#and mutual much-needed emotional release/support

[oncillabrigade]

Okay so here's my thing: I figured I would hop right into part 2 of my babby Tim fic after finishing part 1, and then a really fucked up Tim/Ra's idea jumped into my head and got me by the throat, and now I have mood whiplash from my own brain/writing?!

Also, a scene from my truly stupid, self-indulgent "Jason and Tim accidentally become bros immediately" fic sprung into my sleepy mind and then poured itself out of my fingers fully formed into a Google Doc.

So. I may be writing multiple longfics at the same time. Wish me luck?!

[ghostlyferrettarot]

🌷Pick a Picture: 💐🌷Blessings Coming to You in 2025🌷💐

•Pile 1 •Pile 2 •Pile 3

🪷Hello! I want to wish everyone a Happy New Year! I hope all your wishes come true this new year. I also want to thank every person that support me and my page this year, that took a little bit of their time to check into my blog🫶 From the bottom of my heart, thank you so much! I hope we can navigate this new year together again🪷 with love, Kat 🧡💐

✨️Paid Services ✨️ (Natal charts and tarot readings) Open!

🫧Join my Patreon for exclusive content!🫧

🌸If you like my work you can support me through Ko-fi. Thank you!🌸

💐Masterlist💐

🦚Pile 1: The Sun, The Empress, The Six of Cups.

This pile has a very vibrant and positive energy. If you've been waiting for a glow-up, this is your year! With The Sun, the blessings coming are of joy, success, and self-confidence. This card symbolizes sort of a new light in your life, both physically and emotionally. You may experience an external transformation that makes you feel more confident about yourself, it could be through changes in your style, self-care, or a new energy that will attract people. This glow-up will likely also allow you to connect more with your passions and what truly makes you happy. In 2025, you may feel very connected to your self and your needs. This card also suggests a new love, especially if you feel like you've been waiting for the right time to open your heart. There's a great chance of a healthy and good relationship, based on mutual respect and kindness. If you're looking for love, 2025 could be the year you find someone who values ​​you the same way you value yourself. Something from the past comes back to bring a sense of happiness or reconciliation, i feel like you will be connecting with a past friend or family member. It could be the perfect time to close cycles and heal old emotional wounds.

🦚Song:

🌸Pile 2: Death, The Chariot, The Three of Wands.

This pile has a transformative and powerful energy. The Death card, speaks of a change that brings with it new beginnings, a transformation. This shift could be related to a major emotional release, where you let go of old patterns, toxic relationships, or limiting beliefs that no longer serve you. You're ready for a new version of yourself, and this process could be liberating and healing. Through this transformation, you're likely to feel stronger and clearer about what you really want in your life. Once you make that shift, you'll take full control of your destiny. You could experience a major boost in your professional or personal life, where obstacles that once seemed unattainable now fade away at your will. The Chariot also symbolizes travel or commuting, so you could have the opportunity to move to a new place or even start a job that involves travel or expansion. If you're looking for a new job, this could be the year where you finally manage to move forward and obtain a position that offers you greater opportunities and growth. In your professional life, this could be a year where doors open for you, especially if you've been working on your long-term goals. The Three of Wands can also mean that the efforts you've been making are finally starting to bear fruit. You may also receive support from others who believe in your vision.

🌸Song:

🐬Pile 3: The Lovers, The Two of Cups, The Nine of Cups.

This pile is completely focused on love, relationships, and emotional fulfillment. If you've been looking for a meaningful relationship or a life partner, 2025 could be the year that everything falls into place. The Lovers indicates that a great love is about to enter your life, and it will not only be romantic, but also deeply meaningful in general, in friendship and family connections too. You may find someone with whom you share an intense and genuine connection, a relationship that makes you feel complete and happy. This could be the kind of relationship where you both support each other, grow together, and understand each other without words. If you are already in a relationship, this is an excellent time to strengthen that bond, deepening the relationship and sharing open and loving communication.

I feel like 2025 will be a year in which not only are your romantic desires fulfilled, but you will also feel fulfilled and satisfied with your life in general. You may finally achieve that balance between your personal desires and your achievements, feeling like you are in the right place both in love and in your personal development.

🐬Song:

[ladyoftheflowers-witch]

What's coming in love? 💓💓💓💓💓💓💓

Pile 1: 3 of pentacles, 7 of wands.

Welcome pile 1, I'm here to tell you that your love life is about to take a turn. You are so used to do everything alone that you think you don't need anyone and that a relationship could be your downfall, that you would lose everything that you have acomplished with hard labor and dedication.

But I should also tell you that with this attitude you could disdain important help from someone who secretly admires you. This person is good with details, they have the ability not only to be a great companion, but also to make you feel like everything it's easier and enjoyable to do if they are by your side.

You are about to learn that you can grow as a person beside this person and they can grow with you as well, you both are gonna support each other's goals. I'm not gonna lie to you pile 1, they have or you have a very short temple, strong character and are a little stubborn, so this relationship could require effort, understanding and compassion, as you are gonna love each other enough to work it and make it happen .

There will be mutual respect, trust and team work, give this new person a chance pile 1. They are gonna help you overcome hard times by showing their love to you.

They could be tall, have long black hair and brown eyes. They could be a capricornus or leo.

Letters or initials that could be important: F,A,T,B,P.

Pile 2: 2 of wands, 9 of swords.

Hi there pile 2, you are feeling confused and dissapointed in love, maybe you are leaving or you are about to leave a toxic relationship. This person could have lied to you many times, but you didn't let them manipulate you. With them you know that when is good it's amazing, but when it's bad it could escalate to worst in a min, and this is what signified the last straw for you.

I feel like in this moment the best thing for you is to work in healing your emotional wounds. Reflect in your needs, emotions and what you want from love. You have this deep rooted fear of abandonment, you are carring an enormous emotional load in your heart that needs to be released. Feel your emotions pile 2, cry, take that depression nap, sometimes our heart also needs fiscal rest.

You know when in the old times doctors prescribed sleep cures ? And you had to sleep for 24 hours or more. This is used in ayurvedic medicine as well, it restores the body's energetic and emotional balance, you can try meditation too. You are lovable pile 2, don't let a past relationship ruin your entire love life, you will trust again, you will be stronger than before. But you need to heal this first for you to open your heart to someone again.

I started writing this pile at 22:22 maybe you want to check that angel number.

Pile 3: 8 of wands, the hanged man.

Hi pile 3, welcome to your reading. I feel you have been doing the work to look into your past relationships and you know you need to put yourself in someone else's shows sometimes and be self critical in other circunstances. You are looking in yourself another way, a healthier way to understand the definition of love.

You don't blame the other one in the relationship anymore, you understand that we are human beings and sometimes we make mistakes, and that we can too hurt others without realizing it and the others can hurt us as well not meaning it either.

I do see a new person coming into your life, You will meet them when you have given up to something for a greater good, maybe it's a relationship, maybe it's your definition of love. I think you could meet them in a club and there is an instant connection, you won't see this coming. There is arrows of love everywhere in fact, because baybe you will be head over heals for them.

As you get to know each other you will find that this person wants to worship you like the goddess you are. They want the two of you to melt into each other in an intoxicating dance of ecstasy ( don't drinks too much alcohol) They want to lose themselves into your being they will be your supporter in everything, and should I tell you that they are well off economically ? They will spoil you pile 3.

This person could be tall, blonde, and could dye their hair to different colors. Their zodiacal sign could be saggitarius.

Letters and initials that could be important : T,G,Q,L,U.

I hope you enjoyed the readings. As a personal excuse for being off tumblr so long, I was feeling terrible and sick. But I'm back and on track again.

Hope you have an amazing day. Sending lots of love, yan 💫

Credits for the beautiful dividers to @uzmacchiato

[yandere-sins]

Stuck in the Nightmare

I really had to think about this prompt because what nightmare could be made worse by a small change? And then I remembered my Obey Me! Phase and how unsettling Barbatos always was to me. And I realized what I had to do.

Fandom: Obey Me! Pairings: Yandere!Barbatos x Reader Warnings: Yandere, Minor Sexual Content (Consensual Groping and Fondling, Mentioning of Sex) Forced Captivity, Abuse of power, Magical Stockholm Syndrom, Mention of breaking a darling, Depiction of feeling sick Prompt: @sintember Horrifying concept, thank you - A small change in the world could be a nightmare.

»»———————— ♡ ————————««

"Good morning, Dear."

Your lips curled into a sleepy smile as you felt Barbatos' lips press against your forehead, a kiss so tender it made you long for more. "Morning," you sighed blissfully, prying an eye open to see your boyfriend in all the glory of the morning sunlight shining through the window.

Moving aside, you made room in the bed for him to climb in, and you wasted no time sinking into his open embrace like you did every morning. No words were needed to speak about the happiness and love you felt when you were wrapped in Barbatos's arms, his time so precious, yet he spent every free second of it with you. And you reciprocated his affection as best as you could, squeezing your demon boyfriend until he chuckled about your efforts while you slowly worked your kisses up his throat and to his mouth.

Life's been better since you got to know him. Since you fell in love. Even if you had to spend most of the day apart due to his work, you were never happier waiting for someone to return to you. Barbatos was worth every minute of boredom, every hour of loneliness. He gave back thrice as much as you lost, wondering when he'd be home that night. Thrice as much effort, thrice as much care, and thrice the amount of true, unashamed love and adoration he held for you that you could never expect from a mere human. Although strange, you were thankful for your boyfriend being a demon, never once worried about all the implications it bore.

"What day is it?" you yawned loudly before nuzzling your face into the crook of his neck. Barbatos brushed his hand over your hair, ever so slightly pressing you against him harder, showing you once again that he wanted you close to him just as much as you, him.

"Sunday, Love. Although it pains me, I'll be busy again today."

His embrace tightened around you a bit further, and it pained you to know how awful he felt about the fact he was too important to get even a single day off. Sometimes you cursed his employer, but Barbatos, gracious as he was, told you how much he cared about the prince you had heard so much about—good and bad. That he was grateful to be the right-hand man of such a great demon. You didn't really get it, but if it made him happy, you wanted to support him, no matter what. Even when it was the last day before you'd have to go back to work, too, and you'd rather spend it with him fully than to miss him like you had all weekend long.

Squeezing him back encouragingly, you nodded into his chest before releasing a long, content breath. "It's fine," you told him, rubbing his back as you felt the tension build in his body from your reply.

"I'm really sorry—”

"It's fine, Barbs. I know this is important to you, and I'm not running away. I'll stay inside today anyway since we're not in the human world, and I have this really good book I want to finish! And we can have dinner together or go star-gazing when you get home!

Immediately upon hearing your reassurance, Barbatos let out a shuddering breath. "I can't hide anything from you. Thank you for being so understanding."

"Of course!" Letting your head fall back, you caught his gaze, so full of tenderness and love, and felt your heart swell with the same wave of emotions. The kiss you shared was worth more than any confession and any thanks—mutual understanding, trust, a silent vow.

His hands brushed down your body, over the curve of your butt, giving it a squeeze that made you giggle against his lips. You gently scolded him for getting frisky with you before he had to leave. Barbatos couldn't help the playfulness in his voice as he promised, "I'll make it up to you and get your favorite food for you before I get to have a taste of my favorite thing in the world."

"Oh, you," you retorted, but the fake annoyance was quickly diminished by another kiss, your bodies heating up wherever they touched, making it harder and harder to get away while stoking the desire inside of you.

"I really got to go," Barbatos huffed against your lips, and you hesitated before pushing on his chest to separate you both.

"Then off with you, stop seducing me in broad daylight!"

He realized you were just joking around with him, yet, with another yearning glance, he briefly pecked your lips before tearing away, leaving an uncomfortable cold where he laid.

"I'll hurry," he assured you, and you smiled, sitting up in the bed. Truthfully, you already missed him, but you knew it was important to him, and so it was important to you.

"I know, don't worry about me."

"Thank you, Love."

With one last kiss to your forehead, Barbatos grabbed his coat on the way out, waving at you with an almost boyish grin. It was a side only you got to see, a side no one would expect from mysterious Barbatos. The real, vulnerable him, he could only show you. It made you feel special. You were special.

"I love you!" you yelled after him, and before he closed the door, he stuck his head through once more, beaming.

"I love you, too."

With that, he was gone, and you were alone in his home. Falling back into the cushions, you pulled the blanket and pillows around you, still faintly smelling Barbatos on them as they enveloped you in warmth.

Who would have thought you could love someone so much, especially someone not human? Sure, it sucked being stuck alone in the Devildom, but it would all be worth it when you got him all to yourself for the whole night again. A tingle went through your body, right to your core, where you still remembered the pleasure he had given you the night before. You could still recall the gentle, loving words he had whispered into your ear while, at the same time, making you see stars by probing and teasing the most sensitive spots on your body.

He wasn't just your boyfriend you doubted you deserved; Barbatos was also a lover beyond any imagination. Thrashing in the sheets, you couldn't believe your luck that someone like Barbatos loved you. That someone so amazing, wonderful, caring, and loving was yours. Because that's what he liked to call himself.

Yours.

All yours, with body and mind, for all eternity, devoted and reverently.

Your eyes filled up as the happiness overwhelmed you, the worries and agony of the past almost forgotten in the warm sunlight of the Devildom. Barbatos told you to stay indoors unless he was with you, and you couldn't wait for the day he'd take you outside and show you his city in all its beauty. Surely, with him by your side, nothing bad would happen to you, and you two would have the most exquisite experiences.

But that was a thing for another weekend.

Today would be a wonderful day of reading and waiting. Waiting for your Barbatos to return.

Slipping out of bed, you reached for the book on your nightstand, only for your fingers to hit the wood instead of the soft cover. "Strange..." you mumbled, vividly remembering putting the book right there on the nightstand. Or did you? Why did you remember reading in it before going to bed when it wasn't there?

Did you read it?

Looking over to the coffee table, you found your book sitting there. You suddenly remembered how you were reading on the couch the night before, then Barbatos coming home and taking you to bed after you had your favorite food.

"And I was reading on the couch because... it was Sunday. Huh?"

Didn't Barbatos say today was Sunday? You usually read your book in bed throughout the week, one chapter before bed being your credo. Taking the book over to the couch was something you only did on Sundays when you had no commitments and could fully concentrate on reading.

But why did you remember putting the book on your nightstand and reading it all day yesterday at the same time? That wasn't possible. Your own memories were betraying you!

"Ow!" a sudden, sharp pain rattled in your brain as you tried to make sense of your thoughts. It made you clutch your head as you collapsed on the bed, pulling in your legs as the pain began to overwhelm you. Something was wrong! You had to call Barbatos; call for help!

But you couldn't move as images flashed before your eyes, images of you laughing with your boyfriend, reading, having your favorite food. Again and again and again. The image of you putting the book on your nightstand was the most off-putting but real one you saw. You had no idea what was going on, but it hurt terribly. You couldn't even open your eyes from the pain, so all you could do was pray.

Barbatos's name was the last thing falling from your lips as you were knocked out by your own thoughts—your own memories. Memories of many days having passed by, all of them the exact same. And they haunted you, even in your dreams, with no chance of waking up without the man who loved you to shake you awake. Telling you everything was okay and it was just a bad dream.

Stuck in your own nightmares, never knowing you had been for a long, long time.

»»———————— ♡ ————————««

"The how-many-Sunday is it today?"

"I'm sorry?" Barbatos looked up from the teacup he was pouring, only to find Diavolo watching him from beyond the rim of the report he was holding. The prince's eyes were sharp, almost unamused in how they scrutinized his butler.

"You heard me." Lowering the paper, Diavolo made space for the tea to be served, which Barbatos did without hesitation. "This new exchange student project is based on trust with the other races. How can I explain why I let my butler keep his personal human toy in a constant time loop, locked up forever in my castle, while I preach about harmony and equality? And besides, don't you think they need some time in the real sun for once? I heard it's bad for humans to be cooped up for so long. Longer than possible with their physic, at least."

"Young Master, you are mistaken. The human is my partner, we love each other. Nothing as sinister as you are hinting at is happening."

"Then why repeat the same day over and over? Do you really think I wouldn't know what the constant thrumming of magic in the room I have given you on your request to 'educate the staff' is? I'd wager to say we've known each other long enough to know about each other's dirty secrets, Barbatos."

Standing before him, Barbatos maintained his perfect posture and pristine look, paired with a smile on his face, as he watched his master sip from the tea he had prepared. "Very well, my lord. You are not entirely mistaken, although I must say..."

Tapping his chin thoughtfully, Barbatos pretended to think about something before the smile returned to his lips. A smile said more than a thousand words, and although he only wanted you to see his, Barbatos had to keep up the front.

"If we are talking about preferential treatment, shouldn't you be the first one to give up on their highness, the consort that none of your subjects know about? I feel unfairly judged, considering my amusement loves and adores me, while yours plays the part but fears you. Don't you think we'd be better off keeping these two our own responsibility?"

Diavolo's glare was deafening as the room fell into silence. He'd expected the blowback, although his concern for Barbatos's darling was justified after his own experiences. Lowering the teacup, he sighed, giving a short nod of defeat. A wise ruler knew when to back down, and although the circumstances hadn't been ideal, his beloved was the reason he wanted to unite the races in the first place

"Very well, I won't nag you," Diavolo announced. "Just make sure they don't realize the time loop, or else you know the mess it will cause. We've been through this. Sometimes, it's better not to pretend the world is fine. If they truly love you as you say, they'll love you regardless, even when they realize that the love of a demon can be overwhelming."

"61685."

"Hm?"

"That's how many days they've loved me. I loved them. This time, I won't fail my duties, Young Master. At least, not how I have to you."

Barbatos bowed, as Diavolo couldn't help the sad smile flitting over his face, remembering the wonderful days when his darling had still adored him, never knowing they were stuck in a repeat.

"Then, be careful, Barbatos. One small mistake, and they'll realize nothing was ever real. You better not fail... for their sake."

Taking the advice of the experienced prince, Barbatos returned to his righteous posture, smiling as if the conversation had been petty small talk. The life of a demon was long—it was longer when they were alone. But now that he had you, he'd never have to suffer the same loneliness that had driven so many of his kin mad.

"I will, Young Master. Thank you for the advice."

He didn't pity Diavolo, who had long lost his heart to the most pitiful of creatures—a human who realized the true monstrosity beneath the prince's forced gentleness. But Barbatos wouldn't let it come to this a second time. Wouldn't make the same mistake Diavolo had, misplacing one item which managed to break the spell. He had been too careful, too precise this time.

He wouldn't lose you to such a small mistake, and even if he did...

He'd keep you forever, even if that meant breaking your soul into a thousand pieces until only his love could keep you together.

[dreamingofthewild]

100 Bloodweave Fanfic recommendations

As there are over 3,000 Bloodweave fanfics, I have been wanting to do a fanfic rec list for a while. To share some of the works I enjoyed and to offer support for the talented writers in the fandom. I opted for 100, as it is a nice number for a rec list. It was very hard to narrow it down, and there are many good fics that, unfortunately, didn't make it too the list. This is not meant as a 'Top 100' list.

The recommendations will be shared in 6 parts over 6 days as it is too much for one post and I don't want to overwhelm the tag.

Part 1: In Universe Canon Multi-Chapter - 15 fics.

I'd Burn Through the World by thisis_V. Ongoing. Slow Burn, Angst, Hurt/Comfort. Follows the events of the game as Gale Origin. A very canon exploration of Gale and Astarion's relationship throughout the game. One I would recommend to those who do not understand Bloodweave. Includes original art from the author.

Burn out Fade Away by Newperspective20. 112,500 words. Slow Burn, Time Travel. Astarion ascends, Tav takes control of the brain, and Gale sacrifices himself to save everyone from being under Tav’s control. Only he finds himself back at square one. Will he be able to change the course of fate this time?

Stitches, Threads, and the Strings that Bind us Together by Newperspective20. 136,235 words. Hurt/Comfort, Smut, Fluff. The events of the game as Astarion Origin as he learns that not everyone is out to get him.

Ash and Stardust by badmarilyn. Ongoing. Slow Burn, Trauma, Hurt/Comfort, Mutual Pining. When the orb starts to play up, Gale is forced to confide in Astarion. They start to gravitate towards each other, realising they’re more alike than they originally thought.

Broken Together by sparklypanda98. 61,872 words. Slow Burn, Fluff, Angst. A long-form Bloodweave fic about Astarion and Gale's relationship forming during the events of Baldur's Gate 3. Plenty of fluff, but some darker stuff too.

Your Echo in My Scars by shadesofmidnightsun. 76,421 words. Angst With a Happy Ending, Suicidal Thoughts, Smut. Astarion needs blood and protection. Gale just ... needs. They're both full of cracks. Where Gale and Astarion each have their own mess to work through. Will they make each other better?

Ancient Books and Horror Stories by eternalscout. 107,796 words. Slow Burn, Canon Typical Violence, Backstory Relevant Themes. What starts as a tentative friendship between Gale and Astarion, bonding over a shared love of reading, turns into the alarming realization that they may just have caught feelings for each other.

Through the Fire Together by Aria_Lerendeair. 16,646 words. Angst, Healing Together, Falling In Love. After defeating Cazador and releasing the Spawn to the Underdark, Astarion finds himself in the graveyard, waiting for whatever retribution they want to visit upon him after what he did to them.

Old Wives Tales by neo7v. 8,030 words. Mystra related content warnings. This fic explores the exploitative and grooming nature of Mystra’s relationship with Gale.

If the Cross on the Door Doesn't Scare You by Aylwyyn228. 19,113 words. Hurt/Comfort, Starvation, Found Family. Astarion gets outed as a vampire in the shadow-cursed lands. 

embracing the sun by vannral. 16,095 words. Mutual Pining, Friendships, Smut. In which people see whatever That is between Astarion and Gale and wonder. Meanwhile Astarion and Gale are oblivious. Set during Act 3.

Stop Kicking Gale (Please) by Yassha. Ongoing series. Hurt, Comfort, Fluff, Backstory Relevant Themes. AU where Astarion gets to process his emotions a bit earlier, and Gale is a bit more volatile, and those two things match up quite well.

Keep To The Shadows (your light can’t reach me there) by beepbeepsan. Denial of Feelings, Flirting. Trapped between a rock and, well, more rocks, Astarion has nowhere to run from Gale and his own feelings. But damned if he won't do his best to find a way out.

Bliss and Ignorance by ultranerdyandiknowit. 17,195 words. Dubious Consent, Hurt, Comfort, Angst, Misunderstandings. While sharing a moment of intimacy in the Shadowlands, Gale gives into the temptation to read Astarion's mind. He wants to feel their pleasure shared, to feel it amplified.

What he finds when he opens the link is nothing short of horrifying.

Shades of Romance by ClaireinSorcia. 139,829 words. Romance, Fluff, Getting Together, Drama, Backtory Relevant Themes. Astarion’s always been a flirt, so what happens when the new victim of his attentions, Gale, falls for it and takes it seriously? With Tav having turned Astarion down it should be fun to see how far this game can play out. But then what will Astarion do when he catches feelings he doesn’t even understand?

Part 2: In Universe Canon One-Shots - 17 fics.

Part 3: In Universe Canon Divergent - 16 fics.

Part 4: In Universe Post-Canon Multi-Chapter - 20 fics. 

Part 5: In Universe Post-Canon One Shots - 14 fics. 

Part 6: Alternate Universe - 18 fics.

[pnutbutter-n-j-elyy]

𝚃𝚑𝚎𝚒𝚛 𝙵𝚒𝚛𝚜𝚝 𝙺𝚒𝚜𝚜 𝚆𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚈𝚘𝚞| Changbin|Hyunjin

~ X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X ~

Changbin’s relationship with you is one marked by intense passion and a deep emotional connection. His approach to love is as dynamic and driven as his approach to everything else in life. There is a powerful, almost magnetic pull between the two of you that can be felt in every interaction, from the way he looks at you to the way he holds you close. In your relationship, his passion manifests in the form of heated and fervent kisses that leave you breathless, much like the first kiss you shared at the gym. He isn’t shy about showing his affection, and his feelings for you are always evident in his touch, his words, and his actions. His hands, whether on your waist or gently tracing the contours of your body, convey a sense of possessiveness mixed with deep care and love. He thrives on the energy and intensity of your connection, often finding himself drawn to spontaneous displays of affection; his love always expressed in ways that leave a lasting impression. Despite his bold and sometimes overwhelming passion, Changbin is also deeply respectful and attentive to your needs and feelings. He listens carefully, always making sure that his actions align with your comfort levels. He has a knack for knowing when to push the boundaries of his affection and when to hold back, creating a balance that makes you feel cherished and valued. Your relationship is built on mutual support and encouragement. He sees you as his equal, someone who pushes him to be better and who he can rely on during challenging times. His compliments, like calling you beautiful even when you’re sweaty from a workout, are genuine and heartfelt, reflecting his deep appreciation for who you are inside and out. In essence, being with Changbin means being enveloped in a whirlwind of passionate, heartfelt moments that are always grounded in mutual respect and unwavering support. His love is intense and all-consuming, yet always considerate, creating a dynamic and fulfilling relationship that keeps you both constantly engaged and deeply connected.

The gym was quiet, with the evening drawing to a close and the last few patrons finishing up their workouts. You and Changbin had decided to stay quite a bit later, pushing each other through an intense session that left you both sweating and breathless.

There was something about the vibe of a late-night workout that invigorated you; so when you had officially started dating Changbin a week ago, you were slightly grateful that the only choice you had was late nights; lest you risk the chances of allowing people to see you and Changbin before JYPE released the news of your relationship.

The dim lights and the faint hum of the air conditioning created a serene, almost intimate atmosphere. The owner of the small gym waved at you as they locked up, telling Changbin the keys to lock the back door were in the same place as usual.

You guys tended to stretch together and do a few different things side by side, go off on your own, and then come back together to cool down.

You were seated on a bench, taking a break and sipping water while waiting as Changbin finished his final set. His determination and focus were admirable, and you couldn’t help but feel a surge of affection as you watched him. Despite the intensity of the workout, there was something undeniably attractive about his dedication and the way he carried himself.

In the gym, in his career, and in his newfound relationship with you.

Changbin wiped the sweat from his brow and walked over to you, his breathing heavy but a satisfied smile on his face. "You did great today," he said, dropping onto the bench beside you. "Proud of you." He grabbed the bottle from you hand and you watched his throat work as he drank back the half you had saved for him.

You smiled back, feeling a warm rush of pride at his words. "Thanks, Bin. Although, you're the expert here."

He chuckled, reaching for his water bottle. "You always push me to do better. I appreciate that." He grabbed a towel and used it to pat his head and neck, beads of sweat dripping down towards his naked collarbone. You couldn't help but be fascinated by it; something drew you to the sight, like when you were a kid and used to race water droplets on the car window.

As you both caught your breath, a comfortable silence settled between you. The gym felt like a private sanctuary, just the two of you sharing a moment of camaraderie and mutual respect. You glanced at Changbin, noticing the way his eyes seemed to linger on you, a thoughtful expression on his face.

"Do I have something on my face?" you asked playfully, wiping at your cheek. You were sweaty, the heel of your hand coming back slick.

Changbin laughed, shaking his head. "No, you’re just… really beautiful right now." He laughed once more and hid his face by looking down and shaking his head slightly.

Beautiful?

His words caught you off guard, and you felt a blush creeping up your cheeks. Before you could respond, Changbin looked up and leaned in closer, his eyes locking onto yours.

There was an intensity in his gaze, a mix of admiration and something deeper, something you couldn’t quite place.

"Can I…" he started, his voice trailing off as he hesitated. But instead of finishing his sentence, he moved with sudden determination.

His lips met yours in a kiss that was passionate and heated, a burst of emotion that took away the breath you had just gained.

The kiss was electric, a surge of intensity that matched the energy of your workout.

He tasted salty; his lips coated in sweat and a slight citrusy tang from the electrolyte packet you had snuck in your water.

His hands found their way to your waist, pulling you closer as he deepened the kiss. It was a bit messy, with your sweaty faces and the heat of the moment, but it was perfect in its raw, unfiltered passion.

As your lips moved together, you could feel the depth and complexity of Changbin’s feelings, the way he poured his heart into every touch and caress.

You could feel it. Changbin putting in 110%, just like he did with everything else.

A moment later, he pulled back slightly, his breathing ragged as he looked at you with a mix of desire and affection. "I had to hold back during the workout," he admitted, his voice low and husky.

You smiled, your heart racing. "Next time don't; it's not like there is anyone else here."

He grinned, his eyes shining with happiness. "Good, because I don’t plan on it next time."

Before you could respond, he leaned in again, capturing your lips in another kiss, this one slower and more deliberate. His hands roamed your back, tracing the contours of your body with a gentle but firm touch.

You could feel the sweat on your skin mingling with his, adding to the intensity of the moment. Subconsciously having the urge to shower, but realizing you'd do this over and over again even if that meant taking 100 showers.

You realized that kissing Changbin was something special. His kisses were kisses that spoke volumes, conveying everything he felt for you without needing to say a single thing.

It was something you would get addicted to easily, if not already.

Eventually, you both pulled back, breathless and smiling. Changbin’s forehead rested against yours, his eyes closed as he savored the closeness.

"I guess our workout just got a whole lot more interesting," you said, laughing softly.

Changbin chuckled, his eyes opening to meet yours. "Yeah, and I think we just found a new way to cool down."

"Bin...feel my pulse I'm pretty sure it's a warmup."

"Mm...but if we make it a warm up and a cool down then that means we can kiss twice every workout." He holds his index and middle finger up as a visual.

You let out a breath. "Binnie...I don't think we'll get any workouts done at this rate."

He hummed in thought. "I disagree. It'll be motivation...and if not motivation I'm sure there are other things we can make our new workout-"

You threw your towel at your boyfriend as you stood up with an exasperated sigh.

"Ahhh, it was a joke Jagiiiiiyyyaaaaa." He whined.

You couldn't help but smile as you walked towards the locker room to grab your stuff, Changbin jumping up to follow you.

"Bunny, it was a joke." He whined, thinking you were actually mad at him.

You turned and kissed him again, something short and soft and sweet.

His confident demeanor quickly changed, his face red and the witty response he had quickly turning into gibberish.

"Warm-up, cool down, and maybe a mid-workout incentive okay?" You said winking.

All he could do was nod as he went to go grab his keys.

(xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx)

Hyunjin's love is akin to an intricate piece of art, filled with layers of emotion, careful brushstrokes, and vivid, unforgettable moments. His approach to relationships mirrors his artistic sensibilities: he seeks depth, beauty, and a connection that transcends the ordinary. His love is expressive, passionate, and sometimes a bit dramatic, but always deeply heartfelt. With Hyunjin, every moment is carefully crafted, as if he is painting a masterpiece. He puts thought and effort into every detail, whether it's planning a date or expressing his feelings. His affection is intense and often poetic, with gestures that might seem grandiose to others but are deeply meaningful to him. He sees the world through a lens of beauty and emotion, and he wants to share that vision with you. His love is a canvas where every kiss, touch, and words add color and texture, creating a unique portrait of your relationship. He desires a connection that is not just felt but seen and experienced in every sense. But art isn't always as perfectly executed as the artist expects it to be. Sometimes they paint outside the lines, muddling their work. But trust in the end that everything will come together beautifully.

The day had been perfect - almost too perfect.

You and Hyunjin had spent the afternoon wandering through art galleries, admiring the paintings and sculptures that filled the rooms with color and life.

You had held his hand as you strolled past countless masterpieces.

Art had never been your forte per say, but ever since you had started a relationship with Hyunjin, you couldn't help but develop a love for the area of life your boyfriend had found so much joy and peace in.

To say Hyunjin had been in his element would have been an understatement; it physically hurt your heart because how much admiration and love filled it as you watched him, his eyes lighting up as he explained the finer points of different pieces, his passion for art shining through every word.

Your loved for him had come in like a thief, unexpected and quiet- but instantly recognizable when in sight.

You had never been in love like this before. Two weeks, but you were already assured that Hyunjin was your forever.

And Hyunjin thought the same unbeknownst to you, and was freaking out all day due to his plans to have his first kiss with you.

You found yourselves in his apartment, surrounded by his own works of art. The walls were lined with canvases, each one telling its own story.

Hyunjin's art had been something that you loved, and once you had the courage to ask him for one piece, the urge he had to give you every piece he made had never left him. To the point that you had filled up almost an entire wall in your small office space the last two weeks you had been together.

The room was bathed in the soft glow of warm lighting, creating a cozy, intimate atmosphere that made everything feel even more surreal.

He had some cozy candle burning, and even though it was the middle of Summer, it felt like winter to you.

It only made you want to snuggle up and drink coco with him.

You smiled at the thought of what your guy's first Christmas would be like.

As Hyunjin was mulling over the thought of your first kiss.

He had been thinking about this moment for weeks. The idea of your first kiss had played over and over in his mind, each version more elaborate than the last. He wanted it to be perfect- no, more than perfect. He wanted it to be unforgettable, a moment that would make your heart race and your breath catch in your throat.

As you stood in front of one of his paintings, admiring the delicate brushstrokes and the way the colors seemed to dance together, Hyunjin found himself unable to focus on anything other than you. His mind was racing, filled with thoughts of how to make this moment everything you deserved. Should he lean in slowly? Should he say something poetic before he kissed you? Should he just go for it and hope for the best?

Since when was kissing someone hard?

He approached you quietly, his heart pounding in his chest. He was slightly taller than you, so his head was above yours. His palms felt a little sweaty, and he quickly wiped them on his jeans, not wanting to make things more awkward than they needed to be.

He placed his chin on the top of your head. "You know," he began, his voice soft and a little nervous, "I’ve always thought that art is the purest way to express what words can’t."

His words vibrated against your head and it was slightly ticklish. His arms weren't even around you but you felt engulfed by him, as if he had pulled you flush to his chest in a hug.

You turned to look at him, your eyes meeting his. There was something in your gaze that made his stomach flip - a mix of curiosity, affection, and something else he couldn’t quite place.

"I can see that," your voice was light, sweet. As sweet as Hyunjin imagined your lips would be. You offered him a smile that made his heart palpitate once more. "Your work is amazing, Hyunjin. I think...it helps me understand you more. Know you more. And that's all I want to do."

His lips upturned at your words, but his smile felt shaky. He was trying to stay calm, trying to play it cool, but inside, he was a mess of nerves.

He wanted to kiss you so badly, to make this moment as perfect as he had imagined, but the fear of messing it up was gnawing at him.

Just do it. Hwang Hyunjin just do it.

He took a deep breath, trying to steady himself. "There’s… something I’ve been thinking about," he said, his voice barely above a whisper. His heart was racing now, each beat echoing in his ears. "I’ve been wanting to…"

You had turned back to look out the window after something had caught you eye, but when he spoke you turned back to him again.

Although that wasn't the best move because-

Before he could finish his sentence, he found himself leaning in, almost on autopilot. His mind was screaming at him to be careful, to make this moment perfect, but his body had already decided that now was the time.

He was aiming for his lips to brush against yours in a tentative kiss, slow and sultry, the kind he had always imagined would leave you breathless.

For a split second, he believed everything was perfect. Your lips were going to be soft, warm, and the kiss would feel like something out of a dream.

But in his eagerness, Hyunjin moved too quickly, his trajectory straight towards your lips and his mouth a bit too open for a kiss. That paired with you turning to him rather quickly your forehead smacked into Hyunjin's nose with a loud crack and his teeth clashed against your lips awkwardly.

The sound of it the impact felt almost deafening in the quiet room, and you both immediately pulled back, mortified.

Your eyes widened as you immediately rushed to see if you had broken Hyunjin's nose- as a small smudge of blood was on his face.

"Oh my word, Hyunjin I'm so sorry! Did I break your nose?" You were stuck between rubbing your head, or placing your hand over Hyunjin's- which was holding his nose gingerly.

His face turned bright red as he stared at you, his mind racing with thoughts of how badly he had just messed up what was supposed to be the perfect first kiss. "Oh my god," he stammered, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. He squeezed his eyes shut and groaned in embarrassment. "That was… I didn’t mean for that to happen. I’m so sorry."

What an entirely royal fuck up that was.

"Is your nose okay? I didn't realize you were so near my face."

"I was trying to kiss you." His voice was laced with shame and guilt. And heavily seasoned with embarrassment. "And my nose his fine." He opened his eyes and they zoned in on your lips. "The blood is coming from your lip. Are you okay? Did I hurt you?"

"I'm okay, it's just a nick." You said licking the small bead of blood off your lip. Hyunjin groaned again, his face still warm.

You couldn’t help but laugh, the awkwardness of the moment breaking the tension. The sound of your laughter was like music to Hyunjin’s ears, and even though he was still dying of embarrassment, he was happy that you weren't upset. "It’s okay," you reassured him, your eyes crinkling with amusement. "Really, it’s fine. It was still perfect."

He let out a shaky laugh, still feeling the sting of his mistake. "I don’t know about perfect," he muttered, but there was a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips. "I wanted it to be like… you know, one of those movie moments, but I guess I’m not as smooth as I thought. I mean I didn't even like... kiss you."

You reached out, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him down to your level. "Well, I can assure you I did in fact feel your lips on mine for like .02 seconds. They were warm and taste like mint." Hyunjin instinctively licked his lips - as if to confirm the taste of the chapstick he had put on while you weren't looking earlier.

Mint.

"And It was perfect because it was real," you said softly, your voice filled with warmth, as you pulled your boyfriend even close to you. "We don’t need a movie moment. This is our moment."

Hyunjin felt his heart swell at your words, the embarrassment starting to fade away. He looked into your eyes, feeling that same intense connection that had drawn him to you in the first place. "Can we… try that again?" he asked, his voice still a little uncertain, but there was determination in his eyes.

You nodded, and this time, Hyunjin took a moment to steady himself. He moved closer, his hands gently cupping your face as he leaned in again. The kiss was slower this time, more controlled, but it was still filled with the same depth of emotion he had intended to convey earlier. His lips moved against yours with a newfound confidence, the previous mishap only adding to the sweetness of the moment.

And the taste of your lips as well. He was right. They were as sweet as your voice. Possibly the sweetest thing he had ever tasted.

As the kiss deepened, Hyunjin felt like the world around him had melted away. It was just the two of you now, wrapped up in each other, and the connection between you was undeniable. His hands slid down to your waist, pulling you closer as he poured everything he felt into the kiss.

But even in this perfect moment, Hyunjin’s artistic mind couldn’t help but notice the little details—the way your lips tasted faintly of the snack you’d been eating earlier - possibly contributing to the sweet taste - the soft sound of your breath mingling with his, the way your fingers tightened in his hair.

Keep it long Hwang. He told himself.

It was these tiny, imperfect details that made the moment feel so incredibly real and raw, like a painting that had come to life.

When you finally pulled away, both of you were a little breathless, your foreheads resting against each other’s. Hyunjin smiled, a genuine, heartfelt expression that lit up his face. "Okay," he whispered, still a little out of breath. "Maybe that wasn’t perfect in the traditional sense, but… I think I like it better this way."

You smiled back, your eyes shining with affection. "Me too," you whispered.

@abovenyx @wolfs-archive @oddracha @iyeeeverydee @parisanmorovati @seungmincenteric

@panbish-1209 @fxiry-vtt @sseawavee

@shuporanporang @amarecerasus @softkisshyunjin

@whoa-jo @meanergreener @rikibun

@ayyonoona @shinywombatcrusade @y4yayael

@skzstan12345 @mariteez @allys-reads

@jazziwritesthings @skzstannie @yongbokkiesworld

@kkkeopi @neverendingstay @moony-9

@minsungsthirdwheel @everlastingspring143

@joyofbebbanburg

@leezanetheofficial

[glendasguidance-inactive]

🪽spiritual guidance for you! - pick an emoji🪽

You got a burtiful spurit ♡☻☁︎☾

Cuz at the end of the day, the day gotta end. - Glorilla <3

₊˚ʚᗢ₊˚✧ﾟhow to pick // disclaimers ✧˚ ༘ ⋆｡♡˚

Pick an emoji to receive a message from a collection of my favorite spiritual lessons, quotes, and phrases I'm sharing from my Pinterest board 📌

🐢🧰🧑🏾‍🎨✂️🫨🔄🪁🌸❤️‍🔥✊

Inhale & exhale 3x, now pick

★ free readings ★ support me ★ other pac's ★

Pile 1 🐢

twitter user @robynsquill - You need to be slowmaxing. You need to be reading long, fat books. You need to be making 48-hour chocolate chip cookies. You need to spend hours watching wildlife, you need to spend 15+ min making your coffee. You need to breathe in and breathe out. You need to be slowwwww.

✦ ⎯⎯ㅤִㅤ୭ ୨♡୧ ৎㅤִ ⎯⎯ ✦ ✦ ⎯⎯ㅤִㅤ୭ ୨♡୧ ৎㅤִ ⎯⎯ ✦

Pile 2 🧰

The point of spirituality isn't to just act like everything is pretty & positive all the time, and like everything will always just work out. The point is to give you the tools to turn complex situations into opportunities and empower you to work through the heavy emotions you face in your daily life in a healthy, productive way.

✦ ⎯⎯ㅤִㅤ୭ ୨♡୧ ৎㅤִ ⎯⎯ ✦ ✦ ⎯⎯ㅤִㅤ୭ ୨♡୧ ৎㅤִ ⎯⎯ ✦

Pile 3 🧑🏾‍🎨

"The function, the very serious function of racism, is distraction. It keeps you from doing your work. It keeps you explaining, over and over again, your reason for being. Somebody says you have no language, so you spend twenty years proving that you do. Somebody says your head isn't shaped properly, so you have scientists working on the fact that it is. Someone says you have no art, so you dredge that up. Somebody says you have no kingdoms, so you dredge that up. None of that is necessary. There will always be one more thing." -Toni Morrison

✦ ⎯⎯ㅤִㅤ୭ ୨♡୧ ৎㅤִ ⎯⎯ ✦ ✦ ⎯⎯ㅤִㅤ୭ ୨♡୧ ৎㅤִ ⎯⎯ ✦

Pile 4 ✂️

CORD CUTTING MANTRA by MoonMagick - I release you with a full heart, with love for the place you once held in my life. May you be happy in the life you have chosen. I now take back all the energy that has been taken from me or that I have given away and I return the energy that I still hold from you. May I be free from the ties that bind us. May all cords be cut, transmuted and dissolved. May all energy return to its original sender with power, peace and forgiveness. I ask that this is complete and sealed now. So it is.

✦ ⎯⎯ㅤִㅤ୭ ୨♡୧ ৎㅤִ ⎯⎯ ✦ ✦ ⎯⎯ㅤִㅤ୭ ୨♡୧ ৎㅤִ ⎯⎯ ✦

Pile 5 🫨

Everything changes when you start to emit your own frequency rather than absorbing the frequencies around you, when you start imprinting your intent on the universe rather than receiving an imprint from existence.

✦ ⎯⎯ㅤִㅤ୭ ୨♡୧ ৎㅤִ ⎯⎯ ✦ ✦ ⎯⎯ㅤִㅤ୭ ୨♡୧ ৎㅤִ ⎯⎯ ✦

Pile 6 🔄

It's not for us to have shame, it's for them. - Gisele Pelicot

✦ ⎯⎯ㅤִㅤ୭ ୨♡୧ ৎㅤִ ⎯⎯ ✦ ✦ ⎯⎯ㅤִㅤ୭ ୨♡୧ ৎㅤִ ⎯⎯ ✦

Pile 7 🪁

Life got sweeter when I realized the magic behind childhood wasn't because I was a child, it was because I was present.

✦ ⎯⎯ㅤִㅤ୭ ୨♡୧ ৎㅤִ ⎯⎯ ✦ ✦ ⎯⎯ㅤִㅤ୭ ୨♡୧ ৎㅤִ ⎯⎯ ✦

Pile 8 🌸

There may be more beautiful times, but this one is ours. - Jean-Paul Sarte

✦ ⎯⎯ㅤִㅤ୭ ୨♡୧ ৎㅤִ ⎯⎯ ✦ ✦ ⎯⎯ㅤִㅤ୭ ୨♡୧ ৎㅤִ ⎯⎯ ✦

Pile 9 ❤️‍🔥

"It isn't courageous of modern women to run away from emotion and love. It is cowardice." - Sinead O Connor

✦ ⎯⎯ㅤִㅤ୭ ୨♡୧ ৎㅤִ ⎯⎯ ✦ ✦ ⎯⎯ㅤִㅤ୭ ୨♡୧ ৎㅤִ ⎯⎯ ✦

Pile 10 ✊

"Once we stop searching for approval we often gain respect" - Gloria Steinem

♥︎ much love - Glenda ♥︎

♣︎★ mutual aid LA -★- mutual aid disaster relief -★- how to create a mutual aid network -★- worldwide mask bloc -★- eSIMs for Gaza -★- mutual aid Gaza ★♠︎

dividers: click here and here and here // I do not consent to my writing, blog’s likeness, or anything associated with my work, to be used to train any machine learning software and artificial intelligence for any purpose.

[seekers-who-are-lovers]

Because today is the airing of the first episode of the Emerald Witch arc, Animate released a write-up about Rie Kugumiya and Chikahiro Kobayashi about recording in German language and Siggy and Wolfram’s relationship compared to Sebastian and Ciel’s tried and tested one. These are only selected passages. (Note: Roughly translated from an app, so please be aware of some differences.)

──We heard that there are scenes spoken in German in the production. How was that?

Kugimiya: It was incredibly difficult! It was a unique experience. The moment the teacher taught us the pronunciation in our ears, we had to immediately put it into the mic because we could only remember it for such a short time. In fact, there was a day dedicated just to recording in German...

Kobayashi: It took longer than the main part.

Kugimiya: The actors with German lines all gathered, and the teacher was with us the whole time during the recording. Well, even though we say teacher, it was actually one of the actors (laughs).

Kobayashi: It was Wataru Komada. Because he was an actor, he specifically guided us on where to put the emotion and how to express it, standing next to us and teaching with a "One, two, three!" approach, which was a great help.

Kugimiya: Really! In the end, in the studio, phrases like "Danke (thank you)" and "Ja! (yes!)" became trendy (laughs).

Kobayashi: Exactly! Everyone wanted to say the things they knew, like "Ja! Ja! Ja!" (laughs).

Kugimiya: Ja! Ja! Ja! (Laughs). In the end, that's the only part that stayed with me (laughs).

Kobayashi: Everyone said random things, and not much stayed with me as knowledge (laughs).

In your message at the time of the cast announcement, you mentioned, “There is a different atmosphere between Sebastian and Ciel, and the difference in the atmosphere between the two pairs is good.” Specifically, where did you feel the difference?

Kobayashi: Wolfram and Sullivan are still in development and not yet complete, but they appear very refined. In contrast, Sebastian and Ciel have developed a longstanding trust and mutual utilization relationship. Sullivan shows great interest in this maturely developed Sebastian, telling Wolfram, "You should learn too!" However, Wolfram feels jealous about it.

It seems like they are learning the "butler and master relationship" from Sebastian and Ciel. The relationship, which is of a completely different type, feels very endearing. However, I also feel that there is no need to forcefully aim to achieve the completed relationship like Sebastian and Ciel.

─What are your thoughts on these two types of master-servant relationships, Ms. Kugimiya?

Kugimiya: I feel deeply that Wolfram is watching over and supporting with great affection, but his approach is somewhat simple. Listening to the current story, I thought, "Perhaps whatever Sullivan hasn't taught Wolfram, Wolfram doesn't know, so he can't teach it either."

Sebastian, on the other hand, is sophisticated in everything, with a gentle yet strict manner, saying, "Knowledge is not a burden, so it's good to know," guiding you along the way. He teaches, "It's embarrassing not to know this. As a lady," leading and guiding in that aspect. I feel the way Wolfram and Sebastian are is completely different. If anything, I get the sense that Wolfram would probably listen to everything Sullivan says.

Kobayashi: Ah, that's right.

Kugimiya: On the other hand, I feel that Sebastian is the kind of butler who elevates his master, saying, "A master should be like this."

For Sullivan, it's such a new concept that it makes him excited and increases his thirst for knowledge, making him think, "I want to know more about this new world!" However, he also loves Wolfram, who is simple, warm, and gentle. They are completely different, but I think both of them are really wonderful.

Also, it seems like Sullivan might think, "He can't do without me," in relation to Wolfram. Although Wolfram completely protects Sullivan as an adult, I feel there might be parts where, surprisingly, Sullivan is the one who mentally supports Wolfram.

Another article is focused on both butlers, S and Wolfram. Daisuke Ono has an interesting revelation on this arc.

Ono: If the "Boarding School Arc" is very colorful and pop, expressing the brighter parts of "Black Butler," then the "Emerald Witch Arc" emphasizes the dark, heavy, and serious aspects of "Black Butler." I love bright stories, but when it comes to "Black Butler," I especially enjoy the darker stories. In the "Green Witch Arc," there are some memorable scenes between Sebastian and Ciel, and as a performer, I was eager to play them. When I found out it would be animated, I was delighted, thinking, "I get to perform that scene!"

Kobayashi: You were performing with that kind of passion.

Ono: For me, it was a reward.

And of course the struggle with German language.

A while ago, there was a mention of German, but how was the actual recording?

Ono: Sebastian has had numerous opportunities to speak languages other than Japanese, such as French and Latin. Additionally, because he is a butler, there is a very high standard set for him to perform everything perfectly. I approach each session with the intention of producing foreign language sounds in Sebastian's tone, not just simply voicing them, so I'm always desperately trying my best.

― It's a dilemma because Sebastian is perfect...!

Ono: For this reason, I am grateful to have professionals teaching and supervising me each time. This time, (voice actor) Wataru Komada, who is from Germany, supervised the German language for us. What I received from him, as someone working in the same voice acting field, was not just about vocalizing but also adding emotion and intensity to it. That made it surprisingly easier than just tracing the sound. Even though German was difficult as a language, it might have been the easiest among the foreign languages I've spoken so far.

Wow!

Ono: When I spoke in German, Komada-kun praised me saying, “Ono-san’s voice suits German! It balances pressure and elegance, which is very German-like.” I got extremely carried away. “Well, yeah,” I said (laughs).

Kobayashi: You got carried away (laughs).

Ono: But, I was really happy. Being taught by someone native made me realize that if you put passion into it, it can be conveyed.

Kobayashi: My German part was just a word or two, but Komada-kun stood next to me and kindly taught me, saying, “If you produce a dirtier, more muffled sound than the one you’re making now, it’ll sound more German.” I just parroted Komada-kun and did the German part (laughs). Thank you so much, Professor Komada! I’m full of gratitude.

Ono: I thought Wolfram’s “Ja” was really good while I was listening. Komada-kun also listened to Yoshihiro-kun’s performance and said, “Ja, ja, ja.”

Kobayashi: During that recording, everyone was saying, “Ja, ja” (laughs).

I think I can relate. 😈

[soolh1k]

hi, could you write skz accidentally making you cry?

Skz accidentally making you cry

notes: english is not my first language so apologies for any misspelling or grammar. i hope u like it !! :)))

type: narrated text

genre: angst w fluff

WARNINGS: swearing, a little bit angsty but some fluff at the end, let me know if you'd like to be tagged !! :))

.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ

დ Bang Christopher

You're at home, eagerly waiting for your boyfriend to return from work. It's been an exhausting day for both of you, but you know you need his support and company to alleviate the built-up stress. Finally, you hear the door open, and your boyfriend enters the room, visibly tired and worried.

You approach him with a smile and give him a warm hug. However, as you embrace him, you can sense the tension in his body. You look at him with concern and ask how his day has been. Your boyfriend lets out a heavy sigh and simply glares at you annoyed. With that look, you knew that things hadn't gone well for him at work.

You understand work-related stress perfectly and try to encourage him, telling him that he's doing a great job and that everything will work out. As you try to uplift him, your boyfriend vents his frustrations, and unintentionally, his tone of voice becomes harsher than usual. The words that come out of his mouth are those of someone frustrated and exhausted, catching you off guard.

"I'm so tired, you know? I'd rather you give me some space, please."

"I know, Chris, but you can always talk to me when you feel like this. That's why I'm here."

"I already know that, but I don't want you around. Your presence annoys me. I just want to be alone, okay? Why do you always make things so difficult? It's like you never understand me, woman. Just go away. I don't want to see you."

"Chris, do you hear yourself? You're being very rude. I understand that you're stressed, but that doesn't give you the right to speak to me like that."

"Just shut up, my god. Your voice is so annoying. If you don't like how I'm acting, why don't you just leave? I told you I want to be alone. Do you not have a brain to comprehend that? Please, go away."

The words deeply impact your sensitivity, and you feel hurt. Sadness clouds your face, and tears start welling up in your eyes. You try to remain calm, but the combination of your boyfriend's stress and the emotional intensity accumulated throughout the day becomes overwhelming.

Realizing that he has hurt your feelings, your boyfriend abruptly stops and looks at you with remorse. His eyes fill with concern and guilt as he sees your tears. Immediately, he sincerely apologizes and embraces you tightly, trying to console you and explaining that he never intended to hurt you in any way.

"Forgive me, my god, I'm an idiot," tears start streaming down his eyes too.

"I didn't mean to talk to you like that. You know stress consumes me, and I know it doesn't give me the freedom to speak to you in that manner. I want you to know that I don't think those things about you. I would never think them, and I don't know why I said them, but please believe me. I love you too much to let my stupid actions ruin us. Please forgive me and try to understand me even though I may seem very selfish. I'm sorry."

As the sincere apologies flow from your boyfriend's lips, you understand that his behavior was unintentional. You know that he's also going through a difficult time, and work stress can sometimes affect his mood beyond his control. You release another sob, but this time, they are tears of relief as you feel his love and genuine remorse.

Your boyfriend continues to hold you in his embrace and assures you that he will always value and care for your feelings. He promises to work on managing his stress better and avoid venting on you in

a way that hurts you. Together, you decide to seek healthier ways to deal with individual and collective stress, such as open communication and mutual support.

This incident strengthens your relationship as you learn to overcome obstacles together and stay connected even in challenging times. Although your tears were a result of momentary pain, both of you understand that it's an opportunity to grow and strengthen your love.

.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ

დ Lee Minho

You're having a fun time with your boyfriend at home. You've been joking and teasing each other for a while, creating an atmosphere of joy and laughter. Both of you enjoy this dynamic and feel comfortable with each other.

In the midst of the fun, your boyfriend decides to play a prank that turns out to be heavier than you expected. He starts making sarcastic comments and teasing about something that you know makes you feel a bit uncomfortable. At first, you think it's just part of the game and try to laugh along with him.

However, as he continues with his jokes, you start feeling more and more vulnerable and emotionally affected. The words he uses no longer seem funny, but hurtful. You can tell that your boyfriend doesn't realize how his words are affecting you and carries on with the prank, thinking everything is fine.

The combination of excessive teasing and your own sensitivity causes tears to well up in your eyes. You try to hold them back, but it's hard to ignore the pain that's building up inside you. Your face reflects a mix of sadness and confusion, as you didn't expect the situation to escalate to this point.

Your boyfriend, noticing your reaction and realizing he has gone too far, immediately stops. His expression changes to one of surprise and remorse as he sees your tears. He realizes that he has unintentionally hurt your feelings and quickly apologizes sincerely.

"Oh, sweetheart, I'm so sorry. I didn't realize I was hurting you. I just wanted to play a playful prank, but now I see I crossed the line. Please forgive me," he says with a mix of concern and remorse in his voice. You didn't know what to feel because it's clear that you're not very open about sharing your insecurities with your boyfriend, which caused this unfortunate situation.

It's difficult for you to speak due to the emotions, but you nod your head, letting him know that you understand it was a mistake and that you accept his apology. He quickly comes closer and embraces you tenderly, trying to comfort you.

As he holds you, you allow him to console you and also express how you felt. You explain that although you enjoy having fun together, there are certain topics or boundaries that should not be crossed. Both of you commit to better communication and maintaining a healthy playful environment in the future.

"I'm really sorry, bunny, it wasn't my intention to make you feel this way."

"It wasn't entirely your fault, babe. I don't talk to you much about my insecurities, but from now on, I'll make sure to share my fears and everything that entails."

"We're both going to improve, I promise, bunny."

He promises to be more aware of your boundaries in the future and make sure that the pranks stay at a comfortable level for both of you. He acknowledges that, although the intention was to play, he didn't properly consider your feelings at that moment.

As the emotions calm down, you both use this experience as an opportunity to strengthen your relationship. You learn the importance of respecting each other's emotional boundaries and how to take care of each other.

.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ

დ Seo Changbin

You're at home with your boyfriend, enjoying a relaxed afternoon together. Suddenly, as you pass by the room's doorway, you overhear your boyfriend speaking negatively to someone. Curiosity and concern flood your mind, and you decide to stay silent and listen a little longer.

As you listen, tears well up in your eyes. The words you hear are hurtful and seem to be directed at you. Your heart shatters as you try to process what you've just heard. Without uttering a word, you distance yourself and lock yourself in another room, trying to cope with the overwhelming rush of emotions.

"God, she's so damn annoying. Can't you understand how much her attitude irritates me? Acting all flirtatious, like she's the best person on earth. Someone needs to open her eyes, please. It even embarrasses me to see her," your boyfriend commented over the phone.

"No, of course not. I never want to see her again in my life. Seriously, I hope she realizes the situation and gets that I'm not interested. Well, hopefully things will get better. Talk to you later, Hyun," he ended the call, and you rushed out of the room.

After a while, your boyfriend realizes your reaction and frantically starts searching for an explanation. He looks for you throughout the house and finally finds you sitting in a corner, tears streaming down your cheeks. His face reflects anguish and confusion, not understanding what has happened.

"What happened? Why are you crying?" he asks, his voice trembling, cautiously approaching you.

Looking him directly in the eyes, you share your hurt feelings and tell him what you overheard. You explain how betrayed and hurt you felt, believing he was speaking ill of you. Your voice trembles as you struggle to hold back tears.

Visibly shocked, your boyfriend takes your hands in his and tries to calm you down. He begs you to give him a chance to explain and assures you that he wasn't talking about you. With a sigh, he tells you that he was talking about a girl he recently met, who doesn't seem to understand that he's not interested in her. His words were taken out of context, and he understands how they could have been misunderstood.

"Love, I wasn't talking about you. I'm sorry if you thought that. I would never speak about you like that, and I didn't even want to speak that way about her. But honestly, I've been so bothered by her flirting with me and she had me fed up. I was just telling Hyunjin what was happening because he noticed I started going to the gym earlier than usual. I wanted to avoid her. Please forgive me, I didn't mean to hurt you."

As you listen to his explanation and see the honesty in his eyes, your tears begin to fade away. Slowly, you start to comprehend that it was a misunderstanding, and your boyfriend never intended to hurt you.

"I'm really sorry, sweetheart. I didn't want you to feel this way. I wasn't talking about you, but about that girl. I made a mistake by not clarifying it, and I understand why you felt hurt. I promise I'll be more careful with my words in the future," he says sincerely.

As your boyfriend's words reach your heart, the tears give way to a sense of relief. You know that he cares about you and genuinely regrets the situation. He embraces you gently, seeking to console you and reaffirm his love.

You decide to forgive him, knowing that we all make mistakes, and he has acknowledged his own. Together, you commit to strengthening your communication and promise to openly and honestly discuss any concerns or misunderstandings that may arise in the future.

.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ

დ Hwang Hyunjin

You're having a fun night with your group of friends, laughing and having a great time. Your boyfriend is also there, but as the night progresses, you start noticing a change in his attitude. He becomes distant and increasingly jealous.

At one point, your boyfriend approaches you and starts making baseless accusations. His words are aggressive and filled with unfounded jealousy. You try to calm the situation and explain that there's nothing to worry about, that you're just enjoying the company of your friends.

"What was that?"

"What are you talking about? I don't understand, babe."

"You saw how your little friend was looking at you? It's obvious he likes you, bella."

"What are you talking about? Don't be ridiculous. We're just friends, love."

"I'm not being ridiculous. I'm telling you he likes you. The way he looks at you is the same way I look at you, with love and desire. I won't let this go unnoticed. Let's go, please."

"Are you jealous, love? You know I only like you. I love only you, babe. Please trust that nothing will happen."

"For once, listen to me, bella. Let's go, damn it. I want to go home now. I'm tired of you and them." You were shocked and couldn't respond, so Hyunjin took it as a "I don't want to leave."

However, he persists in his accusations, raising his voice and demanding unnecessary explanations. You feel cornered and attacked, not understanding why he has taken this aggressive stance. You try to stay calm, but his hurtful words start to affect you emotionally.

"I'm tired of it. Do whatever you want, go kiss him if you want. I don't care anymore."

"What are you talking about? Of course not, Hyunjin, please understand."

"Forget it. I'm tired of seeing you not believing me. Come back before it gets darker. I'm going home. Enjoy your night, I guess."

Tears begin to fill your eyes as you try to hold them back. You can't understand how such a fun night took such a drastic and painful turn. Your boyfriend, noticing your reaction and realizing he has gone too far, stops immediately. His expression changes from anger to surprise and remorse as he sees your tears.

"Oh, bella, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to make you cry," he says with a trembling voice, approaching you with a gesture of repentance. "I was jealous, and I let my insecurities get the best of me. But understand that I only want to protect you and that you mean so much to me. I didn't want to hurt you. It's just that he's so handsome, and I'm afraid you'll leave me for someone better. You're what I value the most, and you're the only thing that keeps me alive. Please forgive me. I didn't mean to hurt you."

Despite the pain you feel, you understand that his jealousy stems from a place of love and concern for you. However, you also let him know that the way he has treated you has been unfair and hurtful. You express your feelings honestly, explaining how his words have deeply hurt you and made you feel misunderstood.

"It's not fair what you did, Hyun."

"I know, I'm sorry."

"Don't worry, I know you love me and want the best for me. It's okay, but next time you feel like this, tell me, and we'll work it out together, cutie." He simply nodded his head.

Your boyfriend, visibly affected by your words, apologizes once again and hugs you tenderly. He assures you that he will work on his

jealousy and communicate in a healthier way. He acknowledges that his actions have been unfair and that he needs to learn to trust you and the strength of your relationship.

Together, you decide to take some time to discuss your concerns and fears, setting boundaries and committing to supporting each other. You learn that open and honest communication is essential to overcome jealousy and build a stronger, healthier relationship.

As emotions calm down, you realize that although this incident made you cry, it has also allowed you both to grow and understand each other better. You feel comforted by the fact that your boyfriend has recognized his mistakes and is willing to work on them.

.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ

დ Han Jisung

You're at home, enjoying a chill moment when you receive a text on your phone. It's your boyfriend, telling you he's written a song for you and wants to share it. You feel excited and eager to listen to it since you know he's really talented in music.

You open the audio file and a beautiful melody starts playing. As you listen to the lyrics, tears fill your eyes. The song's words express all the love and admiration your boyfriend feels for you. It's a touching declaration that hits you right in the heart.

Overwhelming emotion and happiness wash over you. You're so thrilled to have someone who values and loves you like this. Tears of joy start streaming down your cheeks as you keep listening to the song over and over again. Your emotions are so intense that you can't help but cry tears of happiness.

Your boyfriend, eagerly waiting for your reaction, realizes he's made you cry. He quickly approaches you, concerned and confused.

"Doll face, what's wrong? Why are you crying?" he asks softly, wrapping his arms around you.

"Don't you like it? Should I change something? Is the lyrics weird? Give me a few hours and I'll make another song for you, love. Give me another chance."

With a smile through your tears, you try to explain how happy his song makes you and how deeply it touches your heart. You sincerely thank him for his sweet gesture and assure him that these are tears of happiness.

"I'm the luckiest person in the world, Hannie. I don't deserve you, really. You're an amazing guy, and I love you so much. Thank you for always being by my side and making me so happy. If I could give you the world, I would. Please never leave me. I love you."

"Oh, love, I didn't mean to make you cry. I just wanted to express how I feel about you through music," he says tenderly, wiping away your tears with his thumbs. "I'm so glad you liked the song and that it made you happy. You're the most important person to me, and I want you to know how much I love you."

As he comforts you and holds you close, you feel overwhelmed with love for him. You realize how lucky you are to have someone who understands you so well and strives to make you happy. Although his intentions were pure, and the song was beautiful, tears flowed due to the intensity of your emotions.

Together, you celebrate this special moment and promise each other to continue sharing and expressing your love in ways that bring happiness and a sense of being cherished. It serves as a reminder of the depth of your bond and the beauty of your relationship.

This incident teaches you the power of music to convey emotions and the strength of love to touch someone's heart. From now on, that song becomes something very special for both of you, reminding you of the love and happiness you share.

.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ

დ Lee Felix

You're hanging out with your boyfriend at home, laughing and chatting. But suddenly, you notice a change in his behavior. He seems irritated and distant, and his expression shows that something's not right.

You try to figure out what's going on, but he responds curtly and avoids having a conversation. You try to approach him and ask if everything's okay, but he just tells you he has a headache and needs some quiet time.

"Damn it, I have a headache, can you just be quiet? I don't feel good," he snaps. "Do you want me to bring you tea? Or a painkiller? Should I take you to get checked out? You should lie down for a while."

"What don't you understand!? Just shut up, can't you keep that pretty mouth of yours shut for a second, oh my God, are you a parrot? Stop with the nonsense, now leave me alone, go away," Felix seemed to get a bit worked up, even raising his voice at you.

You feel confused and worried because you don't know what caused his irritation. You try to give him space and time to recover, but you can't help but feel hurt by his distant attitude.

In the meantime, you continue doing your own activities, trying to distract yourself and give him the space he needs. But deep down, it hurts that he silenced you and didn't share with you what was bothering him.

After a while, your boyfriend returns to the room where you are. He comes close to you, looking remorseful.

"I'm sorry for being distant and yelling at you like that. I shouldn't have acted that way, I'm sorry," he says softly, with his eyes lowered. "I had a really bad headache, and I was irritated, but that's no excuse to treat you like that. I didn't mean to make you cry, babe, I'm really sorry."

Tears start filling your eyes as you listen to his sincere apologies. Although it hurts that he was irritated and ignored you, you understand that he also has difficult moments that can affect his behavior.

"I don't want you to apologize for feeling bad, but it hurt that you ignored me and silenced me," you respond with a trembling voice. "I understand you had a headache, but I would have liked it if you had told me. I want to be there for you, even in tough times."

Your boyfriend nods, genuinely remorseful for his behavior. He takes your hands and looks into your eyes.

"You're right, I shouldn't have shut you out like that. I appreciate your support and your willingness to stand by me even when I'm going through tough times," he says sincerely. "I promise to work on communicating better with you and not pushing you away when I feel bad. You're important to me, and you should never feel silenced, let alone threatened by me. God, I was such a big idiot, I'm sorry."

Even though tears continue to flow, you feel a sense of relief hearing his commitment to improving communication and valuing you more in difficult situations. Together, you decide to take some time to openly and honestly talk about your emotions and needs, thereby strengthening your relationship.

As the days go by, you see how your boyfriend keeps his promise and makes an effort to be more aware of his actions and words when he's irritated or going through a tough time. Both of you learn to support each other and communicate effectively, overcoming any obstacles that may arise.

.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ

დ Kim Seungmin

You're excited to go out with your boyfriend and decide to wear a special outfit. You make an effort to look good and feel confident in your clothing choice. When you meet up with your boyfriend, he looks you up and down and starts laughing.

"Wow, is that what you're wearing?" he says, laughing. "I think someone went a little overboard with fashion today."

"Damn, I thought I was the one with bad fashion sense, apparently not."

"Stop joking, Seung, you can't handle how cute I look."

"I'm not joking, are you seriously going to wear that today? I don't want anyone to see me with you if you wear that."

At first, you think he's just joking and you join in the laughter. But as seconds pass, you realize that his comments could be hurtful. Tears start welling up in your eyes as you struggle to hide your hurt feelings.

Your boyfriend notices your reaction and realizes that his jokes were inappropriate. He quickly approaches you with an apologetic expression on his face.

"Oh, blossom, I'm so sorry," he says apologetically. "I didn't mean to hurt your feelings, I was just joking. I know you've put effort into looking good and you look beautiful, seriously."

Tears start falling down your cheeks as you try to explain how his comments affected you. You express how important it is for you to feel appreciated and supported by him, even in seemingly insignificant situations.

"I understand it was a joke, but I felt really bad," you say with a trembling voice. "I put effort into choosing my outfit and I wanted to feel good with you. I need you to support me and make me feel valued, even in small things like how I dress."

Your boyfriend sincerely apologizes and embraces you tenderly. He understands how much he has hurt you and is determined to make it right.

"I'm sorry for making you feel this way. I shouldn't have mocked you like that. I just wanted to joke around, you know how silly I can get with my jokes. It wasn't my intention to make you cry, blossom. You're honestly the most beautiful person my eyes have ever seen. Don't let the comments I made affect you. You're even more gorgeous every day," he says softly. "You're beautiful and precious to me, and I never want to make you feel bad. I appreciate your effort, and I promise to be more aware of your feelings in the future."

As he comforts you and apologizes, you feel a sense of relief in your heart. You appreciate his willingness to learn from his mistakes and improve the way he communicates with you.

Both of you take a moment to openly and honestly discuss how you want your relationship to be, based on mutual respect and acceptance. You agree to be more sensitive and considerate with your words and jokes to avoid unnecessary hurt.

Over time, you see your boyfriend keeping his promise and showing greater care and support in all aspects of the relationship. You learn to communicate more effectively, accept differences, and value each other.

.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ

დ Yang Jeongin

You're having a chill night at home with your boyfriend. You both decide to snuggle up on the couch and enjoy a horror movie together. As the movie progresses, your boyfriend starts telling you scary stories to amp up the excitement.

While listening to his chilling tales, you feel the tension creeping over you. You try to keep your composure and not let it affect you, but your imagination starts playing tricks on your mind.

After the movie, you decide to call it a night. You climb into bed next to your boyfriend, trying to leave the scary stories behind and calm yourself down. However, the dark atmosphere and vivid details of the stories he told still linger in your head.

In the middle of the night, you wake up startled by a terrifying nightmare. Your heart is racing, and tears stream down your cheeks. You quickly seek comfort and security in your boyfriend's arms.

Your boyfriend wakes up to your sobbing and embraces you tenderly, sensing your distress.

"What's wrong, babydoll? Did I have something to do with your nightmare?" he asks, concerned, as he holds you close.

"It was my fault, right? I'm sorry. You know my imagination runs wild, and once I start, I can't stop. I'm sorry," his last words make you laugh a little.

Through your sobs, you manage to explain how the combination of the horror stories and your imagination led to a dreadful nightmare.

"You're such a goof, and so am I. How could I have thought that Annabelle would come along with the nun to invite me to dinner at their haunted house?" Both of you burst into laughter, realizing that while your nightmare might have been silly, it was still terrifying.

Your boyfriend gently strokes your hair and offers words of comfort.

"I'm really sorry, I had no idea it would affect you this much. I never intended to scare you like that," he says softly. "I promise I won't tell you any more horror stories before bedtime if they make you feel bad. I'm here to protect and take care of you, not to frighten you."

You cling to him, allowing yourself to feel his warm embrace as tears continue to roll down your cheeks. Gradually, the sense of safety and love begins to alleviate your fear and sadness.

"Thank you for being here and understanding how I feel," you whisper, voice trembling. "Your support means a lot to me. I don't want you to feel guilty, but it comforts me to know that you're willing to avoid things that scare me. I love you."

Your boyfriend hugs you tighter and whispers in your ear, "I love you too, and I'll do everything I can to protect you and make sure you feel safe. Together, we'll overcome your nightmares and anything else that scares you."

You spend the rest of the night in his arms, feeling his love and support helping you calm down and go back to sleep.

.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ

Tags !!

@albaficaslover

@damselettism

[literary-illuminati]

Book Review 65 – System Collapse by Martha Wells

I’ve had this on preorder long enough to have entirely forgotten about it by the time I got the email that it’s available for pickup – but thanks to the magic of an extremely obliging local book store, I was still able to pick up and read the entire thing before it’s technically released. So score one for buying indie, I guess.

The book is set directly after Network Effect – directly directly, to the point where I needed to look up a plot summary to remind myself what the situation was – following our beloved rogue and rampant SecUnit, ART, and their assorted humans as they try to convince an abandoned and alien-contaminated colony’s inhabitants to trust them and accept evacuation with them (and also go along with the colonial charter they’re forging) rather than the indenture offers the corporate mission also on site are offering. Along the way there’s hacking, shuttle chases, gunfights, and plot-critical media curation.

Mostly though it’s about Murderbot having PTSD (on account of all the horrible trauma in Network Effect specifically, and also just its life generally) and absolutely zero idea how to cope. After a false memory/panic attack makes it crash out of nowhere it spends the majority of the book terrified that it’s going to crash or freeze up at some vital moment and get everyone killed, dealing with constant alien-related paranoia, and generally second-guessing itself and feeling useless and depressed. Absolutely no one around it has any idea how to deal with this, and their awkward attempts to be supporting are both endearing and entirely unhelpful.

Anyway, this is a Murderbot novel. Do you like Murderbot? Then you will like this. Do you not know the series? Then by god start with All Systems Red none of this will make any sense at all without context. Do you dislike murderbot? I mean hateread as you like but it is largely more of the same, don’t expect any series-saving twists for you.

It’s kind of absurd to call the series ‘cozy fantasy’ – by the end of the book SecUnit is down several extremities and bleeding out on the floor (as is traditional by this point) – but I feel like the series fills about the same emotional niche for me as like say Becky Chambers does for people with normal tolerances for low-tension sentimentality. The setting is a horrible dystopia and the plots are full of violence and trauma, but all that is more or less set dressing to stories that are actually about SecUnit making connections and deciding at a tortuously slow pace what sort of life it wants to have (usually several hours after commuting itself without thinking) while consistently running into the best possible friends and forming mutually affectionate relationships it absolutely did not want. It’s a story about fun, low-tension character dynamics, corporate kill teams aside.

I am being entirely sincere when I say the fact that SecUnit has no idea what it wants or what its doing is a selling point. In the same way, the fact that there’s never any real ~breakthrough~ or moment of sudden recovery is absolutely key to the book working. The story closes with it being hopeful and doing better but from any remotely reasonable baseline still being pretty far from ‘okay’ (in much the same way, it is utterly vital to the whole series that it has absolutely zero angst over ‘not being human’ or pinochle syndrome and only cares about ‘not being normal’ insofar as its had to work really hard on some automated scripts for walking and idle motions to pass as human while doing infiltration work).

Anyway, speaking of character dynamics – look, I’ve always been the first to roll my eyes when people complain about not being able to keep tracks or large casts. But every time I open one of these books, I realize I have only the vaguest idea who the vast majority of the (human) supporting cast is. Not really an issue with actually following the story, but I’m absolutely certain I’m missing out on some things.

The non-human supporting cast are great though. ART best spaceship, and I cared significantly more about the colony’s central control computer than any of the actual colonists. I’m like 70% sure this is intentional.

Stepping back, it’s interesting how the series’ setting has evolved over time. In All Systems Red the universe around SecUnit was incredibly broadly sketched, generic sci f playing with space opera and cyberpunk tropes it pretty much relied upon readers already being familiar with. This never exactly stops – especially for the aesthetics and technology, the book has a profound lack of interest in the specifics of what ‘projectile weapons’ look like or how spaceships work beyond the convenience of plot – but as the books go on the world definitely gets more specific and also broader. You can mostly blame ART for this, I think – there’s a definite shift in the tone of the setting when you introduce an institution like the University with power like it can throw around, and more generally make active resistance to and subversion to the corporate status quo a plausible and fruitful endeavour.

All this to say that there’s an offhand mention at one point about ‘intracorporate violence’ increasing and the system being increasingly unstable, and I’m curious what Wells is going to do with that going forward. Especially with the book’s final resolution and the status quo it sets up going forward.

Anyway like I said, it’s murderbot. This is the 7th book in the series. If you’re considering reading it you’ll probably love it.

[venusianpulp]

PICK A PILE TAROT READING

Pick an image and then scroll down to the tarot spread that matches that image. Intuition will be key here. try and take a deep breath, focus on the center of your forehead whilst imagining your energy moving inward from the pineal to your brain stem. And then let go of your breath and choose. This technique will help those of you who aren't entirely tapped into your intuition! <33333

*Gender plays no role in the channeled images*

*maiden&seashell* Pile 1

*black&white* Pile 2

Pile 1:

The Ten of Wands as the overall energy indicates that you may be feeling burdened, overwhelmed, or weighed down by responsibilities and obligations. This card suggests that you have taken on too much and may be struggling to manage all the demands on your time and energy.

The Devil in reverse, however, suggests that you are beginning to break free from the chains of negativity, addiction, or unhealthy attachments that have been holding you back. This card indicates a time of liberation and release, where you are starting to recognize and overcome the self-imposed limitations that have been keeping you stuck.

The Nine of Swords upright suggests that you may be dealing with anxiety, fear, or worry, perhaps related to the burdens and responsibilities represented by the Ten of Wands. This card indicates a need to confront your fears and to find healthy ways to manage stress and anxiety.

The Three of Pentacles upright and the King of Pentacles upright suggest that you have the skills, knowledge, and resources necessary to achieve your goals and to create a stable and successful future. These cards indicate a time of growth, collaboration, and manifestation, where you are able to build something meaningful and lasting.

The Two of Cups upright suggests a deepening of emotional connections and partnerships, perhaps in your personal or professional life. This card indicates a time of harmony, mutual understanding, and emotional fulfillment, where you are able to form strong and supportive relationships with others.

The Queen of Swords in reverse, however, suggests that you may be struggling with communication, boundaries, or decision-making in your relationships. This card indicates a need to speak your truth, to set clear boundaries, and to make decisions based on your own needs and values, rather than trying to please others.

The Sun upright and the Wheel of Fortune upright suggest a time of positive change, growth, and good fortune. These cards indicate that you are moving towards a brighter and more abundant future, where you are able to overcome challenges and obstacles and to achieve your goals and dreams.

Overall, this reading suggests a time of transformation and growth, where you are breaking free from negative patterns and limitations and moving towards a more fulfilling and abundant future. While the path ahead may be challenging at times, with the Ten of Wands and the Nine of Swords indicating burdens and anxiety, the other cards in the reading suggest that you have the resources, support, and inner strength necessary to overcome these challenges and to create a life that is truly authentic and meaningful.

To navigate this time successfully, it may be helpful to focus on self-care and stress management, to cultivate supportive relationships and partnerships, and to trust in your own inner wisdom and guidance. By staying true to yourself and your values, and by embracing the opportunities for growth and change that are coming your way, you can move through this transformative period with grace and resilience, and emerge on the other side stronger, wiser, and more fulfilled.

Pile 2

In this tarot spread, the overall energy is represented by the King of Cups in reverse, suggesting that there may be some emotional instability, moodiness, or difficulty in expressing feelings in a mature and balanced way. This could indicate that the querent is struggling with emotional control, leading to potential challenges in relationships and decision-making.

The Two of Cups upright in the spread signifies a strong, harmonious partnership or the potential for a new romantic connection. This card often represents mutual love, understanding, and balance between two individuals. It suggests that the querent may be experiencing a positive, supportive relationship or has the opportunity to develop a deep connection with someone.

The Sun upright is a highly positive card, representing joy, success, and vitality. It indicates that the querent is in a period of growth, positivity, and good fortune. This card suggests that the querent's endeavors are likely to be successful and that they should embrace the warmth and energy of this positive influence.

The Fool upright represents new beginnings, spontaneity, and taking a leap of faith. This card suggests that the querent is at the start of a new journey or is ready to embark on a fresh adventure. The Fool encourages the querent to embrace the unknown, trust in the universe, and approach new experiences with an open mind and a sense of excitement.

The Ten of Cups upright is a card of emotional fulfillment, happiness, and family harmony. It suggests that the querent is experiencing a time of joy, contentment, and strong connections with loved ones. This card often represents a sense of belonging, security, and the ultimate emotional satisfaction that comes from having a supportive and loving family or community.

The King of Wands upright represents a confident, charismatic, and visionary leader. This card suggests that the querent possesses leadership qualities, creativity, and the ability to inspire others. The King of Wands encourages the querent to take charge of their life, pursue their passions, and lead with courage and determination.

The Five of Swords upright, however, indicates conflict, disagreements, and potential betrayal. This card suggests that the querent may be experiencing tension, arguments, or power struggles in their relationships or social interactions. The Five of Swords warns the querent to be cautious of manipulative or deceptive behavior from others and to avoid engaging in petty disputes.

The Queen of Swords in reverse suggests that the querent may be struggling with communication issues, emotional coldness, or a lack of empathy. This card indicates that the querent or someone in their life may be exhibiting bitterness, resentment, or a harsh attitude. The Queen of Swords in reverse encourages the querent to be mindful of their communication style and to strive for clarity, honesty, and compassion in their interactions.

The Page of Pentacles upright represents new opportunities for learning, growth, and financial stability. This card suggests that the querent may be embarking on a new educational pursuit, starting a new job or project, or receiving a message related to their financial well-being. The Page of Pentacles encourages the querent to approach these new opportunities with enthusiasm, practicality, and a willingness to learn and grow.

The Lovers upright represents love, harmony, and the need to make important choices in relationships and life path. This card suggests that the querent may be facing a significant decision related to love, partnership, or personal values. The Lovers encourages the querent to follow their heart, trust their intuition, and choose the path that aligns with their authentic self.

Overall, this spread indicates a mix of positive influences and potential challenges. The querent appears to be in a period of growth, new beginnings, and the potential for deep, meaningful connections. However, they may also face conflicts, communication issues, and the need to make important decisions along the way. The King of Cups in reverse as the overall energy suggests that the key to navigating these influences will be to work on emotional balance, maturity, and clear communication in order to make the most of the opportunities and overcome the challenges presented in this spread.

[julie09tarot]

Q: I am distressed because of the state of the world. From the rise of the far-right to environmental concerns, it seems the disgrace will never end. Is there a way out?

This reading reflects the emotional weight of watching the world unfold in ways that feel overwhelming. It acknowledges your distress, your exhaustion, and your deep desire for harmony (2 of Cups, Enneagram 9). The Wheel of Fortune reminds us that history moves in cycles—nothing is permanent, even the darkest moments. But the reversed Eight of Pentacles shows that exhaustion and hopelessness are creeping in, making it feel like nothing we do matters.

The Osho Zen card "Playfulness" is not asking you to ignore reality, but to remember that joy and lightness are not betrayals of your values—they are necessary for survival. And the Spirit Junkie message, "Attacking others is an attack on myself," is a powerful reminder: how we respond to the world matters as much as the world itself.

So, is there a way out? Maybe not in the way we wish—no instant fix, no perfect resolution. But there is a way through—one that does not rely on despair, but on small, meaningful engagement, emotional resilience, and a refusal to let hopelessness be the final word.

Breaking Down the Cards

Wheel of Fortune – The Cycles of History & Change

The world has always moved in cycles—periods of peace, crisis, rebuilding, and renewal. Right now, it feels like the wheel is turning in a dark direction. But history shows us that nothing stays static forever.

The danger is believing that despair is the only rational response. What if, instead of helplessness, we saw this as a time to plant seeds, even if we don’t see them bloom right away?

What would it feel like to trust that change is always happening, even when it’s not visible yet?

Eight of Pentacles Reversed – Burnout & Feeling Powerless

Activism, awareness, and caring about the world require energy. The reversal of this card suggests exhaustion—the feeling that no matter what you do, it’s never enough.

When this happens, we can either collapse under the weight of hopelessness or redefine what "making a difference" actually means.

Maybe this isn’t about fixing the world single-handedly, but about finding one small, sustainable way to engage without burning out.

Two of Cups – Connection as a Form of Resistance

This is a card of relationships, unity, and mutual support. If the state of the world feels unbearable, one of the most powerful things you can do is find your people, strengthen your connections, and refuse to let despair isolate you.

Change happens in community, not in solitude. Where can you build relationships that help restore your sense of agency and hope?

What if, instead of carrying the whole world on your back, you focused on showing up fully in the relationships and communities that nourish you?

Osho Zen: Playfulness – Joy as an Act of Defiance

This may seem like an odd card to get in a reading about global distress, but joy is not a betrayal of serious times. In fact, joy is one of the greatest tools of resistance.

Think of people throughout history who have faced oppression, war, and hardship—yet still danced, laughed, created art, built families, and loved fiercely.

How can you allow yourself moments of lightness, not as escapism, but as a way to stay emotionally strong enough to keep going?

Spirit Junkie: "Attacking others is an attack on myself. I choose to release this now."

It’s easy to get caught in anger, frustration, and helplessness, especially when looking at the political landscape. But the world does not need more division, more hatred, more exhaustion.

How can you engage in a way that aligns with your values without adding more destruction to an already fractured world?

This isn’t about being passive—it’s about choosing intentional, thoughtful engagement over reactive despair.

Enneagram Type 9 – The Struggle Between Engagement and Overwhelm

As a Type 9, your core desire is peace, harmony, and a sense of stability. You deeply feel the weight of collective suffering, but you also fear that fully engaging with it will overwhelm or disrupt your internal balance. This is where the tension of despair vs. joy arises—your instinct is to either withdraw completely (to protect yourself) or merge so fully with the suffering of the world that you lose your own sense of center.

This reading is asking you to find a third way. Instead of disengaging or collapsing under the weight of distress, you can stay present in a way that is sustainable and nourishing. Joy does not mean denial, and peace does not mean passivity. You are allowed to hold both the world's pain and your own need for lightness at the same time. The work ahead isn’t just about external activism—it’s about learning to stay engaged without sacrificing your sense of self in the process.

Reflection Questions to Consider

How can I engage with the world without letting it consume me?

What would it feel like to focus on small, tangible actions rather than being overwhelmed by the whole picture?

Where can I cultivate joy, connection, or a sense of purpose—not as a distraction, but as a way to stay emotionally strong?

What if my role in this moment isn’t to change everything, but to stay present, awake, and engaged in ways that are sustainable?

Where can I build community and relationships that restore my sense of hope?

Affirmations for Staying Engaged Without Losing Yourself

I do not need to fix everything at once. Small actions create ripples.

Joy and connection are not betrayals of the world’s pain—they are ways to keep moving forward.

I choose to engage with purpose, not despair. My energy is valuable, and I use it wisely.

Zen Perspective: Finding Balance Between Awareness and Inner Peace

Zen does not ask us to ignore suffering. But it does ask us to recognize that carrying the weight of the world in our minds will not bring peace—either to ourselves or to others.

Imagine standing by a river, watching the current. If you try to grab the water, control it, force it to stop flowing, you will exhaust yourself. But if you observe it, engage with it where you can, and let go of the need to control it all, you can find a place of both awareness and inner steadiness.

The world is heavy. But you are not alone in carrying it. Change comes, not from despair, but from staying awake, connected, and engaged—without losing yourself in the process.

You then asked for a follow-up card in relation to how "joy isn't a betrayal of your values".

The High Priestess Reversed – Reconnecting with Inner Knowing

The High Priestess reversed suggests a disconnect from intuition, inner wisdom, or deep self-trust. In the context of your reading, it reinforces the idea that joy and lightness might feel "wrong" or out of alignment with the seriousness of the world’s problems. There may be an internal conflict—a voice that says you shouldn’t allow yourself relief, that despair is the “appropriate” response to injustice, that if you feel lightness, you’re not caring enough.

But the reversed High Priestess is asking: Is this belief truly yours, or is it something you’ve absorbed? Sometimes, our intuition is clouded by guilt, external expectations, or a sense of obligation to suffer alongside the world. Yet, deep down, your inner wisdom knows that joy is not betrayal—it is fuel. The more you deny yourself moments of lightness, the more disconnected you become from your own inner resilience and ability to stay engaged for the long haul. The world needs people who can sustain their energy—not burn out in constant sorrow.

----

🌿 Seeking clarity and guidance? 🌿 I offer thoughtful, introspective tarot readings to help you navigate life’s questions with insight and intention. No fortune-telling—just meaningful reflection. ✨

🔮 Book a reading here!

[embodiedfutures]

I haven't been involved with bfp and only vaguely know a few things of what happened but I've really appreciated your work even though I never joined as a volunteer. I'm very sorry to see you close, though I understand and support the need to. Will there be any more details on what happens to BFP? Will your blog still exist? Is the organization stopping all activities but keeping up the library? (sorry for all the questions, I hope they dont come across in a hostile way)

hi sweetheart! thanks for the questions, you’re all good, i don’t mind. /genuine

all activities, including updating the library, will cease this sunday, february 4, 2024.

this blog will stay up although i doubt it’ll be nearly as active considering i’m the only person running it. i’ve also left the metalheadsforblacklivesmatter blog due to emotional laborious and racialized discussions months ago with the adult that runs it, so im not sure how far our posts will reach anyways now. i’ll be sure to support yalls mutual aid posts though, pinky promise. and i’ll still be active on my personal blog @reaux07 and especially on my instagram reaux07 to disseminate political education content. (considering tiktok, as encouraged by my peers, but im nervous about filming!)

the library will still definitely be available but all the renovations we were doing will essentially be frozen in time, which i apologize for. it’s just too difficult to keep up with only a few actually committed hands, you know? that “over 3,000 free resources” advertised was never an exaggeration, i really did go through and count them all up. and that was the number from 2022! it’s just too much :(

since all activities will cease tomorrow, all of our youth are officially released from their volunteer duties. those of us who are close have already begun a new project to heal, continue to learn, and stay close though :) those outside of that circle, who have made it difficult to be our authentic selves, will walk a separate path, and i wish them the best.

if you have any more questions, feel free to send them in. i’ll get to them when i can 🫂

— reaux (she/they)

[khajiit-reads]

Hello 👋🏻

I'd like a monthly check-in please!

My name is Caterina she/her

I choose the Tarot of Dragons

Thank you 🤍

Well met, internet traveler!

Well, I actually needed you to pick an oracle deck, I use the same tarot deck regardless for this reading as of current day, and my rules for this state that if you don't pick one, I pick for you. However, I elected to find a nice middle ground and use one of my dragon oracle decks.

So, your decks for this reading are Under the Oak Tarot (Oscar, they/xe) by Ofride & StregaDelleMele, and The Pride of Dragons Oracle (Aziz, xhe/[nullpronomial]) by Angelo Thomas & Sonja Hedger. (This latter deck is actually more of a... "spirit guide flash card" deck but I read it as an oracle with some added effort to achieve that.)

For this spread, please consider the month staring on May 18th! This is because I don't like reading this for half-weeks!

As well, for the sideways cards in the week section, they face the inside.

My current self. | Upright XIII Death

This card indicates endings, change, transformation... it can be about the death of something, but usually in a change kind of way. It asks us to let go, release, and accept metamorphosis.

Well, as it stands right now, you're going through some changes. Maybe something has ended, maybe something has begun in the void that the ending left. Things are changing, for the better.

What is the theme for this month? | Sideways III of Cups

For this card, I read both upright and reversed.

Upright, this card indicates celebration, friendship, and creativity. Reversed, it is independence, alone time, and gossip.

So, this month, you'll mutually be celebrating with others and taking much needed alone time. Gossip in this case speaks of communication, so this month you'll be clear with other people to some degree or another.

A key goal to pursue? | Upright V of Cups

This card speaks of regrets, failure, and disappointments.

This month, let yourself be sad. Let yourself mourn whatever failures you've had, whatever regrets rest in your heart, whatever sadness exist within you. It's good to let your emotions be felt and heard.

An obstacle to overcome? | Reversed II of Wands

This card speaks of personal goals, inner alignment, and fear of the unknown. It's lack of planning, bad planning, and not taking action.

Your obstacles are ones of personal making. You need to spend time overcoming what holds you back from pursuing your goals, and then actually pursue said goals.

A major accomplishment? | Reversed X of Pentacles

This card is pretty adversarial... it's financial failure or loss, family disputes, debt, and fleeting success.

I'm not getting the vibe of "Read the opposite way", because otherwise I'd just draw this card upright, so you're about to get an odd reading here.

Your accomplishment is failure. It's learning to have peace with that failure. You're going through some rough stuff right now, and you're going to learn to make peace with that rough stuff.

What to avoid overall? | Reversed XI Justice

This card is unfairness, lack of accountability, dishonesty, and, obviously, injustice.

Avoid not being fair to other people, but most of all yourself. Treat yourself with kindness about your efforts, but be fair in it. Scold yourself where necessary, praise yourself where necessary.

What to embrace overall? | Upright VII of Wands

This card is competition, challenge, but also protection and perseverance.

Embrace difficulty. Embrace that you're going to be challenged this month. There's no gain from running from it all, you're stuck with it and you need to work to embrace it. But remember, you are protected, and you are strong, and you can make it through this!

General advice and encouragement? | Upright X of Cups

This card is about divine love, blissful relationships, harmony, and alignment.

While I won't assume if you have spirit guides or not, if you do, know they are there for you.

Outside of that, you just generally have a lot of people supporting you. You're not alone in what you're doing, and you're going to be just fine.

Who will I be at the end of the month? | Upright XXI the World

Completion, integration, harmony, accomplishment, and achievement make up this card.

Whatever struggle you've been enduring will be closer to the end, if not entirely done. But whatever happens, you'll be done with a part of your cycle of life, and that's a good thing. You'll also likely be more at harmony with yourself!

— ☆ —

Week one. | Angelic Wisdom

This card is all about divine knowledge. Intuition, guidance from spiritual allies, the works.

Again, I don't like to assume that you're particularly into spiritual allies. So I'm going to give two possible readings, of which both may apply if you do believe in spiritual allies.

First off, in the zone of "no, I don't", this week will be guided by intuition and gut feelings. Trust what your deeper emotions say. If something feels good or bad, listen to that.

In the zone of "yes, I do", this week will bring guidance from your spiritual allies who are there to support you and encourage you. Their wisdom will be precious this week.

Week one blessing. | Upright VI of Wands

This card is about success, recognition (sometimes from the public), progress, and self-confidence.

And so this week, you'll be having success in something that gets you recognized, even if only by yourself. Progress will be happening, and you might find yourself having confidence this week.

Week one challenge. | Reversed II of Swords

This card speaks of indecision, confusion, stalemates, and the lesser of two evils.

And yet despite your success, you're at a standstill. You're enduring indecision and don't know what to do next. You might be facing a situation that feels all around bad, but you have to pick the lesser evil option of it.

— ☆ —

Week two. | Sword of Deliverance

This card is about fighting for what's right.

So, essentially, you're going to be having to make choices for what's right. You'll be faced with some difficulty in this zone, and you have to pick the right option. The option that is kind to others.

Week two blessing. | Upright XVII the Star

This card is about hope, faith, purpose, and renewal.

Your blessing is that you're going to be pretty hopeful. You believe things will turn out okay, and you're pursuing your purpose and renewal in the process.

Week two challenge. | Upright IV of Cups

This card is about meditation, contemplation, and apathy. It is boredom, indifference, and discontent.

Your challenge is being stuck in the realm of your own mind, as well as apathy. You're in your own head now, which isn't the place you need to be. You focus on your own unhappiness, despite the hope you feel.

— ☆ —

Week three. | The Indigo

This card speaks heavily of intuition and intuitive gift. So kind of like Angelic Wisdom, but much more internal than external.

So, again, this week will be about intuition. Let your intuition guide you and support you, let it help you pick where you need to be going.

Week three blessing. | Reversed XII the Hanged Man

This card speaks of delays, resistance, stalling, and indecision.

In the blessing slot, this card basically means that you're not getting things done, and that's good! Maybe this week you'll be resting yourself instead of worrying about everything.

Week three challenge. | Upright Ace of Wands

This card is inspiration, new opportunities, growth, and potential.

Buuut, you're going to be feeling real guilty about the blessing. You're feeling guilty about resting, about not getting everything done, but you're needing that rest and lack of work at the same time. So your challenge is to overcome that.

— ☆ —

Week four. | Righteously, You

This card basically asks you to recognize how wondrous and special you truly are. The fact you exist is a blessing, and you are completely and utterly unique.

And there's not much to add to that. This week will see a lot of seeing yourself as the precious being you truly are.

Week four blessing. | Upright V of Wands

This card is conflict, disagreements, and competition.

As a blessing, this card is that your conflicts are a good thing. You might be feeling conflicted and away from the theme of this month (that you are wonderful and precious), but even this is a blessing. Keeps you from getting arrogant.

Week four challenge. | Reversed Knight of Wands

And this final card indicates a passion project, haste, and scattered energy.

You might find yourself wanting to work on something, but your energy just isn't working with you, so you end up rushing yourself into working when you're just plain not quite ready.

I note below my usual (which has actually been updated a bit!), but I want to add an extra little note that with my divinatory readings, if you want to wait until the end of the month to come back with a review based on accuracy, that's fine!

Thank you so much for your patience with me performing this reading.

Reviews are helpful, but optional. You can send them in this posts replies, my ask box, or in a reblog of this post. Feel free to reblog this post with your thoughts in general, or without a review.

If you feel particularly satisfied with my work, you may leave a tip in my Ko-Fi. You can also see my commissions there if you'd like to order a paid spread.

It also helps to reblog my guidelines post.

Please do not reblog this post if you are not the querent. If there’s something within the post you want, you may ask, and depending on the request, I might fulfill it! Thank you!

I hope you, and all readers, have a wonderful day!

[twig-tea]

Love Class 2: A Love Letter

I caught up on the last episodes of Love Class 2 and I felt like I need to give the whole show (both seasons) a rewatch because s2 had so much going on, and my attention definitely suffered in the beginning of S2 from everything else airing at the same time and the proliferation of characters. But I finished the series feeling like something special had just happened, so I wanted to sit with that for a minute and see if I could articulate why. Especially after the disappointment that was the ending of the Minato's Laundromat sequel, I wanted to process my thoughts around what made this one good.

This is not very coherent and very long, mostly because I just wanted to get it down before I got absorbed by other shows again [Spoilers for both seasons follow].

To remind/recap about Love Class 1: The first season focused on Cha Ji Woo and Lee Ro A. Ro A is a returning student who was just released from military service; he lives with Kim Nam Joon who has a crush on him and another roommate. At first, Ji Woo has a crush on Bae Yoo Na, a girl in his class who is being stalked. Her uncle works at the college and so she knows the professor, who is being pursued by one of the other (female) students in the class, Kim Hye Won.

I had forgotten most of this tbh. On rewatch, I remember how much I liked that Yoo Na and Ro A fell for Ji Woo for the same reason, and Ji Woo fell for them for similar reasons too. There is a lot more forced proximity between the leads in S1, with both the class and then the broken arm, which helps because the entire season is so short. There's a resolution with the stalker plot, a nice moment where Ji Woo is honest about how his feelings, and in the penultimate episode, Ro A decides to protect Ji Woo from himself (and homophobia) by rejecting him and disappearing.

Season one ends with a standard separation (that is only kind of earned); an explicit message from the surf shop owner: "If you keep avoiding things out of fear, you'll never experience the good things in life"; and in the last minute we get basically a standard K-drama dead fish kiss (@gabrielokun has done some very kind cropping here so it looks a bit better).

Overall it was ok. Felt very standard at the time, the leads were cute and it was nice that the love rivals Yoo Na and Nam Joon were not treated as villains in the end. The het side plot with the professor felt tacked on. Ji Woo's changing emotions towards Ro A were signposted well but felt fast, and Ro A's fear of ruining Ji Woo's life by turning him gay felt a bit overdramatic and disappearing entirely (including dropping out of class and moving) was a lot. The end left no time at all for them as a couple, so it was very unclear to me whether they'd actually last.

After rewatching S1, I need to give S2 major props for doing the sequel thing right. The show picked up on a lot of the elements of the original while being a completely stand-alone story and not repeating anything in the OG.

Really quick summary of S2 mostly for the names: Lee Hyeon and Min Wu are friends in university together who have known each other since high school. Min Wu has been trying to ignore his crush on their mutual friend Ma Ru (who went straight into the working world and then quit so got kicked out by his parents). Meanwhile Lee Hyeon has been looking for his former tutor Kim An for 2 years; Kim An appears and Lee Hyeon pursues him by joining Love & Marriage class with the help of the TA Sung Min. Sung Min is being pursued by returning student Ju Hyuk after Ju Hyuk sees him in an embarrassing situation with his pants literally down. Shenanigans ensue [many more details recapped below].

Rewatching S1 helped me realize why I liked S2 so much. In season 2, it's like they heard all the complaints and addressed them:

The only heterosexual is there to support the gays; no love rivals here (also PS Sa Ra's character was delightful; I loved the way she knew exactly what to do on those stairs during the fake date!)

All of the couples are gay and get more time overall (the whole series is longer too; 10 instead of 6 eps and some of those eps were over 30 mins each)

All of the couples also have a history together before the show starts, so all have [a varying amount of] feelings before we even begin

And because of the difference in where these couples are starting, everything happens so fast and there is so much more character development

Rather than the love & marriage class being about getting to know someone, because of Lee Hyeon and Kim An's history, the assignments from the class end up being about getting to relearn someone who has changed and you don't know why; bridging barriers and re-establishing intimacy, which was a fun twist

While the first season did a bit of talking about building relationships and forming meaningful connections, it really didn't have time to do much with this and the premise of the "love class" felt barely used. In this season these themes get explored more, with everyone at one point or another needing advice or having to work on their relationship

Of all of the characters, only one didn't know he was gay/bi going into the start of S2

All of the couples express obvious sexual desire and have sex (some before they even date, it's a miracle)

All of the couples have multiple kisses!

Homophobia isn't removed from the world entirely, but it's not a major plot point in this season

None of the couples split up right before the end; the closest is the older couple in ep8 and they reconcile by ep9 [and sidenote: did the professor drop that whatever he lost on purpose so Sung Min would see him with his nephew?!]

They essentially dedicate two episodes to revelling in the happy ending and building out what these characters are like when they are in a relationship, and I love that; no penultimate episode drama

The couples get an entire episode to triple-date and they all just relax being able to be out and comfortable together, it's extremely cute and also heartwarming and a little sad that this is the only place they can feel away from the gay boy scrutiny [this is what I meant by homophobia not being removed entirely from the world, but it's presence is in its absence rather than it being a plot point, and this was refreshing]

The couple that is in the class is out to the class by choice at the end; no more being afraid of rumours the way the original couple were in s1

The stalker plot got darker (it's one thing to stalk someone but to impersonate them at a job that could get you in trouble? Diabolical) and had more clear motivations for his character; also no police were involved in the resolution this time which felt more realistic

Both seasons deal a lot with characters holding in secrets and not communicating; but in s1 the confession from Ji Woo led to Ro A lying to him directly. In contrast, in S2 direct communication is met either with being shut down or with communication back; the other characters sometimes say it's not the time, but never punish the other character for direct communication. And in some cases the direct communication finally helps move them forward/out of misunderstandings. And not directly communicating leads to mess.

In s1 the seniors were bullies and they didn't really face any consequences; in contrast in S2 the boss at the cafe was such a bully and he got harassed into taking a break, realizing he was being horrible, and becoming a better person (and getting a love interest lolol)

In addition to all the things they did differently, there were so many things that echoed or called back to s1! Parallels to the first season:

Sa Ra gets to repeat the moral from the first season: love requires bravery. All of our couples exhibit different levels and kinds of bravery at different times, but all of them at one point or another take that leap and decide to be brave.

The storytelling strategy of flashing back to show us something we hadn't previously seen to recontextualize what we have since been shown was used once in s1 and used in all three couples at the end of every episode of season 2, as well as sometimes mid-episode.

Someone startles/disrupts the Love & Marriage class to ask to be paired with someone of the same sex in both seasons

There is ominous door-knocking in ep2 that ends up being a fake-out but works extra well as creepy because of the knocking by the stalker in s1

There are also similar moments in s1&2 where the "friend" (who is more than a friend but was rejected but still lives/lived with the love interest) stalks and surprises a character to tell them 'truths' about their loved one

The show keeps the feel of s1 in terms of the mix between cute, funny, and sinister (for better or for worse, though I think S2 balances these better)

The relationships in S2 have a lot in common with S1: there are friends who have been friends since high school one of whom is pining and the other rejects him and they agreed to be friends only who live together; rather than a teacher and student there is a returning student and TA; there is a returning student in both seasons; there is one friend out of a trio who is more of a himbo and doesn't go to their school but is still around all the time

Both seasons had a character who seemed to be unaware he was gay/bi until he was put in a position to be forced to realize it, and credit to both seasons, any gay panic was mostly off screen/tied up in figuring out their feelings, and none took place after they told their gay crush

Both seasons touched on how rumours and social isolation can affect you (though the rumours in S2 were not about being gay)

I mentioned it above, but the way the couples relax when they're all in the open and on the trip together was a really touching callback to the first season dealing with the scrutiny of homophobia (whispering, rumours); and the in-class couple showing a photo of them kissing in class is such a huge contrast to s1's couple having a photo of them feeding one another taken and shared without their consent.

Also also in s1 there was a double date near the end of the show so that was also a cute parallel!

While the bullying seniors didn't face consequences in s1, they were interrupted by various people trying to protect their love interests throughout the show. That theme of protecting your love interest from bullying continued to greater effect in S2 and I thought that was really cute!

Cameos of s1 couple and the couple from Private Lessons appeared in s2; it was unclear to me whether the couple from s1 was reprising their roles (though I assume so) but the couple from Private Lessons definitely had the same character names!

Putting aside comparisons now, the storytelling and characters in S2 are so much more interesting!

Ep1 starts with the mysterious fall from the roof [fake-out #1] and then the scene with Lee Hyeon and Min Wu [fake-out #2] in which they call Ma Ru and establish some of the friend group dynamics and then we get the hint that something else is going on with Lee Hyeon (Min Wu asks if he's given up on looking for someone); and then we get the moment that connects storyline 3 to storylines 1&2 between Kim An and Sung Min. So much tight storytelling in this first ep, I remember on first watch being surprised by how much attention this series was requiring considering s1! I scrolled the tag and saw most people found eps 1&2 confusing, and I can say I definitely found it much easier on rewatch and going in with different expectations.

Ep2 hints at the past we don't yet know between Ju Hyuk and Sung Min (only on rewatch did I realize Ju Hyuk asks Sung Min to eat with him like a normal person and the way he promised he would but Sung Min doesn't remember or realize what's happening, and turns him down kindly, which is why he resorts to being an ass.

Ep 3 we get the first hints Ma Ru knows something is up (being afraid to knock on MinWu's door), the first love & marriage assignments (observing your partner and writing them a letter of what you want to say to them) as well as the underwear gift from Ju Hyuk to Sung Min, and the note at Kim Ann's locker. This episode really starts to build on the theme of intimacy and what intimacy means, when is it appropriate, how do you establish it, and the conflict that arises when people are on different pages about your level of intimacy. Like most have noticed, this is where it really takes off and comes into its own as a good show.

The rest of the show really builds on and plays with these histories, intimacies, and conflicts. They have time to actually hurt one another (eg the slut shaming) and actually make up. Each one moves at a different pace. [Sidenote: have I said enough how happy I am that the older couple slept together before dating?! To be clear I am just as excited when an ace/demi/inexperienced character gets to be ace/demi/explore or come into their sexuality, but I only have so much patience for the blushing maiden trope in adult gay men who have clear sexual attraction and interest especially when they have previous experience, and anything outside of one-partner-in-their-entire-lives is still so rare in BL. And as an aside on this aside, I love how much Ju Hyuk's rizz works at first but then backfires on him later, forcing him to use actual communication after all!] Each couple has a reason for the hesitation or delay in becoming a couple (power dynamics and uncertainty about where you stand; friendship you don't want to lose; being burned before and feeling like you aren't allowed to have anything good in your life). Even more importantly, we get reasons for everything: why Min Wu is growing distant with Ma Ru; why Kim An is more terse and cautious with Lee Hyun; why Ju Hyuk is so weirdly rude to Sung Min. And, as I mentioned above, we actually get a motive for the villain of the story too, Kim An's childhood friend/brother/rejected love/stalker (whose name I keep forgetting even in rewatch lol sorry bro). He thought Kim An was only with him because he was desperate, and so when Kim An started making other connections, he thought he had to ruin Kim An's life. And he thought when he came back into Kim An's life, Kim An would still be desperate, and he'd be able to fit back in. He didn't understand that Kim An had still loved him even if he was no longer interested in a romantic or sexual relationship, and would have kept him in his life if he hadn't been betrayed; he didn't understand that Kim An would be able to rebuild his life without him; he didn't understand that Kim An would not forgive him even though he still cared about him. It really is tragic, and the tragedy is in a lot of ways understated.

Yes it was a bit messy with the three plots going on simultaneously but when binged, and definitely on rewatch, it was easier to follow and I enjoyed how the interaction between the characters moved each of the plots forward. I wonder how much the pacing bothered some viewers because it definitely is not paced like a usual kbl, but that's one of the things I liked about it lol and there were some parts that I enjoyed only on rewatch because I could focus on them.

All of this incoherence is to say: I really like the storytelling in S2 so much more than S1; I think it's one of the better sequel attempts I've seen, in that there are clear connections to the first season but everything is built on rather than recreated; and the stories were also just more interesting. Season 2 delivered on the premise of Season 1 without re-using the same structure, plot points, or story beats. Lots of tropes were repeated but they were always used in a new way and played out differently. The finale felt queer in a way I don't expect from Korean BL. We got some of the things I always say I want more of in any series: more time with folks as a couple working out their relationship post-get-together, clear communication, and queer community. Overall, this show affected me more than I expected. It wasn't perfect execution, but TL;DR, more of this please!

[saisons-en-enfer]

Personal mental health masterpost:

Hey, so I’m making this post to give some clarity into my situation for anyone that cares so there is a mutual understanding; especially because I tend to spiral in real-time on tumblr

Preface: I know this is my blog but I don’t want that to be a basis for my deflecting the responsibility of my own mental well being onto others and make people suffer because of it, especially because when I’m down I’m extremely avoidant, self-centred, and may be unintentionally callous (no I’m not just saying that lightly, I’ve been in so many situations on tumblr and IRL that I say something that is extremely insensitive but that wasn’t my intent leading to so many “sha you can’t say no one cares I’m talking to you/sitting here with you how can you say that”) and I need to also own up to that and admit that sometimes my feelings are false and my thought process is jagged

I’ve hurt someone that is really important to me on here multiple times over this and sadly but deservedly they will never be in my life again (though they will always be important to me). I don't want this to be an insincere "I'm sorry I was wrong, please forgive me" but rather to come clean and say that it has happened and I just want to make sure I take actions so that no one who cares about me on here will ever go through the same situation with me; I love the connections I have tumblr beyond words so it's time I act as such

The crux of my dilemma: as I'm sure you all know, I don't desire much to be alive for multiple reasons that I wont get into, and I cant really end my life because I am practically unable to inflict such harm onto other people just because I'm having a hard time. I have exhibited suicidal behaviours irl numerous times but each time I either went through it successfully with coping, asking for help (usually on tumblr), and if worse comes to worst asking to be hospitalized (which happened 6 months ago after I lost my job). It's complicated to talk about so feel free to send asks or DMs if you want to know more, I do exhibit suicidal behaviours on here (by talking or implying how much I don't want to be alive and saying that I'm in unbearable pain, both of which are true) but I seldom think I'm a danger to myself. I would say I have more suicidal ideations (henceforth SI) than behaviours.

I was first diagnosed with depression when I was 21, by 24 I was diagnosed with major depression (clinical) along with GAD, OCD (obsessive in negative thinking), later at 26 with ADHD, and, last year with a mood disorder (yet to be configured, consensus right now is that it is just very unstable mood)

The mood instability is important to highlight because I can pretty much show you days in which my posts go from cheery to mellow throughout the course of a single day.

Tumblr to me is a very personal and emotional scrapbook, when my mood crashes or i get triggered by something, and go on an SI spiral, first thing that happens is that i panic really hard especially because I get caught in the trap of "oh I have to live again tomorrow and experience all of this again and live my life with this mind" and when I'm in that trail of thought, shit goes south real fast and I start having physiological symptoms; I can't breathe properly, I get chills etc. so it's either I sit with those feelings by myself (because I'm not brave enough and trust many people IRL to seek help; something I'm working on) or, I release it onto here as posts. I know it's odd but in my mind having a breakdown in public (similar to my tumblr outbursts) is more helpful in that people either ignore you in which case you will have sense to know that there is none but yourself that can bring you up in which case you pull yourself together and move forward, or people do take notice and show kindness and support and help you fight your way through to see another day. Whatever the case, at least your not weeping alone so to speak. It sounds callous and even attention seeking but i don’t believe it’s inherently wrong, it’s a call for help.

The attention seeking part of it I concede my approach is terrible and I’m such an asshole for constantly firing from the hip with saying shit like “I don’t want to be alive, Im better off dead” and other things of the same ilk no matter how much I mean it and feel the depth of those words so closely. I will be better; when I’m emotional I’m not rational so I don’t do what I always do, step back and think am I approaching this person correctly. My cousin told me “if you’re having a hard time, than don’t say things like that to freak me out… say hey K I’m a bit sad today, I need a hug, I need some love, I need to get out of my head a little”

I'm taking mood stabilizers twice a day, whilst this has been deemed to be enough since I tend to have a strong outward facade and keep composed if my mood falters until I'm alone in my room and my interactions with people irl has been functional, I fear it's not enough and I may have to bring it up even though it means more meds (which btw coincidentally my mother just walked in my room reminding my of my next psychiatrist appointment soon). It's just very hard to bring up my tumblr behaviour up in therapy because as soon as I'm honest about my posting, they will just want to hospitalize me... it's not conceivable in most people's minds that yes I dont wish to be alive but I don't necessarily want to kill myself.

Which brings me to this part regarding my etiquette on tumblr:

All text posts pertaining to my mental health, should it imply SI I will tag as "SI posting"

I will NOT be tagging really sad songs as of now, but I can certainly do that if people would like me to

When I post something concerning you can choose to ignore me altogether if you'd like I will not hold it against anyone or be upset or fall prey to the line of thinking that "no one cares" because I know beyond a doubt that people actually DO care

If you do see such a post and want to help me genuinely, interacting with the post (like or comment or whatever) however small helps me so much and makes me feel so much less alone and gives me strength to push through

You can also start a conversation with me and talk about anything at all that also gets my mind off of things

I promise ill try my hardest to just ask for support instead of just posting extremely concerning text posts

EDIT: im also open and welcome any suggestions people may have on this matter and how I can be better

I keep my promises very seriously and just over a week ago I promised someone I really care about that I will try and be better and I very much intend to do that.

Thank you so much for patience and kindness and just not giving up on me when at times I've given you ample reasons to do so, I love you so much

Much love