#and mal needs to take a hike

[13uswntimagines]

Eras of Us- Era 3: Ugh Oh, I'm Falling in Love (Taylor Swift X Morgan!Reader)

Eras of Us master list

This is the Era where they're falling in love, learning more about each other, and how to navigate their relationships with their friends and families.

warning- Sexual content in this chapter.

Author's note: Hey everyone, i'm so sorry this took so long. theres just a lot of stuff in this chapter that i really wanted to get right. I hope you enjoy it! let me know what you think. comments are literally my favorite thing.

February 2017 'Cause you could be the one that I love I could be the one that you dream of

As it turned out, being Taylor’s girlfriend was far easier than you imagined it would be. It wasn’t all that much different than when the two of you were just friends, actually. 

You two still texted continuously, now each message was dotted with a heart or a little kiss. You two still talked on the phone all of the time, though you had developed a bad habit of falling asleep on late-night calls with her. 

The only thing that had really changed was that now the photos you sent her were slightly more… suggestive on purpose. 

And now you actually got to kiss her, which was fun, except you had barely seen her since you two started dating. 

Between the holidays and dealing with your shitty agent about yet another fucked up trade, you hadn’t had time to fly to her, and she had been tied up with her family and recording her new album to fly to you. But the two of you made due (ie falling asleep on the phone with her nearly every night). 

It still sucked you wouldn’t get to see her until after January camp. At least you only had 1 more game to play in. 

“Hurry up you two,” Rose called over her shoulder, idly swinging Emily’s hand next to her. 

You groaned, adjusting your grip on Mal’s legs as her arms squeezed more tightly around your neck. “It’s not my fault this koala demanded a piggyback ride,” 

Mal had been insanely clingy since the start of camp, draping herself all over you at every opportunity. It wasn’t something you noticed at first, but it had become so constant, that it was beginning to grate on your patience. 

Especially after she interrupted you every time you tried to talk to Taylor. The only moment you had gotten alone was at 3 am, and you had been too drowsy to do more than stare at her. 

“I’m not that heavy ducky,” Mal hugged, pinching your ear. 

“No, but it’s been like 2 miles,” You huffed, tilting your head away from her, and picking up your pace so you were even with Rose and Emily. 

Emily rolled her eyes at you. “And whose fault is that?” 

You shrugged as much as you could with Mal on your back. “Cheney said they have the best mochas,”

“And it’ll make it very hard for Alex to beat you this week,” Rose snorted, gesturing towards the shiny watch on your wrist. “If you’re gonna make us take a hike to a coffee shop, you should at least be honest with why we’re taking it,” 

“She should be more active in her rest time,” You said, earning another eye roll as the four of you finally made it to the cafe Cheney had mentioned when you talked to her over the holidays. 

It was just a bonus that Alex would need to find 4 extra exercise miles to match you in her stupid little app. It’s what she had done to you with Kelley’s family’s stupid 10 mile Christmas morning hike after all. You had to go on a beach run to make up for it. 

“Or maybe you should be less competitive,” Emily grumbled, holding the door open for you and Mal to walk through. Her gaze stayed glued out the door even after you stepped through. 

You rolled your eyes. “And what fun would that be?” 

You dropped Mal’s legs as you got in line next to Rose, and she landed on her feet, but she didn’t let go of your neck like you had hoped she would.

“We would be behind in the practice scrimmages against the vets too,” You added as you turned your attention to the menu above the cashier. 

There weren’t any… normal drinks. They all had fancy names, so you had to read the description to figure out what the fuck it was. You sighed internally, deciding that you absolutely shouldn’t have listened to Cheney, because long complicated descriptions like delectable dark roast, mixed with Dutch hand-made chocolate ganache, and essence of citrus aurantium topped with creamy dreamy whipped cream and powdered orange blossoms: written out in small, tight together cursive was going to take you forever to decipher. 

Especially with the way all the L’s and E’s kept flipping places, and how Mal kept shifting your entire body each time she moved. 

You were going to have a headache by the time you actually made it through the menu. 

“Ok, those guys are totally following us,” 

You blinked in the direction of Emily’s voice, and away from the migraine-inducing menu. You followed her hand to where she was pointing at two men wearing aviators sitting at a stable near the back of the café. 

The one facing you was older, with dark salt and pepper hair, wearing a leather jacket, while the other was younger and blonde with his back to you. 

It made you roll your eyes again. 

Tony and Zach had been your shadows since you and Taylor started dating. You saw them outside your apartment building in Chicago, and ran into them everywhere you went, even when you attended a Bears game against the Chiefs. 

You could tell that they were trying to be discrete since you had brought up the issue with Taylor the first week you noticed them, but it was still annoying that she wouldn’t budge on her stance. 

“I’ll take care of it,” You grumbled, carefully untangling yourself from Mal’s grasp, ignoring the high-pitched whine she let out at being displaced. “Just order me the closest thing to a mocha please,” 

At least now you didn’t have to read the menu. 

You ignored the feeling of their eyes on your back as you walked up to the table your two bodyguards were sitting at, knocking on the wood when you were close enough. “I thought I made it clear that I don’t need a babysitter,”

“I prefer the term watchman,” Tony hummed, barely even looking at you. 

Zach nodded. “Watchmen is a much better term,” 

You glared at the blonde man, before turning back to Tony. “I prefer that you don’t follow me around and creep out my friends,” 

Tony paused, lifting a finger to shift his aviators down to the end of his nose so he could peer at you over the rim of them. “We’ll try to be more discreet,” 

You shook your head. “No. You will stop following me,” 

“Can’t. Bosses orders,” Tony shrugged, readjusting his aviators back over his eyes. “And frankly, the team doesn’t have enough security,” 

Your glare deepened. “Because no one knows who the fuck we are,” 

“Still, I shouldn’t have been able to get your room number from the front desk receptionist,” He countered. “or have Zach get into the changing room at the practice field,”

“Normal people don’t do that shit,” You grit back.

His point proved nothing. 

No fan was trying to sneak into your locker room to leave notes in your cubby and no other people had interest in your room number. 

Sure, the note and the peanut butter cookies Taylor had delivered to your room were cool, but two men staking out every place you went certainly was not. Not when Emily wouldn’t shut up about your mysterious friend being in the mob because now you had people following you. 

She couldn’t give up on the angle, going so far that even Mal was annoyed with her. 

You had been annoyed 5 weeks ago when she brought the idea up for the first time during New Year's when she spotted them after you came out of a fried chicken place in Atlanta. 

Tony sighed, fixing his leather jacket.“If you're really insistent about this, you know who you need to take it up with. Otherwise, I think Ms. Sonnett, Ms. Pugh, and Ms. Lavelle have finished ordering,” 

It irritated you that he always referred to your friends so formally, even if he had never met them. 

“I will,” You grit out, already pulling your phone out of your pocket. “Because you two are ridiculous,” 

Tony made a face, dipping his aviators to peer at you again. “And Taylor is ridiculous for caring about your safety?”

You opened and closed your mouth several times. That wasn’t fair. 

Tony slid his glasses back into place as a waitress brought them 2 coffees. 

Your jaw clenched and you didn’t your best not to glare at the smug way he sipped the steaming glass. You hadn’t even seen them order. 

“Your friends have chosen a table,” He hummed, tilting his head to where Emily, Mal, and Rose were all staring at you with wide eyes. 

“This isn’t the end of this conversation,” You muttered, grabbing one of the 3 chocolate chip cookies that had been delivered with their coffee. 

“We will try to be more discreet,” Zach said, passing you a napkin. 

You took a bite of your cookie. “You better,” 

“We’ll do our best,” Tony chuckled, gesturing towards your friends with his chin again. “Go enjoy your overly fancy coffee,”

You made a low noise, turning on your heel and heading back over to your friends, who were overtly staring at the men now. 

“You’re in the mob right?” Emily asked before you were even fully seated in the chair next to Mal. 

You didn’t reply, instead breaking the cookie into 3 and passing the larger part to Rose for her and Emily to share and the other to Mal, who was already wrapping herself around you again. 

“Emily stop,” The forward whined loudly in your ear as she took the cookie. 

“Oh come on, just answer the question,” Emily said, her lips pulling into a teasing grin. “it’s totally obvious,”

“I’m not in the mob,” You grumbled, taking a sip of your coffee and frowning. 

You liked mochas, they were your go-to order, but this one had caramel in it, and was far too sweet. You would drink it anyway though, because one of your friends had paid for it. 

Rose leaned forward in her chair, resting crossed arms on the table in front of her conspiratorially. “Then why was our coffee already paid for?”

You frowned, your cup hitting the table with a low thud. “What?”

“I gave them my name and she said someone had already paid for us,” Rose said, her voice low. 

Your eyebrows pulled more tightly together. “Who?”

“Someone named Athena,” Rose wiggled her eyebrows at you, and you rolled your eyes. 

It had been Taylor. Of course, it was her, she had even sent the goons she had following you coffees and an extra cookie. 

Of course that was the name Taylor used. 

She had been making fun of her nickname since she found out that it was her contact name in her phone, and you blushed through your explanation that she was a goddess and the smartest person you knew. 

“See, totally a mob boss name,” Emily said accusingly, gesturing wildly with her hands. “who else would call themselves Athena,”

You were afraid that if you rolled your eyes again they would fall out of your head, so you refrained. 

No matter how good it would have felt. 

You pulled away from Mal and wrestled your phone out of your pocket. You flipped to your messages, ignoring the one aptly named Athena for now, opening the thread you shared with Alex to get it to stop buzzing. 

Alexandria🐬: Did you have to walk to a coffee shop across the city? Haven’t you ever heard of an Uber?

MiniMorgs: Wanted to get some fresh air, and Cheney recommended it

Alexandria🐬: More like you wanted to win this week’s challenge. Was it worth the walk?

MiniMorgs: I didn’t have to read the overly complicated menu, so yes. #dyslexic problems

Alexandria🐬: LoL. Maybe we should get you yellow-tinted glasses to help with that

MiniMorgs: Whatever. Good luck catching up on miles

Alexandria🐬:🖕🏻

Another coffee cup landed in front of you with a clink, and you blinked up from your phone at the waitress. 

You frowned up at her. “Ugh, thanks?” 

You hadn’t ordered another coffee. 

“The person who paid for your order also asked us to make an extra mocha, no caramel, no whipped cream, and no sweetening syrup,” The young girl explained quickly, her hands fidgeting in front of her. “it also comes with a heart and a little winky face,” 

“Oh, thanks,” You sent her a genuine smile, the dimple on your left cheek poking out just a bit. 

She blushed.

“No problem,” she said, turning away from you and your friends very quickly before practically running back to the counter. 

You didn’t watch her as she left, instead sipping your new coffee and sighing in content. 

It was exactly what you wanted. The perfect cup of coffee if you did say so yourself. 

You glanced back down at your phone, flipping through your messages to the one labeled Athena👸🏼

Thanks for the coffee. It’s much better than the sugary shit Emily ordered.

“Do you have to flirt with every woman you see?” Mal scoffed, placing more of her weight on you as she draped her arms over your shoulders. 

You grunted, slipping your phone in your pocket and adjusting in your seat so she didn’t knock you over. “I wasn’t flirting, I was just being nice,” 

You practically felt her roll her eyes as Emily snorted across from you. 

“What? I was!” You bit out, your voice dripping in incredulity. 

“You used the smile you use when you’re trying to get into someone’s pants,” Mal hummed, her lips caressing the shell of your ear as her hand dipped its way under the hem of your Alexia Putellas Barça jersey.  “I would know,” 

You jerked away from her, nearly spilling your coffee. Your chair squeaked as you pushed away, creating space between the two of you. 

You didn’t want her touching you. 

Not like you had in the past. 

There was a time when you craved her touch. Where you twisted yourself into knots to be worthy of her affection. 

You allowed yourself to get closer to her than you had to anyone else, and in the end she had decided that you still weren’t good enough. 

She decided that you would never be good enough for her. Not like Dansby was. But even after that you had pined after every little scrap of care she sent you, and you allowed yourself to believe that it was all you deserved. 

That it was real.

Even in your short time with Taylor, you knew that real was something very different.  She didn’t make you feel like you were always making up for something. Like you had to earn her care. 

She made you feel worthy and had butterflies flapping in your chest. She made you feel seen, even before you were together, and you wouldn’t do anything to put that in jeopardy. 

“Whoa, easy there,” Emily chuckled. “Didn't think you were so sensitive to the mention of your history,” 

You shifted uncomfortably, fixing the edge of your jersey. 

“Just tickled me,” You muttered, taking another sip of your coffee as Mal didn’t even hesitate to wrapped herself around you again. 

You ignored the knowing look Rose sent you, and cleared your throat. “We should probably head back though. Think you can walk on your own this time?” 

You gently elbowed Mal, sending Emily a cheeky grin when she wiggled her eyebrows. 

Mal sighed heavily, her lips returning to near your ear. “I don’t think so. I think I still need a piggyback,”

You huffed at her pouted words, shoving your extra coffee cup into her hands as you stood. “You have to carry the cups though,” 

“Deal!” She cheered, already trying to climb on your back. 

You didn’t have the heart (or the stomach) to tell her that you didn’t want to carry her back. You couldn’t when it made her light up so much. 

“You’re such a pushover,” Rose muttered as she held the café door open for you. 

You shrugged as much as you could with Mal on your back.

You were a people pleaser to your core, and you couldn’t help that. Mal was your friend and you liked to make her happy. 

Taylor would understand. 

*****

You were sweating your ass off by the time you made it back to the team hotel, and your legs felt like you had just played 90 minutes. 

You supposed walking 4 miles with a fully grown forward on your back would do that to you, and the detours Emily kept taking because of the “Mob Guys” following you made the journey more like 6. Dawn was not going to be pleased, and you felt like you needed a recovery day to recover from your recovery day. 

You dropped Mal’s legs as you stepped into the welcome AC of the lobby, ignoring her yelp at the move. 

“I’m done being your pack Mule,” You muttered, breathing hard. “Use your own damn legs,”

“Not a mule. A graceful stallion,” Mal hummed, leaning in and placing a kiss on your cheek before she skipped off. “Thanks for the ride,” 

She missed your eye roll.  But Kelley didn’t. “Coming on a bit strong, isn't she?” 

You blinked at Kelley, pulling your sunglasses up to rest in your wavy curls, taking in the way she was shifting awkwardly from foot to foot. “Don’t they always?” 

“You didn't have a friends-with-benefits relationship with most of the people who hit on you,” Kelley shrugged. 

You made a sound low in your throat, scratching the back of your neck. “I’m not interested in continuing that,” 

You didn’t know she knew about that.

“I know,” Kelley nodded, her hand landing warm and grounding on your shoulder. “You’re interested in burrito girl,” 

You hummed. 

You were more than just interested in Taylor, and Kelley knew that. She had been getting regular updates after she talked you off the ledge the morning after, and it was kinda nice to get to share with someone. 

Kelley shifted again, and you scratched harder at the back of your neck as a very uncomfortable silence settled over you. 

“I didn’t bring you coffee,” You said, finally looking at her. 

Your eyebrows pulled tightly together. She was spinning the ring on her forefinger more rapidly than you had ever seen, and shifting like she was… nervous. 

“I know,” She said, her eyes flicking up to meet your blue before rapidly looking away. “Can we chat though?” 

You frowned. “What’s up?” 

Kelley bit her lip and led you over to an isolated meeting room, closing the door behind you. 

She took a steadying breath like she was stealing herself as she turned to look at you. “I’m going to ask your sister to marry me,” 

You stared at her, your mouth dropping open at her words. 

She was going to ask your sister to marry her. 

Her and Alex were going to get married. 

But weren’t they practically married already? They had been together since you were 10. They lived together, had 2 dogs and were actively looking for a team to transfer to together. 

You shouldn’t have been surprised, but you were.  So you did what you always did when you were caught off guard. 

You painted a playful smirk on your face, wiggling your eyebrows. “Alex right? Because I don’t think Jen or Jerry will react well,” 

Kelley sighed. “I’m being serious. We’ve been together for almost 7 years. I love her,” 

You raised an eyebrow at her, your smirk melting a little. “Ok, and?” 

She spun her ring a little faster. “I’m not asking your permission, but-���

“You want my blessing or some shit?” You cut her off, your eyebrows furrowing impossibly deeper. “Jesus Kell, her and I haven’t had a proper conversation since I was like 12. My opinion doesn’t matter,”

You actively avoided conversations with your sister. She barely knew anything about the adult version of yourself. 

There was no way she could care what you thought about her marrying Kelley. 

Kelley shook her head, closing the distance between you and catching your hand. “I think your opinion is one of the only ones she cares about,” 

Her voice went very soft, and you swallowed hard. You weren’t at a place to consider what she meant. You couldn't deal with all of the baggage that came with the implications. 

Yes, you were fairly content to interact with her through the stupid app the two of you competed on, but that was nothing deeper than just that. A competition. 

It didn’t mean anything. Not like Kelley was assuming it meant. 

You shook your head, swallowing down your feelings and locking them into a little box in the center of your chest. 

“She might be my sister, but I’ll kick her ass if she hurts you. Or says no, even though she’s not going to say no. She loves you. I guess I’ll kick your ass too if you hurt her so don’t,” You said softly, drawing up the courage to meet Kelley’s eyes again. 

A brilliant smile broke across her face, and her eyes lit up like the two of you had just won the World Cup. “I promise I won’t kid,” 

“Good,” You ran a hand through your hair, sucking in a long breath through your nose. “Is there anything else?”

“Don’t you want to know how I’m going to do it?” Kelley asked, her eyebrows furrowing. 

Your shoulders lifted and fell. 

Maybe a part of you cared about whatever romantic thing Kelley had planned for her, but the larger part just… wasn’t interested.  It wasn’t like you were involved in Alex’s life. You didn’t get to see the ins and outs of her relationship with Kelley, and that was your own choice. If you got too close, you knew you would get hurt. 

You had before anyway. 

“As long as it’s not during or directly after sex, I think it’ll be fine,” You huffed out, covering your wavering curiosity. 

Kelley rolled her eyes. “I’m going to do it when we go to New York. I have a reservation for the top of the Empire State Building,”

“That’ll be pretty,” You hummed, your voice going soft. 

You knew how much your older sister loved city lights. It was nearly as much as she loved to look at the stars. 

When the two of you were young, you would sit on the roof outside of her window for hours staring at the sky, naming the constellations. It was what got you so into Greek mythology after all. You wondered if she still remembered all of the stories. 

“She loves the lights,” Kelley agreed, watching you carefully. “We’re going to have dinner after. Jen and Jerrie will be there,” 

You nodded. “I’ll be there too,” 

“Excellent,” Kelley’s smile just got wider. 

“Yeah,” You said, trailing off and looking towards the door. “I told Alyssa I’d watch film with her before the game tomorrow, so are we done?” 

Kelley chuckled, not at all surprised that you wanted to escape this conversation. “Wouldn’t want to keep the head of the Department of Defense waiting,” 

You always pulled away when your family was mentioned, and that habit was only magnified when emotions were also involved. 

“Nope,” You muttered, practically running towards the door. 

She wished things were different.

Alex was making the steps to bridge the gap in your relationship, and for the first time in a long time, you seemed willing to meet her halfway.  Neither of them were sure exactly what had caused the rift, or why you had always been so… reluctant to let her fix it. Or to talk about it in general.

She hoped that the little steps would actually lead to something this time.  She hoped that you would let your walls down. She hoped that you would actually let yourself be happy. 

*****

Rain pounded down around you as you tracked the ball across midfield. 

Games like this were your favorite. 

The USWNT was up by 4 and there was only 30 seconds of stoppage time left. You had a goal and 2 assists and you had played incredibly well. It was 75 degrees so the rain was like the mist from a shower, warm and comfortable. 

It let you take your mind off of the stupid phone call that had come just before you loaded up the bus to head to the stadium. It drowned out Roary Dame’s voice explaining that you were a great play, just not what they needed. 

Explaining that he had put your name in the trading block for the highest draft pick they could get. So they could finally have their star striker because you were the wrong Morgan for that. 

This game made you feel… good. It made you feel powerful. 

You smiled at Sam as she came to a stop beside you. 

Alex and Mal were getting ready to take a time-wasting corner to end the game, and you and Sam were just there in case Jamaica got a counter opportunity. 

“Emily says you’re in the mob now,” She said conversationally. “And that you have two huge dudes following you around,” 

You rolled your eyes. “I’m not in the mob,” 

“But you do have 2 dudes following you,” She asked, tilting her head to the mouth of the tunnel where Zach and Tony were huddled under an umbrella. 

They were right, it was kinda scary how far they could get without any real security clearance. They shouldn’t have been able to get into the stadium, much less on the field, but here they were. 

“I have a very overprotective friend,” You muttered as the ref blew the signature three whistles to signal the end of the game. You paused before you ran off.

Taylor wasn’t your friend, she was something much much more. You didn’t feel right calling her a friend. 

You turned back to Sam, scratching the wet hairs off the back of your neck. “Well, a very protective more than a friend,” 

A smile broke across her features, and you couldn’t help but match it.  “Don’t mention that to anyone though,” You added, suddenly nervous that she would tell the team, and then the rumor mill would start.

You weren’t ready to answer questions about Taylor yet. Or to listen to your teammates tease you. You also didn’t want to share her yet. 

Sam winked at you. “Your secret is safe with me,” 

“Thanks,” You said, heading towards the tunnel, pausing at a young girl waving a soaked-through Morgan sign a few feet away from the tunnel. 

You could see a big 13 painted on the sign, so you knew it wasn’t meant for you, but still it was your name too. 

“Hey, I like your sign,” You hummed, flashing the girl a million-dollar smile, ignoring the phones pointed in your direction. “Even if it has the wrong number on it,” 

The girl blushed deeply. “I like you too. I just wasn’t sure what number you would be wearing,” 

It was a good excuse, you thought. Or it would have been over a year ago before you made the switch to number 12. 

You hated when they pretended to give a shit about you just because you were the one standing in front of them. You knew the only Morgan they really cared about was your sister, and you wished they would just own it. 

“Well thank ya,” You winked, ignoring her little lie. “I know it’s just because she’s a striker. Everyone loves a good goal scorer,” 

The red in the girl's cheeks got even more pronounced, and your grin turned slightly wolfish. She didn’t hear the bitter note in your voice. 

Everyone wanted the star striker, something you would never be. 

“Do you have something you want me to sign?” 

The girl shook her head, looking at her friend who also shook her head. The girl looked back at you, biting her lip. 

“Can I get your jersey?” She asked hesitantly, and your smirk only got wider. 

“I think I can do one better,” You said, turning back towards the field. Your eyes roved over the players until you found the one you were looking for. 

“Hey Al,” You called out, cupping your hands over your face to amplify the sound. 

Her head snapped in your direction, and you waved her over. You tried not to let it bother you that the girl's squeals got so much louder as she jogged over, a questioning smile on her face. 

“What’s up?” She asked as soon as she was close enough, and you could hear the slight surprise in her voice. It was one of the first times you had actually spoken to her since last camp.

You tilted your head towards the fans beside you. “You’ve got a fan and you owe me because I beat you 5 weeks in a row,” 

“And?” She raised an eyebrow at you. 

“I’m cashing in,” You said, again tilting your head towards the fans. “She would like your jersey,” 

Alex never took her eyes off of you as she stripped off her soaked-through jersey, and passed it to the girl. It was like she was trying to figure out what you were thinking.  But she had lost the ability to read your mind years ago. 

“Thanks,” You said, flashing her a grin and turning back towards the girl. “Now you’ve got the jersey you actually want,” 

Alex’s lips pulled downward at the sarcasm in your tone, hidden by false cheeriness. It was the same tone you used when something was annoying you, but you didn’t know how (or have the courage) to vocalize it. 

“Oh my god, thank you!” The girl cheered, looking at Alex instead of at you. 

“Both of you,” She added quickly when Alex raised an eyebrow at her. 

You waved her off, throwing a “No worries,” over your shoulder as you headed towards the tunnel to get out of the rain. 

Alex waved at the girls too, sending them a smile before jogging off after you. There was something so… off about that interaction, and she wasn’t willing to let it go anymore. 

Her and Kelley had discussed it, and while she understood the defender's advice to not push you. To let you come to her, she was tired of waiting. 

The texting was nice, but it didn’t carry over to your real-life interactions and that was… frustrating. It wasn’t getting her anywhere. 

She caught your arm as you rounded the corner to the locker room, spinning you on the spot and stepping into your space so you were pinned against the cold concrete wall of the tunnel, unable to run away this time. 

“What the fuck was that all about?” She asked, keeping her voice level, even though the two of you were nose to nose. 

Your eyes flashed up to meet hers, identical blue boring into yours. It made you feel like she could see into your soul. Like you were naked in front of her.  You so badly wanted to look away but you couldn’t.

“She had a Morgan sign with a huge 13 on it, so I went to say hello,” You shrugged, trying to sound nonchalant, but Alex saw through it. “And they asked for a jersey, but I knew it wasn’t mine they wanted,”

There was something in your voice, in your posture that she couldn’t place. 

“But they asked you for it?” She pressed, and your eyes flicked away from her as you gave her a barely perceptible nod. 

“It would have been a consolation prize. They wanted yours,” You said, twisting your arm free and finally squeezing out from where you were trapped. “Everyone always wants yours,”

You muttered the last part under your breath as you tried to make your way down the hallway, but Alex heard you anyway. 

She again caught your arm before you could walk away, again spinning you around to face her. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing Alex,” You grumbled, shaking your head and again breaking her hold on you. “Just drop it,”

“No. I will not drop it,” She bit back, not letting you walk away from her. “I’ve been dropping it since you were 10 and look where it’s gotten us. I can’t fix something if I don’t understand what’s wrong,” 

It was as if she let you leave. If she let you go before she understood you would be gone for good. You would lose the progress you had made. 

Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “Fix it?” 

What did Alex mean that she wanted to fix it? She didn’t have a Time Machine. 

“Yes. Fix it,” She said, fighting to keep her volume low and her tone even. You didn’t respond well to exasperation. “We were so close and now it’s like we can’t even stand each other. I don’t want us to be this tense for the rest of our lives,” 

You stared at her like she had 3 heads. There was nothing that she could do. No magic wand she could wave to change it. 

The world preferred her over you, and they probably always would. You had learned from the time you were small that you weren’t worth as much as Alex was. You were invisible when she was there. You accepted it. The only person who didn’t make you feel that way was Taylor.

You shook your head. “There is nothing to fix Alex. You can’t do anything. Now let me go,” 

Her face fell, and something broke in her eyes. It made your heart hurt, but it was the truth. 

You twisted your arm out of her grasp and turned on your heel heading into the locker room. Alex stared after you, something you said gnawing in her brain. 

Everyone always wants yours

It was nearly as bad as the “Now that everyone is watching you care. Now when it’s convenient” you gave her on the practice field in November. 

She wasn’t sure what had happened between the two of you, or why you were so… frustratingly stubborn about allowing her to build a bridge over the mile-wide gap between you. 

Your attitude shifting was also giving her whiplash. You seemed so… open over text. So willing to interact.  She didn’t know how to navigate it all, and it seemed that you weren’t at all willing to help her. 

“You good?” 

Alex jumped at Kelley’s voice in her ear and gentle hands on her shoulders. 

“No,” she shook her head, relaxing back into the defender's grasp. 

Kelley hummed, and placed a kiss just below her ear, soothing her. “What happened?”

“Y/n called me over to give a girl my jersey, and then told her that she had the one she actually wanted,” Alex explained, frustration evident in her voice. “and when I asked, she told me that everyone always wants mine,” 

“Al, we talked about this,” Kelley sighed, as your sister pulled away from her. 

“I know,” Alex grumbled running a frustrated hand through her soaked hair. 

They had many conversations about it. They both agreed that the best move was to take it slow. To let you dictate the pace, but neither of them expected you to be so… passive-aggressive. 

Not when you let people push you too far because you didn’t know how to set limits, or you just pretended like they didn’t exist. 

She didn’t know how to act when you went out of your way to interact with her and then tried to run away. 

“But we never accounted for this,” She gestured wildly towards the locker room door. “She called me over,” 

“And then you chased after her,” Kelley countered. “Because she told you a snippet of what’s bothering her that is supposed to make sense, but it doesn’t because you don’t have context. And you need to understand. I know,” 

“She said I can’t fix it, Kell,” Alex’s voice finally broke, and Kelley was quick to pull the striker into her chest as her shoulders shook. “What am I supposed to do?” 

Kelley closed her eyes, resting her cheek on the top of Alex’s head, holding her tightly. 

She could see it from your side. 

Alex had spent years unsure of how to bridge the ever-widening gap between you. You had spent years being compared to her, being crucified by the media for not being her, so it made sense for you to be wary. For you to try and protect yourself.  What didn’t make sense was the hot and cold way you were going about it. 

“I’ll talk to her,” Kelley said, holding your sister together as she crumbled. “But we need to take this at her pace. And that means one step at a time,”

*****

Slipping out of the locker room undetected was far easier than you expected it to be, but then again you had retreated to the showers long before most of the team was even off of the field. You hadn’t been planning to escape, but when the text came through on your phone, it was a no-brainer. 

You smiled widely as you made the final turn down the tunnel, revealing Taylor leaning up against the large Visitors sign texting. “Fancy meeting you here, I thought you had album stuff,” 

“Heard you didn’t like my henchmen,” She smirked, pushing herself off the wall and meeting you halfway. “So I thought I’d come to check on you myself,”

You nearly fell with the force of the hug, burying your face in her neck and squeezing her tightly to you. “I don’t like the henchmen. I don’t need babysitters,”

She hummed, leaning back just enough to look you in the eyes and brushing your wet curls out of your eyes. “You don’t need babysitters, but you do need protection. Let me be a little overprotective of you,” 

You could feel her breath on your lips, and you couldn’t help but lean in and connect your mouths. Your hands slipped into the back pocket of her jeans and you squeezed lightly. 

It was slightly scary how addicted to her you were. How you craved her touch. 

She made a low sound in the back of her throat. One of her hands hooked into the hem of your sweats, and the other wove into the short curls at the back of your neck, pulling you tighter to her. 

You stumbled forward molding yourself to her, as the kiss changed. Her tongue slipped into your mouth, running against yours, and you could feel her desire. 

It didn’t surprise you. You knew what she wanted. What she expected. It was the same thing that every girl expected from you, so you just let it happen. 

You let her pull you into the closet (unsure of how it appeared out of thin air, or where her shirt had suddenly disappeared to), pushing her against the only wall not covered in athletic equipment, and pinning her there with your hips. 

Your lips dragged across her neck, and you longed to pull the velvety skin into your mouth. To place a mark, a claim out in the open where everyone could see. But you didn’t. 

You trailed down to her collarbone, skimming your teeth along it as your hand slid into her pants, past her underwear, and through her warm wetness. 

You couldn’t help the smirk that graced your features. “Is this all for me?” 

“You’re hot when you play,” She keened as you teased at her entrance, gathering her slick on your middle finger. “And even hotter when you’re drenched and you kept pulling your shirt off to wipe the rain out of your eyes,” 

You hummed, tracing her lower lips and brushing your middle finger across her clit. Her hips jolted, knocking into your thigh and it reminded you of how players always fought you for ball possession. 

How they would press back into you while you tried to tap it through their legs. How they always bucked back to keep you from picking their pocket. 

Taylor’s head hit the wall, and you worked your lips back up her neck, lingering on the underside of her jaw. “Please y/n,”

You hummed, dragging your teeth along her chin, and slipping your finger inside. She was warm and tight, squeezing your fingers as you dragged them against her walls. 

Her hand tightened in the short curls at the base of your neck, while the other clawed at the bare skin of your shoulders. 

She tasted like sweat and rain, and something just so Taylor. 

It was like the sun on your face during the perfect practice, using your arm to wipe the sweat off your upper lip after you sank a ball past one of the keepers.  It was like your teammates pulling you into tight hugs, running their fingers through your hair after you scored on a scorching summer day, their hands slipping through yours as they headed back to their starting positions. 

She shuddered against you as you curled your fingers, finding the spongy patch inside of her, and you carefully ran your teeth across the special spot right below her ear. 

It made you feel… powerful to have her so on edge already.  Nearly as powerful as when you were 5 goals up on a team, or when a player couldn’t make it past you in midfield. 

“Y/n,” 

It was like playing with Mal, and how you knew where she was going to be before she moved, so you could pull the opposing players and set her up for a goal. 

Except it was better. It was what you imagined scoring in the World Cup would feel like. Or assisting in a goal. 

“Y/n,” Taylor panted, using the hand in your hair to tug you away from her neck. 

“What baby?” you asked, glassy eyes blinking blearily up at her as you again curled your fingers. 

Her head fell back and hit the wall with a thump.  “Oh my god,” She moaned low in her throat, fighting to get out whatever she was saying. She swallowed hard, her hands keeping you from continuing your ministrations. “The door,” 

As if on cue, three loud rasps sounded from the door just to your left. “I know you’re in there Y/n. We need to talk. Now,”

Your head fell forward and landed heavily on Taylor’s shoulder as you let out a groan at Kelley’s voice. “One second,”

Why did she always have to pick the wrong moment? 

You pulled back, meeting Taylor’s eyes. “Just stay here,” 

She nodded, sucking in a deep breath as you removed yourself from her, and ran your hand through your hair, trying to straighten your ever-messy curls. Your other hand fixed your rumpled shirt, and she frowned.  She could have sworn you took yours off when you devested her of hers. 

You opened the door just a crack, pushing your head out and glaring at Kelley. “What? I’m busy,”

Her eyebrows were pulled tightly together, a frown firmly set in her features. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”

You felt Taylor’s hand on the top of your back, warm and heavy, comforting in a way you weren’t sure you would ever really deserve. 

“A lot of things,” You grumbled, shifting so Kelley couldn’t get a good look inside the closet.  “I’ll need more information to give you a more defined answer,” 

Her eyes narrowed. “You told Alex that she couldn’t fix it between you,” 

“She can’t,” You shrugged. “Are we done?” 

“No,” Kelley bit back, her hand finding the door to prevent you from slamming it closed. “Not until you talk to your sister and fix this shit,” 

You were already shaking your head. “Talking is not something that Alex and I do,”

Kelley snorted. “But you’ll text,” 

You shrank a little at her tone. 

The texting was different. It was safer, more controlled. She wasn’t close enough to hurt you. You needed that distance. 

You felt a hand on your back, rubbing gentle circles at the point that always grew so tense when you were stressed. 

You let out a breath. “That’s different. We only text when one of us is winning,” 

“Is it?” Kelley pressed, unwilling to let it go.  “Because from the outside, it looks like you share more than just your exercise routine,” 

The hand grew more insistent, and you closed your eyes. “I don’t want to argue with you,”

You could understand why Kelley was upset. She was protective over the people she loved, and while you knew she cared for you, it was nothing compared to how much she loved your sister. She would always choose Alex over you. 

And that was ok. It would be weird if it wasn’t that way. 

“No, you just want to get back to your quick fuck,”

Kelley's mouth twisted around the words, and it felt like a knife slipping into your chest. 

You flushed red, and a hand caught the back of your collar as you jerked forward. “Don’t call her that,” 

You knew what your reputation was, but you never expected Kelley to try and use it against you. Taylor was far more than a quick fuck. You cared about her more than you cared about nearly anyone. 

his was why you hadn’t told Kelley yet. 

Kelley took a step back, sucking in a calming breath through her nose. “Look, all I’m saying is that you need to cut Alex some slack. It’s not fair for her with your hot and cold routine. You at least have to meet her halfway,” 

“I’m trying,” You sighed, running a hand through your wild curls. “What else do you want from me when my own team is fucking trading me because I’ll never be the striker that she is,”

Kelley frowned. “What?”

“Those kids said they didn’t know my number because it was new. I changed it over a year ago. They didn’t have anything for me to sign, because they didn’t want my signature. They wanted Alex. Everyone always wants Alex, and that’s not something she can fix,” You explained, your voice going soft and… honest. “I wasn’t being cruel. I was being honest,”

“Oh,” Kelley’s frown deepened, as your comment to Alex suddenly made sense. 

The fans had lied to you when you were already hurt from the trade. They made you feel more unwanted. 

“Yeah oh,” You said, running another hand through your hair. “We text when one of us is winning. That’s our relationship, so just leave it. Is there anything else?” 

Kelley shook her head and cleared her throat. “Bus leaves in 30,”

You painted a smirk across your features.

“Cool, I’ll see you in 29 then,” You said, as you slammed the door, and turned to lean against it. You slid down until you were seated, drawing your knees to your chest and letting your head fall against it with a low thump. “Fuck me,”

Why did Kelley always have to make things difficult?

Sure she was kinda right, but why did she have to remind you of that and get you to admit why you were upset? It was so infuriating that she wouldn’t let you keep her at arm's length. 

“I would but I don’t think that’ll help,” Taylor chuckled, settling down beside you, resting a hand on your knee. 

You groaned, blinking at her. You had nearly forgotten she was there. And that she was shirtless…“You’d be surprised. There’s something very… freeing about losing yourself in someone else,” 

There was something freeing in having all of a woman’s attention. Of you just being enough for them even if it was only for a moment. Of having something Alex never had, and of being in the only situation where you couldn’t be compared to her (though a few girls had mused about it afterward, it’s why you started skipping the after-cuddling). 

Taylor made a low noise, shaking her head. “I think talking will help you more in the long run,” 

You shrugged. You didn’t want to argue with her. 

“I’m sorry Kelley interrupted before you could…you know…” You blushed deeply, rubbing harder at the back of your neck. You couldn’t say the word orgasm. 

Taylor frowned, her thumb pausing on the inside of your knee. “Y/n,” 

You didn’t stop though. You didn’t let her ask you the hard question. 

“I’m surprised the goon squad didn’t stop them, especially since your goons are here too,”  You said, scratching your neck, and tugging off your sweatshirt by the hood. “Here,” 

You passed her the item, watching with rapt attention as she pulled it on, and her abs flexed.

“Jason is getting the car, and Tony is at the end of the hall,” She hummed, doing the button on her pants once your hoodie was on. “I don’t really like having an audience,”

You wiggled your eyebrows, painting a charming smile back on your face, even though it took too much effort. “And you assumed I’d jump you?”

It was slightly alarming how easily you locked your emotions away. How you could pretend like there wasn’t something bothering you when it had been so obvious just seconds before? 

It set off red flags in her brain because a talent like that wasn’t inherent. It was learned. 

“No,” She shook her head, deciding not to comment on how easily you flipped that switch. “I just knew how much I missed you,” 

Your mask fell slightly. “I missed you too,” 

You meant it. Being away from Taylor was harder than your pride would let you admit. 

You had never been so… taken with someone. So addicted to them. But she made you feel seen and safe. It made you want to spend every second with her, wrapped around her. 

“Can I take you to dinner?” She asked, squeezing your knee. 

You shrugged. “I have to go back to the team hotel first to do cool down and check-in,” 

“I can pick you up afterward,” Taylor suggested. 

“That sounds agreeable,” You nodded, your lips twisting into a devilish smirk. “But what are we going to do in the,” You looked at the time on your phone. “25 minutes we have before the bus leaves?”

Taylor matched your smirk, catching the front of your shirt and pulling you closer. “I can think of a few things,” 

OoOoOoO

March 2017

I, I loved you in spite of Deep fears that the world would divide us So, baby, can we dance  Oh, through an avalanche?

You didn’t particularly enjoy fancy restaurants. You didn’t particularly like most restaurants to begin with, but ones with a dress code always made you uncomfortable. Their menus always had a small font, and the white tablecloths never stayed white. 

The stuffy atmosphere usually lent itself to stuffy conversations, and it reminded you too much of business lunches or dinners with your parents to ever really enjoy yourself. 

You had learned over the years that your opinion didn’t really matter. That everything wasn’t about you. So you were fairly adept at painting a charming smile on and acting normal. 

It has worked for most of the night with your sisters and Kelley anyway. 

It was easy when Jen and Jerri were gushing over the new diamond ring on Alex’s finger. When they kept asking for every little detail of how Kelley proposed on top of the Empire State Building. 

And you played along, never speaking directly to Alex, but not being weird enough that anyone would notice.  You wouldn’t ruin this for her, or for Kelley. 

“You alright over there space cadet?” Jerri asked, nudging your shoulder and pulling your brain from where you were trying to decipher the tiny writing on the menu. 

You blinked up at the four women, realizing that they (and the waiter) were staring expectantly at you. “What?”

“Kell asked if you were ready to order,” Jen supplied patiently. 

You were just grateful that no one giggled, but you blushed anyway. 

You tried to cover it by snapping your menu closed. “Oh, yeah,”

Kelley blinked at you, gesturing towards the waitress. “What are you going to order?”

You felt the heat in your cheeks travel up to your ears, but still, you tried to play it off. “Oh, you guys can go first,”

Jerri shook her head, placing her hand gently on your arm. “We already have sweetheart,”

You frowned, squinting down at your closed menu. You had missed them ordering, and now you didn’t have time to try and decipher the hieroglyphic font the restaurant had chosen. Not that you would have been able to. 

The letters tended to go more haywire when you were stressed, and you would be damned before you asked someone to help you. Your jaw worked as you thought of what to say.  What could you say?

“You love chicken parm, and I heard it’s good here,” Alex said casually like it was normal to suggest food items after everyone else had already ordered. “or they have a very good salmon in pink sauce if you’re feeling something lighter,” 

Your eyes darted to her for the first time since you had sat down at the stable, and your jaw hung open. 

Alex intervening so seamlessly when you were struggling wasn’t something that had happened since she moved to Berkeley (you couldn’t help how you sneered the word in your head). 

Jerri nudged you again, and you cleared your throat, your eyes still glued to Alex. 

 “The salmon sounds good actually,” You mumbled, finally getting your voice to work. 

The waitress hummed, and you heard her little ticket book close. “I’ll go put that in,” 

You were sure that Kelley or Jen responded to the girl, but you didn’t look away from Alex. 

It was just so…not Alex of her. For her to have options ready and waiting meant that she had to have thought that you might have trouble. She had to have consciously decided to look for options that you would like too, and to have more than one so you actually got to choose. 

It meant that she cared. 

You swallowed very hard. That thought was too overwhelming. 

Now, at the dinner, after she just got engaged was not the time to contemplate if Alex even had the capability to care about you. It would again make the evening about you when it most certainly was not. 

You could feel the eyes of Kelley and your sisters, despite the way they restarted their conversation. It was like they were watching a car crash or a roller coaster derail. 

You felt like a spectacle. Like you were drawing attention when you absolutely should not be. It had alarm bells ringing in your ears. 

What would your parents say when they heard you had ruined your sister’s engagement dinner? 

It was like the walls were closing in, as the conversation at the table blended with the noise from the restaurant around you. It was suffocating. 

You didn’t think before you pushed yourself to your feet, nearly knocking over the chair behind you. 

“I’m gonna take a bathroom break,” You said, turning on your heel without waiting for a response, not that you would have registered it through the pounding in your ears. 

You needed to get away. 

To leave. 

To put space between you and this version of Alex that somehow gave a fuck about you. 

You bypassed the hallway that led to the restroom, knowing that someone would eventually find you there. You turned right, brushing past the hostess and out the glass doors into the city. 

The chilly air hit you like a gasping breath after being underwater for too long. Like water after a practice in Houston in July. 

You paused just outside the crystal doors, filling your lungs like you had been drowning. 

You knew you couldn’t stand there forever, blocking the entrance to Osteria Carlina, so you headed left, in the direction of your favorite hole-in-the-wall pizza place between Canal and Broadway. 

You didn't plan to eat there, but you thought that maybe the walk would help you clear your head, and you could be back in time to eat your overpriced salmon. Something about the smell of fresh sauce and baked cheese always made your thoughts clearer. 

It reminded you of when you were tiny and Alex would take you for pizza after your u6 games. It reminded you of riding on her shoulders on top of the world, even if none of the goals actually mattered. 

Even if you lost. 

You just needed a minute to not think, so you could go back and pretend like everything was fine. Like you didn’t feel entirely out of place with your sisters and Kelley. And you knew that the sounds of the city and the familiar comfort would do that. 

You could already feel your airway opening, but you reached up and undid the top two buttons of your shirt anyway as though it would help. It was all in your head anyway. 

It was always all in your head. 

You ran a hand through your hair, your nose scrunching involuntarily at the sticky gel you had used to keep your curls in place. You had forgotten your normal wax in Chicago, and the CVS near your hotel wanted 15$ for it. 

You wanted to look nice for Alex and Kelley, but 15$ wax was not in your budget. Still, you couldn’t not do anything with your hair. Wild curls would draw attention to you, and you couldn’t do that. 

You couldn’t make this night about you and ruin it for them. 

God, you probably already had. 

“If you’re going to ditch us can you please slow down? It’s the least you could do,”

Your heart stopped at Alex’s voice, and your feet paused before you consciously decided to listen. You had to swallow down a groan. 

Of course, she had come after you. 

It was such an Alex thing to do. 

You ran another hand through your hair and turned to face her. “What are you doing?”

Her eyebrows pulled together as she finally caught up with you. “I’m making sure you’re okay,”

She said it like it was obvious. Like it was normal. Like she wasn’t sure why you would ask. 

“I’m fine,” You mumbled, your hand dragging through your curls to the back of your neck. “Go back to dinner and I’ll rejoin you in a bit,”

Her eyebrow arched. “I think running out of the restaurant constitutes just about anything other than fine,”

You couldn’t help how your nose scrunched.

This was the part of your relationship that you had forgotten about. The one that had been masked by annoying persistence since she moved out for college. 

The one where she actually cared enough to force you to admit when something was wrong. 

She was pushing you, but it didn’t feel like it was for her benefit. It was for you. 

Your hand fell. “I just needed some air,” Your voice came out horse, strained. 

Alex hummed, stepping closer to you. “You got overwhelmed.”

It was a statement, not a question, and it struck you how well she knew you, even though the two of you hadn’t had a real conversation in nearly a decade. 

You stared at her, trying to understand her game. Trying to figure out why she was pretending to care. Trying to dissect how this would benefit her and her perfect image. 

“What do you want from me?” You were thrown off by how small you sounded. How young and… terrified the words that left your lips were. 

Alex caught your arm pulling you into her, closing the little space left between you. “I want you to talk to me,” 

“No,” You instantly pulled away from her, tangling your fingers in your messy curls yet again. “I will not be a distraction,”

“What?” Her eyebrows pulled more tightly together. 

Your fingers caught in a curl at the back of your head, the one that always seemed to tangle no matter what you did. You harshly tugged at it, the little pinpricks of pain helping you stay grounded. 

Except this time it didn't help. 

It didn’t give you enough to focus on to crack some smart-ass remark or shove your feelings into a tiny box. 

It was too much. 

“It’s all I’ve ever been,” The words spilled from your lips before you could stop them, like blood gushing from an open wound that you had tried and failed to stitch together too many times before. 

Alex softened, and she took a step towards you, gently catching your arm and pulling it towards her, effectively stopping your from ripping your hair out. 

“Monkey,” She said softly. 

You jerked away, like a wounded animal. You would not let her pretend that she didn’t think that. That she didn’t hate how you followed after her when you were young, that she didn’t despise how you distracted from her.  

“No! I heard you. I’m just the spare Morgan chasing after you, taking people’s attention off of you, and joining in uninvited on your opportunities. This will not be like that. I won’t fuck this up for you. You need to go back, and I’ll be there in a few minutes,” 

The words forced themselves out of your lips like they had been waiting to leave for forever. They broke you apart as you choked trying to hold in your emotions. As you fought to close the lid back on Pandora’s box. 

Alex caught you again, pulling you into her, and you quaked against her chest, sucking in strangled breaths. Her arms wrapped around you, squeezing you tightly, just like she did when you were little after a busy trip to the mall when the crowds had made your tummy flutter. 

You didn’t fight her, instead burying your face in her neck, curling into her like you hadn’t since she left for college. 

She held you like the two of you had all the time in the world. Like you weren't on a random sidewalk with random people walking around you. 

She didn’t pull back until your trembling had slowed and your breathing had evened out, and she very gently ran her thumb under your eyes. 

You hadn’t even realized you were crying. 

“What the hell are you talking about?” She asked when your eyes met her identical blue. 

“You said it,” You mumbled, sniffing lightly. 

Alex’s eyes scrunched and a crinkle appeared between them. “When?” 

 “I was trying to surprise you at Berkley. Mom thought I had practice, and I took the bus. I heard you,” You said, your eyes closing as that day played back through your head. 

It had taken some serious convincing from Jen that Alex missed you, and that she was desperate to see you since you had gone radio silent on her. You had been so excited as you waited near the Berkeley bleachers for their practice to finish. 

She had been walking with one of her teammates, and they were talking about someone Coach McGuire was going to invite to practice. 

“It just makes no sense, why would he extend that kind of an offer to a kid?”  The girl you didn’t recognize said, nudging your sister as they stepped off the field. “Like fuck, it has to suck to always have your younger sister getting opportunities off of your hard work,” 

Alex hummed, shifting her bag over her shoulder, and you moved to be more hidden under the bleachers. 

The little sound was like a knife in your chest, deflating the balloon of excitement that had been there since you snuck out this morning. 

Alex didn’t want to see you. She thought you were getting things off of her hard work.

“Don’t they understand that you want something that’s yours?” The girl continued, and you bit down hard on your lip to stop the tears from leaking down your cheeks. “You should have to deal with her being a distraction from your greatness,” 

You would never cry for Alex again. 

You shook your head and refocused on Alex in front of you, shoving away the cracking feeling in your stomach. 

“Go back to your dinner. I’ll be there in a bit,” You said, forcing your voice steady. Emotionless. In control. “I promise Alex. I just needed some air,” 

“No,” Alex said sternly, her arm tightening around you so you couldn’t pull away.  “Don’t do that. Don’t shut down on me. I'm not going anywhere,”

You blinked at her, fighting to swallow the warmth that spread through you. It couldn’t be real. She couldn’t be honest about this. 

You had already resolved that she didn’t actually care about you. That she loathed the responsibility of you from when you were younger. You couldn’t wrap your head around anything else. 

And before you could stop it the strangled “Why?” Fell from your lips. 

She chuckled, running her thumb under your eyes again and wiping away the tears that would not stop. “Because I fucking love you, and I can’t read your fucking mind, no matter how many times I told you I could when you were little,” 

You knew the comment was meant to draw a chuckle or a smile, but it didn’t. 

Alex ducked her head when you tried to look away, not letting you break eye contact. Not letting you bury your emotions and draw back into yourself. Making sure you heard her. “I want to fix our relationship. I’ve wanted to fix it since you stopped talking to me when I moved out. I don’t understand what happened, even though I probably should, and I can’t if you don’t tell me,” 

You sniffled, unable to stop yourself from leaning into her touch as her thumb ran circles under your eyes, clearing away the tears as they continued to fall. It warmed your cheeks, and traveled down to your tummy. It made you feel… safe. Something you hadn’t really felt that way (aside from when you were with Taylor) since you were 12. 

The two of you stood like that for a long minute, stuck in your own bubble, uncaring of the crowds rushing around you. 

It took you another moment to realize Alex’s eyebrow was raised, and that she was looking at you like she always had when she expected a response. 

You swallowed hard. “Ok,” 

The word was simple but held a weight not lost on either of you. What you were agreeing to wasn’t lost, and neither was the vulnerability it took to let it out. 

Alex’s head tilted, a smile tugging at her lips. “Ok.” 

You nodded, finally pulling yourself out of her grasp and wiping your face with your arm. “I’ll try. Old habits die hard,”

“I know,” Alex hummed, and you knew she was saying more.

She was saying that she knew how hard it was for you to voice your feelings sometimes. How difficult it was for you to be open. 

She was saying that she knew you. 

And it had a warm feeling filtering deep in your tummy. 

You looked away, clearing your throat. “We should go back. It’s your night and you should get to enjoy it,”

Alex sighed.“ This doesn’t change my ability to enjoy my night. If you need more time, we have plenty,”

Your shoulders rolled, and your back straightened.  Your fingers tangled in the baby hairs at the back of your neck. 

It was something Alex had seen a million times. The way you pieced yourself back together, even when you didn’t necessarily have to. Even when you weren’t ready to. 

It was unsettling, how little this part of you had changed. 

“The only bad thing about the city lights is that you can’t see the stars,” She said, watching how the abrupt change in subject took an immediate effect. 

You blinked at her, your eyes instinctively glancing upward towards the sky, and your shoulders relaxing. 

Bingo she thought. 

You might not have had a conversation with her in years, but she still knew you. And your obsession with astronomy… well more like your obsession with Greek mythology and stars… hadn’t changed. 

You hadn’t changed all that much. Well, most of you, no matter how much you wanted to pretend otherwise. 

“Canis Minor is there,” You mumbled, pointing up at the sky barely visible surrounded by the neon lights of the city. “And Vela and Volans are there. It’s hard, but you can make them out,”

She hummed, not at all surprised that you could pick out the constellations even when you could only see a small part of them. But that wasn’t the point.

The point was how you relaxed. 

You looked back towards her, your hand dropping as you let out a shaky breath.  

“Let’s go back,” You said. “I don’t want your food to get cold,” 

Alex nodded. “As long as you’re ready,” 

You made a low sound in the back of your throat and turned back towards the restaurant. “Let’s go,” 

She signed, reminding herself that everything wouldn’t be fixed in a day. You wouldn’t be fixed in a day. It would take baby steps, and you had given her more today than you had in years. 

“Ok,” She agreed, letting you lead her back towards the restaurant, and your family. 

*****

“You sure you don’t want a ride kid?” Kelley asked, wrapping an arm around your shoulder. 

You nodded, forcing a smile across your lips. “Oh yeah, I’m good,” 

The end of dinner had actually been nice. 

No one had said a thing when you and Alex returned to the table, just before your food arrived. The conversation had been light, focused on the proposal, and no one had tried to force you to join in. 

They hadn’t even batted an eyelash when you pulled out your phone to text your girlfriend about where you would be sleeping, and made eye contact with the two men who had taken up a table in the back corner of the restaurant.

Desert had been… almost pain-free, which set you on edge. 

Nothing in your family came without a cost, and you wondered what it would be. Especially since Alex had come after you. 

But everyone said their goodbyes and headed to their cars with very little fanfare. 

All except for Kelley who was worried when you lingered near the entrance of the restaurant. 

“You don’t have to stand here with me,” you said, glancing down the street, looking for the familiar black Escalade you assumed Taylor would be sending to retrieve you. You figured Tony was driving, since he had disappeared, leaving Zach to linger a few feet away from you. “I'm just waiting for my Uber,”

Kelley made a low noise. “And while I’m sure your new mob friends could take care of you, Alex would kill me if I left you here without knowing your plan,” 

You blew out a breath, a strange warmth in your stomach at the thought that Alex would care. “My ride should be just around the corner. You can go, and I’ll be fine,” 

It didn’t even bug you that Emily had apparently convinced her you were in the mob too. 

“Burrito girl?” She asked, her features softening. 

You nodded, glancing sideways toward where Alex was standing. “Satisfied now?”

You weren’t ready for your older sister to know yet. You weren’t ready to hear about how you weren’t mature enough. Or how your reputation would impact your relationship. 

You didn’t want to be lectured about how much older Taylor was. 

Kelley wiggled her eyebrows as a black Escalade pulled around the corner. “Very,”

“You’re far too smug about this,” You huffed, again glancing towards your sister, who still seemed oblivious to your conversation. 

Kelley followed your eyes, and her smirk softened. “You know she wouldn’t be upset that you’re seeing someone right? She just wants you to be happy,” 

“I know,” You mumbled, feeling the kid you had forced over your emotions rattle in your chest. You had already been too vulnerable tonight. “I just… I’m still figuring it all out, and I don’t want the pressure yet,” 

Kelley made a low noise of agreement in the back of her throat. Like she wanted to argue with you, but knew you weren’t in a place to listen.

You wondered how much she knew about your earlier moment with Alex. How she knew so well not to push. 

The black Escalade came to a smooth stop in front of you, and Zach stepped up from behind you to stand near the rear passenger door. 

You appreciated that he didn’t say anything. 

“Tell your burrito mob boss hello,” Kelley said, patting your back. “And I’ll take care of your sister,” 

You rolled your eyes goodnaturedly at her before Zach opened the door for you and you slid into the backseat of the car. 

Zach closed the door behind you and was in the passenger seat before you could think too hard about what Kelley had said. 

“To Taylor’s apartment?” Tony asked you, glancing at you in the rearview mirror. “Or did you want to make a pitstop first?”

You blinked at him, not expecting to have a choice in where he was taking you. You figured Taylor had given him instructions already. That he would do whatever she told him to because she was the one paying his (probably incomprehensibly expensive) salary. 

You cleared your throat, meeting his eyes in the mirror. “Taylor’s apartment is fine, thanks,”

“No problem kid,” He winked, his eyes returning to the street ahead of him. 

Zach reached forward and flicked the radio, letting quiet pop fill the car, and you relaxed back into the leather seats. 

It was weird. This was weird. You felt so… off balance after your moment with Alex. It made you feel so vulnerable. 

You needed to get rid of the raw feeling in your chest. You needed control. 

You swallowed hard and looked out the window as the lights of the city passed. 

*****

One thing you absolutely loved about Taylor’s apartment was that it was always stocked with sweets. And since you had started dating, your favorites seemed to appear alongside the treats that she enjoyed. 

“How was dinner?” She asked you, passing you the container of chocolate frosting as you sat on her kitchen counter. 

She was dressed in short shorts and an old Philadelphia Eagles shirt, her feet bare. She was relaxed and comfortable. Which felt like a stark contrast to needles prickling in your stomach. The pins tingling the back of your neck. 

She had been waiting for you near the elevator when the SUV pulled into her private garage, and she welcomed you with a hug that was so… warm that it almost made you forget how raw you felt. 

She held you as you ascended to her apartment, and all the way into her kitchen, asking if you were up for a bit of dessert. 

You were surprised she hadn’t immediately tried to get you to talk about dinner with your sisters and Kelley. That she didn’t pry into it the second she had the chance like Mal would have. 

Now you found that you didn’t mind the question. 

“Fine,” You shrugged, sticking a spoon in the frosting and twisting it around, lifting it to examine the scoop you had made. “They mostly gushed over the ring Kelley picked, and how romantic it was to propose on the Empire State Building,”

You licked your spoon, pulling it into your mouth, and your eyes closed at the taste. 

It was silky and smooth, much better than the cheap frosting you always brought. 

“You don’t think it’s gush-worthy?” Taylor asked when your eyes fluttered back open. 

You paused, thinking about it for a long second as you got another scoop of frosting. 

You actually thought Kelley’s proposal was sweet. It combined some of your sister’s favorite things and one of her favorite places. It made sense. 

But it was so cliché.

 “For Alex it is,” You shrugged, sticking the spoon in your mouth, swirling your tongue around the ridges to get all of the delicious chocolate. 

Taylor hummed, stepping up between your legs, her hands running gently over the dark denim of our jeans. “But it’s not what you would want?”

You shook your head, scooping a bit more frosting on your spoon. 

“I think I’d want something more creative,” You said, your lips quirked up, as you held the spoon out for her. “You know, like under the Eiffel Tower,”

“So original,” She rolled her eyes, letting you slip the spoon past her lips.

Sharing food with her was a habit you had picked up. Something that settled the nagging feeling in the back of your mind that she was too skinny. That there was something… wrong with her relationship to food. 

Her fingers tightened around your thighs and you tilted the spoon up and her chin tilted to follow, exposing the long lines of her neck. You traced them with your eyes, swallowing hard. 

It had want bubbling in your stomach alongside the needles. It had you leaning into where you knew this evening was heading. Into the coping mechanism that hadn’t failed you yet, even though you so desperately wanted things with Taylor to be different. 

But maybe tonight they didn’t have to be. 

You hummed, pulling the spoon away. 

She let her tongue trail along it, her eyes fluttering open to make eye contact with you. “That’s good,”

“You bought it, so I would hope you like it,”

You dipped the spoon back into the container, pulling up a glob of frosting and bringing it to your lips. 

She watched you intently, waiting for the spoon to leave your mouth with a little pop before very slowly leaning in. It gave you enough time to pull away if you wanted to, but you didn’t want to. 

You needed this. To feel in control. 

You leaned forward, connecting your lips in a languid kiss. Her tongue gently pressed against your lips, and you opened your mouth to grant her access. 

It carefully explored around your mouth, dancing with your tongue in a slow waltz, licking the residual frosting from every surface it touched. 

She let out a low noise in the back of her throat as she pulled away. “That one tasted better,” 

You wiggled your eyebrows, dropping the spoon back into the container. “Did it now?” 

“It did,” She nodded, her thumbs running up and down your thighs. 

You leaned forward, connecting your lips again and slowly sliding off the counter. Your hands landed heavily on her hips and her arms draped across your shoulders, pulling you closer, her fingers playing with the baby hairs at the back of your neck. 

It was easy for you to snatch control of the kiss, Taylor gave it to you willingly. 

It should have smoothed over the frayed edges of your nerves. It should have quieted your thoughts and made you more present. 

Instead, you slipped farther into your head. 

You replayed the feelings of Alex’s hand in your hair, the weight of her arm around you. How you had made a promise you weren’t sure you really wanted to keep. 

Your lips never left her as she took a step back towards the hallway that led to her room, and you slipped your fingers under the hem of her shirt, skating along the waistband of her shorts.

You loved the smooth skin there, and the goosebumps that trailed after your light touch. They distracted you so much that you didn’t notice her turning down the hallway until you were stumbling over your feet to keep up. 

Her lips tilted into a smirk as she used her newfound leverage to switch your position. 

Your back hit the wall with a low thump. Her lips reattached to yours, one hand tangling in the hair at the base of your skull, and the other cupped your chin as she pressed you into the wall, her thigh landing heavily between your legs. 

It was more demanding, more needy, more in control. 

It jarred you out of your head. Out of the rabbit hole of how being honest with Alex would help you link the back line to the front line better. Of how it would allow more line breaking balls through towards the edge where your sister always danced to stay onside. 

“You didn’t think I was a pillow princess did you?” She asked, winking at your surprised eyes. 

You let out a sigh at the pressure against your core, doing everything in your power to prevent your hips from pulling back when she rocked against you. 

This you weren’t used to. This you had never done with anyone besides Mal. 

You sucked in a breath through your nose, deciding to focus on the things that you enjoyed. You leaned into the kiss. 

You liked the way her tongue explored your mouth. You liked how her fingers twitched against your jaw before they made their way to your collar. 

Your head tilted to give her more room as she began trailing warm, wet kisses down your neck.

A shiver ran down your spine when she hit the spot just below your right ear, and you let out another low sigh. She echoed the sound, her fingers deft as they undid the first button of your shirt. 

She let the blunt nail of her pointer finger graze your collarbone, trailing after her as she moved to the next button, leaving flames in its wake. 

Goosebumps erupted on the newly exposed skin, and you felt her smirk against your neck. 

Her long fingers splayed across your abs, tapping out a rhythm you couldn’t define. 

“Do you know how amazing these are?” She asked, her warm breath hitting the damp skin of your neck and sending a shiver down your spine as her fingers tapped you a bit harder. “I think about them all the time. It’s not fair that I’ve only gotten glimpses of them, especially with how much you show them off,”

“You were a bit distracted,” You smirked, projecting confidence that you didn’t feel, your fingers closing around her hips, trying to maintain a sliver of control. 

She flexed her thigh again to prevent you from flipping your positions though. 

“Hmm,” She hummed, a devilish smile cracking across her lips as she dropped to her knees. Your breath caught in your throat, and you splayed your hands on the wall behind you, trying to hide how much they were shaking. 

You didn’t know how to handle this. How to do this. 

“Well I’m not distracted now, and I’m going to give them the attention they deserve,” She said, her hands moving the edges of your shirt out of the way. 

You raised an eyebrow at her. “Are you now?” 

Your voice barely wobbled as you spoke, and you took it as a win. 

“I am,” she nodded, determination glinting in her eyes. She leaned forward, placing an open mouth kiss on the abb right above your left hip. Her tongue followed the ridge of the muscle to the other side. 

you bit your bottom lip and allowed your head to fall back against the wall with a low thump. 

You liked this touch. More than any touch you had ever had before. You had never let anyone get this far before, not even Mal really. 

Things had been quick with her, like touching you was an unpleasant chore. One neither of you had ever been fond of. 

This. This was different. 

Taylor took her time, lavishing each individual muscle as her warm mouth traveled around your stomach. A chill trailed after her lips, the air landing on your wet skin sending goosebumps across your flesh, stoking a foreign fire in your belly that was almost enough to quiet the growing dread. 

Almost. 

She made her way up your stomach, placing a line of kisses up your chest and collarbone before she again landed on the special spot on your neck. 

“Let’s get you out of these pants,” 

You sucked in a harsh breath through your nose, forcing yourself to remain relaxed. You tried to enjoy the feeling of her hands tracing the residue left on your stomach. Tried to focus on the softness of her lips on your neck and the scent of her perfume. 

Tried to let it drive away ghosts of calloused fingers and gruff voices. 

It almost worked. 

Then her thumb flicked open the button of your jeans, and you couldn’t temper your reaction. You couldn’t quell the growing anxiety in your chest. You froze, every muscle in your body going rigid for a split second before you could force them to relax again. 

You hoped that Taylor wouldn’t notice, but she did. 

“Y/n?” She said softly as she pulled back, her hands retreating from their position at your waist to cup your cheek, and her leg falling from between yours. 

Your eyes slowly fluttered open and met very worried blue. You could see the questions forming. The concern dripped from her form. 

But you knew you couldn’t answer.  You weren’t ready to unlock Pandora's box yet. Not when you knew you would never be able to shut it again. You only knew one way to stop her from asking. One way to regain control. 

You surged forward, your hands on her hips giving you the leverage to push her back against the wall opposite of you. Your mouth landed hot against her neck, lavishing the soft skin with open-mouthed kisses, and your thigh slotted between her legs pressing into her core with the perfect amount of pressure to distract her. 

“I’m ok,” You muttered hotly into her ear, pressing more firmly into her center. “Let me make you feel good,” 

She sucked in a breath, her hips stuttering like they wanted to grind against you, but she wouldn’t let them. 

You dragged your tongue down her neck, letting your teeth just barely graze her sensitive skin, and rocked your hips. Your thumbs scared along the sliver of skin just above her shorts trying to convince her to just go with it. 

To let her let you distract her. 

You thought for a second that it had worked, as a low groan left her lips. You thought that maybe you had… derailed her enough to forget about your momentary lapse in the hold you had on your emotions.  But just as you went to slip your hand into her pants she stopped you. 

Her palm pressed firmly into your chest, insistent until you pulled away enough to make eye contact with her. 

“I want us to both feel good,” she said sternly. 

You swallowed at the comment, fighting to keep your face neutral. 

“Making you feel good will make me feel good,”  You said, trying to lean back in, but the hand on your chest stopped you. 

“Y/n you tensed,” She said, her blue eyes burning into yours, looking for answers, the charge between you melting away. 

You sighed as you pulled away from her until your back hit the wall opposite of her. You ran a hand through your messy curls and glared up at her ceiling, unable to look at her. 

You were afraid that if you did, she would be able to read your mind. She would see the… brokenness you fought so hard to hide.  But you had never been able to hide from Taylor. 

Even before you were dating, you had let her closer to you than anyone had ever gotten before. She was scarily perceptive and had been able to read you from the beginning of your friendship even better than Mal could (and that was saying something). Her abilities only seemed to get more acute as you got closer. 

This was the only area she hadn’t seemed to pick up on. 

You let yourself slide down the wall, your eyes closing as you sucked in another breath.  You still felt so raw from your talk with Alex. Too… vulnerable. Like opening up again would finally crack your chest in half. 

“I’m,” You started and stopped, unsure of what you were actually going to say. “I’m not good at receiving,”

You settled on the phrase, drawing up the courage to finally open your eyes, pulling your knees close to your chest and resting your chin on them. 

You were surprised that Taylor had slid down her own wall so she was sitting across from you and mirroring your posture. 

She made a low sound in the back of her throat, and her eyebrows furrowed. “You’re not good at it?” 

There was no judgment in her voice. None of the disgust you expected. 

“I can’t ever get out of my head enough to… enjoy it I guess,” You cleared your throat and looked away from her, ignoring the heat in your cheeks. “No one’s ever noticed before”

It was a semi-truth. In your slew of hookups, no one had ever cared. No one had pushed back when you stopped them. No one had ever not let you distract them. 

But then again, Taylor was nothing like your hookups. 

You actually had feelings for her that stretched beyond self-loathing and the need to be in control of something. To be good enough. There was nothing quite like the rush that came from making a beautiful woman fall apart under you. It was irrefutable evidence that you were capable. 

Taylor’s eyes tightened. It physically hurt her that none of your past partners (if she could call them that) had cared enough beyond their own needs to see the obvious. And that you were willing to bypass your own comfort so someone else could feel good. 

She wanted to kick herself for not noticing that something was wrong sooner. 

“You’ve never talked through limits or likes and dislikes with any of the people you’ve slept with?”

You ran another hand through your hair (making it impossibly more messy) and let out a very long breath. 

You shrugged. “We were never doing anything beyond vanilla and it never progressed past a few one-sided orgasms,”

You had never let any of them touch you. Hell, you hadn’t even gotten undressed for most of them. The thought of doing anything… kinky sent a shiver down your spine so you hadn’t. It was just easier to keep distance from the people you slept with. It was safer that way. 

Taylor shifted, very slowly scooting towards you, reaching out to place a gentle hand on your foot like she thought you would freak out if she moved too fast. 

“Well, I think there’s a need now,” Taylor said, watching your every movement. 

Your eyes were scarily hollow, accented by the red that rimmed them from the time you had made it to her apartment. She had wanted to ask about it. Pushed just a little to find out if you had been crying, and why. But you didn’t seem to want to talk about it. 

You had pivoted to sex almost as soon as she tried to bring it up. It sent red flags up in her mind. Red flags that only got brighter. 

She couldn’t help but replay every interaction the two of you had had in her mind. There would be time to agonize over every little detail later, but even now, your… reluctance to undress, or allow her to touch you was glaringly obvious. How the moment she flipped your typical script, you couldn’t hide it anymore. 

She was slightly ashamed she hadn’t noticed it before. That she had ignored the signs of your discomfort, even if they were well masked. 

Have you ever wanted to have sex? Had she put you in a position where you didn’t feel like you could refuse? 

She never wanted you to feel forced, whether that was about talking about how you were feeling or having sex. She wanted you to feel comfortable enough to tell her when you weren’t ok with something. 

Your nose dipped behind your thighs, your forehead pressed into your knees, and you squeezed your arms more tightly around them like you were literally trying to hold yourself together. 

Her heart broke a little more at the barely audible “ok” that left your lips. 

She scooted closer to you, her hand carefully drawing up your shin and weaving in your curls. Her nails scratched gently on your scalp, and you practically melted. 

Your shoulders relaxed and you let out a long breath before you shifted to look up at her, your chin balanced on your knees. 

She brushed a curl from in front of your eyes. “When did you start to feel uncomfortable?”

You scrunched your nose. It was a hard question. 

 You weren’t sure how you were supposed to explain that your mind went to soccer as soon as anything remotely intimate started. How were you supposed to explain that you were just defective? 

But maybe you didn’t have to. 

She didn’t ask you that. All she asked was when you started to feel uncomfortable, and that answer was easy.

It was the moment your back hit the wall. The moment you were jarred out of the safe space in your head.

The moment she forced you to be present, unlike every other girl you had ever been with.  

But you weren’t entirely uncomfortable. Maybe at the start, but you had enjoyed parts of being with her. You wanted to enjoy being with her.  But you were just… incapable. Defectives 

You settled for a shrug, curling tighter into yourself. You didn’t want her to see how… fucked up you were. It would only push her away.

That’s what pushed Mal away.  And Alex. And your parents. 

You would never be good enough, and you had just wanted to pretend as long as you could. You weren’t ready to lose Taylor yet. 

“Ok. It’s ok,” Taylor’s voice was gentle, and her hand trailed to tangle in the baby curls at the back of your neck. “Let’s try something else. Can you tell me what you liked?”

Your eyebrows furrowed. “This time?” 

“Any of the times,” She said soothingly, her fingers never stopping their gentle scratches at the back of your neck. 

You closed your eyes, leaning back into her hand. “I like it when you do this,” 

She hummed, and you could hear a smile in it. “Anything else?”

“I like kissing you,” You mumbled, feeling the red flair in your cheeks. 

Her lips always tasted like coffee, and something so… Taylor. They were addictive in the best way. 

“And I like holding you,” You added. There was something comforting about having her in your arms. Something that made you feel safe. “And I like it when you hold me,” 

“But the rest?”  She asked you gently. 

Your shoulders lifted and fell. You did what was expected of you. What you knew worked. 

You went with the flow just like Emily told you too, and then had been too caught in your head to savor the moment. To take in all of the little details that you wanted to remember. No matter how hard you fought, you just… couldn’t. 

You quite liked touching her too, but you knew there was something wrong with your inability to remain in the moment when you did. You knew that she deserved for you to be present. 

“I’m just not good at receiving,” You repeated, misery leaking into your tone. 

It was the only response you could come up with. The only explanation that remotely made sense. This was when she would realize you were… defective. This was when she would leave. But she didn’t. 

She gently squeezed the back of your neck. A silent request for you to look at her and a comforting touch that told you that it was ok. It took you a second to gain the courage to look up, but when you did, you didn’t see the disgust you expected. 

Her eyes were soft, sad, and they held another emotion you couldn’t quite put your finger on. “I like holding and kissing you too,”

She shifted a little closer to you, so her knee was touching yours. “And I’ll hold and kiss you for as long as you’ll let me, at whatever pace makes you feel comfortable,” 

You made a low noise. 

It was strange. Conceptually, you could understand what she was saying, but you had never been with someone who didn’t judge you based on your ability to give them an orgasm. You wondered how long her patience would last. How long would she stay when she realized how deeply you were fucked up. 

“How about we go cuddle on the couch and watch a movie?” She asked, squeezing the back of your neck gently. 

Your nose scrunched as she pulled away, pushing herself to her feet and holding her hand out to you. “You know I don’t like movies,” 

You didn’t have the attention span for them, and you would inevitably get bored halfway through. 

She hummed, wiggling her fingers so you would take her hand. “How about survivor then?” 

Your tension melted at the mention of your favorite show, and your easy smile returned to your features.

“Yes! We have to watch Heroes vs Villains so you can see Russel at his finest,” You said, allowing her to pull you into her side.

“Whatever you want sunshine,” She kissed your forehead and guided you back towards her living room. 

It felt like going to her bedroom was too much, too fast. She didn’t want you to think she had some… expectations despite the clear signs that you were not ready to progress past cuddling. Not while you would so easily compromise your limits. 

Not while your limits still felt so unclear. 

She knew that it would take time to work through that, and she was willing to wait and help you for as long as it took. 

*****

Soft morning light filtered into your consciousness, waking you gently. You breathed in deeply, shifting on a bed that you knew wasn’t yours. 

It smelled like lilacs and Taylor’s perfume, sweet and inviting and safe. You could hear soft music from somewhere else in the apartment and felt cool sheets next to you. 

You frowned, pushing yourself to a sitting position with a yawn. It was rare you woke up after Taylor. That you slept in in general. 

But it shouldn’t have surprised you with what had happened last night. Sure, the two of you had fallen asleep together just after Pavarti and Russel had schemed to take down the Hero’s tribe during the merge. Taylor held you just like she promised, but you should have known it wouldn’t last. 

A good nights sleep had opened her eyes. She had reflected and decided you were too… broken to be worth it. 

“Fuck,” You mumbled, rubbing the sleep out of your eyes with the palms of your hands. 

You should have stopped her before she got to your pants. You should have been more subtle and slipped your position instead of tensing. 

You should have been prepared to lose hold on the iron box that held your emotions. You should have had more control. 

But you didn’t, and now you were most likely going to lose your girlfriend. 

She would break up with you in the sweetest way possible. She would say that it was her. That she was the problem, and you would accept that. 

You would nod along, and make it easy for her.  Just like you had with Mal when she told you that Dansby was her soulmate. That he was so good and perfect. 

You dragged your hands up your face, and into your hair, ruffling your messy curls as you pushed yourself out of bed.  There was no point in drawing this out longer than it needed to be.  

You stretched, pulling your shirt down over your boxers as you padded out of Taylor’s room towards the sound of the music. You could also make out soft voices as you got closer. Your eyebrows furrowed. Who was Taylor talking to? 

You peeked your head around the corner, your frown deepening when you saw a redhead sitting at the island across from Taylor, a large stack of papers sitting to the right of her, drinking a cup of coffee and humming to a song you had never heard before. 

Why was she here? 

Taylor turned from the stove, catching sight of you before you could hide back behind the wall. “Hey babe, good morning,” She said brightly, smiling widely at you. 

“Morning,” You said slowly, stepping out from behind the hallway wall. 

She gestured to the woman across from her. “This is Tree,”

“Hello,” You waved awkwardly at the redhead. 

“She just swang by to hear a bit of the new album,” Taylor explained easily, turning back towards the cabinets. “Do you want some coffee?”

Tree smiled brilliantly at you, showing off perfectly white teeth in a way that surprisingly didn’t feel forced. 

But you could sense the lie in Taylor’s explanation of why her publicist was there. Of why the woman who handled all of Taylor’s outward appearances appeared with a massive contract right after you had shown her how defective you were? 

“It’s a pleasure to meet you,” She said, pushing out the stool next to her, a clear invitation to sit. 

You shifted awkwardly from foot to foot and dragged a hand through your hair. 

Neither of them seemed… angry. Or like they were plotting the fastest way to get you out of the apartment. But you didn’t trust it. All of your instincts told you not to. 

“Nice to meet you too,” You said slowly, stepping towards the stool and gesturing to the stack of papers. “Listen, I’ll sign whatever you want me to sign. Can I just take a shower before you kick me out?”

“What?” Taylor and Tree said in unison, Taylor nearly dropping the mug she was holding and Tree’s eyes tightening. 

“I just hate to put on clean clothes without showering,” You scratched more insistently at the back of your neck, your fingers tangling in the tight curls at the base of your skull. “And Alex and Kelley would think it’s weird if I show up to their house in what I wore last night, and I won’t be able to accurately answer their questions,”

Taylor’s eyebrows pulled tightly together and she set the mug down, stepping closer to the island. “Y/n, slow down,” 

You ignored her. You knew you were rambling at this point but you couldn’t stop yourself. “I promise I’ll be in and out in like 5 minutes. I won’t even do my hair,” 

“Y/n stop,” Taylor moved around the island, catching your hand as it began to tug at the roots of your curls.

“What are you talking about?” She asked you softly, ducking to catch your eye. 

“You’re going to break up with me because of what happened,” You rushed out, catching her frown and immediately backtracking. “Which is totally fine. I understand that you want someone… with less baggage. I just want to take a shower before you make me leave,”

“I’m not breaking up with you,” 

You blinked at her.  What was that supposed to mean? 

Was she going to make you do it so she could be the good guy? Was her publicist there to witness it so they could write a story about it? 

“Do you want me to break up with you then?” You asked, softly. You hated the fragility in your voice. 

Taylor’s head cocked to the side and she raised an eyebrow at you. “No,” 

It was your turn to frown. “I don’t understand what’s happening,”

“I’m not breaking up with you. You’re not breaking up with me,” She said like it was simple, tugging you towards the stools. “You’re going to sit down and drink your coffee while I make breakfast. You can talk to Tree if you like, or just listen to some of the tracks from my new album. But no one is getting kicked out or leaving,”

“Oh,” You breathed out, your shoulders dropping. “I don’t like eggs,”

“I know,” Taylor rolled her eyes, an amused smirk on her lips as she turned back towards the counter. “I’m making pancakes,”

“With chocolate chips?” You asked, watching her warily as you took the seat next to Tree slowly. 

You felt like you were in a stupid rom-com that Alex would like. Like you were the idiot boyfriend who was lost. 

“Of course,” Taylor hummed, sliding you a mug. “Drink your coffee,” 

“So I heard you’re going to be playing for Washington this season,” Tree said, and you really looked at her for the first time. 

Her eyes were kind, and she actually seemed… interested. 

“If they ever get me a place to live,” You shrugged, clearing your throat. “Their manager keeps giving me the runaround and preseason starts in like 2 weeks,”

Her eyebrows pulled tightly together and she tapped her perfectly manicured nail on the edge of her mug, just beside the tea bag string. “They haven’t figured that out yet?”

“No. The only option they sent me doesn’t allow pets, which is a serious problem for my 3 huskies,” You sighed, pinching the bridge of your nose. 

To be honest, your move to DC was nearly as painful as the one from North Carolina to Chicago. You just hoped that this time there wouldn’t be a dismembered toe in whatever apartment they put you up in. And hopefully, you had working AC…

The redhead's frown deepened. “Don’t you have a manager that takes care of that?” 

Your nose scrunched. “He’s not helpful,”

Your manager, Travis, had never been… involved. You were one of his 70 clients, and he preferred to do nothing besides collect his paycheck while teams fucked you this way and that. He rarely ever answered your calls, and when he did, he acted like a total slimeball. One more than one occasion he had insisted that he could turn you straight. 

Taylor turned away from the stove, meeting Tree’s frown. You could tell there was a question on the tip of her tongue, one you probably didn’t want to answer just as much as you didn’t want to talk about what had happened last night. 

Tree shook her head slightly, a movement just barely perceptible, making a low sound in the back of her throat and pulling out her phone. “I’ll take care of it,”

You blanched as Taylor turned back to the stove, flipping a pancake. 

You reached for Tree’s arm before she could fully stand from her stool. “No, that's ok. I can figure it out,” 

You didn’t need anyone else to get involved. You didn’t need to make a big deal out of this. You were sure it would only make it worse for you when you arrived. 

You’d heard that the Washington coach Richie was no better than Paul or Rory, and you knew the only way to deal with it was by not making waves. By gritting your teeth and keeping your head down. 

Tree smiled, squeezing your arm and grabbing her phone as she stepped towards the back balcony. “I’ll be right back,” 

You sighed when she disappeared through the glass doors, sinking into the stool, looping your hand through the mug handle, and taking a long drag of your coffee. 

It was perfect. Sweet and light exactly how you liked it, and the soft music playing in the background only made it better. You had never heard this song before. It was just a guitar track, with Taylor’s voice and you found yourself entranced by it. 

I know that it’s delicate, delicate.

You pressed your fingers into the side of your mug as you took another long sip, your eyes following Taylor as she hummed along to the song while flipping the pancakes onto a plate. 

She turned back towards you, sliding the plate across the marble island, and leaning against it. She waited for you to take a bite of your favorite breakfast, smiling when your eyes practically rolled back into your head at the taste. 

Her new music wasn’t the only reason Tree had visited. But she knew she had to explain that very… carefully. She didn't want to set you off, especially when you still seemed so frazzled from the night before. When you thought she would kick you out for tensing. 

She had her suspicions about why your reaction had been so strong, suspicions she had briefly discussed with Tree, but she knew she had to tread carefully. She had the feeling that if you felt too vulnerable, you would shut down entirely. 

But considering the pictures the news media had tried to splash across the headlines, she wasn’t surprised that you had tried to use sex as a distraction (or something else she couldn’t quite put her finger on). It seemed like it was your go-to method, and explained why you had been so content to leave a trail of bodies in the wake of your reputation. 

She also wasn’t surprised that it had ended… the way it did. You had already been emotionally vulnerable. Too vulnerable to have the kind of sex that was deeper than just movements and orgasms. 

She sighed. She would have to tell you why Tree was there, preferably before Tree herself told you. 

“Paparazzi got pictures of you and Alex last night,” She said, trying to stay casual. Trying to make it seem like no big deal. 

You paused, fork full of pancake freezing midair in its trajectory to your mouth for a brief second before you dropped it with a clatter back onto the plate. 

“Fuck me,” You groaned, dragging your palms over your face and through your hair. “Fuck me hard,”

It was another problem. Another thing for you to deal with. When honestly, you just wanted to pretend like last night had never happened. 

All you needed was for the fans to get ahold of a photo of you crying. 

She suppressed a chuckle. “It’s ok, Tree already took care of it,” 

You paused, your fingers scrunching in your hair before you dragged them back down your face and picked up your fork. 

Your eyes stayed closed for a long second before they opened slowly and you resumed eating like nothing had ever happened. 

It was like watching an actor pull on a mask, how you folded all of your emotions up neatly and pushed them inside. It was… incredible and sent alarm bells blazing in Taylor’s mind. 

“Oh. Um. Thanks,” 

You could feel her eyes appraising you. 

“It’s no problem,” She said with a little shrug, bringing her own mug to her lips. 

You went back to your pancakes, the only sound between you the scraping of your fork on her plate and the song playing again in the background. Your mind wandered through the chorus, enjoying the way the beat drop tickled the little spot in the back of your head. Your eyes swept across the kitchen landing on the giant stack of papers in front of Tree’s empty stool. 

“What are the papers?” You asked after a moment, pointing to it with your fork when the music died down and the song restarted. 

Taylor reached for it, placing it between you and spinning it so you could read it. You didn’t. The print was small and close together, and you didn’t want to give yourself a headache. 

“You said that no one has ever discussed limits and boundaries with you, so I thought it might be nice to do that,” Taylor explained carefully. 

You raised an eyebrow at her. “So you printed a packet?”

“Well, no,” She shook her head. “I know you said that you had never done anything beyond vanilla, but I have, and I think it’s important to thoroughly know my partners limits,”

You let a teasing smirk play across your lips, sinking into the teasing to cover how… off kilter you felt. 

You had never discussed limits. With anyone. And it scared you what she could discover. What if something you said turned her off? What if she didn’t want you after you filled out her packet? 

“I didn’t know you were kinky Miss Swift,” You said, wiggling your eyebrows. “Or is there some other title you prefer?” 

A bright red blush spread across her cheeks, traveling down her neck, and she looked away from you. 

Before you could follow up, to make the gorgeous red color travel further, the sound of the glass door opening echoed through the kitchen, and Tree stepped back inside. 

“Ok. I’ve got your housing settled, and I ordered a moving crew to help you,” Tree said as she sat back down beside you, seemingly oblivious to the tension between you and Taylor. 

Or maybe she was just better at ignoring Taylor’s reactions.,

You blinked owlishly at her. “I’m sorry, what?”

“All you have to do is text this number with the date you want to move and they’ll help you get all of your belongings down to DC,” She said, handing you a sticky note with a number on it. 

You had no idea where she had gotten it, but you were thankful for it. 

“Oh, uh, thanks,”

She nodded. “If you have any more issues, call me and I’ll take care of it until we can get you a good manager,”

You swallowed your surprise. You weren’t even sure how to go about finding a new manager, and you doubted you could afford one. You weren’t entirely sure how the whole thing worked actually. But Tree seemed to know exactly what to do. 

You turned back to your plate, taking another bite of your pancakes.  They were like heaven, second only to the Pancakes Kelley made. But something nagged at the back of your mind. Taylor didn’t have a plate in front of her, and there wasn’t one in the sink. You supposed she could have placed it in the dishwasher. 

“Aren’t you going to eat?” You asked, your fork pausing midair. 

She shook her head. “I’m not hungry,” 

A frown pulled at your lips.  Now that you thought about it, Taylor was not hungry a lot. She rarely ate snacks when you did, and you were pretty sure she had never finished a meal with you. 

“Then I'm not hungry,” You responded, already pushing the half-finished plate away from you, despite the way your mouth watered for more. “Unless you want to share these?”

She sighed heavily, but took your fork nonetheless, stabbing a tiny piece of pancake not drowned in syrup and bringing it to her lips. 

“Happy?” She asked you, and your smirk turned real. 

“I’m always happy when I’m with you,” 

*****

“I don’t understand what that means,” You muttered, reading number 372 of Taylor’s limit questionnaire. 

Touching while under sense deprivation

Most of the list had been easy. Things you knew you liked (like kissing), and things you knew you would never want (impact play with a cane). The rating system had also been easy to understand: things you liked and had done, things you wanted to try, things you would only try with lengthy discussion, and things you never wanted to try. 

Taylor highlighted her preference in green Sharpie and you did yours in orange as the two of you worked through her packet cuddled on her couch. She had been insistent that the two of you fill out the packet after lunch, and Tree left to give the two of you some privacy. 

“It means the use of a blindfold or headphones that cut off one of your senses,” She explained, already highlighting a would like to try in her green highlighter. “It can be fun. When one sense is taken away, others tend to heighten,”

You swallowed hard, biting your lip as the red in your cheeks got impossibly darker. 

“I,” you swallowed hard and looked away from her. “I don’t want to do anything where I can’t see you,” 

You had enough problems remaining in the moment with her. The idea that you wouldn’t be able to see her terrified you. 

It scared you to think about where your brain might take you. 

“Ok,” She agreed easily, placing a perfect orange swipe over never try, already moving on to the next one. 

It made your head spin how… comfortable with this she was. 

It was like she had done this before. She said she liked to know her partner's limits, so maybe she had. You had never asked about past relationships before. 

“This isn’t your first time going through this list, is it?” you asked, but the question was more of a statement than an actual question. 

She paused, halfway through reading hands restrained while partner touches- giving and looked at you. 

“No, it’s not,” She admitted gently. “I… I would rather be over prepared than cross a line that I didn’t know was there,”

Your head tilted, and you raised an eyebrow at her. “And you were doing kinky shit like touching your partner while their hands were restrained?”

“Sometimes,” She shrugged, her eyes narrowing. “But I feel like that wasn’t the question you actually wanted to ask me,”

It was slightly scary how well she could read you sometimes. 

You bit your lip. Your questions weren’t polite, but then again you were discussing allowing her to restrain you while you had sex. It was more… intimate than anything you had done with any of your partners, but Taylor seemed… comfortable. 

She had done this before, and you wondered… how many others had been in your position. 

“You’ve had relationships before?” You asked slowly, picking your cuticle and looking away from her. 

“Yes?” She asked back, using a finger under your chin to gently get you to meet her eyes again, as she raised her eyebrow. 

“I was wondering if you would tell me a little bit more about them,” 

“I’ve had a few, some vanilla, some not so vanilla. A few with men, but the serious ones have only been with women,” She said, her voice soft, like she knew you were insecure about asking. “Is there anything specific you would like to know?”

Your fingers picked more instantly at your thumb. “Were you-… did they-…”

Her thumb ran over your elbow. “Relax and take a deep breath,”

You did, except it didn’t help you. You felt like a fish gaping out of water. You forced your mouth to close, dragging in a deep breath through your nose. 

“You said you weren’t a pillow princess,” You mumbled, and a rye smile crossed her lips. 

“You want to know if I was tying people up or if they were tying me up?” 

You gulped but nodded. That had indeed been your question. 

“Well. The dynamic I had with my partners changed with each partner,” She explained thoughtfully. “I found early on that I preferred to give rather than receive, but sometimes it’s nice to just let go and let someone else take care of you,” 

You made a low sound as you took in the information. Really, it should have been obvious with the way she already took care of you.  She waited for you to ask a follow-up, as the silence stretched between you. When it became clear that you weren’t going to ask, she asked a question of her own. 

“Can I ask you a question?” Her head tilted, and she waited for you to nod. “The situationship?”

Your nose involuntarily scrunched. “What about it?”

“I was wondering if you would tell me a little bit more about it,” she mimicked your phrasing gently. 

You pulled your chin from her hand and looked away from her again.  It was… hard for you to talk about what happened with Mal. It still stung in a way you didn’t expect, even though you didn’t… want her anymore. Not like you had. 

“It was a teammate. We were under a lot of pressure, and it just kinda… happened,” You mumbled.  “I got hooked and she didn’t, so she chose someone else,”

Taylor made a low noise of understanding in the back of her throat. “But not before stringing you along,”

Your lips pressed into a thin line and you shook your head. “No,” 

You didn’t want to give her more details, to let yourself remember the agony of how it all devolved. How it felt like she was running you over broken glass every time you interacted. Giving you hope just to swipe it away at the last second. 

“For how long?” Taylor asked softly, drawing your eyes back to her. 

“Almost 4 years,” You sighed, running your hand through your hair and massaging the back of your neck. “The last time we hooked up was like 3 months after you and I became friends,” 

Her eyes tightened as she did the math in her head. That would make you 13 or 14 when it started. A shiver went down her spine. “So young,” 

You shrugged, your fingers digging more deeply into the skin on your neck. “Weird things happen at youth camp,” 

“Apparently,” She muttered. 

Your reaction to her trying to touch you was starting to make sense. If you had started young, and had a… bad experience… 

You cleared your throat. “How long was your last relationship?”

She blinked at you, pulling out of her thoughts. “5 years and some change,”

“Do you talk to any of your exes?” You asked.  “Like the serious ones?”

“No, those bridges went down in flames, but I keep up with a few of the less serious ones,” She shook her head. “I’m assuming you still talk to your ex situationship?”

“She’s one of my best friends,” Your shoulders lifted and fell, and your lips formed a very thin line at calling Mal a friend. You disliked how she UNC all over you, and things were… weird when you interacted, but you couldn’t exactly do anything about it. She was an integral part of your friend group and of the team. “Does it bother you?”

“No,” She said thoughtfully, reaching over to catch your hand as it again ran through your hair. “Because I trust you,” 

“I trust you too,” You said back, and you meant it with everything in you. You trusted Taylor more than you trusted nearly anyone. 

She smiled gently at you. “Do you want to continue this list?” 

You nodded slowly. “Let’s do this,” 

You glanced back down at the stack of papers between you. Yes, it was uncomfortable, but you trusted Taylor. 

OoOoOoO May 2017 You come around and the armor falls Pierce the room like a cannonball Now all we know is don't let go

“You are too fast for your own good,” Ali Krieger sighed, settling down on the bench beside you as you squirted more water into your mouth. 

You shrugged. “You and Dydasco keep leaving a gap for me to split, and Mal is good at finding space,”

The Washington Spirit captain hummed, sipping her own bottle. 

The defender had taken you under her wing as soon as you stepped foot in DC. She had shown up at your apartment ready to help you unpack, only to find it immaculately set up. She had taken you to lunch instead and introduced you to the rest of the team. 

They were wary at first given your reputation, but they were slowly finding out that you weren’t what everyone claimed you were. 

“Dude, that little through ball is sick!” Mal said before Ali could respond, throwing her arm around you and sitting on the bench practically in your lap. “We can totally use that against Sky Blue,”

You shuffled away from her as far as you could without being obvious, taking another long sip of your drink. “Kelley will be looking for it. She’s seen us do it too much,”

Ali had noticed that there was something… odd about the way you interacted with Mal. 

The two of you were inseparable, and your chemistry on the field was entirely unmatched. But there was just something she couldn’t quite put her finger on that bothered her about how Mal was with you. 

How you tried to squirm away from her without drawing attention to it, and how Mal would only move closer. How there was a depth to your relationship with the forward, a history, that Ali hadn’t been aware of before. 

Mal grabbed your water and squirted some into her own mouth while squeezing your shoulder. “Maybe we can discuss a new game plan over drinks?” 

Ali raised her eyebrow. “You’re both underage,”

“Hasn’t stopped Y/n before,” Mal shrugged, nudging you with a giggle. “She can take down a case of beer all on her own,”

You scrunched your nose, and brought your free hand to the back of your neck, pressing deeply into the skin. 

“Um, no thanks,” You said. “I have plans,” 

Mal froze, dropping the water bottle into your lap, and inadvertently getting your pants wet. 

“Plans?”  Mal’s eyes narrowed at you, and the edge in her voice made you shiver. “Which one of our teammates are you fucking tonight?”

A grimace crossed your features, but you smothered it under a mask of indifference, as you brought your shoulders up to touch your ears. “None of them,” 

Mal relaxed, ever so slightly. “Ah, so you finally got the app Lindsey suggested?” 

“No. I don’t use straight dating apps,” You huffed, righting the water bottle. “I don’t need the internet to pick up interested parties, but I’m not seeing some rando either. Not that it’s any of your business,” 

“Who was in your pants used to be entirely my business,” Mal mumbled, pressing a finger into the spot right below your ear, dragging it down the curve of your chin, and using it to tilt your head to make eye contact with her. “You liked it being my business,”

You stared her down, something passing between you that Ali didn’t understand. 

“And you made sure that it wasn’t anymore,” You said, your voice cold as ice as you pushed her hand away, and squirted more water into your mouth. 

“Ok,” Ali said, breaking the tension between you and the forward. “So Kelley will be wise to the through ball, what do you suggest?”

She had never seen you be so… direct. 

You put more space between you and Mal, your lip caught between your teeth for a long moment before you shrugged. “I’m sure Richie has a plan. He’s the master strategist isn’t he?” 

“You’ve had enough film sessions with him, so you tell me,” Ali countered. 

A dark look crossed your features, there for a split second before it was gone. Replaced by an easy smirk that Ali was learning wasn’t so easy. It was the face you made every time something made you uncomfortable and you didn’t want to talk about it. 

You took another sip from your water before you squirted it at Mal. “I’m sure he’s got a plan for his superstar,” 

You pushed yourself off the bench and ran off towards the midfield coach before either of them could stop you, and Mal went tearing off after you. 

Ali shook her head.  If only she had as much energy as you two. But still, there was something… nagging in the back of her mind. Red flags she couldn’t quite place. 

*****

You hummed quietly to yourself as you lit the final candle on your dining room table. 

The table was set. The dinner was in the oven set to the exact temperature Kelley recommended (after she walked you through how to turn it on), removed from its take-out containers and placed in glass dishes, and the trash had been removed taking with it any evidence that your meal hadn’t been created in your kitchen well before Taylor arrived at your apartment (and you had sworn Tony and Zach to secrecy). 

You had cleared off the counter in your kitchen, save for a thick off-white envelope, and a bottle of the red wine you knew Taylor preferred.  It would be the perfect date night. 

Taylor had flown in from Nashville to spend the midweek break with you, and you were fucking stoked. The two of you had seen each other in passing, but getting really quality time together during the season was rough. Nothing would stop you this weekend. 

“This is gorgeous,” Taylor hummed as she stepped into the kitchen area. “And it smells amazing,”

You smiled widely at her, pulling out a chair. “Thanks. I was just about to pull it out of the oven if you wanna sit?”

“Such a gentlewoman,” She said, as she sat, and you felt a bit of red color your cheeks. 

You had been called many things, but a gentleman (woman- whatever) was never one of them. People tended to believe your reputation and take you at face value. 

You were pretty sure Taylor was the only person to ever look past it. 

You turned away from her, moving towards the oven. “Only for you,”

She hummed, and you felt her eyes as you got the food out of the oven, and turned off the device before you brought it over to her. 

“It looks amazing,” She said as you placed the cookware on the table, and more red bloomed across your cheeks. 

“Thanks,” You mumbled, joining her at the table. “It’s coconut curry with chicken, broccoli and rice. It’s got a lot of good fats and protein,”

It was a habit you had started in March, listing out the good parts of your meal. You noticed that she never saw food as fuel or something to be enjoyed. It always seemed like a chore she dreaded or a part of her day she just omitted entirely. You worried and you hoped that your little talks might change her view. So far you had been (mildly) successful. 

Taylor hummed and spooned herself a good portion. “I like coconut curry. I have it a lot after shows,” 

“Good,” You smiled as the red bled up your cheeks towards your ears. “It’s one of my favorites during the season because it meets all of my macros and is filling,” 

Taylor hummed again. “What’s the envelope on your counter?”

You rolled your eyes at the thought of the off-white envelope, with your address written in perfect cursive. “A wedding invitation,”

Taylor’s eyebrows pulled tightly together. “I thought they got engaged in March? They’re already setting a date?”

“We have to plan around tournaments, so they picked the only time everyone will be available,” You mumbled, chewing your too-large mouthful. “Spring of 2018”

“Still seems like a fast turnaround,” Taylor said thoughtfully. 

You shrugged. “They’ve been together for like 10 years. Alex has probably been planning this for years. She can read minds, and she’s a control freak so she probably knew Kelley was going to propose as soon as Kelley started looking at rings,” 

“Ah, I see,” 

You fidgeted in your chair, your fork aimlessly scraping your plate. “Do you want to be my date?” 

It nigged in the back of your mind that the two of you might not even be together in a year and a half, and that you were probably asking her to be your date way too far in advance. 

“Unless you hate me by then,” You added, forcing a playful smirk across your lips. 

She rolled her eyes at you, swallowing her bite. “I won’t hate you by then, and I would love to be your date,”

You nodded. “I’ll talk to Alex and Kelley about getting a plus one,” 

Taylor hummed and took another bite, chewing slowly. “I also wanted to talk to you about maybe trying something new,”

You raised your eyebrow at her. “What did you have in mind?” 

“Well,” She started. “When we filled out the limits sheet you mentioned that you didn’t like all touches, so I thought we could maybe walk through those boundaries, and I’ve never seen you naked, which is kinda criminal,”

“So? You want to what?” You asked, watching her carefully. 

“Shower together,” She said, meeting your eyes. “This way it’s something we’ve done, just-“

 “I’ll actually take my clothes off this time?” You asked, meeting her eyes. 

“And you can show me where you’re comfortable being touched and where you’re not,” Taylor continued gently. “I think it might be a good exercise in intimacy without expectations,” 

You nodded, taking a shaky breath. “Ok,”

“Ok,” 

*****

Water cascaded down your body in ripples, rolling over the goosebumps that littered your skin. Your fingers tapped against your hips, as you tried to force yourself to relax. 

“We don’t have to do this Y/n,” Taylor said from behind the shower curtain. 

You thought that this would be… easier if you get into the water first. That it would ease the bubbling anxiety in your chest. 

It didn’t. But you weren’t ready to give up yet. You wanted to trust her. 

“No,” You said, your voice more shaky than you would have liked it to be. “It’s ok. You can get in,” 

You turned towards the water, letting the spray hit your face, as you heard the distinct crinkle of the shower curtain. 

You felt her warm presence behind you, though she didn’t reach out to touch you. 

You took a deep breath, steeling yourself before you turned back to face her. 

“I want to do this,” You mumbled, meeting her eyes, trying not to scan down her body. You appreciated that her blue orbs remained steadfastly locked with yours. 

“As long as you’re sure,” Taylor said softly. “You can tell me to stop at any point, and we will. Red, yellow and green still apply,” 

Your lip disappeared between your teeth and you nodded. 

You understood the stoplight system that the two of you had discussed. Red for stop, yellow for slow down or discuss first and green for good. You swore you would try for her, so you would. 

“Remember that I need a verbal?” Taylor asked you. 

“Yes. I’m ok. Green,” You said, your voice shaking more than you wanted it to. “Just…”

You looked away from her, finding a spot on the wall above her head. “Just go slow,”

“Of course,” Taylor promised you. “We’ll go at your pace. Even if today we just stand there, that’s ok,”

You nodded again. 

You didn’t like how… vulnerable you felt without your top on. 

It was too close. Too intimate and that’s part of the reason you had never done this with anyone before. 

But Taylor wasn’t just anyone.

You wanted to give Taylor this. 

You closed your eyes and let out a long breath. It shook as it left your lungs, disappearing into the steam building between you. 

You reached out slowly, catching her hands. “Let me show you where my boundaries are,” 

You went to tug her hands forward, but she resisted. 

“Can you look at me while we do this?” She asked, her voice gentle. “I want you to be present, here with me,”

It took you a very long second for you to open your eyes, and another for them to drag down her forehead and meet her blue. 

She smiled softly at you. “Thank you,”

Your head bobbed briefly, and you squeezed her hands. It shouldn’t be this hard for you to let someone touch you. 

The two of you stood there for several minutes before you gained the courage to pull her forward again. She went with you this time, letting you bring her hands to the hard lines of your stomach just below your belly button. 

“Here is ok,” You said, trailing her fingers up the center of your abs to your diaphragm before you moved them out to your sides and back down to the original level. 

“My whole back is ok too,” You murmured, feeling her nails dragging across your lower back, meeting at your spine. 

Your eyes slipped closed at the feeling. At how you could feel the body heat rolling off of her because of how close she was to you.

“Color?” She asked, and you could feel the words on your lips. 

Your eyes blinked open, meeting the fire burning in hers. “Green,”

“Good,” She said. “Stay with me, ok?”

“Ok,” You breathed back, as her fingers moved up your spine like she was counting each of them. 

You did your best to remind yourself that it was her hands on you as they finally reached your shoulders. They outlined your collarbone, and her thumbs brushed against your neck. 

It felt like a warm flame traveling from the point of her touch up to your cheeks, and down in your chest. 

“Will you let me wash your hair?” She asked, and her thumb swiped around your cheek. 

“Yeah,” You breathed out, making no move to grab your shampoo. You were afraid that if you’d turned, you would forget it was her. 

Her head tilted to the side. “Color?”

“Green, right now,” You murmured, more red flooding into your cheeks. “I just… I need to be able to see you when your hands are on me. When we’re… like this,”

“Ok,” Taylor agreed easily like it wasn’t a big ask at all. “I’ll stay where you can see me,”

You nodded, swallowing hard again. “Maybe we just do this today,” 

“That’s ok too,” Taylor hummed, her thumb running over your cheek to the sensitive skin behind your ear. “We’re doing this all at your pace,”

You swallowed hard again. “Thank you,”

Her lips tilted upwards. “Anything for you. I want you to enjoy our time together too. We’ll work up to the rest. My main concern is your comfort, and maintaining your boundaries. We’ll take it one step at a time,”

You could do that. You could do this. One step at a time. 

[lalalalupia]

OK so yeah Lore dump about my AU..(beware that subjects can change in the future.)

This is going to be a long long ride with some pretty arts along the way.

let’s start with what is this AU? :

Prime demons / Prime demon glitch is what if Prime defender boys set in a world of horror and they are monster instead of yk like in canon.

first of need to clarify that, the world setting is like in canon but with a little twist that dead star did rift half of prime make it some kind of apocalypse dystopian world where the abyss(monster) come up of the rift and people who interact with it get infected.

However, before the coming of dead star Prime originated had its magic user mutant that originated in its planet ( witch + ghost and stuff.) After the founding of Watch, they selected a few mutant by themselves to raised them to be the new generation of PF ( like in canon)

However Watch in this AU…is not overall good guy. And PF and PD in this universe is not treated as good as in canon. It was more like a grey area operation..only Dakota that still believes they are heroes.

And for the boys I did need to separate them into their own section. Let’s start with William the Ghost.

For the better understanding of the overall plot.

William did died from the fall, but with a little twist that he is actually got stabbed and push by someone before the falls.

He did have some power like the original, However it did come from the previous whisperer that give it to him when Wiwi is dying. In an attempt to escape Mal. He vows himself that he would solve who killed him and another children in dead woods.

For Dakota :

Some changes in his plot a little bit for the angst ( first of all he and William is a childhood friend before Dakota parents died in an *accident* ) and he moved in with his aunt in new haven.

however, one time when he went hiking with his friends. They got attacked by the abyss bear, Dakota tried his best to save his friend but failed his friend was mauled to death and so does he.

But In his dying state he saw a a big wolf came in and destroyed the bear. and he also saw a boy that looks just like william with it. The wolf bit Dakota results in its saving his life.

Like in Canon Dakota falls into state like coma, but in here he and the wolf did talk and train together( it is actually master cole ) and in the end the wolf told him to go find the new whisperer at deadwood and never trust watch.

When he woke up. Like in canon he is the one who admit his aunt to rehab. And due to complications issues his aunt is the one who sign his guardianship away to the Watch for she can no longer take care of him anymore which results in he went to look for william.

*Side note he has some complicates feeling about watch but still believe in them as heroes, he just needs time and talk with william first*

He then find out William is missing...heart broken he went into the woods where he and William usually go together, somewhere only they know...there he meet William Wisp welcoming him home

Not knowing what happened or what will happen next Dakota and William join finally together again. However, they are not quite alone for William met someone new and Dakota bought Watch here in dead woods as well without knowing. But in the good side they got each other.

[ another Vyncent lore dump will be here soon. ]

[ell0ra-br3kk3r-writes]

The Phoenix and the Crow

pairing: (future) kaz brekker x fem!reader

genre: nutural

el's thoughts: this was by far my favorite request ever haha submitted by @rachelcarroll1819 *mwah* love you for this, thank you! this is part one and there's a sneak peak at part two at the bottom! this is following the show plot line (season one). also this one is kinda short... but i couldn't find a proper place to cut it off soooo... sorry. i hope y'all like it

masterlist

In order to rise from its own ashes, a phoenix must first burn. That’s what Y/N reminded herself over and over again. It’s just a stage of life, it’ll get better and you’ll always come back stronger. She scoffed, “Some phoenix.” Aren’t the birds supposed to be powerful, elegant, and brave? Then why was she running away? Out of fear? 

Yes. 

~

Alina grunted when she tripped on a tree root and fell to her knee. “C’mon, darling, we have to keep going.” Y/N helped her up with a quiet sigh and quickly checked behind them to make sure they weren’t being followed. The sun summoner nodded and kept walking behind her mentor figure. 

Alina was extremely grateful for the grisha who took her under her wing when she first arrived at the little palace. Teaching her the ways of grisha and helping her adjust any way she could. Saving her a seat at meals to spare her from the embarrassment of standing at the front, searching for a seat. Within the last few weeks Y/N became like an older sister, even if there was only a few years age gap between the two. 

“We’re almost at the docs, then we’ll be out of here.”

The moment Y/N realized what the Darkling had planned for Alina she was planning her own escape. She knew she needed to get the sun summoner out of the little palace as fast as possible in order to stop the nightmare-ish horrors that were in store for their country.  

The rustling of leaves were heard behind the pair causing them to stop and turn around, arms raised in defense. “Mal.” Alina’s voice came out in a breathless relief. She rushed forward and wrapped her arms around him at which Y/N turned around to give them their moment of reunion. After a few minutes and hushed whispers behind her, she cleared her throat “Okay, we really must get a move on now.”

~

“So you want to go after the stag instead of running away?” Y/N had a smirk on her face as she watched Alina wring her hands. “Yes?” “It’s either a solid yes or no, no maybe.” The younger girl took in a breath, “Yes. I want to go after the stag.” The y/e/c eyed girl smiled proudly, “Perfect.” 

So the journey continues. Sunlight was spent hiking and the nights, huddled close to Alina to stay warm since fire was out of the option. Y/N could feel the need to use to power growing stronger and stronger, her hands got so warm she thought fire might start on accident. She needed just to let out a single spark to dampen the burning temptation. While following the couple walking ahead she let a single flame lick through her fingers, swirling around her wrist before diving back into her palm. Her smile was so bright and soft as Alina looked over her shoulder to check that she was still there. 

Using their power makes a grisha stronger, and not being able to use it properly had taken a toll on the older girl, making the younger slightly guilty. Y/N had no reason to stick with them, she could leave and go find her own way if she wanted to… So why has she stayed? Alina furrowed her eyebrows, mentally searching for a reason that her mentor would stay. 

“We’re almost there… It should be just around-” Mal cut himself off once the stag came into view. Y/N stared wide eyed, “Oh… It’s real.” She moved closer to Alina and Mal, waiting for them to take their aim, but right before the could fire, she noticed black whisps of smoke curling through the snow. She quickly let a small flame flicker through her fingers as she felt his presence creeping up behind them. “Alina-” 

Everything happened in a blur, the stag was brought to the floor, Alina threw up a sun shield around herself, the stag and Mal. Y/N held her hands out infront of her her flames followed her arm movements like whips keeping the other grisha back. Black smoke circled her ankel keeping her firmly planted in her place, panic bubbled in her chest when she made eye contact with Ivan. Her eyes pleaded with him to which he only slightly shook his head. The last thing she saw was the Darkling standing over her with a look of pity, before her eyes closed on their own acord and her heart slowed to the point of unconsciousness. 

~

“Heartrenders…” Y/N grumbled as she was finally able to move and control her body. She had started to wake up a while ago, first her mind then her toes up to her fingers, the tingling sensation crawling it’s way up till she was able to fully move. Her vision cleared slowly, the sunlight streaming into the tent through the waving flaps of the entrance. 

Rising to her feet, she made her way to the tent entrance after gulping down a glass of water. One gaurd stood in front of her making her sigh silently. With a flick of her fingers a singular flame danced across the dirt floor to a pile of straw and some explosive crates. A high pitched yelp left the guard’s lips as he ran over desperately pulling the crates away from the growing fire. With a smug smile, Y/N slipped on a first army coat and stumbled a bit as she made her way to the crowds of people. 

Alina Starkov came into sight as the inferni quickly mimicked everyone’s hands over her own chest. The sandskiff. Y/N’s eyes darted around as she thought of a way to get herself on that vessel. 

“I still can’t believe the age on this.” Y/N’s attention snapped to the voice belonging to a tall zeminni man. “There is no way they’ll believe this.” “Sure they will. Now keep quiet.” A suli girl and kerch followed the taller of the trio closely. She watched as they slipped into line soundlessly, seemingly belonging to the crowd if only she hadn’t overheard their conversation.

sneak peak at part two:

“Who are you?”

Y/N rolled her eyes, “Y/N L/N, inferni. Lieutenent General of the second army. Well, ex-lieutenent, I now assume.” A gasp slipped from the person behind her and she was instantly released from their hold. The suli girl for before step around her and moved to stand beside the other two. The trio looked like a rough patch group of criminals. Ketterdam. She could only assume that’s where they’re from. “Now it’s only polite to tell me who you are given I just told you who I am. Very willingly, mind you, I could’ve easily set a controlled fire loose.”

“Jesper Fahey,” said the tallest of the group. 

“Inej Ghafa.”

“Brekker.” His rich coffee brown eyes bore into her’s as if trying to read her soul. The dark lighting casted shadows over his sharp facial features. “Kaz Brekker.” His voice held much reluctance as he spoke his name.

“And I’m safe to assume you’re all criminals. Now that leaves me with one last question…” She spun on her heel and walked around, throwing glances over her shoulder every so often, inspecting the room. “What business do you have on this skiff?” 

[changingplumbob]

Before we could head to playgroup there were some chores that needed doing. I gave Byron his squeaky toy and while I vacuumed Mal put out the washing and sorted a carry bag for me to take with us.

Malcolm: Are you ready to go to playgroup? Huh?

Byron: *giggles*

Malcolm: You let all the peasants know you’re not to be messed with or we'll buy their houses and hike the rent

Layla: Real nice Mal

Malcolm: And if anyone picks on Mummy or Jessica for having teen pregnancies I want you to poop on them

I burst into giggles as he held Byron aloft for a kiss.

[benjaycaptain]

Wonders all around you

written for @descendantsgiftexchange for @fifthnormani . hope you had a lovely holiday, and sorry for the wait!

Jay stared at his rucksack, going over his mental checklist to see what he had missed.

He hadn't expected Gil to actually agree to a trip, but now that it was happening, Jay figured why not. Gil definitely wanted to experience the wonders of Auradon, and Jay could use a breather after a busy year.

"So," Mal drawled as she came up beside him, "all set for the honeymoon?"

Rolling his eyes, Jay said, "For the last time, it isn't a honeymoon."

"It's totally a honeymoon," she practically sing-songed, "you're doing exactly what Ben and me are doing. In fact, you're doing it for longer."

Because a king can't exactly be away for longer, Jay thought, knowing that they both knew that. "Except the whole marriage thing," he said instead, questioning why he was even entertaining the conversation yet again.

"Don't sweat the small stuff."

"Oh, so now marriage is small stuff?"

"You decided to take a gap year to travel the world with Gil, how is that not like a whirlwind marriage?"

Jay sighed. "Do I need to throw you out?"

"Oh, I'm sorry, am I distracting you from something important?"

"Nah, you're just being annoying, as usual."

She swatted his shoulder. "Rude, I am a delight."

Raising an eyebrow to hide his amusement, he said, "That's not the word I'd use."

Mal gasped, moving her hand to her chest in mock-shock. "How dare you, sir! Just for that I'm leaving." She made a show of huffing as she stomped toward the door.

"Oh no, what will I do now," Jay said, deadpan, focused once more on his rucksack.

"Just for that, I won't give you any romantic advice," she warned as she crossed the doorway, her hand on the doorknob, as if she was waiting for the perfect time to slam it shut.

Her threat pulled a laugh out from him, despite himself. "As if I'd ever ask you for that."

Mal opened her mouth but paused. She blinked. "You know what, that's fair," she said, but a grin formed as she began to close the door. "But I'll take that as admission that you need some. Bye, Jay, have fun!" The rush of her words were punctuated by the door clicking closed.

Jay stared at the door.

He then sighed.

Mal's really harping on this, he thought, wondering why she was so fixated on the idea. Though, in the grand scheme of things, he supposed it wouldn't hurt anything if he just let her continue thinking the trip had a deeper meaning than just an excuse to go exploring.

After all, he'd been in Auradon for some time now, but he hadn't actually seen anything. Why shouldn't he take the opportunity that Gil had presented?

Never mind that it had been his own idea.

Sighing again, Jay continued packing, trying not to let Mal's words get under his skin.

—

They hadn't been on their hike long, their pace leisurely if excited, when Gil stopped short, a gasp leaving him.

"The leaves are different colors!" Gil said, practically bouncing on the heels of his feet.

Jay blinked, and he looked around. "Yeah, the colors change with the season. We're in Fall now."

"Amazing," Gil said, voice soft as he stared out at the different trees. "Do they become, like, every color?"

Jay opened his mouth, but he paused, glancing from the different types of trees to the awe on Gil's face. "You know what, I don't know," he said, truthful and unashamed. He hadn't been outside in forests all that often, and he certainly hadn't been everywhere.

Maybe trees could be every color.

"I wanna see every color possible," Gil said, eyes gleaming as he continued staring, determination now dancing across his features, mixing with his excitement so much that he almost glowed.

"We'll keep our eyes open," Jay said even as his gaze stayed on Gil.

Even when he first arrived in Auradon, he hadn't been half as excited as Gil currently was.

When Gil turned to smile at him, Jay found himself smiling back.

—

They had decided to each keep a journal of their findings — the different colored leaves, types of animals, flowers, plants, rocks, anything and everything new and interesting — so Jay was writing about a funky type of mushroom when Gil grabbed his wrist.

Alarmed, Jay looked up, and his nerves braced for a threat until he took in the astonishment on Gil's face. Blinking, he followed Gil's gaze until he landed on a blue-gray and white bird perched on a tree's upper branch.

Brow creasing, Jay asked, "Gil?"

"Shh!" Gil squeezed Jay's wrist briefly. "I think—" He gasped as the bird spread its wings and took to the sky.

The both of them watched the bird fly for as long as they could before it disappeared completely in the foliage.

"That was an actual bird," Gil said at length, tone soft even as he squeezed Jay's wrist again, "and it was actually flying!"

A small laugh left Jay, unbidden. "Yeah, man. I think it was a hawk," he said, but the longer he watched Gil stare after the bird, the more he realized that the island had very little birds, let alone ones healthy enough to actually fly. "Maybe we'll see more. Like an owl or something."

"An owl?" Gil asked as he finally tore his eyes away from the canopy.

"Yeah, but they probably come out after dark."

"Dude, why are we sleeping after dark instead of exploring more!"

"Because we want to stay alive, dude," Jay reminded him.

Gil pouted. "Fine."

Amused, Jay said, "Maybe one night we can just chill outside our tents by the fire. See if we can see anything."

Instantly, Gil brightened. He pulled Jay close — and it was then that Jay realized that Gil had never released his wrist — and said, "Deal!"

Jay collided with Gil with a small grunt, the one arm hug a little awkward because Gil still held his wrist, but Jay simply let Gil manhandle him as he said, "Deal."

Gil hadn't released him right away, but when he did, he was smiling wide.

Despite the chill in the air, Jay felt warm.

—

"It's getting colder," Gil said one day after he had climbed up and down yet another tree.

"Yeah," Jay agreed absently, focusing on building a fire; the sun would be setting soon, and they hadn't properly set up camp yet.

"And it's usually even colder at night," Gil continued, playing with the bit of bark in his hands.

"Yup," Jay agreed again as he got up, satisfied with the fire enough that he decided to start on pitching up their tents.

"So why don't we just sleep together?"

Jay nearly tripped over his own two feet as he spread one of the footprints down on the ground. He stood straight, staring at Gil. "What?"

"I mean," Gil began, tilting his head to the side, "why use two tents when one is big enough for both of us?"

"Ah," Jay said lamely, and he glanced down at the tent he was currently setting up and then glanced at the other still packed away. They weren't huge tents, but one could definitely fit the both of them; though, it wouldn't be roomy. "I guess that's fine," he said when he realized Gil was still waiting on his answer.

"And we'll be warmer!" Gil said triumphantly.

"Seeing as we'll nearly be on top of each other, definitely," Jay said, amused, as he continued setting up.

"That's fine," Gil said pleasantly, sitting by the fire and watching Jay work. "I like to cuddle anyway."

Feeling himself grow warm, Jay did his best to focus on the task at hand. "Lucky me…" His cheeks grew warmer as Gil laughed.

Luckily for him, Gil busied himself with his journal, so Jay was able to pitch up the tent and ready the inside without any more distractions. Even dinner came and went without anything remarkable happening.

It was only as they cleaned up to get ready for bed that Jay began to grow nervous. Which was silly. What did he have to be nervous about?

He stretched lightly, trying to calm himself, and as he did, he found himself looking up at the night sky. For a moment, he forgot himself, taken by the vastness above and the multitude of stars. He remembered the first time he saw stars in Auradon; they had taken his breath away then as they did now.

Had they taken Gil's breath away yet?

"Jay, what're you— whoa!"

Jay blinked.

Gil had knocked into him, and they had both tumbled to the ground, Gil on his back and Jay on top of him, with Gil's hands on Jay's hips to steady him as Jay braced his hands on either side of Gil's head. They stared at each other.

Before Jay could say anything, Gil's breath hitched, a glint to his eyes. "Beautiful…"

Jay blinked again, his stomach fluttering before he remembered the stars above him. He tried to will away the warmth he had felt. "The stars?" he guessed lamely.

Gil blinked, his gaze flickering past Jay for a few seconds before settling back on him. "Yeah, they're pretty, but I meant you."

Jay stared, heart skipping a beat. "Me?"

With a soft smile settling on his lips, Gil nodded. "Yeah, you." And with that, he leaned up and placed a chaste kiss to Jay's lips.

And though it was chaste, it sent a spark through Jay, and he found himself leaning into the kiss.

Well, crap. Mal had been right.

He was so not looking forward to her gloating.

Still, as Gil pulled back, looking up at him with that soft smile, Jay figured he could endure Mal's smugness.

Gil was worth it.

[eerna]

hii i need you to help me out cause soc and ck were some of my favourite books and i genuinely did not enjoy season 2 at all… i know people say the performances were good but i don’t really feel like that’s true for a lot of the actors? also yeah everything was rushed but also it straight up did not make any sense sometimes? the only moments i enjoyed were basically the ones copy pasted from the books and some of the innovative moments of the end (ew inej and tolya tho) anyways i’m really trying to find stuff to like abt it so pleaaaaase help what won you over?

OMG OKAY POSITIVITY BREAK!!!!!

I liked Daisy Head as Genya a lot!!!! She was amazing and the one performance I see no fault with. Freddie Carter slayed the "you Inej, you", Amita Suman slayed the armor scene and Inej vibes, Jack Wolfe and Danielle Galligan slayed in general. Archie Renaux did give off a "I'd rather be somewhere else" vibe, but considering he's been treated like a chewtoy by *akhem akhem* some fans for the past 2 years, I can't fault him, he is still doing well enough for me to care abt Mal. I liked the part where the crows all stand around in their Komedie Brute costumes. Nina flirting with Kaz and Kaz sending murder eyes towards her is great. Black Veil looked really cool. The Darkling crying over his mom was genuinely a heart pinging scene. I also enjoyed the Malina ending, as well as Nikolai. The fort where the final battle takes place is super pretty and made me wanna go hiking.

[sunnyie-eve]

11 | Spelled

Series: No Prince Charming

Paring: Harry Hook x Original female character Princess!

Word Count: 1.4k

Warnings: none

| MASTERLIST |

"Oh, no. Okay. Who got onto Jane's cake?" Carlos shouts at the other kids.

Bella tries to calm Carlos down about him worrying about the cake till they hear shouting outside and run out to see Audrey with the scepter and crown.

"Wow, my example to y'all was right." Bella turns to see Mal old.

In order to help Mal turn back onto her normal self they had to go to the Isle to get Hades ember. All Bella had to do was changer out of her skirt into pants Evie had made her that she's been meaning to give to her.

"Hey, I'm me again." Mal says as they arrive and Bella gets of Jay's bike.

"Duh. Evil magic doesn't work here. Kind of the point." Celia tells her leading the way to her dad.

Carlos turns on the tv to show that the man was talking about Audrey is behind the spell so they rush out to see Harry, Gil and others stealing their bikes.

"Long time nay see." Harry smiles.

"Get off my bike, Hook." Jay tells him.

"Catch me if you can, Jay." Harry takes off so they rush to stop them while Mal and Celia go to Hades.

The four end up losing them so they just met up with Mal once she was finished and they head back home just for Harry and Gil to jump through before the barrier closed.

"We made it, bro." They cheer.

"Hey, guys. We're just coming for a wee visit." Harry says so Carlos and Jay try to stop them.

"Stop it you guys." Bella tells them as Mal drops the ember and it goes towards the water but Uma shows up catching it before getting out of the water to join them on the bridge.

"Uma, you swam off and forgot all about us." Gil tells her as him and Harry join her side.

"Yeah. Planning her revenge, no doubt." Mal crosses her arms.

"It's not all about you, Mal. I was looking for a hike in the barrier to let everybody out. And you know what I found, boys. It's way better out there than we thought. There this thing that looks like a furry rock called a coconut. And fish so big you could dance on their backs. And they've been keeping it all for themselves."

"Uma, Mal kind of needs that to break a spell. Ben's ex, Audrey, sleeping beauty's daughter." Bella tells her.

"Mm. So the good guy is the bad guy?" Uma laughs, "Well, I might not give it back. Let's see what happens."

"Uma, it's not the time for games! People's lives are in danger!" Mal yells at her.

"Guarantee me that every single villain kid who wants to, can get off the Isle." Uma walks back some.

"I can't do that." Mal tells her.

"Can't do that... How about now?" Uma holds the ember over the water.

"Deal. Deal."

"Uma. Her word is good." Evie tells her while Bella looks at Mal knowing the truth.

"I'll still keep this, for the time being. Because of you think I trust you to save the world on your own, think again. This is a job for pirates."

"We can always go back to hating each other when this is over." Jay tells Mal so she agrees, "Where our bikes?" Jay turns to the guys.

"Oh, yeah. We crashed them." Gil smiles while Harry demonstrates it.

"Here's a thought. We could try to be friends. Put our history behind us and celebrate our differences. Yeah? Who wants gum?" Evie steps forward.

"Jay, the bridge, please." Bella tells him while Mal ans Uma bicker about who's in charge.

As they walk across the bridge, Harry grabs Bella's wrists as she walks in front of them pulling her back, "What happened to your visits?" He says making Mal look back at them.

"So you did go see Harry too on your trips to the Isle. You lied to me and Evie." Mal stops turning back.

Bella looks at Evie, "She lied to just you. I knew she saw Harry and Gil too on her trips." Evie comes clean.

"You lied to me too?"

"Can we talk about this later? We have Audrey to deal with right now." Bella tells Mal so they start to walk again.

Finally arriving they see everyone was asleep and couldn't contact anyone one. "So you hung out with Harry and Gil?" Uma stands next to Bella.

"Yeah, we got close. I wanted to get to know them more." She explains and sees Harry taking someone wallet, "Harry, no. We don't steal people's money here. Especially when they are under a spell." She takes the money out of his hand putting it back in the guy's wallet.

"You're no fun."

"Boohoo." She walks him to Uma and Gil.

Carlos comes across Dude who tells him what Audrey did to everyone either making them sleep or turn to stone.

Then Uma and Mal start to argue about where to check first and Bella gets annoyed, "How about I make the decision first since Ben is my brother and I want to check on him. So I beat you and you. Blood wins." Bella heads off for the castle so they all follow her.

Arriving at the castle they don't have much luck looking for Ben and end up in the knights room. "Okay, he's obviously not here." Bella looks around at the big empty room.

"You still have the ring." Harry picks up her hand making Jay eye the two.

"It was a gift, so yes." She take her hand back as they follow Mal and Uma to the dead end.

And since they were too busy arguing they didn't see the knight in front of them moving till Harry yelled at them.

"You like a Prince, Mal? How about a knight and shining armor? Or Knights." She makes all the knights come alive.

Watch your back, watch your back Watch your back, watch your back We can counter their attack Hit 'em 'til the armor cracks

"This could get a little sticky. How to win this battle could be tricky. But I know the best way, fall back, let me lead. You hold the line and we'll bring them to their knees." Uma tells everyone as they arm up.

"Swords in the air if you're with me. They got us outnumbered one to fifty. But victory is ours 'cause I got a strategy. You take the left and the rest of you can follow me. This is my crew." Mal tells Uma.

"This is my squad." They argue.

"This is my turf."

"Oh my gosh. Look, guys, we've got bigger fish to fry. Put your differences aside. Cause right now we're on the same side." Evie stops them.

Until the night falls, everyone We'll stay together 'til the battle is done Watch your back, watch your back Watch your back, watch your back We can counter their attack Hit 'em 'til the armor cracks Until the night falls, we're aligned It doesn't mean that we're on the same side Watch your back, watch your back Watch your back, watch your back Hit 'em hard and hit 'em fast They're too heavy to react

"This situation's getting kinda heavy. Hold your weapons tight, keep 'em steady. Cause if we stick together, we can make it out alive. I'll cause a distraction, you attack them from the side." Mal gives instructions.

"All my soldiers stand at the ready. We can cut 'em up like confetti. We'll hit 'em from the front, you counter from behind. Don't forget the fate of Auradon's on the line." Uma adds.

This is all-out war, they got us outnumbered The way the swords clash is the sound of the thunder And we are not going under, we will never run for cover We battle for the victory and ride for each other

Until the night falls, everyone We'll stay together 'til the battle is done Back to back, back to back Back to back, back to back We can counter their attack Hit 'em 'til the armor cracks Until the night falls, we're aligned It doesn't mean that we're on the same side Back to back, back to back Back to back, back to back Hit 'em hard and hit 'em fast They're too heavy to react

"Suit of armor strong and true. Make this metal bust a move!" Mal spells the knights.

Until the night falls, you can trust I'm gonna help you win this battle because I got your back, got your back Got your back, got your back All for one and that's a fact Knights fall, pitch black

[eyesoverinfinity]

L4D2 alien abduction au

Based on this post by @house-of-wack that I rebloged

This is an Au where the survivors are abducted by aliens so they can study the green flu as part of a human conservation effort. Because the Aliens, I'm calling them the "Hikra Mala" (Hike-ra mal-a), are the only other sentient species in the known universe and don't want to lose humanity.

I didn't quite know how to describe them, but here's one I drew in pixel art under the cut.

It has wings, one eye, one tail that splits into two and claws for feet.

The claws and tails are their form of hands, and so all of their interactive technology is on the floor.

They have variation in colour, like humans do, but not between different sex/genders. (I'll put those in a different post if this gets popular enough.)

Here's Francis for scale

Shut up Francis

Anyway that's the biology sketch, here's what they look like with clothes

I SAID HERE'S WHAT THEY LOOK LIKE WITH CLOTHES!

They wear skirts because it doesn't get in the way of their wings or feet. The bands on the tails are purely decoration. But I'll get into more detail in a different post.

Lets move on to the survivors.

The left for dead 2 survivors are abducted as they leave Savannah. They are taken at a fuel station because the Hikra Mala can't abduct a car while it was going at full speed.

They wake up in different cells with their weapons confiscated, new clothes and their wounds treated. To which they are understandably confused. Then they are approached by the Hikra Mala and are told about the human conservation effort, they all take it differently.

Ellis: He is over the moon (wink, wink.) that aliens exist, but once the hype dies down, is concerned over the idea that the human race is doing so bad that aliens feel the need to intervene.

Nick: Thinks that "human conservation effort" means that the aliens think that humans are animals and gets mad. Luckily the alien with him is a patient one. Once he found that the others where safe, he stopped caring about earth, or at least the people on it.

Rochelle: is amazed on the existence of another species and their technology. But is worried about the fate of Earth and what may happen if they discover the Hikra Mala.

Coach: Is thankful for the aliens help, but has a small crisis of faith as he unsure how aliens fit into his world view. He decides that God probably made them too. he is also worried about earth.

And that's my alien au. if people like this, I'll see where this goes.

eyesoverinfnity out!

[loetise]

character sheet for camp nightwing ‘78 group verse.  ˎˊ˗

name:  allie hope fleur. ( note:  her full first name is valentine, but your muse will not know that, nor does she wish to be called it! she’s just allie :) signs the papers as allie and everything. ) faceclaim:  kristine froseth. (i have a few more listed on my carrd but i will not ‘claim’ them for the sake of this verse but you can use them for ref if you’d like a better image of miss allie :)!) age:  19. pronouns:  she/her. position ( if counselor, please add what they’re over ):  counselor (arts and crafts, adores outdoorsy things and just loves being outside, knows tons about wildlife as well so i could see her as a guide of sorts for kiddos (esp young ones) that wish to take hikes in the woods.) shadyside or sunnyvale:  sunnyvale. hair color:  dishwater/mousy/dirty blonde with a caramel tone, though naturally it’s slightly darker but because of all of the time spent in the sun, it lightens in the spring and summer. eye color: cornflower blue, specifically. not icy or dark, i use ‘sky colored’ sometimes, but i mean like a very clear blue sky, not pale or cloudy. height:  4′11. species:  half fae, half human. sexuality:  bisexual. relationship status:  single, very flirty though (often by accident it’s truly just her nature). connections:  caroline forbes (close friend since high school, almost older sister figure) rachel amber (close friend, soulmate, cabinmate), will goode (friends with benefits), mal (friend, grumpy/sunshine dyn, allie follows her around until she talks back to her), sean diaz (close friend, gentle soft babies), kate bishop (ex-best friend, allie’s now scared of her because she’s a hunter), thea moore (party buddies), maxwell sinclair (close friend, older brother figure), evan wright (friend, allie follows him around and tries to get him to reach out). fears:  thunderstorms, bodies of water, drowning, disappointing her loved ones, being boring, being cruel and hurting someone, being abandoned. favorite camp activity:  going for hikes/being outside, just being around the kids, making friends/bonding, she generally has a pretty messed up relationship with home so anything that gets her away from it and with other people she adores. she likes it all, with the exceptions of archery (which she will cheer on but not participate in) and swimming (which she will.... hang out... away from) brief bio:  allie was born to her mother, olette fleur, at age 18 in the woods outside of sunnyvale, her father had left once he found out of the pregnancy, leaving olette alone. olette felt as if the child growing inside of her had ruined her chances of the life she had been promised, ruining the young adulthood she should’ve had. she wasted no chance reminding allie of that once she was born, not being a present nor kind mother to allie, who was permanently affected by her mother’s words. allie’s fear of water started after falling down a well when she was very young, and her mother didn’t notice until she was brought back to her by someone nearby who had heard the screaming from the bottom. olette had grown even more distant after that, hardly ever being home and giving her daughter ‘special medicine’ to keep her from needing her, leaving her a sickly and frail child. olette’s behavior continues until she’s hardly at home at all, then she leaves, permanently before allie’s first year of high school, when she was 14 years old. though, allie still believes she’ll one day come home. reeling from the effects of her mother’s abandonment, allie gets into trouble via drugs, alcohol, hard partying, sex, and worst of all, bad boyfriends. she has exes on top of exes, so many rumors from previous relationships that she’s drowning in them. however, she acts as if nothing’s wrong. this is normal, right? if she wants love, this is what she has to do. (bonus! her thoughts on shadyside/sunnyvale rivalry: she simply does not see it! she often doesn’t conform to social norms bc she doesn’t see them and doesn’t care, (bit of a stretch tbh, like she cares what people think a Ton but if the norm hurts other people she’s not about it) she will befriend shadysiders as easy as sunnyvalers, and sometimes even finds them easier to talk to, because she doesn’t quite fit in with the general sunnyvale population either. however, she finds sunnyvale suffocating, and wants to get out as soon as she can, though she feels as if she doesn’t know how.) personality:  allie is immensely kind in every aspect of her life. she treats all that walks the earth with equal kindness, respect, and admiration, it takes very little to please her. she is caring, loyal, affectionate, charismatic, gentle, hopeful, and optimistic as well as bubbly, talkative, ditzy, people-pleasing, and curious. some things that she struggles with is her naivety and her loneliness and insecurities. sometimes she can be oblivious and see-through, though she always has the best intentions. she can also be clingy and dependent of others.

+ bonus! my pinterest board for her general ‘78 verse.

[eviesessays]

26. What advice would you give your great grandchildren?

Joan Clementine Rodriguez was my firstborn great grandchild.  Because Mount Auburn Hospital near their home was filled to capacity in the Obstetrical department they were sent on to Cambridge City Hospital.  Anne had a very long and tiring labor and after many hours Joan was delivered by Ceasarian section.  The hospital was very noisy and Anne felt certain she would get more rest at home.  She was dressing and I was holding Joan.  Both Joan’s grandmothers, her aunt Nicky and her Dad were present.  Then the most frightening thing of my life happened.  Joan began screaming and then jerking, rythmic,  movements of her arms and legs.  The staff was summoned and the doctor informed us all that Joan had suffered a grand mal seizure.  She was placed in an isolette and rushed by ambulance to Tufts Medical Center neonatal intensive care unit.  Her Dad went in the ambulance and we followed in cars.  Her care was swift and intensive.  She was immediately connected to equipment that constantly recorded brain activity.  She was seen by the best neonatal neurologists in Boston.  She was prescribed phenobarb which would be tapered off in time.  At the age of one week she was sent home.  She had follow up visits with a neurologist and a neuro visiting nurse who found Joanie meeting  all milestones ahead of schedule.  

Joan is five years old now and in kindergarden.  She has wanted to go to school since she could utter the words.  She is very  creative, draws well and gets her family portraits in perfect perspective.  She wrote her first letter to Santa this year with no input from anybody else.  She takes dance lessons now and is a big Angelina Ballerina fan.  Her grandmother, Guggs gave her swimming lessons and she swims very well.  I have learned so much from this darling precious child, she needs no advice from me.  

Everett Floyd Metcalf is my namesake.  He calls me,”greatgranny’ and I love that.  Once when I was holding him reading a bedtime story before his nap, he was playing with the loose skin I try to ignore that dangles from my chin.  Ev looked at me and said,”greatgranny I love your chin.”  I se my turkey neck in new light now.  His playroom is full of interesting toys, books and creative things.  He has a rocking horse made by his great uncle Peter.  There are safety locks on all the gates and cupboard doors where cleaning chemicals are kept.  Ev has taken apart that lock, not to get into the cupboard but only to explore the complexity of locks.  

Everett’s grandfather, Metcalf plays piano and sings songs from an old songbook.  He knows,”Goodnight Irene,”  and, “I’ve Been Working on the Railroad.”  He sings very well.  He loves to play outdoors in any temperature.  I was visiting once when Ev was two. It was near Halloween and he was eager for me to look out their front window to,”see the pooky goats hanging in the pooky trees.”  Sure enough there were spooky ghosts hanging in the neighbors trees.  He goes hiking in the mountains with his parents and he loves cars.  This year he mae his second gingerbread house and did a very good job.  There is no advice I could give Everett that he might need.  He has everything under control.

Laura Winter Rodriguez was two on October 29th.  Her middle name is Winter because despite her mother being scheduled for a Cesarean section on November 1, Laura decided to arrive during a surprise snowstorm on October 29.  Laura has been making up her own mind about everything ever since.  She is a most expressive child with incredibly expressive ways.  She loves being read to and listens attentively.  She vociferously tells me what story she would like but I don’t always understand her.  We generally come to a compromise.  She likes to play,”Ride a Horse to Boston” and never tires but I do.  She loves to play,  “dress up” and raids Joanie’s closet at will.  She got a cash register for Christmas and she puts it  to use in the Miss Clementine’s Shop in the living room.  She swipes the play credit card like a pro.  We are great friends but when her gran, “Guggs” is present I am summarily dismissed.  She has the unqualified love of the entire family  and I believe she is well aware of that.  I do not believe there is one bit of advice I could give this wee sweet darling who I’m certain could charm a hound dog off a meat wagon.  

Murphy Harriet Metcalf is about to celebrate her second birthday on the first day of February.  She is very wise and keeps up with Everett.  This past October we were all gathered for Anne and Dan’s wedding.  Murphy wore a jade colored hat and coat that Aunt Bobbie in Ottawa, knit for Hillary about thirty years ago.  She made the fashion statement of the day.  At the end of the day her Dad suggested that she get a diaper change and get into pyjamas so she will be ready for bed when they get home.  Murphy responded, “there’s a big poop in there.”  Her report was accurate.  She sings well and in tune.  Her rendition of, “I am a pizza” is wonderful.  Hillary recently sent a video of her running with Everett.  She keeps up and I fully expect that she too will one day run the Boston Marathon as her Mother did a few years ago.  

So  it is more than obvious that these four incredibly remarkable little people are going to grow up and do great things without any input or advice from their great granny.  I want them to only remember that I loved them all to the moon and back.

[jennrypan]

Ok this wont happen but imagine--

During the dumbass wedding-

While its happening. Bens staring out at the crowd, staring at the decorations..just staring. He looks happy, he supposes he feel..happy but then he looks at Mal and he doesnt feel as happy as he should..because hes realizing somethings..missing or something isnt right.

The decorations look too much like Mal, this is suppose to be a union of two people- hes fantasized about his wedding since he was a kid and yeah thinga change but this isnt anything like he thought, he felt like a guest in his own wedding, and he finds himself hesitating.

Theres a lot more he wants to do, yeah his parents got married young and so did almost everyone elses parents in Auradon but why does..he??

He knows he asked her but it feels..strange, because he felt he had to marry her but..hes recalling the events that led to this..he shouldve thought this through, all the problems he had to experience because Mal couldnt..talk it out, because Mal was..selfish, she put her needs before everyones and hes looking out in the crowd again..just a quick glance..

Audreys not there..neither is Uma, Harry or Gil..and he couldnt blame them- they had nothing against him but Mal..they had every right to not wish to attend..to stay away from the event, because even if Mal assumed they would forgive and forget they didnt and he understood why- he wanted so bad to unite everyone but...they had let the major villains in Auradon and all he wanted to do was let in the kids who didnt deserve to suffer for their crimes..sure some villains changed but not all of them, and he tried to explain this..tried to make his concerns known but it was brushed off.

What he wanted was always brushed off by his supposed wife--

So Ben takes a breath..its shakey and hes hesitating again, he looks worried almost as if hes about to be sick and he steps away from the alter as Fairy Godmother begins to speak.

Everyones eyes are on him and hes use to this but for some reason this makes him queasy, makes the pits of his stomach turn, Mals staring at him- visibly confused..everyones confused.

"Ben is something wrong?"

Mal asks, and he just nods.

"I..cant do this." He utters.

And theres surprised gasps from the peanut gallery, shocked murmurs and exclamations.

"What? What do you mean?"

F.G questions and Ben repeats himself..this time firmer,

"I cant do this, I thought I was ready to be married..because thats how we all grew up but..I cant..I dont think Im ready to be king, Im not ready to make decisions that'll just be ignored."

He cant stop that slight tone of bitterness from making its way in his voice..and he sees the way his parents shift..they had been the ones to so readily take Mals side, to turn to her for decision making.

Mals just staring at him as if hes grown two heads.

"Are you under a spell? Ben did Uma-"

She asks and he almost scoffs, almost..the irony wasnt lost on him, but he quickly cuts her off before she could even begin to accuse the young woman that wasnt even here of doing what shes done to him for so long.

"No..Im not under a spell, I can make choices out of the norm without being spelled."

He points out, maybe hes being rude..but hes tired..tired of the expectations and tired of no one ever asking what he thought and how he felt, it was all about Mal and the green and purple of his wedding was a clear sign of that.

Mal had the gall to appear affronted but he continued before he lost the nerve;

"I jumped into this..and I was thinking about this, about us..and we arent good together, I thought we were, I wanted us to be so bad because I loved you, but..I cant tell if that was actually me or just a spell anymore."

Theres more gasps and Mal looks offended,

"I thought you forgave me!"

She exclaims, and he just blinks for minute

"I never said I didnt, look- this right now..All of this! I dont want to do this, I dont want to be forced into something I have no experience in, we're young! Im sorry for all of this..sorry for all the work Evie and Jane put into this..and everyone else, Its very..Mal."

He speaks with a sad smile, and he just steps away, bowing his head- he doesnt know what else to do but he doesnt stick around to be yelled and glared at, the silence is deafening..Ben just leaves.

Goes to be in peace for a while..where no one bothers him..no ones trying to spell him, no ones invalidating his feelings and talking over him..he doesnt realize hes crying until he finds himself wiping away a tear with his sleeve.. All the anxiety finally crashing over him.

He doesnt notice a small group of people slowly approaching him until he feels a gentle hand on his shoulder and he tenses up.

"Hey Ben..its okay."

Evies voice is surprisingly gentle and he quickly snaps his attention towards her-surprised to see her here instead of comforting Mal..though he noticed Jay and Carlos were with her as well..along with Audrey, Uma..Harry and Gil- the sea trio didnt get too close but they were close enough to show they cared and they were in deed worried about him, Audrey gave him a comforting smile which he hesitantly returned.

"What about Mal?"

He asked lowly, even still he was worried about her.

"She stormed off..but I know she'll be fine..we're worried about you now." Evie replies, kneeling down besides him.

"More worried than his parents are."

Uma comments seeming annoyed at Adam and Belles incompetence but Audrey simply nudges her as if to signal now wasnt the time so Uma simply rolls her eyes.

Ben couldnt help but snort at the exchange..decidedly ignoring the jab at his parents..one problem at a time..and he looks back at Evie, then at Carlos and Jay who give him small smiles and without warning Dude wiggled from Carlos grasp, plopping to the floor before immediately walking towards Ben and nuzzling his small head against his arm, tail wagging.

And for once..Ben actually feels at peace..he could tell this wasnt some trick from Mal- they genuinely cared for him..and he found himself sniffling again but this time because he was overwhelming happy.

And they just hug him because he needs to be held and comforted for once with no expectations and no spells.

FIN.

[cxsmicenergy]

runaways

the darkling x reader

summary: after the past months of neglect from your lover after the arrival of the sun summoner you decide to leave during the winter fete.

warnings: just a bit of angst I guess.

--------

you hadn't know how long you had been running but it felt like an eternity since you had been lying in his arms. The tracker you had saved from death was equally as fast at running as you but you could tell the both of you were losing your stamina and quick.

but you had no time to stop your search because if you weren't quick enough in finding the sun summoner Aleksander might just be able to carry through with his plans of expanding the fold.

You had met Aleksander when you were eighteen and you had been the cause of an accident with blasting powder that was in prototype for the war- it would've caused an entire area of the little palace to burn to ashes had inferni's not been present at the moment.

It had taken a while for the both of you to admit to your feeling but in the end it was all worth it.

Until it wasn't.

The arrival of the sun summoner had caused an invisible wall to grow between you two- and the sparks you once felt and the promises he once made all fell into a pit of nothingness.

Which had lead you to where you were now; hiking through the Forrests of Os Kervo with a tracker who was trying to track the sun summoner after you had both escaped the wrath of the Morozova's.

"we must be close" Mal you think his name was muttered.

"pray and tell how do you know we're close " you asked completely frustrated; but in your defence you had been at this for hours and though you were a usually patient person- not having the warmth of your kefta was taking a toll on you.

Mal crouched down to the ground only for his fingers to trace over some foot prints that had been marked in the mud. "these are her foot prints"

"and how exactly would you know these are her footprints tracker." you raised a mocking eyebrow.

Mal winced at the nickname and tone you were using but chose to ignore it. A boyish grin broke out on his face as he jumped up "I don't!" he exclaims like a child on Christmas before running ahead and following the footprints.

You roll your eyes but there was a twitch in your lips almost as if you were attempting to suppress a laugh before running ahead to catch up with him.

and low and behold asleep on a rock with a wool cloak covering her shoulders you had finally found Alina Starkov.

and this time you didn't bother suppressing your laugh of glee.

----------

There were times were Ivan genuinely wanted nothing more than to be a normal boy once again. Running in fields with his brother whilst his mother and father watched from their little home. When he didn't have all this pressure on his shoulders.

But right now he wanted nothing more than to curl up into a ball and die. There was no way he could allow Feydor to give this news to the general at risk of meeting the end of the darkling's cut- but pacing outside of his war room his heart beating out of his cage he wished he had given this task to Feydor.

Hastily knocking on the door a horse "come in" sounded through the door. Ivan opened the door to find the Darkling pacing around the war table with his hair a mess and the sleeves of his kefta were rolled up at the cuffs.

Kirigan narrowed his eyes at the normally stoic heartrender looking everywhere but him.

"is there a reason you've interrupted me Ivan." He queried calmly- but anybody could sense the anger and annoyance radiating off of the general.

Ivan opened and closed his mouth like a fish out of water; attempting to find the right words in his mouth.

Kirigan let out a frustrated breath.

"Ivan, if you have nothing to say leave." he demanded more forcefully.

just as the general began to turn around Ivan managed to get part of what he needed to say out. "She's gone!"

the shadows in the room began to darken even more than they once were.

"Ivan, I already know Miss Starkov-" he exclaimed angrily his temper rising; obviously not expecting this from one of his most trusted men

"y/n she's gone!-" the shadows dissipated and the words seemed to be spewing out with a mind of their own "-the servants you sent to collect her had gone to look for her but there was no sign of y/n- and her chambers well they were completely trashed"

it felt as if a knife had been stabbed into his chest and his heart had been physically split in two. You wouldn't leave him- you had made a promise to each other.

"we can be run aways together" you had told each him.

In an eerily calm voice he turned back around to the heartrender with a stone cold mask.

"and do we have a lead on who the abductors could be?"

Ivan gulped before addressing the heart breaking bit to his Grisha leader. "that's the thing sir there was no sign of struggle so we believe she left on her own accord." he said avoiding all eye contact with the general who looked about ten seconds away from burning down all of Ravka just to find you.

Without wasting a single second Aleksander ran across the palace, ignoring the odd looks his Grisha would send him, and ran straight into your room which as he was told was a mess.

There was clothes thrown about as if you were in a hurry to leave- your purple durast kefta was lazily thrown onto an arm chair and the large window to your room was left wide open from where you had jumped out.

He cursed himself for not noticing the signs sooner. You had been distancing yourself ever since the sun summoners arrival or rather he had been distancing himself. He had put the invisible barrier up-forcing you to run away.

He had been so focused on getting his plan for the fold to work he ended up loosing his sun summoner and his first true lover ever since Luda on the same night.

A letter with your beautiful cursive writing on caught Aleksander's eye and hastily picking it up he carefully opened the seal. Almost reminiscing in what could be his last contact with you.

No. He refused to believe this would be the last he would see of you. Because you were his as he was yours.

Aleksander,

My love I'm sorry Ive had to end things this way- or rather you ended things the way you did. I should've seen the signs earlier on and heeded others warnings about you.

I'm sorry I wasn't good enough for you and I understand why I never was the one- for there's truly no point in watering a dead flower when you have a new and beautiful one sprouting that shines like the sun.

Maybe in another life we can be runaways together.

Love from,

Y/N

and for the first time in decades the darkling broke down- for you had been his rock who had stood by him through everything.

-----

read part two here

[descendantofthesparrow]

Regained Passion - Harry Hook x Reader - Part 4 - How long has it been?

(Part 4! after so long im sorry~!!! but we getting to the good stuff now~)

=

Chad glared across the cafeteria at his sister and Hook, the two had been hanging out more and more as the weeks went on, picking up each other from dance class or regular class, eating meals together, spending time in each other's dorm rooms before curfew, whispering to each other and laughing.

Chad knew his sister was being corrupted by the pirate and his filthy vk friends, he had let this go on for far too long, he had to save his sister before it was too late. “What are you glaring at?” Audrey asked as she sat across from Chad, picking up a fork and starting to stab at her salad.

“That filthy pirates corrupting my sister” Chad grumbled, turning in his seat to face Audrey, who looked a little disturbed. “Oh don’t tell me you don’t see it, look at him!” Chad turned again, pointing at Harry, who was leaning on his hand smiling at you as you talked about some random thing. “He’s corrupting her! He’s up to something I know it, he’s gonna use her to get the wand or something”

Audrey tilted in her seat, raising her brow as Harry laughed, very genuinely might she add, and hiked his leg up onto the bench, your back now resting against his knee. “Oh yes,” Audrey said in a sarcastic tone “I can just see the evil intent radiating off of him, look that that he’s manipulating her right in front of us!” Audrey held down her laughter as Harry gently took your switch from you and started to play whatever game it was, tilting his body to allow you to see the screen as he did.

“I’m glad you see things my way” Audrey slumped in her seat and facepalmed, Chad didn’t see her reaction and continued to glare at Harry. “I have to make (y/n) see reason, that pirate is only going to use her”

“Chad” Audrey started sternly, narrowing her eyes as Chad turned to her with wide eyes “Harry isn’t planning anything, they-the pirates- have been here for several months now. If they were planning something they probably would have already done it. It took Mal and the others only a day to try to get the wand, and it's been almost half a year since their arrival and nothing happened. You need to let go of-” Audrey waved her hand in front of Chad’s face “-whatever this is against the vks, I know it sounds so hypocritical coming from me but you are taking it way too far Chad, you know why the vks ended up going with their plan, we pushed them. I don’t want you to push Harry into doing anything dangerous, or your sister away from you. Both you and I know if you continue this (y/n) won't like it.” Chad stared at Audrey for a few moments, and Audrey hoped that she had gotten through to him.

“hmpf” Chad grumped, slumping in his seat and crossing his arms, leaving the matter alone for now.

“Thank you” Audrey breathed in relief, hopefully, Chad would drop it but knowing him, he would be back on this bullshit the next day. Chad turned to look over his shoulder, gritting his teeth as Harry leaned closer to you, your faces oh so close together as you watched Harry play the game.

-

You yelped as you were suddenly pulled into an empty classroom as you were heading out for dance class, huffing as you came face to face with Chad “what do you want?” you asked annoyed, pulling out your phone and checking the time, you had about 15 minutes before class started.

“stop hanging around that pirate and his friends, they’re gonna turn you evil or something I can tell” you stared blankly at Chad as he stared back at you, completely serious.

“oh my god you’re serious aren’t you?” you rolled your eyes, rubbing your face in frustration “listen Chad, I don’t know what you got against the vks, but I don’t give one fuck about it, they aren’t their parents, and it's honestly hypocritical when you say stuff like that” Chad looked offended at that “how do you think Mom would react to your very obvious hatred against the vks? you know how she raised us, she never hated her stepmom or sisters and they abused her for years, why should we hate kids who haven’t even done anything to us?! Try this crap again on me and I’m telling mom” Chad gasped and held his hand to his chest, taking a step back.

“You wouldn't.” You glared back, pulling out your phone and hovering your thumb over your mother’s contact.

“I would! Now leave it, I’m not going to stop hanging out with Harry just because you can't get over your personal crap.” You turned on your heel and stormed out of the classroom, almost running as you left campus to get to the studio.

Chad clicked his jaw in anger, he would get the corrupt pirate away from you if it was the last thing he did.

-

Harry yelped as he was suddenly pulled aside, looking down to see the pastel pink and blue head of Princess Audrey, holding his arm and dragging him down the hallways towards the exit "A-Audrey?” Harry asked, stumbling a bit as she went through the doors and down the steps still holding onto him “what are yeh doin’?”

“Chad’s planning something” she hushed, speed walking towards the studio “he has this grudge against you for some dumb reason and is planning to attempt to pull (y/n) away from you so just be on the lookout for things that might screw with her perception of you, okay? Okay. Have a good lesson Harry” she left Harry standing in front of the studio completely confused, his hands in the air as he stared at her.

“fuckin WHAT?!” Harry yelled, throwing his hands into the air and sighing, princesses’ they never made sense. He stomped into the studio and passed by your class, waving at the girls who surrounded you that smiled at him politely and elbowed you teasingly as you grinned at him.

He walked into his class and changed out his shoes, taking off his hoodie and starting to stretch as his classmates mingled and did the same. Soon Bert entered the room with two armfuls of bamboo sticks “g’mornin class!” the class eagerly greeted him back, including Harry as he had warmed up to the dance teacher in the last few months “today, we continue our practice for the spring performance, with the ol’ bamboos!” he tossed a long stick to each of his students, Harry catching one and twirling it like a staff. “today we start learning the choreo for the bamboo half, and starting tryouts for the lead.”

Harry zoned out at that point, numbly yet energetically going along with what Bert showed them, picking up the steps quite quickly compared to the rest of the class, but he had always been quick to pick physical routines up, such as sword fighting and Uma's old ‘what’s my name’ dance.

Soon the two hours of class were up and everyone was packing their things and heading out, Harry staying behind for a moment to see if you had beaten him to the punch, but after those moments and no (y/n), he finished packing up and made his way across the hall, leaning against the wall waiting for your class to finish. But after 10 minutes and no one coming out, he peeked inside, raising his brow as he only saw you, dancing along to the music.

“hey,” he announced his intrusion, you didn’t falter at his sudden voice and he walked across the room to sit down in front of you. you slowed down with the end of the music, posing as if you were with a partner, and smiled at him breathlessly “didn’t yeh have class today?” you nodded, walking over to your bag and grabbing a towel and water.

“Yeah, they all already left, I’m trying to perfect the piece.” Harry rose his brow, watching you intently as you walked over to him and sat down beside him.

“but the performance isn't fer another” Harry checked his phone calendar “six months, yeh got the time?” you just hummed and shrugged.

“what can I say im a perfectionist” you muttered, sipping at your ice-cold water and leaning against Harry’s side, your phone that was connected to the blue-tooth room speakers moving onto a random song, some sort of ballad but you were paying more attention to Harry’s comforting warmth that was seeping into you.

Harry chuckled “fer a perfectionist, yeh let a lot of things go imperfect” he took your head and nodded at your nails, the light blue sparkles chipping and then he nodded at your bag, a mess of pins and paint.

“perfectionist for dancing dork” you slapped his hand away, already missing the feeling “I just-if I don’t get this right, i…I don’t know” Harry frowned, the mood had suddenly dipped and Harry could feel the bubbling sadness.

“But I've heard yer friends say yer the best dancer in this whole school, hell I think I heard Esméralda say ya already perfected it so why?” you sighed, squishing your check into Harry's hoodie.

“I can't convey the emotions I need into the dance, so it's not perfect. I can do the steps not…not the rest.” You sighed again, closing your eyes “the dance is supposed to be a duet, Esméralda hasn’t found someone to dance with me so I've been doing it alone for a bit but-it’s supposed to convey two falling in love” Harry felt his cheeks flush at that but he couldn't explain why “and…I've never been in love with anybody before…I've just-…never felt that kinda connection.” You groaned, sliding down into Harry's lap as he lifted his arm and cupped your face “and if I don’t convey it, Esméralda is going to replace me and-and I feel like if I do, I’ll be failing them” Harry raised his brow at that.

“them? Them who?” Harry asked gently, if someone was going to be mad at you for this simple thing, he was going to hook them.

“…I don’t know” you muttered, reaching up and clinging to Harry’s arm “me? My parents? Esméralda? I really don’t, I just-…I feel like a failure for not falling in love” Harry frowned “Es- Esméralda also said I have no passion which, I do! I love dancing, it’s been my dream since I was a little kid but…she says there's no spark, no fun in it” you muttered, Harry staring down at you with sad eyes. Then he looked at your phone, still playing the ballad; he had an idea.

“how long ‘as it been since yeh danced fer fun?” Harry asked, gently lifting you up out of his lap and jumping to his feet, jogging over to your phone and quickly pulling up YouTube.

You tilted your head at him as ‘shut up and dance’ started to play, Harry jumping around a bit to get himself hyped before spinning around to face you with a playful grin “what are you doing?” you laughed, wiping away the tears that had started to bubble up, Harry shimmied his shoulders as he walked towards you with his hands out.

“I asked yeh a question!” Harry sniggered, grabbing your hands and pulling you up, dragging you out to the middle of the room and tugging your hands back and forth as he forced you to dance with him “when was the last time yeh danced fer fun?”

You went to answer, only to pause…you didn’t know “well today’s tha’ day then” Harry grinned mischievously, pulling you into a spin as he used your weight to do so, his eyes wide with delight as you started to laugh. The two of you started to dance, no particular way in mind, just…dancing. No choreography or meaning, just dancing; jumping, spinning, swing dancing, quickstep, whatever came to mind that fit best with the tempo.

Esméralda came back into the room, her head down as she looked in her bag. She had forgotten her wallet in the room and hadn’t expected to find her best dancer just, dancing willy nilly, with no care in the world and full of passion. She stared in slight shock; she hadn’t seen you just -dance- in years! A smile grew on her face, and Harry Hook had been the one to bring that- passion- back out in you…she had found your partner for the duet.

She discretely got her wallet and walked out of the room, the two of you not noticing her as you were lost in your own world. You scream laughed as Harry picked you up and started to spin around, your legs curling up to your chest as he did so. Harry slowed down and dropped you back to your feet, taking your hand and pulling you towards him as you spun around once more. You dipped yourself, relying on Harry to keep you off the floor as he pulled you back and the two of you jumped around each other, pulling and pushing on each other's hands as you both laughed; the music echoing loudly around you.

As the song ended, Harry pulled you into him, your arms flying around his neck as he held your waist, hugging you tightly as you laughed into his ear, his face tucked securely between your neck and shoulder. After a few moments of muffled laughter, you pulled back, cupping Harry's face as he grinned down at you, his face flushed from his actions.

“thank you” you whispered, you hadn’t felt like that when dancing in years, just having fun with it instead of trying to make every bit perfect “thank you” Harry kissed the top of your head, pulling you back into a strong hug.

“yer welcome Princess”

-

Chad bit his thumb as the very next day, you and Harry had somehow gotten ever closer, sitting shoulder to shoulder, sometimes your legs tossed over his lap and staring into each other eyes. He had to get rid of this damn pirate soon.

-

Harry, the night of the day when he had danced with you, lay awake in bed, staring up at the ceiling with a goofy smile on his face. As he had danced with you, he had finally put a word to the feelings he got when around you; the butterflies, the way his mind was filled with nothing but fuzzy thoughts about you, the fuzzy feeling in his chest, the quick beat of his heart when he kissed the top of your head, the spark that ran through him when he touched your skin.

He was in love; he was in love with (y/n) Charming. He covered his face and bit his lip as his face turned red, muffing his love-induced laughter as not to disturb the sleeping Gil.

He was in love with you and he didn’t have a damn problem with it.

-end of part 4-

permtaglist~!

@queer-cosette @sephiralorange @lunanight2012

@daughter-of-the-stars11 @musicarose @rintheemolion

@random-thoughts-003 @imtryingthisout @remembered-license

@thecaptainsgingersnap @jatp-rules-my-life​ @verboetoperee​

@saryguerrero​

[ratsoh-writes]

GASP heyyy good job completing the last set! So y’know how the guys turning into baby bones is a thing? Well, what if that happened to their SO? They now have to deal with a tiny cute version of their SO for like. 12-24 hours.

Just the main ten but if you could add wine and mutt in somewhere, I’d really appreciate it!!

Will do ;)

And this is under the assumption that they know it only lasts 24 hours

Sans: well this is definitely awkward. Human babies are a lot more needy than monster babies. They have diapers, need to be fed twice as much, and they spit up all the time. Sans will have a bit of a learning curve but he figures it out fairly quickly. When SO shifts back, they’ll find a huge “baby and me” scrapbook

Papyrus: he quickly learns that baby SO is happiest when near him, so obviously that means papyrus has them strapped to his chest the whole day. He’ll be chatting to baby SO just like normal too lol. And they gurgle and coo back. It’s cute as all heck

Star: he can’t help himself. He takes the day off, and takes baby SO with him on this super long hard hike that normal SO wouldn’t do with him. Since Star is unrestricted with just a few extra pounds strapped to his chest, he clears the hike in record time. He’ll show SO the pictures too when they shift back. He rubs it in a little saying he knew they could do it lol

Honey: he goes f*cking ham man. Honey has always known he wanted a kid, and having a baby for a day just cemented it. He even enjoyed getting woken up four times in the night because he got to see SOs smiling baby face each time. When SO comes back, honey will already have the name of their first born kid picked out lol

Red: he kinda just goes into work mode. Edge was a very active and troublesome baby, so red expects SO to be the same. But SO is like the easiest baby ever. It actually makes red think about wanting kids.

Edge: he’s a stressed out mess, and edge even swallows his pride and asks red to help teach him what to do. Edge can take any amount of teasing if it means his SO stays healthy. Luckily this is only for a day

Mal: baby SO has spit up on him no less than four times already. Mals whole day is basically spent counting down the minutes.

Cash: he also calls up his brother for help. Cash is a lot less stressed then edge is, but he has no experience with babies whatsoever. The only thing this dude knows is to support the head when you hold them.

Oak: he does a good job at keeping baby SO entertained for the day. Willow pops in occasionally, but oak seems to have it handled. Phone timer do wonders for getting bottle times down

Willow: baby SO is living the dream. There’s hardly even a peep of crying. They’re too caught up in experience the world from eight feet up. Willow is just relived they like being held so much

Mutt: he’s also never taken care of a baby before, but mutts a pretty independent dude who doesn’t need no brother. It took him four tries to get the dang diaper on right. Why are babies so wiggly??

Wine: he’d very much rather keep this on the down low, so wine takes the day off from work to focus on SO. Him and baby SO have a relaxing shut in day where they watch history channel and wine let’s them indulge in apple sauce. Since this is only 24 hours, he’s not too worried about them

[doberbutts]

If you don’t mind answering (and maybe you have I just didn’t see it oops) When you are looking for breeders, what do you look for? Meaning, how do *you* decide they are the one you’ll get your puppy from?

I’ve always adopted from the pound or kind of just ended up with my dogs and once I’m settled somewhere I’d like to get a puppy from a breeder. I’ve done my looking around research wise, I just like to ask individuals with experience as well.

I try to find people producing dogs that are more or less what I want to have. For some this looks different than for others so I'll sort of break things down a bit for that:

When looking for dobes or dutch shepherds (or cross bred bitey things like when I was considering the mal/whippets) I am looking for people who do approximately the same sports or similar with their dogs. That means that since I am looking for my next bitey to be a mondio dog, I value people who are competing in mondio more highly than those who aren't. I value people who are competing in other bitesports more highly than people who aren't. And I value people who are competing in sports at all more highly than people who aren't.

From there, I want someone who agrees with me on some boundaries with their bitey dogs because I find a lot of people producing otherwise nice dogs to have on the field are not producing nice dogs to have in the home. I want a dog that I can have fun with in sport, yes, but ultimately I will also be doing things like hiking with that dog and training in other venues and likely even in public/dog-allowed areas so a dog that is not fun to take to these places is not a dog I want. A doberman was intended to be a personal protection dog, it does not need to love everyone. But it was also intended to walk down a busy German street with no leash and not be an absolute menace biting the shit at anyone that moved, because it'd be a pretty shit protection dog if it was too busy harassing Leetle German Boy With Oversized Lollipop to respond to its owner's call.

When looking for my chihuahuas, I was looking for someone who cares more about health and longevity than anything else. A breeder who shows, sure, but the health testing and understanding of genetics was a higher priority. And I wanted someone who actually did stuff with their dogs- didn't have to be titles, even just attending fun events or hosting them on their property meant the dogs could go out in public and have fun doing so.

When looking for a swissy, I was looking again for someone who worked their dogs while caring a lot about health and longevity. Someone whose dogs could do a variety of jobs, someone whose dogs were good to have out in high stress/high stakes environments without really missing a beat, someone whose dogs were easygoing and laidback.

When looking for the future border, whenever that will be, I look for people who are producing dogs that are achieving what I want to be or higher with regularity. I don't care if they only produce one. I want several. When the time comes I will comb through the list I've procured for health testing and longevity, but for right now I am no where near time so I'm not even worried about it.

For all of those, because a breeder is a 10+ year relationship whether you like it or not, I also do peep their social media to see if they are the type of person I want to be casually hanging out with. Dobes have a huge nazi problem and that is not even an exaggeration. Chihuahuas are full of nasty racist elderly white women. I don't want to deal with these people and I don't want to be involved with these people. So if I get a hint of that, I'm out.

If I have multiples left on my list by then, I go down the line from "dogs I genuinely like the look of" or "dogs I've met or from pedigrees I've met" to "otherwise unknowns". I had three breeders in mind when I bumped into Sushi's breeder at a show and Sushi's breeder also happened to be at the top of my list. I contacted one of the others for backup but they never got back to me and I never followed up.

[uswntfics]

CATastrophe (Becky Sauerbrunn x Reader)

A/N: Hey y’all, hope you enjoyed this one I randomly wrote it a while ago. As always requests are always welcome.

Y/N shoved her hands into her pockets as she slowly walked along the sidewalk, enjoying the cool air and looking at all of the Christmas lights happily lit up on so many of the houses as she passed. It was still surreal to her that she finally got to take her dream road trip around the U.S.

She had a break from her job as an athletic trainer for Stanford University's women's soccer team before preseason started after also helping out a few WPSL teams over the summer as well. However it was still weird for her to be alone for the Holidays. Ever since she had come out things hadn’t been the same with her family.

She sighed and continued up the path toward the hiking trails. It was beautiful here in Denver but she couldn’t help but wish for something more. She was about to turn around and head back to her car when she heard a sound coming from the brush on her left.

“Hello?” she called, unsure, but she made sure to be ready to run if she needed to. She then heard a pitiful sound from a scared or injured animal.

She knew she probably wasn’t being the smartest but she stepped toward the brush slowly, hoping not to alarm the animal.

“I’m not going to hurt you.” she said in a soothing voice, parting the brush to see a dirty and travel worn cat looking up at her with scared eyes, “Aww hi little one, are you lost?” She cooed, slowly putting out her hand for the cat to sniff her hand.

The little cat must have decided she was okay because it wove closer and brushed it’s head against her leg making Y/N chuckle and scratch it's small head. Beneath the dirt and small scratches it looks like the cat was tabby with some white. Y/N took off her hoodie and wrapped the small cat in it, the cat just meowing and snuggling into the sweater.

Y/N smiled and saw that the cat was wearing a collar with a tag. However the tag was pretty cached with dry mud, so it was impossible to read at this point. "Well let's clean you up at the hotel and call your family. I'm sure they miss you." The cat purred as Y/N scratched under its chin.

Luckily it didn't take too long to make it to the car. Y/N rifled through the trunk of her car, doing a mental victory dance when she saw an old box for her boots which should be the perfect size.

She set the cat that was still all wrapped up in her hoodie, into the box. the cat merely meowed, but it seemed to sense it was safe because it curled up in the box and shut its eyes. Y/N couldn’t help but smile as she carefully shut the door to the backseat and crawled into the driver’s seat and started the car.

The 15 minute drive back to the hotel was uneventful. Y/N checked and made sure the cat was still asleep. When she saw that it was, she carefully lifted it up and found a duffle bag in her trunk, carefully setting the box with the sleeping cat in it, not zipping the top, just setting an extra jacket over part of the opening so that nobody could tell she was smuggling in a cat.

Y/N breathed a sigh of relief when nobody stopped her once she got into her room and shut the door. She carefully set the bag down and started to run the bath so that the water would warm up. she got a few towels ready and then went and grabbed the now half awake cat.

‘Meow!” The cat scolded her as she picked her up and walked toward the sound of the water. “I know little one, I know. But we have to get you and your tag all cleaned up so we can find your family. “ Y/N said softly she laughed as she swore the cat rolled it’s eyes at her.

Y/N grabbed one of the flimsy plastic cups that had been left in the room and set the cat down in the back of the tub. She filled up the cup and gently held the cat in place as she poured the warm water over the cat. “REEEEOOOOWW!” The cat screeched, slightly panicked. “Oh I know honey, I know but we need to get you nice and clean." The cat, who Y/N figured out is a girl calmed down as Y/N soothingly rubbed shampoo into her fur and then rinsed her off, making sure to pay special attention to her collar and tag.

“Missy huh, that name fits you baby girl.” Y/N said as she gently wrapped Missy in a towel and gently dried her off. Once Missy was dry enough Y/N set her so that Missy’s head was laying against her leg as she grabbed her phone and typed in the number from Missy’s collar. She hit the call button and hoped for the best, absentmindedly stroking Missy’s fur.

Kelley O’Hara sighed as she watched her roommate Becky Sauerbrunn stare into space again. Becky hadn’t been the same since her cat Missy had accidentally got out of their apartment in Salt Lake City a week before they had to leave for USWNT Camp. It would be 2 weeks ago today and they haven’t heard or seen anything.

Kelley felt terrible. She had been the one to hold the door for a second to grab the water bottle that she had dropped in the doorway as Becky waited for her in the car to leave for training. Missy was too quick for her to catch..

Their whole Royals team had helped them search for the week, as well as Ashlyn, Ali, and Alex since they had the week off before the camp but they weren’t able to find her. Becky had been even more quiet than normal and it made the whole team feel terrible. Kelley was about to try to make a joke to try to cheer Becky up again when there was a knocking at the door. Kelley sighed when Becky didn’t even look up toward the door.

Kelley opened the door and smiled sadly at her teammates. “Team bonding tonight. What would you like to do Broon?” Alex asked.

Becky just shrugged and sighed, “I’m sorry I’m bringing everyone down but Missy is my baby, and now I don’t know..” Becky sighed at the thought.

“Hey, first of all don’t apologize, we all understand, and second of all I have faith Missy is okay. We’ll help you find her,” Christen said, squeezing Becky’s arm. They decided to play a trivia game since that’s one of Becky’s favorites. Sonnet was floundering for her team of herself, Lindsey, Mal and Sam when She was saved by the bell, or the ring of Becky’s phone.

Ali grabbed it off the nightstand to hand to Becky. “It’s an unknown number.” Becky frowned but answered the phone.

“Hello?” Becky said.

“Hey, this is going to sound really weird but are you Missy’s owner? I found a cat with tabby markings and a white belly and this was the number I found on her tag.”

Becky froze. “What really?! Yes this is her! Where did you find her?!” Becky asked,a huge grin forming on her face. It shouldn’t be too far, one of her teammates could maybe pick her up after training.

“I actually found her on a trail in Denver. She’s all clean and ready to come home!”

“What all the way in Denver?!” Becky was shocked, she could barely wake the girl from a nap and she had somehow ended up hundreds of miles away?!

"Yeah, I'm guessing she had a long journey.." Y/N observed as she scratched Missy's head.

"Yeah we live in Salt Lake City. But I'm in Carson right now and I don't know if I have anyone who could get her soon…” Becky worried.

“well I’m on a road trip right now anyway, I can drive her down if that’s okay.” Becky was shocked. Thanksgiving was in a few days and a complete stranger was offering to drive her cat over 16 hours??

"Are you sure? I don't want to put you out at all." Becky said.

"Of course, it's not a problem at all. We'll leave tomorrow. Is it okay if I text you updates?"

"Of course, and I can't thank you enough! I'll text you the hotel address too! Thank you so much.." Becky trailed off.

"Y/N." Y/N finished

"Well Y/N I'm Becky and I can't thank you enough."

Y/N smiled as she could tell how much this Becky cared about Missy.

"No problem I'll see you soon Becky." Y/N said and hung up. She got a text shortly after from this Becky. After getting ready for bed Y/N chuckled as Missy curled up on her chest. Y/N decided to snap a picture so Becky could see Missy was safe and sweet as ever.

"What was that Broon did someone finally find her?!” Kelley squealed

Becky chuckled and nodded excitedly “Yes! You’ll never believe where she was found!”

“Where Becks?” Christen asked.

“Denver! I mean she is literally the laziest cat ever but she travels hundreds of miles?!””

The team cracked up “Wait if she’s in Denver how are you getting her back?” Tobin asked.

“The girl who found her, Y/N offered to drive her down here to return her.” Becky grinned, she couldn’t be more grateful.

“Damn Broon, you haven’t even met the girl and she’s already willing to drive 16hrs for you! I say go for it!” Pinoe yells, causing Kelley, Sonnett and the youngins to laugh and Christen to smack the back of Pinoe’s head as Becky blushes.

Before Becker could say anything her phone dinged with a text. Becky opened the text and nearly swooned. There was simply a picture of Missy perfectly safe snuggled up and asleep on Y’N’s chest.

Becky was so happy to finally see Missy but She couldn’t take her eyes off the most gorgeous woman she has ever seen.

Her dark hair framed her face perfectly, her hazel eyes so amazingly intriguing to Becky.

She was snapped out of it when Ashlyn let out a whistle “Damn Broon she’s hot and seems to love animals as much as you do! I second Pinoe’s idea!” Ashlyn called as Ali smacked her arm and Becky realized that the team had crowded around her phone to look when she had been staring at the picture.

“Okay leave her alone.” Alyssa spoke up, glaring at the team, causing most of them to scatter.

“Thanks.” Becky said quietly to her best friend on the team, trying to will away her blush.

“They’re not wrong though you know, she should get here right around Thanksgiving Day. Why don’t you invite her to the team Thanksgiving party/dinner. If anything you’ll get another good friend.” Alyssa said calmly, just wanting her friend to be happy.

Becky shrugged as she considered her friend’s advice, it couldn’t hurt anything.

Before she could change her mind she texted the new contact in her phone, inviting Y/N to the team’s dinner.

Y/N texted her acceptance after Becky assured her that she wouldn’t be a bother.

Becky smiled at the message, she wouldn’t admit it to anyone except for maybe Alyssa, Christen and Ali but she was excited to meet the gorgeous woman who had saved Missy. Who knows maybe this whole CATastrophe could end well after all.