#and just like that judd wants to retire again

[dawntainbobbynash]

Look, Cap, I really like where your heart is at, but do you really believe that this is the best idea?

Is it the best idea that we run into burning buildings? No, but we do it anyway. Why?

To save lives.

Couldn't save the owner's life, but we can save his.

[averageartistamber]

My Thoughts on the possibilities for Splatoon 4

Alright, with the Grand Festival currently going on, I thought I'd chip in with my thoughts on what the next entry in the franchise. So prepare for a decently long yap session.

So, first of all, we have that point made in the Nintendo Direct about 3 being "the finale of this Splat-tastic Saga". What I believe is meant by this is that 3 is the last game with the Squids Vs Octopus conflict as the throughline for the story. Splatoon 4 is going to shift it's focus on a different part of the lore/world and have a very different main conflict in its story mode.

A lot of people were saying its the end of Splatoon as a whole, but I find that unlikely given how successful the franchise is. I also see folks saying that the next game won't have any of the old characters, which I also think is unlikely. I feel like we'll definitely still see the Idols again, they will just be more in the background (ie. You won't have Callie and Marie as your Mission Control in Hero mode...But you might get the new idols doing that.). They could drop the New Squidbeak Splatoon (ie. the Agents), but I think they'll be refenced somewhere.

They're not gonna get rid of all the old characters. We'll probably still have Sheldon running the next hub area's Ammo Knights, for example.

I do hope they do more with Deep Cut at some point, and it would be nice to see Agent 4 again, since all of these characters were underutilised in 3 in my (and many others) opinion.

Second point, the Splatfest itself: Past v Present V Future. Since Splatoon's "present day" occurs in real time, I don't think we're gonna have a huge time skip backwards or forwards in Splatoon 4. I think like with 3, the winning team is going to determine the setting and "vibes" of the next game.

If past wins, the hub area will be a historic, traditional town, maybe it'll be set in Calamari County, from the Squid Sister's backstory? We could them see what Craig Cuttlefish gets up to in his retirement (and if he's still stuck in Squid Mode).

If present wins, I think Splatoon 4 might be set in Inkopolis or Splatsville again, but maybe for the latter things have improved a bit thanks to Deep Cut's adventures? (the story mode could play into this and give them some much needed focus).

Another possibly for present could see one of the Octarian domes as the setting if present wins, and the story is about helping the people out and making the place liveable again. This could form a very nice conclusion to DJ Octavio's character, if they want to fully commit to him being redeemed and improving things for his people.

If future wins, we might arrive in a high tech, maybe very wealthy city. This location would very likely be completely new, maybe even in a completely different part of the world. So who knows what'll happen here.

Third point: Plot foreshadowing that is in the games.

Okay, so we know that Lil Judd is likely going to be a Big Bad at some point, highly likely the next game. It's heavily implied that he's the new owner of GrizzCo Industries, taking over in Mr.Grizz's absence. I wonder how he could use the company...They did say they'd "find good use" for the 1.5 Billion Golden Eggs we stole collected during the Grand Festival Big Run.

Which you'd think is disconnected from his plans to overthrow Judd, but I'm sure Nintendo can cook up something. Even if it makes no friggin' sense for the character (side eyeing RoTM), it's at least be cool.

The Octarians seem to have made peace, Kamabo Co. dissolved with Tartar's destruction, and Mr.Grizz the Capitalist Space Bear is...Probably chilling on the moon now (although there is potential for GrizzCo to get involved, see above.). Overlorder and the Jelletons are contained to a VR game, and the former seems to be slowly rehabbed by Agent 8 kicking their ass over and over again.

The Salmonids on the other hand...

We also know that the Salmonids have been given much more importance in Splatoon 3, with Big Run and all that jazz. Our beloved Gremlin Fish are also the only big "villain" faction that still exists as of Splatoon 3. (Well, until Nintendo makes another new one.) They have, like, organisation, and ramping up their war efforts and have Full On Goddang Kaiju in their ranks. Plus the numbers done on them in the Big Runs.

Just saying, I'd be pissed too if my population was decimated because some Boneless Teenagers care more about seeing some celebrities sing songs in a desert than respecting another race of people that are different from them.

Something very Fishy will likely be going down in Splatoon 4.

Of course, at this point I also think there's a very good chance that the next Splatoon game will be a spin-off. Pretty much anything goes. A lot of people want a game about the Great Turf War. Maybe Squid Beats will become its own dedicated game (very likely a phone game.). Pretty much anything could go here.

Anyways, I might not play the game that much (and even then exclusively Salmon Run), but I'm invested enough in the world and characters to be excited about what happens next.

What do you guys think?

[messymindofmine]

911 Lone Star Redemption Week!

Thank you @lemonlyman-dotcom for tagging me and @lonestar-s5countdown for starting this!

1)Which 911 Lone Star character redemption is your favorite?

Owen hands down. Tbh, with the exception of maybe TK, I can't think of any character that has specifically had a "redemption journey" as such. At least not in the way I would define it. Mistakes and growth is obviously a central theme of the show but I think Owen is the character that has had a series long redemption arc. And I think Owen is actually very important in what he represents. This is a man who lost his entire crew in a tragedy that quite literally changed the course of history as we know it. And that wasn't even the beginning of his trauma. He carried the guilt of his brother's death into adulthood and that guilt and trauma was compounded throughout his life. People can dismiss Owen all they want but I think that in many ways the type of representation he brings to the show is just as important as that of Tarlos, Paul, Marjan etc. What we see with him is the reality of how a lifetime of loss and trauma scars a person. And you know what? Owen is actually the ideal scenario because even at his worst, he still loves and cares for the people around him. Even his most annoying moments are borne from his desire to help others. Most of all, Owen makes sure that the people he cares about don't make the mistakes he did. Had it not been for him, who knows how Judd would have survived his PTSD? And I know people have mixed feelings on this but I think him bringing the 126 together the way he did was far more about him bringing together kindred souls who needed each other than him saving anyone. And I will never understand the people who say Owen is a bad parent because while he is obviously not perfect, nobody can deny that he loves his son more than anything in the world. And actually, that is another reason why I picked Owen for the best redemption arc. I think his redemption is so beautifully intertwined with TK's. Owen's grief and trauma obviously affected TK as a child and as he got older that childhood trauma of watching his father spiral led him down his own dark path. I think TK and Owen are the most beautiful and realistic example of a parent-child relationship not only because of how much the love each other but also how a parent's trauma can impact the child. But despite it all, they remain so close and are unafraid to openly express their love for each other.

2) Is there a character you think deserved an more of an onscreen redemption moment than we got on the show?

Hmm I don't really know. I guess I would have liked to see more discussion regarding Owen's father and how it would have felt knowing that Robert got to experience all the things Owen never did. I don't know how they would go about redeeming a dead character that we only had about 5 minutes of or if that even counts as redemption but I would be interested in exploring that more. And I would like to see TK be a part of that as well. I wish we'd gotten a scene of Owen actually telling TK about Robert.

3) Is there a recurring (or even one-time guest) "villain" that you would like to see return with a redemption arc? Or if not, is there a "villain" you absolutely would not want to see get a redemption?

I know he did kind of get redeemed in s3 but I wouldn't be opposed to seeing Billy Tyson again. Actually, I think it would be interesting to see him now after everything. Now that he and Owen have reached a truce and there is no more rivalry over the firehouse, what is Billy doing? Are he and Judd still in touch? Has he retired? I'd be interested to know what's going on with him now.

4) Are there any unresolved conflicts from the first four seasons that you wish were reconciled onscreen?

I know that the popular answers to this are usually the Push arc or 4x01-4x04 and I totally agree with both of those but for the sake of the post, I'm going to go with something different. I wish we'd gotten to see more of Mateo coming to terms with what happened to his cousin and how it impacted his family. He carried that guilt of his cousin going to jail for the first time to cover for him but we don't know what his relationship with the rest of his family is like as a result. Do they even know that Marvin was just covering for Mateo? Do they blame him for the path that Marvin took? Did Mateo see or talk to them after Marvin's death? All we got onscreen was his cousin calling to tell him that Marvin was dead. I just found that storyline interesting because it added depth to Mateo while also connecting two separate characters played in different shows by the same actor in a really fun way.

5) Which character would you like to have a more developed backstory?

Nancy. As things are now, she is the only one who we really don't know anything about for sure. I like that LS doesn't do "Begins" episodes the way 911 OG does because I prefer how we have slowly gotten more backstory for the characters and there is still more about all of them that we don't know but I would like to have some solid backstory for Nancy. We do know she has a sister and she was picked on in school. I feel like that could be potentially interesting and allow us to see how she ended up as a paramedic. Maybe she was a science geek and ended up performing first aid on a classmate which inspired her. Maybe her sister has a chronic illness and she was inspired by helping take care of her. She resuscitated that woman against her will so I feel like there is a strong basis for the latter theory.

As always, I'm going to leave this an open tag and invite anyone who wants to participate to do so. And if anyone wants me to tag them, please let me know!

[iinryer]

If you could come up with the storylines for each Lone Star character (not Owen) for the next season, what would they be?

OH THIS IS A GOOD ONE��� (not owen) made me laugh thank you. this didn’t end up being Quite what you asked but here are my hopes for s5!:

marjan is easy: comphet realization to lesbian arc. I don’t even need them to give her a gf i just want them to Address The Closeted Lesbianism they’ve been handing me over the past four seasons. i want salim to come back (in person or in conversation) for the rule of threes and have it force her to reckon with a lot of assumptions she had about herself. im on my hands and knees about it. I’ve been rewatching with a friend recently and i fucking forgot that they have her say a line about how her favorite place to hide as a kid was the closet. remember those new bts photos where she’s basically wearing the lesbian flag as a headscarf. lone star writers room i am IN YOUR WALLS. also i want to meet her sister. i need someone to call her mouse

nancy my beloved… honestly i just really want a nancy begins episode!! i want to know why she became a paramedic, i want to know about her relationship with her sister and if there’s any particular reason it was a soft spot for her during the DNR episode… I don’t have any particular ideas for specific i just want to know more about her!!! actually I’d love her to have to confront Tim’s death a little more directly. they made that whole thing about Owen which is fucking crazy to me, I’d love for the next time TK gets hurt (lol) for it to be something that dredges that up for her.

grace… miss grace i want to see you angry again. no plot line in mind i just like it when she’s pretending she doesn’t get angry or stubborn, she is such a fascinating character study. i love when she’s a contradiction. she and carlos teaming up was one of my favorite things abt s3, i would be so jazzed to see more things of that flavor.

tommy. hm… I don’t think I have any particular storylines for her in mind but I want more of her and grace and judd together because they are so delightful and lovely and best friends. OH ACTUALLY. I want something with tommy and charlie. this baby that was named in honor of the late love of her life. o don’t know what that story would be but there’s something there for sure…

carlos is the same as nancy tbh, I want a real full carlos begins! I want to meet his sisters! I want to see more of the mess that was growing up gay and feeling out of place and trying to be what your dad would want even though he thinks you’re too soft for it. why did he do it anyways! I also would love to see him and his mom being more involved, partially because obviously they had a horrible loss and trauma and she saw it happen but also because I love andrea:) she’s everything 2 me

judd I have been waiting for them to make you captain since SEASON THREE!! i want owen to retire and i want them to expand on the tension we got for the period he was captain!! i want to see how the dynamic changes and how his past issues come up when he’s in charge For Good. i want to see him get emotional about it and i want him to be captain while wyatt is his probie if they put him back on the firefighter track after his recovery :) bc that would be fun conflict and i think everything they did with owen (traumatically lost whole crew, son on your team) would be 100x better with judd

mateo is also a difficult one for specifics. I feel like they’re relatively fair with him? even with the low screentime all the secondary characters are relegated to. I’d be interested in seeing more fallout about his cousin, and I LOVED what they did with him and captain tatum so anything of that flavor of earnestness from him is always so good. maybe he and tatum will be buddies off the clock :)

tk getting hurt in increasingly absurd ways is always a classic that I look forward to them playing into lol

misc: i want to see more big brother wyatt with charlie getting a little older, i want less owen solo-plotlines, more ghost/memory gwyn i love her, carlos with his curls, the vega twins being involved in something maybe? that would be fun and stressful gjfhdhf

EDIT: OH MY GOD I FORGOT PAUL. I ABANDONED MY BOY. ok paul deserves literally any kind of robust plotline. Paul begins for starters, but also so much of his trans plotlines feel a little fumbled. I want a really earnest well done episode that isn’t necessarily About him being trans, but his transness is a factor and it’s handled in a really genuinely good and relatable way. they OWE HIM AND US THAT!! i also would love to see more of the gay kids being in gay spaces :)

[housesitting & snowed in send enrichment to my enclosure]

[chicgeekgirl89]

Chapter 7: Getting Naut-i

Thanks to @cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut and @carlos-in-glasses for the Seven Sentence Sunday tags. I'm going to raise you the penultimate chapter of Come Sail Away instead! Tagging @lemonlyman-dotcom, @bonheur-cafe, and @ladytessa74 if you'd like to share some sentences with us! Also thanks to @lemonlyman-dotcom for the title inspiration on this one!

Read on AO3

“Ma’am, I promise you. No one on this boat would steal your diamond earrings,” Nancy says calmly. “I’m sure they’ve just been misplaced.”

Everything about her seems serene and unflappable, but T.K. knows that under the surface she is calling this woman a thousand terrible things, and rightfully so. This group of guests was supposed to be off the boat thirty minutes ago, but they’re still here. And now they’re accusing the crew of theft. A parting blow to what has been an absolutely exhausting charter.

From the second Frank King and the rest of his party stepped onboard they’d demanded. Drinks. Food. Water toys. More drinks. Food. Drinks again. Their late night partying went on into the wee hours of the morning every night and the boat was always a disaster by the time they finally retired. 

Frank sent his food back at least once a meal, claiming the beef was overcooked, the sauce too salty, the soup not hot enough, one thing after another after another. At least two of the women made repeated aggressive passes at Paul, to the point that Judd had switched the whole schedule to move him onto night watch and keep him as far away from their guests’ grabby hands as possible.

Frank’s niece, a woman fresh off her twenty-first birthday had gotten so drunk one night that she’d tried to jump off the boat and then been so ill they’d had to call a doctor onboard.

So needless to say, the Firebug crew is done. They want these people gone. But Frank’s wife is missing her diamond earrings and apparently nobody’s leaving until they’re found.

“I SAW HIM!” Delilah King is screaming at Nancy, a finger pointed straight at T.K. “He was in my room every day of this trip!”

“Yes ma’am, because that’s his job,” Nancy says, her tone finally taking on a bit of a biting edge. “If you’d just move out of the way we’d be happy to help you find your earrings and finish packing.”

“I don’t want a single one of you touching my things!” Delilah tells her, her voice shrill. “I want him to confess and tell me where they are right now or I will sue all of your asses!”

“Ma’am, I promise you, I did not touch your earrings,” T.K. says for the fifth time since this debacle began twenty minutes ago. “I never even saw them.”

“I put them on the nightstand every single night and they are not there!” Delilah says. “If it wasn’t you, then it was someone else! You’ve got Mexi—“

“Ooh, I recommend you don’t finish that sentence.” Tommy strides down the hallway, her voice steel, eyes hard. “I will not have you harassing my crew and making racist comments. Not on my boat. I am going to give you two options. Option one: you go sit upstairs in the salon while we do a thorough search of your room and belongings to find the earrings. Option two: I call the harbor police and have you escorted off immediately. Which would you like it to be?”

Delilah’s mouth snaps shut and she glares at all of them. “I want you to find my damn earrings,” she finally says.

“Excellent. Nancy, T.K., and Iris will start searching immediately. We’ll give them fifteen minutes. If they still haven’t found them, then we will discuss our options after that. Now go on upstairs and hopefully we’ll have good news for you soon.”

Delilah turns and stomps away down the hall. Tommy waits until she’s out of earshot then drops her voice low. “I hope to god you can find those earrings because I need this woman off my boat as fast as humanly possible.”

“Copy that Cap,” Nancy says, exhaustion on her face as the three of them head into the primary cabin to try and find the stupid diamonds. 

“I don’t understand why people get so obsessed with diamonds anyway,” Iris says as she starts shaking out pillowcases. “They’re just shiny rocks. And most of them are obtained by people with horrendous working conditions.”

“Yeah well, Delilah doesn’t really seem to care about anybody’s working conditions, does she?” Nancy says as she yanks open drawer after drawer, running her hands along the sides and bottoms.

T.K. is only semi-listening as he sorts through Delilah’s make-up bag, which takes up an entire half of one of her three suitcases. Her skincare routine must take hours.

This charter was brutal and he wants it over now. Being accused of theft is the rotten cherry on top, even if no one onboard would ever actually believe him capable of stealing. All he wants is to get back into his bunk, preferably with Carlos on top of him, and forget this charter ever happened. 

Aside from this charter, their last three weeks together have been perfect. Carlos is sweet and kind and so freaking good in bed it blows T.K.’s mind, among other things. He has no regrets about hearing Carlos out and offering him forgiveness. In fact, he can barely remember how he made it through life before Carlos Reyes swept into the Firebug’s galley and stole his heart.

There’s a flash of sparkles as T.K. opens yet another pocket. “Is this them?” He holds up two glittering studs.

Nancy holds out her hand and he drops them into her palm for inspection. “Has to be, right? Unless this lady’s got more than one pair of diamonds?”

T.K. shrugs. He wouldn’t be surprised. The Franks seem to have more money than God. 

Nancy closes her fingers around them securely. “I’ll take them up to her. Unless you’d like to do the honors?”

“No thanks. If I never see Delilah again it will be too soon,” he tells her.

“Great. Then you two can stay here and repack all of her belongings. I give you full permission to do it as shittily as humanly possible without causing any permanent damage.”

One of the things that makes Nancy a great chief stew is that she’s not above a minor amount of pettiness when called for. Iris and T.K. both grin at her and then delight in shoving all of Delilah’s possessions back into her three suitcases in the most chaotic manner possible.

“So,” Iris says as T.K. tosses her one Louboutin to put in the large suitcase while he shoves the other into a side pocket of the small. “What the hell kind of kinky shit were you and Carlos doing this morning that required ice?”

Carlos had told T.K. that Iris was aware of their burgeoning relationship, and she’d been nothing but supportive, helping them keep it quiet from the rest of the crew as they explored their feelings for each other. 

“There was a slight accident,” T.K. tells her, biting back a laugh. 

Things had gotten rather enthusiastic before breakfast service and resulted in Carlos smacking his head into the underside of the top bunk so hard that he’d seen stars, putting a swift end to their sexual escapades. T.K. had immediately pulled on a pair of boxers so he could run and grab some ice for the giant goose egg forming on Carlos’ head. He hadn’t realized Iris had seen him rushing into the galley. 

“Is that what the kids are calling it these days?” she asks skeptically.

“I’m serious,” T.K. says with a laugh.

“Okay. Whatever. I’m glad you guys are happy. He deserves to be with someone good. So do you.” She stops packing and looks him dead in the eye. “But if you hurt him, I will chop you into pieces and feed you to a shark.”

The thing about Iris is that you can never quite tell if she’s serious or joking. T.K. decides to err on the side of caution. “I won’t,” he says. It’s barely been a month, but somehow it feels like he’s been waiting for Carlos his entire life. He doesn’t want to do anything that would push him away.

They finish the packing and then call Marjan and Mateo to help them drag the bags out to the dock. They join the line-up with the rest of the crew to bid the guests farewell. Delilah doesn’t thank them at all, instead choosing to head straight off the boat without a word. Her husband laughs and throws out a joke of an apology before handing Tommy a very thin looking tip envelope and then heading down the passarelle.

“And good riddance,” Paul mutters under his breath, the rest of the crew murmuring in agreement like they’re responding to a pastor during a Sunday sermon.

“Let’s all say a little prayer that our next charter is a bit more relaxed,” Tommy tells them. “First round of drinks is on me tonight, all right?”

That gets a more enthusiastic response and then the group breaks up to go change and start the never-ending process of turning the boat over. T.K. follows Carlos to their cabin, and the second the door is shut Carlos reaches for him, concerned eyes searching his face. “Are you okay?” he asks. “I heard what happened with Delilah. It sounded like it was rough.”

T.K. sighs and lets himself sink into the safety of Carlos’ arms. “I’m fine,” he says. “Just exhausted. It sucks, you know? To put in so much work and then be accused of theft. Like all the hours we gave them meant absolutely nothing.”

“I know,” Carlos says, rubbing a hand slowly up and down T.K.’s arm. “Tommy knows too, right? She doesn’t think—“

T.K. shakes his head. “She knows. It’s not an issue of trust on the boat. It just sucked. That charter sucked and those people suck and I hope I never have to see them again.”

He lets his head drop into Carlos’ chest, breathing in his scent and letting himself be comforted by the weight and warmth of Carlos’ body against his own. Carlos' arms wrap around him and he presses a kiss against the crown of T.K.’s head. It’s so wonderful and soft and…

“I don’t want to go out tonight with the crew,” he says his voice muffled in Carlos’ shirt. “I want to stay here. Alone with you.”

“We can do that,” Carlos says. “I don’t need to go out.”

“Then everybody’s going to know we’re together,” T.K. says, still buried in his shirt.

There’s a brief silence and then, “I think…I think I’m okay if they know,” Carlos says carefully. 

T.K. lifts his head. “It’s okay. I wasn’t trying to push you into something you’re not ready for.”

“I know,” Carlos says. “But this crew is so different from my last boat. You were right. It feels like a family. And if they’re your family, they’re going to be okay with us. Right?”

“They’re your family too,” T.K. says softly, eyes searching Carlos for any sign that he’s freaking out. “I promise they’ll be supportive.”

Carlos nods, determination on his face. “Then let’s stay here.”

It melts T.K., the softness, the joy of his needs and desires being met. He’s told Carlos a lot over the past few weeks about New York, about his addiction, the relapses, the break up with Alex, and the subsequent overdose. It’s come out in the moments between the kissing and the sex, the quiet parts where they’re just breathing, sharing the same space. He’s not sure why he feels so safe with Carlos, comfortable enough to share those dark moments with him, but the way Carlos listens and cares for him has proven that he’s worthy of T.K.’s trust and adoration. 

So hours later, when the work of the day is done and everyone is showered and dressed in their best, T.K. takes Carlos’ hand and leads him out into the crew mess. Everyone else is already there, the weight of the past charter melting off as they laugh and joke and drink together. 

“Is that what you’re wearing out?” Iris asks, eyeing T.K.’s joggers and t-shirt critically.

“Actually,” T.K. links his fingers with Carlos’, “we’re going to stay here tonight.”

There’s a beat of silence and then Marjan snaps her fingers. “Pay up Mateo, you owe me fifty bucks.”

“No, I said they would get together before the end of the charter,” Mateo shoots back. “It’s after thecharter. And they haven’t even officially said they’re together!”

“They don’t need to say it, look at ‘em!” Judd says. “They’re holding hands. Ain’t nothin’ in this life ever made me want to hold somebody else’s hand other than being romantic.”

“They’ve been together for three weeks,” Iris says, smiling smugly that she has information the rest of the crew hasn’t been privy to.

“See? Hand it over,” Marjan says, wiggling her fingers expectantly.

Mateo grumbles under his breath as he fishes for his wallet.

“You had a bet going?” T.K. asks, a little surprised. He’d thought they were doing a pretty good job of keeping their PDA to their cabin.

“You two have been making googly eyes at each other ever since Carlos got here,” Paul says with a roll of his own. “It was only a matter of time.”

“We’re just glad the two of you are bunking together,” Judd says. “You can keep whatever you got going on in there away from the rest of us.”

T.K. laughs and watches as Carlos blushes in embarrassment. “Yeah and FYI, T.K. is your responsibility now Carlos,” Nancy says. “I’m not sure if you know yet how much nonsense this dude can get up to, but it’s a lot. Iris and I are out. He’s all yours.”

“I’ll…do my best?” Carlos says, looking slightly confused.

“All right, that’s enough,” Tommy says with a smile. “We’re going to be late. Let’s get a move on.”

The groups rises and starts to head up the stairs, all of them with shit eating grins on their faces, a few making whistles and snide little remarks as they go by. T.K. actually shoves Paul when he walks past because he looks so annoyingly pleased that T.K. and Carlos have been found out. Tommy is the last to go. “Congratulations boys” she says. “I trust this won’t interfere with our daily operations?”

“No ma’am,” Carlos says immediately and T.K. nods his head in agreement.

“I didn’t think so. Enjoy your evening.” She takes a step up and then pauses. “And just a reminder that Dave is staying behind to watch the bridge. So keep any um, activities,” she looks right at them, eyes twinkling, “behind closed doors unless you want an audience.”

Carlos turns red instantly and T.K. has to hold his breath to keep from laughing as he stammers out a reassurance to Tommy that they will be the picture of decorum.

“Oh my god,” Carlos says as soon as they’re gone, collapsing into a seat at the crew mess table and burying his face in his hands. “I take it back, I care that they know.”

T.K. laughs again and steps toward him, putting his hands on Carlos’s shoulders. “They’re brutal, but it’s all out of love.”

Carlos looks up at him. “You didn’t prepare me well enough for that.”

“I didn’t realize that was my job,” T.K. says, eyes shining with mirth.

“What exactly do they mean that you’re my responsibility now?” Carlos asks curiously. “What ‘nonsense’ are they talking about?”

“No idea,” T.K. says innocently. He’ll mention the multiple comas, the near drowning, and the sinking of the tender boat another day. “Should we order a pizza?”

“Or…”

“Or…what?” T.K. asks.

“Or we could make pizza.”

“Or,” T.K. counters, “you could make pizza and I’ll watch.”

“Nope.” Carlos stands and grabs his hand, tugging him along toward the galley. “If we’re making pizza, you’re helping.”

They put on music and dance around the galley, singing along badly as Carlos pulls together ingredients for crust and sauce. It takes way longer than ordering a pizza would, but it’s ten times better. It’s silly and fun and there’s so much kissing and touching that by the time the oven timer buzzes T.K. is thinking a lot less about food and a whole lot more about just getting Carlos into bed as fast as he can.

The pizza is delicious. Carlos apologizes that it’s not better and says that with a pizza oven and different ingredients he can really make it incredible, but T.K. tells him to shut up, that it’s perfect, and they end up eating the entire thing.

They clean up after and then T.K. persuades Carlos to take a dip in the hot tub. They do a fast change into swim trunks (Dave is watching after all, there will be no skinny dipping tonight) and then climb the stairs to the top deck where the hot tub sits open and inviting beneath the streaky pink hues of the setting sun.

T.K. climbs in first and then watches as Carlos sits down across from him. “This is really nice,” Carlos says, sinking up to his shoulders in the warm water. “A hot tub with a view.”

The way his eyes lock on T.K.’s make it clear he’s not just talking about the sunset and T.K. feels a jolt of pleasure at being the focus of Carlos’ attention. “It’s pretty amazing on this side of things too,” he says as Carlos sits up a little, water glistening on the toned muscles of his chest and abdomen.

They sit in the quiet for a few minutes, listening to the early evening sounds of the marina, the sky slowly darkening around them, the stars and the moon appearing out of nowhere, dotting the night with their brightness.

“Do you still feel good?” T.K. finally asks, the question that’s been sitting in his chest for the last few hours. “That the crew knows we’re…”

He’s not sure how to label them, not sure what they actually are other than romantic roommates. “That we’re what?” Carlos asks. 

“I don’t know,” T.K. says, mulling it over. “More than roommates?”

“Definitely more than roommates,” Carlos says. “What do you want us to be?”

“Carlos I—“ The words he wants to say stick in his throat. He’s not sure how to express what’s going on inside him. “I think you’re amazing,” he finally says.

Carlos’ face breaks into a beautiful smile. “I think you’re amazing too.” He takes a beat and says, “We don’t have to put a label on it. I know things with Alex ended badly. I don’t need us to be put into some kind of box. I just want there to be an us.”

They’re the words T.K. needed to hear, even though he didn’t realize it. He moves forward through the water so he can sit next to Carlos. “I want us too,” he says, his voice breaking a little. “I want it so much.”

“Good,” Carlos says. “Then that’s what we’ll be. Just us.”

He can’t take it anymore. He reaches out, cupping Carlos’ face in his hands, thumb gently playing with his earlobe before he draws Carlos to him, lips meeting in a kiss that has become blissfully familiar in the last few weeks.

It takes about three seconds for Carlos to open up to him, lips and tongue and teeth and all, his own hands finding T.K.’s thighs under the water, scooping him up as if he weighs nothing and then hauling him sideways into his lap for better access. Everything is wet and warm and T.K. delights in how easily his hands slip and slide over the muscles of Carlos’ back.

He shivers when Carlos’ teeth sink into the shell of his ear and then glide down his neck, his tongue rough and slick against T.K.’s skin, tasting him again and again until T.K. can barely remember his own name. 

Things are happening below the water line, bathing suits hiding very little at this point and T.K. makes a pathetic sound when Carlos pulls back, everything in his body screaming for more. “We need to go below deck,” Carlos says, his eyes dark and full of lust in a way that makes T.K. uncertain they’ll make it all the way there. “There are things I want to do with you that Dave shouldn’t see.”

They towel off quickly, neither of them fully dry as they stumble their way across the deck leaving wet footprints on the teak in their wake. They only make it as far as the privacy of the stairs before Carlos pins him against the wall, his body clearly ready for anything T.K. wants, kissing him and rutting their hips together until T.K. is whimpering into his mouth.

Neither of them is aware of the water pooling around their feet from their dripping bathing suits until they almost slip down the stairs and die. One of Carlos’ arms slams into the wall with bruising force, the other wraps solidly around T.K.’s waist, saving them both. “Why is sex with you always so dangerous?” he asks, breathless, half laughing, half still terrified from their near disaster.

“Do you want to stop?” T.K. asks.

“Not even a little.”

T.K. grabs his hand and pulls him down the stairs, stopping on the second floor where the guests usually stay. “Where are we going?” Carlos asks.

“Do you trust me?” T.K. asks.

“Absolutely.” His response is quick and certain.

T.K. tugs on his hand, and reaches for the doorknob of the master suite. “Didn’t you already clean in here?” Carlos asks as they step inside.

The room is opulent, starched white sheets and comforter on the king size bed, polished wood gleaming on the walls, marble countertops and that gaudy lion tap staring at them through the open doorway of the en suite. T.K. spent two hours in here today getting it ready for the next charter, but right now he couldn’t care less about whatever rich ass people will be in here tomorrow afternoon. Even if he has to clean it all again, it’s worth it.

“I thought this might be a little safer than the bunks,” he says, locking the door behind them.

Carlos’ hand goes to his head self-consciously, clearly remembering the near concussion he received this morning. “Great idea. Do we need to get—“

“I put everything in here earlier,” T.K. tells him. 

Carlos smiles, his eyes flashing with something dark. “You thought ahead.”

“Yes. I did.” T.K. pushes his swim trunks to the floor with a wet splat and looks deeply into Carlos’ eyes. “Take me to bed Carlos Reyes.”

[pimento-playing-hopscotch]

Fox reran the “Double Trouble” episode tonight, and I wanna TALK ABOUT IT.

-The line I can never let go of because I cannot fathom it, my “Austin is a small town” my lil Sebastian, as it were- how is sending your boyfriend $25,000 on Venmo such a casual thing?!?!

Like who does not think of this as a lot of money??????

This season did a really good job of giving everyone a chance to shine and have a story- EXCEPT FOR NANCY!

And the only story we get is that she can casually lend someone $25,000? (And that hand wavey answer is just that- too hand wavey and not sufficient).

This episode proves we need a Nancy backstory yesterday- like please explain this!! Or any backstory on miss Nancy Gillian would be welcome, but I need to start with the why she just gives that away like it’s no big deal.

Speaking of which…

Why is Wyatt getting more story than Nancy? Presumably this is his first girlfriend and he’s already gotten her pregnant and dropping out of school to support them? (Like Judd told TK when Owen got Gwyn pregnant, that’s some powerful stuff Wyatt has got… though I don’t think Judd would appreciate the irony).

Not that I mind the Wyatt becoming a firefighter- I didn’t see why it had to be followed up with Wyatt becoming so injured Judd decides to retire though- (and again, why he get more story than my girl Nancy)

Is Mateo really only 23 years old?? Mateo says he burned the middle school down when he was 13- next scene Owen mentions confessing to a ten year old crime that’s been paid for- Mateo is only 23??? So he was only 20 the first season? I don’t know why but this is surprising to me- (maybe it’s just me that was surprised by this)

And then-

“I’m sorry you lost Marvin. But I don’t want to lose you”. My heart 🥺🥺

(And this may verge on too cheesy but looks-like-I’ve-got-another-kid-now Owen is my favorite Owen and he was mostly absent from season 3 and I love season four for bringing this Owen back- as much as I loved they’ve kept the Mateo lives with Owen storyline a thing) 🥰🫶

[carlosandhistwinktk]

I got this tag from @corsage (sorry for this being late🌚)

(1) Which 911 Lone Star character redemption moment is your favorite?

I would say, Owen’s redemption with TK is the most and the main favorite mine besides Carlos being confident in his own skin with his family about his sexuality and relationship and TK finally yet slowly maturing within age (mentally and emotionally wise) as you see in a fashion sense and how he treat others and himself.

(2) Is there a character you think deserved more of an on screen redemption moment than we got in the show?

I wish to see how Grace and Judd are going to do now that Judd retired from 126 to take care of them, and Wyatt as well which I know we’ll get more of now since Grace won’t be in the show anymore as far as we know, and that would be a great moment between them. Or Iris and Tk moment building their relationship with each other bc Tk seemed to get along with Iris.

(3) Is there a recurring (or even one-time guest) “villain” that you would like to see return with a redemption arc? Or if not, is there a “villain” you absolutely would not want to see get a redemption?

Okay, but there’s barely any as the “main” villain so bare with me, Sadie ass shouldn’t be out here at all and if so imma need her to get clocked in the face by either Nancy or Marjan again (maybe TK even but he probably doesn’t hit women but still she’s not exempt) but one villian redemption I wanted was Trudey being at the wedding she was so sweet and had the right idea but the wrong intentions of being a “good mom” and trying to make her son love her by enabling his abuse and murder sprees.

(4) Are there any unresolved conflicts from the first four seasons that you wish were reconciled on screen?

Tk and Carlos fight about Iris, that whole episode pissed me off bc none of it was TK’s fault at all sis was kidnapped and I know it’s be “reconciled” but what I want from this was an apology from carlos and his mother and Iris getting on his ass for that.

(5) Which main character would you like to have a more developed backstory?

Grace and Nancy! Like I want to know deeper about her family line, not just about her relationship with Judd (which I don’t mind btw) and Nancy and Mateo’s relationship felt like it just came out of nowhere and the chemistry just felt forced and there was no build up leading up to them “hooking up” and her being bisexual, like I would’ve loved to hear her talk about her previous relationships men/woman, as a use of advice for either TK or Carlos or the rest of the 126.

Im sending this off to @cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut to do this if you haven’t yet 🫶🏾

[zealous-whispers-of-us-redux]

i'd die for you

Summary: Sometimes, Bucky wishes that she acted like a real omega. He doesn't mean to tell her this but does anyway. Mistakes have been made.

"You're a dick," she says, tugging on the chains that bind her to the bed.

Bucky grins.

"Yer just lucky I knotted ya before I did somethin' drastic," he says.

"And this is what exactly? Something easy?"

"Naw, pretty omega, my little sun, no," Bucky coos. "This is punishment for mouthin' off."

She didn't mind it when Bucky asked her if he could tie her up. His eyes had looked a little feral around the edges thanks to his rut. They have done this many times before, though in a different way. Usually, Bucky is the one tied to the bed, unable to escape, but his rut makes him want to take control and stay on top of her all night. She makes a pretty picture, naked and held down in their nest so that she can't move. Still, she cannot stop running her mouth, but Bucky doesn't mind. He likes seeing her come out of her shell, sassing him, and swearing.

Bucky turns to the chest of drawers and opens the top one. He sifts through his clothing until he finds the thing that he wants- a tie to stuff in that pretty mouth of hers, while he gets busy stuffing some other part of her, and then again, and again, and again, and then one more time until the fire in his veins has cooled enough for him to sleep.

"You're hilarious. When you mess with the bull, you get the horns, right?" she throws back.

"Heh, good reference."

"What do you mean?"

"Breakfast Club," Bucky explains, turning back around.

"The what?"

"You know," Bucky says, "John Hughes, young Molly Ringwald. Judd Nelson."

"Who?" she says.

"Gods, never mind. It's like talkin' to someone in a retirement home."

Pressing a hungry kiss to her lips before balling up the tie and shoving it between her lips, Bucky looks down at her fondly as she continues running her mouth right up until-

"I'm sorry I'm not as cultured as you are, you furry- mpf!"

"There we go," Bucky drawls, pleased. "You look good enough to eat, all spread out for me. You look so sweet, baby doll."

"Mpf!" she cries around the tie in her mouth.

"Why, of course, omega-mine," Bucky says. "You are so welcome to show that pretty little pussy for me."

She flips him off around the chains connecting her to their bed. Bucky cackles and jumps on the mattress, stalking up to her like a predator. When he's hovering over her completely, cocky smirk firmly in place, he kisses her forehead.

"We gotta keep you quiet. Ya talk too much shit."

She snarls, jaw ticking around the tie. There is an itch in the back of Bucky's head, and he notices his hand reaching for the tie in her mouth. The call gets stronger, and his hand moves nearer like it's separate from his body. It takes him a moment to realize that it's her making him feel that way. It's the vampire ability of enticement, right. Weaker beings have quavered and fallen under her spell, but she cannot make Bucky one of them. Not when he finally has her exactly where he wants her. Bucky slowly shakes his head, bumping his thumb against her nose at the same time. Back and forth. Back and forth, and she hisses, trying to wiggle free.

"None a' that, baby. You're all mine tonight," he says.

She throws her head back and groans loudly. Bucky clicks his tongue.

"I know, I know, honey. Imagine how I feel. What with this boner an' a sassy omega who don't listen?"

Her fangs have slid free from her teeth and are poking out from the tie balled up in her mouth as another snarl works its way up from her chest. Bucky shakes his head, clucking again. He stretches himself, sprawling over her and almost taking up the entire bed. She grunts as she takes his weight but quickly adjusts, continuing to struggle.

"Stop movin'. You ain't gettin' outta those chains," Bucky says, tapping her nose. "Now, are ya gonna present for me?"

Her head shakes as both middle fingers make an appearance. Bucky sighs. His desire is creeping back over him, making his dick thicken between his thighs, leaving him hard and leaking as he brushes himself against the soft skin of her hip. The entire bedroom reeks of sex, not that that isn't necessarily a bad thing, but it makes Bucky insatiable. His baby doll isn't submitting yet, however. She's angry. He smells burning wood, like a forest fire, and the distinct scent of her has melted as she lets her fury wash over her. The heady scent of her desire and her sweetness is nowhere to be found-just the fiery scent of his arousal and Bucky's eyebrows furrow in response to his discovery. She isn't even remotely aroused.

Well, fuck.

Instinctively, Bucky leans towards his omega and looks at her, concern creasing his forehead. The alpha in him is screaming at him to protect, soothe, love! Instead of mount, present, fuck! As it had been for the last half hour. Bucky isn't some horrible alpha who would fuck his omega without making sure she wants him as much as he wants her. He's screwed everything up. Hesitant fingers tug the tie from her mouth, and as soon as he has thrown it across the room, she is scolding him with a scowl twisting her pretty face.

"Why am I in pain, Bucky?" she snaps.

"What? Where?!"

"My wrists are burning. These are the iron chains, you dumbass. I told you where the good chains were, but you grabbed the wrong ones!"

"No, I didn't," Bucky says uncertainly.

"Yes, you did! I'm burning up from the inside out!" she says. "Brooklyn, Brooklyn. I'm safe-wording."

"All right, all right, all right," Bucky says, sending a calming feeling through their bond, "I have the key right here. I'll get you out."

He really should have seen her next move coming, but he is a bit of a mindless alpha only concerned with knotting his omega right now. As soon as he unlocks her, she springs, knocking Bucky to the ground and holding him down with all of her might. Bucky growls, trying to get free. The rings on her fingers must have silver in them because Bucky cries out in pain as they touch his bare skin. Where the fuck did she get those?

"Silver?" he gasps.

"Oh, are they?" She lets go of his neck immediately, looking apologetic. "Gods, I'm sorry. I didn't know. I got them at a thrift shop."

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Bucky growls. His neck burns. She was trying to kill him.

"I just said I didn't know. I'm sorry, okay? Anyway, like you can talk, with your iron chains," she says, showing her burnt wrists.

"Fuckin' piece a' work, you are," Bucky barks. "Don't even fuckin' know how to be an omega!"

"You're being a bit dramatic. I just don't like being treated like a hole to stuff full of your cum, Buck."

"I'm not bein' dramatic; I want an obedient omega!" Bucky spits, his emotions going haywire underneath the weight of his rut. "Round an' round this goes, every time we do this. 'M sick of it! Barton said this would come back to bite me in the ass, matin' with you!"

She recoils as though he has slapped her. It takes him a moment to realize why, but once it does, his eyes widen, and he hastens to explain himself.

"Wait, wait, wait, hold on, no. I take it back. I didn't-"

"Why don't you find another wolf then?" she interrupts coldly, but her eyes look damp with bloody tears.

"I don't- I didn't mean to say that, sunshine," Bucky says weakly.

"It sure sounded like you did."

"I- I didn't, I swear I didn't. No, wait!" Bucky reaches for her, his fingers brushing against her bare leg as she springs off of him.

She starts digging through one of Bucky's drawers, and he sits up, watching her.

"What're you doin'?" he whispers.

"Here."

She throws a toy at him, striking him in the chest. He used to use one of these fleshlights on his rut, built for an alpha's knot like an omega wolf would be, but it isn't the same now, and they both know that. She glares at him. Bucky hesitantly picks up the toy, and she huffs, slipping on her sneakers, a pair of shorts, and a long shirt, then leaves the room. The door slams behind her, and he groans, flopping back on the carpet. This is unacceptable. This is the third time he's mentioned on his rut that he hates that she isn't a proper omega wolf.

"Damn it," Bucky curses, dropping the toy and sitting up.

His emotions are all over the place. He is still sporting a semi, but he doesn't care anymore since the only thing he wants right now has left him alone. He probably deserved that. Bucky tugs on a pair of boxers, and he walks over to their giant window, pushing it open and stepping out in the fresh night air. It feels good on his heated skin, and it calms him down, clearing his mind. Bucky gnaws his lip. She has run away. Far this time, as her scent is nowhere to be found. Just like the night that they had met. Without thinking, Bucky launches himself from the balcony and lands on the ground with a heavy thud.

He sticks his nose in the air, sniffing for a good minute and a half before he smells her. She is still mad. But there's something else there too — something he has never smelled on her before. It's bitter and acrid like Bucky has been simultaneously sucking on a lemon and inhaling the stench of rotting flesh. It's fear, Bucky realizes with a jolt. His omega is terrified. He is sprinting off as fast as his feet can carry him before he even has a second to process things. The alpha in him is screaming 'protect,' over and over until he's drowning in the sensation, rage filling him, and he wants to tear apart whatever has his omega so scared.

Skidding to a stop within a clearing of the dark woods, Bucky can barely make out the shadowy figures surrounding her. His growl is loud and clear, telling whoever is surrounding her to back the fuck off. Protective instincts well up in him so strongly that he gets dizzy. Bucky won't let this happen again. She will never get hurt while he's around. He gets in between his omega and the rutting alpha. He hears her whimper.

"Sh," Bucky murmurs, not taking his eyes off the alpha hiding in the shadows.

She makes another little noise, and the scent of her pain reaches Bucky's nose. He bares his teeth at the wolves. His omega is hurt, and there is no other explanation than these wolves. And hurting a bonded omega, especially the omega of a pack leader, is against werewolf law.

"She's fuckin' mated assholes," Bucky barks.

The wolves ooze out of the darkness then, and Brock Rumlow puffs out his chest as he recognizes Bucky.

"Barnes. Nice seeing you," he says.

"This ain't your territory, Rumlow."

"Well, no, but just imagine my surprise when I smelled such a sweet little thing out here. She was all alone, Barnes. What was a wolf to do?"

"Leave her the fuck alone, maybe?"

"What if I make you an offer?" Rumlow says casually. "What if we share, just for tonight. You and me, and I think Jack wants a turn. But he can go after us. He doesn't have a rut; he wants to fuck something. What do you say?"

"She's mine."

"Says who?"

Bucky growls warningly.

"Says that fuckin' mark on her neck. If I find out you hurt her like I think you did, I'll fuckin' kill you."

She presses herself against Bucky's back, shaking like a leaf. She nods in response to Bucky's silent question through their bond about whether or not she is hurt. Bucky doesn't even consider his next move before he rears back and punches Rumlow squarely in the nose. The cartilage shatters easily under his fist as Rumlow's nose starts bleeding.

"Don't you ever fuckin' talk to her! Don't even fuckin' look at her! She's mine."

"She's a pretty little thing," Rumlow goads. "Pretty little body to break on my knot."

"Shut the fuck up."

"Why don't you want to share? Does big ol' Bucky Barnes care about a vamp of all things?"

"Bucky," she whispers, putting her hand on his shoulder to stop him or encourage him; Bucky isn't sure.

"Hey, sweetheart," blurts Rumlow, ignoring Bucky in favor of his omega. "You tired of him yet? I know you're a vamp, but I don't discriminate."

She leans her head on Bucky's back, unsteady breaths that she doesn't need passing her lips. Bucky would think that she is in pain or terrified, but he can smell it on her now. She is still scared, but with every word that Rumlow says, she gets angrier. Underneath his own anger, Bucky feels a flicker of pride.

"Yeah, darlin'?" Bucky asks, ignoring Rumlow to focus solely on his omega.

But Rumlow keeps running his mouth:

"Bet we could have fun, you and I. If you don't mind, a little iron to keep you in line, of course."

"Let's shut him up," she whispers in the language of her homeland.

"Hell, yeah," says Bucky before he launches himself at Brock Rumlow.

Rumlow is slightly weaker than he, and they slam into each other so hard that it makes Bucky disoriented. They land together on the cold ground and wrestle, each trying to get the other to submit. Both alphas are on their rut, a dangerous combination. They are fighting to kill, and the prize? The vampire. Bucky's soulmate. His side splits open on one of Rumlow's claws, and Bucky howls in pain. He sinks his teeth in Rumlow's shoulder.

"I bet she'd scream so good." Rumlow spits blood on the ground around a mouthful of wolves' teeth. "With the fucking I'd give her."

Bucky's vision goes red, and he growls the loudest he has yet. It is like a roar that silences the forest, but Rumlow doesn't back down, not even after Bucky wraps his bicep around his neck and starts to choke him. Rumlow struggles, but Bucky squeezes harder until he becomes distracted, realizing that she isn't where Bucky last saw her. He twists his head and sees her grappling with Jack Rollins. She is bleeding from a bite on her forearm. Bucky snarls at Rollins, but he can't help her, not now when Rumlow is still trying to cleave Bucky's torso in half. Bucky blinks, and Rollins slams into a tree so hard that the whole thing sways. She's quicker than he thought.

"She'll pay for that," chokes Rumlow. "After I knot her, I'm cutting her head off."

"How are you still talking?"

Directly above them, hidden in a tree, Bucky sees a small figure leap down. He rolls out of the way just as she lands on top of Rumlow without so much as a sound.

"You'd do well to stop talking," she adds, perched on Rumlow's chest like it's nothing.

She and Bucky don't look at each other, but her plea flicker between their bond. Rollins lays unconscious but alive, and as much as Bucky wants to kill Rumlow, his omega doesn't want him to. He knows that if he said yes, she would help him. She's pretty good at tearing hearts out of chests. But Bucky agrees with her (for now, anyway) that they can't afford to start something with another wolfpack. So, Bucky drops Rumlow, who gasps for breath.

"Get it now?" Bucky says.

Rumlow growls, scuttling away as Bucky walks towards his omega. He falls to his knees and kisses her stomach, looking up at her with sorrowful eyes.

"He wouldn't shut up," she says. "Why wouldn't he shut up?"

"He won't ever fuckin' come near you again. I'll tear his head off first."

"Buck."

"Don't you ever run away on me again," he says, nosing the hem of her shirt up and then pressing his mouth to her bare skin. "My heart can't take it."

"But-"

"Look, I was wrong, okay? I'm always wrong. I don't want an omega wolf. I want you, an' I fuckin' know that I do the same thing on my rut every damn time, but it's just the rut talkin'. I went too far today, an' I'm so fuckin' sorry. I don't need a wolf. I need you, baby. Don't ever run away like that again. I was so fuckin' scared."

"You saved me."

"I always will. My sunshine, I'd die for ya, did you know that?"

"Oh, Buck," she says before she meets him on the ground and squeezes him tight.

"I'm here," says Bucky, burying his nose in her neck. "It's okay. You hurt?"

"Not as bad as you, baby."

"Don't worry about me; I'm healin'. You wanna go home?"

"I'd like nothing better."

"Okay," Bucky says. "Lemme carry you."

When she is safe in his arms, curled up against his chest, Bucky turns back and starts heading for the house.

"I'm sorry about the rings," she says. "I didn't know."

Bucky hums.

"I know. It's okay. I'm sorry I grabbed the iron chains."

"I forgive you. If I'm honest, I don't even remember why I had them in the first place."

"We should start labelin' things, huh?"

That brings a smile to her face. She laughs, agreeing with him. Bucky glows at being the cause of his favorite thing in the world.

"We'll have to," she agrees. "After your rut, of course."

"Yeah, after my rut," he says.

It is creeping up on him again. Bucky holds her just a little bit tighter. She snuggles into him like she's trying to hide from her thoughts.

"What?" Bucky asks.

"Can I- I mean, when we get back, would you mind if I -hmm- if I-"

"If you what?"

She does not say it out loud, seemingly too embarrassed to, his sweet baby doll. Instead, she hesitantly pushes the idea across their bond in crude approximations of the real thing, almost like a badly drawn portrait of a parent by a child. Bucky startles, understanding immediately what she wants.

"Yeah," he chokes. "Yeah, you can."

If his steps get faster, she does not comment on it.

[chaoticornot]

Lone star s03e18.

The season finale, let's go. The big question is, do Tarlos get engaged? And I am curious how hurt Judd is going to get?

So he has cancer again? Do we now get the storyline that I thought was going to be season 1? Also, I don't want Tk to get engaged or married just because Owen is sick. That sounds bad, but I want Tk to make a decision and, especially that one, for himself and Carlos and no one else. And to not feel rushed. Like sudoku, Why is that image so funny? Like, I see him sitting in my head. I love the team's reactions. They are also right. The fact that they fought about this and Tk had to explain his superstition to Carlos is a hilarious image. That was unnecessarily harsh, Owen. I am surprised that Owen hasn't forced him yet. Grace is so amazing. How she stayed calm for Wyatt while not knowing if her husband was alive. Well, at least it is his bad leg. I knew that this was all going too well. Stupid Owen. Tk's face is killing me. Why not use his radio if it works? I am confused. Is he dreaming? Metaphors? Where is he? Yay, they got him out. I was like, why are they acting so strange and now I get it. Gwynn with the good advice when the boys are dying. Tk shouldn't be allowed to work the scene, right? Damn, that's symbolic. His little voice when he says, You knew. Ouch. Owen is right, but it hurts all the same.

How Tk strokes Carlos's hair to wake him up. I love Carlos's brain. Smoke? Lizard? Haha. Tk's smile. Tk's face has so much adoration for sleep-addled grumpy Carlos. OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG. I am freaking out. You can't say that so casually. OMG. Especially when Carlos is not awake. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. I am crying. That was the most beautiful speech I have ever heard. They did it justice. The tears. "Tyler, can I say yes now? Can I say yes now?" Shut the fuck. The foreheads touching. Everything about this is everything. The banter, shut up. They are so cute. I want this.

I am feeling an Owen retirement arc. I love Tk's suggestion, they should definitely do that. At least the put a ring on his finger part. They are glowing, btw. Carlos's titties are so noticeable through this shirt, I am not complaining, though. Tk is standing on bursting. His cheeks. Awwwwwww. I am curious how they tell the others, but I love this moment with the youth, so to say. Fungal infection, that is fantastic. Could you imagine how this conversation sounds to other people? Congrats Wyatt!! Yes, Owen, growth.

I loved this episode. The proposal was amazing. The only complaint I have is that Carlos doesn't have a ring on his finger yet. But that can be solved. 

I am so excited for next season and can't wait. Especially for the wedding. With the 118. I also want to see them tell their parents and Judd and Tommy. That is everything I have in my head right now, maybe more will come later, but I am already going to post this.

[ickletheficklepickle]

I have watched next weeks promo over and over and over. Just to see who gets shot. It can go so many ways. I really just don’t want it to Buck, listen, I love me some Buck getting hurt but I just would like my boy to not be the one who ends up in the hospital Eddie would be nice, as he hasn’t been in danger and with Ana in the picture it would be interesting to see how she reacts to him getting hurt. Would she have the same reaction as Ali?  Because if it is Eddie there is one thing I would like to happen, I would really like it if they played into Eddie and his PTSD. . In Eddie Begins when he opens the case that holds the Silver Star Award he gets lost for a few seconds in the memory of that night, he hears the gunshots and the voices of his teammates.  We know that he still remembers that night, it’s there tucked away in it’s mind This is a perfect opportunity to add more depth to Eddie’s character and to knit that into the story line.   I mean that shit doesn’t just go away-especially if Eddie bottles it up. I mean look with Judd in Lone Star. I think that there’s so much more things you can do with Eddie’s character.  I had a teacher in high school, who often in class would have like flashbacks because something would set him off. If that happened someone had to run and get the principal. He retired I believe that same year that I graduate high school. I am not good with age guessing, but my school Teacher was WAY older than Eddie and still has memoires of his time at War.  Like with Buck and Chris?! With what happened after the tsunami, I would like to know how they feel about going to the ocean now? What about going back to the pier?   As someone who almost drowned as a child, I have moments of panic in the water, especially if my feet don’t touch the ground. If I am wearing a life vest that is no problem. And I haven’t figured out why and it’s been like maybe 25 years since that incident.  Anyways, I’m straying. MOVING ON.  PROMO! YES! Re-Watched it over and over. Trying to figure out which of our FireFam could possibly be in danger. 

But, after re-watching the promo over and over and then heading into the comment section of Youtube- because let me tell you there are some people who are so good at seeing things I don’t. I believe I know who it is that gets shot.  And now I desperately need it to be need Monday.  I hid who it was below the cut, just in case someone wants to be kept in the dark. Unlike me, where I just need to know because I will have anxiety just  thinking about it and possibly throw myself into a panic over who it is. Also I just would like to emotionally prepare myself.  I can’t be crying again! 

WARNING! WHO I THINK GETS SHOT WILL BE REVEALED IF YOU CLICK ON KEEP READING. 

It looks like it’s Bobby that will get shot. IT IS QUICK! But there’s like a mili second/split second. It’s around the part where the person is closing the doors of the storage unit. And you can only see the back of the turncoat of that person who is closing the door. But the turncoat, it says Nash. 

[northoftheroad]

The Robin 80th Anniversary Special

It's not a secret that I'm first and foremost a Dick Grayson fan, whether he comes dressed as Robin, Nightwing, Batman or something else. But I try to be charitable and be happy for fans of the other Robins that they got a pice of the birthday cake, i. e. the Robin 80th Anniversary Special.

For your enjoyment (?), here are my thoughts about the book. Spoilers ahead, obviously – don't like, don't read!

I honestly thought almost all of the stories were ok – but pretty forgettable. Marv Wolfman's spin on Dick leaving to become Nightwing, in "A little nudge" (art by Tom Grummett and Scott Hanna), is probably the only one I will remember and reference in the future. I don't know if or how it is supposed to fit into the (any?) continuity, but as far as I can see, it works nicely in the current setting.

Dick's parting from Robin and Bruce was successively portrayed as more and more hostile. When he originally left Robin to become Nightwing (1983–1984), the two still had a good relationship. This changed in comics to, first, that Bruce decided to retire Robin, and then to that Bruce outright fired Dick and kicked him out of the cave. This lead to that their relationship was portrayed as poor, antagonistic even, for a good many comics years.

The bad mood was picked up by Batman The Animated Series, where Dick left being resentful of Bruce and his methods.

I don't have a lot of good things to say about what has happened to the Bat-family after Flashpoint. But from what we've seen from scattered panels, Dick was the one who decided he wanted to leave Robin. You can read Marv Wolfman's story as confirmation of that. Which is nice.

Bruce is only a little bit of a jerk in this story, being utterly rigid about that Robin has to follow orders. Dick, however, chooses to stay with a kid that had been shot instead of following the criminals.

Dick has had it with Bruce's rules and leaves the cave, but he says "later" rather than "goodbye".

It's made clear that those strict rules were Bruce's way to say, "I know you've grown up, and you should move on; I'll be fine without you."

Batman # 408, where Bruce decides to retire Robin because he got scared when the Joker shot Dick, is firmly established in my mind as the "correct" leaving story in my mind. It was the only one I had read and knew of for many years, and the two still part on decent terms. But Marv Wolfman's 80th Anniversary version has a lot going for it.

On to the rest of the stories...

"Aftershocks" By Chuck Dixon, art Scott McDaniel and Rob Hunter.

Set during Cataclysm (a storyline from 1998) where Dick lived in Blüdhaven before he moved back to Gotham and became Batman. It's an action-filled story where (fingerstripe) Nightwing comes to Gotham after an earthquake has hit the city.

It's interesting to read this, living through the corona crisis that is going on right now. I don't know how it is where you live, but where I am, people are setting up networks to help people who can't go out to shop or walk the dog, University students are helping kids do their math lessons with the help of Facebook, people make masks for health workers etc. But when Chuck Dixon writes what happens after a catastrophe, Dick has to fight his way through masked thugs who are trying to rob an ambulance of "painkillers and tranks" when he tries to save a cab from falling with a damaged bridge. A woman is giving birth inside the car, and the story ends with that the mother wants to name the boy after Nightwing.

"Well...Robin works, right", he says.

"Team building" by Devin Grayson, art Dan Jurgens and Norm Rapund.

Well, I'll always soak up everything that has to do with Dick and the Titans – Teen Titans, New Teen Titans, Titans, any Titans...

Devin Grayson wrote The Titans 1999–2000, which is the setting of this story. Most of it takes place inside a H.I.V.E. locale, where an exasperated boss (Damien Darkh) chews out his soldiers after a fight with the Titans. But Darkh decides not to kill the lot of them, because they did distract the Titans while he stole a red crystal/power source. Of course, it turns out Dick is the soldier who has kept his helmet on; he takes the crystal with him and gives Darkh a bit of advice on team-building on his way out.

"Generally speaking, fear of execution isn't a great motivator. I've found basic team-building and morale-boosting to be much more effective. Like, I'm just spitballing here, but... You ever consider a pizza night?"

Well, it did keep me amused, and it shows us that Dick is a good leader and strategist, (and a great acrobat who manages to get out of the H.I.V.E. uniform with one hand, on the way out), although it isn't exactly a surprise that Dick was in the building when you get near the end.

"The Lesson Plan" by Tom King and Tim Seeley, art Mikel Janín.

Now, I do like some things about the Grayson run, but with a bit of distance, I've realized it was mostly the art. The sexualization of Dick and how King and Seely wrote him as a guy who jumps first and plans never got tiresome. This story is in-character for Grayson; Dick is accompanied by a girl (Paris) from St Hadrian's on a mission, and on the way, he remembers the lessons Batman gave him and imparts his own interpretation of them to Paris. As is Batman says, "plan everything", and Dick says "Improvise. Leap first... figure it all out on the way down." Ergo, classic King and Seeley. Also, it is possibly implied Dick made out with a beautiful girl that turned out to be gorilla in disguise...? Yep, vintage King and Seeley.

Other than that, I don't have a big problem with the story. Some things ring true to me – as when Dick remembers Batman saying, "At their core, people are cowardly and self-serving. Trust no one until you know them. And even then, never completely". And what Dick says is, "Give the benefit of the doubt until you gotta knock 'em out."

For my own peace of mind, I'm reading this as Dick is half-joking with his advice. It's not like we've never seen him make plans and be suspicious post-Flashpoint.

On a side note, one of the best characterizations of Dick Grayson to my mind is a panel from Black Mirror. When Dick explains he had injected James Gordon Jr with a subdermal tracer, and says about himself, "I am a softie. And I do try to see the best in people... but that doesn't mean I'm stupid."

Detective Comics # 881. By Scott Snyder, art Jock and Francesco Francavilla.  

"More Time" by Judd Winnick, art Dustin Nguyen.

Jason has a cute story about him repairing Thomas Wayne's watch as a present to Bruce. He started the work as a tiny Robin (too tiny, in my opinion, but with Dustin Nguyen on art it probably couldn't turn out any other way) and finished the work as Red Hood. Jason delivers the present to Bruce on his birthday, placing it on the Batmobile while it is parked in a Gotham alley.

"Extra Credit" by Adam Beechen, art Freddie E. Williams II.

Tim has an appointment with the guidance counsellor at Gotham City High School. Tim sees a future in law enforcement (that's the first I've heard of that, but I'm no expert on Tim) and he's adopted (again, something I haven't seen post-Flashpoint). But the counsellor doubts that Tim will be admitted because he has nothing to show when it comes to extracurricular activities. It's kind of a fun few pages where the counsellor suggests things that Tim could do, and Tim thinks about what he does as Robin on his spare time.

"Boy Wonders" by James Tynion IV, art Javier Fernandez.

Tim, Red Robin, is unsure what he wants to do with his life and goes to his brothers? fellow Robins? for advice.

I know emotions have been running high because Dick tells Tim that he is "demonstrably smarter" than he is, which makes it sound as if Dick is not really smart at all.

Again, for my peace of mind, I choose to read this as I want: that "big brother" Dick is encouraging, he has always thought highly of Tim, he has no ego to preserve. This doesn't make Dick a reliable narrator on the subject, and the page ends with that Tim thinks "He was the first. He's the best. He's always going to be the role model. "So, two brothers who admire each other.

Tim also talks to Jason and Tim, and the story ends with that he tells Batman he wants to start Gotham Knights protocol, the team in Detective Comics (Rebirth.) 2016-2018.

"Fitting In" by Amy Wolfram, art Damion Scott.

Stephanie, as Robin has problems because Tim's Robin suit doesn't fit her female body. But at the end of the day, Bruce gives Stephanie her own "changing room" in the Bat-cave, because she's female.

...are Bruce and Alfred idiots? Did Dick, Jason and Tim have exactly the same body type when they were Robin? Stephanie deserved a story worth being told, not this one.

"My Best Friend" by Peter J. Tomasi, art Jorge Jimenez.

Jonathan Kent writes a school essay about his best friend, Damian. As he writes the words on his laptop at home, they are illustrated with pcitures of the two as both Robin and Superboy, and as Damian and Jon in civvies. Tomasi and Jimenez worked with Super Sons (2017–2019), and though I didn't read that, I'm pretty sure this story is an extra chapter in that series.

"Bat and Mouse" by Robbie Thompson, art Ramon Villalobos.

It's not the worst story in the book, but somehow the one I disliked the most. It is part of what is going on in Teen Titans and Bat-titles right now; we see Alfred's tombstone and how Batman and Robin have a strained relationship and difficulties in communicating. I'm not keeping up with what is going on with Damian and Bruce in detail, so I really can't say whether this story is consistent with how things have been going lately. I'll let Bruce-and-Damian fans take that ball.

To be honest, my reaction to "Bat and Mouse" is probably due to that I really, really don't like what's happened in the Bat titles lately. I firmly hope that the current situation will be changed and Alfred will be alive again, and I wish I could go back and re-read this book years from now without being reminded of this very dark time when DC seemingly doesn't want any money from me for new comics...

Being who I am, I probably take it waaaaay too seriously to try to understand where/if these stories fit in the DC continuity... The writers have probably (rightly) thought more about writing a good story than making it consistent with any grand plan for a timeline for all of the DC universe. But whatever.

The Grayson story clearly happens in a post-Flashpoint universe, as does Damian's and Tim's stories. But Tim says he's adopted, which I believe has never been said outright post-Flashpoint. And Stephanie has as far as I know not been Robin in this continuity. Chuck Dixon's Nightwing story is explicitly set during Cataclysm (a storyline from 1998) where Dick lived in Blüdhaven before he moved back to Gotham and became Batman. Post-Flashpoint, he moves to Blüdhaven for the first time in Nightwing vol 4., so Dixon's story should take place in the old continuity.

On the other hand. The last pages of the book are made to look like profile overviews in the Bat-computer and use pictures from different Robin runs. If the snippets of information are supposed to be the current continuity for the Robins, a lot from the pre-Flashpoint universe is back in canon.

Shortly, Dick was adopted (that's the word they use), formed the Teen Titans, moved to Blüdhaven and was Agent 37 for a while. Blüdhaven comes before Agent 37, but it's not explicitly stated when he first moved there. Because if Dick was in Blüdhaven before his time with Spyral, it is inconsistent with parts of Rebirth Nightwing. (Which I can live with...)

Jason's story starts as the street kid who tries to steal the tires of the Batmobile, his stint as Robin was short, and today, Red Hood has formed a tenuous alliance with Batman. Tim uncovered Batman's secret and made a bid to become the new Robin – and his new moniker "Drake" is acknowledged. Stephanie was Robin for a very short while. Damian was created with genetic material that Talia stole after a romantic tryst with Bruce, and he was bred to be an assassin.

Personally, of course, I think that Dick Grayson was worth more of an effort from DC on his 80th anniversary. But on the whole, the things we got were decent, "A little nudge" gave me something I will keep with me, and several of the covers are great.

(The cover photo is still pinched from Dan Jurgens' Twitter – I haven't bought all of the variant covers.)

[movedto-jewishbucke]

no one: my gay ass: AU where TK (lead vocalist, guitarist) is in a rock band with Marjan (drummer, backing vocalist), Judd (guitarist...?), Mateo (bassist...?). I don’t know if the entire band’s aesthetic is, like, vampire-y or if TK is just gay and over-dramatic so his stage persona is a vampire but yeah... vampires.

TK’s freshman yr of college he was kicked out of his acapella group (yes you read that right) b/c they found out about his drug addiction (which he liked to believe he was managing) and he kind of threw himself into his work (he was a hobbyist songwriter lmao). one Friday night he ended up playing a solo performance at an open mic night with one of his original songs and Marjan (a freshman at his college) happened to be there and afterwards she approached him like “hey wanna start a band” but like... a little less blunt (but not by much).

Marjan found out about his drug addiction pretty quickly b/c turns out he was only great at hiding it from his dad, but she didn’t really comment on it or even let him know that she knew. (she did tell him that he could always talk to her if he needed / she was here for him, but she didn’t explicitly talk to him about his drug problem.)

their junior year they ended up holding auditions to add another member to the band which is when Mateo joined the band. (also, for shits and giggles: a couple members of TK’s old acapella group auditioned and even tho he knew they weren’t going to accept them, he let them audition JUST so he could tell them they sucked.)

it wasn’t until a year after graduating college, and a lot of rejections, that they finally signed to a record company and shortly after that, Judd joined the band. (he’s kind of like an older brother/father figure to them but they still have a lot of fun on stage/touring despite this. after they’re done with a performance, he typically retires to their hotel room to video call Grace b/c he has lovey dovey syndrome.)

Michelle is a huge fan of the band and it’s only partly due to the fact that she has a gigantic crush on Marjan (which Carlos makes fun of ALL the time b/c she has a POSTER of Marjan lmao) and anyway Carlos only gets into their band after Michelle shows him a picture of TK and is just, “tell me he isn’t your type lol” and Carlos is just “shut the fuck up, Michelle.”

tbh I feel in this AU, TK is... like... his bandmates know he’s gay but he’s not open about his gayness with the rest of the world. (whether this is b/c their record company feels it might hurt their sales, or TK just doesn’t want the entire world to know he’s gay... who knows.) (I mean, I know. but.)

also despite TK kind of being the face of the band he doesn’t let anyone forget that the band is his and Marjan’s brain child. (also he and Marjan write the majority of their songs and their songs are often incredibly personal for them. like, if you read too deeply into some of the songs you’ll probably pick up on the fact that TK is gay but it’s subtle enough that, like, it’s only really obvious to other LGBT ppl, yanno? anyway TK’s sexuality (and Marjan’s) is a hot topic among their LGBT fans.)

anyway TK’s recovery is an ongoing thing (obviously) -- he manages to ‘kick’ his addiction the summer before his junior year of college (with Marjan’s help/support) and manages to stay sober for nearly two years before he relapses with alcohol (not oxy). (his relapse came directly after they signed with a major record deal so he wasn’t, like, depressed/suicidal - he just was really happy and thought he could handle some alcohol, which he couldn’t.)

with Marjan’s help, he worked to get sober again but at some point he relapses again which leads to an overdose. I haven’t super decided yet? it’s kind of dependent on whether or not I choose to include his relationship with Alex in this AU/fic. it’s not super necessary to do that but I don’t know.

anyway after he relapses, he tells Mateo about his addiction which Mateo is chill about and is just... very supportive? like he’s just like “I’m here for you :)” and anyway. before they “let” Judd sign with the band, they do tell him about TK’s addiction (which is TK’s decision to do btw,,, Marjan and Mateo don’t force him to tell Judd -- TK’s the one that’s like “if he’s going to join then he should know everything he’s getting into.”)

[antoine-roquentin]

The Vietnam War had a further pernicious effect: it helped make possible the paramilitary expression of racist sentiment. In the first half of the 20th century the American far right had conducted a campaign of violence against blacks and others, especially in the South. But while they could rely on the support of large sections of society for their cause, their main aim was to instil fear rather than to try to realise fantasies of extermination or separatism. The capacity for more directed violence among white power groups that became evident in the 1980s would not have been possible without their Vietnam training and access to weapons stolen from military bases. Faced with an economic recession exacerbated by the war’s vast expenditures, many veterans believed they would never find ordinary employment, which led some to gravitate toward the fringes of American society both left and right.

John Rambo, for his part, did both. In First Blood (1982), Sylvester Stallone’s character is a ‘half-German, half-Indian’ veteran, traumatised by the war, who arrives in a small town to pay his respects to a black comrade killed by exposure to Agent Orange. Mistaken for a hippie grafter, he is hounded by the local police and struggles to find work: ‘There [in Vietnam] I flew helicopters, drove tanks, had equipment worth millions. Here I can’t even work parking!’ But in Rambo: First Blood Part II (1985), Rambo turns right, fighting the Vietnam War all over again single-handed. ‘Sir,’ he asks, ‘do we get to win this time?’

‘Bring the war home’: what began as an anti-war slogan on the American left was appropriated by the extreme right as a proclamation of intent. Louis Beam – one of the major strategists of the paramilitary right and a central figure in Belew’s book – was a decorated veteran who had logged more than a thousand hours as a door-gunner on Huey choppers. Back home he promptly joined the Louisiana chapter of the KKK, beginning a career that seamlessly combined white power fanaticism with anti-communism. In 1977, Beam received a grant from the state of Texas to build a simulated Vietnamese rice paddy in swampland near Houston: here, he trained recruits as young as 13 to kill an imaginary enemy. Four years later a promising opportunity presented itself. A number of South Vietnamese refugees had been resettled on the other side of Galveston Bay, and local shrimp farmers didn’t want the competition. Beam seized on these fears and gave a speech to a crowd of 250 white farmers. Shortly afterwards a group of them set out and burned two Vietnamese boats, torched crosses on their lawns, and patrolled the bay on a ship equipped with a small cannon and a mannequin hanging from a noose. The campaign of intimidation was ended by the Southern Poverty Law Centre, which won a court order to disband Beam’s group and close his training camps.

Crucially, as Belew shows, most American paramilitary groups in the years after Vietnam considered themselves vigilantes. They were taking up the fight themselves because they believed the state was too cowardly or too paralysed to defend itself against Judeo-communist usurpers: the liberal establishment was infiltrated, or naive, or merely weak, unable to contend with a communist agenda that sought to destroy white nativist values and identity. In this conspiracy, blacks often featured as unwitting pawns, but that did not spare them from being targeted. In 1979, nine vehicles carrying Klansmen and neo-Nazis – most of them veterans – drove to the site of a march in Greensboro, North Carolina, where members of the Communist Workers’ Party were protesting against the Klan’s attempt to sabotage their organising of black textile workers. Five of the protesters were killed in a shoot-out; 12 were wounded. The trial that followed resulted in acquittals for all of the accused, including the local police informants who had guided the assailants to the march.

Then, in 1980, Ronald Reagan arrived. Here was a president who quoted Rambo, referred to the Vietnam War as ‘the noble cause’ and told veterans that they had been ‘denied permission to win’. Reagan not only made it clear that he intended to open new fronts in the Cold War, he even appeared to some on the far right to be paying tribute to their tactics. In 1981 a motley group of a dozen mercenaries in Louisiana – Klansmen, neo-Nazis, arms smugglers – were caught by the FBI hatching a hare-brained scheme to topple the government of the Caribbean island of Dominica and restore a puppet dictator through whom they would launder funds to the KKK and prepare a staging ground to conquer Grenada. The press mocked their failure as ‘the Bayou of Pigs’ (the plan to collaborate with a splinter group of local Rastafarians to take down what was already a right-wing government strained credulity). But as Belew notes, the US invaded Grenada two years later and justified its coup with language remarkably similar to that of the Dominican plotters, who, like Reagan, referred to the island as a ‘Soviet-Cuban colony’.

The paramilitary right had a tense but ultimately productive relationship with Reagan. In 1979 the anti-communist Georgia congressman Larry McDonald established the Western Goals Foundation, a privately funded version of the House Un-American Activities Committee, which had been wound up four years earlier. Like HUAC, McDonald’s database stored files on thousands of Americans deemed ‘subversives’, especially those who – it was imagined – might be agitating on behalf of communist movements in Central America. The information the foundation gathered was shared with the FBI and other state agencies, along with the recommendation that the government outsource the work of counter-insurgency to the very same private security firms that were helping to fund the foundation. The increased privatisation of US state violence under the Reagan administration fitted neatly with the president’s more general anti-statist rhetoric.

Kyle Burke provides a guide to this dark underground territory of the Cold War. Just as the civil rights movement spanned the globe, so too did the reaction against it. In some regions it was the reaction that proved more enduring. Burke devotes space to the largely neglected World Anti-Communist League, founded in Taiwan in 1966. The league was remarkable for its fusion of Eastern and Western anti-communist funding and expertise. The US branch was organised by a gay ex-socialist from Brooklyn, Marvin Liebman, who had converted to anti-communism after reading Elinor Lipper’s Gulag memoir. Having recruited the US congressman Donald Judd and the Catholic priest Daniel Lyons, Liebman travelled to Taipei and helped draft the league’s agenda; at the league’s 1974 conference William F. Buckley gave the keynote address. And then there was John Singlaub, a retired general and another of the league’s main organisers, who thought the US government had fumbled the urban counter-insurgency against the Black Panthers and other radical groups, and that lessons should be learned from the admirable ruthlessness with which Latin American and East Asian authoritarians had crushed their leftist opponents.

In its early years the league stirred with impossible ambitions, such as winning back China for the Kuomintang. By the early 1970s, however, it had narrowed its focus. League affiliates in Chile and Argentina were considered to have helped score major successes – including Pinochet’s coup and the Dirty War. But as Burke shows, the league and its offshoots’ activities gradually became too radical for most of its American members: too many of those involved, such as the Ukrainian nationalist Yaroslav Stetsko, openly flaunted their fascist pedigrees, while groups such as Tecos in Mexico, which had once been recruited by the Nazis to fight on the US-Mexico border, waged an open campaign of terror against Castro-inspired rebels that included bombings, assassinations and kidnappings, all barely countered by the Mexican security forces.

One of the league’s main purposes was to serve as a headhunting and staffing agency for anti-communist operations. Liebman and Singlaub – whom Reagan commended for giving him ‘more material for my speeches than anybody else’ – became middlemen for right-wing networks that channelled millions of dollars from respectable sources (the beer magnate Joseph Coors was a major donor) to anti-communist causes and counter-insurgency operations around the world. Their largesse was spread wide. Liebman founded the Friends of Rhodesian Independence, which led tours for US government officials and professors, while Singlaub helped fund arms shipments to groups like the Contras in Nicaragua. Special interests sometimes clashed. In Angola, Chevron managed to forge an oil exploration agreement with the communist MPLA guerrillas, just as Singlaub and others – including a young consultant called Paul Manafort – successfully lobbied to get the Reagan administration to back their client, Jonas Savimbi. That the US government would hinder American companies from operating in South Africa, an anti-communist ally, but allow them to work with a communist regime in Angola outraged Singlaub and his colleagues. They soon called for a boycott of Chevron and encouraged Savimbi to attack the company’s Angolan properties.

In Rhodesia, the interests of American white power internationalism and American anti-communism dramatically converged. In 1965, Ian Smith’s white supremacist regime unilaterally declared Rhodesian independence from Britain, emboldened by support from across the US political establishment, from Dean Acheson to Bob Dole. When Reagan, as a presidential candidate, began flirting with the idea of backing white Rhodesians against Robert Mugabe’s growing insurgency, several hundred American mercenaries were already fighting there. Congressional attempts to establish the exact number – let alone stop them – made little progress. Not-so-covert action in Rhodesia (now Zimbabwe) continued even after Mugabe came to power in 1980. As late as 1999, three Americans from a right-wing church in Indiana were arrested at Harare airport while apparently engaged in a plot to assassinate Mugabe. (His paranoia wasn’t always unjustified.)

One lingering puzzle in the history of the paramilitary American right is why, in the early 1980s, a small but significant part of the movement began to rebel against the US state itself. During Reagan’s first term a few thousand members of the KKK and various ersatz militias started down a path that would eventually lead to serious clashes with federal authorities. In 1984, the white nationalist Robert Jay Mathews founded Brüder Schweigen, also known as The Order, a group that sought to bring down the US government. After robbing a series of banks to secure funds for the cause, Mathews was killed in a shoot-out with federal agents on Whidbey Island in Washington State, though his co-conspirators were acquitted of sedition by an all-white jury. Even if we grant Belew’s point that members of the American right had periodically risen up against the US government, Reagan’s election was in part an expression – and a vindication – of an explicitly anti-government creed. So why did elements of the paramilitary right turn against the government during his first term?

Part of the answer seems to be that Reagan was simply too little, too late. The most extreme wing of the radical right was already strongly critical of some of his appointments, especially of ‘internationalists’ such as George H.W. Bush, James Baker and Caspar Weinberger. Weinberger was one of the few figures in the administration to show concern about white extremism. Reagan only made matters worse by allying himself with Jewish neoconservatives, who his far-right critics believed controlled the ‘Zionist Occupation Government’. The spectre of the ZOG had emerged in mid-1970s American neo-Nazi literature, which updated the Protocols of the Elders of Zion for a new generation. It was a case of badly dashed expectations: Reagan was surrounding himself with neoconservatives who purported to share the paramilitaries’ anti-communist passion while secretly they were scheming to divert American power to their own cabalistic hyper-capitalism. By elevating the identity-erasing power of the purely rational marketplace they were really instituting a form of communism under a different name.

So from the vantage point of white power, the Reagan ‘revolution’ was anything but. ‘We spent fifty years trying to elect a conservative and what have we got?’ Robert Weems, a former KKK chaplain, asked at a rally of paramilitaries in 1984. The Reagan administration, Weems declared, doesn’t ‘take on the international bankers and the Federal Reserve; they think that’s part of our glorious capitalist heritage … They don’t take on the Zionists at all because they are the Chosen and our Number One ally in the Middle East … [and they won’t] take any stand for the white race and its preservation either.’ The extremism of Weems’s anti-capitalism marks the point where antisemitic white power and the wider anti-communist movement parted ways on questions of principle. But this should not lead us to dismiss the wide areas of common cause between white power fellow-travellers – whom Belew estimates at around 450,000 Americans – and today’s most prominent inheritors of the anti-communist tradition: free-market internationalists, or ‘globalists’, as their enemies call them. The current US president’s appeal to white nativists – the manna raining daily from Twitter – is in this sense hardly contradicted by the fact that he surrounds himself with veterans of Wall Street.

How, then, could white nationalism further its aims in the post-Vietnam era? One possible avenue was through the democratic system. In 1984, the racialist lobbyist Willis Carto founded the Populist Party, which bundled together ideas of racial purity, anti-Jewish conspiracy thinking and concerns about the money supply – in particular any kind of inflationary monetary policy that might benefit the wrong kind of poor people. The party appeared on ballot papers in 14 states, yet Carto’s efforts amounted to little more than a publicity vehicle for figures such as the Klansman David Duke and Green Beret vigilante Bo Gritz. In a bout of white power infighting, the neo-Nazi factions of the white power movement hounded Carto as a swindler of right-wing funds, and a ‘swarthy’ man of questionable racial make-up.

The second seriously considered option was what became known as the Northwest Territorial Imperative, the aim being to consolidate the white race in the already very white Pacific Northwest, where an ‘Aryan homeland’ would be established. The ‘imperative’ appears today merely like an extreme form of gerrymandering. After years of infighting and lost lawsuits, its latter-day incarnation is the Northwest Front, which operates an innocuous-looking website that displays real-estate advice for white patriots and sells the Front’s tricolour flags: ‘The sky is the blue, and the land is the green. The white is for the people in between.’​2

There was, however, a third option for white power activists, originating with Louis Beam and William Pierce, a.k.a. Andrew Macdonald, the movement’s bard. Together they concocted the most influential and enduring of the white power projects. In Essays of a Klansman, published in 1983, Beam advocated an all-out race war. The civil rights battles, he argued, had already been lost. But the best response was not to make a bid for a return to segregation: that was far too moderate an ambition. What was called for instead was white national liberation of the entire US mainland. The real culprit was ‘communist-inspired racial mixing’ and the real enemies were the ‘white racial traitors’ who had allowed it to happen. Beam wanted to redirect the energies of white power against those elements of the federal government which he believed had betrayed its original constitutional mandate to protect the white race.

Beam’s most inspired innovation was his blueprint for ‘leaderless resistance’, a model of guerrilla warfare, borrowed from communist and anti-colonial partisans, in which small cells operate in concert but without knowing the leaders of the other cells, removing any chance of their informing on one another. The move away from bands of local vigilante groups to anonymous, spread-out terror cells marked a major shift in the white power movement – reflecting an understanding that it was no longer operating merely in local contexts. Beam himself, Belew stresses, was an early and ardent adopter of the internet, making use of codeword-accessible message boards, pen pal programs and online advertising to spread the word of white power.

If Beam was known as the ‘general’ of the white power movement, Pierce – who had taught physics at Oregon State – was the ‘strategist’. In 1978 he published The Turner Diaries, a novel that went on to sell half a million copies. The book purports to be the diary of a bygone racist revolutionary who helped to overthrow the US government; the civil war begins when Congress passes the ‘Cohen Act’, banning the use of all firearms. But a small patriotic ‘organisation’ eventually prevails against this tyranny. Blacks in the South are bombed into oblivion with nuclear weapons, the Jews experience another Holocaust and women become a servant class. The US dollar is abolished, the calendar is set back to zero and the federal government goes down in flames when a biplane with a sixty-kiloton warhead flies into the Pentagon.

The collapse of the Soviet Union in 1991 presented more favourable conditions for Beam and Pierce’s fantasies to be put into action. Their views were now echoed in mainstream culture. Pat Robertson’s bestselling The New World Order (1991) claimed to unveil a vast Jewish-capitalist conspiracy, while Charles Murray and Richard Herrnstein’s pseudoscience blockbuster, The Bell Curve (1994), laboured to justify America’s racial hierarchy. In 1989, Beam had already put the question to his brethren: ‘Now that the threat of communist takeover in the United States is non-existent, who will be the enemy we all agree to hate?’ Highly publicised stand-offs in the 1990s seemed to confirm that his faction had been right to double down on the federal government as their enemy.​3 At Ruby Ridge, Idaho in 1992, the Vietnam veteran Randy Weaver and his family exchanged fire with federal forces; Weaver’s wife and son were killed in paradigmatic displays of white martyrdom. During the Waco siege of 1993, federal agents stormed the compound of the Branch Davidian religious sect and 76 people were killed. Despite the sect’s lack of connection to the white power movement, the siege became a rallying cause for paramilitary groups that feared state overreach.

One television viewer galvanised by the Waco raid was Timothy McVeigh, then 24 years old. A Gulf War veteran who had seen sustained combat and been exposed in training to the same cyanocarbon tear gas used by ATF agents at Waco, McVeigh was an ideal candidate for Beam’s ‘leaderless resistance’. In 1995, after he bombed the Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building in Oklahoma City – until 9/11 the deadliest terrorist attack in US history – he was tried as a ‘lone wolf’ killer, despite his connections with wider paramilitary networks, such as the Michigan Militia and the ‘Viper’ militia of Arizona, and his stash of white power literature (he was a steady consumer of right-wing ‘zines’). In his case, the tactics of leaderless resistance paid off. Instead of hunting down the co-conspirators and publicising the networks, information and material that McVeigh had relied on, the media in general presented him as an isolated psychopath.

But McVeigh should interest us perhaps more for the person he became in prison. By the time of his execution, in 2001, he had begun to sound like a contributor to Counterpunch. Here he was, cogently, in 1998:

If Saddam is such a demon, and people are calling for war crimes charges and trials against him and his nation, why do we not hear the same cry for blood directed at those responsible for even greater amounts of ‘mass destruction’ – like those responsible and involved in dropping bombs on [Iraqi] cities. The truth is, the US has set the standard when it comes to the stockpiling and use of weapons of mass destruction.

The connections between American violence abroad and American violence at home seemed self-evident to McVeigh, but for the majority of Americans even to hint at such connections remains taboo.

Donald Trump has been the most significant beneficiary of the hypocrisy of American foreign policy as described by McVeigh. Before the last presidential election, no other candidate, Bernie Sanders included, was so savage in his reckoning of America’s recent foreign ventures. ‘A complete waste,’ he called the country’s longest war. ‘Our troops are being killed by the Afghanis we train and we waste billions there.’ Nor has any other president in recent memory capitalised more on the humiliation of those who fight in, or traditionally support, America’s wars. Winning for the president pertains to more than trade. Whatever the ultimate fortunes of the combined forces of American reaction, the ‘leaderless resistance’ is likely to continue. It has rarely been clearer that those who cheer on American interventions abroad should be prepared for more ferocious nativist terror at home.

[wigwurq]

WIG REVIEW: DOWNTON ABBEY

YOU GUYS THIS MOVIE. If you loved the TV show the way that most of the world (including me) did, then please get yourself to this film because it’s basically just an extra long episode! I will take one every 2 years please and thank you! But what about the wigs? Let’s discuss. 

It is a few years and about 1000 plotholes since the final TV episode which means it’s 1927, okay?! GO WITH IT! The main thing is: the royals are coming to visit Downton so EVERYONE CLEAN EVERYTHING and have a lot of feelings about it!!! Also: there are about 10x as many wigs as in the TV show. Read all about it here. But as in the show, these wigs are VERY PRESTIGE. And by that I mean, they’re good because someone paid a lot of money for them.

Let’s begin with wig MVP, Lady Mary. Major changes since her TV wig include: BANGS and a serious back taper on her neck. Here is where many (if not all) male wigs get into TROUBLE HUNNY because somehow the male wig community cannot figure out how to not have that taper jut out which just reads: HELLO I’M A TERRIBLE WIG. Somehow, Lady Mary’s wig is able to overcome this taper issue and just look FIERCE AS HELL. Please provide all male wigs with whatever magic (spirit gum?) that made this happen. 

Down in the kitchen, MRS PATTIMORE IS STILL MY KWEEN and Daisy’s bangs were clearly SNATCHED by Lady Mary, but the result is still super cute. Daisy remains a full revolutionary who will flirt with any damn plumber but will still (probably?) marry that one nice manservant whose name I refuse to remember and fixed that farm roof once. (THE FARM SHE CO-OWNS IS SUSPICIOUSLY EXEMPT FROM THIS MOVIE FOR REASONS UNKNOWN). 

Other suspicious plotholes include Lady Mary deciding that even though she totally secured Barrow that sweet butler job so that Carson could retire, THAT DID NOT APPLY TO ROYAL VISITS BECAUSE BARROW SUCKS AT POLISHING SILVER. So Mary tells Carson to come on back, despite the fact that she 1) didn’t tell Barrow or anyone else and 2) didn’t see if Carson had been cured of the Parkinson’s Disease (or similar?) that made him spill wine all over the entire last episode of this TV show. Somehow Carson can pour wine again so BYE BARROW!! ALSO I LOVE YOU MRS. HUGHES.

The timing of this is actually great because the King’s valet is 100% hot/gay so bring on some homosexual romance! This will definitely go really well and not provide any issues for anyone! (STAY TUNED)

Speaking of issues, remember how Tom is from IRELAND? Do you remember that? He speaks with a slightly different accent, so...do you remember NOW? Ok cool because everyone else is REALLY ON EDGE about this whole thing given the fact that THE ROYALS ARE COMING so is this Irishman gonna totally eff it up for everyone? SPOILER: OBVIOUSLY NOT ARE YOU KIDDING THIS GUY RULES. In a plot twist that plays out so quickly that you wonder why they even bothered, Tom is badgered by some dude who you think is a royal detective but TWIST: he’s actually trying to get Tom to help him kill the king and now Lady Mary is super suspicious even though she and Tom are totally BFFs and whatever: Tom and Mary just saved the King. THE END! OH WAIT THERE’S ANOTHER HOUR OF THIS MOVIE TO GO.

Moving along:  new characters! IMELDA STAUNTON and a serviceable wig is in this now, which is great because she should be in everything. Her character’s name is MAUD BAGWELL which feels like an SNL sketch version of this show, but whatever. Anyway, Maggie Smith (WHO IS PERFECT AND SO IS HER WIG) is super pissed at her because she has no kids and refuses to give all her money to Lord Grantham when she dies. WHAT A BITCH. Oh wait, actually let’s talk about her maid, played by, I shit you not, a woman named TUPPENCE MIDDLETON which is peak English and we can all go home now and also Imelda Staunton is leaving her money to her so OK. Oh but also she kind of looks like Lady Sybil (RIP) so Tom definitely falls in love with her despite the fact that he fully had a girlfriend at the end of the TV show who even caught the bouquet at Edith’s wedding but WHATEVER WHO CARES TUPPENCE MIDDLETON WINS. 

Meanwhile, Lady Edith, whose wig is...fine but still not as good as Lady Mary’s because that’s how older sisters work, is pregnant! Mazel! Unfortunately, her husband already told the King he would go on safari with him RIGHT WHEN SHE IS DUE. This is the most white people problems thing ever and she spends the rest of the movie moping around the park this family calls a lawn until the King finally lets her husband out of the terrible and binding safari plans he had. WHAT A RELIEF OMG THIS EFFING SHOW/MOVIE LOLOLOL.

Speaking of the royals, here they are! The king and queen are honestly barely in it and their wigs are totally fine. The princess has a really upsetting plotline about her terrible and abusive husband who somehow Tom unwittingly advises to STAY WITH HIM for the sake of her family?!?!?! I don’t know either y’all but ok?

Meanwhile, downstairs, Anna Bates and her bent wig (ANNA DESERVES BETTER) is hatching a plot with her husband to revolt against the evil royal servants who have left them without jobs to do! Rather than take a well-deserved staycation, they seriously manage to fool all the royal servants into letting them do their damn jobs! WHAT A WORLD. Of course, the Bates family is behind all this because they have been falsely imprisoned so many times that they can now live life without fear of consequences, much like Ashley Judd in Double Jeopardy (IF YOU DON’T GET THIS REFERENCE, I WILL ABSOLUTELY SHOOT YOU IN THE MIDDLE OF MARDI GRAS). Anyway, one of which is fully stealing from the family and Anna doesn’t even stitch on her and instead makes her do penance sewing a dress all night! I LOVE THIS MOVIE. 

So the only servant that gets an actual vacation is still Barrow, in his fashion haircut,  who is enjoying his gaycation in York until his new gay pal stands him up so he meets a different gay dude who BRINGS HIM TO A FRIGGIN GAY SPEAKEASY IN AN ABANDONED (?) WAREHOUSE AND OMG I WANT TO GO TO THERE. (Spoken as Stefon on SNL):  It has everything! Men charlestoning together to a makeshift jazz combo, mustachioed men in rolled up shirtsleeves sipping unspecified brown alcohols, giant wooden barrels used as cafe tables with candles on them, and the constant fear that something is definitely going to go wrong. Remember earlier when I said to stay tuned about Barrow having issues because Barrow always has issues? BARROW GETS ARRESTED, OBVIOUSLY. He is nearly immediately bailed out (not by money, but by Royal connections) by his new boyfriend, who then almost certainly has sex with him but we’re not allowed to see it but DOES HAVE A KISS WITH HIM SO OKAY I GUESS THIS TURNED OUT NOT SO BADLY! #DowntonPride

In the end, everyone goes to a ball and my beloved Matthew Goode FINALLY SHOWS UP to dance with Mary and ask everyone if he missed anything (har har). Also there is the promise of at least 3 more weddings and maybe 1 (SOB) funeral so since this movie made more money than Rambo AND a boring Brad Pitt space movie, PLEASE MAKE ANOTHER ONE OF THESE!!!! ALSO THANK YOU FOR SPENDING SO MUCH $$ ON WIGS THEY ARE GREAT! 

VERDICT: WURQS

[thisguyatthemovies]

Rough cut diamond

Title: “Uncut Gems”

Release date: In theaters Dec. 25, 2019

Starring: Adam Sandler, Julia Fox, Eric Bogosian, LaKeith Stanfield, Kevin Garnett, Judd Hirsch, Idina Menzel, Mike Francesca, The Weeknd

Directed by: John Safdie, Benny Safdie

Run time: 2 hours, 15 minutes

Rated: R

What it’s about: A gambling addict who is a jeweler in New York City’s Diamond District gets in over his head with loan sharks and awaits the return of an expensive gem he purchased to pay off the debts.

How I saw it: WHERE’S THE MONEY!?!?! I’VE GOT THE FU**ING MONEY!!!!! JUST GIVE ME A FEW DAYS!!!!! PUT IT ALL ON THE OVER!!!! TAKE THE FU**ING SHOT!!!!! TAKE THE FU**ING SHOT!!!!! FU**ING JEW NI***R!!!!! WHERE’S THE FU**ING MONEY!?!?! I’LL GET YOU THE MONEY!!!!! LEAVE MY FAMILY OUT OF IT!!!!! MOTHERFU**ING NI***R JEW!!!!!

That represents much (if not most) of the dialogue in the Safdie Brothers’ noisy, anxiety-inducing “Uncut Gems,” a movie that in front of the wrong eyes will seem annoying, abrasive and appalling but will appeal to a certain moviegoer who likes their crime dramas frenetic and gritty and can tolerate the relentless barrage of awful people yelling profanity and lies at high volume.

“Uncut Gems” is the story of Howard Ratner (Adam Sandler in his best dramatic performance, whatever that might mean), a Jewish (and that’s important) jeweler in New York City’s Diamond District. Howard has a problem – make that a lot of problems, among them that he is a scumbag. He’s also a degenerate gambler who is in over his head with the wrong kind of people. Howard is pursued relentlessly by enforcers, but that does not deter him in the least. He’s always placing the next big bet, waiting for the huge payout that might not ever come, and if it does, he owes so many people anyway that he won’t see a dime unless he can lie his way out of it again. Howard never stops talking, even when he’s being talked to.

“Uncut Gems” isn’t plot driven, with the only drama being whether Howard will win his biggest bet or get what is coming to him. The story has a few tangents. In one, retired NBA superstar Kevin Garnett (playing himself during his playing days, since the movie is set in 2012) becomes enamored with a opal mined by Ethiopian Jews that Howard is planning to sell in an auction, and Garnett borrows it in exchange for an NBA championship ring but is slow in returning it. Howard also has a wife (Idina Menzel) who is threatening to leave him and take their kids, and he has a girlfriend (Julia Fox) who works at his jewelry store and lives in a posh high-rise apartment paid for by Howard. He also has an acquaintance (LaKeith Stanfield) who brings Howard business (mostly from wealthy black athletes and hip-hop artists) but also is trying to screw over Howard when Howard isn’t trying to screw over him.

Sandler is fantastic, and he gets to show off a wide range not seen in any of his string of bad but lucrative comedies. He’s as tense and explosive as anyone would be when pursued by heavies. At one point in “Uncut Gems,” it seems Howard has had some sort of epiphany after having been beaten up. His face bloodied, he sits at his desk and cries while his girlfriend tries to assure him everything will be all right, and he is convincing before it’s clear Howard has not learned his lesson at all. Sandler is deserving of a Best Actor nomination, though a crowded field and his prior reputation might find him left out.

The supporting cast is strong as well, with newcomer Fox making good use of her role as a temptress who ultimately has Howard’s back. Garnett is surprisingly good even in his most dramatic moments, and Stanfield is great at going toe-to-toe with Sandler’s Howard; both will do whatever it takes to make the next buck.

Brace yourself for the visual pace, with quick cuts and outstanding editing adding to the film’s edginess. Daniel Lopatin’s music is heavy on analog synthesizers, giving the soundtrack a 1970s feel, and that, combined with the New York setting, makes it reminiscent of “Taxi Driver” (1976) or Lynne Ramsay’s brilliant but overlooked “You Were Never Really Here” (2017).

“Uncut Gems” is not all mania; it’s one of those movies that might exhaust you or leave you with a headache moments after seeing it but feeling better about it after having given it some thought. Underneath the tense façade is an important subtext about being Jewish in America and how Jews and black culture mix, with each looking to overcome oppression and be successful as measured in how much wealth they can accumulate, no matter what it takes.

Sandler’s Howard is an encyclopedia of Jewish stereotypes, but the Safdies (who are Jewish) have said they wanted Howard’s over-the-top characteristics to be viewed as sort of superpowers. The Safdies don’t ask us to be sympathetic toward Howard (he is a difficult leading character to embrace, to say the least), but they do ask us to consider the plight of people like Howard and those he hangs out with who are chasing an American dream that might be out of their reach. Whether you can sit in your theater seat long enough to make those kinds of observations remains to be seen.

My score: 71 out of 100

Should you see it? Depends on your tolerance for people yelling F-bombs and the N-word over each other and generally being terrible. Underneath the hustle and bustle is an outstanding crime-drama movie.

[phillipcole]

Post-AGT Appearance 1195: The Late Show with Stephen Colbert May 9

The songs would have minimal movement.  Naomi Judd would have peaked at 25th on the list of suspects about who was the last name on Phillip’s sick list, then died at 38th.  I would have met the Judds and discussed possible interaction.  Mickey Gilley would have been at his peak of 58th on the original list then died at 92.

Stephen Breyer would still not have made his announcement about retiring, but someone still would have leaked the draft about the abortion decision.  That would not affect this interview because it would have been rehearsed.  Phillip would be on after the first commercial, sitting in a wheelchair in the middle of the stage.  Colbert would be in a wheelchair beside him as they return.

Colbert: Welcome back.  I’m sitting here in a wheelchair so as not to prejudice my unhealthy guest.  This is the long-awaited interview with Phillip from Phillip and Cole’s Variety Team.  Phillip how are you?

Phillip: Better than I have been in a long time.

Colbert: We were worried we might lose you for a while.

Phillip: Worried about losing me or your ratings?

Colbert: Ha ha heh everything is connected.  So Phillip, normally, when you’re strong enough, you perform with Phillip and Cole’s Variety Team.  Is this your first solo interview?

Phillip: No I did one back in 2015.

Colbert: With whom?

Phillip: Charlie Rose...How’s he doing now?

Colbert: He took early retirement ha ha.

Phillip: Me too.

Colbert: Heh heh heh now would you like to tell everyone why you’ve been sick?

Phillip: Well...certain celebrities make me sick.

Colbert: And one of them...

Phillip: Became President...then just as I was getting over that another one of them defended him...in a (cough, cough) impeachment trial.  Then I was in a coma a long time.

Colbert: Right, now whenever anyone from your team appears on this show you eliminate one suspect from the top 10 people who might be the last unknown name of celebrities who make Phillip sick.  Very quietly now, we’ll show the audience the list of people who make Phillip sick and now the list of the top 10 suspects of who might be the last unknown name.  Again please don’t say any  of the names out loud.  There’s the top 10.  Phillip, which of these 10 people are you going to eliminate tonight?

Phillip: Norman Lear.

Colbert: Norman Lear, in fourth place among the present suspects, is not the last name.  Why are you eliminating him tonight?

Phillip: I understand he turns 100 this summer.

Colbert: He does indeed, July 27.

Phillip: We don’t want to distract him from his party.

Colbert: That’s very thoughtful.  The other tradition on this show is to say why members of your team don’t like him even though he’s not the worst.

Phillip: Yes...I have on this card the reasons other members of the team don’t like Norman Lear.

Colbert: Let’s hear them.

Phillip: My cousin Rupert, from England...doesn’t like Norman Lear because he stole from British shows to create his biggest hits.

Colbert: All in the Family and Sanford and Son.

Phillip: Thank you...Cole doesn’t like him because he didn’t have any southerners on his shows.  Brad is very...large and didn’t like the way he put down overweight people.  Phil doesn’t like Norman Lear because his shows are so funny he didn’t spend enough time doing homework.  Ford, a judge from Tennessee, is unhappy about the way Lear’s shows portray people in law enforcement.

Colbert: So true.

Phillip: My colleague heh heh...Norbert Adams...Heh heh heh heh.

Colbert; Are you alright?

Phillip: Adequately...adequately...heh heh I’m a...method actor...heh heh...and Norbert suffers from asthma...heh heh heh (cough cough) heh heh.  So I’m in character.  Norbert Adams is the unluckiest man in the world...Archie Bunker used to...suffer the fictional...frustrations that...Norbert suffers...

Colbert: Are you alright?

Phillip: Adequately.  As a Boston intellectual I don’t like him because his name is a homonym for a verb.

Colbert: It’s his name.

Phillip: He could have changed it.  Finally the ranting 107-Year-Old Man doesn’t like him because he doesn’t want anyone around nearly his age.

Colbert: Good, now you know we have a new President right?

Phillip: Yes, thank God.

Colbert: But the last one is talking about running again.  How will that affect your health?

Phillip: (long pause) New Hampshire primary...2024: if...Trump wins, I die.

Colbert: There you have it folks.  New Hampshire Republicans have a lot in their hands.  Stay tuned.