#and ive taken more again and im waiting for it to kick in cause this fucking sucks im so itchy and red

[flishlish]

Just when I thought I knew what all my problems were, i wake up covered in hives head to toe for no discernable reason.

[asfdhgsdkjhgb]

guys i am going to have a breakdown why do i have to be so boring and lame :[ i fucking hate having a job and school and shit

[chaoticmannamedoliver]

Okay so, below is a health ish update and a vent about my former GP- cause they did smth that feld dehumanizing. This is mostly just so other people who might have similar health issues to me, can point me into right directions....im iffy about doctors rn-

Contents:

- stupid thing my GP did

- listing of my pains i have that neither of my 2 GP's ive been to acknowledged or bothered with. If you have something similar or know ANYTHING, i really need help, even just little things to make it easier.

- So, what my last gp did -

So i had an appointment with her recently that i took my boyfriend too since he was visiting me anyway- love him

I sat down, and the whole appointment was just a disappointment. She basically gave up on figuring out why im dizzy or why my blood pressure is so high with 18. I asked what im supposed to do with my heart, what im supposed to do about the dizzy- that i came to her for answers- but the woman who seemed so keen on finding out whats wrong with me, cursing my first gp for just prescribing me HBP Meds without further research and who daid she loved working with young adults...just apparently gave up n said is nothing n that i should just continue talking my meds. I had my shitty ass cane to the appointment with me, which she asked about - and i said it helped me with my dizzy, to which she rolled her eyes

She offered one more test, probably just to get me out and left for a bit to talk with a doctor. In the meantime i had a breakdown because i got no answers- and didn't get any further.

When she came back, she told me to get up and go straight, i asked to where exactly- then she grabbed my arm, took my cane from me and with a very uncomfortable grip, dragged me to the waiting area in front of the room for the last test and sat me down, giving the cane to my probably very taken aback partner who had followed us and mutteredthat i didn't need it and. I had another breakdown and didn't understand what happened yet- but it felt bad, dehumanizing?? GP asked me not to cry, and that what she did was just to give me courage and then just left. It felt like she never listened to anything i said- and i still don't know what to make of what happened - if anyone has suggestions- do tell? It felt....hurtful

- My issues and ows and whatnot -

So, there are a few, especially now that i have someone who actually tells me that they're not normal.

- my feet/heels start hurting after 5 ish minutes of standing

- i get dizzy if i stand for a minute or two on bad days and good days it kicks after 1-10 minutes

- heat and shower makes dizzy worse. A sitting think in the shower would make it better

- i have too high blood pressure if i don't take the meds.

- no, the dizzy doesn't come from any ear organ stuff. Tested that.

- the dizzy had gotten. Better after the meds, now its hard to tell.

- sometimes my gravity just says no.

- after maybe 30 min to an hour of walking, my feet/heels hurt. After a certain point i get dizzy. Then no amount of break will fix it. I need to lay down.

- without my cane, walking feels heavy. Please let me use my cane for fucks sake im going to hit the next doctor who says i don't need it i swear to GOD.

- growth pain. After a day of walking. Or cleaning. My knees and shins hurt. Especially once im laying again. They hurt so much that i want to claw at them. Take them out. Agony. Luckily ive started to recognize the kinda pain early and take a paracetamol- but without it? Not matter what position, im in pain

I don't think im supposed to have growth pain anymore with almost 19, right?

- when i get dizzy, the ground feels like its zooming away from me

- i was born at the end of the 6th month? If that helps any-

- inherited migraines from my dad- also just side info

[pwblogarchive]

October 2007

10/05/07 Q&A

question

do YOU have any FOB songs on your ipod? or whatever it is you use to listen to music. or maybe, i should say, do you OWN any FOB cd’s, and like, listen to them. (haha, can’t get out of this question, cause even if you don’t own an mp3, i know you must have at LEAST a cd player. i mean. come ON) that’s all :D

answer

yes i own every fall out boy record. some i love some i hate…. truth be told i lose an ipod a month about.

question

Have you accomplished all of you lifes goals?

answer

nah there are a few cliffs in the southern hemisphere that are begging to be jumped off in the nude. there are a few more ideas out that just wont stop sparking in my head. ill get to them before it doesnt matter. we got some life left in us

October 7, 2007

a poem for you:

and then came a baby boy with long eyelashes

and daddy said "you gotta show the world the thunder"

im a madman, you think yr gonna stop me now

yr down on the ground and im gonna kick that last belief out of your mouth

and your parents bedroom is just armor you cant wear anymore

and i dont shine like i did before

even the young ones become irrelevant by yesterday

they always bring up how i changed

and i did at least twice a day

never the same person when i go to sleep or when i wake

we are all fighting growing old in hope of a few more minutes

to turn it around and make st. peters list

we are all just cave paintings

pinch yrself just to know you exist

theres a statute of limitations on the laws of attractions

dont forget

lower yr standars cos it aint gonna get any better than this

me and my "coffin sized friends"

were only fighting over the seat with the best view

to watch the end

when i die please make me a legend

so i dont have to come back and try again

look down, anyone can play a bad hand

god himself wouldnt understand my plans

im in production of reduction:

artificially sweetened limelight

pryed so many shells open

but only found sand inside

a wasps wings are as good as a moths

when theyre both in the pool turned upsidedown

ive got an obsession with legacy,

being murdered, and seaside towns

ive screamed my insides out and

been photographed coming undone

im pretty sure i could live until forever

and not know anyone

------------------------------------------

life is steady. dont fail me.

ill stick out the rounds and wait for the count.

i love you.

October 13, 2007

“patronus.”

fixed gear friends with their handrolled tobacco

wearing scarves indoors

having abandoned che prints to the mall and taken up wearing the garb of the intifada

gaza chique

vintage misery

keep pumping the problems out

even if noones listening

or ever was

what if first timers really referred to cherries and not to crime

what if you could take it all back

been hiding in the house since becoming a househould name

except not rly

i fear that things i hate in myself are the only things youve ever loved

and just because youve read every book on life doesnt mean you have ever lived

Posted by xoat 1:42 AM

[fictionfixations]

spoiler alert: i get SO off topic talking about other stuff. (if you cant tell i like talking. or well expressing my thoughts. anyway its 2 am i can use the excuse of impulse actions from lack of sleep)

i dont even know why im trying when obviously the next update is going to require even more storage and im going to have to drop it (its like 50 gb in actuality but it needs double to like. open it and do SHIt. i dont know this stuff man)

ahghgusihdfiufh (it was worse. ive. deleted a bunch of stuff that i dont play as much.

only games left are Star Rail (which im not dropping. ive poured so much time genuinely invested in story and characters idk what im gonna do when i run out of space to play. maybe cry.), Roblox (i genuinely dont know how much storage its taken, and I don't play it that much but LISTEn it fills a lot of game cravings that i cant play the source cause holy shit my storage.), Osu (the only game i can play without wifi.)

i wanna play the other games on mobile (i used to play star rail on mobile ngl LMFAO then realized 'hey this is fun' and moved to pc after genshin got too big. or maybe i had both at the same time i cant remember now ghreuigh) but uhm. the farthest i get in wuwa on mobile is like the opening loading screen before we see the rovers (it just stops there. even the music stops i think?? ive left it on and did other stuff but nothing happened and its either it wants me to wait super long, or theres just no hope) i did the tutorial for solo leveling arise on mobile but then trying to do literally anything else (like trying to access the menu) kicks me out of the game so then i had to move to pc. genuinely scary game first time around it shut down my pc, and even at lowest graphics kept warning me that 'for smoother gameplay you should have lower graphics' or something so fan on all the time (i have a fan pointed directly at my laptop.) and honestly. im not even that big of a fan of solo leveling why am i here (meilin fisher that is why. anyway i got her. so. shes not even an actual character outside the game??) ive literally only seen the anime and i forgot most of it😭

zzz on my phone is just black screen. it kicks me out. the farthest ive gotten is it asking if i want notifications but it still kicks me out

identity v i cant even download everything i think, i just have it to log in for pc. but uhm. i guess i cant anymore? but also i cant remember if i can still log in through other methods so uh its staying on mobile (to be fair i only got super into it cause of danganronpa collab so)

oh i found whatever it was that was taking 2 gb on desktop LMFAO

no wonder i was so confused on wtf it was

anyway. um. this is very much a shame. cause. i only get so invested in stories in games because im actually playing them. otherwise i cant guarantee im fully focused cause i get distracted so easily. um.

now about mobile storage and everything

uh. i have an iphone 6 pro. no idea if thats bad or not but uh. probably not that great. ? ? idk man idk how it compares to newer phones i want to get a new phone (at least for all the games i cant play on that phone) but then i got an iphone case cause my former one was actually cracked so... its staying (from the zzz website)

so its probably the phone in all honesty thats the issue (people were talking about who they wanted to play when starting the game and i got myself all hyped over ellen so. d'aww.)

and in the case its actually storage.. uh. tough luck. nu carnival is. a gacha game. and i got the character i wanted there, but its more convenient to go through like daily kinda stuff. ..also confession time if yk the difference uh. listen it was a hassle downloading it im not gonna delete it then have to reteach myself how tf to download it again because oh my god

twisted wonderland (aka disney tw LOL) is my OTHER fixation besides star rail. ive gone through all the story (including JP which i dont have cause i cant read it but fan translations for the win) + most event stories (i havent gone through anniversaries, new year sale 2024 JP, and like i think theres a crewel one rn..? or thats just the new card., tapis rouge, playful land, thats it). i love this game. so much.

if i told you ibis paint x used to take i think like so much more space because it still had the stuff since the VERY beginning... anyway idk what to use it for now but if i ever need to edit something...

kinemaster ^

i kinda already talked about identity v

bang dream. i LOVE rhythm games. and pretty designs. and vocaloid. and japanese songs.

in all honesty i lose interest in things so fast and drop them. then i get interested in other things, etc etc. and then i get back to a fixation on, say, rhythm games and wanting to play them a lot. then i can get bored and get interested in like. idk. life simulation(?) games like sims 4. or minecraft specifically the wynncraft server (which is like a fantasy thing..)

which is kind of why i have a bunch of stuff that i dont play often still because one day im gonna want to play it and then go back.

for laptop i just got rid of the games i wasnt interested in playing at the moment so. yeah

anyway if you cant tell i like talking about stuff. and justifying stuff (well its more like it started because i was worried to be judged. ive never been judged over what i like?? only like. once or twice?? that i can recall? but at one point i just started getting in the habit of justifying beforehand for everything after seeing the internet with their pitchforks directed at so many people so. yee.)

off topic. ive checked in on tiktok sometimes. and i just wanna say. how often is it that y'all get comments on old posts that are just variations of 'reminder' or 'remember this' ?? LISTEn the amount of comments that just say "reminder" and THATS IT (bro someone commented 'reminder' TWO times on the SAME post like DAMN. i mean they commented on someone else's comment on that post too with 'reminder' so probably trying to bother someone else but like wHY)

like. i mean. ive posted cringey shit hasnt everyone but it kinda feels like they're trying to shame people? like 'haha remember your past?'

maybe im sensitive. i mean. if this was past me i wouldve probably taken it to heart since yknow its still a work i created, but honestly now its just kinda funny

but idk if anyone else is being bothered by this (i mean. people generally go through old posts and delete ones they dont like right? i kinda dont do that so i mean. maybe yall are better off for that)

just wondering.

[iwadori]

hii i saw ur taking requests and I wanted to ask if you could do a fic with the miya twins,suna and iwa comforting their s/o after they have a dream of them cheating on her? tysm!

Cheating Misunderstandings with the haikyu boys (Osamu,Atsumu)

Word Count:1.8K

Genre:angst,fluff

masterlist

AN: This was kind of on the lines of what you wanted, but I hope you enjoy it. Also you guys will see an ‘Empress appearance’ in this work....so don’t kill me.

Osamu:

You were walking to miya onigiri ready to pick up Samu to go home

But when you got to the front door you see Osamu in the shop winding touching another girl

You couldn’t see the girl or Osamu properly because of the angle you were at

But you wouldn’t say your eyes were decieving you, so you did what you should do turn on your heel and get out of there.

You were back at your apartment and you were fuming, you were at your desk and decided that distracting yourself with your mountainous amount of paperwork that you had for your job would be better than sitting down and stewing over watching your boyfriend cheat on you.

‘How long has this been going on,’ you thought to yourself ‘Who even is she? She can’t be a worker’ since you knew everyone that worked there and the manager Empress would definitely not let a worker get with Osamu since you were besties after all.

Distracting yourself, obviously didn’t work and you sent yourself into a spiral of social stalking, trying to find this girl. Which didn’t work, as you only saw her hair and her height which was around a foot shorter than Osamu’s. ‘Stupid Osamu’ you thought, how could he do this? Why would you do this?

You wanted to cry, you were going to cry. Outside you heard a car door shut, and looking out your window you saw Osamu walking out the car with his keys in his mouth and bags (presumably food) in his hand.  

You heard some knocking, well kicking at your front door and a light shout of “Babe, can you open the door my arms our pretty full here.” You didn’t answer, you didn’t even move cause you knew if you saw his face it’ll most likely be him saying ‘Y/N im sorry, but theres someone else’ the thought alone made you cringe. You were knocked out of your thoughts with again the kicking of the door and Osamu saying with a laugh “C’mon babe all you really gonna leave a guy stranded out here, ive got your favourite too and its going to get cold”

You reluctantly opened the door, not actually greeting Osamu and just going back to your room to pack away your paper work and close your laptop. To your surprise Osamu was behind you and gave you a quick kiss to your cheek, which you would usually smile and ease into but today you cringed and quickly moved. Making Osamu look at you with a side eye.

By time he was setteled in you were sitting down at the dinner table eating, with the sound of Gordon Ramsey’s Hell Kitchen filling your awkward silence. Osamu did try to speak to you but you always just responded with “yeah,” “sure,” or “maybe.” Short simple answers that Osamu definitely didn’t like.

When dinner was over and it was the time when you two usually watched a shitty reality tv show together, you decided to go to bed early to avoid any more awkward conversation with Osamu. But before you could clamber into bed, Osamu grabs your arm saying “Y/N, what’s wrong with you?”

“What do you mean Samu?” you say with a forced smile on your face even though he couldn’t see it, you just did so he didn’t see you start to tear up “nothing’s wrong with me.”

“Are you Y/N?”

“mhm” you murmured trying to shrug off his hold, you sniffled a bit (attempting to do it quietly) but he heard it.

“No y/n, what’s wrong can’t you just turn around.” The force of you pulling away and he pulling you close, left you falling onto your bed and the tears just started to fall. Osamu immediately crouched down to your eye line “whats wrong love?” he said with a tender voice.

You shook your head in response, “what’s wrong?? Please tell me Y/N.”

“Why would you do that to me?” you say your voice breaking as the tears streamed your face. Osamu started to panick seeing you cry.

“Do what Y/N, what do you mean?”

“You cheated on me? Was I not enough for you? Don’t you love me anymore.”

“Who Y/N!Who.?”

“You touched her, I saw you. I can’t believe you would do that. In public as well” you accused “How could you do that to me.”

“Y/N, baby listen I don’t know what you mean?”

“Don’t call me that Miya, you’re such a fucking liar oh my god.”

“Can you please explain to me what you’re talking about?”

“You. In the shop. I saw you, touching her” you say scowling saying the last line as if It was poisonous.

“In the shop? What do you-” a spark flashed in Osamus eyes before he stood up and started pulling you out the room “You need to come with me.”

“Miya, what are you doing? I’m not going anywhere with you.” you groaned

“Yes you are, and stopped calling me that.”  

He dragged you outside to his car and opened the door for you, standing expectedly waiting for you to get in. “Im not getting in,” you say folding your arms

“Oh yes you are. Just get in the car.”

“But im in my roblox pyjamas” you groaned again feeling like a child.

“And you still hot babe don’t worry” he said winking at you ushering you into the car “Just get in it’ll be a quick ride anyways.”

You pulled outside of onigiri miya and Osamu begin to drag you out again taken you to the office where the security cameras are. He did something on the community and pulled up a date and time which was the time you were at the store earlier.

Playing on the screen was the recording and the incident which you saw before, but this one was a differnet angle. You saw a girl walking one way and Osamu walking the over with a drink in his hand, him spilling the drink on her and cleaning her off with a paper towel. Which you thought was him groping and touching her.

Your cheeks heated up hard in embarrasment, as you realised how you acted and how you got it all wrong. You saw Osamu with a glint in his eye and smirk on his face and before he could say anything you said “Dont. Let’s get back to the car.”  

All was forgotten on your car ride home and you decided to discuss eachothers days (skipping out the ‘cheating’ part.) However after you watched you shows and finally gotten into bed, when Osamu was holding you right against his chest (so close where you could hear his heartbeat) he said, “Y/N, although we agreed to not talk about this incident...even though I will definitely be telling Empress, I just want to let you know that I will never even think about cheating on you let alone actually doing it, I love you so much that the idea of cheating is so uncomprehendable I don’t even want to think about it.”

“Love you ‘Samu, and I'm sorry for making this into a big old thing when I could’ve just asked you about it.” you say in response

“It’s okay babe,” he said kissing your forehead “It’s okay.”

Atsumu

You and Atsumu have been dating fairly recently meeting in your through your friend Empress who was the manager at Atsumu’s brother Osamu’s shop Onigiri Miya.

You’ve only been together 6 months and you’re ready to tell him that you love him

However you being the perfectionist that you are, wanted it to be perfect so of course you had to practice on friend, Empress’ boyfriend Hajime.

“Okay so go.”

“Atsumu, I think you’re a stand-up guy and you’re pretty cute can I love ya.” you said punching Iwa on the arm.

“Y/N, you can’t say that.” Empress said face palming.

“Okay, Atsumu I’ve fallen for you and I can’t get up?”

“No dad jokes Y/N.” Hajime said shaking his head

“Why theyre soo funny, what about Atsumu you’re a pain in my ass.” you said winking at Empress.

“Gosh Y/N! Take this seriously for once.” Hajime said blushing at your obvious innuendo.

“Well how did you two confess you undying love to eachother?” you asked and smiled at both their reactions, knowing that they definitely haven’t done that.

“Just say your confession Y/N,” Empress said rolling her eyes

“Okay Atsumu,” you said taking a deep breath “Ever since I met you after your brother spilt a drink on me at his shop and you tried to cheer me up with your terrible jokes I knew that you were the one for me. I love your passion, your drive your determination to make me feel better all the time even when I don’t need you too. I love being with you and I...”

Hajime looked at you expectedly, “I love you,” you said smiling “There I said it I love you!”

“Oh my gosh Y/N! That was so cute you should definitely sa-”

“What the fuck Y/N!” exclaimed a voice next to you “You love this clown.”

“Who are you calling a clown,” said Iwa squaring up to Atsumu making both you and Empress roll your eyes at the heeping testoterone filling the area.  

“Haji let’s go,” said Empress dragging her boyfriend away “and Y/N I'm pretty sure you two need to talk.”

When Hajime and Empress were an ear shot away, Atsumu looked at you with a glare. “So Y/N, is this what you’re doing now slu-”

“Don’t even go there ‘tsumu, you’re such an ass sometimes.” You say walking away “And by the way I was practicing with Iwa to say I fucking love you, you asshole.”

You already stormed off before Atsumu yelled, “Wait! You love me?”

“Of course I do you ass.” you say scowling.

Atsumu jogs over to you and says, “I love you too Y/N” he picks you up and tosses you about in the air, practically doing sommersaults, “Im so happy! Wait till I tell Osamu bout this he’s probably hasn’t told his girlfriend about this.”

“Babe, they’ve been dating for years” You said with a laugh “But go ahead ‘tsumu tell the world.”

“I’m sorry for misunderstanding things.”

“And...?”

“And I'm sorry for calling Iwa a clown, knowing he would definitely beat my ass.”

“And..?”

“And I'm sorry for being an ass.” he said with his head down.

“You are an ass Atsumu,” you said with a smile “But you’re my favourite pain in the ass.” You said winking at him making him burst out with laughter at your stupid innuedo.

Whenever Atsumu sees Osamu he tells him about how much you both love eachother, which always leads them into an argument about who has the better girlfriend and who loves their girlfriend more which always has you laughing.

AN: do you guys see the connection between the two?? Cause if you see the connection I’LL LOVE YOU FOREVER :3 Hope you guys enjoyed it, what do you guys think?

[seita]

— self pleasure | koutarou bokuto (m.)

pairing: solo bokuto (x his fantasies of f!reader)

genre: smut

wordcount: 𝟷𝟶𝟶𝟽

cw: pure pwp

tags: masturbation, spitting, overstimulation, forced orgasm, wet & messy, cum eating (bokuto eats his own cum im so sorry), whiny!bokuto

note: this is self indulgent bullshit im so sorry. i just like the image of bokuto fucking his fist ive got no other excuse. btw this isn’t fisting, he uses his own fist as like literally a hole to fuck lmao whoops.

— bokuto comes home from a long day, needing to release some tension. it leads to him fucking his own fist.

back to blog navigation.

© all content belongs to seita 2020. do not modify or repost.

Bokuto had had a long day, practice was brutal and he was utterly exhausted. You were away from home for the night and he found himself needing a way to release the stress built up through his hard work. Usually, he would release the built up tension of the day on your beautiful body but alas, he had to find other means.

He laid on the bed, eyes closed as he felt his cock begin to harden in his shorts. He hadn’t even taken a shower yet but, it could wait until after he made a mess of himself. 

Humming at the heating of his body, he reached beneath the band of his pants and gripped his half-hard length. A few quick strokes brought him to full hardness. His thighs trembled at the light stimulation, feeling sensitive and on edge already. The adrenaline and energy that had been running through his veins the entire day having fried his nerves.

Sitting up, he tore his shirt off before pushing his shorts down his hips until he could kick them off the edge of the bed. Spitting in his hand loudly without a care, he wrapped his fingers around his thick shaft. He pictured what you looked like when you bounced on him, your breasts bouncing in time to your movements and the way he could feel you cream down his length. 

Mindlessly, he jerked his hips up into the tight ring made by his own fingers, imagining it was your perfect cunt wrapped around him. He groaned, eyes rolling back beneath his lids as his mouth fell open.

Sitting up suddenly, he spat down onto the head of his cock with a soft ‘puh’ making sure to catch it in his hand to further slick himself up. His spit dripped down his length where he caught the wetness to bring back up to the head. Spitting once more, he repeated the process until he was dripping down to his balls. He knew how wet you got, how messy you could make him and he wanted to match that as best he could since you weren’t there. 

He watched, mesmerized, by the way his hand moved perfectly, gripping tighter as he reached the flared crown of his head. His abs locked up in pleasure as he teased the sensitive spot just beneath the head. Thumbing his tip, he encouraged his cock to drool out more of his precum and he whimpered at the stimulation. 

“Fuck,” he groaned, gasping as he got lost in his own fantasies of you. His eyes fluttered shut once again, he leaned back on one hand, clutching the sheets tightly. 

He could already feel himself growing closer to the edge. It was building quickly and he knew there was no way he could hold it off. So he decided to make it as good as he could. 

It wasn’t something he did very often, because it made him feel so desperate and lewd. Rolling over onto his knees, he buried his face into your pillow, inhaling your sweet, addicting scent that he adored. 

His eyes rolled back in his head once more as he wrapped his hand around his still slick cock. The position caused his precum to drip onto the sheets, becoming heavier the closer he got to his orgasm. Taking a familiar, comfortable position, he held his hand still as he began to fuck into the tight hole his fist made. He whimpered into the pillow as the feeling, tightening the ring to make a smaller hole for him to stuff his fat cock into. 

He wished it was your pretty pussy swallowing him up; the way you whined and came so prettily all over him. He could picture the way you trembled, watching with wide eyes as he split your cunt open — his cock thick and long and filling you so fucking well. He was mesmerized by how you struggled to take him completely every time yet always managed to. His cock was too big for you but fuck if you didn’t lose yourself on him every single time. 

The filthy images of you cumming, gushing and squirting on his length brought him to his own high. He gasped, moaned and whined into your pillow as he shot his hot load onto the sheets. He continued to fuck his fist, milking himself of a few more jets. 

As he slowed, he realized he could probably force another orgasm out of his sensitive cock. He sat back, pulling his face from your pillow to sit on his heels. His hand was soaked in his own cum but he used it to aid the fast movements he resumed on his length.

“S-Sensitive,” he whimpered to no one, tossing his head back as he continued to fist his throbbing, sensitive cock. He squirmed where he sat, sweat dripping down his nude body as he felt tears sting his eyes.

His whole body was tense, trembling under the onslaught of overstimulation. Every nerve in his body was telling him to stop but he couldn’t. 

He needed to cum again.

Looking down, he watched the mess of his own cum drip down his fingers and balls. He felt so filthy. Finally, he reached that desperate high once again. 

His mouth fell open, no sound escaping as he watched his own cock pathetically drool the last of his cum his balls had to offer. He released his softening length with a sigh, bringing his filthy hand up to his face to admire the mess he’d made. 

Unable to resist, he dipped two lithe digits into his mouth with a sigh. He felt his cock twitch at the burst of his own cum on his tongue. He whimpered, pulling his digits out to lick up the palm of his hand, swallowing it down eagerly. 

Having enough, he felt his heart rate settle finally and decided it was about time to take that shower. He couldn’t wait until you got home though.

Because he was going to wreck you.

[daddynegandesires]

Secrets chapter 3

Summary: ellies birthday and mothers day is coming up as emotions and pent up anger are spiraling between you, negan, and jack while more and more secrets begin to unfold.

18+

Warming: nsfw, fluff, kink, depression, abuse

Sorry for the late update on this chapter its kind of a short one ive just have been going through some personal things and havent found the motivation to finish this one yet.❤ i hope you all like it!❤

--------------------------------

--------------------

You and negan haven't spoke in a few days ellies birthday is today and you have been busy decorating. Negan is suppose to be picking up the cake at the store. jack has returned back from his "business trip" withq an odd hickey on his neck that keeps gawking at you everytime you speak to him. You want to avoid conflict because you arent so innocent yourself after what happen with negan last time you saw him but thats just not who you are....you have to confront him but you also dont want to ruin ellies day infront of everyone.

"Hey jack, do you mind helping me with this streamer" you called out to him from the ladder

"Sure hun" he took the streamer from your hand taping it up to the wall

"Thank you.....uh negan should be here soon with her cake" you said folding up the step ladder

"I could of went and grabbed it" he scoffs

"I uh..well sorry i didnt know it was a big deal" you try to laugh it off politely

"Dont even worry about it...." He walks past you ramming his ahoulder into you heading outside

Negan had arrive with the cake and so did a few of ellies friends and your mother. You and your mothers relationship really has never been that great but you try to make peace with it for ellies sake. Negan came in with a huge gift box all wrapped in pink with a bow.

" i thought we agreed nothing crazy" you whispered to him

"Whaat...can i not spoil my girl" negan grins at you

Ellie runs out of her room her eyes light up at the size of the gift her dad got her.

"Mommy look at this...its humongo!" She says messing with the bow

"I see honey..dont mess with it yet" you giggle

"Where is your boy toy.." His tongue slides across his bottom lip

You kept silent while negan stared you down waiting for a response but nothing came out his eyes were burning a hole through you he always knew when shit was up.

"Ah i see....the silent treatment" folding his arms

Negan walks off to go play with ellie and say hello to a few people when your mother walks up to you.

"Hey mom..." You say emotionless

"What is negan doing here.." She asks

"Mom...please dont. Thats ellies dad. I told you we are trying to work on things for ellies sake" you say annoyed.

"Well...once a cheater always a cheater. Im just saying" as she sips on her cup of wine walking away

A few hours have passed and ellie got to blow out her candles and eat cake. Jack still hasnt said much to you throughout the whole party and its more than obvious that negan is starting to catch on im just hoping he doesn't notice the hicky on his neck. Ellie has been bugging you about negans gift so you were going to let her open it.

"Ellie open it up over here sweetie so everyone can see" you say smiling

Ellie quikly rips the hot pink rapping paper off and squeals in excitement as she realizes its a electric scooter that she has been wanting. Negan was standing by your side with his hand sneakily rested on your lower back with a huge smile on his face.

"Oh my god you got me that scooter!!" Ellie begins jumping up and down

"Negan....those cost alot" you whispered in his ear

"dont worry about it....i got it taken car of" he says sternly

"Lets take it outside!!" Negans runs over and picks it up in excitment with all of the kids following him outside to ride on the scooter. You were throwing away dirty plates when jack came up to you

"So you want to explain why you and negan have been so close" he quietly says to you

You instantly start to burn with rage as he asks you that knowing he has been keeping things from you too and the fact his assistant melissa has been speaking to him inappropriately. You were holing the knife in your hand for cutting the cake reminding you of the incident that happened between you and negan once you found out he was cheating. you froze and gripped tightly on the knife thinking of how to approach this.

"You're a fucking whore..." He spat at you

"Jack.....get the fuck away from me" you quietly say

"Yeah i bet thats what you want.....so he can fuck you" he says through gritted teeth

"Its. Ellies. Birthday.....fucking knock it off we can settle this later" you slowly set the knife down unclenching your fist

Jack stands there glaring at you with his jaw clecnhed before giving up and walking away. You let out a sigh of relief and pour yourself a glass of wine. You take a sip closing your eyes feeling like everything is going in slomotion in that moment when you here yelling outside and notice its negan and jack. You drop your glass spilling your wine everywhere running outside.

"Back the fuck off man!" Jack yells with his fist balled up

"Ohh...you really want to go there dude..." Negan laughs

"You are fucking (y/n) and i know it!" Jack lunges towards him throwing a punch hitting negan in the face making him stumble

Negan catches his balace reaching up to his face touching where jack punched him in the mouth realizing he is bleeding negan licks the blood off his lips and lets out a sinister almost scary deep chuckle.

"Oh...you fucked up." Negan lunges towards jack football tackling him to the ground he starts punching jack over and over again blood all over his fists

"Negan!!!...no! Stop!" You rush over trying to pry negan off of jack

"Negan stop for ellie please!" You begin to cry struggling to finally get him off causing you to fall backwards with negan on you

"You are a dead fucking man!....now get the fuck off my property..." Negan threats

You push negan off to go check on jack you try to get jack to respond to you and see if he is okay but he just spits in your face shoving you away causing you to fall before you know it negan charges back over and starts beating the shit out of him all you can do is scream at them and cry. Through tear filled eyes you notice the cops rushing up the street pulling into the drive way the last thing you remember is the cops pulling negan off and everything went black.

---------------------------------------------

Jack and negan were both arrested but were soon let go apparently i had fainted due to stress and dehydration they kept me in the hospital until i was better. You kicked jack out of the house and you haven't spoke to negan since ellies birthday. Things have been rough being alone for ahwile and ellie was getting upset about not seeing her dad.

Text from negan:

Hey....im coming by

You looked at your phone to see a text from negan but you just ignored it and continued to cook some food for ellie. There was a knock at the door you sighed annoyingly before unlocking the deadbolt and opening the door to negans innocent brown eyes staring back at you. before you could give him a chance to speak you shut the door in his face but he quickly caught it in time with his foot in the doorway before it closed.

"Negan...ellie should be home. She is still upset" you sigh

"Thats okay i want to make it up to you two" he says pushing the door open coming inside

You just stand there silent with your arms crossed untill you hear ellies bus coming down the road and before you know it she busts through the door yelling.

"Mommmyyyy! Happy mothers dayzz!" Ellies runs up to you handing you a picture she made at school

"Awe...thank you sweet heart its gorgeous" you took the pink paper from her smiling and when to hang it on the fridge

"Look i want to take you two out to dinner...its mothers day and you deserve it..look i know i fucked up but that asshole had it coming" negan says

"Negan dont.....go ask Ellie she is the real one you need to be apologizing to not me" you stare at the ground avoiding eye contact.

"Ohh ellie daddy wants to talk to you!" He walks off to her room

-----------------------------------------------

You, negan, and ellie were all out at dinner at your favorite steakhouse enjoying your meal when the waiter brought a bottle of wine

"Negan....i cant afford that" you quietly say

"Ah ah....you deserve it i mean you are the best mom ever" he winks at you popping the lid off pouring wine into your glass

"Thanks..." You shyly say before taking a sip

"So.....the school fired me" negan cleared his throat

You choked on your drink hearing the words that had just came out of negans mouth

"What?..how come" you say wipping wine off your chin

"Well....they dont want me as a coach anymore since what happened at ellies birthday. They say its wildly inappropriate and against policy to still have me there" he bites in his steak

"What are you going to do..." You ask worried

"Ohhh no biggie i always have things taken care of" he smiles at you

"If you need anything im here..." You look up at him

" i know....thank you" he reaches across the table holding your hand

The three of you finish up dinner afterwards you all go for a late walk through the park. It felt nice to get out and have some fresh air after what happended at the party. Your phone kept buzzing off the hook of texts from jack you kept trying to hide it from negan to not let him worry. You felt bad hiding it from negan but you knew it would start a fight but you also didnt want to let jack go without some talking. Negan took you and ellie back home ellie ran inside and got ready for bed.

"I know he is talking to you..." Negan says sternly while placing one hand against the wall beside your head

"Negan....can we not talk about this right now" you say turning your head away from him

"No!...you will look at me when im speaking to you" negan grabs ahold of your chin forcing you to look at him

"Yes....yes im still talking to him.." You say embarassed

"Why....he is such a load of whoreshit....im standing right infront of you (y/n)...im here now! Take me back please. Im an honest man now!" Negan growls

" get...off of me!" You scream and shove him away from you and begin to walk angrily down the road

"(Y/n) get back here now!...where the fuck do you think you are going!" Negan trys to catch up with you when it suddenly starts raining

"Negan stop trying so hard!...this is going nowhere!" You say crying

"Why do you keep saying that!...i want this to work!" Negan finally catches up to you grabbing you by the arm spinning you around

"......well i dont..." You choked on those words as they slipped out of your mouth it felt like your heart had just stopped for a split second it killed you to say that to negan but it had to be done

"You....dont want this." He said quietly and upset with rain drops running down his perfect face

"Negan....i.... I cant. You have to let me go" you say caressing his face" you said giving him a half smile with a single tear rolling down your cheek

"W....what about ellie.....thats my babygirl" Negan begans to tear up pulling you into a hug

"You can still be in ellies life.....i start therapy next tuesday" you say ending the hug

"You can talk to me (y/n)" negan sniffles

"There are just things that just feel easier letting out to a stranger sometimes..."

"I love you....." Negan says bresthlessly

"....i love you too but from a distance.....i have boundaries set now negan"

You and negan began to walk back to the house getting inside you hand him a towel to dry himself off. Negan follows you to the bedroom.

"There are still some of your clothes in the closet...." You say facing away from him

"You still have some of my old clothes here...." Negan opens the door seeing his shirts still hanging in the same spot before he moved out

"I didnt know if you still wanted them or not..." You say nervously

"Its okay. Thank you" negan takes off his soaking wet shirt switching it out with an old faded band shirt

"You can sleep on the couch if you would like..." You offer him

"You sure you are going to be okay with that?" He raises an eyebrow at you

"Yeah....plus its been lonely here just me and ellie" you chuckle handing him a blanket

Negan takes the blanket from you before turing around to open the bedroom door to leave. As soon as the door shut you quietly sobbed making sure it wasnt loud enough for negan to hear. You wiped your tears away before getting yourself ready for bed. You tossed and turned for most of the night your head filled with unnecessary thoughts and cenarios. You just wanted all of this pain to go away you dont know what you are doing with yourself anymore the only thing that keeps you holding on is ellie and negan.

----------------------

------------------

[higherfurther-romanova]

Then Finish It. (Pt. 1)

Warnings: Heavy angst, language, murder, near death, injuries, arguments, possible dark themes. 

Word Count: 1,005

A/N: Hi… I’m so sorry. (no im not) It may seem like Bucky and reader were dating but that is not the case, they were just really good friends... it may not have been a healthy friendship but that’s not either of their faults. Who knows how long this is gonna be HAHAHA. How much pain do I want to cause you guys... hm. (I would also suggest that you play some sad music while reading this, that goes for the whole series)

Translations: Где он= Where is he?

Pt. 1 | Pt. 2 | Pt. 3 |  Pt. 4 | Pt. 5 | Pt. 6 | Finale |

~~~~~~~~~~~⧗~~~~~~~~~~~

You, Bucky, and Natalia go way back before you could remember. While in the red room, he trained you and Natalia. It’s safe to say that you’re a bit terrified of him, but you could always catch a glimpse of regret in the man’s eyes when he yelled at you. Some days he would be softer and gentler towards you; other days, he came off cold and menacing. The memories of his cold metal hand wrapped around your throat, throwing you into walls, and threatening to slam your head into the concrete still haunt you. You now recognize that it’s not his fault. The days he would spend protecting you after a bad nightmare or when they’d beat you down emotionally and physically still linger in your mind. You could never forget him; he was one of your best friends, the same as Natasha. You loved them both dearly, but he’s changed. He slammed you into a car windshield with no remorse, shot Natasha in the shoulder, and almost choked Steve to death, thankfully, you’d gained enough strength to save the man. 

~~~~~~~~~~~⧗~~~~~~~~~~~

“It’s not his fault…” You mumble to Sam as you and Steve make your way to the Helicarriers. 

“I know, and that’s what’s sad.” He nods. 

Natasha was taking care of Alexander Pierce while you and the boys were going to stop your best friend from doing damage that cannot be undone. 

Steve nods over at Sam, signalling for him to go ahead and fly up there and do what he can while you and Steve make your way up as quickly as you can. 

“Status, Romanov?” You ask into the coms. 

“So far, so good. Be careful, dip shit.” She chuckles. 

“Always.” You smirk. 

~~~~~~~~~~~⧗~~~~~~~~~~~

From the second you got to the top to now was a blur. Sam was thrown down, luckily he’s safe, he just can’t fly back up, Steve was thrown across the aircraft, and here you are, stuck in a choke-hold like old times. 

“Please recognize me…” You grunt out, pulling at his hand, knowing it’s useless. 

Before the edges of your vision turn black, Steve throws his shield and hits Bucky in the back of his head, causing him to turn around and catch his shield in his metal arm, releasing you. You stand up, quickly knocking his legs out from under him. Before you can get a hit on him, you’re knocked to the ground hard. 

“Don’t forget who trained you…” He growls. 

“Buck…” You choke out. 

“No.” He barks. 

Steve comes running up behind you but is completely knocked off of the Helicarier, leaving the two of you alone. He gets many clean hits on you, one… one, two… one, two, three… one, two, three, four… the pattern he hits in, the pattern he trained you with. You push him off of you with the little strength you have left and stand up. 

“Buck… please.” You beg. 

“YOU’RE MY MISSION.” He growls, charging towards you, you barely dodge him. 

“You’re my friend…” You pant. 

“NO.” He yells, kicking you back slightly. 

You stumble back and then fall to your knees. “I’m not gonna fight you.” 

He growls and charges towards you, punching you. One… one, two… one, two, three… one, two, three, four. 

“Your name… is James Buchanan Barnes…” You turn your head to the side and spit out blood. 

“NO!” He screams, hitting you again. One… 

“You’re my friend…” You repeat. 

“YOU’RE MY MISSION.” He snaps roughly.

“Then finish it… because I love you for infinity…” You breathe heavily. 

He looks at you as if he’d taken one last gasp of sanity. Then his eyes fog with anger and sadness. He punches you more, one, two… one, two, three… one, two, three… He screams as he hits you one last time, sending you flying through the air. Four. 

You thought that was it. You close your eyes, waiting for your back to hit the concrete, but it doesn’t. Your body grows cold; your lungs fill with water, and your eyes shoot open. You don’t have the energy to drag yourself to the surface, so you just float there until you slightly feel someone grab you by your arm and drag you out. He came to get you… 

~~~~~~~~~~~⧗~~~~~~~~~~~

You wake up to hear soft sobbing coming from the woman to the right of you and a quiet “motherfucker” from the man to your left. 

“Где он?” You mumble. 

“(Y/N)?!” Nat snaps her head up. 

“Где он?” You repeat. 

She glances over at Fury, and he nods at her. 

“He’s back on the run.” She admits. “I’m sorry-” 

“It’s not your fault.” Your accent is heavy. 

You pull the IV out of your arm and stand up, despite the excruciating pain. 

“Woah, slow down, Agent (y/l/n).” Fury puts a hand on your shoulder. 

“I’m fine.” You brush him off. 

“Sit down, Agent. That’s an order.” He commands. 

You sigh and comply. 

Fury gives Natasha a look that she completely understands. He wants her to convince you not to go after him. She nods as he leaves the room. 

“Babe, look at me.” She tilts your head up. 

It takes you a second to process what she just said. You both realize at the same moment, and you see the sheer panic in her eyes. You know you love her, you always have, but it’s not like you could bring yourself to admit to that. The idea of love scares, no terrifies you, but it’s not like you would come to terms with that either. You maintain your neutral expression and ask in a monotonous voice, “What did you just call me?” 

“Nothing (y/n)... It just slipped out. I’m sorry.” She rambles. 

~~~~~~~~~~~⧗~~~~~~~~~~~

[its-ya-boi-autumn]

Omg omg omg its me AGAIN. Idk how its possible but im in love all over again. I was thinking, like idk ive got so many ideas but like what if one day adeline is like 15 and she kills someone out of instinct, rage etc. And shes rlly guilty and chrollo happens to be in the same city/area n sees n hes gives her the talk??? Like "it is what it is". Maybe even helps her hide the body n evidence so his ex s/o doesn't flip? Totally understand if u dont wanna do 2 requests in a row, love ya xx.

I'm totally fine with doing two in a row baby~ I'm just a little slow is all 🤣 I've had a lot of social interaction going on today and then I came home and now I gotta fix my room so if this doesn't come out the same day I apologize 😅 (probably won't, I'm just super tired) Warning: abuse and violence

Adeline’s chest was heaving, her throat feeling as if she were breathing fire instead of air. Her chest and cheeks were colored an angry red and her legs were beginning to go numb. She couldn’t fall now, not when he was quick on her heels. Tears stained her cheeks, still falling from her eyes. The adrenaline continued to push her forward. To keep her running as fast as she could. The ponytail that held her hair up finally gave way, allowing her long black hair to block some of her vision when she turned around for a split second.

Danny was still too close for her to even begin to slow, his stamina almost inhuman.

A sob wracked her entire body at the sight and she nearly tripped. Her eyes frantically darted everywhere. Where could she run that would slow him down? Could she hide anywhere? Was there anyone else around? She had to find something to at least slow him down. Was there anything at all? Running straight through the pathway in the woods had proven to be a bad idea after she came out into a vast meadow of nothing but grass and dirt patches. 

“Adeline-”

“Leave me alone!” her voice screeched into the evening air, tearing at the tissue in her throat. She prayed her voice would be heard by someone. Anyone. Danny’s pace picked up, his arms quickly enveloping her, crushing her ribs.

“Adeline Lucilfer-”

“LET GO OF ME!” her fist reached up, coming into contact with his jaw and forcing his head up roughly. Danny released her, his hands covering his mouth at the throbbing pain he was probably experiencing. Adeline wasted no time to be proud of herself and began to run again, but her legs weren’t having it. The short time she had been stopped caused her muscles to relax and they wouldn’t cooperate anymore. Instantly, she fell forward, trying to force herself up again and keep going. She heard the deep groan of pain resonating in Danny’s chest. Her heart raced. What could she do? Her legs were rendered completely useless right now and there was nothing she could defend herself with other than her own two fists.

All the running she had done was starting to catch up to her too, her lungs having a hard time allowing her to breathe and her throat burning. Her body wouldn’t help her this time. She was sure she was done for. Adeline flipped onto her back, trying to almost crab walk away while Danny was still getting his bearings. When his eyes met hers, they were swirling with nothing but pure malice. He’d had enough.

“Adeline...” his voice was soft despite his hard face. Her own eyes grew wide, tears once again blurring her vision. The only thing she could actually see was Danny’s broad shape standing to his full height, strolling towards her slowly.

“No... no, no, no, no- Danny please, just leave me alone!” she opted to beg for him, hoping that some slimmer of his good side would show through, showing him what he was actually doing. What he was about to do. Danny didn’t seem to notice her begging or at the very least he didn’t seem to care. Adeline pushed herself up to run but she wasn’t fast enough. A harsh blow was received directly between her shoulder blades, forcing any air in her lungs out within a matter of seconds. She choked, falling onto her chest again. Coughing, she made another attempt to steady herself, but another hit was taken on her lower back. It didn’t hurt as bad as the first one, but the initial shock caused her to hesitate for just a moment too long. A rough hand snatched up her arm and suddenly her body was flipped onto its back. Danny dropped to his knees on top of her and she watched his fist slam into her chest.

Another hit.

Another.

And another.

Her face.

Her chest.

Her stomach.

Adeline was limp on the ground, her breathing becoming more and more labored as the sun set behind her. Her vision had gone completely blurry and she could feel the large bruises forming on her skin. He was brutal. Adeline was only 15, this shouldn’t of been happening. She should have listened to you. She should have listened when you told her to find Chrollo and bring him to her. She should have listened when you said to have Chrollo handle ‘daddy’. But she didn’t. Adeline thought she could protect you from Danny. She wanted to be the hero.

“Are you done running, Adeline?” his voice broke her thoughts. She couldn’t even bring herself to make eye contact with him, still watching the sun fall below the horizon, stars beginning to twinkle in the distance.

“Answer me.” the command shook her.

“Yes...” she tried to form the word properly but her tongue was too big for her mouth all of a sudden.

“Yes what?”

“Yes... daddy...” his sexualization of the word sickened her, but she couldn’t bear to be hit again. She might go unconscious if he struck another blow. He stood, taking her by the shirt collar and making her stand. She stumbled, coming across something in her jacket pocket as her hand fell in while she stabilized herself on her knees.

Her house key.

Hope pushed through her misery. She could put an end to this. An end to him.

“Hurry up, your mother can’t be alone for too long, not with that Chrollo guy running around still. Fucking scumbag..” Danny scoffed, turning to face her again. It hurt her to hear him call Chrollo such a thing. Chrollo had been nothing but sweet you her and you when he came over to see you. She wasn’t sure of why it was her specifically that he wanted to see, but that was probably what you meant to talk to her about today.

“Let’s go!” he ordered, waiting impatiently. Adeline didn’t move, thinking her plan out of how to end this man. This horrible, sick man. Her hand stayed within her pocket, fingering the key in thought. Danny’s teeth ground together, his feet stomping up to the young girl.

“Was I not clear enough? I said let’s go-” when he raised his hand to hit her again, he left himself open. Adeline slid the key out of her pocket and dug it across his throat. At first, she thought she failed as no blood even shown. What gave it away was Danny’s mere expression of surprise. An uneven white slit on his neck turned dark red as it spotted with blood. Then, it poured. The red liquid ran down his chest, leaving the man choking on himself. Adeline slowly backed away, hoping he wouldn’t charge at her in a spur of the moment. Danny did no such thing, solely focused on the fact that his throat had been slit. The fact that he was going to die. Adeline didn’t know what else to do other than watch him struggle to breathe. His hands covered his throat for a moment and wiped at the blood, pulling them away again to see the bright red on his fingers.

“You... you cut me...” his voice was weak and shaky. Adeline didn’t reply. She backed away more, falling onto the ground as her legs fell numb from running. She kept backing away from him, trying to keep her distance.

“Adeline...” he was trying to make her feel like shit, and it was working. What had she done? She just killed the man she called her father and for what? Her mother? Herself? She didn’t even know the answer as he crawled forward. She moved backwards, keeping her distance from him. Danny fell to his knees before her, hand outstretched.

“Why would you... why would you do this?” he kept going as if he didn’t know. As if he hadn’t been the cause of so many sleepless night for both Adeline and yourself. How was he not dead yet? He had to die soon, this was too painful for her to watch. Danny balanced himself on his free hand while the other tried to hold his neck closed, stopping himself from bleeding out. Faster, he scrambled towards her. Adeline held no mercy in her leg as it surged outward, kicking him in the nose. He recoiled on the dirt. Crying. Danny had never cried before, in fact, it was always Adeline and you who cried because of him. Nonetheless, listening to the man sob, helpless and dying in the dust made Adeline nauseous. She couldn’t take this, she couldn’t just sit her and watch him bleed out. But she felt like she couldn’t leave him alone here either. Dying alone was her worst fear. The knowledge of murdering somebody and leaving them to nature made her wretch up her dinner. Doubling over, she puked to the sound of Danny’s final sobs.

Her hands trembled as she held the key in her hand. Why hadn’t he continued to fight her? He still had a chance and he just laid there, surprised by her courage to go so far as to slit his throat. Again, her stomach shoved food up and out of her esophagus, a horrid stench clouding her senses. Her shoulders shook as she lay there on the ground. She didn’t even hear the footsteps come up from behind her.

“Adeline?” a gentle male voice startled her, making her gag on her own vomit. She turned, her eyes meeting Chrollo’s. His brows we’re furrowed, worry obvious in his features.

“What happened?” he kneeled down to her, ignoring her mess underneath her and behind her, curled up in the dirt. Dead.

“I... I can’t-” and she threw up again. Chrollo’s hands worked themselves into her hair, pulling it back for her to keep it out of her face.

“You’re okay, I’m right here.” he shushed her gently, his free hand rubbing her back in an attempt to comfort her shaking form. Another vile pool retched out of her mouth, hacking and dry heaving following suit.

Eventually, she managed to calm down. Adeline sat up and wiped her mouth with her jacket sleeve, quickly becoming disgusted with the action and discarding of the attire altogether. She wheezed against her sore throat, the tops of her lungs burning again like when she was running.

“Can you tell me what happened?” Chrollo didn’t even seem affected by the dead man right next to him, even taking a chance to glance at him. His eyes didn’t linger too long on Danny, obviously more worried about Adeline herself than anything. When his eyes met hers again, she couldn’t help but let those tears from before slip out and onto her bruised cheeks and chest. Chrollo didn’t push her any further, instead moving closer to her and embracing her. Every instinct told her to push him away, that she was a monster and that she didn’t deserve this kind of treatment, not after killing somebody. But her weakness didn’t allow her to fight back and she simply melted against Chrollo’s chest, sobbing and quaking. You always told Adeline that Chrollo was a sweet-tempered man, that he was always patient with you and with his friends. It seemed you had been right. He didn’t force Adeline to tell him anything, he didn’t shove her away or treat her unkindly. He knew she wasn’t a bad person and that she was in a state of distress. He had to of known that Adeline wouldn’t kill someone without having a reason. A good one at that.

“Now, Adeline,” he started, lifting her head up to look at him in the eyes. The same eyes as her own. Almost like staring back at her own reflection. It was strange, “I do want to hear about this, however we don’t have much time. We need to dispose of this immediately.” she could hear the urgency edging in his voice, but he still held a level of stability. Adeline nodded, pressing her hands into the dirt to push her body back upright. He followed her over to Danny and thought for a moment, hand on his chin.

“Okay, I’ll have someone take care of this here in a second. I’ll call him.” Chrollo was speaking more to himself than to Adeline, pulling out his phone and dialing a number before letting it ring. She didn’t hear the other end pick up, but it was apparently instant, as Chrollo began speaking to the other man. He gave him their location and the situation at hand, even mentioning his daughter.

At first, this confused Adeline. She wasn’t his daughter. She was Danny’s daughter... her brows furrowed and her arms crossed over her chest. What was he talking about? Sure they had the same eyes and the same hair, and even the same nose now that she really looked at him. You had never told her anything about Chrollo being your father.

“Alright, he’ll be here shortly-” he started after hanging up.

“You called me your daughter..?” she knew it was rude to cut him off, but she couldn’t help it. She felt like she needed to know, felt as if she had the right to know. Chrollo turned his attention her, setting his phone back into his pocket.

“Yes. I did. Y/n never told you?” even through the monotone sound Adeline swore she could hear the hint of pain there. You told her Chrollo didn’t feel much, but when he did they were pretty strong emotions.

“No...” it was the only word she could think of to respond with. At first, she didn’t know how to feel. She didn’t blame you or anything, understanding that she was young and you must not have wanted to confuse her. You may have even planned to tell her now. Then the reason behind Danny’s outrage hit her like a train.

She gasped out loud, her facial expression giving her away. Chrollo’s own features formed into a visual of worry.

“What? What’s wrong?” almost as if it was his instinct. That gave her even more evidence that he was truly her father. Danny never worried about her, but any slight movement drove Chrollo to panic.

“How long until that guy gets here?”

“Already behind you baby~” a deep voice sounded from behind her. Adeline turned around but was met with a stomach instead of a head. Craning her neck up, she found an exceptionally tall man with tan skin and fluffy grey hair. He smiled down at her.

“So this is Adeline boss?” he was addressing Chrollo, who nodded in response.

“Yes, she’s just finding this out as well. Adeline, meet Uvogin.” he explained. Uvogin made a face down at the both of them.

“Wait, you’re saying y/n never told you Chrollo was your daddy?” he kneeled down to her level, she could see his level of confusion even better now. She shook her head.

“Honestly, I suspected considering that my appearance is much like that of his own. Especially in the eyes and the nose,” she turned to face Chrollo who was also watching her, “and I looked nothing like Dan either.” she explained, finding herself being rather analytical. It wasn’t unlike her, as she grew she came to terms with the fact that she enjoyed learning and finding out new things. You always told her that she was intelligent. Uvogin laughed though, standing back up all the way.

“Damn boss she even sounds like you. It’s adorable. Anyway, where do you want me to put this thing? I assume this is Danny?” Uvogin wrapped his hand around the corpse’s waist, throwing it over his shoulder. The sight made Adeline sick and she doubled over again, nearly throwing up. Chrollo was at her side in an instant, holding on to her to make sure she didn’t fall.

“Sorry babe, I forgot you’re not used to that.” Uvogin turned his head away in apology. Adeline raised her hand to signal that he was fine but didn’t turn around for another minute or so, Chrollo soothing her the whole time. She felt dizzy when she met Uvogin’s eyes. The little names her called her were of some comfort, considering this must have been Chrollo’s–her father’s–friend. 

“Well, I’ll just take it with me so you two can have your moment or whatever. Tell her everything.” Uvogin sent a finger gun Chrollo’s way and sprinted off, leaving the Chrollo and Adeline alone. She was felt slightly perturbed by Uvogin’s absences, it was so quick.

And tell her everything is just what Chrollo did.

Chrollo told her about how he made you leave in an effort to keep you safe. He told her about his background, about the troupe, about you. About how much he missed you. About how badly he wanted to see Adeline born but he couldn’t because he was too far out. Adeline didn’t interrupt with anything, though she still had so many questions, but he kept going. He must have wanted to enforce as much trust in her as he could. It was working.

“I’m sorry for not being there and I’m even more apologetic for driving your mother away, it was for her safety...” his eyes never left hers.

“I understand, and mom does too. She was just upset.” Adeline accepted this apology even though she felt like he shouldn’t even be apologizing. It wasn’t his fault. He was just trying to protect you the best way he could think of. Chrollo let out a breath she didn’t know he was holding.

“Now, please, explain to me why you killed Danny?” there was no filter. It made Adeline’s stomach churn at the thought, the feeling of the house key tearing through his skin. She took a deep breath.

“I think mom was going to explain everything to me,” her voice had become shaky. She sat on the ground and curled into herself to gain some comfort as Chrollo followed, an arm draping over her shoulders and keeping her close, “and I think Danny somehow found out... and got upset about it. He liked when I called him ‘daddy’ almost in a like sexual way...” she tried to explain without crying but the word was almost triggering. She hated the way he’d make her use it. He become irrationally upset with her if she called him dad instead of daddy. It was disgusting...

“And I don’t know why... I think he... he just...” she was desperately trying to think of her next words. What could she say next? How should this all go? Chrollo was patient with her the whole time, never getting upset with her or scoffing. He just listened. She was so confused on everything that had just happened and the fact that it all happened so quickly.

“I don’t know, all I remember was that mom said she was going to talk to me and then I went in my room for like 5 minutes and then I heard her screaming,” she sniffled, not able to hold back her tears again. Her head fell into her knees for a few minutes before coming back up to take a deep breath, “and a loud bang against the-the counter. Dan was yelling at her about something, I can’t remember. So I went down to see her and make sure he didn’t hit her like I thought he did, but he did. Chrollo he hurt her...” Adeline was full on sobbing again, feeling another round of bile ease it’s way into her mouth. Chrollo’s grip on her tightened and he rocked her, letting one of his hands rub her arm. She laid her head on his shoulder and he rested his chin on her temple.

“Is she okay now?”

“I don’t know. She told me to just go and get help but instead I got upset and threw the pan she was cooking with at him. Obviously he got mad and started chasing me, so I tried to defend myself as best I could and-”

“It’s okay, I understand. It’s alright...” he continued his motions, keeping her at bay from breaking.

“Do you think you can take me to y/n?” Chrollo asked after Adeline had calmed down. She nodded, standing again.

“Yeah, I wanna make sure she’s okay after all of that. He didn’t get to hurt her too bad that I knew of.” she wiped the tears away with her hand, searching for her jacket somewhere. She found it next to a bush along with her bloody house key. Picking both items up she led Chrollo home, hoping to find you there, okay and at the very least, resting.

[sweater-daddiesdumbdork]

hi💕 did you get my ask yesterday? anyway it’s okay if you didn’t, i just got another idea because i’m feeling shitty today, what about chris and you liking each other but you don’t want to say anything because you don’t feel worthy of him so when he insinuates you just dismiss him and he thinks you don’t like him like super angsty but happy ending?

This one was fun, I hope I got that bit of angsty feel to it, while keeping it light hearted. If he ever told me he had feelings for me, I would be all adkfjakldfjqier HOT MESS. Lol. If you like this kind of theme, @jtargaryen18 has a great chapter one with this feel called Jealous Guy with Chris x Reader. Its so good! 

You looked at Chris as you popped open his fridge, and stuck your head in. “Buddy, if you are out of beer before this bbq even begins, can we even call it a bbq?” Straightening and looking at the thread bare shelves, you arch a brow. Did he even eat?

“Its out in the garage Y/N, trust me I know better then not to have beer.” He rolls his eyes at you, making burger patties and setting them on a platter, a splash of Worcester sauce, salt, pepper. Yea good enough. You make your way to the garage through the kitchens side door and grab two bottles. Okay, thats better. He had a full fridge in the garage, as well as the extras to bring out into the back yard when they go to set up.

Going back in, you make sure the door is firmly shut, outside was sweltering already, and you considered the idea that you all maybe should have extra ice on hand. “Yes I got plenty of ice to” Chris says with a grin as he rips off some saran wrap and covers the burgers before handing you the platter to place into his fridge.

“I promise, I only asked you here to hang out. I got all the rest covered." Chris moved to wash his hands and you hip check the fridge shut.

"Okay! Okay! I give! I'm here.... Only as a guest...."

He paused, knowing it was coming.

".... Who feels like she should help you get ready."

That earned you a hand towel being chucked at you, the two of you laughing as you both headed out to his patio, calling Dodger to join you two, and Chris snagged his sunglasses while waiting for his pup to join you two.

The two of you has been best friends for many years, it was an easy going, no expectation kinda deal. There we're times, you wanted to take it further, you knew those little over the top things he did privately for his girlfriend's, after all you had helped him brainstorm a few of them. But they were never for you, always the best friend, you weren't complaining. You valued this, but you wondered what it could have been like.

You were out of his league anyways, you knew that, he knew that. Life is what it is. These were your thoughts on the subject.

But the past year he pulled back from that scene. Seemed to focus on himself, what he wanted to accomplish after his Marvel stint. You had asked him a couple times if he was seeing anyone. Chris would just kind of shrug, become elusive in his answers. "He, I'm to busy"

Somehow you would never catch his glance your way when you would go back to what you were doing. He was not to busy, he was conflicted.

You were his best friend. He didn't want to ruin one of his most valued relationships by asking for more. Even if it could be the best thing in his life.

"When's everyone supposed to get here?" You ask, as you move over to sit on the edge of his in ground pool. Kicking off your flip flops and lowering to dip your toes in, and sinking your leg in as you sat down, careful with the glass bottle. He loped over next to you, already barefoot, he lowered next to you and took a drag before he set it next to yours.

"Couple hours yet, although Scott and Zach will probably be by sooner."

"They are so damn cute" you remarked, having just met Scotts boyfriend a few weeks ago when you were invited to a party they were throwing

Chris chuckled softly, watching Dodger on the other side of the pool, rubbing himself in the freshly cut grass, staining his white fur green. "They really are, and Scotts so happy, probably the happiest ive seen him in a long time." You picked up on that wistful note, glancing over at him and let your shoulder nudge him. "Did I just hear a note of longing Christopher, Mr. I like being a bachelor?"

You were only teasing, but he looked thoughtful at you, blue eyes scanning over your face, and you felt that all familiar tingle flushing the tops of your cheeks. Damn it y/n, check yourself woman.

"Well maybe, yea. I would like something more then the occasional fling, and just sex. But I'm not sure she be interested in me like that. We've never discussed it, and shes never necessarily hinted in more then what we got."

You, so completely not picking up on what he was really saying, cause in your mind, he couldn't ever be into you. "Well doofus, you have to tell her. Come on, your a catch Chris. Any woman would be happy with you, and with luck, she will make you happy to." You tipped back your bottle, the icy cold beer tingling your lips in that delicious way, your tongue would swipe along your bottom lip, Chris trying to keep himself from getting to distracted.

Playing with the neck of his bottle, he sloshed it a bit, and then set it aside before taking a drink from it. “Okay, I will. Y/N, what do you say, would you like to go out on a date with me?” You just about choked on your beer, sputtering and he reached over to tap his hand against your back. “Jesus Christ woman, breath!”

“You-you want to go out, with me? why in the world would you want to...?” Your voice drifted off, and Chris arched his brows, reaching out to take your hand, which you let him. Still shocked at his question.

“Really Y/N? You cant really be questioning why? Ive known you for years. We have fun together, you already know about all the risks that come to dating me. Youve never, wondered about what it would be like for us? Cause I have many times.”

“Well yea Chris, I mean... ive noticed, dont get me wrong. But im me... your you, it just...” You gave a shrug, not really wanting to say those words. Chris tilted his head, blue eyes searching for what you werent exactly spitting out, and shook his head.

“I dont get what you mean Y/N, what does that have to do with anything?”

“Come on Chris”pulling back your hand, you splashed your leg a bit while drawing it out, and wrapping your arm around it as you bent it, watching the water run down to the tips of your toes, suddenly they were fascinating, you could really just watch those droplets race away all day then to answer Chris’s question. But he wasnt backing down, and you could feel his incredibly blue in the sunshine, im innocent but also know what Im doing to you babes, eyes fucking staring at you. “You are so out of my league, Ive seen the woman youve dated in the past.”

Taken aback, his brows furrowed in frustration. “Thats bullshit Y/N, you think I would think anyone wouldnt deserve me cause I happen to make movies?” He went silent, contemplating what he wanted to say next. The fact that you felt that way about yourself just proved that he was going to have to show you how incredible you were. “Just a chance Y/N, if you have any feelings for me. Its all I ask for.” Turning back to you, he dipped his head to hover near yours.

Waiting for you to give an answer, your heart race cause he was that close. You could feel the soft breaths of air coming from his soft breaths and your eyes darted to those full lips, making your own throb with wanting to brush against them. But hes your friend, your mind screams and then a soft whisper. But he can be so much more.

It was all interrupted when Scott called from inside the house, and you pulled away, scooting back and moving to a stand, grabbing the emptied beer bottles. It was an excuse to get away from what you actually wanted to say. “Let me grab us another!” Racing away to go greet Scott, Chris lets his head falls into his hands, groaning. I was so close, and scared you away.

Scott busted through the door to find Chris pulling himself to a stand, catching the drawn look he had, he tilted his head “Out with it, I know that look, and thats the one you use when something is bugging you.”

“Nothing is wrong Scott” Chris lied, Dodger promptly coming over to greet his “uncle”, in which Scott immediately ruffled his ears. Not to be distracted though, he gave another spill it motion.

“Okay, if you MUST know Scott, I might have told Y/N I had feelings for her.”

Scotts eyes widened, and he grinned. “Well its about damn time Chris! You two have been dancing around each other for a year. Even Zach said we should just push you two together to kiss.”

“Yea well, it didnt go as I hoped.” His hand went up to the back of his neck, rubbing it. “She feels shes not in the same league? How is that even a worry.”

Scott shrugged and loped his arm over his brothers shoulder. “Hey, shes probably just nervous and caught her by surprise. Talk to her again after the party, and relax bro. Trust in your gut.” Chris wrinkled his brow as he listened to Scott, he made some good points. It was unexpected after all. He had certainly never hinted it before at you that he had any real interests. “Come on, let go see what those two are up to and finish setting up.”

Inside, you and Zach were dicing up some fruit they had brought for a fruit salad, having avoided bringing Chris that second beer, and Chris didnt remark on it once they came back inside. He smiled over at you and you glanced down right quick, moving to drop the strawberries in. Was it going to be awkward? Fuck you hoped not. But to your relief, there was no change. Everyone fell into an easy chatter, Chris went and started his grill, and before you all knew it, the party was underway with people showing up, bringing more food, games were played and most likely to much beer got consumed.

The evening started winding down, and you bid your goodbyes, touching Chris’s arm “So im going to head out, it was a great time, dont forget to drink some water before bed though. You will wake up with a headache.” A frown plays on his lips.

“Wait, your really leaving? I thought we could talk.” His eyes flashed hopeful at you, and honestly right now it was all more then you wanted to get into.

“Yea, I got an early morning and stuff I need to take care of.” White lies werent harmful, right?

“How about I come over tomorrow then?” He was still trying, one thing about Chris, once he set his mind to something, he rarely backed down.

“Text you, I promise!” You say a bit overly cheerfully and dart out the door, leaving him on his own once more. Digging out your keys, you escape to your car and pull out of his drive. Driving around, you ended up going nowhere near home, instead you drove around, trying to process your thoughts.

Why couldnt you Y/N? Dont you deserve some kind of happiness and youve always been attracted to him. Just always putting yourself down, you did that with your ex to. Here Chris was saying he had feelings beyond just friends and you ducked out the door before telling him that you might have as well for years.

This was how it went for a couple hours, getting dark you turned on your head lights, and before you realized where you were, your car pulled into Chris’s driveway, tapping your fingers on the wheel. His lights were still on, but everyones cars were gone. Were you really going to do this? Yes... Yes you are. Y/N, you have someone who wants to see if you two are meant to be something more, someone you actually care for as well. Stop holding back.

Going up the front steps, you consider letting yourself in, but you simply knock instead, twisting your fingers together. Dodgers bark emits, and you can hear Chris on the other side. “Hush boy, its okay. Back up buddy.” And then the click, he opened his door and a quirk of a smile folds up the corner of his mouth. “Hey.... “ You take a deep breath and step up to him, grasping his face in your hands, and sweep up to your toes to reach him. Why he have to be ridiculously tall? The sharp taste of beer and him flooded your senses, and his arm tilted around to brace you in close, holding back enough so you could control this kiss, it was yours, and he wasnt about to scare you off again.

Pulling back, you smooth your hands down to his shoulders, clearing your throat. “First of all, Chris you know I dont want to loose our friendship, second I want to see how good we could be. And third...”

Suddenly Scott appeared in the background, grinning wide. Apparently he didnt leave. “ITS ABOUT TIME YOU TWO!!!”

Cats out of the bag, you and Chris were going to see where this would go.

[punkscowardschampions]

Joe & Ronnie

Joe: Hey

Joe: my flatmate has some work I reckon your mate might be interested in

Joe: but it’ll sound a bit dodgy coming from me so you wanna pass it along?

Joe: moneys alright for no real work, depending on how you look at it

Ronnie: never done any work as a secretary myself

Ronnie: write your own fucking love notes

Joe: I see that

Joe: your accent down the 📞?

Joe: no cunt here’d understand you, never mind the demeanour

Joe: yeah, well, it’d really seem that way

Joe: but I actually need someone to take her off my hands

Ronnie: racism as foreplays playing to the wrong crowd hes more into homo bashing

Ronnie: errr dunno how you read his demeanor mckenna but he aint taken a her off anyones hands since before any of us had phones

Joe: i’ll keep that in mind

Joe: well homophobic of me to not tell him myself so he’s welcome for the freebie

Joe: not actual escorting

Joe: she does art, her life drawing class needs a model

Joe: I ain’t fucking doing that

Joe: tell me I ain’t 📖 him right on that one

Ronnie: fucks sake if youd said it was cash for cock wed be done talking already

Joe: I just did

Joe: sound, she’ll be made up, she’ll get off my case, and he’ll get £15 an hour, apparently 👌

Ronnie: sexist not to ask me

Ronnie: pass that on to your little gf

Joe: weren’t her idea to ask Charlie

Joe: you’ll have to take up that grievance with me as well

Joe: I’ll just point out it’d be even weirder if I’d have asked you

Ronnie: you wish

Ronnie: how much £ you offering me to bang you

Joe: if I did no point paying you to do it for her and her class and not me

Joe: that’s an interesting take on cucking though, loads that would go for it, I’m sure

Ronnie: ill write it down as youve made me go hunting for a pen in this shithole

Joe: cheers

Joe: take 20% commission or whatever

Joe: or take the IOU I owe him for doing this

Ronnie: you said it hed do this for fuck all ill take the lot and mary wont know it was a paid gig

Joe: if he can fend the flatmate off, undoubtedly a load of art gays he can have his pick of

Ronnie: that what youre telling yourself for why you dont want me to do it yeah

Joe: you wanna do it?

Ronnie: i want you to admit the reason you dont want me to is cause he scrubs up enough for horse girl and her course mates not to stage an intervention

Joe: not what it is so no

Joe: I know I don’t want to get my shit out in front of a load of middle class kids who know fuck all about fuck all, so I assumed as much for you

Ronnie: dont ever assume fuck all for or about me

Joe: why do you wanna do it so bad when like you said, you can pocket the cash and get him to?

Ronnie: i dont wanna fucking do it

Joe: well that’s grand ‘cos I reckon Sophie wants to see dick so

Joe: she’d be really let down

Ronnie: usually what gets you off

Ronnie: but im made up youre in love now like

Joe: please, she either don’t get it’s weird to ask me which means she’s some kind of special

Joe: or this is the start of her 50 shades fantasy and I have to be the let down to end all let downs and i’m already doing my best

Ronnie: rem is right to pay for it when she could just walk in on you taking a piss or having a shower

Joe: when you’re just a creep and not a predator 💔

Joe: not the girl my parents warned me about

Ronnie: if theyd be the type to go down the stables theyd have seen the other side of her

Joe: you’ve got your own daydreams, alright

Joe: put out the feelers, who isn’t a little gay these days, right

Ronnie: go ed and pass on ive got a bigger dick than him and she will have

Ronnie: i dont dream 💔

Joe: shame she isn’t equally inspiring for you

Joe: or anyone, really

Ronnie: cry about it with him when youre done pimping

Joe: what do you dream about then, when you’re awake

Ronnie: what you cant read me

Joe: clearly not

Joe: dashed your modelling dreams

Ronnie: blind and not able to read braille must be dead hard for you

Joe: is that sympathy?

Joe: or you offering me 🖐 to 👩🏼‍🦲 time

Ronnie: again you wish

Ronnie: 💭💉

Ronnie: cant make it any easier to understand soz

Joe: maybe I do

Joe: far as 💭s go

Ronnie: fuck maybe you do or you dont

Joe: well it ain’t why I don’t want to get my arms out for her

Joe: not tried it

Joe: but not a no

Ronnie: give a shit what you do or dont want to do for or to her

Joe: that is a no, tah

Ronnie: tell her not me baby

Joe: that’s not a big sister duty?

Joe: gutted

Ronnie: wouldnt know im the middle kid dorothy does that for us

Joe: i’ll ask him when i’m crying on him then

Joe: make a change for me

Ronnie: hot

Ronnie: rack up the ious like a fat line hes gonna be made up

Joe: oi he’s like family ain’t he

Ronnie: &

Ronnie: you wanna fuck your mam

Ronnie: not oi ing you

Joe: well you get to think about me and him, you gave me her and you, not fair

Ronnie: life aint soft lad

Ronnie: and stopping at thinking about shit is the difference between me and you

Joe: I get it, you’ve gone there

Joe: purely here for the homophobia

Ronnie: your kinks match 💘

Ronnie: purely there so the lads dont kick off before hes got his kicks

Joe: see, you’ve got it in you 💘

Joe: the sisterly thing

Joe: my hate don’t get expressed by putting me in him though so I won’t run my mouth

Ronnie: not what ive got in me but im not giving you the talk just cause your ma didnt

Joe: you want a virgin to defile reckon Soph and her mates are prime, vampira

Ronnie: set it up with her ill show if i get no better offers

Joe: lucky girl

Joe: no more nights in doing doodles of cute girls that look like you

Ronnie: we dont look alike youll have to accept theyre of you

Joe: i fit less than you, by far

Ronnie: fuck off

Joe: sorry

Joe: it’s weird, say the least

Ronnie: i fit nowhere she made sure i dont

Joe: ditto

Joe: so buzzing i can write shit songs about it though

Ronnie: no

Ronnie: weve got fuck all in common

Joe: just the same mother

Joe: who put her shitty genetics and choices on us both at different times

Ronnie: i ain’t got a mother you cant cross out the un from wanted and act like its the same word

Joe: incubator then

Joe: she was 19 and still fucked, don’t think they had a five-year plan down

Joe: worse if she did, the state of

Ronnie: she made 1 choice for me shes still controlling you

Ronnie: were not the fucking same

Joe: you reckon

Ronnie: if you wanna claim it aint her fault youre this big of a pussy try it

Joe: you don’t think it’s my fault?

Joe: woah, just say you love me

Ronnie: i dont think about you when you aint trying to compare us

Joe: hot

Joe: I’ve thought about you plenty

Joe: uni ain’t that interesting

Ronnie: you came looking for me werent the other way round

Ronnie: you ain’t interesting to me mckenna

Joe: you reckon you’re fascinating, yeah?

Joe: fair enough

Ronnie: if your flatmate knows anyone doing doc film making they can wank over me lying in the gutter when youre done

Joe: nah

Joe: you don’t want control of your narrative

Ronnie: i dont want a narrative

Joe: then i’ll be the only wanker

Ronnie: in your dreams

Joe: well you painted such a lovely visual

Ronnie: black screen would get you going can stay in your own fucked head with no interference then like

Joe: Static is my kink

Joe: you know me so well

Ronnie: your fucking kink is not shutting the hell up til i do

Joe: i’m a gentleman

Joe: and i’m taking that review

Ronnie: youll get a lengthy one from my big brother when you are

Joe: you don’t have to settle for hearing it and getting your kicks second-hand

Joe: I’ll have to be somewhere to be unavailable for this life drawing class

Joe: let’s do something

Ronnie: what you paying me to babysit

Joe: you can ask my mammy or you can see what you can get

Ronnie: if i was gonna talk to her it wouldnt be about you

Joe: thank god

Joe: so take the risk

Ronnie: of what

Ronnie: boring me is asking too much of you

Joe: that’s surely a given

Joe: risk anything but

Ronnie: if I need rescuing again ill call you thats the only given Joe: you’re worse than her

Joe: christian grey or superman, like

Joe: gonna be BFFs yous, I can tell

Ronnie: you dont like being compared to cunts youre nothing like either funny that

Joe: touche

Joe: come on, what would convince you

Ronnie: if youre gonna beg then beg and if youre gonna show me something do it

Joe: I know you’d like to hear me beg but I can’t tell what you’d wanna see

Ronnie: then the answers nothing

Joe: nah

Joe: the answers you want to wait or you wanna be disappointed

Ronnie: why the fuck would I want either of those things

Joe: that’s what I’ll give you then

Joe: the opposite of that

Ronnie: thats meant to convince me yeah

Joe: nah, I am

Ronnie: like fuck will you

Joe: see, you want to be disappointed

Ronnie: ill be disappointed want has fuck all to do with it

Joe: if you don’t come and see

Ronnie: come where

Joe: see me

Joe: i’m new in town, I don’t know where to go

Joe: fuck sightseeing

Ronnie: [somewhere she’d hang out]

Ronnie: go there

Joe: now?

Ronnie: whenever you dont know where to go

Joe: okay

Joe: and I’ll see you there when you don’t

Ronnie: when im not fucking either of our flatmates

Joe: when you’re done being disappointed

Ronnie: when you prove yourself as not

Joe: you’ll see

Joe: I can’t show you over the phone

Ronnie: you could

Ronnie: im going nowhere on a bullshit promise cause im not a meff teenager

Joe: and I ain’t young enough to think that’s a good idea either

Joe: pictures not doing no favours

Joe: if you’re there and i’m there

Ronnie: big if

Joe: I never know where to be

Ronnie: newborn i heard you

Joe: something like that

Joe: if you can’t leave soph alone I’ll do my best begging 🥺

Ronnie: she cant leave you alone id be doing you a favour

Joe: true

Joe: wouldn’t wanna be caught doing that though

Ronnie: let you do the clean up after ive killed and ate her id be caught well fast for that instead

Joe: you’d get caught for being three times your size

Joe: she’s a big girl

Joe: you should share, be sworn to secrecy

Ronnie: doing her a favour i shouldve said

Ronnie: fuck all going for her

Joe: way to get in shape

Joe: she’ll appreciate us using her blood for something artsy on the walls

Ronnie: ill ask the basic white bitch i live with to give me a clue

Joe: 🍆 will be appropriate for her

Ronnie: 🐎

Joe: they might reckon she did it with her dying breath

Joe: very artist of her, dying how she lived

Ronnie: hurry the fuck up with your confession song if you want credit

Joe: you wanna hear me confessing so bad

Joe: but I might be able to hand that in so

Joe: hold on

Ronnie: it aint me whos a choir boy

Joe: ugh, I wish

Ronnie: cant chat shit about us having the same fantasies ive been touched by a old bloke wearing a dress and i dont rate it

Ronnie: standard surrounded by homos night out

Joe: yeah, and the nuns are never the hot kind

Joe: if they didn’t self-flagellate they’d be entirely uninteresting

Ronnie: 💔

Joe: yeah, it’s tragic being this bored/boring, say it ‘fore you have to bother

Ronnie: didnt invite you to no pity party and if thats where youre trying to get me to turn up to dont bother is right

Joe: you mean you don’t wanna talk about your feelings?

Joe: like you said, like being left alone with my own fucked up ones too much to try and start a therapy session

Ronnie: what fucking feelings dead above & below the waist like

Joe: dangerously close to sharing there

Joe: you got your 💉 already then?

Ronnie: wouldnt be this chatty if i had

Ronnie: unlucky you

Joe: I’m the one that wants to see you

Joe: so I’ll cope

Ronnie: cant even spell martyrdom proper so youve fucked yourself looking for a pat on the back off me by matching the definition up

Joe: i’ll just ring mum up yeah

Ronnie: your da if not but it wont have the same satisfying end for you like

Joe: 💔

Joe: validations the last thing i need

Joe: had a whole lifetime

Ronnie: you crawling back to me with a boner for the accent your mummys losing is the last thing i need

Ronnie: get on the scouse samaritans

Joe: don’t reckon that’s a job you’ll get any time soon either

Joe: ‘less the purpose is to make sure people go through with it

Ronnie: couldve fooled me if it aint what else is talking a sad cunts ear off about their problems gonna do

Joe: attention seekers anonymous

Ronnie: no need to meet you there i earned all them badges as a kid 🧷🩸

Joe: wouldn’t be caught 💀 obvs

Joe: keeping it secret adds another level of masochism anyway

Ronnie: does it fuck

Ronnie: keeps you feeling like a smug bitch you can still pass

Ronnie: miss me with that pussy shit

Joe: nah, that’s that i’m in control shit

Joe: it’s not that

Joe: the only thing you might be smug about is how oblivious everyone chooses to be

Joe: if it weren’t also depressing as fuck

Ronnie: dont give em the choice

Joe: why?

Ronnie: why the fuck would you want to

Joe: don’t need to be my mother’s next cause celebre

Joe: she can force the therapy and concern on any of the others, I don’t wanna get better or have to fake like I’ll even try

Ronnie: then dont

Ronnie: cut off your umbilical cord and wipe up the blood trail

Ronnie: not like she tries very hard to herd back the black sheep

Joe: maybe they know and don’t give a fuck 🤞

Joe: I know I ain’t going back so whatever

Ronnie: & you reckon weve got anything in common

Joe: just 50% of our DNA

Joe: never said we were twinsies

Ronnie: if youd have said id have spat in your face 1st time we met get it collected and the tests run

Joe: I wish

Joe: has your face healed

Ronnie: wheres the fun in letting it do that

Joe: 😏

Joe: we can pretend that’s inherited if you need

Ronnie: not 5 i dont play pretend

Joe: if you keep digging, reckon the ink will be gone and it’ll be pure scar tissue

Ronnie: calm the fuck down i can hear how turned on you are about it from here

Joe: spoilsport

Joe: just thinking, scar that only vaguely looks like 🍒s might be well more rugged for my transformation from baby to independent real boy

Ronnie: laughing cos i like pain not cause youre funny

Ronnie: when you see or hear it from wherever youre lurking

Joe: you don’t leave room for me to get the wrong idea, you’re alright

Joe: all them fucked ones are mine alone and already there

Ronnie: get your girlfriend to draw you a pin up & dont tell her youve changed the lass horse head to look like your mas

Ronnie: masc for masc in your bio before you know it and 🦋 tramp stamp to follow

Joe: you know my dad already has a tattoo that looks like her, no bullshit

Joe: and another dead girl on the other arm but that’s a whole other boring story

Joe: playing dress up is off the cards too if I’m ever gonna be a big boy

Ronnie: where do you keep his severed arm when youre not using it to fist yourself and how old were you when you cut it off

Ronnie: if we re telling stories

Joe: 😂

Joe: where we keep the horse

Joe: that en-suite is massive

Ronnie: if he finds out it was a paid gig ill know where to crash

Joe: still gutted she don’t wanna see you naked

Ronnie: youre a liar if you dont wanna see her face seeing me

Joe: don’t know if anyone could be bothered to look at her when you’re about but yeah

Joe: the trauma would really fuel me and make her much more bearable to live with

Ronnie: youre welcome like

Joe: gotta stop being nice to me

Joe: you know stalkers, give ‘em an inch

Ronnie: telling me what to do is the fastest way 🖕

Ronnie: and i know you dont have an inch to give me making the best of this shitshow is what an optimist like me has gotta do

Joe: obviously you’re that type

Joe: not having it in common will have you back 👍

Joe: you’re inspiring, like

Ronnie: chop off my arms and legs and get a camera set up in the en-suite

Joe: you’d fit in my cello case then, could take you everywhere

Ronnie: course youve had a measuring tape out

Joe: hate to kill your optimism with 🍆

Joe: have a go at pushing it back in

Ronnie: how longs your tongue reckon that could kill any girls optimism

Joe: 💔 if it was only good for chatting your ear off

Ronnie: [send him a picture of your weird gross split tongue because obviously]

Joe: [how does that not make you lisp, or does it, I always think that]

Joe: that’s why you’ve not had an invite

Joe: 🚫🐍

Ronnie: gutted

Joe: you know you can show up and do whatever you wanna do whenever

Joe: I’ll take you back

Ronnie: this performance art is meant to what just scare her or teach you how to get her to back the fuck off as well as

Ronnie: im not a fucking tour guide mckenna & you can get yourself evicted without my help

Joe: you know I meant to Dublin

Joe: don’t think it’d take much to scare Sophie off, give it a month for us to both get comfortable and she’ll see what I ain’t

Ronnie: fuck you

Joe: I said if you want

Ronnie: dont need your permission to do anything i want

Joe: don’t think any of ‘em are that lax with their socials

Joe: you’d need directions

Ronnie: ive had years to find em & we dont both hang about with horse girls from kent

Joe: can’t say it’s your loss

Ronnie: shut up about it then

Joe: 🤐

Ronnie: 🖕

Joe: got a whole fist here, you can keep it

Ronnie: sizeist

Joe: told her yours is massive like you said, it’s fine

Ronnie: i said bigger than his not a horse shes in for a disappointment

Joe: gotta 🤞 she’s an optimist like you babe

Ronnie: unlike you shes gonna wait to see what i do with it before telling me to shove it

Joe: you just wanna blueball me for the pain

Joe: go on, for your lols

Ronnie: she wont want me at all unless youre gonna watch

Joe: and you need a witness so I get time too

Joe: I’ll do it, torturous as it’d be

Ronnie: the iou is gonna torture me too

Joe: if you’re lucky

Ronnie: not the dna half we share 💔

Joe: damnit

Joe: what’s good about being Scouse?

Ronnie: now the beatles are dead youve got fuck all to live for

Ronnie: noted

Joe: only the good ones

Joe: I dunno, anything good about it never happened, left when I was a kid and we still lived in a shithole with shitheads

Ronnie: get in line she left me in a shithole with shitheads 1st

Joe: where were you

Joe: wonder how close it was

Ronnie: what the fuck does it matter

Joe: it makes her more/less shitty depending

Ronnie: it aint gonna change my opinion and I dont give a shit about yours

Joe: fair enough

Ronnie: get cosy with charlie hed take you down memory lane

Joe: not before he’s got it out for the art class tah

Ronnie: you didnt say when

Joe: [probably an evening class like tomorrow or the next day, then the same time a week later]

Ronnie: too fucking late the pen is in pieces

Joe: sure it isn’t the first time you’ve left him a note in blood

Ronnie: hes only gonna cry about it & take the shine off his modelling debut

Joe: awh

Joe: message him 🧓🏼

Ronnie: fuck off calling me old

Joe: 😏

Ronnie: ill write him a note blaming what a twat you are for what hes gonna walk in on

Joe: what mess have you made

Ronnie: havent killed myself yet

Joe: and you’ve not stopped talking so no OD’ing

Joe: possibilities are endless still

Ronnie: yeah

Joe: come out

Joe: we can get new ink to dig out

Joe: whatever

Ronnie: you gonna suck his dick this time

Joe: I’ll just pay the old-fashioned way

Ronnie: flashy cunt

Joe: what being a student is all about

Ronnie: and youre too special to poison your blood how the rest of em do

Joe: I’m not opposed but I can do it alone, I don’t need to go to a sweaty student bar that plays shit songs and has a load of sad Soph clones giving it 🥺

Ronnie: you can get another tattoo without me holding your hand

Joe: I could

Ronnie: go do it 🦋 baby

Joe: have mentioned its not about the tat, yeah?

Ronnie: nah not that ive heard

Joe: come on

Joe: i want to see you, i’ve said loads

Ronnie: youve said loads of shit yeah

Joe: shit i mean

Ronnie: why

Joe: why wouldn’t I

Ronnie: thats your answer then fuck it

Joe: you don’t need to ask ‘cos you know

Ronnie: i did ask and you said why the fuck not

Ronnie: like its nothing

Ronnie: like you didnt turn up uninvited into my life not long ago

Joe: then tell me to leave

Joe: like it’s that easy

Ronnie: i didnt tell you to fucking appear

Ronnie: just cause youre a kid dont make me the dead fish you won at the fair

Joe: I never had the choice

Joe: she told me about you, talked about you all the fucking time

Joe: you’ve always been in my life

Ronnie: and youve never been in mine

Ronnie: im not gonna carve out a place for you now cos you want it

Joe: Alright

Joe: do it then

Ronnie: dont tell me what to fucking do

Joe: I’m not going unless you say it

Ronnie: no shit this is fun for you

Joe: like fuck it is

Ronnie: im the car wreck youre craning your neck to keep looking at

Ronnie: thats all the fuck this is

Joe: lie better

Ronnie: you dont care about me or what this feels like

Joe: I can’t take it back, you know now

Ronnie: you dont wanna take it back

Joe: I can’t, what’s the point pretending

Joe: I never said I was a good person

Joe: being sorry won’t change anything for you

Ronnie: its all your christmases & birthdays im west as this course youre gonna keep on spinning me out

Joe: Piss off

Ronnie: lie better cunt

Joe: So you’re allowed pity parties, yeah?

Joe: 👌

Ronnie: calling you out on your bullshit is allowed if youre crying thats your problem

Joe: if all you want from me is for me to go away, consider it done

Joe: you can’t hack it, my apologies

Ronnie: tell me why if im so fucking wrong

Joe: I like you

Joe: I want you, to get to know you

Joe: I can’t just stop it, not for myself

Joe: So make me

Ronnie: stop telling me what to fucking do

Ronnie: fucks sake

Joe: you ain’t saying anything

Joe: what do you want

Ronnie: I dont want you to like me

Ronnie: fuck is that

Joe: yeah, it’s obvious you go to great lengths to be unlikeable

Joe: not going to tell no one am I

Ronnie: so hate me soft lad

Joe: I’ll give it a go

Ronnie: ill make you

Joe: give it a go then

Ronnie: where are you then

Joe: [give a location of somewhere near your flat ‘cos don’t need to actually set you on the flatmate rn and that’s likely where you were]

Ronnie: [obviously we’re just gonna show up however long that takes us without another word like !?]

Joe: [just so much eye contact ‘cos what you gonna say what you gonna do]

Ronnie: [definitely gonna take him somewhere sketchy as hell to the level that like Charlie doesn’t know we still go there/we’d never take him ever like you wanna get to know me okay bitch buckle up]

Joe: [can’t let you hook up or shoot up yet ‘cos chronological but go along with this obvs]

Ronnie: [it would make sense if you made out/almost hooked up though because the vibe for the next convo was very much oh fuck what are you doing here we didn’t mean to run each other like this but also v flirty]

Joe: [agreed, and allowed, it’s the obvious vibe but any untold drama can happen to stop you in whatever dodgy place so makes sense]

Ronnie: [literally and just because you can’t shoot up together yet does not mean either of you have to be in any way sober so]

Joe: [hundo, we’re not saying he’s never done a drug lol, he clearly abuses his prescription as is so like, there’s plenty to be done without going there]

Ronnie: [and if we wanted to we could say that you watch her do it here and now before you do it together anyway because you’d both get a weird kick out of that]

Joe: [tea, bet you did not see this coming for your uni experience lmao]

Ronnie: [meanwhile she’s old enough to have left, do you wanna grow up babe? No? okay]

Joe: [the way you’re rolling with this, we know you’re fucked boy but pop off]

Ronnie: [I can’t overstate how much she’d be doing the absolute most to try and scare him away like I dare you to go back on what you said]

Joe: [we know you’re not gonna, soz babe, is very rude how he’s just waltzed in but truly did not say we were a good person lol]

Ronnie: [we know she’s not either and also is here for it more than she will ever express until we’re literally years into this]

Joe: [hi your mother’s daughter, but no, you actually have a reason this is messed up but we’re into it from the off and not pretending, risky af strategy boy]

Ronnie: [is there anything we wanna say happens that has lasting-ish consequences other than the make out/ almost hook up ie a tattoo or a fight with injury potential or an arrest lol]

Joe: [hmm, the possibilities, maybe a fight to show you can, could be about anything, it’s that sort of place]

Ronnie: [that is such a mood I love it and yeah could literally be you’re a new face or could be her fault because of the aforementioned doing the most]

Joe: [totally, and that’ll be an easy way to separate you and not meet until the next convo]

Ronnie: [exactly dr phil]

[wuvbug-kny]

too late — kamado tanjirou

↬ tw!! suicidal thoughts

↬ tanjirou x fem!reader x inosuke

↬ genre: angst

“i-i really do like you..um, it wasnt easy to confess b-but..yeah..”

my body shook. my head ached. my anxiety was over the roof. what was i thinking, why would i confess to him?! oh god. im going insane. what was i thinking..

i felt tears in my eyes start to form as my body got hotter by the second. my fists were clenches togethee tightly, nails digging into my palms as my heart raced at an unsteady pace. i gulped. why wasnt he saying anything? why is he just standing there? oh no.. my eyes remained stuck onto the ground as the knot in my throat got tighter. the tears that had formed in my eyes began to fall to the ground, and out of embarassment i lowered my head even more hoping he wouldnt notice.

tanjirou, please dont break me more than i already am broken.

“(y/n)..”

“y-yes?”

“im sorry.

i cant reciprocate your feelings.”

｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈•ﾟ｡

i felt numb. i felt like complete, utter trash.

i felt worthless. i feel worthless.

of course it turned out that way.

why did i get my hopes up? why was i so dumb? to think someone like him would love such a lonely, miserable girl like me.

my heart ached. ever since i felt like the hole in my chest had gotten the biggest its ever been. it hurt, the pain was incredibly painful, i felt like i seeped even more into darkness than the darkness i was emorsed in before.

god, why am i so miserable? what is this life you’ve given me? what is my purpose?

sometimes, no, at all times i just want to disappear.

the knock on my door startled me, causing me to jump up from my laying position on my bed, in result of getting up too fast i had landed on my floor painfully. i grunted in pain as more tears began to spilled out from my eyes.

im miserable..

quickly sitting up, i wiped the tears from my tomato reddened face before sucking everything up as best as i could.

“y-yes?” i replied to the knocking coming from my door.

the knocking got even louder.

confused, i called out again. “y-yes??”

i jumped, shrieking slightly as the door was kicked open. am i under attack? but this is the butterfly estate! scrambling to my bed like the coward i was, i quickly pulled out my blade, pointing it towards the now beaten down door.

“w-who is it??” i shivered.

“(y/n), you bird brain! training has started and everyone is still waiting on you!!”

in came inosuke, wearing his boar mask as usual.

i lowered my blade and sighed shakily, before putting it away. “i-inosuke..you scared me. you could of just answered to me instead of kicking my door open..” i said, getting up from the bed.

“whatever! you should be at training! you’re holding everyone up, you stupid hag!” he huffed, crossing his arms.

i forcefully made myself laugh, even though i was in now way amused by his words.

hes right.

im a burden to everybody.

i shouldnt be here.

i should just die.

im so worthless.

everyone would be better off without me.

without realizing, i felt the warmness of my tears flowing down my face. i felt my heart ache so badly, my body shaking.

unable to hold my stance, i fall to the floor. sobbing.

because im so pathetic.

taking my bruised up hands, i quickly try to wipe the tears away but they just keep coming, and coming. i cant stop. i cant stop. my bubble has bursted, i have no more energy, i have no energy to keep it all in anymore, i cant control myself.

as i was too busy drowning in my negative, self killing thoughts, i was interrupted when my hands were pulled away from my face.

a little taken aback, but still having tears flowing down my face, i looked up.

inosuke..

“what are you, a baby? stop it.” he grumbled as he wiped my tears away with his thumb. his thumb glided across my cheek, flicking my tears away as gently as ever. for a moment i felt my heart warm. this is the first time ive ever been carressed so gently. i loved the feeling, but at the same time surprised as to who i was recieving it from.

“dont cry anymore. i dont like it.” his hands gently carressed my face now as his emerald eyes looked into mine. i felt my heart skip a beat, the empty deep feeling in my chest being forgotten at the very moment. i couldnt look away from his eyes.

for the first time ever, i felt like. i was okay.

i teared up again, but before i could let the tears spill i engulfed inosuke in a hug. an endearing, loving, grateful hug. i sobbed as i buried my face into his chest.

“t-thank you. thank you so much.”

i felt his arms wrap around my shaking figure gently, as he at the same time patted my head.

i was honestly surprised as to what was going on right now. out of all people, inosuke.

you’ve made me so happy. you’ve made me feel safe, okay, and wanted.

｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈•ﾟ｡

two months had passed ever since tanjirou had turned me down.

honestly, i had nothing against tanjirou. i never expected him to like me, heck, love me back even. i never expected him to reciprocate my feelings. but at the same time, i felt like i still had a chance. i dont know what was going through my mind at the time.

i still loved tanjirou. maybe not as much as before, but i knew i still had the slightesy feelings for him. i try my best to talk to him as if nothing had ever happened. i really just want to move on from it.

as much as i hate myself for it, seeing him and talking to him makes me feel worthless. i hate myself for feeling that way. if i could go back in time and redo everything, i most certainly would.

what hurt me even more was to see how close he had gotten himself with kanao. it was no surprise to me, honestly. kanao is a very pretty girl, and she’s just way better than me in general in regards to demon slaying and skill wise.

no wonder tanjirou would take interest in her.

i was happy for him, i really was. i held no resent towards kanao at all. afterall, it would be petty and childish.

kanao was a dear friend to me and if they really did have chemistry between one another, i do really wish them the best.

i just cant help but pity myself.

“(y/n)!”

i squeaked in surprise as i was suddenly lifted off the ground by a pair of arms around my waste and twirled around. it took me a moment to realize that it was nobody but inosuke, before having a giggling fit.

“i-inosuke! put me down!” i laughed as he started to make plane noises. i felt myself blush as his eyes locked itself with mine, before averting my gaze to block him from noticing my face had turned into a tomato red.

ever since i broke down in front of inosuke and had him comfort me, we’ve gotten a lot closer. not much has changed between us personality wise, but he associated with me way more and always seemed ready whenever id ask him a favor, etc. he also now liked to pick me up and pretend to toss me, or making plane noises as he twirled me around.

he’s honestly like my best friend now. i can actually talk to him about how i feel deep down inside. he listens but doesnt really give much input on it, but i dont mind. its inosuke afterall, what can i expect? all im grateful for is that he listens.

inosuke grinned before setting me back down on the floor. he patted my hat before literally collapsing onto the grass covered ground, yawning and using his arms to rest his head on.

“im tired, (y/n). take a nap with me.” he grunted, patting the spot next to him. i smiled before laying down too, as i looked up at the sky.

“hey, inosu-“ i cut myself off after i had looked at him and noticed he was already out like a light. i giggled a bit. hes such a baby, honestly.

i stared at his face a bit more and noticed how pretty and feminine his features were. his eyelashes were curled and at a beautiful length, his lips slightly parted making him look angelic. his fair skin with no scars made him look like an angel.

jeez, god really do be picking favorites.

i sighed before laying back down on the grass, closing my eyes as i rested my head on inosuke’s chest. i felt myself sleeping into sleep and just let it happen.

this was one of the many times i felt at peace, always with inosuke.

｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈•ﾟ｡

“im telling you, inosuke and (y/n) have a thing going on! have you seen how they are with each other?!” falling onto the floor, zenitsu started to sob. “why, out of all people, him?! a pretty girl like (y/n) deserves better! eUUugGNnN!!”

“what are you guys talking about?” tanjirou asked as he walked into the room, a smile worn on his face as he laughed at zenitsu obviously being overdramatic about whatever it was.

aoi and the other three girls sighed as they continued on eating their lunch.

“zenitsu thinks (y/n) and inosuke are dating and hes freaking out about it because he knows he’ll never get someone as pretty as (y/n).” aoi said, laughing at the last part.

tanjirou froze, before laughing nervously. “aaah, dont say that, im sure zenitsu will find someone one day!”

aoi shrugged, followed on by more giggles coming from sumi and the two others.

“are (y/n) and inosuke really dating?” tanjirou asked, sitting down.

“dont even mention it! agh!” zenitsu cried from his laying position on the ground, before burying his face in his arms again.

aoi rolled her eyes before moving onto answering tanjirou. “well..no, actually yeah, no, we dont know. i mean it looks like it. they’ve gotten a lot of closer and inosuke is always up on (y/n) now. i mean, they’d make a really cute couple! i see the way (y/n) lights up when shes around him.”

“a-ah. i see.” tanjirou said, letting out a slight laugh. “well, im gonna head out to train now. ill see you all at dinner.”

aoi and the three girls said goodbye to him as he made his exit.

tanjirou walked down the halls of the butterfly estate, before stumbling upon the garden. he sighed, walking out with the intention to take a look at the peaceful view of the garden meadow and for some fresh air.

his peace was interrupted, however, as his eyes locked upon two well known people cuddled up on the garden grass, taking a peaceful nap.

his fists clenched, and so did his teeth.

he felt jealousy over power him. he did not realize it, but it was there and he felt it. he just didnt know what it was.

but what he knew, was regret.

that he had let (y/n) slip past him.

[onepunchmiss]

OPM s2e12 Live Blog

“The Wiping of the Disciple’s Butt”

The season finale. I’m nauseous. Lets begin. 

As always, I’m watching from the perspective of someone who has read the manga and webcomic. 

Right where we left off. Again I love the music. I’m just like, really calm right now actually. hhhhhhhhhhhokay. OOF oh god all the crunching sound effects oh no, this is already so weird watching Garou get his ass handed to him since he’s pretty much curb stomped every other hero in battle thus far, or at the VERY LEAST avoided taking so many hits. This. is so uncomfortable to watch. WOAH ????? THESE SHOTS WERE ONLY THERE FOR A SPLIT SECOND BUT??? HOLY SHIT???

GAROU’S HAIR OH MY GOD 

Oh god oh god Bang is relentless this hurts please stop guys GUYS PLZ  HAS NO ONE REALISED THAT NOT ONE HERO HAS DIED CMON PLZ IT HURTS calm down stop trying to kill him plsplspls OH

THIS 

IS WHY

WE STAN GAROU

HE SAYS FUCK DEATH HOW ABOUT I JUST GET STRONGER INSTEAD QUE EPIC THEME MUSIC

oh god damnit him legit running on all fours right there just looks goofy tho F “preposterous style” Bang you aint lying asdfghjkl really though OH MY GOD EVERYONE IS DRAWN SO BEAUTIFULLY THIS IS SO BLESSED 

WAIT 

NO OPENING THEME???????????????????? WHAT?????????????????????? WHY????????????????????????? ONE, I WANTED TO SEE THE CHIBI OF THE WEEK AND 2 

I WASNT PREPARED FOR MY FAVORITE DOPEY BIRD MAN THE FUCK PHOENIXMAN PLS NO ILY I know people hate him a lot but I just really dig how he feels like a fleshed out character compared to most other monsters, like he’s legit lookit him being all smart and stuff plz I just,,,,,,,,,,,, want to hug dumb fluffy birb ;-;

Woah again I’m being blown away by the animation??? Garou getting smacked around is really fluid and this just looks really cool in general?????

FUCK I CANT DO FLASHBACKS MAN JUST HEARING THE KID VOICE MAKED MY STOMACH LURCH OH NO 

OH NO I SCREAM OH NO I CANT OH NO GIMME 5 MINUTES PLEASE I CANNOT BBY NO I FORGOT ADULT GAROU IS IN THE FLASHBACK WATCHING THIS TIME PLS NO 

LIKE???????? I got kinda a comedic vibe watching him comment on it in the manga but the slow music and shit is just FUKKIN ME UP RIGHT NOW I HATE IT THANKS IT HURTS

oh god his face he has the seething thousand mile stare of quiet rage and its burning a hole STRAIGHT THROUGH MY ENTIRE BEING “But me I was the loner kid. Always gloomy and without friends” STOP. YOU STOP THAT RIGHT THIS INSTANT. IM CRYING AT U RIGHT NOW STOP

NO DONT HOLD HIM LET HIM GO S T O P OR SO HELP ME i can’t watch this what the fuck “I was always the loser” SHIT this legitimately hurts me “I dont want to be the monster anymore” GArou hey did you hear that part?? hEY GAROU DID YOU HEAR YOURSELF THERE??? 

WHAT DID I SAY WHAT THE F DID I JUST SAY STOP HOLDING HIM STOP STOPPIT  THE HELL MAN What if……….. I just go BACK IN TIME AND ADOPT BB GAROU CAN I DO THAT IS THIS POSSIBLE IS THIS ALLOWED ? ?? ?

oh my god it keeps getting worse. I mean. I already knew garou was being disproportionately reprimanded for what he supposedly did, but watching this scene just fucking kicked me in the teeth. As if my stomach wasn’t already in knots. The fuck . why does this hurt so much more watching than reading the frustration in seeping into me ffffff.

This looks really cool but, i can barely focus on that because im pretty much being exsanguinated on the floor over here by this whole sequence look at him crying. do it for me cause I sure as hell can’t 

“I want to strike a blow for the little guy”

Fukkin GETTEM GO GETTEM 

HOLY SHIT HIS VA IS GOING T F OFF 

AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH LOOKIT HIM ILY SO MUCH SAVE THE DAY BIRB SAVE 

ASDFGHJKL THIS IS SO INTENSE EVERYONE IS SO INTENSE I KNOW WHAT HAPPENS BUT HOLY SHIT FUCK IM SCREAMING GAROU IS SCREAMING BANG AND BOMB SCREAMING GENOS AND EVEN PHOENIXMAN EVEN THE MUSIC IS SCREAM WE ALL JUST SC R E M

OH MY GOD AND THE LITTLE HEAD NOT GENOS AND BANG GIVE EACHOTHER SAVING THE HEROES OH MY GOD OH FUCK AND THE WAY THEY ANIMATE BANG JUMPING AROUND IS DOPE AS HELL AND ALSO HOLY SHIT ELDER CENTIPEDE I MISSED THE UNSETTLING SMOOTH CG LIKE ANIMATION FOR THE CENTIPEDES EVERY CELL IN MY BODY IS JUST SCREAMING RN I AM OVERLOAD HELP 

Garou flailing in the air in Phoenixman’s grip is … really adorable oh my god. “It’s your fault for not finishing them” ooooooo that shut him up didn’t it oof. Also nice cameo by Tatsumaki there 

ASDFGHJKL THE MUSIC AGAIN I LOVE IT I LOVE THEM LOOK AT THEM OH MY GOD 

THIS IS SO BAD ASS

EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS IS SO BADASS

Genos’s eye static, The brother’s fists swirling, THE FUKKIN CARAPACE SHATTERING 

THIS FIGHT IS SO WILD MY COMPUTER CANT EVEN TAKE IT. ITS GLITCHING AND FREEZING UP HOLY SHIT

oh god ok the face coming out of the face was pure nightmare fuel alright then

WAIT

I FORGOT GENOS IS A SELF SACRIFICING DUMBASS. NO IM NOT READY GENOS YOU DOOF LISTEN TO KUSENO LISTEN TO HIM 

oh no 

oh no

im crying oh no

this animation is beautiful first of all and the music like im just here this is where I’m at and I’m crying oh no 

He’s an angel. A literal angel. Look at that and tell me he doesn’t look like a fucking angel in the sky with the rays of light casting shadows around him. 

Genos you are too good and pure for this world but that DOESNT MEAN TRY TO GET YOURSELF KILLED 

Shit they really made it look like he was gonna self destruct there for a second which MADE HIS LAST STAND EVEN MORE INTENSE OH MY GOD SWEETHEART Y’all ever get into a show because you keep seeing one character that catches your interest, and you keep seeing them pop up on your dash or wherever until you finally decide ‘well fuckit, this is the asshole that’s gonna get me to finally watch the show’, cause you’re already invested in them anyway? Genos did that for me with OPM. If this fool didn’t exist Who knows how long it would’ve taken me to get to watching OPM, if ever. And shit like this is why I STILL love him. I usually move on to new faves 90% of the time but nope. Genos earned his spot and is keeping it. Look at this insane shit. My heart. Uhg

Enough gushing asdfghjkl ok but Genos, you just went INTO THE DAMNED THING’s STOMACH,,,,, and you’re SURPRISED that there’s STOMACH ACID?? But real talk. What the EVERLONG FUCK is that thing’s insides made out of? How did it NOT DIE. the FuCK

asdfghjkl Phoenixman’s chuckle???? I love 

Oh Bang no, this is wrenching my heart like I know that he doesn’t actually use his power but its built up so intensely like,,, would he be ok if he did??? and actually more concerningly since it even WAS brought up that he has some hidden true strength, will we EVER get to see that??? Oh Shit well when they word it as “All the power left to me in this life” then yeah, that seems pretty life or death ish???? THE FUCK 

Oh thank god comedic relief is here I feel like i’m about to have a heart attack my chest is so tight hhhhhh ok breathe WAIT THIS ISNT COMEDIC THIS IS BADASS AS HELL JEEZUS witht he flashbacks to the Saitama encounter and THIS LOOK

The Anime is really fucking with the audience huh??? Making it look like KIngs about to throw hands like???????????? OH SHIT AND THIS MUSIC IS DOPE AS HELL TOO IM JUST laughing I have so much excessive energy right now???

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHZAHAHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASDFGHJKLJHGFDSWERTGYHUIUJHGFDFGHJKJHGFRE THE FUKKIN SONG THEY BROUGHT IT BACK THE ULTIMATE SONG I GOT THREE NOTES IN JUST THREE NOTES AND I KNOW IM SCREAMING I GOTTA GO RUN BRB 

IM STILL SCREAMING FADFJSAGFJDSLKAHVFSKLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA OUR MAIN MAN THERE HE IS THERE HE IS IM GONNA THROW UP 

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAEIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

OH MY FUCK THATS WHAT THE OPENING SEQUENCE EXPLOSION WAS FROM OH GOD OH FUCK BEAUTIFUL THIS IS BEAUTIFUL OH FUCK OH GOD 

The REPRISE oh no oh NO OH NO OH NO NO ITS NOT OVER im not ready its not I cant no no no i dont want to press play cause if I press play it will end soon no no no Oh my god and at the end there isnt gonna be a title card for the next episode because THERE IS NO NEXT EPISODE no non o nonononon on on on ono no no no 

NO 

HEY IVE BEEN RIPPED OFF. WHERES THE FACE WITH HIS HAIR BLOWN BACK??? ASDFJKL fine I cant even be mad everything else was tooo  ofdbghjfshkggfhsjgbfhjka

KING WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT REACTION ASDFGHJKL W H A T 

WAIT THEY ARE DOING THE OPENING THEME AT THE END NO I CANT HANDLE SEEING EVERYOONE NOW OF ALL TIMES GOD DAMNIT WHY ok yknow what. I knew it would be king. I dont know how but i did 

Wha

wh

fkin cliffhanger no please no 

I.. I’m kind of at a loss for words. I’m. That’s it, huh? It’s really over. It doesn’t FEEL over. There’s so much unfinished business. Well, the only way to really neatly wrap everything up as neatly as S1 did would have been to get ALL THE WAY through the Garou arc, which obviously wasn’t going to happen, but this is not a great spot to leave off if we’re going to endure another few years hiatus. My hope is that, with biweekley manga updates, we should wrap up the Monster Association/Garou stuff (assuming it doesn’t diverge from the web comic too much) some time next year, and I’m HOPING that s3 is already being planned accordingly along side manga publications. So MAYBE it will at least be announced around that time 2020. That’s my wishful thinking at least. I don’t think I can survive 3 years. anyway

You could really tell JC Staff poured their hearts and souls into these last 2 episodes. Absolutely gorgeous, paced well, so completely satisfying and making every second of s2 worth while. For me, at least. I’ve already seen people still complaining and I’m just sorry they didn’t have as much fun as I did. 

Seriously, thank each and every one of you guys. This has been a wild ride, I’ve barely had this blog a few weeks before season 2 started airing (and honestly just got into opm maybe a month before that?), so I owe a lot of the success on the blog to the anime I bet. This was the first series I’ve never tried live bogging, and I honestly can’t believe that they were as popular as they were? Especially since I never have any idea what I’m doing but yall listen to me ramble anyway?? Yall are crazy thank you so so so much. Now my tuesdays are gonna feel really empty… next week is gonna be weird as hell. Though I’m gonna get mad nostalgic good vibes rewatching this season in the future in no small part from sharing my experience with everyone who's stuck around. I can’t say see yall next week this time, but, see you next season whenever it may be for sure.

[cockbiteproductions]

primed to scream PRIMES! PRIMES! PRIMES!!

f i just typed the answer to most of these questions and chrome crashed so christ i have to fucking retype all these but much condensed because i am lazy.

2. chocolate bars or lollipops?

chocolate bars. but only milk. my mom buys exclusively Very Dark Chocolate though so i usually just stare at those and Wish.

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?

well bubblegum or cotton candy flavored stuff neither they both taste nauseating. if we’re talking about the actual stuff then bubblegum because i can pop it. this actually reminded me i have gum in the pantry from the beginning of the semester i havent even opened yet so now my roommates have you to thank for popping noises the next hr or so

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

soda bottles because i dont like to drink soda quickly and so i want to close it and not let the carbon dioxide escape. soda cans a close second because it’s satisfying to open the tab.

7. earbuds or headphones?

wired earbuds because headphones are too big and clunky and you cant easily lay on your side with headphones on. but if my next pair of earbuds break within a month i might consider Switching because ive had 3 break on me in the past month and half and im at my wits end with earbuds.

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?

i dont eat much for breakfast cause i want to sleep in until the last possible moment and i get stomachaches when i eat a lot in the morning but ill eat a piece of bread and yogurt maybe.

13. lanyard or key ring?

key ring but that’s just because i havent used a lanyard before. i think i would like a lanyard. im constantly looking for my keys in bags.

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?

this pair of black sandals that i have tan lines on my feet from how much ive worn them

19. sleeping position?

ill sleep however... i like sleeping on my left side. on my stomach with my head to the right. on my back with my arms crossover my chest to keep warm. at the end of the bed with my head where my feet should be. i dont move at all when i sleep so freshman year when i had a lofted bed i think my roommate was a bit concerned in the beginning when i refused a bedrail because she thought i might fall. i never fell which was nice.

23. strange habits?

oh man idk i probably have a lot of those but nothing i can think about right now when im being put on the spot.

in elementary school i used to refuse to step on the yellow tiles at school.

29. best way to bond with you?

talk to me about the stuff i love!!!! and watch the stuff i love with me!!!! i am always down to [whatever the rabb.it replacement is these days] stuff with people and just generally both yell at each other and be passionate about stuff. currently what im passionate about is the stuff im screaming over at @winstonbillions​ so talk to me about that stuff!! please. i am always 3 seconds from screaming about ANY of that stuff.

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

idk about outfits to kick ass and take names but i have outfits where i get my ass kicked and name taken aka what i wear to exams. which is my tower of pimps shirt which ive deemed lucky. is it lucky in any way? no, but i’m hoping if i wear it enough to exams it might.

37. suitcase or duffel bag?

duffel bag. suitcases are so large and unwieldily. that reminds me i have a suitcase of winter clothes in my trunk i need to take out.

41. last person you texted?

as in actual texts on my phone? that would be my dad. asking him if i should drop my class im failing. 

as for the last person i instant messaged, that would be one of my mutuals through my musical theater sideblog im currently yelling at about [musical theater related interest]. im not kidding guys talk to me about the stuff i post about on @winstonbillions​ PLEASE

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

2 months ago i would have said hoodie but im kinda becoming a cardigan kind of person now. theyre just Soft and and Long and Casual and i love them. hoodies are too hard to take off.

47. favorite type of cheese?

mild cheddar, american, and mozzarella. i actually only Recently started cataloging cheeses in my brain to their actual names so for my entire life i was like i just like cheese even though there are certain ones i hate like swiss and blue cheese.

53. what is the current state of your hands?

a bit cold and a bit tired from typing all the answers to all these asks tbh. but other than that good. i just cut my nails because they were atrociously long. 

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

“worm” or “fuck” or “no!” according to my roommate

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

oh my ogdokh oym ogdos sd fdospohm to mo edf ucmign fugod mfyo uacant just ask me this im going to absolutely die

in absolutely no order, all from completely from memory, and favorite for a variety of different reasons

“fuck you, math man. if you’re such a genius why can’t you count to loyalty” - mafee in 4x11 lamster billions

“captain, he think, and feels that much more powerful” - luminousbeings in you don’t have to (say yes) the star trek fic

“more than you know, i understand wanting to walk away from the jedi”“i know.” - anakin skywalker and ahsoka tano in 5x12 the wrong jedi star wars the clone wars

“i won’t leave you, not this time.” “then you will die” - ahsoka tano and darth vader in 2x12 twilight of the apprentice star wars rebels

“there is nothing so pure as a man on a mission. when faced with the fire, never quivers or runs. there is nothing so noble as sticking together, for lonely is the life lead when sticking to its guns." - narrator in bloodsong of love by joe iconis

“now i’ve got myself a name and i’m ready to risk it with a battle cry disguised as a sing-along” - never heard nothing by joe iconis

“i’m frickin done with being the loser, the wuss, the underdog. being the misfit, the old school analog. being the oddball, the weakling freak. the failure, the sucker, the please-don’t-speak. oh i can’t hardly wait for the moment when i’m not the loser the geek or whatever, ever again” - jeremy heere in be more chill by joe iconis

“i’m tired of being the person that everyone thinks that i am” - various in be more chill by joe iconis

“q is for quantitative, baby!” - winston in 4x12 extreme sandbox billions

“the cheering is just as important as the song” - lisa and ms. werring in the black suits by joe iconis

“first, best destiny” - spock in star trek ii wrath of khan

“be proud of your place in the cosmos. it is small, and yet it is. how unlikely. how fantastic, and stupid. and excellent.” - cecil in welcome to night vale old oak doors part b

“are we living a life that is safe from harm? of course not. we never are. the questions is are we living a life that is worth the harm?” - cecil in welcome to night vale parade day

“as I turned and my eyes beheld you, i displayed emotion. i beg forgiveness.” - spock somewhere in star trek tos

“the sky collapsed without a sound. these broken pieces hit the ground.  the rain fell down around me and i drowned, but i will save you.” - part of me from dear evan hansen

“this is, after all, the story of how i died” - epsilon in the rvb13 trailer

“and while the law has many punishments for the atrocities we inflict on others, there are no punishments for the terrors we inflict on ourselves.” - the director in the s6 finale of red vs blue

that was in no way an exhaustive list but all i could think of at the moment

67. good luck charms?

not really any tbh. i try to wear my tower of pimps shirt whenever i take an exam but that’s about it.

71. least favorite pattern?

what does this even fucking mean?????? i will say the observer design pattern in programming because i don’t understand it well despite having used it twice now.

73. favorite weird flavor combo?

oh god idk why are all these questions getting harder. nothing i can think of at the moment.

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?

i say school id tentatively, but neither of them looks great. my school id photo was a selfie.

83. writing or drawing?

writing. i wish to GOD i could draw and i probably could if i put in the amount of time i need to to learn how to draw but im a lazy bastard. but i’m not that great at writing either as i’ve found out. everything is way too short and out of character and too venty and i am weird about letting people i know read what i write (sorry @ all the people who keep asking me to let them read my writing.  it’s not that great you’re not missing out at all and i hate the Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known) and i abandon ideas literal minutes after getting them.

89. who would you put before everyone else?

what the fuck kind of question is this?????? i GUESS the answer should be me but uh i am not even putting myself before myself as i am procrastinating on a shitload of homework with this. i guess my “close” friends. they’re pretty chill. but generally ill do anything for anyone all you have to do is ask.

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

4, my own, my home landline, my dad’s cell, and my dad’s work.

[leelee10898]

Born to love you: This kiss (4/?)

Leo & Alicia

A closer look at how these two came to be, and all the moments in between. If you haven't read the original when Leo met Alicia, you should do so as some moment coincided with each other. Find this and other adventures HERE

This is from the CGW(CORDONIANS gone wild) AU. A collaborative effort by @ao719 @speedyoperarascalparty @cocomaxley @riseandshinelittleblossom and myself.

A couple days had passed since their kiss. Leo had agreed to participate in a charity motocross event so he was not around, leaving each of them time to think about it.

There was a gala for disaster relief in portavia, Alicia and Anitah would be meeting in the boutique to find a dress and then they were meeting Drakes girlfriend pam for lunch.

She walked through the halls in a daze, that kiss still heavy on her mind. Her feet on autopilot as they carried her to the boutique. She walked inside, Anitah already there.

“Hey, you ok? You look tired.” Anitah arched her brow.

“Oh. Yeah i'm fine. Just some stuff on my mind that's all.”

They browsed through the racks grabbing putting a few gowns aside to try on.

“So, what did you and Leo do the other day?” Anitah spoke up, breaking the silence.

"Oh, we went for lunch and then he took me to the beach."

“The private beach?” Anitah stopped looking up at Alicia.

"Ah yeah, he said they hold the beach party there during the regatta." She continued browsing the racks.

“Yes!” Anitah smiled at the memory. “Then they have the beach party afterwards. Liam took me to this place there during the social season.”

"It wasn't a waterfall, was it?" Alicia furrowed her brow.

“It was,” she grinned.

“The Forgotten Falls.” they said at the same time. Anita's eyes went wide as Alicia's face lit up

" I don't think ive ever seen anything so beautiful in my life."

“Yeah, it’s amazing! Did you jump off the cliff?” Anitah asked, now suspicious.

"we did. For, um scientific purposes." She blushed at the memory of their almost kiss.

“Mmhmm,” Anitah gave her a knowing look.

"What? I know that look Anitah. Whatever is going through that head of yours,  NO."

“I’m thinking that you’re full of shit and you’re crushing on Liam’s brother. That’s what I’m thinking.”

"I am not. He's a cool guy Anitah, we are friends that's all. We jumped off a cliff, And yes, he told me about the legend." She crossed her arms in defense.

“Oh, you mean the legend that if two _lovers_ climb to the top of the waterfall and jump in together, they’ll get the blessing of the lady of the waterfall. But yeah...you’re just friends...” she rolled her eyes.

"Hey, it was my idea. We aren't lovers and never will be. So in theory there's nothing to bless."

“Ok...so did anything happen while you were at the lovers waterfall as just friends?” she questioned.

"No, nothing happened at the waterfall. Liam called and we went back to the palace to change. We snuck out but um, Madeline caught us."

Anitah eyed her curiously. “Nothing happened....”

"Nope, not at the falls or the bar we went to." Alicia avoided eye contact. Anitah was good at getting things out of her.

“You’re not looking at me...which means either something really did happen...or almost happened...and you’re not telling me.”

"We almost kissed, twice.” She blurted out.  “But liam called the first time. And then my mom the second."

“I knew it!!” Anitah shouted

"Were just friends. Nothing is going to happen between us, so wipe that smirk off your face crazy lady. I'm leaving in a few weeks remember."

“Keep telling yourself that.” Anitah smirked.

They found their dresses and had them taken to their respective rooms and headed to the Capitol for lunch. They walked into the restaurant, Pam already waiting. “Hey pam.” Anitah hugged her “This is my best friend from back home Alicia. Alicia this is Pam, she's Drake's girlfriend.”  Alicia smiled “Hi pam. Nice to meet you.” pam held out her hand to shake it “A friend of Anitahs is a friend of mine, we hug.”

The ladies spent lunch laughing and talking about wedding plans. Anitah wanting them all to get together to look for bridesmaids dresses. She would have loved to go to New York to look for her dress and the bridesmaids dresses, but cordonia would have to do. “So  Alicia, will you be bringing a date to the wedding?” Pam asked. “Oh, no. I will be flying solo.” her answer causing Anitah to snicker, Alicia gave her a pointed look. “Don't let her lie, she will be Leos date. I'm calling it now.” She giggled.

“Oh. Are you and Leo seeing each other?” pam grinned.

“No. We are just friends. Anitah here seems to think that I have some huge crush on him.”

“You dont almost kiss your friends.” Anitah snorted.

Alicia rolled her eyes focusing on Pam “So. How long have you  and Drake been dating?”

Pam filled her in on her and Drake's relationship. Pam and Anitah instantly hit it off when she came to council Regina after Constantine had passed, Alicia also seemed to get along well with her. Drake and pam would be at the Gala that night, so Anitah made arrangements for Alicia to sit with them.

Later that evening Alicia sat with Pam and Drake. Drake sat back enjoying his whiskey while Pam and Alicia shared stories of their home towns and growing up. The ladies deciding to have a few drinks to take the edge off especially being it was Alicia's first event. “Can I ask you a question?” Pam leaned in whispering.  “Sure, i'm an open book.” Alicia giggled tipsy. “Anitah seems to think you like Leo. Any truth to that?”

Alicia took a sip of her drink “Wellllll.” she drug the word out. “I may have a tinsey little crush on him. He's fucking hot.” she said a little louder. “Whos hot?” Drake whipped his head towards the women. “You are baby. Were just making small talk.” Pam kissed his cheek,  grabbing his legs a little closer to his crotch. He shot her a warning look as he focused on his drink. “sorry. That was a little loud.” Alicia giggled. “No shit.” pam snorted. “So, you almost kissed him? Do you see anything happening there?”

“Wellllll. I may not have been totally honest about that.” Pam looked at her waiting for her to finish.  “We did almost kiss, twice. But um we. Kinda. Did kiss. Later that night.” Alicia bit her lip.

“And you didn't tell Anitah?” Pam blurted out.

“No. I wanted to, but she would have read more into it than what it was. Which was just a kiss.”

“You sure that's all it was?” Pam shot her a look.

“Yes. That's all it can be. I am more of a relationship kind of girl. He is not a relationship guy, and i'm here temporarily you know?”

Pam nodded “And have you talked to him about it since?” “No.” She shook her head. “He's away on some charity race.”

The staff carried away their dinner plates as the music began to play, people filling the dance floor.  “But if he wasn't, would you talk to him about it?”

“Yeah. I would.” Alicia quickly answered.

“Well, looks like you're gonna get the chance, because he just walked in.” Pam pointed towards the door.

“Fuck. Don't let him see me.” Alicia squeaked ducking down under the table.

“Alicia, what the hell?get up here” Pam whispered, Drake arching his brow at the women.

“Hi Pam, Walker. How are you guys tonight?” Leo asked as he approached the table. “Hi Leo. Good to see you again.” Pam politely greeted. “Rhys. What brings you over here?” Drake grunted as pams hand slipped up his leg, trying to distract him from the fact Alicia was under the table. “Well, you know Anitah's friend Alicia? I Was told she was sitting back here.” He looked around.

“Oh she's, YIKES.” Drake gasped as pam gripped his cock as he kicked his leg out, connecting with Alicia's ass.

“Ouch, fuck.” Alicia jumped up banging her head on top of the table.  

Leo gave the two a puzzled look as he leaned down lifting the table cloth.

Alicia crawled out “Sorry pam, I couldn't find it.”

“Oh. That's ok, thanks for looking.” pam played along.  “Find what? What were you doing under the table?” Leo questioned, amused.

“Oh. Ahhh. Pams contact.she ah, lost it” Alicia quickly answered.

“Huh? Pam didn't loooooohh.” Drake gasped again as pam firmly gripped his now hard length.

“Drake seems to be having a little bit of an issue. Come on Drake, let's go outside for some air.” Drake and pam stood swiftly making their way to the exit. Leaving Leo and Alicia standing there awkwardly.  

“Ah Hi.” she looked to the ground, biting her bottom lip.

“Hi. Dance with me?” He asked. She nodded her head and took his hand onto the dance floor. “I thought you were at a race.”

“I was, I finished early and rushed back here in time for the gala.” he spun her around. “How come?” they effortlessly glided across the room. “Well, it was your first gala, I wanted to be here so you weren't alone.” She blushed “Oh. Well that was sweet of you.” he twirled her around again as he led her across the floor.  “Wow, you're a really good dancer.”

“Thanks. I took lessons as a kid, and even now.” she smiled sheepishly.

“You take lessons now?”

“Yep. Mostly pop and hip hop. I took tap, jazz and ballet as a kid. Got into ballroom in my early teens and even into adulthood.”

“Wow, you're just full of surprises. I can't seem to fully figure you out.” He chuckled.

The song came to an end, they stood on the floor, looking into each other's eyes. “I think we need to talk. About the other night.” She spoke up, afraid if she stared any longer into those piercing blues, she wouldn't be able to stop what would inevitably happen.

They agreed to meet in Leos quarters after she quickly changed. They sat on the couch, picking a movie. “So, the other night.” He said.

“Yeah. Leo, it was amazing.”

“ but?” she gave him a polite smile.

“But I don't think it's a good idea to complicate things.”

“I'm not sure how kissing complicates things.”

“Well, kissing Generally leads to other things, and that would just be a fucking mess.”

“What other things?” He grinned.

“Fucking, Leo! I'm not going to fuck you. And if I kiss you again, I'm pretty sure im gonna wanna.” She shouted.

“So what you're saying is you want to fuck me?”  he shot her a sly smirk.

She threw her head back and groaned.  

“Im saying we need to keep this strictly friends. No kissing or anything else. Just hanging out, as friends. Ok?”

“Ok. Ok. Anything you want love.” he smirked again.

The man made her weak in the knees. That damn smirk, those bright blue eyes. She couldn't let her guard down, because if she did, she knew she was a goner. Those soft amazing lips of his, that kiss still heavy on her mind. She forced herself to push the thoughts out.

They started the movie and sat there eating popcorn. Each stealing glances at each other.  About ¾ way through the movie Alicia dozed off, Falling into Leos lap. He smiled as his hand gently stroked her hair.

He enjoyed this, hanging out, watching movies or tv together.  Having dinner together or breakfast. He would be lying if he said it wasn't something he could get used to, but he just couldn't bring himself to want a relationship. The entire time he was gone during the charity race his thoughts were of her, and getting back to the palace to see her.

He stood up grabbing a blanket and pillow, laying her back on the couch, Just like a few days prior. He went into his room laying down, the exhaustion of being awake for the past 24 hours washing over him, he passed out.

He started to stir the next morning somewhere in between sleep and awake. He swore he could smell her shampoo, her perfume still on his pillow. He held it tighter “mmmm that's nice.” he softly moaned as he started to drift back to sleep.

“Leo. Oh Leo. Yes.” His eyes flew open at the sound. He wasn't hugging his pillow, it was her. She was laying in his bed, pressed up against him. And moaning his name? He could feel his length growing. “Shit. shit. shit” he groaned as he tried everything to make it stop.

He tried to move but she grabbed his shirt pulling him against her lips. He froze for a moment, not sure what to do. But as soon as he felt her tongue slide between his lips, he melted into the kiss. The kissing slowed her eyes popped open. Frozen in horror as a pair a blue eyes stared back.

“Oh my god.” she gasped. “What happened?”

“I don't know? I woke up and you were there.” he panicked. “And then you moaned my name and grabbed my shirt kissing me.”

She stood up pacing the floor. “how did this happen again? I didn't moan your name.” she snapped.

“You did. I heard it and then. He looked down, his length fully erect.” he grabbed a pillow placing it over his stiff cock.

“Were you. Having a sex dream?”

She opened her mouth to speak, snapping it shut again.

She was having a sex dream about him. And it was amazing.

“Leo I.” She was interrupted by the sound of knocking at the door.

“Leo, you in there?”

“Shit, its Liam. Just, stay here.” Leo panicked as he closed the door and ran to answer Liam.

Alicia paced in the room. What the hell was going on? How did she keep ending up in his bed? And that dream, what was that about. Did she want him? God she knew she did, but she couldn't, she didn't do flings.  Something about Leo made her want to throw caution to the wind.

Liam left Leo stood there frozen. What just happened? He left her on the couch, asleep. Just like he did a few days ago. And then he wakes up and shes in his bed. Only this time she's dreaming of him, and then kissed him. And that kiss, it was brief but so much passion behind it. God he wanted her, so bad. He couldn't deny it anymore. He took a deep breath and walked back into the room.

“What did he want?” She asked.

“Pack a bag. Were going to New York.”

Tag: @annekebbphotography @carabeth @moneyfordiamonds @give-me-ernest-sinclaire @3pawandme @indiacater @ooo-barff-ooo @ownworldresident @tornbetween2loves @perfectprofessorherokid @stopforamoment @editboutique @wannabemc2 @zaffrenotes @enmchoices @lauradowning29 @lodberg @smalltalk88 @gibbles82 @heatherfilliez @drakesensworld @nikkis1983 @sweetest-marbear @classylady1234 @daniv2278 @rainbowsinthestorm @jared2612 @liamxs-world @notoriouscs @blubutterflyy @captain-kingliamsqueen @whenyourheartskipsabeat @lynne1993 @coldcollectornight08 @be-still-my-aching-heart @dcbbw

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