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sailorhyunjinz · 3 years

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~ 𝐐𝐮𝐢𝐞𝐭 ~

𝘞𝘢𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 ; Chan x fem!reader, slight choking, piv, unprotected sex (wrap it bitch), exhibitionism, clitoral stimulation, fingering, nicknames, thigh,,, rubbing?, nipple play, dirty talk, cum, orgasm (m/f), getting caught oop.

𝘞𝘰𝘳𝘥 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘵 ; 2,4 k

𝘙𝘦𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘥 ; yes yes!! thank you anon!! this is my last request as well heh

𝘕𝘰𝘵𝘦 ; another song that is very dear to my heart,,, although for a kinda sad reason but we wont get into that lmao-

also i laughed while writing this because idk some of the descriptions are like,,, SO FUCKING WEIRD I DONT KNOW WHAT THIS IS

23. “Should I be quiet?” ; The Neighbourhood - Nervous

𝘊𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘣𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘩𝘦𝘥 𝘣𝘦𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘦𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘥.

𝘗𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘵 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘵 𝘪𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶'𝘳𝘦 𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘢𝘨𝘦 𝘰𝘧 18.

The small room was rather dark, only the moonlight reflecting it’s light through the window as the four walls were filled with small snores and the occasional turning of the blankets. That wasn’t coming from just your boyfriend that lied next to you in a peaceful slumber but the three other boys that had passed out in the room after watching a movie. You sighed, this wasn’t the most appropriate time to be needy but there was nothing you could do about it. No matter how much you turned and twisted the lewd thoughts stuck to your head like gum to the sole of a shoe.

You looked at Chan, his slow breath tickled against your face, his face slightly puffy from all the snacks he ate before bed, his cheek squished against the pillow and you felt bad for thinking such sinful thoughts about him when he was right beside you. You scooted closer to him, unknowingly rubbing against his thigh and not letting your eyes divert from his face for even a split second, heart thumping at the thought that he could wake up at any moment. You let out a tiny whimper, biting your lip and coating it with a sheen of saliva, your face and ears heating up as the gain of friction between your clothed dripping cunt and his bare thigh got to you. Waking him up would just be mean, he worked so hard during the day so surely he deserved a good nights rest but at the same time,,, maybe he needed a way to relieve his stress?

The sensation was just too good, you quickly stripped yourself from your pyjama pants, leaving you in Chan’s oversized shirt and your soaking panties that were sticking to your wet folds, a little patch of slick staining them. Before you knew it you were back to humping his leg like a desperate puppy, just a little longer and then you’ll stop and sleep like you were supposed to. Wrapping your arms around his torso you rolled your hips upwards, trying to aim all the pleasure towards your clit but not really succeeding, however it did still feel good, the bundle of nerves aching for more, aching for a touch. Frustration built up inside you as you could practically hear your heart beating in your ears from nervousness and arousal, you really didn’t want to wake him up.

“Please fuck me Channie~" you whispered weakly, hoping he didn’t hear it or anyone else in that room for that matter. You held one hand over your mouth as the pleasure got too intense, movements getting bolder as you grinded against his relaxed thigh, moving your hips from side to side sometimes and squirming around, your forehead creased, muscles on edge. Maybe the thrill turned you on even more? And even if this was good enough you craved more, maybe you wanted more thrill. You halted your movements before you poked him on the shoulder but got no response, him lying as still as a log, only his chest rising slowly, lungs filling with air. You sighed, there was no use you thought until he grunted lowly, stretching his arms and furrowing his eyebrows, you hurried to turn around, back against him as you shut your eyes tightly, pretending to sleep.

“Baby?” he said in a deep raspy voice, confused as to what your whimpers from earlier were coming from.

“Y-yeah?” you whispered back, turning back to him and acting sleepy, eyes half-closed. He chuckled slightly and you heightened your eyebrows in perplexity, wondering what he was smiling about.

“You know I heard everything?” he said, eyes still closed as he mumbled, his sly smirk still on his lifeless lips. Your eyes widened, your figure froze in shock, with a fake laugh you tried to cover up the situation.

“H-heard what? Did something happen?” you lied, caught off guard by his answer.

“I don’t know,,, all I heard was someone asking to fuck me” he said, almost bursting into laughter as he opened his eyes slowly, seeing your priceless expression. You shy away from him, wanting to sink under the surface of the earth but just as you wanted to turn around and forget about every single thought in your mind you felt his warm hands traveling from your clothed chest to your abdomen and ultimately your cunt, hand slipping under the elastic band of your panties with fingers that inspect the soppiness between your legs. You moan at the sudden contact, pressing your thighs together.

“Shh,,, easy now, you’re so wet, hm? What were you thinking about?” he says lowly close to your ear, hot breath bouncing off the shell of your ear. You scrunch your nose at the ticklish feeling, lifting your shoulder up to your ear and giggling slightly. Chan gives you a peck on the lips before his fingers explore more of your needy sex, his familliar hands lightly grazing your already swollen clit. He rubbed the bud in small circles with two fingers, your hands going down underneath the covers and grabbing his wrist as the speed increased, your breath hitching at the sensation that returned, the start of a deep feeling inside your core.

“e-ehm,,, was thinking about,,, you making me feel good” you whimpered out, too shy to say anything more, your hair covering your face slightly from the way you squirmed around, the bed creaking occasionally.

“Making you feel good? How did I do that?” he said with that grin on his face as if he didn’t know anything, sounding completely innocent despite the scandalous actions that were going on underneath the thin fabric of your panties. You let go of his wrist as he inserted two fingers into your hole, prodding them at your entrance and feeling you clench. It was time to get revenge, he couldn’t just gain pleasure from seeing you weak for him and so your hand gently palmed him through his underwear, earning an unexpected grunt from the boy.

“w-with your dick” you answered to his question in lack of any other answer. His hips bucked against your hand, begging for more with his body and you complied, giving his cock a firm squeeze, moving your hands up from the base towards the tip, teasing it with your thumb. He was becoming rock solid in your hand, cock twitching in your grasp. You giggled, you weren’t the only needy one now.

“Ah yeah? You sure you want to do this here babygirl?” he whispered back to you to which you nodded, his fingers plunging into your hole and curling up towards your g-spot, a well-known sensation spreading throughout your body, his slick-covered fingers playing with your clit again until your squirmed as he touched it directly causing you to flinch. He got on top of you, hovering mere inches from your face and after a long look into your lost moonlit eyes he attached his lips on yours, exhaling unsteadily as your tongues met almost immediately in a romantic daze. Your noses bumped against each other, Chan chuckling momentarily before setting an even pace with his tongue, your small whimpers blending into the sound of lips smacking against each other. Your hands that were previously cupping his cheeks descended down his chest, tugging on the thick band of his boxers but your arms not reaching far enough to pull them off. Your boyfriend smirked, breaking the kiss and moving away from you in order to strip himself from his underwear, leaving him completely exposed to you before he got on top of you again, pulling the covers over him. Before anything else happened you quickly shimmied out of your soaked panties, Chan’s hands lifting up your shirt, exposing the supple valleys of your tits, his hands fondling your boobs right away, thumbs swiping over the already erect nipples. It felt oddly naughty to be doing this with three other boys in the room, being almost completely naked with Chan above you, his lips exploring your neck, leaving small kisses and marks as he nibbled on the skin. You whimpered, your hands tangled in his dark hair as you turned your head to the other side, granting him more access. He got even more worked up by your small sounds that dripped from your lips like sticky sweet honey, you wrapping your legs around his waist causing the base of his cock to press up against your hot cunt, pressing him closer to you because you were hungry for more, the slightest contact would do. Chan left a final kiss on your lips before grabbing the base of his cock and lining it up with your sopping entrance, pushing a strand of hair out of your face and tucking it behind your ear.

“a-are you ready, angel?” he murmured close to you, you humming a small yes as the tip of his cock glided against your wet folds, pushing in gently as you pressed your lips together, furrowing your eyebrows at the initial stretch, your tight cunt enveloping his cock between your velvety walls. He groaned at the feeling, pushing into you further and eventually bottoming out, now balls deep into your aching pussy. Your arms were around his head as he started to suck on your nipples, gently rolling his hips after you’ve adjusted to his size, no matter how much he fucked you, his size never failed to fill you up to the brim, making you scratch his back and leave it covered in red streaks.

“fuck,, you feel so good” you moaned a bit too loud, Chan looked up at you in panic, you slapping a hand over your mouth as you peeked at the boys that lied on a pile of cuddles close to you.

“should I be quiet?” you whispered to which Chan nodded.

“what kind of question is that? of course” he whispered back through a clenched jaw, his hips slamming into you faster and harder for each minute. You tried biting the inside of your cheek, your entire body jolting upwards and making the bed creek with every thrust, it was simply impossible to be quiet and neither could Chan that was slowly but surely losing his own pace, a vein on his neck popping out from the composure that was needed to keep quiet. He glanced at the boys that were lying completely still, only a small snore from one of them. You turned your head to the other side, your neck being exposed to him once again, his hand automatically wrapping around your neck snuggly, making the situation a thousand times hotter. Being choked and fucked by your hot boyfriend next to a pile of his friends? Hot.

The mattress moved as he thrusted into you, a slight squelching sound of your dripping cunt being audible to the two of you. You tried holding on to anything in your reach but finally settled for Chan’s back, digging your nails into his skin as you panted, sweat beading on his temples as his thrusts were getting harder, your tits bouncing in the same pace.

“f-fuck, you drive me crazy y/n” he said, tightning the grasp around neck, you pressing the back of your head against the pillow as you clenched around him, a feeling burning in the pit of your core that was only getting closer.

“Channie~ I love you” you whispered, clenching your teeth causing your words to sound almost violent but you meant it in the most loving way possible, he was yours and you were his. He chuckled silently, you seeing the outline of his soft facial features in the dimly lit room, he whispered it back to you, bending down and rubbing the tip of his nose against your sleepy cheeks before pressing a wet kiss near your ear, his hips repeatedly slamming against you and knocking the breath out of you. Your lips parted, a string of whispered pleas escaping them as you clawed at his back, clenching vigoursly and arching your back as your orgasm washed over you uncontrollably, knocking you completely dumb. There was something incredibly hot in seeing your scrunched erotic expression that sent Chan over the edge, your whimpers that were only getting louder and louder being the most beautiful sound in the earth to his ears. His thrusts got sloppier and uneven, pinning your legs to the bed and spreading them further causing you to squirm at the new aim he got, hitting that spot that almost hurt in overstimulation. Being quiet was completely thrown out the window.

He pulled out of your hole, his cock glistening as he grabbed onto the shaft, stroking himself to completion. The hot cum spurted against your boobs in white ribbons, dripping down your heaving chest as you tried to stabilize your breath, your hands by either side of your head. He groaned as he milked himself from every ounce of cum, the angelic view of his lover being covered in his cum almost made him hard again. All energy was consumed from the sweaty boy that plopped down beside you, the weight of the bed shifting as he lied down next to you, grabbing a pillow that had somehow fallen off the bed during the recent activities. He turned to you, you turned your head towards him and smiled before pressing a kiss on his lips, really not wanting to get up and clean up after his mess. You snuggled closer but were caught off guard when you heard a voice behind you.

“yah,,, Chan can really put it down” Changbin said in a deep voice, both you and Chan bolting up and watching the three boys that looked like they were still in a nice slumber.

“you awake?” you asked, thinking that maybe Changbin talked in his sleep.

“we were all awake because how the fuck do you sleep when someone is moaning into your ear” Felix answered, still facing away from you, slurring his words, his mind still not functioning despite being conscious. You thought your heart sunk, in panic turning to Chan that was just as surprised as you, his ears turning bright red, despite it being so dark in the room you could still see how the skin tinged a pretty color of embarrassment.

“I can’t wait until Hyunjin hears this tomorrow” Jeongin laughed, the other two boys joining in with his laughter, their eyes still closed and faces covered in sleepiness.

That was the price of had to pay when having sex with your boyfriend beside his dormmates.

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poguesrforlife · 4 years

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Young and Beautiful | Rudy Pankow - Part 2

You guys are literally the best! Thank you so much for all the amazing feedback for this little weird imagination in my head :’) BTW I have no clue how the movie business works or if this is even close to accurate but just bare with my fantasies here okay :D xoxo

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4

Trigger warning: It gets a bit very smutty people, be prepared, angsty ???idk

Word count: 3295 (so I went totally over the top with this once again)

Y/N just got the role of her lifetime, starring beside the cast of Outer Banks in the second season as JJ’s love interest. It’s a dream come true and gets even dreamier when she meets Rudy Pankow her alleged love interest. Lines start to blur between reality and film and Y/N is left wondering if taking a leap of faith is worth risking her career.

A couple minutes later you found yourself in your trailer alone. Images and thoughts were flashing in your head, all of them revolving around that kiss. That kiss that didn’t feel like a normal kiss, or any kiss you ever had before. That kiss had been pure magic. There was no other way to describe it. Alone the thought of it send your heart into overdrive and quickened your breath.

And that wasn’t even the worst part, in a couple of hours you were expected back on set after a scene change and doing that kiss with Rudy over and over only half naked.

You had to calm yourself down right this second. Your possible feelings for him couldn’t get in the way of your big break. There was so much more on the line.

A soft knock on your trailer door pulled you out of your thoughts and after opening the door you were faced with a grinning Madelyne and Madison who immediately snuck into your four walls for now.

“What was that?” Maddie C squealed as she sat down on the couch and pulled you down with her.

“What do you mean?” You feigned innocence and looked at them quizzically.

“Hun, you’re a great actress but not that of a good actress and neither is Rudy,” Bailey stated and raised a brow at you.

“Like, Chase and I had our moments on set and even JD and Bailey but we never got so into it that we ignored the ending of the scene,” Maddie pointed out, big smile on her face.

“Guys,” You groaned, just thinking about the embarrassing moment from before. “I don’t even know what happened out there,” You admitted quietly hands over your face as you leaned back.

The girls shared a worried gaze between them as they looked back at you.

“Are you okay though?” Maddie asked and patted your thigh lovingly.

You were so grateful for these two in that moment. You wished you could just bawl in their arms and let all your frustration out but bigger matters were at hand.

“Yes, I’m fine… well I don’t really have a choice,” You mused and gave them a reassuring smile.

Bailey looked at you with a sympathetic smile and closed her arms around you.

“No matter what else might’ve happened out there, you were great. Really really great,” She praised you and you couldn’t help but laugh at her sweet words.

“Thanks for supporting my kissing skills, I guess.” The girls chimed in with laughter at that and you stayed cuddled on the couch until it was time to get back on set.

“You’re going to rock this,” Maddie assured you when she saw your faltering confidence the closer you got to that scene, “and then we can talk about it properly after you had some time to think.”

You squeezed both of the girls’ hands as they led you back to the cameras and the action. You were grateful for their support but the only person you wanted to talk to right now was Rudy. Maybe you shouldn’t have split immediately after the scene and actually talked to him so it wouldn’t be awkward now. But you were an actress after all, you could pretend to not care as much for just a bit longer.

As he came into view with his soft blond waves, where hours before your hands had been entangled in, your heart stopped for a second.

But he didn’t seem to be too bothered as he joked around with the guys and laughed carelessly. Had you been the only one affected by the kiss? Was he just a better actor than you had thought? The thought stung but you knew it would only be for the better. You could be just as nonchalant as him.

“What’re we laughing about?” You chimed in and smiled at the guys. You cringed a bit at your overly joyous voice but couldn’t take it back even if you wanted to as all eyes were fixed on you.

“Rudy just told us how terrible his first kiss was,” Chase explained and smirked at his co-star.

So they had definitely talked about your kiss otherwise they wouldn’t be on the topic, would they? You tried your hardest to look unbothered by it, hoping your face wasn’t turning crimson again.

“Well, I sure hope that I wasn’t your first kiss then,” You joked, “For your sake and for mine.” You bit your bottom lip as your eyes traveled over his face.

He regarded you with an amused little smile playing on his lips as he took you in.

“What? Y/N, as if. Yours would win all the most passionate kiss awards in the country,” JD babbled which earned him a stern look from Rudy and an eye-roll from you.

“At Rudy’s first kiss he actually accidentally spit a piece of gum-“ Chase started giggly but got interrupted by Rudy pushing a hand over his mouth and pushing him out of your ear-shot.

“Would you shut up!” He warned him under his breath and you had to suppress a giggle at his antics.

You could imagine all too well what might have happened with the piece of gum and the poor girl.

For now though, you were just happy that all seemed to be calm and collected between the two of you.

Sooner than you would’ve liked however you were back in business and a dozen people were around you, giving you instructions, doing your make-up, positioning you right and and and…

You loved your job, you really did, but right now you just wanted some piece and quiet.

You were led together into the bedroom of JJ in the Chateau for the scene. It was supposed to be a bit more intimate and shown sex scene than what Chase and Madelyne had done in the first season. You couldn’t help but feel a bit uncomfortable but this wasn’t the first time that you did something like this and you were sure no one would ever get used to that kind of film-making.

The directors sent everyone out of the room they did not especially need to make it as comfortable for the both of you as possible which you thought was infinitely thoughtful.

“You guys have the scene in your hands okay?” Jonas assured you as he went over it with the both of you. “You do only what you’re comfortable with and stop whenever you want.”

“Thanks,” Rudy nodded at his kindness and dropped an arm around your waist. “You’ll tell me how far you want to go okay?”

“We’ll work it out as we go?” You suggested and he pulled you closer to him with a sweet smile. His lips met your forehead in a soft kiss and your eyes fluttered shut for a second at the gentle contact.

“You’ll be great, I’m sure about that,” Valerie gave you a thumbs up and then cameras were rolling.

Rudy’s arm was still around your waist as he led you to the beginning of the scene.

“Promise me, you’ll be honest with me when it’s too much” He whispered, lips grazing the shell of your ear barely and a shiver went down your spine.

You turned your head slowly, eyes locking with his and the incredible saturating blue colour. You didn’t realise how close he was until then. Just a step forward and you would be kissing him.

“Promise,” you gave him your word and watched as relief washed over his face. A simple gesture as him making sure you were comfortable was worth more than any gifts and roses he could have gotten you. Your heart swelled as you looked at him, so grateful that everything in the world aligned for him to meet you in that way. The word ‘destiny’ was dancing around in your mind.

“Action!” You heard someone call and then reality was hidden for the next moments and you were back playing a part.

His lips found yours immediately, just as passionate as before if not even more, and your hands grabbed at him, anything to get him closer to you.

One of his hands pushed the door to the bedroom open as the other sneaked around your waist and you stumbled into the room, lips never leaving another.

“Jump,” Rudy or rather JJ instructed you and you locked your legs around his hips as he grabbed your thighs. Goose-bumps erected on your skin as you felt his touch on the back of your bare legs.

The both of you were already breathing hard, as you couldn’t keep away from each other long enough to catch your breath. It was like your bodies were melting into each other, always closer.

At last his lips left yours and you almost whimpered at the loss of contact but he found a new home on your jaw and neck as he pressed you against the walls of the wooden cabin. Your hand locked around his neck, pulling at the blond waves at the base of it when he met a particular sensitive spot.

“You good?” He asked and you weren’t sure if it was Rudy or JJ asking you. The lines were blurred once again in your mind, but God yes you were more than okay.

“Yes, JJ, yes,” Your voice was slightly hoarse and you thought you heard him moan as he pulled you tighter to him and lifted you off the wall to bring you towards the bed in the middle of the room.

Gently he let you down and hovered over you for a second, admiring your flushed cheeks and red swollen lips. He pecked your lips sweetly over and over and you pulled him in-between your legs, wanting him as close to you as possible. Your breath hitched when he discarded his shirt and you were met with the bare skin of his torso. Your eyes admired every valley and hill of his muscles and soon your hands followed, carefully touching the soft and strong grooves of his abdomen.

A sharp breath escaped him as your cold fingers met his stomach and he leaned back down, reattaching his lips to yours. His right hand found its way to your waist where your shirt had ridden up slightly and you gasped at the contact. His hand wandered to the small of your back, pushing slightly, a signal for you to sit up.

You pushed into him further, your chest pressed to his and he was fingering the hem of your shirt.

“May I?” He inquired kindly and stopped his actions to take a moment to look at you. His brows were drown together as his gaze met yours and you instinctively reached out your fingers to caress the worry of his face. You nodded willingly before you pulled him back into a short kiss and then he stripped off your shirt.

Your head hit the pillows once again and you felt his wet lips on your stomach seconds after. You were only in your bikini top and a pair of shorts now and you tried hard to blend the other people in the room out. Rudy was making a fantastic job of distracting you on that part.

You felt your heartbeat quicken, felt your breath going faster and you knew that this wasn’t anything you could tell your body to do. This was a genuine reaction to this wonderful boy on top of you.

Your whole body felt like it was on fire and drowning in ice-cold water like-wise. You couldn’t remember the last time somebody made you feel like that. The thought that this wasn’t actually real was pressed to the very corners of your mind as you stared into Rudy eyes, his shirtless form hovering above you. God, he was gorgeous. When he looked at you like that and touched your bare skin with his slightly calloused warm hands, it was too easy to forget all the cameras and people around you. But all this was just in your head and you were playing your part just as he did. How you wished in that moment it would be true.

He leaned down further, one hand on your waist drawing lazy circles there and the other one holding him up to not crush you. His lips wandered from your cleavage up your throat to the sweet spot under your ear. Your legs locked around his hips and pulled him closer, his groin meeting the spot between your thighs and you gasped at the sudden sensation, pulling his hair where your hands were entangled.

“Can I take your top off?” He whispered only for you to hear and goosebumps were flashing on your skin at the soft vibrato of his voice.

“Yeah,” You breathed out and arched your back to give him access to the knot between your shoulder blades.

His hand was resting there for a couple seconds without moving and you grew concerned and pulled back to look at his face.

“Are you sure you wanna do this?” He was genuinely trying to make sure you were comfortable with the scene and your exposed body. Nobody in the world could’ve made you feel more secure in this decision than him.

“I would do everything with you,” You whispered just loud enough for the microphones to pick up. You weren’t talking to JJ in that second, you were talking to Rudy. The flashing spark in his eyes and the easy smile returning to his lips told you he knew that as well.

He pulled you up against him and sat up with you straddling him, so your back was turned to the cameras. You gasped surprised at the sudden change of position but it didn’t escape you that he moved you like that so your bare breasts wouldn’t be seen by anybody but him.

“Thank you,” You let out under your breath just for him to hear. You looked at him with so much adoration in that moment and couldn’t help but let your heart fall for him just a bit more.

His eyes moved over your face, just like one of his hands, as if he tried to memorise every plain and freckle on it. You leaned back down to connect your lips and felt an enticing shiver down your spine as his calloused hand opened the knot between your shoulder blades and moved up your spinal column to your neck to remove the top from your upper body.

You welcomed the sudden cold on your bare skin, everything was too hot in that second. But as soon as Rudy pressed his own chest to yours, creating friction on your nipples, it felt like lava was flowing through your veins.

“God, you’re so beautiful,” He said between kisses and one of his hands wandered to your ribcage just below the soft skin of your breast, slowly caressing the skin there.

Your emotions were running high and so was your heart at his touch and his words. With your eyes closed you could pretend that he belonged just to you and nobody else was in the room. Just him and you.

You started grinding on his hips involuntarily your body taking matters into its own hand and not listening to your mind anymore. You gasped when Rudy took one of your breasts into his way bigger hand.

“I need you closer,” He groaned and pressed his hands to the small of your back and your neck before he lay you down again, his chest pressed to yours so close, not allowing anyone to take a look at you.

His hand wandered down to your shorts and he looked down at you questioningly before you nodded and he removed another article of clothing. He removed his own shorts quickly afterwards leaving both of you only in your underwear.

Before it could go any further however he grabbed a blanket lying around on the bed and covered both of you from the waist down and then pretended to pull your last clothes off as well.

“I’m gonna fuck you now, ok?” He groaned in your ear and you could feel his wicked smile pressed to your skin as he told you so.

Holding your eyes locked to his he gave you one last sweet kiss and waited for your consent, which you gave, before he pretended to enter you.

You fake gasped as his hips bucked against yours and your fingers dig into his back as you held him close, chest to chest.

Even though this was all just pretend you couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like to actually share this intimacy with Rudy. What he would feel like inside of you. What he would to you and with you when no one else was around. The thought alone made you wet and your nipples harden.

His head rested in the crook of your neck as he moved against you and breathed hard, occasionally leaving wet sloppy kisses on your too hot skin.

“Fuck, JJ!” You fake moaned and locked your feet around his tight ass as you pulled him closer.

Rudy picked up in pace, you could feel his member even through the hard protective underwear he had to wear for scenes like that. And it drove you absolutely crazy. He through his head back, breaths coming in gasps as his hips grinded into yours.

You wanted him so bad that you felt your insides twisting and knees buckle. Your mind was filled to the brim with thoughts of him: his bright blue eyes and how they crinkled at the corners when he laughed, his brilliant smile with his adorable too sharp teeth, his sinful lips that drove you crazy, his strong body the shone in the late afternoon sun like a god’s. It was only him, him, him.

“Cut!” You heard Jonas scream and the magic disappeared like somebody had hit you with a baseball bat right in the stomach. You could’ve killed him right there and then.

Rudy hovered above you unmoving, still shielding you from the views of everybody else in the room and grabbed a shirt, JJ’s shirt, for you to cover up.

“Are you okay?” He asked once again as soon as the shirt was over your head.

“Yeah,” You smiled at him thankfully, “Are you okay?”

“I am,” He laughed at your sweet question and pecked your forehead before pulling away from you so the both of you sat up in the bed.

Your pulse was still a bit too fast as you faced the team surrounding you.

“Okay, that was wonderful. You two did great. Are you both comfortable?” Jonas asked and you nodded immediately. You were a bit too comfortable actually.

“I think, we’re gonna shoot this scene a couple more times, just to get some different angles and then just JJ and Y/C/N sleeping afterwards and you’re done for today,” Valerie mused and looked between the both of you and to Jonas. You all agreed and then the ordeal started all over again.

It didn’t get any easier to entangle your thoughts of JJ from your thoughts of Rudy however, no matter how often you did the scene.

You were always just as enchanted by him as the first time. His skin on yours, his eyes, his lips, all this sent you right into an abyss of feelings and emotions where no return would be possible.

You had always been good at differentiating between reality and fiction but right now you weren’t so sure if there was anything to keep apart. Because the way Rudy looked at you in-between scenes and during filming… it was the exact same passion and kindness in his eyes.

Tags: @lovelymaybankk @sspidermanss @1d5sosddl @arthiriticcricket @teamnick @lieswithoutfairytales

#rudy pankow x reader #jj maybank #rudy pankow imagine #outer banks fanfiction #outer banks imagine #outer banks netflix #jj fanfic #rudy pankow #rudy pankow fanfiction #outer banks #jj maybank imagine #jj maybank x reader #jj maybank fanfiction #jj fanfiction #rudy pankow smut #jj maybank smut #jj smut #by poguesforlife #by poguesrforlife

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junova · 4 years

Text

↬ 𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐥𝐮𝐞 | 𝐫. 𝐝𝐫𝐲𝐬𝐝𝐚𝐥𝐞

abstract — the one where ransom gets a taste of his own medicine, but you happen to be so much sweeter than he’s ever been.

pairing — ooc!ransom drysdale x fem!reader

wc — 4.1k+ im so sorry lmao

warnings — cheating (if u squint its very vague), angst, fluff, slight self deprecation, ransom is kinda nice idk, i want a soft!ransom drysdale now pls, this is also very messy so read at ur own risk!

[m blabs] — howdy howdy! first time ransom fic. woot woot! still kinda finding my voice w writing so i hope you like it! <333

His mouth set in a hard line as you continued to curl into his chest, the span of your confidence seemed to be wiped away with a nightmare from the past. Part of him was upset you hadn’t told him anything, the blind leading the blind, as you stepped foot into his family event. Seeing the last person you’d ever thought would be there.

Surely by now, he thought you would trust him but it was more than evident you still didn’t. You persisted on hiding everything from him, anything you were sure might tick him off.

Well, Ransom wasn’t necessarily known for biting his tongue. Although, in your presence, he was learning what to say and where to say it.

It really surprised him. Not one woman had been able to tame him, not since he’d be fucking everyone in sight. His desire was endless and not one single individual would be enough for his fill.

Then, he found you drunk and sobbing on the concrete, right outside of the bar he was exiting. To this day, he still couldn’t tell you why he stopped for you. He never really paid attention to anyone if it wasn’t to his own benefit. Ultimately, meeting you was, even if he wouldn’t realize it then.

You flinched from his touch when he patted your shoulder, gently asking if you were alright. If anyone asked him, Ransom would surely deny he felt you pull at the strings of his heart in an instant.

He just knew.

Maybe it’s why it took him so long to accept it, to believe in what he felt for you. Definitely not because you did nothing but be the most wonderful human he’d ever met. More had to do with him.

Ransom dropped you off the first night you met in your small apartment downtown, definitely on the rougher side where he thought his Rolex sporting his wrist may get stolen.

A cute little thing like you living in a neighborhood like this — didn’t make much sense to him. Then again, it certainly checked out with his privilege why he didn’t.

Truly, Ransom didn’t realize how fortunate he truly was. Of course being a trust fund brat gave him the ignorance to live in an unmatched state of bliss.

He still remembers the moment.

Watching as you fumbled with your keys, finding it more than difficult to open your front door. It was cute, with your tongue poking out between your lips in concentration. Now, he wondered how he’d forgotten why he’d gone to get hammered at the bar in the first place.

“Here, let me help.” New to Ransom, he offered a giving hand. Grabbing the key from your jittering fingertips before unlocking your door. He tried to hand you back your keys, but you pulled him so close, your chest touching his own. Dragging two rapid hearts through your apartment.

“You smell like him.” A dopey smile on your face lighting every dark sight of Ransom, not that you’d know it did. “I smell like who?”

“My ex-boyfriend.” Your hands cupping his cheek, but you were too drunk to realize how Ransom flinched from your touch.

He didn’t push you away either.

“But he definitely didn’t look this good.” Defying all laws of his own nature, Ransom let you stay in close proximity to him as you felt him up. Your hand resting on his chest, traveling lower stopping at his stomach. “Definitely didn’t feel this good.”

He watched as you sighed, your puffy eyes were only slightly swollen and the mascara was still staining your skin with the rest of the makeup you wore. If anyone had asked him, you’d looked like a wreck but he still found you alluring.

Ransom always liked his women looking more than fucked out, usually from gagging around his cock. Not crying over a broken heart. Nope. He definitely did not like dealing with a woman's sorrow.

“He never let me touch him though. Guess that should have tipped me off.” You let your hands travel back up, wounding themselves around his neck before they applied more pressure — pulling him into you.

Ransom found you pretty confident for not even knowing anything more than his first name and the car he drove you in. You were definitely craving attention and maybe he’d be more than happy to oblige but the little voice in his head Dr. Shoal told him to listen to was being a pestering, little bitch.

What did Ransom want?

Right now he wanted to drown himself in some sweet ass pussy. He knew you would give yourself easily to him, especially in your drunken state. Clinging onto him like he was a vine.

The smaller part of him, the better part, knew you were drunk out of your mind. Absolutely plastered, but you had to stand there looking like a goddess.

He didn’t really know why he was letting you touch him, maybe in hopes the deeper, darker side of him would win like it always did. Ransom knew better, even if he tried to hide it from everyone including himself.

He liked you. From the very first moment, he knew he’d have to get you. Whether it cost your own sanity or his, Ransom didn’t care.

It’s why he left you drunk and alone, safely tucked into the comfort of your sheets with his number left in your phone. Even taking the liberty of texting himself from it.

He could never be too careful. Letting you slip through his fingers was simply not an option.

Thanks to him, you didn’t forget about him.

The next morning your memory only held vague images of a handsome stranger helping you home, thankfully he seemed to be nothing more than a doting gentlemen. The first for you to ever come across.

Until later in the afternoon the following day, Ransom introduced himself and checked up on you, worming his presence into your life.

Then he kept talking to you everyday, surprising even himself in the matter. Truly, he couldn’t help it. Part of him loved how gently you spoke to him on the phone. No one ever talked to him with such a level of care.

He always warranted yelling, usually he was the one who stirred the pot. He enjoyed it, and thrived in a chaotic environment. It’s what he grew up in. Ransom was more than comfortable with his own family yelling and cursing him out until the sun came up. He did just the same.

So, whenever you sweetly asked him how he was, it threw him off guard.

Not a single soul even cared or bothered to ask him anything. Truth be told, Ransom was a sack of shit treating everyone like they were the gum beneath his shoe. It didn’t matter who talked to him — Ransom was simply more superior in every conceivable way.

He would succumb to not a single soul. Paving his own way through life, with only the money from his trust fund of course.

Then the two of you fell into each other and he could pinpoint the exact moment he did.

The weeks and months blended together. He couldn’t really tell you why he was still lingering around, while he got nothing in return. You did get him off once or twice, but he wasn’t fucking you like he really wanted to.

Maybe it was the innocence in your eyes pulling his soul into the very little good he still had left within him. Or maybe it was the way your thumb dragged over his cheek when you thought he was in slumber, blissfully unaware of your touch.

More importantly his favorite thing, the way you let him hold you when the two of you cuddled. Your arms wrapped tightly around his waist, bouncy cheeks pressed into whatever knit sweater he decided to wear that day.

It was all the little things, unknowingly making him fall in deep like he never had before.

Unwelcoming to him, his mother came barreling in one Sunday afternoon, while you slept in his arms. Even as Linda screamed his name, you never jolted, out like a log. Safe in the peace he kept you in.

Linda looked annoyed, irritated he even had company in the first place but not surprised. What truly shocked her was they both had clothes on. Not truly believing Ransom was capable of such a sinless interaction.

He knew what she wanted; he didn’t even have to move from his position to continue a private conversation. Not that it would get him off the couch, and out of your embrace in the first place.

“I said no. Don’t know why you bothered coming here.” Linda angrily sighed. “You should at least show up.”

Ransom didn’t notice, but subconsciously continued to run his fingertips up and down your spine. Linda did. She noticed that he didn’t even care she was judging him, but let you remain unbothered sleeping in her son’s embrace.

“It’s for Walt. You need to be there.” She stepped closer, hoping the increase in her volume would wake you. “I expect you to grace us with your wonderful presence as does the rest of the family.”

The sarcasm dripped, attempting to coax him out of the four walls he never seemed to leave. Not recently, anyhow.

“I already told you, I can’t.” Now Ransom was irritated and he really wished she would calm the fuck down. It was one day, one event. There would always be another, that much wasn’t lost on him. “I have plans. Send him my best.”

Assuming it was the rumbling of his chest when he spoke, you moved jolting yourself in his arms, before remaining still again. His heartbeat continues to soothe you.

“You have plans? What else could be more important than your family?” The louder Linda’s voice grew the more you stirred, pissing him off.

He really needed to change his locks.

Even if he had no intention of going, he needed his mother to leave. Really for your own sake — trying to save you from Linda giving you a cold shoulder followed with a third degree burn.

“Fine. I’ll go. Can you just leave?” She accepted Ransom’s submission, before looking at your figure. Sound asleep and clinging to her one and only, sinking your claws into him.

She really didn’t like the way Ransom was looking at you. Linda was positive he would never be able to care about someone other than himself, but here he was, holding you close to his chest.

Almost like his life depended on it.

“Who is she to you?” With a raised eyebrow, eyes narrowing to you before meeting back with Ransom’s cerulean blues.

“I don’t know yet.” Ransom paused looking down at you, so beautiful. Holding a light so pure, so radiant; he hoped no matter how cruel he could be, he’d never act like that towards you. “Maybe someone I don’t deserve, but want to be better for.”

His rough, calloused fingers drawing mindless patterns on the exposed skin of your waist. He didn’t know what Linda said next or when she left.

Time seemed to stand still, his confession hitting his chest fiercely. He let himself sit with it for a moment, before you woke up. Enjoying a moment where he didn’t have to deal with anything, he didn’t have to say a word.

He could just enjoy the moment without eyes judging him or you questioning why his eyes seemed to shine just a bit brighter whenever you were around.

It was the first of many. Moments where he felt small pieces of himself chipped away into your care. Planes of existences within him no one had ever scratched the surface of.

Much like right now as you cried into his chest, begging for mercy.

Because you were afraid. Terrified you had made the worst mistake, an unforgivable one. You lied about your past and to Ransom it felt like more than a betrayal. More accurately he felt a dagger in his heart placed strategically with your murderous hands.

He’d never felt such empathy and pain at once. Maybe he’d never been empathetic a day in his life at all.

Until now.

To make matters worse, he knew his entire family was watching the whole scene from the window. It wasn’t from worry or concern for either one of you. Mainly all of them enjoying pain being inflicted on Ransom.

Linda of course wallowing in her ego, he could practically see her bask in her own pride. Another thing she’d been right about checked off the list.

The rest of the family watched the two of you fight with shiteating grins permanently stamped on their face. They’d never seen Ransom care about anyone but you. To watch the relationship he held so close to his heart blow up so publicly, only fueled the fire to Ransom’s rage.

Except Harlan.

Even through his hot, beating anger Ransom was trying his best to comfort you. To calm you down even if you had been the one to be caught red handed. Harlan couldn’t believe it, someone Ransom seemed to care about more than himself.

More than any of his family. Not that Harlan was offended. Well, maybe a little, but more so he was thrilled his grandson finally found someone he had to grow up for. Someone he had to earn, not buy.

No bribes. No schemes. No games.

Just you.

“Hugh, please talk to me.” How could he? It’s not like he had much to say. Maybe he did, he just wasn’t sure how to get the words out without hurting you or himself.

“I know I lied and I fucked up, but please — we need to talk about it.” Soft hands reaching for his own, but he brushed them off, his hands snaked higher on your waist. “We should have talked about this the moment you met me.”

Dead silence is all you were met with as he walked the fine line of pushing you away, leaving you behind and pulling you closer than he ever had.

“You’re right. I should have told you the truth but can you blame me?” He met you with solemn eyes and his own heart beating rapidly. “Yes I can.” Ransom was trying to act cold and distant but the two windows to his soul told a different story.

“That’s fair.” Even as he was holding you, Ransom still felt like he was a galaxy away. He was withholding himself from you like a turtle retracting into their own protection. A year ago, before he met you, he knew he would have never even recognized it.

Now, you made it possible for him to be aware of just how much he had changed. He broke old habits of his own just to please you so when you disappointed him, this unreachable high standard he held you to, it shattered his sense of self.

“Did you still love him?” Ransom questioned you. “I did. At the time, he’s all I ever really knew. I thought that’s what love felt like. The only image of love I had was the one he gave me. So, I ran with him and it crushed me.”

Ransom had to pretend the words you were speaking didn’t split him into you two. The image of you falling in love with someone else was enough to make him wanna strangle your ex.

His friend.

“Then we just got into one really big blow out. Right in the bar in front of all of his friends I had met for the first time that night.” You reached for a chunk of his sweater, clenching the material in your hand, like you were trying to convince yourself to let the words fall from your mouth.

“He told me how much I’d been irritating him and I couldn’t help but notice every girl he flirted with and touched right in front of me.” You tested the waters, placing both of your hands over his chest, the beat of his heart calming you down.

“Then I just cracked. It was only one of the many fights we’d been having over the course of the past few months. Everyone single argument pushed me closer to the edge, until the last one actually did.” You sighed, watching as he frowned.

“I ended things that night, before getting thoroughly plastered and soon enough crying on the cement. Wasted and lonely out of my mind, until I met you.” You moved your hand from his heart, cupping his clean shaven face.

“You made me realize I never knew what love really meant or felt like.” This piqued Ransom’s interest.

You said love.

Could a tragedy bring out the words Ransom craved to hear more than anything in the world?

Maybe you cared about him, more than anyone ever showed him. But loved him? How could someone be as hateful as him be worthy of someone like you?

Even if you had broken his heart, he’d done far worse to more people than he could count. He wasn’t really in a place to judge but it didn’t change the fact it still hurt. A lot.

“Hugh.” You heard him gulp rather loudly. “Yes?” His tone came out as more of a question than a response.

The silence he gifted you was unsettling at the very least. “You've barely said a word.” He was surprised he didn’t scurry off in his beamer the second he saw the guilt reach your eyes.

He was surprised he hadn’t let his anger take over and let the rage he felt inside body take it all out on you.

He was surprised he somehow couldn’t inflict a single hateful word towards you, even as you sat with his heart in your hands.

In pure bliss of just how much you owned him.

“I hate it. This fucking corner you’ve back me into. Not to mention for the prying eyes of my entire family to watch the show.” The sharp tone he uses sensoring you. “You used me just to get back at him.”

“Like I was some pawn in your game and I really even shouldn’t be mad.” He paused, trying to choose his words as carefully as he can. “I’ve done the same thing to so many different women. Used them and threw them out at my earliest inconvenience.” To your surprise, even Ransom’s, a single tear left his eye showing you how much you really meant to him.

You hated yourself for letting it get to this point.

“But you? I could never even think about hurting you. I could never live with myself if I treated you like everyone else because you’re so much more than that to me.” The tears continued to roll. The dame Ransom kept shut his entire life, opened because of you and he just wanted to make it stop.

He would give anything — even you.

He just wanted to not feel like a piece of shit for once in his life. For a moment, he thought he might have a chance to be something more than the picture he portrayed in everyone’s mind. You showed him maybe it was more complex than it seemed.

“I just assumed I was that for you.” You sighed in frustration, softly wiping his tears away. “You are, though. You are more than that.”

“Then how could you be so okay with lying to me?” The crease between his eyebrows only created more of an indention as he felt the anger trying to escape out of him.

You let the tension get to you first.

“Because I-I was scared if I told you the truth, you’d never tell me.” You puzzled him once again. You softly reach up between his furrowed eyebrows, the pad of your thumb smoothing it out.

“Tell you what?” His mind was clouded with the possibilities of what he could have missed.

“I can’t spell this one out for you.” You were tired of being the one to do everything first. Even if your intentions weren’t free from fault once you realized who he was, your feelings for him were anything but.

“I don’t know what you want from me. You only let me fall for you because you knew how much it would hurt him.” He bit back, growing impatient and tired. “Any other time, I would have cared. Probably would have been more than happy to assist. But you made me-”

Then Ransom cut himself off, jumping out of the swing and away from you.

“I’m sorry. I can’t do this. I thought I could.” He literally sprinted to his beamer, but you chased him.

You were hell bent and just as crazy as he was. Maybe it’s why it worked for as long as it did.

“Hugh! Get back here.” You were running, thankful you’d gone for a more casual outfit today, the sneakers supporting your feet far better than the heels you’d usually wear.

Maybe if it was someone with a normal childhood upbringing you would have just cut your losses but this was someone who chose to be called Ransom.

This was someone who chose to run away from love and care because the only affectionate way he knew how to treat someone was to throw money at them.

This was someone who had the communication of a ten year old because that’s when his own mother didn’t bother to mess with him anymore before sending him off to boarding school.

This was someone who didn’t know how to love — and to be loved.

By the time you caught up to him his was digging for his keys, but he couldn’t fucking find them.

“Hugh Ransom Drysdale.” Your tone was sharp and he knew you meant business. “For once in your life, stop running away.”

“Why not? What good has it ever done for me to stay?” His back was facing you, his broad shoulders stilled with the rest of his body. Almost like he was ashamed of what he was hiding.

“I can’t speak for everyone else. I can’t speak for your mother or for Richard. For Harlan or for anyone else you thought might abandon you and really did.” You inched you way closer until you knew he felt how close you were to him.

“I can only speak for me.” Giving yourself, the final piece of you to a man who might run away from it.

You were so close he felt your breath on his back, and it made him tremble. He was shaking, terrified of it all. You didn’t let him be for long.

Intertwining your fingers with his, as he kept them at his sides, rubbing your thumb along the palm of his hand.

“I’m sorry for the way I hurt you. Lied to you. You never deserved it. Never.” You thought it would be easier if he didn’t have to look at you while pouring your heart out to him. A theory proved to be right as he gave your hand a squeeze.

“You’ve done nothing but treat me like a princess. You’ve done right by me, more than anyone else I’ve ever met in my life. It made me feel inadequate. My dark secret, always looming over us like a dark cloud of my own personal doing.”

“I’m sorry I haven’t done the proper thing by us and made you feel like I used you. You had every right to feel it because I did.” You took a deep breath, mustering up the courage to face whatever the future held for the two of you.

“I never expected to fall in love with a trust fund, playboy brat.” You felt him take a deep breath, like a breath he’d be holding all his life could finally be set free.

“I love you, Hugh.” The next thing you knew he had you pushed up against the car, lips hungrily attacking your own.

All forgiven because you love him. You actually were in love with him.

He couldn’t fathom it really because you’d been the first. To accept him just as he was. The first to refuse to call him Ransom because you like the way Hugh rolled off your tongue better.

You liked how he felt on your tongue, too.

The first to tell him Fran and Marta should call him Hugh because you wanted to be the only one who got to. The first woman to cook for him, willingly and not attached to the Thrombey payroll.

The first woman he had ever fallen in love with.

The first one he’d stick around and not run away for.

So, he kissed you. Hard. Softly whispering how much he loved you into the kiss, because maybe he wasn’t ready to say it outright. Loud and proud.

Yet, he felt it with every bone of his body — no longer lost in the blues.

taglist: @tonystankschild @parkastoria @tinylumpiaa @brattycherubwrites

#im so anxious to post this #bc i dont really love it but.......#here we go folks.#i rewrote it too many times sksksk 💀#not doing it again #ransom drysdale #ransom drysdale x reader #ransom drysdale smut #ransom drysdale fluff #ransom drysdale fic #ransom drysdale one shot #ransom drysdale fanfiction #chris evans #chris evans x reader #m.writes

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ill-skillsgard · 3 years

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Faust x Faith - No Looking Back

Warning: 18+ smut, public sex, violence, blood, arson, implied death, mentions of non-consensual touching (nothing explicit and no r-words used,) mentions of stalking, unconsciousness, anti-religious themes, strong language.

Note: Hey, hey. I’ve wanted to write this for a while, but haven’t had much time. This isn’t based on any requests—just something I feel needs to happen to move the universe along. After this, I’ll be basing future FxF stuff off drabble requests instead of going story-heavy for a bit. Likes, comments and reblogs are suuuper ‘ppreciated!

Summary: - Not based on Lords of Chaos. I use Faust!Valter’s likeness only as inspiration - 3.6K words -

Faust makes good on his word to protect Faith, taking drastic measures to assure her assailant never bothers her again.

Read more Faust x Faith here [x]

Thin raindrops pattered the man's leather jacket as he walked through the streets with his hood drawn up and his eyes low. For two days, the drizzle persisted and melted the black snowbanks into slush. Though the dismal atmosphere kept most inside, Sven had good reason to travel across town on foot. The promise of a girl's company waited at the end of his route, and he put off his regular nightly routine of masturbating to fetish porn for—what he hoped was—the real thing.

He glanced at his cracked phone screen every few minutes to check in with her, making sure she hadn't changed her mind, that she was serious. From the earnestness of her messages and the speed at which she replied to his questions, he determined she meant what she said about wanting to meet. Finally, his luck was turning. He’d show that miserable bastard Faust who was the better man.

- What abt ur bf? Lol

- What about him? Not here, is he?

- Thought u were a good girl.

- Haha, not really. Are you close?

- Ya. Y r we meeting at this random place?

- I need you to promise you won't tell a soul. If you can prove that to me, maybe we can keep meeting up.

- Lol ok. I PROMISE I won't say a word😉

- Thank you. Hurry, please. It's cold out!

- Be there in 5. I'll let u wear my jacket altho idk might not need it😉

- Hehe omgosh. You're making me blush.

- I'll make u do way more then blush baby. Just wait.

Sven lengthened his strides and turned the corner onto a hill leading toward the industrial area of town. Down the slope, he walked past several warehouses and legions of trucks parked inside barbed-wire fencing. It was a peculiar site to meet up, but his rendezvous insisted on a place nobody would think to look.

Betting his night would take an erotic turn, Sven popped a piece of gum in his mouth and chewed away the cigarette taste. He was seconds away from the spot she chose to meet, and his chest constricted with excitement. His boots crunched over gravel and garbage as he walked down a narrow alley between two faceless buildings. There was an open lot at the end of the lane, where he assumed she was waiting. As he made his way through the dimly lit alley, he whistled to make his presence known. The shrill tune reverberated off an overflowing dumpster to his left, and as he stepped to clear the reeking trash receptacle, something hard and blunt swung out at eye-level and flattened him to the ground.

Dazed and blinded from the sudden strike, he tried moving his mouth, but only a bubble of blood popped from his lips. A piercing stream of sound filled his ears as the edges of his vision turned dark. A large black figure came into view above, haloed by the soggy grey sky in the deepening veil. The featureless shadow chuckled deeply before a heavy boot's tread put out his lights.

~*~

Several hours passed before Sven's eyelids shuddered. By then, his assailant had had plenty of time to tie him to a wooden chair and organize his instruments of punishment. A headache blistered through the man's skull, throbbing in his eye sockets until he gained enough consciousness to open them. When he saw the person who had knocked him out, his throat closed and the gasp ripping through came out high-pitched.

"Faust... Please... Don't—" Sven hiccoughed. "Don't do this. I'm sorry. I'm SORRY!"

Faust, who had been facing the doorway at the end of a long red runner, turned toward Sven, holding a hammer's handle in one hand while cradling the head in the other. A malicious smirk peeked out from a curtain of black hair. He took a step forward, the clomp of his leather boots echoing through the church. Each step made a menacing sound that bit down on Sven's nerves and rattled his sensitive skull.

"What are you apologizing for?"

"I know you hate me, but please, don't hurt me. I swear I'll never talk to her again!"

Faust approached, flashing the obsidian hammerhead. He tossed the tool in his grip and stuck his hand into his pocket, producing several five-inch nails.

"No! God, no, please! Faust! Don't do this!"

The black-haired giant stopped to admire the curve of the hammer’s prongs. Sven looked around the empty church and saw a jerrycan taking up space in a nearby pew. He immediately started struggling against the jute rope binding his wrists and ankles to the chair as Faust drew nearer, smile uncoiling.

"I already gave you the chance to never talk to her again. Remember?"

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!"

"Sorry means fuck all to me. You should know that. The only reason you left the campsite with your dick intact is because of the witnesses," Faust said, then spun around with his arms out, showcasing their solitude. "Now, it's just you and me."

"Please don't," Sven muttered through swollen lips. "Fuck, I'll do anything!"

"There's nothing you can do. Nothing a sorry sack of human waste can provide this world to make me change my mind."

"SHE LIED!"

Faust jingled the nails in his jacket, reminding Sven who held the weapon.

"Whatever she told you... It's not true! I was at the party, but I didn't do anything to her!" Sven's voice cracked.

"Oh... So you didn't follow her into my bedroom?"

"No! I talked to her for a minute, and that's all. That's all, I swear, Faust. Don't kill me."

The stomp of boots neared the altar where Sven struggled in the chair. He twisted to loosen the rope and slipped one hand out. Faust grabbed his wrist and pinned it to the arm of the chair, readying a nail between his lips as he gripped the hammer. Sven let out a scream, stifled instantly by the hammerhead. Faust wedged the metal between his teeth and hissed.

"Shut the fuck up, or I'll use this to smash your teeth out like a goddamn window. Understand me?"

Sven nodded and quaked as Faust placed the tip of the nail against the soft, flat part of his forearm.

"Stay still. If I fuck up and hit the Radial or Ulnar artery... You could bleed out before I'm done. Gotta get it right between the bones." Faust slapped the pale skin to reveal blue veins. He pressed the nail’s tip in place and rose the hammer above his head, bringing it down and stopping short of the head as Sven shrieked.

Faust cackled. "Jesus Christ, dude. Did you really think I was gonna nail you to a chair?"

Sven groaned, relieved and moist with cold sweat. "Faust, I'm serious. Please, man. You gotta believe me."

His dark laughter continued, bouncing off the high ceilings, the wooden pews and polished floors. As Sven let out his own nervous chuckle, Faust brought the hammer down in one swift pull, then slapped his hand over Sven's gaping mouth to stifle the screams. Howling, Sven rattled his head back and forth as a searing bolt of pain tore through his right arm, crackling in his shoulder where it burned and burned.

Faust tore his phone out of his back pocket and brought up a video, slamming the screen into Sven's face. The video of him grabbing Faith in his room while he was states away watching the live feed from the camera he'd set up on the desk.

"I knew these little cameras would come in handy. See? I know what you did, you stupid fuck. And you know what else? I would have just beat the shit out of you had I not stopped by your place before our little meeting."

Sven whined, tears pouring from his eyes in steady streams.

"Oh, yeah. That's right. I went into your room... Saw some interesting things on your computer. At first, I thought it was just standard fucking creep shit. Snuff porn, torture... Teen girls. None of that surprised me... Until I dug around and found your little stalker file buried in your folders. You didn't even encrypt it. How fucking stupid are you?"

"I'm sorry," Sven shook.

"Why are you apologizing to me?"

"I'm sorry for touching her. I should have left her alone."

"What'd you think was gonna happen? That she wouldn't tell me? Or that I wouldn't believe her? And now I know you've been following Faith around, taking pictures of her, you fucking predator. And what about those other women, huh? You sorry about them, too?"

"Yes! I'm sorry. I know I have problems! I'm trying to get help. Please, Faust. If you let me go, I promise I'll do it. I'll get better. I haven’t hurt anyone!"

Faust shook his head slowly, grunting in refusal. "No. I meant what I said when I told you I'd crucify you if you went near Faith again. I'm doing the world a favour."

Sven hung his head and bled from the grievous wound pinning him to the chair, shuddering weakly from his injuries. Faust would never relent. He'd witnessed the drummer's cold disdain, the malignant hatred living inside that made him turn to the dark with open arms. Faust wasn't an actor. He pledged himself to the darkness with unyielding conviction, never one to take such things lightly. This realization depleted Sven's will to reason with the man.

Faust gripped another thick nail and drove it through Sven's left arm, smiling as blood dripped from the wood onto the church altar. The violent yelps filled Faust with morbid delight as he pressed the bloodied hammer under his victim's chin and raised his face.

"You're gonna die tonight, Sven."

"What makes you better than me? You'll be a murderer," Sven stuttered. "You hurt people, too."

"You and I are not the same. Don't ever compare yourself to me. You're a coward, and I warned you. Tread on what's mine, and I'll destroy you. That's what I said."

"All this over a girl? Are you fucking crazy!?"

Faust stooped to one knee, looking up at Sven as though the insult had cut him. Faust's brows arched, bottom lip jutting outward as he studied Sven, who closed his eyes. Then, Faust rose to his feet, leather stretching from the motion. Faust tapped his chin, smiled, and leaned over to whisper, "yes... Totally fucking crazy."

With a powerful kick to the chest, Faust sent the chair and Sven toppling backward. He then unzipped his pants, pulled out his manhood and giggled as he emptied his bladder on the weeping man. While Sven cried and moaned, Faust closed his zipper, whistling merrily. He left Sven on his back and snatched the jerrycan from the pew, taking slow, calculated steps while twisting off the cap and dousing the altar in gasoline.

As the gas trickled, Sven's desperation mounted. He could not flail, so he screamed. Faust gently reminded him what he'd do to Sven's teeth if he carried on shouting. The pinned man blubbered and begged, but Faust ignored his pleas. Inside his head, all Faust heard was the sound of flames rushing into a circle around Sven, crackling over the carpet and up the old church's wooden beams. By the time the roof caught fire, Faust had planned on being long gone.

"Please, Faust... You'll regret this! I know you're a serious person, but this is too far. You won't be able to live with yourself!"

"Wrong. I couldn't live with myself knowing I let a vulture like you walk this planet freely." Faust poured a trail down the floor runner, far away from the altar. He tossed the can aside and looked up at the Catholic saints' stained-glass portrayals and Jesus at the center of it all, staring down with sad eyes. Faust took a book of matches from his pocket and ripped one from the bunch, running its tip across the ignitor strip until a small flame burst to life. Faust flicked the match to the ground without a second thought, and the flame ate up the gasoline trail swiftly. The church was illuminated, and the colourful glass windows came to life. Faust raised his eyes to the forlorn Jesus and leered while the fire spread.

He did not stay to admire his work or revel in the cries of a man burning alive. Faust fled before the fire consumed the church, not once looking back or wondering if his victim had somehow escaped. He trudged through puddles of slush, hair swinging in the wind, white shadows of breath leaving his mouth.

It was time to get back to finish the tour. But he had one more stop to make.

~*~

Faith left the mall after helping close the book store. She received small smiles and nods from the mall staff as they locked doors and unfolded security gates. Some of the people she had spoken to before, and some she had only seen in passing. Though she returned their pleasantries, inside Faith was fretting. She tried not to worry about her boyfriend or ask where he was under strict orders to go about her day as usual.

She stepped into the evening air as the sun sank, taking the blue from the sky along for the descent. Wisps of white cloud stretched across the pink and violet above. Faith took in a deep breath and walked to the bus stop situated between a movie theatre and a dollar store. She popped her earbuds in and turned on a song that reminded her of Faust; one he wouldn’t like. His music taste had no room for the upbeat indie rock she enjoyed. Still, she smiled when the lyrics reminded her of him.

The scent of cigarette smoke caught her attention, and she looked around, finding no culprit. She wondered where the smell came from if nobody was around but soon forgot when the city bus appeared in the distance. It had to make a long trek around the parking lot before it pulled up at the movie theatre. Faith readied her bus card to scan as another cloud of smoke enveloped her senses.

Faith whirled around, and there he was, all black and leather, white teeth clutching the filter of a cigarette. Faust smiled, his words bolting from his mouth as she clamped her arms around him and crushed her face into his chest. The leather and musk brought tears to her eyes. She ripped out her earbuds and tried not to weep.

He hushed her, lifted her off the ground and retreated into the shadowed alley between the theatre and the store. By the time the bus pulled up, Faust had pressed her against the brick wall behind the building.

"Faust. Oh my gosh, where have you been? I was so worried," Faith gasped.

"Sh, don't ask questions, baby." Faust smothered her mouth, holding her thighs around his waist.

"Mm—I love you. Oh my God. I can’t believe you’re here! I love you so freaking much."

"I know you do," Faust breathed against her lips. "I love you, too, babe."

"Tell me where you've been!"

Faust shook his head and kissed her neck instead. She raked her fingers through his hair, knocking his hood down so she could see him unobstructed.

"Told you... Don't ask... Mmkay?... Stop asking... Just let me... Mm—fuck!"

Faith pulled his pelvis inward with her thighs, rubbing against his crotch and the heavy bullet belt wrapped around his hips. In their cloud of lust, Faust pushed his black jeans down just enough to free his erection.

"Fuck, I love your little skirts. Makes it so easy," Faust murmured.

The thought of Faust showing up disquieted her, but his lips on her skin and his desire thwarted these anxieties for a while. She set aside her questions, happy to have him in her arms again and overcome by arousal. When he stretched her panties aside and pushed into her, they both froze in expressions of excruciating ecstasy. Faust tilted his head back and closed his eyes, and Faith clutched his shoulders, already writhing from the intense fulfillment between her legs.

Just as she thought Faust might drop her, he bent his knees and hoisted her higher up on the wall. In his arms, she weighed close to nothing. She missed feeling tiny against him.

"Miss my cock?" He growled in her ear.

"Yes, baby. Oh my gosh, of course, I missed it. I missed my big man."

"Yeah? Fuck, I miss my little pussy," Faust breathed. "Mm, show me those gorgeous tits."

Faith unbuttoned her work polo and stretched the collar down around her breasts for Faust to bury his face. Though there wasn't an abundance of flesh to lose himself in, Faust shivered from the first taste of her nipples. With muted groans of pleasure, he rammed into her until Faith could no longer contain her cries, unaccustomed to his girth. Faust absorbed her whimpers with his mouth, coaxing her tongue until she only hummed.

He felt ferocious from the last twenty-four hours. If he could make Faith scream without drawing attention, Faust would have slammed her into the wall and fucked her until she shredded her vocal cords. He had to keep a low profile. Even visiting Faith was a considerable risk, but one he relished taking as she clamped her thighs and rutted against him.

He supported her ass in both hands and shifted off the wall to fuck her standing up. While he took her this way, she wrapped her arms around his neck and whimpered, whispering, "yes, fuck my pussy hard, big boy. Oh, I love that big cock inside me."

Faust unhooked and held her out so he could watch her breasts jiggle with every bounce. "You still taking your birth control? I'm gonna fucking bust so hard inside you, baby."

"Yeah. Yeah, baby, do it. Fill my pussy, please. I want your cum."

Her dirty talk and sweet sobs for his cock pushed him over the edge. He cradled her head as he pushed her against the wall and throbbed between her legs until empty. Faust pulled out and immediately turned her around and bent her over to watch globs of fresh cum dripping from her wet slit. He used one finger to push some of it back inside and had her suck off the rest. Afterward, he pulled up his pants and compressed her against the wall, one hand over her mouth while the other worked her clit in gentle circles. Faust didn't stop until she squealed and shuddered against him, muffled in his jacket and writhing from the manual orgasm.

When Faith calmed down, he released her and stepped away, pulling a cigarette from the squished pack in his jacket pocket. The lighter's flame created an orange halo around his face and promptly died. He smoked like nothing had happened while she fixed her skirt, buttoned her polo and zipped up her coat.

Faith smiled up at her lover, the night blotting out most of his features.

"I'm so glad you're home," she said.

"Not for long," Faust exhaled.

Her heart quivered. "Wait, what?"

"I gotta go back."

"When?"

"Tonight."

"What? No! But... You just got back," said Faith.

Faust shrugged, his leather jacket speaking for him. The evening matured, consuming the details of her hurt expression until the streetlamps along the road came to life.

"Why did you come here?"

Faust took one last long haul off his cigarette and flicked it down the alleyway. "Listen to me, Faith... You need to quit asking questions. I'm serious. The more questions you ask, the worse it'll be. And you and I did not see each other tonight. As far as you know, I'm on tour. Understand?"

"Yes," Faith said to appease him.

"I want to stay, trust me. But I can't. You know why. All the answers you want, you already have. Don't keep bugging, don't mention it ever again."

"I want to go with you," she whispered.

"No. You stay. Go to your classes, go to work, go visit your parents. Everything normal. And I don't want you moping around either. You put on that pretty smile, and you pretend for me. I'll call you in a couple of weeks before the last show and arrange a way for you to get there."

"What do you mean you’ll call in couple of weeks?" Faith whined. “What about goodnights?”

"I don't have a phone anymore."

"Why—? Oh, um... Okay. I understand."

Faust gathered the girl up in his arms and kissed the top of her head. "Good girl. I love you, and I miss you."

"I love you, too."

He tipped her face up and sensed tears forming in her eyes. Faust shook his head. "No crying. We'll see each other very soon. Just a couple more weeks."

"I know," she sighed.

"I love you more than anything, Faith. Now, go catch your bus. Should be here in a few minutes."

"But what about you?"

"Don't worry about me. I'm on tour. I'm not even here," he explained.

Faust kissed her again, smoothed his hands over her shoulders and turned her to face the bus stop. He urged her along. "No looking back. Hop on the bus and go do your schoolwork."

"Okay," she said, determined to make him proud. Faith walked out of the shadows and into the lamplight hovering over the depot. Across the lot, the city bus pulled in, and though she longed to turn around to see Faust watching over her, she kept her eyes forward and waited. When the bus pulled up, and the doors drew back, she stepped onto the platform and smiled at the driver as she scanned her pass. Faith took a seat in the back and put in her earbuds. She searched through a list of bands and selected the only one whose logo was illegible. As she pressed play, she listened to the immediate assault of the drums, their constant and violent beat. Faith smiled—warm in her chest and between her legs.

#faust x faith #valter skarsgård smut #valter skarsgård fanfiction #valter skarsgard fanfiction #Valter Skarsgard imagine

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yeaimfishboi · 4 years

Text

You were still crying. Even though both Seungmin and Woojin were cuddled up next to you. Jisungs words were like a stab in the back.

“Squish, do you think you can make it to the good part, or do you wanna just lay down and go to bed?” Seungmin smiled before squeezing you tighter.

“I think I can make it. I mean it is the most satisfactory part!” You smiled back.

“No spoilers!! I don’t wanna know what happens!” Woojin screamed before covering his ears.

“Oh, shut up, you don’t even like Star Wars!” Seungmin sighed before pushing Woojin. Very quickly it became a game of shoving and throwing out “no, you shut up”s back and forth.

“Y/N! There’s someone here for you!” You heard Minho yell from the living room. “He’s got buff arms with lots of ve-“ You assumed you heard the sound of Minho being smacked upside the back of the head.

“Could you not do that while your boyfriend is standing right next to you?” Jisung cut in.

You looked at the two boys sat right next to you, noticing the clear smirk on their faces.

“Don’t you even think about it!” You tried telling them but they took off before you could even finish.

“Seungmin! Woojin! Get back here!!” You screamed taking off after them. You almost caught up with them, but when you looked up you realized you were making direct eye contact with your visitor.

“Chan?” You asked gazing up at him with wide eyes. His eye was swollen and nearly purple, and he had a large bruise on his cheek.

“I figured since you told me that you were having a Clone Wars marathon with Seungmin that maybe you’d want some snacks?” He asked shaking a convenience store bag.

“Thank you good sir! We shall put these to very good use! Woojin let’s go! Dogma’s about to-“

“I said no spoilers!!!” Woojin interrupted Seungmin before storming off to your room.

“Y/N, have you been crying?” Chan asked, walking up to you and stroking your cheek.

“Ugh, I don’t need to listen to this!” Jisung stormed off to his room grabbing Minho along with him. As soon as they were out of sight you pulled Chan out into the hallway, shutting the door.

“Did you really need to make that big of a scene?” You scolded, poking him in the chest. “Why’d you even come in the first place?”

“I thought that it would be nice to help convince your friends a little bit by being spontaneous and romantic.” He chuckled shrugging his shoulders.

“Well, you couldn’t have picked a better fucking time,” you added the sarcasm dripping from your gums.

“I could tell by your red eyes and puffy face. By the way? It doesn’t look good on you,” you about punched him right then and there.

“Care to explain the black eye? Or was it another street fight you lost,” you seethed.

“Actually, these came from your lovely cousin. He seems very happy for us!”

“Sounds like you deserved it,” you snorted.

“He was upset that I took you on a date.”

“Did I stutter?”

“I also came to tell you that date #2 is in three days. I’ll pick you up at 4,” he smirked.

“Umm, I’m busy that day,” you looked away.

“No you don’t, there’s no school. I know you don’t have a life outside of school.”

“Oh, eat cow dung.” You rolled your eyes.

“Look, I’m gonna go home. Could you manage to not morph into Hades while I’m gone?” He chuckled before turning around.

“I don’t answer to ghouls,” you went back inside and rejoined your two friends who were both screaming at the tv when you got back.

Serendipity ✨💫

Part 13: “Hades”

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Tag List | @justlovingamy @ridin-and-rolling-reloading @7829-kamie @lazyliyah @mafia-nct @tahaing @peachykrystal @swimmingismywholelife @rebeccafultz-blog @i-write-in-my-head-only @letterstoskz @luvlnos (idk why I can’t tag you) (If you would like to be added to the tag list just fill this out here!)

A/N: Please don’t hate me pt2! I really wanted this angst in here as it was kinda needed. But I also hope you enjoyed the Chan x Y/N interactions.

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ruffboijuliaburnsides · 5 years

Note

Know You Uncomfortably Well: 5, 8, 9, 12, 23, 24, 28, 33, 35, 38, 46, 50, 67, 86, 87 (you /did/ ask for it, my friend :p)

haha I did indeed, and you are ridiculous. *cracks knuckles* HERE WE GO!

5. What is your favorite color?

Purple! Specifically purples along this sort of palatte:

8. Where are you from?

Arizona, originally! But upstate new york is legitimately where my heart lies and where Birdie and I ultimately plan to return to one day.

9. How tall are you?

5′4.75″ ...It’s actually closer to 5′4.5″ but well it all comes out about 164cm in the end.

12. What was your last dream about?

So I don’t tend to remember my dreams very well, but they always tend to be very cinematic and don’t always even involve me, though some of them do. Always there’s a plot, even if I can’t remember what the plot is.

The last one I still have some vague memory of I was living in some sort of fascist sort of 1984-ish state, but all slick and 2000s modern and stuff. And I was in a resistance with Penn & Teller for some reason? And somehow they were still celebrities? It was bizarre.

23. Have you ever met any celebrities?

I have! I think there’s only two that weren’t like. Popular Christian Musicians From The Late 90s/Early Aughts, and those were Alice Cooper (who was very nice and thought the story I told him about how when my mom was in college he performed near her and she hopped the fence at the tiny local airport his private plane had landed in and stuck her gum to the bottom of it before going to the concert was VERY funny).

And the other one I actually knew before he was a celebrity but I think it still counts? But I was kind of quasi-adopted as a little sister sort of person by Kellan Lutz’s mom? Uh, he was in the Twilight movies, I forget the guy’s name, the big jock one of the Cullens? I also babysat his younger brothers, and Kellan taught me how to play Pokemon Snap in his living room. This was when he was in high school, obviously - he was a year older than me and I thought he was super nice. I basically lived at their house for a couple years.

24. Baths or showers?

Depends on what I want/need out of it. If it’s just “I want to get clean and maybe warm”, showers every time especially if there’s not a good deep tub available. If I want to soak to help my joints/muscles hurt less or if my spoons are low for standing, then baths.

My kingdom for either a LARGE tub with a separate shower that fits a shower chair, or one of those walk-in sitting tubs with a shower attachment.

28. What type of music do you like?

ALL KINDS. Seriously, I have yet to run into a type of music that I don’t like ANYTHING from that genre, though I’m pickier about some things like heavy metal or country. But I really like kind of. Indie Rock circa the early aughts? Not even rock, just like. Indie rock/pop/folk/country/whatever that weird thing that was going on like. Norah Jones, Ingrid Michaelson, Rilo Kiley, Neko Case, Sara Bareilles... idk there’s a similar through line to a lot of them? ...Maybe it’s just they’re all girls man idk XD But also Give Me Mountain Goats. I love The Mountain Goats.

I just like songs, generally. Fuck genre, often even fuck artist bc there are many artists who I only really listen to a couple of songs from and don’t really get into the other stuff they do.

Also filk. Seanan and Vixy & Tony and SJ Tucker and all sorts of fun fantasyish folk.

33. What do you typically have for breakfast?

I mean, often “nothing”, or “I grab some crackers or a boost shake to get me through until lunch”. I don’t actually like eating right after I’ve woken up? But sometimes I’ll have cereal or toast.

35. Have you ever tried archery?

*sobs into hands* OK so when we were living in Florida, my friend Dorian and I actually used to go to an archery class every week, and it was SO FUN. But then he got a new job and couldn’t do it anymore, and he was my ride and I tried going alone but it just wasn’t the same, but I did graduate to the intermediate class before I stopped going. I MISS IT SO FUCKING MUCH.

I’d really like to take it back up again, but I don’t have anywhere to practice or anything, so it’s difficult.

38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep?

I think 72 hours, if you don’t count 10 minutes of being conscious but just *grazing* the edges of sleep and then getting woken up again before I could actually sleep.

When the insomnia passed, I slept for like 16 hours straight with two quasi-conscious points when I went to pee.

46. What is your personality type?

Like, from a test or just in general? In general I think I’m a pretty optimistic but dreamy person. Creative, not great at motivation, prefer working alone or with one trusted partner I already know to groups, like my alone time, etc. I did take a couple personality tests to answer tho!:

(from here)

50. Left or right handed?

Right handed but I keep trying occasionally to cultivate left handedness in myself. Something I’ve been trying to do since I was like 11 (I never stick at it long enough for it to work, ftr) initially because I was deeply paranoid I would get leukemia and have to get my right arm amputated (I was a weird kid) and I wanted to not have to re-learn how to write while dealing with all that, but then moving forward just ‘cause it would be cool to be able to do, especially when like, I’m trying to do an essay test and my hand is cramping up.

67. Can you name all 50 states of America?

Well, I didn’t think so and i probably couldn’t do it without a map or a list of what I’ve already named, but I took a test and got 100% sooooo...

86. What are you allergic to?

Tylenol and cantaloupe! Also possibly aspirin. None of them like LIFE THREATENING but tylenol has increased in severity of symptoms every time I’ve taken it since I was little and the last time I tried I got a REALLY itchy throat and mouth and it felt like things were swollen and making breathing not DIFFICULT but at least very mildly obstructed, so it’s probably for the best not to take it again, y’know?

87. Do you keep a journal?

I don’t. I used to, when I was in high school I had like four thick journals that had like, those fancy cloth/beaded covers and handmade paper that was really popular for a while in the early aughts? Including one that had a leather wrap cover that was entirely in tengwar and cirith from Lord of the Rings - not from a website, but my own interpretation of the charts and linguistic information provided in the Lord of the Rings appendices. So that no one could read my diary.

I’ve lost the journals and the tengwar chart I’d made but I can more or less rebuild it with the variety of options you can find online, but it’s a sort of mishmash and I definitely didn’t stick to one language’s usage of certain letters, and I developed certain shorthand quirks - some of which were used by tolkien and some of which weren’t - that would make it very difficult to transcribe that journal even if you were working off the specific variant of the tengwar alphabet that I’d been using. I don’t think even I could do it anymore tbh, if I were to find that journal. In my defense, it’s been nearly 20 years since I kept it, so. XD

GET TO KNOW ME UNCOMFORTABLY WELL

#askbox meme #holy shit dude SO MANY QUESTIONS #the library alcove #audience with the gods

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shipmvns · 7 years

Text

Art School Assholes Of Hollywood Hills

hollywood hills is like probably innacurate but i just. i like alliteration? so? idk this title is shitty and so is this fic bc filler is hard all of the time. anyways this is based on the original concept of the show where jade was gonna be tori’s old friend instead of the nemesis. also this is gonna be a multichap so send me asks telling me what i should do w this shitty ass fic. if u dont like it dw i have a whole bunch of oneshots happening its fine

Pairing: Tori/Jade Words: 4,315 Summary: Nothing new is ever easy, and a performing art’s school is absolutely no exception. The closest thing Tori has to familiarity in this very new, very strange enviroment is, surprisingly enough, her best friend from nearly a decade ago- the one, the only, Jade West.

ALTERNATIVELY, READ IT ON AO3/LEAVE A COMMENT

The beginning of everything, like most things, starts with the sound of your older sister screaming. Somewhere far beyond the curtain up on stage, her whine rings true and is enough to draw everyone’s attention, as well as your parents back to where she is, swollen tongue and all, totally incapable of any kind of speech, let alone singing.

Or, otherwise, it starts in the blinding glow of stage lights, new bruises forming on your limbs after kicking and screaming your way through an entire team of talented teenagers trying to force you into the replacement of your older sister for something you don’t know how to do for a school you don’t attend. Standing in the middle of the stage, ragged breath choking out from your heaving chest, curtain sliding open as you stand there, mic in your hair, sure you’re gonna choke, providing enough material for Trina to torture you for months, and, oh, god, is this being recorded?

Or, if that’s too soon, then it’s in between screaming your own anxieties back and forth between students and teachers just behind the curtain after it should be all over and done with, until you see the parting seas of the moving curtains and Andre is calling out to an audience of parents that don’t really want to be there, asking them to reassure you, leaving you standing there, starstruck, mouth agape, watching applause wave through the audience telling you that you did something good.

Well, regardless of how it started, all of this- it certainly did, because why else would you be trailing along behind your sister as you entire the main hall of a foreign place, bottom lip firmly between your teeth, shoulders tense under the straps of your bag? God, you feel like a freshman all over again.

“Just don’t get lost,” Trina spins on her heels for a moment to address you. “That’s rule number one about this school.”

“I-I don’t know where any of my classes are,” You grip at the straps of your bag, rolling your eyes at your older sister.

“You have your schedule, right? With the room numbers?” She prompts you.

“Well, yeah, but I-” you start.

“Then you’re fine! Okay, good luck, don’t tell anybody you know me,” Trina waves you off as she takes off towards the east hall.

“But, Trina, wait-”

“Heyheyhey, rule number two, don’t acknowledge me while we’re at school, Tori,” She says, not turning back.

“I don’t know how to get to my classes!” You call back after her into an increasingly empty main hall.

“Bummer! Good luck with that!” Her voice echoes behind her, but she’s long gone, leaving you by yourself as the bell rings loud and clear above you.

You groan and throw your head back in defeat. Fantastic first impression, right? Being late to first period on your very first day, incredible. Does that get you a detention here? Who’s your teacher, even? You lay your bag down and start rummaging through it in hopes to find your schedule, when the door opens behind you.

“Hey, the bell rung yet?” A voice calls from behind you. You turn your head to face a girl with white and green streaks running through her hair, cup of coffee in hand, no backpack in sight, heavy eyeliner weighing on her lashes.

“Yes,” you huff dramatically, running a hand through your disheveled hair. Her eyebrows jump up slightly, but then she squints at you.

“I don’t know you,” she points at you with her free hand, “you don’t go here. Who’re you?” She questions.

With a sigh, you pull out your schedule, and stand up to face her. “Uh, Tori? I’m Tori Vega. I didn’t go here. Now I do. As of… today,” you motion around.

She pauses, eyes going wide. “Say that again,” she prompts.

“Uh, I didn’t go here-” you start.

“No, no, dude, what’s your name?” She halfheartedly conceals an eyeroll. Only your first encounter with a student, and it’s already going over your head.

“Tori Vega?” You try, wondering if that’s the wrong answer, somehow. That is your name. You’re… almost sure of it.

She smirks for a moment, then nods. “I’m Jade West,” she says expectantly, leaving you waiting.

Jade West. Jade West…The name sounds kind of familiar, you think, and- “Oh my God, Jade?” You question. What are the odds, huh? “It’s been a while,” you laugh lightly. Your immediate urge is to hug her, but you resist. It’s been since kindergarten, you’re practically strangers now, nothing but a ghost of a memory to one another. That leaves sparse room for physical interaction.

“If a while is ten years, then yeah, I guess,” she shrugs. “What’re you doing here, anyways?”

“I… sing now, I guess. Kind of a long story. Swollen tongues, crazy sisters, that kind of thing,” you say, as if any of that makes any vague amount of sense at all.

“By sister, you mean the one that put gum in my hair?” She asks, quirking an eyebrow (complete with a stud through it) and taking a long sip of her coffee.

“That’s the one. And she hasn’t changed since,” you laugh, and she joins you. “Anyways, a crowd full of adults and several teams of girls in strange costumes forced me to come here, and here I am, with absolutely no idea where first period is, and already, like, five minutes late,” you glance down at your schedule hopelessly.

She grabs it out of your hand and peers down at it. “Hey, Sikowitz, score!” She offers, glancing up at you.

“Sikowitz?”.

“Acting teacher. He’s your first hour. Mine too. Come with me.” Jade grabs you by the wrist and leads you down the twists of this brand-new alcove of a school.

“This place is huge,” you mumble under your breath.

“You get used to it,” she shrugs beside you, leading you deeper and deeper into the school, past many a poster and closed classroom door.

“How long have you been going here?”

“Since last year, ever since I got kicked out of that all girls prep school,” she chuckles like it’s a prized memory, and you fight the urge to ask how, exactly, she’d managed that.

“The one you went to in first grade, instead of Sherwood?” You ask her as you move past a group of kids doing choreography in the middle of the hallway. Weird school. One almost kicks you in the face and you let out a squeal as you move past him, further on down the hall.

“That’s the one. Dad was gonna make me go to another one, a boarding school, but I guess mom convinced him to let me go here, instead, so. Hollywood arts, one year strong,” she shrugs, sounding disinterested.

You kind of remember her mom- you’d always liked her. Her dad, not so much.

No sooner does silence fall than she’s stopping you in front of one of the many doors in the corridor. She promptly throws away her now empty coffee cup, then says, “hey, punch me in the stomach,” as if it’s some very nonchalant thing to ask of someone on a Tuesday morning.

“What- no!” You shake your head, confused. She rolls her eyes slightly, but doesn’t press. She starts breathing deeply, then puts one hand around your wrist, opens the door, and puts the other hand over her face.

“Late,” a man wearing clown pants that you can only assume is your teacher says, whipping around to face you, whiteboard marker in hand, like it’s some kind of threat.

“I-I’m sorry, it’s…” She says, choked up, as if she’s trying to hold back tears, hand still loosely over her mouth. You’re kind of concerned for a minute, before she says, “Tori’s sister… she… she ran over my dog. We were gonna take him to the vet, but…” Jade lets out a sob. Ooooh. Weird, weird school. You have to admit appreciate the efforts of trying to avoid getting scolded for being tardy, but this is… much.

“He was dead before we could even lift him up!” Jade exclaims, mascara running down her face. You kind of wonder if she gets the kind that isn’t waterproof just for effect. You pat her shoulder awkwardly, only for her to bury her face in your chest, still feigning some terrible grief. You blush slightly, rubbing her back and nodding halfheartedly.

“Jade, you don’t have a dog,” a girl with bright red hair says from her seat next to you. Jade hushes her viciously from behind her hand.

“It’s… tragic,” you nod solemnly. You think your performance might need a little work. Not that you came in especially prepared. All of the eyes are on you and a sobbing Jade.

“Miss West,” the teacher calls from the front of the class. Jade raises her head from your chest slightly to turn and look at him. “That was worthy of a C+, at best. The fake crying, admirable as it was, was a touch too dramatic,” he says, drawing out the syllables of ‘dramatic.’ “Follow up comment- if your dog really got run over in the middle of the street, even if it died almost immediately, you would be at least fifteen minutes late. You two are only-” he glances at his watch, “seven.”

So this is a school where people lie about dead dogs, then get graded on it by crazy men with whiteboard markers and colorful scarves. You suppose it’s a lot more interesting than your old school, at least?

“Bite me,” Jade snarls with a heavy roll of her eyes, taking a seat on the right side of the class. That is not how she talked to the teachers in kindergarten. (Okay, well, it kind of is, but her vocabulary was certainly less… colorful.)

“Oh, Jade, always delightful,” the teacher chimes, before turning to you. “And who is this lovely little gumdrop?” He approaches you. Weird school, man. Weird teacher, clown pants, kindergarten friends that have boobs now- weird school.

“Uh… Tori?” You offer. This whole ‘new-school’ thing requires a lot more repeating your name over and over than you’re comfortable with.

“Tori! From the showcase! Wonderful!” He claps giddily. “Any questions, ‘Uh, Tori?””

“Yeah, uh, will a C+ be my first grade in this class? ‘Cause I’d really hate for my GPA to go down just because Jade cries too dramatically,” you smirk, gesturing to Jade.

“Hey! I was trying to save your lost ass from getting marked late!” She defends, hands up in protest, but a small laugh gives her away. “No to mention your improv sucks.”

“That’s accurate, but I still take offense to it,” you huff, crossing your arms.

“You two know each other?” Andre asks, eyebrows raised from his seat in front of Jade. Andre’s in this class, right. You remember showing him your schedule last night, and him lining up the ones he had with you.

“Oh, yeah, this kid and me, we go way back to a full decade ago,” Jade snickers.

“It’s true. We really tore up Mrs. Patterson’s kindergarten class,” you agree, taking a seat in the general area of Jade and all of her friends, unsure of the etiquette or where one should sit in their first class at a new school which is shared with one’s friend from when one was five.

“I hated that bitch,” Jade shakes her head, snarl forming on her lips.

“Yeah, I remember,” you scoff, calling back to her many five-year-old revolutions against Mrs. Patterson and the alphabet.

“HEY! We don’t speak of it,” Jade says seriously, leaning forward in her seat until your faces are only inches away. You consider speaking, but no words come out as you’re trapped in her eyes. Ten years, but God, her eyes stayed the same, huh?

“Ooookay,” you laugh lightly, vocal chords finally coming to your rescue. She smiles, now satisfied, and pulls away.

“Aw, I wanna hear all the stories from when you were a little kid,” a boy on her right with some really great hair says. He then turns to you. “By the way, I’m Beck. It’s nice to meet you, Tori,” he smiles at you, holding out his hand, and you take it.

Before you can respond, your brand new crazy teacher is yelling at the front of the room about the importance of staying in character, so you do your best to turn around and pay attention for the duration of your very first class.

By the time the sun has come to a full rise outside of the window, the class is over, and you’re tugging the wrinkled class schedule given to you only yesterday out of your shirt pocket, squinting at the class numbers once again as kids start clearing out around you.

“Lemme see,” Jade comes up behind you and takes it out of your hands. She looks down at it for a moment, then nods. “Ah, poor kid, you’ve got Wells for History,” she shakes her head with a small smirk. “He’ll chew you up and eat you alive,” she puts a hand on your shoulder. “Don’t be late. Seriously. He’ll kill you, Tori,” she laughs, like it’s funny or something.

“I don’t know where he is!” You tell her with exasperation.

She sighs for a moment, the holds the schedule up against the wall, scribbling something down on it. “It’s down this hallway, on your left. Look for the number, it’s easy to find. Only door with nothing decorative on it, actually. If you get really lost or something, text me,” she says, final sigh escaping her lips, like it’s some big burden, but the irritation feels exaggerated.

“Oh. Thanks,” you nod slowly, watching her leave with a small wave.

You guess maybe you stand there for a beat too long or something, because by the time it occurs to you to move, Sikowitz is telling you that you better leave before you’re late to two classes in a row. You blush, but exit, and believe it or not, you actually do find your way to class in time, with roughly two and a half seconds to spare.

The teacher doesn’t actually bother to have you introduce yourself, but he does call your name during attendance, so at least you know you’re in the system, or whatever. He starts talking, but it’s on something Sherwood covered last week, and you even got a B on the quiz, so you figure that’s enough to give you a quick daydreaming pass. Mostly, all that’s on your mind is Jade- along with how bizarre your whole situation is, suddenly being thrust into this world of fast paced talent.

Primarily, though, your mind lingers on your former friend- she sure doesn’t have bangs or baby teeth anymore. And the dyed hair, oh man. Awfully hard to picture your five-year-old friend all grown up- or, well, something near it- but you’d be lying if you said she didn’t grow up awfully well. You wonder if she thinks the same thing about you.

It’s weird, seeing her after so long like that. You remembered her, but you never actually thought you’d see her again. Today’s full of a lot of new things, huh? Well, at the very least you can say that you’re kind of glad you came to this school, after all.

You spend the next two hours wandering through the halls from class to class with an eager repetition of your name, your sisters name, and the willful confirmation that no, you aren’t anything like her, and yes, she is like that at home, too. Up until lunch, all you have is the academic classes, but to your credit, you do have third period biology with Andre, and Jade’s friend- Beck?

That makes it a little easier to fare through, but after fifty-five minutes of anatomy talk, you’re sent reeling back into an unfamiliar world to fourth period English, which you have alone. It seems to drag on forever- you’ve never loved Steinbeck. You doubt any teenager really does.

Like all things good and bad, though, fourth period comes to an end, the chime of a bell and the rush of a crowd of rowdy teenagers the dead giveaway that lunch is this hour. You manage to let the sea of moving bodies guide you to the outdoor area where kids are sat talking and eating, and, spare a sharp elbow directly into your ribs, you make it out alright.

You take a tentative step forward, gazing around the area. Some kids are preforming in the parking lot, amazing choreography that makes your head spin and reminds you that you probably don’t deserve to be here, all the while you can hear singing coming from the awning above you that’s almost definitely way better than yours will ever be.

You shake your head, roll your eyes, and tighten your grip on your backpack strap. Whatever, that’s stupid, and you’re hungry, and you don’t know where to sit. You doubt your sister will let you within fifteen feet of her- high school restraining order, as if you’re some big deficit to her popularity.

You could sit with Jade- no, wait, would that be weird? Just because you were friends when you were five doesn’t mean you’re friends now. She probably has lots of friends now, and you’re definitely not a part of that crowd- you just got here. Her showing you the common courtesy of telling you where your class is doesn’t mean you’re suddenly best friends or anything, dumbass.

Well, Andre is always an option. If you could ever manage to find him. There are too many people in this school, dammit! Ugh, you’ll just have to-

“Hey, Tori,” Andre puts a hand on your shoulder, leading you with him to a table. Or that. That works. How convenient. Maybe this school isn’t all bad or anything.

“Hi,” you mutter, taking a seat at the table he’s led you to as a group forms around you. Andre, Beck, Jade, a kid with a puppet, and the red haired girl that Jade shushed in your first class today. You really, really don’t wanna know about the puppet.

“Hi, I’m Tori,” you tell the two kids you don’t know the names of yet. You glance around- strange group of kids. You kind of wonder how they all became friends. When you pictured Jade’s friend group, this is definitely not exactly what you’d been expecting.

The boy with the puppet manages to choke out that his name is Robbie, and then he starts speaking through the puppet, apparently named Rex, but you try to remind yourself that this isn’t a regular school as you do breathing exercises in your head to deal with being hit on by a ventriloquist’s dummy, wondering if this is all some kind of dream.

The girl next to him introduces herself as Cat with a soft voice and an excitable attitude, and you just kind of take that at face value as she tugs some licorice out of her bra and begins to eat it for lunch. Okay. All right.

“So, how’s Hollywood Art’s newest addition liking our wonderful little school so far?” Jade drawls, eyebrows raised with a smile forming on her lips.

“It’s…” you search to find the right words that won’t come out rude. “It sure is something,” you laugh, shaking your head. You aren’t wrong.

“Yeah, that pretty much sums it up,” Beck says, content with your final decision.

“What class you got next?” Jade asks, holding out her hand across the table, asking for your schedule. You hand it over compliantly, figuring she probably knows it better than you.

“Oh, cool. Songwriting next, Andre and I have that, too,” she nods, handing it back to you.

“It’s the best class, objectively,” Andre says, then pauses. “I’ve never been sure exactly what that word means. You get the point. It’s fun, you’ll like it. You’ll fit right in,” he tells you. You’re not sure if that’s true- you haven’t felt like you’ve been doing much fitting in the last few hours. Everything feels big and extravagant and beyond you. The only thing remotely familiar is… well, Jade.

Even so, you try and stay focused on what everyone is saying about some school function going on this Friday, but lunch passes much faster than you’d like for it to. That’s something Sherwood and Hollywood Arts has in common, you suppose, because before you know it, it’s fifth hour, and You’re sitting in between Andre and Jade as the cool young teacher announces that the class has a songwriting project coming up, and you’ll be in partnerships. He doesn’t give details, just requests that everyone pairs off in their partnerships and sign up now.

Partners. All right. Upon the teachers silence, the room erupts in boisterous noise, and Andre, to your right, has already left. Meanwhile, though, to your relief, Jade turns to you. “You can be my partner. I’ll show you what to do,” she tells you, as if it’s some very gracious gift, but you’d have to admit that you are a little grateful. The worst part of any partner activity is standing awkwardly, wavering in the air as everyone else pairs off in front of you. That’s not a problem you’re used to having- you had a lot of friends at your old school, and you’re pretty good at making them, but… partner work on your first day at a new school has a very clear pathway to becoming very cruel.

You nod, and tell Jade that you’ll go and sign up on the teacher’s sheet. She simply nods, and you leave her there, entering the growing line of teenagers. Andre sneaks up to your side and makes a cut in the line, greeting you.

“You don’t mind, do you?” He gestures to himself as he nestles into his spot in front of you in line.

“Nah, it’s fine. Long line,” you laugh. He grins in response.

“Sorry I left so fast, but I’d already promised my friend that next project, I’d do it with him. Who’re you with, anyways?” He explains apologetically.

“Oh, me and Jade are gonna do it together. She said she’d ‘show me what to do,’” you chuckle.

“So, you and Jade, you were real close, huh?” He raises an eyebrow at you, then glances over at Jade, still sat in her seat, neck craned back to the ceiling.

You shrug. “We were five. I mean, I guess. We played together a lot after school,” you offer. “Why?”

“Man, I’ve never seen Jade be that nice to anybody. Not even Beck. It’s not how she is. ‘S weird,” he shakes his head. “I mean, she can be a real you-know-what sometimes, but with you? Nothin’ but helpful. Never seen anything like it.”

You pause for a minute. What do you say to that, huh? You consider asking about Beck, but then then Andre is turning around to write down his name and his partners on the sheet, and without saying any more, he goes back to the other end of the class. Well, that certainly gives you something to think about, you guess.

After fifth period, you have math, to which you are three minutes late. You end up having to text Jade, but she has a really hard time figuring out where you even are based on your description, and then she stops texting you at all, leaving you to figure it out on your own. Eventually, you do manage to find your way to room 204, but not without a strongly worded lecture on the importance of punctuality, before you explain that it’s your very first day. On the upside, you have that class Robbie, and he seems pretty smart, and relatively nice, (if a little odd,) so you figure if you get stuck on any problems, maybe he could give you a hand.

Sixth period, you have French, with Jade (and Cat). Jade, fuming, tells you that her phone got taken away last hour. That entire hour she’s full of venting and empty threats to her asshole fifth hour teacher, and it really brings a brand-new meaning to the expression ‘pardon my French.’

The rest of the day drags by, but eventually, the final bell rings, and though Trina tries, she does not manage to leave without you. When you get home, you collapse on the couch with a grateful sigh as your sister storms up to her room, leaving you and your mom alone in the living room.

“Long day?” Your mother questions. You give a nod as you position your legs onto the back of the couch, hair cascading down to the floor. “Good day, though? Was it fun?”

“Yeah, I think it was mostly fun,” you tell her, letting your eyes unfocus.

“Do you feel talented? Is it exciting? Did you make any friends?” She presses, nudging at your shoulder with her shoe.

“Talented, debatable. Exciting, a little nerve-wracking. I have a few classes with Andre. Oh, and, hey! Do you remember that girl I was, like, best friends with when I was, like, five?” You ask, craning your head to look at her.

“Jade? Yeah, of course, why?” She says, almost immediately. Kind of impressive.

“She goes there, too. She and Andre are friends, I think,” You tell her. She continues to ask you her very mom questions, telling you how much she liked Jade’s mom and asking you about how you’re liking the school, but mostly you’re not paying attention. Mostly you’re just thinking about school.

You’re not one to really judge based on first impressions, but if your first day at Hollywood Arts is anything to go by, then you’re half inclined to think that maybe things will be good here.

#jori #jade west #tori vega #gray writes #i like barelllly proofread this and its shitty anyways but like im dead im dyin #lowkey? ill regret thisss

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icharchivist · 7 years

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huh..... so I think my wisedom teeth are actually pushing and settling in?

I’m 22 and never got a surgery against it - it was never really the time (late teen we had a lot of financial issues after the divorce and I wasn’t covered by the insurance because of administration reasons (i basically disappeared from the files for a few years oops because administration sucks and my family situation sucks) - took until my 20yo or something to get back and then i always pushed it... away... far away...)

My mom never had her teeth removed so she thought that maybe i inherited her genes and she never actually bothered thinking it might be important. My sister had hers removed when she was a teen, and well, my dad never adressed it and it’s not like he could anyway.

But ye - we never actually did anything about it. Sometimes my gums could be a little swollen, but it was nothing bad?? I was wondering if it might be that but my parents kept repeating “if your wisedom teeth are pushing you’d be in an unbearable pain, you wouldn’t be trying to know if it’s happening”

and like, at worse it was midly uncomfortable and it hurt if the swollen gum would enter in contact with the pointy teeth underneath or on top, but otherwise it was perfectly manageable.

But like, like i always told my parents, I have no real understanding of pain??? I always kinda always “dealt” with pain without addressing it, in any circumstances, I always went through with sickness without exactly caring because it was an inconveignance for everyone and I should stop whining - and that’s how i ended up with a deadly skin disease that I was so late to actually see a doctor for that she told me that she was close to get me hospitalized, and I legit did bear for months while I had my skin being torn apart on my breasts all the time. I didn’t talk about it for months because I thought it was manageable, Istg i was yelled at at the doctor because it wasn’t normal anyone could have let it go this far with the amount of pain, especially in such a sensible aera.

And more recently that’s also how I ended up getting my stomach problems, that again I took a long time to adress. Hell, it’s even funny for my eczema bc mine is painful af, but i have it for so long and i was always told it was nothing that I managed around and can handle the pain, and one day my parents got a violent eczema and they were suffering so bad they thought it couldn’t be eczema bc I wasn’t suffering like they did. While turns out, they had a less-bad version of what I have.

So like??? Idk maybe swollen gum was my indication that “hey it’s supposed to hurt” but since everyone was telling me that unless i really suffer there’s no way that it would be actually pushing yada yada yada

And rn the gums are swollen again which, again, no big deal, until i realized that there was a tooth pushing through one part of the gum.

That’s so damn unreal, it’s mostly covered by the gum, but there’s like a pointy edge of a tooth that got out of the gum on the outside part of my jaw??? That’s so unreal???

now i don’t exactly know what I’m supposed to do, i hadn’t seen a dentist in forever. Not sure my current insurance would cover it completely either and we’re still having money issues so i would rather... limit those. (especially since lately we spent a lot of money on stuff for my mental health that weren’t covered by the insurance.)

And like?? it’s not painful at all?? My step dad says i’m bullshitting and I showed my mom (and after that my step dad did as if i wasn’t in the room to not admit he was wrong) - and mom told me that it looked like I had enough place for the teeth to settle in without surgery, but it seems weird to me somehow? idk if i should trust her.

But again it really doesn’t hurt.

Bleh and it’s making me bleh to think about because I already have a shittons of gorey nightmares linked to removing teeth and jaw (like... really disturbing gorey almost-too-real nightmares) so it’s not exactly something I want to think about to start with.

*takes a huge inspiration* and that’s another thing i’m adding to “things that should have been settled when i was a teen but since i didn’t have a normal fucking childhood/teenage-hood, now i have to deal with the consequences of everything that went undealt with because “we’ll see later”.”. And it’s also adding to the list of ways my parents have somehow fucked up with me, and the list was already goddamn long.

Not only I had a hell of a teenage years but now it’s like my whole life is shaped around how everything went wrong and it keeps going wrong, and then i wonder why i don’t feel okay nor happy.

Bleeeh I shouldn’t get depressed over fucking teeth.

I’ll see how it’ll feel tomorrow, if it gets worse i’ll consider seeing a doctor or something.

#bleeehh gross gross groos #physical health issues under the cut #don't think i got too graphic but it's still gross in general #anyway i love my life and i love how easy everyone made it for me to get to that point in life /sarcasm #ichapersonal

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jackielanternart · 8 years

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I heard somewhere someone say “Loki deserved every bad thing that ever happened to him.”

I overanalyze a lot of stuff because I have too much free time. I understand in the whole Smite system you can easily hate a character after too many bs back-stabs. But heck it. I’m bored and depressed.

“Loki deserved it”

-He was generally disliked for his nature. Annoying by default. Scummy disposition. - Got a lot of crap for being a Jötunn among Aesir. (Although the Aesir often accepted others into their halls. Like Skadi who was also a Jötunn; Freya, her brother Freyr, and their father were Vanir.)

- After a discourse with some dwarves he had his mouth sewn shut. - He ended up fixing most of the problems he caused, and even some he didn’t cause. - Saved everyone’s butts many times. - It’s kinda sad when you think about it because he was close with the Aesir gods but as the stories go on and destiny unravels it all just falls apart to everyone’s doom. - Because of the destiny foretold to Odin, Odin basically stormed in on Loki and his wife (the giantess Angrboda) and was like “Surprise dude, I’m gonna exile your son, daughter, and imprison your other son Because the dude in the well told me they are dangerous.” From the standpoint of a parent, I would be salty too.

-Then here’s the thing with the punishment after killing Baldr. The Smite lore says Loki was imprisoned and tied down with entrails with a snake placed over his head that would drip venom into his eyes. His wife, Sigyn would sit by him and collect the venom in a bowl. But when the bowl was full, she had to leave to empty it out. Then the venom would hit him in the eyes and cause him to convulse so bad there would be earthquakes.

Here is what the smite lore doesn’t tell you:

Those entrails belonged to one of his sons.

Loki and Sigyn had two boys. Narfi and Vali. When Loki was taken to the cave, Odin had the two boys brought inside too. Vali was then turned into a mindless wolf and was allowed to kill his brother Narfi. In front of Loki. They took the bowels of Narfi and used them to bind Loki to the rocks, while the wolf Vali was turned loose to the wilds. That snake placed over Loki’s head? Was put there by Skadi herself. If seeing g your children murdered Infront of you and being tied with their organs wasn’t enough, imagine that kind of betrayal fro.people you considered family? Was it justified? He did murder Baldr. Odin’s son. So was it justified? It’s up to you. The venom would drop right into his eyes. idk if you ever were poisoned or felt venom…But I looked up the bite of a European adder. Their toxicity isn’t very high, but the after issues are horrible. Immediate and intense pain my start but then lead to bruising and swelling .

“ Local symptoms include immediate and intense pain, followed after a few minutes ( Local symptoms include immediate and intense pain, followed after a few minutes (but perhaps by as much as 30 minutes) by swelling and a tingling sensation. Blisters containing blood are not common. The pain may spread within a few hours, along with tenderness and inflammation. Reddish lymphangitic lines and bruising may appear, and the whole limb can become swollen and bruised within 24 hours. Swelling may also spread to the trunk, and with children, throughout the entire body. Necrosis and intracompartmental syndromes are very rare.

Systemic symptoms resulting from anaphylaxis can be dramatic. These may appear within 5 minutes post bite, or can be delayed for many hours. Such symptoms include nausea, retching and vomiting, abdominal colic and diarrhoea, incontinence of urine and faeces, sweating, fever, vasoconstriction, tachycardia, lightheadedness, loss of consciousness, blindness,shock, angioedema of the face, lips, gums, tongue, throat and epiglottis, urticaria and bronchospasm. If left untreated, these symptoms may persist or fluctuate for up to 48 hours.in severe cases, cardiovascular failure may occur.” -. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vipera_berus What? Did you think all those black markings around his face was edgy makeup? Now imagine having that tripping into your eyes….Over and over and over for centuries and centuries. Imagine your children dead a d tying you to this for an endless amount of time your grieving wife sitting there trying to keep the Poison out. There has to be a point to where you think a about all the things you ever did and wonder if it were worth this. And then you snap. And you realize Ragnarok isnt ….TOO crazy of an idea after all.

“But he deserved it”

All I gotta say is, you messed with a daddy-s little children. The youth were loved. They took a father’s children, cast them out, stripped them away from their father, imprisoned and exciled them. Then murdered two of his boys to use them in a binding ritual. Where Loki had lots more than time to think back on everything and decide “You know what…. Ragnarok sounds pretty fun after all….”

Buts all still up for debate. It’s just when I see people saying “he deserved it, this is what I think about. Had it been me. Had it been my children. I would harbor the end of the world too.

#smite game #smite #smite loki #norse mythology

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