#and listen i know the hair varies in bu too but it really felt like they were testing me this time

[saturnskyline]

just finished uwma ep 11 and i'm starting to think that og winteamers were stronger than the us marines.... like how did y'all live like this

[divinefireangel]

I'll Take Care Of You.

SF9 Taeyang x GN! Reader Fluff.

Disclaimer: This is just a work of fiction. If this piece of fan fiction is offensive to any celebrity, fandom or culture please let me know so I can take it down. Also note that this is my version of a character or celeb, which will vary from person to person.

Author's Note: I hope this helps you Rosie. I'm sorry that you've been going through such a hard time. But I promise you it gets better. Also sadly I may have included things I do when I have bad anxiety 🥺

Copyright: Please note that this is my work and if you want to publish this on any other platform, take my permission before doing so. Taking an author's work and posting it somewhere else without any intimation is just disrespectful. I readily welcome suggestions and criticisms. That being said, Happy reading! 🤍

Warnings: 15+ ages and all readers (nothing specified with respect to gender, appearance, etc of reader). They/them pronouns used. Anxiety, mention of not eating properly, just overall lack of selfcare. Angsty fluff ig? Lmk if I need to add more. Not proof read, pls ignore any mistakes.

Requested: Yes. By our loveliest @fantasywritings 🥺💛

Can I request a taeyang comfort scenario? I’ve been having a real tough week, my anxiety has been quite bad huhu

1.2k Words

Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.

" Really Y/N this isn't that difficult. You should know this. It's fine. Just do better next time. "

Do better. Next time. How many next times. Closing their eyes, Y/N took in a shaky breath, absorbing the words that were said to them. Blinking the tears away, Y/N slowly began to pack their stuff to go home. To say that this was probably one of the worst weeks of their life, would be right. Work hadn't been going really well. Neither was their mental health.

Every single minor thing that happened only seemed to make their anxious state worse. They weren't able to eat or sleep properly, barely having energy most days to get up in the morning. And to do work in such a state of mind is so tiring. Feeling overwhelmed, not up to the mark, doing things they're supposed to be good at really badly, didn't help either.

Getting on the bus, Y/N started to make their way home. After days of waiting, finally, hopefully, Y/N can find peace in their boyfriend's embrace. He was busy with Kingdom, Y/N knows it's important so they didn't disturb Taeyang with their problems. But how long can they hide their problems from the one they love.

Even when he was stressed, Taeyang always provided comfort and hope to others. That happens when you are in touch with your emotions I guess. He's always been their rock. Keeping them grounded, in touch with reality, not letting them slip away into the prison in their mind. The physical distance that just happened due to packed schedules and improper planning made the lovers miss each other even when they lived in the same home.

It's around 8:10pm. He won't be home yet. Sniffing Y/N enters their shared home. Taeyang froze. Sniffing? Crying? His baby? His light? Turning the stove off, he slowly walked out to the front door, where Y/N was crouched down on the ground, crying from feeling so many emotions at once. Looking at his curled lover on the floor, Taeyang's heart ached. Were they really going through so much pain alone? Why didn't they tell him what was going on?

Kneeling down, Tae gently touched their hair, patting it softly, kissing their hair once. Lifting their head, Y/N looked at Tae, with tear filled glossy eyes. He was here. He's here. Staring at him, Y/N couldn't help but let all their defences down, letting all their tears fall, allowing themselves to be so vulnerable to him. Tae hugged Y/N's shaky figure, trying his best not to cry too. Petting their head, Taeyang slowly helped them get on their feet, romoving their coat and bag.

Fully embracing their body in his arms, Taeyang nuzzled his face into them, silently telling them, " It's okay. I got you. I'm here now. You can let all your emotions out to me. On me. I'll take care of you. "

Hugging him tighter, Y/N cried and cried till there were no tears in their eyes, body visibly shaking from the pain they had felt and endured alone for the past week. Softly playing his chin on their head, Tae started to hum a faint tune. An action that always calmed Y/N. Rubbing her shoulders, Taeyang pulls away, just enough to look Y/N in the eyes, puffy, red, pain filled eyes. Placing a delicate kiss on their head, Taeyang cradled his lover's face in his palms.

" What happened? Do you want to talk about it? " Shaking their head no, Y/N looked down, feeling tears approaching the brim of their eyes again. Moving their face to his chest, Tae pecked their head again.

" Did you eat something today? Did you drink water? " Y/N hesitated to answer. The truth is, they didn't really know of what they ate would be classified as a meal. But Taeyang knew. He wasn't disappointed. He understood. He always does. Lifting their head from his chest, he kissed the tip of their nose and brought them to the kitchen.

Making them sit on the counter, Taeyang went to the fridge to get a water bottle and some cut apple slices. Opening the bottle, he made them drink water, like a parent does to their child. " Do you want to eat? " He questions, not wanting to make things worse by forcing them to eat right now.

" Not really. " They replied with a small voice. Nodding his head, Taeyang hugs Y/N again.

" I know I haven't been around much this week. Especially for you. And I know that you understand. But next time, please tell me when it gets too much. I love you. I can always make time for you in my schedule. You are the most important thing to me. You never have to go through this alone. Not when I'm here. I love you too much to see you in pain baby. "

Gripping his shirt, Y/N breathes into his neck, calming down listening to his soft voice and reassuring words.

" You are so brave. I'm proud of you. I don't know how you manage to endure so much for so long. But please. You don't ever have to go through this alone again. Tell me what's going on. Talk to me. About everything. I am here for you at any time or any and every day. "

Moving their head up and down they pull away looking at their beautiful boyfriend. His pretty face, perfect nose, soft parted lips, his freshly washed hair, his love filled concerned eyes. He's here. He will always be here. He is your rock. He grounds you. Noticing their breathing has come back to normal, Taeyang lifts them off the kitchen counter. Grabbing their hand, he leads them to their bedroom, making them sit on the bed as he goes to the closet to find them comfortable clothes to wear.

Getting them a pair of shorts and one of his shirts, he helps them out of their outside clothing and into the ones he picked out. Taking them slowly to the washroom, he undoes their hair and wipes their face with a wet towel. All while smiling at them. Once he's done, he pinches the Apple of their cheeks lovingly before taking them to bed, tucking them in.

" Sleep for some time. I'll finish making dinner and wake you up. Okay? " He says, not expecting an answer. Leaning down towards their face, Tae places small kisses all over. Kissing their forehead, eyebrows, fluttering eyelids, the sides of their face, their nose, cheeks and finally a sweet kiss on their lips. Stroking their temple with his thumb he stay in that position for a while, till his lover is asleep.

Life can get hard sometimes. Hard enough to not be able to wake up or do the minimal necessary things. But that's okay. It doesn't make you any less worthy of anything. But pain is temporary. Fear is temporary. And feeling overwhelmed is normal. It's human. You are human. But you also have the strength to get through difficult times. You've done it before, you can do it again, no matter how hard it gets. That's what it is to be human right?

[steve0discusses]

S5 Ep 3: Apdnarg is Really Hard to Spell

 Yo guys, people are getting vaccinated, the sun is parting through the clouds, and I felt so nice that I even stopped listening to quite so many throwback 00′s BTS mashups (and yet I keep clicking on these dissonant catastrophes thinking “this time it’s got to be better. This time they’ll figure it out.” and like, no. Turns out you can’t match Brittany’s Toxic with BTS’ Black Swan. You can’t do that.)

This must be a sign that things are getting better. If anything, it means my personal tastes are improving. I mean I only clicked on like 3 “Dark Academia” Playlists where I could pretend I’m some sort of spooky witch in an abandoned library with a bad music player and basic taste in classical music (like can we ban Satie from Youtube for a little while?). Hell, I might even do a prompt update to this blog!

Yeah, you heard me, I’m actually going to stay ahead of the update schedule for Yugioh Abridged (maybe. I haven’t actually watched cuz of spoilers, I just noticed the thumbnail pop up on Youtube and was like “Damn it, they came out of hiatus??? I got hurry UP.”)

Anyway, speaking of the sky parting.

I’ll have you know my bro said this is actually more like a circumcision and it was one of the worst thing I have ever heard.

We get a chance to take in this lineup of confusing and varied character designs, and Joey. who is...still Joey.

The animators probably had to hold a strike in order for them to put Yugi in the audience, lets be real. There are TOO MANY PEOPLE in this shot and one is wearing a turban where you draw every single wrap. I hope those artists charged by the line.

Tea has a subplot where she’s just very frustrated with everyone she knows. They have been traveling together for like many weeks and got trapped in a foreign country so I get it. But at the same time, it’s kind of hard to picture Tea with female friends.

Because right now you got this 12 year old child, the other duelist who does not care about anything besides cards, and Kaiba’s 3 dragon cards that we’ve all collectively decided are female.

Hell it’s almost like the writers are asking themselves why Tea is here. Maybe they forgot. There’s no more ghosts to bus, no more people to knock out with her ass with random Olympic feats. Tea’s just sidelining.

(read more under the cut)

Mokuba is a itty bit bit taller this season, and so I guess that means he can legally climb on top of the cherry picker in order to give a riveting speech.

Really says a lot about Mokuba that he is so unphased about talking to, I dunno...an entire planet of people. Kind of a shame we never see this courage from Mokuba used for anything other than talking really, really big and giving everyone around him a really hard time.

Mokuba takes a moment to dunk on Yugi Muto, as is Kaiba tradition.

And then introduce the first pair of duelists, which obviously must be between the few people in this tournament that we actually know and care about.

Thankfully, in between last episode and this episode, Yugi has figured out who his own Grandpa is. This is a relief, because Yugi is such a mess, that I was fully convinced it would take over half a season for him to recognize it. I mean how long did it take him to figure out he shares a body with a ghost? Like half a season?

Instead Yugi recovered gracefully from not recognizing his grandpa, but it’s not like he bothered to tell anyone else, so the rest of our cast is just gonna be like “Is he my hairdresser? The guy who delivers my mail? Who is this guy who made absolutely no significant changes to his outfit or voice?”

Like sometimes this show goes full Spongebob silly kid’s show and you never know when to take it seriously or not. They might be sacrificing the entire cast next episode. I really don’t know. But for now their big concern is who is grandpa??? Like an innocent card version of “Are you my Mother?”

Faced with public speaking, Yugi decides to have a melt down.

We have seen him face monsters, we’ve seen him on TV dozens of times, he’s been in multiple competitions...but give a speech? Of course he can’t do that. The kid doesn’t attend enough school to know how to do that. Them’s learning skills.

And that was when a newly assembled wife-jet spliced through the sky like a souped up razer scooter and deposited 1 fully equipped Seto Kaiba in a Buzz Lightyear jetsuit.

THE RECOVERY.

Seto always watching over his Brother, ready to save this awkward party if it kills him (and it really should, that suit is held together by two seat-belts), making sure to get on that platform before Yugi starts going off about how he’s half an Ancient Egyptian. (Ah, life before social media. You could just be hella famous and also half a dead dude and people would just not know. I kinda miss the time before I knew literally everything about everyone.)

Please admire how close those flames are to setting Mokuba’s heavily hairsprayed mane completely alight. It would be an unforgettable spectacle.

These were absolutely just random ass jet packs that Gozaburo Kaiba made to kill hell tons of people, right? Like Seto found it in the family cabin, clutched to the heart of some crispy fried corpse and was like “neat! Mokuba! I found a cool toy!” and just plucked that thing out of that skeleton’s clutches and has been flying around for months?

Like this is Seto Kaiba’s Butter Glider, right?

Seriously what type of vehicle license do you need for one of these things? RIP My ‘Seto only has a scooter license’ headcanon.

Which I’m only even thinking about because I’ve had to try and make an appt with the DMV for days to get a freakin REAL ID. I went to sleep in 2019 and I could fly on a plane. I woke up in 2021 and it’s like “Want one last screw you?” and just...can 2020 please stop screwing me over? It’s March.

Anyway, the Jet is removed soon after, so no, this is not part of his new outfit. He goes right back to his Post-S4-Trauma-Normcore.

After wrestling this competition out of his brother’s hands and confusing everyone in the audience, Roland must have gotten the memo to cut the microphone before Seto got too excited and we were quickly ushered on to the next stage of the tournament.

One sec...the BTS Mashup playlist I just clicked on did a Black Swan X 7 rings mashup and it’s the worst thing my ears have ever heard.

Holy crap. I had to actually turn down my volume. Like...Ariana Grande already has music that has way too many overlapping singing parts on it--and then lets just stick a 52-person boy band on top? That’ll fix it. Yeah. Go ahead.

Wow. Even I had to change the song and you know how much I enjoy pop culture mistakes.

Spot the Mickey but like a million times easier because it’s a Massive Dick Shaped Dragon.

Yep. That’s my grocery shopping outfit. Except maybe not a lab coat and a duel disk. Wish I had a duel disk, that would make social distancing just a hell ton earlier. Just a “Yo, only one person in checkout, please” and then bap them on the head with a propelled discuss/hologram.

Anyway, Grocery shopping/Doctor man dueled the Purple Hair Boy, and considering that Purple Hair got screen time and shook Yugi’s hand once--I think that Doctor man doesn’t stand a freakin chance.

Good. I hate him.

Also, every time he breathes he’s gonna fog up his glasses. I have experience in this area. He can’t read his own cards in the same way I can’t read my phone if I’m in the refrigerated aisle.

So the way this tournament works, is everyone has to sit in the stadium to watch the show. Kinda like showing up to a football stadium just to watch a recorded TV monitor...but then again...that is how it feels to watch a football game at a football stadium when it’s live (at least with the tickets I usually get.)

And as we watch Grandpa waiting for his competitor, we find out that his competitor (Joey) is too busy eating snacks to give him the time of day.

Why do cartoon hot dogs always have lettuce? Is that seriously supposed to be relish? Or is there a place in the world where you put lettuce on your hot dog?

Sorry, bro has just informed of his favorite hot dog order, which is absolutely terrible so I will share it with you: a Five Guys hot dog with ketchup, mustard, pickle relish, onions, mushrooms, pickled peppers, and you guessed it--topped with freakin lettuce.

My own kin. How am I over 30 and just finding out that my baby brother thinks it’s normal to walk into a restaurant with normal god-fearing law-abiding people and order lettuce and mushrooms on a hot dog?

I have fully failed him.

The rest of this episode is watching both Joey Wheeler and Mokuba have a shared panic attack while Seto does freakin nothing.

Please remember that Seto has both a jetpack and a dragon wife plane and could have easily solved this problem. But nah.

Then again, Seto Kaiba has given this crew so MANY rides, that maybe he’s tired of being the Soccer Mom for the team?

Like they don’t actually say this episode, but Seto was the one in charge of like...this entire place, do you think he made the 2 for 1 special just to get Joey where it hurts the most? Or does it actually not take any subterfuge to screw Joey Wheeler because he’s just naturally this way?

Like Mokuba wasn’t there when Joey was told “stay right here, and then we will all go together to fight Dartz” and Joey was like “I’mma save Mai from herself although she told me not to!” and then he Hella Died. But, Mokuba did see the result, AKA, Joey’s dead body being carried on the back of Tristan. Maybe Mokuba never realized that Joey died because he went out of his way to be late?

Lets do a tally of every time I can recall with my dodgy memory that Joey was threatened to be DQ’d/pretty much was DQ’d either by his own fault or no fault of his own

-When he wasn’t allowed to go on the boat to Murder Island because he was a stupid nobody kid who did not have a dueling glove

-When he wasn’t actually supposed to be in Pegasus’ tourney and was, in fact, secretly using half of Yugi’s entrance ticket the entire time

-when Bandit Keith stole the ticket that Joey got from Yugi so then Joey had to borrow Mai’s ticket although she had just used it so it really shouldn't have counted. Because, really anyone could have just piggy backed off of each other’s ticket until the whole boat went through that castle.

-When his account was hacked to get entered into Kaiba’s tourney when Kaiba very clearly told him he could not apply solely because he was Joey Wheeler.

-When he was late to his sister’s eye surgery because he got mugged by Marik’s Rare Hunters, so she almost refused to do the surgery.

-When Joey got possessed by Marik, and as Marik, threatened to murder everyone else in the tournament including both of the Kaiba brother’s who’s tournament it was, and then chained himself to Yugi Muto to throw both of them to the bottom of the ocean.

-I think there was a point when he threatened to attack Kaiba in Kaiba’s own tourney while not possessed? Like several times?

-when he got struck by Lightning and almost did not stand up fast enough after being struck by lightning, which is apparently a type of DQ in Duel Monsters.

-When he tried to save Mai from getting hit by a fireball, but then Yugi did it instead, and then so many people were standing on the dueling platform that Kaiba couldn’t possibly DQ them all.

-When he entered the restricted area of the blimp in order to hassle Kaiba into landing the Blimp, which Kaiba did not do.

-When Marik killed Joey before Joey could press the “go” button on his duel disk to play the card that should have won Joey the match.

-When he was dueling a lawyer in a digital universe but then the dice was like...weighted? So Noah had to walk over and be like “The hell is this weighted dice? This is my perfect digital world? How did you even do that?” and then Joey won because the match was no longer legit.

-When Joey yelled at Noah too much and so Noah turned Joey to stone for being a rude ass spectator

-When Mai was like “Wheeler and Valon, listen closely: do NOT murder each other” and then Joey did a murder on Valon so she was like “I guess I have no choice, I was very clear” and killed Joey straight up.

-When Joey decided to block Seto’s fireballs while Joey Wheeler WAS a playing card, somehow disrespecting both Dartz and Seto Kaiba at the same time.

-When Joey was playing cards but then got absorbed into a giant Leviathan and basically couldn’t play anymore after that.

-There’s probably hell ton of S0 stuff I just haven’t seen yet.

-This episode

And Joey runs fast for a montage of wacky things that really have no business being in a theme park. Things like this:

(remember when Bakura almost died from a rock that ended up being a balloon? It comes full circle.)

The stuff that the Kaiba brother’s think is normal and fun.

Anyway Joey fights off a bunch of hologram snakes and bats and everyone is like “Should we tell him it’s just holograms???” And it’s like wow, guys, how many times have these ‘holograms’ straight up murdered Joey Wheeler and everyone else on this cast? Too many? Because I have a google doc with so many deaths on it. 7,805,844,048, to be exact.

Anyway, he gets there with five seconds to spare and Mokuba’s like “well at least you were still entertaining while we filmed you in front of a live audience being a total spaz for 15 minutes straight, so I’ll let you go.”

Grandpa and Joey start playing, Joey completely oblivious that this is just an older Muto, while Hawkins walks up awkwardly and is like “hey guys. I’m so sorry about this.”

(welcome to my font choices, for those new here, I have to make weird font color choices to make sure it’s legible for the colorblind and also for the non-colorblind. This one is not much contrast, so I may change it up in the future, but for now, this is Grandpa Muto’s new font. I apologize to every graphic designer reading this. Please don’t tell anyone who has ever hired me for graphic design about this blog.)

What’s funny about this exchange is that after they find out that Yugi’s Grandpa is Apdnarg (HOLY my brain cannot get around the spelling for that, and I will not change it in the caps. I cannot do a ‘pdn’ ever again), they don’t stand on his side of the field or anything. Hawkins is legit Solomon Muto’s only fan during this exchange and like...damn. Way not to back your Grandpa, Yugi.

Yugi immediately strides up to Mokuba to non-confrontation-ally inform him that he has stepped over a line and Mokuba is like “what are these things you say called ‘lines?’”

According to Mokuba, Solomon Muto begged him to be in the competition so he could relive his glory days (glory days making no sense here, because the game has only been released for the past 15 years, so glory days is like...the before times that can only be referring to disgraced archeologists and Pegasus ((who is, in his own way...a disgraced archeologist, too))) and Mokuba was like

“You trained Yugi Muto, right? Hey that’s good enough for me. This drama is gold. People will eat it up. Hell yes. Don’t be afraid to abduct him a little bit. Maybe trap a couple people in a digital hellscape for a little while? Now we go by Pegasus house rules here, so fire as many lasers as you want, but just make sure not to hit anyone in the face. Oh man, we are going to be swimming in cash. Love it, Muto Sr, love it.”

But I dunno, I feel like Grandpa won’t make it past next episode. It is Joey. We kinda need him to make it past Ep 4 of the arc. If Grandpa Muto becomes the new Joey Wheeler, that will be a weird transition for this show to make.

But that’s all for today, as always, here is the link to read these in chrono order becuase there’s SO MANY that you don’t need to read backwards--don’t do it--just use the chrono tag (and I don’t know if you can add compound tags, but I did separate the Season from the Episode, so if you write S4, it should only pop up stuff from S4. I didn't’ do that to seasons 1-3 though because I just...didn’t.)

https://steve0discusses.tumblr.com/tagged/yugioh/chrono

And because I brought it up: here it is, the best BTS Mashup that I found on my deep dive. Like legit--this one isn’t a mess:

Most of other ones are horrible in a fascinating way. Like I’m not even a BTS fan, I think I sort of age out of that metric, I’m just bored and quarantined. And lets be real, we all appreciate a good bop when we hear it.

[lycanthrop-ee]

Ghosting - Empty House

A/N: !!!!! It’s here! I’m so, so pumped for this- welcome to the Empty House AU! This is the first piece of content I’m publishing and it’s a one-shot from a bigger universe, but it’s also absolutely a stand-alone fic. It’s a self-indulgent, analogical-centric human AU that’s has been floating around my hollow skull for months now, so there’s a lot of doodles backed up if any of yall would like to see that ;) There will be an AU taglist, but I also have an individual writing taglist!

Synopsis: Logan has finally moved out of his childhood home into a family-sized house where he plans to finish college online. His simple plans are complicated when a strange, sad-looking boy starts showing up outside...

Word count: 4,306

Ships: Endgame romantic Analogical

CW: (spoilers) Pre-plot major character death, swearing, anxiety attack, very mildly implied previous parental abuse, be safe kiddos and ask to tag!

The first time Logan saw the boy was the day he moved in. 

The empty house had stood hollowly beside its driveway, Logan feeling small without his siblings or parents or any of his rarely acquired friends by his side. He wasn’t a sociable person, but he’d always been surrounded by noise at home, and lots of it… he’d never been in a house as still as the one he stepped into that day. The dark wooden floors were cleanly swept, except for the corners and trimmings which had little fields of grey dust dotting the deep brown. The refrigerator made a hungry humming noise, protesting its suddenly empty shelves- Logan knew a family of four had lived there before, and that they’d given him a pretty hefty discount on the house. That’s all he knew.

The floor in the entrance hall creaked underfoot, and the walls seemed to turn away as they saw him- not who they’d been expecting, not worth their attention. That was fair. 

The house had three bedrooms and two floors- altogether a strange layout. Two of the bedrooms were downstairs, situated in a small hallway off the kitchen, and one was tucked into a little corner upstairs, where the only other rooms consisted of a bathroom and a large, carpeted playroom that was mostly empty now. Logan figured it would have been a favorite of the kids when they were smaller, but now the only furniture was a faux leather couch and a television, as well as a couple of out-of-place armchairs that had never gotten much human use from the look of their fur-covered seats.

With just him taking up the whole house, he hardly saw the point in using the upstairs bedroom. The house felt big already- rationally, it would be better to localize downstairs. All he really needed was his room, the kitchen, and the little living room next to the entrance. That was enough for him- in fact, even that was too silent. He missed the screams of his brothers as affectionately as anyone could- which honestly varied day to day. 

Today, he was disproportionately affectionate. 

It paired well with the fear.

Logan was just about ready to start tearing himself apart over the family members he’d left behind- the only ones that mattered- when the boy caught his eye.

The day had been gray and dreary, the trees heavy with the prospect of rain and the air cool enough to promise it, but it had only started drizzling in the few minutes since Logan had been inside. The sky had seemed to darken remarkably quickly, especially strange without the presence of thunder or even heavy rain, and in the middle of it all was a lanky figure who looked for all the world like a member of the fae.

He stood at the side of the road, looking in the house’s general direction- in Logan’s general direction, although he was sure the other wouldn’t be able to see through his windows. His face would’ve been hidden by the dark hair poking out from under his hood were he not so painfully pale, and his brown irises were visible to Logan only because of the piercing contrast of his skin. 

His jacket was oversized, but his beanpole frame managed to show through regardless. The rainwater gradually weighed it down until the boy looked almost a skeleton, Logan frozen watching him for what could have been minutes- and then the frame heaved in a breath and ambled stiffly away. 

Obviously Logan’s first worries had to do with an unhinged white male teenager breaking into his new house- the one he had full responsibility for and few precious savings to repair. It was irrational, he knew, but his second thought was that the boy hadn’t looked capable of any harm- or really of much at all. He looked weighed down, depressed, and Logan was sure that it wasn’t just the water soaking his sweatshirt. The boy had looked sad. 

And he continued to. Frighteningly often, the teenager appeared outside Logan’s house. Each time he looked quite the same: above average height but considerably shorter than Logan himself, skinny, and almost other-worldly in his strange mish-mash of dark eyes and pearly flesh. While Logan knew that his first sight of the boy had been strange in the sudden change of weather, he could- and completely intended to- count it as a coincidence of Florida’s strange climate.  

He settled into a sort of pattern, although the boy didn’t seem to follow one. Each time he saw the figure outside his house, he would take a break from his endless work. He’d make himself some tea, sit in the window, and wait for the boy to leave. This way, he told himself, if he tried anything, Logan would be there to intercept him. He chose not to think about the possibility of it happening at night or while he was away, and he kept far away from the crime shows he’d occasionally enjoyed in the past. This way, too, he could get a good look at his visitor each time. It was almost as though he was keeping tabs on him, and at the tail end of his fear came a strange protectiveness. 

It was after about a month of this- Logan looking for job applications and living off of his savings, edgewise- that Logan pulled into his driveway at one of the key moments of his life. The boy stood unsteadily at the side of the road, sweatshirt ever-present even in the heat. Logan got out of his car carefully, his heart in his throat- though, really, did any part of him think the boy capable of much at this point? 

He’d have expected the kid to run as soon as he’d pulled in, but when Logan looked him over he saw the boy studying him, bouncing on the balls of his feet. It struck Logan anew in their close proximity how thin he was.

Almost thoughtlessly, he started across the lawn towards the boy. He had to remind himself to uphold formalities- no matter how many times they’d stared at each other across the way, they’d never once spoken. He didn’t know this kid, not really- and now it occurred to him that the boy was more than a kid. He couldn’t be much younger than himself. Logan halted a few respectful steps from the boy, who eyed him strangely.

Close up… he looked, somehow, the same as he did from across the lawn. His features were simple, small mouth and nose easy to overlook for his huge, shadowed eyes. He really did remind one of a fairytale, or even- perhaps more accurately- a Tim Burton. 

Logan opened his mouth to speak, but paused for a moment. They watched each other.

“Would you like to come in for tea?” He finally inquired, the words escaping him overly familiar. The boy raised his eyebrows almost undetectably, seeming confused, and Logan caught himself almost leaning forward in anticipation of the other’s first words to him.

“You’re not Patton,” the boy said, voice just above a murmur and hoarse. Logan hesitated, confused, and studied the expression that would’ve been bored were it not for the slight tremble in his lips and a hint of surprise- Logan supposed neither of them had planned what had escaped their mouths. He reached up with a thin arm and brushed the back of his hand gently across his eyes. A spark of something strange flickered in Logan’s chest- this man was possibly not all there. He wracked his brain for labels- depression? Mild psychosis? Dissociation?

Either way, this was not someone he should invite into his house without more information- but as that regretfully occurred to him, the first drops of afternoon rain hit the tip of his noise. He wondered if the boy would stand out here after Logan went outside, and if so, for how long. 

“No, I’m not,” he found himself saying. “My name is Logan. It is raining- would you like to come in?”

He was exceedingly aware of the boy’s breathing as they stepped out of the rain, something that would normally drive him insane- somehow he didn’t mind this time. His presence was almost calming after weeks of bringing a break from Logan’s ceaseless work. It assured him that the ghostly pale man was real, which was never a problem he thought he’d be debating... but here was this skeleton-thin, strange-mannered man entering his house as though he’d been there a million times before.

He carefully slid his shoes off, paying close attention to the floor- and no attention to Logan. 

“I’ll make tea,” the latter found himself mumbling. “Do you want to come into the kitchen?”

“I’m gonna go upstairs,” the boy said. Logan blinked.

“I- you… this is my house?” He stuttered, trying to be assertive- surely that crossed a line? He’d never seen this kid before a month ago- but there he went, lugging himself up the stairs like he belonged there. O-kay. 

Logan backed into the drafty kitchen to put the kettle on.

Time to listen to his voice of reason, he decided. Clearly this boy had been in the house before- hopefully before Logan had moved in- and knew his way around. And clearly his mental state had some connection to the house- whether positive or negative, Logan couldn’t yet tell. So, he concluded, it’s possible that he had lived here before. The married couple that had sold him the house had mentioned a son, but they’d been moving out of town- how would the boy have made his way back almost daily? There was a bus line in the area... but who was Patton, and why had his absence been unexpected?

There was clearly missing information here, and thus the situation was theoretically dangerous. The logical thing to do would be to contact the authorities for more information- maybe the boy was a local that they were familiar with. If that were the case, they would know how to handle him. 

On the other hand… it was, put simply, a puzzle. Wasn’t it? Logan was smart; he was in online college and he was passing quite well. He had an A in psych so far. He just needed a few more minutes with the boy and he’d figure it out. He could help him... why else would he show up outside his house? 

He needed Logan.

There goes rational thought, Logan sighed as the kettle started to whistle, turning off the stovetop and moving the pot to the side. Something made him turn around- the boy was watching him from the doorway, looking almost more upset than usual. His wide eyes were watery, and as Logan hesitated he wiped an arm across his face again, expression turning to frustration. He avoided Logan’s gaze. “You said you were making tea?” He said, carefully controlled voice just above a whisper. Logan was startled out of his stupor by the boy’s coherence.

“I, um- yes! Yes, would you- what kind?”

“Earl grey? No sugar, just a bit of milk...” he carefully pulled a chair from the small table, slumping into it and reaching to fidget with the salt shaker. “Please.”

The boy’s words stirred Logan into movement and he grabbed two mugs out of the mostly barren cabinet before pulling a pre-packaged tea bag from the tea box on the counter. He unwrapped the tea and dropped one bag in each mug, pouring steaming water from the kettle into them with a satisfying noise. The warm humidity and pleasant smell caressed Logan’s face, and he took a moment to bask in it before returning to the present moment- if begrudgingly. As he set the empty kettle aside, the room quieted, the only sound the rain drizzling over the side of the roof. Logan crossed the space self-consciously to close the window. The boy’s eyes were pointedly focused on the table in front of him- Logan thought he felt more awkward this way than if the boy had been staring at him flat-out. Either way, he could feel his awareness of Logan like a thick fog. He snuck another look at the boy as he hovered beside a chair, unsure whether to sit opposite him. 

“My name is Logan,” he prompted, thoughts stumbling over each other to curse him for the repetition. 

“Thank you for the tea, Logan.”

...Well, at least that was something. His name sounded strange in the other boy’s hoarse, delicate voice- less mundane, somehow. He stood at the head of a table for one more moment that seemed to stretch out an eternity- the boy carefully spun the salt shaker around in his nimble fingers, swearing softly as some of the seasoning fell onto the table. Logan’s startled eyes studied the other’s flushed face.

And then his head caught up to him, and he shuttered into motion, rushing to the mostly empty fridge for milk and fetching the small bag of sugar he’d mercifully bought a few days before. 

“I... I’ve seen you around,” Logan’s mouth betrayed him again. That was creepy- although, looking at it objectively, it was much less creepy than being ‘around’ the way the boy had. The table behind was quiet for too long as he poured the milk. 

“...When’d you move in?” The voice was quiet and held a fragility that Logan hadn’t yet heard from the other. He was relieved to finally have an easy answer to one of the many questions he faced. And, indeed, his mouth finally obeyed him, even and direct.

“About a month ago.” He turned to face the table, the boy’s tea held stiffly between his hands. 

“Sorry,” he whispered as Logan set down the tea. “I knew someone’d moved in, but I guess… it was you.” The boy let out a hollow laugh, and Logan was swept with protectiveness once more.

“Don’t worry, I won’t alert the authorities.” Because that was the most comforting thing he could think of- he’d never been very tactful with delicate emotional situations. Predictably, the boy tensed. Logan decided it’d be advisable for him to move on. “What is your name, pray tell?”

Pray tell. Pray fucking tell? What was wrong with him? The boy cut him off before he could overthink the foot he’d just shoved in his mouth with the eloquence of an 1800s era schoolboy. 

“Patton.” A moment passed before a look of horror came over his face. “Or- no, I- it’s- Virgil! Virgil.”

Now- once again, logically- forgetting one's name was not a good sign. Of general coherence nor moral innocence. Logan knew this. 

Still, the boy looked uniquely upset by the mistake. 

Logan fetched his tea and sat down opposite him.

The other boy fidgeted incessantly, and Logan felt it fell on him to make Virgil more comfortable. He threw tact to the wind- it was tiresome anyway- in favor of distracting the other and himself from the strange fumble.

“Are you a local?”

He got a nod in response, Virgil holding the tea tightly between his hands. Logan couldn’t help but feel he’d made yet another mistake- obviously the boy wasn’t comfortable talking about himself, but was it worth Logan filling the silence with unprompted facts about himself? Would that bore Virgil? Was that rude? He let the gap in conversation rest for a moment before deciding he didn’t much care what was rude.

“This is my second year enrolled in online college- I skipped my senior year.”

The stupid non-sequitor sat in the middle of the table, sinking like a rock. Virgil managed to give him an incredulous look, even in the depths of... whatever it was that was affecting him. Logan panicked. 

Here are a few things about Logan Croft that were usually a given:

                  1. He often said things without regard to the effect they would have on others. 

                  2. He did not say things he didn’t believe to be true.

                  3. He did not readily employ personal information.

All of these rules had apparently been thrown out the window the second Virgil walked in his door. As soon as he realized this, he worked to reclaim them. “Virgil.”

The wind immediately blew out of his sails, and he closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. Speaking abrasively had never been difficult for him, and this was not the time to adopt a new weakness. “I need to know who you are. You have shown up outside of my house for the past month, and while the reasoning behind this is presumably personal and not necessarily critical for me to know, I will at least need you to tell me your full name. Against my better judgement, I will not contact the authorities about your incessant invasion of my privacy, because I don’t altogether mind it- but if you are to have regular access to my house, we can’t continue this one-sided conversation.” Regular access to his house? When had Logan considered that option? As soon as he asked himself the question, he knew the answer- the feeling of someone appearing in the doorway, seeking Logan’s company… it was something that he’d missed sorely. It was something he needed.

The boy looked startled and altogether terrified by the long stream of words. Logan, still working hard to recover his sense and new to the inclination of softening his words on the behalf of strangers, disregarded this as best he could as he waited for an answer. 

It didn’t look like he was going to get one.

Virgil opened and closed his mouth like a fish out of water, putting the salt shaker down on it’s side like he’d been caught doing something he wasn’t supposed to. Logan felt a tug in his stomach to right it, afraid he’d get more salt on his table, but now didn’t seem like the time. 

As the moment stretched forward, his attention was grabbed away anyways, trying to decipher Virgil’s expression. It didn’t look good. 

In fact, it made his heart drop.

The boy looked withdrawn, fearful- like a bird with an injured wing or a snared fox. Damn it, damn it, damn it- Logan’s split-second adopted mantra was less than helpful, but it showed no signs of tapering off to make room for useful thoughts. Virgil’s eyes squeezed shut, and the instincts left over from Logan’s career as an older brother took over. 

He rushed to Virgil’s side on blind autopilot, laying a warm hand over his bony back. The boy jumped at the unexpected touch- and then leaned into it, a choked sob tearing itself from his throat. Oh no. Oh god. Damn it. 

Logan didn’t consider himself good with emotions. He did his best to comfort his younger brothers- god knows they needed it- but strangers were a whole new situation and honestly he didn’t feel much better about this than he expected the boy did.

Nevertheless. 

“Hey, I-” he took a knee to lower himself to Virgil’s level, steadying himself against the table awkwardly. “Um-”

He choked on what to say, but his mind latched to the one thing he knew. Virgil had responded positively to touch- and with little further thought, Logan bundled the shivering boy into his arms.

Logan would’ve immediately taken back the show of affection by any means necessary if Virgil hadn’t melted into the touch so readily- Logan was reminded of an oversized cat. 

That being said, Logan was holding a sobbing stranger in his arms in his new house, alone. Damn it, damn it, damn it.

Logan had always been the kid at family gatherings who did everything in his power to ward off physical contact from his overbearing relatives. Although this situation was completely different and altogether impossible to plan for and avoid, he found himself reacting in somewhat of the same way- each place that Virgil’s thin, trembling body touched his screamed at him to recoil.

He did not.

He brought to mind his brothers- not that they’d ever been particularly physically affectionate with him. They’d always turned to each other, and he’d been left to himself. Understandably. But he imagined if they had seeked his reassurance, if they’d ever been as upset as this stranger was now. If they’d let him in. 

But now someone was leaning on him for comfort, and he was determined to provide for them. Imagine if Remus had come to him for help, he kept thinking. Imagine if it were Roman. 

And all of a sudden he had to hold back tears himself. He tensed, carefully leaning Virgill back onto his chair- Logan’s chair. Sensing the other’s discomfort, the boy came back to himself like a fire blazing across dry wood. 

“Fuck- fuck, I-I’m-” the boy was off at a rushed stutter, scrambling to right himself and wiping his eyes angrily. Logan shook his head, patting Virgil’s shoulder awkwardly. 

“Drink your tea,” Logan said stiffly. “It’s okay. I don’t- do you need something?” Good job, he thought sarcastically. Just pretend it never happened. Show him that, apologies, you seem to have made him think you’re an emotional resource. He was wrong, you’re actually a sociopath. Once again, sorry for any inconvenience. 

Logan’s thoughts stuttered and shouted as he tried to fix whatever he’d done. Virgil was quite obviously shaking, almost unable to hold his tea to his lips although he did make an effort, and Logan resorted back to psych class- maybe not a panic attack, but certainly an emotional breakdown and possibly an anxiety attack. “Do you have a history of generalized anxiety disorder?” Logan asked automatically, the place where he should have held a capacity for compassion currently void for whatever stupid reason. “Or even a suspected case?” The thunderstorm in his mind froze entirely as Virgil’s watery brown eyes focused on him. 

“...I guess,” he rasped quietly, eyes flickering back to his hands as they picked at each other violently. “I dunno.”

Logan let out a long breath, sliding furtively into the chair opposite Virgil. 

“If you’re having an anxiety attack, it could be caused by a persistent disorder or a recent traumatic event- although recent is a problematically inspecific measurement-” 

“Uh, then I- I dunno. Still. I guess…” He shrugged, looking away. “How recent is recently?”

Logan tried to hold back a sigh of relief at the comparatively simple question.

“Generally, anxiety attacks are caused by a buildup of unfinished tasks or other irritants, although there’s often an overarching problem or incident. A traumatic event can cause emotional turmoil for years after it occurs- or for the remainder of one’s life, depending on it’s nature- but in most to all cases, the effects lessen as time goes on.” Virgil nodded slowly. 

“And- and what are the symptoms? Of an anxiety attack?” He pulled his legs up to his chest, presumably placating the urge to make himself smaller. Logan rattled off the characteristics quickly.

“Shaking, a feeling of unease, impulsive thoughts, nausea, panic, the sensation of being trapped or cornered, restlessness, hyperventilation, trouble concentrating, dyspnea- shortness of breath, that is- am I making sense?” He wrapped his hands around the cooling cup of tea in front of him, feeling the need to steady himself. Virgil nodded again- it was apparent he was a man of few words. That worked out wonderfully, Logan thought, as he himself seemed so bent on talking as much as humanly possible. 

“Yeah,” Virgil muttered- then stood up abruptly. “Um- I should probably go. Sorry for… yeah.” Logan, decidedly more alarmed at the idea than he should’ve been, got to his feet as well.

“No- I mean, you don’t… have to. If you’d rather- but if you feel the need to go- I mean, I don’t want you to…” Logan paused, squeezing his eyes shut and trying to get his damn mouth under the control of his brain. Had he said something wrong? Well, obviously he’d said many things wrong in the past minutes, but… he thought over the conversation. He’d only been saying the facts- just what he knew. Was there something he should have kept to himself? Was any of it too personal? It was just facts, statistics, symptoms- he cursed himself mentally, although he couldn’t tell precisely what for.

While he’d been deliberating- not panicking, never panicking- Virgil had frozen in place. Right. The whole blazing trainwreck of words he’d let out for no apparent reason. Where the hell had that even come from? He’d known this kid for a month- five minutes face-to-face- and he was already being weird and nonsensical. It took considerable effort to bring the circumstances of their meeting to mind and even the playing field in his subconscious. If they were both creepy, did it even out? “I-I meant... you’re welcome here.” 

Logan could see the gears turning in Virgil’s head as he fell back into his chair. A weight slid off of his shoulders as the air between them settled- they were even. Or something. 

As much as he expected to regret his words, he was surprised at the lack of protest from his thoughts. It was, for once, blessedly quiet both inside his head and out. Logan sat back down warily. “You obviously have some- some connection to this house.” Like some sort of undead apparition, he thought- but he had the sense to keep that, at least, inside. “I can’t tell if it has a positive or negative effect on your mental state as I seem to be an uncalled for variable in your visit. I’m no psychological authority... I know you’ll come back either way, and I don’t like imagining you back out in the rain.” A shiver went through the boy like a roll of thunder, and he nodded. 

“When can I come here again?”

[invisibleraven]

To take away the pain inside (Here he comes)

Saw this post and you know I had to write a fic about the cutest scenario ever.

Julie is really enjoying her date with Reggie, that is until he asked her to split a milkshake with him...

On AO3 here

Julie swore as she raced down the sidewalk, cursing her bus for making her late. This was her first date with Reggie and she hoped he was still waiting for her. They had met on a dating app, Julie immediately liking his boyish grin, his endless supply of jokes, and his love of music-all music. She might not get his love of Star Wars, but she did enjoy how passionate he was about the franchise.

As she approached the diner, she saw a man standing outside it, a leather jacket on his lean frame, and a frown on his face as he checked his phone. "Reggie!" she called, waving, and his face lit up with a smile. She was sure her hair was a riot of curls, her face flushed from running, but Reggie was still beaming at her as she got close to him.

“I thought you might have bailed,” he said quietly.

“Stupid bus got caught in a traffic stop, and it had to be in a no service zone to make it all the better. I’m sorry I made you wait.” Julie said, then held out a hand. “Do you still wanna get lunch?”

His stomach chose that moment to grumble loudly, the two of them giggling after it stopped. Reggie’s cheekbones were aflame with the brightest blush, but Julie was entranced by it, how it highlighted his freckles, and how it offset the colour of his eyes. “Guess that answers that.” Reggie said, taking her hand in his and leading them into the diner.

His grip was firm and warm, but not clammy, and he led them back to a corner booth so they could sit next to each other, which Julie secretly appreciated. There was a jukebox playing classic rock in the corner, and everything was varying pastel shades of pink and teal. Julie could dig the vintage Americana vibes, and thought it was more fun than any generic coffee shop. Plus she hated coffee, and Reggie said he would be jittery all night if he drank any more than his usual morning cup, and suggested the diner instead.

They made idle chit chat as they waited for the waiter to come over with menus, which happened quickly after they sat. There was nothing out of the ordinary, but Julie was debating whether or not she wanted to get onion rings. She hoped the date would go well enough that she could kiss Reggie at the end, so maybe eating them would turn him off or worse, make him think she was eating them because she had no intention of kissing him at all. She decided against them and settled on a sandwich when Reggie spoke up.

"Do you wanna split an order of onion rings? I'm craving them for some reason, but I don't think I want a whole basket, they are generous with their portions here."

"I love onion rings."

Reggie smiled, closing his menu, and waved at the waiter who was awaiting their order. He gave Julie a nod letting her know she could order first, and Julie let out a silent sigh of relief. She hated when macho douches tried to order food for her without asking. Particularly when they got her order wrong. Which had happened too many times for her liking, and once ended in her getting food poisoning and becoming single in the same night.

Orders placed, they went back to discussing the latest superhero movie they had both seen, Reggie finding it hilarious while the gory fight scenes had kind of ruined the experience for Julie. She loved how they could disagree without fighting, each listening to the others points and conceding or changing the subject at will. The conversation went on through their food, the onion rings providing lots of instances of their fingers meeting and small blushes as they touched.

"Do you want to split a milkshake?" Reggie asked, seemingly out of nowhere. Julie felt herself freeze up, and tried to keep her face neutral. Every time she had a milkshake in the past it had led to gastrointestinal distress, so she tended to avoid them. But that sweet longing look on Reggie's face made her want to share one with him so badly.

"Milkshakes don't tend to agree with me actually. I don't know why." Julie replied, the remorse showing on her face.

"Maybe you're lactose intolerant?" He suggested, pulling a small package from the inner pocket of his jacket. "I am too, but I love ice cream too much to give it up." He offered her the package, the Lacktaid logo clear, and took out another for himself. "I like strawberry, but you can choose the flavour if you want."

Julie watched him pop the pill into his mouth, and cautiously did the same. Reggie grinned, and when the waiter came over, Julie asked for a strawberry milkshake to share, winking at Reggie while she did so. “Oh, and whatever pie is on special today, with two forks please.” she asked before the waiter left.

“Apple, you want that a la mode?”

“Heated is just fine.” Reggie replied, turning to Julie. “Don’t wanna chance double ice cream.”

“I’m trusting you with this Peters.” Julie said, leaning in to him a little.

“It’s an honour to have your trust Molina.” he replied, closing the distance between them even further. Julie could make out every shade of green in his eyes, the dozens of tiny freckles littering his nose and cheekbones, the faint flush covering his face. She inched forward, ending the distance between them with a tiny peck to his lips, loving his awed expression as she pulled away.

It was quiet between them, both just looking at each other, barely noticing anyone else until their dessert was sat before them, the waiter smirking as he walked away. Julie relished the sweet creamy milkshake as she drank it, but it was nothing compared to being able to share it with Reggie, and the sweet expression on his face as they shared eye contact. She nudged his ankle with the toe of her shoe, a small game of footsie breaking out as they shared the pie and shake, talking animatedly about her classes and his band.

It was almost a half hour later as they settled the bill, agreeing to split it after neither would concede to letting the other pay the full thing when Reggie asked. “So, how are you feeling? No tummy issues after the milkshake?”

Julie looked at him, a bit astounded, she had completely forgotten how the treat usually affected her, so caught up in spending time with him. But a quick mental scan showed she felt… fine. No gurgling or nausea, no urgent need for the bathroom. She beamed at him brightly, and he smiled back. “When you’re right, you’re right. Now I gotta get me some of those pills so I can experiment with other dairy products I’ve been avoiding.”

“I’d love to accompany you on these dairy adventures.” Reggie said, gripping her hands in his, and smiling as they left the diner. “Wait until I get you to try this delicious goat cheese I found…”

Ten years later

“Babe, hurry up or we’ll be late for Alex and Willie’s wine and cheese night!” Julie called, fluffing up her hair.

“Coming!” her husband bellowed back, then hearing him telling their son to be good for abuelo and they would be back later.

Julie popped her head into the living room, smiling at her dad who was rocking her daughter, whispering to her in Spanish as she drifted off to sleep. “We’re off.” she whispered, “We’ll be back around 10, okay?”

“Sounds good mija, have fun.” Ray replied, easing the bottle from his granddaughter’s mouth and smiling softly at her.

Julie went to the door, smiling as Reggie came down the stairs, looking just as handsome as he had on their first date. He greeted her with a small kiss, waving at Ray as they went out the door.

“Got the Lactaid?” Julie asked.

“Always.” Reggie replied, flashing her the packets from the inside of his jacket.

“Best husband ever.” she said, standing on her tiptoes for a kiss, then grabbing his hand to pull him towards the car. After all, they had cheese to enjoy!

[lady-janes-smut-stash]

Class Trip First Kiss

Words: 1000

spice:  Mild

You are a new transfer student at U.A., stifled by the language barrier between you and your peers. When that barrier comes crashing down your emotions get the better of you and you cant contain yourself-

You had been in class 1-A for several weeks now, but being an American transfer student with a limited knowledge of the Japanese language made connecting with others almost impossible.  Your English-Japanese translation App on your phone had become a staple, as you had to translate nearly every lesson to English before even studying it.  Struggling to communicate with your classmates was not something you really had time for if you wanted to pass your classes, the language barrier turning a moment of speech into a fifteen minute miming session.

That’s why the class training trip came as such a surprise.

You missed Mr.Aizawa’s pre-class lecture announcement, and there was no way for you to pick out keywords from your classmates, who all seemed to speak faster in their excitement. You knew something was going on, but kept to yourself, knowing from experience that you would only embarrass yourself if you tried asking anyone.

You had been pulled aside by your teacher, Mr.Aizawa,only to be explained in halting, thickly accented English that you needed to pack a bag for a class trip, the bus arriving in less than an hour.

The trip to the training camp took nearly a full day by bus.  You sat in the only unoccupied seat, making yourself unnoticeable, you weren't in the mood to try and bumble your way through communication today, too busy worrying about what exactly was going on.

The bus eased to a stop, and your classmates stood quickly, their loud bustle rocking the vehicle as they poured out of it.  You were last out of the bus, but immediately regretted it. The view was breathtaking.   

The mountain range before you was thick with vegetation, the farther peeks painted in various shades of blue against the red and pink hues of the setting sun.  The orange glow from its lingering rays warmed your skin between gusts of crisp pine scented air.  

You startled as Mr.Aizawa drew the attention of the class, a group of colorful pro heroes you never seen before crowded behind him. His firm voice commanded silence as he spoke smoothly in the language you wish you knew even half as well.  

You kept to the back as your classmates drew closer to listen in, there was no point in doing the same when you wouldn't understand a thing.  

“HEY, Y/N!” You sighed in relief as Mr.Yamada’s blond head popped up over the crowd, being one of the few people fluent in the language, he had quickly become your favorite teacher.

He bounded to you with such energy you couldn't help but laugh. You ignored the surprised stares of your classmates as Mr.Yamada draped an arm over your shoulder in a half hug.  “Not even gonna try are ya?”  He leaned over, leveling his gaze with yours, his signature smile plastered on his face while his brows wrinkled in concern.

“I- yeah.” Your ignorance with the language had murdered your confidence, how were you supposed to be yourself or make friends if you couldn't speak to someone on the same level.

“Well, kid.” you nearly bowled over as he slapped your shoulder with an echoing laugh, “time to get over that.”

“What?”  Your eyes widened in horror, what did they have planned? 

“Don’t worry, I’ll make sure you get saddled with a partner that will look out for you!”  He ruffled your hair, his wild voice getting more boisterous with every second. “Everyone gets a partner, then we are gonna throw each pair in different locations in the woods! Survival is the name of the gaaaaaaame!”

“WHAT?” you grabbed blond the teacher by his collar, pulling him down to face you as you interrogated him.  Your classmates circled you with varying expressions ranging from utter shock to laughter. 

You blushed as you released your teacher only to hide behind him.

You were saved by Mr.Aizawa shout, your classmates fell into line as he began calling out names, pairing students for the impending survival course.

Mr.Yamada took his place beside Mr.Aizawa, his eyes sparkling behind his glasses as he leaned down to whisper into Mr.Aizawa’s ear. You pinked as your classmates side eyed you.

Mr.Aizawa huffed as he marked something down on the clipboard he held in response to his colleagues whispers.

“L/N.”  Mr.Aizawa called out, you made your way outside of the group to stand with the students already paired, so intent on your predicament that you failed to hear the name of your partner being called as well. 

As you pulled out your phone to load up the familiar translation app and set up the usual pleasantries exchanged with greeting, one of the pro heroes from behind Mr.Aizawa made their way to stand in front of you. You tried tapped the screen of your phone in a rush for the hero but they flicked you on the forehead before you could manage it.

“Ow, that hurt!” you cried.

“There, that’s better.”  The masked pro, patted your head. 

“I can speak the la-”

“Oh, you speak English?”

“Nope, not a word of it. But now you wont be needing this.” The pro plucked the phone from your hand to pocket it in their utility belt. “Phones aren't allowed out here anyways.”

“Yep.” The hero snickered and turned on their heels before any thanks could leave your lips. 

A whirlwind of emotions nearly overtook you as you contemplated your new situation.  

This changed everything.  

Your lips pulled up into a bright smile, a weight had been lifted off your shoulders that you hadn't even known you carried until that moment.

A light tap on your shoulder pulled you back into the present.

You turned toward the newcomer, still beaming from the gift the pro had bestowed upon you.  The light chattering around you was finally discernible, you were overwhelmed with joy, 

When the person behind you spoke to you in a language you could finally understand,  you couldn't contain yourself- your emotions burst forth like a tidal wave forcing you into action.

“I know you can't understand what I’m saying, but we are partners-”

You grabbed their face, fingers buried into their hair as your  lips slammed against theirs, cutting their words off with a firm kiss. Their sharp gasp was came out as a muffled hum. You felt their body stiffen against yours, and relax again just as quickly.

WHO DID YOU JUST KISS?

DENKI KAMINARI

KATSUKI BAKUGO

EIJIRO KIRISHIMA

FUMICAGE TOKOYAMI

MEZO SHOJI

MINA ASHIDO

TENYA IIDA

MASHIRAO OJIRO

[elysicndrcvm]

━♡ guess the 23 YEAR OLD FEBRUARY baby just arrived to dallyeog! it makes sense, because CHU EUNHA is just as BEDAZZLING as the month of FEBRUARY. wait, why do they remind me of JACOB BAE? beyond that, they seemed JOYOUS and SAVVY upon first glance. i heard someone say they’re sort of DELICATE and QUIXOTIC though. i hope they get acquainted here in COMPLEX 1 / APARTMENT 0215 / FLOOR 3 ; HE seem(s) to have a lot going on with HIS job as a PATISSERIE OWNER/NUTRITIONAL SCIENCE STUDENT. ( ez, 21, she/they, gmt. )

     well hey there !! im ez but you fellow dallyeogers can call me ezzy, i have been in dallyeog before so some may remember me as having someone v different to my new bb i bring u now, i joined before with miss tam carmen !! anygays i return with this lil angel who i am all ‘ i say that’s my baby and i’m proud ’ over already even tho i literally came up with him like two days ago. you can find his pinboard here ( which btw i fuckeN love like he’s so aesthetic to me u go king ) and i made him a lil playlist which u can vibe to here. you can learn more about him under the cut but he’s a super soft-hearted gentle dove of a muse and quite...simple for me ?? sdhdh that’s not the right wording but U GET IT djjflg he isn’t super full of angst or trauma he’s just kinda viBIN livin his best life so that’s fun !! but ye without further ado: 

so as u kno from his app he owns a patisserie, it’s his lil babey and he is very dedicated to his craft and makin sure all his ideas for the place and the baked goods he sells are like rlly quirky and avant-garde. like he is so passionate about it u dont even KNOW, he tries to make sure most of the stuff on his menu is something like fun and new u wouldn’t get at just any old patisserie or cafe and that it’s super varied and also kinda aesthetic af? the place is very like trendy. it’s called patisserie d’elysian cause ya know he’s an extra biTCHH and proud.

he has three pupperino’s. all as adorable as each other, snickerdoodle is his golden lab and often ppl shorten it down to snickers, butterscotch is his dapple daschund pup, shortens the name to scotchie often. toulouse is his fancy toy poodle boi, shortens the name down as toto. if u are on the shortened name basis with his pups then u can consider urself one of his close pals. 

he’s actually adopted by his aunt but she raised him like she was his mother so that is what he considers her, she’s on his mother’s side but they are half-siblings. in terms of first name reasoning as well she just liked eunha as a name and didn’t even think about how it is traditionally for a female, she liked that it meant gift from heaven so it stuck. his father is still around, he’s just quite elderly so it felt like a better living situation for him to be raised primarily by his auntie. unfortunately his mother has passed on but no tragic story, she just went peacefully in old age. 

he dyes his hair quite often, it’s currently like a really pastel blue with black streaks consistently throughout like lil ones so it looks super cool. but he’s also had it be a more electric blue, lilac, and a duck egg kinda faded silvery blue. it’s naturally dark brunette. has brown eyes kind of a hazel hue. 

his style is kinda androgynous ig?? he just lives for soft retro fashion, lots of color in his wardrobe but also lots of tapered short and t-shirt fits frequented, sweater vests, rolled up jeans, high skater boi socks, soft jumpers with shirts, shirts in bright colours or satiny texture worn over plain white t-shirts, cardigans, pastel denim jackets, jeans with printed patterns on like clouds, flowers etc, favors yellow and blues. sometimes does eye makeup, occasionally wears heels bc he’s a baddie or super heeled boots/chunky shoes. 

obsessed with music, can play violin and guitar. he’s a big mitski and rina sawayama fanatic, likes anything that sounds peaceful or calming or has like a good fun vibe to it. also likes the trademark gay icons like carly rae jepsen, lorde, etc. he’s not ashamed. obsessed with mamma mia movies. but also likes rap which is rlly funny cause its like the bad bitch female rappers only and like he’ll listen to it while arranging his sock drawer or making his bed or something ajdjdj it’s like hype anthems for being a baddie and a hoe and he’s just doing his night sleepy routine adkfkf. 

showers, blankets, music, baked goods especially bagels are his happy places. 

very much a sensitive lil romanticist, falls in ‘love’ like five times a day, he just likes to giggle and smile around pretty people and admire the artwork hnghdh, he’s like yeARNS though ya know?? like he’s all i will flirt by making prolonged eye contact, i made you a playlist, this song makes me think of you etc. it’s either memes as flirting with him or elaborate love letters u never know what ur gonna get akdkd. 

awful sense of humour, loves his friends more than anything on earth except his pups, would fully live in a huge house of just like his pups and all his closest buds for all eternity. likes fruits way too much, enjoys puns about fruits way too much. milkshakes, sushi, orange hues and bus rides are some of his absolute favorite simple pleasures of life. clouds, flowers, salt lamps, the sunrise over the sea, skateboarding, fresh soda, teddy bears, busy street markets, parasols, fish tanks with exotic fish, sorbet, bike riding, polaroids, record players, rain at night against floor to ceiling windows with a fresh steaming pot of tea on the desk beside it and warm fresh sheets from the laundry on his bed, ponds, skateboarding. all little joys in life that give him like the biggest pleasure dopamine hit in the world. 

his cousin actually owns a florists so he has flowers just littering his apartment like a lot and it just looks like he has ten million suitors from the late eighteenth century attempting to court him but no all these flowers are from him to him or worse from his aunt djfjg she sends him some for valentines every valentines, pls help him, pls send him flowers. 

studies nutritional science and he fucken hates it. do not ask him shit cause he doesn’t KNOW OKAY? he doesn’t understand it either. he took it because he needed something to go alongside the passion for baking that was a real ‘qualification’/job so that is the only reason he’s doing it. no point doing a baking degree after all when he’s already a baker with a business, he’s super young still he gotta keep his prospects open. so YAH. he’d rather be doing culinary arts but eh. nutritional science sounded better and more logic based. the real miracle is he still gets top grades all the time even tho he spends his life like wtf am i even doing is this even legit akdkdk. school is the worst thing in the world for him watch his mood instantly deflate the second its brought up. 

despite being a quixotic, he’s a lil afraid of intimacy. like oh god does he love it, those small touches and acts of affection u kno? the subtle things that normally go unnoticed, eye contact, brushing of hands, linking of little fingers, rubbing a thumb, kissing eyelids or foreheads or palms or shoulders in little gentle pecks, back massages and rubs or finger tracing patterns absent-minded, shoulder massages, laying your head on someone’s shoulder or on their lap, knocking knees together, exchanging a small glance only the two of you get before bursting into laughter, smiling into kisses, napping together, having blankets placed over you warm and fresh, or towels put ready like it, someone making you something they know you like a lot. that’s his sHIT. but like he’s terrified still, someone skimming their fingers on his skin makes his breath hitch like he’s a scandalized and alarmingly aroused victorian woman sjdjd. he’s literally still a virgin, he hasn’t even had his first kiss okay my baby is delicate be gentle with him akdkd but he still LIKES PASSION AIGHT kfkf. 

real soft spoken, honey tinted voice like i shit u not this boy talks like he’s an angel sent from heavens above to guide you to the paradisaical garden of eden or some shit akdkd. ur gonna fall in love with eunha’s voice before u even fall in love with any other part of him like his adorable beaming smile or stunning eyes akdkf. 

has dance parties around his room when getting ready in the morning, listens to bella’s lullaby unironically yes from twilight yes u heard right, bit of a himbo streak sometimes in his obliviousness djfjf. quite silently subtly funny actually much like jacob himself. 

he is gay, afraid of driving, cannot do math, blanks out often and he is valid for all of those things. has a collection of cartoon and disney animal movie dvds. has a dream notebook. always has blue painted nails in some kinda shade. 

does not enjoy turning in assignments bc he is scared he’ll fail, avoids looking at his grades for weeks after they’re released and hates knowing that they’re out. 

cannot dance, dances often. collects vintage stuff esp clothes and mostly sweaters. likes midnight trips to corner stores and fields where he can just lay and look at the stars. makes friends rlly easily but has super bad performance anxiety. cannot ever have a messy room like even the tiniest bit messy. even like clothes being stacked on a chair instead of away. 

bakes peanut butter, banana and choc chip muffins (they r called monkey bites normally) whenever he’s super stressed. if u want to cheer him up when he’s anxious or stressed then u should give him french lavender honey, chia seeds and caramelized pear on toast/bagel. it is his comfort food. he fancii when he needs a pick me up. treat urself and all that. 

[thisisthestoryofanotherus]

Get into my car -MC [Draft]

A/n: So....a long time ago...so long idk when this happened....I got an ask requesting for essentially a fetus Uber driver Mikey x reader Alex... this has been in my drafts for over a year and its not bad enough to delete but I will probably not continue it either lol. The whole request I wanted to center on Get into my car by Echosmith so read this and watch the music video here to kinda decide for yourself how the rest of this story goes! Haven’t posted in a bit so hopes this makes someone smile while I continue writing my next piece. Enjoy!

"Come on Alex…let me give you a ride… I mean my car is right over there!"

"Thanks Brian but no I'm good. And I told you, I already called an Uber. Look my driver Michael will be here any minute!"

Brian….Most girls would find him attractive. He was smart and on the football team…perfect package. But me? I just found him annoying.

My name is Alex. And if you can't tell yet, I'm not like most girls.

Brian insisted on walking with me after class, thinking I might finally let him give me a ride home. You lived pretty far from campus, or far enough so you couldn't walk there. Most of the time you just took an Uber, but you'd take the city bus before you'd get in Brian's car.

"You're really gonna trust some stranger guy to give you a ride? There's a lot of weirdos on Uber! You have to be careful."

Thank goodness a red mustang pulled up, the car Michael drove. Because if he hadn't pulled up you might have told Brian he was the only weirdo in this scenario.

The dark window rolled down and you saw what must have been Michael. He had bright red hair and green eyes. He was also one of the most gorgeous guys you had ever seen. Best part was he had the whole punk rocker vibe going for him, something you felt instantly attracted to. You'd bet money he played the guitar.

"Are you Alex?" Michael asked….that accent….you were done for. Not that you could let him know that. It took everything you had not to stand there with your mouth open, gawking at him.

"That's me!" You smiled. As you climbed in the back you waved to Brian. "Bye!"

"I'll see you later Alex!" Brain called. You slammed the door shut, grateful for the tinted windows so he couldn't see you roll your eyes. But Michael did.

"Boyfriend?" He chuckled.

"Ew no. Just some guy I can't seem to shake off."

"Ah. That makes better sense. Poor guy can't take a hint or what?"

"Definitely. So you new? I take Uber a lot, never had you before"

"Ya I actually started driving part time last week. The extra cash really helps."

"So does this car….what is it you do full time then?"

"Um well I'm in a band. Nothing major but we're pretty popular on YouTube."

"Oh my gosh I knew it! Let me guess you play guitar!!"

"What does that mean?"

"You just look like you'd play guitar is all."

"Oh…well ya you're right. I sing too."

"Well that is a surprise. What kinda music you play? Based on your Metallica tee is it punk rock? Or you just trying to look cool?"

"Well we don't really follow a specific genre…but…well here I'll let you listen to this."

You heard the strum of the guitar, then when the singing started you instantly got into the song. It was a little slower than you expected, and a love song saying they could fix this heartbreak girl. Not what you thought the music would sound like at all, but you really liked it. The song ended when Michael pulled into your driveway.

"So…what do you think?" Michael asked, his cheeks turning a slight pink as though he were embarrassed.

"Hmmm…." You said, pouting your lip, really dragging this out. "I love it!! Is this one on YouTube?"

"Yeah, it's called heartbreak girl. Check out our other stuff too. That is if you want. Our music kinda varies and we have a ton of covers up."

"I definitely will. Thanks for the ride Michael! Maybe I can get you next time!" You climbed out the car, closing the door behind you as you waved goodbye. It wasn't until you closed your front door behind you that you could really process what just happened.

[rosy-chimchim]

Sweet As Can Be

Genre: F L U F F, a little nsfw at points, lots of ice cream and smooches Word Count: 10k baby Summary: Summer jobs blow, but boy are you glad that the cute ice cream scoop decided to work this summer break (This whole idea came from me falling in love worth Scoops Ahoy and Steve Harrington in Stranger Things season 3, but it’s nothing like Stranger Things lol.)

it was hot out

Like REALLY HOT

You know that type of humid sticky hot that feels like the air is just suffocating you in it’s yucky blanket of heat

That type of hot

You could feel yourself melting with each step you took home,,,it was just nasty

Each owner of the little mom and pop shops you’d pass by would give you a sympathetic smile or wave as you struggled on your trek home,,,oOf they knew it was bad out there

It was horrible >:(

All you wanted was to be at home laying in front of an industrial fan, drinking some cold goddamn water

Maybe not an industrial fan that would be really aggressive,,,a moderately sized but still powerful fan

You had been planning on relaxing by the beach this afternoon 

You even packed a cute little beach bag with a sandwich, a juice box, a towel, sunscreen, and some books you were reading!!!

but you forgot to check the weather and weren’t expecting this ~𝓱𝓮𝓪𝓽𝔀𝓪𝓿𝓮~ to hit and hit HARD

You set out for your beach adventure all excited to finally get a relaxing afternoon to yourself and the wonderful ocean!

But as you continued your journey to the beach, the temperature began to increase, going from a temperate 80 degrees fahrenheit with a nice breeze here and there to a WHOPPING 96 degrees with intense humidity and literally no breeze

Like wtf

Halfway to the beach you decided to call it, it was way too hot and the thought of steaming like a lobster on the sand wasn’t very appealing anymore

Throughout your walk home you had eaten your sandwich and drank your juice box

It wasn’t even a big juice box it was like one of those stupid Motts Kids juice boxes that only contains like 5 sips of juice, anyway-

Your tummy was rumbling and you were slowly giving into the idea of getting food

You scanned the block you were walking for any place to grab something to eat

There was a flower shop, not an option

A salon, once again,,, thats a no go

Rows and rows of apartments, lucky bastards in their air conditioned homes

Your eyes fall on a yellow and pink building, it sticks out like a sore thumb around the chicer buildings in the area

Walking closer you read the shops sign 

‘Scoopies Frozen Treats: Authentic Ice Cream Parlor!’

PERFECT

Pushing the double doors open, you hear a little bell go off signifying the workers you were here

The…wor…kers??

There was nobody here 

No one was behind the counter or the rows and rows of ice cream tubs

ICE CREAM TUBS

With hesitant steps and a few more glances around the parlor you walked up to the glass window where the ice cream was held

The colors and flavors were mesmerizing, they all looked so delicious 

Of course you had your classics: vanilla, chocolate, strawberry, etc.

But there were also some more interesting flavors: lemon poppyseed, honey pistachio, PB&J swirl, Sour Patch kids and more

Entranced by the varying flavors you never heard the back door being pushed open by a grumbling boy

Or the sound of his feet as he made his way over to you

“Hi welcome-“

“HOLY SHIT”

“-to Scoopies?”

You swear you jumped five feet in the air from being startled

Damn he got you good,,,real big spook

Composing yourself and trying to will away the flush of embarrassment you finally look up at the boy who just gave you the scare of your life

“Yes, h-hi, hello. Jesus you really startled me wOW.” You managed to cough out

Wow really articulate 

Your jumpy nerves did not settle when you focused on the employee in front of you

oh

Oh wow he’s really cute

Black fluffy hair, pale skin, cute eyes that were scrunched up to match the look of a somewhat grumpy concern on his face

And to top it all off,,,a Scoopies uniform

A light pink and white striped t shirt with a yellow apron which had a smiling ice cream cone on it 

The text underneath the cone said “I’m as sweet as our ice cream!” SNORT

The pout that he was wearing seemed to speak otherwise

“Soooo are you gonna get anything?”

Oh right you were here for ice cream

“Yeah! Could I please have two scoops of strawberry please?”

You totally didn’t flash your brightest smile at him in hopes that he would think you were as cute as you thought he was nope not at all

Giving you a nod, he pulled out his scooper and began to fill your order

And not to like,,, drool or anything but his hands be lookin NICE while he grips that ice cream scooper 

Making your way to the register you wait for the boy to finish scooping your order

“$3.50 is your total”

You hand over your money and he grabs it

Your eyes follow up his arm to look at his pretty face again

His hair was puffy and tousled, most likely from the humidity along with his slightly rosy cheeks,,, damn it must suck to be working right now 

You glance toward his chest, hoping to find a name tag

BINGO THERE IT IS

“Hi my name is Yoongi!”

Yoongi,,,,cute name

“Here’s your change, have a good afternoon.”

Grabbing both your change and ice cream you start to head out the door when you remember 

The smoldering heat that awaits outside

Gross, like mega gross

You really didn’t want to face that again, not after being in the cool ice cream parlor

You glanced around the shop, there were only three tables and part of you didn’t feel like sitting at a table alone,,,that felt a little sad 

The were pink stools and a counter next to the ice cream display and that seemed like a perfect place to sit your little butt down and enjoy your treat

You set your bag on the seat next to you and started to eat your ice cream and holy shit did it hit the spot

You almost moaned out loud about how good the cold creamy treat felt on your parched throat,,,it was delicious

Continuing to eat, you let your eyes wander in search for Yoongi, the cute ice cream boy

You really couldn’t help yourself

He was fiddling around with some equipment, you’re not really sure cause all you could focus on was his face tbh

He was very very pretty like one of the prettiest people you’d ever seen

Something about him just entrances you

He looked like the cute boy next door type that you dreamed about as a kid

Okay you gotta look away now this staring thing is getting kind of creepy 

You continued to eat your ice cream only occasionally glancing toward the cute boy

Again you really couldn’t help yourself!!!

It was quite the shock when you saw him starting to walk over to you 

This is your chance!!! Trying to talk to him is now your mission

Yoongi spritzed the glass display and began to clean it when he heard a voice cut through the silence of the parlor

“It must be hard working on such a hot day like this huh?” 

Oh you were still here, he thought you had left a while back

Okay that’s such a lie he knew you were still here but was just trying to ignore you so he wouldn’t get distracted while cleaning and possibly knock something over and make a fool of himself

You were sweet(and really cute but you didn’t hear that from him), the sweetest customer he had all day, it seemed you fit the Scoopies “sweet as ice cream” slogan better than any of the employees

He was used to dealing with middle aged mothers coming in and barking orders at him about how they want to try this or that or how they only want this flavor but they were sold out of it but they wanted it anyways and-

It was safe to say that you were a very needed change of pace

Lost in his own thoughts, Yoongi realized he forgot to respond to your question

Your smile drops as you only get a grunt in reply to your question

Dang, not very talkative 

You brace yourself and try and shoot your shot one more time

“Have you been very busy today? Ya know because of how warm it is?”

His eyes flicker up to yours and stare blankly for a second

Shit maybe you shouldn’t have pushed your luck and asked a second question 

Oh noooo now he thinks you’re weird for asking him so many questions when he was clearly just trying to do his job and clean 

In your head your beginning to formulate a plan of how to leave as quickly as possible without looking like a crazy person, oh god you can never walk on this block again in fear of him seeing you

“Honestly not as many as you’d think.”

OH 

OH WEVE GOT A HIT

WE’VE GOT A PROPERLY WORDED RESPONSE 

Your smile reaches your ears as you respond “it’s probably cause no one wants to leave their little air conditioned paradises and face the nasty heat.”

He gives you his own little smile in response 

“Yeah I think that’s it.”

That little gummy smile sent your way made yours grow even larger

The silence between you two comes back but not for long

“Soooo, why did you leave your ‘air conditioned paradise’ today?”

ALERT ALERT HE JUST INITIATED THE CONVERSATION WHICH TRANSLATES THAT HES NOT ANNOYED BY YOOOUUU

You go into your whole spiel of how you were going to the beach but didn’t think to check the weather and look you even made this cute bag and all!!!

And he watched you, trying not to smile too big at the animated way you moved as you talked

Your hands flew all over the place and your eyebrows furrowed and unfurrowed at different points in the story, depending on the intensity 

Once you finished the retelling of your day, you took a deep breathe

Talking about this heatwave got you really worked up

An understanding expression graced Yoongi’s features and he nodded

“That’s pretty rough. I missed my bus today and walked here in the heat too.”

“Isn’t just horrible out there?”

Yoongi was nice to talk to, there weren’t very many awkward pauses and your conversation kept him occupied while he cleaned

You had finished your ice cream a long time ago and now just sat at the counter, swiveling in your stool as you listened to Yoongi intently 

But still, you knew that you couldn’t stay in that ice cream parlor forever even though you wanted to, very much so :(

You got up and threw your empty cup in the trash and gathered your bag, making sure you were leaving with everything you came with

Yoongi has gone back to cleaning the display, a little sad that you were leaving so soon

Even though it wasn’t “so soon” and you had been there a solid 45 minutes 

As you were walking out the door you yelled “See you later!” over your shoulder and proceeded with your walk home

He muttered a soft “Bye” he doubts you heard but it’s the thought that counts

Yoongi stands back at the register twiddling his thumbs and replaying your conversation over in his head

Your conversation 

You

HE NEVER ASKED YOU FOR YOUR NAME

WHAT KIND OF DOOFUS DOESNT ASK THE PRETTY GIRL HES BEEN CHATTING WITH FOR HER NAME

A YOONGI KIND OF DOOFUS APPARENTLY 

He just prays that you come back to visit him so he can properly get to know you :(

You did say “see you later” so he hopes that’s a good sign

That later comes sooner than expected and you find yourself walking into Scoopies two days later

This time there’s a bit of a line but you wait, bouncing on your heels and hoping that time would move a little faster

You gotta see your cinnamon apple!!!!

Well not really YOUR cinnamon apple

He doesn’t really know you like that

Anyway the line finally shortens and your excited cause not only do you get to see Yoongi but you also get ice cream!!

You walk up to the register all confidently ready to woo Yoongi right then and there

Only to be greeted by a different employee

A shock of light pink hair and a nice smile

His name tag said “Hi my name is Jimin!” With a bunch of hearts and flowers doodle around it

“Hi there! What can I get for you today?”

“Oh um, could I please have two scoops of cookie dough please?”

Mission of woo cute ice cream scoop failed, target not in range and not serving you

But Jimin was very sweet to you and your pretty sure he gave you a little extra ice cream instead of just two scoops

You took a seat at the counter, peaking around equipment to see if Yoongi was hiding behind anything

He’s pretty small lol

Got ‘em

Anyway, no luck he wasn’t tucked in any crevice of the parlor

“Excuse me?”

Jimin turns toward you 

Oh shit no this probably isn’t a smart 

“Is-is he here?”

“Is who here?”

Again super articulate questioning you goof

“Um Yoongi! Is Yoongi here? Today?”

Jimin smiled, he likes your personality, you remind him of an over excited puppy always tripping over themselves

“No he isn’t in right now.”

You smile falters and you glance down 

Suddenly your feet dangling off the stool became very interesting 

“Okay, that’s fine.” You send him a small smile trying to mask your slight disappointment 

You barely knew this dude but you were upset you didn’t get to see him working? Jesus girl get a grip 

“Buuuut, he’ll be here in 15 minutes for his next shift!”

Your head shoots up from the ground

“Oh! Okay perfect!” 

You grin widens as Jimin laughs at your reaction

“How do you know Yoongi? Are you a friend of his?”

How do you explain your infatuation with Yoongi

“Well not friends exactly,,,I’d like to be his friend! He helped me yesterday and we just kind of hit it off ya know?” 

Jimin wiggles his eyebrows at you

“Ooooh hit it off huh?”

Your face immediately flushes pink 

“No no no not like hit it off in a romantic sense!! Like platonically!! Buddies! Pals! I mean I do think he’s cute but it’s just friendly conversation, we’re amigos even!”

“So you think he’s cute?”

“Yes but that’s not the point I’m trying to make right now!”

Jimin giggles at your panicked response

“It’s okay calm down I’m not trying to give you a heart attack.” He says through his laughter

Phew okay he doesn’t think it’s weird

“I’ll put in a good word with your so called ‘amigo’ about you.” 

He shoots you a wink and you give him a shy smile along with a quiet “Thank you”

You passed the time by eating your ice cream and scrolling through your phone

Something about Yoongi gave you butterflies in you stomach that you were currently trying to control

You continued to scroll on your phone trying to find interesting articles to pass the time

Oooh top ten smartest animals!

You quickly became engrossed with the article that ranged from poodles to dolphins, cooing at the cute pictures of animals

Meanwhile, Yoongi enters the parlor from the back entrance and changes into his apron

Tying it around his neck, he peeked through the little window on the break room door

Damn it looked busier than normal, his arms are gonna be so tired

He pouted a little, scanning the tables when his eyes landed on the counter

Holy shit

It was you!!!

You were sitting at the counter in all your glory!!

You’re wearing your hair different than last time, it’s cute uwu 

Okay Yoongi collect yourself, you need a plan to approach her calmly

Just go up to her and start talking like you did last time, the conversation flowed so naturally it can’t be that hard

Taking a deep breathe, he burst through the door 

…a little too enthusiastically causing you to glance up from your phone

Oh shit abort mission

You had the brightest most gorgeous eyes, so full of hope and wonder

Damn it now he’s just staring at you, speak Yoongi speak

“Hi.”

You blinked at him owlishly 

“Hello.”

“It’s you.”

“…it is me.” You blinked again.

He gulped a little

You made him so nervous!!

“…h-hi.”

You tried to suppress a small grin forming on your face as you watched him fumble for his words

Okay so you aren’t the only nervous one here

“I thought we had already gotten through our greetings?”

He smiled a little at your sarcastic comment

“That we did, you are correct.”

You smiled at him fully, and reached a hand out to him

“I never introduced myself, I’m y/n.”

He stared at your hand a bit before taking it in his own and giving it a little shake.

“I’m Yoongi.”

“I know.”

“You know?”

You pulled your hand away, which made him a little :(((, and pointed at his name tag

Oh

Duh

He fidgeted a little before asking, “Can I get you anything?”

You looked down at your ice cream, “Jimin helped me already.”

Oh yeah he wasn’t the only one working 

“But I would enjoy some company if you have the chance?”

Apparently you were feeling extra bold today

He glanced back at Jimin at the register and found him staring back at him

He winked and nodded his head, he could handle the shop alone for a bit

And if Yoongi had a possibility to get a girlfriend he would gladly run the shop alone whenever asked

Maybe Yoongi getting laid once in a while would make him less grumpy, Jimin chuckled to himself

Your conversation flowed, hopping from topic to topic with easy laughter mixed in

You showed him the article on the world’s smartest animals and showed him the video attached to it

It was Koko the gorilla you couldn’t NOT show him!

Yoongi spent most of his time watching your reactions to the video instead of watching it himself whoops

You talked for what felt like hours when in reality it was only 30 minutes

“Yoongi I hate to break it to you but it’s time for my lunch break so I need you to sling ice cream for a bit.”

Yoongi looked at you with a little disappointment 

You were having such a good conversation:((( he didn’t want to go back to slinging ice cream :(((

“Don’t worry I’ll still be here when your done.”

He smiled at that, perfectly content to do his job if you were waiting for him

You watched him as he works, smiling at the way he would talk to little kids when they came in with their parents 

He was so sweet to them, giving his little gummy smile and asking what they wanted

Your phone buzzes from your pocket 

A text message from your best friend

Girls night starting in 10, you coming?

Damn you completely forgot about girls night 

Yup! I’ll be there in five!

You catch Yoongi’s eye, frowning at him and telling him you have to leave, “Girls night awaits, can’t miss it.”

Yoongi nods, a tiny frown threatening to break out on his face

“I’ll be back, when do you work next.”

He looked back up at you, “tomorrow, 12:30-3:00.”

You smiled widely, “I’ll be there, see you tomorrow.”

You kept your promise, showing up to Scoopies only a little hungover from girls night 

And you continued to show up to Scoopies a few days out of the week

You restricted yourself to only three cause you did have other things to do and you’ve been wasting a lot of money on ice cream

Eventually you learned the cycle of workers and who worked what shifts

There was Jimin, who mainly worked the afternoon shifts with Yoongi

Jungkook, who worked mornings before Yoongi and Jimin got there, sometimes sticking around for an afternoon shift if they were really busy

And Namjoon and Hoseok, who took the night shift + closing

You really enjoyed your visits to Scoopies, everyone was kind and charming and it was cold in there giving you an escape from summer heat

But you were upset 

Your relationship with Yoongi wasn’t progressing outside of your little chats inside the parlor

You wanted more, to see him outside of his job

and also be outside the parlor so the temptation of buying ice cream almost every day wouldn’t be a problem

It was currently 2:15 and you were working up the nerve to ask Yoongi out

You even gave yourself a little pep talk on the way here to hype yourself up

It’s spooky, rejection is scary

Okay you just gotta do it, balls to the wall, all out boi

You cleared your throat

“Hey Yoongi, what time do you get off?”

He replied to you while he scooped ice cream, “Like in an hour, why?”

“Wanna walk me home when you’re done?”

Yoongi froze for a sec

You wanted him to walk you home??? Like just the two of you??? And you were willing to wait??

He furrowed his eyebrows, “an hours a pretty long time, are you sure you want to wait?”

“Of course! I brought some books to keep me entertained while I wait. And it’s much cooler here than it is at my apartment.”

“You brought books? Were you planning on waiting for me today?”

You flushed bright red 

He caught you red handed >:(

“Nonononono nothing like that I just bring them everywhere. You see I get really bored really easily so I bring them to keep my attention on something ya know it just a habit now like I put them in my bag when I go anywhere cause ya know I don’t want to annoy people around me when I get kind of bored cause like-“

Yoongi smirked as he listened to you ramble on

“Y/n, that was a joke. Don’t freak out on me.”

You open and close your mouth a few times

You probably looked like a fish

“Oh a joke. Ha ha okay that makes sense.” 

You scratch your head nervously and grab a book, opening to a random page so you could focus on something that wasn’t Yoongis teasing stare

Your nervous glancing around the page quickly morphed into fixated reading as you became more invested in the story line 

You always felt that reading was a very good way to pass time, getting lost in a world that wasn’t yours

You changed positions on your stool multiple times while reading: sitting cross legged, kneeling, crossing your legs, resting your head on the counter, it was a habit

Yoongi noticed every time you shifted, smiling to himself

When you read you were still energetic and responsive 

An hour passed by and Yoongi went into the back room to change

As he climbed the mountain, he heard the shrieks and groans of the creatures in the forest. He wasn’t alone out there, there were millions of-

A tap on your shoulder startles you

“Oops sorry, should’ve given you a warning. Ready to go?”

You pack your books and hop of the stool with a “yup!”

The two of you exit the parlor 

You walk a block in silence 

This is weird, neither of you are talking

“What are“ “What do you-“ both of you say at the same time.

You laugh a little, “you go first.”

He clears his throat, “What are some of your hobbies? Besides reading obviously.”

“Well, I like writing, um painting is pretty fun too! I like to go to the beach and people watch sometimes.”

 He chuckles, “why people watching?”

“It’s really interesting, when I people watch I realize ‘woah I’m not the only person in the world who has a life and good friends and aspirations and stuff’. It’s out of body and humbling. Oh it’s also really funny to watch people who buy soft pretzels get attacked by seagulls.”

Wow

You were philosophical AND cute

A total dreamboat if you ask Yoongi

“Yeah, I get what you mean. I do that at work sometimes.”

“So what do you do when you’re not scooping ice cream?”

Yoongi stuck his hands in his pockets and looked down, “oh I sometimes compose music. I really like playing the piano too.”

Your expression brightens, “You have to let me listen sometime! I mean, only if your comfortable sharing of course, I don’t wanna make you do anything you don’t want to.”

He glances at you threw his bangs, “I think that’s a pretty good idea, I’ve already had my friends listen to it a bunch so I need some new ears to test it on.”

In no time, you arrive at your apartment complex

“Can I-“ “Is it okay-“

You roll your eyes playfully, “we have got to stop doing that it’s so cheesy

Yoongi nods and smiles “I totally agree. I went first last time so it’s your turn now.”

Okay now here’s the true test of your bravery

You’ve been preparing yourself to do this almost everyday and here’s your shot

“Can I get your number, maybe?”

There it is, your shooting your shot once more

“Oh yeah, yeah for sure. Here, gimme your phone.”

You hand him your phone and he diligently types in the numbers

“I’ll see you soon y/n.”

SWOON YOU GOT YOONGI’S NUMBER

You shoot him a text as soon as you step inside your apartment, Hey this is y/n!

Oof was the exclamation point to much?

You place your phone on the kitchen counter, too nervous to hold onto it and wait for a reply

The fridge looks very tempting and you tummy rumbles for real food

You only had breakfast and ice cream today oops

Bending over, you glance at the assortment of food

Strawberries, peppers, leftover pizza, grilled chicken-

Buzz buzz

You launch yourself into a standing position

You also subsequently hit your head on the freezer section above your fridge 

Ouchy that one stings

Grabbing your phone you check the notification

Hey it’s Yoongi ʕ·ᴥ·ʔ

Did you get a concussion from banging your head too hard? Cause Min Yoongi does not seem like the type of guy to send emotions 

Little did you know Yoongi was pacing his room wondering if the emoticon was a bad choice to send with his first text

You smile and type your reply

Hi there (〃￣ω￣〃)

To say the least, you two texted each other almost everyday, sometimes talking absolute nonsense that wouldn’t make sense to anyone else

Do you think dogs in different countries have different accents when they bark?

Y/n, go to sleep it’s 2:00 a.m

It’s a serious question （；へ：）

Or it was deep philosophical questions that neither of you really had the answer to

Is it worth understanding everything about our universe and planet if we don’t know why we were put on earth in the first place?

Holy shit y/n I don’t know, please go back to talking about dogs before I have an existential crisis 

You also continued your walks home together, it was nice cause Yoongi only lived a few blocks away from you

The two of you discovered different layers of the other’s personality 

Yoongi was goofy, like goofier than you expected

You’ve caught him dancing by himself in the parlors kitchen multiple and even when he sees you he doesn’t shy away, trying to drag you to dance with him

He was also a very sleepy boi, staying up too late to finish a song or practice piano :(((

And you’re always like get rest you goofball take care of yourself, but you secretly enjoy the little pout that takes over his face and half closed eyes when he’s close to drifting off during breaks

You also adoringly dubbed his break time as ‘nap time for the baby’

Yoongi already knew you were energetic but he didn’t know just how far your energy went

On the very rare night that Jimin and Yoongi would be stuck with closing, you’d stay around and help clean up

Loud music blasted in the parlor, thanks to your phone hooked up to the speakers and you were bouncing around the shop, cleaning fast with a big smile on your face

He thinks that’s the fastest Scoopies has ever been closed

And you were a deep thinker! Yoongi liked to listen to how you interpret different things and how you problem solved

Speaking of problems

It was Friday and you hadn’t been able to visit Scoopies 

Today was cleaning day and you had scrubbed your entire apartment top to bottom until it shined

Yoongi said the parlor was too busy anyway, you wouldn’t have had time to sit down and talk

Plus he went to a movie with Jimin and Jungkook after his shift so he couldn’t have walked you home either

You were currently in your pajamas (even though it was only like,,,6:45) and dancing around your kitchen while cooking up some dinner

Your music cut out slightly as your phone buzzed

Yoongi!

Hey, what are your plans for tomorrow? 

Besides showering, literally nothing

Wanna grab lunch and hang out at mine? Or something?

BROOOO

WAS THIS ACTUALLY HAPPENING 

Your fingers fidget to text a reply and your heart is pounding in your ears 

The sound of you thumbs tapping on the screen seem louder than usual

Yeah I would love to!

Yoongi gasps as he reads your response

Wow

He didn’t think this would actually work

Woah you actually said yes, this is incredible

His smile grows as he texts you back

Cool! How does 12:30 sound? ୧⍢⃝୨

Sounds perfect Yoongs ۹(˒௰˓)۶

You turned your music up louder and danced harder around your kitchen 

You ate quickly and watched a little tv, checking the time every now and then

Gotta get to bed early tonight so you actually wake up at a reasonable time to get ready tomorrow, oversleeping is a horrible habit 

It was a little difficult trying to sleep since you were practically vibrating with excitement but eventually drift off into dreamland

You wake up to your alarm going off and instinctively hit snooze

Close your eyes for three more minutes

….

They shoot back open and you practically bounce out of bed

It’s showtime baby!!!

Your music is bumping as you slide into the shower, singing and dancing while getting clean

Scrub a dub dub bitch

Styling you hair, you find yourself putting a little more effort in that usual

That goes for your makeup too

It feels like one of those montages from a 90s movie of a girl getting ready to go on a date with her dream guy

Except it was really happening to you!!!

You skip to your closet to pick out an outfit

That’s when you nerves decide to hit you right then and there 

Was this a date?

Was there like a certain dress code for where you were going?

Were any of your good shirts clean?

IS THIS A DATE?

You throw around multiple outfits, a cute top with jeans, a cute top with jean shorts, a romper, a dress

Was the dress too much?

The intercom buzzes and you rush to answer

TOO LATE TO CHANGE YOUR OUTFIT NOW YOU GOTTA GO

The elevator ride down seemed excruciatingly long for some reason and you basically bolt out of it when you reach the main floor

Yoongi is waiting outside the glass doors, scrolling through his phone

Woah

Where did your sweet little ice cream boy go?

He was in ripped jeans and a black tee, he had a few rings on his fingers, his hair wasn’t as tousled, it looked well styled and-

Are those earrings?

This is love, you’re in love

He spots you through the door and waves and you realize you’ve been standing there like an idiot for too long

“Hey you.”

Wow, your mind, such a great greeting

“Hi, cute dress.”

Nailed it on the outfit, mental high five for that

You guys walk to a small cafe a few blocks away

Lunch goes swimmingly and your meal is super yummy

Your feet keep bumping Yoongis under the table but he doesn’t seem to mind so you keep letting them brush up against his every once in a while

“So since when have you had your ears pierced?”

He rubs the back of his neck, “I got them when I was 16, but I’m not allowed to wear any earrings at work due to dress code policy. Why, do you not like them?”

“No I like them a lot actually, they make you look pretty handsome.”

Oh dang you got him blushing big time now 

Yoongi kicks you foot a little underneath the table in retaliation for making him flustered

You giggle and kick him back

This starts an all out kick war between the two of you, both trying to make the other surrender

Too bad you were wearing open toed shoes

“Ow ow ow okay I give in you win, you win Yoongi.”

He folds his arms with a smug look on his face while you pout 

“You’re mean Yoongi, you hurt me.” 

“You started it.”

“What? I gave you a compliment and you hit me! I want an apology.” :(

Your cheeks are all puffed out and you leaning against your hands and you’re so FREAKING CUTE HE HAS TO APOLOGIZE IMMEDIATELY

Literally the embodiment of (๑•́ ₃ •̀๑), he had to apologize 

Grabbing your hands away from your face, he takes them in his and gives them a squeeze 

“I’m sorry I hurt your precious little feet, will you ever forgive me?”

He presses your hands to his own cheeks

SKREEEEE

Your honestly frozen and don’t know how to react

HES USUALLY NOT THIS CUTE WHAT DO YOU DO

Clearing your throat a little you try and put together a sentence that would make some sort of sense

“I guess I can find it in my gracious heart to forgive this one time.”

Wow that was more put together than usual

He gave a little smile before patting your hands and telling you it’s time to go

GO TO HIS HUMBLE ABODE (∩╹□╹∩)

You were extremely excited to see what his house was like

Being in people’s homes reveals like thousands of more layers of themself and you were so happy that Yoongi trusted you enough to show you (｡･･｡)

Yoongi unlocks his door and ushers you inside

The main room is beautiful 

Large windows with white curtains, black sofa and armchair, a tv and the jewel herself

A beautiful black piano in the corner of the room

The whole aesthetic was very minimalist but very Yoongi

“Do you want anything to drink?”

“…do you have any juice?”

Once you get your glass of apple juice and Yoongi has his (boring) water, you two sit on the couch and just talk

It’s not often that you find someone that can speak to you so easily

It’s a nice kind of feeling not gonna lie

Your eyes keep wandering back to the piano 

“Can you play me something?”

He followed your eyes to the piano 

“Oh uh yeah sure, sure I can.” 

Why is he so nervous he’s been playing the piano since he was a little kid

This isn’t any different

He scooched over so you could sit next to him on the bench

While Yoongi played you were mesmerized 

His fingers drifted across the keys gently and played radiant luxurious melodies

You closed your eyes as you listened, the song making a world bloom in your mind

It was absolutely one of the most beautiful things you’ve heard 

His arms would brush up against yours and your stomach when he had to reach a key on the higher register

It gave you goosebumps and butterflies if you’re being honest

When the song finished, the room reverberated the last chord until it was silent again

“Wow.” 

You couldn’t put your feelings into words, it was incredible how the song moved you

Eyes peeling back open, you moved to look at Yoongi

Woah

He was a lot closer than you remember 

Your noses were almost touching and you could feel his breath on your cheeks 

He glanced from you eyes to your lips in a silent ask for permission 

You did the same

You were about to kiss Min Yoongi

YOU WERE ABOUT TO KISS MIN YOONGI

Ring ring! Ring ring! RING RING!

Your phone is incredibly loud in the quiet room 

Looking down at said phone in your hand, the caller idea flashes up at you angrily

Mom!

Shoot you really should take this, your mom barely calls so when she does she gets very upset when you don’t answer

You move out of the intimate position, mumbling “sorry it’s my mom I gotta answer”

“Oh yeah, um you can step outside if you want.”

“Thanks.”

Dang it dang it dang it dang it

You were so freaking close to getting a smooch

Apparently your mom wanted to come over to your apartment and have dinner

Meanwhile Yoongi has not left the piano bench since you got up

Your face was so close to his only moments ago and it replays in his head over and over

He tried to memorize every little feature of your face before he kissed you

More like tried to kiss you

“Yoongi?” Your head pops in the door

“Yeah what’s up?” 

You walk toward the bench and sit back down next to him

“My moms coming over for dinner so I have to go back home and get prepped.”

His shoulders drop and he caves in on himself a bit

“Oh okay, can I walk you home?”

“Actually I was wondering if you wanted to help me? If that’s okay?”

It is WAY more than okay with Yoongi

The air between you is a little thick with tension on the way to yours

Thicc

Thiqué

But the mood lightens when you ask Yoongi about his cooking skills

“I’m going to be completely honest with you, it’s definitely not my forte.”

“Alright I’m putting you on mincing and DJ duty, please be careful with the knife.”

The elevator ride was filled with laughter and snorts (Yoongi did it a few times but he swears it was you)

You decide to make black beans with peppers and rice

Yoongi does a really good job as DJ

As the water boils for the beans and rice, you two are running around your kitchen and dancing and singing with each other 

A dramatic rendition of Endless Love by Lionel Richie and Diana Ross happens, naturally 

Half way through your duet, there’s a knock on the door

Shoooot, moms here and Yoongi is too

That means she’s going to want to meet him and ask him for his entire life story right then and there

The door swings open and there she is in all her glory

“My cutie!!!”

You greet her with a hug and a kiss on the cheek

“Hi mama, how are you?”

“Oh I’m just gr-“

She already spotted Yoongi standing behind you, his hands tucked in his pockets and shifting his weight nervously

“Y/n! You didn’t tell me you had a boyfriend!”

“WHAT? Oh no no mom this is Yoongi, my friend from the ice cream shop remember!”

She looked him up and down

Yoongi literally shrunk under her stare

For someone smaller than him, she was wildly intimidating 

Also finally, there was someone smaller than him

Lol got ‘em again

She gave him one more once over before leaning over to you and saying

“You right he is a cutie pie, even cuter in person I think!”

“OKAY MOM SO GLAD YOU MET YOONGI I’M GONNA TAKE HIM DOWNSTAIRS AND SHOW HIM OUT!”

Yoongi’s laughter bounced off the walls as you all but pushed him out the door

“It was great meeting you Mrs. y/l/n! Hope to see you soon!”

“KEEP IT MOVING YOONGS.”

The elevator ride was silent

You kept staring at your shoes, moving you feet

Putting the right one forward and pulling it back

Moving the left one forward and then pulling it back

In a cycle

A black boot nudged your right foot before you had the chance to pull it back again

“You okay?”

You looked up at Yoongi, his eyebrows drawn in with genuine concern

Daw, he’s worried :(

A small smile finds its way into your face

“Yeah I am. Sorry about my mom back there, she’s pretty forward when it comes to…well everything.”

He laughed, “Yeah, I kinda picked up on that. But it’s okay, I liked her a lot.”

You snorted, “Of course you liked her, she complimented you and completely embarrassed me. That’s like two of your favorite things.”

“you know you’re not wrong about that.” And he nudges your shoulder with his

The contact sent a little shock of electricity through you but you’ll never admit it

Over your dead body >:(

You stick your tongue out at him and cross your arms

“I don’t deserve to be bullied by you and my own mother.”

The elevator was wrapped in comfortable silence for a while until Yoongi decided to break it with the most idiotic question

“Soooo, I’m cuter in person?”

Ding! The elevator reaches the main doors and you shove yoongi out of them

“Get out of here you dork!”

“What no goodbye hug?”

You step out after him

It’s time to be bold again y/n

Grabbing him by the shoulders, you plant a phat kiss on his cheek

Like not like a quick little peck, a pretty sizable kiss

Your pretty sure you can see a lip print on his cheek from what was left of your lipstick and gloss when you pull away

“Bye Yoongi.”

You walk into the elevator and the doors close behind you

And yoongi is just left there with this dopey look on his face as he places his hand over his cheek 

His face feels warm and he’s certain he is flushed bright red but can’t find it in himself to care

You kissed him!!

Well, not exactly KISSED him kissed him but your lips made contact with his skin

He stumbles out the door and all the way with a grin plastered on his face

All the while in the elevator, your pumping your fists up and down and celebrating your success

You kissed him and left him a big flustered mess without becoming one yourself until you got in the elevator 

You left him shook

And duh, you told your mom what happened during dinner and she gave you a high five

“So when’s the wedding?”

You choke on your food, “MOM.”

“What? It’s just a simple question!”

When Monday rolled around, you found yourself very nervous as you took your usual route to Scoopies 

You and Yoongi haven’t texted each other a bunch since you decided to send him home with a kiss on the cheek

Thinking about it makes you blush and your hands fidget in your shorts pockets with nervous energy 

You didn’t really know what you and Yoongi were???

You were obviously interested in him duh, and he seemed kinda interested in you too but you didn’t know if either of you had the balls to do anything about it

It was this weird kind of like being stuck in limbo

Oh yeah limbo reminds you that you should invite Yoongs over to watch Inception some time

Honestly an incredible movie

With Yoongi and a possible movie date on the brain, you walk into Scoopies 

Jimin greets you at the register with a blinding smile and you give one back

“Cookie dough or strawberry today?”

“Hmm good question. Let’s go with strawberry.”

He scoops your ice cream while you look around the shop for a certain boy

That’s weird??? Why is Jimin working alone?? Usually Yoongi and even sometimes Jungkook is with him

You reach for your wallet when Jimin stops you

“This one is on the house, and don’t try to change my mind.”

Narrowing your eyes at him, you question “what’s the occasion?”

“Just trying to make you as happy as you made ‘Yoongs’ this weekend.”

You blink a few times before smiling and grabbing your ice cream

“Thanks Jimin.”

The seat at the counter was now your acclaimed spot and you took a load off there

More customers came and went but there was still no sign of Yoongi

You didn’t want to bother Jimin while he was working so you decided to just wait and see if he shows up 

“Look, I know you’ve been wanting to ask me where he is for like, the past 30 minutes. Yoongi’s in the kitchen with Jungkook, feel free to go back there.” He nods over his shoulder at the break room door

You immediately perk up, “You’re the best Jimin, I’ll be right back.”

You walk through the door and were about to go into the kitchen when you heard Yoongi’s voice 

“I just don’t know what to do about y/n man.”

Uh oh, what

You peek through the little window and see Yoongi sitting on one of the counters while talking to Jungkook who’s leaning against the freezer door

Aww how cute Yoongi’s feet barely touch the ground

Wait not what you should be focusing on right now

“I’m just so confused, I took her to lunch on Saturday and I thought it was going well but when we got back to my house, I tried to kiss her but she left the room to take a call right before I could.”

He pouted

You also pouted

Did Yoongi take that as a sign of rejection?? 

You honestly really needed to answer your phone but you understand how that could look bad to someone who was trying to smooch you

“But didn’t she also kiss you on the cheek when you left? That’s a good sign, right?” 

“But does that mean she’s not comfortable with actually kissing me? Would she want to kiss me?”

Jungkook leaned against the freezer in thought 

He looked toward the door

And locked eyes with you

You froze completely, you were just caught spying

A plan hatched in Jungkook’s brain

“Why don’t you ask her now?”

“What?” Jungkook nodded toward the door

Yoongi’s eyes also locked with yours and you try to lamely duck down like he didn’t just catch you

Jungkooks work here is done 

He walks out the kitchen door, kicking you a little and urging you to walk in and talk to Yoongles

You stand up and try to gather yourself

Well as much as you could right now

Taking a deep breath, you pushed the door open

Yoongi hadn’t moved an inch from his position on the counter

…

…….

Neither of you talked for the first minute

“I’m so-“ “Did I-“

Oh how old habits die hard

You cough a little then say, “I went first last time so it’s your turn.”

He smiled a little at that and breathed in deep before beginning

“Did I-did I freak you out when I tried to kiss you? Cause that really wasn’t my intent, I just thought I was reading the situation right and that you were as into it as I was and when you didn’t text me over the weekend it kind of freaked me out. I thought that I had somehow messed it up. To be honest with you, this is the first time I’ve liked a girl like this in a pretty long time so I just don’t-“

His sentence is cut off by the feeling of your hands grabbing him by the back of the neck and pulling his lips onto yours 

Oh

Oh this is nice

You slotted yourself in between his legs and slide your hand over to place it on his cheek

 But Yoongi isn’t really responding

in his shock he just kind of sits there unmoving

It isn’t until you start to pull away that he realizes that oh he can’t just sit there and be kissed, he has to kiss back

His hands cup your jaw as he leans down more, deepening the kiss

This is nice 

This is really nice

The nicest kiss he’s had in a long time

Yoongi thinks he could kiss you for hours if you’d let him

God he’s already addicted and it’s only your guys first kiss

You tasted like strawberries and he could smell your sweet perfume

His fingers thread through your hair at the back of your neck and you almost moan from the feeling

Your hands run down his chest and fall to his thighs, running them up and down

Okay this is getting a little too spicy for a work environment 

You pull away tentatively, eyes still closed as you catch your breath

“Does that answer your question?”

Yoongi takes a good look at you

out of breath with shiny red lips and half open eyes

Your pretty little eyes

“Yes it does, besides the texting thing, why didn’t you text me?”

“Hey I made the last move on our date, that was on you to follow up.”

He laughed, “you’re right you’re right” and leaned his forehead against yours

You two catch your breath for a bit, just drinking in the others appearance 

“So what does this mean for us?” Yoongi asks

“I was hoping it would mean that you’d be my boyfriend.”

Yoongi hums in fake contemplation before answering

“I think I like the sound of that, of course only if you’d be okay with being my girlfriend?”

“I guarantee, I am way more than okay with that.”

A bang on the door scares the hell out of you

“Hey lovebirds, I’m glad you two finally got together but the summer school rush is about to come in and we need all hands on deck, so wrap it up!”

Jimin gives you a thumbs up through the window as he walks away

Yoongi hops off the counter, “Sorry babe, duty calls.”

“Ooooh we’re already using pet names and haven’t even been dating for five minutes.”

Yoongi rolls his eyes, “I hate you sometimes.”

You gasp and follow him out of the kitchen

“How dare you say that to your ‘babe’. I am deeply wounded.”

“Oh my god y/n.”

“You know, I was always more of a ‘sweetheart’ or a ‘baby’ type of girl.”

“I already regret agreeing to be your boyfriend.”

“I’m even okay with the occasional ‘honey’ here and there.”

Yoongi stops causing you to collide with his back

Ouch that kinda hurt your nose

You glare at Yoongi as he turns back around and you’re about to yell at him when he places the softest little kith on your lips

“We can continue this conversation when I’m finished with work…honey.”

Oh yeah you liked that one a lot

Unsurprisingly, not much changes in the dynamic of your relationship with Yoongi

Besides the added bonus that you get to kiss him any time you really feel like it

But he’s still an annoying (yet sometimes really shy even though he denies it) dork

And you’re still the energetic, book loving, attention grabbing girl he met way way back

 Speaking of books

Yoongi isn’t a very jealous person

He trusts you 

He is very comfortable with your relationship dynamics 

He doesn’t mind when you give your attention to the other people cause you are a human being 

So when he finds himself pouting while sitting on your couch while you read, he’s a little upset

You’ve been reading for HOURS now and haven’t been talking with him 

And, call him selfish, he wants some attention and some kisses okay?

He baby

“Y/n.”

A few seconds pass by before you answer with an uninterested “hm?”

“…pay attention to me.”

“Hm?”

He groaned, “Pay attention to me, I need some affection and I’ve been deprived of it for hours.”

You glance toward him and see a prominent pout on Yoongi’s face and oh no

He’s using his puppy dog eyes

Literally no human alive can resist those

It’s scientifically impossible 

But you just got to a really good part in your book and don’t want to stop just yet

You extend a hand toward him

“What am I supposed to do with this?”

“Um,,,hold it??? You big dummy???”

He takes a hold of your hand

And subsequently YANKS you toward him with NO warning what so ever

No joke, he’s a lot stronger than you thought but that also kind of hurt 

He adjusts you so your back is leaning against his chest and he has his arms wrapped around your shoulder and you kind of flush pink cause even though he was a little AGGRESSIVE  getting you into this position 

It’s really cute and romantic 

“Can I get one kiss before you go back to reading?”

You give him a little smooch and then turn back to your book 

He occasionally plants a kiss on the top of your head and plays with your hair

And even though it’s a little distracting (because who wouldn’t be distracted by the most beautiful man in the world giving you love) and you have to reread the same paragraph like seven times,

You love the domestic feeling the entire situation gives you

It makes your chest warm and paints the biggest smile on your face

He pushes your hair to the side and places a kiss behind your ear

OKAY THAT’S IT

YOU IMMEDIATELY NEED TO KISS YOUR LOVELY BOYFRIEND 

You practically throw the book onto the opposite side of the couch and climb onto Yoongi’s lap

And he’s like ‘woah woah what is happening, I mean I’m not mad about it but what is happening.’

And your domestic reading session turns into a makeout session real fast 

After like,,,15 minutes you neck is littered with marks and you probably have little bruises on your hips from how tiGHT yoongi was gripping on

You pull away to catch your breath and just admire Yoongi

“Hi there.”

“Hi.” He smiles he’s CUTE ASS gummy smile

And you press your forehead against his and just twirl his hair in you fingers and it’s just a blissful moment

“Soooo, do you wanna keep making out?”

God he’s an idiot 

But you go back to making out anyway

You end up riding him on the couch and I oop-

You thought he couldn’t get any pretty but you were so wrong

He looks ethereal falling apart underneath you and small moans fall from his swollen lips and it’s just perfect 

“Fuck, I love you.”

Oh shit maybe you shouldn’t have said that

You stop all movement

“You love me?”

Oh god

He sounds so vulnerable and quivering 

Partly because he was just about to bust the fattest nut lol

But also you loved him back

“I mean yeah,,,I love you.”

“I love you too.”

 By the time you’re finished you swear you could pass out

Yoongi really had his way with you lol

On the occasional visit that you make to Yoongi’s house, you beg him to play the piano for you

Usually he’s persuaded by a few smooches and plays 

You sit on the armchair close to the piano and watch 

He always gets so into it, you can tell that music means a lot to him

When you know a song he’s playing you hum along to yourself, making sure he can’t hear

That doesn’t last for long 

Yoongi is in the middle of playing when he notices 

Are you??

Are you singing along??

His hands stop moving and he turns to look at you

“Are you singing the song I’m playing?”

“Psssh whaaat? No, who would do that? I think you’re hearing things.”

“No I definitely heard you.”

“Maybe you should schedule a doctors appointment, there might be something wrong with your ears.”

He sighs

Fine

Two can play at that game

“I’m not playing until you come over here and sing to me.”

Damn it

Damn it you didn’t want to sing but you really wanted him to play 

“Promise you won’t make fun of me?”

His eyes soften as he hears your meek little reply

“Of course not.”

You end up caving and standing next to the piano and singing

And Yoongi looks at you like you had created the universe, full of love 

Daw you’re blushing 

You’re not the only one in the relationship that appreciates the others talent

“Yoongi I already told you a thousand times, I mostly paint landscapes and not people. If I tried it would probably come out all wonky.”

“Pleaassee, can you just try? I promise I’ll love it even if it’s ugly.”

“HEY.”

“Which it won’t be!!” He pulls his chair so he’s sitting across from you

“Have at it Picasso, draw me like one of your French girls.”

You snort, “that was disgusting.”

You grab a mini canvas and some paint 

Here goes nothing

You can’t deny it, you liked staring at yoongi for an hour while you drew and painted

He was quite the looker

Damn you got lucky

And Yoongi liked watching you while you painted

Your brows furrow and your lips purse, you were so concentrated 

Ugh the cutest

After an hour you place you brushes down 

“Okay, it’s done.”

You slowly hand the painting over to him

It’s nerve wracking

You know he’ll say he loves it but will he actually???

A slightly cartoonish but beautiful version of himself stares up at him

It was amazing

Truly it was

“I love it.”

And you could tell he was being sincere about it

Of course you still visited Scoopies, honestly more often than you used to

You still sat at the same stool and kept casual conversation with Yoongi while he worked

But the break room

That’s where shit went down

It was kind of like your designated makeout spot

Since only two or three people worked at a time, no one’s breaks lined up so you had the room alone >:)))

Oh the sexual escapades that room has seen

You were currently sat on the table while Yoongi stood between your legs 

And his hands were slowly creeping in closer on your thighs

Oh ho hooo boi

It was getting hot in here 

Your hands roam his chest and find their way back into his hair

Giving it a little tug, Yoongi lets out a moan into your mouth

His hands run up your back and start to unclasp your bra

“You guys are literally feral oh my god try and keep it in your pants.”

You don’t see Jimin’s face but you see his hair bob into the kitchen and toward the freezer

Whoops

You start giggling and that sets Yoongi off too

You’re eventually crying with laughter and  leaning into Yoongi’s neck trying to calm down

Sometimes you think about the future

And it’s a terrifying thing

Summer can’t last forever you know that

Eventually you’ll have to go back to classes at uni

Even though your universities are only 20 minutes away, you afraid about how much time school will take up

With tests

And finals

And projects

And presentations and finding actual stable jobs for both of you

Yoongi grabs your hand without even looking away from the movie your watching

He chose Ratatouille

A man with taste

It’s like he read your mind 

He could practically feel the anxiety radiating off your body and he understood 

He pulls you in, tucking you underneath his arm and pressing a delicate kiss to your cheek

“Hey.” You glance up at him and respond, “Hi.”

“Did you know I love you?”

Your heart stutters every time you hear him say those simple words

“Yes I do. Did you know I love you back?”

He kisses your temple and whispers in your ear, “I do. Always remember that I love you okay?”

Scoopies feels like a second home now as you walk through the familiar double doors 

You wave at Jimin and he gives you a smile and a nod as he finishes cleaning the display

You plop down on your stool

Two scoops of strawberry ice cream slide in front of you

Yoongi smiles at you, “It cost two kisses, three of your feeling generous and want to tip.”

And you were definitely feeling generous 

Yoongi has to walk to the bathroom and wipe off the lipstick marks that covered his cheeks and neck

Oops ヽ(ヅ)ノ

[the-zodiacs-written-in-the-stars]

Chapter 21: Carry & Sunny

Sunny liked the way Joss' messed-up hair framed their face. Joss only wore it open when presenting female; it was the biggest cue Joss had given. Clothes may vary on how they felt, Joss generally preferred pants and suits so that wasn't much to work with and not every day Joss felt female, Joss also had the energy or mind to put on make-up or such. For Joss personally, hair was an important issue. It had always been an important part for her to feel it frame her face, falling loose, play with the slight curls she would get if not straightened, while during his time thinking he was trans, he had found it empowering to shave it off. Either way, there was never a hair out of place with Joss though; Joss was quite the perfectionist overall. So to see it not just loose – which Sunny had seen a lot already – but messed-up and fluffed-up was... very endearing.

“Are you staring at me...?”, grunted Joss, voice gruff from sleep, dark eyes blinking open.

“Yes, I am. You're cute when you're sleeping”, hummed Sunny unapologetically. “Good morning.”

“Mornin'... coffee...?”, asked Joss hopefully.

“I don't drink that awful stuff and since I wasn't expecting you to stay over, I have none”, chimed Sunny, maybe a little more apologetic. “I make a mean hot chocolate though, if you'd like.”

“...Fine”, sighed Joss, sounding clearly disappointed.

The two of them had been on a relatively spontaneous date last night. They had gone dancing and afterward, tired and with Sunny's place closer, they had both gone there. Nothing had happened, Joss had even slept on the couch, being perfectly polite and a little flustered, but it was somehow still nice to wake up with Joss right there. While Sunny prepared breakfast, Joss disappeared into the bathroom. The whole time, Joss' phone was buzzing with new messages. Curious.

“Emergency at work?”, asked Sunny when Joss, with the phone in hand, walked in.

“No. It's... something else”, sighed Joss, running a hand through their hair.

Once they stood right beside Sunny, they kissed her softly on the cheek, making Sunny smile. Daisy, Sunny's very much beloved little terrier, was chirping and circling Joss in excitement. There was something Joss was hiding, but Sunny was content to wait until Joss was ready to share it.

“You know you could tell me, if you wanted”, offered Sunny, picking Daisy up and kissing her little forehead. “I'm a good listener, or so have I been told. And whatever it is, it seems to weigh on you.”

“...We're planning a jewelry heist and we can't seem to fully agree on the details.”

“I can't tell if that is a joke-answer or a metaphor or... oh you are literally planning a... what.”

Joss rubbed their face and sat down on a chair facing Sunny. “Literally. There is a... very valuable jewel that is... in the possession of someone who is not the rightful owner... to put it mildly.”

“So you're... stealing it back?”, asked Sunny intrigued.

“You could say that”, confirmed Joss, tapping their fingers against the table.

“Who's we?”, asked Sunny next, concern evident on her face. “I mean, a good heist needs a good team. Ocean's 8 is all I'm gonna say there.”

“It's... a good team, I suppose”, chuckled Joss softly. “But... I think it's better if you know as little as possible... just in case anything goes South. I don't want you involved in this.”

“Okay. Let's talk about something different then. When am I going to meet your friends? We should schedule that soon, because planning your birthday party with total strangers would be awkward.”

Joss made a face, while petting the very insistent Daisy with one hand. “You're really going to throw me a birthday party, aren't you...? I'm not much for parties, Savitri...”

“I know that. So let's not call it a party”, offered Sunny gently. “I just... You, me and your best friends. A small round. We could play... board-games and eat good food together, that's all.”

Joss grumbled softly and with a head-shake gave up. “I have to leave. I have to get home and get showered and changed before work. We'll talk later, okay?”

Sunny pouted, just a little bit, but she leaned in to kiss Joss gently before they left. Toward the end of her breakfast, her phone started buzzing. Her mug of hot chocolate in one hand, she reached for her phone with the other to check. She had been added to a group-chat, titled Joss' Birthday Not-Party. Joss had started the group-chat. And left it, after adding various numbers. Angelique Lamour, Sebastian Weinberg, Sander Hancock, Melanie Maguire, Elizabeth Liddell, Noxia Black, Alina Preston. For a not very social person, that was a rather impressive list.

Sunny recognized the names, having listened closely whenever Joss was telling her something personal. She knew Angel was Joss' best friend, they had met through work. Alina, Noxia and Elizabeth – Lizzy, Laureen's little sister – also worked with Joss. Sebastian, Sander and Melanie were part of Joss' book-club that Sunny was considering to join.

A small smile found its way onto Sunny's lips. She knew Joss acted grumpy but even Joss wanted to be surrounded by the people they loved on their birthday. Sunny hummed happily, before getting distracted by an incoming text from Joss on their private chat.

Hope you're happy now. NOTHING big though.

Sunny smiled to herself at that, but before she could type an answer another text came in. When is your birthday? You haven't told me yet.

That was right. Joss' only had come up because, well, it was coming up. October 8th. So you still have five months go go, no worries ;)

With her mood high, Sunny went about preparing herself for the day.

 ~*~

 Carroll Lewis was a woman with ambition. Her ambition had brought her where she was... and would bring her where she wanted to be. At the top. Being pulled into the Zodiac-nonsense was the best that could have happened to her; the power she now wielded.

If only her boss wouldn't have a personal agenda. Making these things personal was... never a good idea. This should be treated like business, because it was. They could make so much money with this, instead of playing cat and mouse with the goodies. It was going to end in a disaster, she could already tell. However, she was not being listened to.

When out of nowhere, she was suddenly wrapped up in vines in her own living room, she blamed that very not listening to for that. If they had just cleaned up and taken care of this earlier, then there would not be a merry band of heroes in her villa right now, leaving her – and her bodyguards – tied up in thick, sturdy vines. She gritted her teeth. Her reflexes were good, if she was expecting it.

“We're not going to hurt you. We just want Libra”, stated Sagittarius seriously.

Carroll rolled her eyes irritated. “So boring. Harming is half the fun.”

Leo approached her and took the brooch from her. She did wonder how they had figured out her secret identity. That was the problem. One could not take the jewel while actively bonded with the Zodiac and using the powers. And this had come too sudden for her to act.

“I'd like to pay you back for what you did to me”, whispered Leo, sounding bitter.

“Oh, bu-hu”, sighed Carroll bored. “I told Serpentarius I should just finish the job and take the jewel from your body, but she had... 'plans', whatever that means.”

“Who is Serpentarius?”, asked Taurus, pointing her golden lance at Carroll.

“You'd have to hurt me to get that out of me and you wouldn't”, snorted Carroll unimpressed.

“You're awfully... neutral on this whole situation”, observed Gemini with narrowed eyes.

“Libra is strong, yes. But there are so many constellations to choose from. Take this from me, I will not be powerless. I'll find out who you are and you'll regret this.”

The great heroes exchanged looks at that. All very dramatic, really. How annoying. At least with minions, they simply followed orders. This bunch, they were probably all 'democratic' and made decisions based on not harming others. Morals, such a hindrance. Though she was going to have some strong words with a certain snake-bearer about this mess. If they had done it Carroll's way, they would have at least half the Zodiacs already, instead of letting the 'heroes' get away with everything and for the main part just play around with them, waiting. Carroll was done waiting.

 ~*~

 Sunny was admittedly surprised to find Joss in front of her apartment when she got home. She had spent the past two days texting with Joss' friends about the birthday not-party and she felt like she could quite like them – especially Angel seemed like such a cheerful and delightful person.

“Did we have plans? Did I forget something?”, asked Sunny softly when being pulled into a kiss.

Joss was wearing his hair in a tight bun and, pressed up like this, Sunny could feel that today he was definitely binding. Two very clear indicators. He was also looking that very nicely cut vest that Sunny loved so much because it outlined his frame so nicely.

“I'm sorry I didn't contact you much since our last date”, whispered Joss.

“I assumed... you were busy with your... heist”, hummed Sunny and unlocked the door, leading Joss upstairs to the apartment. “I take it, everything went well, since I'm not visiting you in jail?”

“We stole a jewel from Carroll Lewis yesterday. Yes, the Carroll Lewis. It's... not just a jewel. You've been paying attention to the news too, right? The superheroes. There are jewels that bestow these kind of powers to humans. She... was using it for bad things so we took it back.”

“You... took it back...? What does that mean?”, whispered Sunny, trying to keep up.

Joss sighed and rubbed his cuff-links, just to be surrounded by a bright glow – and who remained was Gemini... one of the heroes that were all over the news. Sunny gasped and stepped back.

“I wanted to tell you, however I also did not want to get you... dragged into this”, admitted Joss.

“Then... Then why are you now?”, asked Sunny, eyebrows furrowed.

“You're a Libra. October 8th”, said Joss like that was in any way an explanation.

“...Is that supposed to mean anything...?”

“There is a lot I have to explain to you in detail, but the short of it is that... these Zodiacs can only bond with those born under their sign. As a Libra, you can bond with the jewel of Libra. Me and... my team... spent all of yesterday debating who to give it to and...”

“And you volunteered me?”, yelped Sunny, to equal parts flustered and shocked.

“You're the kindest, sweetest person I know, you would use it for good... and you would treat Libra right. He's... been abused by Carroll and above all else, he deserves to be treated right.”

His eyes fell onto Daisy there, peacefully sleeping on her pink little bed. Confused but intrigued, Sunny accepted the pink marble. It immediately started glowing and Sunny somewhat understood. A dog appeared, an all-pink dog with his tail between his legs. Carefully, Sunny sat down.

“Hello there, sweetie”, whispered Sunny gently. “It's okay. No one's going to hurt you. Are you hungry? I have some very good dog-treats here – Daisy can attest for that.”

Daisy stirred at the sound of her name, shaking her head which made the pink bow in her fur flop back and forth adorably. Curiously, she jumped out of her bed and went to sniff the new dog.

“...Treats?”, asked the pink dog, sounding unsure – and okay, the dog could talk.

With both eyebrows raised did Sunny regard Joss. “You owe me so many explanations there. But for now, please change out of that silly outfit. And you, little guy, get some treats.” Daisy yelped. “I'm sorry. The both of you are getting some treats.”

“Can I have treats too? Non-dog please”, requested Joss with the fondest smile.

“You. You are glad I am fond of you”, huffed Sunny, wagging a finger at Joss.

There was a sheepish look on Joss' face as he changed back to his regular outfit, though... an owl appeared next to him. A pretty black and white one. Sunny had so many questions.

Read here on AO3!

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[09yards]

6 - Colouring Outside the Lines (days gone by - nct)

Days Gone By masterlist | main masterlist

The remainder of August passed like nothing ever happened, school started up again far too quickly and maybe, just maybe, Mark would get his fresh start and life could go back to ‘normal’. But really, what is normal anymore? Between Renjun and Jaemin figuring out where they stand with one another, Hyuck pretending like everything’s okay and the brother Mark feels like he barely knows anymore, Mark feels too busy to get a second chance to think about anything other than his exams. Autumn always brings about change, for some its for the better – for others, not so much.

They say time slips away when you’re having fun, that’s why you said let’s change our life to a dull one Don’t wanna blink one day and this will all be over, if only time could stop so we’d never grow older

Yet in the same breath I look forward to the day when our skin has aged, I’ll love you just the same Our canvas will have endless hues and shades because of all the vivid colours that we made

Mark always liked Autumn the most out of the seasons, the softer weather, no longer having to deal with the obnoxious sun, trees turning from electric greens to an array of dusky oranges. The air was crisper, a little harsher and with it came the rain but Mark never minded rain, perhaps it was the memories of walking Jisung home from middle school with Johnny, running and laughing as the rain poured over them – having forgotten their umbrellas that morning. Their mum always berating them for being so careless, complaining and nagging that they could make themselves sick. Collapsing through the door, out of breath, changing out of their now soaked through uniforms and curling up with hot chocolates in an attempt to increase their body temperature. They didn’t get to do that anymore. Johnny was at university, although only an hour away, but far enough that technically he didn’t live here anymore, at least not from September until June, Jisung went to the same school as Mark now and refused to drive in with him, still taking the bus – arguing he liked his ‘quiet time’. Mark remembers the bus, the bus is not in any way, shape or form, quiet. Jisung was fiercely independent, everyone knew this, he kept to himself as much as possible bar the three friends Mark knew he’d had since pre-school, Beomgyu, Samuel and Linlin, who even with their ten-year friendship, Mark knew very little about each of them. Frankly, he didn’t know much about his younger brother, not as much as he’d like to at least. Sure, Mark could tell you he has an extremely varied music taste, currently enjoying BTS and Black Pink but also the likes of panic! At the disco and Vinyl Theatre, he seems to be obsessed with HONNE at the minute if the constant playing of crying over you or location unknown was anything to go by, Mark could tell you that he prefers grey or muted tones rather than colour, knew that Jisung hates tomatoes but doesn’t mind tomato flavoured things, but Mark didn’t learn these things because he was told them, they were just things he’d picked up on. They didn’t talk anymore. Mark didn’t know what TV show he was currently binging, or what his favourite film at the minute is. Mark didn’t know the youngers opinions on his soulmate mark, he couldn’t remember the last time he heard Jisung ranting about Johnny and Ten and the damage they do to his innocence.

Jisung felt like a stranger to Mark these days, not someone he once couldn’t be separated from. Maybe that was a bit of a stretch but they were close, just how you’d imagine siblings to be. Sure, they fought and squabbled over who really won at Mario Kart but for a long time they really were each other’s best friend.

It was sad really. Beginning to feel like you lived alongside a stranger, passing each other in the hallway or across the landing but no time for anything more than a quick ‘hello’ or a mumbled, half-arsed ‘good morning’ from either of the brothers. It would also be much better if Mark wasn’t thinking about all of this at four am when he had a chemistry test at nine and while half of his brain is making him feel guilty about how he’s been a shitty brother and too preoccupied with his exams, the other half of his brain is running through Born-Haber cycles and it only made him feel worse. Marks realising that even though its barely October, he’s become exactly who he didn’t want to be, he drowns himself in work and when he’s not studying thermodynamics or the freaking nitrogen cycle he’s attempting to get some sleep or sometimes , just sometimes, he’s actually active in the group chat and is able to somewhat keep up with Renjun and Jaemin’s developing relationship but most importantly he’s gotten used to Donghyuck pretending like not a thing had happened back in August. Donghyuck left that morning, within two days he was back to messaging the group chat (also known as ‘Beyoncé’s bad bitches’ - yes, it was named by Jaemin, Renjun is still mad he wasn’t allowed to call it ‘a guide to crackheads, volume 101’ and Hyuck wanted to call it ‘hoes mad’. Mark did not agree to any of these names and continues to hide his phone whenever his mum is around - he has never flipped it over so fast than when his mum walks into the room, his friends have a habit of setting their own contact names to inappropriate phrases, i.e. Jaemin’s (again) current contact name is ‘your guide to getting that dick 101’, is there not a limit on the number of characters?) like everything was fine, starting out with his fist message about why on earth did he have homework over the summer, the summer. Weren’t you supposed to relax and ‘blow off some steam’?

Mark’s brain was in a state of overflow, uni application due here, maths test next week, chemistry exam today , start spending more time with your brother before you get even busier and he needs someone right now without Johnny around and deal with stupid feelings for Donghyuck knowing full well that they are unrequited tomorrow.

“Hey Mark? Can you come pick me up?”

“Sure, what time?”

“Now?” Panic, panic, panic.

“Yeah sure. Is everything okay? You sound kinda wobbly?”

“I’m fine. I’m down the backroad behind the park, I’m waiting at the end of the road.”

“Okay, I’m grabbing my keys and I’ll be on my way.”

Mark’s guide on how not to panic was a short one, it consisted of ‘breathe and don’t freak other people out’. He only had a ten-minute car journey to figure out how to calm down. Jisung was in trouble . There is no way he would’ve called otherwise and considering he could’ve walked home and it would only take an extra five minutes, something was clearly wrong. Hence, Mark’s brain has gone into instant panic mode. He wasn’t good at dealing with people or emotions, especially when he had no idea why his brother was down this road – none of his friends lived here, at least not as far as he could recall. Mark definitely broke the speed limit more than once (or four) times, his baby brother wasn’t okay.

Jisung looked glum. His eyes were read and puffy, visible even though Mark was a few metres away from him, his posture was sluggish and he looked broken . Jisung’s face didn’t light up upon seeing Mark, although he did look a little less panicked, instead he practically dragged his body into the car, slouching in his seat and saying “Just go,” before turning up the Twice song currently playing (what is love? Mark’s brain supplied).

“Are we going to sit in silence and pretend like everything’s fine or is this the point where instead of Twice we listen to The Neighbourhood, Chase Atlantic and The 1975 and you tell me what’s going on so I don’t have to call Johnny or mum ?” Yeah, Mark was not good at the whole authority figure thing but he did remember all the things Johnny did for him. Mark remembers his first crush, the boy was not gay and Mark, stupidly, told this boy, Daniel, that he was. Daniel was one of the first people Mark came out to and well, he didn’t take it well. Accused him of ‘tainting’ him, trying to make him gay. So, Mark, teary-eyed and heartbroken, rang Johnny who came to pick him up. Johnny sat with him in the car at the lookout, blasting Mr Brightside by The Killers until Mark was ready to talk. That was when Johnny taught Mark about how there are some really, really great people who will run around waving pride flags for you and do everything they can to make you comfortable (like Lucas) and there are some people who are stupid and are not-so-great, some people don’t like it and that’s okay, they’re entitled to their opinion, Johnny had said, they’re just wrong. Mark was thirteen at the time and quickly learnt that some problems (aka stupid crushes on boys that are tall, have fluffy hair and chocolate-coloured eyes) can be solved with a tub of Ben and Jerry’s cookie dough ice cream and some crying while listening to Taylor Swift, not that Mark would ever admit his secret love for her.

“There’s a boy,” Jisung mumbled, “I think I like him? I don’t know. I ran out of his house after he hugged me and I panicked.” Oh. My. God. This was happening, okay Mark, you can do this.

“Does he make you happy?”

“So happy. He smiles at me and I feel a weight lifted off my shoulders. We get along really well, he doesn’t find my playlists weird and he already knew every Twice member and most of the artists I was listening to and he thinks I’m cute and he pinches my cheeks and I don’t hate it.”

“You hate when anyone touches you without permission, usually?”

“I usually do. But, not him. I want to pinch his cheeks too. He has a gummy smile, it’s so cute. He has purple hair too! I really want to try purple, he said I’d look good with pink though so now I really want to try pink hair because he likes it. What is happening to me Mark?”

“You’ve got a crush Sungie.”

“Like you and Hyuck?”

“Yeah, like me and Hyuck. You feel the room brighten a little when he walks in and he makes you a little breathless when he gets too close, right?”

“Right! I’m gay aren’t I. This is the moment I realise I’m gay, huh, though it’d be a bit more exciting.”

“You’ve got plenty of time to explore what you want to, or not, label yourself as Sungie. But you do have a crush on a boy . It’s not the end of the world and no, he won’t hate you.”

“But I don’t know if he’s gay? I’d feel bad if he wasn’t and I tried to confess.”

“I honestly have no idea who we’re talking about so I couldn’t tell you if I had an inkling or not but you’ll figure it out. Talk to him, that’s the only way to get through these things. You can panic and run away all you like but you can’t avoid him forever, trust me, I’ve tried one too many times.”

“Okay. Thank you. Do you think this means Ten’s going to drag me to pride now?”

Mark let out a sigh, “We both know everyone was going whether they wanted to or not. Come on, let’s get ice cream and watch a movie. If you’ve got any questions you can always come to me, unless its sex stuff – I’m not ready for that, go to Johnny, you’re a baby so there better be no sex stuff for a long, long time.”

“Oh my god Mark,” Jisung groaned, “you do not have to worry about that stuff. Please just drive, I want cookie dough. And, we’re playing Mario Kart! Dibs on Yoshi.” With one last chuckle, Mark turned back to look at the younger, his own smile widening upon seeing a veryembarrassed but grinning Jisung. They would figure this out, together.

- - -

“You like me and my cold hands,” Jaemin whined, “maybe, you could warm them up for me. Don’t look at me like that, you loveee me.”

“Har-har, have I mentioned how funny you are lately? No? Wonder why that is. Come here you idiot.” Jaemin wrapped his arms around the smaller, allowing Renjun to bury his head into his chest, one of the only places the younger emitted warmth.

“See, told you that you love me.” I do, not that I’d tell you that.

“Renjun? Hey, you’re going to get a sore back if we don’t move.”

“I don’t want to.”

“What did you say? Renjun you can’t speak into me; I can’t hear you.”

“I said, I don’t want to go. I like it here, you’re warm.”

“Not even ten minutes ago you were whining that I’m cold.”

“I said your hands; your hands are always cold but you seem to radiate heat from everywhere else. Wait, aside from your feet too, they’re always cold, whenever they touch me in bed, I feel like an icicle.”

“You’re just always cold, you wear hoodies in August .” Now, as much as Renjun likes to dispute most comments made about him, he couldn’t argue against this. It may be October now and the cold weather has well and truly set in but, Renjun was always cold – four layers even when the current temperature was reading eighteen degrees, almost hot for an Autumn day. It worked as the perfect excuse to curl up into people (Jaemin) in search of warmth.

“There is nothing wrong with that,” Renjun huffed, “I’m just naturally colder than like, everyone.”

“I like that you’re cold, it gives me the excuse to cuddle you into oblivion and it makes you squirm when I do this-“

“AAH! STOP!” Icy hands were tickling at Renjun’s sides, making their way under his shirt, Renjun squirming and giggling, breathlessly panting for Jaemin to stop.

“Speak clearly Injun, I can’t hear you.” The grin on Jaemin’s face would make your cheeks hurt, wide with pure joy and his eyes filled with love as he flipped their positions, hovering over Renjun as he continued to tickle him to no end. “What was that? Did you say you wanted me to stop?”

“Jaeminnie please,” his voice was wheezy, trying to catch his breath whenever Jaemin’s hands paused their movement.

“Okay, okay. I have a better idea anyway,” and with that, his voice dropped an octave, away from his usual singsong tone to darker and husky. He dropped his head into the crook of Renjun’s neck, leaving light, feathery kisses where he could before moving under his ear and up his jaw, planting kiss after kiss on the expanse of Renjun’s face. God, Jaemin gave the best forehead kisses.

“Yep,” another sigh left Renjun’s lips, “definitely a better idea.” Jaemin finally connected their lips, breath tangling with one another’s, lips chasing each other whenever they parted for breath. It was needy but soft, like they were treasuring every moment of it, holding onto it.

A short while later Jaemin, having left Renjun with lips slightly swollen, much pinker than they were before and his neck littered with reddening marks, pulled away.

“We need to talk.” Renjun wasn’t a fan of this tone of voice, it wasn’t singsong and melodic like normal, nor was it huskier and darker than when he was breathless. This tone was rigid, void of emotion.

“S-sure?” It made Renjun feel small, like he was vulnerable, almost like whenever he got in trouble with his parents as a child.

Jaemin moved from hovering over him, instead opting to sit next to him. He let out a sigh, running his hand over his face, “I can’t keep doing this,” his voice was wobblier now, “we can’t keep going around like this not knowing if we’re soulmates or not. We could be hurting people. I have a soulmate mark and you don’t, maybe that’s how it’s supposed to be – you’re my soulmate but, I am not yours.” Jaemin continued to rant on like this, saying that it wasn’t fair, that he didn’t want to live like this.

“Jesus Jaemin, will you let me speak for one second, please?”

“Oh, right, uhm. Yeah, sorry, go ahead.” The way Jaemin could turn from dominant and flirtatious, arrogant and stern to a complete utter mess never ceased to amaze Renjun.

“You’re an idiot, a complete and utter idiot.”

“Now, I don’t think that’s fair- “

“No, it is,” Renjun leant down to tug his sock off, his soulmate mark out of hiding, “look at me, stop burying your face in your hands and look at me.”

“I’m embarrassed Renjun, I think I have every right to not want to look at you.”

“Oh my god, I would not put up with you if you weren’t my soulmate.”

“What?” Jaemin’s head snapped up at that, glassy eyes meeting Renjun’s before darting down to where Renjun’s leg was crossed over into his lap, revealing his soulmate mark in all its super tiny glory. Angel written in a minimalistic print along his ankle. “You’re kidding, h-how could you not tell me?” A lone tear escaped the corner of his eye and god, Renjun was so damn in love with this boy.

“I didn’t know how to tell you, Hyuck said you cried for three hours about how I didn’t have a soulmate mark. I couldn’t exactly turn around and be like ‘hey Jaemin, I know we’ve been making out at least three times a week since prom night and we’re not together officially or anything but you are actually my soulmate , you’re just a dumbass who didn’t take my socks off and I’m madly in love with you’. Do you see my issue there?”

“Nope, you definitely should’ve done that. I could’ve been kissing you every day of the week. I liked you before, regardless of whether or not we were soulmates, sure I knew since I met you because wow, you’re you and then I just- “

“Shut up and kiss me already.”

“This means we’re boyfriends, right?”

“Not if you don’t kiss me in the next three seconds.”

“Jesus, so bossy!”

“You love it.”

“That I do.”

“I love you too.”

[stilloutofmyvulcanmind]

New Beginnings Part 2

Fandom: Love/Hate

Pairing: Darren Treacy x Female Reader

Characters: Darren Treacy, Reader, OC

Word Count: 2623

Warning: Some swears, reference to past violence, nightmares, and discussions of violence

Summary: It’s been years since the Incident. Years since you moved out of Dublin and started a new life. Years since you last saw your childhood best friend Darren Treacy. One day that all changes and the two of you find each other again. Darren claims he’s done with his old life, but will it really be that simple?

Author’s Note: So here’s Part 2! Thank you to those who read it and liked it!

Part 1 

It was a slow week of work and studying, but having Darren back made it all seem less mundane. You didn't get a chance to see him again, between your schedule and his, there had simply been no time. But you'd been able to text still, and that was enough to keep you going. You learned that Darren had gotten work in a factory making small parts and the such. He found it dull, but it was honest work and kept him out of trouble. You were proud of him, he'd only been out of Dublin a few months and he was doing well for himself.

Apart from his sleeping arrangements. Those you weren't happy with. What money he'd had he'd given to Mary, which left next to none for a deposit on a flat for himself. So he'd been crashing on the couch of someone looking for a little extra cash. Far from ideal, especially when they kept him up most of the night with their parties. You didn’t like it, but there wasn’t much you could do about it either. You didn’t have the money to rent your own place, let alone help Darren out, and after everything, your mother would not want him in the spare room.

It wasn’t until you saw him again, when you met outside the church, that you decided to say screw it to anything else and get him out of there. The bags under Darren’s eyes looked painful; it was obvious he’d barely gotten a wink of sleep since the previous Wednesday, and your heart broke for him. He was never going to get himself straight if he didn’t have peace to at least try and sleep.

You waited until the group was done, and you’d managed to get Darren into a small cafe for something to eat. “I’m gonna talk Ma into letting you have the box room,” you said once you were both halfway through your burger and chips

Darren paused, ketchup covered chip halfway to his mouth. “What?”

“You can’t be stayin’ where you’re at, and we have the spare room, so why not?”

“There’s no way she’s gonna say yes, Y/N, not after what happened.”

“She will once I talk to her! Once I explain everything, that you’re out of all that business, she’ll come around. Trust me, yeah? When have I ever been wrong?”

“In fairness, you did believe you could get pregnant from holding hands for a solid year.” Darren laughed, quickly bringing his arms up to block the chip you flung at him.

“I was eight!” You laughed too, waiting for him to lower his guard before chucking another, this one finding its goal that was Darren’s face.

“Still wrong!” Darren winked, plucking the food from where it had landed on his shoulder and munching it with a shit eating grin. The smile softened after a few moments into something more genuine. “But thank you. I do appreciate it.”

“Anything for a friend,” you smiled back, taking a bite of your burger. Now you just had to hope that convincing her would be as easy as you made it out to be.

~

“Are you out of your damned mind, Y/N!? That criminal, under my roof? You’re jokin’!”

“He’s done with all that now, Ma! He’s trying to get himself sorted and he can’t do that where is right now!” You argued back against your mother, leaning against the kitchen counter while she glared at you from the table.

“I don’t bloody well care! After what he did he can sleep in a bus stop!”

“He was a stupid kid back then! He deserves a second chance!”

“A second chance!? Don’t you remember the last time you give a man a second chance?”

You flinched at that and took a moment to turn away and take a breath. “It’s not like that with Darren. We aren’t together, I just want to help a friend!”

“A friend who’s a criminal!”

“Was. Was a criminal, Ma. There was a time when you liked him, you know,” you said turning back to face her.

“That was before he got involved with Power and his lot.”

“And he shouldn't have, I’ll admit that. Now he just wants to put it all behind him and make amends.”

She looked at you for a long moment.  “Does he at least have a job?”

“Yeah, at a factory downtown. So he can pay rent.”

She pinched her nose and let out a sigh, still not looking entirely convinced. “One shot, and that’s it. If he as so much as steals a piece of gum, he’s out, I swear.”

“He won’t, I promise.” You crossed the kitchen to the table, bending down to hug her and kiss her cheek. “Thank you, Ma.”

“Yeah, yeah. Go tell him to get his things over here before I change my mind.”

~

“Thank you for lettin’ me stay, Mrs. Y/L/N. I appreciate it.” Darren spoke from where he stood next to you in the kitchen, both facing your mother. You’d just helped him carry the few things he had upstairs to the box room, and now you were here, helping him get through the first face to face meeting he’d had with her in years. “Um, I brought this too.” Darren pulled an envelope from his jacket and set it down on the table, sliding it across so your mother didn’t have to stretch. “An advance on the rent. It’s not much, but it’s the most I could get for now.”

You watched as she pulled the dozen or so ten-pound notes from the envelope and counted them before tucking them back away safely. “Now you listen to me Darren Treacy, I don’t give a shit about your money and I’m not gonna kick you out if you need it more for something else. A deposit or lessons or whatever. But if I even hear a rumour that you’ve gotten yourself in some kind of trouble, you’ll be out on your ear faster than you can blink. You understand?”

“Of course. I’ll be no trouble.”

Your mother glared at him for a few moments longer, waiting until he was suitably nervous before nodding. “Good. Now bugger off the pair of you while I cook. I expect you both at the table.”

Both of you scarpered, the feeling reminding you of being dismissed after a telling off when you were teens. You would’ve laughed if you had wanted to risk an actual telling off. You reached Darren’s room and stepped inside, shutting the door behind you.

“Gettin’ shot was less scary than that,” Darren laughed once you were no longer at risk of being heard.

“You shouldn’t be making jokes!” You slapped his shoulder lightly, moving to flop onto his bed. “Not unless you want to see her really mad.”

“Heaven forbid.” Darren sat next to you, the two of you quiet for a few minutes. Faintly, you could hear music drift up from down below as your mother switched the radio on. “Thank you. For doing this. I’ve missed having a room.”

“It’s okay,” you smiled, propping yourself up onto an elbow. “Now, here’s all the TV shows you need to avoid talking about….”

~

The meal went well, and Darren even managed to get through a couple of hours of TV watching with you and your mother without starting an argument. You caught the side eye your mother was giving him on occasion, but everything was civil and pleasant, and better than you could have hoped for.

It was so nice that you really shouldn’t have been surprised when you were jerked from your sleep that night with cold sweat running down your back, and gasping for breath. It had been months since you’d had a dream as bad as that, and of course, it had to appear the night things were finally fully feeling right again. Rubbing the tears and the last remaining images from your eyes, you pushed yourself up out of bed. The old scar on your side twinged in pain as you did, but you ignored it, not needing any more reminders of events past.

A trip downstairs and a glass of water later, you almost felt human again. Enough to at least try and go back to sleep. You were about to enter your bedroom when you noticed that there was a light on in Darren’s, barely visible, yet there as it creeped out from under the door. Approaching slowly, you listened. From the other side, you could hear the tell-tale signs of ragged breathing and quiet sniffs.

“Darren?” You called quietly, tapping the door gently as you opened it and peered around. “You okay?”

Darren was sitting on the edge of his bed with his back towards you. In the light of the bedside lamp, you could see his skin covered in a thin sheen of sweat, his shoulders rising and falling as he caught his breath. He glanced at you over one of them. “I woke you?”

“Nah. Bad dreams are going around tonight I guess.” You slipped into the room fully, closing the door behind you. “Wanna talk about it?” It was a bold choice to just come in with no invite, but you knew Darren well enough to know that he’d never ask for help first. He watched you as you walked across the room, noiseless on the soft carpet, and sat next to him.

“I don’t know where to start.” He looked at you sadly, the remnants of tears still lingering in his eyes.

“Wherever. It doesn’t matter,” you said softly, taking his hand. “It was about the shooting?”

Darren nodded, “Yeah. It always is,” he sighed, using his free hand to run his fingers through his hair. “It varies what happens, but it always ends the same. I’m on the side of the road, bleedin’, hurtin’, terrified. And I...I can’t breathe. I know I’m dying, but I can’t do anything to stop it. I want to see Mary again, I want to see her girls, but I can’t move. I’m just...lyin’ there, choking on my own blood, staring up at the sky for eternity, just...just waitin’ to die.” Darren had been looking down as he spoke, but suddenly he looked straight up at you, eyes meeting your own. “But then...but then it starts to get dark, and it’s even scarier. Because I know that’s it. It’ll all go dark and I’ll be dead. And always, just as it does, I wake up. But I’m not really awake. I’m stuck, frozen and I realise I’m looking down at myself and I’m dead. I’m looking down at my dead body. It’s too much to take, and soon as I think I’m about to go mad I properly wake up. “

“I’m so sorry. Jesus, Darren, that’s awful. I’m sorry.”

He looked for a moment like he was going to cry, but then he turned away and pressed his hand over his eyes. His other hand was still holding yours though, the grip tight. He took a steadying breath and opened his eyes again. “I’m an idiot.”

“No, you’re not. You’re brave. Really brave,” you whispered. “I think...I think maybe you need some help for them though.”

“That’s what the Doctor said at my check-up. They wrote a prescription for some happy pills and recommended your group, but I never went and got the pills.”

“Maybe you should give them a go. There’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

Darren laughed weakly. “Nidge and the others wouldn’t say that. They’d say I’m a fuckin’ pussy if they knew about any of this.”

“They aren’t here. You are. And I am. And there’s nothin’ wrong with having some help. It’s the strongest thing you can do.”

“Did you? Take them?”

“Still do.”

“Oh.” He glanced away for a few moments, and you let him have them, giving him a chance to think. When he looked back, he smiled. “I’ll try them. I’ve still got the paper, so I’ll get them tomorrow.”

You smiled. “Thank you. I think they’ll help. And the group is good for getting stuff out in the open. Once you get used to it, I think you’ll like it.”

“I’ll try.”

Smiling again, you nudged his shoulder with your own. “That’s all I ask.”

Darren shifted on the bed, turning to face you a little more. “What about you?”

“Me?”

“You said bad dreams were spreading tonight so what was yours?”

In the wake of Darren’s nightmare and learning what it involved, your own had completely fled your mind. Flashes of images came flooding back at the memory making you cringe. Closing your eyes and sucking in a breath, you calmed yourself. No more of that. Not tonight. When you reopened your eyes Darren was watching you still, eyebrows furrowed together in concern. “It’s complicated.”

“By complicated do you mean it’s about what happened and you don’t want to hurt me?”

“No! Well, yes. Kinda? It...it was about that, but...there’s more to it. Stuff you don’t know and stuff that’s happened since. A complicated kinda complicated.”

“Try me?”

You chuckled tiredly. Darren was being sincere, you could see that. And it wasn’t that you didn’t want to tell him, you just didn’t want to dredge up so much of the past, not tonight. “Another time, yeah? When we’re not exhausted.”

Darren nodded. “Okay. You know you can tell me anythin’, yeah?”

“Yeah. It really is nothing to do with you. I just need to be able to get my thoughts straight.”

Darren nodded again, and the two of you fell into silence. You should probably go, you thought. You didn’t want to overstay your welcome, but you didn’t want to leave either. It was comforting to be around Darren. He maybe knew better than anyone what it was like. You grew up in the same place, around the same violence. Both been victim of the same violence. And if the way Darren was still holding your hand was anything to go by, he felt the same.

“You know, sometimes it helps to have another person with you when you go back to sleep after a nightmare. For me, it helped anyway. It’s...comforting to know there’s someone there with you,” you suggested after a minute, looking over at Darren.

In the soft light, you saw him smile in what looked like relief. “I’ll give anything a go right now.”

Somehow you managed to both move in sync, each climbing back onto the bed without need for words or discussion, and lying on your sides facing each other. Darren was on his right side which let you see the scars marring his chest properly for the first time. They were so close to heart...how easily things could’ve been different.

“Hey, I’m fine, Y/N,” Darren said when he spotted you looking. “I am.”

“I know,” you said on a sigh, meeting his gaze again. “I’m glad you’re here.”

“So am I.”

You smiled and closed your eyes, relaxing into the comfy mattress. It could’ve been awkward, lying as you were with someone, with another it probably would’ve been. But not with Darren. It was intimate for sure. There wasn’t a great deal of room so you were close together, foreheads almost touching, yet it wasn’t awkward. Honestly, it was the best you’d felt in a very long time.

Felt so good that as you fell back into sleep, you didn’t even think about how you’d tell Darren about what had happened since you left, or how he’d react if he ever found out the real truth about the night of the Incident.

Tagging: @dyll-pickless

(If you’d like to be tagged in future parts, let me know!)

[yourescapetofiction]

The Tides Have Turned-Part 13

A/N: This is my old work, The Tides Have Turned. It is a complete story that I am reposting on this blog so the work isn’t lost and can be found for those interested :)

Thirteen Everything was a blur, the room was spinning. I acted before I even thought of what I was doing. I lunged towards Jack and initially thought I was successful in stopping the attack. I stood and watched his face contort in pain and realized it was only his hands that were sliced. My world suddenly entered slow motion, voices becoming muted. I felt a sharp pain, but with my focus being on Jack I didn’t really pay attention to myself. I slowly looked down to see a deep stab wound in my side. My hand clutched the area tightly, blood seeping through my fingers and staining my dress. I suddenly felt weak, and sank slowly to the ground. I could see the guys moving towards me, mouthing words, but it was like nothing came out. Just silence. Nate’s POV Screams filled the room as the fight escalated to an alarming level. I caught on quickly that Gilinsky was hit, but I didn’t know where. All I knew was that I had to get the knife away from these assholes. I lunged for the guy and knocked him to the ground. I struggled to pin him down, attempting to punch him, when he brought the knife close enough to slash my forearm. “Fuck!” I yelled in pain. It hurt, but it fueled my anger further. I gained the advantage of laying a few punches on the guy and kicked the knife out of reach. I was slamming into him repeatedly. “Nate, bro that’s enough” Johnson yelled, out of breath. The party was thinning out by now, probably because shit got too heavy. “The cops are probably on their way, we gotta get out of here” Swazz said. “Guys, we have a bigger problem” Gilinsky said clutching his hand in pain, his voice laced with worry. “Nate you’re going to want to get over here, NOW” Sam yelled. This alarmed me once more and I rushed towards them to see y/n unconscious on the ground. She had blood all over the front of her dress.

“Oh my god…” I whispered, sinking to my knees. I pushed the hair out of her face and tried desperately to get a reaction out of here, but with no luck.

“Y/n, please. Wake up. Say something!” I plead. I moved her arm to examine the wound, and saw it was pretty deep. I needed to get her to a hospital.

“Guys we gotta go” I say more urgently. I quickly removed the hoodie that I had been wearing and tied it securely around her torso to keep the blood in as best as I could. I picked her up bridal style and began jogging out of the house.

“Fuck! We didn’t drive here, we walked!” I say stopping dead in my tracks. I knew I didn’t have much time.

The guys quickly followed me outside, they each had varying degrees of injuries-myself included. The most important thing right now was getting y/n sorted out. I knew there was nobody left at the house, so I clutched onto her as tightly as I could and began running as fast as I can. The endless stretch of beach was blurring past me at a dizzying pace. I needed to get back to the house, and the car, as soon as I could.

The guys were hot on my trail when we finally sprinted up the driveway, now more out of breath than before.

“You guys take the bus, I’ll take y/n in her parent’s car” I say motioning towards the vehicles.

“Alright man. Listen, be careful” Johnson said before climbing into the driver’s side of the bus. The guys all packed in tightly, Gilinsky appeared to be out of it.

“We’ll see you there” Sam said shooting me one last sorrowful glance. I just nodded my head and jogged towards the car. I gingerly placed y/n in the front seat, I was fraught with worry. I drove faster than I ever have before. I was praying silently that I wouldn’t get pulled over for doing 90 in a 35 zone.

I didn’t even really know where I was going, I just had to drive into town and hope for the best. I kept glancing at her in the front seat, each minute becoming more serious.

“Please, baby. Stay with me, don’t go anywhere. Please. Don’t leave me, I need you” I pleaded more for myself to hear than her.

Finally I saw a large building with bright read letters reading EMERGENCY ROOM. I pulled up and picked y/n up carefully out of the car before bursting through the doors.

“Somebody please help! She’s been stabbed!” I shout desperately through the ER. A group of nurses quickly ran towards us, one bringing a stretcher. They whisked her out of my arms quicker than the time it takes me to blink. I didn’t want to let go of her, I had this stupid separation anxiety. Always afraid I wouldn’t be able to see her again.

“Sir, you should come with me” a nurse said pushing me towards an exam room. I sat there in a daze as she cleaned up my arm.

“You’re going to need a few stitches, but other than that you’ll be fine” she said reassuringly.

“What about my girl?” I asked worried. I couldn’t give a shit about my arm, I needed to know that she would be okay.

“I don’t currently know her status. You’ll have to talk to her doctor, but try not to worry” she said finishing my stitches. I exited the room and sat in the waiting area where I found most of the other guys. I sat down next to Sam in silence. Nobody really spoke to each other, all waiting with baited breath. Try not to worry. That’s like telling a fish not to swim, or a bird not to sing.

We sat and waited for what feels like hours. Still no word on how she’s doing, which was increasing my anxiety by the minute. I couldn’t just sit here anymore, it was too much.

“I’m going for a walk” I say before completely bursting through the waiting room doors.

I was just a quick fuck.

Those words were running through my head. Is that what she thought? That was the last thing she ever was to me. She was hurt because of me, and then that idiot Gilinsky made it worse. She was put through hell in the matter of a couple of hours, and now here she is seriously injured. And I wasn’t there to protect her-Sam was. I mean I was grateful that he was there, I know he loves her, but it should have been me.

“Nate! Bro, come on! They’re about to give us an update” Swazz yelled out through the doors. My head quickly snapped up, freeing me from my thoughts. I sprinted back into the waiting room, desperate for good news.

“Hey Dr. Miller, what is it? How’s she doing?” I say roughly shaking his hand.

“She’s alright. She sustained a pretty deep stab wound, but you got her here quick enough to prevent infection and blood loss” he stated looking kind but professional.

“We stitched her up, and she should heal rather quickly. She’s lucky you guys were there. You can go in and see her now” he said before shaking our hands and walking away. I stood semi-frozen before Johnson put a hand on my back.

“Come on man, it’ll be okay.”

Y/n’s POV

I stared mindlessly at the fuzzy television screen in my hospital room. The bed was uncomfortable, and the room was decorated with fake plants and cheap furniture. I sighed, but quickly winced at the pain. A knock sounded on my door, and I figured it would just be another nurse to check on me.

“Come in” I answer, my voice void of any emotion. My heart lifted when I saw each of the boys entering single-file.

“Hey there” Kenny said coming over to place a tender kiss to my head. I smiled at him as he sat on the chair next to my bed.

“Hey beautiful, feeling okay?” Sam said moving to put his arm around me. His beautiful features were bruised and cut.

“I’m fine Sammy. Are you?” I say worried. He let out a deep laugh.

“Doing alright baby girl, this is nothing” he said nonchalantly. The rest of the boys filled the room, sitting anywhere they could including the floor. Johnson sat at the foot of my bed and Gilinsky joined him. My heart hurt to see Jack’s hand bandaged.

“Jack, oh my god, I’m so sorr-” I begin, tears filling my eyes. He held his hand up to stop me.

“Don’t even, y/n. This was not your fault, and if it wasn’t for you I would have been worse off” he said with complete gratitude.

“Maybe I am in love with you considering you saved my life” he said with a smirk, trying to lighten the mood. I chuckled softly clutching my side. My eyes moved around to these guys that cared so deeply for me, and I took a second to realize how grateful I am.

My eyes then shifted to the familiar dark hair and tattoos. Nate was standing in silence, behind Swazz’s chair. His eyes were bloodshot, and he too had a bandage on his arm. I motioned for him to come over to my side. He sharply inhaled, but complied.

“We’ll just give you guys a minute” Johnson said standing to leave.

“We are right in the waiting room if you need us babe” Sam said before placing a chaste kiss to my cheek. I squeezed his hand to show my thanks. The last boy left allowing the heavy door to swing shut.

I returned my gaze to Nate who was looking everywhere but at me. It’s like he couldn’t handle seeing me like this, but I needed him now more than ever-even just as friends.

“Nate…” I let out softly.

“I was so fucking scared” he said, barely over a whisper.

“Are you alright? I didn’t know you got stabbed” I said feeling guilty.

“I’m fine, really” he said seriously before looking down. He looked up again, finally staring deeply into my eyes.

“I never thought you were a quick fuck. I enjoyed every second of our time together. If we hadn’t had that fight then you wouldn’t-” he began to stammer.

“Nate, don’t. I don’t know what you and Jessica had, or have going on, but she made it quite clear that you are attached. I need you to be here for me, as a friend right now” I say squeezing my eyes shut. The words were so painful to utter.

“Wait, Jessica? She said some shit to you?” he said with mixed emotions.

“That’s not the point. Be with her, Nate. It’s clear you two have history together, and you know what they say that’s hard to ignore” I say trying my best to be convincing and heartfelt.

“You don’t mean that” he said standing, clearly taken aback.

“Our arrangement is over Nate” I said before looking away. I couldn’t bear to look into his eyes.

He walked in silence towards the exit, before quietly mumbling something under his breath. He was never direct with his feelings, so I couldn’t be sure, but I think he said “please don’t leave me.”

[kpop-wetdreams]

The Composure of the Composer

The Composure of the Composer

[one shot; soulmates!AU]

Author: Kpop-Wetdreams

Pairing: Jaebum x Reader

Rating: 18+ [fluff / angst / smut / nsfw]

Warning: Explicit Sex

Word Count: 11.6k

Author’s Note:  A soulmate!AU series of oneshots by @kpop-wetdreams, @igot7bangtanbaes, and @yehet-me-up, based on a concept by @kpop-wetdreams. The Master List can be found at: The Inevitability of You.

You woke up to the light streaming through the windows and hitting you squarely in the face. You groan as you roll over to evade the sun that was the world's most adamant alarm clock with no such luck as your cat, Sir Fat Butt, decided that it was time you fed him. This time your groan was less voluntary as you felt him jump onto your back and start to knead you, trying to get your attention. Groaning for the last time you roll back over and sat up, rubbing the sleep from your eyes and absentmindedly petting your cat. His purr could be felt through your bed as you reached for your phone. You had band practice today. You were a drummer in a moderately popular band if you did say so yourself. You were actually quite proud of the achievements your bandmates and yourself were able to achieve. Your style of music was rock ballads not that you could hear them, not the way everyone else did. That was your deficiency, your impairment. For as long as you could remember you watched as people mouthed along to a secret melody that you were never privy to. People had tried to explain the phenomenon of music to you but it was hard to grasp.

It wasn't that you were deaf, for from it. You could hear sounds but for some reason, when they were strung together in a melody, you were locked out. It was an infuriating experience. You wanted to be a singer more than anything else. You felt it in the deepest parts of you that you had something to share but you were terrified. You were too embarrassed to sing in front of anyone because you yourself couldn't hear what you sounded like. What if you sounded like nails on a chalkboard? Worse, what if you were actually making no sounds at all. It was so difficult to tell. Your vocal chords felt the way they did when you were talking if only that they were tighter at times and more loose at others but that was hardly any indication to go off of. The ding of an incoming message in your band's group chat drag you out of your thoughts.

[Sasha 7:44 AM] Good morning sleepy heads! Meet at the practice room by 9? I know it's early but the sooner we get there the sooner we can be done right?

You shake your head as a small chuckle escapes your lips. Sasha was the leader of your band and the lead vocalist and back up guitarist. She was the bubbly beautiful visual that stood center stage and drew everyone in. Despite her sweet appearance, Sasha was actually quite the hard ass.

[Meri 7:47 AM] Don't lie to us, Sass. We all know the sooner we get in just means the longer we're practicing. There is no get out ‘early' with you.

[Thomas 7:48 AM] ^^^^^^^^ this an infinite amount of times.

You laugh out loud this time. Meri was the bassist and Thomas, was backup vocals and lead guitarist. With Annie on the keyboard and you on drums, that was the entire ensemble of U4ria. You knew Annie would still be asleep but she would somehow always make it to practice on time even if she wasn't the most active in chat (though it was your sneaking suspicion that Sasha took a detour to Annie's place and hauled her out of bed to ensure she was on time you have yet to prove your theory with evidence).

[________ 7:59 AM] See you dweebs there xoxo

You type quickly and hopped into the shower. You had an hour to get ready and grab your bag and head out of the door. Luckily for you, since you were the drummer that meant usually you didn't have to lug your equipment around, just your drumsticks. The shower was quick, short, and hot and ended too soon. You tie your drying hair up into a quick and messy bun and after throwing on an oversized sweater, some black tights, and combat boots, you were out the door with a bag slung over your shoulder and drumsticks securely in hand.

As you walked along the street you drummed an invisible beat. Sometimes you were envious of those that walked with their heads down, plugged into their devices and you assumed, listening to music as they went about their day. You wondered if they even knew how lucky they were to be able such a ‘mundane' luxury when you would give up almost anything to hear the music.

"No matter." You tell yourself as you continue to the bus stop. Just because you couldn't hear music didn't mean that your life lacked sound. You listened to all the sounds around you. Bird songs were exempt from your inability to hear the music. You whistled their tune back to them and noted the sound of passing cars. The rumbling of engines… the laughter of children playing at a nearby playground. They were music to you. In your head, you arranged entire orchestras of the sounds around you and the sounds that were invisible to others. Sounds that were just ‘noise' to them but were everything to you.

Band practice had gone great and without a hitch. Everyone had shown up on time, early even which had delighted Sasha but as predicted, they went on until the bitter end. You were currently lying on the floor heaving, letting the air conditioning wash over you. You never understood how you got so sweaty playing the drums but you always did. The others always teased you for your ‘passionate' playing but you just wanted to convey the song, the heartbeat of the music as best as you could and apparently that meant looking like you ran a marathon.

"Did you hear the new song released by Jaebum?" Thomas asked excitedly taking out his phone.

"Did he actually sing in this one or just you know, do everything else?" Meri teased. Jaebum was a famous composure. He composed the music, wrote the lyrics and produced the songs though he never sang on them himself. His career had taken off quite suddenly a few years ago and showed no signs of slowing down what-so-ever. One of the other reasons his career took off the way it did was despite his music being incredibly moving, being lyrically beautiful, he also shared the music impairment. He couldn't hear the music he produced. Not in its entirety anyways. That's why the other thing he was renowned for was being a merciless womanizer.  Apparently, he would do anything to hear his music even if it was just in snippets, just bits, and pieces. Finding your complete soulmate, that absolute perfect match would of course ‘cure' you of your impairment in its entirety but there were work-a-rounds. What Jaebum did was actually quite common. You see, there were varying degrees of matching within all those that shared the same impairment. Rumor had it that Jaebum went around finding the girl with the highest match and that's how he lived his life. Ever searching for the greater match just so he could compose and hear his music, never seeking it for the fulfillment of his actual soulmate bond for how much more it could actually offer him.

You always thought it was a little unfair of people to judge Jaebum so harshly on how he chose to use his soulmate bond. It wasn't like there was some magical guide on how you were supposed to treat your soulmate as long as it was consensual with both parties, what was wrong with what he was doing? You were sure these women that agreed to be with Jaebum knew his reputation and what his typical pattern was so it wasn't a surprise but the heart was a fickle thing really.

"Speaking of Jaebum… did you hear that he was supposed to be a guest judge at that charity talent show that we signed _________ up for?" Annie asked nonchalantly as she was packing away her keyboard.

You sprung upwards, staring at your friends though right now they looked like a buncha backstabbing cows more than friends.

"Annie!" Sasha hissed. "You weren't supposed to tell her yet!" she screeched in hushed tones.

"What. The. Actual fuck is Annie talking about?" You asked through narrowed eyes.

Meri walked over to you and wrapped you up in a tight hug and started to pet your hair. Meri was always the mother of the group, trying to keep things smooth and from bubbling over too much. "We all know how much you want to sing _________. We thought this might be a fun way for you to get out there… you don't have to go if you don't want. All we did was sign you up and pay the entrance fee." she said encouragingly.

"Though if you did decide to do it, you would kick ass _________. Sasha showed us the demos on your computer." Thomas said grinning and giving you a thumbs up. Now it was your turn to screech at the top of your lungs and point accusingly as Sasha.

"TRAITOR!" You yell at the top of your lungs, livid. You showed her those demos in confidence! She wasn't supposed to go blabbering to the rest of the group about your singing or your lame attempts at it!

"HEY IN MY DEFENSE, YOU LEFT ME ALONE. IN A ROOM. WITH TOP SECRET INFORMATION AND THE ABILITY TO COPY THE FILES. WHAT DID YOU THINK WAS GOING TO HAPPEN?" Sasha asked, shrugging but pouting at you and giving you her infamous puppy dog stare that would have your anger melting away.

You gave up and just decided to lie down. You laid down completely flat on your stomach and didn't move.

"Look at what you did Sasha. You broke _________ again." Thomas scolded as you could hear your friends scuttling about and surrounding you on the floor. "Honestly _________, you don't have to do it if you don't want to. We were surprised when Sasha showed us the demos and hurt that you didn't feel like you could show us yourself. You have talent even if you can't hear it _________ but we can.  You are a singer. You pour that passion you have when playing the drums into your singing and Sasha will have to watch her back or we will end up with two lead vocals." Thomas teased, nudging your side.

You could feel someone pawing at your hand and you finally turn to face the source to find Sasha's face but an eyelash distance away. "Don't be mad. We did it for you stupid. We believe in you. I wish you believed in yourself half as much as we believed in you. If you believe in yourself that much then you could dethrone even Jaebum as the greatest composer and artist of our generation." She said seriously.

The room was silent as the whirring sound of the air conditioner could be heard before you sat up. "Do you guys really think so?"

You didn't need an answer as your friends all collapsed about you, forming a massive doggy pile and group hug all at once.

Jaebum stared at the invitation sitting open on his desk. He ran his hand through his hair again and sighed the umpteenth sigh of the day. He was too busy. He simply had too much to do to make an appearance at this charity event as a guest judge like his company wanted. It was some feel-good event, non-profit media frenzy event. The winner of the ‘talent show' didn't even get a prize. All you got were more good feelings. Jaebum had nothing against charities. He loved charities. Yay giving back to the community. Yayyyy but he was simply just too busy. Lately, he found that his impairment was bothering him more than normal. More of the music was slipping away from his fingers which only meant one thing, it was time for a new mate.

His solution wasn't a perfect one but it was one that worked. He would find the most suitable mate possible in the moment he needed them and kept them around until the music started to fade, which usually meant their affection for him was waning as well and then it was time to upgrade to a new model. This one had lasted a surprisingly long time. He had even enjoyed the sex and her company. They had shared interests but it was never her that kept him there, only what she offered him. He didn't feel guilty. These girls knew what they were signing up for when they agreed to date him. They were using him just as he was using them, they used each other in different ways and used each other until there was nothing left and then they'd fall apart. It was something that Jaebum had probably gone through at least a dozen times that now it was just routine.

Jaebum held up the invitation again to scrutinize the cursive writing embossed on the paper. "Fuck it. It's Christmas time. Do what we can for those that can't right?" he muttered as he turned to his laptop and opened up an e-mail to the event coordinator letting them know that he would be in attendance after all but he had a few...demands.

He wouldn't have to appear on any broadcast; and

He could sit away from the Judge's table.

Those were his only two stipulations to his attendance. They could use his name all they wanted as long as he didn't have to appear. It wasn't that he wasn't confident in his looks (if women were any indication, he was rather good-looking), he just valued his privacy and the moment he revealed his face, he would lose that forever.  

Once Jaebum got the confirmation e-mail back that all his conditions will be met, he sighed again. "Whoop-dee-fucking-do. Let's go put in some charity work," he muttered to himself, placing his noise-canceling headphones back over his ears and getting back to his producing project.

"Stop pacing _________. Honestly, you're going to make me throw up." Sasha said as she rubbed her temples from her seat backstage with you and the rest of U4ria.

You couldn't help it. You were not going to come. You had flipped a coin. Then plucked petals off a poor flower. Then back to the coin. Then counting toes on the tiger and all the things. You had finally resolved not to come to this thing despite practicing all week long. Meri had been careful to monitor how much you were practicing so you wouldn't strain your vocal chords and actually do more harm than good. It was strange to practice singing without being able to hear the song. You were going to be singing one of Jaebum's many compositions. The words were actually pretty easy to sing (since you already knew them by heart). It didn't matter how many times Meri told you that you sounded amazing, you didn't believe her. How could you? How could you believe something you had never experienced first hand?

Your hands were shaking so much it looked like you had downed 5 espressos on the way here. It didn't matter how many times you wrung them or tried to take deep breaths, nothing seemed to be able to settle your nerves. You almost didn't register the contestant that was just before you step out onto the stage. Almost. As soon as you saw the duo walk past you and out onto the stage, you started hyperventilating.

"SOMEONE GET HER THE BAG," Annie screamed as people threw things around and you were eventually handed a paper bag and some water.

Thomas patted your back sympathetically. "You can do this _________ but if you really don't want to you don't have to. We are proud of you either way." He tried to comfort you. You knew that your friends would be proud of you either way but you wanted to do this. You maybe wanted to do this? No. You definitely wanted to do this for yourself! You had to do this. But really, did anyone have to do anything at all? If you left right now, your friends would still be proud and no one would be the wiser. Well, no one except you. Would you be able to look yourself in the mirror tomorrow and not feel regret? You uncapped the water bottle and downed the entire thing like it held something stronger than just water hoping for some liquid courage but no such luck.

"_________. _________!" Someone called your name as your head shot up.

"H-h-here!" You said unsteadily as you walked towards the person that had called your name.

" Hi _________. We need you to be on standby and be ready to step out on stage as soon as you're given the cue. Good? Good." They said without looking up from their clipboard and walked away before you could ask a question if your brain was competent enough at that moment to form one. You were shaking like a leaf standing on that red ‘x' and apparently, you went on autopilot because the next thing you knew, you were standing on a different red ‘x' and a spotlight was shining in your eyes. The judges' panel regarded you curiously as you introduced yourself and when you were ready, you cued Thomas to play your music.

Ok. 1, 2, 3, 4, rest, 2, 3, 4, rest, rest, rest, 4, rest, 2, 3, 4, 1, 2, rest, rest…

You took a deep breath and something strange happened. You sang, projecting your voice on pitch and for the first time in your entire life, you heard yourself sing.

Jaebum had entered the venue through a side door to avoid the commotion out front. His name was plastered all over the building and the organizers had spared no expense to deck out the building and really make it feel like something special. In front of the venue stood a Christmas tree that was so large that you couldn't see the top of it if you were standing too close to the base. Twinkling lights were strung across all the outside areas to mimic the night sky and even he had to give credit where credit where it was due, the venue looked spectacular.

He had met with the other judges briefly to go over the program and what was to be expected. The Talent Show only held about 25 contestants, nothing too crazy. Good enough to put on a program and a good selection of talents and acts for them to choose a winner from. The winner won a small sum of money and some recording time in a professional studio. It wasn't a bad prize, especially for something smaller. All in all it was more of a focus on the charity aspect of the event and once all the judges were caught up and they were given the cue, the judges that would be appearing on the broadcast, as well as the MC, filed out and Jaebum exited stage left and found his way up to the nosebleeds.

Jaebum situated himself dead center and high up enough that he could see the contestant but they wouldn't be able to see him, not with the spotlight shining in their eyes. This was his happy place. Somewhere he could observe and not be observed in return. He had his laptop open on his lap as he clicked away on the keyboard, chatting with the other judges through instant messenger. One by one the contestants filed on, performed their acts, Jaebum provided his professional opinion and they left the stage and the next person was ushered on. It was starting to get a little tedious and he could feel his irritation levels start to rise. He was grateful that the organizers had left this particular balcony completely empty so he would be undisturbed. He sat hunched over slightly in his black, oversized hoodie, hood up, typing away and drinking the occasional sip of water.

"_________." He muttered as he typed your name into his notes. His eyes flicked away from the screen to the small figure standing on stage. Even from way up where he was sitting, he could tell that you were nervous. "Doubtful she will be any good with how nervous she is. Even if she is good she won't be able to perform at her optimal condition," he muttered, typing so into his notes mechanically. It wasn't that he was cold-hearted or cruel, he was just straightforward and honest.

He hears the music start and he puts away his laptop, preferring to completely focus on the performer as they were performing and opting for a pen and paper where he could scribble things down without looking. It's one of my songs. He chuckled to himself softly. Maybe she thought she would earn brownie points if she went with one of my songs. Jaebum chuckled. What an amateurish decision to make. Jaebum was about to close his eyes and take a quick nap when he heard it. Your voice. It was unlike anything he had ever heard before and suddenly he was at the edge of his seat. The way you voice carried the song… the way the song melded into your voice. The crescendo. The subtlety. The breathiness that he wanted to convey, it was all there just as it had been in his mind and for the first time, he was hearing it. It was the first time he was hearing his song in its entirety.

Jaebum was sitting on the edge of his seat, hands gripping the railing as he listened to your voice and his song. He couldn't believe it. A complete match. You were a complete match. "Just who are you _________…" Jaebum muttered as he watched you perform. Your performance was sincere as you conveyed all you could through your voice and the song. There were no excessive movements or additives on your part and it was perfect. He had to meet you. He had to -- he didn't know what he had to do but what definitely wasn't going to happen was that you were going to slip back into anonymity and slip away.

It took Jaebum a moment to register that the song had ended and it seemed like it held the same effect for you as you stood on stage, unmoving with the mic dangling at your side. Only with some hushed sounds and waving from the stagehands did you realize that you needed to clear the stage. Your walk turned into a speed walk which turned into a full-on sprint as you dashed off stage and Jaebum dashed after you. He ran down the millions of stairs from the balcony to the main floor, cursing the fact that he decided not to sit with the other judges. That was just a stone toss away from you instead of the winding maze he was doing now.

Jaebum didn't even bother to run towards the stage as he made a straight beeline to the back where the other contestants where. Upon arrival, all he saw were people setting up or tearing down and getting ready to go. You were nowhere to be found. He ran from room to room, down one hallway and down another but you seemingly had vanished into thin air. Jaebum hit his clenched fist against a wall in frustration. "You have to be fucking kidding me!" He couldn't believe that you had managed to escape. You! You were the key to his music! To finally unlocking all his music and he had let you get away. Jaebum dashed from room to room, even opening some closed doors only to be met with gasps from changing patrons which he quickly blushed, mumbled an apology and promptly closed the door to open up a broom closet and being hit square in the face with a falling mop. "Fuck!" he growled in frustration. Jaebum walked away from the treacherous closet and tried a few others but those were all locked. He was at the last door in this particular hallway, his hand hovered over the doorknob but this one was clearly ‘Janitor's Closet'. His hand was grasped around the knob and just about to turn it when he heard a voice that he could've sworn was yours.

Jaebum ran towards the sound only to come to an open reception area. He closed his eyes, rubbing his temples at his mounting frustration. Jaebum chewed the inside of his cheek, he wasn't a quitter. He found solutions.

Jaebum jogged to the event coordinator's office and asked to see the sign-up forms for all the contestants today. The woman behind the counter was a little bewildered and wouldn't hand the papers over. This was the first time Jaebum found the fact that she didn't know who he was to be detrimental.

"Sorry. Let me clarify. My name is Im Jaebum and I am one of the judges. It is of the utmost importance that I am able to examine the sign-up papers for the contestants of this event."

The older lady was not buying whatever he was trying to sell. "How do I really know you're Im Jaebum," she asked, narrowing her eyes at him pointedly. Jaebum sighed, pushing his hand through his hair before fishing out his wallet and handing her over a piece of ID on it with his face and name.

"Please ma'am. The papers."

"How do I know you're the real Im Jaebum and not an imposter. I hear you can make a fake ID these days quite easily…." she said, tapping his ID card on a nearby table to see if it would magically explode or something of the like.

Luckily it was at that moment that one of the main event organizers was walking by and saw Jaebum. Jaebum smiled relieved. "Mr. Oh, Will you kindly vouch for this very, very, very diligent worker that I am a judge?" he asked through gritted teeth. After a few more minutes of convincing, Jaebum was finally leafing through the papers until he came across the one for you complete with your picture glued to the application. Jaebum entered your number into his phone and set your contact picture with the picture that was on your application. He smiled genuinely for the first time in a long time. "_________. I'm going to find you. Just you wait." he muttered to himself as he pocketed his phone, neatly collected the papers and returned them to the staff member.

The music had been overwhelming but still, you endured. The sound of your voice and the swell of the instrumental accompaniment was more than you could ever dream of hearing. It sounded like all the songs you had composed in your head using the bits and pieces of whatever you could hear but at the same time, so much more. It was a hard thing to explain to feel like you've known something all your life, have it missing then suddenly and all at once, be immersed in it. Your voice wavered but never cracked as you finished the song, the final notes lingering in the air, the auditorium silent. The only sound that you could hear was the thundering of your beating heart and your ragged breath that followed. The applause was slow but as it grew in size, it drowned out your heart and the tears that you had been holding back erupted. It was too much. The music. The sounds. It was all just too much.

You bolted. You don't remember much about what happened next but all you could remember was the flashing of blurred faces as you ran. Ran as hard as you can looking for somewhere to hide. You needed to just decompress. You needed to process. You had tried multiple doors before you found one that would open. It was a janitor's closet but you didn't care. You pressed yourself into the corner and dropped down, gathering your knees into your chest, squeezing your eyes closed and hands covering your ears.

You had to just concentrate on your breathing and not the constant ringing in your ears. In. Out. In. Out. In. Out. Your heart was still hammering in your chest but you could no longer tell if that was because of what had happened or how hard you had been running. When you finally felt a modicum of your control return back to you, you sat flat on your bum in the closet. Your hands were shaking and it seemed like no matter what you did you couldn't get them to still. The music. Oh, the music had been beautiful. It had been everything you ever dreamed of and more. Being able to hear it in its entirety only made you more determined to be a part of that world but not only that, it confirmed that you could never go back… go back to not being able to hear.

Only after a few more minutes had passed that it dawned on you. Amidst your panic and being overwhelmed you never thought about the implications. What did it mean that you had been able to hear the music. "Shit." you mutter to yourself rubbing your eyes again and resting your head against the wall. "Fucking shit." Your soulmate. They had been within the allowed proximity to trigger your inability to completely vanish and you hadn't realized. They weren't just a partial match… they were a complete match. The hardest to find and you had bolted from the area. You groan gathering your knees up to your chest again and wrapping your arms around your legs. Resting your chin on your knees you stare at the wall across from you. You were never one to worry about your soulmate. You were of the firm opinion that if you found them you found them, great; if you didn't, it wasn't the end of the world but to have been in the same building or maybe even the same room as them and not found them felt… lacking. But it wasn't even just lacking… it was like you had the winning lottery ticket and you had lost it. It was a weird sense of loss that you couldn't describe. It was as if somehow your body knew, knew that your soulmate was close and now it yearned for that person even more so but you couldn't give your body… your soul what it desired. It was an ache. A slow and throbbing ache.

Your breath hitched in your chest and your eyes went wide as the doorknob jiggled. You stared at the door willing the person on the other side to go away. You couldn't really explain why you were in this closet and would rather not have to. You knew your face was tear-stained and probably not presentable anymore and you just didn't want to deal with people. You didn't want to have to deal with anyone yet. You wanted to wallow and attend your pity party for one for just a little bit longer before you had to face the world again. It seemed like your silent prayer worked as the door remained closed and whoever was standing on the other side of it went away. You let out a breath you didn't know you had been holding. You squeeze your eyes shut again before you crawl towards the door. Reaching upwards you gently turn the knob and open the door just a crack and peer out to make sure there was no one outside so you can make your escape. You slowly poke your head out and once you confirmed there was no one around, you gathered your strength and bolted from the closet, making a beeline for the exit with only home and the safety of your bed and comforter in mind.

It had been two days. Two days since the whole talent show fiasco. Two days that you had holed up in your apartment not answering any of the group messages or the multiple phone calls from your bandmates. You knew they were worried but you couldn't answer questions when you yourself still couldn't really understand what had happened. You had turned off your phone not wanting to hear the constant pinging and reading the constant messages asking where you were and if you were ok. Apparently, your bandmates had had enough. With Sasha in the lead, they stormed your apartment followed by a string of apologies from Meri. You had given Meri a key to your apartment for emergencies which Sasha had commandeered. She was personally leading this raid on your apartment to make sure you were still alive.

"You look horrible," Sasha said regarding you with cool eyes, hands on her hips. You were sure she was right. You hadn't moved from your bed unless it was to feed Sir Fat Butt. You had cereal strewn about your comforter as you casually tried to brush some of it off like that would fix the problem. You could hear the others starting to clean around your apartment and Annie in the kitchen clanging around which meant she was probably going to try to feed you. Your eyes narrowed at Sasha wondering what her duty was. "Up." She commanded. "C'mon, get up. You can use a shower." She muttered as she pulled your comforter off of you and you were reluctantly shoved into your bathroom. "You better shower before I go in there and make you shower," she warned. You chuckled sure that Sasha would definitely follow up on her threats, the small girl didn't make idle threats after all.

You showered quickly and as the water was running down you realized how lucky you were. Your friends loved you so much and you had worried them unnecessarily. You towel off and get dressed in clean clothes and go out to meet your friends. You could tell they had all been worrying about you by the looks on their faces. When your lip starts to quiver with how bad you feel about adding to their stress, they all gather around you and hug you tightly. They all take turns hushing you and reassuring you that no one was mad and that it was ok. You hold onto your friends tightly, not knowing what you had done in your past life to be so deserving of such kind souls in your life. You hear Sasha sniffle as she brushes something away from your eyes and clap her hands.

"Ok. Enough of this. Let's eat yeah?" She said dispersing the group and you all sit down and settle around the table.This was exactly what you needed. You needed them. You needed the support of your friends and only when everyone was full and you were feeling more like yourself again did you finally manage to convince them that it was ok to leave and you would be more present and answer their texts.

"Ay, remember to turn your phone back on your cheeky little butt." Thomas scolded as he handed you your phone as they were all leaving. You hugged them all goodbye before plopping yourself onto your couch and staring at your phone. You turned the device back on and saw how many multiple messages and missed calls you had from your friends. You smiled. You loved them so fucking much. You had all been friends before you started the band together and since you didn't have your family around anymore, they had become everything to you. They were your friends, your family, your support network and you would all do anything for each other.

As you were scrolling through the messages from your friends you notice a text from an unknown number.

[Unknown 11:43 PM] Is this _________'s phone?

[Unknown 11:56 PM] Sorry to disturb if this isn't… but I'm pretty sure it is?

[Unknown 1:03 AM] Sorry this is probably a little… creepy but I am Im Jaebum, the composer. I was at the charity event you performed at and I have an opportunity for you if you're interested in music. Please contact me. Anytime.

You stare down at your phone and the series of messages. You blink, your mind blank staring at the screen unable to make sense of the words displayed. What do they mean they're Im Jaebum? Im Jaebum the composer? Like the actual Im Jaebum? You had heard that he was supposed to be a judge at the charity event but how did he get your number. There were so many questions that suddenly ran rampant through your mind. How did you even know that this was Im Jaebum and not some catfish serial killer that was going to wear your face. Your eyes narrowed and figured since they clearly already had your number, there was no harm in reply….

[_________ 2:45 PM] Um. Hello. How do I know this is really Im Jaebum and not a serial killer.

You press send and waited a few moments before your phone pinged. You were surprised that ‘Im Jaebum' had replied so quickly.

[‘Im Jaebum 2:47 PM] Haha. That is probably for the best that you were suspicious. Better safe than sorry right? How would you like me to prove my identity? A picture?

You took a moment to think about the question. No, a picture wouldn't work because the serial killer could just go into some deep search and pull some weird Jaebum selca… no. Something live would be best…

[_________ 2:53 PM] Facetime?

You hesitate, your finger hovering over the send button. What if this was actually the Im Jaebum? What would you do then? Steeling your nerves, you press send.

When your phone rang with an incoming Facetime call you almost drop your phone. Luckily it only hit the couch and fell into the mysterious beyond but after you fished around quickly, you were able to answer it.

Jaebum's face appeared on your screen and you were thankful that Annie had made you presentable with a little bit of eyeliner and a touch of lip gloss that had survived the food.

"Ah, _________. Sorry to interrupt your day like this. Have you had a chance to think about my proposal?" He asked.

Proposal? Why are you proposing to proposing to me Jaebum… we don't even know each other. You thought before your kicked yourself mentally.  He was talking about his business proposition.

"Ah yes. What kind of opportunity did you have in mind?" you ask curiously.

"I'm looking for an assistant of sorts to help me with my music and I was impressed by you and what you had to offer at the charity event and was wondering if you'd be interested. We can discuss the terms of your employment face to face if you'd like. … Well that is if you still don't think I'm a catfishing serial killer." he chuckled and you felt your cheeks heat up with a blush.

"Oh yes. Well. Like you said, better safe than sorry. When were you thinking of meeting?" You ask.

Jaebum glances at something off screen and you can hear some clicking. You assume that he's probably looking at his schedule or planner to see when he was available. This was Im Jaebum you were talking to, the most sought-after composure and music producer right now.

"Um if it's possible can we do this afternoon? It seems like that's the only time I'm free. Probably early evening given what time it is now. Shall we say 5 at my studio?" he asked, his eyes flicking back up to the camera and seemingly straight through you.

"Yeah sure. That works for me. Just … text me the details and I'll see you then." You agree. He nods and you both exchange goodbyes and the call ends.You sit a little disoriented on your couch. The sound of your clock echoing throughout the room. Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

"OhmygoshI'mgoingtogomeetImJaebuminlessthan2hoursandpossiblyworkforhimdoingtheonethingIwantedtodoallmylife."

The words tumbled out of your mouth without so much as a breath between them. You flop flat on your back on your couch and stare at the ceiling. "Can I even do this?" you wonder out loud to yourself. You had heard the rumors of Jaebum's inability being that he couldn't hear music which is the same as your's but he's had professional practice getting around that… If you were going to the studio to help him work on his music did that mean his… girlfriend or whatever would be in the room with you as well so he could hear what he was working on? Did they even have to be in the same room? You suddenly felt like you knew nothing at all and you had to somehow figure out how to get to Jaebum's studio.

You shot a quick text to Sasha with the address of where you were going with strict instructions that if you were not heard from again tonight to please send police to that address.

After paying the taxi driver, your hand rested on the handle. "I could leave right now and he'd be none the wiser," you muttered to yourself. The taxi driver waited patiently as you finally gathered your thoughts and pushed open the door, exiting. You stood in front of a daunting building, staring at it not sure of how you could proceed… You figured it would be best just to walk straight up and hopefully talk to a security guard or receptionist of something of the sort and maybe just maybe, they'd be able to lead you to where you were supposed to go.

As luck would have it, Jaebum had the foresight to give your name to the attendant and they lead you to Jaebum's studio. With a quick tap of your knuckles on his door, it opened to reveal the composer. It was weird to see him in real life. He was a lot more handsome than you were anticipating. It was surreal that you were standing there and then he smiled and you forgot how to breathe for a second. It should be illegal for someone to be this… good looking. You thought to yourself.

"Hi _________! Welcome! Come in come in!" he ushered happily, gesturing to a leather couch he had in his studio.

You perched on the edge of the seat as he sat down in his chair.

"So before we talk about business I want to show you something I've been working on," he said enthusiastically. He turned around and started pressing some buttons on his music equipment.

"Actually my inability doesn't allow me to he--" the words died on your lips.

Suddenly the room was filled with music and you could hear everything. You didn't understand. Your eyes flicked back and forth between the equipment and Jaebum. You let the music play out and fade into nothingness. The room was silent as neither one of you moved.

"W-w-what? What does this mean?" You ask shakily.

Jaebum looked at you with a bright smile on his face replacing his usual expression of coolness. "Don't you get it? We are a complete match. We are the complete match. We are soulmates." His eyes were twinkling as he laid it all out plainly for you.

You were sure you looked like a trout with your mouth hanging open and then closing but you just, you couldn't believe it. You watched with Im Jaebum. The Im Jaebum?! What were even the odds of that? Probably less than the odds that people end up finding their complete match but here you were, you found your complete match and it was him. You didn't understand. What did he want from you then? Did he want to start dating you? God, surely he didn't want to just marry you right off the bat, that'd be absolutely insane! Insane! There were a million different thoughts running through your head when you realized that you didn't know the man sitting in front of you. You had no idea who he was as a person, his ethics, his morals, other than what his name was, what he did for a living and the rumor of how he treated women. You didn't want to be just another one of those tabloid cases…

"I know this might be overwhelming for you but once I met you I knew I had to see you again. It would be insane to think that we would meet the way we did and I don't expect anything of you. Please know that. I just want the opportunity to work with you like I said over text earlier." he explained.

"We are soulmates which means we both share the same inability. The inability to fully hear music but when we are together, I, we, we can hear everything. Everything _________! I want the opportunity for us to work together. For both of us to fully be able to experience the music. You want to become a singer right?" he asked.

You nod slowly, trying to wrap your mind around the idea of working with one of the composers you had idealized for the better part of your life.

"Well after working with me I'm sure there will be so many agencies lined up to sign you that you will have your pick of the litter. So what do you say _________? Will you work with me?" Jaebum asked enthusiastically.

You kept blinking. All he was asking for was that you worked together. Surely you can handle that. He wasn't asking for your hand in marriage.

"Yes. I would like that," you said softly. At that, Jaebum showed you the most brilliant smile you had probably seen in your entire life as he clasped your hands in his.

"To the best working relationship, there ever was!" Jaebum declared.

Over the course of the next few weeks, you worked quite closely with Jaebum as he taught you the in's and out's of the industry. Not only did you help him work on his music, he helped you develop your talents. Now that you were able to hear yourself sing, you were starting to take vocal lessons and together, you were composing music. It was some of the most fulfilling work you've done and it made you so incredibly happy to be able to do so.

Not only were you learning about what it took to be a singer and improve, you were also learning a lot of Jaebum himself. You learned that he was uncomfortable displaying aegyo but had affection for his parents and would act cute for them without hesitation. You learned that he was hyper-aware of his facial expressions and feared that people would think he was ‘unapproachable' or ‘mean' or ‘angry' whenever he wasn't smiling just because his resting face was a little emotionless. You learned that he took care of people subtly, quietly in the background and preferred not to take credit for things like that. You also learned that one of the reasons he didn't do a face reveal was that he was shy to a degree. He didn't like to be the center of attention like that. He wanted his music to stand on its own and in a way, be completely detached from who he was in a person. His vision for his music was that when people heard it, they would only hear about the music, think about the lyrics and not about the person who wrote it. You found that quite admirable of him.

You explained everything to your bandmates. They were just as shocked as you were when you revealed that you had gotten an opportunity to work with Jaebum that you couldn't turn down and they completely understood. They didn't make you feel guilty about accepting the offer or anything and were just genuinely glad for you. You owed so much to them. You want to make them proud. You want to learn all you can and show them just what you can do, to show them that their faith and love in you is not misplaced.

The more time you spend together the more you come to realize just how fundamental the soulmate bond is. Your complete match is something that is so hard to explain. It is like the other person is ‘perfect' for you. They understand you without having to exchange a lot of words. You are more than just compatible it is as if you were made for one another. You compensated for the shortcomings and together, you were much stronger than you were alone. It was natural that you fell for him. He was amazing. He had fully immersed himself in the world of music and extended his hand to you. He took care of you just little things like he had brought a throw into his studio once he noticed you wearing your jacket. He made sure that the studio had the brand of tea you liked even though he didn't drink or like tea. Just little things that made it impossible for you not to fall in love with him but with that knowledge, you were also scared. He had clearly laid out what this relationship was to be. He had stressed that it was to be a professional, working relationship; nothing more. It would be.. unwise of you to expect anything more from him but despite how hard you fought it, you found yourself slipping further and further.

It was an afternoon like any other and like many of those that had already passed. You were a little early to meet Jaebum at the studio but you didn't mind working on your own lyrics while he tended to other things. You were about to knock on the door when you could hear the muffled sound of Jaebum talking to someone on the phone.  You were about to walk away when you heard your name mentioned. You were curious and pressed your ear to the door.

"No, she isn't a distraction. I know we're spending a lot of time together but she's good for my music."

"Yes, I understand."

"No, it isn't like that. There is nothing romantic between us. It is a purely professional relationship."

"With her, I can hear everything. The music. All of it. That's the only reason I'm keeping her around."

"Yeah. Ok. I'll talk to you later."

You were barely able to pull away from the door when it swung open. Jaebum regarded you with wide eyes as you tried to play it off like you had just arrived.

"Uh… did you just get here?" He asked hesitantly.

"Yeah! I just got here literally just before you opened the door." You answered, a little too brightly for it to seem natural. You could tell that Jaebum didn't quite buy your act but he let it slide nonetheless. He stepped aside and you walked into the studio like you had all the times before as you both got down to work. Things were off. You could both tell that but you both refused to address it. You were both stubborn as you pushed through but the day was simply not productive. No matter what the two of you tried you were just out of sync and no matter what you did, you couldn't seem to get into the flow of things.

Jaebum pushed his hand through his hair irritatedly and sighed for the millionth time that day.

"Let's just call it a day. Nothing is happening and we are just getting more frustrated." he reasoned which you totally agreed with. You nodded slowly sitting there.

"Hey, _________, are you ok?" he asked concerned as he reached out to touch your arm. You jerk your arm away and Jaebum's facial expression changed, becoming confused and maybe a flash of hurt across his eyes that disappeared just as quickly as it had appeared.

"Sorry. I just. I don't feel well." you said hurriedly as you gathered your things. "I'm just going to go home," you said. Not waiting to hear his answer, you push open the door and escaped. You were walking quickly to the exit when you heard Jaebum calling your name.

"_________! Wait up!"

But still, your gait didn't slow. You hailed a taxi and climbed in, giving him your address, you drove off as Jaebum exited the building and stood there. You watch his figure become smaller and smaller in the side mirror and you can't help but feel terrible.

"I shouldn't have done that. I'm so stupid," you mutter to yourself, blinking back your tears. You shouldn't have had any expectations of him. It wasn't his fault that you fell for him. He never asked you to. Why did it hurt so much that he was expressing how professional your relationship was with his manager? Or you assumed it was his manager. For all, you knew it could be his girlfriend. But still, the ache in your chest you felt in the closet returned. You felt so incredibly stupid. Not only did you manage to make yourself look like a fool, you could've potentially just jeopardized the best shot you had at making something of yourself in this industry all because you just couldn't get your head on straight.

You cried silently in the back of the taxi and thankfully, the taxi driver didn't ask why.

The streak of unprofessionalism continued. You couldn't bear to be in the same room as him. You kept canceling your appointments and trying to reschedule things to a point where Jaebum had to call you.

"What is going on _________? Do you not want to pursue a career in this anymore?" Jaebum asked pointedly.

It took a second before you could make your vocal chords obey. "No. It's not that. I just. I. I don't know." you answered softly.

"I don't know is not good enough. They won't accept I don't know's from you when you have deadlines to meet! What are you thinking?!" Jaebum started to scold you.

You let him continue to ramble on, talking about how irresponsible you were being and how you were sabotaging yourself and if you wanted this you couldn't act like that.

"... is it true what you said the other day?" You ask your voice barely above a whisper.

"What are you talking about _________?" You could hear the irritation in his voice. You would be irritated too if you were him.

"When you told whoever you were talking to on the phone that you were just keeping me around so you could work on your music." You said.

"What? What are you talking about?"

"The other day. You told someone you only kept me around so you could work on your music. That you … " you couldn't bring yourself to say the words ‘not romantically interested' because if he confirmed them, then there would be no solace for you.

"Is that what all of this is about?" Jaebum asked. "Of course I don't keep you around just for that. I… I care about you." he said.

"But do you just care for me like you would a friend?" you asked, a burst of courage coming out of nowhere.

"Of course I care about you as a friend… you know me better than anyone else _________. Are we not friends?" he asked.

You sighed. You felt so foolish. It was clear that your feelings were one-sided and now you looked like an idiot.

"_________? Are you still there?" Jaebum asked, worry in his voice.

"Yeah, I'm still here. Um, I gotta go." You said abruptly.

"What? But we haven't addressed the issue of whether or not we are going to meet our deadlines. You can't just go _________. You have to be a profes--"

You hung up. Only when the tears fell on the screen of your phone in your lap did you realize you were crying. You were being such a big baby about this but why did it have to hurt so much? Surely you wouldn't cry as much if it didn't hurt like this. Your phone vibrated in your hand as Jaebum's name flashed across your screen. He was trying to call you back but you hit decline. You didn't care that you were being irresponsible right now. He had been able to compose before you met and surely he'd be able to compose afterwards too. You were of no consequence to him. You were strong and independent and somehow when you were around him you forgot that. You found yourself wanting to rely on him too much. You looked forward to seeing him just, too much. You had let him in regardless of your boundaries and now you were the only one that was hurt.

You had to end things. You would find a different way to break into the industry without his help. It wasn't like you could unfind your soulmate. You knew who he was. He would always be there but it hurt too much to be around him and know that he didn't reciprocate your feelings. You didn't want to be that sappy dumb girl that yearned for a boy that would never love her back. That wasn't who you were! You copped out and wrote Jaebum a text explaining that unfortunately, you wouldn't be able to continue working with him because your bandmates really needed you and that you didn't want to let them down. You told him you appreciated the opportunity he had given you by letting you work with him and you'd make sure to carry on everything he had taught you.

You didn't give him a chance to reply before you blocked his number for good measure. You didn't need him contacting you to try to sway your decision. This is what you wanted to do. This would be the best thing for the both of you. He could continue on being an award-winning composer and you would find a way to sing again.

Your bandmates were excited to have you back. They tried to ask you about your experience but after some clipped answers, they dropped it. The days drifted by until the ache was less painful until it was just a dull thrum in your chest. You knew what you wanted. You knew why your soul ached. It wanted to be with Jaebum. You wanted to be with Jaebum but he didn't want to be with you. So you pushed on. You lived every day, just day by day, concentrating on producing music with your band and practicing singing the best you could.

There was an up and coming showcase for the agency that Jaebum worked for and it was revealed that Jaebum would be performing. Actually doing a live performance at this showcase which was absolutely unheard of for him. Despite yourself, you bought a ticket. Just because you weren't talking to him didn't mean you couldn't come and support him. You knew how hard he worked despite his reputation as a womanizer. You knew just how much music meant to him and how far he would go to produce his music so you could do this little bit for him. It was actually very hard to secure a ticket given the novelty of Jaebum's face reveal but luckily you were able to secure a ticket with one of the staff that remembered you used to work with Jaebum. You thanked her profusely and she ensured that it was no trouble at all.

The night of the performance you were a bundle of nerves. It had been a few weeks since you had seen him but you were sure he was even more nervous than you. You were attending the event alone and it didn't take you long to find your seat.  You looked over the program and you saw the Jaebum was closing out the show which made sense since he was the main attraction. You also knew that Jaebum would know that you were here. In this building because you would both be able to hear all the acts tonight without any hindrance. The knot in your stomach only tightened when the lights dimmed and the show began.

Everyone had been spectacular. You could see everyone's hard work paying off and all those long hours of practice, they were finally able to show off all that they had been working for. You clapped enthusiastically for each act as it concluded and when it was time for the final performance of the night, you thought that you were going to throw up. Jaebum walked on stage dressed sharply as a single spotlight followed him over to the piano that had been set up for him at center stage. He sat down and adjusted the mic.

"This song is for someone that I undervalued. When I thought what they gave me was all I could accept and only when they left did I realize the void that they had left behind."

With those final words, your song filled the auditorium. Correction. It was the song you and he had been working on and the one you had abandoned halfway through. He had finished it. He was singing your lyrics. You were crying again but you weren't the only one. Many of the people around you were tearing up at the song. This was the power of music. The ability to be able to touch so many souls and convey such moving emotions. It was so powerful that you just felt swept up. Though Jaebum was known for composing and producing, his voice was like honey. It was smooth and rich and so warm. It enveloped you and made you crave more.  It felt like an eternity had passed but at the same time, it feels like it ended too soon as the final notes lingered in the air.

When Jaebum was done, he got up, bowed and exited. The roar of the applause was deafening as you excused yourself. You had been an idiot. You knew you were an idiot but now it was confirmed. You needed to see him. You gathered your dress in your hand as your excused yourself and ran backstage. You ran down what seemed to be a million endless hallways and ran into half a dozen security guards. You kept getting stopped and then you saw him. Your eyes met and he froze.

"_________?" He asked unsure as if he were seeing a ghost.

"Um. Hi." You said waving awkwardly. You look up at the security guard and with a grunt, he let you pass.

"_________. I can't believe you're here." Jaebum muttered as you made a beeline towards him.

"I'm going to kiss you." You said looking Jaebum straight in the eye. "If you don't want me to. Say no. But if you don't, I am going to kiss you." you said. Jaebum's eyes widened but he didn't say no and he didn't walk away. You stood up on your tiptoes and moved your face closer to his, giving him plenty of time to pull away before you pressed your lips against his. The kiss was tentative at first. You were hesitant and it was nothing more than the two of you pressing your lips against each other's but when Jaebum's started to move against yours, it changed.

His kiss grew hungry as his arms wrapped around you and pressed you up against a wall. It was only when the security guard cleared his throat that the two of you separated. Jaebum cleared his throat sheepishly.

"Um. Ok. Yeah. Me too." He grinned holding onto your hand tightly. "Do you want to go talk in private? Back at my place or something? Or your place? Someplace not here?" he asked.

"I vote not here. Not here would be great." the security guard quipped.

You couldn't help the giggle that came out as Jaebum grabbed your hand and ducked out of the nearest exit. You were able to hail a taxi in no time at all and sat on your best behavior in the backseat despite Jaebum giving you seductive glances. Through the whole taxi ride, your hands never left each other and it took no time at all for you to reach Jaebum's apartment. It did, however, take him a little bit of fumbling with the keys before he finally got the door unlocked.

Once he got you inside of the apartment Jaebum gathered you up in his arms and kissed you, hard, and hungry. "I should've done this the first time I saw you. This was the only thing I could think about seeing you on stage. Just how incredible you were." He said in between his kisses. You laughed and turned around.

"How about you help me out of this dress?" You asked moving your hair from the zipper found at the back of the dress. Jaebum laughed as he unzipped your dress and it slipped off your shoulders. It didn't take much longer for the both of you to find yourselves free of all hindrances and on Jaebum's bed.

His hands roamed your body, his fingers ghosted against your flex and found themselves soon against the apex of your thighs. Your breath hitched as you felt his finger press and dip against you, eliciting a soundless moan as your lips parted. Jaebum took advantage of that fact as he started kissing you again, invading your mouth with his tongue as he left his imprint on you. His finger delved into you as you reached down and wrapped your own hand around his hardened length. Jaebum groaned against your neck.

"Yes… just like that. That feels so good." Jaebum cooed. You could feel the wetness between your legs start to pool. You needed him. You needed him so desperately.

"Jaebum… please. I want you." You begged softly. His eyes twinkled with delight as he rolled over to his nightstand and retrieved a condom. Once he had it, he maneuvered himself between his legs. You widened your legs for him and when you were relaxing, preparing yourself to be filled to the brim with him, you felt his tongue on you instead.

"Jaebum!" You moaned, throwing your head back and clutching the blanket underneath you. Your breath was coming in pants as he stroked and parted you using his tongue, his fingers expertly dipping in and out of you, mimicking what would happen in just a few moment.

"Oh, baby you taste so good." Jaebum purred against you. Your fingers entangled themselves in his hair as your back arched.

"Please Jaebum… I need you inside of me. Please… I won't last much longer." you plead and he obliged. Sheathing himself, he lined up to your entrance and in one fluid movement, entered you.

"Ah…" he groaned out appreciatively.

The sound of Jaebum's hips hitting yours echoed off the walls and it was a sound you would never get tired of hearing. His lips closed around a hardened nipple which only made you wrap your legs around him. Jaebum chuckled softly, adjusting to this new position but he didn't let it slow him down much. If anything, it only increased his pace as a thin sheen of sweat covered both of your bodies.

"Baby, I'm not going to last much longer…" he groaned, burying his face into the crook of his neck, the slight shift in angling had him now hitting that special spot inside of you that made you feel like you were going to explode. You couldn't even formulate the words to answer him back but instead, a strangled cry erupted from you as stars exploded behind your closed eyes. Jaebum tensed and grunted loudly as he too, reached his climax. He laid atop of you trying to brace his weight on his elbows as you both caught your breath. Jaebum kissed the tip of your nose as he rolled over. You chuckled slightly as you stretched out, feeling better than you had in a long time. After Jaebum cleaned up, he brought you a towel to wipe off the sweat. He pulled you gently towards his body and held you close.

"I… didn't think this was going to happen," Jaebum admitted softly. "Before you, there was only the music for me. That's all I wanted out of life and I guess that's why I didn't realize..  Just what you meant to me until you went berserk." he chuckled.

You gasped in indignation and slapped Jaebum's arm playfully. "I didn't go berserk!" you defended.

"Let's not kid ourselves. You definitely lost it for a little bit there." He chuckled. "But I'm glad you did because if you didn't, you wouldn't have been able to break the composure of the composer." he laughed.

You grinned like a fool as you cuddled closer to Jaebum, holding onto him. "I think I love you," you said softly.

Jaebum's arms wrapped tighter around you. "I guess with a soulmate bond it's pretty inevitable huh… I never expected someone like you to come into my life but I'm glad you did. You bring a soundtrack all your own and now it's all I can hear. I love you _________."

[beautyisyours]

GNAWING AT THE BONES

After my breakup with Betty Boop, I was pretty down in the dumps for a while. I went on dates with a few girls, but nothing serious. That is, until the day of “The List.”

In case you didn’t already pick up on it, I’m a little OCD. So I really like lists. I list the times, places, and locations I need to be every single day. Before the show, I list segments that we are going to do in order of how good I think they will be. After the show, I change that list and list them in order of how well they went on air. I list my favorite soaps. I list my favorite teas. So of course I had a list of pretty girls I wanted to come on my radio show.

Rachel Reinert, one part of the three-member hit country band Gloriana, was definitely on The List. In fact, she might have been at the top of it. When we did a bit on air where we picked the ten most beautiful women in country (given the classy title “The Bones’ Babes”), I put Rachel at number one. (People magazine had just come out with their “Most Beautiful” issue and didn’t pick anyone from the country world, which I found annoying. But the real inspiration behind the segment was my newly single status. As I said on air, “I’m putting a bunch of girls who I would want to date on this list.”)

I didn’t think it would actually work, of course! But shockingly, it did, because the day after we aired this list, with Rachel on top, her people called up the show and asked if I wanted the singer-songwriter to come to the studio the following day. No way! I thought to myself. How embarrassing. But my rule is, the more embarrassing something is for me, the more the listeners will probably enjoy it. And of course I thought it would be funny to strike out on the air with a beautiful girl who I knew wouldn’t want to date me. So I agreed. I even made the whole experience even more embarrassing by writing

her a song, which I imaginatively called “Rachel,” that I played for her in the studio. It could have won the Grammy for Song of the Year. Here, let me show you:

Rachel, I think you are so pretty

When I see you, you make my heart all giddy. Rachel, I got you that trophy

Do you like guys like me that are dopey?

 She smiled and laughed uncomfortably as I performed the whole thing for her, as if I were a creepy stalker. As you can see, my song stylings have met with varying responses when it comes to the ladies. Luckily, the tunes I cowrite for my band the Raging Idiots get a better reception. But at the end of her visit I got her cell number. Well . . . I had a friend tweet her friend to get me her cell number. I’m a total ladies’ man, you know. Anyway, Rachel and I started seeing each other fairly soon after. That’s right! She agreed to go out with me. It was very casual at first, as she was on the road a lot and I woke up at 3 A.M. But it turned into a strong relationship.

Rachel was fun to be around. I was just coming off my four-year relationship with Betty, probably the best human I had ever met, and she was a tough act to follow. But going out with Rachel was not only different, but equally good. Betty, who worked in sales, helped me find balance. She was great at that work-life thing, with a successful career and a strong circle of friends and close family.

Rachel, who had signed her first publishing deal in her teens and moved to Nashville soon after, was a lot like me—i.e., a workaholic. You have to be if you want to make it in the music business. She was always on the road with Gloriana, which had toured with Taylor Swift and won the Academy of Country Music’s award for Top New Vocal Group and a Teen Choice award for Choice Country Group. I would have given her an award, too (oh wait, I did: the Bones’ Babes #1 Hottest Country Singer Award). She was one of the greatest singers I’ve ever heard face-to-face. I would just ask her to play stuff around the house so I could hear her sing. Unfortunately, she never asked me to just tell jokes.

Her talent as a performer was only one aspect of Rachel’s appeal. She was also very open-minded in a climate that, in my opinion, can be too judgmental.

Rachel was just cool, but there was never any kind of country music “power couple” thing between us. First of all, I don’t go to many industry events because I’m a freaky, antisocial dude who feels like everyone at those parties either wants to use me or doesn’t like me. (I know, fun.) I didn’t perceive myself as half of any “celebrity relationship,” as some gossip sites called us. I also never really thought of Rachel as famous. She was super talented and driven, and I was attracted to that. Yet I also saw the grind of her job from the inside: the long bus rides, the program directors you have to drive all over the country to talk to in order to get your song on the radio, the many, many struggles of being a recording artist.

Struggling, which we all do, whether you’re a truck driver or a country music star, is what brought a common humanity not just to Rachel but to all the good and talented folks I’ve met in Nashville. Recognizing that beneath the makeup, four-hundred-dollar distressed jeans, and perfect hair (or steamed baseball cap—seriously, I’ve seen some country music dudes get that done to their hats before they go onstage), we’re all just the same. Knowing this to be true is what’s helped me most with my on-air interviewing of celebrities.

Most people, even those in the media, get intimidated by famous folks. Often interviewers are so worried about making celebrities uncomfortable or unhappy in any way that they ask the same questions as every other journalist, which means the famous person gives the same answer over and over until it becomes muscle memory. I think having to say the same thing again and again is the most annoying thing ever for anyone, famous or anonymous. I’m not in the business of making musicians uncomfortable or annoyed (at least, I don’t think I am). So if I can break the verbal rut they’re in, there’s no telling where I can go. Awful or awesome, either way is great.

The way I do this is by humanizing people who don’t seem human to others because of their larger-than-life status. “What did you eat for breakfast?” “Did you have a dog, growing up?” “What kind of underwear do you wear?” I ask about simple stuff that celebrities don’t usually get asked.

I do interviews constantly, in a medium where the conventional wisdom is that they’re not good for ratings. But I’ve always felt that listeners tune out when they hear interviews because most people on the radio or television aren’t doing interesting interviews. We once were given research that compared The Bobby Bones Show to other morning national shows, and what they found was that while other hosts gushed over their guests just for

showing up, my interviews were more of a back-and-forth between peers.

I was happy the research bore out what I hope comes through on my show. Not only do I feel the peer-to-peer quality of my questions makes for more interesting radio, but I do believe it also puts the artist at ease. When Blake Shelton and Miranda Lambert split up, I was the first one who got him to talk in any real way about his divorce, because I talked to him in, well, a real way. Instead of asking him a fawning nonquestion, like “It must be so hard for you,” or making an accusation, like “Was there someone else?” I went at the angle, “You’re famous, and she’s famous. And you guys kept it secret until it was finalized. Now, all personal things aside, how did you do that?” With that Blake was able to separate himself a bit, talk about the law, and then he kind of just went, “Our whole thing was, we are going to be cool about this. It is what it is . . . we’re buddies.” That might not seem like big news to you (and it wasn’t to me), but that interview was picked up by every media outlet from the Today show to CNN to the Christian Post.

Even celebrity listeners, like Tim McGraw, liked what we were doing on the show. Although now we’ve done a few specials together for TV and radio, the first time he was on our show was when he called in to our request line! The country superstar said he was just a fan of the show and that he listened every day as he drove his kids to school. It was so crazy that honestly we didn’t believe it was him, and so we asked him a lot of trivia questions to see if it was really him. (Obviously, he passed with flying colors.) When I moved to Nashville, I had been told, “Tim is really quiet and doesn’t warm up quickly to people.” But that’s not what I found at all. When he found out that I’d never owned or worn a cowboy hat, he gave me the black one he’d worn throughout his whole Las Vegas run. Tim even sent me a murse (man purse) that he had bought but was too embarrassed to wear.

[the-voice-of-hell]

The Septagram

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-   Previous   -    First   -

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***

Rosemarie Miller was walking a cart of looted groceries home through relatively barren streets.  A few homeless anarchists were grooving at a public fountain, hopping through the water to cool off as needed.  She was jealous of their easy-going ways.  The reason the pigs all high-tailed out of the region was always on her mind.  Would she see the murderers?  Would she have to deal with them?

The only reason she’d stayed behind was because she was trying to find her best friend, Jennifer Smith, and ended up missing a window of opportunity for an evacuation escort.  She certainly wasn’t going to risk the wilder stretches of highway without an armed guard, so it was safer just to stay at home, in the flat part of Renton.  The worst part of missing the opportunity was when she finally did find Jennifer, and learned the weirdo had stayed in town for the chance to rip wicked bicycle moves.  Thanks, Jen.

The sky was hot and blue.  That part of Renton was so flat that it felt like being at the bottom of a bowl, decorative hills off to the sides, infinite scorching void above.  She looked at the new stainless steel apartments along the way.  Should she just steal one?  Was that where the anarchists were sleeping at nights?  There was no evidence the door had been jimmied, so probably not.  She reached her apartment, set down the groceries, and fished out her keys.

Suddenly, a distraction.  That dragonfly sound of a bike chain speeding her way.  As much as she knew it was Jen in her head, in her heart it was the murder clubs.  She whipped around to see that goof zipping her way, dorky chipmunk teeth smiling, bleach blonde bob whipping the breeze, big light eyes behind dark-framed nerd glasses.  Her frame was typical of a short, slightly pudgy person, but her limbs were bulging with creepy muscles.  If she dehydrated enough she could do bodybuilding competitions.

“ROSIE!  WHAT DID YOU GET ME?”

Rosemarie wasn’t going to play the shouting game.  She waited until her friend was close enough to hear above the chains.  But Jen didn’t stop, was heading straight toward her now at full speed.  Rose cringed, falling to one knee.

Jen hit the brakes and twisted the bike’s frame in just the right way to spring off the ground with the momentum, spinning three times horizontally as she flew over Rose, and landed with her bike across her shoulders like Jesus carrying the cross.

“WHAT THE FUCK JEN!?” Shouting after all.

“What?  That was fucking sick.  You used to like my stunts.”

“You’re gonna be the death of me!”

“I hope not?  I’m still sorry about that, and I’ll say it as much as you need me to.”  She dropped the bike and sent it rolling to rest by the building’s stoop with one hand.  “I wub you, come on!”  She went in for a hug.

“No!”  Rose held her back with a talon-like finger.  “You’re sweaty and disgusting.”  She relaxed.  “I’ll make you something if you want.  But you need to shower first.”

“Bossanova.”

Suddenly out of the clear sky they heard a thunder crack and peal.  It rumbled and dissipated.  Strange notes played in the wake, like the brass section of the world’s worst marching band, but weak as if from miles away.  They were both looking north to Seattle proper.

“Doesn’t look like a storm,” Jen said.

“Maybe they’re gonna drop the bomb.  Come die with a full stomach, loca.”

***

Clark Upton was a fortunate man.  He had lived a long life of excitement and romance as a dancer, dance instructor, and choreographer in some of the gayest cities in the world.  But this was Seattle, and it was starting to feel like the end of his run.  Although his coughing had cleared up since most of the people evacuated (had he just been allergic to exhaust all this time?), there was apocalyptic air about the events that precipitated the change.

And now there was an apocalyptic air in the literal air outside his apartment.  It had been a sunny summer day one minute, and then clouds began to rapidly form - between the buildings themselves.  He was below those clouds on the seventeenth floor, but he could see that there were apartments in taller buildings that would be above them.  The thunder began as soon as the clouds had, as a rumbling vibration through all the buildings, through the bodies of those still living there.  It was building to a climax of some sort.

“Thurston?  Thurstooon?”  He called for his friend, but couldn’t make himself release his grip on the balcony rail.  This wasn’t right.

Thurston Connor was another gay dancer and friend, staying with him while in town.  The tall beautiful black man with his perfectly shaved head did not come to his call.  Clark began to fear he wasn’t even in the same dimension as the guy.

Then the thunder burst out in a great crescendo and red sheet lightning bridged the clouds and the bus tunnel entrance on the streets below.  Something began spilling out of the bus tunnel.  Dark forms, tumbling and spinning and leaping, shiny instruments in their grips.  It was like someone had taken a paper bag full of different noxious species of insects, shook them up to instill anger, and dumped them onto the ground.

The thunder subsided into a rolling menace, but less deafening than its initial burst.  And under that sound he could hear them.  It was a marching band.

“Oh dear.  I’m having a stroke.”

He laid down on the grate floor of his balcony, amid clay pots and chair legs, and he waited to die.  It was a lonely feeling.  As good as his life had been, he’d known many moments of loneliness and he did not love them.  He wished that he’d had a husband - someone who would be there for this.  But then, it was never in his character.

The wind whipped wildly below him, carrying the discordant notes of the hellish stroke band.  What was that tune?  “Inna Godda Davida”?  Yes, it was definitely in there, scored with the skill of Souza and played with the skill of Bob Log III.  But there were other tunes being played simultaneously - pure torture.  Oh no.  One of the tunes was Billy Joel’s “We Didn’t Start the Fire.”

Clark made up his mind.  Death was horrible, and he couldn’t stand it.

***

A thunderstorm had started in the north.  Must be that summer thunder - not very common in the Puget Sound region, in Park’s experience.  It didn’t look like there were enough clouds to cause any kind of rain, but it was hard to tell because it was very far away.

The headache was getting worse.  He was in a previously vacant house they’d commandeered for barracks.  Normally as evening began to fall, he’d be on the roof.  He’d set up tall chair there so he could get a good view of the neighborhood and radio to get extra attention on anything suspicious.  But this night, he found he was needing rest more than usual, and came down after just a few minutes.

For unit cohesion the guys were living with members of their respective agencies.  All the Tacoma PD plus a few State Patrol and other local cops were sharing this house and the one next to it.  More than half of them were on patrol or other tasks at the moment, leaving just a few guys behind.  They were taking nightcaps and gambling in the living room.

“Hey guys.”

“You want in, Park?”

“Not right now.  We got any good painkillers?”

“Legal or otherwise?”

“Watch it, Rickard.”

He ended up taking some Excedrin from one of the first aid kits on the kitchen counter, washing it down with a beer, leaning there under a bright kitchen light.  He thought about joining the guys out there but really he didn’t want to play.  He just wanted to hang out with Infante.  He was afraid he’d made a bad impression earlier.  Why was he being so weird?  He shook his head, regretted it, then gulped more beer.

Infante came in, grabbing a half-empty bottle of Grey Goose out of the refrigerator.  “Hey boss.”

“Hey, Infante.  You don’t have to call me boss.  Hell, I think we have the same salary.”  He tried to smile but it looked like something crinkled and painful.

“Eh… It’s just easier.”

“I don’t recommend drinking that all by yourself.  Gotta stay in fighting trim.”

“I know.  I was gonna split it.  We got glasses on the table.”

“Good man.”  Why do I keep saying that?  Christ.  He had to get some air again, but up on the roof was too much tension, scanning the horizon for any sign of mischief.  He went out the front door without saying goodbye.

The sky was getting dusky.  People were having a lawn party across the street.  A few children waved at him but mostly they didn’t like police.  One even put his hand on the top of a baby’s head and turned it away from him.  It didn’t bother him too much.

A dark-skinned woman in badly stained clothes staggered in the direction of the party.  Her hair was long with puffy curls of varying sizes and shot through with little bits of plant matter.  She was holding a hammer.

Park resisted the urge to pull his gun and quickly stepped between her and the party.  “Ma’am, please.  Stop.”  Palms up.

She looked at his gun then looked at his face, scowling deeply.  “I need to go.”

“That’s fair but maybe you should lose the tool and clean up a little.  There are children over there.  You’ll scare them.”

“Don’t care.  I need to see Elijah.”

She started walking again and he hustled in front of her.

“At least give me the hammer.  I’ll hold it for you.”

She looked confused, thought about it, picking up the hammer as if she’d forgotten she was carrying it, and then handed it to him.  “I’m gonna need that back.”

He nodded and mutely accepted it, then followed about fifteen feet behind her.  The hammer looked like it had been used to smash up a green compost heap.  New, but recently rendered disgusting.  He shook his head.

She walked up to one of the houses, stood at the porch for a moment scanning the crowd, then went inside.  He hustled to close the distance and stood inside the door, trying to hold the hammer out of sight.  Two little black kids played video games, but the house inside looked too nice to have children.  Visitors.  Park just watched her walking the house, looking for someone, listening to hear if she got in trouble.

Someone almost bowled him over coming inside.  “Excuse me officer.  Need more soda pop.”

“Elijah?  Eliijah?”

The pop seeker yelled.  “He ain’t here!”

She came back into the hall and stepped closer to her.

“Where is he?”

“I don’t know.”

“Well what the fuck are you doing in his house?!”

“Hey!  Calm down!  There’s a cop riiight theeere.”  She pointed at Park.

The messy lady was a little more clearly visible where the light of the kitchen came into the hall.  She was thin, with thick and strongly curled eyelashes but thin eyebrows.  She looked like she hadn’t changed clothes since the evacuations began.

“OK, fine!”  She gestured angrily as she spoke.  “Why are you and these boys in Elijah’s house?  Why are those people on Elijah’s lawn?”

“He knows us.  We’re just usin’ his food and nothin’ else.  He wouldn’t mind.”

Park waved from the entrance.  “We’re here but our priority is keeping people safe in the neighborhood.  You’re not from around here, but you knew the owner?”

She scrunched up in impotent fury.  “Yes I know Elijah.  I don’t know her!  I don’t know them!”

The boys didn’t like the look on her and jumped up, running past Park out to the lawn.  The game beeped and yelled at nobody, controllers on the scuffed up old hardwood floor.

Park took a step toward her and offered a calming gesture, palm down.  “You’ve been out there, right?  Fighting your way here to find your friend?  Listen.  You can just stay in this house.  Take a bath, wear some of his clothes, catch some real rest, OK?”

The soda hunter said, “Mm-mm, that’s between y’all.  I’m just gonna get this soda pop and get, alright?”

The skinny lady blew past Park to head outside again.  He turned to follow her.  She started asking party goers.  “You know where Elijah is?  You know where Elijah is?”

Park held the hammer behind his back and offered a sympathetic look to the people.  To a woman nearby, he quietly offered, “I can do something about her if you need me to.”  She shook her head.

“Ippy.  I know you.”  A Q-balled thirtyish guy with strong arms regarded the skinny lady.  Nobody turned down the music - some R&B diva going off the rails.

“I don’t know you.”

“We went to high school together.  You me and Elijah.”

“I don’t remember you.  Do you know where Elijah is?”

“Maybe he was at work when the shit went down, ended up evacuating before he got home.  I haven’t seen him since it all happened.”

She shook her head slowly and looked stricken.

The bald guy looked kindly, “Aw girl, it’s OK.  He’s probably fine.”

“I don’t have anyone.”  She turned around and went past Park back to Elijah’s house.

The guy looked hurt.  “What am I?  Chopped liver?”

Park followed her into the house.  In the living room, he got assertive.

“Ma’am, stop.  Look at me.”

She stopped in the hall and slowly turned.  Park did not like the look on her.  He’d seen the expression on other people before - like they had their own lives, whatever was going on was the most important thing in the world, and that every cop in the world could blow away and they wouldn’t care.

“You don’t have to stay here, you can do what you want.  But get a grip.  Clean yourself up.  I am not gonna let you have this hammer back unless you show me you aren’t unhinged.”

“Then keep it.  Go away.”

He nodded and left, closing the door behind him.

Iphigenia was glad to be rid of the cop.  A chance to go cry in peace.  She knew she’d never see her people again.  Everyone died or left her behind.  Her mind was spiralling the drain.  She went to Elijah’s room and walked toward the bed.

There was a big dark shape there - another woman, old, sleeping?  She had her eyes closed, head on a pillow.  But her breathing was steady and easy - not the kind of racket the average person made in their sleep.

No, Ippy did not have time for other people, awake or otherwise.  She went to the poorly maintained guest room.  It had a bunch of half-folded laundry on the bed and she just flopped across the top of them in that slimy stinking condition.

Park had dropped the hammer in a garbage can on his way back to the cop house.  Inside, he saw the poker game had ended prematurely.  Only Infante and Rickard remained, sitting on the couch and looking through a book of DVDs.

“Wanna watch a movie now?  What happened to the game?”

Rickard said, “I don’t know if I wanna watch something, really.  Just...”

Infante said, “The game just got … not fun.  We all started to get the creeps.  Maybe just ‘cause somebody mentioned it, then we all started feelin’ it.”

“Huh.  Yeah,” he looked at some kind of green stain on his hand from the nasty handle of the hammer, “It’s pretty creepy out there.”  He looked back to them.  “But that’s kinda strange.  You guys alright?”

Infante dropped the book, leaned back, and looked at Park.  “You alright?  You look like you’re sleepwalking but somebody wired your eyes open.”

Park felt like he was blushing and looked away.  “That bad, huh?  Fuck it, I’ll try to go to sleep.”  He made a few stops along the way, grabbing a harder beverage from the kitchen and looking around for more useful medicines.

There was still daylight coming through the windows and he shut the curtains as well as he could.  He took off his gun holster and hung it near the bed with care, then stripped to a tank top and boxers.  He turned off his radio, swallowed a ZzzQuil with a glass of ill-tasting rum, and settled down.

A few minutes later, still wide awake.  It was like his eyes didn’t want to shut, were made of lighter material than that.  He sat up, went to a corner and turned on a fan, then returned to bed.  The white noise helped, and eventually the chemicals did too.

***

Maddy and Jason had to hike up a very steep hill to get out of that neighborhood.  Exhausted, they took a rest stop at a lake.  It was surrounded by private residences and they didn’t know which might have some paranoid lingering homeowners with guns, but there was also a senior care home on the lake, and it felt a bit more safe.  There was just nobody in sight.  Not a soul.  Only a few ducks and geese wandered the surface, off in the distance.  Jason felt like splashing some of that water on his face, but knew it would be full of bacteria - and he still had open cuts from the crash.

“A place like this has gotta have a nurse, right?”

“Safe to say she’s out of town, daddy.”

“Ah, but I bet she left some supplies in her office, right?”

“I don’t wanna break and enter.”

“It’s alright.  Anyone would be understanding, given the circumstances.  We can’t exactly motor on over to the nearest urgent care clinic and get patched up, can we?”

“I guess.  But let’s do our best to not surprise anyone, OK?”

They knocked, they yelled, and they broke and they entered.  The place was bereft of human life.  Fortunately, as with most of their journey, there weren’t any corpses either.  Safely evacuated.  They improvised some medical treatment, ate some food, drank lots of water, and ultimately decided to call it a night.

In a room with two beds alongside each other, they laid themselves out.  Maddy insisted to leave the light on, but they lowered the blinds.

“We’re doin’ good, hon.”

“Oh really?  I don’t think so.  I messed up pretty bad today.”

“I would’ve done the same thing at the wheel.  Don’t think about it.  Listen.”

“What?”

“We should steal a car tomorrow.”

“Whaaat?  No!”

“It’s gonna be a reeeally long hike down I-5, Baby.  We shouldn’t have to do that.  You know I avoid talking about the … bad men, but do I have to remind you?  The plan was to breeze by them.  Eighty em’s pee aitch.  Can’t do that on your Keds.”

“They’re New Balance and… I just don’t think it’s good.  Everyone is going to come back, and lots of people are gonna find stuff stolen.  We shouldn’t make anyone go through that.”

“Well listen then, I got an idea.  When we take the car we write down the license plate and make, all that.  And then we use the information to find the people, let ‘em know we’ll cover the damage.  Right?”

“...I guess.  I guess so.”

“OK, snuggle up buttercup.  Let’s catch every Z and make ‘em our bitches.”

“*snrk* That’s horrible.  Good night, Daddy.”

“Good night, Princess.”

Outside the blinds, outside the glass, the night air swirled in an unnatural miasma.  The world was changing.

***

Ippy had cried herself to sleep, hugging Elijah’s clean laundry, making it filthy.  But in the night, her eyes popped open.  Somebody was mumbling.  The old lady in the other room.

She sat up, felt like her body was turning into a statue and she interrupted the process rudely.  It protested by making her movements embarrassing and stiff.  She staggered into the hall, footsteps as light as she could manage, and leaned against the wall outside Elijah’s room, listening.

The lady’s voice was quiet as if she wasn’t talking to anybody, expecting anyone to hear.  And yet, she said, ”Iphigenia.  Come and hear.”  Ippy’s body threatened to freeze solid, her eyes widened.

She went inside, feeling along the wall, not sure if she should turn on the lights.  She decided not to.  “Yes?”

“The Sibyls sing.  Will you listen and understand?”  Her body was still.  A shape.  She was breathing evenly between her quiet pronouncements.  Eerie.

“Not like I have anything better to do.”  Ippy almost choked on her words, but then she took halting steps forward, tried to bend her ear.  The old lady was so quiet.

“They never mattered.  You do.  The murderers will come to you, come to die.  They will break upon you like water.”

“What?  How?  What do you mean?  How can I--”

“It doesn’t matter.  They didn’t matter and their deaths will not matter.  But you do, Iphigenia.  If you only think of them you won’t understand.”

She was standing loose in a midnight blue void.  No light, no understanding.  “Fine, fine.  What do I need to understand?”

“The murderers opened the door.  What comes through will change the world.  But you will decide.  Your hand will decide what that means.”

“I don’t care what it means.  Not now.”

“The die is cast.  Alea iacta est.”  She moaned louder than anything she had said, moved fitfully.

“Ah, are you OK ma’am?  You need help?”

The moaning almost sounded like crying for a moment, but then faded away.  She propped herself up.  “Oh girl.  Can you help me get to the bathroom?”

“Yes.  I can do that.”

It wasn’t easy.  The old lady was closer to four hundred pounds than three hundred, but she put in enough effort of her own to make the move possible.  “Oh Honey,” she said.  Her voice had dropped to the soft tone of her prophesying.

Ippy listened close in case there was anything else to glean.  “Yes?”

“You smell really bad.  God love you, but you need to wash yo ass.”

***

Park’s skull was a house and he was living inside.  He had no curtains.  The miasma of the changing world could pour right in if it wanted to.  Maybe surface tension kept those clouds at bay.  There was a light behind them as well, like the brightest sun trying to get through.  He didn’t want to experience that sun.  He knew it was going to hurt.

He sank into the bottom of his cranium, ass wedged into the dip where the brain stem passed the bony cage.  He covered his eyes and hoped it would go away but the light was getting stronger.  He dared to look and up above, his fontanelle was opening again.

The plates of the upper part of the skull were coming unseamed, a star-shaped light streamed through.  The miasma didn’t reach up there, only that illumination.  With the photons came sound waves, rippling through his body, pinning him in place.  A ring of swarthy old white men stood at the edges of the opening, looking down on him.  They were wearing various togas or standing nude but for sandals.

“What the hell?  I’m trying to sleep!”

One opened his mouth, then another, then another.  A humming sound increased.  He began to know things.  He knew they were the Oracles and that their light was going to consume him whether he wanted it or not.

The light, the knowledge, took shape.  He beheld a vision.  At first it was a relief to escape the weird scene in his head, but he still felt the vibrations and heat passing through his body, and knew it was just a vision of the future.

He was in a throne room.  Infante was suspended from his wrists, stripped to the waist, sweating.  A pale, smiling, red-haired white woman was seated on the throne towering above him.  The throne itself was carved to resemble a camel, head snaking up from between her legs, and a massive bone crown sat above her heavily painted face.  She looked ten feet tall, wide at the bottom with huge thighs, spoke in an unknowable voice.  Every word she said caused Infante pain and he jerked on his chains.

Another creature was behind her, even larger, horned, cloaked in shadow.  And then someone stepped in front of her, holding a familiar hammer.  Park couldn’t see her face but he recognized her big black hair, her dark brown hands.

Then Infante began to scream, distracting him.  He turned around and saw the young man’s body tense, muscled, dripping with sweat.  And his face was taut, wracked.  Something terrible was going to happen.  Park felt his pain and his heart almost burst.

Snap.  Back in his skull, then rolling out of bed.  He hit the floor face first and hurt his mouth and ribs.  Did he bite his cheek?  No, but the inside of his lower lip was pressed between teeth and the floor enough to break skin.  And he needed to go to the bathroom badly as well.  He used the bed to climb up to his feet and staggered that way clutching his belly.

After finishing his business there but before cleaning up, the cop sat on the toilet, his head in his hands.  Must’ve been the ZzzQuil.  He’d never used that stuff before.  But somehow he knew that wasn’t true - knew that he’d seen the future.

“The oracles sing,” he said quietly.  “The story is already written.”

Somebody knocked on the bathroom door.  “You alright in there?”

“It’s occupied, Rickard.  Fuck off.”

***

Morning sun coming from on high in the east, streaming over the hill down into the valley of ghost cows.  The red manure haze hadn’t been kicked up yet, fog still clung to stands of trees near houses and around the road.

Blood and glass covered the road like marble.  Alongside the road, along and under.  The mud was red.  It could all be blood.  There could be so much blood that it would mean somebody was surely dead, and you wouldn’t know because the mud was so red.

Tangled roots in the embankments just teased at a notion of escape but there could be none.  They were too thin and the earth too loose to offer a sure grip.  You’d just be pulling carrots too easily, like Bugs Bunny having a good day.

Maddy was in that muddy ditch again, but it was deeper and the car was more mangled.  She was so worried about her father but he was hard to see through the spiderwebbed glass and maddening distortions of the twisted metal.

Plus she had the monster up on the road to deal with.  What had it been?  Had it lived?  Would it come for them?  She kept glancing up there, half sure she was seeing glimpses of it.  No, she thought.  She would get daddy out and he would be able to stop it.  She knew he would be OK because she had already done this before.

“Just another minute, Baby.  Gotta adjust my baby seat, haha.  That’s all.”

He just kept making inane statements of blithe positivity.  Things that didn’t even make sense.  Was he crazy from blood loss and shock?  Would he go into a coma?

“Nobody keeps a good man down.  I’m like a rodeo made outta dynamite.”

“...I’m working my way up to it.  I’ll get out of here and do a tap dance just to show you how OK I am.  Or make a sausage outta one of these cows.”

“You never knew your mom as well as I did.  She could turn a Vietnamese submarine into a pretzel with her nose.  She was my queen, Princess.”

She banged and slapped the metal, shrieking, hoping he would hear her over his mad droning, knowing he wouldn’t.  She left red handprints up and down the car doors.

Suddenly the car door popped free and open.  She fell against the embankment, looking in at her dad with a sense of fear that she didn’t understand.  He was just sitting there coyly, hands in his lap, thumbs together, smiling.

“Hi, snookums.”

“You have to… to get out...”

“I told you I could do it.  Just let me stretch my legs for a minute.”

He started pushing himself free of the driver’s seat using only his legs.  He kept his hands clasped over his belly, body leaning back in that casual pose.  His legs finally popped him free of the dashboard and began lifting him into the air.  They were too long, too thin - and covered in bark like birch trees.

Maddy woke in a panic, but settled down once she remembered where she was and once she realized she’d been dreaming.  She composed herself and dragged Jason out of bed.

As she tried to penetrate his foggy morning demeanor, she became possessed by a worry that the longer they took getting to the Beacon Hill safe zone, the more things could go wrong - the worse the situation would get.

Jason kept up his sunny demeanor, but went along with her demand for urgency.  They decided that cars from businesses or apartments would be less likely to have angry shotgun grandpas protecting them, and set to finding one.

At last they found a business with a garage that they were able to break into.  The sun outside had just finally fully risen, but they were in relative darkness.  Jason found the key that corresponded to the company car they were going to steal - a charcoal grey Prius advertising pest control on the doors - and pushed its buttons.  With a beep the thing came to life, signal lights gleamed on their lowest setting.

“Paydirt.  And the phone number for the owner is right on the side.  How do you like that, Baby?”

“Thanks for listening, dad.”  She poked around in the gloom for a button to open the garage door.  They were able to get their bodies in through a side door, but would need the big one rolled up to get the car out.

Suddenly they both became aware of a sound growing, coming closer.  A marching band?  One so big it shook the earth.  Maddy had found the switch she needed, but she didn’t dare flick it.  Instead, she gripped an exposed structural beam for dear life, half expecting it to grow into an earthquake.  She looked at her father and he looked at her face, etched in confusion and fear.

The rumbling definitely was coming from whatever was making that music.  It was a cacophony of “When the Saints Go Marching In,” “March of the Gladiators,” and … Miley Cyrus’s “Wrecking Ball”?  The sound and the vibration made it clear, this band wasn’t just marching down the thoroughfare - they were a line stretching from one horizon to the next.

At its horrid climax, the sounds were from all around them, they could hear bodies and metal slapping against the outside of the garage, hear feet running over the roof.  Maddy jumped and collapsed as shadows began to fall in front of the nearest window - the players leaping down from the roof to continue their mad dash over the world.

And just when they thought it was for sure moving away, that their fear could diminish, they heard a joyous voice cry out - echoed by another a hundred feet away, and another.

“QUEEN BYMAAN WALKS THE EARTH.  THOU ART HEREBY SUBJECT TO THE AUTHORITY OF EXALTED LUCIFER!  YOURS IS NOW THE KINGDOM OF HELL!”

The voices died down, piping up again barely audible in the distance, following behind the line of the great unholy band.

“Baby, um… Oh no, Baby!”

She was collapsing under the weight of terror.  He jumped over the car hood to get to her as fast as he could.  Her eyes were wide, her mouth agape, head lolling.  Jason took his daughter in his arms, kissed her sweaty temple, held her close.

“Don’t worry about that, Honey.  It’s nonsense.  Just some… nonsense...”

***

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