#and may i just say: yeah it's actually very frustrating isn't it. you can sort of see why i was pissy about it previously.

[unopenablebox]

look. most people on tumblr, like most people everywhere, are just kind of innumerate, at least in slightly unexpected cases theyre asked to discuss on polls. they can't demonstrate an understanding of probability and they also don't understand compound interest. this is bad, but we can't fix it by explaining on the polls at length why they are wrong, because people on tumblr, in a specific manner but also still pretty much like people everywhere, think you are a fun-ruining evil stemlord who automatically loses the argument and should be put to death as the oppressor if you try to explain math to them

[tomwambsmilk]

"[Shiv's pregnancy] was always something that Jesse had discussed in the writers' room, and so once we decided to bring it into the narrative it added a completely different take, I guess, on some of the scenes... I think Shiv's got some pretty complicated feelings about becoming a mother. She's, in some ways, feigning indifference because, again, it's one of those things that's almost too hard to face and Shiv doesn't like dealing with emotions. It's easier to repress things. I think there's a competitiveness in there against her feelings with her own mother and her desire to better her own mother's maternal qualities - but a fear that she probably won't be able to do that. [And] a fear and a frustration that all the things that she's been working towards and aiming towards she may not now be able to achieve because she will be a mother as well as a businesswoman, and how do these two things coalesce in her life? I think that she hasn't really considered that as a path for her life, and so it's quite a shock....

Especially with the conversation about the viability of the pregnancy, I think for her, in a way, it would have been easier if there was something wrong so that she could have a reason to terminate and not feel guilt. But, with nothing wrong, there's no reason to not continue. So it's a complex - hoping for the worst in a strange sort of unfazed way.... [She doesn't tell Tom because] it's too complicated, I think. It changes too much, there's too much going on - her father just died, there's so many business machinations happening, that to then bring Tom into it in a familial sense would confuse it again. She doesn't know how she feels about it herself. In a way she, I think, would prefer to decide what her own feelings were about this before she has Tom's feelings muddying the waters...

Shiv as a parent - I can't really imagine her with a little baby at all! And in some ways - she probably won't have it with her a lot. She would have nannies and she would - the premise of Shiv becoming a mother is fascinating to me... Definitely what Shiv would be contemplating is 'in what ways is this going to hold me back, not propel me forward'. Which is pretty - like, as a standard of society, that's the thought we go to first, and presume is what she would be thinking. Yes, that's right for the character, for Shiv, but also - a human being growing another human being entirely from scratch is an extraordinary feat no matter what. That's the powerful one! That's the strong one! That's the one that manages to get it out of their body and manages to then feed it from the things they make in their own body. Women are extraordinary! And yet those are the very things that we use to... yeah! Yeah! To hold them back! It's wild!" - Sarah Snook on HBO's Succession Podcast: "Honeymoon States"

"We wanted to slowly reveal [Shiv's pregnancy] because we're not one of those shows (as I'm sure you can tell) that wants to immediately just, like, stuff all the drama and immediately grab you by the lapels and go, "Keep watching! Keep watching!" We kind of like to move more slowly than that. And there's obviously so much going on in these first three episodes - particularly the third - and we thought it was a rather nice reveal, actually, for her to have this phone call with the doctor at the top of Four, I'll say because I think Shiv has been a bit in denial about it up until this point as well. She's broken up from her husband essentially, they've separated, and she's discovered that she's pregnant, and I think she's had mixed feelings about that... The way I always think of it is - it wasn't bad news, exactly, but it was the worst possible time. What I love about that performance as well as the writing is - it's not something you see very often, and I think it's very truthful, which is: this is a very complicated situation for her, where it's the fact that she's pregnant with her husband who she's separated from the child, and she isn't even particularly sure that she 100% wants to go through that. It's now all on her. And I think that's a big part of what she's feeling which is - 'oh, I guess that's good news, but in a way, as awful as it is to say, it would have been easier to hear the other'." - Lucy Prebble on HBO's Succession Podcast: "Honeymoon States"

[a-couple-of-notes]

I love the idea of jealous Imogen a lot, especially since she has been shown to be petty and abrasive in many ways. But when it comes to my personal read on Imogen and her relationship with Laudna, I can never fully get behind the end result that people seem to be hoping for when they talk about jealous Imogen, which is that Imogen gets so fed-up and possessive over Laudna that she breaks and ends up confessing/turning on the offending party member*.

The way I read Imogen, she turns her anger/emotion inward as much as outward. She's so consciously aware of both her inclination for violence and her influence over Laudna; actually breaking over jealousy would a) probably take longer than people think and b) cause a massive amount of self-loathing if it happened.

Even with the Dusk situation, I think a big part of her implosion over it is because of her rift with Laudna at the time, not just pure jealousy. And even with all of her suspicions, Imogen is very careful to be calming and supportive when Laudna talks about getting asked out. She asks, "Do you want to say yes?" She reaffirms to Laudna that "Dusk seems sweet." This indicates to me that, while Imogen may be snippy and have moments of obvious and hilarious frustration, when it comes down to it, Imogen will try her damndest to make sure that Laudna's choice isn't affected by her jealousy. She'll be warm and supportive and encouraging, and any other feelings will be repressed even further.

So as much as I like petty, angry Imogen, I don't think another jealousy arc would really move anything forward in her and Laudna's relationship. It might make it worse, which is its own kind of fun. But really, I think it would probably result in Imogen forcing distance again, letting Laudna have the space to explore herself while she struggles to get a grip on her emotions...

...which would serve my own "If Imogen and Laudna do move toward a romantic relationship, I'd like to see both of them date someone else first" agenda really well. So actually, yeah - go for it.

(*I know things like "Imogen v. Prism PVP out of jealousy" or "Imogen fries all the people hitting on Laudna with her brain" are just shitposts and I get it; but I do overthink things and am unreasonably interested in the implications for how the larger fandom is reading Imogen. Personally, I feel like this sort of "Imogen will get sooo jealous of anyone Laudna gets close to" read is part of a larger interpretation of Imogen as, like, one step away from unhinged, completely unable to function without Laudna, a weird cross between infantilizing Imogen and exaggerating her most flawed characteristics. And--again, personal read--I think that's a shame. It feels like we can acknowledge Laudna exploring other relationships--Yu, Ira, Ashton, Prism, Delilah--but Imogen's stuck twiddling her thumbs, waiting for Laudna to self-actualize.)

[batsplat]

"I believe that I can be faster than Rossi. He knows that too and it worries him. I probably shouldn't say it but I think that it was because of that in Laguna he let his ambition to win take control over his technique."

one thing that nobody ever brings up with the casey/valentino rivalry is how casey kinda preempts his jerez 2011 line right after laguna 2008, which is a nice little moment that helps to make the rivalry as a whole feel more cohesive. "he let his ambition to win take control over his technique" his ambition, yeah?? 'technique' obviously not quite the same thing as 'talent', but they basically both function as ways of capturing actual 'skill' - rather than anything of a more 'psychological' nature. always comes back to the same things with the two of them, in the end

it's neat how that one line at jerez 2011... y'know, of course it does work well out of context because it's just sort of an elegant, pithy way of saying your enemy is suffering from a case of the hubris, that he isn't as good as he thinks he is. which IS definitely what casey was saying, but there's a little more to it than that, right. it's notable that casey in his autobiography does use the line to make such a broad sweeping assessment of valentino's entire career. casey says outright that he meant the comment... because valentino had the luck of coming through a weak era and building up a lot of confidence (that clearly casey feels is unearned) - which made him such a great rider. and... it is a slightly shaky bit of logic when you hold it up to scrutiny. confidence is all well and good, but it can't make you any better than however good you are fundamentally capable of being. whatever 'talent' is, the whole point of that concept is that it imposes an ultimate ceiling on your potential. you can maximise your potential more effectively than others, sure, and confidence may very well be a part of that - but confidence only goes so far as an explanation for why someone is as good as they are. it'd be different if casey had said valentino was statpadding in a weak era and was shown up once decent competitors arrived, but he mostly isn't doing that. and at the same time, casey has this... y'know, a bit of a sore spot, where any suggestion that he might not be mentally up to scratch is something he's highly sensitive to. which he reacts to by being extra strident about his own mental strength; he's typically very insistent about how he isn't a victim to fluctuations in confidence. he says as much in his autobiography - he's always felt that he's one of the mentally strongest out there, he knows he can have confidence in his abilities, he doesn't need to make excuses unlike other riders. and, yes, obviously his frustration at how frequently his mentality was derided is justified; casey was certainly a lot tougher than he is often portrayed. to the extent that this is even measurable, he really was one of the mentally strongest and most confident riders. at the same time, casey isn't as unaffected as he sometimes tries to sell it - because nobody is. nobody can be mentally perfect. casey's ideal of racing is a pure one, unaffected by any sort of politics or requirement to perform for the outside world or any of it... and it is also one where his body and mind never let him down. the reality won't ever be quite so sweet

all of this does leave you in an interesting position. what casey is essentially suggesting, right, is that valentino's success is a bit of a mirage. not reflective of his true ability, a scam of sorts based on (over)confidence, how everyone around him has treated him like a god when he is anything but. yes, valentino might be a good rider, but he isn't that good. the ambition is greater than the talent; his confidence is greater than what his technique warrants. bridging the gap between the two comes down to one sleight of hand after the other - an ability to exert pressure off the track in ways casey does not consider a legitimate element of the sport, a dirty approach to riding that frequently crosses the line to the actively unfair. ways of gaming the system that allow valentino to make up for a deficit in raw skill in other ways... see casey talking in 2021 about how valentino could not do a fast lap without a tow (towing of course being one of casey's least favourite things in this plane of existence). this line of argumentation does run into a bit of trouble with casey's position that mind games don't affect him, that if anything they have a tendency to backfire on the person playing them. if you do them wrong (which casey clearly believes valentino is doing), then you're just making enemies for yourself. all of these things can't really be true at once, right - either your mental game is making up for your lack of talent or your mental game is actually hurting you. the results have to be coming from somewhere. to the extent that valentino's ambition outweighed his talent, it does feel like this might have been a winning approach. maybe self-delusion is the correct method after all. as long as you're winning, does it ultimately really matter if you have the talent to win as much as you do?

while valentino did at times rankle at the suggestion that casey is the superior rider when they were actual rivals... generally, when it comes to talent, it does feel like he's more or less willing to concede the point. it's by far the descriptor valentino uses the most in conjunction with casey. "he's very, very strong, very young," says valentino after catalunya 2007, "a great talent who rides without many problems. he is riding like a god!" and since casey's retirement - "one of the greatest talents ever in motogp", "one of the most talented and difficult riders to beat because, for me, about the pure talent, he’s unbeatable", "the most talented rider I saw"... valentino might not explicitly be calling casey more talented than himself, but he's hardly far off. casey's comments at the top of this post weren't particularly well-advised in the moment, but are the two of them even in all that much disagreement? of course valentino was worried about casey. yes, in the middle of 2008 casey was for all intents and purposes the faster rider. casey was obviously right that valentino wasn't winning through raw skill alone. in that recent podcast appearance of his, valentino is quite clear about this... casey was so fast that valentino decided he needed to target him mentally. valentino played dirty - and he had no compunctions whatsoever about crashing them both out if he had to. in no way does that devalue the victory in valentino's mind. if his ambition really took control of his technique... well then, so be it. and casey did let valentino get in his head. there's a reason why casey frames it as such a turning point - he learned some important lessons that day. lessons he would much racer have never needed to learn, but lessons nevertheless (see x, x)

and y'know, for all that they both (especially casey) aren't necessarily fans of this framing that casey is the talented one and valentino is the clever/mentally strong one... well, they do lean into it themselves. that's what I found so charming about this particular juxtaposition of backhanded compliments/insults, right. casey says that valentino is less talented than jorge, that valentino is more talented than casey in some ways but less in others - and, extremely tellingly, his example for what valentino is more talented at is "dealing with the media". valentino says casey is "unique" and rides in "an incredible way", but also essentially implies... idk, that casey needed to be "not particularly intelligent" to ride the ducati that way? but like, as a compliment? but also clearly not? obviously they're both being pretty rude about each other here - but that's basically the point of this post. even their insults are thematically cohesive! it all comes together rather nicely... as we've established valentino has called casey talented plenty of times and casey has been rather less complimentary of valentino in that regard. on the flip side, casey has spoken about how "clever", "savvy", "cunning", and so on, whereas valentino has at the very least flirted with calling casey mentally fragile and less intelligent. idk, isn't there something neat about having such a clearly defined contrast between two rivals? one that also reflects their entire mindsets, their approaches, their value systems, their self-conceptions... it's this dynamic, right

and

that particular post is talking mainly about the similarities between the pair of them - which are fun, but in no way serve to remove the gulf between them. you need a good gulf on some dimension or another for a top tier rivalry, like that's where you get the tension from, the narrative juice... valentino's ambition was so considerable that his talent could never have matched it. and casey's talent was so unbeatable that his ambition was always going to struggle to keep apace. mind versus matter, style versus substance, will versus ability, ambition versus talent... if given the choice, neither of them would switch with the other, because they both firmly believe that their way is the most satisfying way to win. the contrast between the two of them also happens to delineate what they both pride themselves the most on. still, valentino had to reinvent himself to beat casey, casey had to learn from valentino to get back at him... that's what you want from a rivalry, ideally - two strong characters with immutable core characteristics that are fundamentally in opposition to those belonging to their rival, embroiled in a conflict that reveals the similarities between the pair of them as well as forcing them both to adapt and change in response to each other. 10/10 rivalry what can you say

[spinningbuster98]

Metroid II's structure is very unique among any other game in the series

People say this game is linear but actually it kind of isn't. In fact it's LESS linear than the likes of Fusion, Dread and Prime 3

Actually it can even be considered to be less linear than Super

It's linear in the sense that you go from one area to the other in a predetermined manner, true

However once you're IN an area....you have complete and total freedom on how to tackle it. In what order do you kill the Metroids? Will you find the power ups? In what order? With the exception of area 1, which forces you to find the Bombs and Spider Ball at least, you can do whatever you want in these areas so long as you kill all the Metroids in them. Everything you find is on YOU. The Varia Suit, the various beams, the space jump etc. The game gently nudges you in the directions of some of them but you'll almost never just find them on the way to your next objective, nor are most of them needed for progression, like half of the upgrades in Super

I'll get more into it when I get to Super but, unlike that game, Metroid II doesn't have a "sequence" to be followed or broken. This is more like a bite sized, limited open world game where you can go wherever you want for the most part with few restrictions

As far as level design goes on the one hand I do think this is a huge improvement over Metroid 1's: there's more variation, much more varied level structures, enemy placement is nowhere near as bullshit

....but I have various problems

So generally speaking Metroid II's level design can be split into 4 categories: the caverns, the domes, the buildings and the Metroid Nests

The caverns are boring but tbf you don't spend much time in them as their mostly used to link areas together, plus the feeling of gradually descending them is genuinely unique so kudos on that

The domes are....f-fine? They're certainly unique, having wide open spaces surrounding the more intricate buildings...but they're overly spacious with barely anything to do or find, mostly just serving as hub worlds of sorts between the various bits and pieces of building areas at best....or an excuse for the game to showcase its verticality at worst

Metroid II reaaaaally likes its vertical shafts and every time the game has you climb one or climb a vertical section of a dome just to reach a specific entrance or such it's usually a boring or potentially frustrating experience because you either use the Spider Ball and take 3 centuries to scale a wall or you use the Space Jump with its unruly timing and the fact that you get cancelled out of it if you get hit and....yeah no it's not really fun

The insides of the buildings are the best parts of the game and the most orthodox for a Metroid game, since you get some of that trademark, labyrinthine design.

And....on the one hand it's better than Metroid 1's for the reasons I previously mentioned....but on the other hand I'm not a fan of how Metroid II essentially seems to split these areas into tiny bits

You don't get a huge network of interconnected hallways and rooms like you'd expect from a usual Metroid game here, rather the game essentially splits a regular Metroid area and spreads the pieces across a dome Area. I suppose this was done to make it all easier to digest for a handheld game? But the end result makes these areas just feel smaller and less interesting to go through, I feel like I'm playing bits and pieces of a larger level that really should've been connected in a more organic way

Finally we have the Metroid nests

They suck!

They suck because not only are they mostly collections of boring and samey vertical shafts, but also because this is where the game's screencrunch starts rearing its ugly head

And I'm not just referring to you running into enemies while trying to either ascend or descend the shafts but especially to the fact that the screen doesn't allow you to see both walls of the shaft at the same time. This is an issue because you may very easily miss an entrance on either side as you're going along the shaft, meaning that you'll have to weave between both walls all the time to make sure you're not missing anything and if you do well then good luck fucker! 'Cause these places look the goddamn same and there's no map!

And before anyone says that it's the point of Metroid to get lost: there's a difference between getting lost because I missed some environmental details or didn't look at the map carefully enough and getting lost because everywhere in an area looks the same, there's screencrunch and no map

Also no: this isn't excusable due to this being a gameboy game and thus screencrunch is "inevitable"

This game's screencrunch is mostly cause by the sprites, Samus' especially, being too big and taking up too much screen space. If they were smaller then the screen would be able to "zoom out" the image and let us see more ahead of us, but I guess that they really wanted to show off the spritework

Remember when I said that this game doesn't always work within the limitations of the gameboy, but against them? Yeah evidently having Gunpei Yokoi as director didn't mean much when it came to stuff like this I guess

[rollercoasterwords]

wanted to pop by just to say that

you may not know what sort of environment they were raised in or what access to education they had

is the most important thing i learned in dismantling my own classist behavior i didn’t even know i was taking part in when i got to uni.

like i used to get so frustrated with people in lectures for saying things/ sharing opinions about readings because i viewed them as perpetuating harmful stereotypes. and then i’d complain about the things i heard in class to friends.

now if i hear something that i think could be harmful, i bring it up directly to the person and 9 times out of 10 the person had no idea what they said could be interpreted in a negative way/ had no clue that certain words shouldn’t be said.

and it’s been huge for me because:

I get to have productive conversations with people from completely different backgrounds and learn about why it’s not always a good thing to assume intent over ignorance.

have been able to recognize some of my own hurtful thought patterns and work against them

People are generally very happy these things have been pointed out in private settings with a focus on learning rather than shame.

yeah it's just one of those things where like. it can be so exhausting + frustrating to hear harmful rhetoric echoed by people around u, and a lot of times the natural response is to get defensive + assume the worst + just like...get really angry + frustrated with them for perpetuating harmful shit. and like--that's a natural response, and it sucks bc they usually are perpetuating harmful shit, and it's just not always possible to sit down with someone who is saying something hurtful and talk it through. it's exhausting to have to explain to people over and over again why they should treat u like a human being.

but learning to differentiate between hate versus ignorance is important because being open to having these conversations (when we have the energy, the time, the safety to do so, etc) is really the only way to fight ignorance + misinformation. like, if a person is misinformed, the only solution to that problem is to inform them.

and honestly i've found this to be an important perspective shift in my own life as well. i think so often the most hateful voices are the ones that get blasted, and it's easy to forget that most regular people are just trying their best to navigate the world and want to treat others kindly if given the opportunity. and it can be really disheartening to feel like there are so many hateful people out there in the world, but if ur able to actually start talking to those in ur community + find that they're actually willing to learn and they don't intend or want to perpetuate harm, then it feels like--okay, so maybe this isn't entirely insurmountable, and i can actually make a difference in my own life + the lives of the people around me. and it also helps u understand where all the misinformation is coming from in the first place, which is important for then taking on larger structural issues.

[sennamybeloved]

3﹕date night.

☆ pairing: akali x seren (s/i)

☆ word count: 856

☆ note: third prompt for my price challenge!! this time featuring akali. my underrated baby.

[ reblogs always appreciated // prompt list can be found here! ]

The rain pours down outside, frigid winds whipping against the side of the apartment complex, rattling the panes in the windows. This sort of weather is very unusual for this time of year. Not so unusually in April, or maybe even May, but June?

The notable lack of warmth has Seren feeling agitated and lazy. Honestly, what's the point of going out at this time of year if you can't wear any of your fun summer clothes? This is lame.

She wears a t-shirt and shorts out of spite, lounging atop her couch with a Playstation controller clutched in her hands. She's half-focusing on the game she's playing—Hotline Miami, she started a new save recently—and half-focusing on what's to come; she's supposed to be going on a date with her girlfriend tonight, but, as guilty as this makes her feel, she really doesn't want to.

She's been frozen on the couch for an hour or two. She's not even dressed. She hasn't even thought about getting dressed. Akali is supposed to be over at 7 o'clock. Is that soon? She doesn't know. Does she even care? Only somewhat.

Over the sound of punchy gunshot sound effects and Crystals by M.O.O.N, Seren suddenly hears a knock on her door.

Oh shit, that's Akali.

Oh shit, the guilt is finally sinking in.

She doesn't say anything for a moment. A quick inventory makes her realize how bad this looks—she's laying on the couch, wearing filthy clothes, playing a video game, right as she's about to get picked up for a date. Wow.

Her throat is closing, but she manages to croak out, "Come in!"

She always leaves her apartment unlocked when Akali is supposed to be coming over. Maybe that'll get her killed one day, but certainly not today, because the person who walks through the door is distinctly not a serial killer but instead her girlfriend. Seren pauses her game, muffling the soundtrack, before sitting up and looking at her.

She's dressed in a half-presentable manner, demonstrating some sort of effort to clean herself up, even if it was a minor one. She's wearing one of her nice band shirts, tucked into a pair of clean mom jeans. Her hair is slicked back into her signature ponytail, except today it looks combed, which is a first. She has a shimmery eyeshadow smeared above her eyes. It looks purple, or blue, Seren can't really tell.

They look each other up and down, noting that one of them is ready and the other clearly isn't, before Akali breaks the silence and greets her, "Hey."

"Hey," Seren replies hoarsely.

"You're going out like that?" Akali asks her, cracking a sarcastic half-smile.

Seren scoffs. "You're one to talk."

Akali circles around the sofa to take a seat beside Seren, who pulls up her legs to give her some room. "I think I look very good tonight, thank you."

"Tonight, yeah." Seren huffs. Akali chuckles but says nothing else. They're cast into a strange, awkward silence, unusual for their relationship

"I can go get something better on," Seren says after a moment. "You just gotta give me a second."

"Yeah, that's fine." Akali hums. "If you let me take over." She nods toward the TV, which still displays Hotline Miami's pause menu, and holds out her hand, gesturing for Seren to pass the controller, which she still grips with one hand.

Seren obliges without question. This level sucks anyway, and she knows that Akali can get her through it.

Akali resumes the level and Seren watches her play for a moment, witnessing her muted frustration as she adjusts to the controls, listening to her curse under her breath every time she dies. She finds this more enjoyable than going to a sushi restaurant, she realizes.

"Do you actually wanna go out tonight?" Seren asks, turning toward Akali.

To her surprise and delight, Akali simply scoffs and says, "Hell no."

Seren laughs. "Holy shit, yeah, me neither."

Akali laughs too, loud and hearty. Her momentary distraction earns her one final death before she pauses the game again, turning toward Seren.

"Thank god. I was really, really hoping you'd say that." She says with a grin. "I'm so fucking lazy."

A wave of relief washes over Seren, easing the tension she's been harboring all day. She chuckles sweetly. "Same!"

Seren sits up fully and Akali scoots closer to her. They sit hip-to-hip, leaning into each other's shoulders. Seren reaches over and grabs Akali's hand, squeezing.

"If you want, I can go dig up my second controller. We can play..." she pauses to think. "Mortal Kombat."

"Mortal Kombat! Hell yeah." Akali exclaims. "You get that set up, I'm gonna go raid your kitchen."

She stands, rushing off to rob Seren of what little snack food she has in the house, and Seren can't help but stare at her fondly as she does. She loves the woman, for all her vulgarness and her messiness. She wouldn't want her any other way. She stands as well and begins searching for that second controller, hoping that it's not busted and, furthermore, has some charge left.

[coconutcows]

Augh Reddit's terrible about that sort of thing, I'm sorry they question your competence over literally any comment... It's very frustrating too how, when you tell them that insult was absolutely unnecessary, they say it's a public forum and they don't NEED to ask for your permission to speak. Even if they're deliberately being an asshole!!! 😒 (That's been my experience, at least.)

Honestly, it doesn't make any sense why people act so put-upon because other people need more explanations- not everyone can glean what the story is trying to say in it's totality; isn't that kinda what fandom's about anyways????

You're not alone either! I didn't know about Anya's sexual assault at Jimmy's hands!! Like yourself, I thought it was domestic violence and the two already had an established romantic relationship, NOT that she was violated and forced to interact with her abuser. Only figured that out after... you guessed it, looking at the comments!

On a more positive note, your posts about Mouthwash made me finally see what all the fuss was about, and it's a very, VERY good game! I've even recommended it to a friend who's very interested in it, and that wouldn't have been possible without your passion! :>

It was very intriguing seeing how the characters interacted and what their thought processes were, all from the perspectives of people who were pretty biased. Anya, Swansea, and Daisuke grew on me the most but all the characters have personality! Speaking of characters, which one(s) are your favorite(s) and why? I'd love to know!

P.S. Congrats on the new lease! May your new home be sturdy and lacking mold!

Ah, I’m sorry to hear people have been so rude to you on Reddit, I don’t know why people are so brazen and self-centred there. Luckily the worst encounter I’ve had was someone calling me ���Smoothbrained” for saying men and women aren’t actually that different about a picture of cis female athletes being called men (Don’t go on the facepalm subreddit, it’s a nasty one). Mostly though I just get people asserting their intelligence over mine, even if they’re just like completely wrong. I once commented that Lagoona Blue from Monster High is amphibious like a frog meaning she can breathe on land and in water. Someone replied to me saying “Frogs can’t breathe in water”, which puzzled me so hard I had to google it because I thought I’d missed out on some big frog news since I was in third grade. Nope, they do breathe underwater, I mean how else would they hibernate right??

And yeah, I’ve always thought that’s what fandom is about!!! Sharing thoughts and opinions and appreciation for something with likeminded people. Attitudes like that are what make people scared to become involved with a fandom community. Interesting way to put it also, about a story’s totality, because I’ve actually been thinking about making a post about how little information we actually get in Mouthwashing, and how what we get is tightly connected to the story it tells without branching out. You know, despite my lack of media literacy lol.

But yeah, the first couple watches I just thought maybe they had a casual thing, or a fling, and Anya wound up pregnant with the more common plot line being She wants to Keep It and He wants her to Get Rid of It, willing to kill her to get his way. Which is unfortunately common irl and realistic enough I didn’t question it. With the lock question I thought she was worried about him attacking or killing her, not that she had already been violated y’know? Im not used to rape and sexual assault being taken seriously, least of all in the horror genre where it’s normally used for shock value.

And that’s huge if true!!!! My thoughts and stuff being the reason someone checks something out is super cool, I’d never think something like that’d happen tbh. I’m super self conscious so I hold back a lot on saying things and making posts about stuff. I’m glad you enjoyed it!!! I couldn’t say why, but you know how people will talk about a piece of media fundamentally changing them as a person?? Mouthwashing is that for me. It scratched something in my brain and it will not let go.

I love all the characters!!! Well, except Jimmy, but even admittedly he is a good well written character. There’s purpose behind hating him rather than just someone people find annoying.

Anya is a sweetheart, she’s trying so hard, she wants to help people, and out of everyone on the ship she’s the loneliest. I hate that she kills herself so much but in a bittersweet way it is nice she went out on her own terms rather than at Jimmy’s hands. We also know so so little about her, everything we know is tied to her womanhood rather than her as a person, and I think most people can see her experience growing up, or know someone who did, with her being meek, quiet, and withdrawn.

Swansea I’ve mentioned in the tags of some reblogs but he reminds me a lot of some of my family members, particularly my deceased Great Uncle, who was very gruff and liked to pick and tease and wouldn’t mince words but had a big heart. Plus an older character willing to go apeshit to protect younger/more vulnerable people is always aces in my book (and the developers seem to have a soft spot for him so they’ve done some fun stuff)

Daisuke really is a little angel with a halo made of hibiscus flowers. He’s miserable there but he’s trying so hard. All he wants is to make people proud and in the end it got him killed.

And Curly, I could write a long block of text for him but I’ll try to keep it shortish. I love Curly, he’s been the image of the game forever. My opinion of him did sully when I realized what happened with Anya, but I can’t hate him. Partially I just grew too attached to post crash Curly, but also some people act as though he literally helped Jimmy with the assault when really all the pre crash stuff took place over a week. I don’t think he was going to Help Jimmy, I think he was just trying to figure out what to do and keep Jimmy calm until they could get to some form of authority. If he knew Jimmy was volatile he wouldn’t want to jostle that bomb, which makes sense as to why he got panicky when Anya told Jimmy alone and when Jimmy decided the best course of action was KILLING THEM ALL IN A CRASH TO HIDE HIS CRIME.

I have so many more thoughts since this game has been rotating in my brain for nearly a month now. There’s so much more there and I really look forward to Wrong Organs future endeavours (also really recommend How Fish is Made and it’s DLC, The Last One and Then Another which features Curly post crash if you haven’t already. AlphaBetaGamer has playthroughs of both those as well)

And thank you!!! 😊 it’s a very nice place and definitely mold free lol

[prancingintheshadows]

The Troubles with the Trolley Problem

I've had this building in me for awhile now, but I need to concisely air the issues with the Trolley Problem. And let me make this clear now, it's not a problem with the concept, it's a problem with how several people use the Trolley Problem

The Problem

For those of you not in the know or need a refresher, the Trolley Problem dictates that 5 people are tied to a track and are about to be hit by a trolley. The trolley cannot be stopped. However, the trolley can be diverted to a different track where only one person is tied up. So the question is, do you actively intervene and get the one person killed or do you take no action and let the five people get killed?

And that's the thing, isn't it? What's the answer? Rather, what's the correct answer? Everyone wants to know what should be done in a scenario like this. However, that's not what the Trolley Problem is actually about. The Trolley 'Problem' isn't a problem to be solved. If we were more accurate, this is a thought experiment. It is merely a question of ethics and philosophy and the decision making process of humans. There is no right answer.

Which leads me to what's frustrating me about the Trolley Problem: The way people use it to prop up their arguments. If you're into a series with an idealistic character who wants to save everyone, you may have had the displeasure of someone using the Trolley Problem as some sort of 'gotcha' as to why idealism is bad actually and that the more cynical characters are right. And it's easy to see why people who like hard characters making hard choices like the Trolley Problem.

It's easy math. 5 deaths are more than 1. There are no outside factors to complicate things. You either pull the lever or you don't. You either reduce the amount of lives lost by sacrificing one person or you don't. Refusing to engage with the lever only ensures that 5 people die. An idealistic character simply cannot handle the Trolley Problem, ergo idealism is naïve and unreasonable.

Yeah, that's bullshit

Math isn't easy

The idea you could weigh lives like this in flawed in two completely opposite ways. In one regard, you could say a life is priceless. If a life is priceless, that makes them have infinite value. Even if you multiply infinity by 5, it's value doesn't change. It is still infinite. Ergo, weighing one life against five other ones doesn't work since they would have the same intrinsic value.

Of course, that's a very idealistic, philosophical angle. A lot of people who use the Trolley Problem as a problem to be solved aren't approaching it from this angle, they are approaching it from an angle where lives can be weighed against each other and you can reasonably choose which one is better to sacrifice to the trolley gods. Ironically though, this way of thinking is fundamentally flawed when trying to come up with an empirical answer to the Trolley Problem too. After all, these aren't faceless NPCs that can be exchanged with one another. These would be people. They'd be diverse in age, gender, race, and job. If the 5 people were all adults and the 1 person was a child, would you still sacrifice the 1? What if the 1 was a doctor? What if the 5 were children to the 1? Attempting to weigh lives of different, varied people with just a glance is a recipe for disaster.

But okay, let's give the Trolley Problem the benefit of the doubt. Let's say... All the people were stuffed into comically oversized mascot costumes, so you can't make out their physical appearance. You just know there are 5 people on one track and 1 on the other and that pulling the lever in front of you will change tracks. Clearly, with this version giving so little information, you must pull the lever since the lives are 'equal' now, right? It unequivocally makes things better in most scenarios, right?

No Ifs, Ands, or Buts

Due to being a thought experiment, the Trolley Problem is extremely rigid in its options. You either pull the lever or you don't and pulling the lever always results in the trolley switching tracks and killing 1 person instead of 5.

Which is just completely unrealistic.

There's a runaway trolley and you're telling me I should try messing with the tracks? That trying to change tracks cannot possibly make things worse? Really? I can't accidentally flip the train and cause an even bigger mess? Pulling the lever works all the time every time?

And then on the flip side, if I can manipulate the track, why can't I attempt derail the train by messing with the railroad switcher to get it to stop and thus save everyone? Is it risky? Yes, but it's an option that I should have.

The Trolley Problem is unconcerned about mechanics and physics. You cannot make things worse. You cannot strive for a better solution. You are given a binary choice the determines everything else. And that is impart why many people use it in their arguments. There are only two absolutes in the problem: do nothing or interfere and lower the death toll by sacrificing someone. People can't argue with an option that reduces death count for no real risk. But how many scenarios, real life or fictional, gives you a binary choice? More over, how many give you a binary scenario where you know the outcome of your actions before you take them?

And that's a big reason why using the Trolley Problem as a talking point for why 'sacrifice for the greater good' and 'kill one to save ten' mindsets over 'save as many as possible' doesn't work. The default Trolley Problem isn't designed to account for anything other than the ethics of accountability. Of course not doing anything will have a higher death count, as the problem is ultimately asking if its okay to save people if you have to get your hands dirty and get someone who wasn't in harm's way killed to do so.

The Trolley Problem is a made up scenario filled with contrivances in order to answer how you view action and accountability, not prove moral superiority about how idealism is childish or treating lives as numbers to be optimized.

[free--therapy]

hii it's anon again! sorry for bothering you so many times 😭

umm so this is related to my other ask that I sent before this about me worrying about it getting as bad as it was two/three years back.

But when I think about it- what can even happen? Like back when it first started three years ago, I had many things I was worried about like COVID and such and since I didn't know what was going on with me, I had very bad health anxiety and stuff.

Now I know none of that is true and it was just thoughts. Now, I'm aware that this is just my mind and these thoughts are not facts at all. I know how to deal with it now even if I may still have problems with it but at least, I know. It's not like I'll suddenly worry about things like back then.

The only thing that can I think of that I actually am still a bit worried about are panic attacks.

But ever since my first panic attack there years ago, I've always sort of had a fear of panic attacks. For me, they always come in the form of my legs shaking and feeling weirdly warm as if my legs have slight fever and having slight stomachache like we do when we're nervous. Nothing else happens except my legs/lower body shaking a lot.

I've only had panic attacks very few times....like only a handful of times that too, mostly in the beginning when I didn't know what it was. and I haven't had one in the past two years. but since I've been so anxious about all sorts of old and new worries recently, I've been worrying about that too.

even in the last two years, there were times when I did worry about panic attacks once in a while but never had them because I would forget about the worry soon after. it used to be more of a passing thought like "what if my legs start shaking?" but I used to be like "yeah as if" and would forget about it.

But since I've been worrying so much about random worries recently, I started remembering all the things I had read on forums and watched on youtube videos about anxiety.  I think I've mentioned this before but a lot of my worries are actually just worries I picked up from seeing other people talk about it in a negative way on forums or videos. It's kinda the same with this too.

Since I've seen videos where people talk about how their anxiety made them completely withdraw from everything, how they had bad panic attacks almost everyday, etc. I've been remembering those posts/videos and worrying "since I've been anxious about so many things recently, what if that happens to me too?" The people also used to talk about how many places made them get anxious and have panic attacks when they visited those places and I started worrying "what if all my favourite places make me remember my anxious worries or start reminding me of my associations? what if it makes me start having panic attacks then too?"

I watched videos of people saying that or read it on forums and all of that two-three years ago and never saw it again but I still remember it because it was so triggering. For me, since most of anxiety is due to reading other people's symptoms that sounded scary to me and then me worrying about it and kind of mimicking those symptoms in a way, so for me mental health disorders and especially anxiety in itself is something that worries me.

So since a few days, I've been worrying about it and since for me, when I get anxious, my legs shake, so I've been so conscious of my legs. As in, I keep subconsciously focusing on my legs almost as if "waiting for it to happen anytime now" and it's so frustrating. When it did happen three years back, it used to be mostly at night only. so I'm especially conscious at night time.

I've been telling myself not to bother with it because the legs shaking themselves isn't scary at all but it makes me catastrophicize and come to all sorts of conclusions like "what if they keep shaking always or any random day?" "What if it starts happening anywhere randomly?" "What if it stops me from enjoying all the things I like?" "What if it gets so bad it makes me depressed?" "What if it makes my life miserable?" Etc. And all those thoughts make me even more worried.

Like my legs shaking isn't that scary in itself but all the what ifs like I mentioned above, they are what makes it scary.

When I did have a therapist two years back, she told me that I had a tendency to catastrophicize a lot and to come to all sorts of negative conclusions and believe them too. She said I had a habit of daydreaming and with these worries, all my free time when I used to daydream shifted to overthinking about those worries. She's right. I do come to extreme negative conclusions about all my worries and get anxious about it but how do I shift perspectives?

About me worrying about panic attacks or my legs shaking, I know it's just a bunch of thoughts too but what do I do? I mean, since I do subconsciously end u focusing on my legs, what do I do?

What I've been trying to remind myself is it's not like just thinking about it or focusing on it is gonna make me break into panic everytime. And even if my legs do start shaking, I don't have to immediately jump to those awful conclusions even then. I mean, even if my legs shake, I can still choose to not let any thoughts related to it bother me. I can choose to keep doing whatever I'm doing, keep enjoying myself without letting any negative thoughts make me feel paralyzed by fear.

I mean, instead of thinking that I have to stop living my life because my legs are shaking or that I've been having so many intrusive or worry thoughts, I can simply continue to enjoy doing what I like and not let myself spiral into those thoughts.

In the end, all of these thoughts without any exceptions, are all simply just "thoughts" and no matter what get conscious of or how complex a thought/worry seems, in the end, it's just a worry and not real. So I don't have to wait for any thought to go away or for my legs to stop shaking (even before they start shaking to begin with), either way, I can keep continuing my life.

Because one thing I've constantly noticed is that I keep thinking of the worst case scenario for any and every worry and then try to think what I'll do if and when that happens, how I'll get over it, etc. But instead of waiting for something bad to happen or instead of waiting for the anxiety to make me feel worried about something or for me to panic again, I can simply let go.

Because I keep waiting for worse things that trigger me to happen, like waiting for things that make me most anxious to happen and thinking of them as "problems" and trying to solve them before they even happen. Even though, there's no certainty that it will happen to begin with so why bother at all? I'm just getting super worried about the uncertainty of all the worries and that's exactly what anxiety is so I know I'm fine, I'm safe and that I'll be okay.

What do you think? Did you ever have a fear of panic attacks? And if you did, how did you get over it? Like, how do I stop worrying about it before it even happens? And if it does happen, how do I deal with it? What do I tell myself?

It's like whatever I read those people struggling with on those forums and videos, I started worrying about it and recently I've been thinking about it again and worrying about things getting like back then again.

I know it can't because of many reasons. Time is different, it isn't the lockdown, I know and manage myself better, I have awareness even if I get anxious, it's just better and I know that deep down.

But still my anxiety recently and my mind not having any thing to obsessively worry about has been trying to make me feel as if it's like back then or as if it'll get like back then again.

Anon,

You are in such a better place today than you were back then. There are so many new things that you've learned since then that you didn't know back then and that alone is enough to convince yourself that things are different and won't be the same (in a good way)

As for those old youtube videos and forums (the forums especially), you have to realize that you were talking to other people with irrational thoughts too and that their irrational thoughts will only fuel yours for the worst. It's not really a healthy environment to be around others who don't know how to tame their thoughts either as they can enable one another, and it's really unhelpful in the end. Going off on your own to figure out what can work for you, away from that environment is definitely for the best. I understand the need for community though and feeling validated, so I get why they're appealing.

I do come to extreme negative conclusions about all my worries and get anxious about it but how do I shift perspectives?

In order to shift perspectives there are many ways to go about it. Thinking positively or assuming something will go right is a good way to start. I know it's hard because your mind is stuck in a negativity bias, but a lot of the time our negative assumptions and conclusions are usually wrong. I have a whole topic on assumptions if you'd like to check that out. Another way to shift perspectives is to ask other people what they think about a certain situation. Everyone assumes that everyone thinks the same way that they do or they're not even aware that other people think differently, so it helps when you get perspectives from someone else. Even just taking your first (negative) assumption and finding something positive can help. That is something I do with a lot of the patients I deal with at the clinic I work at. A lot of them are looking for help with their health and whenever I'm doing exams with them, they'll say something negative and I'll give them a more positive or realistic perspective as a way to get them thinking differently. It helps to find new people who have a more positive outlook on life because they'll help you think differently. It really makes a huge difference.

In your case with the panic attacks, you know the signs, but you also know how much power you have over your mind now and how far you've come since those days of having them. I wouldn't worry too much about them coming back around again, however if you do feel like you're going back down that road, recognize that it's happening and that you know you'll get through whatever happens. You know the signs and you know what you can do after the fact if it happens again. You can even try some self-soothing techniques or even the distress tolerance skills I mentioned in a previous ask. Deep breathing or other breathing techniques can also help to regulate your nervous system so you don't end up going into a full-fledged panic attack. There are definitely a lot of things you can try to help stop it from happening now that you know what to look for.

[potatoes83]

The red white and blue whirls around faster and faster as we enter... THE SPIN CYCLE 🇺🇸.

Look, I'm not quite a "burn the system down never vote for any incumbent" sort, at least not yet, but I am sick to death of settling for mediocrity. This idea that It HAD to be him, because *insert whatever hysteria is being ginned up by the media today* will happen if we don't. It was what, 15 votes, and even then he barely got it. And for what? We replaced an elitist representative from California... with an elitist representative from California.

I'm disappointed in Jim Jordan, as an aside. Now, this isn't group thinking an echo chamber, you don't have to agree with every single thing someone says all the time, but blaming the Senate because none of the legislation that the speaker brought to the floor has gone anywhere, my brother in Christ, you're better than that. No shit. Of course it didn't go anywhere, and you knew it was a non-starter the day you voted for it, you can't count that as a win. You can't count yourselves as victims.

I didn't necessarily have anything for or against Kevin McCarthy, but I do think there were better choices. I think there are better choices. The GOP does this every time, we can't go supporting the right wing of our party, you know, the people who are being voted in by droves through grassroots action and therefore representing the actual will of the people, oh no, we have to cater to the centrists. The ones who are going to vote blue no matter who because orange man bad, all you are doing is alienating your base. You're not getting votes across the aisle, you're just pissing off the people who elected you to represent them.

But the bastard flat out lied. You cannot call it a clean spending bill when you have a back door deal to fund Ukraine on the very next vote even if the government is shut down. That's not cool first and foremost. But he also said no more continuing resolutions, no more spending bills, we're going to pass a budget. Do you realize the government has not actually passed a budget since 1998? As in we are currently running on a system that was established in the days of dial-up internet, Nokia brick cell phones, floppy disks, hell's bells, they were still building new shopping malls at that point. That's the last time we actually had a budget, we've just been poking and prodding it along with spending bills and continuing resolutions and omnibuses and all that shit since then. For a literal quarter century! When the GOP took over the speaker's gavel, like every time, THINGS WERE GOING TO BE DIFFERENT...

Imagine the frustration from those who dared to dream that it actually would be. Come meet the new boss, same as the old boss, yeah?

So good riddance, and I don't really know who's going to get the speakership at this point. Sadly, after 40 years on this earth, 22 of them voting, I'm just about worn down to where it doesn't matter. It'll be another Kevin McCarthy, of course; someone you'd never really heard of, another establishment rino with a nice tie. Chumming along with the status quo same as it ever was. But at least some good may yet come of this.

The mainstream media is already ginning up the "Civil War in the GOP", the chaos, how can they be focusing on all this infighting when the needs of the American people are being ignored, yadda yadda yadda. The left is doing the same thing, portraying themselves as the adults in the room because they couldn't imagine doing anything out of lockstep with the party. But by God, for the first time in a long time, actions in Washington actually had consequences. Of course the left wasn't going to save McCarthy, and with the media in their pocket, they get to exploit how those crazy Ultra MAGA Trump people have doomed democracy this day, or whatever the hell the headline will be on the New York Times this morning... but for those few who aren't taken in by such charades, a message was sent loud and clear.

It's probably too much to hope that the days of making a bunch of bullshit campaign promises and then going back on every one of them when you get in office are over, I'm far too jaded to be that dewy-eyed about the matter. That's wishful thinking if it's anything. But when you buy votes by making promises, and you go back on that word, today proved, at least once, that you can't get away with that. That a man's word is still supposed to mean something. That you might actually be held accountable for your actions. That you CAN actually be held accountable for your actions.

I don't know if we're going to look back on this day as a catalyst when everything finally turned around and got better, or if it was just a one-off that'll be squished like the tea party, but at least for tonight, I will sleep well knowing that some form of justice actually prevailed, and you really can't ask for too much more than that. 🥔

[ianthe-is-a-bitch-and-i-love-her]

Hi! So this is not a suggestion of wlw media (unfortunately) but a related question. I went on a rather extensive search for more wlw media about a year ago, specifically because I wanted good wlw books in my life, and very quickly got very frustrated by how many books were getting recommended (in lists, posts, videos) by people who hadn't even read them, just recommended bc they'd heard they were wlw, and I learned the long and hard way that just because a story is queer does not mean it's good. Part of this may be my particular taste, but I generally feel like in queer spaces, queer books get a lot of slack simply for "having representation", regardless of whether they actually have an interesting story, good characters or good worldbuilding (or good writing, but that's quite subjective anyway, as are, to an extent, the other aspects as well). So I spent a long time plowing through thoroughly mediocre reading experiences and getting progressively more frustrated.

All this to say, I'm wondering what your stance is on this, and whether you have specific recommendations of wlw books (aside from GtN obviously) that you personally enjoyed more than others?

(i hope this isn't too convoluted a question, your post asking for recs just sort of triggered this whole thought process and I apparently have a lot of residual frustration about this hahah it's like... yeah I want to buy every book that people tell me is "sci-fi and wlw" or "fantasy and wlw" but like... that doesn't automatically result in good media y'know?)

((second side note, I could probably recommend a LOT of wlw books that didn't work for me personally but might work for other people, but I would always want to add qualifiers to this, to explain why I didn't enjoy a given book or who I think might be a better target audience - I find it really difficult to give a recommendation that solely consists of a title and an author, if that makes sense??))

Oh, I totally get what you mean. Queer is not a genre, but there are few enough books with good representation (especially wlw) that they all seem to get lumped together sometimes without any consideration for what they're actually about.

That being said, I really like seeing myself represented in media, and I really like reading, so I've been wading through every recommendation list I can find. There are plenty on those lists I don't end up actually reading, after looking over summaries and reviews and deciding that it does really sound like what I'd enjoy. What would honestly be ideal for me would be if we could just put, like, a sticker or something on books that say "bi woman main character" or whatever, so that I could just start with my preferred genre and keep an eye out for queer books in that genre, rather than starting with "queer" and then having to filter for something with subject matter I actually like.

And I'm happy to provide some more detailed recommendations of my favorite wlw books! But I want to offer a few caveats about my personal tastes, because they are far from universal. I don't generally like books where the crux of the plot is homophobia or one of its byproducts, like a coming out narrative. I want the story to be about something else. It's a big reason I steer away from modern settings - that kind of narrative seems more common there. However, I also don't enjoy queer books that are completely free of societal pressures like homophobia either. For better or worse, prejudice has played a big part in how I've come into my own identity and how I navigate it in the real world. When that's completely absent from queer fiction, it means that I'm not going to see that aspect of my identity reflected in the characters, and that makes it less satisfying for me. I'm also partial to extremely flawed women doing the best they can and hurting a lot of people and themselves in the process. Finally, I love logistics and political maneuvering. I like stories with a lot of detailed systems and plots that depend on maneuvering through those systems elegantly.

All that being said, my favorite book series, possibly even a little ahead of TLT right now, is The Masquerade, the first book of which is The Traitor Baru Cormorant. It is heavy on politics intrigue with a focus on cultural and economic manipulations, and it follows an incredibly bright and ruthless young lesbian as she navigates the hierarchies of the nation that colonized her homeland and attempts to bring it down. It as an incredibly dark series, with a lot of tragedy, imperialism, prejudice, and extremely dark grey characters (seriously - the most sympathetic characters include several mass murderers, an anti-rebellion counter agent, a military torturer, and a professional lobotomist), but with some absolutely beautiful world building and cultures and enormous ideas about all sorts of systemic issues. It's incredibly well-written, the characters are extremely compelling, and it is astonishingly funny in some places in ways that I really enjoyed. And it's not finished yet, but the most recent book does end on a real high note.

The next one I'd recommend is The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo, which is a standalone novel. It follows the life and career of a fictitious Hollywood actress in the form of a series of interviews she gives to her biographer. Again, we have a morally grey woman who hurt a lot of people in her pursuit of fame and regrets very little of it. But she's absolutely compelling, and the ways she navigates around the prejudices and power structures of her industry - sexism and homophobia and racism, abuses and betrayals, all in pursuit of glory and, eventually, happiness - is absolutely thrilling to read.

The final book I'll recommend is Ship of Smoke and Steel. This book and its sequels are true fantasy, magic system and all, but it's an unconventional take. This first book's protagonist starts as one of the morally darkest characters I've ever come to consider unambiguously good. The series as a whole follows to sisters born into incredible poverty, with the older using a life of crime to finance a more stable life for the younger. Their journeys parallel each other - one learns how to be cruel and callous in pursuit of a higher purpose, the other learns she doesn't always have to be. The magic system enables an excellent examination of the limits of individual vs systemic power, and the series as a whole is very interested in examining class as an axis of oppression, over and beyond anything else. I have glibly described the first book as, "The Maze Runner if the Maze Runner was queer and made any fucking sense."

I hope that helps, and thanks for the ask!

[likebranchesonatree]

why is harry talking slow a bad thing? can you explain?

Hi. I think you might've misunderstood me. Harry often talking at a slow pace is NOT a bad thing at all. It's just how he talks. What IS bad, however, is several things: 1) That 'talking slow' is seen as a sign of being dumb (You could say 'He's a little slow' if you wanted to rudely insinuate that somebody may have some sort of learning deficiency or sth). Also, as you can see in live videos, his pace when he talks at concerts, for example, is pretty regular and we don't know what he sounds like talking without a camera in his face. Him taking his time may as well just be so that he can think about what he wants to say (a GOOD thing). 2) That sometime back in the early 1D years, PR people realized that he sometimes talked slower that the other members and used this as a marketing strategy. 'Being slow' equalled 'Being adorable', equalled 'kind', equalled 'being the cute baby you could safely have a crush on'. This changed somewhat when he entered the frat boy era but the stigma of 'being slow' has stuck to this day. Now, this is bad because due to him being branded as slow, people did not take him seriously. This is paraphrased and not my opinion but: "Oh yeah he just rambles a bunch of nonsense, I stopped after the fifth uuuuhm but he's cute, isn't he?" People simply did not have the patience to truly listen to what he was saying bc they were being told that there was no substance to it anyway. So how does this relate to other things?: Due to people quickly being accustomed to not really having to listen to what the 'cute dummy was saying', they essentially took over management's role of having to silence him. Because if they aren't listening to what Harry says anyway there's no need to tell him to not talk about things. Now this is 'helped' by the fact that Harry tends to talk in a very not-straightforward way. You really DO NEED to listen to what he says to grab what he means. Of fucking course when he says the movie is good bc it feels like a movie that's not literally what he means. This boy talks in LAYERS and yeah he rambles sometimes or puts like 5 different ideas into one sentence but that's not bad if you just listen and take the time to decode. Nowadays with social media and everything, people are even less inclined to think about things and just take everything at face value due to a multitude of reasons (mostly bc it gives them meme material). So now we have a deadly combination: - an incredibly intelligent, eloquent and well-read man that tends to talk at a slower and maybe harder to follow pace and register - the public opinion of him being dumb (not helped by the rumour that he didn't finish school, which is false) - people who know nothing about Harry but want their five minutes of twitter fame To be honest I couldn't care less about the DWD thing bc it doesn't really matter in the long run but this mentality also comes into play when he talks about incredibly complex topics such as with mp or general things about sexuality and related topics. People simply wont LISTEN to him and that's partly why he has managed to out himself like several times already and it was never a really big thing. Because they don't rust him to actually say something of importance (that he's 'just some overrated popstar' doesn't help). This is why we have these queerbating accusations, bc people take sth that he says, don't take the time to understand what he means and twist it to their liking.

I don't want to make any assumptions about how this is used against him nowadays but his team are also doing nothing to counteract it, so... Sorry this turned out so long but this topic really gets me going bc it's just so frustrating to see when people don't realise that they are compliant in a really harmful action against someone and instead use it to make fun of them. TLDR: in believing the rumour that H is dumb, people are effectively silencing him bc they don't grasp what he truly means, which is a strategy that has been used since the early 1D days to keep him in check.

[bluemoondust]

My twst oc boy's birthday was only two days ago and I wanted to just do something for it. I at least want to get some stress off my back so here's just a short something for him. His name is Cosmo and this is what he looks like (the blonde one). Hope you like him!

Warning(s): Clingy Behavior, Obsessive Behavior, Slight Pain (just a strong grip on darling's wrist), Mentions of Yelling, Attempted Kidnapping to actual Kidnapping

Notes: Darling is not MC in this; just is in the same boat as them, Everyone is 18+

You knew he wasn't that air headed from the second time you encountered him. He was just as cheery and naive as the Scarabia Dorm Leader, yet something was amiss as you heard more whispers along the hallways. He was a Spellman, but that didn't mean anything to you. How would you know if this world was so new to you? What did that even mean?

He was so eager to hang around you and your fellow friends, like he was starving for this sort of interaction. He'd always compliment and playfully tease you, but sometimes those smiles didn't reach his ruby red eyes. Maybe you're just imagining things. Cosmo had never done anything to even cause this sort of unease. He may be whatever others say he is, but that's just because of a name, right?

"You won't leave me, will you?" It was initially just an act of his whiny attitude when he got all pouty because of his elder brother's backhanded insults. The two would always get into petty arguments and Cosmo would complain if his brother got away with it. It isn't fair as he puts it. Still, now that question seems more alarming as time passes.

... and everything still seemed so normal and at peace.

You didn't have time for this. All this speculation was exhausting your mind and body. Sleep was more difficult as days pass and strange dreams woke you up. They weren't the usual mirror dreams you'd get. Maybe it was a sign, but how could you tell? A yawn passes your lips as you get up for the day. Might as well pull through and possibly get a nap in between lessons so you can avoid the chance of passing out in the hallways. That'd be a sight for others... And bothersome.

You've decided to rest in the library during break, letting Grim hang out with Ace and Deuce without you. All that was needed was some time for yourself. This was one of the only places you could get that.

Cosmo was much fussier than usual. Even more clingy as well as he spotted you sitting alone. He immediately vented out his frustrations of his brothers and other students; they were all so annoying and can't let him be at peace. "Not you guys though. You're very dear to me and I know you'll never upset me." It was supposed to be something of a way to cheer himself up, telling himself he had friends in you all no matter what.

"My brother doesn't like you. Because you're magicless and still manage to attend the school." Cosmo's voice was eerily monotone as he changed the subject, immediately making you hyper aware of where you were.

He blows air out of his mouth in a huff, "I don't care though. His pride is just wounded because of all the hard work he did to get here." A smirk creeped onto his lips. "It was so satisfying to see the look on his face."

You didn't know how to respond; couldn't tell if he was being serious about this conversation or just poking fun at his brother. His arm suddenly made it's way around your shoulder and his weight leaned onto your body.

"He's foolish and a complete pompous bastard." Cosmo sounded... Playful, but there was an edge to his voice. "Do you know what he told me this morning as I left my dorm?"

"No... What did he say?"

A soft but sharp laugh answered you as Cosmo displayed a tight smile. "He said you all are a bad influence on me. Especially you." A scoff. "What does he know?"

The half hug was suddenly becoming suffocating but that didn't seem to come to the blonde's attention. He was so warped up in every negative thought he had. You believed it was time to cut this conversation short before things escalated. It wasn't something you wanted to fear to happen, but there have been other times where your safety was threatened in this school. With a quick but gentle shove, you pried Cosmo off of you. Of course this startles him a little, until he gives you those puppy dog eyes.

"Oh, is it time to go already. Aw... I wanted some more time with you."

You did your best to push down the unease, mustering up your best smile. "Yeah, can't help that time flies, you know?"

Cosmo chuckles bitterly at your words. "Mhm. But... Maybe we can skip? Please? I'll make it up to you. I'll get notes from the class so we don't miss anything."

"Sorry Cosmo, but I can't afford to skip. Grim needs me there after all."

The young man blinks before pouting in defeat. "Fine, fine. You win. You're lucky that I like you~"

It doesn't mean anything. He always teases like this.

"Ah, well, I better get going. See you later." With a wave, you dash off to ensure you get to class on time. The whole conversation kept replying in your head as you felt his burning stare onto your back while your form got farther away.

"Of course."

Where the hell is this? You frantically scanned the area to see that you're nearing the woods next to the school. Everything was dark and crickets were chirping. Nighttime. How? A million thoughts raced through your head, but one excruciatingly loud one told you to head back to your room. You need a place of comfort to gather your thoughts for now—

"Aw man. I knew I shouldn't have strained my vocals too much."

"Cosmo?" Leave. Run. You had to get away. Seeing him and the desire to sprint was one thing you were sure of. Him being here was an obvious red flag. But why couldn't you move? Don't just stand there!

All you could do was listen to him hum cheerfully like you weren't absolutely terrified at this moment. "This is the farthest I've taken you out tonight. Guess singing without a water break is quite bothersome. Ugh..." He looked annoyed but he quickly shifted his expression to one of joy.

"But at least I managed to place a teensy curse on you before you could process anything! Aren't I resourceful! Vil always did tell me I should be more prepared in various situations."

You weren't listening. You wanted to scream, do anything other than be near him at this moment. Why you?

He crept closer, touching your face as he sighed in content. His forehead was then pressed against yours. "I wish we could stay like this forever... Just the two of us." Cosmo grabbed your wrists.

"Cosmo, please stop. This is wrong. We... We can talk this out. Just let me go."

He laughed at you. "Oh no, I can't do that my sweet thing." His increasing grip scared you as his smile remained but his tone shifted. "I can't afford to lose you. You're my everything. The only one who listens and cares. My brother be damned!"

It was the first time you've seen him express rage. All those pouts, whines, complaints were replaced with sneers, growls, and yelling. This might scare you a little less than his eerie calm and joyful self, but it made you flinch nonetheless. You hoped that this was all just some cruel nightmare from the lack of sleep.

"I'm so sorry... It'll be alright once you get you past that point. Then, you won't ever have a reason to leave me! You won't leave me," His voice lowered in a serene, but threatening melody, "Will you (Come To Me)?"

[traingendertranswreck]

no yeah absolutely! especially in community spaces like comments on fic or public posts. what we say privately between friends is usually a different situation, but in this instance, this feels very in line with "joking" about being stupid/ugly/talentless/useless/etc, or even "joking" about killing yourself. when you say or hear something enough times, you eventually start believing it, at least subconsciously. it's not doing anyone any favors, no matter where you say it or who you say it to.

on a similar note, everyone's definitely seen at least one post about how someone started doing something ironically—saying poggers, crackshipping two characters, listening to a band they didnt like, etc.—and somewhere along the way, it stopped being ironic and started being genuine. it's not intentional, but it happens all the time. words matter, and such.

coupled with how much of an active and constant threat christian hegemony is to, well.. everybody, and how prevalent purity culture is becoming, both in fandom spaces and in society in general, this seems like one of those phrases that just isn't worth it to play with in this way.

theres nuance to it, ofc. queer people flipping the hell narrative on its head can be affirming and positive, e.g. lil nas x and the whole seducing and then killing the devil and taking over as ruler of hell thing. that is a subversive storyline that takes the power out of the source material, turns a punishment into a success of sorts. its nullifying the venom. its playing with the same concept/phrase, yes, but it's contextually more complete in its rejection of the original condemnation than just stating that you're going to hell for engaging with "impure" media.

i think its also worth mentioning that a significant amount of people who find solace in fandom, especially queer people, have christianity-sourced trauma. a friend of mine who is a lesbian and a cult survivor makes art that is expressive of her inherent truths and desires that she was conditioned from birth to believe made her innately bad and fated to go to hell. ive spent days and days sitting with her and supporting her through mental crises brought on by friends and strangers alike making "joking" implications about the morality of her existence. i can guarantee that if someone left a comment like that on one of her stories, it would mean days at minimum of mental anguish and instability for her. if you're "going to hell" just for reading it, what the fuck are you implying is going to happen to her for writing it? it may have been just a joke to you, but we as a community are at least generally aware that it's not acceptable to joke about common triggers for abuse victims. eternal damnation as a result of 'impurity' is a very common trigger for a very prevalent strain of abuse victims.

it's also just. really bothersome and offensive to me as a jew. xtianity is not the default worldview or culture, and it's very alienating, exhausting and frustrating to have to constantly assert and defend my existence as a jew against this perpetual tidal wave of xtian assimilationism. i would like to be able to actually escape into my escapist fantasy hobby. hell is a strictly christian concept. im very, very tired. can we please not do this anymore?

the fact that “i’m going to hell for this” hasn’t dropped out of the lexicon for writing/reading smut pisses me off so much

[daily-fantasy-ideas-personal]

I got a couple of questions about your magic system if you wanna hear them

If the force and will of magic has the ability to speak:

a) would people who cannot vocalise their spells actually be ok with allowing it to do so for them, isn't this a loss of agency? having to rely on an external force, that may or may not have a will of its own, to cast things for you.

b) would the force and will of magic not be frustrated by being essentially constantly "spoken over" by casters who can vocalise their spells?

and if you take suggestions: it might be an interesting idea to reframe spellcasting from a vocal medium to one about conversing with magic. if a spell were a conversation between the caster and the force and will of magic then it wouldn't have to be vocal, it could be any form of conversation, from vocal conversation to hand movements to even just like, sending magic a text or letter, or making art, or playing music or basically anything that can be a conversation. it gives more agency to both people and to magic itself.

Hi thanks for the ask, this gave me a lot to think about (which is why it took so long for me to respond, and why the response is so long).

Firstly, its not quite the force and will of magic itself that is doing the speaking, it's these weird semi-physical incarnations of it that just started existing one day.

Some of these incarnations are people, some are creatures, some are plants, some are objects.

All have a voice of some kind, and most eventually grow to have their own wills and desires separate from magic's own.

A)

I didn't really think of that when coming up with the post but yeah suppose it probably would.

At the very least someone having a voice appear in their mind while they themselves cannot synthesize voices in their own mind would probably be quite unpleasant and off-putting.

Also the incarnations themselves don't have a choice in saying the words, the bizarre and incomprehensible mechanisms of magic will force them to speak.

Now a majority are eager and willing to speak, thinking of it as just helping out. But some definitely aren't, because it's effectively an involuntary reaction which mentally would most likely reduce their feeling of individuality.

And the force and will of magic itself isn't removing peoples agency or forcing it's incarnations to speak maliciously, it is just unable to comprehend how it's actions could potentially be uncomfortable or harmful.

This is because it operates like a very basic organism or an AI given the orders to achieve a goal while disregarding everything else. The goal being continuing to cause magic to occur.

B)

The force and will itself won't get mad, but I think if a incarnation of it got stuck in a piece of spell casting equipment it's possible they would get a bit peeved at not getting to say the cool magic words.

As for the conversational style of magic suggestion, that's a pretty cool idea!

I haven't actually solidly written anything out yet but there are multiple ways doing magic in my setting several of which don't involve using someone's voice, including: dancing, enchanted cards, and using a tool to carve spell symbols into air itself.

And while it's not exactly the same I've had some ideas about magical power being shared through contracts and deals with entities, which is sort of like your suggestion but its with a middleman instead of magic itself.