#and listening to the entire album start to finish while you think about girls

[swashbucklery]

Thinking up titles and my brain keeps skating over Taylor Swift lyrics bc they don’t ~vibe right for Kit/Jade but you know what works for them perfectly? Vintage Dashboard.

[goldfades]

Paige 100% sends those pictures of two inanimate object and goes “us if we were___”

Like two soap bottles touching tips “us if we were soap”

Paige def just scrolls through your phone gallery, looking at your pictures. Staring fondly and going “my wife’s so pretty.” and “Why didn’t you send me this????” (I just thought of a whole fic on this idea oml i’m getting Hot)

Anytime you send a photo to Paige honestly, she’s going off on Imessage just hyping you up.

OMG THEY HAVE A SHARED PHOTO ALBUM. BUT BUT BUT it’s not just photos of themselves, it’s also like “I saw this and was thought of you.” Photos like OSXBUDHANA

Loves listening to you talk so she brings up things she knows you love talking about.

——-

Also that motherfucker definitely makes the manager mad on purpose cuz she thinks it’s cute when the managers angry. (The manager being furious is a whole different situation.) And it doesn’t help that Paige is taller.

Manager will just be ranting at paige whilst paige is just smiling the whole time.

The manager notices and goes “and you’re just smiling like shits funny, ain’t nothin funny-“ “you’re just so cute princess”

oop

that shut her up real quick

“Paige’s get the fuck outta my office.” but like she’s all flustered and Paige can tell

——

I think you touched on this, but when they get together and yk, have to keep it on the low for a multitude of reasons.

One one hand it sucks cuz yk, Paige can’t brag like she wants to yet. But on the other hand Paige is a cocky little shit and will take the opportunity to be handsy and flirty (to a certain degree) knowing that the girls aren’t gonna think too much of it cuz paige has always been like that, But Paige and the manager both know there’s more reason to it now.

BUT NEVER FRETE our manager can play the same game Paige, don’t start stuff you can’t finish. Then it lowkey become just a personal game for them of who could fluster the other more without the team getting suspicious.

Contrary to popular belief I think the Manager and Paige made a bet on how long with would take the team to figure out they were together. So they didn’t tell them outright, but just went along letting them figure it out themselves.

——

I also feel like people started noticing the dynamic change. Like don’t get me wrong the managers job comes first so Paige isn’t getting any extreme special treatment, but the girls and fans start noticing the managers tone switch when she’s talking to Paige.

Her tone just gets a bit softer and more gentle.

Like there’s this clip of manager talking to Caroline normally, then Paige calls her and manager turns and goes “yes baby?” so softly AND LIKE the “baby” isn’t what gets people cuz again, manager calls everyone by pet names. It’s HOW quickly her tone changes as soon as she started talking to Paige.

And we already know Paige’s eye contact game goes crazy and she has a STARRING PROBLEM, if I had a nickel for how many times Paige was caught staring at the manager I would be buying everyone on this blog canes oml.

Manager doesn’t really strike me as a person who shies away from eye contact most of the time, which is evident cuz there’s clips of them just starting at each other and you can FEEL THE TENSION.

But when manager does shy away from it, Paige either grabs her chin and turns her face back to her, or if she can’t Paige moves her head to try and stay in the managers eye sight.

Or let’s say Paige is talking and manager gets distracted by something. Paige is grabbing her cheeks gently with both hands, saying “Hey, I’m right here pretty girl.” while gently rubbing her cheeks with her thumbs, then drops her hands from her face and just goes back to talking.

-🐹

(girl request that fic idea i wanna hear it now) THIS ENTIRE ASK IS GOLD I AM PUTTING IT IN THE MASTERLIST ASAPPPPP!!!!!

the shared photo album is soooo real!!!!! and paige is the one who puts the most pictures cus baby girl is a sentimental person she wants to take pics of EVERYTHING!

i feel like paige wants to think she's the winner every time yall play that "who can make the other flustered without the team noticing" game but honestly, why is the manager lowkey a rizzler????? likeeeeeee paige would pretend not to blush but its super obvious

AND THE TONE CHANGE IS SOOOO SO REAL, ur so right!!!!!! and its kinda obvious but the girls don't wanna say anything yet but they'll def tease them.

the whole eye contact thing made me melttttt goodnight!!!!

[justanamesstuff]

Chapter 1

Seasons

Matty Healy x f!reader

A/N: Hiii guys, I'm so nervous for this BUT very excited too!! I hope you like it <3

Warnings: swearing a bit?, typos maybe.

Word count: 3 K

MASTERLIST TAGLIST

Every season has its colours, has its smells, has its traditions. Like every season, this love has its particularities…

Around November of 2020, England

“Matty- Oh my god!!“ 

The constant banging on her wall and the high-pitched moaning at the other side woke Y/n up. Quickly, she took her pillow and placed it on top of her face, trying to muffle the horrible sounds reaching her ears. ‘God, is she having a good time? Or he’s killing her?’, the thought crossed the girl's mind. 

Most of the time they weren’t that loud, but during that morning they just seemed to not care.

It was useless, the sounds were getting louder and louder. Y/n couldn’t bear with it any more and knowing that even if they –luckily– stopped she wouldn’t come back to sleep. So, Y/n decided to go downstairs. Maybe one of the guys was making breakfast, which would help with the awful start of her day.

Her prayers weren’t heard. The kitchen was empty and no breakfast was made. She tried to cheer up a little, because Y/n needed to survive the day. To be honest, every day and morning it was getting harder and harder.

After a quiet but long sigh, Y/n started cooking for everyone. Nothing unusual since she tried to do it most of the mornings in exchange for their generosity letting her stay at the boys' studio –which was half Matty’s house as well. Spending the quarantine rent-free with them, listening how they recorded the new album and messing around was a true blessing if she tried to focus on the bright side of everything. 

Well, they kind of forced her because they were very against Y/n spending those months alone in her flat. The boys cared about the girl as a best friend and as a sister too. They were a bunch of drama queens most of the time, but deep down Y/n was enormously grateful with/for them.

Thinking about the first months, Y/n couldn’t deny those were amazing. The entire group spent a lot of quality time, doing the stupidest challenges, doing Instagram lives for the fans, watching a lot of movies, etc. Although everything took a turn when another person joined the party. When Nadia arrived.

It wasn’t like Y/n hated her, in fact, it was the opposite which created a big dilemma for her. Matty’s girlfriend was nice and the idea of having another girl was actually  comforting during the tough times. But Y/n wasn’t so fond of the situation for other reasons.

For a period –a very long one– if you asked her, she endured with it and put on her best –fake– happy face. Y/n’s acting talents were very handy at times. Although, her true feelings were still there, underneath the surface, where no one can notice them. Specially Matty.

 Time went by and the whole thing was making her more anxious, and although the idea of leaving crippled into her mind at every minute, she couldn’t really decide. Y/n didn’t want to leave but watching Matty 24/7 attached to the other girl’s side was taking the best of her mental health.

Y/n’s mind was running fast with thoughts while she cooked, which made her subconsciously ignore the tall man coming down after he heard movement downstairs. George watched his friend move around, knowing more than anyone in the house about her sorrows. George was probably the closest to her out of the four guys. He was the only one who knew all of her secrets and kept it secured as if it was his own.

The drummer stared at her, expecting for Y/n to notice him, but he acknowledged that the girl was in another dimension. She used to do that more than she liked to admit. George could bet ‘the morning moaning festival’ taking place half an hour prior was the main reason.

Y/n finished cooking a big amount of scrambled eggs and turned searching for a plate when she saw George standing in the partially lighted corridor. “Fuck G! You scared the shit out of me!” she exclaimed while resting a hand on her chest.

“Sorry!” the big man shrugged his shoulders. “Didn’t mean to scare you, love.” he apologized, approaching his best friend. “Good morning.” he greeted her properly, and she huffed.

“Good morning to you.” Y/n answered sarcastically after G placed a kiss on top of her head. 

“So, you heard, huh?”

“I can’t stand it any more, G.” she let him know. “It’s just a lot.” she continued, lowering her voice scared another of the boys could hear her.

“I know, love.” the drummer said with an apologetic expression. “But the lockdown is nearly over, and y’know none of us would like you to go.” G said as he searched for mugs.

“Why not? It’s my life, my freedom!” Y/n protested, starting to get annoyed. “It’s getting worse every day…” Y/n desperately moved her hands in the air trying to prove her point.

“Believe me… I know!” George searched for her eyes, keeping eye contact when Y/n looked back at him, waiting for his next words. “I’m not in your…situation, but I’m getting a little annoyed too.” G agreed with her.

“Yes, but it’s his house. He can do whatever he wants…”

“I half agree.” G nodded. “This might be his house, but it’s the place we choose as a studio, so for the time being its our place too…yours too!” George continued rambling, filling the mugs with hot water. “So, they need to stop with the noises.”

A comfortable silence fell between them until Y/n broke it again thinking out loud.

“What the hell can I do?” 

“About what?” A third voice came from the hallway. Matty made his entrance wearing a tired expression matching his gray sweatpants and plain shirt. He approached Y/n, leaving her a kiss on her right cheek. “What can you do about what, love?” he rephrased his question. 

“I- It’s nothing — Morning” she said without looking at him, instead walking towards the table bringing a mug with her.

“There must be something. You sounded worried.” Matty insisted.

“It’s something between Y/n and I, mate.” George said in a joking way, trying to distract him. “Something between best pals, you wouldn’t understand it.” he stated, rounding Y/n with his left arm meanwhile he winked at Matty taking a sip of his morning tea.

“Fuck off!” Matty protested. They usually have a competition about the title which Y/n find equally lame and cute. She easily felt the tension leaving her shoulders, relaxing thanks to their stupid discussion, knowing that for now Matty dropped his interrogation.

“Tell him, darling!” G urged her.

“It’s too early for this fight. Shut up and sit. I’ll bring the cutlery.” Y/n said, detaching herself from George. 

“Y/n is just too nice to tell ya, mate. She loves me more.” the singer continued joking, obviously unaware of the real implication of his words.

“Whatever helps you sleep at night, Matty.” George answered, sitting at his usual spot at the table.

“Who was the beautiful soul that made breakfast?” Ross entered the kitchen and stopped in his tracks, closing his eyes and inhaling dramatically.

“You know the answer.” John teased as he appeared from behind Ross. “You know you don’t have to, Y/n.” the musician approached her and helped with the forks and knives.

“Yes, for the hundred times…I know, John.” she looked at him. “But we all know that I would feel guilty since you all never let me pay for anything.”

“Because you don’t have to pay us, love.” Matty said from his place at the table with his sight fixed on his phone. He and the damn nicknames.

“But- “

“No but’s, Y/n. We’re happy to have you here!” Ross said as they all sat around the table.

They were serving breakfast when the conversation took another direction -something about the coronavirus and all of that. At the same time, the last resident of the house made her entrance.

Y/n sometimes envied her. Matty’s girlfriend always looked immaculate to a point that you could never think she just woke up. Y/n knew comparisons were wrong, but it was hard to avoid them. The girl felt awful: her hair was all tangled in a messy bun on the top of her head; only wearing an old t-shirt -from a not so famous band--and a pair of pyjamas short; and she was not wearing any makeup meanwhile she stuffed her breakfast on her face.

Nadia was all classy and perfect, the opposite of Y/n. Maybe that’s why he chose her and not his best friend. Y/n knew thinking like that was also wrong, yet again she couldn’t help it.

Y/n witnessed how Nadia greeted everyone and sat beside Matty, flashing him a cute smile he returned. They were in love, and it was obvious to everyone. Y/n was so happy for her best friend to find someone who loved him, although for many years she hoped that person would be her. For years, Y/n hoped Matty noticed her more than a mate.

When they first met, Y/n thought she felt a connection different from with anyone else in her life, although that changed quickly. Matty proved to her time and time again he didn’t want a relationship with her or nothing similar no matter how flirty he was during that first night. And Y/n forced herself her mind and heart to believe it.

Y/n was very unaware that, at the time she met the boys, Matty felt the same way she felt, but the old Matty didn’t want to lose the new friend he encountered. As another way to self sabotage himself, the young Matty did almost the impossible to show Y/n they were friends and just friends. A decision he took while being drunk became a life rule.

Since that moment, since that night, their relationship was kind of determinate. They were friends, the best friends. Not that night, but after a while, Y/n became part of the family and even Matty’s family –both sides– loved her as another member of their family. Y/n felt safe and loved, something she cherished so much since she hadn’t had that kind of love back home. Her family wasn’t like them, the opposite in fact.

For the longest time, Y/n tried to ditch her feeling for Matty. Every time a new girl showed up, tugged under his arm, Y/n decided it was the time to stop getting hurt and move on. Even though, her heart couldn’t do it. It hurt her. And with Nadia was the hardest since all of them could notice it was different, more mature…more serious. Nadia was more than a random girl for Matty and everyone was sure of that.

“Penny for your thoughts.” Matty interrupted Y/n’s inner monologue, staring at her, while his right arm was around Nadia.

“What?” Y/n answered, coming down to earth, with a question. 

“You were gone.” everyone was strangely in silence while they looked at each other.

“I was just thinking about the government lifting the restrictions. Meaning, now I can go home.” she half lied, while messing with the leftovers of her breakfast. Y/n did chat about it with G that morning anyway, and it was a reality Y/n needed to get away from the lovers for a time.

“I told her, none of us want that.” George interrupted their conversation.

“Of course not.” Jaime, who joined the breakfast table, said to her.

“I know, guys. But it’s been almost four months and I- This is not my- “

“Don’t finish that sentence.” Matty warned her, and she looked him directly in the eyes.

“It’s the truth, Matty.” she said, dropping her fork on the plate.

“It’s not, this is your house too, Y/n/n.” Ross, sweet Ross, reminded her. “At the same time, if you want to go back to your flat, I understand. We’ll miss your meals.” his comment made everyone chucked, except Matty who was studying every one of her movements. 

A weak smile was plastered on her face while she stared down towards her plate unable to make eye contact with Matty. “Don’t get me wrong. I love being here with you guys, but I need my space.”

“If this is about some couple…” Jaime looked at Matty and Nadia “Waking up the whole house.” he finished the sentenced winking like a cartoon.

“For fuck's sake.” Matty swore under his breath. “Is it about that?” he looked at Y/n.

“‘Course not!” she looked at him trying her hardest to hide her feelings.

“I wouldn’t blame you if that’s the reason. I’m sleeping on the other side of the house and I can listen to them. You’re right beside Matty’s room!” John emphatically said.

Before Matty could say a word, Y/n exclaimed, “It’s not about that, okay?” she simply lied. 

Y/n could sense George staring at her. “It’s what I said, I need my space, and it’s not like I’m going to disappear.” another white lie. Y/n was planning to do exactly that for a while until her wounds healed again. “You’ll still have to bear with me.” she finished her little speech.

“We can simply send the couple to your flat, and you can stay here in peace” Ross joked this time. All of them except for Matty laughed again.

“Stop with that, he will get angry.” Y/n defended Matty.

“I know it’s not my house either,” Nadia started saying. “If I can say something, I would like you to stay, Y/n.” she continued rather shyly. “It’s nice to have a girl around.” Of course, she was so nice. “I promised we’ll keep it down.” she looked quickly at Matty for reassurance and then again at her.

“Yeah, I know. I’m sorry you’ll have to survive with these boys, but I really need to go.” Y/n explained. “Another reason is the fact that I have to prepare to get back to work soon.”

“So, when did you start thinking about leaving? Since you apparently have a lot of reasons to leave.” Matty said with a strange expression on his face.

“Matty-”

“Are you that eager to leave?” ‘He was pissed?’, Y/n thought. 

“Matty- “she protested, not knowing what else to say.  

“No, it’s okay. I get it! You want to leave, it’s okay.” he stood up from his seat gathering the plates to wash them.

“Matty!” Y/n said again.

“It’s fine, Y/n!” he said more sternly, obviously not fine with the situation. 

The rest of the group –included Nadia–, took that as a cue to leave the friends so they could talk. They made stupid excuses, leaving Matty and Y/n alone in the kitchen.

Matty went to the sink, beginning to wash the dishes. After letting a big breath out, Y/n stood up approaching where he was standing.

“Why are you so angry?” she asked him, folding her arms, standing beside Matty looking at his profile. Matty was stroking the plates with more force than needed for the task in hand.

“I’m not. I said that I got it, and it’s fine.” he answered.

“You’re obviously not fine, Matthew.”

“Do you want to know how am I? Perfect.” he stated, turning the water off and drying his hand with a cloth while he turned to look at her. “I really don’t get it why you want to leave so suddenly.”

“It’s not that I want to- “another big lie. She wanted to, she needed to.

“Bullshit!”

Y/n tried to defend herself, “I’m not going to disappear…”

“Bullshit!”

“Can you stop that?” Y/n stood directly in front of Matty. 

“I know you’re going to disappear. I know you. We’re best friends and something is bothering you, I can tell. It hurts that you’re not telling me anything and I fucking bet you told George already.” She couldn’t tell him the truth.

“Is this more about that competition?” Y/n tried to distract him.

“Yes- No- Of course, not- This is about you and me.” Matty said, melting her heart a little. He was obviously troubled with the idea of Y/n leaving.

“Matty, there is nothing…mayor going on. Trust me. I need silence. You said it, you know me. I crave my space…alone.” she told him sweeter this time.

“Yes, I know. But you can find somewhere here-“

“You know that’s a lie.” ‘What a hypocrite I am’, Y/n thought. 

“I know.”

“You aren’t gonna miss me. You have the boy and Nadia- “she moved uncomfortably in her place.

“It’s not the same, you’re my best friend. I’ll miss you, darling.” Matty looked at her with his best doggy eyes.

“Don’t!” Y/n pointed a finger at him.

“What?” he played dumb.

“Don’t give me puppy eyes, it won’t work.” she smiled this time.

“Shit, are you so certain about it?” he looked down, defeated.

“Yes.” Y/n simply said.

“Okay, I understand. You can go.”

“Thanks for your permission that I didn’t ask for.” Y/n tried to joke.

“But- “ he ignored her.

“But?”

“But promise me that you are not going to disappear for too long.” he said, staring directly into her eyes.

“I promise.” Y/n said way too quickly. After a couple of seconds, she had to look elsewhere.

“Can we hug?” he said very slowly. 

Y/n chuckled, placing her arms around his shoulders, at the same time Matty placed his on her waist.

“I love you.” Matty mumbled on her left shoulder.

“I love you too, Matty.” Y/n said, feeling it from the deepest of her heart. There lied the difference. 

Maybe, she couldn’t love anyone like she loved Matty, even though she had to try for the good of their relationship. 

-------------------------------------------------

Taglist: @hollybrislen

[starksbabie]

You Belong With Me

Eddie’s got what he always dreamed of, he is passing his classes, Hellfire is going great, Corroded Coffin is sounding better than ever, Chrissy Cunningham is his girlfriend, and his best friend Y/N is right by his side.

A/N: A fic inspired by Taylor Swift’s You Belong With Me where Eddie overlooks his best friend who is completely in love with him... or does he? Hurt/Comfort. One of my fics with a happy ending.

Wordcount: 1.4k

Eddie laughs keeping his arms tight around Chrissy’s waist as she groans and stomps her foot in response to a joke he made.

“Aw, come on babe it’s just a joke!” Eddie laughs, pressing a loud wet kiss to Chrissy’s cheek, making the strawberry blonde girl gasp.

“Eddie!” She squeals.

You just roll your eyes at their antics and look back at your lunch, you still can’t really believe that they’re dating. Of course, you had known about Eddie’s crush on Chrissy forever, but never in a million years did you think the head cheerleader, queen of Hawkins High, would return his affections.

You look up when Eddie snaps his fingers in front of your face.

“Hello? You in there?” He asks, giving you an odd, slightly concerned look, you notice the cafeteria is mostly emptied out now.

“Yeah, sorry just thinking about that quiz in Ms. O'Donnell's.” You look at him and smile packing up your stuff.

“…we have a quiz in O’Donnell’s today?”

“Eddie!”

You lay back on your bed listening to your new Van Halen album, when your window slides open and Eddie comes tumbling in.

“You know one of these times you’re going to get caught in here.” You laugh, as he rights himself and settles himself back onto your bed next to you. “Is this your new album?” He smiles, ignoring your statement, putting his hand behind his head as he relaxes next to you, looking up at the glow-in-the-dark stars stuck to your ceiling.

“Yeah, it’s really good, I think I like Sammy Hagar.” You say, looking at him, taking in his side profile, admiring the slope of his nose and the fizz of his curls as his listens to the music filling your room.

He turns to look at you, and you think you’ve been caught but Eddie doesn’t seem to notice that you were staring.

“Really? Better than David Lee?”

“Yeah. Here, Listen to this.” You get up and put on a song that you had listened to earlier for him, before laying back down. The two of you lay there side-by-side, and finish the entire album before arguing over which lead singer is better.

After a while Eddie puts on another album and breaks out a joint that he brought with him. The two of you lay next to each other smoking, enjoying the music and each other’s company without feeling the need to fill the air between you with endless conversation. Once the joint is reduced to nothing but ash and the album has been flipped to the ‘B’ side Eddie starts telling you his plans for after graduation.

“I’m gonna do it. I swear it, I’m getting out of this town one way or another. I know my uncle wants me to come work at the plant with him, but I just can’t imagine that as my future. I want to play stages. I’m going to get me a warlock and I’m going to LA and I will find someone, anyone who will take me seriously.”

You smile at him as he talks, you know if anyone deserves to get out of this hick town it’s him. His imagination, his dreams, his personality. They’ve always been too big for Hawkins.

“And it doesn’t hurt that Chrissy is going to UCLA next year either.” He adds.

There it is, the one thing that could dampen the amazing evening you’d been having, you’d almost forgotten about her.

“Oh… She is?”

“Yeah, she got the letter this afternoon. I’m going with her. She’s the best thing that ever happened to me, Y/N. I’m so lucky.” He smiles and sits up, pulling his shoes back on, “I should get going, but I’ll see you tomorrow for Hellfire.”

You watch as he climbs out the window, before closing it behind him. You sit back on the bed and put your head in your hands and wishing, and hoping and wanting more than anything for Eddie to see you as more than his best friend.

You don’t know why you’re here. You sit next to Eddie and the rest of the Hellfire boys in the bleachers watching Lucas play basketball, at least that’s what you’re telling yourself. You know Eddie is here for one reason, who’s wearing a short skirt and currently standing on the sidelines of the game. You try your best to focus on the game but it’s hard to not notice how Eddie whistles at her after she does a cartwheel, or how he claps loudly each time she does something.

After the game everyone decides to go to Benny’s for milkshakes, but you excuse yourself saying that you have a headache. You walk home and lock yourself in your bedroom laying in your bed feeling so lonely over the fact that the man you are head over heels for, doesn’t see you in the same light at all. You don’t register the tears at first, it’s not until they are dripping down your cheeks that you realize the sound you’re hearing is your own sobs. You lay there and allow the sadness to overwhelm, and envelop you until the peaceful darkness of sleep pulls you in.

You do your best over the next few weeks to avoid Eddie, especially if he’s with Chrissy, which seems to be all the time. The school year is coming to a close and there are more and more parties and celebrations, which makes it harder to avoid him while still enjoying time with your other friends. You decide to skip Jason Carver’s party though because you know Chrissy will absolutely drag Eddie there. Instead, you have a movie night with some of your other friends and find for the first time in a while you don’t feel so lonely.

After everyone goes home, you work on cleaning things up. You know it’s late but you’d rather get it done now than have to do it in the morning, who cares if it’s the middle of the night. You make your way up to your room and get ready for bed, and are startled by the knock on your window, opening it there he is, hair disheveled.

“Hey…” He smiles, “can I come in?”

You nod and step back giving him space to crawl on in, he tumbles through the window with as much as grace as usual and he sprawls on the floor looking up at you.

“What are you doing here, Eddie?”

“Why are you avoiding me, Y/N?” He sits up and leans against the wall under the windowsill.

You pause and look at him, before sitting next to him with your back against the wall too.

“Why aren’t you at Carver’s party with Chrissy?” you answer his question with another, two can play at that game.

He sighs and looks at you.

“Her friends are so fake. There’s not one real, genuine thing about any of them. It’s exhausting to be around them. I’d rather be here. Around you. So… Why are you avoiding me?”

You take a deep breath and look at your hands in your lap, “can’t you see, Eddie. She’s just like them. I’m the one who understands you. I’ve been here all along, so why can’t you see? You don’t belong with her Eddie. You belong with me.”

The room is silent for a long moment after your confession, before Eddie lets out a long breath and hooks his finger under your chin to lift your face so you’re looking at him.

“Do you really mean that?”

“Yes, I really mean it.”

He leans in and seals his lips over yours in a warm, loving kiss. Nothing is perfect but he knows, no one knows him better than you. You have always fit together like two puzzle pieces and if he’d realized just how much you’d loved him from the start he never would have asked Chrissy out. Together you two can make it through anything, and this, this kiss feels like perfection.

[girlreviews]

Review #184: She’s So Unusual, Cyndi Lauper

You’re receiving a fair warning right at the outset: there are going to be no less than two references to The Simpsons in this review – possibly more -- and I’m not even a little bit sorry about it.

I think that Cyndi Lauper is one of the very first female artists I ever knew the name of and recognized, and knew her record from start to finish. I don’t think it was this one. I believe it was a compilation CD called Twelve Deadly Cyns… And Then Some, that had a really striking image of her with bright yellow hair and a bright red hat. It had all of the major hits from this album, and the next few, as well as the most interesting remix of Girls Just Wanna Have Fun that was done by the guys from Redbone, and was very much my first introduction to the bassline from Come And Get Your Love. That shit worked.

Anyway, I wish that every three-year-old girl got to hear Cyndi Lauper like this because she’s fucking iconic. Powerhouse voice. Uninhibited. Artist. Creative genius. A girl’s girl and a woman’s woman. I’d love to get drunk with her and play a round of cards. I bet she’s been treated like a child while navigating this industry. I just feel it in my bones and guts. Because of the earnest, girlish, sincere, whimsical music she’s making, as well as her unapologetic cute and girly aesthetic and small frame. But she’s always demanded to be taken seriously. She’s the inspiration I’ve carried around as an experienced professional in my field: I can have a bubble tea pencil case with a smiley face on it, and cute stationary, and a notepad with a bird on it, and a cute haircut and fun outfits. It doesn’t mean I’m childish, or any less good at my job, and I will rip you a new asshole if you fucking cross me or any of my employees, cool? Do not be fooled by the enamel pins on my jacket. I could stab you with them if I wanted. I just don’t, that’s all.

My notes: Money Changes Everything, which it does, has a harmonica solo in it, and I think we all need to take a moment and bow down to the boldness of that. How many harmonica solos do we hear outside something like Bob Dylan? It’s pretty few and far between and it’s really fucking great in this song. Every single track on this album is deep, fun, and interesting. And some of them have harmonica solos! When I was a doofy little teen, I used to have a necklace with a tiny harmonica on it. It was ugly as could be, but it was pretty cool. I recently started looking into whether there were any cute, adult versions of it. There are. And I am once again inspired by Saint Cyndi to be cute, functional, and badass.

I’m going to save Girls Just Wanna Have Fun for last because I have so much to say about it. So next up will be Time After Time, which to be honest is every bit as iconic. Genuinely. It’s absolutely beautiful. Stunning. Moving. How does one write a song so incredibly poignant and dedicated to someone? Can anybody listen to this synth ballad and not just feel their heart plunge into it? Maybe they can. Maybe they’re a monster. Not a Simpsons reference, but to illustrate my point: even April Ludgate, known to be cold-hearted and dead inside, can’t resist the pull of this song.

She Bop is one of my favorites. I think I loved it when I was really tiny. It makes sense that I would have. I loved nonsense. I still love nonsense. It’s a lot of nonsense (Oop, she bop, she bop, she bop, he bop, we bop, I bop, you bop, they bop, be bop, a lu bop), but it’s positioned over some very serious-sounding synths and electric drums. That’s my exact shit and always has been. There’s a good chance Cyndi Lauper and this song are largely responsible for my entire persona, in hindsight. That’s fine with me. I think this song is about bad boys and having crushes on them (hey, hey they say I better get a chaperone, because I can’t stop messin’ with the danger zone). Cyndi Lauper has always been completely about her uninhibited noises. Woops, and breaths, and squeaks, and squawks. They’re amazing, and they add absolutely everything to the experience. Simpsons reference #1 coming up here. They made it the butt of the joke, but I loved it. Cyndi Laupi (yes, Laupi), singing the National Anthem at a baseball game, with all that breathy, squeaky, baritone nonsense. Absolutely fucking hilarious. Also the way in which I mostly learned the words to the National Anthem (you try knowing it when you grew up in Europe? I do not accept your judgment, and frankly I’m still pretty shaky on the words and I don’t care).

Every track on this album slaps, and you should listen to it, but it is one of those where you kind of have to focus on the singles/iconic tracks because they are iconic for a reason. So here we go. Girls Just Wanna Have Fun. I want to say that this song is so happy and upbeat and means everything to every girl and woman that knows it, which, is like, all of them, ever, and if it isn’t, it should be. However. There’s also a sad undertone to it, or at least I have always felt one. It’s always just tugged at my heart a little bit. I actually have no idea whether that’s just me or whether that’s a universal experience. It’s like a gentle feminist wish. She’s singing about oppressive experiences — from parents, from partners, from society:

“Oh Mama dear, we’re not the fortunate ones”

“Oh Daddy dear, you know you’re still number one”

“Some boys take a beautiful girl, and hide her away from the rest of the world”

It genuinely hurts my feelings. I’m not sure a song has ever so captured the simplicity of experience. Just trying to exist. Just trying to walk in the sun. Just trying to go home and chill after work, and for some reason, it’s just hard to do. But, in singing it, she’s fulfilling the wish, because she’s having fucking fun. It’s fun. I don’t know man, that’s really cool. I love this song. But it’s way deeper than I imagine a lot of people have ever given her credit for. I imagine to a lot of people, it’s just a silly little party song. But it’s not. And if you want to fight with me about that, I’ll get my cute enamel pins ready. Here’s Homer Simpson singing it, which I have always found extremely endearing. Do you think it’s lost on him? Probably. That’s sort of what’s endearing about it.

[hanggarae]

big deep breath OK SO . ive been so excited for this comeback like idk with every new cb i feel like i get even more excited than with the precious one yk so i was really waiting for it to come out!! they released the mv while i was in class (they hate me) but during a little break not long after i managed to watch it and i was bobbing my head and swinging my feet at the sound LJKE U DONT GET IT I WAS GENUINELY SO HAPPY

honestly this is one of my fav svt albums and idk it just makes me so happy all the songs are so perfect and good there's not a single one i don't enjoy and the aesthetic is so cute and im so excited and impatient to FINALLY HAVE MY ALBUM IN MY HANDS ARGHHHH but yes this was such a success im so happy they broke so many records and they just continue to prove how talented they are wooooo

for the songs there isn't one i dislike at all but i really like SOS idk the beat js so nice and the lyrics are really good and this may be also due to me loving marshmello when i was younger but STILL !!! Diamond days makes me SOOOOO NOSTALGIC i love it so much im so glad they used kind off the same sound/sample as Shining Diamond im in love 💔💔 i think back 2 back is my fav song of the album!! i love minghaos highnote and the beat and just the overal vibe idk it stood out to me sm their voices fit the song so well im obsessed with the part around 1.30 where dino and hao sing in like a low voice? YGM BUT ITS SOOOOO GOOD just the entire song is so good i think tbh i have a soft spot for pu songs 😭😭😭😭 i haven't had much the time to really analyze yawn but the soft voices and vocals are heavenly i genuinely passed away BECAUSE YOU ARE MY BREATH 💔💔💔💔 LIKE WDYM UR MY BREATH WHY IS THIS SONG MAKING ME TEAR UP DONT EVEN LIE RNNN monster is such a fun song i just know I'll play it on repeat like fire while im walking to uni to wake me up and get me in study mode 💥💥💥 it's giving Halloween vibes and im here for it!!!! it's also just fun to me because my roommate/bsf and i bet on who sang the first line and she swore it was gyu and i swore it was vernon and today we didn't see each other much so like 1h ago she told me she saw in a lyric vid that gyu sang that line and i was like ??? girl i have weverse and i follow it religiously so ik it's both of them AND WE COULDNT AGREE BECAUSE WE DIDNT HAVE ANY PROOF so i ended up showing her weverse and it was so fun we were both right in the end and we did a silly dance LMAOOAOOOO IT WAS SO FUNNY 😻😻😻😻 but lemme tell u about headliner. FUCK THAT SONG BRO WHY AM I CRYING ??????? no it's actually my fav song along back 2 back like are u actually kidding me ???? this song makes me wanna study even more for my Korean classes like FUCK HEADLINER SO BAD 💔😭😭😭😭😭 I CRY AND LAUGH WITH YOU THIS NIGHT💔💔💔💔💔 WHERE WE OFFER ALL OUR LOVE💔💔💔💔 HOW BEAUTIFUL💔💔💔💔💔 BEVAHSE YOURE MY HEADLINER 💔💔💔💔💔 this moment when we shine together don't lie rn I'll actually kms and take a bath with my toaster like wow jumping of the 9th floor of the apartment building next door seems like such a fun activity today 😻😻😻😻😻😻

RIGHT OMG I WAS LITERALLY TUNING IN EVERYDAY AT 12 AM KST TO SEE IF THEY DROPPED FHE ANNOUNCEMENT AND WHEN THEY DID I WAS SOOOOO HYPED ‼️ like fml was SO huge i couldn’t wait for this one ALSO THE MV LITERALLY RELEASED DURING A PRACTICE FIRE DRILL FOR ME 😭😭

it genuinely is one of my faves too, like although the songs aren’t necessarily my fave of each unit (i still LOVE each one) the album was just so well put together ?? everything flowed perfectly and like usually it’ll take me like two or three listens to like some songs but i listened to the album start to finish ONCE and fell in love w EVERYTHING i’m not even kidding ❤️‍🔥 I CANR WAIT FOR MY ALBUMD TO GET HERE AYSHSHAHDJHS

right like there wasn’t a bad song at all !!! my fave has to be headliner bc it’s just so fucking emotional like woozi why u got me crying on the train home 😐😐😐 it gives me MAJOR our dawn is hotter than day vibes which i love sm !! the whole album vibes reminded me a little of you make my day a little i think it’s just me but yeah ‼️ i LOVED back 2 back too omg perf unit ALWAYS hits and YAWN OMG 😓 every track was amazing 😓😓😓 STOP THE DEBATES ON THE MONSTER FIRST LINE LMFAAOAOAO 😭😭 speaking of monster, cheol’s part.. changed me . i loved SOS too omg it gave such like band vibes ??

ALSO HELPPPPP HEADLINER’S LYRICS OMG 😓😓 my mom heard me listen to it and said “girl why are u listening to such sad lyrics..”

[cchickki]

"About the Blogger" Meme

Thanks for tagging me @currymanganese! ❤️ sorry i'm doing this super late ugh

Star Sign(s):

virgo sun, pisces moon, capricorn rising (i can list my entire chart if anyone is interested lol)

Favorite Holidays:

i'm not religious but i absolutely love christmas. my favorite time of year and favorite holiday. i get depressed whenever it's over and i have to take the decorations down.

Last Meal:

i think a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. i was craving it lol

Current Favorite Musician:

lana del rey and kendrick lamar! i listen to a lot of music and all different genres, but those are my go to. there's something about fantastic writing/wordplay and production across both of their genres that just inspires me and transports me to a different place when i listen.

if anyone is interested, my spotify profile is here: (x)

When the Tigers Broke Free by Pink Floyd

The Wall is one of my favorite albums!

Last Movie Watched:

Everything Everywhere All At Once

i'm so glad i finally got to watch this movie, it was incredible. although watching it with my boomer dad at parts was awkward (aka the butt plug part lmaoooo)

Last TV Show Watched:

oh man, still trying to finish Succession, my husband is dragging his feet with it even though we both are enjoying it. finished The Boys almost 2 months ago, need to start Gen V soon. i'm bad at finishing shows, unless they're mini series.

Last Book/Fic Finished:

i recently reread Concrete Rose by Angie Thomas, the prequel to The Hate U Give. i haven't finished any of my fics in awhile, except for the two mini requests from my friend @chrissymodi-frost.

Last Book/Fic Abandoned:

oh boy... i've got quite a few i'm struggling to get through... just look at my ao3 and you can see how bad my writer's block has gotten lately :(

Currently Reading:

rereading The Hate U Give by Angie Thomas <3

Last Thing Researched for Art/Writing/Hyperfixation:

i graduated in may 2023 with my art history degree, so i was deep into ancient egyptian history and art, and had to write a hefty 20 page paper on german painter Albrecht Dürer. my most recent hyperfixation was the uncharted games again, so while writing i was researching the Hoysala empire

Favorite Online Fandom Memory:

first joining tumblr and meeting so many friends on here. but i'll tell you back in 2013 when the citadel dlc for mass effect launched, that was an incredible build up and very fun few months.

Favorite Old Fandom You Wish Would Drag You Back In/Have A Resurgence:

not really an "old" fandom, but i was HEAVY into spiderverse over the summer, met some great mutuals through it. i still spiderverse, but don't feel as fixated with it at the moment. the fandom was kind of annoying with some people's think pieces, not gonna lie, and kind of turned a few of us off from it. i'm sure it'll have another "resurgence" when the next movie Beyond the Spiderverse comes out!

Favorite Thing You Enjoy That Never Had an Active or Big "Fandom" but You Wish It Did:

most recently the movie The Creator! movie was so visually stunning, with great/powerful themes, and one of my favorite tropes: found family (kinda) with a father/daughter dynamic. not enough people liked it/saw it which sucks, so the fandom is pretty much non existent for it. i want more art and fanfics from it! i'm going to be buying it soon, that way i can get inspirited and hopefully create more for it!

Tempting Project You're Trying to Reign In/Don't Have Time For:

i was working on creating a real-life version of nate's notebook from uncharted 4. it's taking a lot of time, and is quite an undertaking so i had to take a break from it. i do want to continue it though!

no pressure tags (sorry if you were already tagged!): @mothertodaughters, @chrissymodi-frost. @malabadspice, @not-those-kids, @durrtydawg, @lilylavender, @lilsnatch, @libertatias, @xinamiguel, @georgieluz, @distantsonata, @soft-girl-musings (and anyone else who wants to! sorry i'm trying to remember all my moots tumblr names)

[actuallyitsstar]

😈 Has there been a point in a story where you did something just to be playfully mean to your readers?

✍ Do you have a beta reader?

⛔ 🎶 ⏳💥 🎃❌

🧠 Pick a character, and I'll tell you my favorite headcanon for them.

🤩 Who is your favorite character to write?

🤲 Would you please share a snippet of a wip?

(this is so many and obviously feel free to answer however many you want!!)

✨ send me an emoji and ask me about my fanfic! ✨

😈 has there been a point in a story where you did something just to be playfully mean to your readers?

honestly, i can't say that there has been! i mean don't get me wrong, i have certainly been writing EVEN MORE ANGST AGAIN and been like. hmm. the people in my phone are gonna hate me for this :) lol. but that angst is also for ME bc like. that's my jam lol. and i never post unfinished multichaptered fics, so i feel its not likely that i'd ever do this, since i don't get feedback on my writing until after it's already completed, lol.

✍ do you have a beta reader?

i don't! i never have, actually. it is an intriguing idea but i've never been a ~serious~ enough writer for it, i don't think, and i also cringe at the idea of anyone seeing anything i've ever written before i have re read and re-edited it about 50 thousand times lol

⛔do you have a fic you started, but scrapped?

recently, no, but i have at least 10 unfinished fics for various old fandoms that are like. not *scrapped*, per se, but just uhhh unlikely to be completed any time soon lol, some being 10+ years old. i never say never but like AM i going finish that OC-au of the mentalist season 6 where somebody is trying to attack all the "psychics" in texas because they have a grudge against what some fake psychic told them like 10 years ago???? honestly, probably not, lol.

🎶do you listen to music while you write? what song have you been playing on loop lately?

yes, i do! can't write in just silence, usually, but it can't have words, either, because i can't hear Words and also Write Different Words, lol. recently i have been listening to 70s-80s Japanese city pop playlists (here is one of my favorites!) since i don't speak the language and it also is such a vibe. in the past i've also done the in love with a ghost vibes, lofi girl, and instrumental synth-wave, as well. i also really like the artist City Girl for that reason, and i think my favorite album of theirs is Neon Impasse. I listened to that on loop a lot writing ttnp!

⏳how long does it take you to write a fic, or a chapter?

this is a very difficult to answer question because it depends on a lot of factors, lol. I have written 20k words in two days before. I have also gone weeks only writing a thousand. it depends on how much free time i have (recently, almost none, lol), how much down time there is at my job (i wrote a large portion of ttnp in down time at my job, and there is not going to be job down time for the foreseeable future unfortunately, which has really put a damper on things). as long as i am at least mildly inspired or motivated, and have ample enough time, i can get a lot done, usually, but it all depends on a lot of factors.

💥how do you feel about criticism?

i am made of tissue paper pls dont hurt me akdshdjfhf i am actually very much okay with and welcoming of it, actually, bc without it, i would never improve. definitely needs to be in good faith, because being made of tissue paper isn't entirely a lie lol, but if there's something i have done poorly or something that i have the opportunity to do better next time, i am always happy to take it into consideration!

🎃do you write fics for holidays? what is your favorite holiday inspired fic?

hmmmm well i actually never have but i love the concept and i am hoping to get to do it this year ;) ;)

❌what's a trope you will never write?

for an actual trope i'd probably have to think a lot longer and harder than i have in answering these questions so far, lol, but one thing i can say, though it's not a trope, is that i'll never write smut. your local sex repulsed asexual is just not about it, lol. which is not to say ive never read and enjoyed fics w/ smut in them!!! i just skip ahead until it's over, lol.

🧠pick a character and i'll tell you my favorite headcanon for them!

omg i don't know which of us is supposed to be doing the headcanoning but i'll go ahead and assume it's you ?????? and my pick is iceman. pls tell me ur fav headcanon !!! i am excited !!!

🤩do you have a favorite character to write?

recently, it had been maverick, to no one's surprise, lol. what can i say. somethin' about the inherent trauma just speaks to me <3

🤲 would you please share a small snippet of a WIP?

HMMM...... I SUPPOSE..... A SMALL ONE......... ;)

THANK U SO MUCH for the ask !!! i loved answering all of them and i am so sorry it has been taking me so long to do everything recently oh my god. i am, as bilbo would say (im paraphrasing), feeling like butter scraped across way the fuck too much bread these days akdhfdjfhf but i rly appreciate ur asks and ur support and time and continued habit of thinking of me !!! <3 <3

[chakazard]

I have been a fan of Ezra Furman since Sep 5, 2019, when Bandcamp chose Twelve Nudes as its album of the day. I don't always check the album of the day but thankfully I did that day, and I knew before I listened that I needed it in my life. When I did listen, I was sold. I was done. I was changed. An absolutely perfect album start to finish. Since then I have flipped and fallen for a number of her songs, I devoured her 33 ⅓ book on Lou Reed's Transformer, and, like a lot of people, I came out of the shut down times being much more willing to be open about my own powerfully perplexing feeings about my gender and sexuality, and Ezra's music and her observations on Lou Reed from that book were absolutely a part of my journey. Although the show was delayed a few months, I was elated to have the opportunity to see her perform at the Music Hall of Williamsburg.

There was not a single second of the show where I was not either singing, dancing, crying, beaming, or flipping the bird. I think I started crying at the second word of the first song. I am not usually one for being starstruck, but I could barely believe I was in the same room as this incredible artist. She held the audience in the palm of her hand the entire show, and I am honestly not sure to what extent she realized it. An audience, by the way, that was extremely and beautifully diverse, containing various ages, races, and especially genders, all united by the heartfelt words of the star of this evening. Ezra is the perfect mix of performer and songwriter. I may have seen people who are better at one or the other, though I can't think of any at the moment, but I'm sure I've never seen anyone better at both. Her every motion on stage seemed possessed by the songs, completely driven by the music, except for some of the between song bits, where she seemed too aware and suddenly remembered, embarrassed, that she was in front of an audience. "Songs of love and war" she kept repeating, and unfortunately songs of war are just as necessary if not more than joyous songs of love at the moment, especially from a trans artist in today's culture. She was a magnetic performer, even moreso in the way that she did not seem overflowing with confidence, but she did seem invigorated by the stage and the sound and the spirit of the songs.

And what songs! I feel like Ezra Furman's songs transport me, fully immersed inside of them, as if I am living their truths. She opened with The Train Comes Through, the beautiful song that opens her newest album evoking Bob Dylan and Leonard Cohen, and from there exploded into the song that first made me a fan, Evening Prayer. She cracked my heart wide open with Book Of Our Names when she sang "the names will be the real ones that are ours.". I slow danced by myself to I Wanna Be Your Girlfriend and punk danced all the gunk out of my soul to My Teeth Hurt. I reverently sang all the words to Point Me Towards the Real and felt the thrill of Can I sleep In Your Brain rolling seamlessly into Calm Down. I knew there was no better conclusion than What Can You Do But Rock n Roll. When she returned for the encore and went into Lilac and Black, I pledged myself to take up those colors and join the queer girl gang. I put the final nail in my voice's coffin with the line TO THEM WE'LL ALWAYS BE FREAKS in Suck the Blood From My Wound. Before leaving, Ezra stood in the center of the stage and affirmed that the joy and anger had become one thing, and the name for that thing is rock n roll. If there is a religion based on that statement I want to join it. And she left us with Tell 'Em All To Go To Hell. My long neglected, unrecognized queer heart was full as fuck. I was expecting an unbelievable performance and Ezra overdelivered on every mark.

Before the show, I did something I normally don't at concerts and decided to grab a drink. While there I struck up a conversation with a fellow fan who had traveled all the way from Vermont for the show. Talking to strangers generally doesn't come easy to me, but I think I kept my end of the conversation moving and even entertaining. While I was talking to Geoffrey from Vermont about secret societies and life in general, two people came up to me, fellow poets who recognized me from an open mic I'd attended a month earlier. I took this all as a sign that this evening and my life as a whole are moving in a good direction. I left the bar and went upstairs in time to catch Jeffrey Lewis, who I had actually seen and enjoyed about 15 years ago, but I hadnt spent much time revisiting. He was an excellent opener, showing boundless creativity in both songs and the biographical graphic novels of Keith Haring and Sitting Bull projected behind him.

After the show, I was elated. What a perfect performance! I decided to do something else I normally don't, and wait in line to buy merch, because Ezra had more than earned my t-shirt money. When I was a couple spots back from the front of the line, I turned around and saw that she was sitting in the corner of the room, talking to someone. I reached into my rarely reached reservoir of social courage and resolved that if she was still there after I'd made my purchase, I would go up and say hi. "excuse me, I hate to interrupt, but you are fucking amazing!" was all I could think to say. Today, I think all the things I could have said. "Twelve Nudes is a perfect album!" "Temple of Broken Dreams makes me cry every time!" "I wish I had your music in high school!" "You helped me get in touch with my gender and it's made my life so much better." I guess "fucking amazing" is a decent blanket. She told me it was a dream come true getting to perform like that. I stumbled over the phrase "best show ever" and let her return to her conversation. I floated, glowing, all the way home.

Sometimes art hangs on its own and brings meaning to a life when it is sorely needed. Sometimes a life seems indivisible from the art that flows in, out, and around it. I have been riding one of those rare waves of energy and inspiration lately. There has been an influx of creative people in my life and I feel like this just made the show so much better for me. As I said, normally I wouldn't have swapped jokes and stories with a rando from Vermont, and I would have left and hopped the next train back to suburbia rather than sticking around to meet one of my favorite singers. As it is, I had an overall incredible evening that I will remember forever. I am an Aries and this is my season. There is nothing I believe in more than the beautiful two edged sword that is rock n roll and I don't think I've ever gotten closer to experiencing the purest most powerful version of that than getting to witness Ezra Furman sing her heart out in Brooklyn until the sound covered everyone who could hear. Songs of love and war, indeed.

[fruitlilliie]

bewitched listening party (i<3laufey)

I found Laufey while on tiktok a long time ago before she released music, I knew her because she was a singer/cellist and so was I so I ate up her content. She now has literally the most incredible discography of any newer artist, she has such a unique and beautiful sound like the jazz and orchestral sounds she uses tickles my brain and feeds the part of me that has always loved all jazz/orchestral/choral pieces and performances. As I'm writing this little blurb I'm listening to her new album "Bewitched" and holy shit like seriously I feel like I am ascending while listening to this. I just finished with "While you were sleeping" and it's just indescribable how angelic it sounds. The opening song "Dreamer" started and I just fell over. I was sitting on my floor so it was totally fine but just don't have any perception of what the song will be and then prepare to listen to the entire album (approx. 49 minutes) and you're just going to transform. If you don't like jazz or more classical style singing then gtfo but also come back because Laufey is so amazing that she'll change your opinion. She's always mentioning sunset and that kills me. Love some California representation though but the song "California and Me" just came on and its time for my heart to just fall out of my chest I guess. I know this song very well already as it was released in an EP before the album release. Maybe I am overly emotional about this song because my ex posted it after I talked about how much I love Laufey... but I digress, this song is absolutely stunning. If you have ever felt immense heartbreak hold onto that feeling. If you have ever been on the ride "Soarin" at Disneyworld, imagine the feeling of being on that ride but its like your life X California and Me playing in the background. Now bring back that heartbreak feeling and add it into the mix and that's just like how this song makes me feel just sitting in bed. So I am halfway through the album and I think the most heartbreaking thing she could have possibly done is put the Nocturne (Interlude) right in between "California and Me" and "Promise" (Promise absolutely wrecks me and makes me cry every time its longing for someone you can't have anymore and knowing you shouldn't reach out, you promised, but time moves so much slower without them. How can you distance yourself from someone you love so much, someone you want to spend your life with. "how we didn't say goodbye, just see you very soon" "it hurts to be something its worse to be nothing with you". Like please. Give me a chance to breathe before giving me another gut-wrenching line. She says she'll always lose the temptation of you. "Well never last". She's done the math. WHO HURT HER. Like hello relatable but LORDY. Then we go light bossa nova careless fun song like the variation and just damn TALENT from this girl is insane. Laufey stan for life when can I see her in concert I am itching for a wintertime concert from her. Until then, I'll be daydreaming to her music and living in my delulu world or crying my broken heart out to her sadder songs. Either way, this album is a really beautiful piece of art to the world. Like we are all so lucky to be alive at the same time as music like this (currently listening to serendipity) is being created. "Letter to my 13 year self" is the trifecta perfect addition to this years aim at healing and understanding self and girlhood and life like this song X Barbie X Eras Tour really has made me feel like a human being again. This song would absolutely kill me if I were listening at 13, that age is so horrible and vulnerable and formative like this song would have been such a comfort knowing that it's all going to be ok and not even knowing what "it" is. There so much to learn and to lose and at 13 there's no way to even fathom what on earth will change . Ending this album with Bewitched is beautiful and sick and twisted. Such a heartbreaking album and ending it with a love song pains me but being the title track, shows there's always love at the end.

[folklore-barnes]

i will always be proud of the fact that i became a swiftie when the world hated taylor.

'cause i could've easily followed the hate train, especially because i wasn't her biggest fan. i liked some of her music but she came off as fake to me in 1989 era, like she was desperate for people to like her and wasn't genuine.

but the moment everything exploded, i was so confused as to why people were against her and it felt like the gaslight of the century because i did not understand how she was to blame. i really felt for her and immediately sided with her in the feud, while still maintaining that there was something odd about her.

around that time, i listened to red (standard version) for the second time (first time i thought it was boring, with the exception of the pop singles. i'm ashamed). it was pretty random, i was bored, the power was out and i had the album on my music library, and decided to give it a listen...

i promise i am not kidding when i tell you something SHIFTED in my entire existence the moment i started listening to State of Grace. like from the very first moment, blondie had my full attention. i was like “oh? hold on, this goes hard”, and that thought just kept on solidifying with each song that came on. when i finished i was OBSESSED. i could not believe what i had just experienced. i was in awe, not just of the production but her voice and lyrics. i honestly felt like a whole new person, it was crazy. in that moment i was like “this girl is worth it. spending pennies on her is worth it. supporting her is worth it. she is so ridiculously talented and i think she is heavily misunderstood by the general public”.

that whole experience was it for me, and it was what made me decide to support her no matter what and to expose myself to the rest of her discography because i NEEDED it. and now i'm here, and i've never regretted it since. she is an icon; she was, is and will always be the moment. she is the music industry and rightfully so. idc if she's not a powerhouse, idc if she's not a professional dancer. what she already has is enough to make her as great as she is. and that's that, and i feel sorry for anyone whose taste doesn't go according to her talent.

bonus: i had watched a fearless documentary back when i was younger, and i really liked her in it. i thought she was a very sweet girl, and i really liked her, so i supported her but didn't really listen to much of her music, just the singles mostly. but at some point in 1989 era that thought started to change.

[evermoresversion]

Nick dating a singer- this would be so cute because he'd show up to every performance always bringing you flowers backstage and after every performance running on the the stage lifting you up kissing you and spinning you around and the crowd filled with your friends would be so supportive they'd clap even harder and the days you have recording at the studios he'd always show up and hug you and little kisses in-between takes whilst whispering I love you in your ear and most of your songs being about him 💖 he's just so happy and proud of his girl <3

ALL OF THE GIRLS YOU LOVED BEFORE, NICK LEISTER.

A/N The desire I had to write this was impressive, thank u so much for ur request, nonnie.

y/n/n: your nick name.

PAIRING Nick Leister x Fem!Reader

TW/TAGS Established relationship, pure fluff.

SUMMARY Your dream was always to be a singer, and Nick always supported you in the process, being your biggest fan when you achieved your dream.

NICK'S MASTERLIST | MASTERLIST

Your dream since you could remember had been to be a singer.

Your parents supported you with this, taking you to singing, piano, guitar and some other instrument classes.

Nick knew you since you were both sixteen years old and all you did was sing some covers on YouTube and a couple of songs you wrote.

But two years later you were discovered for one of those covers by a manager.

At twenty-one you were already a world-renowned singer.

Your concerts were sold out in a matter of hours, your albums were sold in their entirety. You were being totally successful.

Today you were almost finishing one of your concerts, adrenaline and happiness filled your heart, accelerating it when listening to all those people singing your music.

"Say my name and everything just stops." you sang into the microphone, dancing to the little choreography that this song carried, standing on the edge of the stage, looking at Nick in one of the VIP seats above the other people. Along with him were your closest friends and your mother.

"y/n!" the entire audience yelled over the lyrics, making you smile, you could swear your eyes were shining with adoration. You looked away from Nick to continue singing.

"I don't want you like a best friend, only bought this dress so you could take it off."

At the end of the show, you walked backstage with your hair a little stuck to your forehead and sides of your face from sweat, when you saw Nick you smiled, jogging over to him to hug him.

"You did so well." he murmured hugging you tightly around the waist, while you smiled gratefully with your chin resting on his shoulder. You kept your eyes closed until you both broke away from the hug.

He offered you a beautiful bouquet of your favorite flowers and you smiled receiving them and hugging him again.

When the whole tour was over you took a little vacation with Nick, starting to write some songs for your new album.

Needless to say, most of these songs were about him.

You found yourself sitting on the bed in the main room in the apartment you and Nick shared. Your boyfriend was sitting next to you watching a movie on television while you were writing in your notebook that you had always used for compositions.

"What do you think about this?" you asked, adjusting yourself better to be in front of him still sitting on the bed and he paused his movie. "your past and mine, are parallel lines, stars all aligned, they intertwined." you sang softly, and Nick couldn't think of a time when you looked more beautiful, achieving what you wanted, fulfilling your dreams.

"It's beautiful, I love it." He nodded caressing your cheek and you smiled convinced.

"Alright, thanks."

He was always the first to hear your songs during the writing process and after it.

More of a year later having all the songs on the album written, you were in the studio with Nick, starting to record them.

"When you think of all the late nights, lame fights over the phone." you were so focused on putting your all into the song that you didn't notice the look of love and adoration Nick had on you as he sat in one of the individual couches in the studio. "wake up in the morning with someone but feelin' alone."

You opened your eyes for a moment and you could read an 'I love you' come out of Nick's lips, making you smile and you formed a heart with your hands.

"a heart is drawn around your name, in someone's handwriting, not mine." you took a quick breath. "we're sneakin' out into town, holdin' hands, just killing time." You smiled looking at your boyfriend, thinking that he was the muse for that song. "your past and mine are parallel lines, stars all aligned, they intertwined, and taught you the way you call me baby, treat me like a lady, all that I can say is."

Another deep breath

"all of the girl you loved before, made you the one I've fallen for, every dead-end street led you straight to me." you smiled at Nick once more. And he could see it and hear it in the lyrics. The song was for him. "now you're all I need, I'm so thankful for all of the girls you loved before." you took a short pause. "but I love you more."

At the end a few hours later, you left the recording booth to talk to Nick. Which received you with open arms, hugging you tight, kissing your face, jaw and lips repeatedly.

"I love you so much." You giggled, feeling your heart warm in your chest at his words.

"I love you even more."

Two months later you announced your next album, in which you would transmit in each and every one of the songs everything you feel for Nick.

A month later you announced the next world tour on behalf of the new album.

In the middle of the tour was the date of your birthday. Everyone in the stadium where you were doing a show was full of posters wishing you happy birthday, supporting you, etc.

"Secret jokes, all alone, no one's home, sixteen and wilde!" you sang along with the audience in unison, the support you had was getting bigger and bigger, and you couldn't feel more and more proud of it.

That part of the lyrics was a clear reference to when you met Nick, the love of your life.

"And just know that, it's everything that made me, now I call you baby, it's why you're so amazing." once again you found yourself singing to Nick, looking up at the balcony where his seat was located.

"teenage love taught you there's good in goodbye, every woman that you knew brought you here." you sang walking across the stage looking at all your fans, looking at all the billboards, feeling fulfilled. "I wanna teach you how forever feels like!"

An hour after the concert you were thanking everyone for the birthday wishes.

"I just wanted to thank all of you for the support my new album has had, this tour and the good wishes for my birthday, I don't know what I would do without you."

Everyone began to shout and clap. But all the cheering suddenly intensified, you looked back in confusion when you saw some fans pointing back. And you felt arms carry you from behind, spinning around and laughing, you quickly recognized his laugh.

You could honestly recognize his laugh in any crowd.

One of the people who worked with you backstage was walking towards you with a cake in his hands.

Nick took the microphone from your hand to ask the crowd to sing along with him the happy birthday song.

"Happy birthday, dear y/n/n, happy birthday to you." everyone cheered as you blew out the candles on the cake.

"Did you make a wish?" Nick asked into the microphone and you nodded with a smile, testing the frosting with your finger. "what you asked for?"

"If I say it, it won't come true." you sentenced taking the microphone from his hand and the shouts and applause continued to be heard.

After that Nick said goodbye to you with a quick kiss on the lips and waved goodbye to your fans.

"I love him so much." you admitted with a smile, and your cheeks were flushed.

You kept singing the songs that were all in his honor.

disclaimer ── evermoresversion © 2023.

[finelinevogue]

can you do one where it’s the fine line show at the electric ballroom and you have just had a baby with Harry and it gets too loud and you have to leave and Harry gets really worried like where have you gone or…? angst & fluff please, thank you <33

gotta love a bit of baby dadrry content !! ;

After months of being in LA, Harry was finally back in the UK and was about to perform his newest album at the Electric Ballroom.

The atmosphere was so intense and crazy at the moment. Everyone was rushing around ready for Harry to be on stage in ten minutes time. He had been rehearsing all day and making sure everything was perfect for his first ‘Fine Line’ experience in the UK. Although this album was made in Japan, the UK always felt the most like home and he always enjoyed it most when he performed here.

So Harry was very excited for this show, yet he was also incredibly on edge. You had recently had a baby, only 2 months ago, and so it was very difficult with parenting at the moment. You and Harry both loved every damn second of being a parent, but with these shows it always got a bit hectic. You’d had to miss ‘Fine Line’ at the Forum because it was too much to handle, but now you felt like you could cope better. Harry was still just as nervous though.

“Promise me you’ll be okay?” Harry checked again, standing around backstage looking beautiful in his yellow suit. You said he looked like a banana and he agreed, saying he was the sexiest banana he knew.

Harry normally got changed and ready for his show as close to starting time as possible, to shove away the possibility of nerves if he was just standing around. Now, though, with baby Erin sat in his arms he got ready and hour before the show so he could spend as much time with his baby girl as possible. You had just finished feeding her and now Harry was burping her, not caring if his suit got ruined at this point. He loved his daughter too much to care about ruining designer suits anymore.

You smiled at Harry’s question, watching as he rocked your two month old daughter over his shoulder as she let out a few burps every once in a while. He had been worried all evening, not having experienced a show with the added pressure of his daughter being here yet. You were so excited to finally hear his new album and considering half the songs were about you, it was about time you heard them live.

“We’ll be fine, H. What’s the worst that could happen?” You asked rhetorically, earning a death glare from your husband himself.

“Oh don’t go down that route, Y/N.” Sarah chipped in, standing behind Harry as she made funny faces at your daughter.

“Yeah, he literally wrote a list of everything that could go wrong.” Mitch added, standing behind Sarah and smiling as her and Erin interacted. You knew he was thinking that it was only a matter of time before he would want to have kids with Sarah. Mitch was going to be such a cool dad.

“Harry, hun. We’re going to be okay.” You stressed, standing in front of him and cupping his cheek so he listened to you carefully. Sometimes his attention would be averted elsewhere, but whenever your skin touched his it was like all he could think about was you. It was your secret superpower.

“Just love y’both too much to see anything bad happen to you.” Harry pouted.

“We’ll be with all the rest of y’family the entire time and y’security guards too. We’re well protected, okay? I’ll protect Erin with m’life, you know that.” You swore, but you knew that Harry knew already because he felt exactly the same way. He would do anything for his daughter and anything for you, so it was no surprise when you said you felt exactly the same way.

“But who’ll protect you?” He asked, patting Erin’s back as she let out a small burp.

“Me.” You replied, proving that you were a strong woman and an even stronger mum.

“I trust you, flower. Just don’t trust everyone else. Just be careful, okay?”

“Promise.” Was all you replied and Harry was happy enough with your response that he dropped the conversation after that.

It took nearly five out of those final ten minutes to detach Harry from his daughter. He didn’t want to leave her and even more didn’t want to leave his little family. He didn’t realise how bad his separation anxiety was until he had to hand over Erin back to you and then kiss you both goodbye for the next two hours. You kissed him until he was satisfied that you’d be okay, Harry still having some overprotective doubts.

You were now stood in a pod with the rest of Harry’s family and yours, huddle away up high so you were away from pushing crowds. The place was completely packed and it looked like it was impossible to breathe downstairs by the stage. Erin was currently being cradled in your arms, her soft grey blanket draped over your shoulder in case she needed it urgently. Currently, she was looking up at you and trying to shove her tiny fists into her mouth.

“What’re y’doing hey? What y’doing y’cheeky monkey?” You asked Erin, full-well knowing she was never going to respond. She giggled as you used a free finger to tickle her sides. Her eyes were as green as her dad’s and they sparkled so bright when she laughed, it was the most precious sight ever.

“How’s the little squirt doing?” Your dad asked you, standing behind you to look over your shoulder at her.

“Actually behaving quite well, surprisingly.” You answered.

However, you spoke too soon.

As soon as Harry started the set, with the music blasting so loudly, Erin started crying. Even with heavy-duty soundproof headphones over her tiny ears, she could obviously still hear the noise and was very frustrated over it. She kept trying to pull the headphones off, to which you kept scolding her for. It was as if she could understand that you were getting frustrated with her, because she started wiggling a lot more and misbehaving unlike normal.

She was distributing the peace around everyone up in the booth and you felt really terrible, so you apologised to people as you made your way out of the booth and backstage. You found a quiet room and sat in there, trying to calm her down. She was still really wriggly and was just crying and crying, oblivious to her mum trying to calm her down and reassure her she was alright.

“Ssh ssh. Y’re okay y’little devil.” You chuckled as she started to calm down to the sound of you voice, instead of you just patting her back and shushing her. It was as if the sound of your voice was soothing and was another superpower you possessed. Supermom, you were.

Just as you got her to calm down a bit more, tears still built in her eyes and a soft pout to her face, the door to the room burst open and the last person you expected to see what your husband rush through them.

“Honey?” You asked, confused because you thought he was supposed to be on stage.

“What’s wrong? Is she okay? Are you okay?” Harry rushed, coming over to the sofa you were sat on and sitting very, very, close next to you.

He was slightly sweating and out of breathe, but you didn’t care. You liked having his presence so close and warm. He tucked one arm around your waist to keep you close to him and the other went straight to his daughters tiny fists. She caught one of his fingers with her fist and brought it to her mouth, trying to pretend to eat it. Harry always did this with her whenever she was upset, because for some magical reason it always calmed her down.

“She just got fussy when the music started and was constantly trying to take off her headphones.” You explained, neither of you looking at each other and instead just looking at the beautiful human that you’d both created.

“Oi, y’misbehaving for y’mum, trouble? Hey?” Harry rhetorically asked, watching as Erin continued to eat Harry’s finger contently. “Bloody devil y’are sometimes.”

You laughed and tilted your head to the side to rest upon Harry’s shoulder, since he was that close. You didn’t care that he was probably mid-show or mid-song, because you loved having him so close to you. You loved you family and you would never want to change any of this for anything. Harry’s head rested on top of yours shortly after and you both just spent the next few minutes admiring your daughter.

The peace was disturbed once again by a frantic Jeff entering the room, looking relieved to have found Harry.

“Look I know she’s cute an’ all, but H I really need you on stage bud.” Jeff stressed and Harry sighed, having to look away from his daughter to acknowledge his manager.

Harry looked back to you, as if silently asking whether you’d be okay. He wasn’t going to leave if you needed help or if you thought this was going to be too much for you to handle.

“I’ll get her down for a sleep and then m’dad can take her for a walk so I can come watch y’perform.” You explained to him, not wanting to ruin Harry’s evening, or yours, or even Erin’s. She was due to go to bed soon anyways, that’s probably partially the reason she was cranky too.

“Y’sure?”

“Yes. I want to come see you and my dad honestly will be glad to be anywhere but in a crowded room.” Your dad hated crowds and so was always looking for an excuse out of events like tonight, not meaning it in a malicious way at all.

“Alright. I love you so much.” He leant in to kiss your lips after you’d returned your expression of his much you loved him too. His lips were soft and slightly salty from the sweat, but you kissed him with so much passion nonetheless. Finally he pulled away, after turning your lips slightly swollen, and turned to his daughter. “And I love you very much too, m’beauty.”

And it was moments like that where you were struck with realisation that this was your perfect life and they were your perfect little family.

[6okuto]

nia i had another big brain idea m4 + popstar mc??? aahahahha this isnt self indulgent what do u mean

— M4 with popstar!mc

so real so true ....so whipped...so lovely.,,..,.

rime

imagine this: rime teasingly asks to hear them sing something, whatever song is their favourite to perform. he deserves a small show, doesn't he? and he isn't sure what he was expecting to happen exactly, but mc starts to sing.

his eyes widen and depending on the song they sing 1) his gaze softens and he just,, watches in awe of mc in their element. or 2) he has his chin resting in his palm and a smirk/grin on his face

thinking about nicknames with this... star or songbird :(( i'm gonna hit myself on the head with a wooden plank

he listens to the lyrics a lot closer than they might expect so i hope they didn't pick a very spicy or sad song . or do! really up to them isn't it

mc catches him softly singing their song while he thinks they're asleep. if they bring it up he denies it

modern au//

i'm not saying rime would have an account just to fight people and watch their fandom from the inside. i'm not saying that. i'm saying if someone did that i would read it

messes with their fans by posting and saying their new song/album sounds great but the video is muted

rime Cannot be taken to karaoke in peace because he'll turn on one of mc's songs and push them up there with no hesitation. "nia what if rime's a good singer and sings with them and he teases by making direct eye contact with them and" don't talk to me literally stop talking why do you want me to cry /j /lh

sage

he asks to hear a bit of one song. but then they finish singing. mc must now perform their entire discography. he is so in love with them seriously he could listen to them all day

absolutely wants to know what kinds of benefits come with being famous. do fans send things? do you get things for free? where do you get to go? what are your craziest stories,

if mc is feeling really upset or stressed he tries to sing one of their own songs to them to make them smile. he isn't the best singer and he forgets some lines and has to improvise but it's very endearing . very successful!

it's a game for sage to try his hand at coming up with lyrics and mc has to make them coherent and good. he's shocked every time but they Do have a lot of inside jokes and little snippets now

modern au //

jokingly volunteers to model their merch but if they say yes then he Will Do It. he asks to take a hoodie home

calls himself their muse when they're trying to think of song lyrics. "paint me like one of your french girls" energy. it's a long-standing joke that has truth behind it because mc has definitely thought about him while writing so everyone wins

interacts with their fandom and no one can stop him. did he just post 3 fan edits on his story? maybe. who's to say he wasn't hacked

felix

literally awestruck when he hears them sing for the first time. he didn't think he could fall in love with them or their voice any more than he already did but he was Terribly Wrong

Sing him to sleep Sing him to sleep Sing Him To Sleep Sing Hi

^ it's with his favourite song from them. he's a little shy of asking but he wants it so bad all the time

so upset over the fact that he doesn't have like,, spotify. devastated over the idea that he's missing so much of the experience without instruments. he wants to feel the transition from the bridge to the chorus In His Bones.

oh felix my little fanfic writer. he gets the lyrics to one of their songs and writes a story or poem in response...he doesn't think it's very good but it means a lot to him because it ends up being what he wants to say to mc themself . legs wobble . sobs

modern au //

this goes for All of them But. that video of ross lynch on stage but always looking back/singing to jaz (his girlfriend if you didn't know). lburhglshdrgrndngsbgdjgblfbg < that's me And felix when they make direct eye contact and sing to him

they're one of, if not, his top spotify artists of all time. especially if they're spending a lot of time apart and he wants to listen to their voice. a little embarrassed whenever spotify wrapped comes around, but mc looks so happy about it he immediately doesn't care!

he's there next to them whenever an album is about to drop. the minute it drops they celebrate and he kisses them before saying "congratulations, i'm proud of you." i'm gonna be sick

anisa

she asks if they could sing something for her while they're alone. currently imagining mc singing one of their more romantic songs to anisa and she's just :0 :)) <3 and now she asks if they can sing something when she's particularly stressed or tired

asks what kind of cool things they get to do when they go on tour (stares at anisa wanting to try dolphin). Loves the idea of travelling the world with them and trying new things

mc definitely catches her humming one of their songs later while working and thinks their heart might explode

if they ever feel like getting into song writing during their spare time, anisa is there trying to help come up with ideas or making sure they don't overwork. she won't complain if they want to perform it for her. she's over the moon actually

modern au //

anisa has definitely gotten caught going on a date with mc by fans. there's photos of them at a restaurant about to choke from laughing and trying to keep it together

one time a fan half-jokingly asked anisa for Her autograph instead of mc's. she was flustered but still signed it and sent a grin their way. she couldn't stop smiling about it for the rest of the day

she's there a lot when mc is opening fan mail . she finds it interesting and loves seeing what they think of (and also what sometimes unhinged items get passed to them)

[caravelmp3]

UNDER THE CANYON MOON

pairing: josh kiszka x female!reader warning(s): mostly fluff, just brief mentions of alcohol and sex  word(s): 2k note: hi hi hi !! this is just a little something i wrote up the last couple of days with the inspiration of light my love, canyon moon by harry styles, and the interview where josh talked about road-tripping the u.s. last summer <3 i don’t write one shots often but let me know what you all think bc i might shuffle some more out soon lol. hope you all enjoy !! :) 

The Los Angeles sun was hot, beating down onto the city basking in its late-summer hues. You parked your car on the street in Silver Lake and carried a bag of food and drink tray to the door of a recording studio, more than prepared to be swarmed by hungry boys who had been cooped up in the studio since five a.m. on the dot that morning. They had a breakthrough the night before with a new song, and after getting home and going to bed for a few hours, the creative juices started flowing again and they were back in the booth. 

A windchime on the door sang as you pulled the door open and walked inside, greeting their manager who was at a table by the door. 

“The boys here?” 

“Down the hall,” he nodded, pointing a finger in the direction of the hallway. “They’re more rowdy than usual so be prepared,” 

You laughed and turned down the hall, walking towards the studio. The walls were decorated with memorabilia of rock and roll greats and record plaques, and among them, you spotted a picture of the four boys with their Grammy award. It seemed like time had passed so quickly. They won the award for the first album and they were already working on their third, shooting them further into stardom. 

“Coffee’s here!” You shouted in a really bad New England accent when you noticed the recording light was flipped off above the door. 

You stepped into the room to a chorus of cheers and “thank god you're here”’s that made you laugh while sitting the food and drinks down on the table and they all rushed over. You handed out the specific orders and pointed to which drinks was theirs when they got handsy and tried to grab everything from her out of both excitement and some desperation for caffeine. 

“Our savior,” Jake said, reaching out and grabbing your shoulders to give them a gentle shake before taking the coffee you were holding out to him, and then you handed Danny’s to him, too. 

“Just the coffee girl here,” 

“Well, you’re a little bit more than that,” Josh said, walking over to the table to grab his full cup. 

You pressed a hand against the table, leaning over to him. “Just a little?” 

“A little bit,” he shot you a wink before swiftly pressing a kiss to your cheek. 

You were more than just a “little more” than the coffee girl, you were typically their designated drunk driver, the one who took all of their candid photos, the mediator in times of need, and well, the girlfriend of the lead singer, too. 

Everyone in the studio took their food and drinks and scattered among the seating area in a break from recording. Instead of one tiny room with all of them cramped together, they had a wide open space with booths for the different instruments and bean bag chairs and big comfy, velvet sofas, and there was dim lighting with deep toned rugs that gave off the vibe of a more relaxed feel rather than the fluorescent-light, tiled-floor feeling that made them feel rushed and confined by rules they didn’t set themselves. 

You liked the studio, too, and often took naps on the sofa while listening to them play instruments individually in the recording booths and while they were writing. One night they had found you at two a.m., bundled up with a blanket on the bean bag chair after they spent the night writing in the front room on the piano, but it wasn’t the first time as you often napped in their Nashville recording offices, too. 

“You guys been busy today?” You asked jokingly while lowering onto the sofa armrest, receiving nothing but glares shot in your direction. “Okay, okay, touchy subject,” 

With a mouthful of bread, Sam pointed to Josh, “Josh finished a song, didn’t you?” He was grinning. 

You hummed in joy and surprise, grabbing Josh’s knee as he sat next to you. “Really?” 

It had been a rough few days for all of them as they tried to shuffle out a few more additions to the new album. It felt incomplete with something missing, but they couldn’t quite put their finger on what it was exactly, so they attempted to bring back and revamp old songs, write and record new ones, but nothing seemed to stick, until now. 

“Yeah, wanted to wait and show you later, but someone can’t keep his trap shut.” Josh said, pretending to be serious before cracking a smile and taking a sip of his coffee. “Just wanted it to be a surprise,” 

“Well it can still be a surprise, I’m surprised now,” you said. “Can I hear it? Or read what you got?” 

Josh nodded and stood, grabbing your hand and pulling you with him. There was a little recording room fit with a piano inside, his writing journal placed on the music stand where he had scribbled notes and keys and melodies in pen. He picked it up and handed it to you. 

“Nothing seemed to click until last night, when I started putting it together.” He said. 

“Is that why you wouldn’t tell me what it was when you all got back to the house?” 

Josh shrugged, pinching his bottom lip between his thumb and forefinger. “Yeah, yeah, I wanted it to be special when you first heard it.”

You sat the coffee cup down onto the floor while lowering into the small chair in the corner, holding the journal like it was the most delicate piece of art in the world. In silence, while Josh watched on anxiously, you read the words he had splayed across the blank page. 

     Can you light my love?      Flames glowing bright as the sun      Deeper than oceans you run      Watch as our world has begun 

     Your mind is a stream of colors      Extending beyond our sky      A land of infinite wonders      A billion lightyears from here now

You felt your throat tighten, tears tempted your eyes. 

It was a love song. 

“Josh-” 

“Oh god you hate it don’t you, you dread it, despise it,” 

“Oh shut up, I’m in tears right now, you know I love it.” You looked up at him with a smile and a sniffle. 

His words across the page were sloppy, some cursive, written in different pens of different colors, some lines crossed and scribbled out, others underlined. 

“Your mind is something I will never fully understand.” You told him as he sat down on the chair next to you. “How the fuck did you come up with this-” 

“I was thinking about our trip out here, the week we spent driving out and all of the stuff we did… and how I think I fell more in love with you.” His voice softened. 

You reached out, placing your arm on his shoulder, fingers playing with his curls. “I can’t put it into words how much I love it, how much I love you,” you said, “and you make me sound so lovely when in reality I know I was a pain in the ass that entire trip.” 

“Yeah, but my pain in the ass,” he kissed the inside of your arm. 

Two weeks before the boys left Nashville to head to Los Angeles, Josh called you at midnight with an idea in mind – the two of you renting a camper to drive out to L.A., falling into all of the tourist traps along the way and stopping in random small towns to sleep while exploring the in between, which would definitely beat the boring four-hour flight. And you, half asleep and across the country, agreed. 

It would be fun. Right? 

And it was. Every time someone asked how it went, you called it “the most magical week of my life.” 

While the others waited behind for their flights the next week, you and Josh set off from Nashville, heading west with only the destination in mind and a trusty map in hand. Everything else just came to you both. 

The first stop was three hours in the trip, in Memphis. You and Josh roamed Graceland on Elvis Presley Boulevard and had lunch near Sun Studio before taking in the mementos and relics at the Blues Hall of Fame where Josh talked your ear off, rattling off more details about each band and singer than was on the info-cards on the wall. 

Then it was two hours to Little Rock, falling asleep in the back of the camper after a take-out dinner outside of a random supermarket. Sitting in lawn chairs in the middle of a parking lot, you held Josh’s hand under a blanket and watched the pink sunrise over the hills, and then it was back on the road again. 

From Oklahoma City to Amarillo, you fiddled with the map when Josh got lost after a wrong turn in a small town where he insisted on seeing the giant 66-foot LED soda bottle sculpture, and in the middle of northern Texas, he made it up to you by cooking your favorite dinner. You thanked him in a quiet whisper as you crawled into the bed with him that night, sliding under the covers where he greeted you with warm hands and kisses against your neck that made you squeal with the tickle of his mustache and he grinned against your lips. 

Josh got to choose the music all the way through New Mexico – Neil Young and Crazy Horse to John Denver’s Thank God I’m A Country Boy, and you were only able to squeeze in Joan Baez every hour when you stopped to stretch your legs on the side of the road, belting the words to him while he laughed at your voice cracks. 

And after you both pitched the tent in the Petrified Forest in Arizona, Josh hummed the tune to some new song while you two sat under the midnight stars in the canyon with a roaring fire, his arm around you, his sweatshirt draped over your shoulders. When he tried to start telling you a scary story after you heard a weird noise outside the tent, you blindly hit him in the dark and accidentally hit his nose, causing you both to burst into laughter after the initial panic left. He laughed loudly into your shoulder as you held his face in shock, catching the scent of your lavender lotion, and his body relaxed when the laughter died down, feeling so at peace in his life with you there. 

It was the tail end of the trip, but the excitement hadn’t died down yet. After showers in the camper in the middle-of-nowhere-Arizona and five hours west, you and Josh found a bar outside of Las Vegas that resembled Coyote Ugly, so you both had a round of tequila sodas and margaritas before walking around the small town that evening and sleeping off the tipsy-headaches in the air conditioning. On top of the covers, you looked at Josh napping in the sunshine, cheeks flushed red, curls poofy from the wind, and you felt your heart grow in your chest before falling asleep next to him. 

And then came Los Angeles, the final stop, the dreaded one. But you and Josh didn’t tell anyone that either of you were sad to be back with them in L.A. when they asked, and instead, you two smiled and hugged everyone after piling out of the camper in the drive-way of the Silver Lake house. 

Cleaning out the camper, tossing cheesy novelty t-shirts at each other and laughing at how many socks you two managed to lose along the way and how many bug bites were added, watching the developed clips Josh had filmed of scenes in the desert and you asleep in the passenger seat, you both were nostalgic about a trip that just ended. 

It was so easy, so freeing to just be together on the road, with only the destination in mind. It revealed a part of them that the other didn’t see often, like your tendencies to get your lefts and rights mixed up while giving directions, and Josh’s equally awful sense of direction didn’t exactly pair with the fact that he was a maniac while driving in the first place. 

But those parts were just added to the long list of why you and him loved each other in the first place. So you became the designated driver after Amarillo and Josh stuck to telling you “left or right” for the rest of the time. It was a compromise, another reason why you two worked so well together. 

It was a form of love in itself. 

“We’ll have to drive all the way back to Nashville then, so you can write more songs about me.” You teased. 

Josh rolled his eyes but cracked into a grin a second later. “Let’s not get too carried away,” but he would be lying if he said he wasn’t always mentally reliving the night under the canyon moon.

[troubatrain]

high for this - n. patrick

a/n: self indulgent marijuana fueled nolan smut?? from me?? never!! i started this the last time it snowed but i finally got a chance to actually finish it so i hope  you guys like it! tagging @tkafuckit​ & @hookingminor​ because truly nothing gets done around here without them lbr

warnings: smut, marijuana

This had to be the worst blizzard to have hit Philadelphia in decades. At least that’s what the weatherman said while his toupee was dangerously close to falling off, an internal bet Nolan had with himself about how long it would be until it flew away in the wind and snow that was shutting down the city. Not only was he snowed in, he was snowed in with Joel and his girlfriend April who’d been pretending like Nolan wasn’t on the other side of the couch for the last hour. Nolan huffs, getting up from his spot on the couch in search of you.

Nolan didn’t like to admit it, but he had a soft spot for you he couldn’t quite explain. Maybe it was because you were just as much a weird third wheel to Joel’s relationship as he was. Or it could have been the way he started using hanging out with Joel and April as an excuse to do exactly what he’s doing right now. He walked down the hallway, two doors from the bathroom was your bedroom. He could hear the soft sounds of whatever record you were spinning on the other side, and he took a deep breath before he poked his head and smiled. You were nestled in your bed under a mountain of blankets and a movie on your laptop, “We’re stuck here I think.”

You laugh, an angelic sound bouncing off the walls of your room while Nolan hoped you wouldn’t catch his blush from across the room. You opened your blanket pile, tapping on the other side of your bed for Nolan to come join you. It wasn’t like it was out of the ordinary that Nolan would escape Joel and April to hide out with you, but he was doing it way more often than he used to, “Joel and April are making out aren’t they?”

“April’s five minutes from losing her shirt,” Nolan points his finger up, the sound of April’s giggle from the living room, “I don’t need to see that.”

You’d been in this position plenty of times, Nolan curled up in your bed while Parks and Rec played quietly in the background. Nolan would start off on one side of your bed, and before you knew it you were cuddled into his side while neither of you spoke a word. It was a comfortable silence, never asking for anything more or anything less, “You know, we’re snowed in and there’s nothing else to do…”

“Do you want me to roll a joint?” Nolan chuckles, pushing a piece of his hair from his face.

“You’re just so much better than me at it,” You admit, which wasn’t a total lie. Nolan was the best joint roller you’d ever come across, but Nolan was also the hottest joint roller you knew. It was such a weird thing to be attracted to, the way the paper would roll between his fingers and all you seemed to be able to focus on was how big his hands were, “Please?”

Nolan wasn’t going to say no, mostly because if you were both high he didn’t need an excuse to hold you because you always seemed to snuggle right up to him after. Besides, Nolan definitely wasn’t going to say no when you were pouting with the best puppy dog eyes you could muster up, “You’re lucky you’re cute.”

“You’re lucky I didn’t leave you to watch Joel and April fuck,” You tease, pushing Nolan in the chest lightly. You heard him call you cute, but you couldn’t read into it. Nolan was single and in the time since you’d met it was clear he wasn’t fucking around with anyone else. Joel told you it was because Nolan was a little introverted and if he liked he wasn’t going to announce to the world. You didn’t think much of it until you met Kevin who was over the moon to meet the girl Nolan was always talking about. All of your friends seemed to think whatever you had with Nolan was on the fast track to being together, but Nolan never seemed to mention it to you. You open your end table, leaning across Nolan and grabbing your grinder and some bud, dropping it in his hands.

Nolan gets to work, long slim fingers dropping the weed onto the paper gently while you hopped off the bed and pulled out a record. Nolan looks up at you for a minute, a Temple hoodie hanging off your frame covering the shorts you had underneath it. His eyes wandered down your legs, god he wanted you, but he couldn’t even begin to figure out how to tell you. He should let you know that you were pretty much his dream girl, standing across the room flipping a Hozier album in your hands while you picked what you should listen to. It’s about the vibes Nolan, you remarked that to him the first time you ever smoked together, and now Nolan had a playlist just for songs he knew you loved most.

“You’re indecisive,” Nolan hums, watching you put the same record back on it’s shelf and licking the edge of the paper, “Just pick one, anything you pick will be cooler than I would have chosen anyways.”

You turn around sticking your tongue out at him and grabbing a Mt. Joy vinyl to put on, “Did you get that for me?”

“I got it for me,” You defend, holding in the truth that Nolan’s music taste seemed to be weaving itself with your own, “But I knew you liked them, and you never seem to leave me alone.”

“Don’t think you want me too,” Nolan mumbles, grabbing a lighter from your nightstand, sparking up the end of the joint and handing it over to you.

“Wow I get the first hit, what a gentleman,” You joke, sitting cross legged on your bed and watching the smoke fill your room. Nolan loved watching you smoke, the way it would just fall from lips and your voice would get a little raspier. He loved the way your eyes seemed to get hazier and your smile just a bit wider than it usually was, “Excellent work Patty.”

“Glad I could be of service,” Nolan chuckles, your head falling into his lap without a second thought. You both laid like that the entire time you were smoking, sharing the joint while Nolan’s fingers weaving through your hair absentmindedly, “I saw it by the way.”

“Saw what?” You ask, furrowing your eyebrows in confusion at whatever he was on about.

“Your little helper,” Nolan muses, a tight lipped smile on his face because he could literally see your hazy mind trying to figure out what he was talking about. Nolan didn’t know why he needed to say anything about the very teeny vibrator in your bedside table next to your grinder, “Use it often?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” You brush him off, it was Nolan and Nolan teased you all the time.

“You know I do,” Nolan hums, his gaze on you while you were practically squirming in his lap, “The same way that you know I like you but you never do anything about it.”

“Shouldn’t you be making the first move?” You poke open one eye to look up at Nolan. His hands moved quickly, grabbing your thighs and pulling you up to straddle his waist.

“Thought we were more progressive than that babe,” Nolan huffs, his voice deeper than it usually was. His hands were running up your legs, rough calloused fingers against your skin.

“I want to hear you say it,” You challenge, boldly running a hand through Nolan’s hair. Nolan’s heart was stammering in his chest, but when a silly smile danced across your lips he couldn’t help but laugh, “Let’s hear it Patty.”

“I want you, here, now, and every time after this,” Nolan says, his voice sure, steady and clear. His lips ghosed over yours for a moment, “C’mere.”

Nolan wasn’t a man of many words, but he was going to show just how he felt. His hands cascaded down your body, stopping on your ass and giving it a tap while his lips pressed against yours. It was electric, and you wondered why you bothered to kiss anyone besides Nolan, “Nols-”

“Yeah?” Nolan pulls away, cheeks rosy and his breath ripped out his body from just one kiss. You bit your lip, looking at him in the eyes before you spoke again.

“Fuck me,” You whimper, grinding your hips against Nolan’s, pulling a groan from his lips. Nolan’s hand gripped your chin, crashing his lips against yours. His other hand snuck under your shirt, the rough calloused fingers that only lived in your fantasies rubbing against your soft skin. He flipped you over, holding himself up by his elbows while he pressed kisses down your neck.

“I’ve thought about this so many fucking times,” Nolan mumbles, his lips pressed against your skin. You could feel his teeth graze behind your ear, pulling a moan out of you.

“Maybe you should’ve done something about it sooner,” You smirk, grabbing his cheeks and pulling him back in for a kiss, “Could’ve saved me a few lonely nights.”

“Consider those over,” Nolan promises, giving you a sweet kiss before his hands grabbed the bottom of your hoodie to pull it off. Nolan’s lips move down your body, love bites and kisses pressed against your skin while he makes his way down to where you need him most. His fingers slipped under your sweats, looking up at you for the go ahead he needed, you nod eating up the feeling of Nolan’s hands on your bare skin, “So pretty baby.”

Nolan’s finger traced lightly over your thighs, his breath hot against your pussy while you ached for more, “Don’t tease me or I’ll get my little friend out to do the job for me.”

Nolan chuckles at your whine, a finger sliding up your folds, “That’s for another time babe.”

Nolan’s words had your eyes rolling to the back of your head, oh it’s definitely big. His tongue swirled your clit gently, trying to figure out exactly what was going to get you off. You let out a moan, one that definitely carried through the hallway loud enough for Joel and April to hear from the living room. Nolan smirks to himself, wrapping his lips around your clit and sliding one of his ridiculously long fingers inside you. Your hand gripped his hair, tugging on it gently while you bit your lip to stop yourself from being too loud, “Fuck Nolan, faster.”

Nolan nods, a second finger sliding inside of you and curling against your g spot. You grinded down on Nolan’s face, his free hand gripping your thigh to keep you in place. You were a moaning mess above him, not caring one bit about anyone hearing you because Nolan’s mouth was magic. It really is always the quiet ones. You were close, Nolan’s fingers sliding out of just when he started to feel your pussy clench around him. You whine, grabbing the back of Nolan’s head to keep his mouth against your pussy but it was no use when Nolan was that big, “Sorry did you want to cum?”

Nolan’s finger was teasing your entrance, watching the way your pussy was clenching in anticipation, you let out a breathy laugh, “Please make cum Nols, I need it.”

All it took after that was Nolan’s tongue around your clit and his fingers curled back inside you for you to cum. Nolan’s name fell from your lips, a sound that Nolan had dreamed of but never thought he’d actually get to hear. Nolan’s eyes looked over at your night stand, grabbing the extra joint he rolled and placing it between his lips. He tossed off his shirt, grabbing a lighter and sparking the end before he blew smoke in your mouth and pressed his lips against yours. You moan at sensation, gripping Nolan’s shoulder to pull him closer. You had him now, and you’d be damned if you were going to let him go. 

Nolan kicks off his sweats, taking a few puffs from the joint and groaning when you palmed him through his boxers. He grabs your hand, dropping the joint into yours and pulling off his boxers to let his cock spring free. Your suspicions were correct- it was big, you let out a giggle, Nolan’s eyebrows furrowing at you, “What?”

“I had this bet with myself about how big your dick was,” You admit, taking your own pull from the joint and watching the smoke fill the room, “Not disappointed.”

Nolan laughs, pressing a kiss to your lips and lining his cock up to you. He looks at you, “You’re my fucking dream girl.”

Nolan didn’t spare you a second to react to his words before he slid inside you. He groaned at the feeling, his head pressed against your neck. Nolan’s hips snapped against you, your nails scratching down his back while he railed you into oblivion. You were seeing stars, moans and whimpers falling from your lips and not a single thought in your mind except the fact that Nolan was making you feel so damn good, “Cum for me again, c’mon.”

Nolan’s deep voice was rumbling against your neck, his dick twitched inside of you in need of a release. You clenched around him, your legs shaking from pleasure. Nolan pulled out of you, spilling onto your stomach with a loud fuck. Nolan collapsed on top of you, the both of you trying to catch your breath. He rolls over, pulling you close his chest, “I meant what I said, I wasn’t just trying to get laid.”

“I know,” You hum, snuggling closer to his chest, “Think April and Joel heard us?”

The last thing you heard before you finally let the exhaustion take over your body was a we did in unison from April and Joel down the hall.