#and lastly my bestie who doesn’t drink alcohol

[diadotcom]

i’m going to plan an afternoon for myself where i make a top gun drinking game, play it all by myself, and have the time of my life. no i will not be inviting any friends. it is me myself and i on the amazing drunk top gun journey and i am Excited.

to commemorate this decision, here’s a low quality jake hangman seresin

[slytherinbangchan]

Apado gwaenchana Chap13💖

Chap 12 💖

Masterlist

Another fave chap btw 💖

Magazine workers (enemies to lovers AU)

Warning for this chap: Mention of alcohol, kissing games etc… (parties stuff)

Fluff, smut.

Pairing: RenjunxReader (Only y/n’s actual name is ‘Skyler’ cause I love that name and that’s it but it’s still ‘y/n’ ok?) Btw I made everyone here older than they actually are cause they’re working at an office etc…

You (Skyler/BlueAbsinthe) work as an editor at an office for a magazine called ‘Fashion Killa’ along with your two besties, (Chloe/uwuBabe writer for the health and beauty department and Blair/NotARavenclaw, a photographer). And everything is fine untill you have to work along in an assesment with your ‘mortal enemies’.

(Dont mind the time on the chats I just write late at night, lol) Idk if I need to say this but I love Chenle, president Chenle forever💖, but he’s a jerk in my series, so sorry. Ily Chenle pls forgive me.

Nct members as:

Mark: Editor. Renjun: Photographer. Chenle: Editor Lucas: Model Doyoung: Model Park Jisung: Model Johnny: Model Yuta: Model Taeyong: Model Jungwoo: Model Other Idols:

Felix: As an Stray Kids member Han Jisung: As an Stray Kids member. Wonho from MX: As a model Joohoney from MX: As a model TOP from BB: As a model. Siwon from SUJU: As a model. BoA: As your boss

13.

So once again you see yourself caught up in some 'scandal' with Doyoung. Why does this happen just now? You're not even dating him anymore. You take a deep breath and leave your phone to go take a shower. Apparently there's another party at Lucas's. When are they getting bored of those parties? Why nobody has brought a karaoke machine yet? Is not like you have a great voice but that doesn't mean you don't wanna use it? Anyway, is getting late, you better hurry up or everyone is gonna be already drunk when you get there and that's not as funny as sober people pretend it is.

This is the third day in a row that there's a party and most of the people couldn't handle it. There are just a few model girls from your assessment group and Lucas, Doyoung, Johnny, Taeyong. Then there's Blair, Chloe etc, and lastly Mark, Renjun, Jisung. You go say hi to them first and then to the girls.

-How's your lizard? -Chloe asks.

-Very well, thank you. She cute.

-Skyler, you know how much I love Drarry, tell me SkyJun is sailing. -Blair says.

-What?

-Skyler! -Lucas approaches you with a drink. -You came, great. Here. -He hands you the cup. -We're about to start a drinking game. You HAVE to play. You too girls. -He looks at your friends.- I'm kinda tired of kissing guys all the time.

-I'll stay here with Wonho for tonight. But Blair will go. -Chloe says pushing her.

-Well yeah, I'll go. I'm bored anyway. -She says, following Lucas.

Blair grabs your hand and takes you to the circle too. You can see Mark doing the same to Renjun. You haven't drink enough for this. You haven't drink at all actually. So you just gulp down that cup Lucas gave you. It's terribly sweet. Must be rum or something like that. Doyoung sits by your side.

-Hey. -He says, softly.

-Hey, you.

-How are you doing?

-I'm fine. Seriously, I'll be fine as long as your fans don't know who I really am.

-Well I'm sure they'll find out so...

-Yeah... I kinda know that but I want to be happy meanwhile. -You laugh.

-Everyone! -Lucas is placing the bottle already. -Let's start this. We'll play kiss or dare. -He says spinning the bottle. It stops pointing at Mark.  -Mark. Kiss or dare.

-Hmm... Kiss.

-Okay, kiss Jisung.

-Seriously?? -He ask, while reluctantly moving towards Jisung. -What kind of kiss?

-I guess if someone choose 'kiss' just a normal kiss, not a peck but not french you know?

He sighs and proceed to kiss the maknae.

Next time bottle points to Doyoung.

-Kiss or dare? -Asks Lucas.

-Dare.

-Okay, kiss Skyler for the old times. -He smiles widely and people start 'wooing' you two.

He chuckles. -Ok, so apparently ‘dare’ means kissing too. -Doyoung says. He just kisses you anyways. It's just a peck on the cheek tho.

-Aww c'mon! -Lucas complains. -Don't do this to me everyone please. This is a party I want action. -People laugh and he spins the bottle again. It points to one of the girls from your assessment group. The one who was fixing Renjun's clothes that time at the photoshoot. -Kiss or dare?

-Kiss!

-Okay, kiss the person you like the most from this circle. You can kiss me by the way.

She giggles and looks around, then goes to Renjun and kiss him. HOW DARES SHE. Ahem... Anyways. Lucas is dissapointed cause she didn't choose him. And the cup that was in your hand is no longer a cup, now is just a crushed plastic ball.

-Here. -You look up and it's Wonho offering you another drink. -Chloe sends me. -You look behind him and she's waving at you. Then makes a sign for you to breathe and just drink the cup.

You gulp that one in too. -Finally, vodka. -You say. You're so glad all your friends actually know what drinks you like.

The bottle spins again and finally it points to you. -Kiss or dare? -Lucas asks.

-Dare. -You choose.

-Okay. I noticed you gave up half of your clothes trying not to make out with Renjun the other night so...

-I gave my other half trying not to kiss Mark. -You add.

-Well yeah but you ended up having to kiss him and you made him moan so I can't think how you could top that tonight.

You sigh kinda frustrated. Renjun kissed that other girl. You don't wanna kiss him right now. -Whatever. -You say.

-Anyway, as I was saying. Your dare is to turn Renjun on.

-What?

-I just said it.

-Yeah, but...

-We're waiting~

You sigh again and crawl to Renjun. He's visibly worried right now. You're frowning cause you're still mad. But you sit astride him and look at him in the eyes. He gulps and you kiss him briefly before going down his neck. He has closed his eyes as you bite him softly. You almost can hear his heart beat. His fingers buried in your skin as you bite his neck a little harder. You kiss your way to his ear and whisper some nasty thingys to him till he pushes you away.

-Ok, enough. -He says, blushing to another level.

You get back to your seat giggling. -So mean. -Doyoung whispers to you.

-That's nothing. -You say, laughing.

-Yeah, I know. But still... Look at him. Never seen anyone that red.

-Shut up. -You say, laughing. -Is not that bad.

It's 5am and half of the people there is falling asleep. So you and the girls decide it's time to go. Jisung has fallen asleep in Lucas's bed and Mark is about to do the same. Renjun is just there laughing at both of them.

-You go ahead. -You say to Blair. -I'm gonna say goodbye to the guys. -She nods and goes away. You hug Doyoung and tell him to go to bed too. Lastly you go to Renjun and talk to him. -Hey.

-Hey. -You're going too?

-Yeah. I'm gonna pass out for sure when I get to my bed.

He chuckles. -Yeah, me too...

-Well, you already have bed hair.

-Ah, really?

-Yeah, you look terrible. -You laugh.

-Is that so? -He asks, raising an eyebrow. -Well, thank you.

-You're welcome. That's what enemies are for, ya know. -You say, smiling. -What did you do to get that hair tho? Did you kiss that model girl again?

-She was kinda clumsy yeah. Why would I kiss her again tho?

-I don't know... -You try and fix his hair while talking. -She's pretty.

He chuckles. -Are you drunk?

-Not really, no...

-I see. Sleepy drunk then. -His voice so soft.

-Maybe? -You laugh.

Suddenly you see Jisung's sleepy eyes creeping out behind Renjun. -Hyung, let's go please. I'll take Mark.

He laughs and looks at you. -I guess it's time to go.

-Ah, yeah. Good night then. -You watch Renjun and Jisung carrying Mark out of the room, then you stand there like an idiot for a few more seconds till you decide to move and go to your room too. You crush into Renjun on your way out. -Sorry. -You apologize and then laugh a little.

-Ah, sorry I forgot something. -He says, grabbing your hand.

-What?

He starts walking then, just turning his head to answer your question and then keep going. -'You'.

You feel your face burn after that. How he dares making you blush like that. -Omg Renjun.

-What? -He chuckles.

-Can we stop pretending we are in a kdrama?

-Well I'm chinese and you're not korean either so I guess it's not a kdrama anyways.

-Ok, we live in Korea?

-We're not even there right now?

-Omg, stoop, you know what I meant. -You laugh.

He stops walking suddenly and gently pushes you to the wall, leaning over you. -Of course I know. I just love messing with you. -He then kisses you and smirk after that. -Now let's go. -He says grabbing your hand again and walking away.

You take your shoes off as soon as you enter the room. Then throw yourself in bed. You feel your eyes closing and not wanting to open again. Then you suddenly remember Renjun is right there and get up. -What are you doing? -He's standing close to the door.

-Ah... I don't know...

-Come here, you idiot. -He walks to the bed and stand there. You pull him from his shirt to make him fall into the bed with you. -Why are you just standing? -You laugh.

-Sorry, you seem exhausted just now.

-Well yeah, I am. -You say, kissing him after. -But... -You blush hard.

-Huh?

-I don't want you to go just yet... -You say, pouting. Avoiding eye contact with him.

He chuckles. Making you look at him again. -I don't wanna go either. I came back for you, remember?

-Ah yeah... I must have won over that other girl... -You say mumbling to yourself.

-What? -He laughs.

-Nothing. Come here. -You say, dragging him under the covers with you. You're shaking cause you're cold. At least you think it's only because of that. -You look cute with your bed hair now. -You say, giving him an eskimo kiss that ends up with him kissing you.

-How is my bed hair different now from earlier?

-Maybe cause you're in an actual bed... The background is appropiate.

He chuckles. -Okay. You have to be drunk.

-Nah. I'm just that stupid. -You laugh.

-Hey. Only I can call you stupid.

-No way, why??

-Cause I don't mean it.

-Oh, really? I do mean it when I call you stupid. -You say with an straight face, but you end up cracking up when you see he's actually buying it.

-Omg, I hate you. I swear. -He says, jokingly fighting you. Not being able to restrain an smile too.

-Ah...Renjun, I'm tired, I'm just gonna kiss you now. -You say, getting closer to him.

He laughs. -Yeah, I think I'm fine with that. -He ends up with the little distance left between you two. Chap12 💖 __Chap14

[jentehj]

On Lorde, Green Light and how I refound my love for pop music

I’m in love with Lorde’s new single. I’m in love with Lorde herself, really. To me, she’s an immensely strong wave of fresh air bursting through the pop genre. A genre that, if we’re honest, we all adore, but are too afraid to admit. We call Britney’s Toxic a guilty pleasure, but really, do we actually feel guilty? No. We know it’s an anthem, it’s a legendary song and we all love it and we all know it. 

But somewhere around age 13, when the hormones started kicking in and we wanted to impress the boys in 9th grade, we felt the pressure to be different. Different from other girls, because girls are superficial creatures obsessed with fake things like makeup and Lady GaGa. We weren’t allowed to like pop music, because it wasn’t real music. And so we all went through a post-punk or emo or grunge phase, because those bands had men in them, and men made real music about deep stuff - not to discredit that phase, the bands I listened to around age 14 shaped me in ways I will never forget. 

And then we were shamed for that too - because we didn’t like that music for the music, we were just in love with the singer with the incredibly sharp jawline or the bassist with the huge arms. Personally, I felt like I wasn’t allowed to just be passionate about music, because my passion would never seem real to the scrawny, penis-bearing, acne-struck creatures that were always a little too loud in class. 

Then I heard a song on the radio. It was definitely pop music, but it was different, the kind of different I’d been looking for since I found out my taste in things wasn’t good enough. Through Royals, I found out that pop music wasn’t a defined genre, it didn’t have to be “fake” or “superficial”, it was something able to engage with other genres and create something new. And it could be about real things - it didn’t have to be about trashing hotelrooms, diamond watches and jet planes. Rowan Blanchard put it into words perfectly last week: it was when I realized pop music could be poetry too. There’s always the Art Bros telling girls that pop music isn’t real, but Lorde’s music made us feel like this was for us. It was made for us to enjoy and not be shamed for. 

This made me fall in love with pop music and female musicians all over again. I discovered a few things during this phase. First, pop music is art. Pop songs are incredibly well-constructed works of art that appeal to people because of their universal meaning. While the Art Bros in 9th grade thought this to be superficial, I think it’s brilliant. When someone writes something that manages to speak to people of all ages and cultures, they’ve made something very special. Second of all, genres are bullshit. I found out that every artists is influenced by dozens of different bands and artists, even by art that isn’t music. I found out that within pop, there were tons of artists who borrowed from the other genres and artists that I liked and they all had a tiny part of me in their music, it seemed. Because of Lorde, I discovered artists like Grimes, HAIM, Chet Faker, Troye Sivan, Sky Ferreira, MO, James Blake, Banks, London Grammar, Empress Of, Florence + The Machine, and many, many more. The third thing I realized was that female musicians were badass. I fell in love with them like the 13 year old me fell in love with Alex Turner’s skilled hands. I fell in love with Alana Haim, Florence Welch, Jenny Lee Lindberg, and Ellie Rowsell, because they brought a female perspective to their music, which I connected to on a way higher level than I ever did to lyrics by male artists. 

Lastly, I refound my love for pop music. I found out that all the artists I loved when I was 11 had worked with producers and songwriters that my favorite indie hipster bands worked with as well, and vice versa. I learned about all the samples from 80s pop that were used in contemporary music and I learned that the instrumental to Rihanna’s Drunk On Love was actually The XX’s hipster-anthem Intro. Lorde’s music had reconnected me to pop music, and I wasn’t gonna call it my guilty pleasure anymore - Nelly Furtado’s Loose was just as much art as alt-J’s An Awesome Wave. I went into kind of a nostalgic phase (during this time, I also watched an extensive amount of Gossip Girl): I dug up songs that had memories attached to them, by Gwen Stefani, Britney Spears, Shakira, The Pussycat Dolls, Katy Perry, Flo-Rida, Timbaland, Beyoncé, Fergie, Kelly Clarkson, Lady Gaga, Rihanna, Justin Timberlake, and all the other stuff I knew by heart when I was 8, 9, or 10. I now feel like it doesn’t matter whether a song is real or not, whether a team of professional songwriters, producers and someone who’s very skilled at autotuning were behind it or if it was written by a guy with a guitar in a basement. All that matters is that you connect to it, or that you can have fun while listening to it, that you can dance like crazy to it and make memories to the sound of that song. 

I became obsessed with Lorde and listened to her EP on repeat in class and on the bus and at home and I saw myself in her, in her words and sounds. And that was so important to me, because until then, the pop songs I knew were about long lost love, about sex, big parties - great songs, but it was all about stuff that I didn’t relate to at all at age 14. Lorde’s music was about friends, fun, finding romance in the little things. Pure Heroine was the ultimate ode to my life, to being bored, to observing the world around you and to laughing until your ribs get tough. While 5 Seconds Of Summer was singing about how “she looks so perfect”, Lorde told me about her friends with “their skin in craters, like the moon”. It was so refreshing to hear a peer collecting the moments that were pivotal to my childhood and express them in a way I’d never heard before. 

I’ve listened to Pure Heroine so much since then, mostly while travelling or doing nothing, and it still sounds as fresh and exciting as it did in 2013. Now that Green Light has come out, I feel like I’m growing up alongside her. I was 14, she was 17 when she released Pure Heroine. It was an album about teenagers and the life they lived, a life I was only just starting to get familiar with. Now I’m 17, and Ella is 21. I moved out of my parents’ house to the biggest city in my country, I’m going to college now, I’m drinking alcohol more often than once a year on NYE, and I’m growing up. Meanwhile, Ella has travelled around the world, became besties with Taylor Swift and was crowned “The Future of Music” by none other than the late David Bowie. It’s a different kind of growing up, but it’s growing nonetheless. 

She wrote in a very impressive Facebook post that she “started to discover in a profound, scary, blood-aching way who I was when I was alone, what I did when I did things only for myself. I was reckless and graceless and terrifying and tender. I threw sprawling parties and sat in restaurants until the early hours, learning what it’s like to be an adult, even talking like one sometimes.” Again, I relate to her situation so much, even though we are in completely different situations. I, and I think many people of my age, spend much more time alone than we did in our teenage years. It’s scary and at the same time amazing to discover who you are when you’re like that. And I still feel like Lorde has this amazing connection to her generation, we all have the same feelings of fear and loneliness and euphoria sometimes, and she puts them into music. 

So when I heard Green Light, again, it felt like it was about me, like it was written for me. Sure, it’s a song about heartbreak and lost love, but for me, it’s also about letting go who you were, about finding out your true self and not wanting to leave the other you behind just yet. Because it’s scary. She manages to make a song with a theme that’s been a pop cliché since forever feel relatable, accessible, comfortable, which is the biggest strength in her songwriting. Her mind has evolved when it comes to both sound and lyrics, but that essential part of her music has stayed. I can’t wait to hear more. 

@lordemusic if you ever read this, thank you so much.

[iamandco]

  NBC/GETTY IMAGES  If you’re looking for a good laugh, watching “Parks and Rec” is always the way to go. It’s an iconic show for several reasons: Amy Schumer slays the role of Leslie Knope, feminist icon and national treasure, that must be protected at all costs. We get to see pre-Guardian’s of the Galaxy Chris Pratt star as the hilariously stupid and adorable Andy. There was Ron Swanson, Ron Swanson’s mustache and Li’l Sebastian. Parks And Rec was low-key ahead of the self-care game with #treatyoself day. And, lastly, the entire cast was freakishly obsessed with waffles (but like, same). The best part of the show was the fantastic characters and how downright hilarious and relatable they are. We all have a little bit of Leslie Knope, Tom Haverford, Ann Perkins, and others in us… and that’s why viewers love Parks and Rec. Here is some insight into each of the Parks and Rec characters and their most iconic quotes: Leslie Knope Quotes Quite possibly one of the best TV characters of all time (in my completely biased opinion), Leslie Knope is an extremely ambitious, eager, cheerful person who is always working hard at her job, which is deputy director of the Parks and Recreation department of Pawnee, Indiana.  Leslie always has energy and a huge smile on her face. She loves waffles (to the point where it’s an unhealthy obsession), celebrating Galantine’s Day with her female besties, and creating binders for everything. She definitely puts her all in everything she does, and wants everyone to have the same work ethic. Her only hilarious cons are that she’s uptight, super dramatic, and overly-competitive at times. But nonetheless, we adore Leslie Knope and the feminist icon she is. Here are our favorite parks and rec quotes, courtesy of Leslie Knope: “ I am a goddess.” “ If I had to have a stripper’s name, it would be equality.” “ Everything hurts, and I’m dying.” “ I don’t want to be overdramatic but today felt like a hundred years in hell and the absolute worst day of my life.” “ Ovaries before brovaries.” “ Why would anyone ever eat anything besides breakfast food?” “ I’m going to work until I’m 100. Then I’ll cut back to four days a week.” “ You’re the most unreasonable person I’ve ever met and I’m not going to change my mind no matter what anyone says.” Ron Swanson Quotes Ah, Ron Swanson…the legend himself. Ron has forever gone on to be one of the most iconic TV characters of all time. It’s safe to say America loves Ron, and Ron loves America—except for paying taxes and the government, which is ironic since he works for the government. He is Leslie’s boss, but let’s be real, Leslie does all the work while Ron sits at his desk and waits until he can go home. Ron is a simple man. He loves bacon, hunting, woodworking, and hates the government and happy people. 99.9 percent of the time, Ron is a cranky, overly masculine guy, but every once in a while, you’ll see his sweet side. Think of Ron Swanson as the human version of Squidward. Here are our favorite parks and rec quotes, courtesy of Ron Swanson: “ Never half-ass two things. Whole-ass one thing.” “ There will be alcohol there, so I will go as well.” “ I’m just gonna stay angry. I find that relaxes me.” “ The less I know about other people’s affairs, the happier I am. I’m not interested in caring about people. I once worked with a guy for three years and never learned his name. Best friend I ever had. We still never talk sometimes.” “ If there were more food and fewer people, this would be a perfect party.” “ I regret nothing. The end.” Tom Haverford Quotes If you need help building up your confidence, just watch Tom Haverford on this show. Tom is Tom’s biggest fan, and he lets everyone know. I mean, I guess you do have to be your biggest hypeman? Tom is Leslie’s right-hand man, and they are a hilarious duo. Tom is sarcastic, dramatic (even more so than Leslie) and very eccentric. This guy has red carpet in the soles of his shoes. Tom loves dressing up in the latest trends and is always down to pose for a photo. Here are our favorite parks and rec quotes, courtesy of Tom Haverford: “ Most people would say ‘the deets’, but I say ‘the tails’. Just another example of innovation.” “ I have never taken the high road. But I tell other people to ‘cause then there’s more room for me on the low road.” “ My usual bedtime routine: Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, Instagram till I slowly drift off.” “ Twilight is dope.” “ Call me a romantic, but by the end of the night, I will have between 1 and 4 new girlfriends.” Ann Perkins Quotes Ann Perkins is the beloved girl-next-door and Leslie’s best friend. Ann is sweet, kind, compassionate, and seems to be the only normal one in this crazy group of characters. She’s a little shy and timid at first, but definitely comes out of her shell as the seasons go by. She’s definitely the mom of the group and is always there for her friends. Here are our favorite parks and rec quotes, courtesy of Ann Perkins: “ I’m putting myself out there, meeting new people, having some casual fun and it is...awkward.” “ My body’s like a chip too.” “ Right now my gut is telling me we’re going to listen to Mariah Carey the whole way home.” “ Jogging is the worst. I know it keeps you healthy, but God, at what cost?” April Ludgate Quotes April Ludgate: The ultimate spirit animal. April is the youngest character out of the Parks and Rec gang, and is definitely the sassiest. She’s known for her dark humor, her dry wit, and her goth-like personality. April pretty much hates her job; she’s always texting or napping at her desk, and she’s always rolling her eyes when Leslie asks her to do something. Despite her seemingly tough exterior, you can tell April truly cares for her Parks and Rec family and enjoys working with them. Here are our favorite parks and rec quotes, courtesy of April Ludgate: “ I declare that everything you are saying is stupid.” “ I wasn’t listening but I strongly disagree.” “ I wasn’t listening but I strongly disagree.” “ The only things I like are dogs, sleeping late and weird birthmarks.” “ I’m going to murder you a thousand times.” “ Being a responsible adult sucks butts.” “ That’s gross. I love it.” “ Alcohol is fun and delicious.” Andy Dwyer Quotes Andy Dwyer a.k.a. America’s Sweetheart. We love Andy and how adorable he is. While he’s not the brightest, he is the kindest person ever who's always trying to put a smile on people’s faces and always sees the positives in a situation. He’s pretty clueless about everything, but one thing’s for certain, Andy Dwyer is perfect just the way he is. Also, Andy and April are #couplegoals. Here are our favorite parks and rec quotes, courtesy of Andy Dwyer: “ I have no idea what I’m doing but I know I do it really, really well.” “ Running is impossible.” “ My only plan was to buy Skittles.” “ Leslie, I typed your symptoms into the thing up here, and it says you could have network connectivity problems.” “ Dude, shut up! That is awesome sauce.” “ April, you look like an angel with no wings.” Jerry Gergich Quotes Jerry, poor old Jerry. Jerry is often the butt of jokes with the other characters and the first one to be blamed if something goes wrong. He is often ignored by his coworkers, but surprisingly, he doesn’t mind. He knows they care about him and vice versa. Jerry is quite dorky and corny; he’s the epitome of a dad who loves dad jokes. Here are our favorite parks and rec quotes, courtesy of Jerry Gergich: “ Comic sans always screams fun.” “ One can never have enough socks.” “ My marbles are full of mouth today.” Donna Meagle Quotes Donna Meagle is the sassy bestie we always wanted. Donna always keeps it real and keeps people in check. She’s pretty lowkey and keeps to herself, but knows how to be the life of the party when there is one. Here are our favorite parks and rec quotes, courtesy of Donna Meagle: “ If you don’t like how I tweet, don’t follow me.” “ Stay away from wine. Wine is crying juice.” “ Stay away from wine. Wine is crying juice.” “ Yes I am a hunter and it’s you season.” “ You better watch yourself.” “ Normally, people tell you to talk about your problems. I’m gonna recommend you bottle that noise up.” Ben Wyatt Quotes Ben Wyatt is Leslie’s coworker turned husband. He’s dorky, a little uptight, and quite paranoid over a lot of things. Leslie and Ben are great for each other; Leslie brightens up Ben’s life and Ben helps balance Leslie’s craziness. Here are our favorite parks and rec quotes, courtesy of Ben Wyatt: “ I don’t even have time to tell you how wrong you are.” “ Calc-you-later.” “ My Brita filter is older than their relationship.” “ I’m not afraid of cops. I have no reason to be. I never break any laws. Ever. Because I’m deathly afraid of cops.” Chris Traeger Quotes Chris is “lit-er-ally” the best. He’s a lot like Andy; lovable, super happy, and always positive. Although, Chris is super into health and fitness. He *casually* runs five miles a day, is always drinking kale smoothies, and loves to make his own healthy salad dressing which he brings to restaurants. One mannerism that Chris is known for is over pronouncing everything. Here are our favorite parks and rec quotes, courtesy of Chris Traeger: “ If I keep my body moving, and my mind occupied at all times, I will avoid falling into a bottomless pit of despair.” “ I am 100% certain that I am 0% sure of what I’m going to do.” “ Isn’t language fun?” “ My body is finely tuned, like a microchip.” “ I’m not lonely. I have me.” As you can see, these characters are downright hilarious and we’ll always be able to relate to them. Thankfully, “Parks and Recreation”is on Netflix, so you can binge on this hilarious show right now.