#and like it truly wasn’t their fault but the actions they took really fucked me up

[meowcentral]

i received an olive branch from someone who really severely broke my heart today and I’m conflicted

[zoesmp4]

NERVOUS “you’ve got me nervous to speak.” carl grimes x fem!reader

tags: angst to fluff, use of y/n, cussing

a/n: back from the dead!! sorta based on nervous by the nbhd, and there’s also a little tsitp steven and taylor action that i used for inspiration. lyrics r in bold + italics or in between paras. enjoy lovelies!!

the bond between you and carl was truly inseparable. you two had been through it all together, and never once had either of you thought about ending it all.

that was until now.

god, you don’t know how you found yourself in this situation. he’s just a friend. he’s always been just a friend. that’s what you believed, and that’s what you always told people. 

so how come, all of a sudden, he started becoming more than that? how come, out of the blue, you started getting butterflies at his gaze? it was an unfamiliar feeling, and you didn’t like it. you didn’t like it at all. 

you didn’t wanna do anything to jeopardize your beloved friendship, especially over something so dumb. you weren’t gonna lose everything all because of a stupid crush. so, after ages of decision making, you finally set your mind on a reasonable solution.

should i be quiet?

you were just gonna take some time to yourself. you were gonna stop talking to him for a bit. that’s all you needed, just some space. it couldn’t be that hard to lose feelings. besides, he would understand, right?

he in fact did not understand. “wanna come over? i just finished reading that comic you wanted.” he said, a grin plastered onto his face. “not today.” you quickly shut him down, and you could see the happiness on his face slowly fade away.

“oh, that’s fine. tomorrow?” you felt so bad. you really did wanna hang out with him, but you had to push away these feelings first. “i just need some time to myself for a while.”

your felt your heart pang when you looked at his expression. he gave you a slight smile, attempting to mask his disappointment. but you knew him. you knew him well enough to know he was upset. “yeah, i get it. i’ll see you later y/n.” he said, walking away. all of the energy he had when he approached you was long gone now.

it had been days, weeks even. you hadn’t uttered a word to him. so why wasn’t it working? why did you still long for him? it was so frustrating. 

not to mention, you were a mess. you would often find yourself with your head buried deep within your pillow, sniffling as tears flowed down your cheeks. on top of that, you weren’t getting enough sleep. you just missed carl. 

you figured the best thing you could do for yourself was to just get some fresh air. after all, it was no use trying to fix stuff with carl, you already fucked it all up. 

you took in the breeze, as you fiddled with your fingers. if it was a normal day, you would’ve been happy. you loved the cold, but today it was different. today, it made you feel numb. it made everything worse. 

you tried getting it off your mind. you tried to think about other things, but you couldn’t stop thinking about the look he had on his face the last time you talked to him. his smile was wiped clean off his face, and it was all your fault. 

you started to feel your eyes prick with tears. a single drop slowly traveled down your face, and you quickly wiped it off with your sleeve. 

you just wanted to cry, but you weren’t gonna let yourself do it out in the public. after all, once you started crying, you weren’t gonna stop. so, you turned around and picked up the pace. you were headed back home, where you could be vulnerable. 

your head was faced down, trying to hide your glassy eyes from anyone who could potentially see. “y/n?” you hear someone call out to you. the voice sounded familiar, and you instantly knew who it was without even lifting your head in the slightest. 

it was carl. you had to get away. just pretend you didn’t hear him, you thought to yourself. your footsteps quickened, until you heard his pleading voice once again. 

“just talk to me. please. is it something i said? i’m sorry for whatever i did.” 

“you didn’t do anything. it’s me. it’s all my fucking fault because my stupid self caught feelings for her best friend.” you wanted to say, but you restrained yourself. 

you finally came to a stop, turning around to face him. as soon as you met his gaze, you wanted to cry the hardest you’d ever cried before. 

he slowly stepped closer to you until his taller figure was in close in front of you. “can you please talk to me? you know i won’t get mad. you know i’m listening. so please, just please tell me what’s been bothering you.” he begged, his eyes softening. 

you let out a sigh, still sniffling. “it’s not your fault carl.” you said, your voice barely audible. “then what is it?” he said, keeping his voice at the same, calm volume. 

“i-i like you, and it’s really embarrassing.” you confess. you instantly regret your choice of words when you see a frown start to appear on his face. “i don’t know what i was expecting, but that was really fucking mean.” he says, about to walk away.

“no, carl. it’s embarrassing because of how much i like you.” there it is. that’s what you’ve been holding in. it felt weird hearing the words coming out of your mouth. “how is that embarrassing?” he questioned, the tender look started to come back on his face. 

ask me and ill tell you how i’ve been

“i- it’s like i forgot how to act around you. i’m always scared i’m gonna mess up. you’ve got me nervous to speak.”

that was the last thing you managed to get out before he pulled you into his chest for a tight hug. the dam holding your tears back broke.

the wetness stained his shirt, but he didn’t care. he rubbed your back with his arm, soothing you. you missed his embrace, the feeling you would get when you were in his arms felt heavenly.

after a few more seconds of the hug, carl shifted his hands to your shoulders. he softly pushed you back a little bit to get a look at your face.

he reached for your face to wipe any tears. “m’ sorry for ignoring you.” you said, voice soft and quiet. he shook his head, giving you a gentle smile. 

“you’re okay sweet girl, don’t worry about it.” he said. “i-it’s not okay. i ignored you for so long, i just cut you off like that. without a single warning. it was so inconsiderate and i’m really sor-” 

hush, baby, don’t you say another word

“you never shut up do you?” he said, cutting you off mid sentence before he crashed his lips onto yours. your eyes widened, and your movements froze before you slowly adjusted to the kiss. your eyes fluttered closed before you hesitantly tilted your head to get closer.

this was a new experience for the both of you, but it felt like he had years of practice. the way his hands made their way around your body, it sent shivers down your spine.  

after what seemed like an eternity, you both pulled away. the sounds of your mixed heavy breaths filled the air. carl’s hand reached for your face before he wiped your slightly smudged chapstick. 

he then tilted your chin up to meet his gaze. the gesture made the butterflies in your stomach act up more than they ever had in your life. 

i got goosebumps all over me

“next time, just let me know what’s on your mind, yeah?” he asks. “okay.” you say, looking at him with pure admiration. “that’s my girl.” 

[ruskaroma]

First time with John Wick plssssssssssssssssssss

I truly think that the first time with John would be loving yet rough. I’m sorry, but that’s just how I paint him out to be.

He’s a killer, so it’s no surprise that his hands are naturally heavy and rough. He would touch your body with those large, dangerous hands, forever tainting it with his cruelty and brutality, making you submit yourself to his mercy.

For a man with few words, John sure does have his ways to make you shake and crumble under his touch while he says the most filthy, diabolical shit that could make even the devil blush. For some reason, he just finds you so beautiful wrecked and fucked that he can’t keep his words to himself.

The first time the two of you had sex, it was because he was jealous. You knew he was jealous but he didn’t admit that he was, and that was enough answer for you to get fucked as soon as the two of you arrived at your apartment.

It was a miracle that you managed to make him come with you to a company party even though all he did all night was stand beside you like he’s your bodyguard. Well, in a sense, he was your bodyguard, but his particular outfit that night got your co-workers wondering how the hell you were able to afford one.

John had kept his hand on the small of your back the majority of the night, like that was enough to show everybody that he was not only your bodyguard but also your very loving boyfriend who tolerated everyone in that room just for you.

But when he left to go to the bathroom and came back to a sight of another man being too friendly to you, John only realized that the whole “hand on the back” wasn’t enough to shoo those motherfuckers away.

John settled himself beside you again, but this time, he made sure to wrap his arm around your waist and pulled you closer to his warmth, pretending like the other man beside you wasn’t there, because John could really not bother to care.

“Have I left you for too long?” 

“What?” You furrowed your brows, confused.

John didn’t answer after that, but he did glance at the man who was already staring at him and his actions the moment he arrived. He also didn’t introduce himself, the man simply didn’t deserve it.

“Uh, is he your boyfriend?” The man interjected, and you felt John’s fingers twitch gripping your waist.

“Oh–uh, yeah, he is,” you replied sheepishly, then turning your head to smile tightly at John who was just raising a brow at you. “You probably thought he was my bodyguard, eh? Everyone’s been saying that the moment we arrived.”

“Yeah, I thought that, too,” he laughed awkwardly.

The conversation soon died out. Maybe it had something to do with the man just feeling really awkward because he truly didn’t know John was your boyfriend, or maybe it had something to do with the fact that John had been staring at him dead in the eyes threateningly while you weren’t looking.

When the two of you were on your way home, John had been dead silent with his hand on your thigh the only thing indicating that he’s not as mad as he made himself out to be and he was just really jealous. You know a jealous man when you see one, you just didn’t think you’d see John being jealous first hand.

“Come on, babe, you really not going to speak?” You whined from your seat, grabbing his rough hand to your softer ones as you placed a kiss on the back of it. When you didn’t get a reaction, you pouted childishly. “Jooohhnnnn. Babeeeeee. Babyyyyy.”

John still didn’t react. He kept his eyes on the road.

“You’re for real ignoring me because you’re jealous? Really, John? Bit childish, isn’t it?”

Then, his eyes narrowed as he ripped his focus on the road and onto yours. “I’m not jealous.”

“So that gets you talking?”

“Because I’m not jealous.”

“Sure, sure.” You nodded your head like you’re convinced, and you saw John turned his attention back on the road again. You took this opportunity to continue poking at him. “I mean, it was kinda your fault that he assumed I was single.”

John hit the brakes too hard than usual at the red light, and that was enough to prove your theory that he was, in fact, jealous.

He looked at you offended, and it was kinda hard to believe that you were getting to see that expression on his face first hand considering he rarely ever shows any emotions.

“You know I’m not very big on PDA,” he grumbled under his breath. “I thought my hand on your back was enough. Clearly he didn’t get the memo.”

“So you are jealous?”

Again, he didn’t respond. For a very dangerous well known assassin, John was sure as hell a bit childish when it came to you, but you liked that about him. That only meant he trusted you enough to feel vulnerable around you, show you a side of him he never showed to any one else.

John parked his car in the parking lot and the two of you walked in comfortable silence. You had your arm tangled with his, walking side by side until you reached the elevator. It was only then you had felt the touch of his hand on your ass.

“Well, well, well… Is John Wick finally making the first move?”

Maybe teasing him was a bad idea, because your smirk was immediately wiped off when you’re thrown against the wall and creating a loud bang.

“John, holy shit, I don’t wanna pay for the damage–”

“Shut up,” he growled under his breath, ducking his face down and inhaling your scent, opening his mouth to suck the skin, his sharp teeth bruising your neck that you yelped and wrapped your arms around his broad back. 

“J–John, please don’t fuck me here–I wanna get fu–fucked on a real bed for our first time–”

Before he could even answer, the elevator’s door opened and he hauled himself off you in a matter of seconds. An old woman walked in, not bothering to look at the two of you as she pressed on the button to go up. You’re one floor above, you and John were just sharing side glances the entire ride.

When you reached your floor, John was the one to grip your wrist and pull you out of the elevator, already getting your keys in his suit pocket while you trip and giggle following behind him.

“I’m so excited–”

“I’m glad you find this amusing.”

“Are you kidding? I’m about to get fucked by my boyfriend for the first time in our relationship, of course I’m excited.”

Once John opened the door, he pushed you inside in no time and slammed it behind him. “Who said anything about fucking you?”

“What?” You pouted, growing confused. 

“What if I don’t want to? What if I think you don’t deserve my cock?”

And instantly, you flushed at the words that came out of his mouth that you couldn’t reply anything other than a gasp when he launched himself forward and pressed his lips to you. His beard tickled your chin as his hands went behind your thighs, lifting you off the floor and wrapped your legs around his body.

“I was holding myself back for so long, I was doing so well, I was waiting for the moment to fuck you in a bed of roses like you deserve, but that guy just had to come in and ruin all my self control,” John said against your mouth, pressing his hard cock in his pants against your already wet cunt as he slammed you against the wall.

“I d–don’t want a bed of roses anyways,” you breathed, moaning at the feeling of his hot, throbbing crotch against your own, wanting nothing but to just pull it out and shove it inside you and ride him all night long, but it seemed like John had another idea of how the night would go. “Please, John, just–just fuck me, come on, I know you want to–”

“I don’t like how that guy was looking at you earlier. Like you were some piece of meat,” he nipped at your neck, you felt another wave of wetness drip out of you just from his voice. “Just want to mark you up, bruise your neck and body just so everyone would know you’re fucking mine–”

“Oh god–”

And that’s how you found yourself with legs spread on the bed with John between them. His right hand was around your throat, his other was gripping your hair hard, and his cock was pounding in and out of you like there was no tomorrow.

He’s so fucking big – so huge, so large, Jesus Christ – and you swore you were squealing like a pig. Your cunt was so sloppy and wet, the sound of your wetness squelching around John’s cock was making you so dizzy and lightheaded, not to mention when he was tightening the hand around your throat every few seconds, you were keening and moaning like a whore as you rambled all your dirty thoughts.

“Oh god–oh god, John, please–please, you feel s–so good–” you moaned, nails digging at his back as the bedpost slammed against the wall with each thrust. “Wanted–wanted this for s–so long. So big and huge and–fuck, I’m gonna–”

“Fuck, you’re so wet,” John commented, letting his eyes wander between your bodies as he watched his thick cock plummeling inside your tight little cunt, clit puffy and sore from him sloppily eating you out earlier and he couldn’t be any more proud. You were so sensitive and reactive, every touch delivered a noise out of you. “Cum on my cock, princess. Make a mess all over my dick and I’ll fill you up so deep you’ll feel me until the next week.”

That was the line that threw you over the edge. Head thrown back and screaming, you held onto his back as you came around his cock, knowing the night was only just beginning.

[nikethestatue]

Anonymous because I don’t want anyone to potentially see this and harass me.. but I’m just so disappointed with this fandom. And tbh, I blame it on ACOSF.

In my opinion, ACOSF really ruined all of the IC characters. And since it’s the last book or the series thus far, people cling to it religiously.

I don’t think SJM really did Nesta justice in her story. I never truly hated Nesta. I felt like her character, while let’s be honest pretty bitchy, was in fact hiding pain through sharp words. Hurt people hurt people. This is a very real world response to trauma. And while we see that, I just felt her journey of training and fucking did not do enough justice. The fact the IC only really “forgave” her for her actions when she saved Feyre/Rhys/nyx is somewhat of a testament in my eyes. Other than Cassian (and Elain from what Cassian mentioned how she understood what Nesta was doing everytime), it felt that she was still misunderstood. That she’s just this mean person. What I wanted for Nesta, other than feeling like she was important and deserved good things, was for the understanding to seep in with all of the characters. And she deserved a real romance. I think the fact it was physical first really took away the romance of Nessian, and honestly sometimes I wasn’t even sure they liked each other, until they had their confession of feelings on solstice. It felt forced sometimes and completely physical.

ACOSF sidelined Feyre completely, made Rhys a villain to half the fandom, made Cassian not a likeable love interest for me and not the funny comic relief character, made Elain more firy which isn’t bad because I guess it’s leading to her story, made Amren a bitch too tbh and Mor. Like she just completely fucked the whole ic with this book imo… and Emerie is a great character as well as Gwyn. Gwyn was retconned in order to ensure Nesta had two female friends. Their characters were really important to Nesta being able to just be herself without history involved. But something I wished we saw was the Archerons hashing out their feelings and trauma. Maybe that will happen in the next book.

It felt like ACOSF added nothing to the plot. Yes, we got the troves but it felt somewhat out of place. A lot could have happened involving the grand scheme of ACOTAR. It’s almost like CC3 needed to come out to answer the questions we didn’t have answered in ACOSF so that we could skip over like 300+ pages of plot.

The smut felt forced, and while “put your hands on the headboard” is definitely a giggle moment, their physical moments were just… not romantic. And I think Nessian deserved more than smut. (This is my personal opinion). Like how did we go from “I don’t have any regrets in this life. My only regret is that we did not have time. That I did not have time with you Nesta. I will find you in the next life.” To.. “I didn’t ask to be shackled to you either”…… it felt very out of character. Not to mention Cassian was still calling Mor beautiful? I don’t dislike Cassian, but I just felt it was very out of character. Or maybe I just had a different headcanon from the original series. Maybe it’s my fault.

For all Nesta went through, I think she deserved more in her book. And so did Cassian. I feel like I don’t know him at all. They had their moments, but there was a lot that wasn’t there. I do ship them because I do see the golden retriever and black cat dynamic, and I love it, and they are the warriors. But I just wanted them to really be happy. Maybe it was the reluctant mates trope that made it difficult to do. Idk. But it makes me worried for Eriel (if that’s what it’s going to be) because I feel like Azriel being a “freak” in bed will once again overpower the actually romance of the couple. Like smut ≠ romance to me. It heightens it for sure, but there needs to be the emotional ground work.

Overall I think ACOSF really twisted the fandom, and it’s lead to this very toxic environment if I’m being honest with ships. I see countless posts hating Rhys, Feyre, Elain, Az (because of his desires etc).. like the fact people are shipping Eris with Nesta instead of Cassian shows how Nessian did not stick after their book. Tbh I felt Eris was more interesting than Cassian a lot of the time.

But ya. Sorry for the long rant. I’m sure lots of this isn’t even explained well because it’s hard to get out my feelings. Like I don’t even want to read the book again in my re-read. I think Nesta was put in cc3 to make up for her book tbh. And Az because of the bonus. Like finding out about Nesta’s powers in CC3 and not her own book…? I think SJM just realized she kind of fucked up. I’m just hoping with the next ACOTAR novel that she doesn’t make the same mistakes. Maybe she just felt rushed to get Nesta’s book out of the way in order to get to Elain’s. Or that it completely was taken over by her own healing journey. Which is not a bad thing at all, it provides the real world ground work, but it also took away from Nesta. But either way, I think personally Nesta deserved better than that. Because I think her character is important and strong. Past just being a warrior. There are a lot of older sister themes that could have been involved in her book. And it just missed the mark. And that’s why I think the “valkayrie” sticks out so much. Because that was the only memorable part of it. Not even Nessian was.

Anyways thank you for reading my massive rant. Would love your opinion!!!

I pretty much agree with everything. Whatever SJM had originally planned for Nesta and for Nessian wasn't what we got in ACOSF.

Overall, it was boring and repetitive, and lacked in any depth. The pregnancy plot was ludicrous and the fact that you have your 500+ year olds losing their shit over a contrary and mouthy 25 year old just makes me want to roll my eyes. I just want to tell everyone to grow up. The writing and their 'reasons' was clunky. You gonna tell me that Rhys the Billionaire, the Elon Musk of Prythian, is gonna lose his mind over $500?

Some other stuff doesnt make sense either--how are the Archerons not the heroes of Prythian. Elain and Nesta slew the king, Feyre reforged the Cauldron, and it seemed like no one cared about that? Not one Fae? Second time Feyre saved their world and nothing? She is just back in Night Court like nothing's happened?

Where were the negotiations which were happening at the end of ACOWAR?

900 pages and the plot didnt move anywhere in ACOTAR. You needed Bryce and half of HOFAS to explain what the heck was going on in Prythian.

My personal pet peeve is that it seems none of these people have jobs, except for Azriel.

I dont understand how a general of an active army has this much time on his hands to train random women for hours every day and then have sex for hours every day. Why is no one doing any work? I think this idleness also contributes to frustration--why are you harping on Nesta and calling her a waste of space, when you all literally do NOTHING, other than build houses.

It's a messy, plotless book and i feel like it definitely contributed to the discord in the fandom. It's so needlessly divisive, and the fact that it lacks an antagonist also makes it super frustrating, because it all just feels pointless.

all in all, you are right on the nose, Anon.

[leikakakkari]

video diary entry from September 15th, 2022 8:29 AM

“i have a question.. for anyone who’s ever hurt someone like really bad, like irreversibly hurt someone that you really love.. how do you live with yourself? it’s only been like a week, but i don’t see how it could get any better. i can’t do anything to make the situation better, and i can’t take back what i did and i can’t take away the hurt that i inflicted. i don’t know what to do. i just really really hate myself.”

i wish i could hug you. i wish i didn’t make you go through this alone. you were struggling so bad and i forced you to further isolate yourself. you didn’t deserve that. you deserved to be able to lean on your friends for support. you deserved to be able to ask for help. you were grappling with such a huge thing and i left you with nowhere to turn. i’m so sorry. no matter what the future brings, i will never let you do that again.

with a year under our belt, i’ve learned and accepted a few things. one thing i have learned is you did the best you could. you held yourself accountable. you admitted to your faults and you made sure you will never ever find yourself in a situation similar to this ever again. you tried to communicate and ask for guidance and you were led astray. i allowed us to ignore our gut feelings, ignore what we thought was right and we learned a very valuable lesson from that. we learned that we know what we need best, whether that be space, grace, time, or honesty. i knew what we needed and i ignored it and allowed us to be put in a situation that forced us to live in such an anxiety riddled state. i allowed us to be put into a situation where we were forced to analyze any interaction, any words, any action or lack of action.

there is some hurt that you will never be able to undo. there will never be the right thing to say or do. no amount of support or understanding can heal the wound. no amount of listening will make it better. we totally fucked up, and all there was left was acceptance and learning. all we could do was apologize, own what happened, change our behavior and mean it. and we actively incorporate that into our lives, even today. you so desperately were searching for some way to make this “right” and there just wasn’t one. you knew that in your soul but we allowed our perspective to be swayed by words. we should have been looking at this from the lens of facts and reason, not feelings. we knew that. a lot of the pain we harbor is because we never trusted what we knew, which ultimately became the truth.

you were expected to constantly be empathetic and understanding but i hope you hear me when i say not an ounce of that generosity was reserved for you. you experienced lash after lash and never once was empathy even considered. you understood and accepted that people are imperfect, they act out in emotional states and it’s harder to “pause before responding” but you were never once granted that same grace. remember that. remember that information was withheld from you and it was and still is being used as a form of control. remember that nobody in this situation cared about the confusion, the grief and the pain you were left to mop up.

it took us an entire year to even consider these things. it took an entire year for you to find the courage to vocalize what happened and express what impact it made on you, but you got there. we have had to fight for our ability to think clearly and truly know who we are in the deepest depths of ourselves and that is something that does not go unrecognized. your support system know the truth and that’s all we have ever once wanted, was for people to make an informed decision. and they did.

you still hurt. you still cry yourself to sleep most nights. you still become paranoid and anxious when you think about it and you’re absolutely petrified of what the future holds. you’re constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop but you fought like hell to work on yourself, your mindset and your ethics. you no longer wake up and wish you hadn’t. you no longer wonder what type of person you are. you no longer seek out things that hurt you because you feel you deserve to be punished. you recognize that you did the best you could with the information you had available and although it wasn’t perfect, you will find a way to give yourself grace and recognize the growth you’ve achieved in a year.

this hurt may never fully go away and i hope one day, we aren’t so jaded by it. but time truly does heal all wounds and we just have to give ourselves grace.

love you. 🤍

diary entry from september 15th 2023 5:18 AM

[imagineimpact]

Could i request Diluc angst oneshot where reader and him get into a big disagreement or argument where Diluc makes them cry and feel really bad about themself so they go and end up hanging out with Kaeya a bit much cause he offered to cheer reader up and Diluc won't apologize. until he see's his s/o hanging out with Kaeya

I actually wrote 2 different versions of the ending for this, but this is the one I decided to go with! If you want the more angsty version do let me know.

Anyway,

Harsh Words

Diluc x Reader

Screaming. Yelling that could be heard throughout the Dawn Winery residence late into the night, heard only by the maids, the night security, and perhaps a late worker or two.

And of course, by the two individuals who held the voices.

It was rather unusual for the two of you to be at odds; and, on the occasion in which you were, it wasn’t nearly to this degree.

But the two of you were outright screaming at each other. It wasn’t even about one thing anymore - it was everything. Whatever you had been arguing about had reached the point of irrelevance; It never should have reached this point and you knew that, but you were under fire and you couldn’t stop.

All you knew was that this was Diluc’s fault, and that you couldn’t take this kind of argument.

“If you just thought about your actions for once-”

You cut him off, “Oh don’t try me with that, you’re the one treating me like I’m an idiot and trying to control my-”

“If you had just listened for once and been less of a selfish bitch then I wouldn’t have to!”

His words had cut far deeper than either of you had expected, and you physically recoiled at the words, a sudden wave washing over you which forced tears from your eyes. The truth in his words was irrelevant - It felt true, even if it wasn’t.

You turn away from him. In spite of your state, he makes no move toward you. None, not even to give you the slightest feel of any comfort. You knew - he wanted the words to cut through you.

You go to the door and slip on your shoes, leaving the room as fast as you humanly could.

You can’t take this anymore.

But you don’t make it past the front door. As if by telepathy, Diluc has two of his night security waiting by the door in a stance showing you that they’re ready to make sure you don’t leave. They block your path, silent in their menace. When you turn around, only then do you notice Adelinde and Hille quietly staring at you. Diluc’s footsteps down the stairs are a slow horror, an even pace which served to only emphasize that feeling of dread; Very easily, this felt like the perfect time to be murdered.

The drawl of footsteps approach, yet cease a few meters away - he’s far too distant to do anything himself. His eyes lock on yours, quietly assessing you.

“Diluc, let me leave.” You hiss through streaming tears. You nearly choke on the tension in the air.

He doesn’t say anything for a moment. His eyes don’t show any expression, show any remorse or guilt, or even happiness. Truly, there is nothing in his eyes.

“Let me make myself clear: You are not leaving this premises in the middle of the night. Do you understand me?”

“Not even slightly.”

Silence. His eyes flicker, the way they do when he sees an abyss mage, or when Kaeya makes a comment that goes a little too far - pure anger.

“Adelinde, fix up the guest room.”

“No need. I’ll be leaving now.” You scoff.

Diluc tilts his head, peering over you and towards his security as if to say ‘don’t you fucking dare let them through’.

Then another look, and you feel yourself being pushed into the house again, the slam of the doors behind you.

A wave of anger washes over you, and you can’t help the excess of tears that fall, harder now than they had been before.

Diluc holds his ground, staring at you silently. You shake your head and look away, not sure what to do with yourself. Their staring puts you in pure disarray.

“Adelinde.”

“Yes, sorry.” She mutters, bowing and taking her leave in the direction of the guest bedroom in order to prepare it for you.

When she’s gone, you shake your head. “I’m not going to be sleeping.”

“Then stay in your room. I don’t care.” He huffs, turning away and wandering back up the stairs, his footsteps seeming less menacing now.

The argument was done.

Your eyes catch a light outside the window, seeming to exist a far distance away. Maybe it was the fire of a hilichurl camp.

What time was it? Surely the sun would be up soon anyway.

Fine. You would leave then, no matter what.

When you got to your room, you actually did manage to sleep. Not nearly enough; An hour was nothing in the long run, but it was still just slightly enough to not feel entirely exhausted.

Still, the sun was up when you arose, and you lay in the bed, uncertain as to what would happen when you left the room.

If Diluc wasn’t going to apologise, you wanted nothing to do with him.

So, after a little while of resting, it was a surprise to hear a knock at the door. You were summoned to breakfast. Nearly the entire time, you and Diluc sat across from each other - an oddity indeed considering he would always insist that he wanted you seated beside him - this time, however, you were as far from his as possible within the confines of the seated table. The usually empty seat felt hard beneath you, not softened by an everyday presence. Your usual seat to his right - where your plate had been placed before you had taken it to where you were now - was empty.

Neither of you could look into each other’s eyes. The silence, broken only by the light clinks of cutlery, felt burdenous.

You expected him to say something, anything really. You could barely eat the food on your breakfast plate, and without any words, you didn’t feel all too comfortable anyway. You let out a quiet sigh and stood up, tucking in your chair and lifting your plate to take it back to the kitchen.

“Where are you going?” Diluc’s voice was quiet but the harshness in it was unmistakable.

“I’m not hungry.” You looked down at the plate in your hands. “I’m going to Mondstadt.”

Diluc stood up suddenly, pushing back his chair and stepping close to you. The sudden movement caused you to shutter slightly, and he pulled back a bit. Still, he tore the plate from your hands and placed it on the table. “When you return, be ready to have a serious conversation.”

Oh.

You opened your mouth to speak, but then huffed and turned away. “Right. I’ll look forward to getting yelled at again.”

Diluc scoffed, “Stop acting like a petulant child.”

“I’m not doing this right now, Diluc.” Your feet are moving before you can even think about it. This time, as you approached the door, no one was there to stop you. You left with no present company to watch over you, and you knew that today was going to be a long, long day.

——

Mondstadt thrives with life, as per usual. Because of how bright and pleasant the place is, any spec of gloom is extremely obvious on a day like this.

You took to the adventurers guild to take some commissions. Maybe killing some hilichurls or slimes would take your mind off of it all, or maybe just delivering some needed materials to someone.

The entire time you had been speaking to Katheryn, you felt eyes watching you, but you didn’t want to make it obvious you knew. Alas, it was only moments later that you startled at the feeling of a hand on your shoulder.

“No need to be so surprised.” The familiar voice chuckles beside you.

“Good morning, Kaeya.” You let out a soft sigh, the exhaustion of the day before wearing into you. You thanked Katheryn and turned your attention to Kaeya. His eyebrows twitched and his expression shifted as he studied you.

“What happened?” He asks rather blatantly, eyes clouding over. “Was it Diluc?”

You took a deep breath. “Wanna join me for commissions?”

Kaeya scans your eyes. “As long as you tell me what’s wrong.”

“Come on.” You nod, wandering out of Mondstadt with him.

The slowly falling night brought you back to Mondstadt. You agreed to go to the tavern with Kaeya, a subtle kind of thank you for spending time with you today. It wasn’t like you were doing anything else anyway.

The tavern was already busy before you got there, people crowding around for a nights drink. You subconsciously step towards Kaeya as if shading yourself away from the crowded atmosphere and he is wary of your proximity. He draws you to his side, a friendly notion, and steps inside before you.

Charles waves at you both from behind the counter. Kaeya quickly orders a round of drinks and takes you to a table away from the bar.

“Hey, look who’s been dragged in.” Rosaria wanders over, quietly making soft chatter with you. It wasn’t unusual for the two of you to spend some time together.

Kaeya eventually wanders away, grabbing your drinks and bringing them back over.

Time seemed to dwindle away, the mindless chatter with your friends giving you more than ample distraction from anything else that might have been happening.

“Master Diluc! Didn’t expect to see you here today.” Charles’ voice rings out.

Of course, that wasn’t going to last long.

You lift your head slightly, tensing up. Diluc is scanning the room, twisting his wrist lightly as he speaks quietly to Charles; The words miss you. You freeze as your eyes lock. For just a moment you’re caught in that discerning gaze before he nods at you and turns back to talk to Charles. Kaeya draws your attention back away, and you slip back into your conversation, not wanting to deal with anything else.

“I’ll get another round.” Rosaria gets up and makes her way through the tavern, leaning over the bar and making another order for the table.

“How many are we on?” You ask, already flushed from the… how many glasses had you even had?

“Five.” Kaeya laughs, leaning on your shoulder. “But now that the killjoy’s here, he’ll stop us from having our well-earned fun.”

“I heard that.” Diluc scoffed, passing by you.

“Good.” Kaeya wraps his arms around your waist and pulls you closer to him, more out of a delicate affection than anything else. Diluc’s eyes narrow at his brother, who just laughs in response.

“Get your hands off of-“

“Oh don’t worry, brother. I would never keep them somewhere they don’t want to be.” Kaeya mocks. “You, on the other hand, can’t say the same.” Even with his words, he loosens his hold on you and leans back a bit.

Rosaria returns with your round, greeting Diluc casually as she slips back into her seat. Your pissed off boyfriend wanders away back to his work.

It clicks in your hazy mind that the only reason he’s here is likely because you are. You laugh at the thought, then clink your tankard to the group and drink.

—

As the evening wears down, many people in the bar until it’s pretty much only your group and a few others left there. Diluc lets out a soft sigh as he watches you, trying to soften that jealous pounding of his heart. He takes a sip of his own drink - apple cider, of course. He could never slam back drinks the way that your group currently were. Where had the hours gone?

Oh, no. How many drinks had you had? Whatever was next, he swore to himself that he would make sure that it was watered down. At this rate, you were pretty much welcoming alcohol poisoning with open arms.

Kaeya, wobbly as ever, decides to be the one to approach the bar this time (mostly because Rosaria was leaning against the table, head folded into her arms as she groaned). Diluc shook his head. “No, no. The three of you will drink this whole tavern dry if I don’t stop you.”

“Oh, I’m not here to get any more.” He leans on the countertop. “I just want to know what the hell you did.” Kaeya motions over to you. You’re just giggling at Rosaria’s complaining, leaning over and patting her on the head.

“I’m not talking to you about this.” Diluc leans back, crossing his arms stubbornly.

“Suit yourself.” He straights up. “I should probably get her out of here before you say something stupid.”

“I’m not going to be saying anything stupid.” Diluc shakes his head, looking over the list of all the drinks you’ve had this evening. “You’re all wasted.”

“And yet, you haven’t said last call.”

Seemingly to spite him, DIluc immediately does. He signals over to Charles to round up the remaining people. He knew to leave you last.

Kaeya’s laugh is enough to haunt him. “You make this right, Diluc.” He runs his finger over the counter. “Otherwise I will.”

“Get out of my sight.”

The cavalry captain laughs again, then wanders over to your table. He practically drags Rosaria back up, but she pushes away from him and made her own way to the counter - always a good spirit, she paid for her own portion of drinks and left. Being a nun, she probably didn’t need to use the money elsewhere.

Kaeya was two steps away from just carrying you out the door, but through his drunk mind he finds the clarity to understand just how absolutely inappropriate that would be to do, especially in front of Diluc. Alas, you lean on his shoulder as he assists your steps.

“Where do you think you’re going?” Diluc’s voice calls out, as if to stop you both.

“Usual billing.” Kaeya calls back.

“No, no.” You both look back at him. He shifts on his feet, eyes locking with yours. “I’ll be damned if you go home with him.”

“Then damned you are.” You roll your eyes, turning away.

He calls your name softly. “Step away from him. Come here.”

You take a deep breath. “I am so glad I don’t have to remember any of this.”

Diluc places a glass of water in front of you. “Drink this. You wreak of alcohol.”

“And you wreak of your hatred.” You sit down in front of him, knowing that it wasn’t about to get better.

Diluc’s eyes flicker up to Kaeya. “Get out.”

“Not happening.”

“Kaeya, this doesn’t concern you.”

“Their safety is more than enough concern.”

“It’s alright, Kaeya, just wait outside.” You pipe in, not wanting even more stress.

Kaeya agrees, quietly slipping out the door. Charles is told to escort him away, an act which may have varying success.

Either way, you sat in front of Diluc, not sure what exactly to say to him.

“I’m tired, Diluc. I’m tired of this. I can’t put up with-“

“I’m sorry.” He blurts out, interrupting you. “Please, hear me out.”

“I’m not going to remember-“

“Then I’ll tell you again when you will.” He leans over the counter, not wanting to be apart from you. He calls your name again, as if to hold your attention, “Can we talk about this?”

“I think we talked about this already.” You groan. “Yesterday, plenty of yelling. The Maids and guards can confirm.”

Diluc takes a long breath out. You lift the glass of water and take an even longer sip.

Maybe the barrier of the counter between you made you feel better. But, as tears sprung to your eyes, you felt so, so much worse.

“Do you hate me?” You ask, your voice squeaking. “Do you want to break up with me.”

“No, Y/N.” He reaches for your hands, but you had pushed your stool too far away from him beforehand that he couldn’t. He circles around the bar and gently grabs both of your hands, soft enough in his hold for you to be able to pull away. “Don’t ever say that. I love you.”

“Then, why?” You sob, turning your face away from him, hands still in his. “Why did you yell at me? Why wouldn’t you talk to me this morning?”

“I…“ Diluc stops himself, taking a deep breath. “I was angry. We were both angry.” He shifts, pulling out a stool and sitting in front of you. “I wasn’t acting rationally.”

“When you said you wanted to talk this morning, what were you going to say?”

Diluc hesitates, gripping your hands just a little bit harder. “I was going to ask… I was going to ask if you were happy.” He admitted, quietly. “But I can’t do that. I can’t put you through that.”

You tug him toward you, pulling his hands close to your face. “Why would you say that? I love you.” You sob into his soft skin.

He takes his hands away from your gently, slipping them around your waist and pulling you close to him, into his lap. He tightens his grip. “I’m sorry.” He repeats. “I’m so sorry. I never want you to cry.” He feels his heartbeat heavily in his chest, a distraught washing over him. “Don’t ever destroy yourself like this again.” He runs a hand over your back.

You don’t say anything. You’re way too drunk for many more coherent thoughts to pass your lips. You lift your head and plant a soft kiss on his cheek, and he softly kisses your forehead, pulling you back to his chest so that you don’t try to kiss him anymore - He wasn’t about to let that happen, you were far too drunk.

Diluc was ashamed of his thoughts. His guilt, rising only when he saw you in the present company of his brother, showing affection and finding comfort anywhere except for him. He didn’t want to admit it to himself, nor to you, but as you cried into his shoulder, he couldn’t help the wave of disappointment in himself that washed over. Why could he never be there for the people who needed him most?

“Come on, finish your water, let’s get you home.” He insists, though he holds you tightly still until you stir.

You take the water, sipping it with a slight indignance. He would have to apologize to you again in the morning, but he would do anything to get you to trust him again.

(Part 2 here)

[hotsforharlow]

Urban blowing your back out, PLEASE. IM BEGGING

AN: Hi, I hope you like it x

NSFW

Fuck, you should of known the evening was going to end like this, you thought as your hands grabbed the sheets beneath you. It wasn’t your fault the waiter was all over you, you hadn’t even noticed but Urban was too possessive for his own good. You bite into the pillow underneath you as his large, thick cock hits your spot. “I didn’t even notice him.” You tried to babble out as his hands grabbed at your arse; looking down at his cock moving in and out. You had already squirted around him once this evening, your legs shook as the oversensitiveness of the act had you whining. “I don’t care..you are mine.” Urban whispered into your ear as he reached to make a ponytail in your hair. 

He pulled and grabbed your hip and you knew there would be bruises in the morning. That only seemed to make you more aroused as he fucked harder. His name fell from your lips loudly as his hand snaked around and roughly played with your clit. His larger fingers teased you without mercy as he pinched your clit some more, sending sparks of pleasure inside you. “I can’t…” You whined, biting the sheets once more after remembering you didn’t have the house to yourself, not that Urban cared one bit. “Shh, you can give me more.” Urban purred and moved to press open mouthed kisses at your neck, marking you as he always did when he was feeling this way. Your walls fluttered around him. 

“See, you are nearly there.” Urban couldn’t help but tease you as he brought his soaked fingers of your wetness to his mouth and sucked. “God, you taste good.” He hummed and quickened his thrusts as he fucked you deep and had you collasping onto the bed once more. “Urban..” You cried out his name again as you tried to stay still. You couldn’t stop your orgasm ripping through you as you squirted once more. Your legs shook and you only grew more weak. “Fuck,” You babbled absolute nonsense as your cheeks flushed and your mind was already softening. Urban began to slow down, trying to keep a hold of his own release. His hand grabbed your arse once more with a slap.

“Want you to ride me.” Urban whispered with a smirk as he moved from you, which only had you crying out as you moved to steady yourself. “I can’t..” You whispered again but he only hummed and leaned back. You really were a glutton for punishment, you thought to yourself. You whined and moved to straddle him. “Don’t you want me to just suck you?” You whimpered into his ear as your soaked folds moved over his hard cock. “Good girl.” Urban purred up at you as his hands moved up and down your sides as you teased his head. “Urb..” You whined as he made you do all the work. Your legs were shaking as you moved over him again before finally allowing him to slip back inside. He bottomed out and your hands moved onto his chest to settle yourself.

“There you go.” He coed up at you as you began to move your hips as best you could. Your eyes still rolled and you clutched at the sheets beside him. “Please..” You whined, not knowing what you were truly begging for as you continued to rock on him. His cock touched deeper places in this position and you wondered what you were going to feel like tomorrow. “You are mine, aren’t you?” Urban hummed and thrusted into you, taking your breath away as a loud cry of pleasure escaped you. “Yes, all yours.” You babbled as your bouncing began to speed up. “Forever.” You promised and it seemed to calm him for now. He finally took pity on you and began to move inside you, hitting your spot again and again.

“I bet he couldn’t pleasure you like this.” Urban hummed out as his own moans finally escaped him. “Urb..” You cried out, both at his words and actions as he fucked you deeper, if that was even possible at this point. Your whole body seemed to be shaking now; you didn’t even think it was possible to cum this many times. He continued his quick, harsh thrusts as you tried to bounce. Your heart was racing and you could hear it in your ears. His thicker fingers moved to tease your clit some more as you tried to hide from the pleasure. His hands moved to find your breasts now as he pinched and palmed them to his heart’s content. His own stomach was tightening now.

It was only a moment or two later when your orgasm ripped through you; squirting around his cock and onto his stomach, which only seemed to make him more aroused. “Fuck, Y/N” He moaned your name as he finally came inside you. You leaned in and captured those lips of his as your body continued to shake some more. You slowly moved from him and near enough collapsed next to Urban. He moved onto his side as your legs tangled together. “You okay?” He asked, in slight worry he’d gone too far but you only hummed and snuggled closer to him in near exhaustion. “Good. Too good.” You babbled into his ear and he smirked; pride swirling inside him.

“I love you.” He whispered into your ear. His fingers moving through your locks. “I love you too.” You sleepily responded before hiding into his neck to fall asleep. Your body needed it’s rest as you clutched onto him. Your legs tangled with his as you hummed. Urban could only watch with the softest look ever. He really didn’t deserve you. He pulled the covers up, cocooning you both and keeping you close as he soon fell asleep. All the thoughts of you finding someone better leaving him and he could finally relax. 

~

“God, Urban. I can’t move.” You whined as you turned over. The soft aches on your body hadn’t left during the night and you could only curl up. “I’ll give you a bath.” Urban coed into your ear, softly kissing your cheek as he hid the growing smirk coming across his face. He had done a number on you and it was the hottest thing ever.

[tumblezwei]

So, I’m not super great at the whole “final overall review” kind of thing because my thoughts are too scattered to ever form that kind of thing properly, but here are my final thoughts about Ice Queendom as a whole.

First, to get this out of the way, as a standalone project IQ is a 6/10, some episodes are a 4. The recap in the beginning does a decent job of catching newcomers up to speed with what RWBY is about in vol 1, but it just doesn’t have enough time to establish a lot of core elements that would have made the original story they added better. JNPR’s friendship with RWBY is completely brushed over, especially Ruby’s friendship with Jaune. Ren and Nora getting even less screen time than they did in volume 1, which is saying a a lot. The dynamic just isn’t there so JNPR being present for Weiss’s Nightmare treatment just feels forced, and I imagine would feel especially so for people who haven’t been following these characters and their friendship for 9 years.

The middle of the show drags. It was one of my fears that I had hoped wouldn’t come to pass, but there is way too much time spent slowly going through Weiss’s Nightmare, leaving to regroup, and going back to do the same thing. I think it would have benefited the show greatly if they had varied up the environments a lot more so we weren’t backtracking to the same three locations multiple times in a row. It would have been great if they really pushed the symbolism and abstractness of the Nightmare realm. Or if they couldn’t, they should have cut the amount of time RWBY was in the nightmare to make more room for vol 1 recap.

The animation took a nosedive. Am I surprised? Of course not. This is a D-list anime made for a niche audience that of course wouldn’t get the care and attention that something like...I dunno Attack on Titan or My Hero Academia would get. But it’s not just the poor quality of the action scenes in some episodes, but the lackluster and sometimes downright awful directing. Episode 10 had the worst of it imo but sometimes I truly had to stop and go “wait where are we what’s going on?” And there are other times where the animation itself is decent, but you could tell it’s not as polished as it should be. 

The racism subplot is not helped by IQ’s tenuous addition to canon. It leaves the topic just as shallow and unexplored as it was in volume 1. While we do get to explore Weiss’s inner psyche more in depth and it does lead to some interesting developments, ultimately it doesn’t really say anything new or profound. It’s the same “we’re both at fault” message that RWBY had already outgrown years ago with a funky new hat. 

Suffice to say, if I wasn’t already a RWBY fan I would have stopped watching this around episode 6 or so. maybe I would have stayed for Ruby because my love for her is fated in the stars, but it would have been in spite of everything else around her.

Ok I’m done shitting on it let’s transition.

As a RWBY fan? This is a fucking 10/10 show are you kidding me????

Players and Pieces animated??? White Rose nation waking from their long slumber?? Yang roasting the shit out of Weiss at any given opportunity?? Actually really good and accurate characterization of all the characters that made me see that yes, this is a labor of love and people cared about it?? A (still heavily flawed) exploration of Weiss’s prejudice that we should have gotten on volume 1?? RUBY USING HER SILVER EYES???

How can I not love this show

Even when it dragged there was always something that RWBY fans could point to and freak out about. Whether it was shipping fodder or character analysis or pointing out how this or that scene parallels with something from the OG show, every episode had something to like about it. Y’all know how I freaked the hell out about Ruby in episodes 8-9. A newcomer wouldn’t be able to have that reaction, BUT I SURE FUCKING DID. Would yang using her semblance make any sense for someone who wasn’t already introduced to it in the trailers and volume 1? Absolutely not, BUT THAT SCENE WAS HYPE AS FUCK.

The fights during the middle part weren’t anything to write home about, but when it came to showing off the parts of OG RWBY that made it some beloved the animators went all out. And honestly that’s all I care about. 

The racism subplot didn’t say anything new but it gave me a way to further analyze and obssess over these characters that I already love so much. 

Watching Pyrrha pine over Jaune and crying about it because it’s Pyrrha. Seeing hints in the dialogue about Ren’s semblance. Me personally saying “her right arm, are you fucking kidding me?” when Yang reached out to Blake to pull her out of her Nightmare. The Little Weisses!!! Analyzing the hell out of the Nightmare when we first saw it because of course we know everything about Weiss and we could pick up on those little details. Bat Whitley getting shot like 3 times. Me personally, again, saying “fuck off, Ozpin” when he was like “sometimes adversity reveals your true power :)”

Fun in a way only a RWBY fan can experience. And that’s me, so I had a lot of fun with this show.

And all of this was written before the last episode aired today. And upon seeing that episode, everything still stands as I expected it would, but I have a bit more to say. IQ was made for RWBY veterans. It was made for people who’ve been watching this show for nearly 10 years and have loved it through all of it’s growing pains. I’ve seen the sentiment that the food fight at the end wasn’t as well done as the original, and yeah I agree. But the problem with that criticism, in my opinion, is that IQ’s food fight was never meant to act like a replacement. It was an homage. It was the show going “look at this, you remember this, right? You remember how you felt when you first watched it?” 

IQ is kind of a mess. Some of that mess could be fixed with more time and budget, some of it couldn’t. But I still think it deserves a place in RWBY fandom history, because it’s made by people who know and who love RWBY as much as we do. 

Now give me a season 2 focusing on the time skip between volume 3 and 4.

[peachycoreroo]

Hey!! could you do another "using the safe word" with kuroo, oikawa and tsukishima? thank you💕

characters: kuroo tetsurou, oikawa tooru, tsukishima kei

genre: smut, bit of angst, fluff at the end

word count: 1.7k

warnings: mean boys:(, fem!reader, vaginal penetration, degradation (duh), big dicked boys ig, use of the safe word, cervix abusing, kitten as a pet name, use of ‘slut’, ‘bitch’, ‘slutty’, ‘whore’, choking on a dick, one (1) face slap, daddy kink, master kink, jealousy, oral m!receiving, car sex

authors note: of course nonnie!! thanks for liking the first one sm that you wanted to request another<3 not really proof-read oopsie, but just another reminder that your favs would never hurt you and this is purely fiction<3

pt.1: suna rintarou, kita shinsuke, shirabu kenjirou

kuroo tetsurou:

it wasn’t your fault.

truly, it wasn’t. you didn’t even realize you gave off the wrong impression. sure, kuroos’ colleague was kind of sleazy and didn’t stop giving you compliments at the annual company christmas party, but you didn’t think he had any malicious intent. you just thanked him and spoke to him a bit about his work, while kuroo was busy catching up with his superiors.

but all your boyfriend was hearing were excuses when you said the exact same thing to him while he confronted you.

so now, here you were. getting pounded into oblivion in the backseat of his expensive, slick tesla. he didn’t even let you take the new car for a ride yet, but he’s already fucking you in the back of it. priorities.

“fucking slut”, kuroo hissed through clenched teeth, “can’t let you out of my sight even for a second, huh? already running to the next best man to pay attention to you. needy fucking whore.”

the next thrust hit your cervix at an angle that hurt more than it brought you pleasure the way the action normally did, but when you cried out in pain, the tall man behind you only covered your mouth with his large palm and lowly threatened: “you better shut the fuck up and take it, you ungrateful brat, or i’ll give you something to cry about.”

this felt wrong. it felt vile, mean and much darker than your usual jealous sex with him. you weren’t against degradation by any means, kuroos’ smooth voice could be reading the encyclopedia and you would cum just from listening, but this was different.

maybe it was the way he didn’t listen to your explanation, the way not a word of praise was mixed in with the degrading, or the way he kept hitting your cervix at a painful angle, as if to hurt you on purpose.

not your fault. unfair. cruel. vicious. stop. stop. stop!

this were the only thoughts that crossed your mind as your screams and protests got muffled by tetsurous’ large hand. not being able to take it anymore, as he continued to spew harsh remarks, too deep in his jealousy to see how uncomfortable you were, you slithered your arm behind you and tapped his thigh three times. you were never more grateful for the fact that you both decided on a non-verbal safe word when he finally stopped and immediately slipped out of you.

“kitten? fuck, are you ok?”, he questioned, worried, and now hyperaware of the fact that you weren’t reacting as usual as the haze clouding his mind finally subdued.

energy completely spent, you could only fall forward, curling up into a ball, a heart wrenching sob leaving your lips.

“i didn’t m-mean to tetsu’! i was just t-talking to him because i didn’t w-want to annoy you”, you cried apologetically, hands covering your tear-stained face from the black-haired male.

fuck. kuroo could practically feel his chest tighten as he took in your wailing, weak state. he was responsible for this. not his colleague, not you, just him.

slowly, as if afraid to scare you with any sudden movements, he reached out, pulling you into his lap and wrapping his strong arms tightly around you.

“i should be the one apologizing, i’m so sorry, kitten. you never annoy me, you know that, right?”, he softly whispered against your temple, pressing light kisses against it between sentences.

sniffling, you pressed your face against his neck, shamefully mumbling: “you were so busy talking to your superiors, i didn’t want to be the clingy, bothersome girlfriend.”

“you never are. i love you more than anything, ok?” his tender voice as he directed your gaze towards him and gently smiled, had butterflies erupting in your stomach just like the first time you talked to him.

“i love you too, tetsu’.”

oikawa tooru:

„d-dirty fucking bitch.“

was it supposed to sound this…unsure? and were both of your cheeks supposed to burn in embarrassment as if you were two virgins exploring your bodies for the first time?

when your boyfriend first introduced the idea of degrading you in the bedroom, you weren’t too sure, but from the sound of it, he wasn’t either. he normally opted for praise, wanting to shower you in affection and love in any and every situation. where the idea to degrade you came from, was a mystery to you.

it’s as if oikawa was able to feel how you weren’t taking him seriously, because the next thing you knew he had your thighs in a bruising grip, trapping them against the mattress with his large palm by your head and picked up his pace to an animalistic pace.

“fucking slutty brat. not taking her daddy serious? i thought you knew better than that”, he growled, annoyed, while your eyes widened when his fat cock reached new, painful depths in the current position he had you in.

“other women would do anything to have me underneath them, pounding the living shit out of them, while you’re just taking it all for granted. i should just pick one of my groupies at the next game, then you would come crawling back, huh?”

this isn’t what you signed up for. it hurt. everything hurt. the snaps of his powerful hips against yours, his mean threats and his blunt nails digging into the flesh of your thighs.

when big, salty tears started forming, you couldn’t help a whiny, displeased ‘turquoise!’ escaping you. the brunets’ thrusts halted as soon as the word left your mouth, his wide, shocked eyes meeting yours, before realizing how stressed out you were, making him pull out and embrace you without a care about crushing you.

“this was the worst idea i’ve ever had, even more than that one time where i tried to bake iwa-chan a birthday cake and almost burned down his own kitchen on his birthday! i hate hurting you, please don’t cry i- “, oikawa started rambling against your throat, only to pause when he heard you lightly chuckle through your tears.

“yeah, they were both pretty shitty ideas, tooru.”

pouting, he mumbled: “’m sorry.”

you quickly wiped away the tears hindering you from seeing your gorgeous boyfriend before softly suggesting: “let’s just stick with praise, ok?”

the man above you nodded eagerly in agreement before leaning down and capturing your lips in a gentle kiss.

tsukishima kei:

this wasn’t anything new if you were honest.

the usual feeling of your boyfriends’ long cock down your throat was always welcome, and the degrading nicknames leaving his slightly chapped lips were usually a huge turn-on, panties sticking to your wet, puffy pussy.

but today was different.

you had an awful day and just wanted some soft sex to make you feel wanted and needed, unlike your horrible job made you feel. not only were you running around fixing other people’s mistakes, but you were also constantly reminded that if you didn’t, it’d be easy to replace you.

though when you got home and your tall, blond boyfriend told you how much he needed you, you didn’t have the heart to deny him. now you’re on your knees between his spread thighs, while he sits on a wooden chair in your shared kitchen, his grunts and low condescending ‘such a fucking slut’s and ‘only good for sucking cock, huh?’s filling the space.

your displeased hum and you trying to pull off his cock, got interpreted the wrong way, as he placed a large hand on your head just to push you back down on his long cock, your gagging and choking replacing his sounds of pleasure.

“a good fucking whore keeps doing her job until her master says otherwise”, tsukki provocatively hissed as your teeth grazed the sides of his throbbing length.

you suddenly flinched as you felt a striking sensation on your right cheek, when the blondes big palm collided with it, tears that have already formed from the rough treatment now rolling down your hurting cheeks.

“you’re only good for sucking cock and getting off, so if you can’t do that, i just might need to find a better fucking bitch to get me off.”

at that, you couldn’t hold back the agonizing sob that left you, making you choke on his length once again and with a weak slap to his left thigh, he knew something wasn’t right.

immediately, tsukishima pulled you off his length, trying to be as gentle as he could with his hair tangled in your hair and gently patting your cheek to bring you back to reality, only to freeze when you scrambled away from his touch as if he was about to hit you and cry: “i’m sorry! don’t hit me!”

if you weren’t sobbing loudly, burying your face in your hands, you might’ve noticed how the cogs inside your boyfriends’ mind started turning and his hands shaking from the realization of what he had done.

“y/n…i’m not going to hit you. look at me, please”, tsukkis’ unusually gentle voice reached your ears, making you slowly lift your head and look at him through a blurry curtain of tears.

you could see a slight pink hue spread across his cheekbones up to his ears before he shyly whispered: “you’re the only one for me. i would never replace you, and you’re not only here to get me off. i love you too much for that. i’m sorry if i went too far.”

when you only continued to stare at him with teary eyes, the blonds’ blush deepened and he broke eye contact, too embarrassed at the affectionate phrases leaving his lips just a few seconds ago. it’s not that he’s ashamed of admitting his devotion to you, he just prefers to show it in other ways.

“i love you too, kei. the blush really suits you; you know.”

“shut up”, he grumbled in mock annoyance, a smile creeping onto his handsome features when you laughed.

tagging: @weepinglevi, @thighridingsamu, i feel kinda annoying tagging you but you both said i should tag you in everything so,,,,thanks for being my biggest supporters guys<3

[makeste]

“but I thought about how I needed to say this”

a.k.a. yet another meta dissection of The Apology. I actually wrote most of this up on Friday night based on the original Japanese (@pikahlua​ has an excellent translation up here, and I also used @hanashimas’ translations as a reference as well), but I wanted to wait until the official release, though that turned out to be a mixed bag to say the least lol.

I would also recommend reading @pikahlua​ and @class1akids​’ breakdowns of this scene (here and here, respectively), because they are excellent, and because if any scene deserves to have as many meta breakdowns written about it as possible, it’s this one.

anyway so here goes.

Caleb did a more accurate job with this than the fanscan, even if he did try his best to take us out of the seriousness of the moment by throwing in that swiss cheese line lol. anyway so there are two things I want to talk about here. the first is the line about Izuku not remembering, which I thought was a nice touch. of course he doesn’t remember what Kacchan said back then. he wasn’t exactly in the soundest emotional state after seeing one of the people he cares about most taking a near-fatal blow that was meant for him. I’d be shocked if he remembers anything about the aftermath (including the way he flew into a mindless rage afterwards) right up until the point when he entered the OFA Interstellar Party Void with Tomura. anyway, so I thought that was a nice callback.

and speaking of emotional states, the other thing I wanted to talk about is the part that Caleb got right which the fan scanlation didn’t. “but I had more to say.” in other words, “stop trying to win on your own” wasn’t just a one-liner; it was meant to be the beginning of a much longer speech. “there were other things that I needed to say.”

like, can we just stop and talk about that for a second. because basically what this means is that in that instant, when Kacchan pushed Deku out of the way and got impaled, his one and only thought was that he needed to apologize to Deku. his life was presumably flashing before his eyes, he had no idea if he was going to survive or not, and the only thing on his mind was how urgently he needed to make things right with his former childhood friend.

moving on!

so I have a confession to make, which is that I am relieved to see Katsuki describing this as the reason why he bullied Deku, as opposed to Horikoshi trying to retcon it into some sort of “secretly he was just trying to protect him and keep him out of harm’s way because he was worried” thing, which ngl would not have gelled very well with me. the thing is that I’m really not a fan of the whole “Kacchan Did Nothing Wrong” mentality that some fans seem to have. like, I have seen all sorts of convoluted attempts to find excuses for Katsuki’s shitty behavior, but in my view those attempts undermine what I love about his character in the first place. Katsuki is such a great character specifically because he is not perfect. his redemption arc is so compelling because he was such a giant asshole at the start. he was completely at fault, and he acknowledges this, and takes full responsibility for it. and that is fucking fantastic.

his arc is so great because it doesn’t rely on garnering sympathy by giving him a Tragic Past, or by trying to foist the blame for his behavior over on someone else. it’s an arc that acknowledges that redemption isn’t something you achieve by making people feel sorry for you; it’s something you have to earn by actively working to change and do better. and by forgoing the “misunderstood/tragic past” route, Horikoshi is making a statement that anyone can go down the wrong path, but that more importantly, anyone can also choose at any time to turn away from said path. there is only one requirement for doing so, and that is realizing that you’ve done wrong, and deciding that you want to change.

anyway, so in chapter 284 Kacchan of course had that whole speech about Deku not taking himself into account, and mentioned how that made him want to keep his distance. and a good chunk of fandom took this to mean that Katsuki’s bullying was actually a misguided response to Deku’s reckless tendencies -- sort of an “if I show him how weak and powerless he really is, I can get him to accept the reality that he’s quirkless, and that being a hero will just get him hurt or killed” type of thing. and I won’t lie, for a good while I was wondering myself if Horikoshi was really going to go down that route. and like I said, I am honestly relieved that he didn’t. not only for the reasons stated in the previous paragraph, but also because the message that would have sent -- that there are certain circumstances in which bullying can almost be excused because the bully had Good Intentions and was just trying to save the other person from themselves, and so it Wasn’t That Bad, Actually -- is all kinds of fucked up to say the least. so yeah, I’m glad we ended up steering well clear of that.

(ETA: this post was long enough already so I edited out the 3 additional paragraphs I originally wrote analyzing the dialogue from 284. but just to be clear, I’m not trying to imply that Kacchan worrying about Deku’s recklessness is a retconned thing that Horikoshi only threw into the story recently, because there are multiple instances throughout the story where he clearly is worried and in total denial of it. but I firmly believe those feelings are not what led to the bullying. they’re two separate things. Kacchan worrying about Deku is what prompts him to yell at him in chapter 1 when Deku comes to save him. but it’s not what incited him to burn his notebook and taunt him earlier in that same chapter. that action had a much meaner and more selfish motivation behind it, and I’m glad Horikoshi didn’t try to change it up last minute, because it wouldn’t have felt right.)

thankfully as of this chapter I think we can safely cross that out as a possibility, as we’re given the true explanation straight from Katsuki himself. and the truth is that he bullied Deku out of insecurity and jealousy and fear and intolerance. there was nothing noble about it. there were no good intentions concealed in his actions. there are no justifications given, no excuses offered, and no mitigating circumstances to be considered, other than the fact (which neither he nor Horikoshi bring up) that he was and is still a child, and that children make mistakes.

it’s an explanation that challenges many of fandom’s ideas on who is and isn’t eligible to be redeemed. there is no Ozai in Katsuki’s backstory. there’s no great tragedy that he spent a lifetime trying to rise above. the only villain in Katsuki’s story is Katsuki himself. the only darkness that he has to overcome is his own. and it’s challenging, because I think many people believe the only way someone can be redeemed for doing bad things is if bad things happen to them in return. but what Horikoshi is saying here is that that’s not the case. bad doesn’t erase bad. and the one and only way to truly earn redemption is by doing good.

and that’s what makes this such a phenomenal scene for me. by not shying away from Katsuki’s flaws and failings, and having him take full responsibility for them, Horikoshi keeps the apology from being self-serving, and underscores the true depth of Katsuki’s character development. the level of self-awareness he has here is something most people can only dream of. which is very fitting, as that’s perhaps the most important takeaway from his character arc -- that it’s only by acknowledging your own weaknesses and flaws that you can learn to overcome them and reach your full potential.

one last thing to point out here, which is that in the panel where Katsuki finally acknowledges his terrible treatment of Deku, Deku is not even visible. instead, Horikoshi drew the panel from a perspective that makes it appear that Katsuki is addressing this particular line not just to Deku, but to all of his classmates.

again, he shows him taking full responsibility and admitting his wrongdoings in front of the people whose opinions and approval he cares about most. and just to clarify in case there’s any confusion from Caleb’s translation, Kacchan’s wording makes it very clear that he wasn’t just “mean” to Deku, but that he full-on bullied him (he uses the same verb -- “ijimeru” (苛める) -- that he did back in chapter 284). there’s no attempt to downplay his actions here.

moving on now, this chapter also reaffirmed another thing about Deku and Kacchan’s relationship which I was glad to see revisited -- Kacchan’s unwavering belief in Deku’s ability. this is one of those paradoxical things about their relationship which I’ve always been fascinated by, but which is also kind of hard to explain, because I don’t want it to come off like I’m trying to put a positive spin on something which was unequivocally awful. like, please don’t think I’m trying to say that Katsuki’s bullying of Deku was in any way a good thing. but that being said, there’s also a strange irony at play here, which is that Katsuki’s jealousy and insecurity also betray the fact that even at his very worst, he never once underestimated Deku. he has always believed in Deku’s strength, even when that strength pissed him off and made him afraid and uneasy.

no one else -- not All Might, or even Deku’s own mom -- believed from the get-go that Deku could become a hero. but Katsuki never once counted him out, even when he was calling him a pebble in his shoe. he confesses here that even though he “tried to act superior by rejecting [Deku]”, in truth he was never able to shake the feeling that Deku was above him. long before he ever understood the concept of “win to save”, he knew instinctively that there was a strength in Deku’s heart that couldn’t be measured, and which had the potential to surpass even his own strength. and I’ve always felt that this was so important, because it’s the one aspect of their early relationship that hinted that on some level, however subconscious, Katsuki held the same type of faith in Deku that Deku always held in him. it was one of the few things that hinted at there being a possible path towards reconciliation one day. and it paved the way for the most important shift in their relationship to date, when Katsuki finally realized who Deku got his quirk from, and responded not with resentment or spite, but with acceptance.

moving on, I also really love the way we see them portrayed at the different stages of their childhood throughout this speech, and how it perfectly lines up with the dialogue. from small children (when Katsuki talks about his insecurities first manifesting), to middle schoolers (when he talks about the bullying), to high schoolers (when he talks about the past year and everything he’s learned at U.A.). Horikoshi really didn’t have to go that hard, but he did, and that’s why we love him.

and then we finally get to That Part.

where do I even start with this there are so many things omg.

the bow. this is the one and only time Katsuki has ever bowed to anyone of his own volition as far as I recall. and this absolutely is a bow, just to be clear, even though his form is straight-up garbage (very Kacchan-esque, with his feet and arms spaced apart because he’s still a punk after all). this is Kacchan showing more humility and respect than he’s ever shown to anyone else in his entire life.

regarding “Izuku”, I actually have mixed feelings about this to tell the truth. I think it was a good call here because it was incredibly effective in setting the tone and showing just how serious Kacchan is. however if he continues to use “Izuku” rather than “Deku” from here on out, that would give the impression in hindsight that all his past usage of “Deku” really was meant as an insult, which would undermine some of my favorite scenes. I would really like to believe that since DvK2 or thereabouts, Kacchan has (mostly) been using “Deku (affectionate)” rather than “Deku (useless loser)”, lol. but if he switches to the “nicer” name on a permanent basis following his apology, it implies that the previous nickname was indeed being used cruelly. and so honestly I hope this was just a one-time thing, because I do think that in Katsuki’s mind, the name “Deku” hasn’t been meant as a slight to him for a long time now.

“my truth/this is what I truly feel” -- the word Katsuki uses in Japanese is honne (本音), and if you’re familiar with the concept of honne/tatemae, that’s the same “honne” he’s talking about here. it means that he’s casting aside all of his walls and facades and expressing what he truly feels. and of course, one of the fascinating things about Katsuki’s character is that he’s the exact opposite of most people in that he chooses to put his meanness on full display to the public, and ironically it’s the kindest parts of himself which he tends to keep the most carefully guarded and hidden away. this also means that while his rage and anger are very often insincere and put on just for show, those relatively few occasions where he lets his humanity truly shine through are pretty much 100% genuine, as is the case with this one here.

and Deku’s face says it all when it comes to how powerful those moments can be as a result.

and this, right here, is why it wasn’t enough for Katsuki to atone solely through his actions, and why he needed to actually say the words as well. it’s not that the words are more important; obviously the actions are far and away the most important part, and carry far more meaning. but the reason why Katsuki needed to say the words as well is simply because Izuku needed to hear them. needed to, and deserved to, because this is one of the most important people in the world to him.

and so he deserves to know that the relationship isn’t just one-sided, and that he is just as important to Kacchan as Kacchan is to him. he deserves to know that Kacchan understands how horribly he treated him, and that he’s sorry for it. and he deserves to know that Kacchan, without any expectation of it changing their relationship -- meaning that he will continue to feel this way regardless of what Izuku says or does from here on out -- cares about him. now more than ever, with AFO out there doing everything in his power to make Izuku feel as alone as possible, this is something that he really, really needed to hear.

so this part has some interesting wordplay which neither Caleb’s translation nor the fan scanlation was really able to get across. basically, in the Japanese version, when Katsuki talks about “those ideals”, Horikoshi uses the kanji for “ideal”, but pronounces it as “All Might.” obviously the meaning of this isn’t too hard to decipher, as we all know how much both boys admire All Might. to them, he absolutely is synonymous with the Ideal. so this is a way of showing that respect they both have towards him, even as Katsuki goes on to point out the one fatal flaw that All Might was never able to overcome.

and speaking of interesting wording, as others have noted, at this point in his speech Katsuki switches from “temee” (which he was using earlier during the “your strengths and my weaknesses” part) to “omae” (“omae” being a less insulting word for “you”, though still very manly and tough-sounding), which is definitely a big deal. though fwiw this is not the first time he’s used “omae” for Deku (he switches to it briefly right after DvK2, when he tells Deku “you had the strongest guy lay the groundwork for you -- don’t lose”, and then later when they’re walking back to the dorms and he says he’ll learn and get stronger by watching everyone around him just like Deku did). it’s definitely a good choice on Horikoshi’s part though, as it makes this last part of the speech sound more earnest and sincere.

just a quick note, he does indeed use a plural pronoun here, as in “the obstacles that you can’t overcome, we will overcome.” but as @pikahlua​ pointed out, the “we” here is ambiguous -- it could either mean “we” as in class 1-A -- “we will overcome them for you” -- OR it could mean “we” as in all of them -- class 1-A and Deku. “we will overcome them together.” idk about you, but I know which one gets my vote.

anyway, and so this is the line that finally wins Deku over and allows him to let go of his fears, however briefly. what I love about this is Kacchan’s utter conviction. one thing that Caleb’s translation doesn’t quite get across is Kacchan’s use of the word morenaku -- “without exception” -- when he talks about how they’re going to save everyone and win. it echoes that same sentiment he showed back during the Joint Training arc -- that it’s not a perfect victory unless they save everyone. every last person. and he explicitly lists Deku among their number, just so there can be no doubt.

and Deku’s response to this (or at least his thoughts, since he’s not really able to get many words out) pretty much brings everything full circle here.

he acknowledges that everyone else has gotten ahead of him. which is especially meaningful given who he’s standing directly across from. because for most of the series, as we all well know, it’s been Kacchan who was woefully lagging behind Deku in the character growth department. but now Deku himself is acknowledging that not only has Kacchan finally caught up at last, but that he and the others have surpassed him. which is only temporary, I should add, as I have zero doubt that Deku will catch up again soon. but the fact remains that just as Deku’s rapid increase in strength and skill left Kacchan scrambling to keep up earlier in the series, Kacchan’s extraordinary character development has now left Deku in that same position. as All Might once put it, “when he’s starting at level one, and you’re already at level 50, it’s only natural that you’ll be growing at different rates.”

and what’s so wonderful about this though is that the two of them are finally approaching that point where they’ve both caught up to each other and are finally starting to level out. Deku is a full-on badass, and Kacchan is out here talk-no-jutsuing with the best of them. the two of them have been chasing and chasing after each other this entire time, and now they’re finally just about ready to meet in the middle at long last, with each of them fully embodying both of those two crucial aspects -- win, and save.

just about. because Deku still needs some help catching up. but seeing as help has already been offered -- and accepted -- I can’t imagine it will be very long now, and I can’t wait to see him finally overcoming those fears and doubts with his friends by his side. it’s going to be such a powerful moment.

and last but not least,

or, as I prefer,

you had one job, Caleb. flkjsdlk.

but at least this provides a good opportunity to note that unlike the “we’ll help you handle it” line earlier in the speech, here the phrasing is left up to interpretation, as he doesn’t use a pronoun. so it could be “we know”, or, as the fan scanlation put it, “I know.” or it could be both. regardless, it’s good stuff.

anyway, and so Deku passes out, and in the process Horikoshi gives us one last parting metaphor, just in case anyone still thinks Kacchan is all talk because they haven’t been paying attention for the past 322 chapters (more likely than you think). once again, Katsuki’s actions speak louder than his words (even his nice words) ever could: he is literally there to catch Deku when he falls.

so that’s it! my sincere thanks to anyone who actually read through all of my endless ramblings about this scene which I have been waiting for since day one. props to Horikoshi for taking on an impossibly difficult task, and pulling it off with all of the emotion and care and nuance that I’ve come to expect from his writing. imo he delivered on every single level with the exception of the aftermath, which I don’t consider to have actually happened yet. Deku’s part of this is definitely a “to be continued.” but yeah, as far as Kacchan’s part goes, 10/10. so fucking proud of this kid.

[wandaromanova]

Little Sister

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Reader

Warnings: one cuss word, minor BW spoilers

A/N: hello! i’d like to note that this takes place sometime before the events in the Black Widow movie! if you haven’t seen the movie yet, please skip over this story and come back later if you’d like! happy reading <3

anon requested: hiii i have a fluff request after seeing bw haha: could you do nat x fem reader where they're laying in bed snuggling, and r asks her about her family and nat tells her and r notices how cute she looks when she's talking about yelena and it's so soft and ahhhh

Summary: Natasha tells her girlfriend about a piece of her past that she never talks about; her sister.

Word Count: 2K

| masterlist | request rules/guidelines | wips |

please do not repost or try and take ownership of my work. reblogs, likes, and comments are always welcome. <3

Natasha Romanoff has lived a lot of lives. She has been through more than most.

Nat had been taken as an infant by an organization that trained little girls to become lethal assassins.

She was psychologically conditioned to become a killer, having taken more lives than she could count.

Eventually, Natasha had managed to break free from the cage she was forced into and was recruited as a S.H.I.E.L.D agent; it was a new start for her, an opportunity to compensate for the red in her ledger.

So, Natasha took her job seriously, saving as many people as she could, even more so when she became an Avenger; one of earth’s mightiest heroes.

Natasha found something in the team that she never really had before; a family. She found a home within the dysfunctional team she had been recruited into.

Not only did Natasha find a family within the Avengers; she also found the love of her life.

Natasha hadn’t even considered the possibility of ever finding love.

For starters, the Red Room had instilled the concept that love was nothing but a distraction; a liability.

She had been taught that love was for children and it was nothing but a weakness that needed to be avoided at all costs.

She was quite literally programmed to be emotionally closed off and to always have her guard up. Letting someone into her heart was a risk she didn’t want to take.

When Natasha gained her independence from the organization, she had to do a lot of self-discovering. She had never been able to be her own person, but now that she could, she quickly learned that she didn’t even know herself.

However, it was Natasha’s insecurities that truly turned her off from the entire idea of love.

How could any ever possibly love her? She thought she was a monster for the things she’d done. She has done the unspeakable since ever she was a child.

What if she wasn’t enough? What if her baggage was too much for someone else to carry? She didn’t want to be a burden. She didn’t want to have to protect someone, just to fail them like she had failed so many others.

Natasha was positive that no one would ever be crazy enough to love her.

Little did she know, she would end up finding someone crazy enough to do so; you.

•❅──────────────── ‎⧗ ────────────────❅•

When the Avengers were formed, you were extremely nervous about it.

All of the files that you’ve read on your new teammates were unbelievable; they were all phenomenal in their own rights. A super-soldier, a god, a genius, a trained-spy.

You were a spy yourself, so you knew exactly who Natasha Romanoff was. She was a S.H.I.E.L.D legend, the best of the best.

You were more nervous about meeting her than anyone else. What if she judged you? What if she didn’t think you were good enough to be an agent, let alone an Avenger?

Not only was she your superior, but she was also your crush. Yeah, you’d never even met the woman before, but you were crushing on her hard.

She was drop-dead gorgeous, but also quite literally a deadly force. Natasha could easily take down anyone she wanted to, and honestly, you wanted to be one of those lucky people.

When you met Natasha for the first time, you were a flustered mess. The redhead found it amusing, how your cheeks turned a bright shade of red and you stumbled over your words as you praised her work.

Natasha never told you this, but she was immediately smitten the moment she laid eyes on you.

There was a kindness and positivity that just radiated off of you and it was extremely contagious.

You were this beaming ball of light that lit up the darkest parts of her soul.

•❅──────────────── ‎⧗ ────────────────❅•

You got to know Natasha extremely well while being on the team. From observing her closely and paying very close attention to her actions, you had managed to pick up on little things.

She didn’t put any creamer or sugar in her sugar; opting for strong, black coffee.

She was kind of a clean freak. If she saw something out of place, she would be quick to put it in the correct place or position.

When she was happy, she would let a small smirk cross her features. When she was annoyed, she would raise her eyebrows.

When she was stressed out or angry, three little creases would appear on her forehead as her eyebrows would knit together tightly; a subtle frown on her face.

Of course, when you began dating the redhead, you didn’t really have to survey her so closely anymore because she’d tell you things herself.

No matter the circumstances, Natasha would always come to you and rant about it. Whether it was about how shitty a mission went or how she beat Clint’s ass during training; you were the only person she wanted to tell.

Natasha had opened up to you, something she never did with anyone. She told you all about her past.

•❅──────────────── ‎⧗ ────────────────❅•

You had some knowledge of Natasha’s previous life, considering it was in her files, but you didn’t realize just how horrible her childhood truly was.

The Red Room, the heavy weight of guilt that rests on her shoulders, the nightmares that forced her to relive the murders she committed, her time as a S.H.I.E.L.D agent, and becoming an Avenger.

She’d go on and on about her road to redemption or ‘clearing the red out of her ledger.’

Natasha was terrified when she told you about her demons. She figured you were going to leave her the second she finished talking, waiting for you to get up and walk out the door, but you didn’t.

So, you completely caught her off guard when you pulled her into a bone-crushing hug, placing a soft kiss onto her temple, the redhead relaxing in your embrace.

“You’re the strongest person I know. It’s not your fault, you were forced and conditioned to do the things you did.”

Natasha focused on the sound of your voice and took in your words as you softly caressed her red locks with one hand.

“Baby, the amount of respect I have for you is immeasurable. I applaud you for turning your life around for the better. I’m so fucking proud of you.”

Your words had brought tears to Natasha’s eyes, which was a rare occurrence.

She was expecting you to run for the hills, but you chose to pull her closer instead.

In that moment, Natasha knew she never had to be afraid of love again.

You were the most understanding and accepting person she’d ever met.

You would never judge her for her worst mistakes; Natasha had found the one for her and she wasn’t ever going to let go.

•❅──────────────── ‎⧗ ────────────────❅•

Now, a few months later and a year into your relationship with the Russian, you were both lying in bed and cuddling.

You were both watching a movie when a particular scene came on. It was of a family gathering around a Christmas tree, children excitedly opening up presents with gleeful smiles across their faces.

“You know, my sister and I got to take pictures with a Christmas tree once.” Natasha spoke, her eyes fixated on the screen.

You looked up at her in shock. You didn’t know that Natasha had a sister. She told you that she didn’t even so much as know her parent’s names.

Natasha looked down and noticed your confused expression. She reached for the remote on the bedside table and paused the movie before returning her gaze to you.

“There was a mission I was assigned to in Ohio, as a kid. I was assigned to play the daughter of two other Russian spies, Alexei and Melina. It wasn’t just me though, there was a little girl who was assigned as my younger sister. Her name is Yelena.”

Natasha had a reminiscent, happy smile on her face as she recalled the brief period time of her childhood. She looked absolutely adorable as she rambled on about this part of her childhood.

“We took photoshoots of various holidays to make our family look more realistic. My favorite one was Christmas. Even though I knew they were just empty boxes, I wanted to rip open every single one.”

Natasha let out a small giggle at the thought. Even though she had a smile on her face, you could feel and hear the underlying tone of sadness in her voice.

“Yelena and I would spend hours outside, just playing together. Swinging on the swing-sets, looking up at the stars, bending over backward, and getting into a ridiculous competition to see who could hold the position the longest… I always let her win.”

You could see the fondness in her eyes, the longing. It warmed your heart that there was a small glimmer of light in Natasha’s past. There was at least a sliver of hope that she clung tightly onto throughout her time in the Red Room.

“After 3 years, the mission ended. Yelena and I were sent back to the Red Room and were torn apart from one another.

Natasha’s breathing grew heavier as she recalled the unfaithful day. The sight of her sister being taken, and not being able to do anything to help her; still haunted the redhead to this day.

“There were so many men with guns and armor, they literally ripped us away from each other. I was eleven and she was only six.”

Your heart sunk at your girlfriend’s words as her smile dropped. She tore her eyes away from yours as she blinked rapidly, fighting back tears, but failed. You reached your hand up to her cheek and wiped away the fallen droplets.

“I haven’t seen her since. I’d like to think that she found a way out and got a life of her own; a nice, happy life.”

Natasha placed her hand on top of yours before looking down at you once more. You sent her a soft smile when she let out a shaky breath.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“I knew that the it was all fake, but it was still the best part of my childhood. It was real to me.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

You nodded your head at her words. She took a brief pause, trying to regain her composure, before continuing.

“Even if we have no true relation to one another, and even if I haven’t seen her in years, she is still my little sister.”

Natasha finished off with a big gasp as sobs wracked her body. You sat up from her embrace and pulled her into your arms, just like you had many times before.

You rubbed her back soothingly as she cried into your shoulder, her tears hitting the exposed skin.

“She sounds amazing, baby. I’m really happy that you had some sort of happiness back then and I hope one day you get to see her again.”

You whispered and Natasha pulled away from the hug, still in your arms as her emerald eyes surrounded by a sea of red, a result of her crying.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“I doubt she’d even want to see me. I didn’t even try to find her. I’m a horrible sister! I-“

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

You immediately pressed your lips against hers, effectively getting the Russian to calm down. You broke the kiss when her breathing slowed.

“Honey, of course, she’d want to see you again. Like you said, you guys are sisters. I’m positive that it was just as real to her as it was to you.”

You reassured your girlfriend, her eyes a pool of worry and guilt. You rubbed your thumb against her waist, the material of your her hoodie beneath your touch.

“From what you’ve told me about the Red Room, it would’ve been impossible to find her. Stop beating yourself up over it. You’re the best, and I’m totally not biased or anything.”

Natasha let out a small chuckle at that and you smiled at her, wiping away the last of her tears. She collapsed into your hold further, shoving her face into the crook of your neck.

“Thank you. I don’t know what I’d do without you. I love you so much.”

Natasha’s words came out muffled as her face pressed further into your skin.

“You never need to thank me for anything. I’ll always be here for you, Natty.”

You hugged her as tight as you possibly could, her cold skin meeting your warmth. Natasha let out a small sigh at the feeling.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Wherever you go, I go.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

───────── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ──────────

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[quindolyn]

Yes, Sir || Remus Lupin

Request: If you’re comfortable writing it could you maybe write a Remus smut where he’s really playing into a size kink and just man handling and throwing you where he wants you? -anon

Word Count: 4410

Notes: Agh! This is my first time writing full fledged smut, I hope you enjoy it. @st0nesnglitter proof read it for me, I couldn’t bring myself to read it again so I attribute all errors to her 

Warnings: Smut, degradtion, size kink, thigh riding, sir kink, professor/student relationship, poorly written, openended cop out

Masterlist

You were lying on your stomach, sprawled along Remus’ king size, four poster bed, face pressed up against a random book you’d plucked from his extensive collection, most of which appeared to have been swiped from the library during his time at Hogwarts. You were sure the book was interesting enough but you could barely focus on it, you’d been waiting for Remus in his bedroom for at least a few hours whilst he was downstairs in his office finishing up grading assignments from his 4th years. 

But it was getting late, and you wanted Remmy. Not allowing yourself to talk yourself out of what you were about to do you pushed your body off the plush mattress, not bothering to straighten out the bedding, if things went your way it’d be in vain.

You took a double take as you passed the floor length mirror. Examining your appearance you noticed your hair was mussed from lounging about his bed trying to find a comfortable reading position. Your uniform shirt was rolled up to your elbows with the top couple of buttons undone to reveal a healthy amount of cleavage accompanied by a glimpse of the white lace of your bra. Your skirt had ridden up dangerously high, the white material of your panties peeking out from the hem of the pretty much useless piece of clothing. You’d already abandoned your thigh highs, leaving your legs enticingly bare. A smirk graced your face as you pulled your skirt up even higher before continuing out the door, down the spiral staircase to your boyfriend’s office.

“Remus?” You rapped your knuckles against the heavy oak of the door.

You were met by the deep, honey like voice of your boyfriend, “Come in.”

Pushing the door open you took in the visual of Remus hunched over at his desk, the sleeves of his button up rolled similarly to yours as he ran a calloused hand through his hair. His desk covered in papers, his hand fiddling with his quill as his lips moved silently as he read. He hadn’t realized who was at his door until he lifted his head, scratching one final note onto the paper.

“Puppy?” He quirked an eyebrow, “I thought you were upstairs, are you going back to your dorm already? M’almost done I promise, just a couple left.”

“Not going back, just wanted to see you. Been waiting too long.”

He motioned you over with a crook of his finger, pushing his chair out from the desk, patting his thigh for you to sit on, “There you go Puppy, get comfortable.” His hands found their place on your waist, helping you settle on his thigh, allowing them to wander up and down your sides, squeezing your waist and hips. “Was my Puppy getting impatient, waiting for me upstairs?”

You nodded in response, your breath hitching as his fingers found their way to the waistband of your skirt, “Are these not fitting you anymore Poppet? Do we need to get you new ones?”

“No Sir,” You mewled, shivering as one hand left your waist band, instead finding their way to the hem of the skirt, now resting on the uppermost part of your thighs.

Remus let out a disagreeing hum, resting his chin on your shoulder, looking over your shoulder to watch his fingers play with the material of your skirt. “You sure Puppy? Because I don’t think so, it's not covering anything, anyone could take a look at your pretty little arse in one of these.” He punctuated his remark by bringing his hand down against your thigh, with no skirt to soften the blow you tensed at the impact before he began massaging the sensitive area with the palm of his hand. 

“Just came from upstairs Sir, no one saw me,” You reasoned in a pathetic whine causing him to grip your jaw in his hands. 

“Did I ask for excuses Bunny?” He spat, turning your visage to face him, his usually bright, sparkling irises now dark, drowned in lust. You whined out, trying and failing to shake your head in his tight grip. “Can’t even answer me? Come on I know you can be a good girl for me, now did I ask for excuses?”

You gulped, “No.”

He tsked, “No who?”

“No Sir,” You corrected yourself, feeling your panties begin to flood at his mocking behavior. 

Satisfied, he let go of your face, taking your hand in his so that your palms were pressed together highlighting the length of his fingers as they dwarfed yours. “Good girl, now was that so hard.”

“No, Sir,” You responded obediently.

His lack of response made you nervous, knowing he was plotting something probably devious. You knew you were right when you felt his lips on your neck, planting sloppy, open mouthed kisses on the delicate flesh that resided there. Your attempts to suppress your whimpers were in vain as he sunk his teeth into the side of your neck, leaving purple marks in his wake.

“Such pretty noises,” He murmured and from the sound of his voice you could tell he his lips were pulled into a gentle smile. Your breath hitched as his hands found their way to your thighs, gripping them tightly as he planted a kiss on one of the blossoming bruises on your neck. “Such pretty noises from such a pretty slut.”

You threw your head back onto his shoulder as small waves of pleasure rippled through your body, reveling in the feeling of his hands on your body.

“Alright pup, let’s get up okay?” It took you a second to truly digest his words resulting in him leaving a gentle, but firm tap against your hip to which you scrambled up to obey him, turning so that you were facing him where he was lounging in his chair. You couldn’t help but shift from foot to foot as his eyes roamed your body, taking in each detail of your appearance, grinning like an idiot when he went to the hem of your skirt, which really was useless now, completely bunched up at your waist.

“Can you take your shirt off for me?” He asked in a cloying tone of voice, almost as one would speak to a child when asking them to perform a difficult task.

Enthusiastically nodding your head you started on the button resting right between your cleavage, the work you made in your efforts was miniscule as it took more than a minute for you to undo the top button with your shaky hands and already cloudy mind not assisting in your efforts.

You felt yourself get increasingly frustrated as you failed to get a solid grip on the next button, the plastic evading your struggling fingertips. “You having trouble there bunny?” Remus’ deep baritone sounded from his chair, you lifted your face from staring intently at your shirt to Remus’, his amusement at your being unable to perform such a simple task evident on his face. 

“S’not my fault,” You complained, “Buttons are just so fuckin slippery!” You were exasperated, this shouldn’t be taking you this long.

“What was that?” All signs of previous amusement vanished from his voice, nearly taking you out at the knees as your soft, pleading eyes met his. He was fuming and it wasn’t until he spoke next that you realized why. “Did I say you could fucking swear you slut?” His voice was cold as his posture straightened itself out.

“No,” He said, not giving you the opportunity to respond for yourself, “I didn’t. I expected you to be my good little girl, didn’t think that was unreasonable, usually so obedient for me.”

“M’sorry,” You pleaded, your hands continuing to struggle with the small buttons, “Didn’t mean to break the rules Sir, just frustrated.”

“Did I say you could talk at all?” He spat, “No, I didn’t now stop breaking the rules, don’t want you to apologize, just want you to be good for me. Now come over here and let me help you with your shirt, fucking pathetic aren’t you?”

Knowing the question was rhetorical you didn’t bother responding, instead just taking the invitation to inch yourself towards Remus until you were standing between his open legs, your fingers still shaking, not yet having abandoned the buttons you’d failed to undo.

“Your hands are so small,” Remus mused, lifting one of his to pry yours away from the material of your shirt, “How do you even get things done with these little things, oh right,” He tightened his grip on you, “You don’t. Need me to take care of everything for you, can’t even take off your shirt. S’that right baby?”

“Yes Sir,” You murmured.

“Let’s get this off of you,” It took him half the time to undo the rest of the buttons and get the shirt off you that it took you to undo one button. Remus’ pants got considerably tighter taking in your appearance, your breasts clad in his favorite color on you. 

“I’d ask you to take off your skirt too but you need my help with that too don’t you puppy?”

You were quick to nod, desperately wanting to be naked as soon as possible knowing that the sooner Remus had access to your cunt the sooner you’d be feeling good. 

Opposite to the civil, careful approach he took in ridding you of your shirt, Remus quite literally tore your skirt from your waist, leaving your skin stinging at the aggression of his act. A blush creeped up your neck as your cunt pulsed at his action, watching him inspect the ruined material.

“How can you even wear something this small? It's so small, so short. What does it even cover? I wouldn’t even fit one of my thighs.” Ironically he took the time to carefully fold the skirt and set it on his desk before pulling you even closer to his body by your waist as if you weighed nothing. He splayed his hand out against your lower stomach, frowning as he watched the skin of your belly disappear underneath it. 

“So much prettier when I can see my cock inside of it, it's practically half your size puppy.” 

“Want your cock Sir, please give me your cock,” You pleaded shamelessly, gripping at his forearms.

“Beg,” He ordered simply and unwaveringly.

Not missing a beat you did exactly as he asked, and you begged, “Please Sir, please give me your cock, I need your cock. Feel so empty without it. Please Sir, make me feel good. I’ve been a good girl I promise.”

“You wouldn’t lie to me would you bunny?”

“No Sir, I would never lie to you.”

“Good,” He nodded approvingly before swiftly pulling you down so that you were on your knees before him, “You look so pretty on your knees, so easy to get you there for me, so obedient,” He murmured affectionately brushing a finger delicately across your cheekbone which already felt warm erupted into flame at his touch.

Wordlessly he started on undoing his belt, the distinct clink of the metal sending shockwaves through your body, your mouth began watering as he undid his zipper, pulling both his trousers and boxers down slowly, allowing his hardening cock to spring out against his stomach. 

You began to reach for his cock but quickly stopped yourself, looking up at him, blinking owlishly, “Sir, may I touch your cock?”

“Go ahead Puppy.”

As soon as he granted you permission you were on your calves, kneeling forward to take his cock in your hand which barely wrapped all the way around it, your fingertips only brushing each other as you pumped your hand up and down on his member. 

“Maybe your hands are good for something,” Remus growled, “So tiny but they can still pump cock can’t they?” His harsh words were contrasted by his delicate touch as he brushed hair from your perspiring forehead. Then threading his long, slender fingers through your hair they anchored themselves at the back of your head, using his leverage he tilted your head upwards to make eye contact. “You gonna wrap those pretty lips around my cock Princess? Make me feel good?”

Your answer came as you leaned forward, his hand not even needing to guide you into motion. You peaked just the tip of your tongue out between your teeth to kitten lick the head of his cock, lapping over the slit feeling the grip on the back of your head tighten.

“Don’t tease me Puppy,” He warned lowly.

Taking his threat at face value you licked a broad stripe up the underside of his cock, tracing a distinct vein that thrummed under your oral muscle. Breathing in deeply you sucked the tip of his cock in between your lips, looking up at him you saw his eyes clenched closed as he tried to refrain from bucking his hips up into your mouth. 

Working the entirety of his cock into your mouth you gagged as he hit the back of your throat, seeing that you were only half way down his now completely engorged member you willed your gag reflex to not get in the way of your mission as you forced him further down your throat. Feeling a few tears run down your face you wrapped your hands around the few inches that you couldn’t quite fit, working them up and down the sensitive, exposed skin.

“Such a good puppy,” He praised, “Taking my cock so far down your throat, can see it bulging in your throat. See,” He reached out, tracing his outline down your neck, “Right there, such a good little thing taking me in your mouth.”

As you bobbed your head up and down on his cock, hollowing your cheeks Remus let out a pornographic moan, god you loved when he was vocal. The sounds of his groans and grunts spurred you on, daring you to take him deeper into your mouth until your nose was finally nestled in his happy trail, brushing against his pubic bone, saliva making a mess of your lower face.

“Gonna cum Puppy, gonna cum down your throat, and you’re gonna swallow it all up for me like a good girl.”

He was right, he was about to cum and you could feel his balls starting to tighten, wanting to get him there you moaned around his cock which was still resting deep in your throat, his movements chafing your vocal cords. 

The vibrations of your moan sent Remus over the edge, causing him to buck uncontrollably into your mouth, triggering the gag reflex you’d been able to keep dormant up until then. As he came he let out a string of curses, allowing his head to tip backwards and rest languidly against the back of his chair.

You kept his cock in your mouth, swallowing each strand of cum he shot down your throat until he removed himself from you and letting his dick hang lazily in between his legs as he leaned down, melding his lips with yours.

“Did I make you feel good Sir, did I satisfy you?” 

He let out a dry laugh, nodding his head slowly as he already began to recover from his orgasm. “Yes, puppy, made me feel really good.” To your bewilderment he pressed a kiss to the crown of your head before turning his chair back towards his desk, leaving you, mouth agape, trying to figure out what to say. He wasn’t really going to leave you like this, was he?

You were too confused to notice the subtle smirk pulling at his lips, he knew exactly what he was doing. He really did want to make you feel good, you’d made him feel so amazing just moments earlier and he wanted to reward you for that. But he was going to make you ask, like the good girl he knew you were.

“Yes, bunny?” He lilted, picking up his quill and dipping it into his pot of ink.

“I-I thought you were going to make me feel good Sir?” You asked, rubbing your thighs together, desperate for release.

“Is that how we ask, bunny?”

“No, Sir, I’m sorry. Please make me feel good,” You corrected yourself.

“That’s better,” He murmured approvingly, pushing his chair back out from his desk where he abandoned his quill, smearing ink on a random paper.

With a flick of his wrist you were getting up off your knees, standing submissively before him, you could now feel your slick on the inside of your thighs.

“Over here Poppet, on my thigh.” He helped you straddle his bare thigh, causing you to gasp at the mere sensation of him between your legs.

“You wanna cum? Then you can cum on my thigh while I finish up these papers, then when I’m done, if you’ve been a good girl I’ll fuck your little pussy.”

“O-okay Sir,” You nodded, beginning to thrust yourself against his thigh, the ridges rubbing deliciously against your soaked clit. It practically killed you as he went back to his work, the sound of his quill scratching against parchment nothing compared to the sound of his grunts as he destroyed your cunt. 

Remembering what was promised to you if you were a good girl and got yourself off on his thigh, you got back to work. Dragging your clit up and down his leg, you tortured yourself, not letting you go as fast as you desperately wanted to, knowing you’d get teased for being so needy and desperate. 

Throwing your arms around his neck you picked up your pace and feeling pleasure boil in the pit of your belly you tried to suppress a moan, knowing that good girls wouldn’t distract their Sirs while they tried to do work while at the same time letting their sluts get off. But despite your best efforts a soft moan escaped your red, swollen lips. 

“Keep quiet slut,” Remus scolded, the sound of quill to parchment not even pausing as he spoke to you, “Or you won’t get your reward.”

It was fate that you managed to remain quiet as you more closely approached your orgasm, you were so close the pleasure boiling in your stomach had you twitching as you shamelessly thrusted into Remus’ thigh, giving up on any pretenses of self control. You reached down to rub at your clit, desperate to tip over the edge of pleasure you were currently tip-toeing, but even while multitasking Remus was still the most observant person you’d ever met. Catching your hand before it ever made its way to your clit he squeezed it harshly.

“You know better than to touch what’s mine without asking Princess, come on slut, get yourself off on my thigh. You’re close, don’t even try to deny it.”

There was no correcting him as your climax washed over you at his command, sinking your teeth into his still clothed shoulder to muffle your scream as waves of pleasure crested through you, leaving you a shaking mess as cunt pulsed around nothing, still painfully empty.

You sighed, throwing your head onto Remus’ shoulder as he finally dropped his quill again and rested his hand on your back, rubbing it soothingly until coming to the clasp of your bra, expertly undoing it with one hand while the other anchored itself in your hair, pulling your head back to look you in the eyes.

“Aw, puppy don’t tell me you’re too fucked out already? Haven’t even given you my cock yet.”

“No, no Sir, m’not done, I can take more, I need more, please.” You begged unabashedly. 

That was all Remus needed before hooking his hands underneath your thighs and lifting you up into his arms. Shifting your weight to one arm he used the other to swipe the contents of his desk onto the floor, paying the sound of shattering glass no mind as he dropped you onto the desk. Your clothed bum hitting the unforgiving wood.

“Look at you,” Remus murmured, leaning back to take in your appearance, bare tits on display for him, legs clenched together hiding your closed pussy from his view. Sliding his hands between your closed legs he forced them apart, you putting up no resistance making it an easy feat for the werewolf. 

A simper graced his lips, now being able to take in the view of your clit, partially visible through the soaked material of your white panties. 

“So wet,” He mocked, reaching out a single finger to gently massage your clit, “So wet and I haven’t even touched you. How pathetic.”

Without warning, just as he did with your skirt, he tore your panties off your body, slightly less impressive now that you’d already seen him do it with much more substantial fabric, but still enough to send another gush of wetness to your cunt.

Lifting your bum up from the desk you allowed him to slip the waste of fabric out from beneath you. 

“You want me to fuck your cunt now puppy? You want my cock in you?” He taunted, pumping his hand up and down his cock, appraising your body, smiling as he took in his favorite sight in the world.

“Yes please Sir, need your cock, feel so empty without.”

“Course you do,” Quicker than you could comprehend what was happening Remus had abandoned his cock and instead had flipped you around so that your waist up pressed against the worn wood of the desk. You were forced to support yourself on your forearms as your legs dangled uselessly in the air, toes barely grazing the floor of his office. A chuckle in Remus’ low baritone sounded through the room, “So small your feet can’t even reach the floor, how adorable,” He accentuated his point with a slap to your arse, causing you to jolt forward.

“Sir,” You whined, “Please, I need you.”

“You think this little cunt can take my cock? So small, I might just break it.” He mused, pushing his index finger into you, smiling when your walls clenched around him. 

“No Sir, I promise I can take it. I’ve taken it before.”

“That you have Poppet,” He agreed, positioning himself behind you, you gasped, feeling the head of his cock trace your clit before he pushed the entirety of his length into your quivering hole, watching as you greedily sucked in all 9 inches of him.

“Fuck!” You swore, Remus’ rule slipping your mind as you lost yourself in pleasure.

“Don’t be a naughty whore (Y/N),” He warned, “Told you not to swear, didn’t I?” He questioned as he began to thrust into you unforgivingly, gripping your hips to stabilize you on the desk as without it you were uselessly sliding against the desk.

“I’m sorry!” You screamed as pleasure began to overwhelm you, with so little break between your last orgasm and the current ministrations on your pussy you were a whimpering mess.

“You should be,” He growled, leaning over you, bracing himself on his forearms to whisper in your year, “M’so good to you, least you could do is follow my rules. They’re not that strict.”

“They’re not!” You agreed as the new position allowed him to hit a new place inside you, intensifying your pleasure tenfold, if that was even possible at this point.

Gripping your hips and lifting them up slightly Remus increased his bruising pace, the combined sensations of his cock inside of you, his balls slapping against your clit, and you upper body rubbing against the desk had your eyes rolling back in your head as the pleasure began to overwhelm you.

At this point you were being fucked so thoroughly and ruthlessly that your feet weren’t even grazing the floor anymore, instead they were limp, hitting against the front of Remus’ desk as he supported your weight in his hands.

Remus was able to stretch you out like no one ever had before, to the point where pleasure bordered pain and the line between the two blurred to the point where you weren’t even sure if you knew what day of the week it was.

“What a little slut, if anyone came in right now they’d see you getting fucked by your professor,” You moaned at Remus’ filthy words which went directly to your cunt. “You’d like that though, my little exhibitionist.” Another smack to your bum was delivered as Remus lifted your lips even further into the air to reach new depths inside you. “Always so hungry for my cock aren’t you? Can’t go a single day without me filling this cunt of yours, can you?”

Your response was swallowed by a moan as Remus sped up his thrusts as his cock started to twitch inside you, causing you to clench your pussy around him.

“I’m close Sir, may I cum?” You pleaded, your voice shaking with the effort it was taking you to keep your orgasm at bay. 

“No,” He commanded through gritted teeth, “You’re not gonna cum until I say you can.”

“Ye-es, Sir.”

Remus growled as his thrusts stuttered, cumming inside you, rope after rope of thick cum painting your walls in his release. He stayed there inside you, leaning over you, your back pressed to his chest until he caught his breath. 

Pulling out of you he smiled, watching his cum drip from your cunt, “So pretty,” he murmured pushing a finger inside you and with it his release. 

“S-Sir?” You stuttered, not daring to move from your position until he said you could.

“Yes Puppy?”

“I didn’t cum.”

“You think I didn’t notice that? I’m not daft,” He shoved two fingers inside you, pumping them in and out viciously before completely pulling them out of your hole causing a pathetic whimper to escape your lips at the empty feeling that settled in the pit of your stomach where your pleasure still simmered.

“Feel so empty without something in there don’t you?”

“Yes, Sir.” 

“Get yourself up to my bedroom and when I get up there after I finish these last few papers I’ll make you cum over and over again Puppy.” With a light swat to your bum he zipped himself back into his pants but you were too desperate to move. “Now, before I change my mind.”

That got you up off his desk, darting up the stairs to his room where you laid dutifully on his bed, waiting for his arrival.

tagging: @randomoutsiders @weasleyposts

[pxnk-velvet]

Heyoo.... So Kakashi x Dom reader, they're already in a relationship, she think of something new to do tonight, she just makes him lay down and takes the reigns, but instead of being rough or kinky she surprises him by being very very soft, a lot of care and body worshipping and loving words and actions, she doesn't let him do anything, he just has to lay down, relax and let her baby him and worship him

𝐻𝑎𝑝𝑝𝑦 𝐵𝑖𝑟𝑡ℎ𝑑𝑎𝑦 [NSFW!]

.・ ✧。.・゜✧・.・✧・゜・.・ ✧。.・゜✧・.・✧・゜

𝐾𝑎𝑘𝑎𝑠ℎ𝑖 𝐻𝑎𝑡𝑎𝑘𝑒 𝑥 𝐹𝑒𝑚!𝑅𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑒𝑟

✧ word count :: 1.7k

✧ summary :: Despite her usual approach to things in bed with Kakashi, Y/n was going to make sure Kakashi felt loved on his birthday one way or another.

✧ warnings :: nsfw!, fluff, established relationship, implied dom reader, oral (m!receiving), body worship, praise, intended for mature readers only! reblogs are appreciated <3

✧ a/n :: this is the first time I’ve written anything spicy in forever and I’m only doing this bc it was our husbands birthday a few weeks ago soooo and ik this is like super late but idc I’m just happy I was finally able to finish a piece ok? Let me live 🖐🏼😤

.・ ✧。.・゜✧・.・✧・゜・.・ ✧。.・゜✧・.・✧・゜

He’s so pretty…

That was the only thing on Y/n’s mind as she stood with Kakashi in her arms. The two of them were standing in front of the mirror that was near the foot of their bed. Simply soaking in each other’s presence and enjoying the company. 

She peered at him from over his shoulder, her chin perched on his shoulder as she admired the godly man in her grasp. 

Her eyes tracing every single curve and dip present on his body. Warmly gazing over every scar, scratch, or imperfection that was embedded onto him. Her hands glazed over his sides and core as they settled near his abdomen. Fingertips pressing into the soft skin that shielded strong muscle underneath. Her lips were gentle against his shoulder blades as she littered kisses across his back.

It was moments of appreciation like this that made Y/n truly wonder how she had managed to find a man like Kakashi. Of course he came with his faults, but everyone does. And she never let that get in the way of her love for. 

“Happy birthday.” She hummed sweetly against his skin, a smile occupying her eyes as for her lips were busy pressed against his skin.

Kakashi returned one, butterflies erupting in Y/n’s stomach when she saw it. 

That. His smile was one of the prettiest things she’d ever encountered in all her years. She did everything in her power to keep it gentle and bright. Even if he wore his mask nearly all day, she can only hope it never dims underneath.

All day her chest had been blossoming with love, seeing Kakashi smile so much today. Receiving gifts from friends and comrades. Yet she knew it wasn't just the gifts themselves but the acknowledgment and appreciation these people had for him. She believed he deserved it all with every fiber of her being. And yet she had no idea how to show him just that. That was until they had made it home.

Now clad in simple house clothes, they had spent the rest of the day enjoying each other. Y/n had cooked Kakashi his favorite meal for dinner and surprised him with a little homemade cake. Emphasizing the little, simply because she knew he wasn’t one for sweets, so it was really just a simple serving for herself that Kakashi insisted he feed to her himself. Only to smear frosting across her face and pull her in for a kiss, claiming that she had a little frosting on her lips. 

Her kisses still tasted sweet with the frosting as Kakashi turned to face her, his back to the mirror. Now pulling her into his arms and draping them around Y/n’s waist, resting his hands against her lower back.

With sparkling eyes, ones Kakashi could get lost in forever, Y/n looked up at him, musing, “I love you,” placing a quick kiss to his lips. Not giving him a chance to respond before she kisses him again, singing another “I love you,” then repeating the process over and over again. Littering kisses all over his face, jaw, and neck. 

Y/n was quick to maneuver Kakashi so he was laying on the edge of the bed, her hips settled suggestively over his. An obviously give away as to what she had instore for the birthday boy.

Y/n’s kisses never seized fire, every single one was light yet held so much passion. Creating a constellation of love across his skin. Sending electricity to both his heart and the deep pit in his stomach. 

The only time her kissing stopped was when she sat up straight, placing her palms against his chest. Fingertips gentle gliding against the light dusting of gray hair. Her lips stretched with a sweet smile, eyes warm as she spoke, “Did you know that I love you?” Her voice was smooth like honey, as it invaded Kakashi’s senses. 

His body felt like it was floating. His cheeks were covered in a warm flush that grew even hotter whenever she moved above him. Even just the slightest drag of her pelvis seemed to cause his senses to go haywire. The way her gaze soaked up every single minuscule reaction wasn’t helping either. 

The intimate moments they shared together were often like this. Kakashi allowing Y/n to do as she pleases for her own pleasure, which only fueled his own. 

Kakashi swallowed the dryness in his throat, replying to her question with a slight giggle, “Yes, Y/n. You’ve mentioned that already.”

Her smile grew even more, glowing like a light above, “I know but I just want to make sure. I love you. Everything about you,” She sang sweetly, placing a kiss at the base of his throat.

“Your perfections,” a kiss now placed to his collarbone, Y/n nipping the skin. Making Kakashi jump slightly, to which she giggled while continuing her ministrations down his front. 

“Your imperfections, your eyes, your hair, your body…” She dragged, bringing her tongue to slowly trace previous kisses up to his navel and back down, “Your muscles,” Again, Kakashi’s skin jumped when her hands crawled up his abdomen, relishing in the way the muscles went taunt under her touch. 

“But most of all,” She slowly sat up, Kakashi groaning at the loss of the warmth of her lips against his skin, “Your mind,” Y/n’s hands came down to toy with the hem of his pants. Her fingers teasing the edges, slipping beneath, only to retract when his breath grew heavy. 

“Your heart,” Y/n whispered only loud enough for the two of them to hear. Regardless of the fact if they were the only ones in the room. She wanted those words to only fall upon his ears. He was the most deserving after all. 

One of her hands came to cup the tent that had stood mighty before her, squeezing gently, feeling the way his blood pulsed violently through his veins. 

The way he gripped the sheets beneath his fists as a groan fell from behind his grit teeth, caused the fire in the pit of Y/n’s stomach to ignite, sending electricity through her body. 

“Kakashi,” She called, the only thing present on her face was love and sincerity, “I love you with every fiber of my being,” Her hands came to grip the fabric of his pants, “and I’m going to make sure you know that tonight.”

His pants were gone soon after, Y/n getting off only to undress Kakashi and herself, only to resume the same position. Only now there was no restriction between them, now purely skin to skin. Each drunk off of each other and the effects shared between them. 

Kakashi could’ve sworn he was in paradise. The image before him was one he had seen time and time again but always took his breath away. Watching Y/n lean down, taking his cock into her hand, looking up at him with big eyes. He sighed loudly, throwing his head back against the bed, hands gripping the bed sheets underneath. 

“Fuck...Y/n,” A wave of hot electricity washed over Kakashi as Y/n took him into her mouth. Her tongue working the underside of his length, her right hand still gripping whatever she couldn’t fit in her mouth. 

Kakashi’s hips jerked every time his head would brush against the back of her throat. Which in turn caused the heat between her legs to grow hotter and heavier. Once she had been able to work her mouth all the way down the length of his cock, her nose pressed gently against his pelvis. Brushing against the dusting of dark gray hair at the base of his length.

His hand found refuge at the crown of her head, “Just like that...yes,” He groaned deeply, Kakashi could’ve sworn he was seeing stars at this point. 

One of the things about Y/n that never failed to amaze him was the way she knew how to work his body. In ways that he wasn’t aware of until she became a part of his sexual life. 

Y/n continued on, pulling back to catch her breath real quick before diving back in. Her lips warm and wet against his shaft, tongue occasionally toying with the head of his cock. All the while she had snuck her own hand between her legs, in hopes of relieving the tension that had grown in her core. The moans that rumbled in her throat, her own fingers slowly circling sensitive bud, caused vibrations to ring throughout Kakashi’s body as his jaw hung slack. Pretty noises rolling off of his tongue like butter. 

Soon enough, he was chanting to the heavens above, “I’m coming, Y/n, I’m so close.” Singing her name like a mantra before spilling his load on her tongue. To which she prettily displayed before him, swallowing all that she could. 

A few moments later, giving some time to relax, Y/n had climbed onto his lap. Straddling his hips, which wasn’t the best help for his sensitive state at the moment. Regardless, she situated her frame over his, all the while running her thumb across her lips. Cleaning up whatever she had missed, “Open.” She whispered, placing her opposite hand on his chest and bringing her cum covered thumb to his lips. 

She smiles warmly, rocking her hips against his when he parted his lips and stuck out his tongue. 

“Good.” Her voice was smooth as she dragged her thumb across Kakashi’s tongue, watching intently as his lips closed around her digit and proceeded to clean it of his own seed. 

“You’re so pretty, Kakashi,” She sang happily, retracting her finger and pulling his bottom lip along with it. 

Kakashi’s chest inflated with a huge sigh, Y/n coming to lay against it as he wiped the sweat across his brow, “You get me every time, don’t you?” He chuckled deeply, peering down at her.

“Of course,” She hummed, sitting up again, “But we aren’t done yet.”

She lifted her weight, shifting so she could position her slick opening right at the tip of his hard again cock, “That was only the first part of your gift, birthday boy.” She giggled. All before settling down onto his length. Nestling her hips securely against his, throwing her head back at the addictive sensation. She soon began working herself up and down his shaft, not before muttering breathily, “Happy Birthday, Kakashi.” with a lust drunk smile etched across her lips. 

.・ ✧。.・゜✧・.・✧・゜・.・ ✧。.・゜✧・.・✧・゜

[saphirered]

We've all seen fics where Caleb's SO dies and gets resurrected, and we seen Caleb accidentally hurting his SO, but what about Caleb accidentially killing his SO? Maybe Reader got burned by one of his fire attacks? The revival's successful, but damn, the angst.

Angst was requested and angst you shall receive. I hope this is to your liking. 😘

Trigger warning for death and grief themes.

Caleb sits on his knees, head bowed, whispering pleas in Zemnian to the gods, the world, to you, your cold hand encased between his own, occasionally pressing a kiss to it in the hopes you’d just wake up. But you’re not going to wake up. Not in the way you would in the morning when you’ve had a particularly late night and Caleb has to drag you out of bed, you being stubborn or pretending to still be asleep so you maybe could convince him to join you for a little more. Not in the way after you got knocked out in a fight, when you sit up and rub your eyes with a grunt like usual. Nothing within his capabilities will wake you up.

So here Caleb sits, begging for it to be a nightmare, some sick and twisted tricks played on his mind but there’s no denying this is real and this is the truth. You’re dead. You’re dead and it’s his fault. You ended up as collateral damage in his reckless attempt to kill the creature. You got stuck in the crossfire of that. He hadn’t realised you were doing so bad already, you even sent him a wink right before when he asked if you were okay. Why did you? Why didn’t you just tell him you weren’t? Why did you lie? Not lie, omitted the truth.

He knew exactly why you did it but that doesn’t make it any easier. You’d known the other’s weren’t doing great and barely holding on already. You were severely outmatched and couldn’t get away from the creature. Not without it chasing after you and running you in an even more perilous situation. Anything Caleb could do would affect anyone close to the creature. With Yasha having dragged Beau out of the fray you were the only one left to hold it at bay while the clerics worked on patching them up, Fjord and Veth offering them cover. You were the final line of defence. At the end of the day you had to keep the clerics alive.

Caleb took a calculated risk. A fireball to send the creature dropping into the ruined depths of Aeor. He had tried to keep you out of the range but wouldn’t have been able to strike the creature without putting you at risk. The spell worked and the creature got hit with full force. It was your attack right before the fireball struck that had send it stumbling, then with the blast, it lost its footing and stumbled off the edge.

But you too, dropped. and when you did, the creature’s tail lashed out, grabbing onto your body, dragging you with it. The creature had hit the platform below in its fall and the impact had made it release you, saving you from the full drop. Caleb had rushed to the edge, fear, pain, anger and guilt riddling his mind thinking he had truly lost you but there you were, bloodied, bruised, broken and burned. Because of him. All because of him. How could he have been so stupid and reckless. When he brought your body back to the others, he wasn’t quick enough. You’d already faded into the cold embrace of the Raven Queen and the clerics had expended their last resources.

So that leaves Caleb here, sitting at your side a day after you died, body preserved by the graces of Caduceus and the Wildmother. The clerics set up their ritual, working around him and you as the others help where they can. Beau and Veth had tried to console him, tell him it wasn’t his fault and if he hadn’t they might all have been dead right now. He appreciates his friends trying but it’s of no use. He already made up his mind and it’s not going to change anything. You died because of him. He murdered you and how is that any different than his actions in the past? How does that make him any different than the lives he’s taken in the clutches of his former mentor? Is there truly no redemption for him? You’d slap him for even thinking that way.

“Mr. Caleb? Why don’t you try talking to them? Persuasion has worked in the past to coax someone back.” Caduceus places a hand on the wizard’s shoulder but it barely registers. Yet the firbolg knows they did not fall upon deaf ears when the whispers stop for just a moment.

“I-. I do not think they’d want to hear from their murderer.” Speaking the words make them so much more painful. By the looks of it, Beau is ready to unleash in a degrading rant about how wrong Caleb is, breaking him apart only build him back up but she’s held at bay by Yasha. This is not the time and place. Caduceus doesn’t claim to know what Caleb’s going through, nor may he be the brightest mind here but he understands and can empathise.

“I know no matter what I say it won’t change your feelings so instead I will offer you this. You owe it to them to try. Not for what happened here but for the countless times they’ve been there for you, have had your back, and for the unconditional love they’ve given you. You owe them to try.” The wizard looks up over his shoulder to the firbolg, pain in his eyes, and the trails of silent tears that have long since run out. Caduceus is right. He owes it to you to save you and right now it is within his power to try. If he doesn’t, if he fails he’ll have condemned you to this fate. If he succeeds with this part, he’ll be able to look into your eyes again. You may never forgive him but he hopes to see you smile, hear your voice even if just once more.

Caleb nods looking back at you, bringing your limp fingers up to his lips and pressing them against your knuckles. He takes in a deep breath and tries to find the right words as Caduceus steps back. What are the right words? He cannot afford to fuck this up. He cannot afford to fail. He must succeed. He must.

“I know I might be the last person you want to hear right now. I want you to know I’m sorry-“ Caleb’s voice cracks as he feels the eyes of the others on him. He brushes some of your hair away from your forehead, running his thumb across your cheek.

“I don’t-uh. I don’t know what to say. I don’t know if I can do this. You’re always here for me during difficult times. You’d put your hand on my cheek and tell me ‘If anyone can do it it’s you, Caleb Widogast. You could move mountains if you set your will to it. Now stop being stubborn before I slap some sense in you.’ but now you’re not here to tell me that. You’ve shown me there’s a world beyond the walls I put up, that there is a light at the end of that tunnel, but now I cannot help but feel the world has grown dull, the walls are caving in, and that light is fading.”

“I have no right, no right to ask you this, but I need you to save my world one more time. So please, I beg of you. Do not leave me to brave this world without you.” The weight of his heart heavy on his conscious. Caleb feels a pressure causing a ringing in his ears. He’s so focussed on you, he cannot take his eyes off you. Not even when the others do their part in the ritual. He realises this pressure is coming from the effects of the spell to bring you back. He holds his breath, not daring to take in oxygen if only to savour the moment, hoping it will not pass, that for just a little longer he can hold on to the hope you’re coming back instead of having that hope crushed by a potential failure.

The pressure fades but nothing happens. Nothing changes. It’s silent as everyone waits for something, anything to happen. That moment alone feels like an eternity of suspense. Caleb finds himself whispering prayers and pleas in Zemnian again, your hand clasped between his own as he squeezes his eyes shut tightly to live through the memories of you, preserve them for the rest of his life just in case because he refuses to forget even a single one of them. He’s so consumed in his own mind he doesn’t notice warmth returning to your fingers. He doesn’t notice your chest beginning to rise and fall. Caleb’s pleas continue.

“Would you mind translating that? I think my brain got a bit scrambled.” Caleb freezes and his eyes open. Your eyes are closed but your brow is furrowed. Furrowed in discomfort. Not sleeping and not void of your usual expressions. Colour has returned to your limbs and face and no longer dulled. Caleb falls silent in disbelief, frozen in place and mind blank.

“Caleb?” You speak his name, peaking through one eye to see the wizard in his disheveled state. You sit up, grunting in pain. Apparently being brought back from the dead isn’t kind on your physical form, not even mentioning the exhaustion weighing on your mind. You could sleep for a couple of hours… or days… or weeks… You could do with a break really. All of you could. You nudge Caleb’s head up by his chin allowing your fingers to slide onto his cheek.

“Blink twice if you need me to get Beauregard to slap you back into reality.” You muster a smile as you brush your thumb over his cheekbone. Caleb doesn’t understand how you’re not recoiling in disgust or lashing back in anger. He doesn’t understand how you can look at him with love and kindness.

“I’m so sorry. Please-“ Caleb goes off in a spur of apologies, begging for your forgiveness.

“Caleb, I love you but you really need to stop. This is a problem for another day.”

“You died. I killed you. How can you even look at me like you do?”

“So what? I died. I’m here now. I got better. Now preferably I’d like to not die again, some things are beyond our control. And if you need some kind of reassurance; Veth killed Cad that one time and he doesn’t hate her.” Veth yells a ‘hey’ in defence while you earn a chuckle from the firbolg. You know Caleb isn’t just going to take your word for it and you’re also not going to make anyone buy you’re totally okay with just dying and being brought back to life because you’re not but you also know that you can’t blame Caleb for being a factor in what happened when you yourself were aware of the risks of the situation you were in. You made your own bet and it didn’t pay off but all your friends are still alive and well, Caleb’s still alive and well and that alone makes it worth the risk you took.

“You have no idea how much I love you.” Caleb breathes as he pulls you into his arms with a gentleness as if you’re made of porcelain, or will fade out of existence if he holds on too tightly.

“I think I have a pretty good estimate but we can compare notes later if you’d prefer.” You pull back enough to look at Caleb’s face, brush aside some of the red strands and softly place your lips on his. It’s not a heated kiss but one filled with emotion and a desperation no less. Neither of you thought you’d get to be in each other’s arms again but here you are despite everything. Maybe your work here isn’t done yet. You still got some asses to kick.

[irrelevantwriter]

Problem With You

Pairing: Rio (Good Girls) x Female Reader/You

Rating: Explicit, NSFW

Warnings: Language, unprotected vaginal sex, mention of bodily fluids, banter as foreplay, mental warfare, Rio being jealous...and admitting it (toxicity at its finest)

Word Count: 3.3K

Summary: Part 2. You decide you aren't going to let Rio affect you. Good luck with that. 

A/N: You guys do not even understand how much I appreciate the love and support I’ve gotten for my Rio fic! Really, truly. Ya’ll know how to make a girl feel special and because of that, I wrote like a madwoman. Seriously. @likedovesinthewnd​ can attest to that fact lol. So here we have a part two for House Call. If you haven’t read that, I highly recommend you do. Only because I added some plot this time around. Ya girl is riding this Rio wave as far as it’ll take me, so strap in because a bitch is plottin’. I hope you guys like it. Feedback is that good shit. 💗

*Read Part 3 here

*Give and Take series masterlist

*Masterlist in bio.

***********************

You laughed to hide the expression of boredom you wore as you walked up the driveway to your house. Luke, your date, hovered behind you, an obvious look of hope in his green eyes.

It wasn’t happening.

“I had a really great time tonight.” He said with a sheepish smile, his boyish grin doing nothing for you.

“It was fun.” You lied, taking a step back to make your getaway.

Luke matched your movement as he started to lean in close, his intention clear. And unwanted.

“Hey, mama…”

The voice made you jump, forcing your date to move back and out of your space. You turned to your right to see Rio leaning against your parked car, legs crossed at the ankle and hands stuffed deep into the pockets of a black jacket. He was ominous looking. Mysterious, with that hint of danger that seemed to follow him everywhere. His dark eyes were trained solely on you, ignoring the other man just feet away.

“You know this guy?” Luke asked with an amateur bravado that made you want to cringe.

The men couldn’t have been more different. You knew of Luke from little league soccer. He was the father to one of the boy’s on your son’s team. He’d been divorced for a few years and had made his interest in you known once you and Paul had split. And after your rendezvous with Rio nearly two months ago, you were itching for something...anything that made you feel half as alive as you had that day.

It was not going well.

“Family friend.” You replied, gaze still captivated by the man in black.

Rio chuckled at your answer, but didn’t say anything to refute it.

“Are you-,” Luke started, addressing you with a concerned lilt to his voice.

“I’ll talk to you later. I’ve got some stuff to deal with.” You cut him off, leaving no room for argument.

Thankfully, he took the hint and nodded, pulling his car keys from his pocket. “I’ll call you.”

“Okay.” You said simply, desperately wanting him to leave you and Rio alone. The situation was beyond awkward for you. It was uncomfortable to have Rio present to view something so personal. And you could tell he was sizing Luke up, the smirk on his face saying exactly what he thought about your date for the evening.

Luke gave you and Rio one last wary glance before he was walking down your drive and to his parked car. You waited until he’d driven away before you faced Rio full on, eyebrow quirked up in annoyance.

“What’re you doing here?”

He didn’t answer you.

Instead, he straightened and began to walk in your direction, eyes appraising you and your dress. You stiffened your spine, unwilling to let him see you so flustered. That game was getting old. He would pounce on your nervousness, manipulate it to his advantage. You weren’t going to let that happen again.

In the weeks since you and Rio had slept together, he’d made his attraction for you obvious. The drop-offs were now moments for him to flirt, attempting to keep you in an anxiety-riddled state for his enjoyment. He liked to see you affected by his presence. You didn’t.

You’d regretted sleeping with him the moment it happened. You didn’t want to be involved in that aspect of his life when you were so entrenched in his business operations. It wasn’t a good look. And chances were, Rio wasn’t the type to take on a divorced mother of two from the suburbs. He led a very different life from yours. He was looking for someone to fill his needs in the moment. Nothing more, nothing less. But that’s not what you wanted. Least that’s what you told yourself.

At this point it was more about self preservation than anything else. And with Rio, your need to protect yourself was on high alert at all times. Be it your life or your dignity.

“Who was the guy?” He finally asked, his strides bringing him close enough for you to smell his cologne.

“Friend.”

“PTA or little league?” He taunted with a knowing smile.

You hated that you were that predictable. That he could read you so easily.

“Does it matter?” You snidely retorted, tightening your grasp around the black clutch gripped in your right hand.

“Nah, it doesn’t.” He replied smoothly, licking his lips...lips that you’d tasted...lips that you wanted to taste again. “We gotta talk.” He continued, face growing serious.

The shift in mood made dread knot your stomach. You swallowed thickly, eyes darting to the darkened houses and empty streets in your neighborhood.

“Inside.” You gestured behind you and turned away, leading him to your front door. You walked the steps up to your porch, not hearing him follow at first. You knew what the reason was. You’d worn a fairly modest black dress on your date with Luke. The garment hugged your figure with a high neck and long sleeves, the length stopping at your knees. The eye-catching feature of the dress was the back...or lack of. It was backless and it’d apparently gotten the attention of more than just your date tonight.

You struggled with your keys in the lock, feeling his gaze burn hot across your naked back. You shivered and sucked in a breath when you felt a delicate brush of a finger dance along your spine, his body heat now crowding you. His breath was warm against your neck, the suddenness of his actions making your head spin.

“S’cold out here. You’re shaking.” He rasped into your ear, finger still trailing in a sensual pattern against your flesh.

“It’s not the cold.” You said flatly, finally pushing open the door. You left him on the porch as you walked into the dimly lit house, setting your purse and keys on the bench in the foyer. You went straight to the kitchen, flicking on a light. The soft clicking of the door let you know he’d made his way inside after you.

You pulled two glass tumblers from the cabinet and then grabbed a bottle of whiskey that Paul had left behind. You poured the amber liquid into each glass, your mouth already preparing for the intense burn that would come with swallowing it down. You were in need of the liquid courage though.

“How’d you know my kids wouldn’t be here? You have my custody agreement memorized or something?” You asked as you sipped at the liquor, sliding the other glass towards Rio from across the kitchen island. The exact island he’d fucked you on weeks before.

You didn’t bother trying to hide your aggravation towards him. Ever since that day in your kitchen, he’d been difficult to ignore. He was a constant in your thoughts. Your dreams had only gotten more explicit, more intimate. It was irritating. You hadn’t felt right since. And it was all his fault.

“Something like that.” He said, eyeing the glass on the counter. He studied you for a long moment, as he was prone to do. He watched you gulp down the entirety of its contents, his mouth turned up in mirth.

“What’d you need to talk to me about?” You questioned, trying not to wince at the bitter taste that now sat on your tongue. The whiskey was already heating up your insides, coating them in a fine layer of confidence and nonchalance.

“How’d your date go?” He threw back, dodging your question as he finally picked up the glass and swirled its contents.

“Why?”

“I wanna know.”

He tossed the drink back in one go, his inked Adam’s apple bobbing with the motion. It was a surprisingly erotic sight.

“You really wanna know about my date?” You asked incredulously, eyebrow once again raised at him in question.

“I don’t ask questions I don’t wanna know the answer to, darling. You know that.” He retorted with a testiness that made you momentarily retreat.

“It was fine.” You supplied with a shrug of your shoulders, unsure of what he was looking for. The date had actually been a disaster, but you weren’t going to divulge that to him.

He laughed. A real laugh with his head thrown back and chest vibrating.

It pissed you off.

“What the hell is your problem?” You gritted out between clenched teeth, the alcohol now rushing through your veins and fueling your rising anger.

Rio went silent. He straightened to his full height and edged past the island to stand in front of you. His face gave away nothing. No smirk. No narrowed eyes. No false sense of security with a charming smile. Nothing.

“Who says I got a problem?” He finally said, leaning into your face and making you lock eyes with his own.

Your gut reaction told you to look away, but you fought against it. Instead choosing to meet his intensity head on.

“You seem awfully interested in my personal life. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were jealous.” You taunted, fully expecting another round of laughter from him.

You should’ve known by now that Rio never did anything you expected. That’s what made him Rio.

“And if I was?” He challenged, not backing down from your accusations. He shifted closer, forcing you to lean back. “If I said I’d kill him for touching what’s mine. What would you do? Hmm?” He continued, eyes roaming your body as he spoke. His voice grew thicker, the desire now suddenly apparent and washing over you like molasses.

“You wouldn’t.” You whispered, feeling the ghost of his hands along your hips. The barely there touch made your body come alive with familiarity, the memory settling right between your thighs.

“I don’t make threats I don’t plan on acting on, baby. You know that.” He teased, throwing his own words back at you.

“I’m not yours.” You shook your head, tightening your hands into fists to keep them at your sides.

He laughed, though the sound held no real humor. “Yeah, you are.” He said with a nod, hand reaching around to drag along your back, making your eyes fall shut.

His touch felt so good. Intoxicating. Like your body knew who it’d been waiting for this entire time. You’d been a fool to think you could replace the feeling.

“What do you want?” You asked, exhaustion lacing your words. You felt like you asked him that same question every moment you were together. You knew the answer this time though. You were just hoping you were wrong.

“You.” He whispered, finger now caressing your cheek and pushing waywards strands of hair off your face.

You’d been expecting the response, but it still jolted you. Still made you fraught with worry and unease. You lashed out, pushing his hand away and putting distance between your bodies.

“You want me to quit my job. Leave my kids. To do what with you? Run away to wash money and run drugs?”

“Yeah.”

You studied his face for several silent seconds, searching for any traces of humor. There were none. He was serious. Unflinchingly honest in his desire to have you.  

“Well, that’s not gonna happen. So you should probably go.”

You brushed off his words and moved past him and towards the entryway, ready to see him out. You didn’t get far. You made it to the other side of the island before a hand reached out for you and slammed you back against a firm chest. You gasped, unable to pull away as another hand attached to your other arm. They held you by your elbows, forcing your backside to press dangerously close to his front.

He’d moved quickly and without warning, nearly knocking you off your heels. You were both breathing heavy, both from the movement and the lust that threatened to spill over and bleed out all across your hardwood floors.

“You’re stubborn as shit.” Rio breathed into your ear, his grip tightening around your arms and forcing you to still.

“I’m smart.” You retorted, feeling yourself start to loosen in his hold. His chest was pressed tightly to your bare back, his crotch nestled almost perfectly against your ass. Your lower body shifted under the guise of pulling away, but you felt it. And so did he.

“Yeah, that too.” He whispered.

His face buried itself into your neck, lips covering the area with kisses. You arched into his touch, getting lost in the familiar sensations. His hands dropped from your arms and reached for the hem of your dress, pulling the fabric up your thighs.

It was happening again. The vortex that swallowed you up last time was back and it was making time simultaneously speed up and slow down. The outside world felt like it was at a stand still while you and Rio reintroduced your bodies to each other. The soft touches and gentle caresses morphed into hungry grasps and passionate clutches. His mouth worked over your neck and sucked, knowing exactly what that action did to you. You reached around and ran your nails over his scalp, feeling him shiver in response.

Your feet shuffled as he led you to your couch, pressing you into the back of it. You pushed your ass out and into him, feeling the length of him beyond your clothes. His hands tightened around your hips and then traveled under your dress. You gripped the cushions as he tore your panties away, the savagery of it making your thighs slide obnoxiously together. You moaned when his rough hands kneaded your ass, spreading the flesh to see what was waiting for him.

Through the fog your heard a distinct growl that reviberated from his chest and went straight to your throbbing sex, your walls desperately clenching around nothing. You bit your lip when you felt the head of him at your entrance, the heat from his flesh so overwhelming that your knees nearly buckled.

“Spread your legs, mama. Let me in.” He instructed, hand latching onto one of your shoulders for leverage.

You obeyed his command. You obeyed because that’s what you always did. You always ended up doing as he said. And that’s what scared you. Not the illegal shit or the risk of throwing your whole life away. It scared you with how complacent you could be to him. And you knew that eventually you’d give him the life he wanted from you.

A strangled moan fell from your lips as he began to push forward. He felt larger this way. Felt as if he could reach all the way into your chest if he wanted to. You pushed back for more when he teased you, sliding back out and refastening his hold on you.

In the next moment he was fully embedded inside of you, pulsing with such a need that you could do nothing but tighten around him. He appreciated the sentiment. You cried out in what sounded like agony, but was in fact an unbearable amount of pleasure that felt nearly spiritual.

His hips slammed into yours with wild abandon. You steadied yourself along the couch, feeling the piece of furniture slide across the floor with every thrust. In this position he had full access to you, and he utilized it. He roamed your body freely and without permission, making you beg for more. You couldn’t see him. And that was just fine because you could feel him. You could feel every hard line and groove. Every brush of his fingertips and bruising kiss. You could feel it all.

“Fuck...I-,” You gasped as you circled your clit, feeling him hit so deep that you were forced onto your tiptoes in your heels. “I’m gonna cum.”

Your confession earned harder, slower strokes. They made you see stars. And within seconds your entire body was spasming with waves of pleasure akin to electrical shocks. The force of it was almost painful. Sounds that you didn’t recognize flew past your lips as you trapped him inside of you and rode out the blissful high.

His hand moved from your shoulder to the back of your head, readying himself for his own release. You went limp after such a powerful climax and he took that as his cue to continue. His pace was forceful, low grunts permeating the air as he fucked into you. His fingers dug into your thighs in that way that made you feel owned. You clenched your inner muscles around him, coaxing him further into euphoria’s waiting arms.

“Shit,” He hissed, his hips beginning to stutter as he finally came.

You accepted every thick drop that now coated your walls. You couldn’t describe the feeling of fullness you felt with his cum settling into your womb and his twitching length still nestled tightly against your walls. But for as wrong as everything else felt with Rio, this...this felt right.

His low chuckle broke the silence as he retreated from your body slowly. You missed the sensation almost immediately.

You stood on shaky legs and pulled your dress down, seeing the shredded lace that had been your panties in a pile near your feet. You kicked off your heels, a relieved sigh leaving your lips at the action.

“I’m gonna be gone for a bit.” Rio announced suddenly, reaching up to lazily scratch at the facial hair that lined his jaw. He’d redressed, now looking like a poised professional and not someone who’d just cum inside you.

Mild panic seized your chest, but you schooled your features, attempting to play it cool.

“Gotta get back to your other life?” You retorted, choosing to be a smart ass rather than show any real concern for the man who’d just fucked you in another area in your home. Another space where your family gathered desecrated by your sins.

“Nah, this is it for me, darling.” He said with a shake of his head and lick of his lips. “Just gotta handle some things.”

“That’s not vague at all.”

He stepped to you, once again pressing you into the couch. Only this time you were facing him, breathing in the same whiskey-tinted air as he invaded your space.

“You know what your problem is?” He rasped, voice rough enough to send a tingle down your spine.

“You.” You jabbed. The liquor was working. Your lips were loosened and your attitude was running the show. You’d be lucky if Rio decided to ignore your childish behavior.

He angled your chin up to him, leaning in as if he was going to kiss you. He hadn’t yet that evening. And you found yourself yearning for it. His fingers slid over your lips and trailed down your neck, gently grasping your throat. He didn’t apply pressure, but the innuendo was there. It thrilled you in a way you hadn’t been expecting.

“You worry too much.” He said, eyeing your lips the entire time.

You licked them in response, having nothing to say for once. He wasn't wrong.

“Everything stays the same. Mick will be at the drop-offs. He’ll stay close if you need anything.” He explained, his hand floating down your collarbone and over your breast to settle on your waist.

“And you?” You dared to ask, hoping he wouldn’t see your question as anything more than a professional query.

“Like I said, I got some things to handle. I’ll be in touch.” He deflected. “And don’t miss me too much, yeah?” He said with a charming smile, choosing to grip your hip and squeeze.

You scoffed at his words, crossing your arms and watching him leave without another word. You tried not to let the new information he’d shared bother you. He didn’t say how long he’d be away, but you had a feeling it was going to be for more than a few days.

The notion made you uneasy.

While Rio’s presence unnerved you, his looming absence made a lump form in your throat. You didn’t have the energy to analyze what that meant. It was going to be back to business. And in a way you were grateful for the reset. He’d come back and things would go back to an employee-boss relationship. Back to normal.

Right?

[rafescoke]

Crime ; Part 3

masterlist

Part #3

Read the previous parts here:

Part #1, Part #2

Pairing: Rafe Cameron x reader

Summary: Maybe life just doesn’t go your way sometimes. 

Warnings: heavy writings on death! angst, just two people being in love but one of them is scared

A/N: ideas are inspired by @pogueslandia literally the sweetest <3

Maybe Rafe was overthinking it. 

He ran his fingers through her hair, his arms all wrapped up around her. The golden sunlight hit them squarely on the face, and the weather never looked so inviting. 

“Stop thinking,” he whispered, pulling her close. He placed a soft kiss on the crown of her head. 

She hummed, letting him caress her. The guilt was eating her away, and she hasn't felt good for a week now. 

5 more days until John B’s death sentence. 

And yet, here she was; all wrapped up with the boy she loved in the Bahamas. 

Rafe thought it would be ideal to bring her away from the chaos. Her parents thought it was a good thing too, with all of the commotion and rebellion by the pogues. It was her second day in the strange place, but even with all of the soothing sounds coming from the waves, she couldn’t forget about John B. 

Rafe sighed, “Is it about John B?” 

“No,” she quickly said. She bit her lips, blinking to stop her tears from crashing down. 

“I love you,” Rafe breathed. His fingers stayed on her stomach, and it was a pleasing sight to see; two people in love. If only one has never committed a murder.

(Y/N) pursed her lips, because she couldn’t utter the words back. She loved him, of course, but she was scared. It wasn’t like it was Rafe’s fault entirely; he gave her a chance to confess, but she didn’t. 

Love is truly a blinding bitch. 

. . .

“You guys came back early,” Ward said, helping them out with the bags. He turned to look at (Y/N), and then back to Rafe. He sighed. 

“What is it?” 

“She’s not feeling well,” Rafe mumbled. His eyes were tired, showing how they have been fighting since god knows when. (Y/N) didn’t look any well either, keeping to herself the whole time from their departure.

Ward made to grab his arms before he could follow (Y/N) into the house. “Control her.” 

“She’s not a dog,” he said through gritted teeth. He pulled his arms away, seething. 

“She’s going to tell on you.” 

“She won’t,” Rafe answered back, but he too, wasn’t sure. 

Because all of her actions were showing him otherwise. 

She wasn’t like (Y/N) he knew anymore, but he took it as her way to cope with the situation. 

“What is wrong with you?” Rafe finally asked. He plopped onto the bed beside her, his lips curling. 

“I’m just tired.” 

“All we did in the Bahamas was sleep,” he scoffed. “You can’t use that excuse, (Y/N), come on.” 

“Maybe if you actually try to understand me you’ll get it.” 

“What?” 

“Nothing,” she sighed. She laid her back against his bed and closed her eyes, letting the darkness take over. 

“So like what? You’re going to tell the cops, huh? Is that what you’re going to do?” 

“God, can you let me breathe? We’ve just had a long fucking flight.” Her eyes opened, feeling so exhausted from the overwhelming situation. She didn’t know what to do, but fighting with Rafe was definitely not on the list. 

“Whose fucking fault is that?” He mumbled before standing up. 

Rafe exited the room, wanting to get away from her as soon as possible. He could feel it. He could see what was going to happen. He thought of this exact moment, but he didn’t really want to act on it out of fear. 

He wasn’t sure if he would ever hurt her.

Sometimes he felt like doing it, but he just couldn’t. Everytime her eyes set on him, he felt like seeing her for the first time again. 

“Hey, I’m sorry.”

(Y/N) wrapped her arms around Rafe’s waist as he stood near the railing of the porch. The sun was setting in, and it would look so mesmerising; just them two, but the feeling was long gone. 

“It’s okay,” he whispered, and breathed into her scent. 

His girl. His. 

. . .

(Y/N) was sleeping right beside him. 

She looked so peaceful, her hair fixed to one side and her chest heaving slowly. 

He couldn’t help but place a soft kiss on her temple. 

She shifted, groaning slightly. 

Rafe panicked, “Shit, I’m so sorry, baby. Go back to sleep.” 

“Why aren’t you sleeping?” She grunted, shifting her position to face him. “It’s midnight.” 

“Can’t sleep.” 

(Y/N) sighed, and pulled him close to her. “Go to sleep.” 

He smiled, laying his head against her chest now, and he could feel her heart beating. 

A few minutes after, he felt her poking him. “You’re asleep yet?” 

“No.” 

“Wanna go swimming?” 

“Where?” 

“The beach.” 

Rafe smiled, “You’re not tired?” 

“Am tired. But you can’t sleep.” 

She guided him to the exit, her hair messy from her slumber before. The moonlight glowed from above, illuminating the pathway to the beach behind her home. 

They sat on the beach for a while, just staring into the never ending landscape, until Rafe pulled her close again. 

“I love you.” 

(Y/N) smiled. “I know.”

She couldn’t. She just couldn’t utter it back. 

He removed his shirt, revealing his toned figure, and pulled her up her feet. She giggled, removing her own tank top and shimmying out of her shorts. She was completely naked now, and allowed herself to be pulled into the water. 

Strange enough, the water was not too cold or too hot. Just perfect. It was like the night was made for them. 

She giggled when Rafe pulled her further into the darkness, and a sudden thought of a strange creature in the water occurred to her. 

She reached for Rafe, her eyes trying to see through the water even though it was nearly impossible. 

Rafe laughed, holding her tight. Her chest was all pushed up against him, and he had never looked at something more beautiful than her. 

“We’re gonna die.” 

“Probably,” he rolled his eyes. “Maybe there’s that dinosaur from Jurassic World down here.”

She hit Rafe from the sudden thought of a monster underneath her, and went to swim away. Rafe laughed again, pulling her quickly by her wrist and letting her lay against his chest again. 

“I’m kidding. I’ll kill a monster for you.” 

They stared at each other again, breathing in each other’s presence, and finally, he closed in the distance. 

She melted into the kiss, feeling so good she never wanted to let go of that boy. She wrapped her arms around him, pulling him close, and it was all so perfect; 

Like something out of a book. 

“You’re perfect,” he whispered. He tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear, admiring her eyes, and placed another soft kiss. “So, so perfect.” 

(Y/N) smiled, always loving this side of Rafe. The side she knew before he. . .

She made to move away, but Rafe grabbed her again. He sighed, “What is it?” 

“I have to go,” she mumbled, and swam towards the beach. Rafe pulled her again, still so unsatisfied, because the moment was perfect, right?

They were kissing, he was telling her that he loved her. 

What else could he do? 

“What did I do?”

“Rafe, just let go,” she said, and pried her hands away. 

This time, he let her go. 

. . . 

Rafe thought it was finally time to make it right again. 

His relationship was getting rockier, and he intended for a smooth ride again. He straightened the dark blue suit he got from Chapel Hill, eyeing his watch from time to time. 

“Hey,” (Y/N) smiled, brushing her fingertips along his face. 

The gazebo was set exactly like the first time they met; all bright with fairy lights and smelled of floral candles. Her breath hitched at the sudden memory of that night. 

“You don’t have to do this,” she said. 

“I want to,” Rafe shrugged, helping her to her seat. He brushed her hair for good measure before going back to his seat. “You’re okay?”

She shifted uncomfortably, “Yeah.” 

They ate in silence. The only sound came from the clanking of the cutleries and the plate, and the constant sipping of the wine. 

Okay. Maybe what she did was wrong. 

But he’ll get out of it, right? 

He got money, the best lawyer in the states, and a high position. 

They wouldn’t put him through the death sentence.

Right? 

“I think it’s time,” Rafe said suddenly. (Y/N) looked up from her plate, her heart thumping wildly. Her eyes scanned the lake, and back to him. 

Rafe walked towards her, his mouth forming a bright smile. He reached for his pocket, pulling out a white box-

No. This couldn’t be.

(Y/N) won’t accept this. 

She simply just won’t. 

They’re too young. 

Too afraid. 

“No,” she said, scraping her chair to the back. “No, Rafe.” 

Rafe’s smile disappeared, his eyes turning low. “What?”

“No. I, I- I won’t accept it.” 

The diamond ring glimmered under the lantern, and (Y/N) noticed something similar from it. 

Her breath hitched.

Of course it would be the same promise ring she threw at him last year. Except it was updated. 

“It’s my mom’s ring,” he took a step closer. “What’s wrong? Don’t you want this?” 

More than anything. 

Her chest heaved, and she quickly put her hands up before him, as if protecting herself. “Rafe, I can’t. I’m so sorry.” 

He took a step closer, because god, he was so, so confused. He loved her more than anything in the world; more than himself. 

He was unsure about a lot of things, but not this. 

“Rafe,” she warned, still putting her hands up. “Please? I’m sorry.” 

“I don’t understand?” He whispered. His eyes were now filled with tears, and (Y/N) used all of her energy to stay away from him. 

For her own good. 

“I just can’t.” 

She stole a glance at his watch. She glanced at the lake again, her heart beating wildly. 

“Did I do something wrong?” 

“No,” she said. His forehead creased, and the tears were now completely wetting his suit. The ring was still left untouched in the box, still glimmering in the hope to be wrapped around someone’s finger. 

“Is it because-” he whispered. “Is it because of JJ? Did I do something wrong?”

“Rafe, stop,” she shook her head. “It’s not anyone’s fault. Let it go.” 

He took a deep breath. The box closed with a snap, and Rafe kept it back securely in his pocket. He held his head, walking away from her, muttering curses incoherently. 

“We can still be together.” 

“Fuck off,” he laughed. He pressed his back against one of the railings, closing his eyes and admitting to the darkness. His head felt light, and his fingers were trembling. 

“Rafe-” she walked towards him, placing a hand against his cheeks. He leaned into her, feeling her warmth, and didn’t try to stop the tears from falling. “I’m sorry, okay?” 

It was like falling down from a cliff; too fast, and everything happened in just a blink of an eye. 

Lights were coming from all directions, hitting them squarely on the face. Rafe protected his eyes from the red and blue lights, groaning, all the while searching for (Y/N). 

But she wasn’t there. 

“What the fuck?” He said to no one in particular, looking around wildly. Whatever the reason was, the police were coming to him; straight and fast. He knew he didn’t have time to reach for his car, not without (Y/N). 

“We’re not going to hurt you, son,” a voice bellowed from the lake. Rafe tried to see the figure, but the light was too blinding. “We’re going to make it fast and easy.” 

“What did I do?” He said, still trying to keep his cool, but it was failing miserably.

Anyone could see that Rafe Cameron was scared. 

Maybe it was the rejection from earlier. He didn’t know. What he was sure of was; he wanted to get away. 

The gazebo was guarded by the police now, and (Y/N) was nowhere to be seen. He sighed, taking a seat on her chair and grabbing the wine bottle. He downed the content, his heart beating wildly and his forehead clammy. 

It’s time. 

. . .

He had never felt this painful before. 

His head was throbbing, and his chest was soaring with agony in all the right places. He trembled as he sat up straight, trying to clear off his blurriness. 

It failed miserably when he reached for the toilet bowl, emptying his already empty stomach for the third time today. Rafe was sure 98% of the vomit was his bile, and he wished for nothing more than death. 

Everyone does this to him.

Every. Single. Person. 

Ward tried helping him, hiring the best lawyer in the United States of America, but the chances for him to be freed were low. So, so low. 

They told him that he did multiple offenses in one go.

He couldn’t name any of it, and he has accepted his fate anyways. He didn’t see the point in living when the girl he loved was no longer there in the light. 

His memory was fading really fast, and everything that happened around him seemed like a dream. He wanted to reach reality, but he wouldn’t allow himself. 

“Cameron, you got a visitor.” 

“Tell Ward that I’m okay with getting killed.” 

“It’s not your papa, boy,” the police sighed. “It’s a girl.” 

His head perked up at ‘girl’. Maybe it was Wheezie, coming to see how fucked up her brother is. He bit his lips, stopping the incoming tears from the thought of Wheezie alone. 

He followed the officer down the jail, his eyes scanning the other cellmates. Some jeered at him, knowing him as the ‘rich boy who never got himself into jail because of money’, and loving the fact that Rafe Cameron was finally getting the treatment he deserved. 

Rafe sat in the empty room, his eyes staring at the bent part of the metal table. He remembered this room clearly; the room he was forced into questioning and had seen him cry until there were no tears left to cry. 

He waited a few more seconds, only hearing some noisy sounds coming from the old air conditioning. 

“Okay, thank you.” 

His head turned to behind him, hearing her voice so clearly now that his heart was soaring again. He watched as she entered the small room, not looking at him, and placed herself before him. 

“Hi, Rafe.” 

Rafe stared at her, not saying anything. His thumbs were fiddling with each other under the handcuffs, and his legs were shaking wildly. 

He had missed her more than anything in the world. 

She looked so much healthier; her hair was up in a ponytail, and her cheeks were rosy and bright. 

She didn’t look miserable like him. 

“How are you?” 

What a stupid question. 

“What do you think?” He asked, tilting his head to one side. “Are you my therapist, or something? Did Ward hire some kind of a prison therapist to help me stay positive until the day I’m hanged?” 

She sucked in a breath. “Rafe, I’m trying to help you.” 

“Congra-tu-fucking-lations,” he smiled. “I’m getting the death sentence. Would you care to watch me getting hanged tomorrow? It'll be like seeing me play volleyball on the beach like last time.” 

Oh god.

She didn’t know.

How could she? 

They told her that everything will be alright, that he will be released after paying a large sum of money. It would be unfair to the sheriff, but at least no one is getting killed at the end of the day. 

How could she be so fucking naive? 

“I didn’t know.” 

He laughed, “It’s okay. Would you come and see me though? It’ll be a damn pleasure.” 

“Rafe, stop,” she said, clutching onto the table. “You’re not getting hanged, okay? I’m sorry. I’ll get you out of this.” 

He softened, finally realizing what he had been saying. He sighed, still fiddling with his thumb, and looked at her again. “There’s nothing else left to do. We did everything.” 

“No, no, I can fix this-”

“(Y/N),” he sighed. He placed his cuffed hands on the table, asking for hers, and she gladly accepted them. She bit her lips, failing to stop her tears now that she felt him around her again. 

Her sweet, sweet boy. 

“It’s okay,” he said. “I accepted it. It’s my fault. There’s nothing you can do.”

There was a knock on the door, and (Y/N) jerked slightly from the sudden commotion.

3 more minutes. 

“It doesn’t have to be this way.” 

“There’s no other way,” he whispered. “But you will always be my love, okay?” 

She held him in her fingers now, caressing his face. She ran his fingers over the new scratches on his face a few times, soothing the pain down, and placed a soft, longing kiss on his lips. 

He kissed her back, feeling better slightly, and only pulled away when the second knock rang throughout the room. 

“Yes, by the way.” 

“What?” He asked, confused. His eyes were teary because god, he wished he could do better for her. 

For them. 

“Yes to marrying you.” 

He laughed. What a stupid thing to say a day before his death sentence. But he loved it. More than anything else in the world. He softened, “I don’t have the ring.” 

She guided his hands, sliding an imaginary ring over her ring finger, and she examined it admiringly under the white light. 

“Thank you,” he said. 

It was brief; their moment of happiness, but it was enough for Rafe. He couldn’t think of anything better than this, knowing that the love of his life had accepted to be with him.

(Y/N) pulled him in for another kiss as the last knock blared, and they stayed in that position after the door was opened, revealing the same officer who had brought her in. She gave (Y/N) a warm pat on the back, allowing her to give Rafe another long, last kiss. 

He could still taste her when she walked out, her eyes all wet now, her mouth whimpering. 

He put a hand up, waved it slightly to the right, his own eyes glassy. 

“I love you,” he mouthed. 

. . . 

Rafe didn’t know what to expect the next morning. 

He watched many crime documentaries and movies involving a death penalty before, but he never truly put his mind on what he would be feeling on the walk to the inviting creature called death. 

After (Y/N), Ward came to see him. They didn’t say much, only exchanging a few words of “how are you?” And “I’m okay”. But it was clear Ward Cameron was broken at the sight of his son. 

He failed as a father. 

He wished he could’ve been a better father to Rafe, because god, he loved him too much. He even thought of admitting to the crime, but the crime was too strong on Rafe’s side. 

He gave his one and only son a last, longing hug. They held each other in complete silence, just feeling the moment until an officer came, pulling Rafe away. 

He didn’t even get to say I love you. 

“You’re okay?” 

Rafe looked at whoever was responsible to kill him beside him, and nodded. “Yep.” 

He looked down at his white suit and sighed. “Can I wear something proper?” 

The man pushed him into the room, annoyed at his impulsive words. 

This boy just killed a goddamn sheriff, and he was still joking? 

“Rot in hell,” he told Rafe, to which he accepted the remark willingly. 

The executioner motioned for him to step on the tool, and Rafe thought about the simpler times in his childhood where he was told to stand on a stool in middle school by a teacher for kicking on a boy who touched Sarah on her newly washed hair. 

He couldn’t even remember the last time he saw her. 

The executioner, blinded by the black cloth around his head, looped the rope around his neck, and Rafe involuntarily swallowed his saliva. 

He looked down at his fingers, imagining his wedding ring. He smiled, looking up to the ceiling, watching as the white light blinded his eyes. 

Maybe in another life. 

-

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