#and like way too anxious w all of the mods (some way less than others tbf) to bring up the point of

[nimeve]

.

[whitherliliesbloom]

Illya of the Twilight Sakura - Shijin au

Headcanons for this new au under the cut ;w;

Set in a feudal japanese esque period, Doma was split into four very different feuding clans, one representing each of the cardinal directions and elements. Each clan owned a set amount of their own territories, had their owl ideals and beliefs and lived in relative peace with one another.

However, every seven years, a bloody war would break out among the four clans over no man’s land - a plot of land that laid right in the center of the four clans. The clan that emerged victorious would win ownership of that land, and also full control over who they could appoint into the government. 

This au doesn’t just pertain to samurai! Each clan has their own set of specialties. Samurai, shinobi, archers, medics etc are all present in this au. 

The four clans:

West: The strongest and largest of the four clans, and also the one that is favored the most by the curre . They are known for their sheer numbers and preference for using brute force and pure strength to win battles. Conscription into their elite forces is mandatory for a select number of capable fighters, and their method of training is known to be strict and harsh. They have been in possession of no man’s land for the past three feuds, and wish to continue to do so in order to keep their position of power and expand on their building project catered towards the noble and rich. 

South: The second largest clan. What they lacked in brute force and durable fighters, they more then made up for in their wit and intellect. They specialize in strategy, superior war tactics and their incredible resourcefulness. They also regularly engage in negotiations with the other clans when necessary, and aren’t above forming temporary alliances. The southern clan wishes to attain no man’s land in order to build schools and facilities for the purpose of education and research. 

North: A clan that specializes in stealth, foul play and manipulation. They may not be quite as aggressive or brutish as those who come from the west, but they are just as much of a threat and danger - if not more so. It’s often hard to tell what the Northern clan is up to, as they prefer solving their problems with roundabout solutions that more often than not can result in collateral. Rumor has it that they don’t even have a set plan for no man’s land if they do win it, they’re simply engaged in the feud for the conflict and potential power over the west.

East: The smallest of the four clans, and also often considered the weakest, as they are the newest to be formed and have only just begun building up an elite force strong enough to be considered a threat to the others in recent years. They often accept refugees not just from foreign lands, but also people from the other clans who have been banished for whatever reason. This clan places great importance on fidelity and being morally upstanding. As such, they have no forms of conscription. Their elite force is simply made of volunteers who truly wished to fight for what they believe to be right. Should they obtain no man’s land, they plan on building hospitals and residences for the most impoverished of the people.  

ILLYA’S HEADCANONS:

Illya is the daughter of Lachlan, a former member of the West clan who fled and married Cocona, a farmer’s daughter who lived on the dangerous outskirts of the Northern clan. Together with a few others, Lachlan went on to be one of the founders of the newly formed Eastern clan. As their forces were still incredibly small and weak, they were trampled upon the other three clans (especially by the west) for the first five wars they’d participated in.

Now aged and growing too weak to be an asset in battle, he hands the mantle over to his only daughter, an 18 year old girl who has trained as a samurai since a tender age for the purpose of fighting in this very battle. 

Illya’s title is “Sakura of Twilight” or “Illya of the Twilight Sakura”, named after the way her katana would glow in the night and the way she could summon sakura petals as she fights. 

In this au, her normally high pitched and soft voice is a lot deeper with a mature tone. She also speaks with far more confidence. I’ll probably make a video just dedicated to her voice another time.

In general, Illya is a little less jittery and anxious than she is in canon, and holds herself with an air of elegance and maturity.

This however, is only a pretense, due to her upbringing and training as a samurai and eventually to be one of the leaders of the Eastern clan. At heart, she is still socially awkward and nervous around strangers. If you fluster her, her normal, high pitched speaking voice will slip out. 

She almost always wears a mask, due to the way people often pointed out how soft and gentle her face looked as she grew up, so much that nobody would ever take her seriously as a samurai. In the above images, she’s wearing a fox mask but only because there aren’t any mods for what I envisioned. In the actual au, Illya wears a black mask with an oni face in order to appear more threatening in battle. 

Illya has a drastic class change from her canon to this au. While she’s still capable of some basic first aid, she’s far from a dedicated chirurgeon or the little goddess of healing she is in canon in this au. 

Her dream was to be a physician, however her sense of obligation to become a samurai much like her father and to fight has pulled her away from that dream. 

Other headcanons:

As your designated clan is usually decided by birth / your parent’s clan, it’s not uncommon to have deserters or traitors from each and every clan. Lachlan for example left the Western clan due to his disagreeing with their fundamental goals.. while many people from the other clans would often leave and join the Western clan due to their power and wealth. There are also many people who would feel forced to remain in their clan, but are fighting unwillingly. Some others end up being spies, or even not siding with any clan at all secretly.

Alphinaud is a member of the South clan, acting as one of the youngest members of their elite force as both a strategist and negotiator. He wishes to form an alliance with the Eastern clan, but the higher ups within his clan sees no benefit in siding with the smallest of the four clans.

Laurelis ( @ancientechos ) is a member of the Eastern clan, acting as a guard and healer when needed.  She often takes in animals and refugees that come running in their territory, convincing them to join with her persuasive and optimistic demeanor. She truly believes everyone should have a home and thinks that their clan may as well be it for those who have no where else to go. And if in the end they decide to go out on their own anyway, she’ll still help them regardless. Any other headcanons will be posted by Jam in the future.

There’s rumors of there being a civil disagreement within the Nothern clan. Despite being known for their scheming and manipulative ways, there are a select few in the Northern clan with genuinely kind intentions. The reputation of the North makes it hard to tell who is being sincere or who is simply pretending to be sincere, however. One such example is Thancred.

There are no dedicated mages or sorcerers for battle in this au, but there is a small amount of magic, or at least supernatural abilities involved sometimes with fights. Like summoning bursts of flames from an arrow / cloning skills used by shinobi / summoning a dragon temporarily genji style etc. Oracles, fortune tellers and the like may exist. Up for interpretation =)

[rant-2-me]

i feel like im getting notthing done these days, like my life just going to complete waste. i should be doing something with my life by now i think, like im studying enough and im not rlly been feeling happy lately either cause i feel so much stress. i have exams in like 3 weeks and i dont know what to do for that either.

oh my sweet nonnie, listen,

There’s no set time frame for doing anything.

you can do things in your own time without having to worry about being “behind.” Sometimes it’s the things we do that feel like “stalling” or “getting off track” that end up being the most helpful for our growth.

theres a lot of sugarcoating advice on the internet that might say you're not wasting your life, and don’t get me wrong, that’s true — but it doesn’t help your situation at all.

You don't need to be "doing anything" with your life right now, maybe right now you just need to

Success is not measured by the rate in which we accomplish something, but in the fact that we have accomplished something

What you need is action.

you need to do something that makes you happy and is easy(ish) to do.

The best way to find direction is to trust your instincts instead of forcing yourself to do things because you think you “should.”

Your intuition is a powerful compass, and even if you think you aren’t making progress, if you’re following your instincts, you are.

There are always going to be opportunities that look good on paper, and that little, scared voice within may tell you that your life will only matter if you take them.

Other people may also tell you this, if not directly, indirectly; or you may assume they’re thinking this when really they’re too immersed in their own confusing journey to pass judgment on yours for long.

But sometimes the best opportunities are the ones you don’t take, leaving yourself open for choices that better align with your own values and priorities.

I know this may sound as impossible as growing wings and flying, but try not to worry so much about what other people might think. They may have expectations, but you aren't responsible for the vision of you they've made up in their minds.

The only one who can make wise decisions for you is you. And even if it makes you feel anxious at times, you will eventually thank yourself for being brave enough to follow your heart, not someone else’s head.

When it comes to creating purpose, there truly is no “wrong” decision.

You may think you only have one purpose and that you need to push yourself to find it, you can continue thinking this, if you’re okay with feeling pressured and scared.

Or instead of aiming to discover the one thing you’re supposed to do with your life, you could focus on discovering the one thing you want to try right now,

you can change direction any time. And that changing direction won’t be something to be ashamed of; it won’t mean you failed at discovering your purpose before. It will mean you had one purpose then, and now your purpose has changd—evolved.

It will mean you’re brave enough to let yourself evolve, repeatedly undertaking the sometimes terrifying process of discovering what else you can do.

Maybe that in itself can be a purpose—to live life in that vulnerable, uncertain place where you’re not boxed into one way of being, free to roam when it would feel much safer to tether yourself to one role.

How to get things done

1. before you actually do anything, take a whole day to shamelessly do nothing. its just one (1) day to relax,calm down, do something that makes you happy, let your entire body take a breath before it springs into action, an arrow draws back before it hits it target

2. when you wake up the next morning, dont reach for your phone. dont scroll social media or check the news. in fact, before you start your day, (if its possible) switch off your phone or put it on do not disturb put it somewhere your mind wont wander towards. give it to a friend and tell them not to give it back until u sit down and finish your work.

3. start by finishing tasks you figure will take less than 2 minutes.

need to water the plants? it'll take less than 2 minutes; do it. need to feed the fish? takes less than two minutes; do it! get all the easy work out of the way first.

4. check what your most time sensitive tasks are. finish them first.

5. try and figure out whats stopping you from doing something. most of the time it isn't just "laziness" that stopping you from doing something, sometimes its because the perfectionist in you is worried that if you try hard on that you'll fail. but the thing is, you can try again. and again. and again, and again until you get it right. try chipping at it slowly

for example, say you have to take notes for a class, and you have 10 pages to copy down, before you start watching a tv show, just write 2 pages of notes. you can also try the pomodoro method: do work for 25 minutes, then take a 5 minute break. repeat.

but something like studying and having hobby is something that needs to be repeated, over and over again, like a routine

How to add something into your routine:

start easy. the first time you do the hobby, it should be a cake walk

e.g:

exercise every day first day: 5 push ups.

1000 words every day first day: 10 words and so on.

try to do the activity after or before or even during a hobby you already do e.g.:

read 20 books in a year and you already: drink tea every day so you should: read 5 pages as you drink tea

you want to learn a language and you already: plait your hair before you sleep so you should: watch a video teaching you about that language before you plait your hair

mountains are easier to climb with a friend, so you can get someone to do it with you!

How to study

Get a good night’s sleep: A recent study found a positive relationship between students’ grades and how much sleep they’re getting. However, this doesn’t only mean getting a full 8 hours of sleep before a big test. What matters, even more, is getting enough sleep for several nights before you do the bulk of your studying.

Switch up your study environment: Studies show that switching up your study environment can increase recall performance. Instead of studying at home every day, try checking out a new coffee spot each week or heading to your local library. A change in scenery can improve both your memory and concentration levels.

Stick with an environment that works: If you have a good space at home or a café that is reliably a productive place for you, it makes sense to stick with this when you are under pressure.

Listen to calming music: You can listen to any music you like, but many agree that classical, instrumental, and lo-fi beats make good background music for studying and can actually help you pay attention to the task at hand. Songs with lyrics can be distracting.

Eliminate distractions: Eliminate distractions by silencing your phone and any annoying background noises such as the TV or radio. Make a pact with yourself to avoid checking social media until your study session is over.

Snack on smart food: Coffee and candy will give you a temporary boost, but then you’ll have a damn sugar crash. For energy that is more focused and sustainable, try healthy snacks such as edamame, apples, or nuts.

and most importantly!

grades and test scores =/= your value as a human being

aight nonnie, that is all, *mwah* i believe in you, i believe that your strong and wonderful and you can handle this, *hugs you (if youre ok w it)* please take care of yourself

dont forget to drink water, get some sleep, eat some food, and please take care of yourself!! have a nice day,

mod peppermint out B)

[totaldramafan-lauri]

So.....I wasn’t originally gonna share this, but eh.......

On top of Eurovision, I’ve also been really into Friday Night Funkin’ recently thanks to a friend of mine introducing me to it.....and its plethora of popular mods. In particular, there was one mod that caught my attention....a-and....well.....h-hasn’t let it go yet......Mainly there’s this one really cool character that’s been on my mind a lot, so.....

S-so, I uh.....made an OC. A-and....I wrote a profile for her yesterday....

I-I guess I’ll share this, cuz I feel like there.....might be a possibility that I’ll do something with her in the future? Cuz I do have some story ideas.....I-it’s just a matter of finding the confidence to get back into writing.....I-I dunno if it’ll happen, but it might.

I-it’s kinda....embarrassing, tho....I-it’s been a while since I’ve made an OC purely to be a....well, simp, but here we are.....>//////>

(Also, the picture below is NOT drawn by me. I’m not an artist. It was drawn by the same friend.)

Name: Lina (she doesn't remember her last name...or her original first name for that matter) Height: 5'2" Quotes: "I-I'm sorry!" "Ms. Sarvente would know what to do...." "I hope I don't forget what happened today..." "D-don't look, please..." "W-were you listening? O-oh gosh- uh-" Age: In the 20s range Eye Color: White (in another art style, her eyes would be purple) Hair: Black, waist-length, pretty thick, and usually pretty messy due to her not having the energy to brush it all (she usually makes some kind of effort before going to the church, but it's not a lot) Build(Body Type/Shape/Any Scars Or Markings): Pretty thin. Not stick thin, though, as she does have curves and a pretty decent chest size (that she hides under her sweatshirt most of the time), but she's still pretty thin. She doesn't eat as much as she should. Normal Outfit(The clothes they most commonly wear): A baggy baby blue sweatshirt with a simple sleeveless pink dress underneath, and a matching pink scarf. Knee-high white socks and baby blue slip-on shoes. When it's really warm out, or when she's lounging at home, she'll take off the sweatshirt and scarf and just wear her dress, but most of the time she likes being covered. It makes her feel safe. General Personality: Lina is a very timid, shy woman who is scared of opening up and spilling her feelings out to people, not wanting to be a burden. She has really bad social anxiety, but attempts to be kind and polite to people, even with her lack of experience in social situations. She's always carrying a notebook with her, writing in it frequently. Most of the time, she's very quiet, but when she gets riled up or excited about something, she can talk more than you think. However, she has a tendency to stutter and stumble over her words a lot, especially when anxious or flustered. Her anxiety is bad enough that she hates asking people for things and is scared to draw too much attention to herself (due to awkward experiences with her roommate). She looks up to Sarvente and wishes she could be like her, and loves helping her whenever she can, liking the feeling of being useful (and, although she'll never admit it, to catch glimpses of Ruv). In her writing, she shows a more poetic, hopeless romantic side to her that she's too embarrassed to share, spilling it out into the lyrics she writes. She also uses her writing to vent the feelings she's too terrified to share with the world - her infatuation with Ruv, her feelings of jealousy towards Sarvente, her want and desire to become someone she can never be. She hates her feelings, and she's scared of her feelings.... Other random facts: -Lina is so bothered by her unknown past that she's absolutely terrified of forgetting things. This is the reason why she kept carrying around notebooks. She's been doing this for so long that if she's ever separated from her current notebook, she'll have an anxiety attack. -She's currently unemployed, but is able to continue living with her roommate as long as she takes care of the house. She's flat broke most of the time, only being leant money for her writing, so she doesn't have a phone. She only eats when her roommate does, but on the rare occasion she has extra money, she'll treat herself. -Like all FNF characters, Lina is musically talented - she writes songs (although she hasn't shared them), and she can sing decently well. She's scared of singing in front of others, but does it to herself all the time. However, she has very little experience with RAPPING specifically, making her a pretty easy opponent. -Her favorite colors are pastels, especially blues and pinks. -Besides going to the church on Sunday, she doesn't have much of a schedule, mainly just being alone in the house on most days. -She has a MAJOR weakness for cats. If she sees a cat, she'll immediately go to watch or pet it. Cats are the easiest way to make her smile. -She's normally pretty clumsy, and not physically strong at ALL. She can handle housework just fine, but not heavy lifting. She also can't cook at ALL. Please help her, the woman's a mess -Despite attending church, she's mostly agnostic. She mainly goes just to hang in the back of a side isle and watch Sarvente and Ruv. -Lina doesn't know that Sarvente is a demon, seeing her as a normal nun like the rest of the public. She's also unaware that Ruv is a criminal. -While she's talked with Sarv, she's never spoken directly to Ruv, being too nervous to. He's looked at her a few times, and that's been enough to send her into a frenzy. Likes: Music, writing, feeling useful, inspiration, being at the church, seeing Ruv, when people are nice to her, cats, pastel colors, sunny days, the rare times she's proud of something she wrote, pizza (she associates it with her roommate being nice to her, so it's her favorite food) Dislikes: Forgetting things, being put on the spot, loud noises (like thunder), large crowds, asking for things, being seen crying, when people ask to see her writing, whenever she feels jealous of Sarvente, embarrassing herself in front of Ruv, her body Powers/Skills: No powers. She's a normal human. Skills, however....she can write poetry and music, she can sing, and she's a pretty smart thinker when she's not stressed. Weapons: None Backstory: Lina was found at the site of a horrible accident by the person who would become her roommate, who felt sorry for her and took her in. She had no memory of her life before the accident, being left a scared woman with no past...a blank slate.

At first, she was a wreck, understandably. She tried desperately to remember her past, but nothing worked. Even as she settled into her new life, the fact that she couldn't remember who she was ate away at her day in and day out. Feeling sorry for her, her roommate gave her a notebook to make notes in. Lina found that that helped a lot, and discovered how much she loved writing.

Over time, her roommate started becoming apathetic toward the little "freeloader", and a deal was made so that she could continue living with them until she could somehow get a job: she was to clean and watch the tiny house while they were away at work. She didn't mind this deal since it made her feel less guilty. During her free time, Lina also discovered her love of music, and began singing to herself while alone.

She eventually accepted the fact that she may never remember her past, but at least she can try her hardest to make sure she never forgets again. She began carrying a notebook with her wherever she went, and continues to store all her old notebooks in her room. She never throws any page away.

She records everything: her thoughts, her plans, everything noteworthy that happens to her, and every lyric she thinks of. She finds it relaxing to spill her heart onto the pages, so no one will ever hear her say them....this is especially true after she meets THEM. After meeting Sarvente one day, Lina is invited to join a church. She's unsure at first, but decides to go. And that's where it all began....she met Ruv (well...more like she saw him talking to Sarv), and immediately took to him. Tall, stoic, intimidating...and yet, Lina could see a softness in him whenever he was with Sarvente. She wished she could meet someone like that....someone strong, who could protect her and keep her safe...

And over time, she realized that she couldn't get him off her mind. As if...she was fixated on him. She found herself writing about him a lot. And then she realized that she was very rapidly developing a crush on the man. Being unable to remember what a crush feels like, it was a lot to adjust to at once, but she found herself really liking the feeling....that is, until she realized that she could never hope to achieve the same closeness to him that Sarvente has. She wished she was like Sarvente....

...She realized that she had become jealous of someone who had only ever been kind to her. And she hated it. So, Lina hid her feelings away once again.

Currently, Lina visits the church every week. She's always the first to arrive, and the last to leave. Even when people come and go, she always sits in the back of one of the side isles, writing away in her notebook. She simply likes the feeling of being in the church. The safe atmosphere, Sarvente's kindness, and the possibility of seeing HIM. Sarvente has noticed how long Lina stays for, and sometimes asks her for volunteer work, which she's happy to provide. However, although Sarvente is happy to have a regular visitor, she also doesn't take Lina very seriously, talking to her as if she was a child due to her appearance (if she HAS caught on to Lina's crush on Ruv, she hasn't said anything because of this). "Oh, little Lina, you're so cute!" Lina doesn't mind the headpats and squeals, but has a hard time believing that she's "cute" in any way. Lina looks up to Sarvente, treating her with a lot of respect, calling her "Ms. Sarvente". Sarvente calls Lina "little Lina". Lina likes helping out, but...she also often feels insecure and inadequate due to constantly comparing herself to Sarvente.

One day, after the church closes and Lina is on her way out the door, she runs into someone who Sarvente had a recent tussle with...a guy with blue hair.

(There she is, the tiny pastel nerd.....seriouslyIlovethispiceeeeeeeeebigthankstomyfriendfordesigningheroutfit)

[imagine-the-phantom-thieves]

NSFW A-Z for Haru x male reader please?

Silly Anon!  We keep things neutral here! 

Also I had to look at old writing to figure out how I used to write X-Ray for women, and oh my God I hate my old writing how did people like it, holy shit.

Another Anon had asked for B, F, J and K, and another Anon had asked for I, T and V.

- Mod Maruki

Haru Okumura

A - Aftercare

Haru’s usually pretty sleepy afterward, but she still tries to remain at least a tad coherent. 

There’s gentle, lingering touches on her s/o, and she often smiles at them, simply enjoying the calm atmosphere of the afterglow.

She’s very quiet during this time, leaving any conversation for the morning after.

B - Body Part

There’s a lot she loves about her s/o, but she thinks that’s a given. If she had to pick one thing, it’d probably be their hands.

She just enjoys holding their hands, and compared to hers, they’re almost always softer.

When it comes to her own body, she doesn’t have much of an opinion, if anything, she actually dislikes most of it and is pretty anxious about her figure, thanks to a certain someone.

C - Cum

Doesn’t really have a preference where her s/o cums, but her thighs or stomach are the least of a hassle to clean afterward.

The only place that she really has a gripe about is the sheets. 

There’s almost always a particular way of cleaning them if she doesn’t want them completely ruined, but if the next day’s a busy one she doesn’t have the time to take care of it, and it’s not like she can just leave it.

D - Dirty Secret

Haru didn’t know sadism could have sexual connotations until she was in her early twenties.

She had mentioned how her old friends had called her that on occasion once in a rather joking conversation, and her s/o had just so happened to take it that way.

She had realized how things had sounded just a little too late.

E - Experience

She hadn’t really thought about sex before she finally settled down with her s/o.

I mean, she thought about it, but really didn’t want to participate until she found the right person. 

It’s a new experience, but certainly not unwelcome.

F - Favourite Position

Likes standard missionary and gift-wrapped. 

She just likes things simple and sweet.

G - Goofy

Rarely. 

She’ll feed into a silly mood if her s/o starts it, but usually she doesn’t.

H - Hair

Trimmed, at the very least. 

Though on occasion she slips up and it can get rather noticeably unkempt. 

I - Intimacy 

Absolutely. 

Sex is the most intimate time she can think of, of course she treats it as such.

She actually has a mild distaste for sudden bursts of lust. 

It just makes it seem less important, and to a degree reminds her of...

Well, y’know.

J - Jack Off

Again, rarely.

She doesn’t really have the time for it to begin with.

But even if she has the time, why not just ask her s/o, as embarrassing as it could get?

K - Kink

Genuinely, doesn’t actually have any.

Haru’s pretty much as vanilla as someone can get.

Even mentioning the idea that she has a sadism streak flusters her more than anything else.

L - Location

Nowhere but the home. 

Doing something like that in public is basically asking for a buisness suicide.

Even in the home, there either can’t be any windows or the curtains must be hanging. 

M - Motivation

Oddly enough, the thing that can get her most is just small things like neck massages. 

Just picturing her looming over any troublesome paperwork for Okumura Foods when her s/o comes in and starts putting pressure around her neck, trying to help loosen up the knots present

And they just travel lower and lower down her back until…

It kinda gets her hot and bothered just thinking about it.

N - NO

Hitting is the biggest no-no for her. Most things involving a lot of force are, actually.

Pretty much anything that waters down sex as just an intimate experience, more so turning it into a game of climax.

So, things like edging and overstimulation are also off the table.

O - Oral

She’s pretty susceptible to oral, actually.

Just the right way to lick and suck at her makes her weak in the knees.

That being said, she’s pretty good at giving, too. 

Once she finally figured out the right rhythms for her s/o, she was good to go.

P - Pace

If she’s ever in control, she tries to keep a managed pace. 

Not slow enough that her s/o would be begging for her to go faster, but she isn’t fast or sloppy, really.

It’s just the perfect speed to enjoy the moment.

Q - Quickie

She has a mixed opinion of them.

On one hand, they help to fit things in her occasionally unforgiving schedule.

On the other, things just don’t feel as romantic as she’d like because of the rush required.

So, she’s okay with them, she just prefers not doing them if it can be helped.

R - Risk

Pretty risk averse overall. 

It’s a mix of her not liking it personally and avoiding any possible scandals for the sake of Okumura Foods’ future.

As for experimenting though?

She’s actually pretty okay with experimenting, because there’s the chance her and her s/o will find something they both like enough to make regular.

S - Stamina

On a typical day, she can only last a round. 

Of course, if she has a day off and she’s less worn down than she would be on a regular night, she can maybe last another.

It takes her an average amount of time to release, so, she’s not beyond sensitive but if given proper attention she should be able to release before nights end. 

T - Toy

Haru doesn’t own anything really jaw-dropping. 

Her ‘collection’ is really just her s/o’s, she just buys them for them if they happen to be strapped for cash.

Though that doesn’t stop her from contemplating experimentation with their purchases of choice.

U - Unfair

Teasing her usually draws out some louder noises from her, but she doesn’t feel particularly strong about it either way.

If her s/o asks her to tease them, she’ll comply, but it isn’t like, a staple for her.

V - Volume

Gives more quiet mewls, for the most part.

Occasionally maybe a more high pitch squeak or two, but overall, her actual volume isn’t very loud.

W - Wild Card

Out of all the Thieves, she was probably the most nervous when it came to her first time.

Was she with the right person? Was this the right time for her? Was she actually ready for it or was she just jumping into it without thinking enough?

Once it was over and done with, she had almost laughed to herself for getting so worked up over it.

X - X-Ray

Over the course of the average day, she’s never really wet.

Maybe once the work day is over and done with, but that’s really just a little.

Y - Yearning

Never really thinks about when she wants it. 

Usually just goes along with when her s/o would like to, provided she has the energy and it won’t interfere with her schedule. 

Z - Zzz

Haru’s usually pretty spent from work already, so layer-cake sex on top of that and more often than not she’s completely worn out.

She tries to maintain light conversation with her s/o, but she typically passes out before too long.

[kpopsmutfactory]

NSFW Alphabet - Jeon Jungkook. ♡

A - Aftercare

I will take about this more further down, but he's basically very tired after sex. Even though he would want to do something sweet for you like preparing a bath etc, he would just be too sleepy at most times. His aftercare would probably be some cuddles and sweet kisses on the top of your head while he hugged you to his chest.

B - Body part

He likes his thigh the most about himself, and he would like his S/O's hands, because of a lot of reasons actually. He would be able to hold and play with them, but you could also make him feel really good with your hands. He would probably also enjoy placing small kisses onto your knuckles whenever he gets the chance. :')

C - Cum

He seems to like things to be clean and tidy, so cumming on your belly or something wouldn't really be his cup of tea. He'd prefer to cum inside of you, mouth, hole or whatever, as long as surroundings doesn't get messy.

D - Dirty secret

In the beginning, when he's new and haven't had much experience, I feel like there would be a lot of things he would like to try out with you, but he would basically be too shy to mention it. Like, he wouldn't have a specfic dirty secret that he never told you about, instead having smaller ones that he eventually tells you about or you figure them out somehow lol.

E - Experience

Probably not much experience, but would gladly try out a lot of things that his S/O likes! I feel like he would try to learn new things and also like he's kind of interested in learning more about it. Mostly because he wants his S/O to feel good hehe.

F - Favorite position

Jungkook would probably enjoy it when you ride him. He gets a good view of your body, yet he could easily take control and thrust up into you, holding onto your hips and guide you through a perfect pace.

G - Goofy

Once he got more comfortable and less nervous in general, I feel like he would be probably goofy at times. Like not 24/7, but maybe when he's a little sleepy and accidentally says some weird shit and you both just end up laughing. And oh, when he's having sex while being drunk- he would probably giggle a lot too.

H - Hair

He likes things to be plain and clean, so to me he seems like someone to probably trim his hair a little bit. For his S/O, he would just want them to be comfortable but would maybe prefer them to trim, shave and such like that.

I - Intimacy

I feel like he got two mods- either his very sweet and you have the softest vanilla sex with bunch of kisses and giggles haha. Or- he's on the rougher side and fucks you hard from behind, pulling at your hair roughly.

J - Jack off

He's pretty young and when his S/O isn't around and can help him out when he's feeling in the mood- he'd probably jack off. He tries to hold back and not do it, but sometimes he just has to.

K - Kinky

Jungkook would probably be into most things, if his S/O really enjoyed them. He's open to try out new things with his loved one and as long as he knew that his S/O were okay, I think he could be a little kinky sometimes.

L - Location

Jungkook would be all about having sex in the bedroom where he could lock the door and it would only be the two of you. Maybe take it a little further and have it on the couch sometimes or even in the shower, but he likes to make you feel comfy so the bed is his on 1st place. And oh- sex would always happen at your place, he would never dare to try doing something sex-related at the dorm, jfc.

M - Motivation

To me it seems like it's pretty easy make him motivated and turned on. Just sneakily place a hand on his thigh and squeeze, then BAAM. Or kiss his neck out of nowhere! He would for feel frustrated and want more of you, so don't start something that you don't plan to finish. ;)

N - No

Jungkook wouldn't like sex that includes body fluids as vomit, blood etc. I don't see him as someone who likes it when there's saliva everywhere either like, of course it can be hard to avoid but he would prefer if everything was rather clean. I know that some other people have written this too but I don't see him as someone who would enjoy a daddy kink that much either, like if you called him that he would probably be rather turned off and pull out for the night. He also doesn't like to call you things like "whore, bitch, slut".

O - Oral

As mentioned above about saliva- he's not that positive about it. But he'd like to please his S/O with his mouth and have them do the same to him, he just wouldn't want it to be too messy if that makes sense haha.

P - Pace

I feel like Jungkook would get pretty eager once he gets into it, which means that he will be pretty fast. He would probably have a little trouble holding back because of this, and would try to slow down from time to time as he wanted those times with you last longer.

Q - Quicky

As I mentioned above - being a little eager and desperate from time to time, I don't think this would be a problem for him. At least as long as you two are at home and let's say, do a quicky before heading out somewhere. But he would never do it out in public, then it's worth to wait until you're home.

R - Risk

I don't see him as someone taking many risks, like he's way too anxious for that, such a little baby haha....

S - Stamina

Jungkook seems like someone who would have very good stamina and he would be able to go for multiple times as long as he got a tiny break in between.

T - Toy

I think he would be very into using his own body, because he liked the fact that he was making you feel good with it haha. But he would be kind of curious about some toys and probably read a lot of reviews HAHA. If he's S/O is into toys, he would probably be into them as well, wanting to try out new things with you.

U - Unfair

When Jungkook has gotten confident, I do see him as someone who would tease you a little. Not too much though, because it's probably hard for him to hold back when you whine for him to just fuck you. Other than that I don't see him doing anything unfair.

V - Volume

He would be kind of loud at times, as letting out moans and gasp out of pleasure as you're for example giving him a head. Also a lot of HEAVY BREATHING, especially when he's getting close, oh lord. If he hasn’t seen you in a long time and he’s really wound up, he might let out the tiniest whine, but he’d deny it afterwards.

W - Wildcard

Yes, Jungkook is probably a wild card. I feel like he would get pretty jealous at times and when he does- oh boy. Let's say you were outside on a date and some guy flirted with you. Jungkook may have been awkward and quiet about it in the very moment, but once you guys come home he'd be all over you, pinning you to the closest wall and take your breath away by his rough kisses as his hands roamed over your body. ;))

X - X-Ray

I think that Jungkook is a little more on the bigger side, not that he's massive but definitely bigger than average.

Y - Yearning:

Of course he would think about sex at times, but not 24/7 and honestly it wouldn't be time for that because he has a busy fucking schedule haha. But he would indeed make time for you whenever he can and sometimes he would just be longing after you and your touch.

Z - Zzz...

I think he's one of those people who fall asleep rather fast after sex. I think he wants to cuddle you and stuff but he would just be so tired?? Like you would be in the middle of a conversation and then all of a sudden he stopped answering and when you looked at his face you saw that he fell asleep. This is 99% likely to happen if you guys had sex during the evening haha.

_

(Masterlist)

[icharchivist]

kay now i’m just huh bc of that post i reblogged so i’ll just add my two cents on d/a di/scourses and why i want nowhere near in it and feel free to ignore and even more to unfollow if it’s somewhat bad or anything but like,

(also please d/o/n’t re/b/log)

d/a di/scourse ultimately really fucks me up because 1) there’s a lot of it, especially in jokes that strench from far far away, I end up checking every blogs i reblog from bc i don’t want that near me 2) All side tends to have characters they like and dislike and be noisy about it and it’s very hard when down to it you just really love all the characters even when you don’t agree with them bc they’re fictional and i’m interested in the emotional reaction i get from them in game

but on a personal level it also fucks me up bc my mental health had been going bad and stuff are out of my controle, until i discovered D/A and the thing that had really, really helped me recover is that playing D/A asks me to use my skills i’ve learnt mostly to deal with my issues in a way i don’t find disagreeable (most precisely: how to weight what someone is telling you in order to not have it backfire at you) and stimulates my curiosity, passion and creativity in a way i hadn’t felt in forever. It makes me want to connect the dots, it makes me want to be involved, it makes me want to draw, to write again. (I started writting things again after 5 years and it’s so silly how it’s helping me out). Hell I started modding. I did an internship in a video game school on which I was actually pretty good and passionated bc just that had me make more research and understands more easily, so i started handling the logicials quickly for the timespawn and had a lot of cultural and technical knowledge backup just from swooping around trying to learn fun facts (and i would have got into this school easily bc i had a very good file but i lacked the money and my parents fucked it up, so i’m still extremely frustrated at that because I actually had really great chances to be taken in this school) It stimulates me in a way where I can healthily forget for two minutes that my world is crumbling, that for a moment it had me consider different future path, (see again up there), if there’s a path to recovery to be had it started with it.

I’ve known for years this fa/ndom was deemed toxic and I knew of the controversial characters by name before i started the game so i sillily paid more attention to them bc “how bad can they fuck up” only to realize then “oh no i love them” bc i paid attention to them. And i’m in circles where I see more hates than others and sometimes just hear of some hate by hearsay.

I’ve wanted to keep healthy distance as much as possible but once i got in d/a i noticed i already had d/iscourse on my dash from blogs i followed from others things and it was. Huh.

And I was thinking about not letting it get to me, or regularly take breaks, i blocked the d/iscourse tags, then the main tag to avoid it (doesn’t stop some posts to slide through though so that’s not helping), i don’t feel comfortable talking about it, and hey at least i owe to that that i’m less onto this website and i’m grateful at least for that

And it’s unhealthy to be this affected by f/andom stuff, i know that, god do i know that, but i’ve been in fandom for what, 11 years now, I’ve seen some fan wars, i’ve seen and participated in w/anks, but the whole holier-than-thou attitude in really insidious way is damaging, and i can’t recall a time i was this uncomfortable being part of something. (and i was in s/uperw/hol/ock at the fandom’s heigh and in the n/aruto’s fa.ndom when it ended for christ’s sake).

And idk how much is just current fa/ndom bc i know there’s far worse on this damn website, or really this game but this is. very damaging.

Anyway point is that my biggest problem is that i’ve seen some “Hot takes” that had been more damaging for my mental health bc i didn’t even know i could expect them (that’s a fun part of depression no one talks to you about, next i’m gonna tell you again that seeing one more posts about “how siblings are if you don’t see it like that you don’t have a real sibling” and variation sent me in some very bad mental spirals and i’m that close to unfollow anyone that posts those, so hey, that’s fun)

and some of them were 1) “Green!Ha/wke is a manipulator and it is far less sincere than Red or Purple” which really, really fucked me up not because I fancy Green this much but because saying being diplomatical in times stuff are going down is manipulative is super damaging and as someone who is always calculating how to be true to myself while also not triggering a fight around short tempered people, calling it “manipulation” had drove me to major anxiety thinking i was no better than my family, 2) the whole discourse about C/ullen which is the w o rs t bc i get where people come from when they dislike him and they have cause but i see a lot of my reactions to my own trauma and self-destructiong numbing addiction (i mean my self h//arm before anyone think anything) in his storyline in an unflattering way, and it’s something that really drove me to him in a way no other characters did (and i mean it especially bc, in term of experience? I relate to L/eliana more. But in term of reaction on a personal level on oneself? I couldn’t even start without getting uncomfortably personal about how dear C/ullen’s writting is to me. C/ullen’s reaction to trauma is extremely personal on the way also how he takes it on himself and it’s so, so important to me). and this one i kinda expected bc i love others characters that can follow this sort of patern and i know they have tons of w/anks about it but boy it is far less vicious than i’ve seen there (and i know others chara have tons of others d/iscourses but like i said i happen to be following people who will bring this one much more than any others)

Or maybe i’m just far more sensitive than i used to be, but therefore it triggers my fight or flight stuff and since i refuse to involve myself into fight it makes “flight and think about it for hours until it makes you feel terrible for liking it in the first place” so that’s fun.

And I know. I know it’s unhealthy to be this affected on f/andom stuff, and i’m not going to change anyone’s mind, nor do i want to. 

Bc in the end those games requires a lot of personal involvement and therefore our sensitivities to shine through, and i refuse to let my view affect others when the emotional journey is far, far more interesting when you take it with your own heart, even if it means i must fundamentally disagree with all of the experience others may feel,

But ye. I know. And i’m trying to work on that, it’s been a year i’m trying to work on that, and as i said earlier, i’m taking breaks from this website every once in a while lately, which is far more healthy anyway, and i think i’ll carry on doing that.

And I still will not posts d/iscoursy stuff of saying “this interpretation of the character is wrong here how you should interpret it” even if i agree bc i’m too tired for it, and anyway i don’t even want to learn what’s the fa/ndom’s opinions on the characters are at this point, i couldn’t care less, I care about how i feel for them and I don’t even want to hear how people discuss it.

(and tbh so i feel for the lore in general too bc i really like the lore of the game, sue me, and as much as i love to dig for details i’m too tired for opinions)

but that last post is the first time i see a post specifically written on the very topic that makes me anxious about C/ullen stuff, i didn’t feel like letting it past, i want to keep it on my blog.

Anyway also if you’ve stuck this far, i’m also going to be far more ready to unfollow stuff that really makes me spiral down now, the last few breaks i took from this website made me feel like i don’t want to deal with it anymore. I’m still anxious about what i post and i doubt i’ll still share a lot about it, bc at this point i don’t even feel like sharing this much either so there’s that, 

but therefore if you’ve stuck there you’re also welcomed to unfollow for whatever reason you feel like and especially if you don’t want to deal with my bullshit, bc god knows i don’t want to be dealing with it either. Don’t let things you can controle upset you, that’s not worth it.

Anyway, icha’s out, didn’t want to talk much about personal stuff more but here i am! and i’m taking my leave bye

[taonsil]

end of year fic summary \o/

this is copied over from dw so isn’t a tagging thing, but please do take it if you want~ it was in shareable format originally.

dhjfd I set my w/c goal at half of what my actual output was last year because I hoped to do more art, I didn’t realise it was gonna be because of the block from hell. but! the last minute burst of enthusiasm at the end of the year got me there, just makes for a pretty repetitive summary orz

january: - february: autochoris yeol, chansoo drabble march: april: may: june: round trip july: watch the time cause no one's watchin' august: september: october: suyeol drabble november: sparkle dust, unbeleafable december: useless husbands wip!

total number of fics (edited and reuploaded drabbles included): 7

total word count: 61k

favorite: gonna have a lot of same-y answers this year as there's less to pick from OTL but favourite, definitely unbeleafable. I really had a love-hate relationship with creating it, but I'm so pleased with the final result. It's a 'verse I'd happily have continued writing if there hadn't been a deadline

the best: unbeleafable. maybe it was due to lack of practice or coming out the other side of a massive writers block, but my style changed a little and I think it really benefited this fic! but also it was my first real attempt at writing explicitly nd characters and a plot that revolved around those themes. I'm the first to hold my hands up to my first attempts at other subjects having been clumsy, so I feel like I spent months just tweaking and editing it;; I really bonded with the characters in this (and the sideplots/supporting characters) n, yeah, it's just something I'm really proud of

most underappreciated by the universe: round trip! it's probably the only true gen fic I've ever written, and pokemon au. I found it very fun and cutesy to work on and (again, probably bc of the block that was getting me down most of the year) I was pretty happy with how the details worked into it. it's not super interesting, but I did hope it would be enjoyed ;u;

most fun to write: sparkle dust and unbeleafable. sparkle dust was ripped from a draft I created around march, and it was awful. it was when I could barely string a sentence together. it got real fun rewriting it once I felt back on my feet and feeling more confident of the direction it was going in, and that it's on a subject I enjoy, as well as knowing it was a gift for cat :'D unbeleafable was much the same - I started it in may, dusted it off in october and basically rewrote the entire thing at a personal best speed once I felt connected to it and comfortable with how the writing was going (and I enjoyed adding in little details so much, I was honestly laughing like a loser at some scenes while I was working on them). also the gross husbands wip I’m working on rn, it’s 6k in and I’m enjoying it a lotttt

sexiest: I mean..it's sparkle dust bc its the only one with actual sex in lol (if it could go to a character it would be tao in watch the time though, before he knows that yeol isn't up for anything his dialogue and actions are pretty sexual). and the wip but I can’t really talk about it cause it’s not up yet D:

“holy crap that’s wrong even for you”: everything was just standard Me this year imo.. it's not /wrong/ in any way, but writing an explicitly autochoris fic was pushing my own boundaries wrt comfort writing a subject. I mean I guess a sloppy blowjob wasn’t very Me but

fic that shifted my own perception of the characters: unbeleafable and watch the time. watch the time because that was also lifted from an old (2015) work, and writing the 'verse in more detail changed the character's attitudes. it's the first time I've written a tao who is so charming, mature and relationship driven, while cy is softer and more anxious (where as previously he was usually my filler character when I needed someone loud). and unbeleafable was just uh..honestly jm's depression was an afterthought. it wasn't in the original outline (which in fairness was only aiming for a 4k meet-cute, not the extensive slow burn it turned into). that his depression started to become detailed and was then a major plot point basically developed as I wrote, and I was backtracking to adjust earlier details to fit it. that jm really defined himself and I had to catch up;;

hardest to do: watch the time, god. I think I spent four months on it. I can't even words how terrible my block was this year, it really got me down. even when I was writing stuff that I can look back at now and see was ok, it was like I couldn't even tell if what I was reading made sense. it's the slowest I've ever worked on something and it was a really painful process, but I loved the idea of it so it felt like something good to work on when I was in a bad spot. (unbeleafable caught some of that too - I was poking around the same 5k of it for several months and considered dumping it so many times orz)

biggest disappointment: sparkle dust..a bit..bc I'm still terrible at smut lmao even with the context of the scene I just feel I could have done it better

most telling: I mean, everything. watch the time is chantao, ace themes, gender themes, (there's even a mention of tao's tattoo) it's a very very Me fic. a few people guessed unbeleafable was me. in a different sense that was telling, because I wanted yeol to be so loveable and worked hard to portray issues that matter to me in good lights

a thing I’m surprised at: that my w/c is as high as it is all considered djhf but no like, really the biggest surprise I've ever had in all my time writing fic was how positive the response to unbeleafable was. I was so genuinely shocked, I was even saving screenshots of some of the comments in case they were deleted or something. I still am surprised tbh.

what pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you never would have predicted in January? chantao and chansoo were probably the only thing I did expect tbh. pokemon au, subaek smut, suyeol..none of that was exactly what I anticipated, considering last year and previous was mostly focal around suchen and sutaohun

story with single sweetest moment? hnnn the lil chansoo drabble about yeol cutting his hair is overall entirely affection based. and there's two scenes in unbeleafable - when cy hugs jm after their sort-of-date and jm buries into it, and when cy offers jm his sleeve to hold while they're talking. (djhfd also this marrieds wip. they’re Very married, there’s a lot of gross husband-ing)

the story that made you cry: unbeleafable 🌿 the entire theme of it is personal to me, both yeol's autism and jm's depression. at times I was letting it write itself, and I got quite upset when they reached the point of being unsure if their communication issue would resolve. it was hard writing those scenes, because I absolutely couldn't change yeol's character to make it easier, but at the same time I really felt for how desperate and hurt jm was. (also in a nice-cry kinda way when they resolved things I was just, YES ; A;) (hmm also watch the time a lil bit when they had the confrontation and yeol was sure they’d have to break up)

easiest story to write: round trip was kind of a breakthrough wrt the block, after a lot of struggling it came pretty easy and got done in a day or two~

most overdue story: watch the time. I've wanted to write about sex repulsion for a long time but always skirted around it. also literally, seeing as it took me months longer to complete than intended :'D

did you take any writing risks this year? what did you learn from them? mmm kind of, in the subjects I chose. writing about an autochoris experience and writing a repulsed ace wasn't uncharacteristic for me but my confidence was very low at the time and I felt very uncomfortable about it. and unbeleafable honestly terrified me, I felt so vulnerable waiting for that to post and probably wouldn't have done it if it weren't for the fact it was anon initially. for me it felt like a big risk posting something that I felt could get a bad reception to an fest. I nearly contacted the mods at one point to ask them if it was even a good idea orz (also I feel my style just..changed somewhere, idk, but I decided to go with it instead of trying to change it back. its going ok ??)

in regards to writing, what did you learn this year: dghfd that blocks do end and that forcing yourself to produce has varied success. most importantly, I learned that sometimes bad things /dont/ happen :P

do you have any fanfic goals for the new year? I'm gradually working through my list! from last year I've achieved 4k+ averages for smaller fics and also writing 15k+ longer ones. and even managed something rated :P hmm idk though. I've always said 'more plot and a chaptered fic', but I wonder if I even want to do that anymore? it was more just something to tick off than a personal goal. I kinda would still like to write something plot driven but I'm accepting that my niche is what it is and it's probably what I'm best at/won't get bored doing. it feels like it's taken me until now to really decide and gain the confidence to write about the kind of people I want. so a very gentle goal for the new year would just be regaining my confidence, getting around to making that inspiration/techniques page I've always meant to have, continuing to polish up my style, and enjoying! writing!! again so I can get back to having fun !! upping suyeol’s page count also sweats