#and juts ruining people emotions and mental and physical

[psalm40speakstome]

[ghostatas]

No because this is SO TRUE

This is gonna be a bit long so ima put a

With Ron I feel its a bit different, but overall mostly the same. We know the fed workers are probably basically brainwashed into being obedient and don't really think for themselves. They live, work and die for the federation. They don't feel or think for themselves, so they don't know how unsettling and bad their situation actually is. They just exist.

Then Ron in kidnapped, and TORTURED. At the beginning, Bad would just walk in, ask his question and torture him when he said he didn't know. Then Bad got attached, named him and gave him a nicer place and all that. Ron would be feeling very peculiar I think during this time. He'll be confused at first, then afraid, then TERRIFIED and so horribly confused. These would be the first proper emotions he experiences, or remembers ig. But then Bad changes, and he experiences.... good? things.

Bad and Ron's situation is weird. There is DEFINATELY some heavy stockholme/lemur syndrome going on here, which fucks up the way people can view it. But Ron does start thinking for himself, and he DOES realise that yeah, his situation before was pretty shitty. His situation now is also pretty shitty, but it is BETTER. He still needs time to figure it out though (i doubt he'll get a happy ending but we'll say, maybe bbh will be merciful lol). Its the same for Fit and Cellbit, maybe others too.

Fit was a nomad. He physically couldn't set up a a base because of griefers, because of the threat of being spawn trapped. He could NOT make ANY relationships because you were more likely to be backstabbed, used and trolled. It was every man for themselves. At most, you'd make temporary acquaintances. In 2b2t, it was all you could do to survive because 95% of people there are clinically insane and will ruin your life for shits and giggles (2b2t feels like a looney tunes rendition of a mental asylum sometimes tbh)

Now fit can actually have a proper base, which is...wow? Like he has a home to get back to, people waiting for him, a SON that loves him and relies on him and trusts him UNCONDITIONALLY. Like holy shit. And yeah, there's still people trying to kill them but it's not happening every 5 minutes! He can take a break! He can finally process an emotion instead of being hollow and a suppressed deadbeat motherfucker! ( he will continue suppressing those emotions. Dude does NOT know how to deal with them, probably doesn't even realise they still exist LOL) There's people here who will fight on the same side as him, who he can rely on, who he can joke around with without fear of being backstabbed. Like yeah, he still makes preparations and doest trust everyone fully obviously but there's some mutual agreement between all the islanders that 'we are in the same boat, we are together. We have our differences and we may fight or disagree but at the end of the day I will fight alongside you, we will protect eachother, we have the same goal' and its the most precious fucking thing to Fit.

Cellbits first memory was killing someone as a child. He lived in a war for many years. Everyday it was kill or be killed. I feel like cellbits environment felt a lot more serious than Fit's, because in 2b2t (most) people had a CHOICE to kill and took it, whereas people in the hunger games were a lot more desperate, if you get me. I don't know much of cellbits lore, but yeah, he also was in prison and a cannibal and seriously fucked up. But then in the island, although he is basically being psychologically tortured every day, he has a family and people who bring him joy, that will defend him and stick by him. (I want to make a different full post about cellbit and his recent lore, the 'I've been happiest on the island' and him and Bagi being siblings I have many thoughts I juts cba typing it all out rn but it has got me THINKING)

But yeah. Idk. My brain cells have died have this ig

Isn't Ron in a simaler situation to some of the islanders?

Where's finally in a comfy place and able to think for himself but isn't allowed to leave?

Kinda reminds me of how Fit and Cellbit are finally in a pretty great place. They have a family now and aren't alone in war or a wasteland fighting to survive every day.

I wish I was smart because this is sooo

Someone smarter than please write and essay abt this or something

[theangriestpea]

Mercy Killing

A/N: This took so long to come out but it’s finally here! I might wrap this series up soon and take a break for a bit, then come back with a sequel? There’s some plot lines I haven’t tied up yet and I don’t want to pull a RAS and just abandon them completely. I’m just a little burned out?? I also want to work on Compersion (polyamory fic).

Combined in this fic are two anon requests! Enjoy!

Warnings: some smut. A bit of dirty talk. Possessive Pea??

Cross-posted on AO3.

Chapter Fifteen: At Last

Lavender scooped up another mouthful of rice with her chopsticks, stuffing it into her mouth. Toni finished off the last piece of her sweet and sour chicken. “So, you and Sweets are like…together?”

Lav swallowed before drinking some of her Old Fashioned that Toni had made for her earlier. Her throat suddenly felt dry and she wasn’t sure what to say. She and Sweet Pea had decided to keep their newfound relationship under wraps while things were still tense with the Ghoulies. It was just something new for both of them.

Things hadn’t changed too much since that night at the Wyrm. It had only been a few days but they had seemed a little more at ease with one another. The tension was gone, finally. It was very obvious to the other Serpents and especially to Toni who had been manning the bar that night.

“It’s um…” She mumbled, not really knowing how she should respond. “A little complicated?” Her voice ended in a question. Was it really all that complicated? She had basically asked him to be his girlfriend and he (in his own Sweet Pea way) said yes. By all accounts they were “official”.

“So you’re just boning in the supply closet then?” Toni asked jokingly, putting her now empty container of food down. “Because I know it’s more than that.”

Lav bit her lip, “we promised to keep in on the down low.” She said in a soft voice. “But yes, we agreed to be exclusive.”

A grin broke across Toni’s face. She didn’t even try to conceal her excitement for her two friends. Her smile faltered slightly though, unsure of how Lavender was really taking everything. “But you were okay with this? After everything that happened with James? I mean, that relationship just ended…”

She put down her rice as a small frown formed on her face. “Yes, I’m okay…” There wasn’t much confidence left in her voice now as she looked at her lap.

Toni reached out to grab her hand, “Lavender, tell me the truth.” Her voice came out like an older sister trying to pry information out of a younger sibling. Lavender’s eyes lifted to look into Toni’s.

Tears lined her lower lids suddenly as emotion overwhelmed her suddenly. “I’m so scared.” Lavender said, her voice wavering as she tried not to sob. She felt like she had just cried so much the past month that crying more just seemed moot.

Toni smiled softly, her thumb rubbing against the back of Lav’s hand to help soothe her. “The Serpents will protect you, you know that, right? No Serpent left behind.” She wanted to make sure that her friend knew that things would be okay, these threats would blow over eventually.

“No, it’s not that.” Lavender stated, feeling calm enough to speak. “I’m afraid that I’ll ruin things between me and Sweet Pea.”

Toni’s brows furrowed in confusion, “why do you think that, baby?” She asked, not knowing what the reasoning behind Lav’s anxiety was. “Sweet Pea is kind of a brute but he’s not going to hurt you on purpose. You know that, right?”

Lav wiped her eyes with the hand that wasn’t in Toni’s grasp. “I’m so fucked up, Toni. I don’t want him to leave because he can’t handle all of my baggage. I don’t even think I can handle it. It’s so heavy. I’m so tired. I don’t know what to do.”

Toni moved closer, wrapping her arm around Lav’s shoulders to hug her. Her friend was shaking from holding back tears, her previously unspoken fears now bared to the world. “Pea is the strongest boy I know. Strong enough to carry you and your baggage.” Toni said in a reassuring tone.

“You really think he can bench all that?” Lavender asked, her tone a little less depressing and a bit more playful.

“You’ve seen those arms, girl.” Toni replied with a laugh, squeezing her shoulders one last time before pulling away. “And you won’t get rid of him that easily.”

*~~~~~~~~~~~*

Sweet Pea sat with his girlfriend in the examination room of the orthopedic clinic. Lav was finally getting her cast off after having it on for six weeks. Things had been going slow with Pea but not unbearably so. They were connected and nights with him were sensual but there felt like there was a block between them.

Perhaps it was just her that felt that way, but Sweet Pea hadn’t even attempted to have sex with her again. Though things had gotten hot and heavy a few times, there was always something interrupting him. Usually it was Kitty, calling, texting, knocking on the door to Pea’s trailer.

Because they still weren’t open about their relationship, Lavender had been reluctant to simply tell Kitty to fuck right off of her territory. The only ones who knew for sure were Fangs, Toni, and Cheryl. Even the Joneses had been kept in the dark, though Jughead had pretty much figured it out already.

The doctor came in, looking at his chart. “Alright, Miss Rhodes. Let’s get this cast off.” He flashed her a smile before picking up the saw. “You’re going to feel some vibration, okay?”

Lavender nodded as he slowly cut off the cast that had kept her bones in place for six weeks now. After the doctor removed it, she flexed her hand a few times. It almost felt foreign to not have the cast in the way of her thumb. There was a small smile on her lips that caused butterflies to flutter in Sweet Pea’s chest.

“We’re going to do one last set of X-rays just to make sure everything healed properly. The nurse will be in, in one moment.” The doctor said after looking over her wrist, making sure she had a good range of movement. Once he was satisfied, he left once more.

Lavender looked at Sweet Pea, noticing that he was staring at her. “What?”

Sweet Pea shifted uneasily in his seat as he felt a little called out. His neck flushed in a slight red. “You just look happy.”

She looked down at her freed wrist. “I’m glad to finally have that thing off. It was the last evidence I had of anything being wrong with me. Now when people look at me, they won’t wonder what happened. They’ll start to forget.”

Pea let out a soft sigh. Sure she was physically healed but he knew that mentally she still was struggling more days than not. Before he could say anything further the nurse came in to take Lav to the X-ray room.

*~~~~~~~~~~~*

Once Lavender was given a clean bill of health, she and Sweet Pea went to the Whyte Wyrm to relax with the fellow young Serpents. Lavender was shooting pool with Fangs while Sweet Pea sat on the sidelines, waiting to play winner. Of course they all knew Fangs was going to win because Lav was such a terrible player.

They were actually tied when Lavender saw a girl with dark hair fried from too many dye jobs, walk in. Her eyes narrowed slightly and she felt Fangs’ elbow gently jut into her side. “You’re shot, babe.” He said, knowing fully well what was distracting her.

Kitty sauntered over to Sweet Pea, sliding into his lap effortlessly. “Hey Sweetie Pea.” She breathed.

The anger that had slowly been building inside of Lavender for six weeks now finally boiled over. It bubbled through her veins and something deep inside of her snapped totally.

Lavender moved so that her back was to them and leaned over the table. She glanced up at Fangs with a devious smirk on her face.

Sweet Pea stiffened in his seat, not knowing exactly how to react to this situation. He didn’t care about Kitty in the slightest, in fact her constant pining towards him was starting to grow annoying. She always interrupted him when he was about to get laid and Lavender would be so angry afterwards that the mood would totally be ruined.

Lavender lined up her shot in a way that seemed very confusing to Fangs and Sweet Pea. The angle of her stick was all wrong, even for her. Suddenly she jerked the stick backwards, the end colliding into Kitty’s nose. The sound of bone cracking rattled the bar.

Kitty let out a loud shriek, jumping from Pea’s lap as her hand flew to her now bleeding nose. Blood and tears gushed down her face. “What the fuck?” She screeched so loud that the two boys flinched.

“Oh, I’m so sorry.” Lavender said. “I didn’t know you were right behind me!” Her voice was so superficially innocent that it really didn’t fool anyone.

“You bitch!” Kitty lunged at Lav, claws out to scratch at her face.

However, when Lavender wasn’t been blindsided by alcohol, darkness, and multiple assailants, she was actually a pretty skilled fighter. She stepped out of Kitty’s line of fire, grabbing Sweet Pea’s empty beer bottle and breaking it across the back of Kitty’s head.

Kitty stumbled forward and Fangs had to catch her before she fell to the floor. Lav was staring into Pea’s wide eyes. Her own gaze ripe with freshly burned fury that was released as she dropped the neck of the now broken bottle. She grabbed Sweet Pea by the lapel of his leather jacket and pulled him into a deep and fiery kiss.

Her display of dominance was an incredible turn on. Sweet Pea grabbed the back of her head as he kissed her back with the same ferocity. Suddenly he needed her and she needed him, but another romp in the back room didn’t seem good enough.

Fangs was holding a very dazed Kitty, an amused glint in his eye as he watched his two friends kiss passionately. Kitty tried to get her bearings straight but she was seeing stars from the second blow to the head.

“Let’s go, baby,” Lavender said, her lips still lightly touching Sweet Pea’s as she whispered. “I need you. Now.”

Sweet Pea stood up from his seat and wrapped an arm around her waist to lead her outside. As they were walking to his bike, his hand slipped down to grab her ass playfully. Once at his bike, he handed her his spare helmet, “Better prepare yourself, doll. You’re in for a ride.”

Lavender smirked at him, putting the helmet on and getting onto the bike behind him. She squeezed her front tightly against his back, hand dangerously close to the crotch of his pants.

Pea sped off to his trailer where he knew they were less likely to get interrupted. Plus he definitely had a stash of condoms there and he wasn’t sure if Lav had any in hers.

He parked his bike and Lavender tore off her helmet. She leaned into him more to kiss the snake on his neck teasingly before he could dismount. Her hand finally venturing to between his legs to grope him.

He let out a possessive growl at her touches, “Better get your ass inside before you make me fuck you on this bike.” He warned her, making Lav laugh. She withdrew from him and got off the bike. Pea followed after, sweeping her up into his arms to throw her over his shoulder so he could carry her inside.

Lavender let out a squeal of surprise when he picked her up, but didn’t fight him. Laughter erupted out of her as he quickly made his way into his trailer and threw her down onto the bed. She sat up to meet him in another passionate kiss as he crawled over on top of her.

His hands traveled up her legs, thumbs roaming the inside of her thighs. Sweet Pea’s lower lip caught between her teeth and she sucked hard on it in the slightly chapped skin.

Pea greedily tugged at her underwear, nearly ripping them at the seams as he pulled them down. Lavender released him, letting out another laugh. “So, you’re not even going to take my skirt off first?”

He let out a small groan of frustration. “You started this, not me.” He pointed out, referencing to her attack on Kitty since it was probably the biggest turn on he’d ever experienced.

She grinned at him innocently before lifting her hips up so she could discard her skirt as well. “Take your clothes off, sweetheart.” She cooed as she tugged off her own t-shirt and bra so that she was completely naked underneath him.

Sweet Pea admired the view before making quick work of his own clothes. Now that they were both naked, Lav could see how rock hard he was. She gave him a look of pure anticipation. He dove down to capture her lips once more.

He left a trail of wet, sloppy kisses down her neck and down between her breasts. His thumb rubbed over her clit teasingly, causing Lav to let out a whiny moan.

Her legs spread for him eagerly. “That’s right baby, spread your legs for me.” He growled against the skin of her breasts.

A finger ghosted her entrance, producing another whine from her. “Damn, you’re this wet already?” He asked, looking up at her with a very proud smirk on his face.

Lavender shuddered as he moved back to rub her clit again in slow circles. She reached down and grabbed his cock to stroke it slowly. She smeared his pre-cum across the tip, sending pleasure through him that equated to her own.

He reached over to his bedside table and grabbed a condom out of the box just lazily sitting on top of it. Boy had nothing to hide, apparently. He ripped open the gold foil packaging and took it out.

She took it from his hands, “allow me.” She delicately rolled the condom onto his hard penis. Sweet Pea groaned at her touch, his head tilting back slightly.

He regained his train of thought and ran his tip against her slit. Lavender moved her hips to try and get him into her. He shot her a disapproving look before slowly inserting his tip.

She bit her lip at him, “Please, Pea,” She murmured to him. He grabbed one of her legs and brought it up against him so that it was against his shoulder. He kept a tight grip on her thigh and he pushed all the way in.

Lavender let out a moan, finally feeling some relief from all the pent up frustration she had been feeling the past few weeks. At last no one was interrupting them and they could just be.

Sweet Pea stopped when he was deep inside her, simply letting himself enjoy the feeling of being engulfed by her warmth. She looked up at him with pupils blown with passion. The same look always had whenever things started getting intense. He loved it. He wanted to capture it on film and just look at it any time he was feeling low.

He slowly started to thrust, taking himself almost all the way out before slamming back in. It was slow but hard, and every time he went in to his hilt he heard a delicious cry of pleasure come from his girlfriend.

Eventually his speed picked up, thrusts becoming a bit shallower in order to move faster. Lavender’s moans grew with his speed. The fabric of his sheets were bunched in her hands as she couldn’t touch him due to the position they were in.

Sensing that she wanted more to hold, he leaned down. Her leg bent at the hip to allow his body to be closer to hers. Her hands shot up and wrapped around him, nails digging into his skin. Sweets groaned at the sensation, always having loved to feel a bit pain while buried deep inside of her.

He started to pound relentlessly into her, wanting her to hit her peak and knowing that he could get her there quickly. “Sweet Pea,” She mewled, her leg still draped over his shoulder so that he was hitting a deeper angle than he normally did.

“You like that, baby?” He asked huskily, “you like being fucked by your man?”

“Yes!” She cried out, feeling her climax rising just as he wanted it to.

Sweet Pea didn’t let up, he kept moving his hips furiously until she was screaming out his name so loud that anyone outside the trailer probably heard it. A few jagged thrusts later, he came as well and moved her leg to the side so he could rest on top of her.

Lavender tried to catch her breath, feeling overwhelmed with a mass of emotions. Pea’s forehead was resting on her shoulder as he breathed deeply as well. Once he could see straight again he slid out of her and took off the used condom.

After tossing it into a nearby trashcan, he rolled over to lay beside her. They were cramped in his twin bed but it was comforting to be forced to be close together. His arm rested across her waist and he held her tight in his arms.

“You’re going to fall asleep, aren’t you?” Lavender asked once she could breathe normally again. Her tone was light and joking, not caring if he did fall asleep for a nap.

“Hmm,” He hummed tiredly, “considering it.”

She chuckled lightly and turned so her back was against his chest in a spooning position. “Get some rest. Then we can go for round two.”

[smokeybrand]

Ain’t It Funny

It’s wild how insidious trauma can be. That sh*t lingers and poisons but the way that toxicity manifests is insane to me. My ma has very complicated issues with her parents. She feels some kind of way about how her pops didn't live up to her expectations as a parent. He didn’t interact with her the way she needed but, at the some time, she didn’t really take the initiative to show herself to him. My grandpa was an old black dude, from the south, born in the 30s. He knew only what he knew. That narrow perspective is all he had to build upon. My ma was  or in 57 but came of age in the 60s. The culture clash was real. Obviously there was going t be a disconnect but then i was born. You were grown. How do you not make attempts to mend that relationship that you so obviously yearn for? My grandpa has been dead for decades. He died way back in the early 90s. My ma still resents him for things that happened when she was a kid; things they never eve attempted to hash out. I think that’s more regret that it is proper trauma. That’s something inside of her that she needs to work out.

My dad has been dead for a decade and change but there are things that i still physically cannot do. I suffered proper indignities at the hands of this man for an entire third of my life. Fear is wildly destructive, man. That sh*t is corrosive. It eats away at your humanity; your ability to be human. I don’t get to dream. I haven’t dreamed since i was a toddler. Sleep for me is just a sizzle real of my childhood abuse. Every time i close my eyes, i feel that sh*t. I hear that sh*t. I hate that sh*t. The physical, emotional, and mental abuse i suffered at the hands of one of the people who was supposed to unconditional protect me, ruined me before i even had an opportunity to grow. I’ve hobbled together a functioning Person suit that allows me to interact with society but, deep down, i’m just a cornucopia of trauma and abuse. I’ve got a handle of my issues, for the most part, and i try to just go through the motions but I’d be lying if it didn’t get to me occasionally. There’s jut so much. It’s wild just watching how my ma, at 62, is having so much difficulty reconciling certain things that happened to her when she was 12. She’s on the back end and i think that’s as much regret on her part as it is actual trauma. Here i am with a bad heart and night terrors that never go away. Sh*t’s funny, man.

[redrobin-detective]

Lesson One: Be Yourself, Lesson Two: Forget Lesson One

I’m back on my bullshit again with a Wayne Girls shot. I think I’d mentioned waaay back in the day when I was talking about my genderbent Robins/Batgirls that fem-Tim/Tabitha would have a much more complex and kind of ugly relationship with her father. Jack Drake strikes me as a man who wouldn’t be happy to learn that his precious princess was actually a scarily competent combatant. Uh expect more stuff like this because I’m trash. 

“Don’t stand like that,” Jack Drake said in a quiet, irritated voice out of the corner of his mouth while Dana was on the other side of the kitchen putting away leftovers. Tabitha looked over at her father in confusion as she set down the dish she was drying.

“Like what, Daddy?”

“Like you’re about to punch some hopped up junkie drug lord out,” he responded harshly, taking a moment to frown at her in a way he probably thought was intimidating but she’d learned to weather Batman’s disappointment so it was lukewarm at best. Still, she mentally assessed her position and posture. Had the reveal and forced retirement of her cape caused her to slip into fight mode even at home? Her shoulders were back, she was comfortably balanced with one hip jutting slightly off to the side. True, she could be battle ready in moments but she didn’t feel like Robin right now. She felt just like Tabitha Janette Drake, as much as she knew who that was nowadays.

“I’m just standing here, I’m not-” she defended

“Are you two keeping secrets from me?” Dana teased from across the room causing her and Dad to freeze but Dana seemed oblivious to the palpable tension. “Well I think it’s great the two of you are connecting, I’ll be watching TV in the living room when you’re done conspiring.” She added with a wink before leaving the kitchen entirely. Tabitha wrung out the semi-wet dishcloth, trying to figure out how to navigate this awkward situation. Robin training didn’t cover ‘how to cool your parent’s jets about your vigilantism’ if only because pretty much everyone else was an orphan. Dad sighed roughly, rubbing his eyes with one hand while the other braced on the counter.

“Honey, we’ve talked about this.”

“I don’t know what I’m doing wrong,” she frowned back, putting her hands on her hips. “All I’m doing is washing the dishes; you’re the one making this weird.”

“No, this is what I’m talking about,” Dad said, angrily gesturing over at her. “You never used to do this before, you never used to-,” he stopped suddenly, pressing his lips together into a hard line.

“Never used to what?” Tabitha asked with annoyance.

“You never used to talk back to me like this,” he said finally. “Before, before Wayne you used to respect me. It was always ‘Yes, Daddy’ or ‘sorry Daddy’ and you were my perfect little princess. And now, now you’ve got scars and muscles and you’re looking at me like you’re contemplating the best way to crush my windpipe.”

“Daddy, that’s not even close to true,” Tabitha soothed, holding up her hands.

“See?” He gestured back, “Even my name doesn’t sound sincere, it just sounds fake. Everything you’ve been doing since I found out has seemed fake.”

“That’s because it is fake, Dad, it was all just an act to get you off my back,” she snapped before retreating back, demurely crossing her arms over her chest. So much for Father-Daughter bonding time. “I- you and mom didn’t want a scientist or president or, god forbid, a fighter. You wanted a princess and so I played the part, it began long before I approached Bruce and then it became a convenient way to divert suspicion about what I was doing.”

“What? So you faked your entire personality? Jesus Tabitha,” Dad laughed, leaning back against the counter and running his hand through his hair. “I feel like I don’t even know who you are anymore!”

“Well you never even bothered to learn about me in the first place, just as long as I was sweet and pretty and compliant you let me do just about whatever I wanted,” Tabitha shot back.

“That’s not true,” Dad retorted.

“Did you know I used to sneak out late at night and take pictures of Batman and Robin throughout Gotham when I was eight? I caught a plane to San Francisco when I was trying to convince Dick to become Robin again, used your credit card and everything. I’ve come home with everything from split lips to broken bones but as long as I covered it with enough make-up and charm, you didn’t notice. You were too busy chasing after your physical therapist.”

“Tabitha Drake that is uncalled for, you apologize right this minute,” Dad growled, putting his finger in her face. In the past, Beth would have simply lowered her eyes, said what her dad wanted to hear and that would have been the end of it. But now that he’s in on the big secret, taken Robin from along with all her friends, confidence and independence, she’s grown tired of all the deception. She looked him in the eye and gently but firmly brushed aside his patronizing finger.

“You’re right, I’m sorry, Dana is the best thing that could have happened to you but my other points remain,” she said resolutely. “You’re my dadd- my dad, I love you very much but this is who I am, who I’ve always been. It’s true I like sundresses and cute things but I also like punk music, skateboarding and putting together puzzles. Did you know I’m considered one the best bo staff users in the League and people look to me for answers and help. I understand why you don’t like me being Robin but I feel like I was doing something meaningful with my life, I felt like I was finally me.”

“No,” Dad laughed dismissively. “That’s Wayne talking, he turned you into this. You might think you like all this fighting and other nonsense but I know men like Wayne, they make manipulating sweet young girls like you into an art form.” He set his hands on her shoulders, “and now that I’ve gotten you out, you’ll see. You’ll go back to being my little princess and forget all about this nightmare.”

“Oh what, you think you saved me?” Tabitha spat, “like I was some damsel in distress? I was doing just fine before you decided being Robin was ruining my life.”

“You’re just a child, Tabitha, you don’t know what you want and don’t act like I’m some raging misogynist here to crush your dreams,” Dad rolled his eyes. “I’ve always supported women’s lib, your mother was tough as nails and Dana is smarter than me any day of the week. You’ve got to learn being a strong woman doesn’t mean you have to be, well, strong.”

“Because you’d prefer being the strong one in any relationship, usurping Mom’s family company and running it into the ground, pursuing Dana until she caved to your advances. You just want to control me like you have all the other women in your life,” Beth sneered, knowing she was going too far but when one truth came out, the rest tended to come along for the ride.

She saw it in his eyes, in his body language before he even started to move. It began with the twist of his back as his arm came up, preparing to strike her. Time seemed to slow down. She’s stunned in a way, her parents may have been negligent but they’d never raised a hand to her. True, she’d never spoken like this before but it’s still a bit terrifying in its own way. Had he ever hit Mom? Or Dana? Was he going to try and hit her anytime she said something he disagreed with? The open hand approached her and she watched it with detachment, as if it was a scene from a bad movie instead of her life.

She supposed she could let it connect, god knows she’s taken far worse hits. Maybe hitting her would release some of the tension and things could go back to normal. The thought startled her enough that pretty soon her instincts cut through the fog of her emotions and reacted. Her hand darted out and expertly struck his elbow, throwing off his momentum and allowing her to easily grasp his wrist before he managed to slap her. She could easily subdue him from this position but this was her Dad and instead she locked herself before she really hurt him. For a second, they stared at each other with matching looks of horror over what they’d each almost done.

“Are you guys still whispering in there?” Dana called from the other room and the spell was broken. Tabitha’s grasp slackened and Dad pulled his hand away and held it against his chest.

“Oh god Tabitha, I’m, shit, I’m so sorry I don’t what came over me, I- you know I would never hurt you, right baby?” Dad babbled, looking sad and pathetic. The hand that had almost slapped her said otherwise but she decided she’s spilled enough ugly truths tonight. She pulled the curtain closed around her heart and started in on damage control.

“I’m sorry too Daddy; I said some things I shouldn’t have,” she said, lowering her head and playing lightly with her fingers. “Is your wrist okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, quite a grip you have there, Tabby Cat,” and that brought a small smile to her face. He hasn’t called her that in years, hardly anyone called her Tabby anymore. It’s a childish name for someone who punched out people’s teeth on a nightly basis but she liked hearing it none the less. It felt a little bit like normal, even the fabricated normal she’d learned to live with. “And Tabitha, don’t- don’t act like that.”

“Like what?”

“You’ve got to stop pretending, baby girl,” he sighed and turned away from her. “I’m clearly not as good a parent as I thought I was, letting you live this whole other life behind my back. I’ll do better to get to know the real you if you stop hiding behind this imagined person you think I want you to be. Just be yourself, that’s all I want. Now that this Robin nonsense is over with, we have a chance to start over.”

“And what if you don’t like the real me?” she asked quietly.

“Oh I will, I’m sure,” he mumbled before twisting his mouth and looking away. “Come on, Dana’s waiting on us,” Dad said sternly before shoving his hands in his pockets and stalking out of the kitchen. He’d never been much of a liar preferring to ignore and redirect. Her mother had been great at it, telling bold deceptions with a sweet smile. Tabitha wondered if Dad saw Mom in her or if he saw something else entirely. 

Either way, the full truth wasn’t going to do this family any good. Dad was already strained by recent revelations, her constant mouthing off and bossiness would be the final nail in the coffin of their relationship. Bruce and Rachel would give anything to have their fathers here, alive and worried about them, she should make more of an effort to get along. He doesn’t like this new, confident, domineering Beth and he’s seen through her saccharine pretend Tabby so perhaps something in the middle.

She’ll exchange ‘Dad’ for ‘Daddy’ and tone down the sweet, submissive innocence she’s used to sprinkling around him. It’s not quite the real Tabitha who swears like a sailor and can fit 8 marshmallows in her mouth and orders adults and metas around with the expectation of being obeyed but it’s close enough. Well not really but if she’s lying to everyone else she might as well lie to herself.

“Tab, are you almost done in there? Bring out some ice cream when you come,” Dana’s voice carried from the living room.

“Sure Dana,” Tabitha smiled a sweet smile that would fool almost anyone, and set out to do what her stepmother asked. It was what a good daughter did after all.

[fanfic-collection]

Loki x Reader: Therapy Pt2

I couldn’t really decide how to end it so that part I’m not pleased with but mostly just a long drabble and continuation of the first. I really don’t know… hope you enjoy though (written on phone and not proofread)

“Hey Loki, did you know you’re supposed to have a minimum of five hugs a day to be healthy? Anything less and you can end up with health issues.” Loki scoffed, “hardly. I’ve gone months if not years as such.” “And you’re just the model of mental health?” You raised an eyebrow. Loki’s eyes darkened as he scowled. “I’m fine.” He insisted. “Denial is the first step.” You replied, picking at the dough on your fingers. Loki jutted his chin at the bowl you worked at. “What are you making?” “Cookies, we’re having comfort food. Lovin from the oven.” You beamed up at him. Loki looked around the kitchen of his apartment like space in Stark Tower. It had been several weeks since your first session and sometimes it really felt like you were getting places with him. You’d grown quite fond of Loki and he even seemed to not hate you. You wouldn’t go so far as to say he liked you, but it was all about small progress. “Comfort food?” “Normally I wouldn’t say eat your feelings, but honestly, my professional opinion is you could use it.” “You’ve mentioned that you’re not even a professional anything.” “Well that’s where you’re wrong, I’m a professional at making a mess, and I work for SHIELD and I get to act like your therapist.” Loki rolled his eyes, “my brother is the one who needs this therapy.” You shrugged, “everyone should talk to someone, it’s cathartic and stops escalation I think. Imagine if you’d started off with a support system at a young age, who knows how much could’ve been avoided.” Loki glared again, growling, “if Odin had someone like you bothering him as well, I’m sure other things would’ve been avoided.” “Well I guess we can’t deal with other’s actions, only our own.” You shrugged, kneading at the dough. Loki pursed his lips, “I suppose.” “And you owe me after all, my headaches are only just stopping.” You felt slightly bad attempting to manipulate him, but reminding him of his tantrum in such a way seemed to rouse his sense of honor and forced him to agree to work with you. Loki seemed to sense your thoughts but there was no real comment to it, instead he sat down at the other end of the counter and continued watching you. “So what do you intend to do about this hug theory of yours?” Loki finally broke the easy silence. You placed the sheet of cookies in the oven and glanced back over your shoulder. “I think you know.” Loki winced, “I’d rather not.” “Well it’s physical contact. If you have a genuine reason to not like hugs, I will respect that, but I Think you’ll have to tell me it.” Loki shook his head stiffly. You walked over to him and sat down at the chair next to his. Very cautiously, you reached your hand up. Much like dealing with an abused dog, you kept your motions slow and obvious, carefully reaching over and resting your hand on top of his. Loki watched the whole movement warily, surprising himself when he didn’t immediately pull away. “I think you were tortured, so the lasting affects must be brutal.” You whispered, staring at his hand. The one you touched stiffened but didn’t move. Out of the corner of your eye, you could see his other hand clench into a fist and his jaw clench. “It was nothing.” He tried to growl but a haunted look appeared in his eyes. You nodded, stroking his pale hand gently. “It was awful, and you didn’t deserve it.” “Didn’t i?” Loki looked at you. “No one would ever deserve that, least of all you.” You looked up at him, trying to convey your sincerity in every way possible. Loki finally looked away, “the oven is making a noise.” You exhaled softly, not quite sighing but exasperated by the timing. The oven timer was indeed sounding and you hurried to take the cookies out before they burnt, setting them on a tray to cool as Loki watched you. “They’re best warm, but I don’t want you to burn your tongue.” Loki chuckled, “I’ll take your word for it.” You sat back down beside him, eyeing his hand. Your heart fluttered, thinking of the feeling of his strong cool hand resting beneath yours and some unbidden corner of your mind whispered how much you liked it. You cringed inwardly, hoping Loki wouldn’t notice the thought. Risking a glance at Loki, you saw that he was eyeing the cookies thoughtfully, clearly curious of what they tasted like. You stood up, the removal of your hand drawing Loki’s eye back to where you had been. The cabinets were stocked with everything one could need for cooking and for that you were grateful. You grabbed two plates to set the still cooling cookies on and motioned for Loki to come with you to the living room. Loki watched your movements, a surge of protectiveness welling in him as you moved around the kitchen. The concussion had been quite bad initially and your movements had been shaky and cautious, you were far more confident once more and Loki felt pleased, though somewhat abashed that he had been the source of the apparent weakness. He grabbed the plates from you and silently carried them. You opted not to protest, appreciating the kindness in the gesture. Both of you sat down on the couch, munching your respective treats in silence. “Thor has never asked what happened.” Loki finally broke the silence, staring intently at his last cookie. “My own brother didn’t care enough to know.” He mumbled, setting it down and looking at you. You rested your hand on his knee lightly, offering that reassuring touch. Loki looked at you sharply, slowly relaxing again after a moment. “Of course, he’s not actually my brother.” Loki sighed, leaning his head back on the couch and gazing at the ceiling. “Thor considers you his brother, ultimately.” “He’s adopted.” Loki mimicked Thor eerily well. You rubbed your hand over his knee absently, trying to find the right words. “People say stupid things, he wasn’t thinking…” You tried uncertainly. “Thor never thinks, that’s his problem.” “Yea, well maybe you could try forgiving him for messing up, like he’s attempting with you? We can’t hold everything against everyone forever.” Loki looked back at you, his gaze lingering on your forehead where the mark had finally faded. “Do you forgive me for hurting you?” “As soon as it happened, seriously, I knew I’d heal and I did. You’re hurting badly Loki, I knew what I was getting into.” “It doesn’t make it right though.” “No, but I appreciate you showing regret for it. You’re not a monster, you’re capable of seeing that you hurt me.” “Yes, I suppose that’s true.” Loki sighed, “so much has changed in the last few years, it’s naive to wish for how it was.” “By the sounds of it, it wasn’t that good in general, there was just a major catalyst that finally set real shit in motion.” Loki laughed weakly, “yes, that’s true too. I think for Thor’s sake, I would prefer it the way it had been, he didn’t look at me with such concern and doubt.” “You scared a lot of people. Not just with the attacking earth thing.” Loki glanced at you but didn’t speak. “He lost his brother, got him back in a way that no one can still comprehend and you’re still hurting.” You shook your head, “I can see traces of it in your eyes, I just wish I could take that pain away somehow.” You snapped your mouth shut, surprised to have admitted that out loud, or maybe you thought it. It was hard to tell with someone who could read you like a book, or just read minds, it was hard to tell what Loki could and couldn’t hear. “I appreciate the sentiment.” Loki muttered, resting his hand atop yours, “though I still don’t want pity.” “I guess it sounds like pity.” You sighed, “it’s just messed up that someone capable of such humanity, even though you’re not technically human but you know what I mean, just so much emotion and intelligent.” You trailed off, worried that you were idly flattering him. Loki laughed, “no one has ever said such things to me.” “Comes with the territory I guess, being in the shadow of the older sibling who can do no wrong.” “Yes, Thor, my dear brother, always so perfect.” “You know what I meant. I’d talk about the bad things he’s done but that might just validate you in other ways and ruin the progress we’re working on.” You smiled ruefully. Loki mirrored your look, “yes, you did say we were only to discuss him in ways it affected me to help myself.” The two of you looked down at your hands, his practically holding yours, still in the same position. You blushed, pulling away. Loki’s hand lingered a moment, holding it in place before allowing you to return your hand to your lap. Instantly you missed the feeling of his hand pressed against yours, a rush of similar thoughts flooding in unheeded. Loki blushed too and looked away. “I do enjoy our time spent together.” You smiled, “I’m glad, same time tomorrow?” Loki turned to look back at you, just as you moved to press a kiss to his cheek. Your eyes widened as your lips pressed to his yet neither of you moved to pull away. At long last, you pulled back, face flushed and head shaking, “I’m sorry,” you stammered, “I meant as a friendly thing I didn’t…” You trailed off, “I should go.” Loki stayed silent, washing you rush from the room. He watched you sadly, his lips still tingling where yours had been.