#and like she deserves a lot more credit then people give her

[lastoneout]

Like I know we all love making ADHD seem cool but like, don't forget it's actually a disability? My ADHD is bad enough I've nearly been evicted for forgetting to mail the rent check to the property manager, I've forgotten to pay the utility bills and had my water or power get turned off or had to pay fines bcs I missed a credit card payment. Once I was supposed to cat sit for a friend and I lost the house key she gave me but didn't realize until she was already out of town, and she had to call the apartment office to get someone to give me the spare so her cats would have food for the week. When I'm unmedicated I can't even get myself to shower half the time, forget eating or cleaning. Before I started living with my fiance I'd just like, not eat for days because I didn't have anyone to remind me to eat or go buy me food. I've forgotten to turn the stove off so many times and ruined kettles and tbh been DAMN fucking lucky the house didn't burn down. I've done stupid, impulsive shit that's nearly gotten me KILLED. I can't remember to close the shower curtain reliably even through my fiance points out every single time I forget, and he's almost out of soap rn bcs for the last MONTH neither of us have been able to remember to order more once we get out of the shower.

I've had such bad memory my entire life that to this day someone suggesting I forgot something because I simply didn't care enough is a legitimate trigger that, in the worst cases, makes me have a breakdown.

I get that for some of you this is just something that makes studying hard or you forget to take a pee break when you're playing Minecraft or whatever, that's still a valid struggle and you do deserve help and understanding, but like, ADHD is a disability. It's disabling. It's not impossible to improve and learn coping skills, meds help a lot, there are great accommodations out there(LIKE CLEANING SERVICES), but not every case of ADHD is the same, and a lot of them are pretty ugly ngl, and just because you managed to do something doesn't mean someone else is gonna be able to manage it too, or that they're being lazy for struggling. And that obviously doesn't mean ADHD people have a free pass to never work on themselves and make everyone cater to their every need or whatever, but we do deserve some understanding when we explain that our disability is actually disabling in ways that aren't palatable to you. So like, idk, maybe don't immediately recoil in horror when you find out that someone with ADHD can't keep their house clean. And for fucks sake don't ridicule them for it.

[cherry-pop-elf]

Kiss it Better Pt:2

Curly x Reader

AN: Holy shit I did NOT expect all the love and support from the original like god damn! People begging for a part 2 and everything (I’ll make sure to tag those who asked for one at the bottom) Like oh my god thank you guys so much! This means the WORLD to me! As a disabled person trying to make his medical issues more accurate it means so much that yall love it and how I write in general! Thank you!

SUM: You and Anya were busy dealing with changing Curly’s wrappings together. Sharing stories, and just trying to stay positive. That’s when you just had to ask. What’s going on between her and Jimmy?

Warnings: Jimmy, sexual assault, Anya sharing her trauma so pls take care of yourself, medical gore, medical situations, light violence,

“Thank you again for handling Curly’s medication. I’m sorry I just-“ Anya would try to explain again how sorry she was that she was struggling to do her job. A job you could never blame her for. She’s been through a traumatic event of the ship crashing, and already had to try and save a near corpse. She deserves to breathe.

“Anya it’s fine, really. I’m his romantic partner as well. It be weird if I didn’t pick up some responsibility and tried to take care of him. You also deserve time to rest. You’ve done so much for him, and saved his life. Give yourself more credit. It’s not a sin to ask for help.” You would try and comfort her, as you would grab the fresh bandages for Curly.

He needed a lot of them, and they had to be changed out relatively often. He’s basically just exposed meat after all. The risk of infection was high, which you were wondering how he didn’t even catch any yet, so he needed alot of attention and care.

If only Pony Express had packed more, because the med bay was running out of them fast. Very very fast. Might be only able to maybe re wrap him a few more times now. Had you terrified because as much as you wanted to take care of him you had to leave some bandages for the rest of the crew. In case of another emergency.

You wish you could be doing more.

“We’re going to undress you. Is that alright?” Anya would ask Curly, who in return would give two blinks to indicate that he consented to being stripped. Was gonna have to be done but it was still so kind of Anya to still ask before hand.

The two of you would soon get to work on changing out his bandages. A very slow, careful, tedious job. One that normally took over a hour to do properly. So it’s time to kill some of that empty space.

“Ya know, this isn’t the first time over had to wrap up a certain someone because they got hurt. I remember a time when we were at a Ski resort with his family. Someone wanted to try a path that was meant for experts and before you know it someone’s returning to the lodge with his leg bone sticking out of his pants.”

Anya gave a little ‘oh my’ as you just laughed at the memory. Curly just adored sports. Especially the winter variety. You felt so blessed that he had a job that paid so well. Well enough that the two of you, and his own family sometimes, could go and enjoy vacations like that.

You wonder if the two of you will ever see the snow again.

“That sounds rather nice, minus the whole breaking his leg. To share a cabin together with someone. Cuddle for warmth together by the fire place. Sounds really nice.” She would speak dreamily. As if she knew it was simply that. A dream. Something that will never happen again. No matter how hard she tried.

Like something was wrong with her.

“I bet you’ll get that moment. When we escape here you’ll have a flooding of men and women coming your way. The brilliant woman who managed to fight death and win. Again and again. The most brilliant woman to ever live.” You would praise her, as you were very mindful of Curly’s catheter. As if that needed to be messed with.

“Yeah…..Maybe……” Anya didn’t really seem to actually respond. Was like she was just saying words for the sake of words. Had you wondering.

Even before the crash she had just started acting off one day. From being a cheerful woman who was gentle and full of smiles, to being so quiet and scared by the littlest of sounds. Like she expected someone to jump from around the corner and attack her. Any feeling of safety and comfort vanished.

You were worried.

“Say, Anya-“ You began to speak, while disposing the bandages safely into the bio hazard bag. “-Is everything ok? I mean duh we’re not doing to hot with being, ya know, crashed and all. But besides that. You just seem…..different.”

Anya seemed to not hear you. She simply worked on checking over Curly’s body. Hunting down any infections, looking for possible bed sores, monitoring his healing, and getting ready to do the ever so gentlest of sponge baths.

Anya did always get in the zone whenever someone was hurt. You figured she didn’t catch what you said because of it.

So repeated yourself, as you stood next to her. Impossible to miss what you were asking, as you would help Curly sit up and just move his joints to better reach with the sponge.

The only sounds in that room were Curly’s whines of discomfort. Whines to indicate truly how much pain he was in when even the pain killers can numb it.

“Anya….I know you can hear me. Is everything alright? Not to be rude but I’m kinda asking you a question.” You would be gentle, but she still couldn’t help but looked distressed.

“Anya what’s-“ You would reach a hand out, to comfort her, but the second it was raised towards her she would immediately flinch. Her startled reaction ended up even making her drop Curly’s leg on the table.

Oh that’s gotta hurt.

For a fleeting moment you put Anya on the back burner, and just focused your attention on comforting Curly. How he gave a weak sob from the intense pain.

“Shhhh I know Curly Fry. I know. It’s gonna be ok. It was an accident. You know she didn’t mean it. Shhh.” You would kiss his forehead, as Curly had a muscle spasm through his body from the intense shock to his system. So exhausted and in so much pain.

“It’s gonna be ok. I promise. I love you so much. Just think about our future. How we will get off this ship, and have that family. Have our own baby-“

The moment you said baby, that’s when Anya finally cracked.

Her hands were now covering her face, as she just broke down into sobs. Sobs that sounded so hoarse. Like she’s done it so many times that her body was just abused from it. Left you so worried and confused.

What the hell is going on here?

“Anya, what’s wrong? What did I say?” You would gently guide her to a chair, and worked on stroking her hair. Giving her as much comfort as you would to Curly. The same gentle love as he would get. Love she deserved.

It took a while for her to catch her breathe, and you didn’t rush it because it really seemed she needed it, but her own trembling body was finally able to quite down.

“I need to tell you something. I need to tell you something about Jimmy-“

You were quick to kneel down infront of her, and was ready to take in every last word she was going to say. Maybe what secrets she held could finally explain why the hell you all were crashed here. Why Jimmy crashed you all.

“Jimmy ra-“

That’s when the door opened.

As if that bastard had a sixth sense for whenever people were talking about him. That same annoyed expression, same sneer, same empty eyes.

All three of you kinda froze in time now. Looking at him, as he looked back at you all. Scanning you. As if judging to figure out what was being said before entering.

“Hey….Captain….” You swallowed, as you would return to standing. Anya herself remained in her chair, with her head down. Didn’t seem she trusted herself in showing any expressions right now.

“What were you guys talking about?” He asked, as he seemed slightly on edge. Like he hasn’t been sleeping well or had too much caffeine. Just this tension of paranoia was in the air. Like he was worried about something.

“Just about the bandages. We’re starting to run low, and Anya is just getting worried about having enough.” Wasn’t a complete lie. The best lies were the ones with truth sprinkled in.

“Of course he’s wasting our supplies.” He scoffed, before walking over to the table. You were trying to give Curly some respect with grabbing something to cover him up with, but it was like Jimmy wouldn’t let you. The stare he gave you, when you grabbed the clean hospital gown, made you just freeze in place.

It was just so full of hate.

It was just so full of disgust.

It was just cruelty in dark eyes.

It was just focused on you. As if Anya didn’t even exist right now. Like she meant nothing to him. Nothing but the wind in the air. Something you don’t even bother in registering every day. Like how you breathe in air in your lungs.

You don’t notice until it’s gone.

“Has he been given his medication?” He would ask you, as his hands would be firm on the bed side. Just seeming to assert his dominance with standing over the man. Like some got over the little people.

“Yes Jimmy. He’s been medicated. We are actually in the middle of washing him. It would be nice if there was some privacy-“ You tried to gently hint at, only for it yo fall on deaf ears.

"The crash really did do a number on you. You don’t even have a dick anymore. Just holes huh-?” Jimmy would scoff, as that was your final straw. You would give Jimmy a hard hip bump, and quickly covered Curly up. To give him dignity and respect.

“Hey-! Watch it! Don’t think because you are Curly’s little eye candy doesn’t mean you can go pushing people around-“ Jimmy would bark at you.

You didn’t feel fear.

Jimmy was messing with YOUR man now. Curly deserved dignity and respect. He doesn’t deserve to be called a ‘set of holes’ no way in hell. No one deserved that and ESPECIALLY not Curly.

“Will you just shut up?! What the hell are you even doing here?! Aren’t you the Captain now? Captains are suppose to be doing whatever it takes to help the crew. All you’ve been doing is walking around and insulting everyone! It’s like you don’t want us to be saved. Be a Captain and take some responsibility already-!”

The anger that he had for you was terrifying. You swore it was like a switch. He suddenly seemed taller, bigger, angrier, more intense. You felt like you were shrinking more and more. Like you would melt into a puddle under that heated stare.

But you refused to.

For Curly.

“Listen here you-“

SLAP

You smacked him across the face. Was like the world went mute. No one was so much as breathing. Just the stares of shock from Anya and Curly.

“Get. Back. To. WORK.”

You ordered, and he listened.

He would hold his red cheek, and walked away like a dog with its tail between its legs. As if he was all talk and no bite. That he couldn’t bring himself to be more than an angry voice.

Someone needed to keep him in his place.

“Can this damn ship get any more hectic?” You sighed with your fingers to the bridge of your nose. Just trying to think clearly.

That’s when Anya found her voice.

“I’m pregnant.”

You opened your eyes wide, and was frozen in place.

Did you hear that right? No no. No way. Why would she be pregnant? How would she get pregnant? Who would get her…

“Oh my god.”

You slowly turned around to Anya with the puzzle pieces falling into place. You finally realized what had happened.

Jimmy never was a responsible man.

@meheheasasa @letmebedelutional @trashcansally @balanahala562

Prev 2 Next

[aishabbbb]

You're just so cute!

Part 1 Strawhats x affectionate! reader Can be read as platonic or romantic Synopsis: You love giving out compliments, especially to your crew mates. Characters: Luffy, Zoro, Sanji, Usopp, and Nami

LUFFY

Likes the compliments, especially after Nami berates him.

LOVES compliments on his strength the most, but will beam if you call him smart(since no one else does TT)

Call him pirate king or the greatest pirate and he'll fold immediately.

He is fine with it generally.

Except for being called cute.

Will 1000% pout about it, especially if you call him that in front of Usopp or Chopper cause he wants to be cool yk?

"I'm not cute! What type of pirate is cute!"

Eventually will come around to it begrudgingly(he secretly enjoys it), but will also say it back to you to get you annoyed.

Backfires so bad.

Will try to compliment you back but he kinda sucks.

"You smell like the best meat in the world!"

— Or he is actually very heartfelt and deep out of nowhere

"I love how your eyes dance with the stars."

ZORO

Hates it

Ok he doesn't ACTUALLY hate it, but will act like he does

He will get all fussy about it like "Yeah, whatever." and huff off somewhere.

Will blush anytime you say anything nice about him(all the time) but NEVER lets you see it.

Actually comes to love the attention from you.

ESPECIALLY about his strength and skill.

Call him the best swordsman ever and you MIGHT see him blush since he'll be so off guard. Just might.

Will compliment you back in private, especially if you're dating.

Isn't one to focus on looks when appreciating someone, but will if you just did. Mostly points out your skills.

After some time, he won't feel embarrassed at all and will get a little cocky.

"You are so cool!" "Of course I am."

"Wow Zoro, you are strong." "Just strong? Give me more credit."

HATES if he see's you complimenting Sanji near him.

Brags to him about how cool you say he is.

NAMI

First thinks you compliment her to get out of paying her.

"I'm not going to forgive your debt by sucking up to me."

Once she realizes it's genuine, she changes her attitude.

Feels all giddy inside whenever you say anything sweet about her.

She will smile brightly to you and say thanks whenever you do so.

Doesn't have any compliments she dislikes at all

But she appreciates complimemts on her character a lot more.

Being a (former) theif and conartist makes people have a pre conceived notion of her

So saying she's nice or kind makes her feel very happy.

Will compliment you back a lot.

Mostly on skills and character.

But she does forgive some of your debt because you are kind.

USOPP

Flustered.

He starts stuttering before saying of course!

Tries to stay cool about it but say he is cute or hot and he disappears

With his self esteem, he feels like you don't actually mean what you say.

He WILL ask for assurance if your dating

After realizing you mean it, it will make him feel better about himself

Specifically about his fighting skills

He doesn't think he is that good but you think otherwise

Feels more confident the more you appreciate his talent

Brags about it to everyone

Will uplift you too

Originally to reflect your praise, but later on as actually genuine.

SANJI

Will evaporate

This man gets soooo flustered.

If you thought Usopp was bad, he will redefine the word.

He just can't commute.

Just tries to have any response but ends up babbling.

Honestly, his flusteredness is so cute.

He will get a nosebleed and may faint depending on the type of compliment.

Call him hot or cool and he will get a nosebleed or faint.

Especially if you say he is cool.

But say he is nice—

This man will freeze.

Feels like he doesn't deserve such praise. Especially from you.

Tries to reject the compliment and compliment you back.

"B-b-but Y/N dearest, you are the most kindest, nicest person to EVER grace this earth!"

You never let him reject it.

So he just ends up accepting the praise.

May cry a little sometimes, particularly if you say he is a good person.

Man NEEDS a hug TT

Starts showing off in combat and in general so he can receive praise from you.

Will do something cool and look at you like a puppy until you notice him.

If you don't he pouts off somewhere else.

He will also brag to Zoro about how cool you think he is

[beargregor]

wait i'm curious, what makes you say that gregor doesn't like everyone else (if i read that post right)? just curious since i've never seen anyone else say that

i don't necessarily think gregor dislikes everyone else at lcb but i do think that gregor is an incredibly petty person that isn't nearly as close to the rest of the sinners and even outright dislikes some of them cough cough rodya cough cough which a lot of people just Refuse to see because he's as much of a doormat as he is. there's several examples i could get into to try and prove my point however i'll just focus on what i personally think to be the biggest ones.

additionally, this is going to be kind of long, so i'm adding a read more. read more! read it. sorry for being so wordy. i have several diseases.

Pt1. gregor is the type to try and get along at least decently with everyone, especially if he gets a good first impression from them.

this is less a point in favor of gregor's distance w/ the rest of the sinners and more just a contributing factor to it. once again there's several examples i could point to here but i think the most in your face one happened in canto I with yuri, as several people have pointed out. even before gregor comes clean about growing attached to her as quickly as he did because she reminds him of his sister, we get this interaction.

i'll go ahead and make the disclaimer now that i don't necessarily think gregor is the most reliable of narrators, especially when it comes to his feelings and interactions with most people, but from the way he acts when the topic of yuri comes up (and the way we still see him act even all the way up to c7, nearly a whole year after yuri's death) i don't see reason to question his sentiment here. gregor immediately got that aya and yuri were close, potentially even taking note of their traded belts, and went out of his way to get something nice for yuri despite hardly knowing her.

i feel like a lot of people have forgotten as much, especially since it's been so long since c1, but gregor actually spent a good bit of season 1 doing the exact same thing with the other sinners! gregor reads a connection between him and ishmael pretty quickly despite getting off to a rocky start

mostly because gregor can tell that ishmael is pretty sardonic in a very similar way to him. there's been multiple instances where ishmael and gregor have essentially expressed the same sentiment at different moments, most notably gregor's little argument after ishmael got shot with a decay ampule in c4

and ishmael's response to pilot talking about self-sacrifice in c5

i could go ahead and pull up more examples, but in general pm has gone out of their way to show us that gregor and ishmael are pretty similar, so it makes sense for gregor to assume that they're friends, right?

this will be pushpin 1. keep note of this for Later.

ishmael's only the first sinner we see gregor trying to do this with in s1, we also see him try it out with heathcliff, sinclair, and ryoushuu

he's tried to get along with charon, being one of very few sinners that we've seen actually try to establish a connection with her at all

even rodya, despite my insistence that gregor doesn't like her nearly as much as the fandom thinks he does

all of these seem pretty fine and dandy, right? sure it frequently leans towards self-degradation, micromanaging, and commiseration, but gregor can at least be pretty chummy with most of the sinners, can't he?

Pt2. hell's chicken was more than just comic relief guys please

i'm fully aware that this is quite the hot take, but i think hell's chicken deserves a lot more credit for character writing than the fandom gives it. hell's chicken gave us foreshadowing for several events, such as the donqui bloodfiend reveal

heathcliff's distortion in c6 (as well as hong lu's highly speculated distortion at some point in the future)

and ryoushuu and sinclair's continued connection by making him the odd one out on her team

which, hey! that implies something about gregor's odd one out, don quixote, too, doesn't it? yes. yes it does. that's pushpin 2. keep note of that for later.

speaking of pushpins, hey! that's pushpin 1!

splitting into teams is one of the major events in hell's chicken, and most of the sinner's choices are either motivated by very little, backhanded, or motivated primarily by not wanting to be on the opposite leader's side. i didn't include all of the picks, just because i feel like including most of them already gets this across, but i think gregor took one major thing from this: most of the sinners, when push comes to shove, will only side with gregor when they refuse to or can't take his opponent's side.

now, don't get me wrong, i'm fully aware that this is primarily intended to be comedic relief, but when gregor is being described as having his trust broken by ishmael or nearly crying because no one on his team properly sided with him for him, i feel like it's pretty fair to read into this.

something that i think is pretty important to remember in conjunction with this is that we know that gregor is the type to hold a grudge, both from his general attitude towards the G corp soldiers in c1 as well as his continued distaste for vergilius

even beyond the splitting into teams of hell's chicken, the sinners have given gregor plenty of reasons to feel bitter. i feel like this is something people have noticed but haven't really put a finger on, but it's kind of wild just how often the rest of the sinners make gregor the butt of the joke

and sure, we could argue that a fair few of these aren't really made with any ill intent. quite a bit of it could have been meant as harmless teasing, but with gregor being more sensitive than most, it coming from nearly all sides, and as often as it does? yeah, i think he's prone to taking it a bit personally.

Pt3. yes i do still think gregor was the third most important character in canto VII you guys gotta hear me out okay

of course, all of this leads up to the bit of the story i highlighted, doesn't it? c7? i totally get why people haven't really picked up on all the gregor things i did in it, seeing as they were mostly not *directly* said about him or by him.

personally, i think that gregor's distaste for talking about himself on any serious level and thus leading to him getting sort of "sidelined" narratively (which i take issue with that claim, but still. it's effective for getting what i mean across atm) is supposed to lead players to take a deeper look at the times gregor gets held up to other characters and compare and contrast what's being said about them by the matchup. as i showed earlier with his immediate latching onto ishmael, i think this is something gregor himself is at least partially aware of too.

so, that begs the question, who was gregor compared to in canto VII that makes me think it's one of the most critical pieces in understanding his character?

really, i'd like to avoid getting too lost in the analysis of this canto specifically, since i'd like to do a proper post about this later, but i figure i can bury the lede a little before doing it properly.

c7 features several characters being made to perform in sansón's play, acting out the relevant backstory for this segment of the plot. a lot of these characters have rather direct, degrading reasons for playing the roles they do.

outis, a character with an inflated ego who wants her journey to have a purpose, is made to play an aimlessly wandering villager with a single line.

hong lu and ryoushuu, two characters for whom families and the expectations placed upon them are likely going to play a major role, are made to play bloodfiends.

rodya, a character who resents her lot in life and is constantly shown to be eager to leave her destitution behind her and become someone special, is made to play a helpless villager that's too poor to even offer any money to the hero that saves her.

heathcliff, a character that has spent most of his life getting dehumanized by comparing him to beastly animals, is made to play a literal bear whose sole purpose in the plot is to get beat up and then quickly left by the wayside.

sinclair, a character that has two opposed parties essentially treating him as a macguffin to procure for their side, is made to play the character who was arguably the catalyst for this entire canto, not to mention playing a decently major role in ruina.

our star don quixote is made to play her father, the first kindred, but there's someone by their side the entire time, isn't there? don quixote's dear, steadfastly loyal companion. a character which don quixote has tasked themself with getting to come out of their shell?

hello again, pushpin 2.

gregor has been made to play our unreachable star, sancho. someone had to, of course. you can't really tell a story without it's main character, now can you?

now, i should once again give a disclaimer. i am not trying to say that i think adapting what happens to donqui/sancho in c7 to gregor is the road pm is going to take here, not only would that toe a bit past the line of foreshadowing, but it'd also just amount to rehashing that plotline again, which i don't think would make for a particularly exciting story.

what i DO think is that we can take a lot of the things that are said to either directly be the case for sancho and use them to inform how we see gregor.

and god, does playing sancho have some fucking implications for our favorite ossan archetype.

starting off, the earliest moment we get to see of sancho is quite literally her just waiting for death to take her in a pile of ashes.

which, i should remind everyone, is actually pretty damn close to what happens to gregor's literary counterpart at the end of the metamorphosis. gregor samsa experiences one final breaking point that pushes him over the edge and makes him decide to just wait for starvation to take him.

gregor and sancho both consider themselves to no longer be human, something which sancho goes out of her way to highlight repeatedly throughout the canto and gregor is quick to get defensive on her behalf for when outis starts really tearing into her

sancho spends quite a lot of this story denying herself the joys of community and friendship, despite knowing that, even with the rest of the sinners frequently making jokes at her expense and outright insulting her, they were things that she desperately craved.

and, while this is getting into my "outis is a red herring meant to distract us from gregor's eventual betrayal" theorizing, i also think it's worth noting for this discussion that sancho's fellow kindreds, her family, all seem to be under the impression that she dislikes them and ultimately her departure was an act of betrayal

and that, despite gregor being one of LCB's resident mood makers and attempted conflict de-escalators, one of the sinners that's most prone to making appeals to the bonds they've all forged together, only him and faust remained silent during everyone's speech

so yeah, i think there's quite a lot of little details and hints building up to the reveal that gregor's not quite as fond of everyone as he presents himself to be. i do think a lot of this ultimately comes down to gregor getting in the way of his own happiness, similarly to donqui, particularly because he's been frequently portrayed as something of a self fulfilling prophecy, especially by giving him as many christ allegories as they have by way of priest and garden of thorns. gregor is convinced that the rest of the sinners don't like him because he's not convinced anyone could like him, so he convinces himself that he hates them because why should he care if someone that he hates hates him too?

a lot of this ultimately ties back to my personal interpretation of what happens in the metamorphosis as well as my own theories regarding all the times gregor has made weird callbacks and references to lobcorp and ruina, but yeah. i think about this guy and his deeper characterization a fairly normal amount, i think.

to end this off i'll highlight one of my favorite little "gregor is fucking seething and trying so hard to keep it cool" moments, in the credits CG for c7 we see rodya teasing him by drawing a little horse on his window and actively pointing and laughing at it, which gregor really doesn't seem all too pleased about.

i personally think this ties into the other cruel part of sansón forcing gregor to play rocinante, which is the more literal "he's actually just straight up playing rocinante" side of things. gregor was quite literally made to play something less than human, less than even animal really, as he was reduced to nothing more than the shoes don quixote wore as she got to play the leading role. sansón directly makes jokes about gregor being nothing more than shoes in the play twice, which adds to this reading, i think.

this, imo, really plays into the adaptation of the metamorphosis! i've seen a lot of readings for the book that posit that, despite being the protagonist, gregor samsa can't really be considered the main character due to nearly everything he experiences in it being used to further his family's character development at his expense, which i think fits nicely with limbus gregor seemingly having the most said about him through indirect means by holding him up to other characters. also it's rodya carelessly making fun of His Big Major Insecurities™ again like she did in c1 which i always find fun. rodya i love you but god you're the worst.

[junrenjun]

love and lacrosse jackets

pe teacher!vernon x chemistry teacher!reader (fem)

genre: fluff

wc: 3k

warnings: reader is referred to as ms. (and other fem pronouns), reader wears vernon's clothes

a/n: this is not an understand series update and i apologize for that. however, here's a vernon teacher au with a little side of lacrosse and dad!seungcheol

You were suddenly thrown out of your thoughts by one of your students sighing and turning from her worksheet. “Ms. y/n, can I ask a question?” 

You knew this student, Maya, was likely trying to get out of doing her assignment. She was too smart for her own good. “Depends. Is it about the worksheet?” 

She paused for a second, turning her head slightly away in order to avoid your gaze. “...no.”

You continued. “Do you need to go to the bathroom or the nurse?”

Maya sighed and mumbled, “no.”

You turned back to your computer while giving your final response. “Then I think you know the answer. I would be happy to talk to you once you’ve balanced all those equations.” 

You should’ve known she wasn’t giving up that easily. If anything, she probably gave up halfway through the worksheet because she knew the answers and was just looking for something to entertain herself. “Mr. Chwe lets us ask him questions all the time.”

You snorted. “Mr. Chwe is a PE teacher Maya. You don’t have worksheets to do in his classes. Unfortunately, you do in chemistry. So please finish this or at least study for your quiz next week.” 

Maya was apparently taken aback by this. She was quick to defend herself, saying, “how do you know we don’t do worksheets in PE?”

You resisted the urge to roll your eyes. Maybe you should've been a college professor instead of a high school teacher. “I’m the girls lacrosse coach and he’s the boys coach. We spend a lot of time together and I’ve never once seen him make a worksheet.” 

An evil grin spread across Maya’s face. You internally groaned at this. That expression means she’s up to absolutely no good. She turned and tapped on her partner’s arm. Great, now she’s distracting other students too. “Henry, wouldn’t Ms. y/n and Mr. Chwe make a cute couple?” He grinned and started going off on a tangent about how funny it would be if the two lacrosse coaches were dating. 

This conversation really took a turn for the worse, didn’t it? There’s nothing you could do but groan, out loud this time, and put your head in your hands. Your neighboring teacher, Mr. Seokmin, really has impeccable timing though. He stuck his head through your door and grabbed your attention a few moments later. “Hey Ms. y/n, do you have a student that can run an errand for me real quick?”

Now was your chance. “Maya, since you seem to have no interest in balancing any more equations, why don’t you go help Mr. Seokmin?”

Before she could protest, the physics teacher grinned brightly at her before exclaiming, “perfect! Come on Maya, I need someone to help me carry these projects to the library.” Once she was finally out of the room, you breathed a sigh of relief. 

It didn’t last long though because your other students suddenly started giggling and murmuring amongst each other. Henry, who was still turned toward you, decided he needed to continue Maya’s antics in her absence. “You did say you and Mr. Chwe were close.” More giggles were heard. 

You’re not sure what you did to deserve this treatment from your 3rd hour honors class of all people, but clearly it was something. “Alright if you all don’t go back to your work I’m not offering any extra credit on this next quiz.” The rest of the hour passed in silence. 

“What’s with the long face?” Vernon thought the joking would cheer his best player up, but it just made Henry frown even more. 

After a few moments of silence, he finally answered, “I had a quiz in chemistry today. Don’t think I did too well on it.”

Vernon was quick to ask him which teacher he had. “Your favorite, Ms. y/n,” Henry responded. 

The PE teacher rolled his eyes at the comment but still clapped his hand on the player’s shoulder. “You’ll be fine, kid. She offers extra credit. But she also told me you and Maya were pestering her the other day instead of doing your work, so maybe you should put a little more effort into understanding the material next time.”

Henry grumbled, knowing nothing good would come of an argument. “Yeah, whatever you say Coach.” Then, he dropped his bag on the ground and ran out onto the field to start warming up.

Vernon felt someone approach him from behind. “See dude, even the kids can pick up on you and y/n’s chemistry. Haha, get it? Chemistry? Y/n teaches chemistry.” The head coach could barely restrain himself from flicking Mingyu in the forehead. He was a great assistant coach, but an incredibly annoying friend. 

“Why can’t I just be friends with a coworker and fellow lacrosse coach?” Vernon complained. Mingyu simply watched on as his friend continued. “Just because we’re both single doesn’t mean we should get together. I mean she’s really cool and works really well with the kids. And she’s an insane lacrosse player, an even better coach too. I think she could get the girls to state this year. I just think…” He’s cut off by Mingyu smacking his arm. 

For once, he’s grateful for the assistant coach’s intrusion, because he turns around to find you jogging up to him. Weird, he thought to himself, since you and the girls have a game today. You skid to a stop next to the two, and make eye contact with him. “You don’t happen to have an extra SVHS shirt do you? I think I forgot my coaching shirt at home today and I really don’t want Seungcheol getting on my ass for it.” 

Vernon’s world comes crashing down at that moment. Maybe he does have a teensy little crush on you. Because the thought of you wearing his clothes has him swooning. Mingyu, ever so helpful, snaps him out of the moment by clearing his throat to yell at the boys for messing around. Vernon blinks at you for a second before stammering out, “uh yeah I think so,” and reaching into his bag. He pulls out a gray quarter zip with the words “SVHS” and “Coach Chwe” embroidered on the chest. He debates hiding it from your sight and shoving it back in his bag to save you both the embarrassment, but he knows how strict Seungcheol is as an athletic director. 

He eventually tosses it to you, stuttering out something about good luck while watching you throw it over your head. Once it’s on you say, “I have the same one, so hopefully no one sees the difference. Thanks Chwe.” He can’t even process your words because his brain is simply malfunctioning seeing you in his clothes, especially ones that say his name. He’s no better than his high schoolers. Before he knows it, you’re turning on your heel and jogging back to the main field. 

Someone comes up behind him, filling Mingyu’s absence, since the assistant coach ran off to lead practice drills in the middle of Vernon’s little crisis. He hears the lacrosse captain snickering and then telling him, “damn Coach, you’ve got it bad. You’re redder than a tomato.”

Vernon simply cannot handle it any further. “Oscar, for heaven’s sake, please shut your mouth and go back to practice.” Oscar throws his hands up in mock defense, before grabbing the ball that rolled over to Vernon’s feet and running back onto the field.

You really need to give Vernon his coach’s jacket back. It didn’t help that you weren’t a morning person, and seemed to accidentally leave it at home whenever you left for work each day. It also maybe didn’t help that it smelled just like the boy’s lacrosse coach, who, admittedly, smelled pretty damn good. But, you couldn’t hoard Vernon’s things forever. You were lucky enough that you had gone a week without him mentioning the jacket at all, which you chalked up to him knowing you were busy.

Tomorrow, you told yourself. Tomorrow you would take the jacket back to school and give it to him. You even laid it out with your own jacket, which you were going to wear the next since you had a game anyways. That, however, was a mistake. Because in the morning, groggy from lack of sleep, you accidentally threw on Vernon’s jacket and shoved your own into your work bag. 

How no one told you until 3rd period, you’re not quite sure. Mainly because Seokmin had specifically complimented your outfit when you visited him before your first class. You thought maybe it was because you were wearing a new pair of pants. Clearly it was not and the physics teacher was using it as a means to tease you (and Vernon by proxy). If only you had known.

Maya stepped into your classroom extra peppy that day, which was already a recipe for disaster. The fact that she was the one to catch that you were wearing Mr. Chwe’s zip-up certainly did not help. A gasped “oh my god” stopped you in the middle of your lecture. You pointedly looked at the girl before asking, “Maya, is everything alright?”

The poor girl could barely contain her excitement, practically shaking in her seat. “You’re dating Mr. Chwe! I knew it!”

You were caught so off-guard that it took you a while to respond. “Maya, where did you even get that idea from? And you’re being disruptive, I’m trying to teach about equilibrium.” 

She stood from her seat and pointed at you, before excitedly exclaiming, “your jacket. You’re wearing Mr. Chwe’s jacket!” You looked down and, sure enough, Vernon’s name was plastered across the chest. To put it plainly, you were mortified. In fact, you’re pretty sure you’ve embarrassed yourself even more when you don’t respond for a solid minute. 

Finally, when you’re done wallowing in pity in front of a bunch of 16 year olds, you make your way to your desk and pull out a hall pass. You hand it to Maya swiftly before telling her, “if you’re too invested in this to learn chemistry, go bother Mr. Chwe about it. It’s his planning period.” She gapes up at you before scrambling out of the room.

You turn back to the rest of the class, making sure to pointedly look at Henry. “No other questions about my love life?”

A deadly silence spreads across the room. Henry sinks back in his chair but you watch a hand creep up from the back of the classroom. You sigh and call on the girl. She’s clearly surprised you even allowed her to speak, because the question is whispered to the point you can barely hear it. “Why do you have Mr. Chwe’s jacket?”

The inquiry is enough to throw you off the deep end. “Ok, I’m not teaching the rest of class. I don’t care what you guys do as it’s either A) not disruptive or B) asking me about my personal life.” 

Seungcheol is surprised when there is a knock on the athletic office door in the middle of 3rd period. Students should be in class and if it were a staff member, they would have just let themselves in. He tells whoever it is to come in and is slightly less surprised to see Maya standing in front of him. She doesn’t let him speak first, quickly letting out, “do you know where Mr. Chwe is?”

He raises an eyebrow at the girl. “You got a hall pass kid?” he fires back. Maya waves the piece of paper around in his face. He rolls his eyes. 

She puts her hands on her hips and looks pointedly at him. “Seriously though. Do you know where Mr. Chwe is? It’s supposed to be his planning period or something.”

Seungcheol is still confused why she needs to see Vernon in the middle of 3rd hour and how she managed a hall pass for it. “Why?”

Maya plops down on the chair in front of his desk with a sigh, clearly this conversation was not happening without a little bit of a fight. “Ms. y/n sent me to ask him a question.”

The athletic director can’t help but let out a snort at the girl’s comment. Maya is suddenly interested in his reaction. “Why is that so funny? Do you think they’re dating too?”

Seungcheol is surprised yet again. “Do you think they’re dating?”

Now Maya snorts. “Obviously. Ms. y/n is wearing his lacrosse jacket today.” She laughs when the man’s eyes practically bulge out of his skull. He rustles around his desk, grabbing a notepad and writing another hall pass for the girl.

After scribbling for a second, he passes the note to the girl and tells her, “Mr. Chwe is in his office, room 218.”

The girl grabs the note from his hands and gleefully gets up to skip out the door. She stops midway through and calls out over her shoulder, “thanks Dad!”

“I’m not dating Ms. y/n, Maya. You know that.” Vernon sighs exasperatedly. “Why are you even asking me this?”

He knows he’s in for trouble when she smirks. “She’s wearing your coaching jacket today. Care to explain that?”

Vernon knows he should’ve asked for it back sooner rather than later. But he was secretly hoping that he would be able to see it on you one more time. And the longer you have it, the more likely it’s going to come back smelling like you (not that Vernon cares anyways right?). He doesn’t miss a beat though, explaining to Maya that he lent you his jacket for a game and that you probably mixed it up with your own. She’s not impressed, but she knows it’s an explanation that’s most likely true. This doesn’t stop her from interrogating Vernon further. “Do you want to date Ms. y/n?”

His silence is incriminating. He can tell by Maya’s mile wide grin. Trying to put an end to it, the lacrosse coach stands up from his desk, telling her that he’ll walk her back to whatever class she left from.

One tiny important detail he forgot is that you teach 3rd hour honors chemistry. A class that one of his players, Henry, shares with Maya. And he’s currently standing outside your door, watching as you type away on your computer. Sure enough, “Mr. Chwe” is embroidered across the chest. Vernon thinks he might combust on the spot. His student clearly picks up on this, muttering something about how she’s “seen middle schoolers with more balls.” 

He waits outside your door as Maya enters the room. There’s only a few minutes left of the period, so he figured it would be better for both of you to talk away from prying eyes. As the bell rings, he patiently watches the students trickle out your door. When he’s sure that everyone is gone, he steps into the doorway. What he does not expect is for you to walk straight into his chest, stumbling back with the cutest “oomph” he’s ever heard. 

Vernon is stunned but you look completely mortified. Probably because you just ran into the man whose jacket you’re wearing basically without his consent. His assumption is correct because you start mumbling out apologies. “I’m so sorry I thought this was my jacket when I grabbed it this morning. I didn’t mean to wear it today, I made such a mess of this. I shouldn’t have even asked for it in the first place. I was just about to change, give me a second I…”

The lacrosse coach cuts you off in the middle of your little rant. “Do you want to go out with me after your game on Friday?” 

You blink at him, not even processing the words he just said. When you finally do, your cheeks flush and you glance down at your watch. “Do you think you can ask me that in like 4 hours, Chwe?”

Vernon has no idea what you mean by that. He gawks a little bit. Do you need time to think about it? Are you not interested? Do you already have a boyfriend? Shit, he should’ve thought this through.

You break him out of his little trance with a small chuckle. “We’re on the clock Vernon. And you have a class in three minutes.” 

He glances at his watch. His freshman PE class is probably waiting for him. He mumbles something about meeting him on the main field before practice. Then he’s out the door. You’re left there, stunned, still in his jacket. You don’t bother to take it off the rest of the day.

A few hours later, Mingyu and Seokmin are watching you both converse from afar. Vernon’s cheeks are the reddest they’ve ever been. You’re fidgeting nervously but also smiling. It seems to be going well. Seokmin turns to the assistant coach before saying, “took them long enough.”

They hear someone approaching and turn to see Seungcheol. “You both owe me $20.” 

Both the teachers roll their eyes at him but reach for their wallets. Maya pops up from their other side, walking up to her father. “I should be getting at least half of that. I did all the work.” 

Seungcheol grunts, pondering her proposition. He turns to her. “What about this? You can either get $20 now or $200 if y/n is Mrs. Chwe before you graduate college?”

Maya’s eyes brighten and that sinister smile spreads across her cheeks once again. “Deal.” (She’s $200 richer at her college graduation).

[1d1195]

Most VI

Read Most here | ~4.3k words

From me: I think you guys don't give me enough credit for NOT putting cliffhangers in some of these (jk, I'm the worst lol) This part is a little shorter than the most recent parts --I was going to combine it with the last part, but decided to keep it self-contained because it seemed better that way. One more part to go! :)

Warnings: Lauren, angst, and a house fire. Please suspend your belief.

Summary: Harry finally figures out why she left. He just hopes it's not too late.

Harry was buzzing. His shift went by so fast knowing she was at the end of it.

Harry stopped to get her coffee. It was two in the afternoon when he finally left work, went home to shower, then make his way back toward her place. There were a lot of things that changed, but he hoped some hadn’t. Such that she would be getting up from her nap and would want a coffee.

“Hey, Lo,” Harry said as he entered the shop with a wave. Lauren was waiting on others in front of him, so he stood in line analyzing the menu wondering if she liked something different now. He couldn’t stop smiling, he could feel his cheeks nearly bursting. “What do y’think the chances are that she likes the same drink?” Harry asked as he approached the register.

It took a minute for Harry to notice that Lauren didn’t answer. He looked down from the menu and was totally confused by the expression on Lauren’s face. “You really love her? After she broke your heart?”

He stared at her. Unsure of where the question came from. Especially from her. Harry still didn’t know Lauren extensively, but it was an odd question to ask anyone and even odder for her to broach it.

But Harry would answer it any day. “Of course I do, Lauren. Why wouldn’t I?”

She shook her head. “You deserve so much more than her,” Lauren’s eyes filled with tears and her voice cracked.

Harry’s brain worked slowly. Those words were familiar. Too familiar. The way she said them. The emphasis. His breathing felt erratic, and he realized too late that he was in flight-or-fight mode. The way his body started to shake. None of the puzzle pieces were fitting together but at the same time they were. All of them. Like he knew what happened the day she left as if they were said to him himself. “What... Lo... what did y’say?” It sounded like something she had said to him no less than eighteen hours ago. Her reasoning for that day.

Lauren covered her mouth, squeezed her eyes shut. Then, when she spoke, her words were caught on a choked sob. “She wasn’t supposed to come back! You weren’t supposed to wait for her!”

Harry took a step back. The coffee shop was too small suddenly and he was way too close to her. “Lauren,” his voice was low. His heart was aching; like it already knew what happened but unable to fully believe it. “What did y’do?” He whispered. But now, in the few seconds he had to reminisce where it went wrong. Harry thought back on it, he thought about the way Lauren’s grip had felt around his neck when he helped carry her to bed.

All that time...

It’s not fair.

Harry shook his head of the memory trying to focus on how he felt now. “Lauren,” he repeated. “What did y’say t’her?”

“I just thought that if she was gone you would see there was more than her for you.”

He backed up again, like she had slapped him. He bumped into the display behind him knocking a few bags of coffee grinds to the floor. “How could you?” He shook his head, it felt like someone had punched him in the stomach. There wasn’t enough air. All that time just gone because of someone’s rotten jealousy. “You’re supposed to be her friend!”

“I–I… I don’t know… I just thought–”

“Did y’even message her all that time? Did y’even try?” He shouted. There was only a half dozen people in the coffee shop, but they all stared at Harry’s outburst.

“Oh... oh, my goodness,” someone whispered. Someone who very clearly knew what happened between her and Harry three years ago and how Lauren, if she was anyone’s friend, would have done anything to help them. But she didn’t. She let Harry suffer and watched him order countless coffees and asked if she had heard anything from her.

“Harry—”

“How could you?!” He shouted. It was pure silence this time. Lauren covered her mouth again and sobbed. “Three years, Lauren! Three years I have been half alive without her. How could y’do that t’her? How?”

“I-I—”

“Eleven hundred days, Lauren! Eleven. Hundred. One thousand, one hundred, twenty-seven days. Six birthdays, three Christmases, three anniversaries, that we’ll never get back because of you.”

Harry might have felt bad had Lauren tried to get him to leave all those years ago instead of her. Because if Harry had left, he would have been the stupidest person alive and he would have deserved to feel broken and terrible for three years. But it wasn’t her fault. She didn’t know why Lauren said it. She didn’t know how Lauren’s hand had felt on the back of his neck. Lauren preyed upon the sweet girl’s insecurities and extorted the kindness she possessed.

Lauren betrayed her friend. She broke both their hearts because she was jealous. So, Harry didn’t feel bad. Not even a little.

He shook his head, his anger and frustration reaching a boiling point and he needed to get out of there and punch a tree before he did something stupid. Without another word, without another thought of Lauren and what she did, he started for the exit quickly.

However, when his hand touched the door there was one last thing he needed to say. Hopefully, it was going to be the last thing he ever said to her. “Don’t ever speak t’her again, Lauren. She’s too kind t‘say it and I don’t want her t’know. So, I’ll say it on her behalf: Don’t. Ever. Speak to her. Again.”

*

Harry sped much too fast in his car the entire way to her apartment building. His mind was racing. Trying to figure out what happened in the three years and how it could have gotten so far away from him… away from her.

Why didn’t he press more that night? Why didn’t he go visit her after a year—no, a week? An hour. Why didn’t he try?

Harry was so wrapped up in his thoughts he didn’t even realize there were sirens in the distant background. He didn’t realize people were pointing in the direction he was headed. For the first time since he decided he wanted to help his community and he was going to be a firefighter, Harry didn’t see the smoke.

When he parked off to the side because he knew the trucks would be coming, he searched for the car he saw in the middle of traffic just a couple short weeks ago. He prayed it wouldn’t be there. But it was. “Fuck,” he whispered to himself. He saw a new storage pod outside, but it was locked shut—she wasn’t outside. He dialed her phone number. Praying he was unblocked. He hadn’t texted or called her in the time she had been back. He had deleted her contact info but and her messages fell to the bottom of the list with disuse—it was far easier to type her number than scroll looking for it. The idea he was going to scare her away again far outweighed his desire to have communication with her—seeing her in person was more than sufficient. It was, in a way, slow and old-fashioned, he had bargained to see her by accident.

But now that seemed like the stupidest idea he had ever had.

It had been ages since he dialed her number, but the ten digits were imprinted on his mind like the melody of his favorite song or a tattoo on his arm. He tapped his screen as quickly as he could. Paced in front of the burning door, watching the flames float up curtains and walls swiftly.

He listened to it ring. Which was a miracle.

But there was no answer.

His stomach churned.

He dialed again.

No answer.

Harry started to sweat. He ran a hand through his hair. “Everyone is out,” someone shouted.

But Harry didn’t believe that. Pressed his thumb on her number again.

No answer.

Harry stared at the building. It was supposed to be a saving grace, this building. She was home. But right then, he hated it. With intense passion. Hated it more than anything.

“C’mon,” he murmured to himself.

There was a pause in the ringing. “Mmm… Hi Harry,” she whispered sleepily. For the briefest second Harry forgot the reason for his call. “Is your shift over? Are you coming to me or do you want me to come to your place?” She murmured. God, Harry loved her so much. Even in a dangerous situation, he was so happy to hear his name on her lips. Right when she woke up. It was only seconds between her answer and his sentence but after she had been gone all of time felt slower, he had to fill it with more. He thought of all the mornings he lost with her. All the weekends he would have spent in her dorm waking up on a mattress that was too small for two people, but it wouldn’t have mattered because he could never be close enough to her. He didn’t get to hear her say Hi Harry in a sleepy voice and relish it.

He couldn’t do that now.

“Baby, please tell me you’re not home,” he begged, but he was already pulling his jacket from his car. He would have put his whole suit on if he had it with him, but obviously he didn’t. The jacket wasn’t station-issued but it was flame resistant and it would have to do. It seemed so counterintuitive to cover up more when he was already sweating with anxiety and from the hot summer sun. Next came gloves that he had from helping Gemma cut down trees in her yard. Again, not fire station approved, but they would have to work. 

His eyes stayed glued to the building watching her balcony. This was a nightmare. Worse than any one that Harry ever had of her. He would take another three years apart over this.

“I just... woke up from a nap,” she yawned, stretched. God, he would have paid thousands of dollars just to see it. One brain cell was happy her nap time hadn’t changed.

But this wasn’t the time to worry about her nap. “At... Eleanor’s?” He hoped, squeezing his eyes shut.

She coughed, unaware. “No,” she coughed again. “I’m at my apartment, why?”

He opened his eyes and saw the smoke and fire crawling up to the third floor. The slew of people around him crying and watching as the building went up in flames. Memories lost and trinkets gone. He closed his eyes tight. “Kitten,” he whispered. “I need you t’listen very carefully t’me. Y’need t’stay calm. Can y’do that?”

“Harry, what’s wrong?” He heard her shuffle.

“Baby, m’here. I promise. M’not gonna let anything happen t’you,” he assured her.

“What are you talking about? What’s—it’s,” she coughed again. “Ugh,” she sighed. “It’s super hot in here and the AC isn’t working—I think I have to have the super look at—”

“Kitten,” he rubbed his forehead, terrified of her reaction. “M’outside your building. It’s on fire and you need to get out.”

There was a pause. “No...” she shook her head. Coughed. “No, the smoke detectors didn’t go off.”

It was his worst fear. Her sleeping like the dead terrified him. He always worried something horrible like this would happen. Thank God he called her. But if the detectors didn’t even go off... she didn’t have a chance.

She squeezed her eyes shut. “Baby, y’need t’go,” he could see the fourth floor, right below hers—the windows began seeping with thick smoke. She gasped and shuffled back.

“Oh... oh no,” she whispered. “Harry, the hallway...” her voice cracked. “Harry, what do I do?”

Harry squeezed his eyes shut and held the phone tighter in his hand. He wished he could teleport up there. He heard water running. Probably a towel or blanket she was soaking while she still could. Good girl. “Baby, y’need t’come to the balcony.”

It was the reason an astronaut wasn’t feasible after all their training that one week. It was why she would never have a kiss on a Ferris Wheel or why she would never reach the top of a mountain hike. Anything higher than two stories was too tall and too scary.

Now more than ever.

She shook her head, Harry couldn’t see her, but he knew it. “I can’t do that... I... I...”

“I know, baby, I know it’s high. But you have to,” he wanted to scream but he had to be calm for her.

She couldn’t even bring herself to the window to look down. Harry was so scared as he thought of how much smoke she was inhaling whether there was a wet blanket around her head or not. “I can’t,” she croaked. “It’s too high.”

“Kitten, I know,” he agreed. “I know,” he squeezed his eyes shut. “But I need you to get out,” he clutched the phone tighter. “Like right now.”

The sound of firetruck doors slammed from behind him. “Styles! What are you doing here?”

“Someone’s in there,” he shouted back.

“We’ve been told everyone’s been accounted for!”

He turned and glared toward the voice that said it. “Where’s the fucking ladder truck!?”

But Harry already knew that the building was taller than any of the ones in town. Even if it was here, it would only reach the third floor. 

“They’re coming from the town over… Who’s still in there—”

She coughed. It was muffled by her shirt, the wet towel she surely had over her head. “I can’t, Harry. I’m sorry,” she sniffled. “I’m too scared and it’s,” she was broken up by a cough again.

“S’not an option, baby,” he shook his head. She wasn’t giving up. He wasn’t allowing her to give up. He was stepping closer to the house prepared to run up the stairs from the first floor, through the flames, and five flights of stairs. Where the fuck was the ladder truck?!

“Styles, it’s unstable. You’re not to enter—that’s an order. It’s not safe!” The voice of the fire chief shouted from behind him.

He was going to get fired—but a chance of reaching her? It was well worth it. He would take third degree burns over every inch of his body in trade for her safety. It didn't matter what he needed to do. “Baby, you still with me?”

“I’m here,” she whispered. “I’m really scared, Harry.”

He winced, feeling so much agony over her fear. His brain wasn’t moving fast enough. “Where’s the goddamn truck!?” He shouted behind him, his voice quieting on the phone. The rest of the squad was hooking up hoses to fire hydrants and looking for a point of entry to determine the safety of the building. Talking with the manager of the building. 

Then his voice softened, even though he was desperate and broken. “I know, baby. I know. S’okay. M’gonna get you out,” he promised.

“Harry,” she sniffled. It felt worse than third degree burns. It felt worse than not knowing if she ate breakfast or got a good night’s sleep. Nothing felt as bad as her sniffling; sad and scared. Harry wanted to hold her and assure her it would be okay; but he was too far away.

“M’here, baby. M’here,” he promised.

“Harry—”

“Kitten, I just need t’think for one second and I’ll get y’out—”

“Harry, baby—”

“—I promise. I would never—”

“Harry, I really, really love you,” she croaked. Silencing any thought Harry had. “I always have. I didn’t stop loving you. Not even for a second. I think I love you more if that’s even possible.”

It felt like the last three years never existed. She was never gone. The hole in his heart was filled. His lungs didn’t feel short of breath, and his muscles stopped aching. She loved him. He thought of Gemma saying she would never do something that would hurt both of them.

But Harry was sick of her goodbyes. He didn’t like that they came without warning. They never said goodbye or goodnight. It was always implied she would see him tomorrow.

Harry dropped his phone without responding. He didn’t think; didn’t think logically at all. His training was gone. He relied on his instinct and the strength training he had thrown himself into at the gym. 

He marched up to the first first-floor patio railing and stood on it as the rest of his coworkers shouted. He had seen moments of incredible strength and determination from every day people choosing to be heroes. Harry would never tout himself as such, but he was going to be heroic for her.

The distinct voice of his chief started to shout after him as well, but it was too late. He had to be quick for a hundred reasons, but if they stopped him, something bad would happen to her. Then he would die--that he was sure of. The railing was a good jumping point. Heat poured from the building. People shouted at him. Shouted into the walkies to get the ladder truck there ASAP. He was so fired. But it didn’t matter. 

He jumped up from the railing and grabbed for the balusters the second floor balcony. He yanked himself up in a chin-up that his friends and coworkers would be proud of if they had a moment to admire it. Once on the second balcony, he remained perched for a moment. Gathering his nerve, and resetting his muscles before he launched up to the next floor in the same way as the second. Then he did it for the fourth and fifth balconies as well. He didn’t think about how high up he was. How a free fall would definitely break his spine or very much something worse. He wasn’t the one afraid of heights after all.

She was more important. Always. He was not going to let her say I love you on the phone to him after three years of nothing, make him whole again, and then just leave permanently.

Once on her balcony, his muscles screamed. He pulled on the slider but it was locked. He pressed his face to the glass and searched for her but couldn’t see her through the smoke.

“Goddammit!” He shouted, slamming his fist on the slider. But she probably couldn’t hear it over the sound of the room separating her, the sirens, and probably the sound of her own coughing. Harry pressed his gloved hands to his face and pressed his hands to his pockets searching for anything that could be useful.

Then his saving grace was a planter in the corner of the balcony. Time seemed to be moving so slowly, he could have cried. He yanked the stand surely straining a muscle in his back but that didn't matter either. The plant tumbled to her patio floor and in the same motion, he smashed the heavy holder it into the slider. He turned his head away to avoid the glass and the heat bloomed from inside.

“Kitten, if y’can hear me. I need you t'come t’my voice,” he shouted. The floor creaked under the weight of his foot. It made his training kick in, he couldn’t keep going. It was useless if he fell through the floor and couldn’t keep her safe. 

It killed a piece of him, but he stayed where he was. Through the smoke, he searched for her. “Kitten, please,” he begged.

Holding onto the frame of the door he stepped into the room, shirt over his mouth, his foot feeling for a support beam that hadn’t been broken by the flames or something.

“Goddammit,” he croaked. “Where are you?” His eyes burned from the smoke and heat but he tried anyway because he had to find her.

“I’m here,” she called weakly.

He closed his eyes, his heart aching as he breathed out inside his shirt. “Good. Good, baby. Come here,” his eyes were watering from the smoke or heat. He thought. Or maybe it was just pure relief flooding his vision. In actuality, they were just tears. “Baby, you have t’come here now.” He ordered.

The floor creaked and he didn’t know where she was and it killed him. He couldn’t see through the smoke. 

He prayed none of her possessions were lost. Her phone probably had pictures on it that she loved, or words jotted into her notes app that never made it to a notebook. Who bought her notebooks and pens now? Was there anyone that knew her like he did? He was going to get her a notebook and pen right after he got her out of here. There was the distinct sound of the ladder setting up behind him.

“Harry,” she croaked. “I didn’t—”

“Kitten, just come here,” he begged. “I don’t care. Just…” 

“I thought you…” God he needed to see her. Needed to hold her. Her voice sounded like she didn’t know he was coming for her—like he would ever let her die in a fire and let I love you be the last thing she ever said to him. 

“Carefully, baby,” he reminded her, wishing more than anything he could run across the room and grab her as fast as he could. Praying that she knew he would never let anything happen to her.

“Harry, it’s cracking,” she whimpered.

“Kitten,” his heart was racing worse than any other time in his life. “You have to,” he was telling her, but it sounded like he was begging. “Please,” he wasn’t against begging—not if it would get her out. “If I come t’you, I’ll fall through, I don’t think you’ll want that,” he didn’t want to sound self-important he, just wanted her out. He was so stressed by this predicament, he worried he was going to have a heart attack at the ripe age of twenty-three right in front of her. He took another cautious step toward where he thought her voice came from. The wood groaned under the pressure. “Kitten, please,” he pleaded.

Her cough was closer. The creaking was nearer. 

Then through the plume of smoke, he saw her--just barely. The collar of her T-shirt over her mouth, a wet towel around her head. The muscles of his back released ever so slightly. “Good girl,” he encouraged. “Nice and slow,” he crouched to the same level as she crawled below the smoke. He brushed the floor in front of him with his gloves. “Just a little more, baby,” he whispered. “M’here,” he promised. “There’s a lot of glass—please be careful,” he begged. But he would pluck out every piece himself if it meant she was alive for him to do it.

Once she was within grabbing range--near enough to the balcony that he wouldn't need to step on the crumbling floor, he yanked her to him. Pulling her to stand and clutching her to him as if their lives were dependent on it. For a moment, he held her, kissed the side of her face as she coughed and he felt along her ribs as if she wasn't real and holding her was all in his head.

It was no longer than three seconds, but it could have been hours or days that he held her. The sound of everything falling apart below them didn’t matter. The creaking, the wood breaking, the integrity of the building melting. All of it didn’t matter. “C’mon,” he ushered her further out on the balcony. The ladder was greeting him. Finally.

He sighed with relief. “Kitten,” his voice was soft, a bit hoarse with anxiety and smoke coating his esophagus. “Close your eyes and don’t open ‘em until I say so, yeah?”

“Please don’t fall,” she mumbled and tucked her face against his jacket. He knew it was a protective layer, but he wished with everything in him it was softer for her delicate face.

“Never, baby,” he promised, dragging a gloved hand across her cheek wishing it was also his hand and not the rough material.

“I was talking to myself,” the smallest of smiles graced her pretty lips.

Harry buried his nose in her hair. The skin between his eyebrows pinched together. Without full control of his emotions, he released a quiet chuckle and his eyes continued to water from the smoke (they was definitely just tears). His laugh was barely loud enough for her to hear. “I won’t let that happen, kitten,” he promised anyway. He hauled himself over the railing and onto the ladder. He held his hand out. “C’mere, kitten. M’here.” She tentatively stepped forward. “Hold your hand out,” he whispered. As she did, he grabbed it immediately. “Good girl,” he encouraged. “I’m going to lift you now, okay?”

“Harry,” she whispered, her voice full of worry. “It’s–”

“Baby, s’not an option,” he repeated.

“But—”

He yanked her closer, watching the smoke billow out of her slider door. The flames crept closer and the only thing that kept him from losing his grip on reality was that she was holding his hand and not victim to the flames behind them. Without hearing her protest, he lifted her. As if she weighed nothing but a bag of groceries. He cradled her as he had been taught in the academy and practiced regularly with his coworkers. But he thought of the wedding he always had dreamed about. How he would be cheesy, and he wanted nothing more than to carry her over the threshold of wherever they resided.

It wasn’t soft or pretty that way, but holding her then...

Well, it was better than any threshold he could have dreamed of.

--

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[bairdthereader]

Nick gets a lot of (well-deserved) credit for being an amazing boyfriend to Charlie, and we know by now that he's a great friend, too. But what's almost more interesting to me is the underlying core personality trait that enables him to be both of those things--his emotional intuition and intelligence.

You see this in the comics mostly through Nick's facial expressions (no one can look worried like Nick Nelson can), but the show takes it a bit further. He's incredibly in tune with Charlie almost from the get-go. Nick watches him for small emotional cues and recognizes what they could mean, most notably before the confrontation with Ben after rugby practice. He reads between the lines of Charlie's deflections and falsely cheerful texts and pushes (with trademark Nick Nelson sensitivity) for the truth. He notices when Charlie is beset with intrusive thoughts, even if he doesn't know (at least early on) what they're about, and proceeds to interrupt those thoughts. He can read Charlie so well not only because he pays attention, real attention, but because he already has the emotional intuition required to interpret Charlie's inner complexities.

There are many moments throughout the show where we see Nick display this keen insight with everyone in his life, not just Charlie. When Elle, who he barely knows at this point, is upset about being set up with Tao, he immediately seeks to alleviate her distress by offering a true explanation of why she and Tao were invited in the first place--to be part of a triple date. He wants Elle to know that it was important to him (and Charlie, Tara, and Darcy) that she and Tao be there not just to try to set them up, but because they wanted to include them in an important step for both couples (Nick and Charlie just beginning to share their relationship, and Tara and Darcy trying to find acceptance after coming out as a couple). Nick knows that Elle values truth and honesty, and he gives her that so she can feel comfortable with her friends again.

Nick is also incredibly understanding of Tao, who, it has to be said, barely even understands himself for much of the show. There are a lot of scenes where Nick is trying to connect with Tao but maybe oversteps just a tad because he sees more of Tao than Tao is ready to have seen. The moment outside Charlie's house when Tao tells Nick about Elle's art college ambitions, Nick cuts through to the heart of the matter--Tao's concern about missing Elle if she's far away. Nick is the first person in the friend group to connect the dots about what Elle's college acceptance might mean for Tao, and immediately tries to help Tao process those feelings. He's met with anger, but only because he managed to hit a lightning bolt of a nerve in Tao's emotional storm.

And of course there's Imogen, who Nick has known for a long time but begins to understand and appreciate on a deeper level as their relationship moves from superficial connection to true friendship. He sees how sensitive she is, how lonely in some ways, and is always looking out for her, keeping a concerned eye on her. He gives her the space she requests, but also comfort when she lets her walls down enough to ask for it. His innate understanding of what people need--especially when what they need is just someone to be there--is impeccable.

It almost goes without saying, but Nick's emotional wavelength with his mom is similarly strong and nuanced. When Nick comes out to Sarah, he makes sure she understands how important it is to him that she knows--not only that she knows that he's bi, or that Charlie is his boyfriend, but that she knows him. That their relationship is so important to him that he can overcome his fears to share this most vital part of himself. Nick's value of Sarah extends to caring for her when she's dealing with the stress of having his dad and David around. Of course, Nick is still a teenager and there are a lot of scenes that show Sarah's deft handling of Nick's emotions, but it's a two-way street. Nick takes care of her in his own way too.

Nick starts his relationship with Tara and Darcy leaning on them for advice and guidance, but by the end of the show they're leaning on him. Nick sees their struggles, especially Tara's, possibly more clearly than anyone else does because he recognizes some similarities between their situation and his with Charlie. When they're in trouble, he knows Tara needs care and honest advice, even if it's not the most comforting advice. He knows that what they both need is strength and security and tries, in his careful way, to give them those things.

Nick Nelson, always looking out for everyone he loves, keeping them safe as much as he can, hugging them when he can't.

[cynthiav06]

I feel like Percy and Annabeth’s goals for the future don’t line up. Percy never struck me as the type to want to go to uni, and if he did he would 100% hate marine bio. In Chalice he’s complaining about having tons of chemistry homework, when studying marine science at uni means you have to do LOTS of chem. He says that he needs to study so he can go to college and be with Annabeth, but it’s never about what he personally will get out of it, just him not wanting to be separated from her. Doesn’t seem like a healthy dynamic in the long run.

Terribly sorry for the late response. Hopefully, this meets your expectations.

You are preaching to the choir at this point. Everyone and their mother, at least everyone who is not blind, is aware of how one-sided the goals of their relationship are.

If you observe not only is this the case with their goals but is a recurring pattern with all of Percy's opinions where either he doesn't voice them or Annabeth is dismissive of his opinions.

Almost all the problems with their relationship arise with how Percy doesn't voice his opinions and goes along with whatever Annabeth asks. And Annaebeth also assumes that only her own opinions count, and since Percy is a bit less knowledgeable than her, he has no opinions.

Despite Percy being a far better strategist than Annabeth and arguably smarter Annabeth almost never gives him the proper credit he deserves.

She is always either openly or subtly degrading his intelligence on literally no basis.

Annabeth is also extremely overbearing about studies towards Percy and openly condescending. When time comes for them to actually go to college, Percy easily gets a better grade than Annabeth, and she insinuates how seaweed brain is a substitute to some degree of the word dumb.

And if people still doubt that Percy has different ideas about his future, they only need to read Chalice of the gods. He is clearly fed up by the studies and the college schedule and isn't very intent on going to college, especially since Estelle is due soon, and he wants to first and foremost remain with Sally, Paul and Estelle his family.

Percy has time and again highlighted that if it were up to him, he would choose to do whatever he pleases at his leisure, which has very little to do with studies. Even in the case of marine biology, I second the opinion that he wouldn't enjoy it. Partially because Percy hates the objectification of aquatic creatures. He can't stand aquariums, and he is most definitely not going to enjoy the study and dissection of marine creatures.

Also, Percy, being ready to drop everything to move to New Rome, is completely out of character and literally illogical on Rick's part.

Annabeth has also repeatedly made known that she wishes to be involved at the centre of all things godly I.e more quests and wishes to pursue her interests more so than anything which is directly the inverse of Percy wanting a complete vacation and zero stress.

All in all, not only are Percy and Annabeth's goals opposite and incompatible, we can repeatedly see only Percy trying to make some compromise while Annabeth's hubris blinds her.

It's clear that they will never see eye to eye on many important things that make a relationship, and blind percabeth stans need to accept it.

[dyaz-stories]

don't get cut on my edges || gojo satoru x reader

synopsis: Gojo is easily bored, you're the latest enigma that's caught his interest. He sets off in trying to figure you out. Lucky for him, you're coming on the week-end trip Shoko's planned for the week-end.

“Was I off script?”

You look up at him.

“You’re always off script.”

word count: 5.4k

genre: college!AU, fluff, slice of life

cw: unresolved sexual and romantic tension, reader has anxiety and is socially awkward, she/her is used for the reader, a little suggestive, overall very sweet and fluffy

a/n: this was fun to write! any feedback is appreciated, and i hope you enjoy my writing here :)

soundtrack

Gojo knows that people talk, knows that they talk shit, knows that there isn’t a soul on campus that doesn’t have an opinion on him. He can tell that eyes follow him around when he walks into a room, that his presence is enough to shift the atmosphere at a gathering, that some people roll their eyes at him while others try their best to catch his attention. It’s a lot to take in, for just one person.

Fortunately, he’s proved to be incredibly gifted in the art of not giving a fuck.

Then again, he’s incredibly gifted in most areas of life. Truth be told, he thinks people aren’t giving him enough credit for that. Sure, they tend to know that he’s a physics major, but that’s just tangential to what they know about the rest of him. He’s not just kinda good at physics, not some dude that goes to college mostly for the parties and then get a meaningless job at daddy’s company, no, he’s the fucking best, and he works fucking hard to be able to claim that title.

But that doesn’t really fit in with the rest of him, and at the end of the day, who cares? He certainly doesn’t.

With all that, it’s not statistically unlikely for him to catch people talking about him.

Well, he’d have to conduct a detailed study to calculate the exact odds, but with how much alcohol is in his blood at this very moment, it makes sense to him that it would happen.

Still, for people to be talking about him at a party he is at, in front of an open window, you’d think they would have some sense of shame. Not that he has any room to talk, because shame is not part of his vocabulary, but like. Come on.

“Gojo really can’t take not being in the spotlight for more than ten seconds, huh?”

That voice, he’s quick to identify, even if he can’t see her face from where’s he’s standing under the porch, belongs to Mei Mei. Aw. Bummer. They’d spent quite a lot of time around each other, have friends in common, slept— Wait, have they slept together? He can’t say for sure anymore. It seems to have slipped from his mind. Oops. Maybe that’s why he’s getting that treatment. Maybe he deserves it.

There’s a scoff, and really, the acoustic of this place are impressive. It feels like he’s straight in the room with those people.

“What else do you expect from someone who’s always had everything served to him on a silver platter?”

And that would be Noritoshi Kamo. Man. That was one of the few kids in the families his parents insisted on frequenting. They used to be sat next to each other at the kiddie table while the adults talked about the important stuff. They never had much in common — not then, not now. And, after all, maybe Noritoshi has a point, after all. His mother wasn’t a mistress, wasn’t turned into an outcast, and he’s never had to pretend he didn’t hear the loud whispers that tarnished her name. Yeah. Sounds like these two aren’t saying anything new after all. Not that he’s gonna change, y’know, but he already knows who he is, and he is all that.

“That seems like a very mean thing to say about a friend,” a quiet voice comments.

The world freezes.

A silhouette appears to go along with the voice, then a blurry face, then the picture becomes clearer. A figure sitting next to Shoko, giving him sweet, polite smiles when he approaches. Not chatty, kinda shy, pretty cute. Would get quiet when he was near, though, so he hadn’t paid a ton of attention. He’s used to giving it to people who asked for it, who wanted it.

You’d never asked.

But you’re… not wrong. He’s not sure why he hadn’t picked up on it himself. It is a mean thing to say.

“Don’t get me wrong,” Mei Mei protests, “I love Gojo, but you know I’m right about this.”

“Yeah, and I’ve known him my whole life,” Kamo adds. “It’s just a fact, we’re not talking shit.”

There’s a silence. Gojo’s invested now.

“I don’t know him that well,” you say. “Like I said. It’s just a mean thing to say about someone you hang out with every day.”

“Come on, don’t act like—”

“I think I’m going to go, actually,” you say. “This feels super shitty.”

“What the fuck was that?” Mei Mei laughs, just a second later — presumably after you’ve left the room.

“She wants to fuck him, I guess,” Kamo says.

Well, you’re making one hell of a headway then, because he’d do you so hard after that.

When he walks back in, you’re chatting with Shoko. You give him your usual, close-lipped smile, don’t quite make eye-contact. If you’re trying to get in his pants, you have a very original way of getting it done.

“Who was your friend again?” he asks Shoko, later that night. She answers without looking up from her phone.

“She doesn’t talk much when there are new people around,” she warns him. “Leave her alone.”

“When have I ever bothered anyone—”

She reaches to smack the back of his head, misses and gets the nape of his neck — that’s the downside about being so tall, there’s just a lot of him to hit.

“Don’t make her uncomfortable. That’s all I’m asking.”

He wasn’t planning on that. He’s just— curious. Intrigued.

It’s unlikely to last, though. He’s been known to get bored easily.

You’re already in the car when he gets in. Well, okay, when he gets shoved inside by Todo, despite his protests that his legs are too long for the backseat. You’ve squeezed yourself in the middle seat, with Shoko on one side, and him on the other now. There’s a bag of snacks in your lap, yet you still try to shift yourself to give him a little more room. It doesn’t help at all, but in your defense, the only thing that could help would be to buy a new car.

“Is everyone ready?” Suguru asks as he adjusts the rearview mirror.

“Sure,” Shoko says.

“Let’s go!” Todo shouts.

“No,” Gojo whines.

“Yeah,” you say, completely drowned out under the rest.

“Good,” Suguru hums as he starts the engine.

Gojo pouts, but he doesn’t insist. Well, he doesn’t make any more of a scene than he already has. Truth be told, he could have taken Todo — dude might be all brute force, but Gojo has brains and brawns, thank you very much.

But he’s curious, still, and he hasn’t been given enough information to quite satiate his curiosity. Everything he’s gathered about you says that you mind your business and keep to your corner.

So why did you say that to Mei Mei and Kamo? It makes no sense, but Gojo’s never met an equation he couldn’t solve.

That’s an overstatement. Obviously there are equations he can’t solve. Yet. He’s sure he’d figure it out eventually. Like he’ll figure you out. See? That metaphor does make sense.

Suguru’s music is playing in the car. The sun is still low in the sky, the day is quickly getting warmer, and the phone says that they’ll be at the beach in two hours.

Satoru closes his eyes. Fun fact about him? He can fall asleep anywhere he wants to.

He wakes up with his face smooshed against the window, a hand tapping his shoulder carefully.

“We’re here,” you say, giving him a smile and then shuffling to leave the car from the other side.

Todo’s already running towards the beach, while Suguru and Shoko are getting the bags out of the trunk. Somehow, Shoko manages to sling a bag over his shoulder, but he takes off before she can stuff the cool box containing all the drinks in his arms.

He then lies to Todo to get him back to the car, so that he can carry the damn thing. Shoko better thank him later for that.

He catches up with you, and he sees your eyes widen a little when he approaches, as you visibly search for something to say. He can’t resist the temptation to shoot you a grin. There’s a light breeze in the air, but he won’t be fooled that easily — with his skin, he’s going to need an insane amount of sunscreen, if he wants to survive the day. Which makes him think, actually—

“Wanna help me apply sunscreen?” he asks.

“Huh?” you say.

He leans towards you, looks into your eyes from over his sunglasses. You appear to be fully frozen in place, only swallowing once as he gets closer. His grin gets wider as he takes in all of you, and he’s once more fascinated by the idea that you had been able to say something to Mei Mei and Kamo but you can barely face him.

His gaze drops to your parted lips.

Then the bottle of sunscreen smashes against his cheek with impressive precision.

“Todo can help you put that on!” Shoko offers as Suguru starts setting up a parasol. “Right, Todo?”

“Of course I will, my brother,” Todo say as he appears, but by then, Satoru has already started running for his life.

“Just kick him in the balls if he pulls something like that again,” Shoko says.

“Oh, no, it’s fine,” you reply, shaking your head in mild horror. “I just— I don’t— know— how to react sometimes. But he doesn’t bother me.”

That statement has her raising an eyebrow at you, filled with doubt, but she doesn’t insist.

“Play nice,” she does warn Satoru once more, later on. “Don’t push it too much.”

“Aw, Shoko, are you saying you wouldn’t approve of me?”

“Do whatever you want to,” she replies, rolling her eyes, “but give her more space. She’s not used to you being… you.”

Satoru rests his chin on his knee. He’s taking refuge under the parasol for now, and you’re already in the waves with Todo and Suguru. You seem comfortable with Todo, laughing at something he said, less so with Suguru. It all looks like a lot of work, all to satiate his curiosity. He’s all about committing to the bit but— he doesn’t know about that one.

This, too, all this thinking and questioning, is a lot of work, though, so he ends up shrugging it off.

“Are we getting in or what?”

“Absolutely not. No— Gojo— Don’t you fucking dare— Gojo!”

Shoko’s full-on shrieking by the time he throws her in the water. You burst out laughing. She comes out screaming for revenge, and Gojo starts scampering around to try and avoid her.

The sun is high in the sky, there’s a light breeze.

The time is good.

“Satoru!” Suguru calls when the watch on his wrist starts beeping, “it’s been two hours!”

It takes a second for the information to reach his brain, but the second he understands it, Gojo’s sprinting back towards the parasol at full speed. You look up, surprised, from the towel on which you’re lying with a book. Shoko doesn’t even bother with lifting an eyelid to see what’s going on.

“You okay?” you ask.

Ah, so she does speak.

“Yeah,” Gojo says, ruffling through a bag. “Just need to reapply some sunscreen. I’m not trying to look like a lobster.”

“Oh,” you say, “so, did you want me to help you with that?”

His fingers finally close around the bottle, and he stills to look at you. Shit. He’s curious again. Shoko’s words are swirling around in his mind, though, and he has no interest in forcing your hand.

“You didn’t look like you wanted to do that,” he says with uncharacteristic caution.

You roll your lips together, glance away from him, and your hand curls into a fist in the sand.

“No, it’s just— Um, I’m sorry about earlier. You— caught me off guard, I guess. I couldn’t figure out what to answer.”

“I usually just go with whatever appears through my head first,” he shrugs as he comes to crouch in front of you — you in the sun, him in the shade.

You laugh softly, but you avert your eyes, focusing on the sand as you trace patterns in it.

“Yeah, I think that’s the preferred method, but it— doesn’t— really work for me. So I have— I have a script, kind of, for interactions.”

“And I was off script?”

You glance back up at him.

“You’re always off script.”

For a moment, he just looks into your eyes, and you look back without any of that earlier nervousness. Then you shrink back into yourself, and the smile that so rarely leaves your lips reappears, like a shield that comes back up.

“Sorry. I know— I know how silly this sounds. I also wish I didn’t feel the need to do that, I just, um—”

“All good,” he replies with a shrug. “Sure. Help me with that.”

He throws you the bottle and you miss it, and he can feel you eyerolling at his back without needing to turn around, but when he shoots you a grin from over his shoulder, he can see how your breath catches in your throat.

Softly, your hand goes over his back, your touch gentle and cautious. It feels quite nice, actually, especially when your nails brush over his skin.

“It’s not too cold?” you ask.

“All good,” he repeats.

Shit. He’s invested again.

“Okay, we have the tickets, we have the water bottles, we have the hats, we have flat shoes, we have Gojo, we have the car keys—”

“I’m sorry, why was I just in the middle of a list of belongings?”

“We have cellphones and portable batteries… I think we’re good,” Shoko concludes, fully ignoring him.

“You don’t think we’re just a touch overprepared?” Suguru asks.

“You can never overprepare, my brother,” Todo says, grabbing his shoulder firmly. “If you want to triumph in the face of adversity, you need to know everything about the enemy.”

Suguru opens his mouth, closes it again. He knows how to pick his battles.

Gojo doesn’t.

“We’re going to a festival, not trying to breech the Pentagon,” he deadpans, and then, from the corner of his eye, he tries to see if you’re laughing. He delights in how you lower your head and try to keep it discreet.

“You never know what—”

“If I have to hear a second more of this nonsense, I swear to God I’ll kill someone here,” Shoko announces cheerfully. “Let’s move.”

Finally, after a good fifteen minutes by the door of the Airbnb you’ve all spent the night in, you start moving.

The good news is that you don’t have to get in the car, in the smothering heat, to get on the overcrowded streets packed full with the cars of the other attendees. The bad news is that you have to walk there, in the smothering heat, near the streets packed full with the cars of the other attendees. Suguru’s in charge of the map, which everyone seems happy with. Gojo had offered to do it, too, and there’s not a shred of doubt that he’d be able to read it competently, but Shoko had insisted the risk of him taking everyone to the wrong place ‘just because it would be funny’ was too high.

She’d been right but like, that was still rude.

The march in the heat and the waiting in line, while painful and unpleasant, as Gojo makes sure everyone around him is well aware of, go pretty smooth. Everything is planned and accounted for. There’s a game plan once they make it into the festival, too, because of course there is, but that’s when things start going south. First, Todo tries to go rogue when he spots someone wearing Takada merch. She’s not performing here, but he’s heard rumors that there would be a stand for her, and he lurches towards the woman. He’d get lost in the crowd immediately if not for Gojo’s lightning fast reflexes.

Unfortunately, soon enough it’s Gojo’s turn to get distracted. What can he say, there’s the smell of sugar in the air, and he needs to know where it’s coming from. Suguru’s the one to get him back on track, as they all head towards the main stage. Because that’s what Shoko’s grand plan leads to: sweet, sweet, close-up spots to watch the Sorcerers, headliners for the festival and also unarguably greatest band of all times, with minimum wait before their show.

There are a couple other close calls, but the group manages to get close enough to the stage. There are people here already, but they’re here for other artists mostly, and they’ll no doubt move quite a bit before the start of the real show. From where they are, even you and Shoko will be able to— Wait a minute.

“Huh,” Gojo say. “Hey, Shoko, do you happen to see (y/n) around?”

“If you can’t see her from up there, why would you think I— Fuck.”

“A fallen soldier,” Todo sighs somberly. “Sometimes, you have to make sacrifices for—"

“We should go get her,” Shoko interrupts him. She’s biting her lower lip, staring at her phone. She looks quite worried, Gojo notices as he stares at her.

“Why isn’t it enough to just text her?” Gojo asks. It’s not ideal, and it won’t be easy to find the group in the middle of this sea of people, but it’s not impossible.

“I just— I don’t know if she’ll want to deal with all that” she gestures at the crowd “alone. I’m afraid she’ll say she doesn’t mind and then she won’t have a good time.”

Gojo tilts his head. It wouldn’t cross his mind to say something he doesn’t mean. It’s an incredibly weird thought, actually. But Shoko’s better than him at, well, people, and she might have a point. He also doesn’t want you to have a bad time, after all. With one last glance at the stage, he nods at her.

“I’ll go get her.”

“Are you sure?” Suguru asks. “I can go, if you want me to. It’s your band.”

As if it isn’t his, too. But Gojo shrugs. His attention span is fleeting, and he’s got his sights on something else right now.

“Nah, don’t worry. I’ll make it back.”

“Thanks,” Shoko says sincerely.

He waves vaguely at her before making his way back through the crowd, earning his fair share of nasty glances. He still doesn’t care.

A few minutes later, he receives a text from Shoko with a screengrab where you say you’re getting something to eat. Sure enough, he has no trouble finding you waiting in line. You’re typing on your phone, not paying attention to your surroundings, and he’s grinning already. He lets himself half fall on you, arm wrapping around your body as he drops his chin onto your shoulder. You jump, glancing back bewildered, but you don’t stay tense long once you see it’s him.

Which makes him feel things, actually, but he’ll unpack that later.

“What are you doing here?” you ask, brow furrowing. “I thought you guys would be in front of the stage by now.”

“I came to rescue the princess, obviously,” he says, and you laugh. You laugh a lot when he talks, instead of rolling your eyes like people usually do.

Maybe you’re a bit too good of an audience.

“I don’t need rescuing, Gojo,” you answer, and it’s interesting how calm your voice is. “It’s packed too tight for me in here. I told Shoko but…” You shrug. “It’s not always easy to understand how it is. For me.”

“Yeah,” he says. “I don’t get it at all.”

Your shoulder’s pretty comfortable, though. And you haven’t tried to get him off of you yet.

“Do you want to order something, too?” you ask, pointing at the food stand. They sell waffles, and just the smell has his mouth watering. “Strawberries and whipped cream, right?”

Gojo pauses.

“How do you know that?”

“You’ve mentioned it. A few times, actually.”

He’s sure he has, but—

“You were listening to that?”

You blink at him. He realizes how close your face is, with his head on your shoulder.

“Of course I was. You were talking.”

“Shoko didn’t tell you? It’s like, rule number one of being around me, don’t listen to the stuff I say. There’s a lot of dumb shit in there.”

You tilt your head, looking kind of confused.

“I still want to hear what you’re saying.”

Something inside him feels warm all of a sudden. Very warm.

“Yeah,” he says, but his throat is tight. “Strawberries and whipped cream.”

When you step forward to they can take your order, he begrudgingly gets off your shoulder, which allows him to swipe his card before you can get to it.

“I had that,” you protest while he bites into the insane amount of whipped cream in his waffle — he asked for more until the guy behind the counter looked like he was going to murder him.

“I had it first,” he says, and then he sticks his tongue out at you. He anticipates your laugh this time, finds himself waiting on it. When it comes, it sounds just like he wanted it to.

For a while, the two of you sit on a fence. You hand him a water bottle, say that he needs to stay hydrated. With no one else around, you don’t seem to have such a hard time speaking. You’re so quiet when everyone’s there and, well, him and Todo take up a lot of space, when it comes to conversation. Neither Suguru nor Shoko struggle with making their voices heard either, and in the middle of all that, you tend to stay silent. Apparently, that doesn’t stop you from listening.

“Shouldn’t you be going back?” you ask, after a while.

Gojo tilts his head as he thinks about it.

“Nah, I’m good. Let’s find some place where you can enjoy the show.”

“You don’t have to—”

A grin, and then he’s jumping from the fence to come stand in front of you. Even like that, he doesn’t have to look up to meet your eyes.

“And how d’you plan on stopping me?”

Your eyes go wide. He can almost hear your heart racing, and he thinks he’s starting to get a little too high on that feeling. It’s just so easy, so fun, so delicious.

“Okay,” you squeak, averting your eyes and jumping down after him, clearly trying to hide your reaction. “Okay, I’m coming.”

When you start walking by his side, grabbing your hand is just too easy not to do it.

“Wouldn’t want you to run away again,” is what he says as he intertwines his fingers with yours. “Now you’re stuck with me.”

You still refuse to look at him, but there is no actual discomfort in your reaction, just what he thinks is uncertainty about how you’re supposed to behave now.

“Have I gone off script again?” he practically purrs.

You glance up, a flash of amusement on your face. Lots of fondness, too, and this time he’s the one who gets caught up in it.

“You haven’t been on script once today.”

“Good,” he says, managing to pass off the emotion that just choked him for a second there as impatience. “Someone’s got to keep you on your toes.”

“I’m always on my toes,” you mumble behind him, but you can’t explain to him what anxiety feels like, so you just let him drag you away. His fingers are long, his hand engulfs yours easily. You like the feeling of it more than you should.

Your eyes are on Gojo’s broad back as he pulls you through the crowd, which parts effortlessly for him. You’re enjoying this.

You don’t think it’s going to last.

Gojo doesn’t think about that though, just like he rarely thinks about tomorrows. What he’s thinking about, as he keeps far, far away from the stage, is how to find a place with enough air around for the two of you. It’s easy for him to get a good look at the stage, and he earns his fair share of pissed off glares — “Seriously, it should be illegal to come to an open-air stage when you’re that tall” — but it takes more work to get the perfect space for you. Finally, his eagle eyes figure out some place that’s just perfect, and he beelines for it with you in tow.

“There,” he says, pulling you in front of him and putting his head on top of yours, just to check that the line of sight is good enough.

Ha. He nailed it.

“Thanks,” you say. There’s surprise in your tone.

“Is this a good spot for you?” he checks, but really, he just wants to hear you praise him?

“It is, but— I thought you said you didn’t get it? My—” You gesture vaguely. “—struggle. With all that stuff.”

Oh right. You actually listen to what he says. He needs to keep that in mind for the future.

“Does it matter?” he asks with a shrug.

You stare. You open your mouth to speak, but no words come out, and then the crowd starts absolutely howling and you spin around to see the Sorcerersget on the stage. Whatever moment there was there, is forgotten right away. He sees you fish in your bag for your phone, then raise it over your head and tiptoe around, trying to get a good photo.

It’s cute, it’s adorable even, but it’s not very efficient.

“Do you want some help here?” he asks, leaning close to your ear so you can hear him over all the noise.

Your body shivers into him, and he files that away for later.

“Um, yeah,” you shout over the noise. “Here, could you—”

But he pays no attention to the way you offer him your cellphone, and instead he’s bending down, and ignoring your surprised protest as he pushes his head between your legs.

He bench presses a hell of a lot more than he looks like he does, for the record.

With a grunt, he manages to get you up on his shoulders, and some people behind him complain loudly, but whatever, they can wait for you to get the perfect picture. You struggle to stabilize yourself for a dangerous second, and then you stop moving around for a second. Your thighs are supple and warm under his hands and around his head.

One more thing to remember.

“I’m good, I’m good, get me down,” you say quickly, just as he’s storing the thought away.

You seem relieved when your feet get back on the ground, and Satoru lets his hands linger on your waist.

“Was it a nice pic?” he asks. He knows he’s all red in the face, but he’s grinning so wide it almost hurts, actually.

“Perfect,” you squeak. “Thank you. Again.”

Aw. He’s going to get used to that word real quick.

A familiar guitar riff comes from the stage, and you turn away from him once more, but his hands are still on your waist. He uses that to pull you against him and this time, you don’t hesitate to let yourself lean back against him as the two of you move in rhythm with the music.

The concert is a blur after that. There’s a lot of singing, a lot of screaming, basically no time to catch a breath, because the Sorcerers are fucking beasts that don’t let up, not even for a second. At some point, you tell him something, but he can’t really hear, so you crane your neck back and he lowers his head. Your lips brush against his neck, an accident really, but it sends such a jolt of electricity through him, he thinks he’ll go into full overdrive.

The only thing that stops him from chasing after your lips immediately after that is Shoko’s voice, going around in his mind. ‘Don’t push it.’ What the fuck was that supposed to mean?

You move away, and he still has no clue what you were saying. If after that, his hands hold your hips a little tighter, if he pulls you a little closer, he can’t be blamed. If, during one of the more sulfurous song of the show, as you’re swaying against him, humming along to the song, his lips find your neck, he doesn’t want to hear about it.

When he presses a kiss right by your jaw, you turn to look at him. You’re pretty. He’s always thought you were pretty.

Fuck Shoko, he thinks, and he’s ready to put his mouth on yours, to slide his tongue between your parted lips that have looked so inviting this entire week-end, when the riff of the band’s most popular song starts playing, and he loses you attention once more.

Cock-blocked by his favorite band. Fuck his life.

When the song ends, there’s movement in the crowd as the band gets off the stage and people start chanting for an encore. In Shoko’s fool proof, perfect plan, this is when you’re supposed to start leaving. Gojo doesn’t want to — how is he supposed to do anything about how much he wants his mouth on you once you’re back with the other — but this time you grab his hand and pull him away from the stage and he has even less of a clue of what he’s supposed to do about that.

You get to the meeting point before Shoko, Todo and Suguru, which makes sense, considering you were much further from the stage than them. It’s a specific pole that Shoko had pointed to as you were first getting in, and the urge to push you against it and to taste your lips is strong. Gojo isn’t typically one to ignore that kind of feeling. He just goes for it, doesn’t let his brain get in the way too much. He’s not sure what it is with you and your doe eyes and your sweet smile that makes him act different.

Whatever it is, it makes him ask “Did you have a good time?” instead of kissing you senseless behind the pole while watching to make sure Shoko doesn’t catch him in the act.

“It was amazing,” you say. “I don’t think— I don’t think I’d have gotten that close without you.”

“Did I force your hand?” he asks, frowning.

“No, no, that was great, actually.” And there it comes, his favorite words, and then he’ll kiss you. “Thank—”

“There you guys are!”

You have got to be kidding him. The Gods of timing are so set against him, he must have done something to piss them off badly in another life.

“Okay, we should start heading towards the exit,” Shoko announces.

“Nah, we ‘re staying until the end,” Gojo says, burying his hands, balled into fists, in his pockets. He’s being needlessly belligerent, but whatever, she deserves it, whether she knows it or not.

“Don’t be a dick,” she glares.

He smiles at her. And he doesn’t budge.

“We’ll run,” you say, stepping in. “I’m sure we can still beat the crowd if we run.”

She narrows her eyes at you, then at Gojo.

“You’re a bad influence, you know that?”

So many delicious thoughts coming to him, and he can’t do anything about it. Damn it all.

Of course, it ends with the five of you sprinting on the lawn and all the way back to the house. Of course, he doesn’t catch five seconds with you after that. Of course, your face is on his mind the whole night.

Of course, because it’s just his luck, isn’t it, in the morning, Shoko tells him you had to catch a flight early in the morning.

“I told you, don’t you remember? She’s going back to her family for the summer.”

Of course, he doesn’t.

Ah, whatever. It bothers him for a minute, but then the day continues unfolding, and the sun’s warm, it’s the peak of summer, and he only really knew you for a couple of days. He’ll see how he feels about it when college starts up again in the fall. He’s not known for sticking with things, anyway. He’ll probably forget; you probably won’t capture him again like you did; it was probably a fluke.

That, or these will become famous last words.

sequel

thank you so much for reading! i had a ton of fun writing gojo's pov and i hope you enjoyed it too, even if i'm still finding his voice :) please reblog or comment if you've enjoyed this, i'd love to hear from you! getting readers' feedback on my writing is what keeps me motivated to write so if you'd like to read more from me, that's the way to do it!

tagging the people who expressed interest in this: @elidebrey @xstom @chosospookiebear @xmysticredx

[pandapetals]

Matchmaker

You and Logan play matchmaker to help set Rogue up with Remy.

professor logan howlett x professor fem!reader - married couple, cute, fluff, teasing, no y/n used, no reader description, your an english professor, logan is a history professor - imagine days of future past logan with the white streaks in his hair

read on ao3 or find more parts for the series: here

divider credit: @enchanthings

You knew the look of longing when you saw it, and today, it was written all over Rogue’s face as she stood at the large window, staring wistfully out at the courtyard. The guys were playing basketball, their shirts off, sweat gleaming in the afternoon sun.

"Admiring someone?" you teased, breaking the silence and causing Rogue to jump, her face flushing as if she’d been caught red-handed.

"N-No," she stammered at first, trying to recover her composure, but then she sighed heavily and glanced over at you. "Yeah, alright. I can’t help it when Remy has his shirt off." Her eyes flicked back to the window, her expression filled with the kind of quiet yearning you knew all too well.

You chuckled, joining her at the window. "Can’t say I blame you. I mean, look at him." You glanced outside just in time to see Remy make a flashy play, grinning like he owned the world as he jogged past Logan, who was giving him an unimpressed look.

"Then again..." you added with a playful smirk, your eyes wandering to your husband. Logan’s broad muscles flexed as he grabbed the ball, his hair a mess from sweat, a rough, effortless confidence radiating off of him. "Logan’s not so bad himself."

Rogue groaned, covering her face with her hands. "Please don’t mention Logan. It’s bad enough his out there shirtless too."

You laughed, nudging her playfully with your elbow. "Sorry." You paused, lowering your voice with a teasing smile. "Why don’t you do something about it?"

Rogue blushed even deeper, shaking her head. "I don’t know… Remy’s such a flirt. I can’t tell if he’s serious or if he’s just messing around. Even if he was serious, how would it even work with me?" She looked down at her gloved hands, her usual doubt creeping in.

You sighed, turning toward her fully. "You won’t know unless you give it a shot. Trust me, I think Remy’s a lot more serious about you than you realize. The guy can barely keep his eyes off you."

She bit her lip, still unsure. "I don’t know…"

A mischievous thought struck you, and you grinned. "You know," you said, crossing your arms, "Logan and I could help with this. Play a little matchmaker."

Rogue blinked at you, wide-eyed. "You’re serious?"

"Absolutely," you said with a nod, your grin widening. "Logan’s a little grumpy, but he’s got a good eye for people. Between the two of us, we could probably nudge Remy in the right direction."

Later that evening, after the basketball game had ended and Logan had showered, you caught him lounging on the couch, looking as relaxed as he ever did. His hair was still damp, and he had a cold beer in hand, eyes half-closed as if he was settling in for the evening.

"Hey, tough guy," you started casually, sitting down beside him and nudging his leg with your foot.

Logan cracked one eye open, looking over at you with a raised brow. "What’s up, darlin’?"

You gave him your best innocent smile. "You know Rogue’s been pining after Remy, right?"

He grunted, taking a sip of his beer. "I’m not blind."

"Well," you continued, trying to sound nonchalant, "I was thinking we could… help them out. Give ‘em a little push."

Logan raised an eyebrow, setting his beer down on the coffee table. "Help them out? How? By what? Playin' Cupid?"

You grinned. "Exactly."

Logan stared at you for a moment, completely unamused. "No."

"Oh, come on," you pressed, leaning in closer. "Rogue’s a sweetheart, and she deserves someone good in her life. You’ve got that big soft heart under all those layers of gruffness. You’d be a great matchmaker!"

Logan grumbled something under his breath, his expression hardening. "I ain't no matchmaker. That's your department."

"But you’ve got the perfect in," you insisted. "You and Remy play cards together all the time. You just have to, you know, mention how Rogue’s been asking about him. Or how you think they’d make a good couple."

He let out a deep sigh, rubbing a hand over his face. "You really think Gambit’s gonna listen to me ? The guy thinks he’s God’s gift to women. He doesn't need advice from some ‘old man,’ as he calls me."

You smirked. "I think you underestimate your influence, Logan. You have a lot of wisdom from being old—older. I mean you do act old sometimes."

Logan shot you a sideways glance, his lips twitching as if he was trying not to smile. "I don’t act old," he grumbled.

"Logan, you grumble about kids using their phones like it's the apocalypse," you teased, leaning into his side. "That’s classic ‘old man’ behavior."

He huffed a laugh, shaking his head. "Alright, alright. Fine. But if Gambit gives me lip, I'm tellin' him to take a hike."

The next day, you found Logan standing with his arms crossed, watching as Remy effortlessly flicked a card through the air, showing off his usual flair. The two men were supposed to be preparing for a mission, but as usual, Remy seemed more interested in flirting with everything that moved—including the wind.

"You got somethin' on your mind, mon ami ?" Remy asked with a cocky grin, spinning the card between his fingers.

Logan grunted, clearly uncomfortable. "Just wonderin’ what’s goin' on with you and Rogue."

Remy raised an eyebrow, leaning casually against the wall. "Oh? You keepin’ tabs on my love life now, old man?"

Logan bristled. "I ain’t keepin' tabs on nothin'. Just sayin'... you and Rogue. Might be worth... y’know, takin' seriously."

Remy’s grin widened, his eyes gleaming with amusement. "Logan, you tryin' to give me relationship advice? That's rich. What next? You gonna tell me how to impress a lady with charm and sophistication?"

Logan rolled his eyes, fighting the urge to tell Remy exactly where he could shove his charm. "I'm serious, Gambit. Rogue ain't like the others. If you're gonna go after her, do it right."

Remy looked surprised, his usual swagger faltering for a moment. "You really think...?"

Logan gave him a pointed look. "Yeah. I do. Don’t mess it up."

Remy smirked, finally sensing the sincerity beneath Logan’s gruff exterior. "Well, since you’re takin' such an interest, maybe I’ll see where things go."

That evening, you couldn’t stop laughing when Logan relayed the conversation to you, his exasperation clear as he retold how Remy had called him old man at least three times. "Kid’s got a death wish, I swear," Logan muttered, shaking his head.

"But you did it," you said, grinning as you curled up beside him on the couch. "You planted the idea in Remy’s mind."

Logan looked at you, narrowing his eyes. "I ain't doin' it again, though. You want more matchmaking, that’s on you."

You leaned up and kissed his cheek. "Don’t worry, you’ve done your part. Now we just sit back and watch the magic happen."

Logan chuckled softly, pulling you closer with a sigh. "Fine. But if they start gettin' sappy in front of me, I’m blamin' you."

"Deal," you said, laughing into his shoulder.

The next day, you found Rogue sitting by herself on the mansion’s front steps, a deep frown creasing her brow as she picked absentmindedly at the hem of her gloves. You knew that look—Rogue was stuck in her own head, probably overthinking things when it came to Remy.

You sat down beside her, nudging her gently with your shoulder. "So, I talked to Logan," you began, keeping your voice light. "And he, very begrudgingly, brought up the idea of you and Remy to him."

Rogue’s eyes widened in surprise, her cheeks flushing. "Wait—he did ?"

"Yup," you said with a grin. "Apparently, Remy didn’t brush it off like I thought he would. In fact, he seemed… curious."

Rogue fidgeted with her gloves, her gaze dropping to her hands. "I dunno," she mumbled. "Even if he’s curious, I don’t know how to make a move. It’s not like I can just... y’know, kiss him."

You nodded, understanding the hesitation. "True, but there are other ways to show someone you’re interested." You leaned in conspiratorially, your eyes gleaming with mischief. "You could always flirt. A little playful banter goes a long way."

Rogue blinked at you, clearly skeptical. "You want me to flirt with Remy? He’s, like, the king of flirting. How am I supposed to keep up?"

"Trust me," you said, placing a reassuring hand on her arm. "Guys like Remy may flirt with everyone, but it’s different when it’s someone they actually care about. He’s not going to brush you off. And, besides, you have an ace up your sleeve—Logan and I are here to help."

Rogue tilted her head, a small smile tugging at the corner of her lips. "Help? What are you plannin’?"

You grinned, leaning closer. "I’ll give you some pointers on how to flirt."

Later that evening, after much convincing, you managed to rope Logan into your plan. The two of you were hidden behind one of the large hedges in the mansion’s garden, peering out like a couple of high school kids on a covert mission. Logan, who was still skeptical about the whole operation, stood with his arms crossed, grumbling under his breath about "ridiculous ideas" and "not how I planned to spend my night."

You, however, were having the time of your life.

"Alright, where are they?" you whispered, peeking through the leaves, your excitement barely contained.

Logan sighed, his expression caught somewhere between amusement and annoyance. "You’re enjoyin’ this way too much," he muttered, though the corner of his mouth twitched into the faintest of smiles.

"Shh," you hissed playfully, swatting at him. "Look, there they are!"

Sure enough, across the garden, you spotted Rogue and Remy standing near one of the benches, the glow from the mansion’s windows casting a soft light over them. Remy, as usual, was wearing that charming grin of his, leaning casually against the back of the bench as he talked, his body language open and relaxed. Rogue, to her credit, looked composed, though you could tell from the way she kept shifting her weight that she was nervous.

"Look at her," you whispered to Logan, nudging him. "She’s holding her own. I knew she could do it."

Logan glanced over, his arms still crossed. "She’s doin' fine," he agreed, though his tone was more thoughtful than teasing now. "But if that Cajun tries anything, I’m gonna—"

"Logan," you said, giving him a pointed look. "Relax. This is supposed to be fun."

Logan grunted, his eyes narrowing as he watched Remy lean in slightly closer to Rogue. "Fun for who? You or me?"

Before you could respond, you saw Rogue do something unexpected. She laughed—genuinely—and then gave Remy a light shove on the shoulder, a playful grin on her face. It wasn’t much, but it was a start.

"See?" you whispered excitedly. "She’s flirting! They’re flirting! This is going well."

Logan shifted beside you, watching the interaction with a critical eye. "Guess it ain’t goin’ bad," he muttered, though you could tell he was secretly pleased.

As the two of you continued your covert surveillance, you saw Remy pull something out of his jacket. A small, red playing card—his signature move. He handed it to Rogue, saying something that made her laugh again, this time a bit more shyly. You could see the way her face softened, her usual guarded expression slipping just enough to let her true feelings show.

Logan huffed quietly, shaking his head. "Gambit and his damn cards."

You smirked, nudging him again. "You’re jealous that you didn’t think of something cool like that first, aren’t you?"

Logan shot you a look. "Jealous? Of Remy ?" He scoffed, though there was a hint of amusement in his eyes. "Please. The last thing I’d do is pull some magic trick to impress you."

"Yeah?" you teased, leaning closer to him. "What would you do to impress me then?"

Logan paused for a moment, his eyes flicking toward you, that familiar mischievous glint in them. "I’d do somethin' simple," he said, his voice low and teasing. "Like carry you upstairs without breakin' a sweat."

You felt your cheeks heat up at his words, your grin widening. "Well, that does work every time."

Before you could get too lost in the moment, Rogue and Remy suddenly stood up from the bench, starting to walk back toward the mansion. Rogue’s face was flushed, and Remy looked more relaxed than usual, his usual swagger dialed down to something more genuine.

"Oh no," you whispered, tugging on Logan’s sleeve. "They’re heading this way. Let’s go!"

Logan rolled his eyes but followed your lead as you both hurried to duck behind the hedge more securely. You pressed a hand over your mouth, stifling your giggles as you crouched down beside him, feeling more like a teenager than an adult.

As Rogue and Remy passed by, you overheard a snippet of their conversation.

"So, Rogue," Remy said, his voice smooth as ever. "You wanna grab coffee tomorrow? I know a place."

You saw Rogue’s lips curve into a soft smile. "Yeah," she said, her voice almost shy. "I’d like that."

Once they were out of earshot, you couldn’t contain yourself any longer. You turned to Logan, grinning ear to ear. "Did you hear that? She’s going for coffee with him!"

Logan, still crouched beside you, shook his head in disbelief, though there was a small smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. "Yeah, I heard."

"Mission accomplished," you whispered triumphantly, beaming at him.

Logan looked at you, his eyes softening as he stood up, offering you his hand to pull you up from the crouched position. "You’re somethin' else, you know that?"

You grinned, taking his hand and letting him pull you up to your feet. "You helped too," you teased, wrapping your arms around his neck as he pulled you close.

"Yeah, well," he muttered, leaning down to kiss you, his lips brushing softly against yours. "This was all your crazy idea."

You smiled against his lips, feeling the warmth of his embrace as you murmured, "Crazy, but it worked."

Logan chuckled, shaking his head as he pulled back just enough to meet your gaze. "Guess I can’t argue with that."

The two of you stood there, hidden away in the shadows of the garden, watching the spark of something new unfold between Rogue and Remy, you couldn’t help but feel a sense of satisfaction. Sure, it had been a bit ridiculous—spying on them like kids—but sometimes, a little ridiculousness was exactly what was needed to help love along.

[danganfixationronpa]

As a more in-depth continuation of my last post involving Akane Owari... (TW: mentions of sexual assault & body objectification.)

What most of the fandom sees Akane as: That air-headed girl with the big boobs who is obsessed with food and fighting. Pretty much just another Aoi Asahina.

Who Akane *really* is: A strong woman inside and out and who loves food because she realizes how important eating is after years of being homeless with countless younger siblings to take take care of, but she doesn't prioritize food *so* much to the point where she would kill any of her fellow classmates to escape the funhouse.

While not academically smart, she is highly intuitive and actually a lot more aware than people give her credit for.

While short tempered, she cares greatly about her classmates and doesn't tolerate things like murder (yes, she was a remnant of despair, but Kodaka didn't exactly write Class 77b's despair-ridden selves well at all due to putting brainwashing into the equation.) Even somebody she is constantly antagonistic towards like Nagito, she only becomes so antagonistic and violent towards him because he is putting other's lives in danger and "seemingly" showing no remorse for their fallen classmates. Even after she goes into a blind fit of range and nearly strangles him to death, when Chiaki snaps her out of it, she genuinely feels remorse and begs forgiveness.

Was willing to work hard (which is something she dislikes doing), so she could get her and her younger siblings out of the streets.

Is a survivor of sexual assault and objectification from many men in her life, but she sadly doesn't seem to understand the gravity of those situations since she casually talks about her own body in a objectifying way sometimes. But just because she doesn't realize just how serious those situations truly were in hindsight, she is a still a victim of those horrible actions.

Lastly, on a surface level, she and Hina most definitely have similarities. However, they are *far* from the same character. (I'm not going to get into the reasons why cuz this post already went on long enough 😅)

Overall, yes, some of these details are only known when playing through her FTEs, but even putting her backstory aside, all of my other points still stand.

This girl deserves more love and recognition, dammit!

EDIT: Holy, it's only been a couple of hours and this post is already getting so many likes and reblogs! Thanks, everyone! Glad to see others agree.

[tragicvampireromanceisland]

thinking so long and hard about joyness once more…like yesss they are very cute and sweet and all but i think them getting together even after their History is sooo interesting. like, does joy first start hanging out around sadness and talking with her more often out of guilt? is it performative? when does it stop being performative?? and at what point does joy realize it’s stopped being performative? how does joy feel when every single interaction she has with sadness after the events of the first movie are just like…constant reminders of how she screwed up with her prior? liking someone who makes her feel that bad when she normally never lingers on what she's done wrong just seems so counterintuitive (fun fact: joy has literally never genuinely apologized for anything she's done, across both movies. she's acknowledged and fixed her mistakes before, sure, but she has never expressed guilt so straightforwardly like that. is she simply incapable of it? or has she just...never given importance to feeling guilty before so long as she can just Fix her mistake? just something very interesting i've noticed...)!!

like, joy’s canonically admitted that she’s literally tried to kick sadness out of headquarters before. that’s truly how little joy thought of her before she got to know her better…she totally would have been fine with just. never seeing her again. imagine disliking your coworker THAT much since the very first day you met her and now you have feelings for her…?! not a possibility joy ever would have considered, and i think joy would struggle a Lot with coming to terms with that initially. she is the Queen of cognitive dissonance. of being Delusional. it’s HARD to shake off old habits just like that!! joy is someone who very much doesn’t fully acknowledge how she feels until it gets so intense it bubbles up to the surface and breaks through her usual demeanor (we’ve seen that both with how she’s gotten sad and angry before…who’s to say romance would not be the same. i think she’d just keep denying it until she just. has an Ah Shit moment with sadness one day. probably over something completely mundane).

and it certainly doesn’t help that sadness is, well. Sadness! she clearly admires joy from the very beginning even when joy treated her so poorly (knowing her she probably thought she deserved it…sigh). she’d literally just assume absolutely nothing would come out of her feelings. and you know she probably might even romanticize and Enjoy it in a weird way…i mean think about it. she canonically likes sad romance novels…this is her own "tragic romance" (apparently. SUPPOSEDLY) so i think she’d kind of insistently cling to that. define their entire relationship as unrequited and reallyyy lean into it and warp anything that happens otherwise to fit her little Doomed Yuri vision. she's observant as hell for pretty much everything, normally, but she just has goddamn Horse Blinders on for just this one thing specifically.

she’s just completely unaware of how fundamentally she’s changed joy and shattered her entire worldview (meanwhile joy is just busy having a whole crisis about exactly that). and NOW she has to deal with actually being treated like she matters, both by joy and the other emotions?? helloooo? she’s definitely got a lot to process by this point because Her entire way of living has changed too now in an entirely different direction.

AND then you add to that how it's pretty clear that sadness knows joy pretty well, but joy still has a Lot to learn about sadness because she never gave her a chance before...very much a recipe for guilt and confusion and miscommunication and other such weird occurrences to arise.

BASICALLY tldr theyre both kind of idiots and i think their dynamic is a little more complicated than people give it credit for. joyness is a veryyy. She fell first (sadness) she fell harder (joy) type of dynamic. To Me.

[lost-inthe-v0id]

Young Snape x Reader prompt/idea? Idk

I can’t really write so this is a scenario I made up that I just word vomited

I’ve always had a crush on snapes young actor since I was like 8 so this is js something I made up when I would daydream

Student!Reader is a ravenclaw pure blood with no strong opinions on wizards/witches with no magic parents and a lot of ravenclaw and slytherin friends

Student!Reader and Student!Snape meet on the train and click right away but don’t hang out at school as much because Lily told Snape she didn’t like reader. They’re still acquaintances until that changes due to Lily getting closer to James and Severus getting a class with Reader. Little by little they slowly start getting closer together.

Reader would like to spend more time with him but he feels a responsibility to stay with Lily all the time since she was the only one who cared to stick around with him. Reader doesn’t like the way Lily treats him and the fact she’s all buddy buddy with his bullies

Finally it’s all solidified when Severus and Lily have an argument their 4th or 5th and he calls her a mudblood. Lily starts to ignore Severus not only everytime he goes to apologize but anytime he comes near her at all. She starts to stand by and just watch James and his gang bully Snape and sometimes laughs.

Reader finds Severus crying and comforts him. Gives him a pep talk about how wonderful he is and how people make mistakes and no one deserves to be treated like he is. Finally after that they start hanging out everyday. Severus becomes good friends with Readers friends but they still usually only hang out with each other.

Reader tells people in Ravenclaw and slytherine how Lily treated Severus and people stopped talking to her, gossiping about her even. Since Reader is a pure blood that’s part of an affluent family she grew up around other affluent family kids. Overall reader was not only friends with higher influence kids but also very respected among them due to her kind and understanding nature. So a lot of these people started to look down on Lily.

Finally it all comes together when Snape and Reader are near a tree talking one day when he starts telling Reader how much he doesn’t deserve her and kind of confessing and rambling when Reader kisses him. After that they start dating, the don’t try to hide it either. They hold hands ALL the time, sometimes you find the pair snogging, other times you find Reader laying her head on his shoulder.

Lily doesn’t like this, she liked the fact Severus liked her and the attention she would get from him on top of that people she use to talk to won’t even look at her now. She tries to talk to him saying she’s ready to hear him out but by then Severus couldn’t really give a shit.

Idrk about the rest

I know not a lot of people like Snape like that so I’m just posting this for myself not really expecting anyone to see this lol

If someone does end up making a full fledged fic plz credit me :<

[rei-ismyname]

The deification of Jean Grey

When a 16 year old Jean Grey was bought to the present by Hank McIrresponsible, she was immediately confronted with the post-death canonisation the X-Men greater social circle had saddled her with. Big feelings and bigger expectations.

The worst of it was from people who'd never even met her, but those closest to her was no less fraught. Adult Scott was certainly affected by her presence, but he behaved the most normal about it (cough, Logan.)

This is a really cute conversation, clearly something Jean needs. Not sure I agree that Jean never had a chance. She made her choices as a hero but there's plenty that *could* have gone differently. Besides, she's already come back to life at least once and travelled through time a bunch. You can't keep Jean Grey down for long. I'd expect Scott to say something like that, though he seems especially pensive at this point. I guess it's understandable, as time travel is a headfuck. It's cute that he's jealous of his younger self and that he admits it.

Scott's empathy for Hank here is really sweet, especially considering the lengths Hank went through to hurt him (intentionally or not.) The very presence of Jean should be reminding people of the culpability of a Phoenix host. Jean is safely dead and can be put on a pedestal, whereas Scott receives nothing but venom. I'm sure Chuck's death is a big factor, but the man tried very hard to die by Dark Phoenix Jean, too. It's easy to overlook the flaws of the dead, and in many ways Jean and Xavier both get canonised as mutant saints. Neither deserve it, for different reasons.

Oh boy, Jean's actions here are difficult to discuss appropriately. She's lonely and scared, she's just woken up from a nightmare, and the person she's closest to is there for her - all grown up. I doubt this is intended to be sexual, my read on it is Jean reaching for platonic intimacy. It's definitely rooted in the love Scott and Jean have for each other, something their awkward 16 year old selves haven't managed to navigate. 'The man I hoped you'd be' is loaded as hell, but it is very human. None of us have ever met our time-displaced selves or loves, and it's very understandable to view them as the same person, except not/better.

I'm not going to credit Scott for not learning into Jean's confusion and need for comfort (because it's just the right thing to do) but I do think he understands and he definitely handled it appropriately. Setting firm boundaries and pivoting the focus to the kind of support Jean needs is considerate and responsible.

Kitty's stance and pseudo-threat here is difficult to parse. She says he handled it well, luckily for him, implying that she was listening the whole time but was also wary of him not handling it well? It's hard to see this as anything other than Kitty thinking they might fuck. I'm not sure they do understand each other, because Kitty didn't listen to him, she just banned him from being in her room alone. Not an unreasonable policy to have, but it doesn't give Scott a lot of credit. As they both leave, Jean cries which seems like a failure of duty of care. Feels like there's more going on here. 'But if the genders were reversed' whataboutery is usually bad faith nonsense, but there is an actual example here. If Kitty heard young Bobby crying alone or screaming in the middle of the night I'm pretty sure she'd check in on him. That she's dated his adult counterpart changes nothing. Adult! Scott and Teen! Jean could communicate telepathically any time they wished, so idk. Maybe just the writers covering their bases and overcorrecting.

Then there's Emma and the Cuckoos. While Emma is the best person to train and teach Teen Jean, she does it in a very messed up way. Jean is so obviously right when she identifies that Emma has issues. I'm not fond of this plot point, or at least how it's written - the whole 'girls are bitchy and jealous' regressive idea put centre stage. This psychic duel fails the Bechdel Test and makes all the adults look super irresponsible for allowing it to happen.

Keep in mind Emma is bombarding a 16 year old with sexual images. Jean IS a saint for putting up with this shit and not melting her brain. Telepathy isn't real, but intrusive thoughts are - and I don't think it's a stretch to say targeted sexualised intrusive thoughts is deliberately traumatizing a teenager. I definitely think this could have been written better. Emma having unresolved Jean Grey issues is to be expected, but dealing with it like this and everyone being okay with it is difficult to believe.

Then again, it seems nobody is immune to the deification of Jean Grey, not even the writers. They all know her as the most powerful telepath so obviously teenage Jean can deal with whatever you throw at her. Kitty and Scott should know better, and Emma has plenty of other ways to train Jean. Yes, she's the great Jean Grey, but she's also a 16 year old who's not coping all that well. I'm glad that Teen Jean and Emma became friends not long after this, but it says a lot that the dude writing it couldn't figure out a way to explain it on the page. There was an opportunity here to show women building a friendship off their commonalities, but instead it's something Jean has to overcome with psychic power not emotional strength - and the adults looking after her don't look very responsible.

[lovelessrage]

Loveless: A Loveless Review

[Plain Text: Loveless: A Loveless Review]

Trigger Warnings For: Discussion of sex, sex negativity, platonormativity, arophobic tropes, and anti-loveless rhetoric

Disclaimer/Disclosure: I couldn’t finish this book. This will factor heavily into the review, as it has to do with how some scenes, details, and the writing quality were just very hard to sit with and continue. I got about 50% through, so I didn’t just skim pages and get back to you on it.

You might guess I don’t think of this book highly if I had to put it down and stop reading. This would be correct. However, I have more in depth thoughts than that. If you like this book and don’t want to read negative things about it, that's fine, but I implore you to read it anyway. A lot of the problems in this book are present in a lot of creations I see and can be a valuable teaching lesson; loveless people aren’t out to ruin your fun because biases got questioned.

Alright. Enough disclaimers. Review under the cut.

The Bingo Card: Surprisingly, Not A Strikeout

People who have been following me for a while may remember I mentioned I went into reading this book with a bingo card in hand: Loveless and Tired Bingo, a sheet made by yours truly. I did not get Bingo with this book! I did, however, fill 17 spaces out of 25; it just didn’t happen to line up, not because the book passed with flying colors. We’ll return to the Bingo Card at the end of this post to see what it looked like. But, letting you know, that’s a rate of 68% of all squares ticked on Loveless and Tired Bingo. Not looking so hot. 

Let’s start with the meat of the post so nobody has to read it all if they just wanted my representation opinions. Other things like writing will be shuffled down for your convenience.

Edit: Past Scowl is a liar and a fraud and did not have maims glasses on, and misread the bingo card! I did get Bingo. Oops. Point still stands because the data is the same, I just gave this book a sliver more credit than it deserved for not getting one.

Platonormativity, Envy, and The Loneliness Whirlpool

If this book had a full course meal, normativity would ironically be a key ingredient in every plate on the menu. Loveless has a platonormativity problem that confronts you from page 1, more realistically before that; the blurb!

[Text ID: From the marvelous author of Heartstopper comes an exceptional YA novel about discovering that it's okay if you don't have sexual or romantic feelings for anyone... since there are plenty of other ways to find love and connection. /End ID]

I promise not all my complaints will be raving about one sentence, but this kinda encapsulates the entirety of my problem with Loveless: Georgia Warr is not supported in her own novel. Loveless is a deeply insecure book that many can relate to, but, really… does it alleviate that insecurity, or just cover it up? There’s an unspoken “but” to every part of Loveless’ philosophy about aspec people [especially aroaces], where they must have platonic love to make them whole, to “fix” and “redeem” their lacking attractions. This has always bothered me, and it’s not an uncommon opinion in the community, unfortunately.

Aroaces aren’t allowed to simply “be” – they must be more. They must be so platonically invested you forget they’re aroace, because they have all this other type of love to give the world. It’s reflective of a view on a community sourced from hurt and exclusion, of someone trying to rebuild their worth on a new forefront. It doesn’t make it less of what it is, though: it’s a “yes they’re valid, but” statement that serves as the backbone for far too many aspec-focused media. 

Georgia is a deeply unsure character, and there’s nothing wrong with her being this way; she’s a fictional character made to represent a journey of acceptance, not a real person with the ability to inflict harm on other real people. She does reflect the author’s biases in many ways and many points on the same token, though, acting as a mouthpiece. This often comes in Georgia’s insistence her friendships are simply stronger than other relationship types, as well as her reflexive tendencies to judge the friendless.

One of my many, many hurdles in this book had to do with Rooney [someone save her and half the cast from this novel, please], when the group realizes she’s only a socialite, not really a long-term relationship holder, and the entire room devolves into silent judgment. Georgia does not defend her newfound friend, simply noting she thought differently of her. What about Rooney not having many friends changes her outgoing personality? It doesn’t. It’s simply the fact that Rooney being friendless makes her weird, as with many things Rooney is unfairly demonized for in this novel.

The emphasis on friends doesn’t end here, and persists through the entire novel, practically. It is the main focus, when it isn’t talking about Georgia’s disinterests, and her friend circle is very important to her. All of this is fine. What isn’t fine is the expectation and casual enforcement of friendship being all you have, so you must seize it; this book, even though I wouldn’t recommend it, is often given as The Book on being aroace, but I wouldn’t agree [you’re free to tell me I can’t have an opinion on that if I’m not aroace, but at least read on before deciding anything, alright, official hear me out warning]. One, not all aroaces are alloplatonic, and two, this:

Why Is This Book Written Like A Workplace Safety Seminar

It’s a very… cookie-cutter way to be aroace, and cookie cutter aroaces exist in real life! The rep should exist, no doubt, and shouldn’t be taken away from anyone. It’s not my problem per se that the book is semi-stereotypical. What my problem is has to do with something I see a lot.

The book falls into many of the pitfalls of what I’m dubbing “the pamphlet effect”: when a novel, show, etc. continuously needs to halt the plot to remind the audience this character is different, and explains this to you in a way that resembles an educational pamphlet at a pride event. Georgia Warr feels like an example given to explain a concept more than a person, and I feel bad for her because of how little this book engages with her actual character when it shines through. I understand the book is primarily centered on her journey through the spectrum, but very little is given to make Georgia’s experience unique outside of one scene off the top of my head. Her interests, hobbies, and unique feelings only seem to play a role when it comes time to be an author mouthpiece on slutshaming for fun and sport; only one scene, the forced kiss with Jason when rehearsing the play, really blends her life experiences with her aroace experiences.

Georgia feels designed to be an everywoman, and it was very disappointing to say the least. Very little of the book actually feels like I’m with her, or learning about her unique take on being aroace as a theatre fan or young adult figuring things out; it just feels like Georgia [and the reader] are being dragged through the Cliff’s Notes version of what it is to discover being aroace, rather than a look at how a character like this might feel differently than others on a fuller, whole scale. She’s a hole that can fit most shapes into it, which makes her broadly relatable, but not as fun or engaging to read about if you don’t fit precisely in the demographic Georgia is for; even if you do, is there much to engage with beyond “I’m like that too!”? 

This isn’t just a Georgia problem, either, as many, many characters in this book are walking stereotypes or very flat. But, we’ll get into that later [if you want to get into it now, skip to Writing Problems, Oh My!].

The Fingering In The Room: Loveless’ Weird Ideas About Sex

Alright, if you’re sex repulsed and braved the storm to get some insight, this next paragraph is just complete confusion about this book’s sex scenes and talking about some of the details within. If you want to skip that, skip the next paragraph.

Why is everybody fingering each other? Fingering is fine and it feels good, but it is basically the only sexual act this book knows outside of making out with tongue. Someone having sex in Loveless? They better have clipped their nails because at least two are going in. It feels like a point of research that was skipped because it was unimportant, which. Pretty much, yes. But when you’re someone who pays very close attention to sex scenes because you’re of the opinion they can have artistic value, as well as conveying the author’s views on sexuality, I come away with “is fingering what Oseman thinks young adults do?”. Anyways. Something I noticed.

[Okay sex repulsed people, you’re good. No in depth descriptions beyond this point, just the word “sex”.]

I should’ve titled this section “In Defense of Rooney Bach” because oh this poor girl. Oh you are just there to be gawked at.

First off, let’s begin in a good place: this book always has to clarify it isn’t slutshaming its characters, followed by slutshaming its characters. Rooney is, for the uninitiated, very sexually active. Georgia’s envy often leads to a judgemental, close minded view of Rooney that often pins her sex life as “too much” – something many sexually active women get villainized for. It strikes me immediately how Rooney is constantly picked on for her sexuality as a woman in ways no male characters who aren’t asexual either are treated. None of the men she flirts with or spends time with are reprimanded or “held to account” by the book; Rooney alone is breaking the rules. Rooney’s descriptions are often bookended with a disclaimer that she isn’t being called a slut, she’s just like one, which… This is slutshaming. You can’t just say you aren’t doing it to not be doing it.

Rooney is also a victim of a very arophobic trope, and one that is also misogynistic: the Broken Woman. Why is Rooney sexually active? A rough breakup that broke her heart and makes her fear intimacy on account of potentially being wrong again. Sure, sex feels good, but explicit focus is made on the fact she is only not engaging with romance because she tried and it didn’t work. For a few chapters, admittedly I was hoping for a book where an aroace and aroallo can get past some differences and expand each other's worldviews; what I got was Georgia thinking pretty poorly of Rooney through unaddressed envy and sex negativity, and Rooney being made to only like hookups because she’s messed up. Because of course a woman could only enjoy that if she had a negative experience that forced her on the path!

Also, another scene I didn’t like was Georgia and Pip watching Rooney have sex while she is completely unaware of their presence? Jason leaves as soon as he notices, but the two of them watch before Pip makes a comment on how disgusting it is and Georgia agrees. I’m shocked at how little this is brought up as being violating or creepy. 

If it was a better book, I would have expected it to result in some kind of furthered conversation about boundaries; it could've been a place for Georgia to start establishing what she likes and dislikes, starting with Rooney preferably keeping her out of her sex life when she’s able. Instead, this event gets brought up solely for jokes, and for a motivation for Pip to start hating Rooney, despite her insistence it wasn't because of the hookup and she isn’t slutshaming. Always a great sign when that needs to be clarified. This is a PSA for everyone: you should not need to clarify you aren’t trying to slutshame. If you feel the need to do so, you are probably being sex negative. 

This book isn’t very fond of sexually active people, nor is it kind to characters that are. I can understand why being asexual and sex repulsed is representation people would want, but I also think there’s many, many ways to write it without making it an exercise in shame.

Ironically Kinda Arophobic In Some Parts

This is a short section of a thing I noticed, hated, and had as a contributing factor for my ending early: this book loves aphobic tropes. There’s already the trope against aroallos of not needing romance because of being broken into only liking sex, but also the problem with Pip and Rooney.

I’m a lesbian, for clarification, and I’m saying from experience that I hate the archetype of the angry, jealous lesbian. It’s everywhere. It’s in this book. Pip, upon even the idea of being rejected, starts berating and demeaning the girl who turned her down, even if she was only turned down in her head. The book passes it off as a lighthearted, funny story that Pip got so mad at an ex-crush she was suspended for throwing an apple at their head. Why do I bring this up?

Is it not ringing any bells that this is arophobic? That a character so hostile to romantic rejection is treated as a joke? Many, many aros, and queer people in general, have experienced violence for turning down someone. It’s a serious issue for aros and a real fear in rejecting someone. I found it incredibly hard to read and sit through as everybody passes off Pip’s tendencies to do this to the women that reject her as a silly, funny Pip moment and not a major issue for the aspec community. I don’t care if it’s enemies to lovers, because it doesn’t really feel good to read at all. The only tension is built off the back of something I’ve experienced in real life and many others have as well. 

Lovelessness: The Insecurity Unaddressed

This book, despite its title, is obviously about a loving character. Many people might not see this as a problem: first off, loveless doesn’t always mean the same thing, and second, many aroaces express feeling loveless when coming to terms with their identity. Here’s my rebuttal.

One: Georgia fits no definitions of the label. She subscribes to none of the beliefs. She loves her friends actively and sees their relationship as more than romance or sex, as something greater to her.

Second, this is because anti-loveless rhetoric is everywhere and all over this book. Not once is it suggested Georgia could live as loveless, or truly be without love. In the end, she is surrounded by it, simply learning to accept friendship instead. The way her insecurity isn’t met with “you’re complete as you are”, and instead with “you can still be complete if you simply fill the void with friends”, is anti-loveless. Nobody is allowed to be whole on their own without a subplot where their doubts are reinforced or they’re explicitly made to be broken inside.

This is shockingly common, and always sad every time I see it. Many aspects fear being loveless, as if it is a curse or blight they must cleanse. This book is one example out of many, but it doesn’t make it less hurtful when a book that runs against everything your community stands for [self-acceptance and the optionality of love] bears your name regardless. It is a book for people who are afraid of loneliness, and it answers their insecurities with “you’re right. You do need other people. You just need to find a way to still find and have a life partner!”. This is damaging to loveless people, especially those questioning an aplatonic identity.

Again, it’s not unique to Loveless. But, it’s reflective of a broader issue of aplatonics who may be seeking community constantly being presented with “you ARE broken, but friendship can fix you!”, a “solution” many can’t use, and often leads to even more self-hatred.

That’s about it from the aspec side of things. If you got this far, congrats! The rest is opinions on the writing, and the bingo card finale. You can drop off here if that’s all you came for.

Writing Problems, Oh My!

This is veering into heavy personal opinion, so, I will remind you: I don’t usually like YA, but YA can be a very good genre! I do not think this book is a good representation of what good YA looks like.

The writing quality is one of the hardest things to get past, because of a major problem I observed: Oseman is better at comics. This isn’t so much a vilification as a recommendation that it would’ve been much better suited for a different type of media. This kind of “media dysphoria” is present in many of the ways the book operates: many scenes would flow perfectly well in a visual piece. Georgia’s inner monologue has a tendency to jump suddenly into scenes and interrupt the action in a way that would be perfectly natural as a narration bubble put over a drawing of the scene around her. There are entire pages of just… text messages that would be much better suited to a visual medium where you could make these dialogue bits look much more interesting through different shots, or drawing what the background would look like on a screen [The Girl from the Sea does this well, for example]. 

There’s also the fact I cannot place in my mind if I'm too old for this novel. A lot of the jokes boil down to “hah! Sex!” in a way that instantly alienates me from the writing. The jokes can be pretty juvenile and repetitive, and serve to be the equivalent of a comedian saying “eh? Get it? That was a joke.” six times. 

This isn’t to mention the fact many of these characters are complete cardboard. Sorry. Jason does not need to exist. When he appears in a scene, he is ignored or completely leaves it on his own. He really only serves to drive Georgia’s character forward, rather than have one of his own. I found myself forgetting he was present in a scene at all until he spoke again and reminded me of his existence. The book would practically be unchanged if Georgia temporarily dated Pip and Jason was never a factor, plus or minus the Shakespeare Soc plot. 

Many interesting characters suffer from severe Pamphlet Effect syndrome. Most of the girls do. In a better novel, they would be more in depth, but Loveless doesn’t really afford them this luxury. I need to take the girls very far away from this novel, okay. I need someone to write a version of Loveless where they have personalities. There’s crumbs there. Please, someone make a loaf of bread out of it. They deserve it.

Another thing, but minor: the breakneck pacing at some points followed by slow slogs of not a lot happening contributes to the reading issues. You may thing something would be dwelled on, just for it to go flying away into the sunset as 3 more things happen and then one problem lasts for 2 chapters. I found it very hard to catch up with Loveless, while other parts I felt like I was constantly waiting for it to catch up with me instead.

The Final Frontier: The Bingo Card Returns

And without further ado, the Loveless and Tired Bingo Card for Loveless by Alice Oseman! Completed with help from other readers braver than I.

[Image ID: A bingo card made from a basic template. It has no title, and all the text is black on a white background. Some squares are marked with a blue X, while others are marked with a red scribble. The marked squares are: “Not prioritizing friendship treated as freak behaviour”, “Jab at loveless sex thrown in”, “Something about not being like THOSE people”, “Universal type of love is laid on thick”, “The answer to all your problems is finding some pals”, “Found family ending”, “Platonic-romantic binary”, “Love still treated as universal [free]”, “Friendship is more wholesome or pure”, “Amatonormativity BAD [platonormativity is my bestie]”, “Platonic love being more powerful or sumn”, “You still love your friends though, right?”, “Friendship saves the day”, “Still thinks you need dedicated people to survive”, “Being alone treated as worst thing in the world”, and “Friendships are more stable than partnerships anyways”. The unmarked, blank squares are: “Something about "players" and pickup artists where no commitment is villainized”, “Character fears being loveless and is kinda aplphobic about it”, “Aspec double standards [one is normal, one is weird]”, “You still love your FAMILY, right???”, “QPRs mentioned by no nuance given to their diversity”, “Friendship forced upon a character against their will”, “Comment about some people being inhuman gets brushed past”, and “Simply prioritise your family instead!!” /End ID]

Would I recommend this book? Uh. No! Well. Yes, but not as a good book for aspecs. I’d recommend it solely to read it yourself and form your own opinions. But, no, I would not recommend it to any aspecs I know, especially not loveless ones, aplatonic ones, aroallos, or if they're an aroace looking for support.

Ah, Loveless, how you vexx me. Never again. See you in the next, much shorter post.

[freckledjoes]

(In)sanity

Steddie Christmas fic! Summary: Eddie returns to Hawkins for the holidays and stumbles upon a very detailed snowman that resembles someone familiar... Warnings: Don't read this if you hate Christmas. And cute shit. Author's note: Be gentle <3 I don't really post things I write. I'm sure it's flawed in more ways than one. I focused on the cuteness, not the UD plot, so if that's vague, it's because of that. This came to fruition because of this post. Word count: 7299

Alright, fine. The rumor’s out: Eddie Munson had returned to Hawkins for the holidays. To his credit though, he had in fact gotten ‘the hell out of there’ once Higgins had finally been forced to hand him his diploma. It was just that, when he arrived in New York, things had been… difficult. You don’t just up and leave and suddenly make it with your band, apparently. Especially not when said band actually decided to do weird shit like going to college. But… It was fine. He did have a good time, found some people that did in fact enjoy his presence (some mostly preferred him inside their beds, which was new) and he enjoyed skipping from roommate to roommate duty all around town.

And yet… here he was. Eddie claimed he had gone back for the holidays. To see Wayne, the Hellfire kids, and yeah. Part of that was true. The other part was just that he couldn’t find his footing in New York, not by himself. As fun as it had been to discover the New York version of Eddie Munson, it hadn’t really been… him. No one really bothered to get to know the real him and in all honesty, he had been enthusiastically hiding him anyway. He had pretended to enjoy mainstream music (It was fine, just not really his jam to dance to until 5AM - which he had. Several times too many. Shudder), drank fancy coffees that he couldn’t really afford and hadn’t mentioned Dungeons & Dragons ONCE after he received a funny look from his second roommate.

Which is why it felt like a breath of fresh air to be back in Hawkins. Where people thought he worshipped Satan, attended virgin sacrifice ceremonies and was an obnoxious good for nothing waste of space. 

It was familiar.

And honestly? He wasn’t even sure who he was anymore sometimes. Getting rid of the super senior title kind of forced him to go do something with his life.

But what?

His trusted van greeted him in the parking lot he had left her at and he was surprised it hadn’t been towed yet, in all honesty. At first Eddie hadn’t been sure it was his van considering she had almost become one with the parking lot due to all the snowfall. To no one’s surprise though, when Eddie had wiped off most of the snow and turned the key, she didn’t have more in her than a splutter of her engine before she went back into hibernation. 

And so, Eddie walked. He knew Wayne wouldn’t be home yet, so he decided to take a detour. The quiet streets carried as much of a negative familiarity as a positive one. He’d been out on those streets for many reasons, taking long walks either high or sober, contemplating pretty much everything about his life long enough for the sun to come up.

Tonight though, he had different things to think about. Or maybe not that different. He had to decide whether he was going to go back to New York (probably not) or if he was going to stay in Hawkins (probably not) and if neither of those, then what? Nothing kept him in either place anymore. Wayne was doing just fine without him and although he missed him, he also wanted to give him some well deserved time for himself. 

Well, him and Claudia Henderson, apparently.

Wayne acted quite funny about it. Claimed the woman didn’t take no for an answer and kept bringing food over, kept inviting him for dinner, and at some point, he had grabbed her hand and kissed her cheek and that was that. For a man who wanted to pretend that he wasn’t smitten with her, he surely needed to work on keeping his smile out of his voice during their phone calls.

Eddie was genuinely happy for him, though he had deliberately avoided thinking about what it might mean for him and Dustin. The idea of a smartass little step-brother wasn’t exactly appealing—not that it would be all that different from how Dustin acted already.

That being said… he hadn’t heard from him at all lately. Or any of the other kids, for that matter. It wasn’t exactly surprising, considering they had their own friend group going on and didn’t need Eddie to entertain them, but a small part of him had hoped that maybe, they at least missed him as their DM.

He fiddled with his lighter and tucked his hair behind his ear before lighting his cigarette (he had learned to keep his hair out of the way after burning some of it… four times). He had barely realized he had wandered into the forest until his elbow hit a tree and he apologized.

“Shit, sorry,” he mumbled, looking back at the tree as if it was going to respond. He was about to face forward again when realization kicked in that it wasn’t a tree he had just walked into. Instead it was some kind of snow sculpture, or an ice sculpture? It surely was really fucking sturdy if it survived that elbow clash.

He walked a few steps backwards to properly observe the statue and noted that it was quite an odd placement, here, in the middle of the woods. Honestly, where did someone even get that much snow? The trees did a good job at shielding most of the ground and it didn’t look like any snow had been scraped whatsoever either. Weird. Eddie looked at the statue, which was surprisingly about his own height and he wondered how he had missed it. Ironically, the snowman was quite a looker. Flowy hair (how did they even manage that?), a strong jawline, muscular but not too muscular. Hmm. He took a step closer to inspect the statue some more and scoffed when he realized something.

The statue looked… familiar.

It reminded him of someone he wanted to forget all about, actually. The amount of time this very person spent at the forefront, sides and back of his mind was actually embarrassing. He didn’t even like the guy. He was just—

“You remind me of someone,” Eddie declared out loud, nodding along to his own statement. “Yeah, some asshole jock I used to go to school with. Didn’t really have personal beef with him, but his friends were fucking awful and well, by association… so is he. Plus, being popular and a jock basically means you’re a dickhead anyway. It’s written in the fucking stars, just like I’m a good for nothing lo—anyway,” Eddie cleared his throat and finally took a first drag of his cigarette.

“I guess someone must really like this guy though, if they make a snow statue of him in the middle of the woods like it’s their dirty little secret. Shame, actually. Bet he’d love the ego boost. Last time I checked his casanova days seemed to be practically over. Not that I care. It’s just obvious when a loud, obnoxious guy like that suddenly isn’t.”

Eddie knew he was talking out of his ass at the ‘loud and obnoxious’ part. If anything, he was talking about his past self there. However, he wasn’t totally wrong about the change of Harrington’s lady magnet wearing off causing some suspicion.

“Anyway… dunno why I’m even talking to you. I’m bored, I guess. My car broke down, had to walk all the fucking way so I figured I’d give myself a nostalgic route through the forest and there you were! Doubt you get a lot of visitors, huh? What am I even saying, maybe you’re like, a day old. Who knows when the fuck they made you, huh?”

He gazed up at the statue again as if expecting a response, but of course none came. Three cigarettes and some nonsensical rambling later, he finally bid the snow statue goodnight and walked home.

Home.

Wayne would always be his home, he figured, whether he still lived there or not. A part of him wasn’t entirely looking forward to seeing Wayne again. He had missed him terribly, but he wasn’t ready for the conversation to lead to New York and what he had been doing over there. Not much to tell really, other than the usual: he had failed to make anything of himself.

The small light on the porch was on when Eddie finally arrived at the trailer and he wondered whether Wayne left it on for him or if he was actually home. He used his key to get inside and let the familiar scent of the trailer hit his nose. It carried a mix of emotions with it, however the good ones always prevailed. He gently closed the door behind him in case Wayne slept, but noticed the door to the bedroom was slightly ajar. Moving closer, he carefully listened for a sound, but there was none. His hand blindly found the lightswitch and to his surprise, the room looked just as he had left it, except with clean sheets.

Eddie walked to the living room and found Wayne’s sofa bed, clearly recently used. It made him wonder whether Wayne had used the bedroom at all ever since he left. Back when Eddie was getting ready to leave for New York, he had reminded Wayne of the fact that he could finally use the bedroom again at last, to which Wayne had joked that his joints might not be ready for the comfort of an actual proper mattress. Now, Eddie just wondered if he had that little faith in him? Expected him back within a month? He never seemed to doubt Eddie’s resolve to move to New York though, at least not back then. Eddie let go of a sigh and walked back to the bedroom to drop his stuff there. Wayne had his habits, and breaking them by sleeping on the couch instead wasn’t gonna be pleasant for him, even if Eddie thought he really should use the bedroom already.

The next morning, Eddie woke up from sounds in the kitchen. When the smell of eggs and bacon hit his nose, he dragged himself out of bed and staggered out of his old room in sweats and a t-shirt. Wayne didn’t look up from the stove, but a smile was evident on his face.

“How come you’re not using the bedroom?” Eddie asked while he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. Wayne gave him a short glance before putting the eggs and bacon on their plates.

“That’s one way to say hello,” Wayne mumbled as he turned and sat down at their kitchen table. Eddie joined him.

“Hello,” Eddie said pointedly, “so? Why not?”

Wayne shrugged.

“Been used to sleepin’ on the sofa for so long. Don’t need the extra room.”

“Your back would appreciate it, you know.”

With a roll of his eyes he gestured at Eddie with the nice he was holding.

“Eat your breakfast, son.”

They ate in silence after that. Neither of them were very talkative just after waking up and it was a common agreement that breakfast was meant for eating and less for chit chatting. It felt nice, being back home. Listening to the way Wayne huffed at the blunt knife not doing its job, the creaking sound of the floor whenever he shifted, the inconsistent barking outside from the dog of one of their neighbors.

“So, how’s New York?” Wayne asked. It wasn’t as if they hadn’t talked about it on the phone before, but it had been a year since Eddie had been home. If Eddie was honest, he wanted to hug the man. He had missed him so much. But that wasn’t a common thing. Hugs. They hugged when it mattered. It wasn’t much of a casual thing.

“It’s alright,” Eddie replied casually. “I’m staying with a guy currently, his name’s… Theo. Short for Theodore.”

“A recent thing?”

“What do you mean?”

“Since you had to think about his name.”

Right. To be fair, Eddie had only moved in with him last week. It was part of the reason why he hadn’t left anything valuable back there, just in case. Theo seemed like a chill guy, however, many people in New York seemed chill at first. Anyway.

“It’s a recent thing, yeah. Kinda been couch hopping for a while now.”

“I see. You like it there?”

“It’s alright. Just can’t really find my footing yet. It’ll take some time I guess.”

Wayne gave him a look. It had some concern etched in it, and Eddie did not like that one bit. He didn’t want Wayne to worry about him.

“You can always stay here, if you need more time figuring things out.”

“I’m fine, Wayne,” Eddie mumbled, making sure to look at his uncle as he spoke. “I promise.”

He knew he hadn’t convinced him when Wayne stayed quiet and continued to finish his food, but there really wasn’t anything else to say. He was fine.

He was fine.

Later that day, Eddie decided to check on the Hellfire kids. He knew Gareth, Jeff and Doug were out of town, so that left the others. However when he tried to phone their homes, no one picked up. At least not until Dustin.

“Hey, man. What’s up? It’s Eddie. I’m back in town for the holidays and I thought—”

Dustin quickly interrupted him, sounding distracted.

“Oh, hey Eddie, uhm— I’m kinda in the middle of something right now. Is this important?”

Eddie frowned, feeling a pang of disappointment in his chest at Dustin’s indifferent reaction. He knew he wasn’t exactly at the top of anyone’s friend list, but part of him at least thought he was liked enough to be greeted with a little more excitement.

“Uh, no, not really I guess.”

“Ok, cool, I’ll talk to you soon, yeah? Bye!”

Before Eddie could even respond, Eddie heard the dull tone on the other hand signaling that Dustin had hung up already.

“Okay…” he sighed to himself. “Whatever, man.”

Eddie spent most of his afternoon trying to fix his van, partially to have something to do and partially because she deserved better than being neglected in a random parking lot. He hadn’t really thought it through when he parked her there as it was the closest parking lot to get to the bus he needed to get on back then. Thankfully, after about two to three hours, she was gently rumbling again and he could take her back home to Wayne’s.

Wayne had left him a note that he left early for his shift, which for Eddie was code for ‘went to visit Claudia before work’, because Wayne never left a minute earlier or later than he had to when it came to work. Bored out of his mind, Eddie decided to play music for a bit, indulge in some beers and eventually, he figured it was time for a nightly escapade. He rolled a particularly strong joint and set off to find out whether the mystery snowman was still there or not.

It had been stuck in his mind all day, for some reason. He was still curious who had sculpted it, and he wondered if maybe he’d run into them. Or perhaps it was already destroyed. Or some animal peed on it. On a whim, he draped a large red scar around his neck and he set off for the woods. There had been a bit more snowfall during the evening, meaning that the forest path was dusted in white again. He felt it crunch underneath his boots and while he enjoyed it for the first ten minutes, he quickly got annoyed with the strain it put on his legs as he walked. Soon enough though, he came to the clearing where the snowman still stood as he had found him the day before.

“I’m back,” Eddie announced before softly chuckling to himself. He had tried to save the joint for when he arrived but instead had already smoked up most of it on the way out of pure boredom. Safe to say, he was feeling a pleasant buzz already. “Did ya miss me?”

He glanced at the statue and wondered why he hadn’t noticed before that whoever made this snowman hadn’t bothered to give the poor man clothes. In fact, it was awfully detailed, at least until the snowman’s waist. Anything below that was just one big piece of snow. As Eddie leaned in closer, he noticed how his chest actually seemed sort of… textured? A great representation of Harrington’s chest hair, not that he’d known much about it. It even had nipples. The only thing missing, probably, were his distinctive moles. What a wasted opportunity. Those freckles and moles were the best part of the damn guy.

“You know, I said you looked like someone yesterday, right? Asshole jock, that one? The name’s Steve Harrington. Whoever made you is really obsessed with the man because the details of that chest are way too accurate. I mean— anyway. I wonder if this girl’s gonna show him. That would be awkward. Funny, but awkward…”

Eddie took a last hit and flicked the roach somewhere in the snow.

“Don’t think he’s dating that Wheeler girl anymore, so who knows. Maybe she’s got a shot. The one who made this, I mean. Like, I’d be pretty flattered if anyone took the time to recreate me like this. Also creeped out though. Cause… It's pretty insane, right? Fuck I’m rambling. Why would you care? You’re a fucking statue,” Eddie groaned at his own inability to shut up and sat himself down on the ground. He let his hands sink in the snow as he leaned back on them, which he immediately regretted as an icy cold feeling crept up his fingers. He kept his hands there for a good minute before he put them in his lap and rubbed them warm.

“I honestly thought people would be more excited to see me, ya know,” Eddie sighed, unsure why he was still rambling to a damn snowman. “None of the kids picked up and the one that did said that he didn’t have time. I literally was out of town for almost a year. And there wasn’t even a hint of surprise at me being back. It’s like… I mean, clearly he doesn’t give a fuck. And I shouldn’t give a fuck either, but what the hell, man. It kinda sucks.”

Almost as if to prove to himself how stubborn he was, he let himself fall back on the snow and moved his arms and legs around to make a snow angel until he once again remembered that snow was cold. And wet. And he wasn’t wearing enough to handle wet clothes in more places than his butt at the moment. Speaking of his butt, he realized at that moment that it had gone completely numb.

With some effort, he lifted himself off the ground and wiped off some of the snow wherever he could reach it.

“Well, I’ll leave you to it then. For some reason I wanna thank you for listening, which is so fucked up. How starved for human contact am I, really? Jesus Christ.”

He waited for a moment, as if he expected the snowman to respond. He adjusted his scarf a little and grimaced at the itchiness. He looked at the naked torso of the snowman and hummed to himself.

“Actually,” he started as he took off the red scarf, “you can have this one. For your modesty or whatever,” Eddie added with a soft chuckle. He draped the scarf around the snowman’s neck and gently secured it at the front. “There. Gorgeous as ever.”

Eddie nodded as he walked away from the snowman.

“Yeah, you heard me. Asshole jock is annoyingly handsome. Too hot for his own good. Such a waste of pretty features.”

Between him and the snowman, he was pretty sure no one believed him at that last part.

Christmas Eve had been wonderful. He had a good talk with Wayne about New York, finally got some more info on Claudia— and apparently Dustin got along well with Wayne too, which filled him with both relief and some envy. Though, when Eddie asked if Dustin had been around when Wayne went to see Claudia, he had said he was out with friends. So at least he was as busy as he claimed to be, in some way. They also played some cards and enjoyed a few too many drinks. Which was why Wayne was already passed out on the couch while Eddie gingerly sipped from another glass of whiskey, enjoying the quiet of his head a little too much to stop.

If only his mind had been quiet enough to not be compelled to go to the snowman again. Really, he had no business there. But for some reason it was nice to just talk to an inanimate object that still represented a human. He’d been smart enough to bring a plastic bag to sit on this time while he rambled on about his failed life in New York. How he wasn’t sure what he was doing, what he wanted, what his next step would be. He talked about anything and everything.

So naturally, Steve Harrington was a topic Eddie couldn’t avoid, one he just had to mention. Again.

“Don’t think I’ve forgotten about you, Frosty,” Eddie teased as he rounded around the snowman and prodded his pecs. “Y’know, if you were real, I’d probably flirt with you,” he admitted gingerly. “If you were real and not Steve Harrington, that is. I’m not that stupid.”

He sat down with a huff and squinted up at the statue as if he was looking into the sun.

“I feel like we’re on a level where I can be honest with you, right? Those people in New York? Not all girls. Guys too. I’m into both. Which brings me back to you and your insufferable look-a-like. ‘Cause you’re the OG now. I’ve had more conversations with you than I ever did with him. Pretty one-sided still, but you get what I mean.”

Eddie paused for effect, letting it hang in the air for a bit to keep up the suspense.

“He was like, my first guy crush. I’m pretty sure anyway. I used to daydream about him and his stupid hair and how I wanted to grab it and make him look at me with those goddamn beautiful hazel eyes before I’d kiss him. I had never kissed anyone back then, by the way. But strong fantasies do the trick. And well, daydream about the same guy too often and you realize you have a problem, I guess. At least, it was a problem back then. Didn’t love having yet another thing about me that didn’t fit the mold.”

He absently kicked against a branch, which barely moved an inch so he left it at that.

“Now I’m cool with it. I mean, it’s fun. But back then it was torture because it felt like a waste to spend so much time thinking about a straight guy. Like, there was no way this dude was ever gonna be into me. Even if he was into guys. He surely wouldn’t be into me. So yeah. Uh. No one knows about this by the way. I hid this one pretty well if I may say so myself.”

He grimaced and pulled his knees up so he could wrap his arms around them and rest his chin on top of it. It felt good to say all of it out loud for once. Even in New York he had made up a different story, because being into Steve Harrington was something he simply hadn’t been ready to admit out loud. Apparently, now he was. From his inside pocket, he grabbed a flask that he had filled with the remaining whiskey and took a ginger sip.

“Kinda pathetic, isn’t it. Christmas Eve, and I’m sitting here talking to you.” A beat. A soft sigh. “Kinda wish you were real.”

Eddie let his fantasies get the better of him as he sipped from his flask, looking up at the handsome snowman who, by the way, still wore his scarf. With some effort he got back up on his feet, wobbling a little as the alcohol made its way to his brain and slowed him down. He paused when he was right in front of the snowman, staring into its eyes which seemed to stare right back at him, even if the pupils were missing.

“Ah, what the hell.” Eddie leaned forward and pressed a quick, teasing kiss to the snowman’s lips. There. Now he could—

At first, he thought it was raining. He felt droplets land into his hair and on his cheeks, and his clothes felt a little damp until the feeling suddenly evaporated entirely.

Eddie stumbled backwards and blinked his eyes rapidly, wondering if he’d really gone too far on his alcohol consumption this time. But, that couldn’t be, this wasn’t even half of what he would throw back on a good weekend. Or a bad one, depending how you’d look at it.

“Eddie,”

Fuck. Eddie blinked again. Fuck fuck FUCK. His voice was hoarse, sounding a mix of relieved yet confused, and mostly tired. His voice, belonging to Steve Harrington.

Eddie stared at him, took notice of how the snowman was definitely gone and how there was now an actual human standing there. And not just some human. Steve Harrington. Alive. Barefoot. Bare everything, really, except for the red scarf still draped around his neck. Surprisingly it was long enough to do all the way down to his junk. Not that Eddie was looking.

Eddie did the only sensible thing. 

He screamed.

The silence that followed Eddie’s scream was deafening, save for the soft sound of snow falling around them. When did it start to snow again anyway? Steve flinched, his hands covering his ears not long before his hands started to do a complete body check, all while Eddie looked like he had seen a monster.

They stared at each other in silence for a moment, their breaths coming out in visible puffs of air. Eddie felt like laughing, crying and straight-up bolting and never looking back altogether. Steve visibly shivered and wrapped his arms around himself.

“You were the statue,” Eddie muttered under his breath, and Steve nodded.

“Yup,” he responded, with a weak pop of his P.

“There’s no way. There’s no fucking way. I must have accidentally just ate an entire tray of edibles and not remember or I don’t fucking know—”

“I can explain— sort of. I think. I don’t know the details yet.”

“Yet?! What?”

“It’s uh… kind of a long story,” Steve winced.

“Kind of a long story?” Eddie’s laugh came out shrill, almost hysterical. “You can’t just magically un-snowman yourself and then just say that! Kind of a long story?!”

“Hey! I didn’t magically un-snowman myself! That was your doing! And by the way, I’m not fucking thrilled about this either, alright? I’m freezing my goddamn balls off here.”

Steve tried to let the scarf cover a larger portion of his body but failed to do so. Meanwhile, Eddie had already shrugged off his winter coat and threw it in Steve’s direction.

“The fuck? What do you mean I magically un-snowmanned you?” Eddie almost sounded offended at the mere suggestion, but Steve didn’t have time for that as he quickly put the coat on. It didn’t do much for his lower half, but it was much better than nothing. He sighed contentedly. When Eddie’s eyes met his, he realized he hadn’t answered his question yet.

“You kissed me,” Steve said matter-of-factly.

Eddie felt like his heart stopped. “What?” he asked weakly, “no I didn’t.”

“Yeah, you did.” Steve gestured vaguely at his mouth. “That’s when it happened. You kissed me, and then—poof. Back to normal. Sort of.”

“No fucking way.” Eddie shook his head vigorously, his hair getting even more frizzed in the process. “That wasn’t—it wasn’t even like, a real kiss!” Eddie protested. “How would that…”

“Beats me.” Steve looked around at the clearing, his breath fogging in the cold. “But… uh, thanks, I guess?”

Eddie’s face burned hotter than it ever had in this forsaken gold weather.

“Don’t thank me. I’m not—this isn’t—you were a snowman, Steve.”

Steve couldn’t help but smirk.

“You go around kissing snowmen often? Or just the annoyingly handsome ones?”

Eddie froze.

“Oh no. No, no, nope, I’m out. I gotta— Fuck this is so bad.”

He covered his face with his hands and turned away from Steve as he tried to recall all the things he had told the snowman—told Steve.

“Eddie,” Steve’s voice was soft, almost hesitant. “It’s not… that bad.”

Eddie’s mouth turned into a thin line and he shook his head.

“Forget it. Let’s get you uh, home, or something.”

Steve sighed and put his hands deeper in Eddie’s coat. It was actually pretty warm, thanks to Eddie wearing it prior.

“It’s fine, I can get home and I’ll just… I promise to drop the coat off as soon as I’m dressed, alright?”

He was surprised to hear a scoff out of Eddie and looked up, only to be met with soft eyes that were nowhere as loud as the indignant sounds his mouth made.

“I’m not letting you go home alone like this, Harrington. Don’t you know what happens to pretty boys when they show their ankles late at night?” Eddie asked rhetorically, happy to see that it got a smile out of Steve. The last thing he wanted was for Steve to think he was a bother. Which… was uncharacteristic of him in general, wasn’t it? Eddie nodded towards something that once resembled a path.

“It’s that way, right? To your place?”

“Forgive me if I’m a little disoriented right now,” Steve said dryly. Eddie smirked and sat down on the ground as he started to undo his boots. He put them in front of Steve and looked up. For a moment, he needed all his willpower not to look at something else that piqued his interest, only just hidden by the scarf and coat. It was a good thing the coat was a little long on him.

“Try them on?”

Steve wanted to protest, but one look at Eddie convinced him that it would just be a waste of time to have a back and forth with him and so, he picked up a boot and did his best to balance himself against the tree to put one on. Thankfully, it fit. After putting the other one on, he looked at Eddie’s feet. Two mismatching socks, a red and a green one.

“Festive,” Steve said with a nod to the socks.

“What can I say, I am a huge enjoyer of Christmas.”

“Right.”

They started to walk towards Steve home at a gentle pace. The streets were empty, mostly due to the fact that everyone was busy celebrating and that it was also kind of late already. Both of them were grateful for that. They didn’t want to know what people would say or do if they saw them like this. Neither boy said much on the way home. The cold controlled their thoughts more than they liked, with Eddie’s feet being soaking wet and Steve, well. He had never felt so small there. Part of him wondered if it would still work and not just fall off due to frostbite or something.

When they arrived at Steve’s place, he fished a spare key from inside a flowerpot to which Eddie tutted, saying it was too obvious. Steve ignored him and opened the door, only then realizing that the lights were on.

“What the—”

“STEVE! Steve! You’re— but how?! We searched all over for you but you were— Eddie?”

Dustin abruptly stopped talking to stare at Eddie, then back to Steve and back to Eddie again. Eddie noticed that Dustin wasn’t the only one in Steve’s house. In fact, it was an odd combination of people. All the Hellfire kids were there, as well as… Robin? Nancy? And Jonathan? While Steve had been away for at least three days?

“Listen— we can talk this through after I’ve put on some clothes, alright? I would say make yourself at home but… seems like you’re doing just fine,” he said, his expression one that would’ve made Eddie laugh if all of this hadn’t been the weirdest thing he’d ever lived through.

Without waiting for an answer, Steve ascended the stairs stiffly, only to turn around halfway and look at Eddie.

“You coming?”

And if that didn’t cause a great mixture of facial expressions, including Eddie’s. However, he nodded wordlessly and quickly followed Steve upstairs. He followed Steve right into the bathroom and then realized maybe he shouldn’t have, because Steve suddenly dropped the coat and took off the scarf and Eddie’s shoes without a second thought and jumped into the shower. Right in front of him. Like it was nothing. Must be a remnant of being a jock and being naked around other guys all the time, Eddie supposed. But wait—

Eddie had confessed that he was into guys, which apparently, Steve had been able to hear as well. And Steve wasn’t… weird about it? Yet? So what did that—

“Hey, Eddie, could you uh, maybe grab some clothes in my room? I was so focused on not being cold that I kinda forgot.” Steve was only a blur now, with the steam fogging up the glass wall between them. “Grab some for yourself as well, whatever you need.”

“Uh… okay,” Eddie said hesitantly, swallowing the question why Steve wanted him upstairs. Probably just to give him socks, he realized later. It felt illegal to be in Harrington’s (he needed to keep him at a mental distance) lair, though it hadn’t been the first time he had been up there. He remembered one party where he had gone up to this room after selling all his stuff and then laying down on Harrington’s bed for a couple minutes before a couple footsteps made him bolt right out again veeeery quickly. Anyway, back to business.

Eddie rummaged through the drawers to find some clean socks for both, a pair of underwear for Ste— Harrington, and managed to find a sweater (a Christmas one) and some black sweatpants for him. He took off his own wet socks and figured he’d just let them air dry while he waited outside of the bathroom. After about five more minutes, Steve emerged from the bathroom with a towel around his waist and looked startled when Eddie was right in front of him.

“Oh— Here you are. Why didn’t you just come in? Don’t you gotta dry your feet?”

Eddie shrugged.

“It’s fine. Uh, here.” He quickly handed Steve his clothes, who this time at least had the decency to go back in the bathroom to put it all on. Eddie took the opportunity to put on the dry pair of socks and was only a little annoyed with how good they felt on his feet. Rich people and their quality socks… Once Steve came back out, he had a funny look on his face and pointed at his sweater.

“Really?”

“I mean, someone’s gotta be festive, my socks are swapped now, so…”

“Right.” Steve looked in the direction of the stairs and bit down on his bottom lip. “Uh… about that thing that happened in the woods—”

“I won’t tell a soul.”

Steve frowned and waved at him dismissively. “Not that, I mean, the snowman thing. There’s uh… I don’t know how to explain this in under five minutes, but there’s this other dimension and there’s some weird evil shit happening there and now this, creature, whatever it is, started to turn people into statues. We have no idea how many people it has happened to, I mean, I froze shortly after Lucas did, so I don’t know much… Anyway, it’s gonna be a lot to take in, alright? But I promise you’re not going insane, it’s all real, we’ve all uh, kinda been here before.”

Steve had rushed out the words so fast that Eddie’s ears were ringing. He blinked a couple times, figured a nod would suffice and looked up at Steve again.

“Right… okay. And everyone downstairs is involved?”

Steve nodded.

“Kind of, not on purpose or anything. I’m sure you’ll hear the full story at some point from one of us. ‘Cause… you’re in this now. You can try to forget this shit but you won’t. Just be happy you haven’t seen anything severe.”

“Sounds ominous,” Eddie remarked.

“Yeah, well. It is,” Steve replied matter-of-factly. “Wanna go back downstairs?”

“Sure…”

“So… what. It’s gone now?” Steve asked. Dustin had explained what he had missed out on the past week or so and he had brought Eddie up to speed with the remaining bits that were relevant for now. Apparently El (who Eddie hadn’t even noticed before) had used her superpowers (whatever that meant) to freeze the guy, creature, thing, in return and that was that.

“Yup, and I think everyone should be fine. I mean, Lucas immediately came to and I guess you must have too, since you’re suddenly back here?” Dustin asked. He glanced over to Eddie and he could tell he had a million questions about how him and Steve somehow became a duo, but he seemed to restrain himself.

“Uh, oh. Yeah, I guess so,” Steve replied vaguely, glancing over at Eddie briefly before avoiding his gaze again. “By the way, Eddie found me. So, that’s why he’s here. Which brings me to the question… how the hell did you guys get in here?”

“You don’t hide your spare key well enough,” Max shrugged.

“But it was right where I left it?”

“Well, duh. Where else would we put it?” Mike interjected, immediately making Steve want to roll his eyes. He glanced over at Nancy and Jonathan, who sat huddled close together on the couch.

“So everyone’s okay?” he asked, looking at Nancy, then Robin. The latter nodded.

“At least those that we knew of.”

“And… that monster or whatever isn’t gonna melt itself or something?” Eddie asked softly, glancing over at El, who shook her head.

“He won’t,” she said confidently. Man, Eddie wishes he was that confident about this all.

They talked for a little longer, but eventually decided it would be best if everyone would get some sleep, especially Lucas and Steve considering their situation. Nancy and Jonathan had come with separate cars, so there was enough room to take them all home. When Eddie tried to sneak out the door, muttering some joint goodbyes along with the others, Steve stopped him by grabbing his wrist.

“Your stuff’s still upstairs,” he said softly, although Eddie had a vague feeling that Steve cared very little about that right now.

“Oh, right…”

Dustin turned his head towards them suspiciously as Jonathan drove out of the driveway and Steve simply gave him a quick wave before closing the door behind them.

“So.”

“So…” Eddie repeated.

“Guess it wasn’t some sleeping beauty meets prince type of situation,” Steve mumbled, and he sounded almost disappointed. Eddie smirked and crossed his arms while looking at Steve intently.

“Yeah, no fairytale for us, I suppose.”

Steve hummed softly and moved a little closer. Eddie tried to keep his distance, but Steve was relentless and patient in his slow chase, moving closer until Eddie hit the back of the couch and grabbed onto it for support, less he’d topple over backwards and that would be way too embarrassing.

“You said that if I was real, you’d flirt with me,” Steve reminded him while teasing his finger gently along a lost strand of Eddie’s hair.

“I’m also pretty sure I mentioned I’m smart enough not to go for a straight guy,” Eddie reminded him in return. He tried to control his heart palpitations and failed terribly, especially when Steve smiled slowly, leaned in even closer to the point that Eddie could feel tiny droplets of water land in his neck from Steve’s hair.

“You’re into both,” Steve said. “Why can’t I?”

“I mean… you’re Steve Harrington,” Eddie said weakly.

“Mhm. And you’re Eddie Munson,” Steve said with a nod, “the guy who spent three nights in a row, or at least, I think they were nights, visiting a snowman that resembled me, Steve Harrington, and poured his heart out to him, it, whatever, and then kissed me—it.”

“Did you…’ Eddie started, and he looked over at the door. He was ready to run if he had to. Ready to escape the wrath that was about to be bestowed upon him if he spoke these thoughts out loud. “Did you like it?”

Steve cocked his head with a smile and lifted one shoulder casually.

“I don’t know. It was a little short, and my mind was kind of occupied with other things. I could be a better judge this time around.”

“This—This time around?” Eddie stammered.

“Unless you don’t want to, I mean, after all, you had a lot of things to say about me.”

“Harrington— I mean, Steve, I— I didn’t mean it like that. The things I said… I was just rambling. I would never say that stuff about you if you were within hearing distance, ‘cause it’s not… true. I know you’re a good guy and—”

“Eddie.”

“Yes…?”

Eddie looked up at Steve, who suddenly seemed a little taller for some reason, towering over him as his hand moved to cup his jaw, thumb grazing his cheekbone softly. He searched his eyes for anything, anything that would explain what was happening because surely Steve wasn’t about to kiss—

Steve was kissing him.

Steve Harrington was kissing him.

Steve Harrington was kissing Eddie Munson.

On the mouth, no less.

Eddie wasted about half a minute before he regained enough composure to kiss him back. It was hesitant, shy, almost. Steve giggled into the kiss and gave him a few pecks in between.

“C’mon,” he urged him softly, sweetly. “Gimme a real kiss already.”

Eddie did.

He grabbed Steve’s face with both hands, stood up straight, and nudged him back until Steve’s shoulders hit the wall. Their tongues danced, fighting for dominance, as Steve smiled into the kiss. Eddie shifted, planting his hands on either side of Steve's head and threading their fingers together, grounding them both in the moment.

Suddenly, Eddie pulled back. Steve looked at him with a dazed expression and when Eddie dropped his hands, he held onto his waist instead.

“Eddie…?”

“Wait—” Eddie said, even as he leaned into Steve’s touch. “I’m still kinda drunk, right? So I gotta know that this,” he gestured between them, “is real.”

Steve visibly relaxed and gently squeezed his waist.

“It’s real,” Steve almost whispered, thumbs circling Eddie’s shirt. “We’ve got some catching up to do, but it’s all real.”

“You don’t uh, hate me for the things I said?”

“You kept me sane in there. And a little humbled, but that’s alright,” Steve teased with a grin. “If it wasn’t for you being there… I think I would’ve gone insane.”

“Sorry for only visiting so little then,” Eddie mumbled. “In my defence, I thought you were just a very detailed snowman.”

“Oh, right. Something about my chest hair? You mentioned how accurate it was, or something.”

Eddie’s cheeks immediately turned visibly pink.

“Shut up,” Eddie said quickly, “shut up right now.”

Steve shook his head and smiled.

“Nah.” He paused. “Unless you make me.”

Eddie smirked as Steve wiggled his eyebrows cheekily at him. How could he ever turn down an offer like that? 

Of course he kissed him.

Hope you liked it! If you did, a reblog would be most appreciated. :) That's how the work can travel to other eyes after all! Would love to hear your thoughts whatsoever. And uh, Merry early Christmas!