#and just life stuff in general like oof

[kozuki-hiyori]

Hey hey, guess who's back ❤️

[madnesshyperfixation]

General 007n7 Headcanons  

First collection of headcanons for Forsaken! Be warned, I literally have never in my life played Roblox in any capacity, missed out on that universal experience, so I am so sorry if any of this comes out unusual compared to others. 

Last Edited: 5/18/25 Fixed some Punctuation and added 3 new headcanon

007n7 had a very relaxed style of parenting, kinda letting C00lkidd do whatever he wanted unless it risked hurting him or others.  

After instances of C00lkidd getting himself in reckless situations 007n7 always there to be his safety net and give him comfort afterwords, but only after he gives a light scolding for the thing C00lkidd just did. (Inspired by this)  

007n7 was honestly surprised he was able to get hired for jobs in the first place 

Already has some gray hairs oof 

The Noob head on his burger hat is somewhat sentient, being able to emote on its own accord but often displays 007n7’s current emotions, even suppressed ones. It also likes sunglasses. 

The Noob head on the burger hat sleeps whenever it’s not being worn by 007n7. 

When he rarely, if ever, gets furious beyond reason, he starts to glitch out due to his c00lgui being integrated into his being. 

This includes whenever he’s hurt, his blood looks vaguely pixilated. 

It took 007n7 a while to figure out C00lkidd had a skin condition, having bright colored skin of all shades is normal for Robloxians, only after seeing rashes form did he realize and immediately got some medicated cream and other things to treat the condition. 

The smile he has when he’s laughing is scary af. (inspired by this comic by @pinkplasticfangs) C00lkidd inherited this trait over time. 

Misses the old days sometimes. 

Switched between eye contacts and glasses before being Forsaken; after being Forsaken he always uses eye contacts. Only using his glasses when he knows he isn’t being sent into a round anytime soon. 

007n7’s clones' kind of work like a hivemind except its one mind being stretched out between multiple beings. It’s an exhausting experience most of the time and often causes headaches/migraines if done for too long. 007n7 can also see through every clone instance which is quite the jarring experience if you’re not used to it. 

Of course before being Forsaken he had a lot more precise control over his clones, but after being Forsaken anything beyond moving the clones in specific directions causes bad headaches/migraines. 

Doesn’t like being pitied, he doesn’t want others doing stuff for him out of pity, it’s humiliating. 

He’s made a lot of sweet dessert foods that secretly have veggies in them, such as Chocolate Sauerkraut Cake and Zucchini Brownies so that C00lkidd would eat his veggies because it was a nightmare to get the kid to eat veggies on their own. 

007n7's favorite button on the c00lgui is the Unanchor All button. Because when everything gets unanchored that's when the funny physics happen. *Insert gmod clipping sfx and structures being flung in every direction*

007n7 didn’t want to cut contact with Noli but when push comes to shove it was the only option he had left after Noli kept badgering him on to come back and stop acting like a domesticated animal.

Just like Ford from Gravity Falls he doesn’t exactly know what is and isn’t dangerous for kids to get their hands on. Which is the exact reason c00lkidd got a c00lgui.

[midnight-mourning]

Valentine's is Over! What now?

Hello! This is a bit of an update post now that DCA Valentine's has finsihed up. Feel free to read what you want (though I suggest at least skimming all of it so you're aware of what's happening with me) and make sure to vote in the polls!

Starting first and foremost, thank you to everyone who submitted requests! They were all genuinely lots of fun and I hope the stories I wrote for them were enjoyable ^^ Couldn't have done the event without y'all so thank you for the lovely ideas

@rosescarletful @amarynthian-chronicles @dangerva @alynwrench

@luckyyyduckyyy @fishm0ther @juukai @divinit3a @zenkaiankoku

@starspindle @that-one-unknown-artist @milosmantis @pip-plz

Secondly, I want to give a MASSIVE thank you to the lovely wonderful amazing artists who volunteered to make doodles for the stories!! Everyone killed it and I'm so very appreciative of you taking the time to make things for my silly bits of writing shfkjsdkljflks Like seriously, it was so flattering to have people initially reach out/agree and then even more so to see the art you made as a results i just AHHHH I CANT SAY THANK YOU ENOUGH, appreciate you guys very much guhhhh <333333

@divinit3a @cozycitrus @soupdweller @juukai

HIGHLY reccommend everyone to go check out their blogs & content in general, everyone makes soooo cool art and oooo you wanna go give them some love soooo bad

Alright, with that, let's get into the meat of things; what's next?

put under the break bc there's several things happening, again skim if you want but make sure to do the poll though!

Gen writing update

I had a few requests come in after they closed (no worries to those who did so! I know it was a little confusing regarding such) so i'll be writing those when i get the chance and sending them out into the world, beyond that however, any request-based things are closed (for now) if I get any during this closed period I'm sorry but I'll have to ignore them/not do them. I'm too busy with life/other wips to add them to my list, sorry!

Holiday Spirit is going to be my writing focus for the next couple weeks! It's about halfway done and I'd like it finished so I can move on with things lol

Confused spirit is going to take a bit, as like i've said before I'm writing multiple chapters back to back for the purpose on ensuring proper flow/building my buffer back up, i know it's been a bit but believe me it's been on my mind guhh

In general i have some shorter form content/drabbles & oneshots I want to write, so be on the lookout for those >:)c

Speaking on all of the above, if you want to stay up to date with my writing, I highly reccommend joining the tag list i have! My things tend to get buried otherwise >-< Just tell me you'd like added and I'll include you :)

Poll!

I've done requests now for December/holidays, and Valentine's now too. There's no major holidays coming up for a while, BUT there is an event, in May... specifically... So,

Additionally, since the art aspect of Valentine's went so well, I'll probably look for artists again to do some drawing and will run it pretty similar to this time, so if you're interested lmk :)c

Comments & Asks

While I won't be posting/active for a few weeks, I WILL be going through and answering comments, asks, and so on from people that have been collecting in my inbox oof

PLEASE know that if you've left a comment or sent me an ask that I've seen it and appreciate it very much!!! I just have not had the time to sit down and properly answer them yet, but i will during this break!

Going Dark

I was saving this for the end just because it sounds worse than it actually is.

I'm going to take a break from posting/tumblr/etc for about a week or two and spend some extra hours doing my research stuff. I'm not behind or anything (and def always put it and school first dw) but I kind of want to try and get ahead with it just because of how strict my timeline to finish is 😅

I also just want a bit of a break from constantly writing and maybe do some other hobbies when im not on the research grind. I'll be back at it (again more casually) in a few weeks tho!

by the time you see this I have already begun lol

Leftover things

Since you're here, here's the link to my writing masterpost that includes 99% of my writing stuff!

I also realized while writing this post that I don't have an actual writing tag for non-event related writing... so i'll be fixing that as well during my break

I've gotten a question or two regarding whether my stuff is commision-based or if I have a kofi (which i'll be replying to that ask directly dw whoever you are...) and my answer to that is not currently! BUT, i'll continue to think on it for those who might be interested, if it's something I do consider doing it'll be a bit from now, but I appreciate the thought from those who asked!

I think that's all, thank you again to the requestors and to the lovely lovely artists for this event, and also thank you to those who liked/reblogged my things during this event! It's very much appreciated and I'm glad people had fun ^^ Bye!

[deadmercenaryslover]

ok maybe you know. WHAT is going on with ol istys nobleman status? some stuff indicates he was always one and other that sigismund gave him a title after he saved his ass. What Is The Truth?

Oof, I definitely wish I knew that, because I could really use the information for fic-writing purposes, but unfortunately, I don’t. I suppose no one knows the whole truth, except maybe some lorekeeper at Warhorse, assuming they have one.

That said, there are a few in-game hints that could be used if someone wants to form their own headcanons.

Here are some of the tidbits I’ve used while shaping my personal take on Ištván’s background for the fic I’m currently writing, probably in a fairly random order. Just keep in mind that I’m going to veer pretty heavily into headcanon territory here, and I’m not claiming any of this is canon. Just some random thoughts put together.

Thanks for asking, though! 🖤 I just love to yap about Ištván and KCD in general, I’m just usually a bit too shy to share my thoughts unprompted.

(It's going to be a pretty long post, so I'm going to put the whole thing under a cut.)

So, what we do know for certain is that Ištván was born in Banat, his parents were killed by the Turks, and his father had a fortress, which somewhat implies that Ištván was originally highborn.

I think this is where we have a gap we can fill with whatever we want and veer deep into headcanon territory, since he trails off and never finishes the sentence (or, well, he does, but it feels like he was thinking of something else than what he actually ends up saying...). Personally, I still feel like it's quite heavily implied that whatever happened to him after his family was slain and his home destroyed must have been deeply traumatizing for him. I know the devşirme theory is quite popular, though I believe becoming a war captive and ending up in regular slavery is just as plausible an option.

I don’t know if it’s just me, though probably not based on what I’ve seen, but I get the feeling that Ištván is kind of dancing around the issue here, despite usually being all about tough talk. To me, that suggests there's deep trauma behind it, likely connected to sexual abuse.

I also believe that what Henry says to him, "You pretend to be cruel, but you take good care of Erik. Someone must have really hurt you, am I right?" also points in that direction.

Another thing we know for certain is that, at some point, he fought the Turks, as we hear from both Ištván himself and Erik (in KCD1), and that he also fought in the Battle of Nicopolis in 1396. There's still a lot left open to individual interpretation, but I think one possible reading is that the events at Nicopolis led to Ištván, who might’ve been just an ordinary mercenary back then, becoming personally acquainted with Sigismund.

I imagine it's also possible that Sigismund rewarded him for his service by elevating him to the nobility, despite the battle itself ending in disaster. Saving your king’s life has to count for something, right?

I think this bit is also interesting to take into account. More often than not, Ištván seems to look for connections between himself and Henry, but here he draws a rare distinction. The way I see it, this doesn't necessarily contradict the possibility of Ištván being noble by birth. I could see it implying that he simply lost that privilege at some point in his life, likely when his family was slain and his home destroyed.

I imagine noble blood doesn't count for much when you are all alone and have lost everything. With his family gone, and the possibility of him being taken into the Ottoman Empire and kept there for some time, would he even have had any way to prove he was of noble origin? Even if he had surviving relatives, they might not recognize him after so many years and could be inclined to think he was just some impostor trying to get his hands on family wealth or something.

I don't know, just some food for thought.

And then there's this small detail. I just find it interesting how he says "the noblemen," not "we noblemen." Again, we can't be sure whether he's simply trying to influence Henry by highlighting their supposed similarities, or whether he genuinely relates to Henry here, even though he's a nobleman himself. It could just as well be both, I suppose. This doesn't have to mean anything, but I wanted to include it because it supports my personal interpretation that Ištván might personally not relate much to those nobles who have led easier lives than he likely has.

And from there, we come to another aspect I’ve been thinking about lately, one that’ll probably need its own post at some point: taking a sociolinguistic approach to Ištván’s background. I don’t have the screenshots at hand to support my theory yet, but it seems to me that he can switch between appearing as a rough mercenary and an eloquent nobleman, depending on what the situation calls for (and yet, he's often being clocked for this, too.) The clearest example of this, I think, is the way he code-switches during the prison scene in Nebakov while speaking with Sir Jaromier.

This doesn’t have to mean anything in particular, either. We could just draw a parallel between Ištván and, say, the Dry Devil and leave it at that, but as a language nerd, it’s just something that’s caught my attention. If anyone’s interested, I could ramble some more about it.

[tallymali]

I've been reading your recent posts with interest as I've noticed a prevailing trend in certain areas of the manosphere I mistakenly stumble into when I should really be going outside and being human...

There's a trend to hector men into rejecting porn (amongst other degenerate activities) and to join 'men's groups', often referred to as 'wolfpacks', to put their energies into fitness, strength, working on their testerone levels, wearing uniforms, marching together, unifying and ideally getting into fights with anyone they- or rather their 'betters'- deem as lesser (you can figure out who, I'm sure)... oh, and winning those fights, that's always talked about as if it's inevitable

They seem to prey on young men feeling messy/shameful about their porn use and then turning them into malleable proud little fascists... sorry, wolves... who enjoy finding excuses to physically manhandle and abuse non-conformists and outliers (of whatever gender)... not that this is sexual, you understand, it's about imposing order and reinforcing 'our values' through hands on force

Might is right, perceived weakness needs crushing out of existence... in part, it seems, because recreational images of dicks and cunts and arseholes and pro-creative consensual sex are deemed obscene, weakening, unmasculine and wrong

seeing men getting into stuff like this in worryingly large numbers is one of the things that honestly makes it very clear to me that women have an established movement that is critical of society’s gender norms, while men dont. im not saying misogyny is over or that women have some huge privilege here. its just very clear that a larger proportion of women..have some degree of critical thought about what we should value outside of how society perceives us. we have tangibly changed a lot for ourselves over the last 100 years. we know the standard is not fixed. its not perfect, many women are still falling down fascist pipelines, and there are strains of feminism that i think are VERY regressive. but we are at least familiar with the fact that our roles have changed.

but the men..oof a lot of them really do not know how to separate their self worth from how others perceive their masculinity. i dont think they even really know that those are two different things. and ive posted about it before but “masculinity” is a deliberately hazy and moving target. nobody can really define it. but they are THRASHING in desperation to achieve it. ultimately i dont think men as a group have ever really been well equipped to deal with insecurity, we are just now in an era of panopticon level social media use and self obsession. none of us should be thinking about ourselves this much honestly.

something that fascinates me as an outsider is how much this standard of masculinity seems like..not really linked to adulthood? none of these dudes want to be well adjusted adults with any degree of emotional maturity or tangible self sufficiency. they dont want to stop being little boys. they want to just uh. not be women, i guess. they consider it manly to never have to do general adult life maintenance stuff like cooking and cleaning. peak masculinity is when you dont know how to work a washing machine so a woman does it for you. remarkably infantilising of themselves actually. and when all this results in no improvement in self esteem AND women are repulsed by the way they’re acting like children..they double down? they really seem to believe in some sort of nobility of suffering. as if once they’ve hit rock bottom of insecurity and loneliness they’ll loop back around and finally be rewarded. and when that inevitably doesnt happen then its obviously the fault of whatever scapegoat minority they’ve latched onto hating.

[olderthannetfic]

When I saw ppl freak out about the gross Pokemon myth leaks I was like. "Damn were they that graphic?" Because they freaked out so much that was my thought but then I saw what the sexual stuff was about and it's literally.

"The had relations withe the Pokemon" and "They woke up with a child" 💀 A bit overdramatic, apparently the implications were horrifying enough for the puritans lmao

Meanwhile I was focused on the fact the deaths were more detailed and stuff (not in a bad way I was just like "oh no :(") because that's such a different style from the "we talk about death sometimes and it exists but not in extreme detail cuz family friendly franchise!"

Think the myths are interesting (and unintentionally really fucking funny, mostly maybe because I watched Ttar cover it and he's funny but idk)

I saw a comment once saying something like "The myths make sense cuz Japan or atleast ancient Japan has consent issues" which I found really weird to say (sounds racist? Maybe? Unsure) Could've said something about all humans in general not a country but okay

--

"Japan or at least ancient Japan"? Oof.

Mythology in general has consent issues. Many ancient cultures valued consent/life/human rights very differently from now. Yes, Japan is what is relevant when talking about pokemon, but that phrasing just makes it sound like the person thinks modern Japan is evil.

[inbabylontheywept]

So. So. I have a horrific backlog in my inbox, and past attempts at answering it have generated more asks. Generally at a higher rate than I could answer the asks. Exceeding escape velocity. And I've been mulling over how to solve this, and my idea was to create a super-bus answer post. It'll be a little lengthy, so, you know. Click read more at your own risk. Roll them dice.

Well, you clicked it. God speed and god bless.

--- @meowserita says

I feel obligated to tell you i stayed up till four am reading a bunch of you stories, because they're incredible. Also feel like saying that the only other times ive stayed up this late in recent memory is when i was binge reading one piece so take that as you will. We'll see how much i regret this but odds are i wont like i didnt regret staying up reading one piece

Hahaha! Ha! Oof. I am extremely flattered and awed and impressed but also, my stories are going to be there tomorrow, and the next day, and maybe forever depending on how this whole "civilization" thing pans out. So. Sleep more. But also thank you for being a mega fan.

I had like, a week long binge of Naruto in middleschool that was awful. I didn't even like the show that much. People recommend anime to me now, and I feel like a former alcoholic turning down drinks at a party. No thank you, there's a 99% that will simply help be relax after work one day and a 1% chance that will ruin my life and I'll catch myself unironically saying "believe it!" years later, and I just can't take that chance. I have too many people depending on me.

---

Anonymous says

i see you are also from Utah. do you have a favorite swig menu item

No. I've never actually been into a Swig. There were a few soda shops back in AZ, but I never really got them either - I'm still not sure how a gummy shark in a blue soda is supposed to make it taste better.

My poison is generally gas station stuff. Slurpees are amazing, and I also like their little pickled sausage snack things. Probably literal poison, but they call to me.

---

Anonymous says

four more messages in my head. four more tests of sanity.

hm. troubling. hope you pass.

---

Anonymous says

yooo “fireflies infinity mirror room” mention!!! i lived in Tempe for a few years…one time i was making my way down the escalator from the PHX skytrain and there was a group of like 20-30 Mormons (?) at the base of the escalator waiting there to welcome out-of-state Mormons to some sort of Mormon convention in…well, Mesa, presumably? google is now telling me it may have been for the Easter pageant.

That does sound likely. My grandpa was actually in charge of the easter pageant for a few years down there - I actually broke my arm on the little pony Mary rides to Bethlehem. I was trying to keep my little brother and sister on it by using my arms as a seatbelt, but when they fell off anyway, I just had to kids land on my arm from 6 foot drop and got blessed me with a third elbow. I had some crazy ideas on how to become a professional baseball player with it, but my dad insisted we go to the hospital to do drugs, and when I woke up they fixed the damn thing. Could've gone pro.

---

@synapticwanderer says

hello! just wanted to say I'm a big fan, your stories make me laugh and sometimes cry and sometimes both, sometimes at once. when my partner asks me what I'm laughing so hard at I read them to them, and sometimes I just go read them to them anyway. thank you for sharing your delightful way with words with us, and I hope you don't mind that I've got notifications on for your posts (you and I think three other writers at the moment) anyway, have a great day!

I don't mind! I hope I haven't ruined that privilege, actually, I shitpost more than most people think. I like mixing happy and sad as well as silly and earnest. But. Yes. A lot of shitposts.

Anyway, thank you for the comment! Happy trails.

---

@funnynamedottxt says

I kept hearing about your wrestling post, and then I saw the word “bisexual” when you were talking about it, so, needless to say, I sought it out immediately.

And, while this isn’t technically part of the actual post, in that reblog where you were talking to that one dude about sexism and societal issues and shit, you made some pussy joke about Lake Michigan and that may just be the best thing I’ve read all week.

Sorry about the run on sentence btw, I know it probably deeply hurts the writer in you, but I find it funny and am too lazy to self-censor sooooo

I'm glad you had a good time reading it. I don't know which gender I'd imagine the great lakes as to be honest. I just know that their thing with Michigan is beautiful and would be very distracting should I ever become an astronaut. I don't want to make fun of people for wanting a better world, and I would actually say I did a botch job on my response. Didn't realize it until several hundred people got mad at me. I know I write well, and the catch .22 of that is that people assume that my ability to read the room is probably higher than it is.

Anyway. I don't fault them for getting mad. Not my finest hour.

And I'm not a snob about run on sentences by the way. English teachers want to make rules about how you write and rules to follow, but that's because they need to grade by rubrics for it to be fair. It turns an art form into something mechanical though. Just make it natural and the rest comes after.

---

@00x7 says

Hi. I hope you're doing well.

I had read your wrestling story. I had not laughed so hard in a great many years. I thank you for this, though I am also sympathetic to your misfortunes.

There was enough going on that I was naturally curious if you were or are Mormon, a curiosity born from being someone who grew up as such myself (something that being queer doesn't really bump up nicely against, though you hardly would need to hear such a thing from me), and which visiting your blog quickly answered for me.

Of course, scrolling down for two seconds immediately had me realize that you were also the kid with the grandpa and the worms. I had read the worm story before, but visiting somewhere and realizing it was you was a nearly transcendent experience. My third eye was rather forcibly opened. What a storied life you have had.

Anyway, as an amateur writer, I'm very happy to have found your blog. We don't know eachother, but your words resonate with me.

Whenever you read this, I hope you have a good one. Thank you.

Oh! That's my favorite thing - when people like two different stories with very different tones. It's kind of a would you love me if I wasn't beautiful sort of question - would you like my writing if it wasn't purely silly? And it makes me happy when the answer is yes.

I actually wandered through your blog to try and find your writing, but I didn't have much luck. I'd love to see some, if you're willing. Send me a link if you keep it on another platform. I couldn't do a critique if I wanted to - all my writing knowledge is just gut level stuff that I don't know how to share - but it's just a fun way to know people. And sometimes, I see a style and I go ah, I can pick a few shiny bits off this and wear them around.

---

@turtletotem says Your bio says to tell you if we write, so, new follower here, and i write! Lots of fanfic (links in bio) and also original fiction under Shelly Greene and Elizabeth Belyeu (both on Amazon). Feel free to check it out, but I won’t take it personal if you don’t, lol.

I checked your pages on AO3 for this, and alas - No snippets for me first. You write books and novels, which is something I've always aspired towards, and never really suceeded at. I had this view when I started writing short stories that I'd eventually writer longer stories and serials and in fact I just got better at writing short stories. Which isn't much of a tragedy, actually, but it's a road I haven't really moved forward on yet. Writer to writer.

As a reader, I already have several books I've promised to read people. If you have any shorter works (less than 5k words?) lob them my way though! c

---

Anonymous says

Just read your post about Atlas Shrugged (my condolences, comrade) and I must, simply MUST ask if you've ever heard of The Cobra Commander Dialogues? It asks the very important question "what if Cobra Commander was there and found this all at best inane and stupid, and at worst it offended his villainous sensibilities?" As someone who hasn't read the book OR watched the cartoon I found it very entertaining!

I just took a peeksies at those - they're beautiful. Dialogue is a great weakness of mine, and it is hard not to be a little envious of this writer. Thanks for sharing this with me.

For the curious

---

Anonymous says

Your story about the breakup and the olives and the Slim Jim's and your dad made me cry -- not like, tear up, but an actual good cry for a couple minutes. I don't totally know why I reacted like that but I definitely felt better in some way afterwards. So, thanks. I think I'm gonna remember that story for the rest of my life.

The story stuck with me both because everyone involved was good. My ex's dad, the neighbor, my dad - everyone was doing their best. And it was true, wasn't it? Brains are good at remembering bad things. It's a breakup. And it hurt like hell. But the pain of that memory carries with it this feeling well, even when things suck, people don't. I also liked this view of my dad parenting so consciously. It wasn't a background thing to him. He thought a lot about what he was doing, and what he was saying, and how he was treating me. I owe him big for that.

---

Anonymous says

What did you do with the left shoes after your date?

So, I think teenagers like being able to convey fuck you, I do what I want through their clothes. There are punk scenes for that, and goth, and other things. My way of doing that was just dressing aggressively badly. Mismatched plaids and sports jackets meant for people half my height and twice my width, purchased from goodwill, and basketball shorts mixed with knee high socks and on and on. That was part of my teenage rebellion.

Anyway, I added the shoes in and just wore mismatching shoes to make the outfit worse, both because it was a fashion crime, and because it was a litltle inside joke with my friends who knew the story. I wound up losing them over the years because I would use the left sets as makeshift projectiles.

---

@galapagos-spinch says

I just wanted to compliment you on your story about wrestling a girl in middle school, you're a fantastic writer

Thanks. I have some regrets about that story, but it was fun to write, and it from a craft standpoint, i am proud of it. I appreciate the comment. :)

---

Anonymous says

equality is when young boys aren't allowed physical boundaries i guess

Eesh. We're getting to wrestling asks. Look, when we all signed up for wrestling, we signed up to wrestle girls. It's part of the sport. If your boundary is to not wrestle girls, the way you maintain it is by not signing up for wrestling. The point of my response, which I did not convey clearly enough, was to ask for forgiveness for failure. A middle school boy falling short of the right thing is different from a middle school boy seeking to do the wrong thing, and as a bar, it's...

It's the kind of thing I'd hope people would go, Well, they're shits, but I can't hate them over it. Don't defend us as having done the right thing - we did not. Just, have some grace for the weakness of teens. They're still growing, and if you put too much pressure on them, they'll crumble. And we crumbled.

---

Anonymous says

Hey there! Sorry, not actually a question, just wanted to say I've seen posts of yours reblogged before on occasion and I finally started following you because you're a gifted storyteller and your stories are hilarious, poignant, or both!

Oh! A relief. This is so nice. Thank you. Hopefully you read this. Maybe I should turn anonymous asks off or something going forward if I set myself on doing more of these super-bus replies.

---

Anonymous says

i am crying with laughter at your stories. the way you tell them is perfect, please never stop

I'll try. I had a several month period of no writing after burning out on HFY. Wasn't sure how to make a genre change. I'll probably have more periods of quiet like that, but to be honest, my writing is probably my favorite thing that I do. I like engineering, and I'm pretty good at it, but I love this, and I am very good at it, and in periods where I don't write it feels almost painful.

---

@auronlu says

just sending you some gentle love from an older queer person.

My parents moved to Utah after I went to grad school. I am eternally grateful that my dad turned down that promotion the first time, when I was about to enter high school, because I didn't want to lose my friends and move to Utah and go to school there in the 80s.

So I escaped, but I've seen a little bit of what you had to go through and I've heard from some of my mom's friends that she's made there how hard it is when you don't conform. I'm glad you were able to escape and that you have your own life now.

I bet that girl remembers you and that when these topics come up, she's not as willing to throw people like us under the bus without question.

you did the best you could in a very difficult situation, and by being you, you helped some of the next generation realize the lines they're told about queer people may not be true.

There may have been a closeted or questioning kid in that class, reassured by your example or simple refusal to show prejudice. you don't know what positive impact you had on those kids, but you went in with the best intentions you could and I have a feeling you did more good than you know.

take care and have a good life

( note: my main blog is actuslly @sepdet )

This is actually one of the earliest asks that I didn't want to answer because I didn't want to lose it. For anyone else looking, they're talking about a story I told about teaching primary as a Mormon.

I hope she does. I don't think anyone in the ward ever actually knew I was bi - I kept that very close to my chest. Even after I left. The kids certainly didn't. But they knew that I loved them very much, and they apparently felt strongly that I was a good person. I think the lesson I gave them was that a person can leave the church and still be good. I hope that serves them well.

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@karmaajr says

UR A FUNNY GUY 🫵

aw yissssss

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@abisexualfrog says

Hello, I just wanted to say that I really like your stories and the way you write, your style

Sometimes I’m in a bad mood and then I go read a few of your stories -I especially like the ones at your work- and it cheers me up because of how funny it is. (The fridge story? So good)(oh and the water balloon and and and… endless)

Im not super good at compliment because well English isn’t my first language and all that but I figured I could still tell you, can’t hurt.

So yeah I really really enjoy your writing!! It’s so good!

And not just the stories of things that happened to you, the other ones too, they are also very good

This is another one of the ones I kept because I didn't want to lose it.

Thank you for reading my stories. Your english is fantastic. And it is rare to get comments on my old fictional sci-fi pieces - those were kind of my baby's-first-steps. If you read those you are in deep, and I am incredibly touched.

I'd hug you if I could.

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@rockinhand says

the red bun on those burgers was actually dyed via Beets. i tried it when it was around and it was unremarkable

I know what this is referring to. Surprisingly. But I will leave it be and just enjoy have this remain esoteric bordering on arcane.

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@newkittypoom says

i saw your reblog on that falin fanart and i was like "wait. this is the 28 eggs snake guy?" and i came from the post about your wrasslin days and i saw you answer an ask about being ex-mormon and well. im definitely following the blog for your writing. thanks for sharing these stories!

thanks for commenting! It's flattering to get recognized online. Means my writing voice is distinct. Got a little niche and I'm thrivin' in it.

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Anonymous says

I'm sure someone must have pointed this out by now, but you weren't dating just because she thought you were dating. If that wasn't the kind of relationship you thought you were in, you weren't dating. She was just being presumptuous. You didn't "accidentally date" someone. You can't. Dating is a mutual, consensual thing.

Yeah. Yeah. Phrasing and all.

--

@nbspacegay says

(1)

Hi I read your dating stories they are hilarious. I am spiritually holding hands with you because I too am terrible at dating. I accidentally pterodactyl screamed at my boyfriend when he told me he loved me once. I did also love him. I just panicked, screamed and then quite literally sprinted away. I also did not have the excuse of being in high school because I was in university.

(2)

if you so choose you can publish that last ask, i sent it becuase i thought you and your followers might find it funny

(3)

also sorry for sending you three messages like a lunatic, but also feel free to ignore it

I haven't been ignoring this, it just got buried and then I panicked and it has been crushing me like an ancient marsh, squeezing out all my peaty-bits until all that was left was an ultra-flamable bed of hydrocarbons.

Pterodactyl screaming at your boyfriend is a power move. You should do it more often. I am going to answer more questions that way. I had a customer with a masters in geology ask me why I could not provide their specified sample rate, sample times, and sample counts, and I had to explain to them that you can actually only pick two of those numbers, and the third just happens, and that the numbers they gave me did not work that way. It's like saying "I need to drive 50 miles, and I want to drive at 15 mph for two hours." I'm like, yo, go faster, or drive longer, but you have given me a multiplication problem that does not work. And they kept arguing with me, despite the actuall oscilloscope screen telling them, hey, bozo, that math does not math, and I kept trying to reason with them, when in fact I should have just pterodactyl screamed.

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Anonymous says

When I saw your blog title my first thought was that it's a reference to psalm 137 (it's on my mind since it was just tisha b'av) and was wondering why a nonjew would do that, but then I realized you're a fan of Babylon so it's probably a reference to that. And then I googled it and apparently its also a song. So which one/which combination are you referencing?

Also your blind date story was a fascinating read, it made me laugh. Very impressed by your chutzpah

Oh nvm, saw that you answered the above in another ask, feel free to ignore

No, I totally get it. Mormonism robbed and scrambled the iconography of a lot of religions, but the two it yoinked the most from are the Masons and the Jews. Like, it is my culture now, but I will acknowledge that my culture is what would happen if you asked a 14 year old conman from NY to skin your culture and wear it. I can't imagine how weird it must be to hear us talk.

Glad to have you approval on the blind date story though. That was a nightmare.

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@conkreetmonkey says

Personally I think you should do the egg thing again just for the hell of it. I honestly would because you made it sound fun, but eggs be expensive around these parts

My budget is a liiiiittle bit tight for the next month because my wife is doing occupational therapy, but there's a grocery store nearby that sells quail eggs, and to celebrate her finishing that, I am going to be a dozen and shotgun those bad boys. Hell yeah.

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Anonymous says

bulking must be so easy if you can effortlessly consume 15 raw eggs

No, for two reasons.

The first is that it was not effortless. It was effortful. I had to sweat to get them down. I had to fight them into me. I have a very vivid memory of finishing the eggs, and then leaning over to tie my shoe, and feel the eggs start to actually tip out of me, not even as like, puking, but like emptying water out of a boot. I actually had to sit for a half hour after that for the eggs to actually stay.

The second reason is that eating is easy for me, but gaining muscle mass is not. If I work out like crazy and lift weights, I get very wirey, but I never actually get big. I tried bulking one time, and my muscles stayed the same size while the 20 pounds I gained just went right to my belly and I looked like a grape on a toothpick. Very wild experience. Made my peace with being a skinny nerd.

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Anonymous says

just letting you know that you can sterilise raw eggs by keeping them at 130°F for a few hours, you can do this with a sous vide and eat them with no salmonella concerns

I love tumblr so much but all the people that read a story about some idiot eating 15 raw eggs on an impulse and then went ah, yes, this man clearly owns a sous vide machine and is willing to use it are crazier than I am. Get some realistic expecations of the world. Know your audience. You are setting your bar too high, and will find yourself endlessly disappointed. Stop it. This is why left leaning people are so fucking sad. They read the egg story and think they can solve my life with a sous vide, instead of reading the egg story and realizing that there is nothing in this world that could possibly save my from myself. I am not a stupid person. I am a highly motivated clever person who enjoys doing stupid things. There's no stopping that.

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@brambledboneyards says

Hey OP I just wanted to let you know I was informed when I was younger that farm fresh eggs will not give you salmonella. I would recommend fact checking this, but if it does remain true I hope you can date the cravings once more

This is actually good advice. I know several people who own chickens down here. Bless you.

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@queerdo-mcjewface

Some stores sell pasteurized eggs for recipes that require raw or undercooked eggs

Alas, they only sell egg whites down here, which are flavorless. I want the whole egg experience. The slime, the yolk, the cracking open - I appreciate the advice, but no, it's just not visceral enough.

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@decentmonster says

you'd probably love quail shooters tbh, you can get them at most sushi restaurants and theyre served raw and are really good (also safe to eat)

Also farm-fresh eggs are less likely to have salmonella!!

Two months time, I will eat a dozen raw quail eggs.

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Anonymous says

I want you to know the egg story is literally one of the funniest things I've ever read in my life. I laughed so hard I woke up my husband

I think that was the first little life-short-story thing I posted. Maybe? I'm glad you had fun reading it.

[nebrasska-alasska]

Hello Nebraska!! I just want to say that your Sonadow fanfic, The Secret In Your Quills, is one of the best Sonadow fanfics I've ever read in my entire life! The writing is so epic, and I'm so excited for the final chapters!!

I don't know if you are active on Twitter/X, AI has recently become one of the most talked-about and controversial topics there, and I’d like to know your opinion, especially since you are a wonderful writer.

To you, is using AI to improve and/or correct writing and grammar mistakes considered cheating?

Here’s the thing: I have a friend who is currently writing a book. He built the entire foundation, he came up with a good story, characters, the plot, and everything. But there’s a problem: he’s not very skilled in writing and doesn’t know how to write certain parts. He struggles to describe certain scenes, forgets words that could be used, and makes many, like really, many spelling and grammar mistakes. Not only that, but he also tends to drift off from certain contexts, making parts of the story confusing or nonsensical.

Because of that, he asks ChatGPT to help him with his writing. For example, he writes a section of his book and asks the chat to improve that part, like making it longer, more detailed, and most importantly, correcting grammar mistakes and polishing the writing. When ChatGPT finishes generating the revised version, he reads it to see if it matches what he had in mind. If it doesn’t, he tweaks a few things. And when it finally fits what he wants, he adds it to his book.

But this made me think, and the question kept spinning in my head, so I’d really like to know: is AI actually helping him, or not? I don’t have many friends, and the ones I asked didn’t give me any solid opinions about him using ChatGPT to assist with his writing (assist and improve, not come up with ideas or write it for him).

So I decided to bring the question here to you: Is using AI to help or improve your writing considered cheating or unoriginal?

He doesn't have Tumblr, and since I'm sending this to you anonymously, he will never know that it's me LOL, but I'm serious. What is your opinion about this?

Oof, AI is kind of a tricky subject, and I certainly have a lot of thoughts/opinions on it.

Overall, I don't think AI has a place in writing fiction when it comes to the actual process of writing. Creative writing is an art form, a way of sharing something you've created with others, and having something else nonhuman create that art kind of takes away from the whole purpose. What this means is, when I write, I embrace all of it. The good, the bad, the ugly. The highs of exciting, juicy, and emotional scenes, and the lows of the less fun stuff that comes in between. If you cut corners by having AI write parts of it for you, you're not really growing or evolving as a writer because you don't ever challenge yourself (and listen, you don't have to want to improve your craft while writing fanfiction, but at the same time, if you're incapable of writing the whole thing without having AI fill in the gaps, then it's probably time to reevaluate what you're trying to get out of your writing, if it's not completely yours). It might be a harsh opinion, but at the same time, writing is a form of expression, so why wouldn't you want everything you share with the world to be completely yours in your own unique voice? Isn't that kind of the whole point?

But there's nuance. Having AI help with grammar is a feature that has been in writing softwares since the dawn of the dinosaurs. I tend to ignore grammar suggestions more than half the time because they're either incorrect or because I'm intentionally breaking the rules, but it's still nice to have when reviewing/editing chapters. And idk. AI probably has other nice and innocent features I don't know about because I've never used it before out of principle.

I hope I didn't ruffle any feathers. I'm pretty anti-ai, but that's because in a lot of ways, I see it as an insult to art and the creation process that is innate in us as a species. It has its places in society, but the creative world isn't one of them. Truthfully, I count my lucky stars that I completed my English Literature degree before AI was a thing... I would have hated to navigate that through my courses.

[starcatching]

Get to Know Your Tumblr Mutuals

i was tagged by @hwanswerland thank you and please forgive me for being one million years late i thought i posted this but it stayed in my drafts😭💗

What's the origin of your username? -> i just thought it sounded cute, plus it's a little nod to my love for all things space <3

OTP(s) + shipname -> i don't really have one🤷

Song stuck in my head -> FUFN by jade

Weirdest habit/trait -> i don't know if it's weird because people either get it or they don't but.. no outside clothes allowed on the bed!!! i don't care if i've been outside for 5 minutes or 5 hours, those clothes are not touching my bed affsfs

Hobbies -> mostly reading and writing, but also rollerblading, piano, giffing, fashion, and falling into weird wikipedia rabbit holes. learning random useless facts should be my main hobby fr💀

If you work, what's your profession? -> i'm an HR specialist, but right now i also help out small local fashion stores on the side-whenever they get new pieces in i wear the clothes for photos they use on their socials. so it kind of balances out the terrible corporate vibe lmao

If you could have any job you wish what would you have? -> i wish to not be in need of a job 😭

Something you're good at -> i'm really good at planning. i think i have a sharp eye for detail so whether it's throwing together a last-minute trip or organizing a complex project i can break it all down and make sure everything's covered. also i've got a weird knack for fixing tech stuff - like i'll just quickly read up on it or just start tinkering and somehow it always works out

Something you hate -> spiders....ai art.... and the government👊😡👊

Something you forget -> to live in the present

Your love language -> oof, good question… i'd say quality time just because i'm the definition of an "errand friend." need someone to go grocery shopping with? i got you. getting the oil changed in your car? i'm on my way. need someone to hold your hand at the dentist? i'll be there ily. oh and also BANTER

Favourite movies/shows -> omg too many tv shows to list.. but off the top of my head i'd say mr. robot, black sails, and succession are some of my top shows. i'm not the biggest movie person but i love sci-fi/fantasy in general

What were you like as a child? -> easily entertained 😂 i could spend 5 hours playing outside or just as long customizing and building stuff in the sims. i used to draw a lot too, and that's something i'm sad i stopped doing because i was pretty good at it

Favourite subject in school -> literature, english and physics

Least favourite subject -> p.e.

What's your best/worst character trait? -> loyalty. if i care about you i'm all in, ride-or-die, no questions asked. your enemies are my enemies now lol. worst: tie between being conflict-avoidant and a perfectionist to the point it's lowkey self-destructive😎✌️

If you could change any detail of your life right now, what would it be? -> i wish i had more energy AND time to do everything i want to

If you could travel in time, who would you like to meet? -> there's no one specific and i don't wanna get all sad with it so maybe i'd just hit up a concert from back in the day. or honestly? i'd jump a few years into the future out of pure curiosity. but not too far... kinda nervous about what mess we might've made of the planet by then

no pressure tags <3 @artbora @applejongho @cordiallyfuturedwight @raplinenthusiasts @rashfcrd

[canadachildvol2]

Wish rewrite ✨ Concept art

I've done a lot of writing for stuff related to my "Wish" rewrite, but it's high-time I made concept art for it. So here it is!

A few pieces here are ones I've included in my other posts that I either wanted to share again or have since updated and wanted to show the new versions.

I had a lot of fun creating them. Some are more detailed than others, but I hope you like them regardless. ❤️ I really wanted to have this post ready for this past November or December, but life got busy and I couldn't finish in time. Oof -_-

@annymation @signed-sapphire @chillwildwave @lazytitans-world @rascalentertainments

1 - Asha in the wish room after sneaking into the palace. Not included are the tables with Magnifico's tools on them; this is just the general layout of the room itself. (my phone camera messed up the proportions, so the pillars and mirrors look less vertical than they really are)

2 - Asha drawing Star in his human form. This is a quick moment that takes place during the "Montage" song. (thank you, lazytitans-world, for the idea!)

3 - Updated version of Star's character/model sheet (i.e. I finally added colour!)

4 - The journal written by the king who started Rosas' wish-granting system many years ago.

5 - Asha's two other outfits. Left: what she wears after the time skip. Right: what she wears when she reunites with Star at the very end.

Rewrite / Extra plot and character details / "At All Costs" sequence / Asha & Star Character Tropes

[absolutebl]

BL recs (from any country) that don't have any s*x scenes? I'm too ace to enjoy them at all. Happy ending preferred, angst v welcome:)

BLs Without Sex Scenes

Oof, this is a hard one. Is a dead fish kiss okay? I do have a heat sorting on the spreadsheet of doom, and there are some with no kissing at all, but a dead fish kiss is in most of the HEA ones.

BLs with No Kisses

21 Days Theory (Thailand, YouTube) - the only thing I didn't like about this pulp was the fact that they don't kiss, so... yeah, this is my first pick for you. Very YA first love angsty, fantastic queer rep and side characters. RECOMMENDED

My Esports Genius Brother (China, Gaga?) - it's hella odd censored bromance but enjoyable. No real angst tho.

HIStory My Hero (Taiwan, Viki) - basically a BL with no sex or kissing, but also body-swap so is it BL? I can't remember the end but I think it's happy?

Silhouette of Your Voice AKA Hidamari ga Kikoeru (Japan, ????) - this 2017 yaoi adaptation is a full on BL just no kissing at all. The source manga (I Hear the Sunspot) is a favorite of mine and the casting was decent. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED for you (but not in general). Grey only.

Love of Siam (Thailand, ????) ALL THE ANGST, I'm pretty sure the most they do is hug, I could be v wrong though because too sad for me to ever rewatch. Very formative to the Thai BL industry.

The Lover (BL cut) (Korea ????) sometimes you can find the BL cut on YT, it has slapstick comedic sexualized moments that are maybe a little homophobic (or something), no actual sex or kissing, but no angst at all. (Korea's working some shizz out with this early offering.)

Kabe Koji AKA Kabesaa Doujin Sakka no Neko Yashiki-kun wa Shounin Yokkyuu wo Kojirasete iru (Japan, Viki) - I watched this and I was excited about it before it aired, but I seem to have expunged it from my memory and kept no screen caps in annoyance, so that's all I got.

Love in Spring AKA Spring of Crush (Korea, ????) - a crossdressing historical that flew utterly under the radar. I decided it just wasn't really BL, but it has BL aspects and it's kinda a little queer... or something. Grey only.

Evening Cafe (Thai pulp, YouTube) - No heat and no kisses, but a decent lead pair, about a boy who works in a cafe and the new employee who has a crush on him. That’s it, that's the whole story.

A Shoulder to Cry On (Korea, Viki) - Has no kissing and many people found it really good as @isisanna-blog reminded me, thank you). It certainly has ALL THE ANGST. (I did not like it at all, but I'm a terrible judge of this kind of BL.)

What Did You Eat Yesterday? (Japan ???) - this is such a lovely show, very warm and comforting and slice of life. There is very little angst, they too old for that shit, but little to no sexual content either. It's very warm and loving. A safe extremely yet queer show - and oh boy do we not get many of those. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED

Censored Bromances

So No Kisses (TM) for the gays but the hets might do stuff I didn't pay attention to. All these from China. Some happy, most not.

The Untamed

Word of Honor

Guardian

SCI Mysteries

Stay With Me AKA Addicted 2.0 (I never watched this so there may be rough play)

Mr CEO Falling in Love With Me

The Fairy Fox

Youth in the Breeze

Precise Shot

Advance Bravely

His Cat AKA His Cat Boyfriend

The Male Queen: Han Zi Gao

The "Ghost Boyfriend" series

Past Youth

I Go To School Not By Bus (Hong Kong short)

Recommended Shorts with no kisses, but cute & fun

The 8.2 Second Rule (Japan YouTube)

One Last Order (Korea, Gaga)

Love Advisor (Thailand, YouTube)

BLs with Dead Fish Kisses (maybe? only one, if any)

His the series: I Didn't Think I Would Fall In Love (Japan ????) - (NOT His the movie) this one has all the angst you could want in your whole life. ALL OF IT. Japan wins at emo, it's their THING.

Cherry Magic AKA 30 Years of Virginity Can Make You a Wizard AKA 30-sai made Dotei Da to Mahotsukai ni Nareru rashii AKA Cheri Maho (Japan ????) - there's sort of some bed tussling and implied sex but you could imagine them just being snuggles for the mains, the sides have dead fish kiss. In general there's some angst but not much. It's fluffy and great. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED

Bonus: overt ace representation for one of the side characters.

Meow Ears Up (Thailand Viki) - sides may kiss? I enjoyed this pulp especially at the start, the premise is fun. I think my biggest complaint was lack of kissing.

My Love Mix Up AKA Kieta Hatsukoi (Japan Viki), a case could be made for a demi seme in this BL. So much frenetic angst around bisexual identity crisis. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED

My Ride (Thailand Gaga) - my favorite Thai BL pulp the sides have a good kiss and the mains do kiss but it's v dead fish, not at all sexual, and it comes at the very end. Otherwise extremely chaste, I HIGHLY RECOMMEND this BL, queer and complex and engaging.

I Want to See Only You AKA Kimi no Koto Dake Mite Itai (Japan ????) - This is a beautiful piece of cinema well acted, about two boys who are opposite personalities and grew up together. The only kiss is the one pictured above, v dead fish. Full review here.

Nobleman Ryu's Wedding (Korea WeTV) - 12th Night goes BL in this cross dressing historical that ended up feeling like a Cinderfella fairy tale, lightly dramatic and utterly charming. Full review. There is one dead fishy kiss at the end but it's otherwise aggressively pure.

If you like this last style of KBL (with a kiss at the end being okay, I have quite a few more to recommend). Until 2022, most KBLs only had one dead fish kiss in them, so you are pretty safe with pre 2022 KBLs. They tend to be quite chaste and de-sexualized. Other good examples: Wish You, Light on Me.

That's all folx.

Some of the above I may be misremembering (since I don't rewatch this kind of BL and my memory is shit). And I may have forgotten some too, so I hope comments with jump in.

Others to consider:

(source)

[wavesoutbeingtossed]

Sorry, I don't know if I've just basically echoed what you said or made it more confusing lol // not at all, that was an incredible reply, thank you! i think you expanded on some things in a way that broadened the more 2 dimensional way i was looking at it especially when you said the more recent relationships were analogous to the older ones but in reverse like, oof that hurts seeing it laid out like that. i think, as it usually is with taylor’s work, it’s all much more connected and complex than i originally think lol

glad I could help anon! And that I didn't accidentally offend you lol.

I've said it so many times, but one of the gifts of Taylor's long and prolific discography is that you really get to watch a person grow and learn about themselves in real time. Like: the journey Taylor's written about and has evolved with is the same as any person's -- not in detail, obviously, but in emotion and importance to a person's self-worth and self-discovery. By growing up through her music and detailing those life stages through it, we're all kind of living our own comings of age.

So that's why so many of the experiences she writes about are interconnected: because we are ALL amalgams of all the experiences we've had. Nothing in our lives is a straight line; most of the time, all these events build upon each other and intersect. Taylor's is that to a heightened degree because of so many other factors (namely her global fame from a young age), but it's also very typical in what us "normies" experience in our lives. We have all experienced love and loss and trauma and grief and joy and rage and resentment and excitement etc. The circumstances may change, but the empathy and relatability don't.

Also, in short: trauma to be like that. When you experience it, it does unfortunately tend to colour the way you operate in and view the world.

And to bring it back to ttpd from your original ask: it's also why @taylortruther's donut vs. hole analogy is so brilliant. Because even the stuff about Matty, for instance, is really a reflection of what happened with Joe, which is influenced by what happened with Jake, which is informed by what happened with John. But it's also informed by what happened with her career and with snakegate and with society and with... You get the point. It's like the relationship equivalent of generational trauma in some ways. It's not to attribute everything to men, necessarily, but to understand how the actions that they took and the resulting trauma are all part of a larger tapestry. And we all have that, whether it's relationship trauma or family trauma or school trauma or what have you.

[dreamtydraw]

I'm done with all the doodle requests ! (took me a long time i'm sorry) Doodle requests are now officialy off but the ask box is still open for any asks / exchange. Thank you for everyone dropping something.

anywhoozie just adding to this post a lil bit of my personal feeling ( cause it's been a while- ) since this is an unwanted vent i'll do that under the cut and under the art

Oof being emotionaly vulnerable on the internet ? Awfull idea, anyway-

I recently been handling a lot personal matters on top of just being actively stressed by life in general cause i'm bad at not stressing. With all of that grew a weird feeling of distance : I'm not posting fandom stuff, I'm not drawing as much as I wish I could, so I feel less deserving to post things in general. Because of that I have a hard time, because my brain thinks i'm unwellcolmed most of the time. This is a very bad part of overthinking cycles I actively work on trying to calm with time but in the end I can't completely stop the fact that i'm a very socialy anxious person with issues that makes me believe everyone hates me even if not given any reason to think so.

So I want to be grateful. I'm grateful for everyone who did not forget me and people who still like what I do. Thank you for appreciating what I make and sometimes who am I as a person.

I'm sorry for how negative I am often and how late I am on my game or on my merch, I'm genuinely just struggling a lot ans trying to keep it all not under the water.

I'm grateful for my partner and for all the kind art I receive with time that I can go look back to. It's weird to constantly feel as bad as I feel grateful.

Anyway i'll try my best to not feel unwelcolmed, I already appreciate enough that you took the time to read all that.

Hope you'll have a better day than me, Period cramps are awfull as a type-

[tookishcombeferre]

Cedric for ask game- 1, 12, 14, 25

1. Why do you like this character? Okay. So, ever since I watched Avatar: The Last Airbender, I have been a sucker for a well written redemption arc. However, if I were to get into specifics, I think there's a lot to explore in this character from a literary perspective. He's complicated. Very complicated. His motivations make a lot of sense even if he goes about things in ways that aren't objectively moral. Which, honestly? That is stuff you don't see in children's TV much since Gargoyles or other things from the 90s and early 2000s. He has the backstory and personality of a Shakespearean tragic hero. He reminds me of like if you shoved Macbeth and Hamlet in a blender in the best way possible, and then, somehow, came out with Macduff? IDK how that works, but that's what happened. Secondly, I find him relatable to my literal life. Zuko hit me when I was just a little younger than Zuko's age. I saw Sofia the First, for the first time in earnest, as I approach 30. I am, exactly, the right age to relate to Cedric's personal issues. So, I like him because a lot of the stuff he deals with is the stuff I'm processing in my own life. Aging parents. Trying to repair a difficult relationship with my own dad as we both grow older. Realizing I might not be able to fix everything that's missing there, and trying to walk the line between indifference and cynicism. Check. Trying to form a solid relationship with a/my child and teach them things. (Granted my squish is biological, but still. Check.) Trying to look past my own personal failings to create a better world for my kid and future generations. Check. Trying to look past what people say/ have said about me and others like me to see the intrinsic good in myself despite my nuanced set of identities. Check. Realizing that my kid just existing in my life is what gives me hope to see myself as great. And, maybe, just maybe, that's a lesson I can teach my kid without them having to go through all the crap I've gone through to learn it: we are great because, unmasked, in our fullness, together with others, we are greater than in isolation. So, I like him because it's easy to walk his journey and see some elements of my own life and where I'm at personally. And, you know what? The show does a nice job presenting this struggle. I feel less alone in my own crap when I watch it. I've got a buddy to walk in my adult problems with while my kiddo gets a princess to learn how to be a good person alongside. I LOVE that. It's truly something we both get something out of, which, is, like, SO supremely rare. As a parent, I just cannot express how much I care about that. Bluey might be the only other program I can think of that does "both" as well as Sofia does. Like, I don't know if there are any other fans in this fandom who are parents. But, man ... Cedric hits because *all* of the life stuff he's dealing with is stuff that, like, is so real. Especially the stuff with his parents. Oof. I don't know if any of y'all have had parents age. But, it's a different beast y'all. It makes you think about things, it makes you want to retreat, and it makes you want to fix things - all at the same time. Sorry if that's a lot. But, when we talk about Cedric being an adult, this is what we mean. So, I just kind of fell in love with Cedric's character because in so many ways his story just kept slapping for me from every angle.

[dallasgallant]

about your post needing hang out ideas in your fic…. I did not and Do not live an exciting life but maybe there’s something here

I grew up generally poor and a few things I did way back when was like… “breaking in” to my elementary school to go play on the playground (technically it was open to students… I think??? ough…), I was housed near an old foster’s freeze (they had a dipped cone with a grape chocolate shell oooooo take me back… I think it was only at the one location that has since closed/reopened as something else bc I can’t find any proof that it existed but I KNOW it was real) and we’d walk to this park that was right behind it and roll down the hills or “climb” the trees, ofc walks on the train tracks, there was one time we went on a leprechaun hunt around st pattys day aka just pointing out shiny silver-y/gold-y things the street at night, walking around in the alleys, at one of the motels we lived in my little sister + a few other kids there would play hide and seek in the vacant rooms/generally explore the hidden areas, walking around on the concrete riverbeds behind our house, motel night swimming, it was just a lot of sneaking around playing in the lots of the motels we stayed at LMAO

oof this is all kiddy shit and honestly I can’t really imagine pony johnny or dally doing any of that stuff at all and tbf I was like 6-8 at the time for most of those and I didn’t have any friends so….. yeah this is probably not helpful in the slightest 😭😭😭😭 sorry 😭😭

No this is super helpful! I mean teenagers can still talk walks or explore … especially since they’d know the ramifications of trespassing and be all oooo rebellious about it lol. It’s the conversations had while walking the tracks that change more than the actions you know?

It’s also usefully for mentioning childhood stuff too! I mean, seriously man this was really helpful. Gonna add it to my list-

I have a little “actions, locations, objects” list I’m starting. Stuff that’s not quite pop culture/media but aspects of life and stuff. Have a list for “delinquent” stuff I already posted. Dunno if I’ll post this other one it’s more for me but still

[iknowshocker]

Hooooookay I am reading Hits Different for the first time rn and 😩🤌 I'm literally gnawing at my fists because I'm loving the Parker sibling interactions so much. The twin connections between Jokai and between Luke!Kai and Liv are everything to me. I'm loving your descriptions, from Jokai's conversation at the brink of death, to the layout of their Portland home and Kai's dingy little attic room... Gobbling it all up like a turkey.

I'm dedicating my whole night to reading this. Making a cup of coffee as we speak, bless you for writing my boy Kai so well. Expect more of me screaming in your inbox.

Anyway, onto the ask game: 5, 9, 13, 28!

ahhhh thank you so so much!! <3

if there's one thing i love it's painful family dynamics and i fear we need to look no farther than that tragic af group. i could write a dissertation on the parkers alone. so it was really important to me to explore all of those relationships and give everybody the space to deal with what they went through so that it didn't feel OOC for them to move forward together in the end.

navigating kai's complicated disaster of a mind brings me so much joy, you don't even know. the fact that they cut off his growth in canon disappoints me to this day.

omgggg i can't wait to hear how you like the ending!! <3

ask answers under the cut:

5. What's something you learned while researching this fic? Without spoiling anything, Kai takes the heretics over to France and they go to a town called Lille. my lovely friend @nevereverthem suggested it and helped me figure out to utilize the location. I LOVE using real locations in my work so this was a lot of fun to do!

I'm also always trying to use my knowledge of craft when I can - so any use of magical herbs, holidays, etc. comes from my personal research

9. How did you get into writing fanfiction? I've been a writer my whole life, but the first fic i ever posted was back in 2014 for sasusaku. I had been out of the naruto fandom for a few years but then we were given a weak ass ending and i simply had to fix it lol

I've also written for zutara and dramione, although those works never manage to hold my attention for very long and i end up using them more as exercises in between my own stuff. (but i'm sure you can see i have a type in ship dynamic lmao)

i rewatch tvd s6 every october, and last year the bonkai fixation just came back with a vengeance. I wrote the first draft of my original work last spring and then got swept into writing Hits Different because I wasn't ready to let go of them yet - and now here we are <3

13. Do you have an 'official' creative writing background such as a degree or previous experience publishing? I do! I majored in theatre performance and minored in English and Creative Writing.

I'm currently working on querying my original bonkai work which will (hopefully) be an 8 book fantasy series inspired by bonkai and the parkers.

28. What's the angstiest idea you've ever come up with? Oof, bestie, did you get to chapter 24 yet?

i don't want to spoil anything but i had a lot of fun taking canon events and going: now what if kai and bonnie were in that scene? It was great to prove how easy it would have been to center bonnie/the gemini's in the plots of s7-8 the way they so clearly should have been.

in general a lot of my work both fanon and original deals with grief, childhood trauma and mental health, which is one reason why kai means so much to me as a muse character. i end up working through my own stuff with him (or my kai coded mmc) more than i'd like to admit, lol

thank you so much for stopping by!! <333