#and marley goes 'it's okay'

[addictsitter]

the glee version of “closer” is a: really enjoyable and b: so much fun??? like. the s4 kids actually feel like they’re all actual friends. even with kitty being kitty, it actually seems like they’re friends in a way that the original kids didn’t.

[melimpostor]

Absolutely adore your art! Wb some Aruani angst (up to your interp as to why)

Heya ! First off : thanks !! Glad you like it :D Also, sorry i'm super late- but okay here goes I have this gut wrenching AU i inflicted myself , where i imagined what would happen if Eren and Mikasa actually ran away together and how it could sign the end of Paradis. Its pretty angsty and hurt / no comfort so continue at your own discretion please-

Marley is finally able to finish what they started on the island with their search for the coordinate, killing military and civilians alike in their quest. Yet, their target is nowhere to be seen. The paradisians soldiers as a whole were no match. Outnumbered and with a technology far behind, they are falling like flies. Levi's squad is barely holding on, something remarquable considering their small number. Still, something felt very wrong; Where the hell is Armin ?! He wasn't quite de same since his two closest friends left. He became way quieter, a shadow of his past self. His absences were noticed. It wasn't the first time he missed his duty, though nobody had the heart to sermon him or ask him where he went. But today was one time too many.

By pushing their way into the inner walls, Marleyan military eventually find the place Annie is secluded. And that's where Armin stands, by her side. At a time where he felt utterly lost and confused, coming here was the last thing keeping him sane and giving him some comfort. The soldiers aim at him. Shouting undecipherable slurs Armin doesn't totally catch. He seems very unbothered by the intrusion, as if he knew all along they would eventually come here. Maybe it's his punishment for deserting his comrades, or for misunderstanding his best friend's distress... Maybe it's his punishment for killing Berthold, or for betraying Annie. Maybe it's his punishment for being so weak and such a disapointment. It doesn't really matter anyway. He seems at peace for what comes next.

(Maaaybe it's more Armin centered than Aruani ,sorry ! But i think there's potential for Aruani angst, especially if he's not shot on sight-)

[roseofdarknessblog]

Night Changes (Postwar!Levi Ackerman x Reader)

Word count: 3 506

Disclaimer: english is not my first language, I apologize in advance for any mistakes

A/N: The song Nigh Changes by One Direction popped into my head while I was thinking about the title of this story. So I put it on after a pretty long time and realized that the lyrics kind of match the vibe I was trying to go for. Mainly the lines:

"But there's nothing to be afraid of

Even when the night changes

It will never change me and you"

Summary: The Rumbling happened more than half a year ago. Yet you and Levi are still adjusting to the new reality and the chance to live in peace despite all the hardships you're facing daily.

This story can be read on its own or as a part of my little post-war series: Learn to live again

Night Changes

Another day was slowly coming to an end. Thankfully. It was a long and stressful one, just like every single time you and Levi had to be reminded of your past. Of the war, the Rumbling, and everything that came with it. Half a year had already passed and so many things in your personal lives had changed.

„Here, your tea, my love,“ you said and closed the bedroom door, making your way to the bed where Levi was resting. After a few days, he was finally back home from the hospital after another knee surgery. „Do you need anything else?“

He shook his head and took the cup, barely looking at you in the process. You didn’t think anything about it, because you knew Levi. And most importantly, you knew how he was after every hospital stay – anxious, uncomfortable, and stressed out.

„I closed the kitchen and living room windows for the night. It looks like a storm is closing in, I saw lightning from the direction of the ocean.“ You walked over to the other side of the bed and sat down, resting your back against the headrest. It wasn’t too late but you were already pretty tired. „Hope it won’t be as bad as the last one.“

Levi didn’t utter a word, he kept drinking his tea in silence. You felt great relief about him being back home. All of this... was still brand new and scary. Life in the outside world was much different than the one you were used to on Paradis. And not even the trips you took to Marley before the Rumbling could prepare you for it. Or at least not for everything, that became essential for your new everyday life.

Medical care, for example.

While you didn’t suffer any long-term injuries during the last battle against Eren, Levi took many hits for both of you. Since then he had to spend every single day in pain. And the worst part was, that you couldn’t do much to help him. You were no doctor or nurse, only a former member of the Survey Corps and Levi’s now fiancée. All you could do were the most basic and everyday things.

Just like today, after you brought him home from the hospital once again, after his third knee surgery in only six months. The doctors tried to reassure you, that if everything goes well, this could be the last surgery for a very long time, maybe even forever. At least when it came to his knee. His right eye was a completely different story, sadly.

„Do you... want to talk? Maybe?“ you asked after a short while, hugging one of the pillows to your chest.

The apartment where you lived now was... still unfamiliar and didn’t feel like home at all. The only positive thing was, that it was situated on the ground floor so Levi didn’t have troubles with his wheelchair, which he still needed to use. Nobody was able to tell you for how long it will stay that way or if he will ever get rid of it. He was able to walk using a cane, but it was causing him too much unnecessary pain. So getting around with a bit of additional help was much better and even safer for him.

And that was totally okay, you kept reassuring him, that it’s nothing catastrophic. Even though... even though it was. Horrible and so unnatural for the both of you. Still so new and hard to get used to.

You hoped it would get easier. Seeing him like this – weaker and more vulnerable than probably ever before. But it wasn’t getting even a tiny bit easier. There were still moments you had to hide somewhere and cry your eyes out without Levi noticing, because you felt horrible about his health and because you were so worried about what the future held in stock for you and the man you loved so dearly since the days both of you were still living in the Underground on Paradis.

„This isn’t the life I hoped we would have after all the shit we went through,“ Levi said quietly after he finished his tea and put the cup on the nightstand. It seemed that you finally mastered the art of making the perfect cup of his favorite drink. Not to say that you were trying to get to this level since you were a teenager and started living under the same roof with Levi.

„Yeah, this doesn’t look like the life we fought so hard for. But...“ you shrugged and moved closer to him, gently grabbing his left hand and interlocking your fingers, „we still have each other, that matters the most, right? At least something is the way we always wanted.“

„You always wanted to take care of me?“ Levi teased you with an annoyed tone.

„I did, yes. Maybe not exactly in the way I do it now, but I do it with love,“ you assured him and squeezed his hand, running your thumb over his knuckles.

Your life was far from easy or perfect, but you tried to have hope that everything would get better soon. Both of you were making slow but steady progress. Learning along the way with the help of one another, or the people closest to you.

„I hate all of this with burning passion, every single thing.“

„What exactly do you mean?“ you asked, resting your head on his shoulder.

„This...“ he hissed and gestured to his left knee, which was bandaged after the surgery and propped with a pillow underneath it to help the pain and swelling.

„Nobody said it’s forever. They have a much more advanced medical system here than we have on Paradis. We just... have to trust them.“

And that was the hardest part. For both of you. Every single doctor visit and hospital stay was nerve-wracking and anxiety-inducing for you and for Levi even more. It was hard to trust the world that was so different from everything you knew your whole life. And it was even harder to trust all the new people you kept meeting. Just a few months back, they saw your kind as their enemy.

And now...

Well, even if almost nobody knew, who you and Levi were, it felt strange walking down the streets of the little town you were living in. Anxiety kept telling you, that everyone was watching and judging your every move. For a few weeks, you could barely walk outside at all, because you were sure everyone was after you and wanted you dead. Onyankopon was the one, who helped you overcome this irrational fear and get used to so many new things.

„We’re making progress, even if it hurts,“ you said quietly, turning your head and pressing your lips to Levi’s neck lovingly.

When you looked down at your left ring finger, you could see a simple but beautiful engagement ring. You dreamed about it for years and it seemed like a miracle that you even lived long enough to soon become Mrs. Ackerman. There was no rush to get married now. Finally, after so many years, you had all the time in the world. Time to think it through and get everything as perfect as possible.

The storm came within the next hour. Both of you were still awake – while Levi was resting with his eyes closed, you were reading a book out loud. It was a silly adventure story about a group of friends who decided to explore a magical kingdom. Gabi was the one, who gifted you this book a few weeks ago, saying it was one of her favorites. So you decided to give it a try.

„Guess I’m starting to understand why Gabi loves this story,“ Levi said after a little while.

„Yeah, me too. I’ve never read anything similar. It’s very nice to get lost in such a magical world.“ The characters were nice and the magical kingdom sounded like the perfect place to get lost for a while and go exploring.

„We should ask for more book recommendations.“ You smiled at his words, brushing strands of hair from his forehead. He finally looked relaxed and that always put a smile on your face.

Anxiety from seeing doctors sometimes got the best of him. He didn’t trust them fully and hated to admit, that he needed their help. Somebody, who was known as Humanity's strongest soldier hated to appear weak or dependent on anyone or anything. The only person, to whom he was willing to show his suffering, was you.

But he was getting better at it. Better at seeking help and better at adjusting to all the new circumstances. Better at understanding, that his life changed very drastically. Better at living in peace with the new reality.

„We will, she and Falco are coming over to see us on Friday. And Onyankopon wants to stop by during the weekend as well.“

„Tch, so many noisy people coming and going, asking stupid questions.“

You smirked and leaned down to kiss his lips gently. „Shut up, you like them. Mainly Falco, when you get to kick his ass in chess.“

„The little brat has a lot to learn if he wants to win against me one day.“

„But he’s a fast learner, he’ll beat you in a couple of months,“ you teased him and closed the book. Loud thunder was heard from outside, while the rain was drumming against the windows. „We should go for a little walk tomorrow, to get some fresh air. What do you say?“

„Hope it will rain the whole day,“ he mumbled and looked at you, reaching his hand out to stroke your cheek.

„In that case, we’ll just take our umbrellas,“ you joked, keeping his hand on your cheek for a little longer. With a loving look, you bent down for another kiss, keeping your lips pressed together for a little longer. Just when you wanted to pull away, Levi moved his hand on the back of your head, keeping you close for a moment longer. His mouth made contact with yours once again and when your lips slightly parted, his tongue found its way inside, meeting yours.

„I hate your snarky little answers,“ he whispered into your lips, kissing you again before pulling you down next to him. With a satisfied grin, you made yourself comfortable and rested your head on Levi’s chest. „I would be so lost without you.“

„You would do just fine, Levi. But I’m glad I got to survive it all alongside you.“ Through the years you had a few close calls, but you always made it out in one piece. Thankfully. „Years back, we were just two teenagers in the Underground and today... we’re living in a world outside Paradis. It’s still so unbelievable to me.“

„We don’t even seem like those people anymore.“

„But deep down we’re still those two, just a little older and wiser. And happier.“

„Happier,“ he said almost too quietly, his lips pressing against your forehead.

Soon, you turned off the lights and tried going to sleep. The storm outside slowly died down and even the rain stopped. You and Levi were resting in each other’s arms, talking quietly and enjoying a peaceful night. Sleeping alone while he was in the hospital was always horrible. The bed felt too empty and cold when he wasn’t right there next to you.

After an hour, Levi started getting restless once again. His leg was hurting and staying in bed seemed like the worst possible thing to do. Some nights used to be like that – and Levi hated that more than anything. He hated keeping you up and not letting you rest. But you never said even a single bad word. Every time, you took care of him with love and patience, just like when he had nightmares and used to wake up screaming or sometimes even crying.

Not that... not that things like that never happened to you. Quite the opposite. Shortly after the Rumbling, it was you, who needed Levi’s help with managing your mental health. Your anxiety was through the roof almost 24/7 and most nights you simply weren’t able to fall asleep. You were scared of having another nightmare full of terror and blood. On top of everything that was happening around you, your mind simply decided to push you as far as possible, trying to break you for good.

If it wasn’t for Levi’s love and patience, you would never make it out of those dark places. While he was physically and mentally suffering himself, he always made sure you were doing as well as possible. If anything, you two always had each other to lean on. When one of you fell down, the other helped them up and made sure both of you could continue walking forward. Hand in hand, trusting and loving each other more and more every day.

„Should we get some fresh air? The storm’s gone and there are no people in the streets in the middle of the night,“ you suggested, coming back to the bedroom with another cup of tea for Levi. After he took it, you knelt down before him as he was sitting on the edge of the bed. You smiled at him with all the love you felt in your heart and put your hand on his healthy knee, squeezing it reassuringly.

„You can just open the windows,“ he said without an ounce of interest in his voice.

„Nah, that’s not the same.“ It was more than obvious, that none of you would get any sleep in the coming hours. And staying here wasn’t the best idea. During similar nights the small bedroom simply felt too suffocating. „We don’t have to be long, just a couple of minutes. It will help.“

You could see the pain in his features, in the way he was gripping the edge of the bed with his free hand, or in the way he was trying to avoid eye contact. You could hear it in his voice, in the way he was breathing. And it was killing you, even after six months of living like this. It hurt more than anything that ever happened to you directly.

„Okay, come on. We’re going out!“ you commanded after taking a couple of deep breaths and stood up, making your way to the closet to get some clothes for the both of you.

Levi tried protesting, but it was you, who won in the end. A change of scenery was very much needed and Levi started to agree with you as soon as you got out and into the fresh night air – him sitting in his wheelchair with you pushing him. It only took a couple of short minutes until you felt a strong wave of calmness filling your entire being.

„Okay, this wasn’t your worst idea,“ Levi said eventually, finally relaxing and resting his back once the painkillers started to kick in. You could clearly see how his entire posture changed, his shoulder muscles releasing all the tension. He even stopped clutching his hurting knee, hoping it would help him ease the pain.

„See, you should listen to me more often,“ you laughed and kissed the top of his head. There wasn’t a place you wanted to get to, just careless wandering around the night streets of your new home was what your soul craved.

The two of you ended up taking the route straight to the docks and to the beach next to it. The fresh salty breeze felt more than nice after another storm. Even the sky above your head became clear once again, shining with millions of tiny little stars. Surprisingly, the sky looked even clearer than on Paradis, when you used to stargaze on top of the Walls.

„Stop there by the bench,“ Levi said, as you were making your way along the sidewalk next to the beach. You did as he said, sitting down on the wooded bench and taking his hand in your once more.

„What are we going to do here?“ you asked, looking at him in the light from the nearby street lamp.

His face changed so much, but he was just as handsome as before. You loved every little detail about his face, even the new scars and his blind eye. After all, they were a reminder of how hard he fought for humanity. How he gave his all for the world, that did nothing but hurt him since he was just a little kid. 

Levi Ackerman has always been the only man you truly wanted. The only man you’ve ever shown interest in. You met him when you were only fifteen and since then, you couldn’t imagine living your life with anyone else.

„We’re going to sit here, watch the ocean, and listen to the waves,“ Levi answered and pulled your hand to his lips, kissing your left ring finger just under your ring.

„Maybe we should come here more often. Even if just during the night when no one’s around. We should go out more and explore, see as much as we can. Live like we said we would... you know, back at Fort Salta, the first night after the Rumbling.“

„We’ll get there, I promise,“ he tried reassuring you, just like many times before.

„I know we will. Sooner or later, in a month or maybe in a year.“

„When I’m a bit more put together,“ he chuckled quietly and looked at you, a tiny smirk on his lips. Despite the pain and trauma, he started smiling a little more often in your company. And you used to tease him, that it took you almost two decades, to achieve this. „Thank you for being so patient with me. For doing all the things you do for me and for us.“

So many different emotions were running through your mind and heart. You felt more than grateful for the life you had, despite everything. After all, this was all you ever dreamed of – a quiet and simple life with the man you loved more than anything or anyone. You wanted a warm and cozy home, a family of your own. You wanted what most ordinary people your age had.

„Do you think...“ you asked, feeling a lump forming in your throat. „Do you think they’re watching us right now? And maybe... maybe smiling because we’re doing good?“ Not a day went by without thinking of your late friends and comrades. You still missed them dearly and felt thankful for all their effort, that helped you get here.

„Let’s hope so,“ Levi said quietly and squeezed your hand lovingly. Talking about Hange, Erwin and the others was still very challenging, but you both wanted to remember them for the rest of your lives. So it was important to talk about them, to remember the nice memories you had with them. „Did I tell you before the surgery? The brats are coming to see us next month, Connie sent a letter.“

You smiled happily upon hearing his words. „Really? Oh, I’m so happy, I miss them all every day. I know they have their own lives and responsibilities, but I wish they could come visit us more often.“

You truly missed them – the kids, as you used to call them since your very first meeting all those years ago. Not having them around daily felt unnatural, but it made their every visit even more special.

„Do they know we’re engaged?“

„No, I haven’t mentioned it in any of the letters.“

„Me neither,“ you shook your head with a smile.

Writing letters... that and similar things were a challenge on their own. Levi was still getting used to doing activities like that with his non-dominant hand. Missing two fingers made a lot of mundane tasks unnecessarily difficult. But Levi was resilient. A man, who was able to use ODM gear, fire thunder spears and fight Titans with missing fingers, a blind eye, an injured knee, and pain unimaginable to you, would not give up over stupid little things. All he needed, was time and a little help from you, to show him how to do things differently.

„I think they’ll be happy about it,“ Levi said quietly, his voice almost too quiet compared to the relaxing sound of the waves.

„I think so too,“ you agreed and reached out your free hand. Gently, you grabbed Levi’s chin and turned his head in your direction. „You have no idea how crazy in love I am with you. More and more after each day we spend together. You truly are all that I want and need, Levi.“

He was the first to erase all the space between you, when he leaned in for a kiss, pressing his lips hard against yours. In Levi’s case, actions always spoke louder than words, mostly during such intimate moments, which showed just how much he valued, cherished, and loved you. 

[m-jelly]

hi jelly!

i hope you're doing good 👍🏻😊

i have a post war request if is it possible for you...

so after the rumbling in Marley,one when levi is using his wheelchair amd his s/o try to help him and push the wheelchair for him

levi accidentally goes on y/n's foot.

so he feels guilty and he thought his a bother but y/n comforts him

lots of fluff pretty please?

p.s:im in love with your works!

It was a nice sunny day, and Levi felt rather brave today, so he took you out on a date. How you looked in the sun with your flowing dress on captured his heart and soul. You were Levi's life and love, so he wanted to spoil you, make you smile and laugh at every moment possible.

Today you were going for a walk on a lovely path by the sea. You had made a delightful picnic with Levi's help. As you walked with a basket in hand Levi felt a little guilty that all he had was a blanket on his lap. He wanted to help you as much as possible and give you an easy life.

Levi softly called your name. "My darling love?"

You turned to him. "Yes?"

He whined a bit. "Could I take the basket?"

You looked down at the basket in your hands. "Sure, I can put it on your lap, but only if you let me push your chair."

He gulped hard. "Oh, no it's okay you don't need to."

"If you take the basket I won't have anything to do." You smiled sweetly. "Let me help."

He shifted his chair. "I want to do more for you." He gasped when he realised he'd rolled over something, he looked down to see it was your foot but you barely reacted. "I'm so sorry! You're precious foot!"

You looked down. "Oh, my foot is fine. It wasn't that bad."

"It's terrible!" He whined a bit. "Forgive me."

You placed the basket down and caressed Levi's cheek. "I'm perfectly fine."

He grabbed your waist and yanked you to sit on his lap. "Let me see."

You squeaked a bit. "Le-Levi, really I-I'm okay."

He dragged you close against him. "Please?"

You shifted. "I'm too heavy to sit on your lap."

"You're perfect."

You kissed his cheek. "Okay, let me show you." You moved on his lap and slipped your shoe off to show it was a little red. "See? Perfectly fine."

He massaged your foot and felt it. "I don't feel anything broken..."

"See? Told you I'm okay." You wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed him. "You're so sweet to worry."

"Are you sure I'm not a bother?"

You shook your head. "Not at all! Levi, I love you. I married you. I want and need you." You rubbed his chest. "You're my everything, Levi."

He hid his face against the crook of your neck. "You're mine too. I love you so much. Stay with me, forever."

"I promise I will."

He lifted his head. "I know you're okay, but please say you forgive me."

You cupped his face and kissed him. "Forgiven."

"Can I make it up to you?"

You played with his hair. "If you want. I don't have any ideas." You slipped off his lap. "But you can do anything you like."

He smiled a bit as you picked up the basket. "I'll think of something. I know you'll love it."

You slipped your shoe back on and winked. "You always do things for and to me that I love."

Levi blushed bright red. "Tch, dirty brat." He whined. "I'll get you later for that."

You giggled. "I hope so."

@ladycheesington @levisbrat25 @nyxiieluna @li-anne @galactict3a

@youre-ackermine @thebobaprincess @2moth-anon2 @cypidity @nbinairyn

@bts-spnlvr12 @darkstarlight82 @emilyyyy-08 @levistealeaf @pelicanpizza

@hideandgopeep @notgoodforlife @demonic-bird @searriously

[daddyscaddyandliquor]

super very random post about a few hcs i have for the socs !!

MARCIA :

- she does ballet and is actually really good !!

- she writes letters to people but never sends them just to soothe herself

- the biggest beatles fan to ever exist ever

- #1 paul holden hater

BEV :

- she cut her bob herself and she used to have very long hair

- literally never not at brill’s house i fear

- she (contrary to popular belief) actually does enjoy fighting

- her dream is to move to the beach and live on a beach house with brill

CHERRY :

- nancy sinatara = life

- she’s a flyer on the cheer team

- even when she’s with chet she accidentally calls him bob sometimes because unfortunately she sees bob in literally everything (especially chet’s alcoholism)

- she still has bob’s letterman jacket even years after he died

CHET :

- chocolate. he is obsessed with chocolate, if there is a chocolate flavor and it’s available it will be chosen

- he’s constantly covered in dog hair due to his dad’s k-9s (taken inspo from @sky4cherry again)

- youngest in his family 100% (and of the boys)

- bev is literally his big sister and it’s definitely totally by blood 100%

BRILL :

- only one of the guys that can truly handle his liquor

- he doesn’t mind jumping people, but prefers a ‘fair fight’

- the oldest child of his family and is actually the best big brother to grace the earth

- has had a crush on bev since middle school and even asked her to their middle school dance

BOB :

- paul is literally his actual brother wdym🤨

- once introduced marcia as his sister in front of the whole group + her and had never been more embarrassed

- he had a sickeningly huge crush on cherry before they got together

- another inspo he wears lilac because cherry one time told him he looked really good in it and now it’s suddenly his favorite color

TRIP :

- lives with his grandma and grandpa + melvin

- the best fighter in the group

- cherry and trip best friends agenda

- martrip goes downhill when he throws the first punch at two-bit in justice for tulsa (look at marley’s post about this it is SICK in the best way)

PAUL :

- sees himself in bob a LOT

- the one who taught the boys to fight

- was NOT okay when him and darry had their falling out. he became SOOO mean

- has referred to bev and marcia as “brill’s broad” and “trip’s broad” before and received two punches from two VERY angry boyfriends

lmk if i should do a greasers version !!

[sunflowersunite]

A study of Zeke's role in Levihan fanfiction

(Levihan filter on, obviously)

I want to talk about Zeke as portrayed in the various fics I've read. When Zeke shows up in a Levihan story, his role is of a love rival to Levi, courting Hange and making him jealous (and I eat it up every single time without fail). It's unrequited more often than not, Hange is usually creeped out by him, it's so funny to read.

I love that trope, okay? I love it because there is nothing in canon that suggests a romantic attraction on Zeke's part towards Hange. Zeke isn't even interested in romance, he wants to die and take everyone down with him, romance is the last thing in his mind. He even asks Armin why people would want to have kids. He just doesn't understand it.

He and Hange don't even interact! I don't remember seeing them talking, maybe they've exchanged a few words, but nothing deep about their beliefs that would build some semblance of a connection between them.

BUT. I sincerely believe that under different circumstances, Zeke would be infatuated with Hange. I mean, strong independent intelligent scientist who built those deadly thunder spears and accumulated knowledge about the titans with barely any resources and primitive technology?? If Zeke wasn't so depressed, he'd be head over heels for Hange.

What's more, ever since I found out that Hange is four years older than Zeke, I picture him having this schoolboy celebrity crush on her because she's just so cool and awesome, and he's interested in science. Their views and methods are different and they wouldn't agree on anything if they were in the same team, but for now he wants to talk to her about science.

And it's not one author who has assigned the role of the love rival to Zeke! It's agreed within a (not small) portion of the Levihan fandom. Someone saw that blond disaster nerd and said "y know what? This one would crush on Hange so hard, he's a serious rival" and we all said yes without missing a beat because even though it's not canon, it just makes sense.

(this isn't a Zekehan post, I mostly took the chance to talk about how awesome Hange is, and how Zeke would see it and totally have a crush on her, interested in science as they both are. Therefore despite him not having canonical interest in romance, this just works for me.)

Maybe in an AU, when Eren goes to Marley and meets Zeke in the hospital, Zeke kind of directs the conversation towards Hange and asks stuff about her. And Eren just stares at him deadpan because yeah, no, Hange's taken mate. (and he wouldn't let his brother hit on his adoptive mother commander)

Consequentially, Levi's hatred towards Zeke is fuelled by annoyance because Zeke lowkey wants to fangirl to Hange about her accomplishments in Paradis while she was locked in the walls. Hange is super not interested, seeing as he killed Erwin, but she ends up talking to him because he knows about titans. Levi glares daggers at Zeke the whole time and pulls Hange out of there first chance he gets. (I live for jealous slightly possessive Levi, like a disgruntled cat)

In conclusion: I'm all in for love rival Zeke if he makes Levi jealous (and if Hange low-key or high-key doesn't want to be there, it's so funny watching her being all stiff around him) because it makes sense

[damn-stark]

Chapter 35 Can’t catch me now

Final chapter of Cherry

A/N: Thank you, I’m going to cry now that it’s over

Warning- FLUFF, mentions of pregnancy and birth complications, angst, and swearing

Takes place during- The final chapters special 2

Pairing- Jean Kirstein x fem!reader

————

What does he mean by talk?

Does he have a girlfriend back in Marley? One Connie, Levi, or Pieck mentioned?

Or maybe he’s going to say that he’s totally just over you. He doesn’t love you anymore.

You can’t take it, the anxiety is killing you.

“You look nice,” you interject and hide your nervousness well. “I like your hair, it’s different, it’s good.” You peer over your shoulder and flash Jean a smile.

He meets your gaze and a soft smirk tugs on his lips. “Thanks. You look nice now—I mean you look beautiful, but nice because the last time I saw you, you looked—”

“Bad?” You say to him with a small teasing smile.

Jean squints and parts his lips to argue, but you cut in again.

“It’s okay, it’s true,” you assure him. “I was in a bad place. Now I’m not. I’m okay now. Better than good actually, I’m great.”

You slide the door open to a secluded cabin on the train and walk in first before he follows you inside and closes the door behind him, letting you finally face each other.

“So I’ve read,” he says.

You study his handsome face and smile wider. “You look very nice. Is that okay to say?” You ask to get what you want to know from him. “Or should I hold back because of a special someone?” You wiggle your eyebrows and hope it isn't true.

Jean scoffs and shakes his head. “Nah…I tried it,” he admits, and you feel your heart clench—“but none of them worked out, I guess,” he rolls out and glances at the ground as he puts his hands in his pockets. “They weren’t you.”

Your heart skips a beat and your eyes widen. “What?” You gasp with disbelief.

Jean looks up at you and exhales deeply before he pulls his hands out and strides over to you with confidence. “I know I’ve been an ass and not written, but I wanted to give you space.”

“Jean,” you try to interject, but he grabs your shoulders and looks at you with a soft look that makes your face begin to burn.

“Listen okay?” He continues and looks into your eyes. “I love you, I always will no matter what, but I don’t want to just be your friend. I can’t be just a friend. I can be your best friend if we’re together, but I can’t live my life and pretend that we didn’t live a life together. That I didn’t love you with my entire being. I can't do that, I'm not that big of a person.”

Tears fill your eyes, but they’re not born from an ache, they’re tears of disbelief and shock.

“So,” he goes on softly and slowly places his hands on your cheeks. “That’s why I'm saying it now, it might be brazen and too much for you, but it’s the truth and if I didn’t say it I would be bothered and mean, you don’t deserve that. And well,” he sighs. “Too much shit has happened for us to be patient, and I’m afraid that if I continue to be patient, I won’t be able to say what has been stuck in my throat for years.”

You smile softly and gently slide your hands over to hold his arms. “Jean,” you whisper. “I love you. I do. I never stopped loving you. I never thought about anyone else but you, but,” you cut in and make his breath falter. “You can’t rush into this. We’ve hardly talked over the past 3 years, I don’t know you anymore. You don’t know me. We know a past of each other, but not who we turned into. You understand? I mean what if you don’t even like who I am now? I don’t want you to waste your time with me, I—”

“Shut up,” Jean cuts you off and pulls you closer to him, making your breath hitch and your eyes fall on his lips—“Just shut up you’re talking nonsense. All you’re saying is crap because I do know you,” he says. “I’ve read all the letters you sent me. All the letters you sent our friends, and I’m looking at you now and all I see is my future. I’ve fought for a long time, I know life isn’t long, and I don’t want to wait. We can get to know each other as we date. Just please be with me. I miss you.”

Your bottom lip trembles and all you feel is your heart race as butterflies flutter like crazy inside you.

Your life doesn’t feel complete because Levi still isn’t with you, but you feel safe and like the stars finally returned to orbit to give light to the world. Yes, you did heal from your deep wounds without him, you couldn’t have him with you, but the one thing that didn’t change throughout it all was your feelings for him; they burn just as hot, and drive you just as crazy as the first time.

“I miss you too,” you redirect sweetly. “I love you too. I’ve only loved you, I will only love you. I can’t love anyone else but you,” you confess, making him smile and lean in.

Yet just as you’re going to relish in the taste of his lips finally on yours, a knock raps on the door.

“Y/N?”

Eric?

Eric!

“What do you want?” You sneer and don’t bother to open the door right away.

“Ben is looking for you. He says it’s urgent.”

You groan and look at Jean one last time. “Let’s continue this later, hm?” You ask.

Jean sighs deeply and has no choice but to give in. “Fine. Just,” he trails off and slams his lips on yours to give you one quick but deep kiss before he pulls back to open the door for you.

“Hey man,” Eric greets Jean with a smug smile.

You storm out of the room and Eric follows after you.

“Why are you still mad, huh? Did I interrupt something?”

When you step out to the main cabin you stop in front of Ben and quickly interject. “What do you want?”

Ben looks away from Reiner and slowly looks at you with concern. “Do you have an extra pack of cigarettes? I left mine in my other coat.”

You clench your fist and give him a tightlipped smile. “That was urgent?” You say through gritted teeth.

Ben nods and glances at Jean sitting down before looking back at you and giving you a cheeky smile. “Yes.”

“I do not carry cigarettes because the last box you had me carry you finished last week. Am I done now?” You sneer. “Or?”

Ben glances at Eric sitting down next to him and they share a look before he nods. “Yeah.”

You let out a deep huff and turn to return to your seat. Jean tries to settle down next to you, but you quickly throw your arms over the empty seat. “Sorry, this seat is taken,” you let him know sweetly.

Jean turns and looks at you with a pointed look. “What do you mean? It’s empty,” he points out.

“It’s Honey’s seat,” you sass him. “She demands to have her own seat. Sorry.” You smile and point at the seat across from you “You can sit there. Mikasa is with Armin. And Eric—”

Just as you say his name your brother slides in the seat across from you as if trying to cockblock Jean from even looking at you.

“…is there,” you finish under your breath and then look back at Jean still baffled by your cat's privileges.

“You’re not serious,” Jean retorts.

“She’s so serious,” Eric rebuttals for you. “Her cat thinks it’s royalty or something. It’s weird.”

Jean glances at your brother and then at the empty seat, and is going to ignore you, but just as he’s going to sit down, your brown cat comes over and hops back on her seat next to yours. She sees Jean too close so she looks at him with her green eyes and lets out a long meow.

“See,” you exclaim with a smirk. “Her own seat. I don’t make the rules.” You shrug.

Jean rolls his eyes and picks up the cat, making her let out an annoyed meow.

“I bought you damn thing now hold it before I accidentally sit on it,” he sasses and plops the cat on your lap as you watch him sit down with bewilderment.

Over the past 2 years, you've been breaking your head wondering, and constantly asking Levi and the others to reveal who gifted you the cat, but no one would say a thing.

Sure sometimes you did think Jean was the one, but since he barely wrote you back he quickly fell off that list. For some time you thought it was Reiner since he seemed to still be fawning over you, but he would’ve said it, so your guess was Levi or Mikasa, but they never said a thing so you were left wondering for 2 years. And now you finally know, and you should’ve known.

“You got her for me?” You probe softly as you hold onto Honey.

Jean drifts his gaze to the corner of his eyes and looks at you as if it’s no big deal. “Yeah,” he responds nonchalantly. “Made Mikasa pick her out to give it to you.”

You scoff softly in disbelief and lean closer to him. “Why didn’t you say so?” You press him.

Jean shrugs. “I was. The cat is a…apology present for how I acted before you left, but then at the last minute,” he sighs. “I chickened out and thought it was better if you didn’t know until I saw you.”

Your heart skips a beat and your smile tugs to a grin before you quickly let go of the cat to lean over and throw your arms around Jean.

It's kind of an awkward hug since you're sitting side by side, but you still hold onto him.

“Thank you,” you whisper softly and gently run your fingers through the ends of his hair, making him shiver and squeeze you gently.

“I knew you'd like it,” he whispers in your ear as he tilts his head closer to you to draw in a small breath as he catches a whiff of your fragrance clinging to your skin. “You smell nice,” he shares.

You smirk and slide your hands down to feel his biceps hiding under his suit. “You do too,” you redirect smugly before you pull back and hug your cat again.

“You know,” Eric adds and taps the table in between you and him. “Back in the city, there’s this guy named Fedric, who is heads over heels for my sister here.”

“Eric,” you try to cut him off.

“No, no, just listen,” he ignores you and smirks. “He’s, like, tall, and buff and has crazy blue eyes. I’m telling her to give it a shot, but she refused. Maybe, you,” he points at Jean. “Can advise her otherwise, considering you’re her best friend.” He shrugs.

You glare at your brother and kick him in the shin under the table, he flinches, but he keeps on a straight face.

“Why don’t you date him,” Jean rebuttals sassily. “Considering the way you’re describing him.”

You snort and smile at your brother, but Eric doesn’t share the same enthusiasm, he fakes laughs instead and mutters. “Funny, funny.”

You snicker at him and then turn to continue talking to Jean. “I hope you got enough sleep—”

“Hey!” Connie cuts in and slides into the empty seat next to Eric. “Does your cat have a diamond hanging off her collar, or am I going crazy?”

You lift your cat and nod. “Yeah, she does. Isn’t she so pretty?” You smile.

Connie squints and then he bursts out laughing. “You’re so weird! It’s a cat!”

You roll your eyes and set your cat down on your lap. “So?” You quip. “What's your point?”

“My point is that it’s an animal,” he explains himself. “It’s weird that you put that shit on her.”

You don’t get his point nor do you want to spend your time arguing, so you drop the subject and return to what you didn’t finish saying. “Anyway! I hope you guys got enough sleep, you guys have a busy schedule today. Plus, a little welcome back celebration hosted by me.”

“What?” Connie gasps.

You smile proudly and nod. “Yeah, after you get finished with all your introduction meetings, we’ll go get ready, have dinner, and then go to a cantina. How fun is that?” You exclaim.

“It was supposed to be a surprise,” Eric mutters. “Mikasa is going to get annoyed.”

You flick your wrist to wave him off. “It’s okay. I planned it. I couldn’t hold it in! There’s gonna be dancing, music, old military friends, new friends we’ve made, and drinks. It’s gonna be fun! And who knows Connie, maybe finally you’ll become a man tonight.” You smile sweetly and bat your lashes.

Connie snickers. “Cherry girl, I am a man. I left many ladies crying back in Marley.”

You scrunch your nose in disgust as you don’t find this funny anymore. “That’s gross.”

“You started it,” he snaps.

You groan and glance over at Jean to ask if it’s the same for him, but you catch him already looking at you with a soft smile on his face that makes you wonder.

“What?” You query.

Jean blinks in surprise as he snaps from his stupor, but he doesn’t grow flustered, or lose his smile, he simply shakes his head and interjects softly. “Nothing. You’ve just changed, that's all.”

Your face begins to burn and you’re the one that grows flustered now. “Well,” you whisper. “Yeah.” You laugh and nod. “Yeah. And you don’t stutter anymore. You used to stutter. Is it all the practice back in Marley?” You tease him.

Jean scoffs and grows cocky. “Natural talent, that's all.”

You giggle and shake your head. “Natural talent my ass. I know you, you’re not as smooth as you think you are.”

“Am so,” he quips and tries to slide his hand around your seat's headrest, but his arm slips and falls on your shoulders. He quickly tries to recover but it was too late you proved your point.

“Super smooth,” you say sarcastically.

Jean shrugs and nudges your shoulder with his fingers hovering over it. “You like it.”

You can't help but smile as you look away. And the moment you do you catch both Connie and Eric watching Jean and you with disgust, so you ignore their negativity and just look out the window with a happy smile on your face.

Levi is still missing but you feel content, and your heart feels at ease with the rest of your family finally back home.

——

*LATER THAT NIGHT*

After a long day of waiting for Jean and the others to go through their long meetings, and after a short and kind of chaotic dinner you’re finally living through the part of the night you’ve looked forward to all day, considering you weren’t in their dreadful meetings.

You can’t say that you can party like when you were a soldier—it’s not that you don’t enjoy it, you just can’t bring yourself to get your mind too clouded just in case, but! You do enjoy the music and the vibe!

You just have to back away when Connie and your brother Eric try to force more wine down your throat.

“Jean can do it, I believe you,” you throw him under so he can take your place.

“Hey! Hey!” Connie exclaims and points his finger at you. “Those are not the rules. Coin flipped on you, you, drink!”

He's incredibly drunk.

“Hey, hey!” Eric cuts in and stands up. “You can’t force my sister to drink!” He exclaims and faces Connie with a pointed look.

“Whoa—”

“I can! Drink girl!” He shouts at you and swings his cup at you, causing Connie to burst out laughing.

“That’s what I'm talking about!” Connie exclaims and jumps up to throw his arm around Eric, making them both sway.

You roll your eyes but you still can’t help but smile softly over the fact that they’re getting along well.

However, you use this moment that they’re distracted to back away and escape before they keep pressing you to drink, leaving Jean to deal with them instead.

Sure there’s only so many places to hide in a small place, but you keep moving in between the crowd and actually catch Armin and Mikasa trying to dance along to the music. However, they’re tipsy so it’s not going well.

And luckily they don’t notice you so you keep moving along, but stop when you spot Reiner all by himself in some secluded corner of the cantina.

You haven’t talked to him since he got here, and you’ve been meaning to. You’ve been dreading it but you want to talk to him—should you though?

Yes! You’ve grown up, matured, pondered, and had three years to be upset! You need to make peace with this. He’s the last piece left.

So you walk over to him and casually sit beside him as you keep your eyes on Mikasa and Armin dancing.

“There’s a lot of pretty women out there,” you interject and smile proudly upon seeing your cousin's joy—“Why aren't you dancing? Do you have a girlfriend back in Marley?”

Reiner scoffs. “No,” he mutters. “I can’t seem to find the right one…” he trails off and you feel his stare on you. “You, do you have a…boyfriend?” He whispers hesitantly.

You shake your head. “No, but…” you sigh and glance at Jean, and catch him looking back at you. “…I have my eye on someone.”

You smile at Jean and look away to finally look at Reiner who hasn’t taken his eyes off you.

“Hm,” he hums and averts his gaze to clear his throat before he changes the subject. “Uh, how are you? I mean with everything. The reason why you left,” he says.

You let out a deep breath and shrug. “I’m…fine,” you hesitate to answer. “I’m not angry anymore,” you mention and continue because regardless of other things, he was still there. Once. But enough to motivate you to escape.

“I have nightmares here and there, they won’t go away. And sometimes…it crawls up on me, the fear that someone is around trying to get me…but,” you sigh and smile softly. “I’m okay now. I’m actually doing quite a lot with Historia and my brothers for the Underground. So I’m good.”

A small smile crawls on Reiner’s lips and he nods softly. “That’s good. I’m happy for you,” he says softly and averts his gaze.

“Thank you,” you whisper and shift in your seat to face him with determination to finally address the one thing that matters between him and you. “Reiner.”

Said man slowly meets your gaze and seems to look hopeful.

“I…can forgive you,” you jump straight to the point so he doesn’t get some false expectations about where this is going. “I can forgive you for taking away my best friend. I can forgive you for looking me in the eye all those times and lying to me, I can forgive you because I don’t want to hate you. Because I don’t want that in my heart anymore, but,” exhale deeply and look at him with a long frown. “I won’t forget. I’ll never forget what you did. And I know it might be stupid maybe, petty, but you still lied, and you still took him away from me. He was my best friend. I loved him,” your voice quivers. “And I…liked you, and it hurt.”

Reiner looks as if he was just shot, even though he expected you to say this, your words still wound him and finally make him realize that he and you will always live in the past.

“I’m sorry,” he mutters and scoots forward, making you raise your chin and nod in comprehension.

“Yes, I know you are and I forgive you. I can see us maybe being friends, but nothing else,” you admit the truth. “Do you understand?” You probe so he can get the right idea and not be delusional.

“I,” he breathes out heavily. “I understand.”

You offer him a kind smile and nod. “Good. That’s all I wanted to hear.”

Reiner looks away and quickly cuts in bluntly. “Do you love him?”

You blink in confusion and follow his line of gaze to see him looking at Jean walking over here.

“I…do,” you respond honestly and look back at Reiner curiously. “Why?” You ask.

Reiner snaps his eyes to you and leans forward to grab your hand and offer you a small smile. “Does he make you happy?” He asks.

You laugh softly. “We aren’t together at the moment, but, yes…why?” You probe.

Reiner draws in a deep breath and his smile falters. “That’s all I ask. That’s all I want for you. Even if it’s not with me.”

A pitiful frown tugs on your face. “Reiner,” you whisper.

Said man tugs his smile wider. “I’m happy for you, y/n. I really am. I hope you get everything you want out of life.”

You genuinely smile and nod. “You too, Reiner,” you redirect kindly. “You deserve it.”

Reiner breathes hitches and his smile falters, but he doesn’t break. Especially because Jean reaches the table.

“Sorry, Reiner but I need to talk to y/n,” Jean cuts in, making you let go of Reiner’s hand to twist around slowly and look at him with a quirked brow.

“Need to?” You inquire.

Jean meets your gaze and nods. “I’m not asking. Let’s go.”

Your heart skips a beat and you offer Reiner one last smile before you follow Jean outside.

“What is this about?” You probe without waiting to be away from all the noise. “Are you going to propose to me after our first day back together?” You tease and glance up at the sky, noticing the thick clouds that are quickly rolling in across the canvas, but missing the way he slowly steals a look at you.

“You know,” you add with a smile. “It’s good you didn’t have a girlfriend because I visit your mom often and have occasional lunches with her. It'd be weird.”

Jean scoffs softly. “Well it’s not really your fault, she loves you,” he reminds you of the fact. “She’d be nagging you and me if you didn’t visit.”

You look down at him and smile softly. Jean holds your gaze, and you grow the need to remind him how much you missed him even though the only time you’ve been apart since he’s gotten back was when he was in a meeting room. “I’ve missed you, Jean. I’ve missed talking to you. I…I’ve missed you.”

Jean’s lips curl to a smile. “I’ve missed you too,” he doesn’t hesitate to return to you. “Now come on, just a bit further.”

You shoot him a puzzled look but don’t question him, you just hook your arm around his, and enjoy the peace in the silence at this time of night. You relish in the moist smell of incoming rain and smile at the feeling of his surreal presence.

“You know I think Ben really likes me,” Jean interjects making you look back at him. “Eric though…I think I need to work on him.”

You giggle. “Why?” You mess with him. “We aren’t dating or anything.”

Jean stops, forcing you to do the same and look at him with a playful smirk.

“No? So what are we then?” He quips.

You shrug. “You tell me,” you counter sweetly.

Jean swallows thickly and glances down before he grabs your face and leans in to slam his lips on yours, causing you to gasp softly out of shock, even though you crave the taste of his lips.

He then pulls away to cut off this interaction, but you pull him back in to really remind yourself of the feeling of his soft lips that desperately fall in sync with yours before he takes control and leads you in for an open-mouth kiss, as if he had been starving.

Then again you can’t say you’re any different, you throw your hands around his neck and run them up to clutch onto his hair to keep his mouth on yours as you tease him for a moment, before you slide your tongue over his bottom lip for him to take it in and suck on it as his hands grab onto your face.

You try to make a sound, but he takes your breath away and all you can manage to do is pull away to catch your breath, making him lean in to press gentle kisses on the corner of your mouth.

“Jean,” you whisper between pants.

Said man pulls back and licks his lips as he holds your gaze with a darkened gaze full of lust. “What about now?” He rebuttals. “Do you know what we are now?”

You glance at his lips and smirk as you shrug again. “Tell me.”

Jean grabs your chin and tilts your head up so you can meet his gaze. “You’re mine,” he clarifies. “No amount of space or time ever changed that. Sure I was upset, but I was stupid, and now I know you leaving was for the best,” he admits. “Because look at you. I’m proud of you, my love.”

Your eyes water and your smile trembles as your heart fills with bliss.

“And I like to think I’m a better man too,” he continues. “I’ve grown, matured, and I’m finally ready for a commitment that I was not ready for then.”

You grin and he leans in to press a soft kiss on your forehead before he steps back and slides his hand down to grab yours and tug you with him. “Come,” he points up the road.

However, just as you take a step in that direction drops of rain begin to sprinkle down, making Jean stop and look up.

“We have to hurry,” he cuts in.

Alas, that sprinkle changes to a pour that makes Jean let your hand go and drop his head.

“What?” You quire and grab his arm. “What's wrong? It’s just rain.”

Jean slowly looks up and shakes his head with an annoyed look on his face. “No,” he argues. “I had this entire thing planned with the stars, flowers, and all the stuff you like, but it’s ruined now because of the rain!”

You glance up up but quickly look back down when rain falls in your eyes, and beam at Jean through the thick raindrops. “I like the rain! I like the sound, and I like the sight of it when the light reflects over it for a second before it hits the ground!” You assure him through the pattering. “So, it’s okay!”

You tug him to continue forward, but he doesn’t budge, instead, he stays there and you notice his lips are parted and he’s looking at you with a softened gaze that makes you confused.

“What?” You ask. “What’s wrong?”

Jean's smile wobbles before he blurts, “marry me!”

Your confusion falls and you gasp.

Jean continues to grab your hands and falls on one knee. “I-I know this is our first day back together, we have a lot to catch up on, but I don’t want to waste any more of my time without you,” he exclaims. “I love you. Deeply. I can’t imagine my life without you in it, actually, every time I picture my life, you’re in it. I want to spend the future we fought so hard for to be spent with you. Forever. So please…marry me,” he whispers.

You wipe the tears and the rain off your face, but it’s pointless because more tears and rain stream down your face, leaving you drenched. So you just proceed to throw yourself on him and cry on his shoulder out of pure joy your heart is oozing out.

“Yes,” you cry happily. “I do. I want to spend my life with you too! I want forever with you.” You pull back and grab his wet face, “I love you, Jean Kirstein. You are my sun, you are my moon and my stars. Without you, it’d be like living underground in the dark again. So yes, I want forever with you too.”

Tears mix with the rain on Jean's face and his smile turns to a wide grin before he seals your distance with a passionate kiss, assuring you both of your desires.

——

*15 YEARS LATER*

The air underground isn’t as thick and suffocating as it once was. That stench of moisture, piss, and dirt has somewhat disappeared—that or you’ve grown used to the smell after thirty years.

Then again you would have heard complaints by now if it reeked under here. They wouldn't have kept quiet about that.

Regardless, the darkness underground doesn’t lurk in every corner like before. The houses that once stood tall are left abandoned and only used for criminals and the homeless.

6 years ago thanks to Historia’s help, your brothers, and you were finally able to give everyone a better life they deserve, a chance to live a longer life and not be stuck underground because of greedy people who got your ancestors stuck down here in the first place. Now only criminals run their businesses down here in a crumbling abandoned society.

And the only reason you’re down here is because you want to show your children where you and Levi were born, and that life can be tough but you can move past it, like Levi and Furlan did with you and their lives. Sure your kids don’t like the idea of being down here in a dirty place, they’re used to the sun on their skin, the grass under their toes, and the wind unfurling over their flesh. All they grew up with was a life of full bellies, common colds under warm beds, and attainable medicine. Jean nor you ever let them know suffering.

“When are we leaving? Eirene is coming over today!” You hear your first complaint, and of course, it’s from your six-year-old daughter, Star. She’s just like Jean. Even if Levi says she’s Kenny’s twin, in both appearance and personality.

Which, you don’t know if you should be offended by that or not. He’s your father, but there were also many things wrong with him.

“Aunt Mikasa and your cousin Eirene are not coming over until way later,” you correct Star. “We’ll be back home by then, so,” you sigh. “Why don’t you come help your grandpa here, hm?”

Levi peers over at you with a side glare, so you counter with a smirk.

“Okay!” Star exclaims and leaves her father's side to run over and throw herself on Levi’s lap which is the opposite of what you wanted her to do.

“Girl,” you argue, “that’s not—”

“It’s okay,” Levi cuts you off. “She’s fine.”

“Yeah,” Star groans and lays her head back against Levi’s shoulder. “He’s too heavy, I can’t push him. My arms will break! They almost did so yesterday.”

Jean and you share a teasing look, and just as you're going to play along, someone else cuts in.

“That’s impossible! You can’t break your arms by pushing a wheelchair, isn’t that right, pa?”

Levi shrugs. “I don’t know Lucian, I saw it happen once. But I also saw someone’s hands fall off because they were lazy.”

Lucian, your ten-year-old snickers, whilst Star’s jaw drops.

“That’s impossible,” she argues this time with a pout. “Right…dad?” She peers over at the man walking by your side and her blue eyes fill with worry.

Yet he does a horrible job at consoling her in between his stifled laughs. “Yeah,” he assures her. “Not true…maybe.”

Star sees through his mask hiding his stifled laugh and glares at him before she turns around and hugs Levi’s neck.

“You need a better poker face,” you scold Jean. “You suck and I’m a bad liar.”

Jean clears his throat and shifts the baby in his arms to his other side to let his eyes fully take you in. “I didn’t start it.”

“Yeah and we both know she can’t take it,” you rebuttal.

Jean laughs at the ground before he looks at the baby on his hip to offer her a teasing smile.

“No one appreciates a good joke do they?” He talks to the 8-month-old baby watching him with her deep brown eyes wide-eyed, and full of curiosity. “Will you?” He asks and scratches her little chin, making her laugh.

You smile in awe and grab his arm to lean over towards your baby. “Is your daddy being mean to you, Marceline? Tickling your cute chins, hm?”

The baby coos and stretches her fat arms over to try and grab you, but Jean hugs her against him so you wouldn’t take his little girl from him.

Marceline squeals and pushes herself up to hook her arms around his neck, making Jean press a kiss on her tiny dark curls.

And it seems she knows the reaction she got and what it means because she snuggles her face in the crook of his neck like she tends to do when he gives her any kind of affection. She just loves Jean, even if he and you aren't her biological parents.

Actually, you adopted her not so long ago, six years after the doctor told you that having a third baby would kill you due to your weak immune system. That was actually the reason why you were left in a bad state for weeks after you had Star.

Jean said he didn't want to put your life at risk and live through his worst fear, so you opted for adopting a few months back. And albeit you did worry that she wouldn’t be able to bond with either of you because of the lack of blood connection, you were proven wrong; the three of you instantly connected, and Star and Lucian didn't fail to do the same. Albeit it did take Star some time to get used to her new sister…she…hated her for some time.

But now! She adores her, even if she gets jealous of all the attention the baby gets.

“That’s no fair,” you complain and hug your husband's arm. “She likes you better.”

Jean turns his head to drop his eyes on you and shakes his head with a smirk tugging on his lips nonetheless. “You know that’s not true...but, it’s probably true.”

You know well it’s all a joke, you just like to tease him like now as you roll your eyes, and he reacts by throwing his other arm around your shoulders to keep you at his side the closer you get to your destination.

“But,” Jean whispers. “You’re my favorite girl.”

You can’t help the smile that tugs on your lips, and your heart from skipping a beat. “Good save,” you retort and slide your arm around his waist. “Smooth.”

Jean chuckles lightly. “Always am.”

You giggle and pull away to skip ahead when you approach the rock. The special rock under the gap on the ground that welcomes the sun inside, that was once a shining hope for Levi, Furlan, Isabel, and you.

“We’re here,” you announce proudly and turn to face your family.

Star studies the area and when she sees nothing but dirt and a rock, she scrunches her nose in disgust. “Ew,” she groans.

“Star,” Lucian scolds her. “That’s not nice.”

Your daughter ignores her brother and interjects. “What is this?”

You spin around and rush over to climb on the rock, finding it easier to climb it than when you were a little girl.

“This!” You exclaim happily. “Is a window into my past when Levi and I lived down here.”

You proceed to look around and see that a part of the ceiling has caved in so the gap is more like a decline that lets you come and go outside as you please, and that lets the sunlight shine brighter inside than ever before.

“Why here?” Lucian asks out of genuine curiosity.

“Well,” you sigh. “Back when I was young, people who lived underground couldn’t just go above ground. We needed special permits to live up there. And a lot of people here didn’t have the money, or the right connections to get those, so the only piece we had of the outside world was through gaps. Just like this one.”

Lucian glances up at the gap, making his light brown eyes gleam because of the sun's beam casting inside.

“You’d be here too, Pa?” Star asks Levi.

“Hm,” he agrees and picks up Star to get off his chair and walk towards the rock. “Your mom would love coming here. So we tried to come every weekend.”

Star stares hard at the gap, and Lucian finally breaks away from his spot to climb on with you.

“Do you think Uncle Eric and Uncle Ben came here?” Lucian asks.

You shrug as you take a seat. “I don’t know. We’ll have to ask….what do you think of this?”

Lucian studies his surroundings and he’s not as brazen as Star, you can see the wheels behind his turning as he tries to figure out something nice to say.

“It’s not the best place, not what you’re used to,” you whisper. “But you see that?” You point at the puddle of water across the rock. “At night when the moonlight hits here, all the puddles glimmer, and in the spring, because of the rain, clovers, moss, and wildflowers sprout on the dirt under the gap, and on the rock. In the winter, snow collects inside and people would come to enjoy it even if it was cold.”

Lucian looks at you and flashes you a sweet smile. You grin at him and ruffle his light brown hair.

“I don’t get it,” Star interjects.

“There’s nothing to get,” Levi rebuttals.

Star groans and drops out of Levi’s arms to run to the decline and look up at the sky for a moment before she smiles and runs above ground.

“Sorry,” Jean says as if it’s his fault she doesn’t get the appeal, but you’re glad she doesn’t.

“Well,” Lucian struggles to say. “It’s nice.”

You laugh softly and without having to be told you point your head outside. “You can go too.”

Lucian's eyes widen with guilt, so you offer him an assuring smile. “Go,” you insist. “It’s okay. We’ll be out in a minute.”

Lucian grins at you and quickly slides off the rock to chase after his sister and leave this cave.

“Well I think Marceline likes it,” Jean interjects and stands at the side of the rock.

You look down and just as you’re going to comment, a distant cry breaks in the air, and you know it comes from Star, so Jean and you share a knowing look.

“I’ll go,” he says. “Take the baby.”

You drag yourself to the edge and reach down to take the baby from Jean’s arms.

“Mommy! Daddy!” Star cries out, making Jean shout back.

“I’m goin’!”

You watch Jean jog out of the cave, and lose his figure when he’s above ground. You keep quiet and wait until you don’t hear Star stop crying when Jean tends to her to look down at your baby girl.

“You like it?” You ask her.

Marceline blinks and then begins to gnaw on her own fist.

“Cute,” Levi deadpans.

You snort and look back at him, and catch him carefully climbing up to join your side and look up at the blue sky thousands of miles above you.

“They don’t get it,” he says softly.

You turn Marceline around and let out a soft sigh. “No,” you say. “But I’m glad they don’t…it means we did good…right?”

Levi slides his hands in his pockets and nods in agreement. “Yeah. You did.”

“We did,” you correct him. “You won this war too. We did good. They don’t have to find beauty in this cave to try and stay hopeful. We fought for that.”

Levi hums and peers are you. “Why did you ask if you already know the answer?” He asks with a small smile.

You shrug. “I just wanted your opinion, but I should’ve known better.” You laugh softly and watch the sun ray that shines over the rock, and catch a beautiful orange and black monarch butterfly flutter inside.

“Would you look at that?” You muse to Marceline.

The baby is obvious to the insect until it surprisingly lands on her arm and startles her.

“It’s okay,” you coo. “It won’t hurt you.”

Marceline begins to breathe heavily as her eyes stay trained on the butterfly, but then she abruptly reaches for it.

Luckily though you catch her arm before she can snatch the delicate creature. “Careful,” you warn her sweetly and with a laugh. “Gentle. You have to be kind,” you whisper. “Remember that?”

Marceline shrieks and scares the butterfly away. She doesn’t let that discourage her though and squeals as she leans over to try and capture the butterfly already too far from her grasp.

“It’s gone,” you tell her. “Why don’t you say goodbye, Hm? Goodbye, butterfly.”

Marceline stays quiet for a moment as her eyes follow the butterfly out of the cave. And only once it’s out does she begin to open and close her hand as she mumbles. “Buh-byyy.”

You giggle and nod. “Yes! Good!” You encourage her and look up at Levi with pride before you look back at your daughter as she keeps her hand out as she notices the sunlight dancing on her chubby fingers.

“That’s the sun,” you let her know and put your own palm out.

Marceline glances at the sun on your palm and slaps her hand against yours as if trying to capture it.

“No, silly,” you interject. “It’s the sunlight. You can’t get it. Trust me I’ve tried.”

Marceline studies her hand and slowly turns it before putting her palm over yours so the sun would kiss her hand again.

“Sunlight,” try to make her say it. “Sunlight.”

Marceline giggles and doesn’t dare move her hand so the sun can keep clinging onto her, making you look at her with pride, whilst Levi looks down at the both of you in awe.

This is all he wanted. For you to have a good life, to be happy.

You have that now and much more. He sees that every day and all he can feel is pride and awe for you. He feels grateful that you had a chance to have the world. And yes, it started a bit painful, you knew suffering for some time, but you have all he wanted you to have, love, a future, a legacy, pure joy, and hope and he’s grateful for that every day he sees you.

However, what brings the most pride is that he kept his promise to Kenny, and himself, he took care of you. And that’s why you are and will always be his favorite achievement. You are his pride, his joy, and his hope. Forever.

.

.

.

.

A/N- Thank you, thank you and thank you a hundred more times to everyone who came along in journey with me and supported this fanfic series!! I really hope you all liked the ending, and I will always be grateful to all of you!! I hope to keep seeing you all around!!

Tagged- @expectoscamander @greenygreenland @that-soft-lesbian-friend @dai-tsukki-desu @usernamehere91 @avocadopoosae @romancried @victor-criss-bish @moo-moo-meadow @stareatceiling @padfootii @ravensleepyeyes @thanosisadilf @dawneee @babyyblueey @leahseclipse @ifimnotabushimnoone @luvelyxp @ameliabs-world @dragon-master-kai

[moonspirit]

Hey moon! I hope you are feeling good!

How would a friendly game of truth or dare with our ambassadors look? 🤔

Pretty disastrous? xD

Partly because I think a game of truth and dare between the ambassadors is more likely to be filled with blatant lies, immediate exposés, a whole lot of embarrassment, and some very bad-very-awful-very-weird dares.

To put it shortly: nobody's fucking telling the truth on their own.

Certainly not Armin. He has no truths to even say, his life's been largely boring (if we take out Eren and Mikasa and all the titans and his trauma and his fears and his insecurities and-). What do you think he's even got if he chooses "truth" and is then asked "your first kiss?" He'd probably say "my mother when I was eight but then she uh... died."

.....

Yeah....

Annie has one-word answers to everything because she's very tough and stoic like that. "The first dressy dress you wore?" "Never did." "Who was your crush on Marley?" "Nobody." "Your first kiss?" "....." "Come on Annie, spill!" "....." "Annie!" "A.... Arumih~"

*cue: two blonde idiots letting off steam and then fainting because they're both embarrassed*

Connie chooses dares because why not! WhY NOT! He carries them all out with stunning grace and courage too... until something or the other goes wrong riiiiiiiiight before he can claim victory. "I choose... DARE!" "Alright then. Howl like a wolf on the stage outside. Curtains don't rise for another half hour." "SURE!" So he goes, all pomp and joy and begins to howl on the empty, dark stage where the Ambassadors are due for a public appearance. Only problem: the mic is on.

Jean THINKS he can get away with lying at all the really icky Truth questions (because he's too suave for dares, ofc). He THINKS he can just lie, but he forgets... there are two guys in the room who know allllll about his whole goddamned life on Paradis. "Truth." "Okay so, who was your best one-night stand?" "Heh. You'll have to define "best". I've had many bests." *Armin and Connie share a dubious look* "Let's go with most-memorable then." "Hmm... Sara." "Who's Sara?" "This girl from our 104th. You wouldn't remember her. She chose the Garrisson." *Armin and Connie blink for a sec, and then begin to snort and giggle* Jean is annoyed. "What?" "Sara... Oh yeah... I remember Sara." "Suuuuuuure, the one-night stand with Sara." He glares at the two guys. "Wtf? It was great." Connie is shaking with laughter. "Sara propositioned you, Jean, but YOU WERE TOO SCARED TO FOLLOW! YOU RAN! YOU HID IN THE BATHS!"

RIP Jean Kirstein.

Pieck is effortlessly gliding out of answering anything that gets thrown at her because she's ✨ smort ✨ like that. "Truuuuthhh~" "The most embarrassing thing you've ever done." "Hmm, it can't compare to what Jean did last week, can it Jean?" *Everyone is immediately distracted by whatever Jean did last week*

Yay <3

But also I think if she were put up to carry out dares, she'd do them beautifully and also strangers would let her go scot-free even during the annoying ones because of her very immaculate happy-go-lucky-eccentric-fairy-godmother vibes.

Reiner tho... oh REINER. He chooses dares because he's the very reliable-brave-big-brother figure right? There's nothing HE can't do, right? He's got to set an example, RIGHT? "Hahaha! I choose dare!" "Cool. Eat a banana seductively."

Instant, collossal -100000 HP damage. Reiner eats the banana so seductively and sensually everybody is disgusted with his little gay ass.

[thestartax]

Armin Arlert x Reader

Synopsis: you’ve been in Marley for a couple months now , you’re finally seeing Armin again

Tropes: long hug, eye contact, pre-existing relationships, yes the lowercase is intentional, first person pronouns because it’s you

i’ve been in marley for a couple of months now. i’ve only risked contact with eren once. he made me promise to not ruin this mission, he said he had everything in place to make it work. still, i didn’t love the idea that he was bringing everyone here to, very suddenly, bring ruination upon this town.

i’ve seen children running around. families, friends, relationships. the eldians have formed a community, everyone on the eldian side of the gate knows one another. they’re a family. to think that eren intends to destroy this town of eldians—not even the marleyans—even if they will be there these are still eldian homes he will destroy. it makes me nauseous to think about it.

reiner is here. he has a cousin who he treats more like a sister. she has a band of friends. they all want nothing more than to prove they’re good eldians and kill everyone back on paradis which, i’ll admit, makes me more than a little violent when i think about it for too long. but i always remind myself that this is all they’ve been taught, it’s all they know. i remember my boyfriend is back on paradis and the feelings of violence come back but then i see this girl and her own personal blonde and i have to remind myself once again. it’s an endless cycle.

i haven’t been able to come into contact with eren again—it’s too much of a risk, as he continuously reminds me. but i’ve been watching, very closely, from the sides. he’s been talking to that little blonde reiner’s cousin/sister is going to be stuck to for the rest of her life—assuming they both survive this. it makes me nervous seeing eren with him but i don’t think he’d go out of his way to hurt the boy so i’ve yet to intervene.

on the day i know eren intends to ruin these people’s lives—worse than they have already been ruined—i’m anxious beyond repair, i’ll just have to sit with it. even if this goes perfectly we’re still sure to lose some of our own and kill entire families on this mission. i’m nauseous again.

eren convinces the boy—falco to bring reiner to him. i sit just out of range of the explosion eren will surely set off when he transforms. i can’t hear them but i know what’s being said. eren’s revealing himself, reiner is scared out of his mind, and falco is shocked. i just hope that when he does transform that falco will be okay. he’s a good kid.

some long haired blonde man who’s very clearly important to all of these people is giving some speech about killing the island devils on paradis when eren finally transforms, decimates half of the people gathered together, and then eats said man. this, of course, causes the actual war hammer titan to make herself known. there is something of a fight between them but really eren just gets his ass handed to him by being skewered a few times. but that doesn’t stop reinforcements from coming.

i can hear the odm gear zipping by. i know my friends are here. it makes me smile but then it makes me nervous. i would prefer they all be out of harm's way—eren hasn’t allowed that. so we’re all fighting for our lives in unknown territory. the goal is to spare as many of our own lives as possible, capture zeke, and get eren out of here alive.

honestly, we look like we’re going to lose. they have the war hammer titan, the jaw titan, the beast titan, and the cart titan. if zeke were actually against us we’d surely be dead. but still, it looks mildly bleak. but i know what our power play is. i know what eren will have forced them to do. forced him to do. even though knows he hates it. even though he knows it goes against everything he believes in.

i see it in the distance. i hear it everywhere. i can almost feel it in the air. the explosion. i know what it is. i know who it is.

without thinking, i take off running towards the blast. i’m zipping around on my odm gear, reaching maximum speeds. i’m weaving through and around all the buildings and straight to the port.

by the time i get there, everything is decimated. things still shine with the light of a burned-out fire. these people were scorched and all of the land in a five-mile radius is crushed. there will be no survivors. no one will live through this if they’re not dead already. no one but the boy who caused it.

he’s just ripped himself from the nape of his titan's neck when my feet hit the ground. i stand before his titan, the size of a small bug from where he sits atop it. i look up at him, overcome with emotion and frozen in place.

when he looks down and spots me i can feel his eyes. i can feel his gaze upon me. it warms me everywhere his eyes travel. he’s slowly registering it’s me, he doesn’t believe it yet. he doesn’t want to get his hopes up if it’s not me and instead someone who’s about to shoot at him.

i smile despite myself, feeling my eyes pool with tears. i don’t try to blink them back like i usually would. he knows me then.

he inhales sharply and in the next moment he’s zipping down from his titans body and towards me. “y/n!”

i laugh helplessly and dart towards him. we’re running at each other with all we have, really. i’ve never run faster. this is the new record. i thought i was fast getting here. this beats that by a long shot. i can see him. he’s 100 feet away from me. 80 feet. 50. he’s so close, how could i not run as fast as i possibly can? 20 feet. then 10.

as soon as i can see every cut and bruise on his face, his titan marks, the blue of his eyes—it’s like as soon as i see him it’s like i leave battle mode. it doesn’t matter that we’ve both been fighting for our lives out here. we’ve nearly won now. we’re going to leave with only a few casualties of our own, eren, & the war hammer titan. it will be successful as long as we continue as we have been. my resolve dies and we’re just so close now. i’m jumping over charred corpses & rubble from the destroyed town. i’m running as fast i can to my favorite blonde. “armin!” i choke out, suddenly so close to sobbing i can feel the tears falling.

i’m sure it’s jarring to see me like this. usually so stoic and unmoved in the fast of terror or tragedy, reduced to a puddle of tears at the sight of a boy i’ve loved all my life.

his breath hitches again and when we embrace it’s with such equal force we stand completely still, absorbing each other's energy. we’re panting and holding each other like the contact is the only thing that allows us to breathe. one of my arms is wrapped around his neck, hooking it in the bend of my elbow while my other hand is pushed into the hair at the back of his head. he’s holding me so tightly around the waist that he’s nearly lifting me off the ground—i’m on my tiptoes.

i squeeze my eyes shut and take shaky breaths to stop myself from crying. i’m surely shaking in his arms, not to say that he’s not shaking too—because he is. i just can’t stop.

“armin, armin, armin,” i whisper it again and again like a chant and a promise.

i can feel his heart beat against my own chest. our hearts are working to match the other's pace. our breathing synchronizes, our hearts beat as one, it’s like we’re one being.

he pulls back just enough to look me in the eyes before wiping away my tears. his own eyes are filled with so much emotion it almost brings my tears back. he closes his eyes and leans our foreheads together.

i reach up and cup his face in my hands. he opens his eyes and does the same to me. when our eyes meet and hold contact i can’t help but let out a weak, wet laugh. my thumbs gently trace over his titan marks with a feather-like touch. the only sound is of our breath & the ocean behind us at the port. “hi,” i say without thinking.

he laughs quietly, “hi.”

for a long moment, we stay like that. wrapped up in each other and the moment. i’ve gone soft around the edges, i’m no longer alert and sharp. i don’t know exactly where the sound comes from when i hear it—and that makes me nervous.

it’s a voice that calls for us. it makes me pull armin to me, holding him tightly, shielding him. i look around to pinpoint where this voice is coming from. it makes me uneasy to be on a battlefield but feel so at home just because i’m in his presence. it makes me nervous to not be so sharp, so prepared, so ready.

finally, i spot jean. he’s off in the distance. we can’t quite hear him but it’s easy to make out the waving arm that tells us to get to him quickly. he’s not very calm about it.

i relax a little, happy it’s a friend who requires an answer to their call versus someone with a gun. my hold on armin doesn’t loosen much. he sighs against my neck, he’s relieved too.

“i think it’s about time to catch our ride home,” armin says softly.

i nod against his shoulder where i rest my forehead. i smile a little. “i’ve been missing home… missing you.”

he slides his hand up from its place on my back to the back of my neck. “you won’t have to miss me again. we won’t be apart again.”

“that’s wishful thinking,” i joke sadly.

he doesn’t say anything because he knows i’m right. he just pulls away and takes my hand. when he starts to lead us over to jean i quickly use our joined hands to pull him back to me. i put my hand on the back of his neck—mostly to steady myself and then lean on my tiptoes to kiss him. it’s long and emotional but really that’s all it is—emotional. there’s no deeper meaning behind it, no lust. it’s just something that says, “i’m so happy to have you back. never leave me again. i love you more than anything. let me keep loving you.”

when i pull away i simply take the lead in walking and pull him along behind me—he’s still a little dazed for the time being but he snaps out of it quickly enough. we walk together to jean. i’m sure we’re supposed to be in a hurry, i know this airship will leave without us, but we can’t seem to make ourselves run.

when we get to our friend he shoots armin a look i don’t quite understand but he says nothing of our joined hands, which i appreciate. he doesn’t hesitate to remind us that if we don’t make it to the rooftop rendezvous spot we will not be going home. on that very blunt note, the three of us book it to the roof.

armin’s hand is soft and warm in mine. he’s like home for me. he’s safety and happiness personified. he’s always been there. he’s been the love of my life since the moment i laid eyes on him and i don’t ever intend to take my eyes off of him now. not again. he and i are in it for the long haul… assuming we all survive this.

[iwriteloveletters]

Bring Me to Life (Yan!Eren Yeager x Reader)

Hello its me again! This is my first ever x reader fic and I had a lot of fun writing this, I hope if you stumble across this you'll enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it!

Warnings - None

Spoilers - NOT SPOILER FREE

Description - After Eren loses you, the love of his life, and then his own life. He goes back in time to a simpler time of the world including his own; where you're alive. He now decides he has to do whatever he needs to in order to save you.

Words - 3.5K

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Chapter One - Reunion

“I’ll see you later, Eren.” Was the last thing he heard before darkness flooded his vision. He heard sobs and screams echo amidst the darkness he saw. Still feeling the warmth of Mikasa's arms around his head. 

He finally did it, he would think to himself. He started the rumbling and wiped out 80% of humanity, all at the cost of his own life in return for his friends' lives. But what about you? What happened to you? 

You were killed during the attack on Marley, he saw it coming of course and didn’t do anything to stop it but it affected him more than expected. You were someone he admired, loved, and cherished. Of course it was going to affect him, but why didn’t he stop it? He had faith that you were gonna change your own future, you were going to survive and you were going to be seen as a hero just like the others; but instead you became a part of the statistic of soldiers that didn’t make it back home alive. You and Sasha never made it back home, neither did Hange. He thought the way a nineteen year old hopelessly in love would. 

It was still dark but he was still conscious. He was supposed to be dead. Why is he still in the dark? He was expecting to be in Hell for his sins and crimes against humanity. All he knew was that this wasn’t the Paths, Purgatory, or Heaven. This was something entirely different. 

The echoed screams and sobs abruptly stopped while he was questioning where he was, he heard a voice – it was Mikasa’s. 

“Eren… Eren…” He heard her speak, her voice was higher pitched. She was younger. 

He opened his eyes to the sight of her, the sunlight blinding him on top of that. 

“Why were you crying?” She asked the now younger Eren, he touched his face and felt his wet cheek. 

He looked down at his hands and it confirmed his thoughts, he was young again! Does that mean you were here too? He had to find out. 

Mikasa waved her hands in front of his eyes, “Hello… Why were you crying? Are you okay?” 

He came back to his new reality, once again lost in his thoughts, “I had a weird dream that’s all.” He said, excited to see all his friends again. 

“About what?” 

“I forgot.” 

She helped him up from his spot under the tree and said that he needed to continue gathering wood for his mother. He felt a wave of emotion hit him. 

His mom was back, his mom was back and she wasn't a Martyr for a nine year long goal. Not yet, did he have to witness it all again. He has to find everyone and everything he lost. 

He nodded and followed Mikasa along. It was quiet, he used to hate silent walks but after everything that happened he can appreciate something as trivial as a silent walk for once in his life. 

They bumped into Armin on the way home, saving him from the bullies he had, which he also appreciates. He gets to feel like the hero again even if the real hero was Mikasa, like always. 

They all talked and shared laughs afterwards, Armin thanking them for their help and Mikasa and Eren saying it was no big deal; they were friends of course. 

They were friends again. Eren’s heart was feeling full once again. 

“Have you seen (Y/N)?” Eren blurted out, if everyone was fine and if this was his very real past, you were there too. You had to be there. 

“Hmm…” Armin hummed, “I passed them while they were on the way to the market with their mom. Maybe they’re still there?”

“Wanna go meet up with them?” Mikasa adds. 

Eren nodded as fast as he could, he wanted to see you more than anything, those four years away from you hurt more than anything. All the letters he wrote but couldn’t send out because he had a goal to focus on. How hurt you must have been to not be able to hear from him and die the same night you were supposed to reunite. How hurt he was to hear of your demise.

He remembers that night so clearly, he was only able to get a glimpse of you before overhearing from Connie and Armin that you were shot in the face right in front of Connie’s eyes after the mission was a half success. The ride home was Hell, that was his punishment.

He decided right in that alley that he would not let this happen again, he would stray from his intended path the way he thought you were going to. He would save and protect you from the cruelty of humanity.

“He seems so spaced out.” Armin said to Mikasa.

“I know, he’s been like this since I woke him up. Maybe he’s still tired.”

“I can hear you guys.” 

“Well, we have been waiting for you so we can meet up with (Y/N)!” Armin tugged on his sleeve.

“Right, right. Let’s go, who knows how long they’ll be there for.”  

Armin nodded and let Eren lead the way, he was so eager to reach you and see you once again for what felt like years. A moment away from you felt like he was back in the Paths, you could only imagine what the time after your death and Eren’s stay in Marley felt like. 

“So Eren, have you been alright?” Armin questioned him, Eren has been silent this entire time and only speaks a minimum of 10 words every few minutes. Eren has never been the silent type. The young boy always had an opinion or a comment to make, he never held back so it was odd to see him like this.

“Yes.” He replied without a second thought. 

But was he really fine? He was rightfully killed and suddenly he's ten years old meeting up with someone long gone. Someone innocent, someone who should have never been a soldier. 

“Uhuh.” Mikasa muttered. 

“Why wouldn’t I be fine?!” Eren raised his voice, there was the Eren they knew. The loud Eren, the Eren who didn’t care about who could hear him. 

“Because this is the only time you raised your voice at us or anyone in general.” Armin chuckled. 

“Well maybe my throat hurts and I didn’t wanna yell.” He whined. 

The pair rolled their eyes in response to that, letting him slide with it today because clearly something more was up but they just couldn’t tell what. Mikasa was gonna be sure to interrogate him so she and Armin can know later on .

“(Y/N)!” Armin shouted and rushed towards you, Mikasa following. They were so happy to see you, it may have only been a few days but you were a very good friend of the trio; they were always gonna be happy to see you. You were like a missing piece to the puzzle, you got along with all three of them so well. It made your parents so delighted considering you didn’t have many friends before them. Eren met you on the right day at the right time and now you have three amazing friends.

There stood Eren, watching you. You were alive, he couldn’t believe it. He wanted to cry right in front of you three but he didn’t allow himself. It almost felt like a reunion, the reunion he wanted when he came back from Marley but wasn’t allowed to have. Instead he was met with both your demise and his. 

“Eren?” Your voice snapped him back into reality, he really has to stop spacing out and processing everything in real time before you all make him see his dad about issues he can’t yet comprehend. 

“Hm?” He hummed. 

You let out a laugh at the sight of him trying to be aloof knowing he was far from it, “You look like you’ve seen a ghost and Mikasa and Armin agree you’ve been acting strange.”

He might as well have seen a ghost when he saw you, your cheeks flushed from walking around the long market for so long, your hair a slight mess from the wind, and your breathing were all indicators that you were alive and well. He still couldn’t have believed that he was staring and you and you were staring back at him. 

He pulls you in for a hug, exhaling a large amount of air past your shoulder as though he were holding his breath, he was gonna cry he felt it. The painful lump in his throat stuck in place, preventing his ability to talk. 

More memories came in, hitting him like a train. The grave, you never made it back home to receive the burial you wanted if you ever succumbed to the titans – but you succumbed to humanity instead, and the fact he never got to give you the life he promised you; even if you didn’t know it and it was impossible in the first place. 

Before everything fell apart in the first life he took a moment alone to visit your grave site, adorned with flowers and your name engraved in it, but unfortunately there was nothing under it, it felt like he wasn’t seeing you and just a decorated rock. And that broke his heart, yet he didn’t allow himself to cry. The same way he’s not letting himself cry right now.

“Are you okay… when have you ever hugged anyone?” You asked, starting to worry about your friend. 

Armin and Mikasa were watching in the background, they were confused. They knew him for a while now and never saw him really hug a friend that way, he hugged them of course but he hugged you like you were going to move out of Shiganshina and never visit or write to them ever again. It was odd and they desperately needed to find out what it is that's wrong with you. 

He suddenly realized what he did and backed off, he wasn’t nineteen anymore. He was ten again and he needed to start from the ground up. Nobody knew what he did in the future or what happened to everyone; however, this may be his second chance. He may not be able to prevent some of the terrible things from happening. Your death. 

“Ummm… wow I don’t know what to say Eren.” You laughed nervously, having never received such a close hug from somebody. But there’s a first time for everything, you would think to yourself. 

“Don’t say anything.” Eren said while he stared right into your eyes. He felt so embarrassed it almost – no it did piss him off, how could he just show so much vulnerability in public like that, the future is already in terrible hands. Once again. 

“Are you sick Eren you’re acting really strange today.” Mikasa said while she was beginning to press her hand on his forehead.

He swats her hand away, “I’m fine, you guys keep asking me and I’m fine! You know what, I’m going home!” He stomped in the opposite direction to you guys. 

Mikasa sighs and follows, “Wait up Eren.” 

You and Armin wave goodbyes and go the separate ways as well. 

“Mikasa, Eren! Wait!” You caught up to them, “I know you don’t wanna hear this Eren but please see if your dad can figure out what’s going on with you, you’re worrying us.”

That made his heart skip beats, that made his heart flutter, for a moment he thought it stopped completely and he was going to die again. 

Not only were you alive but you cared about his well being, he never saw the little things you did or said until it was too late but he saw it now. The way your eyes light up at the sight of your friends, the way you hugged him even though his hug was out of the ordinary, and the way you were still worried about his well being even though he’s acting like a brat right now. He will cherish you so much more than he did before, he was given a second chance for a reason, he’s gonna do this the right way.

He’s gonna protect you no matter what, nothing will stop him. He promises you that, with once again not telling you. It’s his little secret. 

He hears Mikasa sigh, “(Y/N)’s right… we really should tell your dad. You could have a fever and it's getting to you, you’ve been acting really strange today. That only happens when you’re sick.”

“I’m fine.” He grumbled, he was fine. It’s not like he didn’t die an hour ago but he’s fine. It’s not like he didn’t lose the love of his life last month and was away from them before that, it’s not like he has heavier burdens in this life due to his knowledge of the future. But he’s fine, he convinces himself. 

“You don’t seem fine.”

“Mikasa, can you just drop it.” 

“Fine.” She looks down on the ground, making sure she doesn’t trip on anything. 

Maybe he should tell his dad but is that even an option? His father can see the future but could he foresee this happening? He didn't even kill the Reiss family yet, he must not know what's going on. He wouldn’t know what to do but Eren wants someone to know, it’s actually a lot more stressful this time around to be so aware of the future than he last remembered. Being in charge of changing your fate is even more stressful for ten year old Eren, he was determined to find a way for your sake. 

“I wonder what that dream was about.” Mikasa said as an attempt to kill the silence. 

“It was sad that’s all that I remember.” Eren said looking straight ahead, he was actually excited to head home. He hasn’t seen the inside of his own home since… forever! He doesn’t remember much of the inside of his home but he was excited to refresh his fuzzy memories of the cozy place. He wonders what his mom made too. 

With enough thinking and nervous thinking about what he was gonna say to his mother or how to prevent a reaction, they made it to his beloved home in no time. 

It looked so warm, he thought. He was finally gonna see his mother, he was gonna see the woman he killed to achieve a goal. He was feeling a bunch of emotions, guilt, hurt, grief, and anger were some of the emotions he experienced.  

The closer he got to the house the more he got nervous. He was ready, he had to convince himself. 

The pair walked into the sight of Grisha packing up for his work trip and Carla preparing tonight's dinner that consisted of potatoes, carrots, and celery. 

“Oh hello Eren, hello Mikasa.” Carla smiled.

Eren’s stomach dropped upon seeing her, she had all the characteristics needed to show that she was alive and well. He couldn’t believe it, he couldn’t hold back his tears. He wanted his mama more than anything right now. The future was scary, the life he led is even scarier, right now he needed the warmth of his mother more than anything. He was only ten after all. 

Eren collapses on the ground, tears flowing down his face. He couldn’t take it, seeing two– no three dead people in a day shocked him more than anything, his currently fragile heart couldn’t handle it. He believes he can stop your death but his moms? He doesn’t think he’s capable of stopping; the rumbling still needed to happen after all. This fact alone sent him further into tears. 

“Eren!?” Carla shouted as she ran towards him, Grisha following her as well.

No one has ever seen him like this, Carla is now worried sick about her sobbing boy’s well being too. 

“I’m sorry…” he wailed, “I’m so sorry mom.” Continuing to sob. 

When she first died was when he knew little to nothing about the situation he was about to find himself in so he was full of anger and never getting the chance to process it, he was too busy trying to fight for humanity and against it, there was no ounce of sadness in his heart for his mom the first time around. But now knowing she will die in a few days from now was the final thing to break him. He finally had room in his heart to grieve and his body was too small to know what to do with it. 

Carla pulled her close to him, causing him to sob even more. He hasn’t been hugged in years by his mother, he practically forgot the feeling. It all felt scarily new to him to feel his mothers warmth once again. 

Eren didn’t know how to explain himself so he continued to cry and shake his head ‘no’. Mikasa gathered a dry rag and some water for him to drink. Grisha standing there wondering what to do, no amount of medical school could prepare him for this. For fatherhood. He also knew what his own son was capable of doing, this current outburst took him by such surprise. 

“He’s been like this since he woke up from his nap,” Mikasa mentioned, “He almost started crying when he saw (Y/N).” Mikasa knew him like the back of her hand, while you may not have seen the tears and only noticed the silence, she knew it all. 

“How about you take another nap, love?” She said as she caressed the back of his head.

“No!!” He shook his head, he didn’t wanna step away from her again, he wanted to spend the last few days of life with her. He didn’t want to see her go, not when he just saw her again after all this time.

“You need to rest Eren, please listen to your mother.” Grisha butts in, “You need rest, you’re overwhelmed.”

“No no no!” He cried out again, he needs to stay here with her. He needs to be there for her remaining days. 

He began to cling onto Carla even more, his tiny arms around her neck and his overheating face buried into her shoulder. 

“Eren!” Carla shouted, there wasn’t anger in her voice however; she simply needed to get his attention somehow. 

He stopped screaming and crying to hear what she has to say, he may not have listened in his past life but he will now. This one time. 

“Eren… you need to rest, I will stay with you for a little bit but then I’d have to go because I have to make dinner. Would you like to have Mikasa stay with you afterwards?” She caressed the back of his head, as an attempt to remind her son he wasn’t in any danger, that he was safe and sound. 

“Okay.” He pouted, slightly embarrassed that he had an outburst like this. This was never like him but he couldn’t help himself. The grief was too much on his ten year old heart. 

“Perfect, Grisha my dear, do you think you could give Eren a quick check up to make sure he’s alright?” 

Grisha hummed and nodded his head, taking his equipment and heading to Erens room. 

.

“C’mon, let's get you checked out,” Carla pinched his cheeks and flashed him a smile, he wanted to cry again, he felt so whole and full of love, he wishes he could stay this way forever. Maybe Heaven was this, maybe Heaven was being a little boy again and seeing your friends and your precious mama. No titans, no war, this was true peace. 

“Okay…” He said as he let go of Carla, getting ready to follow her to his room. 

“And when I’m done, Mikasa and I can spend some time together while we prepare dinner!” She cheered. 

“Alright!” Mikasa smiled, she enjoyed spending time with Carla. After the loss of her parents, Carla and Grisha were the closest thing she had to parental figures. 

They finally made it to his room and he walked over to his bed with Carla following him and tucking him in, Grisha began to check his temperature. 

“Well… he’s not warm.” He stated, in other words: he’s perfectly fine and didn’t need medical attention.

“Better safe than sorry.” Carla said, kissing Eren on the forehead just to provide extra comfort and care. 

“Well I have to start heading out now so–” Eren cut him off. 

“Dad, I need to talk to you.” He said.

 Eren finally deciding to tell his father half of the truth. 

“Oh?” Grisha turned around.

Carla took that as her cue to leave, whatever it may be must be strictly between men she thought to herself.

He waited until Carla closed the door shut so he can surely speak with no listening ears or prying eyes around. 

“Well, she’s not here. What was it you wanted to talk about?” Grisha said, he chuckled to himself thinking about what it could be. Many possibilities were there, girls, Mikasa, you. Maybe he had a crush on one of you. 

Eren took a breath in for courage, he was already preparing himself to be told he was crazy. He was surely crazy but he was right. He knows what he saw and did. 

“Can you see the future?” He asked. 

╚══ஓ๑♡๑ஓ══╝

[marcobodtlives]

Here's a sad thought.

You know how titan shifters take the memories of the previous one? So, when Armin ate Bertholdt and took the colossal from him that means he more than likely saw the memory of what happened with Marco, and didn't say anything.

Not to Jean.

No one.

YEAH! THIS IS ON MY MIND CONSTANTLY 😓

24/7 RENT FREE

I say this to everyone I know who watches AoT and I believe it wholeheartedly.

Thank you 🥲 I think about this fact so often and I have so many headcanons about it!!!

Here they all are beneath the cut, I hope you like: 🥹

I reckon Armin would have had flashes of it, felt so sick, picked up Bertholdt’s lingering guilt, and then been utterly torn between telling Jean and keeping it to himself.

I think Armin and Jean are close, particularly so after their planned kidnapping in season 3. I think Armin has always reminded Jean of Marco, and I think a small part of Jean knows that Armin means a lil more to him because it’s the last shred of Marco that he feels he still has.

Marco and Armin were close. They were both smart, inquisitive, caring individuals that wound up being the ones keeping their chaotic friends in line. He might be short, blond, and lack the freckles Jean loved, but Armin is as close to Marco that Jean has - and Armin knows that too.

After Marco’s death, Armin notices how heavily it’s impacted Jean, and he reaches out. Extends an open line, lets Jean know that he’s there for him if he ever wants to talk - really talk.

After their planned capture in season 3, after Armin kills to save Jean’s life, after Armin’s sacrifice in Shiganshina, he’s torn.

On one hand, Jean was closest to Marco, was the one who took his death the hardest, the one who sees him and mourns him more than anyone else. Jean is the one who keeps Marco’s memory alive, he’s the one that fights the hardest to keep Marco from becoming ‘just another comrade we’ve lost.’

Jean has said “he died all alone, without anyone knowing or seeing.” Armin knows the circumstances of Marco’s death kill Jean, rock him to the core.

Armin knows Jean is the one who deserves to know the truth more than anyone.

But Armin also knows the other side to Jean.

Armin knows Jean feels the weight of every death. He knows Jean wakes at night, hands clamped over his ears. He knows Jean’s sketchbook is full of sketches of Marco, and he knows they’re becoming less and less accurate as time goes on.

He knows Jean would fall into a hole, so to speak, if he found out the truth. He knows Jean would need answers, he knows the fury of it all would compromise Jean in the field.

When they reach the ocean, he almost says something. They aren’t in immediate danger, it’s been over a year, they have their answers. Logically, it would be the best time to say something.

But he sees Jean with Conny and Sasha, sees their smiles, the carefree way they laugh as salt water twists their features. And Armin realises… he can’t do this. He doesn’t have the heart to sit Jean down and explain that his best friend of three years was held down and fed to a titan by three of their fellow cadets-turned-traitors.

Murdered. He can’t tell Jean that Marco was murdered. He just - he can’t do that. It’s hard enough seeing it himself when he closed his eyes, he can’t tell Jean and subject him to that truth.

He doesn’t need to fuel Jean’s nightmares by giving him more context. He isn’t going to be the gasoline to Jean’s trauma-fire.

He can tell the truth when they’re stable again. When Paradis isn’t under threat, when there’s peace and hope. When Jean has the time to heal without fear and uncertainty dancing over their heads.

Then they go to Marley. Then Eren leaves. War is declared. They’re fighting for their lives. Again.

Then Reiner and Annie are honest.

And Armin is reminded why he didn’t tell Jean when fists start flying and Jean ends up in the woods with his hands over his ears.

But he thinks maybe things will be okay, when Jean saves Reiner’s ass as they hang from Eren’s ribcage.

[starrylevi]

Hi! Love your writing sm ❤️! Can a request an established relationship Levi x reader fic where the reader and Levi grew up together in the underground and the reader tells his squad (the new one) embarrassing stories from when Levi was a kid? He overhears and gets rlly embarrassed and pissed 💀 and the squad can’t stop laughing at him. Tysmmmm!!

Hi!! You’re so sweet, thank you! I tried my best with this. I don’t have much imagination so I basically repurposed the clown scene in Marley 😅 I hope it’s not completely terrible.

🌲

“Can you tell us another one? Please please please.” Connie begs on his knees in front of you, hands clasped together in a prayer.

You let out a small chuckle before looking back over your shoulder in search for any sign of the Captain. “Hm…I don’t know, he’ll be getting back soon.” You say as you look back at the cadets sitting around the campfire with you.

“Aw come on, we have at least five more minutes before he gets back.” Jean pipes up.

“Guys, don’t pressure her! We don’t want the captain to get angry.” Armin tries to reason with them, his face flushed with concern.

Your eyes scan over all the cadet’s faces, most of them wearing a pleading expression. You stare at them, straight faced for a few seconds before you relent with a small smile. “Okay, just one more.”

In a moment of excitement, Jean and Eren high five each other.

“Okay, so we were around 10 years old when this happened. The adults were nice enough to hold a small event for the kids in the underground. I was really excited. Captain Levi, of course wasn’t too bothered to go but I forced him.” You let out a small chuckle before you continue.

“When we got there, there was a man surrounded by a big group of kids, all around 5 or 6 years old, asking for their choice of balloon animal.”

This is it?” Levi commented with a scoff as his eyes landed on the man. “This looks creepy as hell.”

“I just want to see what kind of animals he’s making and then we can go.” You tugged on his arm and Levi reluctantly followed you with a roll of his eyes.

As you two got closer, you heard the man looking for volunteers, his eyes scanning over the crowd of children.

“Stop, don’t tell me he picked on Captain Levi.” Sasha mumbles around a slim jim, disbelief in her voice.

The man indeed spotted Levi and approached him with a smile. “Well, aren’t you a cute little fella. Would you like a balloon animal?” The man asked with a gleeful grin.

Levi narrowed his eyes, pouting. The action made him seem more endearing to the man. “Look at those cheeks!”

The man goes to pinch the rounded skin when Levi flinches away from him. “Get away, asshole!”

“Oh, looks like someone has a potty mouth.”The man frowned.

“No way, he really thought the captain was a six year old?” Eren asked you.

“Of course they did, have you seen him?” Jean remarked before everyone busted out laughing though the joy quickly dies down.

“y/n, a word please?” You hear the sound of your boyfriend’s voice and see all the cadets briefly frozen in fear.

“Oops.” You whisper to yourself before slowly getting up and walking over to Levi, meeting his steely stare with a guilty look on your face.

“Why in the hell you tell them that?” He whispers harshly, pint tinting his cheeks as you take your place in front of him.

“They wanted to know a little more about our history in the underground. I…thought it would be funny to tell them a couple of stories?” You explain, lightly bitting down on your lower lip.

“Funny, huh?” His eyes narrow at you as he crosses his arms.

“Captain, come on, it’s all in good fun!” Connie cuts in. The others chime in, agreeing with laughter.

“Oi, if you know what’s good for you you’ll shut it!” He barks at the cadets and they all recoil in terror, quieting down but you can still hear some snickering.

You place a hand on one of his crossed arms to comfort him, your thumb stroking the material of his uniform.

“I can’t believe you would tell them that.” He mumbles grumpily.

“I’m sorry, my love.” You say, genuine remorse in your tone.

He stays silent for a second, arms still crossed before he lets out a sigh. “Next time find something more interesting to talk about that isn’t me.”

“Yes, sir.”

[m-jelly]

Jelly! Hi, how are you today? :]

I have a request, Levi and Reader swapping hoodies right before he has to go on a trip to Marley. Maybe a few days he misses them and ends up calling them for a pillow talk. FLUUUUUUUUFFFFY

Thank you, Jelly. Have a wonderful day ^u^

@kenkopanda-art <3

So close and yet, so far.

Levi x fem!reader

Modern AU, CEO Levi, fluff, romance, established couple, phone calls

Levi goes on a business trip to Marley for a few days. You both swap hoodies so you can keep something close you both wear a lot. However, the hoodies are not enough. Levi calls you and you talk for hours.

@ladycheesington @levisbrat25 @nyxiieluna @li-anne @galactict3a @youre-ackermine @thebobaprincess @2moth-anon2 @cypidity @nbinairyn @bts-spnlvr12 @notgoodforlife @demonic-bird

Hushed sobs filled the room as you and Levi clung to each other before the front door. It was hard to let each other go, but it was needed. Levi had work to do and he was a busy man but he always made time for the love of his life.

With his strong hands, he cupped your face and gazed at you. "You're making me cry."

You whined a little. "Sorry."

He kissed away all your tears. "Don't be sorry for feeling, okay?"

"Yes."

He smiled before kissing you. "I love you so much. I will miss you, but we'll message every day and I'll call you at night. Deal?"

You sniffed a bit as you nodded. "Yes." You fixed his coat for him and kissed him over and over. "I love you. I'll keep in touch." You gasped and hurried to your room. "Wait!" You ran back with a bright smile. "My favourite hoodie. Take it with you."

Levi gently took your hoodie and inhaled deeply. "Mm, perfect." He opened his suitcase and put it in before taking out the hoodie he was planning on taking. "Here, this is my favourite."

You hugged it tightly. "I will treasure it forever."

"I'm only gone for four days and then I'll be back."

You smiled brightly. "Have a safe trip!"

He took his suitcase and waved to you. "See you soon!"

The journey was long and hard for Levi because you were not by his side. It'd been a while since he had travelled without you. The two of you were joined at the hip, but now you were not. He used to love being in a hotel room with you. He messaged you as soon as he got to his hotel, but the desire was strong to be with you.

When the second night came, he had enough. He hugged your hoodie tightly and grabbed his phone. He supported his phone on the bed and called you. He smiled a little as he waited for you. He lit up as soon as your face appeared on the screen.

Levi gasped in delight as he said your name. "Evening my darling love!"

You hummed a laugh. "Evening handsome." You climbed into bed and lay on your side. "Are you okay?"

"I missed you."

You welled up. "I miss you too!" You wiggled closer. "Other than missing me, is everything okay?"

He sighed. "No."

"No? What's wrong?"

He whined. "I miss you! I just miss you."

You blew him kisses. "I miss you too. I'm wearing your hoodie right now."

Levi lifted your hoodie up. "I have yours in bed with me."

"Levi?"

"Mm?"

You pouted. "Don't go away for a long time again, please?"

Levi chuckled. "I promise I won't. When I come home, I'm gonna squeeze you so hard and shower you in kisses."

"Me too!" You smiled a little. "So, how was your day?"

Levi unloaded everything that was going on with him and the things he'd been doing. He felt so much lighter telling you the things going on with him. He felt great at the end but a bit of guilt crept inside him when he realised he'd been talking so much.

He blushed a little. "S-Sorry, I've been talking your ear off."

"I asked. I love hearing you talk."

"Mm, thank you." He chuckled. "You're sweet to me."

"Because I love you and you're handsome."

Levi chuckled. "Thank you. I love you too. So, tell me about your day."

The two of you talked all night long until you fell asleep to the sound of each other's voices. When the sun rose in the morning, Levi was the first to wake up and see that the call was still going. He couldn't stop smiling when he saw your cute sleeping face. He adored waking up in the morning to you. Levi knew as he gazed at you that you were the woman he was going to marry.

[sarcasticsra]

I cannot stress enough how much everyone should watch Starkid’s A VHS Christmas Carol if you haven’t seen it yet. It’s pretty short, only about 45 minutes, and it’s truly one of the best adaptations of A Christmas Carol that I’ve ever seen.

No, seriously. I think it has even surpassed The Muppets Christmas Carol for me. That has been my favorite Christmas movie since I was a child. My mom and sister and I used to watch it every Christmas Eve. I still love it dearly and it is an amazing adaptation that I’ll defend to my death, but you guys. You guys. A VHS Christmas Carol is just THAT GOOD.

It’s done in the style of 80s music/videos, which is delightful. It’s an opera, so it’s all sung through, which I love. And it’s so good!

Let me enumerate the ways. Spoilers to follow. (Can you spoil A Christmas Carol? Once a story becomes public domain does that exempt it from spoiling? Idk, lol. Spoilers for the show, anyway. Also for Avatar: The Last Airbender. …I promise there’s a path.)

1) Bah Humbug! - Song number one and it goes hard right from the start. It is everything an opening number should be. Dynamic, sets the tone, and an incredible fucking bop. The interactions between Scrooge and Fred and Scrooge and Bob are done so well, too. You so quickly get a sense of their characters. Obviously we know their characters because this is a story that has been told many a time before, but it does it so well that you would immediately get them even if you were an alien who had never in your existence been exposed to A Christmas Carol in any capacity. That’s impressive to me. It’s not relying on the familiarity of the story to do its character work.

2) 3 Spirits - I love the tone of this song. This is a Marley with true regret and pain who is absolutely pleading with Scrooge to take the chance he’s being given. It’s less “scared straight” and more, “I need you to understand this like you’ve never understood anything before.” Marley becomes a character in his own right as opposed to merely a backdrop for Scrooge to react to. That’s a theme with this adaptation. Characters who are pretty flat in a lot of adaptations seem so much more like real people in this one. Also, whoever decided to cast Meredith as Marley here is a fucking genius. She’s so goddamn talented and she really shines here. The emotion, the weight. Gah. Beautiful. The interplay between Marley and Scrooge is incredible as well; these are two insanely talented performers breathing a new life into tried and true characters, and you really feel the relationship between them.

3) I’m The Ghost - Christmas Past is so pointed and snarky and incredible, making Scrooge come to certain realizations. “Huh, little boy left all alone. Oh, your sister died so young. Didn’t she have a son though? Why are the employees so happy, this party didn’t cost much? Thinking of something? Okay, last stop, buckle up, it’s all your own doing.” I love it so much.

4) That Scrooge - You guys. You guys. They’ve done what I assumed was impossible. They’ve done what even the Muppets couldn’t. It’s a Scrooge-Belle breakup song that isn’t the most unbelievably boring and bland thing you’ve ever heard in your life. Belle is a fucking person! She has a personality! She’s very clearly stating her case, that he’s changed and she doesn’t like it and does he have anything to say? No? Okay, bye! THE EMOTION IN THIS SONG. Scrooge starts singing not just with her but to her! All the things he didn’t say before! And then he starts singing angrily about/at his past!self for being an idiot! You actually FEEL THINGS about this relationship. It was a deep love and losing it super fucked him up! I have never before seen Belle/Scrooge done as well as this one (1) song handles it.

5) Christmas Electricity - Get ready to have this song stuck in your head for ten thousand years. This song is, I believe, the standard classical definition of “a fuckin’ bop.” It’s so high energy and exciting, you really can understand how Scrooge gets so caught up in it himself. You also see more of Fred in this song and, again, he’s a person! He has specific motivations for why he keeps reaching out to Scrooge. Corey’s Fred is hands down one of the best performances of this character full stop. He took what is usually a bit, side character and made him a full human with understandable thoughts and feelings. They gave the Fred-Scrooge relationship such incredible emotional weight because of it. I think that’s one of my favorite aspects of this adaptation.

6) Priceless - Here we see the Cratchits enjoying their Christmas with an incredibly sweet song about having little but feeling like they have a lot. I really like the way this song feels a bit cheesy (goes with the whole 80s vibe) but they also feel like a real family with some silliness and some sweetness and Bob’s wife having very strong opinions about Scrooge that he’s too polite for. Also “listen to this key change out of the bridge” goddamn just show off constantly how freaking talented this entire cast is, why don’t you.

7) The Final Ghost - I probably have too much to say about this song. It’s my favorite, which considering this entire show is pitch fucking perfect, is really saying a lot. Dylan Saunders is truly one of the most talented performers I’ve ever seen, and his Scrooge is so, so good. It really shines through here. His interactions with Christmas Future show him mirroring Bob from earlier (he has a line that’s almost an exact quote of a line from Bob in Bah Humbug!), correcting himself, and trying to be respectful/humble. Subtle displays of emotional growth even before he gets to the truly scary parts. The song is of course a darker tone, as is correct for this part of the narrative, perfectly setting up the finale song. We get Scrooge overhearing about a funeral no one cares about, the same man being robbed after death, and this death bringing actual happiness to people. Throughout it all so far Christmas Future only speaks in a wordless melody, as is apt. Scrooge asks for tenderness connected to death and is shown the Cratchits mourning Tiny Tim, which breaks him, and he asks who the dead man was from earlier. Still wordless, Christmas Future leads him to a cemetery, and that wordless melody perfectly transforms into an eerie, ethereal, “Ebenezer Scrooge.” The fucking amount of sheer EMOTION Dylan packs into Scrooge pleading for his soul, that he is changed, and the final bit of narration… fuck, you guys, it’s so good. I love all of the “scene” parts of this song so much. It all builds so perfectly.

7a) The narrator. - This isn’t a specific song, I just want to call out how excellent the narrator is through the whole show and how perfectly the narration ties the whole show together. It’s one of those things where it goes unnoticed because it’s so perfect, but if it were bad you would definitely notice. You need it to be there and understated or a lot a falls apart, but it can be such hard balance to strike. This show nails it.

8) Christmas Day - The finale! And what a finale it is! The energy is a perfect contrast to the song before it as Scrooge delights in being alive and having time to make things right. His joy is palpable as he goes about his day, buying Bob a huge turkey, making an incredible donation to the charity he blew off the day before, and showing up at Fred’s. Guys. This scene. Especially when I watch the live, but even sometimes just via the soundtrack, this scene just fucking perfectly, beautifully guts me. You know how in Avatar: The Last Airbender, Zuko has to go on his whole narrative arc to eventually join the right side, and along the way sort of betrays his Uncle Iroh, aka the only good father figure he’s ever had, because he’s a traumatized teenager, and eventually he meets back up with him and starts stumbling out an apology and Iroh just sweeps him up in a hug without a word, and you sob because it’s perfect? That is the energy present in this, what, 15-second scene, just this incredible emotional buildup and payoff accomplished in a scant 45-minute runtime. It’s truly wondrous. The finale, as all true finales should, calls back musically to previous character beats, and ends on the perfect bookend to the opening number. It’s just so, so immensely satisfying.

Tl;dr - this musical has made me feel more Christmas-y than I have in a long, long time, and I have listened to little else in terms of music since I watched it two weeks ago. (It was literally the only music I had listened to since then until right now, and that’s only because I’m in a van on a road trip to my sister-in-law’s for Christmas. While I would have been perfectly content to listen to this soundtrack on repeat for the entire 8-hour drive, I also recognize that the four other people in this van do not have my particular flavor of hyperfixated ADHD brain and probably would not appreciate that, heh. Thus I played it once and then other music. Compromise!)

But yes. Seriously. It’s so good. Gah. Go watch it!

[crying-fantasies]

No woman, no cry

Masterlist

Many of the stories I do have a specific song that is the base, the bone and the heart of the whole work.

Personally, I feel this song, and any version of the same, to be the goodbye message for a loved one made by the person that is going away, be it for any personal reason or because they are never coming back, trying to comfort the people they are leaving behind, in case of the original one made by Bob Marley a man that is saying goodbye to his little sister, as the "woman, little sister", meaning him, the man of the house, has to go away, "but while I'm gone, everything is going to be alright" and the younger sister now has to grown up, she has to be the new head of the family, be the woman that guides the family, while he reassures her that "everything is going to be alright" over and over, going straight to the "in this great future, you can't forget your past" in how the man wants his dear sister to still be herself and be her best version too, don't forget him, but don't linger in him, the sadness will pass, and she'll be okay.

Now, I'm not exactly a MCU fan, but the version of the trailer for Black Panther 2 and the movie itself destroyed my soul and heart in the most bizarre and beautiful way, and once again you all don't have to like what I do, and that's okay, The Tems version has it's own beauty, giving off vibes of a mother calling for his beloved partner and her children, at least that's how I always felt about that version, but that trailer with the two cents of KL and his "Do you hear me? Do you feel me? We're gonna be alright" in such desperate way.

Maybe that's why I liked this song for Roddy's story, I feel terrible for what I made him go through, maybe I'll always be, but given how things go in that universe and that roulette page on Google where I put it up for destiny's picking who's SO was going to die, well, I was flabbergasted when the first one resulted being Rodimus, I was like: "no me jodas, este man no tiene respiro ni en el fanfiction" but remembering how I wanted to be fair, I went with it, making one of the most sad stories I've done so far.

I feel for Roddy and his little family, he is the epitome of trophy husband if you ask me, and also the type of "he is your husband but also your kid", and given the circumstances, this song goes well with Roddy.

He gets married young, in cybertronian perspective at least, and he chooses someone everyone else asked him: "are you sure? Like, really sure?" Not because of thinking it was bad, but because they were worried for him, by that time the fact that sparks prolonged a human average lifetime for hundreds of years by different bonds (in this reality the Amica endurae and the conjunx endurae rites have this effect in organics), so Rodimus, while being a anxious ball in the inside, said proudly "of course I do!"

Rodimus, being married young, is also a young father, and in the meantime has everyone expecting him to take his title of Prime back and stop wandering in deep space, be a good creator and leader and settle down finally to do things right, he doesn't listen, and ends up going to a dangerous place that destroyed his life.

Rodimus, a young widow and single creator to a new spark that still needs his carrier, has little to no time to mourn before Cybertron is about to fall in another war and the integrity of his only family alive is in danger, full of sorrow and anger he does something he regrets even now, making his legacy as Prime as one deeply criticized and loved in equal parts, stripping Earth, the thirteenth's, Optimus' colony of all the advantages the former Prime gave to the humans, leaving them to take care for their own problems and their own fights, humanity suffers for it, of course, but while he didn't have any hatred to humanity before the incident he now has it as humans of the Lost Light were found in labs on Earth, obviously long deceased, their own people cutting them to pieces in order to know why they didn't have any negative reaction to energon or the natural radiation cybertronians have.

The fact that he left Earth, his conjunx's planet, to the mercy of other organic aliens after humanity tried to conquer and ended up being conquered, is something that haunts him but not something he is exactly judged for as the "they had it coming" comes from mechs and femmes, Rodimus ends up asking for help to the newly recovered Optimus Prime to help Earth once again, and he does, Earth is saved, but still not learning their lesson.

He made mistakes out of anger, out of his own misery, like he did before, but this time, I wanted him to have an ounce of love his beloved would have given him if only in memories, "everything is going to be alright" you would say, comforting him "while I'm gone, everything is going to be alright", as he tries to feel that little fragment of what could be your heart, you soul, something that he could relate to a spark he just swears is still deep in his own, "do you feel me?" the fragment of your soul would call, "do you hear me?" and his spark tries to spin in the same wave as yours shine just enough to find him, trying to answer back desperately, yes, yes I do, "we're gonna be alright" and all he can do is hug Sunset near just knowing his bitlet is soon gonna be a big mech in no time, he wants to cherish the feeling of his little helm above his spark chamber, repeating your words, data banks providing with the recording of your heartbeat, the way your breathing would rouse his armor, how your body is pressed against him, giving himself comfort to go on another day.

[braunbakery]

little sparrow

☞ jean kirstein x fem reader [ one-shot word count: 2.7k]

☞ sfw, angst angst angst, canon-verse

☞ plot: the world is ending, you are on a boat to your death, and your thoughts are of jean. (takes place on the boat to the hangar in marley season 4, managa ch. 131)

☞ inspired by little sparrow - alan dunham

☞ little sparrow

jean stands at the deck of the ship looking out at the surrounding ocean. you watch him from the other side of the deck. you watch the wind brush through his hair. you watch his jaw clench as he looks up at the trail of smoke the ship is leaving in its path. you watch him.

(you’ve watched him before. you’ve spent years watching him. most times he catches your gaze and shoots you a smirk. a knowing smirk, a friendly smirk, a pitiful smirk? you don’t know. but he looks you right in the eyes when he does it and that’s all that seems to matter to you.

“what you lookin’ at, huh?” he says, knowing full well it’s him. you huff out a smile in response, trying to cover up the speeding of your heart and the dryness of your mouth.

“nothing much,” you say, and he breaks out into a smile that makes you break out into a wider one. you’ve known jean for years, you’ve been through battle and war with him, yet in this moment you still can’t tell if he knows. if he knows the way your heart tugs in your chest when he breaks your stare and looks away.)

he catches you this time too, albeit this time is different. this time the wind is rushing through both of your ears, and even if he wanted to say something, you wouldn’t be able to hear him from how far he is. even if he wanted to say something, he doesn’t. he holds your gaze and looks at you solemnly, looks at you with the kind of exhaustion that makes you want to grab him and whisk him away from all of this.

there is no smirk this time. there is no joke quipped or cheeky smile. he stares at you and it would seem almost blank if you didn’t know him inside out. and then he nods at you (a slight nod, like it’s taking all of his power to do it) and goes back to looking ahead at the waves on the horizon.

“you okay?” a voice softly asks you, cutting you out of your thoughts. you turn to your left and find armin.

“armin, hey,” you say, and offer him a smile despite current circumstances. armin nods at you again, ushering you to answer his question (like you’d tell him the truth. like you’d admit that in the midst of this war and carnage and the end of the fucking world, you’re thinking about jean kirstein and wondering if he’s thinking about you. you’re thinking about jean kirstein and wishing his heart was aching because of you and not her).

“i’m fine, i’m just –”

“just?” armin cuts you off, interrupting your rehearsed response. just looking at the waves, you wanted to say. but you know that just as you’ve know jean for years, armin has known you for those years as well. and even if you haven’t been with them through the same thick and thin that they have all endured, he knows you enough to know that you’re still pining after jean in the wake of corpses and flames.

“…just,” is all you can say back. armin offers you a slight smile (pitiful, almost. you don’t want to be pitied).

“right.”

“and you, are you okay?” you ask armin. armin nods his head at you.

“to the best of my ability.”

“and…” you look back off to your side at jean, who’s still holding the railing of the boat and looking out at the distance, “how about him?”

“he was talking to mikasa earlier and hasn’t said anything to anyone since,” armin bluntly states. you refuse to make eye contact with him.

(the mikasa of it all.

the mikasa of it all is a simple yet utterly painful concept. no matter how much you train, how much you pour your soul into being better, how much you are there for jean, you will never live up to mikasa.

and you are there for jean in an amount that is almost poisonous to you. you watch him watch her pine after eren, you offer him words of support, and in the darkest of moments you offer him yourself.

“jean,” you whisper in the in the night. you both stand leaning against the walls of headquarters, having just come back from a busy day of basically being the backbone behind building the new paradis railway. the chill of the night is biting at your cheeks and fingers and you’re barely able to see each other despite the dimly lit lantern hanging from the wall.

jean’s nose is brushing up against yours, and his breath is fanning your cheek. you had just come out here to talk, to escape the chaos of dinner (you more so believe it was to escape mikasa trying to urge eren to finish his food, but this is something that you can ignore for now as jean softly holds your face in his palms).

“is this okay?” jean whispers back at you, and when you look up into his eyes they are already boring into yours and you’re almost entranced by the reflection of the flickering lantern in them. you wonder if you stare long enough would you be able to make out mikasa’s silhouette in his thoughts?

this is not the first time this has happened. where jean has snuck you away to talk, or to walk, or to on some occasions kiss. and each time you think you feel even more deeply for him and for the way he listens and laughs at what you say. each time you think you disregard the fact that he is secretly wishing you were her more and more. more and more until you simply will yourself to forget. you swallow.

this is all you will ever get from him. that’s okay.

“yes,” you respond.

he offers you a soft and almost fleeting kiss. )

armin nudges you.

“right, okay,” you say, basically mechanically. you avoid armin’s gaze. this is ridiculous. now is not the time to become jealous and insecure of this crush that has plagued you for much too long, and yet here you stand doing exactly that. at the end of the day, you are stuck on this boat until you reach the azumabito hangar. you are stuck watching jean and wondering what it is about you that is not enough for him to be agonising over you and not her.

“maybe you should go talk to him,” armin offers.

“no, i think he’d rather be alone.”

“it’s the end of the world,” armin says. annie slowly walks past the two of you and climbs back down below deck. armin’s eyes momentarily follow her until she’s out of his vision. he looks back at you, “no one should be alone.”

armin stares at you meaningfully, and suddenly your limbs are moving before you will them to and you’re making your way to the other side of the deck. to jean. he turns his head towards you as you approach him and you can feel your stomach tie into a knot. you’ve fought men and titans, and this is what is sending your heart racing.

“hey,” you greet once you sidle up to him. jean offers you a close-mouthed smile. tired.

“hey,” he’s looking at you.

“how are you doing?” you ask as carefully as you can, jean’s smile widens and you both know it’s not out of any rush of happiness.

he laughs sarcastically, “great,” and you feel stupid until he smiles at you again, a real one this time. one that comes from sharing this whole ordeal together, “how are you?”

“fantastic,” you echo a similar sentiment. he huffs out a short laugh and you’re both looking at each other.

out of the context of death and destruction and feeling the weight of the world on your collective shoulders, you think jean looks quite beautiful right now. his eyes are tired, he has scratches across his face, his hair is tousled and there are smears of dirt over his clothes – but you are captivated by this view of him and the ocean. you think it is the most solace you have been offered in the past twenty four hours.

“you know…” you’re suddenly saying, and jean’s eyes are flitting back and forth between yours, “you know you can talk to me, jean.”

jean nods slightly and curtly, sidling up closer to you in what feels like an attempt to make sure you know what he is saying is true, “i know.” he doesn’t break away from your gaze.

“okay,” you say, “just… just reiterating.”

he tears his gaze away from you and stares ahead at the blue once more, and then you hear a slight mumbling from his direction.

“…there really isn’t anyone else i’d rather talk to.”

lie.

(jean always does this thing sometimes. he lies without meaning to, without really understanding the depth of his words. or maybe he doesn’t really understand the depth of how well you know him.

you think he has a habit of saying what he wishes to be true, what he believes to be true through logic and deduction, but not what is actually true.

he’s supposed to meet you straight after dinner outside to go for a walk. it’s not that serious, you’re just hanging out because you’re friends. you’re spending time together because your friends – but unfortunately when it comes to him it is that serious. everything is always that serious and you’re stuck waiting under the same lantern he kissed you at outside (this has become some sort of regular meeting spot now. you wonder if it holds the same significance to jean as it does to you), stuck leaning against a shitty cold wall and wondering what’s taking him so long.

at first, you don’t care – not really anyway. jean is boyish in the way that he has the same boyish stupidity that runs through half of the male population of the regiment under the age of twenty one (even armin). he’s either still eating and taking his time because he’s forgotten, getting caught up talking to someone, or taking a shit.

you venture back into the warmth of headquarters to find him and you know once he spots you he’ll remember and excuse himself.

and you do find him, outside the entryway of the dining hall of course distracted by talking to someone. talking to mikasa. and you know he was on his way out because he’s at the entryway. and some twisted part of you is enraged by the hypothetical of him knowing that you’re being kept waiting and choosing fleeting conversation with her over meeting you. a part of you is enraged by the part of you that is enraged.

and a part of you is slowly sinking back into yourself, hiding in the darkest corners of your body and trying to hold yourself together. trying not to catch onto small snippets of conversation and compare your voice to mikasa’s, your mannerisms to mikasa’s and your flare for conversation to mikasa’s (maybe you need to make yourself smaller and softer and quieter).

and then jean catches sight of you, eyes widening slightly. he holds up his index finger and mouths two words, ‘one second’.

lie.

you feel almost out of your own body when you make your way back outside and wait for ten more minutes.

you know that deep down you are somewhat just a simple distraction for jean from mikasa. whatever he wants you to be, you find yourself already morphed into it. whether a friend to laugh at his jokes or someone to hold. someone to hold him.

that does not make the reminder of it hurt any less. )

“right,” you say, lips pursed.

“what?” jean asks, angling his head to look back at you.

“nothing.”

“oh, come on,” he’s elbowing your side, echoing images of him from when he was just a young cadet, “you can’t hide from me.”

and you can’t help almost laugh to yourself at the irony of that. hiding from him is something you have been doing for years. hiding the true extent of your feelings, hiding the parts of yourself that you think will scare him away (the jealous parts. the upset parts. the angry parts that wish you had never offered yourself to him. that you had kept yourself to yourself.)

“it really is nothing, jean,” you say, placing a hand on his elbow and pushing it back down to his side. you swallow, “compared to all this anyway.”

jean holds your gaze, thinking about your statement and then sighs.

“yeah, i guess everything would be.”

a comfortable silence settles between the two of you, as you both listen to waves breaking and the wind rushing past your ears. you both lean over the railing, eyes squinting as you look out once more. the view does not get old. you don’t think it ever will.

“i hope that with some miracle eren makes it out.”

your head shoots towards jean, and you can tell he’s trying his hardest not to meet your eyes. his jaw clenches and unclenches and his grip on the railing is tighter than necessary.

“yeah,” is all you can say back. you want to give him enough room to speak. to be listened to. even if it means you have to bury whatever it is you may feel or may want to say.

“and i hope we do too,” jean continues.

your heart sinks. the thought that he may not make it terrifies you even more than the thought of your own demise. it’s scary that you feel enough for someone to not even blink an eye at your own imminent death but feel your world may come crashing down at the thought of theirs.

“jean, i –” you’re suddenly blurting out, and the way jean’s head immediately shoots towards you cuts you out of whatever it is you were going to say. you don’t know what it is you were going to say, but it feels like it’s trying to claw its way out of your mouth.

“yeah?”

“i have something to tell you,” you pronounce every vowel and syllable carefully, trying to sound them all out in a way that soothes the way your insides feel like they’re caving in.

jean’s brows scrunch in concern and you can feel him gravitating towards you (which does nothing for your heart), “yeah?”

you can hear hange yelling in the distance and out of the corner of your eye you can make out the hangar slowly coming into view. jean follows your gaze and notices it too, but then he’s looking back at you as more people shuffle across the deck.

“i –” you try to start, but there are more yells. reiner stomps up the steps and onto deck towards hange.

“i –” it gets caught in your throat again as you make out mikasa’s dark hair blowing in the wind and walking over to armin.

jean, filled with sweet concern gently places a hand on your arm, and you wish you could disappear. you wish you could escape this feeling, this aching and this torment. you wish you had never met him. you wish you could be someone else. you wish you could be the perfect someone else for him, the one that is enough.

“i love you,” you blurt out.

you’re staring at him in shock at your own words and he’s staring at you like he’s trying to piece your words together over and over to figure out what they really mean. you swallow and swallow and swallow and your heart runs and runs and runs. there’s more shuffling all around you and suddenly everyone is above deck, chattering and planning and discussing.

but it’s still just you and jean alone at this corner and you can’t hope but pray for this moment between words to go on forever, so you never have to know his reaction. so you never have to plan how to go on after it.

jean’s hand moves from your arm as he now clasps your shoulder. like a comrade.

“i need to go.”

and he makes his way to hange.

you stand and listen to the howling wind alone.

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