#and judging by the popularity of these jokes I'm sure I'm not the only one

[llycaons]

complaining about something dumb. suicide tw

it's not that I think suicide jokes are appropriate to make with strangers or with people who are sensitive to them (obviously) and the reminder to tone them down in the tags is a good one but the little 'uwu they're never okay to make ironically...you'll feel better' is so gd aggravating to me. like I'm sorry but you're a stranger and I'm a grown adult you don't get to finger-wag about the jokes I make about MYSELF. how do YOU know I'll feel better? you don't know me or the relationship I have to this topic! 'I promise' but you don't KNOW 😭 what if I like suicide jokes and they make me happy. what then. what if joking about fictional characters killing themselves is fun for me. truly who is it hurting as long as I'm being respectful of others

personally its like. swearing. the catharsis is so valuable to ME I have to check myself constantly out of respect for other ppl and I know for a fact if I made as many jokes as I wanted to THAT'S what would make me feel better but if I never do idk I'd feel smothered since it's such an extreme thing to say something it's all that I can say to express myself. yeah as someone who's not suicidal ik I'm not the target audience for this but its such a pet peeve let me ventttt. 'I promise' oh my god shut up

[wannaeatramyeon]

Adventures of YOUR part time job in the Lookismverse

G/N. You work the graveyard shift in a convenience store. You meet bizarre characters on different nights. Part 1 | Part 2

The customers can usually be separated into 3 categories.

Drunks, students, and weirdos.

Unfortunately for you, lately the weirdos have turned into regulars. But fortunately the weirdos aren't so weird.

The one that made it a habit to check in on you, with the scars and the cheesy wink wasn't so bad. Jack, was it? You can't remember and it's been too long for you to ask. You awkwardly address him as 'you' and avoid any situation where you need to use his name.

He likes to ask how you are, tell a few jokes. Spirit undeterred even when you look at him with a blank face because bless his soul, he's not funny at all but at least he tries and he's a lot less weird than first impression.

He hangs around at odd times, then again you do only work at odd times. Telling you stories about this and that. Something about Big Deal, something about a guy called Sinu and something about another guy called Samuel.

It's difficult to keep track. It's like he wants to talk but he's cryptic and god, it's 4am who can blame you if your eyes are glazing over.

John, or is it Jerry, is waffling again. He seems to always be talking about Samuel. Who he apparently misses and wonders where it's gone wrong and hang on, he's never been explicit but you just had to know.

When he takes a breath to munch on a cookie, you ask, "Hold on, is Samuel your ex?"

Wait no his name is Jason, definitely Jason- freezes mid-chew, "Why would you say that? He's my friend!"

Joshua sprays crumbs all over you but you note how he doesn't say no.

(You think you see this Samuel one early morning. You’re pretty sure you’ve seen him before and man, he really looks like shit.

Looks like the breakup is getting to him too.

Poor Samuel and Poor Jim.)

.

.

But sometimes weirdos are just weirdos. 

It's ok. It comes with the territory so long as they're not in the habit of hurling abuse or whatever, you can deal with it.

In recent memory, there's only been two people that you have had to almost chase out with a broomstick.

You should have known they would be weirdos when one of them walks in in surprisingly teeny tiny purple camo shorts. Not that you're a pearl clutcher, but you're worried that one wrong move and he could be dangling out.

Besides. Purple. Camo. Shorts. Those words should never follow one after the other, and you repress a shudder at this guy's hideous dress sense when he comes up to you.

You thought the other one was alright, at least there's no hideous purple camo shorts in sight and his hair is nice (huh, this style must be popular, you’ve seen a lot of guys with this hair)-

But then he opens his mouth and asks for snakes and you think it's karma for judging camo-guy for his appearance when his friend is equally odd.

"We usually keep the snakes next to the ramen," you deadpan and the two men actually go to seek out the supposed snake (meat or pet purposes?) only to return moments later, empty-handed and looking confused.

"I think the snake is all sold out," Non-camo guy says as camo-guy glances around as if you might have hidden your snake stock elsewhere.

They must have thought you were stupid as you stood there opening and closing your mouth like a fish (or maybe a snake, do snake do these things), because come on, how are you even supposed to formulate a response to that?

Then you look at their eyes and also notice them looking snakey and surmise it must be some weird fetish thing. Pretending to be snakes and eating snakes and having pet snakes.

You want no part of this and tell them to get out.

.

.

"I'm Baek Hangyeol," a new face says, pointing to his ID badge pinned to the white coat. 

"Doctor Baek Hangyeol." He stresses Doctor and Hangyeol and you wonder if he is waiting for a round of applause.

You don't say anything but you do notice he looks like a teenager and what idiot would let a teenager operate on them. (Drunk, student, weirdo. He could be all three.) Doctor Baek Hangyeol must be bluffing.

You decide not to call him on his bullshit. 

"Cool," is all you respond with because you don't want another complaint for being too mouthy. You are half tempted to tell him you're not a doctor, that you just work here but that seemed kinda redundant so you keep your mouth shut.

"Do you believe in true beauty?" he asks when you finish bagging up his goods (a plain water with added minerals, a bottle of multivitamins and a protein shake) and you think what sort of question is that.

You give a halfhearted shrug and say "Sure" and he hands his business card over.

"If you're ever considering it," he tells you with a wild smile. After he has left you look down at the lettering, eyes zeroing in on ‘Plastic Surgery’.

Excuse me?! What is he trying to say?

You thought he was a weirdo but now he has firmly shifted over to asshole. You regret not telling him to go fuck himself while you had the chance. The complaint would 100% be worth it. Zero regrets.

On your break, you burn the card and feel a small sense of satisfaction.

.

.

A tall blonde guy with a creepy vibe (hold on, have you seen him before, he seems familiar. Then again, creepy blonde guys seem to be quite common around here-) walks in with the most billowing coat you have ever seen.

The entrance is kinda cool but the actual coat is kinda tragic with the cheesy red lettering and you wonder if you can pull it off any better than him.

You're still wondering about his coat when he's paying you, and hang on you have definitely seen him before because he says arigatou and hands over yen and you tell him no. Won only.

The idea of the coat, which has evolved into you fantasising about having a full blown cape, quickly loses its charm however, when the blonde gets caught in the automatic doors and you have to wrestle them open to free him.

Afterwards, you ask if he's ok, if he is harmed and can’t resist asking if the coat is ok too. You really don't want a lawsuit on your watch especially when the malfunctioning doors are not your fault.

Your kindness is repaid by him telling you he's not interested (what the fuck) and that his heart will not stray (again, what the fuck).

.

.

You accidentally eavesdrop on a couple of students lamenting about missing out on school work. You didn’t mean to eavesdrop ok, the aisles are tight and cramped, it’s a small space. 

You peek over, and the one with big ears (seriously, they are huge) is telling the one with his back to you (goodness, his back is huge too) that school is important and he’s got notes the other one can use. 

It’s sweet, you think. School is important and it’s good they recognise that. Nice of them to help each other out too.

When they both come to pay (holy shit, that’s a fuckton of chocolate milk), you’re surprised to find Big Ear’s friend, Big Back, looks anywhere between late 20s and early 40s but it’s never too late to catch up on education, you suppose.

You spend the rest of your shift feeling motivated.

.

.

“Going camping?” you ask the guy with the sandy blonde hair, chuckling nervously and ringing his items through. 

Either he’s going camping or he’s gonna kill and hide a dead body in the forest.

He’s pretty stoic, only giving you a curt nod. You can’t help but probe him a bit more. You’ve got a feeling that if or when the dead body turns up, you want to at least clear your conscience that you’ve tried your best so you make some more idle small talk.

You mention how you haven’t been camping for ages, not since you nearly burned your tent down and singed your hair after you tried to cook some marshmallows over a fire that turned out to be more of a raging bonfire (and might have awoken your pyromaniac streak, but you keep that to yourself).

The blonde guy actually pipes up and says “Master Taesoo would never do that.” 

You almost apologise out of principle due to how earnest he sounds, then he mentions something about how good this Master Taesoo is at catching and cooking snake and you wonder what the fuck is up with people and the snake obsession.

Either way, it doesn’t sound like someone is getting murdered. Only a snake (poor snake) so at least you can sleep easy later that day.

.

.

“Oh hi DG,” you say, “Sorry about your cryptocurrency falling through. Diegocoin was it?”

He blinks at you a few times in surprise and heavens above. What’s that saying, fool me once, shame on me; fool me twice, shame on you? This guy has fooled you exactly no times with his shitty disguises and his effort has substantially dwindled too. 

He has only put his hood up and you did think you might get mugged at one point-

It’s an empty store, for crying out loud. Who comes into an empty store in the asscrack of night with their hood up, not wanting to draw attention to themselves.

Then you notice the pink hair and shifty glance and duh.

“Is it the-?” he asks, putting his hood down and signalling to his hair.

“Yeah, it’s the-” you signal to your own head of hair. “Dude you really need to dye it if you’re going for subtle.” You pause, consider something, “Hold on.”

You walk over to the beauty aisle and grab the black hair dye.

“On the house,” you tell DG because this guy really has no self awareness.

.

.

“What do you mean no?”

“No." Your boyfriend peers down at you, arms crossed and at the end of his patience with you.

You open your mouth to argue- 

“No. You know nothing about Taekwondo. How can you work here?”

You look around helplessly at the studio. He’s not exactly wrong but you’re sick of dealing with the weirdos and the snakes and the creepy blondes. “But your dad-”

“I don’t care what that stupid old man says,”

“Taehoon!” Hansu scolds from the other side of the room, and Hansu's class of toddlers all whirl their head around to stare.

“I can learn?” you offer and Taehoon raises one skeptical brow.

“So you’re going to be a student?” You nod enthusiastically, “And we’re going to pay you for that?”

Oh. Damn. 

He’s got you there.

[melminli]

teachers pet - by melanie martinez

pairing: young coriolanus snow x fem. reader

summery - if i'm so special, why am i secret?

word count: 2k+

contains: student coryo (academy is basically a uni), teacher reader, age gap (coryo is in his early twenties while the reader is somewhere in her thirties), teacher x student relationships, dark themes, cheating (reader is married), mommy issues, manipulating, blackmailing

The life of a nerd didn't look as bad as it was portrayed in movies or books. However, it must be said that Coriolanus Snow had neither the stereotypical look nor behavior of a nerd, which may have been the reason why he was hardly treated like one. He had only the best, the good grades of a model student, the popularity of a popular student, and the good looks of a young man his age.

Cute girls queued up to get a chance with him since he seemed like a dream. In a world full of boys, he was a gentleman, a young man with a secure future. Some of his classmates would joke that he would be the future president of Panem, although they always had a slightly confident undertone while saying that. To be honest, no one would be surprised if he would be someday.

"Come on, Coriolanus! Let's go for a drink, you're never coming with us!" Complained the voice of some side character. "I'm sure you have a good chance with most of the girls in the bar - or boys. Whatever you like, I don't judge." He joked, and Clemensia hit him on the shoulder with her fist to warn him to take it down a notch.

She spoke in his place. "Leave him be. He's not into that sort of thing. I'm sure he'd rather spend his time doing more productive things." A slight grin stretched across her features. "Maybe you should try that sometime. Perhaps then you wouldn't fail half the subjects."

Festus interrupted the conversation as he walked past the group. "Come on, Clemmie. Leave the poor guy alone. We're students. It's normal to go partying every now and then." His eyes looked somewhat defiantly at Coriolanus. "You only live once. There's no need to waste it."

Alcoholics and drug addicts use the same excuse, stupid idiot. Coriolanus had enough of this whole interaction. It was time to wrap it up. "Of course, and everyone is free to live this life the way they want." He said with a falsely charming smile when he finally got a chance to speak. "I'm afraid I don't have much time either, I'm already in demand elsewhere."

Unfortunately for him, Arachne couldn't hold her tongue and had to carry on the conversation. "And so late on a Wednesday, too? Don't tell me our teacher's pet is in trouble. Has Mrs. Lola finally realized that you're just trying to get better grades with your flirting, and she doesn't actually have a chance with the pretty boy?" She joked as she mentioned the older woman who was getting closer to retirement with each passing year.

But her comment didn't make the intended person bitter, but Festus, who had to grit his teeth in annoyance. "Can't believe that shit works. I complimented her the other day, and she gave me a look like she was cursing me and the rest of my bloodline." He sighed. "I don't even want kids."

Coriolanus was getting impatient. If at least Sejanus was here, he could cover for him enough to leave, but no, they didn't share every damn course there was. He couldn't believe that this bothered him somehow. "No. Actually, I have asked to speak with Mrs. Rosey regarding her assigned homework." He announced, mentioning your name.

His pretty literature teacher. The only woman he wanted.

The eyes of the person who had started the whole thing in the first place lit up briefly. Coriolanus didn't bother to remember his name. "Oh, she's that one young teacher, isn't she?" He asked. The title wasn't really that hard to get since most of the teachers at the academy were dinosaurs. "She's pretty hot, I regret dropping literature man, but at the end of the day it's just an unnecessary course that requires extra work."

Okay, now Coriolanus was not only annoyed but also angry and had to stop himself from looking too passionate. "Right, see you tomorrow." He quickly said goodbye and paid no further attention to what the others were saying as he made his way to the teachers' lounge. He quickly fixed his tie and hair before knocking on the door. Fortunately, he didn't meet anyone else in the corridors who wasted his time unnecessarily. His patience was getting thin, and he didn't think he had enough of it to make him exchange more false smiles and words.

"Come in..." He heard your muffled voice call through the door before he slowly opened it, and his eyes immediately turned to your table. You, too, looked up from the papers in front of you and met his figure as you turned your chair to the side. "Mr. Snow, you said you had a question about the assignment I gave you."

There was a step between you two, but your voice still felt close. Maybe it was because you two were the only ones in the room since it was pretty late. Now that Coriolanus was looking down at your figure, you looked quite exhausted and seemed barely able to keep your eyes open. Judging by your desk, you were in the middle of correcting last week's quiz, but he doubted that was the only thing you were working on. Your usually well-groomed appearance was a little more disheveled. There were strands of hair peeking out from various places, and the first few buttons of your shirt were undone. "You never called me." Was all he said as he watched you avoid his gaze.

Your tongue licked over your dry lips as you searched for the right words. "I don't think that has anything to do with the assignment." You replied. Maybe my mistake was, hoping he had a question in the first place. "I'm not going to talk about other matters, I'm busy." You tried to explain to him.

Coriolanus laughed in disbelief. He placed his coat and bag on the chair next to him before leaning back against your table. "Oh, please. I can understand you wanting to keep our special time a secret, but don't try to deny it." He spat out, placing his hand on the papers to stop you from continuing to work on it. "Do you regret the things we shared, huh? Don't lie to me."

You met his gaze after you sighed. "Look, Mr. Snow. I'm sure you'll understand me when I tell you that you should rather concentrate on your studies, don't you think?"

His jaw tightened further as you continued to skillfully evade his questions. As if you didn't care at all, as if you didn't care about him. He was fully aware that what he was getting into was something short-term, but he still wouldn't allow you to throw him away as easily as trash. "Oh, so it's Mr. Snow now? What happened to Coryo."

You stood up so you could speak to him at eye level. Coriolanus has always been a bit more clingy with you. You expected no less, and yet it didn't make this whole procedure any less difficult. "Look, I'm sorry if I gave you the wrong impression, but I'm married, and you know that." You tried to work through the situation. You grabbed his arms to comfort him with your touch. "There are so many young girls out there who want you. I'm so much older than you, and I'm also your teacher. From the beginning, this was something that wouldn't last."

He shook his head. "I don't care about them. It's you I want, please. Only you." He begged, and this time, he was the one who grabbed your arms to stop you from leaving, from leaving him. Coriolanus could see in your eyes how his desperation couldn't convince you, and he wished it would. Not only because he wanted to, but also so that he wouldn't have to resort to other methods, but you left him no other choice. "It would be a scandal if the whole thing came out, don't you think?"

You just sighed tiredly when he didn't let you go. "Sweetie..."

He softened a little at the pet name, but that didn't stop him. "No, you can't just use me until you're satisfied and then dispose of me. I will tell everyone and you know that as a teacher you will be in a position where people will accuse you of taking advantage of me." He explained as he pushed you between him and the desk while he watched the look of irritation on your face. His one hand came up to gently stroke your cheek, but his true intentions were visible through the strong grip on your arm. "And of course, you can try to tell the truth or try to defend yourself, but you know who they're more likely to believe."

He hadn't only pushed your body in a corner anymore. "So what? We're going to keep doing this until you're satisfied and let me go." You asked, seeing no long-lasting result.

That was your mistake. It hadn't been long since you'd been married, so Coriolanus was aware that you hadn't changed your surname. He liked that about you. He liked the sound of Rosey, and he too wanted to hold you like a little pretty rose in his grasp. "Yes. Except I won't let you go. Ever." he said with a slightly dreamy look.

You dared to disagree. "Mr. Snow - " you began, but changed your tone when you saw him grimace angrily and tighten his grip on your arm. " - Coryo, look. You're a smart boy, and yes, I enjoyed our time together, but it's not right that - "

" - I love you, and if it's wrong, then I don't want to be right. Why can't you understand that already? I know I'm young, but I'm not naive, so don't talk to me like I am." He spat out in annoyance and finally reached the end of his patience. His eyes glanced briefly next to you at the table where the sheets of paper were now messely scattered around. It seemed you were in the process of correcting his. how convenient. his hand grabbed it and held it in front of you. "Let's play a little game. If I pass this quiz, you'll give me something I want."

Your eyes didn't move from his. You knew you had to play along whether you wanted to or not, and you didn't seem to get far with values and morals. You doubted you would do it at all with him. "And what do you want?" You asked him simply.

He leaned closer to you. "A kiss."

You met his eyes and took the paper from his hand without even glancing at it. "You passed." You confirmed and pulled him into a soft kiss.

This is how he liked you. When you touched him tenderly like now and stroked his hair lovingly. Coriolanus only felt like this with you. Do you think he wouldn't have tried to get away from you? He did, first with several girls who just wanted him to give and give and he hated that they just took from him and thought it was enough if they just stood pretty next to him or leaned back and spread their legs. Hated them, and so he tried women who were older than him and then women who had the same color eyes as you, some who smiled like you and then some whose voice was similar to yours. He liked those the most because with them, he could just close his eyes and imagine it was you.

Then he finally got tired of just imagining it, and once he had a taste of what might be, there was no going back to his old ways.

"I love you." He finally said as you ended the kiss and he leaned his forehead against yours while his hands wrapped around yours. "Don't ever think about leaving me again and don't make me out to be crazy for wanting you."

What am I supposed to do with you, little snowflake, now that you don't melt away? "All right, Coryo, I won't." You just replied and saw no point in arguing with him anymore. You knew him well enough to know how possessive and dominant he could get. However, you liked him more when he was dependent on you and sought your approval. "But be good and a little nicer to me, will you?" You said and squeezed his hands. "Because if I wanted some stupid man who was full of himself, I'd go to my husband."

He nodded quickly, giving in easily now that it was clear that he had you. "Of course, anything you want. I'll do anything you want." He spoke and took your hand in his up to place a kiss on it. "All you have to do is ask for it."

Coriolanus would take care of your useless husband. You wouldn't need him when you were going to marry him soon.

[starcurtain]

Your post about Alhaitham, Aranara lore, and the issue of fandoms confusing canon with social media promotion was so good!

I have some questions. I only entered the fandom a year ago, and I still haven't caught up on all the events I missed (though I am caught up on archon quests and most character quests). If you have time, could you please share any other examples you have of people popularizing a headcanon and pretending like it's canon?

I have a theory of one. I've noticed a lot of fics portraying Kaeya, Rosaria, and Venti are all drinking buddies at Angel's Share. And as much as I love the idea, I'm not sure I can find a canon source for this. I made a post asking about this once, and the only thing anyone gave me was that cutscene towards the end of the first Windblume. But that only shows Kaeya and Rosaria drinking together; Venti isn't there. Am I right that the three of them being drinking buddies is just fanon?

Thank you!!

I admittedly started playing Genshin a little later than some, so I missed out on many of the original Mondstadt events. Although I've tried to catch up on them via cutscenes and summaries, there are some nuances I'm surely missing, so it's a bit harder for me to judge based on earlier stuff. However, it seems fairly unlikely that Venti and Kaeya are actually good drinking buddies, for a couple reasons:

Even when they are in the same bar, they don't even speak directly to each other, let alone drink together. During Jean's birthday event, both Venti and Kaeya come to Jean's party at the Angel's Share, but once the alcohol starts flowing, Venti sits at the bar with Diluc, while Kaeya goes off to drink in the corner by himself.

Presumably, if they were actual drinking buddies, they would have sat together.

There's also the fact that Kaeya and Venti's relationship seems to be somewhat catty, especially earlier in Genshin's story.

In the 1.4 Windblume event, Paimon literally says that Venti and Kaeya's conversation has devolved into a "coercion contest" where they're both trying to get the better of each other. It's not aggressive and it's largely played for jokes, but it's also not Genshin's typical "I'll do anything for you because you're my friend" level of niceness.

Even way back in the 1.4 Windblume, there are some lines, especially from Kaeya, that are very loaded (and Venti gets his own digs in too lol):

I, for one, think it's pretty much impossible that Kaeya hasn't known Venti's identity all along; Kaeya's entire early character hinges around just knowing way the hell more than anyone else in Mondstadt (with little explanation for how, in some cases). With that in mind, Kaeya--a Khaenri'ahn--asking Venti--an archon--if he's willing to take Kaeya on as a student is a pretty heavy statement.

This scene leads into the one where Kaeya (supposedly) writes a poem in hilichurlian that could be read as a threat toward Venti. There's some debate whether that is actually true and whether Kaeya intended it that way, but the ambiguity still suggests Kaeya knows Venti's true identity and is, at the very least, testing the waters and pushing the envelop to see how far Barbatos will tolerate an "enemy" in his territory.

Even all the way to Kaeya's hangout, Venti and Kaeya's interactions are definitely sarcastic and a bit (humorously) snide, with Kaeya unsubtly using the fact that he knows Venti's secret identity to manipulate Venti into helping with the choir project. (Venti gets his digs here too though, reminding Kaeya about the hate poem he so "kindly" wrote back in 1.4 lol!)

Kaeya even goes out of his way to bring Diona to the song-writing efforts, specifically to trigger Venti's cat allergy and force Venti into having to deal with song lyrics about hating alcohol. 😂

So, up until at least this hangout, I'd say that Kaeya really didn't have too great of a relationship with Venti. He wasn't directly antagonistic to him or anything, but they definitely didn't come across as close friends, and there were enough blatant hints to suggest that Kaeya doesn't view himself as a follower of Mondstadt's archon.

It seems likely (to me at least) that Kaeya would have inherited a natural standoffishness toward archons in general alongside his father's huge expectations that Kaeya serve as Khaenri'ah's hope, a blend of "I'm supposed to hate you because I know what you did to my country" and "I'm uncomfortable that you know my true identity; you might take action against me like the archons took action against Khaenri'ahns in the past." I don't think Kaeya ever actually personally hated Venti, but there is a tension between himself and Venti that isn't necessarily present in Kaeya's other connections (Albedo, Klee, Jean, Lisa, etc.) throughout Mondstadt.

On Venti's side, I think that people forget that Venti is incredibly sensitive to the feelings of the people of Mondstadt and does literally everything in his power to ensure that his people live joyous, free, and happy lives. He clearly knows of Kaeya's background--and probably even his situation with still lingering connections to Khaenri'ah and the Abyss--so I find it extremely unlikely that Venti would have asserted himself in Kaeya's space and tried to force a friendship with someone who would have good reason to distrust archons. I think he would have respected Kaeya's need for distance and avoided trying to get too close.

However, being the incredible sweetheart that he is (the best archon of them all, FIGHT ME), Venti ends this branch of Kaeya's hangout with a truly heartwarming message:

This is Venti literally telling Kaeya "I know you're not a believer, and I know you're struggling with your loyalties between Khaenri'ah and Mondstadt. I know you're still not really sure what your destiny is and into what darkness it might lead you--but at the end of your journey, I will be here to welcome you home."

Venti tells Kaeya that Kaeya is a son of Mondstadt and that the Anemo Archon loves and will protect him just as he loves and protects every one of his true people.

So no, I don't think we have any reliable evidence in game that Kaeya and Venti are actually drinking buddies up to this point in the story--however, I think it's possible we could see this change in the future! Kaeya just needs to know (and accept!) that he is loved!

...As for other instances of fanon replacing canon, this post is already long enough, so I'll save them for another day. Someone ask me about what I think of the fanon surrounding Kaeya and Diluc's situation or something, I guess! 😆

[plusvanity]

Do you have any analysis/opinions on Fenriz?

Generally speaking, everybody loves Fenriz because he is a humble, funny guy and has a picture with a cat in his arms. This is kind of all you need for good PR nowadays, but jokes aside, I see Fenriz as sitting on fences and picking sides (between Øystein and Varg) whenever the circumstances suit his image better. He is a bit of an opportunist from what I see.

He talked greatly about Øystein, calling him the 'anchor' of the Black Metal movement, which is indeed true. He had the chance to go to a Mayhem rehearsal session from what I remember, and he was very impressed about it. So much so that his band Darkthrone sounded like a washed-out version of Mayhem in the early 90s. I don't judge that. He was young, and he found himself in what Øystein and Pelle initiated, so this shows how devoted he actually was to this genre. Øystein was a mentor for many, including Fenriz, of course. He lived very close to Helvete, so he was quite lucky to interact with his friend and mentor so much, but after Øystein's death, it seems like things got in a different direction.

I think he must have been the 'easily impressed' type because I cannot find another way to explain how he started taking Varg's side. And of course, Varg took advantage of that aspect and talked nicely about Fenriz in interviews and on his personal blog where he called everyone from the early scene a 'rat', everyone expect Fenriz. Why? I assume that Fenriz spoiled Varg in compliments in a lot of their early interactions. After all, Vikernes stated that only him and Fenriz were 'preserving' the Norwegian culture by writing lyrics in their mother tongue and it was only Fenriz who got him and his political views.

Narcissists do that a lot. They will protect their source of narcissistic supply by talking nicely and praising you, but it's expected for you to do the same and take their side whenever a finger is pointed at them. Not all narcissists do that, but Varg surely did. This type of behaviour is self-implied, it doesn't need a conversation, and this is what they do even now. 'I will put you in a good light, but I expect the same'. You see, relationships and friendships with a narcissist (Varg) are all transactional. A lot of 'payback' is silently expected.

There was a time in which he was very vocal about praising Burzum and Varg, like they would be in some kind of brotherhood. He ranted about him in interviews, talked about how great of a musician he is and how they live in Tolkien's fantasy world etc, etc.

The first reason for wanting so much to associate himself with Vikernes is admiration.

The second reason, and this one tends to be less noticeable for some people, is marketing. Burzum exploded in notoriety after Varg got in jail for murder and the so-called 'satanists' were more feared than ever. It is obvious that if you want to 'get a taste' of fame and maximize your band profit, you will (one way or another) associate yourself with the most popular and controversial individual at the time.

Fenriz, like many others, tries to remain relevant in a scene that is dying out, unfortunately. His strategy is different than others, but the outcome is the same.

I'm not saying he is a bad person, that you should hate him or anything like this. I just present things as I see them.

I don't think that he is just as underhanded and shady as Varg, but I'm not a big fan of him either.

Anyway, this is my take in him.

[sciderman]

Sci what's your opinion on Cablepool? What's holding them back, why can't they just bite the bullet and go for it? In your comics it seems like Nate's all in, so what's the problem?

short answer: it's complicated

as much as wade would like it to be so very uncomplicated

[x]

bad communication on both sides, me thinks.

i think the main thing for me that's the most important thing that makes wade and peter work where nate and wade fail is the balance of power! i think in wade's relationships as a whole there's often an unfair power dynamic because - not only does wade often feel unworthy, he's often in relationships with characters that literally overpower him. shiklah, ness and nate are all crazy freaky powerful, and even carmelita was domineering over wade.

historically, wade's always with very dominating partners who kind of want to control him. even nate - with all his best intentions - wanting to change wade for the better. i think it's why peter's breech of wade's trust during the break-up stung so much. he's tired of being constantly policed and judged and controlled in his relationships.

the theme of control is so prominent in the cable & deadpool series. it's everywhere. even in the costuming. the harness? the choker? y

LOOOOOAAAAADED.

(it's why when the popular demand for the choker to return won out, i had to give peter one too. for me the choker will always be loaded with metaphor. and the balance of power between wade and peter is so, so important to me.)

i've joked a little about how in most of 9319 wade's relationships prior to peter, he kind of exclusively bottomed. peter's the first male relationship where wade's been on top at all (save for bob. but there was no penetracíoné in that arrangement.) so this is all new territory for wade. he's never been in a relationship like this one before, where it's a mutual give-and-receive, and peter is just as emotionally vulnerable as he is.

in fact - you're more often to see peter wearing his choker than wade, because more often than not wade's in the position of power - power that's only granted to him by withholding his emotions, and peter often feels powerless with wade because of it.

wade's coming to terms with that - how much power he actually holds over peter. i think it kind of takes him aback constantly, because he's so used to being the fragile party in his previous relationships, and it's made him all the more guarded.

(it's also why he expects something sinister. peter's hiding something. there's no way this boy is actually this soft and well-intentioned. surely peter's somehow still holding the cards.)

fact is, neither of them are holding the cards. they've dropped the cards all over the floor and neither of them want to pick them up and they're both going to cry about it.

sorry - i got sidetracked. ough. cable. right. that's what we're here about.

the theme of power and control is so, so at the forefront of the cable and deadpool series. it's kind of always a see-saw of wade trying to navigate morally complex situations and nathan constantly interfering to sway him this way or that - and you're left questioning whether wade's really learning anything, or if nate just tricked him again.

the fact is, nathan wants to play saviour for wade. wants to save him. nathan has a god complex, and oftentimes messing with wade's free will in attempts to teach him a moral lesson.

nate wants to be wade's saviour, but wade doesn't need a saviour. wade needs to save himself.

in the end-up with the cable & deadpool series there is a resolution for wade, and it proves that wade did grow beyond just seeking nate's approval. (which he does, tirelessly.)

in the end-up, nathan's gone. and wade still steps up, in nate's stead. he doesn't need nate to be there anymore, holding his hand.

i think it's something the series could've done better - i think nate's kind of a jerk who's redeemed by self-sacrifice and i'm not about that. so while 616 wade's all sentimental about it in canon - 9319 wade is not so sweet about it at all.

9319 wade differs from 616 in that he stays salty. he doesn't learn a lesson. he stays needy and selfish and mad - mostly sad. i think i like that in characterisations of wade - that actually, he's not a hero. and he doesn't have to be. he's selfish. we all are. we don't have to save the world. sometimes it's enough to just survive it. i think that's what wade embodies, to me.

i don't think - practically - nate could've been everything wade wanted from him (what with all his gargantuan responsibilities and self-sacrificial tendencies etc. etc.) and wade, realistically, can't match nate's hopes for him either. he relapses practically every time nate leaves him, and his progress resets constantly because he's consistently hit with brick wall after brick wall of overpowered messiah bullshit that makes him feel inept and undeserving.

wade might want so very badly to be deserving of nate's love and approval, but the heroic stuff isn't built into his fibre. it's just not.

i can't stress it enough. wade does not want to be a hero. he just wants to suck and fuck and retire to the bahamas with the man of his dreams. he's a simple man.

the only reason he even tries playing hero is for the promise of love.

he does not want to have to prove himself over and over and over again to be worthy.

for god's fucking SAKE can't a guy just suck and fuck and retire to the bahamas with his loving boyfriend without having to fucking save the world every week! what the fuck! what is wrong with this fucking economy!!

in that way - nate just can't give wade the companionship he needs. nate has way too many responsibilties weighing on his massive shoulder pads. nate is always going to be making sacrifices. it's in his nature. but wade - wade's constantly losing what he loves, non-voluntarily. he's sick of the sacrifice. he doesn't want to lose anymore.

for once, wade just wants his fucking happily ever after.

[britt-kageryuu]

The result of a funny thought after watching a video. I don't know what I'm talking about in this, the idea was just funny.

----------------

April was slightly annoyed, but still excited as she enters the building in front of her which pushing a rolling cart with a carrier on top.

The building was hosting a Cat Show.

Mikey had heard about it and wanted to enter Sunny, but couldn't get the day off, too many people wanted that day off already. The others had similar schedule problems, and/or they had streaming obligations on top of that.

So he begged April to go in his place. So here she was,entering a cat show as a favor for her Little Brother, who now owes her a Gourmet Lunch Bento everyday for 2 weeks.

She approached the checkin area to ask what she needs to do.

"Name, Breed, and category?" Asked the Receptionist.

April for a second almost said her own name, but caught herself, "This is Sunny, she's a Short Hair, and the category House Cat. She's my brothers cat, but he couldn't get the time off since he just learned about Cat Shows recently." April relays as she fills out the necessary papers, and whatnot.

"Okay, here's your number, just keep your ears and eyes out for when your group is called for judging." The Receptionist says while handing April a couple packets of information, and points toward the room where people were setting up their waiting area.

April gets to her table, and sets up the little popup tent with a letter tray, cat bed, and some small toys. All while giving Sunny pets, treats, and making sure her bandana/collar was on properly. It had one of the 2 or 3 tracking devices in it, you can never be too careful.

The day goes on with April talking with others there, all showing off their cats, showing videos or pictures of said cats, and talking about how things work.

Sunny is fairly popular among, getting lots of compliments, and requests for pictures. Some asking about the lovely feline.

And April would tell them, "My Brother found her after she somehow got into the car in a closed garage. We took her to the vet, clean bill of health, but she had no chip. And after not finding any missing cat posters, or getting responses for our Found Cat. So We kept Sunny and the rest is history. My Little Bro believes it was the cat distribution system choosing us."

Things of course got a bit tense when it was time to bring the cats up for one of the multiple rounds of judging. Some people were more dramatic, and claiming bribery when their Precious Kitty didn't get any ribbons.

April just tried to keep her cool, and be glad that Cass and CJ were to busy to join her, though sadly Sunita was at a family event so had to opt out of this event.

"Is it always like watching one of those kids pageant shows? Or am I just 'Lucky' to witness this drama?" She asked one of her table neighbors while sending an update to Mikey about how things are going.

"Well, it's not always this dramatic, but it happens pretty often. Why did you ask if you were 'Lucky'?" One of them who had a Maincoon.

April sighs with a flat look, "I was known for my weird Luck in school. Once had the sprinkler above me go off, and it was the only one to go off."

Her table neighbors were trying to tell if she was joking or not, but gave her the benefit of the doubt.

Once the next few rounds were done, and the final Judgment. Sunny now proudly had a ribbon, but let's not elaborate on which color or place it was for. They were all proud of Sunny anyway.

----------------------

Masterpost

I was recommended a video of someone going to a Cat Show for the first time, and remembered that they existed. Then thought 'Any Mikey with a cat would want to enter them in one, but then remember the turtle thing... then ask April for Help'.

But I don't know how Cat Shows work, so I just kinda worked off the video I watched, and some of the comments under it.

[chattercap]

MindMindMind Postmortem - Exploring Social Anxiety (with a hot British ghost)

Hello everyone, it's Chattercap!

I'm honestly flabbergasted and incredibly touched that so many people have not only given MindMindMind a try, but also left such kind thoughts and comments! (The game has been out for just over a month and has received well over half the plays and ratings of my most popular game, which has been out for almost a YEAR at this point…)

I first came up with the idea for the game last year, when I was working my 2023 Otome Jam project, Karamu! I was chatting with my friend lenlen (who is a wonderful dev who makes games that are even more heartfelt than MMM, please give them a try!) when I came up with the idea of "what if anxiety…was a yandere?" (I mostly proposed this because len is not the biggest fan of yans, haha!) It was mainly a joke, but the more I thought about it the more I liked the concept.

At first when I thought about anxiety, I thought I would make him a very creepy, scary person. Maybe someone like Sadako from the Ring: someone who just tries to terrify you for no reason. But then I reconsidered the concept. After all, we don’t feel anxiety for no reason, do we? Anxiety isn’t just out to make our lives harder. In fact, it derives from gut instincts that are supposed to help our survival: fear about fitting in, fear about the future, etc. So I came up with Geist: a well-dressed, well-intentioned, over-protective man that ruins your life with his presence. He’s cruel, but he “means well”—after all, if he’s not a little mean, you won’t really understand, will you?

As a definitive answer for “what is Geist?” Geist is, of course, at least partially a metaphor for anxiety. However, he’s also meant to reflect an abusive relationship, one where the abuser isolates you and makes you dependent on them. He’s somewhat based on toxic friendships that I’ve had in the past with people who casually put me down and encouraged my isolating behavior (maybe because it made them feel better about themselves, or maybe because they wanted to make sure that I always had time for them, and no one else).

However, if you do want a “not strictly metaphorical answer,” here’s the canon one: Geist was a child who attended your middle school many years ago. At the time, he was socially awkward and ostracized from his peers, and he died at an early age. Since then, he haunted the school, not quite able to overcome his regrets of never experiencing real friendship—and when he saw you, he recognized a kindred spirit. He grew attached to you and started haunting you, offering you “advice” based on his own experiences. He’s convinced that being alone is better for you (and he’s afraid that you’ll no longer need him).

As for Kalei, I really did want him to be the perfect guy to get the MC’s anxious butt out of their shell. He’s chill and outgoing; he never judges you or takes things too seriously. He’s rabidly nerdy about the exact same things that you’re nerdy about. But at the same time, he has anxieties of his own. He grew up on the islands, and college is the first time he’s ever spent a long time away from home. He quickly found a close friend group at university, but he doesn’t quite click with them, not completely. He worries about how he acts sometimes, and he doesn’t want to come across as overbearing. I think that when you’re anxious, it’s easy to focus on yourself: you’re the weirdest one in the room, everyone is looking at you because of how strange you are. But everyone gets nervous, even outgoing guys like Kalei. Everyone struggles sometimes. (You’re not alone, even if it feels like it, haha!)

MindMindMind is a little different from what I usually put out, partially because it's so mired in my own experience. It’s obviously not a 1:1, and the protagonist differs from myself in some fairly significant ways, but a lot of the thoughts and insecurities presented are thoughts that I’ve had in the past. It was a little strange, delving into my “old self” like this. In some ways, it was like standing in the mind of a stranger, but in other ways, it felt like I hadn’t changed at all. Writing Kalei’s ending was quite cathartic—that’s what I wish would happen. I wish that anxiety was a guy, standing in front of me, so that I could tell him to leave me the hell alone. But it’s not, and the process of overcoming anxiety isn’t that clean. Some days are good, and some days are bad. Some days you can see how far you’ve come, and some days it feels like you’ve been standing in place for months. But…it gets better. And it’s going to be all right.

I’ve got quite a few projects lined up this year! I’ll admit that my games are pretty varied in terms of genre and concept, but they’ve all got my “flair” to them, so I hope they’re enjoyable nonetheless! My next project is Actala: The Hero’s Shadow, a big fantasy/mystery romance game set in a magical world rife with political strife. After that, I’ve got 3-5 projects lined up for the rest of 2024 (fingers crossed that I can get most of them done). I have two yandere projects, Hanasu - the last part of the Karamu trilogy about a girl’s clingy ex-boyfriend, and an unnamed fantasy themed game featuring…a female LI this time! Get ready for some toxic yuri shenanigans! The project that is most similar(?) to MindMindMind is planned for winter! It’s a contemporary drama that also deals with issues of mental health (and particularly with suicidal ideation); it’ll center around themes of mortality. It’s a ways off so I’m not quite ready to formally announce it, but if you’re interested in seeing updates (about this or any of my other projects), I post most of my major announcements on here and Twitter. I also post frequently on my Patreon with sketches, writing snippets, sneak peeks, high resolution art, and weekly devlogs.

Thank you again to everyone who supported this project - the beta testers, the VAs who collaborated with me, my game dev friends, and, of course, the players. I hope to see you again for another project!

Chattercap

[silent-raven13]

You guys!

Pav rushes to his friends with crazy news: Oh my Brahman, did you guys saw Peter Parker?

Gwen looks at Miles and Hobie: Peter B. Parker from Earth 616B

Pav: No, um.. Peter Parker umm he likes to call himself, Petie from Earth 2010

Miles: Ohhh, hmm. Yeah, I saw him bringing a cute baby girl. -Hobie slouching on his partner while listening-

Gwen nodded: Ohh that one. You know when you say Peter Parker... it's kinda hard to know which one when -they are surrounded by a lot of varieties of Peter Parker-

Pav: Right! My bad! Should've been clearer- Anyway, turns out that Peter's kid actually came from Peter.

His fiends: ....

Gwen: Pav, it takes-

Pav: No, I mean- Petie is from the Omegaverse! He's an Omega! That''s his baby! -Gwen's and Miles' eyes widen-

Hobie arched his eyebrows: What? What the bloody hell is an Omega? And what universe is that?

Miles stammering: Well- you see- it's when...

Gwen place a hand on Miles' back: I got this. I'm sort of a pro on this stuff. -she went over to lean against Hobie being casual- Ya see, the Omegaverse is... -she told him everything-

Hobie: WHAT IN THE HELL? You joking, aren't you Gwendy? -his eyes widen in shock.-

Miles shook his head: Nope, it's true. I didn't think it was a real universe...

Gwen: I mean, we're here. Anything is possible!

Pav nodded: Right, I reacted the same thing when Gwen told me!

Hobie looks at Miles: How did you know this?

Miles pressed his lips being shy: Well... you know I love my anime and shows... and Me and Ganke likes to make comics. Sometimes I read fan fiction and... omega verse is a popular genre.

Gwen laughs: I read it too! You know when you want to male pregnancy in the story. it's the best ways to write it in.

Hobie saw Miles being bashful: That's insane? A man getting pregnant? So this Peter pushes out a kid?

Pav nodded: Turns out his MJ is an Alpha! So, she actually had some sort of penis and sticks it into Petie, right? -he turns to Gwen because that part still confuses him-

Gwen: Depending on their world Omegaverse. Some female Alpha's clit grows into a penis when it's heat season and stick it into an Omega and boom! Pregnancy!

Hobie: That's-that's... -he was too in shock-

Miles: The ones I read never mention women being Alphas mostly Betas.

Gwen: You know fangirls always write for the men. -she sighs- I'm curious too. Should we ask Petie?

Pav: I don't think so. He's pretty sensitive. He had to go to Miguel to inform some sort of harassment report, because one Spiderman touched his swollen chest.

Miles: That's so messed up. I should go check on him. I'm sure he must feel very upset. Come, Hobie. -Hobie can't complain nor judge-

Petie aka Peter Parker from Earth 2010 in Miguel's office having to sit on a chair while feeding his pup.

Petie: Thanks again, Miguel. I- um... appreciate it.

Miguel busy on the platform: It's fine, Parker. I will informed the Spiderman that harassed you. You can request absent if you want.

Petie: No, I'm okay. Just trying to get use to being Spiderman after nine months plus the three months of taking care of my pup. -he coos at his little girl who busy drinking his milk-

Miguel saw the omega being a bit nervous coming to their headquarters seeing how many Spiderpeople judge him. He only brought the omega onto their cause because he's such a good spiderman. Shame, how people are quick to judge. As Spiderfolks they should know better.

Normally, Miguel would walk around the Omega trying to make him feel safe, or at least calm down. The large Spiderman had a special spray that contains an Alpha scent that helps relax Petie.

Petie slight chuckle: I didn't expect people to give me looks when i hold May. I thought it would be normal... -his voice sad and weak-

Miguel place a hand on the Spiderman's shoulder: No es tu culpa. You are doing what is normal in your world. You have a beautiful pup. -his red eyes looking at the little baby-

Petie smiles widely: Thank you, Miggy. -teary eye- means a lot.

Miguel: Puedes quedarte aquí todo lo que quieras! You can stay here all you want.

Little May mumbles being finished with her meal. Petie smiles: Thanks, looks like she's done.

Then the main front door slightly open with Gwen's head peaking in: Um... Mr. O'Hara? Can we come in?

Miguel looks up: What is it, Stacy?

Miles peaks in: Um... we heard what happen to Petie. We want to check if he's okay!

Pav peaks in as well: We brought lunch for him!

Hobie sticks his head too while carrying Miles: And water!

Miles: Aye! Hobie put me down! -his boyfriend ignores him-

Petie smiles: It's fine, Miguel.

Miguel: Very well. Okay, come on in. -since when his place is for hang outs? Then again, he didn't think this place was a safe space-

The young Spiderheroes happily walk in, well Hobie carries Miles. They saw Petie, Peter Parker; who has sandy brunette hair color, and green eyes. He's face more fuller than the Peter, they knew, and much more softer, but that's what happens when you're an Omega.

Pav: We wanted to check if you were okay! I saw the Spiderman was making jokes when you walked away. Kinda messed up. I wish I was there early...

Gwen handed Petie the take out box: We got you burgers and fries...

Petie: Thanks, kiddos. I'm glad there's some good Spiderfolks around here. It's been hard since Omegas are always being treated differently. I mean, Alpha Peter parker from Earth 2010B get all the praise.

Pav: There's an Alpha Peter? -his mouth dropped in shock-

Miguel grunts: There's many of them on and about in these headquarters. They come in different times to avoid using their pheromones on each other.

Petie laughs: And that you don't fight with him. Alpha Peter tends to challenge Mig a lot of the time.

Hobie grins: I like the sound of that.

Miles playfully slap his partner: Hobie!

Hobie: What? It's good for someone to challenge leadership.

Miguel: Alpha Peter is chaotic and ruthless. Having him as a leader would be a great mistake, Brown! -his voice serious and annoyed-

Miles: If he's as bad... then Alpha Miguel might be worst, huh?

Miguel: I dunno. I never bothered to look for him for the same reason. he's out there somewhere. -like hell he would bring that one into their headquarters-

Petie: It's not good having so many Alphas around. -He cover his chest with special Omega shirt for breastfeeding- Time to burp May. -His daughter had a Amber wavy hair color than Mayday.-

Pav gasps: Looks at her little booties! Oh my gosh! Those toes are so tiny! Ahh -He giggles at the baby's size- She's so cute!

May whines trying to sleep but her dad softly pats her back as she let out a small burp: There. There, pup. I got you. -he saw Miles- Aren't you an Omega?

Miles looks around then pointed at himself: Me?

Petie: Your not?

Miles: Wait, why me?

Gwen and Pav softly giggling. Miguel arched his eyebrows being nosy in the conversation instead of working.

Miles: No, I'm not. Why?

Petie: I thought he was your Alpha... I've seen you two and Hobie, right? -Hobie nodded at his name- Is always protecting you. It's very Alpha... and you always smell sweet, too. I figure you were an Omega.

Miles' mouth dropped: Is it cause I were my mango Shea Butter!

Gwen laughs: See told ya, you would be an Omega!

Hobie: Me an Alpha. huh? -he likes that idea- I can get you pregnant!

Miles' face felt so warm: You can't be serious!

Hobie: Come on, luv. Me and you with a litter!

Petie laughs: See Alpha material.

Pav laughs: I can totally picture that!

Miguel: Aye, no pregnancy talk. It's bad enough we had three Peter Parkers already impregnating their MJs at sixteen! Coño wear a damn condom!

Gwen: Hey, we are 18 years old, Miguel! -she puff her chest out being offended- If Miles want kids now... let him!

Miles scoffs: Excuse me! I didn't say anything. Hobie, put me down! -his boyfriend carrying him-

Hobie: No, never letting my Omega go! -his new petname-

Petie only laughs: Sorry, Miles. I thought it you two were part of the Omegaverse.

Miguel shook his head: These fucking kids. -he went over to help Petie with May. So the omega can eat his lunch in peace. Miguel holds the pup being careful- Hey, you guys keep it down. May needs to sleep!

Pav: And you're being an Alpha too, huh!

Miguel grunts as he gently rubs the small pup's back: Shh, she's sleeping.

Gwen giggles: Miguel is always to the rescue with kids. Hey, Miles maybe you can have him babysit yours.

Miles pouts: Not funny. -Hobie kisses his cheek.-

Hobie: My Omega! -kisses-

(Part 2)

[gaemms-chamois]

random unorganized darknights trio + paprika musings bc sometimes i'm hit with like a pang of Brief Worry that i'm completely misinterpreted blabla that usually doesn't last too long bc i then go back to my state of I'm Just Vibing but ig at some point i just gotta let it out publicly once and be done with it lol

this is messily written Please Understand this isn't meant to be a grand thought piece

fuuuck ok well this is like very specifically abt the w, ines & paprika part now

like don't get me wrong on this. i joke abt wines moms and stuff but i dont genuinely mean it in the way of wahh wow littol family for reals kinda deal?

less on wines 'adopting' paprika, moreso paprika imprinting on them like a duckling after she was saved by them. paprika adopted them lmao. i cannot possibly interpret either w or ines as Maternal in such a way.

it's moreso that i think it's nice that this little sarkaz merc became part of the story, a girl who all her life since she was infected at a young age, was presented with becoming a mercenary being basically the only option for her.

and then, as annoying as w can be, being shown that she does have different options.

i just think it's sweet that paprika, judging by her voicelines, clearly looks up to w and ines. which is just amplified by the fact that w and ines are notoriously not the most popular people on rhodes lol. and she calls w annoying but still keeps knitting stuff and wanting to gift food to her. like if she often seeks out w and ines to tell them how well she did on something, when they are on the ship, etc. that'd at least indicate that those two humor her.

ALSO IT'S UNOFFICIAL BUT SHOUTOUT TO THAT LITTLE CHUZENJI ART WITH PAPRIKA AND W, INES & TOTTER WEARING KNITTED HATS SO CUTE

OKAY WOO DARKNIGHTS MERCENARY TRIO AND STUFF

cool yeah obviously i fucking love them. i'm not very good at words though and i tend to keep my more elaborate thoughts to just discussions between friends who know how i tick djsfhdfs

just the other day i was smiling to myself during a walk bc holy shit all three are actually playable now and that's not just wishful thinking anymore. anyway chapter 13 also happened and more stuff with the trio happened and Cool Lots of things Happening and my brain is full

they're so found family to me, like in an utterly unconventional way. i mean c'mon with how they act sometimes like- ykno. but like have y'all seen the new furniture set and descriptions that came with hoederer's release it made me go insanse.

but i think especially in ines' case it just kinda highlights that best. considering ines' arts can figure people out (putting that in rather vague terms), it truly means something when someone with her capabilities and temperament has people she chooses to stick by and actually trust. even if she pretends she doesn't by verbally denying it.

like waugh Okay they have a lot to unpack and shit but with them being reunited (take that, W file that said W needs companionship but her friends aren't around anymore) and having a COMPARATIVELY more ""relaxed"" life than before (that one Hoederer file where he just has rather regular days on rhodes), it's just nice to imagine they can finally have something better and figure stuff out. as complicated as the three of them are.

with that said i think it's a given that i despise a nuclear family treatment of the three (aka mom ines, dad hoederer, daughter w).

for one with me being highly doubtful w was a kid/teen at the start of darknights (young? sure, but not that young), which just seems like such a...widespread belief that i really do not get? arknights always put a LOT of emphasis on when a character's story was about them being a kid, 0 of that with w. like something about her expression and big cloak just gave people some different impression, even though she literally keeps looking the same aside from a change of clothes. only instance of w being called a kid during that time i can think of is that one boiler worker in her files but that seems way more like any typical old guy calling anyone on the younger side a kid. hell, even hoederer was called young in darknights, like in a sarkaz's lifespan i can believe that.

and also...hoederer had somewhat of a mentor-like role for w, but if anyone tries to tell me ines ever acted maternal towards w i will chew through your walls. read through darknights memoir and actually pay attention to ines, both w AND ines were pettyass women and they made that so very clear. cannot fathom how anyone can see ines as having been motherly towards w

seriously just feels like a case of Well there is man and there is woman....and this other character so clearly these are mom, dad and kid.

that's not even me being biased towards w/ines, just how i objectively see it. hell, i even ENJOY ines/hoederer, but my enjoyment of it is limited bc for some reason ppl like to make it weird by shoving w in as some daughter. i promise it's completely possible to like ines/hoederer without trying to fit in w as a kid figure

anyways yeah like cool i like these characters I Guess. Look at them

[unseriousmamba]

Review of Six Flags: Magic Mountain Rides!!

Once upon a time when I was probably nine years old I visited this park for the first time. I finally had the opportunity to revist it and it's many, many wonderful rollercoasters this past November!! Here is my impression of the park and the attractions I was able to ride while there.

Unfortunately, a few popular rides were closed: Goliath was in the process of being repainted, and Superman Escape from Krypton was closed too. The Justice League: Battle for Metropolis dark ride was also closed, but I have ridden that ride at other parks before and you will find my review of that ride for that park when it comes out. We also did not ride Batman: The Ride because we only had so much time and it is pretty much the same ride at every Six Flags. I can't remember if it was open or not, but I wasn't particularly interested in riding The Ninja, so we didn't do that one either. I remember it being fun when I was younger, but I was also disappointed by a similar ride The Bat, at King's Island. Also please note that while I did take pictures at every attraction we rode, Tumblr limited me to 10 images per post, so I picked the 10 most important one for me. With that in mind, let's jump into Magic Mountain!!

The New Revolution / Classic Revolution

I'm still not sure what to call this thing, the signage was a bit confusing. Someone please help!!

This ride was amazing, especially given its age! (Built in 1976, my father joked things that old should be buried. He was born in 1973.) It is also the first steel rollercoaster to feature a vertical loop. (source) I was scared this would be a rough one, but I was wrong. I get more beat up on much more modern steel coasters! This ride is pretty slow, but in a good way. You get to see all the trees that have grown up around it. I've been on similar oldies, and none have been as enjoyable as this. It made for a great start to the day!

The Viper

Built in 1990, this ride is older than myself, and according to my dad, runs just like how The Orient Express did at World's of Fun. They took that ride out the year before i was tall enough, so now having ridden this, I can say I much prefer the coaster that replaced it. Which is a sad thing to say, because I had always heartbroken that I didn't get to ride the Orient Express. Unfortunately, The Viper hurt. I knocked my head on it twice. It's faster than the revolution, but speed doesn't always matter. I'm sure some people really enjoy it, or maybe I'm getting to old for rough rides? I usually judge a ride based on if I would be comfortable riding it again in the same day, and this is certainly not one of those rides.

West Coast Racers

Awesome launch coaster with a sneaky twist!You get to race against another coaster, and after the race, you end up arriving at the launch of the second coaster! Basically you get to ride it twice, on both the right and left track. It's smooth and while not very big, it is pretty fast and the turns are very satisfying! The theming was also pretty nice.

Jet Stream

My dad was very excited to ride this one, lmao. It's a standard flume ride, but it's abit faster and more aggressive than most I have been on. We rode this in November and while and while I didn't hardly get splashed at all, I was wearing wide bottom cargo jeans and the bottom of said jeans ended up getting dipped in the water that was already in the boat. 💀 Other than it was very fun! I loved the drops and faster pace of this ride compared to say, The Viking Voyager at Worlds of Fun.

Gold Rusher

This was a cute and fun kiddie coaster! The lap bar didn't restrain me much, and there was no seat belt so i felt myself sliding around a ton, but still very exciting! The turning descent at the end was the ride's best element, similar to Thunderation at Silver Dollar City.

X2

If you aren't riding X2 like you're giving birth, are you really riding X2? I slammed my calves hard on the seat, but otherwise it was very trippy and fun; terrifying even. It's nothing like other wing coasters I've been on, but is perhaps most like THE JOKER at Six Flags Great Adventure in that it will make you fear for anything you may have foolishly decided to keep in your pocket. DON'T RIDE WITH PERSONAL BELONGINGS. You will lose them and your head too! /hj I don't usually include a ride's location into my rating of it, but my god the location of this rollercoaster is BAD. It's easy to get a view of it when you drive in, but my god it is infuriating to walk to. It is completely out of the way of everything and not anywhere near a restroom either (this will come up again later for another ride, too). Other than that, fantastic as hell!

Full Throttle

A very fun launch-start coaster!! The ride operator was pretty funny. He said we'd be launching soon and then sent us off immediately. By the time we had got on I had completely forgotten that it has 3 launches, so the second two were a big surprise. The 2nd launch sends you back up the track you'd just come from, and then the 3rd launch kicks in immediately after, sending you over the hill you initially looped through. that loop btw? Sick as hell. It's also incredibly smooth. You need to put your hands up for that. At the end of the ride the operators always recommend you get on another ride, whatever they can think of on the spot. At Full Throttle the operator suggested Wonder Woman, which was closed at the time. 🤪 I will say it did have a technical issue that we had to wait through, a group got stuck on the other side of the first launch. Given that there didn't seem to be a huge delay or concern, I get the feeling that might happen pretty often. Please let me know if it does!

The Riddler's Revenge

I have a question: who thought it would be a good idea to make customers wait for twenty minutes in line and then stand an additional 3 minutes and market it as a feature??? As far was standing rollercoasters go, it was fine. But personally, I hate standing rollercoasters so I'm gonna be pretty biased here. If you are the kind of person who is even a little bit picky about ride comfort you will hate this. It jostles your head. These rides always put so much pressure on my bikini line and feet. It's a bit like riding a very uncomfortable bicycle. If you don't mind the discomfort for the sake of the gimmick, it is fast and has some great turns and good speed. I won't be riding it again.

Wonder Woman: Flight of Courage

This was my favorite ride of the day! We were very lucky we got on because it opened at about 4pm and the park closed at 6pm. We had spent the entire day checking ride times and closures, and too see that it had finally opened after showing no signs of life made my whole fucking day. 🌈 The turns were very satisfying! I got to ride in the front seat and it was amazing, although the people who let us sit in the front let us cut them because they wanted to sit in the back, so if I have another chance to ride, I will definitely give the back of the ride a go too! It was very smooth and the hang time was fantastic. I want to ride it again right now.

Twisted Collosus

This was my dad's favorite ride of the day! It was very cool! I don’t remember this ride from the last time I was at the park, but apparently it was renovated in 2015 (after I would have visited initially) and they must have done a wonderful job. This ride, like Outlaw Run and Steel Vengeance, is a wood-steel hybrid coaster but unlike those two, has the layout and vibe of a much older wooden coaster like Blue Streak at Cedar Point. It has classic big hills and goes back and forth winding over itself and inverts for a modern twist. Like West Coast racers, this ride races itself! After your first circuit of the track, you are once again taken up the lift hill at the same time as a new cart that races alongside you. My favorite part was the inversion because it moved the racing cars to be running over top one another, to where you could look up/down at the opposing car's passengers.

and now it's time for the follow up that nobody asked for:

THE BATHROOM RANT

(and Scream)

WHERE ARE THE BATHROOMS?

I couldn't see any bathrooms around here or Twisted Collosus. Thankfully I didn't have to wait in too long of a line for either, and I really didn't have to pee that bad, but knowing I had to walk all the way over to Goliath for the restroom was a bit frustrating. In fact, I only saw restrooms in three places. 1. across from Kathy's by Tatsu 2. Next to Goliath 3. Outside the front gate. This and the location of X2 were the most disappointing aspects of the park. There was also a serious lack of signage to point you to where you needed to go. Navigating this park was a challenge.

All that said, Scream was fun! Compared to the other rides I had been on today, it's not a stand out. It has a layout and ride feel similar to inverted coasters such as Patriot, Banshee, or Raptor, but the ride itself is not inverted. it was strange not having a floor beneath my seat, but still seeing the rail the coaster followed under my feet. Honestly it was a little unsettling, because I was afraid my feet could be clipped by the rail!

Tatsu

I got a shirt of this ride when I visited as a kid, but I uh... cut the shirt up and ruined it trying to make a cooler sleeveless top. Sorry, Tatsu. I remember really liking this ride, but at the same time, not remembering it at all, so it was like riding it for the first time all over again. It. Was. Amazing!! Like flying. The on-your-back sweep was so cool! It's most similar to Superman: Ultimate Flight at Six Flags Great Adventure. We rode this coaster at night and it was very cool to see all the lights of the park shine around us as we twisted in the air.

Closing Thoughts

Six Flags Magic Mountain was even more impressive than I remember it as a child. New rides like Wonder Woman: Flight of Courage and revamped Twisted Collosus stole both the show and my heart. Six Flags often gets a bad rep, but this is by far and away the best Six Flags park you will ever visit, provided you don't mind a LOT of walking. Some of the park's greatest issues come from it's own namesake: the mountain. The park is on a massive hill that will have you hiking up and down and all around to get to the different rides, specially for The Ninja, Superman: Escape from Krypton, and Tatsu. X2, while not even uphill, still manages to be a pain in the ass to get to with it's out of the way location. Another critique I need to touch on is the ride time postings. To make the most out of the time we had, my dad purchased a Flash Pass and we were always checking the wait times to see which attraction to get on next. This is normal now for the modern park-goer, but what isn't normal is having a completely broken ride time listing. As I said earlier in my review, Wonder Woman opened at 4pm, and we ran right over when it did to hop in line, but my phone told me the ride was closed all day. The ride times never updated. The reason we knew it was open was because it showed up on my dad's Flash Pass. We ran to get in line as everyone else did and had to wait around 30 minutes. By the time we were off, that wait time was about 45 minutes. If we didnhave the Flash Pass, we would have waited much longer or maybe not even have noticed it was open at all. Finally, this was a Six Flags theme park, and as the reputation would imply, the standards were about as low as expected. The bathrooms were few and far between, and they were not the cleanest either. We went to Disneyland a couple days after this trip and I was reminded how nice public restrooms could be when enough care goes into them. Six Flags also has criminally expensive food. It was more expensive that Disneyland's food, and served you run of-the-mill frozen burgers and chicken tenders. I had the chicken tenders at Kathy's, and if I remember correctly they were about $18.99 and $2.00 extra if you wanted the spicy BBQ sauce added to them. The portion size was standard (which is fine for my dad but too much for me), so there was no reason in my mind for the price to be set so high.

But the food is not why you go to Six Flags. You go to Six Flags: Magic Mountain to ride more rollercoasters in one day than you ever thought possible. You go to this park for extreme, unique, and thrilling attractions. And that's exactly what I got. Overall I was very pleased with my trip to Six Flags: Magic Mountain, and I look forward to the day I can return again again soon.

For a list of these rides ranked and their score, check out this post here!

[danganronpasurvivoraskblog]

Ranking the Warriors of other Worlds Death Battles:

//Recently, I ran a poll asking everyone in the audience what their favourite Death Battle to come out of the Warriors of Other World's arc was, and I'm grateful to all those who voted.

//So before I get into the purpose of this poll, I wanted to quickly announce the results of said poll, and go over the community ranking of the series. These are the fights from least popular to most popular with their final percentage of the votes.

9th Place: Seiko Vs Lizard - 1.3% Tied 8th Place: Peko Vs RHM & Sakura Vs Jonathan - 2.7% Tied 7th Place: Akane Vs Chie & Narumi Vs Toga - 4% 6th Place: Komaru Vs Katie - 5.3% 5th Place: Mukuro Vs Kayano - 6.7% 4th Place: Mikan Vs Fluttershy - 9.3% TIED 3RD PLACE: Junko Vs Monika & Kaede Vs Sara - 12% 2ND PLACE: Makoto Vs Phoenix - 16% 1ST PLACE: Hajime Vs Deku - 24%

//With all that being said, while I do appreciate the feedback, I do have my own personal takes on the matchups and how they actually turned out in the end. So I imagine people actually wanted to hear my thoughts and opinions.

//This arc ended up being even more successful than I thought it would, and that makes be pretty chuffed. I was excited for this, and based on the feedback, everyone else seems to like it a fair bit as well.

//So yeah, I will probably be doing this again in the future. I won't, or rather can't, say when exactly, but if this is a concept people can get behind, then there's no reason to end it here.

//That being said, while this is definitely a new style that I'm not used to, I definitely did my best with the writing of this fight, and having my friends IRL help me with the analyses was great. But there are some battles that turned out greater than others.

//So I'm gonna be ranking them, because I know some people really wanted to hear my own personal reflections and feedback on this event, and I'm more than happy to provide it. Going into it though, these are the criteria that I will be judging the final products on, and things to keep in mind.

This will mainly be judged on quality of the analysis, how deep it goes, and how good quality the fight turns out in the end.

Considering we remain unbiased to each fighter, the verdict does not wholly matter.

A lot of this will be judged on the matchup itself, how strong the connections are, and whether or not I would want to see it happen in the actual series.

This is my own personal opinion.

//Alright, without further ado, let's get ready for a RANKIIIING!

#12: PEKO VS RHM

//I'm not gonna sugarcoat it, this FUCKING SUCKED.

//So after I went back to polish and edit the original script to post on Tumblr, this fight and analysis ended up improving my opinion of it, and I don't HATE it anymore, but it still doesn't save it from being the worst matchup in this event by a long shot.

//First and foremost, the reason Right Hand Man ever ended up on Peko's list of combatants was honestly originally done as a joke. We found some loose connections, and decided that he could be a potentially interesting combatant to analyze if he DID win the vote.

//Which we were so damn wrong about.

//But he was by far the character on Peko's list of combatants that we were not only the least excited to do a battle for, but also the one that we least expected to win. But we figured out pretty quickly that he was picked due to the Henry Stickmin games being the most widely popular and well known at the time compared to Peko's other matchups.

//When I first ran the poll for people to vote for who wins this fight, it actually made me laugh to see Peko win the audience vote by a country mile, because to be perfectly frank, not only does this fight have the least amount of serious connections between the two fighters, but it's also the MOST one sided fight in the whole series.

//Sure, Mikan Vs Fluttershy was similarly one-sided against Mikan, but even Mikan Vs Fluttershy still has the benefit of the two characters being fundamentally similar in a way that gives them opportunity to interact.

//These two don't have that excuse because they have some of the most bare-bones personalities in their respective series. RHM is a one-dimensional jackass who's rude and hates everything, and there's no layers to him; not even a real name or a backstory. And while Survivor Peko definitely has grown from her canon iteration, she's still fundamentally a stone-faced warrior with little screen time to help improve upon that.

//And what makes it worse is that with that in mind, an analysis would mainly pertain to the characters unique abilities instead of their personalities and stories. But in that regard, RHM has so much to cover, and by comparison Peko has...NOTHING.

//She just has a sword, and if this was a battle between herself and another sword-user like Afro Samurai, it wouldn't be as much of a problem to cover it, since Afro also has limited weaponry. RHM however, is a machine of destruction with so many tools in his arsenal

//You'll notice that this is the shortest DB in the series because there's so little to actually cover and no way to drag it out in a way that's interesting. The saving grace is that the fight turned out to be alright in the end, but there was no way in a million years Peko was ever going to win this, and that upsets me immensely.

//I don't hold it against the voters obviously, since we were the ones who put the damn stick figure on the list in the first place, but this was not the right call in the end, and I regret it.

#11: MAKOTO VS PHOENIX

//Haha jokes on you muppets, I put your second favorite second from the bottom!

//Why? Well, no reason really! I just...kinda got bored of it?

//This fight has far more connections than Number 12, but still, it didn't turn out to be the spectacle I'd hoped it would be. It turned out to be really hard to portray Phoenix and Makoto in a hostile setting where they're at each other's throats and trying to kill each other. Upon reflection, I think this fight turned out ok, but it still could have been leagues better.

//If actual DB ever decided to do this, I imagine they'd do it better, but also they wouldn't use Survivor Makoto, so I doubt he would really win.

//The analysis was fine, but again, this being the first chapter in the series, it's really supposed to set a boundary of quality more than anything, and every episode that comes after it, save for Peko Vs RHM, just turned out to be so much better. And keeping both of them within character while also making them try to murder each other was far more difficult than it should have been.

#10: SAKURA VS JONATHAN

//The best part about this fight was that I genuinely wasn't expecting Sakura to win going into it. And the fact that she was the first actual fighter who won her battle made a lot of people very happy. Aside from that, there's not much to say here.

//It's a very standard fist fight between two beefy people. and honestly, I feel that Jonathan, as much as I love JoJo, was among the opponents I DIDN'T really want to cover.

//And while I know I said I wasn't taking the verdict into account, part of me is not wholly sure our judgement on this one was correct, and we were worried about facing backlash, but fortunately, everyone seemed to agree with our reasoning in the end.

//But other than that, while there is style, there's little substance. Analyzing both these characters was fine, but not something I remember being that exciting. Similarly to Peko Vs RHM, Jonathan is capable of so much with Hamon, and Sakura is just a regular fighter who turns out to be super duper powerful, but describing her techniques was a bit of a chore.

//What was nice was explaining how the functionalities of breathing work in a fight. That was pretty fun.

//But yeah, while I don't dislike this matchup at all, I still feel like both characters have far better matchups that can happen instead of each other.

#9: KAEDE VS SARA

//Given that she's hands down my favorite character, I was super disappointed with how Kaede's episode turned out.

//Part of it was because we were fully prepared for Kotone to end up winning the poll, but right at the VERY LAST SECOND, Sara swept it out from under her. So we ended up abandoning our planned script and instead rewrote about half of it to make up for it.

//That, and I unfortunately did not time this release well. This fight dropped IMMEDIATELY after Kaede achieved her latest and greatest feat in Survivor, and it made it clear to everybody that she had this one in the bag. Of course, that chapter and this fight were all pre-planned, so I can assure you that it's not unfair or cheating, and Kaede would have won regardless of whether she had taken down Himiko's robot or not. Even still, I do realize just how cheap it might seem from an outside perspective, and I acknowledge this, but trust me when I say that this was little more than poor planning on my part.

//But weirdly enough, what I enjoyed so much about this part wasn't analyzing Kaede. It was analyzing SARA.

//Going into it, we all knew that Kaede was going to win, because she's insanely powerful in DR Survivor, and against Sara, we never thought she was ever going to stack up.

//But our expectations were rather subverted when we started doing the analysis for her. While we were right in that Sara didn't have what it took to beat Kaede, we were pleasantly surprised by how much she DID have going for her, and how squaring up to the Ultimate Pianist turned out not to be such a pipe dream.

//One other issue I have with this part of the series is how much both characters analyses focused on their STORIES more than their capabilities in a fight, but again, like Peko, Kaede's lineup of abilities is rather straightforward and simple, and there wasn't any need to discuss the functionalities of the hacking gun, since Komaru Vs Katie already went very deep into that, and repeating it immediately afterwards was pointless.

//And as someone who loves writing Kaede, it became very difficult to have her and Sara interact in a way that was interesting without breaking character for either of them. The final result and the way they were both portrayed wasn't exactly what I wished for, even if it was...acceptable. It was just very hard to imagine how a fight would start out between them, given that both are very logical and try to assess a situation before deciding to leap into battle, so we were forced to get a little OOC.

//But while it could have been better, what we ended up putting together was pretty fun in the end, so it gets a little higher than some of the previous matchups.

#8: AKANE VS CHIE

//The reason why this fight ends up in the lower half of the countdown is because a lot of the actual fight is just Akane and Chie smacking each other. Chie uses her spells sparingly and there's not much substance to their actual duel.

//But the thing is that it's perfectly in character for both of them, so it's not really a good idea to change that aspect.

//Akane is already a character who I wasn't looking forward to analyzing, since while I don't HATE her, I certainly don't like her as much as ANYONE else in her home game. And a lot of it, for both of them, was going to pertain to their abilities more than their personality and history, since Akane is very one-dimensional, and Chie is a very standard character as well.

//But this was the first fight where I really felt like we were making something special, and again, while I said the verdict does not ultimately affect my ranking, this one is an exception, since I was VERY surprised that Akane pulled out the win.

//I'm GLAD. But surprised.

//Especially given how much people were underestimating Akane prior to the release of the fight, it was fun to see people react to Akane actually beating a character who comes from a series full of infinitely powerful magic users, since I, and everyone else, really underestimated how ridiculous Danganronpa scaling could be.

//And this was the fight that I think got a lot of people hooked on the concept, so I'm grateful that we ended up doing it. If either of these characters ever got into DB, which is quite unlikely, this is a matchup I would really like to see.

#7: MIKAN VS FLUTTERSHY

//Say hello to the thing that made me a Brony.

//Yeah, I had a LOT of fun with this one. I already knew that My Little Pony's lore ran deeper than it really should, especially with the latest DB season running Bill Cipher VS Discord, and I had guessed in advance that Fluttershy would somehow end up taking this.

//The fight is incredibly one-sided, even though neither Fluttershy, nor Mikan are really "fighters" per se. Given the fact that Fluttershy has access to so much powerful magic, there wasn't any way that Mikan could contend with it.

//Even so, the reason why this ended up being a rich man's version of Peko Vs RHM is that Mikan not only has so many more gadgets to work with, but both these characters have interesting, cute and well-made personalities that clash with each other PERFECTLY.

//Of every fight in this arc, this one is the one I feel has the most interaction potential. And in my mind, that tea party absolutely happened when Mikan broke out of that stone.

//When this fight won the poll, I wasn't particularly happy at first, and I still think Medic would have made for a more interesting fight, but I ended up falling in love with this one more than I meant to, especially with how much I learned about My Little Pony, and how much fun I had explaining the lore and scaling of Fluttershy.

#6: MUKURO VS KAYANO

//I had this one a lot lower originally, but when I went back to edit it and reread it, I fell in love with this one all over again.

//Danganronpa and Assassination Classroom have always been fundamentally similar stories, and not just because Monokuma and Korosensei are in similar positions in both.

//This fight was less of an argument between who would win between Mukuro Ikusaba and Kaede Kayano, and more of an argument between Danganronpa and Assassination Classroom, and which one has the more crazy scaling. And it was a BLAST.

//This is one of the few examples in this arc where both fighters are fundamentally similar and formidable warriors, in a way that I felt was akin to Black Widow VS Widowmaker, which to this day, is still one of my top DB episodes.

//And originally, this fight was going to be similar to that Assassin V Assassin fight, but factoring in Mukuro's Battle Trance and Kayano's tentacles, this was going to get anime as fuck at some point, and it did, and I really enjoyed it.

//Mukuro losing kind of sucked, but it didn't affect my enjoyment.

//And while I fully expected Reze to win the poll, given Chainsaw Man's popularity, I think that this is genuinely Mukuro's best potential matchup if she ever became a canon Death Battle character. And you know what? I'd actually like to see it.

#5: NARUMI VS TOGA

//So this was the first fight where I actually thought to myself, "yep, this one is my favourite."

//And as mentioned in the episode itself, we had FAR MORE trouble analyzing this fight than we thought, and we honestly didn't know if Narumi had it in her to beat Toga. It was only after hours of deliberating and getting all our facts together that we decided on a verdict.

//Toga being able to survive explosions that happened INSIDE her body as a result of her fight against Curious was the biggest outlier for us, and we read over everything that both these girls had done before we decided our final victor. And it was a fun ride throughout.

//Especially because I never quite realized just how many connections there were between Narumi and Toga, not even the fact that they're both yandere's for the main protagonist of their series.

//But the fun part was seeing how their own unique styles of fighting, which are REMARKABLY different, stacked up against each other. This fight will never happen, since Narumi Osone was never an official DR character, but if Survivor was canon, I'd love to see it. I've thought of some matchups for Narumi since, but Toga still retains her crown as the one with the most connections.

//Some of the later episodes dethroned it, obviously, but it's still one of my favourites, kicking off the top 5.

#4: JUNKO VS MONIKA

//I was really really worried that this finale was going to suck, and I'm super glad that it didn't. It was by far the most difficult matchup to write because we wanted to make it a spectacle, but were struggling on ways to do that.

//What made it so difficult was the analysis portion, not the fight, and the reason for that is because this is a composite version of Junko, which means we have to go over EVERYTHING she has across the whole series. And given the fact that Junko pops up in basically EVERY ONE of the series iterations, that's a LOT. Monika, in contrast, does not have NEARLY that much, so a lot of her analysis, at least in the beginning, details her origin story, then breaks down her powers and what she can do with it.

//And learning about the actual lore of how DDLC came to be in-universe was super fun actually.

//This was also probably the most even fight in the series, barring one particular fight that we'll get to next, for obvious reasons. Even if the setup is a little convoluted, it's not hard to imagine that someone like Monika could exist in the world of DR Survivor, especially given that there's already a chunky handful of AI characters in the main cast. And in the case of her and AI Junko, when they are at their best, they can both manipulate space and time in the digital world they live in to such an extent that stats practically mean nothing. The real fight comes down to which one of them is the more parasitic AI, just like in canon episode, Ultron VS Sigma.

//And that's what I think really sold this one for me - the fight, and the way it turned out. Junko was smarter, stronger, and generally had so many legs up on Monika that makes it almost impossible to beat her normally, but she didn't have the advantage in the ONE deciding factor that dictated this fight.

//And I think there's something really ironic about that, especially considering that's typically how Junko's plans fall apart in Danganronpa. The only reason that anyone ever beats her despite being so cartoonishly powerful is simply by never giving up, and exploiting the one weakness she has. Something that Monika does professionally.

//So while I do prefer Junko Vs Springtrap as a concept that I would like to see, this one turned out to be way more fun than I thought it would, and I'm glad we did it.

#3: KOMARU VS KATIE

//There's really not much to say about this one, it's just a fun time. But that's what you should expect when you put the goofiest protag herself against the protag of the Mitchell's Vs the Machines.

//Katie's analysis is one of the best in this series, and one of the most fun I had writing. Komaru's isn't AS good, but I still think both were solid sequences detailing the characters and their stories, even if in Komaru's case, it had to be cut a little to go over the important origin points.

//But the very obvious reason why this fight and its conclusion ended up being so good was obviously because of the verdict, and what we broke down in the conclusion. In that from the feats we see of them, Komaru and Katie are fighters on a near equal level, to the point where it's hard to know for sure which one of them could win if they did fight. Thus, it ended up as a draw.

//And I think that's a really solid way to conclude this thing. Both are (originally) gun-wielding teenage girls fighting against a robot apocalypse, with their stories throughout the entire series putting a heavy emphasis on family, and the importance of it. In a way, that makes these two perfect opponents for one another, and the way this fight ended up portraying that in the end was pretty fun to watch.

//And the interaction potential as a result leaves very little to be desired. Their personalities clash perfectly, as do their goofy little quirks and interactions, and the fight itself was also fun, especially with how it takes them across the city scape and forcing both of them to get creative, something they both excel at.

//Like I said, there's not much to say here. This one was just super fun and I like how it turned out.

#2: SEIKO VS LIZARD

//So you know how only like, one person voted this one as their favorite one? Yeah, fuck the rest of you, lol.

//This battle gets my verdict for biggest surprise of the series. Because this one turned out amazing and I didn't believe it would.

//I might have mentioned this before, but originally, the 10th battle in the original lineup was going to be Kuripa, but he was swapped out for Seiko last minute. This is because Kuripa still has some more insane feats on the way in future arcs when he makes his grand return, and I wanted to save his fight for a potential future season lineup.

//Seiko was a GREAT substitute though, especially with her fight against Kanade in the main series coming shortly before this. And weirdly, from both the analysis, to each characters similarities and stories, to how an actual fight between them would go, all of it FUCKS HARD!

//One thing you might have noticed with the lineup of this arc is I really really REALLY wanted to avoid putting any Marvel characters in the polls. The simple reason being that Marvel and DC are so drastically fucking overdone in Death Battle, and I didn't think anyone would want to see it in this because I know I certainly wouldn't.

//This however, turned out to be a GREAT exception. If Lizard ever got into Death Battle, there's quite a few opponents he could go up against; Man-Bat being his biggest contender IMO, but Seiko, I think, is an underrated alternative.

//The big thing that sells this fight for me is that it somehow succeeds at being both a Brains Vs Brawn battle, AS WELL AS a feral monster battle. As mentioned in the post-analysis, Seiko's genius with medicine is so potent, it's not impossible that she could have fashioned a cure for Connors, especially since unlike him, her bestial form still retains some of her humanity. But not only was Connors just too insanely powerful compared to her, he actually had the means to COUNTER this weakness!

//Connors winning was pretty obvious, considering Marvel scaling gets insane, and he was several hundred times more powerful than Seiko, but even so, this fight didn't feel totally lame and one-sided, likely because even though they take different forms, both characters had strikingly similar abilities and feats.

//And one thing everybody knew going into this that I'm so glad we were able to deliver for this was this fight needed to be VISCIOUS. It's basically the epitome of two mutant monsters trying to tear each other to shreds, very much like Beast VS Goliath or Sabrewulf VS Jon Talbein, and the sewer system made for an appropriate and gritty setting.

//This was certainly the most pleasant surprise of the series, and had it not been for one little thing, this would have EASILY been my favourite fight.

//That one thing being...

#1: HAJIME VS DEKU

//I mean...COME ON! How could it NOT be!?

//This is my most wanted Death Battle of all time, and it seems to be the most wanted for the voting audience as well, since it won the poll in an ABSOLUTE LANDSLIDE!

//And unlike the other top spots on the community poll, this is the one that we all actually agree on.

//Not just because Hajime would hands down be the best Danganronpa character to premiere in Death Battle (besides maybe Junko), but personally, Deku VS Asta, Deku's canon episode, left a lot to be desired. It feels like the team were trying to ham up the fact that they were finally getting Deku in Death Battle, but then put him against a super mediocre opponent with surface level connections

//The way THESE TWO contrast though? It runs a LOT DEEPER than that.

//Hajime and Deku's stories are basically the exact same. The only difference is the story beats and the outcome, with Deku's story being that of a rising hero, and Hajime's being a fallen hero. And as a massive fan of both Danganronpa and My Hero Academia, it was my duty to make certain that this one turned out the best it could be.

//Which is the reason why this is so goddamn long. In an actual Death Battle episode, a lot of this important info would be reserved for the black boxes, but since we don't have those, we went over BASICALLY EVERYTHING. And what helped with it is that both characters have deep lore, interesting personalities, awesome powers, and everything we could possibly need to rant on for ages without seeming contrived or bored.

//Essentially, it's the complete reverse of Peko VS RHM, where both characters have abundant content and character, as opposed to basically no content or character. Aside from that, there are three big reasons why this is my favourite one of the lot.

//Exhibit A: Symbol of Hope.

//Up until this point, I have never brought up the music tracks for these battles, simply because, like early DB, a lot of them aren't original music composed for the specific matchups, being either a random video game music track, fan song, or a commissioned matchup track by Brandon Yates, and some of them work better than others (personally hated the Mikan Vs Fluttershy one, but I legit had no other option when it came to a gritty, despairing track that also featured chipper-ass MLP.

//Symbol of Hope is one of the commissioned Brandon Yates tracks that wasn't made for an actual DB episode, but it's one of his best tracks ever. If I have anything to be concerned about, the lyrics of Symbol of Hope contrast quite heavily to the theme of the actual battle we presented, where in the song, Hajime and Deku seem to be at odds with one another, fighting for the same reasons, but are against each other because of their different philosophies. I think this is pretty realistic though, and it doesn't take away from the fact that I still love the track. Plus, it's pretty long, which is good because this fight is also pretty long.

//Exhibit B: Character interactions and dynamic.

//Speaking of which, in this battle, Deku and Hajime's dynamic in this episode is mainly inspired by All Might VS Might Guy, Goku VS Superman 3 and Saitama VS Popeye; kind of a mesh between the three. Throughout most of their fight, Deku's main goal isn't just to win the fight, but it's also to show Hajime the respect he deserves, and give him a battle to remember. Hajime, who doesn't take Deku seriously at first, going along with it for the sake of appealing to this kid, eventually starts to break out into a joyous sweat when Deku raises the stakes and starts fighting him on an equal level; something that Hajime has never gotten in his life since becoming an Ultimate Hope, not even from the likes of Fujimori or Komaeda, other Ultimate Hope's.

//Having Deku's optimism break through Hajime's apathy, even though it costs him the fight, turned out to be a heartwarming, fun ending, and a great way to end the semi-final match.

//And exhibit C: their powers and abilities.

//Analyzing the full potential of One For All and the full potential of the Ultimate Hope was AMAZING, especially given how much we needed to consider for the verdict. As we mentioned, and we stand by this, it's likely that Deku at his full potential is actually physically stronger than Ultimate Hope Hajime, even though his strength is supposed to be the peak of humanity.

//But even if that is the case, there's still the powers themselves to consider, Ultimate Luck being a VERY big caveat to take into account, but the fight we ended up coming up with showed off basically all their abilities and powers without being too weirdly contrived, and I absolutely dig it.

//If there are any issues with this, it's that the setting can be a little confusing, that much I am aware of. Halfway through the fight, it's revealed that Hajime and Deku are fighting in the Neo World because their power threatens to create potential world destruction if they clash, but since all these fights are taking place in a simulation already, it left a few people confused about the situation and...yeah I didn't really think that through, I'm sorry about that one.

//But yeah, that doesn't take away from how much I enjoyed this one, and it's easily my top pick for this arc.

-Mod

[burrowbabe]

Give and Take - Chapter 3

"Hey, so we were just talking ... since Joe and Ja'Marr are just looking to spend the off season in LA, I offered they just stay here." AJ shrugs looking to you as if asking permission.

You were speechless for a moment, thinking about being in such close proximity. Not even because you just met them - your house had basically become a hotel for your brother and best friend's late night hookups - but for the simple fact that you think you have a crush.

How weird could it get? You think, nodding to your brother and Joe.

"Y-Yeah that's fine." You quickly say.

"Word." AJ smiles and resumes eating his breakfast.

"Thank you guys, seriously. You really don't have to do this for us." Joe says, looking between you and your brother.

"N-No, its our pleasure. We're all friends." You say, giving him a close-mouthed smile. You and Joe hold eye contact for a moment, almost as if trying to read one another's expressions.

"Welp, I'm gonna go shower." You state, once again trying to escape an awkward situation.

“We have some recording to do today.” You direct towards your brother. Quickly getting up from you chair you think, what is wrong with you? Shaking your head as you ascend the stairs. He must think you're so weird.

The self deprecation continued all throughout your morning routine, and as time passed, you realized that not only was that nagging feeling in your body exhausting, but you truly were tired from not sleeping the night before.

You had a deadline coming up for the release of your new album. The label had been checking in non-stop to make sure you were being productive - which you were - but not at the pace they would've liked.

After combing through your wet hair, you hear AJ call up to you from the bottom of the stairs.

"Ann! I brought all our shit down here because of the good acoustics, remember?"

"Yeah, OK. I'll be right down." You reply.

Even though you had spent thousands of dollars on a state-of-the-art home recording studio, you found that recording your vocals in the kitchen sounded much better. Of course, the studio was still put to use, but you both found yourselves set up on the kitchen island more often than not.

When you descended the stairs, you could see everyone sitting around the island waiting for your arrival. An audience was nothing new to you, but when you were performing the song finished, not during the creative process.

Having your friends Tana and Nick listen in was one thing, but now Joe and Ja'Marr sat patiently as well, which churned your stomach with anxiety.

"Jeez, we got a full house." You jokingly say, laughing awkwardly.

"They wanna see how the sausage is made." AJ jokes, garnering laughter to erupt from the table. You laughed along to play it cool, but you knew this was going to be difficult. Your songs were personal to you and it was important to you to have a safe space where you could criticize yourself, cry, goof off and argue with your brother over the sound engineering without people judging.

"All we know is football. I wanna see how y'all make my favorite songs." Ja'Marr says, smiling encouragingly.

Deep down, you knew everything would be fine, but you totally felt put on the spot.

"Of course, of course." You smile, swallowing your nerves.

For the rest of the afternoon, you recorded a handful of songs, some rap, some R&B and pop that showed off your range. The process became easier as time went by, with the guys offering words of support and cringeworthy synchronized dance moves to the beat of the songs.

Everyone spent the time laughing and having fun, accompanied by your famous obscene lyrics that you became popular for. You didn't know if this impressed Joe or not. Would he think you were sexy for being empowered and aggressive? Or would it be a turnoff that you were so vocal about your sexuality? Nonetheless, a smile never left his face, which you took as a good sign.

After spending some time in the living room watching a raunchy, late-night comedy, Tana suggests you go for a swim.

"Now?" You whine, but everyone else was eager to change and jump in the pool.

Digging through a drawer of bikinis in your bedroom, you debated which one you wanted to wear. Should you be modest or sexy? That was the question. Deciding on sexy, you put on a bright blue, micro bikini. Your brother wouldn't be pleased, but you wanted to show off your body a little bit.

You were the last to emerge from the house, closing the sliding glass door to the patio behind you and seeing everyone splashing in the pool having a chicken fight.

You certainly needed some liquid courage to stop your racing mind from feeling self conscious. So, you grabbed the bottle of vodka from the night before to drink straight up.

Throwing your towel down on one of the sun chairs, Tana turns her attention to you from atop AJ's shoulders.

"Holy shit! You look hot!" She exclaims, causing everyone else to look in your direction. You try not to catch Joe's eye and thankfully the darkness of the night hid the blush that crept up on your cheeks.

You murmur a 'thank you' before taking a swig from the bottle of vodka.

"I just kicked Ja'Marr's ass! Ann come play chicken. You can be Joe's partner!" Tana suggests excitedly.

You set the bottle down and turn to see Ja'Marr fall off Joe's shoulders and swim towards the edge of the pool to pull himself out.

Anxiety struck you once again, but you obliged and eased into the pool.

Great, now my literal vagina is going to be up against this guy's neck.

By the time you reach Joe, and before you can even blink, he's hoisting you up atop his shoulders with such ease that you feel your core clench with arousal.

You just met this guy yesterday, calm down. You remind yourself, hoping to God he did not just feel the reaction he gave you.

"Push her! Push her!" AJ screams as you and Tana interlock fingers trying to throw each other into the pool.

With Joe's tight grip on your shins and a hard shove that you mustered up, you sent Tana flying backwards into the water.

"Yes!" You scream. Joe takes you off his shoulders with a huge smile plastered across his face. You high five and celebrate as Tana spits out water and attempts to clear her eyes of chlorine after going under.

It was only after the commotion died down, and people started venturing into the hot tub, that you noticed the muscles on Joe's shirtless body. This was something you could not find on the internet the previous night ... and you had tried.

Before you could get too ahead of yourself, Joe's voice broke you out of your trance. You realize it was only you and him left in the pool and he's asking you about your plans for the next day.

"Oh, I'm not doing anything I don't think." You say.

"Good, I was hoping to take you all out to dinner to say thank you for letting us stay here." He replies.

Hope deflated slightly in you, thinking that maybe he was going to ask you out on a date. But, again, you remind yourself that you and him barely know each other, and he has not shown any interest in you.

"That sounds great." You say with a small smile.

"Do you want to get in the hot tub?" He asks.

Feeling slightly rejected, you shake your head. "No, I think I'm gonna head up to bed. I didn't get much sleep last night."

His brow slightly furrows and for a second, you think he looks disappointed.

"Joeyyyyyyyyyy!" Tana calls from afar. "Come sit next to me!"

Looking at each other once more, he nods quickly. "Yeah, yeah, of course. Sleep well."

With that, you hoist yourself out of the pool and gather your things. Watching Joe get into the hot tub next to Tana caused a wave of jealousy to come over you, but you needed to stop yourself from getting into something that could hurt you again.

[cornerattic]

Anais' Attic- Balatro.

Have you ever wanted to play Poker, but it's actually Yu-Gi-Oh, but it's Slay the Spire? Well that's what you'll get out of Balatro, the latest Deck-builder Roguelike to hit the market.

I'm a fan of roguelikes/lites, both Clo and I have been for a long time. Risk of Rain 2, Rogue Legacy 1 & 2, Hades, even Enter the Gungeon to a certain extent- and of course, Slay the Spire. Hell, even in Honkai Star Rail we ended up only playing through more of the game so we could unlock more Simulated Universe content.

There's just something about the addiction of “Just one more run, just one more run, cmon, can't end on a loss, just one more” that scratches the lizard brain’s itchy rash like freshly manicured nails, and Balatro definitely hits that urge. It's the prestigious winner of two of our personal rewards, one of which is that in an effort to not have to stop playing, we decided to purchase it on both Ps5 and switch. Sure it's only 15$, but that should tell you all you need to know about how good it really is.

But in case you'd like a full breakdown, here you go.

As stated Balatro is, in essence, another deck-builder roguelike. You win battles, earn money, and proceed to use said money to acquire new cards so you can win more battles to earn more money and so on. Same loop, new software. But one of Balatro's unique things is that it uses your standard 52-card deck as its base to build from. It's more complicated than that by the end of the average run, but that is where it starts. If you've seen a 52-card deck, you've seen every card in the starting deck. Where it gets wild is the different jokers you can use to build into getting all sorts of wild combinations, like turning all your cards into the same suit, or giving you a 4x multiplier for playing a four of a kind.

Because that's Balatro's other shtick- it's a poker game on top of everything else. You know all the memes you can find joking about Chess 2? Well this is Poker 2. If you know how to tell a three of a kind from a straight flush, you're a bit ahead of the curve, but you'll find your advantage means little when you need 300,000 points to beat the end boss of an ante, and you're barely making 30k with your hands. You're in Balatro's casino now, and you're gonna play by its rules.. But hey, at least it'll tell you the rules. That's more than you'd get in vegas.

Balatro is, however, all gameplay. Not so much as a scrap of an excuse plot. If you imagine a scale with “Roguelike storytelling” on it, then Balatro is far on the other end, about as far away from Hades as it gets. If that turns you off, no big deal, I don't judge. But I will tell you you're missing out.

Balatro has exploded in popularity, and it's been mostly to its benefit. I say mostly because while the game did manage to sell over 500k copies in two weeks, it didn't manage to escape without an 18+ Pegi rating, and an outright ban in South Korea as of the time of this writing. Banned and outrageously rated for the same reason there's no more game corner in the Pokémon games- it's too much like gambling, even when games that are essentially gambling and encourage gambling are not only allowed, they're shoved in your face.

If you're just looking for a thumbs up or down, let me answer that with a cautionary tale. Clover and I were told to give this one a try by a friend, and it proceeded to consume just over 30 hours of our sadly limited time on this earth over the span of a week. Given we work a dayjob, but have the ability to play for an hour at lunch, that's essentially nothing but Balatro in every spare moment. Which is why Balatro is the recipient of our other personal reward, being awarded the honor of getting deleted just so that we could get any work done.

After all, if the house always wins, then the only winning move is not to play at all. - 🌙

[officeobject]

I have no intro, and I think at this point everyone knows that I make intros, like the sandwich intro, just for fun or whatever, and the actual reason I choose these topics, is because I had them as an idea, maybe had gotten inspired, but generally, got in a good enough mood to type it all out.

You know, I actually got called "frenchfurrygender" as a joke once, and I feel weird happy feelings when thinking about it, and even felt it when I for the first time had it in the corner of my eye, but I'm not French, and let me clarify that xenogenders might sound similar in name, but are actually valid, and xeneophobes (not the same as xenophobes, but also xenophobes), can feck off ... that being said, frenchfurrygender isn't a xenogender, therefore, it ain't real (unless the gender police says it's real, LOL).

Anyways, I give permission for y'all to guess my gender, therefore, y'all can do it.

I didn't include every gender in this, because ... well, queer people should understand why, there's basically infinite genders.

Also, multigender people exist, but I think I read it wasn't possible making multiple options on Tumblr, and I also don't know how, so just comment the combinations ... or just leave it vague.

In case you're wondering why I'm making this, it's again another "yeah, I just want your perception and am tooootally not also gonna judge you for it" type of thing.

In case your perception of me is just "trans" and you wanna figure your way from there for the sake of this poll, I'm non-intersex (not sure what the word for that is) female, and therefore AFAB. If that's gonna make you see me as my body or whatever, then I want you to look up both therapy and "sexual attraction", because ew, what the fuck?

In case you want MORE trivia about me, I do have quite the bitch of a fursona I haven't revealed on Tumblr, but if you wanna know how I see myself and can't just Colby-Tybbles-teenage-boy-ghost yourself into my room and look at the commissioned paper, don't worry, because my subconscious can't register what I see in the mirror as myself, but registers my fecking Pinkie Cooper And The Jet-Set Pets Ginger Jones doll, as myself, when looking at it. Also, I hate the look of every sex, I like the look of humans wearing clothes and just having clothes on and never taking them off, in case you need to know how I feel about body stuff (no nipples, no curves, no butt, no PP, no bobbles, etc), and also for some reason my hair looks exactly like the saluki dog breed, which is one of the only parts of my body that looks like me, but that's okay, because my body is my car for my personality ... WROOM WROOM -

Turns out, not many options are able to be made, in a poll. You could also comment your guess, if it's not there.

But yes, you get to headcanon me as trans! Or even cis! *Softly exclaims* OH MY GOOD ...

Follow my account for when you get to headcanon about my opinions on mugs, of which I will then laugh and judge everyone who gets it wrong, but also never reveal the correct answer/answers.

I know this is weird since I'm a real life person and not a character but I'm allowing people to just guess/headcanon stuff, but oh well!

Also, this is the first poll I'm not voting on, and that's because I don't want y'all to get the correct answer as a spoiler, and none of the options are goofy and funny (unlike me knowing my age but "guessing" it in the age-guess poll anyway, and choosing "16" regardless, because that's the minimum age, and I just thought that would be funny ... in case you're wondering, it's actually the most popular age-guess for me, and I think "26+" or something, is the SECOND most popular option, and yeah, fair enough, man).

[thelastonewastaken]

On Comedy and Comedians

In recent years, there's been a lot of debate about comedy and comedians, and about whether specific comedians are funny. So I thought I'd put some of my thoughts down, these are of course only my subjective opinions. I'm sure there must be a well-researched book on this matter.

Comedy is a performing art

It's very audience-based, and comedians learn how to work their audience: selecting the right jokes, presenting them in the right order, using specific inflections to deliver the punchline etc. It's no wonder that when on tour, comedians add a few jokes to their routine that are about the specific location they're in. (For example, watch Katt Williams' opening monologue at a show in Jacksonville.)

So if you listen to a comedian and don't think they're particularly funny, the first question you should ask yourself is whether you're a part of the audience they're speaking to. There are a wide range of comics doing very different types of comedy: Jerry Seinfeld does observational, everyday humour; Sarah Silverman likes to shock and takes pauses for effect; Michelle Wolf does conversational, quick-paced bites; Dave Chapelle does bit-wise comedy where you have to remember the full set; Aries Spears is great at mimicry; Jeff Ross is great at roasts; the list goes on...

In addition, comics build on the artistry of others: Seinfeld developed his niche based on Cosby, Eddie Murphy took some bits from Richard Pryor. So if you do not like one comic, there are many more you could like. One might simply not be for you, it doesn't mean they are not funny.

Jokes can be mean

The only requirement for a joke is to be funny, it might be mean, maybe tone-deaf, maybe even ignorant, but it should be funny. It might be funny in ways people are ashamed to admit, but that's what comics play on - that's their entire reason for existing.

Comics do not do shows to make people mad. It's counter-intuitive for a comic to try to displease their audience, it makes no sense on their part. They gain absolutely nothing from doing that, and they've thought about their jokes long before they say it. So trust me, they're not trying to be mean when they say something mean, they're being funny.

I agree that there's a thin line though. It gets mean when they continuously punch down on the same person, but typically comics direct a one or two jokes at a person then move on. So it's always good to think about intent. For example, Chris Rock's GI Jane joke at the Oscars was funny and relevant. It was a joke about a movie to an audience celebrating film and it was delivered perfectly.

No subject is off limits

Off-limit subjects are antithetical to comedy as an art form. You can not have a subject that people are afraid to make jokes about. It defeats the whole purpose of comedy. If you're offended by a joke because it's insensitive to something you hold dear, it's important to consider if it could be funny to someone who has no idea how dear you hold the subject matter.

You might also want to think about why you're very offended by it, most times it has nothing to do with the comedian. And I say this as a Nigerian (scams are a popular joke) and a Catholic (take your pick) who stutters (I mean...).

You have to evaluate a comic's full set

Long before comics record their specials that appear on Netflix or HBO, they go on tour. They test each joke at comedy clubs and nights they MC, they adjust and fine-tune each joke, gauging the laughs they get and how people respond to them.

When they record their specials, the jokes are ready. They know how to deliver them, when to back off, and when to double down. They also know how the audience will respond. So when evaluating a special, you can't take one joke and analyze it, you have to analyze the whole body of work. You shouldn't see a clip online and judge it, it's a bit like listening to only one song off a musician's album and passing judgement on it. You're unlikely to know what they were trying to do.

So, how do you know a joke is funny?

Comics usually play up a scene from reality and deconstruct it. It might be something they've witnessed or something imagined, they might focus on the scene's actors, the characters behind the scene, or the scene itself. They might ponder on what the outcomes of the scene were or should've been.

Then, they have to select an aspect of the scene for comedic rendering. To do this, they employ some language devices: analogy, onomatopoeia, symbolism, etc, as well as some elocution strategies. They may enlist some audience participation.

The only test for whether a joke is funny is whether the devices employed fit the aspect of the scene selected. And it's a valence test, i.e., how funny was it, as opposed to a content test, i.e., was it funny or not. The difference between a published comic and your funny friend is that the former's jokes are typically of high valence and the latter's jokes are of low valence. Whether a joke needs to be explained has no impact on whether it's funny or not, but typically the higher the valence, the less explanation is needed.

Finally,

There is the chance that you're listening to someone who just isn't funny, but unless you're in a comedy club that takes on unknown comics still trying to hone their craft, it's very unlikely.