#and my ‘best friends’ keep bragging about how they’re going to do many sleepovers and dnd sessions and hangouts

[sneeg-snag]

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[boldlyvoid]

Amoreena | Chapter sixteen

Chapter Sixteen

main summary: Heaven is a real place and it's located exactly 14.6 miles away from the FBI, Quantico Headquarters. Off behind a small park, under a fantastical willow tree surrounded by wildflowers, in every colour young minds can imagine.

Don't forget, heaven also comes with angels.

Chapter Summary/Warnings: Amoreena meets Jo, Jo shares her experience with the foster homes (tw self-harm and child abuse), and Spencer shares his shitty childhood with her. They bond, he loves her more than he thought possible, his dreams of a big happy family are coming true.

word count: 4.8k

from the beginning <3

His phone is ringing at 7:50 and all he does is groan, forgetting Y/N’s agreement with Amoreena. His wife reached over his face and towards the phone, picking up with an overly cheerful tone for a pregnant woman who was up until 3 am.

“Hello sweet girl, how was your sleep?”

“Ugh,” she makes a weird face as the morning nausea kicks in and she tries to swallow it down. “Yeah? Oh, I’m so glad, dad and I are just waking up. We have another big surprise for you today… I know honey there’s always a lot going on, but this one is a good one I promise!”

“Can I go talk to her?” Spencer asks, “alone?”

“Dad’s going to come and see you while mommy has a shower, okay? I love you too, bye,” she smiles as she hangs up and passes the phone back to him.

They kiss quickly before separating, Spencer throws on the same clothes from the beach last night before heading down the hall towards Amoreena’s room. He knocks quietly before entering, seeing her sitting in a queen bed with 2 cats.

“Taylor let Olivia and Benjamin stay in here last night, she said they usually sleep in here anyway!” She was whispering, but it was still loud for her this early.

He sat on the edge of her bed and gave her a big hug, “how was your night?”

“Really amazing, Dad, Taylor is my best friend now,” she’s completely serious, “I hope mom’s not too upset about that, I guess we could share her…”

“That’s a nice thought, are you good at sharing?”

“I think so,” she nods with a serious face.

“Good, because there’s a new person who’s coming to live with us. She’s going to be kind of sad for a while and I’ll be spending a lot of time with her too,” he watches her face as she listens, confused but fine with it.

“Who is she?”

“Did your mom tell you how she made you?”

She nods, “she said sometimes people with penises donate sperm to help people have babies, and you were the one who donated for me,” she gives him a run down so seriously that it makes him laugh like the 7-year-old.

“Yeah, exactly, well I also helped 2 other families make babies,” he says softly, petting her hair as she understands what that means.

“So I have more siblings?”

“Yep, 2 sisters and a brother,” he smiles as she starts to bounce with excitement. “Josephine is 12, almost 13, and she’s coming to live with us.”

“Where is her mom?” She asks, he knew she would.

“Her mom and dad were in an accident, they died and she looked for me because she didn’t want to be alone anymore,” he knows it’s a hard topic, and that she understands death after losing her gg, but it’s still hard.

“Oh, that’s sad,” she frowns, moving in to hug him again, she keeps her head pressed to his shoulder. “I hope she’s okay, is she here now too?”

“She is, but I’m not sure if she’s awake yet, she’s a teenager and they sometimes sleep in longer than you would, like when Henry was over and slept until noon,” he has all his kids profiled in his minds and it’s actually more helpful than a hindrance.

“Does she like Taylor?”

He knew that one was coming too, “she’s a huge fan, she cried meeting her just like mom.”

“Is she going to call my mom her mom now?”

“I don’t think so, would that upset you?” He’s worried for the answer, he had the same jealous tendencies growing up. Hell, he still has them.

“No, she needs a mom, I would be very sad without mine, I know she needs one too,” she looked at him like it was a stupid question because of course, all kids need a mom and her mom happened to be the best.

“That’s really nice of you, she knows all about you and she’s really excited to move in with us, maybe you can help her decorate her room?” He isn’t sure what Jo will think, but he knows it would be good for bonding.

“Can we see if she’s awake? Wait, she’s a she right? Miss Kennedy said sometimes people look like girls but they don’t like to feel like girls, so we use they,” Amoreena was so worried about being a good sister he didn’t know why he worried so much.

“Well, I’m not sure, Jo hasn’t told me but you can ask?”

She shot right out of bed, still in her dress from last night as she ran to the door, “come on, what room is it?”

“Right there, knock nicely,” he says as he joins her in the hall, pointing to the room across from her.

She knocked 3 times, hearing a small ‘yeah?’ From the other side before opening it, “good morning!” Amoreena cheered.

“Amoreena!” Jo smiled as she got out of bed and ran over to her. She dropped to her knees so they’d be the same height and wrapped her up in her arms.

They hugged like this was a reunion and not an introduction, they held on to one another so tightly they both squeezed their eyes shut and held their breath. He knew that kind of hug, that was a hug you gave when you deeply loved the person you were hugging.

It made him want to cry, again.

Jo pulled back from her and Amoreena immediately held her face in her hands, observing her. “Yep, you’re my sister,” she smiled as she saw her nose.

That same perfect little button that was slightly angled towards the sky, she booped it lightly. Jo booped her right back.

“I am, it’s pretty cool getting to share a dad with you cause now I get to meet Taylor Swift, how the heck did we get so lucky?” Jo talks to her like she’s used to being around kids, finding the wonder in every word and saying the whole sentence with enthusiasm.

She turns to him, both his girls making the same face as they looked at him in the doorway, “how did you meet Taylor, dad?”

“You remember Uncle Dave? He came over for the barbecue and talked to poppy bob about winemaking all night?”

“Yeah, he’s Italian,” Amoreena remembered his funny accent and how she called him Mario.

“His daughter is Taylor’s friend, so Taylor sent me an email asking to meet you,” he couldn’t help but smile as she did.

“So you guys really are knights at the FBI, huh?”

“Yeah, but my armour got too rusty so now I’m going to guard the princess only, no more battles for me,” he was happy to make it magical, to turn the terribleness of it all into something she could be proud of.

He feels cold hands reaching under the back of his shirt then as he jumps, Y/N is wrapping her arms around him and pressing her cheek to his back, “your armour is fine, it just needs some polish.”

“They’re kinda gross, you’ll have to get used to that,” Amoreena says, pressing her lips together awkwardly as she looks at Jo.

“It’s nice though, it makes you feel like love is real,” Jo smiled back, “not many kids have happy families.”

“You do now, okay?” Amoreena took her cheeks in her hands again, something she must have learned from Y/N. “My family is your family and we are the best family, you’re going to have so much fun with us, can I help you decorate your room?”

Jo cried, laughing lightly as she nodded, “that would be cool, maybe we can get bunk beds for random sleepovers?”

Amoreena shot her eyes to her mom, “can we?”

“That would be cool,” Y/N agreed, “we’ll go to Ikea on Friday when I’m not working, okay?”

“And this weekend we can buy some paint for your room?” Spencer added, “you guys can plan all week together.”

“Yes!” Amoreena cheered, hugging Jo again.

Jo held her gently, resting her cheek against the top of Amoreena’s head with a small smile. She looked genuinely happy, peaceful like she belonged somewhere again.

Right then Amoreena’s eyes are darting right to him, “It’s fathers day!” She screams, way too loud for 8 am in someone else’s home. Thank god Taylor was on the other side of the mansion.

“Oh my god,” Amoreena smacked her forehead with her little hand, “I was so carried away with the wedding I didn’t pack your present, dad! I’m so sorry.”

“I’ve got you covered little miss,” Y/N smiled at her, “It’s in my purse!”

Amoreena pushed past them in the doorway and ran to their room in search of said purse. Probably emptying it out on the bed and making a huge mess, but it was fine.

Y/N took a moment to kiss his cheek, “good morning, happy father’s day.”

“Thank you,” he blushed, turning to face her and hold her close, “I can feel you staring Jo, come here.”

She comes skipping right over, wrapping her arms around them both and resting her head on Spencer’s side. For a 12-year-old she was tall, a lot taller than Henry was, that’s for sure.

“Hey!” Amoreena butts in, “let me in,” she pushed into the middle of the hug to steal all the warmth, “happy father’s day, dad.”

“Happy father’s day,” Jo added with a soft smile, “thank you for everything.”

“Yeah, you’re the best dad in the world, Jo you should see how he reads with his mind, he doesn’t even need to look at the books at bedtime,” Amoreena bragged, pulling back from all of them then.

Spencer wiped the tears from his face and pretended he wasn’t crying, overwhelmed by love just like he told Jo to expect. “I love you guys, I’m so glad I helped make you both, you’re the best kids a dad could ask for.”

“Here,” Amoreena hands him a wrapped present.

It’s a handmade book, blue construction paper bound with green ribbon in little loops and covered in a thin layer of tissue paper from the present he got her last week. He carefully removes the tissue and hands it back to her, “do you still want it for dresses?”

“Sure,” she takes it with a smile, “I wrote this for you after a dream I had, Miss Kennedy helped me write it all and reword it a bit. But it’s all from my brain.”

“Spencer’s little women,” he reads and then his heartbeat almost stops when he sees the bottom, “by Amoreena Reid.”

“We can go sit in the living room while you read it to us?” Y/N offered, taking the girl's hands and leading them all down the hallway.

Taylor’s house was full of floor-to-ceiling windows, allowing them to watch the sunrise over the ocean as they cuddled up on the couch as a family. Him and his little women.

“Once upon a time, there was a kingdom ruled by a beautiful princess who had a broken heart. She promised to hide away from the townspeople until she gathered all the pieces again,” Spencer read the first sentence and knew he wouldn’t be able to make it through the whole book.

“You know, I think it would be better if you read this to me Amoreena,” he asks her gently, “I want to know it from your voice first.”

“Okay,” she bounces up from where she cuddled into her mother to take the book from his hand, sitting straight as she got ready to read.

“Slowly, but surely, the pieces came back to her one by one as the people felt the need to search for her, they missed seeing her smile as she ruled alongside her parents, the king and queen until her heart was fixed.

A little girl, Lady Amoreena, arrived like a gift. A fairy godmother handing a small child to the princess to raise and love forever and ever, they were best friends more than anything.

But the princess’s baby girl made it her mission to fix the rest of her heart as she grew up seeing her mom frown, questing for princes and kings, even another princess to come and fill that last missing spot of her heart. To make their family love grew as the cracks from where they separated were healed.

She set off on her daily adventure, running off past the gates on the way to the willow tree, excited to see what wonders the pond of youth brought to her this time. Surprised to find a knight, his broken and rusty armour fallen on the ground, he was wrapped in weeds, he had been trapped for too long to remember.

Amoreena cut the vines off him with her sword, “you’re free now, sir knight.”

“How can I ever repay you?” The kind man with the same nose as her asked.

“Meet the princess, tell her about your battles, make her laugh and you can stay with us,” she gives him one final quest. His last ever duty.

The princess smiles as soon as they meet. He wins her over without even trying, he completes their family and makes all the cracks in her heart fuse back together. Gold light shines from her as she’s healed, completed by the love of a family she never knew she needed.

The love didn’t end there… the knight and the princess knew lady Amoreena would be like her mom when she grew up. The possibility of a sad and broken heart as she got older, so they made her 8 more siblings, her group of sisters to keep her company during the happily ever after part.

“Sir Spencer, where are all your little women?” The king of the land asked, seeing the knight and the princess all alone on the path, old and slow as they walked.

“Down by the pond, it’s story day!”

He knew that’s where they’d always be, at their pond with a book, braiding each other's hair, weaving flower crowns and chasing each other through the wildflowers that replaced the vines that once held him down.

Free, healed and happy. Spencer and his little women healed the princess, allowing her to take the role as Queen, like her grandma always wanted for her.”

“There isn’t a 'the end'?” Y/N’s voice questions lightly as Spencer cries too hard to even respond.

She was the most amazing child in the whole world and he didn’t know what he did to deserve her. He wrapped her up in his arms and held her so tight she was smacking his arm to let her go with a laugh, “I want to add more to it when I’m older, like GG’s book.”

“You can write one for all your sisters,” Y/N smiles at her softly, “you know, gg only wrote Amoreena because you came to her in a dream?”

She nodded, “that’s why I started writing this book for dad because I had a dream about him reading to all of us, he was so old it was funny.”

“How old?” He asks, remembering his reflection from his own dream.

“Like poppy, you had a white beard!”

“What did we talk about?” He doesn’t know why he wants to know so badly but he’s desperate to know if their dream was the same.

“It was story day, you and mom were late, but you said, ‘I’d never miss a Saturday with my little women,’” she smiles, “I’m so glad you’re my dad.”

She holds him back just as tight this time, snuggling into his chest as he breathes her in. His first little baby, even if she was the middle kid now, she was his baby, he couldn’t even imagine holding someone even smaller than her soon.

—

They take a quick trip to target in the morning, needing to get some things for Jo and Y/N really, really wanted chocolate-covered cranberries, making sure he knew that she would kill him if he didn’t bring them back to her. Finally having those pregnancy mood swings he was expecting.

Jo is quick to pick out some summer clothes and a bathing suit for the day as well as toiletries and anything else she wanted because Spencer said so. He was going to spoil her because he didn’t know what else to do. This is what he wanted from his dad, someone to see something, think of him and just get it to make him smile.

She saw some purple bedding that she liked, so it ended up in the cart. And then she needed some new pillow, and some fitted sheets… oh and those curtains are nice… and before they knew it they had $300 worth of things for her bedroom in the back of Y/N’s car.

Jo pressed her lips together awkwardly as they sat in the front seats of the car, he looked over at her and smiled, making her laugh, “this is the best father’s day.”

“I’m supposed to be getting you gifts today!”

“You are a gift, Jo,” he doesn’t mean to get sappy, but he can’t help the love he feels for her already.

“Drive before I cry, dude,” she turns to look out the window. “Are we going to have a 'ground rules and behaviour' speech like all the foster parents do? I have a feeling you have no idea what you’re doing.”

He starts the car then, pulling out of the lot and starting the 40-minute car ride back with her, “how do they normally set the rules in the foster homes?”

“They pay for my phone bill with the money provided for me each month and they sometimes get me the groceries I want for lunches and stuff but they mostly kept the money for themselves. I’m only allowed on the internet for an hour a day, homework has to be done in front of their eyes at the kitchen table, no food after 7 pm, lights off and no walking around by 9,” she gave the rundown and it made Spencer’s stomach turn.

“I will pay for your phone bill, you don't need to worry about that. We can even get you a new one when we get home. Y/N has great internet and every streaming service available, you don’t have a time limit here. Just promise me you’ll go outside sometimes?” He reaches a hand out to hold her’s while driving, letting her know he means what is coming next.

“I trust you have a way of life you’re used to, and I’m not going to change that on you, if you want to share things with me and be open and honest, I’m always here and I will never judge you. I don’t want you to ever feel like you need to hide things from me. And that being said, I trust you enough to use the internet safely, and not hack anything without good reason anymore?”

Derek was right, it’s surprisingly easy to be a dad. All you have to do is love them and be there for them.

“Okay, then I think you should know,” she takes a deep breath and a pause. “I’m pretty sure I like girls too, I never got to tell my mom that but I’m sure she knew, and I’m kind of scared to put my bathing suit on when I get home.”

“First of all, I’m proud of you,” he squeezes her hand 3 times, and she does it right back with a smile. “Secondly, why? Did you not get one you liked? I was fine buying any of them for you.”

“I have a lot of scars on my legs, and I don’t want to scare Amoreena,” she’s really ashamed of herself and Spencer understands it.

He rolls his sleeve up and extends his arm for her to see his very faded track marks, “I was drugged on a case once, I had an addiction after. The scars fade over time, but I also haven’t shown Amoreena my bare arms yet.”

“Mine are pretty faded now too, it’s been a few months, they look more like stretch marks,” she smiled at his honesty, feeling safer with him.

“If she asks, you can say it was from a cat at the foster home. She’ll think about Cinderella and the evil stepmother's cat, and then completely forget why she asked,” he assures her, knowing Amoreena like the back of his hand now.

“Lucifer,” Jo smiles, “I was like her as a kid too, always making up stories and finding new movies to be obsessed with. I have ADHD, by the way, but I’m un-medicated cause my last foster home didn’t listen to the school’s diagnosis,” she says it like it’s not a big deal.

His blood starts to boil at the thought of someone not taking care of her, “excuse me?”

“Yeah, and when I asked for a therapist they said no to that too, I was ‘fine’ apparently and they settled for a dead parents support group so that Colin could have a coffee while I sat there,” she’s oblivious to how terrible it is.

“Make me a list of all the things you want, I mean everything down to the most niche interest or therapy technique that you’ve researched and I will help you with whatever it is,” Spencer is furious at the conditioning she’s experienced to think this is okay.

“You don’t have to, dad, I’m okay now,” she lies and he can tell.

“You don’t have to be, believe me, I cry almost every night to Y/N about things I thought I had recovered from. If you want to talk to someone because you think it will help, or if you want medicine because you feel like it’ll help you focus better or just be happier, I’m here to help you get that.”

She goes quiet, staring at their hands where he’s still squeezing her palm. She rubs her thumb along the skin softly, “did your mom ever hurt you?”

“Only when she wasn’t really there in her own mind,” he presses his lips together right after, he’s never told anyone about it.

“Did your dad?”

“Emotionally, but he wasn’t there long enough to lay a hand on me.”

She nods at the response, “my dad was evil, I think he killed my mom in that ‘accident’, but on purpose.”

“I thought my dad was a murderer once too, but it was actually my dad’s friend,” he isn’t sure why he’s telling her everything, but she deserved to know.

“There was a pedophile in our town who killed this boy, Riley, and my mom told him about a man who was watching me like I was next. And Riley’s dad killed him, but I was so young my mind tried to think it was my dad who did it all.”

“Your old job must have really messed you up inside too, huh?” She tries to laugh it off, scared of his past but intrigued at the same time, he just nods at her observation.

“I have a friend, her name is Penelope, her parents died when she was a little bit older than you. She snuck out and they went to look for her, and they were in a car crash,” he makes sure she’s comfortable, her hand is still in his and her thumb is still moving over his skin.

“Like you, she got into hacking, the FBI had to hire her because she was so good she became a threat, you’d really like her,” he says, turning to look at her quickly, he loves the smile on her face.

“I’d love to meet her,” she smiled, “thank you, I wish you could have always been my dad.”

It breaks his heart a little, “well, you have me forever now.”

—

“Two questions,” Y/N’s voice approaches as she walks towards the trunk of her car.

Jo and Spencer are digging through all the shopping bags trying to find all the things that she needs for the afternoon, leaving the rest for the ride home.

“Here,” Spencer hands her the chocolate-covered cranberries, “king-sized bag.”

“I love you,” she smiles as she takes it, “the second question, how are the suitcases going to fit in there now? We have two kids to bring home, they’re going to be squished.”

“I don’t mind,” Jo smiles, “one time they didn’t have room for me in a car so I sat in the trunk for 15 minutes.”

Spencer wrapped her up in his arms, “every time you tell me a story about what has happened to you, I want to kill someone.”

She laughs, holding him back gently, “believe me, I was an asshole to them, they got what they deserved.”

“What did you do?” Y/N worries about what she’s capable of, Spencer can tell.

“I called the tax people and said they have been claiming foster kids as dependents and now they might have tax fraud charges coming their way,” she seemed very proud of herself. “I would never hurt someone, but I have no problem getting them in trouble.”

Y/N extended her fist, bumping it off Jo’s with a smile, “as you should! Now, come on, let’s go get ready for the beach.”

Jo skipped inside with Y/N, their arms linked as they did so. Spencer couldn’t believe this was his life now. He closed the trunk with a slam, picking up the bag of things he set aside before joining them inside.

“Surprise!!!!” Amoreena screamed as soon as he walked through the door.

There was a hand-drawn Happy Father’s Day banner hanging from the staircase and purple balloons all over the place.

“Happy father’s day!!!” They all cheered for him, even Taylor’s mom was there now, smiling at the display of affection.

Amoreena and Jo came running up to him, wrapping their arms around him and holding him close, nothing felt real. “Can you pinch me?” He asked them with a small smile.

He didn’t think they’d do it, but even Y/N walked over and started pinching him all over. Amoreena pinched his leg, Jo pinched his belly button and Y/N, she pinched his cute little butt as she pressed a kiss to his blushing cheek. “You’re very real, so are we.”

“I love you guys,” Spencer reminds them, holding them all as close as he can for just a moment, “okay, enough sappiness, let’s go to the beach!”

Amoreena and Y/N are already in their swimsuits under their sundresses, Jo, on the other hand, picked out some trunks and a tank-style swim top, hiding her scares just enough that she felt comfortable getting in the sand and building a castle with Amoreena.

Y/N laid on the towel beside Spencer in the shade, Taylor and her mom were playing scrabble on the picnic table, her dad was cooking up burgers on the grill. It was serene, it was perfect, they were a little family and it made absolutely no sense to him how it all worked out so well, but he wouldn’t change any of it.

“Look how big it is after lunch,” Y/N grabbed his attention, sticking her belly out as far as it could go, “I’m going to get so huge again, at least this time I’ll be the biggest when it’s cold out.”

“Are you comfortable? Do you need more sunscreen or water?” Spencer worried, making her smile as she pushed her sunglasses up and turned to him.

“I am fantastic, thank you, cutie.”

He leans in to kiss her gently, but she wraps her arms around him and pulls him down on top of her. Kissing him like she just rescued him from the sea and hasn’t seen him for years.

When he finally pulls away, he doesn’t go far. Just sitting up as he brushes her hair off her face, “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” she reminds him with another soft smile.

“I missed mother’s day with you by only a few days, but you should know you’re the best mother in the whole world,” he whispered, wanting to share his day with her because, without her, he wouldn’t be a father.

She pulls him into another kiss, hands resting on his cheeks as she breathes in deeply through her nose. It’s like she’s taking the soul out of his body, he's a part of her now forever and always. He never wants to be anywhere else.

tag list: @shemarmooresfedora @spencers-dria @spookyspence @reidsfish @manuosorioh @mochionly @samuel-de-champagne-problems @jswessie187

@k-k0129

[where-is-my-beheading-ceremony]

Aaaaa headcannons!

Claytro edition! (purely based on my personal thoughts)

(note: feel free to enjoy, but if this ship is not something you are interested reading about then I totally understand, have fun scrolling the Nexo Knights tags! ❤️)

-Clay is the only one that has actually managed to touch Jestro's hair, but it was a lot shorter when they were still kids

-These two have regular sleepovers since after Jestro started training to be a royal Jester, they couldn't be roommates anymore

-Yes they were roommates for a few years and Merlok would read them bedtime stories

-Jestro gets cold in his sleep often so Clay would sleep with them to help them feel warmer along with the pile of 3 blankets

-The two also sleep together whenever they feel bad (had a nightmare, stressed, emotional). Less so as adults though since now they barely ever sleep

-Surprisingly, Jestro doesn't fear the cold too much. He doesn't enjoy it more so because of the memories of cold winters in the streets and not because of how cold he's feeling right now.

-Jestro and Clay treated each other with colorful bandages as kids since Jestro used to bruise easily and Clay would get bruises from training

-Jestro and Clay would occasionally text each other in seasons 1-2, more so when there's some celebration. Both wanted to know how the other is doing, but Jestro was far more reserved in giving out info

-Clay even called him on his birthday and snuck to the lava castle to leave a gift l without anyone knowing.

-Jestro did a similar thing, but he just threw a gift at them in the middle of battle because he didn't want to seem suspicious by gifting it genuinely. Clay still understood it and was very pleased

-They made friendship necklaces for each other back when they first met and wore them the whole time

-Clay was the first one to rip off the friendship necklace. Specifically, stone Clay when he first was woken up and still hadn't yet had the chance to remember his bond with Jestro

-Let's pretend Jestro wasn't hurt for the sake of our hearts since that hurt a l o t.

-Jestro had to be zapped after that emotional ride, so fresh with Mondtrox' magic, he too took it off, but kept both his and Clay's necklaces.

-Not long after, these two grow close together again as a duo

-Stone Clay and Corrupt Jestro was the thing that haunted everyone since they worked together and became terrifyingly good at causing mass destruction

-From the outside it didn't seem like they always got along since Stone Clay had some definite anger issues. Jestro always made sure not to talk to him too much during battles since that's when they're most riled up

-The time after battles between the two is spent well. They just hang out and talk, often plotting because they can and Jestro making fun of the knights, as well as giving Stone Clay more reasons to dislike them

-Both of their memories were iffy at that point, so wherever they remembered, they told each other

- Stone Clay was like Jestro's bodyguard who sometimes did a poor job at being one

-Not a day passed where Stone Clay didn't end up carrying Jestro in his arms

-Absolute power duo

-Honestly could've taken down the kingdom

-There's not much Clay could to to stop Monstrox from zapping Jestro

-The first time, he even made sure Jestro wouldn't move, not knowing what to expect and not realizing Jestro felt things completely differently since we'll, he wasn't stone

-The other times Clay just looked away since he still saw Monstrox as the superior out of everyone

-Jestro absolutely loved Clay's new violent nature and Clay absolutely loved how un-hinged Jestro was. The echo to Jestro's voice could even give his stone body shivers

-Jestro treated Stone Clay exactly how someone would treat their ex after he returned to the Knights

-After Season 4, Jestro looked like he'd need life support from how much of a negative impact Monstrox' magic left on him so Clay would occasionally secretly check up on how he's doing even if he's not supposed to interact with Jestro

-Jestro was absolutely not glad to see Clay because he knew that he woukd be the one to get in trouble for it, not the knight.

Now to something happier again!

-Clay always takes any chance given to him to carry Jestro in his arms

-Jestro takes any chance possible to praise Clay's work

-Clay allows Jestro to paint their nails

-Clay is just an absolute himbo, who only has enough braincells to be a knight and leader

-These two have terrible social skills

-Their first kiss was back in their academy days, on one of their last years

-They were both sort of curious is all. But it didn't change much to their friendship since the two didn't feel like they were quite enough for the other

-They still don't have any spoken relationship.

-It's just been mutual simping for each other since their academy days

-The two would be completely content with never being in a relationship their whole lives

-Which is why they need encouragement from others to actually get a move on with their relationship

-Everyone in the academy thought they were a thing. Every single person. But it wasn't spoken about much since it became the usual thing.

-At the start however, there were many rumors and a lot of gossiping. People were worried for Clay's reputation when he himself didn't even feel worried about it.

-Clay is comically stubborn when it comes to seperating him from Jestro.

-Jestro let's go a lot easier, even if he doesn't want to.

-The amount of times Clay had cornered Jestro with both his arms and thought it was a casual thing to do is ridiculous.

-Jestro learns a lot more when Clay helps him study than when he studies in class

-Surprisingly, both performed a lot better whenever they had a task to do together.

-Since Clay doesn't brag about himself, Jestro makes sure to tell as many great things as possible about Clay. Like he'd tell heroic, almost over the top stories about whatever Clay does to other students

-Clay has definitely used Jestro as a weight for an exercise before

-Jestro seems like a mom whenever something bad happens to Clay. He always takes care of them and scolds them on a caring matter

-The amount of shock the teachers were when Clay had gotten into a fight with other students was definitely something.

-But Jestro definitely understood why Clay acted out. Yes he's a model student, but Clay always has to force himself not to speak out, frustration can build up.

-Jestro only wishes it wasn't because some students went overboard on throwing hurtful words towards Jestro and then later Clay. This happened when they were still quite young

-Jestro would wait for Clay when he had to sit through multiple detentions because of that one event

-Jestro's language is words

-Clay's love language is acts of service

-These two till this day have to hug at least once a week

-Clay only dares to show all of his sides around Jestro and Jestro gladly helps them express their frustrations and such. Clay even feels comfortable enough to openly complain about people that have been getting on his nerves.

-Jestro doesn't understand why Clay treats him almost like a porcelain doll. The knight doesn't even dare to hold his hand too tightly and always waits a second to be sure if he can touch Jestro in any way, like a hug.

-Clay is just very worried of causing even the smallest bits of discomfort to Jestro

-Jestro meanwhile doesn't hesitate for a second and nearly tackle hugs Clay instead of going for the careful approach

-Both often times speak out their minds about each other unintentionally so it would go like

"Clay I could just hold your face and kiss you right now!... Wait-I just couldn't think of a better way to explain my joy for my bestest friend ahahaha, yeah-"

"Jestro I'm, so glad to see you're doing well, I couldn't have handled seeing someone I love hurt by that-...because you're my best friend... Yes!"

-Jestro from the very start was a shameless hoarder of Clay's clothes. Whatever he gave them, he gladly accepted

-Whenever Jestro made something for Clay, Clay would spent half an hour staring at it, afraid to ruin it some way by using the thing gifted to him. Same goes with whatever pastries he gets, he feels almost guilty for eating them

-Clay has a few Plush toys that Jestro got him and Jestro's collection mostly consists of the ones Clay got him

-Jestro hasn't moved out of Knightonia only because Clay gives bear hugs and he absolutely loves them

-If given the chance, Jestro would sacrifice much more than Clay could for him even if it doesn't seem like it

-These two would always play hide and seek in Merlok's library and around the castle even as teens at times

-Both of them encourage each other to be childish when they want to be

-Clay has pulled a Romeo so many times and came to the castle late in the evening just to talk to Jestro through their balcony

-Jestro can actually play violin. He's not perfect, but he definitely knows how to play it. He convinced himself he's bad at it since his bad luck always causes the strings to snap

-Jestro has played violin for Clay whenever they're sick to keep them amused

-Jestro once thought about running away in the academy and Clay was so ready to run with them so Jestro immediately threw that idea aside

-These two are like baby ducklings, they follow each other closely almost all the time

-Clay used to always be the one to say "He asked for no pickles" but after Season 4 and Jestro's absolute disappointment in the kingdom and it's people, he became the one to say "he asked for no pickles"

-Clay is glad that after season 4, Jestro started paying almost no mind to how people of Knightonia view him, but it makes him a bit worried even. Especially when Jestro just uses the people's own feelings towards him for his own advantage:

.

Shop keeper: YOU! Came here to steal all my baked goods, burn the place to the ground???

Jestro:... yes.

Shop keeper: what-

Jestro: I just said yes. Now can I get some of those caramel croissants.

Shop keeper now worried for their life: o-oh! Here! They're on the house!!!!

Jestro coming out of the bakery: Here Clay, I got us some of those fresh baked ones!

Clay:...was it on the house again?

Jestro:...mmm...yes?

Clay lightly sighing and going in to pay for it.

.

-Jestro feels sour enough towards Merlok that after season 4, he feels the need to protect Clay from whatever they might say and makes sure there isn't anything they decided to keep secret from them

Last, but not least:

-no matter what happens in their lives, these two will always find a way to keep close to each other, even if it takes time. Couple or not, they're soulmates that will never move on from each other. Inseparable by fate itself.

[personasintro]

Only You | [pjm]

→𝒔𝒚𝒏𝒐𝒑𝒔𝒊𝒔; you’ve been always there for your best friend, even when he became a single dad 

→𝒑𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈: jimin x reader

→𝒈𝒆𝒏𝒓𝒆: single dad jimin, best friends to lovers au, smut, fluff, tiny bit of angst

→𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔: slight nipple play, oral (female receiving), protected sex, strong language, penetrative sex

→𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒅 𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒕: 11.4k

 𝒎.𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒕 ⏤ 𝒌𝒐-𝒇𝒊

© 𝒑𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒐𝒏𝒂𝒔𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒓𝒐 (𝒏𝒐 𝒓𝒆𝒑𝒐𝒔𝒕𝒔 𝒐𝒓 𝒕𝒓𝒂𝒏𝒔𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒐𝒘𝒆𝒅)

The slightly cold breeze comes from the opened window, comfortable enough to balance the hotness in Jimin’s bedroom. His cheek is pressed against his pillow while his plump lips are puckered. His light blond hair is falling to his face, covering mostly his eyes but he doesn’t mind – not when he is deeply asleep, a soft puffs of breath leaves his mouth. His whole body aches with tiredness and strong need of sleep, which he welcomed with opened arms. He fell asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow and his body is wrapped around the thin sheet, which he managed to kick off while sleeping, due to hotness in the room. He is about to mindlessly turn around, to change his position since his neck starts to hurt from the twisted position, just to be woken up by soft cries from the other room. He probably should snap his eyes open, but he can’t, instead he slowly opens them with his head aching. He checks the time on his phone, the bright screen blinding him for a second before his eyes adjust to the brightness. 2:04am. He slept for two hours, his body and mind still tired. With a deep sigh, ignoring the headache, he forces his body from the comfort of his double bed. 

His bare feet slowly pad against the wooden floor to the door from his bedroom, which he opens just to be met with faint lighting coming from the lamp in the living room. He sees the grey blanket slouched on his couch and a cup of something on the coffee table. The cries are slowing down but can be still heard, so Jimin picks up his pace and enters the smaller room right beside his. The sight he sees warms and shakes his heart at the same time.

There is you. The night lamp illuminates your figure, enough for him to see you. You’re standing in front of the crib with his baby wrapped in your arms, as you slowly hum into his daughter’s ear. You slightly rock her, cuddling yourself to her, the familiar scent of baby welcomes you. You love that smell. 

The floor underneath Jimin’s feet cracks and your head snaps to the door, seeing your best friend watching you with doe eyes. The bags under his eyes are too visible and your heart aches at the sight of it, his hair disheveled while his face is puffy with tiredness. 

“I got it, go back to sleep.” you whisper, the cries of Mihi slowly stopping as you keep rocking her. Her small head is pressed against your shoulder, the familiar white cloth underneath her just in case she would vomit. 

And Jimin almost cries. He doesn’t know if it’s because how much tired he feels, or just from the simple sight in front of him. You look so motherly, almost as if Mihi is your own kid, but Jimin is quickly slapped back in reality. 

“You should sleep, I didn’t invite you to take care of my child.” The regret and sadness in Jimin’s voice doesn’t come unnoticed by you, and if you weren’t currently trying to put Mihi to sleep, you would scold him. 

Even he knows that as he sees the straight line between your eyebrows. 

“I came to help you, so let me help. Goodnight, Park.” you tell him softly but with an attitude, turning to him with your back.

A tired grin appears on his face as you used the one nickname you always call him whenever he pisses you off. It’s like an old times, bringing him back to the time when you both were just the pair of teenagers with big dreams. Now you’re both adults, trying to figure out your whole life. Your lives doesn’t seem so free and careless anymore. 

But Jimin doesn’t go to sleep right away, not listening to your words and instead stays and watches you. You’re wearing a plain shirt he borrowed you with your cupcake shorts pyjamas you always forget at his place. He isn’t surprised by the sight of your sleek legs, not when he has seen you like this too many times. You are best friends for so long, that it doesn’t even appear weird to him to see you like that. But he doesn’t stay there to gawk at you and admire your body you always complained about. He watches the way you stop rocking his five month baby, softly cooing at her. 

“There you go, sleepy baby.” you speak to her so sweetly and quietly, that he barely hears it – but he still does and he smiles as you slowly put her back to her crib. 

What surprises him is that you don’t leave right after, instead you spend a few seconds just staring at his daughter with admiring smile on your lips. But when you turn around, there is a huge scowl on your face causing Jimin’s smile to drop as his eyes widen. 

He is in a big trouble now, he knows that as you walk towards him, turning him around and pushing him by sprawling your palms against his lean back. 

“What are you gawking at? Go back to sleep.” you scold him quietly, still hoping you wouldn’t wake the little angel up, but you still have to scold her stubborn daddy. 

But Jimin turns around with grin, catching your wrists as you go to slap him across his chest, something you often do when he irritates you. You can’t help but chuckle at that, the frown on your face long gone as you realise that Jimin really knows you well. He can predicts your next move very easily by seven years of knowing you. 

His features softens as he brushes the restless piece of hair from your face. Your heart clenches at that and you immediately mentally scold yourself. “Thank you for doing this.” he says so sweetly with his angel like voice, that your heart almost melts. 

“Of course,” you speak, your breath catching in your throat as he gifts you one of his sweet smiles. “Go to sleep.” you tell him again as he softly lets go of your wrists.

He nods and yawns right after, the tiredness reminding itself to him again. He turns around, ready to be welcomed by the soft mattress again but stops himself as he follows the sight of a blanket and two not so comfortable pillows on the couch. 

“Go take my bed, I’ll take the couch.” Jimin says, feeling like an idiot for taking his bed in the first place. But of course, the stubborn you insisted on that, claiming that you’re not even that tired and you will be awake anyway. You lied. You don’t wear the bags under your eyes like he does, but he can still see your glossy eyes from tiredness. 

“No,” stubborn you returns and this time it’s Jimin’s turn to scowl at you. “I’m fine with couch, really.” you shrug and he knows you’re not lying. 

You always claimed his couch is comfortable but he can’t stand the image of you sleeping there, not when he has a big bed in his room. 

“We can share the bed.” he shrugs, coming with a suggestion which shouldn't flutter your heart like that. 

The idea of you sharing bed isn’t so foreign, not when you had countless sleepovers. It never felt wrong nor weird because you both were comfortable with it. But since then, a few months passed since you both shared a bed. However, you don’t feel weird by the simple and innocent suggestion, and you feel excitement pooling in the pit of your stomach. Jimin is known to be a cuddly sleeper and you always slept so good right next to him. Maybe it was his closeness and the feeling of safety and comfort, it doesn’t matter, you just know that you want to spend this night like this. So with a nod, you’re already walking to his bedroom just to be welcomed by that muscular and soft vanilla scent you love so much. It brings you back to the times, when both of you spent your school nights watching movies and eating popcorn. 

By the time Jimin turns off the light in the living room and comes to his bedroom, he can spot you already taking his spot on the bed causing him to chuckle. 

“Some things never change.” he jokes as he crawls on the bed, hearing you chuckling as you cuddle into his pillow. It smells like his shampoo mixed with his scent, causing you to shamelessly sniff it.

“Shut up.” you grumble, your voice muffled by his pillow and he grins, but doesn’t say anything. The tiredness coming onto him again, his eyes slowly shutting until he falls asleep again. 

Yours and Jimin’s friendship has been through so many obstacles, from heartbreakers to failures in schools following with failing to find a proper job. You both have been through a lot, individually and together but the most important thing is that you always stood by each other. Maybe that’s what makes your friendship so precious and you wouldn’t trade it for anything in your life. 

But maybe, the biggest obstacle you both have been through was the time, when Jimin called you with a panicked voice. 

“Are you alright?” you asked him once you heard the panic in his voice. Did he already got fired from his new job? You almost wanted to joke about it but something was telling you that was not it. And you were right. 

“S-she’s pregnant.” Jimin stutters but manages to tell you clearly as your whole world stops. 

You already know who he means. It’s Jimin’s girlfriend he has for the past year. You’re shocked because Jimin was never the type to sleep around, but understandably, that doesn’t mean this can’t happen. It was bound to happen. He has a girlfriend, of course they’re having sex. You even heard him a few times whenever you wanted to welcome him with a surprise visit, just to be met with his bed screeching and Areum’s moans. You never paid him a surprise visit since then. And again, it was bound to happen – Jimin having a baby. It doesn't mean it had to be with Areum, but Jimin constantly bragged about how he likes babies. You were pretty sure he is more excited to be a father than you a mother. 

But it still caught you off guard to hear him say that. 

“Are you sure? What if it’s just pregnancy scare?” 

You already had a few of those in your friendship – you calling him all scared that you’re pregnant and not ready to have a baby. That was four years ago.

Your insides are shivering for Jimin but you still manage to compose your voice with strength. 

“She took like five tests and even went for a check-up. She is pregnant.” he told you and you’re sure he is bitting his nails off, as he does whenever he is nervous. 

“We will figure this out together, okay?” 

That very day, you met him at his place seeing him pacing around his living room like a restless puppy. His voice doe and full of fear as he enveloped your body in a hug, a hug he needed.

“She wants to... take it. S-she told me she is not ready to be a mom.” he explained to you shakily, once he slightly calms down from his pacing state. 

“What do you think about it?” you asked him, carefully watching the pale face which belongs to your friend. 

“I want her to keep it. Even if she doesn’t want it, it’s our baby.” 

You understood what Areum is probably thinking. She is young. There are more younger mothers out there, but it doesn’t mean she must be one of them. She was dating Jimin for a year only, it was too soon to become parents. She is scared just as Jimin. 

But you know Jimin’s thoughts. He would never allow to let his own child to be killed, not even when he isn’t prepared for taking care of someone else. But luckily, he has you. 

“Are you able to take care of a child?” you asked him slowly, not wanting to sound like you’re doubting him – because you weren't. You just had to be sure if he’s even sure with his decision in the first place. 

“I’ve a stable job, they pay me well. I’ll manage.” he tells you after a few beats of silence and you smile, holding his shaky hands. 

“I’ll help you, I promise.” 

You supported his decision no matter what – something which Areum couldn’t do. Somehow, Jimin pursued her to keep the baby claiming he will take care of it. She agreed on one condition – she doesn’t want to be a mother. There was a small part of you that understood her. She just wasn’t ready, but neither was Jimin and he still took his responsibility. But as soon as Jimin called you that his little girl is on the way, you both sprinted to the hospital. And when you saw that small bundle of joy with puckered lips mimicking Jimin’s; you fell in love, feeling a slight hatred towards Areum for not wanting such a cute baby. After that, she disappeared. No calls, no messages. 

It’s not like they need her.

Not when they both have you. 

“Awh, look at her. She is such a eater.” you coo at the small baby wiggling her legs happily, as she sucks the bottle’s nipple as if she just wasn't eating twenty minutes ago. 

Jimin comes from the kitchen, the white baby cloth drawled on his shoulder as he smiles widely at the sight of both of you. He hands a can of beer to Daniel, your boyfriend, as he comfortably sits on the couch. 

“Thanks, man.” he says once he pops the can open, which Jimin nods to with a friendly smile before he scurries back to you and Mihi. 

“I just feel bad that she is being fed off from formulas.” he murmurs under his breath, a slight scowl appearing on his face but disappearing right after his daughter opens her eyes slightly. 

You know that Jimin’s been struggling with a lot of things, ever since Mihi was born. He always felt like he is failing, even though he is doing an awesome job at being father. He wants to give her everything, and even the slightest issue keeps occupying his mind. Like the fact that she isn’t being fed by breastfeeding. 

“Sorry, I don’t have milk, I’m not pregnant nor having a baby.” You joke, giggling to each other as Daniel eyes the two of you – already used to your weird humour that you both have. 

And while you both chat while looking at Jimin’s daughter, Daniel notices the way your eyes shine and how amazing you look with a baby in your arms.

Like a real mother.

“Aaah! Fuck!” Daniel cums into the condom, as your nails scratch his shoulders slightly, causing him to shudder as his weight falls on you. 

Your own cum leaks out of you as you shift on your spot, causing Daniel to lift his weight off you and pull out. You both cringe at the oversensitivity as you take the sheet to hide your naked body. Watching Daniel to sliding off the condom and throwing it into a small bin in the corner of his room, he crawls back to you. You’re ready to excuse yourself and take a shower to wipe of the cum and sweat on your body, but his next words are stopping you before you can even catch a breath.

“Let’s have a baby.”

“W-what?” you sit down so abruptly that you almost bump into his forehead causing him to chuckle. He was ready for this kind of reaction. 

“Let’s have a baby. I want to have a baby with you.” he tells you again with a soft tone, taking your one hand that’s wrapped around the sheet and starts massaging it. 

“Where is this coming from?” 

You’re so confused, still not quite understanding the current situation. 

“Well... I just saw you yesterday with Mihi and I-- I don’t know, something came over me. You just looked so good and I couldn't stop imaging how good you would look like with our baby.”

You love Daniel. At least that’s what you made yourself believe to safe yourself from a heartbreak. Dating him for two years, you know everything about him. His whole family, as he knows yours. A couple of vacations you both went together. Your families practically vouching for you to get married. You already got accrued to the idea of marrying him. He is kind, loving and very intelligent man. He treats everyone with respect, almost too good for you. 

“But we’re just dating. Isn’t this so soon?” 

You had couple of conversations about starting a family, but it was something so distant, which you both planned after a couple of years. Not right now. The conversations about family frankly started when Mihi was born, the idea of it coming naturally as you spent almost every day at Jimin’s, helping him to take care of a newborn. You basically dedicated your whole life to them, not shutting off your phone, not even once in case something bad would happen. 

“Let’s marry then.” he shrugs and you can’t help but burst in laughter as he confusingly stares at you. 

“Are you serious? You want to knock me up and marry me all of a sudden?” 

It sounds ridiculous coming from your mouth, but that’s what this situation looks to you. Ridiculous.

“Well, don’t say it like that.” he mutter with a sigh, looking at you with disappointment as you stop laughing. 

“I’m sorry, I’m just so surprised by all of this. This is so all of a sudden.” you tell him honestly, still slight amusement dancing on your lips but you don’t allow a laugh of disbelief escaping once again. Not when he is looking at you like a kicked puppy right now. 

“I told you I want to marry and have kids with you countless times.” he sounds almost offended for some reason causing you to sigh. He is really serious about this. 

“That’s true, I just didn't know you would want that, like, right now.” you mumble, starting to fiddle with the end of his plain sheet. 

“I thought you wanted this as well. Who the hell cares when we will do it? As long as we both are on the same page.” 

A deep frown settles on his face as he looks at you with slight disappointment and you start to feel bad for laughing at him at first. It doesn’t sound too ridiculous now, not when you remember all the conversations you both had. You just wasn’t expecting him doing it now and this way. 

“C-can I think it through?” you ask cautiously, not wanting to anger him because you know, that deep down he is a good guy and he loves you very much. He even wanted you to move with him, but you declined. He showers you with flowers and chocolates every Friday, just to remind you that he loves you. You feel bad for not returning his love. Maybe all he wants in return is marriage and kids. 

“Of course,” he says, pecking your forehead before he stands up in his naked form. You eye the set of his abs, causing you to blush when he catches you to stare. “I’m gonna take a shower. You can join me.” he speaks as he leaves from his bedroom. 

But you don’t join him – not when your mind is racing so wild that the first person you can think of is Jimin. You have to tell him this. 

“She grew up so much!” you coo as you slowly shut down the door from Mihi’s small nursery. 

Jimin snorts, making his way to the couch where he tiredly slouches his entire body. You ignore the way his jeans stretch around his thick thighs and shirts rides up, showing a bit of his skin. “You saw her yesterday.” 

“Got a problem, Park?” you bark jokingly, causing him to chuckle as he shakes his head. The end of his eyes crinkle and you have to look away from the pleasant smile, not wanting him to catch you staring. 

“So what’s up?” Jimin speaks up after a five seconds silence between the two of you, eyeing you with wary eyes. 

“What-- what’s up?” you look away, feeling busted as you stutter over your words. Jimin can read you like an opened book, making it hard for you to mask it. 

“Don’t give me that look. You’ve been acting weird ever since you came. I told you that you don’t have to come every day, as much as I appreciate your help, I get that you have your own li--”

“Daniel wants to have a baby with me.” you cut him off from the bullshit spilling from his mouth. He always doesn’t forget to remind you that you have your own life. He never came off as unappreciative or not wanting your help, that’s not it, quite the opposite actually. He never misses a chance to show you his gratitude for you helping him as much as you can – that involves you sleeping over a few days in a week to help him with Mihi.

“What?” Jimin speaks after a beat of silence, his brows not raised as you expected, instead of nonchalant tone and face expression adoring his face. 

“Honestly, I don’t know what came over him. He told me he saw me with Mihi and he wants to have a baby with me, oh, and he wants to marry me apparently. It sounds crazy, right? Like, I’m young and although I would love to have a baby, I kinda feel like I don’t, y’know? Mihi is like my...” you trail off awkwardly, stopping yourself just in the right time. 

You were about to say that Mihi is like your own daughter, in a weird but understandable way. You’re practically raising that baby with Jimin. And Jimin probably knows exactly what you were about to say, doesn’t take the smartest person to know, causing him to smile slightly.

His heart warms at your words, the weird feeling bubbling in his stomach as you refer to Mihi as if she was your daughter. But then another feeling comes and he bites the inside of his cheek as he sees your flushed face. 

“And what do you want? Do you want to have a baby with him?” 

“I mean.. I always wanted to have my own family and Daniel is just.. kind.” 

You are embarrassed from the way it comes out of your mouth, even more when you see Jimin’s eyes eyeing you suspiciously like he knows something you don’t. 

“Kind? That's it?” he sounds surprised as he scowls. “Aren't you suppose to describe the love of your life differently?” 

Jimin isn’t stupid and it’s like a slap to your face as he exposes you without him even knowing it. 

“Do you even love him?”

Something about the way he asks it and he looks at you with deep brown with suspicious in his eyes, you feel like a deer caught in highlights. And the first thing you do is panic, widening your eyes hoping Jimin wouldn’t see through your facade which is probably already broken. 

“O-of course! I love him!” you’re trying to pursue yourself and Jimin at the same time as he looks at you with knowing eyes. Fuck. 

“You don’t.” It doesn’t come out as rude or something like that, it’s just simple statement with no emotion behind his words causing you to gulp. 

“I do!” you’re still trying pursue him as he only raises a one brow at you.

“C’mon, Y/N, just admit it. You don’t love that guy.”

That guy. Since when does he call Daniel that? 

You see some cold emotion flash behind his eyes as he stares at you with not so warm emotion like he usually does. He seems to be pissed for some reason? 

“Don’t tell me what I feel, Jimin. I love Daniel.” 

You’re still stubborn and Jimin clenches his jaw at that while he slowly shakes his head in disbelief. 

“I don’t have to tell you what you feel. It’s written all over your face.” he scoffs bitterly, looking away from you as you open your mouth.

“You don’t know nothing, Park,” you bark, not caring that your voice is getting too loudly. “I can imagine the rest of my life with Daniel!”

“Fine, then let him knock you up!” Jimin snaps so bitterly and coldly, that it makes you flinch but he doesn’t seem surprised. His breathing is heavy as he keeps glaring at you. What the fuck just happened?

You never really fight with Jimin and the fact that you just fought over something so ridiculous, you can't wrap your head around it. But your stubborn self is not giving up, it’s childish, but you still want to prove Jimin that he is wrong. 

“Y’know what? I will!” Standing up abruptly, your feet pad against the floor as you’re already putting on your shoes. 

“Where are you going?” Jimin asks, slowly tracing after you with crossed arms over his chest. He still doesn’t look friendly, quite the opposite actually. 

“To Daniel.” If you could, you would probably stick your tongue out at him but that would be too much. So without looking back you storm out of his apparent with a deep scowl and heavy heart. 

When you said you'd come back to Daniel; you lied. You just said that to spite Jimin, even though you're pretty aware how immature and childish that was of you. So when your friend Sona called you, asking you about drinks, you agreed right away. You're not the type to get drunk when shits get real, but it's been a while since you've loosened up.

Anytime Sona, or anyone of your thin circle of friends, asked you to go out, you were too busy. Busy with helping Jimin or spending time with Daniel, so naturally, the rest of your friends were somewhere at the end of your list of priorities.

The night goes smoothly as you finally catch up to your old friends, mostly them scolding you for not spending more time hanging out with them, but of course, they understand your need to help Jimin. They know you have a special relationship with him. And when they point out that you're acting weirdly and there is something clearly going on with you, tequila shots sounds good. It sounds even better when you can't find yourself to focus on whatever your friends are telling you, trying to catch up with you, when your mind is filled with Jimin and your arguments. The both of you rarely fight with each other, so it affects you more than it should.

“Well, whatever the two of you fought about, I'm sure you guys will work it out.” Sona tells you, gulping the rest of her drink. You didn't exactly tell her what the two of you fought about. Not the right time to talk about your boyfriend suddenly wanting a baby with you, or your best friend pursuing you about your own feelings.

“Yeah, I hope so.” you mumble, feeling the alcohol warming your insides. You still can't properly enjoy yourself, but you feel your thoughts are less annoying and pushy.

“How's Daniel? You could bring him, y'know, we don't bite.” she chuckles, surprising you by asking you about Daniel.

The thing is, your friends barely know him. Is it funny that you hang out with them with Jimin more than your own boyfriend? Her question makes you to realize it even more.

“He's busy tonight.” The lie comes smoothly past your lips and you hate yourself for lying to her, but it's better than explaining everything.

Hell, you haven't seen her for a few weeks. This is not the right time to talk about your issues. The first thing you can think of, is to wave at the bartender asking him for another shot while Sona starts to talk about her recent vacation with her boyfriend. After a fair amount of alcohol, enough to let you slur and stutter over your words, you pull out of your phone once you're outside to get some fresh air.

The clock on the phone is blurry, but after couple of minutes staring at it like some lunatic, you find out it's one in the morning. Even the alcohol couldn't wash out all the guilt you feel from your fight with Jimin, so calling him seems like a good idea.

It takes him couple of rings to finally pick up and once he does, you regret it. The guilt is even stronger when you feel the tiredness in his voice and soft cries in the background.

“Y/N?”

He sounds surprised, probably why you're calling him this late. Well, at least you didn't wake him up but from the cries, which are obviously coming from Mihi, you know he's having a rough night.

“H-hi,” you stutter, cursing at yourself for sounding so weak and surprised.

You're the one who called him, you dumbass!

“Is everything alright?”

You screw your eyes shut when you hear his soft voice, not sounding angry a one bit. That's probably one of the things you love about him the most. He can't stay angry for too long. And maybe, he's angry but he is freaking exhausted. Not maybe; you're sure that he is exhausted. He's raising a baby all alone and you're not there to help him.

“Yeah, I just, uh, wanted to hear your voice.” The slur in your voice is clear to your own ears and you're sure even Jimin caught on the difference in it.

“Are you drunk?” There is a slight tone shifting in his voice. You can perfectly picture his furrowed brows and plump lips as he realizes that yes, you're drunk.

“Maybe?” you murmur, giggling to yourself right after as you hear him sigh on the other end. “I'm sorry.”

You're the one who sighs, defeat clear in your voice as Jimin stays quiet on the other end. That's why you continue in your little ramble, you're not sure if he's listening to you but you still continue. “I'm sorry for, I don't even know what I did, but I'm sorry. I don't want us to fight, okay? I love you, Jimin. I don't know what I'd do without you.”

Jimin sucks in breath, shutting his eyes for a moment before he sighs again, the exhaustion making his head spin at your clueless rambling. “Go home, Y/N. Is there someone who can I take you home safely?”

Another thing you love about him. He's so caring, even though he probably finds you annoying. Annoying drunk type, actually.

“Yeah.” you whisper, kind of disappointed he ignored your lame attempt of apology and that he didn't address it properly.

“Good,” he sighs, relief washing over him.

You're remembered to all the times he was your number one driver, picking you up in your most desperate times. That has changed, since he's having a little baby. And something's telling you that he'd do the same thing right now, grabbing his keys and picking your drunk ass up. But he can't. Or maybe it's just you hopelessly hoping that's what he would do.

“We'll talk about this later, okay?” he asks, when you hear Mihi's cries again, your heart breaking. She's asking for her daddy while you're here, occupying him with your drunken bullshit. “I gotta go. Be safe, Y/N.”

Mihi's louder cries and the phone call being cut is the last thing you hear, causing your head to throw back against the cold bricks of a building.

Your little fight ruined everything, right?

“Have you thought about it?”

Your body freezes for a good ten seconds before you've a courage to actually look into Daniel's eyes.

“You're still thinking about the baby?” you ask him right away, knowing he's been initiating it ever since you sat next to him on the couch. He thought he's being slick but you noticed his hands grazing your skin every now and then, becoming more touchy than usual.

“Of course, you're not?”

Your mouth falls open and you stare at him as if he is just the stupidest person in the world, even he notices it. His Adam's apple bops at the way you stare at him before frowning. “No.” you tell him honestly.

He feels like you just hit him with something in the face, a look of betrayal crossing over his not so soft features. “But why? I thought we love each other.”

“Daniel,” you start, not liking the way where this conversation is going. He's getting frustrated for some reason. Whatever you'll say won't end up good. “We can love each other without having any kids anytime soon.”

“But you love me, right?” he asks you. You should react straight away, being hundred percent sure of your answer but you don't react for a good five seconds.

He eyes you, narrowing his eyes at you while you shake out of your trance. “Yes.” you tell him and he sighs, a breath of relief escaping his lips.

“Good,” he nods, “So why don't you want to deepen our relationship?”

Once you think this conversation is over, his voice cuts out through the silence and you can't help but tense.

“By marrying to you and having a baby? What the hell is wrong with you?” you exclaim, the last drop of patience leaving your form.

“Me?!” He has the audacity to actually sound offended as he frustratedly stands up, throwing daggers at you with his eyes. “And what about you, huh?”

“Me?” The look of confusion taking over your features doesn't go unnoticed by him.

“Yes, you! Don't play dumb with me.”

You're shocked and confused for a second, especially by his sudden outburst. He has never talked to you like that, the little vein popping on his forehead is showing much more anger than you thought he's holding. But then you're offended by the tone he's speaking to you. Who the hell does he think he is?

“You don't wanna have anything to do with me! Is it all sex for you?”

The accusation leaves you speechless, but most importantly, it hurts you. You and Daniel both know that's not true. You haven't been intimate for a few weeks. The last time you've been intimate he dropped the whole 'baby bomb' at you. You couldn't bring yourself to have sex with him, not when the baby was the only thing on his mind.

“You know it's not about that!”

You abruptly stand, mimicking his own pose as he keeps glaring at you. “Do I? Because I don't think you're quite telling the truth right now. I'm surprised you've been with me this long and I wondered why is that. At first, I really thought that you chose me. That you really want to be with me, even though I had to put up with that amazing best friend of yours. I was alone at home, waiting for you to get back while you were playing a mother role to the kid that's not even yours!”

“Don't you dare bring her into this!” Your reaction is natural, your finger dangerously pointed at him.

“But how can I not?! She's the reason you were taken from me! Not just her, but Jimin as well!” he frustratedly yells and for a moment, you're scared of him. He keeps trashing with his hands while his face is getting redder by every second, but then his voice cracks and you know he's mostly hurt than angered.

“Daniel, he's my best friend. I had to help him, I thought we already talked about this.”

You remind him that time when Mihi was born. You weren't that ignorant not to let him know that you'll be helping Jimin. He knew it from the beginning and accepted it. And that's what you exactly tell him.

“Yeah, but that was before I realized something.”

“What?” you ask anyway, even though you're not sure if you really want to know.

He sighs, covering his face with his palms as he rubs his face for a few seconds. And when he finally reveals his face, your breath hitches. His eyes are red with tears threatening to fall.

“That you don't love me,” he tells you, his own words hurting him even more as he says it loudly, getting it off his chest.

“Daniel, that's--”

“Stop,” he pleads. “You don't love me. I was understanding about the whole baby situation, I really was. But the way you care for him, Y/N... you're not only being his best friend.”

You gulp, not liking where is this heading. “Where are you heading with this?”

“I think you know,” he tells you without actually saying it. “Maybe some part of you love me, but you don't love me that way. Not the way I want to.”

Is he really breaking up with you because you care about Jimin and Mihi? You want to be angry, you want to yell at him for being delusional because he's only jealous. But you know he's right.

“The baby thing. Was it just because you were jealous?” you ask him just to be met with his regretful eyes.

“So petty of me, right? I thought if you really wanted something more deeper with me, you'd agree right away. But I saw your face. I saw the way you looked at me. As if I was the biggest idiot on the whole planet. You never considered it. Not even once.”

His words are cutting deep, the honesty behind them even deeper.

“But I love you.”

It's weak and even you yourself, don't believe your own words and so does Daniel. He scoffs at your attempt of making things right.

“No, I think you're just making yourself to believe that,” he tells you, his voice much calmer than just a few seconds ago. He steps closer, your teeth roughly biting your lips that you feel the iron taste in your mouth. “Deep down,” he points his finger to your heart and you shudder at the faint touch, “you know I'm right. You just have to admit it.”

With the last kiss on your forehead, he grabs his jacket and leaves. He's not angry. He is hurt, because you hurt him. And there's only one person who can make you feel better.

“I'm going!”

Fuck. Since when are you becoming so nervous just from hearing his voice?

You finally managed to find the courage to face Jimin, expect the occasional messages you've been texting. They mostly consisted of you asking about Mihi, Jimin sending you some pictures of her which easily made you coo at the screen of your phone. Or just simple text like 'how have you been' and 'what were you doing today?' which were extremely awkward. You've never been so awkward with each other. Why not? The argument you both had, clicked something in the both of you.

And now, maybe you're--

The door snaps open, your thoughts immediately leaving as soon as you see him. His hair is slightly disheveled, as if he was just pacing around the apartment, which he probably was as you see the washcloth drawled across his shoulder. “Y/N?”

He sounds as surprised as he looks, causing you to chuckle nervously. “Long time no see, huh?”

“Yeah,” he mutters, still taken aback by your sudden presence in front of his door, “Uh, come in.” he says, opening the front door widely for you to come in.

The place itself looks clean and it still carries the sweet scent of vanilla and baby products. It smells like home. Is it a weird thing to think that?

“Is Mihi here?” you ask, eyes wandering around the living room where you can't see any living soul. It's awfully quiet and you wonder if she sleeps.

“No, my mom is looking after her so I can have some work done.” he says, pointing towards the vacuum cleaner in the corner of the room and your heart drops.

You used to vacuum for him, so he can put Mihi to sleep, or you swapped with him.

“Am I interrupting?” you ask him, pushing yourself to look at him.

He sees the unsureness in your voice and the way you keep fumbling with the hem of your denim jacket; you're nervous. “You? Never.” he says, chuckling as he lightly shakes his head.

You do the same, a soft giggle finding its way out. The atmosphere seems lighter in the room. Good, he's not angry. You're both just awkward with each other.

“I'm glad to hear that. I was scared you wouldn't want to see me, considering our last... encounter.” you mutter awkwardly, voicing out your struggles.

“Why would you think something like that? I would never wouldn't want to see you.” he says, cringing at the way he structured the sentence and you can't help but laugh at that.

“I'm sorry.” you tell him, your brows raising while your lips pout. Your eyes starts to water causing Jimin to open his mouth in shock, before you're met with his chest as he pulls you closer.

You can smell him. His natural scent, the cologne that he must've sprayed on it later, the baby powder and everything that just is him.

“Ah, baby,” he mutters into your hair, your heart jumping at the nickname. “I was more mad at myself.”

“Why's that?” you slightly pull away, not freeing your arms around his slim waist. You just got him back, there's no way you're letting him go that easily – even if it means unwrapping your arms from his body.

“I shouldn't have burst at you like that. It's totally fine if you want to, y'know, have a baby with Daniel--” you both cringed at that and chuckle right after.

It's nice. You're both joking with each other, even if it's on the expanse of Daniel. “Me and Daniel broke up.” you sigh, Jimin's eyes widening.

“Really?” he asks, his voice sounding lighter than a minute ago. “I mean-- I'm sorry to hear that.” he coughs and you laugh, holding him tightly while he softly touches your cheek, thumb grazing over your cheekbone.

The weird thing is, none of you find it unusual or uncomfortable, quite the opposite actually. It comes natural.

“Hmm, I'm glad actually,” you hum, widening your eyes slightly as you realize what you have just said. “Is it wrong of me to say that?”

“Not when you really feel like that.” he murmurs, continuing with grazing your skin.

“He made me realize something.” 

Gulping, you nervously shift on your spot, Jimin's arms still securely wrapped around your frame.

Oh shit, here we go.

“Which is what?” he suddenly whispers, his voice sounds like a lullaby to your ears.

Unwrapping your arms from his waist, the only touch connecting the two of you are his hands on your face. He searches your eyes with his warm ones, slowly dropping them to your lips. His thumb moves to them, gently tugging them so you're not biting on them so harshly.

The whole touch and atmosphere is oddly... intimate between you two. It feels weirdly new and it causes your heart to beat faster, but it's nice. You like having him this close.

If he'll stay close after he hears what you're about to tell him.

“Hmm?” he asks, once you stayed quiet, shutting your mouth completely.

“That I love you?” you screech, hiding your face into his chest which vibrates with chuckle, followed with more intense laugh right after.

“I love you too. You know that.” he says, sightly pushing your head out of your secured hiding – his chest.

“Not like that,” you tell him, finding a courage to look deeply into his eyes. He cocks his head to the side, waiting for you to continue. He's not showing much of a reaction. That's a good sign, right? “I guess I always knew, I just didn't want in to be true because that would ruin everything. And with everything happening in your life, I don't think you'd ever think of me tha--”

“Hey, hey,” he stops you, softly cutting you off with gentle tone. He tucks a piece of hair behind your ear, smiling down at your nervous form. “Just tell me.”

“I love you,” you tell him and he smiles. He probably thinks you love him like a best friend and he's simply just quiet, waiting for you to say something. He doesn't react besides that smile going on his lips. “M-more than just a best friend.” you tell him, looking up to see his reaction.

You haven't realized you self-consciously moved your eyes down to your feet. “Say something. Why are you smiling?” you exclaim suddenly, not really understanding his reaction.

You expected everything, but not just this. “Because I love you too,” he says, grabbing your face once again into his hands. “more than just a best friend.” he whispers the last part, but you're already stunned, gawking at him.

He bites his lower lip in kind of, nervous but sexy way, as he stays quiet. It drives you crazy. But what he doesn't expect is for you to slap his chest, harshly, pulling away from him.

“What the fuck Jimin?” you burst in utter shock, “Since when?”

He chuckles, hiding his hands into the pockets of his sweatpants, which looks incredibly good around his thighs, hanging dangerously lowly. If it wasn't his large t-shirt, you'd be able to see some of his skin.

“Since... always, I think,” he says, slightly cringing at his crappy explanation. “I thought we're confessing right now.”

This man even has the audacity to joke, unbelievable.

“How are you so calm about this?” you ask him, clearly too shocked to even enjoy the happiness you feel.

“Because I’m glad and I can’t believe you feel the same way,” he tells you, nibbling on his bottom lip before he continues. “I've always loved you. I was gonna tell you, I was gonna break up with Areum. But then she got pregnant and I couldn't do that to you. I thought, not telling you would make my feelings go away. Or at least the thoughts about you. I thought taking care of Mihi would take my mind off you. But I couldn't help it and fell in love with you even more. When I saw you with her, the way you take care of the both of us, fuck,” he breathes out, his eyes watering a bit. “I just couldn't help it. I love you so much and I tried to save our friendship, because you were always the one.”

“Jimin...” you whisper, your own eyes watering at his confession.

“Can I just kiss you?” he asks and before you know, you're furiously nodding.

He doesn't waste any time, grabbing your face and pressing his plump lips onto yours. He pulls away, but he kisses you with more pressure right after, causing your arms to grab his biceps. This time, you respond just as passionate as Jimin, returning his kiss eagerly while his tongue starts to rummage inside of your mouth. His hands moves to your hips, pressing you into him more. You feel his firm body and as much as you enjoy his lips on yours, you need more.

“W-when is Mihi coming back?” you ask breathlessly, pushing away with a pop as Jimin chases your lips.

“Later in the evening,” he tells you, before he starts kissing you again. This time, he pulls away after a few seconds. “Why?”

“I want you to fuck me.” you tell him casually, his eyes widening.

“Ah fuck, you sure?” he asks breathlessly, feeling his body getting warmer just from the simple thought.

“Hundred percent sure.” you tell him before your mouths are crashing against each other, but this time Jimin is leading you to his bedroom. Your bodies stumbling over each other and you're sure if it wasn't for Jimin's strong hold, you'd already fall down your ass.

Pulling away from him, you push his chest causing him to stumble and fall down on the mattress. He seems to be surprised, but the corners of his mouth twitch in amusement. You pushed him, but it wasn't too rough – just enough to make him loose his balance. He wasn't expecting it, that helped.

“What, Park? No words?” you tease him, cocking your brow at him confidently as you see the tent being formed in his sweatpants.

Even more confidence washes over you, knowing you're the reason why he's feeling that way. It sparks something in you, other than the pleasure forming between your legs.

“Not when you're looking at me like that.” he points out, curving his lips into a smirk as he watches you standing in front of him.

Deciding to surprise him again, you play with the hem of your blouse for a while, before you take it off. Jimin watches you with amazement in his eyes. No one has ever looked at you like that. And you love it. You love the way Jimin looks at you.

“Holy god,” Jimin breathes, plopping himself on the elbows as he watches you to take off your jeans. The clothes pools around your ankles and you step out of it, eyes not leaving Jimin's. “You're gonna kill me.”

You're left in your red lacy underwear as you crawl onto the bed, sitting on Jimin's lap. You bite your lip once you feel the hard bulge right against your throbbing core. His hands find their way to your hips almost too naturally, his fingers grazing over your naked skin. You shudder, despite of his touch being warm and calming. Mindlessly shifting on your spot, you both moan at the friction of your crotches rubbing against each other. You kiss his neck, slowly sucking his skin there and he whimpers in the form of your name.

“Mhm, what?” you ask, fingers playing with his hair that is thrown back.

He hugs you closer to his body, at least that's what you thought as in one swift movement, he's rotating your bodies, switching your position. You yelp, surprised by the sudden movement as you lay on his previous spot.

“As much as I want to feel your touch, you playing with me, I don't have time for this,” he chuckles, it comes sinister from his mouth. “I wanted to taste this pussy since I can remember.”

And with that, he cups your clothed pussy and you whimper, feeling yourself to clench around nothing. You're desperate for touch, for anything that can give you some friction.

He pulls away and you're ready to protest, but you don't when he takes off his t-shirt, showing you his abs. You're surprised he still has them since he told you that he doesn't have enough time to work-out anymore. At least not as much. But you're not complaining, enjoying his honey looking skin. You don't have much time to do that, when he pushes your legs apart, eyes glancing at you for permission. Nodding, too quickly again, he chuckles and lays between them but not before he glances at your clothed core, sucking in breath. You're sure they're not covering your whole wetness and you blush, but still feel the pleasure bubbling in your stomach.

“You're beautiful.” he tells you, hands playing with the lacy hem of your bra before he hooks his fingers underneath the material, pulling it down letting your breast to pop up.

Your nipples perks right up while being met with cold air and Jimin hums in approval, sucking the exposed one.

“Ah, fuck!” you shamelessly moan out, probably too loud but you're alone. So, who cares?

“Mhm, fuck, indeed.” he tells against your nipple, circling his tongue around the perked nipple.

His praise and dirty words are doing much more to you, than you'd like to admit. It's enough to let you buckle your hips into his, causing the both of you to moan. “Not fair.” he hums, undoing your bra before your breasts are freed from the material.

He latches onto the other nipple, a set of curses leaving your lips. “What's not fair?” you tease him, a low breathy chuckle escaping his plump lips.

“I think you know.” he says, cupping your clothed wetness again, his eyes flickering to yours in question.

Nodding, there's nothing you can do than to encourage him to continue. You don't want him to stop. You know you're wet there by the feeling of material clinging to your core, probably feeling slightly embarrassed by it because he barely touched you. He paid special attention to your breasts and you're already leaking all over the thin material of your panties.

When he slides the material down your legs, he throws it somewhere behind him, not paying any more attention to it than it's needed. As much as you feel embarrassed and shy all of a sudden, you don't close your opened legs and simply let him watch him. You soon find out that your embarrassment was just stupid feeling caused by your self-consciousness, when you clearly see his cock twitching in his sweatpants. The sight of him, sitting on his knees while his arms are hooked around your thighs, doing all of this with naked chest and abs, is enough to make you clench again. It's almost pathetic, you've never this horny just by looking at someone but it's Jimin; he always made you feel a special way.

Jimin sucks in breath, his eyes following as more wetness spills from your tight hole. “Fuck, you're so fucking hot.” he comments and you shyly grin at him, before he envelopes your mouth with yours, having the urge to feel them again.

He can't get enough of you.

He grinds his crotch into yours, his hips stopping as the both you whimper at the sensation. “Jimin, take those fucking sweatpants on.” you mutter against his lips, causing him to chuckle at your impatience.

But he doesn't listen as he moves himself down, his face in front of your opened legs. You look at him, the look in his eyes is enough to tell you what he's about to do. Before you can open your mouth, he's already kissing your swollen clit who screams for attention, a loud moan finding its own way out.

Gripping the sheets tightly into your fists, you whimper as he licks a long stripe against your slit before he starts sucking you everywhere; your slit, folds, clit. He's restlessly moving, one hand gripping your hip while the other one is on your stomach, holding you down.

”Fuck, Jimin, just fuck me.” you tell him breathlessly, knowing he wants to savor you. You'd want that too, but you feel like you're going to cum any second and all you want is to feel him inside of you.

Fuck, you want to savour him too. You want to taste his cock, knowing it's probably bigger than you ever had in you. But there's no time.

“Patience, baby,” Your heart skips a beat at the nickname again. You could get used to it, it feels nice hearing him calling you that. “I need to stretch you out.” he says, too invested in the sight in front of him as he plugs his two fingers inside of you.

He's having no problem to get them inside, considering your wetness is slowly dripping towards your puckered hole, even though he just ate most of it. “Ah, getting cocky?” you chuckle but it's cut off immediately as he adds another one.

“Oh, baby, you've no idea what the cock of mine could do.” The low and dark chuckle leaving his lips causes your walls to wrap tightly around his fingers, which he obviously feels and sees by the way he smirks.

“Then fucking show me.” you tell him through gritted teeth, whimpering as he starts to slowly pump them in and out.

You're so close. You want to cum around his cock. You could just cum right now, but you know you'd be too sensitive to have sex right away.

A yelp resounds in the bedroom as he slaps your pussy, scowling at you. “Be nice.” he scolds you and you snort, causing him to slam his fingers harder into you. The grin on your face leaves in seconds.

“Jimin, please. I want to cum around your cock.” you plead, causing him to stop while he looks up from between your legs.

He slowly takes his fingers out, the fire in your stomach slowly dying but you're still feeling enough pleasure.  

“As you wish.” he tells you with a smirk, shifting his body up but still careful enough not to crash you underneath his weight.

Your nails find their way to his hard muscles, gripping his abs in your small hands. “I want to taste you.” you tell him, eyes looking at his visible bulge. Is he not wearing any underwear?

“Next time, baby. I need to feel you.” he tells you, kissing your nose softly before he reaches to his nightstand.

You turn your head to look at him grabbing the box of condoms, which wasn't used yet. Maybe you shouldn't feel such a good feeling knowing, he haven't had sex with anyone these days. Ever since Mihi was born, you know for a fact, that he hasn't been seeing anyone. There was no time for such a thing.

He notices your curious eyes as he opens the foil package. “I'm not ready for another baby yet.” he jokes and you join in him, although your stomach funnily tickles at that. If you and Jimin end up together, does that mean you're going to have a baby together? The thought of you having his child makes you happy, and weirdly enough, it turns you on.

“Ah, so you want to have kids with me?” you ask jokingly, although you feel nervous while waiting for his answer. You're only teasing him, but you really want to know. It's too soon to even think about that, but you can't help it since he brought it up. You're just about to have a sex for the first time, this is not the right time to talk about future and kids, but you feel very curious about it.

“I'm gonna have a lot of babies with you.” he tells you, giving you a peck before he smiles. Not a smirk, grin or anything that shows his playfulness, you see honest instead.

You smile back, the simple thought of having his babies and that he really wants them with you, is making you happy.

He slightly pulls away, dropping the condom onto the mattress as he pulls down the sweatpants. Fuck, he wasn't wearing any underwear.

“No underwear?” you gulp, your eyes trained on his pulsing cock with red head, pre-cum slowly pricking from its tip. Fuck, he's thick. You can't help it but simply admire it as he pumps it couple of times, smearing the pre-cum over his cock head.

“Wasn't expecting anyone to come.” he mutters, before a groan leaves his big lips.

“Ah, should I leave?” you tease him, his eyes snaps open as he scowls.

He reaches for the condom that lays beside your head, sliding it down his throbbing cock. “Fuck, no. There's no way I'm letting you go after this.”

It sounds as a promise and you know that it is, by the way he looks at you. It's hard to describe it, but you can see the love and honest behind his eyes. And you nod, nonverbally telling him the same as he kisses you, before he guides his cock to your entrance. He smears your wetness around his cock, so it'd be easier to slide in with the condom on.

“You ready?” he asks, parting your folds with his cock as he slowly waits for your approval.

“Hell yeah.” you tell him, probably with too much enthusiasm and impatience.

You both would laugh at that in other circumstances, but your mind is clouded with pleasure. So with that, he slowly pushes in, letting you a time to adjust to his size as he still keeps filling you. Surprisingly, when he's all in he doesn't stop and simply pulls out before filling you again. At first, he's slow, savoring the way your walls clench around his throbbing dick, your nails scratching his back.

“Good?” he asks breathlessly, carefully holding himself so he wouldn't crash you.

“Yeah, fuck me harder.” you tell him and he chuckles, before he pulls out and slams his cock into you harder this time. With each stroke, he moves harder, rougher and faster causing you to whimper.

It feels so good. Too good for you to enjoy it for too long as you feel the knot in your stomach. Your palms spread against his ass cheeks, encouraging him to fuck you this hard as he buries his head in the crook of your neck. He groans, silencing his own moans as he chases your pleasure.

“Fuck, I wanted to ride you.” you tell him, but he only groans in response as you feel him twitch inside of you.

“Next time baby, next time.”

He assures you with repeating those two words and that's all you need. There will be a next time. “Fuck, I think I'm gonna cum.”

You're surprised you both haven't already, considering that Jimin haven't had sex for a few months and for you, you haven't had sex this good with anyone. Maybe it's because the feeling you feel towards him, you've never felt about anyone like this. You thought you loved Daniel, but you know how wrong you were.

“Me too.” you whimper, feeling him holding himself on one hand as the other one glides down, pressing against your clit.

It takes two strokes for you to gasp, cumming around his cock as he keeps chasing his own high. He follows you a few seconds after you, spilling himself into the condom. He lays down on your chest, not pulling out as he savors the feeling of being inside of you. He's heavy, but not that heavy to actually hurt you, so you wrap your arms around him holding him closer to you. You're both sweaty, probably reek of sex and sweat, but you don't move apart. You're both appreciating the feeling of each other's closeness.

“I love you.” he simply mumbles into your neck, causing you to smile as you say it back.

You lay like this couple of more minutes, even when his softened cock slides out of your hole, causing your cum to slowly drip down. “Shit, I just stained your sheets.” you cringe as you feel it on and under your ass.

“That's fine, gonna change it later.” he tells you as he finally moves from you, laying beside you on his back.

His cheeks are red, lips looking abused by all the making out but his eyes shine, the after-sex glove evident on his face. You've never seen him like this, but he's beautiful for sure. Even if his hair is a mess, sticking to his forehead in sweat. You're sure you look just as same, just slightly less beautiful. He slides off the condom, putting it somewhere which you can't really see nor care, due to your fucked up state. He pulls you towards his chest, cuddling you despite of you saying you're both sticky.

“Let's just stay like this for a while.” he tells you simply and you can't help but giggle at that.

“We've been laying like this for ten minutes already.” you point out, cuddling  to him even more. You feel your sensitive clit rubbing against your thighs and you bite your lip to prevent from any sound to come out. You feel the slight ache between your legs, knowing it'll be even more present tomorrow but you're fine with that.

He doesn't tell you anything for a moment, fingers caressing your naked shoulder as he sighs. “I was scared.” he tells all of a sudden, causing your brows to furrow.

“Of what?”

“Us.”

Your heart stops for a second and you hope he doesn't regret what happened between you two. He can probably see the way your whole body freezes, because he gives you a soft peck to your hair.

“I was scared of loosing you and part of me still is. What if it's not going to work between us? Maybe we don't feel that way right now, but you never know. I don't want to loose our friendship. The thought of loosing you is scaring me so fucking much.”

You feel the pain and sadness in his voice at the simple thought, and you can't say that you don't feel the same. That was the main part why you wouldn't acknowledge your true feelings.

“I feel the same way,” you whisper, your own fingers caressing his firm chest. “But we'll figure it out. I know for a fact that I love you and I wouldn't change this for anything.”

Jimin agrees with you, playing with your hair now as he hums. “I feel so bad. I started to date Daniel, hoping that he'd change the way I feel about you, that he would make me fall in love with him.” you admit loudly, the guilt of using Daniel like this slowly making its appearance.

You never meant to hurt him or literally use him. You liked him enough to imagine your life with him. You just knew he wasn't the one your heart's craving for.

“When I started to date Areum, I thought the same thing. I liked her. At first, she was just a one night stand to take my mind off you because you just started dating Daniel and I couldn't bare watching you being with someone else. But then I noticed that she's nice and friendly. So I gave it a shot and just when I was ready to break up with her, to tell you my feelings...” he trails off and you nod, letting him know you know what he was about to tell you.

You both talked about this before you had sex. He was ready to confess but she got pregnant. Then she left him and he stayed with a baby on his own. “Even if I told you back then and you'd confess back. I didn't want to bring you into my life even more than you are and make you feel like you have to be a mother to a kid that's not even your.”

“Don't talk like that. Mihi is like my daughter.” you tell him, chuckling with him because you know you've been a huge help to him.

Your camera roll on your phone is filled with Mihi's baby photos, your whole life is revolving around her. There is not a minute you don't think about that baby and how much you want to kiss her small hands and face. You feel so much love towards her, even though she isn't biologically your own kid. But none of that matters.

“I felt selfish when I was with Areum,” Jimin says, talking out loud his thoughts as you hum, letting him know he can continue. “Because it’s only been you. From the beginning.”

“It's only been you as well. I'm just sorry I haven't realized, or acknowledged it sooner.” you tell him and he smiles kissing you lightly.

“I don't want anyone else, but you,” he tells you and you blush under his warm eyes. “No one can make me feel the things you do,” he continues and you bite your lips as your heart bursts with love. Your eyes filling with tears of happiness and love as he takes a breath, before he repeats:

“It's you. It always been you and only you.”

[slashingdisneypasta]

Teen!Chucky /Charles Lee Ray x Reader || Oneshot

Title: Night Time Air 

Notes:

·         Y/B/F: Your best friend

·         This was inspired by Season 5 Pretty Little Liars when Caleb and Alison are rocky and Alison tries to tell Hanna not to be with him, and she goes ahead and gets back together with him. 

·         Told you I would overuse this gif. 

·         I should be doing requestssssss

Plot: 

Chucky is the boy at your school, that is well known for all the bad things he has done. He has no respect for anyone except… maybe you… and he is unpredictable, which is exactly why your friend, your bitchy, not-really-your-friend, frenemy-that-you-only-spend-any-of-your-time-with-because-your-real-friends-like-her tries to order you not to hang out with him.

You don’t take it well.

Warnings: Language maybe? 

~~~

It takes a few seconds before I can clear my enough, and stop myself from jumping to the conclusion of what she’s trying to tell me. Demand of me. “What?”

“You shouldn’t hang out with him anymore. I mean, I know he’s pretty and everything,” With a roll of her eyeshadow heavy eyes, she tries to infer to me, that my friendship with Chucky is so skin deep. Again, I bite my tongue and stop myself from saying anything, but oh, are there things coming to mind that I wish I would say. “But he’s never been any good, since kindergarten. I’m just looking out for you, you know. You know that I love you.” Oh, sure.

My blood boils at her words, and the fake way she tilts her head and furrows her eyebrows, the  touch she manages to land on my arm before I flinch away that makes me feel disgusting. She has to be aware that we are not friends, and there is no one else around so where does she get off saying this stuff to me. Demanding something, from me like she’s got any authority. “Maybe you didn’t sense my complete disbelief the first time through your hairspray; I understand chemicals can interfere with alien sensory technology. So, let me say it again. What?”

“Woho,” She laughs, but I see under the thin, unimpressive veil of counterfeit that completes her look of total bitch, that she was not expecting a snap back like that. “Wow, Y/N. No need to get salty… “

Something about the night air has made me confident tonight, for sure. Because at school, there’s no way I’d say these things to her. I’m glad I came out tonight! “I don’t know where you think you get the authority to tell me what to do, but you’re mistaken.” Nervously, I glance past her into Y/B/F’s house to see if they were looking at us, because the last thing I need is drama with the others after this, and then stonily back at Jane. “Tell the others whatever, I’ll set it straight tomorrow. I gotta go, I happen to know where Chucky’ll be tonight.”

She narrows her eyes and looks miffed, but I’m already turning around, shoving my hands into the pockets of my jacket and walking off down the street. God, I’m glad I said that. Its been dying to come out since I realised I didn’t like her in the first place- it might stir some trouble in our group, but its better she knows I don’t like her then to let her keep thinking she any control in my life. Besides, I’d kinda… I’d much rather go see Chucky then stay in and play forced Monopoly with her for the rest of the night, and wake up in the morning with moustache drawn on my face.

When I get to my destination, I don’t see him but I don’t get to wonder if he just hasn’t come to the playground tonight like he brags he does every night -like some edge master on the big screen,- because he calls my name and I turn around to see him walking over from another street. “What are you doing here?” He stops in front of me on the woodchips and stuffs his hands in his trench coat pockets, grinning down at me in a way that gives me the strangest feeling that he’s glad I’m here. “Thought you’d be… Ahhh, I dunno, enjoying skimpy girl sleepover activities? See, I listen to you. Unless I got the day wrong?” I wish we could move somewhere else, maybe walk around, but he’s just standing and looking at me with his grin like I’m a weeping angel.

Instead of staying there and talking about my run in with Jane, although I’m sure he’d love to hear about it -he doesn’t like her either. One of the many things we talk about when we’re together,- , I turn and head for the swing. “Skimpy girl sleepover activities? Sounds like you put some thought into that!” I tease, sitting in a swing and pushing off. There’s something very free, about playing on a playground when its dark, and no on else is around. I suddenly get why its such a popular teenage stereotype. Not too far out of my comfort zone like most adult things that I want to do or am being pushed to try, but still new.

He laughs. “Would’ve come by and visited if I knew where your girl friend lived.” Turning my head, I watch Chucky come around and get in the other swing, but not push off.

“You would’ve been disappointed. We had intensive plans to snuggle up in our skivvy’s and raincoats and watch Singin’ In The Rain. But I would’ve made room for you!” Which is true. I would. I definitely would. I’d love to ‘accidentally’ fall over and snuggle with him. Totally would. Any day. Yes.

Watching him grin to himself at my dumb joke gives me little tummy squirms, so I take a deep breath as I swing and look away. “Oh well. Glad I get you, tonight. They always seem to win your time.”

“They’re my best friends… “I say, falling backwards and feeling my hair fly after me, on either side of my face. Then turn and grin at Chucky, curiously. “You’ve never expressed any desire to hang with me more, before.”

“Well its not like I have many friends apart from you… “He trails off, but his face doesn’t reveal any sadness or forlorn desire to change that. I know, for a fact, that he doesn’t like anyone else at our school. He has nicknames for them all! And none flattering. He turns to me sharply, causing my heart to seize in my chest. Oh my god. “Custody agreements, how would I go about winning weekends with you?”

Rolling my eyes, I look away and keeping swinging, distracting myself from him. “Mm, payment’s a bit dear,” I mutter, loud enough for him to hear but quiet enough to be a mutter to myself. I wanted to reply, but I don’t want him to hear the rest of that quip. Which is ‘Its you have to kiss me’.

Seems the night air isn’t just making me confidently mean, tonight…

“I bet… “He says back, not quite to me and under his breath, the same as how I said it. Then he gets up from the swing and looks around, shifty eyed. “Let’s walk around a bit.”

He looks bored, so I slow down the swing and pop off, not noticing he moved right in front of me until I’ve hopped right into him. “Nice going, pal! Smart move!” I exclaim sarcastically, and push out of his arms and away from his face, which is grinning cheekily and laughing.

“Dunno what you’re complaining for, I’m not the only one who got to second base just then! Wanna try for first?”

“You’re very funny.” I say, forcing an irritated tone through my smiling face. Its times like these, when I thank having a crush on such a loudmouth and tease. “As if.”  

“Yeahh, right. Whatever, come on.” He starts walking, scooping me up on the way, walking with his arm over my shoulders… like friends. Friends. This is friendly, I remind myself quickly. These moments, when he touches me and acts like we’re a couple, are when I curse having a crush on such a loudmouth and tease. We walk around the park, not leaving the gleam of the streetlights, but leaving the mulch of the playground for the grass surrounding it. After a while of conversation about school, and other kids in our class -never touching his father or mine, this night time playground acting as sanctuary, - , we hit a lull in the conversation, and I watch our feet wading through the luscious grass, due to excessive levels of rain recently. My fingers feel like icey poles. He hasn’t removed his arm from me the entire time we’ve been walking, though, so at least the rest of me is warm. “So, what happened to your sleepover anyway. Cancelled or did you blow them off?”

“Uh… I blew it off.” For you. Of course, I don’t utter the last words. Too much of a chicken shit to finish the deal, even feeling the night air on my cheeks.

“There’s my bad girl.”

“Hah,” Thank god, its too cold for my cheeks to heat up. I glance at his face, and do a double take. He’s waiting for the rest of the story! Uhhhhh… “Um, well, we… Jane said something annoying, you know.” Flashing him an awkward half-smile, I see he’s still waiting for the kicker and look away again, picking up his other hand and lacing my fingers through his, to distract me. “Here, warm my fingers up, they’re icey.” As his fingers willingly wrap around mine, I don’t have to glance to feel his look edging me on for the rest of the story. I sigh. “Well, she said something dumb about not wanting me to hang out with a certain bad boy loner type with yucky hair, and I didn’t feel like sticking around.”

“I’m gonna ignore the part about my great hair for the moment, because I’m too chuffed that you stuck up for me… “Remarkably, somehow, his voice is grinning, as he slows us immediately too a stop and moves to stand in front of me, loosening his arm around me just enough to do so, but not letting go so I’m kind of… well, I’m enveloped in him. I can smell his familiar shampoo and aftershave, and feel weirdly, wonderfully small in front of him, who is taller. Which is usually not too noticeably because he isn’t magnificently tall, but he is… 3 to 5 inches taller than me? And because we’re so close, you can tell.

Embarrassingly, I just stand there silently as he grins, and brings our linked hands up to his mouth, to tap a kiss to mine. What? What? WhAT! This is not… this cannot just be friendly, can it? I glance away from his blue-blue eyes, so I can gather my voice back. “Not a big deal.”

“Maybe not, but I like it.”

With nothing else to use my voice for, because I can’t think of anything else to say, I look back up at his, our hands still close to his mouth a grin on his lips. There, I decide to do something. I decide to make or break our friendships, to see what happens, to do something I want to try.

I decide to kiss him.

I tilt my head, and pull down our hands and close my eyes, not allowing for any second thoughts before I get up on my toes and hopefully touch his mouth with mine. I remember wondering what happens if I actually get his chin or his nose, before my lips connect with his and everything goes starry.

Because immediately like he was prepared for it, like that, he kisses back. Pulling me in comfortably with his arm and letting go of my hand so he can cup the side of my neck, his thumb resting on my jaw. I use my new freedom to bunch his coat in my fist, and bring him warmer to me. Not that it could get much warmer for me, with his mouth laying a long, soft kiss to me.

This is definitely the ideal outcome to my decision.  

“Took way too long for you to do that, sweetheart.” Is the first thing he says post-first-kiss, husky and quietly, against my lips as he looks from them to my eyes which is way too attractive a power for a teenage boy to have if you ask me, before kissing me again, this time deeper and with his tongue. All I can do is stand there and try my best to reciprocate the sheer, hot passion that somehow he’s able to convey to me without words, despite this being my first kiss, to the best of my mediocre abilities.

“I… didn’t know you were waiting for it,” I say, when he seems done for more then 2 seconds. A flash of a smile crosses his face, rolling his eyes.

“I wasn’t obvious enough for you??”

“No!”

“I said that I’m glad I get you tonight!”

“That’s code for ‘Kiss me’???”

“Yes!”

“Well, I’ll remember that now!”

He sighs in exasperation while smiling, which is good because I’m grinning too. “Do you wanna just make out some more?”

“Oh, yes, we shall. Good idea.”

[septic-skele]

UT - Swept Away

Summary:  Now that Sans is spending so much time with his new friend, Papyrus fears he is being forgotten.

A/N:  I wanted to try writing something with dialogue only. I think it turned out alright!

“Sans, are you angry with me?”

“Angry? Call me annoyed, exhausted, confused. I don’t even know what to say. Tell me what was goin’ through your head when you decided to put a death trap—”

“Puzzle!”

“—right at the front door? It’s impressive that you managed to get it all set up in the few hours that I was gone, I’ll give you that, but why’d you do it? Huh? Tell me why.”

“It’s to keep us safe! We need to be sure unwanted intruders can’t get to the house! Humans, maybe, or…perhaps even other monsters. You never know if someone you believed to be a potential friend could prove to be something entirely different from your expectations!”

“What’re you talking about?”

“Something you don’t particularly care for or something that maybe someone else thought they needed in their life when they truly didn’t, like ketchup on spaghetti. Something that maybe someone else shouldn’t mix with because they’re not all that good together. Something that someone else thought would be much better than what they already had, when they already had something great and perfect and amazing in the first place that they ought to be more grateful for!”

“…This is about our date nights, isn’t it?”

“She’s trying to steal you away, brother, and it’s working! When she comes to the house, I want to show her my action figures and my puzzle books and she ignores me! She doesn’t want to be my friend; all she cares about is you! That’s not fair, is it? Anyone who cares about you is supposed to care about me too! Then she drags you out the door before I get to say a real goodbye. Do you know how many of my expert goodbye hugs you’ve brushed past since she came to visit? Four! But you always hug her goodbye when she brings you back from eating that yucky, greasy slop at Grillby’s.”

“Wh—Look, I’m sorry about that. If all you want is a hug before I pop out, I can—”

“She walks you back very, very, super late, but I stay up to see. I know her plan. She wants you to have a sleepover at the hotel with her but I check to make sure you don’t because you, as a gentleman, would have to pay for both of you! That’s what you said, wasn’t it? When I suggested we have a sleepover there so we could have a pillow fight and jump on the bed, to see if it jumps any better than ours, you said we couldn’t afford it!”

“Yeah, I know! I think I’m getting the idea, Papyrus. Stop and take a breath—”

“And so once I see that you’re finally home, I run upstairs and hop into bed before you come inside so you don’t know I was at the window. A-And I wait for you to come in and read my bedtime story. But you don’t. You sneak past and go to your own room, like you totally forgot. I’ve tried to read it to myself, but I can’t do the funny voices like you.”

“Pap, I didn’t forget. When I get home, you’ve got your door closed and all the lights turned off! You shutting me out, keeping me in the dark?”

“Stop it, please. This is serious!”

“If I knew you were still up, I would have come in, honest.”

“But sooner or later she might want to walk with you to your room. I don’t think you would want to read my story then, even if you remembered. Am I right?”

“Hey, you’ve got a long time before you need to bother worrying about that.”

“I know you think she is really cool, brother. I’m not sure how, if she doesn’t like action figures and puzzle books. Maybe she’s neat in a way I don’t understand. So am I…am I not the coolest monster in the world anymore?”

“Papyrus…”

“I don’t know what I did to become so uncool that you don’t want to be around me anymore. I can try very hard to improve my hugs! I’ll make them just as good as hers! And if you’re bored of reading my books, I can find a new one in the library!”

“Papyrus, that’s not…”

“I can tell she makes you happy and I’m glad about that! I want you to be happy forever! Your eyelights go really bright and your smile gets big when you see her! It’s nice to see that. I just…I thought I was one of the things that made you happy too, and I don’t know when I stopped doing that. I didn’t mean to.”

“Pap, look at me.”

“I’m sorry. Am I in trouble?”

“Just look at me and listen carefully. You are the best thing in my life—no exceptions. I wouldn’t trade you for anyone or anything. You got that? Family comes first. You’re the best little brother in the whole Underground and definitely the coolest. You make me happy even when I’m not with you.”

“Really?”

“You betcha. Because you’re right. Anyone who cares about me better have a good opinion of you too. If they don’t like you, they’re not pals with me. That’s why I’ve spent so much time on our dates bragging about how great you are.”

“Really?!”

“Yes! You’re the most important monster in the world to me. But if you’re going to be the most important, that means there have to be runner-ups.”

“Like her?”

“I like her in a different way than I like you. There are different ways to care about someone; you’ll understand better when you’re older but the point stands: I’ve got enough happiness to split between the both of you. I’m really sorry if I haven’t been giving you your share lately…I guess I have been letting her sweep me away a little too fast.”

“That’s why I built the puzzle at the door! If it helps, I can bail snow out on top of it so she will need a shovel for you instead of a broom! That ought to slow her progress long enough for you to hug me before you go.”

“Well, why wait until we’re saying goodbye? If I’ve been running up a tab, I better cash one in now while the getting’s good! C’mere.”

“Nyeheheh!”

“Oof! Wow. This is what I’ve been missing out on?”

“You see how superior my hugs are? I-I’ll squeeze you extra tight so you don’t forget!”

“Ghh—heheh, your g-greatness takes my breath away! You really don’t have to worry, bro. I’m not going to forget anytime soon. That’s a promise.”

[poisxnyouth]

neighbors. chapter 1. (d.d)

A/N: There are 3 shows that inspire this: Sex and the City, Gossip Girl, and Mad Men. 3 of my favorite shows ever. I haven’t written anything in a really long time and this is (essentially) my first David fic! Enjoy! If you feel like something isn’t in character or notice any inconsistencies or just plain don’t like it, don’t be afraid to let me know! I appreciate all criticism. <3 Thank you to @alrightinbed-betterwithapen for getting me into writing again!! Endless love to her.

Warnings: Drinking, implied underage drinking, and cursing. Nothing too crazy!

You had lived your entire life in classic Manhattan wealth. You were never groomed with the trivial perfect grades, perfect outfits, and Ivy League expectations that the kids in your school had to deal with. Your parents put you in a private school with uniforms, allowing you to choose what you wanted in life. This nonchalant parenting pushed you to meet the expectations your peers had set. It had, luckily, worked out for you. You maintained a 5.0 GPA throughout high school and did anything you could to meet Ivy League alumni through Manhattan’s elite. You breezed your way through Yale Admissions, just as your parents had, and majored in Psychology in conjunction with a minor in French. Your parents were very proud of you, of course, and you quickly got a job in Los Angeles fresh off the graduation stage. You were an intern at an advertising firm on Madison Avenue in high school, allowing you to gain interest and experience in the copywriting world. With a full book of advertising copy, your knowledge of psychology aided you in producing better work. You were now the youngest creative director in the entirety of Los Angeles at a top-notch advertising firm. You made good money and it came in fast, so fast that you had managed to go from a studio apartment in Downtown LA to putting a down payment on a $2 million-dollar house in the Hills (with some help from your parents). Everything had worked out as you had planned. You had (mostly) worked for everything you got, and you were proud of it.

Your friends had followed a similar path with varying backgrounds. Francine, from a poor family in Brooklyn, had been put in your school so she could have a promising future. She used it to her advantage. Tessa had come from an even richer family than yours, her father a real estate mogul; mother, an immigration lawyer. Sienna moved to Manhattan freshman year of high school, from a middle-class family with ultimately no connections in the Big Apple. It was fine, she quickly adjusted and met many people through you and your friends’ parents. All 4 of you had worked hard throughout the 4 years you had spent together, rotating sleepovers in you and Tessa’s penthouses, Sienna’s apartment, and Francine’s loft. You had, way too often, fallen asleep together with your heads stuffed in AP textbooks. You had all earned an Ivy League admission: You, Yale; Francine, Dartmouth; Tessa, Harvard; and Sienna, Princeton. You stayed in touch all of university, meeting up in the heart of Manhattan every Saturday to go shopping on Fifth Avenue. You made the distance work.  Francine is now a graphic designer; Tessa is an intern at Vogue, hoping to soon be an editor; and Sienna is an archivist at the Met. You didn’t have time to keep up with social situations outside of those 3 women.

++

“We miss you in New York, Y/N! You need to visit! How’s that neighbor of yours coming along?” Your best friends are screaming into the tiny speaker on Francine’s phone. You can practically see the group of girls huddled together on a street in the Upper East Side, arms filled with shopping bags as they listen intently to your voice.  

“I don’t know, guys. He’s cute. Like, really cute. I just wish I knew who he was. He’s so young! Like, our age at the most. What could he possibly do for a living? There’s always something going on at his house. I swear, yesterday I saw at least 30 people over there holding a bunch of balloons and fireworks went off.”

“Maybe he’s one of those Youtuber people?” Tessa suggested.

“Hmm…,” you’re flipping through your mail, phone balanced between your shoulder and ear. “He could be. He always has a camera in his hand. God, he’s hot.”

“Oh my god, Y/N, how are you so smart but so stupid? He’s a Youtuber!” Tessa chimed in once more.

“Is that supposed to be a big deal? Like, do they make a lot of money?”

“Uh, yeah. If they’re really big, they make bank. There are a few in New York. I think Casey Neistat is the biggest one on the East Coast, but most of the Youtubers live in LA. So, if he lives in your neighborhood, he probably is pretty huge.”

“I mean I don’t really care who he is – fuck, you guys!” you groan exasperatedly.

“What happened?” they questioned in unison.

“I got his mail on accident! I have to go over there! Oh my gosh, his name is David.”

“Oooo, Daaaavviiiidd!” they mocked. You separate your mail from his and huff in response.

“Y/N, are you seriously neighbors with David Dobrik?”

“I don’t know who that is, Francine. It only says David Smith on all the labels. I’m not going to worry about it, guys. He’s just eye candy. He’s too annoying as a neighbor.” Francine immediately reprimands you for not knowing who he is.

“Yeah, okay, Y/N. You’re gonna go over there, give him his mail, and go home and write about your wet dream of him. Imagine this on the headlines: Y/N Writes Fanfiction About Famous Youtuber?!” Sienna is laughing into the shared speaker.

“You guys are bitches!” you giggled, “I have to go do this. Pray for me! I love you!” They respond with I love you’s and making kissy noises into the phone.

 ++

 You rang the doorbell nervously and smooth your hair down in the reflection of his glass door, fiddling with the corner of your neighbor’s envelopes in your hands. You can feel the corners going soft from your sweaty fingertips. You hear a throaty voice yell, “NATALIE! DOOR!” If that’s David, he already sounds like a dick. A pretty girl in her pajamas rounds the corner, smiling when she sees you. You’re slightly disappointed. This Natalie must be his girlfriend.

“Hey! What’s up?” she says as she opens the door.

“Um, I’m your neighbor, Y/N! I, um, I think I got your mail? But you don’t really look like a David Smith, so maybe not?”

“Oh, no! That’s us. It’s for my boss, David Dobrik. It’s his cover name.” “Boss?” you question, feeling a little nosy. She doesn’t seem bothered, it seems like she must explain this often. You hear his name and clock it, knowing full well you’ll most likely forget it.

“Yeah,” she admits sheepishly. “David’s my boss – I’m his assistant.”

“Oh! Cool,” you kind of want to keep the conversation going; she’s nice! “There’s always something going on here!” you laugh a little.

“Yeah, but you know David…”

“I actually don’t! What does he do?” She seems surprised.

“He’s a Youtuber! I’ve been his friend since we were little, so it’s really awesome to see him grow like this.”

“Oh, sweet! Is he single?” The question flies out before you can think twice. Your eyes widen a little bit, breaking eye contact.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry. That just came out-“

“It’s fine! Yes, he’s single. You wanna meet him? He’s a little busy right now, but-“

“Oh my gosh, no! I mean, I just see him sometimes and he’s really cute. I was just curious.”

As soon as you say this, the man comes from a side hallway in the house. He walks to the door as Natalie nods understandingly.

“Hey! Who’s this?” He recognizes you as his neighbor, but he doesn’t say it. He just wants to know your name.

“This is Y/N, she’s our neighbor,” Natalie says. His eyes widen a little bit as he’s shaking your hand.

“David. Nice to meet you,” he’s leaning into the door frame now; arms crossed, chapped lips, messy hair, sweatpants, and all. It’s nice to get a closer look at him. He watches your eyes as you scan him up and down, causing him to smirk and look away.

“You wanna come in?” he offers. Your heart almost stops.

“Oh, it’s okay – I don’t want to intrude, and I have to get back to work anyways,” you attempt to rattle off excuses. He cocks his head and looks at you again.

“What do you do?”

“I’m in advertising,” you say, playing with your hands nervously. His eyes catch it.

“How’d you get that gig?”

“Um, I grew up and went to school in Manhattan, got admitted into Yale and graduated with a degree in psychology. I interned with an agency in high school and I really loved it, so I used psychology to help me write better copy,” the words tumble out too quickly and you almost feel stupid to spill so much. You try to push it out of your mind; you worked for what you achieved, you’re allowed to brag. He almost seems impressed.

“You live alone?”

You nod, almost feeling like you’re being interrogated.

“David, just let her go home,” Natalie gives you an apologizing look. She wants to snicker at how flustered you became when he showed up.

“Yeah, yeah, of course. Have a nice day, Y/N. You can come over whenever you want!” He’s almost shutting the door before Natalie stops him.

“Hey, can I get your number? We should hang out sometime.” You say of course and David’s watching as you type your number into her phone.

“Thanks! I’ll see you later, Y/N.” The door closes as you bid them goodbye and you almost want to die from humiliation.  You facepalm as you walk out of their driveway.

++

You can’t stop yourself from speed dialing Francine’s number as soon as you walk through your front door. She picks up on the third ring.

“Hey, girl! How’d it go?”

“Are you still with the girls?”

“Yeah, I’ll put you on speaker,” she replies before you hear all the girls individually say their hello’s.

“You guys…I met him. Oh my god, he’s so hot, I think I’m going to cry. He’s a stunner.”

“What’s his name? Is he who I said he is? David Dobrik?” Francine asks, desperate to be correct.

“Um...His assistant said his name…I think that was it?”

“You’re going to gush about how hot he is, but you don’t even remember his name?” Sienna questions.

“I was too busy freaking out! When he introduced himself, all he said was David!”

“Wait, wait, wait, Y/N! Walk us through what happened,” Tessa says coolly.

I launch myself onto my couch with a big sigh before I begin explaining.

 ++

 “So, Y/N seemed to be into you…” Natalie blurts later that night as David edits. He shrugs.

“David! You need to date somebody! She’s pretty!”

“You know I don’t have time! I don’t even get the vlogs up when I should.”

“Okay, and? All you do since Liza broke up with you is work! You know you deserve better.”

“Natalie, she’s probably not even into me, like, pretty sure she just has anxiety. She was fidgeting the whole time.”

“What do you mean, ‘She’s probably not even into me?’ She asked me if you were single!”  Natalie mocks his voice, going deeper than she needs to. He rolls his eyes in response, wanting the conversation to be finished.

“Just think about it, Dave. She’s smart, she went to Yale for God’s sake! Obviously, she cares about her job, juuuust like you do! I think you should ask her on a date.”

“She has a different dude over like, every night,” he grumbles.

“Oh, so you pay attention? And so what? They could be coworkers. Don’t be stupid, Dave.”

“I’m not asking her out on a date,” he affirms.

“Fine, I’m inviting her over.”  He rolls his eyes again, making it a point to force his eyes to go as far back as possible while telling Natalie to go ahead.

 ++

 “Hey Y/N! It’s Natalie. You wanna come over and have a few drinks?” The text shows up on your phone as you’re about to go to bed. You can’t push yourself to decline the invitation. A few drinks sound nice, anyway. You had learned how to hold your liquor your sophomore year of college, going through a partying phase, spending nearly every possible free night at a frat house.

You get dressed (again) and make your way to David’s house, ringing the doorbell. You see David’s head on the couch as Natalie rises from her spot to come to the door.

“Hey! Come in!” you step in, recognizing it’s a shoe off house. You wordlessly oblige as Natalie makes small talk with you.

“So, how’d you end up in LA from New York?” She leads you to the kitchen, taking out a stout glass of the dark cabinets for the each of you.

“I kept copywriting through college, so as soon as I graduated, I sent my portfolio to as many advertising agencies as I could. The agency I work for now is actually an extension of the New York office I interned for in high school, so I guess someone in New York saw my book in the stack and pulled some strings.” Natalie has now worked her way over to the stocked bar of liquor, responding with multiple mmhmm’s.

“What do you drink?”

“Vodka.” She nods and nearly makes your glass overflow.

“You seem like you need it,” she says pathetically, handing you the cup.

“Oh, believe me, I do,” you admit, ingesting half the glass in one swallow. You wince a little bit at the taste.

Your eyes scan around the room for David, but it seems he must’ve left to go somewhere else in the house.

“So, you think David is cute!” She breaks the silence, knowing what you’re thinking, “I can hook you guys up. He needs somebody.” You blush and tap your fingers on the glass.

“Oh, I mean…Yeah, he’s cute. But I don’t really have time for anyone, I’m working a lot.” She leads you to the sectional couch, pulling a blanket over her lap. You sit a few cushions away from her.

“You sound like him!” It makes you laugh slightly. “I’m serious! That’s exactly what he would say.”

“What’s he doing?”

“He’s editing right now. It usually takes him all night.”

“Honestly, Natalie, I’ve never watched a YouTuber before or anything, so I don’t really know anything about this. Like, how big is he? And what is ‘big’ on YouTube?”

“He has 11 million subscribers, so that’s pretty big. I mean there are bigger people, of course, like Shane Dawson, but he’s good at what he does, and he works hard. He deserves everything he has.”

“Good for him,” you reply, finishing the rest of your drink. She nods her head, agreeing with you. You can’t help considering the similarities it seems like you two share. You’re both hard workers, earning (mostly) everything you have, and you’re both proud of what you do.

“Do you have any friends in LA?” Natalie questions. You shrug your shoulders, getting up to make yourself another drink and feel at home. You quickly pour yourself more vodka and return to your seat.

“Most of my friends I left back in New York. I miss them so much. I told them about David,” you admit in a whisper as she gasps, a smile spreading across her face.

“You did not! Oh my god, I really need to set you guys up now!” She’s laughing, smacking your arm jokingly.

“Shut uuuup!” You giggle, “I couldn’t help it! What would you do if you lived in another city, alone, and all of a sudden you got a cute, young, obviously successful neighbor? Whew! I couldn’t not spill it!” You’re starting to feel more comfortable in the conversation and as you continue chatting with her, the more you like her.

“What are their names?”

“Okay, so. I went to high school with all of them. There’s Francine, she went to Dartmouth and is a graphic designer. There’s Tessa, she went to Harvard and she’s an intern at Vogue. And then there’s Sienna, she went to Princeton and she’s an archivist at The Met.”

“Wow! All Ivy League.”

“We all did it together! I couldn’t have done it without them. I love them. Besides them, though, don’t really have any friends out here! I’ve never really needed more than those 3. I miss them so much.”

“Well, now you have me! I’m getting you a boyfriend, even if it’s the last thing I do,” she laughs.

“Are you and David from LA?”

She laughs into her drink, “God, no! Chicago. David and I were neighbors and went to school together since elementary school.”

“That’s so cute!”

“You haven’t known David Dobrik for almost 15 years! I swear, it’s like taking care of a baby,” she rolls her eyes.

“I HEARD THAT!” You hear a voice yell from a bedroom as you make a nervous face. What else had he heard?

“Fuck you, David!” He doesn’t respond as Natalie resumes your conversation.

“My friend, Francine, kept insisting that he was David Dobrik,” you whispered, “I don’t know how the hell she knew that. I swear, she has ESP or something. She’s just as busy as me, so it’s beyond me how she has time to watch YouTubers.”

“I mean, Y/N, he is pretty big. Like, are you sure you don’t just live under a rock?” You gasp mockingly.

“Yeah, probably. I’m a workaholic.”

“So, are you strictly a copywriter?” You shake your head no as you gulp down some of your drink.

“No, I’m a creative director. Basically, that means I give the creative presentations to the heads of businesses we represent. I also oversee all of the regular copywriters at the firm and approve everything.”

“Wait, who do you represent?”

“Um, I mean…Apple, Clearasil, Jaguar, Tesla, Maybelline, a few department stores, it really depends.”

“So, you’re the reason why David owns a Tesla?” You laugh at that.

“I mean, I could be. I don’t know. I’m just starting in the industry.”

“Holy shit. That’s so crazy!” You shrug your shoulders.

“It’s alright. I love what I do.”

“How does all of that work?”

“What? Like, the whole advertising thing?” She nods.

“So, basically,” you clear your throat, “if a firm drops an account, which is a company slash brand, or the account decides to leave a firm, then account men or women are trying their best to get a presentation for the company. Agencies are always trying to get bigger than others. The job of the account man is to have good relations with the account’s leaders, meaning they just go out on dinners or for drinks with them. They keep up appearances. It sounds easy, but I’ve seen account men cry when it doesn’t go well. While this is happening, copywriters are practically scrambling to come up with something to present. It’s chaos, but it’s so good. It’s the best feeling in the world, especially when you do win the account.”

“Don’t you get tired?”

“I mean, the hours can get pretty long, but it’s fine. I get paid well. I also get pretty much unlimited vacation and sick days, no one thinks twice about it as long as I’m not gone for weeks at a time. It’s great.”

“You’re so fucking lucky!”

You wave her off, “I don’t think so. I worked for it.” She nods again as David emerges from a bedroom.

“Hey,” he says, walking to the kitchen to grab a water bottle. Natalie looks at you, waggling her eyebrows with a giant smile on her face. You snicker a little bit and David notices.

“What’s up with the giggling? You guys talking about me?”

“No, David. Not everything is about you,” Natalie says as he throws his hands up in defense.

“I’m just saying, you guys went quiet as soon as I walked in.”

“Maybe it’s because you interrupted us,” you say, meeting his eyes. He stares blankly at you.

“I can go,” He says, smiling his stupid smile.

“We’re fucking with you, Dave. Sit down,” Natalie rolls her eyes.

“What are you guys talking about?” He plops himself down on the couch pretty far away from you and Natalie.

“Y/N’s job. She’s in advertising,” Natalie seems to be bragging for you.

“Uh, yeah, I know, Nat. She said that earlier.”

“Ugh, still, Dave! I’m impressed.” David doesn’t know what to say, he doesn’t know enough about you.

“So, you went to Yale?” he asks. You nod. It’s quiet for a few moments.

“Y/N, we should go to New York!” Your eyes widen at Natalie’s suggestion. You had only met this girl a few hours ago, and she’s suggesting going to New York with you? You’re surprisingly open to it, not allowing yourself to say no.

“I mean, do you want to? ‘Cause I can call in tomorrow morning and we can totally spend the weekend there! You can meet the girls!”

“Uh, Natalie, you forget I’m your boss-“

“I’m also your fucking friend! Just come with!” Natalie says exasperatedly.

“Okay,” David throws his hands in the air, “Fine. Get us some flights, Natalie.”

“I don’t have my debit card on me-“

“It’s fine, Y/N, I’ve got it,” David insists.

“What? No! I can afford it!”

“I didn’t ask if you could afford it! I’m paying,” he persists. It’s kind of hot. You reluctantly mutter an okay as Natalie grabs her computer.

You ended up going home, hurriedly packing a suitcase before returning to David’s 30 minutes later. While at home, you group Facetimed all of the girls.

“Girls, I’m coming to NYC! One small catch, though…David’s coming with.”

[missytearex]

This has definitely been one of my favourite reading weeks so far! There’s a few things on here that everyone has to read! Like the girl direction drabble @lululawrence wrote for me!! It’s so amazing and it made me very happy, so go read that one first!

Also, just fyi, I’ve made a new blog! I’m using it for hp fic recs and I wanted to keep that separate from this, ‘cause I know everyone here’s not into that. But if you are, go check it out!! Here it is: @dracolia

❤️ One Touch Is Never Enough by @fullonlarrie — [fic post]

larry | 3k | explicit — (au, werewolves, humour)

It’s been a rough year for Louis. First, he was turned into a werewolf, which hasn’t been so bad, except that he didn’t anticipate how it would affect his love life. Maybe it’d be easier to ignore if he wasn’t constantly bombarded by the sound of his two werewolf best friends getting it on in the next room.

At least they were nice enough to give him a gift certificate for a massage.

🧡 Play the Odds by @alivingfire — [fic post]

larry | 25k | mature — (au, college/uni, friends to lovers, fluff)

Harry and Louis are best friends since childhood who, after a night of drinking, find themselves locked in a bet: first one to kiss the other a thousand times wins. Wins what? They don’t know. Glory, Harry supposes. Bragging rights, though those don’t do much in this economy. All Harry knows is that this is one bet he can finally win. What he doesn’t expect, though, is what happens when he starts kissing his best friend on a daily basis.

Namely, he doesn’t expect falling head over heels in love with his best friend.

Now all he has to do is make sure the bet never ends, so he never has to stop kissing Louis.

🧡 Who Tells Your Story by @lululawrence — [fic post]

larry | 33k | mature — (au, famous/non-famous, fluff)

the one where Harry is a rock star, Louis is just another midwestern kid who put his dreams aside for his family, and a wig for Fizzy changes everything.

💙 Drabbles for Harry’s Birthday Drive 2019 by @lululawrence — [fic post]

[Only listing the ones I’ve read this week, but I do recommend all of them!]

Who Tells Your Story Timestamp

larry | 1k | not rated — (au, drabble, famous/non-famous)

Melt Into Me

larry | 1k | not rated — (drabble, domestic, fluff, established relationship)

Gently, Softly, Deeply

larry | 1k | not rated — (au, drabble, girl direction)

Leave the Dog(s) At Home

ziam | 1k | not rated — (au, drabble, first date, fluff)

Safety Nest

larry | 1k | not rated — (au, drabble, hybrid!louis, homeless!louis, hurt/comfort)

Good Morning, Sunshine

larry | 1k | not rated — (fluff, drabble, domestic, established relationship)

I Laugh at the Clouds

larry | 1k | not rated --- (au, drabble, first date, humour)

Flowers in the Window

larry | 1k | not rated --- (au, drabble, grief/mourning, fluff)

💚 The Sleepover by @homosociallyyours — [fic post]

larry | 1k | general audiences — (girl direction, fluff, friends to lovers)

It’s Harry’s 21st birthday and she’s decided to have a proper sleepover, just like her pre-teen years. If it takes a slightly more grown up turn, she can’t say she’d really mind.

💙 The Way You Move (Ain’t Fair, You Know) by @indiaalphawhiskey — [fic post]

larry | 2k | not rated — (au, drabble)

the Drop The Mic drabble no one asked for.

💛 Ain’t That A Kick In The Head! by @lesbianharrie, @humhalleloujah — [fic post]

larry | 22k | teen and up — (au, football, famous/non-famous, humour, crack)

In which Harry’s a disaster gay who doesn’t know shit about soccer, Liam drinks too many blue raspberry Coolattas, Niall knows everyone, Zayn looks dead, and Louis is Not Happy about sharing his breakout moment with “Drunk Hawaiian Guy.”

💛 Tumblr Drabbles by @runaway-train-works

larry | 3k | teen and up — (drabbles)

Bodyguard AU & Bathtub Fic

Circus AU & Chocolate of Romance

Anger Born Of Worry & Airport/Travel Au

Massage Fic & Aroused By Her (His) Voice

Kink & Blind Date

🧡 (wip) The Blood of Words by @mediawhorefics — [fic post]

larry | 33k so far | mature — (au, ptsd, boxer!harry, angst)

Louis Tomlinson hasn’t sworn off relationships per se. He just doesn’t think he’s quite ready for one yet, despite his therapist’s encouragements. He’s comfortable in his position as editor for Styles Publishing and he’s happy to focus on his career while he gives himself more time to heal.

Enter his CEO’s brother, a boxer with a heart of gold who is determined to carve himself a space in Louis’ life and, more importantly, his heart.

💙 Charisma by @lululawrence — [fic post]

larry | 5k | not rated — (au, crack, humour, fluff)

the one where Harry feeds on awesomeness (possibly literally). Louis is awesome and also angry. They’re probably going to fall in love

❤️ I Didn’t Fall For You (You Fucking Tripped Me) by @allwaswell16 — [fic post]

larry | 20k | explicit — (au, a/b/o, college/uni, humour, enemies to friends to lovers)

These days Louis tends to steer clear of dating alphas. He’s dated too many knotheads in his time, and he’s ready to just focus on school and his friends and his pet monitor lizard, of course.

Too bad the alpha next door won’t take a hint and stop using the worst pick up lines of all time on him. He’s really got to stop laughing with him–and talking to him and walking to class with him and letting him bring him coffee and tea and gifts for his lizard and watching Netflix together and…

💛 Absolute Beginners by @taggiecb

larry | 5k | teen and up — (au, humour, coming out, fluff)

Louis would like to think that Niall can’t surprise him anymore. He never knows what his friend will come up with sometimes. But when he calls Louis in the middle of the night and asks him to come and hit on his friend, Louis can’t help but let curiosity get the best of him.

💚 Theory of Evolution by @louandhazaf — [fic post]

larry | 4k | general audiences — (au, fluff, humour)

Louis has never backed down from a dare and isn’t about to start now.

If you enjoyed any of these stories, remember to leave kudos/comments to show your appreciation!

[playerfolie]

°✧。 [ MARGARET  QUALLEY ,  CIS  WOMAN ,  SHE/HER ]   it’s  been  two  years  since  FOLIE  joined  velia  from  NEW  ORLEANS ,  LOUISIANA ,  USA .  apparently  their  name  is  MAEVE  FOURNIER  and  they’re  a  ROGUE .  they  have  been  fighting  as  a  REVENANTS  member  for  a  while  now .  didn’t  people  say  they  were  not  a  beta  tester ?  i  heard  they  turned  TWENTY - ONE  this  year .  let’s  hope  they  make  it  out  alive . 

          hey  there  demons !  it’s  me ,  ya  boy  ( aka  spence  /  20  /  they/them ) .  i  was  in  velia  very  briefly  a  little  while  back  but  had  to  dip  because  of  school  ( + i  am  recycling  this  account  so  that’s  why  there  may  be  old  messages  from  me  in  ur  dms  asfvad ) ,  but  i  have  now  finished  finals  and  i  am  back  to  introduce  you  to  my  new  baby  maeve / folie !  if  you’d  like  to  plot  with  her ,  feel  free  to  drop  a  ♡  on  this  and  i’ll  shoot  you  a  message  ( or  shoot  me  one  yourself  if  you  wanna ) !  this  is  probably  gonna  be  the  longest  intro  ever  because  i  ramble ,  so  sorry  in  advance ,  but  here  we  go !

𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐒

            ♡     username : folie             ♡     level : 64             ♡     class : rogue             ♡     cursor : green  ( has  been  orange  in  the  past )             ♡     guild : revenants ,  previously  knights  of  the  blood  oath.             ♡     position : recruiter             ♡     mount : n/a             ♡     pet : rabbit  named  cecil             ♡     mastered  skills : stealth ,  communication ,  searching             ♡     proficient  skills : luck ,  appraisal             ♡     languages spoken : english ,  french

𝐁𝐄𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐄  𝐕𝐄𝐋𝐈𝐀

            ♡     maeve fournier was born with a silver spoon in her mouth and ballet slippers on her feet. her mother was a lawyer, one of the best defense attorneys in the south. her father came from old money, took complete ownership of a number of oil rigs off the louisiana and mississippi coasts after her grandfather died. her early life came with privileges, more than one could count, but it had its share of burdens as well. from the time she was toddling, maeve was expected to live her life like a painting ─ something to be viewed, showed off, bragged about by her parents to their wealthy friends. she was to have her mother’s smarts and grace, and her father’s power and charisma ; anything else was failure.             ♡     of the many things maeve had handed to her, video games was not one of them. her mother was convinced that they would ‘ rot her brain ’, take her time away from the things that mattered like school, dance, french lessons, her violin. the first time she played a game was when she was seven years old, sleeping over at a friends house ─ pokemon white on an old nintendo ds that belonged to her friend’s father. she fell in love.              ♡     as she got older, video games became her best kept secret. weekly sleepovers at her friend’s house became a sneaky rendezvous to escape into a digital world for just a couple of days. one day a week to get away from the constant pressure, to be a person rather than a spectacle.             ♡     when her and her best friend heard of velia, they knew they absolutely had to have it. the pair were freshman in college by then, and although maeve still lived very much under her parents’ thumb ( loyola university new orleans was close enough for them to keep close tabs on her ), it was much easier to get video games in her own hands now that she was living slightly more independently. the two bought the game the second they could, and were off to the races. until they got stuck.

𝐈𝐍  𝐕𝐄𝐋𝐈𝐀

          ♡     when everyone first became trapped in the game, maeve and her best friend kept close to one another, but were hesitant to partner up with any other players or join a guild. the two had each others backs, and they were convinced that that was all they needed. that sentiment would later prove to be false. ( TW : ROBBERY, MUGGING, DEATH ). the pair were ambushed a few months into the game ; a party of five players threatening their lives if they failed to hand over their possessions. maeve, aware that the group was too big to be fought off by her and her friend alone, began to concede. instead of following suit, the other girl tried to take one of them on, and ended up catching quite the beating. maeve managed to get in a few good hits, finish the work that her friend had started on one of the group members, killing him. they dropped all they had for the remaining four and high-tailed it out before they got themselves killed.           ♡     after that, maeve went near crazy. it was ironic, how much freedom she found in a digital prison, but living in velia was the first and closest thing to liberation that she had ever experienced. chaos was unfamiliar to her, fascinating, she even relished in it at times. but it also became to clear to her that in this world, you had to do what it took to survive, and doe eyes don’t last long. she never went out of her way to hurt other players if she didn’t have to, but strayed away from heroics. slowly, the reserved, polite, sweetheart that maeve was trained to be from birth slipped away. folie was unapologetic and fierce, and she’d steel you blind if you looked away for more than a second. two things mattered to her: surviving until the end of this, and her best friend. little did she know that she’d lose the latter.           ♡     after getting robbed, and a couple of other close calls with less than savory players, folie admitted to her friend that she thought they should try to join a guild. there was safety in numbers and, with the right group, a significantly less amount of fear with going to sleep every night. her friend disagreed, thought that a group would only make you weak, that trusting other players was a huge mistake. the whole ordeal ended in an enormous fight, but no real answers. for the most part, folie got by through thievery, stealing everything she needed for herself and selling the excess. a week or so after her fight with her friend, folie was caught stealing from a couple of blood oath members, marking the beginning of a friendship that would later lead to her joining the guild. her friend stopped speaking to her after that.            ♡     she was never a fan of blood oath’s heroics, but they were the biggest guild, the most powerful - her ticket home. so that day, when hercules stepped forward, announced the genesis of a new guild, rising from the ashes of the cardinals, it sounded awfully tempting. though folie had found a place in blood oath, gotten comfortable, she couldn’t help but feel disarmed by that same fact. she wasn’t supposed to be getting comfortable ; she was supposed to be beating this game. the revenants new found mission statement of getting out no matter the cost drew her in and captured her. it didn’t take much thought for her to step forward, abandoning her old guild for the revenants.

𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘

            ♡     despite the fact that folie lost a lot of the qualities programed into her when she was younger, she’s not unnecessarily mean. that being said, if you’re expecting the saccharine-voiced angel from before you’re looking in the wrong place ( but she’ll sure as hell put on a good show if it’ll get her something she wants ).             ♡     a little snarky, usually jokingly so, but if you make her mad she will turn into frozone’s wife from the incredibles and you will never see the end of it.             ♡     not quick to trust. if you’ve earned it though, you’re likely to see some of the old maeve slip through the cracks. those who have had the privilege may have been on the receiving end of some misplaced altruism, maybe caught a shy smile or a soft moment, call backs to who she used to be and who she likely never completely be again. but she doesn’t talk about her life back home much either, aside from the arbitrary, another way of keeping that old version of herself, the one that couldn’t survive this, locked away.             ♡     *mushu voice* a flirt ! she’ll flirt with your whole family ! she’ll flirt with you ! she’ll flirt with your cow ! i wish i could stop her but i can’t ! she’s never experienced this kind of freedom before, who could blame her for being a heaux ?             ♡     still has sticky fingers, watch your shit around her if you want to keep it !              ♡     probably other things i’m forgetting but i am currently brain dead.

𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐃  𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒

            ♡     other revenants members      ›      i mean duh,, gotta have those guild connections ! pals ? playful rivalry ? maybe even a little bit of mutual dislike ? gimme it all !             ♡     her old best friend      ›      probably gonna put a wc on the main for this but PLEASE bring me her ex friend who stopped speaking to her when she joined the knights of the blood oath. i will SCREAM !!             ♡     old folks from blood oath      ›      people who she’s still friends with ? people she never got along with ? people angry that she left for the revenants ( esp if they were close before bc i love pain ) ? maybe even an ex ? *sharpay evans voice* i want it all !             ♡     flirtationships & fwb      ›      like i said, she will flirt with a brick wall and she is living her best life as a heaux in velia asdadfvdf. let her be spici !!! ( lil notes : she’s bi + i’m chill w nsfw headcanons but i’m not super comfy writing smut in threads )             ♡     frenemies / enemies      ›      let ! her ! be ! bitter ! that’s really it we can plot out why together i just love some good old fashioned hostility ( bonus points if there’s some underlying ~tension~ *eyebrow wiggle* )             ♡     an unlikely friendship      ›      maybe someone who is more reserved who she can bring out a little chaos in or who can balance out the chaos in her ? maybe someone who has done something that she should hate them for, but instead they grew close ? a fun dynamic with characters who no one would ever guess would be as good of friends as they are             ♡     anything else !!      ›      if you have other ideas for fun connections please shoot them my way !! or we can brainstorm if ya want !!

[mind-writing0]

Chapter 42

One of the little things Virgil missed about Lance was that he would snatch Virgil's letters and read them, acting like they were the most exciting "tea" he'd ever seen. Virgil was in the Men's Room when he received a card, and for a moment he turned to the other side of the loveseat, and he remembered Lance wasn't there. His mind was in shambles.

Meet me outside. I have something to show you.

Virgil smiled faintly at the note, then went outside of the room to see Roman waiting with hands folded together.

"Come on," he whispered, "we don't have much time." He took Virgil's hand in his and walked quickly towards the second floor. He turned the hall and went up to the third floor, past several guards. There was a room that had a padlock, and Roman teasingly covered Virgil's eyes before putting in the code.

Virgil gasped when he saw the inside of the room. It was huge, with a king sized bed and a roaring fireplace. It looked almost too good for comfort, and as Virgil turned towards the right, he could see a bathroom the size of those heated rooms the Twos and Threes use. His favorite aspect of the room was that it was adorned with several musical theater posters and a painting in a familiar style—

"Oh my god," Virgil breathed.

"What is it, dearest?" Roman smirked, coming in from the doorway. "See something you like?"

"You kept the painting. I didn't realize..." Virgil pointed at the painting, one of very few.

"Of course. Your sister is very talented, but that's not what I wanted to show you. Come here." Roman moved towards a small door in the corner of the room. Virgil noticed another door, though he didn't ask what it lead to. Roman opened the small door carefully and peered into a dark tunnel. "I think we're ready, Link." He called into it.

"It's about time," a familiar voice replied cockily, though broken ever so slightly. "I thought you'd never show."

Virgil's heart nearly stopped.

Out of the tunnel stepped Lance, grinning, though it barely reached his eyes. "Virgil!" He hugged his friend and wouldn't let go for a minute, but Virgil didn't mind. Lance turned to Roman and whispered a thank you as he held Virgil close.

"I thought you were dead!" Virgil cried when they let go. He took one of Lance's hands gently, examining the scars. They looked completely mauled, and Virgil wanted to cry at the sight of it.

"Well, what can I say? Prince Roman is a saint," Lance replied, as if he were bragging about his best friend. The prince looked a little pained at these words, as his smile was starting to look more like a grimace, but he saved face.

"How's your hands?" Virgil asked carefully, tracing the swollen lines that looked healed, though they could be in unspeakable condition for the rest of his life. 

Lance held up his hands. "They're fine. I mean, I can't really feel them much, but that's okay. Much better than being dead."

Virgil turned to Roman, "How did you save— wait, what about Officer Kogane?"

Lance smiled a little at the mere mention of his name. "Keith's fine, he's even been walking a bit. We, um...we got married..." he held up his ring finger, where a straw woven ring rested. "I know the ring isn't much, but Keith's only really able to get straw from the horse's stable. That's where he works now, and I work in the kitchen. I'm so glad I'm able to cook again. It's honestly a miracle that Prince Roman  got us that, and a room to stay."

"Please, Lance..." Roman looked really pained at this point, guilty and embarrassed beyond measure.

"I'm being serious, Your Highness. Me and my husband would be dead in the street if not for you.  We owe you our lives." Lance said, in a type of seriousness that Virgil had never heard from him.

"You owe me nothing, it was the least I could do. I'm sorry it wasn't more." Prince Roman replied.

"It was the most you could do, and you have nothing to be sorry for." Lance said as if they'd gone over this before.

"I'm so glad that you're okay, and you're happy." Virgil's eyes watered, "I wish I could've come to the wedding. When's the next time I can see you?"

Lance shrugged, looking on the brink of tears as well. "I don't know. The fact that I'm here is a secret, so it's not like we can have a welcoming party or anything. I do hear all the tea from Roman though," he laughed weakly, "apparently you gained the French alliance? That's crazy, Virgil, I'm so happy for you. I hope you don't mind me saying, Your Highness, but he talks a lot about you, Virgil. I think that he likes you a lot." Lance smiled as if they were all teens at a sleepover.

"You're right about that," Roman took Virgil's hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. "But I think there's someone coming down the hall. We have to go. Goodbye, Sir Lance."

"Goodbye, Your Highness. Thank you so much. Virgil, if you need anything, ask for chef Link." Lance winked and shot finger guns, then slipped back through the tunnel and into the darkness. 

Virgil wrapped his arms around Roman, never wanting to let him go. "Thank you," he breathed. Then he thought something, three little words, though he couldn't say them out loud. He'd keep them in his mind for now.

"Of course, dearest. Let's get back now, wipe your eyes..."

Next (Coming Soon)

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@its-the-cat-queen@notalwaysthevillian@the-doctor-demigod-wizard @avocados26@2-many-fandoms-to-chose-from@randomsandersides @misera-libera @kawaii-harmony@seeyoube@dabby-the-disappointment@kaioanxiety@toxicity-levels-critical@sandersfandersblog@tryingtoohard-noclue@amazable01 @hazelswann@ray-iplier@thats-so-crash@thatsthat24 @shootingace@marshmallow-the-panda@sortablue@random-artsy-space-dude@galaxy-lilies-main @magicaldestinayspaceunicorn@theunoriginaldaisy@lydixa-petal@sombraplayslazertag@ray-is-bored@pumpkinminette@ray-is-bored @shesawkward @your-anxious-nightmare @positive-pancake

@picture-cookie-hoomen

[sea-dragon-pride]

☕☕☕☕☕ (KIDDING, 🌟🌼🌗❓!)

 ☕☕☕☕☕ WELL IF YOU MUST KNOW,,, my deepest darkest secret… my BIGGEST shame… is that I can’t get Calico’s cats to like me. I KNOW! I’m a fake druid, but I try talkin to them and I chase them around and they’re not havin’ ANY of it. The cats on this boat are anti-Tiller ghskgh;skgsgds

(ALSO THIS GOT LOOOONNNGGGGG, so I’m putting it under the cut, I’m So Sorry For Getting Carried Away)

🌟When your OC loses all hope, who do they turn to first? What helps make them feel better? What calms them down and reassures them? Why?

I think when all hope is lost, I would always turn to Roy! I know I should probably say something like my real dads but I haven’t seen them in so long and I never want to worry them with things they don’t need to know about…. Roy always knew how to keep up a brave face, and somehow had a plan for everything, even when failure seemed inevitable. All the Sea Dragons for that matter, made me feel that way! I could never stay in a sour mood after an evening meal with Bingo or Codec, or hell, even Skiff! They’re practically my family and I know they accepted all parts of me into their ranks, so I can’t help but feel better if we’re all together. Though nowadays, that’s not an option, so… to calm down I usually like to hang out in the crow’s nest and chart stars. You can see the sky and the ocean for MILES, when everything is so grand and beautiful, things can’t seem so bad. Something about being up there reminds me that life is always moving, like the ocean! So if things are bad now… then they can’t stay that way forever, because that time will have to move somewhere else, somewhere in the past. On a simpler level, I really appreciate hugs and snacks. I’m the perfect form for cuddling! It’s not bragging, it’s a fact!!! So if I’m ever sad, just squeeze the life out of me and I’ll feel better. 

🌼 Write a short drabble from your OCs POV meeting their LI 

I see the red sails being raised at the end of the dock. Black skulls with a sun burst pattern decorates a number of them. The whole ship is made from stained black wood with red trim. The wood even smells burned.

Jeez, these guys are the ostentatious types, huh? 

Everyone looks like they’re bustling about, doing the prep work for an extended time out at sea. They’ll be expecting me anytime now, but when have pirates been punctual?

Okay, okay, new boat, new story, don’t sweat the small stuff. No one can ask you too many questions if you just keep up your overly-friendly small talk. These guys are supposed to be more dangerous than the last crews, which means a bigger haul. Roy’s counting on you.

I look around the main deck and spot an older woman with an intricate braid and a wide-brimmed hat. That’s gotta be her. I run up and say:

“OH! Ahoy there!!! I’ve never been on a ship this big before wOOWW! Love the color scheming, it really brings out the whole ‘murder-y’ vibes you guys seem to be going for haha! You must be Captain Rhea!”

The older woman looks perplexed (like they usually do), and responds: “That would be me, aye. Though I don’t remember ordering for an interior decorator aboard my vessel.”

“Hehehe no! But you DID send for a navigator and that’s me! Tiller Jakobie, at your service! I’ll tell ya where ya are, where ya goin, where ya wanna be, and how to get there! I also brought my own maps!” I lift them out of my bag proudly. These babies took ages to chart, but no one appreciates map craftsmanship nowadays.

Rhea sighs: “Ah, I did put Beremy in charge of recruiting didn’t I? Remind me not to do that again…. But yes, unfortunately, our last navigator has seemed to desert us for his own misadventures. If you’re the best we can do for such a short time, then so be it. Boys, get her set up in a room, I have business to attend too.”

Yeah… the misadventures of their old navigator mostly involve spending the next few weeks in the brig of The Quick Silver. If Franz is on guard duty, the poor guy will have to listen to him while he practices new songs. Hehehe that’ll make him WISH we threw him overboard!

I turn to my new alleged crew members: “SO! Miss Captain said something about accommodations? Do you guys have room service?? OH! What about those complimentary little soaps??!! Where am I stayin!! You’ve got a five star suite for me, right?”

Most of the reactions are as expected; a couple a furrowed brows, eye rolls, a few smirks and chuckles. I’ll have em head over heels for me soon enough, I mean, come ON! I’m adorable!!! They look around at each other, and one pipes up:

“Well I know someone who don’t have a bunk mate right now…”

The group kind of snickers and mumbles to each other. I hear some whispers - “That’s a lil mean for her first day, ain’t it?” “With HER, are you serious?” “Well, I ain’t gonna be the next one with a fresh scar for waking her up by accident!” They talk back and forth some more and come to an agreement of some kind? “Alright, we got a room for you, follow us!”

I trail behind them, trying to note down the layout of this ship. It IS bigger than The Quick Silver, more in width than in length. The mizzenmast is fortified and I can see spots for snipers to sit up by the topsails. That’ll be a problem to deal with later… We continue below deck and I’m practically pushed towards a room at the end of the hall. My welcome party already starts backing up toward the hold and they shout: 

“Alright, get cozy in there!” More repressed laughing. “Dinner’s served around dusk, see you then!”

Okayyyyy… whatever these guys think they got against me, I’m sure it can’t be that bad. What’s a little hazing between new crew members, right? I’ve faced worse.

“Uh hello?” I knock and open the door.

Oh Fuck. It is that bad.

In the room, there’s a girl, sitting on the lower bunk, sharpening a pair of swords. She doesn’t even flinch when I enter. Her hair is covering a lot of her face, since she’s looking down. It’s so long… Golden hoops dance under her ears. She has bandages around her hands and scars up her arms. Who IS she???

“Are you lost?”

I jolt back. SHIT, I’ve been staring!!! “Wh- huh?”

The girl looks up at me and her hair falls back. Oh NO, she’s PRETTY,,,,!!!!! My face feels hot, WAIT, is this room hot? DON’T tell me you’re blushing right now, Jakobie,,,

She asks again: “Are you lost? This is my room. What are you doing in here?”

Your mission. Remember your mission, dumbass.

“AHAHA OH RIGHT! N-NO WAY! In fact, it’s my job to be Not Lost! I’m Tiller, the new navigator aboard the ship, it’s SUPER nice to me you!!!”

She puts away her whetstone but doesn’t say anything.

I close the door, as I default to rambling over silence. “Well... ANYWAY, your friends said you needed a roomie so here I am! They seem like a fun bunch huh? They mentioned something about you stabbing someone, not that that’s important to me haha! D-Don’t answer that! Those are cool swords you have there!! Where’d you get them? Can you fight with them at the same time!!?? That’s CRAZY! But in a good way! Not that you’re crazy!! Also, I didn’t seem to get your name??” I take a seat on the chest across from her.

She starts to polish her swords. “I didn’t give it.”

Ohhhh one of THOSE types.

She glances up briefly and squints at me. “Why are you wearing a sleeve on only one arm?”

To hide my tattoo.

“OH haha! THIS??? It’s uhhh… to cover a… birthmark! It’s- It’s really gross and ugly and I, uh- hate it so I don’t like looking at it.”

She furrows her brow and kind of scoots further away on her bed after hearing that.

Smooth.

I start putting my stuff away. “Sooooo, I heard someone on the boat is named Beremy?? What’s up with that? That doesn’t sound like a real name.”

“Tiller doesn’t sound like a real name.” She mumbles.

“OHHHH SO SHE HAS JOKES!!! Miss Mystery over here has jests and japes for the the new girl, okay, I’ll take that one. I’m glad comedy is allowed in this room.”

She seems to eye me more closely now as I empty my backpack. She responds: “Just don’t touch my things and you won’t be sleeping in the galley with your namesake.”

“The other crew members seem to be kind of scared of you. Should I be worried, or are you all bark and no bite?”

I feel a whoosh of cool air whip past my ear. One of her swords is suddenly embedded in the wall behind me, inches from the side of my head. 

Whoa…. she’s Perfect.

She sounds a little irritated when she says, “I like for people to make their own judgements about me and not listen to rumors from people they’ve just met.”

My heart is racing. (Probably from the sword, right??) I yank it out of the wall. “That… was SO COOL!!! I didn’t even see you throw it. You’ve gotta teach me that!!!””

She looks a little taken aback.

I continue, “Also have you ever thought about pulling your hair out of your face with something??? Then maybe you can aim better!! Plus… I think your eyes are really pretty...”

“I-” 

Suddenly, there’s a bell ringing down the hall.

The girl looks away to the side. Was her face always that pink? She stands up and makes for the door. “That’s the dinner bell. You can… come with me if you want. It’d be weird to just stay in here.”

I hop up. “Alright Miss Mystery, if you INSIST!”

“It’s Mayday.”

“What?”

“Mayday. That’s my name. If I am stuck with you, then you at least ought to know what to call me.”

Mayday.

Aw man… how am I gonna figure out this one…?

🌗 Early mornings or late nights? What do they spend their time doing during these hours?

Early mornings all the way! As much as I LOVE sleepovers and gossiping over pillow talk, there’s something AMAZING about seeing the sunrise and getting to run around before the rest of the crew has woken up! Usually, I like to sneak food from Mr. Biscuit while he’s still making breakfast and I try to hide stickers in Selim’s armory. I chat with all the animals around the boat too! You know, catch up with the seagulls and dolphins following along side. I usually find a rat or two, and they always have the best jokes!!! Miss Shih says I should get rid of any rats I find, but what she doesn’t know, won’t hurt my loyal subjects. And then my favorite, I GET TO WAKE EVERYONE UP!!! Miss Shih’s always awake, so she’s the exception! You really bond and get to know a person once you’ve seen them at their most annoyed and delirious state, A HA I LOVE IT!!!

❓ A random fact or short drabble! Or make up your own question to ask the OC!

My question of choice: If you had a personalized Captain Hat, what power would it grant you?

THAT’S A REALLY HARD ONE!!! Part of me almost wants to inherit Roy’s hat because his power is really cool and he’s never let me USE IT!!!! >:///

But part of me also feels like it would be fun to just enhance the druid powers I already have! Like basically just become a water-bender and control the weather when you’re out at sea!! OH! Or maybe it could be a shape-shifting animal hat!!! (But how would that work in animal form?? Would they all get little hats?? That’s not intimidating!!!) Maybe it could be navigator related, and I would always know where I am and never be lost! OR MAYBE! It could track the thing you desire most!!! That seems kind of heavy for me though haha! Regardless, I can’t make up my mind! I want them all! The solution is that all captain’s should give me their hats and that’ll be the end of it!!! It’s only fair, and I deserve it of course!!!

[trekwiz]

Love, Simon - Consolidated Reflections

Love, Simon is an incredible film that I had no idea I still needed. My boyfriend and I went in expecting cheesy humor and Nick Robinson eye candy, but six theater trips later and we're certain it's the most important movie of our lives.

Even though I'm a very different person from Simon's character, I never felt more represented on the screen before. I have my own stories for nearly every scene in the film, and it's made me reflect deeply about what it was like to grow up as a gay 90's kid in New Jersey, and as a student of Johns Hopkins' CTY "Smart Camp".

I’d like you to take a moment and put yourself in a specific frame: think of how you feel when your media doesn’t represent you. You don’t see people like you on mainstream TV, you don’t see people like you in mainstream movies, you don’t see people like you in mainstream advertising, you don't see people like you on the news, except in murder stories. You're invisible in pop culture.

Now imagine that it wasn’t JUST your media.

Imagine that it was your whole world: you don’t see anyone who looks like you anywhere. Not your family. Not your neighborhood. Not your school. Not your media. You are completely erased.

Growing up in that environment was really difficult, in a way that non-gays really don’t have a frame to understand. It stole a lot of my life from me.

It was somewhere around 2nd grade that I realized the world was hostile towards normal people for no good reason: irrational hostility was present in everything at all times.

Some of it was tangible. Hearing “that’s so gay,” or “fag” as an insult, or hearing classmates brag about beating up a gay kid made it clear that the world really was out to get me. While other stuff was more abstract, like the complete absence of people like me on the screen. Or worse, the token representations of people like me that were poorly written, the butt of jokes, or just irrelevant props.

There are more gay characters today, but often it’s still superficial and sometimes worse, with companies like Bioware using disrespectful and offensive caricatures as a money making strategy.

As a kid, I closed myself off. I became a “turtle”--I hid both from my toxic, abusive family and the anti-gay world around me, behind the locked door of my bedroom. After school I had Star Trek, Legos, and videogames, alone. I stepped away from my friendships in 2nd grade--I didn’t stop talking with classmates, I just didn’t let them get close. I didn’t hang out after school. I kept those relationships superficial.

I didn’t get the option to be a mall rat. I didn’t go see movies with other kids. I didn’t get to hang out at the arcade. I didn’t have friends to go on bike rides with. I didn’t have an SNES player 2 outside of my family.

I was afraid that if I had friends, they’d catch me checking out another guy and either attack me, or out me. I tried to convince myself that I was “alone but not lonely,” but I wasn’t. The only thing that kept me going was the belief that if I worked hard, I could get away from the toxic family and the toxic culture, to make my own life.

When I talk about the experiences that were stolen from me, there’s a reason I have a high level of confidence that it wasn’t merely the way my life would have developed anyway.

I have fairly wild swings between shy/quiet, and outgoing/expressive. I’ve always described myself as an “introvert communicator” because I value my alone time, and I do feel drained from many social interactions, but I also have a lot to say and the need to communicate it. It really shows when you compare how I was in front of a classroom or with clients now, vs how I am in a gathering of 5 or more people. Sometimes even one on one chatting, I’m aware that I'm struggling to do my part.

I wasn’t always an introvert. I wasn’t always socially awkward. I wasn’t always anxious in social situations. Before turtling, I was actually fairly normal, socially--despite the geek tendencies.

Many such memories are lost forever because of how young I was. Before I started kindergarten, I had a best friend--I don’t remember much about him, except that his name was Damien. We did normal kid stuff, including sleepovers. When my family moved for Kindergarten, I adapted quickly: I made friends with two of the neighbor girls. I remember even less about them because we moved back after the school year ended. My family recounted stories of me having a group of my own friends at the time; we were into Ghost Busters, of course.

When we moved back, I still have some memories of good social experiences in first grade. It was a fairly slow process between the end of first grade, up through third grade where I started pulling away. I vaguely recall instigating arguments with friends so I’d have an excuse to play alone at recess. Until that became the norm.

I know what society took from me, because I watched it slip away.

Being in the closet meant going through every day knowing that it’s “your fault” that you're isolated. That you erased yourself and that other people just like you, will never see that they’re not alone, either. Just because you wanted to get through your day without being harassed, or assaulted. That your own defense mechanism is isolating you.

It’s a deep isolation that comes with terror, and (justifiable) paranoia. Going through every day knowing that if you slip just a little bit--say something in a “funny” way, walk in an awkward way, or get caught checking someone out--you might end up in the hospital.

It means that if you're lucky enough to see someone who’s willing to express that they’re just like you, you can never talk with them: if someone sees you, they’ll suspect you. If they suspect you, they may hurt you. It means trying hard to find subtle hints that someone else is like you, and knowing that it’s too risky to say anything if you’re right. That the representation you need in your world, is dangerous to you.

Can you imagine how isolating that is for an 8 year old to know the world hates them, with no where to turn to for safety? To know that there’s no one in the world that they can ever trust? I was terrified: there was no way to know who was an enemy.

People who otherwise pass as nice can still be homophobic; they pretend to be good people, but even that seemingly sweet teacher could be a fatal liability. Complain about the slurs and risk the real, well-meaning teacher telling parents; as a teen, I became aware of groups like NARTH and Exodus International and was terrified that I could be forced into one of their torture camps if anyone found out.

How much anxiety would you have if you couldn’t trust anyone around you? How depressing would that be? How stressful? How would you feel about the culture that did it to you?

To some extent, our society understands what it means to hide: it’s what makes horror-thriller so compelling. Think about the iconic kitchen raptors scene from Jurassic Park. The visual of a person hiding for safety resonates with us all; it’s emotionally very complex.

Really look at the emotion involved in the scene: the kids are stressed. They’re off balance, completely terrorized. And they’re aware that they have to keep moving: that the safety provided by hiding is temporary, and fragile. That if they don’t find new ways to hide, their safety is gone. What is their mental state like? When things settle down, how do you think they’re going to feel when they can reflect on their experience?

Think about that for a minute. Imagine that temporary, fragile safety in hiding exists not for minutes, but for years. Not just in the kitchen, but in all aspects of your life; that it continues not just when you escape the raptors (like Billy Graham, Pat Robertson, et al), but also when your parents return because they’re just as dangerous.

What happens to someone psychologically who must constantly hide in fear; who can trust no one, when the world confirms it’s out to get them? When their whole identity has been erased from the world, while their allies hide, too? How sustainable is it, to be in that heightened state of stress and terror?

That’s what it means to be in the closet. You may be able to hide the target on your back, but it comes at a price.

To a 14 year old closeted gay kid, the internet was a taste of freedom. In fact, the internet is exclusively responsible for the totality of my dating life--my boyfriend of six years is no exception.

About.com had fairly good resources before Google was a thing--it gave me a chance to access information about who I was, and to learn about the things they "didn't have time" to address in sex education. I'll never forget the teacher, who went by "Vivacious Vicki," who communicated that my existence was so unimportant that I had to sit through a class that would never be relevant to me even if I asked on-topic questions that I needed answers to.

Answers and information that I couldn’t just get in the library: being seen looking for it was just too dangerous. The internet opened access to message boards like Delphi Forums. That gave me a space to counteract my erasure; to show that I exist and to fight for my existence in a way that didn’t risk my safety.

It gave me a chance to interact with other gay people. People my whole world taught me didn’t exist, or taught that they would disappear when “they got over” their “phase.” It gave me a safe place to talk about celebrity crushes; I was able to talk with other teens about how cute David Gallagher, and Erik von Detten were. And Xanga allowed me to write about my experiences on my own terms, to connect with others who felt empowered by my words.

It gave me a space to learn that we really are in every population; that anyone in the world really could be just like me. The internet also gave me the means to test coming out.

After I aged out of smart camp, I used AIM to come out to friends. I was able to choose one of the most important people first: my best friend across multiple years of camp. The internet ensured there was no risk--we wouldn’t be back at camp, we didn’t live nearby, and he didn’t have my phone number. That meant that we had no common proximity, or potential for common proximity, for a bad reaction to affect me. And because it was unlikely that we’d see each other again, losing that friendship was low risk.

In contrast, because of the danger involved, my first in-person coming out was very calculated. Much like Simon, in Love, Simon, I had found inspiration and strength from the internet--his nervous retreat from the computer and “FUCK! I can do this…” motion is one I had a lot of practice with. I had come out multiple times online, but saying those words out loud for the first time required a safety net.

I waited until the very end of my senior year of high school. I made that choice because if it went poorly, it wouldn’t matter: I’d be gone from the school, so I wouldn’t have to live with a higher daily risk of assault. I wouldn’t have to go through extended ridicule, or torment because I’d have an easy exit.

That wasn’t enough, though. It had to be in my room--it was my sanctuary, the place I hid from the world for safety. It also meant there wouldn’t be strangers passing by to overhear. It meant there weren’t extra variables to track; I didn’t have to watch my environment to make sure I wasn’t going to be blindsided by someone else who didn't like what I had to say. It meant no risk of embarrassment if my message was repeated.

It also had to be someone that wouldn’t treat it like a joke. Not in the sense of thinking I’m joking; it was important that it be someone who wouldn’t go back to others and laugh about it, as if what I was saying wasn’t serious and important. It was a huge weight I had to release from my shoulders, and I was conveying something very deep and essential about who I am, so it had to be someone who could hear it the same way I was saying it.

And most importantly, it had to be someone that I knew was physically weaker than I was. I knew I was risking being attacked and if I had to fight, I wanted to be confident that I could win. I’ve taken my punches before, but this time it was especially important that insult not be compounded by injury.

So, for the first time in my life, I’d invited someone over to hang out--I think it was about a week after graduation, but it’s a little fuzzy this long after. It was a high school chess club friend, under the guise of playing chess.

For all appearances, it was pretty underwhelming: I came out, he reacted well, and we played chess. But internally, that was huge for me; there was a battle to become comfortable enough to say the words, and a massive sense of relief after. As they put it in Love, Simon, I could “finally exhale.” That interaction gave me the confidence to join Allies in college, and to stop hiding who I am from the newer people to enter my life.

I still used the internet as a means to test the grounds before college. And a bit later, too. Some people acted weirdly right after--they wondered “aloud” why I was telling them, not realizing that I just wanted to stop hiding; some acquaintances even “disappeared” afterwords. But without the internet for practice, and as a shield, I don’t think I’d have found the courage to do it in person.

This is something that non-gay people have a hard time understanding. In any context, no matter how young you are, you can just start talking about the eye candy you see around you. Your biggest worry is that your friend will think your eye candy is ugly and make a joke about it until you see more eye candy cross your path.

That’s a normal part of teen and slightly pre-teen life that I didn’t get to have until my 20’s, AFTER college. It's profoundly sad, but authentic, that Simon's character didn't even start learning how to talk about attractive guys until the end of high school.

It’s such a little thing you can take for granted, that poses serious danger to people like me. You have the luxury of not coming out, the luxury of not having to think about these quality of life issues wrapped up in the process.

When I finally wanted to take baby steps out of hiding and make friends again, I didn’t really have the social skills to do it. I remember someone in 8th grade gym class who tried to be friends, but I no longer knew how how to go from daily chatting, to actually hanging out away from school.

I never got to have a best friend outside of smart camp, and I was terrified of going to school dances, so I didn’t--not that there’d have been a reason to, there was no way to find a suitable dance partner, anyway. One of the most obvious differences between Simon in Love, Simon and me is that I never did go to any high school parties--I was never invited, and I probably would have been afraid to go if I had been.

Smart camp was certainly a lot better in some ways. It was a social oasis. I had friends who are still important to me today, and I was able to go to the dances; mostly, I played cards with my friends because it wasn’t just a dance. But even that didn’t offer me a reprieve from the damaging culture around me.

Friends kept pushing me to dance with girls, and it was too dangerous to say why I didn’t want to. I delayed them by pointing out that I didn’t even know how to dance. In response, my best friend, my real crush, offered to show me how to slow dance. Not by telling me, but by actually dancing with me right then and there. In front of everyone. This was the first time in my life that I experienced bullet time as I scrambled to figure out how to react.

I panicked a little. I said no, and lied: I claimed it was only “fast dancing” that I didn’t know how to do, but that I could slow dance. I couldn’t do either, though. I was worried that if I let him show me how to dance, my friends would have noticed how much I was enjoying it; I was afraid that other onlookers would notice; I was afraid that my safety would be at risk, and that rumors would spread.

And so I rebuffed the chance at dancing with a guy, and in so doing, kept up the facade of heteronormativity. The survival mechanism that allowed me to hide from potential enemies also hid me from suitors and allies; that is the paradox of being in the closet.

I really missed out on something exceptional: I could have had my first dance with a real crush, and I could have learned to dance from a friend who cared about me enough to not even worry about being judged for dancing with a guy friend.

Instead, I completely embarrassed myself when they setup a dance for me, after being pressured to name a female crush. My humiliation was compounded by my attempt to use this fake crush as a means of denial; I was desperate to hold onto the facade of being just like everyone else.

In 2000, my last year at smart camp, a girl asked me to dance. I had said no, and after repeating myself about a dozen times, I retreated to the makeshift movie theater. She followed and kept asking; when everyone stared at me because of the disruption, I left, again.

I had nowhere else to go, since we weren’t allowed to go back to the dorms until later, so I actually hid in the bathroom. I don’t think I can convey how frustrating that is--I literally hid in the bathroom because it was too dangerous to say, “please stop, I’m gay.” Needless to say, the bathroom scene after the dance in Love, Simon really hit home.

That story doesn’t even end there. She asked an instructor for help; he came in a few minutes later to "persuade" me, too. I was backed in a corner with no place to escape, and the authority figure, the one who’s job was to protect me, insisted that I should dance with her. Because being in the closet meant I was perceived as merely being a shy non-gay kid who needed a nudge.

I felt powerless, disgusted, and terrified. Knowing my safety was on the line, I became her default dance partner for a couple weeks. Until she asked for a kiss. I was “lucky” that I only had to say no once before she moved on. Meanwhile, there was a guy in my group who, thanks to the benefit of hindsight, I know was interested--I missed it at the time, and lost the only opportunity I had for any kind of dating life in my teen years.

My hair was freshly cut that summer; it's so thick that the natural spikes of a flattop drew a lot of attention. Some of the staff loved patting my hair, and so did the girls in my group, including the one who compelled me to dance with her.

Our group was sitting in a booth playing card games, and the girls were playing with my hair as usual. There were 3 other guys at the table: I never got the name of the important one, but someone from the alumni association suggested it may be Nathan. Aaron is the second, and I don’t recall the name of the third. Aaron was grumpy and obnoxious in general, and he expressed disbelief that anyone could actually be so fascinated with someone’s hair.

Because of his reaction, the girls tried to convince Aaron to touch my hair--he got really awkward about it, and refused vehemently. The third guy sat there quietly, just watching in amusement as Aaron squirmed.

Nathan ignored the ongoing argument and started playing with my hair without saying a word; not just a quick pat, he let his hand linger on this and another occasion. I remember feeling really happy that I had received attention from a guy for the first time, but for twenty years I've been angry with myself for not having the courage to say anything at all.

In the moment, I didn’t realize Nathan was flirting, so I completely missed out on my only chance to explore dating at an only slightly delayed age. Instead, I didn't have my first date until months before graduating college. Many people underestimate just how much it hurts to watch others engage in normal social activities, while being left behind.

What was especially painful was that I missed out on a chance to talk with someone like me when I needed that the most; someone who could relate, and make me feel less isolated. Someone who could have helped me work through the emotions I was trying to understand just from knowing that he was going through it, too. I missed my only chance as a teen to talk with someone who could truly understand me.

That was my only chance at the time to understand that there really were gay people in my world--I still don’t know with certainty if anyone in my life at the time was gay or bi, and I wonder what it would be like to have that chance to talk with someone who shared some of my childhood and was trying to cope in hiding nearby, too. To see how differently they grew through it, and whether or not they resented the same things in our shared environment.

And worst of all, I never got contact information from Nathan, so I didn’t have the chance to get that conversation at a later time through the safety of the internet. Though I tried, I was never able to track him down.

That’s a regret I still hold onto today: I’ve always wanted some kind of closure. Did he know I was interested? Did seeing me dance with a girl discourage him, or did he realize that was part of being in the closet? Did he suspect that I was gay? Did he realize I tried flirting back? Was he struggling the way I was, or did he find comfort being himself? Did I really lose my one chance at normalcy, or did I misinterpret his gesture?

I don’t know that I’ll ever stop wanting these answers. It’s always there at the back of my mind, venturing to the front every few months.

I don’t want to be the kid hiding in the bathroom at the dance anymore, but sometimes, he’s still present. When people celebrate Billy Graham despite his support for Exodus International. When some complain that we’ve “gone too far” with “that whole equality thing.” When gay couples are still assaulted today, or after Pulse. When gay people can still be fired without cause in some states. When gay people can be turned down for renting or buying a home so long as the owner doesn’t say why.

I don’t think I’ll ever not be anxious when I come out, even in places that I know are relatively safe. And there are parts of life that I’ll never be able to experience because the wider culture took it away from me. But Love, Simon gives me hope that there really is a different future ahead.

Seeing a character experience these struggles without making it disaster-porn was refreshing. Seeing him able to experience the life that was denied to me is incredible. Seeing a mainstream movie with such an authentic, honest representation of someone like me is unimaginably meaningful. This movie showed the universal aspects of the gay experience, without resorting to tropes and trivialization; without getting too caught up in any niche subsets.

I needed this movie 20 years ago. Love, Simon truly could have changed my life if it had existed then. It was written from a place of respect, and showed the same due care as any film: and that means everything to me.

[btsjfans]

Class Clown Pt. 10

masterlist

part 9 

Summary: The class clown Taehyung has a lot more going on than anybody realizes, especially you, the class valedictorian.

Taehyung x Reader, fluff/angst

You heard you alarm go off, and you groan rolling over to shut it off. It was 9:30am on a Friday, your favorite day of the week. Every Friday either you or Taehyung would drive out to see each other, and this week it was his turn to visit. You’d been in college for 3 months now, and the November air was crisp in New York. You loved it here. You loved the people, the campus, the dorm, the classes, the city, everything. What made it better was that you could brag to your friends that your boyfriend attended an Ivy League as well. Life was almost perfect here. Almost. You didn’t have the company of your best friend Amari, or really any of your old friends here. Of course you’d made friends here, and you had a great group, but you had nothing that felt like home, which is another reason Tae’s visits were sweet. He was a piece of home, he made you feel safe. He made everything okay. 

He was enjoying college as well, he settled in nicely and he made a lot of friends. He mentioned how he said he wouldn't fit in at Yale, and yet he was in the ‘popular crowd’ once again. Always at social events, always posting pictures of his hijinks with his new friends, always being the class clown you knew and loved. 

You smile at the thought of him as you hastily pull on your clothes and get ready for your 10am class. You grabbed your coffee on your way out and stepped out. The air was crisp, and the sun was shining while casting a yellow-gold glow over the campus. You smiled to yourself, satisfied with where you’re at in life. 

Life had been good for you, being at college. Being out of your little bubble back home. Being free, being yourself. You knew you had to keep up your good grades here, but you didn't feel the pressure you’d felt before. Before you had to get into an Ivy League. Before you had to be valedictorian. Now, you just had to do your best. 

Your favorite class was at 2 - political science. You loved that class because it was all about facts and opinions. You loved hearing new perspectives, you loved to argue, you loved to talk, you loved to learn and surround yourself with more ideas. That, and your two best friends on campus were in there with you.

Xavier and Beth, you guys had hit it off from day one. Beth lived in the same building as you, which was convenient for late night snack runs, last minute study sessions, and impromptu sleepovers and movie nights. And Xavier, well he was his own story. With honey blonde hair, emerald green eyes, broad shoulders, golden tan skin, and an award winning smile, Xavier was easily one of the hottest guys on campus, and the recipient of many girl’s affections. You and Beth got some grief about it once you started being friends with him. Girls would give you the evil eye as you passed by with him, and you’d heard a few girls in your class complain about how you ‘so obviously wanted him’. But you really didn't care, he was so fun. You guys were like the three amigos, and it partially made up for the absence of your childhood best friend. 

You went to class and sat by Xavier and Beth, taking notes and whispering to each other in a hushed tone. Xavier put his arm around the back of your chair like he usually did, earning an annoyed huff from a girl a few rows back. Occasionally his thumb would brush your back and send chills down your spine, distracting you from what you were doing a couple times. You cast him a glance as you paused in your writing, only to find him staring at you with his enchanting green eyes. He smiled, and your mind went blank. Suddenly you seemed hyperaware of everything around you. The way he sat so close, his arm around your chair, the heat radiating off of him and that oh-so-heavenly smell that mixed with his natural scent and his cologne. You blushed and looked back to your notes, mind swimming.

You must really miss having Taehyung around if Xavier’s presence was affecting you this way.

Taehyung

Man I hate Xavier.

I drove a freakin hour and a half to see her, and yet here he is. It’s so clear he likes her, but I don’t think she realizes it. My little Y/n doesn't realize the affect she has on boys, bless her heart. I know she's beautiful and so amazing and that other guys will want her, but why this guy? I can’t compete with him, that’s for sure, so here I am, left at his mercy.

I love Y/n L/n, and that’s the one thing I know for sure in this world. I know she’s the reason I got into Yale. I know she’s the reason I turned my life around. I know she’s the reason I’m okay. 

Another fact I know for sure is that I’m scared.

I’m scared I’ll loose her.

I’m scared one day she’ll wake up one morning, and forget me. I’m not here every day, so she spends more time with Xavier than me. What if one day my weekend visits aren't enough?

My fist tightens around the flower’s stems as I watch him wrap an arm around her shoulders. They don’t see me. They just got out of their political science class. I knew she’d just be getting out, but I still wanted to be here to surprise her. I’m trying to stay calm and optimistic, but that’s kind of hard when you feel your legs shaking and heart pounding at a hundred miles an hour. I just want her so bad. I want her out of his grasp and back in my arms. Away from him.  Somewhere it’s just her and I, and we’re together and there’s no doubt that we won’t be together. I just want assurance. I want to know things will be okay. Does that sound weird and possessive? Yikes. 

You walk out of your political science class with Xavier and Beth. Xavier wraps an arm around your shoulders and playfully pushes you around, and you laugh. You three start to walk down the sidewalk when you look across the grass to see Taehyung, standing in a black turtleneck and black overcoat, with black jeans to match. He holds a bouquet of 5 roses in one hand, and has a disheartened look on his face. You blush realizing how this must look, Xavier’s arms around you. You break free of Xavier and sprint across the green to Taehyung, crashing into him. You hear him let out a soft “oof” as you two collide, but his arms still automatically find their way around you. You smile and look up at him, your face cold from the crisp air, but body coursing with heat at his touch.

“Hi,” you giggle, and he grins and cups your face kissing you. Your kiss starts out rushed and needy and excited, but slows after a moment. You both pull away, feeling flushed. You feel out of breath and excited, your heart is pounding, and you can’t wipe the smile off your face. 

“Hi,” He giggles back and holds out the roses proudly. “I brought you these.”

“Thank you Tae! They’re so beautiful,” You grin and accept the roses, hugging them to your chest, grateful he got the ones without the thorns still on. He takes his hand in yours and you wave goodbye to Xavier and Beth before turning back. You two start to walk down the sidewalk, a crisp autumn breeze in the air.  He tells you about the drive, about his life, even though you’re already caught up.

One hour passes, then two. Your heart starts to ache when you remember by Sunday evening he’ll be gone.

You’ve both quieted, and walk in comfortable silence. 

“I wish we could see each other more.” Taehyung says after a moment.

“Me too. But hey, Thanksgiving Break is coming up and we’ll get a long weekend together back home.” You smile, reminding him and he grins at the idea. You can tell he’s excited to go home, to see everybody.

“That’s true. Then after that is Christmas break, and then Spring break, and then summer vacation. Think of all the adventures we’ll have together.” He grins and twirls you. “Heck, lets go out sometime soon. Go on a weekend getaway together. Do something. Lets go now!” He grins grabbing your hands and you roll your eyes grinning.

“Hey, that sounds great, but let’s go tomorrow okay? We should spend tonight planning. Then tomorrow we can have our adventure.” You grin and smooth his hair. 

“Oh Y/n...I’m so crazy about you.” He smiles and presses his forehead against yours, kissing your nose softly.

Typically the girls you share a room with don’t bring tons of guys home, but when one of you do, it’s an unspoken code for everybody else to G E T O U T. They know the deal with Taehyung, and they’re cool with it. You’re really glad you got such chill girls who you can have this kind of deal with. You and Taehyung had the dorm to yourself for the night, which meant movies, snacks, cuddles, and kisses. 

You two were laying on the couch, cuddled up together when Taehyung started to kiss your neck lightly, sending chills down your arms. You loved it when Tae did that, he was so soft and gentle and knew all the right spots. He tightened his arms around your waist and held you close to him and trailed his lips up your jaw. You bit your lip, getting into the mood when he started blowing raspberries on your neck and tickling you, making you squeal and laugh, hitting his arms. 

“TAE!!” You yelled amid your laughs, kicking and squirming, only making him more determined, and making his laughs more wicked. 

After you watched a movie and spent a couple hours cuddling, Tae got some paper and started drafting ideas for your adventure. You guys loaded up on soda and candy, and spent your sugar high planning your adventure. 

Tomorrow was going to be perfect.

The next morning you wake up to somebody knocking at the door. You’re laying on your back in bed with Taehyung on top, his head buried in your neck. He sleeps right through the knocking and you smile kissing his head softly. You hate to get up but you were worried it was one of your dorm mates. You slipped out from beneath his body and crept out the door. You heard Tae groan in response to the absence of your body and you grinned at the image of him pouting. As you reached the door, another knock resounded and you pulled it open, grimacing at the cold breeze you were met with. Standing before you was Xavier, whose blonde hair shined in the morning glow. His green eyes shone bright, and his smile sparkled. He wore a navy blue polo sweater and khaki skinny jeans with vans. He looked like a prep model, and here you stood with messy hair, and wrinkly pajamas. Embarrassed and confused was the only way you could describe your state right now. 

“Xavier what’re you doing here?” You smile at your friend but can’t hide your confusion.

“Oh, um it’s my birthday and you, Beth, and I were going to go out remember?” Xavier tilts his head. 

“Oh my god that was today..” you breath, closing your eyes. “I’m so sorry I forgot, here I have your present in my room, sorry it’s not wrapped.” You rush back and see Taehyung smirking under the covers at you, but frowns as he looks through the now open bedroom door to see Xavier standing in the doorway. He gets up and shuts the door.

“What the heck is this?!” He hisses and points to the door where Xavier stands outside. 

“I promised him we’d go out for his birthday and he’s ready to go out and I don’t know what to do!!” You whisper back and grab the card you’d prepared a couple weeks ago and the gift you’d gotten him - a few polos and a picture frame with a picture of you, Beth, and him in it. 

Taehyung frowns and bites his lip sitting on your bed. “What was your plan for his birthday?” 

“We were going to go into the city and mess around all day. I can ask if we can go tomorrow..” You can see how hurt Tae is and feel bad. You know he was excited for your adventure today. You were excited too, Taehyung’s visits were what you lived for.

“Just go.” He sighs and rolls back into bed, facing away from you.

You frown and nod to yourself bringing out the gift to a grinning Xavier.

Taehyung

Of course. Of frickin course. It just had to be his birthday. The day of our adventure. 

I can hear his laughter outside the door. God my girl is so charming no wonder he wants her. She’s such a good person, she does so much for her friends. She-

“Oh Y/n you’re just the best friend I could have asked for!” Xavier’s laugh echoes through the apartment and I squeeze my eyes shut and yell into a pillow. He knows I’m here, he’s doing this on purpose, I just know it. I bet it’s not even his birthday. 

I grab a white turtleneck I packed and my black coat, and slip on some dark jeans and lace my vans. I stride out, looking my best.

“Hey darling, I’m going out. Text me when you’re done playing with..sorry what’s your name?” I tilt my head and give Xavier a pleasant but unimpressed look. I want him to know his place. 

“Oh, Xavier. Nice to meet you. And you are...?” Xavier returns with the same look. He’s good. He knows exactly what game we’re playing.

“Kim Taehyung, Y/n’s boyfriend of 3 years. Do you go here,or the community college? I go to Yale.” I smile and put my arm around Y/n, narrowing my eyes. His green eyes flicker but his smile never wavers.

“Oh sorry, she’s never mentioned you so I didn't realize she was taken! And yeah I go here. Y/n and I hang out every day.” He smiles at me with a charming smile. No wonder Y/n trusts this guy, he’s a walking Ken doll, the poster child for trustworthy-harmless boys. 

“Mmm I’m sure she’s mentioned me. Anyways, my dear just text if you need anything. I love you,” I smile and cup her face in my hands, kissing her deeply and slowly. I want him to see what true love is. Maybe then he’ll leave her alone.

Xavier and you stood in the kitchen in silence, staring at the door Taehyung just walked out of. There was so much tension between the two boys, and this weird unspoken..thing. You couldn't explain what you just witnessed, but it was weird. 

Xavier laughed and ran a hand through his hair. “Taehyung seems great! I’ll whip you up a breakfast, and you go get changed and we’ll head out.” Xavier smiles, and you can’t help but smile back. You walk back to your room and get changed, their conversation replaying in your head. Xavier definitely knew who Taehyung was, and vise versa. What was with them?

You walk out to see Xavier smiling at the table, pancakes and eggs spread before him. 

“Breakfast is served,” He winks.

Taehyung

I walk down the sidewalk, anger, fear, confusion, hurt, all warring inside of me. Today was supposed to be our day, today was supposed to be our adventure. I sit down on a park bench, looking out over a pond. A few ducks who haven't migrated yet quack and float around, not a care in the world. I reach into my pocket and pull out the paper we wrote our plan on. I smile as I think back to last night. Us both fighting over control of the pencil, the paper wrinkled from our warring. I read the messy, 1am handwriting.

**(below, bold is Taehyung, regular is Y/n)

Taehyung And Y/n’s Adventure Day

Wake up at 6:30am NO DUMMY THATS TOO EARLY 

Wake up at whatever time we freakin want 

Have Y/n make Taehyung breakfast  HAHA not happening babe

Make breakfast together

Get dressed and go to the city. Get kicked out of as many stores as possible

Go streaking 

Spend over $50 on dinner (WE BETTER SPLIT THE CHECK)

Make out in 5 elevators

Visit every park in the city

Take a ferry across the river 

Have a picnic

Stargaze

Talk about how much we love each other

I smile imagining what we would be doing right now. Would we be in Macy’s trying to get kicked out? Would we be making out in an elevator?

My smile fades as I fold the paper and put it away. Here I am, alone in a cold park, while she’s out with him. 

“God Y/n, how do I compare?” I ask aloud, burying my head in my hands. 

Xavier said Beth was sick as you two left your apartment. You offered to go check on your ill friend, but he acted really weird.

“N-no! She’s on bed rest! We can’t.” He shakes his head, smiling nervously.

“Well alright...what first?” You and Xavier take a taxi to the city, and while he makes you laugh and makes chipper conversation, you can't take your mind off of Taehyung. Where is he right now? What’s he doing? Is he okay?

You carry on with your day, smiling along with Xavier’s jokes, but not really listening to him. 

“Y/n?” He asks. You snap out of your daze and look up at him. You two are sitting at a cafe as night is falling. Fairy lights sparkle around you, french music plays, and the air is chilly with the November breeze; in other words, the mood is perfect for romance. “I..I know we have something.” He stands up and pulls you up too.

“Yeah, you’re one of my best frien-”

Your words are cut short as Xavier kisses you. One hand on the back of your neck, the other on your waist. His skin sends warmth through your body everywhere he touches, his sweet smell makes you dizzy. He kisses you deeply, passionately. You feel yourself kiss back.

Sooooo here’s 10..you like it? I wanted to make it good but I didn't know how so I really hope you enjoyed it. Want 11? Be sure to send feedback, it helps. Thanks!!

[spinnerprincess]

17 - Alvin/Ludger/Milla

I do not believe in love at first sight.  But god damn. (Look at you.)

It’s awful with Ludger because he doesn’t notice it, like, even a little. Probably because he’s younger than Alvin. Not so much that he feels sketchy about it, just enough that there’s a gaping hole where the words “experienced enough to notice that Alvin’s in over his goddamn head again” should be. 

Ludger is contradictory. He’s gentle and kind to Elle and generally soft-spoken, when and if he even speaks at all. Also, he fights viciously, with little hesitation or mercy, and when he’s angry it’s the kind of cold anger that can give a whole room chills, yet flip hot at a moment’s notice. 

Alvin gravitates into his orbit and it takes him a solid ten minutes to realize he’s doing that. 

“You’re pretty good,” Alvin blurts before he can tell his mouth to never do that. 

“Thanks,” Ludger says, genuinely surprised. Genuinely. Like it’s a shock to him, or something, that someone might think he’s good at what he does. 

Alvin takes a verbal shot at Elize before his mouth thinks of something else uniquely unintelligent to say about that.

By the end of day one he knows he would go to the end of the world to help Ludger find his way. What’s a little risk of life and death among pals? And it is so, so refreshing to finally have someone in his life who doesn’t know. Ludger has only ever seen him be Leia’s best friend, or a helpful if slightly awful businessman. Ludger learns, eventually, but it’s still something in the past. He can see it doesn’t fully connect.

Being around him, Ludger just sees him as a valued friend. He trusts him. He trusts him. It’s a gift Alvin can’t repay and desperately wants to live up to. 

By the end of the week, Alvin’s not, urgh, in love or anything, but he knows he’s headed down a road that’s hard to come back from. He wishes that one day he could stop yearning for impossible people at the drop of a hat.

-

It’s awful with Milla because for the longest time, he doesn’t notice it. I mean, he notices some of it, of course. There’s that whole awkward “looks exactly like Milla, who stepped on me for my own good” issue getting in the way for a while. He feels out the attraction on day one, puts in in a box, labels that box “not Milla, different person, do not even think about it,” and sets it aside.

Putting the pieces together takes a while. In his head he keeps a mental tally of the ways she’s different. That she’s less emotionally stable he figures out immediately, that it’s part of why she’s somehow more real and human to him takes him much longer. He notices that she’s vibrant and clever and snappy. He notices that she wants to create good things in the world. He notices that she’s kind to Elle, cold to Jude, and never more alight than when she’s trading barbs with him to pass the time.

All of it goes in the box. 

It’s not until right up at the end there when it hits him. She mutters something about how she never belonged here, and finds himself completely off guard when his first instinct is to reply, “Of course you belong here, you always have.” He manages to keep the lid on that one, reels in the panic. 

Milla had always felt like a distant, unreachable ideal, something amazing to aspire towards. Milla? He wants to tell her it’s okay. He wants to tell her she doesn’t have to live up to that. He feels like he could stay at her side. Like that’s a place he could be. And she could stay by his.  

And if he hadn’t been, I don’t know, his usual idiot self, he probably would have noticed it from the very start. 

He probably could have noticed it in time to say goodbye. 

-

They’re worse together. They’re the worst together.

He sees the light in Ludger’s eyes when Milla bends down a little to give Elle a bowl of soup. He sees Milla grin and brag when Ludger tells her she’s a good cook, and then wilt when somebody mentions Muzét, and then retreat into the awkward silence where her entire world used to be. And then she perks up again, just slightly, when Ludger reaches out a hand. And then she turns away. Ludger frowns.

He just wants to pick them up and shove them together. It’s so clear to him that it could be something good. They both have so many ways they need to heal. They could be sweet to each other. They could make each other feel better. They could kiss each other on each other’s faces and just be done with this stupid dance already. Maybe if they became happy enough, he could convince himself that it wasn’t also just kind of the thought that they’d be an embarrassingly, extremely attractive couple, though. 

He is trying to be a good person. It’s not easy, but he thinks he’s succeeding. He’s working on it, at least. They’re helping, even if they don’t know it. When they talk he doesn’t feel the weight of guilt still pressing against his chest. They make him feel like he could climb mountains made of the shit he’s done and will do. 

Ludger has moments of brutal honesty where he says “of course I can leave Elle with you, why wouldn’t I?” and means it and it stays with Alvin for weeks. Milla’s teasing covers the fact that she seems to hang out near him without realizing it, flinching away from the others when they talk about Milla - “the real Milla,” he hears Elize say, which is the first time he’s ever though she might be less mature than he is. It doesn’t escape his attention that she hardly ever flinches around him. If he didn’t know better, he might call the friendly banter they sometimes dip into a light form of “flirting.”

It’s excruciating when it ends.

-

By some kind of divine intervention, they come back to him. Their loss is still raw even if all he’d ever really lost was long-shot opportunity. He spends a week having heart attacks whenever he sees either of them, alive and shining.

It takes some work on his part, and theirs, but eventually, they finally do that thing where they talk out their problems. They ask him to watch Elle for a while as they work towards finally making out with each other. Elle seems to notice that he’s a little melancholy about something and decides the only solution is to leave and get ice cream and watch a princess movie. 

“Precocious” is a word he would use to describe Elle, but so is “great.”

-

He’s used to not getting things he wants and he knows his heart well enough to know that someday, after he’s been kicked enough to realize he doesn’t belong there, he’ll find someone else to pine after within about an hour of meeting them. 

This is why he’s so surprised when they ask Leia to watch Elle (Elle’s first sleepover, apparently), invite him over, and ask him to stay. He crumples into their arms when he lets himself believe that they mean it. 

-

It surprises them all when he’s the first to say I love you, but then again, he’s probably known the longest of them all. It wasn’t love at first sight, but god damn. It might as well have been. It was pretty damn close. (And it’s better than he could have ever dreamed.)

[crescendeyes]

how you broke me.

By now, you may or may not know my story. By now, you may believe him or me. By now, you might deny that anything I say or testify was a lie or was bullshit. By now, it doesn’t really matter - what mattered was, I wasn’t hurt, I was broken. 

Earlier in 2016, I started off my year with a lot of uncertainties & an embarkment of a fresh start from my year before. No different from any start of the year, everything was hopeful and went well. Anything bad that happened was a small bump - it didn’t affect me much & my spirit wasn’t so easily broken. It also took me awhile to write this because I didn’t know whether this will deem as an attention seeking to write up or a pouring off my soul. 

I fell in love with someone really quickly back in Feb 2016. I honestly saw him as a good fuck and go because he needed to go back to Australia in a few days anyway. The reason, why I thought he was one, was because, during our first date, he was interesting, had a vision and idea of how to lead his life & agreed to my idea that relationships are pointless at our age. Oh, how he bragged about the girls he has dated and fucked. How they wanted him so badly but he chose to remain single. I fell in love with his charasmatic behaviour, his ability to be shy despite his confidence, his smile and laugh when he finds my humour amazing or lack of grace hilarious. Little did I know, he was the desperate fuckboi that begged girls for nudes and sex but blames them for being the dumb one that agreed to send it over in the first place. But who could blame them? I was stupid enough to get into a relationship with him so easily when he left and convinced me that he has fallen in love with me and wants to stay committed. 

And committed did he stay....for awhile. I believe I forgot to mention that we were doing long distance. Here is something you should know about the child I was dating:

he was self-centred - he spoke highly of himself when it came to girls but was also able to spin the direction towards the fact that girls should have some self-respect and how he respected them likewise.

he was/is a fuckboi - he will tell you he is otherwise. he will tell you he has standards, he will tell you he is not disgusting and he regrets certain decisions. That is until you find out he is neither. 

he is a child - I don't mean to pick of maturity but it does play a role when someone doesn’t know how to differentiate priorities vs importance. After our breakup, he not only denied his cheating scandals back in Australia, he even turned the tables around and blocked me everywhere & did not want me to give my stuff back. Even threatened to release personal things of mine on the internet. Boy, did I see his true colours. Up until now, its been more than a month of me chasing his ass to give me back my stuff but to no avail did he get back to me or my friends regarding this. 

he is manipulative & a compulsive liar - he managed to lie to everyone around him, including his parents and friends that he is a decent human being but what you did not know was how he physically abused me and mentally screwed with me + emotionally abandoned me. Little did I know, he went around telling people around him & convincing people that I am the crazy one. 

a cheater & a person incapable of love - he is selfish, he never once tried to make it a point to be on my family’s good side. Neither did he bother to make sure my reputation and image in front of his friends and family would be protected. He only cared about his own reputation. This “nice guy” demeanour he pulled off was sickening to watch, especially when he brought home two drunk girls by secret and had them slept over. Confronting him the next day about it - he acted like it wasn’t a big deal. He told me “If you did it, I wouldn’t be mad” + “I see her as a little sister” - yeah, a little sister would sleep next to you in bed while her drunk bff sleeps outside the living room couch. I thought your parents didn’t like you having girls sleepover? or was that a lie as well? Did I also mention that his parents will stand up for him even if he ever fucked up? yeah...that's the kinda parents he has. Daddy & Mummy’s golden boy. He also got caught texting someone’s fiance saying he was single + texting some ratchet ass girl bout how he wants to break up with me when he comes back from Australia and how he wanted to hook up with her after he did. Disgusting.

a person incapable of commitment but pretends it’s every girl’s problem but his - every ex he talked bout’ “She’s crazy” “She’s a physco” “I fucked some other girl right after her” “She's a bitch” while he praises girls in front of his girlfriend “Her ass is nice” “I like her tits” “You should be more like her”. Secretly, he wanted girls he can’t afford, like his best friend, she’s beautiful, rich, polite and demure. I guess he always wanted her or her type but he knew how dirty he was so he goes for an imitation of her kind and expects glory and love out of it. You’re disgusting. 

he is a gold-digger - girls around him are either, rich, popular, pretty or slutty, but the main point of being their friend? Money. It wasn’t as if he didn’t have money but he was a weasel like that you see. His friends are mostly blessed with money or popularity. His exes? Haha. You can already guess. I’m not rich myself but I can be generous. The amount of money I spent on this child was beyond my paycheck. Did I regret it? Kinda. I loved him and treated him like a king, in return, I was treated less than nothing. He did buy me gifts and once in awhile pamper me when he strikes a luck with gambling but that’s it, he also spends money on me using the money I gave him. Funny right? He made it seem like he actually cared and actually thought of me when he won money but this whole entire time, he was using my money to gamble. My money to “treat” & “pamper” me. Lol.

So thats a good amount of introduction you can get from me about him. I guess whats left is how he broke me. Below you find a gruesome story, one that shifted my mental health & affected my physical health. One that ruined my 2016 and early 2017 and has now scarred me so bad that I am incapable of loving someone without feeling unworthy of it or even thinking that they’re gonna leave me anyway. Are you ready? Will you click on the banner below?

You broke me.

You broke me so bad that I can’t even begin without shaking in anger and fear. The first 3 months were perfect. You couldn't stop telling and talking to people about me. You would take any measure and effort to make me feel special because we were doing LDR. You would make future plans with me and tell me I was special and worth fighting for in the relationship. How different I was being treated by you compared to your ex. How much you loved me more than anything else and shower me with surprises - like getting Emelia to send me flowers and cookies cause you upset me the other day. You would tell me how your parents give you only JUST ENOUGH to survive in Australia & how you needed to save for when I come to Australia to find you, so you ate cup noodles and saved every penny possible. And you did. I was happy, motivated to earn buck by buck with sleepless nights off my freelance work and eventually getting no sleep at all together with you just to skype, talk on the phone and facetime with you. Sometimes, I even do it at work and you would be happy to just hear my voice. I live day by day to see you happy & to see us grow. When I came over, we were the happiest - cooking together, going around together, travel to a different state to meet your friends, cuddle in bed and had sex all the time. You wanted me. You needed me. You have me and didn’t want to let go. Not even for a second. 

But you wanted to control me. 

And I let you. In return, you trusted me to control you a little as well. You changed your wallpaper to our photo and ask me to do the same. So I did. And whenever you get pissed at me, my punishment was you changing your WhatsApp display photo & wallpaper. It wasn’t something big but it was the little things....the little punishments you had for me that made me feel lesser bit by bit. And soon after your punishments became more ridiculous. I couldn’t wear certain clothes but you would check out girls who hang their tits and ass out to the world. You would stop having sex with me but would lie to me bout jerking off to other girl’s photos or pornstars. You would forbid me to wear certain clothes or I won't hear from you - for a week. You would break up with me if I tried controlling you. You would lie to me about so many things and when I go thru your phone, you’d be mad at me and call me a physco. But was I really crazy? I caught you lying on every occasion. I caught keeping secrets and deleting messages when you told me you had nothing to hide. I even believed you when you said the drunk girls you brought slept over in your room while you slept outside. I asked you 5 times, you told me a different or similar story every time. But you didn’t know I always know the truth and someone is bound to tell me something. 

“How much you loved me more than anything else and shower me with surprises - like getting Emilia to send me flowers and cookies cause you upset me the other day.”

I eventually paid for my own flowers because he couldn’t afford to pay Emilia back. So technically, I paid for my own flowers and his surprise. Word of advise fuckboi, if you can’t fucking afford a surprise, then don’t start it. 

“You would tell me how your parents give you only JUST ENOUGH to survive in Australia & how you needed to save for when I come to Australia to find you, so you ate cup noodles and saved every penny possible. And you did.”

Only, you eventually needed me to give you money for your iPhone (cause dad doesn't wanna give me more money to buy a phone), your trip to Melbourne (cause my parents won't give me extra) & every other bullshit (cause my parents won't fund me if I come back to Malaysia myself. bullshit.) Remember when I told you he was a gold digger? His ex bought him an iPhone and DW watch too. Actually, his ex is a saint for buying him everything he liked. I just couldn’t afford anything else. He would tell me, “Babe I don’t need material things from you.” but would ask if I could chip in money for everything else. He even told my friend, Rachel, “It’s ok, I’ll pay for your dinner since you helped me surprise Amanda.” but ends up walking with me to the counter and say “Babe, I don't have money can pay first? Thanks, yea.” and walks over to my friend and starts talking to her RIGHT AFTER surprising me. I mean, did you come back for me? or was that just bullshit? 

The second time you came back to Malaysia, you apparently bought a plane ticket to come back to see me one last time before you start a busy year ahead of your career. But you only told me a day before you came back that you won't see me when you come back the first day, “maybe Tuesday? Maybe Wednesday? I don’t know...see how la.” - that's what you told me. Because why? You wanted to go see your old high school mate Ann Ann. 

You:

Tell me you wanted to see her first cause she was leaving and you haven't seen her in ages.

Didnt even suggest I come along to meet your friends like how you did with ALLLLL your other friends.

Didnt even decide to make it up to me and give me a definite plan that you wanted to see me.

Did not plan to even see or meet me especially when you had time after dinner to meet me first before meeting her. 

Called me a bitch and said I didn’t let you see your friends and forced you to see me first day you landed. - didn’t you say you came back for me, Ryan? Pfft. Bullshit. 

And then you had the nerve to ask me for money to survive in M’sia. What a prick.

“You would forbid me to wear certain clothes or I won't hear from you - for a week.”

For the past 6-8 months after I left Australia, you did nothing but brought misery to my life. I spent almost 80% of my nights crying to bed because of you. Why? Because you loved punishing me. You loved isolating me and watching me beg for your forgiveness. You loved being in control and torturing me whatever way possible and what could I do if you flirt with girls? If you slept with them? If you texted them telling them how much of a physco your girlfriend is? How you wish your girlfriend was more like them. How you wish she would get off your back. 

But you didn’t get off my case as well didn’t you? After cheating on me you went on to get mad at me for going out with a guy for the movie. I broke up with YO and you ask me why I didn't console you or tried to make you feel better after going to watch a movie with some guy. Bitch, you cheated, lied and fucking abused me! And you want me to feel sorry for my innocent movie date? fuck you.

“....the little punishments you had for me that made me feel lesser bit by bit. And soon after your punishments became more ridiculous.”

This affected me big time. These little punishments would kill me and hurt me so bad that it affected my work. I would cry and try calling him 80 times just so that we could “work things out”. But what do I get? Nothing. The only time he will ever reply was when I try calling his friends to see where he was and ask them to talk to him and to call me back. But what was his reply? 

“Stop calling my friends or I will block you.”

“Stop calling my friends or I will post things you will have a lot to answer for back in M’sia. And I can tell you, you will be embarrassed.” 

“You either stop calling me or you won’t hear from me ever.”

I found comfort in those words. It meant that he would still call me and talk to me after he calms down. But when? It was his call, never mine. So I wait...I cry waiting....I sit by my computer at work with work piled up...waiting...and waiting....nothing. 

“You would make future plans with me and tell me I was special and worth fighting for in the relationship.”

I had this dream played a thousand times in my head. A perfect relationship with you. I smile at the thought of us getting excited over things we love to do & the places we were destined to visit. You were worth every sleepless night, every shed of blood, sweat & tears, every penny & cash. But apparently, I couldn’t accept the way you loved me. At least, that’s what you claimed. But I only expected the kind of love you gave me to me at the start of our relationship. The wants, the needs and the care YOU once gave to me. How is that expecting too much? If anything, you wield your own sword. So no Ryan, I did not “EXPECT” anything more. I expected THIS. This love you gave to me from the start to last and not die.

“He physically, mentally & emotionally abused me”

How did he physically abused me? Haha. I wish I had the chance to turn back the time. I’ll leave the details behind but

here's a list of things he did to me:

Yanked me by the hair to make a point 

Punched me in the eye and permanently damage the nerve 

Pushed me out of his room and outside of his house till i stumble and fall down on the floor - hitting myself. And what was I doing? Trying to get my stuff back from him and silently walking out.

Broke my glasses.

Threw my iPhone 6.

Slapped me on my face. 

Whacked my left arm when I didn’t want him to leave.

Push me to the ground leaving blue blacks everywhere.

Grabbed me by the neck to choke me.

Grabbed me by the jaw, damaging my muscles.

Leaving scratches and blue blacks all over my arms & legs.

And what did I do when all of this happened? Nothing. Whenever I tried fighting back, it was still my fault. Whenever I tried defending myself, I brought it upon myself. I shouldn’t have provoked his temper or him. Now you might agree that I shouldn’t have done certain things - cause if you did, you’d be an equal prick just like him. 

After all that has happened, all I wanted was to break things off and finally move on from Satan himself. Up until today, he hasn’t apologized for he has done, neither did he want to give me back my stuff. Oh he did apologize for one thing tho - he apologized bout the texting other girl incident but really, he was only really sorry for getting caught. How did I know this? Because when I ask him about it, he denied every single time. And when I gave him a warning to come forward with the truth or it’s over, all the fuckboi could reply was 

“If you have proof then you talk, if not fuck off!” 

“You only believe in your own emotional lies that you can come and accuse me?” 

“Come at me!”

- he said.

Suddenly, everything turned dark. I moved back to memories where I used to go ballistic and call out his friends and the sluts he hangs out with. Blaming them and finding fault with them for convincing myself that it wasn’t his decision but their influence. But was it really? Or was it the fucking good impression you gave them Ryan, that set them off course, to pushing you to end things, to the lies you fed them about how fucking righteous and loyal you are, to the fucking spins you take on the stories where YOU WERE THE PHYSCO but you painted me the self-victimizing bitch you so boldly claimed I was. For a long long long time, I believed you. I believed it was my fault. I blamed every single part of me for the fall of our relationship. For you. For every finger, you lifted on me. For every time I cry and sit in pain and silence, waiting for you - it was my fault, I shouldn’t have, I could’ve, I should’ve. For every time you claim to be the victim & pointed your finger at me for self-victimizing and letting me believe that you were right. For every time you didn’t want to fix something so I pick up the pieces. For every time you get mad and pissed at me, you ignore me for the night and disappear to a bar or a club while I wait at home and didn’t even dare flinch for a phone call, a cry for help or a shoulder to cry on. For every time, you decided it was okay to make me feel less than nothing. For every time, you bitched and tell people you love/hate me. For every time you lied to me. For every time you slept with someone behind my back. For every time you never came clean. For every time you were too much of a pussy to face the consequences. 

I forgive you.

Because I don’t need you in my life anymore.

You were toxic. You ARE toxic.

I pray I never see The Devil’s face again.

I pray I never meet or encounter anyone as disgusting as you are.

I beg the Lord to rid my life of scums and pricks like you.

I cry to the Lord for the pain I had in this year with you.

I accept that I am capable of being loved.

I accept that I am of value and can’t be discriminated or minimized by the likes of you.

You are a bully and a scam Ryan Tan. I pray you have a good life ahead.

I pray you would stop ruining any other girl’s life.

You broke me and I am still left broken till now.

But I had found someone worthy. I had found someone that won’t hurt me. 

Unfortunately for you, what goes around comes around. Good luck. 

One more thing, I pray you never find love because your love is a death wish.