#and loki would be like you always courted the most insufferable boring maidens i brought you excitement and conflict

[iamanartichoke]

One of my pre-canon Thorki headcanons is that Loki's always harbored feelings for Thor but, of course, intended on taking that secret to the grave ... but, that didn't mean he was willing to sit around and watch as Thor "courted" various women.

So he played up the little brother card in a major way, making it a point to get between Thor and any girlfriend he had whenever the opportunity presented itself, in such an innocuous way that Thor could never quite tell if Loki was being a little shit or if he was genuinely clueless. Like -

Thor and Girlfriend are sitting under an apple tree in Idunn's orchard? Oh, Loki just happened to be climbing trees that day - he swings down from a branch with a bright, "Oh, hi! Fancy meeting you two here," while Thor and Girlfriend jump ten feet. Loki, oblivious, just hops down to the ground and helps himself to one of their apples. "Don't mind if I do," he says, sitting down on their blanket. "It's a lovely day for apple picking, isn't it?"

Or

Thor and Girlfriend have planned to attend the feast (what feast? Any feast, they have them like every weekend) together, but Loki manages to finagle the seat at the table in between them and when Thor says, "uh, Loki, about where you're sitting," Loki cuts him off and says, "Don't worry, I figured you two would fight over who got to sit next to me, so I made it easy, you're welcome."

Or

Thor and Girlfriend have just returned from a romantic horse ride through the countryside and, as they're in the stables, putting away the horses and doing whatever else it is people do post-ride, they get distracted by each other and are leaning in when Loki swings open the stable door. His "oh! Sorry!" is falsely apologetic and teasing. "You were about to kiss, weren't you? That's so sweet, I'll just wait," and then he goes and stands directly outside of the stable door and after about ten seconds yells, "Are you guys done yet?" and there's no reply, and another five seconds goes by, and he yells, "Now are you done?" and Thor practically roars back, "We're done now!" and he's ready to throttle Loki, he really is. Loki continues to be oblivious as he saunters back in, all smiles, like, "I'm so glad you two are back, I have big plans for us this evening," and Thor is just like, internally, norns, give me strength.