#and let's just say i wish i had screencapped it

[jlf23tumble]

I read through your larry post and you mentioned the peace ring. Harry wore it last over a year ago in September and on the anniversary twitter larries were waiting for it to come back, they even wanted a harry london walk with him wearing it. That pap walk they would tolerate. When it didn't happen, they turned to louis. He had a show that day and wore a green shirt, olive green, olive like offering an olive branch, like asking for peace, bam peace ring was back! I cringed so hard when I read that but I used to be like that too so I couldn't even be mad. But then I started questioning my sanity and if everything else i believed about clues and messages larry was sending was wrong and made up. probably most of it. But then i think about the louis maison shirt on harrys house release day and I question it again. But I'm chill about all this. Maybe they broke up a long time ago or maybe they're on off, maybe still together, maybe in an open relationship. Whatever we'll never know so why stress about it. I think mostly on Tumblr everyone is more relaxed about it. It's the new larries who don't grasp any of this and think management is still controlling them and larry are blinking more code at us that are annoying as fuck.

anon 2: Not that anon, but thank you for your that brilliant long ask answer you just gave. I joined in this crazy H&L world only last January after I caught wind of the second E breakup and it really felt like "holy shit, there might really be something here, they really might be about to come out, etc." It's been an interesting time so far in the fandom, and I think I'm more in line with your way of thinking recently. Things just feel...meh. There's a weird coldness to the fandom right now, almost a forced belief like you mentioned in your previous answer. I'll always believe there was SOMETHING going on, but to this current day? Probably not. Thanks for your sanity. :)

-----

Amazed anyone read that long-ass answer, lmao, but thank you! As for thinking people on tumblr are somehow more relaxed about it, beg to differ, anon 1, based on a quick lurk just this sec, but kudos to you for keeping that dash locked down! Without much going on at the moment, it's quiet in the deep, so to speak, but make no mistake, it's out there, waiting! Even today, there are people out there saying, ooooh, tons of larry signs at Louis's show near the stage, and you could see how happy he was compared to last night!! Like, it's some kind of GOTCHA, ipso facto, and uh, yeah, that's not cause/effect, bb, but okay! Spread that shit! Live your version of the truth! For real, you can make ANYTHING a reach if you have the arm capacity for it, give me two pieces of something, and I'll stitch it for you, whole cloth, there's a 28 in it, I just know it. It's always so tempting to whip up a sideblog that goes full hog unhinged, like, jesus, it's not hard, lmao

[helluva-bored-critical]

A Quick Review Of Helluva Shorts #4: Chupacabras

Hey everyone, helluva bored critical here to give a review of the newest HB short; CHUPACABRAS. I'll do my best to cover the plot, the goods and the bads, and to give my two cents.

First off, the composition of the title card is a bit awkward; the flashy text of "CHUPACABRAS" reminiscent of Mexican culture clash with the duller tones of the background, making it less appealing. If a different screencap was chosen, such as this:

I think the text would've fit better.

However, the plot premise is pretty good, let me talk about that if you haven't seen it yet; I.M.P. head out to kill a client, but they're surrounded by a hoard of goats and they try to clear 'em out. The client, Gerardo, wakes due to the ruckus, and Blitz is captured and mistaken for a chupacabra.

Note: the folklore of the chupacabra originates from Puerto Rico, though sightings of it have spread to Mexico and other parts of Latin America. Mexicans do know about chupacabra, but it's commonly misinterpreted as being of Mexican origin.

In Mexico, if I'm not mistaken, the chupacabra looks similar to a mangy coyote. Blitz is wearing more goat-like rags, which isn't entirely accurate.

Anyways, Gerardo has taken Blitz's gun and crystal, so he's unable to break out of his sitch.

The D.H.O.R.K.S., getting word of a "chupacabra" in Tijuana, head to Gerardo's display, where he's chargin' 100 pesos per view. The agent duo gets into a funny squabble about payment, and the tiny black goat that you see in the image above, meanwhile, heads over to Blitz. Blitz bribes it with a nice slice of cheese to help him out.

Gerardo is close to shooting up the D.H.O.R.K.S with Blitz's gun, but since it's demonic, it burns his hand and leads to an improbably catastrophe bullet ricochet that kills him.

The goat retrieves Blitz's crystal; Blitz and the D.H.O.R.K.S. make a hasty escape, and the episode ends with the small goat beginning its Cult of the Lamb arc :).

What was good:

Moxxie and Blitz's interaction at the beginning is a good joke, it got a chuckle out of me:

"I want to say these are Earth goats, sir." "I don't care how great they are, they are In. My. Way!"

The Hispanic voice actors did an awesome job.

The music is energetic and fun.

D.H.O.R.K.S. and Gerardo's interaction is well-executed, it was my favorite joke of the short.

Blitz's escape is well-animated and he looks like a rascal.

Background jokes, such as Agent #1's badge saying "Insert Text Here".

The art of the final shot, where the goat is ruling over its disciples in a candle-lit shed, has great composition and lighting. Whichever artists created this shot, you executed it damn well.

Along with this, the shot of Gerardo's house is beautiful.

The beginning frenzy was entertaining. I liked the shot of Blitz shooting like a madman:

What could've improved:

Millie had no lines in this short, despite being present in it. I wish she did; being a farm girl, she could've had some quick commentary 'bout the place or interact with Moxxie a bit.

Blitz's swearing in this short can drag on a bit. He's a crude imp, but some of the jokes just got the punchline of a swear. They could be crafted better.

As mentioned in the beginning, the title card could use some work.

Also mentioned, how the chupacabra is represented isn't accurate. I'm no expert though; if you're reading this and wanna counter me, I'm alright with that.

Other comments/opinions:

The pesos ain't exactly accurate, but they get the main idea across.

I ain't a fan of HB humor to be honest, but I won't fault you if you like it.

I.M.P. missions are starting to get restricted to shorts, which I'm not a particular fan of either. The show was originally advertised as a hitman dark comedy, but its main plot has changed to something that I can no longer be invested in.

I appreciate the background team and the music composer, Alexander Arntzen. I'm a big sucker for art.

Overall rating: 6/10 or 7/10. Nothing too spectacular, but it's pretty cool! Let me know what you thought of the short in the comments.

[duhragonball]

Akira Toriyama (1955-2024)

I wouldn't say I'm feeling better today, but I'm feeling less bad than yesterday. So let's see if I can put some words together.

In case anyone still hasn't heard, Dragon Ball creator Akira Toriyama passed away on March 1, 2024. This news was made public on March 7 or 8. I woke up early on Friday morning and found out while I was checking Twitter. I had a long, busy day at work, and I kept getting on my phone to scroll through fan reactions and tributes.

I think that, more than anything, is what's gotten me so worked up about his death. My Twitter timeline and my tumblr dashboard were just chock full of touching message and images about how Akira Toriyama's work has changed their lives. I wanted to write my own tribute, but I'm not sure what else I can say that hasn't already been expressed by Archie Comics, professional wrestling trio The New Day, and the Republic of El Salvador.

There's this immense, global community of fans, and it's easy to lose sight of just how big it is. It's easy to get bogged down in the infighting and petty squabbles. I saw one tweet responding to the criticism of Dragon Ball not being like this "entry level" franchise compared to other, more high brow anime and manga. It's popular with so many people, that critics will assume it's designed to appeal to the lowest-common-denominator. But the opposite is true! Dragon Ball is accessible, which is how so many people from so many different places and walks of life can get into it. The guy telling the story was such a master storyteller that he could grab an audience's attention and make it look easy. So easy that the haters would start to think that it was a trick, and he must be overrated.

Let me talk about this panel for a minute.

Last night I started going through the original manga, looking for panels to screencap. I wasn't sure what I wanted to do, but I thought maybe a selection of panels that really stood out for me might be worth posting. I'll probably still do that one of these days, but I got to this one, where Gohan tells Chi-Chi about Goku's death, and it hit me like a ton of bricks.

This was a powerful scene in the anime, of course, but in the comic it's even more profound. It's just one panel, no dialogue, because the reader already knows what's happening here. We know Gohan is telling his mother that Goku died in the Cell Games, and that he refuses to be wished back, because he thinks his presence on Earth will attract new enemies. It was hard enough to hear when Goku said it to Gohan and the others, and now Gohan has to relay that message to Goku's wife. All she can do is lie prostate on the floor and weep.

And look at the composition. She's surrounded by all that negative space. Gohan's there for her, but she still feels so alone, surrounded by her husband's absence. Pots of flour for food he'll never eat. An empty chair he might have sat in. Their son, who will have to grow up without him.

I saw this, as though for the first time, and it was so gut-wrenching that I had to post it by itself. I felt like it summed up my feelings better than any words could. We're all Chi-Chi in this panel, reacting to Akira Toriyama's death. And we're all Gohan too, each of us consoling one another with our own thoughts and tributes.

So what did Akira Toriyama mean to us all? Lots of people have answered this in a lot of different ways. Obviously his art, storytelling and cultural impact speak for themselves. I've seen people compare him to other luminaries like Jack Kirby and Osamu Tezuka. I'll try to add my own two cents with this:

I wrote a post about "Dragon Ball Daima" back when it was first announced, and I led off with this image of a note from Akira Toriyama. I guess this was from some big fancy presentation about Daima at a convention. I forget which one. In particular, I was skeptical that the Daima rumors were even true, and if they were, the whole idea seemed half-baked to me. Turning Goku into a kid had been done before, and it wasn't exactly successful the first time.

But this note from Toriyama was very reassuring to me. More than the trailer clips and character designs, this was what got me interested in the show. That's because he took the time to not only hype up the show, but also to explain what's going on behind the premise. He took the time to tell everyone that he's working on this show, and what "Daima" means, and why all the characters get turned into kids. It's "due to a conspiracy", and the good guys will have to "fix things". In short, he established a plot, conflict, and resolution to the story. He didn't just slap this together to sell new merch. I'm sure that was part of the motivation to make Daima, but there's more to it than that.

I think that's the loss I feel with Toriyama's passing. It's not that there won't be new Dragon Ball stories in the future. I'm sure others will continue telling their own versions long after I'm gone. I'm not that worried about the fate of Daima. I'm sure they'll figure something out, whether it's delayed, rewritten, or canceled. But we'll never see another message from Toriyama to promote a new project, and that's what I'll miss. From here on, his credit will just be an acknowledgement of his past contributions.

There's this great credibility with Akira Toriyama's name. Fans will argue about how involved he was in a project as a way of establishing how good or bad it was. Dragon Ball GT has his name on the credits, and he provided some designs and artwork early on, and for some fans that proves the series has his endorsement. For others, the sole problem with the show is that he wasn't directly writing the script. There's similar debates over Dragon Ball Super, where he was involved, but only writing those mysterious "notes". So if a fan doesn't like something in DBS, who do they blame? Did Toriyama lose his touch, or did his co-creators fumble the ball? Dragon Ball Evolution basically ignored all of Toriyama's advice and bombed, while Battle of Gods, Resurrection F, Broly, and Super Hero all put Toriyama's writing credits up at the very beginning, and each film made plenty of money. I read his comments on the Daima confirmation, and immediately thought "Okay, this should be pretty good. Akira Toriyama knows what's up."

That's gone now. I mean, there's still a lot of talent out there, but we'll never again have the little gas mask-wearing robot telling us that this story will be good because he worked on making it good. I don't think I really appreciated how much I trusted that guy until now. I still can't believe he's really gone.

I'll probably have more to say about this in the coming days, but I'll stop here for now. Thanks for letting me ramble a bit on this.

[supersonicbaddie]

If you are a Sonadow Shipper listen...

No this post isn't to bash you, because there are some of you that are cool and respectful. I just want to make you aware of something.

I'm sure you know that there is a wiki page Sonadow Wiki which is based on the ship. Has screencaps from Sonic Media featuring Sonic and Shadow. On the outside it may look like just a wholesome page right?

That's where the problem comes in...

Not only does this site spreads misinformation about your fave ship, but the owner of the site is a complete douche towards other shippers.

The owner even goes out of their way to slander Amy and saying that SEGA officials like Ian Flynn and Evan Stanley are corrupted employees because of their, and I quote "SONAMY AGENDA." They also bashed Shadamy as well even though in official media Amy never shown romantic interest in Shadow. Shadamy is another wholesome ship that fans have fun with.

Amy was created to be Sonic's love interest. They continued to slander Amy claiming that she's the cause of the other characters getting pushed aside which is not the case.

They also go on to say that Vandalize my Heart was a message from SEGA of Japan telling SEGA America they're corrupted. I even cringed at the fact that they also said that SEGA Hardlight is corrupted because they promote Amy skins a lot. Like you really are offended over a single pink hedgehog? Please seek help misogynistic piece of shit.

Let it be known that Evan Stanley has support the Sonadow ship in a platonic way, so that's a bunch of bullshit. Also Ian Flynn did a podcast which was meant to be fun and hilarious for the shippers to enjoy Sonadow themed questions. And the wiki had the nerve to say that it was "disrespectful."

Also the part where it says, "SEGA of Japan superiors wish for Sonadow."

They sound really dumb as fuck and unhinged. You don't know what goes on with SEGA and as far as I'm concerned it's not your business.

Also I would to add that the owner goes on to discredit other ships and be mad disrespectful to people that call them out on their shit.

What also pisses me off is that when they are corrected and people come back with facts and evidence, they wanna play the homophobia card because someone debunks their Sonadow semi-canon claims.

Another user by the name of ilovejamas74 who was on the site stated that they have been criticized by moderation for their information.

Also if you look down at past message walls and discussion boards they find the people that report their wiki page and literally harass them!

In conclusion,

If you don't want brainrot, avoid shitty pages like this. And if you want to keep up with the actual real Sonic Canon timelines and relationships go to Sonic Wiki Zone! At least you'll be on a site that has actual facts, proper translations, any type of shipper is welcome and respected.

To those who don't ship Sonic and Shadow and read this post, please be kind and respectful. There are Sonadow shippers who are actually cool to be around with, and don't fuck with the toxic behavior.

Thank you.

[luvtonique]

I wanted to address all of the controversies about me and put some explanations on them because unfortunately we live in a day and age where people just see the dirt without ever wondering how the dirt got there. They think "Man that guy never washes his car look how filthy it is" because I just fuckin went offroading 10 minutes ago but they didn't know that.

Aight let's start with numero uno, the thing I'm called the most, the big word for good ol Jay: Transphobe!

This is the one with the most hilarious backstory of them all which to this day baffles my goddamn mind.

I used to be a hated artist because I drew violent shit, I was known for Lil Miss Rarity which is a super violent comic. Naturally this lead to people saying that I was "killing children" because I was drawing violent (and sometimes pornographic) images of a children's cartoon show (My Little Pony).

So in my quick rise to stardom, I had a lot of hateful people attacking me as well, and I had fun with it. I called them out, called them stupid, etc.

Well, one of them was Dumbo. Dumbo spent 6 full months making posts about me that are still on their blog to this day. Every single time I made a post, they reblogged it or reposted it, to call me a shithead, call me an ass hole, wish I'd kill myself, etc.

One day I was doing a fundraiser to put away money for a potential emergency because my mom had hurt her spine really bad and was in the hospital. I had a goal of $300 and raised $1200.

Dumbo, of course, was saying hateful shit about me still, and said, I quote, "I hope that whore dies in the hospital lmao"

So, I looked into who Dumbo was. The Brony fandom was, at the time, all about Love and Tolerance, so I did some sleuthing and found out they were an artist on DeviantART taking full color commissions for $10. I commissioned them on my DA account, and asked them to draw Lil Miss Rarity. They and I had a very polite conversation, and since they drew the picture very quickly I tipped them 100% and told them to up their prices because their art is very good.

They thanked me, not knowing it was me (despite that it was literally my main account), and I walked away.

Then, they checked my gallery, found out it was me, and went into a rage, making a post that says, "LMFAO, Jay just begged for money and then turned around and used it to commission an artist for double their asking price, what a shithead!!"

So, I took the screencaps of all of their death threats over 6 months, compiled them all, and showed my massive Tumblr following in a huge callout post against them. In the middle, I referred to Dumbo as "he/she/it/clown" and everyone (AND I FUCKING MEAN EVERYONE) completely ignored the 6 months of death threats and how consistently polite I was to them, and sided with Dumbo in a moment that labeled me "Transphobic" for the rest of my life.

Another instance is I called Kris from Deltarune he/she, and was called transphobic for that, and got the amazing quote "That's a real-ass child and you're misgendering them deliberately," to which I replied, "That's not a real-ass child that's a fictional character you fucking retard"

NEXT UP: ABLEIST.

I grew up in Los Angeles in special ed classes and have a mentally retarded brother, I have the pass to say retard, fuck off.

NEXT UP: RACIST.

I grew up in Los Angeles with a father who called himself "N*gger Bob" (he's white) because he was a super racist who believed being asked to help take the trash out was "akin to slavery." He also beat my retarded brother half to death for having a black girlfriend.

I was in LA during the Rodney King riots, I was in LA right in the middle of the Crips and Bloods trying to kill each other and having fuckloads of gang shootouts that I overheard when I was chilling in the Ceritos (spelling) mall.

I know what racism looks like.

A white boy saying the n-word while playing Fortnite is not what racism looks like.

A white boy singing along with Busta Rhymes (hi that's me) on a livestream and casually dropping n-bombs because I'M SINGING ALONG WITH BUSTA, BITCH, is not what racism looks like. I had three black friends growing up, Davion, Julian and Smalls, and also Undrier but Undrier was retarded and I didn't consider him a friend he just followed me around and called me "Day" because he couldn't pronounce J's. But me, Smalls and Davion would stand on Davion's aunt's porch and eat zucchini cornbread and listen to Woo Haw and headbang and sing along til the fucking cows came home.

But now that I'm grown up, my upbringing apparently doesn't matter, my FUCKING SKIN COLOR DOES (you know, racist ideology!) and I'm no longer allowed to say the n-word despite having casually spent my entire childhood surrounded by black friends who were completely okay with me saying it. I grew up in the hood, motherfucker! Bellflower born n' raised, bitch! Wes' Side!

But I'm <skin color> and since <skin color> isn't allowed to <thing that's designated for only other skin color to do>, I'm racist.

NEXT UP: PEDOPHIIIIIILE

I was molested when I was 13, which thankfully didn't leave too much emotional scarring on me. Anthony Sevarino, the dude's name was, and he shoved my hand in his pants and showed me his dick during a camping trip and said he was gonna fuck me in my bed. I was so shocked by this happening that I didn't even tell my parents who were in the same motorhome literally asleep 10 feet from me.

Growing up, I always had a really emotional trigger to seeing harm come to children, I hate it. I cry and shake uncontrollably when I see children getting hurt, no matter what. It's the only thing I have I'd call a "trigger."

I saw that episode of Rugrats where Tommy cuts his finger and then he's scared to do anything anymore because he might get hurt, and that made me fucking bawl, it still does, seeing Tommy cry super fucking hard over seeing his finger bleed- holy shit it's making me teary eyed right now just typing that.

So, naturally, I don't want children to get hurt and am extremely against pedophilia, child predatory behavior, MAPs, grooming and these FUCKING PEOPLE WHO KEEP CASUALLY TALKING TO 13 YEAR OLDS ON DISCORD FOR FUCK SAKE.

"But Jay! You drew foalcon! Those fictional ponies are underaged!"

What, you mean that tag that's still extremely popular and always has been in the brony fandom?

Yeah can't imagine why I, a very popular artist in the brony fandom from 12 years ago to 10 years ago, would ever draw something so insanely high demand and so insanely popular. Can't fucking imagine.

Never mind that I haven't drawn it in 3 years, removed all my old images of it, and even announced I'm not drawing that shit anymore, I'm still losing friends when they find out I did once, because "I can't associate with a pedophile I'm sorry." (See: "I can't differentiate fiction from reality and also can't allow a person to move on from a troubled past that they had.")

Also never mind that the few crowdpleaser foalcon moments in Lil Miss Rarity were officially written out entirely (the part where Twist and Sweetie Belle kissed).

But you know what's amazing? Being part of the brony fandom and being an artist willing to draw anything meant that people would come to me and literally confess that they're in possession of the "real shit" and wanted to know if I was interested. Seven of them, seven, are in prison now because of me and my buddy "Z" contacting the FBI with their confessions and the shit they shared with me thinking that I was a "safe person" to admit that shit to.

My position in the fandom as an artist who gets to know their commissioners personally and was willing to draw that type of shit was literally fishing out real actual predators and putting them in prison, but I was still getting called a pedophile, and still get called it today. It's fuckin great man.

NEXT UP: TRANSPHOBE (PART 2)

I was trans. Shaved my hair half off, dyed it blue, called myself Jynkx, cussed out my family, moved to Ohio with a guy who wore diapers around the house (with his brother living there) and collected loli figurines, and dated a transgirl who was catfishing and manipulating me for 9 fucking years. I have a Discord server to this day with pronoun selection roles, my best friend is trans (I met her when she was cis and helped her come to the decision to transition and it has since improved her life and happiness), and almost every mod in my Discord server is trans.

The problem, of course, is that the trans activist community hates itself more than any other, which makes perfect sense if you think about it. This is a group of people who encourage hating cisgendered people, and encourage people to hate the body they're in and to transition to a "different body." It's been proven multiple sources that there are entire "Femboy Cults" (search that on YouTube) who are actively seeking out depressed people to manipulate them into starting HRT, and cutting off their family.

WELL GUESS WHAT HAPPENED TO ME?

Bridget, as you all remember her, was a manipulator who lied to me for 9 years of dating to make me depressed, hate myself, hate my family, give her thousands of dollars, and kept promising we'd meet some day while turning down every opportunity (such as conventions we were both already going to) to meet (yes, I went to conventions she was at and didn't meet her).

I was a victim of manipulation, was surrounded by horribly manipulative and narcissistic pieces of shit who warped my mind and made me believe I was depressed because I was "an egg" and needed to go get on HRT and change myself. And I almost did! I came within a hair's reach of shoving a hormone-altering drug into myself in hopes it would cure my depression, and then went "Wait a second, I'm not depressed because I'm a woman trapped in a man's body, I'm depressed because femboy-obsessed manipulative pervert rapists want me to turn myself into their fetish." I broke up with Bridget, I moved home from Ohio, I waited for my hair to stop being blue, and I became proud of myself for escaping that horrible situation and bettering myself mentally.

So how's this make me a transphobe?

I DON'T FUCKING KNOW, YOU FUCKING TELL ME YOU FUCKING INSANE BOOGEYMAN-BELIEVING ASSHOLES WHO BLAME EVERY OTHER PERSON FOR YOUR OWN INTERNAL LACK OF FUCKING SELF WORTH.

WAKE THE FUCK UP. YOU'VE BEEN MANIPULATED BY THESE FUCKING TRANS ACTIVISTS WHO ARE JUST SICK FETISHISTS WHO WANT TO TRANSFORM LONELY MEN INTO "FEMBOYS" UNDER FALSE PROMISES THAT IT WILL FIX THEIR MENTAL PROBLEMS. GET OUT WHILE YOU FUCKING CAN. I DID AND I'VE NEVER BEEN HAPPIER IN MY LIFE.

Next up: HOMOPHOBE

I draw LGD (Lesbians Getting Dicked) because I think it's hot when girls who like girls have sex with guys. I've drawn some pretty offensive pictures of it such as a pic of two lesbians being told "Pride month's over, ladies, time to be straight again" while being surrounded by hard dicks and looking scared.

Why'd I do this? Well because a lesbian friend of mine also likes that shit and we did that as an art trade.

But why do I draw it on my own sometimes? Because it's hot. It's fucking fictional porn, it's not real, it can't hurt you. I tag it LGD and only post it in servers you need accounts to see. You don't like it stop going out of your way to look at it, and if someone slams it in your face in your private "We Hate Jay" Discord server (which there are many of. I have moles who tell me.), that's not my fault y'fuckin dipshits. I properly tag and hide my stuff so only people who want to see it can see it. If someone showed you a picture of my spread asshole, you should get mad at them, not me. They're the one who SAVED IT TO THEIR COMPUTER AND SHOWED IT TO THEIR FRIENDS UNSOLICITED, YOU MORONS.

Anyway.

Next up: AN ASS HOLE.

I've spent 13 years being called all of the above names no matter how much I've catered to their activism and was even part of their activist movements directly. Fuck you.

Next up: A NAZI

Lmao.

I said on Twitter, "I hate that no matter what you say on this site, someone somewhere will get mad."

And that, without any further comment from me literally at all, turned into a massive amount of people including "Wootmaster" (Added note: I talked with Woot in private and he gave me the okay and apologized, we cool) calling me racist and a "Bootlicking Nazi." I literally did not add to it. I literally just said the opening line and left it for 3 days.

That's why I deleted my Twitter.

That's why people think I'm a Nazi.

Because I said "I hate that no matter what you say on this site, someone somewhere will get mad."

Next up: I DON'T FUCKING KNOW I BET THERE'S MORE.

You see why I make angry rant posts like this one?

Because this is how I've been treated for 13 fucking years.

I've been attacked, called names, labeled evil, told I'm phobic against the movements I was literally part of and being an activist for, had money stolen from me by perverts who got arrested for drilling a hole in the bathroom wall at a brony convention to jack off to his female roommates (he pretended to be trans and bullied them into letting him room with them in their "Safe Women's Hotel Room" and then did that shit and got arrested. But not before he stole money from me! Six thousand fucking dollars!), lived with a fucking probably actual child predator who would show me his loli figures and foalcon posters every day and try to convince me to like them and showed me his dick multiple times...

I literally was smack dab in the middle of super ultra liberal activism and trans activism for over a goddamn decade, right down to blue hair half shaved off and calling myself Jynkx.

And I come back, snap out of it, and get cussed out and called transphobic and "the reason trans people are being killed" because I don't like the flowery 1-dimensional LGBT representation in World of Warcraft and have a 9 year running best friend I went to multiple conventions with decide instantly that I'm a Nazi racist communist because I didn't disown my mother when she voted for the orange guy, and because I called one of their friends "Insane" for identifying as fae/fie and thinking they're a goddamn gaelic woodland sprite. (Btw he was my most frequent commissioner for loli shit and used to jack off while I was drawing it for him.)

You see, people.

I've spent 13 years surrounding myself with and getting personally connected with the lives of my commissioners as a brony/furry artist who was deep into LGBT and Liberal activism.

And in those 13 years I've come to realize that I surrounded myself with the most fucking disgusting and evil people on earth, who no matter how much I would shill for them and do what they asked, I would still be the label-covered punching bag whose reputation is now so utterly in the trash that literally no matter what I draw, say, or do today, I still have people on shady Discord servers n' shit calling me a fucking lolcow and a pedo and a transphobe and a Nazi and a racist and a homophobe and an ass hole.

I have learned in 13 goddamn years that you can't appease these fucking lunatic psychopaths.

And so I don't anymore.

So who am I really?

I'm an incredibly easy to talk to artist, I'm a dude, I love roleplaying and drawing pictures for people, I like writing song lyrics, I love hearing about new inventions and innovations, I love goats, I love dogs, I think cats make bad pets but I don't mind cats, I'm making a video game about an elf girl, and I want you hateful people who I've lived rent-free in the heads of for over a goddamn decade to leave me and my fanbase the fuck alone.

Love you all.

~Jay

[red-riding-wood]

Saltwater Tears

@runnning-outof-time K... Tumblr ate your ask when I saved it to my drafts so I apologise for the shitty screencap (I always take these beforehand in case it does this lol). And thank you for the request. <3 As I promised, I brought all the angst.

Also, while writing this, the character/reader reminded me of the song Dragonslayer by Lana Del Rey (Isa, you have ruined me) so I decided to use that as some added inspiration.

Pairing: Tommy Shelby x F!Reader

Fandom: Peaky Blinders

WARNINGS: Angst, sexual references, mentions of cheating, language

WC: 1816

Thomas’ words still echoed through your throbbing skull, no amount of his haughtiness lost on your memory as you trudged through the rain slicked streets. The coldness of his gaze was blazoned on the forefront of your mind, the flippancy with which he had dismissed you after the tense meeting with your father as if you were merely a trophy to flaunt before shelved to suffocate in a slow build of dust.

And with each step, your lungs seemed to constrict tighter. With each step, you remembered bits and pieces of the evidence you’d found of his infidelity – the unfamiliar hair brush on his bedside table, the smell of another woman’s perfume on his sheets. You hadn’t wanted to believe it, hadn’t found your suspicion to be unbearable until now.

He called your name past the roar of the storm, but it only drove the spike in your heart deeper each time, your tears mingling with the cold of the rain and your body shuddering from head to toe.

And yet, every time your name was uttered, you couldn’t help but falter, your bleeding heart beating for him and some cruelly human part of your mind urging you to turn back and let yourself fall into arms that would be so warm in the cold, that would soothe the bitterness in your burning veins.

You jumped back, a sheet of filth drenching the skirt of your dress. A shiver seemed to travel to the very marrow of your bone, and as you stopped, staring in shock at the car that sped by and the road you had nearly stepped across, your heart felt as if it were about to split your ribcage in half.

“Y/N.” A gravelly yet distant voice called to you so soft now, a warm breath on your neck sending another shiver to your aching bones. You turned, slowly, and swallowed your grief as you met Thomas’ piercing eyes. Once his touch grazed the bare of your arm, it was over. You weren’t going anywhere.

“Let’s talk about this,” he said, catching his own breath as his fingers travelled down the length of your arm and laced with your own that shivered, numb, from the cold.

That was the first time you had ever heard Thomas Shelby suggest you talk about anything, and it pulled at an aching heart.

“Okay. Let’s talk,” you breathed, voice nearly washed away by the roar of the storm. You blinked fiercely, lashes fluttering in the rain that struck them. “You never told me your history with my father.”

“It’s in the past,” Thomas said, and you nearly winced at his words. As his other hand reached to brush the hair slicked to your cheek, you flinched away. And like that, your bleeding heart came undone, and you said, “Really, that little pissing match was ‘in the past’? The entire purpose of that meeting was just to rub his nose in the fact that you fucked me.”

Thomas’ hand seemed to catch in the air, not used to this side of you. The side of you that was bitter, that was fed up.

And he didn’t say anything. But his fingers loosened from yours.

You choked back a sob, and your words came weaker now, and you stammered over them because you couldn’t believe what you were saying, didn’t want to imagine him answering. “Did you… did you ever… Do you really want me? Or is this your way of getting back at my father?”

All your life, you’d been taken advantage of by men who wished to grow closer to your family for their ties and their power. And while your father had many enemies – the Blinders included – you never could have imagined that someone would pretend to love you just to hurt him, let alone the one person who seemed to understand you, who’d offered you some ounce of reprieve in this unforgiving city.

You’d been used many times, but this, this was different. It would’ve hurt less had you stepped onto that road.

Thomas was still silent, chest heaving as he panted out his own breaths. Blue eyes twisted with grief, the bright of them taking your reluctant mind through memories of the pastel sky above the two of you as you rode through the countryside, of the dress he had bought you and had said did not compare to your beauty.

Your fingers bunched the drenched fabric of the very same dress, peeling wretched garment from your flesh as if it caged you to such memories. You tried not to think of all the times you’d worn it for him, that it had been discarded across the same bed that had been inhabited by other women.

“I know about her,” you added bitterly. “Or them. I know about them.” Your eyes bled tears, and your heart pumped venom. “I’ve lied to myself for too long,” you said, as you began to turn away. “Goodbye, Thomas.”

“They were just business.”

You halted, anger flaring from the raw ache of your heart, and you spun on your heel. “So you’re using them, too?” you snapped. “Everything is business with you, Thomas. Everything. Even me.”

“You’re not just business.” He took a step forward. “You’re the best thing that ever happened to me.”

It seemed as if your heart hadn’t broken enough. At his words, it shattered in your chest.

“Y/N, I want you,” he said. “And I don’t say it enough, but I love you. It was never about your father.”

“What was it about, then?” Your voice shook and you fought against every basic instinct to draw him in close, to press your chin to his chest and hear his own heart beating for yours.

He shook his head, lips parted but not speaking, as if at a loss for words. You were about to turn away again, when he took another step forward, his hot breath fanning against your cheeks. “That first time you asked me to take you to the ocean. And fuck me, I nearly didn’t say yes.” The faintest of chuckles broke his speech, the rare chuff of his laughter clawing at your aching chest. “But when you caught the wind in your hair it was like you came alive.”

Past the damp of the rain you could smell the sea, could nearly taste the saltwater on your lips when he’d kissed you that day. The last of your worries had melted away in the heat of that kiss, had been swept away by the breeze and carried far offshore. Or so you had thought.

“And you made me feel alive,” he said, his hands cupping your cheeks now. You were paralysed, at his mercy, leaning into his touch and inhaling the scent of horses and gunpowder past the rain. “For the first time since the war.” 

Breaths exchanged, and you tilted your head so that his lips brushed your forehead instead, and you said, “Why don’t you say things like this to me more?”

“I don’t know. But I can. Just come back to me.” His fingers wrapped around the back of your neck as if to trap you. You’d never heard him so desperate. It nearly made you do exactly what he asked.

As if that wasn’t what you yearned for. As if you wouldn’t do anything to forget all of this and go back to that day by the sea, or under the pastel blue sky on the back of a racehorse.

“I want to.” You could hear his heart beating now, thundering like the hooves of one of his horses as you uttered your truths into the dampened fabric of his shirt. “And I want to believe you. But I don’t know if I should.”

“Come back inside,” he breathed against your hair.

“I don’t know if my heart can take this, Thomas.” You tore yourself away, practically shoving him off while avoiding his gaze. “I don’t know if I can go through this again if you’re lying…”

“I’m not lying. Look at me. Look at me.” Firm fingers swept beneath your chin and forced your gaze to his.

“If I make you feel so alive, why do you keep killing me, slowly? Why do I keep watching you drift from me?” As if you were taken by that ocean. Your saltwater lips trembled around your words.

They were questions you’d been burning to ask for a long time now. Questions you’d buried beneath your own lies that you told yourself, like how you’d buried your anguish beneath the sands of the beach only to feel it slam once more against your chest, harder, more forceful than anything you’d known.

You couldn’t take it anymore, not as each second of silence that dragged by killed a piece of you. “You can’t answer. And if I come back to you, it’s going to keep happening.” You spoke past the rising sand in your throat until it came out as a whimper, and you shook your head helplessly, and you realised that it was your tears that you could taste on your tongue, not the ocean. “I’m so torn, Thomas.”

“I’ll flip a coin,” he said, digging into his pocket. “Heads, you trust me. Tails, you walk away.”

Those words might as well have been the last nail in your coffin. They’d sealed your fate, at one time. When he’d asked you to work for him. When you knew the moment the silver caught the wink of light that he would be your undoing no matter what it landed on.

“Not everything can be solved with a coin,” you protested, the bitter taste of betrayal on your tongue.

“Remember, it will tell you what you want. Remember when – “

“I remember, Thomas.” It was all coming crashing down on you just like the rain that pelted your shivering body, and you closed your eyes, your tears achingly warm as they bled across your cheeks.

“Watch.”

“No – “

The coin was a watery vision as it came down in the air, your lashes peeling open and lips parting in terror. Whatever it landed on, it was over. Either he’d kill you slowly or you’d die here, tonight; you’d never be the same. Your fate had always been sealed.

He snapped the coin shut in his hand. You met his eyes, your own fear reflected in their bright blues. And you realised that neither of you wanted to look. And so, tentatively, you asked,

“What is it?”

Slowly, he opened his hand. Slowly, you both looked at the coin. And slowly, the shards of your heart weighed so heavy in your chest that you felt as if you’d collapse to your knees.

But the answer wasn’t what crushed you. It was the realisation that, despite what the coin said, despite knowing what was best for you, you just…

… you couldn’t.  

A.N. I'm leaving the ending ambiguous and it's up to you if the coin landed on heads or tails!

MASTERLIST • REQUEST

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[nonbinaryspy]

Meta: Timerra and Tellius

Timerra’s (belated) birthday gives me an excuse to talk about one of my favorite Engage topics: the parallels between her and various Tellius characters.

(Spoilers for FE9/10 and FE17.)

The obvious place to start is Ike. As Timerra’s personal Emblem, his build and paralogue in Engage focus on turning defense into offense to endure and protect others. This synergizes with Timerra’s Sandstorm ability as well as her priorities as Solm’s future queen.

Compared to other Emblem summonings in the game, the scene where Ike is summoned is quick and to-the-point. The Solm royals are highly competent, with a wide spy network, and already had a plan in place for when Alear shows up. They have a healthy wariness they don’t immediately display, as they welcome Alear with open arms while secretly testing if they are the true Divine Dragon. By the time Timerra meets Alear, their identity has been confirmed and bandits are already attacking, so she jumps straight into action to get Ike’s help and protect the village.

I’m sure Ike would approve of her no-nonsense approach and her focus on keeping people safe, especially after all of his own bandit fights. He has no patience for bureaucracy or noble trappings, but he understands the need for discretion when danger and politics are involved (see: his own ‘sometimes you have to fool your allies’ maneuver in RD part 2), so I think he would appreciate how the Solm royals handle this.

But you don’t have to take my word for that. Between Timerra and Seforia saying they always wanted to meet him, Timerra calling him family, Ike telling Fogado that Solm castle reminded him of being with the mercenaries, and his first Somniel dialogue saying that he already misses Solm, I think it’s safe to say there’s a lot of natural fondness between Ike and the Solm royals. Is there any wonder, when one of Solm’s main norms is accepting people regardless of their origins, possibly Ike’s defining ideal?

My favorite example of this is when Alear’s origins are revealed, and Timerra and Fogado have some of the most affirming reactions:

[ID: Four screencaps with the following dialogue toward Alear: Timerra: What matters to me isn’t how you were born. It’s what you do with the life you’re given. Timerra: If you choose to live as a Divine Dragon, then that’s what you are! Timerra: Nothing’s changed as far as I’m concerned. The you that’s in front of me—that’s all I need. Fogado: The people of Solm don’t care about origins. We care about the you NOW. And you are amazing.]

This aspect of Timerra shines throughout her supports, most notably in her relationships with Merrin and Panette. Their love and loyalty toward her stems from a time before they even knew she was a princess. They both see her as a beacon in their lives, as they wished to escape the confines of their pasts and find new futures for themselves. Timerra saw them for their ideal versions of themselves—Merrin as a chivalrous knight, Panette as someone who isn’t caught in a destructive cycle—rather than the situations they came from. Her acceptance helped them create those realities for themselves.

Anyway, unrelated to the above, just a completely random pair of images that don’t make me cry at all:

[ID: In a screencap from Engage, Timerra is saying, “No matter what’s happened, you’re still you. Let’s go save the world, Ike!” In a screencap from Path of Radiance, Ike is telling Soren, “No. It doesn’t change anything. You’re still you, Soren!”]

Another example is Timerra’s attitude toward Veyle. In the main plot, she’s one of the few main characters to express distrust toward Veyle even after the truth is revealed. However, once Veyle has proven herself as an ally, Timerra is extremely friendly toward her in their supports, with Veyle appreciating how Timerra treats her like any other friend rather than a Fell Dragon’s daughter. Again, this is reminiscent of Ike’s blend of skepticism and treating everyone the same.

I think it’s also interesting that Timerra struggles with conflicting desires for freedom vs. connection, as shown in her S support. Despite Ike’s love for people, he doesn’t always deal well with the responsibilities and expectations that get placed on him, and his ending shows he shares some of her wanderlust.

Timerra: When we connect with people─you know, really bond with them─those bonds make us stronger. Timerra: I mean, our closest allies help us do things we could never do all by ourselves. Timerra: That’s powerful stuff. But those bonds─those friendships─can feel like obligations too.

Finally, one of my favorite parallels between Ike and Timerra is a shared charm point: the fact that they live as they please, regardless of what others think, while also acting like everything they do is super obvious. An extremely ‘have your cake and eat it too’ mentality that I can only respect. 

Alear: Still, you never cease to amaze. You take it upon yourself to help root out bandits… Timerra: What, is that not normal? Timerra: I’m just protecting my people. I thought that’s what royalty was supposed to do. Alear: You say something completely radical like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. Timerra: Hahaha! That’s my charm!

Ranulf: Well…a little crazy, yeah! I’ve never worked for a leader who’s as blunt and straightforward as you. It’s pretty shocking to have a commander who doesn’t care what anyone thinks, no matter how powerful they are. Ike: Well, that’s just my style. I don’t have to be like someone else, do I? Ranulf: Why are you so confident? I don’t get it. Normal beorc just do what people tell them and try not to make a fuss. But not you. I heard you even yelled at the apostle! Ike: Yeah, that wasn’t my brightest moment. Ranulf: Then again, worrying about a beorc like this is definitely not normal laguz behavior. I guess I’m a fish out of water myself… Wait, did I just call myself a fish? Ike: Wha–? Ha ha! You’re a cat, remember!? I thought you ate fish. Ha ha ha!

Okay, that last bit isn’t relevant, but I just want to highlight that while Timerra and Fogado talk about how serious Ike is compared to them, they would definitely enjoy his secret love of bad puns. Here’s a bit of Timerra’s own sardonic humor that brings Ike to mind:

Alear: What?! How do you eat that much?! Timerra: Oh, you know. Open my mouth, bite, chew. I won’t bore you with all the details.

Of course I have to mention their love of meat, even if I don’t find that to be an important part of Ike’s character. What I will say is that Ike is shown in his supports with Oscar to have a genuine appreciation for artful cooking, so I think it’s neat that Timerra is one of the best cooks in the army. It’s also endearing that she feels bad for cooking around Ike when he can’t eat, though he tells Fogado the smell is enough.

Next, I want to talk about a couple of characters who aren’t in Engage: Mist and Elincia. I adore that the focus on Timerra protecting Ike flips his dynamic with both of these ladies on its head. Speaking of protection…I believe that Mist and Ike’s relationship mirrors Timerra and Fogado’s, with their fond, casual banter. It makes sense, since both duos are close in age.

Interestingly, despite Timerra being Fogado’s older sister, he is as protective of her as Ike is toward Mist. In Fogado’s case, he seems to almost see himself as Timerra’s retainer, given that he will one day be her advisor. He travels around to prepare himself for this role. Timerra, however, doesn’t always like this, as she wishes they could hang out more and that he would be more candid with her. While they’re clearly close, the distance still leaves her lonely.

Though it’s a different situation, Greil’s death puts Ike in the role of Mist’s protector at the same time that he gains dangerous responsibilities. He also takes it upon himself to get revenge on their father’s killer. She stresses that she does not want him to do these things if it means she’ll lose him, too, and as the game goes on, they lose some of the lighthearted dynamic they had at the game’s start. Having already lost her parents, it’s easy to assume Mist feels lonely in this circumstance. She even has her own protective streak toward Ike, such as in her battle conversations with the Black Knight and Ashnard. Like Timerra, Mist wants to stay close to her loved ones and protect them, and she joins the fighting to that end, even learning swordplay despite being a healer.

Despite their troubles, Mist and Timerra share a bubbly personality. They tend toward optimism and try to hide their cares them. Their sunniness gets them and others through tough situations. However, those around them still want to be able to support them even when struggle with being vulnerable.

In my opinion, some of Mist’s designs evoke Timerra’s, such as in the colors and flowing accessories. While the clothes aren’t super similar, I think the two of them would definitely enjoy going clothes shopping together. I also think they’d like to sing together. Timerra’s silly songs may be a far cry from the galdr that Mist and Elena safeguard, but that would suit Mist just fine.  

Possibly my favorite character to compare Timerra to, though, is Elincia. Timerra’s bangs and the fact that her hair is tied up even follow in the character design traditions of Elincia and other characters in her archetype, such as Nyna and Guinevere. Granted, Timerra’s ponytail is a lot looser than those other characters, which is an excellent design choice as she has a much more free-spirited personality.

Still, Elincia once upon a time was not so different. She grew up in secret, frolicking in the countryside with no expectation of becoming queen. As a result, she did many things most princesses didn’t do, such as chores, horseback riding, and sword fighting. It’s commented many times that due to cultural differences as well as Timerra’s own personality, her lifestyle and activities are often at odds with what others expect from a princess. While their allies might find both princesses strange at times, they end up trusting and supporting them due to their approachable natures.

Elincia is shown to have a playful streak in PoR when she is reunited with her retainers, around whom she feels comfortable enough to drop her more stately personality. On the flip side, while Timerra is more frequently playful, she never forgets her role. Even her more casual supports show this, such as when she susses out Ivy’s weakness during a camping trip, or interrupts a training session with Diamant to ask if he believes peace is possible. Many of her exploration quotes show this as well, with her referencing the other nations’ politics and even in her response if her allies die.

“My brother, my stewards…gone. It’s so cruel. But as the future queen, I will not crumble!”

Elincia and Timerra’s upbringings contrast with each other, since Timerra has always known she would be queen. Her free-spirited nature stems from Solm’s ideals and the role of its government. After Daein invades, Elincia has to travel incognito, giving her a chance to learn about the world. She develops a strong desire to protect her people. The endpoint of her character development in PoR is where Timerra is already at when we are introduced to her—Timerra has been training and traveling incognito and is ready to defend her country. Regardless of where they start, Elincia’s compassion and resolve are reflected in Timerra, who only wants to make her people happy and believes the best way to do that is to get to know them, so she can better understand and protect them.

The games’ plots present challenges that test both characters’ resolve. While Elincia has to make a variety of decisions, the one I want to highlight comes at the end of RD part 2, when Lucia is taken hostage. Elincia is told that Lucia will die unless she gives up the throne to a usurper. However, she refuses. Despite the sacrifice of someone dear to her, she will never give up on protecting Crimea. In the end, both Lucia and Crimea are safe, but it has nonetheless been demonstrated what Elincia would do under that pressure.  

I thought of this when I got to one of my favorite moments in Engage, when Timerra and co. have to take back the palace from the Elusians. Hortensia holds her mother hostage, assuming Timerra will bend and hand over the Emblem rings. However, doing so would doom Solm along with the rest of the world. Timerra refuses to back down, and she saves her family along with her country.

[ID: Five screencaps alternating between RD and Engage. Elincia and Timerra look resolved, while Lucia and Seforia as hostages look on proudly. Elincia: But I will see Crimea through this trial. I will give my people the future they deserve, no matter the cost. Timerra: So threaten us all you want. Take my whole family hostage, if it makes you happy. Timerra: But I stand for Solm, and I always will. Lucia: People of Crimea... Behold a true queen! YOUR queen! Long live Queen Elincia! Seforia: There she is, the future queen of Solm. And her ally, the Divine Dragon.]

Back to characters who are in Engage: the other Tellius Emblems. As with Elincia, Micaiah is presented with a series of trolley problems throughout RD. There’s a big focus in the Tellius games on making decisions for personal vs. political reasons, and whether to prioritize a loved one/a situation that is right in front of you over the bigger picture, and I think this is most complex with Micaiah’s story. This is highlighted when Sothe is held hostage and she is told to stand down to save him. This recalls the situation I already discussed with Timerra.

Like Timerra, Micaiah is a tactical thinker who has to foresee long-term plans as well as use strategic approaches in situations where she’s outnumbered. Micaiah ends RD as Daein’s queen, despite not being brought up for that role and having traveled in disguise, getting to know and love Daein’s people. Again, this fits with Timerra traveling around incognito and being passionate about protecting Solm.

Timerra expresses that Solm didn’t reach out for help when Sombron returned because they’d have to return other nations’ support when it was taking all of their efforts just to keep Solm safe. This brings to mind Micaiah’s conflicts, as she has to make difficult decisions to protect Daein from Begnion’s occupation and the blood pact, which sometimes involves rejecting outside help when a situation is too complicated, such as in her 3-13 battle talk with Ike.

Unfortunately, Emblem bond supports don’t have the scope for these sorts of complexities. However, I was tickled by the fact that Timerra invites Micaiah to sing with her, as a reference again to the Galdrs.

Speaking of bond supports…I don’t have anything deep to say about Timerra and Soren, but just look at how precious they are:

[ID: Two Emblem Bond screencaps. Soren is bowing with his hand over his heart, and he and Timerra are smiling at each other. Soren: You’re the princess of Solm, is that right? I thank you for protecting Ike. Timerra: He’s told me so much about you. I expect big things from you, talented advisor!]

Her careful approach to protecting Ike’s ring won the trust of someone with deep trust issues and a protective streak toward Ike, aww. They’re friends in my files every time. It’s also sweet that she wants to understand him and Ike better by learning about the mercenaries. I know she loves her moodier Emblem pals, but I’m sure she’d feel right at home with the whole rambunctious crew, like how Ike felt at home in Solm.

While this post is long enough without going into depth on Yunaka, as Micaiah’s guardian she also has a combination of Tellius influences, between her obvious parallels to Yune and Sothe as well as some of the themes of Micaiah’s character. Micaiah’s introduction, with her calling out to Yunaka, even mirrors Micaiah hearing Yune’s voice. For these reasons, I really wish she and Timerra had talked. I think Timerra’s simultaneous hidden wariness and acceptance of people regardless of their backgrounds would definitely play well with Yunaka’s arc. Fogado, as someone who shares Timerra’s ideals, certainly had a positive influence on Yunaka in their supports with his compassion. Plus, can you imagine the silly phrases Timerra and Yunaka would invent together?

I’ll end this before it strays too far from the main point, but I hope someone else enjoys these observations! Timerra is my favorite Engage character, and since Tellius is so dear to me, noticing these connections definitely made her character even more special.

[fillingthescrapbook]

Let's Talk About: Burrow's End and the First Stoats

Hi, invasive investigators!

And speaking of invasive--oof! That ending! But first: What an episode!

My MVP this episode is Brennan Lee Mulligan and his decision to weaponize kindness even when it could backfire majorly. Amazing man.

But I also want to give major props to all the planning Aabria Iyengar has done for this season. The stakes for the stoats would not be this severe had she not mapped the roads that the art department could then pave for the players to take. This was a massive ordeal, and I cannot believe there are three more episodes after this because this felt like finale-levels of heavy.

Guys, one stoat died at the start of the episode. Immediately followed by another one. My heart stopped for far longer than it should have. Honestly, when Aabria said "I'll certainly try!" to Izzy Roland's "Kill them all--" I didn't realize the viewers weren't safe as well.

I mean, she yeeted a player off the table! In the middle of the episode! That is crazy! And then when Sybill was brought in? My thoughts were: "oh no." "Oh no!" "NOOOOOO!!!" and "AABRIA, YOU'RE TRYING TOO HARD TO KILL THE STOATS! NOOOOOO!!!!"

Oh, and I'm not gonna forget: "A WOLF?!", "The flesh easily gives way?! Aabria?!", and "EVOLVE?!"

That was absolutely narsty. And another thing that was narsty? SILENCE. Holy rabbits! Which is something Silence cannot eat--because THEY DO NOT HAVE A JAW. AABRIA.

And then the Natural 1s came rolling in. When Izzy and Siobhan Thompson rolled their twin 1s? Oh. My. Goodness. It was funny when they were rolling against Jasper--who rolled a four and elicited thunderous cheers. But in the middle of a battle? When they are fighting for their lives? Izzy's Lila was down to 2 hit points at one point. And the battle was still far from over at the time!

My goodness. And the thing is, this is a streaming show. I could absolutely pause and take a minute to take a breath. But I didn't. Because the tension is high. And I was already breathing too fast. So I just continued to watch with my eyes growing wider and wider.

And, look: Sybill has a point. What is the plan after this battle? Like, granted, asking in the middle of the battle was not the best time--but she's still right. I can't wait to find out what the answer is next week. Along with what's going on with Aabria's other bombshell. Because, in the words of Rashawn Scott to one Brennan Lee Mulligan, "you're such a secretive bitch!" To which I add, "Tell 'im, Rashawn!"

Stray thoughts time:

I understand that they need to have a teaser at the end of the episodes, but I truly wish we didn't see the second map last week. Because I feel like our reactions would've been just as visceral as the players when Aabria said "now bring in the other map--" had we not known that it was coming.

I've said it once, and I'll say it again: Tula is fucking scary.

The Wolf of Theseus was a fun pun.

Director Dictator Dude feels like a game akin to Fuck Mary Kill.

This is the first time I felt really bogged down by 5e's combat mechanics. No shade to Aabria or the players. I understand that they're going to do what needs to be done because everyone wants to survive. This is completely a system fault for me.

Now let's get to the screencaps:

Oh, and one more thing:

"You stood here for generations... Was that on four legs or two?" Tula asked as she looked down at the downed First Stoat. "The humans are already here."

Chills.

[donutwatches]

MHA 2.16 - Hero Killer: Stain vs U.A. Students - part 2

HAPPY HOLIDAYS! To those who do not celebrate any holidays this time of year, have a very pleasant day!

Our little broccoli is here and he is ready to throw hands.

I love that he quotes All Might here. It is an interesting way of framing heroism, and a perfect response to Iida, who was telling Deku it wasn't his business. To a hero, anyone in trouble is their business.

I love that Deku and Todoroki are just instant friends now. I feel like they never spoke to each other in season 1. They were set up as rivals during the tournament, but they ended up with a powerful bond.

Now when Deku sends his location with no explanation Todoroki just teleports to him like he is Deku's new fairy godmother. A very hot fairy godmother.

It is great to see him openly using his fire side. He has worked through some of his struggles and self-cared his way into arson. My inner pyro is screaming. Let's set things on fire!

This is a creative blood-based ability. I like how specific it is depending on blood type. It gives Stain an intimidating quirk while maintaining good limits to keep things interesting.

He says this lying face down on the gravel after being defeated and nearly getting shanked. Listen, I love Iida, but he is having a moment.

WOOSH FIRE! My hamster brain is so delighted by how gorgeous the flames look. Thank goodness both Deku and Todoroki are NOT having it with Iida right now. Good friends know when to call you out.

Come on, pick yourself up, Iida! This poor kid is going through it. He wanted revenge for his brother, but now his classmates are getting pulled into the line of fire.

I am surprised to see Todoroki reaching out to Iida since Todoroki was so socially withdrawn before. It makes me happy!

This cracked me up because his facial expression is so flat. This is Todoroki's "worried" face: -_-

It is lovely that he is genuinely empathizing with Iida's situation. I did not know I wanted Todoroki and Iida to be friends before this episode but now I need it.

When was the last time she saw her son? Was he 5? Imagine not seeing your kid since they were 5 years old and then they walked through the door at high school age. They were robbed of years they should have had together.

Good for you, 'Roki.

Does Japan have CPS? Because someone needs to file a report on this man, stat.

I get it, since the #2 hero in the country is his Dad, he might as well use Endeavour as a resource to learn about hero work. It is like Todoroki is compartmentalizing Endeavor into two categories: Hero and Dad. Staying emotionally shut off from "Dad" while utilizing the "Hero" side.

It is like a Deku triangle of inspiration. Deku inspired Iida in season 1 ------> Deku inspired Todoroki in the tournament ----->Todoroki is inspiring Iida now. I wonder if Iida will get the chance to inspire both of them in return as the show progresses?

I wish action scenes were not so hard to get good screencaps of. When Stain cut Todoroki and tried to lick his cheek I was screaming so loud. Stain is nasty, lol.

Click here for episode 17

Click here for the masterlist

[scummrevisited]

tumblr is NOT letting me answer this ask directly for some reason so i screencapped it HDFHDG anyways here goes

i vagguelly knew abt otherkin stuff beforehand but that was like. very vague and more in the lense of "eww cringe" bc that was all that was talked abt it

fast forward to me being 16 or so (maybe 17?) and i decide that today on www.tumblr.com im gonna go through the werewolf tag, and between all the art and poems abt werewolves i view a few werewolfkin posts and i go "huh.. thats interesting" bc i only vaguely heard of it but never really looked into it

so i dip my toes into it, and fall into the lake completely, and now im here

from which i will give some advice:

disclaimer: most of this advice comes from a psychological kin perspective, for spiritual stuff i can gather some info if you ask me but overall im not spiritual kin

1: sometimes the answer is not too clear, being alterhuman can stem from many reasons and overlap with many other things, furryness, autism, psychosis, spiritual beliefs, familiarity and importance to an animal or myth, a lot can play into it! for some beings, the experiences are very separate from each other, for others, they may cause each other or be linked or overlap, it can all depend and change around, so dont stress too much on whats what, but if you wish, you can play around and see what belongs to what, ive had the fact im a furry sometimes overlap with the fact im otherkin, and even fuel each other, but i still see them as separate identities, its all a big complicated soup. and i will say to just fuck around and see what labels you see fit

figuring out your kintype can take a while, and its not uncommon that what you first consider to be your kintype may not be the one that you actually feel you are. for example my first through upon discovering kin stuff was that i may be a cat, ive loved cats since i was practically born, ive always wanted to be a cat and themed myself around cats, hell my fursona is a cat! turns out im not one, ive tried and figured stuff out and experimented and well a cat just wasnt it. from this i'd just say to explore different animals or mythic beasts or types of robot etc etc

from that, what has helped me personally to figure out kintype stuff is to see what you desire feel and act, what kind of environment do you crave for? forests? mountains? deserts? theres a lot! what do you wish your body looked like? everyone talks about wanting claws and fangs and such but really think about it, what do you want for your body? what would make you happier? what would make you see your body more as your true self? any particular diet you have or wish to have? any behaviors you've derived from a being? maybe you hiss maybe you bark maybe you knead. do you feel limbs that arent there? such as ears? tails? horns? just look around outside and inside to see what you crave what you do what you want and such

one thing that i did while trying to figure out kin stuff was to just. draw how i view myself in my mind, and not concentrate on design or what i like and dislike on character designs, just like, draw what comes to mind on an "ideal body", you shift around features from the vague idea of who you are in your mind, draw different tails draw different snouts draw different body shapes, and see what fits and sticks, sometimes you can land on yes "thats exactly me", sometimes you can land on "its a vague idea of me but can aid me in figuring it out". thats kinda how it lead to me figuring out im primatekin, i had multiple different attempts and sketches of what i think i look like in my mind, and i just kept going until much trial and error later i found something. it went from "humanoid?" to "halfly animal-like" to "has a long tail" to "small and expressive" and eventually to a primate! (and thats how my mizamonkey design came to be QSHFHD). again for some this may bring a concrete design while to others it may be just a vague guide, not every tip works for everyone.

despite a few points ago where i stated that being obsessed with an animal or myth doesnt always equal to it being your kintype, it sometimes can be! and its sometimes how kintypes can originate to people (if we're taking the psychological otherkin route, this doesnt work too well with spiritual otherkin). sometimes youre just so obsessed and interested with an animal or myth or fiction trope that your brain kinda, adopts it for your identity. this is what happened to me for werewolves, since i was a wee lad ive been OBSESSED with werewolves and i read about them and drew about them and made stories about them that my brain has seemingly just. grabbed it and went "thats you". so look into your childhood or current state of living and see what animals and beings and such you connect with! again just as a few points ago, it doesnt always mean its your kintype, but it can be!

being alterhuman is different for everyone, i sometimes still think of this message i saw ages ago that went "ask 10 therians what being a therian means for them, and you get 11 different answers", so just because this otherkin experiences xyz, doesnt mean everyone does, and vice versa! i used to have a lot of stress about this bc i felt like i was a faker bc i didnt experience like others but after a while i managed to mellow out on it and its making me feel better!

related to that i would be careful about the resources you seek out bc from my experience seeking out resources has been a very 50/50, some tips and advice is great! while others are just why would you follow that. use your critical mind and see what suits you and what helps you.

this is more a personal opinion but i feel like the whole "choosing your kintype" debacle doesnt have a correct and concrete answer. to me if you were to just choose whatever kintype you want it may not actually be the kintype you feel like you are. i would absolutely choose to be a wolverine if i could! but it just doesnt align with my kintype and i cant force it as my kintype even if i tried. i would say that you can "try out" kintypes to see if it fits, its all about experimenting after all. its just that for most, its not as easy as pick and choose. its mainly bc your freely chosen kintype may just not be who you are, if you wanna choose a kintype either way, the community has adopted the term "copinglink" for such. for most alterhumans they did not choose their kintype. again its about trial and error

overall its going to be a lot of trial and error to figure stuff out. it took me 2 years to finally land on my proper kintypes! you may find kintypes and you may drop them. you may find yourself to not be otherkin after all! if you want more personal tips and questions you can message me here or on discord! (but i prefer discord bc tumblrs dm system is kinda cramped and buggy).

[untilteddocument]

After-Action Archive Caves of Qud - The Next Big Step

Welcome again, one and all, to the After-Action Archive! I have a massive feast for you this time, my readers. After the events covered in the last post, things have smoothed out to a large extent, but what came afterward is...

I think I can sum this up by saying that this is Part One of a...I sincerely don't know, it's at least four parts just going by the number of screencaps I have. Though I don't think it reaches nearly the same emotional point as the last post, it goes places. With that in mind, let's get started.

The quest with Pax Klanq went less remarkably in most ways this time than it did last time, so I decided to skip the report for it and proceed directly to the step afterwards. After securing Klanq's assistance, I reported back to Barathrum, and he had something for me to take care of.

Now this seems like a hell of a task. Well, not that the end goal is any less ambitious, but this makes me feel an inkling of its true significance. I do acquiesce, but with no small amount of trepidation.

Thankfully, I already have a trusty pickaxe, and carting the tattoo gun around is not a problem. I visit the rest of the Barathrumites for their input.

Iseppa, concerned with dreams as she often is, marveled at the journey required.

The chef Dardi, meantime, asked me for a favor.

Hortensa, filled with motherly concern, expressed such.

The shopkeeper Mafeo, on the other hand, was filled with more confidence.

The others expressed similar well-wishes and concern, all of which I thanked them for, before I made my final stop.

After paying my respects, I once again "journeyed" to Ezra, and by "journeyed" I mean "I used my recoiler to teleport there, along with my entourage."

Speaking of my entourage, in the intervening time between my defense of Grit Gate, my negotiation with Pax Klanq, and now, I had time to...expand it.

I will start with a more conventional addition. Warden Une is the protector of the anarchist Yd Freehold, a deft hand with the hurdy-gurdy...and a runaway from the Putus Templar. "Kinslaying and treason" sure paints a picture, as does that mask. It marks them as a Murmur, a ritualized symbolic outcast to a certain community of the Putus Templar, though now literal, I guess. My curiosity did get the better of me and I did ask, but they gently rebuffed my questions. Fair enough, and there's more to talk about anyways.

I saw that they had a penetrating radar cyber-implant installed, which lets them see through obstacles in a wide radius, a boon in dark and convoluted spaces. That radius is boosted by compute power, and as luck would have it, I had stumbled across that coronet pre-modded with co-processors, which granted more for the radar to use. Figuring this would be as good a theme to have as any, I outfitted them with more ways to boost compute power (the wrist calcs, and I have a palladium mesh tabard in the works) and ways to use it.

Aside from the penetrating radar, the point-defense drone uses compute power to help track incoming explosives, and I am planning to replace those hand rails with blood-gradient hand vacuums, which have less raw damage and penetration but take advantage of compute power to generate ammo more quickly and can even heal their user.

I also happened to have a spare ceremonial vibrokhopesh, which I modded similarly to Yrame's kit. With their bonus to penetration from Aggressive Stance, Penetrating Strikes, and the vibrokhopesh's sharp mod, Warden Une will be doing plenty of damage even to the most heavily-armored enemies. All this combined with their shield and the skills to use it means they're basically the equal of even the sturdiest Knight-Commanders of the Holy Temple...

...but what's a knight to a god?

-----------------------------------------

By luck, I had stumbled on Oboroqoru's lair while doing a quest on behalf of Indrix. At the time, I wasn't on good enough terms with apes to be welcome there, so I backed off, but thankfully, through various methods, I was able to build my reputation with them in the intervening time such that I could enter with no problems. The trip was largely uneventful, and before long I met the God of Apes and convinced Him to join my cause.

Even a cursory glance at His abilities and skills told me that He's beyond reproach as a combatant. His mighty fists and the cudgel-focused skills He puts to use with them could flatten pretty much anything in a few flurries, and speaking of, He is skilled in multi-weapon fighting. His armor value when properly equipped is absurd, and even getting past that means having to chip away at His 896 HP. He's the ideal tank, perhaps the second-strongest fighter I have on my side.

Who's the strongest? I'll answer a question with a question.

What's a god to a sludge?

-----------------------------------------

Out of the three, I had actually made this soupy sludge's acquaintance first, on my way to find Pax Klanq. This time, I wasted no effort searching for the various liquids to put it over the top, plus my pre-prepared store of cudgels to fill up its pseudopods and keep it generating new ones with each drink it took.

In total, that's forty-five limbs' worth of attacks (I missed one opportunity to force it to make new arms).

While Oboroqoru definitely has it beat in terms of individual hit quality (His strength is far superior, which combined with His fists lets Him overwhelm even well-armored targets) and defense, the sludge has several advantages, not least of which is its whopping 290 quickness, which works very well with its limbs' 100% offhand attack chance. What's more, the liquid pseudopods' special effects are something that Oboroqoru's fists simply can't replicate, offering effects ranging from weapon disarms to confusion to spawning in friendly plants. Anything that tries stepping up is taking their life in their hands.

-----------------------------------------

With my team thus expanded, I returned to Erza with a purpose in addition to hitting up Yla Haj and Sixshrew for whatever new stuff they had in stock. Now, Barathrum had said that the Mark of Death was lost, but in my travels, I had happened across information that gave me a lead.

There are many relics of the past still extant in Qud, with memories painted or even carved into them. On one such relic was part of what I needed.

Rebekah, Resheph's mentor, had stolen the Mark of Death, but on her deathbed, was forgiven by Resheph and buried in Ezra.

The other part came from my first trip to the cemetery, when I spoke to someone who always seemed to spend his time there.

I hailed him and asked him why he always held vigil where he did.

So he would know something of Rebekah's grave, though my curiosity got the better of me first. What deeds did he mean?

He tells me a bit about the mopango, subterranean creatures who have awoken to sapience and philosophy, and while fascinating, I decide to cut to the chase. Being a repentant graverobber, he gave me the expected question.

I consider for a moment. Can I truly count my quest as just? Ambitious, yes. Pivotal, certainly.

Just?

If Barathrum is right and the injunction placed on the planet is over and we're being welcomed into the greater community, responding would likely lead to better lives for all. Medicine, technology, transportation to the stars, the sky was literally the limit.

But what if he was wrong?

What if the message is nothing, just wishful thinking sculpting noise? Doubtful; cagey as he is, I highly doubt Barathrum would move so drastically on a hunch. What if it won't lead to anything good? What if it's a signal of some kind of purge? What if it's further admonishment, an extension of our sentence?

Really, even if so, the answer was clear. Regardless of the message, something up there is calling for us, and to refuse to answer would be to deny important knowledge. If ignorance is bliss, I would wipe the smile off my face.

With this in mind, I honestly answered in the affirmative. That's when he gave me the clue I needed.

The only thing left was to find Rebekah's grave. The cemetery is small, so it didn't take long to find what I was looking for.

And there's the Mark. Unassuming, all things considered, but this would be our key to wider frontiers. With the mark carefully memorized, I returned to Omonporch, where the Barathrumites were busy making their preparations for the Spindle, leaving me to mine.

This is the Death Gate, one of the entrances to the Tomb of the Eaters. The other, the Life Gate, is also sealed, but with no clue on how to open it and no reason to go in that way, it's a non-issue. Here, though...

Well...time to "be dead," I guess.

[kittyball23]

Before you saw Trolls Band Together, what were your predictions when you first saw the trailers??

Ohhhhh boy, I had a lot of predictions! 😆

Most of them were compiled as oneshots in my Trolls 3.0 fic (posted on AO3, Fanfiction.net, and Wattpad) Some of them never made the cut and stayed living in my head, but I’ll be glad to share the ideas from both right here 😊

At the beginning of the movie, I knew there was most likely going to be a prologue, since Trolls and Trolls World Tour both started off this way. I had figured it would either start with Velvet and Veneer actually kidnapping Floyd, or with a musical number by the band (which of course is what ended up happening)

I had thought that the argument/breakup was a result of everybody getting on each others’ nerves, instead of their anger directed towards one of them in particular, in that case, John Dory

I thought that perhaps John Dory and Floyd had reunited at the time that Velvet and Veneer had captured Floyd. Like, say JD and Floyd were singing, the duo heard them, and intended to catch them both so they could have one Troll each, but only managed to swipe Floyd, where JD escaped, promising his bro that he would come back with the other bros as backup to save him (Kinda think along the lines of Toy Story 4, where Forky and Woody tried to make their escape from Gabby Gabby)

I thought that there would be little flashbacks and stuff of the bros in their teenage years scattered throughout the movie (in particular, Floyd and Branch flashbacks, and further their bonding)

I was hoping there would be almost-kisses between Branch and Poppy also scattered throughout the movie (I would’ve been going bonkers collecting screencaps of those) and maybe a scene where Broppy had a mini-date or something and the bros (JD, Bruce, and Clay) harmonized and set the mood for them (think along the lines of Rio’s bus ride scene)

I thought that maybe there would be a scene where Branch chose to give himself up to save Floyd, switching places with him so that his bro could be free of the diamond, but he would be trapped there instead

I thought that maybe the fight scene would be this magical, song-battle thing with Velvet and Veneer’s negative energy battling against the Trolls’ positive energy (think Equestria Girls: Rainbow Rocks’ climax)

I hoped that there would be an implication to Viva getting together with one of the bros (particularly, Clay, since she has already known him for years and they seem to have a good friendship)

One of my BIGGEST wishes was for the Broppy wedding! Like I have mentioned in a couple other posts, Branch’s “let’s go get married!” is what – as Bruce put it – created a seismic shift in my brain 😂 I was pining so much of my hope for them to finally hook up with the marriage and the reception and the kisses and possibly even kiddos… but, I suppose we shall have to wait and see what the franchise’s future will bring us. I guess I’ll just way that I don’t think a Broppy wedding is ruled out completely

Anyway, those were some of the wild things I thought up 😆

[ichigos]

What are some of your favorite episodes of the 2002 anime?

GOOD QUESTION!!! Immaculate even...

There truly are so many good episodes of Tokyo Mew Mew. I'll share some of my favorites under the cut. (Mew Mew Power mention in here too because I won't ever shut up about the English dub).

These will be in order of episode numbers! *cracks knuckles*

I feel that I am not the best with explaining ~why~ I am a fan of something and think my vocabulary is lacking (that is what I get for not reading huh 😔) -- so I'll mainly post screenshots and go: *point* "I like that!" or just type whatever thoughts come to mind when I think about the episodes.

Episode 10 and 11

Grouped together because these go hand-in-hand. These are the episodes where the girls find the final member of their team, Zakuro Fujiwara. She has no intention of joining them in episode 10 (lone wolf ™) but does swing around and joins the girls in episode 11.

Sorry to Mint but the animation when she has her soul crushed is amazing.

Mew Mew Power is especially funny for this scene because the 4Kids dub made Renee (aka Zakuro) say: "I don't need you guys, you're all freaks!" GIRL! What do you mean? You're one too. 🤨

Episode 12

THE TREE EPISODE!!!! Kishigo battle angst.

Aoyama also has so many "standing man emoji" moments in this series and they make me chuckle. The part of the episode where he sees Ichigo as a Mew Mew for the first time (and it's so early on in the series too!!) will never not be a "🧍🏻‍♂️" moment to me.

Episode 18 and 19

Pretty much every two part episode is one of my favorites. These two are no exception. Blue Knight vs Kisshu fight scene.

Episode 21

Mint goes rogue. We see Zakuro do this throughout the series but to see another Mew do the same is all the more refreshing. This is also the closest thing I'll ever get to an "evil" mew mew (a magical girl trope I think about often, and one I wish happened in TMM..) so I like the episodes where they go against (or away I guess) from the rest of the team for that reason.

Episode 25 and 26

Tokyo Tower! Poison moth!! Someone save us!!!

Not only because of the animation but just in general... episode 25 has one of my MOST favorite scenes in the entire series. There is this part where Kisshu is laughing in Ichigos face after the Blue Knight makes his exit. Kisshu is basically like 'ya'll are so cooked!' and it gets extremely quiet when Ichigo says "I won't let you" for the first time and all we hear is the rain in the background.

Ichigo is always standing up for herself in TMM (a quality that I lack in real life, lol) and I think that is why I appreciate/look up to her character so much.

Goose bumps whenever I watch this scene (yes in MMP too).

Episode 35

Soft side of Zakuro. Episode 35 was great for chill Zak moments. She saw herself a lot in this kid.

Everyone and their dog talks about when Zakuro punches Kisshu in the face. I remember watching this part a lot when I was younger and it's definitely a great moment for sure. I love Kisshu but I do like when he gets his shit rocked too.

It's cringe to get your face punched in by a wolfgirl. =/

Episode 37 and 38

Christmas episodes!! + This part specifically.

The whole alien vs human talks in these episodes. 👍👍

Ichigo was filled with so much emotion during this part. Go girl!!

Episode 39

Emo Kishigo angst truthers ™, this episode was made specifically for us. The way this one had an absolute CLUTCH on me. I have watched it an ungodly amount of times.

Dude needs medical attention immediately but he is bleeding out on the rooftops brooding instead, nice.

I love poking fun at Kisshu but the rooftop scene is actually so sad to me. AND.. YA'LL.. THE OST DURING THIS PART?! HELLO!! (x) This track is on repeat in my brain and it never stops.

(I also really like that screencap of Pie going "Tokyo Mew Mew, Die!")

Episode 40

Pudding was my favorite mew growing up so episode 40 makes it as apart of one of my favorites for sure.

I appreciate all of the girls, and while Pudding is not my favorite character from the series today, she is literally the connection between how I met some of good online (and now also irl) friends, LOL.

*points to this video a friend made for me 16 years ago*

Episode 42 and 43

Who let him strike that bisexual pose in the church anyways?

(ALSO ^^^)

Episode 45

If you are a Kishigo truther then I do not need to explain this one. Again, I watched this one an ungodly amount of times. Unhinged.

(Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for yoooou🎶)

Episode 48

More unhinged Kisshu. He has a really insane good laugh in this episode.

Episode 49

BOY HOWDY do I love Pie in this episode. Kisshu talks about not relying on//betraying Deep Blue (basically their Jesus in the series) and Pie CANNOT BELIEVE WHAT HE IS HEARING. He is a loyal to DB and he is pissed about it.

After all they've been through together on their planet and earth.... this conversation ends so cold with Pie going "The next time we meet, we might be enemies..." and when Tart leaves with Kisshu, even he is conflicted.

Episode 50, 51 and 52

Just grouping the last 3 together. We are introduced to the Big Cheese (Deep Blue) in these final episodes.

(The father, the son and the holy spirit respectively.)

Episode 51 has some of the best animation.

(Me during this part and screaming PIE SMILED AT LETTUCE!!!!!!11!!)

I am running out of brain power and the limit of screencaps that I can add to a post so I will end this here tonight.

Watch Tokyo Mew Mew 2002.

[vashtijoy]

when is a rival not a rival?

I want to have a look at the word that’s used for rival here. That’s 好敵手 koutekishu. Also, let’s talk a bit more generally about how Akechi relates to Joker.

First of all, look at those kanji. We’ve got 好, meaning liking, preferred, good, pleasing, or even love. We’ve got 敵, “enemy”. Lastly, we’ve got 手 for arm or hand, but that’s part of the base word 敵手 tekishu—a rival or an enemy, or one of two well-matched enemies.

So what do we get if we make it a “good enemy”, a koutekishu? ejje.weblio tells us it’s an arch-rival, or a worthy opponent. It is distinct from the English word ライバル, “raibaru”, in that it doesn’t mean “a nemesis who is always at odds with you”. raibaru is the word Joker and Akechi typically use—a semi-friendly “let’s get each other”—but at these two intense moments very near the end, it gives way to a statement of something very much more. 

koutekishu is an old word. It gives the statement a formality; it gives it weight; it gives it a literary quality. Note that this isn’t Akechi saying this, with all his formality; it’s Joker. And the more common equivalent usage today is いいライバル ii raibaru—literally, “good rival”, with the 好 of koutekishu substituted for ii, meaning “good”. Does that more modern usage appear anywhere in P5? Well, yeah, since you ask.

Akechi こんな立場じゃなきゃ、いいライバル同士になれたのかもね⋯ konna tachiba ja nakya, ii raibaru doushi ni nareta no kamo ne... Under different circumstances, we could have been great rivals... or perhaps even friends. [lit. If we weren’t in this situation, maybe we could have come to share a worthy adversary relationship.] Imagine if things had been different. The fun we could have had, fighting each other. We might even have been friends.

ii raibaru doushi ni nareta means “we could have become each other’s worthy adversaries”. and it is so stunningly hard to put into sensible English that I’m just going to take liberties out the wazoo with my own translation, which is the bit in bold.

“great rivals” looks like a misreading of ii raibaru. But I like the localisation’s “rivals or perhaps friends”; it sums up the nature of a “worthy adversary”. You like them, you respect them, or you find them fascinating; you wish they could fight alongside you, but because of irreconcilable differences, you oppose them forever. Don’t forget Akechi’s repeated “you truly are interesting”, 君は面白い kimi wa omoshiroi and variants: “you’re interesting, you’re fun!”. Akechi thinks Joker is fascinating. “You’re so interesting” is something I’m sure he says to a lot of people he needs around, of course—but over the course of the year, it becomes true.

So Akechi takes a moment here to think about what might have been, before he puts it behind him—forever, as he intends it to be.

akechi and his reluctant worthy adversary

[oh so many screencaps below the cut]

Akechi’s language repeatedly hammers home this idea of the “worthy adversary”.

Here’s confidant stage 7. This is the first of the four end stages, where everything goes to shit: Akechi has his kill order, we’re into Sae’s palace, and the plan is in motion. Yet in this confidant stage, he seems to give Joker not one but two chances to back out—that is, of course, to prove unworthy of him. Because, as long as Joker is worthy, this fight only ends when one of them is dead—and if Joker is unworthy, then he isn’t deserving of Akechi’s attention or interest.

First, he tells Joker things are in motion that he cannot control—or perhaps, that neither of them can control. Maybe it’s yet another of the parallels he sees between the two of them; Akechi’s path, after all, has struck quite a few obstacles he likely never intended, of which Joker is only the most recent—because back in July, he was still telling the SIU director that the Phantom Thieves would inevitably self-destruct, without his direct involvement. Things are far more complicated now (don’t forget confidant stage 8 is next), but this is still not where Akechi intended this to go, earlier in the year.

Note the sad sprite. I come and go on these; I used to think the very emotional sprites were always performative, but I think I’ve changed my mind. This seems like a point that’s genuinely bothering him, that he has to manage away.

Then there’s the next one, at the end: Akechi offers Joker the chance to dump his friends, do a heel turn, and join him. You can’t actually do this; he seems kind of shocked that he’s misread you, if you agree to think about it. But he wants to see if you would do it:

Of course, Akechi can’t accept, even if he really wants to; even if Joker turns out to be kind of a slimy turncoat there being room for only one of those per game But (and this is to do with quite another facet of Akechi) by giving Joker two chances to back out, Akechi has done something else: he’s shifted the responsibility for Joker’s death onto Joker. Joker’s had every chance to walk away, and he hasn’t done it. You can’t say Akechi didn’t try—and now their fight is going to go all the way....

Here’s the “worthy adversary” chat, from the same scene. Akechi gives Joker the “we are so similar and yet we are on opposing sides” speech. They are, of course, and some of it IMO really is because Akechi is playing detective:

Lastly, here’s confidant stage 8, with Akechi adopting his fucking side-on "I will shoot you now” pose to throw the glove, lol:

Like, seriously: 

SERIOUSLY:

anyway I do love all of this. From the end of confidant stage 2 onwards, this is the softer side of what’s going on in Akechi’s head. This is how, until he’s stripped of his masks in the engine room, he is interpreting their whole relationship: Joker is Akechi’s nemesis, his equal and opposite, the only one who can match him—but who he can never allow to match him. Joker is Moriarty to his Holmes—because it’s all part of his detective fantasy, one of the fantasies that inflates him.

And as long as all that is there, he can’t properly see anything else he may feel. Everything that happens goes into that framework for him, where he’s caught up in a great rivalry with one of the very few people he truly notices. While Joker, of course, is down for the rival thing, but can’t approach the intensity Akechi affords it, because... well... I think we all know why.

[velvetvexations]

I'm answering these via text again because it would take way too long otherwise!

read the screencaps of that one really nasty transradfem you rb'd a little earlier and you know what struck me in particular is, especially as they went on (there were many) it was so interesting seeing how many of them used text like "trans women" almost exclusively for trans women but trans men/mascs got almost exclusively called 'tboys' 'they/hes' 'tmes' 'theyfabsbians (???)' and 'aidans' and not once just called trans men. and i wonder if theres some part of them that is aware of how bad that would look. how much more spiteful that would seem. or at least more obviously full of shit. or maybe its just self-righteous rage idk. it doesn't REALLY matter WHY, its just stomach-curdling dehumanization and its suuuch a bummer. anyway youre great as ever! have a good weekend :)

It's so fucking gross and weird, and blatantly transandrophobic specifically in a way that's undeniable.

The conversations around it have cooled down, but it was disconcerting seeing people act like the reaction to intersex people in athletics is purely transphobic (and only impacting intersex athletes incidentally), when one of the people actually supporting rulings against intersex women is Joanna Harper, a trans woman and scientist. She has previously testified against Caster Semenya on behalf of World Athletics. I support Harper's work in arguing for trans women's inclusion in sport. It is vitally important. I do not wish ill on her whatsoever. But she showcases the huge intersexism problem the wider trans community has, which needs to be more widely acknowledged. ("Hyperandrogenism and women vs women vs men in sport: A Q&A with Joanna Harper" is perhaps the most illustrative example of her views.)

Also, you straight-up have countless numbers of radfems and other transphobes taking the intersex argument into account wrt Imane Khelif and going "yeah well he's still a male sweetie :)" so it's not like you can even say her situation specifically was about trans women even if that was a large part of it.

this isnt a trans related thing but i know you answer asks often so apolgies in advance do you ever get so excited that you just dont do something? like, not "oh i dont have the energy/cant focus/ect" but your just so excited to do something that you literally can't? i'm having that with some videos i wanna watch and its like pleaseeee i just wanna watch themmmm but now i've been plagued with energy

sorry, anon with to much energy again, would like to add i'm not sure if i have adhd or not but i'm leaning towards no cause it would be really inconvenient if i did and also this happens with literally everything not just videos, books, youtube vids(rn), tv shows, games idk how to end this so have a good day!

My problem is definitely in the opposite direction, I never have enough energy. Would that we could switch.

So I will say iirc social murder is a legitimate concept that's typically used to describe the ways that vulnerable populations are quietly killed under the guise of "letting die" such as putting DNRs on disabled patients during covid who had no desire for and indeed no idea they had effectively been marked as "acceptable to let die". It goes along with stuff like abjectification aka a demographic is made into not simply an object or non-human but a monster worthy of being put down. The abjectification of Palestinians is what allows the state of israel to say explicitly or implicitly things like "there are no innocent civilians" Sorry if there's any typos I've missed ^^;;

Pervious anon again to also clarify that social murder is something done systematically and can be done by omission too like the way in which adoptees especially trans racial & international adoptees face higher rates of suicide, risk of harm fron caregives, and medical issues that go treated bc of a lack of family medical history bc were just seen as ungrateful for wanting contact with our families of origin even if it's SOLEY for getting our medical records

Trans ppl of all kinds experience social murder through medical neglect, domestic/caregiver/workplace violence and though omission via lack of legal protection/trans panic defense stuff. Social murder is not something one individual does to another individual though individuals do uphold the systems that allow social murder...it's very uncomfortable to be part of the demographics that are subject to these quiet "letting die" situations and fear that we'll become a statistic and then have ppl try to turn it into an interpersonal gotcha for lateral aggression / separatist purposes so like ty for trying to course correct that Again sorry if we missed any typos and we think your really cool ^^;;

I think that's just a similar name for an entirely different concept, though. I don't know to what extent "social murder" is or was used outside of transradfem circles to mean "canceling but like, evil" but it was the first time I heard either the phrase or that context.

hey as a trans man I just wanted to let you know I really really appreciate your blog and you standing with us, I hope we can all endeavour to stand by each other in times like this. we're stronger together than apart and every trans person, regardless of identity, deserves to have a voice.

It's always my pleasure, anon.

nice transandrophobic opinion, nerd. did you get it from your favorite tankie blogger?

lmao fr I need to start using that

Miss Velvet, I am unfollowing, flambéing, blocking, etc for your dragon ball takes! …just kidding. I love your posts.

I have all the right takes.

youre so cool

I knowwwwww

such a weird assumption that trans women cant be into detrans kink too?? my trans girlfriend was into it and even if i personally wasnt i like being a kink sponge so she could get it all out on me

It's especially bullshit because the coiner of transandrophobia was crucified for a indulging a trans woman with a detrans kink.

out of curiosity. any thoughts on cannibalism? hypothetically of course. fantasy only

Not my thing, although I think the metaphysical idea of incorporating what you eat into your spirit somehow is fascinating.

I checked the post and I'm not seeing ops letting terfs call trans women rapist in the replies Like its not there They were just offline and can't be online to block every shit terf that speaks every three seconds. Also love how that person remived rbs after u saw the post bc they know theyre lying and pretending they're being "dogpiled"

I relaize I might just have all the terfs blocked but my point stabds: this person probably isnt chronically online to argue with every terfs who makes up lies. i sometimes just ignore them bc yhe obly terfs i worry about are the ones who say that shit in real queer spaces an noth their pathetic little blogs

Yeah, like. The idea was that they were deleting one group of radfems and not the other and that just wasn't true. So frustrating, but them killing the reblogs is hilarious as always.

[kingmagnificoofrosas]

Ok, it's time to deep talk even more about Magnifico! Part 1.

Since my analyses have gotten so much love, support and agreement, I feel motivated to continue 💙

In my first analysis I've touched up on many things, but something I want to deepen a little more is his trauma and his responses to it. Next to his character all in one of course.

After watching and rewatching and studying while making screencaps, I found myslef being heart broken for Magnifico even more. He's so horribly misunderstood it blows my mind. People are so freaking mean and ignorant it's insane!

We know that Magnifico was deeply traumatized as a young boy. Most people focus on themselves, their pain and their healing, but Magnifico instead wanted to make sure others will never suffer like he did. Please, let that sink in for a moment. His first response isn't to look at himself but to look at others. He lost everything and what does he want to do? Give! His first impulse was - I need to learn magic, so I can be strong enough to build a place where I can make sure people will never have to endure what I had to. Not "I gotta build myself a safe place so I can never be hurt again" like a little hermit crab hiding in a new house. No, he always looked what he could do for others!

This is one of the most selfless things a human being can do! It's not happening often but it's happening. People with trauma using their trauma as a motivation to help others.

Magnifico's determination to build a save haven for others despite his situation is freaking honarable!

He loves deeply! I did explain that the trauma Magnifico suffered heavily influenced and altered his thinking, his feeling, his actions and decission making.

He loves deeply but his paranoia and fear cloud it. What I mean is, some of his decissons aren't right but this doesn't make him evil! He's like a helicopter parent! His motivation to fiercly protect and keep save is purely love driven and initially right but because of his immense fear and paranoia it's becoming overprotectiveness and that is not the right way.

He never meant harm, he never meant to hurt. He was being too selfless in way. I heard another Magnifico defender say, he did too well.

And it's true.

Magnifico has given so much in his life. Matter of fact, he was absolutely right when he said he gives and gives and gives and yet people still aren't satisfied. And I totally get it! It's real life. People are greedy beings. Give them your little finger and they soon want your whole hand.

The people of Rosas live in total peace. They get everything they could ask for and more. Enough food, good homes they don't even need to pay rent for, enough money ... they get wishes granted every month. Sometimes even more! Magnifico mentioned in the past year he's granted 14 wishes, which means he did grant more than just one every month from time to time.

Magnifico is so much more than his handsome looks and his abilities. Yet, all people saw him as was that. A very handsome genie. Not the benevolent ruler that even made this flourishing life possible in the first place!

And I mean yeah, he said "I'd love to see you try and do my job!" And he's right again. I've never ruled a whole kingdom before and successfully at that! But I can imagine it must be darn hard! Certainly not a piece of cake.

People loved and celebrated him for what he could give and do! But what if he'd been just a regular king without any magic powers to grant wishes?

We see how the people of Rosas reacted after he told them about a threat. In the end they ask for another wish ceremony. And Magnifico snaps at them. He's clearly in distress even though he tries to appear collected and sovereign, and the only thing they care about is getting more wishes granted? Dude, give this poor man a break!

I can totally understand Magnifico having a nervous, emotional breakdown. Add it all up. He's constantly on edge because of his trauma, he always means well but the pressure of his ambitions and his duties as king are weighing him down further, he's constantly triggered, constantly irritable, no one gives a toot (Amaya included) which is like fuel to the fire in his soul, he feels threatened, he's terrified, he feels not understoond, valued and respected and furthermore used and exploited.

See how he make's the wishes spin around him faster and faster here? It's literally symbolic of what's going on in his soul at that moment.

Same as this one does.

The mirror is cracking, meaning his soul is cracking further. He's starting to break.

It's no wonder he loses his cool, really. Everyone would eventually break in such a situation.

Now, back to the whole wishes situation

Stop a moment and look how Magnifico looks at this wish/dream. He adores it, he appreciates it. (It's a happy family btw.) and someone who's as good in reading emotions as I am will see the ever so slight pain swimming along.

As king, it's Magnifico's duty anyway to make sure his kingdom runs well. That his people are safe and content, that there is order. And the whole decission making rests upon his shoulders as well.

Should he be in the leading position he is in? No. No, a person as deeply traumatized as he is, shouldn't. But the fact that he still tries is admirable! He's not in power because he's a power hungry, cruel, cold-hearted, selfish, narcissistic psychopath, like a villian is! He is in power and wants to stay in it, because he wants to protect others! He cares so much more about others, that he stresses himself to the peak of breaking mentally!

His trauma keeps him in this spiral. Trauma driven motivation > stress/trigger > trauma response > desire> action > trauma result/success or failure

Yes, he doesn't grant every wish because his trauma blurrs his judgement. He's so deeply into it that he cannot judge properly. Does this make him evil? Nope. It would be laughable how rediculous the hater's arguements are if it weren't so sad.

The arguement "Magnifico sees the dreams of people as a threat to his power so he steals them and makes people forget them."

🤨 huh?

I could slam my forehead even harder against something other than my hand. 🤦🏻‍♀️ The ignorance hurts!!! Like, have this people even paid any attention? Clearly not.

He never stole anything! Neither did he manipulate, play or lie to people. He left the decission to them. It was an open fact "If you want, you can give me your wish and I will keep it save and eventually grant it." And even if one doesn't give their wish, they are more than welcome to stay in his kingdoom and live a happy life!

Now listen. Magnifico's desire to keep the wishes in the first place isn't out of any bad or ill will! To say he keeps the wishes because he simply likes to be in control over people because of selfish, cruel reasons is a big mount of bullcrap. Look at how this man treats the wishes! Which by the way, to him, resemble his people!

Ah, yes, sooo evil and selfish and ill willed!

If someone sees this, the pure love in his whole bodylanguage, and still claims that this man is evil, actually doesn't give a damn about his people, and takes the wishes just because "powerhungry" has something really wrong!

Should he decide over other peoples dreams and wishes? Not really! This is a grey area. Back to his duty as a king. A king needs to care for his people. Magnifico takes this very seriously. Thanks to his trauma, a bit too much. This might be "not ok" but it doesn't make him evil. Good grief! Urgh!

He loves his people! He keeps the wishes because he thinks that it gives him a better opportunity to keep watch over them! Why does he want to watch over them and have the control? Out of fun? To satisfy his selfish urge to rule over others? No, because -

"Everything, everyhing I do is to make sure that never happens again!"

It's the very same stupid reason people have been villainizing Abuela Alma from Encanto. It makes me fuming mad that people ignor deep trauma and the mental issues that come with it and make such people out to be villains. Abuela treated her whole family unfairly, yes. She was harsh, inconsiderate, cold, stern, overprotective, insensible etc. But why did she act like that? Because she was hecking traumatized!

After she and Mirabel reconcile, she tells her family this :

"I'm so sorry I held on to tight, just so afraid I'd lose you too!"

Aha! Now taken in consideration that she is also deeply traumatized and I mean, pfff, she saw her home town getting burned, had to flee with her 3 newborns and see her soulmate get stabbed to death or even beheaded (we don't know) right in front of her eyes.

Her desire to keep safe was always good but her trauma blinded her to a degree.

A similar case were people have been villainizing a character for having trauma would be the case of Imelda from Coco. Her trauma of losing her husband and having to raise their daughter on her own caused her to forbid music for 2 generations! She was harsh too, and even though her actions concering this might have been wrong, she meant well. Everything she did came from the good motivation to keep her family from experiencing the crushing hurt she had.

Yet another example I've seen Magnifico defenders bring up would be Elsa! Elsa has been born with ice-powers because she's actually part spirit as we've learned in the 2 movie. She got traumatized as a child when she accidentally hurt her little sister Anna. Her response to trauma brings her whole kingdom in danger, even threatens to kill them by freezing them to death, and when Hans and his guards go to find and kill her, she defends herself and almost kills one of the guards. Yet, despite everything, Elsa isn't made to be a villain! She was supposed to be but in the end recieved love and appreciation, while Magnifico didn't?

It makes absolutely no sense.

Does trauma justify wrong actions? No! But it explains them and it certainly doesn't make someone a villain! Goodness gracious! 😩🤌🏼

Alma was obsessed with having the "miracle" controlled because she was terrified if she would lose that control, her past would repeat. She would lose her family.

Elsa abandoned her kingdom because she didn't want to hurt anyone anymore.

Imelda forbade music because she didn't want her family to experience the hurt she did.

All of this Sounds similar, right?

Magnifico obsessivly wanted to stay in control because he was terrified that if he would lose that control, his past would repeat. People will get hurt and lose everything like he did.

He panicked as an unknown light flooded his kingdom and made the wishes rattle.

The very first thing that came to his mind was "threat." And this was ONLY because of his trauma.

More in part 2 ⬇️