#and love bombed the fuck out of her with gifts & threw a big fucking party for her

[arcanaaa]

~

[dashhoney25]

SB: seven

JERMAINE

“Don’t cry for me anymore baby girl, cry for yourself” I said to Natasha as she walked past me into the closet of our bedroom. This wasn’t what I expected to come home to, but my feelings towards her were right. Something hadn’t been quite right for awhile and I couldn’t put my finger on it, and she happened to reveal it all tonight. I took a seat on the couch at the foot of the bed. I kicked off my shoes, and watched her get dressed in the closet. Natasha threw on a matching nighty set and grabbed her silk robe. Coming out to place her towel in the bathroom, she stopped as she met my gaze on the couch.

“So it’s true huh? These marks on your neck.” I asked standing up before her. She shook her head, “Yes” she said taking a step back from me. I felt anger overtake my body and I rushed her into the wall with my hand around her neck with a slight grip. Natasha gulped heavily looking my eyes. “How the fuck? What the fuck were you thinking?” I yelled at her putting a slight shake to her neck. Natasha slightly gasped for air and I quickly let go, undermining my own strength. I was letting my anger get the best of me and I took a step back from her feeling myself getting a bit choked up. I took off my shirt and backed away from her completely. “I’m sorry” she managed to get out, holding her neck. “Sorry?! Bitch you lucky I don’t-“ Before I knew it the word just flew out, I couldn’t help myself in my wrath of anger. “Bitch?! You might wanna rethink that!” Natasha said with an attitude coming towards me. I walked into the closet to drop my shirt in the hamper when she followed me. “I don’t like you behind me like this in an enclosed space. Get from around me Natasha!” I barked. She snatched the shirt away from me before I could drop it in the hamper.

“Don’t you ever call me a bitch again!” She yelled. “Drop my fucking shirt in the hamper girl! If I touch you, I’ma hurt you!” I warned. “Hurt me?!” she questioned in disbelief staring at me. I furrowed my brow at her repulsive response, here I was coming home to comfort her, and she drops the bomb on me that she’s cheated on me. But now she expects me to talk to her when she’s disrespected our relationship. “Look, I’m not doing this shit tonight. I’m not fucking with you in an enclosed space!” I said leaving the closet. She followed behind me, I guess she noticed that I was pretty hot with her, I could feel the reddening on my face growing from anger. I couldn’t accept the news and I’ll be damned if I let her talk me down right now. I had so many questions, and another reason to just leave. Four years just wasted away over Natasha’s selfish indulgences once again. I was so disgusted to the point that all I wanted to do was hurt her. Jail didn’t scare me, but the consequences of tonight would jeopardize my future and cease the existence of my legacy if tempted. This woman brought out the best in me and dragged out my worst. I hadn’t felt pain like this since the first time with Malcom and for that I was ready to go to war over her.

Naïve isn’t the word I’d use for myself, but I wasn’t a stranger to her games. With her admission of guilt and betrayal, I wanted to know why simply because I have been nothing but good to her. There’s no excuse in the world or reason as to why anyone would want to tarnish something that I thought was everlasting. I can’t fathom why anyone in their right mind would be so self-centered and ignorant to something so good in front of them. I watched as she stood at the threshold of the door, staring at me as I breathed heavily trying to calm myself down. “Have you gotten tested?” I asked as calm as I could. Natasha sighed, “Not yet” she breathed. I sighed in disappointment, “I know you’ve been fucking us both. So why haven’t you taken some responsibility for your actions?!” I asked angrily. She shook her head like a child. “NATASHA! This isn’t about you anymore! My life is at stake! You’re playing with multiple people right now, and if there’s something that I need to know, you better find out quick!” I yelled.

Natasha jumped at my voice. “Jermaine, I’m going in the morning. Chill” “Chill?! You added another nigga to the party and you expect me to chill?! First my homeboy and now this?! Who is this cat anyway?!” I asked her. “I don’t want to talk about this anymore” she said walking away. “Sit your ass on this bed and talk to me!” I yelled. Natasha kissed her teeth, “You’re not gonna talk to me like I’m a fucking child Jermaine!” she said walking up on me. Out of reflex, I pushed her onto the bed quickly. Natasha crossed her arms immaturely and watched as I stood in front of her, waiting for her to talk. “Throwing me on the bed isn’t gonna make me talk” she spat. “But fucking around on me got you here. So who is he?” I asked. She shook her head and fanned me off. “So you wanna defend him and keep him a secret but you couldn’t defend us by keeping your legs closed?!” I questioned. “Would you stop being childish?!” she retorted. “And would you stop being a hoe?! You fuck my homie of 10 years and then you do this. Guess I need to stick around for the next nigga to take his turn huh?” I roared sarcastically. Defeated, Natasha rose from the bed, “So that’s how you really feel about me” she asked glossy eyed and heartbroken. “Nah, that’s how you really feel about me” I said touching her chest that was covered in hickeys. Staring in her eyes, I knew that my words cut deep and I went overboard. I couldn’t bring myself to apologize.

I was hurting and I had to bring her back down to my level. I couldn’t look at her the same anymore and for the first time, I wasn’t turned on by her… not even a little bit. Her true colors were showing and she appeared unapologetic by her responses. She wouldn’t tell me who he was, and she called me childish for my insults. But her actions alone were selfish and scandalous to say the least. I would’ve never imagined we’d turn out this way, not even after making up from her first incident. I just didn’t want to believe that she’d take us there and back again. “I wanted a life with you, a family… everything” I said lowly. “Go ahead, tell me I’m the worst. I’m undeserving of your presence. A true apology results in changed behavior, clearly I still don’t get it.” she spoke attempting to hold back her tears. Though she was right, it didn’t seem genuine to me. I didn’t think she really understood the fate of our relationship and the damage she caused.

Natasha left the room and disappeared down the hall. I closed the door behind her, now alone in my thoughts to soak all of this in.

NATASHA

Walking into the guest bedroom, I closed the door behind me angrily and leaned against the door. Sliding down against the door, tears flooded my face as I attempted to wipe my tears. I was so distraught at what was happening, and I knew that I made the situation worse by coming off unapologetic. I wanted King to know that I was sorry and that this was never my intention to bring him back to a place like this, but when he started calling me out of my name and disrespecting me; all bets were off. Yes, I disrespected our relationship, our sacred bond, but I didn’t deserve to be talked to like that.

The hardest part of this process is that I’m going to have to tell King the truth: how long this has been going on and with who. It’s not that I’m protecting Adonis for the hell of it, but it makes me look even worse knowing that I’ve been sleeping with a man who’s engaged to one of my close friends. I can’t bring myself to look worse than what I already do, knowing that I’ve ruined my own happy home. I picked myself off the floor and climbed into bed. I looked over at the nightstand and noticed the corners of a black book sticking out of the shelves. Curious, I pulled the book out of the shelf and realized it was an old photo album of King and I.

Opening the photo album my heart instantly dropped at the old photos. The album contained pictures of King and I when we first started dating and pictures of us from when we first purchased the land to get this house built from the ground up. I found myself pointing at old photos reminiscing on how young we looked and how I was so small back then. Old Christmas photos appeared, and I couldn’t help but smile looking at the pictures of the gifts we had given each other and how we loved decorating the house together. Time had flown for us and I couldn’t have been happier looking back on the good times we’ve shared together. As I continued to browse through old pictures, I couldn’t help but feel an eerie feeling; as if I knew something was coming. The feeling felt all too familiar once I reached a special part of the album. This particular page entailed a blue and pink background with a cute little egg on it. I felt my stomach drop as I turned the page.

Turning the page, I came across a picture of my positive pregnancy test, an ultrasound picture and picture of King holding a onesie. My vision became blurry through my tears as my hands trailed the page. Going through more pictures, now looking back, you could tell that I was pregnant. You could see the big smiles on King’s face and mine in further pictures. We were so excited about this pregnancy, especially after recovering from my infidelity with Malcolm. Babies don’t fix things, but this pregnancy enhanced our love for each other and our hope for the future. We were still in process of a name, and a few weeks short of learning the sex when we received unfortunate news of no heartbeat. I didn’t want to accept it and nor did I believe the ultrasound sonographer until a few days later my world came crashing down with unexpected bleeding. During that time, I was an emotional wreck. I questioned myself, my body, and my relationship with King. I sabotaged our relationship, and we lost our baby; I felt like things were all my fault, or maybe karma had caught up with us. Regardless of what I felt, King never left my side and he made sure that I’d never cry again over something that was out of our control. We were still hopeful for a family but felt that we should give it some time.

Closing the photo album, I placed it back on the shelf in the nightstand and felt myself getting emotional. Crying, because of all we had been through, I realized in that very moment that I truly fucked up. I had thrown away my life for good, just for a quick fuck. This man was about to walk down the aisle, and here I am sabotaging myself… for what? The more I thought about it, the guiltier I felt. I couldn’t stay in my thoughts any longer, nor could I be away from King. I climbed out of bed and proceeded to the master bedroom. The door was cracked, and the lights were low, I know King was still furious with me, but naturally I couldn’t stay away. Even if we didn’t speak to each other, I had to be in his presence. I’m hurting in more ways than most, and I want him to know that I’m truly sorry; and I can’t waste another minute not being in his sight.

Pushing the door open for me to walk in, a shirtless King pulled the covers back and stared back at me. Taking off my robe, exposing my nighty set I took a seat on the couch at the foot of the bed and placed the small pillow behind my back. Sighing, I placed my focus on the television. Within minutes the television went black. “I’m going to bed” King called out. I could hear rustling under the covers, and I knew he was kicking off his boxers to sleep naked like usual. I adjusted my hair into a high bun and proceeded to stretch out on the couch. “I’m really sorry King” I finally spoke.

I heard a click and then a flash of light appeared. I sat up to see King, he turned on the lamp on his side of the bed. We stared at one another a moment, I could feel myself getting turned on at the sight of him. Any other night I’d be buried under the covers lying next to him with my arms all over his big strong body with him deep inside me. But tonight, I’m surprised we’re speaking to each other. “Tash, you sleeping in here tonight?” King questioned. “Yeah…” I said nervously. “You know that couch isn’t comfortable” he added. “I know” I said looking down, I know I’ll be paying for this in the morning. King stared at me once more, he seemed to be contemplating something. “Well, good night” King replied before turning the lamp off.

@soufcakmistress @liilbougievert @honeyandpeaches  @goddessofthundathighs @nahimjustfeelingit-writes @thehomierobbstark  @mochaxmars @harleycativy @blackpinup22 @19jammmy @mbjfangirl  @killmonger-fics @browngirldominion @woahitslucyylu @loudcowboylawyertree  @bigchoose @uzumaki-rebellion  @nizzle-mo @luvwitoutlimit1 @honeytoffee  @queenflaws @callmemckenzieee​ @kkrown​  @madison2035 @illegalxbae @stokeleybabymama @cecereads209 @imanerdychubbyqueen @nyneebey @shaekingshitup​ @thickemadame​ @amorestevens @mymeira12universe-blog​

[irishmacguirefucker]

Why and how did the gang start a ranch?

(So this got long as FUCK but please read it because oh my god i'm so so proud of it ok? Big thank you to @awesomeundertalelover3​ for proofreading and editing this for me, especially since I'm incoherent when I type.) The choice to start the ranch and stop being a “gang” was the result of a few things. First, it was the botched job in Blackwater. Dutch killed innocent Heidi McCourt, planting the first seed of distrust within the gang. Then in the escape, they lost Sean and the gravely injured Mac, and John, Davey and Jenny were both injured. Then Jenny died, of course, followed by Davey. The next big push into the decision was the time spent in the mountains. The cold and the difficulty of survival made many members of the gang think long and hard about their life as gang members, especially now that Hosea and Dutch seem to be fighting over whether or not Dutches plans will work out. 

At this point they are cold, they are tired, and they have lost what they assume is 4 members of their family. But they kept on. They gained Sadie Adler due to Micah’s stupidity and they gained Kieran. You all know how things go until they get to Horseshoe Valley. But this is where things start to change in my AU. 

Horseshoe Valley is good for everyone, they continue to commit crimes as usual. But Hosea is contacted by the elder brother of his late wife Bessie. He wrote that he feared he would die soon, and his property would be sold to the government since he had no other family left in the area. His daughter lives in new york and she doesn’t want it. He’s going to go live with his daughter and get to know his grandchildren before he passes. But he doesn’t want the ranch he and Bessie grew up on in anyone else’s possession so he asks Hosea to do what Bessie would do. Who Bessie would give the farm to. 

The deed was to 55 Acres of land in New Austin. A beautiful 3 story ranch house with all the facilities to keep cattle, chickens, pigs, sheep, and horses. The man had sold all his livestock so that he could make it to see his family and then give the money to his daughter as a gift for letting him live with her. Hosea never told anyone, he was going to keep the deed for a while and sell it when the gang was in need. 

The Van Der Linde gang was being hunted and they all knew it. However, they tried to ignore it and tried to believe in Dutch. But with the unfortunate loss of so many members of their family at once was weighing on them. They were having trouble getting money and getting food, and they knew that gangs all over America were being wiped out around them. Arthur and Hosea would talk about how bad it was getting, and more than once members of the gang would tell Hosea that they just want to be loyal. They want to be safe again but they would never leave their family. The final straw was at the fault of Micah. 

When Arthur went to retrieve Micah in Strawberry he ended up discussing the jailed outlaw with the sheriff. He was going to get the man drunk and then get Micah out Hosea style, but when he spoke to that drunk sheriff he learned a lot. The sheriff revealed that the Pinkertons had been by and spoke with him and that he was part of a famous gang. With further prompting, the sheriff dropped the bomb that Micah was a rat. The Pinkertons had come to Strawberry to take Micah away because they knew who he was but offered him a deal. They would let him wait here to be saved and then continue feeding Pinkertons information, or they could haul him off to Siska and hang him before the gang even noticed he was gone. And so Arthur thanked the wasted lawman for his time and left Strawberry without the rat. 

When he got back and talked to Dutch and Hosea, he shared that Micah had told the law everything he knew and planned to come back as a rat. They knew very well that Micah knew far too much and finally Hosea knew what he was going to do with that land. With Dutch and Arthur there, he explained everything about his brother in law, and then he let them know *his* plan.

Hosea wanted the gang safe, even if that meant not being a gang anymore. He had been the shoulder to cry on for Lenny, who missed young Jenny. For Karen, who drunkenly admitted that she might be in love with Sean but never told him. For Tilly, who was terrified her old gang would find her again and she would be back where she was when she was 12. And for many others, who felt so broken by the last few months. His plan was to start collecting as much money as they can and use it to pay off their bounties and move to the ranch. To buy a few heads of cattle, take their chicken, buy some pigs and sheep, and start that ranch up again. 

Dutch thought it was crazy. Arthur agreed, but the look of hope in the blonde’s eyes was enough to see what he really thought. Dutch was angry, he was so so angry that Hosea would suggest this after everything they had been through. He even threw it back in Hosea’s face that he had tried to live the regular life, that Hosea couldn’t do it. That insult was the last straw.

He told Dutch that if he didn’t do this, he was going to die alone on a hill made from the bodies of this gang. People were going to leave him behind because they all know that the age of gangs and crime is over. Or worse, they would be loyal to him and they would die for it. Dutch would be responsible for the deaths of everyone in this camp. And with Dutch still stunned by the older man’s outburst, Arthur spoke up. He thought they could do it, and he would follow Hosea if that’s what would secure the safety of his new family. That’s what finally drilled it into Dutch’s head that this is the only option. His orphan son, who he had rescued off the streets at fourteen, was willing to leave him behind for this new plan. 

The first person they let into the new plan was surprisingly Strauss. While Hosea was sure they could figure it out, he needed to know just how realistic he was being here. He knew they would need to figure out what their collective bounties were and how they were going to pay that off. Strauss did a little math and a little research. Dutch himself had a $5000 bounty in New Austin. Hosea had around $2000 on his head, and everyone else (including Arthur) altogether was around $2000 max. They were lucky that many of the members were unidentified, meaning they were without bounties. Strauss told them they would need to get around $9000 dollars, and then another $500-$1000 to get the ranch started based on his estimations.

Getting the money would be hard if they kept the plan to themselves. The next people the three men told were Susan and John. They would need to start brainstorming ideas on how to get the money. Arthur was going to enlist the help of Javier and Charles to track down every treasure hidden across the map. John would start asking around towns for small jobs, legal ones. People who needed help building things, finding people, etc. Susan would have the girls get as much information as they could about possible leads with fake stories about their deadbeat husbands needing jobs to support their children or stories about wanting honest work for themselves to avoid becoming a prostitute. Everyone would have to pitch in, the only issue with this is that they couldn’t tell everyone yet, lest something go wrong and they can’t do it.

As they were collecting the money and saving, the gang was beginning to get suspicious. They were all working far harder and far more than usual for no apparent reason. Dutch was sending them to do legal work which was extremely odd, and the money they were earning was just sitting around waiting to be spent. Dutch knew he would have to tell them what was happening eventually, but he didn’t know how. He would have to tell the gang that they were no longer going to be a gang. That he was ending the life of crime they knew but expecting them to follow him into a new one. 

When they found Sean again, alive, spirits were high. They had his welcome home party and everyone celebrated. But Dutch was the first to see the toll that months of time spent with the bounty hunters had done to the man. He had new scars that he was hiding from his family, he was missing a tooth that he definitely had when he left. He had been tortured for months, and no matter how well he hid it, Dutch knew it was time for his gang to be safe again. 

Not long after the welcome party, many of the individual members knew. Charles learned from Arthur, Sean overheard a discussion between Hosea and Arthur and eventually told Karen, Susan learned from Dutch, etc. Soon Dutch was ready to tell the gang. And then Arthur ran into the Pinkertons when he was fishing with Jack and it really was the right time to say it. They moved to the new spot near Rhodes at Dutch’s insistence, if it were up to Hosea they would have up and left for the ranch instead but there were still a few things to be finalized. Once they were safe once more, Dutch made a speech. Arthur had let everyone know that Mac was dead, but hadn’t ratted them out and that Micah was dead too and he had been a rat, not long after he found out. And then he nudged Dutch forward to tell everyone what their new life could be. 

Dutch told them the whole plan, told them that they would be safer and they would be happier, but they had to trust him. And if they couldn’t trust him, they could trust Hosea. The gang is loyal, many of them were saved by Dutch and even with their uncertainty, they chose to go with him to this new life. And so in the next 2 months or so, they had enough money to pay their bounties. The Pinkertons would have to leave them alone, provided they played by the law. So they all travelled to New Austin to live on a ranch, and become more of a family than a gang. Bill was there for a while, until one night he wasn’t. There was a note in his room claiming that they had all turned into a bunch of soft bellied do gooders and he was going to start his own gang. Nobody searched for him.

[lezbanator]

Immortal: Part 2

Introduction

A week ago I wrote a short story on tumblr about an immortal man who is celebrating his 100th birthday. He threw himself a giant party and auctioned himself off to a beautiful woman. The woman ended up taking him to a secluded location were she and her friends will hunt him. This is the second part of that story.

Once I was a powerful warrior. leading thousands into battle just to prove that we will always be the victors. Now I lead a handful of women to clean up the mistakes that the Mother has created. Our armor once struck fear in the soldiers on the battlefield, now get mocked like it's some sort of costume worn by the weak. I'm not surprised when the man in front of me insults us with his laughter of disbelief.

"I love a good role play." He snorts in laughter. "Oh no, I am so helpless I hope a group of big strong girls can save me." He reaches for me sarcastically for help. I grab is wrist and break one of his fingers. "Fuck! I heal pretty quickly but I still feel pain!" Just for that comment I break another on of his fingers and let go of his hand. A smile comes across my face, as I see the fear start to kick in as he realizes he isn't healing.

"As I was saying before, we are the Warriors of the Mother, and we are here to hunt you." Repeating myself a second time actived something in him. He started wiping off the brown liquid I covered him in earlier. "Why do I always have to repeat myself to the simple minded? Even if you successfully remove that from your body it will stay in your system for 72 hours."

My second in command pulls back her bow and fires an arrow in the man's shoulder with such force it knocks him off his feet. The pleasure I get watching him painfully pull it out fills me with life. I watch the man scream in pain as he stands up. I allow him to run away with the arrow he removed in his hand. The more time I give them to prepare the more fun the hunt is.

When I turn around to look at my faithful warriors I can see the same blood thirst in their eyes that is running through me. These women have stayed by my side for centuries, becoming masters in their fields. My five warriors consist of; a giant woman who towers over everyone and can rip people apart with her bare hands. A small woman, and the youngest by my side, who can make a bomb or a trap out of the Lint in her pocket. An expert sword weilder who can cut you to pecies before you can draw a weapon. A putrid smelling woman who has tracked down creatures that people think are only myths. Last is my loyal number two. She is a beautiful woman who can shoot an arrow throw any moving target from over 100 miles away. She is my equal someone who has made my days and nights worth living. However, she insists to be my second.

"For the past 100 years we have tested and studied this man. We hoped that he would do one great thing with this gift that the mother has given him. Instead he showed off his powers just like the others before him. There's enough self centered people in this world. So it is up to us to purge the ones who wont die. We have been waiting 100 years for this so don't rush it. Remember the one who kills him gets what the most desire." I raised my arm up clinching my hand into a fist and let out a battle cry, my warriors copied. I turned around and lead my small army towards the direction the man ran to.

To be continued...

[brattywriters-anonymous]

Mystique

A short story based on this post

by @nahimjustfeelingit-writes

Warnings: presmut. drug usage.

Kamaria Egolston is the definition of all work and no play. She just landed her huge tech job in Silicon Valley after completing grad school last fall. She finished magna cum laude majoring Information Technology with a concentration in Engineering. So she often appointed her rigidness whilst at Stanford as focusing on her grades. The only friends she made were in class and in her study groups, so by the time she actually graduated, she didn’t really have many friends to mingle with. That is except for her two girlfriends she made her first year at SU, Cynthia and Adia. They were all like three peas in a pod, except for when it came time to party. Kamaria left all of that to the two of them.

That all changes tonight. Kamaria sighed as she threw her final empty box on the other side of her room, “I’m officially moved in!” She hears her phone go off in the facetime ringtone, It’s Cynthia and Adia. “Hellooo?” “Kami! You getting ready?” Kamaria rolls her eyes at her friends, “No. I finally just got unpacked. Can I at least take a shower first?” Adia interjected, “Well duh! You can’t go out smelling like you been pushing boxes all day in this California heat!” Kamaria flashes a middle finger her off as she shuffles her way into her bathroom, “I’ll text y’all when I’m on my way!” Cynthia chimes in, “I’ll text you the address to the Air B&B, we’ll pregame there before the kickback.”

It was Cyn’s grand plan to take Kamaria to a house party in Oakland, to be specific Cyn’s foster brother’s house party. It was perfect timing that Zoe would host a party on Kamaria’s twenty-sixth birthday. It was a must that the whole crew got lit and none of them were driving two hours back to the valley. Hell, none of them were driving back to their decked out Air B&B either. They were taking an Uber to and from Zoe’s party. Kamaria finally hopped out of her shower and picked out the outfit that Cynthia and Adia collectively bought for her as a graduation gift. She couldn’t stop trying to cover up as the lace bodysuit she’s sporting left nothing to the imagination, and the lace pants that all these girls have been sporting definitely were no better. Kamaria threw her shoes in her purse since she can’t drive in heels and proceeds to apply her makeup for the night.

Just like clockwork, as soon as she finishes up and grabs her overnight bag, Cyn sends her the address. Her drive is as smooth as it could be on a Friday night, the traffic doesn’t hit until she’s four miles away from her destination. Kamaria’s mind starts to drift and she hears a horn beeping at her. She looks ahead of her right away to see that she can’t move ahead so she shrugs it off, thinking it’s the car in the lane over from her. She hears the horn again and looks back, her ratchet ass best friends are two cars behind her in the lane next to her. “HEY BIIIIIIIIIIIT!” Cyn yells out in the passenger seat. She rolls down her window, “When did y’all leave?” Adia shrugs, “About ten minutes after you said you left. You drive slow!” “Did y’all eat yet?” The girls look at each other in their car and shake their heads, “Nah.” Kamaria starts her thinking face, “I want some tacos!” Cynthia screams, “I know a spot! Put in Cholita Linda.” It was an eight minute drive from where they were on the freeway.

They arrived to the color-filled eatery around eight PM. They choose to sit by the window to get a nice view of Telegraph Avenue. The waiter arrives with a thick Spanish accent, “Hola mamitas! Welcome to Cholita Linda, my name is Rosalyn. What can I get ‘cha?” Kamaria orders the fish tacos and a glass of Sangria. Adia orders a Cubano with a glass of Cabernet. Cynthia opts for the Carne Asada tacos, chips and guac and a Corona. The girls are all enjoying the scenery and drinks when a guy catches Kamaria’s attention. She didn’t want to alarm the girls so she keeps a cool demeanor as their conversing about Cyn’s brother.

“This nigga keeps tryna get me to move back home. I’m telling him if I can find a job out here matching the ends that I’m making in the valley then I’m on a one way back here! Other than that, I’ll catch you when I’m here!” Adia agrees with her friend, “Yeah the money is too good out there to just be going anywhere else.” Kamaria catches a glimpse of the mysterious man’s side profile, he was smiling. Dimple on full display and from what she could see, he sported a gold cap on his lower canine. His profile alone makes Kamaria straighten up in her seat. Cyn turns to her, “What’chu think K?” She blinks out of her trance and looks out of the window, “I heard the Wakandan Outreach Center is looking for people in IT. I only heard about it after I accepted my offer, otherwise I would’ve came out here.” Adia’s eyes widen, “Oh yeah! I heard that too! I heard about that fine ass King that built it too!” Cyn protests, “Girl don’t he got a girl? Nokia or something?” Adia goes back, “Nakia, Cynthia. They broke up a while back though.” Kamia reels back in surprise, “How do you know this?” Adia shrugs her intelligence off, “Since T’challa revealed what Wakanda is really about, he’s all over theshaderoom, bossip, icecreamconvos..” “The list of blogs go on and on. So anyway, I may look into that. Zoe and Erik have been riding me hard about coming back.”

Kamaria looks over in the man’s direction again, she catches him staring right back at her. She looks down by reflex, biting her lip to mask her smile. “What’chu over there smiling at?” “I just thought about something.” Oh she’s thinking alright. The way he licked his full lips at her as if he was ready to devour her on the next table has Kamaria’s thoughts racing. She chugs her Sangria and looks around for Rosalyn, she must be on a break or something because she’s nowhere to be found. “I need some water, I’ll be back.” The parched woman gets up and struts in the mystery man’s direction. As if he felt her presence arising, he turns back around to face her, only to see her standing right beside her. “Hello, can I get a water please? I can’t find my waiter.” The bartender nods as the man sizes her up, “Where you going looking like that?” Kamaria turns to him to witness his tongue darting out, sliding across his teeth at an agonizingly slow pace.

“Looking like what, exactly?” Her eyes narrow in suspense, awaiting his response. He drags his finger in mid-air, up and down. Pointing through her an-sable, “That. You must have a date tonight or somethin’.” Kamaria shakes her head, “Nah. Just a night out with my girls.” The man places his hands in his pockets as he closes their distance, “That’s a shame. If you were my date, dressed like that. Girl, I’d rip through--” “Here ya go mami, Agua.” She stares at the frosted cup and back up at him, “Goodnight.” She grabs the beverage and starts back to the table, He replies as she walks away, “Goodnight to you too.”

The girls must have been tied up into whatever conversation they were having because they don’t even question Kamaria about her little run in at the bar. She spends the rest of the time in the restaurant quiet listening to her girls rant and rave about their boyfriends and the ain’t shit, shit that they do. They exit the establishment in laughter as Adia goes, “K, you lucky you ain’t gotta deal with this shit! Be single for as long as you can bit! As soon as you get a nigga, BOOM. He get to acting like it’s his first day on the planet!” “Anyway, off them niggas! It’s K’s big two-six! So you know we about to do it big! Lets get our asses to the spot!”

The trio arrive at the estate. “Damn Dia! You did this!” She pops her collar, “Well, you know! What can I say?” She laughs before continuing, “What did you get for us to get this pregame poppin’? It’s almost midnight and almost Kamaria’s birthday!” Cynthia digs around in her duffle bag and pulls out a bottle of Hennessy white. Kamaria could already feel the hangover coming as she slaps her forehead, “Oh, God.” Cynthia pulls out another one with her other hand, “Oh, God is right! We doing it up boo! We got this bomb ass place for two nights, we about to get lit at my brodie’s party! It’s only right bestie!” She poured up the shots, “Everybody raise em up! Raise em up!” They all do so. “To Kamaria! The genius. The beauty. The wonderful. May twenty-sex! Treat you as well as you treat the ones you love! Salud!” Kamaria shoots her shot straight back, wincing at the burn in her throat.

They arrive to the party fifteen till midnight, tipsy and ready to dance. Kamaria is still feeling self conscious about her revealing outfit so she puts on her cropped jacket over it. The Uber pulls up to Zoe’s house the street is filled with cars. His porch and driveway was littered with party goers. Cyn leads the way through until they get in the house. The live Dj is next to the entertainment center, the living room’s red colored lights made it almost difficult to clearly see anyone. Cyn guides the duo to what looks to be the dining room where Zoe stands with two girls on each arm, “Oh shit, Cyn! I didn’t think you was gon make it Beans!” “I told you I was comin’ Rice! Damn, have you no faith in your sis?” He shakes his head as he takes a drag from his re-rolled backwood, “Nah. I don’t.” She slaps him upside his head, “Fuck you nigga!” “Ew. No thanks!” “Zoe, these are my besties, Adia--” She waves, “Hi.” “--and Kamaria” She nods, “Hello.” “Oh so this is the birthday girl?” Zoe parts ways with his women as he comes to the realization.

“That’ll be me.” He nods, “Hmph. Well, I gotta show you how we celebrate birthdays in Oak Town. Aye, E!” He signaled for someone over in the living room, “Waddup, Z!” Kamaria’s face hardened at the raspy deep voice that replied at Zoe’s call. She shifts past her girls to see who the voice belongs to, and lo and behold. It’s the guy she saw at Cholita Linda. She put her hand over her mouth in astonishment, “Shit.” She whispered as he approaches them, “Erik, this is Kamaria. To my understanding it’s her birthday.” “Nice to see you again, beautiful. Happy birthday.” He holds his hand out, awaiting to meet hers. She accepts the gesture, grasping his hand. He takes hers and places one single kiss in the middle of her outer palm. Kamaria shivers as she retrieves it, “Thank you, Erik.” He smirks as his tongue drags across his teeth again, as it did earlier. “Care for a dance, birthday girl?” She looks to her girls, Adia gave her a “Bitch what you waiting for?” look, Cyn says, “He’s the bro girl, you safe.”

Kamaria finally pieces it together that it’s the same Erik that Cyn and Zoe grew up with. She nods, “Okay.” Now, even though Kamaria was a homebody, she still has rhythm and since she has a shape to her, it would’ve been a shame if she didn’t know how to move it. So she would go on YouTube and Instagram and watched videos of twerking in her spare time and would practice. It looks like that’s what the crowd was doing so she simply follows suit. Her body whines back and forth as Erik’s hands find hers as his body hugs against hers. Just as they were finding a rhythm to whatever song was playing, the music stops. “Ehh Emm.. Check one two, one two! Alright, excuse me fam! It’s my bitch Kami’s birthday and she gots to get down one time to her song! Happy birthday BIIIIITT! Hit it DJ.” Birthday bitch starts blaring through the speakers.

Kamaria exclaims, “Oooooohhh!” She dips her body lower and Erik follows suit, gripping her by her hips. Her body is gyrating against her partner’s as she feels a finger tap her, it’s Adia’s “Here. It’s from Zoe. Your birthday blunt.” Kamaria keeps dancing as she finds him, “Aye! You got twenty five more like that comin’ up so you better start now!” She takes the lighter from Adia and sparks up. Since she’s not able to put her hands on her knees because she’s smoking, she has to stand up slightly arched as she sways back and forth to her birthday song. Erik inches his head to her ear, “You know how to shake sum K.” She grins, “Yeah, I do.” She whines her body to turn toward him, “So what were you saying earlier?” His brow raises, “When?” “At the restaurant. You said if you were my date and if I was wearing what I am wearing..” She pauses her statement as she takes a drag and presses her pelvis against his, “You’d do..what?” 

Erik laughs, looking at the ceiling as if he is composing himself, says, “I’d rip through all that shit.” That shiver returns to Kamaria’s body and she stops dancing, motioning the blunt to Erik. He takes it, still hanging onto their stare. “Since it’s your birthday, I’d definitely rip all that shit off. Give you some good birthday dick.” Kamaria bites her lip at the thought, “Hmm..” On queue, Mad Cobra’s “Flex” comes on. Erik hands her backwood back, she turns back against him and slowly whines to the beat. Her body temperature heats up and as she recognizes Erik’s does the same. She suddenly slows her motions, he goes back against her ear, “You feel it, don’t you?” Her head rolls back, resting against his chest. His hand grips her inner thigh as he murmurs, “You coming with me?” She giggles as her next words struggle to come out, “W-what?” He grips her thigh harder so that her body can press against his even more so she could feel exactly how hard he is under his pants. Her body shivers again, “I SAID, you coming with Daddy?”

--

[vatrixsta]

How Long Will I Love You (1/2)

PRESTO! @the-corsair-and-her-quill IT IS I, YOUR SECRET SANTA!  It was so, so fun stalking  getting to know you over the last few weeks! Because you do not love Christmas in a traditional, cheesy way, I have written you an angsty CS AU Emma who is having trouble with her husband. Yes, it’s very cheery :D Hopefully I’ve read the room right when it comes to your tastes and preferences and I REALLY REALLY hope you enjoy it!!

I’ve tried to leave the first part in an okay place, but I’m hoping to finish it off for you by the weekend at the latest. Yes, it’s the gift that unfortunately keeps on giving! 

Man, I really thought I could write this little angst bomb as a one shot, but I very much underestimated my own desire to torture poor Emma. This will be up on AO3 after I’ve... slept. MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!

How Long Will I Love you (1/2)

xxx

Emma Swan-Jones was absolutely positive of one thing: her husband was hiding something.

Killian was not the secretive type. He’d worn his heart on his sleeve as long as she’d known him, something that had caused them both a great deal of frustration early on in their courtship. Emma had been jaded single mother just trying to keep her and Henry’s head above water and Killian… well, he’d just been so steadfast, so sure right from the start that it had freaked her out a little. The fact that he was Henry’s favorite author? That had definitely made his job of winning her heart a hell of a lot harder.

So yes, she’d been the one pulling away, doubting, constantly testing him for the first few months of their relationship, something she felt bad about later but honestly couldn’t imagine any other way. Her walls had been sky high after, you know, her whole fucking life, being abandoned, foster care, all the people who made it clear they never wanted her and no one ever really would - then fucking Neal and prison and Henry was the only good thing she got out of all that - no way would she get a charming British rogue who spent his free time writing children’s stories about a skewed take on Peter Pan. No, that was not for her, no matter how much he tried to convince her that she and Henry were all he wanted.

Except… he had. They built a life together. They got married. They moved around for a long time, three nomads looking for a place to plant roots as Emma’s work took her wherever the leads did and Henry was all too happy to continue home study and Killian could write from anywhere. He let her read his first drafts and she let him read over her shoulder when she was researching her skips. He was constantly challenging her and annoying her and being the best stepdad to Henry and just… he wasn’t perfect, but he also kind of was? She could barely remember what life was like before their twosome became three; didn’t really want to remember. It felt like they’d always been together, the three of them, with Killian in charge of steering the ship, emotionally speaking.

Maybe that was the real problem. Emma had gotten used Killian always being the grown up in the relationship and now that he was taking up the part of the sullen, moody teenager who lied to her face when she asked him what was wrong, she didn’t know how to deal with it.

Hadn’t he read the contract between them? She was the moody teenager in the relationship, at least for a few more years, before Henry turned into an actual moody teenager.

This had to stop. She was going to stop it. Be the bigger person. Not fall back on decades of rejection and shitty emotional behavior and lose the nerve to force him to talk to her.

….

So yeah, she totally lost the nerve. Killian was sitting in the office, broodily staring at a blank computer screen and she tried to use the perfect opening.

“Hey. Are the pages not cooperating?”

It was smooth. She actually thought about it before she said it, not at all typical Emma behavior. She’d asked him about his writing before, when it seemed like he was in a bit of a funk and he’d always use the opportunity to escape for awhile, maybe take Henry to a movie or, if they were near water, to look at the boats by the harbor. Sometimes he’d compliment her - all, your boy’s a marvel, Swan, nothing like a trip to the pier with the little spitfire to knock a spot of writer’s block into the dust. Over time, it became our boy and her heart clenched with how easily the word rolled off his tongue and hers.

So his response today was somewhat underwhelming.

“What?” he asked, distracted, moody, dare she say - a bit twitchy.

Emma’s eyes narrowed. Every hackle she has was rising. But this was her husband. She trusted him. She loved him, completely. So he was having an off week. She’d had her share of them and he bore them with grace. She was not going to interrogate him like a suspect.

“Let’s go out to dinner,” she said, trying to be positive. Henry was at a sleepover and maybe he was feeling like she was - a little out of sorts without their favorite playmate. She would ignore the fact that this behavior had been going on for weeks, pretty much, she realized, since they’d settled down in Boston. “Somewhere nice, with tablecloths where you can get handsy while we overpay for whatever’s labeled market price.”

Seafood and groping - two of her husband’s favorite treats. But when his eyes flickered, it wasn’t with the normal interest and good humor she expected. If she had to name the emotion that flashed behind those blue, blue eyes of his, a split second before his whole face shuttered to a neutral expression, she’d call it guilt. Maybe even a pinch of despair.

“I’m sorry, Swan,” he said, definitely looking sorry, but not in a way she liked, “I should really keep plugging away at this.” He gestured at the keyboard with his prosthetic hand, the right scratching at the back of his neck like he had a rash.

“Yeah. Me too. I’ll make us some pasta then,” she mumbled, tucking down how much his rejection and the fact that he was lying to her hurt.

She fled to the kitchen and threw together a simple dinner neither of them really touched. He escaped back to his office as soon as he could and she went to bed early, wondering what the hell was going on with the man she married.

~~~

Henry returned from his sleepover late the next day and since it was Sunday, he reminded Killian they were supposed to check out the docks, an activity they hadn’t had time for since they moved to town. Boston was both big and small and getting to specific parts of the city sometimes took a huge chunk of time unless you were on foot. That was why they’d splurged on an apartment that was pricey but perfect and if you squinted, just within their budget - Killian had a great nest egg from the book sales and would receive an advance as soon as he’d finished the first three chapters of his next book. Emma had been saving from the moment she graduated from waiting tables to bail bonds and their combined good financial habits had secured them three bedrooms, a top floor and a glorious view of the water.

“It’ll be perfect, Swan,” Killian had said while they were still living from rental to rental. “Our first little hideaway by the sea until you retire and we can live somewhere much quieter, with fewer bail jumpers needing your always pertinent attention.”

That was back when he was still sweet talking her like usual. God, she hoped his outing with Henry would help him settle. He was always calmer by the water and the view aside, she knew he wasn’t satisfied until he’d gotten a good lungful of salt air.

She bided her time while they were out by doing laundry. Every time she passed the office - they shared it, but since his work dictated a quiet space a lot more than hers did, it was mostly Killian’s domain - she had to fight off the knee jerk urge she had to go snooping on his computer for answers. The doubt that was beginning to live in her breastbone was making it hard to remember how much she trusted Killian, like she’d never trusted anyone in her life.

The urge to snoop was definitely going to get the better of her if she stayed in the apartment, so Emma quickly bundled up and grabbed her wallet and keys. They were out of eggs and a few other essentials. Besides, it was six weeks ‘til Christmas and with all the moving drama she hadn’t bought anything for Henry or Killian. She could at least do some in person recon before she came home and ordered them stuff online.

She was putting away groceries when the apartment door banged shut.

“Hey Kid,” she greeted Henry, noticing the lack of anyone else behind him. “Where’s Killian?”

“He said he had an errand,” Henry huffed into the kitchen and noted Killian’s behavior with his usual tact and charm. “What crawled up his butt?”

Emma rolled her eyes. “Nothing. Why do you ask?”

He shrugged. “We were having a good time, we got ice cream and he was telling me about ships and Liam and it reminded me about my ancestry project for school. I asked him about his parents and he reminded me - as if I didn’t know - that he isn’t my biological father. We kind of… had a fight. He was trying to talk to me about him.”

Emma paused with the Eggos halfway to the freezer. Him. That was how Henry had referred to Neal since he was old enough to understand their history. Emma had no idea why Killian was suddenly bringing the subject up - as far as she knew, his feelings about Neal mirrored her own: if she ever ran into him in a dark alley, she’d at least bloody her knuckles on some part of his face.

“Maybe Killian was just trying to make sure you didn’t want to talk about him,” Emma offered. “I haven’t exactly done the best job of keeping you a neutral third party where he’s concerned. It would be… normal… if you were curious about your dad.” The words were like ash on her tongue, but she forced them out, mentally awarding herself ten points for Gryffindor.

Henry made a disgusted sound in the back of his throat. “After what he did to you? I don’t care about him. He’s not my dad. Killian’s…” He looked down and Emma was horrified to see tears in his eyes. “I thought Killian… I guess I was wrong.”

“Hey.” Emma put her hand on Henry’s chin and pulled his head up to meet her eyes. “Killian would take a bullet for you, kid. Whatever is going on with him - it is not about you and it is not about how much he loves you. Got it?”

“Got it,” Henry mumbled, eyes still downcast. “Can I play Xbox until dinner?”

Sighing, Emma forced her stiff little boy into an embrace and kissed his forehead soundly. “Yeah. Play something nice and violent.”

He nodded against her side then trudged into his room. Emma pursed her lips.

Fuck it. She was snooping on his computer. Henry was upset by whatever the hell was wrong with him and she was done being the mature adult. Ten points from Gryffindor - maybe she’d always belonged in Slytherin after all.

xxx

All Emma got out of snooping through Killian’s laptop was a recipe for buttered rum and a knot of guilt in her stomach. His browser history was weeks old, like he hadn’t searched for anything; she even tried all the tricks she knew to find hidden tracks on a laptop - he’d really done nothing on it since before they’d moved to Boston and that included working on the new book.

Maybe his odd behavior really was as simple as an intense case of writer’s block. Maybe he was afraid to tell her, because they’d gotten this fancy apartment and with the bail bonds trade usually drying up a bit after the holidays, they’d be counting on his advance once he delivered his publisher the detailed synopsis.  

Abandoning her shitty, mistrustful wife plan, Emma headed back to the kitchen (it was possible she’d left the ice cream out to melt) but stopped when she heard not the sounds of violent bloody gore, but quiet voices coming from Henry’s bedroom.

“It’s fine,” Henry was saying in a tone that clearly indicated it was anything but.

“It’s really not,” Killian said and Emma leaned against the wall that kept her out of their line of sight but made eavesdropping on Henry’s room much easier. Hey, the view wasn’t the only reason she’d been eager for this apartment.

“I just… I guess I thought… we were a family,” Henry said, sounding so vulnerable Emma wanted to hug him and hurt Killian a little for making him sound that way.

“Henry… lad.” Then Killian sounded just as lost, just as broken, and Emma just wanted to wrap her arms around them both. “The love I have for you and your mother outweighs all the grains of sand in this or any other realm. Never doubt that.”

“Then why did you bring him up?” Henry asked. “I don’t want to do my ancestry project about him. I can’t ask Mom, because she doesn’t know who her parents are. I know yours are gone, but you knew them at least. I still want to do my project about my family.”

Killian took a deep breath. She knew well the sound of air filling his lungs from a thousand nights falling asleep with her ear pressed to his chest, a thousand moments sat across from him as he prepared himself to say something sappy or meaningful or cheeky.

“My father’s name was Brennan and my mother’s name was Alice. They married young -- too young, it turns out. He was a bastard and she would have adored spoiling you, her first grandchild, young master Henry.”

Emma bit her lip hard to keep the tears in her eyes from falling. Her boys kept speaking to one another, Henry asking questions, then telling Killian to wait, he had to write this down, and Killian detailing as much of his history as he could - the small English village he was born into, the Jones line before him (he’d never known his grandparents and unfortunately couldn’t be of much help further back, but he did delight Henry by informing him they were rumored to be descended from the Davey Jones) and any other detail that came to mind. Emma was pretty sure he was making at least some of it up, but it was a fifth grade ancestry project and she’d punch any teacher who gave Henry less than an A for the yarn he was about to spin.

Deciding she’d had enough of this emotional roller coaster, Emma spent some time researching a skip - he was slippery and she might have to go out of town for a few days to nab him. With Killian and Henry on an even keel, she felt a lot better about the prospect.

A solid hour of research confirmed her suspicion - Travis the douchebag had fled to Rhode Island and was stupid enough to still be using his own credit cards. He had also already set up a new Tinder profile. Emma would drive the Bug to the most recent hit she had on his card and let the tight red dress on her Tinder profile do the rest of the location job for her.

She’d leave in the morning. She wanted to spend the night with her boys first.

They were still in Henry’s room, though ancestry talk had morphed into the video game Killian hated playing the least, something with knights and quests. They were spread out on Henry’s small full bed and Emma took a flying leap between them, forcing them to either dive out of the way and lose a life or accept her full weight.

Naturally they both took the hit, their characters living to fight another day.

“Oi! Swan,” Killian complained.

“Jesus, Mom,” Henry added, sounding much more parental than she ever did.

“Third controller,” she demanded.

Henry hooked the wire with his foot and launched it at her. She caught it easily and entered the game when it let her. Every time she did something Killian or Henry couldn’t, she elbowed them until Killian finally called for a mutiny. He and Henry ganged up on her, assaulting her with tickling fingers and raspberries, the game abandoned and Emma feeling lighter than she had in weeks.

xxx

“I have to go to Rhode Island tomorrow,” Emma said later that night after they’d settled into bed. Killian seemed to be keeping a little more distance between them than was customary and he was also wearing his prosthetic to bed, which he never did.

“Hmm?” Killian responded, irking her because apparently he wasn’t even listening to her.

“I’m going away tomorrow,” she repeated, turning on her side to face him. He was staring at the ceiling, the black t-shirt he wore getting in the way of her favorite pillow, his chest hair. Come to think of it, he’d been withholding her favorite pillow for awhile now. She’d been so exhausted by the move that she’d basically fallen asleep as soon as her head hit an actual pillow.

He finally turned to face her. “Where are you going?”

“Rhode Island,” she repeated. “I’ve got a hit on a skip. It’ll be a nice payday for the holidays.”

“That’s good,” he said, nodding a bit, mostly to himself, it seemed.

“I’ll be gone a few days, most likely,” she added, frowning when he just nodded again. “I’ll miss you, too,” she said sarcastically, before turning her back on him, half curling into a ball of confused anger and sadness.

“Swan,” he muttered.

“Save it,” she said. “If you’re not going to tell me the truth, I don’t want to hear it.”

Several moments passed, so many that she really thought he was going to remain silent. Then, so quietly she might have missed it if she hadn’t been listening so carefully, he spoke.

“Have you ever woken up one morning and felt like an utter fraud?” he asked.

Her frown deepened. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?” she asked. “Is this about the book?”

“I wish it were about the bloody book, Swan,” he muttered, his his breath close enough that she could feel it puffing against the bare skin of her shoulder. “Just go to sleep.”

“Killian--”

“You’re leaving in the morning, in that deathtrap of yours - I’d like you to be rested before you get on the road. It’s an icy drive this time of year.” He wrapped an arm around her, pulling her back against him and she rested her head against his other arm. He was still keeping her at a distance, but she could feel his concern, his affection, even through such a strange distance. Her mind replayed his declaration to Henry, the passion and conviction in his voice as he’d vowed his love for them both. He hadn’t been lying.

Why the hell would her husband think he was a fraud?

xxx

Emma debated bailing on the trip, but forcing Killian to talk when he clearly wasn’t ready to had never lead anywhere good. So she kissed him and Henry both on the forehead, made them promise to text her updates while she was gone and headed out. Killian had gotten up earlier than she had to make sure the snow chains were on the Bug’s tires and he’d filled the tank up with gas, something she routinely forgot to do until she was already on the road.

Her first night in Rhode Island, Emma logged onto her fake Tinder profile, the one that let her breasts and a tight red dress do all the advertising necessary to pick up any creep in a fifty mile radius. It only took about a hundred left swipes for her mark to pop up and she reluctantly swiped right.

Henry’s text (a picture of the breakfast Killian made him and a row of sad face emojis) interrupted her briefly; she replied that egg whites and salmon were good for a growing boy. Killian’s text (a simple “The boy’s been fed well and sent off to school; come home safe, Swan”) intensified that ache in her chest and she fired off a quick heart emoji in reply. If she started actually texting words, she was afraid word vomit would soon follow and she needed to concentrate on nabbing this dirtbag.

Her skip was laughingly easy to lure but not so seamless to capture. They scuffled outside the restaurant, Emma tackling and handcuffing the guy after a graceless fall sent them both to the icy ground. It was only after she’d handed him off to local law enforcement that she noticed how badly she scraped up her wrist. She rinsed it off in the motel bathroom, but immediately changed into traveling clothes. It was late, but there wouldn’t be traffic at this hour and she’d be home, in bed with her husband, in less than ninety minutes.

Unfortunately, being alone with her thoughts on a long drive and no case to think about meant Emma had little to do but consider Killian’s odd behavior.

When she added it all up - attempting to remind Henry they weren’t actually father and son, the guilt in his eyes, the disinterest in sex, feeling like a fraud - her stomach clenched at the most obvious conclusion: Killian was cheating on her.

Maybe it wasn’t physical. Maybe it was only one time and he didn’t know how to confess. Maybe he had fallen in love with someone else and felt guilty about wanting to leave them. Leave her. Maybe he was only staying for Henry. Maybe he just didn’t know how to tell her he’d made a mistake by marrying her, the same mistake her first foster family had made by wanting to adopt her, only to send her back when she was three.

Emma’s wrist was starting to ache as much as it stung and she worried it might be sprained on top of the scraping. Her vision was also getting blurry, which meant she was probably crying and that always pissed her off, so she used her injured hand to angrily wipe her eyes clear.

If Killian had decided she wasn’t enough, that he wanted something else - that was fine. It would hurt Henry, but they could survive. They were just fine when it was the two of them and they could be a family of two again.

Something hollow started forming in her chest at the thought of no more Killian - no more sullen hours trying to get the words right only to emerge victorious and tumble her into bed to celebrate, no more healthy breakfasts to send them off for the day with ‘vim and vigor,’ no more grown up in the house, no more feeling safe with someone, no more forgetting what it felt like to be a lonely, unwanted little ugly duckling again.

Fucking tears. She was going to get into an accident if she didn’t get a grip on her emotions, but it was impossible when it felt like her whole world was caving in on itself. Killian didn’t lie to her. If he was lying now, it meant… it had to mean something bad, given how long it had gone on, given all the other signs. She wouldn’t be able to make it another night wondering about this. As soon as she got home, she was ripping off the Band-Aid - even if it took several layers of skin with it.

She made a lot of noise coming in the front door, kicking her boots off and leaving them in a messy, wet heap just inside, the way Killian hated. She draped her coat over a chair and caught a look at herself in the mirror by the door - her makeup had run due to all the crying (waterproof my ass) and her hair was pulled back into a severe ponytail, which just made her face look even more gaunt.

“You’re home early.” Killian’s soft voice drifted from the living room and her shoulders hunched in on themselves at the sound of it. The sound of his feet encased in those warm, fuzzy socks Henry loved brought him closer. “Did you get your man?”

Emma turned to look at him and wanted to cry even harder. He was wearing a soft black sweater, one of the many new items they’d purchased for the frigid Boston weather. The dark color made his eyes look even bluer, or maybe that was all the lights she’d just noticed he and Henry must have hung up while she was gone, their whole apartment transformed into a cozy winter wonderland. Like a real family lived here. Like he was planning to stick around until Christmas.

She felt fucking crazy.

“You're hurt,” he said, eyes obviously ticking over her to figure out what was causing her mental breakdown. He moved quickly, his right hand pushing a piece of hair that had escaped her punishing ponytail back behind her ear, thumb skimming over her cheek to trace the black tear track that made it all the more obvious she’d been crying. His eyes were still moving over her face furiously and when he realized she hadn’t been punched or visibly concussed (wouldn’t be the first time) he started scanning the rest of her.

His ex-naval captain’s eagle eye narrowed in on her wrist in a snap and her hand was soon cradled between his right and his prosthetic. He made a tsking sound (chastising her for using water as a disinfectant again) and leaned forward to kiss her forehead, the way he always did when she was hurting. The tears came again but she didn’t try to fight them. He made soft shushing sounds and cradled her hand against his chest protectively, letting her cry it out for a few minutes before gently ushering her into the bathroom.

Emma sat on the sink so he wouldn’t have to crouch and Killian pulled the Neosporin out of the medicine cabinet. He used his teeth to open the bottle then curled her hand over his prosthetic to hold her still. Carefully, he applied the disinfectant, knowing how prone she was to kicking when something stung her. Once he’d gotten a good, thick layer applied, he reached for the gauze.

“Do you think it’s sprained as well?” he asked.

She nodded, unable to make her vocal cords worked and he fetched an ace bandage from the emergency room drawer as well.

“You should get an X-Ray,” he said.

“Maybe,” she agreed, her voice sounding like she’d been crying over a half broken heart for the last hour.

They both knew she wasn’t going to get an X-Ray, but she really, really loved him for worrying about her.

“This is how we met,” she said quietly as he leaned forward, using his teeth to hold one end of the gauze so his right hand could smooth it down.

His gaze snapped up to hers, a wary look in them, and her eyebrows scrunched together. “Remember? My timeless grace?”

If he didn’t even remember how they met, he wouldn’t have to leave her - she was going to kill him.

Killian blinked and nodded slowly, as if the memory was replaying in his mind. He cleared his throat before speaking. “You were carrying drinks for you and Henry. Slipped on a patch of ice. Tore your palm up.”

“You bandaged it with your scarf and tied one end with your mouth. Very ballsy for a total stranger,” she added with an affectionate nudge to his hip with her knee.

“I’m nothing if not bold,” he agreed.

“I never even saw you coming,” she confided. “All those walls and that cynicism and keeping everyone out and I never even saw you coming. I wanted to run so far and so fast from you and I still wanted to jump your bones.”

He scoffed. “You thought I was annoying. And possibly a stalker.”

“I still wanted to jump your bones,” she said. They shared a laugh, but she sobered fast. “I know I did run away after that. I know I… didn’t make it easy.”

Was that it? Was she still more difficult than she thought? Emma thought she’d gotten better at letting him in, that she’d let him all the way in, but maybe… maybe he just got tired of it. Of her. Everyone did eventually, everyone but Henry.

“Emma… I don’t like easy,” he said with that grave tone he sometimes got when he wanted to make sure she understood him. “A man unwilling to fight for what he wants, deserves what he gets. You have always been worth the fight of my life, darling. Always.”

He leaned forward and pressed his lips to her forehead, a soft, reverent thing that made her cry again. He brought her bandaged hand to his mouth, kissed the back of it, her palm, her wrist, the patch of skin on her forearm left bare from his first aid work.

“Do… do I need to fight for you?” she asked, the quiet, scared question nothing like the rage she’d planned to unleash on him during her drive. Funny how Killian being Killian could disarm her in the blink of an eye.

“Oh, luv,” Killian muttered, pressing his forehead to hers. “I have been yours from the moment we met. It just took me a little while to realize it. You’ve done nothing wrong, Emma. I’m sorry. I know I’ve been… I’ll be better.”

“I don’t need you to be better. I need you to be you. I need you to want to be here.”

“I do,” he vowed and that was exactly what it was: a vow. “There is nowhere else for me but by your side, Swan.”

“You’re confusing me,” she whispered, like it was a secret.

“I’m confusing me,” he assured her. “Please just… give me a little time? To figure a few things out?”

Emma sighed. It wasn’t the resolution she wanted, but she felt oddly lighter. They hadn’t talked about anything specific, but already her earlier fears felt ridiculous. Most of them, anyway. At least he wasn’t pretending things were fine - he’d given her months of space to realize she was in love with him in the beginning. She could give him a few weeks now, to figure out whatever was going on in that ridiculously attractive head of his.

“You’ve got four weeks ‘til Christmas,” she grumbled. “I want my husband front and center by then, got it, buddy?”

So she wasn’t nearly as patient or understanding as he was. He knew what he was getting into.

His grin at her words indicated that he did and that he still found her rather charming.

She could live with that. For now.

[dontshootmespence]

Supernatural AU: Episode 7 - Memories Remain

Part 1

Under the mesmerizing whirr of the ceiling fan, he rolled his eyes and groaned, the constant ringing on the other side of the phone driving him crazy. “Baby, come on! Pick up,” he breathed.

Again it went to voice mail. In anger, he spun around and threw the phone onto the bed and watched it bounce into the pillows and onto the floor before picking it up to call her back. “Beka…baby.” Now he was getting frustrated. A talk about picking up his phone calls would need to happen. He shouldn’t have to keep calling like this just to get his girlfriend to answer.

Just as he was about to disconnect the call again, he heard the unmistakable lightness in her voice. Why did she sound so calm? He’d been calling for 20 minutes.

“Baby, what’s wrong?” She sighed, frustration lacing her tone. 

“I’ve been calling you for 20 minutes. Why haven’t you picked up?” He felt anger roiling through his body with each word. “What if it had been an emergency?”

“But it’s not,” she replied. “ It never is. I have a big chem test tomorrow, remember? I’m studying.”

Pushing up with his free hand, he got up and kicked his dresser. His Beka was the smartest girl he’d ever known; she’d be fine. “Baby, you’ll be fine. The Velgard party’s tonight. You said you’d go with me.” All he had to do was sound a little pouty and she’d cave. She always gave in.

In her own home, she curled into her desk, desperate to get him to let it go so she could study and not fail this test. Her fucking professor was making it 35 percent of her grade, so if she failed this she was screwed. “I can’t. I need to study.”

“No you don’t,” he snapped, pacing his dorm as he spoke. “You study constantly. You’re going to pass and you know it. Is it me? You’ve been wanting to go to this party for ages and now you don’t wanna go.”

The two of them went around and around, the pencil breaking in Rebekah’s hand before she gave him what he wanted. She had studied. Not a lot, but some. So she’d probably be fine. “Okay, okay. Let me get changed and I’ll be over in 30 minutes.”

“Finally, yes, I gotta have my girl on my arm.”

When she hung up the phone, he pulled his packet of cigarettes out and lit the tip, embers flaring up red before the smoke hit his lungs. He wasn’t exactly a member of the in-crowd, but Beka was a school-wide beauty. Everyone wanted her. But he had her. He’d look like an idiot if he didn’t show up with her after talking up how they’d just celebrated their three-month anniversary.

After chain-smoking three cigarettes in a row, he pulled on the bracelet Beka had given him for their anniversary, a gift her mother had given to her father more than a decade ago, and checked in the closet for something to wear. Although he’d prefer going in his boxers (the freedom was really something else) it probably wouldn’t be appropriate, so jeans and a t-shirt it was. The first one that caught his eye was the one that Beka hated; she said it was “douchey.” But why should he care? He liked it and that should be all that mattered right?

As he dipped his head into the closet to pick up the shirt that had fallen on the floor, he felt a breeze flash by his foot, sending his hair on edge. He spun around and saw nothing before something else ran behind him again, sending him spinning and falling into the closet door.

“What the fu-?”

Eyes wide and frozen in fear, he stared up to see someone he thought he’d never see again. “You can’t be here,” he breathed, his heart racing faster than it ever had before. “The last time I saw you, you-“

Cutting him off, the middle-aged woman with the stringy brown hair clasped the glass in her hand and shoved it forward, the sound of squelching blood and gargled breaths somehow eerily loud in the midst of the empty dorm room. He reached for his throat, desperate to stop the blood flow, but it slipped through his fingertips - skin growing cold as the smile on her face grew wide.

                                                         --------

Tossing and turning on the couch hadn’t been doing her any good, so instead of thrashing about in futility, Bobbie got up and went for a run to clear her head. She should’ve fought harder to get their father to come with them. No matter what he said, no matter how scared he was of putting his children in harm’s way, it didn’t matter. He didn’t wanna watch them get hurt? Well, fuck it, she didn’t want to watch him get hurt either, or worse, have him get hurt and knowing there wasn’t anything she could’ve done about it because he’d pushed her away.

After sweating her ass off despite the chill in the air, she snuck back into the motel room, which really wasn’t necessary because she was pretty sure a bomb could go off and her brothers wouldn’t wake up. A fifteen-minute shower was all it took to make her feel like a whole new woman. Dean and Sam wouldn’t be as easy to get up and running. Breakfast sandwiches and coffee might work though.

“Oh you really do love me,” Dean said as the unmistakable, thick and mapley scent of bacon wafted into the room. “Bacon, egg and cheese?”

“With double bacon, and ketchup, salt and pepper.”

“Best big sister ever.”

He took an enormous bite and grinned as a piece of bacon fell out of his mouth and onto the crappy comforter. Although Sam was grateful for the sandwich, the coffee was what made a sleepy smile crawl across his face. “How long you been up?”

“Few hours. Went for a run. Took a shower. Then I figured food would get you two up and running. I think we might have a case.”

Sam took a swig of his coffee and hissed at the heat. “You never get up early. Nightmares?”

“Mmmm.” It was about all her brothers were gonna get, at least for now, and they knew it. “Wanna know what I found?”

Dean shot up from the bed, renewed by the rejuvenating power of bacon and came up to kiss her cheek. “Thanks for breakfast. Now gimme something to do.”

She ran her hand through his hair and pushed him and his bacon-y face out of the way. “Scott O’Reilly. 20 year old student at Kent State University died in his dorm room two nights ago from a stab wound to the neck. Thing is there is absolutely zero evidence that anyone was in the room other than him and his girlfriend and the she has a solid alibi for the time of death. Also, the stab wound is jagged, but the murder weapon can’t be found or even identified.”

“You think this could be our kind of thing?” Sam asked. It just seemed like a severe lack of evidence, not necessarily anything supernatural.

In her cursory look through the local papers to see if there was anything here to look into, she’d stumbled upon this story. She’d gotten used to passing judgment on the dead, for better or for worse, and something about Scott O’Reilly rubbed her the wrong way. “Nothing in particular. I just have a bad feeling and figured we’re passing through and have nowhere to be just yet so why not, you know?”

“Sounds good to me,” Dean replied, bacon crunching loudly in his mouth. “But since we have nowhere to go, how about we enjoy our bacon – at least let me enjoy mine because my God, do I love bacon.”

“Is it safe to say it’s your favorite thing in the world?” Sam asked, laughing after he finally took a bite of his own sandwich.

“Top three.”

“And the other two?” He could guess.

Bobbie cut in because Dean had his mouth full. “Whiskey and women. The three change depending on mood.”

With his mouth full, he gave them a thumbs up. “God, this is good.”

Chuckling, Bobbie took a sip of her coffee and fell back on the mattress. “Do you need a moment alone with the bacon?”

                                                        --------

Rain clouds followed them the entire time they drove to the station. All of them felt the threatening storm, but no one wanted to say it out loud. Just because their father was gone yet again didn’t mean that they weren’t thinking about him and the bigger picture that was looming even closer than the car in the side mirror.

They pulled up to the station with just enough time to get inside before the downpour came. “Can I please be the senior officer?” Dean whispered.

“So you want me to be your crony?” Bobbie whispered as they rounded the corner. Whenever they met with police, one of them claimed they were training the other two, considering it was rare that officers were partnered up in teams of more than two.

Bacon had put him in a really good mood this morning and she didn’t have the heart to pull the big sister card on him today. “Okay, fine. Just try not to milk it too much.”

“No guarantees.”

She bit back a retort when an officer asked what they needed help with. “Hi, my name’s Agent Jones, these are my subordinates, trainee agents Flynn and Lennon. We decided to pop in to see what you could tell us about the O’Reilly case.”

“Hi, nice to meet you,” the officer replied, shaking hands with Dean, his eyes quickly scanning the badges Sam and Bobbie held out for him. “I’m Officer Bales. Honestly though, I don’t know what I’m going to be able to tell you that you couldn’t already find out from the papers. O’Reilly died of a stab to the throat. We’ve got no murder weapon, no motive, nothing.”

“Do you think we could get any information you have on him?” Sam asked.

“I don’t see why not.” The officer walked them all toward a file room in the back of the station.

“What about his girlfriend?” Bobbie asked not realizing Dean had been about to ask the same question. “Her alibi checks out?”

“Yeah, she was in her dorm room studying for hours before he called her. Her two roommates vouched for her.”

They needed to check her out anyway. Just because she didn’t do it didn’t mean someone connected with her couldn’t have been involved. “We should go interview her anyway. She might be able to point us in the right direction,” Dean added.

“She has an alibi.”

“I know,” Dean replied. “But she may know if he had any enemies.”

“Scott was a good kid.”

“Look officer, as much as I can appreciate that that’s what you saw, it’s more likely that someone very close to him, like a girlfriend, would know things about him that you wouldn’t.”

Shrugging, the local townie handed over the files on Scott and gave them directions to his dorm and his girlfriend’s home. “We’ll keep you in the loop if we find anything,” Dean said, saluting Officer Bales with the files in hand.

“Alright, what do we have…Agent,” Bobbie said, smirking as she leaned over to take a glance at the files. “Your subordinates are dying to take part in the case.”

“I had to. I just had to and you know it.”

“Yea, yea,” Sam laughed, smacking Dean’s arm with the back of his hand. “Anything in there that might point us in the right direction?”

Dean shook his head disappointingly before Sam ripped the files from his grasp. “What the hell, man?”

“There is something.”

“Where?”

“There.” Bobbie glanced near Sam’s finger. There was nothing there. A blank space.

“Yes, it’s a blank space,” he said, reading their collective minds. “But there shouldn’t be. These types of papers are formatted. If there was nothing there, then there shouldn’t be a blank space. That means-“

Bobbie slipped into the car as she interrupted Sam’s train of thought. “There was something there and it’s been kept off the record.”

“Exactly,” he replied. “And it’s something the police are aware of.”

@remember-me-forever-silent-angel @gaylemonshark  @marveldivergentouatdctvfangirl @lalirang @averagekansan @addsomesalt @stusbunker @sebba-hiddles @fanfictionrecommendations-com @hoppy519 @thatwrestlingfan91 @extremeobsessions101 @spence-imagines @bettercallsabs @whaaatthefuuuuck @letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked @your-imagination-runs-wild @cryinglots @steggy01 @gigilame @sedulous-mind @a-unique-girls-heaven @just-antiyou @rmmalta @ties-n-suits @veroinnumera @original-criminal-fanfics @eurusholmmes @fanficienjoyedreading @astridstark13 @demonlover87 @kennybud @shittyafblogwnopoint @pleasantlyfadingpeace @bulldozed88 @a-gir1-has-n0-name 

[lgbtfalloutwinterholiday]

[fic] Deck The Halls (Hancock)

Happy Holidays!

Here’s @dragonie ‘s submission for @noneedforsuspicion featuring Hancock!

Characters: Hancock, Kent, KL-E-0, Dr Amari, Maccready, Daisy Summary: Written for the following prompt: “I would like someone's depiction of a winter holiday in Goodneighbor, featuring our favorite Mayor Hancock. No sole survivor necessary - I just wanna see the residents of Goodneighbor celebrating sometime during the winter.“ Work Count: 3,222 Rating: Safe For Work  

“There.”

   Gnarled hands meticulously placed the wreath into position, shifting it until it sat just so.

   “Nice.” Mayor Hancock gave a low whistle as he admired Kent’s work. “Pretty as a picture.”

   “You really think so?” Kent smiled bashfully down from the stepladder. “I know it’s not a patch on the ones we had before the war, but…”

   It meant a lot to him, Hancock knew. He’d seen him, these past few weeks, creaky fingers weaving scraggly wasteland conifer into rings, carefully handling tattered ribbons, baubles of bent and painted scrap, as if they were delicate treasures. His eyes shone, and that was a rare enough thing in these wastes. Lotta people drifted into Goodneighbor with hollow eyes, looking for Jet or booze or Irma’s pods or whatever took the edge off life for a time; was a breath of fresh air to see a man made so happy by a couple of twigs and some dolled-up hunks of metal.

   “‘Course. Really brightens up the old place.” He grinned, and looked Kent up and down, nice and slow. “Ain’t just talking about the leaves, either.”

   He could’ve sworn he saw a flush creep across Kent’s scarred cheeks as the ghoul carefully stepped down from the ladder.

   “You really think they’ll come?” he asked, and Hancock caught the uncertainty in his eyes, the worry conflicting with hope. “I mean, I know it won’t mean much to them, except maybe Daisy, but, y’know… I-I was just thinking…” He trailed off.

   “Sure they will,” Hancock reassured him, clapping a hand on the man’s shoulder. “Goodneighbor don’t usually pass up an excuse for a party.” He paused, and added: “Come to think of it, we don’t usually wait for an excuse in the first place. And you’re handin’ one out with a pretty little bow on it. It’ll be fine, Kent. You’ll see.”

   “Thanks, Hancock,” Kent flashed him a little smile. “It really means a lot to me.”

   “Anytime, love.” Hancock returned fire with his most charming grin (and that was pretty damn charming, if he did say so himself), and gave Kent a peck on his wrinkled cheek before drawing away. “Now, let’s get this party started, hey? Guests are gonna be here any minute, and I got a reputation to maintain as the best goddamn host in town.”

   ***

   Snow was falling in Boston, the Commonwealth caught in the grips of a nuclear winter. Hancock had to admit, it looked kinda pretty in the dim glow of the lights strung over the square, even if it did end up as a layer of radioactive slurry on the cracked cobblestones.

   Kent whistled happily as he busied himself with dinner, scurrying back and forth between pots at a makeshift cooking station in Hancock’s quarters. Hancock laid out a festive spread of Bobrov’s and Day Tripper - because this was a Goodneighbor party, after all - and couldn’t help but smile at how cheerful the man seemed, for once.

   Kent had always looked a little more down around this time of winter, Hancock had noted through the years, spent most of his days cooped up in Irma’s memory pods. He’d always been a little curious, and this year they had a good kinda thing going on, so he decided to ask Kent about it.

   Kent was hesitant to speak, at first; he always was, when it came to the things important to him, as if he half expected the listener to mock him for his thoughts. A little bit of patience got him to open up, though, and Hancock finally found out the reason behind Kent’s funk.

   He missed Christmases with his family, before the war, he said; the whole big Irish clan huddled around a table, eating something called a “ham” (presumably, thought Hancock, not the taciturn bouncer of the Third Rail), drinking brandy and putting gifts under a tree and generally having a hell of a time. It had been one of the highlights of the year, for him, right up there with the start of a new season of the Silver Shroud. But now the end of December just felt lonely, a reminded of all that he’d lost when the world got blown to shit. People in the Wasteland didn’t mark the old holidays so much; seemed like after the bombs, folks were too busy just struggling to survive to celebrate anything, so things got lost. Goodneighbor threw one hell of a New Year’s bash - at least, when there was anyone around sober enough to remember what the date was - but that was about the only Old World party they recognised. Wasteland had made its own since then, ‘course, but as far as Kent was concerned, it just wasn’t the same.

   So Hancock had had an idea. Goodneighbor was almost kinda like a family anyway - a big, dysfunctional family that always bogarted the Jet, but hell, he’d take it over his own asshole of a brother any day - so why not cheer Kent up with a little wintertime shindig of their own? Seemed to be working, too; Kent had been actually peppy these past few weeks, planning food, decorations, presents, with a kind of spring in his step that, on anyone else, would make Hancock think he’d been into the Day Tripper.

   Daisy was the first to arrive, bearing a parcel wrapped up in old copies of the Boston Bugle and tied with a frayed blue ribbon. As another pre-war ghoul, she was one of the oldest residents of Goodneighbor, and one of the few who had any more than a vague idea of what Christmas was. A Diamond City mainstay until his goddamn brother had kicked all the ghouls out, Daisy was an old friend. She had been the one who calmed him down and taught him what to expect when his own skin started peeling off and his hair falling out in clumps. He greeted her now with a broad grin and a quick hug around the shoulders.

   “Thanks for doing this, Hancock. Means a lot to Kent, I know.” A smile passed across her face as she stepped inside the Old State House, taking in all the decorations which Kent had so lovingly crafted. At pride of place in the old hall was a raggedy old pine tree, decorated with strings of lights and whatever shiny things Kent and Hancock could get their hands on - old, scavenged baubles and ornaments; bits of aluminium foil shredded into makeshift tinsel; even a handful of spit-polished caps hanging in the upper branches where no one (not naming any names) (MacCready) could pocket them. Atop the tree was a star long snapped off an old neon sign, some chain diner in the ruins around them. Daisy looked the tree up and down, a faraway gleam in her eye. “Huh. Haven’t had a Christmas since my husband passed, you know. Didn’t feel right, without him there, and then the war happened and no one felt much like celebrating. Takes me back, I gotta say.” She placed the present carefully under the tree, and gave Hancock a wry look. “You’re a regular old Saint Nick, Hancock.”

   “Heh,” Hancock chuckled as he pried the cap off of a Gwinnett Pale with the buckle of his boot. “Probably the first time anyone called me a saint.”

   A cheerful cry of “Hancock, you old bastard, where’s the booze already!” erupted from the door, and Daisy laughed.

   “Well, Mayor,” she waved him off with a smile. “Your adoring public awaits. I’ll see if Kent needs a hand with anything. You go press the flesh, or whatever it is you politicians do.”

   “Get stinkin’ drunk, mostly.” Hancock waggled what was left of his eyebrows before heading to the door to greet the family.

   ***

   The party was just getting into a good little swing - helped in no small amount by Fred Allen’s liberal stocks of “party favours” - when Kent gave a hesitant rap on the door jamb. Barely audible above the chatter, but Hancock noticed anyway, and waved him over.

   “Erm…” Kent looked uncertainly at the increasingly rowdy crowd, and cleared his throat. “Dinner’s all ready, everyone! So, ah… come with me and, well, eat up!”

   The hubbub did not even waver. Hancock saw Kent’s shoulders sag; he looked dispirited, and worse, unsurprised. No, this would not do at all. He took a gun from the hands of an on-duty Neighbourhood Watcher, climbed a few steps up the spiral staircase, and fired off a short burst into the brickwork. The talking cut short, and all eyes fell upon him, though among them, only Kent actually looked shocked. He didn’t go to enough of the parties, Hancock thought; poor guy didn’t know the Goodneighbor way of getting a room’s attention.

   “All right,” he tossed the gun back to the guardsman, who caught it after some fumbling. “Listen up, you lot. Kent here’s cooked us all a great fucking dinner, so we’re gonna eat like kings tonight, ya hear? Follow me!” He was met by a round of cheers and laughter (and one smartass comment from MacCready about “home-cooking from Hancock’s hubby”) as he led the people up the staircase.

   Kent slipped through the crowd of merrymakers to Hancock’s side. On some sudden, sappy impulse, Hancock took the man’s hand in his own. Kent started at first at the sudden, public contact, but smiled and did not pull away.

   “They really respect you, huh?” Kent sounded almost wistful in this.

   Hancock shrugged.

   “They’re good folks. Just gotta know how to talk to ‘em.”

   Hancock’s nose may have fallen off a few years back, but he still had a sense of smell. Normally, in Goodneighbor, this was not an asset. Tonight, however, he was goddamn thankful, because there were some delicious fucking scents wafting from his living room. Kent detached from him to straighten up the plates, looking bashful - not that he had any reason to be. Hancock knew the man liked to cook, when he could muster up the enthusiasm for it, but damn if he hadn’t outdone himself tonight. Each plate held steaming slices of roast Brahmin, heaped with generous dollops of some complex but delicious sauce Kent had been experimenting with the past few weeks (Hancock, of course, has been all too eager to volunteer as a taste-tester). Beside the meat was a serve of roasted carrots and tatoes and a buttered cob of corn. In the middle of the table was a stack of bowls and a tureen of rich tato soup, and two neatly-arranged rows of Gwinnett and Nuka. All in all, it was the kind of spread that would have Wellingham back in Diamond City twitching his multipurpose appendages in envy.

   The Goodneighbor lot fell on the meal like a yao guai on a juicy radstag, giving Kent a few words of thanks and appreciative back-pats on their way. He honestly deserved more, in Hancock’s admittedly biased opinion, but his eyes shone nonetheless at the sight of everyone gathered here, on this important day for him, happily eating his food. This might be what he missed most, Hancock reckoned; Kent didn’t mingle with the others nearly enough, and he’d always thought he must be kinda lonely, manning that radio station the whole day. It was what prompted Hancock to reach out to him in the first place - “a mother hen,” Daisy once called him with a laugh, ‘cause he didn’t like to see people looking down - and that, he reckoned, had been one of the better decisions of his life.

   They laughed and chatted as they feasted. (Well, most of them did, at any rate. “Oh, yes, KL-E-0, please eat with us, with your fleshy human mouth!” grumbled the dulcet tones of an Assaultron.) The plates were nearly empty and the tureen nearly drained when Kent stood up at the head of the table, a big smile on his crinkled face.

   “I’d-I’d just like to say,” he began meekly. “That it really means a lot to me that-”

   Once again, though, the gathered crowd was so absorbed in their conversations and their jokes (and one very intense game of dice that appeared to be going on in the far corner) that few faces even turned to heed him. Kent opened his mouth, once, and then sat down, looking rather disappointed. Before Hancock could call them to attention again, though, Daisy scowled and slammed her bottle of beer down hard on the table, causing a clatter of cutlery (along with a spray of suds over an unfortunate ghoul in a yellow trenchcoat, whose name Hancock had never quite caught).

   “Hey, Kent’s trying to thank you all, here!” Daisy admonished the gathered crowd. “He’s gone to a lot of trouble for this; least you could do is hear the man out.”

   There were a few mutters, at this; MacCready, at least, had the grace to look a bit guilty.

   “Thanks, Daisy,” Kent said uneasily. “But it’s okay, really, I don’t need-”

   “Just ‘aving a good time here, Dais,” Charlie swivelled one eyestalk away from his dice game. “No bloody call to be rude about it.”

   “I don’t know, Charlie,” Magnolia turned from her conversation with Ham. “I think we should listen to the man. He’s been such a dear.” She fixed Kent with a stunning smile, which he returned gratefully.

   “If it’s about the Silver Shroud,” Fahrenheit snorted as she showed KL-E-0 her new gun. “I’ve heard it already.”

   “Hey, Fahrenheit.” Hancock’s voice was uncharacteristically stern as he addressed his bodyguard. “Don’t be like that.”

   “No, no,” Kent looked as if he wanted to slip between the floorboards and disappear. “It’s really- you don’t need to-”

   “Sorry we’re late, sweeties!” A familiar voice cut through what might have been a brewing argument as Irma swept through the doorway, resplendently dressed as usual. Amari followed her close behind, carefully carrying a large tray of pitchers.

   “What you got there, Doc?” MacCready eyed the milky-looking drinks with interest.

   “Eggnog.” The good doctor set the tray down carefully on the table. “A traditional Christmas beverage, or so it seems. With Mr. Connolly’s help, we have tried to match the recipe as closely as possible to that in his memories.”

   “Sorry we couldn’t get it exact, sugar,” Irma shrugged off her fluffy winter coat with an apologetic glance at Kent. “I’m sure Deathclaw eggs will do just as well for taste, though, and go an awful lot further besides.”

   “And why,” Bobbi leaned back in her chair and tapped her cigarette without bothering to find an ashtray, the ashes falling to the ancient carpet to mingle with all the other stains. “Do we want to slurp down the contents of a Deathclaw nest?”

   “Because,” Amari replied shortly. “It’s got a medically inadvisable amount of brandy in it.” This was met with approving nods and whistles from the Goodneighbor crowd.

   “Thank you, Dr. Amari, Irma,” Kent nodded to the pair, smiling with watery eyes. “You’re always so good to me.”

   “All right, everybody!” Hancock hoisted a glass in one hand, a pitcher in the other. “These two lovely ladies are being so kind as to bring the booze, so everyone better grab a glass and drink the hell up!”

   The cheers from this announcement echoed through the Old State House as the people moved as one towards the prospect of a free alcoholic beverage.

   ***

   The booze (and chems) flowed freely as the night wore on, and soon all were merry, or at least as merry as programming and personality allowed. Magnolia led the crowd in all the carols Daisy and Kent could remember, and when those ran out, they switched smoothly to some popular pre-war hits, the more risque the better. Kent, emboldened by drink or excitement or both, clinked a spoon against a glass for attention.

   “I just wanna say,” he began, his smile broad, his face flushed. “It really means a lot to me that you all came here tonight-”

   “Aw, don’t mention it, Kent, you big sap,” MacCready grinned, Bobrov’s Best spilling from his shotglass as he swayed unsteadily. A few whoops and whistles erupted from the inebriated townsfolk.

   “It’s true, though.” Kent’s eyes looked a little dewy. “Having everyone gathered here today, sharing this with me, really… really takes me back. It’s been so long since- oh, god…”

   He broke off as the tears pooled in his eyes and dripped down his craggy face, eliciting scattered clapping, several cheers, and one derisive snort (probably Bobbi) from the peanut gallery. Hancock wrapped an arm around the man’s shoulders and gave him a comforting squeeze as Irma produced a lacy handkerchief from somewhere deep in the voluminous sleeves in her dress. Kent wiped his eyes dry and blew his nosehole to a soothing litany of “There, there”s before handing it back to her with an apologetic look.

   “Sorry about that.” His face brightened up, and he clapped his hands together. “Now, how about we exchange some presents? It’s not really Christmas until there’s wrapping paper all over the floor.”

   “You heard the man,” Hancock called to the crowd. “Get your asses down to the tree!”

   Like anything else in Goodneighbor, there was no order to the gift-giving. Some people had brought presents for all their friends, some only for one person, and some had not bothered at all. Fahrenheit gave KL-E-0 a hug and a peck on the metal cheek as she unwrapped a shiny new tri-barrel minigun mod for Ashmaker. MacCready sobbed drunkenly into Daisy’s shoulder as he clutched a patched-up toy robot for Duncan. Irma smiled knowingly as Amari gasped at the sight of her very own neuroisotropic cerebrospatulator.

   “I know it’s not much, but-” Kent pressed a parcel into Hancock’s hands. The paper was crinkled and the bow was crooked but damn if it didn’t look beautiful. What was inside wasn’t too shabby either; an intact bottle of a damn fine single malt, one that would’ve cost a pretty penny even before the bombs blew the distilleries to hell.

   “It’s perfect, love,” he grinned. “Here, I got you something too.”

   “Oh, but you’ve already-” Kent’s protest was cut short as Hancock proffered his present with a flourish. Kent unwrapped it, and was rendered speechless by its contents - a collection of comics featuring the Silver Shroud, many of which had been missing from Kent’s own collection.

   “Paid some mercs to go combing the ruins,” Hancock said. “Ain’t all of them, but this is what they came up with.”

   Kent looked up.

   “I- Thank you, Hancock. Thank you so much, for everything. I really can’t ever repay you.”

   Hancock hooked an arm around Kent’s shoulder.

   “Hell, Kent, you just keep bein’ you, and that’s enough for me. Hey, everyone!” He snatched a half-empty bottle of rum from a counter and lifted it up, calling out to his gathered friends. “To Kent!”

   “To Kent!” Goodneighbor cheered back, and held up their own bottles and glasses and Jet inhalers, and the hall was once more filled with noise and laughter. Hancock turned to look at Kent, and found that Kent was already looking at him.

   “Thank you, Hancock,” Kent’s voice was soft and full of emotion. He leaned in, and pressed his lips to Hancock’s, and the party continued long into the night.

[kurasmaniac-blog]

#it needed to be more violent, I’m going to burry you, you don’t have magic.

In the hospital

daddy dropped me

there are historical figures and concubine queens

they chose me as martyr for my workout regime and as reward for my honesty

little girls resemble solid black babies who try and eat your face openly

tried to fix their dented heads when they got dropped from their cribs

syringles full of things slightly acidic

they opened my trachea

i was unconcious and interrogated

i begin smacking them around

TELLING them how stupid it was to do a thing like that

still managed to tell them a few things they didn't know

at home

finger nail clipping troubles

black widow bites

white python with yellow rings

they think they can abandon me if not completely financially

put hom outside

generaly not there very much

where?

pedophile

brother

no tv

on and off one way then the other

they refuse to feed me

two faced talking to kids who would have been my frinds

i don't get hurt very much i guess

tee ball

pedophiles

dented a kids head for harassing me

coach thinks he can fuck my little butt

i knocked half his teeth out

one swing

no damage initially but as he tries to go back to get my poor little butt hole

i was three

they all talk to eachother about what a bad little shit i must be

pedophile kids in day care #1

moved on to a second

fought every kid who asked me

knocked a kids teeth out for being a little mexican and trying to give everyone HIV

teacher knew the two intruders and tried to drug me

one single cop shows up somehow tries to break one of my wrists

i can see he is full of crying and try to assist him mentally

i continue fighting kids relentlessly

residual growing from the drugs

in and out seeing it all conciously

people try to break my legs

their wish dreams begin manafesting showing me broken memories and arguing that they had done what they said

im still 100% in tact

my grandmother on each side trys to rape me

assorted shit they try and feed me

elementary school starting with kindergarten

i rip a little girls broken arm off basically

a few more kids say they have fought me

little girl tries putting paper clips in my head

i bend her jaw with two punches

she loses her mind and says "i just got that off"

my soul smiles up at them openly

first grade second grade the cops had already seen me

i loved jumping off swings

but i had hurt so many people god came down and put my face in the ground

as high as the roof landing solely and flat on my face

i bled crainially

a puddle of clear liquid on my face and desk they would have licked me

stop defending yourself you're fucking the kids up

kid thinks he is hercules and wants to help everyone by trying to break my nose

i lie to him like they had lied to me

my nose is clearly not broken

i lose more of the kids its like they're just not there

i lose the ability to run without pain

dentistry

teeth filed

suppposidly removed for breaking the coaches face

second set is given to me

i had only walked into school twice even at that point

ultra decked a kid because a girl said he was a little fucker "stop raping me" they said

more drugs for beating so many of their children

kids who had been to my house lose it and go after things pets and family

there was supposed to be a funeral at some point they tried to kill me

i broke a toe walking down to the kitchen for a drink

i was sent back home from hell and scared the shit out of everyone royaly

im no longer capable of hearing them try and explain their reasons to me

one night i woke up having to remind myself to breath

brother and girlfriend kill parents

they go after me

putting cigarettes out in my nose

trying to cut

and failing horribly

the girl was daughter of a police officer whose face i had also broken right after his daughter

at a friends house other dad and second son come hope after going to the hospital having tried teaching the boy fighting and yanking his neck breaking the spine they

they had refused treatment and his head falls off in my arms

i had still only used violence defensively

i refuse to take karate for fear of perminantly damaging a student then instructor in that order

on anotyher night the dad of the dead boy tries to fuck my poor little butt hole

my only explanation is i simply don't and can't have the fucking of my butt magically

loss of memory

cop dughter girl has doctors try and cut off my arms and legs leave a for fork in my chest and chain me to my bed

the chains are broken i manifest new arms and legs which i use a bit to grab the girls face a bit and i notice they urge me to not hurt the girl by fading in and out

there are too mny things in my list here for me to just be full of shit believe me

sixth grade camp for 2 of the 7 day week a proctor dissapears for judging me and another kid and trying to put shit on at least my ear

he dissapears

my pants and broken belt fell off in front of a girl and i notice she has trouble not noticing my nuts

jr high first new friend trys to hold me under water but i didn't like it and shattered one of his testicles he has one

at a girls party somehow i overstayed my welcome so they try and cut my face off paint it with tatoo ink burn bitch at then shun me

before i can get out i find myself inside the house and the girl freaks out she wanted me to leave because my mother followed me in and i had to bitch slap her

drugs

i make a big scene talking to my mom on a cell phone they don't like me

the girls dad carrys me outside by the shirt and puts me directly into mothers car

pipe bomb

met tiesto he lived there i guess

the girl was rape/fucked because people knew my parents thinking of them poorly

i would have to have at least one of these mentioned having this many

havent done homework since second grade

little herculese still thinks of bending one of my arms so i shove a foot right up under his girlfriends butt in a class

on an extended field trip a fat kid drugs me and i hear i defiled a sanctuary but don't have memory of crying myself to sleep much less living with it like a mistake at all actually

kids had put shit in their pockets and thought of me

i don't get to go to the girls second party

on the final days of school field trip i miss the buss call but find some kids who stayed also find myself out by a buss and rape a police officer to get myself put home

i had robbed a crain game and grabbed at least 15 stuffed toys

i was punnished for not doing the monkey bars right and dislocate a sholder but still manage to get to the top the climbing pole

teleport frisbe

a bee flies right up into my shorts and didn't seem to want to leave

im debating not going back to add in all the other things for elementary school typing this is tiresome in itself

high school

staying late after school eventually turns to my brother throwing my dad a surprise party where i had died in the bathroom party girl put magnesium on my hed and it melted its way right through me

the bathroom is a mess and my dad watched me die

i pop back up and walk out into the living room naked not having clothes some mexican kids tried to piss all over my room

there must have been something wrong with my dad for refusing reason like he did i hear i knocked teeth out of his face for my poor little butt holes honor

barbeque injector to the heart

huge trap door spider made a snack of me

people tried to kill my cat

loss of vision but there were people who tried talking to me

the police had investigated the corpse in the bathroom and say it wasn't me

i smiled

stabbing for my method of provocation

soemthing fucked me

someone cut the skin off my left arm and tried to wear it

the next day i walk back to the hangout just fine

people threw rocks at my mother i didn't make it all the way home conciously

i thuroughly haunted a school performance and broke a girls face for their indirectivity

my bend in my jaw is still there

i don't go to my fathers house anymore after that party

find myself at my mothers and know not much more than that her housband breathes heavily when hes angry

when im at another house with one of his kids i end up staying for a week strait

when they wre drinking they poison me

on another night i make it too the bathroom after drinking heavily and think of it as a victory

i wake up in the bathroom with my left hand clutched around a puking girls pony tail shes screaming WAKE UP WAKE UP don't put my head in the toilet

as i take it off my hand responds slugishly with each finger prying itself off individually starting from the left pinky

i clutch my hand and call back to sleep

residual

i have a few short visions one of a neck readjustment i enjoy pranoidly

another of my mother and her housband trying to get me to leave that house why not just put me outside

i get a car

i drift around this same turn in my city 10 times having looked at the reason and ignoring my good way out i slam one front left axel into the curb breaking it loose then take a right turn and make it to a spot to park

the tire stayed on and they cannot police me

im gifted a few dips in the road and scrape part of a plastic under carrige piece off partially but being half an inch thick it cannot have happened

i was smoking at a church and let a guy try my manual car without me i hear a loud crash but the car seems fine later i realize he must have tried to blow the transmission seeing how the car acted just after

the car now runs on me

another set of people tests me at first mostly with steroids in a single spot cutting drugging

when someone threatens me i still just tell them to hurry the fuck up

drugs

a few long trips drugs found a girl with "tongue fur" which i cant have because earlier i was given a yellow funguns that was "if you're not dead in a week that's not what this is" i lived and the fungus formed a line around the horizontal rim of my tongue

there is a tackle box on every corner and everyone is on a foreign telephone netowrk

one night i appear just in front of my drive way pull in and am followed throught the door shot up and left unconcious

earlier there had been mexican workers broght from a separate city so many that step father is shuned "you never bring them back"

if a person fails it is clearly their fault or literal mind rape possibly

i made the girl who showed interest hot and for a while she thinks of it as raping me until she gets HIV

the last mentioned group of people one night summon me with wishes to go and have a rave far away and by the end the only thing i can say is they couldn't afford what I bought them by being there

a girl of them is kidnapped and raped supposidly

i tried many times after being shot up maybe 10 times taking pills and not smoking to pull her ass back to my car but the best i can do is offer my sholder for stabbing

the brakes became clogged with sand

we were moved and i took people home

the girl is recovered by one of the group and her authority father she had jondis

the now hot rape girl and a guy had given HIV to many people including both their families

i got a job

i somehow broke the computer system at that restourant but i had been driving my car with parifanalia and a broken tail light for long enough to get the idea i should use this chance to continue my high school work of being there weather anyone liked it or not

the cop whos sons head had fallen off in my arms tied to put a harpoon slug in my left eye

one morning on the way to school my windows had been rolled up and the frost was heavy on my windshield

i back out at a point of defrosting thinking it would clear up but find myself in the same place as before looking right at the answer clearly but not able to act

i passed throught a pillar my mother having been pushed into the drive way and proctor on the corner of my mountain rode street where there were some kids waiting for a buss i had never noticed

hercules had killed one of my cats for raping his home and i end up running over a kid who was playing in the street

the proctor pulls a boi knife and puts it through my face i have a vision of POW soldiers being hydrolically injected so i say no

one of the kids starts yelling about how a little gir had started crying and i pull off to make more magic

parts of the kids body were stuck to the bottom of my car and i took all of it strait to the closest parking space at the school to the school

there were police waiting but they just shoot so i vanish again losing memory not really knowing

the puddle was hercules' little cousin and my cat was at home

i did mushrooms up in the mountains and played car pinball all the way down to a friends house

the police showed up there but i had already fallen asleep from eating too many mushrooms

at the school graduation there was a special surprise for me in the form of some guy holding my diploma who the just ran thinking i didn't have it but did

father was there and tried to rip it in half i vanish again

my year book had been handed around the whole school

i didn't see it at all i'll make some wish for that later as long as not too much is a staged story

many people have HIV at this point

one final night after work i had been drugged for a week or so by the guy who brought the HIV back from cuba

i cant do anything but hurt people

she stood there in the hall unable to call me a bitch without explanation and I finally understood psychology

that part of their face is bent, so is mine but if it actually matters i wont ever care

i don't have HIV but i like to think that maybe some had been let go

i don't know how much of that acid they gave me but i drove home parked turned the music up as my brain dried out

if anyone had an objection i didn't hear of it right then

brother and the second cop had the second cops dad take drills to my teeth at a party i was summoned to

the damage wasnt immediate but later and just some

if that kid was hercules then my tee ball coach was zues whose lack of teeth have fucked my head up for years

i went to the planned parenthood and almost was raped but found myself outside

i was taken to two 5150's where by the end one had missing people the the other had seen me inside a secret wall room

i end up in the mountains one night and a kid with heppatitis shoots me up

everyone has a fucking needle

historical figures all around along with a zues and herculese makes me think there once was an after life but they refused to take responsibility and leave it there before showing up here to rape little boys

i raped and took a walk through the rave in LA one night on invitation apparently party girl told me i was a fagot

i didn't pay but i still even got inside after tiesto himself had failed to just walk up and beat me

once inside i was split into five went everywhere then took a seat up in the top section

they asked me to leave twice played me part of a song saw my brother and floated down to a door across the crowd from where I was

ruffles?

i landed on the other side near the enterance to the VIP section but just walked out into the fog

oh

went the wrong way and found myself home turned the music up and began wrenching around my bent faw right side

finally once i headed around to the back drive way it was loud again but i had a magic barrier that kep the high school kids away and the kids kept the other people away

my head started screaming at me and i was alone with it to beat as time went on

my psichiatrist heard me once say that the human trafficing people couldn't do anything about me either so they decided t kill me

one night i was sick with the flu had a heart attack

another day i went out to mow the lawn but i had gotten so clogged by the medications there was some pain

a while after i see my drivers license picture looks just like the kid from terminator two after he beat that hooker

on walks i found things i had never seen a mushroom that reminded me of a lamp shade red fat butt spiders like a black widow and small tube scrap that looked like it had been cut

i was going to use it as a blunt crutch but thought it might be metal lit one end and held it at the other

it was hot in less than 1 second and probably cold before i dropped it

i think about it having the mark of being cut and a piece left from it being broken off but i don't think people have anything like it

i threw it away thinking nobody would ever give a fuck who cares i found it on a walk no you don't have it

i have the kings crown magnet still

on the way i had broken kids cops an fbi agent but who gives a fuck i was born in a hospital

the phich meds were good for a while and i had gone back to laughing then suddenly it turned drastically to extreme discomfort the word for which people still don't acknowlege

it was that way for at least a year of painful discomfort not being able to sit still or stand

until one day i decided to give a bit and stop taking the medication

then the drugs quietly gently turned back a few different attempts later

but the yelling i had done in my room and the music had attracted me attention again i didn't hear of any of it from a person at all

nother guy dances down my hallway uninvited bounces into my room and tries to flip the light switch but the bulb breaks and im sitting there blinded by the light of my computer screne

they cant hear me thinking

someone got the little girl at the end of the street the tongue fur right the fuck up in the top end of it

i herd some people outside my window even my land lord so i guess they cant get the fuck out of my house either

i got my new house of my own in a mobile home park and in the first few days someone had assigned a hagared lady to try and do "something"

once the pandemic hit in the first few days there was a guy in a truck and not knowing well enough to stay away i talked to him

my casual manerisms concerned the people from down the street

but after the builders tried to crack the house in half and the HIV kids spitting at my father

[bigdickfartsapolka]

A Liveblog, because why not?

I, SCOTTICVS, being of stupid mind and tired body, have just atumbled upon the youtube that has "The Bravest Warriors, Season 1 (Every Episode)" and see that season 2 is in the suggested videos. I know nothing about it, and have only heard clips on tiktoks of catbug which is what made me search it, and so. I have come to the decision. That now, having seen 3 episodes. I will be live-blogging the rest of the episodes as I watch them, because this shit is too hilarious to not share with someone somewhere, so I am going to scream into the void until the void sends me suggestions that share whatever the fuck this sense of humor is back to me.

Episode 1, they are stuck in a timeloop and only learn about it at minute 3 of 5

How do they escape? They see their own corpses (2 sets) and decide "ain't no way I'm goin' in there". Episode over. BRILLIANT!

Episode 2, mystery dude called a FeelsLord or some biz shows up, talks all cryptically about the future and powers and then says psyche and makes puppies made of chocolate appear. Being as it is a sciency show, I bet they were all... Chocolate... LABS.

(I will not be apologizing for that, nor any other of my jokes. It was perfect and if you disagree then you’re wrong, and don’t click through to read more, because there will be a lot more that bad or worse... I’m sure of it already. I haven’t seen this show before at all, but I already love it.)

Episode 3! The holodeck is also the bathroom, which apprently they are all cool with just sharing as a crew because what are boundaries? I guess? And then the waterbuffalo dies by swarm of bees, which. Wow. That has such a D&D vibe to it. But even better, when Beth comes in, they're all just not sure if she saw or not, and then when she leaves she shows she totally did and locks them all in and loads up whatever the fuck BUTTER LETTUCE fantasy, Beth program 3 was, where the stripclub is all reverse-centaurs? And they all have a ..... Butter lettuce party in a spa? There's a hot tub? It's wild, but wonderful.

Episode 4. Here we go. First time viewing and fully new to me material from here on out. Weee. They're on a bus? Sorta? "SIGNS. THEY'RE EVERYWHERE IN THE FUTURE" Hahahahaha. And this kid. Can manifest toast. Alright, ... Oh. Too much toast. Dude. Memory loss episode. Fun? Wild. Everyone forgets everything. And the pilot decided to bail out and died in the vaccuum of space. Wow. what a bizarre show... JELLYKID, YES!... JELLYKID, NOOO! We assist peeps. Yeah. Hahaha. We're here to help. Jrllykid exclusively makes bread. And bad choices. I hope we see him again.

Memory Donk convention!?... Wooooow. Hahahahaha. President Memory Donk. Oh my. Oh, the best friend. But the kiss... But no. But okay. Pretty obvious where that is going to be going? Or not. Depends on whether they're gonna be trying to subvert or not and to what extent, etc.

...

Eposode 5! Buncheck. All about the booty this episode. Ooh. Avoiding the 100 years of baaad if they don't have things go well. Oh no. Poor little panic guy gets disappeared. Hahaha. Wooow. All about the butts and the dancing. Ooh! The guys butt said "Bully!" I love that when people say that. But oh no. Trouble. Ah! But the cut-in. Spark some jealousy. Yes, guy grows a spine, which is connnected to his enormous butt! And now they're doing buttstuff? Planet saved, by butt stuff. ... Moving on!

Episode 6! Ooh. We open on shooting and volcanos. Fun fun. A bomb. The EMOTION LORD! "I've been surviving alone on burritos for 8 long years." Let's quit spooning in the bouncy house and storm that hive! Hahahaha. More gunfire. Explosions. Emotion Lord claims to be Chris from the future. Woah, wait what? Denial, classic first response, good job Chris. I ain't your peppermaster. This show is so freakin' wild. The concierge, isn't he cute in his high chair. Ooh, no. Don't ask about the future. Temporal parasoxs, oh man. The concierge! "I'm not a bee, but Brother, I forgive you for that discrepancy" is such a Brennan Lee Mulligan NPC thing to say and has such an excellent energy to it. Aaawh, and he eats the B-12 and old dude gets more hair. Good ending.

Episode 7!

They have an invisible hideout? Wild. FIRST APPEARANCE OF CATBUG! Gas-powered stick? Weird. Ooh, Beth's friend makes me think of Marceline. Love the hair. All the guys want her and have 0 chill. No surprise, but still... Gas-powered Stick. Impossibear? Whata wild dude. Threw the stick, grew a tree, now a peach pit is giving Chris xray vision. Ooh, trouble, boyyo. Don't do that. Wha? A musical number?!? Nope. Got cut off. Too bad. Ooh, try something weird. It got weird alright. What the whaaa? So. That was a thing? Or, yah know, maybe it won't be. I dunno about continuity and this show yet. But hey! Catbug! Yaaay!

Episode 8!

Open on dramatic doors and then disco dance music. Time machine? Fun fun. Gonna get weird, I'd bet. New Miami? Whaaa? Wild. Hahaha. Ooh, memory goggles to show people in your brain stuff. Electric puke button? Whoa. That's terrible. Kill that awful character. But nooo, that's gonna make things worse somehow. "Hehehe. You're gonna punt children." "Sorry dude. Doesn't work out." Awh, too bad. No time machine thing this time.

Episode 9!

Everyone speaks gibberish? Seems that they understand each other though, so okay. Teleport to a portal or two and then angry laser dogs. Fire spirits make popcorn. I relate to them on a deep level. Apparently the ones on the planet are super sexist. No longer relate to them. Rude. Laserdogs meet other dog and things are good. First planet is good when gets plugged in with the power chord to the ship, so that's cool. Music puzzle on planet 3. Turns the whole world on its axis. Planetary alignment fixes speech problem. Wow. Weird. Hahahaha, but love it. Now who gets the big dude out of the pod?

Episode 10!

10 year anniversary of a jinx? Wow. Wild. Male female jive, and letting Beth sing I am the Walrus is just a wiiild addition. Cereal master fries her own face for dramatic effect. Wild. Ooh. His eyes glow. He has powers. Emotion lorded those seahorse dreams. Wiiild. "Run, fools. Run for your lives." "SOMEBODY GET GOD A MOJITO!" Woah. This is excellent and I love it. "IT'S THE DEVIL! SOMEBODY KILL HIM!" She remembers. Cereal lady goes home to talk to her Daddy instead of taking it out on customers and herself. And Beth does another jinx on Chris. This is such an enjoyable show.

Episode 11!

Wankershim leaves the holojohn and becomes his own independent individual. More carrots and breadcrumbs! ... Whaaa? Everyone becomes one with Wankershim. Their t shirts all change. CATBUG'S FRIENDS LINE! I love that CatBug sooo much. Ooh, mercy. Visions of the future. Always interesting, but also wiiild. The whole universe is Wankershim. Its always been Wankershim... That is rad.

I too have an interest in tacos.

The concierge!!!

Episode 12!

CATBUG! They're chilling in Beth's room. And then they get gifts from their parents! Catbug is an interdimensional jumper. Wild. I looove them. "SUGARPEAS! drop them! OKAY!" Makes much more sense now. Why would you make oatmeal cry? Good ask, Catbug. The presents grow into a horrible monster critter, a door, and then, naturally, as any D&D party. They immediately knock on it. They cannot open it. Paralyzed horse's log. Awh, poor thing. But wait. Who is Ralph Waldo Picklechips? What is there behind the door? Why does the old man miss Beth? What happened in the future?

Must find out more, next post, on BRAVEST WARRIORS. I will not liveblog that one unless there is any interest in this one though, because this actually took a lot of time and typing and also I am apparently 7 years behind or more on doing that, so. Oh well. Still, it was fun. GOTTA LOVE CATBUG!

[imsoofabulous]

What happens in Vegas...

I dropped my bags on the floor as I looked around the expansive suite. I would only be staying one night, but it would be more than worth it. I was in Vegas for a girls trip but flew in a day early to relax and have some time to myself. I flopped on the bed and pulled my phone out my pocket to let my friends and family know I had arrived safely. It was just after 3, so I had plenty of time to get settled in. As I sent off a text to my best friend, a message came through from Andre. Andre was the man of my dreams, but his work made it hard for us to see each other. Seeing his name made my heart race.

Andre: hey baby

Me: what’s up

Andre: I wanna see you

I cursed to myself, knowing this would happen.

Me: I’m in Vegas this weekend :(

Andre: where are you staying?

Me: I’m in a hotel tonight until my friends arrive tomorrow

Andre: so you’re alone?

Me: yep

Andre: I’ll be there in a few hours

I stared at my phone in shock before I screamed. I quickly texted him my hotel and room number before calling my best friend. “You’re not going to believe this!” I said not realizing I was yelling.

“What girl? why are you so loud shit.”

“Andre is coming to Vegas for the night!” I was still yelling, too excited to talk at a regular volume.

“Ohhhh shit! Damn he must fuck with you heavy! What did i tell you though! I told you this would happen!” I rolled my eyes at her ‘I told you so’ as i gave a quick run down of what had happened just that fast. I rushed off the phone when i realized I didn’t know exactly how much time I had to get ready.

I unzipped my luggage and carefully went through my clothes. I didn’t have too many sexy options since I wasn’t planning on anything like this. As I pulled out one of the few dresses I had brought with me, I thought about the robe usually in the hotel bathroom. I threw the dress down and ran to the bathroom, pleased to see 2 robes hanging on the door. I slipped it on to see how it fit. I was tall and plus size so I expected it to not be big enough, but it was. I went back to my bag to retrieve my bath stuff i had for the evening. I had candles, a bath bomb, a speaker, and my tablet so i could read or watch something. I undressed as chills went through my body imagining seeing Andre again. He couldn’t have been more perfect for me. While I stood at 6’3”, he was taller than me by almost 5 inches. My thick frame was easy for him to handle since he was thick like he still played football. We both had smooth dark skin that looked good with anything. I licked my lips thinking about his full lips covering my body with kisses. Just as I started running the water in the tub, I heard a knock at the door.

“Room Service!” A mans voice came from the other side of the door.

“I didn’t order anything,” I thought to myself as I made my way to the door.

“Good evening! Compliments of Mr. Jones!” He wheeled in a cart containing champagne, chocolates, and a single red rose. “Well thank you so much!” I scrambled for my wallet to give him a tip. “Thank you maam. He also left a note that dinner is on him, order whatever you’d like.” I handed him a $10 bill and thanked him again. I was in shock as i closed the door behind him. I looked at the cart and decided to hold off on the champagne for now. I took off my clothes and grabbed the rose to take a sexy picture for Andre.

Me: I’ll pop the champagne when you get here ;)

Andre: go ahead and open that, I’ll get us something else when i come.

I squealed as I went to start my bath water again. While the tub filled up, I ran to pour myself a glass of champagne. “Fuck it” I said to myself, taking the whole bottle and the chocolates in the bathroom with me. I pulled my hair up into a bun before turning the water off and dropping the bath bomb in. I grabbed my body scrub and loofah and sat them on the edge of the tub. I set up my tablet and started some reruns of bobs burgers before finally getting in the tub. The hot water was like an instant relief to my tired body. Just As I laid my head back, my phone went off. “Damn it, who is this?”

I sat up to retrieve my phone, reminding myself to turn on do not disturb. Before I could get too upset, I saw it was Andre updating me on when he’d be here.

Andre: got a flight taking off in about an hour. See you soon baby.

I checked the time, noting that is was going on 5 here which meant it was close to 8 in Atlanta. I sent back some kissing emojis, setting a timer for 5 hours. I turned my ringer down and figured I sneak in a quick nap before I had to actually get ready.

Andre

I had a connect at the airport who found me a seat on the last flight to Vegas for the night. I had to work there over the weekend, so it really just gave me more time to get settled in. I always had my travel bag ready to go since I was always on the go. I requested and Uber before grabbing my brush and going over my waves. I couldn’t wait to see Kim and more importantly, not have to rush out the next day. I loved my job but it left little time for anything else. I had already switched her reservation to my card and added on a day. I knew she was meeting friends the next day but I was sure I could persuade her to stay with me another night. I had breakfast coming to us in the morning and a massage in the afternoon, something I desperately needed. I got the notification that my Uber was outside and grabbed my bag before shutting off all the lights in my apartment. I sent Kim a message to let her know I was headed her way as I walked down to the Uber. As I rode to the airport, I scrolled through the pictures I had of Kim in my phone. She was so beautiful and sexy. I hadn’t met any girl as tall as she was with such a great shape. Everything was the perfect size, especially her big round ass. I started to get hard thinking about it, so I decided to instead see what was happening on Instagram. Before I knew it, we were at the airport. I gave the driver a $20 bill before getting out the car. I normally flew private with my clients so it had been awhile since I had to make my way through the airport. I breezed through security since I had TSA precheck. I navigated through the terminals thinking about what I wanted to eat. I didn’t have much time so I headed to five guys for something I could take on the plane with me. As I passed by the Swarovski store, a jewelry set in the window caught my eye. It was a necklace with earrings and a bracelet that I could already envision Kim wearing. I purchased it without hesitation and even got it wrapped up for her. “Last minute gift? Who’s it for? Mother, girlfriend, wife?” The sales lady asked, putting emphasis on wife and glancing at my ring finger. I smiled, deciding to play along a little. “Just a special lady,” I responded vaguely, flashing a smile.

“Well she’s certainly lucky,” she handed the bag to me and smiled, brushing her hand against mine as I grabbed the bag. I laughed to myself as I walked out the store. I heard them call zone 1 for my flight so I rushed to get some food quick. There was no line so I made it to the terminal by time they called zone 3. I looked at my ticket to see what seat I was in, just realizing I was supposed to board zone one in business class. As I got to the gate agent, her mood shifted. She was rushing with the passengers in front of me, but seemed to slow down when she got to me. “Good evening Mr. Jones, I hope you enjoy your time in Vegas,” she smiled and winked at me. “Thanks sweetheart,” I smiled at her before continuing on to the plane, shaking my head. I couldn’t help but imagine how Kim would react if she was with me. I got comfortable in my seat, grateful for the extra legroom, and checked my phone. I smiled at the pictures from Kim, glad that the front desk had gotten the stuff to her quick. I let her know I would be there soon and dozed off before birding was even complete.

Before i knew it, we were landing in Vegas. It was just before 10, so i had plenty of time to stop at liquor library and pick us up some stuff to make drinks with. I decided to just show up versus letting Kim know that I had landed. I couldn’t wait to see the look on her face.

Kim

I sat on the bed in the robe provided by the hotel. I was ready and now just waiting for Andre to arrive. I was nervous since it had been about 3 months since I’d seen him. I decided to get dressed and have a quick drink downstairs to ease my nerves. I slipped on a long sleeved black dress that had an opening in the back, accentuating my ass even more. I decided to put on heels, hoping no one made any comments on how tall I was. It was going on 9 and I figured Andres flight would land around 10, giving me an hour to get back. I made my way to the elevator as thoughts of Andre took over my mind. The elevator arrived and was surprisingly empty. I checked myself out in the mirror lined back wall. As I looked, I imagined Andre coming up behind me and kissing on my neck. I took a deep breath, attempting to clear my mind as I finally reached the lobby. I strutted across the marble floor, focusing on not falling. I stopped at the first bar area and took a seat on the end. I ordered a shot and a cocktail and took a deep breath as I scanned the bar around me. I saw what looked to be a bachelorette party getting started and several random groups and singles scattered throughout. The bartender brought back my drinks and I quickly downed the shot. “Damn girl!” A deep voice said from behind me. I turned around to see a man about the same height as me. He was pretty cute with his shaved down beard and perfect waves. If I wasn’t meeting Jay, I definitely would’ve talked with him. I flashed a small smile and turned back to my drinks as he slid into the seat next to me. “Hey let’s get another round down here!” The mystery man called out to the bartender.

“Oh I’m good but thank you,” I politely declined.

“Ohhh you must be meeting somebody huh?” He spoke with a thick Texas accent and I could see he had a gold grill over his bottom teeth that contrasted nicely with his dark skin.

“I am” I stated simply.

“Well do you think they’ll mind if I keep you a lil company till they get here?” He smiled, flashing his perfect top row of teeth and the grill. I loved southern men with grills, and he was looking like Trevante Rhodes in the movie Moonlight. I laughed to myself and checked the time. I could entertain him for a few minutes and enjoy a drink on him before heading back upstairs.

“I guess I can spare a few minutes for you,” I looked over at him and caught him staring at my thighs. He licked his lips as he met my gaze.

“Well whoever is meeting you tonight is lucky as hell” he looked me over once again before taking down his shot.

I giggled as i sipped my cocktail and scanned the bar again as the noise level got suddenly louder. I turned back to the mystery man who was typing something on his phone. “It was a pleasure to meet you love, but i actually gotta meet my homeboys myself. Why don’t you give me a call sometime.” He smiled that smile again as he placed a card by my drink. He winked and touched my shoulder as he walked off.

I finished off my drink and picked up the card. “Dontavius Tucker, Attorney at Law. Okay then!” I quickly sent a picture of the card to my best friend, Amaya, and told her to remind me to tell her about it later. To my surprise, she called me almost immediately after I sent the message.

“Hello?” I answered expecting something to be wrong.

“Who the hell is Dontavius and aren’t you supposed to be with Andre?”

I laughed before taking the shot Dontavius had bought for me before standing up to leave. “Calm down sis. I’m waiting on Andre to get here, ol boy approached me bought me a drink, left his card that’s it” I gave the bartender my room key, realizing I didn’t have my credit card on me.

“Oh. Well if that’s it what is there to tell me?” Amaya sounded slightly disappointed.

“Girl he was fine as hell. Like if Andre wasn’t on his way, he could’ve been coming upstairs with me.” I started to describe how he looked as I made my way to the elevator.

“Well shit if he that fine, call him up tomorrow for me,” she laughed.

“Girl you play too much.” Just as I pressed the button for my floor and the doors were closing, someone stuck their foot in to stop it. The doors opened back up seemingly in slow motion to Andre, dressed in all black as always. He was looking down to pick up his bags and hadn’t realized I was the person on the elevator. He stepped in, finally looking up and instantly smiled.

“Um let me call you back,” I hung up my phone before Amaya could say anything back, barely breaking eye contact with Andre. As the doors closed again, he dropped his bags and wrapped his arms around me. “Damn you look good,” he whispered in my ear as he grabbed my ass. I got wet instantly as his cologne tickled my nose. He started kissing my neck, causing me to giggle. I pulled away and looked at him, feeling like I must have been dreaming.

“Ooo hold on turn around,” Andre spun me around so that we were facing the mirror. “We look good together baby,” he placed his hands on my hips and pulled me against him. The elevator started to slow as I stepped away from Andre so he could grab his things. “Lead the way baby.”

[daysofnikki-blog]

The next, next Sunday.

Holy SHIIIT. Two weeks? It’s been two weeks since I was on here?! Holy balls guys, do you know how much has happened since then?

So the party that Vadim took me too was full of Dungeons and Dragons nerds, but they were really cool and we got along soooo well. Vadim left me to talk to his friend and give him a Christmas present as soon as we got there, so I made friends with a guy named Igan who was cool af. When I take someone to a party, I expect them to mingle and not stay by my side; that’s why we came to a party vs staying at home alone, to hang out with other people. So I did just that. Usually I’m nervous around people I don’t know, but I was jiving with these people. Made consistent eye contact with Vadim as a sign to say we were cool. At one point we both went to go outside and he said he didn’t want to because people were smoking. I said okay, see you later, and went on outside. It was hot and I wanted to cool down. Ended up staying outside. Met the birthday boy’s sister, who works tracking loggerhead sea turtles (awesome) and got into a long chat with guy named Phil who designs dresses. He let me swipe through his designs and they are gorgeous!! He told me I could have a red one if I wanted, and I would’ve said hell yes if Vadim hadn’t come outside. He looked agitated. Asked me why I hadn’t been talking to him at all. I said I thought that we were mingling and that it wasn’t a big deal. He starts yelling at me, in front of everyone, who are now staring, watching us as he berates me for not coming inside when he didn’t want to come outside because of people smoking, “Oh could you not understand that? Really? You couldn’t understand to come inside with me, huh?” It was mortifying.

I tried to play it off. Followed him inside to the food table, where I grabbed some Doritos and listened as he still ranted (albeit quieter this time) about how he couldn’t believe I had barely talked to him at the party. It wasn’t so much what he was saying... it was the way he said it. Belitting me. When he walked away from the table the sea turtle girl was sitting there. She looked at me, shook her head, and said “Damn... I remember when I was in an abusive relationship.” Really?? That’s what we look like to people??

30 seconds later he came over and asked if we could leave.

On the car ride home he was still mad about it.

At his place he wanted to fuck. I’d have went home but I was too drunk to drive. I told him I didn’t want to fuck him with the way he had acted.

The next morning he tried to fuck me again. No.

I left. Haven’t heard from him since. Not even an apology.

The rest of the week I was so sad about it. Told Rachel from work about the situation and she said that she had been in a controlling relationship, and that it was a good thing I had gotten out of it. I’m still so disappointed. I had really liked him.

It was a 2-day workweek because of Thanksgiving. Monday at work was amazing. We had a potluck and the entire part of that building smelled fucking amazing. Ate like a champ. Drowned my feelings in calories.

When the food was done, I went to see Daniel in his office. Went in there for a hug, cause Daniel hugs me when I ask. Sometimes I need a hug. This week I needed a lot. Stayed there for an hour while we talked about his love life and he told me thanks, that he isn’t often able to open up like that. Said we’d get together the next day for drinks. The next day he cancelled.

I went to dinner with Nara at Atlantic Station instead. We were supposed to ice skate, too, but turns out she’s a little bitch with the cold lol. So when I saw the look on her face I told her we could just eat instead.

This date was was different. She wasn’t nearly as flirty. When we left she didn’t kiss me goodbye. Just went to her car. Made me feel very sad, and confused.

The next day was Thanksgiving. FML. Drove 2 hours to Elberton. When I arrived I was chilling for a minute in the car to ready myself when I heard a SLAM into my passenger side door. It was my little brother, Deuce. He had decided to fucking body slam the side of my car. What a douche. Dad was standing on the other side of my car and of course said nothing to him.

Went inside, already in a bad mood. At lunch no one asked about anything but traffic; not how work is going, not who I’m dating, not about my trips. Just traffic. I feel like there is no point in me even coming. April and Dad didn’t even invite me to her mom’s for Thanksgiving this year. They went straight there after Mama J’s; they just didn’t invite me.

Deuce kept interrupting every.fucking.thing I said to order me outside to watch him on the bicycle. I kept telling him in a minute, wondering why the hell no one is chastising this damn child for interrupting an adult constantly. Certainly would’ve happened to me when I was little. At one point he followed me into the kitchen while I threw away trash, asking again and again for me to come outside. Frustrated, I told him in a minute. He then asked, repeatedly, “Nikki why are you angry? Why are you so angry?” Only because he heard it at home, I’m sure. At the table he says really loudly, with a big smile, “That’s my sister!” with a big smile at Dad when I tell him hello, yet when Dad isn’t around he yells at me to shut up. I can’t stand that damn kid. The little girl is cool though.

Outside before leaving we finally watched them on their damn bikes. When I wasn’t giving him enough attention he rammed his bike into me before saying “Oh sorry! I’m sorry” with a big smile on his face. He knew what the fuck he was doing. Can’t stand him. He’s a little shit with no manners who going to grow up to be a big shit with problems because he never learned that the attention doesn’t have to be on him 24/7. And when he’s older and not getting positive attention, he’s going to act out for negative attention instead. He needs a damn whooping.

So I stayed for about 90 minutes, then drove to Atlanta and straight to Claire’s for Irish Thanksgiving. Which was AMAZING. The spread was beautiful, the people were nice, the accents were adorable, and the food was fucking fantastic. I love Mama J, but damn she can’t cook. These people though had turkey, lamb lollipops, ham, green beans, just everything you can imagine, and it was all perfect. And booze. Lots of delicious booze. Best Thanksgiving I’ve ever been to. After everyone left, Claire and her husband Ronan played their favorite game with guests, where we each take turns playing a song on Youtube. Funny enough I was with an English girl and and Irish man and their favorite music is old country lol. Claire has a major soft spot for Dolly Parton, so I introduced her to the duet of her and Rod Stewart singing Baby It’s Cold Outside. She loved it. They said I was the best person they’d ever played that game with. I had the best time :) Such a good time, and so much alcohol, in fact, that I stayed the night in their guest bed. Woke up and they made me breakfast cause they’re adorable.

When I left I was supposed to meet Sam (an old co-worker) for brunch. Drove out to our meeting place and he cancelled on me, so I went and got Claire a thank-you gift instead; an essential oil diffuser and oils, because she’d said she wanted one.

Saturday I can’t remember what I did.

Sunday I had another date with Brian, a lawyer I met on Bumble. He’s okay. Not fantastic, but okay. Has a cute dog. Had a decent date, not sure he’s for forever though. But I enjoy his company. We went to dinner at Anitco’s, split a bottle of wine, went ice skating at SunTrust Park, and then grabbed a beer there after. When I broke out into hives from ice skating, he ran to his car to get me some Claritin :)

Monday I met a guy named JP at Second Self Brewery for their comedy show. Holy shit was that a bad date. It was small, like twenty people in the venue, five of which were performing, and most of them talked on stage about how awkward they felt. JP came in late. When I asked him what kind of beer he liked, I told him that I had a flight if he wanted suggestions. He said “Oh okay so we’re going to share yours?” “No,” I explained. “This is MY flight. These are mine.” He laughed but I was serious. I went to sit and he got his beer. (The flight was only mini-pours.) During a few of the (obviously nervous and bombing) comedians’ sets, he said “Whomp whomp.” It was low, and under his breath, but there were only a couple dozen people there. I was mortified. Halfway through he offered me his marijuana pen. I said I smoke but didn’t want to right beside everyone. He kept pushing it. I said no. He kept pushing it. I ignored him.

After, we sat on the couch to talk a bit. I still wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt. But he was a dumbass. He kept throwing names of cities in foreign countries around but had no idea what he was talking about. I’m sure he’s dated stupid girls who find mentions of foreign places attractive, but I actually know my shit. He told me that the best surfing was in Tamarindo in south Costa Rica. I countered that Tamarindo is actually in Northwest Costa Rica; was he talking about somewhere else? He said he’d gone to the best surfing locations in Europe. I asked if he’s been to Basque country in France. He said oh you mean in South of France? No, I said, it was in West France. Oh, you mean by the Mediterranean? No, west France touches the Atlantic Ocean. Long story short, he’d never heard of it, which is insane considering it’s some of the best surfing in all of Europe.

The real kicker was when he asked where I lived. I told him an approximate location because I’m not telling a guy I just met from online these three things: Where I live, where I work, or my last name. I have to trust them a bit more first before they get that info.

He continued to pester me for the exact neighborhood I lived in. I told him that I was becoming agitated at the fact that he couldn’t take no for an answer, and that I didn’t think it was going to work out. He left, I finished my beer, never spoke to him again. Good riddance.

On the way home I called Zeek, my Tuesday date, and we talked. Had the best conversation. Laughed constantly. He thought I was magical when I told him he was playing video games, because I heard the click of the controller in the background and recognized it.

Tuesday I had a date with Zeek (real name Zlatan, nickname is Zeek) at 3 Sheets. It was my suggestion, but turns out he used to DJ there often and knew everyone working there. They seem to like him, which is always a good sign :) Some ups and downs in the date. Mostly up. One down. We were talking about something… Crazy girls, maybe? And how all people live up to their names. And he said that, “all crazy girls are named like Nikki. Or Carol.” Record scratch. Those are my names. I keep a fake smile while thinking about the fact that he told me he got his job in cybersecurity from hacking people. That he hacked into this ex-girlfriend’s shit to find out she was actually a Playmate. I’m freaking out a bit at this point, and he can tell. He tells me that my name showed up when I called, which doesn’t make sense because when anyone calls ME it just shows up as a random number. He then said he had found me on Facebook with my name. Now I’m really sketched out because I know it is set to where strangers can’t look me up. And he can tell this is going south, quick. But I changed the conversation, we talked more; he seemed like a cool guy, we’d had a good conversation the night before, and I was enjoying our night together. We had five drinks each, for goodness sake. At the end of the night we made out for forty minutes outside the door like a couple of teenagers. His lips are soft and sweet and I loved kissing him.

Wednesday I started the evening with an Escape the Room game with a friend from high school, his girlfriend, and her friends from work. We made it out just in time ;)

After that I went to see Zlatan. Loved seeing him. I told him I was hungry so he ordered me pizza and remembered my favorite toppings. Also remembered that I loved cookies and jellybeans and had those waiting on me, too. We watched Pan’s Labyrinth, which was INSANE because that was the EXACT movie I was going to recommend. Watched it. Ate. He made me a drink and got me a tray to set it on. Cuddled. Movie was good. Cuddles were good. His place is amazing, a three story townhouse, and his furniture is bitchin. No red flags, in other words. He has three cars (really nice cars) and they are his hobby, which is good to see that he actually has a life and things he enjoys outside of work. We had sex that night and it was goooood. Just as rough as I like it, and good dirty talk. When we finished we did it again. He then turned on his fan to sleep which I LOOOOVED. That is my thing.

I woke up around 2 am though and I was alone. So I walked through the house, naked, looking for him. He came out of the spare bedroom when he heard me. Said I was taking over the bed and he wasn’t used to sleeping with someone because it had been five months since he had sex. I told him I was worried and missed him. He pulled the covers over me, but went back into the spare room. The next morning he came in to wake me up for work, and I pulled him into bed to cuddle but he wanted to fuck again so that’s what we did. Then I got ready. And he walked me to the door. And I left.

It’s a shame he wants kids. I really like him.

Thursday night I went to the Laughing Skull Lounge in the Vortex with Zach from work. It was a little awkward, but fun. We ran into a guy who used to work at Jacob’s Ladder, who’d had a huge crush on me. Obviously the guy saw me, and not Zach, cause I got a text from him saying “Are you here alone?” Night ended without incident. I think I talked too much at the bar, but it’s all good :)

Friday I made my way to Greenville to go to a sorority Christmas party. They’ve invited me for five years; I felt it was time that I finally went. Realized how much I’ve grown since college, because all of them have stayed the same. Kristen, the hostess, was one of the only ones I wanted to see. She stays at home, because her husband has a cushy job with his Dad’s company. He drives a new Mercedes, she a new Escalade. They have a six bedroom, three story house. And she tells me that she feels empty inside, she has no friends, she’s never happy. Shocking, since she even said in college she was dating him for his money. She wouldn’t even go out with him until she Google Earthed his home and saw that his family has two tennis courts on their property, among other amenities of course.

Moments of Southern… narrow-mindness, we’ll say, from the night includes;

Carly makes homemade necklaces now and was bragging about how she sources the silk material. She said, “I get it sent from India. The women who make the Sahara dresses there pick up the silk scraps from the floor and send them to me, so that they use every piece of the Sahara dresses.” Everyone oohed and ahhed, and I said, “Um you mean saree dresses? Because Sahara is a desert.” and she looked at me but pretended not to hear what I said. Way to brag about something that you don’t know shit about.

Later on she mentioned that she had watched a video in her class (she’s a teacher) on the Day of the Dead and was saying, “You know what’s weird though, is that when you learn about it it’s not much different than our holidays.” Like no shit Sherlock, you’re thirty something and just realizing that? We’re here celebrating a fat man in a red suit that climbs down chimneys to leave gifts, and you’re acting like people who are remembering their passed loved ones are the crazy ones?? How has it taken you so long to realize this?

Abby, seeming to need to one-up my short recap of my month of France, talked about her trip to Epcot Center and how she had tasted food from all over the world and omg it was so great. Like first off Abby if you’ve ever been out of the country you would realize that at Epcot you are eating the American version of foreign food. In France they don’t have to pasteurize cheese, which makes it taste completely different than the cheeses we’re allowed to get in America. I’m sure there are things like that for all countries, but France is the one I’m most familiar with. Whatever. My life isn’t so lame that I need to one-up people. I let her have her moment of bliss.

I walk into the living room and hear Chelsea saying that she can’t believe all of these women are coming up with sexual allegations that are 15-20 years old. That Matt Lauer is like her best friend and that if it was such a big deal those women should have spoken up earlier. Just…. are you fucking kidding me? Do I even need to state that these women were probably under the umbrella of his authority 15-20 years ago, that they would have lost their lifelong careers at the time, that multiple accusations means he likely could even be doing it today? I didn’t, but I sure as hell needed to cause those girls are stupid.

Then everyone left and Chelsea and I stayed overnight at Kristen’s. They went on to talk about how annoying all of the other girls were and how ugly their babies are. Then on Facebook everyone posts about how much they love everyone. Once a year is plenty for all of that.

Saturday I had bottomless mimosas with Brittany and told her way too much about my life. Then I went shopping alone for my NYC trip and didn’t find shit. Drove back home. Sunday I had a cold and I’ve been in bed all day. Ordered pizza. That was the highlight.

I haven’t mentioned my NYC trip, have I? Started talking to David, a Parisian who lives in Ile de France. We hit it off SO WELL. He is kind and sexy and sweet and funny and… everything I could want. We hit it off so well that he booked me a trip to NYC to meet him. He’s flying all the way over, just for me. I feel so damn special. We’re staying at Indigo LES for the weekend and he already has breakfast, dinner, and a trip to MOMA planned :) I just have to find a gift for him now. So far I have a pair of Happy Socks, a wine stopper made of a gold “D,” and two white espresso cups that I’m going to decorate for him at Megan’s tomorrow. One I want to draw the US and France on them, with a heart on Atlanta and Paris and a dotted line connected the two. The other I want to say, “Good Morning Babe” because he likes when I call him babe :) I’ll update you on how they go. I need to get to bed now. Good night :)