#and my brother who doesn't inform himself ! To avoid 'this' (he said pointing at me nearly crying btw) | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

lu-is-not-ok · 7 months ago

Note

Hello! Just wanted to say that I've been reading your posts and analyses for awhile now, and I really enjoy them! So, I also thought of sharing a sort of theory of mine, bc I'm very interested in hearing what you might think about it.

For starters, these lines from Jia Xichun are very intriguing:

«No amount of pain could wake it from... whatever this dazed state it's in. As you can see...»

«... it must've been long driven mad from pain. Reminds you of the tricks from back home that could induce such an effect, doesn't it? Big brother.»

For two reasons. 1. This is the first time (iirc) in the story where Hong Lu doesn't reply and stays silent and seemingly uneasy; 2. The fact that this "dazed state" as it is described actually kind of reminds of Hong Lu's usual behavior a bit?

To elaborate, after her lines the attention was drawn back to the Priest, and his face was described as "serene". And who's facial expression was also described in a similar manner, precisely, with a literal synonym? Of course, Hong Lu, during the TKT Intervallo:

«The culprit wasn't the only one who suddenly began to behave strangely. Hong Lu did, too.»

«His face relaxed into a tranquil look, as though he was ready to let something go.

... Or perhaps... that was an express of liberation.»

And also to mention how the Priest started reminiscing similarly to how Hong Lu tells stories about his family (but idk, I'm afraid I am starting to reach even harder for this😭)

All in all, my theory, if you can call it that, is that perhaps those "tricks from back home" where actually performed on Hong Lu. This could potentially explain his constant aloofness, his reaction to Xichun's words (she brought up some of his traumatic memories?), and why exactly he has one of the most deranged IDs — because he has already been long driven mad from pain.

I really hope I worded this well enough, and I don't know if I sound like a lunatic or if I actually cooked something when I was thinking abt this at 2 am. And well, I'm also probably not the first one to think of this. But anyways, still thought this is worth bringing up!

Well, I hope you enjoy the Xichun Sin Analysis I just posted earlier then! That being said, there is something interesting I want to bring up with regards to this theory you pose, as it's tangentially related to the bits you reference and also it's been sitting in my head for a while now.

First point - I definitely agree that when Xichun brings up the "tricks" that can leave people in a similar state to the Priest, it's something Hong Lu has experienced himself.

We see Hong Lu has a tendency to avoid topics that bother him at all cost, like how he actively tries to redirect conversations in Hell's Chicken when he's being questioned regarding what he thinks could lead him into Distorting and when he senses Meursault is about to verbally lay into him. It's a tactic he employs very often as a distraction from the weirder things he says.

Interestingly enough, I believe Canto 7 is the first time we see Hong Lu avoid topics not through redirection, but through shutting down. That interaction you brought up isn't the first time in the Canto that he's rendered speechless either. In part 1, he's shown to respond with silence when both Rodya and Sinclair comment on their dislike of Xichun, being seemingly uncomfortable with the way they're talking about her.

And then there's a scene even earlier on in Part 1 that left a really, really major impression on me. Which. I can talk about now!

This, I believe, is the first time in Canto 7 where we see Hong Lu properly shut down in response to something. Something about what Xichun has said made him completely stop what he was doing earlier. His entire approach to the conversation changes in this moment. Earlier on he was excitedly asking questions, trying to give advice and gather information, but after this moment, Hong Lu is rendered completely passive, his lines being reduced to only responding to Xichun is saying in a very... honestly weird way.

It's not obvious in the transcript by itself, but his tone is... odd, compared to the way he was speaking earlier. In addition to that, every expression Hong Lu has during this conversation after this point are ones that actively have him not looking at Xichun, either using his closed eyes sprite or looking to the side sprite.

This moment struck me very, very heavily the first time I got to it in my plathrough. Part of it is because of the weird unnatural shift Hong Lu's behavior takes in this moment that I wasn't even consciously noticing until a reread. The other part is that the exact words Xichun says to Hong Lu that triggers this are ones that reminded me of something very specific in Dream of the Red Chamber.

There is a chapter fairly early on in Hong Lu's source novel that I can only describe as Bao-yu being verbally and emotionally abused by his father for the entire chapter. His father takes Bao-yu along as he shows off his garden to his acquaintances, and every time Bao-yu speaks up, whether by being prompted to or on his own, his father chastises him excessively. I don't remember the exact words, but the framing is pretty clear about the fact that Bao-yu's father sees his son's behavior as being a source of embarassment to himself in front of his acquaintances.

The kind of abuse shown in that chapter is downright stomach-churning in how realistically it is potrayed. It's genuinely upsetting and one of the main reasons I was unable to continue reading much further past that point.

I don't think it's a coincidence that Project Moon decided the thing that made Hong Lu have a shift in his behavior was being told him being himself is a cause of embarassment for someone else in his family. ...And I think Xichun's immediate reaction shows she realizes what is happening as well. It's very telling she doesn't bring up Hong Lu 'not getting better since the last time they've met' until this moment.

Because I don't think the thing he hasn't gotten better from is his upbeat, naive attitude. I believe it's his trauma response he's exhibiting right here. To become passive, downright submissive, and simply take everything that's being dealt to him without objections.

...Which segues nicely into the second point! Because the 'serene daze' shown on the Priest? The tranquility and peace Hong Lu exhibits in TKT, which is outright called out as strange by Dante? I believe it's the exact same as the trauma response I highlighted earlier. It's the immediate instinct to just lay down and take the pain because trying to fight back would only prolong the suffering.

The line about that expression being potentially "an express of liberation" is very telling. On the one hand, this Canto only further cements the fact that Hong Lu is just as passively suicidal as Yi Sang was before going through Canto 4. On the other, it directly ties back to Hong Lu potentially believing that the less resistance he shows, the sooner he'll be freed from suffering.

I already briefly went insane over the following line in a seperate post, but it feels extremely important to bring it up in here as well.

This line. This. Fucking. Line. Directly creates parallels between Oblivion and Naivete, drawing parallels between Donqui/Sancho and Hong Lu. And it's not that hard to see why.

We see that Donqui/Sancho's choice to embrace Oblivion, to completely try and erase her former identity and fall into a dream is motivated by her wishing to escape her reality, to stop thinking about the bloodshed and violence.

This line, and what we see of how Hong Lu acts throughout this Canto, is making it clear that Hong Lu's naive attitude, his constant willingness to assume the best of everyone around him, is just another part of his trauma response I've pointed out earlier.

It's how he escapes the violence he's been subjected to, the reality he's been living in. After all, the explanation he gives for why he wasn't afraid when the Time Killer tried to kill him... is because he understands why people want to hurt him. He didn't fight back when his siblings tried to kill him, because he knew why they would want to do that.

Because he tries to assume the best of everyone, tries to understand the reasons they do what they do, tries to be naively innocent, he's able to accept the pain and let it happen. Because if he can't, if he's forced to face none of what was done to him was justified... Well...

...This is where I would like to jump off and go on a tangent about my own theory. You see, you bring up the story the Priest starts telling to compare it to how Hong Lu acts with his anecdotes, but I think there's something much deeper going on with that story. Look at how the Priest begins it.

It's very clear the story he's telling is him directly comparing someone among the Sinners to Lorenzo, the Bloodfiend he's talking about. Dante's narration doesn't specify who the Priest means, as they only mentioned that "He looked at us", but it's clear from his words that he means a Single Specific Person here.

On my initial readthrough I assumed this was about Donqui, as this is her Canto after all, but... I no longer believe that's the case. In fact, I believe that the Sinner being used as a parallel to Lorenzo here is Hong Lu.

Let me give my evidence first.

One - We know the Priest, even in his daze, still recognizes Donqui as Sancho. The way he ends off his story says as much.

It's clear from his words and his actions that he's actively blaming Sancho for what happened to Lorenzo, and what he believes has happened to Cassetti as well. This would align with the feelings all of the named Kindreds we mett express towards her. So, to me at least, it's clear that the Priest wouldn't compare Sancho to Lorenzo in a way he has here.

Two - The framing of the scene and what follows later puts a lot of focus on Hong Lu.

Hong Lu is extremely present during this scene. Not only is the Priest compelled to share the story right after we see Hong Lu shut down at what Xichun has said, but the CG that follows his story inexplicably includes Hong Lu in it, listening intently.

And not only that, but soon after the Priest is taken away and Sansón tells another story, we get the moment of Donqui telling Dante she thinks it's Hong Lu's turn in the Golden Bough horrors.

If this were a game made by anyone else, I would take this as a self-aware joke pointing fun at how much focus Hong Lu has gotten in a Canto that's not his and move on. But this isn't anyone else.

This is Project Moon, who have a very Notable Track Record of hiding extremely important reveals and foreshadowing in one-off lines during comedic moments, especially in Limbus. See Canto 2 and Hell's Chicken. I genuinely believe the reason this joke exists here is to draw our attention not only to the parallels between Donqui/Sancho and Hong Lu, but also to the moments where Hong Lu is already the focus.

Three - The phrasing the Priest uses to refer to whoever he's comparing to Lorenzo.

The way he addresses this person and the rest of the group is very interesting, as there's emphasis put on his choice of the word "friends" to describe them. This feels important, as earlier on, in Part 1, Hong Lu himself denies Xichun's assessment that the Sinners are his faction, deliberately calling them his friends. Just like here the Priest calls the people accompanying the one he's directing the story at their friends.

So... what does that all mean for Hong Lu to be directly compared to Lorenzo? Well, let's take a quick look at what Lorenzo's story is.

Lorenzo is initially described as a Bloodfiend filled with positivity, to the point that the Priest thinks he didn't have anything to actually confess for. We see him think the way he's able to eat so many hemobars in one sitting as impressive, seeming completely oblivious to the the fact it's a clear sign the hemobars do nothing for Bloodfiends nutritionally.

This attitude completely changes however after Lorenzo tastes blood for the first time. He completely loses himself to obsession, spending hours licking a syringe just to be able to taste it. He completely loses his hope in the hemobars, having the drastic realization they do nothing, and lamenting how much longer he has to keep on living like this.

The story ends with the Priest remarking that after that shift, the only time he had seen Lorenzo genuinely happy was when he was about to be buried alive, when his head and brain were already completely decimated to the point he should be dead.

This... is already a lot.

Lorenzo's initial attitude, his positivity and naive belief that the hemobars are good despite the evidence to the contrary, are extremely close to how Hong Lu is right now. Upbeat, oblivious, always assuming the best of others. Hong Lu's passively suicidal tendencies could also track to Lorenzo's ending, how it's clear that Hong Lu is extremely willing to accept his own death.

...And then there's the whole middle of that story. There's a lot of different things this could be foreshadowing for Hong Lu's arc, but one thing is clear - he's not going to stay his upbeat self forever.

Every hint we've had about Hong Lu thus far. The implication he knows there's something that could make him distort all the way back in Hell's Chicken. The way we're told this Canto that Hong Lu's eye is dimming right after he comments how Donqui's twinkling eyes show she's "lucid", or living completely detached from reality. And then this, him being directly compared to a story of a Bloodfiend who upon finally being hit with reality begins to spiral and completely lose all his hope.

It all points to the idea that Hong lu will be forced to face his reality. To understand that his hemobars do jack shit and always have, that perhaps his family have never truly cared for him. And that realization could very well be the thing that finally breaks him.

I mean, his IDs already point to it, no? After all, Fanghunt Lu, possibly the most violent and deranged Hong Lu ID released thus far, one released alongside this part mind you, is shown to be actively thinking about and doubting the nature of family. "What even is a real family, I wonder?"

I'm just saying, if there's any Sinner who deserves to go utterly apeshit in their Canto, it would be Hong Lu. Let. My guy. Break Everything.

#ask #anon #lu speaketh #limbus company #hong lu lcb #canto 7 part 2 #canto 7 spoilers #canto 7 part 2 spoilers #lcb analysis #lcb speculation #im soooo normal

160 notes · View notes

vanillaxoshi · 1 year ago

Note

Septuplet au

Sibling competition part 5

" I can't believe that we didn't make it! "

"It's my fault Daun. Sorry. "

Daun and Tanah didn't make it to the second round.

Daun succes grab the cap but Tanah failed to slove the question.

"It's alright Tanah, you tried. "

"Yeah ! That's right. Don't be sad ,you can rest now . "

Comes from Petir and Daun who are able to join the final round.

"Argh! I can't understand the question !"

"I mean! What is 'What animals that have the most weirdest part on them in the world? Please name 3 of them. '. "

"It takes me too long to figure it out. "

Tanah facepalming himself with annoyance.

"Welp it can't be helped ! It seems like Cahaya and Fang got into the final round ! He's sure a tough one for manage to get the cap form me ! "

Angin suddenly appeared behind the group.

"Gah! Angin? Why are you here? "

"My job as a 'Truoblemaker ' are done so I can do whatever I want now ! "

"So...... Do you guys want to hear what happened earlier before Fang got back to the field ? Or you guys know already ?"

"Huh? What are you talking about? "

"Oh right ! We forgot told Tanah and Petir about this !"

"???"

"So earlier Fang just -"

"Alright everyone! Who's ready for the final round?!?!"

"Now everyone! The final game is three legged race! Both of you need to tie one of your legs together with one of the the ribbon you got on the first round! "

"You all need to reach the flags as a check point and tie the remain ribbons on them !"

"Frist you have to reach the red flag frist then the green one! After you tie the ribbons you have to reach the finish line for the end! "

"I'll give you guys time to prepare! The race starts once everyone is ready! Good luck!! "

"Alright ! Let's do our best! So do you want left or -huh?."

"Errr... are you ok Haya? You look .....Stress out? "

Fang watch Cahaya keep looking around him as anxiously rubbing his arms.

"Um......Fang? Can we go line up at different places away from here? I feel like my brother is watching me . I don't want to face them now. "

Fang also look around him and spotted Petir far away.

"Of course we can, let's go Haya. "

"Thanks, Fang ....."

"Come on ! Petir ! What's so hard to talk with Cahaya and Fang ? It's not like you guys have fight or something ! "

"......."

"Wait? You guys are actually have fight? "

"Long story Api ."

" I want to apologize to Haya and Fang. "

"And thanks Fang for standing up for him. "

"Apologize for what ?"

"I feel bad for what I just said to Haya and what I said about Fang. "

"But now Haya avoid us now ! Iet them have space for now ! "

"I know ! It just......I don't know what to do now. "

"Let's focus on the race now Petir, everyone else are almost finish preparing. "

"Ok........ "

"We're almost there Haya! Keep going! "

"I know! I'm trying! "

The race have started ,the competitors are all rushing to the flag to tie the ribbon on it . It was hard to get near it because of the people and the movement are limited.

But Fang and Cahaya mange to tie the ribbon far distance by making the ribbon to a makeshift rope dart by tie a rock on the end of the ribbon . Successful able to throw the ribbon from distance and remain still on the flag.

Now Fang and Cahaya are on the way to the finish line. With Petir and Api who are in front up ahead them.

"Fang! We are falling behind ! "

" I can't keep up rhythm right ! "

Cahaya and Fang starts to fall behind as they can saw the others coming from behind.

Cahaya is exhausted, he doesn't think that he still have the strength to keep up. So he make a risky idea with Fang.

"Hey, Fang? "

"Yes? "

"I can't see Haya and Fang now ,it seems like they can't keep up. "

Api inform Petir.

"That's good. "

"Well it seems like we can win the first - wait ? what?

Api lets out a disbelieving tone that makes Petir turn his head to check what happened. Now he only see Cahaya and Fang are coming form the behind - Wait...... Is Fang carrying Cahaya?

Fang is carry Cahaya by wrapping his arm around Cahaya's waist while Cahaya is grabbing one of his leg that didn't tie together making Cahaya didn't run with Fang only hanging around the mid air.

"What the -"

"Wait Petir ! Look in front you ! "

"What ?-"

Petir got tripped by a rock and both of them end up fell down.

"So we have our winner here! Cahaya and Fang! Congratulations on winning the competition! "

"Ohhhh-Yeah!!!!!!!! We win Haya!!!!!"

"Oh yes we did!!!!!! "

"Now it's our price for our winner - two tickets to the planetarium and the aquarium! "

"Wait the planetarium and aquarium ? Isn't that -"

"The place that you have been bugging that you want to go? Yes! "

"Wait Fang do you invite me to the competition -"

"For a chance that might get the tickets? That's one of the reasons ! "

"........"

"What's wrong? You don't like -"

"Thank you Fang !!!!!!!!"

"You're welcom-wait Haya! "

Cahaya have launch himself to hug Fang!

"Haya we're sorry for what we said. Please talk with us. "

Cahaya have refused to talk to Tanah and Petir for a week after the competition .

That's a other story before Cahaya wants to go to the aquarium and planetarium with Fang.

After the competition, Angin, Api and Daun have become closer to Fang.

Fang didn't know why but that's alright.

AHHHHHH SO THAT PRIZE IS FOR CAHAYA FANG I SWEAR YOUR SO SWEET

Me trying to picture the image of Fang carrying Cahaya but cant fully understand description:

Also hoping the bros talk again

Cahaya is so petty, bros holding such a grudge

I dont blame him though, and hes like 11? Here right? Still a kid, and will still sulk

After all, he was hurt by what petir and Tanah said to him, its not gonna be easy to forgive and forget.

Also this whole competition story is so lovely i love reading each part

There are grammar mistakes here and there but it was still easy to understand and easy to picture

Your scenarios are always so cute :)

#boboiboy #bbb septuplet au #xoshi asks #xoshi answers #zi lins scenarios #platonic solfang

12 notes · View notes

enchantmentandshadows · 2 years ago

Text

SJM Crackship Month : Forbidden Romance

So my #1 crackship for anyone who doesn't know, is Eris x Nuala. I live and breath for the crackyatch that is Shadowfire.

If you know me, then you know I don't shut up about them and I never will, so this is my contribution for SJM Crackship Month!

SJM Crackship Month - Day 13 - Forbidden Romance

Crackship: Nuala x Eris

@sjmcrackshipmonth

Overdue Kiss

Nuala found herself glancing up again for the third time, her breath catching as amber eyes met her grey. She’d been caught this time, and the quiet chuckle she heard as she looked away confirmed as much. Trouble. She knew he was trouble but she’d long been able to sense there was much more to Eris Vanserra than that, despite how the rest of her friends and family felt about him.

They’d had enough conversations, she’d spent enough time with him to get a sense of him and she wasn’t afraid. Besides, Lucien was nice, why couldn’t Eris be too?

“Nuala?” The school librarian said, giving her a tap on the shoulder and pulling her from her thoughts.

“Sorry.” She said, feeling her cheeks heat at being caught, distracted by Eris Vanserra for the second time in the span of a minute.

“Can you shelve the books on the cart before you go?” She asked, motioning to the cart covered in stacks of books.

“Of course, I’ll get started now.” Nuala said with a nod, anxious to get away and hide. Far from the intense amber eyes that followed her as she disappeared further into the library.

Eris Vanserra sat patiently, pretending to read for all of 30 seconds before getting to his feet and going to find where Nuala had disappeared to. She’d caught his attention long before they ever spoke but he hadn’t dared to approach her. There was no point in trying to make nice with the Archeron’s or anyone in their circle if your last name was Vanserra. Lucien was tolerated only because of his friendship with Elain.

The first time Nuala spoke to him, he waited for the insult or the barbed comments, but they never came. One conversation after another, each a little longer than the last until he finally stopped waiting for things to sour and just let himself enjoy her company. They’d kept things quiet, mostly for their own sanity. There was no love lost between their families, but it didn’t stop him from being drawn to her. Here he was, seeking her out in the middle of the day, at school where anyone might see.

“So embarrassing.” Nuala muttered, pushing the cart around a corner, placing books back in their rightful place one by one. She refused to let her mind wander again, especially to a certain Vanserra. Maybe it would have been easier to get him off her mind if she pretended he was as awful as her family always said. Maybe if she suspected he’d only spoken to her to get a rise out of them, but he’d kept it as quiet as she had. A secret just between the two of them, but it never felt like a dirty secret, something to be ashamed of. It felt special and fragile, like something to be protected and shielded from the outside world.

She hadn’t told him, but Azriel had seen them talking and immediately warned her against him. He wasted no time running down his list of reasons why Eris and his brothers were the scum of the earth and should be avoided at all costs. She’d listened and tucked the information away but in the many times they’d spoken and spent time together, Eris had never shown himself to be anything like Az described.

Yes, he was a smart ass. Snarky and sarcastic, but he was also witty and fun. He was charming and though he might deny it, he could also be very sweet. Nuala wasn’t sure what she’d done to unlock this side of him, but deep down, some part of her knew that this was who he truly was. Being around Eris was just easy and natural and she wasn't going to give that up without good reason.

The one thing Nuala was certain of was that he wasn’t there to see her. He was a student, a Senior with plenty of final exams to study for. Him being there could have absolutely nothing to do with her. True, she’d never seen him study in here before and also true she’d recently let it slip that she worked here during her free period but that wasn’t proof of anything. Eris Vanserra was NOT here to see her.

“Ridiculous.” She sighed, on her tiptoes, struggling to slip a thick volume back onto a high shelf. Her heart raced as a pale hand reached out to help, his skin so warm against hers.

“The book, or you hiding from me?” Eris’ velvety voice teased from behind her. She turned to find those warm amber eyes on her again, and she found that she didn’t mind it. Not his eyes fixed on her, or the dusting of freckles across his nose and cheeks, not his smug smile or the way he leaned against the shelf, towering over her.

“Hiding? From you?” She scoffed. “I didn’t even notice you were here.” She lied with a smirk that drew a matching one from Eris.

Beautiful, she was absolutely beautiful, Eris thought. And though she’d played it shy earlier, she was clearly feeling playful now, and he loved her like this.

“But since you’re here, make yourself useful?” She asked, motioning to the cart of books.

“Since you asked so nicely.” He grinned, following her with the cart, watching her every graceful move. He wasn’t sure how it happened, how he’d let himself fall for someone so out of his reach but he didn’t regret it. She might, for wasting her time on someone like him but he knew he’d never regret her.

“Can I help you find a book?” She asked, daring a glance over her shoulder before replacing a few more books on the shelf.

“Nuala…” She could hear the smile in his voice, and the warning. It made her heart flutter in her chest. He was feeling bold today and it inspired a bit of boldness in her too.

“Vanserra.” She smirked, turning to face him, arms crossed over her chest.

His grin widened, brows raised in surprise as he closed the distance between them. One of them would back down, they always did when there were other people around.

Nuala didn’t turn away, not as his hand threaded through her hair and cradled the back of her head, not as he leaned in and pressed his lips to hers. Eris’ heart thundered in his chest as she tipped her chin up and returned the kiss, silencing his fears and doubts as she always did. Worth it. She was worth any obstacles he’d have to deal with to stay in her life.

Nuala didn’t flinch when the books she held thudded to the floor, her hands now steadily moving up Eris’ chest. She didn’t care that anyone could have walked by and seen them. She’d already made up her mind that Eris was worth the risk and if her family found out, she would tell them so and they would deal with it together.

#sjmcrackshipmonth23 #sjmcrackshipmonth #shadowfire #nuala x eris #eris x nuala #acotar crackship #crackyatch #eris vanserra #nuala

21 notes · View notes

okaynowwha-t · 2 years ago

Text

I am clearly not the level of Fandom that I once was bc I like the bear and I wanted to see some deep dives into character arcs but all I can find is ppl wanting to fuck carmy. i get it but this man is traumatized and not in the cute way. like is this a joke he couldn't commit to the one relationship handed to him on a platter and talked to and about her like she was his therapist. he very well mightve been a virgin before meeting Claire, and based on his backstory and the way he talks about committing to a relationship with her makes me think that he never even had a girlfriend before her. this man doesn't fuck. I'll give you that he looks like he has the potential to fuck, but Carmen Berzatto does not currently "fuck". others advertised this as the "hot linecook" TV show but what I watched was a traumatized introverted man who had set off out of school with the singular vision of becoming a chef, focused exclusively on success, and then his brother killed himself. like we start there.

please oh my god he is screaming for help and his trauma can't be fucked away. I have so many thoughts about Sydney and Carmen's relationship and how so deeply neither of them is ready for any sort of romance in that way.

starting with Sydney, she wouldn't even tell Carmen that her mom was dead until months into knowing him, when the Bear was nearlt open, even though he did try to gently prompt information from her. She avoids anything to do with a deep and serious emotion, her passion is singular and focused, much like Carmy was when he was at Noma and the French Laundry. When she said "that's a little too personal" when Carmy started opening up about his trauma, she brushed it off like a joke but it seemed like she made that joke to deflect from anything personal. she is avoidant and her respect of Carmy is purely artistic at that point. She just so happened to intersect with Carmen during one of the least focused moments of his life. She wanted to meet the Carmen who worked at Noma, even though he was absolutely going through it then, she doesn't get that version.

She also sticks her nose in places where it doesn't belong, has a sense of slight sense of superiority to overcompensate for a crippling performance anxiety, analytical, detached, impatient, yet also freely giving of praise when it's due. Make no mistake, the Bear is Sydneys, Carmen is only in this on the level of reanimating a corpse, Sydney is the soul breathing into it.

Now Carmen is sweet by nature but hard due to circumstance. Hard because of his upbringing, his drive. He desperately seeks approval from those he loves and can't stand to ask for help. the way he talks about Claire makes me feel like she's his first girlfriend ever. He was too busy on the grind to stop for a moment and let that sort of tenderness in. he's not used to it. which is why he sort of leans on her for emotional support instead of actually really getting to know her and connect with her on that level. She's a figurehead, an anywoman, someone who loves him and that's enough for her.

I think from the moment that Sydney mentioned the veal fat, Carmen had a deep respect for her. He really begins to see her as an equal because what the fuck it took Luca an entire year to figure it out, and Carmen hadn't figured it out at that point. she knew it off the top of her head. He hired her because of her business skills but he entrusted her because of his need to emotionally lean on people. when he left to go to that AL anon meeting, he was leaning in her in a more distant way that he will eventually do with Claire. And after he's shut down by Sydney as he starts opening up, he still leans on Sydney to shoulder a lot of his pain.

Carmen just shocks Nat by saying jarring shit about his trauma about how he almost burned down his apartment and how he used to throw up before work every day, and that's how he leans on her. By dumping that shit on Nats lap, in a casual cry for help. He needs help, he has needed help his entire life and Sydney comes in, proves herself to be his equal, and he respects her as an artist. He literally doesn't know how to interpret that feeling in himself if it did translate into romance.

the last thing these characters need to do is fuck. if they have a deep emotional conversation where Carmen is stable enough to allow Sydney the space to feel comfortable with sharing some of her deep personal feelings, like where he can actually shoulder some of that for her, then both characters will have healed enough to entertain the potential of considering Any kind of romantic relationship, let alone one with each other.

they are so career driven that they don't have the eye for anything else, they wouldn't know to consider something like that. so if they do end up together, they would be absolutely floored with the realization of their emotions, it would blindside them and potentially derail them if it's not reciprocated. and my bet is that Carmy falls first. Hard. for the wrong reasons. tries to get Sydney to shoulder not only the responsibility of the bear but also the responsibility of his emotions.

and I think that he'll make her co-owner, but only once their debt has cleared so she doesn't compound her already existing debt

I have so many more thoughts on this I'll get back to you

#the bear fx

3 notes · View notes

gretelfrei · 1 year ago

Note

OK HI i DO NOT mean this as a personal attack to OP or whatever. but. as with how insane i am about this game it was inevitable that my frustration with this post was going to reach a breaking point and to be honest this is for my own peace of mind and just because the misinformation was bothering me but anyway.

i genuinely don't see how this post disproves the view that 'soushin is a toxic ship' so i wrote a response to OP's points. (again i stress i mean no hate to you, dont take this personally, everyone obviously has their own opinions, interpretations etc. and i respect that.)

with that said !! my opinions on why this doesn't do anything to prove soushin isn't problematic/my general issues with this post (under cut cause this is long)

i'll format this post as my responses to each of the main points made in the original post. for reference anything in bold is from the original post.

“Shin saw Midori like an older brother”

Actually agreed on this one. Totally valid and true.

“Midori groomed Shin”

Shin is canonically 21-22 years old while Midori’s age isn’t stated, but since they were in highschool together it can be assumed he wasn’t all that much older than him.

Okay, so first off this is an extremely misleading way of phrasing this. “They were in highschool together” completely avoids the fact that midori didn't even go to shin’s school (said in the quote "I only found this out later, but... He wasn't even a student at my school." - of which a screenshot was included so that kind of confused me), so therefore doesn’t confirm anything about his age, apart from that he was at such an age where he could pass for a highschooler, so, doesn't actually confirm anything. Also as with many points from this post, midori being the same age as shin doesnt make their relationship any better.

Also, key word: assumed. The original poster disproves common interpretations of shin and midori's relationship by saying how the ‘antis’ base this all off of assumptions (and without getting into the fact that we have so little 100% confirmed information on their relationship/past that it is inevitable that people will have to make assumptions at some point) yet they made an assumption here to prove their own point. Very hypocritical and not holding himself to the same standards.

Midori changed to Shin’s school so that he could get his signature but he also became his friend in order to make the Shin AI. He could have easily just been a highschooler himself.

True, but also, nothing more than one possible interpretation. This doesnt actually prove anything.

Many people who say Midori groomed Shin say that he groomed him into believing he had to leave himself behind and that is why he took on Midori’s persona in the death game when it’s clearly not the case in canon.

Agreed here. Shin is probably a chronic overthinker and it is clear that his imagination runs wild especially since, you know, being put in a death game with 0% chance of survival.

“And you… should become the person you want to be, so you can meet them proudly.”

This dialogue is part of Shin’s lost memory, where they are talking about Shin’s wish to meet his lost sibling. It’s one of the only shown scenes of Shin and Midori pre-canon, and he’s clearly being supportive and wanting Shin to be happy with himself.

Actually not clearly. As said, this is the only scene we have of them pre-canon, so in actuality it gives us very little insight into their actual relationship, let alone a clear one. Just as you have made the inference that midori is “clearly being supportive” of shin, someone else could make the inference that this is not genuine, which, being backed up by other hints about their relationship in game, is just as valid an assumption to make as was yours, so, in short, that proves nothing.

People often assume that Shadsou is another consequence of Midori’s impact on Shin, as if he isn’t his own character who can make his own decisions. This fandom often waters down his character and infantilizes him like this.

This is also just another assumption? It is perfectly reasonable to think shin’s character is influenced by someone who was a very central part to his life and character arc. Taking this viewpoint doesnt automatically mean that shin isnt making his own decisions, or that this thought process did not start with shin himself. Acknowledging that a character can be influenced by someone else doesn’t infantilise them. Weird point to make. Also doesnt even have much bearing on this topic because shadsou is, as OP said, most likely another version of shin (in a roundabout way - his thoughts. ykwim it's literally his shadow).

"Midori is Shin’s abuser”

The reality is that Midori and Shin’s relationship is ambiguous

Agreed. It is ambiguous.

Saying that Midori abused Shin is an unsubstantiated claim so it’s just a headcanon, not saying you can’t have that but again, you can’t be claiming it’s fact.

OP say this here but most of their points to ‘disprove’ such claims are also unsubstantiated assumptions about their relationship. Again, the hypocrisy is showing.

This is the cg where Midori is encouraging Shin to be someone he’s proud of. Not very abusive guys.

As is the emerging theme with many of her points, this also means absolutely nothing. We know from midori’s past interactions with other characters that he was ‘encouraging’ and ‘supportive’ of them too (take for instance midori’s role as gin’s school counsellor(i dont remember if that was the exact role but that's not relevant here, ykwim), but very obviously had shallow intentions towards them. While the situation is clearly not the same with shin, as midori does seem to have a strange sort of attachment/affection towards him (more on this later), this just goes to show that it would certainly not be any sort of great leap to assume that midori’s words towards shin are ingenuine.

“But it’s implied to be abusive”

Midori’s mannerisms are scary.

OP is just stating a fact here, this doesnt prove/disprove anything.

Shin finding Midori to be scary doesn’t mean he abused him.

As unbelievable as this may be, this is not the only implication that their relationship is not healthy. Also, proving that midori didnt abuse him doesnt make this healthy. I fail to see the point. Relationships can be unhealthy without involving all out abuse. A narrow minded take here.

People claim that it has deeper meaning but really it comes down to how you want to interpret it.

Yes, this is true, but the fact that this is the last quote from that screenshot OP talks about genuinely baffles me. It skips out the entirety of “but whenever i looked into his eyes… i felt really restless… i was so scared, i started sweating, i got anxious…” and while i know this doesnt necessarily ‘prove’ anything, if you are perceiving this as a normal and healthy relationship i dont know what to tell you. Also, she fails to address possibly the most concerning aspect of this, being “he really seemed to enjoy seeing me like that…”. ?????????????????????????? to me that seems obvious that the way midori viewed/treated shin was not normal, as it literally says he seemingly enjoyed seeing shin ‘scared’ and ‘anxious’ because of him. And yes, there is the argument that it was because of midori’s research into human emotion and such, so of course he liked to see shin in an anxious state (he liked to push humans to their breaking points, of course), and that it was nothing about shin specifically that brought on this behaviour. And i would agree with that, but, regardless of the reasoning, that is still, clearly, unhealthy and not normal behaviour. The whole point of ‘oh, midori is only like this because of asu naro' etc. is completely irrelevant because that doesn’t make any change to his actual behaviour being unhealthy.

Midori’s odd mannerisms towards Shin could just be how he shows his love. awww. isnt that so sad

Sure, its sad, whatever. That doesnt automatically make his actions okay. This point is irrelevant. Just because someone has reasons for acting the way they do doesn’t make that fine. Someone can have justified and explainable reasons for acting in a bad way, and still be acting in a bad way? Im going to be honest this point really confuses me because its just stating the obvious, and doesnt mean anything in terms of this topic.

...It’s gotten to the point where people like this dear anon believe these things to be true!

While a lot of what you say here is true, the fact that midori ‘is not an abuser’, ‘is not a groomer’, etc. does, in no way shape or form, mean that the relationship between the two is a healthy one. Relationships are complicated, and this one in particular seems to be a very complex one, with many interpretations, but i think what is important to remember is that, whether you claim this ship to be healthy (which i think is overwhelmingly clear that is is not, even with your so-called ‘debunking’) or view it as unhealthy, the confirmed information we have as of right now on their relationship and past is very vague, and very ambiguous. OP claims that soushin ‘antis’ build their dislike for this ship only on assumptions about their relationship, yet he does the exact same thing here in his attempt to discredit them. I agree with him on certain points, as in, it is nowhere confirmed in game that midori abused shin, or something of that nature, but just because that is not confirmed does not mean the ship is healthy, as OP seems to imply that it is. It is not a simple fact of ‘midori is shin’s abuser, or he isn't’. Relationships are far more complex than that, especially so in a game with nankidai’s writing.)

I would like to be clear now that my aim here wasn’t to definitively prove to you, or anyone reading, that soushin is a toxic ship (although that is my opinion of it), and i instead just wanted to point out the many inaccuracies and hypocrisies in your ‘disproving’ of that view of soushin. A lot of what you said is either not true, irrelevant, or missing out on important factors. I dont mean to personally attack you in any way, as this whole post was mostly for my own peace of mind because it was bothering me that this post seems to say soushin isn't 'problematic'.

As for your last point, I fully agree, and many people do, (in some ways) inevitably, base their view on this ship off of certain people’s (non-canon) interpretations online, although that does not mean this ship is not toxic.

i am kind of insane about this game, my apologies for any passive-aggressiveness

Anyway, I hope we get to see more of the past between these two characters in shin's past episode.

OKAY wow im done now. sorry for this horrifically long post this was entirely self-indulgent.

u said ur not a proshipper and stuff but isnt soushin a proship tho.... abuser x victim>???? and shin saw midori like the older brother he didnt have../??? /gen

Originally I wasn't going to respond to this, I thought it was funny so I giggled at it with my friends and I thought that would be it. But I realized this is a wonderful opportunity to write a really long post disproving these theories that this fandom insists are canon. I’ll start by debunking some common arguments. I put a lot of effort into this and am actually using proper grammar IM SERIOUS GUYS!!! This is really long by the way

“Shin saw Midori like an older brother”

I’ll get this argument out of the way first because it’s weak, it’s a common trope in media where relationships are described as familial to show the closeness of the relationship. Even so, Shin probably said that because he looks up to Midori and respects him. If you just want to see them as having a brotherly relationship, that’s fine, but this argument doesn’t stand for calling Soushin proship.

“Midori groomed Shin”

I honestly have no idea where this theory even came from. Some people say that Midori preyed on Shin and that he was much older, while it’s more likely they are both in the same age range. Shin is canonically 21-22 years old while Midori’s age isn’t stated, but since they were in highschool together it can be assumed he wasn’t all that much older than him. Not saying you can’t headcanon that they aren’t, but you shouldn’t push your headcanons as canon to insist Soushin is proship. Midori changed to Shin’s school so that he could get his signature but he also became his friend in order to make the Shin AI. He could have easily just been a highschooler himself. Midori is an Asu-Naro agent and from what we know about them they have used underaged people for labor (eg. Kai, Sei, Hinako). If the common theory that the silhouette in Kai’s mini episode being Midori’s mom is true, it’s probable that he grew up similarly to Kai and Sei, being made to do Asu-Naro’s bidding as children. It’s not like you need the credentials of an adult to give out contracts. You could also make the argument that Midori must be older because he worked as a nurse and school counselor while trying to get participant signatures, but one could argue Asu-Naro has the connections to get him in such a position without schooling or even have higher levels of schooling to get the education in a shorter timespan. But I’m getting off topic. Many people who say Midori groomed Shin say that he groomed him into believing he had to leave himself behind and that is why he took on Midori’s persona in the death game when it’s clearly not the case in canon. It was Midori who wanted Shin to be the best version of himself.

“And you… should become the person you want to be, so you can meet them proudly.”

Here ‘???’ is the shadow version of himself, he is having an inner conflict of interest. Commonly referred to as Shadsou, is the actual reason Shin took on Midori’s persona. What Shadsou is exactly is ambiguous but generally it’s the personification of Shin’s devil's advocate. People often assume that Shadsou is another consequence of Midori’s impact on Shin, as if he isn’t his own character who can make his own decisions. This fandom often waters down his character and infantilizes him like this.

“Midori is Shin’s abuser”

Again, another headcanon people insist is canon. The reality is that Midori and Shin’s relationship is ambiguous and it hasn’t been explored much in canon. Soushin can be explored in many different ways because of how vague their relationship is. Saying that Midori abused Shin is an unsubstantiated claim so it’s just a headcanon, not saying you can’t have that but again, you can’t be claiming it’s fact.

This is the one cg we have of Midori and Shin pregame btw:

This is the cg where Midori is encouraging Shin to be someone he’s proud of. Not very abusive guys.

“But it’s implied to be abusive”

This is usually the evidence they use for the implication:

“He’s… a scary friend of mine…”

Midori’s mannerisms are scary. It isn’t just Shin who thinks that he is, he’s one of the main antagonists of the game. Shin finding Midori to be scary doesn’t mean he abused him.

“Though I learned a lot of things at his house…”

It’s insane to me that people use this as evidence but, this is clearly about Midori teaching him how to code. People claim that it has deeper meaning but really it comes down to how you want to interpret it.

There are multiple points where Midori is shown to feel affection in strange ways. It’s possible he didn’t understand ordinary forms of affection, similarly to Kai who was deprived of affection growing up as an agent. Midori’s odd mannerisms towards Shin could just be how he shows his love. awww. isnt that so sad

Many people call Midori Shin’s abuser and claim Soushin is proship without proper canonical proof. A lot of people who kin Shin project onto their relationship and insist that it’s abusive because their bias rooted from their own trauma and experiences clouds their perception of Shin. This happens along with people infantilizing Shin and excusing all of his actions by blaming the supposed ‘grooming’ or ‘abuse’ he experienced from Midori. This is just a common problem with mischaracterization of Shin and Midori by the fandom. It’s gotten to the point where people like this dear anon believe these things to be true!

Then there's the people who ARE proshippers and insist that Soushin is abusive or pedophilic because they want it to be and are looking at them with that lens of thinking. These people greatly help spread the idea that Soushin is a proship, making it much harder to discern canon from fanon when much of the Soushin content is by these people, specifically outspoken adult western fans that praise proship and advocate out for Soushin being problematic, that's what the general fandom now sees it as even though it’s just not canonically happening.

At the time of posting this, Shin’s minisode has yet to come out. I’m sure that once it does it will give a much clearer view of their relationship, maybe I’ll have more to say then! For now, that is all I’ve got for you tumblr.

#yttd #your turn to die #kimi ga shine #soushin #shin tsukimi #sou hiyori #midori yttd #i never write big posts like this sorry if the wording is confusing

151 notes · View notes

everafterkeiji · 4 years ago

Text

meet me at our spot ft. rindou haitani

"It's Y/N's birthday." Rin whispers, a hand to his chest, feeling the way his heartbeat was suddenly bothered by the sound of your name. Ran sighs, covering his eyes with a pillow. "You're both 18 now." The eldest says out of interest from the grasp of exhaustion.

"Yeah. 18." Rin repeats for himself as if he was deep in denial, buried in all that youth he seemed to miss from the timelines where he stayed to keep his name a threat. His fingers continuously tap against the thin material of his sweater until his brother spoke.

"So what are you gonna do?"

"When I turn 18, let's meet here again." You beamed, at the age of 13 just to make ends meet with young Rindou who only wanted to leave and forget you already. "That's lame. I don't even know if I'll remember you." He disses but seeing how unfazed you were, he pushes his glasses to keep it clsoe to his ear.

"I don't care as long as I get to see you at least once and besides! It's not like you'd even recognize me when we're older!" You boasted, crossing your arms to your chest as he rolls his eyes. His hands rakes from his nape to his hair while you suddenly grabbed his hand.

"H-hey!" He stammered when you robbed him off the ring on his middle finger, wearing it for yourself with your hand extended out to admire it. "Bring it back." He demands and you shake your head, your back turned to him.

"This is living proof that I knew you, okay? I'm not gonna return it. I have to get going anyway. See you when I'm 18, Rindou Haitani!"

Until now, he doesn't know why his memory unclogs when it came to you. Even if a few moments were blurry to him, all he can see was that permanent smile of yours despite the fact that he only remembered you for being a menace to his childhood since he was always hesitant to stay close—how could he stay with someone like that anyway? You weren't important or at least you shouldn't be but when he got to juvie, you consumed his mind, running on it every day for no proper reason.

"I don't know." He answers truthfully, kicking his legs off the mattress to slip on his shoes, conflicted between the emotions he's experiencing. "I'll be back." Rin informs his brother and the last thing he hears is a hum while he grabs a jacket from the rack close to the door before he's locking it and letting his feet walk through the night.

Rumors spread that you were back in town but he didn't want to hear a single sound of it. It wasn't even a rumor—he got that information through the works of observing the place you grew up in, ears suddenly growing when your name was tossed around here and there but you weren't famous for your success—Rindou figured out you were known for something that has drastically changed.

"I've always wanted to lead people." You said, plucking every petal out of its center, allowing it to fall beside you. "You? I thought your dream was going to school." He argues.

"That's my mom's dream but if someone was to look up to me, I think that's better."

"But you're smaller than me?"

He purses his lips at the fun you two must've had if he wasn't so stern and avoided any means to stay a friend to you. For him, he did enjoy it. He loved to see your expression drop when he said something out of the ordinary or when he'd tease you and you two would go on for hours just to prove each other's point. Unfortunately, by the end of it, he was exposed to Roppongi and he was soaking in the bliss of being feared of to the point it dreaded your path to stray from him.

"If you stop acting like a little girl then you would've beat them!" He ranted, nostrils heaving from anger while you rubbed your eyes. "You—I did win! What, Rin? I can't cry cause I took a punch to the nose?"

"You're a wimp." He calls you as your anger drops, only to send a slap to his face and by the loud impact of its sound, Ran comes to the room pulling you both away with a tight hand wrapped around your wrist. "Oi, what do you think you're doing!" You ignored the scold that's coming from the oldest, choosing to point a finger to Rindou with a scowl before you spoke.

"I don't wanna care for you but I do."

He sighs, digging his hands to his pockets as he stood at the top of the small hill, gazing at the moon. "Why is it you?" He asks for himself like he was trapped in an endless maze.

"Seems like you kept your promise."

You smiled at him, resembling your smaller self who couldn't even reach his height. Rindou's eyes dart towards you, mouth agaped at the voice and every part of you felt like it was surreal—a possible effect of being too awake at 12:56am.

"Y.. Y/N?" He utters out of bewilderment while you chuckled. "I'm surprised that you remember me, well, I didn't even know you'd be here."

You didn't wanna let your eyes travel too far from his own because once you do, you'd be doomed for the sake of welcoming the night. You were already masking your own shock through your kindness, aware that he might see pass your facade that you weren't calm with the reunion of the boy who you swore was the one you'd be beside with as time goes by.

"I... happy birthday, Y/N." Rindou bids, unexpectedly flustered when you faced each other like you did when you were kids. He then notices the difference between you two. The height, the length in hair, the shaping of your features, the tattoos decorating your skin from the lose shirt and jacket but he's too immersed in the realization that you were right. It's not like you'd even recognize me when we're older! You reminded him once.

Are you really my Y/N? He thinks but once he lets the subconscious voice ponder on him, he blushes at what he just mentally said. My?

"You look um good." You complimented him, awkwardly shifting your gaze to the trees as if they held some bright light that was enough to interest you.

"I should be the one saying that." He tells you but again, he purses his lips when he kept misunderstanding his own words as you laughed. "So I look good too, Rin?"

Rin. He missed the way it'd roll of your tongue, in contrast to how his brother calls him, yours had more of a touch to it—laced in reminiscence and the warmth of young kids out in the sun.

"It's been a while." You sighed as he gulps, confused at how every drift of your voice was affecting him. "Yeah, well you're 18 now."

"Right. I can't believe it either... especially when you're here." The eerie panic in his heart doubles at your last words even if you lowered down your voice for him to forget you ever said something. He takes a single step closer to you, as slow as he can just to minimize the space he's been eager to break. "Did you miss me that much?" He jokes, nudging you lightly.

"Missing you is a problem, Rini." You answered him, eyes fixated on the city view ahead because you knew what he'd say but for the first time, his words are caught on his throat, holding him hostage with his mind as white as a sheet of paper from being too blank with no intention to write anything down on it. It worsens when it resonates to him the long lost nickname he used to despise but now, it had a nice ring to it.

"You look so different, Y/N." He randomly points out, the filter to his output of sentences losing its function. "It's—good. You-" Rindou could see glimpses of your past self to where you stood now. A spontaneous kid who simply wanted to be a rolemodel for others, a kid who cared about him even when they'd be caught in their mess—a kid he let go.

"You're pretty." Rin admits wholeheartedly like he poured all those messy thoughts into two words that still weren't capable to showcase just how he's missed the time where he wasn't with you. "Have I always been pretty or only today?" You teased when you noticed how tense he was.

"Always been." He responded, taking two more steps closer to you and now he stood beside you, arm to arm while both of you didn't have a single clue how to assure yourself to remain composed. "I don't have a gift for your birthday." He comments.

"I think... this is enough." Then that's where Rindou's hand tried to feel for yours, dainty movements for your fingers to touch his but it was too much of a big move even for him, something done out of his hearts leadership. "And you don't have to get me anything. I don't have any plans for later anyway." You explained.

"This is our spot, isn't it? Let's catch up with each other—for real this time, Y/N."

"Then-then spend the day with me." He struggled while your eyes landed on him and with the shine from the stars mirroring onto your pupils, Rindou sighs with a smile, grabbing onto your hand to walk you down the hill, fulfilling his younger selves wish to be able to sweep you off your feet.

And from the grasp of your hand, he saw his ring onto your middle finger, indeed proving that you stepped into his life.

"And that's okay with you, Rin?"

"I'm just making sure I keep my promise and I don't intend to forget you ever again."

A/N: the song has been on repeat for a while so let me feed y'all the brainrot I've been having

TOKYO REV : @strawberrieas @kwrg @raya-sano @kimrena-stuff @heavensbeloved @rosewood1999 @beezebub @l-luci @bekky06 @keiisukebaji @manjiroarchiviste @smileysmileysmiley @tendo-shairdye @toshiswifey @thispenguinrocks @kleesboom

OVERALL: @stesphy @itsmeaudrieee @crapimahuman @meguroshi @floydenai @dai-tsukki-desu

841 notes · View notes

bethanydelleman · 2 years ago

Note

Have you ever read the Mansfield Park fanfiction Everingham by Katharine T (katharhino)? If you did, I'd be curious to know your thoughts about it.

I have. It's a decent Mansfield Park variation. The author seems to have a pretty good handle of the characters and the plot moves well. It is a gripping read.

However, this is a bit of a difficult question. I am aware that Everingham is one of the first MP variations to have Fanny end up with Henry, and as it is unpublished and given the culture around critiquing JAFF, I don’t want to come off as too harsh, but I think this story has some problems.

The timeline for the story is a bit off, Henry was supposed to meet Maria at the Fraser’s party, so he can’t have already met her, formed the plan to flirt, and then decide not to go to the party. Also, his motivations of going to Everingham at the beginning are whimsical or even lust driven, instead of out of a desire to improve himself.

I think the characterization of Mary tends to veer a little into Isabella Thorpe, which is not her character but it’s a common mistake and one that I catch myself making. For example, Mary can’t decide on earrings and throws herself onto the bed in despair. That is Isabella, not Mary. Mary doesn’t do that sort of silly drama.

The biggest issue though is that the story seems to blame Fanny almost, for being too scared (?) to love Henry, instead of rightly blaming Henry for being someone who is not a good choice for a husband. Fanny does tell him what he did wrong (which she doesn't want to do in MP), but then we never have him really examining why his flirtation, especially Maria, was so bad. Or a proper apology. And then later we have this:

“Nevertheless I think Mr Rushworth is quite often jealous where there is no cause” - Henry

Which Fanny accepts! We know as readers that Rushworth was jealous with ample cause and so does Fanny! I really think Henry and Maria sitting cozy on the piano should have been a deal breaker for Fanny. To show that Henry is reformed, he should be avoiding Maria and creating proper distance between them, in my opinion.

I really dislike the jealous scene near the end when Fanny talks with Edmund and Henry gets mad at her:

"I find it hard to understand your determination to do what you know will hurt me. If you prefer your cousin's company to mine, very well; but at least have to courtesy to inform me of your whereabouts so I may not be reduced to asking the servants where my wife is." - Henry

She thinks she done wrong! Edmund is her brother-in-law and cousin, she has nothing to be sorry for! And I am not mad at the author, jealousy being shown as a good thing is a common romance trope, but jealousy without cause is actually a toxic relationship trait. After all, Fanny lived at Edmund’s house for a month and nothing happened and she has given Henry no reason to doubt her faithfulness. That isn’t healthy relationship behaviour, it is controlling and isolating.

And then we have this:

"It is not. I hesitate to confess, Fanny, for you will be so shocked," she [Mary] said, laughing. "It is an old dress I had made for winter two years ago, and I turned it and remade it. Do not look at my hem, for it is dreadfully botched. It is my first time turning a dress, but these are the straits we poor clergymen's wives are forced to. Is it not a horrid tale?"

I think people misunderstand Fanny saying Mary will be “poor” in Mansfield Park. Mary will be poor in comparison to her ambitions, but an income of about 1,700 pounds per year is not actually poor even for the gentry, it is similar to Mr. Bennet's income (Thornton Lacery’s 700 per year and Mary’s 20k dowry yielding around 1k/year). And at this point they have no children, so no, Mary does not need to remake a gown.

My personal favourite Mansfield Park variation is Fanny: A Mansfield Park Story by Amelia Marie Logan. Not only does it imitate Jane Austen's style in a way I don't think I've read before, Fanny does not change in her morals, Henry changes to meet her. And it takes a long time, which fits into Fanny's character.

Disclosure: My own Mansfield Park variation comes out next week, it's called Unfairly Caught. I accept criticism of my own works and I am not aiming to tear anyone down in this post. There is so very little Mansfield Park Fan Fiction that I don't feel any need to be competitive.

#mansfield park #jane austen #JAFF #everingham #fanny price #henry crawford #question response #problematic trope of jealousy #I actually thought my grown up relationship should contain bursts of angry jealously because of that trope #That is how pervasive and problematic it is #so I'm not calling out this author but the idea in general #Fanny can talk to her BIL and best friend without being questioned #mary crawford #please understand that I respect this author putting their work out there and I am not attacking them

23 notes · View notes

animeomegas · 4 years ago

Note

Imagine that Sasuke is having problems with his 'future alpha', he doesn't understand some dating methods and ends up 'reluctantly' going to ask Itachi's alpha.He just blushed saying 'I can't believe I'm doing this but I need some advice'.Itachi's alpha comes home late looking happy and Itachi holding his dog asking where he's been.

Anon: I think Sasuke would only start liking Itachi's alpha after they help him stand up to a bigger, stronger, more trained betas and/or Alphas. Because I don't see him as someone who might ask for help from anyone, and his brother's alpha somehow saw them bully him and push him around, so they tell him how to one up those annoying people. (Maybe buy him ice cream or something after). This young Sasuke vs Itachi's alpha thing should be a show, because I'd sell everything I own to watch it.

(Anon 1: This is a big brain idea, anon, thank you for your service 🤭 I changed it a little, how that's okay!)

(Anon 2: I think you're absolutely right that Itachi's alpha does something big for Sasuke when he's at a low point, and it ends up changing their relationship for the better in a lot of ways. I decided not to go with bullying though, because Sasuke seemed to fit this scenario moreso. Also, ahhh, I'm so happy you're liking this mini series!!!!! I'm having so much fun writing it and it fills me with joy that other people are enjoying it just as much!!!)

...

Okay, so, Sasuke has never been the most intuitive when it comes to emotions. And he’s also never been great at acknowledging or learning about culture surround a/b/o dynamics because he’s always been adamant that he doesn’t care for it or need it.

But now Sasuke is starting to think that may have been a mistake. Because things are going wrong with this whole courting situation (that Sasuke still can’t believe is happening to him.)

Things were fine! But now the alpha courting him is getting colder and not wanting to train as much, and Sasuke doesn’t know what’s changed! He’s angry and upset about it.

He’s been brooding for about a week about the whole situation, but now he’s decided to ask someone for advice.

His friends are useless. His mother just laughed and told him it would work out if it was supposed to. Shisui is on a mission. He’d rather die than ask Kakashi sensei. So, unfortunately, he had to ask his brother, even though he was sure to get some embarrassing and invasive questioning from him. The sadist.

So, he goes to see his brother.

Who isn’t there.

His brother’s alpha tells him that Itachi is out with their pup all day running errands and taking him for his bi yearly check-ups. But Sasuke needs to know what’s going wrong and how to fix this now! He doesn't have time to wait for Itachi to be done with his stupid errands!

His brother’s alpha notices how tense he is and asks if he would like to stay for some tea, and Sasuke accepts before he thinks about what he's doing. Their relationship is much better nowadays but Sasuke can’t help but feel a little awkward around them still.

…

“Here,” they say, sliding two teacups onto the table. “You like green tea, right? It’s the only type we have in, you know what Itachi’s like with tea.”

“Green tea is fine,” Sasuke says politely if a little stiff.

His brother’s alpha sits down at the other side of the couch with their own tea, and the two sit in silence for a bit, each sipping their own tea

“Sasuke,” they say, shooting him a concerned look. “If you need me to go and get Itachi, I can. You don’t look well, he’ll come back in an instant if you ask him to.”

“No,” Sasuke answers quickly. “It’s fine… I…”

Here goes nothing.

“I’m just having a bit of trouble at the moments, is all, and…”

Itachi’s alpha nods, obviously listening intently with a look of concern on his face that is making this both harder and easier for Sasuke at the same time.

“Go on, Sasuke, I’m listening.”

“I’m sure Itachi told you about my… my er situation,” Sasuke starts, wishing he could punch himself in the face for phrasing it like that.

“That someone’s courting you?” they ask gently.

Sasuke only nods, face burning. He can’t count the number of times he’s told Itachi’s alpha to their face that he’d rather die than enter a courtship. This is so awkward, why is he doing this?

“Did they do something to make you uncomfortable, Sasuke?” they ask immediately after seeing his hesitance. “Because if they did, we can sort it out together okay? It’s not your fault.”

“No!” Sasuke immediately protests far louder than he intended too. “They didn’t… They didn’t do anything, I just… I think I did something wrong…”

Sasuke pretends to drink his tea to avoid having to elaborate any more, despite the fact that it’s still too hot.

“What did you do that was wrong?” they ask, voice still quiet and soothing and Sasuke hates how comforting he finds it. Like it or not, his instincts had branded Itachi’s alpha as ‘safe’ many years ago.

“I don’t know,” Sasuke admits, fiddling with the rim of his cup. “They seemed sad one day and I just thought they had a bad day or something, but now they’re… cold.”

“They aren’t behaving how they were behaving before?”

Sasuke shakes his head.

“Is it possible they have an issue at home or with some of their friends? It might be something in their personal life that's upsetting them.”

Sasuke shakes his head again.

“They seem fine when they’re with everyone else…” he admits. “It’s just me.”

Sasuke forces back the burn of tears he can feel behind his eyes. He will not cry. He won’t do it.

His brother’s alpha hums sadly.

“And you want to figure out what happened?” Sasuke nods. “Okay, why don’t you walk me through what happened on the days leading up to the mood change.”

And so Sasuke does.

He tells them all about how they would meet for training every day and Sasuke would bring two bento boxes for lunch, and then they would sometimes go shopping or go out to eat. Things he hasn’t told anyone about yet. And as he's talking, he really can't see what the problem is, everything seems fine! But maybe Itachi’s alpha might know some alpha thing that he doesn't. Sasuke can easily admit that it’s not his forte.

“I see,” Itachi’s alpha says after Sasuke had finished his story. Sasuke’s tea sits cold on the table next to his brother’s mate’s empty cup. “I think I know what happened.”

Sasuke looks up immediately. No way they’ve already figured it out that easily!

“They thought you were rejecting them,” Itachi’s alpha says simply.

“Wha- But…we spent everyday together! How could that be a rejection?!”

“When an alpha is courting an omega,” they start to explain. “They’re trying as hard as they can to prove to that omega that they can be a good mate.”

“I know that,” Sasuke snaps.

“Listen to me for a second, Sasuke," they softly reprimand. "So, when an alpha, particularly a younger one, is courting an omega, they are very sensitive to rejection, they look for it everywhere.”

“Why?” Sasuke asks, dumbfounded.

“Well, when I was courting your brother, we weren’t that much older than you are now, and I remember thinking that he was the most perfect person in the whole world,” their eyes take on a faraway look as they reminisce. “I was so sure that he must have had hundreds of alphas clawing for his attention every day, and so I was desperate to prove to him that I could be a good mate.

“With every gift, on every date, I would watch his reaction to everything, overanalysing every laugh and smile and frown. I loved him so much, but I couldn’t help but think that he would reject me at any moment. He was too good for me, and I knew that. It always felt like he was humouring me, especially at first.”

“That’s stupid.”

“Yeah,” they laugh, unoffended by Sasuke’s harsh tone. “Looking back, I guess it was, but what I’m trying to tell you, is that I can see how some of your actions could have been taken as rejection by a young alpha who was expecting to be rejected.”

“But…” Sasuke says, looking lost. “I didn’t want to reject them, I don’t understand.”

“Here,” they continue patiently. “Let me explain it to you like this. When you went out to eat, you paid for yourself even though they offered, right? Because you didn't want to burden them?"

“Yeah,” Sasuke trails off, unsure what that has to do with anything.

“But to a young, hormonal alpha, you’re basically telling them that you don’t trust them to provide for you, the one thing they are trying most to convince you."

“But I wasn’t-“ Sasuke protests.

“I know you weren’t,” they reassure him. “But that’s the sort of thing that will run through an alpha’s head at that age when courting. Also, you told them you wanted to train with them because you thought they were strong because you wanted to compliment them, right?”

Sasuke blushes but nods.

“And that’s great to start with, but eventually they would probably start to wonder why you wouldn’t want to train just to spend time with them. And you also told them that you had plenty of leftovers to make their lunch with so that they wouldn’t feel like they were burdening you, right? But that just made them feel like you weren’t going out of your way to do something special for them, even though you were. Do you see what I mean now?”

Sasuke blinks, rapidly trying to wrap his head around all this new information.

“And I also have a guess as to what pushed them over the edge into thinking you were rejecting them.”

“What is it?” Sasuke demands. “Tell me.”

“Did they make that scarf for you by hand, Sasuke?”

“Yes,” says Sasuke hesitantly.

“And they scented it?”

Sasuke nods affirmative.

“Did you give anything back?”

“I… Just said thank you… is that not right?”

Itachi’s alpha shakes their head with a patient smile.

“A handmade and scented gift is the most important and meaningful courting gift that there is, Sasuke,” they explain. “It’s what you give to someone to ask them if they want to move from courting to something more serious, to intended mates.”

Sasuke blushes and feels some panic rising in his chest.

“I didn’t know!” he blurts, feeling the need to explain himself.

“I know,” they rush to reassure him. “But the etiquette dictates that the omega, if they wish to move onto that stage, gives the alpha a handmade and scented gift in return, no later than a week after the original gift was given. They must have been very nervous waiting for you, and very upset when you didn’t even let them down softly.”

“It’s been two weeks,” Sasuke whispers, mortified that he had missed something he should have known. This makes so much sense. The sudden depression, the awkwardness at training, the nerves after they had given him the scarf. He’s such an idiot. Against his will, Sasuke starts to feel tears burning at his eyes again. He messed everything up!

“Oh, Sasuke,” they say, scooting closer to him. They hesitantly lay a hand on his leg, and Sasuke makes no move to push them off. “It’s alright, you can fix it.”

“How?” he sniffs, furiously wiping away any tears that manage to escape. “They probably hate me now.”

“Come here,” they say, pulling him into a hug. And for the first time ever, Sasuke accepts a hug from his brother’s alpha.

“It’s alright,” they soothe. “We can fix this, I’ll help you.”

“What can I do?” he questions, feeling miserable.

“You need to make them something and scent it. Then you can explain what happened afterwards, but the gift should go a long way in smoothing over any ruffled feathers. I can help you make something, what do you want to make?”

Sasuke shrugs, still resting his head on his brother’s alpha’s shoulder.

“How about some cupcakes? Itachi and I were planning on doing some baking with the pup tomorrow, so I have all the supplies. And I’m sure we have some ribbon lying around, you can scent the ribbon and use it to tie up the box, how does that sound?”

“But what will you use tomorrow?” Sasuke asks, feeling a little better, but still red in the face.

“I can buy more, Sasuke, don’t worry, but this is a courting emergency, so we have to do it now, okay?”

“Okay.”

…

Itachi comes back from his errands just in time to watch his mate helping his little brother tie a ribbon around a box of cupcakes. The kitchen is covered in baking supplies and empty bowls of batter.

Did they bake cupcakes together?

Itachi can’t believe it. He had been trying to get them to get along better for years.

When Sasuke sees him standing in the door, he blushes and, holding the box of cupcakes to his chest, pushes past him and out the door with a quick nothing more than a quick and murmured greeting.

His pup wiggles in his arms and demands to be put down. He obliges and they immediately run to his alpha for a hug.

“Hey there, buddy, have a good day?”

“It was boring,” they complain. “And the mednin had cold fingers.”

Itachi’s alpha laughs.

“Well, I know something that might make you feel better,” they tease.

“What?! What?!”

“Uncle Sasuke made you something very special,” they say, bringing down a spare cupcake from on top of the counter, iced in his pup's favourite colour. The way his pup’s eyes widen at the sight of it, makes Itachi smile. “You can have it after dinner, okay, and next time we see uncle Sasuke we have to remember to say thank you.”

Itachi watches in amusement as his pup nods furiously and immediately runs off to go wash up for dinner, despite the fact that Itachi hasn’t even started cooking it yet.

“Did you and Sasuke bake together?” Itachi asks, still unbelieving of what he had seen.

You smile, understanding how crazy that must have been for Itachi to walk in on.

“Yes, we… had a little bonding session,” they say. “I’ll tell you about it later, I promise.”

Itachi accepts the answer despite his curiosity and joins his alpha is cleaning the kitchen so that he can start cooking dinner.

And if both of them were smiling too much, well, neither of them brought it up.

#young!sasuke #itachi #uchiha #sasuke #itachi x reader #reader insert #a/b/o #omegaverse #naruto #omega!itachi #alpha!reader #headcanons #gn reader #gender neutral reader #alpha x omega #omega!sasuke

600 notes · View notes

crys-jo · 2 years ago

Text

I SWEAR- the exact moment that Cartman started snapping and being genuinely hateful at Kyle was the very last episode of season 4 and beginning season 5 and I keep telling my brother (who really doesn't care) that before then, Kyle was just being unnecessarily hostile to Cartman and noticing things about him that "bothered him" and it's like, why are you hyperfixating on that?? (Especially the comments about cartman's big fat ass, like, why are you looking there anyway Kyle, why does it matter so much that you feel the need to point it out 🤨) Meanwhile Cartman was just a little obnoxious in his mannerisms and behavior, but overall not an inherently bad person, just an annoying kid, which last I checked, isn't a crime. Most of the hateful things he did prior were just cause of Liane or things taken out of context by the people around him. For the most part he was oblivious to the connotations with, say for example, the costume Liane made for him during Halloween. He just saw it as a 'costume' his mom made for him. He didn't choose it, it was MADE by Liane and GIVEN to him, which is why I don't count it as genuine hate.

Also, the fact that anyone thinks Kyle is good and always has been is so funny to me cause he was anything but. He was so cruel to Cartman in the first few seasons. I know they all were but not as much as kyle.

Back to the actual post, it reminds me of a scene I keep thinking about in s3e12 "Korn's Groovy Pirate Ghost Mystery" when Korn and the boys decide to split up into two groups they have, "everyone who enjoys having obstacles in their life which they can overcome go this way" *pointing to his left* "and everyone who's insecurities sabotage their potential to overcome those obstacles go that way" *points to his right* Stan, Kyle walk over to the left while Eric and Kenny walk over to the right.

I think about that a lot more than is probably normal because it just outright states Kyle loves a challenge, (Cartman does too but I digress) and to me it explains why he's so passionate about Eric, because he sees Eric as the greatest obstacle in his life. (Of course this isn't really new information but bare with me)

In the past, Eric was just minding his own business while Kyle bitched at him, but when Cartman started biting back and actually initiating conflicts with him, that's when Kyle's character naturally starts to change, all in order to properly take on the new challenge in his life; eric cartman.

He didn't change (completely) out of the goodness of his heart, he changed because he loves being challenged and thanks to said love, he naturally gravitated and adapted to eric's new "approach"?? to their dynamic, (whether he'll ever openly admit to it is another story) it's a matter of pride and excitement for him. He likes the feeling of being right, he likes the satisfaction that comes with winning, he likes feeling superior to someone else especially if he feels that they are beneath him (which he often does thanks to his subtle black and white way of thinking), he likes the rush of adrenaline, and he likes stroking his own ego but he hides all of it under the mask of altruism because at least then it makes his obsession with Cartman understandable and like it's for a just and noble cause rather than the selfish truth that he's just absolutely obsessed with him and how he thrives and preens at the prospect of proving eric wrong.

Eric is there to push him in all the right (though everyone else would say otherwise) ways. Nothing inspires Kyle more than when he has a metaphorical puzzle to solve or something to prove, and it just so happens that Eric gives him a way to prove himself every day.

I personally think that's what makes Eric and Kyle's relationship so interesting, because Kyle wants people to think he's a selfless/good person and I think he's actually deluded himself into believing he wholeheartedly is because it allows him to avoid reflecting on why he can't ever seem to back down from even the smallest of conflicts, or at least, the ones involving eric. Eric on the other hand has taken a bit of Kyle's spirit for confrontation back at Kyle, which I believe might've initially been his small way of saying 'fuck you too' to Kyle for all the unnecessary teasing and bullying in the episodes/seasons prior but has now just devolved into this weird and unique relationship they have with each other. However unlike Kyle, cartman's obsession with causing a scene seems to come more from a place of attention seeking. While he also loves a challenge, he just isn't as adept as kyle at dealing with them since he is his own worst enemy. Cartman wants attention, and he knows the best way to get it is to stir some shit.

No one gives him more attention in his life then Kyle and he knows this. Why do you think he's always actively trying to piss him off and get under his skin? Why does everything always come back to Kyle and hardly ever anyone else? He doesn't care if he destroys himself in the process either, because as long as Kyle's full attention is on him and he gets to engage with him and share any small moment of human interaction with him (regardless of if it's healthy or productive) then he still thinks it's worth it and normal/valid to seek out.

Kyle needs to feel challenged/threatened directly or indirectly by Eric in order for him to engage with him for longer periods of time with his full attention due to the way their dynamic is set in place. The boxes they cornered themselves into when they started this mess makes the expectations of their relationship that of constant fighting without end. Anything outside that would be immediately noticed by themselves or the people around them. They would never actively seek each other's attention under normal circumstances because that would be 'weird' and out of character for them, though this doesn't necessarily mean they don't want to, they're still friends at the end of the day.

Thanks to this eric seems to love challenging him. A challenge means guaranteed attention from kyle and to eric that's exciting and quite possibly everything he could ever ask for. I think it adds to the rush they get from each other, with their need to one up each other as a way to feel/look normal about interacting with and being close to each other without it being 'strange' or 'gay'.

Attention is eric's main goal and a challenge is just the super nice bonus he gets from it, as for Kyle it's mostly the other way around. (honestly though bickering can be really fun though, maybe they're both just tsunderes or something and I'm just looking too deep into it lmao)

It's funny because, it could have been anyone. If anyone else challenged Kyle or if anyone else had started giving Eric attention first, things could have been very different but because it's THEM TOGETHER- Kyle with his obsession over Cartman and with craving a challenge, and Cartman with his craving for attention, most importantly Kyle's attention because let's be real that boy has an obsessive crush on him, they just WORK??

They fulfill each other's needs whether they like it or not. Cartman fuels Kyle's ego and gives him excitement and something to look forward to "fixing or solving" or feeling morally superior for, while in return Cartman gets the attention he so desperately craves and lacks, (mostly as a result of his home life and loneliness, which ties back to his insecurities) and because of this, no matter how many fights or people telling them to just "ignore" each other, thats NEVER going to happen. They're always going to come back to each other so long as they stay stuck in their ways. They're codependent on each other, they fundamentally NEED each other. I don't even just mean this in a gay 'oh I ship kyman' way, (that just adds spice to everything nice) but just in general. They NEED each other and they themselves know this deep down. They would feel empty, like something is constantly missing because the reality is there's no way they can function without each other, it's just not an option anymore (if it ever even was). Why do you think they keep saving each other despite constantly stating that the world would be a better place if the other dropped dead? We know this is true from cartman's little rescue mission and how everything literally WASN'T the same without Kyle there. He tried to replace Kyle but it was immediately apparent that butters wasn't Kyle and that no one else, especially in South Park, would ever BE kyle. Kyle himself has changed Cartman in the way that now that he's had a taste of everything Kyle can dish out, he can't go back to anything less.

That fire is non-replaceable; there's no other thing in the world that burns him like Kyle does and the feeling seems to be mutual.

They would never admit it even if they were held at gunpoint, that's too much pride at stake. If they were to be truly honest with each other, then their relationship might change. They would lose the steady control over the one thing they feel secure in, their 'thing'.

Being honest with each other means being vulnerable, but they can't do that with the relationship they currently have because that gives the other party access to fuel for another fight or scheme or whatever. They can't be honest with each other until they know for absolute certain that the other party will also be 100% honest and vulnerable as well, that is unless they take a huge risk, but that's probably never gonna happen given the amount of times they have both lied or taken advantage of each other's "weakness".

They'll both suspect foul play from the other and either close themselves off or attack first, regardless of if there actually is any, because they can't fully trust each other. If they did, then that would make the whole point of their dynamic, their little "game" they like to play, useless. It would no longer be a challenge, it would no longer be fun. Suddenly it's not an engaging and elaborate game of cat and mouse, it's instead a scary game of vulnerability and insecurity. Even if they wanted things to change, they can't, (at least, not with the way things currently are) and that's ok with them. Because at least to them it's normal, routine, expected and they on some level, like what they have. If that were to change then they wouldn't know how to act because it's not what they're used to. They'd no longer be playing an entertaining game, meaning they can no longer hide behind said game as an excuse or shield for their behavior or actual feelings. Any genuine honesty would make things, and by extension their relationship, unknown territory.

Why risk losing the thing that gives them a reason to wake up every morning (even if it IS just to keep each other in line) when they can instead keep the status quo and never worry about losing sight of each other and everything they have.

They're comfortable where they are. It's why they can't ignore each other, it's why they keep coming back to each other, it's why besting each other is more important than what they're fighting about, it's why they come back and act like it's all normal and it's why they ignore anyone that gives them advice on how to end the cycle because the truth is they don't want it to end. If this 'thing' they had suddenly stopped, then they'd have to face no one but themselves. They'd have to face the fact that they have certain needs that have been fulfilled by each other for as long as they can remember and that without each other, they would need to either find a picture perfect replacement or live without their fundamental wants and needs met.

Unfortunately, they're both one of a kind and no one else will ever be the same. Not butters, not Stan, or Kenny, etc. No one can do 'them' better than they can. It only raises the stakes when you realize all they have to lose if they somehow truly mess it up

PHEW- I've been wanting to get that off my chest for a FAT while

honestly i think kyle always had a crush on cartman

#THATS WHAT IVE BEEN SAYING #kyle broflovski #eric cartman #south park #kyman #kyle x cartman #character analysis

259 notes · View notes

thefirstknife · 4 years ago

Text

Some of the more interesting bits of today's reset and dialogues. I loved this from Mara. She acknowledges her participation in steering Uldren towards his downfall AND she realises that she will have to do better with him in the future. This is from the ending dialogue when you finish the exotic quest for the Ager's Scepter.

I want to mention something from the start of the week because I've seen people get angry (but when do they not when it comes to Mara?)

Long post under read more:

It's about the discussion she and Ikora have at the terminal. Hot take, but both Mara and Ikora are right and wrong in the argument. Transcript:

Mara: "How long have your Hidden been privy to Uldren's resurrection?" Ikora: "Long enough to watch over him in your absence." Mara: "And you didn't direct him home. Why?" Ikora: "There was a concern he'd pick up some old habits." Mara: "You know the Garden made him sick. Riven twisted his mind. Eris would have seen it. She is not so easily deceived by skin-deep tricks." Ikora: "It's true I made mistakes, out of an idea of justice... out of grief. Are you leveling this same scrutiny toward Petra? Wasn't she supposed to be watching his grave?" Mara: "Petra has paid her dues. The Vanguard murdered him and has yet to pay theirs." Ikora: "We both lost family. I am sorry for my part in yours, but... Crow has been treated --" Mara: "My brother is dead. He was exhumed; his body twisted into a caricature. You had your vengeance." Ikora: "Is that what you're after? Cayde... I still feel that grief like a stone caught in my chest. Some days, it's more pronounced than others. Vengeance didn't erode that grief." Mara: "Then tell me. Who am I to blame? Who sent him to Savathun's clutches? Who bludgeoned Uldren into a scared animal and drove him from his home?" Ikora: "You did, Mara. And those Guardians that hurt him, did so out of misguided anger. Don't make the same mistake. Don't make my mistake."

This is some heavy stuff and there's a lot going on. First, I like that Mara doesn't respond at the end. It's uncharacteristic for her. It shows that Ikora's words did something to her. This is evident in the exotic quest later which I've already put at the beginning of the post. She's had time to think and she's admitting the part she played.

I dislike some of Ikora's arguments a lot. First, "concern that he'd pick up some old habits" goes entirely against the Vanguard policy and belief that Guardians are new people. They were only concerned because of bias towards Uldren due to what he's done. And Crow knows this! He said so last week when he wondered why is he the only Guardian judged by his past life. No one else is subjected to the same way of thinking. This is the reason why Guardians aren't supposed to dig around their past lives. Obviously with Crow, there's no way for him to avoid it, but the argument that, if he knew, he'd just magically become Uldren (and not just base!Uldren, but murderer!Uldren who will... I don't know, go after Ikora and Zavala or the innocent people in the City?) really shows how much the Vanguard mistreated Crow.

I also dislike the move to Petra. As Mara says, Petra has paid her dues. She really has. Let's not forget that Uldren was not just some guy to her or just her Prince; he was her friend. She had to watch him spiral out of control due to things she couldn't help him with, she had to make the choice to put him away until Mara comes back and at the end she had to make the choice to kill him. This trauma has shaped her.

The Vanguard hasn't paid any dues. That's kinda the whole point of Mara's questioning. Ikora tries to explain that this was due to grief and losing family, but pray tell Ikora, has Mara not lost family too? Mara mentions this immediately as expected.

Ikora is however right to say that it was ultimately Mara's actions that led to the situation we're currently in. The Vanguard had no say in Awoken royal family affairs. Mara knows this, she said as much in the past few weeks and other lore in general: she spoke at length about the distance she pushed between them out of perceived necessity, the need to shape Uldren in a way to make him less like himself (since she disliked his recklessness and dangerous behaviours), but ultimately that only made things worse. She's aware that his venture into the Black Garden was fuelled by Uldren's need to prove himself. Ironically, in an effort to make him loyal and devoted, Mara pushed him into more recklessness instead of stopping it. She's aware of this. Asking Ikora "who am I to blame" was just waiting to be roasted.

But Mara is also right to ask about how the Vanguard treated both Uldren and Crow. How they washed their hands from killing him "officially" by hiding behind the Guardian, how nobody in the Tower answered for this. Their treatment of Crow as well: forcing him into hiding, isolating him. Excusing all the suffering he felt at the hands of the Guardians as "misguided anger." The torture he endured from Guardians just for showing his face was so much more than just "misguided anger" and Mara is right to feel heated and enraged when she talks about this and when she asks her questions. She expressed similar distaste and anger in a voice line with Glint in regards to how the Spider treated Crow.

I got an interesting dialogue at the end of my Shattered Realm run which also made me really irritated on behalf of both Crow and Mara when it comes to the Vanguard. Ikora asks Crow why didn't he send his latest report and Crow replies that he's had a lot going on and a lot to deal with. Which is true! He's not the Drifter who doesn't send reports out of spite; Crow genuinely wants to help but he's struggling with a lot of things that we can't even begin to unravel. He deserves patience and understanding. However, the following then ensues.

Ikora:

Crow:

Ikora:

This last part is a nice sentiment. But excuse me. Crow has literally been resurrected, isolated, tortured, enslaved and then "rescued" only to be thrust into a cage in the Tower and given "responsibilities." He is not obliged to be the Vanguard's errand boy. It's honestly quite rude from Ikora to tell him that he has to take his responsibilities seriously. The man hasn't lived a single day in his life without anxiety over whether he'll be tortured to death in the street if he shows his face.

I know the Vanguard gave him protection from the Spider and stuff to do (which he enjoys) and accepted him into their ranks. That's all good. But there's very little empathy here that acknowledges the life he's lived. Crow deserves to experience things that aren't isolation, imprisonment and following orders.

And most of all, he deserves to know the truth. Something the Vanguard has denied him for almost a year now. I know Savathun's schemes were involved and specifically, they were involved through impersonating Osiris which made a lot of people turn a blind eye. But now that this is known?

Crow can't share his burdens without knowing the truth. That's the whole problem. Everybody, except him, knows who he was. Everyone looks at him and treats him through that lens. He can't unburden himself without being told half-truths and being denied information. His burdens exist precisely because he doesn't know while everyone else does. So while the sentiment is nice, it reads more like a "that sucks buddy" than a genuine offer to help him with what is really bothering him.

On the other hand, obviously sharing the truth is difficult. His past life is more complicated than for most other Guardians. He's been through things that other Guardians haven't. The situation is complex on every single level and every character has a reason for the choices they've made.

Sometimes those choices are wrong and they are mistakes. And Mara isn't the only one who made the wrong choices and mistakes, consciously and unconsciously. It's a disservice to the complexity of the situation, Ikora, the Vanguard and Uldren to boil everything down to "Mara bad." Doesn't make for a compelling story.

That's what I wanted to address in detail because on the surface, it's easy to just dismiss either of the character you dislike more. And that's just reducing the story to a spectrum of black and white that Destiny really, ironically, isn't about.

#destiny 2 #destiny 2 spoilers #season of the lost spoilers #mara #crow #uldren #ikora #lore vibing #long post #that was such a great interaction between mara and ikora #i hate seeing it boiled down to 'mara bad. got told off by ikora. yas queen.'#ikora is also a complicated character driven by strong emotions and opinions #don't reduce her to a simplistic image of ikora that people generally have #it's honestly a huge disservice to her

202 notes · View notes

gl0rious-purpose · 4 years ago

Text

Slushies (Loki x Reader)

Summary: Every now and then, you and Loki would go and hang out with each other. This time you two got slushies at the park. However, your true intentions are exposed when Thor sees that yours and Loki's tongues are purple.

Word Count: 2103 Words

Warnings: Nothing, but fluffy kissing.

Author's Note: I tried to add as much details as I could before I edited this one shot. Apologies if it's not as good as the others. Please enjoy.

Tossing your empty slushee cup into a bin nearby in the common room, you slowly trudged to the couch. You picked up the pace in fear of collapsing on the floor. As you flopped onto the couch face first, a very heavy chuckle sounded out by you. Startled, but really not caring, you peeked one eye up from the couch cushions to see Thor laughing at you. Not sure whether to feel offended or confused, you sat up and just started at him with a questioning look – at least that's what you hoped it was. The God of Thunder cackled harder at your facial expression, proving your attempt had miserably failed.

"Thor, why on Earth are you laughing at me?" You challenged the god, eyes narrowing as you sat yourself to look at the god fully. You sat back and watched Thor try to regain control over himself before he bursted into another fit of laughter. Just as the next fit started, Bruce walked in and handed you water. He quizzically looked over to Thor then back to you. You shrugged your shoulders as you took a big gulp of water. Feeling the cool refreshment trickle down your throat, you gave yourself a satisfied smile before taking another gulp. This time, you felt it trickle down your windpipe before it hit your throat. The sudden liquid mixing with your oxygen sent you into a coughing fit, glass of water falling out of your hand on to the floor. The glass somehow shattered on the floor as water spilled everywhere. This happened to drag Thor out of his laughing spell, his face flashing with concern as he quickly got up and rushed next to you. Faint footsteps from upstairs indicated Loki was coming down from his room to see what the commotion was about. Oh gods... Don't let him see me like this. You pleaded the Norns, but to no avail. He had entered the room just as you went into another coughing fit, the forced air burning your throat. Bruce gently bent your sitting body over your knees and rubbed your back in hopes of calming you down. Slowly, you felt the sudden pressure dissipate as light coughs erupted from you here and there.

Bruce and Thor gently pushed you back up as Loki just stood in front of you all, clearly confused. His eyes trickled down to the floor that was saturated with tap water and glass shards. His eyes widened as he looked up – scanning you first before scanning the other two for injures. He'd never admit it, but Loki cared for everyone's safety. Despite the past.

"Y/N, can you open up so I can observe your throat real quick?" Bruce asked warily, eyeing your face for a reaction as he took out a small pen light. You simply cracked open your jaw and turned your face towards him as he shined the light slightly above himself. He looked around for a hot minute before turning the light off and raising his hand to your jaw, pushing on it lightly to indicate you could close your mouth. As you did, his eyebrows furrowed. Thor and Loki caught this as you simply just stared at him, waiting for the diagnosis.

"It looks like it's all fine. Water must've accidentally got caught in your windpipe." Bruce paused, face contorting into a confused expression. "However, I'm not entirely sure why your tongue is purple. I don't think it was from a reaction from the water..." Bruce's voice trailed off as he looked down, gears turning. Thor sat back, glancing at Loki. It would've appeared that the God of Mischief had froze, which would be ironic for his case in general. Thor peered at him, slightly confused. Loki's silver tongue shot out to wet his lips as he waited there, trying to not show any signs of distress. A glimmer of purple caught Thor's eyes and he jumped up, pointing at Thor. Startled by the reaction, everyone looked at him, anxious about what was about to happen.

"Banner, his tongue is purple too!" Thor exclaimed, still not understanding what was going on. Bruce looked over at Loki, pondering his next words carefully.

"Did you two hang out today?" You peered into each other's eyes for reassurance before nodding slowly.

"Alright, what did you guys do? Did you drink some type of purple dye?" This time, only you shook your head, implying that wasn't what you did.

"No, we drank slushies." You stared, innocence gleaming in your eyes. Bruce looked at you, expected more. Before you could elaborate, he cut you off with another inquiry.

"Wait, purple..slushies? I wasn't aware that they even made grape slushies." He questioned you, eyes darting over to Thor who had moved to sit back down, still eyeing his brother. The corners of your mouth turned up into a small grin, turning your face towards Bruce.

"No, silly! I had a blue slushee." Bruce blinked slowly at your response.

"And I had the red slushee." Loki jumped in, not realizing that he might've set you both up for failure. Banner's eyes glanced over at him before letting them drop as he took in the information.

"That doesn't make any sense." Thor exclaimed. Apparently they didn't teach color theory on Asgard. Bruce shot him a look as he put two and two together.

"Oh my god..." His voice dripping with realization, his eyes widened as he glanced over at you then at Loki and back to you. Thor was just sitting there watching the interaction, slowly understanding that blue and red make purple when combined. Thor stood up walking to the window, turning around to face you guys as he got ready to ask a question. Bruce moved to a seat across the room just in case something happened and Loki had sat down next to you, avoiding the glass on the floor.

"Y/N." Thor's stern voice made you look at him, his thick eyebrows furrowed at the situation.

"Y/N, what did you and my brother do today?"

"We went to the park." You answered, making your voice sound as confident as possible. If you believed in your answer as much as you said it, maybe they would believe it.

"And what did you do at the park?" Thor's eyebrows relaxed for a second before they raised, eyes looking right through you and your responses. You swallowed harshly before you decided to carry out the tale you had spun. It was only half-truths. Until now.

"We drank our slushies. Duh." Your matter-of-fact tone kind of felt forced, making Thor feel dubious about your answers.

"And then what did you do?" Faltering, your mouth opened and closed, not knowing how to respond. Beside you, Loki's mouth opened up and closed again like a fish gasping for air. Realizing you probably couldn't say 'Well, we tried each other's slushies' due to the fact your tongues were dark purple – which would mean you did drink a lot of each other's drink – you looked over to Loki as the other two stared at you.

"Do you think that's why our tongues are purple?" You whispered to him, not realizing the others could hear what you had said. Loki's head snapped towards yours, trying to shush you with a look.

"Shut up." Loki coughed, looking up at his brother and shooting him a cheshire grin. Rolling your eyes, you scoffed at him.

"I told you not to use tongue." The man next to you groaned, throwing his head against the back of the cough. Thor fake gagged at the image of you and Loki kissing, his tongue down your throat. Bruce just looked at you in horror. He didn't think that you of all people would kiss Loki, but you did. Thor walked off to get a towel and broom to clean up the mess infront of the couch, drawing Bruce out of his gaze on the both of you. He got up and followed Thor, leaving the two of you alone. With the two Avengers gone, the tension rose significantly. Loki groaned as he rubbed his hand against his face, before sitting back up and looking at you blankly.

"Oops?" You look at him sheepishly, not knowing what to say. He eyed you for a long time, not saying anything. The silence tricked your brain into thinking he was mad about what had happened and you looked away, taking in a shakey breath. Well, I blew it. You beat yourself up internally, turning your head away and closed your eyes. Cold fingers caught your jaw gently, turning your head back towards you. Your eyes fluttered open, centimeters away from Loki's face. Feeling your breathing hitch, you focused on his eyes, fearing for what was going to follow suit. He took a deep breath, exhaling slowly. The air slowly blew over your face. It felt cool and smelled minty. How odd for a frost giant to emulate a breath mint. You chuckled at the thought, drawing a smile to the god's face.

"You're lucky I'm over the moon for you." Loki breathed, hand reaching further up and cupping your face. One of your brows raised, questioning his response. As an awkward silence fell upon you, you pressed your forehead to his, gazing deep into his eyes. I could admire him forever. You mentally noted, eyes slowly skimming his face. Loki's heart seem to pick up pace as you got closer, heart nearly pounding out of his chest. With how close you were to him, he pleaded the Norns to not let you feel what you were doing to him. At least, not right now. A god doesn't plead. Loki briskly thought as his pleas grew louder and louder at the back of his mind. But for you? He would beg for eternity. Watching deep in thought, you opened your mouth to inquire further, but he swiftly inclined his face more into your own, capturing your lips with his own. Melting into the kiss, you turned your body towards him, allowing him more access.

His other hand reached around your waist and pulled to closer to him, trying to get you as close as possible to him. Hand pressed firmly against the small of your back, he hungrily reached out and took your kiss-swollen bottom lip in between his teeth, biting down lightly before letting it drop back into is rightful place. As he did so, you let out an airy moan – one that was audible enough for the two of you to hear – muffled by Loki's lips. With your mouth open, Loki took advantage of the moment and slipped his tongue into your mouth, invading your own tongue's space. His smooth tongue plunged into your mouth, slithering around like an eel maneuvering through the ocean floor. The action blocked out all of your senses, overpowering them all as Loki's tongue sought an unreachable terminus near your uvula. You focused more on relaxing and allowing his tongue to thoroughly explore your mouth; it swirled around, it pulsated, and made contortive sweeps of your mouth’s vault: you certain that at least once it turned upside down. His chest was pressed against yours, feeling it slow it's heaving pace. The god recognized that you were probably in need of a deep breath, or at least moment to comprehend what had just happened.

As he slowly broke away from you, longing to imitate what had just happened, a very, throaty gag sounded by the door frame, makingboth of your eyes shoot open and darting towards the location. Thor gagged more as he walked away, muttering 'nope' several times as he abandoned Bruce who just looked at the two people on the couch, mouth gaping at what he had witness. Loki gave a sheepish smile as he laughed lightly, pressing his forehead to the side of your face, nuzzling is has laughter started to bubble out of you. Trying to give an apologetic look to the now leaving Bruce, you wrapped your arms around Loki's shaking form, clinging onto him like he would disappear.

"I can say without a doubt," you started, pausing to make sure you had Loki's attention. His head brushed against you like a sly cat looking for attention. "That was definitely better than what happened at the park." Tightening your grip around Loki, you pulled him closer. He hummed in response, agreeing that it was definitely better. Even though this was the first time a slushee had ratted out what you two do when alone, it was certainly worth what happened after.

And it sure as Hel wasn't going to be the last time it happened.

You can also read this fic here <3

#Loki #Loki x Reader #Slushies #Fluff #Thor #Bruce Banner #Purple Tongues #Kissing #Marvel #MCU #Marvel One Shots

109 notes · View notes

bi-snape · 4 years ago

Text

Wings to follow

Chapter 2

There's gonna be a time skip. Pretend they're all the same age except for Barty & Regulus who are a year younger than them all. Plus they all have happy families. Don't question me about the houses they're placed in.

Gryffindor: James, Mary, & Barty

Slytherin: Avery, Mulciber, Evan, & Sirius

Ravenclaw: Severus, Regulus, & Remus

Hufflepuff: Lucius, Lily, & Peter

🔹

~6th yr~

"Wake up! Wake up! Wake up! Wake up! Wake up! Wake up! Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!"

Severus groaned and grudgingly woke up "It's Saturday, why are you waking me up?" He asked as he rubbed his eyes. Lily smiled and laid down besides him "Because today is a special day Sev! Do you know why??" She spoke with excitement. Severus couldn't help but smile at his friend "Why?"

"Because on this exact day 7 seven years ago, you and became best friends!!" She shouted out "So you and I must celebrate this joyous occasion!! So get out of bed you lazy bum that I love so much!!" She added as she stood up on the bed and began to jump "Get up! Get up! Get up!" She chanted as she jumped off the bed and jumped around the room.

"I'm up, I'm up" He said as he got out of bed "God how do you always have so much energy?" He spoke while looking through his dresser for clothes. Lily laughed "I have no idea but that doesn't matter, I'll wait for you in main room alright" She said to which Severus only responded by nodding.

He began to remove his pajamas the minute he heard the door close and began to put on the clothes he'd picked out for the day. Once dressed he grabbed a hair tie and tied up his hair. Some of it came loose but he didn't seem to mind. He then grabbed his wand and he went to grab a small box from his trunk. It was a gift for Lily something he'd obtain while out in Hogsmeade last weekend. Once he retrieved it, he made his way to the main room.

Lily leaped off the couch once she saw Severus and rushed over to him and engulfed him in a giant hug. Severus chuckled and hugged her back. "Come now, Let's go eat some breakfast" She said as she took his hand and began to lead him to the dining hall.

The pair walked hand in hand to the dining hall without a care in the world. Everyone knew they weren't together, nor were they meant to be together. Why? because Severus's mark never changed color and neither did Lily's. Severus's mark was on his hand so it was impossible to miss, Lily's mark tho was placed just above her hip. It was an owl and Lily had practically checked her mark whenever she came into contact with anyone.

She eventually went about asking anyone she met if they had a jellyfish as their soulmark. Tho sadly it seemed no one had one but that wasn't gonna stop her. Severus tried to convince her that maybe Petunia's soulmate was a muggle but for some reason Lily felt that that wasn't true. Nothing he said manage to get her to drop the issue and he too went about asking his housemates if they had a jellyfish soulmark.

To his surprise a boy, who was a year older and named Danny, had a jellyfish as his soulmark. Sadly Danny had already found his soulmate. Severus frowned at the revelation but he congratulated him none the less and left. He eventually told Lily and she too was bummed.

The pair soon reached the dining hall and stepped inside. They made their way to the Ravenclaw table but Lily stopped midway and squeezed Severus's hand tightly "Let's sit at the Hufflepuff table" She spoke nervously. Severus stared at her in confusion before he looked at the Ravenclaw table and then it hit him.

Regulus Black was there, he was talking to some friends of his while also eating breakfast. A smile appeared on Severus's face, he knew why Lily didn't want to sit there. It's because Regulus just so happened to be her soulmate. They had met during summer after their first year. Sirius had invited the two to spend the summer at his home.

Once the pair had gotten permission from their parents, they left to Black Manor. When they arrived Sirius was quickly greeted by someone who appeared to be a smaller version of him. Sirius eventually introduced the small boy as Regulus Black, his younger brother by a year. Lily was the first to shake his hand and then Severus. By the end of the day Lily had dragged Severus into the bathroom in panic.

She lifted up her shirt just a bit to show that mark had turned a greenish or teal color. Severus couldn't help but gasp. The rest of that summer was spent with Lily trying to avoid Regulus, she had always dreamt about meeting her soulmate. Tho she never expected to meet him at such a young age or that he would be younger than her.

Severus tried to muffle his laughter with his hand, this earned him a smack on the arm. He shook his head and rubbed his arm still smiling. "Seriously? Ever sense you found out Regulus was your soulmate you've done everything to avoid him" He spoke "Why don't you just go talk to him already" He added. Lily huffed and crossed her arms "I will, tho not now because today is our day" She said in a serious tone.

Severus sighed but then an idea popped into his head. He reached into his bag and pulled out the small box that held Lily's gift. "Here" he said and thrusted the box towards her. Lily looked surprised and uncrossed her arms to take the box. She stared at it for awhile before looking back at Severus with a questioning look. "It's a present, for our friendship anniversary" He stated.

Lily felt like tearing up "Oh Sev, that's so sweet. You didn't have to get me anything you know" She said softly. "Oh I know, but I felt like it. Now open it" He said happily as ever, Lily chuckled softly and quickly opened the box. She gasped softly, inside the box was a hair clip. It had a small crown made of gems attached to it and on the clip it obtained the word wonderland on it but it was hardly noticeable unless you looked really closely at it.

She looked back at Severus with tears forming in her eyes. Severus simply smiled "All hail the queen of wonderland" He said softly, Lily quickly engulfed him into the tightest hug ever. Severus couldn't help but laugh as he hugged her back.

"I take it you like the gift?" He asked

"Like it? Severus I absolutely love it!" She shouted out, Luckily only a few people took notice and none of them were Regulus. "But..." She muttered. Severus tilted his head "But what?"

"I didn't get you anything" She mumbled and Severus chuckled. He knew she didn't get him anything, they've never gotten eachother gifts before. They simply took turns paying for everything each anniversaries. So he was very lucky when he decided to buy her a gift. "Oh I know but I know how you can make it up to me" He said and Lily gave him another confused look "How? Do you want me to pay for everything today?" She asked.

He shook his head and grabbed her hand "Nope" he spoke and dragged Lily to the Ravenclaw table. It took her a few minutes before realizing what Severus wanted. She tried to remove her hand from his but was unsuccessful. There was no point in trying to escape they already arrived to the table and to the very person she was trying to avoid.

"Hey Regulus, you remember Lily right?" Severus spoke as he quickly sat down next to Regulus, luckily there was hardly anyone at the table, and pulled Lily onto his lap. He wrapped his arms around her waist to avoid her escaping. Regulus turned to face the pair and stared at them weirdly, seeing as Lily was trying to escape. "Uh yeah, you guys are friends with my older brother Sirius. Why?" He said in a confused tone.

"Did you know her soulmark is an owl?" Severus asked and Lily wanted nothing more than to die. Regulus felt his eyes widen at that information "It is?" He asked and Severus made a humming noise in confirmation. Regulus felt stunned, he wasn't sure what exactly Severus was trying to say but it felt like he was implying that Lily was his soulmate. "What does that have to do with me?" He asked nervously.

Severus smirked "Not much, also her favorite animal is a rabbit and her favorite color is orange" He said and Lily hid her face with her hands inorder to avoid people seeing her blush especially Regulus. "Just thought you should know" He added and Regulus was stunned into silence. Why? Well cause his soulmark was a rabbit and it had turned orange a year before he was to enter Hogwarts.

Severus pushed Lily up and stood up himself. He then gently pushed Lily down to where he was sitting before. Lily was simply glaring at him the entire time her face completely red. Before Severus walked away to the slytherin table to talk to Sirius, he leaned in towards Regulus "Also her mark turned teal the day we first went to Black Manor" He whispered in his ear. He straighten up and smiled at the two "Welp I'm gonna go say hi to Siri, by you two" He said and ran off before Lily could attack him.

Severus arrived to the slytherin table and was happy to see Sirius sitting there half asleep. He quickly sat down next to him and grabbed hold of his arm which caused to jump out of his sleeping state in fear. "Sweet merlin Sev, what the hell" Sirius wheezed out, Severus merely smiled and pointed towards Lily and Regulus. Sirius turned his attention to where Severus was pointing and gasped in shock."Did she finally tell him?!" Sirius said a bit loudly as he turned to look at Severus for confirmation.

Severus nodded his head happily and Sirius cheered with glee "About fucking time!" He shouted and Severus couldn't help but laugh. Both he and Sirius talked about the new relationship forming between Lily and Regulus. Eventually they began talking about other things clearly no longer interested in their friends relationship.

16 notes · View notes

xenolithium · 4 years ago

Text

Silent Confidence (America & Romano)

Lovino rubbed furiously at his eyes, listening absentmindedly to the clicking of his own heels as he sped off down the hall. What a joke, what a fucking joke. Was repeating itself over and over in his mind. He was the one who put all the effort into that presentation, not his brother and yet no one bothered to let him speak!

He turned a corner, just barely ducking past a startled Tolys as he did so. Continuing to walk, even when the other said something to him in concern for his well-being. Though the brunet didn't seem to care enough to follow, simply letting him be as he tried to find some place quiet to sit and have himself a cry.

Some people called someone like him over dramatic and over emotional. And he told people like that to shove it. He didn't need to hear shit from those who barely gave a rat's ass about him.

He swung open a random door with a clack, hoping it wasn't a broom closet as he hadn't been paying attention but luckily it wasn't. It was a small break room that most of the other nations seemed to be avoiding, or perhaps they didn't know it was there. It was decked out with everything one might need to relax for a few moments. It had a fridge, counter space, stove, sink, kettle, microwave, the whole nine yards. In the center of the room, currently bathed in sunlight from large windows nearby was a couple of couches, facing each other on either side of a coffee table. Lovino's eyes froze in their exploration as they landed on a person's form.

Alfred was sprawled out across one of the couches, his suit jacket and tie cast aside. From the doorway, Lovino could see he was fast asleep. Sunlight dotting his thick blonde lashes and his hand rising and falling where it was placed atop his stomach. He stretched slightly in response to Lovino slamming the door open, but otherwise he remained unaware of his surroundings.

"Idiot. What the hell is he doing here?" He whispered to himself as he closed the door a little bit more softer than he did when opening it. Walking up towards the plush carpet in the center of the room and plopping himself on the couch across from America. From there he crossed his arms and glared daggers into the sleeping American's face, tears still brimming his eyes as he silently blamed Alfred for all his problems even if that wasn't true in the slightest. He still didn't try to help though!

Alfred twitched again in his sleep, his lips parting to make way for his tongue momentarily before he turned his head towards Lovino and went still. "Where's your stupid brother, huh? The maple bastard. Doesn't he know you're here?" He asked, but garnered no response to no one's surprise. Alfred was out cold and it would take much more than a few mumbled words to get him going again. Though Lovino didn't expect a response, nor did he care for one. "Did he ditch you because you've got shit for brains? Wouldn't blame him, you're a fucking loser." For some reason it felt good to curse and insult someone without having any negative repercussions. It was almost therapeutic in fact.

Lovino laughed wetly under his breath, "no response? Whatever, I bet someone like you couldn't come up with anything worth my time any way." He swallowed thickly, wiping his tears from his eyes again. "So how was the meeting? Pretty great, huh? It's pretty fucking great that no one notices the work I do!" He slapped a hand over his mouth and stiffened when Al shifted again, holding his breath and cursing himself internally for being too loud. But when Alfred stilled, he breathed a sigh of relief.

"Don't fucking wake up, you hear me, asshole? I'm not done telling you how shitty you are." This time his voice was a bit strained and muffled by his hand, but it's not as if it mattered since no one was listening.

He stared for a moment after saying that, his gaze growing more and more blurry as he focused on Alfred's face. His stupid, dumb, beautiful face. Why was he crying? It's not as if it was that big a deal. He sniffled, his chest shaking as his body was wracked with silent sobs. Curling in on himself a little as he let his emotions wash over him, gripping his thighs with his hands until they turned white.

"Someone like you couldn't do anything, you understand that, America? Nobody notices you, nobody cares. You're just this expendable loser that gets tossed aside in favour of your brother, every single time." He paused to swallow and take a breath before continuing. "Even when you try your best, no one cares. You got that? You got that?" He closed his eyes, taking in shaky breaths to try in vain to reel in his emotions, but nothing of the sort ended up happening. "Nobody loves you…"

When Lovino finally got himself to look back at Alfred, he was making a face in his sleep. Not of anger or hurt, but concern, his eyebrows knitted together as he tried to understand whatever was happening in his dream. His lips parting again as he whispered something. "Don't - don't say that...don't say that. I love you."

Lovino's heart skipped a beat and his eyes widened as he stared at Al in shock, having not been expecting a response, let alone that. Even if the words themselves weren't genuine, they were enough to have him quiet down his sobbing and stare at the man across from him in disbelief. "What?" He whispered dumbly, jumping when suddenly the room was overcome with a loud beeping.

Alfred suddenly slamming his hand down on the phone next to him to shut it up as he opened his eyes. "Already?" He mumbled to himself, sitting up and stretching before turning to look at Lovino, blinking stupidly for a moment until he realized something was missing, picking up his glasses from where they were resting next to his phone to put them on. He then returned to starring for a moment before putting on his usual stupid grin and waving lazily, "yo, what's up?"

"Don't, yo what's up me, shit stain!" He snapped, Alfred not phased in the slightest by his grouchy attitude as he tried to hide that he had been crying.

"What crawled up your butt and died?"

"I could ask the same of you!"

"Wait…" Alfred trailed off and Lovino stiffened, thinking for a moment that Alfred had heard all the things he had been saying to him while he had been asleep, feeling almost guilty because he hadn't meant them (not towards Alfred any way.) "I didn't think anyone noticed!" He whined, seemingly embarrassed over something.

"Noticed what?" Lovino asked exasperatedly, unsure of what the hell America was on about.

"My stomach really hurt, okay? I didn't mean to." It took Lovino a second to realize what the hell Al was saying, but when he did he picked up the nearest object (which happened to be a stapler) and threw it at his head.

"You're disgusting! Maybe if you didn't eat nothing but garbage that wouldn't have happened!"

Alfred caught the stapler in midair, placing it next to him with a pout. "I don't eat garbage."

"Yes you do. I see the shit you eat!"

"If you wanted some, you could've just asked~"

"In your dreams, as if I want to smell like a walking landfill everywhere I go!"

There was a silence between them as the only thing that filled the air around them was Alfred's laughter. Lovi glaring at him while he laughed until he felt something tug at his own lips, rubbing at his eyes as he let the carefree atmosphere wash over him.

"Why were you crying though?" The blonde male suddenly piped up. This was one of the few moments when Lovino wished Al was actually as stupid as he acted sometimes.

"I wasn't crying."

"Uh huh and the sky isn't blue."

"Don't sass me."

There was another bout of silence as Alfred leaned back and crossed his arms, raising a brow and waiting for Lovino to continue with something more but that never happened. Instead he was met with the Italian turning to look at anything but him.

"Well it has to be something."

"That something is none of your fucking business."

Alfred sighed, realizing he wasn't getting anywhere fast and he probably wouldn't be anytime soon. Why did he feel like he missed out on something important while he was fast asleep?

"Fine, keep your secrets," Al shrugged, Lovino seeming disappointed in the fact that he gave up so quickly but not pushing him to continue pestering him either. "Anyway, our break is over soon."

"That's nice," Lovino snapped.

"Are you going back to the meeting?"

"No." Lovino turned to glare at something outside one of the windows. "It's not like I'm needed any way."

Alfred blinked in understanding, realizing he was being given a hint here, even if it was small and off-handed. "Who told you that?"

"No one had to tell me."

"So then you don't really know if it's true."

"..." Lovino opened his mouth, but then promptly closed it again. Not really knowing how to respond to this. His lips pressed tightly together as he thought those words over. "What exactly did I do to make anyone think otherwise?"

"What exactly do I do to make anyone think otherwise?" Alfred repeated, raising a brow.

Lovino barked a laugh, "I think we all want to know the answer to that question."

"Lovino, I'm being serious."

"You're America for fucks sake, what kind of question is that? I'm not even half a country," Lovino immediately argued, making an exaggerated gesture at the blonde male to accentuate his point.

"So? It's not like I'm doing anything different from you in a meeting. I don't get the red carpet rolled out for me, we all sit down and do our thing. Besides, your presentation was really good."

That last comment caused Lovino to grow stiff once more, but this time out of shock. As he inspected Alfred curiously, trying to figure out what secrets he held to be able to know such information. "You knew it was mine?"

"Yeah?" It took Alfred a moment to realize why he didn't think that was the case. "Just because your brother presented it, doesn't mean it's not your work. I can figure out your handiwork from a mile away. I mean you used to work for me, remember? I don't forget that kinda thing."

Lovino was blushing softly, staring down at his hands which were placed in his lap snugly as he took in this information. To think Alfred bothered to remember little things like that about him made his heart feel warm. Sniffling as he relaxed his shoulders and finally felt a little better about himself and what he had done. Because someone had acknowledged it. "Thank you."

"Huh?"

"I'm not repeating myself asshole, open your ears next time," he huffed. "I didn't think you were creepy enough to remember things like that though."

Alfred chuckled, "well, I am. So, since we're ditching the meeting--"

"We're?"

"Yeah, since we're ditching the meeting, how about we stuff our faces!"

"I thought you said your stomach hurt?" Lovino replied suspiciously, squinting at him in annoyance.

"So?"

Lovino stared at him for a long moment in disbelief, before sighing. "Fine, but I'm choosing what we eat."

"Sounds good to me~"

"Anything food related sounds good to you," Lovino spat.

Alfred grinned at him with that wide, friendly, pearly white grin he gave everyone it seemed. But despite knowing that, he found himself attempting to give one back. Even if it was wonky and hardly noticeable. To others he was still mostly scowling, but it was that quiet effort that Al seemed to key in on the most.

"See? Now you're getting somewhere!" He jumped up and reached over to give the Italian a pat on the back. Which was way more rough than Lovino wanted a pat to be (curse America's ripped, muscly body that he never got to see) and also unwanted. He quickly shoved Al's hand away, glaring at him for suddenly thinking it was a good idea to touch him. Alfred chuckling sheepishly and rubbing the back of his head as Lovino got up and cussed him out under his breath before storming towards the door. America watched him like a lost puppy, thinking that now the whole ditching the meeting to eat brunch was off the table because of what he did.

"Well? Are you coming, shit stain? Hurry up before I leave you behind."

"I'm coming, I'm coming. Just let me get my stuff," Alfred said, his smile returning, quickly reaching around the room for all his belongings.

"That's it, I'm leaving you behind."

"Lovi! No, Lovi, wait!" He called as the Italian left the break room. Smirk upon his lips, having completely forgotten the reason he was crying in the first place. Well, not completely, but enough to start feeling good about himself again. Stupid American and his stupid words that always had him feeling better about himself. Did he even realize he was doing it?

---

A random plot bunny that came to me the other day and I finished this morning. I don't know why this specific scenario came to me, but it did lol!

Al wasn't dreaming about Lovi when he said he loved him, btw. He thought Matt was telling him all that. But we can pretend. XD

42 notes · View notes

gryffindor-jedi · 4 years ago

Text

The Vampire and the Chiss – Beginnings

This story takes place during the Chaos Rising time period, and canon has been thrown out the window, meaning Thrass is still alive and remains Thrawn's long-suffering brother. Every character will have a happy ending, except probably Thurfian.

Summary: Thrawn disappears, and returns after undergoing an incredible transformation, much to Ar'alani's and Samakro's dismay.

Word Count: 811 words

Samakro paced endlessly outside of Ar'alani's temporary quarters, fidgeting with his hands. Admiral Ar'alani had been discreetly making calls, trying to ascertain Senior Captain Mitth'raw'nuruodo's whereabouts, while Caregiver Mitth'ali'astov and Senior Captain Kiwu'tro'owmis were doing their best to distract Syndic Thurfian. It had been seven rotations now since Thrawn was supposed to return, and Samakro was getting very worried. He had been the first to notice Thrawn's disappearance, since everything on the ship was going smoothly, no one was complaining, and the admiral was very calm and composed. This had caused Samakro to subtly ask Admiral Ar'alani where Thrawn was, which brought them to the current situation. Why Ar'alani and Wutroow were aboard the Springhawk in the first place, especially when a Mitth family syndic who hated Thrawn was on board, was a question that he was still unable to answer. Although, Samakro supposed, given Thrawn's political prowess, or lack thereof, it was probably a good thing that they were on board. In fact, the pair were likely there to save Thrawn from himself, which would also explain why Ar'alani sent Thrawn on a supply run, three hours after the warship had departed.

“Thurfian has gone into his room to rest, Admiral. And a shuttle has somehow docked itself into the cargo bay.” Wutroow informed Ar'alani, as the the latter exited her quarters. “It doesn't match the specifications of the ship that Thrawn was last seen on.”

“The timing of the ship seems far too coincidental – Thrawn's on that shuttle.” Ar'alani said, shaking her head. “I could be wrong, but this ship is quite similar to the one belonging to Syndic Mitth'ras'safis. I think Thrawn might have 'borrowed' this ship from Thrass.”

“And by borrowed, you mean stole. I would like to be present, just in case Thrawn isn't on board, and some other Mitth family member is.” Thalias suggested.

“Of course, and I want Samakro to come along too. If Thrawn is on board…” Ar'alani continued, her tone going ominous.

Samakro involuntarily shuddered, and soon, the four reached the shuttle. Only to find the ship abandoned.

“Is this some kind of prank, Thrawn? You're making me lose my patience!” Ar'alani raised her voice.

Her only reply was a bat swooping down and out of the shuttle.

Ar'alani took a deep breath. “Let's just go back to my quarters, and report Senior Captain Thrawn missing. At this point, I don't even care about how much backlash this is going to cause, and whether or not Thrawn will be court-martialed.”

The party returned to Ar'alani's quarters, to find Thrawn casually sitting on top of the table. Only Thrawn had longer hair, and was sporting small fangs as well as a strange outfit.

“Explain yourself, now!” Ar'alani ordered, her temper nearly getting the better of her.

“Well, I went to procure the needed supplies, and changed ships to avoid being tracked. Then, I accidentally took a small excursion to the dark planet of Transylvania, where I learned about vampires in great depth.” Thrawn said calmly.

“I send you on a simple supply run, and you manage to 'accidentally' go to the forbidden planet Transylvania. I can't even say that I'm surprised.” Ar'alani sighed. “Did you at least successfully get the supplies?”

“Of course. The supplies are on the shuttle.” Thrawn replied innocently. “I even had enough time on Transylvania to research and experiment with vampire transformation.”

“You WHAT!” Thalias desperately tried to keep her voice down, and looked around the room.

Wutroow looked stunned and Samakro's jaw had dropped, while Ar'alani looked bored and slightly annoyed.

“I suppose this means that you are a vampire. That explains the bat and the fangs.” Ar'alani said in a resigned tone. “Couldn't your little vampire experiment have waited until after Thurfian left?”

“I was only able to borrow the shuttle temporarily from my brother, and I needed the shuttle to visit the planet. My apologies for any harm I may have caused.” Thrawn replied diplomatically.

“I don't think that the admiral is worried about the harm you've caused – she's probably worried about the problems you will cause.” interjected Thalias.

“There's no use worrying about the future. Samakro, Thalias, could you please take Thrawn to his room and keep him there?” asked Ar'alani, patiently. “Wutroow, could you keep an eye on Thurfian? I don't want him to see Thrawn, especially since he apparently has fangs sticking out of his mouth right now.”

“Got it.” replied Thalias and Wutroow in unison.

What he wouldn't give for a normal life, Samakro thought darkly as he followed Thrawn and Thalias to Thrawn's quarters. Only Thrawn was capable of turning a simple supply run into something as complicated as a vampire transformation, especially when there was a syndic running around trying to destroy him.

#sw #star wars #30yrsthrawn #thrawn #mitth'raw'nuruodo #vampire!thrawn #ar'alani #admiral ar'alani #samakro #thrawn ascendancy #chaos rising #thrawn trilogy #thalias #wutroow #chiss #sw fanfic #sw fic #sw au #my writing

10 notes · View notes