#and maul... okay my opinion about him is mixed

[limbushusbandry]

heyyyy so I have a sinclair, right? and I'm wondering if it's... un-ethical to raise this one. He seems a lot more aggressive than my other Sinclairs, but a lot more distressed??? and he's got this weird mark on his head that wont wash off.....

depending on the mark, it may be an "one who shall grip" breed, also colloquially known as "gripclairs". i have really... mixed opinions about gripclairs. i havent owned but i've heard horror stories about people who have. from what i can tell of my own research, gripclairs were bred to almost be hybrids of the popular domestic sinclair species and the practically feral kromer species to create an animal that would be extremely loyal, strong and protective. they succeeded at that part, but they basically failed everywhere else because they're absolute wrecks. the typical sinclair is pretty nervous and very clingy, with separation anxiety being a common problem, plus there can sometimes be issues with multiple species of limbi, usually a heathcliff or a ryoshu, essentially stepping all over the sinclair. they usually wont protest for awhile, but the problem can easily bubble until the normally docile sinclair will snap and maul the other animal. (i actually had this happen to me once when i was a child, when a sinclair of mine got fed up with a heathcliff and literally chomped down on his head, my mom sprained her arm trying to get him out, thankfully he was okay though.) now imagine all of these problems but dialed up to an eleven. i think the best path of action is to keep a close eye on the sinclair at all times, and try to snip any problems in the bud before they can become an issue. they benefit very well from having lots of bones for him to chew on and an anti-anxiety vest or bed to help him feel better. playing music while your away may help soothe your sinclair, plus making sure to always play it when you go out will basically pavlov him into getting used to it and not going crazy while you're gone. i wish you luck!

[lasats-are-lovely]

Okay...

Now that I've finished Star Wars: Rebels and have actually gotten the chance to form my own opinion and find my own problems with the show, here is my biggest problem with it:

It wasn’t long enough :)

[dindjarindiaries]

10 Underrated Quotes from Season 2 of The Mandalorian

As previously seen with season one, I’m here with another list of underrated quotes from The Mandalorian—this time, from season two. I’m going to highlight some of my favorite quotes from the season or quotes that stick out to me and why I think they’re noteworthy.

I don’t own any rights to content from The Mandalorian and, if you haven’t watched season two yet, potential spoilers are ahead!

1. “Pay attention when a superior addresses you.” (Chapter 15: The Believer)

While this scene certainly isn’t underrated, I believe this line spoken by Valin Hess when he finally catches Din Djarin’s attention by the Imperial terminal deserves some reflection. It’s interesting to think about how responding to Hess’ first call of “Trooper” is something Djarin just... wouldn’t think to do, or is something he thought he could get away with. It seems that Mandalorians, while they value their leadership, don’t focus on hierarchical structures in their society, so Djarin isn’t used to having to obey orders like that. It’s even worse that he has to deal with this unfamiliar situation without his helmet for the first time since he was a child. It really draws our attention to how little Djarin knows about the Empire and other organizations outside of his covert.

2. “This is the Way.” (Chapter 11: The Heiress)

I think many of us can agree that the first time this statement is uttered in this episode, we’re less than pleased about it, thanks to Bo-Katan’s ridiculing tone. When it happens later on, however, there’s so much meaning packed behind the words. First, from Bo-Katan, who has witnessed Mando’s bravery firsthand and has likely realized how wrong she was making assumptions about him based off his covert and his traditions. In return, Mando’s response of the phrase is strained. Why? Well, it’s up to interpretation—but to me, I think it’s because Mando’s in awe of the idea of these Mandalorians who have already proven their abilities to him actually coming to respect him and the Way he’s known ever since he was a child. It was a great moment of reconciliation.

3. “Is he speaking? Do you... understand him?” (Chapter 13: The Jedi)

Something I love about this line in particular is the way it’s delivered. There’s such desperation concealed behind Mando’s modulator that tells us so much about what he’s been thinking while pacing the forest floor nervously. This desperation also tells us how eager he’s been to communicate with his child. Mando and Grogu have been together for a long time, now, and we know they’ve had plenty of one-sided conversations. I’m sure Mando has longed to know what Grogu’s been thinking in return, and now that he might have an opportunity to, we can really hear that sheer curiosity and desperation in his voice with this line he offers to Ahsoka.

4. “Jet back, you’re faster that way.” (Chapter 12: The Siege)

I’m sure we all have our mixed opinions about the season one Nevarro crew, but this moment in particular really strikes the depth of their friendship and companionship. Once they’ve all heard about Moff Gideon’s return and his request to get the child once again, there’s no doubt in anyone’s minds that Mando wouldn’t be going back for him immediately. Even though the job isn’t completely done and Greef, Cara, and Mythrol all still need a way out, they don’t even try to ask for Mando’s help. Instead, Cara insists that he gets back as fast as he can, even if that means the three of them don’t make it out themselves. I really love how that shared understanding and dedication to the child in all situations shows their deep friendship amongst the trio (and Mythrol).

5. “I’ve spent much time on Tatooine. I never saw a Mandalorian there.” (Chapter 9: The Marshal)

Mando’s response to Gor Karesh insisting that he knows of a Mandalorian on Tatooine could potentially be telling us more than we’re aware of. As far as we know, Mando’s only been to Tatooine once—and it was only for two days, tops. But here, he’s saying he’s “spent much time” there, which means it’s possible that Mando lived on Tatooine for a time while the Bounty Hunter’s Guild still operated out of there. If you think about it more, Mando knew exactly where to go for some work in Chapter 5, another hint that there’s more to Mando’s time on Tatooine than we’re aware of. The same thing could be said about his knowledge of Tusken and his friendship with the Sand People. Any time we get a potential hint of Mando’s backstory, I’m excited about it!

6. “Am I under arrest?” (Chapter 10: The Passenger)

This line comes quickly in the midst of Mando’s conversation with the New Republic pilots in Chapter 10, but I really love it. These few words say a lot about Mando’s character and how he responds to praise. He’s just been told all about his heroics in Chapter 6, when he risked his own life for Lieutenant Davan and reprimanded Mayfeld, Xi’an, and Burg—and when asked whether it was true, Mando offers no confirmation. He doesn’t even own up to his good acts. Instead, he simply acts this question, remaining the practical man we know him to be. This truly shows us the humble nature of Mando and how he tries his best to focus on the present rather than dwelling on things he’s done in the past, good or bad.

7. “... talent without training is nothing.” (Chapter 16: The Rescue)

On the surface, this seems like a very practical statement that many Jedi make throughout the series (see Ahsoka talking to Mando in Chapter 13 and Obi-Wan talking to Luke in Episode IV: A New Hope). When you think about it more, especially in context, you might be able to see Luke hinting at something much deeper. Luke heard Grogu’s cry for help from the Seeing Stone where it’s very possible Grogu was talking about his desire to protect his father by strengthening his abilities. Luke knows all too well what happens when you abandon training in an attempt to protect those you love—as for him, it didn’t go well. Yoda tried to warn him but he didn’t listen. Now that he’s learned his lesson, Luke can offer this wisdom to a Grogu who wants to keep his father safe. He knows that training first will then allow Grogu to protect himself and his father to his heart’s content, just as Luke was better able to protect his friends in Episode VI after he finished his training.

8. “Okay, I’m gonna protect you.” (Chapter 14: The Tragedy)

The scene in which this line is delivered is what truly establishes this episode as a tragedy. Mando’s tried three times to break through Grogu’s Force-field—not because he wasn’t thinking, but because he was so desperate—and now he has to come to terms with the fact that he’ll only hurt himself more if he keeps trying it again and again. Mando’s voice is pretty shaky if you listen to it closely enough in these lines, reluctant to leave his child atop the mountain alone but eager to protect him somehow. We know Mando doesn’t like to feel helpless, but we can sense he feels that way in this moment. He doesn’t even know if Grogu can hear him, yet he keeps speaking to him with such fierce protectiveness and reassurance. This is a promise he doesn’t fall through with, even if Grogu does fall into the Imperials’ hands for a time.

9. “Give it to me.” (Chapter 15: The Believer)

This is the moment where we all really knew what was about to go down. What I love about this quote is that Mando says it with no remorse. He says it firmly, insisting upon doing whatever it takes to get those coordinates and get to Grogu. He’s already made up his mind. Despite the fact he gave his word earlier about not showing his face, Mando’s going to do what he has to for his son. The firm way this line is delivered proves that, especially when he shifts from taking a backseat to Mayfeld to taking charge again as he pulls the data stick right from Mayfeld’s grip. I just really love Mando’s determination in this scene, despite the circumstances.

10. “I’ll see you again. I promise.” (Chapter 16: The Rescue)

Do I particularly think this line is underrated? No, not the direct meaning of it. But when you watch Star Wars Rebels and think more about the genius of Dave Filoni, there’s a whole new layer of meaning attached to these words. For those who may not have watched the show yet (you definitely should!), Kanan and Hera are two people who care very much for each other (wink wink) who once had to exchange a goodbye very similar to Mando and Grogu. Kanan was about to go on a very dangerous mission without Hera, unsure of what would happen to him, when he delivered these words: “We’ll see each other again. I promise.” This is almost exactly what Mando says to Grogu in the face of their temporary separation. The good news is Kanan and Hera did get to see each other again—but Kanan was changed forever. Will this happen with Mando or Grogu? It’s possible. But it’s just another one of those moments that makes me yell “FILONI!” in Darth Maul style.

[crackinwise]

This is a silly idea that wouldn't leave my head about Mondo being hesitant and Taka knowing exactly what he's about. Also I apologize to Leon.

The mixing of classes 77 & 78 in the rec room on a weekend should have been a chaotic party, but there was a certain Moral Compass in attendance who'd already vetoed many of the more rowdy ideas put forth.

The current spectacle was Nekomaru arm-wrestling Sakura. The intense screaming from the two made it sound more exciting than it was: they'd been locked in the same position for like five minutes now. At least Hina was happy cheering on Sakura's straining bicep.

Bored with it, Leon moved his eyes away from the stalemate to narrow them instead at Kiyotaka, who was being felt-up as he watched the match. Okay, not felt-up. That'd actually be fun. No, Mondo just had his hand on the hall monitor's upper back, thumb moving in slow circles.

Watching the couple in public was also a disappointment, in Leon's opinion. They'd been officially together a few months and their rules for "PDA" seemed arbitrary to anyone observing. They could look at each other in ways that'd make the most romantic person gag, but wouldn't even hold hands. It appeared Mondo was only allowed to touch Taka from the shoulder-blades up. Or that's all he had the guts to do, maybe.

Boring.

'Well,' Leon thought, 'I can at least work with this.' Messing with Mondo just enough to be entertained, but not enough to be killed, was a tightrope act. Say something the biker deemed a personal attack and he's a goner, but phrasing it as a challenge or dare could usually get Mondo to go along with anything. 'I just need the one carrying the braincell to leave.'

"Hey, Ishimaru!" Leon whispered to Kiyotaka. "I think I saw Souda spiking girls' drinks."

"WHAT!" Kiyotaka immediately left to find and possibly stomp the mechanic to death. Hopefully Ultimate Nurse Mikan was around.

"Ba--Taka?" Mondo called, confused at the sudden departure.

Leon swooped in and took his arm to pull him away from the main crowd a bit. "Mondo, buddy, want to have some fun?"

His buddy suspiciously glared down at him and answered, "Depends. What's yer idea of fun?"

Leon smiled, knowing the other's curiosity was a great sign for this plan working. "I noticed your wandering hands don't wander very far," he quickly waved his arms and continued when Mondo started puffing up to yell at him, "SO I wanna help you get them to second base tonight!"

Mondo deflated and stared.

"Y-Y'know, it's a baseball metaphor because I'm-"

"I KNOW WHAT THE FUCK SECOND BASE MEANS!" Several students turned to them, unimpressed, prompting Mondo to lower his voice again. "The hell are ya gettin at?"

"Well, either you got shy hands or Taka has you whipped. Which is it?"

"Is yer idea of fun gettin ripped in half, dude?"

"Er, let me start over," Leon back-pedaled quickly. He could do this. "What's stopping you from touching Taka more than a nervous twelve-year-old on the first date?" Shit. "Shit, wait, don't hit me! I'm just curious why you've been together so long and I've never seen your hands reach the promised land!"

The other boy paused with right arm still raised in mid-punch. "Wha?"

"By 'promised land' I mean his butt." Leon took a step backwards in case he had to dodge.

Something about that made Mondo briefly look more insecure, "One: I ain't lookin to get dumped. I still dunno how handsy he'll let me get."

Then his attack-dog mode returned and he brought his raised arm to his chest to crack his knuckles. "And two: if you've been lookin at Taka's ass, I'mma tie ya up in front of the fuckin ball machine an' leave ya there."

"What? No! Gross!" Leon had been, but it was like admiring a work of art, and also not the point. "I just want my pals happy! Trust me, every time you touch his back, go lower than before. You can watch his signals or whatever, but if you go slow it'll be fine!"

Leon was proud he sounded so supportive. It was a complete lie, of course. Leon was 99.9% sure the second Mondo passed the belt line, Kiyotaka would loudly explode at his boyfriend, making the guy explode right back, and ensuring Leon finally had his entertainment for tonight.

Leon just had to make sure he won his little Mondo game first, "You should at least try before he finds someone else man enough to grab dat a-"

"YA LITTLE SHIT!"

Whoops, Leon found himself suspended off the ground by his shirt. That's going to stretch. He shouldn't have gone the toxic masculinity route. But Mondo exhaled through his nose and set him back down when he saw Kiyotaka marching back over to them. 'Whipped.'

"Souda swore his innocence, but I've made all the ladies get new drinks to be safe! And Hiro is oddly asking everyone if they need ice but it's not for the drinks...?" Kiyotaka's expression changed from bemused to wary. "Uh, was there a problem here, Mondo?"

"Nah, y'know how Leon is," Mondo's voice was disgustingly soft all of a sudden. "C'mon, I think I see Chi playing a game."

As they walked away, Leon caught Mondo rest his hand on Taka's neck then slide down to mid-back without issue. Smirking, Leon adjusted his now loose shirt collar and followed at a distance.

An hour. A whole damn hour passed watching Mondo slowly achieve touching Kiyotaka's hip! Leon wanted to scream. He didn't mean go that slow! And Taka acted like he didn't notice or care either. Leon wished Souda really was spiking drinks so he could down three.

Sayaka appeared at Leon's side, startling the redhead. "You're disappointed in him," she stated.

"Of course I'm disappointed! Dude's a gang leader and he acts like the Ultimate Gentleman!" Wait. "Wait, what do you mean? How do you...?"

"Psychi~c," she sing-songed innocently before she pointed to the couple Leon had been stalking. When Leon looked over, Kiyotaka's hand reached back to purposefully guide Mondo's hand from his hip down the short distance to the swell of his behind, and kept it there.

What? The fuck? Happened? He'd been expecting jumping, yelling, possibly some face-slapping to get on video, but definitely wasn't expecting Taka to push Mondo to the goal line. Mondo himself looked dumbstruck.

'Sonuvabitch,' Leon thought. Good for them and all but what was he supposed to do, not tease them? He sauntered up behind the two and stage-whispered, "Oi! Ass-grabbing is not welcome in a school environment!"

They yelped and jumped apart, then just as quickly whirled on him. Mondo's red face especially said Leon was in danger, but it was Kiyotaka who spoke.

"We're outside of school hours, in the rec room among friends! If public displays of affection made you uncomfortable, you could have asked instead of disturbing your peers with vulgar mockery." His arms were crossed and his eyes appeared almost aflame. He was not happy being interrupted.

"Ha," Leon pointed at the proud model student, "It was just funny catching the school mascot initiate groping. You been wanting that a while?"

There was a low growl coming from the direction of Mondo now.

Sayaka grabbed Leon's shoulder and murmured a warning, "Kuwata, you should probably let it go."

He ignored her.

Kiyotaka's eyebrows furrowed as if ready to pounce and maul Leon's face. "It was not groping. Why is it surprising I'd want my partner to touch me?"

"Babe," Mondo had stopped growling at Leon to put all his attention on his boyfriend, "it was really ok? Ya knew what I was tryin t'do all night?"

"Of course," Taka said warmly. "You were only holding me, and I'm yours, so obviously you can-"

"M-MINE?!" Mondo honest-to-god squeaked.

Leon reacted just as loudly, "Did I just hear Taka imply his ass belongs to Mondo? Kiyotaka?? Ishimaru?!"

Whoops, he was being lifted again. Only this time Mondo brought him all the way to the door and literally threw him out.

"Owww. So much for my fun."

Sayaka sighed as she walked out to Leon and handed him something. "You can thank Hiro for the ice."

[shenanigans-and-imagines]

Aaah I loved your Maul nsfw alphabet! Can I ask for Savage?

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

He treats you like glass. He’ll carry you to the shower, and help you clean up before pulling you on top of his chest.  He likes you sleeping on top of him rather than the mattress.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

He loves your tits.  110% boob man, and you can quote me on that.  He loves reaching out and palming them in his massive hands.  He loves how soft they are and how touching them makes you groan.  He loves all your soft parts, but your breasts are his favorite.

For himself, he loves his arms.  He knew, even before his transformation, what power they could hold.  He knows you like them, and admire them while he fights.  And he knows he can keep you safe in them.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Call it instinct, but he wants nothing more than to cum inside you every time.  He loves watching as cum drips out of you pussy, coating his cock.  You’re too full with him that some inevitably overflows.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

As careful as he is and has delicately as he treats you, there is a part of him that wants nothing more than to just use you body.   The need to fully let go and tear you apart with his cock is ever present. He just wants to keep you in bed and stuff you full of his cum again and again, until you pass out.  And even then keep fucking you until you only smell of him and sex.

He keeps this entirely to himself, ashamed of this primal drive inside him.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

None before you. Personally I think the Nightsisters either kill or enslave whoever is chosen for a mate. That’s why Savage was adamant that Feral keep his head down. So between getting none on Dathomire and getting transformed by Mother Talzin, there hasn’t been an opportunity.

Maybe if there’s a weird coming of age ceremony for Nightbrothers, but I’m not sure.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

You riding him.  He’s very aware of his strength as is constantly worried about hurting you.  Having you on top to set the pace eases his anxieties and allows him to actually enjoy the moment.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Not really.  He’s not exactly the funniest guy out of the sheets, so that’ll be a negative between them too.  He honestly get maybe a little too serious, and it’ll be up to you to break the tension.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Absolutely no hair down below.  He doesn’t even need to shave.  Zabraks are just like that.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

He is 110% focused on you when you’re having sex.  Rough or slow, it doesn’t matter.  He has to know you’re okay.  Sometimes that means he’s too much in his own head, but it comes from a good place.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Not as often as you would think.  Even before being transformed, he didn’t do it that often, associating sex in general with the Nightsisters and what that might mean for him.  After you’re together, he doesn’t really see the point.  He has you.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

As tempting as it is to say size kink (and it is very tempting), I’m actually going to say he’s neutral on the subject. 

Praise kink is truly what gets him going.  Knowing he makes you feel good.  Knowing you love him.  Knowing it’s him making you feel this way will send him more than anything else.

Also, sub 8.5/10.  That’s just my theory.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Anywhere.  Seriously, anywhere.  The man is not picky.  The only thing he asks for is privacy, but other than that; against a wall, on a table, in your bed, in your shower, in the training room, where ever you want to have sex, he is down to clown.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

You asking for it.  Seriously.  You asserting yourself and telling him and you want him right then and there and he’s ready to go.  It’s your choice to be with him.  Your confidence to know what you want and when you want it, gets him going like nothing else.

Also, your smell.  I’m not sure how else to put it.  He loves the way you smell.  If your sweating from exercise or training and he gets a good nose full, he’s taking you to bed right then and there.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

No to BDSM.  He doesn’t like the idea of hurting you for pleasure and he’s been too hurt to like it on himself.  Pain doesn’t mix with pleasure in his mind.  Pain is pain and pleasure is pleasure.  That’s it.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

God he loves giving.  It’s so easy to get lost in your taste and sounds.  The feeling of your hand clasping his horns sends him every time.  There has been more than one night where he just keeps going, making you cum again and again with his mouth and fingers until either you tear him away or pass out from the pleasure.  He gets a little enthusiastic.

As for him getting, he likes it, but the simple fact is, you can’t even begin to get him fully inside your mouth.  Deep-throating is nearly impossibly with his ridged cock.  Still the fact that you even offer is incredible to him.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Slow and sensual...at least at the start.  If I haven’t made my point yet; he does not want to hurt you!!!  He doesn’t fully trust himself to give you everything he’s capable of.  But, the more you beg and plead and insist that you can take it, the more his resistance wains. 

It takes a lot of trust to build between you two.  Eventually though, he gives it to you as rough as you like, nothing more or less.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Sometimes.  It’s not his favorite thing, but sometimes there isn’t time for anything else, and you ask him so sweetly.  Their fast and dirty against the wall before he’s called by Maul on a mission.  They always leave you wrecked and him, a little less stressed.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

He’s really nervous when it comes to experimenting and doesn’t really have any interest in looking up stuff.  If you find something you’d like to try and talk with him in detail before hand, he’ll do it.  But, it does take a bit of convincing.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

He doesn’t last as long as you’d think, but his recovery time is insane.  He cums between 10 to 15 minutes in, but he can keep going anywhere between 3 to you honestly lost count when you hit the double digits times a night.

You’re not sure exactly what Mother Talzin did, but you thank her every night.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

That’ll be a no.  He wants sex to be between you and him, no fancy silicon or anything else.  He wants to be the one to make you cum, every single time.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Again, that’ll be a no.  He doesn’t even bother to try.  He wants nothing more than to please you.  The minute you beg to cum, he’s at your mercy.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

He makes the most animalistic sounds during sex.  No coherent words, just a long string of grunts and growling, getting louder and louder until he all but howls when he cums.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

He can smell your arousal.  If you’re standing in a room with him, he knows the second you’re turned on.  He’s not sure if Maul can sense it, but he can and it drives him crazy.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Huge.  Porn star huge.  You can’t even get it fully inside you with out serious prep work, you can see it bulging inside you huge.  Add on a three ridged cock like all other Zabaks and you’ve got the right idea. (insert link to Bad Dragon: Nova here because if I link anything outside of tumblr, I’m blocked from the tags)

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Not crazy high.  His libido did not go up with his size.  He can go for a while without sex and be okay. But when he is in the mood...clear your schedule.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

It take him a good hour after sex to finally doze off.  He just likes you hold you, listening to you talk until your words get slurred and you fall asleep on his chest.  He allows himself to enjoy the heat and weight of your body on his own, to know that you’re real and here with him.

[captainmazzic]

So every now and again I get a message in my inbox asking about what I thought about such-and-such a thing in new canon, or if I’m intending on writing any meta or analysis on a particular subject in Star Wars. And sometimes I keep those messages sitting in my inbox for months (one has been sitting there for a little over a year), because I think, maybe I will feel comfortable doing in-depth meta again and I’ll wish I’d remembered what this message had asked. But as time goes by I don’t think that’s going to happen.

Okay. Real talk for a minute here. Bear with me as I’m long-winded and I don’t really have a concise way of communicating this. Potential political views and personal opinions on certain points in cinematic history below.

Short backstory first. I’m an older Star Wars fan. I was a tiny child when the last of the original trilogy came out, and both my parents are sci-fi nerds so I was practically raised on Star Wars. They are also tabletop RPG nerds so I was also raised on D&D and the like. So naturally when Star Wars tabletop RPGs were floating around I snapped them up and consumed them like candy. The novels were a natural extension of the RPGs, and I consumed those just as enthusiastically. The Expanded Universe was my bread and butter, and to this day I’m very nostalgic and fond of it even if most of it is quite laughably terrible.

Where am I going with this? Everything is a product of their time. The original trilogy was created when George Lucas was a young liberal-minded fresh-faced director looking to change the world and make his mark. This was the 70s, war was awful, the government was evil, hippies and protests were everywhere, and the only thing that seemed to have any hope of changing the world were small bands of spunky misfits with a mission and a message. And that mentality is one that shows, in the original Star Wars films. Lucas designed the Empire as a representation of the United States circa the Vietnam War, just dressed up in the fashion and ceremony of Nazi Germany and the Soviet Union. (Sources: Chris Taylor, How Star Wars Conquered the Universe, Pp. 87-88; Michael Ondaatje, The Conversations: Walter Murch and the Art of Editing Film, p.70) The message of the original trilogy boiled down to “the ability of a small group of people to defeat a gigantic power simply by the force of their convictions… no matter how small you are, you can defeat the overwhelmingly big power.” (quote: Walter Murch). He really struggled to get Star Wars onto the big screen, with a lot of setbacks and rejections, and many times when he thought it would never happen. But it did, and it was wildly successful. And I think in part it was because that message really spoke to people, and it didn’t hurt that it was wrapped up in a package with cool laser swords and explosions and space battles.

But then the 80s happened. And the 90s happened. And through that, what happened to Lucas is what happens to many people as they gain success, wealth, and fame as they grow older. The system started to work for him instead of against him. Suddenly the Powers That Be weren’t trying to suppress his ideas from getting to an audience; suddenly all those organizations that seemed so hell-bent on keeping him out were now enabling him to get and stay in, to conserve and gain influence; suddenly his opinion counted for so much it almost seemed god-like, especially in this galaxy far, far away that was unflowering under his direction and all-seeing eye. I guess the system isn’t so bad after all, eh?

And thus we have the Prequels. They can be a rollicking good time, but their message is muddled. Before them the books and the RPGs seemed to try as best they could to hold on to that earlier message of underdog vs. the powers-that-be (with the RPGs succeeding more often, imho), but they couldn’t continue in the face of their Ultimate Creator coming back in to make more SW movies. With the Prequels, suddenly the Old Republic is portrayed as noble and struggling instead of corrupt and dying, with a lot of hand-waving and “something something well actually” in regards to the role of the Jedi, the nature of the Senate, etc. There’s mixed messages where sometimes we get the old Star Wars back, with energetic groups of activists and freedom fighters trying to bring down the oppressors, but there’s also a lot of storytelling awkwardness where the audience is implored to trust the authorities and rely on the judgment of those with power over you within the same breath. This trend continues throughout the Clone Wars animation, and it is there that it becomes often so cognitively dissonant one wonders how you don’t get whiplash trying to follow whatever garbled message they think they’re communicating. And I think that’s where the Star Wars franchise really began to become a monster in its own right. Big businesses are hulking entities unto themselves, functioning like capitalist plutocracies within their host nations, and the Star Wars franchise is no exception. Whatever garbled message Lucas tried to send out with the Prequels grew amplified and even more confused with the Clone Wars, spread into the video games and the books, and continued to infect Star Wars as the franchise was turned over to the quintessential mega-plutocratic-empire, The Walt Disney Company.

And here we have the Sequel movies, the New Canon, and all of the disasters that come with them.

Disney walks a fine line between well-meaning family-friendly sugar and spice, and ruthless all-consuming hypercontroller of everything from arts and entertainment to food and clothes and government lobbying. Their bottom line is the dollar and the influence on – and power over – people’s lives that the dollar brings with it. Handing them a story whose original message was about people resisting the very kind of mammoth force that Disney embodies, and hoping that they will try to stay true to said original message, is hopeless and foolish at best and utterly disastrous at worst.

With the Sequels and subsequent movies, Disney pays good overt lip service to the original trilogy with things like Rogue One and the Rebels animation, which on the surface certainly do look like the same sort of message as the original trilogy. But scratch just below that surface and Disney is all about communicating that submitting to the authority of, say, higher Rebel command and following their orders even when it goes against your gut feeling (ex. Ezra Bridger in the Rebels animation), or that rebelling against an unjust government is only valid if it is done according to a strict but nebulous set of arbitrary rules and only if it is done in the service of a different unjust government that just happens to be slightly less evil than the one you’re trying to overthrow (ex. any iteration of the Old Republic ever, but I’m especially and particularly looking at you, Sequel-era Republic/Resistance and SWTOR Jedi/Republic).

And here is where I balk about ever doing meta on Star Wars again. I hate that this is the direction Star Wars is taking. I hate that New Canon feels like propaganda to me. I hate that I can’t enjoy any of this stuff if I take it for what it presents itself to be. I hate that the only way I truly can enjoy Star Wars now is by cherry-picking all of the tiny bits of window dressing that was pretty enough or interesting enough for me to want to look at it again, and very deliberately and consciously throwing out all the rest.

The experience of Star Wars that I create for myself is escapist and isolating, because it is so very tailor-made to what I can enjoy out of it now. When I go see a new Star Wars film or play a Star Wars game, I don’t actually see whatever story the franchise is trying to actually tell. I see bits and pieces that I can put together into something I can cope with better, something I can actually enjoy.

Examples include:

In Rebels, when the official franchise’s story killed off Maul. I cannot and will not acknowledge that, or function as though it happened. And I can’t really give my opinion on how not having Maul around will affect the future story, because I very literally do not care at all about any Star Wars where he is not in it.

In The Clone Wars, there are so many instances of Anakin Skywalker having agency and making decisions independent of the Jedi Council or without having their insipid code squarely in mind, where if he had made those decisions in a more realistic setting they would have turned out quite well, but what we get on screen is ominous background music and FoReShAdOwInG.

In The Last Jedi, I cannot fathom any reason why Yoda would be given the role that he was given, and find it a complete affront to Darth Vader/Anakin Skywalker, who had every motivation, every reason, every right to have that role instead. So I can’t see that scene without him in it. I just… I don’t see it. It didn’t happen that way, and I find I cannot discuss it as it’s presented on-screen. I have nothing to say.

In the Sequel media, both books and movies, Supreme Leader Snoke is portrayed as a one-dimensional Saturday morning cartoon villain whose intended role in the story is blurred as the story progresses, and his death is completely nonsensical in regards to the buildup of information that we as an audience have gleaned about him. We see pieces of evidence that he could have actually cared about Kylo Ren that go nowhere in the actual story, and he ends up just being a scapegoat that gets thrown away halfway through the second sequel movie. I choose to see more in his character than what we were given in Actual Canon™, and thus see him very differently than what common discourse would allow. Because of this, if I discuss Snoke in mixed company I know that I will be called out as someone who advocates for only the limited cardboard-character that is portrayed on screen, instead of for the internalized view that I have personally built for him.

I know everyone’s personal view of a character or characters is different, because we all have different points of view. But there is often some sort of vague common ground in their portrayal that the author or storyteller was originally going for, that most people usually pick up on and base their opinions around. But what if some of the key characteristics that make up a character are just… things you choose not to see or are incapable of seeing, and your own personal view of that character becomes almost entirely different from the “original”? Probably the most benign example I can think of is Hera Syndulla. If I take what I see of her in canon, she infuriates me with how she treats her crew. But if I just decide that such-and-such a conversation never happened, or her decisions on such-and-such a mission were different than the on-screen one, she essentially becomes an alternate-universe version of herself. Only that this version is one that I can tolerate, and it is the only version I see anymore.

How does one communicate that my entire experience of Star Wars is as an AU?

And on and on it goes. Discussing meta and Actual Canon Events™ as portrayed on screen and on printed page has become nothing but a migraine headache to me. I cannot engage in discourse, because I am very much not seeing what everyone else is seeing and talking about, nor do I care to. I just… I can’t keep talking about the same stupid things over and over again. I can’t keep screaming into the void about the unsustainability of the Sith or the Jedi, about the complete inequality and corruption that would have to be absolutely omnipresent in the Republic for it to even be remotely realistic even by cartoon standards, about the inevitability of the Republic turning into an Empire, about the weird dissonance given to the concept of the Force that would end up making both the Jedi and the Sith’s case baseless and weak, etc. etc. ETC. It’s exhausting, it’s stressful, and for something that I’m here to try to enjoy, it’s not even remotely enjoyable.

The very core of the matter is that I love the Star Wars universe. I love the worlds, I love the aliens, I love the ships and the droids and the technology and the concept of the Force. I love the characters. I love all of these things, and sometimes I even love the plots and stories (thank you Chuck Wendig and Timothy Zahn). But I just can’t enjoy digging into the meta of it anymore.

So if you like what I post of my own personal Star Wars-brand AU, by all means dig right in. But I don’t think I can do anymore general meta or discourse. I’m sticking with fanart and fanfic.

[blackwidownat2814]

It All Began When Someone Left the Window Open...

Here’s Chapter 4 for you guys!  Sorry it was so late, life and writer’s block got in the way.  Many million of thanks to my BFF Courtney for being the BEST BETA ever.  *side note: Nothing bad, I just want to let y’all know that this just so happens to be a dialogue heavy chapter.

From the Beginning...

Chapter 4

Dinner For Three

“So, I’ve got several choices for you milady”, said Killian.  He placed the tins of cat food on the counter in front of Hermione. “Savory Salmon, Classic Chicken, Grilled Salmon & Shrimp, and Tender Beef. Which would you prefer?”  

Emma smiled and watched as he spread the tins out in front of her cat and stood back to see what she’d choose.  Hermione crept forward and sniffed each tin.  After what seemed like careful consideration, Hermione swatted the ‘Savory Salmon’ tin and looked up at Killian.

“Excellent choice love, let me just get this in a dish for you.”  He turned back to the cabinet to put away the unchosen foods and pulled out a food dish and placed it on the counter.

“You didn’t have to do that”, said Emma.  “I could’ve brought some of her stuff over and--”

“Nonsense, Swan”, Killian said, cutting her off.  He turned back to Hermione, patiently waiting from her spot on his counter.  “Now, here you go love.  Come on down off there and tuck in.”

Hermione jumped down and settled into her meal on the little mat Killian had under the window. Emma smiled in disbelief at her cat eating food from someone she didn’t know, in a dish that wasn’t hers.

“You must have something special about you Jones, because not only did she not maul you when you met, but she’s eating food you gave her and that’s not even her dish.  She’s the pickiest eater when it comes to anyone but me or Elsa.”  Emma noticed the tips of Killian’s ear turning red. He cleared his throat and smiled at her as he turned to pull the meatloaf from the warm oven.

“I’m glad she thinks so.  It’s been a very long time since someone has.”  Killian motioned for her to take a seat at the table.  “What would you like to drink Swan?  I've water, coffee, milk, orange juice?”

“Beer?”

“Uh, no.  I don’t have-I mean, I…don’t drink.”

“Oh God, I’m so sorry.”  

“It’s quite alright Swan, you didn’t know.”

“Still… Anyways, I’m assuming you’ve got tea?”

“Is Earl Grey alright? I feel like it’s a little late for Irish Breakfast.”

“You’ve got a point, and yeah, Earl Grey is fine.”  Emma flashed a smile at him as he turned to grab his kettle from the cabinet. He filled it up with water and set it on the burner.

They were silent in the kitchen, and as Emma watched him grab plates and utensils, she thought back to what had happened the other day.

“I’m sorry about what I said to you the other day”, she blurted out.  Killian was surprised enough by her outburst and the utensils clattered onto the table.

“You don’t have t--” he began to protest.

“Yes I do, Killian.”

“How about we wait until after dinner?  I promise we’ll talk.”

“Okay, yeah.”

“Meow.”

Their moment was broken when Hermione decided to make her presence known and pawed at Killian’s leg. He bent down and scooped her up.

“Yes, love?”

“Meow.”

“You’ve already had your dinner.  No more for you unless mum says it’s okay.”  Killian and Hermione turned to look at Emma.

“Meow.”

“No ma’am.  You remember what the Drs. Nolan said about your diet: one tin at each meal time because you need to lose some weight.”

“Meow.” Hermione sounded dejected, but Emma knew she was trying to get her to break and allow more food.

“Uh-uh.  You aren’t going to make me fall for that.” Hermione gave a little huff and turned away from Emma and proceeded to jump out of Killian’s arms and wandered to his couch and curled up in the corner.

“Well then, how about I get dinner on the table?”  Killian went back to the stove and pulled the meatloaf out and set it on the table.  “How many slices would you care for Swan?”

Before Emma could answer, the kettle on the stove started whistling.  Killian was about to go and get it, but Emma stopped him.

“Please, let me.” She didn’t allow him protest and stood to retrieve the kettle.  “Where are your mugs?”

“Cabinet right above the stove.”  Killian went back to slicing up the meatloaf and set two pieces on Emma’s plate and two on his.  Emma finished pouring the hot water into the mugs and brought them back to the table.

“Here you go.”

“Tuck in to supper and I’ll get the rest of the tea things”, said Killian.

“Do you need any help or anything?” she asked.

“No, love, I’ve got this.  You enjoy. I’m trying a new recipe tonight and I’d like an unbiased opinion”, he replied.

“Ooh, well I’m glad to be of service.”  Killian went about placing the milk and sugar on the table and getting the loose-leaf Earl Grey into the tea infusers.  Emma watched him work as she took a bite from her meatloaf. “Good Lord Killian!  This is amazing!”

Killian smiled and looked down at his plate as she saw his red-tinged cheeks.

“You don’t have to say that because you’re my friend, you know.”

“I’m not. Believe you me, I’d tell you if it sucked.”

“I’m sure you would”, Killian replied as he took a bite.  He swallowed and continued, “In that case my dear Swan, thank you very much. I’m glad you like it.”

“What’s in this sauce?”

“It’s just brown sugar, catsup, and mustard.”

“It’s my favorite part”, she replied enthusiastically.

Dinner went on the same, with them chatting lightly about their day and about Hermione, who decided to beg for food once more after her nap.

They were finishing up their cups of tea when Emma decided to try being brave once again.

“I don’t know who my parents are.”  Killian stopped mixing his tea and looked up at her.

“Come again?”

“My parents, I’ve never met them...because…”  Emma looked down at her tea, holding it with both her hands.  Come on, buck up!  You can do this!  She startled slightly when she felt (rather than saw) Killian take her right hand in his.

“You don’t have to say anything Swan.”  She looked back up at him, appreciating the comforting look he was giving her.

“No, I do.  It’s time, you know?  I’ve kept it to myself long enough.  Besides, Elsa and Ruby are the only people in my life who really know me.”  Emma took a sip of tea and looked back at Killian.  “And I’d like for someone else to know me.”

“I appreciate your choosing me Swan.”

“You’re welcome.” Emma leaned back in her chair and took a deep breath.  “Like I said before, I don’t know my parents.  I was actually found on the side of a road 10 miles outside of Portland.”

“Those bastards”, Killian said quietly.

“A runaway found me. They told me his name was August. When I got older, I tried looking for him, but I still haven’t had any luck, even in my line of work. Anyways…the first three years of my life were pretty good, despite the way it started.  I was adopted as a baby, but then they got pregnant and sent me back.”

Killian reached across the table and took her hand in his, lightly running his thumb over her knuckles.

“I’m so sorry love.”

“I stayed at the orphanage after that”, Emma barreled on.  “When I was old enough, I was sent to different foster homes.  Some were good, the people genuinely cared for the kids under their care, and some were…well, you can imagine.”  Emma pulled the collar of her shirt away from the left side, showing Killian an almost five inch scar on her chest, high above her left breast.

“I can’t imagine how that must have affected you at such an age.”

“It taught me to be strong and stand up for myself.”  She paused, then took a deep breath.  “I ran away from the system when I was almost 17.  I got by working odd jobs and stealing food to survive when I didn’t have the money.  One day, I needed a way out of Maine and so I stole a car I found in an alley; it was a yellow Beetle.”

“A classic to be sure”, Killian said with a laugh.

“Do you want to know the rest?” she asked.

“Pardon my impudence love, only meant to try to alleviate the situation.  Do continue.”

“Anyways, I wasn’t the first to steal the car.  The guy who’d stolen it before me was actually asleep in the back seat.  His name was Neal and he was older than me, in his 20s.  22, I think. Point was, not something we should’ve started.  We were together for a while, stealing what we could to survive.

One day, after slipping into a motel room that hadn’t been cleaned yet, we decided it was time to settle, to find a home.  We found a map and chose a random location: Tallahassee.  Neal said he had one last thing he could do to get the money to go there. He convinced me to grab some expensive watches he stashed in a train station locker and then we’d fence them to get moving.”

Emma was quiet for a moment.  Somehow, Hermione sensed her human’s coming sadness and bounded over to curl up on her shoulder.  Emma ran her free hand through the soft fur and then continued.

“He gave me one, slipped it on my wrist and told me to meet him in the park while he took ‘em to the fence.  I got worried something happened when he didn’t show at the time he said he would. A cop showed though.”

“He didn’t…”

“I spent 11 months in jail.”

“I’d wring his neck if I could.”

“Get in line.”

They sat in silence, Killian caressing her hand with his thumb, the only sound coming from Hermione’s constant purrs.  After a few minutes, Killian took a deep breath.

“Three years ago--”

“Stop.”

“I’m sorry?”

“I don’t need to know right now.  I don’t want you to tell me anything until you’re 100% sure that you’re ready to.  I like you Killian, you’re a nice and decent guy, and those are few and far between these days.  I…I want to get to know you and be friends.”

“I want the same Emma. Gods, do I want the same.  It’s been so long since I’ve been close to anyone or had friends other than Belle or Will.  So much has happened and I need someone else to share it with.  To gain a fresh perspective, as it were.”

“In that case Killian Jones, I propose we become friends.”

“I couldn’t agree more love.”

“Meow.”

“And it seems dear Hermione feels the same.”

“I’m glad!” said Emma. “When I adopted her, Dr. Nolan told me she’d been at the shelter a few years.  No one had wanted her.  He went to get her out so I could pet her and she scratched him so bad!  When he finally handed her to me, she only hissed a bit, but then calmed down.  I took her home that afternoon.”

“She reminds you of yourself.”

“So much. Forgotten and unloved in the beginning, hostile towards new people…she is me.” Emma smiled at her cat and ran her hand through the fur, setting off the purring.  “Hermione has never met a person she didn’t scratch or hiss at or bite the second she meets them.  You have been the first and only person who didn’t receive that treatment.”

“I’m sure that’s not true.”

“It is.  When I told Ruby and Elsa, they gave their sympathies, and then I told them what happened, they couldn’t believe me.” Killian finally let go of Emma’s hand so that he could pet Hermione.  She walked away from her human and curled up in the crook of Killian’s left arm, settling herself in.

“Well, I’m honored. Miss Hermione must know something we both don’t.”

“I trust her, one of the few individuals in my life that I do trust.  She trusts you now…”, Emma said, “…so I’m going to trust her.”