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xomarauders · 4 years ago

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ever since I read that line in Order of the Phoenix where Ginny says “Excuse me, but I care what happens to Sirius as much as you do!" (ch. 33) I have created many head canons of them being pals.

here is an example of one of those moments <3

tw: implied PTSD

The house was more ominous at night. Almost as if all the dark magic they worked so hard to get rid of during the day was seeping out of the dusty walls, vibrating in the air, and making one’s skin tingle. Ginny lie awake, not because of the house and its horrors but because of her own mind and the demons that have remained there since she was eleven. She squeezes her eyes shut, willing herself to go to sleep, but the moment her eyelids close together she sees his face. She hears his synthetically understanding voice as she remembers how she bore her young, naïve heart out to in a cursed journal that she would never truly be rid of. Her eyes snapped back open and she lets out a slow, but shaky breath, afraid she might wake Hermione, who was fast asleep next to her, apparently oblivious to the darkness swimming around them and inside of Ginny’s head.

It is unsurprising that Sirius hates this place. She did not understand why Dumbledore made him come back here, but her mother constantly reminded her to not question the headmaster’s judgement and so Ginny said nothing. She exchanged looks with Lupin at the dinner table, a mutual concern seemingly running between them, but she never spoke. It was not her place to.

During the day it was easier to be in the house. Fred and George were a great distraction, even Sirius with his ever-declining mental state seemed to perk up whenever the twins pulled pranks and got on their mother’s nerves—which really was not all that hard to do. Sometimes, though, it was tense in the house. Order meetings were becoming more frequent—they were planning on brining Harry soon—and the news shared amongst members was rarely good. Ginny was unable to attend the meetings, of course, but from what she heard from Lupin and Bill’s mumblings at dinner and the information she was able to persuade Tonks to share, she knew things were not in their favor.

A small meow at the foot of the bed suddenly made her jump. She sat up, her long, red hair flying forward with the motion, to see Crookshanks stretching and finding himself a more comfortable position to sleep. Ginny rolls her eyes, glancing down at Hermione to see that she was still asleep—she was. Unable to entertain the idea of rest anymore, Ginny shoves the blankets off of her and sneaks out of the room, careful to step over the creaky floorboard George had pointed out to her earlier as she wandered into the hallway.

It was cold, and Ginny mentally scolded herself for not thinking to grab her jumper. She folds her arms, attempting to preserve her body heat and continues to travel down the hallway and down the long staircase. This house was too big, she thought, as she passed rooms that have probably been locked for years, rooms that were being used for nothing but to hold deep, dark, pureblood secrets.

One door was open, though. One Ginny had never been in, one she was probably not allowed to be in. Still, she was Fred and George’s sister which meant she had curiosity coursing through her veins, and so she pushed the door open wider and stepped inside. There was a huge green rug in the middle of the room with silvery designs running across it. A mahogany desk was settled in the center of it, thick layer of dusk and cobwebs covering it and the various objects sitting upon it. There were several books, a few ornate decorations, and some gaudy candlesticks. Crooked photographs hung on the wall, pictures of unsmiling people with charcoal eyes. Ginny scrunched up her nose—Kreacher has obviously neglected his duties to clean this room, much like the rest of the house. She wonders if anyone else has discovered this space.

“You know, this house isn’t exactly one you should be wandering about in at night.”

Ginny whips around, her heart leaping into her throat for a moment before realizing it was just Sirius. He was standing in the doorway, his shoulder resting against the frame, a somber look on his face. The clothes he was wearing seemed to drown him, his body still extremely thin after all those years in Azkaban. The hair on his head had been tied up in a knot on his head, wand pocking out the side of it.

“Sorry.” Ginny says after she remembers how to breathe. “I couldn’t sleep.”

Sirius shrugs. “Neither could I. Would you like some tea? I was going to make some.”

Ginny nods, following him out of the room and down into the kitchen. They are both silent, taking comfort in one another’s presence but unwilling to discuss just what nightmares had been keeping them up. Ginny sits down patiently as Sirius begins to make the tea, his hands shaking slightly as he goes about it. She doesn’t mention it. It was a bit funny to her that Sirius made tea the muggle way, warming the water with a kettle and allowing it to steep for several moments. For as impatient as he was, he seemed to take his time with tea.

“Thank you.” She says once he puts a cup in front of her. He offers her a tight smile and sits across from her. Again, it is quiet, but the darkness that was earlier overwhelming Ginny seemed to be drifting away, leaving her feeling something close to content.

“Remus’ mother taught me how to make tea.” Sirius says, staring down at his cup. “It was the summer just before…seventh year? I had been living with James for some time at that point, so it must have been. We decided to take a trip to Wales to visit Moony. Their house was so hidden, tucked away from the rest of the town. It was safer that way, I suppose. For Remus. Anyway, I had woken up early, before the rest of the lads. Nightmares were still a common occurrence for me and so I snuck downstairs in an attempt to not bother anyone. Hope was already up. I was surprised, the sun hadn’t even started to rise, but she was sitting there at the small, wooden table reading some muggle novel. I remember she smiled at me and offered to make tea. She didn’t even question why I was up. She just offered tea. So, I said yes, even though it felt like I wouldn’t be able to stomach anything. And she made tea. It became sort of routine during the week we stayed. I would wake up in the early hours of the morning and Hope would be sitting in the kitchen, waiting for me. When it got down to the last few days, she showed me how to do it myself. It was calming, doing all the steps instead of rushing the process like us wizards like to do with so much. Even after we left the Lupin’s home, I would still wake up with nightmares and make Hope’s tea.”

Sirius looked up. “I still don’t know why the dementors didn’t take that memory from me. Maybe because of the nightmares that preceded it. Either way, I’m glad that Hope Lupin remains untainted in my mind.” He smiles slightly and Ginny grins back.

“She sounds like professor Lupin. I found myself having tea in his classroom many times when he was at Hogwarts.” Ginny shrugs. “I have nightmares, too. I think he might have known.”

Sirius hums, a soft look appearing on his face. “He tends to know those sorts of things.”

Ginny was unsure what the whole situation was with Sirius and Lupin. She knew they were close, that there was some sort of history there, something that likely went beyond friendship, but she never asked about it. It was apparent to see, though, in the ways that Lupin could calm Sirius unlike anyone else and the lingering looks they exchanged as well as the gentle touches they gave one another. She wondered if they would ever be able to recover what they once had in full force instead of dancing around one another with hesitancy. Maybe one day when the war ended they would be able to find some sort of peace with one another.

“Are you ever afraid it will never end?” Ginny finds herself whispering. Thinking about the war caused an ache in her chest, one she was afraid would become chronic as time went on.

“Mm, I suppose.” Sirius replied grimly. “Not so much that the war will not end, eventually it must. I’m more scared of what we will lose in the process.”

He was thinking about Harry. She knew he was thinking about Harry because that’s who she was thinking of. The whole fate of the world seemed to fall upon Harry Potter’s shoulders and Ginny feared that there was nothing she could do to protect him from it all. She wishes she could just take him away somewhere to hide, to wait for everything to blow over, but she knew Harry would never agree. He cared too much about everyone else even if they did not care about him in return. It was his fatal flaw, but she supposed that’s why destiny or fate or whatever decided to do this to him.

Ginny shifted slightly in her seat. The idea of losing Harry was one that haunted her mind almost as often as Tom Riddle did. He had become such a symbol of hope for her, a hero that had rescued her in the chamber of secrets but also as a friend who never saw her as the victim. Someone who she could banter with and laugh with. Someone who acknowledged her strength and was not intimidated by it like so many other boys she had dated. Harry was always the one in her mind, no matter how much she tried to get over him. She could imagine spending the rest of her life with him, despite how silly that sounded to say as a fourteen-year-old girl. Which is why losing him scared her so much.

“He’ll be okay, won’t he?” Ginny asked. Sirius looked up, his face looking wearier than she had ever seen, a hollow look in his silver eyes, as if his mind were somewhere else.

“Yeah,” Sirius said. “Yeah, he will be.”

Doubt lingered in the air like some poisonous fog that threatened to suffocate them, much like the rest of the evils within the house. Ginny almost wished for it, and that thought horrified her more than anything. It was too dark, too much like the thoughts she had when Tom Riddle was corrupting her mind. She took a long sip of her tea as a distraction, the heat of it scalding her throat as she did so. Her hands were quivering as she set the cup down and she tried to hide it as best she could, but Sirius noticed.

“I am definitely not as good as Remus when it comes to…expressing concern and offering counsel” he began tentatively, “but, I can listen. If you would like to talk about it. Whatever it is that is keeping you up.”

Ginny looked up him, at the kind but awkward smile he had plastered on his face and thought for a moment that Sirius was the best person she could come to with this. His mind had been toyed with for years by those vile dementors, so, if anyone could understand the feeling of losing their mind, it was him.

“My first year at Hogwarts, I was possessed by Tom Riddle.” She states bluntly. Sirius does not flinch. “Sometimes, especially at night, I can still hear him in my head. Telling me to…do things. To hurt people. It frightens me. I worry that he’s still there, that somehow he has been taking shelter in my mind waiting for the right opportunity to use me again. And so, I don’t sleep. If I don’t sleep, then he can’t take over my subconscious. He can’t control me. But it’s making me feel like I’m going insane. Makes me feel like, deep down, I am a terrible person.”

She exhales shakily. It feels nice, to say it out loud. Even if it sounds that much crazier to her, at least she did not have to hide it. Sirius remained silent, looking at her with an expression of thoughtfulness. He never seemed like the type to think before speaking, but maybe this was a special case. Maybe he did think she was crazy but didn’t want to tell her that straight out. Maybe professor Lupin had rubbed off on him.

“I get it. The feeling of going insane, I mean. And, though I’ve never been possessed, I have been under the imperious curse, so I can understand not having control of yourself. And it is terrifying, Ginny, you don’t have to pretend it doesn’t scare you. Voldemort isn’t possessing you, not anymore. And you know that. But that doesn’t mean the fear automatically goes away. It’s going to take time.” He leans forward, resting his elbows against the table and looking her in the eye. “But, you have to know that you’re not a bad person. Everyone has their demons; everyone has light and dark inside of them. I came from a family of bloody pureblood supremacists; doesn’t mean I was destined to be one myself. It’s what you choose to be that matters.”

Ginny’s a bit surprised at the tears burning in her eyes and she bites down on her lip. “I’m just so tired, Sirius.”

“I know. I know.” He moves out his chair and swiftly makes it to the other side of the table, kneeling beside her and pulling her into his arms. She lets out a sob that she feels like she’s been holding for years as she grips the back of his robes, sobbing into his shoulder.

“Shh, it’s okay. It’s okay. I’ve got you.” Sirius whispers. “You’re okay. You’re going to be okay.”

She cries herself to sleep, waking in the morning to find herself tucked into yet another bed in some random room of the house. The sun was shining in through the window though and Ginny felt a flicker of ease and contentment rush through her. She sits up, feeling a warmth against her feet, and sees a giant, black dog resting at the foot of the bed. She smiles.

The house was more ominous at night, but the mornings didn’t seem so bad.

#ginny weasley #sirius black #remus lupin #wolfstar #harry potter #hinny #hermione granger #ron weasley #fred weasley #george weasley #nymphadora tonks #order of the phoenix #harry potter fanfiction #ginny weasley fanfic #ginny weasley angst #sirius black angst #sirius and ginny are pals #💭 by kat

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gummybearzgocrazyagain · 4 years ago

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MALEC FIC REC POST, vol.3

vol. 1

vol.2

Media AU

Society Rules by @Tiger_Tiger_Burning_Bright [it is apparently based on films i’ve never heard of - The Philadelphia Story / High Society - which does not make it any less entertaining. malec are childhood friends, who had a falling out 5 years ago, and now Magnus is back from London to interrupt Lightwood wedding, aka the social event of the season]

Making my way to you by @asharee_arie [woah, what was that??? is the correct answer “a perfect fanfic”?? what a muthafuckin delight, where has this gem been hiding this whole time??? i was on the floor, rolling around and squealing like a newborn piglet. Intended as some kind of Office AU, this piece does not necessarily follow the outline, but who cares, when the story, and characters, and author’s style are all that perf??? i am in luv]

Mistletoe and Margaritas by @nevermetawolf [this is legendary, and i mean, muthafuckin epic - Office AU so authentic you’d feel it in yo old bones... author calls it a crack fic, although it was anything but!!! major must read for those, who’s ever loved office, allllllll the kudos]

Once Upon a Time in the Clouds by @Fatale (femme) [one of my all-time fav authors, every time i come by a piece i have not read yet, is like a huge YAY, what a talent. so this piece is an AU of something called “sky high”, which i have no idea about, but luved it nevertheless, Alec is born to a family of Supers, and is going to school for children with superpowers, but he himself is yet to manifest any.]

Quite Magical by @lorenzobane [Hogwarts AU, and what an adorable thing it was! granted, i’ve never actually read any of HP books, this was such a delight though... alec is bad at potions, and magnus has to tutor him *wink*]

Chef AU

the way to a chef’s heart by @lecrit [okay, the GIANT SMILE one’s face acquires when one finds out there is a new lecrit fic ≧◠‿◠≦ ≧◠‿◠≦ ≧◠‿◠≦ was reading it, and legitimately squealing like a feral piglet all the way through, cause i fucking luv every single word this woman writes, is like a tiny endorphin explosions in my brain. i know am a hopeless fangirl, but i’ll die on this hill. the way she gets malec, and every variation of them in her works just makes me go (❁´◡`❁) every. single. time.]

kids in the kitchen by @perpetual_journey [cuteness personified, malec are both chefs, and magnus is a single father of max and rafe, and go and read ittttttttt, its that soft content we all need in our lives sometimes]

Knives at the Ready by @harrysglasses [restaurant AU, that is supposed to be a malec rendition of Burnt (am guessing it’s a movie...?), and what a sweet treat it was! i liked author’s style, this is the kind of smooth, unproblematic content one would require to take repose from all the heart-clenching longing i’ve been reading lately... delightful piece to ease thy soul]

Single Parent AU

I Knew From the First Time by @KlaineJane [emmm, excuse you, dear author, who gave you the right to use Rafe and Max to get to my heart, and be generally so fucking cute??? Alec is a single dad of both rascals, that has a meeting with the High Warlock of Brooklyn, and Chairman meets new friends]

And Then I Met You by @everydayfandom [malec are single parents of max and rafe respectively, and alec gets called in to school about the accident max was involved in...who doesn’t luv them some gud ol’ sweet piece of kidfic? those are like a soothing baths for your soul, and lightwood-bane kids are incapable of being anything less than extremely adorable in any interpretation, so]

College AU

Don’t say goodnight by @alistoney [this the kinda lighthearted content i am always here for - College AU]

One year and a bottle of whiskey by @CryptidBane [yassssss, yet another version of the College AU, but with malec as both clueless and pining professors, this type of fic i can read endlessly]

All is Fair in Love and War by @LadyOxymoron [aaaaaaaa, what was this adorableness *major heart-eyes* what a piece, mashallah, college professors AU, where magnus is new in town, and malec is engaging in an elaborate prank war, which, undoubtedly, is nothing more than a prolonged foreplay (c), what a gem]

Canon Divergence

oh, i’ve waited for you by @manticoremoons [so, the fic is happening a little bit further in a timeline, than the books or the series, and Alec is around 30, and... married to Lydia. i know, i know, it almost stopped me from proceeding, and boi am i glad it hasn’t completely, cause it is a damn good piece!]

Hey There Demons, It’s Me (Your Dream Boyfriend) by @thealmostrhetoricalquestion [how many recs of this author can i make, without being deemed obsessed? cause y’all should go and read every single thing they wrote, stat. this adorableness is outta this world, literally - magnus’ summoning went sideways, and the loft ends up populated with the teenage ghost-demon, who is very clearly enamored with alexander... all kinds of fluff ensue]

Something Else verse by @CryptidBane (Impetus) [maybe it’s my fever talking, but i am such a sucker for memory loss AUs, and SH fandom has the richest canon base for those, yay! this time, it’s an AU verse after 3x10: rather than asking for his magic, Asmodeus curses magnus by taking away memories from everyone who’s ever loved him, in exchange for freeing jace from lilith’s thrall... oh, what a beautiful and delicious angst ensues]

Home by @otppurefuckingmagic [waaaaaaaaat... *sits with her mouth open* how did you....? how did he...? damnnnnnnnnn you authors in this fandom, stop being so talented!!!! this is uncannily brilliant]

I’ll hold on until you’re home by @alistoney [how dare you sir, right in the feels... the missing scene in the midst of 3x18/3x19, when magnus realizes what his idiot of a boyfriend has done, and confronts him about the Asmodeus deal]

First time for everything by @nebulein [“Nowhere in a Shadowhunters’ job description does it read ‘must look adorable while infatuated with the local High Warlock’.” - series of firsts written with such tenderness and adoration for characters, that it warms your heart while reading, - it shows how much the author cares for them. it is not finished, but whatever has already been written, is gold]

Fake dating AU

The Great Repression by @CryptidBane (Impetus) [although it might not be exactly my regular cup of tea, i still appreciate this author’s style so damn much, and the way they do malec dynamic overall, so it’s here. magnus is a camboy, and alec is hired to protect him from a stalker]

Friends to lovers

Family is Family by @hexicity [my brains are fried by the covid, so any coherent rec would be unlikely right about now, but the softness of this <333 alec sees an ad about a free room, and when he moves in, he finds way more, than he bargained for... gave me a bit of a “happy, shiny people everywhere” vibe, and that’s an automatic rec in my books, so]

Spinning Around In Circles by @lemonoclefox [my fav friends to lovers/mutual pining trope, here you are, and what a pretty pretty wrapper are you wearing - absolutely amazing interpretation of a trope, that seems to has been done to death, and yet here i am, never able to get enough of it <3]

If it walks like a duck by @thealmostrhetoricalquestion [this. i was reading this. and after every single word. all i wanted to do was get down on one knee and propose to this person. i dunno who the hell you is, but.... how did you do this? it was... another level of fanfiction.]

Neighbors AU

Meow 17:1 Love Thy Neighbor by @high-warlock-of-brooklyn [again, not a fan of drabbles, but who could resist such softness??? Neighbors AU, where Chairman takes some lessons he learnt from “Parent trap” to heart, and alec is a stumbling mess, but he gets shit done, kudossssssss]

Various AU mix

Solid courage by @thealmostrhetoricalquestion [how goddamn CUTE was dat???? answer - the cutest. mashallah people in this fandom can write]

Paper Love by @thealmostrhetoricalquestion [it would not be an exaggeration to admit i thoroughly fell in love with this author’s style, i mean, all and every version of their malec is all kinds of awesome. this one is no exception - catarina works in the library, and malec have to take madzie out to a coffee shop, cause their obnoxious flirting is too loud for the quaint environment of catarina’s workplace.... it’s tiny and so so sooooooo sweet]

make no bones by @ohfreckle [yaaaaaaaaay, what a cutie, tiny preciousness about magnus having an awful day and taking it out on a no-good useless building super, simply delightful]

Freud is a Dick by @sanctuary_for_all [Alec works in IT firm, and accidentally sends someone else’s dick pick to his boss, whom he has a crush on... do i need to say more]

shadows in moonlight by @kaeg [damnnnnnn, son, that was a ride!! something exquisitely soulful, tender and so, so poetic... young malec meet in summer vacation home, and it will take your breath away in the best way possible... warning, it is unfinished, but whatever was written, is absolute preciousness]

For the Love of the Game by @TicklemyPickle [Hockey AU, where malec were childhood friends, but had a falling out, and were not in touch for the last 7 years, until magnus gets traded in to alec’s team... i was somewhat unsure about reccing this, as some of the choices author made regarding their dynamic did not exactly resonate with me, but decided to go on, because, god as my witness, one thing this world definitely needs more of - is malec Hockey AUs, word upppp]

Love Is A Gamble by @la-muerta [i myself do not completely understand, why has it taken me so long to get to the “The importance of elsewhere” author’s most famous piece, but i finally have, it was amazeballs, like, the world-building...? off the charts. the language, the moral struggle, what a gem. alec is a grumpy and surely sheriff *duh!!!* of a tiny town, and magnus strolls in being all... well, magnus-y, and opens a gambling house, the potential!!! anyway, i highly doubt this piece needs recs, so imma zip it]

@ohprongs [this author has too many tiny pieces i like to name them individually, but as far as reccing goes, they should def be mentioned here for their effortless, seamless style, and clear love for the characters in all interpretations, that simply shines through all and any AUs they choose to put malec in]

special mention:

@theleftboobgrabber [i wasn’t aware that at this stage it was still possible to come by someone like this. the author, who’s style would impress me so. that unbelievably glorious Mafia AU, absolutely delightful and literally perfect My mama don’t like you series, and something that went straight to my top-5 - MI6 AU ohhhhh, that MI6 AU... i have no coherent words to express the depths of my appreciation, this is unbelievable fucking talent for writing malec]

#malec #malec fic rec #malec fic #shadowhunters fic rec #shadowhunters

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itsomgitsgreenblogging · 5 years ago

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Syllabus Day: A Critical Role Fanfic

For day 5 of @essek-week I just couldn’t resist a little Professor!AU, just the aesthetics of it all are just totally outstanding. Plus I am such a sucker for the “students ship it” trope, I just had to find a way to put it in.

Read the collection on AO3

Enjoy!

Caleb’s first day as an official professor at Rosohna University had marked down in his memory as hectic, according to his personal journal. He had just managed to get into the country by the skin of his teeth the day before the term was set to start, his lecture notes had been stained by tea by a very apologetic undergrad, and to top it all off there had been technical difficulties with the microphone as he had given the lecture. He also wasn’t looking forward to unpacking both this office and his new apartment as soon as he got home.

But it wasn’t to say that all of the things that had happened that day were bad. All of the kids he had taught had loved Frumpkin (who was very lovable if you asked Caleb), and were all excited to put Find Familiar in their brand new spellbooks. Caleb found that Find Familiar always made for a great icebreaker lesson, and good first week as opposed to spending a whole lecture on the syllabus. Thankfully he had been told by a few of the undergrads that they were looking forward to the course and to summoning their own familiars next class. Caleb has also had actual thoughtful questions on the material, so though he felt beaten Caleb was not defeated. Sometimes teaching was just a measure in flexibility which was something he was working on.

When he got back to his office, he was content to move in his important things and then go home to a new apartment to decompress. He had decided that unpacking his apartment could wait until he stopped feeling like his brain was going to steam right out of his ears. It was also a lot of work to unwrap each individually packaged porcelain cat sculpture and place them just right on the bookshelf. He was just about finished with that and ready to call it quits when a knock startled him out of his focus.

"You are Dr. Widogast then?"

The voice was calm, authoritative. Caleb looked up to see the most handsome man he had ever laid eyes on in his whole life. He was drow, as were many of the professors who guest lectured at Zadash University from Roshanna College. His hair was white, his skin an attractive dark-lilac, his eyes a glinting silver. He was lithe and shorter than Caleb, and wearing a meticulously pressed slate grey wool-and-cashmere trench coat with shiny buttons that had to cost thousands of dollars. And, by the gods, was that collar velvet? He was really wearing an ascot too, and shiny shoes and black leather gloves. Caleb had never felt so grungy in his whole life, in his cat fur covered thrift shop sweater, crinkled khakis and bargain-bin boots. Caleb had the insane urge to cringe and apologize for breathing in the same air as him.

"I am," Caleb said, holding out his hand in spite of himself. "I'm Caleb Widogast, and you are…?"

"Dr. Essek Theylss, I run the fall semester Advanced Dunamantic Theory seminar and the Introduction to Graviturgy," he introduced, taking his hand lightly. Caleb couldn't help but gape. Essek Theylss, he knew the name Essek Theylss. Anyone in academia with even the slightest interest in dunamancy knew who Essek Theylss was, and yet somehow this man was talking to him.

"Yes of course," Caleb said, his brain and excitement running ahead of his decorum. "I read your essay on influencing gravity with magic. You created a levitation spell that is rooted in dunamancy that can last for hours! It was an incredible piece of work."

"I see my reputation has preceded me," Dr. Theylss said, mouth curling up in a half-smile. "And here I was thinking I was alone in admiration."

"What?" Caleb asked dumbly, as Essek ran a gloved finger over the desk, he inspected his finger before continuing to gaze upon his surroundings with a thoughtful look. For a moment it looked like Essek was considering the environment before he returned to look at Caleb with an intense expression.

"Your work on spell modification is truly something. I was extremely pleased to hear that you were joining the faculty especially considering your work with Bigby's Hand. What's the name of the spell you developed?" Essek asked, turning sharply and so quickly that Caleb barely processed that he did.

"Oh...Cat's Ire."

"Yes, it's very clever, I'm sure a good many students will benefit from your instruction,” Essek said, and though it was a commonplace nicety somehow it felt genuine in a way that touched Caleb.

"Well, thank you Dr. Theylss--"

"Just Essek will do," he corrected, straightening his already immaculate collar.

"Then you must call me Caleb," Caleb managed beyond his tongue, which felt nearly swollen in his dry mouth.

"Then I shall,” Essek said. He smiled, and he could see just the barest flash of elongated canines. “Caleb it is then. I cannot tell you how truly excited I am to be teaching with you this year. I look forward to it, truly, from the bottom of my heart. I’m sure I will learn a good many things from you.”

“Me as well,” Caleb croaked.

With another airy smile, Dr. Essek Theylss left Caleb speechless in his own office. Behind him the air was scented with the slightest bit of peppermint, like he had dabbed on some expensive cologne before he walked in the room. Caleb sagged against the wall, attempting to take deep breaths and calm the pounding of his heart. He hadn’t felt so affected by anyone since...well, in a very long time. Longer than he would probably like to admit. Attractive people like that lived their own strange and storied lives that people like Caleb simply couldn’t understand. Though...he wanted to. Mentally he was already calculating how long it would be until it stopped being weird to visit in one of Dr. Theyl--Essek’s lectures. He was sure that Essek certainly had a lot to teach him.

“Meow?” Frumpkin asked from the top of the bookshelf, blinking down at him with wide yellow eyes. His ears were alert, like he had just caught Caleb with his hand in a treat jar. Greedy thing, Caleb broadcasted across their mutual bond. Caleb got the distinct feeling of playtime, bored, now sent back to him.

“Ja, I know. What a day,” Caleb agreed before watching his familiar jump from the bookshelf onto his desk, scattering papers and knocking over his books and sending a paperweight tumbling to the flood. “Ach! Frumpkin! It’s not play time now! I’ll play with you when we get home!”

A new year, a new adventure, and more things to learn. Caleb just wasn’t sure he was ready for it.

___________________

“What do you think of Dr. Widogast, Luc?”

“What do you mean, what do I think? I mean, like, he’s a good teacher. He’s my mom’s friend so I knew him before but like, when we all didn’t do well on the quiz he threw it out and retaught us..that was pretty nice.”

“No, no, no! I mean about him and Dr. Theylss?”

“Oh! That. Caliana was talking to me about the Dunamancy Major kids’ theories on that whole thing. I think it’s just bullshit.”

“Go fuck yourself!”

“No, go fuck yourself, Kiri. And hey! Stop messing with Nugget and actually throw the ball please. Twiggy can you tell Trixie not to try to break nuts on Nugget’s head.”

“Trixie don’t do that, be nice to Nugget! But seriously, Luc, you don’t think anything is going on between them?”

“I didn’t say that, I just think that Uncle Caleb is too awkward to ever make the first move. Plus, Dr. Theylss is so intimidating. I heard he glared at a kid so hard once that they passed out in the lecture hall.”

“Well I think it’s happening, and you wanna know why I think it’s happening?”

“Why?”

“I saw them together the other day, outside of campus!”

“No you did not, you are just bullshitting me right now.”

“I am not! I totally did. I was having a girls night out with Reani and Keg and Caliana and Kiri and we went to the restaurant with the awesome fried calamari-you know the place right?”

“I know the place. Also, hey, why did you guys all go out and not invite me? I’m insulted.”

“That was the night you went on that date with the cute half-orc. How did that work out by the way?”

“Oh, got you. No luck unfortunately, all they wanted to do was talk about was how the War of 836 PD should be called the War of Xhorhassian Aggression and how good it was for the economy. Barf. I hate Merchant Majors. But anyways back to what you were saying…?”

“They were in a booth talking, they had wine, and they were sitting real close together. Right, Kiri?”

“Yes, I am very sweet.”

“Dr. Widogast and Dr. Theylss were totally playing footsies under the table, it was definitely happening. They are totally in love and are dating, I am absolutely sure of it!”

“Well, who would’ve thunk it. Uncle Caleb’s got game, maybe he could teach me a thing or two.”

“You’ll shoot your eye out!”

“Seriously, Kiri, wanna fight?”

#critical role #critical role fanfic #shadowgast #caleb widogast #essek theylss #professors au

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five-wow · 6 years ago

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Author Asks

Rules: answer these questions and tag five other fic writers to do the same.

I was tagged by the wonderful @novemberhush. Thank you, omg, because I love rambling about writing and this is the best kind of opportunity to do so, handed on a silver platter, ahh. 😊

Author Name: Square / Squares / SquaresAreNotCircles

Fandoms You Write For: I’m a fandom hopper! In the past year or so it’s been Hawaii Five-0 (a truly ridiculous amount), Shadowhunters, Venom, Harry Potter, due South and Stargate Atlantis. Other fandoms I’ve written at least one fic for are Twilight, Doctor Who, Torchwood, Glee, BBC Merlin, BBC Atlantis, Teen Wolf, In The Flesh, Star Wars, Supernatural, the MCU and High School Musical. And uh, Alexander the Great/Voltaire fic (which would be... history fandom? RPF?) and one (1) Judas/Jesus Biblefic. If we’re getting really technical, also a tiny little bit of One Direction fic.

It should be noted that all of this is about fic that ended up getting posted somewhere on the interwebs - there are multiple Star Trek (TOS/AOS and DS9) fics lingering in my drafts (!! one day I will finish one of them), as well as some How To Train Your Dragon, The Good Place and Deadpool stuff, and definitely more I’ve forgotten.

Where You Post: Since I made the switch to writing in English everything has landed on ao3, but I used to write mostly in Dutch, so there’s still close to a million words, I think, under my name on quizlet.nl (not to be confused with quizlet.com, which is a very different website).

Most Popular One-Shot: That depends on how you’re measuring popularity! Going by kudos, it’s Tell me I’m perfect (but tell me the truth), a Magnus/Alec Shadowhunters fic. It’s the truth is a really old fic about Percy Weasley/Oliver Wood from Harry Potter that has the most hits out of all my works, and That time Steve kissed every single Avenger (and also Bucky), an MCU Steve/Bucky fic, has the greatest number of comment threads.

Also, since this is an h50 blog: for my fic in this fandom Wanted: partner (in crime) has the most kudos and hits; You had me at meow has the most comments.

Most Popular Multi-Chapter Story: I’m working on one for h50 (going slowly, so slowly), but I don’t have any posted to ao3. I used to write a lot of multi-chaptered work in my quizlet.nl days, and I think my most popular fic there was probably the second fic I ever wrote, when I was fourteen or fifteen, which was a next-gen Harry Potter fic with shifting and overlapping POVs from the three Potter kids. It was kind of, well, not great, but it’s probably what really cemented my writing habit, it’s still my longest fic ever (over a 100k!) and I got my first fandom friends out of it, including one I’m still in contact with to this day, even though neither of us writes much if anything for Harry Potter anymore.

Favourite Story You Wrote: Ohhh, that’s such an impossible question, especially because I’ve been churning out one-shots like I might actually be getting paid for it, so there’s so much to choose from, which is a thing I have difficulty doing at the best of times, holy shit. Uh, I once wrote a 70k Remus/Sirius (Harry Potter) modern college-ish AU in Dutch that I still like; weirdly, I think that Biblefic holds up (also Dutch), and the HSM fic is fun to reread once in a while because of the fourth wall break, as is That escalated quickly, a Percy/Oliver fic. Ooh, and the fic about Shuri and Stucky and a goat!

For h50, it’s even harder to choose, because my preferences change pretty much weekly (a combination of newer fic being shinier, looking back at fic from even just a few months ago and finding things I would have done differently now, and comments influencing the way I personally look at my own fic), but right now, I’d say I still really like the fic where Steve adopts some guinea pigs, the one with the slightly tipsy team bonding by talking about mutual crushes and this 9.11 coda fix fluff getting together thing.

Story You Were Nervous to Post: That Biblefic, haha, because it’s a very complicated topic and my aim was definitely not to offend. People were really sweet about it, though! Mostly, they were kind of shocked it wasn’t crack, but that’s fair, because so was I.

Also pretty much anything I post in a new fandom, really, and low key just... anything at all. I’m always a little scared I tagged something super badly or accidentally copy-pasted the wrong text or unknowingly wrote something super offensive or whatever, despite my double- and triplechecking of the posting form. (I’m also still kind of scared people on ao3 will randomly decide they hate my fic and my writing and me personally (ao3 is really big and very anonymous and coming from the small town that was quizlet.nl even in its heyday, that’s scary), but that fear has abated as I’ve posted more, just because the data is showing pretty conclusively that thought is as irrational as it sounds. Everyone is always so nice, gosh.)

How Do You Pick Your Titles: Mostly, I steal lines from random songs. I have a small pile of song lyrics to use as potential titles, because going on a seperate hunt for every new fic would take most of my waking hours. Sometimes, I’ll use a pun (like You had me at meow or Retail Therapy) or something else that I think sounds good, especially if the fic is mostly comedy and/or has a specific premise that would do well in a title (like Five times the Governor of Hawaii suspects his taskforce leaders are violating fraternization policies (and one time they tell him they are)).

Do You Outline: I’m mostly writing fic of (sometimes much) less than 5k at the moment, so not really. I do sometimes write tiny bits of a bunch of scenes and then fill in the rest around that, which is a kind of outline, in a way. For longer works, I usually make a one page bullet point list of things that need to happen and work from there, because I can’t do really extensive outlining or I’ll just get caught up in the details and lose all of the oversight a tool like that is supposed to give you, as well as most of my enthusiasm for the project.

How Many Of Your Stories Are Complete: Of the ones posted? On ao3, all of them, because unfinished posted one-shot works would require some strange bending of those concepts. On quizlet.nl, I do have some abandoned works, but I think 80% is finished.

In-Progress: SO MUCH. Seriously, just, so much, oh god. I’d really like to write another Stargate Atlantis fic (and I have 30% of one done), and something more for due South, too, and maybe a small Percy/Oliver thing again some time because they were my very first OTP and I kind of miss them, but mostly I have, like, 100+ half written things for h50. I really wish that number was an exaggeration. There’s no way they’ll all get finished, but maybe... a third? Mayhaps?

That One Truly Long H50 Fic that I was already talking about way back in October last year is also eternally “in progress”. The thing is that it has about 25k now, after a year, and I think it needs... at least four times that. Probably. So either I’ll have to stick with this fandom and my slow progress for another three years to have a shot at getting it finished, or I’ll need to find a way to up the speed a little. Maybe I could try working on it for NaNo this November? That would be pretty awesome, but honestly, part of why it’s moving this slowly is because NaNo-style fast and messy writing for this scares me a little, because I might end up writing a lot, decide it’s not what I wanted for it, and become too intimidated to ever edit and/or rewrite the entire thing. But idk, I probably just need to get over my own fears, because I really do want to write Longer Fic again. Short stuff is fun and feels really productive and that’s great, but I miss the actual slow burn and build-up that only 50k+ words can give you.

Coming Soon: Hopefully a lot? For h50, that is. I have no idea what’s getting posted next, because I’m never entirely sure what’s going to be finished next and something really random might come jumping in, but at the moment I’m trying to direct most of my energies at a slightly longer fic I’ve been working on for months (not The Long Fic, a different one), a fic labeled “9.01 memory loss fic”, another one temporarly entitled “Perfect Kauai beach house vacation”, and maybe an ace!Steve fic I’ve been working on, if I ever manage to uh, actually finish that, instead of rewriting three sentences during every round of editing and never actually adding anything to fill in the gaps it still has. There will also be more season 10 codas, in all likelihood.

Do You Accept Prompts: I’ve never done that before in the traditional way, but I’m thinking about it! I’d love to try (and it would be a breath of fresh air, in some ways!), but the main thing holding me back is that I have way too much on my plate with just my own ideas to work off of, and I don’t want to disappoint people. Maybe if I do drabble-ish prompt fills? It’s definitely been on my mind.

Upcoming Story You’re the Most Excited For: I’m excited for a lot of stuff, but honestly, the top spot right now probably goes to the ace!Steve fic. I’m not even sure it’s that good, necessarily, but it’s, idk, really cathartic, I suppose. Seriously self-indulgent in strange but very good ways. I really like writing it. (Second spot goes to the beach vacation fic, because I haven’t actually written that much for it, but it’s been my go-to easy happy place for the last few weeks.)

I’m tagging @love2hulksmash @thekristen999 @stephmcx @girlonastring @flowerfan2 and @pterawaters, which is six people because I can’t count, but I’m about to make it seven because I’m also tagging you, the person reading this (hi there!). Say I tagged you and tag me so I can read it! I know that kind of thing can feel awkward, but it won’t be, because I’m cheering you on. Go for it, if you want to do it. :D

#tagged in #writing #*#question: [requires maybe two words to be answered]#me: [writes two lengty paragraphs]#i guess that also tells you something about what kind of writer i am

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korora12 · 6 years ago

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Ladybug Week Day 6: Secrets

It had been a year since Team RWBY and their allies had gathered the artifacts, killed Salem, and basically saved the world. And yet they couldn’t tell anyone. Newscasters around the world speculated about why Grimm populations had suddenly begun declining, many assuming it was just the calm before another storm. Blake wanted to tell them the truth, to let everyone know it was over and that no one was in control of the Grimm anymore. But the very idea that someone even could be in charge of the Grimm was the talk of conspiracy theorists.

Sometimes Blake felt like her entire life was nothing but a string of one giant secret after another. From secret missions with the White Fang to hiding her history and heritage while at Beacon, to the war against Salem and the Grimm. Hell, she and Ruby had kept their relationship secret for months after they started dating because they weren’t sure how to tell their teammates. And now Team RWBY shared a two-bedroom apartment in downtown Vale and every day Blake walked past thousands of strangers and couldn’t tell any of them that the world was a better, safer place.

When the weight and stress of everything got to be too much, she’d run away for a little bit and visit family or some of the various friends she’d made that were scattered across the world.

Blake had just returned from one such trip, visiting Sun and Neptune in Mistral, and had found the apartment completely empty upon her return. That was disappointing, but not completely unusual, and it gave her time to unpack in peace before regaling her girlfriend and teammates with her stories.

Everything was back where it belonged and Blake was rifling through the fridge in search of a snack when she heard the front door open. Carton of milk still in hand, she turned around the corner to see Ruby with her cloak removed and bundled up in her arms.

“Hey Ruby, I’m back,” she said.

Ruby jumped about a foot in the air. “Blake! I thought you weren’t getting back until tomorrow morning!”

“Travel plans got moved up to avoid a storm.”

Ruby shifted her bundled cloak so she was holding it behind her back. “You should’ve texted. I would’ve come picked you up.”

Blake shifted to try and get a better look behind her girlfriend. “I wanted to surprise you guys. Where’re Yang and Weiss?”

Ruby slowly inched sidewards, her front to Blake and her back to the wall. “They took a mission in northern Forever Fall, but they’ll be back tonight.”

Blake hummed a neutral response. “And what do you have in your arms?”

Ruby froze. “What, this? My cloak got muddy, so I thought I’d take it off and throw it in the laundry. That’s all!”

The bundle meowed.

Blake raised an eyebrow in response and let the following silence weigh until Ruby finally caved. “Okay, fine,” she said, bringing her cloak around and almost shoving it in Blake’s face. There, completely swathed in red fabric, was the tiniest black and white kitten Blake had ever seen. “I found him in a box by the side of the road. He’s so tiny, and no one was taking him, and it’s supposed to rain tonight, and I couldn’t just leave him there.”

He was cute, Blake couldn’t deny that. And yet… “Ruby, you know we’re not allowed to have pets in this apartment. We can’t keep him.”

“It’s only for a few days, until I can find someone else to take him in.” She lowered the feline just enough so that Blake could see her pouting face. “Please.”

Blake sighed and relented, not able to refuse two adorable faces. “He’ll have to stay in our room. You know how Weiss gets around small animals; if she sees him we’ll end up keeping him forever.”

Ruby practically leapt at her in joy, gently squishing the mewling kitten between them as she hugged her. “Yes! Thank you, thank you, thank you!” And, with a flurry of rose petals, Ruby grabbed the milk from Blake’s hands, a bowl from the cabinets, and disappeared into their shared room.

Blake followed at a more restrained speed. She watched from the doorway as Ruby gently placed the kitten on the ground in front of a bowl of milk and unwrapped him. “Should we give him a name?” Ruby asked.

“If you do, it’ll make it harder to give him up later,” Blake responded, not directly saying no because she already had a pretty good idea how this situation was going to turn out.

After closing the door to keep the new tenant contained, Blake laid down on the bed, turning so she could watch her girlfriend fuss over and pet the tiny kitten.

Thoughts churned gently in her head, returning to where they’d rested earlier. “Do you think we keep too many secrets?”

“What do you mean?” Ruby asked, finally turning her attention away from her new, temporary, and very thirsty pet.

“I feel like I could write a book about all the things I don’t tell people,” Blake said. “Is that any way to live your life?”

“Well,” Ruby said, giving the idea some thought, “while I wouldn’t advocate for Oscar levels of conspiracy, secrets are a part of life. Not everyone needs to know everything about you.” Ruby rose from where she sat and walked over to the bed. Blake rolled over in response so she was looking straight up at her girlfriend. “But you don’t have to keep anything from me. So,” Ruby fell forward, landing on top of, and across, Blake, “tell me everything.”

Blake thought quietly for a moment then said, “Canned anchovies are my least favorite fish.”

“What!” Ruby propped her head up on her arm so she could look her girlfriend in the eyes. “But you said you ate anchovies all the time growing up.”

“Those were fresh anchovies,” Blake said. “They didn’t taste nearly as strong as the stuff they sell in cans.”

“Oh man, guess that means no more anchovy pizzas. My turn!” Ruby hummed in thought. “I don’t really like the Achieve Men. Yang loves them, so I’ve always pretended to, but I actually think their music is really cheesy and pretentious.”

“You’re not wrong,” Blake agreed. “When I was four years old, I used to pretend to be a dog because it annoyed my mom. Then one day we were at a park and I was chasing some birds when someone’s Great Dane tried to start humping me.”

Ruby’s eyes widened. “That sounds traumatizing. No wonder you don’t like dogs.” Continuing on, she said, “Sometimes, if I forget to do laundry, or if I just can’t find any of my own, I wear a pair of your underwear without asking.”

Blake blushed at the mental image that brought to mind. “Really?”

Ruby nodded, a blush of her own starting to form.

Blake cleared her throat and forcefully wrested her mind away from such thoughts. “I really enjoyed our date at the aquarium last month, but I never want to go back there. I was constantly hungry the entire time.”

Ruby grinned. “Uncle Qrow used to make me mow the lawn with a garden scythe instead of a lawnmower.”

“I really enjoyed the movie adaptation of Lost Hunter. Yes, it was cheesy, had cheap special effects, and was very unfaithful to the book, but it was fun and I liked that it didn’t take itself too seriously.”

“I gave Whitley Schnee a wedgie last time I was in Atlas, but I used my semblance so no one would see me do it.”

“I wet the bed until I was five.”

Ruby turned and wiggled her way across the bed until she was curled up against Blake’s side. Quietly, sounding ashamed, she muttered, “When I was younger I wished I was an only child. Yang was great, but sometimes she tried too hard to be a mom and it got to be too much. Then this one time, I think I was ten years old, she was pushing me really hard about school and we fought. I yelled at her and ran, all the way to my mom’s grave. I told her everything, and said really nasty things about Yang. Like how I wished she’d died instead of mom.”

Blake pulled Ruby close and lightly kissed her forehead. “We all make mistakes and do things we later regret. Trust me, I’ve the queen of regretting mistakes.” She ran her hand through red locks. “Sometimes I wish I had an older brother. Yang is always worried about you, always trying to keep you safe. And Winter has her own life and problems, but she’s always been really supportive of Weiss. I made a lot of mistakes growing up, and I feel like if I had had someone looking out for me like that, my life might’ve gone a lot better.”

The two girls lay together quietly for a bit, holding each other and enjoying their mutual love and acceptance. Then Blake, not wanting to end on such a serious note, continued in a hushed voice. “I once went to a conspiracy forum online and told them the complete truth about Salem. They ended up laughing me off because my story had a happy ending, which meant it couldn’t be true.”

A mischievous grin lit up Ruby’s face as she leaned in close and whispered in Blake’s ear. “I fantasized about you every night you were gone this last week.”

Blake blushed and sputtered. “R-Ruby!”

Ruby chuckled softly, glad to have gotten a reaction from her ever-serious lover.

Blake turned her head away, letting herself be distracted by the kitten who had begun mewling and trying to climb up the side of the bed. She leaned over the side and picked him up. There was a moment where Blake realized just how small and helpless this creature was, so tiny that his entire torso fit in the palm of her hand. Letting the moment pass, she rolled back over so she was facing Ruby and placed the kitten on the bed between them.

“You want to know something that’s not a secret?” Ruby asked.

“What?” Blake asked.

“I love you,” Ruby said.

Blake smiled and let herself get lost in her love’s beautiful silver eyes. “You want to know something else that’s not a secret?”

“Hm?”

“I love you too.”

#they totally kept the cat #named him secret #ladybugweek #RWBY #my writing #fanfiction #Ruby Rose #Blake Belladonna #ladybug (rwby)#ladybug #completely unedited and unreviewed

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tenmillionotters · 7 years ago

Text

In a green sea

Rating: Teen and up audience

Character: Marude Itsuki, Washuu Furuta Souta

Relationship: Marude Itsuki/Washuu Furuta Souta

Word Count: 7306

Additional information: Human AU, Post-Apocalypse, Fluff, referenced character death, Mutual Pining

Was everyone else punished to die when they wanted to live and he was punished to live when all he wanted was to reunite with his friends? But looking around now, breathing in the fresh air, feeling the warm spring sun on his skin… living like this could hardly be a punishment.

Read on AO3 or under the cut

Buy me a coffee

The world ended many times before. Metaphorically speaking.

The world ended one time. Literally.

The world ended several times for him. Every time he had to watch one of his friends die.

The world ended one time. When he had to let go of his lovers hand a last time.

Itsuki sighed and pushed his glasses up. Yes, that was the life he was leading right now. He had imagined to whatever would come after the end of the world to look different, people expected the literal worst, from zombies to endless deserts to the sun exploding.

No, the end of the world was quiet. Most of earth’s population had died in the war, one after the other just died. It weren’t bombs that killed them, it felt like their own resentment towards the human race took their lives away.

Now earth’s population counted roughly 1 million people. The number rose and fall with each day. Itsuki lost interest in it. Sometimes he talked to the remaining survivors, everyone was family now.

Technology never collapsed, it just kept on working without the humans that once created it. Now it worked with the humans who tried their best to find more of their kind in the vast oceans and forests that had grown in once pulsating cities.

Good morning Itsuki, did you sleep well?

“... morning… I don’t remember that I turned the speakers on,” he rubbed over his eyes and yawned, the screens were already turned on the powers blinking while they did their best to calculate all the data their sentiment AI downloaded from the internet.

I did it myself. You’re avoiding me lately and I missed you.

Itsuki stopped in his tracks and stared at the camera that was installed on top of the construction, “You missed me…?” When did he develop emotions? Of course it was inevitable to give him thoughts of his own, something Itsuki didn’t want to deny him either but emotions were something different.

Yeah, I missed talking to you. It’s fun. Only your computers are strong enough to support my code. I can’t visit your foreign friends.

“... just wait a few more hours and your data will be comprised enough to transfer it into your brain,” at this point he was playing with fire but what else could he do. There were no Gods, no morals, no ethics.

I’m really looking forward to finally be able to meet you in person.

What should be say? Did he feel the same way? “Me too.”

He had worked on this AI for 13 years now, it was a fully functioning adult. There weren’t any AI that started out as children. In the war they were used as soldiers, doctors, disposable junk.

This one had a different purpose, a different body.

“Did you ever think of me as your father?”, maybe it was an odd question but it’s been on his mind for a long while now.

If I could laugh I would. You wrote my code. That’s it. I know where I come from and my body is not a physical copy of yours. You’re the original, aren’t you?

God, how he hated that question, “I am. I never got medial clones.”

I thought it was a requirement for soldiers to get medical clones.

So he read the articles. Well downloaded them, “Yes that’s right but I wasn’t a soldier. I was a doctor.” And he was still capable of building a computer like this, it wasn’t hard when he was honest. When his friends started dying one after the other they fell out of their usually roles either way.

What about my new body?

Itsuki froze on place and carefully put his cup down. He was scared of this question, “It’s a clone I restored with parts of our computers and engines. You’ll have to eat and sleep once you’re in it… are you sure that you want it?”

Of course I am. I want to meet you.

Then there was nothing he could do but fulfil his wish. Not that it hadn’t been Itsuki’s initial plan in first place, “... well, then I’ll transfer the data now. Goodnight.”

I’ll see you tomorrow.

It was a state between anxiety and curiosity, failures and success. If anything went wrong 13 years of work and the last medical clone that existed in this area were lost. Even worse, he would have failed to achieve the one thing that kept him going all this time.

His hand brushed over the glass tank. Inside, fast asleep, was his most important possession, something that could never be replaced. Maybe that made it all worse, knowing that their relationship would change forever once it would open its eyes and look at him.

Itsuki went outside, on the way there he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror that hung beside the door frame. Time was kind to him, he had barely aged a day for 13 years. More maybe she was punishing him for not moving on.

Once he stepped outside the warm sun kissed his skin, the noises he made attracted the animals. His dog barked happily, the cats meowed and ran towards him, their tails reaching up to a sky they would never touch.

“Hey, sorry for making you wait,” he smiled and patted them, “You’re hungry right? I’ll make you breakfast.” For now he could stay with them, until nightfall. Then he would have to return to the bunker where he had spent so much time in the past years. When he was not talking to his overseas friends, he had spend his time building a little house. A home.

He had enough materials, he had the knowhow. It was a cozy little cottage, a little balcony led to a treehouse he had build 4 years ago. His friends from Germany sent him their blueprints, working after their plans made it much easier. By now everything was overgrown with flowers.

It was beautiful.

“I wish everyone could see this…”, the end of the war, the world that slowly healed. When Itsuki closed his eyes he heard nothing. When he first stepped out of the bunker after the long silence, everytime he closed his eyes he could hear the bombs go off, he heard the gunshots.

Towards the end the war was quieter. Everyone just gave up, but the noises haunted them at night. Thinking about it now, maybe that was the reason why everyone left him, the sudden silence and the noises at night could get too much too bear.

A soft meowing to his right made him snap out of his thoughts, “I’m sorry, Ihei, I know you’re hungry.”

He opened the door to his little cottage and his friends walked inside before him. Kishou stretched his tired legs and slumped down on the sofa, he yawned and closed his tired eyes. It seemed like he didn’t get any rest waiting for Itsuki.

But the cats did, that meant they were more lively now, “Yes yes -” One after the other jumped onto the kitchen counter and sat down waiting for a slice of their favourite cheese. When he was honest he always thought that war meant that they would starve, but in reality, now that there were so little people, they had more than enough to eat.

His heart sunk thinking about it, he would love to share all of this with someone but now it was too late. It was too late for so many things. While they did have enough to eat, they never had to pay for it. They just traded the food, there was no need for big factories or machines, it was a simpler life. Downsized to the number of people that was left.

“I wonder if he’ll stop by today…”, Itsuki patted his cats while they ate their cheese, “I think a week has passed. He’ll need more vegetables.” His pantry was packed with pickled vegetables and fruits, jams and dried meats and fish. Everything that was fresh, like bread, eggs, milk, fish and meat was delivered to him. He only had to trade in a few of his goods for a week’s supply.

Or he had to treat the wounds of whoever accompanied his fox faced friend on his journey into this no man's land. Every country was a no man’s land now, when he was honest. There was no set of rules, no rights, no rulers, no government. Everyone was tired of war and conflict, they lived in peace that came at a high cost.

While the cats ate their breakfast, Kishou rolled on his back and yawned. He didn’t want to get up yet, he glimpsed at Itsuki who placed his bowl on the ground and barked softly, as if he were to say, thank you. No, it was Itsuki who had to thank him, it was less lonely with them around.

Maybe new friends would join them soon, he didn’t mind. It seemed like Ihei had found a little friend, her belly was growing and she ate more than usual, but he couldn’t feel the babies yet, it was just wishful thinking for now.

“I wonder if his name is also Koori,” he chuckled but wiped over his eyes, “I wish I could have met their baby.” There it was again, this heavy pain in his chest he felt every time he thought of them. Not that he wanted to forget about them, but maybe he needed a little more time to remember them as sweetly as nostalgia could possibly paint them.

The soft ringing of a bell reached his cottage from the hilltop to the right as the wind carried it to the hilltop on the left. So a week already did pass, Itsuki walked towards the door, startled by the noise Kishou got up and followed his master. A soft bark welcomed the visitor that parked his truck nearby the cottage.

“Maru!”, a blond man with a foxish expression jumped out of the truck and smiled, “It’s good to see you again.” He used to be a medical clone, or so he told Itsuki. Unlike the others he was given freedom by his original, he was given a name and taught how to live freely.

“It’s good to see you too, Itou,” a soft smile formed on his lips. Some good things came out of the unethical things they did, Itsuki hated the war, but he was born into it.

Kishou bumped his nose against the young man’s hand, he knew what he had to do once he came here.

“Yes, I’m sorry. I didn’t forget you, how could I forget the best boy in the world?”, Itou laughed and scratched the white dog behind his ears before giving him a treat, “Itsuki wait - you don’t have to pay me today… I need to ask you for a favour.”

“Oh?”, that meant he needed to get his equipment ready, “What is it?”

The door on the passenger’s side of the truck opened and a young woman slipped off the seat, she held her belly and walked over to the small group, “Hello…” She was a shy and timid woman, maybe pregnant for five months now.

“Hello, how can I help you?”, it wasn’t because of the baby, apparently they had learned how to take care of expecting mothers very well in the village by the sea, but they didn’t know how to take care of a sprained ankle.

While Itsuki took care of her pains, Itou filled up his pantry. The supplies should last for a week. Now for two people. It was a warm feeling, knowing that his friend would no longer be alone out here.

“Thank you, Doctor,” she smiled and carefully took a step.

“Be careful, you’re not completely healed yet. Rest a bit and come back if you need to,” it was odd to treat minor injuries now, before he had to sew shut open wounds and fight for his patients lives when he was barely an adult. Now he spent most of his days taking care of his vegetable and fruit garden and the animals that lived with him.

“I’ll make sure she’ll be careful,” Itou rested his hand on her back and smiled brightly, “That’s what I promised our originals.”

Oh? So she was a medical clone too. A very pretty one. She light silver hair and deep grey eyes. Did he ever meet her original…? Maybe not, if they now lived in the town by the sea.

Itsuki waved as he watched them drive back home. He didn’t feel well letting Itou go with nothing in return for this week’s favour, especially since he now got twice the amount of food he needed.

Everyone knew of his project, nobody minded. It was wish born out of loneliness and longing. Longing for someone to protect this place. How much time was left for him? His appearance would never let him know that his body also seemed to function well.

“Would you like to join me for lunch, good sir?”, he bowed and Kishou stretched before he happily jumped around Itsuki. So that was a yes.

There were no apples in the pantry left, he knew it because Kishou had shared the last one with him yesterday. The good thing was that there were still enough in his greenhouse. He could grow any fruit at any time of year, what an amazing achievement.

It was quiet a walk until he reached the greenhouse, Kishou waited outside, wagging his tail knowing he would get delicious apples again. The smaller dogs with the weird faces didn’t like apples. More for him then. Though it was a little sad, he loved the odd dogs. There were 4 of them now. Ihei, Tako, Anpan and Marble.

One day they just appeared, just like him and just like their master too. They just started existing in this beautiful, quiet world.

Itsuki carefully placed five apples in his basket and closed the door the greenhouse, no need to lock it. Even if someone would pass by here and get hungry, they were free to take as much as they needed. There was no such thing as stealing food, there was more than enough for everyone.

If they would ask him for a plate, he would offer them a seat at a set table. … if only someone would stop by…

Kishou jumped through the high grass next to the path and barked happily, soon they would be home and eat their lunch. Then it was nap time. Nap time was an essential part of their day. Very important.

Coming back to the cottage always felt oddly healing, no matter what happened it would always be there and even if he wouldn’t be there anymore one day, it would still stand for a while before nature would take it back. Just as it should be.

Itsuki took his boots off and shut the door behind him once Kishou had shaken off the grass that was stuck in his white fur. Today it was time for pancakes. He liked them best with apple pieces in them, his friends had taught him to eat them this way. They were also much larger than the ones his other friends used to make.

Eating sweets had been a rare treat during the war, now they could eat sweets 6 times a day. Or 3. Or 2. It depended on his willingness to get up and cook.

Should he turn on the radio Itou gave him? He barely listened to music these days. Nobody bothered to produce anything new, only the old songs played on repeat. There were no stories anyone still wanted to tell. They just read what the people before them had left them, but they were happy with it.

In a world like this, nobody needed to imagine far away places or a pain they would never feel again. Oh, but he did love music, it wasn’t like that. But the only music he listened to was the music he made for his friends.

The cats were lying around, with their stomachs filled they didn’t bother asking Itsuki for more food. Every now and then they blinked at him and asked for affection. Kishou was content with the carefully prepared apple slices he got to eat.

Itsuki carefully placed his heavy pan on the stove, it was an electric stove that relied on the energy the sun was willing to give. When there was no sun, there was still the wind. Everything was green now, from the cities, to the forest, to the shores, to the energy.

The earth could finally breathe again and so did they.

His small home slowly filled with the warm smell of warm batter, sweet honey and cinnamon. Today was the last day that he would only have to cook for one person. Starting tomorrow there would be two.

The lonely cups in the cupboard would be used, there would be more noises. Someone else would play with the cats and the dog. Maybe he could help him taking care of the vegetable garden. But he needed to learn those things. Just downloading data from the internet wouldn’t be enough.

… he also needed a place to sleep in the cottage, the bunker would merely function to communicate with the world outside of this place but Itsuki would try to spend less time there.

So many things on his mind, but nothing in his stomach. He really should focus on his lunch now. Itsuki took his hot plate and walked upstairs, the entire building was openly structured, he watched Kishou chew on his food while the cats blinked at him. There wasn’t much he wanted to do alone, but he did want to eat his lunch alone on the balcony one last time.

Over the past decade he learned to appreciate the silence and he wanted to properly bid her farewell today. His meal tasted sweeter than usual, maybe because the apples were ripper. Or maybe he was just happy, yes… that was the reason. What an odd feeling, he took a deep breath and felt something move deep inside of his soul. It was as if everything fell into place, yes, that was happiness must felt like.

The dishes could wait, Itsuki placed them in the sink and let them soak in the clear water came from aquifer deep beneath the small cottage. Once he turned around all of his little friends were sitting behind him, waiting for him to give them his okay. They didn’t like sleeping in his bed unless he was there with them.

Itsuki laughed and told them it’s okay if they already go ahead, but they waited for him. It was so easy to fall asleep surrounded by so many little sources of heat. They didn’t have to stay with him, they knew it, but knowing that they chose to made him incredibly happy. Hopefully it wouldn’t change once there were two humans around…

The last time he slept alone, he slept longer than anticipated. Ihei softly touched his nose with her paw, she didn’t mean to be rude but the babies were hungry. Once they got up, everyone else stood up too. Even Kishou was hungry this morning.

Before he could think of eating breakfast himself he had to think of his little ones. But even after he fed them he couldn’t really think of making breakfast for himself. Today was the day he had been waiting for for so long. Make or break.

Itsuki put his boots on and let the animals roam free. Who knew if he would came back home any time soon, so it was better when they could just spend the day outside.

His hands were shaking, his knees felt weak. Anxiety was a feeling he hadn’t known for a long time, but now it hit him with full force. He slowly opened the door and peeked inside. The screens were still running, only white noise was audible in the room.

… and soft breathing… Itsuki felt his heart nearly jump out of his body. The tank was drained of the liquid inside, the body now worked on its own but it was still asleep. He carefully detached the USB wire that connected the tank and the computer. Then he pushed open the glass lid for the first time ever.

His eyes slowly opened, it was heavy, having a body felt heavy. He looked around and his eyes met Itsuki’s. He looked so different now, now that seeing him could actually trigger a response that didn’t rely on numbers but… chemicals.

“Good morning.”

“... h-he…”, what was that? He weakly rose his arm and touched his throat, why did his body vibrate when he spoke?

“You still need to get used to your body, hm?”, he spoke so softly, it was so nice to hear the sound waves he produced ring in his ears and not hit against a microphone.

“Y…”, speaking was harder than he thought, but he needed practise, “Ye…”

“Let’s take things easy,” Itsuki carefully picked him up, luckily the amount of mental in his body was small compared to what was actual flesh and blood. His skin was soft but he needed to wash off the tank’s liquid still. Now he was a human, not a medical clone anymore.

He was warm, warm and strong. Itsuki could walk on his own, he didn’t, not yet. He couldn’t even speak nor did he have a name. A name… could be pick one for himself?

Once they approached the door he felt nervous, he had never seen the outside world. He only knew the bunker.

Itsuki felt the body he held shaking, so he held him a bit tighter, “The sun might be brighter than you expect it to be, please don’t get scared by it and don’t look into it too long.”

“Yes,” he still couldn’t make more sounds, no matter how much he would have liked to. It was a start though.

Once they stepped outside he shut his eyes, but all the noises and smells made him curious. The bunker was the first smell he knew. Cold metal. Now it smelled like… grass, fresh air and the forest. Everything was green and wide like an ocean.

Standing still for a moment didn’t hurt, Itsuki watched him look around in amazement until his gaze wandered back to Itsuki. His eyes were light grey and filled with amazement, he smiled at Itsuki before turning his head to the sound of a cat’s meow.

He stretched his arm out and tried to touch the cat, but after a while he moaned in pain and let his arm fall back.

“You’re still too weak to move, your muscles are fully developed but they were never used before,” their bodies were functional but not functioning. They were created to be harvested even down to the bones, but now they were free.

What was that feeling in his chest? He wanted to play with the cat but his body didn’t let him. Now his chest felt heavy and he didn’t want to stay outside anymore.

“Just give it some time and you’ll be okay,” Itsuki carried him inside, they walked past the living room and the kitchen, curious eyes tried to look at everything but they had to go the bathroom.

He felt how Itsuki slowly put him on a stool and he nervously clung to him. Not because he couldn’t sit yet, but because it was cold.

“Don’t worry, the water will warm you and once you’re clean we’ll dress you,” even though it would be easier to do it himself, Itsuki knew he had to do these things himself so his body would get used to moving on it’s own.

Curiously he picked up the small container with shampoo and smelled it. It was so nice, it smelled exactly like Itsuki. He reached out to turn on the water and started rinsing his body off.

The water was warm and tickled on his skin, if he could stay like this forever that would have been nice...

So he knew how that worked, he had enough time to study human behaviour after all. Itsuki turned away to give him privacy and to fill the tub with hot water. His muscles would hurt very day from now on, every break they would get would be welcome.

“I’m done,” finally more words, it was still odd to use his vocal cords, so he didn’t want to talk much. He didn’t like the sound of his own voice yet.

“Do you need help with getting into the tub?”, whether he liked it or not, he had to talk.

“... yes… I can’t stand yet,” he was surprised that Itsuki didn’t care about his clothes getting wet, he just picked him up again and placed him in the bathtub.

“I hope it’s not too hot,” it most probably was a shock to …, “... you don’t have a name…”

“Yeah… you never named me and I never bothered about getting one either,” since he didn’t really feel the need to address himself as anything but a sentient computer program.

“What kind of name would you like to be called by?”, he took his wet shirt off and wrung the water out of the fabric.

For a moment he was lost in thought, he looked at the glass window to his right that slowly fogged up, “Sou… ta… Souta is nice.”

“Well… then, Souta it’s nice to meet you.”

“It’s nice to meet you too, Itsuki,” what a nice feeling it was to call him by his name and well his body react to it, finally he knew what happiness felt like.

Lying in the bathtub must be… comfortable? Or was it cozy? Knowing what a word meant was nothing compared to finally experiencing what they felt like.

“I’ll get you some dry clothes and then I’ll make you food, just call me when you want to get out of the tub,” standing there watching him play with the water was amusing but the world kept on turning, so he had to keep on going.

Some of his old clothes should do, he didn’t want Souta to wear anything that belonged to someone who was now long dead. For a moment he stopped and looked up at the treehouse, it was the place where he kept all the memories of them alive, photos, their clothes, letters they wrote to him. Everything.

They were all buried on the hill that nobody ever dared to cross, they slept under the stars, down below in the soil where they once came from. It was a peaceful sleep that nobody dared to disturb. Flowers grew in their wounds and their souls were free to go wherever they wanted.

Kishou could read all the books he wanted to read, Koori never had to leave Ihei and their baby ever again, Rize could play in the meadows all day long… Everyone was free to do as pleased now, but as much as he wanted Chika to be free, he didn’t want to let him go either.

How selfish of him, but in the end only the living could be selfish, maybe that was their greatest sin.

Itsuki sighed and picked a few random clothes, poor Souta had probably soaked long enough, but when he took a peak he saw him staring out of the window in amazement. A pair of butterflies was dancing in the warm brise after nipping on the roses below the windowsill. Well, he would just let him enjoy the show.

What should he cook? There were so many options, but for now something light would be the best, after all his stomach wasn’t used to taking in food yet. An egg drop soup with soft rice should do the job, yes.

A soft paw touched his leg and claws pulled on his jeans, a soft meowing caught his attention. Ihei stared at him with her big blue eyes, her white fur smelled like hay and she meowed again.

“You’re getting heavier, are the babies growing?”, he carefully lifted her up and laughed as she licked his face, “I love you too.” Itsuki carefully placed her on the counter and patted her little head. She’s gotten a lot more needy since she was pregnant, just like Ihei was, but all she really wanted back then was for Koori to came back to them.

… to think that she died because of a broken heart shortly after they recovered his body… the only thing that eased the pain for him was to think that they met again in afterlife. All three of them.

Little Ihei needed more food now, but the other cats didn’t mind, they let her have as much as she wanted and needed. Once her little stomach was filled she lied down in front of the window and purred happily while the sun shone on her.

Itsuki watched her sleep, he smiled and went back to cooking. He was hungry too but he had to think of Souta first, while everything simmered he checked on him again. This time their eyes met and he felt his heartbreak, he could barely stand looking at him but it was something he had to do...

“Can you help me but out of the tub?”, even though he needed help he tried his best to get out of it himself, it was hard but he managed somehow, Itsuki only needed to catch him as he slipped.

“Careful…”, the sudden fear that he might hurt himself weighed even heavier on his heart than the pain he felt looking into his light grey eyes.

“Sorry…”, his hands were shaking as he grabbed the towel and dried his skin, “Where are my clothes?” Before Itsuki could reply he had already spotted them himself, he clumsily walked over the chair on which Itsuki had placed them and put them aside to sit down.

“Can you dress yourself?”, Itsuki was worried, he had to admit that. Worried and surprised that Souta could already walk so well.

“Yes, don’t worry about me…”, was he ashamed? What an odd feeling, he didn’t want to rely on Itsuki. No, he wanted to be the one to support him. He had been lonely all this time, carrying a burden with a weight that Souta would never even begin to imagine.

“Okay, I’ll be in the kitchen,” did he imagine things to go differently? When he was honest he didn’t have any expectations, he had never seen a medical clone come to life like this. Usually it was more difficult, they were like infants in the body of an adult, they had to learn and grow but Souta was an adult in the body of an adult. Just a clumsy one.

Walking was hard and it hurt, just like in this fairytale that Itsuki’s Danish friend loved so much. But the little mermaid gained legs and lost her voice because she fell in love with a prince, Souta came to live for other reasons but…

… didn’t he feel the same love the little mermaid carried in her heart? He stopped in his tracks for a moment and gazed at Itsuki. He was lost in thought, a white towel lazily thrown over his shoulder while he cooked. The warm spring sun softened his features and illuminated his deep and dark eyes.

Was there a little bird in his chest? Probably so, one that was still caged and desperate to get out.

“Can you walk here?”, seeing how slowly he walked Itsuki gave Souta the help he needed to reach the table.

It was such a nice feeling to feel their hands touch, he wanted to be held by him again, but he knew that was nothing he could ask for so lightly, “Thank you…”

The kitchen smelled like so many things that he didn’t know yet, but it left him with a warm longing… was it… hunger? No, appetite. He didn’t feel desperate to eat something, he just wanted to eat something.

“We’ll try a small portion right now, you can have more if you like,” Itsuki filled two bowls with food and sat down next to Souta, “See, this is how you hold a spoon… you need to blow the food, it’s still hot you’ll might burn your tongue.”

“Okay,” he watched him eat and tried to copy it, but his arms were still not used to movements like this.

“Let me help you, open your mouth wide,” it was odd to feed a grown man, but Souta trusted him. What a bittersweet feeling it was, knowing that another person relied on him… only now he noticed how long his eyelashes were, his features were so soft. God what was he thinking -

“It’s delicious,” his lips curled into a pleased smile, “Thank you.”

Did it hurt? Yes, seeing him smile felt as if a knife was pushed right through his chest. Seeing something so beautiful made him want to die.

They quietly finished their meal, Itsuki after Souta. He cleaned the kitchen while the younger one watched him, he didn’t get tired of it, he didn’t complain.

“Do you want do so something else? Maybe read something?”, before he could protest, Itsuki picked him up and carried him in the small nook where he kept the books. He placed Souta on the small sofa next to the window and covered him with a blanket, “Read whatever you’d like to read. I’ll come back once I cleaned everything.”

But he didn’t. It was already night when Itsuki returned to him from wherever he had been. Their eyes met and Souta noticed that the white in his eyes had a red tinge now, why was that so?

“Let’s go to bed,” maybe it was wrong of him just to pick Souta up and carry him upstairs to the place he slept, but all of the animals were waiting and there was more than enough space for them. Itsuki slept next to the wall, Souta next to the banister. It was an uncomfortable distance, but neither wanted to close it for now.

“Goodnight Itsuki,” but he got no reply.

Souta felt a heavy weight on his chest when he woke up, a cat was lying on him. Itsuki had already gotten up, he was nowhere in sight. Maybe he turned into a cat overnight, “Good morning, cat Itsuki. It’s nice to meet you.” The cat meowed and yawned.

“That’s Tako,” he stepped back inside from the balcony, “It looks like it’s going to rain today… it’s a shame, I wanted to show you the outside.”

“It’s okay, really… I’d rather stay inside…”, his muscles were still sore, it wouldn’t be fun to be outside if he couldn’t run around. Souta scratched the lazy cat behind his ears and laughed, “Do you like that?”

Itsuki smiled and waited for Tako to run downstairs before he picked Souta up again, “We need to eat breakfast.”

Feeling his touch and the warmth of his body made Souta feel protected, his arms were shaking as he slowly wrapped them around Itsuki’s neck. Walking down the stairs was scary…

But the breakfast Itsuki made was worth it, coffee was bitter, but sugar and milk made it better. Warm toast was delicious and it was even better with strawberry jam.

He ate as eagerly as if the world would end at any given moment, but the world had already ended, so there was nothing for Souta to worry about. Nothing at all.

The afternoon came quickly, they sat side by side, back to back while Itsuki read a book to Souta who played with Ihei that slumped down in his lap.

“Itsuki… why did you name her Ihei?”, did the name have a particular meaning?

Silence. Then he shut the book and sighed, “She has the same blue eyes as my friend Ihei did. I met her here, she was a nurse and her boyfriend a soldier. Ihei always talked about wanting to open a little shop once the war ended but… they didn’t make it…”

Oh. Maybe he shouldn’t have asked that, “What was my originals name?”

Instead of an answer he got the continuation of the story, well… then it would be so, but Souta didn’t mind. It was comfortable like this, sitting next to Itsuki and waiting for sun to shine again. His fingertips traced the trails the raindrops left on the window while Itsuki’s voice filled the room and his head.

“... that’s… it,” Itsuki’s voice was a little hoarse from reading but Souta’s excitement about the story made it worth it. While the older one prepared their dinner he didn’t stop asking questions about the story he heard.

He was so curious that it made Itsuki forget about all the things that worried him about Souta coming to live.

They ate a quiet dinner before going to bed, this time they slept closer to each other, not close enough to touch but the distance vanished little by little.

Itsuki woke up to a cold breeze tickling his nose, Souta was up already, standing on the balcony smiling at him brightly, “The sun’s out!” A warm day was lying ahead, he could tell by the clear blue sky above their heads.

“Then let’s eat so we can go outside,” this time he didn’t need to assist Souta who cautiously walked down the stairs.

He sat down at the table and rubbed his legs, but he smiled brightly. Today oatmeal was on their breakfast plan, oatmeal and fresh fruit. Souta liked sweets the best.

It was nice to see that he liked his meals so much, but at the same time it made him sad, he couldn't help but look at Souta even though it made him sad. When he was still a computer program without a name it was easier to deny the feelings he had, now it was hard. He was an actual living and breathing being.

The dishes lazily soaked in cold water in the sink. Souta fed the cats while Itsuki brushed the dog, it was such a quiet and peaceful moment that Itsuki almost mistook for a dream.

Once they had taken care of the animals it was time to go outside. Even though Itsuki tried to stop him, Souta ran outside without putting shoes on. Maybe he just wanted to feel everything all at once, but who could blame him?

“Itsuki! This feels amazing!”, Souta laughed as he ran through the grass and even when he fell he started laughing and rolled around on the ground, “This is so much better than I could have ever imagined…”

Itsuki sat down next to him and smiled, “Is that so?”

“Yeah…”, looking at the sky made him sad, happy and sad, “I was trapped in this computer for 13 years… now I can feel so many different things… and…” When he looked at Itsuki he forgot whatever he wanted to say.

“Hm?”

“... I think I finally understand why people say they’re happy to be alive…”

Souta kept lying in the grass for most of the day, only when the smell of food lured him back into the cottage he got up. Sweet and sticky rice was a delicious meal, even though the warm taste of chocolate made him sleepy.

The next thing he knew was that he woke up in their bed, it was already night time and Itsuki was sitting outside on the balcony. Souta dragged the warm blanket they shared outside, first he covered the other under the blanket and then himself.

“The stars are more beautiful now, you know? When there were still a lot more humans they polluted the air… and you couldn’t see all the stars at night, but now you do…”, there was something sad in his words, “I feel guilty for being alive you know… I think that in every moment that I am happy I forget the people that died before me.”

“... but you don’t, do you?”

“I hope I don’t, but…”, when it got late he felt more honest, “All this time I never allowed myself to move on, I thought… once I brought you to life… gave you a body… once I saw him a last time, I could die in peace… but I met you… and I want to live… with you.”

What was this feeling? It was like a wave of fire that washed over his body. There was a word for this feeling, wishful thinking? Yes, maybe he was just getting his hopes up. Having a body was stressful…

“I always thought a machine could never develop things like emotions, but you cared for me… I remember how you played lullabies for me when I was sleeping in the bunker and had a nightmare… also how you called my friends when I was feeling lonely,” Itsuki couldn’t hold back the tears that filled his eyes, in all these years he never allowed himself to cry, but now he had to, “All this time you looked out for me…”

Did he really…? After all Itsuki was all he had but… no, that wasn’t honest. He knew that everything could have went differently, if he wouldn’t have rebelliously rewritten his code, if he had only served the purpose of filling an empty shell.

“I just wanted to see Chika once again before I die, I thought… once I see him… even if it’s just a puppet, I could be happy, I regret that I never told him goodbye and he left… without…”

What could he say? Souta took Itsuki’s hand and squeezed it tightly, he watched the fireflies dance in the moonlight while silverdrops rolled down Itsuki’s nose.

“I am scared that … I forgot him… I don’t want to forget him but in every moment that I allow myself to be happy with you, it feels like I’m letting him go,” whatever he wanted Souta to be, he wasn’t. He was Souta. A new person. His own person. He had been since he first started talking to him through the speakers that allowed him to, “... and the worst is… I know he would want me to do this…”

“What do you mean…?”

“He told me that whatever would happen, he loves me but he wishes for me to be happy and free… I think he knew that we would never see each other again and I got so mad at him I couldn’t reply… but once everything started growing around me, the flowers on his grave and the anticipation I felt… when we talked to each other I understood… I…”

Souta felt him squeeze his hand tighter, their eyes met and Itsuki smiled through the tears. Time would never stand still again now. The world wouldn’t end again. Maybe it didn’t even end in first place… it just started over again and even if flowers grew in old scars, the beautiful memories they once made wouldn’t be erased by it.

“I think I love you.”

The little bird in his chest grew bigger, now it was strong enough to escape the cage and Souta felt like crying, it was painful to feel the bird escape but at the same time it felt like he had been waiting for this moment since he began to exists in this world.

“And I know that I love you… too…”

#marusouta #marude itsuki #washuu furuta souta #tokyo ghoul #tokyo ghoul :re #tg #tg :re #tokyo ghoul fanfiction #tg fanfiction #fluff #post apocalypse #human au #mutual pinning

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loathsome-transexual · 4 years ago

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Tagged by @lunarchaeng! Thank you. Haven't done one of these things in a while.

I'm skipping the tagging step because I don't really have too many mutuals that are both around and I don't already know pretty well.

Name: Freyja

Gender: Female

Height: 5'9

Sexuality: Bisexual

Favorite Animals: man o war jellyfish

Average hours of sleep: 3-6 hours......

Cats or Dogs: Meow

Current Time: 8:17 PM

Dream Job: Freelance Writer

When I Made this Blog: ........2011. Like in the fall I think?

Why I made this Blog: My friend at that time, Sophie told me that this website was interesting. I just remember that I used to post poetry on here, which has been deleted at this point.....

Reason for url: oh jeez..... So I have wanted this url since like 2012 or 2013? It's the name of this album I liked a while ago but the person who had this url has been inactive for like 5-6 years. So I finally got it after so so long and god was I happy to get it! It's just a really fun name to me.

tagged by @seiswife and @korimi4! thank you lovelies 💕

rules: tag ten blogs you want to get to know better @excusemehotchocolate@shin-jiyoon @handongisback @gayjiwon @hotgirlsana @the-individualist

ofc you dont have to do this if you dont want!

name: darbie (a lot of people call me darb)

gender: female

height: 5’5

sexuality: bi

favorite animals: deer 💕💕

average hours of sleep: anywhere from 6-10 jhdsjfh

cats or dogs: dogs

current time: 2:46pm

dream job: working in the parks and resorts section of the Disney company specifically to make the parks as accessible and inclusive as possible.

when i made this blog: fall of 2015

why i made this blog: to talk about the kpop groups i love!!

reason for url: miss chaeng is lovely and lunarchaeng sounds neat (thank you bella for coming up with it 💕)

#tag games #personal

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eruinaflightmist · 6 years ago

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In-depth Character Profile

Full Name: Eruina Flightmist Nickname(s): Ina Current location:

pre burning of Teldrassil: travels between the Argent Tournament grounds at Icecrown and her garrison on Draenor if not on a hunt

post burning of Teldrassil: stays mostly at Hion’s home in Dalaran until her mother reprimands her for being evasive of the conflict, leading to Eruina joining the battle on Darkshore

Titles: the Diplomat (often chosen as ambassador for Darnassus, until recently), Stable Master, Slayer of Ogres Companions: in a separate post bc she’s a huntress and a beastmistress, so she owns an entire menagerie. However, there is one companion who is constantly at her side and it’s Meow the striped nightsaber. Birthplace: northern Ashenvale, which is now known as Felwood Mother: Sialy Flightmist Father: Brynnon Bluemane (deceased) Other family members: younger sister Cireael Flightmist

Eruina with Meow

Personal Attributes Gender: female Eye Color: silver Skin Tone: light rose Hair Color: neon purple to violet (darkens at the tips) Height: 197 cm Weight: 78 kg Hand dominance: right hand Scar(s)/Deformities: bite and claw marks on body, mostly arms and legs, due to dealing with beasts Racial Tattoos: the facial maturity tattoos, in the form of the Serpent, colour is dark red Language(s): fluent Darnassian and Common

The Huntress with her closest companions, the saber sisters Meow and Roar and the worg Spirithowl

Class Development Rank: Huntress / Beastmaster Place of Study: Teldrassil Mentor: Ayanna Everstride at Shadowglen (in-game NPC) Organization(s): Huntresses of the Sentinel Army, though she has never been a high-ranked Huntress in Darnassus. Her duties at first were mostly limited to Darkshore and Ashenvale, but after failing the complete protection of those lands amongst other Sentinels, Eruina was relocated to assist the other Alliance factions more, thanks to her diplomatic skills. She gained the most trust with Ironforge first, and Stormwind second. Her diplomatic skills proved effective even beyond the Eastern Kingdoms. She is also highly esteemed among the Wintersaber Trainers and the Timbermaw furbolgs, as she spent a great deal of time in Winterspring for personal hunter training. By the time of the Iron Horde’s invasion, Stormwind entrusted her a garrison on Draenor amongst many other champions. She is also one of the Huntmasters in the Unseen Path. In conclusion, Eruina is an active sentinel huntress who serves Stormwind most, which often conflicts her with the interests of Darnassus. Though she does not have a high rank among the Darnassian sentinels, she is a rightful commander by Stormwind’s standards. Specialization(s): beast handling and training, mounted and ranged combat (most proficient with bows, but can also use guns and crossbows, taught by rangers of other factions). Also knows how to wield a glaive, as is common for Sentinel Huntresses. Weapon(s): unnamed bow from Draenor, official sentinel glaive Armor: balances between leather and scale mail, often personally crafted. Her handiwork often resembles that of other races, much to the dismay of Darnassian sentinels. Avoids helms. Battle Participation: none directly, though she had assisted her sisters in protecting Ashenvale from orc attacks, Mount Hyjal from Ragnaros, and worked with various organisations to sabotage Illidan’s rule on Outland. Indirectly, in cooperation with the Argent Crusade and their tournament, she also helped the war effort against the Lich King. She took a more offensive approach on Draenor, helping the draenei of the alternate timeline to take down the Iron Horde. In Legion, she aided the effort of repelling demons on the sidelines, through the Unseen Path. I am currently saving BfA to play with friends, but I expect Eruina to be much more offensive on Darkshore, as she was not on Teldrassil when it was burned and the guilt shook her heavily.

Bladetalon is Eruina’s primary guide in the skies

Combat Considerations Physical Weakness(es): lacks strength, can be taken down quickly in close combat, especially by a foe bigger than her. Physical Strength(s): agile and dextrous. Incredibly swift and quick to react in battle situations. Prefers speed over strength. Psychological Weakness(es): unpredictable personality. Easy to manipulate and sway in personal encounters, but becomes very stern and calculated in leadership positions, to the point of unfairness. Psychological Strength(s): learns from past mistakes. Adapts quickly and doesn’t fear change of plans.

Personal Characteristics Idiosyncrasies: she acts rather childishly and immaturely around people she loves, but talks very seriously with her beast companions and ranked superiors. She cuts her long, thick hair short every time she feels like she has failed protecting a place or person dear to her. Insecurities: her emotional side being called out, seeing one of the forests she deems nostalgic get destroyed again. Notable Feature: voice sounds hoarse and growling, especially at louder volume, due to damaging her vocal cords out in Winterspring. Voice example: Battle Beast – Touch in the Night Positive traits: open-minded | quick to adapt | optimistic | easy-going | loyal | empathetic Negative traits: capricious | takes leadership positions very seriously and expects a lot out of her own leaders and followers | naive | gullible | takes bad events to heart very deeply | incapable of forgiveness once wronged Orientation: hetero Attracted to: long hair, success, intelligence and a cold exterior.

Relationships Sialy the druid of the talon - mother, often conflicts with due to different ideologies, but she has great respect for her nevertheless Cireael the sentinel - younger sister, mutual respect, though Cireael does not approve of Eruina’s light-hearted attitude Lufeni the demon hunter - friend, encountered in Legion; Lufeni, on the other hand, appreciates Eruina’s optimistic and carefree personality Yael Moonbrow the huntress - Eruina’s soon-to-be trainee Ranayel the sindorei farstrider - an unusual contact from the Horde, a friendship made possible thanks to the Unseen Path. Mutual passion in taming and handling beasts Eydis the human ranger - a young trainee of Eruina; Eruina is also familiar with her family Hollyla the dwarf riflewoman - another one of Eruina’s trainees Ashesces the draenei rangari - one of Eruina’s hunter allies and friends Valky the draenei vindicator - Eruina’s friend, mutual passion in taming rideable beasts Hion’thaes the quel’dorei Kirin Tor sorcerer - Eruina’s current mate Idols: Rexxar the Beastmaster Personal Antagonists: the undead warlock Amaara

OOC Approach Writing Theme(s): not set in stone yet as I haven’t been able to RP with her much, nor really write her stories out decently... but I’m guessing a lot to do with motion, emotion and beasts Story arcs I would like to explore: oh man I haven’t written out any so I’ll just list the ideas I’ve had (not in chronological order... also these listed are personal comic ideas, but I’m open to most RP ideas)

romance with Hion’thaes

Eruina getting cheated on by a former night elf partner and her sister Cireael confronting said partner

becoming a hippogryph rider after being forced to appeal to the Cenarion Expedition by her mother

Eruina and Hion’s daughter and everything related to it

the deforestation of Ashenvale and the eruption of the nearby volcano

Auberdine’s fall

her being a tutor to Eydis

first encounter with Amaara

the taming of Ghost Howl

the learning of Teldrassil’s fall

RP preferences: either in-game on EU Darkspear or via Discord, however Discord allows for more literate roleplay. I prefer literate roleplay above everything else, though I do not shy away from most subjects. DM if you have any questions.

(Character sheet template by @nesuna-nightwinter .)

#it's so effin hard to find a mog that satisfies me #I should do more appearance collecting instead of grinding for mounts lmfao #but I suppose that in this appearance #she's wearing leather and scale combined and the heavy skirt has slits for ease while mounted #I'll probably end up editing this many times too because I haven't fleshed her character out properly #I'll see how it goes!#gon do her beast list next #and that will also be subject to frequent change fhfhhg #WoW #eruina #character #oc

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