#and like no sorry the players are being dumb. that's world building

[yusuke-of-valla]

I don't want to be too mean because there's nothing objectively wrong with this article but the vibe I got reading this was like "it sounds like these are two valid approaches to writing romances and any flaws with them aren't inherent to the design choice so much as they're limited by the devs imagination and writing skill?"

But also like it's interesting to hear people talk about it and it brings up some interesting games I want to check out now, so like? Whatever? Objectively fine article, it's just going to be bugging me for the rest of the day.

I will make fun of this quote though:

“The difference between a bisexual character versus a playersexual character really is a matter of context,” Gaider says. “By calling a character ‘playersexual,’ you’re sort of erasing the fact that they are bisexual, but, the part where having a term for that becomes useful is when you start to investigate, like, why is this character bisexual?”

I'm sorry do I need a three page essay explaining why I'm bisexual? Do I need to bring this up on my tinder date? Damn I've been doing this wrong.

[crescencestudio]

Heyoo! 👋 I'm new to these asks, played your game, Alaris, and OMG is it so good! Aisa and Etza are on my mind, rent free, but mostly Aisa, I simp for Aisa, idk why I find the quiet ones cute/hot, I just do. 😭

👀 *coughs* Anywayyys, first things first, I'm curious about the world building of this game, ik there's already alot in it. But now I can't help wondering just how populated humans are in this world? Cause alot of the buildings seem to look worn-down/covered in plants, I can imagine the human race not to be very populated, unless they r and I'm just being dumb lol. But I couldn't help wondering since there used to be dragons, and now their's the fae race, and god knows if there are any other races out there besides those two (which I'm assuming there aren't, but who knows?).

I'm also saying this because the village(?)/town(?)/city(?) that MC, mom, human LI's are in seem to be in a relatively small, secluded town area, unless they aren't(?). Idk, if there even are big 'cities', but just little, scattered, hidden/overgrown towns like MC is in.

I'm also also saying this because i hope to build up my Alaris OC's life/background a bit, he's currently in the works rn ✍️👀 Speaking of, do u know of what happened to the MC's father? Or are we free to HC/imagine to whatever happened to him?

Lastlyyy (this ones most important of my asks I think 👀 mostly cause of trying to build my OC's childhood lol), what is the schooling like in this world? Where do the children go to learn about their world? Do they go to a regular public school? Or mentored/tutored/homeschooled by whoever is available/able to teach them?

Speaking of which, how do children even view this world? I bet their imagination must be top notch cause of humanity's history with dragons and all lol. I can imagine them little gremlins, running around pretending to be dragons lol.

Do the children/people of this world gain their "energy"/dragon magic, or are they just born with it?

Sorry for all of these asks 😭 I wasn't expecting to ask this much honestly, I was only going to ask like, 1 question then ask for a LI ask(which I'll do in the next ask since I don't want to pile them all into one) lmao.

I tend to ramble so apologies for that, I'm just really curious about this game and it's story, I also don't want to write something in my OC's bio that's canonically incorrect lol.

🫡 Anywho, I appreciate and salute u if u read all of this, idk if there's a number limit to how many asks we can ask but I just hope this wasn't too much lol.

hello!!!! ahhh i'm so glad you liked alaris this much omg q.q it's always a compliment to know players get into the game and stories i've toiled away on ^^ your ask and interest in the game mean so much to me!!!!

i'll try my best to answer all your questions--in the future, i def recommend splitting them up into separate asks (at least in categories) since it makes it easier for me to go through and answer everything <3

✨ Human Population

so you're right in that the world of alaris isn't densely populated. there was a lot of tragedy and destruction during the great war and so as the years have gone on, nature has kinda taken over (in a healing way) which leads to the look that you see in the game. i'd say most areas in alaris are towns similar to the size of where mc and cast are located!

✨ MCs Dad

there actually is a set backstory for mc's dad. i can't give any details since it's a spoiler but will be covered in the full game! you're totally free to HC your own theory/take on MCs dad but just to be totally transparent, it may end up differing from what is shared in game. as long as you're ok with that, feel free to HC away until the game is released!

✨ Schooling System and Energy

it's all public schools in alaris! homeschooling is actually not an option because the education system helps children hone their Energy. the schooling system teaches kids on the history, giving a lot of importance to the great war, the downfall of technology, and the significance of the dragons sacrifice. and then obviously other material that we would learn irl like math, language, and extracurriculars.

the unique part of the schooling system is, like i said, kids learn how to use their Energy at school. everyone in alaris is born with some kind of Energy. it may not be very strong, but everyone has access to at least a little bit of magic. Energy usually fully manifests by the time kids enter school, which would be around 4-6. once they go to school, they'll learn what kind of Energy they have, it's uses, etc. the schooling on education is pretty heavily monitored so that central can make sure no kids pose a danger to anyone. these cases are Extremely rare though since alaris is set in a very peaceful world!

kids are definitely imaginative, but i wouldn't say Significantly More than in our own world! the main difference is probably that some of their "fantasies" are a little more accessible to them since they actually have magic!

[tu-es-gegg]

i fucking .

i hate that it feels liek, at least in the trailer, no one thought of minecraft earnestly. like they looked at screenshots and gists of the game and went "haha ok we can make this for the kids" like oh my god, playing minecraft survival is such an experience because your are dropped into this uncharted land that is just generated and theres so many thigns to discover, but ultimately the decision on how to play the game, the end goal of it all; thats entirely up to the player.

and early game, its so serene, calm as you explore for resources, whether its the caves or above ground, then nightfall hits and then its a fight for your life out in the wilderness. and its the management of what you have and what can you build witht e blocks you got, and its the horror of the big caves (esp with caves and cliffs) that are filled with goodies but also monsters, its the joy of making something out of the stuff you gathered out of your own efforts, the exhiliration of going through the laundry list of progression from the nether to the end and then comes the fight against the ender dragon. the end poem.. a piece of literature that tell you that the player is everything and anything it desires to be, the player is the universe and the universe says i love you because you are love.

minecraft is so earnest in its gameplay loop of "do whatever you want" and its been that way for years in terms of its main java version. theres no undertone of "needing to cater to a demographic" because minecraft is for everyone and mojang for so long have worked with that.

this minecraft movie trailer just...reeks of corporate. liek it comes from the mind of some business exec that scoffed at teh screenshots and short blurb of the game, and took all the fuckass tiring industry standard of photorealistic and choosing to live action just so they can have physical actors' pretty celeb faces in the marketing and also so they can abuse the vfx/cgi teams in teh middle of animation unions as if world is hard enough...

like anyone who plays minecraft understands this is an unrealistic game, trees fuckign float so why is it live action???, it should be ANIMATED BUT NOOooooo they want better pay i guess we better loophole with vfx teams too

its like worse because its doing an isekai plot and like,. dont understand why, is it just for the actors to do a "why the hell everything a square XD" or for them to laugh at minecraft mechanics being not to real life? is that it you want your "good writing points" for that? you want a gold star for being sooooo clever?

im so unbeleivably upset but it jsut frustrates me that outsider views of minecraft is that its just a "silly blocky kids game for kids" like they think they can make everythign into cubes and think that makes a good minecraft representation, when that is not ever the case, what makes a good minecrat rep is understanding the source material, hell just PLAYING THE GAME IS GOOD ENOUGH and i doubt anyone here has even played the game or at least done so with earnest attempt to understand the game's core values

im sorry im bitching so hard but i lvoe this game, i have played this game for years and watched people play it for even longer, im so sick and tired of people putting minecraft in a box when its so much bigger, its a game of so many possibilies just from vanilla, but people who dont even play the game dont respect it's openess and hoensty in that freedom that is the central part of the game. they jsut see bight coloured squares and think its just for the kids who are dumb and stupid enough to buy anyhting thats a cube.

[peoplesrazor]

Sorry for the long screenshot, wanted to get it all in.

Not going to address everything, but wanted it available to view. Also, I have that complete transparency policy thing. I get itchy if I don't post honestly.

Just for edification, I present the real definition of allegory. It goes thusly: a story, poem, or picture that can be interpreted to reveal a hidden meaning, typically a moral or political one.

I have not played Her Tears Were My Light so I cannot speak to that game's allegorical themes. However, the title alone surely hints at hidden meanings. Tears aren't normally described as actual light most of the time. I also know that the characters are Time (the player), Space and Null. That feels like that might not just be a naming convention. I'd have to see someone else's interpretation of it to know for sure, because I don't trust yours, Lily.

Can we just, for once, leave Tolkien out of this. At the end of the day he was a brilliant linguist who created an amazing world for the language he created to live in. He just got tired of beatniks and bohemians getting wasted and going on about Tom Bombadil and trying to add anti-war and environmental messages were he didn't intend them. Either "death of the author" his works and talk about what you see in them, or abide by his wishes and don't bring up those works. Trying to do both is cringe.

The real definition of metaphor: a thing regarded as representative or symbolic of something else, especially something abstract.

The real definition of a proverb: a short pithy saying in general use, stating a general truth or piece of advice.

Every rose has it's thorns is a literally a proverb.

A rose among thorns is the metaphor you were looking for. The rose themes and images around Rose Quartz is this metaphor and not the improperly attributed every rose has it's thorns proverb. But, hey, you were right about it being metaphorical. A metaphorical theme, in fact.

I think you are only half-right about fusions though. This is just my take, mind you. I think the act of fusing; the two component gems coming together, sure, that's just the relationship. But the fusion itself, the way it looks, the way it operates. The actual being with a name like Garnet or Alexandrite or whatever. I think that's the metaphor.

Like Garnet is generally calm and somewhat easy going without being frivolous because the two component gems inside her are a couple who are happy and content to work as one. That reads metaphorical to me.

Lastly, Lily, something can absolutely be explicit in the text, while also being an allegory, a metaphor, a theme, a simile and a dozen other things. It can even be, as I hope I explained with fusion, the exact thing and a metaphor of the thing at the same time. Especially, when part of the audience is expected to be children.

You know who once did a good job discussing the allegory of a show's source material? Mikailia. @that-one-kiddo-in-the-back recently posted about Mikalia's video on Lego Monkie Kid and I'll let that post speak to how she did on the rest of the video, but she understood that Journey to the West is an allegory for the facets of the human mind.

I'm not even going to complain that she probably only knows that because of Overly Sarcastic Productions videos. That's why I know that. I've also never read the source material and am mostly familiar with adaptations. That's an acceptable way to learn something.

See, Lily, you can listen to what other people say, build on that, and not only will people not call you dumb, they might even praise you for your effort.

Works the same with criticism.

Addendum: Look at that, I became Lily's English teacher for a second, anyway. Cleaned it up. Added a few tags.

[ntzsche9]

Here's to a fresh intro! I'm Verne (they/them), practically a queer elder in my 30s and too many of my stories are me simply wanting to write a scene, developing a bit of a world around it, then losing interest entirely. I’m still trying to figure out how to break that curse, but in the meantime, I’m just going to chase inspiration and post odds and ends here. I used to be an avid role-player, and my small cast of OCs from those days provide the greatest and easiest inspiration - particularly in the setting of the Fallout Universe. I do my best to write for a reader who is unfamiliar with the series, though.

Interests:

Post-apocalyptic

Near-future dystopias

Scifi/Fantasy (urban) and magical realism

History/AltHistory (especially lesser-known and marginalized stories)

Horror, dark, violent, and mature themes

Queer everything. I can't write heteros to save my life and I'm not all that sorry about it.

Sexy melodrama and smut with too much plot

Fanfiction (I could read/write Fallout stuff all day)

________________________________________________

Noteworthy WIPs:

Bad Blood - A Fallout Nuka-World fanfic (tag: #ntzsche Nuka-World)

I hope to eventually write this comprehensively enough to post on AO3 but for now, I work on this story to practice becoming a better writer. Incomplete Prequel: Sanctuary.

Lafayette, the son of a 'retired' raider, left his abusive father to find his place in the world and was taken in by an eclectic trauma-bonded found family that inspires him to be a better person and shows him love he is certain he doesn't deserve. When his father comes across them in a raid, Lafayette joins him in order to save the settlement and his little brother. Lafayette finds that being with his dad again, and playing the son he always wanted him to be, isn't nearly as difficult as he thought it would be. He struggles to maintain the person he wants to be with the person he suspects he is, all while a cast of scheming raiders, wastelanders, and slaves vie for power in a raider city built within the rusted remains of an amusement park.

Salem's Child - (tag: #ntzsche Salem)

A background on one of the lesser Bad Blood characters that I got carried away with.

Andrew Rook doesn't look like his parents. He looks like someone they are desperate to forget. The witchy remains of post-apocalyptic Salem, Massachusetts provide some solace from his rough home life. In a fading settlement run by incompetent adults who would rather blame the population of feral black cats for their problems than try to resolve them, Andrew and his two best friends build a world in their imagination that shields them from the wretchedness of the wasteland and the people they have to rely on to survive.

Navarro (working title) - (tag: #ntzsche Zavala)

Multi-generational short stories. Inspired heavily by Fallout universe, but reads as a stand-alone. Temporarily on hold pending a sensitivity beta reader for a few of the stories.

María Zavala, an aging curandera, happily sacrifices her place in a vault to her pregnant chicano daughter and faces the nuclear apocalypse alone. When radiation blesses her with immortality, she survives long enough for her great-grandchild to come home to her, and the family finds a way to flourish against great odds. Under their immortal matriarch, her descendants become the foundation for a town that is a bastion in an otherwise inhospitable world.

The Crash - (tag: #ntzsche Crash)

A real-world AU. 

Gabe always knew his functional alcoholic roomie would get into a terrible car wreck someday, but he never thought he would be dumb enough to be in the car with him. When the consequences of the wreck threaten to destroy Dave's life, Gabe finds himself doing everything he can to hold those pieces together. The love he harbors for his straight, polyamorous best friend runs deeper than either of them are ready to face, but Dave's injury makes it that much harder to hide.

________________________________________________

Miscellaneous

Master list of writing posts, mostly backstories, one-shots, and excerpts (tag: #ntzsche misc).

Every You and Every Me - Cosmic horror flash-fiction

Misc Fallout Fiction

Typically taking place before the events of Bad Blood, roughly in chronological order:

Smiling Jack - Backstory for Dizz

Vault 112 - Backstory for Dave and Gabe

If Dave Had Died - What-if scenario from prior to Sanctuary

Sanctuary - How Lafayette became a part of his new family, direct prequel to Bad Blood

The Boston Library - One-shot writing prompt containing Lafayette and Luvell, after Sanctuary

OC Intro - most of my recurrent OCs have their own tags.

(some links forthcoming)

[throwaway-yandere]

idk if this is a stupid question to ask but what are the talents of everyone in the Flawless au? i know tighnari is the ultimate botanist, kaveh is the ultimate architect and yoi is the ultimate pyrotechnician(?) but idk any the other 12 students... im thinking of making my own genshin fangan where scara is the mastermind so i'd like some ideas!

Spoilers for FLAWLESS (please read and play this fic if you haven't because I need a person in my asks to talk about Alhaitham so I can roast him—)

And uh... I don't think you should get ideas from me because most of their talents are tailored to the ideas I have that can be built upon and not "ah yeah, this is definitely ___'s ultimate." So, I implore you not to take this all into consideration. Have fun, think of your own spins on their talents because I swear there's better combinations out there.

Alhaitham: Ultimate Scribe/Secretary + Teacher's Assistant.

Amber: Ultimate Archer

Tighnari: Ultimate Botanist (we wouldn't go this far without him, bless his soul)

Ajax: Ultimate Gymnast. (He joined Olympics several times. Hence, his hubris with Amber—)

Albedo: Ultimate Chemical Engineer + Teacher's Assistant (I think this was mentioned in one of the wrong choices and Scara goes "you dumb beech" lmfao. I think I had an idea where the arrow is poisoned and that's how Amber and him tagteamed)

(There was supposed to be a mini-easter egg if you pick a wrong option, it should have a link to a google docs short fluff segment from the past of Alhaitham lending Kazuha book guides on how to read Sumeru literature while Albedo teaches Scara about types of crystalline solids and Scara complains the whole time while Kazuha loved every second lol. Alhaitham is seething deep down though cause he's jealous that Kazuha is dating the reader. Unfortunately, I got lazy and didn't write this.)

Kamisato Ayaka: Ultimate Swordmaster (successor to Lumine iirc?)

Reader: Ultimate Idol. (Duh. It's Ai Hoshino. Fun fact: reader was supposed to be the Ultimate Interior Designer but I scratched that because it leaned on a Kaveh canon end too much)

Faruzan: Ultimate Irregular Stud— jk, something about being an Ultimate Mentor/Mechanic or something. I think I leaned more on Mechanic? Help. I forgot.

Xiao: I SERIOUSLY FORGOT I'M SO SORRY XIAO. But I do remember thinking about writing a scene where Scara calls him the Ultimate Sacrifice. Forgot if I went through with that idea.

Kunikuzushi: Ultimate Puppeteer. This can be seen in his ending & Kazuha's. And a clear reason why Raiden Shogun is the way "she" is. Kinda phcked up that you made your own sister into a—

Kaveh: Ultimate Architect of course. He'd even build a whole world for you— as long as you won't leave him.

Cyno: Ultimate Tabletop Player. I had a fun idea where people keep mistaking him for having another talent and when they find out he's not the ultimate investigator people get mad for his sake but nah, man loves his card games. But people voted for Kazuha HAHAHAH

Yoimiya: Ultimate Pyrotechnician. Fun fact: was supposed to make her a victim at one point but then realized I want HER to be the Aoi of this au.

Layla: Ultimate Astronomical Researcher, I think. I'm sorry Layla, I also forgot...

Yunjin: Ultimate Playwright.

Kaedehara Kazuha: Ultimate Poet. He's so babygirl for this, Poet + Idol <3 (definitely not biased here.)

Shikanoin Heizou: Ultimate Best B— Ultimate Detective.

[lightprkdraws]

ooh okay now I'm curious: what don't you like about v3's ending?

Hhh I hope you won't regret asking this, because I am going to rant a looot about it XDD

SPOILERS for ALL danganronpa main games (also, long rant ahead)

The first thing that I want to say is that it makes me cringe. It makes me cringe so hard when the in-universe characters talk about the previous games and literally say danganronpa. It's too meta for my liking.

Additionally, it feels mean spirited to the player. Sorry, I can't get to the moral high ground here, I just don't like getting lectured for the things I like by the things I like. It's a bit hypocritical too, no? You were the one who made the murder mystery game, not me!

---

Having gotten those two points out of the way, it feels really silly as a reveal in comparison to the previous two games' reveals. The first one basically said that the world as the characters knew it had ended, and the second one not only said that, but it also revealed that they were the ones responsible.

In comparison, DRV3 has a very bizarre (also overused, also juvenile) "we live in a society" kind of reveal. "Ooooh look how uncaring all these people are!"

(also, seriously? who could watch 53 of these killing games without getting bored? that number is ridiculous)

It certainly tries to give it more of a punch with the inclusion of the characters' audition tapes (seeing that they signed up to be psychologically tortured and literally murdered on live TV) in an attempt to make it more like DR2 instead of just DR1, however that aspect is brushed aside in favour of dealing with the bigger issue (the actual murder show). It's so incredibly cartoony and weird, and not in a good way. Maybe if it were some kind of underground, dark web type of deal there would be a better flavour to it.

Also, there were sooo many red herrings in the previous chapters, instead of a slow buildup of the reveal. For comparison's sake:

In 2-2 the characters learn that they've lost their school memories, and, after that, Monokuma starts talking about the world ending on multiple occasions. In 2-3 we read a document about a reserve course that exists at hope's peak. We also learn about protests that were carried out by said reserve course. Then in 2-4 we get the payoff that Hajime is in the reserve course. Finally, in 2-6 we learn that all the people of this game were the instigators of the apocalipse. Hajime's personal struggle is only a small part of the bigger reveal, but it also supports the bigger narrative: the fact that Hope's Peak is an incredibly corrupt organisation that treats people as expendable labrats, and how that led to the protests, and how that helped Junko escalate the situation in a massive way.

Meanwhile, in V3 we get some flashbacks of Suichi talking with a random young kid, him talking with some classmates, him being chased by a mob of people. Then there's a whole thing about getting to the exit through the tunnel and hope's peak building a sanctuary for the last remains of humanity?? And let's not forget Kaede's sister, for whatever reason. I'll admit that I don't remember all the details of V3 because it's been a while since I played it, but all these events are so disjointed and random. There's just so many things shown that in the end don't have anything to do with the reveal (apart from showing how stupid the whole organisation running these killing games is).

Another thing to mention, is the existence of the nanokumas. The creators must have really liked the fact that Monokuma could see everything all the time in DR2, because they had to somehow make that work outside of a digital context in V3. I hate the nanokumas. They are so incredibly dumb as a concept.

And after all is said and done, the game has the gall to say "but who knows what the actual truth is"

Neither of the previous games had such an unecessary open-endedness to them. But ig I have to admit that, specifically with DR1's ending, there is a bias of certainty because we got multiple sequels that confirm what the truth is (although I still believe that it didn't really leave much room for debate).

Both games had a feeling of "and the story continues" but not a "wait, what was the truth after all?", if that makes sense.

---

Now, about Tsumugi specifically. It's really really dumb that she was made out out to be a big bad evil mastermind, when she's just a showrunner. She's got 0 actual power. Nothing like Junko or even Izuru. They were the instigators. Tsumugi is a small cog in a machine.

Idk if I've said this before, but I'd like her a lot better as a mastermind if she'd been some rich spoiled girl who's obsessed with the danganronpa franchise and ends up kidnapping a bunch of her classmates and brainwashes them in order to make her own real-life killing game. That to me, specifically for Tsumugi's character, would be 1000x or even 1000000x more compelling than her canon motivations and role. This way, you can even keep the meta-narrative of the previous games being fictional in the V3 universe, but can completely remove the entire world being in on the joke. AND it would make her more interesting because she'd be so passionate about this game that she's literally willing to die for it!

---

In conclusion: there's probably things I can't remember right now, but these are the main points that come to mind off the top of my head.

Don't get me wrong, I had a lot of fun playing it until the trial of chapter 5. It became too confusing and convoluted for me after that point. But before that, I liked seeing most of the character interactions.

I do feel bitter that Kaede was killed in the first chapter (it'd be a lot more interesting if Suichi had died and Kaede had then had to learn how to take on his role, there could even be a lesson that one does not need to keep themselves within the confines of their assigned ultimate talent), but it's not like the whole game suffers from this one decision.

I especially liked the interactions between Suichi, Maki, and Kaito during their nightly meetups. Such small moments of bonding time is something that was missing from the previous two games.

[azsazz]

CC3 Anon

spoilers under cut

Hiii it’s CC anon. THANK GOD YOU RESPONDED NO ONE ELSE I KNOW IS READING THIS BOOK 😭

I finished CC3 last night and yeah. I enjoyed the pacing at the beginning of this book more than the first two books because we’re already in the thick of the climax and don’t have to build up suspense again but omg it dragged in the middle.

I did not care for Ithan at all I’m sorry. And yes he hasn’t been a pro sun all player in YEARS idk why she keeps bringing it up. I think someone stumbled and he caught her and Sarah went “his sunball reflexes” HES A WOLF HE WAS ALWAYS GOING TO HAVE QUICK REFLEXES. Had him running up and down to resurrect Sigrid and in the end it DIDNT EVEN MATTER.

Lmaoooo Ithan mostly acted ago appropriate if I think about it. He's like 20 I'm assuming since he's around college age. He's def not my favorite character either tbh. Love how everything fell into his lap tho. Literally anytime he was mentioned so was snuball it was so fucking dumb.

I know you like Tharion but can he do anything right omg. Ithan carried him with the Viper Queen. Sathia carried him in front of the Ocean Queen 😭 I WAS SO PISSED ABOUT THE ANTIDOTES OMG and then Ithan went and did the same. I see why they are best friends like wow stupid really follows stupid.

LMAO I love Tharion, yes he'd definitely dumb and needs to make better decisions but I liked how witty he was in the first book. He really needs to stop with the whole woe is me act tho. omg the antidotes shit don't even get me started. half of the stuff that she wrote for the book didn't even matter in the end. like, we could've cut this damn book down 300 pages tbh, nothing would've been missed because nothing made sense even.

I don’t hate Bryce. She did annoy me though. I hated when Aelin wouldn’t tell people about her plans and could not stand it from Bryce here. Her yelling at Hunt about having to face the consequences of their actions. I’m like dude you went to another world and came back powered up. Hunt stayed and was tortured brutally like what? I know why she doesn’t want him to have guilt about it but it’s his 3rd time going through this and failing. And now he has more to lose. Of course he would be feeling a type of way.

I do not like her at all lol. The whole not telling people plans things pissed me off because her loud mouth is not like that. AND THEN SHE HAS THE AUDACITY TO TELL HUNT "OH YOU DONT EVEN WANT TO BE HERE" girl maybe if you told someone the fuckin plan they would feel a bit more confident about going through with it for fucks sake. she's a mean girl and i can't stand her and i don't think she's funny at all she is so cringe to me haha. HUNT HAS ALREADY TRIED GOING AGAINST THE ASTERI AND HE WAS TORTURED FOR 200 YEARS?! Then he gets freed and has to do it all over again?! Like, why are we yelling at this man? of course he's weary.

I’m not the biggest fan of her swagger at times. Like sometimes we don’t need the quippy (read: unfunny) one liners :/

LITERALLY

The STAKES???? Bryce should’ve stayed dead! It would have been a lot more impactful. Even the torturing scenes kind of didn’t hit as much after the fact cause everyone can just regrow their limbs and be fine. No one had a single nightmare about what happened to them? I thought we would see something like that beyond “a glimmer of darkness in his eyes” idk :/

The entire "someone dying only to be brought to life on the next page" has definitely fucking worn off now but sjm apparently can't see that. she created a world with 50+ characters only to not use half of them when it matters. so stupid. Also, i don't remember them being able to regrow limbs tbh.

Maybe the book would’ve been too long but I was genuinely shocked we didn’t get more scenes of anyone on the actual battlefield. We were mostly in the palace after Bryce and Hunt teleported, and then the moment with Lidia and the sprites. But maybe the book would’ve been too toooo long idk.

Yeah there really was only like 60 pages of the end scene. but as soon as i saw the word space i actually almost DNFd it because what the actual fuck was that.

I will say I really like how the male friendships are genuine. I honestly can’t tell you that Bryce, Fury, and June are friends LMAO. (I’m exaggerating but I do kinda agree with this) .

Yeah, i love Ruhn, dec, and flynn's relationship. i think sjm tries to be like "oh yeah girl power, strong fmc's" but there's no women in the books? and they all don't like each other? like danika, bryce, fury, and juniper seemed like mean girls? girls that didn't give a fuck about anyone else? idk. the way that the men to women ratio in her books is very interesting to me. and the fack that EVERY man that comes across bryce thinks she's the most gorgeous girl to have ever lived...fuck off with that logic.

My girl Jesiba :////// She was my favorite for sure. I'm indifferent about her lol. Her entire storyline i feel was just made up like two months ago so she could connect to the other series lol

I do agree with what you said about Bryce (I legit almost wrote Aelin LMFAO) . I was not expecting her to just say no rulers for the Fae at all. But I guess a Senate would be more democratic.

SO STUPID. The Senate (starwars)

Im sure there will be a fourth book but I am so uninterested in Tharion and Ariadne like who caresssssssss. If Im interested in Ithan, it’s because I want to see more Perry. I wonder how connected this world and ACOTAR will remain.

I honestly hope it ends at 4 books. I think that would be a perfect ending because there's four houses. no need for more im already sick of it. yeah i liked perry too. i hope they're no longer connected lol.

Ruhn and Lidia :) but HE LEGIT SHOT HER?? I know she was acting irrationally because of her sons and he wanted to make sure she didn’t get herself killed but then he shot her. Like okay 😭. I think my favorite couples are Bryce’s parents and Lidia and Ruhn. Ruhn just seems so hot 😭.

Ruhn is a winner for sure for sure.

I’m writing too much and I’m scared this app will just shut down so I’ll quit here. I still think the first book is the worst one in this series. But I had fun with this one (despite my hang ups) and I’m glad it’s over (for now :/).

THANKS FOR LETTING ME RANT!!!

THANKS FOR LETTING ME RANT TOO!

CC anon!! I went to goodreads to read reviews of the book and I genuinely cannot believe how many 5 star ratings this book got. I mean, I can and can’t believe it. Atp anything Sarah puts out will average at least a 4 star rating on there and sell a crap ton.

I think people just give her that rating because she's popular, not because they read lol. oh yeah, why do you think she released 5 different bonus chapters. talk about a greedy cash grab. that mentality kinda makes me sick im not even going to lie.

I was reading through the 2-star reviews and someone mentioned their shock at how quickly Ruhn and Lidia resolved their issues which I totally agree with. She said she hated him and would never forgive him for what he did, and she was right! I know why Ruhn did it, but I genuinely still cannot believe he actually shot her, even if she was gonna be okay. That’s a terrible time to be worrying about a wound like that when you want to be at full strength to fight for your children.

Yeah half of the plot lines felt stupid? like what? he couldn't have stopped her any other way...really? i feel like she did not think this book through as well as she thought she did tbh. seems to be her thing these days.

(Even when Hunt said he hated Bryce for stopping him from killing Celestina, I was like Oh!)

OMG THAT WAS ACTUALLY WILD. YEAH OKAY. I TOTALLY BELIEVE THEY'RE MATES.

The reviewer said Sarah should have left their relationship on the rocks so we could get Ruhn groveling in the fourth book, and I can’t get that idea out of my head. ESPECIALLY with their bonus scene. Idk if you’ve read it but I was like ??? I like them as a couple and I like their story, but it did seem like it was all patched up insanely quickly. Like if you shot me then the very LEAST you could do is get my kids to safety. That alone would not necessarily make me forgive you.

I didn't read their bonus chapter but i can't believe they moved in with each other literally after like two days of knowing each other in real life. bro, you just found out she has two kids? you don't know the woman at all lol. no, everyone has to have a happy ending by the last page of the book or else. lol. no suspense.

[trippymockingquake]

This will be long feel free to keep scrolling in just talking.

😐Well it’s unfortunate that the US is out of the women’s World Cup this game to me looked way more like a team then they have this whole tournament. I had previously stated that if they continued to play the way they had the past three games Sweden would take them out. While Sweden didn’t do extremely well the US looked so much more like a team and that’s what makes me happy. I’m critical of any and all teams win or lose or draw because I’m well aware of players and teams and what they can do. I knew the US could do better than what they did even without Vlatko.

Unfortunately for the team it was a little too late in the tournament for them to look dominant (yes I know it was a close game). Before anyone comes at me about calls not being made for them, calls were also not made for Sweden. Hopefully Vlatko will be fired 😃but if he isn’t I really to hope the girls take initiative and do more team bonding when they get called up because all of them are extremely talented and can go far they just need to figure it out on the field and build chemistry with players they may not frequently play with. They may also need to just ignore vlatko 😒(like seriously if you know he’s being dumb just ignore him you really only need him for subs) and play the game the way they know how to (also Lindsey if we’re going to be captain just stay mad 😡 and act like they’re your children since angry you does better).

To Sophia i think you may want to ask for Katie McCabes arm day workout so that maybe you don’t keep getting yeeted off the ball 😬I love the shots but I’m not loving you finding the ground so frequently. To Rodman lovely job checking on an opponent, excellent job on the pitch. To Kristie, Lynn, Kelley I’m sorry that you all didn’t get enough time on the pitch but great job and hopefully we can see you for the Olympics and maybe one final WC for the three of you. To the rest of the youngsters you played well and we’ll see you again in a WC that I’m confident in. To Naomi specifically top tier performance great job. Alyssa Naeher great job. To Julie and Crystal super proud of the performances. Sonnett and Lavelle proud of you two too. Um 😐 yeah everyone else that I didn’t see or missed the talent is top tier wish it could have shined some more this tournament but Olympics are coming. Otherwise I really liked what I saw from the team and I really wish this was how we played the start of the tournament.

Okay now I move to Sweden😃. Ladies 😒 what the actual fuck was that today?!?! Not you Musovic you did great babe, but what the actual fuck. The team had a sort of of day I guess they thought the US would play the way they had the past three games and then were like “wow 😲 they’re playing different 😧 they didn’t play like that earlier”. But um yeah I… I don’t know what that was. To Lina Hurtig babe 🙃 why can’t you play like this at Arsenal like why… why have I never seen you play like that… could you… could you maybe play like that at Arsenal? Thanks. Okay well I’m yeah Sweden y’all… y’all did um well that… um let’s do better than that next time. The team really did just do a bit poor and they did struggle but this whole tournament they’ve looked great.

*deep sigh* While I wanted the US to lose for not showing up and showing out in the group stage and showing off the talent we have it hurts and sucks when you see the team you were hard on finally show up. But it’s okay olympics are around the corner and I know they’ll make a comeback and be the team we know they can be.

And before you come at me I have multiple teams I’m rooting for and most the time it’s not even really the whole team just some players but I love football(soccer if that’s what you call it). Anyways loved the match and love the teams it’s been exciting so far.

[medicinemane]

Went on a long rant about thoughts on minecraft and stuff I did today (summary, end busting is not fun to me but I did it and should be closer to updating the server), so putting it under a cut

Well... did some end busting as a means to try and get bane of arthropods V... got a sword with IV so... mhh... might be able to work with that with how the snapshot is broken?

...yeah, looking at how combining stuff in an anvil works (something I never do) it looks like if I duplicate the bane IV onto another sword and then combine them that could work... I'll do some thinking

This whole thing is basically a resource dump to have something that will be as useful as those armorstands with jack o' lanterns on their heads and will be used... more or less the same way, so I kinda don't mind cheating a little with how I do the enchantments when I'm... cheating to do extra good enchantments as a trophy anyway

I'll deal with it in a bit, but we're getting closer to being able to update... I think (wish mojang wasn't always doing stuff that made me say "no, I don't want to update yet", wish I was always like "oh boy, can't wait to be on the latest version")

Anyway, that's update stuff

Thing two is with all the armor and shit you find out there in the end city it's like... oh yeah... villagers being able to sell you armor without a diamond cost was way too op! We need to give the power players something to use their diamonds on! ...because they won't just go end raiding or build a tunnel bore

Like dude, all the changes you did to villagers just make life harder for the more casual players, minecraft is not a good game to balance around the power players cause uh... you can't

You can make a world eater, you can build your redstone wiring out of diamond ore... there's a caliber of minecraft player that's fucking insane (which I'm probably closer to than a normal player at this point despite how slow I am at motivation) and the fact that some of them keep asking the game to be balanced around them is silly (sorry, I love you Cub, but if mojang listened to you ever and made it so we couldn't build on the nether roof I'd be pissed, not even cause of farms but cause that's part of my canvas)

It's dumb, it's not worth balancing, people do challenge runs of all kinds of games all the time, if villagers are too op to someone they can do a "beating minecraft without villagers" world and it's fixed (for me, villagers being op helps my brain focus cause I'm not worried about wasting this or that, I know I can just get it)

So that's thoughts on balancing minecraft with stuff like villagers or diamonds

Final thing, hate end busting. Miserable. Zero fun for me

Went and bridged to an end city (using the seedmap to find it, fucking not dealing with that) and that was negative fun but at least... let's say character building

Fighting shulkers is a pain, can't wait to have a farm. Yeah I don't carry a bow but... they don't seem fun to fight with one either

Got an elytra, went back home, enchanted it, flew out across the void (to do it once), flew from city to city looking for bane of arthropods V while nabbing elytra and whatever else I saw, and... it just was not remotely fun to me

So I'm not gonna be doing that, I can say that much. Just not something I enjoyed

Not even cause it was stressful or something, it was boring to me and unfun fighting shulkers for meh loot. That's how it felt to me and that's what wasn't fun

Like I get why other people like it, but I'm in the mood to say they're wrong and their taste is invalid. I won't say that, but I'm in the mood to. Farming them will be a pain, but that sounds way more fun... I think cause that's something concrete with a beginning, middle, end, and permanent pay off once it's done where as... mhh...

End busting is like match making pvp, to me pointless and annoying and a waste of my time even if I win. That's the feel it has. Whereas the farm is a thing I'll be able to go over to and turn on like a water fountain if water fountains killed shulkers

So I don't want to say something like "tonight sucked", but what I'll say is tonight was filled with what turns out to be my least favorite stuff to do in minecraft, setting up to deal with mojang annoying me with things they do in updates, and also I want to complain about the kinds of changes the make

(Bonus complaint, watching other people play with armadillos I think armadillos were badly implemented. They're cute, but they're kinda pointless other than... if you want to use them in a perpetual torture farm to spawn silverfish; and worst of all they drop stuff on the ground. Which is... an issue kinda shared by most all minecraft mobs)

(Anyway my real complaint is I don't like the mob vote, that's actually what I'm saying with the armadillo bit. They come up with 3 cool ideas, and then add a really shallow version of one of them and it's like... I'd be a lot less annoyed if that aspect weren't there, or if they slowly would add in the other mobs that didn't win the mob vote. Every mob would have the same problem the armadillo does, and visually I like it but... like... everything but frogs really, it ends up pretty pointless and to salt the wound they make a mess)

I love minecraft, I really do... but... I don't always love mojang and a lot of that is probably not loving microsoft puppeting them, but some of it's probably just mojang too

It's a fun game, but tonight wasn't fun. Maybe later it will be, but this was just unsatisfying busy work

[ptergwen]

hi uhm could you maybe write a blurb based on this tiktok? https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMeUVgjaS/

i love your writing!! 🤍

thank you lovely <3 i watched this and then i just stared at my phone and then i had to come here and write it because WOW? we’re going with peter

this is like very suggestive but i changed it a bit

prompt: you’re playing video games with your crush and his friends. you’re sitting on his lap and you lost. you’re bouncing and... you’ll see

“fuck!” mj yells at you, fingers digging into her controller. “i said go left!” “i did go left!” you insist and try to run from the explosion coming your way. “oh my god, no! not your left, my left!” she leads your characters out of the building with her lip between her teeth.

you’re playing one of peter’s and ned’s video games, but you’re not sure which. call of duty or something. all you know is, there’s lots of guns and yelling. also, that you suck at it. mj hasn’t been shy about telling you. she’s on your team, peter and ned versing you two. they’re worlds better because they play literally all the time.

tonight was supposed to be boy’s night until you crashed and brought mj along. ned was slightly annoyed at first. peter didn’t mind one bit, welcoming you in with a big cheesy grin. after talking it over, ned agreed to let you stay on the condition that you joined their game. it’s better with more players, anyway.

“oh, yeah. go a little slower,” mj huffs and continues running to the exit. you’re way behind her. “there’s an option to run, by the way.” “you think i know how to use that?” you retort, shifting on peter’s lap to get a better view of the tv. there wasn’t enough room on the couch, so this was the solution. your idea, for the record.

“peter, can you help me? i have no idea what i’m doing,” you nearly whine. his eyebrows furrowed, he looks from his controller to yours. “uh, yeah. you see those buttons at the top? you just-“ “dude!” ned scolds him. “you’re supposed to help me, not her!” they’re the ones who are trying to blow up you and mj. he sets off a few gunshots for emphasis.

“ok, ok. sorry. i’m on it.” peter starts to chase after you and mj again. he drops his voice to a whisper. “press the triangle, you’ll speed up,” he tells you so ned doesn’t hear. “thanks, pete. you’re really good with your fingers, huh?” you shoot him a small smirk, catching up to mj. he gulps and keeps his eyes glued to the screen.

there’s always been some... tension between you and peter. the truth is, you like him a lot. you want to do more on his lap than just play video games. he likes you times ten, though he’s not thrilled you chose right now to act on it. your constant flirting and moving around is becoming hard to handle. that’s not the only thing becoming hard to handle.

peter must have zoned out because he tunes back in to see game over on the tv. “no, no, no!” mj cries out and slams down her controller. “fuck you guys for real.” it sounds like him and ned won. “good one, dude!” ned reaches over mj to give peter a high five, who halfheartedly reciprocates. “i’m being player one from now on, look what happens!”

you glance at peter over your shoulder through dangerous eyes. “nice job,” you hum, leaning back ever so slightly. “thank you... thanks,” he simply replies. his mind is getting foggy with your body pressed into his like this. “is there a rematch? how does this shit work?” mj demands, scowling at the title card that displays your loss.

“we can go again, if you really want to.” ned beams and stands up from the couch. “let me get a victory snack first, though.” he ventures into the kitchen, mj side eyeing you and peter. “fine, but we’re switching partners. the lovebirds against you and me.” you turn to face her, your hips rutting against peter’s... oh. he prays to every god you don’t feel that.

“don’t call us that. we prefer lovers,” you joke back. “we do?” peter squeaks, earning a curious look from ned in the kitchen. he clears his throat promptly. “i mean, we do. totally. yeah. that was... funny, y/n.” “ok, it’s getting weird,” mj announces, hopping to her feet. “i’m gonna go raid your fridge, thanks. bye.”

once she’s gone, you spin around so you’re face to face with peter. all that freed up space on the couch, yet you’re still in his lap.

“so... that was odd. are you okay?” you wonder, moving so your legs are on either side of him. it’s more comfortable that way. for you, at least.“um, i’m fine. could you maybe just stop doing that?” peter winces and sets his hands on your hips. “doing what? i’m only sitting here.” you tilt your head to the side. you’re either playing dumb or actually oblivious.

“if you mean the flirting, i thought you liked it. i didn’t know i-“ that’s when you finally feel it. or rather, you feel peter. “shit,” you mumble to yourself. peter eases you back a bit with a pained smile. “i’m so sorry. i didn’t even realize i was...” you trail off, putting a hand on his chest to steady yourself. his cheeks burn bright pink.

“no, you’re fine. i’m the one who should be sorry,” peter nervously chuckles and squeezes your hips. “this is probably creepy... and gross. am i freaking you out?” “it’s normal, and you’re not,” you assure him with a smile. your free hand cups one of his warm cheeks, cool in contrast. “you do like the flirting, then?”

“love the flirting,” peter practically purrs at your touch. his grip on you becomes rougher as he’s reminded of his little friend. well, not little. “listen... i’m cool with playing another game,” he starts, eyes locking with your dazzling ones. “unless you wanna help me out. could be fun.” you lick across your lips, ready to go.

“which one’s your room again?”

when ned and mj come back to an empty couch riddled with the smell of musk, they can’t say they’re surprised.

[saksukei]

tsukkishima kei as a boyfriend

others; ushijima | tanaka | kuroo | oikawa

TSUNDERE MFER

he hates how he's so in love with you

literally omg

he straight up confesses that he likes you and if you say it back HE'LL GET SO RED

“y-yeah well, everyone likes me.”

constant teasing™

holding things above your head

if you're tall or even taller,,, it does not matter he will still do the same,,, he just lives for being a pain in your ass

calling you a dumbass in case you forget your homework then handing you his to copy it down

scolds you for not taking care of yourself,,,,,, while he makes soup in the kitchen and then cuddles with you the entire time afterwards

lending you his jacket when he sees you shivering all the while saying he might die trying to save your ass and you're a disappointment lol

he cannot believe you'd come to attend his matches because he thinks he's a shitty player

but if you cheer for him loudly

he'll get so giddy and try to fight back a smile

and all the boys are like ‘holy shit– tsukkishima is a,,,,, simp?’

shares headphones with you

makes you playlists all the damn time

even has playlists for every mood of yours on his phone

he uses pet names like ‘dumbass’ or ‘idiot’ but when you're not listening he calls you his ‘baby’ and he even has your name saved like that on his phone (the volleyball team found out because of hinata, the loudmouth and he had to threaten all of them into not telling you)

call him your boyfriend or babe and watch THE EGO BOOST

dates consist of star gazing,,,, doing your own things like you're painting and he's doing his homework in the same room,,,,, watching sunsets from this secret spot he found,,,, going to the grocery store together

he doesn't mind initiating skin ship but only in an appropriate setting,,,

his favorite place in the entire world is your shoulder literally

he lives for putting his head in the crook of your neck,, especially when he's sad and doesn't feel like talking

he loves! loves how you smell,,,, not in a creepy way but you know how everyone has that one particular perfume? yeah he loves your perfume because it's very nostalgic and it reminds him of all the times he's been happy because of you

he is a cuddle bug but will not admit it

“tsukki do you want to cuddle?”

“if you want to, then I'm okay with it.” is his reply

he loves wrapping his arms around you like you're a ball of fluff omg must protect

and if something is wrong with you,,, he'll know what's up

and then he'll trap you into his arms between a wall and make you tell him

HE GETS RED AFTER YOU KISS HIM BUT HE TRIES TO PLAY IT OFF AND HE SUCKS AT IT

fights only happen when he's stressed out or when he doesn't see things from your perspective

he doesn't know how to talk about stuff and it just builds up so it's bound to come out in one way or the other

but he knows the line

very well

yeah he does get rude and even crosses it at times

and it'll take some time for him to cool off

but the minute he does,,,, he's right there,,,, saying sorry and continously hugging you doing anything and everything he can to get you to forgive him

I know a lot of people say he's stubborn and stuff,,,, but when tsukki trusts you,,, he will do anything in his power to never let you down or hurt you,,,, and this shows how comfortable he is

the last thing tsukki would want would be to be an asshole boyfriend

I feel like since he's not that expressive,,, you need to talk everything out with him because tsukki over thinks a lot to be honest

he'll have things replay in his head over and over again

like that time when he said something rude to you in an argument

and he still hates himself over it

he needs reassurance

cause

you're one of the best things that ever happened to him and he isn't ready to lose you

also watches you do dumb things oh god and makes videos of them,,,, he has a shit ton of embarrassing videos of you and if you ever catch him doing something embarrassing and take a photo

oh boy he will chase you around the entire house

he'll throw you over his shoulder or pin you down and tickle you till you give into deleting it

all in all,,, yeah he's rough and tough around the edges but he's warm and fuzzy on the inside,,,,, you just need to stick around to get to the good part

[moxfirefly]

Good afternoon, this has been in the works for a while now and I finally got around to finishing it and being pretty content of it (this is gonna go up on AO3 soon along with the others that aren’t request) but I wanted to post it here first. Enjoy!

Rated Explicit (18+ only)

“Wish you were here right now

All of the things I'd do”

Gaming was always an escape.

From childhood to adulthood. There was some gaming equipment in your hands, controls, handhelds, keyboards and so on. There was just something calming about entering a fantasy world and immersing yourself in scenery and stories that made you stray from bad days and long nights.

For Donatello it was the same.

On one of his many supply scavenges Splinter had found a dumpster near a toy store that was going out of business. It was a memorable haul for them. What they expected to be routine things mixed with some type of groceries had turned into literal Christmas in July. Stuffed animals, board games, action figures and even a few gaming consoles with some cartridges and cd’s. Noticeably they were considered damaged or improperly manufactured, but they didn’t care and for Donnie he had spent a good week and a half fixing up the Nintendo and Play Station 2 consoles back into working conditions.

That alone had been plenty for him but nevertheless Mikey being so excited about playing wanted him to join him. They had played for hours and each disc or cartridge they tried out held a new story, a new set of controls to learn, new visuals and such. He was immediately hooked.

When he had gotten the first parts to start building a PC from scratch he knew there would be another world of possibilities for games.

Now gaming is a leisure for Donnie. Something he does for enjoyment and an escape when his projects become too much. The world of online gaming allowed him to also explore the possibilities of chatting with others though, the humans they were not allowed to see or speak to (with the exception of their Hogosha) but needless to say it wasn’t like Donnie broadcasted his identity and whereabouts. More so these people only came to game and speak game.

Donnie absolutely does detest the unnecessary sexism that gaming brings. Many a time he had read on chats or heard on his head set such derogatory comments thrown at female players. Never the one to stand such misogynistic behavior (he was raised better and had heard enough horror stories from April) he always shot that shit down quickly. Given his status as being far above his gaming peers he had developed respect and none of them ever shot back at him.

That’s how he runs into you.

On the opposing team nonetheless.

Once your female voice ran through the ears of the group he had been stuck in, the comments began to rain down. Some colorful, some lazy and some downright disgusting. Donnie had had enough and with some of his more illegal methods, had managed to push out the players in his party and send the audio recording to the email of the developers.

On exceptionally petty days he did far worse.

You had been stunned, wondering why the gang of immature boys had suddenly disappeared. Only one of them remained with the gamer tag specifying ‘Don_DuzMachines’ you couldn’t help but giggle at it.

You had asked if the sudden disappearance had been a weird glitch and if Don (as you assumed you should call him) had anything to do about it.

“Let’s just say I’ve got my ways” His soft voice rang through your headset.

“Well it’s hardly the first time I’ve had a gang of prepubescent boys tell me to suck their dicks” You started to move away in the map but stopped abruptly.

“Hey do you wanna play something else?” You asked tentatively. “Figured the least I can do is thank you” Donnie sat back pensively, well there was no harm in that now was there?

And so it started innocently.

Co-op games even the occasional match against one another. Each game you two always spoke through your headsets. Mostly banter about strategy or directions for who to do what or the occasional friendly jabs. You hadn’t revealed much that wasn’t the nickname you used as your gamer tag, and well Don had basically done the same.

That is until you decide to poke a little into his life. “You go to college?” You had asked, fingers gliding over the keyboard as you both partook in a raid. Donnie hadn’t expected such a question and he didn’t necessarily want to divulge much, he opted for a more ambiguous response. “I do my own studying, sort of like home schooling if you will?” Well he wasn’t wrong, Splinter had been both father and teacher to them, Donnie had just excelled more quickly and soon enough he was teaching his brothers on the academic side.

“You broke too, huh? Trust me it’s not worth the insane debt you’ll develop in six years that’ll take forty years to pay off” You chuckled with a hint of bitterness, Donnie couldn’t help but laugh and snort.

“That’s cute” You said sincerely. Donnie smiled, heat creeping up his neck.

How innocent things had been at the start.

For six months the two of you divulged little to no information. You never asked to video chat and Donnie never asked for your socials. It had just been a mutual agreement to keep the mystery that just wasn’t verbalized. Maybe it was for the better, because surely what had began as a gaming buddies situation had escalated to, well Donnie couldn’t really explain.

The first instance the two of you had been stuck on a map solving intricate puzzles. It was one of the more relaxed games the two of your partook in together when you didn’t want to deal with other players in a lobby.

“Dating apps are a nightmare, they’re only worth it for getting dumb funny stories” You had been playing but also checking some of the matches you’ve gotten on a site. Donnie swallowed, why did that settle so oddly in his stomach?

“Well any funny ones you’d like to share?” Don asked curiously hoping he wasn’t over stepping any boundaries. “One guy wanted me to cover my feet in marmalade, I really almost hit fuck it and did it” You couldn’t help but smile when Don choked, coughed and bursted out laughing.

“What kink is that even related to? I mean I know people enjoy feet but marmalade?” He was bewildered. “Come on Don don’t kink shame the poor guy, who are you to police his eclectic culinary desires?” Now the two of you couldn’t help but burst into another fit of laughter. Both your avatars were idle standing, the game somewhat abandoned in favor for the conversation.

“Hey I’m not kink shaming, we all have our weird kinks” Donnie smiled sitting back on his swivel chair. You clicked out of the dating site, chin resting on your hand. “Are we finally having this conversation? Cause I love this shit, it’s my bread and butter” You sat back in your gaming chair, tucking your knees.

Donnie felt so shy but the barrier of mistery the two of you had built urged him on. He was curious, like stupid curious what you looked like and while he had everything to figure out exactly where you were, it wasn’t morally correct for him. So why not just indulge in the conversation?

“Well it’s not feet, sorry to disappoint” He heard you laugh, an infectious sound he had grown to enjoy so much. “Feet are so passé anyways, what about bondage?” You spun slowly in your chair, the sounds of Don adjusting and clicking on the keyboard ringing in your ears.

“Bondage is a go, especially sensory deprivation” He was checking some documents April had forwarded to him in regards to a case they were dealing with, but he could multitask. You made an approving noise, nodding while taking a sip of your drink. “Into that D/s stuff?” You asked wanting to see what else he might like.

“Well yeah, but I do enjoy more um... Fem Dom stuff” He finished up the email he wrote out for April and hit send. “A man with taste, not something we get often” You chuckled but decided to add. “I wouldn’t mind having a guy submit to me” You bit the inside of your cheek a little shy suddenly.

Something about that statement made heat spread south for Donnie. The concept of being dominated? By a woman? He peaked a look behind him, pushing one side of his headset down to hear what his brothers might be up to but he heard only music and chatting voices.

“What’s your favorite thing?” He inquired almost too softly.

“Erotic ASMR” There was no trace of embarrassment in your voice and that somehow made Donnie hot.

“Maybe we frequent the same sites for that” Don boldly threw out. You made an approving face before sitting forward and typing on your keyboard. A beat or two later Donnie saw an email notification from you on one of his many burner emails. He opened it finding links to audios from various sites all catered to erotic audios. Donnie whistled, this was a gold mine and true to his predictions you did indeed have some of his favorite sites to peruse.

“It’s not just male audios by the way, there’s women too” You sat back once again, nervously playing with your hair. “Thanks... Well I do like hearing both” Donnie confessed, voice avoiding a stutter.

You grinned. Oh he was even more fun that you could’ve expected.

Curiously enough that had been the tamest experience into yours and Donnie’s sex talks. Because it hadn’t really stopped at that, they progressively escalated little by little. Fave kinks had turned to fave sites, fave sites had turned into fave videos. Donnie never pictured he’d share his hidden folder with a stranger no less.

You nor Donnie could really say how the two of you had ended up one late night, with yet another abandoned game, talking about weird but satisfying cyber sex experiences. Some of your stories had been on the more comical side but a few had riled Donnie up to the point that he couldn’t ignore it. There was a shift in your voice as well, an allure that enticed him.

“Can I be honest?” You licked your suddenly dry lips. Donnie tensed momentarily, not sure what to expect. “Of course, please” You squeezed your thighs together, ‘please’ shouldn’t sound so good coming out of his mouth. You trace lazy circles on your thighs, something pushed you. “I’m kinda turned on by this...by talking to you about all this stuff” Maybe this was overstepping it, surely there was nothing wrong between two adult friends discussing such matters.

There was no need to tell Don that you had yearned to put a face to the name. But his hesitance spoke of insecurities and you could understand that.

“I am too...” Donnie looked up at what he called a ceiling in his home, the darkness of the sewer system and concrete. He’d never have a chance with you, it was a deeply rooted desire for intimacy and if virtually he could obtain it then so be it.

For all your boldness you felt a wave of bashfulness hit, crashed around your self confidence. Then Donnie steps up and you feel your toes curl in excitement. “Do you want to have a better experience?” Donnie runs both hands down his face, who was he to provide better experiences, he’d never even physically had a partner. The slow sigh that escapes your throat is comforting static in his headset. “Yeah, yeah I really do actually” You feel a smile etch itself on your lips.

“You can call me Donnie” It’s the closest to his name, and truthfully he really wants to hear you say it.

“Y/N,” You say to which Donnie makes an approving noise, he finds your name to be pretty. He rolls it in his mouth, testing the syllables, he can envision moaning it, well he wants to moan it if he can be completely honest. He wants to put a face to that name but he quickly pushes the thought out. There’s a pregnant pause where neither of you engage or make the first attempt. Not wanting to let this mood flee, Donnie swallows and closes his eyes. The hum of the abandoned game grounding him.

“Say my name again” It’s not a forceful demand, all the contrary he wants to hear the pitch in your voice when you say it, he wants to picture how each tone would variate depending on what he would do or say. “Donnie...” You smile to yourself when you say it, a hint of desire nestled in it and Don notices that and wants more of it.

There’s a lengthy sigh from your behalf, hands wandering up your thighs towards your chest. “I’d like to be there right now, would like to say it against your lips” Your bold confessions makes Donnie’s pulse quicken. He runs a ghosting touch up his plastron, the vision of a delicate hand doing it. The imaginary weight of you on his lap grinding down on his hard member. Donnie grips himself through his shorts a soft groan escaping his parted lips.

“Want you to kiss me” He swallows dryly, the approving noise you make pushing him forward. “Feel your lips all over, feel your mouth around me...” He lifts his hips, hand cupping himself and the small hitch in your breath is a sound he wants permanently recorded in his brain.

“God are you big? I bet you are” You kneed your breast, thumb and forefinger pinching the sensitive nubs until they’re perked. Donnie smirks to himself, freeing his aching member and looking down at himself. Mutant genes aside he feels somewhat shamefully proud of his cock, he wonders if you would like it... deeply buried within you. “Yeah I am, I think you can take it something tells me” You catch that teasing tone and the urge to swallow him whole and make him see stars is too much.

Your hand finds its way into your underwear, the warm wetness making you moan as you tease your middle finger between the lips to find your sensitive nub there. You bite back another lengthy moan but recover enough to breathlessly say, “oh fuck, Donnie” and that very sound makes him shiver. Never did he think he’d hear something so temptingly good, said with such sincerity. God the things he would do to smell your arousal right now, to taste the wetness. “Push two fingers in slowly” Donnie almost pleas, his voice shakey, hand pumping his cock at a steady pace. You do as he wishes, your gutted moan making more precum gather at the tip of his member.

“God-shit- you sound so good, wish you were riding my big dick right now” He wants to chastise himself for saying something like that, but he can’t deny that statement shakes something in you. He can hear it, the sound of your fingers mixed with a continuously rising string of moans. “Ohmygod” Words tumble out strewn together by your pleasure. “Donnie please, please fuck me harder” That alone makes him sit up and push forwards, one hand on his desk as the other works himself up in upward twisting strokes.

Donnie can’t erase the idea of slamming into you right here on his desk, maybe bent over, maybe you’ll let him cum on your face...

He pushes the idea away, he can’t envision your face now, not right now, not when your moans have you sounding this deliciously in need. You’re plunging two fingers into your core as your free hand runs firm circles around your clit. “Christ Donnie you sound so good baby” You moan, perspiration covering your body and Donnie can only groan his approval.

There’s a few minutes where it’s just the two of you lost in your own pleasure together. The constant chants of ‘fuck’ and ‘god’ and ‘yes’ mixed between the two of you. “Say it... again” Donnie groans out, hand quickening, briefly gathering some saliva and letting it fall on his hard member for better traction. “Don-oh, Donnie cum in me!” You’re so far gone, not caring what comes out of your mouth. The wet sounds in your head set and a vibration you figured could be static mixed with his groans was all you heard.

Donnie’s hips twitch, feels that request swim inside of his brain and the image of burying himself as deeply as you could take is all he needs. Just as your moans rise in crescendo he feels the first twitch and relief of his orgasm overtake him. He’s never felt it hit him this hard it knocks the wind out of him, each rope shooting out onto his hand and floor. In his minds eye though, it’s your suffocating heat taking it, milking him until he’s a shivering mess. It plays perfectly like a movie, he swears he can even feel your lips at his neck and arms holding him tight.

Your sounds are enough to keep him stroking, the way your voice pitched up with the sound of his name entwined, forever recorded in his brain. Your entire body tensed to the point of uncomfortable but it was impossible to stop abruptly when he sounded so lost in you. Your leg shakes and stiffens and it takes every inch of control to not become liquid and slip away into comforting bliss.

Eventually the sounds of heavy breathing slowly but surely settling are the only things the two of you can hear in your ears. There’s a mess, for you and for him. The understanding of things transpired crossing each of you two’s brains. Should you speak first? Should he?

“Um, you with me?” You settle, skin sweaty and mouth dry. There’s movement on the other line, a quiet cuss here and there and you smile. “Yeah, sorry just... made a mess” His voice has that sheepish tone and you can’t help but chuckle.

“Great thing about being a girl, we can conceal the evidence better” You stretch your aching legs enjoying each joint pop. “The female anatomy never seizes to amaze me, trust me” Donnie leans back in his chair, napkin cleaning any other soiled spot.

The silence was somewhat comfortable, the buzzing of good chemicals slowly settling.

“Was this okay?” He asked, hesitant tone in your ears.

“More than okay if you ask me” You kept it light not wanting him to feel odd or even ashamed.

You ventured on slowly, forming the question in your brain and bouncing it back and forward with a swallow. “If, and I mean if you want to, we can maybe do this from time to time” You worried a thumbnail between your teeth. Donnie’s gaze watching the idle screen of the abandoned game, he thought hard but briefly.

“I... yeah I would” He smiles to himself, even if the nagging thought that this might not last clutches the back of his mind. Why ruin a good thing? This was good more than good and you suggested to continue.

He doesn’t want to preoccupy his brain with scenarios, or if that dreaded ‘let’s meet’ sentence decides to cross your lips. If this is the inch of intimacy he gets to have and it’s with you, who he has grown so fond of, then he’s selfishly taking that inch and guarding it with his life.

Mutely you both remain on the line, no words spoken from the agreement, just simply enjoying that the two of you were present.

Even if not physically.

[jschlattsbabydoll]

Ocean Away Part 2 (Chishiya Shuntaro x Reader)

A/N: Hi! How are you? 

Sorry for the delays for part 2. But here you are 😊

I’m sorry if the story felt rushed, but I would be editing the story once it has been finished for a more detailed version of the story.

Thank you so much for the support for part 1. The notes on this one is amazing currently at 119 notes…. Thank you so much! Hopefully part 2 won’t disappoint.

And I want to tag @eggbutnotyolk and @kaiorik​ , Thank you for commenting and the support! <3

I won’t take so much of the space here.

Please enjoy part 2! :)

 -----+------

“Far away, an ocean away. Where I won’t let you hurt me again.” – Loreen, Ocean Away.

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 “Don’t leave me.”

 “I won’t.”, You lied.

  Around 12 noon, you awoke from your bed. You around your room to see a note on the bedside cabinet,

“I will be meeting up with Kuina for just a bit.” – Chishiya. 

Then suddenly memories of last night came rushing back on your mind…

You’ll be leaving Chishiya.

Suddenly tears fell down your body, with the memories of last night, your talk with your uncles and after that with him… It was so fucked up on how much you doubt your plan right now. Is this how he can easily manipulate you into thinking things? 

Every night that you two have been together, his body is so warm that you love being with him, but the feelings he portrays, they lack emotions, it was so cold that she would give so much time and space. She would always wait for him to come to her instead.

The game that he plays is dangerous. He is willing to give up everything, even her.

*Flashback*

“Chishiya! Help me! I’m drowning!” you looked at the man you loved the most, he looked back with the coldest eyes that you have ever seen, then he took off.

You screamed loudly for his name, but he didn’t come back.

“Y/N!!!” you heard someone scream your name, hoping that it was Chishiya that he might just went and took some back up.

As you slowly went down, you felt someone pull you from the water, as you were place on land, you coughed hard and tears started to form from your eyes, it suddenly hurt to breathe in and out, but you needed to breathe.

You quickly look at the person who saved you. It was Arisu.

“Arisu…” You said as you slowly started to cry, you couldn’t even form any sentence right now with the outburst of feelings that you have inside, “I.. I thought… I… No…Chishiya… Why?” you tried to speak, as you looked into Arisu’s eyes for answers. You suddenly grabbed Arisu’s sleeves for support. You saw in his eyes that he was worried and pained with the panicked and crying form that you are in.

“Why?! Arisu… Arisu….? Chishiya… left me….”  You continue to break down, you let go of Arisu’s sleeve and you placed both hands on your face.

Arisu suddenly hugged you, “I’m sorry… This is all I could offer you.”

The sadness, dread, disappointment, and the pain are now mixing all in together. Now all you could think of is wishing that you died than suffering under Chishiya’s side.

 “why?” you said through tears with the only answer is pure silence.

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 “HATTER! HATTER! HATTER!” Everyone screamed and cheered their leader, who was leaving for a game with Aguni and you. Your uncle waved from the back seat and smiled at everybody for their immense support, 

While your Uncle Aguni drove the car, you sat on the passenger seat. While the car is slowly leaving the Beach’s premises. You through the crowd and saw him. 

He looked at you eye to eye, but you removed you eyes from his gaze. You didn’t want to leave him, but staying with him hurt a lot more. 

As your uncle Aguni drove off, you uncle Hatter looked at you, “don’t be sad, my child. I know that the beach has everything you need and can ever ask for this world. But, remember, if you need some space from the people within my walls, you can always go a different location.”

You nodded your head, “Thank you Uncle Hatter and Uncle Aguni.”

“Just a bit of wait. We’ll be out of this country and we can have our lives back.” Aguni said as he took a turn to the arena, a school building. 

“After this game, we will be driving you off to your hiding spot. It would be from the other side of Tokyo near Shibuya… We will keep track of you now and then. You will be joining games from the other side, just let us know what is going on, what games you played and what card you have received.” Hatter has explained, “And just to completely hide your identity from other players, you might need to change your hair color or maybe let you wear a mask.” 

“Anyways, the place that we have chosen is near a mall, but we would still be providing for you as promised once we visit you again.” Aguni added,

“Noted.” You answered, as you got out of the car. You opened the car door for you uncle and helped him out, “Uncle Hatter, having a hard time getting out of the car?”

“I’m almost at my 30’s dear. I’m getting old.” He joked, “Wish I could go back to the simpler days.”

You smiled, “30 is not old uncle. Besides, you are still so full of life.”

As your Uncle Aguni got out of the car, “By the way… I followed your plan.” He said while looking at Hatter, “As dangerous as it sounds, but I told Niragi about the plan.”

Niragi wasn’t a good person. You’ve had some issues with Niragi and his awful behavior. Your uncle Aguni has explained and made it very clear with Niragi that you cannot be touched by him in anyway. You two had a very civil talk once after a game where you saved him from being mauled by a tiger, because he lost bullets from his riffle.

He became honest with his feelings that he didn’t thought that someone would save him.

Later he opened up being bullied in class, being thrown by rocks and there is a point system in it. You would always remember his glasses were 50 points and his crotch area is 100 points. He didn’t have any friends at all and even if people would see him being beaten up, no one came to his aid.

 “I know that you don’t see me as your friend. But hiding from a sadistic silhouette won’t give you happiness. Yes, people are afraid of you, but that doesn’t ease the pain. I know, what they have done in the real world is wrong and un humane. But in the end of the day, you’re just human. We all have scars. And if you keep that inside, you’ll go insane… Actually, you are already. But, don’t go down further, Niragi. If you want someone to let out your outburst inside, I’m here.” 

“Why do you…. Why are you so nice?” he asked,

“I don’t know. But it’s all I can give right now. You deserve it, even if you think you don’t.”

 You kept his secrets, he’s still a douchebag with others after your encounter with him, but he became nice to you ever since. 

Chishiya didn’t like the closeness between you and Niragi. Sometimes, he would interrupt a conversation between you and Niragi.

“Y/n… “ Chishiya said, intervening the conversation you have with Niragi, “Let’s go.” Extending his hands to hold your hand, 

“Interrupting again? You make me angry, Chishiya. “, Niragi said with full annoyance, “Jealous, because your girlfriend is so fond of me?”

“hm….” Chishiya smirked, “I trust her that she won’t fall for someone who’s dumb witted as you.”

Things escalated very quickly, with Niragi pointing his riffle towards Chishiya’s head and Chishiya with his knife on Niragi’s neck,

“I’ll blow your head up, you fucker!” Niragi angrily said,

“Not if I slit your fucking throat.”

“STOP! STOP WHAT YOU ARE DOING!” You screamed, “Stop acting so fucking childish!”

They came to their senses and placed down their weapons, Niragi huffed with annoyance, he would have killed Chishiya if you didn’t stop him.

“I’ll go with Chishiya.” You looked towards Niragi, “I’m sorry Niragi. But I’ll talk again with you, okay? “

“Okay.” Niragi said in defeat. You touched his cheeks as a form of goodbye and then you left with Chishiya.

“Niragi knows about the plan?” you asked, looking through your uncle Hatter’s eyes,

“Yes. He’s like a back up that we have. He seems so fond of you, If ever that we can’t go towards your location due to meetings or maybe emergencies, we can secretly asked Niragi’s help.”

“Oh, at least… I have someone to talk to…” you said within you mind,

You started to walk with uncle to face the game that you will be all joining.

Hopefully, no one dies during this game.

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~Time Skip~

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 You three finished the game and was granted 6 days of visa. You all drove off near Shibuya, and they have sent you to your new location. It was a hotel, it was two blocks away from a mall, which can give you supplies for your stay here. 

You Uncle Aguni has handed you a walkie talkie, and tested it with his, Hatter and one of the Walkie for Niragi.

“You sure, you’ll be okay without us, dear?” Hatter asked once more,

You smiled, “Yes… I will be. I can talk to you any time with these walkie talkies. And If ever I’ll just give you a beep.” Then you hugged your uncle Hatter and then your Uncle Aguni.

“I know that you’re just keeping quiet, but you’ll miss me too, Uncle Aguni.” You teased, he smirked,

“Don’t get too cocky…” He said, but then he patted you gently on the head, “I would miss you…Just be careful here kid.”

“I will.” You smiled, after a few minutes, they were gone… Leaving you all alone.

Tears started to fall from your eyes, “I’m sorry, Chishiya…”

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 Everyone cheered on as Hatter and Aguni arrived, they chanted their names.

They went to the balcony and then Hatter raised his hands to stop the noise from the crowd below him.

He removed his sunglasses and he acted devastated…with tears on his eyes, he opened his mouth to speak.

“Thank you… Thank you for being happy that Aguni and I have come safe and sound from the war that we have joined tonight…” he said then stopped, he was now hearing whispers asking on where you are.

“You might have noticed that when we left, we have brought our precious y/n… We have a terrible news to tell… A death of an executive has happened… the death of our sweet child, y/n…”

Everybody went silent shocked to hear that one of the best players have died.

“She sacrificed her life for us… But…” Hatter wiped his fake tears on his face, “We will not let her death go in vain�� We promised that we would complete the cards and in the end; we will survive this country and get out of this soon on her behalf. We need you all to fulfill this promise for her not just for her but also for yourselves…”

Unknown to everybody, a person on the floor above the balcony has been watching the whole scene, Chishiya, who has heard the news, ran towards your room. Thinking that this might me a sick joke that Hatter has brought to everybody.

But he was greeted by an empty room.

He tried to search everywhere, but you were gone. 

He stopped looking for you and he went in front of your room door again.

He has mixed feeling about everything, he placed his hand to his chest. He felt a different kind of loneliness inside his chest.

“What would you do If I suddenly got lost or disappeared?” He remembers your question last night.

“This might be some sick joke…” he whispered to himself, “It’s impossible for you to die… not now.” As he was about to leave your door step, he saw Aguni walking towards him,

“Interesting.” He heard Aguni said while walking towards him, “what are you doing here?”

“I was just passing by.” Chishiya kept a straight face, “why did you let her die?”

Aguni smirked, “Caring now, Cheshire? It doesn’t suit you at all.”

“Hm.” Chishiya didn’t speak, but instead let Aguni walk by past him.

When Aguni was already 1 feet away from Chishiya, “Don’t fake it too much…  Isn’t this what you wanted? To see her dead? That’s why you left her in one of the games?”

Chishiya turned around to answer his question, but Aguni was gone.

 “Don’t leave me…”

 “Why?” Chishiya asked to nobody as he remembers you..

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[TBC]

[princessphilly]

Word Count: 4131

Tags:  @ohpuckyeah​, @joelsfarabee​, @besthockeyfics​. @dreamer1430​ @Defiant-Mouse @miracleonice87​ @lovethepreds​ @linkingdolans​ @chicagostylehockey​ @heatherlcrosby87​ @hockeywocs​ @shortstacks-blog​ @heatherawoowoo​ @newlibrary​ @markymarkstrom​ @iangiemae​ @puckbitchesgetmoney​ @missymore​ @himbos-on-ice​ @fiveholegoal​ @no-pucks-given​ @pagirl6866​ @willieshakesqueer​ @nazdaddy​ @whatishockey​ @alphalib22​ @romanseggy​ @laurenairay​ @texanstarslove​ @konecny-s​ @cutiesara23 @myhockeyworld87​ @extratragic​

join the tag list here!

CW: angst, angst, angst, angst, bad language, references to racism, angst.

“Bitch, if you do this, you are so dumb,” Jamila yelled over the group FaceTime. Lauren and Siobhan nodded while Karesha rolled her eyes at Nina.

Desiree stated, “You know how I feel about men butttt, you being dumb.”

“Jamila, do something dumb and take a picture with that guy you told us you fucked. I thought you said he was a hockey player. Distract the haters from Nina,” Karesha suggested.

Lauren added, “That’s a good idea.”

“Hold up, hold up, I told everyone about him because I DON’T plan on fucking him again. That dick was way tooooo good. Hell no,” Jamila exclaimed. 

Everyone snickered after that comment and Jamila pouted. Nina took in a deep breath. “I-I, I just can’t. I got people calling me all kinds of names, bitches stopping by my job taking pics, people. Then I got people who are being extra friendly to me and I just want to hide. Now, my lil cousin showed me that I got fangirls on tumblr! The hell??”

Jamila grimaced. “That’s part of fame.”

“I didn’t ask for this shit! He DIDN’T EVEN ASK ME TO BE HIS GIRLFRIEND AND NOW THE WORLD IS TREATING ME LIKE I’M HIS GIRL,” Nina yelled. 

The chat got quiet for a couple minutes before Siobhan said, “Well, that was dumb on his part. So excited to finally get a chance that he’s fucking it up. Men.”

Desiree snickered before her face turned serious. “I think our girl caught feelings too. The Nina I know normally doesn’t have to make a decision with her girls about dropping a guy. She just does it.”

“But she’s telling us because she really doesn’t want to,” Lauren said with a smirk. 

Nina glared at her friends. They weren’t getting it. But before she could say anything else, Siobhan quietly said, “I hope you aren’t comparing yourself to his teammates’ girlfriends and wives. But I think you are.”

Sighing, NIna said, “I met them and while they were mostly nice, I’m a milk dud in a sea of milk. I stick out too much. Despite what they are all saying, Sidney’s just messing with me until he finds another, more suitable blonde.”

Nina’s friends all stared at Nina over the FaceTime chat before erupting. Then Lauren finally said over the furor, “I understand… because yeah, same shit with my ex. I was good enough until he met the perfect white girl of his dreams, no offense Siobhan. But, remember that night when that guy followed me? Trust me, I saw the way Sidney fucking Crosby was looking at you. If he’s looking just to play you before finding someone else, fuck, I’ll buy you a fucking Birkin.”

“Whoa,” Jamila and Desiree both uttered. Lauren was the stingiest of all of them so for her to talk about spending thousands of dollars on something, it had to be real. 

“Yeah, that sounds nice and everything but I need a break from all of this to recalibrate,” Nina finally said. “And we were supposed to be planning our trip since we couldn’t go anywhere overseas the past two years anyway.”

“Okay, let's talk about places to go because I want to go to Thailand,” Desiree replied, allowing Nina to change the subject. 

Nina let out a breath as everyone started talking about places to visit. Before their conversation tonight, she was sure that breaking it off was a good idea. Now, she was just confused.

**

“Hi, pretty girl,” Sidney drawled over the phone. 

Nina couldn’t help the shy smile come on her face at the pet name. “Hi, Sidney.”

Sidney frowned. Nina usually called him Sid now, Sidney Crosby if she was annoyed, Mr. Crosby if she was feeling sassy. Something felt off but he decided to ignore it for now. “Mario and Nathalie wanted to know if you were available for dinner next Sunday. Nathalie would love to meet you.”

“Hmm, I have an early class Monday morning so I’d just do dinner and that’s it,” NIna said. 

Sidney inwardly sighed. Maybe Nina was off because she decided to go back to school and she was starting to get in the middle of the semester. Maybe that was it. “So, do you want to come? I’ll pick you up and drop you off?”

“Just that, I need to be able to think on Monday so you can’t stay over,” Nina joked. 

Sidney snickered. “I’m sorry baby, I’ll be good and keep my hands to myself.”

“Bullshit.”

“I’ll keep my hands to myself, pretty girl, but we both know how much you love it when I touch you. Your skin is so soft and you feel so good.”

Nina gasped and Sidney felt like he heard her try to hold back a moan. He continued, “Especially when you make those little sounds-”

“Bye Sid,” Nina said firmly, trying to keep her mind from going into the gutter. It didn’t work when he laughed and she felt her core throb. Not even that filthy and she was ready to spread her legs for him. Nina was disappointed in herself. 

Sidney responded, “Bye, pretty girl.”

**

Sidney could tell that Nina was still off during dinner with Mario and Nathalie. She was herself; sparkling, kind, and sweet but Sidney could tell that she was going through the motions. He was feeling a bit frustrated; he didn’t know what was wrong so he could fix it. But something was wrong. 

Nina was truly enjoying herself as she talked with Mario and Nathalie but it felt like something was going on that she didn’t get. Like, the way they were looking at her, it felt like she was missing something. At the same time, the Lemieuxs’ were the quintessential hosts and Nina felt honored to have even stepped foot in their home, let alone had dinner with them. 

Later that night, after Sidney and Mario had stepped out to talk hockey, Nina rubbed her eyes. She suddenly felt super tired and she didn’t know why.

“You look tired,” Nathalie commented.

Nina shrugged before replying, “It’s been a lot going on.”

“Why do I feel like Sidney, who is normally good and planning and looking at all sides, just jumped into everything with you?”

Nina looked at Nathalie. Nathalie had a sympathetic expression on her face. “It’s overwhelming, isn’t it?”

“Very,” Nina said as she looked at her nails. “I don’t even know what is going on between Sidney and I anyway.”

Nathalie had a shocked expression on her face as she stated, “I had the impression that you two are a couple?”

“Everyone says we are a couple but I was never asked about being in a couple,” Nina grumbled. 

Nathalie wanted to shake Sidney. Even though she had heard only good things about Nina, Nathalie was prepared to judge her with a clean slate. After tonight, Nathalie really liked her, especially her independent spirit, something that would be very necessary for her dealing with Sidney and his life. But now, Nathalie really wanted to shake that boy hard because like most men, he put the cart before the horse. If she was a betting woman, Nathalie would bet that Nina was going to run screaming any moment now. 

Nina continued, “I like him but.. I really don’t like him right now, do you understand?”

“I totally understand. Mario told me about all of the internet hate you’re receiving. I’m lucky that the internet didn’t exist the way it does now when Mario and I first started dating and got married,” Nathalie commiserated. 

Nina took in several deep breaths. “I know everyone has said to ignore what other people are saying but, I’m just overwhelmed, you know.”

Nathalie decided that she was going to shake Sidney the next time she saw him after tonight. ‘Poor girl,’ she thought. 

Before the conversation could continue, the guys came back in and Nathalie saw Nina shut down and paste a pretty smile on her face. Nathalie sent Mario a look of concern as she watched Nina grip her glass tight.

Sidney noticed the same thing as Nathalie when he returned with Mario. As he made their way towards Nina’s apartment, Sidney asked, “Is everything okay? You seemed stressed.”

Nina took in a deep breath. It was either now or never. “This is going too fast, I need a break.”

Sidney flushed, his hand shaking around the steering wheel. Trying to keep his voice level, he asked, “What do you mean you need a break?”

Nina took in a deep breath. “This is too much. I agreed to go out with you once and now, I’ve been introduced to all your teammate’s significant others, met Mrs. Lemieux and it’s like you’re treating me like I'm your girlfriend.”

“But you are!”

“How?! How the hell am I your girlfriend when you never ever asked me? When you assume, you make an ass out of you and me,” Nina fumed. “You put me in a situation I didn’t even agree to. I have people coming to my job just to try to get a picture of me; people who would stake out my apartment if I didn’t have a doorman and security in my building. Your team’s PR is monitoring my social media accounts because every other dm i get is the n-word.”

Sidney paled and Nina continued, “Yeah, you just realized you did all this and you didn’t even ask if I wanted to be your girlfriend.”

“I’m sorry but fuck, I’ve always wanted you to be my girlfriend. I just assumed you felt the same,” Sidney protested. 

“Sidney, it’s just TOO much. I need time to process, I need a break. A break from you,” Nina said firmly. 

Sidney resisted the urge to yell at Nina. Yes, he fucked up by not asking her to be his girlfriend before everything but at the same time, he just wanted her to listen. But Nina seemed like she didn’t want to listen to anything. So instead, he asked, “How long do you want a break?”

“I don’t know… I mean, it could be a couple of weeks,” Nina replied. 

Sidney sat there stone faced as he drove. He didn’t know what to say. Sidney could feel his heart breaking into two for the first time ever and it was painful as hell. It was even more painful than when the Red Wings lifted the Cup in his first ever Stanley Cup finals. 

Nina picked at her nails. She thought she would feel relief but now, she felt worse than before. The silence felt deafening and oppressive until they reached her building. Sidney finally said, “I’ll give you space.”

“Thank you,” Nina quietly responded. Letting herself out of the car quietly, Nina sniffled. Holding herself together, she was able to just make it inside of her apartment before she started to cry. 

**

Karesha stared at her friend, not sure if she should shake her or hug her. Nina was in her work clothes, a fake smile on her face as she let Karesha into her apartment. Terrible Tess and Steely came running up to Karesha. After giving the pets some love, Karesha asked, “What did you do?���

Nina looked to the side. “I told him I needed a break.”

Sucking her lower lip into her mouth, Karesha stared at Nina again. She needed to shake her, definitely shake her. 

“Why?”

Nina closed her eyes before flopping on her couch. Karesha sat next to her and Nina put her hands over her face. “Look at me and look at him! Sidney’s fucking rich, famous, and such an awesome hockey player. I drive an used Lexus RX, I’m broke as fuck compared to him, and I’m not the kind of woman who ends up with a guy like him,” Nina mumbled. 

Karesha closed her eyes and counted to ten. Patience wasn’t her strong suit, especially with her friend who was normally the most cool, calm, and collected out of all of them. “Nina… trust me, you know I’ve done all kinds of shit. I’ve done shit that I’ll take to the grave with me. So trust me when I say, Sidney really, really likes you.” 

Karesha almost said “loves you” but she felt like that would have been too much as Nina shook her head. Nina said, “He probably just wanted to fuck me because I was unavailable for so long.”

“Girl… if he just wanted to say he smashed, he wouldn’t have taken you to dinner with one of his best friends, the Pens org wouldn’t have gotten involved when people were calling you names online, especially Mario fucking Lemieux. He fucking told you that the Lemieuxs had invited you two for dinner before you told him you needed a break. You’re more than a fucking fling.”

“Yeah, he’d do all that and then dump me when he met someone more appropriate,” Nina argued.

Karesha shook Nina before yelling, “Stop going online where the dumb fangirls and the haters are trying to fuck with your mind. It’s all bullshit. That man would do anything for you.”

Nina sat there, stony-faced while Karesha talked. ‘Like a fucking Aries,’ she thought. ‘So fucking stubborn.’ 

“Anyway, I brought cake and let's watch some trashy shit. Which Real Housewives are we watching, Atlanta, Beverly Hills, or old school New Jersey,” Karesha finally asked, changing the subject.

Nina decided, “I’m in the mood for ratchet so Atlanta. But I can’t watch too much, I have to study.”

“Study for what,” Karesha asked as she opened a bottle of wine. 

“I decided to go back for my PhD in rehabilitative science,” Nina replied. “Two more years of school but I’m excited.”

Karesha took a sip of her wine as Nina bit into a cupcake. “When were you going to tell anyone?”

“I had told Sidney-,” Nina began before she stopped. Nina closed her eyes when she realized the first person she told about her plans to get her PhD was Sidney before telling her family and her friends.

“Umm hmm.”

Karesha gave Nina a sly glance. She decided not to push it for now but it was obvious to her that Nina was lying to herself. Karesha knew her friend; unlike herself, Lauren, and Jamila, Nina tended to fall slowly but when she fell, she fell hard. So, in Karesha’s mind, Nina had to have started falling for Sidney back when she was working at the Lemieux Center, that was the only reason why Nina went out with him after she finally fucked him. Unlike the rest of them, Nina was the best at separating sex from feelings which had made her the queen of one night stands when they were younger. Sidney Crosby had quickly become more than a one night stand which convinced Karesha that Nina had feelings. 

Even though their conversation turned to the TV, Karesha made some mental plans to help her friend get back with her man, even though Nina wouldn’t admit to herself that he was her man.

**

Two Weeks Later

Sidney really wasn’t in the mood to talk to anyone but some of the Pirates had come to the game. It was always good to be friendly with fellow athletes. But he had been in a funk ever since Nina said she wanted a break. Sidney was trying his best to give Nina space but she hadn’t even responded to his texts or calls. It felt like she was trying to break up with him and it hurt. At the same time, he didn’t want to push her. Nathalie had yelled at him and told him he had gone way too fast. But now, he felt like he was drowning and there was nothing to save him.

So, Sidney pasted in his best PR smile and mentally counted the minutes until when he could leave and drink his frustration away. Then a short Black woman stepped in front of him. Sidney bit back a curse as she looked him up and down. Then she bluntly said, “you look just as fucking horrible as Nina does.”

Geno, Tanger, and Rusty all winced. No one has brought Nina up since Sidney said she wanted a break. But their captain was going through it and it sucked. They all just hoped Sidney wouldn’t unload on the woman who they all knew was dating one of the Pirates.

Then she smiled and said, “My name is Karesha Lewis and I’m going to go and shake some sense into my bestie. Because she’s being a fucking idiot. God, she’s being an idiot right now.”

Gregory started, “Resha, what are you doing?”

But Karesha gave Sidney a sly look. “Nina’s at home, eating ice cream and torturing herself with the idea that you’ve already got a hot blonde over her and you, frankly, look like shit. But for some reason, she thinks bullshit on the internet is true and that you never really liked her.”

Sidney’s expression went from annoyance to shock to fury. “I gotta go,” he bit out.

Karesha watched Sidney go, waving. Kris looked at her, incredulous. “Do you know what you did?”

“Trust me, Nina’s too stubborn to admit she’s wrong yet and I decided to have pity on The Kid. Don’t worry, I’m going to give the best matron of honor speech ever.”

Geno snickered. “I guess Sid taking maintenance day tomorrow.”

**

Notes for her class were all over her table but Nina’s mind was elsewhere. It had been two weeks since she told Sidney she wanted a break, two long weeks. And she was pissed at herself because she was missing the fucking idiot. 

Nina missed his texts, his calls, the way he listened to her when she talked. She missed his laugh, his single-mind superstitions he followed on every gameday. The random food deliveries, as if Sidney knew she had skipped a meal for work or class or homework. The book suggestions, singing along to horrible pop music, shit that Nina knew he didn’t do around other people. Then… the sex.

Nina groaned, flopping face first into her sofa pillows. She was sure she was probably missing him more than usual because she was on her period. Today was day four after three days of a heavy flow, a blessing because it meant Nina wasn’t pregnant and that was always a threat even with condoms. “I’m just emotional,” she mumbled as she lifted herself off her face and returned to sitting upright. 

Managing to return to studying, Nina was jolted out of her reverie by the ringing of her doorbell. Knowing she didn’t order anything this Saturday night, she pulled out her trusty baseball bat while Steely stood on alert next to her. Looking into the peephole, Nina inwardly groaned when she saw Sidney standing outside of her place. “Fuck,” Nina exclaimed as she opened the door, ushering Sidney in because the idea of someone selling pictures of him standing outside of her apartment because she wouldn’t let him in was more disturbing than ignoring him. 

Sidney came in, Steely began to yap in excitement while Terrible Tess jumped off her seat on top of the window sill to walk around Sidney’s ankles. “Hi,” Sidney said. 

Nina felt a bit bad as she looked at Sidney. He looked good as ever, his salt and pepper hair hair curling attractively on his forehead and neck. But she could see the bags under his eyes and it was obvious that Sidney was keeping it together enough for the ice but he was definitely suffering.

“Hi,” Nina replied, putting her baseball bat back in place. 

Sidney looked at it before blinking his eyes in surprise. “You were really going to hit me with that?”

“I’m living alone and it’s 11pm on a Saturday night and I didn’t order anything? Yeah!”

“Thank you for not hitting me,” Sidney said sincerely. 

Nina shrugged before crossing her arms over her chest. “What brings you around here?”

“Do you really believe I was just playing with you, using you until I find someone supposedly more appropriate,” Sidney asked with disbelief. 

“I-,” Nina started but Sidney interrupted her. “Did you really think I wanted to fuck you until I found someone else? That I just wanted you because I couldn’t have you for so long?”

“Yeah,” Nina finally replied with a shrug. “Look at me and look at you and look at everyone else around you. I stick out.”

“Because you’re Black, so?”

Nina looked at the ceiling, ready to rip Sidney a new one after that statement. Closing her eyes, she counted to ten so that she could make sure she cursed him out without crying. Then Sidney said, “I mean, I’m pretty fucking clueless when it comes to race but fuck, you think that I was planning to use you because you’re Black and when I got tired, I’d go back to “my” kind,” using air quotes around the word my. 

“You wouldn’t be the first,” Nina said. 

Sidney closed his eyes. Emotions weren’t the easiest for him but he knew he couldn’t fuck this up. Moving closer to Nina, he grasped her hand. “Look at me, pretty girl.”

Nina closed her eyes before looking at Sidney. Sidney quietly stated, “No one has made me feel the way that you do. You are one of the kindest, intelligent, sweet, and loving women I’ve ever met. You are the literal sunshine and I’d be the biggest fucking fool to dump you for someone else now that I’ve actually had the chance to be with you.”

“And you… all this shit got dumped on me and you didn’t even ask me to be your girlfriend,” Nina complained as Sidney rubbed her hand. 

Squeezing her hand, Sidney admitted, “I fucked up. I wanted to ask that first night but then we had to take care of your friend and I, I just kept forgetting to bring it up. But, I want you to be my girlfriend.” 

Sidney already knew that he wanted Nina to be more than his girlfriend but he already fucked up enough.

Nina couldn’t help it, she had to ask, “What about with the team and everything?”

“I invested well and if I lose endorsements, fuck it. As for the team, Mario, Nathalie and the guys love you so that doesn’t matter,” Sidney firmly stated. 

After a pause, Sidney grabbed Nina’s other hand. He softly said, “I understand if you don’t want to date me, I’m sorry for going too fast. But I’d like to try again.”

“Honestly, I gotta think about it,” Nina admitted. “You’re a lot and being with you will be a lot. I’ll have to give up a lot. I have to think about how to make it work, not just for me but for my family.”

Sidney nodded. He was a bit disappointed but he also understood because he remembered how when he first became famous, it was a lot. The pressure as a teen, then making it to the NHL, the changes for his family. Sidney totally understood what Nina meant. 

Nina leaned up, pressing a kiss to Sidney’s cheek. “I’m not mad at you, at least right now. But I can’t promise you anything except I’ll call you by Wednesday,” Nina promised.

Sidney nodded before Terrible Tess started meowing. Picking up the cat, he petted her. 

“I still can’t believe she likes you so much,” Nina muttered. 

Sidney shrugged. “She knows I’m special,” he joked. 

“Give me my cat!”

Nina opened her arms and Sidney passed Tess to Nina. Awkwardly, Sidney said, “I guess I should go.”

“Yes, you should because I need to study,” Nina quipped. “I have a paper to write.”

“Ugh.” Sidney wrinkled his nose. Papers were awful. “Talk to you later?”

Nina said, “Yes, we will. Bye Sid.”

“Bye Nina,” Sidney said as he opened the door. He couldn’t help but grin when he heard Nina close and lock the door behind him. She called him Sid, that meant something good.

**

Nina slept fitfully after working on her paper. After seeing Sidney last night, she realized just how much she missed him. Nina had been that close to sliding to her knees to blow him when she saw Sidney in his suit. But that would have been a very bad idea so she didn’t do it. 

Drawing a t-chart on a piece of paper, Nina labeled one side “Pros” and the other side “Cons”. As she started to list the pros and the cons, Nina realized the list of pros was longer than the list of cons. Rubbing her forehead, Nina murmured to herself, “I’m going to have to make yoga a definite part of my life now.”

Decision made, Nina reached for her phone.

[shoichee]

potential juicy part 3: when they meet akashi again at the winter cup, reader, who now "hates" him, disrespects him to his face + pretends she doesn't care. but after kuroko reveals the whole story the night before rakuzan game, she's forced to confront the truth + they go all out against him (and win ofc) so akashi, now back to being akashi, confesses to reader, ig reader finally tells him what happened? (did i just write a wholeass fic in your askbox i am so sorry) btw tysm for the part 1!!

LMAOO THE WHOLEASS FIC SENT ME HELPP you snapped off in your request i can only deliver justice.... did i just listened to some KNB openings on repeat to manifest myself to pretend I’m the characters so I can accurately write them?.......... n-no...... part 1 here and part 2 here ^^ AND part 4 here

Akashi x f!Reader (but 99% g/n)

Part 3 

[Teiko!manager Headcanons]

shortly after Rakuzan’s victory against Shuutoku, the Rakuzan starters were walking together in the hallway to their lockers when you were blocking the way, hogging up the vending machines in the middle of the hallway to buy your teammates refreshments and snacks and then shoving them into your small backpack

Hayama impatiently yells at you to scram and Mayuzumi gives his own condescending comment, and you immediately looked up to see the infamous team

you instantly freeze up when you see Akashi in the back of the group just wordlessly staring as usual, and you just stay at your spot completely still for a while

“... Girl! Are you even listening?! Are you dumb or deaf?”

“That’s no way to speak to a girl!”

“Ow! But Reo-nee…”

“Maybe she just needs to eat? She’s probably hungry.”

“Ugh, no one else is like you, you know!”

“Tch.”

Mayuzumi merely frowns before he casually looks behind to see a rather intense aura emanating from Akashi, which is quite rare considering that you were a nobody compared to him and you weren’t someone who threatened him in any way… unless that was actually the case? but he merely observes from the shadows

“Move. You’re in the way.”

you incredulously stand up straight from his words and point a finger at him:

“I-I… I can’t believe it! This is the first thing you say to me after all this time?! Everything that happened at Teiko… was… was all your fucking fault! I hope the final game becomes your own downfall, you fucking jerk! And I hope I never see you again after tomorrow night.”

by now, you were hyperventilating from shouting at him, and the teammates were stunned… and absolutely fearful, their gazes darting back to Akashi to see his chilling gaze at you, looking quite calm

“How laughable. You haven’t changed at all, (y/n). You can believe in Seirin’s basketball all you want, say all you want, but it’s all pointless. Rakuzan will achieve victory like it always has. Now step aside.”

you only gape your mouth as you furiously huff and aggressively grab your packed bag and run, but as you dash away, you slightly stumble from the dizziness you felt from the emotional stress

ngl, Reo and Nebuya kinda pitied you watching you run

when you were gone from his field of vision, Akashi merely tells them to move onto the lockers and acts like nothing ever happened

you’ve practically convinced yourself that you truly hated Akashi for hurting Kuroko and destroying teamplay at Teiko… but in truth, you were only using him as a scapegoat to get over your unrequited feelings for him // of course the deepest part of you knew that the adults were responsible, and you knew that Akashi fulfilled his role of captain to the very end (while you meanwhile still had lingering feelings of self-doubt in your work ethic all this time)

while you were extremely happy for the Seirin team for making it to Winter Cup finals, you were so ashamed to even have the fleeting thought that you wanted Seirin to lose in the semi-finals so you didn’t have to face Akashi again

the late evening before the game tomorrow, Kuroko was in the mostly empty stadium, mostly because he wanted to reminisce about the old times before he faces Rakuzan tomorrow

it was a very unfortunate coincidence that Akashi was also there to survey the court for a moment before the game tomorrow

both of them held a long moment of eye contact before Kuroko decides to call him out

“Akashi-kun.”

“Tetsuya.”

“Have you ever had fun playing with Rakuzan?”

“To think that I had a fleeting thought of you asking me a different question this time. I can never understand how you’re fixated on such a pitiful ideal.”

“... Then… have you always felt this way even since the beginning of Teiko?” Akashi merely narrows his eyes at Kuroko

“Get to the point.”

“I’ve just been… wondering, that’s all.”

“Then I will not dally here further just to have a reunion about the past.” Akashi turns around to leave and walks a few steps before Kuroko calls out to stop him in his tracks

“... I want to ask you about (y/n)-san.” He merely watches Akashi slightly turning his head around before continuing. “What do you think about her?”

“She was Teiko’s head manager. How else did you think my opinion was, Tetsuya? She, just like Daiki, just like everyone else, was an asset to achieving victory. I will not repeat myself again.”

“Akashi-kun, with your Emperor Eye, surely you would’ve noticed something was amiss with (y/n)-san for a while now.” Akashi turns completely around with an impassive gaze

“Broken plates can still function fine. It’s no different with Daiki.” Kuroko grows furious for your sake

“H-How… how can you say that? Do you know how much she’s overworked herself and collapsed throughout these past months for the sake of our team? Did you even know how much of our own 1st-string players were belittling her despite her continuing to give it her all? She cared for our team—she cared for you! She didn’t even want to let you know what was going on behind your back to not burden you any further—and for you to only chalk her up as a tool—”

Akashi is slightly taken back at the sudden info dump/confession from Kuroko, struggling to process the new information… but his face gives little away; Kuroko continues on:

“We’re going to win tomorrow. I swear that Seirin will win against Rakuzan.”

“... It will be intriguing to see you try.” Akashi turns to finally exit out, leaving Kuroko simmering in his thoughts alone (excluding a few janitors) for a few minutes before he exits the stadium himself

in seeing you again the next day, Kuroko immediately notices how antsy you got and even offered to give you the massages to get rid of your own stress knots AND YOU INSTANTLY FEEL WARM BECAUSE YOU TAUGHT HIM YOUR TECHNIQUES SO LONG AGO, AND HE STILL REMEMBERS

you confide in Kuroko as he works out the knots, confessing that you don’t want to be there at the final game but you didn’t want to be selfish and ditch the team, especially since everyone made you feel like you mattered to the team (and you told him about your incident with Akashi yesterday too)

Kuroko shares his own fears and unresolved feelings to you to show that you weren’t alone in feeling uneasy (although he doesn’t share the info that he met up with Akashi)

wholesome friendship moment #753358

the talk made you made up your resolve, and you tell him that you were going to be there at the front bench to support Seirin like you’ve always done, but you do make a request for him to make an excuse for you in case you chicken out and flee mid-game or something

Kuroko agrees and to make you feel better, he proposes for you to focus on him throughout the game so you don’t have to look at Akashi; he knows you still harbor feelings for the Rakuzan captain

while the Seirin starters were warming up, you opted to survey the building interior to find the best route around… just in case if you wanted to flee // you meet Kaijo’s team by coincidence, and Kasamatsu ushers the rest of the team forward to leave you and Kise alone

Kise affectionately ruffles your hair and wishes you and Seirin good luck but also notices how anxious you look; this idiot slaps your back to calm you down LOL

“(y/n)-cchi! What are you so nervous for?”

“Ow! What the hell?”

“O-Ow, ow! I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to hit that hard—can you please let go?!”

“It’s been a while since I shoulder-locked you, huh…”

“Well, I certainly don’t miss it! You’re so cruel!”

and you only give him an all-knowing look at his “cruel” comment, and Kise panics again at his usual poor word choice… but you merely laugh at his distress

unintentionally, Kise does end up being the one to help you clear up the bundles of nerves… he’s still really worried for you because he definitely can see how you’re still hung up on Akashi

at the same time, when Seirin was watching Rakuzan team members do perfect layups, getting nervous about the game, you were a nervous wreck in your own world at the bench, triple-checking everything and giving massages to Teppei to relieve his knee pain for the time being

throughout the game, Akashi does throw a casual glance at you here and there when no one’s really looking, and meanwhile, you’re incredibly fixated on Kuroko (doing what he told you so you wouldn’t be tempted to look at Akashi)

a lot of your attention was on Furihata anyways because you were focused on massaging particular areas to reduce the physical stress exerted on them during the game

part of Akashi wants to go all out and win this game not only to prove you and Kuroko wrong, but also to impress you, but that’s something his true self feels (who is dormant in his subconscious) rather than his current self… but it’s still there

the moment you broke was when the Akashi you knew and liked finally returned to the court, and you immediately excused yourself to the empty infirmary room to bawl your eyes out and put yourself together; you tell yourself that it’s just another tactic of Akashi and return to the game right when Seirin makes their game point

Oreshi gave 100% in battling against Seirin but occasional glances constantly were shot over to Seirin’s bench to look for you, but you were gone at the last part of the game until at the very end

after the team lineups and trophy distributions, you immediately run outside of the stadium for crisp night air, heaving in as much as you could to try to prevent your body from having any funny ideas of dying on the spot

“... (l/n)-san.”

from his voice, you knew it was Akashi, and you debated on running as fast as you can but the current state of your body didn’t make it a viable option; you opted to stand still quietly, your back still facing him

“(/n)-san,” Akashi softly says again, slowly walking up to you and stopping four meters behind you to give you reasonable space in the confrontation

“... I hate you, you know that? Didn’t I tell you that I didn’t want to see you again after this game?”

“Kuroko disclosed to me what happened.”

“He what?!” In your shock, you whirl around to face Akashi, only to be stunned to see his gentle eyes filled with guilt and worry

“... I want to give you my sincerest apology for everything I’ve done and for what I didn’t do for you. In seeing how the Generation of Miracles had their talents bloomed substantially at a rapid rate, I had believed chasing for absolute victory was the only way to hold us together. Teamwork was nigh impossible given that we had no equal rivals from the outside. Even if that was the only plausible option to take as captain, I still failed Teiko’s other members, including you. To think that I was foolish in letting go what was most important to me.”

he gives a deep bow, further shocking you of your wits

“I…” You pause before you frown. “What did Kuroko even tell you?”

Akashi tells you exactly what Kuroko said and you immediately deny it

“Th-That’s… I only worked hard to get better, so I wouldn’t get left behind. Our old teammates were a testament that I was lacking, and I tried hard to catch up to everyone. I only collapsed due to my own irresponsibility. No matter how much I tried, I could never reach up to everyone’s level, even until now.”

“That’s not the whole truth isn’t it, (l/n)-san?” You widen your eyes at his statement, worried about the insinuation of his words

Oreshi now was not the same Oreshi back in Teiko; he’s now much sharper when it comes to you; he senses that there was something else amiss

“Why didn’t you tell me about what happened back at Teiko? Did you feel that you couldn’t rely on me as a captain?” Akashi sounds hurt… really hurt

you, taken back, immediately were quick to answer:

“N-No! If anything, I… I didn’t want you to look at me in a lesser light if you ever found out that our members started losing faith in me, and I… I wanted to be dependable like everyone else on the team! And if I was reliable, you would be able to depend on me like you used to in the very beginning…”

“(l/n)-san,” Akashi mumbles with upturned brows. “You’ve always been viable to me and the team. Why do you go through such lengths?” Your tears burst forth uncontrollably before you choked out:

“Because I liked you! You were so accomplished and reputable…! I had always th-thought that deep down, i-if I kept improving myself, that you’d notice me in the way I saw you!” Both you and Akashi widened your eyes at what you just said

well shit, maybe now is a good time to run? but before you even had any other ideas, Akashi steps forward to gently clasp your wrist

“... How do you feel about me now?” You obviously hesitate and look down at your clasped wrist, tears still streaky on your face, and at your silence, Akashi continues. “If you truly despise me… I understand. I won’t bother you anymore after tonight… But please believe me (l/n)-san, when I say…”

he moves from your wrist to your hand, taking his other hand to bring up both your hands in a delicate clasp

“... that I’ve always been fond of you, ever since the beginning.”

“You’re lying.”

“I am not, (l/n).” To prove his point, Akashi places a tentative ghost kiss on his hands holding yours, wary in trying not to overstep his boundaries in case you didn’t want your hands to be kissed by him; he leaves his lips there before he murmurs

“... How can I make it up to you?” You feel his soft breath reverberating through your own hands, and it felt so sincere

“Well… for starters, I want to know the Akashi outside of basketball…” He lets go of your hands and gives a small smile

“Then it would be more appropriate to call me Seijurō, don’t you think?”

“Ah… then… you can call me by my first name too.”

“(y/n)... please don’t hesitate to come to me when anything troubles you.”

“I’ll try.”

“And please don’t overwork yourself. It’s not good for you.”

“I’m not making promises.”

“I do hope that in time you’ll come to realize that you’re an extremely talented person… quite a force to be reckoned with too.”

“Was the second half an innuendo of some sorts?”

“You don’t meet someone everyday who wouldn’t hesitate to cuss out the Rakuzan captain while pointing at his face.”

“I…! I’m sorry! I spoke out of—” He puts a finger to your lips with a teasing smile before he grows serious

“I must also apologize for my cruel words…

… I hope that you would find it in yourself to forgive all of my own misdeeds.”

“Yeah, yeah,” you mumble. “Maybe that will happen sooner than later because I do… like you.”

“It’s nice to hear a confirmation from you.”

“Stop acting like you got me figured out, Seijurō!”

“I wouldn’t dare, (y/n).”

bonus: imagine the shock from Seirin and Rakuzan to see you two DATING (when that eventually happens), like Hayama is losing his entire MIND over this it’s SO FUNNY LMAO // Kuroko and Kise are so smug and happy for you two it’s very wholesome

The… end?

UPDATE: sike, by the time you read this, there is a part 4 epilogue