#and like well done everyone for being so subtle and not pointing it out. lmao

[mihotose]

never forget spi's broken mic

[humanpurposes]

Initial thoughts on Season 2 Episode 1

I understand there's a big cast, there are more locations, we're introducing new characters, but the scenes really need room to breathe and just exist within the story. There was so much jumping around, compared to 1.1 which was a lot more focused in terms of storytelling, but then we've got a lot more going on here.

The visuals are gorgeous, there are some really good interactions, but overall I'm somewhat underwhelmed.

I loved starting off in the North, the raven flying to Winterfell while Goodbye Brother played genuinely made me tear up. And for what little time we got with Cregan Stark I liked his conversation with Jace. Look at these two kiddos taking their responsibilities head on!!

Rhaenys ate Daemon up hehe. Daemon's still a loser.

So you could give me Criston "muff muncher" Cole but not a single line of dialogue from between Baela and Jace :/ I love the idea of Alicole being canon, but I expected their relationship to be a bit more subtle, a bit more tentative rather than having two sex scenes shoved in our faces with no explicit buildup from season 1.

I love Aegon trying to be a dad and how he looks at Jaehaerys in the small council. I like that he's more willing to take on the role as King, and whether he is looking for validation or if he's being strategic, it's interesting that he points out the importance of keeping the small folk happy, because he's absolutely right.

The disconnect between Aegon and Helaena breaks my heart. It's the point Tom and Phia made about them being parents, siblings and spouses, and they still can't find common ground. What gets me as well is that they're both trying to be good parents. They clearly love their children despite the terrible example of parenting they've had growing up, and the fact that they themselves are so young.

Otto's done with everyone lmao.

I wishhh we got more of the immediate fallout of Storm's End on the Greens' side. I wanted to see Aemond get berated, I wanted more panic from their side when they realise they're heading for war and the danger that will put them in.

Rhaenyra's limited screentime was really effective for me. Her finding Arrax's wing, her reuniting and grieving with Jace, the funeral, Emma plays those silent moments so well.

Blood and Cheese... I'm trying not to judge this too harshly because to be fair, I did have an idea in my head of what this scene was going to look like. I thought there would be more hysterics, and then it all happens so... simply. Phia did an incredible job with what she was given, and I do find it convincing that Helaena would shut down a little bit, that she'd go into this state of shock and want the situation to be over with as little fuss as possible. That's the thing with trauma as well, it's not always melodramatics and screaming and crying, sometimes it is just as simple as, "this awful thing is happening."

I wish there had been more buildup for this as Helaena's moment. As @ai-megurine said, this scene should have been told from Helaena's POV, her sharing a moment with both of her children not knowing these are Jaehaerys' final moments. I appreciate they tried to create a bit of an emotional connection between him and the audience with him in the small council chamber, this really could have set us up for a really gut-wrenching moment. That being said, sound will always get me, hearing the sawing was horrific, and the muffled crying killed me.

Is it a bit of a cop out that the assassins were the ones who decided to kill Jaehaerys and not Aemond? Daemon's the one going "a son for a son," so in a way it feels like a "will no one rid me of this troublesome priest" moment. They were technically following orders. I like this illusion of control when it comes to violence. Rhaenyra is as cautious as she can be in 1.10 because she knows things will get out of hand if she acts on her grief. It makes perfect sense that she wants Aemond dead, but then she's made the order for bloodshed and she can't fully control what happens next. Just like Aemond may not have intended for Luke to die the way he did, but he acted on impulse with terrible consequences.

[ultraviolet-cello]

Aw man. Today's the last day of @tristampparty and I am surprisingly sad about it. I'll be catching up the days I missed at some point, but I've chucked all that I've written, including today, into a google document and I apparently wrote 7.5k words over the course of episode 6 to today.

That's! A Lot!

I really wanna thank everyone who reblogged and gave me their additional thoughts/commentary, and special thanks to Revenantghost for organizing this whole thing! you do good work for this fandom i am giving u a gold star

With that, here we go into Episode 0 - High Noon at July. CWs for pregnancy discussion and a less detailed than last time but still present analysis of sexual assault and transphobia, marked with a [CW] Ofc, spoilers for Trimax and Tristamp

Cowboy kid Knives is something u can pry from my cold dead hands but it's also,,, I don't watch a lot of westerns, but the way Knives describes it seems like he likes the high action and justice. Which yea. yeah.

A lot of ppl interpret Vash then saying that he doesn't like that sorta stuff as him having always had pacifistic tendencies but I don't really read it that way? I just see him being rather similar to Trimax Vash - chill kid with his own interests and hobbies and Knives being the very oversensitive kid so outshines him initially.

Regardless of version of Trigun (except 98. 98 didn't know shit about knives lmao), Vash and Knives have always started off wanting to coexist and be peaceful; it's just how they reacted to it later that differs. In this case, Knives wants to stand up for his friends and make a peaceful world through that, and Vash is more passive in that he just wants to have faith in humanity.

Not to mention they are kids. Young, idealistic kids. This is pre-Tesla, they don't know the extent of how horrible the world is. The loss of innocence and subsequent breakdowns relating to The Horrors is yet to come.

[CW] Mmmmm they really don't make the pregnancy imagery subtle now do they dfgkjdfjk

I also think there's like - merit in also interpreting Knives as trans. Not Just because i think he's also very trans coded (A lot of his breakdowns and story arcs have reflections in how some trans men overcompensate masculinity in a Bad Way. That's a very small subsection of trans guys btw but I am speaking from experience. I got better tho). Anyway it makes the fact that Knives is disregarding Vash's bodily autonomy very much Worse if you take the male plants are trans analogy into it.

He's so far gone that he's willing to do to Vash what would be the worst thing to be done to him; Violating his body to rebuild and make him a perfect independent ("remind him of biological reality"), physically overpowering him ("taking the aggressor, commonly masculine role in sexual assault") to do what he wants. Disregarding the wants and needs of the Plants ("women +fem-presenting ppl that he originally set out to protect because he knew their experience and wanted to help and still has that trauma from witnessing that trauma")

Ofc that's just a reading of the scene, but I quite like it as a trans guy because that makes a really good villain with trans themes/motifs! I hate him so much (affectionate)

No, no she doesn't. Meryl is making a choice and she's gonna damn well stick to it! She's been given agency and she's gonna spend it in the most eldritch horrific scene that someone on that planet could spend it lmao. Well, no Knives takes most eldritch and horrific. Meryl's second tho

Okay this fucking scene drives me INSANE. This is a memory, clearly, but it's one that's being tampered with. Vash asks Knives if they can get along with humans, and then Knives immediately messes with the memory to make sure that he says that he'll protect Vash no matter what. But that is very clearly not what was originally said, so... What did he say? What was present day Knives so desperate to cut off?

I've talked about the narrative being biased against Knives a lot, but something I haven't talked about is that Knives kinda tries to contribute to that narrative a lot. He wants to seem like he never cared about humans, he wants to seem like he always planned this and was going for justice ever since he was a kid. He tells Vash the Tesla incident was just a small grain of sand, he uses Luida to tell everyone he wants to kill Rem, he's unbearably cruel to Vash to make his point. The only difference is that he wants to be right.

So he doesn't let us see what the kid version of him says, because that would contradict the narrative he's built for himself.

I really wanna give props to Studio Orange here for both the design and way they modelled the wing here, that's a really difficult task when the guy you're putting a wing on has a tight as hell bodysuit. But the anatomy holds up surprisingly well!

Also many people have pointed out that the plant mech looks a lot like Rem, and Knives staring into the face of a Plantish representation of his mother that is created and controlled subconsciously by his brother and saying he was rejected is. It sure is a scene!

ONCE AGAIN. INCREDIBLE EFFECTS. I also would like to once again point out the angelic motifs of Knives' design here.

Also Vash saying this is SO important because Meryl!!! is so important!!! I see a lot of people brush Meryl's space in the story off and it Enrages me because Meryl is one of the most important people to Vash. Aside from our frontline yaoi soldier Nicholas D. Wolfwood, Meryl has one of the most tangible impacts on Vash's character.

When Vash is in his breakdown in Trimax, Meryl is the one to kneel at his side and believe in him; When Vash is having his god awful horrible mindscape time in Tristamp, Meryl does the same. When Meryl is kidnapped in Trimax, Vash instantly jumps out of a window in the chance of getting her back. Vash trusted her enough to fire the ion cannon in the sand steamer episode. He immediately went to July the moment she and Roberto were kidnapped.

Meryl has so much faith in Vash and she's insane for that, but Vash recognizes her and that faith pays off in giving him the strength to carry on. He heard her voice, too :]

Also oh to be floating slowly down to the floor while you're a meter away from a cube with the power of an atom bomb while someone named Millions Knives is summoning millions of knives in front of u. Meryl has guts, man.

And now that Vash has gotten his gun back, he's back to using it as a tonfa! (check I think my analysis of episode 7 for more on that). Watching for the swing blocks, the forearm guard, and thwacking the knife tendrils out of the way

This fight scene has soooo much love and care and detail in it I love it so much actually. From seeing Vash's bullets to all the expressions and beautifully detailed firing, there's so much detail in a quick space that you really have to slow it down to see everything.

Seriously how strong is Knives to be able to have a feasible chance again Vash's prosthetic - and Vash matches him! Also the chomp

Now something that I have the shakiest of theories on is that after summoning The Cube, Vash starts moving in a far more controlled manner, he stands still when reloading, he has his movement flurries and then stands still to aim. Which uh. Studio Orange works in 3d, but those are 2d animation techniques. He's moving like 98 Vash.

There's a lot I admire about Studio Orange's use of 3d (I am a mid-tier 2d artist lmao) but I love love love that they're able to get all these really nice, creative camera shots that would be impractical in 2d (all those overhead shots, for example, have a chance of turning about bad/looking weird in 2d, and puts more strain on animators, but 3d you have the models from every angle already. 3d isn't easier by any means, but it does have its strengths)

Also. how Did Wolfwood get over here, dare I ask. mans climbed a tower in just a few minutes what is Wrong with him

Also a nice detail, Vash usually has perfect trigger discipline, but he falters here against Knives, probably because he's been already shooting, but hey, he's stressed. I'll give him a break.

I also appreciate exactly how superhuman Wolfwood is now. Tristamp Wolfwood is on a different level. Like 98 Wolfwood is just some (attractive) guy, Trimax Wolfwood has a lot of gory body horror going on and a subtle kind of endurance/strength, but Tristamp Wolfwood just jumped off a very tall building holding a grown woman and the Punisher and was fine.

Oh hey, same symbol on the tower as was on the sandsteamer and on Vash's wanted poster - symbol of July, probably

Very horribly, Knives probably did just save Vash's life here. But also the rest of July's life (though ofc he just extended the timer)....

I'm not quite sure When Vash started using plant bullets, but he's definitely using them now. Also the nails on his prosthetic are a nice touch!

THE FLYING SAUCER STRIKES AGAIN. I wonder if that's gonna be the basis of the Ark, if that's the route season 2 goes.

I also. Was that allI the Plants collected that escaped in this, or were there a bunch still running in July that get obliterated too? Did Knives inadvertently cause the death of more plants? I mean, when Knives gets revived in Trimax he definitely causes the death of at least 2 plants (there are a couple of bulbs in the background of the blast radius, plus the one that was used to revive him... she uh. Didn't look like she was doing so hot)

Vash's little speech is always so,,, intense. He has such a strong sense of character and it's admirable how well he sticks to his morals despite it all.

On a more body horror note, Knives can survive a long fucking time trying to grab The Cube. In Trimax he gets hit with the angel arm and practically disemboweled instantly, but Tristamp Knives can take over a minute of just like. being right in the direct path of fire. They're really gonna have to work to reconstruct him. Good luck, Legato!

UFO SPOTTED !!! LEAVING JULY AS IT IS DESTROYED !! NOT CLICKBAIT !!!

^ I made that long ago and needed to use it somewhere dfgkjdfg

[RAUCOUS CHEERING]

And ofc I have to bring up Eriks :] I don't actually have too much to say abt him. Studio Orange strip this man and make him bark like a dog next season or we will riot

CHRONICA MENTION!!!!! YAYYYYYY

And that's kinda. It.

Man I have had such fun over the last 12 days, I've really discovered a love for analyzing and theories and putting that out there and chatting with people about Trigun :] I should do this more often lmao but I do want to get back to drawing. I'll find a balance, then!

Thank you all for coming, and Wow if you made it this far I must be doing something right lmao.

[hikennosabo]

#tristampparty day 6, episode 6: once upon a time in hopeland

THE HALFWAY POINT OF @tristampparty BABY!!! this is another episode i've watched multiple times on its own so... LET'S GOOOOO

and we start right out the gate with

wolfwood vial count: 2

i don't think i need to keep saying that masaya onosaka is the radio dj... he's been a constant...

LOL, LMAO, EVEN

"disposal," though... we know all about the last run, but what else does disposal entail. like what do they do with the. um. the corpse? and the word "disposal"... yeesh...

so they say, even though it's obvious bullshit. but i do wonder. conrad is in charge of july, EoM's base is in july, etc etc... but how many people actually know what's going on? who does "the july government" consist of besides conrad? what about the civilians living in the city? EoM's cover is flimsy at best, they're suspicious as hell, so how deep and how far does the propaganda machine reach that this can just... keep going on?

all this planet has is radio and newspapers, no TV, no internet, and everyone is struggling just to survive... we saw just last ep how EoM had a grip on one village to the point where it was normalized to sacrifice children... just how good are they at controlling information? jeez. roberto and meryl's job as reporters is more important than ever.

we see that part of wolfwood's designated role is to go after deserters and traitors, so that's another way of controlling information, but. he's just one guy. so they probably have more assassins than just him. maybe the rest of the ghg that we haven't seen yet? there's livio, too, but... how long has he been with EoM at this point? the timeline's so unclear on this, i don't know... we know it took "months" between wolfwood being taken by them and his escape attempt + livio(/razlo) joining, but we don't know how long ago that was either... presumably it would also take "months" for the experiments to be done on livio, or maybe even less time? uhhhhh (steam comes out of my ears from thinking too hard)

......i'm less than 3 minutes into the episode. let's continue.

it's cute that they shrug simultaneously. mad at each other but still in sync... :')

no idea why the orphanage would be highlighted on the map except for foreshadowing purposes, but it looks like the steamer stops at... uh... *squints* taradiddlescoast... deucedump?!... orange bazoo... who tf is naming these places?!

:') aha. ahahahahaha. ahahhahahahaha. ah. uah. ue. ueeeeeeaaahhh

we already know that the sandsteamer route passes by the orphanage. so i like that there's a sandsteamer visible in the distance. very nice subtle attention to detail here

i feel like people are always quick to point out that livio and wolfwood being siblings is specific to stampede only but i DON'T care, this is my FAVORITE interpretation of their relationship, i really love it so much and think it enhances the narrative and nicely contrasts the relationship between vash and knives. orange was SO big brained for this and i'm not kidding. they're brothers in the manga too, to me.

the dub line here is "stop, livio! he's not who hurt you!" which just tears me into a million pieces, thanks!

...if i remember correctly... the "great sand ocean" is called as such because things just sink into it, right? (hmm... wonder how many crashed ships sank into the sand ocean...) hence the boat-like vehicles that are used to cross it. as we can see, the bad lads gang uses what look like windsurfers. and yet wheeled vehicles seem to fare just fine...?!

we never see what the test is. huh... i'm reminded of the promised neverland all of a sudden

nicholas gets selected and the bell rings... can i point something out? the bell's presence in scenes... what the bell represents... it has the EoM logo on it. well, so does the building. but notably, we see the bell in the scene with livio and wolfwood on the roof at night and also in the scene of them cuddling which i posted above. they're bonding and they love each other but the eye of michael is quite literally looming over them... and over the orphanage as a whole...

i've already talked about this in my bookclub posts but i want to talk about the orphanage's relationship with EoM again. it's literally run by them... there's NO cover story here, they're CLEARLY suspicious as hell. in the manga, chapel came by himself to pick wolfwood up and the cover story was that they would be repairing churches, right? and everyone genuinely believed he was going off to live a better life. here it's just. a bunch of guys in suits and masks. obviously suspicious. they run the place, so i guess there's no need for a cover story...? but iirc in the manga EoM was also using the orphanage as a "source" for soldiers, right? like i think chapel says something like that, doesn't he? am i misremembering?

i have so many questions. there's no confetti. what does that mean. this is a lot more lowkey than wolfwood's departure in the manga. no cheering, no invitation to come back/saying this is always his home, just... polite waves. and melanie looks... unhappy. how much does she know? how much of a choice does she have here? ...huh. i'm reminded of the promised neverland again.

what does this mean for... y'know. The Scene. like. the confetti is important. the kids loving nicholas so much and cheering while saying goodbye is important. why did orange take those out what are they planning what does it MEAN!!!!

wolfwood is "test subject HL1-06" and i have no idea what that means and we can't determine from this how many kids came before him either.

wolfwood vial count: 3

hi sweetieeeee i love youuuuuu i love youuuuuu

see this gets the gears turning in my head regarding the timeline again. legato says this, and we see some flashforwards (i guess in this context that's what they are) to wolfwood killing people, including the guy from the beginning of this episode and monev from the last episode... (over which legato calls him a loser, lol?! even though that's very much not the reason why wolfwood killed him, and we know it) so how long was wolfwood working for EoM before he was given the job to "babysit" vash?

i already talked about this in one of my bookclub posts but there's the change in livio's motivations, too... he's chasing after wolfwood... as opposed to (razlo) wanting to be needed... what does it mean. man, i really hope orange doesn't do razlo dirty whenever he shows up for real.

THIS CLEARLY ISN'T STRINGS. WHY IS LEGATO'S POWER DIFFERENT IN EVERY VERSION OF TRIGUN I SWEAR TO GOD like it's telekinesis, right?! what does this mean for legato?! and his backstory?! strings are so fitting for him thematically, so i don't know what they could be planning here!!

kouki uchiyama will see a guy with blue hair covering one eye and say "is anyone gonna voice him" and not wait for an answer (and then fight akira ishida over it)

CONRAD I'M GOING TO THROTTLE YOU. WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR EXPERIMENTS ARE DOING HUH. HUH!!!!

HGORHGHGHG.GHG. AHGHGGG.HGH.

thinking about the previous episode and eating rocks

livio hears wolfwood's name and that's when he opens his eyes and kicks vash off him... i initially thought maybe he just took the opportunity because vash was distracted, but he was distracted by the military guys right before this, so...?!

say that to knives and see what happens. also hello pretty boy you are so pretty i love you i'm blowing you kisses mwah mwah mwah mwah mwah

whenever legato talks about his confusion over fraternal love i can't help but remember nightow's comment about him maybe having a younger sister. which is interesting to think about but has never been relevant for any version of legato ever... buuuut... with orange's attention to detail, hmmm, who knows...

also i'm obsessed with legato driving hands-free and I AM ONCE AGAIN ASKING HOW HIS POWERS WORK IN THIS VERSION.

*wipes brow* let's end it there i wrote too much. i know i'll have a lot to say about the next episode too. they don't stop coming and they don't stop coming and they don't stop coming

[astridthevalkyrie]

Re: Your strong feelings against Regina - I won't be hard pressed bc it won't change my opinion (sorry my love for her is too great) but I'm curious to read if you've rambled at all about why you dislike her so strongly?

LOLL i've done a few rambles over the years and i tend to hatepost whenever i rewatch clips but i don't think i've ever done like a full on explanation on why. and yes please feel free to love her! idc how anyone feels about a fictional character.

some stuff i do like about her: lana parilla is obv very talented and pretty, her and jmo have rlly good chemistry, sometimes her one liners are super funny ("the entire charming family and their pirate mascot" is fucking hilarious i wish she said more stuff like that).

but tldr—she did way too many bad things and never properly redeemed herself for them.

in the first two seasons she does, like, incredibly bad stuff LMAO, including but not limited to: ruining snow's life after killing her dad, killing entire villages, casting the curse and the subtle ways she tortures snow in it, abusing henry (who is in therapy because he's told he's "crazy" for saying that he's aging while everyone else stays the same age), sacrificing children to the blind witch, the entire situation with graham (that she never confesses to, emma never finds out), trying to poison emma after emma tells her she's already leaving because she couldn't stand emma being in henry's life at all, separating the mad hatter from his daughter in the curse even though the last time they saw each other the mad hatter helped her and she betrayed him+making him remember his real self for some extra bout of torture, kills a little boy's dad bc the dad didn't want to drop his entire life and move into town so that she could fulfill her sudden dreams of motherhood, then later taunts that boy when he's an adult about how she killed his dad.

and what happened to her with daniel and cora's abuse is definitely really bad, it just doesn't even come close to justifying any of this for me. she didn't need to marry snow's dad. she gets rid of cora and sends her to wonderland before she's married. she stays because she likes the feeling of magic and the idea of being queen (rumple is obviously a huge part of why she turned out the way she did, "hooking" her on a magic which ouat tries to compare to drug use, but the murderous intent was in her before she even met him).

and then her redemption. hooo boy. it starts in season 2, with her just deciding not to actively do harm because she wants henry to love her. not a bad start. then she tries to destroy the well that snow and emma want to come back from (to be fair, she does this to stop cora, but she knows emma and snow dying is a possibility and is very cool with this bc it'll make her henry's only mom). she then is upset that everyone in town isn't automatically cool with her, for some reason gets credit for "saving" snow and emma (from a trap! that she! set!), and when cora does come back, she teams up with her. like. the lady who actually killed daniel and ruined regina's life. that lady. teams up with her. stands by as her mother kills snow's nanny even though they already got what they wanted. and THEN she's angry that snow had the nerve to do to cora what regina's done to dozens of people and kill her.

and then for the rest of the show there's just no point where there's time for regina's redemption because they're always dealing with the next villain. peter pan, then zelana, then the snow queen, so on and so forth. at some point she's just decided to be redeemed and anyone who argues with that point either changes their mind or is portrayed by the narrative as a villain. some of her one liners that a lot of the fandom think are so cool make me beyond angry LMAO like she tells david "i will not be given parenting advice by a man who shipped his daughter off in a box" GIRL??? BECAUSE OF YOU??? the show continuously pushes the blame onto snow and david (but especially snow) for giving emma up as though they had a choice. regina knew about rumple's prophecy. she knew snow and charming's daughter would break the curse. she was not gonna let that baby live if snow and charming hadn't sent her away.

snow and charming and emma's characters are all completely turned into dust for her too. emma is forced to grovel because she brought back a woman from the past that regina wrongfully executed bc it happens to be maid marian. snow and charming do uncharacteristic "evil" things so that they can be like "see! they're all good and bad!" when even ooc snow and charming's worst doesn't compare to regina's best.

[pip-n-chips]

Everyone been talking to you abt Harper so I want to do it too. Although sorry for not being horny lol

What do you think about one dialog with a patient in asylum that says that Harper was a patient? I think about it a lot… Perhaps one of the main reasons why I like them

The text in question: "That Harper isn't a Doctor," a person mutters. "Not really. When I first came here Harper was a patient like the rest of us. But now suddenly Harper's our Doctor. THEY all play along, and everyone who might remember has conveniently forgotten. Or disappeared."

omg hi!! I love your art a lot kdhd, and no worries! I enjoy the non horny parts of the game just as much lmao

Harper isn't a real doctor, never has been. But he's clever, and knows how to work in the shadows to get what he wants, and he wants power (COUGH control freak COUGH)

The details are fuzzy for what got him landed in the asylum in the first place- maybe he went somewhere he wasn't supposed to go, maybe he saw something or someone* he wasn't meant to see. Maybe his facade was easier to break down in his youth, maybe he reached his breaking point.

*I'm a fan of the headcanon that Harper met/saw the Ivory Wraith at some point, even if it was just for a few seconds, and he couldn't get them out of his head no matter how hard he tried. Harper craves knowledge, so I wouldn't be surprised if his little obsession with the figure in the lake got taken out of hand as he tried to find out more. I can also see him having an encounter with the tentacles in the mirror, because I feel like it connects well with his experimentation later on. Either way, his mind is strong, but he can only hold on for so long until it slips from his grip.

ALSO a bit of an unrelated thought but I would also like to mention that while he was still mansplain manipulate gaslight girlboss in the past, he was less put together and less calculated like present day Harper. Part of it probably chalks up to teenage hormones since he'd probably be like 18 or 19 when the asylum thing happens, but also inexperience. (He's had less victims, and I like to think that's because a lot of his peers in his hometown thought he was a little fucking freak and avoided him like the plague lmfao, but other people- more specifically authority figures like therapists and teachers- were easier because they either recognized his talent or were wrapped around his finger. He told people what they wanted to hear.) He also had less control over his emotions and that caused more slips in his little facade + more impulsive decisions

Anyway, he gets himself landed in the asylum and he does NOT like it, because his sense of control is stripped from him. The treatment works, at least they all think it does. And maybe it does genuinely work at first, but it's hard to say where the line between it being real and him faking it lies. But either way, it builds up the trust of the staff according to plan

I headcanon that Harper turned the tables on his original doctor, and I wonder if he would have practiced hypnosis on fellow patients before making a move :0? Though I could just see him doing it for fun lmao,, Either way he sees it as a game and a way to get out of this god forsaken place.

He's subtle enough to not arouse suspicion, and he plays around a bit because while he's done this stuff before it's never been this big, but he's still confident in his abilities. He begins by sowing the seeds, putting ideas in his doctor's head, and it just escalates and escalates until he can make a big change.

I'm unsure if he'd act like he's always been a doctor here or transfered to the area, but I do know he'd make sure to delete any evidence of his previous,, position. If any staff speak up instead of turning their pretty little heads, Harper has a chat with them to clear up the confusion <3 (gaslighting and hypnosis xoxo). He doesn't pay as much attention to patients because they're crazy, they don't know what they're talking about. But if they're insistent then, well, it's off to the quiet room-

Hey, wait a minute!

What have you got me talking about? Those are just rumors, there's nothing to look into. And the patient who fed you lies is crazy, look at how paranoid they're acting. Why do you think they're here in the first place? Harper is a real doctor, always has been.

[sadisthetic]

end of the year fic asks! give us a behind-the-scenes look at "for want (for nothing)"; why did you include a scene, when and where did you figure out that one tricky sentence, which part wrote itself, things like that!

thats a fucking thing? well lucky for YOU i LOVE talking about my own writing and that fic DEFINITELY has quite a few "bts" things i could talk about lmao

first thing to start off with is that i actually rewatched and studied that corruption scene in canon quite a bit while i wrote this. i needed the refresher and Man did i realize i forgotten a bunch of major plot points (most of which werent actually relevant to the fic) lol. but anyways the structure of my fic is pretty strongly based on its canon counterpart and theres a lot of little things i took inspiration from and just injected more flavor to it. like kai uses lightning a lot??? which make sense production wise bc thats like. probably easiest element to show off and make it look cool. so yay! excuse to use my jay bias and favor using his powers lol

in general that fic was a means for me to write a character study for kais character which i love a lot. he is my second fav blorbo. i have a huge weakness for older siblings in media. and kais shift in character is so interesting even if it was never done with conscious intention. ninjago Definitely uses every single one of their characters as pawns to advance the plot of whatever rather than you know. treating them like characters who are people. so theyre inconsistent with or contradicting themselves. characters are used however the writers seem fit with the situation at hand. i think the corruption scene is a fair example of it. kai was over it right? the whole green ninja thing? and yet. anyways my fic was an attempt at reframing and adding context and depth to kais character bc man did think about these fucking legos a lot for some goddamn reason when its a bad show!!! maybe some of yall will hate me for saying it. but man. ninjago sucks more often or not. not Entirely BUT A LOT OF IT IS NOT OF THE HIGHEST QUALITY.

and that sorta gives me an awkward segue into lloyd. haha. you know the line "A brat who had everything handed to him by destiny. It wasn’t because he deserved it. It was simply because he was born special."? well. it makes sense in the context of the fic that kai feels this way bc thats the natural conclusion the fic flowed into. But Also. i wont lie. that is my own genuine thoughts about lloyds development as a character. lloyds writing fucking BLOOOOOWSSS. and none of it is his fault. its the writers fault. but MAN its the LAZIEST DESTINED HERO/LEADERSHIP CHARACTER ARC I EVER SEEN. IT COULDVE BEEN INTERESTING. but no it was too simple too forced too Cheap. too shallow. its like they picked his little minifig and decided he Must be the prophesied hero no matter what :) and they forced his little lego feets into the studs of Destiny above everyone else and made it happen in the easiest way possible. by simply declaring it. forcing him into the role unnaturally. and because hes the Chosen One that means hes very very very important right? so NATURALLY hes the leader also! HELLO HES A FUCKING BABY??? NO SENIORITY?? any leadership skills he gained is because he was Forced to develop them, not because hes a natural leader. i could talk shit about his treatment all day but all in all i hate the flagrant favoritism the show gives lloyd when its meant to be a show with a team dynamic. i dont hate lloyd but i sure do hate the way his character "developed". this fucking baby was fed too many rare candies and some evolutionary stone on top of it. hes not the best he could be as a character because none of it naturally happened. no care put into developing his characters. i could accept lloyd being the green ninja or being a leader. if it were written well at least. ANYWAYS. kai is a subtle projection of me. or closer, a messenger. he was corrupted by me in way considering i was the writer lol. but it works because theres a bit of truth in there isnt there?

also that fic also happen bc i wanted to writer fun elemental power stuff along with fucked corruption. i love fantasy power things. and i LOVE rancid rotting feelings

[arcplaysgames]

okay with THAT dissertation done, the rest of the shit I've done so far, which is finishing up a lot of SLinks! I have now completed Temperance, Sun, Moon, and Death. Let's go over them.

GET READY FOR SOME CARTOMANCY TAAAAAALK

who me? what? don't know WHAT you could be implying Kawakami hahaha anyway how about this weather, btw i'm super happy for you. wow what a crazy random happenstance! you deserve it, i love you.

I KNEW IT, SHE KNOWS

When asked how she figured out, she points out that the thing with Takase's guardians worked out way too well for her and Reverie was the only person she told. Which... yeah, that makes it p5retty fucking obvious huh.

lmao as if Reverie going "I need their names," in the previous scene wasn't a massive flag. I am not playing this subtle but also Kawakami is smart and I adore her.

Her SLink is complete!!!! So far, she's the best one in the game, to my utter astonishment. I'm glad I muscled through the awful start because this SLink has everything: mocking the player's teacher-maid fetish, an incredibly mouthy cool millennial lady, a genuinely tragic backstory without being soap opera-y, sympathetic portray of sex workers. IT'S GOT IT ALL.

Kawakami was kind of a very Standard portrayal of Temperance. It's not a super interesting card, it's just about having the emotional strength to find the path forward and to find balance in yourself spiritually and materially. It's often portrayed as an angel passing water between two cups-- cups are the suit of emotional intelligence. And they're my favorite suit, personally.

Kawakami starts the arc solidly in a reversed Temperance, she can't balance anything, the goblets are overturned, and all of her emotional strength is just pouring out onto the floor because she is so overworked, there is no well for her to draw from. Through the arc, she actually shares her troubles with Reverie, which in of itself is a show of emotional strength, and with his help manages to rebalance herself. Finally, she can take her eyes off the cups and look ahead to her future.

TEN OUT OF TEN, SO FAR SHE'S MY FAVORITE CONFIDANT.

I haven't been recapping it because it's.... genuinely not a link that's easy to summarize bc its a lot of politics and small moments, but I finished the Sun too!

OH SO THAT'S THE JOKE OF EVERY LINK HUH, EVERYONE KNOWS WHO REVERIE REALLY IS that's pretty cute actually, I like it.

Yoshida was this failed politician who got disgraced twenty years ago in a finance scandal, now returned to try and take office again. His whole arc is about his new ideals of empowering the youth and taking care of the elderly, and with the rise of the Thieves, he acknowledges them as a symptom of a broken system that needs massive reform.

You follow him through some intra-party political issues and his recurring thing is that he sticks to running instead of being someone else's right hand man, even when doing so would clear his name from the finance scandal that ruined him.

I'm NOT gonna lie, his final speech is good. He speaks about Reverie, "a certain young man" he met who is aspiring to change the whole, and though Yoshida cannot follow the same path as this young man, he hopes they will meet again at the top of the mountain they are both climbing together, separate.

It's really good honestly. And for the curious, Yoshida is a very interesting Sun to me. The Sun comes at the end of the Star-Moon-Sun sequence and those three cards are basically their own mini-journey. The Star is the herald that the story isn't over and you must continue. The Moon is the darkness that follows, full of illusions and distractions and madness you have to navigate. And the Sun is the light that comes after, is exuberant and joyful, and more than anything it is certain in itself. In the light of the Sun, all is revealed and laid bare. (Which is why it leads into Judgement soon after.)

Yoshida works for the Sun really well because the twenty years of scandal and shame have already happened to him, and he has made it out to the other side. Now, his ideals and purpose are illuminated under the Sun and he never strays from his path.

It's good! Eight out of ten on him!

DEATH! Goth Doctor!

lmao she figured it out too. I guess that's just the joke of every max rank, huh?

Anyway, I loved Tae for The Unnamed Arcana. She's great. I love that she's actually a goth, actually has a very morbid sense of humor, actually talks about death a lot. They really leaned into the whole vibe and I appreciate that.

Also her look is impeccable obviously.

Tae's whole thing is that she's undergoing the process of Death, the transformation the card deals with. With the lost of her prestigious position at the research hospital, she is stuck working in a small back-alley clinic.

She definitely goes through a period of real mourning for her past self, resisting the forward motion of her life. But slowly she begins caring for the locals around her and builds a new patient base. Really, the drama with her past patient and the miracle cure for her is an afterthought; the Death aspect is definitely rooted in Tae herself. And by the end of the link, she is still dour and morbid, but there is life to her voice again.

She's great. Seven out of ten.

So Mishima.

SIGHS. Okay. I hate Mishima as a character and I think he represents everything that is bad about the Phantom Thieves and it's his actions (which were completely unasked for and unprompted) that leads the plot to the clusterfuck we're about to enter with Okamura's imminent death. Fuck the phansite and fuck this phuckboy.

BESIDES THAT

yeah he's a half-decent Moon? It's complicated, actually.

So his set up as the Moon is pitch-perfect. The Moon card is a place a person comes to after great upheaval in their life. It's a dark, quiet place for contemplation and reflection. Best case scenario is that it's a stepping stone in your journey towards the new dawn and the Sun.

But there are strange images in the reflection and the reflected light of the Sun in the Moon can lead a person astray and into madness.

Again: the Moon is an environment of possible madness. The Hanged Man is a risk taken that might led to madness. The Hanged Man goes into the deal eyes open, knowing the stakes. The Moon doesn't know the danger around them and has to keep from lingering.

So as the Moon, Mishima goes from being Kamoshida's punching bag into this dark, quiet place where he doesn't know what to do with himself, only that he needs a purpose. He settles on the Phansite.

Now, I think the game is arguing that running the Phansite gives Mishima direction and purpose, letting him move forward in his path.

I think that's undercut by how much the game itself points out Mishima's actions led to various fuck ups. Remember when Reverie had to be the one to tell him to give back the fucking money he'd collected from "donations"? Honestly, most of the conversations in this SLink are just trying to drag Mishima away from his worse impulses.

Which... also kinda works! I say the game's intended portrayal of the Moon is dumb, but my own is just as valid. I don't think Mishima has moved on and grown at all. I think he's been dazzled by the false, reflected light of the Moon (metaphorically, the allure of his nebulous fame re: the Phansite and his repeated misunderstanding of how to use it without being a malicious prick) and instead of continuing on his journey, he is staring slack-jawed into the illusion.

Sooooooooooo.... Nine out of ten, honestly!

But also I hate Mishima.

ONWARDS, INTO IMMINENT DISASTER!

[bonesandthebees]

Okay, last batch. Tntduo time. First up, I really love all the drinks you describe. Itss just a tiny detail, but visualization them is a lot of fun and brings life into the scene. It’s also a subtle way to show how good Quackity is at his craft. It also leads straight into the flirting.

Now this could be my ace ass not properly picking up the context, but to be it feels like it’s more playful banter the way friends might flirt than actual flirting. Though there might be too much blushing for that. Either way, whatever’s going on it’s normal enough to neatly fit into a category. Either way, it’s something Wilbur has never done before. It’s a new human experience and something a normal person of his age would do. Though being a normal person also means having to do the dishes and laundry like the rest of us plebs.

Even still, Wilbur isn’t ready to consciously accept that he’s just a human. Yet he feels like he has no right to call himself the Pythia. Because he doesn't want to leave and he doesn’t want to get a vision telling him to leave and he’s not even worried that Clara might be trying and failing to reach him. Well, he isn’t until he realises that he should be glad she can’t reach him and then the religious guilt kicks in.

This leads to him spilling his worries to Quackity, because in all this he’s a safe person to talk to. He’s a neutral party. And I’ve said before he’s what Wilbur could have become if he hadn’t been chosen to be the Pythia. [What’s a Pythia to a non-believer?] just a normal human being with some extra fancy title and privilege.

And so the little Phoenix in his chest comes to life again sending smoke from the ashes as we slip into only pronouns territory. And Quackity asks good questions to. Would it be bad if Clara had given up on him? For Wilbur it would be terrible, but everyone with eyes can see how much it hurts him. It would be better in the long run, but Wilbur’s not ready to see that. Because it’s been drilled into him from age 12 that his only purpose is to serve Clara.

He is nothing but an empty vessel and it runs back to the existential crisis of whether he even deserves to live if he’s not serving her. Though this time around it’s less “I don’t deserve to breath if I’m not serving her” and more “this is all I know how to do, what else am I supposed to do? I don’t know how to do anything else?” which is pretty close to the normal “what am I going to do with my life” everyone else has like Quackity points out, except with builds-in additional “am I not good enough?”.

And then we circle back to the empty vessel and we get another way of dealing with it. The Quackity way, which is somehow even unhealthier than whatever Wilbur and Tommy are developing. Quackity’s intention is to make a point that Wilbur is just like everyone else. That point is ‘if I pinch you, you feel pain just like everyone else’.

They have a different definition of empty. Wilbur thinks that empty is what he is because that’s what he’s supposed to be, but Quackity knows that empty people can barely function. Empty people have no personality. They wouldn’t banter and flirt with him. They might not even react when you hurt them. And that’s what he’s trying to show Wilbur. He’s not empty. But Wilbur has an entirely different definition of being empty. And even by that one he’s ‘failing’. So Quackity’s way doesn't really work. It doesn’t shattered Wilbur world view (not in one go anyway), but it does make him feel very human.

And this ask is getting long, so I’m cutting it off here, but I just noticed the invisible countdown above his head comment, which is definitely foreshadowing for the vision at the end.

(1/?)

-🌲

lmao thank you for the compliment about the drinks I describe, but I gotta be honest the drink wilbur has in ch 18 was straight up a drink I had once at a bar that I still think about to this day. yes it tasted like chocolate strawberries, yes it was pale purple, and yes it had bourbon in it. I do not understand how the bartender did it at all but she was fantastic. I desperately want to go back to that bar. I'm also gonna attach a picture of it at the end of this under a read more bc it's a very pretty drink (but the picture is shit lmao)

the thing is with the tntduo flirting is that it's not able to be fit into a box. maybe some of it's genuine, maybe it's just jokes, but it's not clear on either side. but most importantly, like you said, it's a normal human experience. wilbur is finally experiencing genuine flirting and not just being forced to flatter rich people at parties.

gotta love when wilbur's having some Thoughts and the religious guilt suddenly kicks in and he spirals again. classic.

yes that's exactly why he spills to quackity! he's the only true neutral party in all of this! and that's also partly why wilbur is so drawn to him. he's a non-believer. no matter what wilbur does or says quackity doesn't view him as anything other than just a guy. even the deathlings, while recognizing him as a person, still view him as Clara's Chosen. there's still something there. quackity doesn't have that.

god. it would be so good if clara had given up on him. maybe he finally could've gotten some peace after he got over the religious guilt and anxiety about all of it.

"The Quackity way, which is somehow even unhealthier than whatever Wilbur and Tommy are developing" when I tell you I cackled at this. you're so right they are even unhealthier than the codependency circus that is crimeboys rn and that's saying something. gotta love tntduo. but yes that's exactly his point. wilbur is made of flesh and blood and feels pain just like everyone else. he's not empty, and quackity knows empty. he's seen it sitting at his bars enough times to recognize it at a glance, and wilbur is anything but empty.

(drink pic below for funsies lol)

mine was the drink closest to the camera. you can't tell in the lighting of the pic bc the entire bar was lit up in shades of orange and yellow, but it's a very pale purple color. also sorry the pic is terrible this was my 3rd drink of the night and I was, uh, more than tipsy by the time I took this

[rosethreeart]

I LOVE UR ABIGAIL ANALYSES the subtle differences in dynamics between characters always gets me heeheeing with a horribly evil grin on my face…

I feel like a lot of people tend to overlook how America being a woman would affect the way other countries–especially ones with shared history–interact with her in favor of talking solely about how it would change the way they View her. Which, don’t get me wrong, is a valid analysis; I looove “power hungry America who kind of scares the shit out of everyone”, I just think there’s a lot of hidden potential in the question of “how would people TREAT her as a woman?”

I know some people hc nations to be sort of “above” things like misogyny and racism because they’ve lived for so long that it’s almost below them at this point to even care anymore, but imo it’s the complete opposite. They’ve lived with/under those ideals for so long that it’s extremely difficult for older nations to really shake them off for good, so while they don’t go off spewing misogynistic bs all day, every day, they do still hold some of those fundamental ideals that (cough negatively cough) influence the way they interact with female characters. (Abigail, in this context)

I think a lot of older countries, especially ones with a heavy history of chivalry/“fair maiden 🥺” ideologies, would be MUCH more “protective” of her, so to speak, because of an ingrained perception of women as needing to be protected. So they’re not protective in a genuinely affectionate way, just in a “You can’t be mean to girls, dude!” way. Which opens up a whole other can of worms in regards to patronization + the way Abigail responds to that but I will Not get into in ur inbox for the sake of your sanity bc this ask is already way too long LOL

ANYWAYS ALL THIS TO SAY, I love your analyses and I especially love how you focus on the physical/ interactive dynamics between characters and not just other characters’ internal perception(s) of a character.

OH MY GOD THABJ YOU HOLY CRAP 😭💖💖💖

YES YOURE SO RIGHT!!! There are so many things that people don’t really talk about when it comes to the “if X was a girl instead”!!! ESPECIALLY when it comes to woc (which I won’t speak too heavily on as I’m extremely white(/white passing)

And while I do think that a lot of nations WOULD be more open minded I still think they have a lot of those negative beliefs ingrained in them still, just because they’re aware that the way society treats them is wrong doesn’t mean they’ve done all the work to unpack all those beliefs and how they’ve been affect by them as well as their role in the participation of it.

Like these are people with really dark pasts just purely based on the nature of their life spans and what they are (I’m not even gonna get into the whole cans piled onto cans of worms that the really bad and morally wrong stuff here). They’ve done bad shit and have been through a lot of bad shit. It would 100% affect the way that they interact with others and even view themselves. These are prideful creatures (for the most part I have options on how Abigail would view herself as a personification, person, and US citizen that beg to differ)! They’re all stubborn as hell and while extremely adaptive towards change (as it can quite literally be a matter of life and death if they don’t) but that doesn’t mean that they completely understand why the change is occurring or what that means for them as a person, let alone to the other nations around them.

also PLEASE do go into it id love to hear what you’d have to say!!!

The internal perceptions when it comes to characters is only half the fun!! What’s the point in analysis and delving deep into it if you’re not gonna SHOW how it affects their interactions! Honestly this probably comes from a place of autism and the need to mask heavily and trying to understand others perception of the world lmao.

[captainderyn]

*raises hand excitedly* 5, 6, 19, 32 for Shep aske 👀

Whoo! Thank you for the asks for Ryn :D currently hopped up on caffeine because my dumbass thought it'd be a great idea to drink a ~latte~ this afternoon because I was tired so this might get a little rambly <3 lol

---

5. How well does Shepard know their crew? Not just the companions, but the folks making up the Normandy

Ryn makes a very strong attempt to know her crew well, including those who make up the non-core-team of the Normandy. For her, leadership is about building bonds with those who will be taking her orders and believes that trust and respect go both ways. So she knows everyone's names and makes a point to get to know them as more than just names and faces, even in ME2 when she's extremely shut down/withdrawn.

6. Initial reaction to EDI? Does it change?

Very suspicious tbqh. It doesn't help that when she's introduced to EDI she's already very overwhelmed and stressed because she's very recently "woken up" from Project Lazarus and is finding all the right-but-not-right things about being brought back (that's also another fic but...still not done ;--;). This includes the Normandy being the Normandy but...wrong. And now having EDI.

So for awhile she's not convinced the Illusive Man isn't using EDI to track their every move. But eventually throughout ME2 and into ME3 she warms up to EDI and they have a solid companionship. It breaks Ryn's heart to take the destroy ending at the end of ME3.

19. Are there any companions your Shepard just absolutely cannot vibe with or relate to

This is going to probably sound awful but Ryn doesn't truly connect with a lot of the ME2 companions. She doesn't let herself tbh/she's struggling too much with her whole resurrection and working with Cerberus. She's a very angry person in ME2 in a lot of ways and is very withdrawn into herself. She latches onto her familiar Garrus, Tali, and Joker for those she is closest to.

That being said, Jacob and Miranda catch the brunt of that coldness due to being the ones most directly involved in her being brought back/Cerberus. She eventually reaches acquaintanceship with both of them but they're never really friends (Honestly kind of the same with her and Samara, they respect each other professionally and that's really that).

She gets on a lot better with the ME3 crew, mainly because she's in a uh...not better place but reeling less from the whole death thing. That being said she has a very odd, sometimes strained relationship with James. Mainly because she's so stressed that his humor doesn't always land right with her.

(32 needs a readmore because I got a little rambly lmao)

32. What do they do when they have hit their limit angry, just incandescent with rage

Ooh okay so the thing about Ryn is that she keeps a very, very tight leash on her anger (and just about every very strong emotion that she faces when on duty) so when she starts to outwardly show it you know you've fucked up.

You can see her anger in subtle ways, her entire body tightens, she clenches her jaw, and her voice gets extremely clipped. In less subtly, her skin gets very blotchy with red/pink when she starts to get very angry.

It isn't really until ME2 and in the second half of ME3 that that control really slips from her grasp. In ME2 she lashes out a lot more verbally--snaps, really, gets short, tells the Illusive Man to fuck off. Even then her rage is focused inward and she usually releases it on her own through training or such.

Then when you push her enough, like when the Illusive Man lied about Garrus being Archangel, you get this:

Then it was Jacob who had pulled her off Miranda, when Ryn had finally snapped and shoved the Cerberus brat up against the wall, biotics snapping around her as she’d shouted that they had lied to her, making her believe she was alone.

Ryn gets very loud when she hits that limit of angry, like in ME3 when no one is listening to her about the danger of the Reapers, or in a-fic-I'm-still-working-on where her fitness for duty is called into question. She explodes, usually with yelling, and its probably because she keeps it so bottled up. Though I do want to reiterate this is not how she handled 98% of conflict.

Their “confidential talk” echoed throughout the crew deck. Penetrating the shuttered windows of the medbay and the sealed door as if Ryn was standing in the middle of the deck. [...] Ryn sat on the edge of the bed, face flushed a deep red that splotched down her neck. She clutched a crumpled piece of paper in her hand, held so tightly that her fingers were beginning to rip the material.

[dykeyote]

what if for the character thing i said elijah volkov for the funnies (PLEASE DON'T BLOW ME UP PLEASE DON'T BLOW ME UP PL)

i wont blow u up with my mind ..... TODAY ....... but i will do this bc i actually do have lots of thoughts on him hehe >:) many of those are just filled with hate

fav thing about him: oh hes an AMAZING villain hes so well written . he really gets under my skin like people talk about how his pet names are hot but i just could never relate to that because his pet names are so saccharine sweet it makes me shiver its like . his obsessive yet adoring affection is written in such a perfect way that makes you simultaneously get lovebombed by his kindness alongside sydney while Also feeling so creeped out and uncomfortable and i think thats Brilliant writing

least favorite thing about him: that hes a stupid idiot motherfucker dumbass stupid idiot who i hate and whos stupid and awufl and gross and disgusting and i literally hate him so much that listening to the clock of meantime when he started talking i got so angry i started violently shaking and had to stop listening to the episode . i want to kill him . serious answer is obviously that hes a predator but thats obvious so more specifically the fact that he kissed sydneys stuffed animal creeps me otu SO bad every time thinking about it makes me gen sick . idk why it just freaks me out so bad

favorite line: "Don’t you think you deserve better than what he gives you? Don’t you deserve his utmost appreciation? Devotion? Love?...He should worship you!...Worship is everywhere, dear. It’s the deepest, truest form of love. It’s the kind of love that gives a lover purpose. Life worships you!" i just think its such a brilliantly written subtle example of manipulation and lovebombing and drawing sydney away from jedidiah . like it starts with the Genuine point that sydney deserves better and deserves more love than hes getting from jeddie and then transitions to warming sydney up to the idea of being Worshipped and then after doing so transitions to the idea of worshipping being the Only true real good love (with the implication being that elijah is the one who can Provide that love and jedidiah cannot) . it just really stood out to me when i listened to that ep i thought it was so well done and such a subtle form of manipulation

fav friendship: i hope he never has any friends ever for the rest of his days

fav relationship: if we're saying "what i think the best possible option is" elijadam is inoffensive to me . i hate elijah too much and i dont really think he deserves a relationship at all but like idk i understand the appeal i get why people like it i wont side eye u for liking elijadam the way i would for like . any other elijah ship lmao . if we're talking "ships i actually Like instead of just thinking theyre fine" then elijah x getting his head chopped off

least fav relationship: i hope everyone who ships him w sydney dies and goes to hell no matter what /ref

random headcanon: i headcanon that hes a loser idiot- omg wait thats canon

unpopular opinion: trying to think of a niche unpopular opiniont hats not just "i think ur kinda weird if u constantly post about how sexy he is" . hmmmm. i feel the same way about willy stampler actually but it applies to elijah also i think a lot of people just refer to him as "manipulative" instead of "predatory" to soften what he did a bit and i find it odd

song i associate w him: aphrodite your electric sexiness

[justalilpearlie]

hi guys dont mind me being insane again

im not tagging this too much cus its more of a personal ramble cus idk im feelin silly today and the BPD hits too hard. i wont be explainin what BPD is either so if u dont know either look it up or ignore this post,,

man i. have you ever loved someone so much you cry? /pos

like man i. its not romantic, may i clarify. most of my fps, except for my main one, are platonic. one of them is familial even

but i just. i feel like such a parasocial freako but i genuinly feel so intensely. its so positive too. if you ignore the crippling paranoia i always have abt my fps hating me or me being so intense they get uncomfortable...

but i just??? im not. normal about them.

i dont wanna sound creepy but they make my world so much better. id take a bullet from them. if give anything for them to be alright. i genuinly just REALLY enjoy their company and knowing theyre having fun with me aswell. knowing they enjoy me as a person. that im not a nuisance for the people i love the most.

and gosh i really hope they dont see this. i would feel so ashamed and embarassed if they did.

luckly i have better ways of copying with distress, attachment issues, jealousy, possesiveness, and all that other FUN (not) stuff that comes with BPD or rather specifically having an fp. A nice trustworthy psychologist (if u can afford it) does wonders to you, let me tell you.

its still hard sometimes but ive learnt to deal with it in ways that arent destructive to my relationships with those around me. i can cool down and such instead of lashing out or splitting for the most minimal things.

but now. for whatever reason. i went on a huge "positive" ramble instead. it was meant to be appreciation at the time, and still is, but i feel like its something that couldve scared them off. i showed some stuff to irl friends and online family, and everyone said theyd feel very appreciated if someone told them that stuff, but i cant help but feel is because they're my loved ones also and stuff. i really. really feel like i was too intense. i suck at showing affection in a normal way, a calm way, subtle way, like a normal person.

at this point i think. sigh i think its better if i just say nice things anonymously. i think if people, in general, not only my fps. but if people dont know affection comes from me they'll take it so much better than if they know its *me* in particular. and idk why! its just my brain being stupid again.

brains love doing that, dont they? being stupid. telling you everyone hates you oh so much no matter what you do. that theyre lying behind your back, and hate you in secret, theyre just being polite and allat.

well let me tell you, dear reader, whoever the fuck might read this, specially if its from the bpd tags: thats not true. sure, there might be assholes out there, but those people you think hate you despite how close you are, most likely dont. and i cant even get this through my own head but my sister repeats it to me all the time. "[name] talks so nicely about you and seems so happy seeing you". even then its hard to believe, i gotta stare at nice screenshots ive saved where i believe ive done something good, something worthy of appreciation, something that has not only meaning but an impact, a possitive one. and i know the chances of them actually hating me are low, but i still believe more in those chances than the proof.

i feel a bit delusional in a way. and i mean, i am, often times. but this is one of those thoughts- those god dammed thoughts where you're self aware yet- yet it doesnt shake the feeling away, you know? like no there is no proof, no logical proof at least, only what your mind twists into proof. but you still just "know it", yknow? even if you dont actually know shit and are very wrong. you feel like you do and it- it fucking sucks.

dont even get me started on splits and mood swings, highs and lows. Cause well. THATS NOT THE TOPIC OF THIS POST !! Lmao. i could go on for hours complaining tho. ough.

but yeah!! i just !! sorry, this took a turn. i just. needed to express myself idfk. i'll go back to posting abt minecraft men kissing soon or whatever, sorry normie followers /hj

i love them so much its overwhelming, yet i wouldnt change it for everything in the world, you know? not them. its hard but id rather endure it for them than have them not be THIS level of special to me anymore.

i really REALLY hope theyre not. uncomfortable by it tho. and wont dump me for it. i really wish i had a guide to how to and how to not mess up. so i could avoid doing dumb shit on accident.

and its funny cause theyre ppl that would absolutely tell me if im doing shit that bothers them, yet i believe theres smth else, stupid thoughts man. LEAVE ME ALONE FREDDY MERCURY!! UR SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD !! /ref

sighhhh anyhow yeah im dropping it here. bpd is a bitch. and to anyone out there dealing w it? godspeed. you can do this, i know life already sucks and this shitty dissorder doesnt help, but i know you can push through, mi gente bella.

Pearlo out. BPD hours rlly seem to be hitting at around 11-12 am, huh? /ij

[thesoftboiledegg]

I wasn't a huge fan of "Rick: A Mort Well Lived." It wasn't terrible, but it's kind of just...there?

For one thing, I'm not a fan of episodes of any show where the characters aren't really "them" (i.e., they're in different bodies or it's an alternate universe, like that Futurama episode where they're all animals.) I know it was still Rick and Morty, but you're not seeing them on screen. I realize that's just personal preference, though.

The concept was intriguing, but it didn't really go anywhere. Just rehashed the same thing over and over until it abruptly ended. Honestly, it reminded me of the snake episode from season four, which everyone loved and I hated, lmao. When they ended, I was like "...that's it?"

Justin Roiland did an amazing job with Rick's voice, though. Damn. He didn't have a ton of lines, but his dialogue was a standout. Justin put so much emotion into his voice. He also did a good job making all the parts of Morty sound unique--like yeah, they have the same voice, but they're distinct enough that it doesn't sound like one guy rambling for twenty minutes.

We've also had two episodes in a row that reference "Mortynight Run" from season two, which is actually one of my favorite episodes. The show's done a decent job of referencing past episodes without leaning on nostalgia ("Haha remember Blipz and Chitz? Remember the Jerryboree??") They're fun references that don't come across as fanservice-y.

But yeah...I dunno. It started out promising, but five minutes in, I was like "I don't know if I can sit through a whole episode of this," lol. The only scene I really liked was when Marta (was that her name?) argued with the president. That was a great portrayal of the two sides of Morty--the side that loves Rick and the side that hates him--duking it out and calling him on his bullshit.

And while I totally agree that Rick needs to stop being an asshole and tell Morty that he loves him, I thought this episode was kind of...heavy-handed? The characters flat-out say "I'm proud of you" or "You should say you love me" or whatever. The show's usually more subtle than that.

Rick keeping the machine alive so Marta (or Martina or whatever it was) can live out her life was nice but also heavy-handed and borderline OOC. I don't think he would've jumped in there and killed her or something just to be an asshole at this point in the series, but I don't see why he'd care that much, either.

Although I guess you could argue that he cared because she's part of Morty. Still, I can't believe I'm saying this, but I think the show might be getting a little saccharine. I thought "Solaricks" was a way better portrayal of Rick's transformation--he's gentler with Morty but still pulls back, like when he stops the hug. This episode was a liiiittle corny.

I don't even know what to say about Summer's B-plot, to be honest. I had trouble following it. I loved Peter Dinklage's voice, though. He has a perfect "bad guy" voice.

Anyway, I don't think this episode was horrible, but it's probably not going to end up on a lot of top-ten lists, lol. This episode could have gone a lot deeper since Rick's literally hanging out with representatives of Morty's subconscious. Rick and Morty have a LOT of shit to hash out, and Rick saying he's proud of him isn't going to cut it.

[ootahime]

analyzing every gojohime moment in the manga 😈

this series will probably have more than one part because tumblr only lets me upload ten images per post </3

warning: there are disgustingly long paragraphs in here and delusions

chapter 32

utahime’s first introduction!  akutami lets us know right off the bat that she thinks gojo is an idiot (so true).

chapter 32

i love the contrast between miwa and utahime’s reaction to gojo’s appearance.  

chapter 33

NAH BC TELL ME WHY HE WENT OUT OF HIS WAY TO NOT GET HER ONE LMAOOOO!!  when he traveled overseas to meet with yuta, he picked up the tribal protection charms and thought to himself, “let’s get enough for the kyoto students as a gift since i am such a great and caring teacher, after all.  mmm, i should skip utahime to make her mad~”  this guy puts way too much effort into getting on her nerves.  his mind = utahime brainrot

chapter 33

she’s laughing at him here because he’s getting disciplined for being a lil shit.  i wonder...what would he say if he saw her laughing at him like that?  

chapter 33

this interaction between them is a little strange don’t you think?   i feel like over the years he’s learned how to pick up her mood based on the way she’s acting towards him.  you’re probably thinking, “well any person can figure out how a person’s feeling based on the way they’re talking or acting.”  yes, that’s absolutely true, but it’s kind of different with this.  she’s acting normal.  utahime has a rather indifferent expression on her face and what she says is spoken in a calm tone, but gojo still asks her if she’s mad at him.  it’s likely that he knows her well enough to be able to notice these subtle things.  even if she wasn’t actually mad at him, he was being considerate for a split second, then he went and said, “of course.  i didn’t do anything wrong and all.”  what a guy LOLOL.  to me, this implies that maybe he made her genuinely angry in the past to the point where he realized that he went too far, and thus decided to be more careful of her feelings.  she has definitely gotten annoyed at him so many times after that so whenever she seems angry, he probably asks himself if he took it too far.  i’m curious to see if he can pick up if she’s upset with something that’s not involving him.  would he console her?  how does gojo satoru console someone?  

despite him always annoying her, she’s still courteous and brings him a cup of tea during their talk.  she didn’t have to go out of her way to get tea for him but she did.  that’s the kind of person utahime is.  a kind and caring woman who would never put her students in danger.  in the anime they were sitting far away and not facing each other like they’re doing in the manga.  she also has her own tea cup.  i think that little panel of her placing the cup down on the table and him picking it up to take a sip is a nice little detail.  it just proves that her hating him most of the time isn’t actually pure hatred but annoyance because of his shenanigans and teasing.

chapter 33

i touched upon this a little bit in my previous post, but i wish to go more in depth about this panel.  first of all, he ends the sentence with her name twice.  two times too many, mr. gojo.  i like how they can be serious with each other too LOL.  i wish we got to see them talk about the traitors because they did figure it out together after all.  does it always end in bickering?  can they interact with each other like adults all the way through?  somehow, i feel like that’s not possible when it comes to these two.  furthermore, notice how gojo confides in utahime about his suspicions.  from what we know, she is the first person he brought it up to.  i mean, i guess he has to start investigating the schools and would need extra assistance to save time, but he could have done it himself if he really wanted to.  by deciding to ask for her help we know that he thinks she’s trustworthy, smart, and strong enough to face whatever considerable risks this task may entail.  

i didn’t point this out in my other posts but see how he makes a hand sign in the last panel when she throws the cup at him?  gojo is manually activating his infinity.  why though?  about a year after the whole star plasma vessel incident happened, gojo develops the ability to keep his infinity up at all times by using the reversed curse technique to consistently heal himself to prevent exhaustion.  this means that it really makes no difference whether he leaves it on or off.  there are a few times where we can witness someone actually touching gojo.  for example, yuuji giving him a hug.  did he turn his infinity off, or was it able to deduce that yuuji was not a threat?  the erasers and pencils shoko and geto threw at him during his demonstration of his new ability aren’t dangerous normally, but is it the speed that makes them dangerous?  even if it did hit him, it wouldn’t hurt.  how does the infinity know when to allow an incoming object to touch gojo?  i believe it is up to gojo himself to let things touch him; his infinity restricts anything and anyone.  some people say it could just be the fact that water is not dangerous to him, so therefore, he has to manually put his infinity up.  i thought this was a reasonable explanation as to why he put up the hand sign when the tea was thrown at him, but then i realized that it couldn’t be.  remember the second opening?  it’s raining and everyone is carrying an umbrella, then it pans to gojo with a bouquet in his hand and rain drops slipping off his infinity.  if he DID manually put his infinity up to prevent getting soaked then that implies that he chose to turn his infinity off.  you can argue and say that jujutsu high is a safe place with students so there’s no need to have his infinity there, but do you remember when he stepped on the ants in front of gakuganji and yaga?  the ants were perfectly fine after which insinuates that his infinity prevented his shoes from crushing the ants.  he most likely had his infinity on during the baseball game even though he was in a safe environment.  how does this long tangent relate back to utahime?  well, it simply indicates that gojo trusts utahime so much to the point where he can be vulnerable around her.  turning off his infinity symbolizes completely letting down his guard  in a way.  

how about what happens next?  utahime throws the tea at him, he turns on his infinity to deflect it, and he responds with, “scary!  hysteric women aren’t popular, you know!”  why would he even say that LMAO??  utahime doesn’t even try to deny what he said either.  she just hits him with the good old, “i am your senpai!”  could it be that he’s trying to poke fun of her relationship status?  maybe, maybe not.  doesn’t he like people a lil crazy?  he did say that all jujutsu sorcerers have to be a little crazy because they’re willing to put themselves in danger constantly.  

chapter 0 p.1

i wonder who he’s thinking of when he said that.  could it be utahime?  it seems like he’s reminiscing or thinking about someone.  he wears an amused expression on his face as he laughs - almost like he’s seen his fair share of how scary women can get :>>

chapter 34

the pattern behind gojo and utahime is called yagasuri “fletching,” a traditional japanese design.  this design is inspired by arrow fletching.  it's a lucky charm for weddings and other celebrations since it's based on the Japanese belief that an arrow shot once never comes back.  brides were given kimonos with this pattern for good luck during the edo era (1603–1868) to ensure they would not have to return to their original family home.  this pattern can have numerous meanings such as steadfastness or determination to achieve a goal, or a wish for the happiness of the bride.  there is a belief that a bow and arrow represent the fight against evil.  honestly, this meaning fits the narrative of the story.  utahime and gojo are unearthing the traitors that are feeding intel to the curse users and cursed spirits.  they are in the middle while the kyoto students surround them, which could mean that it’s their job as adults to protect these children from the grasps of evil slowly making itself more prominent.  do you also notice that the arrows are pointed toward utahime from gojo?  from all the images i’ve seen, the arrows are usually pointed downward.  what could this mean?  is gojo trying to protect her (in the future (?)) or does he have a big fat crush smh...

i think it’s a good time to mention utahime’s clothing.  she’s wearing miko attire.  miko are shrine maidens who were once thought to be shamans (you connecting the dots?).  in their service to shrines, miko used to perform spirit possession and takusen (in which the possessed person acts as a "medium" (yorimashi) to communicate the divine will or message of that kami (god) or spirit; also included in the category of takusen is "dream revelation" (mukoku), in which a kami appears in a dream to communicate its will).  this was back in the old days, of course.  to become a miko back then (shaman), one needed to have potential.  neurosis, hallucinations, odd behavior, and hysteria (HYSTERIA HELLO???) are some of the signs that a person is being called to shamanism.  when a miko is communicating with a kami (god) or spirit by acting as a medium, she is in a trance-like state, and so she must learn techniques to control herself when this happens.  chanting and dancing were used to accomplish this, so the girl was taught melodies and intonations that were used in songs, prayers, and magical formulas.  all of this could give us insight about utahime’s technique and explains why she’s good at singing :)  maybe she can’t control herself when she uses her technique which is why she isn’t shown using it because it should be used for dire situations.  i imagine being possessed by a spirit or god must consume a lot of cursed energy.  it makes sense that utahime and gakuganji wear traditional clothing.  they’re the staff of jujutsu high’s kyoto branch.  in chapter 0, kyoto is known as the sacred land of jujutsu.  it’s more traditional compared to tokyo.  if you want to learn more about miko, you should check out the wikipedia page!  

chapter 34

i swear he tries to annoy her every chance he gets.  i bet he sets a goal for himself to see how many times utahime lectures him about respecting his seniors every time he’s within the same vicinity as her.  at least he called her utahime-sensei!!!

chapter 40

this isn’t even a gojohime moment tbh...i just wanted to share a pic of them sitting next to each other HEHE.  why are they sitting next to each other anyway?  it’s not like they have assigned seating.

----

that was so long and i apologize for the gargantuan paragraphs you guys had to read through.  i’m writing this at 4 in the morning and i’m feeling borderline delirious so i apologize if there are any errors.  i’ll edit this when i have time <3

the next part should come shortly.

[kimnjss]

unconscious confession | jhs

⤑  series: heartbreaker

⤑ pairing: stoner!hoseok x cheerleader!reader

⤑ genre: fluff !! 

⤑ rating: pg13

⤑ word count: 3.4 // unedited

⤑ warnings: use of recreational drugs..!!

⤑ A/N: hiiii! thanks to everyone who has been reading along so far and giving me feedback with each and every update !! i really appreciate it honestly it’s a really big motivator for me. sooo i hope you like this part as well, don’t forget to let me know what you think . and also it’s this hoseok walking around lmao .

OCTOBER 3RD, 2020 | 19:26

Hoseok showed up to the game while the players were still practicing and you and the rest of the squad were in the middle of stretches. He looks effortlessly handsome from the quick glimpse you get before he's slumping down onto the metal. Focus on tucking each crumble of weed into the paper, but he'd occasionally steal glances at you on the field.

And your eyes meet each and every time. He played into the casual feel he wanted to set for tonight, an oversized pale yellow shirt underneath his light denim jacket. The pants he wears matches the jean of his jacket but are covered in rips, hair being held back by a headband. You've never noticed it before, but staring at him from the field when you really should be stretching had you realizing how well he carried himself. All of the time.

Thankfully, you're able to keep focus while you're actually cheering. Ignoring the fuzzy feeling that rises in your chest at the sight of him cheering for you (it's not for the players on the field who are losing, badly). He even waves cutely at you as you're being thrown in the air and you consider ruining your form to wave back. But decide against it, Jimin would throw a fit.

His attention is on you from kickoff through overtime, taking the steps two at a time as the players line up to congratulate the winning team. “Ooh. Here comes your biggest fan,” Jimin points out from beside you, slightly breathless from the back-to-back routines.

You're gulping down mouthfuls of water, so you actually don't see when Hoseok makes his way over to you. Not until Jimin's words are registering and your head is whipping around to catch the wide smile on his pretty face. He doesn't hesitate to drop his arm over your shoulders, easily tucking your body into his side.

Instantly, you're engulfed in the familiar scent of him. The subtle stench of weed masked by his sweet cologne. You've never been around a guy who smelt as sweet as Hoseok always did, used to the overpowering stink of AXE body spray, but you're convinced he's never purchased a bottle. 

He's offering a quick nod of acknowledgment to Jimin, which is met with a halfhearted wave as he leans down to tie his laces. “You were pretty cool cheering,” He tries to be nonchalant with his compliment, eyes focused on the sky as he talks. Which is pointless, you already caught the way he had been cheering from the crowd.

“'Pretty cool', that's it?” There's a playful smirk on your lips that he finds way more inciting than he should. But, he's determined to keep his cool in front of you so all he does is lift his shoulders in a slight shrug. “Yeah, pretty cool.” He repeats in the same tone as before.

You don't even bother to mask the snicker that sneaks past your lips. “I put my leg behind my head it was just 'pretty cool'? Maybe you need an up-close demonstration?” It's the one that you use that catches him off guard, highlighting the meaning behind your suggestion.

He stumbles slightly, eyes widening slightly. That was obviously something he's thought about before... respectfully. This wasn't the first time he's seen what your body could do and it never failed to get his mind wandering. Of course, he's thought if he had the chance to sleep with you, would you pull out the same tricks you do on the field. Who wouldn't wonder that with someone they were pursuing? 

But, the fact that you were mentioning it. Hinting at it like you were planning for exactly that to happen, that was a whole different ballpark. And it's obvious from the slightly dazed look in his eye, that you can't help but laugh at. Pulling him from his thoughts with the sound of your laugh.

“You're funny,” You say through your laughter, which he's quickly catching on to – soft chuckles leaving his lips.

He leads you all the way to the locker rooms, where he waits outside for you to change out of your uniform and into the sweater and jeans you had picked out for your date. Compliment at the edge of his tongue the moment you're stepping out, arm dropping back down around your shoulder.

While the two of you walk to his car, he fills you in on the hilarious thing Jeongguk did that morning. And you laugh along with him. Like an actual laugh, not one of those forced ones to boost his ego. He's animated as he speaks, gesturing wide and goofy voices tagged as his friend's voices.

You're a few steps from his car when he's rushing ahead of you, pulling the car door open before dramatically gesturing to it. “M'lady,” He says as you pass him and you know he's just kidding, but your heart skips a beat.

There's got to be something wrong with you, you're sure of it. You've been on tons of dates in the past and here you were all warm and fuzzy inside and the date has barely started. It was comforting being around Hoseok, though. As if you've always known him, you hardly had to do any thinking when you texted and it was no different in person.

You can't help but wonder if it felt like that for him too. A connection like that can't just go unnoticed, right? Or maybe you were getting ahead of yourself. “Will you tell me now where we're going?” You're asking as he's settling into the space beside you, tugging his seatbelt around his waist.

“I won't tell you until we're there.” You had spent the entire night before trying to guess where he was taking you, which was no use. The shrug emoji was a favorite of his you were quickly realizing. “It's really cool, though. You're gonna like it,” He says with a grin.

If that was supposed to ease your curious mind, it does the exact opposite. A place he was sure you were going to like? How would he know? Talked for seven days straight, but that's only one week. Do you really know what someone likes after one week?

Hoseok's quiet the entire car ride, a small smile playing on his lips as he drives. You're too busy striking out possible date locations to make any conversation, so the soft sound of his music is the only noise that fills the car. He's humming along to the beat, fingers tapping against the steering wheel, hair being swept by the wind. He's something out of a movie, it's hard to really focus on anything else.

Ten whole minutes pass of you shamelessly admiring his profile before he's shoving the car into park. “We're here,” Arms stretched out in front of him and your eyes squint, figuring you're missing something. “Where's here?” You're asking when you can't find the answer for yourself.

Hoseok lets out a small laugh, hand reaching to unbuckle his seatbelt. “You gotta get out to see it,” He's at your door seconds later, pulling it open and offering his hand out to you. Which you take, allowing him to pull you from the warmth and into the night wind. With his fingers laced with yours, he leads you away from the car.

You were standing on a cliff and the closer you get to the edge, the prettier it gets. Lights from the city below twinkling, but it looks so quiet. “You can see everything up here,” His fingers are still laced with yours, forgotten between you. “Right. I like to come here sometimes and just look,” Even with the endless conversation the two of you shared throughout the week, there were still quite a few things you didn't know about him.

Like the fact that he had a spot or the reason, he felt like he needed one in the first place. “How come you wanted to have our date here?” Aren't spots supposed to be private? Wouldn't showing you where he goes to 'just look', take away from that?

All at once, he's becoming all too aware with the warmth of your hand in his. The small tingle he feels throughout his palm that he had done a good job at ignoring up until now. It's the reason he's wiggling his fingers from your grasp and shoving his hand into the front pocket of his jeans.

He's plopping down on the rock with a thud, shoulders shrugging. “I don't know. Sometimes when we talk, I feel like bringing you here. So I did.” He's trying to be cool and you're not too sure why. There's a code in his words that isn't at all hard to read. He wanted to bring you here, let you in on a piece of him and no matter how nonchalant he tried to act about it, that's what it was.

So you're lowering yourself to sit beside him. From his pocket, he's pulling out a pre-rolled blunt and tucking it between his lips. He's quick with lighting it, taking his time with inhaling. “I don't really go on dates like that, you know. I mean, I do... but I don't. When I take girls out, it's like a gratuity, you know? But, I like talking to you and I wanted to show you something cool too. So I brought you here,”

His free hand rests on the ground behind you, inadvertently pulling your body closer to his. “Do you like it?” There's a bit of hopefulness in his voice that's hard to miss.

You're smiling brightly up at him, nodding your head to rid him of any confusion. “I like it. It's really pretty. Thank you for showing it to me,” Just your smile was enough to have the flutter starting up in his chest, but the way you talked to him? He'd turn into a blubbering fool if he wasn't careful.

He extends his hand, wordlessly offering the smoke out to you. And you're assuming that he just wants you to hold it for a second, so you pluck it from his fingers. And wait. He's snorting out a laugh at the patient look on your face. “You gonna hit it or...?”

“Oh! Uhm... no?” He's quick with pulling it from your fingers at the rejection, no desire to waste anything. “Why not? Are you like a good girl or something?” He teases, words coming through a cloud of smoke.

You're letting out a scoff, eyes rolling at his words. “No. I'm an athlete. My body is my most important instrument. Which includes my lungs,” He's bursting out laughing at the snootiness hidden in your tone. A loud laugh contagious laugh that could probably be heard throughout the entire city.

“Well, excuse me,” He speaks through your dying laughter.

With his arm resting behind you, you're naturally leaning into his side. The calm of the night and having him so close has a warm feeling settling in your chest, so much so that it's hard to contain the smile that has spread onto your features. Sitting in comfortable silence and watching the city below and it doesn't feel weird.

Content with just being around him and that's something you've never felt before. Whether or not he was feeling it too was lost on you, his focus on moving the blunt to and from his lips, a cloud of smoke forming above your heads.

“You see that greenish building?” You're pointing a little ways ahead of you. He has to lean forward and squint to see what you're referring to but nods once he spots it. “That's my middle school,” Punctuating your words with a grin up at him.

His fingers move to flick his scraps into the window, his body moving closer to you now that his focus wasn't split. “What was Middle School Yn like?” His free hand fidgets with the pebbles on the other side of his body, the other resting over your shoulder.

“Middle School Yn?” You repeat with a laugh, head tilting to the side as you're brought back to what you were like in middle school. Nothing like how you've turned out. “She was... different?” You're laughing again, planning on leaving it at that.

But, he's got this expectant look on his face, waiting for you to go on. So you do. “I kept to myself mostly, didn't have many friends. Not nearly as confident as I am now. I read a lot and did my homework. That's it,” He doesn't seem shocked or even surprised by the fact that you weren't always this popular magazine cut-out creation of yourself.

He doesn't even bat an eye, simply nodding at your words. “So you were a little nerdy?” His words don't come out in the rude unconvinced way that you've heard before when showing your past yearbooks. It's more like he's trying to get an image of what you looked like back than despite anything else.

“You could say that,” He's nodding, brushing the dirt from his hands. “Cute. Middle School me would've had the biggest crush on you.” Hoseok speaks as if it's just another fact like his words don't have a flutter shooting through your chest.

And with how sure he was that you two would've hit it off in middle school, you can't help but become curious. “What were you like back then?” You try to picture what a younger version of him would look like. How he'd act. Probably still cool, unbothered by most things that would usually send kids into a rage.

Your imagination doesn't get too far before he's answering. “I was a bit of a hothead... always wanted to fight someone. I was sensitive and emotional, so I argued a lot with whoever. I had a ton of friends, though. But looking, they were probably just afraid of not being my friend.” He laughs so you offer up a small giggle.

Your hand had been mindlessly resting on his thigh before, fingers tracing patterns into the fabric of his jeans as he speaks. “So why do you think you'd have a crush on me?” From the way he described himself, it seemed like you two wouldn't even sit by each other – let alone be close enough that he'd develop a crush.

He's shrugging at your words, an action that you've quickly realized is his favorite. A way to give off nonchalance, but looking close enough it's not hard to detect the light blush that dusts over his cheeks. “You said you were quiet. I think I would've liked being around you. Listening to you talk... like now,” His arm drops from your shoulders to wrap around your waist, using his grip to pull you closer to him.

“Think if I met you then or now, I'd still be into the way you smile... or the pretty way you roll your eyes when you're trying to act annoyed. And yeah, just you.” His hand reaches for yours in his lap, loosely twisting your fingers with his. “Any version of me would like you,” It's so soft, you're not sure if that last part was meant for you to hear.

His eyes are focused out in front of you, not even slightly looking like someone that just confessed. So you ignore it, summing it up as a slip of the tongue. You don't comment, but that doesn't stop the butterflies from taking over your stomach.

All at once, you're being met with the undeniable urge to kiss him. Just to see what it feels like. Throw out the self-proclaimed challenge you set for yourself because Arya was probably wrong. You've spent the entire night with the guy, he cheered you on from the crowd, brought you to his spot, and now this... unconscious confession. The fact that he liked you was on his mind so much that he was saying it without even realizing it.

You found it extremely hard to think someone like that would have the wrap sheet he was given. Or, maybe he did in the past... but with you it was different. Why else would he take you here, invite you into his space and talk to you the way that he has if it wasn't anything different? Right?

Right.

So before you can talk yourself out of it, you're tilting your head to the side to face him. “It's pretty here, huh?” Voice much softer now, you've taken control of the fiddling of fingers. Twisting yours around him and occasionally brushing your nails against his skin. It's subtle enough to be taken lightly but just enough to leave his skin tingling.

He's quick to pick up on your change of demeanor, brows raising in slight surprise, but he doesn't say anything. In fact, he's following your lead, leaning his body in closer to yours. “Mhm. Quiet too, nobody really comes over here,” His fingers tug at the belt loops in your jeans, tongue pushing out to wet his lips.

“That's good,” Your breath brushes against his lips as you speak, eyes dropping to his lips. He doesn't say anything else, gently pulling his fingers from your grasp just so he can spread his palm on the side of your neck. And then his lips are crashing down onto yours, hand holding your head in place.

Hoseok kisses you slowly at first, mouth molding with yours. But it's not long before he's brushing his tongue over your lips, testing the waters before he's plunging in. Fingers pressed into his jeans, you try to keep your head from spinning as his tongue pushes against yours. He tastes earthy... but a little sweet. It's intoxicating.

With two hands planted firmly on your hips, he's easily lifting you onto his lap. The movement so fast it's forcing you to break the kiss, a squealed laugh breaking the kiss. Which he meets with a wide grin, reaching to push your hair from your face. Slowly, he drags the tips of his fingers over your jawline, until he's holding your chin between his thumb and index finger.

“I really like your lips,” He says through a groan, leaning in to cover your mouth with his once more. Hands dropping to cover the curve of your ass, pushing your body further up on his lap so your hips collide. You can feel his half-hard cock pressed against your thigh and it takes everything in you not to grind your hips forward.

The feeling of his cool hands slipping underneath your sweater has a shiver running down your spine. Body reacting to the way his fingers climb up your skin, grazing over the underwire of your bra. His teeth tug at your lower lip and you feel the twitch of his cock hardening as his hands slide underneath.

Your slow with pulling back, not fully wanting to pull away – but knowing if you didn't stop now you wouldn't be able to convince yourself later on. It's cute, though, the way his lips chase yours as you put distance between the two of you. When he's not tasting the peach of your lip gloss, his eyes flutter open.

Two large hands resting over your breasts, cheeks matching the color of his eyes. “You don't want to?” He looks genuinely confused, like someone not wanting to sleep with him right away was some foreign concept. Still, he's pulling his hands from the inside of your shirt, resting them behind him.

“Not yet,” He nods, glossy lips spreading into a smile. “Okay,” He leans up to press a reassuring kiss to your nose before he's sliding you off of his lap. And then, without missing a beat he's saying. “I bet I can name more constellations than you,” Completely wiping away any possibility of an awkward moment rising.

Challenging you with a smirk on his face and the comfortable atmosphere you had been in before is quickly returning. “Yeah, okay.” He's stretched out on the ground so he can look at the sky properly and you're quick to lower yourself beside him.

And just like that, you're pointing out clusters of stars, laughing at the ridiculous names that you come up with. Your head pressed to his shoulder and his arm wrapped around you. You don't even notice as the hours tick by.

— you’re just his type. so it’s no surprise when all of his time and effort goes into making you his. though, they’ve always said… you only want it because you can’t have it.

⤪ masterlist ⤨

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A/N: timestamps make sense throughout the fic. if u want to be added to the tag list, send me an ask! + if you’ve asked to be on my permanent taglist, you do not need to ask to be added to this one !!