#and my depressed rbs are so cute
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may i ask why did you move to new account?
Since I created my former blog when I was 13 and now I’m 22, I find my old posts quite childish. Even though I tried to delete them going through more than 10k posts felt overwhelming. So starting a brand-new blog seemed like the easier option.
#omg it's the first q of this blog#🌙.txt#thank god that i was really shy as a teen so i haven't embarrased myself#reblogging edgy posts enough#and my depressed rbs are so cute#lil bro didn't knew it was because of hormones and stuff
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Haha, idiot. That's what you get for having human emotions :'((((
And a closer shot on this one cause I LIKE THEM TREES!
#kamen rider#kamen rider blade#aikawa hajime#kenzaki kazuma#fan art#comic#hajime with the banger lines always....#This scene with him and Jin and the one with the spider lilies in my heart forever#killer line on first watch... absolutely BRUTAL thing to revisit on the next ones lmao#first watch i thought about how he probably saw what grief physically looked like from haruka and amane.#observing but maybe not understanding...#second watch was like 'ohhhh brace for impact buddy....'#local heart themed knucklehead painstakingly learns about human emotions to immediately have his stamped into the ground lol#blade was NOT the thing to rewatch while drawing cause now i'm depressed AND distracted lmao!#i'm in so much pain agh#oh yeah and...#blade spoilers#kamen rider blade spoilers#for SURE#scrolling format is kinda fun... but also a pain in the ass lmao#also.... hajime's cute little heart ring rb if you agree
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the cards are saying death & i'm hoping well ✨️🔮
#i was gonna use a line from luck in love but i just pulled death in my reading yesterday so this felt more appropriate#anyway i'm back to being depressed bc desmond named his son Charlie and it made me cry and that reminded me that i'm sad so we're back#i did get a lot done today so far tho <3 it's mostly just sewing i need to finish which i can knock out if i lock in#me#bi girls#cute girls#soft girls#babygirl#curvy girls#baby#cute#brat#ok to rb
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Tbh, can't believe I'm cutting ties with Fnaf before Batim.
#em.txt#negative#all thr fnaf stuff that's come outta my rbs since the anniversary have just been queued. my queue is huge it takes a bit#anyways#bendy has given me pounds of grief & a lot of it is my fault for like. falling in love with a proof lf concept#& not waiting for the game to come out in full & rushing in to each chapter looking for hints#to a conclusion i made up in my mind & was never ever coming. the ending to game one is quite trash#& while the sequel tries to make the ending in 1 worthwhile it's too little too late#because while a sequel can recontectualize its prequel it cannot erase how it was when it first was released#yeah so like. i figured between how shit the studio heads were & how I didn't like the first game ot the second game#or really the spinoff which i played i am like the only bendy fan i know that played that thing#& I'm not like. super stoked for any of the 3 games they teased in secrets of the machine#which i think is fine btw secrets of the machine is okay but i refuse to judge it as a game because it's an advertisement#i think some of the secrets in that game like the poster one are stupid but most of it is fine kinda cool. glad they got to reuse#all those assets from previous games & also cameo the car from the mobile game#ANYWAYS i figured all this would pile up to mean i would cut off batim. but I haven't. when the next games come out i will#probably at least check out a playthrough maybe play them myself if they seem interesting#meanwhile. like. the fnaf 10th anniversary happened#they dropped a sequel to help wanted. they dropped 2 more fnaf games. & I don't give a shiiiiittt#i woke up the day after the anniversary & realized like. I don't like the games. I don't give a fuck about the books.#the movie has practical effects & was cute but nothing i will think about deeply. the lore is a industrial sized dumpster fire#I don't like the community i only play ONE fan game & i just don't care about this series that used to eat my brain whole on the daily#so i gave it a month. maybe this was just a depressive spike. but no it seems like something shifted in my brain permanently#I don't like fnaf anymore which sucks#but what sucks more is i still like this other piece of shit that has easily given me worse times
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oc hcs<333
hi hii!!!! bc its pride month id decied to post hcs about one of my fav ocs!!! her name is ruby ophelia and i... like her a lot:3
if you got any questions send me and ask!!! i will prob add more to this later lol, rbs are always appreciated but not necessary<3
(also!! tw for mentions of death, abuse, and implied suicide)
ty for reading!!!
Black transfem lesbian
Implied that shes traumatized from her early childhood
Growing up, her family consisted of her and her mother, and later on a dog
She has always dressed frilly and feminine, even as a kid, so it wasnt that much of a shock to discover she was trans
Gets her whole knowledge of romance from reading unrealistic romance novels in her teen years(this has a mild impact on her current love life)
Loves loves LOVES! Women that are taller than her, she prefers her partner to be a bit more,,,,, bold? If that makes sense…?
Cuts her own bangs like… twice a month
Can't stand wearing glasses but doesn't like the feeling of contacts, so she usually switches between them
Hates how long it takes to shave so she just…. Doesn't. Razor burn is her mortal enemy tbh
Is sorta autistic coded in the sense that if you flirt with her, she wont understand unless it's painfully obvious
Really tiny feet
very short……. Like 5’4 short
Was almost 19 when she died, much to her dismay, she had spent a lot of her time prior to her death being depressed.
Likes baking,,,, cookies in particular
Overthinker fr
Would love to wear heels but her feet hurt+ she always falls over
Prefers tea over coffee bc caffeine makes her nervous
When she died, she decided to change her life for the better and tries to be a nicer person (she already was before, this was just more oriented towards herself now)
Is big into gardening, but never has the energy to start other than a few house plants
The circumstances surrounding her death are kinda unclear, because she doesn't remember it that well…
^^ like all she knows is that her ex killed her and that she has scars on her wrists(this is not true)
She came this conclusion bc her ex was abusive and manipulative to her
So that's something she would do…. Right?
Nap enjoyer
Like shed sleep 34 hours a day if she could
Is surprised when the LITERAL PERSONIFICATION OF DEATH falls in love with her, like,,,,, she's just some girl and they kill ppl
Death is kinda cute tho so its okie:3<< thoughts in rubys brain
#ocs#iaans oc tag<3#queer writers#writeblr#oc posting#lmk if you wanna see more of this cuz i feel motivated idk why lol
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😭Why am I crying in the club rn?😭
Listed by author in alphabetical order cause I'm an organized bitch, here are the fics that made me Sit And Think™️ (or cry) in 2023, or
✨ my top 5 gut wrenching authors selection ✨
featuring @atinylittlepain @cherubispunk @macfrog @netherfeildren and @5oh5 🤍🤍🤍
Everyone knows I love angst, I love terrible gut wrenching pain and suffering and then I love it when my tears are drying on my cheeks and they fuck nasty, hell yeah 😎
So if you're like me, here are some recommendations!!
💙 @atinylittlepain
Deliver Me From Nowhere
Read the whole thing in one night and cried repeatedly during. I had it looming in the back of my mind for weeks but didn't feel like I was in the right headspace until I suddenly was, and it hit differently. I love Dolores, I love Joel, I love how he sees her, their dynamic, the exploration of her emotions and headspace, her body language. Fantastic. Want to cry just thinking about it so I'm gonna STOP.
June
Sat and stared at the wall for a long time after this one, then worked up the courage to post TMWH which I seriously don't think I would've had the guts to post had it not been for June. I love how it handles a sensitive, painful, and very real subject, I love that it doesn't paint Joel as a fixer or savior but rather a realistic, kind partner. Again, his understanding of her and how he makes space for her is something I appreciate so much in DMFN and June.
💗 @cherubispunk
Cherub
This one is an excruciating Sit And Think - I didn't cry but I sat there paralyzed for 48 hrs with a thousand yard stare, just thinking intensely about it, after my second read through. Two chapters and I'm already messed tf up over it!! I read them in the middle of the night and then during the day and I have never been this messed up over something labeled PWP before. The passion, the ominous vibes, Cherub being so soft and Joel having this strange dark vibe... I literally just thought about it constantly for two days and I still can't fully put my finger on why. It just slithered into my brain and I still think about it often and go back to read bits and pieces like a little treat.
💚 @macfrog
All Three Dogs
Max posted this on my most depressed day of 2023 so like fuck you ??? I'm sorry like this is phenomenally written and stunning but like what the fuck is wrong with u i'm not even giving u any more compliments on this one bruv sorry you made me like a DBF series and that's a mortal sin so YOU'RE DONE !!! Fucking dead mackerel eyes speak into the mic bitch chicago sunroof 1 after magna carta i am not crazy squat cobbler jesus christ marie lookin ass
Sweet Child O' Mine - particularly pt ii
This one is so cute and yet it hurts so much. It's so real, the MC is so... I don't even know what to say, she's so on her own and she seems so kind and selfless and it just hurts to think about her cause you can feel her love for her child and for Joel and ugh. She tries so hard to be the best person she can be for everyone and it's one of those situations where nobody is doing anything wrong and yet everyone either is already hurt or gonna get hurt, and I think it's that oscillation between love and hurt that really gets me. I also read this in the middle of the night and all I had to say in my RB was like "thanks for making me cry asshole" (I'm known for my profound commentary).
💜 @netherfeildren
Fear of God - particularly the epilogue
Fear of God is my all-time fav Joel series, the best Joel characterization I've come across and it generally set the tone for my taste in fic. It was the second series I started reading on here when I came back to Tumblr, and it's the first piece of writing that has ever truly moved me. His character arc is absolutely INSANE !! I made the mistake of reading the epilogue while listening to Ocean Eyes by Billie Eilish, and for months I couldn't listen to it without crying. The day before my graduation, I kept listening to it on repeat in some strange form of self-torture and I had to explain to my bf why I was sobbing. Try to explain all of FoG in a coherent way through tears, I dare u ! I can't say much without spoiling but basically when I think back on getting into fanfic, FoG is what marks the beginning for me and I will never ever forget this piece of writing ever in my life. (Shoutout to when I got caught getting a nut off to one of the FoG extras - I can't really talk about the series without mentioning that)
The Cassandra Complex - particularly ch I, ch IV, and ch VIII
I didn't give much of a fuck about Din before TCC cause i saw him as like a taller hotter R2D2 and now here I am... Eating my words like a ration pack. I have to do a big girthy throbbing TCC reblog cause I have a lot to say about my fav series in the world but basically I can't read ch 4 without crying and even though this is a Star Wars fic and it makes no sense for me to relate to it the most out of anything on Vic's ML, sith girly is the most relatable MC thanks to her constantly feeling haunted by her past, feeling like she's hiding, feeling unworthy, torpedoing herself, and seeing so much beauty in others but struggling to see it in herself. I'll save the rest of my thoughts for the big RB but basically I've even cried at the fucking SMUT in this series like I'm on another planet when I read it (haha get it?? cause Star Wars??)
🧡 @5oh5
From Eden
Staring At The Wall Saturdays again - I hate how much I see my younger self in little sunflower girlie, I hate that I recognize how trapped she feels in her marriage. It's such an accurate portrayal of feeling chained to a man who doesn't deserve you, and of how guilty you feel for not even acting on feelings for someone else yet but just recognizing within yourself that you deserve better, like that pain of accepting that you're not treated right and that visceral feeling of unfairness that comes with being in the wrong relationship. The guilt you feel for even just thinking it, you know? And having to recognize how you've been treated. Ugh. Also this Joel is... His mannerisms are... I.... I'll be right back-
And now, for the most important award ever. The winner of
🏆Biggest Chloe Tear Jerker 2023🏆 is...
🎉 @netherfeildren 🎉 and this is her 24/7
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So we know Isadora & Duncan Quagmire are named after the dancer Isadoda Duncan because she died tragically; but she also had a pretty unfortunate life. Let me just summarize some of her story for you:
- her father, Joseph Charles Duncan, embezzling funds, leading to
- divorce of her parents, (well, also the fact that Joseph wasn't faithful) which lead to
- the family being in poverty (side point, there were three siblings, like the three siblings in most of the VFD families)
- Joseph and his third wife (sketchy) and his daughter with said wife DYING IN A BOAT ACCIDENT WHEN IT CRASHED INTO ROCKS UNDER MYSTERIOUS CIRCUMSTANCES (???!!!!) and is considered the "greatest disaster in the history of the Atlantic Transport Line to date". Oh and here's a picture of the MASS GRAVE
Wow okay anyway
- this isn't exactly "unfortunate" but she dropped out of school at 10
- she worked with Augustin Daly's theater but didn't enjoy it due to her free-spirited nature, and was thoroughly unhappy in America
- she moved to London (which is an unfortunate event alone) and was quite successful (girl's getting a break) but she didn't like touring or contracts because of the commercialism
- therefore she opens a school in Germany to teach dance, adopts six girls (good for her ig) and calls them the "Isadorables" (WHAT) and also they're her protégés; cute but then she tries opening a school but it closes due to WORLD WAR I
- moves to the United States but she plans to leave, narrowly avoids dying at sea like her dad (ok I'm not kidding; she was going to go on the RMS Lusitania, which was TORPEDOED BY THE GERMANS AND HELPED LEAD AMERICA INTO THE WAR, this is all very ironic because she considered the sea inspiration for her dancing)
- she ended up moving to SOVIET RUSSIA which was not smart bc they didn't support her work like they promised. She had established a school so she left it to one of her daughters/protégés/Isadorables
- oh, somewhere during all this, she has three biological children to three different husbands - THE FIRST TWO PROCEEDED TO DROWN (drown???? Oh my gosh this is a pattern) because their nanny accidentally (?) drove her car into the RIVER SEINE.
-with the first two children dead, Isadora is so desperate for another that she BEGS A STRANGER to get her pregnant. This baby also DIES shortly after birth
- marries a poet, then divorces him soon after (this poet btw, Sergei Yesenin, had a bunch of affairs, got arrested a bunch of times, was accused of anti-semetism, and then committed suicide-by-hanging in a hotel room. Wild.)
- okay so at this point Isadora's going through serious depression. Her three biological children are dead and she feels like she's lost some of the Isadorables to old men, and so her performances are getting more scarce.
- her reputation is tarnished by being drunk in public, her financial struggles, and her now-scandalous love life. She spends the years working on her autobiography (which only gets published posthumously) supported by her few remaining friends and family
- here's the part you've all been waiting for: Isadora Duncan dies on September 14, 1927 at the age of 50. Her silk scarf gets caught in the wheel of the automobile she was riding in, right in front of the person who had given the scarf to her as a gift. Apparently, she was flung out out of the window and died on brutal impact with the ground, almost decapitated by the scarf.
On that note, thanks for reading so far!! Please note that all of this is sourced from her Wikipedia page as well as a few other Wikipedia pages. Here's a picture of her:
Rb if you read to the end ig
#a series of unfortunate events#asoue#averse#lemony snicket#the quagmire triplets#the quagmires#duncan quagmire#isadora quagmire#isadora duncan#dancing#daniel handler#dancer
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Character thang: mithrun! And falin:3 if u want
GRINS just doing mithrun for now might rb this later and add on falin thoughts....
favorite thing about them
honestly just his whole arc being a pretty blatant abuse/depression metaphor combined with like. some of the most realistic disabled writing ive seen in fantasy. like i remember reading dunmeshi for the first time and pogging about seeing a character with ptosis because i NEVER see that shit outside of my own ocs and also some of the stuff discussed about him like. having a weird sense of direction (which is partially bc of dungeon lord business but also iirc he is stated to have weird walking/gesture patterns so!) and not really being aware of his own energy or triggers.... like it hits very close to home for me as a chronically fatigued guy with bad balance and bad eyesight and its just really nice to see someone like me portrayed in like. a way which doesnt exaggerate mithrun's disability as laughable or tragic in a very unsympathetic way. like the way the canaries accommodate him and the way his arc finishes up (+ the little chats he has with marcille....) i think its very sweet very comforting. ive just been very into him recently after like. coming to terms with being abused by an ex and going through the whole rollercoaster of emotions that comes with that. like. ughhh. i saw this thread recently and it keeps swimming around in my mind. its good
least favorite thing about them
i guess like the dude's bigotry but considering other chapters in the adventurer's bibble he seems to be self aware of it? its kind of an unexplored facet of him altogether.... and at the same time i think it informs a lot of like. the inherent supremacist ideas elf culture harbors.
favorite line
brOTP
reiterating what i said when i answered these qs with kabru. i think they both have a very funny dynamic that i wouldnt even necessarily describe as platonic or friendly theyre just very good inverse masks of one another.... makes for entertaining scenes in a way i really respect
also as i mentioned i think him and marcille getting to know one another post-story and talking out dungeon lord feelings is nice....
OTP
i think he has more important things to worry about
nOTP
him and kabru. as i said i think its funnier if theyre just two blokes forced to talk to each other. they wouldve never conversed willingly and that makes so many of their discussions interesting....
random headcanon
i think im just too picky about the anime LOL but im not too fond of the voice hes been given based on the previews. they did that breathy anime twink shit to him. i think he sounds like he smokes 20 cigarettes a day personally
unpopular opinion
i think the fact i dont like yaoi with him in it is unpopular enough i feel. oh uh i also think like. the few scenes where he shows off like. genuine bursts of aggression and violence are really fucking interesting and everyones far too keen on dismissing him as like. A Numb Mindless Boytoy like hey. think about this dude for a second as like an individual please.
song i associate with them
SIGH i have so much to say about this one. thats for another day though
favorite picture of them
sketches here are forever lodged in my mind theyre cutes. i like his shitty little ponytail here LOL
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(disclaimer i havent seen or read rwrb) heartstopper is a bit cringe but tbh i love it bc of that… i’ll never love wtvr nick n charlies ship name is the way i love byler but the show itself makes me so happy in a way st (usually) doesnt. maybe thats bc i havent been exposed to enough queer tv so i just love it wherever i see it but as a queer teen in a mega conservative us state it feels so hopeful/joyful esp compared to all the trauma will goes thru in st bc of his queerness (or wtvr various homophobic things happened in young royals i didnt watch the whole thing)
not that i dont love st (my blog is byler themed lol) but thats my unasked-for defense of cringe gay tv/movies. overall i just want MORE queer tv shows whether theyre cringe n saccharine or ultra serious n depressing :) would love to hear ur thoughts if u want to share or u can let this marinate in ur inbox or delete it w/o reading. peace and love !
and im so glad it brings other people joy!! when i say my own opinions that is not me saying the show/movie is objectively bad. i totally see the appeal of a happy gay show like heartstopper, i personally just prefer things that arent lighthearted and romcommy feeling. like my favorite genres are scifi, horror/thriller, and murder. i like deep and dark shit thats not always boiled down just to a ship.
and also i wanna make it clear that when i say “serious tone” that does NOT equate to depressing!!!!!!!! i am NOT saying i dont like happy endings. it just means i want it treated in more of a real way and not romcommy. i dont like the cutsey stuff like the doodles in heartstopper and how they filmed the phone calls in the first bit of rwrb (i know you havent seen it but just trust me). for me personally things like that just completely take me out of the movie like i just want to watch it authentically like it would have happened irl and thats how more dramatic and serious toned shows/movies are always shot.
i also tend to like my gay fiction to be within a much huger story. a good example of this is the show, the wilds. that show is about a severly fucked up social experiment involving 8 girls and a staged plane crash that leaves them stranded on an isolated island and two of the girls end up together. i LOVED how they wrote that. amazing show highly recommend. this is also one of the reasons i love byler. its a part of a much bigger story and its treated seriously while still being cute and beautiful. plus im 10000% sure itll have a happy ending so again, serious in tone does noooot mean depressing.
thanks for being respectful in this ask and not just trying to change my mind or act like im not allowing anybody else to enjoy what i dont enjoy. and i will say since you do love heartstopper, youd probably love rw&rb and i highly recommend it! and if you want a list of more queer fiction recs i can def give you that (but obviously mine will be less lighthearted than heartstopper).
#i already have one of sapphic fiction somewhat recently you could scroll through my anon tag and find it#eden answers
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Could you rank the Charlie Day movies you have seen so far? And say what you liked best about them? I really want to watch more of him heh ♡
omg, ill do a quick ranking and then also RB a post I did that's similar to this
1. pacific rim obviously... it's a great movie just by itself, even without how cute he is in it. newmann have my heart forever.
2. horrible bosses 1 (I haven't seen 2). it's an objectively lame movie. there is an annoying sexual harassment plotline that's just used as a joke. however most of the movie is pretty funny plus it has jasons sudekis and bateman and them with Charlie are fun lol. it's just a good brainless watch and Charlie's character is suuuch a malewife obsessed with his fiance <3
3. fist fight. hilarious movie. another good malewife CD character. sweetheart pathetic teacher. gets beat the fuck up. so good.
4. hotel artemis. again, charlie gets beat up. and he's a villain this time!! he's immoral he's slutty he's frantic he's an asshole. and jodie fosters character is so special to me I love her forever and ever. did I mention hot bloody jeff goldblum?
5. I want you back. I can't believe this came out in FEBRUARY?! it feels like forever ago. it's not the greatest movie of all time but it IS Charlie Day as a romantic lead therefore it IS a great movie. and jenny slate is incredible in it. <3 they're precious together and if you want to cry. go for it.
6. going the distance. bad stupid romance movie. what's her name... the tomboyish cute lead girl. she's ok. anyways Dan (charlie) and his comedic duo character are so in love. this is the one where Dan canonically cries during sex and can suck his own dick. and there's already a fic for that out there (you're welcome <3)
now we get into obscure cameos lol forgive me if I miss some
7. vacation ? he plays a frantic depressed heartbroken tour guide and it's kinda cute.
8. the hollars ?? I didn't watch this but @charlies-freckles did and the screencaps were funny lol. he plays a pathetic nurse. hot by default.
9. pacific rim uprising. bad movie.
10. honorable mentions: the Lego movie and monsters university. listen he's a decent voice actor even if he has a very distinctive voice. funny characters
anyways!! TLDR I'd recommend pacrim, fist fight, and horrible bosses, and if you like pacrim then hotel artemis also. or at least some of his Acapulco scenes because my god is he great.
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just a random guy who really loves your art. i noticed you made the cute doodle asking peeps to reblog your art and i just wanted to share why i dont? i really love your art and i absolutely wanna reblog it but im a songxue shipper and lowkey you seem kinda grossed out by that ship. which is totally oki, i know its not everyones cup of tea, but sometimes it seems like you'd be offended if a shipper reblogged your art i guess? and i dont rlly wanna bug you, i love your art and i adore your content. i think your likes and dislikes are valid as hell and you're totally allowed to have them. i just wanted to say that i do want to rb your stuff and i do love your stuff and im sorry im not supporting your art in that way, i just really didnt want to cross your boundaries. thank you for sharing your art and drawing so much of the guys (they're my blorbos, thats why i ship them and you're basically the only person who draws them ic imo). you're a wonderful artist and your art regularly impresses the hell out of me. your sense of humor, expressiveness, color pallet, creativity, and just plain Skill are all so freaking amazing and you deserve accolades. im sorry for being a weirdo who likes one of your squick ships but your art is fabulous. maybe i'll make a sideblog where i hide my ship tendencies and just rb you a lot there, you deserve the support :)
hey now,,, this is very sweet lkdhlkh and i really appreciate it + am glad you enjoy my art so much and think it's in character LOL i know i make things that are completely silly and absurd so it fascinates me (in a good way) that it's still seen as in character
also thank you so much for reaching out, i've been having a really rough time (depression! YAY) and honestly didn't expect anyone to say anything ;; (which is totally fine, people don't need to say anything! but it feels really good to be acknowledged)
i guess i'll take this as an opportunity to address this in general! i don't mind if people ship something i don't like/a notp as long as they're not making me engage with it, i don't track people down at gunpoint like HEY SHIPPER SAW YOU TOUCHED MY ART! no! all i ask is people don't /tag/ my art as whatever if i don't want it tagged as such (and don't ramble on about ship ideas in there either lol please), but i'm making an effort to make that obvious in the body of the post itself :) lots of my friends/followers ship things i don't and we coexist just fine!
but as for your ship, i've made mention to it a few times i think that it doesn't really bother me that much! in fact, the more i draw them together, the more chill i am with people taking away whichever kind of interactions they want from my art of them! they're my blorbos too and i love drawing them together, and although sometimes i am explicit about not wanting them tagged as a ship (so like, if they're drawn as family, xy is a child and sl is not for instance, lol), and sometimes i wish not everything were seen as shippy, it's very unreasonable i think for me to expect people not to see it that way. does that make sense? that's why someone requested i tag it a certain way so they wouldn't have to see it anyway OTL
anyway, you're totally fine! if you want to reblog it go right ahead, and if you wanna slap that tag on it, go ahead too (WITHIN REASON, see above). it's the other ostensibly more popular xue yang ship that i'd rather not get wrapped up in, haha
don't hide who you are! don't try and bottle things up for the sake of making someone else feel better. i've been doing that for too long and regret it immensely. maybe this year i'll finally put that to rest too
#the big secret here is that mostly any negative reaction to it i have is when it feels Mean#i cannot stand people being Mean to song lan that is my man#songxue#for blacklist ily shin mwah mwah#shin dont look
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I posted 192 times in 2022
That's 192 more posts than 2021!
23 posts created (12%)
169 posts reblogged (88%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
meursaulty
extravalgant
wizzycore
stormbreaker101
I tagged 192 of my posts in 2022
#jackie rbs - 167 posts
#jackie posts - 25 posts
#wizard101 - 12 posts
#headcanons - 6 posts
#i love this sm - 3 posts
#these are so cute!! - 2 posts
#!!! - 2 posts
#omg this is beautiful!!! - 2 posts
#this is so cool - 2 posts
#asks - 2 posts
Longest Tag: 131 characters
#like trying to nurture something but like burning it all the time because your too passionate and your emotions get the best of you
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
playing a privateer is like spamming the buff button and then occasionally throwing bombs at the enemies
13 notes - Posted June 21, 2022
#4
Can you do myth and balance for the dual school pls ❤️❤️
sure thing!! im still currently obsessed with the idea so we're in this together <3
These wizards come across as standoffish and calculating most of the time. They’re glances being taken at face value. Almost like numbers are in their eyes. But if they looked deeper, if they looked to where they exactly are looking, they’d find a much simpler answer. They would find that they are looking for the exit. Constantly figuring out the fastest way out. Chasing the door because it’s the only thing that feels familiar to them. Like a child having to watch the horrors from afar.
They’re given the title of legendary very easily. Few and far in between while also being hard to get a hold of. Very akin to the same creatures and stories they study and learn over their lives. But would anyone know that they also wish to see the wonders? To be able to step out of the cave they were cornered in and to see the world through a different lens. Looking at the grassy hills and purple skies with joy and courage. Gazing at the starry sky, counting as many as they can thinking it’ll be the last.
Needless to say, they spend a lot of time in their head. Creating worlds and universes with encyclopedia entries down to even the different types of grasses. Inserting people into their lives they wish were there. Having people who they would love to talk to, becoming their friend. Annoyances becoming villains and them becoming the heroine with a sword and shield at the ready. Winning the day against the dragon queen with light and hope. A very bright future contrasting their dark look on life and the spiral.
If you were to get close to them, you might even see something different and strange compared to the rest of them. A warming feeling emanating off of them. A aura that feels like cashmere and beige, but dappled with gold and eccentricity. Something about them is so comforting and alluring. Yet so wild and unpredictable like a story half written. And you are the muse that finishes the last half. In color, or grayscale, depending on how you want this story to end.
17 notes - Posted April 18, 2022
#3
this is another addition of the dual schools post! its kind of a sadder one so to speak; but i hope its not too depressing!
the combo for this one is death + myth :]
How often do they mourn the loss of those who would fall quiet on your lips. A voice seeming not really their own, as if they’re speaking for someone else. They speak about them as if they were still here, as if you could give them a hug and know exactly what they were feeling. But it’s all just backlogs and memories stored too deep for anyone to look through. Pages so thick with dust they look double in size.
Catacombs and mausoleums becoming some of their favorite spots. Being able to talk with people who have a fear of being forgotten, and the wizard having the burden of being unforgettable. Cursed with knowledge they wouldn’t pass onto anyone else. A torch burning bright and hot just leaving you with burns and scars until it finally takes your body. Even in death you would be asked to help you think.
Somber is the best word to describe these wizards. Given the knowledge and sometimes weight of being the unknowns vessel. Being told to write a book on things no one else would understand. To understand a language so convoluted yet so clear to you. But they would write it, they would write 3 books if it meant someone else might start catching on. If they had to publish a lengthy series, they would do it. People need to know this; people need to at least feel this weight with them.
Once you finally see past them and their ‘gift’ do you see what they are. You will see someone who cares so deeply for everyone to be heard and understood. A child who just wanted to feel included and feel loved in their community. The question you should ask yourself is not if you should help them, but rather, why do you want to help them. Is it because you feel the need? Or maybe because it’s simply the right thing to do. Either way, only they will decide if you picked the right answer. For they are the speaker of the dead and the lost; they never needed to add your voice to their choir.
19 notes - Posted April 13, 2022
#2
i was very inspired by @t00thbox who made a post about the death school! they brought up some amazing points that got my brain going so I came up with this!!
the only warning I have is that there is mentions of bruises and cuts of sorts so beware of that!! otherwise enjoy!
For some people it’s hard for them to accept the give and take of the world. Fearful of the things that could be so easily taken away from us. Albeit a person, an object, an idea; whatever it is they would defend it with everything they have. Fighting until there’s dirt under their fingernails.
You would think the same thing looking at some of us. Wounds covering our body, lacerations and deep bruises seeming more common than any blemish or discoloration. Your thoughts may wander to the countless acts of selflessness that we acted upon. Shielding the weak with our bodies. Throwing up a banner of revolt and charging head first.
That would’ve been more heroic if that was true. In reality, we act as conduits. Siphoning our own soul so that someone else could achieve those same heroics we could never even dream of. Sparing no expense as long as it fills them with a sense of power and courage.
But at the end of the day, we all are bones. We return to the soil and ash we were molded from. Only our bones remain as our last eulogy is written in a tongue only our brethren can decipher. And as our caskets are lowered, only those of the same school may lower their heads in respect.
The duty of a necromancer is a long one. A journey that takes you down roads that have been long forgotten. But it is one of the more meaningful paths you’ll come across.
20 notes - Posted September 24, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
here’s a quick little blurb that I’ve been working on for a little bit now!! it was sparked by Val’s brilliant dual schools post 🖤
this post is about a fire + life school combination!
They’re extremely passionate people. Always wishing and pushing for a future that they hold dear in their heart. The same heart they wear on their sleeve. Beating loudly for anyone who wants to listen; to hear their song of love and loss. To the beat of their past experiences and what they hold fast to.
They have the same gentle touch that is known about life wizards, but there’s some depth to it. Instead of a soothing wave of calm washing over you it’s more of drive that comes from them. A sense of adrenaline surging through you like a forest set ablaze by not arson, but with purpose. You can stand up now with renewed vigor, not by usual means, but with valor knowing that no one else can complete this task but you now.
They’ve been known to be quite stubborn in their opinions and way of thinking. But they don’t mean to come across that way. They just believe so fully with their souls that it’s true. Believing is without seeing and without judgement.
23 notes - Posted April 12, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
#tumblr2022#year in review#my 2022 tumblr year in review#your tumblr year in review#IM SO SORRY IF THIS ACTUALLY TAGS YOU…#I just want to have it for memories 💔#jackie posts
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Super random post but I got to see Ateez in LA and I’m just feeling very thankful for kpop as a whole. More under the cut if you want to read my cringy ass ramble about this genre :] also, let me know if you happen to fall into the super specific niche of kpop stan and F1 lover, let’s be friends!
I started listening in middle school and had a very long hiatus due to 1D (no regrets 1D4LIFE) and got back into it my freshman year of college, I’ve now been actively stanning groups for nearly five years and really have gained so many beautiful friendships and gotten introduced to such amazing artists because of it.
Ateez is one of those groups that have been with me since 2019 and I can’t explain the feeling of being able to see a group that I’ve seen grow before my eyes and grow WITH me LIVE IN CONCERT!!!!!! I’ve never had a concert depression like this before!!!! It was so fun to dress up, be in a space where everyone was down to be crazy and scream about these boys, and just overall participate in this community!!!
I took a bit of time off from kpop ever since BTS's hiatus because I miss their group activities so much, but this trip to LA + rehashing of my obsession with Ateez has CHANGED MEEEEE (hahaha i know very silly)!!!!
I sometimes feel discouraged from participating in kpop spaces bc I'm kind of old (just turned 24 lmfao) and that's geriatric to a lot of kpop stans 😭😂 I worry I'm being creepy by enjoying new groups but I realized recently its not that deep I think!!!! I truly just love this kind of music, the visuals, the dancing, etc, and to me kpop is so much more than the individual members of a group!!!
My kpop setup now!!!! I’ve never had a dedicated space for this stuff but I have finally accumulated enough albums to make a cute lil stack!!! Missing is BTS BE and MOTS:7, stuffed somewhere in my college dorm stuff that I never unpacked lol, RM’s Right Place, Wrong Person bc I forgot to add it before the pic, and the Chk Chk and Boom versions of SKZ’s ATE!! That pic of Namjoon is from their 2021 Season’s Greetings, which was my first kpop merch ever!! I like to say it’s my military wife photo hehe. That’s my number one man he’s my ride or die my forever and always in sickness and in health and I mean that 🗣️ my Seonghwa picket is now my most prized possession, so pretty!!!!!
Setting this up has also made me realize that I have quite a sizable photo card collection at this point! Thinking of getting a binder and sleeves to keep them organized! Lmk if you’d like to see my collection!
Peep my Lego McLarens and my RB 16! Lego Mercedes is off to the side, just haven’t built it yet!
I have a metric tone of posters to put up, will post when I get around to that.
Anywaaaayyyy, if you read this far, you’re a real one seriously, thanks for listening!
🩵🤍🩵🤍🩵🤍🩵🤍🩵🤍🩵🤍🩵🤍🩵🤍🩵🤍
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i didnt want to BLAST op in my last rb with an absolute Wall of tags on like, a two digit note post ,
so im just gonna.... hurl them here
CW: personal vent post, really negative thoughts look away ^^ i just have to get this written down somewhere or else ill Explode, Actually.
its been almost a year since the unfair firing incident at pr//oject moon, and for the last few, like... Months, at this point, ive just been reeeeeeaaaaaally thinking hard about the entire thing, processing overtime how bad it really was, what its a symptom of, and, looking towards the future, how i want to move on from it
coincidentally its also now a little over the 1 year mark of my getting into the p//jm games, and what used to bring me out of my depressive catatonic states has now thrown me Ass First into a Series of them
what i thought was a unique world and a lovely, hopeful narrative, i now realize was just a house-of-mirrors-esque distorted reflection of the world and society we live in
i thought they had a heartfelt and sincere underlying message in their works about humanity and connection, but with how pjm handled the real life situation and INSTANTLY bent its knees and prioritized its money-making incel fanbase over the safety and wellbeing of a Real Human Employee who had NOTHING to do with the situation, its obvious that all of it was hollow to begin with, and now just comes across as "what if capitalism.... but with cool people fighting in cool ways,.. AND monsters!!!" and i just can Not take anything the story tries to meaningfully say (if it ever was in the first place) seriously now
its all showy fireworks that fizzle out fast with nothing substantial behind them: eye candy, fanservice
and that entire ordeal, or rather reviewing the entire ordeal in my head and thinking about it agonizingly over the course of many months, really hammered it in for me that theres no way any form of entertainment out there is worth the livelihood of a real life human being
(and this is where pjm stops being as relevant, but is definitely where all of the next stuff stemmed from)
which got me thinking even further; if no happiness built off of the unhappiness of another is worth it, why does the world at large look the way it is now? call it disillusionment or waking up from my naivety, but i, keeping in mind the worlds other issues at large, like how everyone is fully and wholly documenting how a genocide is going down and the world just merely watches it unfold, realized that Ah. Truly we are So Fucked
i began spiraling further, thinking more and more and began buckling under the weight of problems too unfathomably large for anyone to tackle by themselves—could any of these even be solved within my lifetime as we are now?
to wrap things up, basically its become so so so incredibly hard to want to keep living
(that doesnt necessarily mean i want to die though; i personally make a distinction between the two)
its so hard to wake up feeling like theres something worth doing anymore
create art and make things? its hard to do that when your wrist hurts and youre so slow at everything and it feels like time passes by at x2 speed for you but everyone else seems fine and able to function and you cant help but wish you could hard reset your brain </3 its getting hard to think and articulate and imagine and process and its so discouraging for me.. i find myself wishing there were 36 hours in the day to compensate.....
enjoy a game or novel? its hard when every flicker of happiness feels so frivolous n trivial and insignificant in the grand scheme of things. like okay so i was reading like. last night, right? and everytime like something idk funny or cute happened i was instantly hit with a reality check and became insantly depressed. like what is that. thats so unfair. pit felt like i was going through moodswings in x18 speed. i could Feel the mania brain chemical get to me and then id be Ass Blasted with cortisol and brain numbness not a goddamn second later. what the fuck do you do then ?
i know ill live and all, as when i imagine myself dead or dying it doesnt feel quite right
but being comfortable and living comfortably like this, in my room, safe from the outside, that doesnt sit right with me either
eating is hard. sleeping is hard. i dont want a body. i dont want to have to take care of it. i think i want to disperse into bubbles
maybe ill start writing or something, as words seem to be what im running to for solace nowadays (<- balls deep in webnovel) since HHHHOIAUUURRGGGHHHHH...... WHY must i be an artist why must i be afflicted with the maddening urge to create at all times. i think a lobotomy would fix me
hhhaaaaaahhhh on the topic of creating and art, drawn art specifically, uuuugggghhhhhhhhh drags hand down face FUCK.... SOMETIMES I SEE A REALLY GOOD PIECE OF ART AND IM STRUCK WITH INSPIRATION AND AWE AND RESPECT AND IM LIKE ugghhhhh fuckkkk not AGAIN..... if i dont get something out of these hands right tf now...... and then i beat myself up mentally over not acting on that urge and letting it pass over me because uhm.... WRIST PROBLEMS!!!!! ^^ !!!!! + BRAIN SLOW (and i dont want to be reminded of that fact)!!!!!! ^^
#.txt#edit aint no way this took me an hour to write. it felt like 30 minutes passed at most.#ok so i looked at the clock yeah like 1 hour n a halfish almost passed pretty much.#i saw my last rb was from an hour ago and im like fuucckkkk maaaannnnn nnnoooooooo whhhyyyy#TIME WHEN I GET YOU.... PASSAGE OF TIME WHEN I GET YOU .........#re: the idea that everything feels like im perceiving things at x2 speed/im moving at x0.5 and absolutely hating it#i hate it here#sigh but nevertheless they are my comfort characters. i just wont support them financially ig
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prev rb is funny and cute but it made me kinda depressed thinking about it for too long cause it's so foreign to me. If I was ever a minor inconvenience to my parents they would eerrmmmm do various heinous things to me
#how does it feel to have parents that ultimately love you despite it all#My parents stopped forcing me to wear feminine clothes only after I started sobbing everyvtime we went somewhere.#and they slowly realized punishing me for crying didn't ''fix'' me#cuz my snot covered swollen face was an embarrassment/made them look bad lolll#txt
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kimchi :(((( god. KIMCHI U ACTUALLY CANNOT DO THIS TO ME RN HELLO????? i love you so much thank you 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
idk the amount of time and energy and love i put into this fic i kinda forgot abt.... since no one has read it in a while but ur rb just like reminded me of how much i put into this and how it did pay off 🥹
like i thought so long and hard about wonwoo and yn and how their relationship would be/how to make it realistic and make sense from both sides... like why wonwoo neglected her in the first place and how long yn would stew in her own depression before realizing that this is her life and that if wonu wasnt gonna give her what she wanted she had to find it herself <//3
ALSO OMG WRITING THE HUOYAN SCENES WERE LOWKEY MY FAVOURITE CAUSE FIGURING OUT HOW TO PORTRAY THAT WITHOUT WORDS WAS SO FUN AND DIFFERENT UGH I WANT TO DO SMTH SIMILAR TO THAT AGAIN IT WAS SUCH A GOOD EXPERIENCE (so thank you for loving that scene and seeing the effort i put into that scene ksdjksd)
i just love this fic so much it's like my little baby :( wonwoo is such a loser and if i do end up writing a pt 2 for this i can't wait to write him more as a whipped loser bcuz lets be honest he IS <//3 he's so fucking cute UGH TYSM KIMCHI ILYSM :((( THE FEEDBACK THE COMMENTS LIKE YOU DONT KNOW HOW HAPPY THIS MADE ME I LOVE U :((( thank u for reading 💔💔💔💔💔💔
BURNT PROMISES, SECOND CHANCES : a wonwoo atla au.
genre. avatar the last airbender au. arranged marriage au. slow burn. no communication istg. mutual pining. angst. fluff. fire lord wonwoo. nobleman's daughter/fire lady/briefly assassin reader. ft. advisor!jeonghan & brother!mingyu. warnings. wonwoo is frustratingly bad at anything social. reader is neglected. reader is depressed. wonwoo is overworked ngl. dragons. swords. (reckless) firebending. brief brief mention of child abuse. burns from firebending. blood. assassination lol. wonwoo is shirtless like... 3 times BCUZ AXE WANTED IT OKAY?? kissing. pairing. wonwoo x fem!reader. wc. 14.5k (i am so insane and i almost died 15 times writing this.) a/n. this fic is my longest ever fic and tbh idk if i'm ever gonna write a fic this long for a long time. i used to not be able to write more than 3k and then suddenly BOOM 14.5K OUT OF NOWHERE?? this is definitely a fic i'll remember for a long long time, and i have to say i'm extremely proud of it. fandom cross-overs have always been one of my absolute favorite things to write, and this definitely filled a little spot in my heart that i didn't know needed to be filled w a svt atla au. special thanks to @blue-jisungs who has hands down been the most helpful person in me being able to complete this fic-- i seriously wouldn't have finished it without you </3, and thank you to @wheeboo for proofreading this beast for me <3 i love you both very much :D
Wonwoo stood at the edge of the coffin, blank eyes staring down at the body that lay inside it. The news had been shocking to the whole Fire Nation. As far as anyone knew, the late Fire Lord had been healthy and suspected to rule for several more decades, yet here he lay, lifeless and cold in the wooden box. Wonwoo felt neither sadness nor grief. His father had always been a cold man who had shown little attention to his children.
Mingyu, Wonwoo’s younger brother, had become a ship general the year prior, and was still at sea, unable to return in time for the funeral or his brother’s suddenly announced coronation. Though, hearing the news of his father’s passing had started him back in the direction of home, it would take him several months or more to arrive still. He would stay for a month or two before returning to his diplomatic travels to the Earth Kingdom.
Wonwoo had, of course, been aware from a young age that he would one day become the Fire Lord. It was destined for him as the eldest son, and he had spent his entire life leading up to now preparing for it. His training had been twice as intense as Mingyu’s growing up, and while he had sometimes seen it as unfair during his teen years, he quickly grew to understand the burden he must bear as the next in line to the throne.
He had responsibilities that Mingyu did not. He was not only expected to attend extra fire bending lessons, but he was required to be well-versed and knowledgeable in political matters, royal etiquette, local affairs, military management, and public speaking. On paper, he had all the qualifications necessary to be a responsible and wise leader, though it was Wonwoo’s own doubts and uncertainties that led to the uneasy feeling in his stomach at the thought of the power.
His gaze wandered a little, up to the throne surrounded by crimson flames, once occupied by his father, now empty. Soon, he would be the one seated there. There was a sense of pride that flickered in his eyes as he took in the sight. He had always been determined to become a leader that the nation could trust. He had always assumed he would have a little more time to prepare, though.
There were many things that still felt improper about his coronation in two days. For as long as the position of Fire Lord had been in place, it was customary that the lord be already wed before taking the throne. And, if he happened to already have children to secure the family line, even better.
Wonwoo had neither.
He had barely ever thought about women or love, having been too focused on his studies. But now, the task of finding a wife as quickly as possible was plaguing his mind among the other sudden changes.
“Your Highness?”
Wonwoo turned at the sound of the voice echoing in the empty throne room. It belonged to Jeonghan, Wonwoo’s advisor and long-time friend. Jeonghan was one of the few people that maintained Wonwoo’s absolute unwavering trust, something that not even Mingyu could say he possessed.
“I’ve compiled a list of eligible young ladies that would be suitable to be your bride. Given the pressure from the public, there isn’t much time for you to spend much time with them, but if any of them pique your interest, you could at least meet them before the wedding.” He explained, handing over a scroll to Wonwoo.
Upon unravelling it, Wonwoo scanned a long list of names, each clearly stating who the woman's father was and what connections she had. Below each name was a brief description of background, and important or notable skill sets and events were specifically stated.
“You’ve put stars next to some names.” Wonwoo noted, furrowing his eyebrows as he read further down the list.
“The stars are to separate the ladies whose fathers have already expressed their approval of their daughters marrying you. I didn’t star the ones who seemed greedy for the throne or possibly had ulterior motives, I might add. I would suggest picking from them if no one particular interests you.” Jeonghan clarified, pointing to a couple of the starred names, “These young ladies are well beloved by the public for their beauty and skills. Some are excellent firebenders, others have accomplishments in different areas.”
“How long do I have to choose?”
“About 4 days… 6 at most. Though, I’m sure the wedding planners and the lady’s family would both be appreciative of extra time to prepare for the ceremony. If you leave it to the last minute, they’ll have to scramble to get everything ready in less than 48 hours.”
Wonwoo nodded, “I’ll decide by this evening and give you my selection. Please set up a meeting with her family for Thursday. If the wedding is on Sunday, I’d like to have at least met her once before then. Thank you for the list, it makes the process a little easier.” He said sternly.
Jeonghan laughed and threw an arm around his shoulder, “Why so gloomy? You’re about to become the Fire Lord! And you get to choose among the most beautiful young ladies of the Fire Nation to be your wife! Brighten up a bit!”
“Despite the celebrations, I’m not feeling particularly cheerful about any of it. I’m juggling the coronation, picking a wife, the wedding, keeping track of Mingyu’s route back from the Earth Kingdom, electing a new army recruit, firing some of the higher ranking generals that only survived because of bribes with my father, and tending to the public’s complaints about the reconstruction on the East side of the city. My brain feels like it’s about to explode.” Wonwoo sighed.
“For this week until your wedding, focus on the first two of those tasks. The coronation will go smoothly even if you don’t write the speech ahead of time. You’ve prepared for many years for this. The rest can wait a little, but you can’t show up to your wedding without first choosing who you are marrying, so please inform me of who you choose as soon as possible.” Jeonghan patted his shoulder reassuringly.
Wonwoo nodded, taking one last look at the long list of potential wives before rolling the scroll back up, “You’re right. I’ll make sure to give the time sensitive tasks my full attention.”
“Would you like to join me for some tea?” Jeonghan suggested, “I’d like to take one more chance to address you as Prince Wonwoo before your change in title. Or should I start calling you Fire Lord Wonwoo already?” They both laughed at Jeonghan’s teasing, and Wonwoo agreed to the offer for tea. He was glad that amongst all the change, Jeonghan remained a constant steady fixture of his life.
Wonwoo kept his word and picked out a bride from the list before his coronation. He trusted Jeonghan and his judgement on who were the best potential wives, and so he picked from among the starred candidates. After comparing descriptions and seeing some portraits, he finally landed on his final choice.
His crowning as Fire Lord took place on Wednesday. The ceremony went by surprisingly quickly, which relieved him of some of the stress he carried. The Fire Lord headpiece felt heavy and unstable on top of his head, and though he had made it through the coronation, he still felt uneasy. Was he really qualified to take on such an important role?
Wonwoo didn’t get much sleep Wednesday night. Shuffling in the corridors and disturbance of the long red curtains in his bedroom kept him awake most of the night. He was sure it was just all the sudden changes getting to his brain and keeping him up, but the anxious feeling that he couldn’t shake off almost tormented him.
He put on one of his best robes to visit his soon-to-be bride the next morning. The walk to the family’s house was short as they were among the nobility of the Fire Nation and lived within 20 minutes of the royal palace, in the heart of Caldera City. Wonwoo had done some additional research on the lady he had picked with the help of Jeonghan. Since he wasn’t able to pick a bride the traditional way, he wanted to try to lessen the chance of unhappiness in the marriage by trying to pick someone with qualities he respected, which is how he landed on you.
Y/n L/n: the daughter of a high-ranking government official who worked in Ancient Studies and the Preservation of Fire Nation Culture. Wonwoo had heard that your father was quite the fire-bending expert, though it was said that you did not possess the gift. You were renowned for your beauty and intelligence, as well as a kind heart.
If it was true that you fit the description, Wonwoo had high hopes that even if he didn’t fall in love, he would still be able to proudly say that you were his wife. He just hoped that you wouldn’t despise him. He didn’t have the best track record when it came to romance.
Being busy with his princely duties and preparing for the throne all his life, whenever he received any romantic gestures or subtle flirting from girls, they usually went right over his head. He didn’t have the slightest grasp on the concept of flirting or reciprocating emotions, and since it wasn’t something that came naturally to him as a teen, he always assumed that he would learn later in life. He had always expected there to be plenty of years for him to find a wife when he felt ready. He certainly hadn’t bet on being rushed into it when he was barely 22.
But this was the way things had panned out, and Wonwoo had no choice but to face it head on. He was the Fire Lord now. There was no room for nervousness.
He left his guards by the gate of the house, strolling through the pleasant front gardens by himself. There was a stone pathway that led to the front of the house. He took his time getting there, stopping to smell the flowers that had been planted on either side. His real intention of getting to the door as slowly as possible was his quickly growing nerves in the pit of his stomach, but he masked it well.
As soon as he knocked on the door (Wonwoo swore even before he knocked), it was opened by family servants. They immediately bowed to him and welcomed him inside, leading him towards a large sitting room where the family was waiting for him.
His eyes immediately fell on you, and without even knowing, his lips upturned into a small smile. The portrait he had been given of you really didn’t do you any justice. You were infinitely better in person, he thought. He introduced himself and took a seat, preparing for the conversation that would unfold in the next hour or more.
He could tell that you were nervous as you talked. You fiddled with your fingers in your lap each time you had to answer a question Wonwoo or your father posed, and for some reason, it made Wonwoo feel more at ease. He was glad he wasn’t the only one feeling anxious over this first meeting, though he was sure no one would be able to tell. He had perfected his public speaking at the age of twelve.
The basic introductions and formalities were coming to an end after almost an hour of speaking. Wonwoo had clarified all the expectations that would come of being a Fire Lady and your father seemed overjoyed that Wonwoo was taking interest in his daughter.
“It seems this conversation is dying down a little. Would you mind if I talked with Y/n alone? Perhaps we could take a walk around the garden?” Wonwoo asked gently and was met with enthusiasm from both your parents.
“Of course! Take as long as you want with her.”
You led the way out to the back garden which Wonwoo found to be even more charming than the front garden. There were twice as many flowers, as well as a stone fountain in the centre of the grounds. What Wonwoo found most pleasing was the small turtle duck pond nestled by a tree. He made his way over to it with you.
“I hope you’re not… opposed to this marriage?” Wonwoo started tentatively, first addressing his biggest fear.
Thankfully, you smiled and shook your head, “I would be a fool to be opposed to a marriage to the Fire Lord.”
“But, are you not disappointed?” He asked.
Again, you shook your head, “You must be referring to the fact that we are not marrying for love? Of course I had always hoped that my marriage would contain mutual love and respect… who knows, maybe it still can? I know I will be making my parents happy with this, and I am flattered that I, of all the Fire Nation, seemed to catch your attention. I wouldn’t have accepted this marriage if I hadn’t considered thoroughly all that it would entail. I’m ready to commit to being your wife, though I am not sure why you sought out me.”
Wonwoo smiled, “You don’t seem to give yourself enough credit. Your list of accomplishments was longer than any of the other ladies.”
“My ‘list’?” You questioned, digging into your pocket to pull out a small piece of wrapped up fabric.
“Yes,” Wonwoo laughed softly, “Given the rush for this marriage, I was given a list of ladies to pick from to make it easier.”
You unfolded the piece of fabric, revealing some small pieces of bread, and crouched down to toss one piece into the water. A baby turtle duck swam up to eat it immediately, the others following along, hoping to get a piece of the bread too. Wonwoo smiled again, watching you feed the turtle ducks with care. He hoped you would like the turtle duck pond at the palace as well.
“What accomplishments were on that list… If I may ask?” You were curious. You didn’t view your life as particularly grand or accomplished. You had spent most of your childhood sheltered and started school late.
“You graduated top of your class from one of the most prestigious schools in the nation. I heard you took up a variety of extra classes beyond the basics, including painting and even army history despite not being able to firebend. Your list of charity work was particularly long. If I remember correctly… over ten different organizations are in your name?”
“I’m glad they included that, at least. It might be one of the only things I’m actually good at.” You mumbled, and Wonwoo furrowed his eyebrows.
You stood up again to face him, “Is it true that you own a dragon?”
Wonwoo was partially taken aback by your question, but he answered it nonetheless, “Yes. Part of my firebending training was studying the behaviours of Huoyan. We learned together. She was just a baby when I got her. I owe my firebending skills more so to her than any of my past masters.”
You watched Wonwoo talk about his dragon, intent on the way his eyes— which had been dull and tired looking all during his visit— seemed to brighten and sparkle as soon as he started telling you about Huoyan. You had always been interested in animals, particularly Fire Nation ones. You took close care of the turtle ducks, but because you couldn’t firebend, you were never allowed to own a dragon.
“She sounds incredible. If you wouldn’t mind…” You started, your cheeks flushing halfway through. You weren’t sure if what you were about to ask was entirely appropriate— you could be majorly overstepping. The way Wonwoo was waiting expectantly pushed you to complete it, though. “Would you be so kind as to introduce me to her once I move into the palace?”
Wonwoo graced you with a smile back, “Of course. Once you move into the palace I’ll be sure to introduce you to her. Perhaps I could even take you for a ride on her?” Wonwoo suggested, and was met with your ready agreement. You asked again if you really had his word to complete the request. You wouldn’t rest until you were sure of his sincerity. You grinned when he promised— within the first week of being at the palace, in fact, you would be well acquainted with his dragon.
Wonwoo had other meetings for the day, so he had to leave shortly after your discussion about dragons. The next time you would see him, he would be your husband. You wondered how living with him would be. Would it feel awkward and cold like your conversation in the house or would it feel warm and honest like the brief discussion about dragons?
You hoped it would be the latter, but you soon found that your hope only led to disappointment.
Your wedding to Wonwoo was a very public affair. All the nobles and half of the middle class of the Fire Nation were invited to the ceremony. While you weren’t unused to public events from growing up in the nobility, the massive number of people attending a royal event as prestigious as a wedding was definitely foreign to you. You used to be part of the crowd and only very rarely the subject of attention. Given that you were becoming the Fire Lady, you would have to get used to the attention quickly.
There was no chance to talk to Wonwoo before the ceremony, despite getting ready at the palace. The servants helped you with your wedding garments, which were fancier than anything you had ever put on before. The gold elements of the luxurious silk robe were hand-sewn on and glimmered when the light shone on them. They depicted flames of gold and red, and even the red thread seemed to shine brightly. The dress was mostly made up of a rich dark red material which was lightweight but clearly much higher quality than anything you could buy at a market.
The maids applied gold shimmer to your eyes as well as a dark red lip, as was traditional of the wife of the Fire Lord. The last piece of your outfit was an elegant headpiece. It, too, was gold and was pinned uncomfortably tight into your hair to keep from slipping.
You looked in the mirror one last time before the ceremony, turning your face to the side to view every angle with scrutiny. These were your last few minutes as just the daughter of nobility. Within half an hour, you would be the new wife of Fire Lord Wonwoo, ruler of the Fire Nation.
As soon as you stepped into the view of the public, there were deafening cheers. More than half the Fire Nation was in attendance, it seemed. Such a cause for celebration hadn’t happened in years.
The public had always been nosy about the personal lives of the royal family. There were groups of people who loved to romanticise it and believed that every royal wedding only came about when a son or daughter of the royal family had fallen into the deepest of love.
There were people with a bit more sense, thankfully. They still wished you and Wonwoo to have the happiest marriage possible, but their judgement wasn’t clouded with the unrealistic idea that royals had the luxury of marrying for love.
You could only hope that Wonwoo would fall in love with you. You believed yourself capable of loving him if you were sure he loved you back. Until you were sure, though, you took everything with healthy apprehension. You weren’t going to allow your mind to be clouded with the softness and warmth that you had felt from him during your walk in the garden. Your mother had always told you that you couldn’t judge a person by how they acted when they were trying to make a good first impression. You needed to watch and silently observe— and only then would you know the true nature of your husband.
This is why your eyes stayed firmly on Wonwoo throughout the ceremony and afterparty. The public thought you were enamoured with him, oblivious to the fact that you had barely spent more than two hours in his presence. You were eager for the wedding to finally be over, hoping in your mind that Wonwoo would invite you to meet Huoyan after.
He did not, though. Instead, he bowed to you and said he had some things to attend to before retreating back to his chambers, letting the servants show you to your new room. You were disheartened when you realized it was almost on the opposite side of the palace from Wonwoo’s. What kind of married couple slept so far apart? Even the justification of this being an arranged political marriage didn’t constitute that level of separation.
You sat down on the edge of the bed, contemplating the issue. Your brain was screaming to bring it up with Wonwoo. How were you supposed to get close to him when you were separated during the day and during the night? He was your husband. There was no reason why you couldn’t bring it up with him.
But what if he wanted to be separate from you? You thought about the possibilities for minutes before finally dismissing it. You felt nervous at the thought of asking him about it first. You didn’t have the courage to speak to him that freely yet— you were sure you would sound entitled if you did.
You hoped that the situation was just a result of how the royal palace worked, and not because Wonwoo had no wish to get to know you more. Despite growing up a nobel, you had never set foot inside the royal palace and were ignorant to its inner workings. But there was still time to learn.
You spent the next 2 weeks familiarizing yourself with the palace and your responsibilities as Fire Lady. There weren’t many— especially compared to the Fire Lord’s responsibilities— but it was enough to keep you busy for a few hours of the day. They were mostly social matters, enriching yourself with the people of the nation, and listening to their concerns.
You quite liked the work you were given. You had always excelled at finding solutions to tricky problems, and it stimulated your brain much more than at home. The times you were working were the best part of your day. When you were left on your own in the palace, you succumbed to boredom. It was big and empty inside— the only warmth in the place coming from the elaborate flames used as decoration. It didn’t feel like home to you, so you spent most of your day by the turtle duck pond in the gardens. Though you longed for some human interaction, the turtle ducks at least kept you company.
One thing continued to bother you, though.
You barely saw Wonwoo at all.
Since your wedding, you had only had two other conversations with him in 2 weeks, each of which only lasted for a few minutes. Wonwoo woke up earlier than you did and didn’t wait for you to come down to eat breakfast to start on his tasks as Fire Lord for the day. He would often go on overnight trips without informing you, which made you feel almost invisible to him.
Whenever you crossed paths with him inside the palace, he was very clearly on his way to somewhere important and couldn’t spare any time for you. You had started to try to initiate conversations with him in hopes that a little effort would break the ice between you two— just simple things like asking about his work or how his day had been. He responded gently, but it was very clear in his tone that he had no desire to continue talking to you. It had been unsuccessful so far, as each conversation ended abruptly when one of the servants called for Wonwoo’s attention or he excused himself from your presence.
You often saw him talking to his advisor: Jeonghan. He seemed to follow your husband around everyday with a huge pile of scrolls. You assumed they were the daily tasks of the Fire Lord.
You were the last person to interrupt someone when they were so clearly busy working, so you kept to yourself as much as you could. Despite your loneliness and constant boredom, time seemed to pass quickly. April fourteenth marked six months post the wedding. By this time, it was quite usual for you to not even see Wonwoo at the palace for weeks at a time.
You didn’t ask for much. You were never a greedy or dependent person. But the lack of attention given from Wonwoo had started to affect you more than you realized. You used to be social and bright, filled with energy to tend to people’s issues or helping animals. Now, you barely even went out to the market anymore.
You had become rather dull and cold to Wonwoo whenever you saw him, hoping that he might pick up on your change of demeanour and fix something in his attitude, but he seemed as oblivious as ever. In your head, you had absolutely resigned to the fact that your husband did not care for you at all, and that the rest of your marriage would carry on in this sad lonely state. He still slept in his room that was on the other side of the palace from you. He still kept busy with duties all day long. He still woke up earlier than you and turned in early (you had started to think that he was doing this to purposefully avoid you). You felt hopeless and your loneliness brought with it depression.
You even felt a little betrayed by him. He had made several promises to your father that first meeting, one of which was that you would be sure to be happy and content at the palace. He couldn’t have been more wrong on that.
Your brain also kept going back to his later promise that he made to you in the garden— that you would get to meet Huoyan as soon as you moved in. All these months, you had clung in vain to that side of Wonwoo in the garden. If he was truly like that to you everyday, you were sure you would’ve fallen deeply in love with him.
But now you knew for certain that it was all just an act. You had been wrong about Wonwoo all this time. He had no intention of getting to know you. The warmth you had once felt from him was truly a one-time thing. You didn’t expect that he would ever showcase that sincerity to you ever again.
Over time, you slowly lost interest in making an effort, and retreated further into your new life of solitude. There was a lot you could do in your room, big open space secluded from the rest of the palace. With a quick trip to the palace armoury one late night, you found yourself a new hobby.
If you had done this right after your wedding, you would’ve made sure to ask Wonwoo about it first; another precaution in hopes of being a “good wife” and “one that he could grow to love”. Having tried everything you possibly could think of and failing at that task, though, you didn’t care if he minded or not. The servants all took your orders as the Fire Lady without any questioning, and you quickly learned to use your position of power to keep yourself entertained enough to not entirely lose your mind stuck doing nothing for months.
And so, with two borrowed long swords from Wonwoo’s collection, one sharp dagger, fifteen ancient martial arts scrolls and five sword-fighting ones, you dedicated yourself to the art of self defense and battle. If you were careful enough, Wonwoo would hear nothing about this.
Wonwoo had been anticipating Mingyu’s arrival back home for weeks. It was unsurprising that he had taken twice the expected amount of time to get back home than any other general would have. Mingyu’s skills at directing a fleet of ships were… questionable. No one could strip him of his position, though. His title as prince overruled any judgement from any of his crew.
“Wonwoo! How have you- Ow!”
Wonwoo looked up from the map he was studying, quick enough to catch Mingyu hop forward in pain, clutching his foot from where he had bumped it against the edge of a table. Wonwoo smiled. He had a lot of affection for his younger brother, no matter how incompetent he was sometimes. And though he would never admit it, he had missed him while he had been gone for a year.
“I’ve been well. It’s still the same here. Quiet. Especially when you’re away.” Wonwoo commented, rolling up the map and setting it aside.
“It’s still the same? Father died, you became Fire Lord, and you got yourself a wife, yet it’s still the same?!” Mingyu asked incredulously. Wonwoo could only nod, stepping down from the throne to walk with Mingyu.
“How is married life?” Mingyu asked once the two were walking out of the throne room.
Wonwoo shrugged, “I thought it would be different from being single, but it barely is. I still spend most of my time in solitude.”
“Don’t you talk to her?”
Wonwoo paused before answering, “I don’t see her much. We both seem to be rather busy.”
“Do you at least make an effort to talk to her when you can? You can’t be that busy. No matter how many tasks you had, I know you still drink tea with Jeonghan every day.” Mingyu pointed out, disappointed in his brother’s excuses. “I know you were always hopeless when it comes to this, but you must have considered how lonely she must feel in solitary in this massive palace, right?” Mingyu studied Wonwoo’s face carefully, sighing when he caught the guilty look in his eyes which he had hoped would not appear.
“So let me get this straight,” He took a breath, “You married one of the prettiest ladies in all of the Fire Nation, only to never talk to her and then wonder why married life is so quiet?”
Wonwoo admitted to it in a hesitant mutter, causing Mingyu to groan.
“God, you’re stupider than I thought! At this rate, she’ll want to break off the marriage, Wonwoo. Don’t you see that she has the power to ruin your reputation as Fire Lord if she chooses? If you don’t remedy this, she could tell the entire Fire Nation that their beloved Fire Lord is a cold and cruel man with no affection for his wife, despite her efforts to get closer to him.” Mingyu stated clearly.
Wonwoo frowned. He had never thought of that possibility before. “It’s been… almost a year since our wedding already.” Wonwoo realized, shocked at how fast the time had all gone. The days seemed to bleed into one another, and with his lack of sleep keeping up with daily tasks, you were often the last thing on his mind.
“Do you think it’s even possible to make it up to her now?”
“Well, yes, you have worsened your chances of fixing it by studiously ignoring her existence for 12 months, but you shouldn’t feel completely hopeless. If you put in the right amount of effort, she might come around.”
“What should a husband do to try to win the affection of his wife?” Wonwoo asked, feeling completely overwhelmed at the situation.
“Send her flowers, do her favourite activities together, take her on dates, devote time to her! And for God’s sake, don’t forget your own wedding anniversary! You can’t expect her to care for you when you don’t give her any of your time.” Mingyu explained frustratedly. Among the two brothers, he was definitely the more experienced when it came to love. Unlike Wonwoo, he actually had time to date amongst his other commitments.
Wonwoo felt a pit in his stomach, an uncomfortable lurch in his core that was screeching out all the mistakes he had made. He realized in an instant how truly awful he had been treating you without even knowing it. He had foolishly assumed that you, being of nobility already, would do fine on your own in the palace. Given the nature of the marriage, he hadn’t even considered your possible desire to get closer to him, or the stress that would come with being uprooted so abruptly, going from your own familiar living space to the deafening quiet of the royal palace. Now that he was aware of all of these errors on his part, he felt a strange crack in his heart; an ache that couldn’t be soothed without knowing that he could make you happy again.
He had made many mistakes— almost innumerable. As his brain raced, it only pulled more and more instances of your clear discomfort that he had never bothered to pay attention to before this moment. He thought back to every interaction he had with you over the months, and it was never more clear to him that you had only been comfortable around him during your first meeting together. The feelings that the dragon conversation had brought in both of you had never been repeated.
Wonwoo now knew what he needed to do. He was determined to get you back to the way you were smiling and laughing that first conversation. He needed to fulfil his promises— however late he was to that. And he had a hope that the key to setting everything to rights was sleeping on his back doorstep: Huoyan.
Your mental health had significantly improved since you had picked up your new hobby. It gave you a thrilling surge of excitement whenever you were able to pick up the two long swords from the box under your bed. It was more dangerous than anything you had ever been allowed to try as a nobleman’s daughter— yet, it was always something you had been interested in.
You liked delicate things well enough. Sewing and painting and dancing were all enjoyable hobbies, but they never truly excited you as much as dragons or firebending or sword fighting. You had grown up watching your father teach Fire Nation history and demonstrate some of the very first fire bending techniques; learned straight from the dragons.
Tried as you did when you were a child, you could never seem to produce a single spark or flame. It disheartened you early on in life, and once that fantasy of adventure had been shut down, your father never saw the point in teaching you sword fighting. You had been disclosed to be a gentleman’s lady: one who sat still and looked pretty and smiled a lot. But now that you had the tools and authority, you weren’t one to let this chance to indulge your inner child go.
You quickly got in the habit of sneaking out to test your quickly improving skills in the real world. You used the training grounds in the middle of the night when no one would see you, and after a couple months, you felt confident enough to go even further. You found a list of active criminals in the Fire Nation and took it upon yourself to take them on.
Charity work had always been your favourite— helping people had always been your passion. It fuelled you like nothing else had, and each night that you snuck back into the palace having successfully taken down another threat was another night you slept soundly.
It wasn’t long until the Fire Nation started to notice. A new hero taking out the nation’s top criminals— ones that not even the royal guard had been able to capture. They named you The Scarlet Shadow for your dark crimson and black robes and your proficiency in the art of stealth. Your smaller frame and stature helped you get around unseen. You used the shadows to your advantage, slipping in and out of them without being caught.
It was incredible how much you learned without a dedicated master. You wished you could hire one, but you didn’t want to be found out by Wonwoo, so you kept everything as secretive as possible. You spent the entire day reading scrolls and practicing in the privacy of your room. Once the sun set and you had told the servants you were sleeping early yet again, you snuck out.
It was now the first week of October, and you were dreadfully reminded that your first wedding anniversary would come on the fourteenth of the month. The first six months had been some of the worst of your life— mercilessly having been ignored and made to feel insignificant by your own husband. But the latter six brought some of the best months of your life.
The freedom of The Scarlet Shadow completely disconnected you from your duties as the Fire Lady. It brought a freedom that you never had, and if this was how you would be spending the rest of your life in the palace, you would gladly accept it.
Your target for tonight— the fourth of October— was an infamous and nefarious man named Orin. He was known to capture children from homeless Fire Nation families with an excuse of paying taxes. He then sold them to the rich and corrupt as slaves. The abuse didn’t stop there, as many of them were malnourished, overworked, never paid, and even beaten.
Your heart ached for the victims of the man. You had known about this situation for years, but was never able to do anything about it. Given his reputation, Orin would have probably taken one look at you before being determined to marry you. You could only wonder at what horrors his past wives had to go through. They had all run away from him as soon as possible. Some, less fortunate ones, had died trying.
You got dressed in your garments: a black and red robe that was easy to move and fight in. It was stealthy, and didn’t make any sound when you walked in it unlike the fancy bejewelled silk robes that you wore as Fire Lady. You sheathed the long swords and stuck the dagger safely in your shoe, ready to pull out and throw when you needed to. You pulled up the black cloth over your nose, shielding all but your eyes so that no one could identify you.
And then, you jumped out the window.
It was a cold night: one of the first proper ones in October. Given the change of the season, more people were sleeping earlier. Most of the city was hushed and in their beds already, which made your task even easier. It was always more risky to navigate in the summertime when night festivals were held until morning.
Orin’s house (or mansion, that is) was on the East side of town. The man slept late, usually partying until the early hours of the morning. You wished you could get the job done while he was sleeping, but it would be too risky. If anyone found out that you weren’t at the palace, you would never hear the end of it from your personal servants and advisors. You grimaced, thinking what Wonwoo would think of this whole situation.
You weren’t sure why he was always on your mind. Everything you did came back to him, even though you still didn’t know him. You had always thought that the relationship between a husband and his wife should be intimate and companionable. You wanted to be able to tell your husband anything and everything— to be able to confide in him and seek comfort when you needed it. You wanted to be taken care of, and in turn, take care of him. You wanted the supporting relationship that you had seen in your parents.
And though you knew that Wonwoo had none of these qualities, you still held out hope that he would one day improve. You had seen many people have changes of heart; even the cruelest man had a chance to change his ways.
When you had first met Wonwoo, you had been overcome with just how beautiful he was. You had been so sure that his heart must be as beautiful as his face, foolishly having fallen for his charming smile and pleasant offers which you now knew were just a facade to win you over. Your chest tightened thinking about how wrong you were.
Yes, he was still the most beautiful man you had ever seen. His dark silky hair always fell perfectly over his forehead, hitting just below his eye, complementing his face shape. He always dressed in only the finest silk. You admitted to being guilty of admiring his figure from afar. You were sure he was in shape— any firebender who trained as vigorously as he definitely was. You had never seen more than a sliver of his collarbone; but it was enough to confirm that he had enough muscle to run a nation.
And that was something you did admire about him. He was able to run the Fire Nation to perfection. Within the first months of being Fire Lord, he had already come up with several clever solutions to problems that his late father had started. He was healing the Fire Nation’s relationship with the Earth Kingdom through his younger brother, Mingyu. He sent diplomats to the other 2 nations as well, promising aid in any crisis that might arise. He preached peace and harmony between the 4 nations, and you were glad he wasn’t a proud Fire Lord with elitist ideals, but a humble and honest one.
You still held respect for him as a Fire Lord, but any respect that you had for him as a person was dwindling the more days spent as if you didn’t exist. You longed to be noticed, to be treated as an actual person. You didn’t need to experience love, but you had always wanted to. Didn’t you deserve to at least once?
Wonwoo huffed, sweat beading on his forehead and back from the challenging training he had set himself to do. He breathed, and with each breath came new sparks of fire. It was hot in the room, but he barely noticed, too focused on the new skill he was attempting to master. It was a sort of jet propulsion— using the flames he was able to create to propel him forward at a high speed.
Huoyan watched him from the corner where she napped. Her red scales brandished against the warm light that came from the fire in the room. Since Wonwoo was 13, he had stopped taking lessons from the palace masters and learned on his own with Huoyan instead. She was a strict master, one could say; but the bond he had created with her was stronger than anything else.
Wonwoo attempted the move again, faltering at the last second, causing the blast to hit the ceiling in an uneven flurry. He groaned and fell to the ground, frustrated at how long it was taking. He used to be the quickest learner in the Fire Nation. He was able to focus all his attention on mastering new skills with ease, and that allowed him to pick up on techniques twice as quickly as others.
He just couldn’t focus at all right now.
Huoyan whined from the corner, showing her disapproval of Wonwoo’s inability to pick things up quickly. He frowned, rolling to the side, still on the floor, and looked at her. She was curled up, almost catlike, her wings wrapped around her body like a blanket. But Wonwoo couldn’t miss the grumpy look on her face. He stood up and walked over to her, reaching out his hand to rest on her nose, scratching it gently.
“I’m sorry, Huoyan. I don’t think I’m in the right mindset to train right now…” He muttered, sitting down in front of the dragon. He reached over for his silk robe that he had folded before training, slipping his arms through the arm holes again but not bothering to tie it across his body. Huoyan licked Wonwoo's hand— a sign of affection and trust amongst dragons and their owners, and Wonwoo smiled.
“Do you think she hates me?” Wonwoo asked quietly, not really looking for an answer from the dragon, though she gave him a low rumble. “Right. She probably does. I would hate me too…” He sighed, running a hand through his hair. He had been thinking of you ever since Mingyu had come to visit almost a month ago. It was all he could think about. The guilt was eating him up from the inside out. Whenever he heard mention of you, his stomach lurched forward and the guilt practically doubled.
“I don’t know what I need to prioritize anymore. I prepared my whole life for being the Fire Lord… I’ve learned what to do in situations and what choices to make that keep the wellbeing of the entire nation at its core. But no one prepared me for being a husband. How do I even make it up to her?” He frowned.
He had always confided in Huoyan. As ridiculous as it sounded to talk to a dragon, Wonwoo had always found it the most natural. She couldn’t give him responses like Mingyu or Jeonghan, but she had insights that they didn’t. She couldn’t talk, but Wonwoo could still understand her. Their bond was strong enough for that.
He was too scared to talk to Jeonghan about his struggles. He was sure that he would laugh at him, unable to see how serious the problem was. He had never had any problem with dating or love.
“How do I show her that I care?” Wonwoo questioned. Huoyan huffed, making Wonwoo scowl and raise an eyebrow. “What do you mean? Of course I care about her! She’s my wife. It’s a husband’s duty to care for his wife.”
Huoyan shifted, tucking her wings closer to her chest and wagging her long tail along the floor.
“You’re right, I haven’t been showing her any attention… But… I have noticed her. I always have. She looked hopeful… and then… it was gone. I-I watched it fade away. Her eyes stopped shining. They’ve been dull for months.” He explained, distraught. “I wanted to talk to her. She always caught me at my busiest— or maybe I’m just… too nervous? You should see her Huoyan. She’s prettier than you. I’ve never seen anyone so… angelic. She used to try to start conversations with me; ask about my day and the sort. I wanted to keep talking to her but my heart would race so fast in my chest. It felt… uncomfortable.” He narrated with a small smile. Huoyan listened intently, her eyes closed. Every once and a while she would give a response— a grunt or a huff whenever Wonwoo was being unreasonable.
The conversation proved incredibly productive thanks to Huoyan’s sharp ears. Wonwoo was able to let out all his thoughts. Explaining them out loud helped him understand where things had gone wrong and how he could fix them. He decided to talk to you tonight. No more avoiding it out of fear, no more suppressing the guilt he felt. He would lay it all out to you; admit to every mistake.
He needed to earn your trust, and he would do that with being painfully honest. He knew his ego would take a massive blow, but it already had. It was dwindling. The great Fire Lord that he had always aspired to be wasn’t able to even win over his own wife. The thought was laughable.
The walk down the corridor towards your bedroom was filled with nerves. His throat felt dry as he gave a gentle knock to your door. When he didn’t hear a response, his heart sank, but he knocked again. Did you hate him so much that you weren’t even willing to listen to him?
His chest tightened at the thought. He felt entirely helpless. If you wouldn’t even listen to him, there was nothing else he could try. He knocked one more time, calling out that he would open the door if you didn’t say anything.
There was no response, and so he pushed it open slowly.
The room was empty, and Wonwoo’s eyes widened. You had nowhere to go except for the palace and the servants had informed him that you had gone to bed early and should be in your room.
Panic flooded through every inch of Wonwoo’s body. From the top of his head to his finger tips. His hands started to shake as he thought of all the possibilities.
The most likely of which? Kidnapping.
You were a nobleman’s daughter. You weren’t a firebender— you couldn’t defend yourself. You were the Fire Lady, an extremely desirable victim for enemies of the Fire Nation who wished to get some leverage over Wonwoo. His mind raced to the possibilities of needing to choose between you and whatever the people who took you wanted.
If it were a case of life or death, he would choose you in an instant.
Thanks to his extensive training, Wonwoo was easily able to think of the best move to take. Mingyu had brought with him a pack of shirshu from the Earth Kingdom. They were excellent trackers. They would be able to find you faster than Wonwoo’s search party could.
He found one of your headpieces from on top of your vanity and took it. He was in a frenzied rush, calling over his personal guards to come with him in case he needed backup. He had the shirshu sniff the headpiece, a relieved sigh escaping him when the animal seemed to pick up on your trail. He mounted Huoyan and had the guards go with the Shirshu, and started on the hasty search.
His heart was racing the entire time. Each time it looked like the shirshu had picked up on something, his heart rate felt like it doubled. It didn’t take long to find where you were, but when Wonwoo realized the location, his heart completely sank.
Orin was well known in the upper circle of the Fire Nation, and he was without a doubt, the most sickening man Wonwoo had ever met. His father had held a position in government and Orin had inherited it. Though Wonwoo wanted to arrest the man or even banish him from the Fire Nation, he didn’t have the means to expose him for his wrongdoings yet.
Kidnapping was one thing, but knowing that you were in the hands of Orin had Wonwoo’s stomach twisting inside out. He had never felt so sick to his stomach. And worst of all, it was all mostly directed towards himself. He hated himself.
If he had taken better care of you then this would never have happened. If he had paid attention to you— made sure you were safe and happy and looked after. If he had gotten over his stupid nerves and been a good husband, then you would never have had to have suffered like this.
Until he saw you with his own eyes, he could only pray with his entire being that you were still alive. He didn’t even want to think about the things Orin could do to you. Would he manipulate you? Threaten you? Take advantage of you? Harm you? Kill you?
He didn’t wait another second to storm into the house, startling the servants who quickly got out of the way. He quickly made a search through the entire house, his guards taking the lower floors while he took the upper. He blasted down the door to Orin’s bedchambers with firebending, not wasting a second to rush in.
What he found there was certainly not what he expected. The man was lying on the floor, a pool of blood underneath him, dripping out from a heavy stab wound to his chest. It was obvious that he wouldn’t survive more than 10 minutes at the most.
Before he took his chance to interrogate Orin, he saw a dark figure jumping out of the window from his peripheral vision. Was it the person who killed Orin? Then… Could they have taken you?
Wonwoo quickly changed his course, believing that going after the assassin would be more productive. If they had killed Orin then they must also know where you were, and maybe even, what Orin had done to you. He knew better than to trust anything Orin said to him. It was likely that even if he asked, the man would lie even until his dying breath. Honesty had never been one of Orin’s virtues. Not that he had any of those to begin with.
It was hard to pursue a person dressed in black and dark red during the night time. Wonwoo was thinking with a panicked and terrified brain— and so the easiest way he thought of to see where he was going was to firebend. He tried to be careful as he sprinted, shooting flames in front of him when he needed to. Sweat was building up as the exertion started to take a toll on his body. He needed to catch his breath; calm himself down from the panic he was dealing with. But the assassin was almost within reach, so he pushed his body just a little further.
He blasted one more flame forwards, but due to his exhaustion, it wasn’t perfectly aimed. It hit the assassin square in the back, knocking them to the ground roughly. Wonwoo’s eyes widened and he rushed forward.
He heard them cough, trying to roll on the ground to put out the flame, but it had clearly already burned through their garments. They screamed as the fire scorched their skin. Wonwoo felt like he couldn’t breathe. He had never used firebending so carelessly before. Even in an Agni Kai, he was focused and precise. He had rarely been in combat that wasn’t for training purposes, and even when he was, he knew how important it was to stay in control of fire. It was known that fire was the easiest element to lose control of; and so, the first thing that new firebenders were taught was the first rule of fire bending to never break: never lose control of your flame.
But Wonwoo had done just that.
Wonwoo quickly put out the flame on the assassin’s back, grimacing at the bright red scorch marks they had left on their skin. From the design of the robes, he quickly realized that this wasn’t just any assassin. He had come in contact with The Scarlet Shadow.
He quickly pushed her back so that her face was up, holding her shoulders so that her exposed back couldn’t come into contact with the rubble on the road. His hand trembled as he moved to pull down the black fabric covering the assassin’s face. She needed to be able to breath easily after being burned so badly.
Wonwoo had already been through enough panic tonight, but this was more than anything else. The face he was faced with once he removed the cloth was the last one he ever expected. Soft eyebrows, delicate eyelashes closed over eyes that he knew well, perfect lips parted to let uneven heaves escape, cheeks tainted with dirt and scraped from the fall.
“No… N-no…” He struggled to breath, holding her up as carefully as he could. His eyes stung with tears that he refused to let fall and his chest constricted for the fifth time that night. It had all gone wrong from the start— his attempts to help had all backfired. And now he was faced with a reality that felt like a stab to the heart.
Wonwoo had burned his own wife.
Wonwoo’s brain made sure to remind him of his very first conversation with you as Huoyan flew him back to the palace, you securely in his arms. You had asked to meet his dragon. You had been excited to, even making sure he promised to. Those promises had burned to the ground like everything else. He would never allow himself to forget the sparkle in your eyes as you asked him. He hadn’t seen the same shimmer of excitement since you had first become his wife.
“Would you be so kind as to introduce me to her once I move into the palace?”
He had smiled at your question back then. He had been pleasantly surprised that you seemed so interested in dragons. It wasn’t what he would have expected from you, but it gave him hope that he would be able to go closer to you. He had also always loved dragons.
“Of course. Once you move into the palace I’ll be sure to introduce you to her. Perhaps I could even take you for a ride on her?”
Take you for a ride on her. That promise was finally being completed now, in the worst way Wonwoo could ever imagine. He held you a little closer as he thought about it, his heavy breath dispersing into the air with every heavy sweep of Huoyan’s wings.
He would never forgive himself.
The healers at the royal palace were the nation’s best, and Wonwoo made sure that they had strict orders to give you their full attention. He couldn’t leave the room; couldn’t bear to think of leaving you again. No, he would stick by your side from now on. He would never leave you alone. He would devote all his attention— his heart, his mind, his body, his soul to loving you. He would make sure you never questioned his affections again.
As he watched the healers apply medicinal creams and ointment to your back, he was again reminded of that very first conversation with you.
“Of course I had always hoped that my marriage would contain mutual love and respect… who knows, maybe it still can?”
Your hope and optimism was something Wonwoo should have cherished. Your faith that a love-filled marriage was still possible for you was a quality that he could only wish he possessed. He had been entirely foolish. He had made every mistake possible to make. He had watched silently as all that hope and excitement and trust had faded from your body.
He would never forgive himself.
He always saw you roaming the corridors alone. You often went out to feed the turtle ducks. They were your only company other than the servants. Wonwoo assumed at first that you would immediately find ways of entertaining yourself. You had all the power you could wish for; anyone would bend knee and foot to your every command. You could host extravagant balls or buy gifts for yourself from across the world. You could wear the most precious gemstones and fabrics in the entire Fire Nation.
But you never did. Your humbleness had stuck with you all this time. It was something that Wonwoo could not take away from you. He didn’t know whether to be grateful for that or not. The virtue was admirable, but if you had not possessed it, could you have been happier?
Wonwoo shook his head. It was all too late for these trifling what if’s and maybe’s. The past was set in stone, unchangeable. All he could do was look to the future with hope and treat the present with the proper determination to change his ways.
Your burns were severe. Being blasted by such a powerful fireball from such a short distance had certainly left an impression. Wonwoo cried when he first saw it. Red, angry, scorched skin marked right in the middle of your back, sticking out awfully against your otherwise smooth skin. It was all because of him. He had left a second mark on you— one much more visible than the first. He had damaged your mind, and now, he had damaged your body. The guilt he carried was sickening.
Wonwoo asked Jeonghan to cancel every single responsibility for the next 4 months. Jeonghan panicked, of course. It was nearly impossible to expect the Fire Lord to do nothing for that long, but Wonwoo was firm in his request, and somehow, Jeonghan managed it.
He spent most of his time by your bedside, looking after you as carefully as he could. He ordered the healers to show him how to properly wrap your wound and apply new medicine, and once he was sure he could do it properly, he assured them that he would take care of it.
Huoyan slept closeby as well, knowing that Wonwoo wouldn’t leave your side, but wanting to be a listening ear if he needed it. Wonwoo was grateful for that, and used the opportunity well. Daily talks to the dragon helped him clear his thoughts and understand his feelings. Huoyan couldn’t lift the guilt, though.
There was only one person who could.
Wonwoo anticipated when you would wake up for more than a week. He needed constant reassurance from the healers that this was normal. Your body needed to conserve its energy to focus on healing itself. The medicine helped, but it was your own body that was going to heal it.
It took ten days for you to regain consciousness.
The first thing you felt when you woke up was excruciating pain in your back. You felt like you barely had any strength in your body. Everything felt as if you were in a daze, and your memory was extremely foggy. You couldn’t remember anything from the last month.
When you gathered enough strength to open your eyes, the first thing you saw was the symbol of the Fire Nation. A large red tapestry was hung on the wall, at least four times the length of your body. You couldn’t see much else besides it, as you were lying on your stomach, your head resting on the pillow sideways.
Ah. The palace.
You sighed, but immediately regretted it as any movement brought more shocked pain to your back. You grimaced, a pained whine escaping your lips. You felt relief before you could register the reason why, and forced your eyes open.
It was Wonwoo, pressing a cool cloth against your bandaged back gently.
Wait.
It was Wonwoo?!
“Wonwoo?” You questioned, your voice softer than you were used to. It would still take some time to get your energy back— even talking felt like more exertion than comfortable.
“Y/n. Don’t talk, please. It will only tire you out.”
You furrowed your eyebrows. Wonwoo sounded different. His voice was deep and slightly raspy, but soft and full of worry. You were sure of it. It was impossible to miss. He was… worried about you?
“Wonwoo?” You asked again with a little more urgency. You felt the cloth on your back stop moving. He stayed silent, waiting for you to continue your thought. Clearly you wanted to talk, and though he didn’t like the idea of you overexerting yourself, there were many things that you were probably curious about.
“Why are you… doing that?” You were almost scared to ask. Your own sensibility forbade you from blindly trusting Wonwoo in the moment, even though your heart was screaming for it. He was so close to you (literally within 30 cm of your face), and it was all you had wanted in the past. You had just wanted to be close to your husband. You wanted to love him, and for him to love you back.
You forced yourself to be rational and not fold immediately, though everything about him was entrancing you at this moment. The smell of bergamot hit your nose and almost distracted you completely from the pain in your back. Wonwoo’s touch was soft and hesitant. He handled you as if you were a piece of glass that could shatter at any small impact. He had already hurt you enough for 1 lifetime. He never wanted to do it again.
“I want to take care of you. You’re badly injured, Y/n.” He muttered. You looked at his face, searching for sincerity in it. And it was there; clear as day. His eyes were scared and tired, as if he had barely gotten sleep in the last week.
“What… happened? Why- how did I get injured?” You demanded. Your throat was strained from the energy it took to speak, but you needed answers.
“I don’t want to distress you. You’re still in pain. Please, just… sleep for now?” He asked hopelessly.
You were torn. Sleep sounded like a dream right now, but you didn’t know if you could trust Wonwoo for answers later. You couldn’t figure him out— you didn’t know him; you couldn’t trust him. He changed like a switch after a year, and now you weren’t sure what to believe.
“Will you tell me later? Will you tell me everything?”
Wonwoo nodded, “Yes, of course. You are overdue for an… explanation. And I am sorry. I’ve treated you worse than an animal for the past year. I… I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to regain your trust, but I want to. Please believe me— there’s nothing more I want to do than to make things right.” You saw his eyes get hazy, overcome with emotion; grief, remorse, self-loathing, hope. You wanted to believe him, and you barely had the energy to do otherwise, so you found yourself humming in small agreement. It seemed to put him at ease a bit. He relaxed his shoulders and stood up.
“I’ll be here if you need anything. Let me know if you’re uncomfortable.” He smiled at you— an expression you hadn’t seen from him since that very first meeting. This smile was sad, though. It couldn’t reach his eyes and it quickly fell back down. You wondered what it would look like in full. You wanted to see him smile brightly. You wanted to be able to be the cause of his smile; to be able to make him happy.
He drew the curtains to block out the sun that had just risen and walked out of your view. You closed your eyes and welcomed sleep, falling into dreams quickly. Your dream was unpleasant. You tried again and again to get Wonwoo’s attention and affection, only to be met with his old attitude. It was as if he was unaware of your existence. When you woke up, you had a bitter feeling in your chest.
You were in significantly less pain after your sleep. From the light outside, you reckoned it was a couple hours after dinner. You could sit up on your own, and you could feel your strength slowly coming back to you. You sat up quietly, having your first view of the room you were in. It was large and spacious. A large balcony was to the other side of it, decorated with elegant golden statues of two dragons. They were embracing each other; a couple.
You looked over to the dresser, and heat immediately spread up your neck and to your cheeks. You had caught Wonwoo changing his top robes. His back was right in your view. You couldn’t deny that you had pictured it before. Wonwoo had always been the most attractive man you’d ever seen. His skin was milky and smooth. His muscles were defined but he still kept a lean physique. Your eyes were trained on him as he slipped his arms through fresh red robes, tying the garment across his chest. It was only when he started turning around that you forced yourself to look away, pretending as if you hadn’t been staring.
“You’re awake.” Wonwoo commented, soon joining you on the bed— sitting on the edge of it. “Did you sleep well? How are you feeling now?”
You shied away from his dark pupils that were examining your face. His eyes looked brighter and more refreshed than before— he looked more alive than he had hours ago, and you liked the look on him. He looked… prettier.
“I’m not in as much pain now. I slept okay… just had a bad dream.” You admitted, frowning at the thought. It was hard to trust that Wonwoo would keep being this nice to you. You had never been an attention seeker; usually you hated any kind of focus on you, but something about Wonwoo’s attention was pleasant and warm.
“A bad dream?” Wonwoo echoed, his eyebrows furrowing in concern. “What was it about?” You shied back slightly, unused to his contented look as he waited for you to respond.
“It was just… you were ignoring me again. In the dream. I hated it.” You whispered. Wonwoo’s eyes softened and saddened, and without thinking, he reached out to cup your cheek. He knew that he had hurt you by ignoring you all those months, but to know that it had hurt you this much? It felt like his already shattered heart was splintering into his insides, tearing apart his entire body and being.
“I am so sorry, Y/n… For not showing you the love you deserve, for ignoring you all that time. I don’t know if I have an explanation for it… there’s no excuse that justifies treating you like that. Especially you. I-I’ve thought about it every day since my brother’s visit. I’m ashamed to say that it took him to knock some sense into me. I would try to explain myself… but I’m afraid I’ll only sound selfish and stupid.” He sighed heavily, shutting his eyes tightly and dropping his hand from your cheek.
“No. Tell me, Wonwoo. I want to know, no matter how bad it sounds. I want to know everything. You said you’d tell me everything.” You demanded. He nodded.
“You’re right. Are you… quite comfortable? Explaining it all might take some time. I’m still worried about your back.” Although it warmed your heart that he was so worried (the cute frown that he wore while trying to inspect if you were in pain had you melting), you cared the most about hearing what he had to say.
“I’m okay, Wonwoo. Don’t worry about me.” You reassured him. That was all it took to get him to start talking, and he started from the very beginning.
“After my father’s death, I had to find a wife quickly, as you know. I didn’t have time to deliberate much on who to pick— I just had my instincts to trust. I am certain I picked the right woman, though. You have never once disappointed me, Y/n. The fault was always on my part. I was the one who ignored you. I was the one who never tried to get closer. I was the one who failed you. And I’m so, so sorry for it.” Wonwoo’s eyes were getting teary— he couldn’t hide the gut-wrenching guilt that he felt whenever he thought about it.
You had never seen him this emotional. You were happy that he felt comfortable enough with you to be this vulnerable, but the burden he was carrying made you feel heavy as well. You wanted to comfort him, console him, assure him that it was alright. You didn’t like holding grudges— for as long as you can remember, you were always hopeful that people could change. Wonwoo was finally showing the sincerity you had always longed for. He blinked back the tears before continuing, taking a deep breath and steadying himself by looking at you.
“I always wanted to talk to you. It just… felt uncomfortable. I’ve never been good at talking to people casually. They don’t train you for that in classes, believe it or not. I’m good at public speaking and strategic planning for the nation; but if you had ever put me next to girls in school, I’d end up a flustered and oblivious mess. I was always like that. Mingyu was better with the ladies and I was better with… textbooks or animals. They can’t be hurt as easily.
“I can only assume that by ignoring you, I was trying to avoid hurting you with my words. I never considered that by doing that, I would have caused you much more pain than a few awkward conversations. You always left my heart racing when you would smile at me from across the room those first few weeks. I kept a straight face because I knew the image would stay in my brain for the rest of the day and keep me from completing important tasks. Ignoring you and the effect you had on me was a bad way to cope with my feelings. I didn’t think I had time for love.”
The explanation took you by surprise. You had always presumed that Wonwoo had never cared for you, and that was why he never put any effort into talking to you. Knowing that you had been in his heart all that time surged the hope that you had for him that had been hidden away in your heart.
“I planned to talk to you sooner, but on the night I tried to find you, you weren’t in your room. I assumed you had gotten kidnapped, so I tracked your scent with a shirshu brought from the Earth Kingdom. You can imagine my distress when I realized that the trial led right to Orin’s homestead. I was so panicked. I could only imagine what a man like him would want to do with the Fire Lord’s wife.” He breathed, the panic he felt from the time rushing back slightly.
You frowned, your heart aching to hear how much he cared for you. You grabbed his left hand gently, slowly giving it a reassuring squeeze. The gesture made a tear slip down his cheek, but he wiped it away as quickly as possible.
“I… saw someone jump out of the window and decided to follow them given that Orin was already almost dead on the floor. I thought they would know where you were if they had searched the house in order to assassinate him. I-I didn’t know it was you, and I was so panicked from it all that I used my firebending recklessly. I…” His lip trembled and more tears spilled past his waterline.
You were close to crying as well. Seeing Wonwoo so heartbroken by his own actions twisted your insides together. You pulled on his hand, making him lean forward until you could wrap your arms around him. You had never wanted to hug someone as badly. The way he crumbled into your embrace immediately finally broke you, and you allowed the tears to fall. You didn’t want him to talk until he had calmed down, so you rubbed his back, tracing the line of vertebrae one by one. You pulled away when you felt his breathing stabilise, but still kept him close to you.
“And then? After you hit me?” You questioned softly but curiously.
Wonwoo sucked in a breath, “I never meant to hit you— even before I knew it was you. I never knew you were The Scarlet Shadow. I wish I could have taken the time to be proud of you, instead of harming you.” He frowned again, but you just shook your head.
“It was all a mistake. I will heal soon. I’m pretty strong, you know?” You smiled, brushing away a tear stain from his cheek.
“I brought you here immediately and the palace healers took care of you. I asked them to teach me how to change your bandages and apply the medicine. I’ve been taking care of you for the last week.” He smiled, and you were glad he wasn’t teary anymore. You didn’t like seeing him cry.
“Wait… What’s today then? How long was I out for?” You asked.
Wonwoo looked up, counting in his head, “It’s the 14th of the month… You were out for 10 days.”
“The 14th? Isn’t that…?” You looked up, meeting Wonwoo’s eyes. Realisation dawned in them as well. It was your wedding anniversary.
“1 whole year and this has been our longest conversation yet.” You giggled. The hurt feelings you felt from that reality were gone now— replaced with only amusement as you knew the cause had been nothing but the shyness of your husband.
“I am never going to ignore you like that again. I promise.” He said seriously, and you smiled.
“I know you won’t.” You kissed his cheek before you were even realising what you were doing. Both your eyes widened simultaneously before blush spread to your cheeks. “Sorry, you just looked– I just-” You didn’t register that as you were stuttering, Wonwoo’s eyes were focused entirely on your lips. He cut you off before you could finish, catching you by surprise.
You had never been kissed before, and neither had Wonwoo. It felt new and unfamiliar, yet somehow comforting. Wonwoo’s lips were warm and soft, and feeling them move against yours instantly brought butterflies to your stomach. It took a second for you to properly kiss him back, and even more time for you both to find a steady rhythm.
It was like a dance almost; You had to tilt your head the exact right amount in order to not bump your nose against his, all while still moving your lips against his at the perfect pace. You weren’t sure what to do with your hands. They felt awkward just sitting in your lap— especially when Wonwoo’s right hand was gently holding your jaw. They found their place on his shoulders before too long, and that seemed to feel right to you. It grounded you while also allowing you to pull him closer to you, which was something you desperately wanted.
When you tried to deepen the kiss, though, Wonwoo pulled away. You blinked open your eyes, breathing heavily.
“Why’d you stop?” You asked through short inhales. Wonwoo’s face reddened.
“I- you were pulling me closer, and I wanted to hold you, but then I’d have to hold your back, a-and I can’t risk hurting you…” He whispered.
“Wonwoo… You’re going to make me fall in love with you.” You whined softly, your eyes staring into his.
“I always wished you would.” He breathed.
“You don’t have to wish for it anymore.” You promised him. “Can I… kiss you again?” You asked in a small whisper. Wonwoo nodded, immediately resuming where it had left off— lips connected; gentle, loving, and long overdue.
“I told you not to get up!” Wonwoo yelped, surprised by your arms encircling his waist before he could finish tying his robes.
“I said I’m fine. It’s been over 2 weeks. It barely even hurts anymore.” You shushed him, hugging his middle and resting your cheek against his soft silk robes.
“Barely?” He repeated, “I’m not letting you do anything until you can say it never hurts anymore.”
“You’re so stubborn.” You complained. Your hands soon found the tie on Wonwoo’s garment, and you smiled subconsciously as you realized he hadn’t been able to finish getting dressed. You held the sash in one hand, the other briefly running over his abdomen before he caught it.
“You can’t keep your hands to yourself, I see.” He muttered, amused at your actions. You shifted around until you were facing him, and started to cross his robes, tying them together (not without sneaking one last peak at his chest and abs).
“I was just trying to help you get dressed; obviously.” You rolled your eyes before stepping up onto your tippy toes to give him a small kiss.
“Are you really feeling okay, though?” He asked softly. You nodded. You really did feel fine this morning, and especially excited. Wonwoo had promised to take you for a ride on Huoyan; finally fulfilling his promise to you over a year ago.
“You know I always tell you when I’m in pain.” You soothed him.
“I know, but I can’t help but be worried about you. It’s my fault, after all. I want to take responsibility to make sure you heal properly.” He sighed. He always made sure to look at the burn every day to see how it was progressing. It had gotten significantly better, but he always had lingering worries that he had permanently damaged your body.
“It was an accident, Wonwoo.” You brushed your fingers over his cheek, tracing the line of his cheekbone with care. Falling in love with his good looks from afar over the year he ignored you was almost inevitable, but in the past two weeks when he was by your side at all times, talking and laughing and loving you, it was impossible to not fall 100 times harder for him.
“Accident or not, I hurt you. It was a mistake I am never going to let myself repeat. A husband should never hurt his wife.” He frowned. You felt like you had this conversation with him almost every day. He wouldn’t let go of the thought that everything that had gone wrong was because of him. While it was true that he had made many mistakes, you didn’t want him to carry that guilt forever.
“I already forgave you enough times, my love. There is no need to feel guilty anymore.” You shushed him for now by hugging him, knowing that you would probably have the exact same conversation the next day. Wonwoo hugged you back— it had been 4 days since you had convinced Wonwoo that he could touch your back without fear, and 7 days since you had started trying to convince him. You had both enjoyed hugs where you didn’t need to be careful of any pain, and you enjoyed another one. Wonwoo squeezed you tightly before letting you go.
“I’ll help you get ready, and then we can go.” He smiled.
“I can get ready by myself.” Your argument was bound to fail. Wonwoo followed you like a lost puppy wherever you went, and when you started walking towards the dresser for a fresh set of robes, he quickly followed.
“You ready?” Wonwoo’s bright smile was something that you would never get tired of. The gentle creases in his face to the way his eyes brightly reflected his smile, shining brightly; it was all so perfect. You would truly never get tired of him.
“I’ve waited 382 days for this. I’ve never been more ready!” You were eager and still a little impatient as Wonwoo had made you wait until after breakfast. The much looked-forward-to dragon ride had been one of the only things on your mind for the last week. And the second you saw Huoyan, you knew it would be the most magical experience you’d ever have.
Wonwoo helped you onto her back after you said hello and gave her some nose scratches which Wonwoo told you she loved. Wonwoo got on in front of you and told you to hold on tightly. Lifting up into the air caused some shrieks from you and giggles from Wonwoo. You calmed down quickly as Huoyan flew steadily. The view of the entire Fire Nation capital from up so high was unbelievable. You had never seen anything as gorgeous.
“Everyone looks so tiny from up here.” You breathed, watching the ground below as you flew gently around it. People looked to be the size of ants, and large houses were merely the size of a gold piece coin. Huoyan soared upwards above the clouds once you had had your fill of looking at the ground.
The sky was even more beautiful than the ground. It was a clear sunny day, and the clouds in the sky were varied. From large fluffy ones to misty thin ones, you tried to spot as many as you could with Wonwoo. You got tired near the end of the flight. You wished you could stay up in the sky with Wonwoo all day, but you still hadn’t recovered all your energy. You rested your head on Wonwoo’s back, closing your eyes and letting a happy smile envelop your face.
“Tired, my love?” Wonwoo asked softly. You hummed. You had been up in the air for hours now and easily lost track of time.
“Would it be silly if… I wanted to kiss you up here?” You asked quietly.
Wonwoo smiled at your slightly sleepy request, “No, it’s not silly. Unless I’m silly for wanting it as well.” He giggled softly and turned, making his face visible to you. “Huoyan, sorry.” He said quickly before capturing your lips with his.
It didn’t last long, as Huoyan started to complain about it all happening on her back. Wonwoo didn’t press for a long kiss and just let Huoyan fly back down to the palace. The rest of the day was spent less excitingly, but still enjoyable. Any moment with Wonwoo was enjoyable. You visited the turtle duck pond again and fed them, and then walked around the grounds of the royal palace together.
Once you were all ready for bed, tucked under the covers with your head on Wonwoo’s chest, he spoke again, “I thought of a question. I probably should have asked you earlier, but it only just came to me now.”
“Hm?”
“Why did you become The Scarlet Shadow?”
You hummed, “I guess it was just… a way to spend my time. I didn’t have anything to do, and I had always wanted to try fighting when I was little, so I just decided to go for it. It was very… fulfilling. I liked being able to help people.” You smiled, “And, hey, I guess I was pretty good at it. I even killed Orin.”
Wonwoo laughed, “I think I should be worried about what will happen to me if I ever anger you.” He rubbed your arm, sleepily watching you listen to his heartbeat.
“Don’t worry… I love you too much to do anything to you.” You mumbled.
“Me too.” He smiled, thinking back to the events of it all. It had been a long journey for him to end up here; with you in his arms. Among the ups and downs, one thing had stayed steady: your hope that he would change. You still gave him a second chance, even after all the pain and mistakes and broken promises. You still loved him, even when he couldn’t bear to love himself anymore. And as he made sure to heal every wound he had ever given you, you also healed his shattered soul, putting it back together piece by piece.
↳ svt taglist: @kangtaehyunzzz,, @yeonjuns-redhair,, @ddeonudepressions,, @hannahsophie0103,, @skz-minchan-enthusiast,, @shuabby1994,, @icyminghao,, @98-0603,, @weird-bookworm,, @edensgardenn,, @wonwooz1,, @cyberpunksunwoo,, @cienlvrs,, @amara-mars
#﹒feedback 𓈃 ⵌ#also i might have to argue w that#cause when you read rania's joshua fic (tell me you that love me)#it'll become fic of the year#i havent read it yet but i read like the first 10k#before she was done w it#and i just know it's gonna be the best joshua fic on tumblr#SO ANYWAY SHAMELESS PLUG FOR RANIA CAUSE SHE DESERVES IT#also i rly want to write some more long fics i feel so accomplished when i finish them :((#i have some cooking up but we'll see cause they always take SO long.#just an absurd amount of hours writing and it gets so exhausting at times#but hopefully i'll get some more done 🥹#thank u thank u thank u kimchi u made me sob right before i was gonna go to sleep
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