#and ive been slowly building it back up

[your-jellyfish-senpai]

This is just a personal post for posterity because it has been a fucking time this year, the last two months in particular.

The tl;dr current situation is: Ryan and I both have a crush on the same person and are considering a very specific kind of polyamory

The long story is so much more complicated than that because my own feelings were on a several-month delay so I instead started off with a major breakdown after learning that Ryan had a crush on a mutual friend because of my own insecurities (ample, plentiful, all-consuming) and fears (being abandoned, being replaced, not being good enough, etc.)

Avoiding the specifics because it's truly way too much to get into and frankly, much of what I initially felt, I've dealt with or completely done a 180 at this point lol.

But yeah. Even like, two weeks ago, the concept of polyamory for myself and our relationship freaked me the fuck out. But now it's an open conversation and who fucking knows what's gonna happen.

Anyway. I still have a lot of work to do because my body image is truly horrendous and I've only recently realized that not everyone has the depth and intensity of self-hatred for their physical appearance that I do. And Ryan has been telling me that they think I am "much more attractive" than I think I am. To which I can't help but respond "sounds fake but okay" or "wild if true."

This has been such a fucking insane period of my life and I haven't really talked about it with anyone except Ryan (and Kaden, ty Kaden) so if you're an IRL friend reading this... sorry lol it's been Complicated and Uncomfortable and Scary As Hell.

But no matter what happens here on out, I do at least feel pretty secure in our relationship and feel like we've once again leveled up our communication.

[rindomness]

hello hi tell us about mementos and the security level

OH HELLO. Welcome to my personal hill to die on. This post is long. It's one of my out-loud rants in text form. Sorry in advance. There's a cut down there somewhere.

Thesis statement of whatever's about to come next is that Mementos fucks actually as a concept its execution was just horrible and also Yaldabaoth is a terrible final boss. OKAY LET'S GET INTO IT

First things first I really do think Mementos should have gotten a security level. The game plays "Mementos is the public's Palace" very straight, all the way to the end, insisting that Yaldabaoth is created by the public's desire for a status quo yadda yadda yadda. So like. Here's the screenshots actually

I didn't get the whole conversation mostly because I think I was streaming at the time and complaining out loud but like. He just straight-up says this? And then they do nothing with it???

Imagine this with me. Enter the imagisphere or whatever.

It's October. You've just defeated Okumura, and you just watched the mysterious black-masked figure you've been told cryptically about for a while now kill his Shadow. You watch Okumura have a mental shutdown live. It's horrific! It's worrying! What happened? What's going to happen to you? The Phan-Site meter starts dropping rapidly. You go to Mementos to prepare for the next Palace.

There's a security level.

NOT ONLY did this act make the public lose faith in you, but now you're enemy #1, and it's reflected in the collective unconscious. This Chekov's gun that they set up back in May goes off. You have to be much more careful in Mementos because if you aren't, you could get kicked out. The stakes are higher. Mementos, the public view of you, has changed. It's not just doors opening for you anymore.

THAT WOULD BE SO COOL. RIGHT? RIGHT??? BUT NO! No we don't get a security level until the depths, which contradicts itself, actually, because once you get to the depths, the whole POINT is that the public ISN'T reacting to you or your actions! Why the hell would they care that you're In There!

The obvious answer is that it's because the security level belongs to the Holy Grail/Yaldabaoth/the fuckass cup/whatever you personally call him. And okay, whatever, but the game goes out of its way to establish that the Grail isn't really a separate entity from "public desire," he IS "public desire," the status quo incarnate, so once again, I ask, why is this the only time you have a security level! (I know it's because this is the home-stretch to the final boss and mechanically it has to act like a proper Palace. I still think it's stupid.)

And now that I'm talking about the Grail. Hi. Hello. If you've talked to me on Discord you already know this but I fucking hate the Grail. I think it's stupid. I think it's thematically inconsistent. I think its only purpose is to be the "Let's fight God!" final boss. I truly believe that if I hadn't gotten into Persona 5 through Royal, I would not still be into Persona 5, because I would have gotten so frustrated with Yaldabaoth that I would have dropped the game. I regularly complain for half an hour straight about this thing in voice calls. One person once told me the only thing they knew about Persona 5 was that this cup sucked because I wouldn't shut up about it.

I've somehow managed to not do this on Tumblr but I can't really talk about Mementos without talking about it so I guess we're talking about the cup

Narratively: Yaldabaoth just sort of comes out of nowhere??? The whole game is building up to Shido. The whole game. And you do it! You defeat him! And then... there's this other thing??? Apparently??? I was genuinely really confused when I got to this part of the game the first time because I was going ok we beat the final boss complete with eight hundred phases! Hooray! And now there's this other fucker. Going back through the game there's some foreshadowing for him? But it's kind of all concentrated in the start of the game, around Madarame's Palace, when you're just getting used to Mementos, and then it all sorta just disappears.

YOU KNOW WHAT IS FORESHADOWED, THOUGH? MORGANA.

Imagine with me x2 because this is where I thought the game was taking us when it went "btw we need to tackle the depths now"

Morgana has no memories. Morgana knows there's something in the depths that explains who he is. Morgana assumes it's because he's human, and will become human again if he finds out what it is. The WHOLE POINT of exploring Mementos was for Morgana's memories! And then he starts getting these really unsettling dreams, right, where he's a Shadow, or has a Shadow, or whatever. And then you get to the depths.

What I thought was about to happen was that we were going to find out that Morgana was more or less what the Grail claims to be(a being created by the wishes of the masses) and that Mementos was going to be Morgana's Palace. "Oh but Morgana has a Persona-" Morgana's already a weird case I could easily see him having a Shadow or being a Shadow himself while also having a Persona. I'm ignoring Maruki because we're talking about vanilla and Maruki didn't exist yet.

I thought our final boss was going to be Mona's Shadow and that by defeating him(the part of Morgana(as a Shadow/Metaverse being/etc) representative of what they were trying to make Yaldabaoth: wanting to let the status quo handle everything, more or less, the desire to let the system do what it's designed to even if that thing is "crush everything in its path") we would reaffirm that change is possible as long as we all work together. Morgana getting to be this very physical symbol of rebellion and force of will and getting to go NO I want to try even if it hurts me.

What actually happened was... a lot more underwhelming.

What we got was, in a game where one of the primary themes is "rebellion against systemic injustice, you can't just get rid of the One Guy and fix Everything," a final boss who was... one guy who if you got rid of him you'd fix everything?

And I get it Atlus doesn't want to actually shake the boat that much but at the same time Yaldabaoth comes out of nowhere and says absolutely nothing of substance in a game that, over and over again, gets SO CLOSE to saying something really powerful and then sinking back into what's comfortable. It's the aesthetic of rebellion without the teeth of it.

Anyway now that I've complained for an essay's worth here's some positive stuff

I really do like Mementos. It gets a lot of shit for being repetitive and boring and like I sort of get that but on the other hand it is a JRPG. I'm not sure what you expected from the area that is, mechanically, "Here's where you go to grind." I don't see a problem with having this area. I think the special floor events manage to spice it up enough that it's not all that boring. I like Jose being there in Royal, I think he adds a lot, actually. The implications of everything Jose says are fascinating to me. The fact it's impacted by the weather! Like, as a world component, Mementos is so so cool actually guys. I know it's a Persona game so "world impacted by cognition" is sort of the bare minimum but it's really cool!!! The aesthetics fuck! The only layer I really don't like is.. fuck, I think it's Kaitul? Whichever one gets unlocked after Kaneshiro's Palace, I haven't gotten there in my current playthrough yet. It's just... too dark to see, all the time, imo. Mementos feels(except for... 90% sure it's Chemdah) very oppressive and spooky and I honestly think that's great. It's a depressing place to be! For a game about how corruption and systemic violence hurts everybody, it's really good!

In conclusion... don't ask me about Mementos unless you want an essay LMAO in seriousness I understand why Mementos gets shit but I think it should get less of it. And also that I could have fixed it(the cup. The cup is the big bad part of Mementos. Not the grinding you're going to get that with a JRPG no matter what you do you signed up for it when you launched the game.)

[hcdgepcdge]

.

[broke-on-books]

😍😍😍

[marsti]

my 2 favorite tops dont fit me anymore i think i might cry

[floorpancakes]

lately im too busy+also just not very consistently good at drawing the characters but i have 5000 ideas for holic art in my notes app notes. lately this crossover idea has been on the brain because im HIGHLY predictable in my idol gacha game biases

actually fuck it one more for the list I REALLY want to draw watanuki in calm night archer mafuyu....its one of my fav outfits in the whole game the blue and gold and archery theme is so fucking based. oh boy i wonder why that appeals to me...

[kurokawaia]

NSFW HEADCANNONS 彡 Shoto Todoroki

| MDNI - 18+ | WARNINGS :: shoto todoroki x fem!reader, heavy teasing, intense tension, suggestive touches, breathy whispers, neck kisses, and shoto absolutely ruining you with his self-control, somnophilia warning! fingering, oral -> female recieving, hair pulling + more? HEADCANNONS. total wc :: 500~

• At first, Shoto doesn’t pick up on teasing or innuendos. You could say something flirty, and he’ll tilt his head in confusion. But the second he realizes? Oh, he uses it against you.

• Once he knows he can make you blush, he will test his limits. He’ll brush his fingers over your lips while pretending to "wipe something off" or lean just close enough to make your heart race. And if you get shy? He just gets even more bold

• He loves running his fingers over your skin, just to feel the contrast of his warmth and ice against you. He'll casually trace patterns on your thighs or back, acting like it’s no big deal, but he knows what he’s doing.

• Normally, Shoto has a calm tone, but when he leans in and murmurs something right against your ear? It’s low and smooth, and yeah, your knees might just give out and your folded right away. YOu think he doesn't know what he is doing until you do.

• If you're teasing him while he's focused on something, he’ll grab your chin and make you look at him. You can't do anything but freeze in shock. And you're about to fall over when he says, “Do you want my attention that badly?” in that deep smooth voice 😵‍💫

• Whether it’s innocent or not, the second you sit on his lap, he’s gripping your waist. He doesn’t say anything, but the way his fingers tighten? Yeah, he’s holding back.

• Play-fighting? Trying to escape his grip? Not happening. Shoto will have you pinned against a wall, arms trapped, his breath ghosting over your skin like it’s nothing. And then he’ll just stare at you, amused. “Go on. Try to move.”

• Shoto doesn’t rush things, but the build-up? He’s a master at it. A touch on your waist, a slow glance, the way he pulls you closer when no one’s watching, it’s torture. And he knows it.

• Shoto goes absolutely feral when you tug on his hair. It doesn't matter if he is between your thighs, slowly eating out your dripping cunt, playing with your puffy clit or pushing deep into your walls with his cock that your fingers are tugging on his hair, he just loves it so much. He groans just at the feeling, it doesn't have to be a sexual moment, he will lean back into your touch.

• As much as Shoto loves having to take you awake, he has this thing, something he can't explain, but he just can't stop himself seeing you drowsy or asleep without getting some dirty thought. Your body being so relaxed in his hold and what you're wearing just gets him going, he doesn't want to feel that way, especially while you are borderline sleeping but he can't help it.

• Loves foreplay, and I mean LOVES foreplay. Seeing you becoming a mess over his fingers and/or tongue is more pleasure than he needs. The way you tug at his hair, try to arch away in pleasure, the soft mewls mixed with moans and breathless sighs is more than enough for him.

Do not copy, steal, modify, etc. Relogs and like are appreciated.

HONEYS A/NOTE :: Ive been trying to get out of a writing slump, i have seen yalls requests for the full oneshot with shoto and somno headcannon! it will be coming soon hopefully, dropping heacannon and drabble requests in my inbox helps get me out a slump, so if any of you have any thoughts please drop them in (^///^)

come check this out @crushmeeren when you have the time ^^

[littleprinces]

Day 21: Praising Kink

IVE Liz x Male Reader

Kinkvember Day 21

Happy Liz Day!

It was a cold winter evening, and I had planned a special surprise for my wife Liz on her 20th birthday. We had been married for two years, She was my little sister and now we get married and she was more beautiful than ever. I couldn't wait to show her how much I still desired her.

I poured us each a glass of wine and led her to the living room, where I had dimmed the lights and lit some candles. I took her hand and looked into her eyes. "Happy birthday, my love, Kim Jiwon" I said, my voice husky with desire. "I have a special surprise for you."

Liz looked at me with a mixture of curiosity and excitement. "What is it?" she asked.

"You'll have to wait and see," I said, taking a sip of my wine. "But I promise you, it will be worth it."

I took Liz's glass from her and set it down on the coffee table. Then I pulled her close and kissed her deeply, my tongue exploring her mouth. She responded eagerly, her body pressing against mine.

"You're so beautiful," I whispered, my hands roaming over her curves. "I'm so lucky to have you."

Liz smiled, her eyes shining with pleasure. "I'm the lucky one," she said. "You always make me feel so loved and desired."

I picked Liz up in my arms and carried her to the bedroom. I laid her down on the bed and began to undress her, my lips and hands caressing her soft skin. She moaned with pleasure as I kissed my way down her body, my tongue exploring every inch of her.

"You're so wet," I said, my fingers sliding easily inside her. "I can't wait to be inside you."

"Yes, please," Liz begged, her hips bucking against my hand. "I need you inside me now."

I positioned myself between Liz's legs and entered her slowly, savoring the feeling of her tight pussy around my cock. She wrapped her legs around me and pulled me closer, her nails digging into my back.

"Harder," she moaned, her hips meeting my thrusts. "Fuck me harder."

I gave Liz what she wanted, pounding into her with all my strength. She screamed with pleasure, her orgasm building with every thrust. I could feel myself getting close, my balls tightening with pleasure.

"I'm going to cum," I gasped, my hips slamming against Liz's.

"Cum inside me," Liz begged, her pussy clenching around me. "I want to feel you cum inside me."

With a final thrust, I came hard, my cock pulsing inside Liz's pussy. She moaned with pleasure, her own orgasm rippling through her.

"Happy birthday, my love jiwonie," I whispered, collapsing beside her. "I hope that was a good surprise."

Liz smiled, her eyes shining with happiness. "It was the best surprise ever," she said, snuggling up against me. "I love you so much."

I wrapped my arms around Liz and held her close, feeling a deep sense of contentment. I knew that I had found my soulmate, and I would do everything in my power to make her happy for the rest of our lives.

[lostalioth]

𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐢𝐩𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞

→ premise: you knew steve loved when you called him sir, how the honorific rolled off your tongue and lit a fire in the pit of his stomach. so maybe it wasn’t the best idea to call him sir in a mocking tone on a mission.

→ pairing: steve rogers x fem!reader

→ warnings: smut | 18+, sir kink, edging, fingering, mention of spanking, nicknames [princess, little one]

→ a/n: kinktober 16

Steve spent the whole ride back from the mission keeping a death grip on your thigh and facing forward with a deadpan stare. He wasn't per say mad at you but you knew you were in for it when you made it back to the base.

You had called him sir in a tone dripping with sarcasm and an eye roll when he gave you an order during the mission. The honorific wasn't new to you or Steve, it was something you learned about your boyfriend in the bedroom, he loved it when you called him sir. It wasn't a name he was called when he was a leader everyone just always called him cap.

So to hear it roll off your tongue in the middle of a mission in an almost mocking manner has his insides turning, cause it still sent that throb down through his cock.

He wasn't as mad that you said it in front of the others as he was with the way you said it. Yes because of the tone you got a laugh out of Tony in response but Steve didn't find it as amusing.

And that was how you ended up spread out on Steve’s bed, your thighs spread to accommodate your boyfriend's large frame between them. A stinging pain still lingering on your ass cheeks from the beginning half of your punishment, his rough palm. The latter half of your punishment was being relentlessly edged, Steve not allowing you to come no matter how many times you apologize sweetly and desperately. His long fingers were currently buried deep inside you curling upwards to hit that blissful spot deep inside you. That spot that has you squirming and crying out for release when he pulls them back right as your body tenses up and your orgasm is building, making you whine out at the loss of pleasure.

“Sir… pleasee ive been s’good i just need to cum, i promise i wont do it again” you whimper out, trying to grind your hips down on his fingers and fuck yourself on them or get him to move them. “See now i don't think you have, little one” he lightly shakes his head before he grabs ahold of your hip with his free hand. His fingers slowly pull out further making you let out a pathetic whine thinking he was stopping all together. But before you can protest or beg him not to, his fingers plunge inside you in a sharp thrust that has your head spinning. “Ahh~ Sir…pleasee m’gonna cum, wanna cum s’bad” you whine and mumble out, the hour or so of edging that has been going on has begun to make an ache settle in your core and not the good kind.

His fingers curl up again as they pound into you making your vision go blurry, your head spinning as your orgasm builds, growing more and more getting ready to crash into you. The sound of his chuckle rings in your ears and as fast as he pushes them in, Steve pulls his fingers back, not out but they stop their asslut of your g-spot. Your climax comes crashing down instead of over you, the building feelings dissipating in your stomach, your hips bucking and squirming.

“Sirrr pleasee it hurtss, neeed to cum” you cry out, your eyes screwing shut in slight pain as well as frustration.

”You wanted to be a little brat during the mission princess, this is all on you” he explains as his fingers slowly begin moving again though the switch in pace only has small gasps leaving your lips, your orgasm still far far away.

“I'm not done with you just yet, you gotta deal with the consequences to your actions little one” he cooed, leaning down to leave a small peck to your mouth before his free hands rubbed across your thighs that were starting to burn from being spread so wide for so long.

Steve had a long night planned ahead for you, though he did intend on letting you cum soon. He wouldn't be done even after that with you though, he was extremely worked up the entire ride back home. That three letter honorific does something to him he can't explain and he never wanted to hear you say it on a mission again. It's way too hard for him to keep his hands to himself when you do.

→ a/n: this is short, not proofread and kinda shit as im trying to rush to get back on track so maybe ill finish kinktober this year, i have hopefully one more post to do today, then just the last day which will either be posted on halloween or after after if im busy.

[miyaz6ki]

hi ive been reading ur works a lot recently and i enjoy them a lot!!! i love love ur writing sm hehe

if i may, can i request for a situation in where kinich and reader are friends (but have feelings for each other), and they basically have sex in a changing room while reader was asking him for his opinion for the swimwear they’d wear?

thats all thank u and pls take lots of rest !!

so sorry but i happened to make this nsfw plus afab!reader, no real gender for reader, kinich calls them flower :3

"kin'! can you come in here really quick?" you shouted from inside the second dressing room, scanning the way you looked in the mirror, twirl, and everything.

"flower, you're aware i'm a male about to enter a female dressing room?" he raised an eyebrow, later you both agreed on attending mualani's party as she came back from an abyss hunt, or at least celebrating the fact that her tribe continues to strive.

but neither of you really swam too often, resulting in no real swimwear you both regularly wore. mualani gave you a few recommendations, but you really couldn't decide.

"jus' get in here, need you for this!" you exclaimed. hesitance clear in his steps, shit you needed him? he felt his swim trunks tighten as he heard that. he already chose clothes out earlier, just finding whatever was nearest to his hair's color and went with it.

he sat right outside the stalls of the ones you changed inside. still reluctant about stepping in to assist you with "choosing a color"? shit maybe he had to check if he got the wrong size on his swimwear.

damn, maybe the moonlight-colored one looked better. or- no, maybe the one that matched your eyes.. shit what about the one that were the color of his?! he couldn't decide, but it was paradise getting to see you try different things on.

what smart, and bright idea did you have in mind that made you think it'd be a good idea to have him in the same damn room as he was while you changed.

the drop of your clothes only turned him on more, his ears turning a crazier shade of crimson. once you let him finally look, and turn around to let him get a three-sixty view of the next choice. getting a pretty little view of your ass, letting his eyes dip down a little too low when you turned back around to give a view of the front as well.

"well whaddya think!" you flash a soft smile, your hands on your waist. kinich has a hand over his mouth, in an attempt to cover the splices of his cheeks that transitioned to scarlet.

he starts walking closer, caressing his hands over your curves, every inch that he can reach, slowly exploring your body.

oh, well here you were—getting your cunt fucked crazy, letting your front face the mirror beautiful as he pounded your ass, nails dig into the soft flesh blissfully. "ssshit flower... you feel better than I imagined." he coos as the thickness of his dick hit your g-spot so heavenly.

it felt as though you sucked in his shaft perfectly. god if your pussy could speak for yourself, it'd be moaning the same way you were right now.

you could already feel the knot in your stomach tighten at the thought of this moment. "k- kin'.. ahh- fffuck anyone c- could walk in!" he chuckles with a sinister tone, raspy throat from groaning praise out into the shell of your ear, sending a few licks to it, making you shudder in pleasure.

"that's the thrill of it, pretty." he tilts your head up to make you look at the sexy scene in front of you, the mirror fogging up each time you whine, and sobs of pleasure from how it felt having someone inside you for the first time.

the calloused pads of his palms caressed your waist, his fingers marking not-so-deep crimson marks into your body. he slammed the very base of his cock into your cervix, making sure you felt everything, every inch, and width of his dick to your innermost parts.

the bliss of getting to feel every little building block fall into place as he continues his relentless pace into you. gushing your sobs, making sure they're quiet enough so the people outside wouldn't hear the way you wailed his name but loud enough for him to get turned on each damn time. your incessant pants definitely would've made it obvious to every person who passed by.

holy shit—if you kept squeezing onto him like that, he might just cum inside you and leave for the party, letting it drip as you both traveled over to toyac.

the seat underneath you creaked, "kin'! fuck," you whined as he shushed you again, fingers fitting nicely into your mouth. "q- quiet baby.. i know y'r close.." his eyes closely observed the way your chest rose, and fell, addicted to the way your body had hurried reactions to how good his cock felt up your entrance.

"y'knew haa- 'bout how i'd react nnnh- didn't you, sweetheart? hnnn-" he whispered next to the shell of your ear once more, filled with sultry lust—kissing your cheek. his hands roamed your body, feeling you up and down as much as he could.

"wan- no. need to cum together, baby.. cum with me." he sounded as if to plead, but his emerald-amber orbs you saw in the mirror spoke out in hunger, a starved man who only wants even more of your essence all over his cock.

there it was—sticky loads of milky-white released into you. kinich's hand reached under to feel the bulge he made into your stomach. he places a deep love mark into your neck as he moans into your skin. arching your back away from his chest unlike how previously you could feel his clenched abs on your spine.

"f- fffuck!" you had to cover your mouth since his digits removed themselves out and from your mouth. kinich sends swipes and licks over your collarbone and nape.

after a few minutes of breathy pants, and whimpers. he left himself inside you for a bit, lifting you up to face him as he sat down against he mirror this time instead of back shotting you from behind—

"so.. i get the feeling that you like this one the most?" you looked down onto the swimsuit that matched—even complimenting his, mualani would tease you two about it, but to be fair it is you two.

"..i'll buy it for you."

[sheaabuttaababyy]

Regret - JU and RR

Jey x Faith x Roman

Warning: Lots of Angst, masturbation, slight fluff

Sobs left Faith body as Josh sat across from her, silent. Guilt written all over his face. She wiped her tears, but it was no use. Fresh ones streaming down her face as she looked at the man sitting in front of her.

"Why? I don’t understand. I’ve been there for you for everything your ups and down. Whenever you needed me I was there. Now your leaving me for her? The one who broke your heart that I healed?" Another sob leaving Faith’s mouth at the end of her sentence.

Josh winced at her words, not knowing what to say. "I-im sorry, I didn’t mean any of this to happen." He gripped his mullet feeling stressed.

Faith scoffed standing up, anger building up inside her. "The fuck you mean you didn’t mean for this to happpen? You been fucking your ex for months while we’re engaged and got her fucking pregnant. And now here you are telling me you are leaving me to go build a family with her!!!"

"Faye, I know your mad and you every right to be, but I have to be there for my kid. I know it hurts but Emma is different now, she isn’t the same girl who used to break my heart and use me for my money. She loves me.

"I LOVE YOU, IVE ALWAYS LOVED YOU THROUGH EVERYTHING. I never cared if you had money or if you were broke I Loved you Josh, and this is how you repay me!?"

"I’m sorr-"

"It’s always I’m sorry, oh I’m so sorry for hurting you, fuck you piece of shit. Your nothing you fucking cunt. You and that walking std deserve each other. I hope she gives you a fucking disease from how many niggas she fucks daily" Josh blinked not believing what he was hearing. This wasn’t the sweet faith he knew.

"Just get the fuck out my house and give me my fathers ring back" Eyes going to his left hand, where the ring sat on his ring finger. Slowly twisting the black band off, he held it in his palm, it quickly getting snatched out his hand.

"Take this mothafucka too, give it to that bitch" Taking her engagement ring off throwing it directly at the forehead at her now Ex-fiancé, bouncing off and falling in his lap. He picked it up holding it in her direction. "You can keep this, it’s still yours"

"I don’t want it. I don’t want anything you gave me or anything that has a trace of you. I want you burned out my Brain, no reminder of you" Josh stared at her in disbelief, his chest starting to feel heavy.

"The fuck you just sitting there looking stupid for? Get. The. Fuck. Out" finally standing up, he got up going towards the front door before leaving, his eyes now burning.

3 months. 3 months since that night and Josh’s life has been, hell.

Currently he was sitting in his living room, staring at nothing in particular. "Joshyyy pooh" Emma’s loud annoying voice, was heard making him roll his eyes. "What?" He knew he responded harshly but he didn’t care, she’s been on his nerves.

"I need some money" of course, money. It was always money with her. "I already gave you so much already. Where did all that go?"

"I spent it all on shopping" she spoke like it was nothing. "You shopped for the baby too right? Cause that’s what most of the money was for"

"Why would I use the money you gave me for the baby?" Josh looked at her as if she was dumb. Which she was.

"Emma don’t piss me off right now. You literally said that’s why you needed it"

"Oh I spent that on a Birkin bag" she giggled, pissing him off even more. "Pleaseeeee" she got on her knees pulling on his shorts. His face was straight, not reacting at all. Once she got his pants and boxers down, she took ahold of his soft dick.

Five minutes of trying to get it up, but it was still on soft. "What is wrong with you? It’s been three months and your dick still can’t get hard" Josh just shrugged not even bothering to look at her as he grabbed his phone. It’s been like this for months now, everytime he tries to do anything sexual with Emma, his dick could never get hard anymore.

She huffed scrabbling up to get back on her feet. "Can I just get some money now? I tried at least." Josh shook his head, eyes still on his phone. "No" Emma let out a frustrated scream, stomping to the front door, leaving the house.

"Finally" Joshua whispered relieved that the cause of his headache was gone, as he logged onto his fake account on instagram. Immediately he went to Faiths page scrolling through her pictures.

As he continued to scroll, his dick jumped seeing her pretty face and body. "Fuckk" he clicked on her bikini picture, grabbing his dick that was now standing hard and tall.

He spat on his hand, bringing it back to his lower half, stroking himself. "Fuck, Faith. Why you gotta be so sexy" he groaned tossing his head back, imagining it was her he was fucking. Remembering how her sweet moans were, how her ass would ripple each time he fucked her from the back, how good her pussy tasted on his tongue. His eyes shot open feeling his nut coming, his eyes fixated on his phone, looking at the picture of her.

"Aghhh fuck" he shouted his hand moving faster. His body stilled, stomach flexing as ropes of cum shot out his tip. "Fuckk faithhh" he whimpered, coming down from his high. He sighed, looking up at the ceiling. What the fuck has his life come to?

Looking back at his phone he was about to exit out but noticed her new picture. The fuck? He clicked up the picture of her sitting on pink flower petals.

Faithmonae ✔️

Liked by Trinity fatu, Roman Reigns, Kehlani and others

FaithMonae✔️ My man really went all out for me🥹❤️

KennedyRyan New man!?!?

WWE_gossip Tea for meeee

Natnatpat Aww period get spoiled sis

Tinamonae Being treated the way you should. I know that’s right

Josh’s head flooded with a million questions, new man?? Who the fuck is this? Who did this for her? Has she really moved on from him that quickly? Getting up he went to the washroom to clean himself as he called his twin.

"Yoooo, what’s up?" Jon’s voice came through, but Josh had no time for funny talk. "Who the fuck is Faith’s man?" Jon went silent on the other end, irritating Josh further. "Stop playing with me Jon, who is he? I know her an Trinity still talk and she tells you everything."

"I don’t know man" the older twin replied. "Stop fucking lying to me!"

"you better watch your tone, before I do sum you won’t like. Plus I’m being for real i don’t know, she won’t even tell Trin who it is."

He rubbed a hand down his face feeling overwhelmed. This was all too much to take in. Josh knew he fucked up. Putting her through everything, leaving her for his Ex who did him wrong and is doing it again. He fucked up.

But he never expected her to move on. Especially this quick. "Tell Trinity to ask. Ima find out which fucker tryna take her from me."

"Bruh leave her alone. You already put her through so much shit, she’s finally moving on. Finally happy don’t ruin that for her."

Closing his eyes he listened to his brothers words. He should leave her alone, but he can’t. He wants her back. "You know I can’t do that Uce. I need her. All of this made me realize how much I need her, she’s my other half. I’m miserable without her."

"Well who’s fault is that?" Josh put his head down in shame. "Mine"

"Exactly. You need to focus on the child you put in that whore. If it even is yours."

"It is mine!" Josh shouted feeling anger. "I know how Emma is I get that. Her ass wouldn’t go that far and lie though, I know that for a fact."

"Right… anyways I gotta go lil bruh, talk to ya later"

Josh found himself driving to his twins house, as he got there he saw his cousin Joe and little brother Joseph already there a hanging out in the family room.

4 tequila shots in and he found himself spilling out everything he was feeling to them. "I took care of her, let that bitch stay in my house. Gave her everything she wanted, just for the baby to be someone else’s." He darkly chuckled taking another shot. The burning in his throat, feeling too good to him at the moment.

"5 months ago I thought I was gonna be a dad, I was ready to see my baby girl. And s-she" he swallowed back the sob that was built in his throat, washing it away with more alcohol. Remembering the day he was in the delivery room with Emma as she gave birth, the baby coming out looking nothing like him at all. And even freshly out you could tell, even the doctors and nurses knew it. And the way Emma cried as Josh questioned it. He knew for a fact it wasn’t his child.

"She lied to me. Used me. Again. I left the best thing that ever happened to me, to raise a child with her that wasn’t even mine" he gripped the tequila bottle not even bothering to pour it in the cup anymore.

"I mean you put yourself in this position. You made the decision to go back to her and fuck her. Even if she didn’t lie about this whole baby thing, you still fucked up, and ruined everything with Faith" Joe’s voice rang out, making everyone in the room look towards him.

Josh snarled, listening to his words. "I know man"

"Do you? Cause you treated Faith like shit. Fucking around with that dumb bitch Emma. She literally cheated on you multiple times when you were together." Joe let out a laugh before continuing. "You were so lucky to have Faith, she’s a woman every man wanted. Beautiful, smart, loyal, caring. She helped you at your lowest times, she’s the reason why you were doing so good in your career. Now look at you. A fucking bum, with a fucked up life." Joe stood up feeling slightly angry, still not believing how dirty his cousin did her.

"I told yo ass if you don’t treat her right, don’t get mad when someone else does. And look at you now, your mad cause now someone is treating her how she deserves and it isn’t you that’s doing it." Josh stood up, his cousins words triggering him. He knew he was right.

"MAN SHUT THE FUCK UP" Jon and Joseph quickly rushed between the two as they sized eachother up, looking ready to fight one another. "Chill chill" Jon pushed his twin slightly back. "Nah he got me fucked up" Josh threw the bottle at the wall causing it to shatter.

Joe stepped back, grabbing his keys off the glass table. He walked pass his cousins stopping at Josh. "Your pathetic" he smiled in his face before, going to leave out the house. Door slamming shut leaving the three brothers in silence.

2 months since the big fight with Joe. The two didn’t talk at all. Josh’s been busy, trying to focus on wrestling, it not going so well. He’s been lacking, he knew it and the world noticed too. He’s been trying to get in contact with Faith sending her messages, emails, calls from different numbers, but she hasn’t responded to a single one.

Josh pulled into a 90s themed diner, one that he and Faith used to go to all the time, when they were together. Getting out the car, he walked towards the diner before stopping In his tracks. The sight in front of him breaking his heart. Watching through the window he saw Faith and Joe laughing flush against eachother in a booth, feeding each other, small kisses between each bite, happy smiles planted on their faces.

His eyes burned with tears seeing them together. feeling betrayed and hurt. He watched Faith get up from the booth placing a loving, kiss on Joe’s lips, as she turned around to walk away, he didn’t miss how he slapped her ass making her giggle.

Body on fire, shaking with anger, he took long strides, going inside the restaurant. He stopped towards his big cousin, who was drinking his coffee, legs spread apart one arm across the booth seat. A smirk planted on his face seeing his upset lil cousin. "Sup cuzzo"

"What the fuck are you doing with her here, why are you kissing, hugged up, dammit everything!"

Unfazed Joe took another sip before. "We’re together" he spoke casually.

"How could you do this to me? You know I still wanted her? Wait You the fucking guy who got her all those pink flowers?"

"Correct"

"You went after her three months me and her separated?" Josh slammed his hand on the table, causing it to shake.

"Actually. I went after her 2 days after y’all called it a quits"

"Ima kill yo ass." Josh said lowly gritting his teeth. His eyes drifting off to his cousins left hand, a Black band resting around, on his ring finger. The same one he wore around his, a time ago.

Joe smiled, looking into his cousins eyes. "Do it." Sending him another smile, his eyes landing behind Josh, a wider and genuine smile taking over his face.

"Babeee, my feet hurt I think I need a massag-" Josh felt his heart stop hearing that sweet, angelic voice again. 13 months it’s been, since he’s heard it.

Faiths voice faltered seeing her ex. "Oh, hi" she spoke awkwardly, her eyes darting between the two cousins. "Faith" he let out a loss of words seeing her in-front of him.

His eyes drifted downwards, landing on her stomach that was slightly swollen, her hand protectively over it, a big diamond, decorating it. Josh felt sick, like he was going to pass out. Not only was his big cousin, dating her. They were engaged and are having a baby together."

"No" he whispered. Joe quickly stood up, already knowing Josh was going to cause a scene. "Baby go to the car I’ll be right there" passing Faith the keys, he gently guided her to the exit.

"But-"

"Sweetheart. Please."

Her eyes went to Josh who looked like was going crazy as he mumbled to himself. "Okay, please be quick" nodding his head, placing a kiss on her lips, mumbling a quick "I love you" against them, before she left the building.

"You got her pregnant man" Josh pushed Joe’s chest, hyperventilating.

"Hey, hey! Look at me." Gripping the back of his neck her put his forehead against his. "You never deserved her, ever. You took her for granted, this would have never happened if you did your part as a man and Treated her right. You can’t be upset with me, and you Damn sure can’t be mad at her. You did this" Joe spoke harshly, before pushing Josh back, his ass landing on the booth chair.

"I love you little cousin, but I love her more. Me and Faith are going to have our little boys in 3 months so please, for the love of god. Let us be happy, let her be happy. That’s the least you could do" pulling 3 hundred dollar bills, he placed it on the table as a tip, before, leaving.

Josh put his head down on the table, a cry leaving his body.

"Sweetheart, I thought I told you to go into the car" Joe said walking towards Faith who stood outside the entrance of the diner. "I know, I know. I was just worried about you" he took her hand placing a kiss on the back of it.

"Don’t worry about me, you know I can beat anyones ass" his playful tone, making her laugh. Reaching the car he opened the passenger door , helping her get in. Rubbing her stomach, he bent down placing a kiss on it, doing the same to her lips, before rounding the car to get in the driver seat.

Inside the diner, Josh watched with a heavy heart. Seeing Joe and faith together, sharing looks of love just like they used to. Tears fell down his face as he saw their car drive away, leaving him feeling broken and alone. A big reminder of what he had lost.

Author note: Well damn.

🏷 @charmed-dreamssss @usoinked @mselenalovebug @theusotwinzcom @bloodlineslut @trippinsorrows @catxo @whowrotethenote @uceyliyahh @adoreesun @christinabae @mjonthetrack

[scarletemeterio]

hii, saw u wanted arcane requests. from what ive seen on tiktok, apparently jinx was able to escape after the explosion in the very last episode and survived and ran away on that blimp thing, so could u please write a jinx x fem reader where after the explosion, jinx comes to get reader and they run away together happily to another region to have a fresh start and have a quiet, peaceful life. 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼 pls and thank you.

A Fresh Start (Jinx x Gn!reader)

Warnings: mentions of death, use of (Y/N) once

Genre: angst, hurt/comfort

Fandom: Arcane

Summary: see request

Word Count: 1.6k

No set pronouns for reader

•••

You still remembered every detail, every word said, replaying the moment in your head. You'd had a fight with Jinx, nothing serious you'd thought, but when she and Ekko found you, you could see the pain in her eyes. She came running to you, wrapping her arms around your neck.

“I'm sorry, I didn't mean all those things I said,” she apologized, her voice breaking. “You've always been there for me, and I've been ungrateful about that.”

You hugged her tightly, with your arms surrounding her waist, hiding your face in her shoulder.

“It's okay, it doesn't matter now,” you mumbled. “Are you okay?” You asked, breaking apart and caressing her face.

She simply nodded, but you could read her like an open book, and you knew that there was something she wasn't telling you.

Before you could keep questioning her, Ekko decided to speak.

“I hate to interrupt the sweet moment and everything, but we have to hurry if we wanna survive,” he said. You gave him a confused look, slowly breaking your embrace with Jinx.

“Yeah, the world is basically about to end,” the girl said. And both she and the boy tried their best to give you all the information you needed, trying to come up with a plan.

When you were almost finished with the globe, Jinx pulled you apart for a moment, wanting to talk to you.

“I really am sorry about before," she started saying, “I just couldn't think straight at the moment and I took it out on you.”

“Hey, I said it was okay and I meant it,” you comforted her, grabbing her hand.

“I just don't want us to be on bad terms, we don't know what could happen out there,” she whispered, trying to hold back her tears.

“We're not on bad terms, okay? Don't worry about that, my love,” you answered, not wanting to think about the worst case scenario.

“Thank you for not giving up on me, (Y/N), I'm so lucky to have met you. You mean the world to me, and I love you so much.” Tears were already falling down her cheeks, making it hard to contain yours too.

“I love you, too, baby.” You pressed your foreheads together, closing your eyes to better savour the moment. “Don't worry, we're gonna be okay,” you tried to reassure her. “I'm not saying today will be easy, but we'll make it, and soon this will all be just a dark moment from the past.”

She wrapped her arms around your neck once again, not being able to control her sobs anymore. You were taken aback from the sudden action and her reaction. Her embrace was tight and almost filled with dread, almost as if she was certain something bad would happen. You decided to get those thoughts out of your head. Danger was knocking at the door, and you couldn't ignore it anymore; the moment to fight had come.

When you got to the fight scene, Vi quickly joined you, and so did Vander. Ekko took control of the globe, making it crash into the building, knocking the air out of your lungs. When you finally got back on your feet, you quickly went to help Vi and Jinx against Vander, but a hard blow at you was the last thing you remembered before losing consciousness.

You had no idea how long you were out of it. Ekko's figure was the first thing you saw when you woke up, and he helped you sit down slowly.

“Hey, easy there,” he said. “You got hit pretty badly.”

“I'm fine,” you groaned. “Where’s Jinx?” He ignored your eyes, tilting his head. “Ekko?”

He only had to look at you, and you could instantly feel the world crumble around you. Tears quickly flooded your eyes, still looking at the boy in front of you.

“Tell me it's not what I'm thinking,” you pleaded.

“She sacrificed herself to save Vi.”

You closed your eyes, letting the tears roll down your cheeks. You wanted it to be some sick joke, for her to get into the room and tell you that it wasn't true, that she was fine and you didn't have to worry about anything. But you knew her, and you knew something felt off about her in that last conversation you had. Turns out something bad did end up happening.

•••

Not many days had passed, the pain still fresh. You were lost in your thoughts, staring at the city in front of you. You were in the spot Ekko had shown you not long ago, trying to find a bit of peace in contrast to the mess in your head.

Life in Zaun was very unpredictable, which made it difficult to make long-term plans, but also made it easy to not get attached to anything nor anyone. But Jinx was the exception. You just couldn’t stop yourself from getting attached to her, and now you were suffering the consequences.

To be honest you wouldn’t really change anything, not even the pain you were feeling right now. Changing things would mean not even getting to know her, and you were grateful to have met her, to share your life with her. You were simply paying life’s price for love.

You suddenly felt a presence behind you, but you kept your gaze to the front.

“I'd really like to be alone, Ekko,” you said, assuming that the boy had come to check on you.

“I'm not Ekko.”

You froze in place. You had to be hallucinating, it had to be the only explanation. She was gone, and nothing would change that. You shook your head in disbelief, looking up at the sky.

“I'm even hearing her voice now,” you said. You could feel that presence even closer now, and you quickly grew frustrated with what you thought was your own mind. “Leave me alone!” You screamed, turning to the presence behind you and freezing once again when you finally saw her.

“Hey, it's me,” she whispered.

You quickly got up, never breaking eye contact.

“But- You- How?” It was all you could say, barely whispering, still not truly believing what you were seeing. She was right there.

“I guess being injected with crazy amounts of shimmer to keep me from dying had its perks,” she explained almost jokingly, trying to lighten up the mood. “I managed to escape the explosion.”

“But I don't understand. Why didn't you come back right away? Why let us believe you were dead?” You had a million questions in your head, and you could feel your heart beating like crazy.

“I needed everyone to believe it, to have a fresh start. Vi would never give up on me if she knew I was still alive; she'd follow me to the end of the world.”

You still kept your distance from her, it all seemed unreal. A few minutes ago you were grieving her, and now she was right in front of you, as beautiful as ever. But you felt anger inside you as well. She could've told you, she could've saved you from that horrible pain of thinking she was actually gone for good.

“You knew you were gonna fake it all along, didn't you?” You realized, thinking about that last conversation you two had. “That's why you were so emotional, so shaken and distressed.”

“Baby, I-.”

“You knew, right?” You interrupted her, voice cracking with your words.

“I did.”

You closed your eyes. You didn't really know when you'd started crying, but the tears kept falling down your face.

“You let me believe you were dead, Jinx! Dead!” You didn't even try to hide how emotionally distressed you were. You needed to let everything out. The blue-haired girl broke the distance between you two, holding you in her arms while you sobbed into her chest, quickly collapsing to the ground.

“I'm so sorry, baby. I made a mistake and I should've told you,” she said while running her hand through your hair. You could tell by her voice that she was also crying, filled with guilt. “I'm sorry, please forgive me.”

“I get why you did it,” you told her after a while. “I don't blame you for wanting peace, but you have no idea how much it hurt me to think that I'd lost you.”

She cupped your face and made eye contact with you before pressing your foreheads together. “I'm sorry,” she repeated, feeling like she could never say it enough times to express just how much she regretted not letting you know before.

“I'm just glad you're actually okay, love.” You leaned in to her touch, savouring the moment after such turmoil.

She gave you a kiss on your forehead before speaking.

“I want you to come with me,” she uttered.

“Come where?” You questioned.

“I don't know, away from here,” she replied. “I really want that fresh start, but I know that trying to live without you would be absolute hell. I've had many uncertainties in my life, but you just feel right. If there's something I'm sure of is that I love you, with every part of me.”

“I love you, too,” you told her. “And I'd also follow you to the end of the world.” You let out a hopeful smile, and so did she before cupping your face to kiss you.

Her lips against yours felt absolutely right, like it was just the way it had to be, forever and ever. You belonged together, and there was nothing you wanted more than to build a future with her, away from all the ghosts from the past. You knew it wouldn't be easy, both of you had a lot to let go of but with her by your side everything felt a bit easier, and for the first time in a long time, you felt hopeful.

•••

i absolutely loved this request, thank you anon! i'm a sucker for angst

also i'm 100% sure she's still alive

[syluslnd]

hello! ive been enjoying lots of ur fics >< can i request maybe sylus finding out in the middle of sexy times that the reader is a little ummm masochistic 🫢

when you tell sylus you want a little pain during sex

The atmosphere in the room was hazy,soft shadows dancing along the walls as you found yourself lost in the sensation of Sylus's hands on your skin.

His touch was both familiar and electrifying and every kiss he pressed against your neck sent waves of pleasure through your body. The tension between you had built slowly throughout the evening but now, as he pinned you beneath him, your breath came out in shallow gasps, anticipation tightening in your chest.

Sylus's lips hovered just above yours, his dark eyes watching you closely. "You're so quiet tonight, kitten. Something on your mind?" His voice was a low murmur, teasing yet filled with that commanding tone you knew so well. His hand slid down your side, his fingers tracing the curve of your waist, making you squirm beneath him.

You bit your lip, feeling the heat rise to your face. There was something you'd been keeping to yourself, something that bubbled up whenever you were with him like this. But admitting it... that felt dangerous, even though you knew Sylus would never judge you.

His hand gripped your thigh, a firm but controlled pressure and you could barely contain the shiver that ran through you. The words fought to escape your lips, the confession you'd been holding back all this time. You closed your eyes, feeling your pulse race faster than the beat of your heart.

"I... I need to tell you something" you whispered, voice trembling slightly.

Sylus paused, his gaze narrowing slightly but there was a curious glint in his eyes.

"Hmm?" He leaned closer, his breath warm against your ear. "What is it, sweetie? You know you can tell me anything."

You swallowed hard, your fingers gripping the sheets beneath you as you tried to summon the courage to speak. "!... um..." You felt your cheeks burn, your body reacting to both the vulnerability and the arousal building inside you. "I think... I like it when it hurts a little."

There. You said it. The confession hung in the air between you, your heart hammering against your ribs as you waited for his response.

Sylus didn't move for a moment, his eyes locking onto yours, the smirk tugging at the corners of his lips slowly spreading wider.

"Oh?" His voice was low, dangerously soft.

"You like a little pain, kitten?" He leaned down, his mouth brushing against your ear as he whispered "I didn't realize you were such a masochist."

Your stomach twisted in nervous excitement as his words sank in. You nodded, feeling your breath quicken. "Yeah... just a little. I didn't know how to tell you before."

He chuckled softly, pulling back just enough to meet your eyes again. "You're full of surprises tonight." His hand trailed down your thigh, only this time, his grip tightened

-just enough to make you gasp softly, your body responding instinctively to the mix of pleasure and pain.

Sylus's eyes darkened with something deeper, a mixture of desire and control. "You should've told me sooner, kitten” he said, his voice taking on that possessive edge that always made your pulse race. "You think I wouldn't enjoy that?"

Before you could answer, he brought his lips to your neck, biting down gently at first, then harder, his teeth sinking in just enough to make you wince. The sensation shot through you, a sharp thrill mixing with the pleasure, and you couldn't hold back the soft moan that escaped your lips.

"Mmm, there it is” Sylus murmured against your skin, clearly pleased with your reaction.

"You like that, don't you?"

You nodded quickly, your hands clutching his arms, anchoring yourself as your body hummed with a new kind of intensity. "Yeah... i-I like it" you admitted, feeling your voice tremble with both excitement and nerves.

Sylus's smirk deepened as he pulled back slightly, watching you with a predatory gleam in his eyes. His hand slid up your body, his fingers curling around your throat-not hard enough to hurt but enough to remind you that he was in control. He leaned down, his lips brushing against yours as he whispered,

"Then I'll make sure you feel every bit of it."

His grip on your throat tightened ever so slightly, making your breath catch in your throat, your body arching up toward him. He knew exactly how to toe the line between pleasure and pain, pushing just enough to make your body crave more.

As he kissed you, his hand moved again, delivering a sharp, deliberate slap to your thigh. The sting sent a jolt of heat straight through you, your gasp muffled against his mouth. Sylus pulled back just enough to see your reaction, his eyes dark and filled with amusement. "That's it, sweetie. Don't hold back."

Your heart raced as the intensity between you grew, his touch now rougher, more deliberate. Every slap, every bite, was calculated, designed to push you further into that heady mix of pain and pleasure and through it all, he watched you, his expression unreadable but his every move purposeful.

"Tell me what you want, kitten" Sylus growled, his hand delivering another sharp smack, this time against your ass, the pain leaving a warm, pulsing sensation behind.

"Tell me how much you like it."

You whimpered, your body shaking with the force of the sensations coursing through you. "I... I love it" you managed to breathe out, your voice breaking. "I love it, Sylus..."

He grinned, clearly satisfied with your confession, his mouth descending on yours in a rough, heated kiss. "Good" he murmured against your lips, his hands gripping your body possessively. "Because I'm just getting started."

[joelmillermylove]

Where we belong Pt.1

Joel Miller x f!reader

Summary: Your older best friend Joel Miller finally confesses his love for you. Warning: just a bunch of fluff, age gap. Word count: 849. A/N: Hi babes! This is my first fanfic so go easy on me, Iv been working on this for weeks so I hope you like it and sorry in advance for any miss spellings and for the shortness! Much love 🤍

Part two →

It’s late at night in your living room. The only light comes from the flickering TV screen as an old, familiar movie plays. Joel in his late 40s and you in your mid 20s, you’ve been best friends for a few years now. You and Joel are sitting close on the couch, surrounded by the warmth and comfort of years of friendship. The remnants of popcorn and empty glasses are scattered on the coffee table. The room is quiet except for the movie’s dialogue, but there’s a palpable tension building between you.

As the movie plays, you feel Joel shift beside you. His arm, which had been resting casually along the back of the couch, slowly lowers until it’s draped around your shoulders. It’s a small, almost unconscious movement, but it makes your heart race. You can smell his Cologne, notes of citrus, leather and woodsy musk; it’s intoxicating. You lean into him, your head finding a comfortable spot against his chest. The steady rhythm of his heartbeat is soothing, but it also makes you more aware of how close you are to him.

Neither of you says anything for a while, both pretending to focus on the movie, but your thoughts are elsewhere—on the warmth of his body, the way his hand gently rubs your arm, and the unspoken connection that’s always been there. The movie reaches a particularly tender scene, you feel Joel’s hand still on your arm. You look up at him, and he’s already gazing down at you, his expression soft but serious.

“Joel?” you whisper, your voice barely audible.

He doesn’t answer right away. Instead, he lifts his other hand, hesitantly brushing a strand of hair away from your face. The touch is gentle, almost reverent, and it sends a shiver down your spine. “I’ve been thinking,” he says quietly, his voice deep and rough, yet filled with something you can’t quite place. “About us.”

You blink, caught off guard by the sudden shift in his tone. “What do you mean?”

Joel takes a deep breath, as if gathering his courage. “We’ve known each other for so long. You’re… you’re my best friend. But lately, I’ve been feeling things I can’t ignore anymore. Things I’ve tried to push aside because I didn’t want to mess up what we have.”

Your heart pounds as he pauses, his eyes searching yours for any sign of what you might be feeling. “The truth is… I’ve always cared about you, more than just as a friend. And I’ve tried to keep it to myself, but it’s gettin’ harder and harder, especially when we’re like this.”

His hand cups your cheek, his thumb brushing your skin in a way that makes your breath catch. “I love you,” he finally says, his voice barely above a whisper. “I’ve been in love with you for a long time, and I just… I needed you to know.” The world seems to stop as his words sink in. He’s watching you closely, as if bracing himself for your reaction, his own emotions laid bare.

For a moment, all you can do is stare at him, his words echoing in your mind. You see the vulnerability in his eyes, a side of Joel he doesn’t often show. Your heart swells, and suddenly everything makes sense—the lingering touches, the way he always looked out for you, the moments when it felt like there was something more between you, You were in love with him.

“I… I love you too, Joel,” you finally say, your voice trembling with the weight of your own emotions. “I didn’t want to admit it because I was scared of losing you, of ruining what we have. But I’ve been in love with you for so long.”

Relief floods Joel’s face as he exhales, like he’s been holding his breath this entire time. “You don’t know how much I’ve wanted to hear that,” he murmurs, his thumb tracing your cheek.

Before you can say anything more, Joel leans in, hesitating for just a fraction of a second as if giving you the chance to pull away. But you don’t. You close the distance between you, your lips meeting his in a soft, tentative kiss. It’s gentle at first, both of you savoring the moment, the feeling of finally crossing that line you’ve danced around for so long.

The kiss deepens as Joel pulls you closer, his hand sliding from your cheek to the back of your neck, holding you as if he’s afraid to let go. There’s a sense of rightness, of everything falling into place, and you realize that this is where you were always meant to be—with him.

When you finally pull back, both of you are breathless, but there’s a new lightness in the air, the unspoken tension finally gone. Joel rests his forehead against yours, his breath warm against your lips. “I don’t ever want to lose you,” he says softly.

“You won’t,” you promise, smiling through the tears that have started to form. “We’ll figure this out, together.”

Joel nods, his hand still gently holding the back of your neck. “Together,” he agrees, sealing the promise with another kiss, one filled with all the love and devotion you’ve both kept hidden for so long.

As the night goes on, the movie forgotten, you and Joel stay wrapped up in each other, talking about everything and nothing, exploring this new dynamic between you. It feels natural, like the most obvious next step in your relationship, and you know that no matter what challenges lie ahead, you’ll face them side by side.

[slvt4felix]

I Could Never Hate You (Part IV)

Pairing -> ninthmember!reader x Lee Minho WC -> ~4,000 words Includes -> hurt/comfort, pretty heavy angst, anxiety and anxiety attack, some panicking, friendship issues (but finally some communication!!!!) Summary -> Your anxiety has been getting worse all day. Typically, Hyunjin would be the first person you would go to, but unfortunately, the two of you are not on great terms. What are you supposed to do when your best friend is avoiding you at all costs? Author's Note -> Yayy!! I have finally finished this fic. It was originally only supposed to be one part, but I'm so happy with the story it has turned into. I'm sorry it took so long, college has been kicking my ass. But thank you guys for all the support! Let me know what you think :)

♡ Masterlist // Previous ♡

Walking off stage, you fear that air will never come. It's been building up for hours at this point, and it's not a huge surprise that the peak of your anxiety has finally hit. Despite it being your biggest dream since you were a child, the concerts have never been as great as you’d hoped they would be. You loved getting to see the fans and mess around on stage with the rest of the members, but you were never quite able to shake the stage fright or the uncomfortable feeling brought on by thousands of eyes watching you. The concerts did slowly get better. They have felt more natural and exciting for you lately, but it seems as if you've taken a step back today. Or maybe it would be better classified as a trip or a fall. You aren’t quite sure why the concerts haven’t made you as nervous as they used to when you first debuted. Perhaps you were desensitized to all the screams and fans’ stares, or maybe it was the fact that Hyunjin was always by your side to reassure you. But now what? After everything that happened, Hyunjin doesn’t seem exactly eager to help you through it.

You were very worried to go on the stage, as things were already not going well today. You were hopeful when you first woke up, surrounded by warmth and comfort in Minho's arms. It felt as if anything was possible, and you were eager to fix up all the problems that had been created over the past few days. But it wasn’t as easy as it sounds. The day has gone downhill from the moment you crawled out of bed. Now it's finally the end of the day, all that's left to do is change and leave the venue, but it seems like even that task is going to be quite difficult.

You were the first to rush off stage as soon as everyone started to say their goodbyes. You managed a wave and a quick goodbye before you left, too distracted by your emotions to even tell if the boys were far behind. You hoped the fans wouldn't notice anything out of the blue, but you had made it fairly well throughout the concert, and the boys had some of their best acting faces on. So hopefully the fans would spare you this one moment. You knew you didn't have long before you would break, and you hate crying in front of the fans. Even if you could simply play it off as being overwhelmed with gratitude for them, it didn't feel right. So you left, as quickly as you could.

Your anxiety was building all throughout the day, and the consequences had exploded while on stage. All you needed to do was dance and sing your little heart out, but instead, all you could feel was your heart racing and the weight of the microphone clenched tightly in your sweaty hands. Over time, it just got worse and worse, and your chest got tighter and tighter. The sweating was definitely not only from the dancing. You couldn’t give your best to the fans like you normally do, and even that’s enough to send your anxiety through the roof. What if they notice? What will they think?

Entering the backrooms behind the stage is humbling as you notice multiple staff members watching you. You take a shaky breath still trying to calm down enough to make it somewhere more private. Your first instinct is to head straight to the bathroom, but your subconscious stops you as you remember what Hyunjin always used to tell you. It used to be a habit of yours to go to the bathroom and lock the door when you started to panic, wanting to handle it all by yourself. But once Hyunjin started helping you through your anxiety, he always told you not to, so that he or the other members were able to reach you more easily. Not to mention, being on the outside of a locked door when the person inside is upset is not usually a good situation to be in. Which is understandable, but it’s hard to think clearly when you can barely breathe.

You push through the hesitation, heading to the bathroom anyway. You know Hyunjin is a good person and would definitely comfort you if you asked him, even when he’s angry. However, you had no plans to actually approach him about that, and it’s doubtful that he would even notice your suffering in the first place if his avoidance while on stage is anything to go by. So, the bathroom it is.

Hyunjin has reassured you many times that you aren’t a burden to him, so it wasn’t hard to reach out to him over the years when you needed help. But that also means that you didn’t let many of the other members see this side of you. So what now? Now that your only support system has been torn apart by some silly fight you don’t even fully understand.

With every step, you rush forward faster and faster, hoping to get alone before the tears in your eyes fully cloud your vision. Just a few more steps until the solitude of the bathroom is all yours.

Well, it was until you feel a sweaty hand grip your wrist lightly. You turn to yell at the owner of the hand, but your awareness fades as tears start to fall, and the lump that had settled in your throat has officially stolen all talking ability. With the possibility of escape being torn from your grasp, you can no longer fight the emotions bubbling up.

You feel the person tuck you under their arm and lead you somewhere else. You realize it’s Hyunjin as the remaining scent of his cologne that hadn’t been sweated off hits your nose. It’s comforting, bringing you back to many of your favorite memories and all the times he has been there in the past. Your brain tries to fight the situation, wanting to resist and pull away from him, but it’s either this or in a smelly bathroom all by yourself. As much as you hate to say it, Hyunjin may just be the right choice in this scenario. He leads you into a room and sits you down on a soft cushion. This room is much quieter, and all of the sounds, smells, and movement that had been overwhelming you are gone. It’s a relief to your senses, but you barely register the change, too overwhelmed with your lack of oxygen.

“You’re okay, you’re safe,” Hyunjin whispers to you in a soft manner as he kneels on the ground in front of you, “everything’s gonna be okay, y/n-ah.” Your eyes are squeezed shut, and you focus purely on Hyunjin’s voice, trying to take back control over your emotions. He used to do a lot more for you, but over time, you’ve learned how to handle them better on your own. So now, his presence is more there for reassurance and grounding while you try to regain your breath and work through your emotions. In this industry, you aren’t always able to leave a room or steal a friend away for help; sometimes you have to get through it yourself.

In the quiet of the room, a cautious knock rings out from the door of the dressing room Hyunjin had brought you to. While the noise goes completely over your head, Hyunjin was prepared for it to come eventually. He sighs as Minho peeks his head inside the door, just as he expected. Due to your newly formed relationship, it wasn’t surprising that he had come to check up on you. Lately, you two were completely up each other’s butts.

It’s just the honeymoon stage, he tries to remind himself.

“Come on in,” Hyunjin whispers gently and motions for Minho to enter. As much as Hyunjin had been shipping the two of you, he hadn’t expected anything to actually happen. It was more of a joke to get a reaction out of you and Minho. However, he soon realized his mistake when your complaints increased tenfold and the rest of the band started pushing harder. It was only a matter of time until one of you came to your senses and realized the feelings you had hidden deep down. He wanted to be happy about it, he really did, but when it actually came down to it, he was too scared to lose you. You’re not only his bandmate, but also his best friend. Someone he would do anything for; someone who has been with him through everything and hopefully will continue to be for the rest of your life. And that right there is exactly what he is afraid to lose.

What if Minho doesn’t want you two to be friends anymore?

What if you don’t have enough time for him?

What if you don’t need him anymore?

It may seem irrational to some people, but oftentimes fear isn’t something you can reason with, and there is nothing you can do about it. There were so many worst-case scenarios running through his head that he had simply blown up. If you had asked him two weeks ago, he would’ve said that he would never ever speak to you in that way. But it happened. You had rushed in, and immediately, all you had to talk about was Minho. Just like usual. And it scared him, so he lashed out.

Yeah, like that’ll solve the issue, he had thought to himself shortly after the encounter. He knew he was in the wrong. He never should have said any of that. He didn’t mean it, and he regretted it deeply. But what is there to do now? How can he fix it?

It seems as if talking it out is mostly off-limits. You’ve both been avoiding each other to the max, and it’s not often that you guys get a moment alone to talk. Not only would you need somewhere to talk, but you would also need to be receptive to what Hyunjin has to say. And that seems very unlikely. If talking it out isn’t an option, what else can he do to fix it? He can’t just sit around anymore; this problem is certainly not going to solve itself. Maybe he could start with his actions and show you just how much he cares. Then you can realize that he is starting to come around to the whole new relationship, and it seems that now is the perfect chance to start mending the relationship.

Minho walks in and settles nervously next to you on the small couch. He raises his hands, but doesn’t touch you, unsure of how exactly to act in this situation. What is his role? Hyunjin sees his hesitation and gently removes one of his hands that was holding yours. Minho gets the idea and takes your clammy palm in his, gently caressing the top of your hand with his thumb.

You focus on the new sensation, and your shoulders sag a little bit as you become a little more aware of what’s going on. Your sobs gradually start to calm down a little as you sit in the quiet room.

“Hey, y/n, can you open your eyes for me?” Hyunjin directs, hoping to make you more aware of your surroundings and help you to focus on what’s around you, as sometimes that can help calm you down.

You follow Hyunjin’s instructions, knowing it’s for the better. It takes a second for your eyes to adjust, but when they do, you’re met with the sight of Hyunjin kneeling in front of you with one of your hands in his. His eyes are full of concern and kindness, and his familiar gaze is nearly enough to calm you right back down. You feel the couch shift slightly next to you and glance over to find Minho sitting beside you. The sight is less familiar, yet it fills your heart with gratefulness and love. No matter what happens, you know that you have your people behind you.

“Hey there, kitten,” he says softly. You can practically hear the nerves in his voice. As the second-oldest member in the group, he is often dealing with issues and dishing out advice, but it’s obvious that this is outside his usual pay grade.

I guess I get special treatment as his girlfriend, you think with a small huff. It’s so hard to be upset around Minho. Well, at least nowadays, previously, he was the cause of your tears. But things have changed… drastically, it appears.

“Are you laughing?” Minho comments in disbelief, a smile growing on his face.

“Just a little, I can’t help it!” You defend against his comment, “You just look so uncomfortable.”

“Hey, give him a break, he’s new to this whole emotions thing,” Hyunjin adds with a teasing grin on his face, relieved that you are feeling better so fast. He knows this isn’t the end. You’ll get through the attacks, but your anxiety doesn’t just go away, especially on bad days. But that doesn’t define you, nor would you let it take away from the good moments.

Minho sends him a glare, and Hyunjin takes that as his sign to leave. It never ends well when you start to tease Minho. It very quickly turns to tissues and threats. A situation he would not like to be in more than once in two days.

Hyunjin gives your hand one final squeeze and stands with an exaggerated groan. “Well, I’ll leave you two lovebirds alone,” he says with a playful look of disgust on his face.

Your eyes follow Hyunjin as he makes his exit, confusion starting to cloud your mind as you begin to fully realize the situation.

You turn to Minho quickly, hoping to find answers, “Do you think that means we’re friends again?” Minho’s eyes soften at your words. He knows just how bad this fight has been hurting you, and he wishes with everything in him that he could take your pain away. However, that just wasn’t possible. All you want is your best friend back, and that is something he simply cannot fix.

“I think those are questions you’re gonna have to ask him, sweetheart,” he replies gently, reaching out to wipe the remaining tears from your face. You lean into his side, as your stomach flutters with butterflies. It's a refreshing reminder that even if you're struggling or the day starts going downhill, you always have your people behind you; you’re glad to find that Hyunjin is still one of them.

"Let's go back to the hotel, yeah?" Minho proposes, "I think we've been through enough today." You nod your head sluggishly, agreeing immensely with what he's suggested. All the crying has tired you out, and all you can think of is crawling into a warm bed, right into your boyfriend's arms.

︵‿୨♡୧‿︵

You pad softly down the hotel hallway as the morning sun starts to flood through the window. After the rough night you had, you passed out right after you took a shower. Surprisingly, you actually had a very good night of sleep. Despite the redness from the tears you had shed, your eyes had slipped open quite easily this morning. Maybe the reassurance that Hyunjin still cared was enough to ease you into an actual night of rest.

Somehow, you still haven’t gotten the opportunity to properly talk with him, and it may be something he actually deserves this time. It was kind of him to help you, despite the tension and fighting still present in your relationship. After a quick glance at Minho, you had left the room, hoping to clear the air and make your way to Hyunjin and Felix’s hotel room. You knew it was unlikely for Hyunjin to be awake at this time, the sun just barely risen, but maybe Felix was awake. Then, you could wait for Hyunjin to wake up and catch him before everyone has to head to the venue to start preparing for the concert.

You stop in front of the heavy, wooden door and let out a sigh. This is it. You were going to end this fight once and for all. You just want your best friend back.

Upon knocking, you’re met with a sight you had never expected. Instead of Felix, you’re met with the endearing sight of your best friend. Hyunjin stands there in his pajamas, looking at you with wide eyes. His arms and fingers are covered in what appears to be charcoal, and there’s even a bit smudged on his face.

You let out a small giggle at the sight, intrigued as to what he was up to. His eyes light up at your laugh, “Y/n, what are you doing here? Why are you awake right now?”

“All I can think about is our argument,” you state, not quite answering his question. You push past him, entering his hotel room. Immediately, you notice Felix, lying in one of the beds, scrolling on his phone. He glances up, making eye contact with you, and a smile spreads on his face.

“Finally! It’s about time you guys made up. He won’t stop sulking,” he exclaims as he starts to pull himself out of bed. “Hopefully, you breaking into our room will go a bit better this time, yeah?”

You roll your eyes playfully, remembering the vicious scene from a couple of days prior. Felix walks past you and makes his exit, obviously giving the two of you time to talk things out. When Felix leaves, Hyunjin makes his way further back in the room and takes a seat at the desk next to you. This draws your attention, and you notice the set of supplies strewn across the desk. There are pens, chalks, and charcoals surrounding a sketchbook left open. It’s a sketch of flowers, unsurprising as it’s one of Hyunjin’s most common choices for art. However, this one is even darker than some of his others. You know his art can sometimes feel a bit heavy, but the flowers in this one even appear to be wilted.

Oh, Hyunjin. You think as your heart aches a bit. It’s obvious he’s a bit upset about something, and you think you might just know what the problem is.

“What are you doing up, sleepyhead?” You ask him, deciding to start simple. “Don’t you usually prefer to sleep in?”

“Yeah, but I couldn’t really sleep that well,” he states with a sigh. It’s then that you notice the same redness in his eyes that resides in yours. He must have been upset after he left.

“I see. I like your drawing,” you comment, and Hyunjin immediately flushes.

“Thank you,” he says quietly before turning in his chair and carefully shutting the sketchbook. You hadn’t meant for him to hide it away, but it seems that you were never meant to see it in the first place. You don’t stop him or ask to see more, wanting to keep his art a comfort for him. Instead, you decide to bite the bullet. Small talk would never solve anything. Deep communication was the key, and both of you knew that.

“Why’d you do that?” You ask, your eyes slowly starting to water as the memories come back. “Why would you say those things to me?” At the blunt question, Hyunjin startles a bit, turning back to you. You can tell as he begins to debate what exactly to say in his head, trying to figure out the best way to articulate his thoughts.

“I was afraid to lose you,” he decides to go with. The simple phrase makes you freeze. You weren’t sure what you had expected, but it certainly wasn’t this. He was afraid? What the hell was he talking about with losing you?

“Hyunjin, why would you lose me? I’m right here,” you say gently, trying to reassure the man despite not knowing exactly what the situation was.

“All you would talk about is Minho. Sure, it wasn’t exactly loving words, but still. It was always about you and him. I just miss when it was you and me. I know he’s important to you, but you’re my best friend, y/n-ah. I have no idea what I would even do without you. Who would I laugh with? Who would I confide in? You’re everything to me, and I just sort of freaked out when it seemed like I might lose you for good. But I just pushed you away even more. I’m so sorry.” He rushes out, his voice starting a bit raised and eventually lowering to a near whisper. Despite his ramblings, his explanation does make a lot of sense. You know Hyunjin, and you know he certainly does not believe the things he said about you. Which definitely doesn’t make it acceptable, but at least you know that it was a defense mechanism rather than genuine hatred.

“Oh. I thought you were really upset with me. I couldn’t figure out why you would say those things to me,” you tell him, knowing that it’s important for him to hear how you were feeling, too.

“I know, and I regretted it the moment those words left my mouth. I would do anything to take it back. I promise I support you and Minho. I think I’m finally coming around to the idea. I was just nervous that he wouldn’t want us to be friends anymore.”

“Hyunjin, he has known both of us for such a long time. He would never ask us to do that. He knows how much you mean to me.”

“I know, but I guess I just panicked.”

You sigh at his words. You totally understand how he feels. There have been so many moments where you have accidentally said something you shouldn’t have or behaved rudely as a result of panicking. You step closer to Hyunjin and pull him up to give you a hug. He wraps his arms around you as you rub his back lightly. You feel his tears slightly wet your shirt, but you don’t say anything about it, not wanting to ruin the tender moment.

“It’s okay, Jinnie, I forgive you.” At these words, he hugs you a bit tighter, glad that your friendship is finally okay again.

︵‿୨♡୧‿︵

After both of you had calmed down, the two of you began to reminisce on some of your guys’ best memories over the years. He had even brought up some of the most embarrassing stories of Minho, making you crack up. Gosh, you had missed him so much.

At the reminder of your boyfriend, you excuse yourself, but not before reminding Hyunjin to call Felix back to the room. You felt bad for making the poor man find somewhere else to hang out, but to be fair, you hadn’t asked him to leave. He was just too kind for his own good.

You return to your hotel room, only to find Minho still sleeping and very soundly at that. You smile adoringly at him before crawling back into bed with him.

“Did you guys figure everything out?” He asks drowsily, and you startle a bit at his voice. You were positive that he was still asleep, but he’s always been good at tricking you. You were impressed that he had even managed to figure out where you had gone.

“Yes, I got my best friend back,” you say with a small smile, genuinely relieved that you and Hyunjin had managed to get past this hurdle.

“I’m happy for you, honey,” Minho says sweetly before pulling you closer and placing a gentle kiss on your forehead. Falling back to sleep with your boyfriend, you realize that you have never been happier.

Taglist: @armystay89 @thisisnotjacinta @silentreadersthings @seungminsapuppy @linos-kitten @hafrenstay @redstayrosie @bear8585 @yongbokkiesworld  @everglowdaisies @0325tiny @linoalwaysknows @chuuyaobsessed @delulustardust @3rachasninja @sit-thou-now-and-think

[sapphicmsmarvel]

tattoo artist azriel

Notes: possibly pervert azriel but y/n’s a pervert too. Dirty lines. This wasn’t gonna be smut but it is now. Sub Azriel but also, he’s a power sub. This derailed so fast. I promise we will go back to the tattoo stuff eventually. Plus size reader. Lots of run on sentences. I can't write smut so I tried my best. 

funny enough this is probably one of the fics that’s nearest to my heart. 

Word count bc this is the longest thing ive ever written at a whopping 4k

Pls listen to motivate by little mix for this. 

-You met each other because your friend worked at a tattoo shop with him. 

-When you walked in the door and saw this man that looked like a greek god standing there you almost bolted in the opposite direction and was going to text your best friend to just meet you outside. 

-You knew about Azriel from your best friend. Kind but introverted. He didn’t talk much aside from jokey comments. But he was a man that your friend had deemed a safe one. You knew he was attractive based on photos, but the first moment you saw him in person, you didn’t expect him to still be so attractive. 

-Little did you know, he also knew about you. 

-He had seen a picture of you because on your friends desk there’s a collage of you and all of your guys’ friends. Anything that gives her motivation in such a touch and go industry. 

-It was a photo where you were laughing at something your friend had said. Mouth fully open, nose scrunched and eyes squinting. 

-He was enamoured with you. Something about you just put him into a trance. He didn’t want to sound like a stalker, because he sure felt like one. But he thought you were really pretty. 

-He got to meet you because you had come to pick your best friend up for lunch. She was finishing up with a client as you sat at the front of the building. 

“You can walk back there with her, you know.” Azriel leaned against the counter.

You shook your head, “nah, I’ll start yapping and oversharing with her client. She doesn’t need that.” 

He chuckled, “I’m Azriel.” 

“I’m Y/n.” You beamed and he felt his heart squeeze. 

-Your best friend interrupted you two ten minutes later to drag you to lunch. He couldn’t help the blush that formed on his face when you waved and smiled with your big pearly whites. 

-After a few months, he got the nerve to ask your best friend about you. He saw you about once a week now to pick your friend up for her lunch break. And every time he tried to work up the nerve to ask you out or ask your friend about you. You guys would chat every single time you saw each other, slowly getting to know each other more. 

-”Hey.” Azriel started. 

“Hey!” Your best friend chirped. “What’s up?” 

“Is Y/N single?” 

She had stopped sketching completely and looked up at him. “Are you serious?” 

“Yeah, I wouldn’t be asking this as a joke.” He blinked in surprise. 

“Azriel, she’s a serious type of girl. She’s not into hookups, and if you break her heart I have a slew of inappropriate things to tattoo on you.” 

His stomach sank, this wasn’t going well. “I’m serious. I really like her, she's funny and cute.” 

“She’s also queer. You need to be okay with that in order for me to let you date her.” She narrowed her eyes at Azriel, vetting him for you. “Oh, that doesn’t bug me. As long as she’s into men right?” He shrugged. 

“In her words, she unfortunately is.” He knew she was testing him. For homophobia, or if he was okay with men-bashing.

Considering he knew he wasn’t the problem, he was totally fine with men-bashing. 

“Lucky for me.” He said determinedly. 

That’s when your friend smiled, and began forming a plan. 

-Your friend through a summer solstice party. It was a bonfire in her backyard. You and Azriel had been briefly seeing each other all night. But at the end, you two were by the fire and began talking. 

-He looked up to your friend's house and saw her give him a big thumbs up. He appreciated the encouragement but he was wigging out. 

-He had brought you two s’mores and a blanket for the cool summer air. 

You two happily munched on the snack, then he decided to get it over with before he threw up into the fire pit. 

He looked over and saw you looked ethereal in the warm hues of orange and yellow as the fire crackled and popped. You had just licked a smudge of chocolate from your thumb. 

He took a deep breath, “Y/N, I have a question.” 

“Oh don’t say it like that. My stomach just fell into my ass.” You said exasperated. Fearing the worst. 

“It’s nothing bad, at least I hope you don't think it is.” He sighed, “will you go on a date with me?” 

“You don’t sound too happy to ask me out.” You laughed nervously. “No! No. I’m just so nervous. You’re really pretty and smart and funny. I've been interested for months.” He’s never been so candid towards someone he’s pursuing, but you are special and have the ability to strip him bare without even trying. 

You smiled, “I want to say yes…” 

“But?” He prompted. “It’s really scary for me to date.” You confessed, nervously biting your lip. “Tell me about it.” He shifted more towards you so he was facing you. “What can I do to make you more comfortable?” 

Your heart turned gooey like the melted chocolate you had just eaten. “It’s really me that’s the problem.” 

“I doubt that.” He said earnestly. 

You huffed a laugh out your nose. “I’ve been on two dates. They both sucked and just made me feel shitty. I don’t like feeling like that. And there’s so much pressure to look good and be this person I don’t know if I am.” You shrugged. “Like putting the best parts of myself and not my whole self.” 

“No offense, but only two? Honestly, you’re really attractive. I was expecting more competition.” He quickly realized how bad ‘only two’ sounded. He didn’t want to accidentally make it seem like he was calling you a ‘slut’. Even if you did sleep around, that didn’t stop him from being interested. 

You shrugged. “Nobody wants to date a queer fat girl because they're insecure.”

That sentence pissed him off on your behalf, however he loved that you knew they were insecure and that you deserved better. 

“I think you’re beautiful.” He said. 

You blushed, “thank you. And I know you mean that.” 

“I do.” He nodded, then he got an idea. “Do you feel shitty right now? Is this feeling like you’re performing?” “No?” You answered with your own question. 

“How about this for our first date?” 

You giggled, “we’ve barely seen each other tonight.” 

“This. Right here by the fire. This can be our first date.” He declared. “No pressure. No performing.” 

It was so cute and sweet, he’s so cute and sweet. 

You couldn’t help your answer. “I’d love that. Let’s schedule a second one?” 

He felt like his chest was about to collapse from happiness.  

-Your second date, he drove his motorcycle to pick you up. He had advised against dresses or skirts and to make sure to bring a jacket. 

You felt your heart race the second you saw this hot piece of ass on a motorcycle with a helmet for you.

-At stop lights he would reach an arm around to stroke your thigh. And while it was very forward, it gave you the courage to run your hands up and down his chest. Your nails lightly grazing his pecs. 

-He was glad the light turned green so he could think about something weird to get his boner to go away. 

-You two ended the night at a rooftop bar that your friend advised him on. You hadn’t been there but she knew you’d love it and you did. 

-The warm summer breeze but there was still a slight chill. The fairy lights, the city lights. The appetizers and drinks. Alcohol for you, non-alcoholic for him. 

-You felt peace with him. Like you aren’t being scrutinized or put on display. You felt more comfortable with him than you felt with most people. 

-And you had only known him for a few months. 

-You felt safe and protected. 

-Once he dropped you back at your place. You didn’t want the night to end which was rare for you. Usually, you couldn’t leave a date fast enough. 

“Can I kiss you?” He asked, he was blushing and nervous. 

“Please do.” You whispered. 

“Trust me, Y/N. You never have to beg when it comes to me.” He confessed before he pulled you to him. 

It was a kiss that made your knees weak. It was intense, it was butterfly inducing. You felt flames in your stomach caress up to your chest. Your chest swooped with adrenaline.  His hands moved from your waist to your cheeks, cupping them as he kissed you deeper. You had kissed others before, you had hookups, but they never made you wet from a simple kiss. 

But this wasn’t a simple kiss. You always thought romance books were incorrect but it was nice to have fantasy. No, this was straight out of fiction. 

You wanted to suck his soul out. You wanted to become so intertwined within each other you wouldn’t know where you ended and he began. 

“Come inside.” You said, pulling away from him, he continued to kiss your neck as you fumbled the keys. 

“This wasn’t my intention by kissing you.” He whispered in between kisses behind your ears. 

Ah ha! You finally got the key into the lock. “Yeah well you got me wet so you’re gonna fix it.” 

He was clearly caught off guard because he snorted a genuine laugh. “It would be my honor.” You finally opened the door. 

The second that door was shut and locked you dropped to your knees. “Y/N.” He hissed. “I was planning on eating you out.” 

“Okay and I’m going to suck your soul out.” You fumbled the zipper.

“Y/N-”

“Azriel I have never wanted to suck a man's dick the way I do yours. Please? Let me?” You made sure to throw on your big puppy eyes and you got him. 

He threw his head back. “I’m not gonna last.” 

“Good.” Your eyes darkened. “Now, unzip your pants for me like a good boy.” 

He sighed, “you’re going to wreck me. But also I’m allowing this because I can’t wait to fuck you till you cry.” 

Oh fuck. Was your only thought as his pants and underwear hit the ground. Causing his cock to spring up and smack his stomach. 

Not only were his words scorchingly hot, but seeing his tattoos up and down his body was a wet dream incarnate. 

He was thick and long. His tip was red and weeping. A fat drop of precum on the tip. 

And he was pierced. He had a jacobs ladder piercing which made you salivate and wonder how it would feel inside you. There was a snake tattoo wrapped around his waist, with its head by his belly button and then the tail ending part way down his left thigh. 

You could not wait to get your tongue on his skin. 

You licked a stripe from his balls to tip. He hissed as your warm mouth enveloped his most sensitive skin. 

You were glad you had blowjob practice before him, his dick hit the back of your throat and you were able to stop yourself from gagging. You could feel he was holding back so you came off of him with a pop. He groaned in annoyance but then somehow felt harder than before when you hoarsely whispered:

“Fuck my throat, Azriel.” 

He swallowed, “tap my thigh if it gets too much.” 

You nodded, smiling. Your swollen lips were a siren’s call. You were practically vibrating to get your mouth on him and be used. 

He grabbed your hair gently, yet firmly and used your mouth like a fleshlight. It was so delightfully filthy it made you grow even wetter.

You’ve never been more happy for a guy to shoot his load down your throat. You swallowed every drop. 

He had a good diet at least because his come didn’t taste like battery acid. 

He shucked off the rest of his pants and pulled you from your knees quickly. He pulled you into a kiss. “Fuck, it should not be so hot to taste myself on your lips.” He murmured between your swollen lips. 

He took off your tank top, showing your sports bra. “Where’s your room?” He said kissing your throat. 

“Down the hallway, the only door on the right.” You whispered huskily. 

“Good, because I’m about to do some multitasking.” He said, then lifted you up as if you weighed nothing. 

“Shit!” You yelped. 

He then dove into your cleavage, however you pulled his head away and ripped your bra off and threw it so he had easy access. He sucked a nipple into his mouth and you moaned. He really did multitask because he began walking to your bedroom. 

“Left of the door against the back wall, is my bed.” You said between gasps. He switched tits. 

You didn't even realize you had moved so fast until your back hit your bed. He ripped his shirt off and you couldn’t help but gaze at his ink. Whorls and delicate lines inked down his chest as if there were shadows caressing his skin. You had seen his arm tattoos constantly and they never failed to take your breath away, but these. 

These were almost as sinful as the snake on his hips. 

He began kissing down your stomach. 

“This isn’t like me.” You whispered as he kissed your chubby stomach. 

“What?”

“I don’t do quick…hookups.” “This isn’t a hookup to me, Y/N.” He nearly growled as he tore your leggings and panties down your legs. You looked down to see him sniff your panties greedily and felt more warmth gush from your cunt. 

“You have no idea what I’ve thought about doing to you.” He said darkly. He grabbed your thighs. “I’m about to make you forget about anybody before me.”

“Well, no one’s gone down on me before so…” You trailed off weakly. 

He shot his head up from kissing your thighs. “What.”

You shrugged, feeling slightly defensive. “No one’s really wanted to.” 

“The day I say I don’t want to eat you out, shoot me. Cause that’s not me.” 

“Well, let’s not go that far-oh!” You yelped as you felt his teeth graze the soft skin of your thigh.

“God, these thighs…” He muttered, biting your thigh gently, causing a sting of arousal to shoot straight to your clit. His warm tongue soothed the light bite marks. 

You moaned. His mouth sucked your clit into his mouth with so much force your back bow3ed off the bed. 

“Fuck.” You cried out. 

He spelled his fucking name in your cunt with his tongue. His teeth ever so slightly grazed against the nub. How he knew you liked some pain you had no idea but you were grateful for such an intuitive partner. 

It didn’t take long for you to get to the crescendo of this symphony. The slurping sounds, his moans as he tastes you, it was enough. 

Your wildest fantasies didn’t live up to this. Your vibrator for once, did not beat the actual act of intimacy. 

He licked you gently as you came down from the high. He crawled up to your face and gave you a sweet kiss where you got to taste yourself. 

“Fuck, you were right. Tasting yourself on your partner's lips is hot.” You sighed. 

He chuckled, “I don’t have condoms, if you even wanted to go that far.” He said sadly. But you knew it was cause he didn’t bring condoms. Not over the fact that you might not want to go that far. 

“Top drawer of the left nightstand.” You whispered. 

He smiled like he was given his favorite candy. He walked over and grabbed it, tearing it open gently with his teeth and rolling it onto his dick. 

“Please tell me if it gets too much, I don’t want to hurt you.” 

“Please fuck me Az.” You begged. 

When he entered you, he thought he was going to bust right there. You were warm and inviting. Then you clenched around him and based on the gleam in your tear filled eyes, you took great pleasure in torturing him. 

“You know, when you’re used to my size I’m going to make you regret that move.” 

“Oh, so you have an ego?” You said and wrapped your legs around his waist. Your heels digging into the meat of his ass. 

But you weren’t fairing well either when it came to self control. He felt so fucking good. His piercings pressed up against each muscle inside of you. Rubbing against your walls so deliciously that your toes were curling. Your eyes filled with tears because the pleasure was so incredibly intense but you wanted more. You were ready to dive headfirst and drown in all things Azriel. 

He deeply, yet gently, thrust into you, hitting that sweet spongy spot inside of you (that nobody has ever hit before) causing you to gasp and arch into him, forcing him deeper. 

Your senses were in overdrive. Skin slapping, moaning, gasping, bed squeaking. Feeling his abs pressed against your soft stomach as your tits we’re pressed against his pecs. His head pressed into your neck as he deeply thrusted in and out of you.  

Neither of you lasted much longer. 

-After intense aftercare and very sweet words. You two decided you were a couple because you were insane for each other even after only two dates. 

-It was incredibly impulsive. But it felt good and felt like he was your forever. That’s when you believed in the saying “when you know, you know.”  

-Once you and Azriel began officially dating and calling each other ‘boyfriend’ and ‘girlfriend’. He put a picture up of you at his station. You were looking at the city lights from a rooftop bar you two had gone to. You were gazing out towards the lights with a sweet smile on your face. Your hair was a mess because you had just gotten off of work and needed drinks and appetizers with your man to decompress. 

-You didn’t even know he had taken it. Which made it more meaningful for him because you weren’t posing or ‘making yourself look nice’. You were real, authentic and gazing at something you loved, the city lights. 

-Your best friend saw it and her heart felt like it grew bigger because she knew you had someone who cared for you. 

-His IPad was filled with drawings of you. Some were able to be shown but a lot were just for his eyes. He couldn’t help it. Your thighs and rolls looked like they were sculpted by Greeks themselves. So delightfully plush. 

-He also dabbles in photography. Either with his phone, polaroid or film camera. He makes you put different lingerie on so he can keep the images of you forever. 

-and jack off while you two are apart from each other. 

-This man is loyal. Not only were you at his station, but there was a polaroid in his phone case of you. That one was a bit more risque and you only allowed it to be taken and put in his phone case because his phone case was black and no one couldn’t see through it. It was just in the back of his phone as a bit of motivation to keep working for his hot girlfriend. He’d pop his phone case off and secretly peek at it. 

-it was you in a dark blue lace corset. You had posed with a hand heart against your chest and a beaming smile. It would be seen as innocent if it wasn’t for the clothes you were wearing and the fact that your nipples were seen through it. Your tits were deliciously pressed up tight against the lace cups. 

-On his lock screen was a blurry photo Feyre had snapped of you two at a party. He was kissing your temple, you were half in his arms. Your arm that was wrapped around his waist and closest to the camera. Except it was flipping off Feyre (the live photo you can hear your laugh and Feyre’s and then the camera pans down because Feyre was caught). Your eye was winking from the force of Azriel’s kiss on your temple. Your smile was wide and you were clearly laughing. 

-He stopped letting clients take their clothes off for placement tattoos. Even if in some cases it could be easier to tattoo a cleavage with the person's top off, he won’t do it. -He feels bad enough that his arms have to rest on their chest. 

-The only tits he wants to see are yours. 

-You find it hysterical that so many people fall for your man. It was a bit of masochism in your case, enjoying flaunting the fact that this God of a man was taken and happily invested in you. 

-It helped that your man was totally fine with you being a weirdo. 

-One time he bent over in front of you and you just, “I want to bite your ass.” 

“I mean, you can.” 

-You’ve tied bows around his biceps and taken a picture. You loved that photo because not only does this big buff tattooed man have a little pink bow wrapped around his biceps but there's also red kiss marks all over his arm. 

-That photo alone could get you off. 

-You’re a big fan of marking your territory. You keep red lipstick in your bag just to give him a kiss on his neck or anywhere where anybody could see it. Just to mark your territory. 

-He eats it up. Like “yes that’s my lady, yes she’s hot. and she’s all mine and i’m all hers.” 

-Usually leads to you two fucking in the bathroom. 

-He is your good boy but can also choke you the fuck out. 

“Come on, take it like a good girl.”

“Use your words, baby. I can’t decipher your babbling.” As he overstimulates you with his tongue and a vibrator. 

-He’d happily be used as your personal toy. 

-You sneak photos of him tattooing clients, it’s just so hot to see him so focused and into his job. 

-He definitely offered to tattoo you but you kept declining, then he designed a beautiful sleeve design that incorporated all of your favorite books for your one year anniversary. 

-So you got that sleeve done. 

-It was one of the only parts of your body that had ink. You were a baby with pain but it was satisfying too. The only way you sat through for a sleeve is all the kisses Azriel gave you. 

-He was never the type to like partner tattoos but he gets it with you. He has a heart with your first initial on his right ring finger as a promise to put a real ring on his left ring finger that also belongs to you. 

-At tattoo conventions, tons of artists always want to meet him. You try to encourage them to go talk to him because let’s face it, Azriel is intimidating to just walk up to. His art style is very recognizable and people love him. 

-You’re known as the Shop Sweetheart. Not only does your boyfriend work there but so does your best friend. It’s common that you drop coffee or food off if the team is working late. 

-He treated you like a queen. Nobody had ever treated you so kindly yet also messed with you like a best friend would.

-Peace and love to your girl best friend. But this man was your partner in crime and in love.