#and later im revisiting the professional!!!!

[drabblejester]

Ratio, Sampo, Aventurine, Jing Yuan and Mr Reca overhead reader feels about them (basically reader has a crush on them)

how VARIOUS HSR GUYS would react to OVERHEARING YOU CONFESS!

requested by: anon :3

pairings: ratio, sampo, aventurine, jing yuan, and mr. reca x gn!reader

content warnings: none!!

comments: im devouring a pizza rn as of typing this. its so good.. this one is also in bulletted list bc i didnt get any specifications sorry my liege<3

AVENTURINE:

he overhears you talking on the phone in another room, probably to your friend. he isn’t one to eavesdrop but just this once…

he acts very calm about it, totally poker-faced to the point where you think he didn’t hear for WEEKS

until one night he asks you about it, and tells you to talk to him about it more later.

you fall asleep with him, and when you wake up, you tell him as promised!!

he still has to get used to people. y’know. liking him. so he’s a bit awkward for a while, but he warms up! sadly doesn’t soften up for a LONG while though

SAMPO:

he overhears you talking to an interviewer in belobog talking about a ‘handsome blue haired man’

first of all he is FLATTERED that someone in this cold world actually likes him. second of all he registers that someone likes him about 5 seconds later and panics a bit

truly, his whimsical and silly demeanor has captivated you! but it was meant to be for lying and getting away with things, not actual flirting. so he thinks he’s screwed

but he’s NOT screwed! he makes a plan to corner you later in the night to have a bit of banter, but you end up cornering him!!

you two talk for a bit, you talk about how cool and yummy he is. he says it back and you both end up having a great night! maybe a kiss or two persnaps…

DR. RATIO:

he accidentally peeks over your shoulder at your texts (god damn curiosity) and sees you panic texting someone about the Super Duper Hot Professor Man that just so happened to pass by you. and that’s now standing behind you.

now obviously you probably freak out because oh my gods thats the guy RIGHT BEHIND YOU. you turn around and stammer for a bit

sadly ratio just gives you a dirty look (not on purpose) and tells you to seek knowledge, not him. he winds up lecturing you about feelings and professionalism for a good 20 minutes

you go home and wind down for a bit to process the lecturing, and just hang out. you start to have some second thoughts about everything

until a nice little package arrives at your door, with a nice cooked meal and a note that’s a very passive aggressive way of saying ‘take care of yourself’

JING YUAN:

he overheard you gossiping with the guards, and nothing escapes his ears. he didn’t confront you about it right away of course, since he didn’t want to freak you out or anything

so instead, he just played the waiting game. he waited for weeks upon weeks, hearing all the thoughts you thought about him, and every little thing you tried to do to court him

and he’s flattered!! very flattered actually. he decides to eventually send a guard out with a hand written letter to you, simply saying to meet him at a restaurant he found out you frequented

you two meet there, talk for a bit, but not as a general and you. you talk like strangers but in the best way possible, getting to know even more about eachother!! you eat some yummy food and chitchat the night away

and eventually he brings you back to his place, settling you down with some tea and light snacks. maybe a few long-drawn stories to help you sleep. sadly (or thankfully) he ends up asleep before you, so you have extra time to admire him :3

MR. RECA:

he finds out through social media! you broke his ‘no recording in the studio’ rule, posted a blurry video somewhere, and went absolutely crazy over him in the caption

he’s upset that you broke his rule, but at the same time. thinks its interesting. he doesn’t do much else except revisit the post once more before meeting with you

you two meet up in his office, and he immediately brings up the post. of course you apologize so so hard about breaking the rules, but he waves it off!!

eventually the conversation ends up circling around to emotions (with a bit of help from memokeepering), and you spill all your thoughts and feelings right then and there. he’s slightly shocked, but it soon turns to a smile before politely telling you to leave his office

you’re definitely nervous, but it all fades away once you find out you’ve been casted in the main role alongside him! for better or for worse though, it’s a romance production. that asshole.

im fucking up this pizza rn my lieges its so yummy

[scotisfr]

Effective note-taking while learning an online course

Taking effective notes is more than just jotting down what you hear in a lecture or read in a book: it's a strategic process that enhances your understanding and retention. Whether you're a student, professional, or lifelong learner, mastering the art of note-taking can elevate your ability to learn and apply new concepts.

Understand how you think to adapt your note-taking style

Verbal thinkers:

Process information through words and language.

Excel with text-heavy, sequential note-taking styles.

Visual thinkers:

Object visualizers: Think in detailed images, excel in hands-on fields like art or engineering.

Spatial visualizers: Think in patterns and abstractions, thrive in areas like physics or architecture.

Mixed thinkers:

Combine both styles to adapt based on the situation.

1) Understand the purpose of notes

Before diving into techniques, it's essential to know why you take notes. Effective notes serve three main purposes:

Capture key ideas: Focus on main concepts, not every word.

Aid recall: Notes should act as memory triggers.

Support active learning: Writing notes forces your brain to process information.

2) Prepare before the course

Preview material: Skim the syllabus, course outline or key readings to anticipate important themes.

Gather supplies: Notebook, pens, digital tools (laptops, apps like Google doc, Notion, OneNote, or Evernote).

Verbal thinkers: Use lined notebooks or text-based apps like Word or Google Docs.

Visual thinkers: Use blank notebooks, mind-mapping tools or apps like Milanote.

Mixed thinkers: Use a combination of both formats to capture ideas flexibly.

Set goals: Know what you want to achieve from the course.

3) Choose a note-taking method

a) Linear notes (basic listing)

Write down points in sequential order.

Best for: Simple lectures or storytelling. Best used by: Mixed thinkers

b) Cornell Method

Divide your page into:

Main section: Notes during the lecture.

Cue section: Keywords/questions later.

Summary section: Key takeaways at the bottom.

Best for: Structured review. Best used by: Verbal thinkers

c) Mind maps

Create a visual map with the main topic in the center and branches for subtopics.

Best for: Complex concepts or brainstorming. Best used by: Visual thinkers

d) Outline method

Use bullet points with indentation for hierarchy.

Main Topic

Subtopic

Details

Best for: Well-structured content. Best used by: Verbal thinkers

e) Flow notes

Combine visuals, arrows and text to show connections.

Best for: Dynamic, fast-paced lectures. Best used by: Visual thinkers

4) During the lecture

Listen actively:

Focus on understanding, not transcribing verbatim.

Identify cues:

Look for emphasis (repeated ideas, instructor tone, slides).

Use abbreviations:

Shorten common words (e.g., “w/” for with, “b/c” for because).

Organize on the fly:

Use headings, subheadings and bullet points to keep things structured.

Verbal thinkers: Group ideas under headings or bullet points.

Visual thinkers: Sketch concepts or relationships between topics.

5) After the lecture

Review notes:

Fill in gaps, clarify confusing points and ensure everything makes sense.

Summarize:

Write a brief overview of what you learned.

For verbal thinkers:

Write summaries in your own words to reinforce understanding.

Use mnemonics or word-based memory aids for recall.

For visual thinkers:

Recreate diagrams or visual models from memory.

Annotate your notes with additional visuals to deepen understanding.

For mixed thinkers:

Pair visual summaries (like flowcharts) with verbal descriptions.

Practice explaining concepts both visually and verbally.

Test yourself:

Turn your notes into questions and quiz yourself for better retention.

6) Use digital tools for efficiency

Google docs/Word: Collaborative and easily accessible.

Notion/OneNote: Organize notes by topic with multimedia support.

Audio recorders: Complement notes for revisiting missed points.

7) Tips for retention

Revisit regularly: Spaced repetition improves memory (Ankis cards).

Condense notes: Create cheat sheets for quick revision.

Teach someone else: Explaining the material reinforces your understanding.

Review often: Reinforce your learning by revisiting and reorganizing your notes.

8) Stay organized

Label notes: Course name, date, topic.

Keep sections clear: Separate topics/modules with dividers or digital tags.

Backup notes: Use cloud storage for digital notes.

9) Adapt your style

Not every method works for everyone. Experiment with different approaches to find what resonates with your learning style. You may prefer digital tools, visual techniques like mind maps or traditional handwritten notes.

Bonus : Make note-taking fun!

Learning doesn’t have to feel like a chore. Add creativity to your process:

Gamify learning:

Create quizzes with tools like Kahoot or Quizlet.

Challenge yourself with timed note summaries.

Go visual:

Use colorful infographics or mind maps to highlight connections.

Turn complex ideas into visual stories.

Role-play and scenarios:

Pretend to be an expert and explain your notes to an imaginary audience.

Apply concepts to real-life situations to deepen your understanding.

Mix it up:

Use flashcards for quick reviews.

Watch videos or listen to podcasts on your topic to reinforce learning.

Collaborate:

Discuss your notes with peers or teach someone else for better retention.

Establish a routine:

Dedicate 20–30 minutes daily to review notes.

End each session with a mini-quiz or creative recap.

Bonus : Mastering layout and formatting for effective Notes

A) General layout principles

Start with a clean slate

Use consistent margins for a neat look.

Leave ample white space between sections to avoid visual clutter.

Margins create a visual boundary that organizes content, helping your brain process the information in chunks.

Leave at least one blank line (or 1.5 spacing in digital notes) between different topics or ideas.

They provide room to add comments, symbols or questions during reviews without cluttering the main content.

Number your pages to keep notes in order.

Add descriptive titles for easy navigation.

Include date, course title or lecture topic in the header.

Prioritize legibility

Choose readable fonts if typing (e.g., Arial, Calibri).

Write neatly if using pen and paper.

Use headings and subheadings

Bold or underline main headings.

Use numbered or bullet-point subheadings for organization.

Color coding for clarity

Assign colors to categories (e.g., red for key terms, blue for examples).

Avoid overusing colors: stick to 2–3 for consistency.

Use bold or underlined text for essential ideas.

Highlight terms, dates or definitions for easy scanning.

Handwritten: Invest in multi-colored pens or highlighters for emphasis

Digital: Use formatting tools like bold, italics, and bullet lists.

Visual coding for enhancing the important part

Add icons, images or colors to make connections intuitive.

Insert tables, diagrams, or charts to organize data visually

[expertacademicassignmenthelp]

10 Tips on How to Study for Medical School

Mastering Time Management

Embarking on the journey of medical school introduces a myriad of challenges, chief among them being the effective management of time. Recognizing the seemingly limited hours in a day, the key lies in adopting a day-by-day approach and establishing a routine that fosters success. Prioritizing tasks, meticulous planning, and incorporating strategic breaks are integral components that enhance both confidence and efficacy in the demanding role of a medical student.

Thorough preparation before the commencement of each class is an impactful strategy. Engaging in pre-class reading enables students to gain a deeper grasp of the lecture’s organization, allowing them to focus on pivotal concepts. This not only facilitates active participation but also positions students to ask informed questions, showcasing a genuine interest and mastery of the subject matter.

2. The Power of Note-Taking

In the intricate landscape of medical school, note-taking emerges as a linchpin for success. Beyond the lecture hall, effective note-taking during readings serves as a powerful tool for managing the deluge of information. Organizing this wealth of material systematically, capturing the essence of each concept, transforms these notes into a potent study guide.

Taking notes not only aids in the recording of information but also serves as an invaluable aid in understanding complex material. The act of transcribing information in one’s own words, essentially explaining concepts to oneself, deepens comprehension and acts as a reinforcing mechanism for challenging subjects.

3. Continuous Learning

Unlike the strategies that sufficed during undergraduate studies, medical school demands a paradigm shift toward continuous learning. The vast curriculum and extensive memorization requirements necessitate a commitment to ongoing, consistent learning. Regular self-testing, routine revisiting of material, and the cultivation of ‘clinical pearls’ — succinct, significant pieces of information — become daily habits that fortify a student’s knowledge base.

The concept of ‘clinical pearls’ transcends the classroom, extending into the professional realm of practicing physicians. As future doctors, adopting these daily learning practices positions students on the trajectory of lifelong learning, a cornerstone of the medical profession.

4. Memory Tricks and Mnemonics

Navigating the labyrinthine landscape of medical knowledge requires innovative memory aids, and mnemonic devices emerge as indispensable allies. Acronyms, memorization phrases, and even the melodic arrangement of information to music serve as effective tools for enhancing memory retention.

Physicians themselves often rely on these mnemonic devices, creating a lexicon of memorable acronyms and phrases that enable them to recall critical information effortlessly. From recalling the signs of a stroke to understanding what passes through the placenta, these memory tricks transform the daunting task of memorization into an engaging and effective learning experience.

5. Know Your Study Sweet Zone

Understanding one’s individual learning strengths is a cornerstone of effective study strategies. Every student possesses a unique learning style, whether through auditory, visual, or other methods. Tailoring study techniques to align with these strengths enhances the overall learning experience and optimizes the absorption of complex medical concepts.

For auditory learners, exploring options such as recording lectures for later review over headphones can be particularly beneficial. On the other hand, visual learners may find sketching and diagramming organ systems to be powerful aids for comprehension. The key to success lies in identifying one’s strengths and leveraging them in the pursuit of medical knowledge.

6. Create Your Study Sanctuary

Amidst the bustling demands of medical school, the creation of a dedicated study space, a ‘study palace,’ becomes imperative. This sanctuary, a space entirely under your control, serves as an oasis of concentration free from distractions. Whether it’s a private room at home or a cubicle in the library, this designated study space becomes the canvas for focused and uninterrupted learning.

Minimizing electronic distractions within this study sanctuary is crucial. In an era of constant connectivity, silencing notifications and carving out dedicated time for focused learning contributes significantly to concentration and overall academic success.

7. Seek Help When Needed

Navigating the complexities of medical school inevitably brings moments of challenge and confusion. During these times, the importance of seeking help cannot be overstated. Whether turning to peers, instructors, or professors, recognizing the need for assistance is a strength, not a weakness.

Approaching professors with questions or seeking clarification on unclear concepts is a proactive step toward academic success. Instructors are not only well-equipped to provide guidance but also appreciate students who show initiative in their learning journey. Additionally, post-exam meetings with professors offer invaluable opportunities for deeper insights, clarification, and personalized study techniques.

8. Form Study Groups

The friendships forged in medical school extend beyond mere camaraderie; they become a cornerstone of academic support. The intensity of studying in medical school is a shared experience among peers. Forming study groups not only provides mutual support but also enhances collaborative learning.

Teaching concepts to fellow students within these study groups serves a dual purpose. Not only does it enhance your own understanding of a concept, but it also creates a dynamic and engaging learning environment. As you collectively navigate the challenges of medical school, the bonds formed in these study groups can last a lifetime.

9. Get Quality Sleep

Pulling an all-nighter to study at the last minute is only going to hurt you in the long run. Your brain needs sleep to retain all the information you’re reviewing. Getting enough sleep each night and keeping a fairly regular schedule is vital to feeling and performing your best.

10. Stay Encouraged

You may be accustomed to school success coming easily, but medical school challenges even the brightest students. No matter how challenging the courses, don’t give up. Remember why you started this journey in the first place!

For Instant Health Science Assignment Help Email: williamsliason@outlook.com

[theragethatisdesire]

hi bestie im sure uve been asked a million times but do u have any tips for writing? everything i write feels Bad

HELLOOOOOO nonny from a thousand and five years ago! i am by no means an expert, but these are the things that i've been lent by other far more talented writers that have helped me tremendously<3

dropping a cut to preserve the dash for those who aren't interested:)

i can assure you 200% that none of your writing is Bad. the best tip i have ever received is to look at your writing through a vacuum (to an extent). you will never write "like" your favorite authors; for example, i will only ever write like rage, not like donna tartt, or walt whitman. focusing on developing the voice and talent you already possess instead of trying to imitate was the most difficult hurdle for me to overcome, and i still catch myself doing it!

however, when you find things in other authors you appreciate, really really dig deeply in to see what you can learn from it. i approach this from a sentence level: why did king choose to use this word here, and not that one? how does that play into this character at large? understanding the mechanisms behind your fav authors will not only help you avoid copying them, but recognizing the technique at play that you want to learn and test/manipulate for yourself.

read your dialogue aloud. you will feel stupid. it's okay. this tip from a college professor is what i think levelled up my writing hugely.

revise everything you write three hundred times lol. i still pull up WIPs from 5 years ago to play with and revise, especially when i need to put current works down! it's the most helpful tip i've been given as far as recognizing bad habits, things i don't like about my writing, and things i really like. find what's strong, and repeat tip #2 on your own writing. what, on a molecular level, is making that sentence strong? i am by NO means a professional writer or a professor, but i did study creative writing in school, and these are things i have written down in a little doc when i'm feeling frustrated or at a mental block! by far the four things that have helped me grow the most as a writer. my personal best tip is just to get your thoughts on the page and be patient. i have lost so many good potential wips drabbles fics stories you name it by thinking "ugh, that sounds great, but i'm not advanced enough to write it"/"what if i try it and it's awful:/" who cares!! get it on the page!!! you can always improve or revisit it later if it doesn't meet your expectations. your ideas deserve a breath of fresh air :)

best of luck, and i hope that soon you'll send some writing for me to read and share!! i hope you find these helpful<3

[fatliberation]

hi im struggling with accepting myself and im looking to talk to someone about it, however i dont want to spring this on a random fat person or activist blog because a lot of the details are potentially triggering. do you know of any blogs that are for that kind of thing/would be ok with that kind of thing? its ok if you dont but i just couldnt find any space for it by myself im really very new to fat acceptance stuff

Hello anon! I’m so sorry to hear that you’re struggling. You did the right thing by reaching out! I doubt blogs on tumblr can offer the kind of care that you need, and I recommend seeking professional help. I’ve compiled some resources I hope will be of use to you. ❤️

Crisis text line Text “HOME” to 741741

National eating disorders helpline

95+ Fat-Positive and HAES-Aligned Support Groups, Courses & Workshops Online and Around the World

A list of anti-diet, HAES, and intuitive eating providers for disordered eating recovery

Here’s what to do if you can’t afford therapy

Free evidence-based education and therapy tools (like worksheets and videos and stuff!)

Shame-free self care (fat centered)

Why self-compassion works better than self esteem

If you’re new to fat acceptance, I suggest doing some reading when you’re feeling up to it. Check out my blog, I have tons of educational readings, books, and fat positive content. Always ask if you need help finding something!

Some easy suggestions:

Here’s what fat acceptance is - and isn’t

Everything you know about ob*sity is wrong

The way we talk about our bodies is deeply flawed

“I do not owe you health”: Fat Movements Rethinking Equality

Eating disorder recovery advocacy is usually fatphobic – Here are 4 ways to start fixing that

Revisiting the Fat Liberation Manifesto 46 years later

A bigger database of resources!

Hang in there, dear heart! ❤️ Feel free to reach out if you need any more resources. I’m so proud of you for taking this step. Best wishes on your road to self acceptance. xo

[actualbird]

irt marius has an ankle tattoo HE HAS ONE IT IS VISIBLEEEE

okay so @kamiaka left this reply on that post

Okay but what if it’s a matching tattoo of some kind? Like…with Giann 👀✨ Apparently both of them were really close (plsIjustneedvonhagenbrotherlylovecrumbs)

and now it's BASICALLY CANON TO ME. YES. ABSOLUTELY. I BELIEVE THEYRE VERY CLOSE and that marius we see now misses him so frigging much and will stop at nothing to find giann. but enough about present angst bc it's time to go into the past

yes marius and giann have matching tattoos and heres how they (emotionally) end up getting it

wc: 1.5k

i imagine it goes like. at 15, marius is on a mission to get as MANY PIERCINGS as he can before he goes off to study in Florence. and giann is stressed because okay yes piercings are deffo safe in 2030 as long as u get them done by a professional and marius does get them by a professional! and that bolsters his confidence to go get a tattoo as well because hello?? art on the body??? thats FANTASTIC!!!!

but marius is 15 and hasnt gone thru his insane growth spurt yet (i hc it happened from 16-18 years old) and most sane professionals are NOT gonna tattoo a tiny little tyke, ESPECIALLY NOT A KID WHO IS VERY OBVIOUSLY THE YOUNGEST VON HAGEN, THEY DONT HAVE A DEATH WISH.

(bc listen, by this point in marius' life, giann is 25 and im sure hes made himself quite the bigshot in the business sphere. commanding, confident, friendly, but very much still hiding the snake fangs that everybody in his family has. fiercely protective over his kid brother, too. mess with the kid and ur gonna go bankrupt for generations.)

so yea marius is going into tattoo parlors with a facemask and hoodie as if that makes the DISTINCTIVE PURPLE EYES any less frigging noticeable. and so with every tattoo artist who turns him away, marius gets more and more frustrated and so hes like "fine!! i'll do it myself!!" and since he knows he wont be able to purchase a real tattoo machine since itd get delivered to the house and somebody might open the package (austin and giann are JUST as nosy as marius ends up being when hes older), marius just decides to fuckinnnn

stick n poke himself

which, when done correctly and cleanly, is fine!!

but marius is 15 and stupid and FRUSTRATED and he disinfects NOTHING. giann's "my baby brother is doing something monumentally idiotic" radar pings like crazy at some point, 2am of a saturday, and he just YEETS outta bed and finds marius in the bathroom about to stab himself several times with NOT DISINFECTED ANYTHINGS!!!

marius gets scolded so much and hes not taking it well because shut up!! shut the fuck up!!! he just wants this and if he cant get it he needs to take matters in his own hands and also please dont tell dad because he'll go "im not angry, im just disappointed" which sucks because disappointed hurts MORE and youre better because at least youre actually angry and----

giann, sighing: im not angry, you idiot. im worried. come on, let's go

marius: go? where?

giann: someplace where you can get a tattoo without the hepatitis

2:30am and marius is in the passenger seat of giann's car, excited but also confused because why? whys giann doing this? sure, it's a weekend but surely hes got more important shit to do than indulge his moron brother. but sometimes marius asks himself questions he doesnt want answers to (because what if giann answers "yes"? whatll marius do then but just shrink into himself so that giann never has to deal with him ever again), questions hes scared to get answers to, so he shuts up and just lets himself look forward to this.

he lets himself squawk when giann jokes around and reaches over to ruffle his hair, lets himself give giann a fucking headache by hooking up his phone to the aux cord and playing music he loves that giann cant stand (i currently have no hcs on marius' taste in music, will revisit later), he lets himself go quiet at some point. when a single red light stops them at an intersection, marius looks out the window, at the city asleep and the both of them awake, and part of marius feels like as long as he's got giann with him, everything will always work out.

3:00am they get to the tattoo parlor (and shhhh the parlor is open all hours, idk, theres a LOT of shifts) and giann has a friend there whos an artist, very lovely woman and shes like "heyyy, finally gonna get that serpent design i showed y----OH MY GOD, GIANN, THAT IS A CHILD."

marius, offended: IM FIFTEEN!!!

her: YES. A CHILD. I JUST SAID.

and giann asks her this as a favor. she'll get paid, duh, but the favor here is to just close her eyes at the fact that yes, marius is a child. hell, giann tries to do puppy eyes and they SUCK (marius does it so much better) and she rolls her eyes and agrees because it's obvious that giann just wants to give the world to this kid.

and the way marius is going through her design portfolio with a twinkle in his eye, well---and marius comments on her wonderful command of colors and how she makes sure that no matter the skin tone, the design is always striking and bold---well, that seals the deal. he's deffo somebody who understands the beauty of wearing art on one's skin.

she agrees tho on the condition that the design he picks is a simple one thatll only take one visit, tonight's visit, bc if she has a kid coming back here often, thatll be sketchy. and marius is like ok and he picks the solid black inverted triangle design we see in the linked post above. alls well and good until she asks "cool, where do you want it?"

marius: ankle

her: oh jesus fucking christ

so, context!!! ankle tattoos fucking hurt severely!!! generally, places near bones likely has more nerve endings, and thus hurt very much. less nerve endings are found in places with more fat, and thus are less painful. theres some exceptions to this rule here n there tho, so heres a nifty chart!!! (bc who knows, maybe you, dear reader, want a tattoo. i come from a family of tattoo lovers and my dad has tattoos on backs of both his hands and MANNNN the way he was in agony. fantastic shit to watch)

huh, where was i? OH YEAH. ANKLE. tattoo artist explains to marius that hes signing himself up for a WORLD OF PAIN and hes like "yeah idc" and he doesnt even have a ~profound~ reason for why he wants the ankle, he just thinks it's cool (which is def reason enough, doesnt have to be deep, with tatts, live ur life!!) so he doesnt care

but GIANN DOES

giann: for the love of god, get it somewhere less painful, please

marius: nope! :3

giann: IM NOT WATCHING U CRY

marius: iM!!! NOT GONNA CRY!!!!!

giann: YES YOU WILL!!!

marius: it'll be fine, youre worrying too much. geez, it's as if youre getting the tatt instead of me. i'll be the one to feel it, 'kay? dont make it your problem

giann, groaning: fuck off, im making it OUR problem

and marius watches just absolutely befuddled and awed as giann rolls up his pants cuff and settles down to get the same tattoo design in the same place with marius.

the tattoo artist is impressed and touched. shes been wanting to get giann tattooed for years, she even made him a killer serpent design, but all those years of nagging never worked. what worked was marius. because giann will always give in to that kid.

tattooing time!! marius indeed doesnt cry, where the HELL did this 15 year old get such a high pain tolerance???? giann does shed a few tears tho. and it's hilarious to marius but he lets giann squeeze his hand whenever he needs to.

when it's all done, they both gingerly walk back to the car (ankle tatts r near the bone so walking is gonna have to be gentle for a while) and when theyre in there, marius feels his question from earlier bubble up again.

why did giann do this? whyd he bring marius here when hes so busy? whyd he get a tattoo with marius when he didnt want to for years?

marius doesnt ask. hes too scared of the answer. but giann knows his little brother like the back of his palm.

he reaches over and pats marius on the head a few times and says "anything you wanna do, kid, i'll always have your back."

and so they go home and marius remembers that. giann will always have his back.

he remembers that years later when giann goes missing

and all of a sudden

nobody is in his corner anymore

(bonus: that tatt design the artist made for giann? the serpent? marius gets it on himself at some point, starting from his back shoulder blade and curling up and over to settle its head close to his collarbone. a protective kind of position, wrapped around him and close to his heart.

he gets it not as a eulogy, but as a promise he isnt going to break. hes going to find giann and giann will be okay. he needs to believe this.

because believing otherwise will destroy him)

[lord0f]

For the ask meme! Camellia, ivy, nutmeg, papyrus

Aw thanks for the ask! It got long so here a read more for ya!

Camellia - what were you like when you were younger? Do you think you’ve changed a lot?

As a kid I was incredibly social! I wasn’t the popular kid in school by any means but I loved talking to people and making friends. I was eager to share my interests and play. I was definitely a dork and a was deep into anime around middle school. I also just liked people and wanted to be around them.

Honestly I think in recent years I’ve been trying to recapture some of the unbridled joy I got out of my interests as a kid. While I’m older and wiser now (though certainly no less fallible) and able to consume things with a more critical eye, watching things I love that might be “childish” or “not that good” or “cringe” and openly loving them has been really refreshing! For me right now that means revisiting some old anime faves, sewing tiny clothes for dolls, learning Japanese, and leaning into my 90s anime art roots.

Also I like to think I’m more mature and professional and level headed but every time I give myself that credit I look back two years later and all I can think is how wrong I was haha. Guess it goes to show that we never stop growing and maturing haha!

Ivy - what are your tells for your emotions and moods? How can someone tell you are happy, annoyed, upset, or tired?

I’m think I’m fairly obvious in my emotional tells in how I express myself? (My friends can correct me if I’m wrong haha!) But I also try to declare my emotions outright. When I’m happy, I wanna say so, when I’m tired, i wanna say so. I like people knowing that they’ve improved my day, or that talking with them made me happy. I think people sometimes cant tell if you enjoy their company even if you feel like it’s obvious. So even if it might sound stilted or awkward I think it’s good to tell them you appreciate them!

I think where I falter is that when I’m feeling stressed/depressed/anxious/overwhelmed I tend to use “I’m tired” as a catch-all for everything ; ; so I could definitely stand to express myself a little more clearly when it comes to less positive emotions haha

Nutmeg - how is your room/home decorated? Do you have a specific theme or style going on?

I have a very tiny room so it’s not very decorated! A lot of room is taken up by the bed and storage. But I generally love cluttered cozy wizard vibes and warm colors. Truthfully I just wanna live in a hobbit hole. Heres a pic of one corner of my room currently!

Papyrus - if you put your on-repeat playlist on shuffle what is the first song that comes up? What do you like about it/ associate with it?

Recently I have been (predictably) listening to the Outer Wilds OST on repeat. But for variety, since I have a few on-repeat playlists, I’ll shuffle em all for ya. (Only vibes for one cuz this ask is so long at this point im so sorry)

Outer Wilds OST - The Search by Andrew Prahlow

Vibes- space mystery/searching/discovery/under pressure/urgency/my spaceship is made of wood/melancholy

Songs to Get Shit Done To Playlist - Madamamagoto English Cover by JubyPhonic (original by GigaP/Reol feat Soraru)

The One That Changes Playlist - Fear by Yuki Kajiura from the .Hack//SIGN OST

Songs to Chill TF Out To Playlist - Furthest Star by Dirt Poor Robins

[nordlichtgeschichten]

Writer Asks!

Asks from @writtendevastation :3

1. What are you working on now?

Uhhh, right now, mostly a horror fic for a zine; still got 2 rounds of editing to do. Also currently making the 2nd draft of Finding Magic, but the horror fic has a deadline and I already asked for an extension so uh. Gotta hurry.

2. How long have you been working on this WIP now and has anything changed since I last asked about the WIP??

The horror fic, not too long. Joined the zine server on March 16th, and started some time later. FInding Magic I started when I was... 15?? So 9 years ago maybe? Don’t think much has changed there recently, but I haven’t done much work, either *pensive emoji*

3. How many scrapped WIPs do you have and why did you scrap them?

Not many, most just hibernate indefinitely. I completely scrapped and deleted one story where a bunch of kids (self-inserts for me, my crush, and a few friends, plus some boys to be their love interests) ended up in a fantasy world, and one where the MC runs away from home to live in the forest, but her cat follows her and it was supposed to end with her being basically feral and not quite human anymore. Not deleted, but scrapped, I have one about two horses, one whose human dies when they get attacked during a hunt, making the human’s parents chase out the horse, and the other horse being a wild horse running away from some humans who captured him. Semi-scrapped I also have one about a girl who’s curious about demon stuff, and manages to actually summon a demon who ends up luring her to become a demon herself. Scrapped ‘em because... None of them were very good tbh, though I might revisit some or all of them at some point. Definitely got interested in reworking Dark Sides (the semi-scrapped demon one) a while ago at least. Also semi-scrapped a wlw detective couple, I’ll probably still use the characters but probably in very different roles (maybe a romcom how they meet, or maybe I’ll make them journalists instead one being a writer and the other being a detective)

4. How many OCs do you have across all your WIPs? (im not counting people you give names that are mentioned once and never again)

Many, I never counted.

5. If your characters could be stuck in any video game or tv show, what would it be? Why, and would they survive?

(Gonna save that question and do it as a separate post, I think this’ll be fun but I have enough OCs it’d make this super long)

6. What is the longest time youve worked on a single WIP?

Theoretically... 10 years? I think that’s when I started Changes, but there were long breaks in between.

7. When did you first start writing as either a hobby or full time?

Phew uh, I think I was 10-12? Had some long breaks, tried being more serious when I was 16-19 or so, and got really into it again like 2 years ago at 22 I think. Breaks were shorter if we’re also counting forum RPGs, but still there.

8. What is your average wordgoal for a novel?

For a novel, I’d try to go for 50k or more, but I don’t want/need all I do to be novels; for short stories, there isn’t really a minimum, though I kinda try to go over 1k.

9. How many drafts do you plan to do for any of your WIPs?

Short stories always get 4 drafts, 4th gets posted. Not sure yet for FM (since that’s the most complete one), considering I want to publish that and that means also getting a professional editor etc, but I’d guess at least 2-3? Especially since I don’t outline.

10. Who is the hardest character to write and why?

Hm... The MC for NaNo 2020 who still needs a new name, though that’s not really something about her character but because that was written in 1st person present tense, but I’m more used to 3rd person past tense.

[iphoenixrising]

Check, Please WIP: Part 1-4

AHL!Bitty

I’m going to hell, but… Parse, Bitty, and Jack or PB&J as I’ve seen it, have some wonderful stories in the fandom, and tbh I’ve come to look at Kent Parsons very differently thanks to a few. You can probably check them out on my Ao3 bookmarks and such. 

Notes: 

I know shit all about hockey but damn if I don’t love Check, Please! Not everything is accurate and some details are mine. Like, I’m just going to pretend the Bruins aren’t in Providence, and the Pawtucket Rebels are the AHL team. 

But then, what if Jack and Bits didn’t get that kiss at the end of Jack’s graduation? What if they just stayed the best of friends, pining away at one another until Kent Parson comes back into Jack’s life. Now it’s not just Jack pining, it’s Kent too :D

And, well, after winning the Championship his senior year, bringing that back to Samwell, Eric Bittle might just think he hasn’t had enough Hockey after all.

Really, it’s time to put up or shut up.

** Pro

Of all the things on Kent Parson’s Wish List (winning the Stanley Cup, being on a team he loves, playing hockey for the rest of his life, having a pet and Kit meets all those criteria for so much cute and cuddly), getting his friendship back on track with Jack Zimmermann hadn’t moved down from number 1, ever. 

Things changed after that disaster at his college frat house, then later in Zimm’s first season with the Falconers, Kent wasn’t sure it could even be a wish. 

When it came to hockey, things were always too easy. They never had to talk about it, about what they were doing on the ice. All of that just came like breathing. Parse and Zimms, Zimms and Parse. The whole Zimmermann-Parson No-Look One-Timer was never something they discussed, it was something that just happened. 

On the ice, they were unbeatable, just like in Juniors.

Off the ice...was a different story. 

(Sometimes he dreams about it, finding Jack passed out on the bathroom floor of the hotel, foaming at the mouth, panic and adrenaline hitting Kent hard when he’s pretty sure his best friend, the man he almost-kind of-sometimes loves, is going to die on this floor.)

Jack’s problem with pills started early, around the time he and Kent got serious enough to play for scouts that started coming around with the promise of watching the son of Bad Bob. 

(He was always partially to blame for Jack’s downfall. Kent had been the closest to Jack back then, had seen the signs, had tried to pull him back whenever he could, had been the one to ease Zimms down before every game, to be the one sitting in a corner with the bigger Canadian, running his hands over Jack’s shoulders and holding his hands, checking his breathing, helping him work through the anxiety.)

But, but!

That’s all old history, something Jack probably never wants to revisit ever again (because he cut you out of his life so well–), even when he makes it to the Falconers. 

(After that disaster at his school, well, no wonder.)

And Kent just has to deal with that, has to accept it finally, and just move on. 

(He could have been an Ace, just that fast, playing with Kent’s team of awesome guys. And fuck did it hurt when Jack turned him down flat...)

Until this little shit came along.

** 1

Eric Bittle realizes he’s severely messed up when he doesn’t kiss Jack Zimmermann at graduation. 

For two years, they’ve played hard hockey for Samwell, have gotten close, becoming best friends. They’ve held checking clinics, hugged tightly in cellys, watched boring as hell history documentaries on that god-awful green couch, and pulled each other back from the brink of insanity during midterms and finals. They’ve spent time in the kitchen with Bitty cooking and Jack working at the table. They’ve spent time outside in the quad, bullshittin’ like the oldest friends, chirpin’ back n’ forth like they’re two peas in a pod. 

Jack somehow started being his best friend without even trying. 

The last game showed him how close they’d become when he’s going through the empty rink, making it to the loading dock, just a flash of jersey leading him to Jack hunched over, tears in his eyes. 

The utter agony right there had gone through Bitty like lightning, driving him forward to hop up on the pallets Jack was sitting on, and wrap both arms around those wide shoulders, hold on to ‘im as tight as he can. 

“It ain’t your fault, Jack. You did so good with us. I’m so proud of you, honey, you have no idea. You worked so hard, so hard, Jack.”

“Bits,” is soft and sad, Jack choking a little, but those big arms come around him, crush him against Jack’s chest and the pads he’s still wearing. 

“I know, I know. Sometimes it just isn’t in the cards, no matter how hard we fight. You get that, don’t you? Sometimes it just is what it is.”

“I can’t–” accept that is what Jack wants to say. 

“I know it’s hard, but sometimes all the trainin’ and plannin’ and best of intentions just aren’t enough to tip the scales in your favor.”

And Jack seems to get something there, tightens his arms a little more, and holds on. 

It’s a little while later when Jack’s stopped shaking like a leaf, “I wanted to bring home a Championship. Wanted to make my mark on Samwell.”

“Of course you did–”

“Thought after all this time, everything I owe Samwell and the team, bringing me here, giving me this second chance–”

“Oh Jack,” at this juncture, Bittle’s head is under Jack’s chin. 

“I finally felt like I’d stopped fucking up,” is rough and dark in the quiet of the rink. “I thought coming to Samwell was a...a punishment. I dealt with it because I thought my life was going to start after, when I finished up my degree and got back into the Draft. But that’s...that’s not how it happened. My life started the minute I met you and the team and I remembered why the hell I love hockey so damn much in the first place.”

And if maybe a few slow, shameful tears escaped Bitty, well, no one would ever know.

But they got even closer as Jack’s graduation loomed, and Eric Bittle stayed in his own personal hell of loving Jack so much it ached, but helpless to stay away to protect himself. 

Instead, when Jack pauses at his door, Bits knows what he needs and finds space to lounge on Jack’s bed, scrolling through Twitter while Jack talks about the negotiations with NHL teams or works on his last assignments. 

Watching Jack pack his things, preparing for the Falconer’s training camp, getting ready for the next stage of his life, all of it makes Bits so dang proud and so sad at the same time.

But, well, nothin’ lasts forever, now does it.

When Jack ran all the way back to the Haus just to see him, just to pull him in hard for a desperate last hold, it was all Bits could do to stop from sobbing his heart out.

“–and you’re coming to Providence this summer to stay with me for a while, and-and I’ll be down when I can. You’re going to Skype me all the time. Bits, promise me. All the time.”

“Okay, Jack. Okay.”

Something soft in French that he has no idea what it could possibly mean, but he absolutely imagines Jack pressing a kiss in his hair. 

“I’m sorry, Bits, but I have to go. I...I’ll text you, okay?”

“Okay,” is more watery than he’d like, but he can look up in Jack’s blue, blue eyes and at least feel warm that he’s had this man for as long as he has. When Jack’s hands slide out of his, he somehow doesn’t feel like he’s losing anything at all. 

** 2

And just like that, Jack takes a step in his life he never could have predicted. Like an hour away instead of across the hall is enough to keep holding on, enough that Jack comes to Madison over the summer, enough that he asks Bitty to show him how to use FaceTime and SnapChat. 

It’s enough for Jack to pick him up off his feet every time they meet up and bury his face in Bitty’s hair. It’s enough for Jack to Skype almost nightly while he’s tuckered out in his bed, talking about the joys and pitfalls of being a professional athlete. 

It’s enough that he gets to meet the Falconers long before preseason starts, and the amount of pies he brings is literally obscene.

(It all works out just fine in the end because he goes home with the empty pans. Not a single slice left.)

It’s enough when Jack talks more about life than hockey sometimes, and Bitty is utterly helpless to stop any of it. And it’s funny, he thinks, how he was sure Jack would just flitter out of his life after a while. That they would be reduced to a Skype call once a week maybe when they find the time, then once a month, then not at all, moving into texting once and a while until Jack would be nothing more than one of his best memories of Samwell. 

It’s funny how he thought Jack moving into the NHL, moving to Providence, moving out of the Haus, moving on with his life, would mean also moving on from Eric Bittle.

And my, how wrong he was about all that.

Watching Jack play with the Falconers from the stands with the Stanley Cup on the line is not really where he’d thought he’d be once Jack had graduated. 

But, if anything else, they’ve gotten even closer than before. 

And when the buzzer finally sounds and the Falconers win it, he’s among the crowd running out on the ice for the biggest celly of the year. 

Jack spots him immediately, grabs him up with a victorious roar, and skates around people holding Bitty like a favorite toy until Tater scoops him up from Jack yelling about “Nook pies!”

Marty skates by him, ruffling his hair with something twinkling in his eye. Thirdy hauls him up, too, though Bitty has no idea why all these hockey players are just throwing him around when they’ve just won the Stanley Cup, but he still thinks it’s awful nice of them to include him in their celebration.

He doesn’t go back to Georgia for the summer after all or the next one before he starts his senior year, but goes between staying in Jack’s guest room and the Haus instead. His Mama’s not happy about it at all, but he’s a grown man, so that’s all she can say about that.

So Bitty passes the summer of his Senior year training with Jack or at Faber when the ice is up for grabs, works on some chapters for his someday cookbook, and continues his vlog so everyone can see how superior filo is to choux in the right circumstances.

With the season over after winning the Cup, Jack is over at the Haus more than ever if Bitty’s not in Providence already staying in his guest room. 

It should be strange to answer the door at the Haus on Saturday morning during the summer and see Jack there in his trainers, sweats, and t-shirt, wanting to hang out for the day after he’d put in a few hours at the Falc’s stadium already. 

(“C’mon, Bits. Can’t slack during the summer. You’re the captain. Set an example.”

“Jack, it’s summer. Leave me alone until at least nine am for goodness sake!”

“Not going to happen, bud.”)

It should be strange riding the train or in the passenger seat of Jack’s SUV on their way to Providence while he fiddles with the music and Jack doesn’t complain about the selection. 

It should be strange to wake up on Jack’s couch, laying on a broad shoulder with a heavy arm flopped around Bitty’s waist and logs being sawed in his ear.

It should be strange to know Jack’s kitchen better than the back of his hand, and to be giddy every time there’s a new utensil bought with him in mind.

(“Jack, why in the world would you need a dough scraper of all things?” “Not for me, Bits.”

“O-Oh!”

“Yeah. Thank Tater. He went with me this time. He held up that and said, ‘oh does B have one of these? It looks important.’ I didn’t know so I bought it in case.”)

It should be strange to see Jack’s Skype requests almost every night before bed, or have his former captain sprawled out in Bitty’s full sized bed once Lardo, Ransom, and Holster are already moved out and the new Waffles are well into the first semester of his senior year.

(“Good Lord, Jack, scoot over!”

“Mm.” Jack scootches maybe a foot more so Bitty can climb in beside him, already yawning. “Comfy, bud?”

“Gettin’ there,” and he absolutely ignores how much easier he falls asleep when Jack throws a heavy arm over him.)

It should be strange for Jack to whip him on up in a big hug when he admits the boys voted him as the Captain, and Jack breathes out, “damn right,” too close to his ear.

(“I don’t know if I can do this, Jack.”

“Too bad, Bits. Looks like you’re already doing it.”)

It should be strange for Jack to chirp him about his thesis, about his struggle with Whiskey, about why this darn strudel just won’t turn out right.

(“Jaques Laurant Zimmermann, do not make me ground you from pie.”

“Haha. I know you wouldn’t do that, bud.”

“Oh? Don’t be so sure, Mister.”)

It should be strange to get an earful when his new video comes out and Jack had no idea the jam war was that serious while Bitty has been supplying the Falconers for nearly a year. 

(“Are you kidding? Aunt Judy is really that upset?”

“You have no idea, honey. It’s almost World War III down there.”

“Good thing you’re stuck at Samwell.”

“Good thing is right! I don’t want any part of that mess.”)

But somehow it never is. Strange, that is, to have Jack so much. Even though nothing could happen between them (“Never fall for a straight boy.”), Bitty still can’t let go of Jack, can’t deny him, can’t tell him no, can’t be the one that fails to respond when Jack reaches out for him. 

Even when Kent Parson shows up at a Falcs game and cheers himself hoarse, screams for Jack right there on live TV.

And while trying to get through his dang senior year, trying to get his team to the Eastern Conference, he watches how Jack and Kent start to move back in one another’s orbit.

...which is probably why he doesn’t tell Jack anything about the scouts from the AHL coming to see him after the game with Princeton.

** 3

The Pawtucket Rebels manager, Michael McLean, is the one that meets Bitty with a Standard Player Contract the morning he gets back from Jack’s place when they’re going to be starting in the Frozen Four if they win the next two games.

The weekend away was nice, but he hadn’t been expecting Jack’s intention to introduce him to Kent Parson of the Las Vegas Aces. 

“We’ve already met,” Bitty had filled in, still shaking Kent’s hand with a distant smile on his face, “at the Haus party when he swung on by.”

“Not my best moment,” the Captain admits sheepishly, eyes not meeting Bitty’s, and dang it if the boy ain’t at least a little bit cute. 

“I suppose we all have our days,” Bits just drawls out and gives him a wink. He holds out the plate of fresh cookies as some kind of peace offering. 

The weekend was still nice, being caught up in Kent’s manic energy and Jack’s easy acceptance. But, he starts seeing the signs pretty easily, when Jack’s hand goes to Kent’s shoulder after a good joke, the exchanged glances that linger, the slowly dwindling personal space that used to be there for them. How they start finishing each other’s sentences, and oh, doesn’t it just make his heart give a little beat when he sees them both happy. 

(But doesn’t that just break it at the same dang time. Not only does Jack like men, but he’s already got his sights set on his old boyfriend. It’s almost enough to make a grown man cry. Bitty consoles himself after breaking down in his room on Sunday when Jack and Kent dropped him off at the Haus. Only Senor Bun knew how much he’d ugly cried himself out that night.)

When Mr. McLean gives him the contract to peruse and a business card with his information circled in blue pen, Bitty almost picks up his phone to call Jack, talk about what he would need other than a lawyer to go over this thing. 

He thinks about Kent and calls Coach and Mama the next morning instead, promises to send scanned copies of the contract. Mama asks if this is something he really wants to think about doing after graduation. 

“It’s money, Mama, a lot of money, and who knows? Hockey might not be outta my heart just yet. I’ll still have time for everything else.”

He only feels a little bit bad when Jack Skypes him on a roadie, set-up in a hotel, asks how his darn thesis is going, and promises to be at the next home game. 

Kent joins the call while Bits is slid down all snug and sleepy-eyed, kids around with him by making kissy faces. 

“College is brutal, Bits. You aren’t sleeping enough.”

“Well, now that’s life, ain’t it?”

Bitty knows something’s going on between them because Kent is shaking a finger at the screen and lecturing him about procrastination while Kit snoozes on. He’d only known if Jack told him about it.

“Bits, your thesis is basically about baking. Baking is the thing you love that isn’t hockey.”

“That doesn’t make it any easier,” Bitty slurs tiredly, wondering how he’s talking to the man that’s swiping his unrequited crush right out from under him even though he doesn’t even feel too bad about it. Not when he sees how good Kent is for Jack now, even if that hadn’t always been the case.

(Long as it makes Jack happy, I can endure it. It’s tough, but I’m tougher.)

But really. Kent Parson is so different from his image as the Captain of the Aces, Bitty can’t help but genuinely like the man. 

“I’m so jealous. I love peppermint cookies and I’ve never gotten any sent to me!”

Sleepy time Bitty makes a note of that even when the world fuzzes out a little bit more.  

“God, he’s so cute, Zimms.”

“Euh. He really is, Kenny. We should hang-up and let him sleep.”

Or he might of just dreamed that part.

The Aces have a hard game coming up, and he’s got his outline done, so the Haus is finally going to let him alone long enough to bake one single, solitary pie. In the middle of it, he certainly doesn’t expect Jack to show up with a six pack of Molson Blue, apparently assuming they’re going to watch it together and cheer on Kent.

“But I expect you to cheer for the Falcs when it comes down to us and the Aces, Bits.”

“Oh honey, I always root for the underdog anyhow.”

The chirp makes Jack flop back on his bed and laugh hard enough for tears to be in his eyes. Bitty just goes back to the Aces on his laptop and drinks Jack’s awful beer with a smirk.

He stirs a little from sleep to Jack talking softly beside him in bed since “It’s too late to drive back to Providence tonight. Move over, bud.”

He mutters something maybe, sighing instead when fingers comb through his hair. 

“That W was perfection, Parse. You were skating your best life out there, eh?...sleeping right now. Yeah, senior year is a pain in the ass...you bet I miss you. Three weeks, we’ll be close enough to Vegas...yeah, I’ll try to get him to come along, but the Wellies are getting closer to the Championship...he would kill to bring it home for the boys.”

But he probably imagined all that, too. 

Still, he’s got a short break before the next round of games, and just five days until his deadline to let Mr. McLean have his answer when Jack shows up at the Haus and is apparently confused why Bitty isn’t packed for Vegas.

“What do you mean we’re going to Las Vegas, Jack?!” Because this is the first he’s heard about it, and how does Jack already have a plane ticket for him?

“Come off it, bud. If I go there without you, Kenny will never forgive me.”

“How does he even know I don’t have a game?” He frets while putting sleep shorts in a suitcase, wonders if he should bring one of his suits since Jack is already wearing one. 

Jack’s brows scrunch together, “Don’t you talk to him on that–that bird one? All the time? He says he always reads your updates.”

He pauses with a pair of boxer briefs and gives Jack his very best unimpressed expression, “Jack, sweet pea, please tell me you didn’t just refer to Twitter as that bird one?” He carefully does not say anything about Kent Parson checking his Twitter updates.

The soft smile and shrug in reply answers that now doesn’t it.

“I swear, what would you do without me,” he sighs, a little throb of love getting caught in his chest, and he just busies himself right on past it, going for at least one pair of flip flops probably buried under mounds of winter gear. 

“Honestly? If I didn’t have you these last few years, maybe it would have been like what happened when I was in the Q,” Jack leans back on his elbows on Bitty’s bed, right beside the suitcase he’s quickly trying to pack. Being stuck between two button-ups, biting his bottom lip because he’s already bringing so much takes a backseat when Jack mentions the days he was in Juniors, and Bitty feels his eyebrows raise. 

“When we started checking clinics, you and me, that was the most...balanced I ever started feeling after all that. The, ah, overdose. That...that might have been where I ended up if it hadn’t been for you and Samwell.”

With a breath (because Lord, here was Jack finally talking about it, in such a soft tone, his eyes so very blue, and just! Well, he’s not made of stone and this is Jack), he scoots the suitcase back and plops right down on the bed, reaching for Jack’s hand. He carefully looks at the closed door and rubs those big fingers with his thumb.

“You honestly think you would have made those same mistakes without me, Jack?” He tries to be nice about it, “because I sure as heck don’t.”

His fingers tighten around Bitty’s, a squeeze, a soft thank-you.

“I mean, I didn’t know you back then, so I can’t say who you were, but there are some parts of that Jack left in the one I know now. And the Jack I know now is someone that knows how to lead his team, and takes care of them, who knows how to inspire them. The Jack I know got up extra early just to help this hopeless case learn to overcome his fear and be able to play hockey better than he ever could have before. You helped me not just be able to take the check, but I’m a captain, a center, and I earned it because of you. The Jack I know is selfless in so many ways and selfish in just the right ones, and dang it, he’s my best friend, so you better not say anything else like that about him again.”

The bed shifts under him when Jack sits up, a big hand coming up to palm the side of Bitty’s face so Jack can lean his forehead in, look straight at him from just inches away with those stupidly big blue eyes, and be so warm and just Jack. 

“You were never hopeless, Bits,” and with his voice that low, being this close, Bitty feels his cheeks getting warm, his eyes helplessly sliding down to Jack’s mouth.

The errant thought Vegas, we’re going to Vegas shakes him out of the moment, and he pats Jack’s forearm, gently pulling back from the very intense, heart-stopping moment where his brain almost killed him when it told him to just go on and kiss Jack.

But his brain also knows it would probably be the last thing he’d ever do with Jack because Jack has Kent for that now, doesn’t he?

Mentally shaking himself, Bitty stands quickly, goes back to his suitcase, “All right, now for heaven’s sake, Jack, help me here. I’ve never been to Las Vegas–”

And it’s not nearly as hot in Georgia as it is in Las Vegas when they get off the plane, but everything else about it is incredible. 

(He doesn’t think about how nice it was to ride next to Jack on the plane, talking strategy and the team, the upcoming games and new plays they might bring to the ice. It’s nice to hear about the Falcs eating his peanut butter and jelly sandwiches with hollers for more. The pies never last long and cookies are always a favorite.)

He might have worried for about a minute, fiddling with the Uber app on his phone to update his location, but Jack just lays a hand on his back and guides him out of the terminal. 

“Don’t worry about it, Bits, we’ve got a ride.”

And standing by a stunning red Ferrari is Kent Parson himself, grinning wide under his sunglasses.

“Oh my,” even if it’s a little breathless, he gives himself an out here because wow, it’s a nice car. 

(And he is not at all looking at Kent’s bare arms or muscled calves. Absolutely not. He’s already got one heartache, thank-you very much.)

He still squeaks a little when Kent literally picks him up off his feet and swings him around.

“There’s my guys! Falconers and Rebels!” Kent yells for half the airport to hear. 

Jack blinks and Bitty groans softly.

Those blue eyes aren’t accusing him of anything, but it’s that same confused look when he tries to figure out if the next song is Destiny’s Child or Queen Bey herself.

“Rebels?”

He doesn’t wince, but it’s a close thing.

“I’ll...tell you about it later.” He waves off, deflecting perfectly, and snaps up his luggage again now that he’s on his feet.

“Oh,” Kent looks from him to Jack and back to him, and his mouth opens probably to say something else no one else needs to hear.

“Thank-you for coming to pick us up, by the way,” he starts rambling right on, “I’ve never been to Las Vegas before. And we’re even going to watch a game? How exciting! Should I make something for your team? A good luck something maybe? Is there a grocery store close to your house? Can we stop? Maybe I could do a few apple pies and a strawberry one...?”

“You can make me food all day, B,” Kent smiles so wide and white down at him and just swipes his bag right up out of Bitty’s hand like it weighs nothing at all. “My favorite pie is peach, just in case you were wondering.”

Bitty slaps him right on the arm, absolutely offended. “Kenneth Virgil Parson the Third, like I wouldn’t already know what your favorite pie is! Why of all the nerve!”

And that is how Bitty talked himself right out of the AHL conversation with Jack. At least, for the time being. 

**

In the end, he makes two apples, two strawberries, and three peach pies, one for Kenny to keep at home.

Jack mutters under his breath about the Falcs needing a peach pie, and Bitty can absolutely do that once they get back home. 

The boys are wonderful at keeping him company in Kent’s big kitchen while he works, staying out of his way unless he directs them. 

“It’s not going to be a super exciting game. The Schooners are old rivals since before I came to the Aces,” Kenny shrugs, fish oven mitts on, and his own apron is really just Kit’s face blown up on a white background.

But the man’s fish oven mitt is–

Wait for it

– named Fish.

Because Kent is a master at naming things, obviously.

Kit Puurson is laying on the kitchen table from where Bitty banished her from walking along the counters while he’s baking.

“Now, don’t sell it short, sugar pie,” Bitty replies absently, makes the lattice on the last pie perfect. The A in the center is going to be great once the pie finishes baking. “It’s going to be exciting to see you play live no matter what.”

“Aw,” and Kent is smiling all nice at him now that he probably knows Bitty’s not gunning for his boyfr- for Jack, “you’re just saying that because it’s true.”

“Of course I am, Kent. It is true.”

“Any time you get bored of watching the Falcs, all you have to do is call me, Bits. I’ll have you on a plane in a hot minute,” and Bitty has to look over at him for that because it might have been a chirp at Jack, but the tone was a lil’ too serious for his taste.

“Who knows, Mister Parson, I might take you up on that someday.”

(When hell freezes over.)

“I hope so, Bits,” Kent’s eyes go to the masterpieces on the counter waiting for their turn in the oven, “I really hope so.”

*

At the game later that night, before the Aces take the ice, Bitty gets a Snap from Kent Parson. 

All the pie pans are licked clean. Not a crumb in sight.

Bitty sighs in unmitigated relief.

Even though he feels strange not wearing a Falconers or Samwell jersey when he’s at a hockey game, he can’t blame Jack for leaving their home team merchandise back in Providence. 

Earlier, Kent had tugged an Ace's jersey over his head and landed a cap as the cherry on top, winking at him while Jack was busy grumbling to himself about something or other. 

It feels odd to have someone’s name across his back other than his own (or frankly Zimmermann because Jack already gave him two hoodies and several other Falcs shirts, which was real kind of him, and they’re such nice clothes!), but his Mama would fly up from Georgia and whoop his butt good if she knew he’d refused a gift from a celebrity. 

So, even with Jack scowling, he accepts the jersey and hat for the game tonight.

He and Jack find their seats, right behind the bench, and it looks like they can finally settle in.

Jack keeps a running monologue of stats and predictions, leaning in to Bitty while eating the carrot sticks they'd packed in so Jack wouldn't be tempted with junk food.

This boy and his rigid schedule of cheat days. Honestly.

And Bitty is content to talk hockey and the upcoming season, is content to talk about the Samwell team and the next game coming up. 

He gets to watch Kent and the Aces make an opening lap around the rink to wave at their fans, laughs at the finger guns right in their direction.  

He settles on in to watch what will probably be a good game no matter what Kent said earlier, and of course, Jack chooses then to bring it up.

"Are you going to tell me about the Rebels anytime soon?” Jack is watching the game when he finally says it, something in his tone of voice that sounds a little closer to mad.

Bitty looks over, guilty as sin, and Jack looks back, all kind of calm.

��I...I didn’t make a decision or anything–” he starts then turns away from those blue eyes. “I-I should go get us something to drink! Jack, what do you want to–”

He’s halfway out of his chair, but Jack’s hand on his wrist stops him, pulls him back down to his seat.

“Don’t be mad!” Bitty sighs, loud and long, “I didn’t even know what to do when Mr. McLean came to see me.”

Jack hums, “You could have called your best friend who happens to be a professional hockey player.”

“That will be enough chirps outta you, Mister Zimmermann. You were already having a time with the changes to your medication, and I didn’t want to add anything else to your list.”

Jack guffaws at him, “that was two months ago, Bits, and my anxiety is under control. You could have told me anytime since then.”

“Well, I–” and Bitty has a moment where his mouth almost runs right away with him, and he almost tells Jack they ain’t datin’ so not everything has to be out in the open.

“You?”

And even though Kent has the puck, Jack’s eyes are all for Bitty.

“Jack,” he sighs, rubbing the bridge of his nose.

“You can tell me anything. You know that, right bud?” And that line between his eyebrows lets Bitty know Jack is actually concerned.

“Of course, Jack, I...I just. I don’t know, you’ve got your own career to worry about, and I don’t even know if I still want to play hockey after graduation, nonetheless with a team in the AHL.” He shrugs lamely, pretty sure Jack probably thinks he’s an idiot.

“There’s nothing wrong with that, Bits. You don’t have to make a decision right away.”

“Well, I’ve got about five days until he wants to know if I accept their offer,” Bitty rubs the back of his neck, cheeks pink. 

“Oh. Well, you should let me read the contract anyway, eh? At the very least, it could help you make a decision if the offer isn’t for much.”

“If– I mean, if you want to? That would be real nice.”

“Euh. Tomorrow morning after my run, we’ll look at it.” Jack gives a sharp nod like he’s accomplished something, pats Bitty on the shoulder, and goes back to the game, just as pleased as pie.

**

The win was really something for the Aces, and he gets to meet Swoops, Poots, Scrappy, and Gopher when Kent tells them the baker of the pies is at the game.

“Oh my God, I ate like three pieces,” Swoops pats him on the shoulder and laughs.

“I’m so glad you enjoyed it!”

“Oh totally. Gopher can’t help himself around sweets, so you might get a marriage proposal if you aren’t careful.”

“O-oh my! That’s mighty sweet, but I would hate to have to break his poor heart.” Bitty laughs a little and doesn’t notice how Jack’s eyes narrow. 

It’s entertaining as all get out when Jack groans at the amount of chirps he’s already gotten for being a Falc instead of an Ace.

“He’s got important...things in Rhode Island,” Kent had finally said to his team, which Bitty did not understand at all.

(But, it does make sense. Jack wants to stay close to Shitty and everyone from Samwell. He couldn’t be part of their nearly everyday lives if he had joined the Aces.)

They drop by Kent’s house to change clothes, and head out to celebrate the victory with the team, and all that fluttering around his room at the Haus is suddenly worth it when he looks damn good in his button-up with a black tank top underneath and a pair of shorts that look like they’ve been painted on his ass.

When he comes downstairs, Kent wolf whistles and Jack gets red in the face.

“Are you sure–” Jack starts, a little stuttery that makes Bitty preen.

“Mister Zimmermann, it’s best you do not finish that sentence,” Bitty snipes with his nose in the air.

It’s absolutely satisfying when two very cute boys dance with him at the club, grinding on him and having a heck of a good time.

He doesn’t notice Jack’s sour face until the third or fourth song in, and by then, Kent is making his way through the crowd. 

The hand on his arm pulls him out from between two different boys, and Bitty is just about to give whoever it is what for, but Kent just shifts to grip his hips and pulls him in, back-to-chest. 

And Lord help him, Kent is an amazing dancer. How does he even get himself into these things?

** 

Watching his favorite person, favorite people, dance is giving Jack too many Ideas.

He already has plenty when it comes to Bits. Even more when it comes to Kenny since they have history to fall back on, but for Kenny and Bits? His brain might shut down because Jack is even more invested in that. 

(Kenny hasn’t said anything, but Jack knows him, knows what the look in those eyes means when he watches Bitty. Instead of Kenny trying to talk him into asking Bitty for a date, maybe Jack should be trying to do the same. Or-or talking about if all three of them…?)

As is, Jack has a lot more thinking to do after this trip.

“I swear I take care of him as much as he lets me,” Jeff is saying, “it’s not like it’s his first year anymore. He’s way past all that, Jack.”

“I know,” Jack downs his beer, tries not to be too irritated at Swoops because of the attitude. Since he and Kenny have been talking again, he knows more about that first year with the Aces and Kenny’s struggles after the Draft than he’d wanted to know at the time. He hadn’t wanted to focus on the difficulties his best friend was having with a new career as a professional athlete, was more concerned about getting himself through rehab. 

He’s been finding out about those struggles and bad times, feels better knowing about all the things he’d missed out on back then because that means Kenny is talking to him again.

(“You cut me out!” Still haunts Jack sometimes when he thinks about how he did that to his best friend, his other half. At the time, it had seemed like a trade he didn’t have any other choice but to make, give up his best friend for the chance to get better.)

Jeff was the Ace Kenny billeted with his first year, and the two are close. Maybe even closer than Jack and Kenny had been in the Q. 

He doesn’t deserve to be jealous of that, but somehow, he still is.

“I did him wrong when he was in the Draft,” Jack finally admits to Swoops, “and I’m glad he had you and the team there when he needed you. I just...I just want to make sure he’s okay. Kenny means a lot to me.”

Swoops raises a brow over the beer he’s drinking. “He was pretty torn up over you that first year, Zimmermann. If I could have, I would have found you and punched you right in the nose for that kid.”

Jack shrugs a shoulder, “would have deserved it.”

“Yeah, yeah you would have,” but it seems like the salt has gone out of Jeff’s spine, and he slumps down in his seat across from Jack. “I had to tell the team not to mention your name for a long time. Not gonna lie, when you got picked for the Falcs, I drove over to his place and stayed the night in case he had a breakdown.”

And oh does that hit Jack right in the heart. 

“But, he was...not okay but okay? He was happy for you, is the point.”

Jack’s heart twists painfully at that, “Euh. He’s a better friend than I deserve.”

“You know, he told me about going to your college, right?”

Jack looks Swoops in the face, thinks he might get a little more clarity about that night of the Epikegster.

“Yeah, he did,” because Jeff can read the tell me more on Jack’s face, “and he beat himself up about it for months. Told me he ran off at the mouth because he was angry at you. Hell, you weren’t even happy to see him.”

At the time, no. No, he wasn’t. 

“It was...a shock. We both said some pretty harsh things, I think. But, we’ve come a long way since then.”

“I’d say so. He can say your name without looking like he’s going to start crying now at least.”

Kenny…

“I’m not going to do that again,” Jack feels like he needs Jeff to know this. “He’s stuck with me this time, eh?”

Swoops laughs and raises his glass for Jack to tap with his own, “here’s hoping, Zimmermann. Here’s hoping. But hey, at least he has someone to help pick-up the pieces.”

**

Kent manages to get them through the throng of people at the bar and get them bottles of water, bracketing Bitty in with his arms to keep people around from jostling them.

They’re both sweaty and panting after the last song, and Bitty doesn’t even know how he managed to survive pretty much humping a professional hockey player on the dance floor without embarrassing himself.

“That was so fun,” Kent leans down to talk in his ear since they’re so close to the music, “can we dance some more?”

“Of course we can, honey,” Bitty tilts so he’s talking in Kent’s ear, and it presses them closer together, “but do you need to check in with your team?”

The laugh is low against his neck and Bitty almost, almost shudders.

“My guys are big boys, Bits. They’ll be fine without me mother-henning them to death.”

“Well, all right then, handsome. You’d better get me on out on that dance floor before someone else does!”

And it’s another song or so before they get a slow one. Kent manages to maneuver them into a corner, and pulls Bits in for a slow dance.

“Lord, that was fun,” Bitty doesn’t think much of it, his hands around Kent’s neck. “I don’t think I’ve had this much fun in a while.”

“I’m glad to hear it,” and Kent gives him that big ole’ smile that makes his whole face light up, and Bitty can’t really blame just one bit for just how cute Kent is in that moment. “I’m glad you came with Jack, Bits.”

“Me too. I had reservations with how close we’re getting to playoffs, but I’m glad I could take the time.”

The hands on his hips squeeze once, and Kent’s face falls, his eyes darting away.

Bitty moves a hand from around his neck to his face and turns him right on back. “Hey, what is it? Should we go?”

“N-no, no. I was just–” and Kent looks back at him with a frown, leans in a little to talk quieter. “Do you still hate me? From when I came to your college?”

And oh. Oh my.

Well, looks like they’re going to have this talk, aren’t they?

“I mean, it’s okay if you do. I was...a dick, okay? I was a complete and total dick. Zimms and I talked about it some, so-so he gets why I said some of the things I said because I mean, he just–and-and I… There’s a lot is all I’m saying. It was awful, not-not all of it, but therapy kind of helps a little? Sometimes it helps I mean, dealing with it when I found him like that, and then later when Big Bob–”

Bitty gently puts a hand over Kent’s mouth to shush him on up. 

“Kent, honey,” he tries softly, misses how those eyes get wide above his hand, “I understand how someone can say mean things when feelings are hurt, and it seems like you and Jack have mended fences since then, right?”

Kent nods without dislodging his hand, but his eyes are shiny and just oh, that poor boy. Jack had talked to him about those days back in Quebec with Kent Parson as his right-hand man, Bitty knows Kent is the one that saved Jack’s life during that overdose. He knows how quiet and strained Jack’s voice gets when he talks about it, can only imagine how terrified Kent had been finding him, performing CPR, getting him to the hospital in Bad Bob Zimmermann’s car.

He can’t touch that painful past for either of them, wishes sometimes he can give that back when he hears how wistful Jack sounds, sees how Kent sometimes looks like he has regrets. No, Bitty can’t fix their past for them, give them back their innocent days, but he can help the people they are in the here and now, can’t he?

“Well, that’s good to hear. What’s really important is that you don’t do that again, all right? Don’t take your anger out on Jack even if he might deserve it sometimes, and don’t ever say those horrible things to him again. Okay?”

Kent blinks at him and his eyes go softly half-mast. He finally nods with Bitty’s hand still over his mouth.

“Good. Then, we’re all fine, right?”

Another nod and a squeeze to his hips.

“Wonderful. Now Mister Parson, we are going to finish this song and then go back to your boys to celebrate. Maybe if we’re lucky, they’ll play ‘Crazy in Love’ later because that is one of my favorites.” He takes his hand away and grins up at Kent while his heart beats harder at the soft smile looking down on him.

“Good plan, B. If they play it, you can only dance with me, okay?”

“Well, when you put it like that, how can I refuse?”

Sure enough, the DJ plays ‘Crazy in Love’ and Bitty is pretty sure Kent’s the one that asked for it. That absolutely doesn’t mean he gives it any less ass shaking than it rightfully deserves.

**

He’s happy to see Jack laughing with Swoops and Poots when they finally tear themselves away from dancing, and Bitty absolutely refuses to drink whatever fruity thing Kent offers him because he’s not twenty-one quite yet, thank-you very much Mister Parson.

But the Aces are so nice when they leave, thanking Bitty again for his victory pies. He waves them off and doesn’t mind Jack’s hand at the small of his back when Kent guides them out.

(Later that night, he pretends he doesn’t hear Jack get up off the couch and walk down the hall to Kent’s room and softly close the door. But at that point, he’s not sure if he’s still a little jealous, or even who he’s really jealous of if he’s honest with himself.)

He eventually gets a few hours of sleep, and still wakes up god-awful early anyhow.

Since he’s been in this kitchen for three days already, he automatically puts on coffee and pulls out what he’s going to need to feed two big hockey players. 

He doesn’t even register Kent in the doorway watching him until the first cup of coffee is gone and the second is on the way there.

“Oh my Lord!” He fairly screams when he notices Kent watching.

“Sorry,” is totally unrepentant, the ass.

“You sure look it!” Bitty chirps back after his heart has climbed down out of his throat. “Goodness sakes, were you trying to give me a heart attack?”

“Nah, you just look cute in my kitchen, all busy and stuff. I like it.”

And well, that just takes the words right out of his mouth, so he goes back to make sure the bacon doesn’t burn while the quiche cools.

“Bits?!”

Jack is flustered and drenched from the shower, skittering almost right on the ground. He’s only got a towel around his waist and his hair is all over the place.

Bitty can resolutely say it’s the best morning in the history of mornings because that towel is awful short and Jack’s legs are awful long.

“I’m sorry! He just surprised me, we’re fine!” Bitty flaps his hands to shoo Jack out of the doorway. “Go on now and finish your shower. Breakfast is almost ready.”

Jack wipes water out of his eyes from his dripping hair and looks down at him silently.

“I promise, Jack. Go on now. Shoo! Naked is for the bathroom and the locker room.”

The slow grin is really just the nail in the coffin because no man should be that beautiful, it’s really not fair to the gay population. 

A glance at Kent’s shit-eating grin and he has to silently amend that statement. No men should be this beautiful.

While Jack trucks back down the hall, Bitty grabs paper towels to sop up the water he’d trailed, giving them up to Kent when he gets a frown for trying to clean up.

He tisks to himself and pours Kent a cup of coffee, mixing in the right amounts of cream and sugar, hands it to him when he throws away the wet paper towels.

He puts the bacon on another paper towel to get some of the grease while Kent sits down with his coffee. 

“I had so much fun last night. I can’t thank-you enough for taking us.” As he puts the quiche in the middle of the table.

“I had fun, too, B. Most the guys won’t dance no matter what, and you are awesome.”

“You’re not so bad yourself, sugar pie.”

Kent laughs at him, but reaches out to grip Bitty’s wrist before he can go back to the stove, “but, just so I know...you really don’t hate me anymore, right? We’re friends now?”

Oh, this must be the I need to tell you as Jack’s friend that me and him are datin’ talk. Lord, help him get through this conversation.

“Now, Kent. I already told you last night as long as you don’t hurt Jack like that again and have significantly groveled, we’re all fine.”

“Yeah, I know, but I mean, you and me. We’re fine, too, right?”

“Why of course we are.”

“Okay. Okay, good. I just wanted to make sure.”

Bitty pats Kent’s hand with the free one, “and you already know you can talk to me about anything, right? If things like that are bothering you, you can talk them out with me before you go and say something like that again, okay?”

“Yeah. Thanks, Bits.”

“You’re welcome, Kent.”

He retracts his hand with another pat and goes back for the bacon, waiting for the something else that might be on Mr. Parson’s mind.

“Bits?”

Mmhm. There is it. “Yes, Kent?”

“You...can call me Kenny, too...I mean, if you want.”

The bacon plate in hand, and Bitty turns to look at the pink cheeks on Kent Parson, the way he doesn’t meet Bitty’s surprised eye.

(Even with all his team and the press coverage, he’s only ever heard Jack call Kent ‘Kenny.’)

“All right then, Kenny,” and oh is he grinning, thinking about chirping him just for fun. “I think we’re just about ready for breakfast.”

Nothing else comes of it, and Bitty’s not sure if he’s relieved or not.

 **

Jack slowly, methodically reads through the scans of the Rebels contract he’s got back at Samwell. Kent reads over his shoulder, eyebrows squinty in concentration.

Lord, they look so cute like that. It’s really surprising no one else has picked up on the dating yet because these two are absolutely transparent.

“So–”

He gets twin wait a minute fingers. 

“Well fine then,” and he meanders in the kitchen to see if maybe he should make those peppermint cookies after all. 

A batch later and both boys come on in and sit at the table with the tablet between them.

Bitty absolutely puts the cookies in the middle and pours glasses of milk. Kent looks from the plate to him with wide eyes. 

Two seconds later, he’s already demolishing his third.

Boys.

“All right, you two. Give me the low-down.” Bitty waves a hand over his shoulder and starts washing up dishes.

Jack tells him how it seems to be a right fair offer for a rookie hockey player. The money could be better, but well, it ain’t too shabby. 

Bitty sighs because the money is utterly obscene. More than his scholarship to Samwell for all four years.

Kent has no problem finishing Jack’s thoughts when he trails off, longer in the profession than Jack. He gives more examples of what bad contracts would probably be and makes Bitty wonder if this isn’t his first time helping with these sorts of things.

Well, as Captain of the Aces, he probably has. Not to mention how he babies his rookies. 

“So,” Bitty finally bites on his lip, looking down at the tablet, “so if...if I wanted to keep playing hockey after graduation. This is a good opportunity, is what you’re tellin’ me.”

Both Jack and Kent nod at him, serious as a heart attack.

“This is a good opportunity, Bits.”

“But,” Kent looks at him seriously, “we aren’t agents, either. This is from our experience. For a professional opinion, I can suggest some guys, so can Jack, that can haggle the contract for you.”

He stands at the sink with soapy hands braced on the edges, just looking out the window into Kent’s nice backyard. 

Kit is lounging on a dishtowel right there on the ledge to get some sun.

And just like his worst tendency, Jack stands up with a cookie and saunters over to stand beside him, back against the counter.

“It’s a lot to take in, bud,” is all growly and soft.

“I never imagined playing hockey after this year,” he admits, “buying a bakery, sure. Learning under other chefs, maybe taking a turn in another culinary art, yes. But, professional hockey? Hell, I couldn’t take a check without passin’ out a few years ago, Jack.”

Jack munches on his cookie, watching Bitty’s profile with soft eyes. “True. But, couple years ago, you wouldn’t have thought you’d end up Captain, and be on your way to the Frozen Four, eh?”

Kent shuffles his feet a little but boosts himself up on the counter beside Jack. “The AHL is like, our version of boot camp, you know? The kiddie pool before you hit the NHL. And there’s a four-season standard for that reason, B. You’ve got four seasons to play your best game and see if the Scouts are interested. I mean, a lot of guys that get a bad break and don’t make it, they can renew their contracts every four years or join the practice teams. Guys that still want to play hockey, like a lot of the guys on the Rebs.”

“That offer is for one season, though.” 

“Sure,” Jack fills in, meandering back for another, handing one off to Kent. “It’s a chance to get your feet wet, Bits, see if you can make the first year. I didn’t get a four-year from the Falcs until I got through the probationary period.”

“Lucky they didn’t make you billet, Jack. That’s usually a requirement.”

“Nah, I was old enough. Marty and Tater kept up with me, though. And I had Bits,” Jack shrugs and promises himself this is the last one even as he eyes the full plate.

He glances over at the serious expression on Bitty’s face, thoughts turning behind his eyes because now he’s thinking about it. On one hand, yes, he wants his bud to stay close, be on their sister team’s roster. Pawtucket is only twenty minutes or so from Providence, even closer than Samwell. 

(Jack wouldn’t have to lose him if Bits accepts the offer, keeps playing hockey. Jack thinks he’s terrible for wanting that as much as he does.)

For Bitty, the eminent future is looking closer and closer as this year draws to a close. Getting this offer was terrifying because of all those what if’s?

Kent hums around a mouthful, leans around Jack to look at him. “Sure, but you never know, B. You take Samwell to the ECAC, and there might be more people coming to talk to you.”

“Sugar pie, I’ve seen what you and Jack are up against. If there’s one thing I’m absolutely sure of, it’s that I’m not ready for the NHL, no matter how far we go this year. But–” he sighs a little.

“But what, bud?” 

“...the real question is, what if I’m not ready to give it up once the season’s over?”

Kent chuckles at him around the last bite, “then you’ll have a year with the Rebels to figure out if you’re done with hockey, or not.”

He catches his breath a little (could it really be as simple as that?).

“...that’s what I needed to know, thank-you boys.” He pats Kent on the leg and Jack on the arm, taking up the tablet, swinging right around to go back to the stove and wait for the next batch, hip hitched on the cabinets while he reads all over again.

He’s going to call Coach and Mama when he gets back to Samwell. Then on Monday morning, he’s going to call Mr. McLean and accept the offer.

 ** 

It’s not his fault most the people he’s friends with are so much taller than him. 

Really, it’s not. 

So when Kent just grabs him up before he and Jack get on the plane and hugs him tight for long minutes, Bitty’s feet dangle off the ground, but he’s pretty much used to it by now. Shitty broke him of it first, Holster helped.

“I’m going to miss you,” is said against his shoulder because he thinks Kent might just be tearing up.

Because of Jack.

Because Jack’s leaving.

Right?

With his feet still dangling, he pats the back of Kent’s head soothingly. “I’ll miss you too, honey. But, it’s not forever, right? We’ll see you again.”

Kent eventually put him down when Jack laid a hand to his shoulder and turned him in for a hug, and Bitty looks away when Kent wraps himself around Jack like an octopus, shoulders shaking just a little. 

Jack makes soothing circles on Kent’s back, talks softly in French, and just holds on for a few long minutes. Bitty makes himself busy by checking their luggage tags and slips away to get them some coffee from one of the twelve Starbucks in the airport.

A caramel frappuccino helps a little, and Kent just sweeps him on up again.

Jack keeps a hand on the back of Kent’s neck until the very last second, and something in Bitty’s chest tightens a little, but for the very first time, he’s not sure if it’s for Jack touching Kent like that or if it’s for Kent being all upset they’re leaving.

Something to think about another day.

As is, he’s got a thesis to write, a team to take care of, and a pair of professional hockey players that need fresh baked goods. His plate is pretty much full.

** 4

His vlog has always been somewhere to vent when he needed to, and even if he doesn’t have a huge following with millions of subscribers (yet), he didn’t think things would turn out this way.

But, the school newspaper he usually ignores puts it right out there for everyone to read.

Eric Bittle of Samwell’s Own Hockey Team is the First Out Captain in the NCAA

Dex is there to put a hand on his shoulder when he feels like he suddenly can’t breathe.

Someone watched his vlog and picked up on a few things apparently (“Never fall for a straight boy.” Those words are going to haunt him forever). 

He’s out to the team, but not the rest of campus. Good Lord. Hopefully no one pays it any mind, and they can just ride right along to the next game.

It does not go away.

Instead, the news catches fire, and before he knows it, his face is on ESPN as the first out NCAA captain. The rainbow background isn’t doing him any favors, but in between the panic in his brain, he thinks the yellow of the spectrum looks real nice with those shorts.

Chowder is the one that calls him in to look at the breaking story, looking over the couch to take note of Bitty’s face. 

He shows how much his reflexes have improved when he throws himself over the couch and latches on when Bitty’s knees fail and he almost sprawls himself all over the floor. 

His phone is in his hand, and Chowder is talking, saying something. He didn’t know when Ollie and Wicks, Dex and Nursey, Tango and Whiskey and Foxtrot, River, Hops, and Louis all got there crowded around him, but he just seems to blink and there they all are.

“I,” he starts loudly, immediately quieting everyone with a single word, “am going to make a pie. Everyone is welcome to hang out while I am doing so.”

So, he makes a pie and while he does, he makes a plan.

He talks out how this could affect the team’s chances of getting to the Championship, how this could affect how they play, how they plan to win the next few games. Bitty thinks it might be smart to step down as captain, being pragmatic as possible now that he’s not panicking about finishing the season and his senior year at Samwell. 

Whiskey, who he hadn’t been able to connect with all darn season (more n’ likely because he found Whiskey at that party kissing the Lax bro), smashes his fist on the table and says that’s a whole lotta bull. Bitty’s the one that got them this far, and he’ll take them the rest of the way.

(Bitty still has several talks in the next few days. With the coaching staff, with Samwell administration, with the entire gathered team. He gives all of them the same option. He’ll give up being captain or all out quit the team if this would hurt their changes to go to the Frozen Four. He gets the same denial, loud and belligerent from his whole team –which warms his heart, honestly. They’re all such good boys.)

They decide to handle it one game at a time, and break for the night. In his room with coppery fear still in the back of his mouth, he holds his phone and stares at the contact information for Home. 

He’s almost pressed it when a FaceTime request comes from Kent.

Almost at the same time Jack doesn’t bother to knock, but just throws his bedroom door open, looking like he’d run miles.

Throwing himself to his feet, both hands up, he probably looks terrified because Jack scared the absolute heck out of him. 

“Bits,” and now it’s Jack that’s got both hands up, coming at him, “Bits, it’s okay. It’s okay, bud.” And he really means to say something, but he’s just all caught up in Jack. He smells so good and feels so nice, he’s strong when Bitty feels weak and shaky, picking him right on up and sitting down to fold over him like a big Canadian blanket.

“What a horrible way to be outed,” he laughs through the shakes, but his voice is hoarse. “This is absolutely awful, Jack.”

“God, it really is. I’m so sorry this is happening to you, Bits.”

“Lord, I’m making a fool of myself. What’s done is done, I suppose.”

“Still, I want to be here for you.”

“Oh, honey. I appreciate it.”

And he just lets himself sink into Jack a little, burying his face in Jack’s neck, just tries to breathe.

His phone goes off again, and this time Jack picks it up, sees who it is, and taps the top of Bitty’s head with it.

He thumbs the request without looking, just keeping his face right where it is. This is the best he’s felt since that awful ticker tape just laid out his biggest secret, and put a big ole’ target right on his back.

“Hi Kenny,” and he’s proud his voice sounds as steady as it does.

“Hey B,” is so soft and concerned, his heart gives a little patter. 

Jack holds the phone for him with one hand, and squeezes him tight with the other. 

“This sucks so hard, B. I’m so sorry ESPN gives a fuck about college sports enough to do something shitty like this.”

He raises his face just enough for Kent to see half his face out of Jack’s bulk. “One of those silly human interest stories, I guess. Too bad they got a little too interested, huh?”

“You can totally sue the shit out of them, okay? B, I know a guy. He could get you millions.”

“That won’t make everything right, Kenny, but thank-you for being here with me.” He gives a shuddering sigh, “I’m still going to have to deal with the backlash, and as much as I hate it, so will the team. I haven’t talked to the administration or the coaches, but it might be smart if I step down for the rest of the season, maybe quit outright. Then the boys might still be able to make it to the Frozen Four…”

“You’re two games away, B. You can’t give up now!”

“Agree. You got them here, they’ll have your back, Bits.”

“Kenny, Jack this is hockey. Everyone we go against from here on out is going to be gunning for us. The things they’re going to say to the boys–”

“They’ll handle it. Trust me,” Jack soothes, “they won’t let you give up either.”

“Well, I suppose we’ll see come Monday,” he’s tired, but there’s no slowing down right now, even if Kent is petting Kit and Jack’s lap is absurdly comfortable.

“Besides,” Kent continues, “you’re not alone, B. Plenty of us in the NHL. We’re just not like, out out. Maybe to our teams and stuff, not like, outed on ESPN or anything, fuck those guys. You seriously don’t want me to contact my guy for you? He got 6.8 million dollars for a celebrity case–”

“So you’re out to your team then, Captain Parson?” He blinks because the way Kent just came out with it, not a stutter one, shakes him.

“Huh? Well, yeah, of course I am. I’ve been on the Aces for years, Bits. These guys are like my family, so yeah, they know.”

“O-oh.”

Kent blinks at him, pauses. “Ah, I didn’t come right out and tell you, but yeah. Me too, so it’s okay, B. You’re not alone.”

It’s that moment when Jack leans down, shifting so Bitty’s looking up at him. “You’re not alone,” Jack repeats softly, “I kiss boys sometimes, too. None of that changes how good you are at hockey, and none of that changes you, okay Bits?”

And Lord above help him. He throws both arms around Jack, biting his lower lip between his teeth, and shaking like a leaf in a wind storm.

“Jack...Kenny…thank-you, boys. Just when I need you, and there you are.” He chokes a little, and there’s Jack folding down around him, there’s Kent holding Kit closer to the phone, sending virtual purrs and cuddles.

He doesn’t feel that bad wrapping his legs around Jack’s waist shamelessly, locking his ankles in the back, and just not facing the world for a while. 

It gets a little better when Jack tries to squeeze into a pair of his shorts while Kenny is brushing his teeth and talking about the camp they had at a local rink, running drills and plays with some of the high school kids from around the area. 

But everything in the world absolutely pauses when Jack clears his throat awkwardly

And really, God Bless Canada. 

The little sigh that comes out of him is echoed from his phone, and yes Kenny, they do have good taste.

“I can’t sleep in these, Bits, ah, sorry.”

But that color blue stretched taunt against Jack’s big thigh is just the best sight he’s probably ever seen.

“I’m sorry, but that’s all I’ve got to offer. I can go talk to Dex?” Because Chowder has wider shoulders like Jack, but is about a foot shorter.

“Eh, not necessary.”

And well, yes. Bitty knows Jack wears cute little briefs. They were on a team together, have spent time in the locker room, have seen the occasional moment before towels go on. It’s men’s sports for crying out loud. 

But none of that, absolutely none of that, prepares him for Jack shimmying out of those shorts for black briefs that absolutely mold to his behind and cup the front of him. The real coup de gras is that t-shirt coming off, and heaven help him, it’s muscles for miles. 

Only those little briefs between Bitty and what the Good Lord gave Jack, the definition of fine walking across the room like butter wouldn’t melt in his mouth. 

Bitty unabashedly watches, lips parted, cheeks a soft shade of pink. 

Jack closes the bathroom door, smirking where Bits can’t see, muffled noises as he roots around in the bathroom for a spare toothbrush. It gives Bitty can just take a second to himself to take in this whole situation. 

He’s been outed on a national sports network that may or may not take the question of the Rebels right out of the equation

Chances of going all the way to the finals is looking slimmer and slimmer the more he thinks about it

Jack and Kenny confirmed some of his suspicions and it’s an absolute crime and a blessing that they’ve found each other again

Jack has gotten bulkier than Bitty realized in the last year and a half playing for the NHL and his ass should be marked as a dangerous weapon

He hasn’t answered any of the phone calls from home

Still, Coach sent him a text, Call your mother. She’s worried about you.

 And top of the list, Jack Zimmermann is in his bathroom, shirtless, barefoot, after just having verbally come out to him.

If there was ever anyone that deserves to be up for Sainthood, it’s this good ole’ Georgia boy Right. Here. 

With his head in his hands, he groans softly, and scurries to throw on his own sleep clothes, stripping down without a thought more than those short on Jack and those shorts off Jack.

“I absolutely feel you,” a breathy chirp, and he forgot Kenny probably saw the entire thing.

Bitty spins, almost ready to start getting on a boat down that river called denial when he realizes Kenny is giving him the most devilish looking smile.

“It’s really unfair that he’s a hockey God and blisteringly hot to boot.”

“We are the best of friends, I’ll have you know Mister Parson. Jack doesn’t even see me that way, even after tonight. Besides, I’m pretty sure he’s got his eye set on someone prettier than little ole’ me.”

He throws the covers back to busy his hands, but can spare a second to put some charm into it and look back at Kenny with a wink. 

It’s either the best or the worst timing because Kenny gets this look on his face, opening his mouth for something that might have been good or bad, when Jack comes out of the bathroom smelling like mint and looking like a touch could burn you down to the ground.

Kenny looks at him for a few long seconds while they’re climbing into bed, and chirps them about hands above the comforter and hockey bros cuddle like champs before he yawns and finally hangs up for the night.

The sheet gets maneuvered between them so he’s not going to be tortured most of the night with only his sleep shirt and pants between them–

(and those sinful underwear, he’s never going to forget those)

–so it’s suspiciously easy to drop off with Jack’s arm around him and snoring in his ear.

**

The next two games are utterly brutal. 

Ice bags are wrapped around his shoulder while he sits in his spot in the locker room, forearms on his knees to just hurt while Chowder is talking at his right and Dex at his left.

The bruises tomorrow are going to be beautiful, but heck, what’s some bruises when Samwell is officially in the Frozen Four.

Lord, they made it.

And he will start celebrating, right after he can raise up his arm again.

Oh, that’s going to be sore tomorrow. Making pies for the campus captain club is going to be awful, isn’t it?

He manages to get the ice bags off in time to walk with the boys back to the Haus, Ollie already scooping up his bag and Chowder, bless his heart, hovering anxiously right by him the whole walk there.

They don’t make him do a keg stand this time, thank goodness, but the party celebrating their win is well underway in less than an hour.

It’s real nice when the Lax bros bring in a stack of pizzas and slap him on the back in congratulations, like he hadn’t just been outed on national television. (He loves Samwell so much.) Chad L. says a whole bunch of something that Bitty tries to follow and ends up handing him a plate with pizza and accepting a piece of pie in exchange. 

The fire extinguisher is in plain sight to remind the footballers what could happen if they don’t behave, and at least two of his boys hang around him most the night, bracketing him on both sides to keep an eye on him. Ollie and Wicks pop around the corner periodically anyhow.

He catches Chowder taking a picture for social media, has a second of panic, almost tells his sweet son not to do that because everyone knows, but shuts his mouth last minute and straightens up to grin for the next one.

**

The night the news came out, Bitty changed his social media to private, hoping to avoid some of the homophobic comments. Since the morning after (and it’s a crying shame he missed seeing those little black briefs again since Jack was already dressed by the time he got up), he’s been talking to pretty much everyone.

Most of all, his Mama and Coach...and Mr. McLean.

Jack squeezes his hand, and Bitty bites his lip, but still, “I’m afraid I don’t think I should accept your offer after all. This isn’t going to blow over any time soon.”

“Mr. Bittle. I’m interested because you’re fast, you’ve got soft hand, and you’re a good fit for the Rebels. As far as I understand, this isn’t going to change any of that.”

“O-oh!”

“If you want to play hockey, Mr. Bittle, you can do that with us.”

And it’s there when he looks in Jack’s blue, blue eyes, when he thinks about Ollie and Wicks, when he thinks about Shitty being so kind when he’d come out to the first person on the team. It’s there when he thinks about being terrified at that first check practice, when he thinks about how dang far he’s come in four years.

(It’s tough, but you’re tougher.)

“I want to play hockey, Mr. McLean.”

“That’s the spirit Mr. Bittle. I’ll send you training camp information in the next week or so. Welcome to the Pawtucket Rebels.”

If Jack holds him tight while he almost shakes apart once he hangs up the phone, well, only Chowder and Dex will ever tell a soul because they fell on him and Jack like a ton of bricks, hugging him and laughing.

**

Shitty, Ranson, Holster, and Lardo make the trip from Boston to show up on the Haus doorstep before they’ve even finished clean-up from the party the night before.

Before he knows it, he’s got Shitty crying all over him, telling him he’s so proud and Bitty’s just the best little captain there ever was.

It’s so nice because Shitty is silly as hell, but he’s an amazing friend in times of need. 

And he can’t say it isn’t nice when Shitty picks up the loud speaker and starts shooing the rest of the hanger-oners out.

“Frozen Four!” Ransom crows, “our guys are going to kick some ass.”

“You said it, bro,” Holster warmly pats Bitty on the shoulder with one of those big hands while this pie is just coming along easily enough.

The flinch when the bruises ache is enough for more ice bags to get wrapped around him, and Shitty to shake a finger in his face, talking about taking care of himself. It might not be a concussion, but they’ve got serious games coming up, and he needs to be tip top if he’s going to take them all the way.

Bitty takes it to heart and lets them baby him for a few hours.

It does get worse when Dex and Chowder see Holster pulling the neck of his shirt up a little to check how bad it is, and then he’s got more hockey players in his kitchen butting in. Luckily, Dex is getting just as good at making pie as Bitty, and finishes up the lattice work perfectly.

He talks strategy with Ransom and Holster at the kitchen table while Lardo makes another pot of coffee, and Chowder subtly slips the bottle of ibuprofen next to him. Whiskey listen to them strategize for the upcoming games, and my, don’t it feel so normal.

He hugs Shitty again, holds on just as tight as he can, and thanks the Good Lord for such amazing friends.

**

Mama and Coach are more understanding than he ever would have imagined, taken in account what a shock it is just to come across the television like that.

“Dickey, honey, now you know,” and she has to pause because Lord, his Mama is crying, “you know you can always come home. Always. No matter what. We love you. We love you and everything else, we can figure all that out.”

And so, since he’s never said it, only thought about what could happen, he tells her, “Mama… I’m gay.”

“I know, sweetheart. I know and that’s-that’s fine. We can figure it all out. But, you can come home sometime before the semester ends, can’t you?”

“N-not while we’re close to the Championships, Mama. I-I can’t–”

“Junior.” 

And now he’s glad he just called instead of trying to FaceTime. So glad he doesn’t have to look Coach in the face right now.

“You’ve done a heck of a job this year. Been a good captain. You know me and your mama are proud, don’t you Junior?”

And there goes his lip all trembling, his eyes getting hot. Only Jack squeezing his hand keeps him together at all.

“Y-yes, Daddy.”

“Good. You just keep fighting. We’ll be here cheering you on, all right?”

His breath hitches in his chest, “yes, Daddy.”

“That’s my boy. You can do it, Junior. They’re tough–”

“–but I’m tougher,” and he’s covering his eyes, shoulder hunching down. Jack goes from holding his hand to pretty much lifting him up enough to slide on Jack’s lap.

“That’s right, son. You sure as hell are.”

He sighs out, a soft noise. “I am, Daddy. We made the Frozen Four.”

“Go get ‘im. Me and your Mama are behind you all the way.”

And even if Coach gets squicky when it’s time for I love you, Bitty manages to get it out anyhow.

“Love you too, son. Now you gotta stop, or else your mama’s gonna drown me.”

The thick laugh is so much better than crying. Jack thinks so too apparently, squeezing tight while Bitty’s sitting on his thighs.

If he thinks there’s a kiss pressed to the top of his head, well, he’s just going to blame it on being emotionally overwrought and leave it at that.

**

He didn’t bother with pads, just pants, sweatshirt, gloves, stick, helmet, and skates. The ice is quiet as can be in the morning light bouncing off Faber, making it beautiful.

Kenny’s far enough ahead of them that he’s on a break from practice, already home making brunch. “Big Red is going to be killer, B. Cornell is ruthless. Fighting Hawks from North Dakota.”

His skates cut through the ice until he’s gliding, hitting the long stretch, pumping as fast as his legs can take him, cycling the puck. 

He doesn’t reply to Kenny, just listens while his muscles burn, his mind works, he sees the next move like a playbook. 

Over the past four years, he’s gotten stronger, faster. Sure, he’s smaller than the average hockey player, but that don’t mean weak. Everyone they’ve played already figured that one out now didn’t they?

His arms and shoulders burn when he swings high, throws some muscle in it when he slaps the puck right in the sweet spot of the net.

“No fair, B. I want to watch!”

“I’d have to set my phone in the stands, sugar pie.”

“If that means I get to watch you do suicides, I’m on board.”

Bitty laughs out loud because Lord, he sounds like Jack. 

“Trying to kill me before practice?”

“Captain’s prerogative, babe.”

Obligingly, Bitty sets up his helmet, laying on it’s side, throws a t-shirt in it to hold the phone up, and FaceTimes Kenny.

He gives the captain of the Aces a wink and then takes off to the blue line. He’s got his game face on, stick balanced perfectly, moving like his ass is on fire.

After a good turn out, he skates back to the stands where Kenny is very close to the screen. 

“Well, there you go, Captain,” he snickers, scooping up the whole thing so Kent goes around the rink for some easy, cool-down laps with him before the boys start meandering in for practice. “That what you wanted to see?”

“You? Are fast, B. That was incredible.”

“Oh, sugar pie,” he grins down at Kent’s face in his helmet, “you say the nicest things.”

“Hey, I’m not being nice, Bits. I’m saying as a professional hockey player that you? Are fast.”

“Well, so are you. Short guys like us have a tendency to out-maneuver the big guys.”

“I’ve based most of my career on being the fast guy on the team, B, but I don’t know how I’d hold up against you.”

“Mmhm. I also haven’t been playing professionally for the last few years, tearing the fire out of my knee, Kent.” Very serious because he’s counted how many nights he’s seen ice bags over that knee in the last few weeks.

“Also true. It might be surgery for me this summer, but that should do a lot. I’ll have maybe ten years instead of five.”

“So you said. Your doctor is talking about it again?”

“...yeah. He says it should do wonders for where I’m at right now, and this might be the year to just do it and get it over with.”

“Three-time Stanley Cup winner is where you’re at right now, sugar pie.”

The laugh is nice, but now he’s wondering if he can convince Kenny to come to Providence and stay with Jack during his recovery. That’ll let Bitty be close enough to come over and take care of him while his knee heals. He’s already thinking it over when his third lap is coming up.

“B.” Startles him right out of his thoughts.

“Kenny?”

And something is there in the way Kenny is looking at him from the screen. “Be careful at the game tonight. Watch out for the Minnesota D-Men, okay?”

“Thank-you, sugar. You watch on out for those Rangers.”

“I will. Just send me a text when the game is over, even if I’m in overtime, okay?”

“You know it, honey. Now go on and get a nap. We’ve both got a busy night tonight.”

**

This could be the last time he steps out on the ice. This could be it. All of it could end right here right now. 

They’ve got to play their hearts out. He’s got to give it everything he’s got. For himself, for the boys, for Samwell. 

It comes down to this, facing Minnesota’s line like there ain’t no going back.

**

He sits on his bed, faggot and fairy in his head from the game earlier. He doesn’t accept Jack’s call because his face is a mess.  

Well, serves him right because Jack just shows up at the Haus an hour later when Bitty has finally got it together.

**

The check is absolutely brutal. 

He used to be floored by it, curled up in a little ball on the ice, couldn’t move, couldn’t think, could barely breathe. 

But not this damn time. Oh hell no. 

It’s fast when he’s back up on his feet, shoving his way through bigger men than him and stealing that puck right on out from under them. 

He feels like he’s got wings on his feet when he glides by them like they’re just standing still. 

**

Mama and Coach are here because they’ve come down to the last stand. 

This is it.

Jack and Kenny are both there and where in the world they got #15 Bittle jerseys, he will never know.

Number #82 has already been gunning for him, but the last one is the very last of Eric Bittle’s patience running right on out.

His heart is racing, his legs burning, skates cutting ice as he steers around players, gritting his teeth against the ache, and for the first time, he’s gonna stand up, holler out that no, he’s not gonna take that nonsense lying down.

The moment slows down for long enough that he feels weightless when he pushes off, is airborn, shoving all his weight right into #82 just as they’re at the Samwell bench and shove the both of them right in with the boys.

It’s a tangle of arms and legs and skates and sputtering. 

“Try me again, asshole,” Bitty sneers in #82’s face with the face guards the only thing between them. 

“Homophobic prick!” One of his boys shouts.

Coach and the boys pick him up (shocked because he doesn’t usually have a need for potty mouth thank-you very much), want him to go get checked out while the ref blows the whistle just after Whiskey gets the puck, and now it’s all on Samwell.

He doesn’t get a penalty, thank goodness, and argues loudly with Coach to let him back in the game, he needs to get back. It’s not like he lost a tooth, just some scratches from going over. It’s a long look in his eyes before Coach just throws up his hands and shoos him back. 

And Bitty’s not thinking about Jack and Kenny and Shitty and Lardo and Ransom and Holster and Mama and Daddy and everyone else up in those stands screaming for them when he hits the ice again. He’s not thinking about how badly he hurts or the scratches on his face. He’s not thinking about his thesis or graduation or his spot in Jack’s guest room. 

He’s only thinking about the tied score, the next play, and how they’re going to show these away boys exactly who’s house this is.

**

And his arms strain when his stick comes back, when he slams that puck with every ounce of strength he has left. His heart thuds hard in the back of his mouth when their goalie’s hand shoots out, tries to catch the puck, just the tips of his gloves skimming the surface.

The alarm blares and the scoreboard changes so fast, Bitty’s not really sure what happened until his boys slam into him, gather all around him, screaming.

He’s dazed, fingers limply holding his stick, eyes still stuck on the scoreboard even when they lift him up, stick and all.

The crowd takes to the ice, and he gets his helmet off in time to get hugs from Mama and Coach, in time to accept the huge trophy, him and Coach and Dex holding it up with all the boys around them just a hooting and a hollering all over the place. 

Ransom and Holster catch him right up off his feet, crying all over him when they tell him how proud they are.

The interviews shake him out of the daze and he tells the viewers at home that the team fought hard for this and earned it all themselves. He’s proud to be their teammate and captain, he’s proud to be a Wellie, and darn it, their hard work paid off.

Just as he turns, sees Chowder going past with three of their guys behind him, singing the Samwell song at the top of their lungs, he catches Jack and Kenny standing on the ice by the boards, watching him with soft smiles on their faces, and his eyes get hot abruptly, get full as can be.

Center ice, just like with the Stanley Cup. And this ain’t that now. This? This one is all his.

He feels his lower lip tremble just a little, puts his hand up to stop it, but dang it if Jack and Kenny aren’t just easing across the ice toward him with those smiles and his name across the back of their shoulders.

He gets a hand on the back of his neck and a shoulder to hide his face while the whooping and celebrating gets loud, loud, loud.

Lord, he’s going to vlog the hell out of this tomorrow.

**

Shitty is naked. 

While it’s not new (they’ve been to Haus 2.0, and yes, Shitty was naked there too. Good times, really), Bitty has always had reservations about him being skin-to-fabric on that dang couch. Who knows what he might get. Well, all that spilled tub juice probably goes a long way to sanitize. Or so he says to keep his revolution to a minimum. 

Watching Kenny get his ass handed to him from Lardo is hilarious. Watching Jack give in and have a chugging competition is even better. 

He’s lucky the ECAC playoffs beat the NHL by almost a month. Jack and Kenny have another week before they start getting serious. 

Ransom and Holster are talking animatedly with the Waffles, back slaps all around. He’s pleased as can be when Shruti, Sharon, Edgar, Chad L., and some other captains drop by to say congratulations and have a piece of pie. He doesn’t see Jack pause over his shoulder while he talks up a storm, doesn’t see the considering look on Jack’s face.

Something about this Bitty hits him harder than the last four years, makes that perpetual tightness in his chest mean something completely different than anxiety.

He should have realized it long before his graduation, should have been terrified of it all happening again. 

Bitty affects him in so many of the same ways Kenny does, and it’s an amazing yet terrifying thing for Jack Zimmermann. Feeling like this person you’re looking at is literally made for you. 

And just as he starts taking a step forward, pushing himself in to stand at Bitty’s side like he’s done the majority of their friendship, Kenny ducks out of nowhere and takes him by both biceps. His expression is desperate.

“You’ve got to stop her. Zimms. Zimms, be on my team. Right now.”

It’s so absurd because it’s Kenny and also because he knows no one is beating Lardo. 

Ever.

Anything else is wishful thinking.

He casts a wistful look at Bitty, animated with his big win, and if Jack literally has his heart in his eyes until they’re out of sight, then only Chad L. from would have seen it.

**

Later on after the captains have said good night and some of their...guests have started staggering out, cheering for Samwell, for hockey, for tub juice, and for pie. 

For this one, Bits really couldn’t take credit because Dex really made most of them, bless his heart.

Moving around the party-goers with a spare trash bag to pick up a bit, he spots someone sneaking upstairs, pauses to squint up in case he needs to charge on up there and firmly remind people the upstairs is off limits. 

Or break out the fire extinguisher.

Either way.

...but he knows that ass in those jeans, and gasps softly as Jack’s plaid is bouncing up the steps ahead of Kenny. 

And, he can let out a sigh, catch just a little bit of bittersweet. But, if there is anything Eric Richard Bittle prides himself on, it’s being a good friend. If Jack and Kenny needed a-a wingman or whatever, then he’s just going to dang well be that.

He keeps an eye on the stairs for the rest of the night for more than one reason. No one, no one, is going to disturb them when they’ve finally come this far, and even if he silently dreads it, hopes they at least used his room instead of a bathroom for heaven’s sake.

[unordinary-analysis]

Episode 166

Honorable mentions:

I always love seeing a student with John’s old ‘loser’/helmet hair lmao it makes me happy

For the first time ever, when I say ‘Remi, pop off queen’ you know I actually mean it lol

Tldr: the high-tiers (can’t really call them “royals” anymore can we) establish themselves and prove their worths as paragons (perfect examples) of what royals should be and i applaud them for it

The amount of joker masks that the superhero posse brought in has to be representation of their power. Isen, the lowest-ranking of the superhero posse brought 1, Remi brought 3, and Blyke brought 3. You might be thinking ‘hey remi is more powerful than blyke’ but we know that he’s been working hard recently and because he only has one more mask than Remi, i think this idea is plausible. so let me believe that blyke is more powerful than remi please.

Nothing to really say about Isen except that he needs a hug

Going to ignore that remi listed cecile as someone she wanted to recruit help from because i would just get my hopes up

Only occured to me now that i could pull off a John and Rei comparison especially after reflecting over episode 150

Arlo and seraphina give off such close vibes and it’s obviously because they got close (or at least intensely familiar) when they were the king and queen and i just- i absolutely love when plots or characters go full circle and reflect (revisit?) the start of the story even though that sounds anti-development, it’s not im just bad at explanations.

WHAT I WOULD GIVE FOR CECILE TO BACKSTAB JOHN not that i don’t like john because i absolutely aDORE him because of his impact on the story, but i just want to see Cecile backstab someone and john is convient

just me talking for a bit, scroll if you want to skip to the actual content i understand ;( :

Okay: so.

I’ve figured out that instead of putting little talkative comments in the honorable mentions like I’ve been doing lately, I can put them here and not feel like total trash and that I’m downgrading the post so that’s fun.

Anyway, sorry if the massive ton of parentheses(?spelling) i'm using is confusing or hard to read. I mean, I won’t fix it, but I hope it’s not too bad ya know

Again: sorry for talking like im texting someone in 2017 it’s an issue, im aware. No one ever says anything, but yeah?? Im sorry???

Im panic-writing this an hour before the new episode drops so hopefully this is up before then, there’s no real hope though it takes me 10 minutes just to transfer this from my google doc to tumblr because i have to manually re-add all of the bold and italics and bullet points. Still not removing this bit tho even if (lmao “if”) it’s late ;)

Talking too much, but whenever you see (?”spelling/grammar/word choice/etc”), that just means that I messed up in that way, but I’m too distracted to fix it. Figured i should say that eventually seeing as i literally do that every post

Next post will not be written in first person at all because i think it makes these feel way too familiar and makes new readers uncomfortable which is stupid but is how i would feel so we’re experimenting. If you’ve never read one of my posts, i just act very informal with everything i do and i just want to say, i'm not in this tightly knit niche group that reads these and that ive been friends with for years. i just. Talk like this. So don’t feel like you’re eavesdropping by reading one of these. I really hope im not an outlier in feeling this way when reading other peoples post because if nobody actually feels this way, im bout to be real embarrased oops.

Im getting the talking out of my system because no talking next post.

Yeah this post is late. But: i stopped for pizza in the middle and my webtoon isn’t loading so im like sitting around waiting for it to

Remi:

    Now, in this episode particularly, it has occurred to me that I need to give Remi credit where credit is due. I made a post (AN: multiple posts but we’ll ignore that) over a year ago talking about her abilities as queen and- I did her pretty dirty. Not unfairly, but dirty. I basically dissed her a lot and said that she wasn’t a good queen in any sense. And I’ve done this multiple times (AN: ignore last AN) because I can remember at least 2 other times when I just berated Remi over and over for being shit queen.

    I’m not going to disagree with myself in this post (because I didn’t lie), but I want to give her some credit because I do believe she has changed recently and it has affected how I view her as a position of royalty. And, yes, while it is unclear if she is currently technically still a royal, what with John having somehow destroyed the entire concept of Wellston having royals (?), she has been taking the actions and responsibilities that a royal would. So-

    What made me want to write this out was in this episode, episode 166, I really realized/noticed her attitude and actions dealing with and revolving around this whole joker situation (currently more about the fake jokers) was?? Actually productive?? To explain: In this episode, we see Remi approaching a group of low-tiers who are worriedly talking about the joker situation and 1. Analyzes the conversation in reference to the measures she, Blyke, and Isen are taking to prevent the situation, 2. Reassures the low-tiers that qualified help (her, Blyke, and Isen [aka the superhero posse]) is doing the best they can, and 3. Asks if they have any suggestions or ideas that might help them attain their goal. Like?? Hello?? The Professionalism? And the way she didn’t let her disappointment that her previous efforts up until now affect her is a stark contrast from the Remi of the past. I’ve ripped her apart because of just how often her emotions would completely overwhelm any sense she had. So: that stood out. But, anyway, big picture again: This whole short little scene from her was so impressive?

    Honestly, the fact that Remi is going through all this effort to stop the fake jokers and make sure the low-tiers are safe is very different than what we would’ve seen from her in the past. One of the common reasons that I kept saying Remi was a bad queen was because she didn’t care about her responsibilities and didn’t take her authority seriously. There are even examples of Arlo, or others, telling her this (the example that came to my mind was when Remi was warning students about EMBER and Arlo stepped in [and the reason behind the events of this example helps to support my next point] {ALSO (sorry) afternote: I was reading through everything I’ve ever said about Remi’s leadership and I used this exact example in my post “Remi” from just over a year ago}). Another reason that I was against Remi as queen, which ties nicely with the previous reason (this sounds like repetition of like two seconds ago when I said that my last reason would support this point, but it’s not because words), was that she prioritized personal missions over things her school needed her to do. I remember being very pissed around episodes 110-120 because she ignored the big conflicts happening at Wellston in order to track down this separate crime organization (EMBER) and took Blyke and Isen with her (royals)(who were both against the idea). And I know that her reason for doing this is valid and I do respect her for attempting to avenge her brother, and I would have let this slide if she gave one thought or listened to Isen and Blyke at all about Wellston. I know this still sounds bad on my part, but it was many instances stacked on top of each other of Remi being, not just unconcerned, but unknowing, about Wellston’s current state as a school. At that time, Remi was the queen, she was one of the school’s royals, whose job was to maintain order and peace within the school. I couldn’t see any instances of Remi even attempting to do that. That was in the past though, because obviously, things are different now, like I said. Currently, Remi has gone out of her way to dedicate herself to the wellbeing of Wellston, that is obvious in the way she has been talking with low-tiers and unmasking fake Jokers. I only hope that her new motivation isn’t just a phase brought upon her due to her personal relationship/conflict with Joker, with John. I want to know if John ever happens to be dethroned or Remi somehow gets her technical authority back, will she still be dedicated to the school, or is her motive purely situational? I hope not? Because we’ve seen lots of change from her recently what with learning of the low-tiers mistreatment and all, so let’s cross our fingers.

    Regardless, there has been improvement in Remi. In her leadership and dedication. And that needs to be acknowledged. So I am doing it. Yeah. Here you go. Badge of honor for Remi.

    Obviously, most of what I’ve said also applies to Isen and Blyke, who are honestly going above and beyond (especially Blyke), just this section is a response to my previous statements of how Remi is not a good queen, not only for Wellston, just in general. And, again, while I still agree with my evaluation of Remi as a queen in reference to her past self and past episodes, This is a new development I felt obligated to talk about. :).

Blyke’s idea (?word choice confuses me):

Wowee this is a fun one. So: Blyke broke up a fake joker fight in a hallway this episode, and i just have to acknowledge this like I did for remi: props, but anyway, I was very intrigued by the way he handled the damage control like?? He refuses for the fake joker to be unmasked (?grammar) and gives the reason, “I’m not about to show his face so that you all can just gang up on him later!” And: applause. I think that this has occurred to me before, I just never dwelled on that idea, so I was taken off guard by this from Blyke. He was able to understand this and form a plan with how to deal with it? I don’t know about you, but that screams king behavior. Anyway, what Blyke does is take the fake joker to a separate room and unmasks him privately then talks with him as a way to both protect the fake joker’s safety and discourage him from any future stunts like the one he pulled a sec ago. And?? This is so great because, guys, this is liTERALLY the concept of like anger management and behavior therapy?? 

I especially liked how Blyke took the time to hear the low-tier out(something that the high-tiers are really starting to do [technically because of john because john became joker and caused all of this {and since john wanted to destroy the hierarchy because high-tiers didn’t give a shit about the low-tiers in a way he’s achieved his goal, albeit unknowingly}]). And, like i literally just said, by hearing him out, he’s creating yet another bubble of safety around the low-tier because immediately after (okay maybe not immediately, blyke did scold him a bit), Blyke says that whenever the low-tier is being picked on, he can come to Blyke. And NOT ONLY does this whole thing help with the fake jokers issue, but Blyke, along with Isen and Remi, are creating trust and respect between the low-tiers and high-tiers. This is them doing the hierarchy right! They are establishing themselves as leaders and as people that can be relied upon, which is exactly who the royals are supposed to be.

Just want to say: He also talked about how the guy who got attacked should also reflect on his actions, and yes, this deserves recognition, but this has been a common theme, so I didn’t think it was worth really discussing. Blyke got bonus points for this. Extra credit if you will.

    Remi’s idea:

    Back to Remi, but her idea about recruiting John to help get rid of the Jokers? Excuse me? The innovation, the growth, the potential. And, I know this was shut down pretty quickly by Blyke, but I still have to talk about it??? And this section is starting off horribly because there was absolutely no transition or introduction but hello?? 

    Anyway, obviously the fact that Remi would even suggest getting any help from John (Joker) is astonishing. 1. He literally beat up everyone present in the scene 2. Honestly from what john’s doing for all anyone knows, he likes that low-tiers are faking being joker (remi even points this out lmao) 3. Again, he beat everyone up? Not exactly looking good for any kind of compromise. And yet despite these obvious reasons, Remi still lists him as a possible ally. Why?

    Because when she met up with him before he completely dethroned the Wellston hierarchy, she noticed similarities in their goals and their beliefs. She says, and quotation marks mean quote, “When I spoke with him… I really thought both of us wanted the same thing… Just that our methods of approaching the situation were different.” !!!!!!! Remi knows that they really want the same thing: a safe environment for low-tiers. That was the one thing that John kept repeating over and over when they met up and talked (episode 150) (other than the fact that royals are shit but-): he wanted to create a school environment that was safe for the low-tiers. Whether or not that’s his goal now, or if he’s acting with that goal in mind, Remi obviously remembered this the most from their conversation because it seemed so similar to the way she was thinking. And Remi thinks that it would be possible that John would prioritize this over his dedication to his own personal project of destroying the school :).

    Anyway, this whole idea is scrapped by Isen and Blyke who give valid arguments as to why trying to ally with John is a really bad idea, but oh my god the way my heart stopped.

    This section is basically a summary and very quick, but this scene in the comic was riveting because of this. I just don’t know what else to say.

[no-other-words]

later is now

synopsis: two years worth of photos on Hinata’s Instagram and not a word from kageyama. you’d think after an entire high school career spent with the most sociable human on earth, he would’ve pick up some communication skills but here he is—sitting alone in the locker room crouched over his phone, brooding over the fact he can’t even press ‘like’ on a harmless picture, let alone comment. #major manga spoilers ahead #post chapter 370 #slight angst? and fluff? #pre-relationship

Don’t be dramatic, dumbass. You’re making it sound like I died.

‘then where have u been? where did u fuck off to kageyama?

---

His thumb hover dangerously close over the heart sign, frozen in mid-air just like how he’s been frozen in time for the past years. There’s a calm before the storm until the nerves eventually get to Kageyama and his hand recoils as if the photo he’s staring at is a violent wake up call.

Hinata’s gotten a bit more tanned from the last time he posted a picture. Darker around the arms and legs, it highlights the toned muscles developed over the years. He’s got an even larger presence than the one Kageyama holds onto in his memories. Still the same smile though—vibrant, bigger than life, and nothing held back.

It makes his chest hurt.

The photo is of Hinata posing on a beach alongside a fellow volleyball player. He’s wearing a sleeveless tank and Kageyama finds himself staring at the biceps bared to the world. His account is private right? It better be private. Thirsty messages should not be welcomed in the comments.

He hears his name being called from outside the locker room. It’s time for practice.

Stolen moments are just that—fleeting minutes playing catch-up with Hinata picture by picture. Then, it’s back to reality and the court in front of him.

In the end, Kageyama decides on doing nothing and shuts off his phone. He pockets it in the jacket, his last name printed gloriously over the V.League team’s red and white jersey.

Two years’ worth of photos on Hinata’s Instagram and nothing from Kageyama.

You’d think after an entire high school career spent with the most sociable human on Earth, Kageyama would’ve pick up some communication skills but here he is—sitting alone in the locker room crouched over his phone, brooding over the fact he can’t even press ‘Like’ on a harmless picture, let alone comment.

Pathetic.

---

Thinking back, he should have said something. They were once partners for god’s sake, and now they might as well be strangers from the gap Kageyama’s unwittingly carved between them.

His last interaction with Hinata from the chat box, when Kageyama follows him on Instagram a few months after he’s landed in Brazil. He’d been immediately DM’d, Hinata calling him out for being late on the social media game.

‘ur now a part of a professional team! u need to make ur presence known or ur fans will be real sad’

Kageyama hadn’t responded.

He hasn’t done anything, in fact. No messages, no likes, no comments, no replies. The only thing that holds to his account is a profile picture of a Mikasa volleyball on the old Karasuno jersey. He’s here to play volleyball on the national stage, his game can speak for him.

By the time he’s realized his mistake, Kageyama finds himself frequently checking Hinata’s Instagram page and revisiting old posts. That—he’s allowed to do, no? And it’s an impressive curation—hundreds of photos narrating his two years stay in Brazil. Two years’ worth of change, growth, learning, and memories that Hinata’s making.

Two years without him.

Kageyama finds it hard to keep up sometimes. Following his life in the form of mere pictures and captions doesn’t really fill the void.

---

The only wisp of connection he has to his old team is through Tsukishima—the salty bastard of all people. When the blonde messages him though, Kageyama is already aware.

For the first time, Hinata has posted a video. It’s short—capturing only a few seconds but those seconds are enough. The pants Hinata wears are tight and moves enticingly with his quads. They bend, expand, and hup—from the sands, Hinata soars above the net, his wings in the form of haloed sun-rays, and passes the volleyball to his spiker.

Hinata has learned to set. And what a beautiful set it is.

Kageyama smirks. Nothing less from a starved crow.

He re-watches several times, unable to let go of the breath he’s been holding. If he does, the magic will go away. Something tightens in his chest. It spreads and grabs hold of his stomach and twists and turns and evolves into a fierce wanting.

Tsukishima’s text repeats in his head.

Looks like he’s aiming for FIVB World Cup. Maybe you’ll see him in the next Olympics?

He watches the video again. Memorizes the form of Hinata’s jump, the curve of his spine, the reach from his arms. His hair floats airily in a poof orange cloud, his lips slightly opened in concentration.

Alluring in every possible way.

This time, he doesn’t hold back. kageyama.t leaves a heart on the post along with a simple comment.

You can do better.

---

‘kageyama? omg zombie-yama has resurfaced from the dead!’

‘both a like AND a comment? wow did i do to deserve this? has hell frozen over?’

The twelve-hour difference between them has never had an impact for Kageyama. They don’t even talk anymore so what’s it to him if he misses a few instant messages from the person he’s been silently following (stalking) online since forever?

Apparently, a great deal.

It’s already 11PM in Brazil, Kageyama impatiently notes. He should know better than to wait until it’s a better time for Hinata. But like a landslide racing towards the end, the compulsive words are typed and sent before he knows it.

Don’t be dramatic, dumbass. You’re making it sound like I died.

‘then where have u been?’

Kageyama almost drops his phone, not expecting the quick turnaround from Hinata. His heart beats annoyingly loud and it’s the only thing he hears in the room.

Why are you still awake? Isn’t it late over there?

‘i cant sleep. u know how i am. a ghost from my past decided to come back to life’

The sad thing is he’s right. Kageyama knows him all too well. He swallows the hard lump in his throat.

‘dont u dare ignore me. where did u fuck off to kageyama?’

He also knows Hinata rarely gets mad. This is one of those rare times. His head starts to buzz.

Nowhere. Volleyball’s been keeping me busy.

‘too busy to talk to a friend?’

His breathing quickens in short and shallow bursts. Questions, fears, and doubts swell into his mind and he needs to look away from the screen for a bit. Calm down—Hinata has all the right to call him out.

Maybe it’s a mistake to like his post.

No. Hinata deserves that and way more.

Maybe that’s why he should’ve reached out earlier. Ease it in. He should’ve responded to that first message.

He should’ve done a lot of things.

‘dont ignore me. ur not a coward.’

Kageyama stares at Hinata’s words. Damn him for always being right, for pulling him back. For saying things as is and pushing him to further ends.

I don’t know what to say.

‘well ur in luck. u can practice whatever u need to say with me soon. can u pick me up from the airport this weekend?’

What

‘im coming home for a visit. plane arrives at 4:30pm jst. terminal 1’

Home. He likes the sound of that.

Why me?

‘y not? my fam’s out of town and u owe it to me.’

Sneaky little turd.

Kageyama bites off a smile.

Fine.                                                            

‘come prepared. u and i have a score to settle’

You and I. Him and Hinata. Sounds familiar.

Sounds fitting.

---

When they meet, every memory made at Karasuno comes rushing like a giant wave riding the high winds.

First year nationals when they suffered a defeat with Hinata off-court. Hinata’s struggles in the academics and Kageyama’s equally abominable grades. Their makeshift practices during lunch on the school rooftop and late-night snack runs after training. Second year’s expected yet satisfying loss to Dateko and a hard-won third place in third year. The utter thrill of the orange court, the intensity of the game. The fleeting glances, the accidental touches.

The implicit words. Unspoken feelings.

The unequivocal promise after a splendid receive from Kageyama’s serve.

See you later.

Hinata unabashedly marches up to Kageyama, suitcase in tow, and punches Kageyama hard on the chest.

He expects it just as much.

The shorter man doesn’t pull back, instead spreads his hand wide and presses against Kageyama’ body. In the middle of a large, well air-conditioned airport, the spot where Hinata’s touching him is blazing hot.

“Damn it,” Hinata hisses through his pout, “you’re still bigger than me.”

Kageyama snorts. Figures he’d say something stupid first.

He’s stumped at what to do next. Two full years of going radio-silent on the man (man, not boy anymore) has him doubting again. What’s acceptable, what’s appropriate, what’s allowed?

He starts to open his arms and Hinata jumps into him instantly, strong arms over his shoulder and his face buried in the crevice of Kageyama’s neck.

A fresh whiff of his hair and Kageyama softens. Things are…alright. A void is being filled.

Hinata’s voice is muffled against his neck, absolute yet frail. “I missed you.”

He did too.

“I’m still mad at you.”

“I know.”

“We have a lot of things to iron out.”

Kageyama gulps. “Okay.”

“Kageyama?” Hinata pulls back, determination flashing in his eyes. “It’s later.”

He still remembers that perfect form Hinata had embodied on the other side of the court, meeting him halfway in both passion for the sport and a knowing smile.

See you later!

Someone probably has already recognized him as a member of a V.League club, but he doesn’t care. Tightening his hold around Hinata, feeling the defined muscles hot under his grasp, Kageyama lays his forehead on Hinata’s shoulder in an act of release.

“Yeah, later is now.”

---

a/n: because the way i cope with the recent chapter is creating headcanons and writing them out

[villainhore]

Do you go to any writing workshops or just any guides that help you with navigating your writing?

honestly, not at all! ive never taken a professional writing course/class etc. the last writing course i ever took was in high school several years ago and it didnt help at all because i was worried more about my marks, rather than my craft at the time. (i think w/professional learning, that is often inevitable.)

i think what has helped me- especially in the past 2 years, was reading a lot of other books (NA fiction/fantasy/contemp etc whatever my mood was) and writing some good ol’ fanfic (thank you lotura). it really helped me find my voice and helped me explore my vision and just taste for creativity. i think fanfic especially really helps because youre exploring a world and characters that you are already passionate about (vs your own story that might not be fully constructed perhaps). thats the biggest key for writing, in my opinion, is finding YOUR way of storytelling, rather than focusing on posts/advice from professional writers or experts about how you must follow xyz procedure to be a good writer.

a few tips to find your writing process (if applicable ofc!):

- read your writing OUT LOUD and IN CHARACTER/narration. this really helps you write more fluidly and helps you figure out your sentence structuring. i would say, don’t pay much mind to advice that says “less short, chunky sentences or less run-on sentences etc” because everyone has a different style of writing and if that is where your comfort lies, then definitely go with it!

- if you want, you can also act out certain scenes that you are envisioning. some of the best scenes i believe ive written are ones i acted out fully w/emotion and voice/accent changes etc (i have no acting background lmao)

- also, i highly recommend having a dictionary etc on hand-as in, right next to you, as you are writing. i like the google dictionary extension on chrome and i also love thesaurus. com. english is my third language, but i worked on my vocabulary a lot just by writing simpler terms or regular sentences and then looking up synonyms and replacing w/words there that MAKE SENSE in that scenario. (try to avoid using the most flashy or very creative type of synonyms, because specificity of the meaning is crucial. example: saying “his scintillating arms” in regards to edward cullen’s sparkly skin, might seem a little odd because scintillating also means being vibrant, exciting, animated. when in doubt, maybe keep things simple, so that if you do revisit that work sometime later, you might have a different way of going about the scene and it’ll help develop it a lot better w/o causing any confusion because of word choice)

- i love listening to audio sounds on youtube of a scene im writing. for example, if a character is on the beach, i will listen to those specific sounds of crashing waves, wind blowing, etc that i believe my character is experiencing in that scene.

- when you have planned a scene and you’re unable to find your writing voice, you can totally- and i encourage it even- write informally first and once youre finished that and happy with the idea, you can overturn it into your writing style. for example, before writing the para for this scene in my novel, i basically wrote the following: 

First draft: “Character is sitting by the water and because of the waves, she’s moving a little and is also getting splashed by water. The sun is beaming down on her as she is staring at this spider in front of her. She is casually leaning back and puts her leg up and her arm over it as she inhales from her cigarette. As she inhales, she can taste the smoke, but also the smell of the seaside or whatever is in the air and how cool and nice and refreshing it is. Other than the waves, there are sounds of seagulls and the chatter of town folk near her.”

Final draft: “She swayed to and fro as the crashing waves shook the rock pilings she lounged on, the spray of water wetting her sun kissed skin. Fascination had her fixated on the struggling creature as she exhaled a cloud of sweet berzi smoke in the air. Throwing an arm over her raised knee, she leaned against the cool rock, inhaling deeply, feeling the taste of salt on her tongue and the crisp cool air feeding her lungs. Crying seagulls soared above the port of Herija’s busy market place, the hustle and chatter of daily life a consistent background noise in her ears.”

i find im more likely to go back and rewrite that simple guideline, rather than sit through a writer’s block because i am hoping or even forcing myself to write a certain way.

i hope some/any of that can help!! feel free to ask anything else if you like!

[losingsiide-archive-blog]

( mun ) alrighty then. cracks knuckles. lets see, first off, my college finals are done. thank fuck. all i gotta do now is show up for one high school class for a week and a half, take that final, and i’m done with junior year. i’ll repeat: thank fuck. queue has been bumped up to 24 posts a day, doubling the previous rate. i still have twenty books to read, and yes, that’s an exact number, and yes, it’s all because i’m a huge dork who loves reading. but i’m here! i’m free! like, officially! also: i’m gonna stop using  text on my replies, but as i already have a bunch queued, you’ll still see that for the next four or five days. 

[hobiorbit]

your work is amazing! but i've been wondering recently what's the writing and planning process like for you when you write these fics (like 3's a crowd owo) and how do you not procrastinate!

thank you! and as for the planning process, i hate to admit it but there really isn’t one... but i’ll tell you the things that remain constant for each fic!

usually, i’ll randomly get an idea because of a quote or a picture or something. pinterest is amazing for that!

next i tend to immediately write the idea i have down so i don’t forget it. usually that’s as far as it goes, and from then on i tend to just think about it and sleep on it. once i have a general idea it’s all i really need.

for some fics, the writing process is really easy. i like the idea, and new developments come as i’m writing. everything on my blog with the exception of one fic is actually a first draft... which definitely isn’t the most professional thing, but hey.

other times things don’t work out as i like, and my fic power up was one of those cases. i wrote that fic a good four times and every time something was wrong, and even now i’m not super happy with it even though i loved the idea. sometimes you just have to tell yourself you tried, and you can always revisit something later (:

as for motivation, here are a couple tips!

having a fic idea that you’re really excited for is good. don’t try and appeal to what you think other people will like. for me, this makes the writing feel impersonal because you’re writing it for everyone but you, which is no good!

secondly, i almost never give myself a deadline. i think deadlines do a lot of people good, but for me it tends to stress me out and either put me off from writing, or it makes me go into overdrive and then i’m working on quantity rather than quality.

write when you want to! writing shouldn’t feel like a chore, you’re supposed to enjoy it and get enjoyment from other people liking it. at least, that’s what it is for me! improvement is a good reason to write, too.

and if things aren’t working your way or if you have no idea how to start or continue or something, i encourage you to write anyways. assure yourself that you don’t have to publish whatever you end up writing, but just writing even a bit can spark new ideas, or even just continue what you started. it’s okay if it doesn’t turn out well. there can be multiple drafts, but it’s important to push through blocks.

and lastly, don’t worry about what anyone has to think or say. if someone asks about when an update is coming, don’t flounder and say a specific date. say you’re working on releasing it as soon as possible, and that’s good enough! you’re producing content for free. if someone doesn’t like your idea, don’t let it deter you. they don’t have to read it, and if you’re enjoying it that’s all that really matters!!

im so sorry for rambling lmao i hope this helped you!! if you have any more questions feel free to ask and i’ll answer as well as i can (:

[ruppmaranswuss]

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[wickedweeklywonders]

Movies to watch

-virtigo -green room

-gangs of new york -drive -the master -interstellar -django unchained -cannibal holocaust -audition -apocalypse now -natural born killers -gummo -300 -gladiator -phantom of liberty -enter the void -tree of life -8 and a half -the mirror -resevoiur dogs -mishima -slaugter house 5 -the sweet here after -inside luan davis -dead of night -before the ring -basic -last year at mariumba -go -mr nobody -hero -j f k -rashmon -5 by 2 -eternal sunshine -irreversible -memento -peppermint candy -casino -melancholia -eve -good fellas -citizen kane -amande chord -nashville -short cuts -babble -21 grams - paris jai taime -AJAMI -the godfather -the fountain -the atlas -dias de gracias -intolerence -woyoming for men -before sunset -Broke -1993 -high noon -jaws -neighbors -young and beautiful -the raid -ginger snaps -the nice guys -the shallows -ginger and rosa -frank -sinister -predestination -another earth -chappie -enemy -the girl king -the danish girl -hush -chicago -sucker punch -spy -the boy -carrie -lights out -wolf of wall street -Apocalypse Now -Childhood of a Leader -the fugitive -under seige -coal miners daughter -the client -no country for old men -hope springs -cobb -miami connection -upstream colour -tickled -kingdom of heaven -hoffa -the producers -blazing saddles -young frankenstein -minority report -shaun of the dead -the kingdom of dreams and madness -the story of jt leroy -hunger -alien -boogie nights -primer -children of men -127 hours -zombie man -lights out -jason bourne -dances with wolves -memoires of a geisha -ex machina -the witch /the vvitch -battle royal -star wars series -the departed -moneyball -oceans eleven -pretty woman -edge of tomorrow -hercules -muppets movie series -the fugitive -disco pigs -peaky blinders -breakfast on pluto -girl with the pearl earring -the wind that shakes the barley -following -momento -mr man -anthropoid -when the wind blows -friends of H -west world -cloverfield -chronicles of riddick -pitch black -the blair witch (2) -30 days of night -event horizon -pandorum -Blade -amityville horror -children of the corn -hell raiser -night of the living dead -dawn of the dead -survival of the dead -day of the dead -psycho sequels -final destination -army of darkness -texas chainsaw massacre -resident evil -paranormal activity sequals 4 and 5 -the omen -28 weeks later -hostel -fright night -sinister -sausage party -moana -pk -ran de basanti -about elly -the chaser -godzilla -dredd -oceans 11 -true grit -10 to yuma -footloose -the departed -thing -the fly -cape fear -brave heart -what a way to go -25th hour -annie -good fellas -weird science -wallstreet -point break -all that jazz -the apartment -resevoir dogs -royal tanonbombs -river runs through it -true romance -colour of night -rocky -first blood -back to school -raging bull -full metal jacket -vanilla sky -dogville -big fish -virgin suicides -planes trains automobiles -shattered glass -the last seduction -12 angry men -network -before the devil knows ur dead -the killing -paths of glory -ace in the hole -the rules of attraction -sulivans travels -oh brother where art tho -that thing you do -dog tooth -lobster -make this town go round and round -payback -the 5th eye -after the storm -all these sleepless nights -another country -apple pie -aquarius -as i open my eyes -author the jt leroy story -bacon and gods wrath -being 17 -beware the slenderman -bleak street -burden -captain fantastic -certain women -chevalier -dont call me son -the butterfly effect -the eagle huntress -endless poetry -figure -the first monday in may -the first the last -green room -happy hour -the heart of the matter -high rise -julieta -les demons -long way north -lost and beautiful -love song -the lure -michael smither the portrait -neruda -the pissy tits street gang/ -personal shopper -the qeen of ireland -the red turtle -sixty six -suburra -tanna -ten years -a touch of zen -under the shadow -variety -when two worlds collide -the wounded angel -zero dark thirty -the killing joke -sicario -napoleon dynamite -north by north west -aqua marine - nu pogodi -MARIE ANTOINETTE -SPICE GIRLS -13 GOING ON 30 -BREAKFAST AT TIFFANYS -CLUELESS -THE CLIQUE -LIZZIE MCGUIRE -southbound -once -kubo -the lobster -neighbors -nice guys -ex machina -morgan -cash only -creative control -low and behold -embers -kicks -dont think twice -sleep walk w me -the strangers -joy -american hustle -imagine you and me -life partner -the abyss -dr strangelove -bronson -cool hand luke -the good the bad the ugly -once upon a time in the west -lolita -gilda -goodfellas -dirty harry -sexy beast -M -laurence of arabia -young frankenstein -the producers -bonnie and clyde -suffragette -the danish girl -nathan barley -the lobster -cloud atlas -im not there -bright star -brideshead revisited -paddington -lilting -holiday -ginger snaps -blaire witch 2 -we are what we are -southbound -green inferno -knock knock -they look like people -hush -the hallow -the darkness -the other side of the door -the boy -the forest -the nightmare -the houses october built -the visit -sinister -eden lake -honeymoon -the lazarus effect -starry eyes -the village -the sacrement -american mary -the woman in black 2 -haunt -all the boys love mandy lane -tale of two sisters -uninvited -true lies -the revenant -operation avalanche -fear -boogienights -rumble fish -something wild -manhatten -mad max originals -great gatsby original -the champ -midnight express -the deer hunter -eyes of laura mars -lenny -lifeforce -the black cauldren -desperately seeking susan -purple rose of cairo -arrival -hocus pocus -what lies beneath -a dangerous method -like crazy -jeff who lives at home -young adult -stand by me -gone with the wind -the third man -lost in translation -la dolce vita -me and you and everyone we know -harold and maude -departures - The Librarians -Warehouse 13 -The River -Paranormal Witness -american horror story - Specter -Splinter -The Autopsy of Jane Doe -american horror story -star wars - Session 9 - The Call of Cthulhu - Martin - Cemetery Man - At Midnight I’ll Take Your Soul - Let’s Scare Jessica to Death -Ouija -Silent Night, Deadly Night -Only God Forgives -Amelie -The Royal Tenenbaums -The Tempest -Upstream Color -Event Horizon -From Dusk Till Dawn -The Devil Inside -Below -Hush -return of the living dead -the town the feared sundown -30 days of night -the invitation -the woman -my bloody valentines -grabbers -invasion of the body snatchers -the gift -12 angry men -anomalisa -young frankenstein -ex machina -das boot -under the shadow -blackfish -the bicycle thieves -city of god -old boy -downfall -holy motors -blue is the warmest color -i am love -beyond the hills -a hijacking -lore -the great beauty/ -the hunt -amour -Transsiberian -Robot & Frank -the bay -celeste and jesse forever -like crazy -perfect gateway -europa report -hard boiled -el mariachi -the hunt for red october -apocalypto -super 8 -close encounters of the third kind -melancholia -upstream colour -primer -buried -primal fear -sicario -the gift -bound -millers crossing -the firm -jackie brown -almost famous -american psycho -high fidelity -AI -memento -city of god -million dollar baby -children of men -the departed -this is england -zodiac -boys in the hood -men of children -shawshank redemption -the departed -on the waterfront -snatch -my cousin vinny -true grit -big lebowski -hunger -the naughty nineties -lucky number sleven -guildernstern are dead -grand budapest hotel -inglorious bastards -the third man -double indemnity -true romance -resevoiur dogs -hateful 8 -the master -the lion in winter -doubt -glengarry glen ross -steve jobs -the big chill -magnolia -end of tour -coffee and cigerettes -my dinner with andre -before sunrise -primer -before -end of watch -you can count on me -house of games -manhatten -the nice guys -heist -get shorty -lethal wepaon -kiss kiss bang bang -lock stock and two smoking barrels -withnail and i -in bruges -seven psychopaths -casablanca -the apartment -the girl on friday -the big sleep -horse feathers -duck soup -animal crackers -kind hearts and corronets -monty python -day of the triffids -assault on precinct 13 -chinatown -the invaders -nightmares -fear and loathing in las vegas -dr katz professional therapist -the big sleep -leviathan -earth vs the flying saucers -american graffitti -things to come -terror vision -the dain curse -brazil -the towering inferno -the third man -dead ringers -dark star -midnight cowboy -spies like us -get crazy -the dirty douzen -little shop of horrors -the man who wasnt there -rumble fish -gleaming the cube -fruitvale station -dancer in the dark -cries and whispers -in the mood for love -oceans eleven -the gold rush -spartacus -gladiator -platoon -do the right thing -saving private ryan -swingers -marathon man -nightcrawler -happiness -10 cloverfield lane -anomalisa -do lavon -room -waltz with bashire -blower -inside lou and davis -blow up -a serious man -mirror -synochechy new york -stalker -spring summer fall winter spirng -gataga -the fountain -devils rejects -half baked -jupiter ascending -devils advocate -the abyss -the accountant -american honey -iron fist -ipman -dragon -green hornet -chocolate -kungfu hustle -the man from nowhere -awake -creep -the girl in the photographs -beneath -honeymoon -let us prey -the houses october built -starry eyes - Lawrence of Arabia (1962) -Amelie (2001) -Withnail and I (1987) -Do the Right Thing (1989) -Hairspray (1988) -The Virgin Suicides (1999) -Morvern Callar (2002) -American Psycho (2000) -Life is Sweet (1990) -Barry Lyndon (1975) -The Riot Club (2014) -Samsara (2011) -BBC Panorama: Inside North Korea (2013) -The First Movie (2009) -Lessons of Darkness (1992) -Wadjda (2012) -From Russia with Love (1963) -Meek’s Cutoff (2010) -Selma (2014) -Moana (2016) -Tale of Tales (2015) -A Matter of Life and Death (1946) -Two Days One Night (2014) -Leviathan (2014) -The Passion of Joan of Arc (1928) -A Clockwork Orange (1971) -Ed Wood (1994) -Final Segment: The First Movie (2009) -man on the moon -magnolia -beginners -wet hot american summer -hot rod -airplane 1 and  ii -blazing saddles -dr strangelove -steamboat bill jr -when harry met sally -my cousin vinny -the jerk -the discreat charm of the bougousie -pineable express -theres something about mary -monty python football -young frankenstein -inglorious bastards -rat race -weekend -in bruges -animal cracker -naked gun -the naughty nineties -spaceballs -harold and kumar -planes trains and automobiles -super troopers -his girl friday -ace ventura -doubtfire -high fidelity -anchorman -caddyshack -best in show -some like it hot -top secret -hot rod -this is spinal tap -the producers -22 jump street -bruce almighty -office space -city lights -project a -kung fu hustle -duck soup -pork pie -lego batman -fences -hidden figures -moonlight -it comes at night -cure for wellness -kedi -i dont feel at home in this world anymore -the lure -okja -john wick -trainspotting 1 and 2 -baby driver -it -hell or high water -the bad batch -split -the belko experiment -the accountant -lion -embers -under the skin -stalker -adaptation -the taking of deborah logan -noroi -invisible 2: chasing the ghost sound -the good neighbor -they look like people -monkey bones -the searchers -shane -forty guns -high country -high plains drifter -the ox bow incident -rancho notorious -winchester 73 -unforgiven -the assissination of jesse james -one eyed jacks -outlaw josey wales -pat garret and billy the kid -butch cassidy and the sun dance kid -high noon -tombstone -my darling clementine -true grit -rio bravo -the man who shot liberty valance -the shootist -the wild bunch -el topo -hell or high water -lonesome dove -paris texas -mccabe and mrs miller -a bullet for the general -the great silence -fistful of dollars -once upon a time in the west -sholay -tears of the black tiger -good the bad and the weird -sons of great bear -the proposition -sukiyaki western django -black god white devil -whity -yojimbo -shanghai noon -red sun -serenity -big trouble in little china -serenity -from dusk till dawn -cow boys and aliens -my left foot -spotlight -hush -magic -dead of night -may -hannibal rising -red dragon -youree next -the step father -halloween -night of the living dead -john wick -counte of monte christo -the sacrement -the wicker man -the craft -are you afraid of the dark -wayward pines -texas chainsaw mascare -invasion of the body snatchers -alien -jacobs ladder -return of the living dead -the thing -audition -the mist -martyrs -let the right one in -monty pythons meaning of life -cemetary man -the frighteners -bill and teds bogus journey -the adventures of barron ma -skyfall -a few good men -training day -the last of the mohecans -the omen -