#and miles to start maybe somewhat trusting him

[enough-spider-noir-stuff]

Ah, yes, the difficulties of writing fic closely following ATSV canon. Do I mostly stay true to canon and just shift some motivations and backgrounds? Do I drag things out more, change some things entirely? Will Hobie quit the society the second Miles is on the run, or does he stick it out this time due to "i gotta watch out for this kid" and "he's almost like other-me for real" and "i know where to go potentially so it's not quite as dire to get away now" or does he quit anyways and just keeps showing up with the web-warriors watch driving everyone nuts? WHO KNOWS? NOT ME! doesn't matter whether it's the characters or me we're all having a crisis lmao

[inbarfink]

One of the major themes of ‘Ace Attorney’ has always been trust, obviously. Like, this is the most important creed that Mia Fey passed down to Phoenix and from there to anyone he has touched.

As well as just generally being one of Phoenix’s most important positive qualities.

The entire arc of the first game hinges on the idea of the Power of Trust, with it being a core pillar of Phoenix's relationships with both Miles and Maya.

And even the main gameplay themes of ‘turnabout’ and ‘turning your thinking around’ are linked to this theme of Trust. The whole idea around the narrative of a ‘turnabout’ is that the Defendant seems obviously totally guilty, but the defense attorney proves them innocent by Trusting in their innocence. 

And ‘turning your thinking around’ is generally framed as - rather than the general mystery-solver mindset of trying to deduce what has happened from the evidence given - trusting in your client’s innocence and looking for evidence that should be there if they are innocent/that other person is the culprit. Using the Trust in the client as the foundation to build your logic from.

And being such a core theme of the franchise, the games started reiterating on and deconstructing it almost immediately. “Farewell, My Turnabout'' having a Guilty Client feels like the most obvious example, maybe. But actually the game starts casting suspicions on Engarde pretty early on, and most of the emotional turmoil related to him is more of the, like “will Phoenix sacrifice the truth for Maya’s sake” hostage situation stuff. 

I think the more important stuff in that case is more about the Phoenix-Edgeworth drama. How Phoenix’ sense of trust, which seems like such an unwavering and unbreakable virtue in the first game, does actually have limits. Phoenix feels that Miles has betrayed his trust by, y’know, running off to Europe and making him think he was dead - and it takes him time to learn how to regain this sense of trust in him.

Meanwhile, Matt Engarde, he considers himself strong because he trusts in no one. In contrast to Adrian, who both he and she herself see as ‘weak’ because of her tendency to blindly trust the person she is dependent on. But at the end, it’s Matt’s distrust in everyone around him that brings on his own downfall. 

And the game after that adds in Dahlia Hawthorne who is, as Mia Fey’s nemesis, a sort of representation of the dangers of trust. A character who uses and manipulates those who put their trust in her.

“Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney” establishes its more cynical and deconstructivist tone compared to the original trilogy in part by always putting some sort of element of distrust between the Lawyer and the Defendant. With Apollo basically unable to really have a decent conversation with any of his clients, many of them being antagonistic towards him or hiding things from him. Phoenix Wright was basically the only defendant Apollo went into court actually 100% putting his trust in him… and we all know how that worked out.

And this moment is especially effective because… if you’re playing this game unspoiled after finishing the Phoenix Wright Trilogy, you probably trust Phoenix as well! The emotions Apollo feels as he sees who Phoenix had become are meant to mirror the emotions the Player probably feels at this very moment. And the hints and questions about what Phoenix did in the trial seven years ago are a challenge to the trust of both Apollo and the Player. Both of them are stuck between what they knew of Phoenix before and the revelation of what Phoenix confessed to in “Turnabout Trump”. Apollo’s uncertainty is the player’s uncertainty as well. 

And even if Apollo’s image of Phoenix is somewhat improved by “Turnabout Successions” and it’s clearly established that, no, Phoenix never knowingly used forged evidence as an attorney… There’s no big reconciliation that fixes everything like with Phoenix and Miles. It’s clear that Apollo’s sense of trust, in Phoenix Wright and in general, never quite recovered from the events of AJAA. Later games do still reiterate that he’s a lot more distrustful than other playable attorneys.

(And that’s also a point where the Player-Player Character Synergy from ‘Turnabout Trump’ kinda diverges, since I think most Players do regain their trust in Phoenix by the end of AA4 at least. Especially as unlike Apollo, we actually got to be inside his head again - that’s not exactly an experience Apollo will ever get to have. )

But, well, maybe it’s because it’s just really fresh in my mind, but I just think what ‘The Great Ace Attorney’ Duology does with this theme is just… really cool!

These games really play on the idea of challenging the trust… not just of the Player Character Ryunosuke, but also of the Player themselves. Because Ryunosuke also gets to have a Guilty Client… as his very-first actual client who is not himself. And since the game doesn’t lay on the suspicion quite as thick as with Matt Engarde, and since there’s no hostage situation of course… This plotline can have emotional synergy between the Player and the Player Character and focus a lot more about the emotional repercussion of putting your trust in someone totally absolutely unworthy of trust. 

And how this betrayal of trust haunts the characters moving forwards. How Ryunosuke now finds himself being held back by his doubts due to the memories of this terrible trial, and... not necessarily a lack of trust in others as much as a lack of trust in himself. How Susato is driven to do something she considers unforgivable - tempering with the Crime Scene behind the police’s back - because that trial had made her lose trust in the entire British Justice System.

The entire climax of the first game is thus a reaffirmation of the power of trust. By unwaveringly defending Gina - a girl they have bonded with, but has also been extremely uncooperative, shady, dishonest and literally involved in what went down in the McGilded Trial, in a very grueling and seemingly unbeatable trial  - Ryunosuke and Susato rediscover their ability to trust their defendant. Because, yeah, trust is a leap of faith - you never know when you’re gonna meet a McGilded or a Dahlia Hawthorne - but it’s also absolutely worth it.

And then with the themes of conspiracy strawn throughout the games and especially ramping up in the second game, that’s really kinda a thing that’s bound to sow seeds of paranoia and distrust in the Players about… all sorts of characters. Like, okay, I am fairly sure that pretty much every player who first walked into the Lord Chief Justice’s office and saw Mael Stronghart was like “Oh look! That’s the Final Boss!”. But with the hints for there being some sort of web of intrigue being hidden in the shadows, there’s plenty of other characters that skirt the line between feeling suspicious and trustworthy. The reveal that Seishiro Jigoku is actually a culprit was one of the best-done reveals in the whole franchise. And on the other hand, there are many reasons to be suspicious of Yujin due to the amount of secrets he clearly keeps, and yet he turns out to be a very straightforwardly heroic character. 

And then there’s Kazuma. And Mael Stronghart might be the Obvious Final Boss to the Conspiracy and Murder Mystery parts of the game, but within this thematic throughline of the challenges of trust, Kazuma is pretty much that part’s Final Boss. 

Initially designed to be someone both the characters and the players intently trust, both in terms of the meta-perspective of how he’s set up to be a kinda Mia-Miles hybrid and any Player with knowledge of the previous games will know that’s a kind of person you can rely on. And in general, even to newcomers, everything he says and does in the first two chapters of the game make him feel like just a very upstanding guy you can trust.

Then, when he comes back in the second games, he comes back with a new attitude that feels colder towards Ryunosuke (and thus the Player) and that’s also coupled with a whole bunch of mysteries about him that were hinted in the previous game, but are now coming to the forefront. 

And as the Trial of Barok Van Zieks progresses, it becomes increasingly clear that Karuma has, theoretically, all the possible motivation to kill Greyson and frame Barok for it, that he was one of the last people to see Gregson before his death and that he literally brandished a sword at him. And despite how cagey and shady he acts, he still insists he never killed anyone.

And the reveal that he has knowingly participated in an assassination plot behind the backs of both Ryunosuke and Susato is bound to cause a feeling of shock, confusion and betrayal not just in these characters - but also in the Player. The Player and Player Characters are in a lot of emotional synergy through this entire Kazuma storyline. These feelings of conflict between wanting to trust Kazuma after seeing him in his best and all the mounting suspicions due to all the revelations about him are really felt by all three of us.

And in the end the challenge for Ryunosuke and Susato is not to abandon Kazuma completely, and it’s not to continue blindly trusting their old idealized view of Kazuma - it’s to face the fact that he has kinda lost his way for single-minded revenge, while also still trusting that he is deep-down the same good not-murdery man they have known him as before.

[ghostlythunderbird]

Omegaverse ~ Task Force 141+ Alejandro, Rodolfo, König

Warnings: Mostly SFW with a dash of NSFW (MINORS BEGONE)

Author Notes: These are gonna be short and I apologize for it but YALL THE WRITING JUICE IS DRYING UP, so once again I'm sorry. These are also my own interpretations of these characters but feel free to add on top of them. I also wanna thank @l-lend and @kelpiesummer for helping me with these, your honor I love them both.

Before we begin I would like to go over some baseline stuff to this:

In Military pack dynamics there is a Lead Alpha and a Lead Beta, and if the Alpha isn't present it is the Beta’s duty to oversee the safety of the pack.

Apex Alphas do exist here but they only make up 10% of the population, and are often ridiculed due to them being able to control a vast majority of Alphas. They are also much stronger and much bigger than regular Alphas with much stronger instincts. In modern society it's often damning should one be born an Apex because they often have to wear muzzles in public because of their unpredictability.

An Apex’s muzzle is only taken off when they are alone, mated, or receive immunity by extended military service to prove they are not a danger to anyone.

To add on about an Apex, their Ruts become stronger the longer they don't relieve built up tension over time. It has even been recorded that Apexes with no outlet have often become feral and cannot be helped out of a feral state. All Apexes MUST have a physical outlet to reduce built up tension.

All dynamics are able to become Feral, and in this universe there is not enough data to help an individual out of said feral state and will have to be sent to a designated center for proper care.

Apexes, Alphas, and Omegas are able to control themselves decently should a Rut or Heat arrive. Should one help out with these times, consent must be given beforehand and with a trusted individual. Not everyone here is driven to wackiness because of hormones

In the Military, there are often teams that are used for Ruts and Heats of all calibers, they are made up of trained Betas and are the only ones allowed to handle single Apex, Alpha, and Omega dynamics who are in a Heat or Rut.

Simon “Ghost” Riley

Simon I feel like would be an Alpha, simply because of his size and his ability to lead soldiers like a well oiled machine. He didn't start feeding into his alpha nature until he joined the Royal Army after the attacks on 9/11, mostly because his father would punish him and his family should anyone try to stand up to him. Once Simon completed his training he shows his father what a true Alpha is and acts like, and ends up kicking him out of the house before assuming the role as the protector of his family.

After losing his family and “Simon Riley” being now pronounced dead he started to hide his true nature and his scent. While his scent is practically nonexistent it didn't stop him from the commanding and somewhat protective nature of his inner Alpha. In the Ghost’s mind, no scent and repressing that inner Alpha, is the best way to begin a nonexistent life; to become nothing more but a living shadow.

In a Rut:

To describe Simon in a rut would be a very self protective Alpha, not wanting anyone with a 5 mile radius near him to ensure no one discovers his identity. And in order to safeguard that fact he ends up going to a secluded safehouse far from base to ensure not a single person can find him in such a vulnerable state. During this time he does believe it's better for him to be alone as the worry of losing himself after being pent up for so long could only cause him more trouble on top of someone finding out Simon Riley isn't as dead as they claim.

But to say he's a virgin would be a complete lie, he’s been with omegas before and many were in heat so he understands a little about omegas but nothing really outside a heat. With that being said he often craves an omega during his ruts, but after becoming the Ghost he doesn't actively seek them anymore. But if he did have an omega (maybe even you) helping him out he would definitely be very dominant, constantly on lookout after having sated both his needs and whoever is helping him. If you're close with him, he begins to show a more doting characteristic that he claims isn't there such as getting you what snack you're craving or bringing in more blankets for your heat nest.

John “Soap” MacTavish 

Now this Scott probably doesn't strike you as an Alpha, but I assure you he is 100% Alpha blood though and through. Johnny is definitely a more playful alpha compared to the rest of his team but that doesn't stop him from trying to get them to loosen up and have fun. He's even been told many didn't think he was an Alpha at their first introduction, with his fun and very caring personality he's been more mistaken as an Omega rather than an Alpha.

But that never once hurt his feelings, and has even offered to show he’s the real deal if you catch my drift. It also means he loves to show off to whoever might be watching whether they are Male, Female, Omega, Alpha, or even a Beta. His only hard NO would be an Apex of any gender, he may not have met any but there is definitely a stereotype amongst Apexes.

In a Rut:

Before anyone starts to make assumptions that he's pretty dominant in bed and during a rut that's only a half truth. While yes his body is telling him to dominate during that time he isn't fully into it, he is actually more of a switch and can be pretty needy during this time. He wants to cuddle about 90% of the time because the skin on skin helps bring his brain back to a safe place where hormones don't dictate his every move.

Johnny definitely isn't a virgin and has actually had many partners of all second genders besides apexes in his bed at least once. He can definitely say he knows his way around anybody that decides to help him in a rut but once he's sated it's straight pampering for his partner. Once you get to know him better he actually wants to play fight with you more after you're both satiated for a bit, Johnny claims it's to help build a bond between the two for you.

Kyle “Gaz” Garrick 

Before anyone yells at me for making Gaz a Beta hear me out. In a pack like Task Force 141 there needs to be a Lead Alpha and a Lead Beta that takes up for the Lead Alpha should they not be present in a situation. But our sweet Kyle definitely is the voice of reason between the original four, should the Alpha’s hormones and instincts cloud one's judgment Kyle would help set the record straight and see both sides to the coin. He’s definitely the more laid back one of the group but he can get a little wild should he need to, I mean the guy was hanging upside down under a helicopter while going down an active highway.

While he might be the more laid back one, that doesn't exactly mean he isn't a little trickster. He likes to rile Soap up before he gets told to stop which often leads to someone getting sent to the medbay, while he does mess with Ghost and Price he doesn't take it too far because not only are they Alphas they also happen to be higher in the chain of command. Kyle has stated before that it's just easier to pick on Johnny because they are both the same rank, and that Soap is the one who actually wants to up the intensity or stakes to whatever they are doing.

I'm just gonna add this in on this part to say since Betas don’t have Heats or Ruts I won't have a Rut part for Gaz. But that doesn't mean that this man doesn't get any. To anyone who has ever met him, they can say he’s super helpful during those times and has even offered to help should they need it. But that is only to a select few, he mostly just makes sure you don't die from starvation or dehydration and will even run messages and updates back and forth on whatever you want to know or need during that time.

John Price

Our captain in tight fitting camo is not just an Alpha he's The Alpha of Task Force 141, his presence is calm yet demanding attention from anyone who crosses his path. That being said, he isn't one to outright snap at anyone who gets on his nerves, but rather lets them make a fool of themselves. He will only ever step in if his team or his own safety starts being questioned around an individual or in a certain area. He is always aware of everyone under his charge and does the best he can to ensure they all make it back home safe, although they aren't scratch less sometimes but alive nonetheless.

While John is a leader and an officer he makes sure he has an end time to the mountains of paperwork on his desk. Should he have someone at home waiting for him, he makes sure to keep them updated on his whereabouts but once he's in the security of his own four walls his top priority is only them. John has been known to go off the radar sometimes while at home, but it's mostly because when he's home he doesn't want work knocking at his door when he's got other priorities. Overall this man is sweet as he can be, in his own rough way, and all he ever really wants to do is just love and pamper his mate like it might be the last time.

In a Rut:

Right off the bat he tells you he might be a bit much during this time of the year, but it's much more different than what you'd expect from an Alpha of his standing. While most of the time he's peachy with being the dominant one in bed, if the Rut is strong and he just came home all he wants is for you to take control. He will mostly complain that it's because he's “Getting old as crap” but you set that aside and simply say it's ok to let someone else take control. John just wants to be pampered in his Ruts mostly because every other time he has to be taking care of someone else.

Now if he goes into Rut while he's on extended leave and has the energy of a young buck, better buckle up then honey cause you're just gonna have to ride it out. The easiest way to say what he is in bed would be a switch but personally it isn't that simple. Personally I do believe that John can be dominant but with his line of work and his responsibilities it takes it out of him even with a rut, he wants to be dominant but simply put the man is tired most of the time. So in order to make up for it he is very caring of his partner, he wants to provide and protect his partner. John is by far one of the sweetest Alphas out there but don't tell anyone that, he has a reputation to uphold back on base.

Alejandro Vargas

This FINE Latino man is without a doubt an Alpha, with his ability to be both cunning and devious in his line of work he can make sure the job is done. While he might be unforgiving to his enemies, anyone that is a previous lover or his mate can say that he is a hopeless romantic. He showers and pampers his lovers with anything they could ever desire, Alex wants to show that he is a perfect caregiver and provider to their needs.

While he might not be a stereotypical Alpha, he can still effectively protect his mate and his pack should some catch the wrong side of him. He’s a protector and has even said that he “Will fight to his very last breath as long as it means you are all protected in the end.'' With that it's easy to say Alejandro is a very selfless person to those he trusts and will ensure all are properly protected and provided for should they come under his protection and care as the Lead Alpha.

In a Rut:

Imma say it now, Alejandro actually feeds into that inner Alpha during this time. He wants to release all that built up tension into the form of rough sex should anyone help him out. He only ever has someone with him if he knows it's bad and has no mate or anyone special, but if he does have a mate they are gonna be covered in bruises and love bites and probably bred after it. Also without a doubt he's bound to become more aggressive than normal, but again he is simply acting on instincts. However that aggression will never be used against you that could potentially hurt you.

Maybe after a few rounds Alejandro does feel like he's able enough to check on his partner, he goes to town should they need aftercare, snacks, or a shower. He kisses on deep bruises he's left along your skin, helps wash your hair and body, even makes sure you're properly fed even if he's the one who is in Rut.

Rodolfo Parra

Once again please no one yell at me for this decision, but I do feel like Rudy would also be a Beta as he works closely with Colonel Vargas as his second in command. After growing up with Alejandro, they both decided to stay together after their basic training and fight for justice in Las Almas. Wherever you see Alejandro, Rodolfo is never far behind updating the Lead Alpha should news come up over the radios from their team.

Rudy is also more alongside the more nurturing nature, he wants his team safe and will do anything to protect them. His team is his Pack and without them Rudy has nothing left, that being said he tries to improve whatever he can as the Lead Beta for Los Vaqueros. I can also say without a doubt Rudy is also the most loving person to whoever is his mate, but this isn't one sided as he also wants all the love and adoration from his mate just as much. He is a lover by nature but he also wants to be bathed and be told that he is doing a good job and a lover and a mate.

And while again Rudy may be a Beta and doesn't have a Rut it doesn't mean he is inexperienced, He chooses to wait and is actually very selective of potential partners that he shares such intimate moments with. But if you ask Alejandro he can tell you Rudy has had some drunken one night stands that makes the Beta beat red at just their mentioning.

König

Our lorge Austrian man here is one of the lesser known dynamics that makes up only 10% of the world's population; An Apex. Truly it's no surprise that this man right here would be anything less, but in König’s personal opinion it's nothing but a curse. Ever since he presented he was mocked and shamed for his second gender, it was much worse when the government sent his family a muzzle for him to wear in public. It was nothing short of humiliating, it even was something else for him to be bullied for. The bullying was also the reason why  König has deep scars around his face from the muzzle digging in, some of them because his bullies often pulled on the straps to where it was too tight.

Over the years König became more and more anxious around others, there were very limited times the large man would go out into public because he knew people would turn him away simply for his second gender. And due to the large amount of prejudice it was hard to find both a pack and a mate that would accept him, that was until you barreled into his life (literally) that he felt like someone would love him. He's a very caring Apex that goes above and beyond for his mate, there were often times he would stay on his knees and would hardly make eye contact with you. His worst fear is you realizing you don't want an Apex as a mate and leaving, he honestly thinks his heart would stop beating if you did.

In a Rut:

Now this is where he really fears himself most of all. His ruts were strong and they only continued to grow the longer he kept denying himself release with someone else. But when he was assigned to KorTac they allowed him an alternative way to help him during ruts, by sending him on solo operations to let loose on the supposed targets. But again all this was before you showed up.

After you started to share Ruts and Heats together you realized that an Apex was really just a bigger Alpha, and one who wanted nothing more to provide for you. Now while I love König being an absolute sweetheart, that's not how he is during a Rut. König is demanding and can often be rough the first few times but it's only because he never had someone to spend it with, he does end up becoming much softer and sweeter after a while. You thought König was a big soft boi during this time for your first few couplings, nope his brain is empty besides the words Mate, Breed, and Protect for an entire week (good luck walking after that). And if anyone thinks otherwise y'all meet me in the Burger King parking lot at midnight.

[superums]

why do i cry — 42! miles prt 2.

spidey!reader. angst with happy ending. for general audiences. (cannon) character death. no y/n. childhood friends to crush to enemies to lovers. no official confession but a official confession. part 2 of this fic. somewhat of a accidental confession trope

color coded text: miles. you/spidey.

inspired by: why do i cry - margo guryan

"miles?" you felt like throwing up all over again, looking at the boy you've loved for almost all your life talking down to you. you were almost living the worst day of your life all over again.

you closed your eyes, expecting another barrage of punches only to be met with a hand grabbing your mask. you grabbed his arm but you were too weak to stop him.

in a instant your face was met with the cold snowflakes falling from the sky. readjusting your eyes you saw him standing over you. time stood still—what was a few seconds felt like years, decades.

your body loved faster then your mind did, snatching your mask, you put it back on before leaving him in your wake.

that entire week you genuinely felt sick with heart break. your mother tried to get you out of bed many times but she each time she came your face was wet with fresh tears.

you couldn't tell her why, you didn't want anyone else thinking less of you. instead you told her "i just need time.. please."

she gave you space, cooking your favorite meal every single day until you felt better and each time you did think you were getting better, the image of miles standing over you would come back making you feel sick all over again.

in the four weeks it was almost like you stopped existing from anyplace but your bedroom and in your absence crime started to pick up again, and so did the complaints from the media.

"some hero spidey is huh? kingpin robs bank after bank and that useless web-head is nowhere to be found?! new york this just shows we can't trust that sorry excuse of a hero for anything!"

jonah jameson yelled into his camera—he wasn't alone. from all over new york, anchors were throwing every professional name they could think of at you, miles felt like he was the blame.

in the weeks you've been gone his mind has yet to calm. he was about to kill you, if he didn't take off your mask theres no telling what he would've done.

he's been trying to stay away from you, but now crime is risen and theres been several threats that someone is going to attack the brooklyn bridge he knew he had to find you.

now he's standing in your bedroom. he almost stopped breathing as he stopped your still frame. walking closer, he sat next to your feet gently as he could. it took him forever before he opened his mouth.

"i..." he looked at his gauntlet. "i'm sorry for what i did... what i said." the lack of light of your room hid his the sick look on his face. your eyes were wide open and watering slightly as you saw his dark figure from the moonlight outside.

"i did believe what they said about you—how you killed my father... how you're a murderer... a cowardly killer. maybe since it was....maybe since it was him, it was easier for me to believe." you almost felt sick as you saw him wiping his face and sniffling; he was trying not to cry.

you listened as miles talked to himself out loud; he says that he didn't know how to handle jeffs death and that uncle aaron was the only person he felt like he could turn to.

that he worried his mom because he's out so late and bearly talks to anyone anymore but he has to provide for her now that his dads gone.

it takes him a while to stop talking and after that he sits in your room in silence almost like he was going to say something else, instead he heads to your window.

your open eyes stared into the darkness corners of your room as you contemplated stopping him. you wanted to let him go, you wanted to hate him but your heart wouldn't allow it—grabbing his hand you stopped him in his tracks.

whipping his head to face you, you stood on your knees in your bed, you were visibly disheveled, even shaking as you held his hqnd. "miles, i....." you were fighting back vomit and tears as you looked at the boy you love.

it didn't seem appropriate, he just confessed he wanted to kill you because of the news and that he wanted to make you pay—but you can't hold this in any longer. for as long as you could remember you've wanted to confess to him, now this might be the last time you see him ever you have to get it off your chest.

"miles...i like you—no i love you... even after what you said to me on that roof top." it felt like the world stopped for both you and him, his heart fastened as he stared at you. you closed your eyes, expecting him to leave, to say he had a girlfriend even laugh again you but instead you were met with a hug.

his gloved hand rubbed your back and his head burring itself into your shoulder. "i don't know what i'd do if you didn't..." you two cradled each other for a while before separating to look each other in the eyes. "i didnt mean to hurt you." he says after a moment.

holding your hand, he walked you to your window before opening it again. you squeezed his tighter as you saw him get ready to leave. kissing your cheek, he began to climb out of it. "i'll come see you after school... make sure you're dressed, imma take you somewhere." "y-yeah okay."

your legs felt like jelly as you watched him leave. heading back to your bed, you layed on your back for a moment before turning on your stomach and kicking your feet. "i better hurry up and get to bed.. i have a date tomorrow."

taglist: @lunagalaa @awow-2 @coffeeandtealol

[thattiredanimator1t0mblr]

Soft!father figure!Miguel o'hara with a spidey!reader who hates him (hcs)

(Miguel o'hara x spidey!reader platonic)

(Miguel o'hara x teen!reader platonic)

A/n:this is gonna be ooc as hell, I have no idea what I'm doing, I lost my writings skills over 2 years ago because of writers block and it took away my skills ;-;

At first, he wonders if he did or said anything wrong, maybe he accidentally mentioned a Canon event that you went through and it upset you? Maybe he accidentally insulted you without realising? Were there perhaps bad rumors of him?? He thinks of every possibility.

He tries so hard to be a good father figure to you, he KNOWS you aren't Gabriella and never will be, but he sees you as another child he never had, what could've been the older/younger sibling to Gabriella.

He tries to brush off your hate at first, especially when you first meet, after all, he is quite intimidating (the guy is 6'9.) So he understands how you can be cautious of him.

However after a while, he starts to think if he's the problem, he's not good with communication, but he tries to still be a good father figure.

He brings you packed lunch, he makes sure you go on the easy missions (not too easy because he trusts you), he'll even make you nice little resting spot on his platform/office/desk thingy, he checks up on you, if there's anything you want from your universe or another universe he'll go and get it for you or have Jessica accompany you.

But even after all that, and you still hate him, he's gonna be very emotionally hurt, he doesn't know what he did wrong, he knows his...morals (*cough* beef with a 15 year old miles *cough*) are questionable, but he tries to fix your relationship.

At one point, he wondered if there was a language barrier, so he tried to learn your universe's slang and termology.

It did not go well.

He tries to make bonding experiences at some point (recommended by Peter b), such as, movies, ice cream, the park, jsut sitting on his platform doing your own things but appreciating the others presence even if you aren't talking (this one is for my introverts), he tries to introduce you to other spideys, tries having nice conversations with you.

And after everything, Finally, he tries to talk things out.

"....have I offended you?"

"You don't seem to like me that much...."

".....do you wanna go out?..."

^ quotes by him, trying his best to communicate. (The guy is emotionally constipated.)

Now, there are alot ways of doing this, one, you communicate back on why you hate him (whatever that/those reasons may be), or you don't, which the cycle then repeats of him trying his best and somewhat failing, or even a 3rd option, you communicate and actually stop hating him (unlikely probably since you're reading this)

Hate route (you explain why you hate him and continue hating him):

He is absolutely heartbroken, now that he hears your reasoning, he can't help but somewhat blame himself no matter what it is. (Maybe it's because he chased miles on all fours and didn't let him save his dad, or because of how he literally LEFT his original universe for a better one and abandoned everyone he knew, or maybe cause his personality is just sht, or a variant of him was mean to you, there's alot of possibilities.)

He honestly is a little bit speechless, as he doesn't really know what to do now.

He still tries to be a good father figure (still does everything stated above, the bonding experiences, introducing you to other spideys, getting you packed lunch, etc.)

He starts to put you on longer and longer missions, not because he doesn't wanna see you but because he thinks you need time away from him since you...you know, hate him.

He still brings you packed lunch, puts you on easy missions, makes Jessica get whatever you want from your original universe or any other universe, he's jsut alot more....quiet and sad now while he does it.

He goes out alot on missions now, and blows out alot of his anger and sadness towards himself on some poor innocent anomalies.

He spars alot more, just wanting to find a way to get all this pain outta his system.

He doesn't talk to you that much afterwards, which honestly, is probably heaven for you so have fun bestie! :D (I love miguel slander but I also really love miguel)

"Hey.....I made you (favourite food)"

Hateful Forgiveness route (you communicate why you hate him and stop hating him):

Okay, he's alot more relieved now, especially if it's something he cna fix, if not, that's okay.

After a lot of pestering by Peter and probably Jessica too, he decided to go to family therapy with you.

It's not the best solution, but therapy is therapy, and you can't blame him for trying.

You know that spiderman therapist we see in the movie? Yea, miguel goes to him.

If you don't wanna go to family therapy with him, he'll try and bribe you with food, any food and all food, especially your favorite/and or comfort food.

Once family therapy is over, he'll be...well, alot better, actually.

He's not as emotionally constipated, he's getting better at communicating, and is overall....less angry? Yea, it's honestly a bit weird seeing him try and become better, even if it's for you.

He does get a bit more tired and at peace, he's not as rude or stoic but still very stoic, although there is a clear improvement.

He tries to fix whatever he did to make you hate him, (Maybe it's because he chased miles on all fours and didn't let him save his dad, or because of how he literally LEFT his original universe for a better one and abandoned everyone he knew, or maybe cause his personality is just sht, or a variant of him was mean to you.)

He buys you gifts (man is a billionaire, a MULTI BILLIONAIRE, you're probably really dumb if you think he isn't spoiling the hell outta his kid/hj)

Alot of gifts, as a sort of compensation for whatever happened that made you hate him

Absolutely loves and somewhat abuses the fact you no longer hate him. He's just so happy his kid finally doesn't hate him.

"I bought you this... .....just so you know I'm very proud of you."

-------

Alright, well. Have fun with all those hcs and if you're upset about it being too ooc, we'll, I did warn you in the beginning so you can't sue me! :D

[dirtytransmasc]

Ok

Ok

Hear me out

Miles!42 and Uncle Aaron!42 developing, rather unwillingly, a pretty protective attitude over Miles.

For Miles!42, it's brotherly. He starts viewing Miles as his kid brother.

For Uncle Aaron!42, it's that he sees the kid his Miles used to be before Jeff died and feels he failed to preserve or truly protect.

Miles (42) is so protective, and at first he hates it, cause loving anyone as much as he finds he has begun to love miles, outside of your blood (because this kids worldview is so skewed, I feel like only his mom and his uncle are "safe") is a weakness, a danger, and fuck, he doesn't want to let anyone in ever again. but Miles seems so small and young and almost fragile, in a way that is neither physical or mental, but something else he can't quite place, and he just wants to protect him. its those eyes, still trusting, still warm, but the flame is starting to flicker, and for reasons unknown to him, it makes Miles (42) feel sick. all he did was look at him, he'd broken his chains, taken Miles (42) out, pinned him with his webs, but still his eyes leaked trust and longing, even under the pain and fear. that's when part of him decided Miles (1610) was his brother, that he was something to be protected, that he might as well be blood.

then Miles (1610) begged for the chance to save his dad, their dad, and offered Miles (42) a way out, a hand, into the light, a second chance with his dad. he realizes he doesn't feel alone anymore, like he's in a world where despite having his uncle and his mom, at the end of the day, he was alone; now he has his brother, and he won't let him turn out like him, he won't let that flame die, he won't let him go cold, because he needs him.

so while it is terrifying, he lets Miles (1610) in, he protects him, not just in a physical manner, but emotionally too, even if he isn't the best at it. he makes sure even when they're both trapped in the darkness, with the odds against them, isolated from their worlds, that he feels loved and safe, cause that's what a big brother does.

in short, Miles (42) will kill for Miles (1610), he'll go up against all of spider society, his uncle (in the context of him not being protective of him, which isn't where this post is going, but you get the point), anyone, because his brother will not be alone in the world anymore, dependent on ever-shifting variables as to whether or not he has someone standing behind him. in a way, its easy, even when scary and he doesn't know what to do, he just lets instinct guide him.

the same can't be said for Aaron. seeing Miles (1610) hurts his very soul. he's forced to see how badly he has hurt his Miles, even if it was necessary for their survival, to see the softness that's been stolen from his miles, the warmth, the gentleness, its all been taken away. Miles (1610) is like a second chance, he couldn't save his miles, but he can save this one, and in the process, maybe his own, in away, if already too late to really save him.

he has a harder time connecting with Miles (1610) but he tries, tries to give the kid some sort of reprieve from the grief of losing his own uncle, much like Jeff is giving Miles (42) reprieve from the grief of losing his dad, he tries to soften for both boys, but unfortunately, he's damaged, and his idea of protection isn't as soft, it hasn't been in so long, since he lost Jeff. he tries to be tough on the kid, while also not squashing the good in him, trying to find the balance the failed to find with Miles (42). he's scared of losing the kid, losing his Miles in the process, hell, he's scared of losing himself. he's been terrified of losing his own Miles for so long, he's not sure if he could lose two of them. what's scarier, is like Miles (42), he's losing his edge to the kid,.

so he kinda lurks behind the boys, letting them remain soft and somewhat off gaurd, happy, kids, while he makes sure they're safe. his apartment is open to both of them, but he lets Miles (42) fly the coop, more than ever before.

eventually he would accept that maybe, just maybe, he can let himself soften, that he can be more for his boys than just a scary protector.

Aaron knows he failed once, but doesn't know how to help, doesn't know how to give them the softness they deserve, and once he does, he's scared of it. he wants, needs, to protect them, to protect Miles (1610) so he doesn't become like his Miles, to protect his Miles from losing anymore of himself. in his efforts, he'll fuck up, many a time, sometimes he thinks he's done more harm than good, but he knows, even if both his boys hate him, he will protect them from the world, its the very least he could do.

both of them would do anything to protect Miles (1610), because he's practically blood, but he's also a physical representation of everything they've lost, and they won't lose it again. plus, big brothers are notoriously overprotective, and the same goes for uncles turned father figures.

[bored-storyteller]

WARNING: Angst and spoilers of Spider-Man: across the Spider-Verse. Implied Spider!Reader. I don't know Spanish so I limited myself a lot to try not to spoil anything, even though it's one of the best sides of Miguel. If anyone has any suggestions for me, they're welcome.

Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse, Miguel O'Hara x reader

The right part

You wouldn't be able to say exactly when you gave your affection and trust to Miguel; maybe it was that time when the world seemed a little quieter than usual -although it wasn't for real, of course-, where everything that was important was developed on orange screens and he, the big, thick, arrogant Miguel, worked with little Mayday crawling on his lap.

Spider-man's impassiveness hadn't made you aware of her sweet presence until the little red head had sprouted from over his shoulder, she had looked at you with those big bright eyes and she had smiled at you smugly.

You laughed tenderly and at that point Miguel too turned to look at you to understand what you found so funny.

Well, maybe that was the moment you thought that Miguel O'Hara really could be the really good guy.

But in the same way he can't tell when you became a partner, someone that he should have protected in the first place.

One evening you had dragged yourself to him at his request, evidently exhausted after a mission out of dimension. He could imagine you were tired, but he needed you, and you hadn't complained.

You sat side by side, in silence, each concentrating on his own part of the analysis you were doing.

"A little more..." you had started to murmur at one point, and he remembers it well, because when he had looked at you out of the corner of his eye, it was the first time he had seen you with your sleepy face. Yet, despite this, Miguel didn't expect to feel the weight of your head leaning gently on his shoulder.

Your efforts to stay awake had melted away, and in that moment your face was calm, your cheek pressed against his muscle and it genuinely felt like not even an earthquake could wake you.

As much as he should have woken you up, there was only one thing that was buzzing in his head at that moment: you had completely abandoned yourself to him. You were one of the best people around there in his judgment, and you trusted him enough to completely lower your barriers with him.

"What would I do without you?" He had thought unfiltered in his head, and that fleeting thought had slowly become essential.

And you had become a problem.

Miguel couldn't think of you as someone who could be on the wrong side, at least in big matters, so when you first mentioned that maybe he could let Gwen visit Miles Morales he thought you didn't really understand the situation

"I admit it's risky but...do you really think you can keep them away from each other?" You put your hand on his arm, reassuring, and for a moment he feels you close and accomplice, but you kept talking: "they can change things."

Neither he nor you knew what things two unconscious little teens had to change, but he wasn't surprised that your sensitivity was moved by their distance.

And it hurts him that before your eyes he was passing for the villain of the situation.

“No soy el malo.” He'd muttered to himself, in a vague plea to make that thought a reality, and then he'd turned to you trying to remain calm and maybe somewhat kind: “Look, I don't do it because I'm happy to do it. But I know what happens when the canon breaks, you know, and Miles Morales-”

“You can't compare him to you. It's different, the dynamics are different."

You'd interrupted him with a seriousness he'd never seen on your face, but he certainly wouldn't falter before you, though his eyebrows had drawn together in a look of painful questioning.

“It's the same thing, you know what I lost-” He tried to tell you, but you were even stronger.

"Your Life. But was that your life?”

You had spoken those words with a firmness he hadn't expected, and for a fraction he stood there motionless, speechless and out of breath, as if he had just been punched in the stomach, one of those punch that completely empty the lungs.

His subconscious understood the implication of that question, but he wasn't ready to accept it. But what if that meant giving up on you? Giving up what might really have been his, of that one Miguel O'Hara?

He didn't know how to react, because his claws were pressing, he wanted to shout, but it wasn't what he had to do, he knew it. He hadn't hit rock bottom yet.

You watched him expectantly, as if you were waiting patiently for him to woke up from too deep a sleep; but he saw the exact moment you gave up, the moment you looked down and started turning to leave.

And his hands had grabbed your shoulders: “Repítalo.” A break. "Repeat it."

He had growled it, a low growl that he really didn't want to let out though, because he didn't want to be like that with you, and he really didn't want to hear those words again.

But you weren't afraid, even though he was hurting you as he held you in his grip. His fingers loosened slowly, not enough to let you go but allowing you a softer, more careful touch.

There was a sorry stuck in his throat that desperately wanted to get out, but he couldn't take it, he couldn't.

“No, Miguel. Forget it." You told him with an infinite sweetness in your eyes, looking at him with a feeling that he was afraid to call by name.

Your hand had reached up, caressed his cheek and he, despite himself, had leaned a little against your palm, looking for your presence.

"I don’t want to hurt you." You told him, and he believed you and accepted it.

He couldn't and can't picture you on the wrong side, so you should be together, next to each other. Yet when he passes you to chase Miles Morale, Miguel knows you won't be with him.

You didn't try to stop the kid, despite everything and everyone, despite him asking you to.

You, one of the best people he knows. He can't believe you're choosing the wrong side.

“We are the good guys.” He says. “We are.” He repeats.

He repeats it to the crowd of heroes in front of him, but he repeats it to himself, to his chest and to his heart.

He's the good guy there, he must be. But you can't be the bad one.

He knows you'd subscribe to Mayday's raspberry if you weren't busy avoiding looking at him. He knows you'll be close to Peter as soon as he's gone.

He would like to tell you too that he doesn't need you, that he doesn't want you, he would like to save his arrogant pride and show you that it's not you who chooses not to be with him, it's him who chases you away. But Miguel O'Hara isn't heartless, he couldn't lie that stupidly.

You don't look at him when he stops in front of you, and he doesn't look at you either. He doesn't want to see when what might have been his life slips out of his hands.

“Are you going to hate me for this?”

If you're going to end his hopes, he wants you to do it now.

You're surprised, he knows it, you know you're now trying to study his expression - his pain - that he tries to hide from you.

"Let’s go out together." You say, your voice is cracked and weak “when this is all over, let's go out and have some fun for once. Okay?”

His instinct tells him to take you in his arms, but his fists clench and for a moment his eyes closed shut, pushing something inside him that threatens to come out.

Here is your special power, your disarming heart, your love for him that goes beyond tragedy. He knows you're not sure there will still be a together for you two when this is all over, but you hope so.

And as he walks away from you in silence, he knows that you are one of the best people he knows, the only future that still shines, and that you will try to save him. Maybe you won't succeed, because not even a hero can save everyone, but you will try, and you will believe until the end.

[o-solemioo]

Hey there!! I saw your introduction and I was wondering if maybe you could write a angsty miles Morales x reader, preferably gender neutral. Sorry lol that's not much to go on but yeah!!

Thanks, I'm looking forward to seeing your writing (if you choose to write this ask of course)

hello anon,

thank you so much for your ask !! i love these movies (and writing angst), so i'm happy to be able to have an excuse to write for them. this might be a bit short but i hope you enjoy it.

remember, you are loved, ๏siris ☾ ⋆･ﾟ:⋆･ﾟ

— how to disappear completely

☾ pairing: 1610!miles morales/gn!reader ☾ summary: "don't you trust me?" "i don't know." or miles telling you he's spiderman didn't go exactly as he planned. ☾ warnings: 2nd person (you), angst, hurt no comfort, very minor homophobia metaphor if you squint, swearing, crying and anxiety attacks, implied sh (nothing graphic), miles being sad :( ☾ w๏rd c๏unt: 439

---

Miles hadn't planned to tell you for a while. If we're being honest, Miles hadn't planned to tell you for a long while.

But he knew he needed to be more careful, and lounging around in his suit was, in fact, a stupid idea. It slipped his mind that you two were supposed to be hanging out today.

You laughed it off when you walked in. "Didn't know you were a cosplayer, Miles," you chuckled. It was only when you saw his terrified face that you knew. And boy, did you know instantly. Even Miles knew he couldn't get out if this one with a quick-witted lie. He just stared at you, waiting for your response.

He knew it wasn't going to be great, but he wasn't expecting what you did.

"Are you fucking kidding me!? This whole time I thought you were busy studying, you were out swinging around? When I thought you were being picked on, you were actually willingly fighting these dumb, comic-book supervillains!?" You ranted, you knew it was hurting him but you were hurt too, he was lying to you for so long, you just didn't know what else to do with yourself.

"I believed you! I was worried about you! ...If you would've told me sooner I would've been fine, but it's been damn near a year, Miles." By the time you finished your rant, Miles was crying, and you were too. He didn't want to say anything, he just wanted to curl up into a little ball and hide.

"I did it to protect you," Miles choked out. "I need you to trust me, don't you trust me?" He looked you in the eye for the first time in about ten minutes.

"...I don't know." With that, you were gone. You just needed to think, to clear your head.

Miles didn't know what to do with himself. As much as you were harsh, you were right. He did lie to you; and a lot, in retrospect. He just wanted to protect you, even if he knew you could protect yourself.

He tried to steady his breathing, but his hearing was starting to become fuzzy. He needed a glass of water, but he felt like he couldn't move. He sat there for a long time, silent, trying to ground himself.

Even when he finally felt somewhat like himself again, he moved around on autopilot. Drink water. Set an alarm. Do something you won't be proud of in the morning. Sleep. And sleep. And sleep.

And when you finally do wake up, look in the mirror and make sure you still want to disappear.

---

very short and i didn't proofread this, i hope it doesn't have too many spelling/grammar mistakes >.<

[skeletinmoss]

The curse of the dark Phoenix

Chapter 9: The moonflower

First chapter | Previous | Next

Roman was woken up by Logan.

It was time to eat and continue their journey. Virgil was readjusting his cape and offered Roman a small smile.

Roman cocked his head and tried to feel the exact mood behind it. He hadn’t really sought out their bond before now. He’d just experienced it as it happened.

Reaching out now he could feel that Virgil was a little curious, hopeful, but still filled with worry and guilt.

Roman tried to respond with reassurance and Virgil seemed to accept that and relax somewhat.

Roman felt a little pleased with himself at managing to comfort Virgil. Which made the high mage chuckle causing him to blush at being caught.

“If you both are quite finished with… Whatever that was. We should head out,” Logan insisted.

Virgil nodded and broke the circle. Roman felt a weird shift. As if the ground under him suddenly started moving.

He looked at Virgil who smiled at him in reassurance. This was normal.

He relaxed and gathered his things to follow his friends and their guide down the stairs.

“I trust you had a good rest,” their host greeted as he laid out a delicious smelling lunch.

Virgil was hit with a wave of nostalgia and Roman carefully bumped his shoulder

They sat down, thanked their host and started eating.

"I presume we will cut into our travel time now that we have been granted use of the inn then?" Logan reasoned.

"Not really. There is a village I need to visit to stock up on moonflowers. Their healing properties are too potent to go without and I’m not holding out hope my garden held out all these years. Not to mention prepping them for use would cost more time than we'd save with the short cut," Virgil explained.

Logan and Patton flinched, but Roman... he wasn’t as affected as he was yesterday. Maybe using dark magic had mellowed him out. He’d held a Moonflower in his hand and used it’s magic to help those people and he had felt no negative effects. Maybe walking a mile in Virgil's shoes had more influence on him than he'd thought.

He had other concerns though.

"Moonflowers aren't exactly legal anymore. So you might not find what you are looking for there," he pointed out.

"Maybe. But it is worth a try at the very least.”

The group nodded and Virgil took out his message stone.

"Re, I know you only just received my last message, but I wanted to let you know we are maybe 3 days away from saving you. I'll see you soon okay?" He offered. Looking at the stone for a long moment, hopeful and worried, before putting it away with a disappointed sigh.

No one commented on it. They finished their breakfast, bid the innkeepers a good day and promised to return soon.

They mounted the horses, Virgil offering to ride this time and went on their way to make as much headway as possible before the sun rose.

Roman was pretty sure he caught Virgil casting an enchantment on the horses before lighting another magic torch. Likely reinvigorating them to compensate for their lack of proper rest.

Virgil would want them to cover as much ground during nighttime as possible of course.

Roman settled a little more comfortably behind Virgil than he would have yesterday. Trusting that he'd know if V got uncomfortable with their closeness.

Logan took the reins of his and Patton's horse. He couldn't read in the dark anyway and this way Patton got a break.

"So... how did you three end up stuck together?" Virgil wondered casually. Trying to make small talk.

Luckily for him they were all more than happy to tell the story.

"Well. We don't remember not knowing each other honestly," Patton allowed.

"Indeed my earliest memory to date is waking up in a cart full of hay in the midday sun with the both of you," Logan recalled, making his friends aw all over him.

"Patton's family owns a farm near the town where Logan and I lived. On one fateful market day Patton was brought along with his mother while Logan was out with his parents selling their crafts and I was out with mine browsing the wares.," Roman recalled.

"Roman's parents are merchants," Patton offered helpfully. Roman nodded.

"Apparently I became fast friends with Patton and the two of us basically bullied Logan to play with us too. I spent quite some time at their houses whenever my parents were out for business," he explained.

"We were quite attached to each other and all fascinated by stories of the world before the magic plague and the heroics of the arch mage," Logan added.

"And then it turned out we all had magic and we went to school together and dreamed of one day finding out what happened to the arch mage. And now we are here," Patton finished.

"Quite a story," Virgil said amused.

"I met mine at school. We had different backgrounds but we clicked right away anyway. It was a relief honestly," Virgil recalled fondly.

Roman was about to offer some comfort but then a bird flying over spooked him.

"We should get back to a main road soon..." Logan mused nervously, his mind back to the situation at hand.

"How so...?" Virgil wondered.

"The roads are less safe at night. Especially narrow and dark ones," Roman offered. Though he couldn’t feel too scared pressed against Virgil's back.

Virgil was about to press the issue but a beastly growl interrupted him... they'd been spotted.

Their horses halted, stepping in place nervously. They weren't trained for dangerous roads...

"Hush," Virgil whispered. Tracing a pattern in the air, the release of magic calming the group as a whole.

He got of their horse and slowly walked out in front of them, holding the magic torch he'd made out in front of him.

A low hissing came at them through the foliage and finally the creature stalked into view.

It was easily as large as their horses. Black scales shimmering in the moonlight like black gems. Spikes ran across the spine and tail of the long body and a strong trunk hung between large tusks.

The spines and eyes of the creature glowed with some sort of magic.

"Well you aren't happy to see us," Virgil mused.

Roman eyed the creature worriedly. He'd heard of the Forest Dragon. They were one of many reasons you should not travel the roads at night.

The creature hissed again and moved as if it was about to charge, his spikes humming with power. But V disappeared and reappeared right behind it.

It turned around fast and Virgil grabbed it by the tusks and used its momentum to swing up into its neck holding on tight as it tried to throw him off.

Virgil gritted his teeth. Roman calmed himself with Virgil's calm focus. He wasn’t afraid or worried. It would be fine...

After a few attempts to slam Virgil into a tree that made it very hard for Roman to remain calm and not distract him, Virgil finally caught a break long enough for him to lay his hand on the creature's head. Its eyes and spikes glowing with Virgil's purple magic, though there was some red shining through... huh. The beast settled and Virgil got off. Hummed to himself, made a pattern and then the creature slowly walked away.

"It's territory has been invaded by another... once we got things in order we gotta do some wild keeping... is it like this everywhere?" He asked as he got back on the horse and urged it onward.

"Um... well... if you mean massive magical creatures making the roads unsafe at night... yes..." Patton admitted.

"My parents said it wasn’t this bad when the arch mage was still around," Roman offered.

"Hm... I guess it's not easy doing the job of ten high mages by yourself. And that’s just the wildlife. Don't get why he didn’t teach anyone how to do this though..." Virgil mused.

“Was… Bull riding dragons a regular activity for the high mages back in the day?” Logan asked.

Virgil chuckled. “Not for me. I haven’t done that in a long while. Even if I had been a wild-keeper, magical creatures didn’t tend to be this hostile towards humans, let alone a high mage. They know better. Or they did…

It's not Gustav’s fault really. From the sounds of it he spent twenty years trying to do all of our jobs by himself… I wish he’d reached out to Someone for help. Even if he didn’t find anyone who was willing to ascend, a great mage or even a well practiced common mage would have been able to lighten the load… There’s a lot more to do than I thought,” Virgil mused.

“So… What you are saying is… The dragons used to be nice?” Patton asked curiously.

“Well… I wouldn’t keep one as a pet… But most magical creatures would leave humans alone at the very least, even the carnivorous ones. I was kind of surprised that those wolves attacked us yesterday. I figured they must’ve been extremely hungry. But now…” Virgil mused.

Roman saw Patton light up. “So… I could pet them?” he pressed.

Virgil looked at Patton and Roman felt his curiosity almost push into his mind. Roman could guess the question. He pressed himself into Virgil’s back and let his fond exasperation at his friend’s almost detrimental love for creatures of all kinds respond for him.

Virgil chuckled. “Remus is going to love showing you all his favorite creatures once you can keep up with him,” he concluded.

Patton seemed to have completely forgotten about the worrisome title this particular friend of Virgil’s had gained for himself. He was just beaming at the prospect of one day petting all those creatures.

Virgil shook his head and focused on the road ahead.

“Any other dangers I should be aware off,” he mused after a bit. “Just so I can prepare,” he added.

“Nocturnal great beasts and bandits are our main concern,” Logan stated. “The light will likely attract both,” he added, looking at the magical torch.

Virgil hummed in understanding. “Delays by bad guys and grumpy beasts are likely… Got it,” he nodded pensively.

After a few moments of contemplation, Virgil waved the torch and from the light sprung phantom butterflies that fluttered all around them.

"Oooh!!!" Patton breathed in awe. Giggling as one briefly landed on his nose.

"I don't understand..." Logan admitted.

“Their form depends on if you are a danger to me. Any threat will see them as a danger sign," Virgil assured him. "And if they don't scare them off they'll warn us that something is approaching."

Logan nodded, feeling reassured.

"That is such a cool spell! Can you teach me!?" Patton gushed as he made a butterfly land on his hand.

"Sure. First you'll need a light..."

And for the next hour Virgil taught Patton how to make a magic torch. It wasn’t as bright as Virgil's but he insisted it was a good first try. The next three he spent helping him separate a piece of it and give it purpose... Patton grew a bit disappointed as he struggled to hold onto an orb, never mind giving it form.

"I've had a lot of practice. You just learned to make light on a stick. Which i don’t get. You don't even Need any support for that. None of you made an: we aren't allowed to do that face. So why don't you know how to make a torch?" Virgil wondered.

"We know how to make fire... maybe it just went out of style. Frivolous magics are generally considered a waste of energy," Logan offered.

Virgil huffed.

"Was... were there any rules in your day? Other than don't curse anyone...?" Roman wondered while Patton set his orb free and watched it float away a few feet before flickering out.

"You are getting better at it Patton. You gotta let it go. Don't try to hold on so much. Set it free and trust it will do what it is meant to," Virgil instructed before turning his attention to Roman.

"Oh there was illegal stuff. There were mages with the explicit job of finding dangerous herbs and either destroying them or putting up wards to make sure no one harvested them in secret. Not that that meant they weren't used at all. There have been kings who resorted to Rose Nettles to flip a spy. Zimmer Root has been used in torture... I only know about that because Janus was always up to his neck in the intricacies of court life. He kept unsavory things from me until after the king in question ended his reign. Not because he condoned it. Magical vows of loyalty are no joke," Virgil mused.

"Those are level eights..." Roman mused.

"Thats bad right?" Virgil wondered.

"The worst," Roman nodded.

"Well. Those are. We'll have to compare notes. I wouldn’t want you to pick up something that's actually nasty just because I made you think it’s a free for all," he offered.

Roman hummed into his back. Thinking back to the Rose Nettles he'd seen in the box back at the tower... no. Other subject.

"Your magic... it's a little red," he pointed out.

Virgil chuckled. "It is now. Thats a magic bond for you," he pointed out. Roman felt himself blush. Suddenly Virgil halted and got off, handing Roman the reigns. The sun was rising.

“Patton, keep practicing to let go of your magic. If you don’t believe it can last without you it won’t. So start with a simple command. I know you can do it,” he instructed seriously before turning to them as a group. “That's it for me for now. We should stop for some breakfast anyway." He suggested casually. Roman could feel his frustration though. He didn’t like being trapped like this.

Roman didn’t get a chance to say something. A flash of purple with a soft glow of red later and they all once again were looking at Virgil's Phoenix form.

They all got off their horses. “He has a point. It’s been a while since any of us ate. The horses will appreciate the rest and some fresh grass,” Logan pointed out.

They all nodded and led the horses to a small clearing on the side of the road where they let them graze as they gathered around for some breakfast in the increasing glow of the sunrise.

“So. I suppose we should try to contact the council again? At least see if the message has been passed on,” Roman mused as he held up his hand for Virgil to eat from.

“That would be a good idea. I’m a bit worried that we haven’t heard anything at all from them after being away for two days,” Logan mused.

“… Do you think Terance told the king as well? He did ask to be kept in the know of any findings…”

Paton wondered.

Roman looked at Virgil who was pretending to be too focused on his breakfast to follow the conversation. But he could feel that he was not.

The king had fond memories of this mage… Had he been hoping they’d find a clue as to what truly happened to his old mentor?

Roman didn’t even know their king had magic. Had he turned out less talented than Virgil had thought?

“If he didn’t, the king might end up reaching out to us himself…” Roman said worriedly.

Logan nodded. “Keeping our findings a secret will be… More complicated if that happens,” he mused.

“Would that be treason?” Patton asked worriedly.

“Let’s not worry about that just yet. We’ll discuss it with Virgil when he can talk again what he wants us to do if the king asks for our progress,” Roman suggested.

“We could say that we found strong evidence that the arch mage was looking into the night flame and that Noctora had a secondary residence and we are following up on both leads as fast as we can,” Logan mused.

Roman nodded. “We’ll see…” he allowed starting on his own breakfast after Virgil indicated he was satisfied.

After they were done eating, Roman retrieved the stone and cleared his throat.

“Great Mage Roman for the Council?” he called out a bit nervous now.

“Great Mage!” the reply came at once. “Ah, Terance again. Sorry, the council is still in a meeting… They have been since you three left honestly. We aren’t supposed to interrupt… Did you get to your destination?” Terence wondered.

“No, but we are making headway on deciphering some notes. Nothing concrete yet though. Only hope for answers. To more questions than we left with actually,” Roman offered.

“Oh?” Terence wondered.

“It’s too early to make any promises. But we should be returning with interesting findings,” Roman promised.

“Good! That’s great! I’ll leave you to it then! Good luck!!!” Terance bid. And then the stone went silent.

Roman put it away, frowning. “I know it’s good for us that there are no critical ears around him. But…”

Logan nodded. “Yeah. For the council to isolate themselves at this time… It is quite odd,” he agreed.

Patton gathered their things thoughtfully. “If it was something bad. Then Terence would tell us. He's a good kid,” he insisted.

None of them could argue against that, and it did make them feel a bit better. If Terence thought for even a moment something weird was going on he’d most likely defer to them to know what to do. After the council they were highest in rank in the wizard community…

Except… Roman supposed the king counted as part of the community… But he was highest in rank anyway. Terence would likely inform them and the king both regardless. Or be horrible at trying to hide it if the king ordered him to keep his worries to himself.

They continued on their journey once they ensured their horses were fed and watered sufficiently.

Virgil flew up. Scanned a bit of the road ahead for trouble and then returned to perch on Roman's shoulder. Roman found himself having an easier time understanding him than he had the days before. Holding semi conversations with him in a way through feelings and body language

Curiosity when Virgil landed on his shoulder. "How is it looking?"

Settling more comfortably and a happy feeling.

"No troubles for a good while"

A look at his position and bemused fondness. "You alright up there?"

Fond nibbling at his ear.

"Hush I'm napping here."

Or something along those lines.

As they progressed Patton kept practicing making a little orb exist separately from him, under the occasional gentle encouraging caw of Virgil.

By the time lunch came around he managed to make it float by his side for a few minutes before it dissolved. He was a bit disappointed Virgil had just been on one of his scouting flights to find a good lunch spot and hadn't seen him do it.

Not as disappointed as Logan was with his lack of progress. He almost skipped lunch, but Virgil was having none of that.

"Ow!" Logan called out when Virgil bit at his ear.

"Why would you do that?" He demanded. Virgil nodded to the lunch that was being set up and then held Logan's gaze for a long moment. Roman didn’t think that needed a translation.

"Fine," the diviner huffed as he put the journal away and joined his friends.

"Having a rough time?" Roman wondered as he once again fed Virgil before starting his own meal.

"It's not letting me past at all. Every time I feel like I have a grasp off the enchantment it snaps back with more force than before. I didn’t have anywhere near this much trouble yesterday," he complained.

Virgil chirped something, feeling unbothered, then he hopped over to Logan and chirped in encouragement. At least it felt the way it did whenever he had tried to hype Patton up.

"What?" Logan asked, exasperated.

"I think he is telling you that this was to be expected but to keep going at it," Roman offered.

Logan looked at him skeptically and then back to Virgil, who nodded.

"How?" He asked baffled.

"I'm getting better at interpreting his feelings and stuff," Roman shrugged. He didn't mention that he suspected that their link got stronger as their actual relationship grew. And since the baseline was: complete strangers, and it was (hopefully) heading towards a romantic connection... he wasn't sure what That would mean for their link if he was right.

"Hm," logan mused and then he went back to eating. Once their horses were ready to go again they got on and resumed their respective activities to pass the time and to not think too much about the implications of the council being unreachable.

Roman tried to see how long he could feel Virgil's presence through their link and if he could feel him returning before he could see him. It seemed there was quite a radius on this connection...

He did keep an eye on the road though... at least he thought he had.

"What's wrong Roman?" Patton wondered as Roman halted them.

"Um... we are supposed to go straight ahead," he said studying the map.

“Roman-”

“I am aware that there is no road Logan. That is why I’m stopping… I’m hoping Virgil will come back and… Hmmm…” Roman could feel Virgil approaching, but before he came into view he got farther away again…

“He’s confused too… And frustrated,” Roman concluded.

Logan dug through his pockets and moments later his eyes glowed blue.

“Hm. There used to be a road here. But it must’ve gotten overgrown over the years,” Logan stated as he got of his and Patton’s horse.

“Oh… No wonder Virgil is frustrated. This means we’ll have to take a longer way to his home right?” Patton mused.

“We’ll have to wait for him to turn back human and talk about it,” Roman shrugged.

“Nonsense. With all that talk about the earth having a memory I’d think the solution is rather obvious,” Logan huffed as he dug through his pouches again, reached for a book for a moment before thinking better of it. He sat himself down on the ground to meditate for a moment.

Roman just felt Virgil approach again when a soft blue glow surrounded Logan and his magic cut through the forest, lining out a path as far as Roman could tell.

And to his amazement the entire stretch of forest on this road, seemed to step aside to make room for the forgotten pathway…

What!?

Logan got up and dusted himself off, looking satisfied with the result.

“Hm. That went surprisingly well,” he mused. Was he being serious right now?

“I’ll say. It looked pretty impressive to watch the forest part from above. What are you going to call that one?” They all looked back and saw Virgil now back in his human form as the sun had gone down while they’d been staring at the newly reformed road.

“Pardon?” Logan asked.

“Well. As far as I know, no one’s ever made a forest split to make a path like that without destroying habitats. So what are you going to call that spell, Great Wizard Mage Logan of the forgotten roads?” he pressed.

“Wait… You mean this is official? I have… I have made a new spell?” Logan gasped.

“Being a High Mage, linked to the academy for that matter… Yes I have that authority,” Virgil confirmed.

Logan was beaming and looked back at his road.

“I think I’ll call it restoration reforestation,” he mused.

Virgil chuckled. “Good one. Thank you, by the way. This saved us a very long detour,” he added before getting on his and Roman’s horse.

Logan nodded weightily at Virgil and joined Patton on their horse.

Roman let out a sigh. He was going to be insufferable about being first, wasn’t he?

“Virgil, about the notes. You seemed to have thoughts on it, but as Roman’s, admittedly impressive, translations aren’t quite fluent yet, perhaps you could elaborate?” Logan asked. His tone strangely formal but also more comfortable talking to Virgil than he had been since meeting him. Well, giving him a special recognition of his talents that hasn’t been awarded to anyone in the past half century would make him warm up to someone.

He was not quite ready to drop decorum around him completely. But that was to be expected.

Virgil was still a high mage. And far more experienced and connected than them even with being gone for fifty years. Logan had actually been rather direct and confrontational with him all things considered.

“Sure. It’s not uncommon for the first protection to be obvious and easy. It’s supposed to stroke the ego of the mage or wizard who’s trying to read the text and make them misjudge their own abilities. So either they won’t notice the second layer, or they get too frustrated with not being able to break through the second one as easy and give up. Considering this encryption was still fairly noticeable, I’d assume there is another one better hidden underneath this one. So just so you are prepared. The type of encryption will also be very different. You’d be surprised how many mages will just get stuck on trying the same thing over and over again even if it’s clear that it doesn’t work like that this time,” Virgil listed.

Logan nodded. “Yes I noticed that the method I used yesterday didn’t do much. I have been trying to get a hold of the magic but it just slips through my fingers,” he admitted.

“Have you tried starting somewhere where you know what should be underneath? From what I read it’s all covered in metaphors and embellishment, so maybe start with something where you are reasonably certain of what you’ll find underneath. The more concrete the better.

So, a name or a place or a date,” Virgil explained.

Logan nodded. “Yes… I think I see what you mean. Thank you. I will make another attempt before we settle for another rest. You will be teaching us a more advanced method of this sleeping ritual?” he asked.

Virgil quirked his brow. “Yes. But I will remind you again that you shouldn’t overdo it. Nap responsibly,” he pointed out.

Logan nodded. “Of course. Overburdening my body is not my intent. But saving seven hours even half of the days… It is quite exciting,” he insisted.

Virgil smirked, a nostalgic fondness filling him and flowing into Roman’s mind. Hm… Logan must remind him of someone.

“We’ll be at the town soon. Sooner if these beauties feel like a quick sprint…?” Virgil suggested.

“Well, we can see if they have it in them,” Logan mused.

“Or we can ask,” Virgil pointed out. Roman felt him shift behind him.

“Excuse me. Do you two feel up for a quick race to the other side of this stretch of forest, there will be food and rest and water there,” he offered. The horses neighed and shook their heads in excitement.

“They’re game,” Virgil smirked.

Patton let out a squeal. He’d always wanted to learn animal speech spells but they’d all struggled a bit with the material. Virgil had proven a good teacher though, so maybe he’d have more luck explaining it.

“Well let’s go then,” Roman smirked. And so they were off, racing down the road. Roman enjoying the way Virgil held onto his waist and pressed into his back as the world flashed them by so fast they might as well be flying…

And then they were out of the forest and moments later the road opened up into a town. This one less of a farmer community, there was a large lake nearby with a river feeding into it so Roman assumed that this town was more of a fish based economy.

Though that didn’t have to mean that there was no food or herb growing going on.

“Whoa, there. Well done. Let’s get you darlings some first class treatment alright?” Virgil smiled as he got off. He felt at home here. It made Roman smile to see him so at ease. But also worried. Time was bound to hit him again…

Virgil led them through the village with the confidence of someone who'd walked this path many times.

He brought them to an inn where he arranged for their horses to be fed and watered and given a place to rest for a few hours. He paid and asked the innkeeper if the "bosh" family still lived here.

The innkeeper seemed surprised but gave directions that amused Virgil. He thanked her and led them on.

"Still the same old house. The son should be in his sixties now. I wonder if he'd recognize me. He was a kid when I was last here..." Virgil smiled, excited.

Roman shared a look with his friends. It seemed the relief of not having to make a detour and the adrenaline of the race had Virgil feeling optimistic...

Roman was glad, but also worried that this visit wouldn't go the way Virgil was hoping for.

They approached the two story house surrounded by a flower garden. Nothing that Ro recognized as a magic honing plant though...

Virgil knocked on the door undeterred.

A young man opened the door.

"Can I help you?" The young man asked.

"Very likely. Can you tell me what the most talented herbiologist family does for a living nowadays?" He asked. The man paled and stepped outside and closed the door.

"Who are you? Did the council send you to make sure we were still "behaving"? He hissed.

"Hm. Seems I’ll have to straighten out a few of those Council members. But no. Genuinely curious. It seems a waste of the gathered knowledge of 12 generations... I suppose you would be the 15th, since Zoë went into the forest to log all she could about wild growing herbs until she could provide perfect growing conditions in her own garden for each. She practically lived in that forest for 15 years before she went from a gatherer of herbs to someone the magical community came to for her homegrown herbs." Virgil recalled. Roman should have guessed that Virgil likely knew this family since their beginning.

"... yes... I... I’m a florist, actually. My mother took the knowledge on herbs and applied it on flowers. I'm trying to add tea and kitchen herbs to our wares, but...I haven't been granted permission yet," the young man admitted.

Virgil nodded a bit saddened.

"What is all that ruckus about...?” An elderly voice came from the other side of the door before it opened.

"Nothing, grandpa, please go back inside," the young man insisted gently.

The old man took in the lot of them, and his eyes widened in shock. "Master Virgil... is that really you?" he gasped. Apparently, he recognized him.

"Hello Lucas. It is a long story and one I'm not ready to share before all the pieces are clear.

But I do find myself in need of something from the old garden. You wouldn't happen to have kept your mischief going, would you?" Virgil smirked knowingly.

The man grinned and turned, beckoning them to follow.

"When that Gustav man became arch mage, whatever that was supposed to mean, he sent guards to every herb seller in the kingdom. That was when we learned why master Janus was late to pick up his tea order. I still have it, by the way. I took good care of it.

Mother was heartbroken, and then they burned the garden down. But I saved some of it while they were telling mother and father their orders. No one was minding me. And I prepared them all the way mother taught me." They had made it to what Roman assumed had to be the old man's bedroom. He knelt down and removed an old floorboard underneath which he had stashed several boxes of likely very illegal herbs.

"Grandpa!" The grandson exclaimed in astonishment as Virgil opened them and grinned from ear to ear.

"Moonflowers! Lucas, you are a hero. All of this will be very helpful. And I will give Janus the tea. Thank you. You've done your family proud," he stated sincerely.

"Grandpa!" The young man repeated more insistently.

"Sam. When a high mage needs something, you provide it. Especially when it is one who is such a dear old friend of the family," Lucas scolded. Sam paled. "High..." he breathed.

Lucas turned to Virgil without a word. "I never believed you were truly gone, master Virgil." He insisted. "And I am not alone. You have quite a few friends you can still count on if you knock at their door," he promised. Virgil smiled and took the elderly man's hand. "I know. Take care, Lucas. If I have it my way, things will be set right soon," he promised.

There were tears in the man's eyes and he nodded. Patting his hand. "Good. Good. Now you go rest up and head home. You still have ways to go. And I didn’t manage to get hold of enough amber roots to hasten your trip. I will get started on teaching my grandson and my daughter of their heritage while you fix things. Next harvest will be a bountiful one," he mused. Virgil nodded, pulled at the old man's ear, making him laugh, put the boxes away with care and rose to look at them. "Rest and then we head straight home," he announced with tangible relief.

[timaeusterrored]

(The Pool Boy)

((Remember that one post I made waaaaay back in the early days when everything was cool? Yeah well I’m finally writing it))

Kerry Eurodyne remembers a time when he would have been embarrassed by Ariel seeing the state of the villa after a long night. But now he couldn’t find it in himself to care. Both were used too it, just as much as Kerry was used to being shaken to make sure he was still alive and Ariel starting conversations way too early.

“Kerry! Up! Breakfast!” Ariel was two seconds from pouring water over the rocker if he wasn’t up in the next five seconds. Kerry knew the annoyance in his voice, this song and dance happened every morning.

The rocker followed the smell of food and winced at the bright lights, attempting to dim them but immediately got scolded by his cook. Claiming he ‘needed them.’ Kerry just figured he was in a bitchy mood today. Or maybe he himself was in the bitchy mood.

Ariel was talking a mile a minute while Kerry stared at his back and tried so hard to focus on what he was saying, but failed miserably. What on earth was this man on today?

“Kerry!”

The older man winced, putting his hands over his ears for a moment. Was Ariel’s voice always so loud? Or was Kerry just extremely hungover? When was the last time he was this hungover?

“Did you hear anything I just said?” If anyone saw them right now, Ariel could have been confused for a disgruntled lover not getting paid attention too.

“No, I didn’t. What the fuck did you say?” God he sounded awful. Ariel just rolled his eyes and put on a pot of tea.

“I said that we have a new guy coming in. He’s on the younger side so be nice. He’s gonna be helping Miguel out, with the pool or something. I dunno.”

“I’m always nice-“

“Remember that time I came in and you launched a bottle at my head at full force.”

“Hey now, that was only because you came in at fuckin five am while I was in the zone, that was your fault.”

Ariel flipped him off then placed a heavenly plate of food in front of him. Kerry ate slowly, trying to keep himself from throwing up, and any mention of the pool boy gone from his mind- Ker don’t call him a pool boy this is not a porno.

The thought made him laugh and Ariel looked up from his own food in confusion. Kerry stated once that Ariel could eat whatever he wanted, he cooked the food he should be allowed to enjoy it! And if he came in early enough, Miguel was welcome to join them too… Kerry needed to stop hiring only men. He wasn’t even attracted to either of them, it just happened.

Ariel forced Kerry to drink the tea and honey he had made him, stating with as renowned as Kerry was for his voice, he took absolutely awful care of it. If Ariel knew Kerry when he was in his early years, he’d know Kerry was a princess about his voice. Now his chrome did most of the work and Kerry stopped caring as much. At this rate, Kerry was going to sing himself into the grave.

After breakfast was said and done and Kerry decided to be somewhat human today and take a shower, he wondered about the new hire. Honestly he wondered if he had been told at all, or had just not been listening when it came up. Either way, he trusted his gardener to not hire some complete clown.

What he wasn’t expecting was a complete piece of Night City beauty standing by his pool, talking to Miguel. He was tall, built like a fucking merc, and had gorgeous red hair Kerry wanted to grab. Oh and he also didn’t look a day past at least 26. And Kerry wasn’t sure if he had reached that level of his celebrity meltdown yet of dating a guy that young.

“Absolutely not, Kerry Eurodyne.” The voice behind him made him jump out of his skin. He needed a fucking bell on Ariel at this point, who was packed and ready to go to the store to restock Kerry’s fridge. “That kid is like 28 and way not prepared to deal with you.”

“Deal with me?” Kerry asked, offended now.

“You know exactly what I mean, Ker. Don’t fuck your pool boy, that’s just pathetic.” Ariel wasn’t wrong… but fuck.

Over the next few weeks, Kerry had for the most part, stayed out of the kid’s way. He learned his name was V, when Kerry asked Miguel if that was it, he was told that’s all the pool boy told anyone. He was from Heywood, his dad was apparently a ripperdoc in the city, and he liked boxing. Pretty basic if you asked Kerry.

But the weird part was that no one had seen him actually get into the pool. He somehow managed to avoid doing it every single time he was there, doing his work from the sidelines. He did a damn good job of it too, they were just impressed he could do it.

He was normally in and out, doing his job quickly and quietly to a point that Kerry honestly kinda forgot about him… until one morning.

Kerry had been on another work binge, up all night writing and composing, when he just happened to still be up when V’s car rolled up. It was a hunk of junk and Kerry noted he needed to look at his pay. Pretty boy like that deserved better than a junk car.

It was way too early for any normal human being to be up and at em, but Kerry supposed he was awake too. Maybe it was high time for and introduction. Kerry forgot he actually had to introduce himself to people.

He walked out of the villa once he had put some more presentable clothes on, a cup of coffee warming his hands as the door slid shut behind him. The pool boy was hard at work, doing… whatever it was he did with the pool. Kerry actually had never taken care of this thing on his own… had his fame really made him this lazy.

“Bit early for a swim, ain’t it?” That was his opener? Dear god he was rusty. Alright, Ker, put on the charm.

The man turned his head over his shoulder in confusion, then his eyes widened. Kerry heard him swear before he stood up, drying his hands on a pair of cargo pants. Seriously what was this dude’s deal? How do you work on a pool and not get in?

“Shit I’m sorry, hope I didn’t wake you up- uh, Mr. Eurodyne?” He said it like a question, like he was testing what Kerry preferred to be called.

“Kerrys fine, kid. And I wasn’t sleeping, so you’re fine on that front… never answered my question though. The hell are you doing here at 5:30 in the morning?”

Fuck what was this dude’s name? Z? Van? V! That was it. V looked perplexed, hands in his pockets as he examined Kerry for a moment.

“I’m always here early. I don’t wanna be in anyone’s way so I come and get my job done and then leave.”

It was kinda impossible to bother anyone with a face like that but okay. And also normally Kerry for the most part alone, unless Ariel was worried about him or Miguel needed extra hours, in which he just sat down with Ker and Ariel and had lunch or something. But this kid? Bothering them? Unlikely.

“And do what the rest of the day?”

V shrugged. “Help my mom out at her bar, or my dad in his clinic. Or Y’know, hide bodies.” Oh he thought he was funny did he?

“Oh are you good at that? I actually have some in the bathroom I needed help moving.” Kerry shot back, earning a small laugh from the pool boy.

“I Uh… I should probably get out of your hair soon, don’t wanna-“

“You want a cup of coffee?” Kerry cut him off. Clearly this kid had some deep rooted issues and Kerry was too tired to ask why he felt like he was bothering him. So here they were.

“Uh… sure.” V’s voice was quiet, but Kerry didn’t miss his small smile as he was lead inside. He wouldn’t fuck his pool boy…

Not yet.

[dingbatnix]

Slime

Who's ready for some angst?

So anyway I have a different fic (the snippet I posted just a second ago) I wanted to do for valentine's, but that one is nowhere near finished, and this one is, so. Y'know.

It's kinda badly written, buuuut I don't care. I'm so very tired o~0

Anyway, enjoy!

Warnings:: Fear of death, dehumanization, ect.

Word Count: 3,070

Karl can't speak in his gummy/true form—which I've decided to use for angst.

He is a relative of the slime family, kinda like Slimecicle, but Karl can’t really control his form when he’s stressed/has lost too much mass. He mostly violet/purple, but his limbs do have a slight gradient to blue/teal. He is much younger than Slimecicle, and has not lived in a hole for centuries, so he has a much, much better understanding of retaining a human form and shape than Charlie does.

So anyway, he gets stuck in his true form for some reason, like exhaustion or stress.

It's equated to damage, like slime hybrids in osmp. He gets attacked by a mob of zombies, loses his ability to retain human-ish shape, and loses enough mass to be small, like a foot tall small. If he had enough to eat, and wasn't super stressed, maybe he'd be able to gain back enough mass to become his human self again, but, as it is, he can't.

And he can't speak, either. His two fiancés, Sap and Q, don't know about his true form, and he's scared of what they might do to him if they catch him (while Sap and Q are very kind to him, in his human form, he didn't want to risk it. Quackity had a mean streak twenty miles wide, and Sapnap did enjoy killing things. Especially pets. What if he got mistaken for a hostile mob? He was a slime, after all) so, he tries to hide in Kinoko.

But! After a few too many close calls, he decides that it would be better for him to go somewhere else, so he travels out of Kinoko into the main Smp. This leads to him getting caught by some curious people (Tubbo, Ranboo, and Michael) who think that Karl's just a strange, somewhat intelligent, mob. They end up keeping him in a cage as a cool new pet, and poor Karl doesn't have anything to write with or signify that he's not an animal, dangit. A pencil wouldn't really be much use, because he didn't actually have fingers in his slime form, but still. He could have worked it out.

The teens weren't so bad, he supposed, but they treat him like he’s a cat or a dog or something, and it just feels demeaning. So, he devises a plan to escape. It’s really not that hard, actually, he just has to squish his malleable body through the bars of his kennel and make his way out the door. The snow outside poses a bit of a problem for his semi-liquid body, but he is the consistency of jello. It helps him a little bit, but some of his body mass freezes off, leaving him even smaller. Eventually, though, he manages to get out of the tundra and starts making his way back to Kinoko, because even if he gets caught and treated like a pet by Sap, Q and Goggy, at least it'd be safer. At least it'd be by people he trusted. At least it'd be by the people he loved. And even if they kill him, at least he wouldn’t have to live as somebody’s pet anymore.

Meanwhile, Sap and Q are freaking out, cause they can't find Karl anywhere, and it's bordering on four weeks that he's been missing. They’ve nearly turned the Smp upside-down looking for him, and unfortunately, nobody else has seen Karl, either.

So when Karl finally makes it out of the tundra, he still can't change back. He's just so stressed with everything going on, so when he eventually gets to Kinoko, he's faced with a choice: hide again, or show himself to try and communicate with the other residents of Kinoko.

He made the easy choice. He decides to find his fiancés.

The two were in the courtyard, Quackity reading through some documents piled next to him and Sapnap sparring against a training dummy. He approached them carefully, hiding behind barrels and building fixtures until he was close enough to reveal himself to Quackity. (He was not going near Sapnap with a sword, not when he looked like this. That was a good way to get cleaved in half.

He finally revealed himself to Quackity, stepping out from the shadows and tugging on the avian’s pant leg. Quackity shrieked, flailing enough to tip his wicker chair over and scatter his papers across the stones of the courtyard. Sapnap heard Quackity scream and was running in a flash, brandishing his sword towards Karl as he sprinted over.

Karl’s heart stopped. He had the opportunity to run, in the short time before Sanap arrived and speared him through, but…this was the first time he had seen either of his fiancés since he first got stuck like this. It had been nearly a month. And now, Sapnap was about to kill him, and they’d. They’d never know. They’d never know that it was him.

Karl’s legs wobbled, and then all but melted beneath his body. He threw his arms over his head and curled in on himself, his entire being quivering in fear and despair. He didn’t want to see Sapnap kill him, didn’t want to see one of the loves of his life deliver the final blow.

Sapnap skidded to a stop just as he reached them, head cocking in confusion as the little purple slime folded in on itself upon his arrival. The entire mass was wiggling, almost like it was afraid of him. Curiously, he poked it with the tip of his sword and was rewarded by it unfurling and trying to scramble away on its back. Beady little dot eyes blinked at him, wide and glimmering in the morning light.

"Hey! It's colored like one of Karl's hoodies! Like, y'know, the blue and purple one?" Sapanp realized, a grin spreading across his face as he shot a glance at Quackity. The avian, who had been crouched behind his overturned wicker chair, peeked over it at the slime's splayed out body. Sapnap was right. It did look like one of Karl’s hoodies.

“So it does,” he agreed, climbing to his feet and approaching Karl. “It…it seems more scared than hostile.” Karl nodded frantically at the avian’s words, scooching backwards as Quackity grew closer. Quackity paused in surprise and shared a look with Sapnap. He waved at the fireborn to put away his sword and turned back to the shivering slime on the ground.

“Hey,” he murmured, crouching slowly down to inspect the little slime. “Can you understand us?” At Karl’s hurried nod, a pensive frown stretched across his face. “...can you speak?”

Karl slowly shook his head, feeling strangely ashamed.

After some contemplation, he turned back to Sapnap with a curious expression on his face. “I think it’s like Charlie. Just…not quite as developed, maybe? Cause Charlie can talk, even when he’s small.”

Sapnap snorted out a small laugh. “Don’t let Charlie hear you say that. He’ll freak out over his ‘cover’ being blown.” All the same, he joined Quackity in inspecting Karl.

Karl deflated at the remark. While it wasn’t meant to hurt him, it still smarted. Charlie was older than he was! By several centuries! Of course he’d have better control over his body!

He waved his arms furiously, gesturing towards himself, and then towards Sapnap and Quackity. He was trying to tell them that it was him, that he was Karl, but they just didn’t seem to understand!

He couldn't sign either, he didn't. Have. Fingers.

He was still himself! He was still Karl…he guessed the others didn't realize that. He guessed they couldn't tell. They wouldn't have any reason to think that he, the strange little slime creature that wandered up to them, was their fiancé.

Unbidden, his eyes started to burn, and tears sprung to his eyes. Karl scrubbed at his eyes furiously. He didn't want to cry! Of all the things he couldn't do in his slime form, why wasn't crying one of them?!

"It's crying! Dude, I think you hurt its feelings! What do we do?" Sapnap exclaimed, tail twitching and flicking anxiously. Quackity shrugged, eyes guilty. “I dunno, man! I didn’t know slimes could cry! Charlie never has!”

Sapnap bit his lip, thinking, then scooped Karl up into his arms. “Hey, it’s okay, little guy. I know Quackity can be a dick sometimes, but don’t take it to heart. It’ll be okay, okay?” Sapnap ignored the affronted noise that the avian made and gently stroked his fingers over Karl’s head while making cooing noises. Karl took the gesture of comfort for what it was, burying his head against Sapnap’s chest and sobbing into the fireborn’s shirt. He poured the pent-up emotions of being trapped in a cage for days and treated like an animal, of being half frozen, of being afraid and unable to speak for weeks into Sapnap’s shirt, soaking it through with fluids he probably couldn’t afford to lose. If he kept crying like he was, he'd start losing more mass. He didn’t want that. Not when it was so hard to gain back.

Karl cries for a long, long while. Sapnap and Quackity don’t really know what to do, because that’s obviously not because of Quackity’s remark, but something that had built up over time.

They decide to take in the little slime, letting it live with them as long as it wanted to.

For Karl, their decision was a godsend, because he could rest and recover in a familiar place, with people he loved. He was allowed to roam wherever he wanted (which is a step up from the cage Tubbo had him in) and he stayed with at least one of his fiancés every day. Unfortunately, he was still stuck in his slime form, no matter what he tried.

Despite everything, Sapnap was rather…dense. And most of the time, Quackity was either busy with his affairs with Las Nevadas, or he was looking for Karl. Neither of them ever realized that he was with them, nearly all of the time.

And no matter how much he tried, he couldn't get his hands on an inked quill and a piece of paper. The frustration had reduced him to stinging tears, and it took him a while more before he gave up and accepted that he'd probably never get to tell his fiancés who he was.

It was fine. He would be fine.

He would.

_______

Quackity found himself becoming rather fond of the little slime over the few weeks it had been with them, and he was absolutely delighted on the days it decided to hang around with him. It usually alternated between himself and Sapnap, and sometimes didn’t go with either of them, but today it had decided to spend its time with him.

Right now, it was hanging from his neck like a sloth, or perhaps a koala would, as he made his way along one of the many paths of Las Nevadas. He was headed to the casino today, needing to do a checkup on the slot machines and make sure that nobody had tampered with anything.

A green, semi-translucent figure bounced towards Quackity, and a fond smile grew across his face as Charlie barreled closer. He raised a hand in preparation to greet the slime. Charlie’s face lit up, and he sped towards Quackity at a much more rapid pace, his own gelatinous arm raised to meet the avian’s.

"Hello, Quackity from Las Nevadas! Hello, Karl from Kinoko Kingdom!" A green palm slapped his own, but Quackity was too startled to respond to the slime’s exuberant greeting. Karl was here?!

Quackity jerked ramrod straight, and his head whipped from side to side, wildly searching the surrounding buildings. "Karl?"

The little purple slime frantically patted Quackity's chest, nearly losing its one-armed grip around the avian's neck. Quackity looked down at it with sad eyes, confusion clear in his face.

Karl slapped his own chest, staring imploringly at the big avian. To his utter disappointment, Quackity looked away from him and back up at Charlie.

"Wh–where's Karl, Charlie? Where did you see him?" The avian sounded desperate, and it hurt, to hear Quackity call for him when he was right there. Karl’s eyes stung, and he sent a pleading look Charlie’s way. The bigger slime met his gaze, and a small, sympathetic grin formed over his face.

Very gently, the bigger slime leaned forward and patted one green hand on top of Karl's head. "Karl from Kinoko Kingdom." The green slime said plainly, moving his gaze from Karl up to Quackity’s.

Karl nodded frantically, twisting his hand-nubs into Quackity's rumpled dress shirt and bracing his legs against the avian’s sternum. He pulled himself up, high enough that he was face-to-nose with Quackity, and waved frantically between himself and Charlie. His movements were so violent that he lost his grip, and panic strummed though his body when he tipped backwards and fell.

His back smacked against something oddly lumpy, and he realized that Quackity had brought his hands up to catch him, even while he was staring at him as if he was in some kind of daze.

Finally, Quackity blinked several times and hesitantly brushed his thumb along Karl’s arm, almost as if he thought the slime would disappear at a moment's notice.

“Y-You’re Karl?!” His voice was shaking, and his eyes were watering. Karl nodded frantically, curling one of his hand-nubs around Quackity’s thumb. The line of the avian’s mouth wavered, and he wiped his eyes on his shoulder before turning to Charlie.

"Charlie, why can't he talk?"

"He's been de-gooped, Quackity from Las Nevadas. He doesn't have enough of himself to form properly." Charlie paused for a long moment, then. "Not that I know anything about that, seeing as I am a perfectly normal human being with perfectly normal human bones."

Quackity didn’t bother answering, instead staring down at the little purple slime draped over his hands. Karl had been with them the entire time…? Karl had been with them while they were looking for him…

An incredulous laugh escaped from his lips, and soon, he found himself doubled over, Karl clutched to his chest, cackling like a madman as a wave of emotion overcame him.

Karl found himself squished against a layer of smoky cotton as he was squeezed to Quackity’s chest in a desperate hug, the scent of cigarettes and the dusty smell of sand pervading his senses from the tight embrace.

After what felt like too much time and not enough, Quackity loosened his grip on Karl’s body, and his laughter petered out. A doofy grin still decorated his face, and his eyes were scanning over Karl like he’d never seen him before.

Seconds later, his eyes widened, and his grin grew. “I gotta tell Sapnap! Holy fuck he’s gonna be so happy!”

Quackity shifted Karl to one arm and pulled his communicator out with the other. It took him a few seconds to do it one handed, but Karl saw him pull up Sapnap’s contact and hit call. It rang for a few moments, before their third picked up. “Yea–”

“Sapnap, Sapnap, I fucking found Karl.” Quackity didn’t even pause to let Sapnap get a word in, bowling over anything the other man had to say. “Sapnap, he’s the fucking slime, he’s fucking been here the whole goddamn time!”

“Oh my fucking god.”

“I fucking know!” Quackity grinned down at Karl, cradled in the crook of his left arm. Karl waved back up at him, eyes scrunched up in joy.

“I’m headed over there right now. Don’t you two fucking move, got it?”

Quackity laughed and planted himself on a bench on the side of the road, pulling Karl into his lap and hugging the little slime to his chest. “We won’t, we won’t. We’ll be here, dude.”

Quackity hung up and shoved his communicator back into his pocket. His other arm circled around Karl’s pliable body, and he looked down at the slime, eyes wide with wonder.

“Dude, what the fuck,” he whispered, and all Karl could do was shrug, chest feeling lighter than it had in a long, long while.

Charlie wandered away while they waited, stating that he needed to go check his holes (Quackity needed to fill some of those in, he’d nearly broken his ankle about eight times) leaving the two of them to wait for their third.

When Sapnap finally arrived, he made a beeline for the little purple slime resting in Quackity’s lap, sprinting through town and skidding to a stop right in front of them.

He immediately reached for Karl, his warm hands surrounding his torso and his thumbs pressing against Karl's chest. He was plucked up from Quackity’s arms before he could blink, and then he was brought towards Sapnap’s face.

The huge fireborn pressed a kiss against Karl’s face, lips as big as his head smothering against his face. He leaned into it, wrapping his arms around Sapnap's cheeks and jawline in an awkward hug. It was a good thing he didn't technically breathe through his nonexistent mouth, because he'd be suffocating from how long his face was being squashed into Sapnap's lips.

Then he was being squished against the fireborn's stubbled cheek, a deep, elated purr jiggling his entire body. Karl leaned into it, burying his face into Sapnap's cheek and wrapping himself in the familiar, comforting scent of charcoal and dirt. It felt different now, now that they knew.

Sapnap held him at arms length, hands still wrapped firmly around his chest. Karl’s legs dangled limply below, but he couldn’t find it in himself to care.

"Why didn't you tell us?" Sapnap asked earnestly. Karl shot him a flat look and getsured first at his mouthless face, then at his fingerless hand-nubs, and then finally over his whole body in general. The fireborn winced, realizing that Karl physically couldn’t.

It was fine now, though, because they finally knew.

When they finally went to bed that night, he was cocooned between their chests, in a warm embrace formed by the blanket and the two bodies of his fiancés. He wasn’t a pet, he wasn’t dead, and they. Knew.

He still couldn’t build up enough body mass to grow back to normal size and retain his human shape, but it was more bearable now, now that his fiancés knew who he was.

Taglist!

@brick-a-doodle-do @i-am-beckyu @da3dm @kayla-crazy-stuffs @local-squishmallow @skullsnbruises @munchkin1156 @gt-daboss

[walkingstackofbooks]

Hippocratic Oath + Julian's Genetically Enhanced Status

I love how in Hippocratic Oath (4x03), Julian is so determined to help the Jem’Hadar, and so optimistic about what he could do. (Although his tendency to overestimate his abilities is also poking through here, I’m sure there's something to be said about that… not now, though)

But last time I watched this episode, it was without knowing about his genetic enhancements - and so this time round, it really struck me how much that might play into what he's thinking. When watching The Abandoned (3x06), I wondered how the discovery of the Jem’Hadar being genetically engineered must have given him mixed feelings. We see in Dr Bashir I Presume that he considers the use of “monster” to describe himself acceptable, and we know that through Earth’s history, the term “augment” conjures up the picture of the most brutal and violent humans. If Julian has ever worried about his potential to become a genetically-enhanced killing-machine, what must it feel like to come face to face with a genetically-enhanced killing machine?

The Jem’Hadar have not appeared in an episode since The Abandoned (their presence in The Die Is Cast is only assumed), and so are probably not at the forefront of Julian’s mind, despite the Dominion becoming somewhat more of a threat. Now, however, a year later, we get to see assume Julian once again has to wrestle with what that slight kinship with himself means to him. For obvious reasons, as written, the script doesn't allude to Julian's own enhancements - but I think it’s interesting to explore the assumption that, on some level, he already feels more pity for these people than he does revulsion.

And in light of that I think it changes slightly why he is reacting to Miles the way he does. I mean, I do think primarily his anger is directed at the fact that people have died – in a manner he thinks could have been prevented, and he had been willing to risk his own life for that possibility. In addition, when he tells Miles it had been his choice to condemn those men to death, and Miles replies that he did it to save Julian, I think Julian feels very uncomfortable with the fact that anyone should have to die to save his own life. His desire to be a hero is also coming into play – not just for the Jem’Hadar, but also to be able to triumphantly rid the Dominion of their soldiers! But I think he also is taking it more personally then might be assumed if you didn't know his back story.

We know what the Federation think of genetic engineering. And because of the Eugenics Wars, augments like Khan are talked about in a very similar manner to the way people - and in particular, Miles – talk about the Jem’Hadar. Miles calls them killers, bloodthirsty, unable to change, and for Julian, Miles’ own unchanging view of the Jem’Hadar - no matter that Goran'Agar, unlike the others, is starting to break the mould - echoes what he thinks of augments. Or what he might think of augments. Julian is unable know how his friends would treat him, but this is kind of testing the waters. Obviously, the situations are far from the same, but the fact that Miles’ fear of these genetically enhanced beings overrides any care for their survival - or really any compassion full stop! – must sting. Not to mention that, while Miles seemed to have regret over destroying Julian’s work and disobeying orders, I don’t see that he regretted leaving the Jem’Hadar to die.

Julian's indignation is definitely about the fact that the Jem’Hadar have no control over who they are or what they are, and as soon as he sees any indication that they're capable of change he wants to help them because, as they say, he's a Federation Doctor who is compassionate. But I don't think it lessens this episode at all to say that maybe some part of him is thinking, “By your logic, I should be a killer. But I'm not. And maybe the Jem’Hadar don't have to be either.”

And maybe also, “If Miles doesn't trust me in my judgement as a doctor and a senior officer,  even while he believes I’m fully human, there's no way he'd ever trust me as an augment.”

Or, “I have no control over who I am or what I am, and if you knew who I was… I think you would hate me.”

Or, “Will there come a day when you condemn me to death?”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Scenes that especially made me Feel This:

BASHIR: [The Jem'Hadar are] not animals! They're people being used as slaves! And this is their one chance at freedom. O'BRIEN: And what are they going to do with that freedom? Stop being so naïve, Julian, and look at them for what they are. They're killers! That's all they know how to do and that's all they want to do. BASHIR: But they have the potential to be so much more. 

Hippocratic Oath 28:02

O'BRIEN: I wish things could have been different, Julian. BASHIR: So do I. O'BRIEN: And I'm sorry I had to destroy your work. BASHIR: You didn't have to, Chief. You had a choice and you chose to disobey orders, override my judgment, and condemn those men to death.

Hippocratic Oath 43:13

[ghost-whump]

For the Spotify Wrapped ask game - 16! <3

For @writereleaserepeat’s Whumpify Wrapped askgame!

#16. Standing in the Rain - Billy Talent

CW: sexual harassment, past teacher/student relationship, manipulation, mistreatment of sex workers, transphobia-adjacent?, victim blaming, depression, implied drug use, let me know if i’m missing anything!

It started so small.

So small.

Staying after class on Fridays, not to be tutored, just to talk. I think you’re interesting, kid.

Exchanging dark polaroids of questionable taste just not to fail. You trust me with this, don’t you?

Kneeling under a desk while the older man graded homework all the other students did. A+ job down there, kid.

Maybe that’s what started it. All meticulously designed to lead down this path. Just because some science teacher thought he was cute.

Not all of it was bad. Dr. Whumper was kind of hot anyway. And it definitely could have been worse. He could have forced it on him. He could have blackmailed him. Dr. Whumper could have hit and abused him. But he didn’t.

It was Whumpee who came to him. It was Whumpee who offered the arrangement in the first place. It may have been Dr. Whumper who buttered him up and carefully wooed him, but Whumpee could have stopped it.

Casual hookups with Dr. Whumper turned quickly into a scandal in their small town. Empty beer cans lobbed off the back of pick-ups, rocks chipped off sidewalks, and anything else teenage boys could find became a permanent obstacle to be dodged. Pinned against brick walls, TEACHER’S PET WHORE scribbled on his forehead by teenagers he’d never met.

Girls ignored him, boys tormented him, parents hates him, and teachers punished him.

Then one day, the morning after his mother screamed at him for nearly the whole night, he ran away.

January 13th, 1983. The day it ended. His new birthday as well, he’d soon decided.

It was hard for a 15-year-old to survive on his own—he’d known that from the start. But it was laughably easy how many men offered to drive him a few miles in exchange for a quick “payment,” as many liked to call it.

The big city was easier. A new name and casual confidence among the locals became a necessity if he didn’t want to get caught. Sex sold less there, and somehow more at the same time. He could sidle up on anyone and drag them in, but many brushed him off. Typical street-walker, one had called him.

He made his debut in the alleyways and backstreets, mingling with the local prostitutes and semi-frequent addicts. They taught him how to pick up Johns like a pro, always get paid, and never get caught. Invaluable knowledge it seemed, in the line of worked he found himself in.

Dirty needles and tight, red skirts lined his new path. Lost in the high of heroin, LSD, or anything else he could find, things got easy. Yet none of his friends— his new family —understood. Even the older workers looked down at him with pity.

Some let him sleep on their couches, helped him forage, showed him children’s hostels, but it never stayed for long. He’d return to the streets eventually.

Time passed quicker by the day. Soon a few months turned to a year and still, no one had come looking for him. He looked somewhat believably 18 now, a large selling point for him at least.

Old enough to be legal, young enough to be fun.

Then he turned 18 for real a while later. Not much changed. He’d donned a mask of innocence for so many years, it never really wore off. Playing on the bimbo-esque naïvety of his looks reeled in yet more and more clients, he’d never changed the game.

But soon that stopped working. Once he’d started growing hair in strange places and his eyes hollowed of their shine, it didn’t work. A rube, a fake, an act— it wore off.

Bruised feet forced into too-small heels click-click-clicked down the sidewalk, he’d lean over into big cars and bat his lashes. A little man inside, usually some big-shot business man faker than he was, would greet him. Some yelled at him to get in, others were respectful and asked his prices. None saw him as more than an object.

As the years drew on, he’d dread the hum of an engine slowing as it passed. Their eyes would twinkle as they caught him, ensnared him like a fish on a hook, and even though he hated it… at least they still wanted him.

He guessed he did too.

A/N: woah i didn’t expect to write this much!!! i just got carried away and kept going lmao. thanks so much for the ask, i really enjoyed writing this <3

General Tag: @morning-star-whump

[kkkimagine]

RUMORS

Summary: since you started dating Miles, rumors were normal at your pace, but this new rumor is going to go too far

pairing: miles.42 x Reader

you can listen to the songs the Reynolds pamphlet, burn and first burn from the musical Hamilton, I was inspired by those songs

my first imagine, don't be too hard on me, my first language is not english, sorry if there are grammar mistakes

Rumors ran fast at this school, especially about someone like Miles, who had his own reputation as an untouchable bad boy. For the same reason, that made you, Miles's girlfriend, his untouchable girl, rumors about him always reached you quickly, either because a friend of yours will tell you about it, you'll hear it in the hallways or Miles himself will tell you , this time you were not surprised more than any of the previous ones without knowing how big the rumor would become.

- Did you hear what they say in the corridors? - asked your sister, Gwen Stacy, walking next to you to get to the cafeteria - apparently someone says that Miles has some very strange behaviors.

- And by that you mean what? - You said leaving aside what you were looking.

- By this they mean that they have seen him slip out of classes, more than normal, leave his room very late at night, after that he arrives with somewhat suspicious bruises on his body - your sister said, looking at you somewhat worried - It all sounds weird really, maybe you should talk to him.

- don't worry, Gwen - you sighed a little too loudly, stopping your sister - I trust him, besides, people always create ridiculous rumors about Miles' life, they're just curious.

Right at that moment you felt like arms wrapped around you.

- Hello, ma - you heard that voice with an accent that you liked so much - we have class together, I was thinking that we could go together.

You turn your face to Miles's and give him a small kiss on the cheek before nodding.

- buenísimo, well then let's go - he said taking your hand and then he turned to Gwen - see you later, Gwen.

You pulled his hand when you felt that he had spent enough time looking at your sister and together they started walking. You noticed that he was somewhat nervous as the two of you walked, strange.

- By the way, I noticed that you haven't answered my texts, mami. Anything to say? -

-Oh sure, I forgot to tell you that my phone died, I took it to be repaired but it will be ready on Monday, so you'll just have to wait to get my encouragement messages back - you smile, bothering your boyfriend's existence a bit.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Two days later you calmly walk through the halls of the school happy that it was finally Friday for three very good reasons, number one: there was much less time left to get your cell phone back, you felt a little disconnected from the world without your cell phone by your side, number two: you could go home for the weekend and be a lot more relaxed which brings you to the last and most important reason, number three: you were pretty tired of the gossip you've endured all week because of the new rumor about Miles, you can't understand how this rumor kept going around everywhere. But this morning the whispers were louder, more people staring at you, more people whispering as you passed them, more people naming Miles and judging the boy, this is starting to tire you, when all of a sudden you see a group of guys looking at a cell phone and you can hear as a boy said.

- Miles Morales had a torrid affair and they recorded him right there -You furrowed your eyebrows noticeably, this is the last straw, Miles would never be capable of doing something like that, you knew it, you were about to tell the boy to shut up when you heard someone call you.

- Y/n I finally found you - you saw one of your friends running towards you quickly, then she took your arm and led you towards an empty classroom - you have to see this.

She handed you her phone that had a paused video, you touched the video to start it and you saw Miles's face.

- nah man the rumor against me it's a connection to the thing that I sneak around a lot, that for purposes of fuck me, you know - you saw your man talking with his typical coolness and relaxation, you smiled but the next thing you heard broke your heart - My real crime is a amorous connection with a hot Puerto Rican who hasn't been called Y/n for a considerable time, you can't blame me.

And the video stopped there, with the idiot face Miles was making, a face that didn't even really look like him.

- and that's not all, many conversations appeared that apparently belong to Miles with that girl, somewhat risqué - your friend showed you the screenshots of several conversations, you couldn't believe all this, at what moment? You never thought that Miles would do something like that to you, he never showed that he would be capable of doing that to you - I'm sorry, darling.

You looked at your friend with red eyes and you couldn't stand her looking at you like that, you took your bag and ran out of that place. Upon reaching the corridor full of teenagers you felt that everyone was looking at you and whispering about everything, you were short of breath while you walked quickly looking for a way out of this place, while you passed by the people you could hear parts of the video and the surprised words from some of your classmates

"for a considerable time, you can't blame me"

- damn -said a girl, quite surprised by the tone she used

"that for purposes of fuck me, you know"

- booo - muttered a group of boys in unison, they looked even offended hearing all that.

"My true crime is a love affair with a hot Puerto Rican who hasn't been called Y/n"

- No - shouted a boy who saw you just after having reacted so effusively, their eyes looked at you with pity, they all seemed to look at you with mercy.

A girl running with her cell phone and saying to a boy - Have you see this? - with Miles's voice blaring at full volume.

And you just thought "I have to get out of this place" while listening to all the whispers around you.

Damn!

Boooo!

No

Have you see this?

Everything came together in your mind, closer and closer to crying when you stopped short when you saw a scene that broke you a little more inside.

- I came as soon as I heard - your sister shouted as she got closer and closer to him, to Miles. You hear someone murmur next to you "all that way just to talk to him after what he said?" Making your hair stand on end because you knew this couldn't be good.

- Gwen, thank God I have to explain what I'm trying to do here - he tried to get closer to her.

- I'm not here for you, Morales - with that he stood paralyzed in the middle of the hall looking at my sister, the circle that was made around them let out an "oh" of surprise for this - I know my sister like I know my own mind, you will never find anyone as trusting or as kind.

Miles looked at her guiltily and you just felt like yelling at him too, but not now.

- I love my sister more than anything in this life i will choose her happiness over mine every time - she got closer to him with a gloomy air - Put what we had aside, i'm standing at her side.

Then she turned around and finally said to Miles, who was practically frozen in place.

- You could never be satisfied, God, I hope you're satisfied - with that she walked away from Miles and passed by your side, but since she didn't realize you were there you quickly ran towards the school entrance door and you breathed in the air outside as if you were breathing for the first time.

After being there for a few minutes, you decided to go to your apartment, you walked through New York with a face full of tears not caring if you looked like a mess, your mind felt like a mess right now. When you got to the apartment you knocked, since you had left the keys with your suitcase, in your school room, your mother opened the door and when she saw you she smiled but when you jumped on her crying she got worried, she took care of you and talked to you until she had to go to work, when you were alone you decided to look at all the letters and drawings that you had kept in a big box in your room that said "memories of Miles" when you saw all that you cried harder looking at all the empty promises in which you had believed everything This weather.

- I'm re-reading the letters you wrote me, I'm searching and scanning for answers in every line for some kind of sign and when you were mine - you said to yourself trying to find the words you would say to Miles when you saw it, but nothing seemed enough.

You felt enough sadness for this moment and the sadness turned to anger the more you read and watched, determined and angry you walked to the landline of the apartment, you took it and dialed Miles's number after a few rings he answered you with an "ah?" Since he did not have this number scheduled.

- I couldn't say that I expected this, Miles, defending your name when I heard the rumors I supposed that they were again ridiculous people's imaginations, apparently not - you heard how Miles held his breath when he heard your voice - do you know what's ridiculous? The fact that I saved every letter you wrote me, from the moment I saw you i knew you were mine, you said you were mine, i thought you were mine, that was my mistake Miles, believe in you and in your damn mouth .

- mami, I need to talk to you - but you didn't even want to hear his voice right now.

- don't call me like that, you know what? I always thought my sister was a little crazy, but now I understand that she was right, do you know what Gwen said when we saw your first call arrive? She said "be careful with that one, love, he will do what it takes to survive" I think it was truer than I thought.

The silence of the call felt worse than anything he could have said...

- I don't want to see you again Miles, thank you very much - you said hanging up the call. After that you went back to your room taking everything that had something to do with him, photos, gifts, clothes, whatever and you started to put everything in a box, that took you all afternoon, you realized that really had a lot of things that belonged to Miles in your room, you decided that you would give one of your friends the box so they could deliver it to him, instead of having to do it yourself, you didn't think you could see Miles again time.

After that you took again the box of letters and drawings that Miles had given you, if you kept seeing all the words and illustrations of love that he had given you, you would never get over it, you had to burn these memories, burn the letters that might have redeemed him, you saw them one last time to sit by the window of your room and you began to burn the first letter you received from him, the paper was still burning in your hand when you looked down and saw him going up the fire escape from your building, you moved away from the window trying to close it without succeeding fast enough as Miles reached the window preventing you from locking yourself in your room.

- We have to talk, Y/n - he said when he saw how you moved away from the window.

He entered through your window while you reached the farthest corner from him, he made a feint of approaching you when you pointed at him angrily.

- Don't take another step in my direction i can't be trusted around you - Miles seemed hurt by your coldness and you noticed how he looked guilty towards your red and swollen eyes.

- mami, all this has an explanation - he even seemed desperate to explain everything to you, the only problem is that you didn't want to hear it anymore - I just couldn't let this rumor get so...

You didn't let him finish while you threw him one of the stuffed animals that he had given you a long time ago.

- Don't think you can talk your way into my arms, you can't do it anymore, I don't want to hear lies anymore -

Then you felt your hand burn a little since you still had the card that was burning in your hand, you released it and it fell to the floor where Miles looked at it confused.

- I'm burning the letters you wrote me, you can stand over there if you want - you took the box that had his things and put it on your bed - I also want you to take your things with you when you leave my room and my life , I no longer want to know anything about the web of lies that is this relationship.

- No, Y/n you don't understand, if there are lies in this relationship, it's true - Miles explained trying to make you understand the things that were happening, but you just looked at him incredulously, not knowing how he dared to say it like that after all - but not the ones you think, it's something dangerous.

You started to laugh out loud, in your laugh there was not a hint of humor, but at this moment you preferred to laugh rather than cry.

- dangerous? Now you're going to tell me that Miles, please, I know what the lies are - you told him with an aggressive tone, while he saw your face - the lies are in a video that everyone has seen, the lies are the kisses, the loving words, hugs, gifts, looks of love, promises and above all, the biggest lie is the supposed love you have for me, Miles, those are the lies.

- don't say that Y/n - he began to speak more coldly because of everything you said - I know what it seems like but there is something very difficult to explain why I have to do this, I don't even date a Puerto Rican woman in my life, you know.

- you're wrong, I thought I knew what you did and felt Miles Morales, now I understand that I don't know shit about you, I don't know who you are, I have so much to learn - then you looked at the ashes on the ground and sighed - I'm re-reading your letters and watching them burn.

Miles felt his heart heavy with anguish, he doesn't know how he was going to solve this problem, he doesn't know why he had to listen to what his uncle Aaron said in the first place.

- You're the only one who really knows me, ma, the only one who knows how I always feel - your boyfriend whispered trying to solve this problem, even if it's letting you know how important you were in his life.

It took all your courage and willpower not to throw yourself at Miles and hug him, you still loved him but you couldn't forgive this, the lies weighed heavier at this moment.

- don't fuck with me, Miles, you published the messages that she sent you, you told the whole world how you brought this girl into your bed - you said with some tears falling down your cheeks - you laughed while you told your friends.

- I was trying to clear my name because of the rumors that were going too far, Y/n, try to understand, everything about the girl is a lie - he told you a little defensively.

- Oh yeah? Oh really? Well, in clearing your name, you have ruined our lives - you told him on the verge of disaster again, unable to believe that he was being so cynical - don't tell me that clearing your name matters more to you than saving your relationship, because I can't find the sense of lying about a fake affair to get rid of a rumor.

He began to breathe faster as he walked desperately around your room trying to find a way to make you understand without telling you anything about the prowler thing.

- the world? I told the whole world according to you, Y/n? Well, the world was playing meddling in my life, I couldn't find another way, the world had to... - You couldn't even let him finish, you were boiling with anger thinking about what he was capable of saying just to excuse himself.

- Well, I don't understand Miles, why did you have to say that to the world and not tell it to the only person who knows you Miles, supposedly me - you pointed it out again and began to say aggressively - The world have no right to my heart, the world has no place in our bed, they don't get to know what I said while you were explaining to me all the things that you didn't have time to explain in the famous video, the world shouldn't matter so much to you when you should care about the people you lose while you explain to them your life.

You walked away from him again as if he had a very toxic disease, as if you were disgusted by the man you loved with all your heart just a few hours ago.

-I had never realized it but behind that relaxed attitude that you show everywhere you are always observing how everyone is looking to capture something from your life and you are paranoid in each expression how they allow you - and you began to throw more of the old things at him that they reminded you of how much he supposedly loved you - you, you, you.

He dodged everything you threw at him and tried to find the words that would calm you down, but he could never tell you that he was the prowler and he had to focus on something bigger so no one would suspect.

- everything has an explanation, just let me talk -

- You and your words, obsessed with your secret, the secret that you are not able to tell me - you cried no matter that he was there looking at you - since you could never be honest with me Miles Morales, you forfeit all rights to my heart, you forfeit the place in my bed you sleep in your lonly room instead with only the memories of when you were mine.

Your heart broke saying this but you were so sick of him not being able to tell you the truth, always hiding something, you couldn't live like this anymore.

- I hope that you burn, Morales - he looked up at your face with a lot of sadness in his eyes.

- It's all part of a plan, I just can't explain everything to you now -

-Heaven forbid someone whisper "He's part of some scheme" Miles - you said even laughing as you approached him to aggressively point to his chest - that nobody notices your incredible plan to undo the rumor that practically said that you were dating someone according to me people told it, don't make me laugh.

This time he was the one who walked away from you looking upset and disappointed, which annoyed you even more. What the fuck could he be disappointed in after all he did and said?

- all those people who whisper, Y/n, you don't know how that shit is, all day long the usual bastards whispering -

- oh i get it, your enemy whispers so you have to scream I AM THE MOST MACHO, I HAVE TWO WOMEN AT THE SAME TIME CLOWNS, surely that's what you wanted to imply, I don't even know why I'm surprised - then you remembered how everyone whispered where you went - I know about whispers, Miles, follow me everywhere, with every rumor, with every new bruise on your body, with every new fight, every time you go out with my sister.

Upon hearing the mention of Gwen, you saw how he tensed up quickly, clearly he was going to deny anything which made you explode for which you yelled loudly in his face.

- I see how you look at my sister - Even you were surprised by the way you said it, but you weren't sorry - Don't, I'm not naive, I have seen women around you, don't think I don't see how they fall for your charms all your charms

Miles looked up at the sky and then ran his big hands over his face, tired and exhausted from this conversation, before saying coldly.

- It's not my fault that they get close, I just want you by my side, mami -

- I think I don't believe you anymore, Miles, after all the evidence has been seen by the whole school - you smiled sadly, you hated what Miles had done, what he had said, and above all you hated that after all this you still loved him - I don't want to know anything else, Miles, I want to sleep so take your things and leave me alone.

- You can't say that, ma, I love you - he said taking your face and getting closer to him - you are the best part of my life.

All of your courage you used to step back and tell him emotionlessly.

- I'm erasing myself from your life, Miles, I don't think you understood that - you told him without expression on your face, letting him see that you were very serious, then you put the letters and drawings that he had given you on the other box that was on your bed, knowing that you would not have the courage to burn the others -Let the students wonder how Y/n reacted when you broke her heart, do not record another video saying how you destroyed my soul to preserve your fame as a great man.

You turned your back on him and kept saying the things that you would know would make him leave your room and, although it hurt so much to know what would happen, your life.

- And when the time comes explain to your family the pain and embarrassment you put your girlfriend through, because she doesn't come to dinner anymore, she's not going to call anymore - you dropped some tears remembering mom Rio who had behaved very kind with you always - And I still wondered when will you learn that only what you think matters? only what we think matters!

Then you remember the letters, messages or nights in which he let you know that he was yours.

-If you thought you were mine.... Don't - and with that last sentence you heard how your window closed and when you turned around neither Miles nor the boxes were there, tired you walked to your bed and went to bed letting out more tears of sadness.

Miles went back to the window without you noticing and promised himself to fix this problem.

After that Gwen entered your room, and went to your bed to hug you while you cried uncontrollably.

- oh love, you have in a relationship with an Icarus he has flown too close to the sun - which only made you cry more, because you knew she was right - everything will be resolved, baby, I'm on your side.

[disappointingyet]

Trust

Director Hal Hartley Stars Adrienne Shelly, Martin Donovan, Edie Falco, Merritt Nelson, John McKay UK/USA 1990 Language English 1hr 47mins Colour

Revisiting my favourite film of 1991

If you were roughly my age and aesthetic ideology in the 1980s, one of the most notorious scenes in the movies was Ally Sheedy getting a makeover from Molly Ringwald in The Breakfast Club. The general view was  (and the internet suggests still is) that not only was it no business of Ringwald’s character to de-gothify Sheedy, but also that Sheedy more conventional = less attractive. 

More fondly remembered is the scene in The Big Sleep where Marlowe (Bogart) has an hour or so to kill during a stakeout and the manager of the bookshop he’s in (Dorothy Malone) indicates she’s more than willing to help him pass the time. He agrees, but then asks her if she’s OK taking off her glasses: ‘Little things like that make…’ She does, and loosens her hair, and he responds with a gratified, ‘Hello!’ (It’s far from the only movie in which a woman is perceived as becoming more tempting minus the specs, but it’s at least one of the best).

Trust could be seen as containing something of a riposte to both of these scenarios. Maria  (Adrienne Shelly) starts the film with a perm, mall-girl make-up and bright clothes. It’s her choice to let her hair go straight and wear in a messy ponytail, ditch the make-up and stick with the plain shirt-dress she’s nicked out of a closet. It is, admittedly, Matthew (Martin Donovan) who asks why she doesn’t use the glasses she obviously needs. Because they make her look like a librarian. ‘I like librarians,’ he says, and she wears the glasses through most of the rest of the film.

In the prevailing progressive ideology of the 2020s, devaluing the aesthetics of mall girls is just as bad as oppressing goths. But as the 1980s slowly gave way to the 1990s, the mostly self-driven makeunder Maria does in Trust seemed like a good thing. And, yes, within the vibe of the film and that of the people likely to be watching it, it was understood that Maria/Shelly looked better de-permed. And the aesthetics of Hal Hartley movies meant a lot to me in the early 1990s.

(Side note: I saw this film while I was at university, and knew a lot of women who had turned up in their first year with big curls – which had long been banished by their third years but embarrassingly lingered on the photoboards in the departments where they were studying.)

Trust is the second feature film Hartley made, and the first one I saw, having read about it in The Face magazine. My expectations were very high and fully fulfilled – I became a bit obsessed by it, or at least as far as I ever became obsessed by anything (I’m not an obsessive person). 

I’ve written about Hartley’s debut The Unbelievable Truth here. Trust is in some ways very similar. Both are filmed on Hartley’s home patch of Lindenhurst, Long Island (if you’re tracking these things, it’s about 18 miles further out from Brooklyn than Valley Stream, where Steve Buscemi’s Trees Lounge takes place.) Both star Adrienne Shelly paired with a guy who is a bit older* and is somewhat notorious locally. In both films, Gary Sauer plays the doofus Shelly’s character was going out with before she wised up, and much of the rest of the supporting cast is the same.

And yet, rewatching them after all this time, these films felt more different than I had remembered. Trust is (purposefully) less of a comedy, to some extent less stylised (although still very stylised) and maybe more… I both want to say and am reluctant to say: sincere? Heartfelt? 

Maria and Matthew are both floundering when they meet: she’s being kicked out of school, she’s pregnant, she’s having trouble with her parents. Matthew keeps losing jobs because he’s got too many principles/hang-ups but also is violent, and he’s still living with his father (John McKay), who bullies him (which he then takes out on the random people he punches.) It’s not quite an instant connection, but a fairly quick one. Matthew’s room is littered with piles of hardback books, and Maria dives deep into a self-improvement-through-learning kick.

Martin Donovan became a fixture of Hartley’s films – he’s imposing, he’s got good hair, a good voice, looks right stomping around in an overcoat, but there’s enough vulnerability there. But it’s Shelly as Maria who is the heart of this film – it’s her determination, ultimate fearlessness in difficult circumstances that makes this odd melodramatic story hold together. She’s so good in this movie. 

McKay as Matthew’s dad and Merritt Nelson as Maria’s mom are well cast, and Edie Falco is a real treat as Maria’s recently divorced sister.

If you like films with an austere, blue/grey look – and I very much do – this a kind of beautiful, perfectly composed picture. It’s easy to think of low budget films being inherently rough-and-ready, but Hartley’s films are – in look, in movement, in words – always precise. 

Trust, the consensus seems to be, is Hartley’s best film. Have now revisited this, The Unbelievable Truth, Simple Men and Amateur, I’ll go along with that – I like them all a lot, but this one is everything clicks the most.

*Robert John Burke in The Unbelievable Truth was about six years older than Shelly, Donovan nine, although I think Mathew in Trust is meant to read as younger than Josh in TUT. Shelly plays a high schooler in both movies but was in her early/mid twenties at the time.

Hal Hartley’s films are available for rental streaming from halhartley.com

[oceansprompts]

marvel's midnight suns | misc quotes 4

Thank you for not making a bigger deal about my arrival…

I don’t think I can properly express my relief…

In truth, I’ve been in survival mode…

I do not believe in many of the common dark magics…

A risk is not a risk if it does not hold the potential for regret.

Well, for example, some species of bats can fly at speeds of up to 100 miles…

I’m sorry. I’m a bit on edge because I haven’t eaten in awhile.

No. And, for the record, I don’t sleep in a coffin just because I’m a vampire.

I know what it’s like to feel suffocated by a disease….

 I was fifteen when I found out my mother was Capital “E” Evil.

I want to throw her a surprise party, but I can’t do it alone.

Pisses me off so much, I could scream.

Don’t bother. Kinda just want to be left alone.

And since chaos magic is a helluva lot more powerful…

But, poof, here this was… waiting for me.

You know, I wouldn’t be surprised if this was the first case of corruption in recorded history.

I’ve already lost enough people I care about.

You, uh, reunited our twisted little family…

You ever miss people from your past?

So, it’s time for them to move over and let the kids take the reins.

Maybe a somewhat dysfunctional family with a ton of issues to work through…

I feel called out. Figured since your mom is the Mother of Demons and all…

They make me feel like a child sometimes, but you don’t, so, like, thanks.

It’s something I make all my friends watch with me.

Anyway we’ll get some more quality one-on-one time. It’s a little retro…

Like why have a kid if you’re going to get rid of them…

Okay, I think that you think that I’m one of those good people, right…

How can you be sure that I’m not, you know, evil?

I’ll spare you the sappy stuff, but you’ve climbed to the top…

She’ll never forget how her favorite cartoon characters showed up as exotic dancers. Nor will she ever forgive me.

Of all the changes you’ve had to deal with, at least the music is better.

Meh. That requires effort.

That you were a godlike hero walking the earth, single-handedly holding back the forces of evil.

But what if I hurt you?

Sorry, I… I don’t feel like myself.

Is it weird that I think she’s going to be waiting for me in my dreams…

Forgot how relaxing it is to just zone out and watch a good movie after a long day of battle.

I mean, it was just a dream, right?

It’s all destroyed now, along with these poor peoples’ lives.

Of course I’d like to know more, but I trust you’re doing the best you can.

Instead I’m just… Numb. I’m starting to feel guilty that I don’t feel guilty.

But I still wonder if I truly belong, you know?

It’s not all magic wands and midnight margaritas.

I dunno. There’s so much to be happy about right now. You pick.

I wonder what they would say if they saw me now, saw who I grew up to be.

Wasn’t exactly the popular kid, if you know what I mean.

I’m not so sure you want to know… or I want to tell you.

So, I’m setting it in ink, because I never want to forget how you took a chance on me.

I feel like I can trust myself again…

With all these people, it’s not crowded, exactly. It certainly feels more alive.

For a moment, nothing. Then she burst out laughing and opened the door. We have been close ever since.

A collection of DVDs. I know it’s irrational to want them back, but I can’t stop thinking about them.

It shouldn’t be this easy. I always pictured a gulf between us.

Well, I never thought I could replace you. I wanted you to know.

I figured if I was going to be teaming up with this group, I ought to up my game. Sound more…I dunno…scary.

Sorry, the mask’s gotta stay on. I hope that’s not gonna make things weird between us.

I mean, I can’t shoot laser beams, light my skull on fire or glow like the sun…

Maybe I’ll use the Forge to bake a loaf of sourdough…

No, I mean helping him turn his life around. The way real heroes are supposed to.

Alien-possessed architecture gives me the extra creeps.