#and kakashi desperately wants the truth no matter how grim it is

[equill]

I’m alive within a fake world.

(I like the sketches :>)

[sunnywritesstuff34]

Illusions

(Yayyyy. Another one. It’s been a while, sorry. just wanna preface this by saying that like... I usually don’t really give a shit about Obito, but I figured this was a natural progression of the story and I kinda wanted to try and dive into Obito’s psyche a little so. here we go. tell me what you think. @ghostjellyfishheart here’s the next chapter lol. pls mind the tw’s)

TW and CW for: MAJOR UNREALITY, seriously stay safe, Obito is kinda spiraling a lot, grieving, struggling with morality, drinking, alcohol, less then stellar coping mechanisms of all kinds, don’t do this kids, child death, ghost child, dead kid, you don’t like... see her die but Rin is very much not alive, references to suicide, implied suicide, the uchiha massacre is its own warning, murder, its bad. its just. its just bad. did I mention unreality? a lot of that, death of a family member, obito is having a hard time with feelings, probably dis@ssociation, pretentious symbolism, scratch that, definitely dis@ssociation

Obito Uchiha is upset. 

And that is, frankly, ridiculous. Obito does not get upset. What does upset even mean? Is he sad? Mourning, perhaps? Or is he just worried? Either way, its borderline impossible. He shouldn’t be feeling anything. Obito doesn’t feel anything. Sure, he plays at it, when he’s Tobi. He feigns and pretends, he’s good at that. That is what he is, that is all he is. To Itachi, he is Madara. To Konan and Nagito, he is Obito. To everyone else, he is Tobi. Obito has taken on mask after mask after mask on in his life, both figuratively and literally. Sometimes he doesn't know where Obito ends and another begins. Obito does not feel anything, not for anyone that isn't Rin. Never for anyone that isn't Rin, and he left her behind a long time ago. And yet this boy, this child, has him reeling somehow. Has him… well, like before, the only word he can use is upset. He is rattled. And it has been so long, so long since he’s felt anything at all, that he doesn't know what to do. He doesn't know how to fix it. He kept seeing Sasuke in his head, kept remembering memories from years ago when he thought about the kid being gone forever. He remembered the first few years Itachi brought Sasuke to the compound, he remembered spontaneously discovering his obsession with tomatoes by accident with Kisame (who would not stop laughing. He had just never seen anybody. Put an entire tomato in their mouth. And Sasuke did it like it was the most natural thing in the world! Kisame wouldn't shut up about it for at least a week). He remembered helping the boy train with his newly forged chokuto, he remembered the grim determination towards his family and how much it reminded Obito of himself, he remembered all of it. And none of that should have mattered, because it wasn't real. None of it was real, the next world would be. The next world with Rin and Kakashi and Minato-sensei still alive, a world without… without Sasuke. Or any of the other Akatsuki. And that was what he wanted. He was sure that was what he wanted. Only in his room could he show the weakness tightly coiled in his stomach. But there was a knock on his door and it made him straighten up, instantly putting the mask that he just took off back on his face. He walked to the door and opened it, only to find the older Uchiha brother staring back at him. Obito blinked. 

“Itachi-san. What are you… what are you doing here? I- uh… come in.” Obito and Itachi sat down at the small table in Obito’s room and stared at each other awkwardly. “So… how can I help you?” Obito tried to ask, unsure of whether to say it like Tobi or just let his guard down and talk like himself (whoever that was). Itachi cleared his throat. 

“You are the only person in this godforsaken place that has sake that's worth a damn,” Itachi explained calmly. He looked away. “It has… been a long week.” Obito could tell the truth in that statement just from his cousin’s voice. Itachi sounded exhausted, and the perpetual mask of indifference had begun to slip when his little brother went missing. The two of them looked at each other and came to an understanding. For the next few minutes, there was no talking. Obito grabbed some glasses and poured his strongest sake out for the both of them, and they drank in silence. They only actually picked up a conversation once they were both drunk enough for the awkwardness to melt away. 

“He’s likely not dead,” Obito commented bluntly. Itachi only sighed. 

“If he is, I have no idea what I'd do,” Itachi grumbled casually, like it was an ordinary thing to say. “Certainly wouldn't stick around here. Probably follow in Shisui’s footsteps.” Obito only nodded, knowing better than to pry on that particular bit of insight into Itachi’s life. They were silent for a few more minutes before Obito spoke again. 

“The massacre,” Obito started. “I was long gone by the time it happened. What… are you and Sasuke really the only survivors as the rumors say?” Itachi nodded, throwing back another glass. Obito thought about that bitterly, about his grandmother who wouldn't have been spared. Itachi sighed. 

“Right. I've never really talked about this with anyone, and Sasuke and I don't speak about it much. You know how sharingan awakening works, yes?” Obito nodded, mind involuntarily flashing to his own experience. 

“Well I made some genuine friends on my genin team. It was the first time I ever had any friends.” Obito closed his eyes and took another sip. Friends, sharingan awakening. Being crushed under a boulder with your crying teammates looming over you. Thinking, no, don't cry, it doesn't hurt. It really doesn't hurt. I can't feel anything, please don't cry. Watching a particular white haired individual (a traitor, that traitor) desperately try to save you. Losing a part of yourself, a part of yourself you didn't even know you had, and giving it to someone else. Forever living with that, knowing that your other eye is somewhere, because you can still feel it, but not knowing much else. The aching absence that grows from that. He opened his eyes again. “I watched them die, right in front of my eyes. That awakened my Sharingan, and when I went home, my father congratulated me. He congratulated me. It was a nightmare and he was proud. I don't know, that always stuck with me. But anyway,” Itachi paused to drink more sake as the room spun. “Sasuke’s eyes woke during the massacre. I didn't get there in time. He watched our parents die, managed to hide in the closet and keep quiet the whole time so they didn't find him. I got there in time to stop them from killing him, and realized his sharingan had awakened because of everything. I wasn't able to save anyone, but I was able to save him, and that's all that matters.”

“I understand,” Obito replied evenly. “I know what it's like to be too late.”

Itachi’s eyes slid over to him. “Yeah well… whatever. The Uchiha had been planning a coup for a while. Danzo, he gave me a choice. Either kill everyone myself and have Sasuke be spared to live happily in the village. Or, to let them kill everyone, Sasuke included. I didn't… I refused either option and tried to get there but I was too late. They killed everyone in one night, a bunch of Anbu who were deployed for the massacre. Like I said, Sasuke managed to hide. I knew that Danzo would be after us, so I grabbed Sasuke and we got the hell out of dodge. He didn't speak for months afterwards. Not a single word, other than screaming during his nightmares. It was probably a little selfish, but I… I missed him. There was no more ‘Itachi, look at the score I got at the academy!’ or ‘Itachi look, look I learned a new move!’ There was just… nothing. He was so vacant. If he's dead- if he’s dead after everything we’ve been through, I don't- I have no idea what I'll do. We have to find him, and we have to kill the people who took him away from us. We have to.” I know, he wanted to shout. I know, I feel the same way, but I don't know why! Itachi left not long after that, stumbled back to his room, and Obito fell asleep in his armchair. That night he had a dream, a dream of Rin. it had been years since he dreamed of her, usually they were memories and bits and pieces, but this was different. He opened his eyes in his dream to a dark plane filled with ink, darkness stretching in every direction. It was a frequent setting he found himself in, usually the dream would be about him sinking into the oily substance until he couldn't breath. But this time it was low enough to wade in, his feet touching the ground, whatever that was. In the middle of the expanse, there was a bone white skeleton of some creature he didn't recognize, and Rin. He staggered towards her, and she hugged him without a word. In dreams like this he was always covered in blood, the Obito from years past. But now he was just him, and he was maskless.

“Just what have you gotten yourself into now, Obito?” she asked, and it sounded just like her. It wasn't her, he was fairly sure of that, he was dreaming for god’s sake, but it sounded like her. It seemed like her, and that was enough. “It's okay to be worried about the kid,” she said, running fingers through his hair while he tried to calm his breathing. 

“It's not real,” he managed hoarsely. “None of it. Nothing in this world is real, I shouldn't feel anything. So why… Why do I…”

“Does it matter if it's real?” she asked. “It feels real. Maybe it is, Obito.”

“Obito is dead,” he whispered. “At least the one you knew- Obito doesn't exist anymore.” Rin only shook her head, looking past him at nothing at all and smiling sadly.

“I don't believe you,” she said evenly. “You're still Obito. No matter how many names you take or how many masks you wear, I know who you are. And I think you do too.”

“It's not real,” he tried again, weakly. 

“If it's not real, then why do you help Konan with the dishes? If it's not real, then why do you want to save Itachi’s brother so badly? Why do you make plans for Nagato’s dream in the supposed next world when you don't have to? Why do you stick around Deidara to make sure he doesn't get killed? Why do you help Sasori with his puppets? Why, Obito?”

“I can't be Obito,” he muttered quietly. “He’s dead. He died with you.”

“He is right here. He is sitting here with me. You're still you. You'll always be you.”

“B-But…. But Madara-”

“Madara is dead,” she said with finality, shaking her head. “Madara is a dead man now. You are the only thing that can bring him back, and you have a choice.”

“I've never had a choice.”

“You do now. Madara isn't here.”

“This is all just an illusion.” She smiled sadly. 

“I'm an illusion, Obito. Your world is not.”

His dream didn't fade out from there. One second he was sitting in a dark dreamscape with his dead friend, and the next he was in the Akatsuki lair, laying in an armchair, sitting up and gasping for breath. His back hurt and his neck was aching from the weird position he dozed off in, and Obito could already feel the nausea of an inevitable hangover coming on. Still, he sat up properly, stretching his neck and running a hand through his short hair. Itachi was probably passed out in his room or throwing up already, and Obito had a hunch that he’d be feeling the same way pretty soon. He looked down at the floor and forced his eyes to focus. He didn't have time for a drunken hallucination within a drunken hallucination. But when he turned his head, he felt himself recoil and raise his hands to his face. The orange plastic from the ground winked back at him. Obito had taken his mask off. And now it was cracked. 

[beans-shadow]

looking for the truth (pt 10)

Fandom: Naruto

Relationship: Kakasaku

Characters: Hatake Kakashi, Haruno Sakura

read on ao3: here

part one / two / three / four / five / six / seven / eight / nine / ten / eleven / twelve / thirteen

Kakashi and Sakura finally figure out about the Mountain Stream's plan.

---

When Kakashi woke, he felt a strange weight pressing down on his bare chest. He tried to remain calm, keep his eyes closed, and scan out for what his aggressor was trying to do.

But there was a distinct lack of movement around him, and no foreign chakra signatures. Still motionless, from habit Kakashi opened only his right eye. He stilled when he saw Sakura’s arm draped over his body, her face pointing towards his shoulder, causing little winds of breath to brush on him. Somehow, during the night, they had shifted. Kakashi was baffled, as he typically never moved when he slept.

First, he sleeps through the night; now, he moved around in bed?

He started to sweat slightly, worried his revelation last night was the cause of this behavior. He’d thought with admitting his feelings, he could get over his attraction to Sakura, but it seemed his body had different ideas. His mind as well; all night, he dreamt they led a calm life, simply caring for dogs and herbal medicines, without having to worry about the call of their Hokage. It was blissful, and Kakashi longed for that feeling again.

He supposed he could enjoy her arm around him as a momentary replacement.

Trying not to be too creepy, Kakashi gazed lazily and happily at the sleepy-headed ninja. A small smile on her face, she snored through some captivating dream of her own. All the worry of impressing Tsunade as a protégé, living up to Naruto’s heroics, and moving past Sasuke’s antics were gone from her face in her peaceful sleep. Kakashi could see passed her all walls now: and there she was, the strong, fearsome, amazing Sakura. A world-renowned medic-nin, intelligent beyond belief, and with a well of chakra reserve that Kakashi envied. Hard to those she first meets, always trying to prove herself, but soft and caring to those she trusted. Her insecurities from childhood had not left her, but now she adapted them to her own uses, and she only came out more confident because of them.

Her arm pushed on his chest, and she wriggled ever so slightly closer to him. In a state of vulnerability, Kakashi brought free hand up to his face. Slowly, he tugged a finger underneath his mask – he was back to wearing his black one for the night – and started to pull it down. The brush of air on his upper lip was refreshing, and he desperately found himself wanting to expose his face to this pink-haired woman.

Then she snorted, sending a gust of air in Kakashi’s face from the pure force of her nose muscles alone. She twitched in the motion of one waking up, and Kakashi hastily shoved his mask back up. In her half-sleep, Sakura removed her arm from his chest, instead using it to rub her face harshly.

“Grmmph,” she grumbled, removing the sleep from her eyes. While shaking out her hair like a dog’s, Kakashi laughed.

She jumped in the bed, clutching her chest. “Great Kami, Kakashi, don’t scare me like that!”

“Scare you?” He asked, amused. “We’ve been sleeping the same bed for a few days now. Why did I scare you?”

“Hmm... I don’t know,” she replied, confused now. “Guess I’ve just gotten too used to it.” She flipped around, which Kakashi was happy about because it meant she couldn’t see the crinkles by his eyes from his smile at her words.

“What time is it?”

“Dunno,” Kakashi said, folding his hands behind his head, staring at the ceiling.

“You don’t know?” Sakura turned back to him. “You, Kakashi, the man stuck up about being on time whenever we have missions, don’t know the time?”

“What do you mean, I was always late,” Kakashi said, scrunching his forehead. But when he looked at Sakura, he saw the jesting light in her eyes, and rolled his own. “Oh. I see what’s happening here.”

“Not that sharp this morning, are you?” She continued to tease him, punching him on the shoulder. Damn. Kakashi tried not to show how much it hurt when she did that. She really didn’t hold back her strength around other ninja. “What’s gotten into you?”

“Not sure,” Kakashi said, worried now she might go down a line of inquiry too dangerous to navigate. “Guess I figured it didn’t matter what we did, since we can’t do anything without Pakkun’s next report.”

Sakura could not voice her agreement, as with the mention of his name, with a poof the pug appeared at the foot of their bed.  

“Boss!” Pakkun shouted, his body taut with urgency, startling Kakashi. “I snuck in underground. The place is crawling with dirt, scientists, and laboratories. It’s not pretty. There was some shouting, like people were in pain or sorrow. I could smell fear and death down there too, but I had to leave before I was spotted.”

Kakashi let out a growl. “Darn. We won’t be able to infiltrate during any distracting celebration, if there are people in pain. We can’t sit around and wait. We’ll have to make a plan and execute as soon as possible, hopefully tonight. Let’s get ready for the day and start preparations.”

“We should pack up too,” Sakura added, already standing by her side of the bed. There was a dark, grim look on her face. “I have a feeling we won’t be staying the night.”

---

The next few hours went by in a blur. As Kakashi made the bed and packed their clothes, Sakura made shinobi food packets: small food pills with enormous amounts of calories that would last them days if they needed to flee quickly. Kakashi prayed it would not come to that; the pills always took a deep toll on his body after years of ANBU.

During their preparations, Pakkun returned to their inn room. In his mouth was a scroll with the Yamanaka seal.

Dropping it on the table where Kakashi was finishing up on the last backpack, Pakkun said “Found a Konoha messenger bird hiding outside. Assumed it was for you two.”

Sakura dropped her work in the kitchen to sprint over, ripping he scroll from Kakashi’s hand. Unfurling it, her eyes scanned quickly as she deciphered the basic ninja code.

“Well?” Kakashi prompted.

“They did a chemical analysis on the soil,” Sakura said, still reading. “The same as before, since they’ve always been thorough and checked each package upon initial import into the village. But this time, they’ve found traces of hallucinogens in the bacteria, but small levels.” She squinted. “Wait, she said they also reanalyzed after those samples came back, and found the density of the compounds was increasing significantly. After the third analysis, the chemical volume had doubled again.”

“Dammit!” Sakura snarled, throwing the scroll to the side. She crossed her arms. “Something has been activated in the soil being imported, I have no doubt about it.”

“Is that possible?” Kakashi asked, head cocked. “To do a remote biological activation?”

Sakura shook her head. “That’s not what I mean.” Gesturing in the air, she tried to explain. “It’s simply a matter of time. I’m sure this special bacteria Futoshi and the Daimyo can’t stop mentioning has a lifespan. At some point of maturity, bacteria can start releasing different chemicals. These ones probably happen to release some toxic chemical where our bodies respond to it as if it were a psychedelic or psychotic drug.”

Kakashi’s body went cold. “What exactly would it do to us, our village?”

Sakura shook her head again, eyes sorrowful. “We can’t know for sure, without seeing empirical evidence. There are so many compounds out there, with different signs, symptoms, as well as effect manifestation.”

“Empirical evidence?”

Now a look of desperation tossed Kakashi’s way. “As in, waiting to see it affect one of our citizens.”

Kakashi had had enough. “That’s it,” he announced. “We’re not waiting for nightfall. We leave now.”

---

As they ran through the shadows and rooftops, Kakashi’s mind grew darker and darker. From the beginning, this town had seemed almost harmless. Tsunade had mentioned chemical warfare, but Futoshi seemed to dull to think of anything sinister. The Daimyo, while a bad father figure, did not seem to have the capabilities of a direct attack on the most powerful village in the region.

Then Kakashi glanced at Sakura, headband back proudly on her forehead. Her eyes were slits as she concentrated.

She did not seem to have the capabilities of a great shinobi, and she’d proven him wrong.

Goodness knows how many devastating events have occurred due to Kakashi being wrong.

Readying to find something monstrous, Kakashi tightened his fists behind him. Anything was possible, and from what Pakkun described, it sounded awful.

The pug led them through winding pathways until they reached a specific manhole on the outskirts of town. Kakashi tossed the cover to the side, allowing Pakkun and Sakura to dive in before he covered up their disappearance.

The sewer system was pristine in terms of upkeep. There was no source of light, but the walls and pipes were in such good condition, Kakashi wondered where all the workers must be if they had to maintain this constantly.

Sakura was occupied with a different train of thought. “This reminds me of that hidden base of Orochimaru,” she said, rubbing her chin. “People only go to these lengths if they have something they really do not want discovered. Below ground also limits the exposure to sunlight, and keeps temperatures cool. Perfect experimentation climates.”

Kakashi nodded along with her insights. That all made sense, if the Land of Mountain Streams was indeed cooking up some evil bacteria.

“They obviously keep this place extraordinarily clean too,” she mentioned, touching the shining tile work that functioned as the sewer walls. “They must be disinfecting to prevent contamination, given the fact that if these waters were exposed, it would reach every nook and cranny of their village.”

Hmm, Kakashi thought. There was his answer.

Pakkun also agreed. “That’s also why it took me so long to find this place. I kept losing track of the scent. Everything being so hygienic or mixed with cleaning supply fragrances made me go in circles, or find those other vaults. But I finally found the way to what we are looking for.”

After around half an hour more of sewer wandering, Pakkun’s body grew stiff. “We’re close. Time to keep it down.” They become one with the shadows once more, drawing ever nearer to the gray wall Pakkun had described before. It was seamless with its surroundings; airtight, just as Pakkun had said. There was no doorknob visible, or an interface for admission.

The threesome found an indentation that covered their view as they waited for someone to pass through. They waited in absolute silence, barely even breathing, for fifteen more minutes. Then finally a man in a white cloak came down from above, dropping from a sewer ladder. He unsheathed a knife and a berry from his pocket, and stabbed the fruit. With the flick of his wrist, he sprayed the wall with the juice.

With a rumble, the wall started moving. It opened in the middle, mechanisms pulling each door into the walls of the sewer. The doors moved slowly, a mistake the Land of the Mountain streams would soon pay for, Kakashi hoped.

Once the scientist walked through the gate, Pakkun wagged his tail thrice – the signal to move in the count of three seconds.

One, two… Kakashi tapped on Sakura’s shoulder. Three. He ran after Pakkun, trusting Sakura to catch on.

All three swiftly made it to the other side, trusting that the rumbling of the door would cover up any noise they made.

Kakashi took a quick awareness of the room. It was cold and musty, with crawling tubes winding about glassware in some sinister-looking experiments.

On the walls, cabinets overflowed with files and notebooks full of observations. On the other side, tables of sample soils lined the wall, each with different color codes. In the center, clear boards with different chemical equations and mechanisms illustrated the goals of this facility. The scientist from before walked straight across the room into a separate chamber that required a card to be swiped.

Pakkun continued, turning into a separate room, not taking the chance that someone would turn around and find three newcomers. This one smelled of manure and compost, and even Kakashi gagged from under his mask. Barrels of dirt crawled with worms and other composting insects, producing fresh natural products.

At the end of this room, there was a door with a keypad. “This is as far as I got last time, but I know the how to get in.” Kakashi picked up Pakkun, allowing him to push in the code he’d seen someone else enter prior. With a hiss, the doors opened with a creak. Shouts and screams filled Kakashi’s ears..

In a series of clicks, lights above them turned on, making their way down the hallway. It lit up a passageway, blinding Kakashi as he eyes adjusted to the brightness.

Forcing his body to advance, Kakashi made his way forward to inspect the objects in the room.

There were humans trapped in these cages, which Kakashi presumed were one-way glass, as they did not even indicate they saw Kakashi, Sakura, and Pakkun watching them. In the middle were classical metal bars separating the two subjects. One woman was curled in the corner, crying to the other.

The other, man, had a dead look in their eyes, his face completely relaxed. But he groped through the bars, reaching for the other. He tried to rip off the bars, trying his hardest to break through, but nothing was working. It was not the attempt to reunite with his lover, friend, whatever they were. It was something dark and dangerous.

The small woman cried to him. “Please, stop! Snap out of it!” But the man seemed to not hear her at all, and just kept reaching for her.

Sakura tapped Kakashi on the shoulder, and he turned to look farther down the hallway. He stopped breathing.

For as long as he could see, these cells lined the walls. Some were empty, but most were occupied. The one next to the woman and man had three people – two fighting back against one who kept punching, kicking, and biting. They screamed in pain, pushing off the man, but he kept approaching them no matter how much damage he took.

Slam!

Kakashi flinched as someone rammed themselves against the glass in the adjacent cell. Blood remained where their head had made contact, but they did not seem to care. They kept running themselves into the walls, not reacting in the slightest.

Sakura and Kakashi kept walking down, Pakkun in toe, disgusted and repelled by every sight. In some cages, Kakashi also saw recently deceased collapsed on one another, their bodies still bleeding.

“Pakkun, it’s time for you to go,” Kakashi whispered. The pug nodded, and unsummoned himself.

It seemed that the Daimyo was having people fight each other, despite their previous relationships and affiliations. Although it did not appear to be by force, some unnatural aspect was at hand here.

It did not click until Kakashi saw someone sobbing over a mutilated body, asking for forgiveness.

“Why? Why did this happening?” The woman cried, caressing the face of another woman. “Dear sister, who did this to you?”

“The bacteria…” Kakashi said. Sakura’s head turned. “You said it was a hallucinogen?”

Sakura nodded. “Of a sort.”

“What if… it’s making people’s senses change? As in, affecting what they perceive as loved ones?”

Sakura watched the sister arch her back over her sister, whom she must have killed in self-defense. “That’s entirely possible. But horrific.”

The door opened on the other side of the sister’s cell, and she looked up in a panic, running to the wall with Sakura and Kakashi. She plastered herself against the glass, to no avail.

In walked the Daimyo himself, clapping. Three scientists clad in coats followed him, taking quick notes on their clipboards. “Well, you survived her attack. Thank you, this was our most successful experiments, and most informative.”

“What’s wrong with you?” The woman spat, breathing heavily. “Please, just let me go. I just want to go home.”

The Daimyo shook his head. “Well, that’s just unfortunate. Because you’ve been exposed as well.”

The woman shook her head. “No, I saw what you did to her! I never got injected!”

The Daimyo rubbed his head. “Oh, boy, am I really wrong?” He looked at his scientists innocently, who remained impassive in their stares back. “I, the Lord of the Mountain Streams, am wrong?”

He started walking towards the woman. The fear was evident in the her, as she cowered even more, visible tremors shaking her body. He brushed her hair to the side.

“You see, we’ve been treating you alright, haven’t we? Keeping you fed down here, giving you a nice place to sleep? In exchange of seeing your sister?”

Finding an ounce of courage, the woman slapped his hand away. “Just to pin her down and give her a dose of some weird shit, you animal!”

The Daimyo stared at his hand, and then tutted. “Well, I kept my word, didn’t I? You still got to see her.” He walked to the dead body, kicking it. “She reacted fast to the drug, but you… you’ve proven that all of our planning has worked. That our time is near, and my revenge will be coming soon.”

The woman clenched her fists. “Excuse me?”

The Daimyo snapped his fingers, and a scientist quickly scampered up to him and pointed to some data on his clipboard. “Well, from our calculations, you should be reacting to the same chemical in your food in just a few minutes.”

Kakashi’s blood went cold.

“See you,” the Daimyo fluttered his fingertips, and let the stunned woman come to terms with his words. He exited, the doors closing taking the last ounce of hope from the woman, who collapsed on the ground in tears.

Not being able to bear watching this any longer, Kakashi ran.

“Kakashi!” Sakura shouted after him. But he did not care. This man had to pay. Torture, human experiments, manipulation? It was disgusting. The cages all around him turned into blurs, mixing into one another. They conglomerated together into one massive pile of unrestrained, unintentional betrayal.

He slowed down until he finally reached the end of the massive hall, where a door waited Kakashi to tear down. As he was preparing his hand motions, he glanced to his side.

A knife in his hand, a man wept as he stood near the wall of his cell. Another man with countless scratches, cuts, and bruises picked himself up from the floor by the opposite wall. As before, the first man was pleading as he cried, to no avail. It was obvious this infection took away any self-control or awareness in the specimen. Pain receptors appeared to be blocked as well, as even as blood dripped around him, the man stood up with no problem and began lurching to the other in puppeteer motions.

“I’m sorry!” The man yelled, and in one quick thrust, stabbed the other man in the stomach with such force the knife protruded out of the man’s back. The lifeless figure fell limp on his arm, any sense of soul seeping away. They fell to the ground together, and the man clutched his cellmate in anguish.

With that, Kakashi’s mind went black.

The holding cells around him disappeared, fading into darkness. He was just a body, suspended in by some unknown force. Then his hand, by its own volition, brought itself in to the air. Shaking violently, sparks flashed around his palm, drifting into the abyss and eventually fading away. Light flickered around his fingertips, soon joined by the sharp chirping of birds. Eyes widening, Kakashi wondered how this jutsu could be summoned; he did not feel any expenditure of chakra.

In a flash, his hand disappeared as well. His arm was stuck in a black wall, sticky and wet all around. Every movement of his arm, elicited a groan of pain and despair, and Kakashi froze.

Fearing the worst, Kakashi bent his neck upward. Brown eyes full of desperation looked above at the darkened sky, filling with tears. Kakashi’s Sharingan pulsed as he came to terms with what just happened.

“Rin, no!” He fully extracted his arm from her chest, causing Rin to fall backwards with no grace. Crumbling to his knees, Kakashi clutched his face in his hands. “I didn’t mean to! I didn’t mean no! I’m so sorry! Rin!”

Shaking his head violently, Kakashi tried to remove the picture from his mind. But it persevered, and the more Kakashi fought it, the clearer it became. The Mist Ninja plot, the pain of losing Obito. It all came crashing down on Kakashi, magnified by his lingering guilt.

“I’m so sorry!” He cried. “Obito, Rin!”

“Kakashi!” A distant voice was yelling out for him, but Rin’s body still lay motionless in front of him, taunting his failure in keeping his promise to keep her safe. His body shook, the shock overtaking him. He couldn’t protect Obito, so and he couldn’t protect Rin when she’d needed him the most. Everyone close to him died eventually.

Minato, Obito, Jiraiya, Kushina, Asuma… the list went on and on. A legendary ninja, he wasn’t. He was a failure of a friend, a failure of a ninja, a failure of a person, a failure…

“Kakashi!”

Someone was shaking him, and relenting, Kakashi removed his hands from his eyes. A medic nin peered down at him, where he lay on the floor, curled up in a ball.

“Kakashi, what’s the matter with you? Who are Obito and Rin?” Hands attempted to uncurl him, but his muscles felt paralyzed and refused to move.

“Rin?” Kakashi asked. He reached out to the woman. “Is that you?”

“This isn’t good,” she muttered, looking around. Dragging Kakashi by the shirt behind her, she ripped open the door and stepped through the threshold. It was cold and damp in this room, and Kakashi leaned against the wall, still in anguish.

A soft, calming light glittered around his chest, his shoulders, his face. The person in front of him was still blurry, with the wall the only object in the room Kakashi could focus on. Under his breath, he kept whispering. “I’m sorry, I never meant to. I swear. I swear…”

Swearing to the side, the medic-nin turned off her healing chakra. Instead, she took his face in her hands, and tried to get him to look at her. His eyes felt heavy and lazy, jostling all around until he finally tied himself to her emerald beacons. Emerald. She wasn’t Rin. Rin didn’t have green eyes. These eyes were beautiful, some of the most beautiful eyes he’d ever seen. Only one person held these eyes.

“S…Sakura?”

Her eyes creased, tears clustering in the corners. “Kakashi,” she cried, and wrapped her arms around him. “I was so scared, I couldn’t find anything wrong with you, I thought you’d gotten infected too.”

Still semi-paralyzed against the wall, he simply nuzzled his nose into her shoulder. “No, no… I’m so sorry, that’s never happened to me before. I don’t even know what happened.”

She pulled away, and Kakashi missed her soft hair against his cheek. It was so calming.

“Kakashi, I think you just had a PTSD episode,” she said, turning on her medical-voice. “have you ever had one before?”

“PTSD?”

“Post-traumatic stress disorder. After a traumatic event, sometimes the body relives the memory after triggers, can also causes insomnia and nightmares. Has that ever happened to you?”

Silent, Kakashi moved his mouth. He did, but he figured it was just guilt plaguing him. “I–”

With a crash, a door on the opposite side of the room burst oopen. The Daimyo, full of glory and fury, stood there with his entourage.

A look of shock flashed on his face, but then he took in Kakashi’s Jonin uniform.

“Leaf ninja,” he spat.

Scrambling to her feet, Sakura placed herself in a fighting stance. Kakashi remained motionless on the ground, adrenaline from his episode draining away.

“Mr. Hate and Ms. Haru,” the Daimyo continued. “I should have known. There was always something off about you two.”

“Something off about us?” Sakura asked, dumbfounded. “We aren’t the ones conducting illegal experiments!”

The Daimyo smirked. “That you know about, poor girl. Every village has its secrets.”

Arm quaking in effort, Kakashi lifted himself up to a crouch. Grimacing, he shouted at the Daimyo. “What is the meaning of all of this? I thought your people were peaceful, simply caring for your land. You lied to us, lied to everyone.” He pointed all around him, his voice growing louder with each word.

“When did I lie?” The Daimyo shouted back. “Us Mountain Stream people are the caretakers of special bacteria that enhances the soil here. But we also developed a way to take that bacteria that cultivated the land and turn it sour, contaminating the food and disrupting people’s cognitive abilities, making them recognize their loved ones as enemies.” He laughed. “That’s how we really issued our ultimatum to make Fire and Earth leave us alone. They could either perish, or leave us be.”

“But what’s the point now?” Emotion broke through in Kakashi’s voice. “If you wanted to be let be, why all of this torture, this planning, this experimentation? It’s inhumane!”

The Daimyo stepped forward, pointing accusatory at Kakashi. “Inhumane? Inhumane? You want to talk about what’s inhumane?” His eyes were seeing red. “How about your own village! You leaf ninja murdered my wife in cold blood, without reason. There was no retribution, or apologies. You are all heathens, living without care for the rest of the world! You do not think about the impact of who else you affect outside of your own precious village.”

What? Kakashi traced his memories, and one faded, muddled in alcohol broke through. Sakura had found out as much after her arm wrestling session.

Kakashi shook his head. That incident, he remembered learning about it, a long time ago.

Sarutobi sensei had called it a tragic accident; the leaf ninja’s target had been some high-profile politician seeking asylum in this land. Mistaking the Daimyo’s wife as the target, they’d killed her. They’d been rebuked, but Sarutobi could not bring anyone back to life, and left the incident as just that – a mistake that meant nothing to the Leaf.

It was just like Nagato’s situation. A small mistake from the Leaf was about to cost them their entire home.

It was true; Leaf Village, as the Daimyo said, was not the straightest arrow. But right now, Kakashi’s home was in danger, and he would protect the village with his life, as was his duty.

Shaking his head, Kakashi focused on the evil man. “The moral of a story often depends on the temper of the man telling it. You do not have all of the facts,” he spat at the Daimyo.

“I have all the facts that I think are necessary!” The Daimyo yelled. “And now everything you love will perish, as mine did.”

Kakashi felt a tug on his arm. Sakura jutted her head to the exit. “There’s no point in staying here any longer,” Sakura said, teeth tight. “The longer we stay, the deeper the infestation gets back in the village. We have to go.”

Knowing she was correct, Kakashi let her pull him towards the door.

“Oh, no you don’t!” The Daimyo shouted. Gesturing at his scientists, he commanded, “get them!”

Utterly confused at what they could do, the scientists looked at each other, and back at the ninja.

Rolling his eyes, Kakashi stepped through the doorframe. Then something caught his eye. Boxes labeled ready for export lined the room from floor to ceiling. They were in a storage room.

While Kakashi knew they should leave, he could not leave without doing something. Recalling the proper jutsu, Kakashi made the hand signs for the Uchiha’s fireball, releasing it around him. The spoil ignited, the fertilizer exploding in horrid smells. The scientists behind him crawled back through their door, screaming, as they ran away in fright. As the bacteria perished around him, flames lighting up his face, the Lord shook his head as he backed away.

“Good effort, but the damage is already done. I will have my revenge, and—”

In a pink flash, Sakura ran up to the Daimyo and clipped him on the side with a high kick. He fell over, landing in a pile of burning fertilizer.

Kakashi, aghast, gaped at her.

Emerald eyes cold and serious, she beckoned Kakashi. “We have no more time left to lose. Come on.”

When Sakura became this serious, Kakashi knew there was nothing he could do but follow orders, or feel the wrath of the mini Tsunade. With a nod, he followed the pink-haired shinobi, and together the two of them vanished back into the sewers, and out of the village, into the forest.

[ultiman73]

The Saiyan and the Avenger, Chapter 3: Confession

Clouds hung low in the still, grim sky, blanketing the world above in a mantle of grey and stealing the sun before it reached the ground. No wind blew across the land. No wildlife made a sound. Bright flashes reflected off the surrounding landscape, booms and crashes tearing at the unmoving air. Goku turned away from the angry waves of dust and dirt that barreled toward him, shielding the food with his body as best he could. Shifting his grip, he continued up the hill. Reaching the top, he scanned his surroundings.

                Before him lay a vast field of soft earth. Once, it had probably been a beautiful stretch of land perfect for picnics and lazy afternoons, but now almost no grass remained. Hundreds of craters pick pocketed the field, many of them smoking and filling with falling dust. Shattered rocks, splintered trees, and other debris littered the landscape.

                Across the land raged a small, bright-orange army. Dozens of Narutos blazed at each other, crashing and blasting and punching and screaming in an endless storm of fury. As Goku watched, a group of Narutos were struck down by one wielding a gigantic shuriken of wind, only for twice as many to take their place and destroy the attacker. Through the chaos, as he searched for the real Naruto, Goku noticed that they all bore red, raw eyes.

                “Hey, Naruto!” Goku called. Almost instantly, all the Narutos stopped and glared in his direction. “Are you hungry? I brought lunch!” He held up a pair of covered Saiyan-sized ramen bowls to prove it.

                The Narutos hesitated for a moment. Then they began dissipating. One by one, each shadow clone vanished in a cloud of smoke, until only the real Naruto remained in the distance, covered in dirt and grime, dried blood surrounding his mouth and numerous other small wounds on his body.

                “Hey, Goku.” Naruto jogged over. “Thanks.” Joylessly, Naruto accepted the bowl and sat down on the side of the hill. Goku joined him. Together they opened their bowls and began eating.

                For a long moment, they ate in silence. Then, Goku glanced over at Naruto. “Looks like your training’s going good.”

                “Thanks,” Naruto said quietly, avoiding his gaze. “I’ve been working almost non-stop for awhile now.” He hesitated. “How… how is everybody doing?”

                “Oh, they’re fine. Chi-Chi’s doing alright, Vegeta’s being grumpy and short, same as always, and Pan… wow, you should see how big she’s gotten. Pretty soon she’ll be able to lift me!”

                “Glad to hear it.” Naruto ground his knuckle into his eye as if trying to rub out a speck of dust, but his finger glistened as he lowered it.

                Goku studied him. “So what’s this all about? Everybody in the village says you’re upset about something. What’s going on?”

                Naruto stayed silent for a minute. Then: “I screwed up, Goku. Worse than I ever did before. And there isn’t a damn thing I can do to fix it.”

                Goku froze. “Naruto…”

                Naruto raised his head, his eyes focusing on a jagged piece of wood a few meters away. “I’m guessing Grandma Tsunade told you what’s been going on around here?”

                “Just that there’s a war going on now. Still can’t believe how lucky you guys are.” Naruto’s eyes tightened sharply. Goku winced inwardly and looked away. “Sorry.”

                “Yeah, there’s a war going on. Fourth Shinobi World War, if you can believe it. And we’re lucky enough to be in the middle of it. It’s been a little quiet around here, so Grandma Tsunade managed to get a lot of us sent back here. We’re supposed to be protecting this area, but really we’re just resting. At least for now.”

Naruto sucked in a breath. “It all started awhile back. Remember Sasuke, the guy I told you about?”

                “Yeah, Tsunade talked about him, too.”

                “Well, he never stopped causing trouble. He kept killing people, breaking all hell loose, you name it. But that’s where I screwed up the first time: I didn’t stop him while I could. I kept trying to bring him back and get him to turn good again, but it didn’t work. Pretty soon, he got so strong nobody could touch him. He wouldn’t even fight me anymore. He decided he was so far above me, fighting me would just be a waste of his time.

“Awhile after that, some crazy guy named Madara showed up and kept making noise and going on about how he wanted to make world peace. He turned out to be even worse than Sasuke. And since we didn’t stop him, he got Sasuke to work with him. Everything got so bad that all the kages met at the 5 Kage Summit, but they attacked that, too. Sasuke even set the Raikage’s whole body on fire with black flame that you can’t put out.”

“Is he okay?” Goku asked, slurping a noodle.

“Fortunately, he was able to run super fast and use the friction to burn off the top layer of his skin. He’s fine, but that’s where the good part ends. Madara declared war on the whole world, announcing that he was going to completely beat down everybody everywhere. And when there was nobody left to challenge him in the whole shinobi world, he was finally going to bring about world peace, whatever that means.

“Soon after that, the war started. The Pale Army exploded everywhere, backed up by the Deathless Legion, a small army of ninja that have been brought back from the dead under Madara’s control. When the Pale Army kills somebody from our side that they like, they steal the body and resurrect it as another one of their soldiers.”

“That’s awful!”

Naruto nodded, picking up a piece of chicken with his chopsticks. “I was supposed to be sent off someplace where they couldn’t get to me, but Kakashi-sensei got them to let me fight alongside everyone else.

“Anyway, Sasuke kept showing up on the battlefields and slaughtering our guys. Everybody said he had to die, but I wouldn’t listen. I swore over and over that he was my friend, and that I wouldn’t give up on him. Everyone told me I was wrong, and that they wouldn’t help me. Even though I said that Sasuke was our comrade, and we couldn’t abandon him, every one of them turned away from me. Everyone… except Hinata.”

Goku searched his memory. “Hinata… that’s Neji’s sister, right?”

“Cousin, yeah.” Naruto turned away, his bowl forgotten. “Hinata approached me when everybody else was gone. I still remember what she said to me on that day: ‘I’ll fight for you, Naruto. No matter what it takes, I’m going to stand by your side.’” Naruto’s voice caught. The next day we set out to find Sasuke.

“Weeks passed. I dragged us all over the Nations looking for him. Over mountains, through storms, across oceans of corpses… I didn’t care, as long as we could get to him. And through it all, Hinata never complained, not even once. And I never asked if she was tired, or miserable, or anything. Then, right when I was starting to lose hope, we found him.

“He was standing at the base of a pile of bodies he had made, watching it burn in that black fire I mentioned. Me and Hinata… we shouted at him that we were there to bring him back. But Sasuke just smirked at us. He looked at Hinata and said ‘Looks like your pet got tired of stalking you from the sidelines.’

“We tried to convince him to come peacefully, but no matter what we said, he wouldn’t listen. That’s when I got desperate. I tried to force him to come back with us. And that’s when all hell broke loose.

“We fought as hard as we could for longer than I can remember. I pulled out more Wind Rasenshuriken than I knew I could make, and I threw them all right in his face. Hinata… she gave it everything. In the middle of the fight, she did that flaming-lion-fist thing, the one that’s her most powerful attack. She blasted Sasuke with it for a full minute, punching him so hard her arms were a blur.

“But he didn’t even flinch. The whole time, he just stood there while she punched his chest over and over again, still wearing that damn smirk. Then when she was too tired to keep going, he just reached out and pushed her, and she went flying.

“I lost track of how long he kept screwing with us. But finally it happened.

“We were both finished, so exhausted we could barely stand. But Sasuke was still as strong as ever. The bastard moved in, still smirking. Hinata tried to raise her hand to hit him, but he just knocked it away. He moved behind her and grabbed her hair, forcing her head back. With his free hand he made a chidori. Hinata starting crying out to me, I can still see the tears streaming down her face. I begged Sasuke to stop, but he just looked at me and said ‘After all this time, you still don’t see how pathetic you are. You’ve failed everyone else. And now you’ve failed her.’ My eyes met Hinata’s. And as I watched, Sasuke tightened his grip, raised his hand, and…”

Naruto made a sobbing, choking noise, his body lurching uncontrollably. The ramen bowl on his lap fell to the ground and spilled. “I don’t know how long I sat there holding her body, begging her to come back. But no matter how much I…” Naruto wiped his eyes and tried to compose himself. “Somehow I made it home with her body across my shoulders. And when I got there…

“The way everyone looked at me… I don’t even know how to describe it. Neji was the worst. He glared at me like he wanted to skin me alive, but when I found him later, he was crying his eyes out where he thought no one would see him. And everyone else… it’s like I wasn’t even human anymore. And they all kept talking like I was missing something, but I didn’t know what it was. And it was only later that learned the truth.

Goku held his breath as he watched helplessly.

“She loved me, Goku,” Naruto finally managed. “That’s why she agreed to go with me. From the first day we met, she loved me. That’s why she was always following me. That’s why she always fainted when I was around. That’s why she was always so nice to me when no one else was. Why didn’t I see it before?” Not caring if Goku saw, Naruto buried his face in his hands.

Goku looked for a way to help. Hesitantly, he reached toward his friend, but stopped and awkwardly pulled his arm back, fighting the sense of helplessness that came with it.

Naruto reached into a pocket and pulled out a folded piece of paper. Without turning, he held it over his shoulder, and Goku wordlessly accepted it. “Hinata’s sister found this in her room.” Goku opened the paper. Staring back at him was a remarkably well-drawn picture signed “Hinata Hyuuga” in the lower right corner. In the picture, Goku beheld what appeared to be older versions of Naruto and Hinata, smiling happily. With them were two small children. “Boruto. Himawari. She had already named our children. She was hoping that someday we’d get married and start a family and nothing would ever be wrong again…” Naruto’s body convulsed as another sobbing, choking sound escaped him. After a minute he mumbled something too low for Goku to hear.

“What?”

“I said Neji was right,” Naruto finally got out, trying in vain to stop. “I don’t know if you know, but Neji’s a big believer in fate. Years ago, during the Chunin exams, he told me how we were all doomed to an escapable fate from the moment we’re born. I thought he’d gotten over it, but it never went away. He believes he’s always going to be held back by his fate, and someday he’s going to die because of it, no matter how much of that do-not-go-gently stuff he does. And when I brought back Hinata’s body, he told me that he had always believed it would be her fate to die because of her devotion to me. And I could see it in his eyes: he wasn’t lying.

“It’s all my fault, Goku. The one person who ever really loved me is gone because of me.”

Goku sat in stunned silence, not fighting the pressure he felt building behind his eyes. Unsure of what else to do, he moved closer and wrapped his arms around Naruto in a bear hug. Naruto hugged back, continuing to cry into Goku’s shoulder without caring who might be watching.

“I wish I could do something,” Goku whispered. “If I could bring her back, I’d do it in a second.” He stopped himself from adding, But I already talked to Dende. Whatever this place is, it’s not part of my world. The dragons have no power here. “I’ve made my own mistakes in battle before, so I know what it’s like.” At least you never healed a powerful enemy and made your son fight him. “So I’m here for you, always. You’re my friend, Naruto, and no matter what happens, you’ll always be my friend.”

For a time, Naruto cried without restraint. Goku remained motionless as his friend released all of the sorrow he had been holding in. Eventually, Naruto got himself under control and disengaged from Goku. “I know Sasuke has to be stopped. I know that nothing is going to bring him back. But I can’t beat him. He’s too powerful, and there’s nothing I can do to stop him from hurting everyone else I care about. If only I’d taken him down when I had the chance…”

Goku listened in silence. Slowly, he pulled his arms away from Naruto. Sucking in a breath, he clapped his friend on the shoulders as his face twisted into a glare. “I’ll take care of him.”

Naruto blinked away some tears. “What?”

“Go get yourself cleaned up. I’m putting an end to Sasuke’s rampage. Today.”

“Really? You’d do that?”

Goku pressed his own uneaten bowl of ramen into Naruto’s hands. “I didn’t know Hinata very well, but I’m not going to let Sasuke get away with hurting her or anyone else.” Goku stood up. “So finish that ramen and go get some rest. It’s my turn.” Goku clenched his fists, savoring the cracking sound that came from his knuckles.

Naruto stared up at the Saiyan towering over him. “Goku, I…”

“Just one thing.” Goku placed two fingers on his forehead. “I need to borrow your forehead.”

“Huh?”

“You’ve been around Sasuke a lot, right? I need to search your mind for what his chakra feels like so I can find it.”

“Oh, okay.” Naruto let Goku place a hand on his forehead.

Goku searched for a moment. “Got it. Now go take care of yourself. It’s time I met Sasuke.” Without waiting for a reply, he adjusted his fingers, bowed his head, and vanished.