#and me eating a full meal i dont fucking think ive done that in like 3 weeks so thats fuckinf shit

[night-dark-woods]

1, 6, 9 for hapax and fuller, 15 for vexo??

hiii echo sorry this took so long i had to think v hard abt the last one.

1) Does your OC have a voice claim, if so who?

oooh i have never actually thought abt that!!! so no not really, the extent of my knowledge abt their voices is that they both have deeper voices as they are both transfem.

6) If your OC is in a fantasy setting, what profession would they be in the modern day?

Fuller would be basically the same i think but with forcibly improved ethics standards. i think it would be funny to force her to be at a university, she'd be the world's fucking worst P.I. (thinking of my own thesis PI who gave me tasks WILDLY unsuitable for an undergrad student & also was once spotted eating a frozen pizza hunched over the kitchen sink in the middle of the night).

Hapax... honestly given that Hapax is just kind of floating in "canon" with no real drive (she's working for the Reef initially bc it's where she was rezzed, she's a killing machine bc that's what she was Made To Be as a guardian, and she's good at the work and takes pride in it but not driven), i don't think she's the type at all to have her career be her life in any way (healthier, i think). given her utter lack of people skills and general disinterest in a lot of what others care about, she very well might work nights as a janitor.

meet cute(?) where Hapax is trying to fucking clean and gets jumpscared by Fuller still in the lab building at some ungodly hour. i'd never put my girls in the real world though it would be so bad for them :( that house meme but it's like "no! ordinary society will kill the patients! they need life or death stakes and violence to live"

9) How does your OC handle their physical health? Do they take care of themselves?

Hapax takes care of herself decently well! she's got stuff to do and she can't do it if she's not maintaining herself, and she gets satisfaction out of things done well. she loves maintaining her gear (her guns especially) and doesn't regard herself much differently. she's not the type to take a lot of breaks, but she also won't work herself to the bone.

Fuller has never taken care of herself a day in her life. girl runs on whatever horrible fucked up energy drinks they make in the scifi future and like. full meal replacement bars. when she gets fixated on or excited about a new idea, she tends to work nonstop until she physically can't stay awake anymore.

honestly its kind of an interesting mirror where both view themselves as things they need to maintain to do what needs doing, but for Hapax that's a task worth doing in its own right and a neutral thing, but for Fuller having to take the time to do that is frustrating and trivial.

15) Will your OC ever retire? Do you see them making it?

i dont knowww i have to decide. i think so. or something like it. id like to see it make it. i only want characters to be miserable if its their own fault and none of this is its fault.

i think id like to see it fall to maya-as-the-conductor's call and join with the vex expecting that sense of belonging and become part of that expansive all-encompassing multifaceted Self that it remembers and then realize actually it wants to be itself, as fucked up and messy and lonely and hard as it is to be a human, or something very like one. i think that's when it will choose a name beyond its experimental designation (which i need to decide. probably R-[something] for Radiolaria Trial [number] Test Subject No. [number] or something?) bc that's when it will start thinking of itself as a person. ive been listening to a lot of music doing aisle resets at work and i think Human by of monsters and men is a good song for it.

[thatnerdinthecorner]

you know what i make fun of tiktok a lot, bc most of the time it deserves it, but i think that a lot of people on tumblr could use some time on tiktok. a little bit of exposure.

the majority of tumblr users have been here a while and i know we all said that we wouldnt do the whole millenial vs gen z vs whatever comes next thing, but theres a whole lot of people on here taking things from tiktok out of context and going 'oh no look at the next generation, look how terrible' and then saying how awful tiktok is. and tiktok is awful. but its awful bc it harvests data, and is super addictive, and is fucking up the music and publishing industries, and not, i repeat not, bc the younger generation are just so terrible

yeah the whole goncharov rip off was boring and inauthentic and we all made fun of it, but the whole girl dinner and girl math thing. No.

girl dinner isnt promoting eating disorders. are there people with eating disorders that are using the girl dinner trend, yeah, but idk if you know this but any food related trend is going to have people with eating disorders jump on in there, and whilst there are definitely things we can do to mitigate the success of them spreading their gross diets and whatever the next fad laxative is, we shouldnt stop having fun with food just bc any food trend online can be done by people with eating disorders too.

girl dinner isnt some evil trad wife trend, its the exact opposite. women arent using the 'girl' in girl dinner to say la lala la laa look at me, im a little girly who only likes pink and not thinking, la dee da

they use it to say there are certain expectations that we have been taught women have to be beholden to, the idea of the perfect woman who can do it all, raise the kids, do the housework, have the full time job as well, but the kids and housework are full time jobs, and this is exhausting, and heres what i make for dinner when im too tired to cook a full meal, when living up to all the expectations is hard, bc im human, im not perfect, and if its not what a perfect adult woman would do then i guess im not, so heres me eating my girl dinner and i wont be ashamed of that, bc the patriarchy feeds on our shame, and if we arent ashamed of being the perfect woman under patriarchy, then at least in that way, it does not control us, if patriarchy is the panopticon then if we dont fear the watchman, we will never become our own watchman

ill admit, i know less about girl math, bc its popped up less for me (i think its a trend fewer people do, but it could just be the algorithm), but from what i can tell its basically just social/behavioural economics. it illustrates things like the sunk cost fallacy, eg. if ive already put money on an app to pay for my coffee then that coffee is 'free'. the people making those videos dont literally think their coffee it free, they're just saying it feels like its free, which it does, because of the sunk cost fallacy. thats not women being stupid, thats an actual theory in behavioral economics. i've also seen people talk about 'its cheaper to buy something else and get free shipping than to pay less but not get free shipping'. they don't literally think that, and its kind of insulting the amount of people there are seeing women make that joke and immediately assuming that they are too stupid to be joking.

[atiny-piratequeen]

First off, I apologize that’s it’s been minute since I said a simple, how are you? Since all I’ve been doing is word spouting stuff about atx for the last hundred asks. So with that being said, Is your day going good? Hopefully someone not touching the sky with their age tries for you hand, it’s exhausting having only boomers hit on you right?

When I was working my last job, some of them found it quite delightful 😒😒 I was the youngest there and I will never not be traumatized about this one time this couple who worked we me both tried to go behind each others back trying to hit on me. I was so shook when I found out they were together 😭😭😭😭😭 I was like… nah fam I’m good.

Back on the atx note (sorry) but do the boys (those that don’t have a specific diet like jjongie) have any favorite meals, beverages, animals to snack on? And do some of them feed off of magical energy or emotions? (Ex: could woo potential feed off of cosmic or chaotic energy lingering in the air).

Its exhausting because im in a medical type job for these instances, you're expected to just smile and nod along and while i definitely do not do that shit, theres a limit to how rude i can be to defend myself. Which is ass bc i very much would like to tell them to go fuck themselves lmao. Yall cant even take care of yourselves and you got the unmedicated gall to hit on me??? Like ive had more sexual harassment in this place by mfs who are like. My grandma's age and that makes me wanna literally swallow a brick.

As far as how im doing aside form that...eh? Kind of stressing because ive been in a creative mood and i haven’t been able to get the shit i want done as fast as i want it done. Not to mention I've gotten back into drawing (Yeolanni's birthday is the same day as Yeosang’s and next week im going to be streaming with Penny and i want to have my avatars finished by time its stream time and im not satisfied with what i have so far). Im also kind of stressed because im cracking my ass to save for my car especially because i got this unfavorable time limit to get it and i feel like im getting nowhere.

That is,,,wild bro what the fuck?? This isnt rizz this is harizzment

Woo eats any and everything but he also a world eater. Piss him off? Chomp. Your planet is gone. Looking for something spicy? Swallow a star. Apparently it goes down like pop rocks.

Yunho eats souls but also people....mostly souls though.

Mingi goes hunting with San (the rare times the kitty comes out of the den without a fight), but he needs to eat bigger animals/monsters to even remotely get full. A party of dumbass human adventurers who think they can slay him to get his treasure works well too. They dont even get to see the twinkle of his treasure.

Hongjoong and Seonghwa eat your average seafood-based diet. With the occasional human thrown in the mix. Depends if we're in a silly goofy lil mood.

Yeosang is primarily one that feeds off of the energy of his forest. Thats why he can instantly tell when its disrupted. He also feeds off of fear (and joy but yknow)

[crystalline-antimatter]

crawling out of my cave to hijack this post because i was actually talking with my partner [they live in america] the other day and had the mutual revelation that. in america you take food home. in the uk you dont. few places here have take home boxes, and ive never seen one offer for anything more/other than a small piece of cake.

its a trick i learned from childhood and everyone i know does too. you open up a napkin, slip whatever dry-enough-not-to-soak-through-the-napkin food onto it, fold up all the corners, upside down on another napkin and repeat if you're fancy or worried about crumbs, then jam it in your pocket or bag before anyone sees. you're essentially smuggling it out

of course i'm going to look at a huge portion of food, laugh and ask why you need that much- in one sitting, with the portions ive seen [bear in mind its all seen through media too, i dont live in america to really see] it's shocking to think most people can get through that much or even want that much ! its overindulgent king eating lavishly while his peasants starve kinda imagery, except everyone is the overindulgent king. its seems like a poor choice in money spent, food waste, cost and plain appearance as the waitress takes away a plate that looks like it could still be a full meal. especially since, from my experience at least, people not eating their food often leads to the question 'was anything wrong with it'- so they can feed back to the kitchen what they did wrong. so you presumably burned double the amount of money you'd pay for what you actually need to eat, insulted the chef and now the rest has gone to waste. of course im going to think poorly of it and laugh, thats ridiculous for every meal

then my partner told me that the idea is to take food home. that its not just allowed but you'll be offered and encouraged to do so.

theres a difference between leftovers and Leftovers. leftovers here are 'damn and fuck i made too much food. well its going in the bin if i dont eat it, so i'll leave it in the fridge and get to it at some point. dont cook so much next time idiot'. leftovers are literally just an aversion to binning food for the sake of it

i feel like in america it needs a capital letter as a concept. Leftovers seems more of a cultural thing- the idea of making more food to cover multiple meals and share. you send people home from parties with food so they have something for over the next few days. you cook a meal and keep some spare for the household to make use of in the days following when only one wants to eat or different people want different things. you order a huge portion of chicken wings because you're half drunk heading home and will want some indulgent hangover food in the morning when you feel like hell

i remember getting confused by the Incredibles as a kid, talking about leftovers. how much were they wasting to have multiple things that need to be eaten? mrs parr you have NO concept of portions, you're careless, maybe start measuring out how much pasta you're cooking before putting it in the pan? what if nobody eats it, then you've got all that food going to waste- no wonder you need a leftovers night if you're overdoing it by that much! it'll all go in the bin otherwise! the idea it was intentional- so Violet [or anyone else for that matter] had the choice instead of just eating what she was given- that if it werent for plot reasons Lucius could've joined them to eat because there'd be something for him in the fridge... it never occurred to me. why would it? thats not how its done here

Leftovers is the act of providing food ahead of time, leftovers is avoiding waste because you fucked up your measures. one is an purposeful action, the other is a bothered reaction. which is why theres such a clash. american portion sizes are big for the purpose of Leftovers, its made to be a meal and a spare- where big portion sizes here are excess, especially when eating out. you dont get to keep it for later, it goes in the bin, and you still get a huge bill to pay at the end of the night. of course american portions seem bizairre and laughable until you have that context, but it took a surprisingly long conversation for us to figure that out. that leftovers and Leftovers arent the same

same misunderstanding goes for drinks, though this is easier to explain. american drinks are bigger because theyre half ice which obviously takes up more volume. you get about three cubes here. to have the same amount of drink but with more ice, you need a bigger cup.

now to open up a new controversy that also came from this conversation: uk lemonade is fizzy water flavoured with a lemon syrup. not pressed lemon juice with a bit of water and sugar mixed through

Don't get me wrong the USA is a hell country and most of what is considered usamerican culture is a fucking NIGHTMARE and a lot of us are suffering both in and out of the country bc of it but. There's certain things that people outside of the USA make fun of and not in a jovial way that I'm like hmm. Fucka you actually

[ghoullguy]

(ED) so i was reading this one yoi fanfic and i have some complaints bc im a bitch like that

so in this fanfic, which im not gonna name bc god forbid the author sees this and shit starts, yuuri quit skating bc of an ed

now, i have an ed. ive had several actually, since i was 11. first it was bed, which led to ana, which i'd gone into recovery for by 16, after losing a shit ton of weight and muscle, which as a figure skater, affected my skating. i relied on muscle to power me through jumps, and once i lost all the weight and my muscle, it made it difficult for me. so, i recovered. then, at 17, i injured my hip and couldnt skate for a while. this completely ruined me. i was convinced that because i had to take off time to heal, i could never compete again. i was too old, and eventually, too fat to ever be anything in the skating world. i relapsed, and the past year and a half has been a constant cycle of starving, then binging and purging. eventually, it became full on bulimia. i had a month or so back in december where i ate normally and felt normally about it, but then it came back, starving instead of purging this time. needless to say, i am experienced with eating disorders and recovery from them.

this fanfiction portrays ana as a fear of food. that is absolute bullshit. talk to any anorexic, and you'll see that people w eds fucking LOVE food. its what drives us, its all we think about. its not the food itself we're "scared" of, its the weight and what that implies about us. for me, having done ballet and skating for my entire childhood, i felt pressure to be thin so i could deserve to be a skater and a danseur. if i wasnt thin, i felt like someone pretending to be those things. that, and i have to push myself to exhaustion to feel like i deserve to eat. it is NOT a fear of food. repeatedly throughout this fic, yuuri is shown being legitimately afraid of food, even crying while eating. that is the most cliche, unrealistic portrayal of eds, and it makes the fic much worse bc of it. its a little infuriating actually, bc it shows that whoever wrote this doesnt understand the experience of actual anorexics. and before you shit talk me, saying everyone has different experiences, i have several friends, both irl and online, who also have eds. none of us have ever acted like that. ever. go on any ed forum, and no one will say thats what having ana is like. its the way the media portrays eds, not the actual reality of having an ed.

then comes the recovery arc, though arc is a kind word for it. basically, phichit and yuuri have a talk, he eats three meals that same day, and the only struggles hes shown having is gaining three pounds. now, when you have an ed, three pounds feels like thirty. i can understand that part. however, yuuri just decides to recover, and never goes back on that decision, never is shown having anxiety abt recovering. he just... starts eating. that is absolutely NOT how recovery is. then, in a later scene, he and viktor are abt to have sex. despite his prior insecurity about gaining three lbs, he shows no hesitation in showing his body to viktor. then, the morning after, he (unprompted) starts talking abt wanting pancakes. do i even have to say that this is unrealistic??? does this author not realize that the first person someone w an ed worries abt after gaining weight is their partner??? especially asking for and talking abt such calorie dense food, anyone w an ed would be worried that their partner would see them as fat, or worse, assume they were faking their ed. so yuuri, who just entered recovery, just being fine w viktor seeing him with new weight, fine w him seeing him eat food that makes you fat is just so so so wrong. it feels like this author watched to the bone once and decided they knew everything abt eds.

so, in conclusion, if ur going to write a fic w eds as a prominent plot point/character feature, make it realistic. or, better yet, DONT FUCKING DO IT IF YOU DONT HAVE AN ED. DONT WRITE ABT AN ED YOU DONT HAVE. bc u will never understand the experience of living with it and through it. if you want to read my own fanfiction abt eds, my ao3 is linked in my bio and the work is for bungou stray dogs, its called None of Your Concern.

last but not least, if u feel the need to argue w me or be mean, the block button is a couple of clicks away. if you dont use it, i will <3

[princemick-archive]

not me slowly relapsing again, fucking suck my dick brain don't do this

[bakidose]

— TOKYO REV ## RANDOM HCS

alternate title: tr men and random headcanons i have abt some of them

characters included: ran haitani / sanzu haruchiyo / hanma shuji / manjiro sano / baji keisuke / takemichi hanagaki

warnings: a bit suggestive / mostly sfw tho / crack cocaine for sanzu / humour / gn! reader / ooc maybe?? idk thats up to u to decide lol

a/n: these were the only characters i could think of hcs for off the top of my head shhh. n e ways weewoo my first official contribution to the tr fandom, enjoy :p

% SHUJI HANMA %

he's the type to fake bang you.

doesn't matter where you are, who you're with or what you're doing– the moment he sees you bent down, hes getting all up behind you and thrusting full force 💀

you've had to start kneeling and squatting down to reach for things instead after one incident. living in fear everyday that hanma may one day pull a bluff on your poor, vulnerable ass right in front of your friends and family 😟

"shuji PLEASE im trying to take this dish out of the oven"

"hm? sorry~. i cant help myself when you're all bent down like that just for me ♡ "

you burned your fingers and almost dropped your lasagna all over the floor

all he did in apology was pat your ass and said "it looks good babe 😘"

you still dont know whether he was talking about your ass– or the lasagna

probably both.

% RAN HAITANI %

he makes deez nuts jokes along with his brother rindou LMAO

thinks they're sooo fuckin funny. oh? your legs are broken? lol deez nuts are next 🤣

and whats worse is that rin backs him up too with a shit eating grin, both giggling like lil kids who just made a joke about poo

has never actually fallen for it whenever someone tries though

and even if it were to happen, you wouldnt know.

given the way he just stands there like 🕺 right after he finishes you off with his baton for humiliating him like that in broad daylight

rin: "🙄 cant believe you fell"

ran: "i didnt fa-"

rin: "for deez nuts."

ran: 😃

not only did he fall for deez nuts twice on that day, but he smacked a hoe with his baton twice too

hurt his ego knowing rindou pulled it on him without missing a beat

if you ever asked, it never happened <3

% SANZU %

ACTUALLY served crack before he served his country.

has definitely snorted cocaine off your ass crack to make things more exciting

though one time, you caught him snorting sugar off the kitchen counter. having temporarily taken away his coke stash after he kept waking up next to you high as hell

a credit card, 10,000¥ bill and nose all lined up to take another hit

"what are you doing?? you know you cant-"

"its not."

"huh? the hell you mean its 'not' 🤨"

"its sugar, princess. here~ try it"

"no thanks-"

told you to shut up as he scooped some up with his finger n stuck them in your mouth anyway

it was sugar.

he was snorting glucose up his nostrils.

"WHAT THE FUCK 😃."

you still think he mightve done it just to spite you since youre so worried about his health

you gave him back his shit after that

so it was either him high off the rocks or...yeah <3 he was definitely in a silly goofy mood that day

manz is actually deranged 🚹 middle child behavior if ive ever seen it

% BAJI KEISUKE %

never make a 'your mom' joke at this guy.

ever.

the first n last time some sleezy highschool kid tried to do it to a pre-k baji, they limped outta there the next day looking like they got mauled by several street cats

just never- dont. dont even utter a word about his mom unless youve been feeling alive'nt recently

you can talk smack about baji but never about his momma :<

ranted to peke j about it that night as he was falling asleep

"and i pummeled that asshole! right in his ugly ass mug 😤"

peke j: mrow

"no one!... can talk shit about my mom like that...*snores*"

peke j: mrow

% MIKEY %

still orders the McDonald's happy meal even as an adult

does NOT eat the apple slices :<

he's also another person who enjoys pulling deez nuts jokes on unsuspecting victims...or at least used to ://

*is busy munching on dorayaki*

"hey you know suna?"

"whos that? 😐"

"suna or later deez nuts gonna be in ya' mouth"

k.o'ed on sight. absolutely hates deez nuts jokes now after he fell for one.

draken laughs everytime he recalls it, and mikey refuses to answer any random questions since then

% TAKEMICHI HANAGAKI %

asked chifuyu one time after he did the devils tango with hina on their wedding night

if it was gay to think of another man during it.

"hey so i was wondering... is it gay to think of mikey while i was having sex with hina?"

?????

"huhhh 😕 takemitchy, man i– i mean..bros before hoes right? 😄"

"yeah!! youre right!"

both sat there in silence after

then hakkai walked in, holding his phone that still had mitsuya's now updated side profile picture as his lockscreen

takemichi cried that night 👍🏼

taglist: @katsukichu

© bakidose 2021 — all rights reserved. do not modify, claim, distribute, or steal my work.

[carry-on-my-wayward-butt]

So far what has been the worst thing about being pregnant?

oh so much, so equally.

sciatica, making it so i physically cannot walk without excruciating pain, but only at night when i need to get out of bed to piss. (thankfully i am not a type who needs to piss all the time. yet.)

acid reflux, a constant cold burn in my throat unfazed by tums but is ignorable if im constantly drinking something. so my stomach is always full of liquid, which makes the acid worse, so i have to keep drinking so i dont feel it.

i am So Fucking Hungry. “have less food more often! smaller, more frequent meals!” they say. “because your stomach will get smaller as baby grows!” i dont fucking think so babe. yes i can handle it. yes i know baby is growing rapidly and needs the nutrients and thats why my stomach is constantly growling. baby wants the entire meal, and baby wants another in two hours. pay up or perish. (by perish i mean my stomach will growl so loud you go deaf)

speaking of deaf, the sinus pressure has closed up one of my ears. it’ll go away after birth but the other ear has pulsatile tinnitus that i need surgery for because the sinus pressure and increased blood supply pushed my eardrum back, and i need a replacement prosthetic of some bone in my ear that isnt doing its job.

speaking of sinuses, there’s so much fucking blood in my body that sinus pressure causes nosebleeds, a common pregnancy issue. however, because of allergies i already had prior, my sinuses keep all the blood clotting up inside my sinuses. and because of acid reflux, i’m constantly spitting, so it never has time to settle and properly bleed. instead i cough, snort, and spit up 5-8 BLOOD CLOTS. FROM MY SINUSES. per day. some darker and heavier, most smaller and less dense. i am constantly creating suction pressure in my throat to dislodge blood clots from my nasopharynx. i am always snorting.

my tits are disgusting. i have lymphedema in the breasts, rather uncommon, and it has been completely mimicing the symptoms of breast cancer without having any lumps or actual tumors to show for it. anywhere. they’re simply an angry warm red, feel like an orange peel, hard as dried playdough, and the consistency of a memory foam mattress.

“yr areolas will darken uwu!”

and thats just what i hate the MOST.

things that just annoy me include:

always feeling both exhausted and like i NEED to clean everything. everything. all the time. im noticing dirt and mess that i’ve never seen before in my life. im rewashing perfectly clean items because im not the one who washed them initially.

nesting feels itchy. im exhausted midway through organizing the entire bathroom but i Have To keep going. its compulsive. it feels like an actual rat in my brain trying to claw its way out. and i struggle so badly to ignore it because half the shit i want to do cant be done until mid april. and it’s been scratching at me since like january. it kind of hurts.

also i love kicks but the rolls and swishes feel fucking gross, it feels like there’s a goldfish in my stomach just flopping around nastily. it tickles in a gross way.

i have to sleep on a wedge pillow in addition to my C pillow. both help immensely, but im so blocked off from davyn and it makes me sad. i have to tear my little nest apart if i want to cuddle, and then i can’t for very long because he lays down flat, and the aggravates my acid really badly.

horribly vivid dreams. ive never felt more disturbed by my dreams than i have the past few weeks. it feels so real, nothing like a normal weird dream. the concepts are strange but the environment is so convincing. and it’s usually nightmares.

im really forgetful now and its kind of scary. like genuinely scary because it feels like im losing my mind and its bringing up a lot of... gaslighty trauma from when i was a teenager. sometimes my memory is as perfect as usual, sometimes i forget what just came out of my mouth two seconds ago. davyn is really patient when i get scared.

and i have it relatively easy.

i dont have gestational diabetes, which would necessitate an entirely new diet that i KNOW i wouldnt be able to sustain.

i don’t have blood clots, so i dont have to take those awful shots that bruise the injection site so terribly(i took them after my knee surgery, i switched to warfarin because i couldnt stand the shots anymore after only a week).

i dont have cervical insufficiency, which runs in my family and would necessitate a much higher level of care.

i dont have an Rh incompatibility with my baby, which would necessitate a higher level of care but also one of the most painful shots you can get in pregnancy. in the ass cheek.

i didnt have morning sickness AT ALL, just occasional nausea and not even consistently. some people puke multiple times a day and struggle eating anything. for the entire duration.

i don’t have tons of emotional outbursts, i had one breakdown about davyn eating my banana, one about davyn saying “the pillow is my girlfriend now” because i fixated on the word girlfriend, one because i left soda in the freezer and it exploded, and i cry easily over touching youtube videos a little more easily. thats it. 3 breakdowns and a tender heart. over the past 7 months.

i have it quite easy, and most of all im doing this on purpose.

i’ll say it again every time: reproductive choice is a hill i will happily die on. absolutely fucking nobody deserves any of this, least of all people who don’t know its coming and didnt want it anyway.

i wanted this, and im doing it eagerly. i just also hate it and it sucks and im glad it’ll be over soon and i can have my screamy poopy wrinkly baby on the outside where i can actually LOOK at them and HOLD them and know the tangible fruits of my labor. feels like im wading through a sewer to reach some unknown treasure that im praying will still be there when i get to the end.

make sure your birth control timer is set properly. wrap yr meat. stay aware. etc.

[aestheticallyunaesthetic17]

100 questions and answers

Who is your hero? Probably future me, i want to be able to grow up and be the better person that i hope they are, and the only way of knowing that is by making it happen.

If you could live anywhere, where would it be? New Zealand, Canada or USA. I lived in TX for 3 months and loved it there and I have family in NZ and Canada.

What is your biggest fear? Wasps, 100%. Not being stung but the way they look scares me.

What is your favorite family vacation? When we went to Krakow in Poland.

What would you change about yourself if you could? My skin color. I hate it so much.

What really makes you angry? People hating others or stopping others from being themselves.

What motivates you to work hard? To make future me happier than I am now.

What is your favorite thing about your career? I want to be in cabin crew, so probably the traveling.

What is your biggest complaint about your job? Being away from family.

What is your proudest accomplishment? Getting through the shit 2020 brought me without killing myself.

What is your child's proudest accomplishment? No kids rn.

What is your favorite book to read? Noughts and Crosses by Malorie Blackman

What makes you laugh the most? My boyfriend.

What was the last movie you went to? What did you think? Freaks. I was a bad movie, a little like the scary movies franchise. My friend was scared at parts which was super funny to watch

What did you want to be when you were small? An actor. Typical Leo ;)

What does your child want to be when he/she grows up? They can be anything they want to be.

If you could choose to do anything for a day, what would it be? Visit Edinburgh alone.

What is your favorite game or sport to watch and play? To watch, American Football. To play, archery.

Would you rather ride a bike, ride a horse, or drive a car? Drive a car, it's peaceful and warm. I would blast music.

What would you sing at Karaoke night? no idea.

What two radio stations do you listen to in the car the most? Heart and Capital

Which would you rather do: wash dishes, mow the lawn, clean the bathroom, or vacuum the house? Dishes or vacuum.

If you could hire someone to help you, would it be with cleaning, cooking, or yard work? Yard work!!!

If you could only eat one meal for the rest of your life, what would it be? Tandoori Prawn curry.

Who is your favorite author? Jacqueline Wilson or JK Rowling (only her books, not her)

Have you ever had a nickname? What is it? Just Em. But id like to be called Millie.

Do you like or dislike surprises? Why or why not? Depends on the surprise tbh, I like to plan a lot.

In the evening, would you rather play a game, visit a relative, watch a movie, or read? Watch a movie.

Would you rather vacation in Hawaii or Alaska, and why? Hawaii. I was meant to go this year but covid and leaving the US fucked it up.

Would you rather win the lottery or work at the perfect job? And why? Work the perfect job, id get bored sitting around all day.

Who would you want to be stranded with on a deserted island? my boyfriend.

If money was no object, what would you do all day? Travel and see the world.

If you could go back in time, what year would you travel to? 2012. To see my Nana again.

How would your friends describe you? Stupid.

What are your hobbies? Traveling, photography, music and shopping.

What is the best gift you have been given? Forgiveness from myself.

What is the worst gift you have received? Sixe XXL jacket when im an XS

Aside from necessities, what one thing could you not go a day without? My macbook.

List two pet peeves. - Breaking trust - Bad table manners

Where do you see yourself in five years? Hopefully working my dream job, maybe moved to a different country and traveling the world.

How many pairs of shoes do you own? too many, roughly 16

If you were a super-hero, what powers would you have? Invisibility or teleportation.

What would you do if you won the lottery? build my own house

What form of public transportation do you prefer? (air, boat, train, bus, car, etc.) Train, its so relaxing. Then planes.

What's your favorite zoo animal? Lions or tigers.

If you could go back in time to change one thing, what would it be? My time in America.

If you could share a meal with any 4 individuals, living or dead, who would they be? - My nana - my bf - Princess Diana - Obama

How many pillows do you sleep with? 4, two on each side.

What's the longest you've gone without sleep (and why)? 26 hours, traveling to Texarkana from Edinburgh.

What's the tallest building you've been to the top in? Idk tbh

Would you rather trade intelligence for looks or looks for intelligence? looks for intelligence because then you can earn enough for plastic surgery.

How often do you buy clothes? 1/2 a month

Have you ever had a secret admirer? Idk I guess so.

What's your favorite holiday? Summer vacation Christmas for an actual holiday

What's the most daring thing you've ever done? Moved half way across the world and lived with strangers.

What was the last thing you recorded on TV? Nothing

What was the last book you read? 1984

What's your favorite type of foreign food? Indian

Are you a clean or messy person? Both, but relatively clean

Who would you want to play you in a movie of your life? Millie Bobbie Brown probably

How long does it take you to get ready in the morning? 1 hour

What kitchen appliance do you use every day? Kettle

What's your favorite fast food chain? Chick fil A (i know, i cant buy it now tho)

What's your favorite family recipe? Nana's bacon and egg pie

Do you love or hate rollercoasters? LOVE

What's your favorite family tradition? Opening gifts on Christmas Eve

What is your favorite childhood memory? I dunno really, Ive forgotten a lot of my childhood.

What's your favorite movie? Ferris Bueller's Day Off or Beautiful Boy

How old were you when you learned Santa wasn't real? How did you find out? Probably 7/8 but I dont remember.

Is your glass half full or half empty? Half empty.

What's the craziest thing you’ve done in the name of love? Said i'd come back one day.

What three items would you take with you on a deserted island? A boat and food. Yes i am that person.

What was your favorite subject in school? Scottish school, geography. US school, government.

What's the most unusual thing you've ever eaten? Haggis

Do you collect anything? Foreign coins

Is there anything you wished would come back into fashion? Skinny jeans, my ass looks gooood in them

Are you an introvert or an extrovert? introvert that likes being sociable

Which of the five senses would you say is your strongest? hearing

Have you ever had a surprise party? (that was an actual surprise) nope

Are you related or distantly related to anyone famous? my dad is well know in the whisky business. Has his own prime tv show

What do you do to keep fit? Walk a lot and swim.

Does your family have a “motto” – spoken or unspoken? nope

If you were ruler of your own country what would be the first law you would introduce? everyone is equal.

Who was your favorite teacher in school and why? Scottish School, my geo teacher. US school, my english teacher.

What three things do you think of the most each day? My bf, my mum and America

If you had a warning label, what would yours say? Sad, angry and anxious

What song would you say best sums you up? 17 again

What celebrity would you like to meet at Starbucks for a cup of coffee? Timothee Chalamet or Tom Holland

Who was your first crush? a boy called Finlay who i rode the bus with

What's the most interesting thing you can see out of your office or kitchen window? sheep or cows very often

On a scale of 1-10 how funny would you say you are? 5

Where do you see yourself in 10 years? kids, married, settled down and happy. moved countries 100%

What was your first job? never had one

If you could join any past or current music group which would you want to join? 5sos

How many languages do you speak? 1 - english

What is your favorite family holiday tradition? opening gifts on Christmas Eve

Who is the most intelligent person you know? my mum

If you had to describe yourself as an animal, which one would it be? a cat probably or a tiger

What is one thing you will never do again? trust people fully

Who knows you the best? my bf.

[muwur]

idk if this counts as an emergency or comfort request but ive been havin a REAL bad body image week nsnnnsnnnsnn could i maybe request headcanons for either oikawa or kuroo (u can pick if u wanna) with an s/o who is rlly self conscious about being chubby/has a really hard time with food and mayb feels like worthless because theyre not the ideal body type? idk sorry if thats dumb aaaah thank u sm if u choose to do this

self-love

♡ scenarios ♡ for oikawa and kuroo

❧ gn reader

✎ 3.7k words

a/n: hey hun, im sorry to hear you’ve been having a rough time lately. this kind of request actually rlly hits close to home, and if u ever need anything, ur mor than welcome to reach out to me :) i can also help look for resources for help, anything really. this goes for all y’all! i dont want none y’all to feel alone with anything ur going thru cuz we’re in this together! and no need to thank me, the pleasure is mine luv 🥰💕 nothing about this is dumb, ur feelings are valid. i hope this will bring you n many others some comfort. also,, FUCK BODY STANDARDS MAKIN US BELIEVE THERE’S AN IDEAL TYPE BC THERE IS NONE N Y’ALL R BEAUTIFUL N IF U DUN THINK SO I WILL COME OVER DER,,, ok im done 🥰🥰 (more notes at the bottom of this, i talk a lot n think its important, didnt wanna add it up here bc it was too long lolol) tw: mentions of bad body and implies disordered eating behaviors

 oikawa

♡ Oikawa was pretty keen, so when he observed a gradual shift in your behavior, he definitely took notice

♡ One day when you showed up to lunchtime empty-handed and sat with your two friends, casually chatting, Oikawa and Iwaizumi gave you a questioning look

♡ “Where’s your lunch, y/n?” Oikawa asked

♡ “Oh, I, uh, ate it already, actually.”

♡ Iwaizumi raised an eyebrow and offered you some of his, but you declined, thanking him and stating you were already full

♡ Later that day in class, however, Oikawa couldn’t help but notice the absence of your boxed lunch container in your unzipped backpack

♡ The next day, you came empty-handed again, blaming it on your forgetfulness during your rush to get to school

♡ However, it became a normal occurrence over time, and while you seemed fine, uneasiness began to prick inside Oikawa’s stomach

♡ Those smiles you wore appeared fragile, and the laughter that rumbled from your throat felt restrained

♡ You seemed more tired and unfocused than usual

♡ Preoccupied, withdrawn, and distant

♡ He could sense something was bothering you, no matter how much you may (or may not) have tried to hide it

♡ On his way to school one morning, he made sure to stop by a convenience store to pick one of your favorite snacks, thinking it was a simple gesture to brighten up the somber aura he’s been detecting from you

♡ “I have a surprise for you, y/n~” Oikawa announced with excitement, rummaging through his bag to pull out the snack and show it to you. “Look, it’s your favorite!”

♡ You could only offer him an uneasy smile, “Oh, you shouldn’t have...” You really shouldn’t have...

♡ When he noticed the tension in your body and expression, a frown appeared on his lips

♡ “Y/n? Is something wrong?” He reached out to place a comforting hand on your shoulder but you swiftly flinched away

♡ ”I’m fine..!”

♡ Surprised at your sudden movement and outburst, you both felt a split second of apprehension crackle in the air before you started to gather your items in a rush

♡ Sighing, you repeated, “I’m fine.”

♡ He wasn’t sure whether you were speaking to him or yourself

♡ “Thanks for the snack, but I’ll pass. Have it for me. You need it more, anyways; you have volleyball practice. I’ll see you tomorrow, Oikawa,” you offered him a solemn smile and left before he could even reply

♡ Some time had passed before he could finally get you to open up to him

♡ And when you did, it crushed his heart to see how much your insecurities broke you

♡ It hurt to hear how low you thought about yourself; how you couldn’t see the beauty in your being; how you deemed food, your body, and yourself as your worst enemies

♡ Thus bringing you to the conclusion that maybe you’d be happy and like yourself if you could just give up that midday snack or your school lunch

♡ Even raincheck a cafe date you were supposed to have together

♡ Maybe also skip dinner, sometimes breakfast the next morning as well

♡ You could manage on just water

♡ Little sacrifices to shed some weight, feel better, and get closer to your ideal body goals

♡ You admitted, however, to questioning whether any of it was worth it

♡ The constant states of hunger, pain, and defeat you lived in

♡ Only to feel as though you were getting nowhere

♡ Oikawa was well aware of today’s beauty standards. I mean, he himself was often praised for his natural charm and beauty

♡ And you felt you could never reach that ideal

♡ “Oikawa, you’re too good for me.”

♡ His eyebrows knitted in concern as he lifted his right hand to caress your cheek softly. “And why do you say that?”

♡ Tears threatened to prick at your eyes. All you could was stare at the ground in silent shame

♡ When you still said nothing, he leaned in closer, his brown gaze softly pleading

♡ “Y/n, look at me.”

♡ When your eyes flickered up to meet his own, Oikawa asked, “You know I love you, right?”

♡ His question was met with a meek, “Yes.”

♡ From your clouded glaze, he could tell that you had a hard time believing in your own response

♡  “Do you know why?”

♡ But before you could respond, he was already answering his own question

♡ “Well...” he began, glancing up in thought and wearing a small smile

♡ “Something about you makes me want to be by your side. I love to see your smiles and hear your laughter, but I always want to be there to hold you when you’re crying and in pain.”

♡ “You’re supportive. You understand what I need, and I don’t always have to explain myself to you. You take your time with me and make me feel like I can be myself. Not many people have stuck around to actually get to know me. Because of that, you’ve never failed to make my day a little better with just your presence.”

♡ “You’re strong and caring. I can rely on you to have my back, and I hope I provide that same comfort to you as well.”

♡ “I love being able to lazy around with you or go on adventures and discover something new. It’s comfortable and exciting at the same time.”

♡ “Your hands feel like they were made to hold mine.”

♡ He reached down to squeeze your hand gently

♡ “Kissing you makes me forget about everything else on my mind. I can just live in the present with you.”

♡ He moved close and gave you a peck above your eyebrow

♡ “You make me want to work hard and be a better person. You help motivate me to try my best, and you never give up on me. Why would I ever give up on you?”

♡  “I learn something new with you everyday. Like right now, I realize that I’ve never met someone who could so easily make my heart race as they could make my heart break.”

♡ “When I look at you, all I can think about is how beautiful you are and how lucky I am to have you in my life as a partner and one of my best friends. Nobody else could fill the gaps within me the same way you do.”

♡ Leaning over to brush his lips against your forehead, he muttered, “I’m going to love every part of you, inside and out. You’re already my ideal. I couldn’t ask for anything more. I could go on about every detail on why I feel so strongly for you, but I’m here to show you everything there is to appreciate about yourself because you’re worth every ounce of care and effort. And if you can’t see it in yourself right now, I’ll love you more than enough for the both of us until you learn to love yourself. I’m here to help.”

♡ And after crying out your tears into his shoulder as he held you close and rubbed your back, you both went to his house to relax and have some dinner

♡ He was patient with you, taking into account how having a meal may have made you feel anxious

♡ It was something small and simple that you two agreed to prepare and share, after some tender coaxing from Oikawa

♡ He later made a list in his journal about tips to keep in mind:

♡ ‘Check up on y/n often to see how they’re feeling’

♡ ‘Encourage them to eat meals/snacks. Don’t be too pushy, but be patient. Try to have eat with them when you can!’

♡ ‘Remind them they don’t have to earn the right to eat, and that their body doesn’t define their worth‘

♡ ‘Look into some mindfulness techniques!’

♡ ‘Don’t overvalue physical appearance. Also focus on all the other redeeming qualities y/n has! But of course I’m always gonna tell them they look cutee--’

♡ True to his word, he remained understanding

♡ He’s there to listen to you, or to sit with you in comforting silence

♡ During lunch he would share his food with you, reassuring you that it wasn’t something you had to avoid

♡ Some days he succeeds in encouraging you to share a milk bun or your favorite snack with him

♡ And on days you really didn’t feel like it, he never forces anything onto you and instead made sure you at least hydrated

♡ Oikawa spends some time doing research and gathering tips on how to help you

♡ Always reminds you of your worth and how you bring out the best in him

♡ He’ll never hold it against you if you ever become hostile, irritated, or in denial. He knows you’re hurting and doesn’t take it personally

♡ Sends you cute memes with all those emoji hearts

♡ Also some food puns (Oikawa: “I’m soy into you. Please brie mine. We are mint to be. I ap-peach-iate you. You got a pizza my heart. Olive you--” ; You: *puts a hand over his mouth* ; Oikawa: 🥺 ; You: “...olive you, too”)

♡ Always ready to give up what he’s doing to make sure you’re okay

♡ Will stay up with you late at night to talk on the phone

♡ Reminds you you’re beautiful at least 8 times a day

♡ If y’all ever go shopping and you try things on in the fitting room,, Oikawa would be your #1 hype man

♡ One time you tried something on, and you were almost too ashamed to step out and show him

♡ But when you did, you were met with his surprise and excitement

♡ “dfghjklkuyfuh” was all you could process from his incoherent speech before he insisted on treating you by purchasing it for you (Oikawa: “Can you wear this for me, like, everyday?” ; You: *weird look* “Why are you like this??” you love it tho--)

♡ Gushes internally over how cute you are during your movie + cuddle sessions, mostly pays attention to you rather than the movie

♡ Mid-movie be like:

♡ Oikawa: “So, uh, what’s happening again?

♡ You: -.- “You might as well google the whole synopsis instead of watching it”

♡ Oikawa: “...it’s not my fault you’re distracting, babe”

♡ Always politely excuses himself from his fangirls to get to you. Also reassures you he much prefers to be with you than anyone else and that you’re the best catch ;)) (You: “Oikawa, no” ; Oikawa: “y/n, yes”)

♡ Suggested doing some meditation together once

♡ You listened to a recording and you sat side by side on a mat, but Oikawa thought the person’s voice sounded funny so he had a hard time focusing

♡ But it ended with y’all laughing and making jokes as he lay his lead on your lap and you played with his hair

♡ Y’all get better at it tho

♡ Cooking dates! To try to show you that food isn’t an enemy and can bring people together :)

♡ Puts music on so y’all can jam together (Oikawa: “Oh my gosh, y/n, this is my favorite song, you’re not even rEADY to see me perform-- ; You: “Oikawa, t-the food! It’s burning!!”)

♡ Cooking dates also show that you should never leave the stove unattended

♡ Every once in a while he suggests seeking professional help. He wishes he could take away your pain and help you all his own, but he knows this is more complicated and required outside help, too

♡ Has help resources READY

♡ As well as small snacks like granola bars for you if you ever feel faint

♡ He doesn’t hesitate to confront you when he feels it’s necessary and he’s worried about your habits

♡ He handles things well, though, and often convinces you to take care of yourself more, even though he’s there to look after you

♡ Has made it his mission to help you win against your battle with insecurities

♡ Overall, he’s very caring and empathetic, hoping one day you’ll see yourself the way he sees you 💖 : strong, amazing, breathtaking, & perfectly imperfect

kuroo

♡ Occasionally, you would think about the day you broke down in front of him

♡ Your body racked with repressed whimpers as you tried to wipe the tears from your eyes and describe the recent state of your mind through choked sobs

♡ Lately, your thoughts were being especially relentless in making you feel miserable

♡ Oftentimes you’d be able to shove the negative thoughts to the back of your mind and carry on your day as usual, expertly acting as though everything in your life was going smoothly

♡ However, you found yourself fighting a losing battle against your own conscious, heavily preoccupied with thoughts of your own worthlessness

♡ And so you tried to cope

♡ But you were painfully aware of everything you felt was wrong with you

♡ You felt uncomfortable in your skin

♡ Every time you passed by your own reflection, you couldn’t help but mentally recoil at the image looking back at you

♡ Your clothes didn’t fit right

♡ Even when you opted for baggy clothes, you felt like you were taking up all the space in them

♡ Maybe it was the weight gain. You could see and feel it in your face, your arms, your stomach, your legs... everywhere

♡ You just wanted to hide away your shame

♡ Perhaps it was the dessert you allowed yourself to eat the other day. Foolish of you to think then that you wouldn’t regret it as much as you did afterwards

♡ As a consequence of those foolish actions, you made mental notes about anything and everything you ate. What it was, how much of it you had, etc

♡ Trying to restrict so that maybe you would lose some weight and come to like how you look

♡ Your obsessive thoughts of food and weight overtook your mind like a dark cloud

♡ Your favorite foods, which before would never fail to brighten your mood, taunted you with shame and guilt

♡ Exercise? Sometimes it was an activity you genuinely enjoyed. Other times, a chore that made you feel shitty or numb and reinforced your unhealthy desire to lose

♡ And you sometimes found yourself crying over your last meal, one you know you didn’t need. One you didn’t deserve

♡ And each time you released the reins on your self-control, you felt pathetic going against the vow you made to yourself  

♡ At this rate, you’d never be beautiful or be happy with yourself

-You’d remain unworthy, fat, disgusting--

-But before you could continue, your story was cut off by the impact of Kuroo’s embrace

-Your surprise silenced your sobs, and you could only stare wide-eyed at the space in front of you as you felt his arms squeeze tightly around your frame

-You both sat there for a few moments on your knees, with your back lightly leaning against a wall

- “I’m sorry for the pain you’re experiencing,” he begins softly. “Thank you for sharing with me. It must’ve taken a lot for you to do that.”

-He was right. It was your first time reaching out to another person about this. It was the last thing you thought you would’ve done today

- “I want to let you know that you shouldn’t be ashamed for feeling this way. Reaching out is important and brings you the help you need to get better. I know you might not want help right now or think that these thoughts and behaviors are a problem. However, telling me about all this shows that some part of you is recognizing there’s something wrong and you can’t always handle it on your own.”

-There were many reasons you kept this to yourself. You didn’t want to bother anyone else. Your problems seemed so trivial.  You worried saying them aloud would confirm your beliefs. You were scared people would see you differently. You--

-The intrusive thoughts never failed to make you feel ashamed

-However, it was oddly comforting to release the pent up emotions. To know you didn’t have to bottle up this burden anymore, and that you weren’t alone

-You were about to murmur in response when,

- “Also, you’re an idiot, y/n.”

- “Wow, thanks, as if I don’t already think that about myself,” you bit back in response

-You were about to shove him away just when he released his grip around your body and placed his hands on your shoulders

-His eyes shone with determination and a faint, inviting smile spread on his lips

- “You are the one of the single most important things in my life. I just mean you’re an idiot in the sense that you’re overevaluating one aspect to define your whole self. You’ve forgotten about all your other redeeming qualities that contribute to who you are.”

♡ “Your size, weight, shape; none of that matters. What matters is your health and happiness. Neglecting yourself in order to reach an ‘ideal’ that you’ve concluded is the answer to your self-worth is only bringing you farther away from what you truly want.”

♡ “I don’t mean to downplay any of your emotions or how significant this is to you. Your first step was to put your trust into someone else about this. That’s done. Now, I’m here to help you undergo self-evaluation and serve as encouragement on your journey to self-love and acceptance.”

♡ “I also want to remind you progress is not linear. There will be times when things are harder, and that’s okay; it’s part of the process. If you’re open to getting better in the future, I’m sure as hell going to be there every step of the way.”

♡ And with a soft peck to the forehead and another hug, he nuzzled into your neck and muttered, “I love you. And I want you to love yourself. So, please, allow me to help you through this and I guarantee that by the end of it all, it’ll have been so worth it.”

♡ Unsure what to say, you gripped his jacket tighter, buried your head in his shoulder, and muttered, “Thank you.”

♡ While the negative feelings about yourself remained afterward, you were relieved that your boyfriend was supportive and calm

♡ He treated you the same as always, teasing you over dumb things while making you feel like you stood among the highest peaks on Earth

♡ The day after, he had shown up to your house, weary-eyed and carrying his backpack

♡ “Kuroo? Why are you here? Also, why do you look so tired??”

♡ He stepped into your house with a yawn. He stretched his arms, then reached for his bag and whipped out his laptop

♡ “I stayed up a bit last night to do some research, babe! I also learned a lot about nutrition and molecular gastronomy, so I could help you come up with a meal plan that you’re okay with!”

♡ You were touched he was educating himself on how to help you

♡ But you drew the line at the science jokes-- (Kuroo: “You know you love them.” ; You: “��Na’ I don’t.” ; Kuroo: :ooo “Did you just-- Marry me.”) (Na = sodium lol)

♡ His nutritional research helped you to learn the contents of food beyond calories; mans explains the vitamins, nutrients, amino acids, etc in them that you need and their benefits

♡ “Trout, avocados, and almonds have vitamin E, which is good for your skin! Oh, and don’t get me started on bananas. Yes, they have carbs (which your body needs anyway as a source of energy!), but POTASSIUM?? Shit’s gonna regulate your fluid balance, maintain heart health, stimulate normal muscle function, AND help your brain to communicate with the rest of your body!”

♡ ALSO cooking dates; just as chaotic (“Aw mannn, the egg exploded all over the microwave!” dont ask y it was being microwaved)

♡ Over time, he’s taken mental notes about your thoughts, feelings, triggers, etc

♡ He’s quick to pick up on your mood and will always ask you how you’re doing

♡ Tries to do something special for you on days you’re especially not feeling well, like taking you on a spontaneous date! (You: “Do you know how to ice skate?” ; Kuroo: “Uhh,,, after today, I will hopefully”)

♡ But will also opt for staying in with you and cuddling when you don’t want to go out (Kuroo: “I heard this movie is soooo bad! ...wanna watch it?”)

♡ Invited you to the beach with his team during the first week of summer

♡ You were unsure about this, since that meant going out in public, potentially with minimal clothing

♡ You initially sat on a beach towel under an umbrella, wearing the security of a T-shirt. He’d been aware of how you felt ever since he asked you to come, so he would sit with you and link an arm around your shoulder

♡ “I’m lucky I get to spend this day with you,” he’d say. “You look gorgeous. You always do. Now, I wanna see you smile and have fun. Let’s go take a dip, yeah?” He offered his hand, which you shyly took, and pulled you up

♡ Then immediately picked you up and started running to the water to get you soaking wet, and you were forced to ditch the heavy, waterlogged shirt

♡ However, you silently thanked him for his sweet words, making you feel secure enough to just forget your worries and enjoy the warm sun and cool water

♡ He also tries his best to lessen your anxieties over food and often shares/eats meals with you

♡ Reminds you everyday how much you’re worth to him and that there’s nothing about you that needs to change

♡ This sweet, protective, n smart boi will treat you how you deserve. It’s a guarantee he’ll be there through thick and thin, and he’s excited for the day you realize you’re just as amazing as he knows you are 💕

a/n: oop this was rlly long lol mb, i just may or may not personally know a bit about this so i went oFF

also neded to some som silly n fluff bc we all need dat

also, these r like kinda hc’s ?? but also a deconstructed oneshot/scenario?? bc they provide some rly brief bg story? one from more  of the character perspective while the other more on y/n before we get  to the hc’s about how he treats y/n. how everyone struggles w body image is different n i wanted to portray a bit of what it felt like and how it could manifest in ppl’s behaviors/thoughts. however, this is not to say that everyone feels exactly like this. what i wrote only represents a fraction of it all.

by providing some sort of bg i hope im not making u feel like this isnt u  or that u cant relate, pls lmk if i need to change anything to make it  right for u <3 ok now im actually done sry long author’s note  rfguhofe this is just rlly important to me y’all  , stay safe n take care, much luv for u <3

[msmkcreates]

“so it’s a date?” “nope. not a date” for Slim/Reader? not from any specific fic, i dont think, though what ive read has been *chefs kiss*

I went with Mutt, since I'm not exactly sure what you meant by Slim? And also, this is absolutely not what you had in mind, most likely, so very sorry about that. On the bright side, it sets up for something else and I kinda like that.

Tags/Warnings: Eating Disorders, insults, not much fluff here, fat-phobia (?), reader has body issues and Mutt is an asshole, seriously an asshole

"Re-Hate-tionship" (SF!Papyrus/reader, platonic SF!Sans&Reader)

Was it bad, how much you hated Mutt? Was it wrong of you, as Black's best friend, to so completely despise his shit-talking older brother?

It can't be wrong, you reason, because he hates you just as much. He makes snide remarks at you, about your clothes, your hair, your anything really as long as it's something to pick at. He mocks you when you're trying to be serious, he pulls faces at the back of your head when he thinks you aren't looking, and you're pretty sure you could draw his middle finger from memory.

So, a mutual hate. A re-hate-tionship, if you will. You said that once, and he laughed, and then he looked so upset with himself for at least three days. Black has begged you both to get along, but honestly he's given up at this point--as long as nobody is throwing anything he lets you dance your dance of disapproval.

You'd asked him once, what you ever did to him, and he replied that you were a human of unknown intentions hanging around his brother...and you assumed that your retaliation had lit the flames to you being a bitch, which fed the hate. It isn't like you didn't try to be civil (okay it was rare but sometimes you tried) but it's hard to stay nice when three seconds after entering the house you're being insulted.

Today was no different, of course, you weren't sure what you'd expected when you'd come over for dinner. He hurled his usual insults at you, but this time he somehow hit a sensitive spot.

"why the fuck're we feeding you, too, again? honestly you could probably fit t'skip a meal, flesh-bag."

You stiffened immediately, and Black noticed. His face was full of fury, ready to tell Mutt off, but he didn't say anything when you sharply shook your head.

But it was too late, he'd noticed your lack of response. He didn't make another stab at your weight, at least not right away, but he smirked like he'd won something as you stabbed at your salad, perforating it over and over but ultimately pushing it away.

You weren't very hungry anymore.

It was halfway through the night, the movie still barely ramping up through the action, when he broke from his usual game of begrudging silence to take another crack at you.

"yer movie picker is shit," he said simply.

"It's a classic, everybody likes this movie," you huffed. "At least, anyone who isn't a complete degenerate. Guess I can't expect you to have any sort of taste, not like me and Black."

That earned a snicker from Black, almost a stamp of approval, and Mutt scowled. You only smiled back sweetly.

"i dunno if you can talk 'bout taste, do y'even taste the snacks you shove in yer face? or are y'just hooverin' them down?"

You pressed your lips into a thin line of displeasure, your free hand not holding the popcorn moving to Black's knee, squeezing as you felt him tense beside you. You don't respond, glaring at the TV in front of you, but you do put the popcorn aside, instead crossing your arms and wholly ignoring his presence.

It's fine. It wasn't as if you hadn't been horrible to him on other nights. You insulted him just as much for things he might be sensitive about--his scars, his golden tooth, other appearance based insults you'd be ashamed to repeat to your mother. Maybe if he didn't get a reaction, he'd poke at something else and leave your eating habits alone.

At the very least his little victory kept him in smug silence until the credits rolled.

"PERHAPS WE SHOULD SEND THE LEFTOVERS HOME WITH YOU, MY DEAR," Black said, bundling the last of it into a Tupperware. "DON'T THINK I DIDN'T NOTICE YOUR LACK OF APPETITE TONIGHT."

"M'fine," you said, waving away his thinly veiled concern. "You guys keep it."

"a shocking twist of generosity," Mutt added in a bored tone from the living room.

"I'm sorry, did I ask you? Or in some way imply that I was talking to you at all?" You huffed, glaring at him as Black rolled his eyelights, packing the Tupperware into your bag. "You know, you'd be a lot more fun to be around if you didn't spend every waking moment being an asshole."

"i don't spend every moment being an asshole," he chuckled, leaning over the half-wall that separated the kitchen and the living room. "it's somethin' i can turn off, so if that's my worst trait at least m'pretty."

"Gag me," you spat.

"now there's an image."

"Ew!" You scoffed, turning away from him to look at Black with exasperation.

"it's a date, then?" He laughed.

You looked back at him, horrified. "No, no, not a date, definitely not a fucking date. If you think you're coming anywhere close to my mouth with any filthy fucking part of your body--"

"what, i thought you liked a little sausage?" He practically purred. "y'certainly eat like ya'd suck a mean dick."

"MUTT! THAT IS ENOUGH!" Black said swiftly, but the damage was done.

It seemed he had found his new Favorite Thing to poke at about you. The unbothered look on his face as Black raised his voice at him was enough to make that blindingly clear, and you set your jaw, fists clenching as you glared at him.

"I eat like everybody else!" You said finally, hands shaking in your rage. "I'm not fat!"

"OF COURSE, HE DIDN'T MEAN IT THAT WAY--" Black tried, and you shook his hand off your arm.

"He did mean it that way!" You flipped Mutt off, with gusto. "Fuck you, and that isn't an invitation."

With that, you took off, storming out and onto the terrace. You would have left completely but your stuff wasn't all together yet and you didn't fancy coming back for it in twenty minutes. You slammed the sliding glass door as good as you could and dragged a deck chair to the edge of the balcony, plopping down and leaning on your crossed arms, staring down into the trees and foliage behind the building.

You could hear Black blowing up on Mutt inside, though the soundproofing was good enough that you couldn't hear exactly what he was saying, only the tone of it. He knows all about your history with your eating disorder, you'd broken down and cried to him after he'd asked you one too many times if you'd gotten enough to eat.

You understand that underground, resources were scarce, and that's why he always makes sure you've eaten enough. He's been good about his wording since then, carefully asking if you have everything you need, with heavy implications that he means food. It's worked thus far, and sending leftovers home was kind of his way of saying he loved you.

You assume, then, as you calmed down a bit, that Mutt really meant no offense when he said you eat well. It was probably a compliment, even, as veiled as it was. And it wasn't like you'd ever opened up to him about your strained relationship with food and your weight. He probably thought it was funny that a small compliment made you clam up in a way his insults never had.

The door slid open behind you and you sighed, closing your eyes. "It's fine, Black, I'll get over it."

"good, here i thought i'd hafta apologize."

You huffed and turned a glare on Mutt as he closed the door behind him. That was not your best friend as you had expected. "What, did he make you come out here to say sorry? Well, you can save it, I don't take insincere apologies."

"actually, he told me he's fed up with how i treat you and that he didn't want to see me within a mile of ya again." Mutt pulled up the second terrace chair and took a seat. "but i don't think i can do that."

"What, come to make fun of me, then?" You hissed, leaning back and glaring over at him. "Maybe call me names? Make pig noises?"

"i wouldn't do that," he said, seriously. "i pick my words pretty carefully, you know, if i'd'a known you had a thing about food i woulda picked 'em even more carefully."

"Since when do you give a shit about my feelings?"

"always," he said, and you snorted, disbelieving. "we may not get along, but yer important t'sans, that makes you important t'me. an' you ain't nothin' but beautiful, so i guess i didn't think that you'd take it as me callin' you fat."

"First you insult me, and now you lie to me." You stood up, and he looked right up at you as you loomed over him the best you could. "Anything else? Maybe poke fun at my dead mom, or fake-ask-me-out?"

"why would anyone fake asking someone out?" He asked, genuinely surprised. "i'm a mean bitch at heart, so is sans, but we'd never do that."

You huffed. "Well then congrats, you're better than the kids I went to school with. Barely."

He hummed thoughtful and you were about to turn and leave him behind--

"wanna fuck?"

Slowly, you turned around, looking at him in disbelief. "I'm sorry?"

"i said," he stood, crowding you against the balcony fencing, his hands on either side of you. "wanna fuck? you an' i might not get along, but you're fine as fuck, i'm not so bad, and i gotta bed we can work out our aggressions on. so, wanna fuck?"

You inhaled, hands on his chest and ready to push him away...but you're due for some stress relief and if anything you can trust him not to get attached, and despite being the opposite of friends you trust he'd never do anything to hurt you, if only for his brother's sake.

"You know what?" You breathed, straightening your posture. Your hands went from pushing to gripping his shirt. "Yeah. Let's fuck. You've had worse ideas."

[jenna-jayde-the-renagade]

So my life has gone to shit.. I dont trust anybody anymore, and honest to god I cant help but keep thinking of ways to end it. My mom keeps telling me how to feel about this whole thing, that I should be grateful that i got in finally to see a specialist. Reality is I dont even trust those subhuman animals anymore, and frankly they're gonna have to earn my trust. After 4 fucking years, my life, my future being ruined. My mental health going downhill, all for the second time now. Add on to that, I dont get any meds for the pain so this has pushed me into addiction now for a second time. I've been dehumanized and humiliated, treated with nothing but the utmost disrespect while being stigmatized for being mentally ill, transgender and a recovering addict for most of it. They ignored me for 4 years, my body is damaged, and frankly help just might have came too little too late. I wont just suffer through the next one, the next time this happens I'm gonna end my life, my suffering on my own god damn terms. Atleast I still have control over that..

Fuck the canadian healthcare system. Some days I honestly just want to start selling drugs, and fly to a country where I can just pay to play and get the best care in the god damn world. Cause 4 years now I've been telling them to refer me to a specialist, I've been telling them that it's probably crohns or some other GI issue. They need to do a colonoscopy and a scope to find it, so that's what I would ask for. I would never get it, so i more or less gave up on the healthcare system. They would leave me on the floor thrashing in pain for hours. Treating me like a drug addict in withdrawal when I didnt even have any opioids in my system. I would be lucky if I got an IV for fluids, and even more lucky if they pumped me full of a bunch of over the counter drugs and others that didnt work like gravol, tauridol, buscopan, zofran, and haliperidol. I would tell them each time, that this was the hundredth time they tried gravol, and it doesnt help people when they're screaming in pain. They treat the nausea. Its bullshit because I am in so much pain that its making me nauseous and until they get rid of the pain, the vomiting is just gonna continue. They always treat me like I'm full of shit, and when I turn out to be right and continue puking, thrashing and screaming in pain, they just get angry at the fact they were wrong. Our doctors and nurses are a bunch of sociopathic, apathetic adult children who in my experience take pleasure in watching you suffer. The worse I get the more they smile. They are so stupid, blind almost because if their stupid fucking machine says I'm ok then I guess it's all in my head. They only think that theres nothing wrong with me because theyve only ever done a blood test or an xray. Never ever once have they done a single test that would have found the issue, crohns cant be found just on a blood test. The emergency room doctors think it can be, my family doctor and everybody else I've talked to says otherwise.

On January 1st I was having another flare up, and they shoved me in the psych observation room because they genuinely didnt want to deal with me. They ignore me, and I keep going in because I want help. I dont want to end up relapsing again cause I cant take the god damn pain! But nope, I get treated like a crazy person now.. they did it against my will. And they even tried to take my phone and my keys. I was puking constantly, I needed water to keep hydrated and they left me for 4 hours, locked in, no meds, no help or nothing. So I just cracked.. I had nothing to barf in, to wipe my nose with, or to wipe the cold sweat off me. So I puked in every corner of that room, I puked beside the bed especially because a mop wouldnt fit in there. I pissed in the corner, I would hack up some phlegm and spit it all over the floors and walls, I blew snot rockets on every surface too! After a while some nurse came in and gave me a barf bag. I threw it on the floor and just continued to puke over every hard surface in the place. I was puking every 5 seconds I swear, and the doctor finally came in at 3 hours and 15 minutes. At 3.5 hrs they give me two pills. I straight up tell them there is no point in even taking them. I couldnt even keep water down and these people are stupid enough to make me take pills? Come on. You need to hold it in for atleast an hour to see even the most minimal affects. I was puking every 5 seconds, to the point that I puked before I took the pills, and I puked them out the moment after I swallowed. They had given me a fucking gravol tab, and some Ativan, the latter of which I couldnt even hold under my tongue long enough. I barfed it onto the floor when it was half dissolved. They come back with this clear liquid shit in a shot glass. I swallowed it right after I puked. The liquid burned my insides, and i puked that shit out even quicker. I asked them to give me IV medications for that exact reason, I always ask for IV medications cause its literally a waste of your time and mine to just pump me full of pills when I can't keep them down and they hurt my tummy as they dissolve. They tell me to just "breathe deeply and relax" and to "just try jayden, you gotta try", so then I try, and when they end up being wrong, and I can't take shit. They end up saying that I'm manipulating, that I'm drug seeking or I'm not trying hard enough to make it work. Absolute bullshit, over the course of 4 years I have quite literally told them what to do. I have multiple family members with this disease, and my grandmother was ignored like this too. She told me to ask them for a colonoscopy and a scope, and to ask them to treat the pain, not the nausea cause the pain literally causes the nausea. The sooner the pain is gone the sooner I can be normal and tell them what's going on. Instead I'm left to suffer in the worst pain a human being can feel. I get treated like shit and told it's all in my head. I gave up on getting a diagnosis in year two. I just want to shoot dope whenever the pain comes. Dope atleast takes it away, after all they would be giving me some of the strongest shit they have at the hospital if I was some boomer with a sprained ankle. It would take the pain away. Thats for sure. Being a mentally ill, drug using, autistic tranny they just see that. I get nothing. No help, no answers, not even some relief when my screaming can be heard far and wide.

I want to die right now, and I keep trying to think of a painless way to do it.. buying $400 worth of street fentanyl and slipping into a nice, peaceful opioid coma seems like a wonderful idea right now.. that would end the fucking suffering atleast..

I wont be wearing a colostomy bag. Colostomy bags arent sexy, they are fucking disgusting and you cant just be body positive when you have a fucking bag full of your own shit hanging off you, and your only way of having penetrative sex sewed up permanently and taken away from me. Not like I could even be a decent fuck for anybody at this point anyways. Its painful to shit, let alone anything else. I dont want to give up food either. I love food, food is literally my life and the only way I have to bond with certain people! Like my family for example. Nothing makes me just want to slip.into that coma more then the worry of the future.

Will I be sitting at a family gathering eating bland gluten free, dairy free, all organic 100% vegan fair trade horse shit on a plate while my family actually gets to enjoy the food I used to be able to eat? Moms spaghetti, grandmas meat pies, the baked goods, fresh tomatoes out of my garden and others. A good fucking steak even? Cause honestly a birthday isnt a birthday if I dont have my birthday meal.

I know for a fact my body is damaged from 4 years of suffering. I used to bounce back, now it takes the wind out of my sails for a month.

Needless to say, I just want to fucking die more then anything else. Positivity and anything I love is gone, and all that I have left is knowing that Alberta health services, coast mountain health services, providence health services, and interior health services have all fucked me in the biggest way humanely possible. So thankful for free fucking healthcare!!

You get what you bloody well pay for!!

[stumbleintothesun]

Life Rant

For the few people in here...sorry lmao this is long as hell.

Lately I've been feeling like...garbage. I know there's no one on this place that really follows me, so this is me posting to the void.

I have been dealing with a lot of health issues related to my mental health and weight. I've gained nearly twenty pounds in a year, and no matter what I do my weight doesn't budge. I work out regularly, Ive been trying to eat better but...my only thought is its because I'm working a desk job now - which I fucking hate with a fury. And I know my weight isnt the end of the world - it just really, really fucks with my mental health. I've always felt ugly. The only time I didn't was when I was super thin which I know is problematic - and I know that's part of my mental health...like my aunt died from an ED. And my mom definitely had/has an ED even if she's gotten much better about it in the past few years...

And I'm finally getting my face to clear up after wearing these masks for a year - a year! But I'm still dealing with the healing process and I'm anxious it will scar. I've worked this entire pandemic at a job I *hate* just to you know, finally pay off my student loans just go back to school so maybe I can do something I love. But even at 25 and providing for myself, I hardly got any financial help. The only thing saving me is my grades that got me a decent transfer scholarship.

But the first school I applied to wanted my high school transcript, even though I have an associate's degree, and because I'm, frankly, stupid I somehow missed that they needed it. So they threw out my application that I spent an otherwise four hours writing for.

So I'm going to Eastern, which frankly will be better for my mental health, but they don't have a tuition free program. So I'm going to have to borrow money after just finally paying off my single year at a liberal arts college debt that I took on when I was 17 (it ended up being like 30k to pay off). And it's all because I didn't fucking read right. So much for being a good student, I guess.

But it wouldn't have mattered because they would've hardly taken any of my classes despite most of them being from down the road and for an associate's degree! And even Eastern is giving me a hard time, despite my degree they say I don't have the basic level biology course - my degree is biology focused! I'm going into ecology! I have taken genetics, conservation biology, anatomy and physiology, cellular biology but I don't have intro bio? So now I have to test out, on top of working full time. Which is fine, its a good refresher...I'm just so overwhelmed with life right now. I have a stack of over 100 flash cards and I'm just anxious.

This is a year after my partner went through an ugly break up with their old fiance (we were poly), and their ex was an abusive POS who once told them if they came out as anything other than their assigned gender, he wouldn't date them anymore. He gaslit them constantly, made them feel like hell. So we finally got out, but he wanted the house they got together or 10k. He made over double what they make - and he always forced them to pay half the bills, including half of his fucking protein bullshit because it was "groceries." He knew they didn't have the funds. Because our friends are amazing, we were able to buy him off but he left the house trashed.

It fucking sucked, and they were also responsible for getting his name off the house which meant a refinance that we could hardly afford. We got lucky we were able to do it, but they hardly got anything back for it. And it was a *nightmare*. We finally got it done, after pulling teeth and it took six months. Four months longer than they said. And that entire time they were forced to occasionally reach out to him, their old abuser.

Finally we were free, but then I started having further issues at work. Between the pandemic, and working in a heavily red area during the election, I cried a lot. I work in customer service and while I make okay money for the industry, I'm constantly burned out. My colleagues are okay, but it feels stupid to leave just to find a job for three months to go back to school. Then I started being short in my drawer (I'm a teller at a bank). The final straw was being short $500. Now I'm on a work plan, and if Im short again, I'm out. And it's my fault. I don't know how it has been happening. So now I'm always on edge at work, triple checking everything. And I could leave, I could get another job but there's no promise I'll make what I do now, and in order for me to pay for the chunk of school I need to, I have to put away a certain amount every month.

I do have a grant of sorts for 5k per semester to help with bills, which will alleviate a lot once August arrives. And I know I'm crazy lucky to have that. So sometimes I feel like such an asshole about it. But we have a house to pay for and bills to pay. Just like everyone else. Ugh, I don't know.

I talked to my doctor about my weight, came in with calorie intake numbers and how much I work out with zero change. I cut out pop entirely from drinking it every day. Nothing has helped. So we switched my meds from Lexapro to Wellbutrin to see if I lose weight because of that. Nope, just having more mental break downs, steady weight, and my resting heart rate is abnormally high, stopping me from making a little extra cash donating plasma. So now I'm switching back to Lexapro with nothing gained other than. You know. Feeling like shit. Next up? Birth control coming out of my arm. Don't really need it anyway. And maybe that will help? But I don't think so. I'm not sure what to do.

I am genuinely trying to be healthy, eating more whole foods. More veggies. More home cooked meals. I love to cook, I'm just tired. And sometimes the air fryer and oven baked frozen foods are too easy to pass up. I'm trying to always eat breakfast. I'm working out again, we have a gym membership but there are so many men there and I dont always feel comfortable, because my partner has been anemic and they can't go yet. So I use our bike in the living room and do home workouts.

But when I did this last time there was zero change in weight or anything. Even when I ate really, really clean for three weeks and worked out for most days, tracking calories and everything. Nothing changed. My thyroid is fine, we've already checked it. I'm just tired.

This past year, other than being with my partner has fucking sucked. And this doesn't even cover all the shit they've dealt with with switching to they/them and a name change. I love them so much, and love that they are finally comfy but their parents were assholes about it. And that matters. It does, and I get it. I just wish I could help them more. I wish we had a break, a breather for longer than a day. Even then I can't relax, I'm too on edge. There's too much to be done. I need to earn money, I need to clean, I need to focus. I need to be productive in some way to justify if I'm not working on those things. It's...all dumb.

[sukunas-play-thing]

I hope you are doing well may i request Nsfw and Sfw headcannons For Tetsutetsu And Kosei

I am doing quite fine anon bean thank you! I'd love to write kosei and tetsu (god I love my metal hottie) characters will be aged up in the NSFW headcanons!! Also reader is female

Word count: 8559

Warnings: nsfw content below and alotta fluff.

Kosei Tsubarbura

SFW

- very competitive when it comes to you.

- He shows off when you two go to the gym to work out. Dumbbells look awfully sexy when he's looking at you with those bedroom eyes.

- Coffee and ramen dates my dudes this guy dotes on you like you're the queen if England.

- Loves loves LOVES when you support him. Seriously this guy holds so much high standards for himself it's unbelievable at what lengths he'll go to be a good hero to his people. And you.

- complete sweetheart. He melts when you cook for him, help him with his training or anything else to help his life be much mire easier.

- But don't get it twisted. He goes above and beyond for you too.

- Gets mad when you think you have to do things yourself, what kind of a man would he be if he didn't help his old lady?.

- Can't help the lecherous thoughts flood his mind when you're just being. You.

- Wearing skimpy clothes of any kind? Touched him a certain way? Simply look his way with an all too sexy look of any kind? The man falters in his steps and has to stop himself before jumping you.

- You'd think after high school his closet perv would go down? Nope his thoughts only got worse after graduating and going out into the adult world.

NSFW under the cut

- he loves it when you use your tongue on him. Lap at his neck while whispering naughty things to him, making out with him, blow jobs. This man can't help himself your tongue does the hottest things to him. It should be a sin.

-He has a kink for doing the dirty in public.

- Netflix and chill. The dude pretty much invented it. Sex scene comes on the telley? Pssh guess what let's fuck.

- Praise kink. He needs to know he's fucking you good. And that you love him deeply.

- He's competitive in general so I van see this in effect tenfold in the bedroom.

- Sees how much he can get you to orgasm before the actually sex itself. Overestimation is a must in his book.

- of course he doesn't go too far he stops occasionally to make sure you're okay.

- His favorite position is Gemini and doggy style. Gives him a damn good view of your ass and loves watching it bounce and jiggle

- Gives that booty a nice spank too.

- Up to try anything you bring to the table. In fact he's a very adventurous man in the bedroom and isn't afraid of using toys of any size as long as it gets the job done and you both are splayed out on the bed sweaty and chests heaving in pure after glow.

- Takes very good care of you afterwards.

- Makes sure you're cooled off, gets wet rags and cleans you up

- Need a snack or drink he'll get it for you just wants you to be happy.

Tetsutetsu my metal hottie (also I really love this picture of him)

SFW

- GOSH this man here.

- Apple in your eye you fell for this man the moment you came to U. A to train to become a hero.

- Your friends from other classes at first complained about his loud and boisterous behavior.

- You shot them down immediately

- You thought he was the most beautiful man you've ever seen. The main thing that you loved most about him? His eyelashes. You were kinda jealous about them.

- approaching him on the other hand?

- Gosh you couldn't be as outspoken and honest as him

- He is an inspiration to you and you're whole class.

- When you finally had enough courage to tell him how you felt? He was taken aback for sure.

- It was during the villain attack at your camp you fought moonfish trying to protect an unconscious juzo and kodai.

- Running on pure adrenaline you ran to find kendo and tetsu whom you knew were nearby after your fight with the villain. With friends in tow you found the two. tetsutetsu was happy to see you were okay but angered at the sight of your bloody self .

- "TETSUTETSU IVE DISCOVERED MY DEEP SEATED FEELINGS FOR YOU AND I CANT IMAGINE A LIFE WITHOUT YOU IN IT. "

- god you were nervous the silence was deafening.

- "Like... Friends? " kendo facepalmed. "No idiot she just proclaimed her love to you. " his eyes lit up with glee.

- "Oh well why didn't ya say so!!?? " he enveloped you in the manliest hug possible.

- You two work out and eat healthy together now.

- After graduating from U. A you both decided to officially move in together.

- Best. Time. Of. Your. Life.

- you cook meals full of iron to help his quirk.

- The best dates with tetsutetsu are when you both go to arcades. Watching him play fighting games is so wholesome sometimes you forget you're supposed to be playing too and end up losing.

- "Babe!! Plus ultra!! You're supposed to kick that dirt bags ass!!"

- he's a movie night type of guy for sure. Mostly action and the like. Bends when you give him puppy eyes to watch something besides pure action. Your choices in films shocks and surprises him all the same.

- Horror.

- He gets so into yelling at the characters making dumb decisions and ends up dying. "THE CHIN. KICK HIM IN HIS BALLS DONT LET HIM KILL YOU. "you may or may not have recorded his reactions to movies before to show your friends later. He's such a dork

- Behind hugs while your doing anything around the house became a thing to him. Something about watching you work on anything you're doing at the time entices him to go up and hug tf outta you.

- He may be loud and hot headed but he's such a cuddle bug.

NSFW under the cut

- first off. Hes loud. Very loud

- the first time you both did the deed was in your living room. And apparently the walls are not near thick enough for this man.

- Neighbors complained some though gave tetsutetsu fist bumps.

- Eventually have to invest in moving into an actual house. In the country. Away from ears.

- You both wanted to do it way sooner, but being in school and the fact his mother threatened to kill him if he got you pregnant scared you both into waiting till after high school.

- when you realized how bad you loved this man and wanted the relationship to progress to physical intimacy was when he came home real late from patrolling. You woken to him just getting out of the shower and seen his bare back turned to you while he was rummaging for clothes to wear.

- God he was so sexy. Watching his muscles flex and move under his skin while water droplets fell. It made you so wet and the urge to climb him like a tree took over you.

- Slinking from bed as quiet as you could, you walked to him while he was putting a shirt on. Midway he felt small arms wrap around his stomach and stopped. His arms still in the air and shirt still over his head he felt your hands languidly move from his abs feeling every dip and curve of his body. Kissing his shoulder blades muttering words of praise to him.

- When your small hands reached his pecks feeling his clothed bulge grow in size through his sweatpants. He threw his shirt off him turning and picking you up so fast you squeaked a surprise.

- "Aight time to fuck."

- Sometimes his straight-forwardness was timed so right.

- his strength tends to leave him at times and forgets to be gentle. Unless you're into it he won't stop.

- Biting. That's it.

- Loves blowjobs

- His favorite position is any position especially those where he can pet you and see you're face contort in the most sinful expressions

- Gets off on you wearing his clothes.

- Walking around naked or in just a shirt and panties they'll be ripped off immediately.

- He tends to get jealous. Especially if you're around kirishima. I mean they're both nearly identical

- So jealous sex is common. Not that you'd complain. The mans got such a hot blooded personality and needless to say you love it when he's rough.

- The aftermath is messy and at times painful. So he always always takes care of his lady

- Hot baths together and watching a movie after is such a calming high.

- Praise kink

- May be dirty or gross to some but he's used your panties to beat the meat before.

- so all in all 100/10 Tetsutetsu is best man.

((Uhhmmm.... I'm sorry I wrote more for tetsutetsu than kosei I need to practice writing kosei more. I'm sure I am an inner hoe for him just gotta let her lose. But can you blame me? Tetsutetsu is best boy and deserves the whole damn world and then some. Please guys u be sleeping on him!))

Guys got anymore requests??? Send em in show me that inner hoe!!

🐲Queen Targe 🐲

[letstalksymphogear]

Symphogear, EP.7 (Cont.)

“i have not now, nor ever, liked this creepy ass church elevator.”

“kanade please get out of my head, just because im hungry doesnt mean you have to tell me every time i am”

Hibiki finishes getting a full body X-ray. She’s fine.

“that anime protagonist immunity is really kicking in well!”

“by the way, your wife is here! and she’s looking mighty miffed., as opposed to me, mighty milfed.”

“you dont strike me as a mother figure but ill play along for now”

“i just hope miku’s okay...”

“oh, she’ll be fine! see, i’ve seen these kinds of plots before. big secret revealed, another lover is shown, the victim watches as they’re thoroughly cheated on, and they get to lik-”

“please stop breathing”

Genjuro’s wasting away again in Margaritaville. Looking for some daughter to adopt. SOME PEOPLE SAY THAT THERE’S A, WOOOOMAAAAAN TO BLAAAAAAAAAAME, BUT HE KNOWS

XYLOPHONE RIFF

THAT’S IT’S ALL HIS FAULT

XYLOPHONE RIFF

“i hate it when he gets like this. jimmy buffets not a good look for him.”

“for once you and i agree. seeing the commander sulk like this like a middle aged perma-tourist is genuinely miserable”

“hey homies! im back and i brought some bitches! oh, jesus, why does this place smell like mistakes in miami?”

“its me. im sorry. every time i feel like i failed as a dad, my anti-dad energies manifest. imagine every midlife crisis rolled up into a single ball, smacked into the face for eternity. thats the depth of my pain for failing this girl.”

In a moment of positivity, the friendship between Tsubasa and Hibiki is cemented.

> Tsubasa has joined the party.

“FRIENDSHIP!”

“fweindship.”

“uuuuhhhhh... dadship? yeah thats close enough.”

“WE’RE ALL GOOD FRIENDS!”

“ya tiddies are ringing again, better go get it”

Ryoko also points out that Hibiki’s relic is fusing with herself at an alarming rate. This is important to keep in mind.

Meanwhile, at night.

Miku is posing in the motherly “you done fucked up, where have you been young lady” position. A cold scolding is coming.

“.........................hey miku......”

“you can come in. are you worried im gonna bite? you suplexed a car. that shouldn’t be an issue anymore.”

“miku, i.... i wanted to tell you.... but.... the plot wouldn’t let me, miku....”

“should’ve told the plot to fuck off anyway. now you’re gonna live with that. you’re sleeping... on the bottom bunk.”

“b.... b..... b...... b.... b...... bottom bunk...?”

They slept separately that night. God, this is so stupid. All of this is so goddamned stupid. “I’m so mad at you even though you saved my life.” This is just so. AUGH. THIS IS DUMB. KANEKO WRITE BETTER ANGST THAT MAKES SENSE THAT ISN’T THIS.

Meanwhile, far away from this garbage...

Chris, having been evicted from Fine’s McMansion, wanders the streets of mumblemumble aimlessly. Don’t be fooled by her new fancy dress. Basically, she’s a combat-competent hobo.

“no food. no home. no victories. this sucks. whyd you do it, fine? we coulda been great together. but no. ya fired me. now i look like im prancing the red light district with a highly advanced superweapon around my neck.”

“no... hibiki’s to blame. ever since that genderbent little mac showed up to fight me, it’s been all downhill. fine thought me a laughstock because i couldnt take out her oversized boxing gloves, and now she beat me while i had nehushtan. god... i wish i never met that damn hamster faced chubby cheeked nerd.”

“wait, whats that crying”

Chris spies two kids talking to each other, one of them crying. Chris immediately makes an assumption, believing the big bro is bullying his sis.

“hey! stop nicking her lunch money, twerp”

Chris currently is a firm believer of corporeal punishment.

But the sister deflects the blow. Chris can’t even defeat children right now. Truly, this is a record low for her. You know you blew it when even kids are schooling you on basic morality. She then tells the little girl to stop crying, ironically mirroring her brother.

The infamous double T-Pose maneuver. Chris, you might as well get a shovel and start digging your own grave.

“i keep doing bad things badly, and now im doing good things badly... when fine said i was bad... did she just mean im not talented?”

Chris, finally, does a good thing and helps these kids find their parents.

“yeah. hibiki saved a kid when she got her gear. guess what? bam! im saving two! that’s fifty percent more kid per kid saved. take that, weirdo.”

The kids call her out on Chris singing unconsciously, and Chris gets flustered over it. Dawwwwww.

Chris manages to get them to safety to their Dad...

...while brutally lying about it, making Chris look like a predator. There’s a very crushing irony at play here, given who Chris used to serve.

“ugggggggggggggggghhhhhh hes not even gonna payyyyy meeeeeee why the fuck did i dooooo thiiiiiiissssss”

“hey, you know. you kids have a really nice relationship with one another. care to give me tips on how to be an empathetic human being capable of making friends?”

“maybe we’re born with it”

“maybe its maybeline”

“maybeline...”

Meanwhile...

A cold wind blows through Lydian Apartment 69-L. (I don’t actually know if that’s their room number, I just made it up.)

“jesus take the wheel, because i’m jumping out the passenger seat to save this current wreck of a relationship”

“miku please i saved your life, doesnt that count for anything”

“you already killed me the moment you lied. also im taking the bottom bunk so i dont have to see your face coming down the ladder.”

“miku you cant hide in this depression den forever. i know i hurt you and im sorry for it, but please understand i literally couldnt do it. you saw there were punches and violence and stuff... i didnt want you tied to that...”

“what was that? i cant hear your apologies over my incredibly loud snoring. SNOOOOOOORE. SNOOOOOOOORE. SNOOO- fuck, i just swallowed my spit, fuck”

“i hope this cocoon of displeasure you’ve made for yourself lets you erupt into a butterfly of acceptance so i can fly with you again.”

“......thats not fair. you cant say those beautiful metaphors and get away with it. let me be mad... sniff... let me be mad...”

Sadness wafts in the den of lies Hibiki has been forced into.

No music plays. There is only heartbreak, and woe.

In the midst of this pain...

Ryoko loredumps about how the Symphogears work and are immune to the noise on her blog, ‘hornyonmainforscience.org’, her hybrid science journal slash kink zone. It’s mostly a recap with some pretty good soft techno beats in it.

“i made a custom brew of red bull, five hour energy drink, coffee, and cream. i call it gamer girl piss.”

“damn. that’s some good piss.”

She muses about how Hibiki has managed to break the limitations of her Symphogear, making her a totally unique specimen. Wait, where have we heard this before...?

Hey... Ryoko... let’s just... cool it a bit with the Hibiki pictures... come on...

Ryoko touches upon the Custodians and the Curse of Babel. We ain’t touching that shit until later, because that’s another shitfuck box of crazy just ready to jump us in a dark alleyway to rob us of our wits.

Back to Lydian:

“miku whats the answer to the first three multiple choice questions”

“B. A. D.”

“oh, thanks. huh, BAD.”

“yeah. you are.”

“mmm. taste likes dissapointment. just like my life.”

“hey table for two haha get it cause there’s two chairs and miku for the love of god, please, forgive me”

“ive surgically removed my eyes and drew eyelashes over them with sharpie so i dont have to see your bird bangs.”

“thats very rude to both me and my hair. also, wig.”

Even Hibiki’s meal is judging her. Mainly for not eating it. Fucking look at this. God, that looks amazing. Fuck, why did I write this while I was hungry.

“miku you cant do this forever. i might die and youll end up crying on my tombstone going ‘oh god, why, oh god’, and really, i cant live with myself if that happens. mainly because id already be dead by then”

The Anime Janai crew show up to break some icebergs with a goddamn sledgehammer. As the self-aware Gods of this realm, they got very tired of this poor display of angst, and have decided to directly intervene.

Nevermind. They came for her kneecaps, and they most certainly got them.

PLEASE. I’M BEGGING YOU. END THIS GARBAGE PLOT THREAD.

“look. imma lay down the facts. yall are gay. yall are in love. yall are angry for the wrong reasons. its nobody’s fault here but the writer. so please kiss and make up. pretty please.”

“kaneko... you fool... we all know what the original sin is. its your hack writing making this stupidity in the first place. let the pencil go, asshole!”

They bring up the fact that Hibiki isn’t doing her work and wonder if she has a job on the side, which isn’t allowed by the school. Miku gets annoyed and bails, with Hibiki running after her. Unfortunately, Miku runs faster...

“oh god miku not the rooftop whatever you’re thinking just dont do it! please!”

“no. i came here to angst, since this is the Maximum Angst Zone.”

“i..... okay! okay, that’s fair! rooftops are the perfect place to look sad while getting proper air ventilation, thats fine”

It really would have been better played if it was played off that she felt hurt not because of the lie, but because she felt like she could have helped her better having known the truth, and it being a self-loathing sort of scenario for not being there better for her and not fully understanding the risk at play.

But no, instead, we get this.

Absolutely obliterated. A heart ripped, shredded, and sent to the Shadow Realm.

The episode ends on that note, but has a post credit scene.

Naked. On an old timey telephone. On a computer. Wearing stockings and long gloves.

The main antagonist of the series, everybody.

She’s talking the best English possible to some random-ass American when suddenly bursting through the scene is none other than:

“I WANT WORKERS COMPENSATION YOU BITCH, BEFORE I UNIONIZE YOUR NAKED ASS”

“AND I WANT A GOOD REFERNECE FOR MY FUTURE EMPLOYER, AND ALSO A SEVERANCE PACKAGE SINCE I’M FUCKING HOMELESS”

“i paint my eyelashes with mascara made from the tar of freshly carbonated corpses manufactured through noise, what on gods green earth compels you to think id give a rats ass about you?”

“so you never cared, huh! you’re just a nasty naked hedonist trying to- trying to- what the fuck are you even trying to do?!”

“i want to live the dream every spicy little fossil like me yearns for.”

“I WANNA FUCK GOD!”

“how- what? what? how do you even- what? are you- do you want to be the pope? is that it? does the pope get to fuck god? are you- is this a larping thing? you’ve really been into larping lately! i don’t like this!”

“youve never read the old testament, have you. ass out, pussy bare, hips up and barefoot. that’s how god’s always liked it.”

“now get lost, punk. you tipped off my hand to genjuro and now you being here is going to ruin everything. if you still feel any semblance of devotion, eat one of your own bullets and call it a day.”

“it’s 2012 bitch, if the mayans dont get you, I WILL”

“what god gives, He takes away, and so do i. i built you from the ground up. your relic, which was good for jack shit on you. the nehushtan, which you failed to do anything with except zap a couple hundred people. stop wars? you’re a walking war, waged by me, for me. and your cartridge has just run out of bullets.”

“uh oh! hand’s acting up again! better bail before i send you back to smacktown where all the bitter little shittalkers like you strut around spending their lives being useless as hell.”

“ah fuck, im not dealing with no manos: the hands of fate bullshit again”

“and guess what else i got on motherfucker”

“i see the union efforts have officially been busted. understandable, have a nice day ma’am”

“LEAVE.”

“I’M GOING, I’M GOING”

[ginawesome-blog]

Here is a summary of my weightloss story🧡

I will make another post about how I eat soon🌻

My weight has been an issue for me my entire life. Growing up ive always been the funny fat one who hated physical aticity more than anything. In fact, I could cry my self to sleep if I knew we were going to have gym the next day. I got physically sick if we had mandatory activities.

When I was 15 I found out I have PCOS (cysts on the ovaries, which fucks up your hormones and makes it easy to gain weight and a lot of other stuff) and a nutritionist was going to help me lose weight for the first time. I was 84 kg and ready for change. She gave me a strict diet, telling me what to eat every single day down to the gram. It was horrible and super effektive. I lost 20kg in 5 months, without working out. But I didnt learn anything about how to eat like a normal person and it only worked like a temporary cure. I moved out from home, started "cooking" my own food, started drinking, and so over time I gained 30kg🎉

So there I was. 96kg at162cm. Miserable and unhealthy.

Summer of 2012 I had a power moment. I decided that enough was enough and I joined a gym and threw out all the unhealthy food in my apartment. At the gym I spent 30 minutes on the treadmill and 30 minutes on random machines. I was doing research on how I should eat, tried many different diets and it was effektive. One day  my dear friend Mari showed me how to deadlift, squat and benchpress. And we noticed I was getting strong faster than my friends, and after some time discovered powerlifting excisted. What an amazing sport! Being active, lifting heavy shit, pushing your self and just feeling so strong and confident!

In 2015, after some yoyo weightloss, I contacted @coachsvein aka @styrkebror. Very smart💥 at this point I weighed arround 80kg.

He helped me learn about calories and food og made a workout program for me.  (this is also when I learnt that you dont have to do cardio to lose weight😍)

Summer of 2016 I qualified for nationals. I weighed 70kg. And started thinking about trying to reach the 63kg class and go for the current squat record of 17,5kg. The dream started.

But somewhere a long the road I lost my self. My mind was messed up. Everything was about numbers. My bodyweight, calories, waistline and what I was lifting. I became obsessed and I let these numbers define me as a person.  I was miserable on the inside.

To paint a picture of how bad it was, when I went on vacation to Albania, I got up at 7am every day to go for a fucking run. Even tho ai hated every step. I felt guilty for everything I ate, lifted weights daily and it was just horrible. This is not how a vacation should feel.

I will never forget the feeling when I got home and weighed my self and realised I would not make it to 63kg in time for nationals. I cried for hours and barely got out of bed. I felt like a complete failure.

I took some time off work and tried to pick my self up again.

When i competed in nationals in october 2016 i came in 4th in - 72kg and I was very happy with this. But the dream off 63kg class was still there.

February 2017 at regionals I was 69kg, and not mentally healthy at all. I meal prepped, counted calories, declined social events and would punish my self I thought I ate too much.

March 2017 I found out I was accepted to volunteer in Zambia for a year, where I knew I would have to let go of control. So I started there and then. It felt like a huge weight off my shoulders that I wouldnt have to complete or think about weight.

August 2017 I left for Zambia. 75kg.

Zambia was like a reboot. No one cared about any of my numbers. Gaining weight and being called fat was a good thing. I had to eat what I was given by my host family. I partied a lot. I worked out 4 times a week. I gained another 10kg

So summer of 2018 I came home. I had managed to keep a lot of my strength and I weighed 85kg. I knew I wanted to lose weight again. But this time I was going to do it in a healthy way that would last.

The fact is Ive lost 22 kg since july18, at the same time Ive been keeping my strength and getting stronger in all lifts. Ive eaten candy, chocolate, ice cream or pizza every time I really felt like it. Ive have had one to many beers when I wanted.

and to be honest it hasnt been really hard

Ive focused on the long term weightloss and everyday healthy habits. No calories or cm counted. Tho I have to mention that Im happy I learned how to count it, cause it taught me a lot about what I eat and helped me understand it better. But I never want to do it again.

So what did I do?

🌻Choosing to get enough sleep, aka keep a bedtime, no matter how good that serie on Netflix is

🌻 Walk a lot through out the day, normally arround 15000 steps

🌻Eat a lot of vegetables and fruit, which keeps me full and happy

🌻I eat when I can feel that Im hungry, not when I planned to

🌻 When I choose to eat high calorie food, I make some changes the other part of the day so I dont get way too many calorie. Also I try to never feel guilty. Regret is a choice. I wanted it. I ate it. Its done. Now keep going and make the next choices according to your goal.

🌻I have weighed my self every day, which I think has been so frikkin smart. It has made me more relaxed when the numbers shift, it has showed me the progress over long time, and it has showed me that Im in control, without be coming obsessed.

Now I am stronger than ever. Both physically and mentally.

Like I said, my weight has been an issue for me for my entire life and Im pretty sure it always will be at some level. But it doesnt control me, my decisions, my mood or my life. Yes, there are hard days or moments where my mindset is challenged, but they pass. Cause I work on it.

Im sharing this cause people have told me my honesty has helped in the past. Maybe it can help someone again.

And if you thought this was the longest story of your life, just imagine what @coachsvein has been through for the last 4,5 years. I think ive told him every detail about every feeling regarding these things. He has helped me so much and given so much of his time to me. Free of charge. And I would truly NEVER ever be where I am today if it wasnt for him. Thank you for never quitting on me❤️

Thanks for reading❤️