#and kie is just devastated that this is coming between them

[lydiaas]

S03E03 FATHERS AND SONSLook, I know you think you saw something up here. Or maybe you did see something. I don't know, but straight up, nothing actually happened.

[allkindfangirl]

i missed you I rafe cameron

warnings: season 3 spoilers!

pairing: rafe cameron x reader summary: in which he comes back and they're reunited

„It’s Rafe. He’s back.“ Those words coming from Sarah’s mouth were enough to make you zone out. You didn’t listen to what Kie said afterwards, you just heard the waves in your ears and your heart beating in your chest.

You hadn’t seen Rafe since he and his family left - when he left you behind. You, the only person he had trusted, the only person he had ever been in love with. Ever since he had left, there was no day where your heart didn’t hurt, where his last words didn’t rang in your ear. Your friends being away, you not knowing where they were or if they even were alive made that time the worst in your life.

„Y/n.“ Kies voice snapped you out of your thoughts. You could feel the tears in your eyes. „I- I have to see him.“

You felt Sarah’s hand on your back, both of them looking at you with a sad look. „I know.“, Sarah whispered. She knew that the love between you and her brother was one of a kind. She knew you loved him but hated a part of him for what he did to everyone around him and to you. But your friends knew that there was an invisible string between the two of you that couldn’t be destroyed.

-

You shivered as you walked up to the Cameron house, the house that once felt like home. You thought about all the times you had hung out with Sarah, then got to know Rafe and finally almost spend every day with him.

You saw the light coming from the house, meaning someone was home. Your heart beat faster as you went to the front door, knowing it was always unlocked.

You hesitated, your hand on the door knob. He was the one who had left you, and there you were back at his doorstep. You had hoped you would have enough pride for yourself, but just the thought of seeing him again, looking into his eyes, him looking at you, made you weak.

The house was silent as you stood in the hallway, your feet glued to the floor. A minute later you heard footsteps but you couldn’t move.

And there he was, standing at the end of the stairs. His hair was buzzed and his lips were parted. He was staring at you, and just like you, he didn’t move.

„Y/n.“ His voice was almost ringing in your ears, but not in a bad way. He made a step towards you, his hands reaching out for you. As he stood in front of you, his body almost touching yours, you felt the tears welling up again. Your breathing went faster, though you tried to calm yourself down. „Why didn’t you come looking for me when you got back?“, you whispered.

He flinched when he heard your voice again after all that time. He tried to stiffen up, still couldn’t believe how soft he felt whenever he was around you. „I-„ He couldn’t even get out a whole sentence. He looked down, breaking the eye contact, even though it was the last thing he wanted to do.

„I figured you didn’t wanted to see me after everything.“ His eyes looked harder when he looked at you again. You knew this was him protecting himself from showing you how much it had effected him.

"I- I'm sorry." His voice sounded softer this time, almost devastated. He was breathing faster, his hands were shaking and he started pacing around. You were used to his panic attacks. You had been there with him a lot of times, when he couldn't bare the panic and pain in his body.

"Rafe.", you said calmly. You wanted to yell at him for leaving you, for not reaching out, for not even telling you that he was okay and alive. You wanted to be the one he held, the one he gave comfort but you knew that in this moment he was the one needing it from you.

He always seemed like a tough guy, being aggressive, obsessive but he wasn't like that on the inside. He was broken, he couldn't deal with the pain he always felt, the feeling of not being enough.

"It's okay. I'm here." You took a step towards him, until your hand reached his arm. You felt his warm skin against yours. He was still shaking and breathing heavily, his eyes being wide open.

"Come here." You slowly wrapped your arms around him, bringing his body against yours. Rafe felt the relief as soon as he felt your body against his. His quiet sobs made your heart ache, so you pulled him closer.

"I missed you so much."

- just a little blurb, hope you liked it.

my masterlist

[missmouse43]

Ok the shipping goggles are officially ON (are they ever off?) but here’s my theory involving several of the bts pics we’ve gotten so far.

What if since getting back to obx Kiara has been doing everything she can to appease her parents, including spending more time away from the Pogues, and Anna and Mike have been really happy with her. Things are going well. It feels like their family is starting to mend. But then. The anniversary party happens.

We know that some sort of fight is going to break out between John B and Topper that JJ potentially gets involved in (or my personal hc that JJ actually tries to STOP the fight because he knows how important this all is to Kiara but obviously it doesn’t work) Maybe the angsty Jiara fence conversation ends with Kiara asking JJ to leave the party because she’s scared things might get screwed up for her? And that’s why he looks so disappointed and she looks guilty?

So what if Mike and Anna blame Kiara for her friends ruining their party and it’s kind of the final straw that pushes them to decide to send her away to Blue Ridge and Kiara is absolutely devastated by this.

All the Pogues find out and THAT’S the reason JJ goes to see Kie’s parents? To try and reason with them?? And talk about how much they need her??? How much HE needs her?!?!? (This is where the “do you know how special your daughter is?” parallel comes in) And maybe Kie’s parents tell her “that Maybank boy” came to try and change their minds about sending her away and Kiara is just FLOORED by it????

We know that Bailey and JD were filming around the same time so bonus points if just for the added drama of it all somehow Kiara and Pope overhear JJ’s jumbled yet impassioned speech making Pope realize “Oh shit. He really does love her.” And Kiara realize “Oh shit. I really do love him.”

This is my wildest fantasy theory but GOD the potential is KILLING ME

[favefandomimagines]

Why Did You Do It? (r.c.)

Summary: you find out that Rafe gave the Rolex you gifted him as collateral for Barry and that was the last straw for you. 

AN: again, this is not entirely canon Rafe. there’s no murder or the assault on Pope. The only canon thing about him is the drug problem (: 

It was no secret that you and Rafe were the power couple of the OBX. No one would even attempt to get with you or get with him in fear of the other coming to their defense. 

Though the pressures Rafe faced from his father was a constant point of contension in your relationship. So much so, you knew that when Rafe stormed into your bedroom and began pacing, it was best to let him get it out before even trying to calm him down. 

But Rafe was dead set on making sure that you stayed in his life. Obviously because he loved you and he felt that you brought out the best version of him, but also because you were the only thing his father thinks he’s done right. 

You slowly began to hear the rumors that were going around the island. That Rafe was getting into hard drugs and started to lash out more at the Pogues. Confrontation wasn’t Rafe’s strong suit but you didn’t want to be with someone who turned to drugs to cope. 

The night of your first confrontation, you apprehensively entered the large house and practically ran into Ward. 

“Oh, hi, Mr. Cameron.” You greeted him. “Hello, Y/N. It’s good to see you. Rafe’s in his room. Probably thinking of what he can mess up next.” Ward said, clearly a jab at his son. 

You ignored the irritation that you felt hearing him say that. You gave him a small smile before treating up the staircase towards Rafe’s room. The door was partially open and you saw him sitting at his desk, doing stuff on his laptop. 

“Knock, knock.” You announced. “Hey, baby. I didn’t know you were coming by today.” Rafe greeted you, looking over his shoulder. “Uh, yeah I just wanted to stop by. See what you were up to today.” You explained. 

“Probably golf with Topper and Kelce. Kelce is having a party at his house tonight so maybe you and I would stop by.” Rafe said. 

At that point, you knew you just had to be straight forward and confront him about the things you’ve heard. “Rafe, can I talk to you about something?” You asked, moving to sit on his bed. “Of course you can.” He said, still clicking on his computer. 

“I’ve been hearing some stuff recently. That you’ve been going to the Cut to get drugs from Barry.” You said. “Is it true?” You questioned. “Where have you been hearing this?” Rafe asked you. By that point, he had completely turned around to face you. 

“It’s been going around, Rafe. Sarah texted me, saying I should probably talk to you about it.” You answered. “Y/N, I would never lie to you. I’m not going to the Cut for drugs. Why would I even want to take drugs?” He asked. “I don’t know. To forget about your dad and his constant pressure on you.” You said. 

“I don’t need drugs to help me escape from my dad. I have you and you are the only thing I need to make me feel happy.” He told you. 

Of course you believed him. He had never given you a reason to not trust him before. You nodded your head as he got up and placed a kiss on the top of your head. 

Your second suspicion that something was wrong, was at a party Topper was throwing. You and Rafe had shown up together as per usual but at one point in the night, you had gotten separated. 

You were talking with Sarah when Rafe came turning the corner, seeming to be too hyped up about a local party. “Hey baby! I was wondering where you snuck off to.” He said, sliding his arm around your waist. 

“I’ve been wondering the same thing.” You said, looking up at him. And when you did, you noticed some white powder on his face. You furrowed your eyebrows and raised your hand to wipe it off. 

Rafe’s smile faltered slightly but he recovered quite well. The only person who seemed to still be dwelling on it was you. 

“Rafe, where were you?” You asked. “I was with Kelce, he wanted to do a keg stand.” He answered casually. “Promise that’s all that happened?” You questioned. “I promise. I wouldn’t break a promise, you know that.” Rafe told you. 

He kissed your lips sweetly and then the two of you enjoyed the rest of your time at the party. 

After that, you ignored all of the rumors your friends were telling you about Rafe selling them cocaine. You trusted Rafe and why would you listen to other people over him? 

That was until you went to drive Kiara to John B’s since her car had a flat tire. You were friends with Kie and didn’t mind the people she hung out with. You were good to them so they were good to you in return. 

You pulled up to the house and she hopped out as JJ ran to your rolled down window. “Hey, JJ. What’s up?” You asked him. “Uh, did you ever give Rafe a Rolex with an engraving of a date on the back?” He questioned you. 

“Uh, yeah, why?” You pushed. JJ didn’t say anything but fish the watch out of his shorts pocket. “Where did you get this?” You asked as he handed it to you. “He gave it to Barry for collateral. My dad stole it while he was there for a fix and I found it on the table when he passed out this morning.” JJ explained. 

You looked down at the watch as Kie and JJ looked at you with both pity and anger for you. “I’ll see you guys later.” You muttered before peeling out of the driveway. 

Sarah had told you that Rafe was at Topper’s and you probably broke a few laws trying to get there as quickly as possible. You pulled up and could hear the music coming from the porch.

You didn’t think you could be so angry at Rafe until that moment. The Rolex was a gift you had given him on your two year anniversary. It was the first thing you had given him with the money you earned teaching surf lessons, so it meant a lot to give it to him. You only thought it meant the same to him, but clearly it hadn’t. 

“Why’d you do it?” You questioned, causing the three boys to turn around and face you. “What?” Rafe asked with a small laugh. You held up the watch and you saw guilt wash over your boyfriend’s face as he looked at the object in your hands. 

“Want to try to lie to me again?” You sneered. “Y/N,” He started. “No, Rafe. Not only did you lie to me when I asked you if you were getting drugs, you gave Barry your watch as collateral for cocaine. You lied to my face and made me look like the biggest idiot in this entire town.” You snapped. 

“Baby, you don’t understand.” Rafe said, moving to approach you. “What’s there to understand, Rafe?” You yelled, tears slowly starting to cloud your vision. “You lied to me. You promised me. And you clearly don’t care or you would’ve fessed up the first time I asked you.” You added. “So you can take the watch for collateral and you can never speak to me again.” You finished, shoving the watch into his chest until he took it. 

“Please, Y/N, don’t do this. I can’t lose you.” He pleaded. “You lost me the second you lied to me.” You muttered, wiping the tears off your cheeks and retreating back to your car. 

__

It had been a couple of weeks since you had broken up with Rafe and word went around like a forest fire. Sarah was your closest friend, so she opted on staying at your house for the duration of those couple of weeks. Just going home to get new clothes and tell Ward she was alive. 

As she was getting an outfit for a Boneyard party that night, Rafe stopped in her doorway. 

“Are you still staying at Y/N’s?” He asked her. “Yeah.” Sarah answered plainly. “How is she? Is she okay?” Rafe questioned. “Is she okay? Seriously? She’s devastated, Rafe. You broke her trust and lied to her. She didn’t love you so much, she’d probably be fine.” Sarah answered. 

“If she loved me so much, she wouldn’t have broken up with me.” Rafe replied, just out of pure frustration. Not frustration with you but with himself because it was his own fault.

“If you loved her as much as you claimed you do, you would’ve been honest with her. Instead of making her butt of every joke for months.” Sarah rebutted. She zipped her bag closed and pushed past her older brother. Leaving him there to regret his actions even more. 

Rafe looked down at the watch on his wrist and groaned angrily. He had to get you back but he just didn’t know how.

Later that evening, Sarah had to drag you to the Boneyard to the party the Pogues were throwing. You obviously weren’t in the party mood but Sarah was very persuasive.

You were stood with the Pogues as you bobbed slightly to the music that was playing. John B could see that your mind was a million miles away from the Boneyard. 

“You okay?” He asked you. You gave him a tight lipped smiled and nodded your head, looking at the contents of the plastic cup in your hand. “I know you better than that, Y/N. It’s about Rafe isn’t it?” John B questioned. 

He could see your face distort into something he couldn’t quite comprehend. “Y/N, what he did was fucked up. I know that, you know that, and I’m sure he knows that. Because when you were with him he laid off of us and he was actually tolerable. He doesn’t deserve your forgiveness but maybe it would be good for you to listen to him. If not to understand but maybe to get closure so you can move on.” John B told you. 

You hated to admit that he was right but he was. If it wasn’t going to fix things between the two of you, talking to Rafe would give you the closure you needed to move on. 

You excused yourself from your friends as you wandered to find Rafe but luck wasn’t on your side. 

“Topper, where’s Rafe?” You asked the blonde. “I think he’s by the keg.” Topper answered. You were about to go towards that direction when Topper stopped you. “Look, I know what he did was bad but he really loves you. If that’s worth anything.” He told you. 

You just gave him a curt nod before walking towards the keg. 

Rafe was leaning against the table, staring at his feet until he heard footsteps approaching. He looked up and saw you standing a few feet away from him. Rafe could tell you were uncomfortable by the way you shifted weight from one foot to the other.

“H-Hey.” He stammered. “Hi. We, uh, need to talk.” You spoke. Rafe gave you a nod and gestured for the two of you to step away from the music and people.

“I miss you.” He said. “Why’d you lie to me?” You questioned, not even registering what he just said.

Rafe swallowed the lump in his throat as he ran a hand through his hair.

“I lied to you because I knew you’d be disappointed in me. You wouldn’t see me anymore, you’d see your boyfriend the guy who does cocaine. I didn’t want you to look at me like the way you are right now.” He answered. “And what about the watch? I worked so hard to give you that and you just, gave it away.” You said.

“I know, it was a mistake. I just supposed to sell the coke for extra cash and I would’ve gotten the watch back. My dad’s been on my ass about money for stuff around the house and I just panicked.” Rafe said. “That’s not an excuse for you lying to me. We aren’t supposed to lie to each other, you don’t lie to the person you love, Rafe.” You told him. 

“I’m so sorry, Y/N. I-I just wanted to forget about my dad. You were right, I was doing it to cope. And I felt like if I talked to you, you would leave because you’d just see me as incapable of taking care of you.” He said. 

You sighed and looked from him to the cup in your hand. “You’ve always taken care of me. You always have, but you can’t lie to me and keep things from me. That’s not what we do.” You told him. 

“Can you ever forgive me? I-I paid Barry back and I haven’t stepped foot there since you left me.” Rafe pleaded. 

You were quiet and hesitant for a moment, wanting so bad to be strong and not give in. But you loved Rafe even if he did make many mistakes. It was hard to just give all of the good up just for a really bad thing. 

“You have one more chance. Do anything like this again, and I’m gone.” You finally spoke. “I promise, I will not lie or keep things from you again.” He said. 

He walked towards you hesitantly, almost as if he were asking for permission to come closer to you. You nodded your head and he quickly engulfed you in his arms.

“I love you, I hope you know that.” You whispered. “I love you too. I always will.” Rafe said back.

It of course took time for you to full trust Rafe again but over time, he learned to heal and you found yourself trusting him again.

[malfoyfarms]

Grow Up

“More john b!” -user1019748

“John b x reader, please?” -nonnie

“John B needed!” -nonnie

Pairing: John B x Maybank!Reader (mainly), JJ Maybank x YoungerSister!Reader (ish)

Word Count: 1282

Trigger/Warnings: swearing, sadness

A/N: I’ve come to realize I never state directly in the writing whether or not you are actually dating John, so I guess it’s open for you as the reader to decide whether this is an older brother influence, or a romantic interest with John. I see it more as an unspoken “They’re together,” type of thing but if you want me to write with more of a clear where they stand aspect lmk. 

It had been dusk, and you didn’t know where your older brother had been, or what he had been up to, but you wanted to know why two grown men were chasing after you. JJ, or your father,  had obviously done something to piss them off, making you the inevitable target of choice. Take the baby bear to get the big bear. The unpredictable behavior of his was starting to become an issue.

You had finally made it to John B’s, where you hoped to find your brother. You opened the door catching many faces off guard, but not seeing the face that has caused your problems. 

“Where the fuck is my dumbass brother,” you seethed. “I’m gonna fucking kill him.” You grabbed the nearest heavy object and walked towards the front door. 

“Woah woah woah, Y/N, calm down,” Kie said as she grabbed your shoulders, trying to slow down another Maybank rage. 

“He’s so fucking careless! I haven’t seen him in days, I just got chased by two men with automatic weapons through the woods, and I tried to buy myself some food today and that fucking cocaine dealer was waiting for me!” you sobbed, dropping the paper weight to the floor, your body going with it. “I’m so, so tired of living in fear because my goddamn brother and father can’t get it together!” 

John B walked over to you, picking up the paperweight, and wiping the tears from your eyes. “J-John, I haven’t been home in four days because there are men in my house!” 

“Kie, go grab the blanket off the spare bed. Pope, look out for JJ,” John directed them. Kiara wrapped you in the blanket, and John pulled you closer. You gripped on his shirt as he tried to console you.  

The way you clung to John B, revealed how devastating JJ’s actions were to you. The grip you held on his shoulders made your knuckles turn white. Your long blonde hair was ratty, fingernails chewed down so far your fingers were swollen, and the cuts up and down your arms, presumably from running through the marsh and woods. 

“Y/N, don’t you worry, we won’t let anyone hurt you,” John mused. He picked you up and walked towards his bedroom.

“You shouldn’t have to protect me, that’s the issue,” you sobbed. You were crying so hard, and breathing so quickly that you were inducing yourself with panic. 

John pressed his lips to your forehead and asked you to mimic his breathing. While trying to hold back the sobs, they quickly turned into gags. 

“Kie, I’m gonna need a trash can,” he yelled out to his friend who was in the living room. She came running in just in time for you to throw up the little contents of your stomach. “Y/N, we’re all here to protect you. Whether JJ can step up to the plate or not, we are here to help.”

John B sat there holding your hand, as he tapped little sequences into the dorsal side of your hand. When you were younger, the two of you had derived a secret code to be able to communicate without speaking. 3 taps, over and over and over. He was trying to signify affection. You responded with 3 weak taps. It was almost as if JB could feel your sadness. You had lost your best friend. JJ was all you had. You had always been the more mild mannered sibling of the two, constantly being the optimistic one. At the same time you shared characteristics. If anyone thought JJ was loyal to who he cared about, you were another level of protective. That was what made you so upset about your brother. Not only would you be concerned for any of the pogues if they were in JJ’s position, but the bond shared between the Maybanks was unimaginable. 

“John B, I don’t know how to save him, he’s so lost. He takes the beatings my dad has for me so I don’t have to. He needs help.” John Booker Routledge had never felt his heart sink further down in his chest before. 

He sat up a little straighter and pulled you out from the crook of his neck. He kissed the tip of your snotty nose, and pulled the hair out of your face. “We’ll save him I promise,” and with that he placed a kiss on your lips.

Just as John had gotten your sobs to soften, everyone turned at the sound of the screen door opening. Your heart rate increased and more tears came to your eyes as you saw the male version of yourself standing in the doorway. For once he was completely sober. JJ looked sleep deprived and his brows were creased at all the attention on him.

“You have some explaining to do,” Kiara stated curtly. “You need to pull that head out of your ass.”

JJ’s ears picked up familiar sobs, and quickly disregarded Kie’s statement. When he pushed open the door to John’s room he saw red. You meant everything JJ, and he was ready for war. 

“Oh, Y/N” he went to rub your head never imagining your response. 

“Don’t you dare touch me!” you pulled back from him, digging deeper into John B’s chest. Here you were, breaking a second boy’s heart tonight. 

“Who made her this upset?” he spat. He ripped his hat off, throwing it on the ground. “John, tell me!”

“You.” JJ’s face turned into confusion. “You did. She was chased by men with guns, her food was stolen by that drug dealer you robbed, and most importantly you didn’t even let her know where you were.” 

It was now that JJ could see all the damage he had done to the one person he swore to protect. Your little blue eyes were now swollen shut and red, shaking body from all the crying, and he connected the dots that the trashcan full of vomit was from you. The scene before him was too much. He left the bedroom and was met with angry faces.

“J, you need to get it together, man,” Pope said, going into the room to give you water.

“JJ, I don’t mean to be harsh on you, but that girl in there needs you. You are the only family she has, and the closest thing to a father. Grow up and go be the big brother she needs,” Kiara said, spinning him around back to the source of commotion. 

“Y/N/N, come here,” he lent down to eye level, trying to find your eyes. 

“No, I want John B,” with those words JJ turned around and walked to go find Kie and Pope. 

Once JJ had left the room you instantly relaxed and melted in John B’s form. “Can I sleep here?” 

“I would never turn you down,” he replied. “Just know I’m always here.” The both of you laid there for a while, tapping various sequences on your back and his chest. To your surprise, John B had fallen asleep first, legs and arms still tangled within your own. 

You scooted up his body just a tad, placing tiny kisses on his jaw, slowly moving towards behind his ear. He slowly fluttered his eyes open, turning toward the feeling of being touched. He responded to your advances with sloppy, open mouth kisses. His hands were brought up to cradle your face, deepening the kiss even further. Your hands went down to unbutton his shorts when he stopped you. 

“Look, you’ve had a long day, we can continue this when you’re in the right mind. And when your brother’s not in the next room over.”

[tweedlydumbtweedlydoo]

History (JJ Maybank x reader) pt. 1

Summary: You and JJ have history together; you two were high school sweet hearts until your father decided to take a new job across the country. It is not until 8 years later you find yourself back at the island, what will happen between the two of you? 

A/N: This is another short little mini series i’ve decided to start. I’ve actually had this first part in my drafts for maybe a month?? It will probably only be 3 parts but we shall see.

 The Best of Me by Nicholas Sparks was the inspiration behind this new fic. I know a lot write about the younger pogues, but I decided to skip some years where they are all adults. 

 I hope you guys like it!! xx Please leave feedback/thoughts on this! :) 

Tag list is at the end. Let me know if you want to be added xx

**MASTERLIST**

Requests: OPEN {CLOSED}

** Who I Write For **

********************************************************************************************NOT MY GIF, CREDIT TO OWNERS

You were high school sweethearts, but best friends since elementary school first. Inseparable even with the different lifestyle. JJ Maybank was from the poor side of the island, the cut, and you were on the rich side of the island, Figure 8. However, due to the location of your home, the two of you attended the same elementary school and that’s where you two met and became best friends. Then years later, the two of you found love with each other.

 You father had signed a 10 year contract that brought his work to the Outer Banks. You were terrified of the new place, only 7 and small. You didn’t know anyone as your parents led you through the colorful hallway of the school and into your new classroom. Your hair was braided into two pig tails, a pink backpack on your back and a matching lunch box in your hand. Your new teacher introduced herself, then your parents left you in the room. As the class began to fill, a small boy took a seat next to you. The one who would soon become your best friend, your protector and later your lover. 

~

Ten years later, the two of you would experience the most difficult decision. Your father had been offered another job and would be moving off the island and across the country. He holds you in his arms as you cry, trying not to cry himself. You’d come straight to his house after hearing the news from your father. “Don’t cry baby… it’s okay..” His arms tightened around you. 

“it’s not okay! We’re moving across the country.” You pulled away to look at him, “What are we going to do? What’s going to happen to us?” Your eyes are red and puffy, tears streaming down your cheeks. 

He pushes a piece of hair off your cheek and behind your ear, “I don’t know baby.”

“We can.. we can do the long distance, right?” You look up at him hopeful, “I mean we’ll talk all the time. We can skype and then I can come visit or you can come visit on the weekends.”

 Both of you would be starting college soon, living separate lives. Would the two of you find time for each other? He wants you to succeed, to have fun in college. He wants you happy. He was probably never going to make anything of himself, but he knew you would. You deserved a man who could provide and give you anything you needed. Something he couldn’t give you.

 “Maybe.. maybe we should just part ways.” He sadly whispers. He can see your eyes change from hopeful to sad in seconds. That was not what you expected him to say. You were hoping for a yeah of course baby. We’ll talk all the time. I’ll come visit or you can come to visit. You suddenly feel angry that he could even suggest that instead of fighting for the two of you. You pull away from him, standing up straight, “Fine.”

“I just.. y/n I want you to be happy. I want you to enjoy life and if it means I’m not a part of that then okay. It was only a suggestion.” He sighs. 

You shake your head, “No I understand. This is goodbye then.”

 “I don’t want to end on bad terms.” He reaches for you, but you pull away, “y/n. Come on.”

 “Goodbye.” You whisper before turning around and walking out the door. That was the last time you ever spoke or even saw him again.

 ~ 8 years later ~ 

You never expected you would be standing on this ferry heading back to the place you wanted to forget. However, your parents had made their move back to the island after your father had retired a few months ago. 

Your hands gripped the railing of the ferry as the dock came into view. 

“You okay?”

 You look up at your fiancé, Chris as he places a hand on your back. 

You force a smile, nodding, “Yeah, just ready to get off the ferry is all.”

He kisses your head, “Me too. I’m in need of a nap.” He chuckles. There was a reason you were heading back to the island. In a week, you would be marrying your fiancé; the “love of your life.”

~ 

JJ Maybank points at the blueprints, showing his workers what’s going where. He’d made something of himself. He hadn’t attended college as planned. He ended up getting a job in construction and was now the owner of his own company. He had become one of the kooks. He’d come from the cut to figure 8, living a life he’d always wanted. However, he felt empty even with everything good in his life. He felt like something was missing. More like someone was missing. 

“Did you hear who is back in town?” John B asked.

 “We saw her in town this morning.” Pope adds, looking at JJ.

 JJ takes a bite of his food. They’d arrived at the Wreck for dinner a little bit ago. It was still afloat even after all these years. Kie ended up taking over the business and opened a few more restaurants around the island. Her business was booming. She’d married a lovely woman a few years ago that helped her keep business afloat. 

John B was working his own fishing boat and was making good money. He was dating the long time girlfriend, Sarah Cameron. He’d be proposing soon, just needed to find the right time. 

Pope was the local coroner and married to a lovely woman he’d met in college. They were trying for a baby. Somehow everyone found their ways back to the island and instead of living life as pogues on the cut, they were living the kook life. Something neither of them ever imagined. 

“Who?” JJ asks, wiping his mouth. He really had no clue, nor did he really care. It was probably one of John B’s girls from high school or some touron girl JJ had a fling with summers ago.

 “Y/n.” Pope says, and it feels like JJ’s seat had been kicked out from under him. It had been 10 years since he’d seen you, since he’d let you go. He never once tried to get in touch with you. It was for your own good. He wanted the best for you and if it meant without him, he was willing to do it. It doesn’t mean he wasn’t heartbroken. He was devastated. He’d kept himself locked in John B’s spare bedroom for weeks before he finally made an appearance. Since then he’d worked himself almost to death to keep his mind occupied. 

“I heard her parents moved back to the island a couple weeks ago. Her father retired.” John B adds.

 JJ brushes it off like it was nothing, “Really? That’s great.”

 John B and Pope exchange glances, “That’s all you have to say?” Pope asks. 

JJ looks up at his friends, “What do you want me to say? I mean I broke her heart. I’ve moved on and I’m sure she has too.” 

John B and Pope exchange another glance. They’d seen you had moved on, a nice-looking man on your arm.

“She’s moved on...” Pope says. 

JJ acts like he’s not surprised, “Good for her. She deserves to be happy.” 

“They’re getting married this week.” John B adds. “Sarah... is the one planning the wedding. Apparently, her parents are arranging everything and called Sarah’s company to plan it.” 

JJ’s quiet as he takes another bite of his food. He wasn’t surprised about the fact you’d be getting married. It hurt in all honesty. The fact it wouldn’t be him standing next to you, saying I do, but he’d lost that chance years ago and it was all his fault. 

“Congrats to her.” He mutters, sipping on his beer. He decides he doesn’t want to talk about you anymore and changes the subject, “Pope, how’s the lady doing at home?” 

~ 

Your fiancé, Chris, holds your hand as he drives down the main road. You gaze out the window. Nothing much had changed. There were a few new stores, some of the old ones gone. You see the Wreck up ahead and smile to yourself. It was still there, even after all these years. It was your favorite place on the whole island. 

Your breath hitches in your throat as you see that familiar blonde walk out of the front door. John B and Pope following behind. He throws his head back in laughter and you feel your heart is about to drop out of your chest. He still looked the same he did 8 years ago. You can’t help but let your head turn back to see him once more as Chris drives passed the restaurant.

 ~

 When you arrive to your parent’s home, the place is a mess. There are people all around, carrying table and chairs, décor, and a white tent being put up in the back yard, facing the water. 

You stepped out of your car and you notice a long blonde-haired woman standing in the midst of it all. That looked a lot like.. “Sarah Cameron?” 

She faces you and she looks the same she did when you’d left. Of course, she did. Her eyes light up, “Y/n!” She hurries to you, clipboard in hand and pulls you into a hug.

 “What are you doing here?” You ask, surprised to see her of all people. She pulls away to look at you, “Didn’t your mother tell you? She hired my company to plan your wedding.”

 “Oh wow, no she didn’t mention a thing.. Well, how are you doing? Married with kids? Dating someone?” You laugh a little.

 She smiles, “Me and John B are still going strong.” 

“oh that’s wonderful.” You smile, “I knew you two would..” 

She turns around to see someone carrying something off to the wrong place, “I’m sorry, excuse me.” She quickly rushes to them, giving them orders. 

Who would have thought John B and Sarah would be the couple to make it? You’d always expected it to be you and JJ… 

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[lydiaas]

on the topic of jj being self-sacrificing, in the heist episode in s3, when he does his motorcycle cop diversion chase, kie says “oh he’s trying to get killed,” which struck me as something totally different than like “oh he’s going to get himself killed!” or something like that….tbh to me it sounded like she immediately clocked that he has gone to a self-destructive place and is doing what makes sense in his mind: treating his life as worthless in order to prove his love/loyalty/worth.

and not even just that, i think because she’s gotten so close to him and understands him so well, she realizes that it’s not just him recklessly/thoughtlessly throwing himself in harms way, this time it’s him actually purposefully trying to get killed. coming back to the island, facing how alone he is and his panic from 3x04, mike’s bullshit, kie finding the money clip, it’s all piled up in his mind, and this is where he has gone. and to me, that’s so much more devastating than him just feeling worthless.

Ooo this is an interesting take! I think that the line between JJ being reckless and actively trying to get killed is a thin one. So while I don't think he has any suicidal ideation I also think the idea of dying to give his friends the chance to escape isn't scary to him. It would be like fulfilling his purpose. Lara wrote an amazing piece about this here.

That's a great point about that line from Kie. You could definitely interpret it as more of a comment on his mental state at that moment. It's clear earlier in the episode that she recognises how he's spiralling and she's trying to get him to see that ("you're giving them a reason"). For him to do something so dangerous straight after that it's hard not to see how she wouldn't have been terrified that he's about to throw his life away. To have those two self destructive moments back to back is what causes her to finally say "don't ever do that again". Because we've seen Kie react to his actions before but it's never been in that way. It's a wake up call for him but also for her as well. Where she realises how deeply he would ruin himself if she let's him and how little regard he had for his own life.