#and makes you look at the hairball he fished out of the drain

[zushimart]

washing dishes is beneath him (he gets the ick so bad he almost throws up from touching dirty, wet plates)

[werepuppy-steve]

steddie dads | wc: 669 | cw: none

Steve pauses outside the bathroom in the downstairs hallway, basket of dirty laundry tucked under his arm. The door is shut, which isn’t weird, but he can hear little splashes on the other side of it and what sounds like plastic bottles being dropped on the counter. Steve presses his ear to the wood and the whispered muttering tells him all he needs to know.

He needs to get these clothes in the washer first, so he takes the basket down to the laundry room before coming back to the bathroom. He doesn’t bother knocking, if he does, it’ll just make room for a hurried clean up. He turns the knob as quietly as he can (it’s not locked, thank God) but as soon as he opens the door, he’s hit in the face with a smell that makes his nose burn and his eyes water. Emma stands on her princess step stool in front of the sink, completely oblivious to him standing there.

The sink that’s filled with blue soapy water and smells like a Hollister store exploded.

Steve crosses his arms and leans against the doorway as Emma stays concentrated on whatever concoction she’s making, muttering under her breath in a way that undeniably makes her Eddie’s child. “What’cha doin’ there, Emmylou?”

Emma jumps and the bottle of lotion she slips out of her little hands and clatters on the tile. Her brown eyes wide as saucers and her mouth puckered in a tiny ‘o’ shape. It makes her look like an adorable fish and Steve has to clear his throat to stifle his laughter.

“Looks like an awful big mess in here.”

“I’m making potion.”

Steve raises an eyebrow. “Potion?”

“Mhm.” Emma nods, her curls, identical to Eddie’s, bouncing. “I’m a witch.”

Steve takes stock of the multiple bottles covering the counter; shampoo, conditioner, sunscreen, his and Eddie’s (expensive) cologne, lotion. You name it, it’s probably been poured in the sink. Briefly, Steve wonders if he’ll have to get underneath and unclog the drain. They’re definitely going over budget on groceries next week to replace everything.

Still, Steve can’t bring himself to actually be mad at her for being a kid and having an active imagination. He steps into the room and tries not to cough from the fumes wafting from the hot water. Christ, he’s gotta get Emma out of here and into fresh air.

“Well, Miss Witch, what do you say we clean all of this up and you can use those potion making still to help me make dinner? Dad’s gonna be home soon.”

At the mention of Eddie, Emma gasps and quickly scrambles off the step stool, but Steve is quicker. He catches her under the arms and puts her right back where she was.

“Not so fast, little lady,” he says, his hands on his hips. He will not be swayed by the pout his daughter is giving him. The very same pout that makes him cave to every ridiculous idea Eddie has ever had. He has to be stern. “What are the rules about messes?”

Emma lets out the biggest sigh her tiny body is capable of. “If you do the crime, you gotta do the time,” she mumbles.

Steve bends to press a kiss to the top of her head. “Smart girl. Go grab a towel and clean up the water, please. I’ll take care of the bottles.”

Ten minutes later, the sink is drained and cleaned and the bottles are thrown away, but the smell has permeated the room completely. Figuring out what to do about it is a job for later-Steve, so he shuts the door and gets Emma upstairs for her own bath before they start on dinner.

When Eddie comes home from the studio, he dips into the bathroom and Steve doesn’t bother holding back his laughs when Eddie drops to the floor and crawls back out, coughing like he’s a cat with a hairball.

“Jesus Christ, who made fucking anthrax in the bathroom?!”

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[dontdowhatisayandnobodygetshurt]

just a very tipsy bit of June and Dante bonding because idk if it’s clear how much I fucking love their relationship :’) look, it’s something actually sfw this time!! :D :D :D

“Dante...” June’s voice was only vaguely slurred, in the way of one well in practice being inebriated. “Fuck, marry, kill-”

“Kill.”

“That’s not how it goes!”

“Myself. I haven’t been this bored since the Signs movie night.”

“Shut up, play the stupid fucking game. It’s better than sitting here.”

Dante rolled his eyes, admiring the way the whole room wavered as he did so. “Okay. Who?”

“Beethoven-”

“How old do you think I am?”

June narrowed their eyes. After one long moment, they obviously decided thinking in this state was too much work, so they just shrugged their narrow shoulders with a noncommittal grunt.

“Nice to know you care so much,” Dante grumbled. “One hundred and sixty three this year. Now you know.”

June made a noise half way between a cat coughing up a hairball, a snicker, and a giggle. Dante decided hazily to call it a snicker; he liked his head attached to his neck. “You’ve aged well,” they managed to get out after a moment.

“Wish I could say the same,” Dante said pleasantly.

“Oh, fuck off. The amount of times I get mistaken for a fucking prepubescent-”

“Until they see your face.” Dante laughed, a bit too loud for the enclosed space. He remembered the poor mortal woman the other day, who had asked June where “her” parents were, until June had turned around with their face of cutting sharp angles and ire and the woman had almost fainted on the spot. 

“Fuck off,” June repeated darkly. They drained their wine glass for the....... 14th time tonight? Dante looked at the multitude of empty bottles on the floor. They’d gone through five. Six? Given it took two to get a single demon tipsy, it wasn’t that bad. That.

Dante couldn’t remember the last time he’d let himself go this far. A bit of a buzz, yeah. Not the-world-looking-vaguely-alive-and-also-kind-of-sparkly-in-a-way gone. He had responsibilities. People to look after. A reputation to uphold. But now Jesse and Vrox were safely in Hell, the rest of the pack, too. No strays running around causing trouble. A night of peace. Weight off his shoulders. It was... nice.

“Funny,” he said.

“What’s?” June didn’t look up from their wine glass, tilting it so the remaining drops glinted like rubies in the dull light through the windows.

“Think I’ve forgotten how to relax,” he admitted.

“Doesn’t fucking surprise me. You’re not a soldier anymore, Dante. I don’t think you’ve got that through your thick skull yet.”

“Yeah, and who’s fault is that?”

“You almost got yourself killed-”

“Aw, you do care.”

“- and left me with ruling over the Kennels, alone? Get fucked. Never happening. I will drag you out of a warzone myself.”

“You did. Literally. Drag me”

“Damn fucking right I did.” June tossed their glass aside - getting a few flecks of darker red on the couch - and grabbed the remaining bottle, forgoing the glassful now in favour of drinking straight from the bottle.

“Do you know what it feels like to be hellgated when you’re not ready to be hellgated?”

“Y-”

“It’s not a great feeling.”

“What are you, an infant?” 

Dante snorted. “A one hundred and sixty three year old infant...”

“Alric,” they both said at the same time, which caused a chorus of uninhibited laughter, even and especially if the subject matter involved a 13 year old hellhound who died via cult and who now routinely ate people.

“You know what?” June said suddenly, breaking off their laughter. “Are you ready now?”

Dante struggled to remember what they’d just been talking about. “What?” he said, a bit apologetically.

“Useless.” June flicked wine in his general direction, missing by a few metres and splattering more red on the carpet. Their lounge was beginning to look like a sweet-sour crime scene. “Are you ready to be hellgated?”

“Not... really...”

“Fantastic!”

Before he could process the level of sarcasm dripping off that one word, June had sprung up, staggered only a little to find their balance, grabbed his hand and dragged him forward - into pure darkness.

Dante didn’t like hellgating. Having to do it every day for one hundred and thirty four years straight didn’t make him any fonder of it. It reminded him of dying all over again, all sensation except a faint sense of consciousness flooding away - because that was exactly what was happening. At the end, his physical self re-formed around his consciousness - or what was left of his soul, he didn't know. He was grateful for one thing, and that was that he was a demon. This was natural to him. If he was mortal... well, it would take a lot of skill and care from whatever demon was with him to re-form him afterward. And while June was definitely skilled, they were always running a little low on care.

The moment in the consuming, absolute darkness could have lasted a second or a year for all Dante knew, but when it did end, it gave way to a hillside dotted with a few flowering weeds, sloping into a pine forest. The cold air instantly shocked more alertness into Dante’s brain.

What was more surprising than the sudden change of scenery, or that June had willingly elected to go outside, was that Dante recognized it. 

“Is this-?”

“Where we first met?” June was fastidiously adjusting the cuffs of their dress shirt. Their waistcoat was also decidedly slanted. “Yes.”

Alarm show down Dante’s spine. “June, are you - okay? Being here? I know-”

“Don’t you fucking dare try and mother me, Diệu,” June said through clenched teeth, without even looking at him.

Dante winced. “Don’t call me that, chết tiệt. That name is dead.”

“Like the rest of the past, yes? I’m fine.”

“Alright, alright.” He held up his hands as a peace offering and looked around. He could see glimpsed flecks of buttery yellow lights between the trees below, a few brave fireflies spiraled out into the open. One seemed to like June’s shiny dark hair, following them as they sank down onto the grass. He hesitated, but followed suit.

“Did I ever thank you for that?” June asked.

He glanced at them. They still weren’t looking at him, instead staring into the fringe of dark trees.

“No,” he said truthfully. He had never expected, wanted, or received any gratitude from them.

“Good.”

Dante smiled and leaned into them playfully, making them hiss and swipe at him with their nails, the blow going wide. Not on purpose. Absolutely not.

“How much do you remember?” he asked.

For once, they didn’t comment on his gentle tone. Their eyes grew a bit distant, lost in the past that was not as far gone as either of them liked to admit.

“Not very much, after...”

They didn’t finish. They didn’t have to.

Dante shrugged off his jacket. It was made of heavy, thick, green fabric, leftover from the Vietnam war. It was one of the few he hadn’t participated in, but the jacket had belonged to a friend of his who didn’t need it anymore. He started to drape it over June, but they recoiled with a hiss.

“Don’t be a jerk,” Dante said impatiently. “You’re shivering. Take it.” He wrapped it around them none too gently, clamping it shut with his hands for a moment so they didn’t try to shake it off.

June’s frosty stare turned into a glare, and Dante couldn’t help but start laughing: they were so small and the jacket was so big it was like a tent on them, and with just their face poking out from the collar, they looked like that alien from the movie Jesse liked... E.T. But angrier.

“Get,” June said, very delicately, “your hands off me.”

Dante obliged, and his guess proved right, as after their initial hate mode wore off, June kept the jacket on, though they did pull it down off their head and put their arms in so they looked more respectable.

“Are you happy now, mother?” June grumbled.

“Much,” Dante said with a smile, reaching over to ruffle up their hair. The firefly spiraled wildly away, and this time, June’s swipe connected. He didn’t mind.

“I don’t know why I interact with you,” June sad, still grumbling, as they fished their cigarette packet out of their pocket. Dante frowned at it, but June pointedly ignored him. “Got a light?”

“No.”

“Dante,” June said, mock-patient tone undermined by their snapping fingers. “I know you always carry a lighter. Give it to me.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“I will say it again.”

“You wouldn’t.”

“Try me.”

“I’ll get you in a headlock.”

“Di-”

“Shit, fine! It’s in the second pocket down in the jacket.

June lit their cigarette like the happy little nicotine gremlin they were and tossed the lighter back to Dante. They took a long draw, the tip burning like a red firefly, and exhaled grey into the cold air.

Silence fell. A breeze tried its best to raise goosebumps on Dante’s arms, but he ignored it. The rustling in the trees, the beating of tiny wings, and the crackle of June’s cigarette were the only sounds.

“I do remember you,” June said, quietly. “You were in your hound shape. Your eyes were red. They lit up the entire clearing. But I wasn’t afraid. You smelled like... home. A home I’d never known about.”

Dante looked at them. In the light of the crescent moon drifting through the clouds and the aftermath of six bottles of red wine, the hard lines of their face seemed to have softened a bit, their mouth holding what could have been a smile.

“I know that home now,” June added. “It smells like shit and most of it is on fire. Not what I expected.”

Dante laughed. “Was I what you expected?”

“Only when you give me a light and buy me dinner,” they said with a grin.

“Guess I have to do that, then.” He inched closer to nudge them with his elbow, but he didn’t move again, and after a stiff minute, June put their head on his shoulder.

Grudgingly.

He’d take it.

[gypsyjr]

Cat Tips For All Kinds Of Owners

Your cat is a really special participant of the family. It's important then to maintain ticks, fleas and various other insects far from them. They could actually affect a pet cat's well being. Maintain reviewing for even more information.Cats will certainly attempt to obtain right into various gaps. If your cat is such an interested one, putting on a collar is a safety and security threat, as your feline might hammock bed fo cats get stuck due to the fact that of it while exploring. Breakaway collars are created to launch in these scenarios. This can assist to conserve a few your feline's 9 lives.Some cats like to scratch up floorings and furnishings. Consider a scraping blog post or kitty tower if your cat's claws come to be a trouble. Instruct your pet cat to damage this rather of the legs of a couch or sofa. It doesn't happen over night yet with some patience, you must be able to conserve your residence from the claws.Cats are normally more active during the night. The outcome is that cats choose to be a lot more energetic during the evening. If your pet cats keep you up at evening, kick them out of the bed room. This will certainly ensure they do not catch you at nighttime, or wake you up in various other ways.Create a tablecloth just for your cat. Occasionally pet cats prefer to get rid of food from their bowls as well as eat it from the flooring. This might make a huge mess that you should clean up. Use a placemat under your cat's bowl or reduce some material to produce a small table linen. Shake the placemat or towel over the garbage regularly.Don't let your feline go outside. It may not be risk-free for your feline to go outdoors. It takes plain mins for your pet cats to get fleas , be attacked by a tick or something far even worse. There is the opportunity they may obtain harmed by an additional animal, also people as well as autos too. If your feline truly intends to go outside, weep right into a small area in your yard.Don't try and also educate your feline just how the can is expected to be utilized. This will certainly be something that the feline does by itself and also it generally is not found out fro another . Some feline proprietors think they must expose their cat to the can and also rub its paws right into the clutter; nevertheless, this could in fact have the contrary result and also make your cat frightened of it.Purchase top quality food for your feline. Beef, fish or hen, all great protein resources, should head the list of cornerstones. Try preventing foods that have non-protein elements like corn. Cats need meat, not vegetables.Consider buying your feline an unique alcohol consumption fountain. Your pet cat will certainly choose alcohol consumption from running water given that this is a natural behavior. Typically, pet cats much prefer water that appears in a stream. Lots of cats choose running water over their water meal. A fountain will certainly enable your cat to consume alcohol like she or he is in the wild.If you wish to get a 2nd feline, prepare for a long time where the felines will be familiarizing themselves with each other. In the beginning, they may not appear to obtain along in all. Provide them a little bit even more time to start to obtain used to every various other one-on-one, too.If your cat is refusing to utilize his can, you should attempt putting it in a various area. Feline's sometimes just do not like the place you have actually selected for the box. Some fantastic examples of such areas are cellars, utility room or other much less often utilized room in your home.Don't ever before declaw felines that go outdoors. They can not defend themselves against other pets and pet cats, which can run the risk of injuries or death. The only cats that should be declawed are indoor cats. The front claws should be the just one removed. Permit your feline to preserve their back claws which are much less damaging to interior surfaces.Cats are great at scenting, which indicates they excel at identifying if something in their setting has actually transformed. This readies yet could create concerns when you present something new to the residence, like a brand-new pet cat bed or scratching blog post. Your feline will possibly not such as these things promptly; consequently, be individual. Ultimately the pet cat will obtain utilized to the smell and also points will certainly go back to normal.If your feline is spitting up hairballs frequently, as well as additional grooming does not help, these helpful tips may aid. Add one teaspoon of pumpkin to your cat's food. Mixing the pumpkin up with water drained pipes from a can of tuna( once more, one tsp's well worth )might additionally assist. It is additionally feasible to obtain aid from pet cat food selections containing fiber as well as other ingredients.Cats do best on a diet plan high in completely dry food. Kittycats require the damp food, nevertheless, because of their tiny teeth. Once they mature though, dry, harder food will reinforce their teeth as well as keep them clean. A fussy feline may like dry as well as wet food mixed together.If you worry about your cat obtaining rabies, fleas or getting direct exposure to fungus, don't allow them to go outside. Indoor felines could experience these problems, however it is far more most likely in an exterior cat.You may assume that providing your cat a bath will certainly assist it remain properly groomed and also clean. It's not required unless there is a mishap. Felines bridegroom as well as clean themselves all throughout the day with their tongues. Cats like to be clean!Never raise your hand to your kitten or pet cat.

Violent behavior such as this will just produce concern in your feline. A gentle squirt of water is a secure and gentle way to allow your pet cat know they are misbehaving.Be particular your pet cat has consistent accessibility to fresh water. It may look like they consume alcohol a great deal each day, yet they need it for their well being and also health. Clean your pet cat's water bowl daily as well as be certain your pet cat can easily reach it.All cats are prone to a variety of different bloodsuckers. Unless you take measures versus them, these parasites aren't going anywhere. You could do away with them and also also stop them when you utilize the highlighted approaches. Your feline is sure to thank you.

[ian-jang]

Protecting Your Cat From Internal And External Organisms

Felines are really one-of-a-kind pets. Their freedom as well as knowledge can produce such a fun residence pet dog experience. As a feline proprietor, you have to be responsible and see to it your feline is well-taken care of. Review on for a lots of valuable pointers on taking care of your cat, and also use just what you will certainly learn how to offer the finest residence for your feline friend.Brush as well as cut your pet furminator for cats cat's hair typically to maintain it looking sharp. Routine brushing and cleaning is usually all that is required. Do this frequently in order to aid in keeping your cat's external coat tidy and also healthy and balanced. Doing this will certainly likewise assist ease hairballs and too much shedding. If you groom your pet cat with treatment, both your pet dog as well as your residence will look their best.Regular visits to the vet will certainly make certain that you feline is as healthy as he can be. They require a check-up as well as possibly vaccinations. Pet cats must see a veterinarian as soon as possible if any type of health issues or injuries requiring treatment occur.Do not utilize pet dog products on your feline. Felines normally react adversely to things made especially for pets. This takes place a lot with flea products. These items could be fatal for your cat. If you have a dog, and they've been offered a flea therapy, you need to separate them from your cat for a few hours.Spray electrical cables with some bitter apple to avoid felines from getting electrocuted . Keep your cables covered if you feel like your pet cat is hellbent on eating them. You can take loosened cables, pack them up, and also stick them inside the tube from an old roll of paper towels. Do away with electronics that have alluring, thin cords when you're not using them.It could prove fairly a challenge to earn your pet cat remain off counter tops. If your pet cat is high, he can see whatever that is going on. Give your cat with a few high areas it can uses. Placing a pet cat tower in or near the cooking area can aid maintain the felines from laying on the counter.Cats are nocturnal pets. It is likely that they will wish to play while you are sleeping. If your feline is maintaining you up in the evening, you should shut the door to your bedroom. This will keep the pet cats away while you're trying to rest since they will not be jumping all over you.Male pet cats could develop crystals that develop in their pee, so stop this with the right food. It is agonizing for your pet cat to pass these crystals and also the expense to have this dealt with by a vet is high. Search for a feline food that has a reduced degree of magnesium. The most effective means to learn is to read the tag. Fish-based foods normally have extra magnesium compared to poultry-based foods.Set a table linen under your feline's food bowl. Some pet cats choose to remove their food from the dish and eat it off to the side. This could bring about a huge clean-up. You could get a family pet floor covering or make use of a piece of old textile to put under it for easy cleanup.If you observe your pet cat urinating extra regularly or outside his can, then it may be time to see the vet. Occasionally, uncommon urination practices indicate an infection of the urinary system. Economical prescription antibiotics typically clear this best up.Make certain you consider where you are mosting likely to put the pet cat's can. Lots of individuals want it in an out of the method spot. The can need to be someplace that is simple for your pet cat to obtain to, however. Felines could be picky; that's why you need to provide space for their can that is familiar and does not put them off. If you have the box on a floor that is cool cement for instance, placed a carpet or mat under it.Certain foods could be great for you to eat daily, yet except your cat. Instances include garlic, grapes, green tomatoes and onions. If your feline consumes these foods, he may come to be ill or even die. Your feline should likewise avoid milk products.Try as well as integrate dry food right into your cats diet plan. Kittens need wet food, though. Feeding your cat some completely dry food will aid it expand strong teeth. A picky feline might like dry as well as wet food mixed together.You need to try to find openings in which your feline could hide. Cats could fit via really tiny gaps. Kittens especially can suit little areas. Beware of this as you bring a new feline into your residence. Get openings fixed or concealed as you locate them.Vet gos to are inevitable, however the costs can be really pricey. If you are seeking to conserve cash, buy your drugs from trusted sites on the internet. These could be delivered right to your doorstep, immediately. This is terrific for medicine like flea treatments as well as heart worm tablets that your cat takes monthly.It is essential that you treat your pet cats with tick as well as flea medications year-round. There are many month-to-month decreases that are fairly effective. Treatments like these could safeguard your cat from vermin that can trigger diseases or drain its blood. Acquisition a flea and also tick drug made specifically for cats.Unless you intend on looking after kittycats, you must neuter or spay your cat. 5 Cats have the tendency to be extremely curious. Even interior felines will try to venture out. If your women feline is outside for even a little while, she may come home pregnant. Thousands of pets die every year as a result of reckless pet owners.You ought to take unique precautions around the vacations if you own a pet cat, and view your family pet with the Christmas tree. Some felines are fairly interested as well as could climb the tree. As a precaution, you will certainly want to make sure your feline stays far from the tree in addition to any accessories or loose tinsel that can create digestion problems if they eat it.As you can currently see, a cat can be the very best pet dog you've ever before had. Research these ideas thoroughly. Apply just what you've just found out as you lay out to correctly look after your pet cat to make sure that both of you lead satisfied lives.