#and later additions surrounding the character have given me reason to enjoy him more fully and with less pressure that I used to feel

[penname-artist]

.

[heyitsani]

When You Move, I Move

DCU Big Bang submission

Word Count: 28,907

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Mentions of past non-con/rape (as written in canon), Major character death (temporary and as mentioned in canon as well), Threats of abortion, AU-ish?  Mentions of past lives.

Pairing: Dick Grayson/Jason Todd

Summary: “I am Fate.” The voice seemed to echo in the room and the two men looked at the being. Jason frowned, but lowered his gun to point down at the ground. Though he was ready to lift and fire the instant he felt something off. “This is an interesting development.”

“What is?” Jason grabbed Dick’s arm to keep him from moving closer to the being as Dick questioned it.

“N, stay back.”

“Very interesting, indeed.” Fate slowly dropped to the ground and the ethereal glow that had been surrounding them previously faded so they could see them more clearly. “There is only one person who could spell so beautifully, so intricately.”

Notes: Here it is! My addition for the DCU Big Bang.  And it’s a monster of a fic.

Okay this story completely ran away from the original outline. The POV jumps between Jason and Dick so you can get the complete picture, but if you need to know more to understand, go to the notes at the end where there be spoilers.

Dates and locations listed only when it's significant to know the time jump or place of the scene.

Two absolutely gorgeous art pieces for this story by @harishe-art here and by Vivi here. Both are somewhat spoilers, so proceed with caution.  

You can also read this on AO3 here.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

                                         CURRENT DAY

GOTHAM CITY

“Hood, wait!”  Jason could hear Dick’s voice through his synced comm link, but he wasn’t sure where exactly the other man was.  Not until blue and black flashed in his peripheral vision.  “They’re not hostile.” 

Jason looked up at the being who was hovering about six feet above the cold ground of the warehouse that was housing a coven of magic users who had been manipulating citizens to attack their lovers in order to make a sacrifice.  He kept his gun raised but moved his finger off the trigger, trusting Dick’s assessment of the situation more than his own.  Dick had done all the research after all.  Jason had been called in as last minute back up and only given the bare minimal details.  None of which included information on flying beings.  All Jason had known was there was a group of men who were sacrificing Gothamites for some unbecoming reason or another.  It was all he had needed to know.

Or so he thought.

“So?  Who the fuck is it?”

“I am Fate.”  The voice seemed to echo in the room and the two men looked at the being.  Jason frowned, but lowered his gun to point down at the ground.  Though he was ready to lift and fire the instant he felt something off.  “This is an interesting development.”

“What is?”  Jason grabbed Dick’s arm to keep him from moving closer to the being as Dick questioned it. 

“N, stay back.”

“Very interesting, indeed.”  Fate slowly dropped to the ground and the ethereal glow that had been surrounding them previously faded so they could see them more clearly.  “There is only one person who could spell so beautifully, so intricately.”  The being took a step toward them and Jason immediately pulled Dick back and slightly behind.

“What are you doing?”  Dick hissed, trying to tug his arm out of Jason’s grip.

“Keeping you from being an idiot.  We don’t know anything about this person outside of the fact that they were summoned through human fucking sacrifices!”  He could tell Dick wanted to snap something back, but instead Jason watched him take a deep breath and give him a nod.  He was trusting Jason’s judgement on this one.  And that was a little more startling than Jason wanted to ever admit.

“What a delight this will be.  It has been so long since I have encountered so much…history.”

“What do you mean by that?  Why did those warlocks summon you?”

“For something inconsequential and petty.”  The being waved a hand, looking bored.  Then in a split second, hands were clasped and an almost child-like, giddy expression overtook the boredom.  “You have eliminated their presence.  But I am here, and I am feeling particularly generous,” the being spoke, moving to the table where each of the seven sacrifices had taken place.  Jason watched them run a finger along the blood of the sigils.  The touch seemed delicate and reverent, but Jason found himself tensing.  “I have a gift for the two of you.”

The fuck?

“Say what now?”  Jason questioned, feeling Dick’s hand fist in the material of his armored leather jacket.

“Jay…”  He whispered, shifting his body closer but Jason couldn’t focus on the warm line of body heat he was providing.  He didn’t have time to dwell on that.  He also didn’t have time to rebuke him for the use of real names in the field.  He had to figure out if he would be able to get him and Dick out of there alive. 

“Hood.  Nightwing.  Report.”

“Those won’t be necessary where you’re going.”  And with a snap of the man’s fingers, Dick was hissing in pain and digging his comm unit out of his ear.  It fell to the ground, blackened as though it had been set on fire.  A moment later, Jason heard an audible pop in his helmet and knew his link was officially down.

“What do you mean?  Where are we going?”  Dick spoke up but remained behind Jason.

“To where you have already been.  Something beautiful was stolen from you both and I wish to show you what it was before you ruin the final chance of having it.”  In a blink of an eye, Fate was standing directly in front of them and pressing two fingers to each of their foreheads.  The last thing Jason could recall before he fell was reaching for Dick when he let out a strangled Jay.

200 AD

GOTHAM KINGDOM CAPITAL

“Come now, Ser Todd.  Surely you can do better than that,” a joyful voice sounded to his right and Jason looked over to see Richard standing there with his arms folded over his chest and an amused expression on his beautiful, golden features.  He looked perfectly at ease in his gold and white royal robes among the commoners meandering around.  The single blue gem inset in the gold circlet catching the sunlight just enough to twinkle the same way his sapphire eyes did.

He looked regal, as always.  But he could be in rags and still look stunning. 

“Of course, I can.  The question is whether or not I desire to.”  And Jason can’t help but smile at the laughter that spills from the lips he is far too familiar with.

“Hmmm, yes.  I do suppose desire does play a good part in this sort of game.”  Richard raised one of his hands and tapped his lower lip, circling behind Jason to come and stand on his other side.  “The desire to impress.  Or perhaps the desire to entertain.”

“Perhaps my desire is to leave this foolishness behind and entertain myself in…other ways,” Jason offered, turning his body so he could face Richard more fully.

“Are you not enjoying yourself, Ser Jason?”

“King Bruce,” Jason greeted with a formal bow.  The older man made his way over from another booth set up, with his guards in tow.  He cut an imposing figure, dressed in all black and just the slightest hint of the royal gold and blue.  He was quite the contrast to Richard’s white and gold, but there was no denying the power and confidence in either of them.

“Father…”  Richard’s sigh was long suffering, but fond and it made Jason’s heart ache with longing.  How he wished he had had his own father to feel that way about.

“Son.  I was simply inquiring as to whether or not our fearsome dragon slayer was enjoying his time at the festival in his honor.”  Jason watched Richard roll his eyes and look at Jason with the put-upon look only the King could pull from him.

“It is not in his honor, Father.  It honors all our country’s brave slayers.  Just because Jason is the only one now does not mean those who came before him are to be forgotten,” Richard commented, looking at his father.  The man looked amused for a moment before his face went back to the stoic mask the kingdom knew.

“Hmm, yes.  I do suppose you make a good point.  But I do as well.  Our Slayer should enjoy himself at a festival raised to honor him and those like him.”

“I am very much enjoying myself, Your Majesty.”  Jason spoke to the king, but his eyes were on the prince who was smiling brightly at him.

“Indeed.  I will leave you two to it, then.  Richard,” the king called as he walked away from the pair, pulling his son’s eyes away from Jason’s.  “Do remember what we talked about this morning.”  The smile fell from Richard’s lips immediately, but the king had already turned to continue on his way with his faithful guards following closely.

The shift in Richards mood was almost tangible.  Jason felt as though he’d probably be able to touch it, if he tried.  While Jason had seen plenty of mood shifts with Richard through the years of knowing him, he rarely did so in such an abrupt manner and never in a location like this.  Not when a subject could see them and gossip.

“Richard?  My Prince?”  Jason placed a hand on Richard’s upper arm and tried to pull his attention back to him.  What had they discussed this morning that would put such a scowl on the other man’s face?  “My love?”  The words were spoken softly, an attempt to keep them between just the two men as well as to try and get the other’s attention.

“It’s nothing of consequence.  Let us carry on.”  The smile was back on the other’s lips and to most it would see just as bright as before, but not to someone who knew Richard as well as Jason did.  This smile was brittle around the edges and pain was clear in his crystal blue eyes.

“It is clearly not nothing, but I will follow your lead as I always do.”  Richard turned thankful eyes on Jason and other man smiled gently. 

“Tonight.  I will tell you about it tonight.  I do not wish to ruin this day.”

“Then lead the way, My Prince.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Thank you to all the many visitors who have come to partake in our festival this day.  Please join me in raising a glass to the one standing dragon slayer of Gotham Kingdom!  Ser Jason Todd, may your sword always strike its final blow before you fall!” 

Jason smiled up at Richard as he stood in front of the table at the head of the room, body turned side facing so he could look at the other man as he proposed the traditional toast.  Jason raised his own glass in acknowledgement, a secret smile shared between the two, before pressing the rim of the glass to his lips for a drink.

The hall broke out in cheers as they all took drinks of their own and servants milled about to refill cups and plates.  It was always a sight to see, the hall filled with nobles and commoners there to celebrate one thing.  One of the only things that could pull the entire country together was honoring the dragon slayers of now and old. 

The tradition was deeply rooted in their culture, to the point that Jason was sure that it would remain long after the last dragon had fallen or the slayer line had.  Which wouldn’t be too long off considering he was the final of his family bloodline and had no intention of siring an heir to continue it.  So few dragons remained, he was certain it was safe to have the line die when he took his final breath.  But that was neither here nor there at the moment.

No, Jason only had eyes for Richard as he spoke to his stepmother, Queen Selina, who had stopped him on his way back around the table to retake his seat.  Though the conversation looked private, Jason still tried to get the gist of it over the noise of the hall.  But he was failing terribly and the knot that had been in his chest since the festival earlier that day.  The look on the queen’s face just cemented the concern.

“She is offering sympathy.”  Jason turned to find Richard’s only sister, Cassandra, standing by his chair.  “She does not agree with what Father spoke to him about this morning.”  The look on Cass’ face when she looked down at Jason told the older man he was correct in assuming he was not going to enjoy hearing about that conversation.  “Ah, Brother,” Cass smiled, lifting her glass to the approaching prince.  “I have orders to tell you that Timothy is quite displeased with being seated next to Conner of Kent.”

Richard snickered as he slipped into his chair.  “Well then perhaps he should simply tell the boy how he feels.  Then I would be less inclined to force the issue.”  Cass laughed, likely more amused at her brother’s meddling in the affairs of the young men than the young prince’s discomfort.  “At least one of us should get to have what our heart desires.”  Jason’s brows furrowed at that and he could see Cass tense out of the corner of his eye.

“Yes, well.”  Cass let out a cough and Jason glanced over at the young woman.  With a sharp nod and sympathetic eyes, she made her way away from the pair.

“I should like to know what that was about,” Jason commented, leaning back in his chair and watching Richard closely.  The other man gave little away, tearing a piece of bread off from the loaf near his plate and taking a bite before washing it down with the wine in his glass.

“You already know Cass is to be betrothed by the end of the year to someone of the Narrows.”

“Yes, but you said only one of you would get to have what your heart desires.  What of your heart, My Prince?”

“You are my heart.”

“And you mine.”  Dread was beginning to fill his chest and Jason was quite sure this was not the place to be having this conversation.  He watched the other man as he continued to consume the piece of bread he had broken, sapphire eyes drifting over the room.  “Richard?”  The name was spoken softly, aware of the people around him that would expect them to maintain propriety.

“Come, Ser Jason.  Take a turn about the gardens with me,” Richard said suddenly, standing from his seat and tossing the last of his bread onto his plate.  He didn’t, however, leave behind the wine glass and even allowed one of the servants to fill it before he stepped away from his chair and looked over at Jason.

“Of course, Your Highness,” Jason muttered, pushing to his own feet and moving to stand beside him.  Shaking his head at the offered wine from the same servant who had just filled Richard’s glass, Jason looked at Richard and waited for him to lead the way.

The exit was silent between them, Richard pausing a few times to speak with another member of court or greet a small child who wished to place a flower in his hair.  Jason remained silent and stoic beside him, hands clasped behind him so no one would see the tremors that had overtaken them.  He was starting to have a guess as to what this conversation was going to reveal and he was not certain he should have turned down that glass of wine after all.  It might have done his nerves well.

“Do you ever regret?”

“I try not to.  I find that it would make me far too similar to those who left me behind.”  Richard looked over at Jason and the younger couldn’t help but frown at the solemn look on Richard’s face.  “Are you facing regrets?”

“No, but I fear I will be forced to regret.”

“And what is it that you fear you will come to regret?”

He was met with silence as Richard turned away and continued to lead them down the path and into the rows of flowers and hedges, hiding them from the party they could still hear from where they were.

“My love, please,” Jason reached for Richard, grasping his upper arm lightly to make him stop walking and face him.  Once he was certain the elder would not walk away, Jason released his arm and placed his palm against Richard’s cheek instead.  “Please share your burden with me.”  Jason searched the other man’s face for any sort of answer, worry growing as he felt Richard take a shuttering breath.

“Father has decided that it is time for me to marry.”

Oh.

“And you cannot marry me because of the laws of old.”  Jason dropped his hands from Richard and took a step back, breathing deeply as the news washed over him.  He wasn’t a fool; he had known this would be coming one day.  But he had foolishly hoped they might be able to put it off a while longer.

“I do not…Jason,” Richard pleaded, dropping his chin to his chest and letting out a choked noise that did nothing but tighten the vice around Jason’s heart.

“Did he say when?”  The words, though whispered, sounded loud in his ears and must have to Richard as well given the flinch they invoked.

“Before the Winter Solstice.”  Less than half a year then.  Jason could see the wine glass trembling in Richard’s hand and knew he should take it from the older man, but his body felt frozen, lethargic from the pain in his chest.  “I do not want anyone else.”

“But you love your people, and you are too good a man to walk away from your duty to them.”

“And you are too good to ask that of me.”

And that would be the crux of their issue from this point on.  Jason could never ask Richard to be what he isn’t.  And though Jason felt selfish in his desire to have the man standing before him, he was not so selfish to sacrifice the sake of an entire kingdom just so he could have him.  Not when he had spent the entirety of his life thus far protecting that very kingdom. 

Richard had his duty and Jason had his.

And they would always be two men bound by that duty.  Neither willing to give it up or betray the people they protected and served.

“Brother?”  The sound of Prince Timothy’s voice filtered through the hedges of the maze and Jason watched as Richard took a deep breath and closed his eyes.  “Brother are you out here?”

“I am here,” Richard called out, voice steady and trembling under control.  A feat that Jason could only marvel at.  He still felt shaken to his very core and knew he probably looked it. 

The sound of footsteps on gravel pulled both their eyes as they spotted the young man turning the corner to find them.  “Oh!  Ser Jason!  I didn’t realize,” Timothy fumbled, and Jason just gave a bow of his head in respect.  And he tried not to cringe at the look of regret the man gave them both.  “Father is looking for you, brother.”

“Yes, of course.  I will head right in.”

“I could hold him off for the evening.  I could tell him you retired for the night.”  Jason looked at Richard just as he waved a hand. 

“Nonsense.  I will go see him shortly.”  Jason kept his eyes on Richard, but the older man kept his eyes on his brother.  “I promise.  I will be there in a few moments.”  There was no verbal response from Timothy, but Jason heard his footsteps heading away from them moments later.  “Will you retire with me tonight?”

“I will wait for you in your room,” Jason automatically said, even though he had a deep desire to run to his own home and hide away.  To deal with the pain of knowing he would lose this man in front of him.  Richard’s only response was to press a kiss to the corner of his mouth before hurrying past him to find his father.

Without bothering to watch the other man leave, Jason stood and raised his eyes to the dark sky.  The stars scattered in their various clusters blinking naively and promising more than they could ever provide.  Hopes and Dreams, his mother had called them before she had passed.  Hopes and Dreams of all those who came before them.  She had told him stories of great men and women who had wished upon their stars and gotten their wishes granted.  The child within his heart wanted to make his own wish, but he knew it would be folly.  He would not be granted that particular wish.

Not in this lifetime.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jason spent the next week drifting in a state of uncertainty.  Did he leave now so it wouldn’t hurt as much when Richard was finally wed?  Or did he take as much for as long as he was allowed?  How was he supposed to make this kind of decision?

Not that Richard had asked that of him.

No, the fool had begged him to help him find a way around this in the darkness of his room while they lay in bed together.  To stay with him because he was in love with him.  And Jason was tempted.  He was tempted to steal away the man and run without looking back.  Let one of his siblings shoulder the responsibility that Richard had never asked for but had been born into.

But he could never do that.  Not to Gotham and certainly not to Richard.

Not when Cassandra was not a blood heir and Richard wanted nothing more for Timothy than for him to marry the man he had been in love with since their introduction a short year ago.  No, Richard had too much love for those around him.  He would never allow them to bear the weight of his responsibilities.  And Jason could not watch the light fade from his eyes should he attempt to do just that.  No one loved Gotham the way Richard did.  The kingdom would remember him for the ages because he was bound to be the most benevolent of kings.

“My lord, there is someone here to see you,” the voice of his one servant called through the door.  Jason looked up when the sound of it opening filled the quiet of the room, not bothering to stand from his slouched position in the chair nearest to the window overlooking his modest grounds.  At least until he saw who it was who had entered the room.

“Your Majesty,” Jason shot to his feet and gave a hasty bow.  He silently cursed the manservant for not stating who it was he was allowing in.  But perhaps he didn’t realize, given the dark cloak he wore with the hood pulled over his head, shadowing his features.  But Jason had seen the man in the darkness of a hunt and knew all too well what he looked like in the shadows.

“Please, Ser Jason.  This is not a formal calling.”  Nodding when the king gestured to the two chairs, one of which Jason had just been occupying, he sat back down.  This time he remained rigid though.  The king pushed the hood off his head and adjusted the cloak to reveal his plain clothes hidden underneath.  Clothes Jason hadn’t known the King to even have.  “I know Richard has spoken with you in regard to what I have asked of him.”

Dropping his gaze to his lap, Jason nodded his head.  King Bruce had been somewhat of a surrogate father to him when he had taken up the mantle of dragon slayer after his father had fallen when Jason was just ten years of age.  He held great respect for the king, but he was still just a subject in the end.

“He did, Your Majesty.”

“He mentioned he has not since seen you.”

“I am struggling and do not want him to carry that burden.  I could never be the cause of that weight,” Jason admitted, glancing up at the king before turning his eyes back to the window he had been staring out before.

“Yes, I assumed as much.”  Silence stretched between them and Jason found himself looking over at the older man, wondering what the point of the visit was.  “I know you and my son love each other very much.  Much more than I ever loved the mother of my children.”  Jason had known the arranged marriage of King Bruce to Talia of the Al Ghul kingdom had been strained.  And when she had died, Richard had told Jason they were all secretly relieved to not have that animosity in the castle anymore.

“Why are you here, my King?”

“I have a possible solution that will appease both of you, as well as me.”  Frowning, Jason watched the other man closely.  “You cannot sit on the throne with him.  Not only can you not produce an heir, but a ruler cannot be wed to a dragon slayer.”

“So say the law of old,” Jason quoted the Scrolls of Oath that they all lived by.

“So say the law of old.”  The king sighed and leaned back in the chair, slouching in a way Jason had never seen of the older man.  “But you can warm his bed.”  The thought of that, of being an object, made Jason bristle with anger.  Richard would never lower him to that standard.

“I am not a trophy and he would not want that of me.”

“No, not a trophy.  But a beloved.”

“So, he should marry a woman of your choosing and then bed me on the side?  That is not a solution.”

“No, we find him a bride who knows she will never have his heart.  A marriage of convenience.  Perhaps a woman too many have passed over, someone who is looking maidenhood in the eye.”  And wasn’t that a thought?  A woman who would potentially be forced into the status of permanent maidenhood would accept just about anything in order to be wed.  The laws of the kingdom were just, but they did no favors to women who were unwed.  A woman facing that predicament would be desperate.  And what better solution than becoming a future queen? 

“Do you have such a woman in mind, then?”  The king nodded.

“There is a woman I might have spoken to from the late Queen’s home country.  Catalina of House Flores.”  Jason shook his head, not knowing anything of that particular family or woman.  “She has been deemed too headstrong by the men of her home and none have found her worthy of marriage.  I have drawn up papers that would give her the title that comes with marrying Richard, but none of the power or other benefits outside of the title and the heir.  He would be the sole ruler when he takes the crown, unlike those who came before him.”

“So, it would be as though he were widowed, without having been so?”

“Precisely.”

“And this lady is willing to accept that fate?  Did you tell her of me?”

“I did and though she hesitated, she said she could come to accept a loveless marriage if it would not doom her to The Church.”  Because that is where the Kingdom of Parbat sent their husbandless women.  The Church of Ra’s.  He had heard it a cruel and dangerous cult of followers to the king of the kingdom.  The king who always wore the title Ra’s Al Guhl no matter what his birth name was.

Jason looked away from the king and back out the window, considering the idea.  “What of Richard?  What does he have to say about this arrangement?”

“I have not spoken to him yet.  I did not wish to give him hope only to have you turn the idea down.”

“That is fair,” Jason admitted.  Of the two, it would have been him that would say no.  But his love was just as strong as his beloved’s and he would do anything to keep that light in his life.  “Tell him I am his so long as he would have me.”  Looking back over to the king, Jason found the older man smiling.

“You are like a son to me, Jason and had you not so clearly loved my son from a young age, I would have taken you in like I did Cassandra.  I only wish I could call you my son through marriage, but at least I can call you one in private.”

Bowing his head, Jason silently took to compliment and adoration.  He wasn’t sure how to react to it, so graciousness seemed to be the best option.  It was a strange sensation to have someone think of him as a son after so many years of being fatherless.  But it would be a lie if he, too, hadn’t always thought of the king as a kind of father. 

“Someone will send for you when I have Richard’s answer,” the king stood from his chair and pulled the hood back over his head.  “My son is a good man, better than I could ever be, and he will be all that I was never able to be.  That will only be enhanced with you at his side, no matter the capacity.”  Standing so he was level with he older man, Jason nodded.

“Richard is the best of all of us.  It is an honor to say that I have his heart.  It always will be.”  The king placed a hand on his shoulder and gave it a squeeze before he slipped back out of the room to head back toward the palace, leaving Jason to fully consider what exactly he just agreed to.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Fidgeting with the sleeve of his cloak, Richard walked briskly down the hallway that would lead him to the sitting room where the woman who had agreed to his terms of marriage was currently waiting.  His father’s manservant and the closest thing Richard had known to a grandfather, Alfred, had come and informed him that the King, Queen, and Lady Catalina were waiting his arrival.

When he had questioned Alfred on the state of the lady, the older man had simply pressed his lips together and gestured for him to hurry.  It was more telling than the man actually speaking.

She was not going to be a warm addition to the Wayne family then.

“Your Highness,” his personal guard, Victor, greeted him with a bow.  “Shall I announce you?”

“In a moment,” Richard said, taking a deep breath and releasing it slowly.  He repeated the action a few times before he gave a nod to the other man, who immediately opened the doors and stepped in.

“His Highness Crown Prince Richard.” 

Stepping into the room, he let his sapphire eyes take in the stiff posture of his father and the politely relaxed posture of his stepmother before he looked at the woman sitting across from them.  He made his way over but took mental stock of his future wife as he did.  Chocolate brown hair and deep brown eyes that were almost black from his distance.  Her skin was caramel colored as was typical for those from the country of Nanda Parbat.  But her features were not as sharp as his mother’s had been, not as harsh.  She could have been mistaken as almost warm if she hadn’t had an almost calculating look on her face.

And the smile that spread across her lips was probably meant to be friendly but was entirely too frightening.  She almost looked at him as if she had won a coveted prize.

“Father, Mother,” Richard gave the customary bow of his head before stopping before the chair Catalina remained seated in.  He wasn’t sure how to respond to that.  He was fairly certain that standing for the royal family was something traditional in her home country just as it was in Gotham.  “Lady Catalina, it is wonderful to finally meet you.”  The woman watched him with that creepy smile before she almost looked surprised.

“I apologize,” she exclaimed as she shot to her feet and rushed into a curtsy.  Richard might have believed her apology if he hadn’t already been set on edge by the look in her eyes when he had come into the room.

Glancing back at his father, Richard raised a brow before looking back to Catalina as she rose out of the curtsy.  “Quite alright, My Lady.  Will not be long before such formalities will be meaningless between us,” he appeased, gesturing for her to sit back down.  Once she had taken her place, Richard eyed the chair next to her but decided to remain standing with his hands behind his back.  It was more formal than he normally would have acted, but his instincts were screaming at him to remain formal for some reason.  And his instincts had never been wrong in the past.

“Richard, we were just discussing how much more pleasant the weather is here in Gotham when compared to Nanda Parbat,” Selina spoke up before taking a sip of her tea and sending him a knowing look over her cup. 

Richard hummed and nodded, looking down at Catalina.  “Yes, from what I remember the few summers I visited Grandfather, it is quite balmy and hot there.”

“Suffocatingly so,” Catalina laughed lightly.  “And the customs of modesty are much stricter than here in Gotham so you can imagine how much us women suffer in the heat.”  Her words caught him by surprise, but he did his best to contain an outward reaction like his father had always taught him to do.

“I’m sure it is…a struggle,” he replied, looking at his father again.  And he wasn’t surprised to find the guarded look on his face as he watched Catalina.  Richard wondered if the woman had any idea just what kind of impression she was obviously making.  “Have you seen the grounds yet?  I was told you arrived early this morning while I was in the lower city levels.”

“I have not.  I would not mind a tour, if you are offering Your Highness.”  He hadn’t been but he supposed he would have to act like he had been now.  Nodding his head, he unclasped his hands and offered his arm to the woman as she stood and rearranged her skirts.  She gave him that creepy smile again as she took it, and Richard suppressed another reaction before looking down at his parents. 

“Father, Mother,” he bowed his head again.

“Richard, before you go,” his father spoke up, standing and setting his teacup down on the tray next to his chair.  “We need to discuss that treaty with Central Kingdom before dinner.  So, when you are done with your tour, please find me in my study.”  There was a knowing look in the older man’s eyes and Richard could have hugged him right then in thanks.  He knew he was only bringing it up to allow Richard the chance to get away.

Nodding his head, he simply sent his gratitude through his eyes.  “Of course, Father.  I will come find you shortly.”  Glancing back to Catalina, he found her watching him with calculating eyes.  “Shall we, My Lady?”  Her features smoothed back into what he was beginning to realize was her neutral expression as she nodded.  Guiding her toward the door, he thanked the servant who held the door open for them so they could leave the room.  “Come, Victor,” Richard called as he walked down the hallway.  He didn’t really need his guard but having someone else around seemed like a good idea at the moment.

He walked the halls of the castle with Catalina on his arm, showing her various rooms and introducing her to the servants as they passed.  And while she seemed interested in the places, he couldn’t help but notice the barely contained disgust when greeting the servants.  The tone she used was strained and even the servants seemed surprised by the reaction she had to them.  It wasn’t like the Wayne family to be anything other than completely respectful to the people working for them.

“Do you like gardens, My Lady,” Richard asked as they stepped out of the castle and headed down the steps in the back.  He could hear his brother and sister laughing from somewhere beyond the stables and while he wanted to go see them, his instincts once again told him not to.

“I suppose,” came the bland response.  He could feel her shoulder shift upward in a shrug, but he continued onto the gardens that his grandmother had taken great pride in.  His father had worked hard to keep them pristine and they were definitely one of Richard’s favorite places to go to when he needed peace.  “It is too hot to grow much of anything back home, but I see that is not the case here.  How lovely.”  The words were expected and proper, but the tone rubbed him the wrong way.

“Your Highness,” Victor’s voice came from a few paces behind them.  Richard paused their walk and glanced at the guard.  “Do not forget you are to discuss the treaty.”  A reminder to Catalina, but an out for Richard.

Nodding, Richard turned back to Catalina and slipped his arm away from hers.  “The hours have gotten away from us and I do need to attend to my duties.  Victor will show you back to your rooms and your lady’s maids will help you relax and freshen up for dinner.  Thank you for the conversation, My Lady.” 

“I shall miss the company,” she responded, tone sickly sweet and Richard cringed inwardly.  And though he wanted to just turn and leave, he instead stuck to tradition and gave a respectful bow before hurriedly walking past Victor and back into the castle.  He didn’t bother looking back until he was about to enter into the stone building and found Catalina watching him.  The look on her face shuddered, but the narrowed eyes told him enough that her observance was anything but kind.

“Your Highness,” came a familiar voice to his left the moment he had slipped into the building and out of sight of the woman he was to marry, catching him off guard.

“Ser Jason!” 

“I see the future queen arrived,” Jason said as he remained leaning against a pillar in the entry way.  At the mention of Catalina, Richard glanced over his shoulder again and frowned before looking back to Jason.  “That is not a good look, My Prince.”

Sighing, Richard waved for Jason to walk with him because he did actually need to speak about the treaty with his father.  “She is…I’m not certain what word to use,” he admitted as they walked.  “Cold.  Calculating, perhaps?”  He thought about her reaction to the servants she met and the indifference to the stories of the family he had told her during the tour.  “I’m not certain this is a good idea, Jason,” Richard stopped and looked at the other man, worry clouding his features.  Jason frowned and placed a hand on Richard’s elbow.

“We don’t have to do this, Richard.  It does not have to be her.”  And though he knew Jason was right, Richard closed his eyes and sighed.

“I don’t have the time to search out another.  The crown is mine in less than a year.  Father wants me married before then.  The council will not accept backing out of the agreement with Nanda Parbat.”  But part of him didn’t care about any of that.  Part of him knew that this was a mistake.  That Lady Catalina would be a mistake.

“Is all that worth bringing in someone who is not a good fit for our country?” 

Shrugging, Richard opened his eyes and looked at Jason.  “Father would say it is not like she will have any power.  Even if I were to die before an heir were produced, the contract does not allow her to be a ruler.  Or even a Queen Mother if an heir is too young.  Selina would take the position or Timothy would be called up.  So, can I not just deal with the situation when she is nothing but a name on paper?”

“You can do what you feel is best, My Prince.  You always do,” Jason commented.  There was a but coming, Richard knew it.  “But your instincts have never been wrong when it comes to people.  And if you feel like this could be a mistake, then do not make it.”

Richard looked at Jason but remained silent.  There didn’t need to be any words because he could see Jason’s intent clearly written on his face.  And he knew Jason could see Richard’s resolve.  Both men knew this conversation was pointless because even if Catalina were the vilest of people, Richard would still stick to his word and go through with the wedding.  Because that was who he was.

He was a man of his word.

“Brother!”  Cassandra’s voice snapped the two men out of their silent conversation, causing them both to look as she came hurrying down the hallway.  “Father just told me to tell you he was waiting if I saw you.  Hello, Ser Jason,” she smiled at the two men.

“Thank you, Sister.  I am heading that way now.  Will you show Ser Jason the new equipment we got for the guards?  I wanted his opinion on the craftsmanship.”  Cassandra bounced in place and nodded before grabbing Jason’s arm and dragging him off to the storeroom where the new items were currently stashed.  “I’ll see you both at dinner,” he called out before they turned a corner.  Once they were out of sight, he took a deep breath and continued on his way to his father’s study.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

201 AD

GOTHAM CATHEDRAL

Standing before the looking glass, Richard looked over the royal marriage garments with a twinge of distain and disgust.  They were exactly what he would have worn to his hand fasting ceremony with anyone.  It didn’t matter who would be meeting him at the end of the aisle, this is what he would have worn. 

Except the small splash of orange and black in the jewel adorning his clasp.  The colors of House Flores.  Colors that clashed so horribly with the black, gold, and blue of House Wayne.

Colors that weren’t red and black.

Which was the real issue, and Richard knew that.  He hated the garments and the colors because he was marrying the wrong person.  He was marrying someone because he had to, not because he wanted to.  Because he couldn’t marry the person he wanted to marry.

“Brother,” the soft sound of his sister’s voice broke through his daze, pulling sapphire eyes to her rich chocolate ones. 

Turning to face her directly, he slipped a smile on.  The smile.  The one he wore in uncomfortable situations he had to be in despite the fact.  A smile his family had called him out on plenty of times.  “Is it time?”

“No, but I have someone who would like to speak with you,” she said, stepping into the room and letting the door slip shut behind her.  He frowned and looked over her shoulder before looking back to Cassandra with a raised brow.  “You can still put a stop to this.”

“I cannot.”

“You can.  You won’t.”  And maybe she was right.  But he was to be king and if he didn’t follow the laws, how could he expect his future subjects to do the same.  “You can rule without a queen.”

“And an heir?”  He watched her scoff and yeah, he deserved that.  There were laws in place to get around that issue.  He wouldn’t have been the first heirless king.  “I cannot go back on my word, Sister.  If I cannot keep my promises, what kind of King would I be?”

“On this, the people would understand.”

“But Father would not.”

“He could come to.”  Richard shook his head and let out a humorless laugh.  Their father was many things, but understanding was rarely one of them.  He was too by the book and too rigid in his ways.  Even Richard knew this arrangement was pushing the limits he had.  “You are making a mistake.  Only death lies down this path.  Death, loss, and pain.  So much pain.”

She sounded so sure, so certain of her words and it surprised him.  When Cassandra had joined their family, she had been mute.  They eventually learned that her biological father had deemed it unnecessary to have her speak at all, as she was just a woman.  It had taken years to teach the child to speak.  Now, whenever she did, it was with purpose.  She rarely said anything frivolous or untrue.  So, when she spoke, he listened.  But on this he couldn’t afford to follow.

“Who is here to see me?”

Her shoulders dropped in defeat as she stepped back to the door and pulled it open, revealing a nervous looking Jason.  And if Richard didn’t already feel like a mess, he would have certainly felt like one at the sight of the man he actually wanted to marry.

“I will knock when Father is coming to collect you,” Cassandra said quietly as she slipped out of the room after Jason stepped in.  Neither man acknowledged her words, but both heard them, and she knew it. 

When the door clicked shut behind her, Richard closed the remaining space between him and Jason and pulled him in for a kiss.  A kiss that spoke of so much more than he could say.  Of promises he wished he could be making to the other man.  Promises he would never be allowed to say outside of their small circle of family who knew and cared about their happiness.

“Richard…” Jason whispered against his lips, but the older man ignored them and pressed closer.  He was in danger of ruining his clothes, but he couldn’t bring himself to care.  Not when this was all he wanted.  “Richard, please My Love.”

And despite his desperate need to be close to the other man, Richard let Jason push him back a small space so they could look at each other.  And he hated what he saw in the other man’s eyes.  “You’re leaving.”  He had seen that look in Jason’s eyes every time he rode away from the capital to protect their lands.  Too many times had Richard had to say goodbye to the other man without knowing if he would ever see him return on his own volition. 

“I am.”

“Why now?”

The question looked like it pained Jason to hear it and Richard wanted to take it back, but he also wanted to know what would make Jason leave at a time when he was going to want him.

“They’ve reached Central.  The rider came early this morning and he and I have been in consul ever since.  They’re heading straight here.”

Then there was no way to delay.  The kingdom’s safety came first for both of them.  Richard would never be selfish enough to ask him to delay his trip.

“And…”  Jason cleared his throat and Richard took a step back, frowning.  Jason’s hands slipped from around his waist to fall lifelessly at his sides.  “You have a duty to attend to the next few weeks.  My presence would get in the way of that.”  And whether or not the other man meant it to, the words were like a sword in his back.  Twisting into the depths of his heart from behind and poisoning him slowly.  “I am not strong enough to see that.”

“So what?”  Richard’s voice came out low, controlled just enough to hide the tremors he could feel in his body.  “You remain gone until word of an heir reaches you wherever it is you go?”  The words were said out of spite, but the bowing of Jason’s head told him he wasn’t wrong.  “Jason…”

“I am weak,” Jason admitted softly, eyes trained on the ground and shoulders hunched as if he were trying to make himself seem smaller.  A sight Richard had never seen of the other man.  It was wrong.  All of this was so wrong.  This conversation, this farce of a wedding, his contract with a woman he couldn’t even find common ground with.  All of it was simply wrong. 

And Richard wondered if this was the start of the pain his sister had been warning him of.

“So, you just came here to say goodbye for an undetermined amount of time.”  Jason nodded and Richard turned his eyes upward to try and ward off the tears he could feel building in the corners of his eyes.  He wasn’t sure what else to say right then.  Did he wish Jason well?  Did he tell the other man he would be anxiously awaiting his return?  Did he wish ill upon him?

But Richard knew he would never do that last one.  Not to Jason.  Not for this.  Or for anything, honestly.

“Will you send word?  I understand and accept that you cannot be here for your own wellbeing, but please do not leave me with nothing,” he asked, lowering his gaze to find Jason staring at him with his own tear-filled eyes.

“I will send you so many letters you will be sick of me,” Jason promised, pulling Richard close again.

“Never.  I will never be sick of you.”  Closing the remaining space, he pressed his mouth to the corner of Jason’s mouth before resting his forehead to the other man’s temple.  “I will miss you more than words will be able to convey.  But I wish you safe travels.  Do not forget you take my heart with you.”

“As mine stays here.”  A sharp knock on the door alerted the men to the approaching king and they stepped away from each other.  With a sad smile, Richard pressed his fist over his heart and bowed just as the door to the room was opening, revealing his father in his formal robes.

“Ser Jason,” King Bruce greeted the man before looking at Richard, frowning for a moment before smoothing out his features.  “You ride?”  He turned to fully face the Slayer.  Richard knew the bow his father witness told him all he needed to know.

“I do.  King Barry sent word that a pod has reached Central.  I am leaving now.  Just…” Richard watched Jason glance to him before looking back to the king.  “I just needed to say my farewells.”

Bruce nodded and Richard smoothed out his robes.  “Safe travels, Ser Jason.  We will look forward to celebrating your inevitable victory.”  It was formal and tight, but Richard could hear the fondness and understanding.  It was almost as if the older man knew Jason would not be returning immediately.  “Richard, my son, it is time.”

“Of course,” he sighed.  “Safe return, Ser Jason.  I’ll await word.”  Richard tried to smile at the man he loved but could only manage a pained half smile while the other man gave a bow of his own.  Without another word, Richard hurried out of the room and past his sister who had been standing there frowning the entire exchange.  He hated that frown, that gleam in her eyes.  It made him fear the future.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He heard them before he saw them.  The familiar voices of Alfred, King Bruce’s manservant, and Timothy floating to him well before the pair had even reached the spot he always met Alfred for the exchange of letters. 

It had been over two months since the wedding of his nightmares and Jason had kept his word to Richard.  Once he had returned to Gotham a month prior, he had called upon Alfred to give the other man the first of many letters. 

And soon enough a routine developed.

Every three days Alfred came to the outer walls of the city and Jason gave the man a letter for Richard.  After the very first, Alfred gave him a letter of his own in return.  It had been the first splash of warmth he had felt since the morning of the wedding when Richard had left him to begin the preparations so he could marry someone else.

Jason had laid there in their bed for a long time after Richard had been swept away and wondered if any of it would be worth it.  It hurt.  More than any wound he had ever endured over his years and yet, he willingly went back for more each and every day.  He just kept throwing himself at the feet of the one man in the kingdom that he couldn’t have.  There was only one written law about marriage in the old laws.  Only one commandment about who could never marry.  A ruler, King or Queen, could never marry a Slayer.  Jason could marry any other member of the Royal Family except for the one person he wanted to marry. 

But after Richard had left the morning of his wedding, Jason had doubted.  He had doubted that their love for one another was enough to outlive a marriage of convenience.  He doubted it was strong enough to stand the tests that laid ahead of them.  And when he got the letter about the dragon pod reaching Central, he thanked whoever had been listening to his turmoil.

It had been cowardly of him to leave immediately but he had been hoping for some excuse to get out of watching Richard marry Catalina.  And the gods had listened.  They had given him an out and he had taken it.

He didn’t regret it though.

As much as he missed Richard’s face and laying next to him every night, he did not regret missing the wedding or the past two months.  He knew he would never had survived it.  And if Richard’s words were anything to go by, he understood.  And how lucky was that?  How lucky was Jason to have someone who understood him so thoroughly?

“Ser Jason,” Timothy greeted with a wide smile as he and Alfred rounded the building he was currently sitting in front of with a waiting pot of tea and finger foods.

“Your Highness,” Jason said out of habit, standing to give him a small bow even though the kid would never expect it of him.  But out where anyone could see them, Jason knew to keep up appearances.  “Alfred,” he turned to the elderly man with a smile.  The aging man who had been with the family for longer than King Bruce had been alive returned the smile before taking his seat.

“I do hope you don’t mind that Prince Timothy joined me today.  He was quite insistent.”  That made Jason’s eyebrows jump as he looked back to the prince who was pulling up an extra chair and taking his seat.  Jason dropped back down into his once both men were seated.

Timothy gave Jason a wry smile before snatching a cookie off the tray.  “I overheard Alfred talking with Richard about coming to do the letter exchange.”  His tone was unapologetic, and the shrug cemented that fact.  “Alfred is reserved and I thought you might like to hear how my brother is doing without his filter or Richard’s influence.”

“I would,” Jason agreed, nodding his head.  “I would like that very much.”

“He is stressed,” Timothy commented before pausing when a server hurried out and produced a third tea cup with an apology.  The young prince smiled his thanks.  “Nonsense, you didn’t know I would be here.  Thank you very much, miss.”  The young girl blushed and asked if they needed anything else, but the three men shook their heads and she hurried off.  “Catalina is…”  Timothy stares off in the distance for a moment and Jason frowns before looking over at Alfred who just looks resigned.  “She is going to be a problem down the road.”

Jason leaned back into his chair and remained silent as Alfred poured the tea into their cups and took a cookie for himself, placing it on his saucer.  “The future queen is quite particular.  About a great many things.”  Alfred’s words cause his frown to deepen.

“Father and Richard have had some very private arguments about the situation, and I think it only aides in the situation.”

“What do they fight about?”

“Catalina is rude to the staff.”  Jason nods, that he had already been made aware of.  “And you know how Richard and Father are when it comes to respecting those who work for you.”  Jason also knew that.  There was too much honor between the two of them to not treat everyone with the respect they deserve.  “Father thinks Richard is not handling it properly, but we’ve all heard him rebuke her.  She is just…”

“Unkind.”

“That’s a strong word from you, Alfred,” Jason commented.  The elderly man hummed and took another sip of his tea.  “What else is stressing him out?”

“Your absence.”  It was blunt and Jason tried to not take offense because that was just the way Timothy spoke.  He didn’t sugar coat anything.  “There are also some state matters.  And the impending coronation.  But he and Cassandra have had some hushed conversations that neither is willing to share.  Though I’m pretty sure Alfred knows.”  The young prince turned amused eyes onto the other man and Jason just chuckled when a white eyebrow raised in response.

“What did you wish to accomplish with this conversation, Your Highness?”

“Nothing, really,” Timothy shrugged and took a sip of his tea before snagging another cookie.  “If I’m completely honest, I am here for Richard as much as I’m here for you.  The letters are nice, but I do believe he’d like to hear more than the fact that you are simply ‘well’, as Alfred relays.”

And that was fair.  He did appreciate hearing the truth about the state Richard was in.  And he knew that Richard would probably appreciate the same.  He might be able to see the other man at a distance, but the other hadn’t seen him since the day Jason had left.  He couldn’t imagine how hard that would be.

“Thank you, brother,” Jason said warmly.  The young man smiled brightly at the rarely used moniker before launching into a report of how the other people in the family were currently doing.  The conversation wasn’t the usual one he and Alfred would share, but he had to admit that it was a nice change of pace. 

So he just leaned back and enjoyed the company for the short amount of time he got it.

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

202 AD

GOTHAM CASTLE

There was something going on. 

The air of the city had changed over the past week, and Jason could hear whispers among the gossipers.  The women from the brothel who he let stay in his spare rooms were all a titter and it concerned him.  Enough that he avoided the kitchen where there were three of them giggling.

“Oh Ser Jason!”  Artemis called in greeting as he stepped out of his front door.  She stood from the chair where she was mending one of her dresses.  “An elderly man dropped this off for you very early this morning,” she said as she pulled a letter with a familiar seal on it from her apron.

Rushing forward, Jason snatched the letter and Artemis chuckled as she sat back down.  But he ignored her and tore through the blue wax seal.  Alfred wouldn’t drop off a letter out of schedule unless something had happened.  Bad or good.  There was news.  His eyes scanned the familiar script of Richard’s hand until he found it.

Catalina is pregnant.

My Love, come home.  I miss waking up to your face every morning.  I hate this cold bed that you have left me to lie in alone.  I return to it every night and lament that we are apart.  My task is done.  Please, my love.  Please come home.

Letting out a huff of breath, Jason dropped into the other chair in front of his house and felt all the stress drain out of him.

“Good news then, Ser?”

Glancing over at Artemis, he blinked before a wide smile spread across his face.  “The best news.”

“I take it your home will be empty for the unforeseen future?”  Raising an eyebrow at her, he shook his head as she cackled.  “You think the city doesn’t already know the future Queen is pregnant?  You think those of us who love you don’t know why you have been staying here versus sharing your Prince’s bed?”

“You assume much.”

“Do I?”

Jason wanted to say yes, but instead he pursed his lips and looked out to the distance where the sun was barely lighting the sky.  She wasn’t wrong, he knew that.  He also knew how much of Crime Alley knew just who he was to the future king.

“Will you let the others know there’s a spare room now?  Raven mentioned a new girl.  Make sure she has a place to stay.”

“We always do.  And I know,” she held up a hand to stop him from saying anything more.  “If we need something, tell Ser Roy and he will see that it gets done or that you are made aware.  Go to your prince, Ser Jason.  We both know this has been a long few months for you.  I do not wonder if it has been the same for him.”  Jason paused for a moment longer before Artemis sent him an unimpressed look and he shot out of his chair, rushing back inside to gather the things he would immediately need.  He could come back for his armor and other gear. 

Slinging the leather bag over his shoulder, he took one last glance around the room before he hurried back down the stairs and out the front door.  He decidedly ignored the catcalls from the women in his house as he gathered up his horse and mounted her.  He also ignored the words called out to him as he carefully rode through the city levels toward the palace.  He didn’t need to think about just how many people knew exactly what it was he was doing.  And how so many people knew about the pregnancy before he did. 

He wondered if Richard had done that on purpose.

“Ser Jason,” Victor, Richard’s personal guard greeted him in the courtyard.  “Shall I send your horse to the groom?  Richard is having breakfast in your rooms.”

Their rooms.

Because he got to have that honor with Richard and Catalina did not.  The doubts he had continued to be plagued with over the months melted away at the simple statement.  Victor hadn’t even thought about it.  It had been natural, and Jason felt more at home then he had since the day he rode to Central on Richard’s wedding day.

“Yes, the groom would be good,” Jason nodded, patting the flank of his horse before he headed up the steps.  He made sure to keep his gait steady and calm, giving an air of relaxation despite the desperation he felt. 

He smiled and returned greetings sent his way.  He paused to speak with a few servants who he had grown up with.  With each step he felt more and more at home. 

“Ser Jason, you have returned,” Cassandra appeared in the hallway just as he was getting ready to round the corner to the hall where Richard’s rooms were.  Pausing he smiled at the woman and nodded.  Her gaze was concerned but friendly.  “He has missed you.  But he waited a week before he sent word about the baby, to be sure no one thought poorly of your return.  But she has been pregnant for three months now.  The doctors say the pregnancy should stick.”

“That’s good.  I am…”  He paused, thinking of the right way to phrase his thoughts.  “I am glad for the parents to be.”  Cassandra let out a huff of air and he could see her holding back a smile.  “I shall see you at dinner, if not sooner.”

“Hmm, something tells me no one shall see either of you until tomorrow at the earliest,” she said teasingly before turning to walk the opposite direction.  Jason watched her go with a chuckle before he continued on his path. 

The deep oak of the door was so familiar and for a moment Jason stood there with is forehead resting against the cool grain of the wood.  The happiness he had been missing for over half a year now was right on the other side of the door and it was almost overwhelming to think about how close it was.  The familiar scent of Richard and the warmth of his skin.  The sapphire blue of his eyes that no painter ever seemed to be able to get exactly right.  The glint he got in his eyes when he laughed one of those deep belly laughs at something stupid someone said.  The way his jet-black hair curled just so over the tops of his ears. 

It was all finally within his reach and though his heart ached with the need to see the other man, he suddenly felt nervous.  Despite the letters, despite Richard writing out his feelings for Jason, he couldn’t help but wonder if things had changed.  Despite the fact that Richard had begged him to return home in the letter that was still in his pocket right then. 

“How long are you going to stand there like a fool?”  Jason whirled around to find Roy, one of the guards and his best friend, leaning against the opposite wall with a wide grin on his face.  “I know what you’re thinking, and you need to stop.  You need shut that brain off and just go in there.  You have not had to deal with him while you have been gone.  You got to avoid all of this, but he has been in the thick of it.  And he has been stuck with a woman who is manipulative.”  That made Jason frown, but Roy ignored him and pushed away from the wall.  “So, you are going to suck up whatever you’re feeling and you’re going to go in there and make him smile again.  A real smile.  Not the fake one we have had to see since you left.  Got it?”

“Roy, what did she do?”

“I’ll tell you tomorrow out on the sparring fields.”  Glancing back at the door, Jason considered pressing the issue.  “Go,” Roy said before he could question it, moving forward to land a hard knock on the door before pushing it open.  “Ser Jason Todd,” Roy announced him as he shoved him into the doorway with a firm hand on his back.

The door was shut behind him before Jason could say or do anything, but once he caught sight of Richard half risen from the chair near the balcony in their main sitting room, he didn’t care.  It had been too long since he had been in the same room as the man he loved more than his own life and he couldn’t be bothered to think about anything else.

“You came.”

“Did you think I wouldn’t?”  Richard straightened and took a few steps toward him before stopping and shaking his head.  “Did you really think I would break my word?”

“I didn’t want to hope.  There…”  Richard looked off just beyond Jason’s shoulder and the younger man frowned at the look on his face.  He couldn’t pinpoint exactly what it was, but he could see what Roy had been hinting at.  He could see the stress lining the elder’s eyes just as Timothy had mentioned.  And he could see the way his clothes hung off him in an unnatural way.

“My Prince?”

“Hope has not been my friend as of late, My Heart.”  And if Jason’s heart hadn’t already ached for the other man, it certainly would have started to then.  But he didn’t want to dwell on that right then.  No, there would be time to hear what things the prince had placed his hopes on only to be let down.  Right then there were more important things.

So instead of questioning, Jason closed the space between them with nearly silent footsteps and gathered the other man in his arms.  And perhaps everything up to this point had felt like coming home.  The greeting in the courtyard, the conversation with the servants, seeing Roy, it all had felt so familiar.  But this?  This was the moment when he was really coming home.  With his arms securely wrapped around Richard, his face buried in Richard’s hair while Richard pressed his to the spot where Jason’s neck met shoulder.  This was home.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

203 AD

GOTHAM CASTLE

“He is beautiful, my lady,” Richard said softly, taking the bundle from his wife’s nurse.  The words held more warmth than he had ever spoken to her and while he felt some guilt at that, she had known what she was signing up for.

“What shall you name him, my lord?”  Glancing over at his wife, not at all surprised to find her already proper and looking as though she wasn’t giving birth just an hour earlier, Richard furrowed his brow.

“I do believe I like him as Prince Damian.”

“The tamer,” Catalina muttered, huffing a breath.  She obviously didn’t approve but thankfully tradition didn’t cater to her feelings on the matter.

“Powerful man of the people,” Richard corrected.  Though, she was not technically wrong.  The name did mean both.  But he had liked it for the meaning of being a man of the people.  He prided himself as the people’s king and he wanted to raise his heir to be the same.  His wife sighed and leaned further into the pillows propping her up.  “Do you need anything, my lady?”

“Quiet and sleep.  Take him to the wet nurse or keep hold of him, I care not.  Just remove yourselves from my rooms so I might rest.”  There was coldness in her words and though Richard had never known her to be a particularly warm woman, he hadn’t thought she would be the same with her child.

Glancing down at the sleeping baby, he frowned.  “You don’t wish to nurse him yourself?” 

“No.  Now leave.”

And he did, with one last glance at his wife before he exited her room and found himself in an empty hallway unsure of what to do next.  He had never been left alone with a baby who had just been born and he wasn’t sure what to do.

“Shall I call the nurses, Your Majesty?”  Glancing over at his guard, Victor, Richard considered it.  Did he want to hand off the child and just be done with it?  Or did he want to keep his son for a bit longer.  Damian had fallen asleep in his arms when he had taken him from the nurse initially, but he wasn’t certain how long he would go before he needed to eat.  And Richard knew he certainly couldn’t handle that.

Looking back to his son, he ran a finger along the chubby cheek.  “Send the nurse to my study.  I will speak with her in there,” he said.  The other man looked surprised but gave a bow and headed in the opposite direction of where Richard himself would be going. 

It wasn’t until Victor turned the corner that Richard headed toward the room where he had asked the guard to send the nurse.  And through the silent halls, usually bustling with servants or other members of the household, Richard kept his eyes on the sleeping boy in his arms.  This perfect creation from a situation that was anything but. 

His silver lining.

“Richard!”  The surprised shout of his name caused him to stop short as he pushed his way into his study.  “I thought…”  Jason’s voice trailed off as he took in the small bundle in Richard’s arms.  “Is that…?”  Nodding, Richard fully entered the room and let the door shut behind him as Jason rounded the couch he had been seated on.  Richard could see a book lying face down, open on the cushion next to where he had been seated.

“This is Damian,” he told the younger man when Jason came to a stop in front of him.  “My son.”  Looking down that the boy in his arms again, Richard could feel the same warmth of love he felt when he was around the people he cared about the most. 

“He is beautiful, My King,” Jason commented quietly.  “How is his mother?”  And though he said it without inflection, Richard could tell it pained Jason to do so.  It pained him to see the man he loved have what they had always wanted together with another person, a woman at that.

“Resting,” Richard replied, watching Jason as he watched Damian.  “Indifferent, it seems.”  That caused Jason to look up at the other man and Richard pressed his lips together.

“You are concerned?”

“I don’t want him to wonder if he was loved.”

“No, Richard,” Jason raised his hands and gripped Richard’s face.  “She is not Talia and you are not your father.  He will never doubt your love.  I cannot speak for Her Majesty, but I can speak for you.  And you will never let him think he is anything other than cherished.”  But Richard wasn’t certain that what Jason was saying was true.  How could he be?  He was newly crowned and he knew that was when the dynamic between he and his own father had changed.  Would it be the same with him and his own son?  “Stop, My Love.  Stop.”

“How can you be so certain?”

“Because I am certain of who you are.  And I am right here to remind you of the fact, should I ever notice the need.”  A knock on the door was the only thing that stopped Richard from leaning in and stealing a kiss at that moment.

Instead of calling out like he usually would, not wanting to risk waking Damian, he stepped away from Jason and let the other man walk over to the door and pull it open.  The nurse Victor had retrieved stood on the other side, visibly surprised to find Jason answering the door.  But she gathered herself quickly when her eyes landed on Richard and Damian in his arms.

“Your Majesty,” the nurse said softly, bowing after she had entered the room.  “I am Stephanie and am to be your son’s nurse.  I was informed that Her Majesty does not intend to nurse him herself, so I will handle that.  I can care for him throughout the day so you can go about your duties as usual.” 

“I would like him close.”  The woman tilted her head in question and Richard looked at Jason, who gave him a nod, before steeling himself.  “You may care for him and nurse him as he needs, but I would like him with me.  Which means we will need to have you briefed on security and the other things you will encounter while working in close proximity.”

“I will have Victor prepare the necessary procedures,” Jason said before he slipped out of the room. 

There was silence between the nurse and himself for a moment before the woman seemed to relax a little.  “I was worried how much you would want to be involved in the baby’s life at this stage.  So many fathers want nothing to do with their children until they are well behaved and polite.”

“I never want him to doubt my place in his life or his in mine.  He is my heir, but he is my child.  And I want to be sure he knows he is my child before he is my heir.”  The smile he got in response was blinding and surprising.  “But there are some things you will be made privy to working this close to me and I need your word and bond that what you witness will remain between us and other parties involved.”

“You refer to your relationship with the Slayer?  The entire kingdom knows you love each other.”  Richard smiled and nodded his head toward the couches before he moved to sit in one of the armchairs.  Stephanie followed and took up the place Jason had previously been occupying.  He watched her glance at the book before looking back to him.  “There are plenty of speculations about a possible treaty of sorts between you and the queen regarding Ser Jason.  I take it I am to learn of what is the truth?”

Glancing down when Damian shifted in his arms, Richard rocked himself gently to make sure he didn’t wake up, before looking back to the young woman.  “There is a treaty of sorts.  She is my wife in name alone.  And now that she has provided me with an heir, she is only a name on paper.  She will never have power and she will never have my heart.”

“That does not seem fair to her.”

“It is nothing that wasn’t made perfectly clear to her before she even traveled across our borders.”  He knew it wasn’t traditional among the citizens of the city.  They married for love and rarely was there any purpose to do anything other than that.  But Richard had not been in the position where he could have done the same.  Looking down at the baby in his arms, Richard sighed.  “I cannot marry the one I want.  Not because I couldn’t find a way around the laws, but because I cannot ask my kingdom to follow the laws when I am willing to break them for my own desires.  I want my people to follow me because I am fair and just.  Because I love them and do not rule by fear.  So, I had to marry someone who could provide an heir, at least in theory.  And I needed to marry someone who the law allowed.” 

Looking back to Stephanie, he gave her a sad smile.  “The laws of old may be old, but they are fair.  And a ruler cannot marry a slayer.  It is one of the only laws about marriage.”

“And what of your brother?  Could he not rule so you could marry for love?”

“He could, but he loves someone who will never be able to provide him with an heir.  And I could never ask him to give up what I would not.  Love is…”  He sighed and looked away, trying to think of the right term for what he felt.

“I understand.  Maybe not about love, but I understand why you found the compromise that you did.”  Richard looked back to her and nodded.  “Your people paint you in a light that is most flattering.  They sing songs about the great king you will become.  I never thought they were right.  Your father is just, but he is not one of us.”

“Neither am I,” Richard laughed, and Stephanie let out a chuckle of her own, nodding in agreement.

“No, you are not.  But you are kind and selfless.  You would give up the greatest gift us commoners could get just so your brother would not have it taken away.  That is why the gods have blessed you in abundance.  You have the man you love, a beautiful son, and the love of your people.”  It was an interesting perspective and he supposed she might be right.  “There was great celebration when you were crowned.  There will be more celebration for many years to come, mark my words.”

Silence fell between them and Richard thought about the faith that this woman, and the other citizens of Gotham, had placed in him.  He could only hope they would not be proven foolish to do so.  He had been raised to take the crown and it had been a struggle to keep his heart warm through all he had seen under his father’s rule.  He was a good man, but he ruled with a rigidness that had never been Richard’s.  No matter how much the elder and the council had tried to make it.  He would never been without his emotion and his heart.

“Now, may I relieve you of your son and feed him?” 

“Oh, I didn’t realize that even if he wasn’t crying he was hungry.”

“Being born is quite exhausting, but it has been hours and I doubt he has been fed as of yet.”  With wide eyes, Richard handed over the small bundle and bit down on the guilt that they could have held off on this conversation until after Damian had been fed.  “Don’t fret, Your Majesty, not even mothers realize this at first.  Now, as far as feeding.  I can do it in your presence or in another room.  Whatever your comfort level.”

“Um,” he hesitated, trying to think of the right answer to that particular situation.  He wasn’t sure if it was proper, but he wasn’t sure if it wasn’t either.  If it had been Catalina, he would have probably left the room, but that was out of awkwardness more than propriety.

Stephanie laughed and moved toward the door.  “I will go to the room next door and return once I am finished.  You consider what your comfort level is and let me know once you decide.”  He could only nod as she slipped out of the room and Jason came back in after holding the door for her.  Victor followed him in and the pair raised their brows at the slight flush on Richard’s cheeks.

“Do we want to know?”

“Likely not,” he breathed, waving a hand as he slouched in the chair a bit.  “I have filled her in on the situation but Victor, if you could draw up the contract and go over the formalities, I would greatly appreciate it.”

“My King,” the other man nodded, giving a bow before he exited the room as quickly as he had entered.

Richard watched Jason make his way over to the spot he had been sitting in earlier, leaning down to pick up the book, mark his place, and set closed on the table next to the couch.  He looked preoccupied and deep in thought, and Richard wasn’t sure how to ease whatever worries plagued him.

“My Heart?”  Jason hummed and looked over at him as he lowered himself onto the couch.  “Where are your thoughts?” 

“Everywhere, if I am to be honest,” the other man said, drawing one knee to rest with his foot hanging off the couch while his other foot remained on the ground.  He leaned into the corner and rested an arm along the back of the couch, looking the very picture of relaxed.  But Richard knew better.  “I wonder how the interactions between you and your wife will be now that Damian is here.  I wonder where the little prince will rest at night.  I wonder if things will change between us now that another occupies part of your heart.”

“Never.”  Richard leaned forward and rested his arms on his legs, looking at Jason seriously.  “There is plenty of room for my love and my son.  And nothing changes between Catalina and me.  She is still just a name and a title.  She feels much the same, given the dismissal I received earlier.  And Damian will sleep with Stephanie for the time being, I suppose.  At least until he can sleep through the nights on his own and doesn’t require feedings the moment he wakes.”

“You have thought about this?”

“I do not need to think about this.  I do not need to consider things when it comes to you,” Richard told him honestly.  Pushing to his feet, he closed the space between them and slipped right into the lap of the other man with practiced ease.  “You are like breathing.  You are natural.  I do not need to think about this because my place is by your side and yours is by mine.  To make a decision without you already considered in the outcome would be unnatural, abominable even.”  Taking Jason’s face in his hands, he searched the man’s sea green eyes for understanding.  “You could leave me tomorrow and I would still have no room for another lover in my heart.  You will always have the space by my side and the cavern in my heart.  The entire kingdom knows of my love for you despite me having married another.  And if either of us were less honorable, I would have had your hand instead of hers.  I do not know how I can make it clearer that my heart, my world, will always be yours.”

Jason shook his head and placed his own hands on Richard’s face, drawing him a hairsbreadth away.  “You don’t need to do anything else.  I know.  It is never you I doubt.  Never you.”

“Then what is it you doubt?  What can I do to ease it?”  Richard stared down into Jason’s eyes and waited, observed the other man observing him.

But instead of answering, Jason slipped one of his hands from Richard’s cheek to the back of his neck and pulled the older man the remainder of the way in for a kiss.  It wasn’t an answer, but at the same time it was all the answer that Richard needed.  Whatever brought the doubt to Jason’s mind wasn’t important.  Or at least it wasn’t more important than Richard.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

208 AD

GOTHAM CASTLE

There was peace in the air and though Jason enjoyed it, it also put him on edge.  Nothing good lasted forever, in his experience, and that meant they were due for some kind of event.  Be it in the family or the country, he knew something was coming.

“Who do you think will tire first?”  Jason looked up and shielded his eyes to see Richard’s brother, Timothy, standing near him.  The young prince was speaking to him, he had no doubt, but his eyes were on his older brother running around in the open field with his five-year-old son.  The child had been gifted his first sparring sword for his birthday two weeks prior and the pair had done nothing but spar in Richard’s spare time ever since.

“Damian, of that I have no doubt,” Jason retorted, chuckling as he lowered his eyes back to the pair that were circling each other now with their swords ready to strike or defend.

Timothy chuckled and dropped into the grass next to Jason.  “I do suppose my brother has an unnatural amount of energy for a man in his late twenties and an entire kingdom to run.”  And Jason knew that all too well.  Just the night before Richard had been up until the early hours of the morning, working on ironing out details for a treaty with another kingdom.  And not to mention helping in the preparation for Timothy’s upcoming handfasting ceremony.

“Where is the other groom today?”

“With his family, wandering the city streets.  There was mentions of wanting to support some of the local businesses.”  Jason glanced over at the other man and raised an eyebrow.  Timothy waved a hand and rolled his eyes.  “They’re searching for a gift for Richard.  King Clark was appalled that no one told him that the visiting king is supposed to gift the hosting king something for holding the ceremony in his kingdom.  I told him it was foolish, and that Richard is the last to care, but Father was there, and we all know how he can be.”

Jason snorted.  “Yes, we all know how he can be when it comes to tradition.”

Silence passed between them as they sat there and watched father and son continue to clash with the wooden swords in their hands, their laughter and the clack noise the wood made when their swords came into contact with one another the only noise save the birds and slight rustling of leaves.  It was comfortable and familiar; the pair having known each other for most of their lives.  It was the kind of silence that only came from being family.

But Jason knew there was a reason Timothy had chosen to sit with him, he just had to wait.

“Did he marry her for me?”  But that was not what he had been expecting the younger to ask.  With a furrowed brow Jason looked over at Timothy and waited for more.  “He could have stepped away from the crown.  He could have relinquished his claim to it so he could marry you.  Asked me to take the crown instead.  Did he do it so I could marry Kon?”

Pursing his lips, Jason looked back out to Richard just as he dropped to the ground and let Damian “win” by stabbing him in the leg with his dull sword.  “That might have been part of it, but mostly I think he married Catalina because he loves the people of Gotham.  And because he is honorable down to his very core.”

“And you?  Would you have allowed him to step down so you two could have your life together?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Because he would regret it.  Maybe not immediately and maybe not for years to come, but once I had fallen and he was alone, he would certainly regret it.”  Looking back at the young man sitting beside him, he considered him carefully.  “And your brother is the least selfish person any of us will ever have the pleasure of knowing.  Your happiness will always come before his own.”

Timothy sighed and shook his head as he gazed out at his brother and nephew.  “But what of your happiness?”

“We talked about our situation many times over the years,” Jason admitted.  “We both knew eventually he would need to marry someone who was not a Slayer and someone who could provide him with an heir.  Or at least attempt to do so.  We knew what was coming.”  It hadn’t made it any easier to watch the man he loved promise himself to another, especially not someone as cold as Catalina, but they had known.  “The night he told me that the time had come, he told your sister that he wanted you to get what your heart desired.  He knew she had her soon-to-be betrothed and that he would have his wife, but at least you could be with someone of your choosing.”

“I don’t know that I could ever be so selfless.”

“No one could.  Not even your father, I don’t think.  But Richard loves with every fiber of his being but it means there is no room for him to love himself in the same capacity.”  There was more to say, but Jason paused when Damian came running over as Richard chased with.

“Uncle Timothy!  Come fight with me!  Father is too foolish,” Damian reached out and tugged on Timothy’s hand, prompting the man to stand.  “You must come!  Tomorrow you marry and I won’t be able to fight you without Prince Kon stepping in to fight for your honor.”

“Dames!”  Richard laughed loudly despite the admonishment.  Jason laughed just as loudly, but Timothy chuckled and took the sword from Richard’s hand.  “No bruises!  Your uncle has to look perfect tomorrow.”

Damian responded with a hard tug on Timothy, pulling him out into the field where he and his father had just been sparring.

Dropping down in the spot that Timothy had previously occupied, Richard leaned sideways into Jason’s side.  “That child is too headstrong.  Are we certain you are not his sire?”  It was a frequent joke amongst the family and Jason took a bit of pride in the fact that even if Damian wasn’t his, he still had traits attributed to Jason.

“Oh no, My King, that is all Richard of House Wayne.  He is your child through and through.”  The point was punctuated with Damian helping Timothy back to his feet after having swept them out from under him.

“Perhaps, but there is no doubting your influence on him.”  Jason looked over to Richard and found the other man smiling softly at him.  It was a look that Jason had seen many times over the years, but one he would never tire of seeing aimed at him.  The open adoration and fondness on Richard’s face was one he only showed a small handful of people.  Jason and Damian being at the top of that list.  “What were you and Timothy discussing before Dami interrupted?  Anything important?”

Jason waved a hand, “Important but not urgent.”  It was as close to the truth that Jason was willing to get.  No reason to get Richard concerned.  “He was also telling me that King Clark is in the village in search of a gift.”

“Oh goodness,” Richard laughed, leaning back onto the tree behind them.  “I’m sure that is Father’s doing?”  Jason nodded and smiled at the laughter that fell from the other man’s life.  “Honestly, what a foolish tradition to uphold.  But I’m sure the shop he spends his money in will surely appreciate it.  Perhaps I can find a worthy person to take whatever it is he gives me.”

Jason kept his eyes on Richard and felt his chest warm as the other man spoke.  So selfless, just as he was saying to the younger Wayne, that he would take an unwanted gift just because someone’s business benefited from its purchase.  Most people knew of the King’s heart, it was a favorite subject of the songs sung about him, but Jason often wondered if they really knew how deep that love went.  He had never met another person who loved other as much as Richard did.  Not even a mother and her kids.  There were limits to how much they could give, but Richard seemed to have his love in endless amounts. 

And Gotham was all the richer for it.

“What?”  Richard’s voice snapped Jason out of his thoughts, and he found the older man looking at him curiously.  “Is there some dirt on my face?  I told Damian throwing dirt was fighting dirty, literally and figuratively.”

Reaching out to brush a streak of dirt from the other man’s cheek, Jason just smiled when Richard laughed again.  He opened his mouth to say something, but snapped it shut again when he saw movement just beyond the field.  His eyes shifted to see who was coming their way and Jason felt his smile fade away at the sight of the Queen.

“What…?”  Richard questioned, noticing the shift in Jason’s demeanor.  But Jason saw him glance over his own shoulder and knew when his body went tense that he saw who had caught Jason’s eye.  “My Lady,” Richard greeted, stiff but not unkind.

“I have come to collect our son for his lessons.  That is quite enough foolishness for the day,” the woman commented, coming to a stop near Jason and Richard’s spot under the tree and folding her arms over her chest.  It was a challenge and Jason knew Richard would tell her to back down if he felt she was out of line, but he also took Damian’s learning seriously.

So, he wasn’t surprised when Richard pushed to his feet and brushed himself free of the dirt.  “Of course, his lessons are important.  But do not forget that as his father and King, I am more than capable of deciding which lessons take precedence at the moment.”  And Jason so desperately wanted to smirk at the scowl that now covered the woman’s face.  It was no secret she was becoming increasingly hostile toward Richard (and Jason), sometimes taking that hostility out on Damian.  The entire staff and family were aware of the arguments Richard had had with her in his study or her rooms, berating her for treating anyone other than himself poorly.  He always told her she was welcome to be that way with him because he could not give her the relationship she wanted, but he wouldn’t stand for her treating others that way.

She always acted remorseful after, but Jason was never fooled.

“Damian, my son,” Richard called to the boy, moving into the field to retrieved him.  Jason kept his eyes on Catalina as she turned her golden eyes onto him, distain clearly written all over her posture.  And while he wanted to return the look, he instead kept his face neutral and his posture relaxed. 

“Hello Mother,” the boy called as he walked up to the woman.  Jason hated to formal tone his voice took while speaking with the woman.  “Father says it is time for my lessons.  Is it to be History or Mathematics today?”

Catalina’s eyes went from Jason and turned to Damian, the distain melting to indifference.  Something a mother should never feel for her child, but not surprising in this case.  The woman had been indifferent from day one and Richard had been right to worry about it, considering it hadn’t changed at all.  But instead of dwelling on it, he did what Jason had always known he would.  He threw his entire being into raising the child to be just as good and open as he was.

“History for now.  Your tutor shall decide if you can handle anything else this afternoon.  Now come,” the woman turned and walked away briskly, Damian following quickly but not without throwing a wave over his shoulder to the three men who remained behind.

“My King!”  A servant called from the direction of the stables and Jason frowned as he watched Richard slip into his role of king before heading over to the man who had called for him.

“I do not know about you, but I am ready for afternoon tea.  Would you like to come?  I believe King Clark and Kon will probably be returning any moment now.”  Jason considered Timothy’s offer while he watched Richard speak with the stable boy for a moment before he glanced over and sent Jason and Timothy an apologetic look. 

Standing up as Richard followed the servant to the stables for whatever reason, Jason looked over at the younger man.  “Tea sounds good.  Perhaps we can persuade Alfred to give us some of the wedding cookies he has been preparing.”  Timothy chuckled as the pair of them headed back to the castle.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

216 AD

CRIME ALLEY

LEVEL 3 GOTHAM CITY

Handing over a few gold pieces, Jason accepted the wrapped package and thanked the woman before turning and continuing his trip down the street.  Once a week he walked the levels of Gotham, when he was in the area at least, to be sure none of the people were in dire need of anything.  If he noticed something off that he could handle himself, he would.  If it required more than he could provide, then he took the matter to Richard and the King did as he always did: he provided for his people. 

He was currently on his final walk and was glad to say he would not need to be setting anything at the feet of the king later that evening when they retired.  Outside of a few small stalls needing some business, which he had happily provided, the city seemed to be flourishing.

“Hello Ser Jason!”  A few kids called as they scrambled past, chasing a ball that he had fashioned for them a few months prior.

“Careful, you hellions!”  A vicious voice called out before Jason could call back his greeting and it was one he was surprised to hear this far from the castle.  Turning to look in the direction the voice had come from, Jason spotted the rich orange cloak the Queen had chosen to wear.  He wondered if she was trying to be subtle and just failing miserably or if she was here for reasons that didn’t require her to hide.

“My Queen,” Jason greeted when the woman came to a stop before him.  While the villagers all gave a bow and called her ‘Your Majesty’ as was proper, Jason had never been required to address the pretender as anything in particular.  “What is it that finds you in Crime Alley?”

“You,” she said, her face shifting to hide her emotions as best as she could.  And though the villagers would not notice anything, Jason was well versed in the woman before him.  He knew how she functioned and who she really was.  After all these years, how could he not?

Glancing around, Jason found some people openly gawking at the Queen but most had gone back to their business.

“Shall we discuss this here or…?”

“Of course not,” she snapped and Jason only raised a brow.  “Some place private.”  He was not liking the direction this conversation was taking, but he said nothing and simply walked away.  Either she would follow or she wouldn’t and he could get on with his scouting.  But a glance over his shoulder showed she was right behind him, so he cut into the first quiet alley he found and turned to face her.

“What can I do for you?”

“That is how you address your Queen around the commoners?”

Jason laughed and crossed his arms over his broad chest.  “You are not my queen, Catalina.  You are a place holder and nothing more.  You knew it long before you traveled from your dusty hell hole of a country to Gotham.  You are powerless here.”  Catalina snarled at him and took a step forward but Jason didn’t back away.  He did glance over her shoulder to be sure no one was watching them.  “Now,” he said, tone pleasant, “what can I do for you?”

“I want you to leave Gotham.  I want you to ride out tomorrow and hunt the dragons beyond the kingdom.”  Jason frowned and wondered how she knew about the pod near Ethiopia.  And why she wanted him to go.  They were further out than he usually bothered so he had held off on the journey when word had come.

“Why would I do what you’re asking?”

“Because I can play a very dangerous game with the heart of the man you love,” she smirked.  He narrowed his eyes.  “You know he visits my bed once a year to appease the council.”  And Jason did know that.  He remembered just weeks ago when he had joined Richard in a bath after he had returned and did everything he could to get the other man to forget the act he hated so much.  “I have not bled as I should have the last week.”  Jason felt his heart stutter.  Another child.  Another person to love.  But he was caught off guard by the vial she produced.  The liquid was cloudy and greenish, all together unappealing.  “This will steal the life within me.  It will extinguish the child before they even have a chance.”

“You witch,” Jason growled, taking a step toward her.  But he paused when she uncapped the vial and lifted it to her lips.  “You would destroy your husband and son just to best me?  What good would me leaving when I would just return.”

The smile that curled her lips told him enough.

“Because you won’t be returning.  You will fall and he will build you a pyre for your return.” 

“How could you possibly know that?  How could you possibly think I would agree to break his heart like that?”  But wouldn’t the other do the same?  Richard loved Damian so much and the prospect of having another child would thrill him.  The loss of that child before they even got a chance to live would break his heart and Jason isn’t sure even he would be able to fix that.

“I have my ways.  But the choice is yours, Dragon Slayer.  Either you or the child.”  He took a step back and watched as she put the cap back on the vial and placed it back into the folds of her cloak.  “I have had enough of your presence poisoning my husband against me.  He will be mine and Damian will love me over you.  Your death will ensure that.”

He didn’t bother telling her that it wouldn’t work.  That her plan would fail her and neither of them would love her the way she wanted.  But he knew what he needed to do.

“I will go.”  It was sooner than he had planned, but he had always known Richard would be the one to bury him.  It was just a fact of the life of a Slayer. 

“You will act as if nothing is different.  You will not warn him, and you will not treat this voyage any differently than all your previous ones,” she instructed, and Jason nodded, shoulders dropping slightly in resignation.  She stood tall, radiating victory. 

He hated her more in that moment than he ever had.

And as he watched her walk away, he swore to whatever god was listening that he would do anything if it meant she would not get away with this act.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

216 AD

GOTHAM CASTLE STEPS

It was a sight Richard didn’t think he would ever get used to, honestly.  The gold of Jason’s armor and the crimson of his cloaks were always so stunning.  And it suited the man just perfectly.  So many of the previous slayers had worn the house colors of the King of the time, but since the Wayne line had taken the crown the slayers had worn what they pleased.  A small handful had worn the blue and black of the family, but most had gone with what they had deemed best. 

“My King,” Jason bowed deeply with a smirk on his face as Richard finally made his way down the steps with Damian trailing behind him.  “My Prince,” he greeted the younger man much more softly.  It made Richard’s heart clench.

“I received word that you are to ride.”

Jason hummed and straightened.  “There have been sightings coming through of a pod of three out near the Ethiopia boarders.”

“That is a far ride,” Damian spoke up, moving to stand next to Jason as Richard moved to run a hand along the nose of Jason’s most precious mare.  Hood greeted him with a familiar snort and nudge to his side, questioning if Richard had treats for him.  Instead of responding, he just rubbed his neck.

“It is, but I would rather them not get closer to our lands.  Not whilst we approach the dry season.”  Richard understood his reasoning, but he didn’t like it.  Since the messenger had come and told him Jason would be riding out, there had been something heavy in the pit of his stomach.  A feeling that was getting worse by the moment.

“You go alone?”

“I do, for now,” Jason answered him.  Richard considered the answer with a narrowing of his eyes, causing Jason to laugh.  “I have allies within the lands and can call upon them if the need arises.”  That was all the comfort that the slayer would give the king, Richard knew that.  If Jason were staying within their lands, he would have his choice of soldiers to aide him.  But outside of their borders, it could be considered aggressive to have members of another king’s army ride through.

“Will you bring the scale like you promised?” 

Reaching forward, Jason ruffled Damian’s hair and laughed.  “I shall do my very best.”  The young man let out an excited noise before he smiled at his father and headed back up the stairs to continue his studies for the day.  “My King.”

“I know you don’t wish to risk them coming closer, but must you go when they are already so far away?”  It was a selfish request, and he had no right to ask it of Jason.  And more than that, Richard knew Jason would deny him the silent request he was making.  “Can you not wait for them to come closer?”

“You know that I cannot.”

Dropping his gaze and sighing, Richard nodded.  “I know you cannot.”  But it wouldn’t stop him from wishing he could.  Because the feeling in his core was getting worse and Richard knew he was moments away from ordering Jason to stay and that would only cause strife between them.  He had promised the other man that he would never stand in the way of his work so long as he was king.  His father had been too controlling when he had been king, Richard refused to be.

“I will return, Richard.  I always do,” Jason spoke softly, and Richard felt him slip closer.  In the courtyard they were exposed and not away from prying eyes.  But they were also among people who were well aware of what the two men were to each other.  And no one, not even a citizen of the city, would try to tell a king who he could love.

So Richard reached out and wrapped his arms around the hard armor and rich material of the cloaks, burying his face in the crook of Jason’s neck.  “I know you always do.  But it will never be easy to say our goodbyes and watch you ride off to certain danger,” he muttered into the skin of Jason’s throat.  Jason’s only response was to wrap his own arms around the older man and hold on just as tightly.  “I love you,” he said after a moment.  “I love you and I shall be here when you return.”

“And I love you, My King.”  Stepping back, Richard gave his best attempt at a smile and watched Jason mount his horse with practiced ease.  “I shall return before you even have the chance to miss me.  Mark my words.”

Instead of replying, Richard simply held his fist to his heart and gave a bow.  A motion usually reserved for servant to king, but to the man getting ready to ride off to keep their kingdom safe, Richard had never been just a king.  And to Richard the man riding away was so much more than a dragon slayer.

He was everything.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

217 AD

GOTHAM KINGDOM SEPT

LEVEL 2 DIAMOND DISTRICT

Richard could hear the footsteps behind him, but he couldn’t bring himself to look up with from the body lying in the middle of the holy temple.  He couldn’t bring himself to do much of anything since word had come in that Jason had fallen in battle and was coming home to be buried. 

“Father,” a soft voice called from just behind him.  Turning, Richard looked at Damian briefly before he turned back to Jason.  The rich red of the shroud they had dressed him in for the pyre was the late slayer’s color of choice and it suited him well, even in death.  “Father, I am so sorry.”

And though he adored his son more than anything in the world, Richard could not find it in him to say anything in response.  Instead, he held out his hand and waited for the young man to take it.  It was a comfort to have him there.  Even if part of him wanted to send his son away so he didn’t have to witness his father’s moment of weakness.  But Jason had loved Damian and Richard knew Damian had loved Jason.

“Do you think he knew I thought of him as another father?”  Looking down at the boy abruptly, Richard felt his brows pinch in the middle.  He hadn’t known his son had felt so strongly for the man he had loved for so long.  Yes, obviously there was love but paternal love?  But then Jason and Damian had had a different relationship to the one he shared with his son.  One that had been a bit more candid at times, so he supposed it was possible Jason knew how Damian had felt.  Jason had certainly felt that way.  “You love him so I, too, love him.  He always had words of wisdom and tales of his travels.  I will cherish those.”

Dry eyes blurred with tears at his son’s words and Richard had to clench his jaw so not to sob.  Once he was sure he could speak, he took a deep breath and released it slowly.  “He felt the same for you.  He…”  Swallowing hard, Richard looked back to Jason and reached forward with his free hand to take Jason’s cold one.  “I do not know that I will recover from this loss.  I feel as though the world has been stripped of all its color, all its joy.”

Though Richard knew he would go on because what choice did he have?  He had a kingdom he to run and he had to care for a son who was barely thirteen years of age who depended on him since his mother was hardly a mother at all.  No.  He would press on because it was required of him and it was what Jason would have wanted him to do.

“Your Majesty,” the call of one of the guards stationed near the door called out, drawing Richard’s attention.  “Your father is on his way.  His manservant thought you would like the warning.”  Nodding his head, Richard took the moments he had to gather and compose himself.  He saw Damian frowning at him, but a small smile from Richard settled the boy for the moment.

“Would you like me to leave?”

“No, my son.  I feel I would be much better should you be willing to remain at my side.”  Damian gave Richard a nod and the elder man sighed in relief, squeezing the hand he held tightly in his own.  “Father,” he greeted weakly when the doors opened, and former king appeared.  The man wasted no time in taking the steps that led him down to the center of the temple where his son and grandson stood.

“Richard, I am so sorry,” was all that was spoken before he found himself wrapped up in the arms of his father.  And then, in that moment with his father holding him and his son clutching his hand, Richard allowed himself to cave to the tears that had been threatening him since the word of Jason’s demise had come in the early hours of the morning.

In that moment, he allowed himself to fist his father’s cloak and stain the material at his shoulder with his silent tears.  He allowed himself to be weak.  To take the comfort being offered to him.  Because in that room he wasn’t a King.  He was just a boy who had lost someone he loved more than his own life and didn’t know how he was going to recover.

He could feel Damian’s other hand clenching the material of his tunic and Richard tried to focus on that.  He tried to pull himself back in, gather his emotions and lock them away again.  There was much to do, and he knew he could not hide within these walls indefinitely.  There was a ceremony that he had to be a part of in just a matter of hours and he was expected to give a speech.  But how could they expect him to stand tall and speak of the man they all saw as brave and he saw as the entire world?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

217 AD

GOTHAM CITY CENTER

“It is no secret that House Wayne has always held the highest respect for those of the Dragon Slayer occupation, but Ser Jason always held a special place in our lives due to the fact that he was the last remaining slayer.  The last of his line and the last of a profession of bravery and strength.”  Richard sat tall in his chair as his father stood before the kingdom who had come to witness the pyre of Jason.  He held his head high and back straight, hiding the pain in his heart as best he could.  He tried to draw strength from his son standing on one side of him while ignoring his wife on the other.  The woman had worn the customary black gown of mourning and placed a veil over her face, but Richard was not fooled.  She was not mourning Jason’s death. 

He couldn’t say why, but she had almost seemed unsurprised when he had informed her of Jason’s death.  And that worried him.  But he didn’t have time to focus on that.  He had to remain strong for the others in the kingdom.

He did, however, wonder if he should even bother.  It wasn’t as if most of the land didn’t know that the late slayer and their current king had been in love with one another.  Even after his marriage to the Queen, villagers constantly spoke of Jason to him when he walked the lower streets to listen to the people.  Catalina had rebuked them when she had come with Richard and he had never allowed her to join him again.

They had known of his love and had to know he was in pain.

But would they draw comfort in the sight of their king suffering?  Or would they see his weakness and think poorly of him?

��We will honor Ser Jason Todd with the Feast of Seven Days as we do for members of the royal family because he is one of ours.  The doors to the palace and sept will be open to each and every citizen of Gotham to pay their respects and to join us in our grief.”

The murmurs of surprise amongst the crowd didn’t surprise Richard in the least.  When Damian had suggested the celebration extending to the Slayer, Richard had immediately agreed.  The rest of the council had mentioned the people would probably appreciate the gesture but would likely be surprised.  Never had the Feast of Seven been held for anyone other than that of Royal blood or marriage.

With a glance from his father, Richard stood to his feet and moved forward to accept the burning torch from Roy, one of the guards who had been close to Jason.  The two men stared at each other for a moment before Roy bowed his head and Richard took a deep breath, stepping forward to the pyre that Jason’s shroud covered body laid upon.

He raised the torch.  “To the last of the Dragon Slayers, to the greatest of the line, to the fallen soldier, and to the man behind the sword.  The world is a colder, darker place without the splash of crimson from your cloaks and your sea colored eyes.  May those of us who have been left behind honor your legacy and never forget your bravery.  May we never forget your strength and your character.  May we never forget your love and kindness to those who surrounded you.”  There were cheers and some clapping in agreement from the citizens who had gathered, and it made Richard’s throat tighten.  Too many people who had loved the man he had been in love with.  Too many souls left without him keeping an eye on them anymore.  But Richard had already promised protection to those who Jason had always protected.

Tipping the torch forward, he let the fire catch on the kindling that had been laid out.  Turning to his right, Richard was surprised to find Damian waiting to take the torch to light another patch but handed it over with minimal hesitation.  He watched his son do the part he had expected his father to do, as tradition usually dictated.  Kings and former kings to honor the fallen.

“He asked if he could,” the deep rumble of his father’s voice sounded to his left after he had stepped back from the pyre.  “I felt a break in tradition was acceptable in this instance.”

Richard nodded and turned his eyes from the sight of his son’s face, glowing in the fire light, and looked to the body slowly being consumed by the same fire.  With a shaky hand, he placed his fist over his heart and bowed one final goodbye to the man he had spent most of his life loving.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

217 AD

GOTHAM CASTLE

“Your Majesty?”  Richard looked up from the scrolls he had been going over and found one of his most favored guards standing in his doorway.  Waving the man in, he quickly signed his name at the bottom of the page and rolled it up, sealing it carefully and placing it with the previously completely ones.  His work had become back logged due to the days of feasting for Jason and his focus being on the people of Gotham during the time.  But the seven days were over, and his duties could not be put off any longer.

“Yes, Victor?”

“There is a crone here to see you.”  Richard frowned at that, wondering why a crone would want to see him.  “She said she has some information about our late Dragon Slayer and that she would only speak with you.”

Pushing to his feet, he pressed his hands to the top of his desk and leaned heavily on them.  “Send her in and remain close.”  Victor nodded and walked back out of the room before returning with a weathered woman who looked old enough to have birthed Richard, but not to have earned the title of crone. 

“My King,” the woman gave a bow, her voice speaking more of age than her physical appearance.  “I am Madame Xanadu.”

“The healer from the lower levels.  The servants speak of you fondly.  They tell me you have great power.”  The woman made no move to confirm or deny the claim and Richard found that curious.  Those with power usually wanted others to know it.  It was a rare thing for someone to simply let others form their judgments.  “What can I do for you, Madame?”

“There has been a betrayal in your House, and I want to make you aware of it.  I cannot keep silent on the matter and I have done what I can to help for future’s sake, but what has happened cannot be undone.”  Furrowing his brows, he sat back down in the chair he had previously been in and waved to the one opposite him for Xanadu to sit as well.

“Who is the betrayer and what did they do?”

“The woman who calls herself Queen and mother of your son.”  The blood in his veins froze.  He didn’t know whether or not to believe this woman, but the idea of Catalina betraying him was not one that he would struggle with.  “She came to me two years prior and asked me to help her with a problem.  She weaved a story of a husband so in love with a man he couldn’t have that he was failing as a husband.  She told me of how this husband had stolen her child’s affections from her and given them to his lover.”  Xanadu paused and Richard forced himself to hold her gaze.  She wasn’t far off from the truth, but he could see how his actions could be viewed as heartless.

“Did she tell you who she was?”

“No, but she did not need to.  Her aura is incredibly unique.”

“And what did she ask of you?”  With that, Xanadu remained silent and considered him.  “What?”

“You do not try to defend yourself.  It is curious.”

“Is it?  Though not fully accurate in her description, she is also not entirely wrong.  I did love a man that I was unable to be with for crown and duty.  She was made aware of this long before I accepted the contract that would bind her to me.  And that man did love her son and her son loved that man, because he was present and because I loved him.”

“It is a good thing for a king and a man to admit that he is not perfect.  The people love you very much for that attribute.”  Richard nodded.  It had been a fault of his father’s, unable to admit when he was in the wrong.  But he had never struggled to accept his wrongs and make amends.  “She wanted your lover out of the way.  She wanted to be sure neither of you would find happiness with the other.  Now and in all future lives.  But she also wanted to be sure that you would always be close enough to hurt over that fact.”

So, she was to be cruel.  That surprised Richard.  Catalina had never been particularly kind, but she had never shown cruelty as a personality trait.  “And your response?”

“I will tell you what I told her word for word.  But I want to know I will not be punished for my actions.  And I have something for you to help ease the future.”  Considering the words, Richard leaned back in the chair.  Did he trust this woman to promise that?  Was she just as at fault as Catalina at this point?  But did it matter?  Jason had fallen at the hand of a dragon and Richard could not blame them for that.  It was always meant to be his fate.

“You have my word on my honor as King of Gotham.”  Xanadu nodded once and placed a small vial on the desk.

Richard watched her slightly weathered hand wave between them and then a voice filled the room without her opening her mouth.  “I will do this thing you ask of me.  I will lay the curse to keep their souls tethered to one another, but never to belong to the other.  But as I feel for you in your darkened marriage bed, I feel for the love they are unable to proclaim due to duty and country.  So, heed this: should one fall before the age of eight and ten, the curse shall lift, and they shall be reunited to share the life you have denied them.”

Closing his eyes, he tried to hold at bay the pain the truth filled him with.

“You have many lifetimes of pain ahead of you, my King,” Xanadu’s voice pulled him out of his head and pain.  “I am sorry for my part in this.  I cannot take back the curse now that it has taken hold of you both.  But this vial will promise you that Catalina will only have a presence in your life once the curse has come to an end.  It is a small comfort that I can offer you.”

He stared at the vial for a moment before reaching forward and taking it into his hand.  Such a small thing with such big promises.  “Thank you for this small comfort.”

“It is far less than I wish I could give.  You are destined to be a great leader in each life you live and your Slayer will be a great protector in each of his,” she told him, and Richard closed his eyes.  He knew his Jason could be nothing but a protector.  His very soul was created to look after those who could not look after themselves.  He was just too good deep in his heart.  “Might I give a piece of advice though, My King?”

Blinking open his eyes, he gave a nod of his head for her to continue.

“Put your Queen on trial.  I will testify before the council if I must, but you do not want your son to be influenced by her darkness.  He has great potential, but evil women will poison his mind if you do not intervene.”

“Women?” 

“Hmm?”

“You said ‘women’, not woman.  Is there another I should be cautious of?”  The woman frowned at him and Richard could see the considering look in her eyes.

“Not in this lifetime.  But you will get to him in time in the other.”  He wanted to know more.  He wanted details so he could be prepared, but he knew she wouldn’t give them.  And he knew there was a good chance he wouldn’t remember the information any way.  He didn’t believe people took their memories of previous life with them past the grave.  “I must take my leave.  But you can find me in my shop should you need me to speak to the council.”

Pushing to his feet, Richard rounded the desk and walked with her to the door.  “Thank you for coming forward with this information.  I will come for you if I require your words,” he said as he pulled open the door for her.  The elderly woman looked up at him and gave him a sad smile.

“Your time with him shall come.  It may seem as if it will never come, but I promise it will.  I will leave you with that comfort.”  Unable to say anything in return, he simply bowed his head in respect, and she gave a soft laugh of surprise before bustling out of the room. 

Lifting his head, Richard looked directly at Victor who gave him a nod confirming the question unspoken.  He had heard every word.

“Send for my father and prepare the calling cards for the council.”  Victor pressed a fist over his heart and gave a nod before turning to walk briskly down the hallway. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

217 AD

GOTHAM CITY CENTER

“Her former Majesty Queen Catalina is hereby sentenced to death for conspiring to murder the great Dragon Slayer Ser Jason Todd,” the head guard read off the scroll in his hands.  Richard stood there, chin held high and back straight, listening to the murmurs of the crowd below as the rumors were confirmed.  It was one of the few days where the crown he wore on his head felt heavy.  For so many years he had enjoyed his duties and he had managed to go through most of his rule thus far without sentencing anyone to death.  But the council would not let this betrayal stand.  Though his father, Head of the Council, and himself had said the dungeons would be enough, the rest of the state heads had demanded her head.  Quite literally. 

Jason had been loved almost as much as Richard himself.  He had been important to their traditions and had protected the kingdom since he was young.  He had been the last of the Slayers and the people deserved to see his legacy protected by putting his murderer, however indirectly, to death.  Richard knew they were right, but he still felt wrong for it. 

This was his son’s mother.

He could feel Damian behind him, hand clenching the deep blue of his father’s tunic, and Richard’s heart went out to the boy.  He couldn’t imagine having to hear his mother would be executed. 

With a deep breath, Richard stepped forward and looked at the woman who had been his wife for near 15 years now.  “Do you have anything to say for yourself, Catalina of House Flores?”  The sneer at the lack of title was not surprising to Richard but she had been stripped of her titles the instant the courts had found her guilty of her part in the death of Jason.  Richard felt no pity.

“I don’t regret it for a single moment.  I look forward to witnessing your lifetimes of pain,” she spat out, standing tall with her hands bound behind her back. 

Without responding to her or the gasps amongst the crowd, Richard looked to his guard and nodded.  The man looked furious as he turned at the woman who had been his queen.  Stepping back, Richard held his hand behind him so Damian could cling to it as they watched the woman who had such an important role in both of their lives be moved to the chopping block. 

“You can leave, my son.  You do not need to watch,” Richard said softly, glancing down at Damian.  But the young man shook his head and looked at his father with wide eyes.

“I must watch justice be delivered.  I must stand by your side.”  And though he wanted to argue that a young man of his age did not need to see such violence, there were younger in the city who had seen worse.  And he himself had seen his first execution much younger.  Despite the facts, Richard wished he could spare his son from seeing such cruelties.  Even if he was to be king one day.

Glancing over to the other side of Damian, Richard found his father watching him as he stood with Selina, Timothy, and Cassandra, frown deep on his features.  When their eyes connected, he could see the sympathy in the older man’s eyes.

“Out of respect for our King and Prince, we behead you for your crimes against crown and country.  There is honor in your punishment, but do not be fooled, there is no peace for those who take the innocent from our world,” the executioner said, unsheathing his sword as the guards pushed Catalina to a kneeling position at the chopping block.  The man was right.  Beheading was usually reserved for those who deserved an honorable death, the former queen did not. 

“I shall see you in the next lifetime, my love,” she managed to call out just as the sword was raised and fell in a precise arch, slicing through flesh and bone.  There were cheers from the crowd and when Richard looked out at it, he found Madame Xanadu considering him with her all-knowing eyes.  And he was reminded of the promise and the vial she had given him, the one he had consumed the very same day she had given it to him.  He wasn’t going to chance that he took it too late and it would no longer work.

With a smile and a bow of her head, she vanished into the crowd and Richard’s focus was pulled back to his duties as father and King.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

PRESENT DAY

GOTHAM CITY

Dick snapped to the present almost violently to the point where he came to and immediately pulled himself onto his hands and knees to empty the contents of his stomach.  He briefly registered Jason groaning next to him before he felt hands gripping his shoulders as he continued to heave.

He couldn’t pinpoint what it was that was affecting him so much.  Was it the fact that he and Jason shared so much history with one another?  Or was it that she had done more damage than just what he could remember from the current life? 

Or maybe it was Damian.

The mere thought of it brought tears to his eyes.  The son he had bore with someone who had ruined every chance of real happiness in his life.  Or lives, however you wanted to look at it.  The boy that should have been his in each and every lifetime but wasn’t in this one.

“Dick?  Dick, come on answer me,” Jason’s frantic voice finally broke through his haze.  And that’s when he realized he wasn’t just puking his guts out, he was gasping for breath with tears streaming down his face. 

But Jason couldn’t see the tears, not with the way his head was bowed at the moment.

“Yeah, I’m okay,” he gasped out, trying and failing to take a deep breath.  He felt Jason’s hands squeeze his arms as the man helped Dick fall back to a seated position.

“That was not quite the reaction I was expecting from either of you at the revelation.”

Dick flinched at the sound of the entity that had sent them back in the first place and he felt Jason do the same.  Reaching up, Dick wiped the back of his hand over his mouth and scrubbed his face with his hands before looking over at Jason.  The younger man didn’t look any better than Dick felt.

“What the fuck was all of that?”

“A glimpse of what was.  Only some of what was.  You two have fate threads so intricately entwined that I can barely see where one starts and the other ends.  But they always end on separate paths.” Fate came to a stop a few feet from the pair on the floor and Dick felt Jason pulling him up to his feet despite Dick not really being in any state to stand just yet.  “It was a cruelty serviced to you those years ago.  But the veil has been lifted and now you may finally find each other.”

“Why…”  Dick gasped out, coughing taking his breath for a moment before he straightened himself up again.  “Why would you interfere like this?”  He tried again once he could breathe.

“I told you, I was feeling generous.”

“Bullshit.”

“Mind your tongue.  I have the power to strip the memories from you so that you continue this legacy of near misses.”  Fate looked at Jason, anger burning in their eyes at the disrespect.

“But why were you feeling generous?”

“I was gifted these sacrifices and yet you eliminated those who did it.  Someone had to take it.”  Dick rubbed at his forehead and sighed.  It made as much sense as it was going to.  Magic and gods and whatnot never made sense to him.  He’d have Zatanna explain it to him later.  “But now I must go.  You have company coming and I would rather not be trapped in that battle.” 

Before either of them knew what was happening, the entity was gone, and Dick felt like his breath had been knocked out of his chest.

“I got you,” Jason whispered, arms wrapped around him and backing him up away from the spot he had emptied his stomach out at.  Before he knew it, Jason was helping him settle on a nearby crate.

He had just knelt in front of Dick when the doors to the area were kicked open and Batman, Red Robin and Robin were storming into the room.  But neither Dick nor Jason looked over at the three, they just looked at each other as the truth of what they saw settled between them.

“Nightwing.”  No response.  “Hood.”  Batman’s growl was getting annoyed but neither man looked his way.  It was enough for Damian to push past the other two men and go straight to his brothers’ sides.

“What happened?”  He demanded, trying to get a look at Dick, but Jason held his ground and unlatched his helmet.  “What is going on?  We couldn’t get in the room for almost thirty minutes and neither of you were responding on the comms.”

“Thirty minutes?”  Dick looked at Damian with a frown before looking back to Jason.  “Felt longer,” he said softly.

“Like a couple of lifetimes,” Jason added with a snort.

“That’s enough.  What happened?”  Dick looked at Bruce and frowned, shaking his head.

“Let’s get back to the cave, we’ll give you a rundown there.  ‘Wing could probably use some fluids.”  Dick gave Jason an annoyed look and the other man just raised an eyebrow as if daring him to fight him.  Sighing, Dick nodded and let Jason and Damian help him to his feet.

“Destroy the alter.  It’s worthless as is, but don’t tempt anyone who might come across it,” Dick told Bruce and Tim.  He saw Bruce look at Tim and the younger nod before he set to work at destroying the thing.

“The car is outside; Red Robin and I will bring your bikes back for you.”  It was a testament for how uprooted he and Jason both felt that neither of them argued the order. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jason paced in front of the gurney as Alfred hooked Dick up to the IV line that older man had agreed would probably be a good idea.  His mind was scattered, and he was desperately trying to get it back in line before Bruce came back.  There would need to be explanations, but he and Dick needed to talk first.

“Thanks Alfred,” Dick said, leaning back into the pillows as he watched Alfred work.  Jason could see his gaze bouncing from Jason then back to Alfred, but he didn’t say anything to the younger man, so Jason kept his focus on figuring his shit out.

“Of course, Master Richard.”  Jason looked over at Alfred and saw the man already watching him.  “I feel as though you two need to speak so I will take my leave and make sure Master Damian does not bother you.”

“Thanks, Alf.”  Alfred simply nodded at Jason as he walked out of the room, shutting the door to the med bay behind him.  Looking back to Dick, Jason stopped at the foot of the bed and sighed.  “There’s a lot we need to talk about.”  Dick hummed and gave Jason a half smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes and Jason wasn’t sure how to take that.  “But right now we need to decide what we’re going to tell Bruce.”

“We’ll give him an abridged version.  Just tell him about the curse the she put on us and that we had a trip down memory lane.  It might be his past too, but he doesn’t need to know the details of it all.”  It was clinical and detached.  Jason could tell Dick was trying not to feel the emotion of it all and he honestly couldn’t blame him.  But it did worry him a little.

“Do you want to stay here tonight?”

“No, fuck no.  I don’t care if he tries to shackle me down, we are not staying here.  I can’t.”  That made Jason raise a brow.

“Is that something he’s done in the past?”  Dick let out a laugh and let his head fall back into the pillows as his eyes slid shut.

“He’s threatened.”

“Well damn.”  Jason wasn’t sure how he felt about that. 

“We can stay at my place unless you’d rather one of yours?”  That surprised Jason a bit.  He knew that he and Dick would be in for a long talk, but he figured the other man would want some space to figure things out before they did.  “Why do you look so surprised?”  Jason blinked, a little shook that he hadn’t noticed Dick was looking at him again.

“I just…”  How did he word this without making an ass of himself?

“You thought I wouldn’t want you there?”

“No, I just thought you’d need some space.”  He watched Dick shake his head before holding out the hand that didn’t have the IV hooked into it.

“This is an us thing, we do it together.”  And the relief Jason felt at that was more than enough.  So, he took Dick’s hand and finally dropped into the chair next to Dick’s bed.

“We can go back to yours.  Roy’s at the only one of mine that is stocked for living currently.”  And while Jason could have easily kicked Roy out, he knew his best friend was trying to hide out.

“Doesn’t Roy have a house…?” 

“You know he does.  He told me you were there to hang out last week,” Jason snorted.  “He’s avoiding Artemis for some undisclosed reason so he and Lian are hiding.”

“That must be why she called me earlier today.  I haven’t listened to the message yet.”  Jason shrugged and looked down at their clasped hands.  “Hey Jay?”  Shifting his eyes to look back to Dick, Jason raised his eyebrows in question.  “This is okay, yeah?  We’re good?”

“Yeah, Dickie.  We’re good.  We’ll get it sorted.”  And that included whatever the hell it was that kept bringing those lines of sadness around Dick’s eyes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Are you going to tell me what else is bothering you?”  Jason’s voice was soft in the darkness of Dick’s room and it made Dick’s heart ache more than it already did.

“More than all these lifetimes of happiness that were stripped from us because of one jealous woman?”

“Yes.”

Dick sighed and closed his eyes, though in the darkness it didn’t really matter.  He opened them as soon as the image of him holding an infant flashed through his mind.  The image that he couldn’t get out of his head any more than he could get Jason’s cold body ready for the pyre.  Or the bloody mess of a man he held as he took his last shuddering breaths.  Or the letter he had received from the British Army in their most recent past life.  Flashes and lives that were slowly piecing themselves back together the longer time passed from Fate opening the floodgates.

But no, he knew that wasn’t what Jason was referring to and it would be disrespectful to what they were to lie about it now.

“He was mine, Jay.  He was mine and not only did she take you, but she took him.”

“Damian.”

“I knew it the instant I met him that something wasn’t right and now I know and I don’t know if I can face him or B until I get my head back to where it’s supposed to be.”  Dick could see Jason turning his head to look at him as he stared at the ceiling.  It was a short moment later when Dick felt Jason’s hand slip into his own.  Turning to look at Jason’s face only lit by the moonlight flooding in the room from his open windows, Dick shifted onto his side to fully face him.  “And because I took that potion that kept Catalina from being in our lives until this one, I lost him too.”

“I remember feeling like he was mine.  It’s strange, given our relationship now,” Jason admitted.  Dick could understand that.  Catalina had been a distant mother.  She hadn’t cared beyond what providing the heir and marrying the crown prince would do for her.  And that selfishness had only grown into what she expected from him, which in the end was what got Jason killed and the two of them miserable and not together.

“He thought of you as a father as well.  He told me…told me when he found me mourning you.”  As if having the memory of Jason dying once wasn’t enough, he now had multiple lifetimes worth of memories of his death.

“I know it sucks having to have buried me so many times, but I gotta say it’s pretty badass to say I killed fucking dragons for a living in one of my lives.  I mean, I was the shit,” Jason laughed, and Dick couldn’t help but smile in response.

“I guess that’s one upside.”

“There’s a lot of upsides, Dickie.  We might have had too many almosts to count, but there was still so much love.”  Jason shifted to his side so he was fully facing Dick and it made Dick’s chest ache.  Who knew all this time that emotion he felt whenever he saw Jason was so much more than just affection?  “It’s hard to separate how I felt all those years and how I feel now, but maybe that’s because I know what it is I’ve been feeling all these years.”

“I know what you mean.”  Squeezing the hand Dick was still holding onto, he let out a soft breath.  “Do you think if Fate hadn’t shown us, we would have missed the opportunity?”

“I think we would have wasted some more time, but we would have figured it out eventually.”

“So much time lost.”

“Not anymore, though.  From this lifetime on, she can’t touch us.”

“No, she’s done her damage.  She lost.”  Jason smile turned sad at that, but Dick knows he’s happy more than sad.  “For all the shit we’ve pulled on each other in this life, I’m glad it’s you Jay.  I just want you to know that.”

“I’m glad it’s you too, Dickie.”  Dick frowned when Jason released his hand but closed his eyes when the warm palm was placed on his cheek instead.  “And this thing with Damian and Bruce, we’ll figure it out.  Okay?”  Dick nodded, but kept his eyes closed.  “It’s okay to not be okay.  You told me that countless times over countless lives, remember?”

“I remember knowing I wasn’t going to see you again that first time.  At least not alive.  I had no idea how I knew it, but I knew.”  That fear that had gripped his heart, he had felt it too many times to count now.  “I had that feeling before I left for that Titans mission.  When I was saying goodbye, I wanted to ask B if I could bring you with.  I couldn’t explain it.”

“If I hadn’t died, we would still be stuck in that loop.”  And that was a good point.  It didn’t really make him feel any better, but he could acknowledge that Jason’s too young death had ended another lifetime of almost and so close.  “And at least Madame Xanadu kept her word about Catalina not being in your life until this one.  Though, I wouldn’t have expected her to be quite what she was in this lifetime.”

“A rapist.”  The words were out of his mouth before he could stop them and the dread the filled his chest at the thought of Jason knowing that particular truth was almost suffocating.

“Dickie?”  He felt Jason shift and the bed dip in a way that told Dick that the other man had sat up.  Shaking his head, Dick sat up and swung around so his back was to Jason and his legs were hanging over the edge of the bed.  “Dick.  What happened?”

With a sigh he ran a hand through his hair and scrubbed at his face.  “You know what happened with Blockbuster and what she did.  You know all the shit that had happened back then, but only Donna knows what happened right after she shot Desmond.”  And telling Donna had been hard.  Much harder than this, mostly because it was fresh, and he was a mess.  But he had moved on and he had gotten his head sorted. 

“What.  Happened.”

“I was having a panic attack, thinking I might as well have pulled the trigger since I stepped aside and let her do it for me.  So, I went up to the roof to try and get some air, hoping to just be able to breathe.  She followed me and…well she took advantage of the attack.  And she didn’t listen when I told her no.”  There was silence and Dick knew Jason was processing what he had said.  He knew how Jason felt about sexual assault, which was part of the reason why he had never mentioned it to him or any of the others in the family.  Especially not Jason though.  They might not have been on good terms when it happened, but Dick didn’t doubt that Jason wouldn’t have tried to take action once they had gotten there.

“Only Donna knows?”

“Yeah.”

“Is she dead?”

“What?”  Dick twisted to look at Jason, not surprised at all to see the control fury on his face.  The brilliant green of the Pit edging in on his turquoise eyes.

“Is Catalina dead?”  Nodding his head, Dick frowned when Jason seemed to relax a bit.  “How?”

With a furrow of his brow, Dick tried to remember what exactly had happened according to the reports he had read.  “An inmate at Blackgate was someone she had helped put away, albeit reluctantly given her tendency to kill.  I don’t know much more than that.  I’m sure B had the account on the computers.”

Dick just watched Jason nod and take a few deep breaths, relaxing even further.  

“You really should tell Babs about that.  She’s still strongly convinced you cheated on her with the bitch,” Jason told him.  And yeah, Dick knew that, but it was easier to deal with her thinking lowly of him in that regard versus having to tell her that she basically opened the door for Catalina to take advantage of him.  That their breakup had just been another thing to push him toward his breakdown.  “But you won’t tell her, will you?” 

Shaking his head, Dick laid back down and stared up at the ceiling, hands gripping his hair.  “I’ve thought about it, but it doesn’t change anything.  She and I are still friends and work together just fine.  It’d only make her feel bad.  I don’t want to be the cause of that.”  Jason let out a laugh that was sharp and made Dick clench his jaw a little.

“You’re too fucking good for this world, Dick.  I have said that in every single lifetime, but it will never stop being true.”

“I’m not too good for the world.  I’m just what I need to be to deserve you.”

Jason snorted and Dick sighed when the warm length of his body laid back down next to him.  “Fucking sap.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Todd, I swear on all that is good in this world if you do not move I will gut you where you stand,” Damian glared at the older man and Jason just frowned and shook his head.  And while he wanted to default to his usual annoyance with the kid, he knew this was a delicate situation and Dick would appreciate it if he could handle it as such.

“Damian, look I get it okay.  I know you’re worried,” Jason said, and Damian scoffed.  “You are and we both know it.  But the thing with Fate brought some tough stuff to light for both Dick and me.  And he’s having a hard time coming to terms with some of it.  You need to give him time.  He needs, deserves, that much.”

Jason watched as Damian looked from Jason to the door the other man was blocking with a deep frown etched on his face.  And Jason wished he could tell Damian it would all be all right, but he didn’t know.  Dick was pretty messed up and in the darkness of the previous night he had spilled that pain to Jason. 

“Did I do something wrong?”

“God, no kid.  No.”  Jason said it firmly, gripping Damian’s upper arms and crouching just slightly (when had he gotten taller?) to look him in the eye.  “I won’t lie and say it’s not about you, but it is absolutely nothing you did.  And it’s nothing Dick or anyone in the family did.  It just…it just is.  And he’s having to reconcile with it.”  Straightening, Jason gave his upper arms a light squeeze before letting go.  “Why don’t you come hang out with me in the kitchen.  I was going to make him some food before you stormed the gates.”

“That would be acceptable,” Damian said, his default mask of indifference falling back into place.  But Jason could still see the worry lining his eyes.

They had been assembling the fixings for omelets for about twenty minutes when the bedroom door finally opened, and Jason could see Dick running a hand through wet hair.  He paused midway when he spotted Damian sitting on one of the stools at his island.  The boy had definitely heard the door open, but Jason could see he was intentionally allowing his brother the chance to decide if he was ready to face him or not.  Dick stood frozen and while Jason wasn’t sure how to handle the look of pain on his face, he did put the knife down and headed to where Dick stood, pausing briefly to squeeze Damian’s shoulder on his way past.

“He showed up thirty minutes ago demanding to see you.  I told him no, but he’s convinced that it’s something he did.  So, I let him stay for a bit.”  Jason kept his voice low and Dick didn’t bother looking from the back of Damian’s head to Jason.  “He’ll leave if you want him to.  He doesn’t understand, but he will.”

“I don’t know what I want.”

“That’s okay, too.”  He watched Dick take a deep breath before closing his eyes and rubbing at his forehead.  “You can try and if it’s too much then you can go back to the bedroom and I can get him out.”  Sapphire eyes met his finally and Dick nodded.

“Yeah, okay.”  Jason ignored the new and yet deeply engrained desire to grab Dick’s hand and let the other man lead the way back to the kitchen.  “Hey Dames,” Dick said softly when he reached the stool, slipping onto the one next to his.  The younger turned his green eyes onto his oldest brother and gave a tentative smile, which grew when Dick opened his arms for the hug he always demanded when he saw the kid.

Jason just huffed a laugh and went back to making breakfast.  He dutifully ignored the silence behind him and just let the two have their moment.  He wasn’t sure if Dick would be able to handle much, but he also knew that Dick tended to allow himself unlimited amounts of pain in order to make his siblings feel better.

This was different though, the voice in the back of his mind whispered.

“Father is quite beside himself with worry about what happened.  Will you come talk to him?”  The request made Jason tense up and turn to look at the exchange.  There was a flash of pain on Dick’s face before he schooled his features again and shook his head.

“I don’t think so, Dames.  Not yet.  It’s hard to explain, but I just need some time.”  Damian looked like he wanted to argue but simply nodded his head instead.  And Jason was glad for the impact Dick had had on the kid because when he had first arrived there was no way he would have taken no for an answer.

“Is there anything I can tell him for you then?”

“You can tell him I’m not mad at him.  That is not the reason I’m staying away right now.  He knows what the overall meaning of what Fate showed Jay and I, but there were some other things revolving around you and him and I just need to get my head back in order.”  Jason watched Damian frown but remain silent.  This wasn’t any different than what Jason had told the kid earlier, but he had probably still needed to hear it from Dick himself.  “You understand, right Little D?  I’m not upset with you.  I’m just coming to terms.”

“Will you tell me one day?”  Jason watched Dick now, closely.  He had been curious about that too, but he hadn’t known how to ask that question last night when Dick had admitted to what was really messing with him.

“I don’t know.  I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready to open that wound back up once I’m able to close it up enough to handle.”  Jason knew Dick well enough that if Damian pushed, he would cave and tell him the truth right then.  But he also knew Damian enough to know the kid loved Dick too much to upset him so purposefully.

“Will you tell Father one day?”

“No.”  Jason could have guessed that much too.  “If anyone is going to know, it’ll be you.”  Damian seemed pleased to hear that and Jason deemed it safe to go back to actually making breakfast.  The words between the pair behind him fell into a static like state, letting them have their conversation.  Because despite the unresolved issues, this moment felt like peace.  The man he had loved for centuries and the kid who was supposed to be theirs.  This was what was supposed to be his all along and he was so glad he was finally able to have it.  Even if he had to die at the age of 15 in order to get it, at least he had it now.

EPILOGUE

SIX MONTHS LATER

ORIGINAL GOTHAM KINGDOM, UK

Dick looked down at the vast amount of green from the balcony of the room of the castle.  The sight was familiar, distantly so, and yet not at the same time.  The village below was much quieter than it had been in his memory and the castle was much too loud.  The tourists exploring where they could caused voices to echo without the items that had once made this castle his home.

“You have found your way back,” a voice came behind him, causing Dick to turn and smile at a familiar face.

“Madame,” he greeted with a softness.  Besides the manner of dress, the woman looked exactly the same as she had in the memories he had of her.  Memories that Jason hadn’t had because she did not have direct interactions with the other man.

The woman smiled back at him and moved to stand next to him, looking out at the grounds.  “I am glad things have come to a close.  I am glad my actions have been made right.”  Dick looked at her, leaning his hip along the stone railing of the balcony and considered her close.

“You promised it would be made right.  That it would feel as though it would never happen, but that we would get our time.”  The woman nodded but kept her eyes on the landscape.  “But neither of us remembered anything from the previous lives.  Another gift?”

“A parting one I granted over your pyre at the request of your son.”  That made Dick frown.  As far as he had known, Damian had never known about what Catalina had done.  He had made sure the boy had only known his mother had conspired to kill Jason and nothing more.  “He came to me days before your death, the evening before he was to be crowned, and asked me to tell him the story.”  She turned wise eyes onto Dick, and he remained silent.  “I told him what his mother did and what you did for him.  He asked if there was any way to spare you both the pain of remembering how many times you came close only to have the curse pull you apart.  He wished to spare you the pain of the loss each and every time.”

No one had witnessed his pain as closely as Damian had, when Jason had died.  His son had stood by his side through all of the public mourning, the private grief, and had even witnessed moments where Dick had thought he had been alone in his pain.  He supposed it shouldn’t surprise him that he wanted to spare his father the pain of remembering all of those times he had lost Jason before.  Just one time was enough to burden his heart.  Now in this lifetime, he was slowly remembering each of the times, but he had the comfort of knowing he had Jason for good from here on out.  The curse would no longer take him.

“His heart is bigger than most want to believe,” Dick commented, thinking of the boy that Damian had been when Talia had given him to Bruce those years ago.  Now at the age of sixteen, he was kind and empathetic.  He was the son Dick had raised him to be centuries ago.  “Was Talia the other woman you had mentioned?”

Xanadu nodded.  “She was.  But you got to him in time.  And Bruce being away for that year was by fate’s design so you could turn the tide.”  A year that had been one of the hardest Dick had ever endured, but one that had made him stronger and had opened the door for Jason to return to the fold.  “I am sorry he had to be stripped from your blood, but without Catalina he could not be yours.”

And yeah, Dick had eventually come to that conclusion after they had learned the truth.  He had put the puzzle together and saw the bigger picture.  Though there had been times Damian had still been his son, though not by blood.  And that had been enough.  It was still enough.  He just wished it weren’t Bruce he was fighting for the role of father with. 

“I can help,” Xanadu commented, and Dick looked over at her curiously.  “I know you do not wish to tell him of the past and undermine the relationship he has with his blood father now, but I do believe he deserves to know just as you and your Slayer.”  But Dick wasn’t sure about that.  What good would it do to muddy those waters even more?  “This will open his mind just as Fate opened yours.”  She held out a vial with a rich blue liquid in it.  “Give it to him or do not, the choice is yours.  But it will not do the damage you believe it will.”

With only slight hesitation, Dick reached out and took the vial.  It looked just like the one he had gotten from her the first time he had spoken to her and it made him smile.  “Thank you,” he said softly, sapphire eyes locked on the vial in his hand.  He didn’t know if he would give it to Damian, but it was nice to know he had the choice to without having to tell the story himself.

“I must be on my way.  I am glad, Richard of House Wayne, that you have found yourself again.  I look forward to seeing the good you and your Slayer do together in this life and in all the ones to follow.”  Straightening his posture, Dick closed his fist around the vial, pressed it to his chest and bowed in respect.

“Until we see each other again,” he smiled as he straightened, finding the all too familiar amused surprise on her face before she was gone in a blink of an eye.  Huffing out a laugh, Dick took another moment to appreciate the view from the balcony of his room from all those lifetimes ago before turning to head out and back down to where he had parked his car in the parking lot.

The drive back to the village where he had booked his and Jason’s hotel room was just outside of what would have been the lower city levels and though he had only a small handful of memories of the place, it had filled him with nostalgia as soon as they had hit the city limits. 

“How was it?”  Jason’s voice called out the moment he pushed open the door to their room, stone walls and rich clay giving everything a comforting, old-world feel.

“Very much the same,” he replied, dropping the car keys on the table near the door before moving further into the suite and finding Jason sitting near the open French doors that led to the balcony, glass of wine in hand.  There was some sort of soft, instrumental music floating in from the live band in the courtyard below.  “But different too.  So much of the grounds have been redone for obvious reasons, but the infrastructure is probably just as it was.  I could almost hear Tim and Cass sword fighting in the halls and Bruce scolding them about propriety.” 

Jason smiled at him from his spot and held out a hand, which Dick moved close enough to take in his own.  “Thank you for finding this.  It was good to remember that there was so much love in those rooms, despite the loss.”

“I will find each of the homes if that’s what it takes to take that frown away.”

Slipping his free hand into his pocket, Dick felt the vial Xanadu had given him and wondered if that would be the final piece he needed to finally feel at peace with all the years of pain.  But he figured that was a decision for another time, not wanting to sour the mood between him and Jason right then.

“Is there any wine left for me?”  Dick asked, leaning down to press a kiss to Jason’s mouth before he released his hand and moved over to the small table that held the bottle and a waiting glass along with the remaining bits of a cheese platter Dick was sure Jason had ordered with it.  “I was thinking we could walk into the square and find a place to eat outside, watch the sunset.”  Jason didn’t answer, but Dick could hear him moving as he poured the wine into his glass, so he wasn’t surprised when the other man’s arm wrapped around his waist and Jason’s chin ended up propped up on his shoulder.

“We can do whatever you want, My King,” the younger man whispered into Dick’s ear and though he was trying to be sweet, Dick couldn’t help but chuckle at the endearment.  They had been trying out previous names but this one seemed to be Jason’s favorite.

Leaning back into Jason’s firm chest, he let the other man sway them to the music still drifting in.  He took a drink from his wine glass and sighed softly.  It reminded him so much of moments that were now memories that seemed so familiar and old.  Moments where the world faded away and only the two of them remained.  Moments where Dick had been certain would be his forever.  Memories that would get him through any trial, so long as he had Jason at his side.  But that hadn’t been the case.  He had lost it time and time again. 

But not this time.

No, he knew Jason wouldn’t be stolen away from him this time despite the deep-seated fear that all the previous losses had instilled in him.  Even though he had technically already been stolen away when Jason was just fifteen years old, but that had been the moment everything had been made right.  “Let’s get married,” he said without thought. 

“What?”

Turning to look at Jason, the other man’s arm falling from his waist as he did.  “Let’s get married,” he repeated.  “How many lifetimes did we want to do just that but couldn’t because of duty or law or prejudice?  But none of that is stopping us anymore.”  The look on Jason’s face told Dick he was considering it.

“So what?  We get married tomorrow?”  Dick’s mind was racing with the possibilities and he shrugged.

“Maybe?”  He scrambled to gather his thoughts and shook his head.  “Or we go home and do it so the family can be involved.  I don’t care.  I just know that being here and remembering everything, I don’t want to wait anymore.  We have been waiting for so long.  And I’m just as certain that you are the one I want as I was the very first time.”

Jason’s smile was warm, and it made Dick melt as he was pulled in close with the arm returning to his waist.  “Then let’s get married.  We can do something for the family when we get back home, but let’s find somewhere that will do it for us before we leave.  It’s only right that we do it where it all began.”  Dick just smiled and slid a hand up Jason’s chest, around his neck, and up into the hair at the back of his head.  “Think we have time for a little celebration before we head out?”

Instead of answering, Dick just pulled Jason’s head down so their lips could meet.  Yeah, there was definitely time to celebrate.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Richard?  Aren’t you and Todd on some soul-searching event?  Father said not to expect contact from you both for a few weeks,” Damian’s confused voice came through with a slight crackle that spoke of spotty reception.  But his comment made Dick laugh as he walked the street with his fingers entwined with Jason’s.

“Yeah, about that…” He began, glancing up at Jason who smiled down him and pressed a kiss to his temple before looking back out at the people milling about around them.  “How would you feel about taking a spontaneous trip for a few days?”

“I would feel compelled to ask why you two suddenly want company on your voyage.”

“Would you accept me saying I’ll tell you when you get here?”  There was silence and Dick knew Damian was contemplating whether or not he could handle not knowing until he arrived.  Because Dick also knew that Damian would come.  Not out of curiosity but because it was Dick who was asking.

“Should I fly commercial or can I take the WE jet?”

“Take the jet.  There’s a private airstrip you can land on and we’re here as Richard Grayson and Jason Peters, so the locals are already aware of Bruce Wayne’s eldest being here.”  He could hear Damian moving around and muttering to himself as Jason pointed out a small café that had a few empty tables outside.  Dick nodded and let the other man’s hand slip out of his own as Jason headed inside to request a table.  “Hey Dames?”

“Hmm,” the younger hummed through the phone.

“I’m glad you’re coming.  I really want you here for this.”

His brother was quiet for a moment before a soft, “Whatever it is, I’m honored that you wanted me with you.  Even if I have to fly across the globe without knowing exactly why.”  Dick snorted out a laugh and rubbed at his chest where he could feel a warmth spreading from the affection he could hear in Damian’s voice.

“I’ll explain everything when you get here.”  He paused as he slipped his hand into his pocket and felt the vial Madame Xanadu had given him.  “Everything.”

“Everything?”  He could tell Damian was trying to quell the hope at the implications of that word and it made it clear that Dick was going to make the right decision by allowing Damian the choice to know or not.

“Everything.”

“Hey, we got a table Dickie,” Jason called out as he came back out of the café and waved Dick over to one of the tables tucked under the canopy.  Dick nodded and signaled he be just a minute.

“I gotta go Dames but send me your ETA and Jay and I will be there waiting for your arrival.  I’ll get you a room at the place we’re staying.”

“That is an acceptable plan.  I will inform you as soon as I have the details.”

“Safe travels,” Dick said before they said goodbye and he hung up on the phone.  Taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly, Dick nodded to himself as he slipped his phone into his pocket and walked over to where Jason was already seated.

[vampiremeerkat]

Are there any villains who should have won in your opinion?

The majority of (Disney) villains don’t have good plans for their surroundings, even if their evil is the result of a tragedy or unfair treatment from the heroes. Villains like Maleficent, Zira, and Hades are not deserving of a victory because of this reason, though the question is if they were ever good people.I think Cinderella 3 and Beauty and the Beast could’ve made it work, though I prefer their original ending.In Cinderella 3, Anastasia should’ve gotten the prince. These two spent infinitely more time together than he and Cinderella ever did. That he was brainwashed into believing Anastasia was the girl he danced with at the ball doesn’t change this.Disney made up this “spark” excuse in the movie, basically so they could justify why the pretty prince would only date the pretty Cinderella. They know very well that she wouldn’t have gotten a happy ending with this man if she had Anastasia’s face. Her personality never mattered, he only approached her because she was wearing a nice dress.This movie makes me hungry for a romantic Disney movie starring an unattractive prince and/or princess.But well, it’s not fair to blame Disney for this, their business is to adapt old fairy tales; the main characters there are always attractive or become attractive later on as some kind of reward to the love interest.In Beauty and the Beast, Gaston is portrayed as a stereotypical manly man who can’t handle rejection and is dubbed a bad person because of it, yet the movie glances over the beast. Did this hairball not imprison a woman with the desire in mind she’d be the one to break his curse? That’s not a good base for a relationship.Whatever Gaston did in the movie, the beast did worse.   

Gaston aggressively flirted with Belle - while the beast was aggressively aggressive towards Belle. He could’ve knocked her head clean off in that rose chamber scene.   

Gaston wanted to put Belle’s father in an asylum and requested her love in exchange for his freedom - while the beast would’ve flat out killed the old man if she hadn’t shown up in time.. whereafter her father was again used as a trade object.I’ll make a bold statement and say the beast would’ve eaten him in addition to letting him freeze to death. The left-over carcasses in the west wing say enough about what his state of mind was at the time.

Gaston refused to hear out Belle, and locked her up before leaving to kill the beast - while the beast imprisoned Belle for months and tried to emotionally manipulate this female stranger into romantically considering him by giving her a pleasant stay. With help of his desperate servants. Even if he ended up liking her and setting her free, this was the plan.

Gaston was the beast before the beast was the beast. There’s no reason to believe Belle couldn’t have changed him too, but he was not given the chance. The unfavourable description of him that she gave to her father fully matches that of the prince she ended up falling for, and I can’t say if this irony was intentional. But why did she find this asshole worthy and not the other asshole? She didn’t. The difference is that the beast gave Belle no choice but to deal with him. Even Gaston went back home at the end of the day.The way Belle rejected the beast’s first attempts of “hospitality” were strong and to the point, and she should’ve used the same force towards Gaston, who was only ever given a “Gaston! I’m speechless, lol! I’m not worthy of your massive cock!“.Belle needed to tell him what she told her father in private; that he isn’t her type. Or at the least that she disliked his behaviour. The same thing she let the beast know after he saved her from the wolves.Her words should’ve impacted Gaston, as he cared when she became upset over him and Lefou ridiculing her father. Why would he care if he’s a villain? Even if his care lasted for 3 seconds?Gaston’s personality and actions are hardly that of a villain. Upon meeting him, the audience doesn’t like him because humans today are nothing like the people in Belle’s village, and the past makes us shake our heads. They’re cartoon characters, but still based on human mentality that used to exist. And still exists in some countries.Gaston and the townspeople were honestly convinced Belle’s father was crazy, they didn’t just say that to hurt him and Belle. That Gaston used him as a bargaining chip to get Belle’s hand is disgusting, but her father would’ve been locked up years prior if the town didn’t enjoy his “insanity” so much. How often each day does Belle’s house explode?Gaston’s jealousy over the way Belle complimented the beast is also less than charming, but to see the image of a roaring bear-thing wouldn’t convince old-timey townsfolk of its kindness. Didn’t people get burned for witchcraft in that time period, still? They’ve been rather gracious towards Belle and her unexplained magic mirror. And their quest to kill a giant unknown creature inside a cursed castle with living furniture is far from strange.Everything Gaston did was to make Belle his wife and that by itself is a tragedy. He had three busty blondes spreading it for him, but he was obsessed with the one person in the village who happened to want nothing to do with him. To me, Gaston hasn’t shown himself to be more unhinged than the beast; even at the end you could argue that the only reason the beast didn’t drop him off the roof was because Belle had given him his humanity back. And I ask again, could the same not have been done for Gaston?Like the beast, prince Adam, he’s a self-absorbed douche who’s always been surrounded by people who grovelled at his feet. He didn’t know any better and needed a Belle in his life to tell him to chill.So far my report.

[entamewitchlulu]

Year of Yu-Gi-Oh Part II: Toei Adaptation

After the manga comes the anime adaptation known infamously among the fandom as “season zero.”

Aired in 1998, “”season zero”” has no actual season relation to the main series Duel Monster anime.  Instead, it as produced and run by Toei Animation, and follows the basic storyline of the first seven volumes of the manga, mostly in a game-of-the-week style format.  Like the manga, the story follows Yugi Mutou, a boy who solves the mysterious Millennium Puzzle which awakens a spirit in him that challenges his bullies, enemies, and other opponents to magical games.  Unlike the manga, however, the anime version heavily alters many scenes, including the content of the games, their results (few, if any characters actually die from the games, unlike the manga), filler episode plots, and most drastically, the addition of Miho Nosaka, a former oneshot character, as a recurring major character.

But you all already know all of that, probably!  So here’s the important stuff: what did I think of my rewatch?  Well...

The sad thing is, I seem to recall enjoying this anime a LOT more the first time I watched it.  The second watchthrough was...less interesting.

Good stuff first, though.  Most of the main voice cast is absolutely stunning.  Megumi Ogata as Yugi/Yami Yugi in particular is incredibly strong, and I will never love a Yami Yugi voice more than hers; the soft, unassuming sort of confidence fits and characterizes Yami Yugi in a way that I don’t think any other adaptation of Yami Yugi ever could (sorry, Dan Green).  

Also, I really, really love seeing the smaller, visibly young looking Yami Yugi animated in general.  Yami Yugi absolutely becomes significantly older looking than Yugi in DM and in the later half of the manga, which makes little sense considering he is using the exact same body as Yugi.  I much prefer this younger, cuter Yami Yugi, which, in my opinion, makes his entire schtick far more intimidating.  Small, childish looking Yugi Mutou challenging you to a death game?  Far more frightening and eerie than loud, brash Dan Green-ified Yami Yugi just shouting at you, imo.  Jonouchi and Anzu’s voices really stand out as a personification of their manga characters, as well.

I may be in the minority here, but I also really, really loved Miho’s addition to the main cast.  She didn’t fit into every scene, of course, and there were bits where even I felt like her inclusion was forced, but for good chunks of the series, especially in filler episodes, she absolutely shone and stood out as her own character with her own goals and motivations, who was still a part of the group and participated--and even won!!--in many of the group’s challenges.  I also just like having another girl in the group, ya know?

Smaller details that I did like: overall color palette aside, I really, REALLY love Yami Yugi’s red eyes, and I continue to describe Yami Yugi with red eyes in every fic I ever include him in.  Ryo’s green eyes are also a fave of mine.  Also: NO JOHJI!!!!  Miho basically replaces him completely in Death-T and wow, that’s honestly an even better idea than to replace him with Honda’s dog!

Now before I move on to the more negative part of this review, lemme leave you with a cute picture of Miho Nosaka:

the rest is under the cut so as to avoid clogging up the dash even more, and so that y’all can avoid my negative bits if ya want.

So, down to business.  Why didn’t I really enjoy my rewatch of the Toei adaptation?

1) Pacing.  The plot episodes seem to rush themselves along as fast as they can, to try and fit as much from the manga chapter in as possible.  Filler episodes, or episodes based on filler chapters, drag out so long that it becomes a slog to get through.

2) Low animation budget.  Unfortunately, the limits of the time this anime was produced didn’t help it’s case either.  The color palette is a goddamn oversaturated mess, and some of the color choices are truly head-scratching.  Seto Kaiba with green hair?  Who decided that?  Wasn’t he already colored with brown hair on a manga volume prior to this adaptation?  Palette aside, action scenes are considerably muted due to lack of budget to fully animate them, resulting in strange cuts and boring shots.  A LOT of the charm and intensity that gave a lot of moments in the manga their punch is lost in the adaptation, as Takahashi’s more horror manga-esque style is heavily simplified and stylized to get to the screen.  The extra cartoonish coloring also contributes to a lot of the more intense scenes from the manga falling flat.

3) Sound direction.  It’s just boring.  Only Yami Yugi’s theme stands out, and even that’s not really top of the line.  Sound effects are silly and cartoonish, and I’ll be honest, I do not like the OP or ED.  And outside of the main cast....?  A lot of the voice acting sounds pretty dull and unmemorable.

4) Adaptation changes pt 1. Listen...I’m not here to be all Edgy and say this show was bad because it refused to kill people.  But this anime completely pulls its punches when it comes to...everything.  As far as I can remember, not a single person actually dies during the series, despite Yami Yugi killing or hospitalizing at least five-six people in the manga.  It just hits a lot less hard when all he’s done is given someone an illusion of being burned to death instead of him actually dropping his cigarette butt into the alcohol and lighting himself on fire.  For some reason, it just makes everything feel a bit flatter.

5) Adaptation changes pt 2. The games!!!  They’re boring!!!  The real draw, for me, of the manga was when Yami Yugi used ordinary items in his surroundings to pull together a game.  In the anime, he just pops them into a weird, nightmare dimension where weird shit happens and the games never make sense.  Not to mention, the anime adds a lot of extra encounters with Kaiba than the manga had, including extra Duel Monsters games.  And while Takahashi had little to no rules for the game in the first place, in the anime, when they don’t have a manga script to follow, it is a goddamn free for all. It’s like Calvinball up in here, making up shit left and right, even WORSE than the manga ever did, and it’s...not fun to watch.  At all. Not understanding what’s happening just makes me, as a viewer, feel cheated and let down.  

6) Adaptation changes pt 3.  Due to the nature of the adaptation, a lot of bits and pieces of character arcs were switched around, cut out, or straight up ignored.  Mokuba does not go rescue Honda from the blocks game in Death-T.  The Jonouchi-Hirutani arc is condensed from its original several chapters span into a single episode.  And there are other examples as well, that I think overall do a disservice to the cast and the individual characters.

So, my overall verdict?  Unless you are a super die-hard fan of Yu-Gi-Oh, particular DM, I don’t think the anime is worth the time.  It’s quirky, funny, and can be fun in places, but overall, it at least wasn’t really worth my second watch.

I’m still stealing Miho for my own purposes, though.

[acsversace-news]

Let’s just get this out of the way upfront, since the comparison is inevitable: The Assassination of Gianni Versace doesn’t quite reach the heights of The People vs. O.J. Simpson. But so what?

The second season of FX’s American Crime Story was never going to be as richly textured as the first, if only because Simpson’s “trial of the century” was so much more significant as a cultural event. The verdict was a defining American moment, the kind where you remember where you were when you heard it. So through no fault of its own, Versace never really stood a chance against its Emmy-winning ACS sibling. And yet, on its own merits, Versace makes for addictive, phenomenal television. I was hooked from the opening scene, in which director Ryan Murphy and series writer Tom Rob Smith dispense with the titular murder, getting it out of the way early before working their way backwards, tracing how this tragic crime came to pass.

Much like how the first season of ACS wasn’t really about O.J. Simpson, neither is the second season really about Italian fashion designer Gianni Versace. Instead, it inverts the first season’s formula and shifts its focus from the courtroom to the crime spree and the man behind it, Andrew Cunanan. This creative choice isn’t necessarily what I was expecting given Versace‘s marketing materials, which from the very start, have trumpeted the casting of Edgar Ramirez as Gianni and Penelope Cruz as Donatella. And yet it proves to be a wise decision, since to be honest, the power struggle within the House of Versace isn’t half as interesting as the walking question mark that is Cunanan.

So let’s talk about the actual star of the show, Darren Criss. I know Criss is a big TV star thanks to Murphy’s earlier hit Glee, and he has two million Twitter followers and he’s a very famous guy. But I’m a professional entertainment consumer and I’d never seen him in anything before (though I almost rented Girl Most Likely once), so as far as I was concerned, he felt completely new to me, as I imagine he will to a lot of people who didn’t watch Glee. I suspect that those who did watch it won’t recognize ‘Blaine’ once they see Criss covered in blood, a crazed look in his empty eyes. He’s simply excellent here as Cunanan, a gay serial killer in the vein of Matt Damon’s talented Mr. Ripley, but of course, this manipulative sociopath with a 147 IQ is hardly a work of fiction. Criss is absolutely chilling here, and there’s a haunting sadness to his carefully calibrated breakout performance. I can’t say enough about Criss’ work, which will force you to look at the actor in a completely different light.

As for Versace, he’s reduced to a supporting character in his own story, not that I’m arguing, given how satisfying all of the Cunanan scenes are. In fact, the episodes that solely focus on Andrew are the best of the bunch, and the Versace thread tends to interrupt their momentum. Ramirez is magnetic as the formidable fashion designer, but he also plays Versace with a certain softness that serves as a nice antidote to Cunanan’s craziness. You really believe Ramirez and Cruz could be siblings when Gianni and Donatella spar over her role in his budding empire. You can see Donatella is tired of living in her brother’s shadow and eager to carve out her own identity within the fashion world, and Gianni sees this as well, offering her up to the cameras in an attempt to placate her ego. Ricky Martin plays the third wheel of this co-dependent relationship, Gianni’s longtime partner Antonio D’Amico, and while the pop singer does a fine job, their relationship is just dressing on the Cunanan salad.

The series endeavors to depict Versace and Cunanan as two men on opposite ends of a spectrum. Versace came from nothing and built his life into something of meaning. Cunanan had a reasonably happy childhood, and yet, his life quickly fell apart once he struck out on his own. That parallel is reflected in one of the episode titles, “Creator/Destroyer,” which presents the men as two sides of the same ruthlessly ambitious coin. The difference between them is that while Cunanan desperately wanted to lead the life of luxury that Versace enjoyed and most people only read about in magazines, he wasn’t willing to put in any of the hard work to actually earn it.

Cunanan may have been added to the FBI’s Most Wanted list prior to the Versace murder, but he didn’t become infamous until he killed the fashion designer, relegating the rest of his victims to “other” status. That’s how they’re initially presented, too, since we don’t get to know what these people meant to Andrew until after we’ve learned he’s killed them, so it’s not until later that we come to understand how and why Cunanan could’ve done what he did. That’s if you can understand the killer’s warped thinking to begin with, given his knack for telling tall tales. The more lies Cunanan tells his friends, the more we realize he’s lying to himself, and he has no idea of who he really is anymore. He has lost his own sense of identity, drifting from one to the next as he zigzags his way across the country towards Versace’s opulent home in South Beach. For Cunanan, the greatest sin is to be boring and forgotten. Told all his life that he’s someone special, he’s stunned when others don’t see it, and Criss plays those moments of rejection quite beautifully.

The fourth episode of the season introduces Cunanan’s former lover, David Madson (hugely talented Australian actor Cody Fern, a real find) and David’s current beau, Jeffrey Trail (AHS alum Finn Wittrock), and you can’t underestimate their roles in this story, as the latter was Andrew’s first victim, the one who launched his multi-state crime spree. Trail gets his own half-episode (pointedly titled “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell”) dedicated to the (mis)treatment of gays in the military, and while this statement of a subplot adds some context to how authorities (including the cops chasing Cunanan) regarded homosexuals 25 years ago, it also feels a bit shoehorned in. Like, what does this really have to do with Versace or Cunanan? ACS tries to make that connection, using cultural homophobia to explain law enforcement’s delayed search for Cunanan, but it feels a bit forced, though it’s clearly something that interested Murphy in the first place.

Versace is much more successful when it drills down into who Cunanan is, at least as much as one can, given the fact that the guy was a complete cypher of an human being — a gifted chameleon, if you will. A people pleaser, he could be whatever, and whoever, his friends/lovers/targets wanted him to be. That was his skill, if you will. The ability to adapt to any situation… though he also had a need for control. He cared how things looked to other people, and what they thought of him. Of course, to fully understand a man, you have to know where he comes from, and the series soars when it turns its lens on Andrew’s family, particularly his father, Modesto. Filipino actor Jon Jon Briones is utterly fantastic as Andrew’s father, who doted on his precocious child, whom he considered more special than his other kids. You can also see where Andrew might’ve learned his smooth-talking criminal behavior, as Modesto was a stockbroker who bilked people out of their money and abandoned his family when the feds came calling, fleeing back to the Philippines.

The rest of the cast is uniformly excellent from top to bottom. Mike Farrell and Judith Light are both incredible as slain Chicago real estate developer Lee Miglin and his wife, Marilyn. When Miglin’s body is discovered, no one has to tell her what happened — she knows right away, her worst fears confirmed. Edouard Holdener also deserves praise as young Andrew, and Max Greenfield is unrecognizable in the second episode, which offers a reminder of what he can do with the right part.

This disturbing character study is based on Maureen Orth’s book Vulgar Favors, and in addition to Murphy, its directors include Gwyneth Horder-Payton, Nelson Cragg, Daniel Minahan (check out his directorial debut Series 7: The Contenders) and Matt Bomer, though costumer designer Lou Eyrich and production designer Judy Becker deserve equal praise for their lavish contributions.

I might as well use this space to address the recent controversy surrounding the series, which according to the Versace family, is unauthorized and full of inaccuracies.

“The Versace family has neither authorized nor had any involvement whatsoever in the forthcoming TV series about the death of Mr. Gianni Versace,” the family said in a statement. “Since Versace did not authorize the book on which it is partly based nor has it taken part in the writing of the screenplay, this TV series should only be considered as a work of fiction.”

I completely appreciate why they would be concerned about the series’ depiction of Gianni, and particularly his health, I wouldn’t describe the series as a work of fiction, though I’d acknowledge that surely, there must be small fictions within the show. Still, I didn’t watch FX’s Simpson series like it was Ezra Edelman’s O.J. documentary, and I’m not taking The Assassination of Gianni Versace as gospel, either. Yes, it’s based on a bestselling non-fiction book, but as a regular viewer of crime shows, I’m fully aware that Tom Rob Smith is allowed some degree of artistic license in bringing that book to the small screen.

I imagine that can be hard to comprehend when you’re as close to the story as the Versace family is, but if they take a step back — and I don’t even know if they’ve actually seen the series they’ve been so quick to criticize — they’d see there’s really no reason to be concerned. Gianni is depicted as a strong leader, one aware of his mortality and a better man for it. The producers, and Ramirez especially, treat him with the utmost respect, and once the Versace family sees the full series, I think their biggest issue will be with how the show sort of manipulates the audience into having sympathy for Andrew, more than it will be about the depiction of Gianni, which is generous and loving.

“There’s always this question of when you’re making and writing this kind of material – you feel like you want to support the fundamental truths. And you are going to get some of the details wrong, or you’re going to have to fill in a gap at some point, where you don’t have access to the reality. I think the only way you are allowed to do that is if you’re supporting the bigger truth… I’m sure there are points where they could correct some of the smaller details, but I think the bigger picture is that this is a figure that we’re celebrating and a figure that we all fell in love with,” Smith said at FX’s TCA panel, noting that that ultimately, “the show is full of love for him.”

He isn’t lying, nor is trying to justify why Cunanan killed, as the fact that he was gay is ultimately besides the point. This show is about a guy who wanted what another man had but didn’t have the skills or tools to get it, so he figured the only way to achieve the immortality he craved was by robbing one of his icons of his mortality, thus ensuring both would live forever, together, in the annals of history. I don’t care how much of this actually happened and how much is artistic license on Smith’s part. All I care about is whether or not it’s entertaining, and on that front, Versace delivers.

This is a fascinating story about the making of a serial killer. A murderer finding his voice. It marks Tom Rob Smith as a major writer to watch, and Darren Criss as a force to be reckoned with. He delivers one of the most terrifying serial killer performance since Christian Bale starred in American Psycho, though Cunanan also reminded me, at times, of The Tooth Fairy from Manhunter and the serial killer in Copycat.

“You know, disgrace isn’t that bad, once you’ve settled into it,” Andrew tells one of his victims. Well Andrew Cunanan may go down in infamy as a disgrace, but The Assassination of Gianni Versace is anything but.

TB gives it an A.

[deadmomjokes]

So I finally got to watch the Extended Edition Lord of the Rings

And I have SO MANY THOUGHTS

First of all, I had no idea how rushed the theatricals felt until I saw what the Extendeds did for pacing and development. They felt like completely different films, and looking back on the theatricals (which I love/loved) I’m surprised things made sense given what the extendeds added.

(tons more under the cut, I have Too Many Thoughts and Feelings rn)

Second, there were some things I could have lived without:

-The Entwine scene was cute, I suppose, as was the food/pipeweed-finding scene, but I felt personally that it didn’t add too much in terms of development and narrative. Sure, it shows Merry and Pippin being funloving cousins together. But it just felt a bit off in terms of pacing and feel in the surrounding scenes.

-I was ambivalent on the extra scenes inside the Paths of the Dead. The skull avalanche was just... Ok? (I enjoyed the part immediately after they got out and saw the ships, that was fine.)

-I really didn’t appreciate or enjoy the scene of the Witchking shattering Gandalf’s staff, either; I get they were trying to give Gandalf reason to doubt himself and his judgement, but really? It makes ZERO sense for the Witchking to be stronger than Gandalf the White. They don’t bring it up later at all, or say why it’s so significant, and it throws off the timing. The Witchking flies off from Gandalf because he see’s Rohan’s approach; but then it takes another 10 minutes for him to show up at the battle and get Theoden? Did he take a Starbucks break? Who could have possibly delayed him, if he was so much stronger than Gandalf? Altogether a bad scene (and makes no sense because Gandalf is a reincarnated Angel at this point so... Yeah, not happy).

-The discussion with Saruman at Isengard was great, but the utter overkill of him impaling on the wheel was just bizarre. It was almost comical, and not in a way it should have been. Also, way, WAY overkill. Too much. In a film full of death, that was excessive. I loved having the talk with him, and him dying was fine, but the spiky wheel and subsequent drowning just seemed out of place.

-I also didn’t care for the additions to the battle action scenes (not the aftermath parts, those were stunning). For the most part, they felt a bit superfluous. The one exception to that was the battle of Pelennor, and all they added with Eowyn and Merry. Those were great!

Third, and more importantly, there were TONS of scenes I adored, aka everything else. And I am SO angry they took it all out. I would give up whole battles if they had left in these scenes. I mean REALLY, who decided which ones to cut, because they clearly didn’t see the same film I did. They cut all the best parts, all the best acting, things that made everything come together, and most importantly, scenes of massively important character building. Here are some of the ones I loved most, and why I’m angry they cut them:

-The one I’m most angry about, all the Faramir scenes. They chopped the one scene that explained literally EVERYTHING he did and why. That family scene not only developed Boromir posthumously, it showed why Faramir acted like such a jerk, and why he ultimately turned. That was not at all explained in the theatricals. In the theatricals, he’s a random, shallow jerk who turns for no reason. With just the 5 minutes that scene took, he is shown to be complex and a deeply damaged child of abuse who lost the one person who believed in him. And it also explains the “A chance for Faramir, Captain of Gondor, to show is quality” line. Which was odd without context. Also, the end scene of TT where Faramir talks to the hobbits and Gollum about their next steps. Dang that was good. I’m just angry that literally every good, important Faramir scene got cut.

-All the scenes in early Fellowship they cut. The bits showing Bilbo was acting out-of-character. Frodo is worried, Gandalf is worried, Bilbo has a panic attack over the ring. All great stuff that made things make more sense (if you aren’t going into it with background knowledge).

-The scenes they cut of Boromir acting like a normal person, making his betrayal more upsetting. In the theatricals, he is reduced to an annoying, prideful jerk who is taken by the Ring from day one. With the new scenes, he is shown to be a truly complex character who is really trying to do the right thing, but is just misguided and scared. Especially the scenes of him talking with Aragorn. I love the argument they have for another reason, too, which ties in with this next one

-Just that little bit of Galadriel showing Nenya to Frodo. It shows that she knows what it’s like being a Ringbearer. So Frodo is more likely to take her advice, and think she knows what’s best. She tells him he has to be alone, and that his presence will break the Fellowship and ruin the people he cares about. And then we see that stuff happening. Frodo tries to shut himself off from the others, but he can tell Sam is hurt by it. And then he hears Aragorn and Boromir arguing and the Fellowship starting to break. That cements his decision to go alone, especially after the previously kind Boromir attacks him and is clearly under the Ring’s influence.

-All the extra scenes of Frodo. It rounds him out even more, and shows how the Ring affects him emotionally as well as physically. Also all the early scenes make Frodo into a strong, caring, perceptive character; in the theatricals, he goes from happy party boy to depressed child in 3 scenes flat. All the new extended and added scenes show a more complex person, and smooth the transition in a way that makes it feel more organic. Also it showcases some of Elijah Wood’s best acting. I’m salty at how many truly great scenes they cut.

-The scenes that show more of how Aragorn is afraid to accept his destiny. The bit with his mom’s grave was especially powerful. It’s a beautiful arc, and it’s just not utilized that well (really at all) in the theatricals.

-The scene of Frodo and Sam in Mordor. Even while the Ring is actively trying to get found, and is doing everything it can to break Frodo, Frodo still has enough presence of mind to think his way out of the situation. It just underscores how dangerous the Ring is, and how truly strong Frodo is, making it all the more shocking and upsetting and heartbreaking when he ultimately gets taken by it. A lot of scenes showed how strong, smart, and deeply emotional Frodo was, but this one in particular just clinches it for me. I’m so mad they took it out.

-Eomer finding Eowyn. DANG talk about acting. Good grief that about killed me. Eomer doesn’t get much in the way of development (not everyone can), but that was next-level, and gave a lot to him in terms of rounding. Especially after that scene where he’s talking to Eowyn about Merry, but really meaning it for her because he knows her.

The more I think about everything I just witnessed, the harder it is getting to pick out exactly which scenes were most important and impactful for me, because they really make it a completely different experience. Certain arcs and themes are more fully developed (Aragorn becoming who he was born to be, Faramir escaping the toxic cycle that ultimately killed Boromir, Pippin finding his courage, Frodo clinging to hope with Gollum as his own sanity and health start slipping, Sam’s important position as an anchor for Frodo, Eowyn clinging to Aragorn and learning to pull herself away from her past fantasies and ideas of valor, Frodo remaining as strong as humanly/hobbitly possible even far into Mordor... All the things). There were very, VERY few scenes comparatively speaking that I wasn’t angry as heck about their removal. Every single scene with the exception of the few I mentioned at the beginning was, in my opinion, necessary for the full, complete story and experience. I am shocked at how I went this long without having the whole picture. I honestly don’t plan on watching the theatricals anymore. They’re just not complete to me now that I’ve seen everything else.

Also, a few highlights from this binge watch with the husband:

-Lots of pausing at every new scene and hollering about how mad we are that it was cut.

-Too many jokes about Weed.

-Smacking each other in the leg every time an extended or added scene comes on and going “OOH, NEW!!!”

-Choking on a croissant when Frodo asked Gandalf which direction Mordor was I DIE it was so cute!

-Being personally offended that they took out Boromir’s Lorien scenes.

-Having to get up and walk away when we heard the “show his quality” line in the TT scene with Faramir and Denathor. I literally went into the kitchen to scream into a dish towel.

-“Well Frodo just basically spends the whole third movie in a state of dissociation, and this is where it starts.” -My husband’s very astute analysis when they get to Osgiliath. Have dissociated, can confirm.

-Huddled together on the couch screeching loudly at Sam’s line to Faramir about showing his quality (we had Too Many Faramir Feels, y’all).

-Gasping so hard at Sam pulling Frodo out of a #Moment where he realizes he’s probably going to die that I gave myself an asthma attack

-Staying up til midnight last night griping over and over again at how they DARED TAKE THESE SCENES OUT I know I keep saying it but I am never going to be over it

-My husband recoiling in shock and both of us scooby-doo-style-clinging to each other when Eomer screams upon finding Eowyn.

-Going full-scale football-fan cheering and hollering when Aragorn goes to face down the Palantir and taunt Sauron. Followed quickly by panicked shrieking when the necklace shatters.

-Legit gagging at the Mouth of Sauron scene. Homeboy need some Ultrabrite and about 12 gallons of Listerine. I swear I could smell it. I see why they took it out, no theater worker deserves to clean up pools of patron vomit.

-Totally lost it at “Smeagol Lied.”

-I have not cried at these films in 15 years but dang if it didn’t get me this time around hoo boy

[icathiaism]

Is it my idea or the Void is in the depths of the sea according to the new Nami comic? The supposed chosen tidecaller had three eyes?

Much does point to this in the new comic actually and I’ve always thought that it was. I just find poetic irony to escape from the void once only to find another weakness in the world. Under the cut I’m going to analyse each of the panels where stuff appears, but tl:dr yes I think it is void.

WARNING: VERY LONG!

So our first mention of what lies deep in the ocean ( besides the fish ) comes in the story of the tidecallers. Nami’s mother tells her that before her birth “… the Marai were plagued by attacks from monstrous creatures in the deeps.”

These creatures are illustrated as immense serpentine beings, creatures with rigid bodies and multitudes of limbs. Such traits have all been seen within Void creatures and some even resembling a few known species. Coupled with this Riot has depicted them in purple. Riot has often given colour schemes to different sects to give them instant recognisability. For instance, noxus often being red, green and black and demacia being white, gold and blue. This is not untrue from the Voidborn with most being depicted in purples, blues and other dark colours.

The Void is also a plane without light and a place where its denisens are not used to it. Cho’Gath remarks that the sun’s light actually burns him and we also know that Vel’Koz misses the Void’s darkness ( possibly out of home-sickness, if they can experience that, or out of discomfort ) from in-game quotes. And, in conjunction with this, the monsters retreating when flooded with the light from the moonstone and again from Nami later in the comic ( panels I can’t include for post size reasons ) further supports the case of them being Void.

Further evidence comes from the Lunari. It is already well ingrained that Targon knows of and actively fights against the Void. Pantheon commands Aurelion Sol to close Void rifts, Taric now stands ever vigilant against the insidious corruption of the Void, and Diana hunts them to cleanse the night and seal their way to do the ‘night’s work’. So it is not a stretch of the imagination that a Lunari ( and assumingly previous aspect of the moon ) would help the Marai against the Void. ( also Leona may know which is something she may want to talk to Diana about but that is up for speculation. )

The next instance of evidence comes with her meeting with the seaweed monster.

The creature Nami faces appears to be a clump of sea-weed surrounding a glowing core. Its weed acts like tentacle-like appendages which grab and constrict around Nami until she is able to slice her way free and distract it long enough with her light. This creature falls under one of two categories - a being born in the Void or something created by its influence - but I am leaning towards the latter.

In Riot’s description of the Void, it states:

In places where the mystical barriers between Runeterra and the Void have been worn thin, the air feels charged, and fantastical occurrences are the norm. Rivers run with vibrant colors, flowers bloom with incredible perfumes, and living beings experience psychedelic visions and surges in magical power. For a time, such places are wondrous and brimming with miracles, but soon the landscape is twisted into new and deadly forms, and if the Void is able to consume enough biomass to survive, it can grow and evolve into something ferocious and terrifying.

I believe this is what has happened to the creatures of the deep such as this sea-weed monster. An example of this seen in-game with the skuttle-bug and the rift-herald as a result of latent energies left by Baron Nashor. And, I think this given its appearance. It is quite obviously sea-weed evident that is looks like a clump of kelp and with how easy Nami was about to slash it. Further more, the creature did not bleed when it was slashed meaning it lacked any circulatory system or blood / blood-like components, nor did is recoil from being cut which suggesting it lacked nerves which plants do not have. ( plants do however recognise they have been injured just through different channels and often fight back with chemical warfare rather than reaction. )

Furthermore, I think this based on assumptions of Void-born hunting styles. Creatures born of the Void are born in darkness and often do not rely on sight. The Xer’Sai feel where their prey are through the ground, there have been various mentions of them sensing prey through magic or some other means, hearing and smell but never have they been hindered by lack of light. Also, their need to consume and their hunger for blood and flesh has usually always taken precedent over their own lives or motives. Which makes me think it is not born of the Void rather it is made of native biomass and kept some of the mannerisms from the hunters in the area. Another part of the comic ( which I am unable to show you as Tumblr is finding this post too big to save ) has it using similar hunting methods to the previous lantern fish which supports this.

( also, the next part supports this for obvious reasons )

While I have been posting all panels then talking about them, this next part will be too long and so I will talk about each idea as it comes up.

Besides the obvious portal in the ground, the warped scenery and insidious purple glow, This line - “I’ve never seen anything so BEAUTIFUL.” - is another thing that drives this down that this is the Void. This line pairs perfectly with how Riot describes the Void’s effect on the world and people. The world about the tear is beautiful, tantalising and alluring to those that see it. It warps how people view it and it digs into the viewer’s mind and corrupts it.

Also, something to note, the portal seems to be leading onto the image of the Void we received with the universe hub with the massive skeleton to the bottom left. This is just speculation but I do think it’s cool.

Here it is implied that Nami was in a sought of trance until she comes to her senses about the true nature of what she is looking at. Her own pain allows her to free herself from the Void’s grasp, something which is evidently quite fast acting in how quickly it enthralled her. Another thing which enforces that this is the Void to me is the use of words such as death and nightmare. The Void is often compared to nightmares through the lores of many Void-affiliated champions from Malzahar having nightmares of the Void forced upon him to others having it referenced to as a nightmare or nightmarish place in their lore.

The use of death, or rather that the Void is NOT DEATH but a nightmare, leads itself to the idea that death would be better than a fate by the Void since some quotes and flavour stories suggest that the Void collects / feeds on souls - a quote from Cho’Gath even suggesting that those afflicted will suffer eternally / there will be no end to it. This is also interesting as the way a Void-born ( and Void-touched ) dies is also different to the beings of this world, with Aurelion Sol even claiming the Void-born don’t understand how this universe works, and their bodies rapidly disintegrating or decomposing with their deaths. I’ll touch on this again soon.

I really, really enjoy the addition of this new character ( and would love to have someone write for him ). So, if you were still with doubts that this is indeed the Void his existence and what he says should blow those completely out of the water.

Firstly, his design largely mirrors that of the two canon Void-touched humanoids we have. Like Kassadin he has extreme bodily changes from his fins degrading to either spikes or nothing at all, his body mass deteriorated to look sickly and starved ( I am assuming that he did not look like this two weeks ago based on that he was the chosen strongest Marai ), his scale colour has changed from his natural yellows, blues and greens and his eyes have gone glassy and purple. Not to mention the very Malzahar-like trait of the third eye which glows with purple energy. I am also basing my assumption that he did not look like this prior as a result of Nami asking “unscathed, huh?” at his claim so suggesting he is very scathed.

Secondly, his choice of words are very similar to how other characters talk about the Void. He refers to what’s beyond the portal as the Beyond. The word is often used to describe the Void, calling it ‘what lies beyond’ or the Unkown or the Outside. Furthermore, he mentions SEEING beyond, something which almost drove Kassdain to become a mindless beast, was used to torture and break Malzahar through his visions and is said to be able to cause madness and immense fear at just a glimpse. His speaking of the truth and not having fear is very similar to Malzahar whom has forsook all human emotion and claims what he sees as true.

( Also, Rasho’s continued use of calling it death implies he is still under the control which Nami was able to break from when she thought it was death - something very cool. )

Finally, he mentions having great power. This is probably well like what Kassadin experienced where the Void’s energies have given him other-worldly strength, something canon to all Void-touched and described in the Void’s blurb on the Universe Hub.

Now, coming back to how Void-born and Void-touch die it is obvious his body was fully assimilated during his two weeks at the portal. His body seems to disintegrate ( similarly to Malzahar’s own death animation ) and turn into a black substance when he was pierced by the staff. This is similar to the Void-born in Diana’s flavour story where upon killing them they dissolved into a black, tar like substance. So from all of this, it should be quite clear that Rasho was indeed a Void-touched of some description, however more along the vein of the rift herald than the unique circumstances surrounding Kassadin ( where he resisted ) and Malzahar ( where he was purposely targetted ).

Unfortunately, there are some sections I was unable to cover due to post size restraints ( or something - I wasn’t able to save the post ) but they were largely minor or had details previously covered. 

But, again, do I think the rift is Void? Heck yeah, I do, and I love it!

[starfolk7]

(I think this will take a while for you, but i got curious xd) Ornstein and Rowena

Oh my god. You’re right, this is gonna take me a while. It’s gonna be a long one. Apologies for the lack of a read more line. *cracks knuckles*

Which deadly sin are they?

After a lot of deliberation, the one that fits Ornstein the most in my mind is Pride. While he was a successful Captain of the Knights of Gwyn and thus probably highly aware of the needs of the surrounding people, he tends to think himself superior, especially when he first meets Rowena. Here is this bumbling little Undead human, dragging this sword on the ground, and she thinks she can walk into that cathedral and win against those that served their Lord under much more dire circumstances? The thought is, to him, laughable. Still, he has a fair bit to learn from her, and not about anything he expects.

Which of the seven virtues are they?

Diligence, no question about it. Does he have to be somewhere in ten minutes but with no clearly feasible way to pull it off? He’’s going to make that appointment, so help him. Did Gwynevere tell him to look after this Undead girl and make sure she lives to see the Kiln? Yes. Does he like the idea? Far from it. Will he do it anyway? As much as he likes to think he could walk away, he wouldn’t dare stray from his duty, no matter what it is. Unless something dire caused him to do so, that is.  

If confronted with the need to choose: goodness or kindness? Do they believe in a distinction between the two? (Think the Witch vs the Baker from Into the Woods.)

Kindness is a way to measure the goodness of a person. There are other factors that go into this, of course, but that is a main avenue of determining the quality of someone’s character, provided the circumstances aren’t wildly out of the ordinary. 

What do they have the least tolerance for?

When you’ve been a Captain for so long and you’ve probably overseen many other knights in addition, your tolerance for incompetence gets rather low. Hence why he has such a hard time not correcting Rowena on every little thing she does. However, he’s starting to figure out that she responds rather well to gentle prods in the right direction as opposed to harsher forms of criticism. At least then she doesn’t start showering him with insults and the occasional obscenity. 

I also like to think that his tolerance for loneliness is actually kind of low. He probably spent so long amidst the other Knights of Gwyn, and then suddenly, that company is just gone. In addition, no one really knows how well he got along with Smough. Enough to fight off the Undead that wandered into the cathedral, yes, but beyond that? Who knows? What I’m saying is, he needs more socialization and refuses to acknowledge it. You can only spend so long lost in your thoughts before the lack of company begins to change you. 

Which flaws are they aware of? Do they consciously work on them?

He’s. So. Stubborn. This is only magnified by the equally stubborn Undead he’s traveling with. He’s getting a little better about conceding to some things, but there’s still that major part of him that just sits there and says “my method is better” or something along those lines. Half of the problem is acknowledging it, though. Heaven forbid someone tries to call him out on it. 

What view/belief are they most wrong about?

I think he’s got this skewed perspective of humans. It would stand to reason, since he was basically among gods and he himself was granted a special soul. In comparison, humans are just...wow, they’re annoying and in the way. How a good chunk of them have survived this long is beyond him. The Undead Curse doesn’t help things, and he’s only further baffled by Rowena’s actions. But there’s still plenty of room for him to grow. Perhaps his view of humans will change. 

Their opinions on loyalty?

Loyalty is so important to Ornstein. If you’re sworn to a person or a task, you keep to them/it unless something catastrophic occurs to the bond. He has a few issues determining what exactly those catastrophic terms are, but it’s something he keeps in the back of his mind. Regardless, it’s a good chunk of why he didn’t stop Rowena from punching Patches into the ground. Sure, he stopped her from outright killing him, but Patches broke a bond of trust. Honestly, Ornstein would have been shocked if Rowena didn’t lash out. 

So you know their lawful/chaotic good/evil alignment. Do you want that to be a rule they function by for the entire work, or will they be challenged enough to shift into a different square?

As it stands right now, Ornstein falls under the Lawful Good square overall, in my opinion. However, it’s entirely possible (and very probable) that he will at least fluctuate between Lawful and Neutral Good, if not shift entirely. Gotta leave room for powerful knights to grow in different ways, y’know?

Unless all of your characters have devoted a lot of time to puzzling out their philosophy, no one’s perfectly consistent. How are they hypocritical? Where do they contradict themself? Will they be challenged on it?

Ornstein has a pretty solid policy on loyalty, duty, all of that. However, he likes to make it rather apparent, at least to Rowena, that he’s not enjoying this particular duty. I’m fairly certain he aspires to show some level of compassion, as well, but it falls rather short when it comes to the Undead. There’s a particular exchange that’s pointed this out already:

“Running errands for the damned, are we?”

She shot a glare at Ornstein, who was just as still at the bonfire as when she left. “They are not damned. Not if I can help them.”

“While you actions are admittedly admirable for someone of your ineptitude,” he started, “you cannot help every being you come across. You have your own quest to embark upon.”

“That doesn’t mean I have to let others suffer along the way.”

The level of suffering that the surrounding Undead are saddled with aren’t immediately apparent to Ornstein, and because of the previous Undead that have attempted to kill him, and the bonus of Rowena, he’s not as inclined to devote his energy to caring. You could say that the time he spends with Rowena challenges this point quite a bit. 

How does their personality present conflicts and challenges in their setting/story?

The fact that his goals and Rowena’s goals initially conflict presents a good amount of conflict. Neither of them want anything to do with each other, and he sees her as wildly inferior to himself. It makes working together that much harder. Their vitriol is starting to wane, but given that they’re both stubborn and have different views of the world, they’re still going to have plenty of conflict down the line. Certain circumstances will also force his hand on things that will create personal conflicts. Many, many personal conflicts. He’s going to have more issues than a tabloid stand, and he already has enough.

Alrighty, onto Rowena!

Which deadly sin are they?

Wrath. Wrath all the way. As kind and forgiving as she can be, Rowena can unleash a terrifying sort of fury. If Ornstein hadn’t stopped her, she might have flat out murdered Patches brutally. She’s sought out revenge at least one other time, not counting the times in her life before she was afflicted by the Darksign. She can be a vengeful and petty young woman when she wants to be. There’s usually some sort of reason behind it, but either the reason is childish or she takes her actions too far. It’s only gotten worse on this journey, since nearly everything and everyone is out to kill her. There’s a lot of pent up frustration that she hasn’t fully expressed, and she probably won’t admit to much more of it until later.

Which of the seven virtues are they?

Kindness. Rowena is full of compassion and empathy towards her fellow Undead, and she goes out of her way to help them, even though she has plenty on her own plate to worry about. She’ll even do small things to make others happy, like bringing them simple gifts or holding a nice conversation with them. She’s slowly learning to apply this kindness to Ornstein, but it’s a work in progress.

Side note: Kindness is apparently also considered to be one of the Knightly Virtues. Make of this what you will. 

If confronted with the need to choose: goodness or kindness? Do they believe in a distinction between the two? (Think the Witch vs the Baker from Into the Woods.)

Rowena believes that people’s actions speak more for the kind of person they are than the promises they make. Someone can tell her all they like that they’re going to be a good person, but she’s more inclined to believe them if they’ve been kind to her or someone else before. Bad actions are redeemable to a point. Then again, her tolerance for said actions has gotten considerably lower since starting her adventures...

What do they have the least tolerance for?

Cruelty. She has basically zero tolerance for people that hurt others just for the fun of it or for their personal gain. She has memories of hunting others down for doing this in her time before the Undead Curse. Seems like this has carried over to her current journey.

Rowena also can’t stand to be told what to do for very long. She’s very much accustomed to figuring things out for herself, so following strict rules and facing constant scrutiny is a huge source of stress. 

Which flaws are they aware of? Do they consciously work on them?

Rowena is painfully aware of the fact that she’s stubborn and loses track of her surroundings if she’s caught up in a whirlwind of emotion. But again, she’s spiteful to the nth degree, and she will build a fortress out of spite if she feels the situation calls for it. She’s slowly working her way out of that habit, though. No one’s going to succeed if she keeps it up, and Ornstein is pretty handy to have around. 

What view/belief are they most wrong about?

She tends to glorify the people like herself and side-eye the beings who had all of the power. In a way, it’s reasonable, considering her position and what she’s had to deal with. However, it also clouds her judgment and hinders her progress. So, she’s kind of right, but not completely right. Her protocol needs a bit of tweaking. Not everything is quite as black or white as she likes to think it is sometimes. 

Their opinions on loyalty?

Very important. It’s a subject she and Ornstein agree on. She’s been tempted to run off and ruin his duty, not to mention all of the times she’s threatened to poison him, but she doesn’t. She learns how important it is to him, so it’s one of the first signs of consideration for him when she settles into her journey with Ornstein and doesn’t run off into the void of Lordran. Besides, he’d probably find her pretty quickly. She’d get stuck in a tree or on a cliff and he would just shake his head before helping her down.

So you know their lawful/chaotic good/evil alignment. Do you want that to be a rule they function by for the entire work, or will they be challenged enough to shift into a different square?

Currently, Rowena is sitting pretty in the Chaotic Good square. Rules can and will be broken. Well, the rules that are left in this dying land, anyway. As long as it helps someone, including herself, and works towards solving the problem at hand, she’ll probably do it. However, there’s probably a few things that would occasionally dip her into the Chaotic Neutral square. For the most part, though, she’s Chaotic Good. 

Unless all of your characters have devoted a lot of time to puzzling out their philosophy, no one’s perfectly consistent. How are they hypocritical? Where do they contradict themself? Will they be challenged on it?

She preaches kindness, but has trouble going through with her own philosophy when it comes to people she’s none too keen on being around for long periods of time. Even though her anger towards Ornstein is starting to soften, she hasn’t exactly treated him well. It’s going to take a lot to rectify that attitude.

How does their personality present conflicts and challenges in their setting/story?

Her entire being creates conflict. Rowena escaped her home and wandered the world until she was snatched up and thrown in the Northern Asylum to rot for eternity. When she finally did escape, she faced a multitude of horrors. She was forced into the role of the Chosen Undead simply because no one else had really made it that far. She had nowhere else to go and not many people to trust, so she threw her faith into Frampt and rushed headlong into Anor Londo, hoping that her life would become marginally easier. Instead, she begged for Ornstein’s mercy, was saddled with said knight as a travel companion, and has to learn how to reconcile her own personality with his, lest they end up murdering each other at their earliest convenience. They’re stubborn, and she’s downright exhausted from everything she’s had to deal with, but her options are limited, and the thought of going Hollow terrifies her. She wants to end the curse, and this is the only way she knows how. It’s worth trying. Still, the thought of failure cuts at her drive. Basically, she’s a tiny bundle of fear and confusion and she’s not having a good time. Nevertheless, as frustrated and clueless as she is, she presses forward. Sitting around isn’t an option she can afford.

Welp, that’s the second Dark Souls related essay I’ve written in...three days? I don’t mind, though. It’s really fun to think about these things and write them down! Plus, I love these two a lot. 

[elysiumrp]

Congratulations VEE! You have been accepted as Jasper Pitzen. Please go through the checklist and send in your account within 24 hours. If you need more time, make sure you send a message to the main.

When it comes to a character that has so many possible ways to develop them, it’s always a strange thing when it takes a while for an application to come in for them. But there’s always a reason – the right person has to come along, and here you are. Jasper is a pivotal person to the supernatural movement, both by being somewhat of a spokesperson for them and being the first to do what he is doing. It’s always exciting to allow a person to take on the challenge of a character they aren’t used to, but both of us feel you have the chops to do so. How you described the emotions he has, beyond just being in front of a crowd and behind closed doors, it’ll be a great addition to the character development already happening. It’s the determination you show that won us over, how you grasped how he is despite Jasper not being in your comfort zone and still wanting to play him. We’re here to become better writers, and with your determination, we hope this is the place will do that for you. Welcome to Elysium!!

OOC INFO

Name: Vee Age: 23 Timezone: EST Preferred Pronouns: She / Her  Previous RP Experience: [RFP] Activity Level: About a 4. I work long hours during the week from the afternoons until early the next morning (sometimes weekends) and will have to queue replies in my free time as I won’t have access to a computer. Any asks/IMs that I might receive will be answered a day later, and I may have to plan ahead of time for events in order to participate in them (depending on the duration of them). I know I’ll be working on July 4th, so I will not be around for the beginning of the event taking place that day. Anything Else: N / A

IC INFO

Character Name: Jasper Pitzen  Why did you choose this character:

I’m going to be honest and say it: I chose Jasper out of fear. Yep, I really did. When choosing characters, I usually play it safe and go with a personality type I feel comfortable writing. Time and time again I wind up playing the same character and it’s hard to tell if I’ve actually been growing as a writer. After a while, writing was beginning to lose its enjoyment for me. I felt stuck. I tend to shy away from super-serious political or government-related type characters as I feel I don’t have the knowledge to write them convincingly–research or not. They intimidate me. Now, I’m taking a chance with this app, conquering that fear the best way I can. It’s like that saying: “you won’t know until you try,” right?

To get down to specifics, I found the contrast between the younger “party-animal” Jasper (pun intended?) with the current straight-laced activist to be very interesting. I love symbolism and foreshadowing, so those two aspects of his life give me ample room to play around a little; I get to see how deep into Jasper’s character I can go in order to breathe life into him.

Additionally, Jasper is a character who’s out in the public eye constantly, so being careful with his words is a given. That allows me to put more thought (than usual) in what I’m typing out, to make sure things make sense for the questions that may arise. Jasper’s so different from myself that the extra effort needed to make him appear polished is very crucial to me.

Describe your plan for them:

As soon as I read Jasper’s bio and connections with the other characters, I saw him as this heartless, teasing, snobby rich kid who slides on a nice face for the cameras, but isn’t above threatening another supernatural to change their ways in order to make himself look better. With words that form riddles as well as threats, Jasper has more at stake and tends to lash out because of it. He’s not a villain…though that depends on who you ask. I love that duality about him; the way his character carries so many interpretations and how he’s each and every one of them when the situation calls for it. There’s so much negativity surrounding his character from the other supernaturals that there has to more to it than “he took my job” or “he can’t be trusted.” Jasper’s actually full of self-hatred and heart that he tries to hide for the sake of staying strong for his community. And that’s something what I want to focus on down the road.

Jasper seems to be so put together that I want to see him have a breakdown. Whether it’s from losing a part of the freedom he’s working so hard to gain or getting close enough to another and losing them, I want him to feel that raw emotion he’s been pushing aside since the day his wolf gene was triggered. I want him doing something really uncharacteristic, like seeking help from another in tears.

Furthermore, throughout the course of the story, I plan on having Jasper struggling to make allies of the other characters as he’s trying to understand their dislike of him. He wants them all registered with the database system, believing his work representing them is doing them a service; it’s possible that he’s tangling the web further. I want to have him questioning his identity, his self-confidence, and what it means to be a leader. Are his motives pure or clouded over with ulterior ones? Could that change over time? If possible, I’d really love to explore that.

Describe your character’s feelings and reactions to the initial reveal of the supernatural world:

Jasper was in complete shock. As he was just coming back to everything, just getting used to hiding the supernatural side of himself, he’s suddenly pushed out into the open. Before Jasper has a chance to fully self-identify as being a werewolf and adjust to the new life in a densely-populated area as New York City, he’s alone for the first time against a world he doesn’t recognize. He chose to fade into the background as he’s done for the past few years, but that plan was ruined when he was chosen to be on the Council. Unsure of what to do with the status and reluctant to take the power, Jasper finally decides that standing out with others at his side was more likely to save his life than to go about things alone with a greater risk of being killed. There is strength in numbers; it is that strength that built the Jasper Pitzen the Council needed.

Describe your character’s feelings and reactions to the current state of the world, and how it impacts them as an individual:

When the supernatural community lost the Council again, Jasper felt as though he left with it. He clung to the Council as part of the identity he was still searching for in the time that had elapsed. He spent days moping on the couch in his apartment or the stools in various bars, watching as the same people he fought to protect run past the city limits. He began to hear whispers of an uprising on darkened streets from those who supported the Council and demanded freedom. Wanting to feel that same passion he felt within the Council, Jasper joined what is the beginning of the Resistance in hopes of saving his people. Being thrust into the spotlight because of his disappearance and now because of his previously-hidden identity had left Jasper enjoying it more than he ought to. He’s having a piece of the life he could’ve had if his inner wolf never forced him to leave. It’s as if he’s playing the part of the bachelor again, kissing up to audiences purely for entertainment. He knows he has a job to do in promoting equality, but there’s a fine line between the two that he doesn’t mind crossing from time to time.

Para Sample:

“…and that’s my goal. World peace. An innocent little wish–something said by a child at the end of a holiday movie–but its meaning has grown immensely as of late; this isn’t something to make light of. We need to act on it now. Think about it. With all the violence going on in these times, would you want the children of our future harboring such seeds of hatred? Wouldn’t it be more beneficial to pass on wisdom and love? My question to you is this: How would you like to be remembered?”

The roar of applause from the studio audience brought a grin to Jasper’s face. He snuggled deeper into the cushions of the chair he sat on, posture perfect, the very definition of confidence. The daytime host beside him nodded in approval and for a moment, everything was glorious. It was if answering that question ended the battles between supernaturals and humans. The sky would offer rays of gold, the birds would sing Pit-zen! Pit-zen…the credits would start rolling—

“And now questions from our viewers at home!” The sing-song voice of the host ended the applause, along with Jasper’s illusion. She tossed the cards in her hands over her shoulder, pulling out a new set from underneath her chair’s cushion.

Jasper’s eyes widened and his mouth fell open.

What the hell?!

The supernatural spokesman recovered quickly, however, motioning the host closer so he could whisper in her ear, “We never agreed to this!”

“My show, my rules!” The host sat back in her chair while Jasper tried masking his anger. She flipped through a few cards before landing on one with a satisfied hum. “Okay, so werewolves have lots of fur, correct? How often do you shave? And do you shave everything?”

The audience roared once more.Jasper lowered his head into his hands.

Damn those curious humans!

Ever since the supernatural world had been exposed, questions were thrown as quickly as punches. Humans who were pro-supernatural—or curious in general—wanted to know more about the lives living alongside their own. And since Jasper Pitzen was front-and-center fighting for supernatural equality, he was the target of such nonsense. He had left the show’s studio later that day to find “Pitzen is the pits” smeared on the side of his limousine in dog shit. When he arrived at his apartment complex, a woman walking her dog asked if he could translate her dog’s barking for her. To which Jasper replied “may you and your dog have a fantastic day!” He finally made it to his room’s door, where another bag of dog food was waiting for him.

Shit!

And then there was the press conference. Oh, God. The press conference. Supernatural lovers and haters alike crowded the entrance of the building. It was there that a man asked if Jasper could hear his boyfriend cheating on him from the other side of the city (as if the area around them wasn’t loud enough), some people threw trash at him, a handful of people wanted autographs (Jasper even signed someone’s ass!), and a group of women wanted him to bite them.

“Bite them.” Jasper had told his bodyguard, “They wanted me to bite them. This isn’t some teen werewolf drama on TV. This is real life. The bite is a curse.”

What made matters worse was that Jasper didn’t get flak from the humans, but from his peers and other supernaturals as well. They laughed at him, asking him random werewolf questions they already knew the answers to just to get a reaction. It amazed Jasper how they acted as if their lives weren’t on the line, as if this was one big joke. Fighting for equality was never easy; these added obstacles made things much harder.

Was anyone actually listening to him if they were laughing?

As much as Jasper loved the celebrity treatment, was it hurting his chances of repealing the very laws that bound him to a life of scrutiny? Were the humans slowly seeing him as an equal?

Some days Jasper wanted to go back to his life of partying, doing lines of cocaine and sleeping with as many people his king-sized bed could hold. Instead he was subjected to moments of sitting on the floor in the fetal position, rocking back and forth as the tears kept flowing, wishing everything would just stop.

But the world doesn’t stop for anyone. Not even Jasper Pitzen.

Any questions/concerns/things you’d like to change: (siblings to add, pronouns, sexuality you’d like to specify, personality, face claim, history, etc., etc.)

As much as I read the plot/everything on Jasper, it’ll probably take me some time to catch up on everything that has happened so far and really let it soak in.