#and like i REALLY liked gale but also it was never to obsessively drawing him levels

[xanfeursel]

i genuienly dont think ive obsessed over a character like i have with xan in a long hot minute.

[devildogdemon]

Bracing myself for committing potential Everlark sacrilege here. Still, I’m curious: Does anyone else ever dabble in the What If/headcanon that Peeta made up his original crush on Katniss? That in the beginning, it really was all just part of his and Haymitch's plan to hype Katniss up, and help boost her favor as the super rare chance for a District 12 Victor? But in the course of the first games, and particularly while committing to the star-crossed lovers act in the cave, he ended up actually falling in love with her?

This was actually my original interpretation the first time I read the first book. That all the rest of the backstory is still true: Mr. Mellark pointing Katniss out, Katniss singing the Valley song, etc. But it was just how Peeta remembered her, not the beginning of years-long pining.

Quick disclaimer: I'm not trying to argue for this headcanon's legitimacy. In fact, I now know it's not true. While writing this post, I remembered that Peeta told Katniss during the Victory Tour he was jealous of Gale before he officially met her. So by his own words, Peeta's crush predates the first Hunger Games.

Still, reading the first book on its own, it’s a headcanon I always come back to, and I think works in its own way sometimes.

For one thing, it’s a bit beyond my suspension of disbelief that Peeta was reaped alongside the girl he was silently obsessed with for 11 years. It feels way more like convenience to me than destiny or anything like that. Not to mention, this is supposedly a crush that began and persisted long before Peeta hit puberty.

But it’s not just the realistic aspect that draws me to this hc. It's also because I love how much it contributes to the 'accidental soulmates' aspect on Everlark. The idea that these two were not meant to fall in love. That if their lives went the way they thought or planned, they never would have spoken. They would have rarely crossed paths, if at all. They would have married different people, if anyone when it came to Katniss, but Gale would be the sole candidate if she did. And they would have lived out their days and died as strangers. But through a series of completely unforeseen, bizarre circumstances in this cruel world that brought them together in the most horrific of ways, from it emerged a real bond between them. Even if it started as a charade for sponsors, it morphed into a real bond of love and care that was genuine, and beautiful, and selfless, and real.

My take is essentially that Peeta took his mother's final words to him about Katniss as bitingly true, not that that made them any less hurtful. And from that point forward, he figured if he was going to do something worthwhile before his inescapable death, it would be to help his District. And the way to do that would be to help the girl who could do that better than he ever could.

Sure, there are things like him keeping hold on Katniss' hand during the chariot ride, and teasingly prodding her for a kiss while she's treating him. But...ok, I hesitate to project onto a boy who was and is leagues above me in every way (feel free to flame me for this). But as a former 16-year old boy myself, who was roughly that age when first reading the story, I kinda figured he just wanted to experience a taste of romance before his inevitable death? Like the PG version of "I don't want to die a virgin."

Anywho, gonna whistle past that embarassing hot take lol. But I think this hc gels well too with all his actions Katniss finds questionable: telling her everyone was watching her during the chariot ride, the crush revelation, teaming up with the careers to throw them off her trail, and fighting Cato. He's doing it all for her to win, even at the expense of himself. Not because he has feelings for her (yet), but because he believes in her.

But it's at the point when Katniss finds him in the mud bank, and she does everything in her power from then on to keep him alive, that maybe his feelings for her take a turn for the real. She shouldn't be trying to keep him alive. It’s of no benefit to her whatsoever. But she refuses to let him die. She will not even discuss it. It makes zero sense to him. No one's ever valued his life this much, even his own family. Why is this girl he barely knows, who never noticed him before, suddenly sparing no expense to keep him alive? To the point of risking her own life for him?

This comes to a head when he tries to rebuke her for going to the feast:

"No! Just don't, Katniss! Don't die for me. You won't be doing me any favors. All right? "Maybe I did it for myself, Peeta, did you ever think of that? Maybe you aren't the only one who...who worries about..what it would be like if..." "If what, Katniss?" "That's exactly the kind of topic Haymitch told me to steer clear of." "Then I'll just have to fill in the blanks myself."

On that last line, I took that as Peeta seeing for the first time that Katniss actually does care about him. More than anyone ever has. That she wants him to live, just as much as she wants them to win. And that's when he truly falls for her. Sadly, he makes the mistake of presuming she feels the same way. That's the only blank he filled in incorrectly.

But did he, though? Because what follows that last line is the first kiss between them that makes Katniss feel "stirring in her chest" and "wanting another." This whole conversation made her want to shut the world out, because "whatever I'm feeling, it's no one's business but mine."

So maybe their feelings for each other kinda awoke at the same time? And deep, deep down, the two of them could sense that shift in emotion toward each other. Where performance became reality. For Peeta, much stronger. But for Katniss, she's not quite there yet.

Now yes, I'm aware Katniss gets Peeta to tell the story of his crush AFTER this happens. But as Katniss points out prior to this, he's the silver-tongued one. Not to mention an established good liar. So keeping with the idea this was when he first noticed her, maybe he blends the facts here a little, and decides to make this the point of where his crush began? He probably had it in the vault anyway since the interview.

Finally, I thought this better explained Peeta's anger at the end, when the mask is finally lifted for him. Because logically, why would he think what started as an established act would become real for Katniss? As Katniss says, they were strangers who'd never spoken before all this. Is it because he still thinks she can't lie? Well she proved him wrong there, if only for a moment. I thought the more likely reason he thought Katniss' feelings for him became real, is because that's exactly what happened to him. As I mentioned before, his presumption wasn't entirely off, and Katniss' words that "not all of it" was for the Games are true enough. But it doesn't make the revelation any less crushing for him.

I really do wonder sometimes what kind of story this would have made for if Suzanne took this approach in the sequels. I know now it's an incorrect headcanon, but I'm curious if anyone else ever shared it while reading the first book, and wonders the same.

If you read all my silly ramblings about a now-debunked headcanon, I am both eternally grateful and eternally sorry. Feel free to share, concur, roast, or do whatever in response. Thank you and may this ship be ever on your dashboard :)

[sodapopseagull]

My little creature of a custom durge. He's a College of Lore bard whose main purpose is to Misty Step into the middle of everything, activate Phalar Aluve, and be a total pain in the ass with Cutting Words. On honor mode I play him as a swords bard tav alongside my friend's open hand monk and the combo is rancid.

Paris is a very old, pre-existing OC that I use for any game with a custom character creator because I hardcore struggle with making new characters for things. I initially intended to romance Karlach with him because I thought it'd be a good match, but then Gale happened to both of us LMAO

Wanted to share his ref plus a little drawing based one of Gale's patch 6 kisses! Beware, extensive Paris yappin' ahead ⬇

Paris is a resistant, and eventually redeemed, dark urge whose story runs alongside my friend's tav Ralum (the dragonborn in the 3rd image). Pre-nautiloid, the two of them have a rather nasty encounter where Paris, completely lost to himself under Bhaal's will, attempts to end Ralum in an act of typical Bhaalspawn bloodlust. Ralum manages to survive by swearing a paladin's oath against his would-be killer and using his newfound divine healing to stitch himself back together just enough to survive. Ralum never caught sight of Paris due to the nature of the attack, so when they encounter one another after the abduction, they actually get along swimmingly.

Paris and Ralum become the party's de-facto leaders, Paris as the face and Ralum as the muscle, and they get along quite well. There is a quirk to the tadpole connection between them- it's looser, both because Paris's brain is twenty kinds of damaged, and because of their unknown personal history. For a good while after they first meet, their thoughts bleed into one anothers' heads. Ralum is able to get a hold on it quickly, but Paris can only do so much. Apart from the occasional, very loud thought about Gale's big butt though, it isn't so bad.

Then, into Act 2, when pieces of the dark urge's history fall into place, and Paris starts to put together the forgotten details of his past, he realizes that he is the target of Ralum's oath. Not wanting to get Divine Smited into oblivion, he keeps it a secret. Unfortunately, most of the clues regarding the dark urge's history are like, easily observable conversations and artifacts, and Ralum isn't far behind on figuring things out. By the time they reach Rivington, things are tense and scary and bad. There is a clear line drawn through the party through rising tension alone, and then act 3 stuff happens so-

I have a fic planned about their journey together, but as someone who is still new to writing things with the intent to be read by others, it's too big a project for me to feel confident in continuing at the moment. I might break it down into a series of oneshots, but at some point I do want to get it all down. I think it'd be fun, and my pal seems to enjoy the rambles 😊

Also- GALE. Paris is so obsessed with Gale both because they have remarkable chemistry and because I'm obsessed with Gale and Paris is my character so... yeah. It was a love-at-first sight thing for Paris, but since he feels that way about tons of people who show him a shred of kindness (he had a crush on Ralum for about a tenday after meeting him post-nautiloid) he doesn't take it seriously at all. Gale is fun to talk to (Paris is a yapper to rival Gale, make no mistake) and he's funny and admittedly quite cute, but so are a lot of people, and Paris is so off from the abduction, amnesia, and illness from his urge that he doesn't really have the bandwidth to think much more on it.

What ends up solidifying their bond initially is pain. Gale has chronic pain from the orb, and due to the absolutely wild shit Kressa Bonedaughter and Orin did to the dark urge, as well as the fact that a durge seems to suffer sometimes severe physical consequences from resisting their urge, they both feel like shit all the time. While Paris generally keeps his pain hidden, Gale can recognize it. Paris, meanwhile, finds a lot of catharsis in offering Gale relief, as if it's proof that he's more than what his dark urge demands him to be. They make a habit of spending their evenings together over a glass of wine and a bit of healing magic. Sometimes a book, but Paris's brain is usually pretty fatigued by nightfall, so Gale will occasionally read to him.

By the time the act 1 weave scene happens, there is already a pretense of intimacy to it, and when Paris pictures the pair of them cuddled up and watching the stars together, it goes over quite well. I don't think either of them are ready for a proper romantic relationship- Paris cannot remember how his last one ended (spoiler, it was VERY bad) but he carries a lingering anxiety around the prospect of entering a new one, and Gale has all of his Mystra baggage, but there is a newfound sense of commitment and a real promise of something in the future.

They're both extremely devoted partners and are honestly kinda gross by the end of the tadpole adventure with how mushy and in love they are. They are tragically separated at the end though, as Paris goes to Avernus with Karlach after Wyll is severely injured in the final battle, and that has NOTHING to do with the fact that it gives an opportunity for bloodweave to develop in the 6 month timespan between the defeat of the netherbrain and the reunion party. (Paris is polyamorous and doesn't know if he'll survive Avernus, and he tells Gale that he deserves whatever love comes his way. He asks that Gale not wait on Paris's return, but if there is a place for him in Gale's heart when he returns, he will gladly come back to him.) At the party, a very eager Wyll takes Paris's place at Karlach's side, loaded with newfound ranger skills honed under the careful guidance of Minsc and Boo (Karlach and Wyll geeking out over Minsc and Jaheira is so CUTE and the idea of Wyll training as a ranger under their tutelage, especially so he can make his way to Avernus to be with Karlach, makes my heart explode), so Paris ends up going back to Waterdeep with Gale and Astarion.

Idk if things develop romantically between Paris and Astarion beyond their mutual love for Gale. What I do know is that Gale deserves to be trapped between two men who want to eat him, affectionately.

Also, trans Gale is a really beloved headcanon to me, so Paris and Gale are a t4t couple yeaaaAAAAAAH BABY

I could go on forever about this dude, but I think that's enough for now. Writing Paris/Gale fic makes me feel a little silly, unfortunately, but I do want to take a shot a more down the line. I like them a lot haha.

[tuffdwightwest]

This year really is throwback year for me. Been watching a lot of my old shows and revisiting old fandoms. It's cool to know that some are still active, Storm Hawks woo, sad to see others are dead ;~; but I've honestly been really enjoying myself.

Of the ones I rewatched I'm gonna make a top ten tier list of the ones that held up how I remember and ones that didnt.

10. Golden Compass

Specifically the movie that I was obsessed with as a child. Honestly it still held up and I feel like I actually understood way more then when I did as a child. I just put it as number 10 cause although I did enjoy the experience it didn't really spark anything new. Good movie though! I bought the new series to compare.

The greatest draw for the Golden Compass was always the world building to me. I remember as a child imagining myself with my own Daemon. We need more Golden Compass AUs.

9. Pokemon XD: Gale of Darkness

Ironically I revisited this game before Jaiden haha. I secured a Gamecube controller around January and brought ye old gamecube out of storage for a binge. Honestly a played a bunch of games besides this one, X-Men Legends, Finding Nemo, etc. But this one stood out the most.

It was honestly a lot of fun. I love the world of Orre and although I think Paldea is now my favorite Orre remains the second and is strongly there. This region was so fascinating and there has yet to be a team to top Cipher in my eyes. These guys were generally threatening to me. The characters were eh though and it was really the world building and story that kept me going.

I know it's never going to happen but gah I wish we could get a remaster or even better a new game in this region.

8. Kim Possible

This was the summer binge and I watched all movies and series. Yes even the live action recent one. All in all it was pretty enjoyable. Kim is badass, Ron is adorable and Shego is 😮. It was amusing to remember what I could and couldn't remember. Although I put it lower then the others for one reason.

As a child I absolutely loved the Kim/Ron pairing but rewatching it now... I actually didn't care for it as much. Kim was always pushing Ron aside, wouldn't hang out with him in school cause of her reputation. It honestly painted her in a light that hurt. Still an amazing story with great characters. My favorite episode definitely being the one where Drakken raps. Just wish

7. Wizards of Waverly Place

I was obsessed with this show as a child. Although ironically I remember not liking Alex at all. Also ironically I still hold that sentiment. Just not as strongly. Alex was great and the series(and movie) were fun. Again the draw was the world but I'm still mad that only one person could technically be a wizard. Such a lame world but that's the world they live in.

Good magical shenanigans and honestly not too goofy with the visual effects. I remembered more of a story so was surprised when this really didn't seem to have one till later. Regardless still enjoyed myself. Also side note but her parents are goals. Think as an adult they are my favorite characters.

6. X-Men(90s Cartoon)

Does a mall rat eat chili fries. Although this one got number 6 I will say this show is so dated. You can definitely tell it was the 90s but I actually kind of like it for that reason. Its over the top but surprisingly mature. With the first episode starting with Morph dying then the team mourning afterwards.

I was honestly surprised by what they did show in it. I know it was based on the comics(which I also own and am a huge fan of). But for a kids adaptation of it they didn't change much. Honestly I wish I would place this one higher just simply due to the themes and the impact of the stories. Only reason I'm not is cause obviously the show is borrowing from the cartoons.

But yeah, if you were thinking of watching it. I highly recommend it. It is very 90s but still very mature and probally the best experience I had rewatching as an adult. Show had me crying on more then one occasion. Let yourself get immersed in the world and I'm sure you will enjoy yourself as well.

5. Bakugan

I admit I should probally put this a bit lower. Cause I watched the second and third season and was utterly neutral on them. However... the first season was as I remembered and this was one of my childhood top ten favorites so... of course its gonna make the top five.

Great Pokemon knock off with characters I still love. Honestly Dan was the weakest character for me but he still was great. I love the main group and the creature designs. Preyes, my favorite as a child, was more annoying then I remembered but was still wonderful. Never skipped the opening once haha.

All in all it was pretty solid and unlike a lot of the other shows on here. It actually hopped into the plot by the first episode. There was not a lot of fillers. Just wish the series after it didn't just throw it all away.

4. My Babysitters A Vampire

I'm actually surprised I'm rating this here cause in a way the others are probally better but... I loved every one of the characters, the world is very bare bones but what we do have is extremely intriguing. Most of the show I was honestly just trying to learn more about the world. It was fascinating and opened up a lot of questions.

The queer subtext was also amazing. I swear not one of these characters are straight. As someone who likes plot usually this series did not get into it until way later. Being more of a monster of the week type show. The monsters were fun though and contributed to the world, and again the characters are great, which is why I think I was lenient.

Might actually do a fic related to this one down the line. Mostly to dump my own headcanons down and cause I looked and there was not a fic with what I was looking for.

3. Teen Titans

By no surprise to anyone... yes this was amazing to start to finish. I was going in with high expectations and it delivered. As someone who also reads the comics honestly this rendition of them is still my favorite to date. Beast Boy is still my favorite but have to say on rewatch Cyborg is equal or maybe even overpassed him.

The show was just great. Honestly not much more needed to be said here. It was how I remembered and great still. In terms of just quality this is actually number 1. It was only surpassed by the other 2 cause honestly it's perfect. I watched it and left satisfied but with no need to hop into the fandom or even read fanfics for it. It gave me what I needed and then I moved on.

2. Ben 10

I have to admit watching the first series that everyone completely hypes up. I was disappointed. Ben was annoying, Gwen was stuck up and honestly at first it was not living up to how I remembered. Then I moved onto Alien Force and the next ones. And that... was where the fond memories of waking up every Saturday to watch Ben 10 came from.

Kevin joining them and becoming a good guy. Fire. I always enjoy redemption arcs and he was honestly amazing. Gwen was honestly a bamf and her pink magic, amazing. Ben was genuine and honestly probably my favorite protagonist as someone who has a problem of usually tossing away the main character in favor of sides.

And of course, omg the aliens. I lovvvveee them so much. Their designs, seeing native versions of them. The creature design of this series is phenomenal and the action scenes honestly hold up even now. Honestly I think there is a reason Ben 10 keeps coming back. The world that he is apart of is amazing. I'd love like an adult CW cartoon just called: "The Plumbers" or something. Just to stay engrossed in this world.

I did watch a bit of the new series but admittedly wasn't as big of a fan of it. It was okay but I enjoyed the more mature themes of the 'teen' versions of them.

1. Storm Hawks

Atmos. A world of a thousand mountain top kingdoms.

And full of some of the coolest world building based on barely anything I had seen in awhile. This show immediately got me rehooked to Atmos the minute I started. The Sky Bikes were amazing to watch, the various other races in the world really added as well. Also I genuinely liked pretty well every character seen. Especially the main cast. They all... got along, it felt very organic and fun.

Honestly this one hurt the most to rewatch and get to that cliffhanger ending. The show wasn't that long but Ah I wish it was more. I would want a return to the world of Atmos. Whether with the Storm Hawks or someone else. I've even started to write some fanfic for it just to get the excitement out that I had for retouching on this fandom.

This is so far I have a list of others that I'm going to be checking out. And hey if anyone has any other recommendations I'd be down. Most of these I watched just cause I randomally got sparked or reminded of the fandom.

My next 5 on the list though are:

1. Atomic Betty

I remember this one fondly so I hope it was as good as I remember. It's just a matter of finding it.

2. Martin Mystery

I remember this show was super scary when I was younger. Doubt itll 'scare' me now but I'm still excited to watch.

3. Class of the Titans

I only remember an episode that had a vampire in it and that's about it. Really excited to see this one. And also see that episode apparently with the vampire.

4. Secret Saturdays

Monster fighting family with a sasquatch. Yeah I'm down. This one will be interesting though cause although I know I watched it. I know I wasn't that into it as a child. Still I want to see it again.

5. Transformers Animated

I saw an image of Prowl and it reminded me of this one. I never saw it on actual tv but I remember renting the series at the video store as a child and binging them. I'm real excited to watch this one again honestly. I might start with it as Transformers has always been great.

[seasonsofeverlark]

Hope Lies In Tomorrow

Author: @mega-aulover​

Prompt: Katniss is caught crossing the fence by peacekeepers. Serves time. Conditions of parole: employment nearby (busy bakery?) and reporting weekly to the parole officer (Haymitch?) Will she find anything to be thankful for this thanksgiving [submitted by @567inpanem​]

Rating: M (Because, well, it will get to that status. There will be violence and mentions of abuse, and some characters are off canon.)

Author’s Notes: This story took me for a loop. I couldn’t resist it. I tried to make it light and fun, but it just wanted to be a freight train to the gut. The words “serves time.” I kept on getting back to that, and my imagination just took flight so much that the first two chapters are about 9.5K words. I promise chapter 3 will be a painful doozy. Special thanks to @norbertsmom​.

     Chapter One

The spotlight made Katniss wince as she distinctly heard Darius say, “Pluck a duck,” into the cold dark night.

“We caught a Poacher!” The young Peacekeeper said out loud. He jumped and clapped his hands like a preschool girl with pigtails who just won a prized sticker. He was one of the new cadets brought in for training. 

Daruis was the new Head Peacekeeper. He earned the promotion when Cray retired. Darius also inherited the group of new Peacekeepers. They were eager rule-following Cadets. 

“Everdeen!” Darius groused.

Katniss sighed. She kept her hands in the air. It was the perfect ending to the worst day. It started with the evil spawn of Buttercup peeing inside her drawer. Things got worse when Gale announced he wasn’t going to be able to join her tonight, and he wouldn’t tell her why either. Then this afternoon she discovered her baby sister, well technically, Prim was seventeen and taller than Katniss, but that’s neither here nor there, she was rolling in the hay with Vick Hawthorne. 

Prim wasn’t supposed to be…. well…sex crazed.  Katniss saw red, took a bucket of ice-cold water, and dumped it on top of the two idiots. Vick was fifteen and, like Gale, looked older than Prim’s baby-faced self. Needless to say, Prim was livid. Vick went home with blue balls. And the arguing match that ensued gave Katniss a massive headache. 

However, finding her sister doing the equivalent of two goats breeding in Lady’s pen was nothing compared to their mothers’ reactions to Prim’s escapade. Euadora Everdeen backed Prim and said, “Prim was doing what came natural.” It was what came next that flabbergasted Katniss. “At least I have one normal daughter.” 

It was the last straw, until this moment.

This day was supposed to go so differently. She’d woken up with so much hope  then things fell apart. But she’d kept thinking, tomorrow, tomorrow would be a brighter day. Just get through today and tomorrow would be a better day.

“Katniss,” Darius growled.

Katniss shrugged. There was nothing Darius could do. If he had been alone, he would have looked the other way.

“I’m sorry, but I have to take you in.” 

She held out her hands; she knew the drill. This wasn’t going to be her first time in the District Twelve lock up. In fact, as Darius pulled her toward the transport, and she quietly climbed into the back, this was all familiar. The last time was at that darned Harvest Fair five years ago.

“This would have been easier had you gone to the Fair,” Darius said.

 Her scowl was instantaneous.

“What,” Darius said, jumping inside of the wagon while the young Peacekeeper closed the door. 

“I’m sorry, Darius. 

“I know, Katniss,” Darius was sympathetic. His communicator crackled with a voice that communicated a code. “Roger that.”

In the semi-darkness Katniss could see Darius teeth as he grinned. 

“Old man Haymitch is going to throw the book at you.” Haymitch and she had a long-standing history. She stayed out of trouble and he wouldn’t bring trouble to her. 

Haymitch Abernathy was the former Victor of the 50th Hunger Games and town drunk. The transition from a government run by one man, President Snow, to one run by a council with a true elected leader were the scariest months in Panem. No one knew what would happen. Fears of retaliation from the former government ran high. The word came down from the Capitol for each district to send a District Liaison.

Haymitch volunteered.  

Turns out the drunken Victor was smart, wilier than anyone could perceive. Haymitch helped form the transition team to create the new charter between the Capitol and the Districts. When he came back, Haymitch could have been elected to become the mayor. He could have taken over the position of Head Peacekeeper, since Cray was from the old regime. Instead, Haymitch made up a position, the town Magistrate. Every district would have a way to fairly dispense justice, with the Peacekeepers relegated to do just what their name described keeping the peace. From town drunk to judge, this was the world of the new Panem. 

Though Katniss would rather face Haymitch than her mother.

“Has your mother calmed down?”   

Katniss grimaced. It all started with the initiative. Ever since the President  went crazy and abolished the Games, calling it the Lucy Grey Baird initiative, and then promptly dying before anyone could change the law, her mother’s focus changed from reliving the past to finding Katniss a husband.   

Her mother began railing against her plan to stay single. Mind you Katniss was only sixteen at the time and she could only focus on the fact that her baby sister would never again experience a Reaping.

Nope, not her mother, Eudora Everdeen, somewhere between her melancholy that ensued after pa’s death and the cancellation of the 74th Hunger Games, decided to become a holy nightmare, worse than any horror Katniss’s imagination could conjure up. Her mother tried to fix her up with various men throughout the district. Her mother’s sting about her single status was the last straw tonight.

“She’s stopped,” Katniss flinched; it wasn’t the entire truth.

Eudora hadn’t really stopped, there were introductions all of the time. There was Waylon, Adam, Zachary, Jackson, Hank, Lee, Hunter, Davis, Ashley, Samuel, Vernon, Beau, Elijah, not to mention Humperdinck, who was also known as the Goat Man. It was always the same pattern. A subtle introduction, followed by an invitation to tea or supper or both, a run in in the Seam or the Hob, before the guy in question lost interest and her mother went back to the drawing board. Eudora didn’t push, but she didn’t relent either. However, recently, her mother had been quiet. Katniss hoped after 5 years, her mother finally gave up.    

“But?” Darius asked.

The transport shook as it began to move. 

“Nothing.”

“You know, you’re a bad liar.”

“She doesn’t like me being alone.”

“That’s preposterous. I know plenty of women Peacekeepers.”

“You know we are talking about Eudora Everdeen?”

Darius grinned. “You mother did tell one of my new recruits she should leave her hair down because it would make her look pretty. She even asked me when my time was up and if I was interested in courting you.”

“Yup,” Katniss breathed, “that’s my mother.”

“So is it true she tried to pair you with Gale and even Gale got scared.”

“How do you know?” Katniss’ mother first picked Gale, who conversely, after seeing her mother try to manipulate them as a couple, was shocked. One good thing came off Eudora’s meddling. Gale laid off the entire, we-make-sense offer to toast angle, and suddenly became a perfect angel around her and the rogue doubled his efforts around other women to prove that he wasn’t interested in Katniss.  

“You forget how small District Twelve is,“ Darius said looking tired as he rubbed his face.

He’s right. Twelve is the smallest of all the Districts. And nothing stayed buried, just like a piece of coal, it would be eventually unearthed.

"Gale said my mother was loonier than the Goat man when he got drunk on Ripper’s special liquor.” Ripper called her special liquor, the ‘shine.’ There were rumors the shine caused people to do strange things. Katniss wasn’t interested in drinking anything that wasn’t life sustaining. Her only thought was to keep food on the table and maintain the roof over her family’s heads. Just last summer she had to fix the roof all by herself. Drinking or marriage were out of the picture.

When Gale politely said he wasn’t interested in Katniss, her mother was upset, but said she understood that Gale only saw Katniss as a sister. Five years ago, Katniss hoped with her mother’s attempts thwarted, Eudora would give up getting her hitched. Little did she know it wasn’t over by a long shot. 

Darius snorted. “Your name comes up every year." 

"Ugh. I avoid that damned dance every year.” There were three main social events in District Twelve, where parents shoved their young for possible partnerships and couples did coupley things, The Spring Formal, The Harvest Fair, and the Winter Festival. The last of these major social events had been the Harvest Fair.

“Waylon still asks about you every time.”

Katniss groaned hearing that name again. He was Leevy’s brother, who was in Gale’s class. Waylon was the next on her mother’s list. Waylon’s obsession began slowly. He failed his last year of school and became a quasi-associate. He would show up at her locker and want to walk with her to class. At first it was nice. He was Gale’s friend and as long as he didn’t talk, she didn’t mind. When they graduated, he went to work in the mines.  Katniss set up a booth in the Hob selling her jerky.

And for a time, everything was calm. Then he started coming to supper. He tried to become friends with Prim. Her sister thought him weird. Then one day, Waylon tried to kiss her. When she pushed him away, he chased her straight into the forest. Thankfully, he didn’t dare go into the woods. 

The woods became her refuge. As soon as she knew Waylon was let loose of his shift at the mines, he would head straight to the Hob.  Katniss would pack up her booth and run off into the woods. She began hunting at night to get away from him. Also, she sort of used Gale as an unofficial bodyguard to keep Waylon at a distance. Waylon was a sore spot in her relatively short life span. 

“He does?” The words slipped out before they could be stopped. 

“He’s got a thing for you Katniss,” Darius’ voice sounded full of mirth, “He’s one of many in the district.”

“If I weren’t in handcuffs, I’d deck you.”

Darius grinned. “He still shoots Peeta the evil eye.”

At the mention of Peeta’s name, her brain misfires.

Peeta.  

Sigh, strong, capable, dependable, sweet, kind, lovely, delicious…always lurking in her dreams, Peeta. 

That night at the Harvest Fair, every time she saw Waylon come her way she hid. Thankfully Peeta came to her rescue. He asked her to dance and afterwards he escorted her the entire time.

Oh, Peeta tried to keep her out of trouble. He was so nice, and she had no way to pay him for his kindness in rescuing her that night. Even four years later she could still recall every detail. He did admirably despite her lack of social graces, and inability to dance. 

Katniss groaned in the transport, her head leaning up against the metal wall. Dancing with Peeta was heavenly, being with Peeta was indescribable, but Katniss shoved that feeling deep, deep, way deep inside of her, locked it up and only took out that memory in the dead of night. When she was alone in her bed, her fingers drifted to her lady parts and she sought relief from the thoughts of what it would be like to kiss him over and over. ��

She had a secret bond with Peeta, a bond she couldn’t shake. “Peeta,” her heart whispered with longing. Katnis hoped Darius couldn’t see how deeply she was affected by her baker. Peeta was the one soul in the district who knew her better than anyone else. 

“So, it’s Peeta you have a thing for. Waylon’s not wrong in giving him the evil eye.” 

Katniss scowled at Darius, causing him to laugh.

“I’d have to be drunk on the shine,” Katniss grumbled. She hoped to redirect Darius, he was so near the truth.

“Katniss,” Darius rubs his face. “Please don’t tell me you’ve drunk the shine.”

“No. Gale swears he has. He said it’s so strong it has the power to peel paint off the walls. Is it true…about you and the shine?” Katniss asked.

Darius became serious.

"So, it isn’t true. I knew Gale was lying."  

Darius cleared his throat. "It made me hallucinate. There are things, Everdeen, you shouldn’t ever try.”  

"Duly noted.”

The transport rolled, and another command came through the radio. Darius “What?”

“Star 451,” the voice answered back.

“Pluck a duck,” Darius whispered angrily. “Are you sure?” 

His angry voice sounded out of control as if he wanted to hit something or someone. The atmosphere changed suddenly. It crackled with foreboding darkness. Katniss tried to ignore it, she knew she was in trouble.

For the rest of the journey Katniss wondered what was going on, what did that Star 451 mean? Katniss noted Darius became quiet, and sullen; all the traces of humor left his face. Darius stopped looking at her as if he couldn’t face her. Finally, the transport came to a halt.

“We’re here.”

Katniss winced, thinking of Haymitch Abernathy, and the uncertainty that faced her outside of the transport.

“Wait for me to get down before you get up,” Darius bit out as the door opened and the cold wind caused Katniss to shiver. 

Katniss wrinkled her nose. Haymitch was going to be a pain in the neck. The last time she’d been before him things were not pleasant.  When she got down, her eyes widened. They weren’t at the Justice building. They were at the Victors Village.

It was one thing to stand in the Justice building, a cold sterile edifice made of white stone. It was another to stand inside of a home. “Darius?”

The transport moved on and there was another waiting, one that did not have any insignia on the side. It was black and it reminded Katniss of the one they used to transport the corpses of the deceased.

“Come on,” Darius said gently, once more avoiding looking at her.

Katniss nodded. She wasn’t someone who let things affect her. She didn’t scare easily, this however, put pure fear in her heart.

Darius escorted her inside of the massive house and guided her into a room by the side. There was a roaring fire in the fireplace. The warmth stung her cold skin. There was a dark wooden desk, two comfortable chairs, and another pair facing the fireplace. “Sit.”

Katniss sat in one of the chairs facing the desk.   

“Give me your hands, Katniss,” Darius said.

Katniss lifted her trembling hands.

“What did I tell you ‘bout keeping your nose out of trouble, Sweetheart?” Haymitch grumbled from the door.

Katniss masked her fear.

Four years ago Gale was sick and couldn’t attend that darned Harvest Fair. Katniss needed a way out, thankfully Peeta rescued her.

Everything was splendid and at one point while staring into his gorgeous blue eyes Katniss was breathless. It was toward the end of the night when his mother, the witch, pulled him away and that’s where all hell broke loose. Accidentally, in her haste to get away from Waylon, a small fire started when one of the glass lamps fell, and broke. Several bales of hay caught fire. It somehow escalated and concluded with a goat stampede down the center of town. 

Her mother blamed Katniss for embarrassing Waylon and his family, and basically setting the fair on fire. Haymitch told her mother that her unfettered meddling would one day cause the destruction of all she held dear. Eudora Everdeen was not amused, nor was she happy with the outcome. Haymitch let Katniss go with a slap on the wrist because her only criminal act was trying to flee the unwanted attention of a man. Plus, thanks to Peeta’s quick thinking, it was only the stage that burned. He and his brothers managed to get the fire out and they built another stage, how they did it in one day, Katniss didn’t know. 

She kept away for the rest of the Harvest Fair, thinking it was better not to remind the community of her stupidity. She’d been lulled under Peeta’s spell. She’d done more than dance and start a fire at that fair. Heat rose from the pit of her belly and flowed to her core and spilled on to her cheeks.

The sound of a chair being scraped on the wood floor caused her bubble to break. Katniss shook her head. Her eyes came back into focus to the present.

“Darius, you can wait outside. Katniss isn’t going to do anything stupid,” Haymitch turned his grey eyes toward her, “are you?” 

Katniss shook her head no. 

Darius nodded and walked outside, closing the door.

Katniss didn’t even bother rubbing her wrists. She balled her hands and rested them at her side.

“You’re probably wondering why you got caught?”

She hadn’t really. Katniss thought it was just a routine inspection. There were bears in the woods and just one week ago the electric fence had been damaged.

“Your mother.”

“What?” Katniss growled. Her lips thinned her anger skyrocketing. Then she thought for a second it couldn’t be. “She wouldn’t…”

“She did, and there wasn’t anything Darius or I could do. We had to arrest you?”

A combination of bitterness and sadness swept into her soul like the bitter winds that brought the frigid winter air. It was one thing to try to get her to marry; it showed that her mother cared. However, handing her over to the authority showed Katniss that her mother had fallen out of love for her. Can a mother un-love a child? It could happen, she supposed, thinking of Peeta’s mother, the witch. That woman only cared for one person, herself.

“Sorry Sweetheart, Darius tried to dissuade her. She said it was time for you to learn what the real world was all about. But instead of leaving it with me and Darius, she went to the Justice building and filed a complaint with Panem’s Bureau of Justice. She got Seneca Crane’s underwear in a twist. He’s demanding you pay for your crimes.”  

Katniss gasped. Seneca Crane was from the old regime. He was the Head Gamemaker of the 74th Hunger Games. His arena was never used. The man was so twisted and evil that he was merciless with those who came under his thumb, and she was one of them. Katniss wondered how someone like him still had power in this new Panem. 

There was no doubt in her mind she was going to serve time. Those who served time were often sent away to another District. She could be sentenced to District Eleven to work in the fields, District Two to work in the mines, or work in District Four in the fish processing plants doing the lowest of menial jobs. “How much time will I be sentenced?

“A year Sweetheart, you can get out early for good behavior, come back here and work the rest of your sentence as a parole.”

Tears gathered in her eyes. She’d never been away from home, never was tempted to escape into the wilds of the forest. Now she was going to be carted out in the middle of the night. She was a blemish to society, unwanted, a problem for her mother. A solitary tear rolled down her face.

Katniss didn’t need handcuffs any more; she was about to be branded as undesirable.

Darius quietly walked in with the machine. They slid her hand in the machine and she cried as the skin of her wrist was seared with an imprint. Cradling her hand she read *451. Now she understood.

“I’m sorry Katniss,” Darius whispered.

Two heavy set men dressed in black came in and pushed her inside of the waiting black transport.

Chapter Two 

Peeta whistled.

“You’re in a good mood,” Norma Jean, his brother Graham’s wife said.  

Norma Jean was his favorite sister in law. Graham had fallen head-over-heels for her. It was funny because before Norma Jean, Graham’s type were tall statuesque thin blondes. Norma Jean was short, and as she put it, rounder than an apple. She was also sweeter than the candy she and Graham sold at the confectioners’ shop.

“I am.” He couldn’t help himself.

Today was Saturday, his favorite day of the week, one because the bakery closed early, and two because Katniss always came by on Saturday to trade with him. No one else. Peeta knew for certain Katniss didn’t trade with anyone else but him.

“Well it’s my favorite day.”

Norma Jean grinned. “Is it because of a certain huntress?”

“Maybe,” he said.

“Hmmm,” Norma Jean said, rubbing her belly, she was heavily pregnant. She was sniffing the air. When pregnant, Norma Jean had the ability to identify different herbs by smell. Her nose was that good.

Peeta kept quiet and wondered how long it would be before she sniffed the cheese buns he had hidden in the back.

“Have you heard from Rye?”

Peeta grinned. “He’s back in District Two.”

Rye was the reason Peeta had inherited the family bakery. With Graham married to Norma Jean, their mother thought Rye would take over the bakery, leaving Peeta out of the inheritance. Then, one-and-a-half years ago Rye announced he wanted to be a Peacekeeper. Nothing their mother said or threatened dissuaded Rye from becoming a Peacekeeper.

“He’s great actually, talked to him last night.”

“Graham’s still upset with him. He didn’t want Rye to sign up to a twenty year commitment to be celibate to serve home and country.”

Peeta recalled. “You know how Rye gets when he wants something.”

“Yeah.” Norma Jean nodded.     

“His training is over, and he’s waiting for his assignment. When we were talking at least ten guys came by to say hello.” Peeta had gotten to know the guys in Rye’s squad. They were from all over Panem.

“Good, I am glad.”

“Won’t Graham miss you?”

“Nope, my sister Virginia is helping him set up; the boys were fast asleep.”

“You do realize today is Saturday and they’re up early on Saturday.” Peeta said.

“Exactly, no one bothers the sweet shop at six in the morning, nine maybe, but six…only those who are craving stuff like me…now, hot buns, give me one of those treat’s you’re saving for your huntress,” Norma Jean demanded.

Peeta shook his head. “I would never deny you anything.”

He walked into the back whistling and grabbed two of the cheese buns he’d saved for himself to share with Katniss.

“For you,” Peeta said, bowing slightly.  

“I haven’t seen you like this since that Harvest Fair?” Norma Jean raised an eyebrow.

“Oh,” Peeta said.

“You can’t lie to me, Peeta,” Norma Jean said, narrowing her eyes, one fist curled around the cheese bun.

“You’re right,” Peeta said.

“So, it is Katniss,” Norma Jean said.

Peeta could feel the heat raising up to his cheeks. He looked at his reflection in the smooth surface of the metal case; he looked ruddy.

After they graduated, Katniss set up her shop in the Hob. Her jerky was a favorite amongst the residents. Katniss had enough coins to buy everything she needed. She could buy bread, but she didn’t. Their friendship began slowly. At first it was a slight nod, with her cheeks so rosy she couldn’t look him in the eyes.

The Harvest Fair changed everything. They’d been a little tipsy as a result of the hard apple cider Greasy Sae offered them. She’d pulled him into Mr. Plover’s blacksmith and horse barn and kissed him. The kiss got out of hand and one thing led to another. Soon they were in one of the empty horse stalls and tearing their clothing off. Katniss had given him her virginity and he had given her his. When they walked out hand in hand Peeta couldn’t help the goofy grin on his face. He would never forget how soft her eyes looked.

Then his mother came looking for him, and everything became a nightmare. Peeta advocated for Katniss, got his brothers and his friends to clean up and rebuild the stage. Katniss was arrested, and the community shunned her. They took Waylon’s side, no thanks to Mrs. Everdeen. Katniss had never attended another social event after that.

“Yes.”

“Oh,” Norma said excitedly.

“Well.” His eyes went to the store front. Mrs. Bernelle came into the store. With Thanksgiving tomorrow Peeta expected a brisk business today.

“Hello Mrs. Bernelle,” Peeta greeted.

“Hello Peeta, Norma Jean.”

“Hello,” Norma Jean said, rubbing her stomach.

 “You’re due any day now?” Mrs. Burnelle said warmly to Norma Jean.

“ Just about.” Norma Jean smiled warmly.

“How can I help you, Mrs. Burnelle,” Peeta said, wanting Mrs. Burnelle out of the store so that he could speak to Norma Jean.

“May I have a dozen of your dinner rolls, but only the freshest.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Peeta said, grabbing a brown paper bag. He quickly dispensed the rolls.”

Mrs. Burnelle smelled the bread, “These smell delicious,” she leaned over and with a mischievous lilt in her voice. “Don’t tell you father, but you are the better baker.”

“I won’t,” Peeta laughed. “Is that all for today?”

“Yes.” She had the exact amount. She put it on the counter. “Thank you Peeta and Happy Thanksgiving.”

Thanksgiving became a national Holiday after the treaty between the Capitol and the Districts was ratified as law. A day for both sides to come together and celebrate everlasting peace and tranquility and celebrated with a big meal. Normally the Capitol sent all of the Districts a parcel with some sort of treat. Each year a District was selected to make a parcel to send to the Capitol. District Twelve had yet to be selected.   

“Thank you, you too,” Peeta said. He waited until the door was closed before he turned his attention back to Norma Jean.

“Whatever you have to tell me has got to be really good for you to be acting like you did four years ago?”  

Peeta sighed happily.

“Did something happen between you two?”

Norma Jean knew all. Peeta confided in her. When Katniss didn’t show up that Saturday after the Fair, she encouraged him to seek out Katniss. Peeta gathered his courage and found her at the Hob. She looked like hell and she wouldn’t even look at him in the eyes. Peeta found out from Greasy Sae, no one was buying her jerky.

Peeta brazenly bought her jerky and told her he’d run out of squirrels. Then he sent Norma Jean, and Norma sent Rye, and Rye sent Delly to buy her jerky. Delly sent someone else and so forth. There was no way he was going to allow the people of District Twelve to turn their backs on Katniss.

The following Saturday he found a package at his doorstep. Norma Jean packed up some bread and told him to pay her for her game meat. He’d gone down to the Hob and put the bread on her table and told her she’d forgotten her payment before he walked away.

This went on for weeks until she came by and shyly waited to make the exchange. Every Saturday he’d do his best to tamp down his own yearnings because Katniss needed a friend. He made it his mission to befriend her. Like a flower blossoming she opened up to him.  

Peeta remained tight lipped.

Mrs. Evangeline walked into the shop.

“Good Morning Mrs. Evangeline,” Peeta greeted, but he could see Norma Jean wanted to shove the nosy woman out of the bakery.

“Hello Peeta,” Mrs. Evangeline said with her list in hand. She nodded at Norma Jean. This morning Mrs. Evangeline was in battle mode. “I am in a rush this morning. I have to get to the butchers before the best cut of meat is taken,” she muttered. 

“What can I help you with today?”

“My daughter is coming home with her new husband and I need her favorite bread, a baguette.”

“Oh yes, I remember Rosalee loves the sourdough with Mrs. Caries strawberry preserves.”

“Oh yes,” Mrs. Evangeline said. “May I also have a loaf of the sourdough?”

“Absolutely,” Peeta said.

“Thank you Peeta, you always remember everything,” Mrs. Evangeline gushed.

“It’s no problem,” Peeta smiled but he saw Norma Jean’s impatience.

“So, when you are due?” Mrs. Evangeline asked Norma Jean.

“Any day now,” Norma Jean answered.

Peeta bagged the baguettes and the loaf of Sourdough. “Here you go.”

“Thank you,” Mrs. Evangeline. “How much?”

“Ten credits,” Peeta said.

Mrs. Evangeline took out her credits and paid Peeta. “Thank you and happy Thanksgiving to you and yours.”

“Thank you, you too.” Peeta waved as Mrs. Evangeline left.

“Finally,” Norma Jean exclaimed.

Peeta shrugged not wanting to give anything away.

“I thought she’d never leave,” Norma Jean huffed.   

He feigned innocence.

“Okay hot stuff, what happened? And don’t spare any details. I know Katniss has been coming here every Saturday for the past three years.”

Norma Jean wasn’t wrong. Katniss had been coming to the bakery every Saturday.  She’d knock on his door precisely at nine in the morning. They would talk and sometimes she’d linger to drink tea. Recently he began showing her some new recipe he’d been working on.

Peeta grabbed a cleanser and a squeegee and wiped down the counter.

“Uh-uh…none of those diversionary tactics!”

Peeta put his hands in the air.

“Go on, what happened?” Norma Jean fixed with him the mommy glare.

“We kissed,” Peeta whispered.

“What,” she screeched. “When?”

“Last week.”

“Okay, more!”

“Katniss came to the door, we traded, we drank tea. I introduced her to my newest creation. These cheese buns. And I saw that same sparkle in her eyes, as the night of the Fair. I do not exactly know how it happened. But we kissed.” How precisely their lips met Peeta was still fuzzy on that, but he did recall the desire and longing that shot through him like the fireworks that lit the sky at Thanksgiving. Her lips were soft and warm, and he marveled once more at the taste of wild berries, sweet and tart, crisp and delicious.   

“Good for you,” Norma Jean said. “Are you guys going to talk today, going to, you know, talk about getting together?”

“I hope so. I’ve waited so long for her to see me, and not just as a friend.”

“I’m so happy for you,” Norma Jean said. Her eyes looked past him above him at the clock, and she groaned, picking up her packages. “I’m late, I have to drop this off at your mother’s house.”

“Good luck,” Peeta grinned.

“Nothing to it,” she rubbed her expanded belly. “Your mother is always rainbows and hearts when I’m pregnant. She keeps on expecting a girl. Sadly, I keep on producing strong Mellark men, much to your father’s delight. He loves his grandchildren. But not as much as your brother loves to keep me fat and round.”

“Norma Jean, you’re not fat,” Peeta replied.

“And that’s why my wife prefers you over me.” Graham came into the shop with his twin boys, one in each arm. Their other child was wrapped around his ankle.

Norma Jean patted Peeta’s hand. “Graham is the grouchy one and Rye is the wild one and you, Peeta are the good Mellark. You’re the hot goods every girl in District Twelve wants to get her grubby hands on, but only one can have.”

“Please don’t call my baby brother hot in front of me,” Graham whined.

Norma Jean grinned wickedly. “Sorry Graham we both know that even Rye with all of his wild ways isn’t as hot as Peeta.”

“Evil woman,” Graham said, handing one of his boys to Peeta.

“Hey buddy!” Peeta grabbed Malcom and tossed him in the air. 

“Uncle Peeta,” his twin brother Marvin shouted. “Me, I’m next.”

Martin who was wrapped around Graham’s ankle popped up, “Me too, me too.”

Peeta loved his nephews.

“Boys,” Norma Jean said with that firm mommy voice they listened to.

“Yes mama?” All boys said with rapt attention.

“Your uncle is working. He will wrestle with you tomorrow,” Norma Jean said.  

All three boys nodded their pale blue eyes wide with excitement.

“Here’s a cookie for each of you,” Peeta said, taking three plain cookies out. Norma and Graham were careful about the sugar the kids ate. “Why don’t you guys sit at the table and eat the cookies?”

All three of them scampered to the table and sat, eating.

“So if uncle Peeta comes over then maybe mommy and me can…”

“Nope,” Norma Jean said. “Peeta and mommy have serious girl stuff going on.”

“Seriously,” Graham settled his eyes on Peeta. “What the heck? What kind of pull do you have over the ladies?”

“I told you Peeta’s the hot one,” Norma Jean winked. But then placed a playful kiss on Graham’s lips.

Graham stared lovingly into Norma Jean’s eyes then turned to Peeta and playfully growled, “She’s mine, all mine.”

“I know,” Peeta shrugged. “Besides, she’s not my type.”

“I’m not,” Norma Jean said. Then she stood on tiptoe to place a small kiss on Graham’s chin. “If we leave the kids today at grampa’s, maybe we can have a private chat about my candy shop, after we close at noon?”

“Oh,” Graham said, his voice brightening.  

Peeta was grossed out by the innuendo.

“Okay, Mellark Clan, march out,” Graham said. “We’re going to grandpa’s.”

The store emptied of his brother’s family, but then the customers came in filling the store for two solid hours. As the time neared 9 o’clock, Peeta started whistling.

Nothing could get him down.  

He had the tea prepared, he had cream, and plenty of sugar. Peeta grimaced. How Katniss could drink her tea that way, he didn’t know, but Katniss loved her tea with loads of cream and sugar. He whistled as he wiped down the display cases.

He looked at the clock, 9 o’clock. His gut twisted, anticipating her soft knock. But it didn’t come. He put his cloth away and walked to the back door.

He opened the door looking to see if he could spot her trademark bag or braided hair. He worried something was wrong. Katniss wouldn’t have stayed away. He knew kissing her could have been a mistake and maybe she was regretting the kiss. Peeta shook his head. This was different. Something felt off and he didn’t know what it was. He couldn’t put his finger on it either.

Peeta looked at the clock, she was fifteen minutes late. Katniss was never late; she was alway punctual. He was truly worried, maybe she’d gotten into another argument with her mother over her single status. Mrs. Everdeen was dogged in her search for a husband for Katniss. All of the men Mrs. Everdeen picked for Katniss were strong minded individuals. Men who liked to be in charge. Peeta chuckled, Katniss didn’t need a domineering guy. Anyone with her same fire would cause them both to combust. 

These four years Peeta had gotten to know Katniss, and from what he gleaned she  needed someone who treated her as equal or someone to balance her fire. Someone who understood the value of partnership. Peeta hoped he was that man for her. 

He once more looked at the clock and another five minutes went by. Foreboding crept inside of his being, causing the hairs of his neck to stand on end. The last time he felt that was right before the fire. Something was wrong. 

“Where are you, Kat?” Peeta asked. He had half a mind to close the shop and walk to her home in the Seam. 

The bell to the front door rang. He sighed then went to the front. Though his mind was made up, he was going to close up shop and head to the Seam as soon as he finished with the patron waiting for him.  

“Dad?”

“Son,” his father glanced at him and there was concern in his eyes.

His father hardly came to the bakery now that he had retired. His parents moved to a house just outside the central market. His father enjoyed gardening and canning. He enjoyed his little group of other gardeners. His mother didn’t like the sedate life but she didn’t really have much of a say.

“What’s going on dad?”

“I came to check on you,” his father searched his eyes.

“Dad, you’re acting weird,” Peeta said, frowning. 

His father was uneasy, his feet shifted, his hands were buried deep in his pocket, and there was something about the way that his dad looked at him reminded Peeta of the day that his dad sat him down and talked about what it meant to be the third son of a baker. It was one of the hardest conversations they’d ever had. Peeta loved the bakery, loved the smell of yeast, and yes even though he didn’t like the heat, he loved the smell of the hot ovens. There was something immensely enjoyable about seeing the awe and wonder in a customer’s face when he delivered a cake for a special occasion. 

He hoped one day to see that same awe and wonder in Katniss’ face, if he could only find her talk to her.

His father cleared his throat.

“What is it dad?” Peeta said, walking to the shop door and flipping the sign from open to close. He closed the door. Peeta squared his shoulders waiting for whatever news his father had for him.

“Son,” his father drifted off. He closed his eyes then said, “…it’s about Katniss…”

“What about Katniss,” Peeta couldn’t believe how calm his voice was. He should have been freaking out. His father knew how important Katniss was to him, though he didn’t know the extent of their friendship.

“She’s been arrested.”

That feeling in his gut that told him Katniss wasn’t okay, caused Peeta’s senses to sharpen. He needed to help her get out of trouble. He stalked to the cash register as if it was his mortal enemy, opening the drawer he took out all of the credits and emptied it into a bag. “I’m going to Darius; what’s her bail?”

 “She was caught last night in the middle of the night, with squirrels, poaching.”

Peeta’s heart stopped beating. She’d been hunting for him. At least now he knew Katniss wasn’t running from him. His mind quickly formulated a plan. He walked to the back and put his coat on. As he walked, he talked, “Fine I can talk to Haymitch, tell him why.”

“Son,” his father’s grave voice let Peeta know there was more. His father put his hands on his shoulder. Peeta was still. He didn’t want to know more but he knew he needed to listen. “Her mother.”

“What has she done now?” Peeta didn’t wait; he shook his head. “No, I need to see Haymitch.” Peeta ran out of the back door and speedily ran to the Justice Building. He tore up the stairs taking them two at a time. She’d spent the night in jail.

He didn’t even bother talking to Haymitch’s assistant Anna.

“Mr. Mellark, you can’t go in there,” Anna stood.

Peeta had never been uncourteous to anyone. He was always kind, always aware of other’s feelings. It’s why his mother thought him soft, but he wasn’t really. Not when it came to Katniss. He loved her, and for Katniss he would give up his life.

“Anna,” Peeta growled, and her eyes opened wide as if she’d encountered a feral beast in the meadow.

She stepped to the side.

Peeta barged right through into Haymitch’s office. The last time he’d been here he was eighteen. Desperate to help Katniss. He wasn’t a kid anymore; he was a man, a man who was willing to move heaven and earth for the woman he loved.

Haymitch had a drink on his desk, and an opened bottle. Another was tossed into the waste paper basket. His office smelled of malt whisky and white liquor. Peeta hadn’t seen Haymitch drunk in years. Not since he was fifteen.  His eyes swept the room and he noted Haymitch was not alone.

Mrs. Everdeen and her sister Primrose stood in a corner. Mrs. Everdeen looked surprised to see him. Her pale blue eyes were like stones in a river, hard and cold. Her sister Primrose stood away from her mother. Her arms clamped around her middle. Her eyes were red rimmed and her nose was bright red. The rest of her, her face, hands, and legs looked pale, ashen really.

“I was wondering how long it would take you to get here,” Haymitch rasped gruffly.

“Where’s Katniss?” he demanded.

“Boy, sit, have a drink,” Haymitch said, pointing to the two chairs in front of his desk.

“No, where’s Katniss and how much to bail her out?”

Haymitch rubbed his face. “When I took this job on I did it because I knew that the people didn’t trust Cray or any Head Peacekeepers to make the laws just. I set up this position for each district so that they could have one of their own to make decisions on their cases. I specifically set it up with loopholes so that no party could have the ultimate power over the other.”

Haymitch gave Mrs. Everdeen a scathing look.

Mrs. Everdeen lifted her nose. “I only did what was right. She was poaching.” Her voice was filled with indignation, as if she couldn’t understand why she was being reprimanded.   

“Eudora, what you did was send an innocent girl into hell because of your stupid pride. You’re no better than the folks that tossed you out into the street when you chose to marry Jack,” Haymitch barked.

Peeta noted how Eudora blinked and her eyes flickered with momentary pain before they went back to that cool indifference. Katniss had a similar look, but unlike Mrs. Everdeen’s which held no personality depth, Katniss’ look always showed a small bit of vulnerability, compassion, fiery resistance and some trace of emotion. Peeta could spend a lifetime examining Katniss’ smallest gestures.

“What happened, Haymitch, where’s Katniss?”

“I don’t see why he should be here,” Eudora said coolly.

“He has every right to be here,” Haymitch said, standing up. “That boy is the one fella your daughter loves.”  

Eudora’s eyes widened with shock and she looked at Peeta, really looked at him as if seeing him for the first time. She shook her head, “No, not him, she doesn’t love him. She doesn’t even know him.”

“She does, mama,” Primrose said.

“Katniss was caught poaching for me,” Peeta said quietly. “Every Saturday she comes to my shop and we trade, and talk…” Peeta looked at Haymitch, “Where is she? I need to see her?”

Her mother suddenly looked pale.

“Eudora tipped Darius about Katniss poaching on Fridays late in the evening. I guess she thought Darius wasn’t going to do anything and filed a complaint to Panem’s Bureau of Justice. It got to Crane; that bastard ordered me to hand her over for justice.”

“No,” Peeta roared. He stood up, his eyes landing on Mrs. Everdeen. Prim stood at his side.

“No,” Prim said quietly.

His hands were stretched out resting on Mrs. Everdeen’s neck.

“Boy,” Haymitch ordered.

Mrs. Everdeen’s eyes were wider than saucers. Her body trembled underneath his fingers. There were horror stories about landing in the clutches of Seneca Crane. “Do you realize Katniss can be killed because she was bringing me squirrels.” His voice cracked. Tears stung his eyes. He let go of Mrs. Everdeen and sat in the chair.

“Momma, you’d done wrong.”

“Primrose, I wasn’t going to let her stop you from marrying. I wasn’t going to let her…”

“MOMMA!” Primrose squeaked.

Mrs. Everdeen became quiet.

“If you bothered to get to know Katniss, you would know that she would never stop me from getting married if that’s what I wanted. You would know that all Katniss wants is for me to be happy. Yes, I got mad at her for walking in on me and Vick.” Prim stopped, wiping the tears from her face. “But I know she did it because she loves me and she did not want me to foolishly get pregnant.” Prim squared her shoulders.

Peeta raised an eyebrow; he’d never seen this side to Katniss’ sister. Prim was a sweet girl, innocent, loving and caring. The girl before him had grit and integrity, something she learned from Katniss. Prim leveled a look at her mother before turning to look at Peeta.

“Yesterday she said she knew what it was like to get carried away in the arms of a man that loved you so much it hurt. She knew what it was like to give into pleasure so deep without thought of the future. She told me she didn’t want me to go through the worry of a pregnancy scare.”

Peeta’s hands gripped the arm of the chair he sat in. Katniss thought she was pregnant. He could just imagine her terror. He thought she’d been avoiding him because of the fire; he didn’t know it was because she didn’t know if they’d made a baby together. Katniss was right to be scared. They weren’t ready back then. He had no future and she still had her sister to rear. He looked up to Prim and nodded acknowledging her words.

“You and Katniss,” her mother sounded brittle.

“No Momma, don’t redirect; look at me,” Prim ordered.

Mrs. Everdeen looked at her youngest daughter.

“If you would have taken the time to get to know your eldest daughter, you’d know she sacrificed herself for me.  I made her promise me that after I graduated that she would follow her dreams. Katniss promised me,” Prim looked at Peeta. “She’d promised me she’d talk to you, Peeta.”

“I,” Mrs. Everdeen said.

“Katniss helped me, after I graduate, I was going to go to District 3. Dr. Jensen helped me get into an accelerated course in medicine. Everything is set up.” Prim’s voice sounded watery, she had tears running down her face. “Now I can’t go knowing my sister is in the hands of that butcher.”

Mrs. Everdeen flinched.  

Peeta stood and gently held Prim in his arms as she cried. “I don’t understand how you could do this to Katniss. I don’t understand how you could betray her when all she’s ever done is to put food on your table and keep a roof over your head. She is the most selfless person. The most loyal. All Katniss has ever done is tried to protect her family, yet you betrayed her.”

“I did it for her own good. I didn’t betray her.” Mrs. Everdeen stood straighter. “This new regime, it may not last forever. There are men like Seneca Crane out there who are vying for power. What if one of them becomes president and then we end up worse? Katniss is a foolish child. I had to do what I thought was best for Katniss, and taking away her ability to hunt was the only way I could think of to get her to think…to see how dangerous this world was.”

“What you did was feed her to the wolves,” Peeta spat. “They called my mother the witch, but you lady, you are a cold hearted bitch.”

Mrs. Everdeen’s eyes became colder. “Primrose we are leaving.”

“No momma,” Prim said, shaking her head. “I’m not going back to that house. I’m gonna to do everything in my power for my sister.” 

“How long?” Peeta asked Haymich.

“A year,” Haymitch sighed. He looked tired and drained as he spoke, “Maybe less for good behavior.”  

“Where?” Peeta asked.

“District Two.”

Hope bloomed in Peeta’s chest. “My brother is in District 2, maybe he can watch out for Katniss, keep an eye on her, and make sure nothing happens to her.”

“You think Rye would do that?”

“Yeah, he would,” Peeta said. Then he turned to Haymitch and  asked, “What happens when… if she gets out for good behavior?”

“If Crane’s people let her go for good behavior, and I doubt it’ll happen, Katniss will be paroled and required to work the rest of her sentence.”

“I want her assigned to me. She can work off the rest of her parole in my bakery. She can live under my roof and I can take care of her.”

“Okay I can do that.” Haymitch sat down at his desk. He pushed the bottle and the glass into the waste paper basket. He took out a form.

“Wait, what’s going on,” Mrs. Everdeen said.

“There’s no way I’m going to give up on Katniss. When she gets out of there she’s going to need a home, a place where she can be safe, and know that she’s wanted and loved.”

“What will your mother say?”

“My mother has no decision in the bakery or how it’s run. The bakery became mine last year when my father and Rye signed it over to me. Believe me, I’m going to make a Katniss campaign and when she comes back everyone in town will welcome her with open arms.”

“Haymitch,” Prim said, stepping out of Peeta’s arms. She sat in the chair facing his desk. “You said Seneca might not let her be released for good behavior. Does that mean he will make sure that she serves out her full sentence?’

“Yes, that rat bastard makes all of his victims pay.” Haymitch set the paperwork aside. His eyes though, were churning as if he was working on a puzzle.

“Then how can we make sure, or what can we do to make certain Crane has to shorten my sister’s sentence?” Prim asked on the edge of her chair. 

“What are you thinking about?” Peeta asked, sitting down in the empty chair. 

Haymitch opened his drawer and pulled out a slim electronic device. Because District 12 was the outlying district, and it was the poorest one, it dealt mostly with papers. However, there were things that needed to be done with the fancy electronics that the Capitol favored. 

Peeta had a computer at the bakery, it was one of the first things he splurged on. It helped him maintain his accounting and supplies. It also was a way for him to get incontact with his brother in District Two.

“This is a computer, and it contains all of the bylaws of Panem. When we set up the justice system, I wanted to make sure there was a catch. Our newly appointed President Paylor helped come up with this. I had forgotten about it until this moment, Prim.”

“What is it?” Prim asked, voicing what Peeta was asking himself.

“Ha!” Haymitch said triumphantly. “There is a clause in the law that stipulates that family members can step in and volunteer for family in case they unjustly fall into the hands of Panem’s Bureau of Justice. Your sister was caught with two squirrels at the time she was caught poaching. Now poaching is a serious offense. But squirrel hunting is completely legal. In fact it just happens to be hunting season for the little critters.”

“So in reality all Katniss did was get caught crossing the fence,” Peeta said.

“And that is a lesser offence than poaching.” Haymitch turned to Primrose. “Which means that her conviction is unjust and a family member can volunteer to work some of her time off here in the district. If someone volunteers, Katniss’ hard labor sentence will be cut in half, but she’ll still have to be paroled.”

“Six months of labor?” Prim whispered, before looking to Haymitch and asking. “Will I be able to finish school?”

“I don’t see why not, we just need someone to take you in for six months for you to work for them for free.”

“No,” Mrs. Everdeen said.

“I’m seventeen Momma, well past the age of consent in Panem,” Prim said.

“I forbade you,” Mrs. Everdeen said, stomping her foot.

“Haymitch, I volunteer for my sister. I volunteer to work off of her debt.”

“YOU CAN’T!” 

Prim turned to her mother. “This is all your doing Momma, if you’d let Katniss alone, she’d be with Peeta now talking about the future. Talking to the man she loved about a toasting, children, everything she denied herself for a long time. But you wanted to punish her. You wanted to punish her for looking like Papa, for being his daughter. For always doing the right thing even if it meant going against your archaic wishes. Now you will take the punishment the way I am sure Katniss took hers, with dignity.” Turning to Haymitch Prim said, “Where do I sign?”

Mrs. Everdeen cried, and ran out of the room.

Peeta turned to Prim. “Will she be alright?”

“No,” Prim said. “But Katniss was right; our mother is selfish. I didn’t see it until now. She thinks what she did is justified, that she did the right thing. But she didn’t and now it’s up to us to save Katniss.”

“You’re a lot like her,” Peeta said.

“Thank you, that’s the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me,” Prim said.

“I think we need to get my sister-in-law,” Peeta said to Haymitch.

“Norma Jean,” Haymitch said.

My sister-in-law is pregnant with her fourth child. She said she is ready to give birth any time. Anyways, her sister Virginia’s getting married in a month to Jason Swanson, the railroad engineer’s son. Once she gets married, she’s going to work full time there, which means my brother will be alone in the store. They’re going to need help, and I know Norma Jean would never treat you poorly. She’s the only one I trust to help out. My brother Graham will pretty much do anything Norma Jean says.”

“Anne,” Haymitch barked.

Anne walked in, “Yes, Mr. Abernathy?”

“Go have one of Darius’ do-gooders get Peeta’s brother and sister-in-law here,” Haymitch grabbed another piece of paper. “We’re going to save Sweetheart’s butt.”

Peeta sat back, but he knew the battle was far from over. That night he called his brother. His brother was like him, but his features weren’t as soft. His face was angular, and his blonde hair was darker and it was curlier, though you couldn’t tell since he was sporting a buzz cut.

“Hey Peeta,”

“Rye I need…”

“Don’t I know. I heard about Katniss. It’s all everyone is talking about. The girl whose mother betrayed her for you. I’m kind of a celebrity now.”  

“You saw her?”

“No, she’s been put deep in the tunnels. The star squad is so deep they don’t surface for months at a time. Communication down there is only done when necessary.”

“Will you keep me apprised if you do see her, take care of her for me?” Peeta asked.

Rye nodded then he said, “Did Graham really say yes to Primrose staying with him?”

“Yeah,” Peeta smiled ruefully. He was tired and he wished he could have done more.

“Huh, was it Norma Jean?”

“No, he volunteered when he heard what happened to Katniss, before I could even ask.”

“Really, I guess he’s not like mom.”

“Nope, if he were like mom he would have married Esme Smith.”

Rye laughed. “I forgot about Esme; man you know she popped my cherry.”

“Rye, really, I don’t need to know your escapades,” Peeta joked but it didn’t reach his eyes. Rye was trying to make him feel better, but it wasn’t working.

“Look Peeta, I know Katniss is your girl, and I promise, in fact all of the guys in my squad, in all of the squads know how special she is, they told me if they’ll take care of her.”

“Except for the guys working under Crane,” Peeta muttered. He closed his eyes. He wanted to punch the wall, wanted to scream.

“Just hang in there, Katniss is strong, she’s tough. For any girl of twelve to brave the forest and hunt animals with the threat of predatory beasts to put food on the table, that takes bigger balls than I have.”

“Thanks Rye,” Peeta whispered.

“I’ve got to go, but maybe the next time tell Graham that what he did for Prim was great.”

“I will.”

The communication went off. Peeta sighed and leaned back. He looked up at the darkened sky just beyond his bedroom window. “Hang in there Katniss. Please hang in there,” he whispered brokenly.

A lot of things could happen in six months. Katniss could be beaten mercilessly. She could be raped by one of the prisoners or even by a sadistic guard. She could catch a disease and die. The fear he’d been fighting threaded through him and for the first time in all of his life he was unsure of the future. Sleep was not an option for him tonight and he couldn’t celebrate Thanksgiving tomorrow. Not with the love of his life in some hellhole beneath the earth.

Getting up, he began to clean and sometime around midnight he decided to make bread for the children tomorrow; that would keep his mind occupied. The next six months were going to be the hardest of his life.

[thatcomesandstaysfire]

So I know I missed the Catching Fire rewatch (and The Hunger Games rewatch...oops) but I finally have a chance to sit down and watch CF. I’m just gonna put every little thing that pops into my head here...sorry in advance

- That depiction of her ptsd? *chef kiss* 

- It’s kind of dumb that they set that first Gale kiss inside the fence. I just remember my reaction reading when Snow said he knew about the kiss that took place outside the fence. Like, oh shit how much do they know? Is there anywhere that is safe?!

- Haymitch would be good at baseball

- Peeta’s Glow-up yall! Too bad they put him in some of the stupidest outfits

- Donald Sutherland and Jennifer Lawrence are soooo good in the office scene

- I kinda wish they included her mom drawing her bath and adding the dried flowers. 

Peeta: That was nice acting

Katniss: You too

Peeta: bruh

- when that peacekeeper realized the door was open

- seriously what is that sweater, peeta?

- oo yay their favorite colors

- its scenes like ^ this one, or any direct quotes really, that make me disconnect a bit because Jen (especially) and Josh are NOT Katniss and Peeta for me. Idk dude

- district eleven guts me. so well done! and when Haymitch hugs and katniss, and says it will be alright, but all she can see is the older man’s corpse being carried away!! perfectly sets up how helpless and dangerous it all is. 

- “Will you stay with me?” “always” still a little salty we didn’t get this scene after the tour when she injures her foot, and we get the “I didn’t quite catch it.” The pay-off from that in Mockingjay made me flip, it hurt so bad. 

- Honestly still salty about how many Everlark they cut. 

- “Everyone wears [their hair] like this now, Grandpa” Do you think the did this to deliberately call out crazed (superficial) fans by saying they’re just like the capitol. We’ll wear your hairstyle and obsess over your love story while ignoring the real message. 

- Caesars FACE during the proposal! Stanley Tucci was excellent casting

- ooo gales grumpy

- Cant get over that random capitol extra that touches Jen’s shoulder during the party at Snows mansion

- “All mahogany” brilliant

- I wish they’d kept peeta’s original line from the books when they’re told about the liquid that makes you puke. “You go along, thinking you can deal with it, thinking maybe they’re not so bad, and then you-” which leads to the “maybe we were wrong, katniss” It’s such an important moment! But in the movie, Peeta’s line “there are people starving and twelve and here..” doesn’t have the same revelation or same rebelliousness too it.

- Phillip Seymour Hoffman does a great job, but the whole characterization of Plutarch in the movies is way off for me. 

- This movie is really dropping in a bunch of small pieces of fan service that were lacking from the first one. The Hob gets mentioned, and now we see Ripper. Not like only-movie viewers will get that. 

- I wish we had Peeta protecting Katniss from seeing Gales whipping like in the books. Peeta’s kindness and self-less love for Katniss are perfectly communicated through that entire event, and in the movie, we only really get a glimpse. 

- I HATE that they made Ms. Everdeen basically incapable of healing and had Prim take over. I get it, Prim is underdeveloped but you don’t need to take away one of the few things Katniss admires about her mother in order to make Prim more likable

- aw puppy dog peeta 

- oof I am not a fan of Willow Shields acting. It’s so flat. 

Katniss: What do you see

Prim: o_o hope 

- I will never not be mad at haymitch for the “thousand lifetimes” line

- Ugh! I know that gale kiss before the reaping was supposed to communicate (I guess?) that Katniss chose gale and shes saying goodbye or whatever, but ugh i hate it. It is unnecessary

- That one slip of paper in the bowl still kills me. I remember people laughing in the theaters. 

- aw effies face

Prim: o_o Katniss! Katniss

- white t-shirt, black jacket peeta. unf he looks like a greaser. One of the few good outfits they put him in.  

- Sugar cube scene - FLAWLESS. I love Sam Claflin

- Jena Malone is exactly how I pictured johanna

- Also “Katniss’” reaction to Peeta agree to unzip, hilarious, but that is all Jen. 

- Wiress, Beetee, and Mags are also really good casting 

- PEETA WHAT ARE THOSE PANTS?? (you all know they ones I’m talking about)

- The Rue painting? the Seneca beard on the dummy? the bow? Excellent 

- “If it wasn’t for the baby”..... then that smirk! Then haymitch’s lil cheers! its soo good. Also josh’s little trot up the stairs in his little white boots? hilarious.

- Haymtich’s nipples...that is all

- “remember who the real enemy is” 

- Pissed we didn’t get an everlark quick during the breif “see you soon” scene before the quell

Snow: Look at them holding hands. I want them dead

Plutarch: Be Patient

Snow: bitch what did you say to me

- NOOO CINNAAA

- Goddamn that entrance into the arena! the way its shot is so disorienting and overwhelming. Well done Francis. 

- Peeta’s got a kill under belt folks! 

- “Gods it’s hot” yes you are

- Finnick you cheeky bastard

- What i wouldn’t give to be Finnicks elderly backpack

- That snotty kiss after the force field. Katniss trembling. Finnick’s look of realization. I do wish they included the line about “It’s probably her hormones” though. 

- Its a SPILE!!!

- the gasping, moaning and groaning when they’re drinking water/when they’re treating their boils from the fog--- so suggestive, i can’t 

- Peeta ended quite a few monkeys, how can yall say he’s weak

- Peeta easing the morphing while she dies is a very well done scene and it is shot beautifully, but it would’ve been so much better with the direct lines from the book. It's so much gentler and lovelier. 

- Where is the green ointment? Where are the childish shenanigans??

- Katniss and Wiress are CUTE!!

- missed out on yet another everlark moment after the cornucopia spins

- YYOO the jabberjay scene is so intense! And peeta pushing his head against the force field, look so helpless to get to katniss breaks my little heart 

- BEACH SCENE!!!!

- Lol plutarchs little “make yourself comfortable” while we know he’s off to his hovercraft. 

- See you at midnight----So that was a lie 

- Just a comment but Jen’s hair in every scene in the arena looks so good. 

- “REMEMBER WHO THE REAL ENEMY IS” she’s got it folks

- Snow is STUNNED 

- Jesus motif - katniss is legit T-posing in the hovercraft claw

- the scene katniss attacks haymitch and then being subdued is perfection. THE DRAMA

- that extended closeup at the end, where we see the RANGE of emotions that crosses her face, i just, Jen is really talented. 

Verdict: Haymitch’s nipples 

But for real, CF is my favorite movie in the series. It’s not perfect, but as a movie ADAPTATION, it's pretty great. 

[violetosprey]

I was in a drawing mood, so I decided to draw my OC Gale after her redesign.  This is my personal tumblr so I can put it up if I want :P

Tried something different for fun.  Sketched with pencil, then penned, scanned as pdf to computer, then used PhotoShop Elements and my ref sheet to fill in the blanks.  Overall, I like how they came out.

Also I guess the chibi version I drew counts as the first time I drew her full-scale (feels like cheating since I can’t really do proportions right sooo went with a style where proportions are kind of skewed to begin with :P)

Also decided on her full name: Gale Fairway

I went with a name combination that doesn’t pop up in google search that’s both a plain sounding and unique last name.

Since she’s the OC I use for TDDUP with Marcus, I’m gonna jot some more notes down below for writing/character development practice.  You can ignore.

This is more notes than writing and actual story here.  These notes may be changed or rewritten later if I think of something more appealing.

Initially meeting Marcus/ First Impressions

Gale met Marcus in a bar.  She was probably there with a friend chatting.  Her friend headed off to the bathroom and a guy came over (very drunk) and tries to hit on Gale.  He’s aggressive and/or unpleasant and she had a hard time getting him to leave her alone.  Marcus cut in and got the guy to back off.  He was a police officer at time, but just off duty.  Probably flashed his badge to help get the guy to go away.  Gale thanked him and Marcus offered to get her a drink.  She politely declined and said she’d be leaving soon with her friend.

Marcus headed off to another end of the bar when Gale’s friend came back.  Gale told her what happened.  They chatted some more and her friend noted that Marcus was looking over every now and then and teased Gale that she was possibly missing out on “having some fun with a cop.”  Gale was pretty inebriated at this point and admitted Marcus was hot, but figured she wasn’t up for a one-night stand that night.  She was not dating anyone at the time, but didn’t really feel like she needed to get laid whenever the opportunity struck.

Gale and her friend started heading out and Marcus came over when they were outside to chat for a bit.  Her friend hinted towards Gale one more time then had to take a phone call, leaving Gale and Marcus alone.  Marcus got a little more forward and flirty this time, and alcohol + hot dude + cop + saved her from a guy earlier = “Oh why not, it’s just one night” for Gale.

Gale let her friend (who was ecstatic) know she’d be heading out with Marcus.  Her friend left and Gale and Marcus chatted and did “other activities” that night *wiggles eyebrows*. (note: Not sure about location)

Fast forward to next morning.  Gale was a little groggy from last night, but Marcus and her woke up in bed together.  She tried to get up to get ready to leave, but Marcus kind of holds her back (in a safe, playful manner).  Basically started teasing and smooth talking to try to get her phone #.  She’s not up for the idea at first (kinda just thought it’d be a fling, and he said during the night he gets busy with work), but eventually she had other engagements to attend to, so she just gave in and quickly handed her number to him before she left.

Entering a relationship with Marcus

Funny enough, Marcus doesn’t call Gale for several days.  She figured he was probably just playing around when he asked for her number and then focused on his work.  She didn’t take it too much as a loss.

He did finally contact her though, and they met again over coffee.  They hook up again a few days later at night and then get back to their respective work.  This pattern repeats for awhile: lack of communication because of work (on both ends), meet up for hanging out or sex again, then back to work.  At this point in time, Marcus is not was not being overbearing.

Marcus wasn’t actually the type of person Gale would go for when looking for a boyfriend.  She tended to go for the more bookish types, maybe with a sense of humor (note: John from the game would actually be more of the type she’d usually date, meaning she tried something new with Marcus, and later went back to what she was comfortable with).

This happened enough though where they decided to actually start dating.  From here on, Marcus puts in a little more effort to start texting/calling Gale more frequently.  Gale found this sweet, especially because she knew how much of a workaholic he was.

Overtime, she noticed more sensitive sides of his personality as well (note: not sure if I want to make the “saved Munchie from a car engine” event before or after marriage- but Marcus should have shown SOME soft side prior to marriage).

Sex wise, Gale’s not actually the type that gets “adventurous,” but she started to open up a little more for Marcus (he could get a little “naughty”) since she really liked him.

Eventually, Gale would genuinely fall in love with Marcus and admitted to him after sex one night that she was a little afraid she wasn’t good enough for him.  After all, he was attractive, confident, and had a successful career.  (note: I have not decided on what Gale’s own career is at this point).

Marcus quickly held her and assured her he’d never leave her.

Extra Notes

So I’m doing this weird thing where Gale’s kind of getting developed “around” the relationship she has with Marcus.  Many of her personality traits aren’t fully fleshed out with me yet.  I’m seeing if it’s a little easier to come up with the story first and adjust her accordingly. 

There’s a of couple traits about Marcus that are considered canon (I think) that I want to keep the same: 1) he has dated people beforehand, 2) he’s a workaholic, 3) he’s a “dirty cop” when it comes to sex :P and 4) he never physically hurt the MC prior to the kidnapping.

What I’m going for I guess is a...”slow burn” turn into a yandere for Marcus?  The timeline I have no clue of honestly.  I kind want Gale to have been married to Marcus for at LEAST a year (maybe more).  For that to make sense though, I want to build it up to be believable why she was with him for so long.  Gale met a guy who wasn’t her usual type, but fell in love with him because of his softer moments and the way he paid so much attention to her.  Her own insecurity of losing Marcus at one point would be a key reason as to why she wouldn’t see certain warning signs early on.

She liked the attention he would give her at first.  And even as it increased gradually, she’d just see it as him making an effort because their jobs don’t always let them be together.  She gets a little blinded honestly by something “too good to be true.”

Now with Marcus I’ll be honest...I’m not EXACTLY sure in my head at what point he becomes a yandere.  I don’t know if I consider him to have fell in love at first sight, but he’s a master manipulator who takes it very slow to work his way into Gale’s life completely.  Or if he’s actually just a normal guy she’s dating at first because getting to know her more leads to him developing an obsession.  I THINK I’m leaning towards the second.  I say that because I kind of like the idea where Marcus has been with other people before without developing an obsession, and this would have just been another person he started to get along with and date, but it turns horrifying excessive later on.

It’s also too bad since I’m still fleshing out Gale, then I have no idea what Marcus likes about her :P 

Otherwise, the beginning sounds like a pretty standard story opener.  Nothing new or unusual.  My lack of story skills prevent me from thinking about all the events in sequence.  More so just key events and how the characters do or do not mesh together.

[italicwatches]

Sword Art Online Alternative: Gun Gale Online - Episode 05

I am full of food and have set some aside for a friend. It’s a bit late, but let’s do this. It’s Sword Art Online Alternative: Gun Gale Online, episode 05! Here we GO!

-We begin with the other team, prepping for their big final hunt and getting all excited about it…Also, incredibly hard to translate language puns.

-Meanwhile, M is having a real bad day. Like, really bad. Possibly his worst. And…Well, M insists that if he dies in the game, he’ll die for real.

-First, question. I’m not saying he’s lying yet, but what fucking idiot would thus enter into a PvP Battle Royale? If you’re trapped in the game, you keep your fucking ass in the starter town(hai, Kazuma desu) and farm low-level PvE mobs for enough credits to get by!

-Second, well I just found my screen cap and we’re only a minute in.

-Because LLENN calls bullshit, this isn’t SAO. …Now tell her what was on that letter, you dumb idiot. He hands it over without resistance, and it’s from Pito, of course, telling him…That if he survives an entire hour, she’ll be super impressed. But if he dies a cowardly death, or after the hour mark, she’ll totally kill him for real. …Dude, you can’t let Pito get into your fuckin’ head like that.

-BULLSHIT YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THAT WOMAN IS CAPABLE OF

-Opening!

-Sidenote, what the fuck was his plan if shooting LLENN in the head had worked? Take on the entire enemy team himself? She’s not a political enemy, you can’t trade her corpse for fucking safe haven.

-And we’re back. So, whatever the actual situation is, M is fully convinced that PIto will legit murder him in legit reality if he loses. Do you have any idea how obsessed she IS with the original SAO?! With the idea of death games, and of putting your life on the line?!

-And LLENN puts out the question I just wanted to know. And his plan? Kill her. Become team leader. Resign, which wouldn’t count at suicide by the strictest definition of Pito’s terms, and would kick him out right away so he could make a run for it.

-…You’re a fuckin’ idiot and you took her way too lightly, man. So here’s the actual factual plan. She’s gonna go shoot the other team full of red pixel dots. You’re gonna go hide somewhere. If she dies, you can bail out or whatever. Peace.

-And then she’s off, barely stopping long enough to retrieve her cool hat before she’s off like a rocket and putting together a battle plan…What’s her best tools? Simple, the core thing she’s been pouring XP into since day one. At least in terms of this Squad Jam, she’s the fastest woman alive! Run, LLENN, run!

-Meanwhile, M is trying to convince himself he wasn’t in the wrong here…And then with one last war cry, LLENN’s out of comm range.

-She’s moving at full force, sprinting over a dockside…And finds herself having just jumped into the enemy team! Behind cover, return fire! It’s a vicious high-speed duel with their forward scout, as she desperately tries to find LLENN…But gets out-played, taking vicious shots! LLENN gets glanced in the shoulder, but reloads far faster when the mags run dry, and blasts the gun right out of the other woman’s hands!

-She starts calling for reinforcements and goes for her sidearm…But it’s far too late, as she gets bisected with gunfire! The rest of her team arrives just in time to watch her collapse, and for LLENN to fucking book it behind some rocks when they pour it on! The heavy gunners are going full force…

-And the sniper tries to pin her down, but the wildly desperate LLENN somehow outruns them all, even as she tries to ignore that little bit of her lizard hindbrain that doesn’t realize this is just a game and FUCK FUCK FUCK THIS IS PRETTY LEGITIMATELY SCARY FOR HER

-Episode 05! “Leave the Last Battle to Me”

-While the other team make a point of taking their fallen comrade’s gear…They’re gonna get vengeance for you, and claim that gold, friend. Don’t you worry.

-Back with LLENN, she takes stock. Down to 70% HP. Only six mags left, and two plasma grenades, and a knife. Not a good set of odds. She’s running into the lion’s den here…

-But she remembers what Pito taught her. Never fire randomly or in desperation. If you can’t say with certainty where you’re aiming and why, then all you’re doing is giving away your location and fear to the enemy. Center, focus. Always act with intent.

-And LLENN starts to put her focus together. She can do this. She will do this. Deep breath, get moving. They’re gonna get eyes on her…

-And then two shots ring out. One in her back. One rips through her mag carrier. She stumbles, staggers, takes another shot as she falls down there side of the cliff, barely pulling through with about 30% of her HP left…The leader starts pushing the rest of her team to herd her in…

-As LLENN realizes she fell for a fucking trap. They used their Bullet Lines to draw her in! But she can still move. She can still run. Everything hurts, but if she can get from cover to cover…

-She’s got multiple sharpshooters on her…And when they pin her down, the big guns come out! LLENN is stuck, pinned, and desperate…

-When she gets a plan. She throws a grenade just over the rock, starts counting…And the instant it goes off, she sprints, letting the ball of plasma catch their fire and block her escape! MOVE! FUCKING MOVE!

-The other team…Well, she’s earning their respect. Pulling shit like this solo? Little rabbit’s good.

-While LLENN manages to get out of the line of fire, and the pain’s starting to wear off. She can focus, and think…But that leaves her needing to think of a plan. Right now, she’s got a real problem. Her victories come from being up close and personal…

-That’s right, LLENN-chan! Wait, who’s…

-…LLENN.

-LLENN, sweetie.

-You need to log out.

-You’re hallucinating.

-Because I refuse to believe your gun is actually talking.

-Anyways, P-chan tells her to go forward, to use her speed to get in and god dammit why does P-chan have anime eyes. No you cannot meet senpai!

-At least LLENN has the smarts to realize she must be losing her mind.

-But eventually, the enemy team is hunting her down, and she’s chilling on a rock. Looking for her? They shoot…And she just fuckin’ dives away from it, before racing in! DAKKADAKKA, big gunner down! The sniper’s caught in too close, unable to get a solid shot in,, and instead gets lost to a plasma grenade!

-LLENN eats a glancing blow, ends up spiraling down with about 25%, and caught under two Bullet Lines with her gun out of reach…

-When a shot lances through the air, hitting a grenade on the other gunner’s belt! She’s lost in fire, and it’s down to the leader in the thick…

-While the last two members of the team, watching from afar, get eyed by sniper fire! M, is, back in the game! They’re on the run, but LLENN’s got this…

-As she races in against the leader!

-And eats a roundhouse kick to her tiny, vulnerable stomach that sends her into the far wall. Soooo that’s not great.

-Yeah, that hurts real bad. The leader pins her down hard, and puts round after round into her chest…But it doesn’t work?! HOW?! WHY WON’T YOU DIE?!

-She put the scanner in her breast pocket. The scanner is indestructible.

-It’s the frying pan of GGO.

-And that gives LLENN enough time to whip her head away from the next shot, for the leader’s mag to run dry! LLENN flings a P90 mag at her, forcing her to step back, giving our tiny pink devil enough space to just magdump!

-The leader ferociously grabs that P90, trying to rip it out of her hands, to snap it in half…You’re good, little one. Good enough to piss her off. What’s your name? LLENN. Yours? Eva. Everyone just calls her Boss.

-You ran dry, didn’t you.

-So did you.

-And then the other gunner arrives, the last one still armed! JUST FIRE, you fool! One of them has to survive, that’s all!

-But she hesitates. For a singular moment too long. Her machine-gun gets shot apart, and in a final play, she throws the boss her sidearm magazine!

-Eva whips her pistol up, catches it perfectly…And LLENN finds it to her head. But P-chan will protect her! Shot after shot echoes across the desert landscape…

-And when it’s over…LLENN still stands, with P-chan filled full of damage…It shatters in her hands, and, uh, guys?

-Guys?

-P-chan was her power limiter.

-So this is bad.

-Very bad. With a furious roar, she dives in with her knife, tearing Eva’s thighs open! Back and forth, cross cut that puts her on the ground, and then a vicious strike to the chest! LLENN eats a punch before she can land it, loses all but her last 1% of HP…

-But the knife went up. And she catches it with her free hand, diving it CLEAR THROUGH EVA’S NECK! Crimson neon sprays from the wound, she hits the ground in a heap…

-And LLENN almost eats a sniper round to the head from the last surviving member. But M draws her out by standing firm, and the two snipers cross counter with bullets. The enemy sniper drops…And then so does M.

-But then the fireworks go up! TEAM LM IS THE WINNER OF THIS FIRST SQUAD JAM!

-LLENN arrives to find M’s…Got his pack on backwards and it took the shot. You ridiculous man you scared her half to death. But that, is, the, game!

-This first ever Squad Jam lasted just shy of an hour and a half, and they fired 49,810 shots! Jesus. I wonder how many of those were out of P-chan.

-Credits!

-Aftercredits! The real world. When a tiny adorable schoolgirl comes up to Karen, because they noticed she got her hair cut short and it turns out this whole group always admire Karen when they see her walking by, thinking she’s so elegant and graceful like a model and this is the moment when we’re supposed to realize that this is Eva’s squad. Like, you see it, right?

-But, yeah. It’s an interesting thing, conflicting height complexes…But Karen managed to push herself forward. It might sound silly, but…The sheer wild desperation of a VR game, of fighting for her life again and again, was what locked it in for her. She realized she could endure.

-And indeed, one of them calls the head girl, Saki, Boss, and Karen doesn’t quite put it together yet, but she ends up making some adorable younger friends. …Gahhhh, it’s impossible.

-And then Saki comes up to shake her hand. For defeating the Boss, I now bestow upon you the rank of Big Boss. You’re a hell of a player, LLENN. She’s gonna totally kick your ass next time though, little rabbit. Bring it on, you amazon.

WHAT A FUCKING FIGHT THAT WAS, am I right? God damn! Constantly on the edge of the seat, taking LLENN down to her final most desperate tools! Oh that was delicious.

I cannot wait to see where things go from here. We’ll see next time, in episode….Well looks like 5.5, of SAO Alt: GGO! Wait for it!

[legalist217]

Grisha Trilogy: in defense of That Ending

My hottest take: the end of Ruin and Rising, while shocking in the moment, is fully consistent with the themes of the book and the Grisha Trilogy as a whole. Further, to feel as though Leigh Bardugo did not tell the story she meant to tell from the outset (for whatever reason, be it executive meddling or chickening out at the last minute) is doing her narrative a disservice at minimum and might at most be missing the point of the series.

This is the part where my good sis @alskaichou and I disagree to disagree and I accept that. Also this essay thing is by and large directed at Tara, and is just being written out longform for efficiency’s sake. So if you disagree with it, it’s not personal. (Unless you’re Tara. And even then, it’s not personal; I just… disagree… with you...) I’d also like it known that I’m only consulting the text, my own notes, and my own thoughts for this analysis... so if these end up being common Hot Takes, welp. 

Also, mass spoilers directly ahead.

To make sure there’s zero ambiguity in what I mean, I’m saying that both the part where Alina gets depowered and the part where Malina is endgame feel like they were intended right from the start, and to argue that the author intended otherwise may be missing a thematic point.

Okay, so, where do I get off with this flaming hot take? There are two keys, in my opinion: Alina’s narration, and the character of Ilya Morozova.

When I was recapping these books, I spent a lot of time bemoaning Alina’s lack of ambition. Here’s this girl with all this OPPORTUNITY, and yet she keeps going for the lowest-hanging fruits of dangerous power, and that’s when she’s even bothering. But… here’s the thing. I’ve been reflecting ever since reading the ending on what Alina was actually saying in her narration. And I realized something: I am pretty sure Alina wasn’t looking for power, or even opportunity.

The problem for Alina is that for most of the series, she’s faced with two extremes. She can smother her Grisha gift and be extremely weak even for an otkazat’sya, or she can accept her Sun Summoner status… which comes with a ton of prestige, prominence, and responsibilities she never asked to have. For her, the options are being a saltwife or being a queen. And Alina just wants to be normal. Just wants to be physically unhampered and able to pursue the life an otkazat’sya may have.

I realize that’s disappointing. It does tend to go against not only what we want from our protagonists (which is in fantasy often “start ordinary but end up extraordinary”), but even more specifically it goes against what we want from a YA protagonist, particularly a female one. We want role models. We want strong female protagonists. We want them to make the right choices. But therein may have lain a trap we set for ourselves.

When I was reading the first book, I fully expected Mal to be killed off within the first fifty pages. I then fully expected him to become the Gale to Alina’s Katniss--the childhood friend who isn’t extraordinary like the protagonist and just can’t keep up with the life she’s destined to lead. The books do lean into this, with the pair of them breaking up over the course of Siege and Storm due to him being unable to understand the person she’s become and resenting that she’s no longer the girl he grew up with, and by the middle of Ruin and Rising, both of them seem committed to a permanent separation so that Alina can be the best Alina she can be and Mal won’t hold her back. 

But... here’s the thing: the reason Mal wouldn’t be a good match for Alina is, by and large, rooted in societal factors which insist that otkazat’sya will never bother to understand Grisha, so trying to build a life together is foolish. I mean, set aside all the prestige that Alina gets for being this unique Sun Summoner, and even then, there’s this artificial divide which the Darkling smugly predicted would occur between them. But if that hadn’t been there, would Mal have been deeply in love with her and likely an unambiguously suited match?

According to the books? Yep. Mal has never had eyes for any girl that isn’t Alina, and that’s something that started even when they were still living at the orphanage, which he suppressed because, well hey, that’s his best friend, he can’t be like that towards her. And when Alina asks him the question I had, which was whether their bond had been falsely forged by the amplifier inside him, the two of them end up having a very sweet conversation about all the human reasons why they love each other regardless of that magnetic draw. 

Does Mal have some growing up to do? Oh, hell yes. But so does Alina. And like it or not (and I know where you are on this, mate), I think they’re a couple who have the foundation and moreover the willingness to grow together. To weather those shitty arguments and those periods of maturation. Because they both care deeply for one another, and they share common interests and goals in the endgame, which lend them a common purpose beyond twu wuv.

I haven’t forgotten all those other aspects of Alina and this ending which I brushed off--not just her powers, but her prestige. How can I so quickly go from “wtf is this ending” to “nah you know what I’m happy for them”?

Enter Ilya Morozova. Him and his obsessive, ultimate love of “ordinary” people, the characters that we readers on a meta level are somewhat trained to disregard and to hope our protagonist ascends well past. I agree with what Alina posits on (of all pages) pg 394; Morozova probably did expect the amplifiers to be united by a Grisha older than memories of memory. And that would be because it would mean they could rest at long last. 

More of this is coming into focus as I sit here and write. Of course Ilya Morozova never finished what he started. He wanted to. Baghra knew him well enough to get that right. But she didn’t understand his love of otkazat’sya, be it his wife or his daughter, even if she pays lip service to believing he felt it for them. She doesn’t understand that feeling her father had because she never felt anything of the sort for them, and why would she after all the persecution, after seeing her father and sister thrown into the sea? 

Baghra understood that he wanted to finish his project. What she failed to realize was that it was not about creating the amplifiers. It was about uniting them. And how could this man do that to his daughter, or her child, or her grandchild? How long before he took his life rather than contemplate this non-choice, I wonder?

Morozova wanted a world where he and his wife would understand each other, where his family would not be cast out by the village. Hence the amplifiers. Hence their ultimate effect. Baghra’s Grisha gift, if you think about it, almost feels like a Newton’s Third Law situation: the darkness brought into being to counteract the newly created light. Balance, as the Darkling would constantly harp on about. But balance is a regular diurnal cycle. Neither Fold nor weird merzost angels (which never happened, boo). I wonder whether any Sun Summoners will have Darkling children. Balance.

I’m veering off my intended track here: by uniting the amplifiers, Alina at once loses her gift and grants Sun Summoning to what’s described as being all the otkazat’sya in range. I don’t think that ended up eliminating the concept of otkazat’sya, unfortunately, but it does two things:

it levels the playing field and likely kicks open the door to Grisha becoming citizens (because how are otkazat’sya supposed to argue that they’re abominations or whatever when the gift can just randomly get flung onto you well past the standard age? actually don’t answer that im sure humans can find a way)

it sets Alina free

I feel like that second one is going to cause Objections, but refer to earlier when I mentioned she was trapped between the two extremes. Saltwife or queen. And while she’s spent three books psyching up to ascending some form of throne or another, she still... really doesn’t want it. And that? Matters. 

To throw down a kind of low blow here, I’m linking a post you enthusiastically reblogged about a young person who, when told they can be anything they want to be, confidently replies they want to be a secretary. Not a CEO, not a scientist, not a lawyer, not a doctor. A secretary.

Alina visibly misses several things over the course of this series. Occasionally it’s cartography. Often, it’s Mal. But mostly, and despite all the trauma that she endured there, she misses her childhood home at Keramzin. I didn’t realize until the ending just how many of her thoughts stray back to the Duke’s house, to lessons from Ana Kuya, to the grounds and the rooms. It may not have been particularly happy, but Alina’s childhood was important to her. And the fact that it wasn’t happy shapes her motivation as she looks to the future, once there’s a future to be had. 

Of course it isn’t something she ever considers in the series, but then again, when would she have had the opportunity to imagine taking over the orphanage? She was the weakest link in the regiment, then training to be the Most Important Grisha, then preparing for all-out war with the Most Dangerous Grisha, then preparing to be a Queen while maintaining appearances as a Saint. She wasn’t really allowed to have her own idea of her future at any point (that I can recall--my brain is still very fuzzy on book one), and the few times that she’s fleeing all these responsibilities, it’s to do nothing more specific than live with Mal, because to survive is all she dare dream of doing. 

Other people want her to be a queen. Including us readers, because it would be a satisfying end to her arc. But, at the end of it all, I think she really doesn’t want to be a queen. And if it weren’t for how the power is so intimately tied to her life force that not using it makes her sickly, I get the sense she would give up the Grisha gift as well. Of course she misses it once it’s gone, because using Grisha power feels good and encourages further use. It’s self-fulfilling. But it was something that kept her separated from her favorite person (because like it or not Mal sure is that for her), and that made her unhappy. 

Sure, we want stories that encourage girls to do what’s best for them and not just to settle for whatever gross man just because. But I think enough happens with Alina where settling down with Mal isn’t, in her case, “settling.” Girl had options. She also knew what made her happy. In the end? No accounting for taste.

[laura-j-c]

PROJECT PROPOSAL

This project is a continuation of my previous project that investigated my obsession for fantastical literature through escapism and the suburban landscape. The suburban landscape is still a foundational feature in this project because it is my environment, my dull, boring, mundane environment from which I try to escape. Mythology is also prominent content in my work, to me myths and legends are origins of the fantastical. My work is also metaphorical because I’m using fantasy as a metaphor to escape and the botanical objects I plan to use are physical metaphors for fantasy in my project.

I am developing three 30 second animations featuring fantastical succulent interruptions that interrupt the dull mundane of my domestic suburbia interior. This project will be an expansion of my previous project from last semester. For that project, I printed a series of black and white photos and then painted succulents interrupting the normal interior with gauche.

To continue my exploration concepts related to escapism via and the notion of escaping one’s reality and through an obsessive need for fantastical literature. I will concoct an experimental work featuring many elements of my previous works, these are black and white photos of my interior and the interrupting succulents which are fleshy, waxy, hardy, alien but still familiar. This is different from my previous work because instead of showing small snapshots of what I see I’m going to show how fantasy has filled my mind and heart and it’s still growing and overtaking everything. An important from my previous project was I was lacking a critical edge to my work, I aim to address that by having the succulents shrivel up and decay, and have it as a metaphor for moments in my life where I have been in dark places and didn’t think I’d ever claw out of there.

I will hand draw the growth stages of the succulents, then use photoshop to digitally draw multiple layers of images over black and white photos of my interior. The layers will then be animated using adobe premiere so the succulents slowly grow out and overtake the space in the photo. After they have grown the succulents will then shrivel up and decay so the image returns to the original black and white interior. The animation will then loop back to the start and repeat. I have also considered printing off the photos of my interior or stages of the animation as photographs with a white border and painting over them, as I did with my previous project, but I have not decided yet.

The reason I chose succulents is because they are a unique species of plant that look so strange but normal at the same time. To me, they are a small doorway into the fantastical through the mundane world. I’m also fond of them because they are very resilient and hard to kill, they can grow just about anywhere. It’s like my fantasy obsessiveness, no matter how much people tell me fairies, trolls and werewolves aren’t real it won’t kill my love or search for the fantastical. So, for this project I have invented succulent morphology, the study of the succulents’ exteriors.

In choosing a botanical form to be the shape of my fantastical interruptions because plants have a rich foundation for fantasy in which they have magical properties. This is seen in many fairy tales such as The Three Snake-Leaves by Brothers Grimm in which the leaves can return the dead to life (Race Point Publishing, 2013). In Norse mythology Yggdrasill is a magnificent tree that connects all nine realms together (Branston, 1978). Even the seeds contain the source for magic, in the Greek myth of Hades and Persephone he tricks his kidnapped bride into eating pomegranate seeds so even when she leaves the Underworld she will always return to him for a short span of the year (Larsen, 2016).

My work deals with my need for the fantastical and escaping from the dull and ordinary, of which I do through literature, film and pop culture such as Death Note, City of Bones, The Hunt, Dinotopia, Nora and so on. In constantly seeking out the preternatural, innocent, spiritual and harmonious way in everyday life. This project is a like a metaphor for my desire of fantasy. Over many years fantasy has taken root in my mind, growing and filling out all the space. There are moments in my life where events and circumstances have stifled that growth and withered it down to nothing but it always flourishes back to life, after lying dormant it sprouts and evolves, swelling into something just as big and beautiful as before.

As a Millennial, we are infamous for being very tech. savvy, rejection of traditional rites of passage into adulthood, and dependence on the internet. Author Sally Bibb accurately describes the aspects of Generation Y in her book Generation Y for Rookies (2014) which illustrates the qualities, personality traits, work ethics and circumstances that have shaped how Millennials have become the way they are; including disregard for hierarchy or authority, rejection of competitive conflict solving, perforation to collaboration, exposure to internet and technology, difficultly job finding (because of unwillingness to work the hours or finding a skill-appropriate position), creative and initiative, and more politically disengaged (Bibb, 2014). I agree with many of these claims but feel some are more subjective than others.

For example, I feel the disregard that is described by Bibbs, towards those in greater authority, it is seen and I know of many individuals in my generation that do lack in that respect. Bibb also mentions in her book the experiences that influenced my generation acts of global terrorism, marriages that result in higher rates of divorce and difficulty in saving money for houses and cars (Bibb, 2014). These events have left many Millennials with a longing to stay a child and never grow up or to escape from reality all together, the Peter Pan Generation.

My work is not unlike George Gessert’s practice as it is the study of botanical exteriors (morphology), the appearance of a plant, Snowy Donkey (2004) is an iris he crossbred and grew until it bloomed. If Gessert did not like the appearance of the flower, he would recycle it and start a new hybrid breed. However, our practices fall into distinctly different categories, he is bio artist specialising in plant hybridization and my practice falls into the interdisciplinary drawing. Vidya Gastaldon’s artwork Mini Christ in God Mother (2007) also has some similarities with my work. She has created her own fantasy world of abstract hippie and psychedelic aesthetics. Another artist who identifies with my work is Jake Fried, Night Vision (2015). He makes animations by continuously drawing over his drawings, scanning in-between each one, and turning them into minute long animations. Although his work is not explicitly fantasy, there are strong images that suggest fantasy and sci-fi. An artist I share many similarities with is Chris Ware. A common thread between his work and mine is the suburban landscape. In some of his comics’ conversations his characters really suffer from the dullness and repetitive routines of everyday life and longing for something new and exciting.

Until last week, I hadn’t given much consideration as to how I wanted to install my animations. I had planned to just project them onto the wall. But being introduced to Diana Thater’s practice has caused me to scrap that plan and consider different ways of installing my work.

  REFERENCE LIST

Bibb, Sally. 2014. Generation Y for Rookies. LID Publishing. ISBN:9780462099804

Race Point Publishing. 2013. “The Three Snake-Leaves” in The Complete Grimm’s Fairy Tales. Page, 60-62. New York, USA.

Branston, Brian. 1978. “Yggdrasill, the World Ash” in Gods & Heroes from Viking Mythology. Page, 31-36. New South Wales, Australia.

Larsen, Kristine. 2016. “The Lessons of Nature in Mythology” in Mythlore. Vol. 34, no. 2, 2016, p. 191+. Expanded Academic ASAP, go.galegroup.com/ps/i.do?p=EAIM&sw=w&u=griffith&v=2.1&id=GALE%7CA453915650&it=r&asid=4b72e4eea1cfef3007bbe6af0aa15518.

Gessert, George. Snowy Donkey. (2004). Iris seeds, soil, fertiliser, flower pot, water. Dimensions variable.

Gastaldon, Vidya. Mini Christ in God Mother. (2007). Watercolour, gouache, acrylic, coloured pencil and graphite on paper. 31 × 36 cm.

Fried, Jake. Night Vision. (2015). Ink and white-out. Duration: 1 minute.