#and lily and snape are just the bestest friends

[toorumlk]

hogwarts middle courtyard, 1972

(and if everyone was happy and normal)

[ma1dita]

this will be our year

this was a request! find it here

words: 2.5k

summary: james does his best to plan reader's birthday! it's not as easy as you think

warnings: james is a leader not a planner, fluff!! bestfriend!james returns mwahaha

a/n: so sorry for this being literally two weeks after your birthday anon! life was kicking my ass but i hope you enjoy! writing many characters is something im trying to learn to make more organic

(posted and edited too many times to count 11/6/23)

—

There are a few things in life that James likes to think he’s very good at: making plans, pulling pranks, playing quidditch, and doing absolutely anything he can to make you smile. At first, he would laugh it off when his friends would say you two had something special. He is a gentleman, after all. James is the type of friend any of the girls would trust with a secret, or the one to borrow hair potion from when you’re in a pinch.

He loves to join in the gossip and crash your sleepovers when the boys are being ‘dreadfully boring’ (his words, not yours). He holds your bag when you walk to class (only yours, he’ll push Marlene’s books to the ground and run off laughing), bribes Peter with an extra helping of bacon to move his butt out of ‘your seat’ (whichever one was to the right of him) at breakfast, and definitely writes to his mom asking about what to get you for your birthday (and how much he’s been wanting to ask you out for almost about three years now).

Right... James is a great friend, so when you get all excited about your birthday, gushing about how you want to celebrate this year, he takes one look at the excitement on your face and hatches the perfect plan. Or so he thinks.

“I just can’t wait to celebrate with you guys, and not have to worry about exams, or projects, or boys, or curfew…” you muse, laying across Mary and Remus’s laps as everyone’s gathered in the common room. Sirius, and Peter are chasing each other with throw pillows while Dorcas and Lily share headphones on the other sofa. James beelines towards you, crawling across the open space.

“Boys? What boys have been worrying you, dove?” he says snidely, sneaking towards the space near your belly, looking up at your relaxed figure.

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” Mary giggles, and Remus huffs back laughter as he pats your head. James peers up at you as you smile knowingly.

“It’s a secret.” you smile, reaching out to poke his chin.

“You keep secrets from me now? From your most good-looking, bestest friend ever that plans the coolest awesomest birthday parties for you?”

Well, he did have a point. Ever since he accidentally flung you into the Black Lake third year in a prank meant for Snape, he’s almost always waited on you hand and foot. He had to, for your immediate response to laugh and flip him into the lake ‘qualified’ you as a Marauder (plus he thought you were really pretty—he swore he stopped crushing on Lily the next day.) And every birthday since has been bigger and better. Fourth year was the movie marathon out on the quidditch pitch; Fifth year was the picnic out next to Black Lake, and now you couldn’t wait to see what he has planned.

You look at the boy thoughtfully, smiling down at him and he swears it’s his favorite sight in the world.

“You don’t always have to know everything, Prongs…”

He chases after your hand with his mouth, trying to chomp one of your fingers. Idiot.

“Of course I do, or else no birthday party for you!” he jokes, and you giggle at the notion. He wouldn’t dare. He loves to celebrate you. Maybe this will be the year he asks you out… Is that cheesy? Or lame? James sighs, fussing with a string on his sweater, suddenly silent amongst the chaos of his lively friends. He’s got a lot of work to do.

—

The next week was filled with James’ hasty preparations and all of your friends were put up to the task of making his vision come together. Remus and Peter would get the booze, Mary and Alice would bake the sweet treats, Sirius and Lily were working on decorations, and Marlene and Dorcas were busy enchanting a record player to amplify through the party space James would get ready in the Room of Requirement. He’s been a little high-strung, overcalculating his endless to-do list to impress you.

All of them have been so…busy, and it was a bit lonely. You thought they might plan something with you, or for you, but you haven’t seen much of them in the past few days. Every bump in the corridor or spotting in the common room was a flurry of hushed whispers and giggles at jokes that flew over your head. Even dinner with them has been oddly silent, like watching a film but not being able to penetrate the scene that unfolds.

Peering down at the map one day after class, you see your friends’ names flitting around the map, all of them hanging out together, but not with you. That is, until a big hand nabs the parchment from your grasp.

“Hey!” “Sorry doll, need it for something important.” Sirius grins, pulling Lily along as they walk off briskly.

“Do you guys want to study later?” You call out after them, and they keep on walking, hands in their cloaks. Weird.

Many more of your requests have been denied. It’s a fickle thing, to suddenly feel unwanted in your group of friends. As a Marauder, you’ve earned your place there. But if Remus and Peter didn’t want to sneak out for a midnight snack, and Alice and Mary went shopping already, without you… Marlene and Dorcas were nowhere to be found.

That means you only had your favorite person to badger… James. You drag him into a broom closet after Muggle Studies one day, crossing your arms and looking up at him with frustration.

“Jeez, love, you’re stronger than you look!” He says sheepishly, hands landing on your waist.

“What are you all up to? Where have you been?” The pout on your face makes his knees weak, and it’d be so easy to just tell you….

No…He thinks, hardening his resolve as his thumb reaches out to smooth the crease in your forehead.

“Prongs,” you whine, poking his chest. The dim yellow lightbulb swings overhead, almost clobbering him in the skull.

“Why, you miss me that much?” He grins, prodding at your cheek. It’s cramped in here enough, and he hunches over your frame, unable to stop his smile at the look on your face.

“Yeah. I miss all of my friends. I sound like Moaning Myrtle whining after you lot! I wanna be involved in whatever you all are doing…” Delicate hands pull at the drawstrings of his hoodie and he feels like his chest tightens too.

“Hey, we haven’t forgotten you, so don’t worry, pretty girl. Your birthday’s coming up, right? You excited for that?” James’ thumb rubs at your cheek and he really wonders if, in any other instance, this could be platonic. Surely, you must like him too, right? Everything he does is to make you smile. He feels like he’s in a one-man show trying to embellish himself for your attention, and he’s waiting for the applause. Your hand grabs his as you lean into his touch.

“Got anything special planned?” You ask teasingly, and James can feel the warmth of your smile in his palm.

“For you? Of course.” He squeezes your cheek and you rip away from him, laughing. As you walk out of the closet, your shoulders bump as he wraps an arm around you.

“Don’t worry too much, dove. It’ll all work out,” he says, glad that you’re smiling again. “Wouldn’t let you have a terrible birthday. Never in a million years.”

“Exactly. What type of best friend would you be?” You smirk, walking off to your next class.

The thing is, he hopes you won’t be best friends by the end of it though. James huffs as he puts his hands in his pockets, walking in the opposite direction. This will be the year…. And it’s unsure if it’s a promise to himself or to you.

—

Of course, it wouldn’t be a Marauder plan of action without some mayhem. James had taken it upon himself to organize his big list of to-dos, assign jobs, and make sure everything was set up for your birthday. The Room of Requirement was decked out in enchanted sparklers, a huge cake was adorned by a spotlight in the corner of the room, and all your friends were there to celebrate you. Mary’s putting the final touches on the gift pile before she looks to Sirius and Peter, who are horsing around the room running through the balloons.

“Something’s missing,” she remarks, and the others scamper around to figure out what it is. Lily double checks the sound system for your favorite songs, Marlene makes sure the drinks are flowing and at the table set up in the back. Dorcas whacks Peter and Sirius to stop popping the balloons, and Remus, the smart one, turns on his heel to stomp towards James, who is looking like he could implode from stress at any given moment.

“Prongs…” Remus muses, unsure if he should laugh, or wring his neck.

“What did I forget?” he says sheepishly, looking down at his watch. A balloon pops.

“Did you invite the birthday girl?” Oh shit.

“HAH—Moony, you’re not supposed to be the funny one here, of course I….” his eyes fall down to his scroll of to-dos, looking at the only thing unmarked on his list.

• Get her to come to the best birthday celebration ever.

“I forgot to tell her, didn’t I…”

Right. James might’ve glossed over that one. His nervous laughter shrivels at the sight of his friends’ faces of disbelief as they bombard him with questions and profanities and so, he bolts out of there, trying to find you on the map.

—

Surprisingly, James finds you in the kitchen, sitting infront of a lone cupcake and the house elves singing you the worst rendition of ‘Happy Birthday’ there ever was to magical folk. What should be his plan of action? Acting nonchalant, or owning up to his flub? All of his thoughts go out the window when he sees your despondent sigh at the lit candle, thinking your friends have forgotten his absolute favorite day of the entire year.

“Pretty girl, why are you so sad?” he says, rushing to meet you at the table. You’re pulling at your sleeves and looking at the cupcake in disappointment.

“Did you all forget about me?” you ask, bottom lip trembling at the notion. James shakes his head rapidly, so much so that his glasses are skewed as he looks at you.

“How could we forget the best birthday girl?”

“I’m the only birthday girl, and I haven’t seen any of you today. You didn’t even eat dinner with me,” you pout. Your huff of a sigh blows out the sad little candle, and it almost makes you want to crumple up in embarrassment. Your finger reaches out to sample some of the icing, and you bring it to your mouth, James following the movement with his eyes.

“I’m sorry dove. I might’ve messed up for this one,” he mutters, hating to see you upset.

“If you forgot to plan anything, it’s okay…. You’re not obligated to.” Your head falls to the slope of your shoulder, looking bashful at the idea of being celebrated. But James hasn’t gone all this way to see you unhappy.

“That’s the funny thing about it, erm…. I need you to come with me.” He pulls at your arm, but you won’t budge. How mortifying to conceptualize how you feel in this moment, feeling smaller than ever. A birthday is just a day, after all. Maybe they can make it up to you tomorrow.

“I dunno Prongs, I think I should just go to bed and wake up with a better attitude, yeah? It’s really oka–HEY!” James lifts you out of your chair and throws you over his shoulder, securing you to him before he bolts out of the kitchens. Your vision is blurred and all you can see is the massive muscles rippling down his back as he runs. His bum is quite nice too.

“James Potter, what in Merlin’s name do you think you’re doing? Put me down this instant or I’ll hex you into next week!” You screech, before he puts a silencing charm on you to not alert Filch of your antics. You reach out to hit his buttock as he exclaims, “Ow! Cheeky…. I promise you’ll like this, dove. You really thought we’d forget your birthday?”

There comes a point when he paces back and forth in front of the same stretch of wall and you think he’s insane, talking to himself and turning in circles. After the third lap, he sets you down, your arms crossed and quite stern at the trip he’s taken you on. James smooths your hair down before he looks you in the eyes, standing a bit closer than a friend would, but Godric is he excited to show you his work.

“Ahem. Do you really think I’d forget your big day, pretty girl? It’s my favorite day of the year!” He smiles and you shake your head with a smile. He nudges the door open to reveal all your friends, yelling “HAPPY BIRTHDAY!”

Still inaudible, your mouth is gaping wide in shock, silent laughter escaping your mouth. Marlene and Dorcas carry the cake over to you before they sing in all sorts of tunes, none of them on key and possibly worse than the house elves. The light of the candles caresses the warmth in your cheeks as you look at your friends in wonder. You mumble something like a ‘thank you’ but they can’t comprehend it until Remus undoes the charm, whacking James across the head.

—

Later, James sneaks behind you, throwing an arm around your waist, whispering ‘Happy birthday’ for the millionth time, but he’ll never get tired of telling you how much he cares.

“Are you happy, birthday girl?” he smiles, and you get on your tiptoes to give him a kiss that lands on the corner of his mouth. The applause is back, thundering in his ears before he realizes it’s the sound of his heart when you’re near.

Yeah, this will be the year everything changes. His plans are racking up into a list in his brain as you gaze at him all starry-eyed and smiley. Your friends are all looking at you knowingly, and he can’t wait to get to work, for there is just so much to do.

—

“In case you foolishly forget: I am never not thinking of you.” - Virginia Woolf

taglist: @jsjcue

love me some tunes! i listened to this while writing: this will be our year by lowland hum

[albi-bumblebee]

James Potter headcanons

(These jump around time periods a lot💀)

Mama's boy

Also has the kind of "football player" energy that many mothers find attractive

His parents were always very affectionate with him and he carried that with him to school. He's always touching his friends, but especially Sirius(who didn't know how to react at first bcuz he's vvv touch starved)

Is Romani

His parents only speak Romanes when they’re at home so he’s fluent

He’s a major capital S SIMP for both Lily and Sirius

He's always doodling Lily's name on his papers, making little drawings of her, probably wrote some bad poetry like Ginny wrote for Harry, etc

He is blushing kicking his feet twirling his hair whenever Sirius gives a particularly detailed answer to a teacher's question, he writes angsty letters when they're separated for the summer, whenever Sirius is even slightly bored he will do anything to remedy it (including humiliating their classmates)(to be clear Sirius is also pining over him he's just more subtle)

James was the one who first suggested them making two-way mirrors but Sirius did more of the actual magic because he's better at charms

Whilst James was the leader of the Animagus project because he's best at transfiguration in their group(and also in the school year but i digress)

Is still lowkey a sadist even after he stops bullying Snape

Has Wormtail just chilling in his pocket most of the time

Weirdly good at muggle math

Isn't exactly good at cooking but Lily is worse so he usually ended up making food when they were in hiding with Harry

Owns a "world's bestest dad" mug and would own a “Woman want me, Fish fear me” hat if he was alive during the 2020s

Bisexual and in the seventh circle of denial hell

Had a hero complex from ages 11 to 16

Started to mature after Sirius ran away to his house

Rock Collector!

Is still shit at potions despite his Dati’s(and later Lily’s) various attempts at tutoring him

He and Lily share the same sense of humor(even if she’ll deny it to her death)

Wears a lot of olive green because he knows it’s Lily’s favorite color

Bounces Quidditch strategy off Remus(Sirius hates Quidditch)

Did in fact smoke during his seventh year and into his first year in the Order but Lily convinced him to stop after she got pregnant

and that’s all i can think of rn i may add onto this later

[khwxbeeda]

Q. DO U PREFER PRONGSFOOT OR WOLFSTAR ?????

( romantic relationship )

PRONGSFOOT ALL THE WAY I FUCKING HATE WOLFSTAR

PRONGSFOOT just makes sense ykwim?? They were literally described as "never saw one without the other", the bestest fucking friends, the soulmates. They make so much sense and I'M HERE FOR IT. They're the mad geniuses, the brilliant minds, the awesome power couple that everyone wishes they could be or could date, and I'm obsessed. In SWM James doesn't listen to Lily when she tells him to stop fucking with Snape, but one casual "stop it prongs" and my Manz is SAT. It's actually so hilarious I love them.

Wolfstar... I mostly hate it bc the fandom has turned it so.. so demeaning. Sirius is an extremely intelligent person— McGonagall called him and James "exceptionally bright"— but wolfstar authors turn him into some bimbo with zero sense who had to be kept on a leash by Remus 'Holier-than-thou' Lupin and it just.. frustrates me so much. No matter how you put it, it boils down to this: wolfstar authors hate Sirius. And glorify Remus, who is suddenly sooo smart and such a Casanova and Sirius and James cannot function without his intelligence. Remus wasn't the one who said he didn't need to study for the transfiguration OWL bc he knew everything already, Sirius was. I just had the bimbo-fication of Sirius and the cool-ification of Remus. Like if anyone was the bimbo it was Remus.

If you're a prongsfoot shipper I love you. If you're a wolfstar shipper.. I hope you realise that there are a lot of things wrong with the wolfstar fandom and adopt a healthy way to ship Sirius and Remus.

[spiltscribbles]

Prompt: remus and lily as siblings or half siblings or biological family in any capacity pls 🥺

Oh God!!! Baby!!!🥺🥺��� This is such a favorite AU of mine!! I’m literally— sorta— writing a To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before AU right now and they are the bestest siblings in that!!!  They share a little sister and they are just so cute!! And Petunia is conveniently off in university oaiwefjoiaswejfiogreghoij And I just love Remus and Lily both so much it hurts!!! And so I wanna spit out a bullet point Ficlet at you! And I’m not even sorry just because I love you so endlessly for tossing this into my inbox foiwaeifmkaeoirfgjieoarujoidkioweajgh 

So like in my head, becs that Voldy bitch doesn’t know how to actually world build, the Muggle born children who get their Hogwarts letters, are also invited to join this like support group for ordinary folks with magical children. It’s like a thing that’s held in the Ministry of magic over in London once a month, and the parents are taught about the Wizarding world while their children kind of go to this separate room to intermingle and read Hogwarts; A History with one another, and just vibe, because pure bloods and those close to that have always sorta known one another and such, so this is a nice way for the Muggle borns not to feel so excluded.

So the thing is, obviously Lyall was a wizard, but also we all know I don’t fuck with him lmfao. So I picture that after he leaves for the final time when Remus is around nine, and finalizes the  divorce with Hope, she— being the bad bitch that she is, just marches to the ministry with her half-blood, werewolf son, and demands to learn everything about the world he’s part of, because she refuses to let him be deprived of anything. 

Eventually she becomes one of the tutors for the adult section because she’s such a quick study— being a professor herself back in Cardiff and just being an all around bombshell tbh. So one day, in February of 1970, there’s this ginger haired, northerner who stumbles in with his daughter who looks so much like him that it’s crazy— dimples and smile and upturned nose. Though she has her mother’s eyes, who had past away when she was only seven from a freak car accident.

And when he first shake’s Hope’s hand, he’s like kind of mind boggled over how beautiful she is, and thinks that maybe all wizards just put on some sort of charm to look unearthly, till he finds out that she’s as Muggle as he is towards the end of his visit. And he is just entirely love struck tbh.

And for the next couple months or so, he kind of just yearns from afar, and then spends the ride home to Cokeworth listening to Lily’s excited chortling about her friend Remus who’s apparently a half blood and who likes the same treats as her and knows how to draw things so amazingly, and it isn’t until like May, when he ambles to the other room and realizes that Remus is actually Hope’s fucking son, and he already knows that she said she began this group after separating from her husband who was a wizard himself. So Lily’s father— Nate— quite literally just shoots his shot and asks if Lily would like to get ice cream with her new friend since Petunia won’t be coming back from there Grams’s house till late, and Hope sorta smirks from over the kids’ heads because she sees exactly what he’s doing and is impressed that he’s finally done something for fuck’s sake.

And like obviously they fall hard for one another, and they probs get married like Lily’s second year at Hogwarts.

Wait, just Lily’s you ask??

Yes my beautiful duckling,  because plot twist!! (We lovee plot twists!!!)

In this AU i picture that McGonagall kind of visits during the summer months leading up to the children’s first year at Hogwarts, just to give them some supplementary readings and answer the questions for their future schooling, and when Dumbledore tells her about Remus’s full situation with his lycanthropy and all, she does some research, and figures out how Beauxbatons is much, MUCH more accommodating to “dark” creatures, and she’s already pretty chummy with Hope and knows that she’s actually a French citizen herself, the daughter of Algerian immigrants. So Remus technically has the possibility to attend Hogwarts or Beauxbatons, and so Hope and Remus talk on it long and hard, and she knows he’s already become fast friends with Lily and their thick as thieves with one another, but it’s also just so much safer for him.

So the week before Lily is set to go off to King’s Cross, they fly over to France and they get Remus settled in his dorm abroad.

I think while they’re away, Lily and Remus actually somehow become closer, because their parents are still dutifully dating and neither of them are all that familiar with their surroundings, so they send one another so many fucking letters through that first term, that the owls of their schools always give them the dirtiest looks lmfao. And they really catch on like a house on fire, like it’s one of those relationships that is just innate? Like you know when you have a best friend you guys kind of just slip into one another lives? Like even when you don’t talk for a while or whatever, it’s just natural<3 <3 

So neither of them ever spend the hols of winter or spring in Hogwarts/Beauxbatons, becs that’s when they really get to vibe.

They tell one another the different cool charms they’ve learned, and hate that they can’t show them with their actual wands yet. And they watch all their favorite films and almost adopt this secret language that’s only the quirk of their brows and twitch of the lips, and Petunia hates how freakily attuned they are with one another and sneers at them for being such freaks in all aspects. Also in this AU Lily fucks off from Snape wayyyy sooner, because instead of having to deal with that nasty, bigoted, slime ball she has the cutest and funniest and most amazing bestie in Remus!

And before Hope and Nate exchange vows in the winter of their second year, the little family of five go to this tiny park that’s all lush grassland and a shiny jungle gym and a pair of swings tucked away by trees, and they sit at this picnic table, and Hope— with her steady, ever buoyant voice, explains to them why she and Remus decided to send him to Beauxbatons instead of Hogwarts, and Petunia is like gawking in fright, and Nate looks sort of distressed, but Lily just cocks her head and shrugs her shoulders, because it’s still Remus— her closest companion Rem— and nothing could change that. So she takes his hand from where it’s fiddling with a splintered piece of wood on the tabletop and she squeezes it tightly, watches him glance up at her with the late summer wind billowing in his tawny curls and the fear in his honey eyes, and she simply tells him that it doesn’t matter. And Lily will never forget the way his features spasm at that, going suddenly loose and bright and thankful, and then Nate probably tousles his hair and kisses Hope’s temple and shyly asks how they should accommodate once they move in with one another.

And that park becomes sorta special tbh.

It’s in that alcove with the swings and trees where Lily and Remus go when things are becoming too much, or they would just like to escape the world by one another’s side.

It’s where they tried their first cigarettes that Remus had gotten from an older bloke in Beauxbaton’s when they were thirteen and feeling adventurous. And where they go to listen to the releases of their favorite albums, and when Remus told Lily that he’s gay for the first time before leaving to both their fourth years and it’s like one of those spots they both think of and feel golden.

Oh God! Imagine how cute of a celebration that Nate and Hope hold for them both becoming prefects!!! Hope and Nate definitely insist on some sort of summer todo! And they invite their friends and all that jazz and OMFG what if Lily’s wearing some sorta powder blue sundress that matches Remus’s oxford shirt and they both are grimacing in all the photos and are just not thriving foieajfoierjgiearfoijsdkgxh But like they would be doted on rotten that whole day! This is so cute! OMFG! And this probs means James became Prefect as well and so Remus gets to tease her when he sends her some sort of congratulations letter and she’s totally blushing and trying to hide her grin, and Lily retaliates by kicking his ankle tbh bahaha 

Okay also now I’m thinking of like Lily’s like fifth year, and her Muggle studies class is doing some sort of seminar to see if these idiots can actually survive in a totally Muggle area without a lick of magic, so like it’s spring hols, and guess who she’s partnered up with??? 

Cookies for you because we all know she had to work with James and Sirius lmfao!!! 

And she’s totally still trying to hide her crush on James— who’s nearly always leering and winking her way— and she might actually punch Sirius’s face simply because he’s such a smug bastard, and being from a working class family like herself, she’s like always ready to fight preppy rich boys tbh

So James and Sirius decide to plan out the simulation in her house that’s right outside Cardiff and Remus is cackling the entire morning before they’re set to arrive because she’s so pissy about it lmfao

Okay so like obviously the boys end up taking the port key and land in front of her place and it’s Remus who answers the door, still painted with humor because Lily was just screaming about “if Potter brings that insufferable snitch here I’ll bloody shove it up his arse” and James is immediately on the defense because Lily’s only ever talked about her sister and brother who live with her at home, and this dude is golden where she’s pale and has curls over her straight hair and just, obviously they’re not related by blood at all. And for his part, Sirius is like *Oh! Oh! Oh! Pretty!!! Pretty boy!! Muggle boy? Pretty Muggle boy!* 

But Remus obviously knows who they are straight away, so he like waves them inside before rounding to the stairs and calling for her to stop clogging the toilet or something else mortifyingly embarrassing, and Lily promises to put like pickles in the next set of face masks that they do because she knows how fucking allergic he is to them, and she wants her chuckles damn it!!  

“Potter— Black,” is how she greets them with a derisive sort of glower that Remus can completely see through, so he has to excuse himself while laughing over to the kitchen. “You’ve met my delightful brother I see.”

And James’s entire posture relaxes and he’s back to grinning like a dope, and the only weird part is that Sirius has got on the very same face, *Pretty Muggle boy is Evan’s brother* So like they are both scary levels of elated, rip.

But sucks to be Sirius because Remus leaves after that to meet up with a friend from town who’s also the best dealer tbh, and  so he has to deal with James’s awful levels of flirting with Lily while they scrounge up their itinerary to send their professor for the seminar type thing, and he doesn’t even have a pretty distraction XS

But Lily does force Remus to come along with her on the trip to London because “On God, if I spend a day alone with those bellends by myself I will punch a wall” 

And it is literally the worst, but best double date/first date that’s full of Sirius and James fucking up with everything— including asking some poor Tesco employee where are their fudgeflies and giving a homeless man a hand full of galleons and James’s snitch somehow ending up in the meaty hands of some kid at the tube. But also tbh it’s hella cute when Lily lets James give her his jacket when they’re walking along the Thames and it’s getting chilly, and when Remus lets Sirius share his stick of cotton candy and they both sorta stare at the sugar on each of their lips.

But then they go to some tiny museum, and while they’re looking at a impressionist piece, Sirius is totally trying to show off to Remus and is explaining how he could turn the bench their sitting on into a really nice bouquet of Lupins, and in the middle of his stupid showboating, Remus lightly corrects him on some facet of Gamp’s law, and Sirius freezes— shocked still— and he’ sort of gaping like an idiot, before Lily stops his blustering with a scoff “He’s a damn wizard also you arse.”

And Sirius is floundering for the rest of the evening, and he has so many questions, but they all die on his lips every time he glances over at Remus and he’s just smirking at him with this electric glint in his golden eyes

So obviously when they’re back at Hogwarts he pesters Lily every second of every day about Remus, and why he’s not at Hogwarts. “None of your fucking business.” And asking where Remus goes instead. “Beauxbatons, thankfully far away from you.” and he asks her about a thousand other questions that Lily either scoffs at or simply cuffs him around the head for daring to even try getting his address.

And she pokes fun about the situation to Remus and tells him how much more of an idiot he’s acting like, and how hilarious it all is. And she’s shocked when he responds to her letter merely by saying, “Hah- he’s cute.”

And so obviously she shoots back a reply that’s a letter of all his worst traits, mainly that he’s an arrogant toerag, and that he’s a posh idiot who could probably live off his inheritance for three lifetimes without blinking, and about how he doesn’t date anyone for longer than a couple months, and how he’s practically brothers with James bloody Potter, and yet again, Remus just tells her, Hah- he’s cute, before mildly moving to talking about his latest charms paper and how he’s been asked to be their DADA’s professors TA next year, and how Andrew keeps trying to try again with him but Remus would rather poke his eyes out with a spork.

So Lily is totally fuming when she recognizes that she’s lost and begrudgingly gives Sirius Remus’s info, after telling him lowly and with her most menacing glower, “IF you fuck around with my brother I will murder you without a flinch.” And she’s quite literally five feet nothing to Sirius’s broad, six-foot frame, but he knows that she could do it with a snap of the finger, and he promises that it’s not just a gag on his end. And Lily actually believes him.

So Remus and Sirius begin writing to one another a sickening amount, like so steadfastly that it gives Lily a complex whenever she finds Sirius waiting at the Owlry every Wednesday morning for the bird that arrives with two letters tied to it���s leg, one for each of them.

And God, one time, right before they let out for summer hols, Lily accidentally takes the one marked for Sirius— and holy christ!!!, She did not need to know just what exactly her brother has been getting up to in the sex department of things— like she legit contemplated using a memory charm on herself JFC

And Sirius probably ends up on their doorstep again in late July, with James at toe, and somehow their is a small harmony painted between the four of them, and it’s by Christmas of sixth year when James and Sirius begin talking about how amazing it’ll be when they’re actually in-law brothers, and Lily blames Remus for everything when she’s pretending to be cross over it, but then James puts his arm around her shoulders, and she sees how gentle Sirius is when he twines his fingers into Remus’s own, and it feels good, feels right. 

It feels like something that can be forever.

Send Me A Prompt/Chat With Me💜  |  My Wolfstar FIC Masterlist

[imaginationhyperload]

@a-substantial-trash-pile has this really cool, funny, happy ALTERNATE UNIVERSE version of Severus Snape and the Marauders and Harry Potter that she put in a little fan art series called “Snape’s A Dumpster Fire” where Snape’s childhood is way better than it was in the canon and the Marauders and Lily and Snape are all FRIENDS and after James and Lily die Severus and Remus raise Harry instead of the Dursley’s, and she makes drawings for this little story and I really like the art style she does for them, so I decided to write this incorrect quotes based on that.

5 year old Harry: Sev! I have a present for you!

Sev: For me?

Harry: *giggles and hands Severus a chocolate Frog box*

Sev: Awww thank you Harry! I’ll open it later.

Harry: *pouts* Seeeeev You’ve gotta open it NOW!

Sev: *shrugs and opens the chocolate frog box, however underneath the chocolate frog instead of a normal chocolate frog card Harry has somehow added his own homemade chocolate frog card featuring none other than Severus Snape himself with a description saying things like “ Awesomest Potion’s Master EVER” and “Coolest pancake maker in the world” But the one that makes Severus’s eyes tear up in joy was the last description, which says “Harry Potter’s Bestest Friend In the Universe”.

Harry: Sooooo? Do you like it?

Sev: *hugs Harry* I love it! I’ll cherish it forever! Thank you Harry! *five minutes later he frames the chocolate frog card and puts it on the mantle over the fireplace where it stays till the end of their days.*

Was that sappy? It was probably weird and sappy. Oh well. Hope you like it Ms. Trash-Pile(?)

(Ok do you have a nickname or something because I don’t want people to think I’m insulting you because I would feel terrible if that happened but your blog name is really hard to make cool nicknames with)

(Also I can easily imagine this scene happening with the chocolate frog itself landing on Sev’s head and just chilling there lol)

[elliemarchetti]

The Deal (part 6)

Previous chapters

Words: 1713

"He sent me this," said Hermione, and held out the letter. Draco took it. The parchment was damp, and huge tears had made the ink drool so much that it was hard to read several words.

Dear Hermione,

we lost. They gave me permission to return him to Hogwarts. The date of execution must still be set. Buckbeak liked London. I won’t forget the help you gave us.

Hagrid

"They can't do it," Pansy said. "Buckbeak isn’t dangerous”

"My father terrorized those on the Committee until they were decided," Draco said, wiping his eyes wet with tears that he was stubborn about not spilling. “You know how he is and those are a bunch of trembling old men, some even older than Dumbledore! They’ve had fear. There will be the appeal, however, there’s always, but I see no hope, nothing will change.”

Hermione threw her arms around Draco's neck and burst into tears softly. He patted her on the head until she stopped and it was time to go to class, right at Hagrid’s, who seemed stunned by the shock of the verdict.

"It's all my fault. I didn't know what to say. They were all sitting there with their black clothes and my notes kept falling and I forgot all the dates you found for me, Hermione. And then Lucius Malfoy got up and made his speech, and the Committee did what he said... " he explained to Hermione while Draco and the other Slytherins kept their distance, out of respect. Hermione had reassured them that the half-giant would never have blamed them for what happened but only Draco's father’s insistence and his stubbornness in wanting to avert his son from her but they didn't want to hear reasons and maybe it was even better that way , as Ron and Harry approached to console him too, allowing Hermione to stalk away to use undisturbed the Time-turner professor McGonagall gave her to attend all the lessons. Even with it following them all was starting to get on her nerves but fortunately, although the cause was extremely unpleasant, Hermione dropped out from divination and her schedule became way more bearable although the Easter holidays weren’t exactly soothing, with all the homework the professors had assigned them, not to mention the fact that with all those training sessions, Draco and Hermione had barely had time to greet each other when they met in the Great Hall, to the extreme joy of his father, who had even sent him a big package of which Hermione didn’t know the content.

"Do you think it's a Firebolt like Potter's?" asked Pansy one day during a study session, but Hermione hadn’t even raised her head from her book while Millicent replied that it couldn’t be, given the shape of the wrapper. "But what do you want to know about brooms?" Lily had asked, and Hermione, who already had nerves on edge, had told the three friends, badly, to shut up. Since that day, not even the three Slytherin's girls had wanted to study with her anymore until Hermione, the night before the game that everyone was waiting for so anxiously, didn’t decide to put the books aside and go down in the dungeons to wish Draco good luck.

"We thought we would never see you again." Pansy, the one who was most disappointed by her attitude, hissed.

"If you think it's a personal thing, or worse, a House thing, you can’t be more wrong." Hermione replied, without losing sight of Draco, who was perpetually surrounded by people.

"I'm sure it's not like that, but we didn't think we would see you again since Draco has gained so much popularity since he stopped  hanging out with you. We thought, but correct me if I'm wrong, that you let him go for his own good."

Hermione caught Pansy's cold stare and wondered what she had lost in those weeks, until Millicent intervened to explain the situation to her, but only once her tiny friend got up to fetch a drink: “Ignore her, she wants to hurt you just because she's upset about your attitude over the last few weeks. I understand that you want to excel and we all know how you got to go well in potions so it doesn't surprise me you put all your efforts in it, but it’s only distancing you from the things that really matter in life and Pansy isn’t one that forgives quickly.”

“Then what’s your advice?”

"Give her time and actively engage in recovering her trust, with her it’s the only way." she cut short, seeing her friend was now returning with two butterbeers, but it was obvious that she too had had some disagreements she didn't want to talk about. To talk to Draco, however, she had to wait around the end of the party, at midnight.

"As usual, we don't have much time." he told her in a whisper, making her wince. The girls just left her alone, but in the silence of the dungeons she didn’t mind: the sound of the fireplace where the embers still crackled merrily and the chatter of the last few people awake had made her feel more at ease than anything that had ever happened in the Gryffindor Common Room. "Snape will arrive in less than half an hour, so you better be out of reach when it happens."

"We would’ve had more time if only you weren’t surrounded by a horde of admirers." she replied as her friend sat down next to her on the black leather sofa.

"The price of celebrity." he answered, making her laugh, but the moment of hilarity ended soon. "I heard you had an argument with Pansy. Or should I say a misunderstanding?”

Hermione smiled sadly: he was the king of misunderstandings.

"As I imagined.” he replied, contenting himself with her expression as an answer. "It’s typical of the Slytherins. You must understand that if they’ve relegated us down there, there should be a reason."

"I didn't know you wanted to be a comedian."

"I leave the part to the Weasleys, I'm just trying to cheer up a friend."

"So we're still friends? Even if I behaved like a bitch?" she asked and Draco widened his eyes, aghast.

“I'm a friend of Hermione Granger, the one who puts study first and never says a bad word. Who are you? What did you do to her?"

Hermione surrendered and dropped her head on the arm of the sofa only to sit back incredibly quickly when she heard footsteps outside the entrance.

"Snape is coming." she whispered, standing up with an agility that she didn’t believe she still had, after all that time spent on books. Even Draco was whippy and as soon as the teacher's shadow entered the Common Room he closed behind his shoulders the door of a dark room where two other boys were sleeping. Although her eyes hadn’t yet become well accustomed to the sudden darkness, Hermione noticed that the furniture was not so different from where she slept, as she had always imagined, but something made it all darker and less welcoming, more high-placed. Draco almost pushed her into the closet, and although Hermione wasn't very tall, she struggled to find an empty corner where she could crouch. The first thing she noticed was the lingering scent: in there everything smelled clean but also of the indistinguishable fragrance that Draco used, nothing you could find on the Muggle shelves, a richly layered perfume with notes of leather, tobacco, bright citrus fruits and spices. When they were younger, Hermione had always found it too sharp for a boy but now she warmed up to the scent and without it she wouldn't have felt like she was with Draco but with a substitute. The only thing that didn't have that unmistakable aroma was a dress covered with a black dress cover that unmistakably smelled like every new thing from Twilfitt and Tattings. Trying not to make any noise, Hermione leaned forward enough to discover a small part of it. To her utter astonishment, it didn’t hide a new cloak or a male ceremonial dress but a woman's dress of a beautiful emerald green.

"We can change color if you want." Draco commented, making her wince. "But I don't think you'd like the occasion for my mother sent it."

"They celebrate the verdict, don't they?" she asked, and even if Draco didn't nod she would still know the answer.

"Who they wanted you to take?" asked Hermione coming out of the closet.

“I think Pansy, they love her, but probably Lily would be fine too”

“I suppose as long as they are Slytherin and resemble your mother it’s fine, it doesn't matter if she has a brain smaller than a hippogriff's.” she replied. She didn't know whether to be heartbroken or somehow disappointed, even though she had no reason to feel either way.

"You gave the idea." he confirmed, sadly. “Not that I plan on going.”

"Don't you think they will get angry?" she asked, casually closing one of the doors and then resting her back on it. She knew that Draco's parents were disgusting but she didn't believe up to that point. Evidently, there was no limit to the worst.

"They are already angry, since they know that as far as possible I have helped you build the defense for Buckbeak. I think theirs is just a mocking gesture, as if to remind me that they are more powerful, and that despite my efforts I’ll never beat them by playing their game.”

He said it naturally, as if he were used to it, but Hermione doubted that there had ever been any war between the Malfoy before that year and it was only her fault.

"You can't win because they don't play by the rules." she tried to console him, but it was probably here that his parents wanted to arrive. “Don't let them change you with their machinations. I couldn’t bear to lose my best friend.”

“Best friend?” he asked, although the tone was a little disappointed.

“What do you want to be? My bestest best friend?” she asked sarcastically.

“Bestest best friend…” he repeated as if he really were weighing the appellation. “I like it.”

[pineforestwitch]

Hogwarts Mystery Event Day 3: Great Hall

So for this i decided that we should see a nicer side of Snape. I bet he's always so bitter because Lily died etc. Buuuuut sometimes he can be pretty nice. And that's what i tried to write.

----

I couldn't sleep. I kept on tossing and turning every time a thought of my brother popped into my head. And I kept tossing and turning until I started to silently cry to myself. After I had soaked my pillow in my tears I said screw it. Draping my blanket around me and putting on my slippers I walked out of my dorm, and through my dark common room and out into the school. A night walk wouldn't hurt me... might hurt my school mates though... for losing more house points for doing this. Its ok, they'll live. I'll work my butt off to regain those points.

The school was quiet and spooky at this time of night. I didn't even know what time it was. But almost none of the lights were lit, and the only thing I could hear was the sounds of my foot steps. Walking in the dark was peaceful, and sort of how I felt. I don't know what happened to Jacob but I refuse to believe that he worked with You-Know-Who, or that he was dead. I know he's alive, and until proven otherwise I will cling to that little speck of hope. Because hope was all I had left to keep me motivated in finding the next vault, and him.

Eventually I made my way to the Great Hall. I peaked inside to find that it was empty (Filch must be somewhere else) and the only light source was the giant hearth. It looked warm and inviting. So I thought eh what the heck? I tiptoed my way over to the bench closest to the hearth and sat down. Nestling into my blanket I made myself feel as cozy as possible and stared into the fire. It was gold and warm. The flames flickered with a wildness I thought was breathtaking. Fire was chaos and chaos can be so beautiful and fierce. This whole situation was chaotic, but I didn't think it was beautiful at all. But in all chaos there is calculation. So I just have to keep doing what I'm doing until I find the next vault. I'll be a step closer to finding Jacob... if i tread carefully that is.

It took everything in me to not start a total break down. So I just stared into the flames and let small tears roll down my cheeks until I was in a trance and dozing off.

---

“Gypsy!” a voice boomed through the hall, startling me so much I yelped and fell off the bench. Looking around like a wild dog I found Snape behind me. He death stared me down. And here we go more 'blah blah blah you wrenched child blah blah blah 50 house points from you blah blah blah detention...'

“I hope you have a perfectly good explanation for this,” he growled.

“I'm sorry sir, I couldn't sleep,” I replied, I felt a lump form in my throat. I knew I couldn't say anything more without crying now. Ugh curse me.

“That is the saddest excuse I've ever heard,” he rolled his eyes, I looked down and started to walk away before he saw my eyes water.

“I'm sorry sir, I'll go back to my dorm,” I mumbled and cleared my throat to get rid of the lump. My cheeks started to burn. Stupid Snape always so mean and unforgiving.

“60 points from you,” he said, “I hope that will make you think the next time you're deciding on sneaking out.”

“Yes sir,” I mumbled and continued walking.

But I stopped suddenly. A question burned in my chest, and I wanted to ask it. So I did.

“Professor Snape?” I said quietly, though he was perfectly able to hear me.

“What?” he said in annoyance, my cheeks burned more. The lump got bigger.

“Have...,” I cleared my throat again, “Have you ever lost someone you loved?”

And all went silent for a while. His eyes told me a sad horrible story as he stared off. The hearth talked in the silent moment too, it crackled and popped until finally he replied.

“Yes,” he said with... a gentleness I bet no one heard before, “I have.”

“How do you cope with the pain?” I asked.

“Certainly not by breaking school rules and finding cursed vaults,” he snapped, then composed himself, “I remember, and try to honor their memory.”

I nodded, the tears were now flowing down my cheeks like little waterfalls. He walked towards me and stopped just a few feet in front of me. Don't break down in front of Snape you'll lose more house points, I thought. Sniffling I apologized again for breaking the rules and turned to walk back.

“Gypsy,” he said sternly, I again, stopped, “come here.”

I followed him back to the hearth, surprisingly he sat down and patted the spot next him. Gesturing for me to sit next to him. I did.

“Tell me about Jacob,” he said without looking at me.

“But sir, you already know him, you taugh-”

“No,” he interrupted me, “I mean tell me about him.”

Oh.

So I did. I told him how much he loved to get in trouble too. How we fought over this and that. He taught me everything I know. He was/is my bestest friend. He sneaked me cookies and sweets whenever I was sent to my room. His favorite color is blue. He loves chocolate frogs, and thinks spiders are cute. Gross. Doesn't he know that spiders will always try to eat you in your sleep? I always warned him. He always said it was rubbish. Then I'd say his curly hair was rubbish. Then we'd settle the argument by wrestling. Sometimes I won, he won all the time.

I went on and on and on about him until I broke down and had a nice long cry.

---

“Gypsy,” someone was gently shaking me awake. Groggy I sat up and rubbed my eyes. The hearth was dead and cold, the hall was lit up with a dark blue hue. It was almost dawn. I must've cried myself asleep.

People would start waking up and they would see that I'm missing. Realizing this I jolted awake. Snape was standing near me, arms crossed and bags under his eyes. Was he awake for the whole night?

“I suggest you get back to your dorm, Gypsy,” he said. I 'yes sirred' him and quickly started to walk back. When I was at the doors of the Great Hall he called my name again. I stopped and turned around.

“Your house points have been returned, but don't get any ideas that I will be this lenient again,” he said sternly, and I saw something of what appeared to be a smile form on his face. But it disappeared as quickly as is appeared.

“Thank you sir,” I smiled sleepily, “I promise I won't do it again.”

I felt much better this morning than I had all week. Like a huge weight had been taken off of my shoulders. I smiled to myself as I walked back, and decided to keep what had happened a secret from my friends. Snape would take away twice as many points from me if he ever found out that I told anyone.

I felt so determined now. I knew I was going to find the next vault.

AndJacob Ash Gypsy I will find you.

[asktheboywholived]

Hi TT :), I just went on your marauders threads masterpost and none of the links worked. Honestly it might be my computer (I have a super nasty virus atm) but then it might not be. To give you an idea, every time i scroll over the links the typing cursor comes up (y'know the one with the lines that highlights stuff) I've refreshed the page quite a few times and nothing seems to be working. I will carry on refreshing and see if it will work, but for now I just thought you ought to know :)

(( OOC: Yeah, I’m not sure what’s going on there. :P I’ll try and get that fixed… but in the meantime… let’s see if this works: 

MARAUDERS THREAD MASTERPOST:

THE MARAUDERS:

SCHOOL YEARS:

Yer A Witch Lily!

After receiving her letter from Hogwarts, Lily wants to tell Petunia, however the conversation quickly takes a turn for the worst.

Love At First Sight

Lily Evans is the most perfect girl James has ever seen! Maybe if he pulls some smooth moves, she’ll fall for him… and maybe not.

Love At First Sight (Baby Marauder Version)

Just A Little Crushed

Frank and Alice have a chat, and it goes south quickly.

Unwanted Attention

Alice is cornered by a persistent Gryffindor who can’t seem to take a hint… or a blatant NO.

Wanted Attention

Frank has a question for Alice… and he’s beyond nervous to ask it.

Lily’s Birthday

Severus wants this birthday to be special. Lily’s worth the effort.

Shower Encounter Part 1

The Prefects bathroom is the nicest bathroom in the school, so of course Lily wants to use it… but it looks like James Potter forgot to lock to the door.

Knock it off!

James just doesn’t know when to quite being obnoxious… but Lily is more than willing to help.

Don’t Sell Yourself Short:

Sirius finds Remus fretting over a new scar after the full moon.

Part 1

Part 2

Shower Encounter Part 2

Lily is about to get some sweet, sweet revenge.

Au-Naturel

Sirius has some female admirers, and they have a bad habit of “finding” his clothes and wearing them… but what happens when he has no clothes left?

Drunk Antics

Lily may have celebrated a little too hard after Gryffindor’s latest quidditch victory.

The Rat

Peter seems very comfortable in his rat form… until Mrs. Norris shows up.

Keep Away

James and Severus were rivals from the moment they set eyes on each other, but they both have a common interest… and that scares James.  

Question for Evans

James tries to pull the moves on Lily, but her reaction is less than favorable.

Snape’s Worst Memory

Severus says something unforgivable… something he’ll forever regret.

Runaway:

Sirius’s home-life has taken a turn for the worst… and the only place he can go is his sanctuary… the Potter’s.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Sugar Rush

After getting his hands on some cupcakes… Sirius is a little hyper.

We Will Rock You

The marauders are only mild sports fans…… mild.

Bromance

James and Sirius are the bestest of bros.

Meet the Blacks

Andromeda is engaged to a muggleborn, and the only member of the Black family she trusts enough to tell is Sirius.

The Yule Ball

The night didn’t turning out how Lily had envisioned, but James has a knack of showing up when she’s feeling down.

Sass Off

Dorcus and Marlene are dating… but Dorcas can’t help but feel that maybe Marlene’s feelings still reside with her old crush.

Blood Moon

Sirius, fed up with Severus, has told him about the Whomping Willow… during a full moon. James may be the only one who can save him.

You Fool Of A Black!

After rescuing Snape, James confronts Sirius about his dangerous little “prank”.

The Werewolf In The Shack

After Sirius tells Snape about the whomping willow and everything goes to hell… Remus starts to remember what happened.

The Shunned:

Sirius made a big, big mistake, and now he’s paying for it.

Part 1

Part 2

Merry Christmas Werewolf McWerewolf:

There’s a full moon on Christmas, and the Marauders want to spend it with Remus… but after Remus uses every form of persuasion he can think of, begging his friends to enjoy Christmas with their families, they begrudgingly agree to head home for the holidays.

However, as Sirius gets ready for the Potter’s Christmas party, he can’t stop thinking about Remus.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Remus Doesn’t Know Shit About Quidditch:

Looks like something is going on between Remus and Sirius… and Lily is going to get to the bottom of it.

Part 1

Part 2

Sectumsempra

Severus hasn’t forgiven James for saving him… and he’s been working on a little something… something just for Potter.  

Joining The Order 1

The war is starting to hit home, and Frank wants to make a difference.

Drunk Antics Part 2

When the boys get ahold of some “fire whiskey”… things get a little crazy.

Sore Loser

James just cost Gryffindor the match, so, of course… he’s going to bitch about it.

The Monster Under the Bed

Remus has an unexpected, and very unwelcome, late-night visitor.

Can’t Sleep

Remus and Sirius are no strangers to nightmares… and after a particularly frightening one, Remus can’t get back to sleep.

You Wish

Like father like son.

She Likes Me… She Likes Me Not

Lily has a confession to make… a confession that Severus never wanted to hear.

Smitten

James and Lily have gradually become friends… but James still can’t help but want more.

Just Friends:

James Potter has been chasing Lily Evans, the girl of his dreams, for 7 years. However, after a heart-to-heart with Sirius, James realizes that Lily may never return his affections, no matter how much he likes her. Maybe… it’s time to move on.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Wallflower 1

The Yule Ball has come again, and Lily has finally said yes to going with James… there’s just one problem… James is sick.

Wallflower 2

The Yule Ball has come again, and Remus isn’t attending… or at least, that’s what Sirius thought.

A Visit With Evans

James has never been in a real, muggle house… and even better, it’s Lily-Freakin-Evan’s house… this day could not get any better!

The Talk:

James and Lily are having some fun at Lily’s place… but what happens when the parents come home early?

Part 1

Part 2

Dirty Little Secret

Remus has always been ashamed of his scars, and done his best to hide them… but he can’t hide them from everyone.

The Black Plague:

Sirius doesn’t get sick very often… but when he does…

Extra

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Mother Dearest:

After receiving unexpected and devastating news, James and Sirius must learn how to accept their grief.  

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Career Counseling:

The school year is coming to an end, and it’s time for the marauders to start thinking about their futures… but with a war looming, what kind of future can they hope for?

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Check Me Out

Now that Lily sees James as more than a friend… she can’t help but notice other things too… particularly how good James Potter looks in that shirt.

Freaky Friday (NSFW):

After an terrible potion mix-up, Remus is going to have to survive a few days walking around in Sirius Black’s body…

Alright… he can handle this.

What he can’t handle is the fact that Sirius is now in his body… and embarrassing Remus seems to be his top priority.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Mirror, Mirror (Extra):

Part 1: Remus

Part 2: Sirius

FIRST WIZARDING WAR:

Put A Ring On It:

James is sweaty and nervous… Why? Because he’s about to propose to the girl of his dreams.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Joining The Order 2

Now that Frank is part of the Order, it’s his job to welcome new recruits… but he certainly wasn’t expecting to greet THESE recruits.

Four-Eyes

Desperate times call for… a really terrible good sense of humor.

Surprise, It’s A Baby!

Lily is pregnant… and… WHO IS THE FATHER!?

Surprise, It’s Another Baby!

Alice has a little secret.

The Hunted:

Sirius and Remus find themselves in a trap… and Remus isn’t prepared to face the person who set that trap… his very own monster under the bed.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Cry Wolf

After being released, Fenrir returns to the Den to find Bellatrix waiting for him… Looks like there’s no better time than the present to put his plans into action. Unfortunately, those plans revolve entirely around Remus Lupin.

Seed of Doubt

Sirius receives an unexpected and unwanted visit from his less-than-stable cousin, and what she has to say may lead to some budding doubts concerning Remus Lupin and his loyalties.  

Dream A Little Dream Of Me Part 1

The fear of war is growing… and now it’s starting to seep into Sirius’s dreams.

Nothing To Lose… Everything To Lose…

The war is taking its toll, and with mortality at the front of everyone’s minds, Sirius can’t hold back anymore.

The Downward Slope

Remus crashes at the Potter’s for the night, but he didn’t know Sirius was going to be there as well. Things have… changed… since the last time they met.

Dream A Little Dream Of Me Part 2

Sirius has been cold and distant. Now he’s made his way into Remus’s dreams.

Power Play:

Crazy just got crazier. Bellatrix isn’t used to having her authority challenged… Fenrir doesn’t care.

Part 1

Don’t Shoot The Messenger

Marlene is gone, and someone has to tell Dorcas.

What Do You Want?

The war is destroying everything… including Sirius’s faith in Remus. But his feelings are still conflicted… and when Remus confronts him, which path will Sirius choose?

The Kids Are Alright Part 1

With babies on the way, Frank and James are feeling a new weight on their shoulders. This war has taken on a whole new meaning.

Having Second Thoughts:

The Marauders are in the middle of a war, and Lily is about to have a child. What were they thinking!?

Part 1

Part 2

Bed Time For Harry

James and Lily haven’t slept in what feels like weeks. Having a baby is exhausting… but Harry just went to sleep. Maybe now they can get some shut eye.

Foreplay

Harry and Sirius are asleep, so it’s time for the adults to play. But… James and Lily seem to have a hard time being “sexy”.  

Super Moon:

Being a double agent is tearing Remus apart, and when he gets trapped with Fenrir during a full moon, things take a turn for the worst.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Thrice Defied:

The war is taking its toll on the marauders, and James and Lily narrowly escape Voldemort’s clutches for the third time.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Liar, Liar:

Remus’s life has spiraled out of control, and now the only thing he can do is throw himself back into the war… but spying for the Order is a dangerous job, and Fenrir knows something that Remus doesn’t know.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Little One:

Remus has been caught in Fenrir’s twisted web since he was a child… But Fenrir has finally become bored of his little pet, and Remus is about to come face-to-face with a true monster.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Dark Times Series:

James and Lily are in a deadly game of hide and seek, and the seeker just found them.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Part 7

POST DEATH:

It’s Too Late To Apologize

Severus finds the Potter’s home in ruins. Lily is gone… and she’s never coming back.

The Man Who Loses Everything:

Remus Lupin’s world has come crashing down around him. Everything has been taken away from him… everything except…

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Just When You Thought It Was Over

Frank and Alice have been captured, and Bellatrix is out for blood… or worse.

The Cursed

Frank and Alice will never be the same.

The Nightmare

Lily was the love of his life, and Severus will never see her again, except in his dreams. But this isn’t a dream… this is a nightmare.  

The Depths of Hell

There is an island, where the inhabitants have been forgotten, left to a fate worse than death…

HARRY POTTER ERA:

A New Era

Remus has been trapped in Hell since the fall of his closest friends, the people he loved… and now, after years of struggle, he’s on his way back to Hogwarts.

Awkward Reunion

The Order has a new member… and Remus hasn’t seen her in years.

Potty Humor

Tonks really shouldn’t have eaten that…  

Never Be The Same:

After escaping from Azkaban, Sirius goes into hiding with Remus. However, twelve years apart, twelve years of false accusations, twelve years of torture… have left gaping wounds that may never heal.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

The Veil:

What happens to the people we leave behind?

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

King’s Cross

What lies on the other side of the veil?

You Could Be Happy:

“Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.” A story about a werewolf, a metamorphmagus, and finding happiness.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Metamorphmagus

Tonks has a little surprise for Remus.

Turntable

Tonks has spent the night with Remus for the first time… and now she has the house all to herself… so obviously a bit of “exploring” is in order.  

Fatherhood

Remus is now a father… and it feels strangely familiar.

The Kids Are Alright Part 2

With the war hitting closer to home, Neville pays what may be his final visit to his father.

I Open At The Close

The Marauder’s final moments.

JILY AU’S:

James Deer

Lily can’t believe it… James Potter is an animagus?

Apologies

James thinks it might be time to make up for being an ass.

Truth or Dare (Jily)

Lily and James are stuck at Hogwarts for Christmas… but they find a fun way to pass the time.

Hormones

Lily can’t stop crying… and James is a flustered mess.

The Art Of Seduction

James pulls out his best moves… which are kind of like everyone else’s worst.

REMADORA AU’S:

What’s in My (Pockets)?

Tonks likes jackets… and stealing other people’s jackets… well, one person in particular.  

The Whole Package

Remus has it.

Can’t Teach An Old Dog New Tricks

These jokes never get old.

Memories

A picture is worth a thousand words… but pictures can’t replace what Teddy lost.

Resurrection

Teddy decides to take a walk in the forbidden forest after a restless night… and he finds something on on the ground, an item long forgotten…

FENTRIX AU’S:

Power Play (CONTINUATION):

Crazy just got crazier. Bellatrix isn’t used to having her authority challenged… Fenrir doesn’t care.

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

And They Called It… Puppy Lust

Fenrir and Bellatrix have an… interesting relationship.

WOLFSTAR AU’S:

MODERN AU’S:

Snap Chat

Remus receives a bizarre snap from a total stranger… turns out that stranger has a pretty face framed by some nice, black hair. He might be okay with this.

BYOB (NSFW):

Remus is working as a bartender at a Gay Club. He’s witnessed a lot of… interesting stuff… But nothing has come close to Sirius Black.

Part 1 (Video):

Youtube

Vimeo

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Bloopers (Video):

Youtube

Vimeo

God Save The Queen:

Sirius has been acting strange lately… he keeps taking off at night, and Remus could have sworn he was wearing makeup… Sirius Black is hiding something.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

HP UNIVERSE AU’S:

Truth or Dare (Wolfstar)

Sirius gets wrapped up in a game of Truth or Dare… and ends up biting off more than he can chew.

The Morning After (A continuation of “Can’t Sleep”)

Sirius has a bad habit of unconsciously stripping when it gets too hot at night… and apparently Remus does too. This may become a problem if they keep sharing each other’s beds after nightmares wake them up.

The Morning After The Morning After

Remus is starting to have a hard time falling asleep… weird things seem to happen when he falls asleep in Sirius’s bed.

The Morning After The Morning After… The Morning

It’s time for Remus to get even… maybe.

Distraction

Remus is having a hard time paying attention in class with Sirius sitting across from him.

Amortentia

Things just got a little awkward in Potions class.

Fetch:

Sirius can be such a brat… but so can Remus, especially when chocolate is involved.

Part 1

Part 2

DYAC!

Damn you auto correct…

Wrong Place, Wrong Time 1

James recalls walking in on a not-so-pleasant scene.

Wrong Place, Wrong Time 2

Remus and Sirius are having a moment… but they forgot to lock the door.

Midnight Meetings

It’s getting harder to have some alone time in the dorm… so the boys take their shenanigans to McGonagall’s classroom. Bad move.

Long Hair Don’t Care

Remus grows his hair out, and Sirius can’t handle it.

What Doesn’t Kill You, Leaves A Scar:

Remus has always found his scars ugly… but Sirius is determined to show him otherwise.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

If You Wannit Come n’ Get It:

Sirius stole Remus’s hat… and Remus is trying to get it back… creatively.

Part 1

Part 2

Freudian Slip

Uh………… Whoops!

That Awkward Moment When…

You end up accidentally comparing dick sizes with your best mate.

Never Give a Werewolf Alcohol

James is going to be a father! Sirius and Remus have stayed up to celebrate… but Remus has had one to many drinks, and Sirius is enjoying his drunken companion so much… that he might just let something slip.

Plastered

After getting very a little tipsy, Sirius receives an unexpected… and very unwelcome… visitor.

Bellybutton Ring (NSFW):

Sirius has had a little too much to drink… As a result, he may be showing off more than Remus is comfortable with.

Part 1

Part 2

Polaroid (NSFW)

Sirius just got a new camera, and Remus has become an unwitting model.

Sleepy Pups

Sirius can’t help it… he just loves to cuddle.

Candy Cane (NSFW)

It’s Christmas and Sirius is enjoying his new candy cane a little too much. That insufferable git.  

Baby It’s Cold Outside:

Remus is being a grinch, so Sirius is going to get him into the Christmas Spirit… and maybe get a little sing-a-long out of him as well.

VIDEO

BLOOPERS

Up or Down? (NSFW)

Sirius revels in the fact that he can make Remus flustered… using nothing more than his hair.

Don’t Play With Fire (NSFW):

Remus always becomes more aggressive as the full moon draws closer… He has always struggled to control it. But what happens when Sirius decides to threaten that control?

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Extra

Never Be The Same (Alternative Ending):

After escaping from Azkaban, Sirius goes into hiding with Remus. However, twelve years apart, twelve years of false accusations, twelve years of torture… have left gaping wounds that may never heal.

Part 1

Part 2

Moving On 1

Remus has found someone who makes him happier than he’s ever been… someone who makes him feel safe.  

Moving On 2

Sirius has been locked in a cell for 12 years… and now that he’s out maybe things can pick up where they left off… or, maybe, nothing will ever be the same.

NSFW Wolfstar

Exactly what it sounds like.

DARK SIRIUS AU’s:

After being sorted into Slytherin, Sirius Black’s life takes a complete turn. He never befriends the marauders (in fact, he becomes James Potter’s greatest rival), and he continues to grow up in an abusive home environment, with nowhere to run. Where will this path lead him?

Cornered Animal

A greasy little bird told Sirius a monstrous secret about Remus Lupin… So of course… he’s going to use this information to his advantage.

Betrothal

Sirius and Andromeda used to be close… but with years of abuse and no where to run, Sirius has become a different person. Can Andromeda get through to him, or will he continue down his self-destructive path?

Brotherly Love

Sirius has been through a lot with Regulus. He’s the only one in their crazy family that he can bring himself to care for… but caring just leads to hurt.

It’s A Trap!

Remus is sent on an Order mission to an abandoned mansion… when he arrives, he quickly realizes he’s not the only one there.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

TUMBLR PROM SERIES:

Ginny Weasley

James Potter

Sirius Black

Remus Lupin

Frank Longbottom

Part 1 (James and Sirius)

Part 2 (Sirius and Remus)

Part 3 (Sirius, Frank and Alice)

PROGRESSION SERIES:

Progression Of Fralice

Progression Of Jily

Progression Of Wolfstar

[wiledwolfstar]

The Marauders?:)

James

Sexuality Headcanon: Heterosexual, but probably a bit bicurious.Gender Headcanon: Cis male.A ship I have with said character: James x Lily.A BROTP I have with said character: Wolfstarbucks is life okay.A NOTP I have with said character: James x Peter.A random headcanon: James totally had a minor crush on Remus for like, a month at some point during 5th year, and it confused him and led him into the identity crisis, at which point he stopped being jerk-ish to Lily and they actually started becoming friendly. Of course, Lily is his one and only, but he’ll always be a little bit curious.General Opinion over said character: Grew up into an honorable and brilliant man, he loves his friends and family dearly and will do anything for them. The marauder streak is still in him, but it’s much more tame now that he’s matured and pranks are lighthearted and fun for all involved (at least retrospectively - Sirius certainly wasn’t laughing at the time when he was turned into a canary for ten minutes).

SiriusSexuality Headcanon: Gay gay gay.Gender Headcanon: Genderqueer/demiboy.A ship I have with said character: Sirius x Remus.A BROTP I have with said character: Sirius and James are the biggest and bestest bros, they basically are brothers at this point. A NOTP I have with said character: Sirius x Lily.A random headcanon: Sirius still suffers with repercussions from living in an abusive household, often having nightmares at night. He plays it off nonchalantly during the day, but at night it sometimes gets to be too much. It’s at times like these that he climbs into James’ bed with him in their early years at Hogwarts. As he gets older, it gradually becomes more and more Remus’ bed that he climbs in to.General Opinion over said character: He’s honestly so misunderstood and was done no justice, and deserves everything. Yes he can be rash and get ahead of himself and thinks that he’s Too Much a lot of the time, but he deserves all the love and healing that he can get his hands on, and people who can help him with that.

RemusSexuality Headcanon: Bisexual.Gender Headcanon: Trans male.A ship I have with said character: Remus x SiriusA BROTP I have with said character: I equally love Remus x James, and Remus x Lily. Let’s be real though the marauders are all just weirdly close.A NOTP I have with said character: Remus x Snape.A random headcanon: Remus is one of the least subtle people ever, honestly it’s a surprise the whole school didn’t know about his furry little problem. He really looks up to and respects McGonagall, and after his mother dies he starts to see her as a motherly figure, and she’s more than happy to take him under her wing. One day, after a full moon, he’s lying in the hospital wing and out of it when she visits him. As she leaves, he calls her “mum”. He doesn’t remember it, but if he did then he’d be incredibly embarrassed about it, however Minnie will always remember it with ferocious warmth and faint sadness.General Opinion over said character: The biggest nerd, but also the most devious of the bunch and always manages to avoid the consequences of the pranks they pull. Like honestly he could have ended up in Slytherin with that mind of his in my opinion. I love him.

PeterSexuality Headcanon: Asexual, heteroromantic.Gender Headcanon: Cis male.A ship I have with said character: I don’t have any.A BROTP I have with said character: Peter x Remus, back in Hogwarts anyway. A NOTP I have with said character: Peter x Ron. Just noooooo.A random headcanon: He never slipped into the Dark side, never betrayed the Potters, and they all lived together as great friends :)General Opinion over said character: It upsets me when people erase him from fics and such. He was a marauder, he was one of them, and that’s what made his betrayal so shocking and heartbreaking. I don’t know what led to him doing it, but god it must have been something bad. I’m not condoning what he did, but he was never as strong as the others. Plus he never tried to make up for his actions later (see reviving Voldy) so I guess there’s no redemption for him.

LilySexuality Headcanon: Bisexual.Gender Headcanon: Trans female.A ship I have with said character: Lily x James.A BROTP I have with said character: Lily and Sirius are perfect. She bought the first eyeliner Sirius ever used, and was the first to paint his nails. They talk about boys and take turns styling each other’s hair (she’s one of the only people that he trusts to touch it), and he pretends to be grossed out when she starts talking about cute girls because he enjoys the way her cheeks flush when she gets embarrassed.A NOTP I have with said character: Lily x Snape.A random headcanon: Remus is the first person that Lily came to when she started questioning her sexuality, as he is also trans and openly bi. They bond over the struggles that they face with both bisexuality and trans issues, and totally have each other’s backs if anyone says a bad word, instantly there and ready to throw a hex or a punch at the offender.General Opinion over said character: She is not the reserved character that people think she is. She is fiery and has a pranking spirit, which is part of the reason why James was drawn to her, they’re on the same level in that regard. 

[amorremanet]

ahhhh gimme more about "sirius with hufflepuff traits" because i just started roleplaying him and !!!

OKAY SO. This will probably be a disorganized mess, and I apologize for that in advance.

The big three traits/values here are Sirius’s loyalty, his hard work and dedication, and valuing of community.

To get this out in the open: Sirius’s loyalty is the biggest reason why Sirius could’ve been a Hufflepuff, to me, so I’ll probably harp on it a lot. I mean, his Animagus form is a DOG, and not one of the ones that JKR treats really unfairly in the text (like bulldogs, which she has Aunt Marge breed based on the fact that they look grumpy, even though irl they’re actually sweethearts), but a shaggy black dog that gets mistaken for the unfairly maligned Grim but doesn’t challenge the association of dogs with loyalty.

But loyalty is not the only reason why Sirius could be a Hufflepuff. For example, despite what a lot of the bullshit fanon ideas about him hold, Sirius isn’t averse to hard work. The sole basis for this in canon is that Sirius has a cavalier attitude about a lot of things (one that’s often demonstrably based in caring so much it scares him, so he tries to make it all a joke, but hey)

…and that during his DADA OWL in “Snape’s Worst Memory,” we see him leaning his chair back and being an inattentive weirdo who isn’t working on his exam or noticing some girl behind him who’s all like, “wow what a hottie” (……which, because of reasons I guess, obviously means he doesn’t give a crap about working hard, and can’t possibly mean that he already finished the exam because he’s one of the most brilliant students Hogwarts has ever seen)

Never mind how the underlying logic of that argument is, “if Sirius doesn’t work hard at school, then he must not value any kind of hard work at all ever” and if I may? what in the fuck even is that. Apart from, “a really bad argument.”

Not caring that much about school only means Sirius doesn’t care that much about school, and given that an education from Hogwarts is one where you get a new DADA prof every year, professors bully and play favorites with their students with total impunity, Dumbledore does fuck-all to make sure the profs are actually doing their jobs, and a lot of the problems that you find in non-magical educations (prioritizing rote memorization over actual learning, favoring certain kinds of intelligences and very specific displays of those intelligences, etc.) can still be seen in Hogwarts?

Yeah, no, I can’t blame Sirius for hypothetically not giving much of a fuck about that, especially when he’s gifted-and-talented levels of brilliant, so he’s probably bored most of the time if he’s not being actively challenged by the material.

If someone wants to argue against Hufflepuff with this point, it’s actually embarrassingly easy to joss them: true, Sirius doesn’t care that much about school, but he doesn’t respect a system that is, at its core, unfair — and not valuing an unfair system can easily be read as a sign that Sirius values fairness, which is a very Hufflepuff thing to do.

Yeah, it’s reaching a bit, but no more than most of the canon-twisting that fans do in order to argue theories/interpretations like, “Draco is a secret werewolf in HBP,” “Ron is time-traveling Dumbledore,” and, “Draco actually learned anything about why Blood Purism and fantasy-fascist domestic terrorism are flat out inherently wrong by the end of DH, rather than learning that siding with Voldemort will screw him over personally, also his Mummy, and regretting that but otherwise missing every single point where he could’ve undergone any form of positive growth and character development,” so. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

But I digress.

The most obvious point about hard work for Sirius is that he did all the work to become an Animagus at age 15. Even if we don’t accept the full monty of JKR’s version as canon, it’s still established as being really difficult and time-consuming, something that Sirius could not have managed solely on natural brilliance and/or talent. He would’ve needed to actually put in the work here, and he did. Not only that, but he also helped Peter with the work, and did all of this why, exactly?

Well, because real Marauders don’t leave each other behind, and on one hand, Sirius wanted to be there for Remus. On the other, he was not about to go do that without both James and Peter, because his bestest best friend might’ve been James, but Sirius genuinely cared about and valued both Remus and Peter — which you can tell, even through his attitudes toward Peter, because he is so outraged over Peter’s betrayal that, as soon as he gets a hint of where Peter might be, he breaks out of Azkaban and spends several months working on murdering him.

When Sirius genuinely doesn’t give a crap about something — which happens very rarely because he is theatre kid levels of Extra about most of the things we ever see him dealing with — then he’s flippant and dismissive and brushes it off and just doesn’t give it any thought whatsoever.

Even when the something is like, “Harry trying to go, ‘Hey, maybe this idea is questionable and could get a lot of us killed or expelled or tortured by this evil domineering pink toad-woman who’s teaching DADA this year’” — which would, under most normal circumstances where he’s not basically under house arrest in the mausoleum of his abusive shit-show blood family’s home, arouse Sirius‘s protective godfatherly instincts — if Sirius doesn’t care about something (in this case, “things that get in the way of him being able to live vicariously through Harry, Ron, Hermione, and the DA”), then he ignores it.

Not always a good behavior to fall into, as seen here, but it does help make the point that Sirius isn’t blowing smoke during the whole Shrieking Shack sequence of POA, and that, despite what he says about, “I can’t believe I didn’t suspect you from the start, Peter, you were always looking at friends as ways to protect yourself,” Sirius DID trust Peter, DID genuinely think of him as a friend, and DID feel genuinely betrayed by how Peter played him and Remus to make both of them suspect each other of being the traitorous spy and, as they hurt themselves in their confusion, sold James, Lily, and Harry out to Voldemort

Because if Sirius were telling the truth about not having had any kind of respect or affection for Peter…… yeah, he’d still be pretty pissed off in that moment — after all, he just spent twelve years wrongfully imprisoned in a psychological torture Hellhole for a crime he didn’t commit, probably spent at least some of the time in proximity to one of his abusive cousins who also happens to be a Death Eater and has a personal vendetta against him (just… based on how Sirius and Barty Crouch Jr. apparently got put in cells close to each other until Blondie got broken out, it’s plausible that Bellatrix and her two loser boyfriends were near them too), and is finally staring down the little shit of a rat who got James killed (and also Lily, but lbr, Sirius cares more about James)

(not that he doesn’t care about Lily, but… he consistently talks about James more than Lily, and several other characters tell or show us how tightly bonded he and James were, so yes, Sirius cared about Lily but he DID love James more)

But if Sirius were telling the TRUTH about never actually having any affection or regard or respect for Peter? He would’ve been colder and a lot more dismissive, rather than as easily wound up and ready to fight the sun as he spends the entire Shrieking Shack being

That is, barring a few moments where Remus basically goes, “Padfoot, sit. Stay. Good boy” and gets him to quiet down for a minute

…or wherein he defers to Harry because as much as he wants to kill Peter right the fuck now and get it over with for James and Lily’s vengeance? he also wants Harry to understand (especially after Remus correctly points out that Harry, above everyone else in that assembled party, has a right to know the truth)

……or wherein Snape shows up like a bat out of Purgatory and starts making threats like, “Oh, I’m gonna hand your ass over to the Dementors, I hope they let me watch when you get the Kiss — or hey, give me a reason and I’ll kill you myself, I’ll get a fucking Order of Merlin for it probably because this would be a public service killing, also it would so very thoroughly satisfy me :|” and manages to make Sirius either calm down or shut up by virtue of being a big bag of dicks who Sirius is ostensibly trying to reason with for the sake of some kind of greater good

(just…… he’s doing it while also being a big bag of dicks right back to Snape because that’s how they are with each other)

So, yeah. Sirius did the hard work of becoming an Animagus, and he helped Peter to do the hard work of becoming an Animagus too, and in one of his many shows of a more Hufflepuff than not approach to loyalty, Sirius expected Peter to display the same attitude toward the Marauders’ friendship that Sirius feels that he put into it, remembers James as putting into it, and clearly doesn’t hold a grudge against Remus over any time he could’ve been said to NOT be putting that same amount of loyalty and friendship into anything, because Sirius knows that one of those big moments involved him nearly getting Remus sent to prison if not executed, and the other was when both of them got played and thought each other was the spy, so both of them did wrong by each other

An even better point about Sirius’s approach to hard work, though? Is how he progressively falls apart throughout OOTP.

Granted, yes. Part of that is definitely and pretty explicitly on the fact that Sirius is essentially on house arrest, trapped in the mausoleum of No. 12 Grimmauld Place with Kreacher and his Mother’s screaming portrait and Buckbeak (who is better than Kreacher and Walburga but still regrettably stuck in the attic, which?? Is just a really shitty place to put a Hippogriff?? and it probably does not make for a Hippogriff who is very good company???)

Sure, sometimes Remus is around because he’s staying there with Sirius, but he has to leave pretty regularly on ~mysterious Order business~ (which may or may not be going underground with the werewolves or at the very least liaising with them, but no one told Harry, so JKR didn’t see fit to tell us)

Then, other Order members come and go — but Moody is sort of an acquired taste (and oddly enough? Barty Crouch Jr. had just spent over a decade locked up in the psychological torture prison of constantly fighting his Father’s Imperius Curse — and he did that after spending a year in Azkaban and nearly dying from it — and only having interpersonal contact with Winky and Crouch Sr. and maybe whatever talking portraits the Crouches might’ve had in their home…… and he was STILL way better at dealing with people than Moody, who apparently thinks that a super-cool treat for Harry is letting him see an old photo of the First War Order and telling him how almost everyone in the shot died horrifically)

Tonks is family (nominally good family but still… family with the Blacks is complicated), and also sort of an acquired taste, though to be fair, Sirius does seem to enjoy her more than any of the other people in the Order (though I doubt he enjoys how he looks at her sometimes and, through no fault of Tonks’s, sees the living reminder that Andromeda and Ted probably still think he’s a Blood Purist mass-murder who betrayed his friends and pretty much everyone who ever genuinely loved him, and went bad in the same way as Bellatrix after all)

Molly and Arthur are genuinely horrible people, and Sirius doesn’t really seem to like them much. I mean, he’s concerned when Arthur gets attacked by Nagini, but it’s more about the kids and a bit of jealousy because he’d love to go down to St. Mungo’s, even in the present circumstances, because it would mean he got out of the fucking house.

Otherwise, though, he doesn’t seem to have much regard for Arthur and pretty openly dislikes Molly, and with good freaking reason, considering she’s an abusive and emotionally manipulative buttisnki who thinks she has any right to tell Sirius how he does or doesn’t feel about Harry, and to all but outright tell him that he doesn’t love Harry and never can for real because he’s mentally ill and traumatized, what the fuck, Molly, how about you shut up and mind your own fucking business for once

(*generally aggrieved, angry noises because skdjdfhs Molly Weasley is a character who exists and does what she does and is still seen as being a character we should look up to and revere and try to emulate in anything ever*)

^ it me when I am expected to respect either of the Weasley parents

it also Sirius when he’s expected to play nicely with them, especially with Molly, who openly disrespects his status as Harry’s godfather and tries to dismiss the importance of their relationship to both of them, because apparently, Sirius being mentally ill and traumatized means that he can’t love his godson OR know for himself that he loves his godson

I’m done now, I’m sorry, Molly and Arthur just make me SO ANGRY

and in general…… yeah. Sirius gets on with some of the Order members who are not Remus.

He gets on BEST with Remus, for fairly obvious reasons — like, to the point that Remus can actually tell him what kind of amounts to, “Sit, stay, don’t bite Molly’s head off, sit, stay, good boy” and Sirius listens to him and apparently doesn’t feel condescended to by this (or if he does feel like that, then he acquiesces anyway because he trusts Remus) — but it’s not as though Sirius only gets on with Remus and wishes the rest of them would fuck off forever

But it’s still not really the same as having a decent support network, and yes, that takes a toll on him throughout OOTP, I’m not saying that it doesn’t

But Sirius also repeatedly says and shows us that he would do a little bit better if Dumbledore were letting him do fucking ANYTHING. It’s bad enough that he’s trapped in Grimmauld Place, but he’s not even allowed to really do that much, apart from keeping Walburga’s portrait muzzled and occasionally, like? Spraying doxies or something.

True, Gryffindors don’t deal well with being cooped up without it being any kind of related to any Hufflepuff tendencies…… but the fact that Sirius specifically hates being cooped up because he can’t be helpful to the Order while trapped in his late abusive parents’ home? The fact that Snape most easily riles him up by implying that he’s not doing anything of value to the Order, just sitting around and milking his status as a falsely convicted and escaped mass murderer who’s desperately wanted by the Ministry?

Yeah, that, to me, is a little more Hufflepuffian than, say, Fred and George being like, “man, we haven’t made any terrible decisions lately, we’re bored, let’s go turn Neville into a giant bird to taste-test a new Weasley’s Wizard Wheeze”

Back on the subject of Sirius loving James more than Lily, though? He is a gr10 foil to Snape — a Slytherin primary, Gryffindor secondary, Ravenclaw tertiary, and never getting in the vicinity of a Hufflepuff Sorting ever, not in anyone’s wildest dreams, whoops — in this way

Because Severus only cared about Lily [and worse, cared more about his IDEAL HEADCANON LILY than Lily Evans: An Actual Person In Her Own Right] and he openly didn’t give a fuck about her husband or child, even while begging Dumbledore to get off his ass and save Lily

He only went, “ugh fine, save them too, as long as she’s alive” after he got verbally smacked upside the head and shamed over how he wasn’t thinking about Lily’s actual desires here at all, which did fuck-all to actually make him CARE about James or Harry, even in a vague, theoretical context like, “something something sanctity of human life” or, “well, Lily cares about them, so even if I hate her husband, I respect her choices in a more active way than simply not bothering her to her face”

And, of course, he got Lily put on the potential chopping block in the first place because he thought the prophecy would only make Voldemort go after Harry or Neville, not their parents, and hey, it’s not like he cares about a baby and if Voldemort kills James too, so much the better for Severus

Sirius, on the other hand — Gryffindor primary, Hufflepuff secondary, Slytherin tertiary, and “would literally only ever get into the Ravenclaw Common Room, as a Ravenclaw-Sorted student, if the Sorting Hat worked like that annoying trend in fanon of sending anyone who does well in school to Ravenclaw regardless of how this is absolutely baseless bunk” — yeah, he loves James and Harry more than he loves Lily

But rather than prioritizing his own desires and his own ego, in the matter of the Secret-Keeper thing, he tells them to switch to Peter, at the last minute.

Like, if Sirius’s ego had its own way, that probably never would have happened because he probably would’ve gone, “yeah, lol, I’d like to see the Death Eaters TRY and torture the secret out of me, I’ll fight anybody, I’ll punch Voldemort right in his stupid face because I need to defend James and Lily personally and I don’t give a shit about my own survival lmao”

But instead, he thought about what would be best for James and Lily and Harry — together, as a family, not just as, “James, plus those other two people I guess” — and went, “No, man, I’m not invincible and the Death Eaters will totally suspect me because everyone knows that James and I have been basically married since before Lily ever even considered dating him, and it will get all three of you killed, if you pick me”

Obviously, Peter wasn’t the right choice either, but Sirius had no way of knowing that because Peter out-gamed everybody in that whole debacle, including Dumbledore, who ALSO apparently bought the whole shebang about Sirius betraying James and Lily to Voldemort, right up until he heard Sirius’s version and went, “Heeeeeey there, Harry and Hermione, you two should go play with time travel for me and also for Sirius, okay. Cool, have fun kids, Dumbledore out.”

(which? Dumbledore is actually way more questionable here and you could totally make a case that he knew the truth and let Sirius just rot in Azkaban because getting him out would’ve been like super-inconvenient and tedious and ugggggh why are you questioning him and his interpretation of The Greater Good — but for all intents and purposes right now? Okay, fine, Albus Dumbledore got out-gamed by Peter, too.)

[insert here a snide remark about how idk about you, Albus, but if I dated someone who broke my heart and then grew up to be some kind of fantasy-fascist would-be despot, and put my old, “For The Greater Good” line on the gated outside of his blatant Auschwitz-Birkenau stand-in, I would probably stop saying that and also question my basic assumptions about whether or not, “For the Greater Good” is an even remotely defensible position to assume in anything, ever — but hey, that’s just me.]

Back to the actual point: Sirius is loyal to James and Lily as people, not because he has some cocked up headcanon ideas about them being even vaguely perfect (like, he falls victim to thinking so during the series…… but that’s after twelve years in Azkaban and under a lot of pretty extenuating circumstances, and I’d probably idealize my hypothetical James and Lily analogues like that, too), and he doesn’t show them this loyalty BECAUSE it’s The Right Thing (does he think it’s The Right Thing? Yeah. But that’s not the driving force behind his actions and choices here)

Rather, he shows James and Lily this kind of self-sacrificing loyalty, where he gives up the opportunity to even talk to them while they’re in hiding much less actively protect them, because he is convinced that it is what’s going to be best for them and Harry, and he cares about what is best for them on their own terms and based on their own needs, more than he cares about what he wants

Which is a pretty, “Hufflepuff while retaining obvious signs of being such a Gryffindor” way of handling things

As opposed to Severus over there with his, “Slytherin in a lot of our worst ways, but with a glimmer of that hidden Gryffindor streak that comes out when Albus Dumbledore shames him for caring more about his own desires than about Lily, not in a way that goes, ‘if you were really loyal to her as a person in her own right, you would do this that and the other’ but in a way that goes, ‘Your life choices are Bad And Wrong, you should feel Bad And Wrong, I’d be ashamed of you if I were your mother, you’re disgusting, what what WHAT the fuck are you doing, you motherfucker, that’s a BAD DAMN SNAPE’”

(and in fairness? trying to guilt-trip Severus in a more Hufflepuff sort of way would be completely pointless NOT because he doesn’t have a Hufflepuff bone in his entire body, but because, when it comes to certain matters, he has the self-awareness of a particularly obtuse hunk of moldy processed cheese, so like?

Sure, go ahead, try to guilt-trip him with, “if you’re REALLY loyal to Lily Evans Potter: Actual Person, blah blah blah blah blah blah.”

You won’t get anywhere because, as far as he’s concerned, he DOES genuinely love the real Lily Evans, and he *IS* genuinely loyal to the real Lily Evans, and the likelihood of him ever being self-aware or emotionally healthy enough to understand that he is completely wrong? Is basically nonexistent, given the utter Hellhole he was raised in and his consistent lack of an actual reliable support network.

Not that emotional stability is actually required of anyone to be a Hufflepuff — I mean, Ernie and Zacharias are a pretty good argument against that idea [if we ignore Tonks on the grounds that her behavior in HBP was OOC garbage and influenced by Molly Weasley being an emotionally manipulative buttinski who literally was not asked, at least not to the degree that she gets her hands messed up in relationships that have nothing to do with her and that she has no right to meddle in, period], and I have headcanons about several Hufflepuffs that would also disagree, never mind that I’m currently arguing for Hufflpuff secondary!Sirius, and even before Azkaban, he was not exactly a stunning picture of mental or emotional health

—but the way in which Severus Snape is emotionally unhealthy is one where his values and behaviors end up contradicting pretty much everything about Hufflepuff House, in ways that, to me, suggest that even if he’d been taken out of his parents’ custody at any point and raised by a supportive, loving family who got him therapy and everything and somehow created an AU version of him who isn’t massively unhealthy in every single possible way?

He still wouldn’t be a Hufflepuff, because there’s got to be something that goes even deeper than all the ways in which he is massively unwell, and that something might’ve been brought out more by his exceptionally shitty life circumstances, but just taking those away wouldn’t magically make Severus Hufflepuff material.

Conversely: yes, some of Sirius’s traits and values that line up with Hufflepuff were exacerbated by his exceptionally shitty life circumstances and come out even more visibly because of the various ways in which he is emotionally unhealthy — c.f., sure, it sounds really devoted, in POA, for Sirius to say he would’ve rather died than betrayed Lily and James, and for him to have expected the same out of Peter because he was a Marauder… but then in GOF and OOTP, we progressively come to see that, uh? Sirius means it, like???

No, that is NOT a moment of, “Sirius Black being Extra about something and engaging in hyperbole because he’s just Sirius Black and Drama should be his middle name.”

Nooo, he means it VERY seriously and all of the evidence we have suggests that he is being literal about even implying that he valued James’s life above his own, and now values Harry’s life above his own, to such a point that either/both of these loves could have easily become self-harming for him, because he doesn’t really give a fuck about his own life based on its own value.

Which is, y’know, not an uncommon way for someone who has parents like Sirius did to end up feeling about themself.

It’s no less loyal, and no less grounded in the Hufflepuff kind of loyalty where you love others as they are and value them above what you want for yourself

—but much like how Snape shows unhealthy manifestations of the, “Slytherins look out for our own, whoever we decide that to be” approach to loyalty, enough that he’s not really in love with Lily so much as his inaccurate Dulcinea Beatrice “Peeta about Katniss until it literally gets tortured and brainwashed out of him” idealized headcanon Lily and refuses to deal with the reality of Lily or anything about her because it might challenge her status as His Only Real Friend?

Sirius shows an unhealthy manifestation of Hufflepuff loyalty, in which he places basically no actual value on himself and only acts like he does in order to keep people from getting that…… no, no, he means it very literally, because he probably correctly concludes that they would be concerned about him feeling this way, if they knew about it, and he doesn’t want them to worry like that about him, especially if it’s at their own expense

Not that there aren’t other reasons going on here, too, but…… these two are pretty clearly, “abuse survivors who feel like they are probably the absolute worst and try to hide it but still act it out and make it kinda obvious in very different ways”

oh my god i’m sorry, i lost control of this because i got…… uh, distracted by loving them both so much? oops?)

Another point where Sirius and Severus foil each other here, and in so doing, show off the values that make them a Gryffindor-Hufflepuff and a Slytherin-Gryffindor respectively? Is in how they both handle their feelings of guilt after the events of Halloween 1981 and how the both of them handle their related suicidal ideation

Disclaimer: I am not saying that I *AGREE* with how JKR handles this in either case, because I don’t.

Like, JKR gave us a scene where Snape flat-out says, “I wish I were dead” and Albus “alleged bastion of compassion and goodness and all that shit” Dumbledore basically goes ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ and tells him, “Well, that would be about the most useless thing you’ve done this week, wouldn’t it, Severus, but hey, by all means, go jump off the Astronomy Tower if you want to be a whiner about it. Whenever you want to shut up and take it like an adult, though, I’m waiting, lmao” — and we are supposed to feel sympathy for Snape but intellectually AGREE with Dumbledore, in this scene.

So, suffice it to say, JKR handles suicidal ideation Very Fucking Badly

And I’m not saying that I agree with any of how she handles the juxtaposition between the way that Sirius is all but outright and explicitly suicidal after James and Lily die, and the way that Severus *is* explicitly suicidal after that

(and hey, now that I think about it? It’s pretty shitty that the fuck-up antihero who’s more on the side of good is very obviously suicidal but doesn’t outright say it, while the fuck-up antihero less obviously on the side of good or the side of anything in particular…… is the one to flat out say that he wants to die? Like, way to attach a moral valence to suicidal ideation, Jo. Thanks for that.)

All I’m about to do is lay it out how canon presents the facts about this, and how canon treats them, and how it factors into the idea of Hufflepuff or Hufflepuff secondary!Sirius

So, Snape says that he wishes he were dead after he hears that Lily is dead, James is dead, and Harry’s off with Lily’s garbage sister and her atrocious husband, and this expression of suicidal ideation is all but outright implied to, in that moment, mostly be due to:

1. Lily is dead because he was a dumbass and told Voldemort about the prophecy and actually thought that she might be spared just because he begged (which…… she might’ve been, if she’d taken the out Voldemort offered her and just stand by and let him kill her baby, but… he also might’ve then just killed her too, so… ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)

2. Lily is dead and she died still thinking that Severus hated her and he could now literally never change her mind about any of that because she is, as mentioned, dead (which…… yeah, it’s sad that you could never try to apologize to her, Severus, but? Uh. You’re supposed to apologize out of genuine contrition, not just to manipulate how someone else feels about you and get them to forgive you, and I don’t believe that, at this point in the story, you actually felt that genuine contrition.)

(Also, y’know, you could have tried actually apologizing to her and backing it up with actions that SHOW that you’re sorry for hurting her before and getting her put up on the chopping block now, rather than working in the shadows and hoping she’d learn the truth and “come around on her own” someday, but hey, that’s just my opinion, hon)

 and 3. Lily is dead. Which, yeah, is part of the other two points — but the text really tries to drive home the idea that Severus is devastated by losing Lily, but that at the moment of his, “I wish I were dead” declaration, he’s more upset about what all of this means for him outside of, “Lily is dead and that’s terrible”

Like, the biggest way that the text drives this idea home? is in how Dumbledore talks Severus into not going and jumping off the top of the Astronomy Tower

Regardless of the situation and the fact that it worked out not-quite-as-badly-as-it-could-have-done in this case, telling someone who’s just expressed suicidal ideation, “And what use would that [your death] be to anyone?” is still an astonishingly shitty thing to do, and I cannot stress enough how shitty that is to say to someone who is suicidal

Moreover, JKR is pretty shitty about how she uses it in the scene, as she’s not only going, “Dumbledore is an emotionally manipulative bastard but he’s Right so it’s okay,” but she’s also doing it in a way where it kind of comes off like Albus implying that Severus’s suicidal ideation isn’t genuine and doesn’t deserve to be acknowledged as what it is, much less treated with the bare minimum of all that Albus Dumbledore compassion he’s supposed to have, simply because of how Severus has been and will continue to be a pretty shitty person about several other aspects of the situation

And the big reason why I’m pretty sure Dumbledore was totally flat-out wrong in his conclusions here, about Severus Snape specifically, not about the general principles at work here?

Is that Severus Snape died in DH, and more specifically, the fact that he didn’t even TRY to fight it, like

He fought to stay alive just long enough to put his memories in a phial for Harry to take to the Pensieve so he could fulfill the last important part of his assignment from Dumbledore and get Harry to the Forbidden Forest, and then look at Harry’s eyes and have Feelings about Lily

In grabbing onto Harry like he did, Severus actively prevented him from trying to put together any way of saving Severus’s life — which we KNOW DAMN WELL is possible because Nagini attacked Arthur in OOTP, and much to my chagrin, Arthur lived through it just fine, so the healing process might not have been especially pleasant, but Snape could’ve lived through that

But he didn’t want to, and his refusal to let any of the Trio try to help him is ultimately why he died from a wound that otherwise would have been dangerous but could have been non-fatal

By that point, yeah, his suicidal ideation was compounded by how he didn’t know the whole story and thought that he’d just spent the best part of his adult life letting Dumbledore jerk him by the chain into a cornucopia of shit that Albus refused to take care of himself for various inscrutable Dumble-reasons, and it was all going to add up to betraying Lily again, and irreparably so, because he aided and abetted in Dumbledore raising Harry “like a pig for slaughter” (DH 687)

But, I mean? In POA, he was totally willing to risk getting sent to Azkaban for murdering Remus and Sirius, actually being held accountable for being a shit-bag to his students by doing actual physical harm to three of them (one of whom — Ron — was already injured), and letting the actual traitorous sell-out spy (Peter) go free because he was so thoroughly convinced of Sirius’s guilt and didn’t give a fuck what happened to himself or anyone else (even KNOWING, as he would have by that point, that his job security came down to Dumbledore needing him for some unspecified Big Deal Things that might possibly start happening with Voldemort and Harry)

—all of which completely ceased to matter, even the very real possibility of his own imprisonment and/or Dementor’s Kiss, as long as he got to take Sirius out for allegedly selling Lily out to Voldemort

So, yeah, um.

Severus might be a shit-bag, but that’s not mutually exclusive with being suicidal, which a lot of his behavior throughout the series indicates that he is, so Dumbledore acting like, “ugggh, whatever, Severus. Quit whining and grow the fuck up, you big baby” about it just because Severus is still a shit-bag?

Thaaat’s pretty Not Okay, and Dumbledore was not only wrong in principle, he was also specifically wrong about whether or not Severus’s suicidal ideation was genuine

But this all adds up to a Slytherin-Gryffindor perspective because for all Dumbledore does play the, “If you really loved her” card this time — which gets at the sense of Right vs. Wrong that Severus definitely has, no matter how much he tries to act like he doesn’t — he’s more insistent on, “Oh don’t be useless, what the fuck even is this shit you are on about, Severus, I need you to help me make sure that Lily’s sacrifice actually ends up meaning anything”

Like, the Hufflepuff take on this would be that Lily’s sacrifice has inherent value and meaning because she gave up her own life to try and save her child, and any act of love and loyalty like that doesn’t need to do anything more than be what it is

Dumbledore’s go-to Gryffindor rationale throughout the series for why Lily didn’t die in vain? is always that her sacrifice was so noble, it literally created magical protection for Harry out of nothing but love (and oh yeah, it’s gonna help take down that fucker, Tom, for good, but in a convoluted and roundabout fashion that’s gonna take us like 17 years to really actualize, lmao greater good tho right)

A potential Ravenclaw approach to finding the value in Lily’s death would be like, “so what can we learn from this”

Dumbledore plays the Slytherin card with Severus by telling him, “Make sure [Lily’s death] was not in vain. Help me protect Lily’s son” (DH 679) — or in other words, “Severus Tobias Snape, if you want to sit around and feel sorry for yourself, then fine, that’s your own damn business, but Lily’s death will have no practical, pragmatic value or meaning to anyone unless you quit whinging about how you want to die, grow the fuck up, and help me protect her son, thereby doing something of demonstrable value outside the realm of ideals, which is by the way probably what Lily would’ve wanted, considering she died to save the boy.”

Sirius, on the other hand, is a different story and, once again, he and Severus are each other’s flip-side. This time, it’s because while we see Severus expressing suicidal ideation and being dragged out of it by Dumbledore emotionally manipulating him into agreeing to stay alive for a reason (namely, protecting Harry)……?

Based on what we can construct of the timeline of events covering October 31st and November 2nd, 1981, Sirius was feeling suicidal after finding James and Lily dead and Harry orphaned, but he was planning not to act on it and planning to stay alive without going and doing anything dangerous to himself or anyone else — until Hagrid took Harry away from him on Dumbledore’s orders

(which I am still pretty sure is legally kidnapping but okay??

we get it, Albus, you dumble-don’t give a fuck, but come on, Prof, this is pretty bullshit???)

This old post from last year is a little all over the place, arguable more so than this one because I at least kind of tried to rein this one in and that one…… not so much — but it has my longer, fuller, and more in depth proof of Why Sirius Black Was DEFINITELY Suicidal When He Went After Peter With A Mind To Kill Him

That said, the high points of the argument are:

1. James and Lily were dead.

If only Lily had died, yes, Sirius would’ve been devastated because she was his friend, too, and he did love her, and it would’ve sucked…… but not as much as losing James sucked for him. With James still alive, Sirius would have been a lot less fucked up and motivated to fight off any of his own suicidal impulses in the name of helping James.

Conversely, if only James had died, Sirius would have been more of a human disaster than usual, but given his behavior in canon, he probably would have tried really hard to resist his own suicidal ideation because he knew how much James loved Lily, and he would’ve known that James would’ve wanted his best friend/surrogate brother/“third greatest love in the universe after Harry and Lily” to stay alive to help Lily and Harry as much as possible.

But in canon, both of the Potters are gone, leaving Sirius devastated and without a Potter to cling to in the name of talking himself down from anything. Except for……

2. Harry. Harry, his godson. Harry, his godson whom he is now supposed to be raising, and explicitly wants to raise because that is what James and Lily wanted — which we KNOW Sirius tried to make happen because he told Hagrid, “Give Harry to me, I’m his godfather, I’ve got to raise him now.”

Harry, his godson who was just kidnapped from him by executive order of Professor Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore, Order of Merlin First Class, etc. etc. and so on — whom Sirius has no reason to believe he can win against in the ensuing custody battle.

I mean? I love, “Sirius stuns Hagrid, takes Harry and runs to Remus, and they proceed to raise Harry, fuck that DE’s and the dumble-haters, lmao” AUs as much as the next Wolfstar shipper, buuuuuut here’s the thing

Dumbledore is Dumbledore, and although Sirius has the legal authority in this situation, being Harry’s godfather and presumably listed as his legal guardian in the event of anything happening to James and Lily, Dumbledore being Dumbledore counts for a LOT.

Like, you know the one Douglas Adams quote from the Hitchhiker’s Guide books about how space is big, really really big, there are no words for just how unfathomably big it really?

Yeah, that’s kind of the scale canon!Dumbledore is usually working on, relative to everyone else, when he just does whatever he feels like doing and goes, “greater good lol” and nobody does shit about anything to stop him

Even in a case like this where the Ministry is nominally on Sirius’s side because he has legal custody of Harry, uhhh. Dumbledore has a lot of people who owe him favors, and a lot of strings that he can pull when he wants to do so, and I don’t believe for a second that he’s above trying to publicly discredit Sirius through any means necessary

—Like, I don’t even think he’s above trying things like, “oh Sirius Black has sex with men and is a member of a family known for their ties to the Dark Arts, never mind that they disowned him and he was a member of the Order, he’s a sexual deviant from an abusive Blood Purist shit-show of a family, therefore he is unfit to be this child’s godfather, I’m right and he’s wrong, vote for me,” even as a gay man who, strictly speaking, has way worse taste than Sirius, since last time I checked? Sirius Black hasn’t fucked any would-be magical-fascist despots recently, Albus.

Even if Albus wouldn’t necessarily resort to that right off the bat, if at all, though? Sirius knows that most people who go up against Dumbledore about anything, ever, do not come out ahead. Mostly, they get their asses handed to them, so Sirius has valid reason to think that he’s never going to see his godson, much less raise Harry like James and Lily wanted, ever again

Which takes away the, “Raising Harry is what James and Lily wanted, fuck your own feelings and your suicidal ideation, you have to stay alive for the sake of raising your godson and doing right by those two people you loved, who trusted you with the tiny human who was the single most important thing in the world to both of them and whom they both died to protect” reason that Sirius had to live

Basically, if only one of Harry’s parents had died, Sirius would’ve tried to fight his own suicidal ideation and stay alive because it would’ve been what James either needed or would’ve wanted.

With both of them dead, he wanted to fight his own mind and his own impulses and stay alive for Harry in the name of honoring their wishes and their sacrifice, living as they would have wanted and trying to best actualize what they would have wanted for their son (and kinda for himself but mostly for their son)

He gets that desire back after a certain point in POA, and the big thing that keeps Sirius relatively on the rails — as much as he can manage, given the circumstances — in GOF and OOTP? Is having the ability to “fulfill his duty as godfather” and be there for Harry as much as he can.

Like, while he’s otherwise falling apart in OOTP, for very understandable reasons? “I need to be there for Harry, he needs me and it’s what James and Lily would’ve wanted, I can’t honor what they wanted for their son if I do anything to screw up by Harry” is the one damn thing that keeps him from completely going into a tailspin

And it might be helping himself through the desire to help someone else, because unfortunately, Sirius Black does not love himself as much as he deserves and that’s one of the only ways that he feels like his life has any value at all — thanks for that, Walburga, Orion, Bellatrix, and possibly also Regulus and Narcissa — but still?

If being willing to live for someone, while acknowledging that dying is remarkably easy and living can be really damn difficult (especially in a case like Sirius’s), and being willing to fight your own mind to live for someone else’s benefit

Just

If that’s not loyalty, then I don’t know what is.

And if it’s not loyalty that Helga “loyalty, assholes, it’s our thing” Hufflepuff wouldn’t have been damn proud of, then I would really like to know what her actual standards are, because I don’t understand them

But as I was saying

3. The whole way that he goes after Peter doesn’t make any freaking sense if Sirius intended to walk out of it alive

Like, first of all, let’s flash-forward to POA: Sirius knows damn well that murdering Peter is going to get him sent back to Azkaban OR straight-up Dementor-Kissed.

He knows that letting Remus help will almost definitely get REMUS Dementor-Kissed because not only will Remus be a murderer, he’ll be a murderer who is also a werewolf, and magical Britain’s institutionalized anti-werewolf prejudices all but guarantee that Remus won’t be allowed to live after committing a murder.

Neither of these things matters to him at all — or to Remus, for that matter — until Harry goes, “No, wait, we need to hand Pettigrew over to the authorities and this can get Sirius exonerated, what the fuck, my dad didn’t die for you two to become vengeance-murderers, that’s not what he would’ve wanted” and Remus and Sirius are both like, “well shit, that literally never occurred to me”

Both of them were totally willing to sign themselves up for an almost certain fate worse than death in the name of getting vengeance for James, because James would’ve died for his friends, so the fair thing to repay that with, for Sirius and Remus, is to kill Peter for his betrayal and very likely get themselves worse than killed as a result

But back to November 1981: Sirius goes after Peter with no ostensible plan beyond, “Find bastard, kill bastard, the end, whatever happens next is up to Merlin or whoever”

There’s no thought of, “Maybe it’s not hopeless to fight this blatant kidnapping of my godson by Dumbledore and get Harry away from Lily’s horrible sister and her garbage husband”

There’s no thought of, “Maybe I should go tell Remus the fuck what happened and beg his forgiveness for thinking he was the spy and get him to help me with this somehow — I don’t even know how, but fuck it, Moony’s the smart AND responsible one, maybe he’ll have an idea how the fuck to handle this”

There’s no thought of, “Maybe someone else in the Order will object to Dumbledore kidnapping Harry and help me, somehow, I don’t even know how, but we have at least three Big Deal Aurors in the Order, and Moody, Frank, and Alice might have some kind of idea of what the fuck I can do — Hell, maybe Frank and Alice will even offer to take Harry in some capacity until I can somehow prove that I’m not a total fuck-up who’s unfit to raise my godson, they’re already parents and their son is Harry’s age, maybe this’ll work”

It’s just, “James and Lily are dead, my godson has been taken from me, Remus will probably never forgive me for this one — I already screwed him over bad enough when I didn’t think about what might’ve happened to him if he’d actually killed Snape that night, and this time, I didn’t trust him and it got James and Lily killed, and Harry kidnapped to live with his Muggle aunt and uncle, who hated both of his parents and have shown no one any reason to trust them with Harry, ever, and I’m pretty sure that’s Remus’s limit, it HAS TO BE his limit — there is no hope to do what James (and Lily) would have REALLY wanted, the best I can do is get justice/vengeance for them, even at the cost of my own life if need be. Where the fucking fuck is Peter, I am going to fucking kill him.”

The complete lack of planning and commitment to doing this at any possible expense to himself, even his own death, is really evident in how Sirius started going after Peter in the middle of a crowded street

Like, that’s part of how Peter played him — because he made noise first and went SIRIUS HOW COULD YOU BETRAY JAMES AND LILY!!! before Sirius ever had a wand on him, and people heard him shouting that, they told the people who eventually showed up from the Department of Magical Accidents and Catastrophes that Peter shouted that, and Cornelius Fudge remembers it so vividly that he brings it up in the Three Broomsticks with Minerva, Hagrid, Rosmerta, and Flitwick

But Sirius wasn’t thinking about anything that could’ve been part of the future, just about killing Peter and doing the only thing he thought he could still do for James and Lily and what they would’ve wanted

Only for it to spectacularly backfire and Peter to slip away as Wormtail/Scabbers, and leave Sirius to face the music for a fate worse than death — since…… even if it’s not a Dementor’s Kiss, uh. Going to Azkaban?

If it’s a choice between that and dying, I personally might just pick death but I guess I’d need to know if I gain any form of hella Dementor resistance by virtue of already being clinically depressed for as long as I can remember, like? Does it make me more vulnerable to them, or does it mean that I can go like, “yeah whatever, Brenda, joke’s on you because I can do ten times worse to myself without any help from you :)” at Brenda The Dementor Apparently, or is there some other outcome here?

—but that being said.

Sirius wanted to die when he went to hunt down Peter, and his behaviors generally seem to suggest that, had everything gone to his plan (as far as he actually planned, uh, anything?), then it would’ve been a murder-suicide, possibly through suicide by Auror or something but that’s kinda asking a lot from Sirius in the planning department, more than he was probably capable of at the moment

4. Sirius says that he would’ve died rather than betray James and Lily. He also says, “Harry … I as good as killed them… I persuaded Lily and James to change to Peter at the last moment, persuaded them to use him as the Secret-Keeper instead of me… I���m to blame, I know it…” (POA 365). So it’s really not a huge logical leap, even without the above three points and the next one below this, to think that Sirius might feel suicidal, and might feel like he deserves to die for his role in the events surrounding James and Lily’s deaths.

and 5. He gave Hagrid his flying motorbike — which he pretty definitely would’ve made work by himself, rather than buying it off of someone as a flying motorbike, because flying carpets, flying Ford Anglias, and flying motorbikes are illegal and if he’d bought it off of someone and it was already capable of flying, both of them would’ve been due for a visit from the Misuse of Muggle Artefacts inquisitors — and specifically said that he wouldn’t need it anymore

The original proof has a lot of thought on the motorbike issue that can also be evidence in the, “Sirius is actually a hard worker, he’s probably just not motivated at SCHOOL, and honestly, I’m not sure I blame him, considering how Hogwarts is kind of an educational shit-show” argument

But this point is part of the, “Sirius was suicidal” proof because giving Hagrid one of his most treasured earthly possessions and saying that he wouldn’t need it anymore? Is freaking TEXTBOOK suicidal behavior

Like, some variation on, “giving away prized possessions and favorite things” is in every “how to recognize suicidal behavior” pamphlet, on every “how to help someone who is suicidal” website, in every textbook I’ve ever seen that has anything to do with suicide at any point

It’s one of the best known hallmark signs of someone who is not well and probably needs help, like, NOW

So, no, Sirius might not say, “I wish I were dead” like Severus does…… but even without saying those words exactly or even a variation on them, JKR makes it pretty clear that Sirius was fixing to die when he went looking for Peter

All of which goes back to Hufflepuff or Hufflepuff secondary!Sirius because, as I harped on through that whole spiel, everything about this entire situation came back to loyalty, for him

He wanted to keep living, initially, because it was what James and Lily wanted for their son, because it was what Harry needed from his godfather, and they were Sirius’s family whom he loved more than his own life and valued more than any of his own desires, and would have fought his own mind to live for even when he otherwise wanted to die

That all came crashing down not because letting Peter get away with killing Lily and James was morally wrong, or even because Sirius couldn’t let that betrayal go unpunished, but specifically after and as a direct result of Dumbledore making Hagrid kidnap Harry, thereby:

1. taking away Sirius’s family

2. denying him the ability to see James and Lily’s wishes for their son actualized for real

3. sending Harry to the Dursleys, which Sirius probably had at least SOME idea wasn’t what James and Lily would’ve wanted (it’s safe to say that he didn’t know about the abuse, or else he never would’ve suggested that Harry might’ve wanted to go back to Privet Drive rather than living with him, and even with the low opinion he was likely to have had of the Dursleys, he might’ve had some reason to think that at the very least Petunia would possibly honor her late sister’s wishes and love for her son by, idk, NOT horrifically abusing Harry)

4. doing all of this in a way that gave Sirius pretty fair reason to feel like there was no hope for him to fight against Dumbledore on this one, even though he was Harry’s legal guardian now so the Ministry should have been on his side in the matter of, “so, who gets custody of this tragical Chosen orphan”

and 5. pushing Sirius against a wall in a way where he would’ve felt like, “well this life is garbage, what’s the best way to get any justice/vengeance/whatever for Lily and James because that is the only thing left for me anymore”

On one hand, the desperate, agonized laughter that Sirius had going when the Aurors brought him in? Was probably due in some part to how he’d tried to be loyal to James and Lily, even if it meant that he couldn’t see them or Harry while they were in hiding because of how the Fidelius Charm works, and it had gotten them killed… then he’d tried to be loyal by raising his godson as they’d intended and Harry had been kidnapped away on Dumbledore’s orders… then he’d tried to do the only thing he could to be loyal anymore, and not only did he fail to kill Peter, but it also got twelve innocent civilians killed and he didn’t even die properly himself…

I mean. That’s well past the point where I would’ve broken down into total, “what the fuck even is my life, why am I trying to do everything right and only getting it wrong and making everything even worse” desperate pained laughter at the absurdity and unfairness of it all — and I don’t even prize loyalty as highly or in the same way as Sirius

But on the other, loyalty then became one of the only things that kept him relatively sane throughout his time in Azkaban — because by his own standards for and definitions of loyalty, Sirius was equally guilty in James and Lily’s murders as Peter was, which made any of these thoughts easy for the Dementors to leave him at the mercy of.

His innocence of selling them out and murdering Peter and twelve Muggles wasn’t a happy thought even without the self-punishing sort of angle, because in getting to that point, he’d betrayed Remus (thinking he’d been the spy), unwittingly been party to betraying Lily and James, been unable to keep Harry from getting sent to live with the Dursleys, and Peter had betrayed all of them and gotten away with it — and all of this meant that his innocence was one of the only things the Dementors couldn’t take from him that wouldn’t be quite as horrible and possibly debilitating as memories of his abusive parents, the brother he’d failed to save, being involved in an active civil war……

And finally, he broke out to pursue the one goal that had sustained him for just over twelve miserable years of torture — killing Peter in vengeance/as justice for James and Lily, and getting whatever was coming to him after that, with him probably hoping it was death or a Dementor’s Kiss, because that would be a fitting punishment for a traitor, in his mind — because thanks to Peter-Scabbers being in the Weasleys’ picture in the Prophet, Sirius got the miracle clue that he needed and could finally do the only thing he thought he could still do right by James and Lily

What talked him down from that, in the end? Harry, on two counts:

1. Harry going, “what the shit, my dad didn’t die for this, he wouldn’t have wanted his best friends to become murderers, not even for his sake”

(which… is a remarkably chill thing for him to say, after he’s totally intended to kill Sirius, assumed with Hermione that Remus had been helping Sirius and flown off the handle at him, capslocked at Snape because he was being obtrusive and getting in the way of Harry learning the whole truth, cast Expelliarmus at Snape with Ron and Hermione and in so doing knocked him out cold for like 20+ minutes whoops, had his preconceived notions about everything completely rearranged, and been brought face to face with his parents’ actual betrayer, who proceeded to try and blame Sirius, then manipulate Harry for mercy.

just…… Harry James Potter, everybody. please give this boy some credit for having one of the most singularly un-chill nights that a person could ever possibly have, and still going, “dude, maybe we shouldn’t straight-up murder the guy who sold my parents out to Voldemort, maybe that isn’t cool and there’s a better way to handle this”

and then please give him a hug and a nap and therapy, jfc help him)

and 2. The eventual moment they have of going

“So btw, I’m your godfather”

“Yeah, I know, I eavesdrop in my dad’s Cloak a lot”

“If you don’t want me in your life once my name’s cleared, I totally get it tho”

“What, like? Come and live with you? Not have to go back to the Dursleys ever again?”

“Yeah, but I get it if you don’t want to, I mean you just met me and had to stop me and Remus from trying to straight up murder a dude right in front of—”

“NO WAY HELL WITH THAT WHERE DO I SIGN UP”

“Wait really”

“YES OH MY GOD PLEASE I WANT YOU IN MY LIFE I WANT TO COME LIVE WITH YOU PLEASE PLEASE CAN I REALLY”

“……………… :DDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!”

and then Remus forgot to take his potion and everything went a bit fuck-up but… y’know. it was really sweet until that interrupted things, and it did still give Sirius a reason to live and, like, NOT just straight up murder Peter.

I forget how I was going to wrap this up

I’m sorry it’s so long and messy

uh

also, I’m narratively at peace with Sirius’s death in a way that I never will be with Remus’s or Tonks’s

but holy shit, all three of them deserved so much better than this

what the fuck, Joanne

this wasn’t necessary

you made your point

Molly and Arthur would’ve actually deserved it because they are terrible, I’m just saying

You could’ve used their deaths to unfairly punish Percy for standing up for himself and leaving a shitty abusive family life, and I know you would’ve enjoyed it because you clearly loved forcing him to grovel and apologize to the people who hurt him just to be allowed to fight in the final battle with the Death Eaters

Why not commit to how much you despise my tall ginger son and kill his parents too, Mum, I’m just saying

Sirius, Remus, and Tonks all deserved better than that

Also, not a single goddamn one of them is straight

Because fuck you, Joanne, that’s why

The end, by me