#and just in general its kinda fun to just jump into something in the middle without knowing everything

[softspaceboibrian]

The Heart Wants What It Wants || Jamie Tartt

Pairing: Jamie Tartt x Y/N where Y/N works at AFC Richmond || I used she/her pronouns, but there is no actual physical description, so the pronouns can be switched with whatever anyone wants or prefers!

Characters: Jamie Tartt; Keeley Jones and Rebecca Welton (Y/N's best friends); Sam Obisanya, Isaac McAdoo, Colin Hughes and Dani Rojas (Jamie's support team); Roy (being his usual grumpy self).

Summary: when Y/N goes into Rebecca's office to have her usual morning chat with her best friends, she doesn't expect it to result in a very messy confession from her crush.

Warnings: bad language, like a lot. slight sexual harassment. Roy being harsh with Jamie. Jamie being all over the place with his feelings. fluff, a lot of pining and crushing. just bad writing, really.

WC: 8355 (it's kinda long, I know... but I didn't know where to stop! sorry!)

A/N: This is my first time writing for JAmie or any Ted Lasso character in general. I hadn't written anything in months, and I guess it shows. but I was so sad that there weren't enough Jamie fics on here that I thought I could just write one of my own. hopefully people like it! I'm in the middle of my exam session, but if you have any requests or suggestions, feel free to write me!

this gif is completely unrelated, i just love phil dunstan

“Come in” Rebecca’s voice was clear and loud as always, even through the closed door. As you walked in, you took in the smell of hot tea permeating the door – definitely something you could always count on.

You greeted both Rebecca and Keeley, before plopping down on the sofa right in front of the big windows looking out onto the field. You looked out for a moment, noticing the team making their way outside to finally begin practice. You had been working at AFC Richmond for almost a year now, all thanks to Miss Keeley fucking Jones, obviously. Ever since you first day there, everyone had immediately started treating you as if you had always been part of the family, especially Rebecca. “If Keeley likes you so much, it must definitely mean something.” That was her excuse when she invited you out for drinks with the two of them on the second day. “Also, there’s only so many women working at AFC Richmond, we have to stick together, don’t we?” And the rest was history, as some author would say. Even the team had liked you since the get-go. Some more than others. There should be a disclaimer here: you had never cared for football, in any of its forms. But Keeley had been so persuading, making the job sound like a party. And she wasn’t lying. Being with the team was more fun than you could have ever imagined. Yes, some of them were self-centred, and some were self-centred pricks, even. But somehow, you had taken a liking to all of them. And now, after an entire year of working there, you knew them so well that she could even make out who was who all the way from Rebecca’s office.

You were so lost in your own thoughts, that when Keeley talked, you almost jumped out of her seat. “Babes, is everything alright?” Her voice was kind as always. “You seem off today.”

“Everything is fine.” You fixed yourself, turning around so to face both of your friends.

You smiled, or rather you forced yourself to make your smile feel as real as possible. But when you met Rebecca’s gaze you froze. She was holding one of those shortbread biscuits that Ted brought her in every morning and that you only had the pleasure to taste once and, well, you completely understood why Rebecca loved them so much. “I call bullshit.”

“What?”

“I said I call bullshit.” The woman put the last remaining bit of biscuit in the small, pink cardboard box, as to save it for later, and then made her way on the couch with you and Keeley. “You have been off for, well, quite a few days now. And I love that you’re an independent woman and everything, but Keeley and I are your friends. Actually, I would like to believe that we are your best friends. We care for you and we would very much appreciate it if you would trust us enough to come to us with your problems and thoughts.”

“Yeah, babes. You know we’re always here for you.” Keeley moved closer to you and leaned against the back of the couch.

You sighed, burying your face in your hands. You had wanted to talk with them for a while now, but you were always too afraid they wouldn’t care about it, or you were too embarrassed about how they might react to it. But this time it was them that asked you to tell them. And they seemed truly interested in knowing what was going on in your mind.

“Chop, chop, out with it.” Rebecca let her heels fall to the ground and set herself comfortably in the corner of the couch. Yeah, well, as comfortable as that extremely fitted pencil skirt gave her permission to.

You bit your lip for a moment, gathering all the courage you had. “It’s stupid, really.” You tried to laugh it off, hoping that they would just let it go.

But they didn’t. “It’s not stupid if it’s making you feel like this.” Keeley said, putting a hand on yours.

“Fine.” You sighed, looking off in front of you. “I think I may have feelings for Jamie.” You blurted out as quickly as you could.

“Our Jamie? Like, Jamie Tartt?” Keeley asked.

“I know it’s stupid. I shouldn’t like him, right? I know you think it’s stupid. I know you think he’s a prick, and you’re not wrong. I know that he’s a prick. Fuck, that makes me hate myself even more. How could I like a prick? Well, he had changed a bit, and now he-s a bit less of a prick. But still, he’s Jamie fucking Tartt, he’s probably one of the hottest footballers out there, in any way possible. He could fucking have whoever he wanted. Hell, he could have a fucking model. I’m sure he had model. He had you, Keels. And I’m just me. I fucking hate that I’m feeling this.” You started rambling on aimlessly, putting out there in only a few seconds all the fears and insecurities you had been holding in for the past who knows how long.

“Hey, love. Just, wait a minute.” Rebecca’s voice broke your train of thoughts, thankfully just in time, or who knows where you could’ve ended. “Let’s just calm down a moment, okay?”

“It’s just-” You sighed. “I hate that I’m feeling these feelings. I don’t want to feel them. Not for him. I don-t want to be his latest conquest that he’s going to move on from and forget as soon as he finds someone more interesting. I don’t want this. But I can’t help it. I… Fuck, I feel like I’m back in middle school. Shit, shit, shit. How old am I? 12? No, I’m not. I’m 25 years old, for fuck’s sake. I should fall for proper man. Not people like him.” Your eyes filled up with tears, which you tried to hide as best as you could, even though you knew that the other two would notice them, nonetheless.

And they did. Rebecca and Keeley shared a quick glance, before sliding even closer to you, both immediately wrapping their arms around your figure. “Listen, babes. You said it yourself. I’ve been with Jamie, and he was in his top prick form back then. Now he’s… he’s changing. I don’t know if it’s the training with Roy or if it’s Ted finally rubbing off on him, but he’s no longer the dickhead I dumped almost two years ago.”

“She’s right. He has changed.” Rebecca agreed with Keeley. “Also, you cannot tell your heart what it should and shouldn’t feel. It will only cause you more pain, and we definitely don’t want that.” The woman had this motherly instinct that you had always loved. She always knew what to say to make you feel better, or at least less shitty about yourself. “And remember, you could never do worse than me. I was married to the king of the shitheads.” She added, which made both you and Keeley laugh.

“Okay, let’s do this.” Keeley got up and ran to the door, only to lock it and run back to the couch. “If it’s alright with Rebecca, we’re going to take the morning off to talk, just the three of us.”

“Sounds perfect to me. I really didn’t have much to do anyway.” Rebecca was a great liar. You knew she probably had so many documents to read through and to sign. But she always made time to help you with your problems. And that’s why you loved her so much. “Is that right with you, love?”

You didn’t even need to say anything. You barely nodded, and next thing you knew, the three of you were sitting on the couch with no shoes on, a warm cup of tea each and a big chunky blanket on your legs. You never really thought they would be this open with you. Yes, they had made it clear ever since the beginning that they liked you and that they cared for you. But you had never thought that you could go to them for something like that and they would do all of that for you. But they did.

“Okay, let’s start with one simple question: are you two talking? Or, I don’t know, did you go on a date?” Keeley’s question was very straightforward and made completely sense. However, the answer wasn’t as easy to give.

“Well, we haven’t really gone on like a proper date. But we did spend quite a lot of time together last week.” You looked at the other two and you could feel them asking for more information with just their eyes. “It didn’t start as the best of situations…”

------------------------------ FLASHBACK ------------------------------

You didn’t really want to go out that night. It wasn’t really your thing. You usually spent your nights at home, reading a book or watching a movie. Or, if you were lucky, you would go out with Keeley and Rebecca for dinner and drinks, which you loved. What you didn’t love was going out for drinks with people you weren’t as comfortable with. But you had never really learnt how to say no to people, so when your old high school friend – who had moved to America for college and you hadn’t heard from since – messaged you on Instagram, saying that she was back in London for a few days and wanted to go out with you to “catch up”, you couldn’t really bring yourself to decline the offer or make up an excuse. So, you just agreed and made plans to meet up with her in front of a very busy and very fancy place downtown. You hated clubs, especially busy one, but even more you hated going to new places without people you knew. But you knew the girl, in a way. You were really close in high school, so things shouldn’t be too bad, right?

“So, you’re working for a football club! Never thought it would happen!” The girl shouted over the loud music which you were already hating with all your guts. But you just pulled through it.

“Yeah, it’s a good job.” You hated having to raise your voice so much, but it was the least you could do if you wanted to have a conversation with her.

“Do you know any famous footballer?”

“I mean, I know the boys from the team. I suppose they’re famous now. But yeah.”

“Would you introduce me to any of them?”

There it was. You had been talking with her for half an hour and, knowing how she was back in high school, you had been wondering how she hadn’t yet asked you about the guys. A small part of you really wanted to believe that she had changed and that she had stopped sleeping around with guys just because they were hot. But apparently, you were wrong. “Well, it’s complicated. They’re in the middle of the Premier season right now, and most of them are training really hard hoping to be rostered for their national teams. Plus, you’re only going to be in town for a few days, so that wouldn’t really work.”

“I wouldn’t mind moving my flight back for a footballer.” She smirked.

“Maybe next time.” You fake-smiled. “Also, who would want to go out with a football player? Most of them are self-centred assholes who only care about winning.”

“But they are sexy and they have money.”

“But you’re studying law in an ivy league college, you could be the one with money in the relationship.”

“Nah, I don’t really care about that. If a hot guy with money wanted to be with me, I would literally give everything up.” She said, as if that was the most obvious answer. Now you were remembering why you never reached out to her after high school was over.

You spent another half hour listening to her blabbering about something you didn’t really care about. And you could tell that she knew, but didn’t say anything. That was how things had always been between the two of you back in school: she was the popular one, with guys running after her, and her constantly cancelling plans that you two had made to go on a date with a different guy, while you spent your afternoons with the drama club, putting on the next show, to which she was always invited but she never came. It wasn’t all bad. You actually had good times with her. You spent a lot of time over at her house, and you were almost part of her family. But once you were no longer forced to see each other every single day at school, it didn’t take long for you to realise you were completely different. So, you just stopped looking for each other, making plans or going out. That’s why, when the messages stopped coming altogether, it didn’t really hurt you, since you were the first that had started to back out from that friendship. But years had passed and you had really hoped she had grown out of that phase of her life. But you were wrong. People never change, that was what you said to yourself as you were absentmindedly nodding to whatever she was saying now.

“Listen, Y/N, do you mind if I leave you alone here for a moment? There’s a guy over there that has been eyeing me for a while now and, I don’t know, I have this feeling I should go over there.” That was her usual excuse. I have this feeling. As if sexual craving could be described as an actual feeling. But you didn’t care, you actually wouldn’t mind to spend a few minutes by yourself. So, you just told her to go. And she did. Not a single “are you sure you don’t mind” nor an “it will be quick, I promise”. She simply picked all her stuff up and left.

And then you were alone.

You thought about leaving a couple of times, but you thought it would be rude because what would happen if she came back and you weren’t there?

So, you just remained seated there, in the small booth, waiting. And waiting. You looked around, studying the crowd, and hoping that she would just come back, or at least text you to let you know her intentions for the rest of the night. But that message never came. And you waited there, alone.

Until, after almost twenty minutes, a random man approached you. He had to have been at least 15 years older than you. He was dressed all fancy, a black blazer and jeans, a white shirt with the first couple of buttons left open to show a few sparse grey hairs on his chest, as if that was something that all women found sexy; I mean, who did he think he was? Roy Kent? He walked over to your table and leaned on it to get closer to you. “Is this seat taken?”

The first thing that hit you was the almost nauseating amount of perfume and aftershave, closely followed by the stench of cigarette and alcohol as soon as he opened his mouth. “I’m waiting for a friend.” You replied, hoping that would be enough to send him away.

“I’ve noticed you’ve been sitting here alone for quite some time now.” He smiled, and you wanted to throw up. “And I don’t she’s coming back. She and that boy looked very intimate if you know what I mean.”

That comment sent shivers down your spine. How long had he been looking at you? “I’m waiting for another friend of ours.” You said, hoping that he would buy it.

He moved closer to you. “Let me wait with you. I wouldn’t want to leave such a pretty girl out here on her own.”

You hated when people called you a girl. You were a grown woman, for god’s sake! But you hated it even more when that comment came from creepy old men that were nonchalantly flirting with you.

“They should be here any minute now.” You replied quickly. “And I actually prefer to sit alone.”

“Nonsense! Let me keep you company!” He smirked, sliding even closer to you. You were on the verge of tears, feeling this awful sensation in your stomach. You felt like you were going to throw up, and you weren’t sure whether it was because of his terrible taste in perfumes, the horrible stench of smoke, or just his presence in general. You wanted to just get up and get away, but it was as if your legs had forgotten how to move. You tried to insist, telling him that you were going to meet them outside, but he wouldn’t let you go. He started moving his hand, and you knew that, if you didn’t move, he would put it on your thigh. But, with tears pooling at the corners of your eyes, your body completely froze.

“Y/N!” A voice called your name. You turned around to look at the source. Your vision was hazy from the tears, and the strobe lights weren’t exactly helping you in that moment. “I’m sorry I’m late, I couldn’t find a spot to park me car.” He walked over to your table and waited for you to do or say something to sit next to you.

“You’re Jamie fucking Tartt!” The old man exclaimed. “Fuck, man. You’re great! My mates and I don’t really like Richmond, but you’re the best player in the team. You and that Oby- Obe-, you know, the Nigerian guy.”

“Yeah, cheers, man.” Jamie replied, taking a seat next to you. “Now, would you mind leaving us alone?”

“Is she your date?” The man asked, and you could tell that he was confused because why would a star like Jamie Tartt go out with a normal girl like you?

“Do you have a problem?”

“No, no!” The old man finally stood up from the table. “You enjoy her.” He smirked and gave him a wink, before looking at you up and down for the last time and eventually leave.

You finally could feel your body relax again when your attention was caught by Jamie talking. “What a fucking creep.” He shook his head, before finally looking at you. “Are you alright? Did he do anything to you?”

You shook your head. “I think you got here just in time.” You smiled at him, almost feeling guilty for probably having ruined his night.

“Were you here alone?”

“Well, not really. I was here with a friend but she left with a guy.” You stopped, quickly looking around. “But I don’t think she’s coming back.”

“Some kind of friend.” He sighed, still looking at you, as if he were studying you, trying to understand if everything was truly okay, trying to assess the situation. “Do you want to leave?”

“What?”

“I said, do you want to go out, maybe grab a bite?” He raised his voice, thinking that you might have not heard him over the loud music.

“Don’t worry, I’m okay. You can go back to your evening if you want. I’m fine, I swear.”

“I was here on me own.”

“You go to clubs alone?”

“Well, yeah.” He looked at you for a moment. “Listen, really, I don’t have anything to do here. And in any case, I would much rather spend time with you. So, if you want to leave and do something actually funny instead of waiting for some shitty friend to hopefully come back, then count me in.”

------------------------- END OF FLASHBACK -------------------------

“Did you go with him?” Keeley asked, looking at you as if she was watching the latest episode of a soap opera, completely hooked up to the story.

“We spent the entire night together.” You said shyly.

“Doing what?” You had never seen Rebecca so shocked and interested in a story in a while.

“We ate in a chicken shop; we stayed there talking for a while and then we took a walk.”

“How long did you stay out for?”

You could feel both Keeley’s and Rebecca’s eyes on you, demanding an answer, wanting to know more, to know everything. “Well, we took the sunrise as our cue to go home.”

“Babes! You’re telling me that you stayed up all night talking with Jamie?” Keeley squealed, jumping on her knees. “Like, you found topics to talk about for, what, 7? 8 hours?”

“It wasn’t that difficult. I didn’t even have to force it.”

“What did you talk about?” Asked Rebecca. And all of a sudden, the almost 50-year-old and 30-year-old women in front of you turned back into their high school personas and you almost wanted to laugh at how adorably funny that scene was.

“Well, a bit of everything, you know. Our lives, where we grew up, our favourite things, favourite food, favourite movie, favourite city, the books that have impacted us the most, the cities that we dream of visiting one day. Normal stuff.”

Keeley looked at you, in complete shock. “You talked about books. With Jamie. How?”

“He said that he had noticed I like to read and asked me about my favourite book. I told him and then asked him the same thing. And he told me.” You replied, as if that was obvious. But it was only then that you remember that Keeley had been with Jamie in the past and, if she was that shocked, it must have meant that, when they were together, he didn’t read. Possibly at all.

“Babes, remember when I told you he had changed since I had broken up with him, right? Well, that’s an understatement. When we were together, it was fun, but we didn’t really talk about that kind of stuff. He was much more superficial. I don’t think he never really asked me what my favourite food was. And the fact that he was taking an interest in all of those things about you, well, it definitely means something. I wouldn’t take that for granted.” Hearing Keeley, someone you trusted with all of your heart, someone you loved and looked up to, someone that truly knew who you were talking about, saying all of those things, made you feel things. You didn’t know what those things meant, but they were things you hadn’t felt in a long time. And for the first time in days, you were finally accepting the idea of having feelings for Jamie Tartt.

After a few moments of silence, Rebecca asked you “Was that the only time you spent time together?”

“Well, no. I mean, we’ve been talking basically every single day. He sends me a good morning text almost every day, and we talk a lot at night. Sometimes he calls me.”

“Okay, okay. That’s good.” Rebecca said, almost as if she was an investigator gather all the evidence. “But you didn’t answer my question: did you go out another time?”

You immediately felt heat rising to your cheeks. “We didn’t really go out.” You looked at the two women in silence for a moment. “Last night he… ehm… he showed up to my place.”

“What?” They both almost screamed at the same time.

------------------------------ FLASHBACK ------------------------------

You had just finished putting on your pyjamas after a long warm shower. You still had to decide what you wanted to eat, something you always dreaded because, as much as you loved cooking, you hated preparing food for one. You started making your way down the stairs and to the kitchen when your doorbell rang. You weren’t really expecting anyone, so the sound left you confused. You looked through the peephole before even saying anything, so that if it was someone you didn’t know, you could jut pretend you weren’t at home. But, when you looked through it, you were surprised to see Jamie standing right outside of your door.

You immediately took a look at yourself in the mirror right beside the door, trying to make yourself look at least presentable, before finally opening the door. When Jamie’s entire figure came into view, you noticed the food boxes in his hands. “Jamie?”

“Hi, Y/N! Ehm, I’m sorry to barge in on you like this but… ehm… I thought we could spend some time together, you know?” Was Jamie blushing?

You stood there, a soft smile on your lips, looking at the man in front of you. “Sure.” You giggled, moving to open the door even more, as a way to let him in.

“I’m sorry, I should have texted or called. That was stupid. If you’re busy I can just-”

You cut him off. “Jamie. I’m not busy. You can come in. I just wasn’t expecting visitors, so the house is, well, it’s not tidy.” You take a step forward to take some of the boxes off of him. “What’s with all of this food? Did you rob a supermarket?” You laughed, nodding your head as a sign for him to follow you, before making your way to the kitchen.

“No!” He laughed, and suddenly you felt this weird sensation in your stomach. “I didn’t know what you were craving and so I got everything that you told me you liked.” He said, while putting the boxes on the counter. “I got us a pizza to share, because you said you’re not a huge fan, but that you like to eat it while watching movies. I also got us kebabs because they’re always good, and sushi because why not. Oh, and I also got us those spicy Korean rice thingies that you said you love so much. What’s their name? Tee- To-”

You laughed as he struggled to say the word. “Tteokbokki.”

“Yeah, those.” He smiled, putting his hands on his sides.

“Just a question.” You walked around the kitchen gathering cutlery and plates to eat. “How many people did you think were going to be here? There’s enough food to feed an army.”

He looked at you and then the food, before bursting out laughing. “I told you! I didn’t know what you were craving. And I wanted to do something nice for you, but I overdid it.”

You put the plates on the counter and turned to look at him. “It’s okay, I appreciate it anyways.” You smiled. “But why would you wanted to do this for me? It’s not my birthday or anything.”

“I just… I had a very good time with you the other night.” Was Jamie blushing? Again? “And I was really in the mood to watch a good movie. So, who better than you to watch it with.”

You smiled, trying to hide the blushing coming onto your cheeks as well by turning your attention to the food on the counter. “Did you have a movie in mind?” You asked, while putting the different foods on the plates.

“You said that you really like Dead Poets Society, right? And that you think everyone should watch it at least once in their lifetime, right? So, I thought, since I’ve never seen it, we could, I don’t know, watch it together. If you want to, obviously.” He waited for you to plate the food to pick a couple of plates up and follow you into the living room.

“That actually sounds like a perfect plan, Mr Tartt.” You smiled, while taking a seat on the couch, waiting for him to join you.

------------------------- END OF FLASHBACK -------------------------

“Fucking hell, that’s adorable!” Keeley exclaimed. “He never did that for me! When he showed up uninvited, it was usually because he wanted to have sex.”

“Well, this is good!” Rebecca joined in. “He has changed. He listened to what you told him, he remembered your favourite food and your favourite movie. And before you say something like ‘but that’s not a big dead!’, yes it fucking is. It is a huge deal. Men aren’t always reliable. Rupert never was, at least. I vividly remember telling him my favourite drink at least a dozen times. And every single time he would get me something completely different. At the beginning I was too afraid to say anything, so I just drank it. But then I started to speak up. And still, he didn’t remember.”

“Yeah, okay, but him remembering that I like pizza only when watching movie doesn’t mean he feels anything for me.” You said, throwing your head back.

“I’m sorry, babes, didn’t you say that he told you that he wanted to spend time with you?” Keeley asked. “You said it yourself: he came to your place with all the food you had told him you liked and suggested to watch your favourite movie together because he had had a good time with you and wanted to do that again.”

“He decided to spend time with you rather than going out with other people or spend the night texting some random girl on dating apps.” Added Rebecca. “He chose to be with you.”

“I suppose you’re right.” You sighed. “I still don’t think he has feelings for me, though.”

“Whatever, babes.” Keeley took a sip out of her mug, before refocusing on you. “What happened next? Did you watch the movie?”

“Yes, we did.” You smiled at the memory. “He got emotional at the end. I’m not saying that he cried, but he definitely had glossy eyes by the time of the ‘O Captain, my Captain’ scene.”

“Which means he feels comfortable enough to show his emotions in front of you.” Rebecca noted. “And what happened next? Did he leave or did you spend another night talking?” She smirked, trying to make fun of you in a friendly way, almost mom-like.

“Well, he stayed a while longer.” You looked at the two women. “We talked a little about the movie, he told me what he thought of it, we discussed a little about why I thought it is a very important and still relevant movie, and he agreed with me. At first, I have to be honest, I thought he was just agreeing with me to not make me feel bad. But then he added to my argument and I stood corrected. He had truly understood the point of the movie and of my thoughts. For the first time in, gosh, I don’t even know how long, I felt seen, listened and understood by someone that wasn’t you two or Sam.”

Keeley brought a hand to her chest. “I have conflicted feelings because, by the way you’re talking, I want to tell you to just run out of here and into this man’s arms; but at the same time, every now and then, I remember you’re talking about Jamie, and it feels so weird because he’s so different from what I remember him to be like.” She explained. “Which is good, but kind of unsettling.”

Rebecca nodded along with what Keeley said, before eventually turning once again to face you. “What happened after you talked?”

“We decided to watch Modern Family, you know, to cheer ourselves up after the movie.”

“And?” Asked in unison the two women.

“And nothing.”

“I call bullshit.” Said Rebecca.

“Agreed.” Added Keeley. “What aren’t you telling us?”

“Nothing!”

“That’s not true!” They once again spoke in unison, which was starting to become quite weird.

“Nothing happened. We just… fell asleep.” You almost murmured those last words, almost too scared to say it out loud in front of them.

“I’m sorry, what?” Asked Rebecca, who had obviously heard and just wanted you to say it again out loud.

“We fell asleep!” You shouted. And you were so glad that Rebecca’s office was so high up and far from others. “As we were watching the show, he started leaning into me. At first, he laid his head on my shoulder, and then, somehow, we ended up with his head in my lap and my hands in his hair.” You could feel your cheeks burning up.

The two women shared a quick look, before turning back to you, huge smiles on their faces. “When did he fall asleep?” Asked Keeley.

“I don’t know.” You looked down at your own hands. “I fell asleep as well. I don’t know how or when, but when I woke up, it was like 3 in the morning, and we were lying on the couch. He had his head on my stomach and an arm draped over my waists.”

“What did you do?”

“Nothing.” You were fidgeting with your bracelet, too embarrassed to look up and meet your friends’ eyes. “I didn’t do anything. I didn’t want to do anything. I didn’t want him to go away.” For some reason your eyes started filling up with tears.

“Hey, babes. It’s all right.”

“No, it’s not!” You almost shouted, tears finally falling down your face. “It’s not fucking okay. I hate feeling like this.”

“Love, hey, just… wait a second. Take a deep breath.” Rebecca moved closer and wrapped her arms around you. “Why do you hate it?”

“I don’t know. I’m feeling all these things for someone that doesn’t even like me back.”

“You don’t know that, Y/N.” Keeley moved closer as well, taking your hand in hers and leaning her head against yours. “I mean, you’re the coolest person I know, you’re fucking smart and interesting, and you’re fit as fuck. I think most of the team has at least a tiny crush on you.” She smiled, hoping to cheer you up. But that didn’t work.

“Listen, love.” Rebecca squeezed you, before pulling away slightly. “As that song says, the heart wants what it wants. I know feeling like this is terrible, but there’s only one thing that you can really do, and that’s talking to him.”

“But what if he says that he was just being a good friend? What if I misread every single thing he has done and said to me up until now?”

“And what if you haven’t?” Keeley asked. “Finding you at that club was completely random, pure luck. But he then chose to spend the entire night with you. Just like he chose to send you a good morning text every single day, and he chose to come and spend the evening with you. Also, I’m almost 100% sure that he woke up as well during the night, but didn’t say anything because he didn’t want to go, just like you didn’t want him to leave.” Keeley brushed a rogue strand of hair out of your face. “I know it’s hard, but you have to act.”

“But I’m scared.”

“Which means that you care.” Rebecca smiled. “You care about him and about your relationship.”

You looked at the two women in silence for a few moments. You wanted to cry, and you wanted to scream. You wanted to run out of there and straight to Jamie. You wanted to hug Keeley and Rebecca ad tell them how much you loved them. But all you could do in that moment was smile and be glad for the wonderful friends you had. “So, I should go and talk to him?”

“Yes.” Keeley smiled.

“And you should do it right now.” Said Rebecca, standing up from the couch. “The team is going back inside, which could be a good moment for you to swoop in and talk with Jamie.” She seamlessly slipped back in her high heels and fixed her blouse. “And if anyone has anything to say about it, they will have to come to me. I’m the owner of this club, after all.” She winked.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

The team had just made their way to the changing room, ready to hear Roy giving them “pointers”, or rather making sure they knew every little thing they had done wrong. But Jamie didn’t really care about that. Jamie knew that he had played like shit, but he couldn’t help it. His head was someplace else.

“Oi, Tartt!” Roy’s voice echoed in the room, and everyone’s head turned to look at the man sitting in front of his changing station. “What the fuck were you thinking, uh? You fucked all the assists. The team was constantly looking for you, and you were nowhere to be found!”

Jamie’s eyes remained low on the ground. “’m sorry, coach.” His voice was soft. “I’ll do better next time.”

His teammates couldn’t believe what they were seeing. Somehow, in the span of 24 hours, Jamie had lost all of his confidence. They looked at him and almost couldn’t recognise him. And the worst past was that no one really knew what to do with him, how to talk to him, how to cheer him up. Because that’s the thing with teams: you’re a family, you’re all extremely close, but you’re still a bunch of men that don’t know how to handle emotions and how to talk about their feelings. So, they just bottle everything up and hope that, sooner or later, it will just go away.

But right now, looking at Jamie, Sam felt compelled by something to just stand up and walk over to him, to say something. “Is everything all right?”

Sam’s voice startled Jamie, who was so deep in his thoughts he had almost forgotten he was at the clubhouse. “Uh?” Jamie looked up and was met by Sam’s concerned look. “No, yeah, everything is fine.”

“It don’t look like it, bruv.” Isaac joined in the conversation.

Sam took a seat next to Jamie. “You don’t have to talk to us about whatever is on your mind. We’re not going to force you. Just know that we’re here for you.”

“Sì, muchacho. We’re a familia.” Dani and Colin walked over as well, almost forming a barrier between him and the rest of the room, creating a safe space for him.

No one said anything for a few moments, most of them unsure of how to act, of what to say to him. They wanted to ask him, to help him, but they had no idea how. So, they all remained quiet, until Jamie broke the silence. “I feel so stupid.” Jamie’s voice was low. “I… I feel like a middle schooler.”

“What do you mean?” Colin asked.

Sam immediately turned to look at Jamie. “Did something happen with your dad?” And Jamie could feel the worry in Sam’s voice.

“No, no, I haven’t talked with me dad since Wembley.” He shook his head, rubbing his face. “No, I… You’re going to laugh…” He looked up, but all he saw was seriously interested faces, the faces of friends that were genuinely concerned for him. “I have a crush…” He almost whispered, but it was still loud enough for them to hear. They all shared a quick look amongst themselves, before turning to look again at the man sitting before them. “I feel so stupid because, usually, I have all this confidence with women, right? I’m so sure about me self that I don’t worry about the possibility of a rejection. It doesn’t affect me, usually…”

Sam nodded along with everything that Jamie said, as if he could relate to every little detail. “But with this woman in particular, you’re scared.”

Isaac asked the question that everyone wanted to ask. “Who is this woman?”

Jamie looked up from the ground, meeting everyone’s eyes. He could tell that his friends wanted to help him, but something was stopping him, almost too afraid to admit he had feelings for her, too scared that they would laugh in his face and say that she deserved better than him.

“Muchacho, you’re a beautiful man, and every woman would be lucky to be with you.” Dani always had this way of talking that could give confidence even to the shiest and most introverted person in the world.

“No, you don’t understand. This woman is different from the others.” He sighed. “She’s not a top model or an aspiring actress that wants to be with me because I’m famous. She’s… she’s different.” Jamie started fidgeting with the ends of his shoelaces. “And I’m different. I’m not the same person I was two years ago, I know that. And I think that’s why I’m so scared. Like, what if she doesn’t like me? What if she still thinks I’m a prick? Uh?”

“Listen, boyo. You said it yourself; you have changed. And if this woman doesn’t like your new you, then too bad for her.” Colin took a seat next to Jamie, opposite to Sam. “But if you truly like her, you should tell her. Don’t let your fear get in the way of your happiness, okay?”

“Yeah, like Selena Gomez said in her song, the heart wants what it wants.” Smiled Dani.

Jamie looked at those people around him, and for a moment he felt all the guilt for how he had treated them two years before rise to the top. Did they forget everything he had done to them? Did they forget how bad he had made them feel? He had treated them so poorly, and yet, now they were there, next to him, showing care and interest in how he was feeling. “Thank you, boys.” He smiled softly.

“You know we’re here.” Sam smiled, giving him a small push with the shoulder. “We’re family.”

“Yeah, bruv.” Isaac added. “But are you going to tell us who this woman is or not?”

However, their conversation was cut short by the door to the changing room opening, and Y/N walking in, looking around, clearly searching for someone. And that was when the boys realised Jamie didn’t need to tell them anything, because as soon as he saw her, he stood up. He fixed his hair and immediately took a step forward. None of them said anything. They just remained quiet and watched the scene unfold in front of their eyes.

“Jamie.” You smile once you finally met his eyes.

“Y/N” He replied, softly, taking another step towards her.

“Do you… do you think we could talk for a moment? Alone?” She said quietly, but the silence in the room made it extremely complicated for her not to be heard by everyone.

Jamie nodded. “Yeah, sure.”

You smiled, turning around to exit the changing room. Jamie took a deep breath, turning quickly to look at the four guys standing a few steps away from him. He nodded to them, and they nodded to him in return, as a way to say ‘you got this’ or ‘go get her’. So, he took one more deep breath, and followed her outside.

Once he stepped into the corridor, he noticed Keeley and Rebecca standing in the middle of it, looking at the two of them. Keeley smiled, which gave Jamie a boost of confidence, Whereas Rebecca was looking at him in such an intimidating way that immediately sent shivers running down his spine. He knew they were there for you, and he knew how much they cared for you, so it wasn’t difficult for him to understand what Rebecca’s gaze meant: ‘break her heart and I’ll break you’.

He greeted the two women with a quick nod, before realising you were still walking down the corridor. “Wait up, Y/N!” He said, jogging after you. “Where are we going?”

“Boot room. It’s the quietest place in here.” You looked at him, noticing his expression, as if he wanted to say something. “I already asked Will to leave us alone in there.” You replied, quickly grabbing him by his hand and pulling him through the doorway.

“You always think about everything.” He chuckled, getting into the room. He never really understood when or how that room had become like a sort of therapy room for the team, where most of them went when they needed to get something off of their chest or just be alone, but couldn’t leave the clubhouse. That place stank like hell. But he was glad nonetheless for the privacy. “You had your supporters with you as well, uh?” He smiled.

“Yeah.” You laughed under your breath. “They are actually the ones that forced me to come and talk to you.”

“Should I be scared, then?”

“No! No.” You shake your head. “I don’t think so.” You started pacing around the room, trying to give order to all the things you had in your head at the moment.

“Is everything alright?” Jamie looked at you, slightly worried.

You looked at him, taking a deep breath. “Yes.” You nodded. “Just give me a moment because I haven’t really thought about what I want to say to you. Or rather, how I want to say it to you.”

Jamie nodded, taking a step towards you and catching your hand before you stepped away again. “Do you mind if I go first, then?”

You looked at him, surprise painted all over your face. You didn’t know what to say, so you simply nodded, waiting for him to talk.

“Okay, so, first of all, I wanted to tell you that last night was… well, I really enjoyed spending time with you, and I really wish we could do it more often.” He smiled, squeezing your hand as a way to catch your attention. “And then to the difficult part... Okay. The boys told me to just be me self. But it’s difficult, you know? Because, like, I am always me self, but when I’m with you, I’m different from how I am with the others. Not in the sense that I’m not truly me self, but in the sense that, when I’m with you, I’m me self even more than usual.” He stopped, looking down. “Sorry, I didn’t really have anything prepared either.” He chuckles.

You couldn’t help but smile. “Go on, you’re doing great.” You said, trying to look at him in the eyes.

“What I’m trying to say is that when I’m with you, I feel like I’m truly me self. Like I’m the most authentic version of me. And I like it. I want to be like that always. But I feel like I can only be like that when I’m with you.” He looks at you. “I lied before. I don’t want to be with you more often.” You stopped and looked at him completely confused. “I want to be with you as much as I can. I want to be with you every fucking day.” You giggled, feeling the blood rushing up your neck and to your cheeks. “I want to make lunch for you. Well, no, okay. I want to learn how to make lunch for you. I want to take you out to dinner. And I also want to order in and watch a movie on a couch like we did last night. I want you to play with me hair because, fuck, that’s the most relaxing shit ever.” You bit your bottom lip, trying to contain all the happiness that you were feeling in that moment. “I want to go out with our friends and be able to show you off. I want to hold your hand as we walk down the street.”

“Jamie…”

“Wait a second.” He interrupted you, pulling you even closer. “I want you to wear my jersey at matches. And to cheer for me. And I want to kiss you whenever we win a match. In front of everyone. I want to go out and celebrate with the team, and while we’re there, I want to hold you close while we talk with them, and then be able to just walk home together and celebrate just the two of us. And I don’t mean have sex. I mean, that would be fun, but I meant like having a party just the two of us. Drinking, and dancing and laughing. Or we don’t have to go home, and we can just walk around town all night, like we did that time.” He became all serious all of a sudden. “I want to be able to protect you from creepy old men. Actually, no. That wouldn’t be necessary because you would never need to go out by yourself ever again.”

“Jamie, I…”

“Wait, I’m not done.” He interrupted you once more. “I want to be able to sleep over at your place and you over at mine. I want us to buy toothbrushes to leave at the other’s house. I want to wake up next to you like we did today, but I want that every single day. I want to have me clothes at your place and your clothes at mine. I want to drive Roy mad by telling him last minute that I’m sleeping over at your place, so he has to come all the way there. And after I’m done training with him, I want to stop at a cafe as I get back home and I want to buy your favourite latte, so that you can wake up to the smell of warm coffee every day.”

“Jamie!” You shouted, trying to stop him from talking.

“What?”

“Just-” Your hands found their way to the back of his head, as your eyes remained fixed on his. “Just kiss me, will you?” You laughed, before pulling him down towards you.

When your lips finally crashed against one another, you could feel the tension you had been holding in your stomach finally releasing. You pushed yourself on your tiptoes, as Jamie’s hands slowly and softly found their resting place on the small of your back, helping you up, and pulling you closer to his chest. Your hands played with his hair, and in that moment, you were sure he could feel your heart beating like crazy in your chest.

“So…” He whisper while pulling slightly away, only to press his forehead against yours. “Did you want to say something?”

You kept your eyes closed, too afraid to open them and realise that it was only just a dream. “I think you said everything.” You chuckled, trying to get some air back in your lungs.

“Well, if you wanted to say something…”

“Jamie.”

“What?”

“I love you.”

A/N: sorry, this was so long! so, if you read it all the way through, then thank you! please, feel free to leave me any kind of feedback and don't forget to send me suggestions or requests if you have them! thank you again! ily <3

[karlachismylife]

Standing For Something

This one was requested by @rerejunebug and it was a fun challenge, cuz I kinda understand Hesh better through his family bonds, so romantic partnership with him was a little bit of a riddle to me. Hope I did him justice, definitely had a good good time simply watching through his cutscenes and dialogues. A very special man indeed hehe.

CW: gn!military!reader, mentions of injury, kinda hurt/comfort I guess. Also cursing. Riley is there and he's alright!!!

(Title from Eminem's "Survival")

You were honestly more surprised than hurt, when in the middle of your retreat from a mission, compromsied by a whole Federation squad stumbling into you four (counting Riley), the ground suddenly jumped from under your feet and changed its place with the skies several times. Took you a second to realize that you simply fell and rolled downhill, another - to feel the hot sting in your leg, refusing to support your weight when you tried to get up and getting suspiciously colder despite feeling like it was burning.

A clean shot, in and out, cutting through some important shit deep in the tissue since it rendered you currently down one very crucial limb.

The next shot would've landed somewhere in your skull if Logan didn't provide cover.

"Shit," was your first word after you somewhat regained understanding of your situation. There wasn't much time to lounge on the ground under the constant gunshots chatter, so you grunted, turning over, and tried to get up at least on your hands and knees. There came baby's second word: "Fuck!"

Your leg was giving in under your weight, you slipped and prepared to hit the ground painfully again, when a solid arm wrapped around your torso, yanking you upright. The sheer force you were lifted up with caused your already whoozy from the bloodloss head to snap back. Blood ran cold in your body for a second, the whole world darkening before your eyes rolled back.

Then a familiar voice cut through the cotton (or was that Riley's fur?) stuffed in your ears, calling your name.

"...how copy? I repeat, how copy? Can you walk? Ah, shit, just hold on. I'm not leaving anyone behind."

Hearing David's solid promise made you want to try and find your footing again, but the best you could do was stumble, dragging your hurt leg as he hauled you along, your arm thrown over his broad shoulders.

Fucking guardian angel, your Lieutenant, coming through even under heavy fire.

Your head was spinning so much. What did that bloody bullet hit to fuck you up so badly?

"Riley, down! Take cover!" Nearly blew your ear off, suddenly ducking with you in that same steel grasp, rolling out of the way of something worse than bullets, judging by the noise and rubble flying everywhere from the spot you literally stood (well, Hesh stood, you were more like... located) seconds ago.

Saved your hide again. For the small price of your leg feeling like it got dipped into molten metal as you felt David's weight press down on you generously while he shielded you with his own body. Would've been so much nicer to feel all those kilograms and pounds of discipline and training paying off in some other circumstances.

"Still with me? Good. You're good. We're getting out of here." He could've told you that you'll die in five seconds and you would've still been enamoured with him all the same. Bloodloss didn't make you any sharper, and you already had been feeling the stupidfying effect of Hesh's presence for some time.

Damn, his eyes were greener than the grass in this burnt and torn world.

"Fuck, wanna kiss you," somehow slipped your tongue. You were pretty sure you were saying something else - assessing your condition, maybe? Giving directions? Anything else?

"What, now?! Here?!" Hesh didn't even seem fazed - did anything ever faze this always-prepared, never-taken by surprise man? He did have a point though.

"Yeah... sorry." How did he even understand your slurred speech? You wanted to add a proper "sir" too, show him you weren't completely out of your mind. Just a little out of blood and inhibitions, probably.

You blacked out in his arms the moment he hauled you up again. A limp bleeding body, sporting two wounds instead of the one you noticed.

Good men are defined by the choices they make.

David made a choice to leave no one behind.

[mochiwrites]

OMG IM SO SORRY I DIDNT MEAN TO MAKE IT SEEM LIKE IM STEALING 😭😭 i mean more using of constant breaks inbetween segments n such for the formatting?? like i know thats a general writing thing but i was never rlly inspired to use it until now! same thing goes for the writing style, like having it jump between other characters povs n such?? ive never done that before and honestly i usually find it disorienting to write but ive began dabbling in that too!! (plus the having the characters thoughts in parentheses like this, i do this for messages n such but ive began slowwwlyy worming it into my writing?? like i rlly like it)

i apologize if i worried you or anything im bad at wording shit but i promise i didnt mean to steal anything or make it sound weird 😭 its all just for my personal works with my ocs that i dont share ^^

sorry again :(

awe no you’re totally okay!!! <3333 I had a feeling that’s what you meant but wanted to clarify just in case ☺️ I’m bad at wording things too so I 100% feel you on that front <333

I’m glad I could inspire some stuff for you :D !!!! I love using line breaks because it makes it Super clear when there’s a scene change of some kind or a time skip — literally one of the best writing tools ever fr fr

and !!!! that’s so valid on sometimes finding pov changes disorienting, I think a lot of it comes down to how it’s done/how smooth it is?? I tend to mostly stick to pov changes in different scenes (i.e. scene 1 being grian’s pov, scene 2 being scar’s) but I’ve found it REALLY fun to pov change in the middle of a scene. the key to that I’ve found is changing to a diff pov when the character is responding to something. it makes it really smooth and you get to go into how that character is thinking/feeling in the moment :D

I really really love pov switches because I like getting into the nitty gritty of how a character is feeling (case in point with like an arrow DFNFNFKK) and it makes the story feel fuller to me if that makes sense?? it adds a lot of weight when you know Exactly how both characters are feeling (unless the writer Doesn’t want you to know immediately hehe)

and :D using the parentheses is always really like. I love using them when a character is having contradictory thoughts and the thoughts in the parentheses are the True feelings or they’re an afterthought kinda deal :3c I’m glad you like using them!!!

but 🥺 I’m glad you could get more than just a story from my writing and find things to try out yourself and work them into your writing too <3333

[rubyreal]

Atama ga happy chan - Amai Bouryoku (English translation)

This one's not on youtube yet but I did it awhile ago ヽ( ´¬`)ノ Theres not official lyrics for whatever is happening in the middle so its a general tl

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

I’m searching for panty shots with a serious look

I can’t drink anymore… But I’ll act chic and drink up!

Talking to my seniors, I get nervous for a moment

Seems it’s gonna be a pretty good day, right? 

AHA AHA

Every time Japan wins, he jumps into Dotonbori River

He parades around on Halloween with his full energy

And if he gets tired, he sleeps for a full 14 hours 

Isn’t it kinda cute?

AHA AHA

Papapapapparapa— I wonder what’s so fun about that?

Ieieie— I just can’t keep up with that guy's dark character facade 

Papapapapparapa— It may not have any reasoning behind it,

But why don’t you give it a shot anyways?

My head is HAPPY! Happy Happy

Anything’s good with me, as long as I’m excited 

HAPPY! Happy Happy

No really, I’m buzzing right now!

You, you guys, those guys, everyone, all of you are HAPPY!

I look really stupid posting on Instagram, but I’m still really picky about my photos

I know a lot more delicious restaurants then I probably should

When I talk, I’m not very loud

I guess it’s turning out to be a happy day after all!?

Papapapapparapa— I think it’s gonna be fun!

Ieieie— Even if you’re a dark character, you gotta be just a little worried, right?

Papapapapparapa— It may have some reasoning behind it,

But don’t search for any message in this song!

My head is HAPPY! Happy Happy

I’ll play without anyone watching, doesn’t matter to me

HAPPY! Happy Happy

It’s fine if I feel really depressed the next day

Party people, DQN, otakus, fujoshis, everyone is HAPPY!

-Happy pose farce-

(OK OK, everyone do a happy pose, lets all be happy. First WISH pose, one two, WISH!

Okay, metal kitsune okay? One two, KITSUNE!

Something cute! Double peace, one two, DOUBLE PEACE!

Put your pinky finger up, Amai Bouryoku pose! One two, AMAI BOURYOKU!

Ok ok you got it. Let's do it faster! One two, WISH!

Keep going! KITSUNE!

Yep yep, DOUBLE PEACE!

Come on, AMAI BOURYOKU!

Let's go! WISH KITSUNE DOUBLE PEACE AMAI BOURYOKU

WISH KITSUNE PEACE AMABOU)

My head is HAPPY! Happy Happy

Anything’s good with me, as long as I’m excited 

HAPPY! Happy Happy

No really, I’m buzzing right now!

HAPPY! Happy Happy

I’ll play without anyone watching, doesn’t matter to me

HAPPY! Happy Happy

It’s fine if I feel really depressed the next day

You, you guys, those guys, everyone, all of you are HAPPY!

[emoloveallthetime]

I finally have all the Panic! Cds and have listened to them far more than I should.. So P!atd album rating!

⚠️ I’m not a professional music reviewer, this is all my personal opinion and thoughts. if u see a typo, no u didn’t ⚠️

(Also i know nobody cares, but i have a different option than a lot of what i see, and I’m one of the crazy’s that likes to write stuff)

A fever you can’t sweat out- 9/10 🎩⏳🎞️📽️

General- I don’t think its a hot take to say Afycso is one of the best debut albums, the songs have a good cohesiveness that makes them identifiable as being off the first record, but still unique and interesting enough to not all sound the same. Really good lyrics and interesting concept for an album and following tour to focus on the burlesque aesthetic. Also i think the intro and interlude songs are fun, Its a 9/10 for a bit too overplayed for me sometimes, still very good.

Fave songs -

Cosmido

Biuld god then well talk

Pretty. Odd. 10/10🍄🌅🕯️🌻🌞

Very cutesy, very solid lyrics, nice aesthetic, makes me cry anytime I think about the lyrics too hard as I listen, not too overplayed. One of my top personal favorites. I think it’s one of the most under appreciated albums out of all the Panic! Albums, I didn’t even know it existed until i followed more Panic! related content and started collecting cds.

Fave songs-

She’s a handsome woman

Northern Downpoor

When the day met the night

The piano knows something I don’t

Folkin’ around

She had the world

From a mountain in the middle of the cabins

Mad as rabbits

Vices and virtues 10/10🌪️🗝️🪄🔑⚓️

Its not everyone’s favorite, but i think this album is absolutely wonderful. I’m a sucker for anything steampunk. I love the way different styles and sound effects are used across this album, especially in Hurricane. I don’t think i can ever get over reading the lyrics of The Calendar and realizing what it means, actually evil Brendon urie.

Fave songs-

Hurricane

Trade mistakes

Always

The calendar

Nearly witches (ever since we met…)

Too weird to live, too rare to die 8/10💿🚬📞

I firmly believe that the lack of bells from this album on is why I start to dislike it more and more. I will say, if you skip past the first 3 songs on the album it’s basically perfect, all the songs are listenable but to me after Vegas Lights is when it gets magical. The album is a big jump from the first 3 and I count it as the point were Panic moved away from more a more theatrical and cohesive atheistic and into just straight pop.

Fave songs:

Casual affair

Far too young to die

End of all things

Death of a bachelor 7/10🌌🪩🔊🛒👠

I have to give Death of a bachelor some slack, it’s popularity is well deserved and very clever lyrically with “Death of a Bachelor” being a synonym for getting married (took me way to long to realize that) along with the balance of sad songs to cry alone to- and party songs to play in the mall that Panic has essentially mastered across every album.

(It also gets a bonus points for being my gay awakening😓)

Fave songs-

Crazy=Genius

Golden days

The good the bad and the dirty

Pray for the wicked 6/10🍻📸💡💎🥃

This is the point of no return, too overplayed to fully enjoy some of the songs, lyrics feel weak at certain points, I feel like this album is the point where the distinct deterioration of lyrics start becoming noticeable, very overbearingly pop at points, but alcoholism has never sounded better.

Fave songs-

Dancing’s not a crime

The overpass

(Also the Diamonds and daggers demo that ended up becoming Roring 20’s idc I’m counting it)

Viva las vengeance 2/10 ☀️👁️🌛🎇

Feels like the whole album has the same sound on all songs, I was honestly kinda hopeful about VLV. I really wanted to be wrong about my suspicions the album was bad based off the cover art, but personally only about 2 or 3 songs are actually listenable. I think this was meant to be P!atd’s AB/AP but it just seems to fall apart from the weird lyrics in places, lack luster sound throughout the entire album. I do think “Dont let the light go out” is a very good and raw song and my favorite off the record, the album does seem very personal in a way that feels like accidentally walking into a couple having a break up, but the songs seem kinda out of place for being made in 2022. Its camp i guess idk.

Fave song- Don’t let the light go out

Fave to least fave rating

1 Pretty. Odd.

2 vices and virtues

3 Afycso

4 too weird to live to rare to die

5 death of the bachelor

6 pray for the wicked

7 Viva las vengeance

[formulawonu]

seventeen & drunk conversations

prompt: how svt would be in drunk conversations

a/n: hi i'm back and got kinda carried away... tag yourselves i'm a combination of woozi and lee chan 🤠

seungcheol: "i love you i love you i love you" "SAY IT BACK WTH" gets all pouty dkxhsjhb would also attempt to talk to you seriously about whatever is going on with your life <//3 big believer of a drunk persons words are a sober persons thoughts

jeonghan: "ha i knew u were a lightweight" "bet u can't take one more shot" DEADASS what an enabler u both would already be drunk and he'd still be challenging u to drink more. the competitiveness just jumps out i guess???? but it would be a fun night. 50% chance of tears if the mood is right

joshua: stopppppp he'd be holding ur hand or leaning his head on ur shoulder i know u all saw that tipsy dingo live. he'd probably also just be muttering stuff under his breath or singing along to whatever song is in the background he is my king of sitting pretty wherever and whenever he'd also be making sure ur ok

junhui: im sorry this man is in a whole other different dimension. u would THINK ur talking to him then realize mid sentence that he is just.....not there... he would probably think he's having a conversation with u but actually it was all just happening in his head and he was really just staring into the distance zoned out irl fml

hoshi: "yo yo yo listen to me im not drunk i actually love you" "IM BEING SERIOUS IM NOT DRUNK I LOVE UR PRESENCE IN MY LIFE?!?!?!?!?" everyone knows hes drunk. even he knows hes drunk. does it matter? no. he would also actually try to have a deep n heartfelt conversation with u:( pls value the mans drunk words they actually mean a lot and come from the heart :/

wonwoo: ok depending on the vibe he either gets even more quiet or hes literally just laughing at everything im gonna cry diusfkghjfj,cm (sorry that was my bias talking) like if it's a drinking situation where deep conversations are happening he's probably really internalizing everything going on and paying attention to whoever is speaking so he really remembers the moment but if its a fun drinking time he's 100% laughing at whoever tf is acting up and throwing sum jokes in here and there:/ HES TRYING HIS BEST OKAY

woozi: yeaaaaaaaa we got our resident sentimental drunk here 🤠 like he's kinda like wonwoo in the sense that he's really basking in the moment and noticing every detail about what's happening and who he's with but he's really just... a soft guy when he's drunk i think he'd be the type to take out his phone in the middle of the night to just write about how he feels/drunk thoughts in his notes just so he could think abt it when he's sober or potentially get inspiration from it :( brings up nice past memories n all... LEE JIHOON I LOVE YOU

minghao: he's just giggling the entire time and maybe just a lil more snarky... "sorry? did u say something? i couldn't hear u over the shot i poured out for u that u didn't take" would also initiate several group toasts and takes pics of u/whoever he's with to capture the moment. becomes more vocal abt his feelings in general actually. would 10/10 want to get drunk with minghao

mingyu: hes a flirty drunk stop it rn. opens all ur bottles/cans for u and hands it back to u with a wink, takes shots for u, has his arm draped across ur seat.... HES JUST NATURALLY LIKE THAT OK PHYSICAL TOUCH IS HIS LOVE LANGUAGE :/ its just even more pronounced when hes intoxicated. asks u ever so often if ur ok if u need water :/ "i'll take the shot for u just remember u owe me something" MOVE!!!!!!!!! but he's v receptive of u and that translates in how caring he is... ugh what a man

seokmin: byeeeee hes also so touchy. hes showering u with kisses and hugs. "i actually LOVE you though!!!!!! return my love!!!!" ur in for a long night if u put him and hoshi together. im being serious good luck. but he's suddenly down to do anything now - cook a feast? go night swimming? karaoke? he's ur guy. would not stop letting u know how much he appreciates and loves u:/ romantic or not:/ if hes sweet sober hes even more drunk:(

seungkwan: omfg he nags at u so much "ANOTHER SHOT?? REALLY???" "WHY ARE U ASSUMING I WANT TO TAKE ANOTHER SHOT" then takes the shot anyway lmao he'd be easier to fool into doing smth stupid to make everyone laugh bec he just wants good vibes n good memories :/ and he's even more doting on whoever he's with like he would 100% get u water and u could trust him with anything. my dream wingman for real he would know how ur feeling and how the night is going without any words needed. he is ESSENTIAL

vernon: he's the one finishing all of the snacks on the table while everyone is talking. he is pure vibes. nodding his head to whatever music is playing in the background and listening to the conversations going on. inputs here and there but hes happier going with whatever vibe is of the night. great person to have beside u imo if u wanna go crazy he'll jump with u if u wanna sit down and talk he'll do that too. might even share a cig with u if the mood calls for it. vernon is on my night out dream team as well

dino: THE LIFE OF THE PARTY!!!! like he doesn't even ask to be it -- he just naturally draws attention and everyone loves playing with him jiskfdhrkd "guys ive literally been the only one taking shots this isnt fair" "WHAT DO U MEAN I LOST THE GAME I HAVENT PLAYED" but he just goes with it because he wants a good time. however as the night progresses and the group gets smaller n smaller he starts becoming serious lee chan and tries to heart to heart with whoever is there. :/ he has a lot of valuable thoughts to let out so whoever is with him pls LISTEN!

[mirakeul]

making it hard to breathe

notes ; hey, lovelies!! this is one of my entries for @kirakirasaku's ame no ai / rainy love collab event! the event masterlist can be found here, go and check out the other works surrounding the theme for the collab <33 n e ways, i'm kinda inlove w this because my baby tanaka doesn't get much love <//3 let me know what you think!

words ; 1.71k

warnings ; crack HQSKJHDAKJD, kinda angst with a happy ending, some hurt/comfort, cursing, the word, 'kill', that's it, i think ???

summary ; it started with the rain, and ends with the rain. both significant in the lives of tanaka ryuunosuke and ennoshita y/n.

pairing/s ; tanaka ryuunosuke x gender neutral! reader (you're ennoshita's twin sibling !)

taglist in the reblogs ! join my general taglist here !

"because i love you!" you shouted.

"then stop loving me." tanaka said, his eyes full of misery and hurt.

"i can't!"

"well, that's the problem." he shook his head. "we don't work."

you whispered, "i know."

"we agree," he looked at you intently. "this has to end."

"it just did,"

the rain was pouring hard that day, seemingly knowing the tragic end between two ill-fated lovers…

well, not really.

"what the hell are you fuckers doing?" you both turned comically to ennoshita who was looking very pissed, narita and kinoshita snickering behind him. nishinoya seemed to have vanished after playing the song, "chasing cars" during your "scene" with tanaka.

"uh, acting?"

"may i remind you," he turned to tanaka who was chuckling as he scratched the back of his neck. "that you have practice in ten minutes."

"and you," ennoshita turned to you, staring you down. "why the hell do you encourage him?"

"but, it's fun!" you answered, shivering a bit from the rain. ennoshita, being the older brother that he is, put his jacket on you, "rudely" (he couldn't) handing you a towel. "we were just recording something and then, ryuu mentioned the vampire diaries and so, there's that."

ennoshita shook his head, and said, "you know what, i don't even care, just get dressed and come to practice."

the two of you saluted, quickly changing. being the sibling of one of karasuno's volleyball club members definitely has its perks, and maybe, it's also because you grew up with one of the regulars, tanaka ryuunosuke.

you and tanaka knew each other from childhood, unbeknownst to your twin sibling (who insists he's older, but it was just three minutes) at the time. you lost contact in middle school when your family moved but rekindled when you moved back. it was a surprise really, more for ennoshita, when he sees you hugging tanaka during your first years despite seeing each other again for the first time.

and a huge part of your life was with ryuu, as you call him, and the rain. walking to the gym, you recounted some of your best memories with him. that day you both jumped on puddles, and the one when you slipped in the mud and he laughed at you so you pulled him with you, and the one time you cried on him when the thunder got too loud one time you were with him.

looking back, you never really understood how important tanaka was for you. but now…? you looked at him as he told you an outrageous story about him and noya. you smiled, laughing with him when you realized…oh fuck, do i like him?

you were silent all throughout practice as you watched them. you weren't really a member but you spent enough time in the gym that they didn't really mind you going. but, today, your eyes would constantly watch tanaka, cheeks warming whenever he looks at you and grins. well...you're definitely fucked.

you snapped back to reality after daichi called for a break, tanaka immediately went to you as his water bottle was conveniently placed beside you. he was panting but he smiled at you before drinking.

your eyes traveled to the sweat that disappeared behind his jersey which he, fortunately, didn't notice. but unfortunately for you, your twin did. he cursed under his breath as he pulled you aside quickly.

"y/n, what was that?"

"what?"

"you were literally drooling over tanaka!" he quietly screamed.

"i wasn't!" you said, a bit louder, making some of them look at the two of you but you dismissed them quickly. "chikara, you cannot tell anyone about this!"

"wait, so you do like him?"

"no!" you said, eyes closing in frustration then you looked at ennoshita. "i don't know, maybe? i literally don't know, help me."

"if you're asking me for help, that means you really do have feelings for him," he said.

"you're not helping! he's literally in love with kiyoko!"

he looked at you, expression in deadpan. "no. if you don't see it, you don't have hope."

"what?" he looked at you pointedly when he saw tanaka walking towards you. "wait, chikara, what the fuck?"

"y/n? you okay?"

"ryuu!" you turned to him, smiling awkwardly. "yes, i-uh, chikara was just telling me something."

"oh, okay!" he grinned at you, and sheepishly scratched his neck. "uh, listen, i won't be able to walk with you later because i have to do something important."

"it's okay! thanks for letting me know! now, back to practice, we all know daichi when he's mad."

you both shuddered with him jogging back to the others and you sitting beside yachi. after the day had ended, the rain was still pouring hard and one by one, the students slowly trickled out, some sharing their umbrellas and some making a run for it at the bus stop.

you, unfortunately, lent your umbrella to a classmate earlier and by the time you finished going over practice notes with coach ukai, the rain was so thick that you couldn't really see much through it. you tried calling ennoshita but the signal was partly jammed from the rain and from what you could remember, he was on his way to study with kinoshita and narita.

you were shivering and alone with no cell service, what could possibly make it worse?

you suddenly see tanaka from a distance. "wait, is he still here? but, he said..?"

you were about to call him when kiyoko approached him, a small smile on both their faces. this…this was the thing he's doing that's so important…confessing to kiyoko. you sat and held your legs close, you just wished someone would notice you.

----------------------------------

tanaka was beaming. sure, he got rained on, but he finally understood. kiyoko was kind enough to help him realize his very confusing feelings towards a certain someone. by the time he got home, the rain was still pouring and so, he immediately called you, hoping you were safely home.

it rang and it rang but you never answered. tanaka eventually went and called ennoshita. "hello? what is it now?"

"is y/n with you? they aren't answering their phone." tanaka was a little worried now, why weren't you answering?

"what? wait, i'll call you back."

tanaka was pacing back and forth, texting some from the team, asking if they had seen you. unfortunately, no one hasn't heard from you. and with the rain jamming the signal, they don't know when they would be able to. tanaka's phone began ringing so he immediately answered. "hey?"

"hey," it's ennoshita. "i called our mom, she hasn't seen y/n either."

"shit," tanaka cursed under his breath. "okay, i'll try and go find her."

"in this rain?" ennoshita, despite being annoyed, was still tanaka's friend and your twin, of course, he'd be worried.

"yes, always." the usual comedic hint in tanaka's voice was gone. "i'll call you."

"okay, i'll try and find them too. please be safe."

"yeah, thanks."

tanaka ended the call, got one of his jackets and an umbrella, and yelled at his sister that he's going out. before saeko could stop him, tanaka had already run. he doesn't know where he was going, all he does know is that he needed to find you.

the rain was still pouring and though tanaka may be shivering, he didn't stop. with his last hope, he ran to karasuno. he stopped in his tracks for a moment when he saw your figure huddled in front of the steps. "y/n!"

you looked up, tears in your eyes. "r..ryuu?"

he quickly ran to you, discarding the umbrella near you as he pulled you in an embrace. you hugged him closer, still shivering from the rain. he nearly sighed in relief but decided to check you over first. "are you okay? why were you just here?"

"i couldn't call anyone," your teeth were clicking too much from the cold as you spoke. "the rain made it hard."

"you should have called me," tanaka's tone was worrying.

"i couldn't. you," you sniffed, looking anywhere but him. "you were with kiyoko, i couldn't both–"

"what?"

"i saw you," you wiped the tears in your eyes. "with her, i mean. i was about to call you but you seemed so ha–."

his hands cupped your face, pulling you a tad closer as he said, "do you want to know why i was with kiyoko earlier?"

"i–yes?"

"i was asking her about my feelings for you."

"what?"

"yeah," he smiled sheepishly. "you're kinda making it hard to breathe every time you smile, you know?"

you laughed, not wanting to believe him as he continued. "and like, we've known each other for so long, and i didn't understand what it meant. kiyoko noticed though. so she talked to me about it and earlier, she was telling me how i should tell you."

"really?"

"would i ever lie to you?"

"yes." you pointedly looked at him.

"that was one time!" you both laughed.

"but, yeah. i didn't plan to confess this way. you know me, i'm all about being extra. i would have wanted to go big, especially if it would annoy your twin brother."

"wait, chikara. i need to text him."

"don't worry, i already did. he did remind me to take you home in one piece. but he didn't warn me about anything else, so i guess we're good?"

you chuckled, "no, you need to tell chikara."

"your mom already loves me, what's he gonna do?"

laughing, you were both reminded of your close proximity. your cheeks warmed significantly, as with his. "so," he wiggled his eyebrows

"so?" you grinned.

"i'm kinda falling in love with you, ennoshita y/n."

"yeah, me too."

"way to ruin the moment, y/n."

"fuck you, i am the moment." you laughed, but pulled him closer to his surprise. "i am kinda falling in love with you too, tanaka ryuunosuke."

and as the rain poured, you closed the distance, kissing him. tanaka, who didn't think he would get this far after confessing to the one he likes, stood dumbly. you backed away, "last chance, ryuu."

he quickly pulled you again, lips melting with yours as he kissed you. yep, your twin brother's gonna kill him.

© mirakeul ; do not modify or reupload anywhere else but reblogs are greatly appreciated!

[dooodle-bug]

So! after all this time! i got my act together and finally got a good ref n stuff for my ghostsona! I now present to you: Harry! (basic info/extra art under cut)

-Harry, (otherwise known as the Schoolboy Ghost) he/him pronouns (genderfluid)

-chinese 14 y/o kiddo <3

-extremely shy and anxious, especially around others. however he enjoys reading books and doodling, its calming and he likes being alone in peace and quiet. Also a huge ass nerd. Despite being generally sweet and kind natured, he can be quite snarky if something is truly pissing him off or if he just wants to be alone

-Voice sounds very young-teenager-like. Kinda like steward in a way? but more immature and unsure kinda sounding-

-That gold star on his uniform is supposed to be a reference to the gold stars teachers give out to good students, as well as bc i didnt feel like making a fucking school crest or whatever-

-Was a private school student in a very prestigous sorta school. He was extremely successful n smart n all, however at one point the pressure and stress to maintain this streak got too much and he commit suicide by jumping off a building.

-Name is a reference to the fact that he is very Hairy, having a fucking mass of course, wild hair. He utilizes it by using it as storage space (ex, the elevator button)

-haunts floor xx, The Library, consisting of a spooky library, mazes of organized bookshelves, rows of old ass computers and desks and workstations, a lil lounge area, a lil storytime kids section, beanbags, front desk, etc.

-As Luigi navigates through the rows of shelves, acting as a giant maze with some Secret entrances n stuff, he eventually comes across the lil kids section, a corner with space for storytime, complete with shelves of childrens books and toys. Sitting in the middle of this area, is Harry, who appears to be happily drawing in a book, taking and putting away pencils from his hair

-When Luigi sees this, he is obviously scared, however determined to get that elevator button he noticed in his hair. When Harry notices him, he runs off, scared shitless

-the battle works where luigi needs to track the ghost down with the darklight, revealing he is possessing a bookshelf, which springs to life and proceeds to attack him, spitting books, paper airplanes, trash, etc. and also tryna body slam him. Luigi attacks by, when given the right moment to whip behind him, to plunger the back of the shelf and slam that mf

-when the bookcase is destroyed, he tumbles out, stunned and sucked by luigi, before managing to run off again and fade away, the process repeating again in a different area

-Once his hp is about 50ish, instead of running away from the broken shelf, he will retreat into a book, now bouncing around aggressively and quickly like an angry dog, leaping up and biting as well as spitting papers at him

-luigi defeats him by tiring him out and trying to flip him onto his side using that elevating vacuum move thing idk what its called, then he can plunger him and slam until the book is destroyed, then sucking him up once and for all for the elevator button

-In the lab, he is calmly sitting, drawing in a book

-Harry's extremely upset about his death, and makes up for it in the afterlife by spending his time studying/reading books (of free will), drawing, playing with toys, etc

-hes allowed to stay bc he manages the library, cleaning n organizing the place for others n all bc he finds it fun. also he helps with the hotel's finances and other problems from time to time too

annnnnnd thats all i got for now! thank u for reading and i hope you like him as much as i do hehe :o>

[therealv1ultrakill]

Adding more because the tumblr text limit hates me. Also, the last thing was 3636 characters apparently! I 100% understand and validate not wanting people to ship characters, but the fact that this creator has openly mocked people, AGAIN ON MAIN, FULLY ON VIEW, IN THE GENERAL CHATS, for shipping people with at least one specific character, making fun of ships as a whole, and also the creator straight up posted a screenshot of someone's Doors fanart because it was a humanoid variation and they/he/etc. (I apologize universally I can't check discord right now, but I hope one of those was right /gen) blatantly were like "ohhh man I can't wait for people to make shitty humanoid fanart of my characters/ruin my monster characters like this." Again. I wanna emphasize this guy wholeass took a screenshot of someone's art, who probably isn't even aware that it has been sent in this server, visible to a plethora of people, easily searchable and semi-implying its shit. Someone responded negatively and made fun of the art itself which I don't condone or agree with, don't misunderstand me here, but it's kind of fucking clear why they'd come to that conclusion? Like you have a bunch of rabid fans who will do anything for an ounce of approval since you're the creator, right there, making fun of something, so obviously someone might jump and make a shit comment, especially if you were being vague enough that it could look like you WERE shitting on the art. What pisses me off more is the creator immediately spun around and went "dude wtf" (not this part but in tandem w the next, moderation here was good) and was like "I'm not making fun of the art itself, just the concept of humanoid art, plus it's obvious the artist is young." … Bro? Like yeah from what little I recall seeing (though I took a ss) it is likely the artist is young, especially since they're in the Doors fandom, but on the off-chance they're NOT. That makes it even more demeaning because you're basically saying the art could only be "good"/acceptable if it was made by a kid. I don't even know if I have enough space to get into why shitting on people's concepts especially in a fandom that actively makes you so much fanart is pretty ass. Sure, want what you want, limit what you decide to limit, quite literally you own it, but damn! Kind of sucks.

Okay I've definitely spoken too much / added these middle paragraphs which ruins any potential brevity I had before - but I also just remembered in regard to the shipping stuff (which again lowkey valid at times) that dude straight up mentioned that someone / some "girl" or smthn made a character x insert fanart already, again, mockingly, and they/he/??? said "I'm not gonna say her name, but it's posted here lol" ?? DAWG??? What the fuck is your problem, holy shit! I would not be shocked if this fandom turned into a bandwagon adjacent one. Sure, it won't be a shipping war, but it'll still be a fandom war/people willing to attack others over fandom related stuff. I don't care if it sounds childish, and I don't think it's so much of me to wonder why people can't just be nicer. Idgaf if it's "the internet", people have lost any sense of basic decency and respect. And no, I'm not gonna come out here and drop names, drop the game, start "canceling" or wtvr, truly I think that kind of shit is stupid and the exact thing I go against. I just find it kinda frustrating but also worrisome cause these seem like some of the warning signs/red flags I've witnessed and unfortunately participated in (I will never say I'm above these things or that I've never done 'em, it's part of why I do my best to try and avoid it now), and it just makes me worry that this will lead to future problems and/or severe internal animosity. God knows how many fandoms have eaten themselves from inside out. Not trying to bring about a curse on this thing or wtvr or try to be like oooo I know what will happen ooo I'm so much better than the rest but like. I think atp y'all know my intentions/understand my stance. And if I'm misremembering anything, though I don't think I am because 1. It was relatively recent I saw these messages and 2. Screenshotted, but obv that doesn't mean I'm golden on memory (esp cause... yk LMFAO). But I am always willing to try and listen and if I must, I shall eat my words. Improvement is something I try to take in as much as possible.

Besides ULTRAKILL will always be my interest of joy. Sure, there are other ones that can rival my clinical insanity for this game, but I really do think I'm definitely one of the very silliest people about this thing. And I do not say that to make myself sound sooo better and sooo cool. I'm not! That and also I absolutely am pig excrement compared to those speedrunners (holay molay.. praying I reach that level of excellency or at least somewhere close).

Besides, at the end of the day if no one else has my back (though I know my sibling always will, love you pookie <3 /goofy) I know I do. It's the literal reason I have become a fragmented consciousness. How horrible it was to deal with those things and traumas on my own that my mind had to go inwards so the outwards could not reach who I am today. And that does hurt, it does, but I will always love those parts of me and I will always try to be kind, because even if they act out or put me in painful situations, I know they're trying their best just as much as I am.

Anywho, perhaps we'll start signing off on these. But with no shade to V1, or the rest of the system, we really suck at consistency. It's why our journals have stuttering date variations in them.

lmaoo okay love yall baiii - V1, Kondraki, and some other losers probs. We're blurry 24/7, trying to be exact is kind of impossible + dissociation been bad, but therapy does help! /lh silly

Honestly I will not make this a habit, but this place is in some sense my personal diary now so !

I am a bit upset? I do not shame or gatekeep others for having similar interests or being insanely passionate (i.e "number one fan of xyz"), but seeing someone in a server I am in was a bit of a jumpscare! But also in some sense good, I think. Wake-up call of sorts, and I don't say that just to cope or remove the feelings from it.

I really like this myth/lore/horror (whatever you'd like to call it, haha) game. And it wasn't unpopular before per se, but especially over the past month/since its full release, it has been EXTREMELY popular. We're talking double-digit thousands (10k, 20k, you get the point). And I saw someone who.. I don't really find myself using the word "lore" for people anymore, it feels kind of icky. At least, for more mundane or truly not like. TRAUMATIC traumatic situations. Do some of these things scar my mind? Yes. Most things in life do, in technicality, butterfly effect, unpredictable outcomes, whatever. I had to let this callus my mind. I still feel weak, worthless, pathetic, cruel, etc. But I know I am not those things, and again, in some very weird way the initial thing before the server-seeing event really helped me begin my progress on my backbone, and actually feel like I can truly believe in myself.

Anywho, I struggle to stay on track, it's a very apparent thing with me that my mind has multiple railroad systems (hah! no pun intended though) going on at the same time. It scared me! I got a little nervous. I got anxious. And all the built-up positive energy (which was already a bit of an iffy thing) came down. Even now, I woke up feeling a bit of sorrow. But I do not hate myself, still. It does hurt, but I am finally at a point where I am doing my best to allow myself to feel these things and process this hurt while also not using my wishes (be it well or not), energy, mental rooming, etc. on these people involved, or anyone as a whole in my past who likely does not enjoy my continuing existence. I felt jealous, almost, for a second. But I do not think it was because of any posted art, but I think just as a whole. The concept of sharing something I love so deeply and devote a lot of time to. The thing that I want to be one of the number one fans of. I am still trying to accept though that there will always be a person better, more devoted, more obsessive, etc. at something than I likely will. Sure, I can become one of those. But I do not think it ought to be for this, especially since it has negatively impacted me a bit at times / controlled my emotions some (prior to this incident. They do not control me that much, my friends!).

Also, tbf… the creator + the currently morphing fandom are like. Really fucking foul at times. Like yeah dude can ban whoever he/they/? want but it's pretty damn wild that if you post chit-chat in the channel (granted they said not to) you get immediately banned. And see, that alone I wouldn't give really a rats backend about - it's the fact that the fandom and creator revel in it and so many people continued dog-piling and mocking people, I swear I've never seen the words "lacking media literacy/lack reading comprehension" be run into the ground so fast it looked like 65% of the channel was pure spam. Like… damn? I know the internet sucks (and someday I ought to go on a tangent about why the phrase/saying "it's just the internet, get used to it/get over it/why don't you expect it?" is stupid, harmful, and excusing bad behavior and denouncing any form of accountable and perpetuating people to get away, but I digress..)

[brick-a-doodle-do]

Lol I was asking for first meeting in g/t scenarios for either my characters or just in general

And Irza actually isn't going to hit Vara...kinda

If you count flicking as a hit yes, but don't miss the note I have him holding, he's gonna take off to rob somewhere and that note says exactly where...as he just salutes Vara and jumps off the building. Poor cat boy. Vara was also soooo fun to draw he just looks so squishy as a chibi

ohhh right, okay have this!!: it's the peak of winter and the borrower, being in the walls and kind of new at this, is freezing. almost to the point where it's literal. desperate times call for desperate measures, so they take the risk of spending the night in the humans bed. with the human. they thought it'd be easy, considering all they need to do is find a safe place away from eyesight and just spend the night until they come up with something. this could go one of two ways. a. on their way to the humans bed in the middle of the night, they pause and realize the human is awake. but they pause out in the open, and the human sees them when there's nowhere to run to, or b. it's successful for a bit until the human rolls onto their back or stomach (stomach is preferable cause....noises) and trap them. long story short, tiny is trapped until human wakes up and eventually sees them

OKAY THERE SORRY ITS KINDA LONG ASNDGD

AHHH I WAS JUST ABOUT TO ASK U ABT THAT NOTE!! LITERALLY UNFINISHED POST OPEN IN ANOTHER TAB LMAO

yes squishy hero boy >:DDD

so like...does irza JUST want to fight vara? like does he eat sleep and breath fighting vara?

[missskzbiased]

Watermelon Sugar

Genre: Fluff, Romance, Oneshot, Drabble, Summer crush! au

Pairing: Hwang Hyunjin x Fem! Reader

Word Count: ~2,9K

Notes: The last fanfic for the Valentine’s request [That you can find here]

If you never saw a schooner, please look for “escuna” in google images, so you can picture it! <3

Warnings: Make out?

Chan ||  Minho || Changbin || Hyunjin || Han || Felix || Seungmin || Jeongin

Masterlist

Requested: No, that was the beginning of the request idea xD 

General Tag List: @channiewoo @aliceu @bythesunnotbythemoon

[If you wish to be tagged to the other Valentine’s requests, please send me an ask <3]

                                                 ////

   You gasped, marveled by the bay right in front of your eyes.

    You were sure your eyes were shining like twinkling little stars or something, and as much as you really wanted to look like the cool and elegant tourist, you couldn’t help but let your mouth fall agape and look around. The sun cast its light above the sea, allowing pretty sparks on the teal waters to get your attention from time to time, distracting you from the beautiful forest that surrounded you. The view was breathtaking and the way that the forest-green mountains stood up there like a giant barrier ─ kind enough to let an entrance for adventurers such as you ─ made your heart swell inside your chest.

    “Want me to take a picture for you, Sweetheart?” Not even the cool breeze that came straight from the sea was enough to cool down your face at the moment. You pursed your lips, coyly rubbing your arm as you glanced at his bright smile. He looked at you with lovely gentle eyes, waiting for a reaction as he extended his hand in your direction (not to hold yours but to ask for your phone), and the lack of response made him tilt his head in confusion “Y/N?” He called carefully.

    “Oh! Yeah! Yeah, I mean- Why not?” You snapped away from your thoughts “It’s such a beautiful view” You added, more composed now, handing him your phone. You didn’t miss the small smile on his lips as he nodded in agreement with you, positioning the phone to take a picture as he muttered something under his breath, a blush spreading on his face “What did you just say?” You frowned, bothered by the pose you choose.

    “I said you look perfect” He repeated mindlessly “No! I mean-“ He widened his eyes, snapping them at you as he realized what he had just said “You look good in the picture! Not that you don’t look good in real life… I mean-“ He floundered, making you burst into a fit of giggles “Here is your phone…” He sighed embarrassed, fingers brushing on yours as he handed it to you. That was the most romantic thing that happened to you on Valentine’s Day in your whole life. And he wasn’t even your boyfriend!

    The truth was that you barely knew him at all.

    The attractive stranger was called Hyunjin ─ a simple and pretty name, just like him ─ and apart from being a good photographer, as you could see by the pictures he took from you, he was also part of the crew. Of course, you knew that the kindness and cuteness that he had been showing you was nothing but strictly professional behavior to allure the tourists, and (obviously) you couldn’t help but swallow it hook, line, and sinker. In your defense, he probably worked like this for years and had mastered the perfect gentlemanliness that he was using against you!

    When you decided to take your single Valentine’s trip and get rid of all those insane expectations people had on you for being single for too long ─ really, what was the deal with them?! Didn’t they have anything better to worry about?! ─, you didn’t imagine that you would come across someone like him. You wouldn’t even believe you would have the courage to get your feet on a boat like this! But you promised yourself that as a self-discovery trip, you had to be bold and jump right into any new opportunities.

    You meant more like a one night stand or something like this.

    But navigating through a deep ocean with a cute guy sounded good too!

    The moment you spot him on your way to the beach ─ perfect smile, tanned skin, and wet hair sticking to his forehead and cheeks ─, you knew you were screwed. You tried to reason that you weren’t really a good swimmer and hoping in a boat like this wasn’t the best of the ideas even if he had offered you a really good price. Of course, he knew exactly what to say and promised you to be right by your side at all moments… What a flirty little bastard you found as a summer crush.

   “I’ll even fight the waters for you!” He had joked as you signed the paper “I’ll be right there to catch you if you fall, though I can assure you it’s very safe! The only thing that you might fall for is me” You laughed along with him, but he was indeed right.

    Was there a way to not fall for Hwang Hyunjin?

    The very first thing he did was to stick to his promises as you stared at the wobbly boat warily ─ clearly rethinking all of your life choices ─, wondering how the hell you would get inside it if the bloody thing kept swinging like that. Were you supposed to simply jump inside it? What if you just fell to the sea?! That would be the silliest way to die on a trip… Utterly humiliating. How would your family and friends take the news?

   DUMB GIRL DROPS DEAD WHILE TRYING TO GET ON A BOAT!

   You could even see the disappointment on everyone’s face.

    “Here, gimme your hand!” His voice had brought you back from your daydreaming.

    The crew was holding the ropes firmly to bring the schooner as closely as possible to the deck, making sure it was safe to get into the boat. Of course, Hyunjin had to drop it and hop inside the schooner as if it was nothing, wiping away his sweat with his forearm and extending his hand to you with a bright smile that made you flustered. You accepted his offer, yelping at his firm grip and the way he could make almost everything seem steady as you connected your eyes to his, stepping inside the rocking ship successfully.

    You averted your eyes from him ─ the shyness overcoming your willingness to keep looking at his orbs ─, and the magic suddenly ran off as the boat shook in a different rhythm (or maybe it was all the same and you were just being clumsy), prompting you to pathetically stumble over nothing. If it was a movie, that would be the moment you would crash onto his chest and be wrapped into strong arms as you looked into each other’s eyes and exchanged a flustered smile under his friends’ teasing… Of course, you weren’t in a movie, so you just had the humiliating experience of pretending it didn’t happen as you walked straight away from them.

    Being the prince charming wasn’t enough for Hyunjin.

    He was also a fierce environmental defender just like you.

    Your heart would melt for him, just like those damn glaciers.

    It happened almost one hour ago but you could still remember vividly how mad you felt as a random guy tossed an empty chip bag to the sea, completely ignoring the crew on how important the area was for the local fauna. The damn guy literally tossed a plastic bag to some animal choke to death for no reason. You would have said something or done something but before you could even react, Hyunjin jumped out of the boat, diving into the sea and swimming like a torpedo.

    The thrash must stay in the thrash! He sneered, shoving the bag into the man’s hands with a scowl as soon as he got back. It was needless o say that it surprised you, yet you felt the admiration growing in your chest. As we were saying… This is not only our home but also of those animals and we’re responsible to keep everything clean and safe for them and for us… We thank you for your collaboration.

    Could someone be more perfect?

    “We have some fruits for you to eat” Hyunjin said, snapping you away from your thoughts “Do you like watermelon?” He asked, offering a triangular piece for you to take. You gave him a small smile, nodding as you took it from his hands.

    “Oh! It’s really sweet!” You arched your brows in surprise “This is really good!” You hummed, eyes sparkling as you took another bite.

    “I may have chosen the sweeter one for my favorite traveler” He chuckled, sitting by your side as he ate his own piece “We’re almost arriving at the last stop… I highly recommend you to get into the water this time” He advised, glancing at you “I can help you out if you need to” He offered.

    “Unless you carry me in your back, there is no way I’ll survive inside the sea with no ground under my feet” You laughed “The other places I could go to the beach… What will I do in the middle of this bay?” You asked playfully.

    “It will be fun! This is the best spot to go! You could go to any other beach” He reasoned “Also, I can wait for you down there to support you in the water! There is no problem” He smiled at you.

    Why be so damn cute?

    “If you let me die, my family will sue you!” He laughed wholeheartedly at that, nodding.

    “Your family can rest peacefully today, you’ll be safe in my arms!” He chuckled, getting up “I have to help the guys out and prepare things for you guys to get in the water… As soon as I can go in, I’ll call you, okay?” You nodded, fighting back a smile as he walked away.

     He did just as promised.

    As soon as everything was settled down, Hyunjin took your hand in his, guiding you to the ladders. He jumped into the water ─ kinda showing off a little bit ─ waving at you from the water with a huge smile on his face. You took a deep breath, slowly going down the ladder. The closer you got to the deep water, the more you wondered what you were doing with your life.

    “That’s okay, I’m right here to catch you” He reassured you, sensing your hesitation. You peeked at him over your shoulder, seeing how he had his arms extended to hold you as soon as you got into the water.

    “We’ll die” You cried though you kept going down.

    “We’ll be just fine” He chuckled “Trust me, okay?”

    As soon as you got into the water, still attached to the ladder as if it could save your whole life, his arms wrapped you up. You yelped as he tugged you off of your safe place, bringing you some feet away from the boat.

   “For everything sacred in this world, please let me go back” You hissed, back pressed against his chest and eyes focused on the schooner, wondering why you tried to get into the water in the first place.

   “Hey, calm down” He soothed you, squeezing you in a hug and resting his chin on your shoulder “Breathe in” He instructed you, and you complied “Breathe out” He continued, and you did it again.

   “Yeah… Yeah, I think that worked” You sighed, a little bit more relieved, “Maybe I could even be alo—“ You interrupted yourself to scream, turning around desperately to wrap his waist with your legs, squirming as you hold him for dear life “Something touched me!” You yelled, trying to check the water to see what had just bickered you.

   He didn’t answer you at first.

   You glanced at him, noticing the compromising position you put both of us in. He looked down to avoid your chest on his eye level, ears burning in embarrassment as he held you by your sides delicately, unsure of how he should act. You felt your face burning when you noticed how your hands tugged on his hair, body pressed impossibly closer to him.

    “Oh my God, I’m so sorry” You mumbled, loosening your hold.

    “It must have been some fish” He muttered, still refusing to look at you.

    “Yeah…” You nodded “You guys said that there are tons of fishes here, right?” You asked awkwardly, and he nodded to confirm it “Cool…” You cleared your throat.

    He lifted his head, looking into your eyes as he adjusted his hold to your body, eyes wavering as he tried to focus his gaze on you. The moment was a little bit too intimate. You noticed how your legs were still around his waist, bodies pressed against each other, and breaths mingling, warming up your face. You let your eyes wander to his lips before returning your gaze to meet his.

    The moment made your stomach flutter.

    “Am I… Am I imagining things or…” He cleared his throat “I’m sorry but are you… Can I…” He floundered with his words, too flustered to say whatever he wanted to say.

    “Kiss me?” You questioned, and he snapped his eyes to yours again.

    “I mean… I shouldn’t have suggested it at all!” He said startled “I’m so sorry, this is so unprofessional! I didn’t mean to—“ You snorted, cupping his cheeks to make him stop talking.

    “I want to” You reassured him, staring at his lips “Can I?” You asked unsurely, checking for any signs of hesitancy in his eyes.

    “Please” He chuckled, sliding one hand to cup your face as the other one kept supporting your waist.

    He didn’t need to tell you twice.

    You slammed your lips against his, hands sliding to entangle his neck and play with his hair as you kissed each other. He hummed, hand going to the back of your head to keep you as close as possible to him. The kiss tasted like watermelon ─ sweet and kinda wet and sloppy ─, and you almost couldn’t remember you were in the middle of the sea, on Valentine’s day, kissing a complete stranger.

    A charming and sweet stranger, to be fair.

   He rested his forehead on yours as soon as the kiss came to an end, breathing heavily and closing his eyes to enjoy the moment for a while. You smirked; twirling his locks on your finger and making him shiver for a second. He opened his eyes, staring at you in complete bliss.

   “Wow” He muttered.

   “I agree” you chuckled, kissing his cheek before trailing the path to his jaw “Maybe we should repeat it sometime” You suggested, feeling how he tensed as you whispered against his skin.

  “You mean like now?” He giggled “Because I’m more than up to it”

  “I meant more like a date after the ride ends?” You said unsurely, shyly checking for his reaction.

   “I’m more than up to it as well” He smiled, brushing his nose on yours “Not that we need to do only one of those things…” He said suggestively making you chuckle “I kinda want to take advantage of how sweet your lips taste right now… If you’re up to it” He cleared his throat.

   “I’m more than up to it” You grinned, pecking his lips.

[rogue-durin-16]

FIREWORKS AND STREAMERS

Request: I have been insecure about my curly hair lately and was wondering if you can you write something with one of the weasley twins where the reader is insecure about her curly hair and one of the twins makes her feel better.

Pairing: Fred Weasley x Hufflepuff!Reader

Genre: fluff

Tags:

Requested by: @wildcat1434

Fred Weasley: @whiskeyn-rain @lumos-solemn

Permanent taglist: @elia-the-bibliophile @randomparanoid @karlthecat15722 @thebutchersdaughtersblog

Warnings: none

A/N: So like, incoming fluff bc this idea was cute and sometimes I do be needing fluff, that's about it, enjoy <3

Rogue-durin-16 masterlist

The relationship between me and my hair had always been... Bumpy, you could say.

There were periods in which I would find it quite lovely; during those times I would let my curls free, showing them off with a proud demeanor, knowing my hair was unique. Those times began to turn less and less usual since the middle of third year, though they were still there.

However, after the summer prior to my sixth year, those moments had banished; I only wished to hide my hair, and my friends ended up noticing. They told me surely there would be a spell or potion able to change my hair.

As if they had summoned it, the next day in Transfiguration, Professor McGonagall introduced us to what seemed like my salvation; Crinus Muto, an advanced spell that modified the caster's hair with no restrictions.

My best friend advised me against using it, claiming it wouldn't help my insecurity— if only, it would worsen it.

I really wanted to do as she had told me and completely dismiss the spell's existence, but two nights after I had a big mental breakdown about it, caused by the most stupid thing ever.

"Is Weasley staring at you or am I blind?" One of my friends whispered, her eyes trained on the Gryffindor table.

I didn't even bother to look up, not wanting to know whether it was true or not, before responding with a quiet "You're blind."

"I mean, it's hard to tell with two rows of students between us but," She nudged me, urging me to avert my gaze from my dinner and redirect it to Fred. "it kinda looks like he's... staring."

Curiosity killed the cat, I guess. My eyes finally left my plate and were, in fact, met with Fred's brown ones. As soon as they met, though, he looked away, pretending to be focused on his food, just like I had been doing seconds ago.

"Of course he's staring." Hannah Abbot, who sat right in front of my friend, commented with her mouth full. "Have you seen your hair?" She swallowed her food, looking me up and down before adding, "No offense, but it's an absolute mess." My eyes opened widely in shock at her bluntness. "You should take care of it, really."

"Has someone ever told you you're an ill-mannered bitch, Hannah?" I heard my friend talking back at the younger girl while I got up and started to make my way out of the Great Hall.

Of course, I didn't see Fred shooting up and attempting to go after me; ultimately he decided to stay in his place, since he saw my friend walking out too.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

I was very aware of all the pair of eyes that had been laid on me the very moment I entered the greenhouse where we would be doing the Herbology tasks.

When I had met my friends at the Hufflepuff common room that morning, I had received divided opinions about my straight hair. At first I had been very convinced that it looked way better than my curly hair, but seeing my friends' reaction, I wasn't that confident about it anymore.

I didn't have time to undo the spell before class, so I decided to go along with it and see how the day unfolded.

I took a deep breath, my eyes trained on the ground as I made my way to an empty seat; maybe there weren't that many people staring, maybe it was just my anxiety.

I finally gathered the courage and looked up, nervously scanning the glasshouse so I could shake off my fears.

There was only a couple of my peers staring, which would have put me at ease, if one of them wasn't Fred Weasley.

On top of it, of course, he wasn't even trying to be subtle, it was almost as if he wanted me to notice his judging eyes; I could feel his gaze on me for the entire class.

The instant Professor Sprout dismissed us, I shoved everything in my bag and left the greenhouse, thanking a couple of Gryffindors who complimented my hair on my way out.

Again, I didn't notice Fred leaving the class as soon as he could to run after me.

I threw my bag against a tree near the lake shore and, as I fell against it, I heard someone jogging in my direction.

"In a hurry to sit by the lake, Y/l/n?" I followed the tall ginger with my eyes while he circled me and sat down by me. "You alright?"

"I just needed a break from... People." I vaguely explained, focusing on the water instead of on the boy besides me.

"Understandable." He hesitated for a second before adding, "Do you want me to leave?"

"No, it's fine." I surprised myself at how calmed and collected I sounded, as if I wasn't chatting with my crush.

"What happened to your hair?" His genuinely curious inquiry took me aback, and I struggled to find something to answer.

"Why?" My heartbeat picked up, anxiety inundating me once more. "You don't like it?"

"It looks weird." Fred looked at me up and down with a grimace. "You don't... Look like yourself." I was about to enter fight or flight mode, but he seemed to notice, and panic made its way to his face. "But it doesn't matter what I think," he was quick to add, his eyes wide open as if he knew he had said something he should have not. "I mean— I think it shouldn't matter, if you like it, that's great— I mean, you don't need my opinion about that either!"

"Calm down, I understand." I tried to reassure him, before his rambling drove the both of us crazy. "Can I tell you a secret?" He nodded with pursed lips, surely afraid he would fuck up if he spoke again. "I've been very insecure about my hair lately— like, very." I sighed. "My best friend told me not to straighten it, but last night I got a not so nice comment and—"

"So that's why you left?" I nodded, tugging my sleeves. Fred went silent for a moment, and then cleared his throat and scooted closer to me. "I know this won't do much, but I really love your hair. Kinda reminds me of fireworks and streamers." He gestured around his own head, mimicking the fireworks' movement. "Dunno I think is fun and pretty awesome." I raised my brows at him in surprise. "Like you."

"Aw, that's very sweet." He offered me a sheepish smile as I felt my cheeks blushing. "It does a lot, actually." I confessed, fidgeting with my rings. "I guess I kinda needed to hear something positive about my hair."

"Well, whenever you need to hear something positive about your hair," he pointed at himself. "I'm your man." He winked at me and I let out a chuckle. "I can also tell you positive things about you in general, but that has a price."

"And what is it?"

"You'll have to let me buy you a drink at The Three Broomsticks this Saturday." I tried not to let panic slip through my recently eased demeanor; was he asking me on a date? "And give me a kiss after." He wiggled his brows at me and my face turned red. "the kiss is negotiable."

I casted my gaze down, fixing it on my shoes, not sure of what I was supposed to say at that. His foot tapping mine snapped me out of my thoughts.

"So?" My eyes traveled to him once more, only to find his studying me already. "What do you say, Y/l/n?"

"Well," I shrugged, trying in vain to play nonchalant. "Seems like an affordable price, so it's fine by me."

"I'll pick you up after lunch, yeah?" Before I could agree, he gasped, his eyes going wide. "I'm a genius."

"Come again?" I frowned, confused as his sudden frantic behavior.

"Don't mind me, love." He jumped up and jogged towards the castle, leaving me puzzled in there. I was about to grab a book from my bag when Fred rushed back, crouched down and pecked my cheek. "Your hair's amazing." He assured me. "See you!" My fingertips graced my now flushed cheek as he headed off.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

I was finishing my lunch when two towering redheads entered the Hall running; while George, slowed down, Fred made a beeline to the Hufflepuff table, his casual clothes already on.

"Ready?" He asked breathless.

"Yeah— you didn't have lunch, did you?" I pointed out, getting up to stand in front of him.

"No, but I'll eat something later—" his eyes roamed over my carefully picked outfit before stating, "You look... very pretty."

"Why, thank you." I offered him a smile and looked over my shoulder at the Gryffindor table, where his friends were very attentive to all we did. "You sure you don't wanna eat something?"

"Hundred percent." He tilted his head towards the gates. "shall we?" He prompted to walk before him, and it was then that I realized he had his hands behind his back. Once we were out in the yard, he tugged my hand and made me turn to him. "I made something for you."

"You didn't have to." Was the first thing that came to my mind when I heard his words. Then the wording dawned on me; he didn't get me something, he made me something. "What is it?"

"So, you know that I told you your hair reminded me of fireworks and streamers?" I nodded, not quite knowing where he was going with that. "Well—" he then showed me what his back was hiding; a delicate, tiny firecracker with my name written on the side. "George helped me so I could finish it on time."

"I'm—" at my loss of words, I could only let out a happy laugh. "This is so cute— am I supposed to ignite it?"

"Duh!" I gently pushed his shoulder in response to his teasing. "Do you know how to do it?"

"I've seen you do it plenty of times." I admitted, grabbing the firecracker with one hand and my wand with the other; it looked so pretty, it was a pity I'd have to ruin it.

With a brief firemaking spell, the firecracker set off. Fred pulled me back slightly before it happened, though.

I was in awe at the beautiful fireworks before us, which looked like a color-changing, expanding version of my hair.

When the colors died out, I turned to Fred, whose attention was already on me, awaiting for a reaction. Surely, he was not expecting the kiss he got, but he didn't complain either; while my hands rested on his chest, his traveled to cup my cheeks before I could pull away.

"So you liked it?" He questioned quietly against my lips.

"I loved it." I whispered back with a wide smile. "You're a sweetheart." I pecked his lips before retreating. Holding his hand in mines, I made my way back into the castle. "We're not leaving until you have lunch."

"You are a sweetheart." He responded, following my lead without offering resistance. "By the way, your hair looks gorgeous." The corners of my lips twisted into a bigger smile at the sweet words he spoke only for me to hear as we went back into the Great Hall.

Maybe my hair wasn't that bad after all.

[citadelspires]

P1 - Given how great you're track record's been for doing hypothetical interactions of Amphibia kids with the Duck kids and Owl House kids, let's try doing the Duck kids meeting the Owl House kids and who they'd like the best. I'll exclude Violet for this for the sake of evenening things out 5 to 5. I'd assume Luz would get along best with Dewey (both jump into adventure), King with Louie (could see em teaming up for a scheme), Willow with Huey (eh, more leftover interaction but can work)

Screenshot of second half of the ask provided. Text: P2 Gus with Webby (would totally ask each other lots of questions about their species), and Amity with Lena (both got abusive figures they stood up to and would totally talk about their crushes on Luz and Webby LOL). Would love to see you take on Duck kids and Owl House kids interactions.

First of all I’m very pleased to hear you find my track record on these posts good, they’ve been really fun to write and it makes me really happy people like them! Second I am so sorry it’s taken so long to get to this ask, it’s a really in depth one and it took a long time to write, I hope you’ll find it was worth the wait!

Aight! Oh and one last thing real quick before I get into it. I hope you wouldn’t mind me adding Violet back in, partially due to the fact I love her, but mostly because there’s actually another owl house character I think works significantly better with Louie than anyone else and I really want the chance to talk about that. Saving that one for last hehe. This’ll be another long one, writing below the cut.

Luz and Webby So I do like a lot of the possible interactions brought up by your suggested grouping but my mind went in a few different directions. I’ll start with Luz, who would fit in best with another excitable adventuring partner, as pointed out, but I think the best fit for her in that regard would actually be Webby. While Dewey would no doubt get along great with Luz, there’s a special element to the potential relationship between Luz and Webby that really elevates the potential of their friendship to another level, that being: they both want to eat a hamburger.

An aspect of Webby I wish the later seasons of the show got into a little more, but is definitely something I would consider a core part of her character, is the fact that she got held up in the mansion her whole childhood, with no opportunities to interact with the world around her, have all the adventures she wanted, and most importantly to just be seen as the kid she wanted to be. And while Luz was technically able to go out into the world, the place she found wasn’t one that was willing to see her, or give her any of the chances she longed for. Both Webby and Luz fully understand that feeling of being trapped in your own life, of finally getting the chance to break out and just doing your best to make the most of it. I think there’s a lot the two could gain from spending some time together.

(Also, to borrow the bit about gushing about their crushes but from the other end, these two would totally get sidetracked talking about their respective crushes and also trying to play wingman for each other. It’s a massive comic disaster in both cases, but somehow both Lena and Amity manage to find it endearing).

Amity and Violet Okay wait lemme explain. While the two of them don’t have a whole lot in common at first glance, I think they would genuinely get along extremely well. While a lot of Amity’s focus on school came at the force of her parents, you cannot honestly expect me to believe that girl isn’t a studious nerd on her own anyway. Heck even outside the realm of studies she throws her full dedication into literally every single thing she does. Remind you of anyone? Beyond just being extremely intelligent Violet is clever and ready for anything. She takes everything in stride and always has a plan, she can go from “we were sleeping over and you said everybody get on the plane, so we got on the plane” to “I brought an axe” in a minute flat.

I like to think the two of them would have a mutual respect for each other based on their respective intellects upon first meeting, but as they become closer friends they find they can move from more serious respect to a casual enjoyment of each other. I would go as far as to say that both of these characters really value dependability in a friend, and that they each provide a lot of that. To wrap back around to the stuff about intelligence I think Violet could provide a lot of insight to Amity as far as showing her that pursuing studies and academic heights of her own volition can be something that she can just do because she wants to, and that’s no excuse for unhealthy parental relationships. Getting along so well with someone like Violet only to see that her parents are actually really loving and supportive, that would be really eye-opening for Amity I think. For Violet’s part she could get a lot of help from Amity as far as her pursuit of the secrets of magic goes. I suspect Amity would be much more interested in the study of her magic than Violet would be able to get Lena to tolerate lol.

Bonus Round: Amity would absolutely be a senior junior woodchuck and she would love it you cannot convince me otherwise. She starts quoting the JWGB around the owl house kids and they all look at her like she’s crazy.

Lena and Willow I feel like this one might seem a little out there at first but trust me on this one. Initially Lena doesn’t think too much of Willow, being as close as she is to Webby she knows liking flowers and cute things doesn’t mean Willow is automatically to be taken lightly but she feels like she’s got a good read on her that she generally prefers to avoid trouble and turns down opportunities for violence, which isn’t really Lena’s deal. Over time Lena figures she was right about her first impressions as Willow doesn’t seem to take many opportunities to expose some hidden power, even when Lena knows the people around her kinda deserve it.

She learns to adjust her opinion when she finally does get the chance to see Willow in action and realizes that girl is more powerful than any of the other kids she’s met in the boiling aisles bar none(yes this is my genuine opinion of willow if you don’t think she could kick your ass you’re wrong). It’s at that moment where she starts to pay more attention to Willow and notices a lot more of the strength she puts into all the little things, how much she cares for everyone and everything, and it does a great deal to show Lena that maybe having super strong magic powers isn’t mutually exclusive with being kind and gentle. And maybe gentle isn’t her thing but still, it’s nice to know.

For Willow’s part she’s just happy to make more friends. Especially if the opportunity arises, as I like to think it would, when they’re close enough friends, that Lena would start to hint around asking questions about how Willow remains so casual and nice with the ability to do so much damage, and Willow takes the chance to help Lena figure out her magic a bit more, and learn how to better appreciate it as an aspect of herself she doesn’t have to be scared of. (I mean come on Lena never really learned how to do any of it except barely kind of from Magica of all people she could really  use something like that).

Huey and Gus Now there are some certain things about Gus that would drive Huey absolutely nuts. His lack of primary and reliable sources for any of his information being a big one, but at the end of the day I think he’d enjoy Gus’ desire to learn in the first place. Gus would probably be a little dubious about Huey’s “sources” and “citations” but if it helped him get more info on the human realm he’d certainly go for it in the end. In that way the two balance each other out pretty well. Gus is studious and intelligent but he’s a little off the wall, he’s got a big creative streak, and he’s really excitable. Huey is really really good at facts and analysis but he lacks the strength in imagination that Gus has. Huey is able to take all the grandiose concepts Gus is able to think up and help make them actually happen. Gus has that specific brand of an adventurers soul matched up with the fact he’s not actually the type to get into danger and fights, meaning he’s able to drag Huey out of his comfort zone a little and help him reach new heights with his mind that his struggles with creativity prevent him from reaching, while managing to not make him feel like he’s actually in danger. I actually believe the two of them together could get some really incredible stuff done.

What I’m saying is that with Huey’s help Gus could absolutely complete his tunnels under Hexside.

Dewey and King Now this, this is the pair who would go incredibly well together, at the detriment of literally everyone around them. If there is one person King “I Will Rule Everything” Clawthorne should not be exposed to its Dewey Duck. Within minutes of meeting each other the two of them would immediately have so many bad ideas. Between Dewey’s insistence on being the best and most daring adventurer while putting his name on everything and going down in history & King’s trying to rule everything and everyone, the attempts to raise the stakes would be constant and the two would spend literal hours endlessly trying to one-up each other. All in one day they search for legendary treasure, discover an entirely new civilization, try to take over said civilization, create a new species just to name it after themselves, and build statues of themselves in the middle of Bonesbourough. And that’s all before lunch.

Louie Here it is. The one I waited till the very end for out of sheer excitement. I even kept the second name out of the heading thing. That’s how secretive I’m trying to be about this. See, there’s one character in the owl house that works so well with Louie it’s practically canon. Their interactions have so much potential, they each bring so much to the table, I just couldn’t Not talk about it. And yeah, I know this ask was specifically asking about the owl house and ducktales kids, but I just couldn’t resist talking about the relationship between Louie and Eda.

A con artist from another world who was so successful she became nationally famous? There’s no way Louie would pass up an opportunity like that. For his part I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s already managed to set up another underworld identity in the boiling aisles, or at the very least that Eda could totally have been to the ducktales realm and heard of his one there.

Either way I’m convinced the two of them would start planning a heist as soon as they figure out who each other are. Eda is a little prideful and wants to show this kid he can’t out-con her, but Louie knows what he’s doing just as much. Honestly with the two of them combined Eda wouldn’t have to worry about losing her stand for a long time. Over the course of their planning and seeing Louie in action Eda begrudgingly gains some respect for the  kid, and while Louie was definitely just using her as a learning/profit opportunity at first, he’s pretty susceptible to getting attached.

For Louie, it’s the fact that she actually respects him for being good at what he does. Even back with his family who all love and care about him and all that he still feels like most of them don’t really get what he does or see what’s special about him, so having someone who made a whole life of it be even a little proud of him feels really nice.

And of course, at the end of their heist when they finally have the money in hand, and Eda just casually hands over his half, he stares at her like she’s crazy.

“You’re just.. Giving it to me?!”

“Well, yeah. That was the deal wasn’t it kid? I mean if you really want I definitely have a few ideas for it.”

“No! Uh, no, thanks, I’ll keep it. It’s just that you really remind me of someone, I guess I was expecting something else.”

[platonicavengers]

headcanons for being the youngest maximoff (part two)

pairings: maximoff twins x sibling!gn!reader && avengers x gn!reader

warnings: spoilers for infinity war + endgame, death, non-descriptive violence, idk

author’s note: IM SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG TO COME OUT AAAAAAAA it was supposed to be up a while ago but things got in the way and im so sorry :(

tags: @madamevirgo​  @euphoniumpets​

headcanons under the cut !

so

after steve broke everyone out of the raft you were all on the run for a while

vision and natasha joined you all at some point, and scott and clint returned home to their families

after a while wanda and vision decided to stay in scotland, leaving you with sam, nat, and steve

you were not a huge fan of the idea of leaving her behind

you had already lost your parents and pietro and even though she wasn’t dead you still wouldn’t be able to see her

but you knew why she did what she did

fast forward a little bit

you find out that tony went missing

and then that wanda and vision are being attacked

so u all fly to scotland to help them

*insert u being a badass and beating the shit out of an alien*

finally reuniting w your sister

there were tears

when you arrived back at the compound it was like a breath of fresh air after so long

it’s a shame you weren’t there under better circumstances

immediately getting upset when you saw the hologram of ross

that motherfucker

anyways

going to wakanda was an.... interesting experience

you wanted to enjoy it 

but considering why you were there,,,,,,

it was kinda hard to enjoy it lol

wanda ofc stayed up in the lab with vision and shuri

she wanted you to stay up there as well so she could keep an eye on you

she was very hesitant to let you go into the front lines of the battle

even though you were an adult now you were still her little sibling and she was worried for you

you assured her that you would be fine though

fine might be pushing it but

let’s be realistic here

you kicked some alien ass down there

taking out enemy after enemy with no hesitation

pretty impressive tbh. ur fucking awesome

ily

anyways

eventually wanda came down to join the battle

the two of you fought alongside each other

badass sibling duo ugh yes

but then

you had to go against thanos himself

ugly ass mf

you tried to use your magic to remove his gauntlet

you were unsuccessful

he kinda tossed you to the side like a rag doll

which hurt like a bitch

when he snapped you had no idea what tf to do

i mean you had just lost, what were you supposed to do?

you were in the middle of crawling over to wanda, wanting to try to comfort her over the loss of vision

but then she just kinda, disintegrated?

you were in shock for a minute

but then it hit you

“no, no, no, no, no...”

you started sobbing

now you had officially lost your whole family

after a little bit you made your way over to what was left of the team

you all kinda stood in silence for a little while, just processing everything that had happened

eventually you all returned to the quinjet and flew back home

for the first two-ish weeks after the snap you just locked yourself in your room and refused to leave

though eventually you did leave your room again, though very reluctantly

after three weeks had passed by carol, who you were quite fascinated by, returned to the compound carrying a spaceship with her

turns out tony was on said ship

you were glad to see him after so long

and now we jump to going to space to beat thanos’ ass (a g a i n)

you had never been to space before so it was quite a new experience

shame it was under such poor circumstances

when you arrived at thanos’ residence you were out for blood

he took your last remaining family and you were not in the mood to let him get away with it

and then you found out the stones were gone

and everything he had done couldn’t or so you thought be reversed

you were already ready to kill thanos before, but especially now that that was revealed

sadly though, thor took the responsibility of killing the titan himself

*5 years later*

you were 23 now

a whole ass adult

you still lived at the compound with natasha, not exactly having anywhere else to go

not like you would’ve left anyways but

nat had become your sort of support system over the last few years

after all, at this point you really only had each other

all of the rest of the remaining team went their separate ways, none of which deciding to stay with the two of you

one day though steve comes by

you were glad to see him, you had missed him a lot since he left

the three of you had a not-so-positive conversation and then out of nowhere scott appears at the front gate

he tells you his insane idea of using the quantum realm to time travel back to before thanos

you were very wary

you didn’t exactly have a lot of knowledge on the quantum realm but you could still tell that it seemed risky

the four of you went to tony’s house to try to convince him

he almost immediately said no

yikes

you all tried to convince him but to no avail

so you went to bruce hulk instead

bruce?? hulk?? who tf is he tbh

but anywho

when you saw him you were kinda like ????????

but chose to ignore it

you got him to agree to the time travel thing

and it was ?somewhat? successful

somewhat is pushing it tbh

scott became a baby which wasn’t great

but then tony showed up and fixed it like the genius he is

you helped recruit all the remaining avengers to help w the whole time travel thing

you were going to go back in time and get the stones before thanos could

you went with clint and natasha to vormir

you thought it made the most sense for you to sacrifice yourself

after all you weren’t even positive this whole thing with the stones would work, and you couldn’t risk continuing to live a life without wanda and the rest of the team

they stopped you before you could jump though

when natasha dropped you swore your heart stopped beating

she had been all you had for the past 5 years and then she was just gone

you ended up getting the soul stone but at what cost

you and clint returned to the compound and there was a small ‘memorial’ (for lack of a better word) for natasha

after that tony put all of the stones together into a makeshift gauntlet

after a little bit of deliberation it was decided that bruce would be the one to snap his fingers

bruce, hulk, whatever tf

brulk

LMFAO

sorry back to the headcanons LOL

he snapped

immediately everything felt different

you went out to look out a window, seeing a few butterflies fluttering around that you knew weren’t there before

a smile immediately took over ur face

“hey guys, i think it worked!” - you

you were about to turn around and walk back to everyone else

but then

you saw a large ship in the distance

and something began flying toward the compound

and then everything went dark

when you woke up again you were buried under a bunch of rubble

which bruce picked up off of you

you ran out to where thor, tony, and steve were

you saw thanos and froze

they were engaged in a battle and you tried to keep your distance in order to collect yourself for a moment

which proved to be futile because you were dragged into the fight not long after

you kinda got your ass handed to you

it wasn’t pretty

you were lying on the ground when all of a sudden you saw orange light surrounding you

you looked up to see portals opening, all your allies who you had thought to be dead stepping out

you saw wanda and you stopped breathing for a moment

you got up as quick as you could

which proved to be difficult due to ur injuries and overall extreme fatigue

you launched yourself at her, bringing her into the tightest hug you could muster

the two of you held onto each other for a moment before you had to return to fighting

maximoff sibling teamup part 2???? yeah most definitely 

fast forward to after thanos and his bitch ass army lost (im sorry i just really dont have the energy to write all that rn)

and to after tony’s funeral 

you and wanda had a l o t of catching up to do

like

5 years worth LOL

u had to comfort her over vision’s death a lot

considering that to her, that was still only a couple days ago

and a lot of the time when you two talked the mood was kinda depressing, all things considered

but you still tried to keep it lighthearted

for example

your absolute favorite thing in the world was the fact that you were now older than her due to the snap, 3 years older to be exact

you held it over her all the time, constantly making fun of her for it

all in good fun of course

something wanda really loved was when you would tell her stories from when she was in the soul world (only happy ones ofc)

though it made her sad that you had to go so long without her, and she missed out on so much

she wanted to know what she had missed

all in all

you two were incredibly close, the snap and its aftermath only further confirming that

sibling goals tbh

a/n #2: aaaaaa im sorry to end it on that note (i didnt know how to end it im sorry asf) but yeah </3 and once again, so sorry this took me so long to post, ive been super busy with school && life in general so i just havent gotten around to it :( butttttttttttt if u guys want i could try to continue this series of headcanons for wandavision?? i’d wait until friday ofc for the final episode and id spoiler tag it and everything but i could try my best? might be kinda difficult but i think it could be fun so if anyone wants that then lmk!! :)

[bookwyrminspiration]

TW// Drugs n such

you asked for it smh, but I've been thinking a lot about that one scene in Neverseen in Exilliums healing tent (or whatever its called)

I had a whole rant here about what the implication of this 'serum' might mean in the lost cities but it kinda spiraled into nothing so I'm cutting it out. (main point was just the mood towards drugs, Shannon has had previous mentions of both alcohol and drunk people, so (though im not saying she should incorporate this into a middle grade book series a t a l l), Id be curious to see her take on drugs, (if they exist and how they effect people and the elven population // how is it treated? Is it looked down upon or even forbidden (why we might only see it in Exillium territories) or is it so normal and inconsequential that its just part of the norm in the lost cities?

but anyway, back to the thing I was originally thinking of - i feel like this is something rarely talked about but pls tell me I'm not the only one who has picked up on how weird Keefe's relationship with sedatives is. It's such a contrast to Sophie, where she's openly opposed to taking any type of sedative he seems to be really open to them, in fact in Unlocked every time he's knocked out by a sedative his language is pretty much always positive, like he really enjoys it. This probably just ties into something you mentioned a while back about Keefe and dealing with stuff by running away but I find it really interesting.

(Sorry if this is an uncomfortable ask to get, I know not everyone is comfortable with drug talk and I hope this Isn't overstepping a line.)

you're fine, don't worry! no lines overstepped. I appreciate you including the warning at the top, even though I'm alright talking with the subject. if there's something I'm uncomfortable with, that's not on you to know or worry about because I haven't shared any of my specific triggers, and the more anxiety-inducing ones are so specific to my personal experiences that I highly doubt they'll ever have any effect on any conversation ever. but I do genuinely appreciate your concern <33

I don't remember specifically what I asked for, but this is a topic I hadn't even realized was so fascinating, so thank you for bringing it up! That scene is kinda funny (as in weird) looking back on it, but Keefe was completely out of it and being a lot more vulnerable than he probably wanted to be due to his state of mind. I think it was intended to mirror something like anesthesia or laughing gas (note: in my brief research trying to find info about the boobrie dude I made a mental comparison between tam and sandor, so I'm just making note of it here so I don't forget), at least as far as Keefe's reaction goes. I think part of this was strategic so that we could get some information and vulnerability (although unwillingly) from Keefe and get that first glimpse of "the boy beneath all that swagger" (paraphrased from Sophie). But that's not what your ask is about so I'll move on before I get even more distracted.

wine, at the very least, exists in the lost cities. we've got fizzleberry wine, which is blamed by some for Caprise Redek's accident. Aside from that we've seen no mention of it, as this is a middle grade series about a young teen girl in a fantasy world, and in a "perfect" world there isn't a lot of talk about recreational substances. And I agree with you! this isn't to say that I think drugs and alcohol should be this huge thing in keeper or that it even needs to be address, just commenting that the attitude the general public has towards substances and intoxication is likely even more severe in the elven world, as has been the pattern with other things. We can tell from Caprise's incident that their wine functions similar if not identical to ours, as it was said to have impaired her motor control and thinking, hence how she fell off that balcony. So I think we could assume that drugs in the Lost Cities would be similar to those in the Forbidden Cities in function. Not in name though, likely named after some strange elven thing. Though if we go with the wine example, Fizzleberry is likely an exact description of what it is--the wine probably fizzes and is made from berries.

the elves highly value the mind, so I anticipate that anything that messes with it past beneficial medicinal uses prescribed by a physician are frowned upon. they think of your mental capacity and capabilities as integral to who you are, and composure as essential. drugs take that away and can impair your reasoning, hence my conclusion they're not well liked. however, I propose that this mindset is mostly those who are very proper, for example Lord Cassius. Dex was more than ready to take concentration serums of his own making--and convinced Sophie to take one (note: dex has almost killed both Sophie and Fitz. that can't be fun to know)--which directly messed with his limbic center. However, as he was raised in an apothecary and is already a little less in line with all other elvin values, I don't think him being an outlier is enough to completely through out my assumption. overall: looked down upon because it messes with the mind and the mind is crucial to elven society, and the way it impairs your thinking would make you a lesser person

and you're right! keefe's relationship with sedative is weird. we have this teenager who grew up without stable supports or a loving family having very little regard for how substances will effect his body, prioritizing the possible--not guaranteed, possible--benefits over all the risks. this is not to say drug use is inherently bad, just that the situation he's in makes me very cautious because he feels more at risk of falling into bad habits. also, your observation about tying that into him running away is very astute! i've talked a lot about him running away from his problems in more ways that physical, and I think this is an excellent example of that

he doesn't like his reality, the world he lives in when he's awake and aware and lucid. it's full of all these problems and people and he doesn't know what to do. but when he's asleep? he doesn't have to deal with any of that. he doesn't have to do anything, but he's also troubled enough and anxious enough that sleep doesn't always come easy, and he can be plagued by nightmares. but those sedatives mess with his mind and not only make him sleep faster and longer, but they can mess with your dreams and alter the reality you experience while asleep. i guess it could be a way of trying to take control of a situation he had very little control over, especially in unlocked when everyone else was trying to fix things without consulting him. with his waking world that bad, of course he's gonna like anything that takes him away from it.

it stands out especially when we switch to him as a narrator and he's praising these things and wanting to be sedated, as we've spent so long in Sophie's head and she's so against them from the trauma she experienced in the first book. that could mean his attitude them is more jarring just because we're used to Sophie and it wouldn't seem as dramatic if we'd switched from say, Fitz's head. but that doesn't mean there's nothing here.

i think i've said it before, but Keefe doesn't have any healthy coping strategies right now that he consistently relies on. his deference towards avoidance and making the problem go away, even if it's just in feeling induced by drugs, is a more extreme example of how he doesn't know how to just exist without hurting.

I jumped around a bit between topics so if I missed something you wanted to talk about more in depth please feel free to send another ask! Keefe's relationship to experiencing reality is fascinating and covers things from denial and refusal to change all the way to drugs and literally altering the way his brain perceives reality. This boy is on a collision course with destruction in both body and mind.

[insomniac-dot-ink]

Books I’ve Read in 2020

AHello! I’m trying to read as many books as I can during the quarantine, here’s what I’ve finished so far:

On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous by Ocean Vuong (literary fiction): a son writes a letter about his life to his illiterate mother. Breathtakingly beautiful with it’s way with words this book is lovely and real in the hardest and sweetest ways. The author’s combination of prose and poetry is dazzling and intricate, this book has stuck with me for days afterward. 4.5 out of 5 stars.

Spinning Silver by Naomi Novik (fantasy): a money-lender gets in trouble after bragging she can turn silver into gold and is kidnapped and ordered to do so by a fey creature. It may be that I am the perfect audience for this type of book, but it’s my favorite thing I’ve read all year. It’s a book that equally takes on the fantastical and real-world with compelling female characters at the center of the whole thing. A wonderful fantasy journey inspired by eastern-European Jewish folklore. 5 out of 5 stars.

Through the Woods by Emily Carroll (horror graphic novel): a series of short horror comics. Absolutely bone-chilling! This was a really fun type of scary story, especially the last one which made my skin absolutely crawl. Deliciously eerie, this was treat to read if not a little too short. 4 out of 5 stars.

The Particular Sadness of Lemon Cake by Aimee Bender (magical realism): a young girl can taste other people’s emotions in their cooking and begins to understand her family in new ways. This was a weird book, but it has everything you’ve got to love about that combination of the surreal and mundane. It’s sense of character was electrifying and I had fun engaging with this type of off-kilter real world. I was a little frustrated in parts bc of some characters choices, but that too was true to life. 4 out of 5 stars.

Crier’s War by Nina Varela (steampunk fantasy wlw): about a Made automaton heir to a throne and her human hand-maiden that is trying to kill her. This was an easy read with a lot of tension between the two main characters that I liked, but the writing itself was very weak. There was waaay too much exposition in parts and the dialogue had some really hockey lines. I enjoyed the twists and turns in the middle of the book, but the beginning and end didn’t have much movement. 2.5 stars out of 5.

The Huntress by Kate Quinn (historical fiction): honestly, I’m a little disappointed. This book just did not hit my sweet spots, it wasn’t fast-paced enough for me to get immersed in the plot, and the characters weren’t real enough to be wholly invested in them. That said I adored Nina Markova and the Night Witches, so that did help. 3 starts out of 5.

The Dark Descent of Elizabeth Frankenstein by Kiersten White (horror sci-fi retelling): HAND IN UNLOVABLE HAND. A retelling of Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein from the perspective of Victor Frankenstein’s wife and my God! The characters! The plot was well-enough, but the characters took the whole show for being complex and compelling. The main character was breathtakingly layered and I was wholly invested in Elizabeth and her story and the triumph at the end of this story was tangible. 4 out of 5 stars! 

Uprooted by Naomi Novik (fantasy): A story of a young woman who lives in a valley where a girl must go live with a wizard for 10 years. She is certain she won’t be chosen, but ends up having to be “uprooted” herself. I enjoyed most of this book! However, I think I liked “Spinning Silver” a lot more just because the ending of this one somehow lost me. The characters were good and plot compelling, but (SPOILERS) the big battle at the end seemed to drag and didn’t interest me somehow. 3.8 out of 5 stars.

Gods of Jade and Shadow by Silvia Moreno-Garcia (fantasy): excellent read! A story of a young woman in Jazz Age Mexico who goes on an adventure with a Mayan death God who is trying to regain his throne. A romp across the country absolutely brimming with likable characters and fairy tale twists. My only complaint would be that most of it felt a little predictable due to the fact we knew where we were going throughout the whole story, However, it was still greatly enjoyable for the heroine herself, Casiopea. 4 out of 5 stars!

Little Fires Everywhere by Celeste Ng (literary): a story of two families in a progressive “planned” community, how their lives intertwine, their secrets, and a central question surrounding motherhood. Deeply empathetic to its characters and introspective, this is an every-day story of people in suburbia that reads like a thriller. I could barely put it down and felt deeply for its characters and situations, 5 out of 5 stars!

Wilder Girls by Rory Power (YA sci-fi suspense): a story of a group of girls at a boarding school on an island affected by the “tox” which alters their bodies in strange ways like giving them scales or an extra spine. This was an eerie, interesting read with a wlw romance! Watch out for the body horror in this one, but it was very gripping and held my interest. Some of the pacing was off in places (like the romance), but had a very creepy atmosphere that did it for me. 3.8 out of 5 stars!

If We Were Villains by M.L. Rio (thriller-mystery): A thriller about a group of Shakespeare actors in their last year of college and one of their classmates who turns up dead. I enjoyed the murder mystery part of this novel more than I expected despite the fact I had guessed who had “done it” pretty early on. I really enjoyed the James-Oliver dynamic with its growing homoeroticism, but I didn’t like how the character of Meredith was handled at all. She felt like a one-note aside. I might have given this book four stars, but the ending was EXTREMELY frustrating for me and I did not like the “open-ended” conclusion. 3 out of 5 stars.

A Man Called Ove by Fredrik Backman (literary humor): a weird character-driven comedy about an old grumpy man and a new family that moves in next to him. Warning for themes of suicide. Anyway, I don’t normally indulge in cliches like “I laughed, I cried, I loved one Cat Annoyance.” However, that’s exactly what I did. I laughed out loud, I cried my eyes out (THE CAT’S HEAD WAS IN HIS PALM), I loved this book. It was sweet and compelling and thoroughly immersive. 5 out of 5 stars!

The Ten Thousand Doors of January by Alix E. Harrow (historical fantasy): set in the early 1900s comes a story of a young girl and her experience with “Doors” that lead to different worlds. This book had a lot of great character development and really interesting descriptions, however, I didn’t like it as much as I wanted to. I found it hard to get myself to sit down a read it. There was just something missing with the push to “page-turn,” but it was still a really good book. 3.7 out of 5 stars!

Gideon the 9th by Tamsyn Muir (high fantasy, kinda gay): I AM FILLED WITH EMOTIONS. This was book was definitely a page-turner. I was very confused with it at the beginning, but the characters and their interactions were, forgive the expression, the life blood of the story and kept me wholly invested. The ending has CRUSHED my heart, but damn did I have a good time reading it. 4.5 out of 5 stars!

Harrow the 9th by Tamsyn Muir (sequel to Gideon the 9th): I really enjoyed this book. It was just as strange and twisting as the first book, though I think I enjoyed the first one a bit more since I love Gideon. It was fun ride overall, though the ending was kind of really confusing. So 4 out of 5 stars.

The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo (historical fiction): Overall, I really enjoyed this book! The writing style was personable and grounded in reality. I found myself really liking the main characters and the exploration of the life of a bi main character was really well done I thought. A solid book with drama and glamor to boot. 4.6 out of 5 stars!

The Nightingale by Kristin Hannah (historical fiction): A story of two sisters during WWII and their resistance to Nazi occupation. To be honest, this book wasn’t my cup of tea. It was compelling, but also wholly depressing and I felt like gloried in the pain of the two main characters too much. The history was wonderful and realistic, but it didn’t make me feel anything good afterward. It was just dark. 3 out of 5 stars.

Red, White & Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston (mlm romance): I finally finished this after the heaviness of The Nightingale. This is a story of the First Son of the USA falling for the prince of England. And it turned out to be a very fun and light hearted read! Some of it was kinda generic and too political, and it coulda been shorter, but I thought the romance itself made up for it. It just made me feel so sweet and lovely inside. 4 out of 5 stars!

Anxious People by Fredrik Backman (literary humor): I’m searching out heartfelt books and this one ticked off all the marks on my “sweet” list. A lovely book that made me cry more times than I would like to admit. Compassionate beyond belief, funny and heartfelt. I think I enjoyed A Man Called Ove slightly more, but this book was also dear to me and something I hope to reread in the future. 4.2 out of 5 stars!

Station Eleven by Emily St John Mandel (sci-fi): A post-apocalyptical story about a group of traveling Shakespeare actors and a symphony. Overall, an excellent read that somehow pictures a more realistic or even softer version of the apocalypse. At first, I wasn't happy with the jumping around of the story, but as I progressed I grew fonder and fonder of the interwoven characters and their journey. A very fascinating read about a world that hits a little too close to home. The appreciation of the arts and preserving humanity was somehow very hopeful and I was fully engaged with this story. 5 out of 5 Stars!

Up next: The Hidden Life of Trees by by Peter Wohlleben (nonfiction science), The City We Became by N. K. Jemisin (urban fantasy), The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern (fantasy)