#and its weird bc stuff like that makes me wonder who this is aimed at? like the humordoesnt feel sharp enough to be for adults

[librarycards]

pls ignore this is its too weird or too much labor, but i was wondering if you maybe had any tips or resources for ppl who have creative desires like writing but brain fog and fatigue tends to get in the way?

i do! it may not work for you bc people have very random/unexpected ways of dealing with this, but it's *very* common and there is hope :) [i think a lot of this is applicable across form, but i'm using "writing" here because it's what i'm familiar with]

one way is to be strategic about timing: this includes thinking about when you're least foggy/have the most energy, and/or the most "downtime" where there isn't anything in particular you need to do. many people wake up early so that they have alone time before their responsibilities. some people stay up late to write. i tend to do my daily writing (which I elucidate on below) in the evenings, around 7-10pm. whatever works, works!

relatedly: scheduling/routine is, for me, critical. i think it is for a lot of creative ppl. I write every day, in multiple ways: i keep a journal - i've done this since i was like 12, so it's as ingrained as brushing my teeth and i don't really think about it - and also work on some aspect of my current longest project [so, for the last 4 years, it's been the aforementioned second novel; for the 4ish years before that, it was Failure to Comply. i write other stuff during the daytime, of course, because writing is also my job(s). but if you're looking to establish a consistent creative practice, you don't need to be aiming for a certain hour or word count.

Instead: Aim for consistency and progress. Not perfection, not a "muse," not magic. There is no shame in making something that doesn't seem good, or that you end up deleting. in this particular instance, "perfect is the enemy of good" is 10000% true, and i think especially applicable to people who already experience external + internalized ableist ideologies on a daily basis. your art, regardless of what it is, should be a space where you get to make mistakes, change your mind, and learn new things. it should be something you can come to when you're tired, unsure, confused, scared, etc, even if it means just keysmashing and then closing your notes app for the day.

for me, having a daily practice, regardless of anything, means embracing the days where i write only one word and then despair, as well as the days i write pages. when i feel most depressed, in a very clinicized sense, i try to move from "everything i make now is going to be shitty :(" to "everything i make now is going to be shitty :)", not because i'm happy about it, but because....that's simply part of creating. everything is a bodily function. if you're not feeling good, maybe your poop will look weird. so too with writing. but you still do it. it can be mechanical. but it'll happen, and by doing it consistently, you give yourself the *opportunity* to locate insight hitherto buried, to have an idea creep up on your tiredself.

i guess in sum I'd say that the healthiest thing i ever did for my writing is something tantamount to body neutrality, which has also been an immensely positive addition to my set of frameworks for physical embodimindment. creative neutrality, i guess. this doesn't mean i don't tie my ego and personhood to work/productivity/quality. i mean, i totally do, and it sucks, but there we are. but it also means that i place that in a corner that does not touch my desire to chip away at something big, regularly. i make time every day to summon the urgency of whatever i'm working on, not because i'm proud of it at that moment, but because i want to give it another opportunity to give me something cool.

tl:dr: give yourself the gift of consistency and time, and don't be scared of making stuff that isn't good, or gets deleted, or doesn't make sense. write from wherever you want, physically, mentally, spiritually. give it the opportunity & even the expectation to happen and then work from there.

[freeuselandonorris]

what do you do when you get stuck in the middle of writing? i have an idea i really like, and i’ve gotten quite a lot down, and i’d love to finish it but i’ve just run out of ideas.

love your stuff so was just wondering if you have any thoughts on this!!

hi anon! first of all, i’m very touched that you’ve asked me for advice 🤍 luckily i have a terrible ADHD goblin brain that regularly gets VERY EXCITED about a thing only to completely give up on me halfway through and leave me floundering.

SO. here’s how i deal with it.

first thing you need to do is figure out what kind of stuck you are, because that’s crucial to figuring out how to address it. my main types of stuck are:

- i know where i want to get to eventually but i don’t know how to get there

- i don’t know where i want to get to and that’s terrifying me (and its related subtype, i know i need to write an ending but oh god endings are hard)

- i am putting myself under undue pressure to do this thing and giving myself the yips

- i have an easily-distracted goblin brain and i don’t want to do this anymore

there are probably other types of stuck, but this covers most of it for me and hopefully you can identify yourself as one of them. from what you’ve said in your ask, it sounds like you’re type 2 (the argh endings type) but i’ll write about the rest of them too cos i love talking about this kind of thing.

here’s what i do to address each of them. (under a cut bc this got LONG i have so many thoughts about writing!!)

i know where i want to get to eventually but i don’t know how to get there

this is the kind of stuck where you’ve got a vague plot outline or idea (i work a lot on like, vibes? so i often get this kind of stuck) so you kinda know how you want your piece to end (even if it’s just “and then they have sex” which is frankly the end point of 99% of my fics) but there’s a whole murky blob in the middle where you have to actually GET THEM to that point. my friend rosie (who is a very experienced novelist and poet and thus knows her shit) calls this the ‘baggy middle’ and claims it is the ultimate writer’s nemesis, because it’s very easy to get stuck there, going round in circles until you give up.

my solution to this is simple: don’t write in order. if you know how it’s going to end, or you’ve got an idea for a scene three quarters of the way through, write that scene. stick a placeholder in your gdoc that says something like XXX MORE STUFF HERE WHERE THEY HAVE FEELINGS or XXX ARGUMENT GOES HERE?? or simply XXX MORE STUFF HAPPENS (the XXX is so you can do a CTRL+F afterwards and find all the placeholders). i used to tie myself in knots trying to force myself to write in an orderly fashion, from beginning to end, but sometimes you need to give yourself something concrete to aim for. often the little details you seed into the scene you do know how to write will spark an idea, and then you can go back later. it can be a tiny detail — oh, i mentioned that lando has bags under his eyes in that scene, maybe he’s not been sleeping recently and they can have a conversation about it two races earlier that makes oscar worry about him, etc.

i don’t know where i want to get to and that’s terrifying me (and its related subtype, i know i need to write an ending but oh god endings are hard)

this is my kryptonite. i HATE writing endings. they’re hard. and for me certainly, a lot of the time when my interest drops off suddenly when i’m about 90% done with a piece? it’s not because i’m out of ideas, it’s because my brain is just going URRGH ENDINGS HARD SCARY NO THANK YOU! WHY NOT START A NEW THING!

but in a weird way, my advice about this is kind of the same as it was for the above: you’ve probably already given yourself the answer earlier on. re-read what you’ve already written, and pay attention to the little details that you put in without even noticing you were doing it.

is there a scene you could see particularly clearly? did someone say something important, or that you weren’t expecting? is there a nice metaphor you chucked in that you could return to? a lot of my fics, especially the longer ones, will return to an earlier theme towards the end. whether it’s a line of dialogue referencing an earlier joke, or an allusion to symbolism (this works well with the metaphors), or answering a question a character might have posed earlier (even if it’s just an internal question e.g. does he actually like me or is he just fucking me because it’s convenient? which is the question at the heart of my current landoscar WIP and is a good one to explore because a lot of people have felt like that at some point, so it has broad appeal).

a side note on endings which is sort of unrelated to your ask but i think useful anyway: sometimes you’ve already written the ending and didn’t notice. read it back and see if there’s a point that feels like an exhale. then read everything past that point and ask yourself if it’s really adding anything to the writing, or if you’re just dragging it out because then you don’t have to tackle the Big Scary Ending you’ve been psyching yourself out over. some of my strongest endings have come about when i’ve deleted about 800 words off the end of a piece and just let it end at a natural point. your strongest writing comes out when you’re not paying attention sometimes.

i am putting myself under undue pressure to do this thing and giving myself the yips

are you writing for an imaginary audience in your head? are you telling yourself you HAVE to get this fic finished by an arbitrary date? are you telling yourself that if you don’t finish this it’s because you’re a useless piece of shit who doesn’t deserve to own a keyboard? you might not be, but they’re all things i tell myself regularly and guess what, they’re not conducive to the writing mindset!

if you ARE telling yourself these things, you need to take the pressure off. if you catch yourself thinking these things, try to gently but firmly tell that bit of your brain to shut the fuck up. i know this is not easy. it is a daily, endless, grinding practice of not allowing the bit of you that hates itself to spew its nonsense everywhere. sometimes you just have to go “okay yeah cool i’m an untalented hack who can barely construct a sentence but luckily i don’t care and this isn’t being submitted for the nobel prize for literature, it’s literally just about middle aged men making their dicks kiss, so let’s not deep it”.

daily writing sessions are very useful for slowly training yourself out of this mindset. make it a chill thing. i do most of my writing in the morning before the rest of the world has had time to sap my energy (i’m lucky in that i work from home currently so am able to do this — i realise it’s not always this easy). start with like 10 minutes, make it chill. if that’s still freaking you out, write one sentence. or better: one and a half, so that when you come back, you don’t have to think of a fresh start to a sentence; just finish what you started.

i have an easily-distracted goblin brain and i don’t want to do this anymore

ahh, ADHD goblin brain my behated. this one gets me a lot, and sometimes there’s nothing i can do about it because the hyperfixation is done and my brain simply does not care anymore.

that doesn’t sound like the situation for you though, so if your brain is more like “ughhh i mean SURE i’d like to finish this but i’ve been looking at it for soooo long” then a tip that has worked really well for me is to simply ALLOW MYSELF TO WORK ON MULTIPLE THINGS AT ONCE.

i don’t know why this felt like a revolutionary act for me but it was like i’d unlocked a cheat code to life. i spent years forcing myself to try and stick with one project at a time because i had it in my head that that’s what you Should Do. doesn’t work for me! what works for me is bouncing between two or three things, sometimes in the same session (my favourite way to work is to split an hour into three 20-minute blocks and either go 1-2-1 or 1-2-3 depending on how many pieces i have on the go). this year alone i have written, i’d estimate, around 150,000 words across fics, poetry, a novel draft, the abandoned beginning of another that i realised was just the first one in disguise, and a screenplay treatment. are all of them finished? god, no. but this is the most productive writing year i’ve had by far.

and a final note spanning all of the above on your point of running out of ideas: get clear on WHY you are writing this thing. even if it’s a total PWP, there is always always some deeper theme i want to explore. whether it’s a particular power dynamic, or the way character X and character Y interact with each other, or how a foot fetish can be a metaphor for the grace of being accepted in all your flaws by someone you love. that WHY is your lodestar. if you don’t understand the underlying reason why you want to write the thing, you’re making it so much harder to then generate a set of ideas or scenes that work coherently together.

wow this got long. apologies if the formatting is all fucked up, i wrote this across three separate devices like a lunatic.

anon, and anyone else who needs it, i hope something in here clicks for you and helps! anon, i have total faith that you’ll get your piece finished. bird by bird, baby, bird by bird. (attn: link downloads a pdf)

[butterscotch-brigade]

theres nothing wrong with liking or enjoying a kids show!!!!! open yiur heart be free!!!!

ppl who are weird about or take too seriously (i mean in a negative way) on the other hand......

ahhh tysm anon!!!!

and oh yeah i totally agree!! trust me, i was an mlp fan during the Brony Era so i have plenty of experience w weird adults in kids fandoms. i think thats why so many ppl are wary of adult bluey fans (ive seen some ppl on twitter calling them "the new bronies") but in my own experience i think bluey fans are MUCH better at keeping the fandom a safe place for kids. a lot of older bluey fans are ppl who fell in love w the show while watching it with their kids, younger relatives, or kids that they may have been babysitting (i first discovered the show while watching it w my baby cousin!!). and while im sure there are bluey fans out there who are inappropriate, i can safely say that it is a MUCH safer community than the early mlpfim one by miles.

and yeah when it comes to the "taking it too seriously" thing ik what u mean, a lot of ppl who like stuff for kids (like bronies for example) will try to put these rly high expectations on the material bc they want to prove that its more Mature than what ppl think. and while i agree that bluey, mlp, and other kids shows CAN have mature moments, sometimes fans get rly carried away w their expectations and subsequently get upset/mad when the show does something that isnt "mature" enough for their standards (i remember bronies getting mad at mlp coloring books for being "too easy" LMAOOO). thats why its important to remember what the shows target audience is while also remembering that theres no shame in liking something thats aimed at kids!! thats how you keep the communities safe while enjoying the source material imo.

and yeah, while there are some bluey fans out there who say stuff like "bluey is better than most modern adult stuff nowadays!!", i dont think that ppl should be mocked for simply having that opinion. bc its just an Opinion, and what someone prefers in media can be very different compared to someone else's preferences. ofc i strongly encourage consuming a wide range of media that appeals to a wide range of audiences, but ppl are still allowed to prefer something thats made for kids over stuff thats for adults. thats just how opinions/subjectivity work!! do what makes u happy but dont be afraid to branch out as well :)

aksksks sorry for the rant i just have a lot of Thoughts on this matter LOLLL ty again anon have a wonderful day uwu

[vaugarde]

ive been watching brave animated series on netflix and halfway through the six episodes, so im gonna finish it and hopefully like it more by the end, but ngl i havent gotten this much tonal dissonance in a while

[littlefoxwithbighat]

I just wanted to say that while Bitch Hartman (thats a typo but it's funny cos he is so I'm leaving it) still sucks and bc he's a transphobe I hope all of his meals taste like unblended gravel; if you are a young artist in this fandom and your art looks anything like his and you're thinking "oh god everyone despises his art, even if they don't say it they're going to hate mine."

First of all sit down. Secondly have some lemonade. Thirdly let me tell you why that isn't at all true.

Some complaints about the art, which are all valid criticisms in my opinion, include "the anatomy is bad" (case in point Wilburs thigh), the designs don't look authentic to the characters (case in point the DeWilburfication of Wilbur), and the art style was butchered (pun unintended).

Firstly, the complaint about the anatomy. The biggest thing to point out here, and the biggest point I mean to make is that Butch is a professional. He has years of experience on you, and he has done this for years to make a living, funded my cooperations. He is at a point where it is unacceptable to make mistakes. You are a teenager and you don't have as much experience or as high stakes, so it is normal and expected for you to frick up the anatomy sometimes, because its a very difficult thing to get perfect right away.

Secondly about the authenticity of the characters. Firstly I want to make clear that as long as you are considerate and aware of some things in your character designs (as an artist you need to aim to be aware of stereotypes and characatures to avoid), apart from that you can do ANYTHING you like with the character design if YOU feel like it fits! Whatever you do will always be authentic to the character if you honestly draw how you want to interpret them. Because even if it its only on a tiny level you care about and feel some investment or enjoyment in the characters, and whether you realise it or not, that does show through in your art! Butch clearly saw a popular thing and jumped on it for clout without any understanding or knowledge of even the bare basics of the source material and THAT is why his design looks weird and unwilbured.

Thirdiy if you have a similar bold strokes cartoony style, and you feel upset because yours is similar and his is being criticised (which is understandable). The main reason people were piling on his art style is because a combination of the 1st and 2nd mistake makes the style look bad, and Butch makes a few mistakes with his style that are exacerbated by mistakes 1 and 2. But you'll be delighted to find out thst Butch's style isn't even his! He stole it of another artist and there have been many other cartoonists* with similar styles who's works you can explore. If you want proof that that kind of style really can be cool, some artists have done redraw of DSMP characters in a similar style* on here and they look amazing! It's not the style it's the execution and that comes down to Butch, a professional artist with no idea of the source material and lots of experience and making rushed and beginner mistakes, you as an artist are doing just fine.

Keep creating stuff. It's wonderful and I and everyone else love seeing it. Your cartoons are awesome and you're doing great. Why didnt you drink all your lemonade.

(* if anyone wants to rb with these posts or more information I would appreciete that thank you! :] )

[fandom-blackhole]

I'm back from my mandatory two day socialization recovery period required for all socialization even if I enjoy it. It's time for some Mermaid!Din au thoughts (No thots unfortunately but we'll live)

First off I love the isolation that the reader faces because of the lighthouse they live in. And I love how the townspeople being nice to the reader help give them a reason to stick around when weird things start happening.

I love how it took months before anything strange starts happening, like were Din and Grogu just not around or were they observing the reader. Did Din ever try to stop Grogu from damaging the lighthouse or did he let the little rascal do as he pleased.

· And gosh I love the idea of reader dressing in old worn clothing, a knit sweater with fraying sleeves, sweat pants covered in paint from repairs, an old windbreaker to help keep the cold out. It makes me heart all warm and fuzzy.

Edna, who i've head cannoned as this series Miss Chatham (H2O: just add water charter) is honestly life goals. Like live near ocean - check(ish), have rare knowledge that can be used to help new person - check, being just slightly spooky -amazing. And is that a little matchmaker I see her playing? I love it.

Then Grogu being injured :( I bet that Din is absolutely being eaten alive by guilt even though we all know it’s not his fault and he does literally anything he can to keep Grogu safe and happy.

And In love how Din is venerable enough to ask for help, like he recognizes that this is something out of his area of expertise so he goes to the person he knows is “safe” to get help. He’s humble enough to admit that he needs help and is not capable of doing everything for Grogu. And being able to admit that is an important life skill that not enough people have.

· But even after he ask the reader for help he is still hesitant which shows that even though hes trusting reader he will still kick (is it still a kick if its with a tail) the readers ass if he hurts him.

“But you can help him” Oh my heart the trust in that sentence. Like Din just heard, “so yeah I can help your son but I have to take him somewhere it will be hard for you to follow. And he needs to stay there for at least a week, and even if you manage to come its going to be so far from your natural element.” But he was still on board with the plan. And then he goes to climb on the rock so he can drag himself all the way to the light house because he can’t let his little boy go alone even if it means hurting himself to do it.

Reader was smart af for doing the old blanket slipperaroo trick

Reader immediately knowing something was up when she walked into town is so realistic. She literally is hiding a massive secret at her lighthouse of course anyone would be on edge walking back into society. Especially a society that already knows a little something about the secret. But them to amplify it. Miss Chatham to the rescue. She knows that reader is up to something and she uses her powers as an old lady with lungs and karen potential to scare off the problem for a little bit. The reader just placed so much trust on Edna by straight up telling her that she's housing Din and Grogu.

· Also that fool browsing the menstrual hygiene rack, like dumbass. Is this your way of making him miss every shot? Because we know that storm troopers are well known for their ability to miss every shot so making him automatically turn to tampons? Genius

Cashier for the win, like beep beep bitch now pay up

The "cyare" omg and then the reader warning Din about the cookies and him being so curious about them. The way Din is so perceptive of the readers mood that he is already able to tell that something is wrong. It was such a smart idea to have the reader lead with asking him to give her a small chance to calm down about what happened in the town.

Din and the reader low-key flirting and teasing each other at the end is so adorable. Grogu with the cookie absolutely melts my heart like of course that boy is hungry.

So this is a slightly polished layout of my stream of consciousness while reading this. Does it make sense? Probably not. But I love this idea and you have done it justice.

Ahhhhhhz thank you for all of the lovely thoughts and compliments, im glad you like my story and I hope it continuesto meet your expectations!!!! And you made perfect sense darling!

To reply to some things:

Honestly, I chose the isolation for two reasons, 1- it made sense, especially for how the plot is going to play out, privacy and isolation is needed, and 2- im introverted and I like being alone, so I just projected

The town's people are great! They are used to having lighthouse keepers just up and leave because of all the weird stuff, so the second that one sticks around they were all overjoyed, because like I said, a lot of the people work on boats fishing so the lighthouse is super important to them

Din did wait and observe the reader, wanting to know what to do when to attempt to scare them off. But also like no, he tried keeping Grogu away from the lighthouse as much as possible, not knowing what the reader might do to him, and just being a protective father, but we all know Grogu is a little shit and he snuck out before Din could stop him

Reader dresses in the COMFIEST clothes, and honestly, I am very much a sweater and comfy leggings kind of person, so again, something I am projecting

I love that you and everyone is loving Edna, she is definitely one of those cool old ladies that sneak you treats and shenanigans when no one is looking!

Also because idk if anyone has pointed it out.... in the last chapter I thought I was heavily hinting at it, but maybe it was more subtle than I thought, Edna and her MERMAID were alot more than friends *wink wink* she's gay as fuck and thats why she made the joke about not liking NUTS

Din loves Grogu, in and out of this AU, and it was 1000% not his fault that Grogu got hurt, in fact he was trying to protect him! Din definitely panicked and the first person that came to mind was the reader, and while he didn't know them, he knew for some reason they were safe to go to for help (as well as knowing the lighthouse would be a good place to hide while some things cooled down 👀), but Din will always be cautious because he is scared for his son

Din is just *chef's kiss* 👌, an amazing father who will do ANYTHING for his son, no matter what it takes

The whole blanket thing literally came from my childhood, thinking about how my sisters and I would drag eachother around on blankets, and I just thought it would be great for this scenario

Like the reader is gonna get real paranoid during this series, im not going to lie to you, things are gonna get rough, but Edna is the MVP she's one of those people that could pull your darkest secrets from you just by glancing at you, and the reader pretty much assumed she was safe to talk to after she had informed her about the food offerings

Ok ok, as for the dudes, I was too lazy to look up their names and stuff but they were these dudes from season 1 that gave Din Grogu's bounty: the first dude is the one 'hiding' in the women's hygiene section

Din is just obsessed for human food at this point, and he feels things for the reader even of he doesn't want to admit it quite yet

Din also may be oblivious as fuck, but he's also observant, hes a bounty hunter for fucks sake, he needs to be able to pick up on these things, so yes in my stories Din is really good at picking up on emotions, even if he doesn't fully know how to react to them

Im aiming for a slow burn foc, but to be honest with you all, chances are it is going to be a regularly paced romance, which for my writing is slow paced, so yeah the idiots are flirting and teasing eachother, but also like they will not be talking about or admitting feelings for at least a few more chapters

Grpgu deserves all the cookies!!! He's a growing tadpole, who has been magically healing himself while in a coma like state, so he hasnt eaten in days, and if he wanted he'd probably be able to devour 2x his body weight and then some, so a few cookies recieved in some kind of mysterious way are well achieved

Merman!Din Tags: @writeforfandoms @ahopelessromanticwritersworld @honey-goth  @mando-abs @lux-cream-67 @rachelle-on-the-run @katcharm   @ladamari68 @bluegalaxyprime @my-life-as-a-bird @altarsw @zarakem @stargazingthenightaway

(Added the taglist in case any of you guys wanted to read over my thoughts and things bc I have some hcs and cleared somethings up ypu may be wondering about)

[spacegaywritings]

Warming Paws and melting Walls (5/8) “Territorial Revenge”

Summary: Nobody responded within a week and so Remy made sure to inform Emile so they could repaint the office. Virgil does not like being alone for long, especially when it is unexpected.

Luckily, the two are quick to make up.

 Tags: animal waster, cat litter box, urine, descriptions of urine smell, cleaning, a bit of fighting bc this is an upset kitty, food and eating mention, feeding, late nights, metal clanking sound, vaccine mention, vet mention, slight restrictions of breathing? Pining mention, auditory triggers, migraine mention, somft feelings, more snuggles and cuddles, kitty gone bad boi,

i do not think there is any more to be applied. If you need me to add anything, please contact me here or on my tumblr (spacegayparty, spacegaywritings)

My KoFi  - Support me ♥ or Commission me

ao3: 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 // all.

tumblr:  1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 (you are here!) / 6 / 7 / 8.

 Story under the cut: (Wordcount ~3,1k)

Metal clattered together as the key within the lock pressed deeper into it and started turning in order to open the door at last. The light sound filled the cool air. Eventually, the metal keys fell against the dark colour, wooden door and with a particularly loud ‘knack’ of the door, the lock gave way and the way was free.

Remy finally stepped into his home.

It was dark already but that did not stop him from wanting to go home, it encouraged him even further. He was the kind of person to change the night but with Virgil waiting for him, there was an intense urge to just be with the little pet. The darkness outside his apartment was driving him to be faster when the hours passed and passed.

 He had cleaned everything with Emile, right after fucking painting it all and reorganising two fucking offices. It was work. It was a lot of work but it was paid extra work on top of that, yet Remy was not exactly a fan of it. The man liked doing his thing, being left alone a bit but also having some non-annoying or intrusive/persistent social interaction. But.. working with Emile all day was as lovely as it could be exhaustive.

That pal did not gossip enough! Remy wanted to talk about chill things, not how he hated or did not hate his parents and whatnot.

 Sometimes he wondered whether people moved away and went to other therapists so they would be safe from all their dreadful puns. Maybe it helped in therapy? He did not know but it made him feel fluttered and warm all the same. Still, it would get him to feel nauseous after some time. Maybe Emile played into his auditory triggers - too many words in too little time.

 Remy stepped into his home and closed the door.

The sound of shutting it echoed through the vast emptiness in his apartment. Actually, there was so much nothing, it really filled the complete living space.

 Strange..

 All he could notice was a certain smell.. a pungent, intense smell. It was odd and he could not quite place it.

It sort of reminded him of...

 Oh no.

 He carefully switched on the light.

Whenever he used his lights, he could not help but be glad about having found proper lamps that did not cause too much eye strain at once. People who developed and invented ideas for dim light bulbs and lamps that were made to be comfortable rather than stinging in illumination were simply saints and he would never back away from this opinion. Those were fucking heroes because they helped the dumb minorities like him that was too Extra (tm) to live with regular things.

 When the dim lights, he loved so much, showered the hallway in golden warmth, he noticed.. a weird bit of something on the floor.

 Please please no.

 “Virgil?”

 He called into the void, for the void.

Nothing came back.

 Was the cat okay?

 Remy carefully made his way over to the weird something on the floor. It looked like spilled liquid, somewhat translucent and odd.

Did... Did Virgil vomit or pee onto the floor? Holy fuck, it smelled awful in the most indescribable ways. He did not want to describe it anyway, let alone sniff it enough to figure out certain components of the smell or any similarities to other scents.

 ...Oh dear fuck.

The smell - It was cat pee. Virgil had decided to fucking ruin his floor right in front of the little cat toilet he had put up.

 Well... that was it, he supposed. It had been a dream that Remy did not really have to “potty train” the kitten since it came with a lot of good manners already. That was so much of an indicator that the cat was from somewhere, that they were civilised and socialised.

Still, after weeks of no answers, Remy had cut the search and was happy to call the cat his own (albeit he never said so but the smiles on his face were more frequent than before and even his migraines seemed more at ease - not to mention how rare they had become).

 But it was too nice to have a cat - a first pet - that just was clean and trained and would use the litter box accordingly.

 “I swear, you are going to kill me, Queen. I just cleaned it in the morning. It cannot be that bad, can it?”

 He already moved to open a few windows and make sure the horrible smell would yield to the fresh air of the evening.

Maybe he should not have been outside for so long without sending anyone over to check on Virgil and catsit after all. Remy admitted he should look into some silly students who needed the money and would be happy about just cuddling a cat and being able to have some WIFI and such.

 But really, he had not planned to stay outside for that long. He had wanted to run over and check in on the dust ghost during his lunch break. Sadly, Emile did have that sort of amnesia effect on him. His horny brain went dumb and forgot all the important logic and memory. Therefore, he had been too stupid from love to really think about Virgil needing him at that moment.

Next time, he would discuss this with Emile beforehand. One mistake was alright as long as nobody was hurt and he learned from it.

 With black bags under his eyes and shades perched up on the top of his head, he grabbed a few tissues, gloves and a mop and got ready to clean up. Excitement as great as it could have been in such a situation, he got down to clean up and once done, he finished up over there and tended to the litter box.

 Nearly empty. There was like, the usual stuff but it was not much because he had cleaned it in the morning - on purpose!

 “Are you fucking kidding me? Virgil, why would you do this?”

 A deep groan of annoyance split his lips. He got up to remove the bit of waste that was still residing inside. It just took a few moment and it was already done. He disposed of the dirt properly and put his cleaning utensils into the dedicated space. 

A tinge of worry hit him as he did so. The cleanness was achieved at last but what about Vi- Just then, a streak of black crossed his view.

 “Virgil!”

 His tone was low, touching a bit into the territory of a parent. Specifically, when a goody two shoes did something wrong and the parents got all “I am not mad, just disappointed”.  

The kitten ducked away and whipped its tail down before slowly swishing it from side to side.

They almost looked ready to fight and as if Remy had provoked it, the void suddenly jumped at his black boot - yes, just one. This was one smol individual and they had yet to be tol enough to attack two Remy feet at once. Soft paws drummed onto the shoe and the ball of charcoal furry was hissing and scratching.

 “Hey! Ow-”, Remy hissed back in surprise and slight aggravation, “Virgil, what the fuck!”

 The cat jumped back and Remy quickly dropped his jacket, revealing a black sweat shirt he was wearing underneath.

 The angry cat hissed at the man and ducked and arched their back. Then, they went in for the fight, now aiming at his knees. A pair of claws jumped at him, so Remy committed himself to the idiocy of catching the cat and picking them up.

 Virgil did not get his knees but they did catch some skin of his arms.

 “What is wrong with you, gurl? Do you want to play? This is some shit way to tell me about it, queen. You pissed on my floor.”

 Virgil hissed again and Remy blinked in incomprehension. He should learn more about cats or something. Like, take a course in cat training because this whole behaviour was too sudden and confusing for him to make sense of it. These acts were so contrary to what they had done before to him. Even at the start of their relationship they had been somewhat loving towards once another.

 He did not want to admit it but.. the cat rejecting him kind of stung. Yeah, his attacked shoes were also a point of inconvenience he did not really approve of but they were manageable.

The cat was down on the ground again but definitely not down-to-earth. They were already spitting fireballs at the belated arrival and Remy was cursed with being puzzled forever since they could not communicate and explain what happened.

 Remy was unfortunate to think of Virgil as playfully fighting him. By instinct or whatever.

 “Hey Queen, if you wanna play, can you just give me a minute or two, so I can eat? I want to exist, too, and you need to eat as well.”

 He collected the food and water bowl and made sure to fill everything properly. Virgil had abandoned him again in favour of creepily staring at him from afar. The tail was swishing like a clock’s ticking arms. And they were counting his time until being brought to justice by Black Cat Law, aka The Void Law.

 The cat owner emerged from the kitchen, filled bowls filling his hands.

Dry food, just a bit - minimal amounts. Wet food - the main source of sustenance for the kitty cat. Water - because kitty cat got free bowls of water twice a day, thrice when at work with him.

Remy put it back into place and the kitten quickly returned to retrieve the food.

 “Yeah, now you are happy, are you not?”

 The cat very much ignored him so they could feast upon the bouts of food brought to them. Finally their slave human was working again and feeding them as he was supposed to.

Rude to just take an unannounced break.

 “Yeah, I should have expected you to be bitchy without food. You are just like me, are you not, little honey?”

 A chuckle could be heard as he took a little moment to relish in the sounds coming from the Void of Darkness and Fire (tm) purring and chewing. The noises were barely audible but Remy has started picking up the most silent ones. It helped him detect the kitten’s feelings or locations when he needed to tend to the cat. Also, it made finding the cat easier for when he wanted to give them a little goodbye-snuggle before going to work.

 The urge to cuddle the cat right now was strong but he made sure to not do it.

Cats hated that, as much as sources told him. Sources were the internet and people and also a book he had gotten by now. And the vet he had visited once more after he decided to keep the cat since nobody seemed to care enough. Also, vaccines.

Other than that, Virgil also scratched him once he tried to snuggle them while eating. This was only legal when Virgil was already snuggled up to him due to pure pity they felt for him. Such a Queen.

 “You are too good for anyone, kitty. I am sorry for leaving you alone for so long.”

 No answer - but the black blob of fur seemed to be at ease with the food and water. This was a start, he thought to himself. Remy still felt guilty for leaving them alone for so long. Then again, he had expected to have the time and get home for a little bit during his lunch break but that did not work out, somehow. And going after his official working hours was not okay.

 He should give someone his keys so they could look after the little Queen of Salt for a bit when he had to stay away longer.

What if an emergency ever came up?

 His head shook the thoughts of darkness and anxiety away. Instead, he busied his empty hands with the simple task of reheating some food he had made before. Tomorrow he would get some chicken for his kitten to make up for being so neglectful and thoughtless. He needed to be more considerate and accept his responsibilities. After all, he was some kind of caretaker right now - a cat parent, if you will.

 Remy leaned back and took a deep breath.

 “Virgiiiiil ~”, he cooed softly and took out a little kitty treat.

 Just one.

It was not just for his guilty conscience but also for the cat to know he did not mean to. Virgil needed assurance and the stability of life. Giving him some sort of praise for being alone all day - for literally at least 10 hours - was appropriate, he supposed.

 The kitten was already done with their bowl of food and was currently drinking when the smell of more food and the sound of Remy’s - their owner’s voice - reached them. They sensed being called over and looked up from their bowl, licking their muzzle and nose with a satisfied look on their face.

 “Kitty cat”, he purred again and the void gently let their tail swish just a bit above the floor for a few single strands of their fur to trace over the dark ground.

 They purred back in solidarity. Soft paws sunk into the similarly dark floor. The kitty took one step after the other and slowly progressed, body slightly lethargic from the recent intake of food. The ball of fur and mischief made their way over to Remy and sniffed the air.

A determination ruled their fine movements.

 Ah, yes. More food.

Good human.

Their eyes sparked at the man, radiating praise and appreciation.

 Remy smiled in return and carefully nudged his hand close enough for Virgil to nibble at the treat. Immediately, they welcome it into their mouth. Without realising it, the owner visibly relaxed, the air standing in his lungs was flowing out of his nostrils and allowed him to inhale deeply. His posture eased up and his shoulders were now more straightened and calm compared to before. St a few moments ago, the weight of guilt tore down his body and forced his back to be crooked along with pushing his shoulders into a hunching position.

No more guilt was crushing him anymore, though. The cat had accepted his apology and was carefully pushing their head into Remy’s idle palm. The feeling of warmth, a bit of dampness and furry delight was tickling the receptors in his hand. The warmth travelled up to his chest, spreading throughout all of his body in the process.

 “You are too good for me. Aw, Virgil. Little Queen of Salt”, he purred and gently shifted to lean over and started brushing over the smooth and slightly shining fur of his little companion.

 His left was holding the curious head of a peculiar kitty cat and he gently started scritching their chin - well, the underside of their chin. It was a bit lighter than the rest of their body. At least, this is what it seemed like to him. It felt warmer and more brownish, yet just as lovely as the rest of them.

 Peaceful purring filled the room with soft sounds and calming noise instead of haunting silence

 “I love you too”, he chuckled.

 Maybe he did not know everything about cats, nor did he understand all his little sass-bean was trying to express with their general body posture, the position of their torso or their tail either - really, he did not know much at all - but he was still trying his best. He certainly was getting better at it and this counted, did it not? Also, it was not like he did not try to educate himself. His workplace naps were replaced by reading in his “cat bible” and literally taking notes.

 Hands gently curled around the food-filled body of a satisfied little void. Cradling the coal cat in his arms, he held them close to his heart and walked over to their couch.

 “Does my little storm cloud want to cuddle?”

 His voice was a low coo and the kitten responded with audible purrs and an enthusiastic bonk when their heads crushed together again.

 Ow.

... He would totally never get used to cats showing affection like that. 

 Well, still worth it.

Apparently, cats did that to show love or some trash. Whatever, Virgil barely ever did it but it got more and more frequent after their first days together. Now it was more often instead of rarely but it certainly was not the most usual and common thing between them.

Still, it could change. At the moment he just wanted to relish in the warmth of their cuddles and the comfort of their intimacy.

 Remy flopped onto the couch and left the cat on his chest while he simply laid down flat onto his back like a lazy plank swimming in the water. Just floatin’... simply going with the flow, adapting to any wave.

 The cat returned the action by softly pushing their paws into his ribs. Lungs complained due to the compromised volume for more precious and essential oxygen. Not that Remy cared.. nor did Virgil have the cognitive ability to care.

 “You having fun there, kitty?”

 This cat was royalty and Remy would continue to lay around and simply have them run up and down his body. All he wanted to do was.... just take off his pants and such and put on a more comfortable and flexible pyjama. Falling asleep in tight jeans was not as great (they were great for getting some looks from his boss, though). The idea of moving around right now was just as unpleasant as the idea of falling asleep and waking up in the pants he had worked and sweated in all day.

 Unfazed by anything, the void was simply preparing their human bed for a little longer before settling down onto his ribcage...warm and pressing. Just a tad uncomfortable.

 “Okay, there you go-”

 Yes, this was love.

 Remy was too exhausted and comfortable to feel too bothered by his air flow being obstructed. Slowly, he felt himself drift off. The man was soon in a light version of a slumber and gradually become a victim to the sweet relief of a little nap. The discomfort of sweaty and smelly clothes was forgotten when exhaustion took over. The overwhelming state of being physically drained got the best of him.

All good sentiment was forgotten when the comfort of a good cat and a warm home hugged him.

 Bye bye meal he had wanted to have. He was already satisfied in other way.

He was home.

 This was heaven.

[messedupessy]

Honeyvenom? 'v'

Kirango srs fucking bless you I was wondering if I would get any with my freckle squad boys and here you come and give me them bless ❤

who’s the cuddler: Stretch is like the obvious choice bc hey this boy is like the ultimate cuddler, but Scratch too is one big af cuddler when he finally gets confident and relaxed enough to cuddle, as he is so damn high strung and also pretends there is way more important stuff to do than cuddle, but with some coazing, reassurance and just comfort and love he can be persuaded and end up loving it as he is so overly touch and love starved its crazy, and Stretch is all too happy to indulge him. 

who makes the bed: Scratch, he is hella tidy and he will make the bed all proper and gets a bit miffed when Stretch don’t do it, Stretch do try to do it but sometimes he just forgets. Scratch will also make the bed whether Stretch is still in bed or not he will literally kick/push Stretch onto the floor if he have failed in waking him up bc Scratch got his routines and the bed must be made. Or Stretch will wake up enough to drag a schreeeching Scratch back to bed much to his protest and eventual defeat bc god its way too nice.  

who wakes up first: It varies, because Scratch got a really hard time getting up in the morning and so do Stretch, and since both of them got trouble with getting up though Stretch is a tad bit worse it often varies. though Scratch still ends up getting up first prolly as even though he got troubles waking up so can he not stand sleeping in and hates it when he ends up doing so anyway, so they got allot of alarm clocks and need to buy new ones pretty often as Scratch has a habit of destroying them on instinct when they ring. 

who has the weird taste in music: Stretch, he listens to pretty much everything and anything, Scratch is very picky with what he listens to but he is very into old rock, and he despises Stretch’s meme music so much, mostly because some of them are somewhat good and he refuse to admit to that. 

who is more protective: Scratch, he is hella fucking protective and will need to get held back or he will scratch a bitch, it doesn’t matter if its aimed at him or Stretch he will get defensive af and only Stretch holding him back will protect the person who has caught his ire, tho Scratch do get better with that stuff with some time but he will always quickly get very angry and defensive when ppl try to pick a fight etc, while Stretch is way more chill but like still protective in his own way but its nothing like that, they ofc protect each other in fights and stand up for each other just Scratch who has a habit of really getting pissed and aggressive to every little thing when someone insults him or someone he loves etc 

who sings in the shower: Stretch do, Scratch is too flustered to sing even more so outside of the shower to even try, so Scratch singing is very very uncommon, maybe some humming but if caught he will stop and just fluster af, so Stretch don’t push him about it at all he is happy to do all the singing himself ye. 

who cries during movies: Scratch, he gets really into movies and just everything and anything at all and since he got like way too much feelings and emotions for his tiny body he of course easily cries during movies, which he hates because he hates crying so much, Stretch is working on making him get better at just letting himself cry but its a constant work in process, Stretch only gets teary eyed if there is anything involving animals is in the movie otherwise not much of a cryer. 

who spends the most while out shopping: Stretch, like I have said before so is he a very, very impulsive buyer and just really like finding random weird shit he finds neat af, he is one big af hoarder after all. Scratch on the other hand is very strict in what he buys and only indulges himself at times very rarely, as he is often feeling ashamed for the things he likes due for been afraid he will be made fun of somehow for it so often he don’t buy things he actually wants, he do get better with it but he is still very like only buy what must be brought and can get a bit upset and pissed at Stretch’s habit of buying random dumb shit. 

who kisses more roughly: Scratch, he is well very insecure so he gets very rough to hide said insecurity, so Stretch will often have to get Scratch calm down and relax a bit as well, Stretch do like them rough kisses but you can be rough while been all relaxed ye, no need to be tense like a spring etc. And Scratch overall do prefer softer kisses anyway.  

who is more dominate: Scratch will insist he is, but they are pretty equal in so called dominance, though in the beginning Scratch is more dom due for been very anxious and insecure about it all because getting intimate is something he is scared of and he needs to know he is in control and Stretch don’t mind letting Scratch dom him at all, later though they begin to switch it up more as Scratch gets more confident and secure in it all ye. 

my rating of the ship from 1-10: 10/10! Because I srs love and adore my freckle boys so much ok, and like Stretch is really good for Scratch he is patient and chill and good at helping which Scratch needs and like yes of course there is some trouble at times as Stretch is after all a very jokey person while Scratch is overly the top uptight bc of his extreme anxiety and insecurities but it’s something they can work through etc and just yes I love them

Ship ask thingie here ye

[hotegg]

my weird fae connection (pt 1)

ive has a weird relationship with fey my whole life, even when i didn’t believe they existed.

my earliest memory regarding faeries was when i was reeeaaallly small. baby toddler age. i had this lovely little book about faeries that had beautiful and captivating illustrations. it was a little kids book, so i imagine its contents were sweet and bedtime story-ish. yet, when i looked at it, i got such a weird feeling. kinda like... i got uncomfortable? i wasn’t sure why, though.

fast forward many years until i started my craft, so about a year and a half ago. i learn a bit about the fey/fae but only really basic stuff like don’t give them your name, don’t make deals with them unless you’re really prepared, don’t thank them, they are dangerous, ect ect

other than that, i didn’t spend too much time focusing on them because i was busy learning other things.

one day i was feeling generous and in a giving mood. i wanted to become a bit more friendly towards whatever forces or spirits resides on and around my land. so i left a very very simple offering and told them to enjoy. part of the dedication was to the fae that might’ve been around.

it was kinda a one-time thing. i didn’t leave any other offerings after that. but then, oh boy, a week or so after, i had a shit week. all of my stuff kept going missing in the most INCONVENIENT of times. sometimes the things would turn up at the end of the day, sometimes not. it was extremely frustrating and it made me real upset real fast. at the time, i just didn’t recognize that a spirit, or even the fey, was messing with me. the idea only really hit me last month out of the blue.

as i’m going about my path, learning witch stuff and doing magic, i meet a lot of amazing people online. i also got some energy readings done. from what i can remember, i’ve been told i have fey/fae energy twice now. the first time was by a friend here on tumblr just briefly starting that my energy reminds them of fae. huh, weird. it was interesting, but nothing clicked when they said that.

even after a year of practicing magick, i still didn’t learn much about faeries. in fact, i kinda avoided them. actually, i definitely avoided them. i’m not sure why. kinda like the book when i was small, i just kept getting weird vibes from fey that i didn’t wanna mess with. especially after i realized that the week of hell i had experienced might’ve been due to the fact that i didn’t give the fae more offerings when they wanted it.

now, i honestly can’t remember if this next event was before or after my friend mentioning the fae vibe in my energy. but i remember one night, definitely a handful of months ago at least, i was falling asleep. but it wasn’t... it wasn’t a normal way of me falling asleep, if that makes sense? yes, i was laying down, i was comfortable and tired and ready to rest, but my energetic being was like “nope! we want to go to the astral!!!” and it was hard for me to stop.

it felt like i was diving head first down a chute. i keep going deeper until i remember seeing an oddly blank background that had a reddish tint to it? and standing before the strange backdrop, i (blurry) saw a handful of small beings. they were short (and if i’m remembering correctly, kinda squat) and had wings, and looked like they had human bodies. other than that, i couldn’t make out the details.

they seemed really joyful and jolly. kinda like any creature dancing and singing in Shrek. to me, it was like watching the cheesiest play.

they were singing in these high pitches voices and i understood they were smiling and acting happy and whimsical. but their dancing seemed to be leading me to somewhere. they were inviting somewhere. they were trying to lure me in.

now, a couple things to mention here.

1. i trust my deep foundation of my soul to save me in odd circumstances. i feel somewhat confident that i could kinda auto-pilot around in the astral and trust my core being not to be stupid. and i trust that in dangerous or odd situations, my consciousness will awaken, like it did in the situation, and i’ll be able to try to make my way out.

2. i understand that what i was seeing could’ve been a glamour. probably was a glamour. but the question is by who? were fey trying to appear more inviting? or was some other entity trying to completely fool me by portraying something vastly, vastly different from what they truly are? who knows. i guess i will never find out. but for now, we’ll say they were faeries because they appeared that way to me.

alright. so. these little faeries things were dancing and singing and speaking to me like an overly enthusiastic tour guide. when i noticed they were moving in a way that looked like they were trying to lure me somewhere, my consciousness woke the fuck up.

the creature were saying things like “come on! join us! it’ll be fun!” all that kinda bs.

and i kept yelling and trying to pull away from this... deceptive force that was trying to bring me in. i just kept yelling “no! i don’t want to!” over and over again, louder and louder, until i woke up with a jolt.

........ 🤷🏻‍♀️

so! after that!!! REALLY avoided fae.

fast forward to now. maybe last week or this week? i get an energy reading done by a blog on tumblr i’ve never interacted with before.

they mention that i’m connected to fae. not that my energy reminds them of fae, but that i’m connected somehow. weird.

still not sure how i’m connected to them, but once i read that, something seemed to lock into place? like some sort of subconscious meaning clicking that i couldn’t grasp yet. and ever since, my relationship with fae has appeared to become weirder.

ever since the diviner told me that, shit started in my house. specifically, my things. but only when i was looking for them.

okay, cat. that’s normal. you’re forgetful, clumsy, messy, and you misplace things often.

but... it was getting to a really strange point. as if, whatever happening was intentional.

the only example i can really remember clearly (because it happened AFTER i wondered if my shit going missing again was fae) is the other morning. maybe yesterday or the before?

i was sitting on my floor in front of my mirror in my room, doing my makeup. i needed to use my toner before i did anything. i had sat down after purposefully placing my toner next to my makeup bag after taking it out of another bag.

so, i layed all my cosmetics out before me and then reached for my toner.

which wasn’t there.

????????????????????????

i sat in place for a moment with this face: 🤨

and proceeded to carefully observe my surroundings. the bottle (about the size of a shampoo container) was no where on the floor with me. nor was it in my bedsheets. or on top of my only shelf.

i went out of my room and looked in each bathroom in my house bc i know how absolutely terrible my memory is and how easy it is for me to misplace things.

it’s nowhere to be found.

i go back to my room, now kinda frustrated, and i look everywhere in my room. i lift more things up, move all my makeup, shake my sheets, i do it all. still nada.

so. i sigh. then, knowing what i had to do, i spoke aloud and said, “please, toner, reveal yourself to me.” a simple spell that is kinda reliable in my experience.

when i said those words, i silently aimed it towards any spirits that may have been around. that were most likely around.

what do you know. THREE SECONDS after the words, i don’t even look around my room. i just plop myself back in front of the mirror, ready to give up on the toner, and the damn bottle was sitting on top of my makeup.

😐

so, ever since that. this fae relationship connection thing has.... caught my attention.

the odd thing is though. this week, as my stuff is being moved around (there were multiple other instances like the toner), my possessions seemed to turn up almost immediately after i asked for them back.

which is making me think... if this is fae shenanigans, they don’t seem to be doing this out of anger. but rather as... some sort of sign to communicate with me? or confirm something that i can’t even process right now.

anyways. i’m going to continue to try to understand what is happening and why with as little direct communication to fae as possible.

does anyone have thoughts in this????

ill be sure to keep an uodated log on this fae connection journey.

OH! the whole reason i wrote this in the first place!!! lately- before the weird fae stuff started happening within the past couple weeks- i’ve noticed that i cannot let a diviner do a service for me without giving them something in return. at first, i thought i was doing it to be nice. and i am. but. i can’t help but wonder if it’s fae influenced...

update: i also remember that last night i went to bed with my retainer in and in the morning it wasn’t in my mouth and i haven’t been able to find it! that’s too weird if that’s fae influenced!

i also remember that i was trying to count something, but for some reason it was extremely hard to count up to ten and my mind and tongue felt twisted. i have no idea if they do stuff like that, but i couldn’t help but think about the fae.

[thelittlestspider]

💜👻

@mvcreates

💜- top 3 favorite lines

hmmmm. okay forewarning: this is gonna be long. also spoilery. 

1. sage “kills” owen.

[warning(s): car accident, violence, torture, blood, guns, gunshots, and crying.]   

sageis driving when the tires are shot out, causing them to spin out andflip over a bridge. Sage is hella pissed. Like burn the world downpissed. She drags violet and carter out of the vehicle, laying themdown safely out of sight, and then goes to hunt down the fucker thatdared to try and kill them.

Shegoes up to the bridge to see a boy and a girl who she thinks might besiblings, holding guns in their hands. Sage holds up her hands tomake them feel safe.

“whoare you” asks sage, slowly edging closer to them.

Theboy smirks. There’s a look in his eyes sage dislikes immediately,something evil. “hm, nobody you need to worry about.”

sage’smouth quirks. “i doubt that.” she glances at the girl, then atthe gun aimed at her. They are fools, the both of them. She wouldhave thought they were trained better than this.

Sagegrabs the gun out of the girl’s hand, punching her hard enough todaze her. She spins lightning fast to hit the boy with the butt ofthe gun, then slams her hand against his chest with enough force tobreak ribs, dropping him to the ground. When he holds the gun up,wheezing for breath, sage wrenches it from his grasp. He glares ather with a hatred that would be frightening if he wasn’t so pathetic.

“thiswas your idea, wasn’t it?” she asks, voice low, soft. “i hopeyou’re satisfied with what happens to you now.” his sister screamsat the first gunshot, tears streaking her face, her handoutstretched. Sage glances at her. “get out of here while you stillcan. I might not feel so charitable once i’m done with your brother.”

theboy gurgles as blood fills his lungs. His sister cries. Sage watchesthe scene, unmoved by their pain.

“what’syour name?” the girl looks up at her with frightened eyes, lipsquivering against her sobs.

“w-what?”

“yourname.”

thegirl opens her mouth and closes it again, struggling to draw breathinto her lungs. “bella. My name is bella.”

“thankyou. I just wanted to know who i’m dealing with.” sage walks aroundthe boy’s legs to stand next to his side. He gives her that glareagain. She narrows her eyes at him, places her foot on his gunshotwound, and presses down. “Now i’m going to offer you a way out ofthis. You leave him here, I spare your life, you live the life you’vealways wanted free of this cancer.” he screams as she presses downharder, grinding her heel into his wound. “he made you do this,didn’t he? He’s always making you do things you hate.”

“yes,”whispers bella. More tears fall down her face. Bella’s guilt ispalpable.

“go.”

bellastands on shaky legs and walks away. She doesn’t look back.

i mean. it’s gonna have to be rewritten but like sage is so fucking raw in this scene i had to put it here. 

2. nina tells carter about her abusive ex kyle. i really like bc it was one of the scenes i wrote that solidified the bromance between them. 

[warning(s): talk of emotional abuse and gaslighting.]

the party has been going approximately an hour, when they realize nina is nowhere to be found. Violet sends carter to make sure nina hasn’t been kidnapped or eaten, or boarded herself up in the bedroom to avoid an awkward conversation.

Eventually carter finds her sitting in one of the lawn chairs in the backyard, gazing up at the night sky. She looks so serious sitting there, knees pulled up to her chest. Carter wonders if the void would give him the answers to life’s mysteries if he asked, or if it would stare back at him with its vast coldness, as unknowable and everchanging as time itself.

He plops himself into the chair next to nina, deciding nina’s troubles are more important than the void.

“are you alright?” asks carter, copying nina’s sitting position.

“yeah, i’m fine. I get overwhelmed when it’s a big crowd of people. So sometimes I have to go hide away somewhere when it gets too much.”

“um, ever since I was a kid, i’ve always liked going out at night and talking to the moon. I’d tell her about my day, or about the books I was reading.” nina smiles jewel bright in the faint moonlight. “kyle always told me I was weird for doing that.”

“was kyle nice to you?”

“most of the time. I guess.” nina looks down at her hands, fiddling with a thread on the sleeve of her cardigan.

Carter waits for her to speak.

“kyle could be really mean sometimes. He would tell me I was weird and that’s why I had to have the moon as my friend, because I couldn’t get anyone to be friends with me.” nina’s eyes become shiny as she talks, reliving an open wound. “and when i’d cry because it hurt so bad, he told me he was sorry. Then he would um,” nina sniffles, wiping tears away with her sleeve. “he would buy me gifts, take me out to dinner; that kind of thing. He was so sweet that I forgave him, and I’d start to wonder if I had overreacted, like maybe I just blew it out of proportion.”

“but I wasn’t carter, I wasn’t.” nina’s face scrunches up. “he didn’t care about me at all. When the ghosts hurt me, he didn’t believe me. He said I was just making it up for attention.” carter wraps his arms around nina, rubbing her back as she cries. “tiffany was the only person who believed me.”

“i’m going to set him on fire,” says carter, deadly calm. “and then i’m going to use him to light my cigarette.”

“please don’t do that,” nina hugs carter tight, resting her cheek against his shoulder. “but thank you.”

some of this is gonna be rewritten bc of plot related stuff, but i still really like the lines in this.

3. carter confides in nina about a one night stand gone wrong and about his past. nina is heartbroken. 

warning(s): mentioned slutshaming, implied domestic violence and sexual assault. it’s not graphic or anything like that, but still heed the warnings just in case.

nina hears carter take gasping breaths behind the door as he cries, and holds her clasped hands to her chest, a terrible ache in her gut. She recognizes that kind of crying; the kind of sound you make when you try so hard to stop, but you can’t because it’s pouring out of you. All of the hurt comes out in these kinds of moments. Nina closes her eyes, bracing herself for the fallout.

She raps her knuckles on the door. “carter, can I come in?”

“come in.”

carter’s sitting on the toilet seat, lips pressed together against another sob. His face and eyes are red and his nose is dripping. He grabs a handful of toilet paper and wipes his face, trying to look brave for Nina and utterly failing in the attempt. Nina looks back at him, thinking Who did this. Nina sits on the floor next to him, back resting against the cabinet, arms draped around her knees. She waits there looking down at her nails to stop herself from looking directly at carter’s downturned face. The trick to getting carter to open up is to let him talk first. She tried to force it once and saw that naked look in his eyes, before he flew away like a startled bird. Out of the corner of her eye, carter sniffs wetly, tears clinging to his lashes.

“i’m sorry,” rasps carter. “i didn’t want anyone to see me like this.”

nina chances a look at him. “what happened?” carter opens his mouth, then closes it. More tears fall.

“some guy I went out with, we– we were having fun. And um, he asked if i’d go back to his place. So I said, “okay.” but once we got there…” carter blinks, eyes distant. “he started getting mean. He called me a, a slut, and he sounded so much like him, I just couldn’t–” he puts a hand against his mouth, lips trembling. “i left.”

I’m so sorry, Nina thinks, blinking back the warm pinpricks behind her eyes. She clenches her hands into fists, feeling her palms itch with the urge to hurt whoever gave carter these wounds.

“if I ever find him, he’s a goner,” says nina, jaw set.

“bella beat you to it,” replies carter with a watery smile.

i can’t spoil what’s gonna happen, but nina sort of plays a part in owen’s eventual downfall. 

👻- 2 or 3 sentences from something you haven’t posted yet

tiffanysees carter grinning down at his phone during break and it takeseverything in her not to lean over his shoulder to find out who he’stexting. The curiousity is killing her.

“so…”she settles onto the stool next to carter, trying to be cool andfailing miserably. “okay you know I can’t be chill about anything.Who are you texting?”

“there’sthis girl. Her name is nina. She likes ballet and horror andantiques. She’s really cool.”

“likebuddy cool or girlfriend cool?” carter looks at her with such blankconfusion – like the thought of nina being anything more than afriend had never occurred to him – tiffany almost laughs out ofreflex. Luckily she doesn’t. She’d hate to put that red tinged,shamed look on his face he wears when he feels he’s done somethingwrong, only he doesn’t know what and he’s being laughed at for it.It’s a look she’s seen him wear too often.

“well,i’m glad you made a friend. I know how hard it is for you.” tiffanyprobably knows better than anyone how hard it is to find a friend.Especially when everyone knows you’re different.

It’sone of the loneliest things in the world.

[cheesyramynry]

tag time

mel tagged me in a lot thanks bro

aye aye aye thanks to he homegirl @starlightjeongin ily so much melly and you’re an angel <333 eskgetit!!!

also,,, there are like,,,, 4 tags in this so uhhhhh have fun

Σ੧(❛□❛✿)Σ੧(❛□❛✿)Σ੧(❛□❛✿)Σ੧(❛□❛✿)

i dont have a name for this tag

1ST RULE: Tag 9 people you want to get to know better

> so um if you read this you are tagged now congrats <

2ND RULE: BOLD the statements that are true.

APPEARANCE: - I am 5'7 or taller - I wear glasses - I have at least one tattoo - I have at least one piercing - I have blonde hair - I have brown eyes - I have short hair - My abs are at least somewhat defined - I have or had braces

PERSONALITY: - I love meeting new people - People tell me I am funny - Helping others with their problems is a big priority of mine - I enjoy physical challenges - I enjoy mental challenges - I am playfully rude to people I know - I started saying something ironically and now I can’t stop saying it - There is something I would change about my personality

ABILITY: - I can sing well - I can play an instrument - I can do over 30 pushups without stopping - I am a fast runner - I can draw well - I have a good memory - I am good at doing maths in my head - I can hold my breath underwater for over a minute - I have beaten at least 2 people arm wrestling - I can make at least 3 recipes from scratch - I know how to throw a proper punch

HOBBIES: - I enjoy sports - I’m on a sports team at my school or somewhere else - I’m in a orchestra or choir at my school or somewhere else - I have learned a new song in the past week - I exercise at least once a week - I have gone for runs at least once a week in warmer months - I have drawn something in the past month - I enjoy writing - Fandoms are my #1 priority - I do some form of Martial arts

EXPERIENCES: - I have had my first kiss - I have had alcohol - I have scored a winning point in a sport - I have watched an entire TV series in one sitting - I have been at an overnight event - I have been in a taxi - I have been in the hospital or ER in the past year - I have beaten a video game in one day - I have visited another country - I have been to one of my favorite band’s concerts

MY LIFE: - I have one person that I consider to be my Best Friend - I live close to my school/work - My parents are still together - I have at least one sibling - I live in the United States - There is snow where I live right now - I have hung out with a friend in the past month - I have a smart phone - I own at least 15 CDs - I share my room with someone

RELATIONSHIPS: - I am in a Relationship - I have a crush on a celebrity - I have a crush on someone I know - I’ve been in at least 3 relationships - I have never been in a Relationship - I have admitted my feelings to a crush - I get crushes easily - I have had a crush for over a year - I have been in a relationship for over a year - I have had feelings for a friend

RANDOM: - I have break-danced - I know a person named Jamie - I have had a teacher that has a name that is hard to pronounce - I have dyed my hair - I’m listening to a song on repeat right now - I have punched someone in the past week - I know someone who has gone to jail - I have broken a bone - I have eaten a waffle today - I know what I want to do in life - I speak at least two languages - I have made a new friend in the past year

alphabet tag

Rules: answer the questions in a new post and tag 10 blogs you would like to get to know better

> i dont know/remember enough blogs to tag im sorry <

A: age? > 15!!! <

B: birthplace? > californiaaaa <

C: current time? > 4:43 pm <

D: drink you had last? > water bc its good for you <

E: easiest person to talk to? > my irl homie @realmzenith , the most fantastic perosn i have ever met on this site and of whom my soul burns with affection for @starlightjeongin , and my rad friends in my got7 amino groupchat - selena, haru, apple, and emi :) <

F: favorite song? > oh boy i dont have a favorite favorite song bro i guess the first things i can think of is either danzon no. 2 by arturo marquez, martini blue by dpr live, and home run by got7 <

G: grossest memory? > asdf uhh when i went hiking with my pathfinder club and we went through a “long-cut” and went off the trail and we had to walk up this super long river, and then to get out of the river to land we had to walk through these riverbed plants and this gray mud stuff and i had to put on my socks and sneakers and it was disgusting <

H: hogwarts house? > i say that im a hufflepuff, lately i got placed in ravenclaw but i dont agree <

I: in love? > in love with the fact that im old enough to be a little free, in love with my kpop faves, in love with all of my friends who tell me they appreciate me, in love with the idea of being productive, in love with music and daydreaming <

J: jealous of people? > tbh i catch myself being jealous of other people’s artistic abilities, but i turn that into a need to become better/daydream about myself being that good so uhh???? yeah <

K: killed someone? > i was playing overwatch with a friend late last night and one of our comp matches there were these two dudes who played tank, one in particular imma call CTL who was rude to me and the whole team (my mic doesnt work so i couldn’t talk back but he was still a bing bond :( ), a few rounds after we left that one we got placed against the two mean tanks, and me, a mercy main with crappy aim, 1v1ed CTL who was playing mccree and i was HAPPY. we lost but binch i teabagged the heck out of his douchy body <

L: love at first sight or should i walk by again? > walk by again im staring at you either way <

M: middle name? > danielle!! <

N: number of siblings? > i have a younger sister!! <

O: one wish? > tbh to be better at what i want to be better at, like someone please give me like a stat 100 potion or something <

P: person you called last? > last person i called was my friend mikey of whom i was playing overwatch with lmao <

R: reasons to smile? > music!!! art!!! alan menken said that there will be a musical production of hercules in the future!! <

S: song you sang last? > the finale of newsies bc my sister left it playing on the tv as i ate nine (9) quesedillas

T: time you woke up? > techinally 6:30 am bc my dog was scratching my door, then 9, then 11 am <

U: underwear color? > mint blue and gray <

V: vacation destination? > i think i would love to go to the places in europe where composers lived, that or i would love to visit every place my internet friends live :D <

W: worst habit? > probably sleeping until noon, forgetting to do important responsibility things, reading a text message/email and then not responding bc i forgot about reading it

X: x-rays? > i got an x-ray on my right arm when i fractured it in kindergarten, some on my stomach when i ate like three whole mangoes with the skin on them, and some of my teeth before i got my braces <

Y: your favorite food? > thai food, stuff from panera bread, or pretty much warm foods with rice <

Z: zodiac sign? > im a virgo!!! <

✨ Fun Facts Tag ✨

Rules for this are:

Have fun with it!

Tag some of your mutuals

1) Favourite colours:

> green or purple!!! or like whatever im feeling lmao but those are my first choices <

2) Favourite song at the moment:

> asdkfjas;ldfkjsdlkfj bro i cant choose okay im going to shuffle my fav songs playlist adn put the first thing that comes up: damdadi by golden child

3) Last book you read:

> i think its my history textbook lmao finals are this week for me <

4) Last TV show you watched:

> my friend’s younger sister showed me clips from Stranger Things but i never have watch it before, i also watched a few dramas at a friend’s house but idk the names of them lmao

5) Last movie you watched:

> oh golly uhhh i think its enemies in-laws on netflix <

6) If you have a pet whats their name?:

> i have a doggo(?) named tucker <

7) If you have siblings how many?

> i have one younger sister!1! <

8) Favourite thing to do on a weekend:

> i think resting, getting up to date with my million notifications, just scrolling through the internet, or writing <

9) Best tumblr friends:

> on tumblr i have the amazing wonderful fantastic showstopping gravity-defying dabtastical @starlightjeongin aka mel aka melly aka melmel aka infant aka like the coolest and raddest person i have ever meet 

10) Favourite thing about yourself:

> idk if this is hard to explain but sometimes i do things people dont expect, like i was using my friend’s neighbor’s airsoft gun and like they were surprised that i have pretty good aim and that just makes me feel really good yknow <

11) Favourite memory:

> back in april 2017, during my band’s new york tour, in our hotel when i asked my friend what she was watching (it was got7′s m/v hard carry)

12) 3 weird habits:

> i turn on all of my nightlights in a specific order, when its dark in my room i like to dance to music and watch myself in the mirror, i tend to randomly scream i think <

13) What would you call your style?:

> i like to wear large clothes, even though im like a medium small bc ahaha i have slight body dysphoria, i also like to wear button-ups from the men’s section that have weird designs, suspenders, and i guess things that make me feel aesthetic and free < 

14) Odd talent:

> i can clap with one hand and me fingers bend weirdly <

15) Do you have a tumblr crush?:

> i have a big ol friend crush on my dear friend mel and a lot on the gr8 ppl of the aroha fandom <

the stray kids tag

Rules: answer the questions in a new post, and tag 10 blogs you would like to get to know better.

I’ve decided that in celebration of Stray Kids pre-debut album I needed to create a tag. The ultimate goal for The Stray Kids Tag is to learn about your Tumblr mutuals, and have fun answering the Stray Kids related questions! Here we go:

1: When did you decide to join the Stray kids fandom?

> lmao i learned about them when it was rumored that jyp was going to have a new boy group, and i followed the updates until the announcement of the webseries/release of hellevator. i didnt want more ppl to remember on my plate until december 30ish when i finally gave in to mel so here i am <

2: What is your favorite episode of Stray Kids? 

> im actually going to watch it right after i finish this tag post lmao ive never watched it before but i think ive seen clips??? when the boys were vlogging themselves packing idk if thats part of the webseries but thats cute <

3: Who would you say is your bias in Stray kids?

> I DONT HAVE ONE OKAY I DONT WANT TO TRY TO FIGURE IT OUT YET IM SCARED i legit like,,, dont know a whole lot about each member but i know their names but,,,,,, i think,,,,, before i start truly getting into them myself,,,, is probably seungmin,,,,, i think,,,,,,,, maybe,,,, whoops i just remembered woojin existed uhhhHHHH idk <

4: Who would you say is your bias wrecker in Stray kids?

> (im listening to ailee’s i will go to you like the first snow rn and im so emo while doing this tag) i love all of them!!!! probs chan or changbin or jeongin bc they are so sweet!!! <

5: What line would you want to be apart of in Stray kids? 

> idk the team compositions of stray kids so i will get back to you on that one until i watch the series lmao <

6: What is the first song you heard of Stray kids?

> of course hellevator lmao <

7: What is the first song you heard of 3racha? 

> FRICK actually i dont know bc melly showed me vids of them performing live but i dont know what the song was :( <

8: What is your favorite song on their pre-debut album?

> legit only have listened to hellevator and grrr so um ill say grrr?? <

9: What is a concept you’d like to see Stray Kids try in the future?

> SUSPENSE!!! idk if that ‘s hard to explain but like something with a story in the background, maybe like a spy concept with a nice orchestration i think they can do it <

10: if you could meet with the members of Stray kids for one day what would you say to them?

> ahhh!!! i dont know they all too too well but i would love to tell them that i feel that they are different from any other kpop group i have ever seen, bc they all seem genuinely happy and they are like the coolest bros and their friendship with each other is something that i could only dream of!! also ive heard that their songs have rad lyrics and they work super hard so i look up to them for that!!!1!!! <

[simkjrs]

msa ch3 asks

Anonymous said: I love how msa Izuku comes across as an honest to god cryptid: can't see his face, absolutely the kind of person you'd find at a gas station at 3 am, doesn't want attention, most likely distant cousins with Mothman

msa au is just me fulfilling all of my ‘protagonist is a cryptid’ dreams by making msa izuku as cryptid as possible. favorite character archetype: cryptid 

Anonymous said: so the msa au is my life right now thank u for that & I just read through the update twice so thank you for that x2 and I had to go back and look for Izuku and Kirishima's deal when it came up again and realized oh hey Kirishima agreed not to try and stop Izuku from leaving after 3 minutes and they didn't put a time limit on that i wonder if that'll come up again (& then my brain jumped to Izuku using that Forever. "we had a deal" every time it comes up. he cannot be stopped bc kiri promised)

got it in one!! izuku will abuse the wording of that deal forever if he can. good eye! 

Anonymous said: relatability of msa izuku: trying, doesnt trust feds, inability to sleep, ready to jump out 4th story window at a moments notice, anti-attention-

that’s msa izuku living the cryptid life of his dreams

Anonymous said: So wait you don't have to answer this if it's a spoiler but the collarbone blood tattoo™ is what's making deku's existence confusing to electronics, maybe?

yep, you got it! normally izuku is able to keep his presence from overtly affecting the electronics around him but scripting really starts messing with them. 

Anonymous said: quirkless msa deku anon and can i just say that deku looking eraserhead straight in the eye with lie detector policeman there and him saying "i don't have a quirk" and said policeman not detecting a lie is arguably the best thing i have thought of today.

tsukauchi:  tsukauchi: wh  tsukuachi: how did you even do all of [gestures at ch2 events] that without a quirk?  izuku: it’s a special talent of mine.

Anonymous said: I just read chapter 3 and oh my god oh my god oh my god. Your Izuku is who i aspire to be 24:7. Like everything he says makes me want to cry and laugh at the same time. You did good. <3

haha we are all aspiring to izuku’s levels of impromptu sass. im glad you liked the new chapter! 

Anonymous said: I'm probs rlly late cuz I Love in GMT+1 which means 9 HOURS of difference but I love your writing. Man, dude, being from beyond time and space, you always manage to create the perfect harmony between comedy and suspense that has you giggling while trying to figure out the mysteries of the universe. Just. OH BOI.

this ask is so funny and sweet at the same time. i love you 

@arinrowan said: it's kind of ironic that msa!izuku is exactly the kind of person who would benefit from friendship with/interacting with canon izuku.

msa izuku would benefit from friendship in general but you’re right. he needs the kind of quiet but aggressive support that canon izuku gives 

Anonymous said: Cuz I'm trying to see if I can figure this out, by "told me about Kamino Ward", does that mean that Izuku tipped kirishima that that was where bakugou was? How did he know tho, did baku's spirit go to him and tell him that? Did izuku actually play a part in the rescue???? So many questions

THE ANSWER TO ALL OF THESE... [spoiler alert] is actually ‘yes.’ more soon...

Anonymous said: when they start asking questions abt kamino ward at some point he just gets fed up and says "I JUST DID IT BECAUSE THE GODDAMN CAT WOULDNT LEAVE ME ALONE. I DONT EVEN LIKE BAKUGOU" and the heroes are like :0? what if, we brought bakugou here?

izuku doesn’t even acknowledge that the kamino ward incident happens it’s like theyre just talking to a brick wall 

Anonymous said: Izuku has no control over his own sass anymore and it's glorious?? Says "that'll be 500 yen" and looks surprised at himslef, says "now it's 600 yen" and looks downright mortified, the sass is too much for his smol body, sassmaster izuku ftw

to quote @salvainterra, “i love the fact that izuku never stops even when he himself thinks he should stop.” izuku listens to every nonviolent intrusive thought that crosses his mind and it both incredible and unfortunate. izuku is no longer bound by human limits 

Anonymous said: msa izuku is the living embodiment of the "fuck this shit im out" song

ABSOLUTELY

Anonymous said: tbh when msa chapter 3 said that izuku slept 12 hours at nighteye's office, i was guessing that he would just passive aggressively sleep as much as possible for as long as they had him. won't give them the satisfaction of watching him wander around in his holding cell. hes in the middle of the interrogation and he puts his head down and goes to sleep (btw love your work!)

haha no he was just so exhausted he passed out for 12 hours. he hasn’t had a good nights sleep in weeks, as soon as all [gestures at ch2] this was over he just crashed 

Anonymous said: Wow the new chapter is great!! Stellar as always. I can't help but imagine what's going on from Izuku's point of view with the spirits. Am I the only one who thinks Aizawa's spirit was trying to apologize or something when Izuku talked about not being forced into anything?

there was definitely some spirit stuff happening... i will say that aizawa’s fox spirit is the one who asked/persuaded izuku to tell aizawa what was Up with his quirk 

Anonymous said: tbh i want to see them question izuku with a lie-detector quirk or something. like he'll say something positively ridiculous and everyone's gonna go "wait wtf he's telling the truth??!!?!!?!?!?!?"

hoho... well... buddy im not gonna say anything... 

Anonymous said: Hello! I found your works recently and have an insane amount of time in the past few days going through it all, cause is all beautiful. I want to scream at you about all of them but you only get so many words with this so I'll focus on msa rn and I read chapter 3 of msa last night and since then I've been switching laughing at Izuku's sass, crying cause Izuku has so much angst involved him and I just wanna hug him, and screaming cause whAT WAS THAT CLIFFHANGER?!! Just what. Thanks for ur works-A

THANKS, thats the kind of reaction i aim for when i write something. im super happy you liked it!! <3 

Anonymous said: Technically his quirk is "Being alive" or "Having a functioning body" but saying that would probably end with the same blank stares. As a side note, in the manga (and canon in general) they mentioned quirks are activated by the 'quirk factor energy' or whatever... Do you think that might mean that people who are quirkless just don't naturally have enough quirk energy to activate their latent quirks? it would also make some sense from an evolutionary standpoint, the glowing baby is from the first

generation that had enough of the qfe to actually manifest their quirk and after that generation the lowering number of quirkless could be attributed to those that have a deficit in the production of said energy and they might actually have latent quirks. The pinky toe missing could be the final mutation that causes them to have enough energy for their quirks to work.. The only issue with the theory I see is OFA not awakening latent quirks with it's energy jumpstart...

i think that’s a pretty good theory! it lines up pretty well w/ the worldbuilding in msa. as for afo, :3c

Anonymous said: Hey uh.. I know this is probably 100% non canon in your AU but I was re-reading your MSA fic and I misread something that made me think that Izuku is actually dead and his body is actually being run by his guardian spirit who possessed his body/took his place when he died... *sweats* Its a really weird.. dark idea but I thought it was sorta cool and you might like it..? um.. I'll just let myself out now

god yeah that would be so dark and everything in msa would actually be even worse than it was before 

Anonymous said: When deku explains nighteye's quirk i can only think of that's so raven.

theyre valid questions... 

Anonymous said: I spent my break reading the asks sent to you RE: chapter 3 of msa and I cannot stop fucking laughing over "look eraserhead dead in the eyes and tell him you don't have a quirk" thank GOD I'm supposed to be happy and smiley to everyone

honestly, this is conceptually such a powerful moment that i can’t not put it in the fic now 

Anonymous said: msa izuka finally get set free but kiri has started following him around. States its official hero business but really just wants to see what other "cool shit" izuka will do.

izuku pulls an Official Cryptid Move (tm) and disappears while walking thru a liminal space 

Anonymous said: i love that when aizawa starts asking about deku's quirk he's like, 'screw this i'm answering in riddles now'. this is such a great fic!!

Anonymous said: “It’s a secret,” he says. “A secret that no one knows, that one will suffer, and one-half loathes. Who knows if it’s true or not? The only thing we can confidently say is that it’s one thing that should not be.” Okay, so this is probably one of my favourite little scenes from your fic, partially because it sounds so ominous and badass and makes pretty much no sense. I loved your update, I was so tense the entire time I was reading it, but also giggling hysterically because /Izuku/ just - Izukus

hmm i sure do wonder where izuku got that riddle from... and what it means... 

this riddle is just izuku complaining about everything because as long as he’s in this situation, he might as well make it perfectly clear how unhappy he is about EVERYTHING. when else is he going to have an audience for him complaining about his various maladies 

Anonymous said: I think that a part thats particularly true to izuku's character is when kirishima makes the observation "damn maybe it IS good we arrested him so he can sleep" & izuku goes into a miniature coma for 12 hours bc being arrested presented the perfect opportunity for him to finally be able to sleep

nfdfsljndslfnjdf YEAH, everyone please stop this child it’s for his own good 

Anonymous said: Reading know what i've made by the marks on my hands is really terrifying when not in Izuku's pov because you now know how scary?? it is for some other characters and Izuku looks crazy-- but you know he's not because cheesus???? This kid???????? Honestly I love it so much, thanks for your amazing writing and I want you to know that I enjoy it a LOT.

that’s the goal... showing how weird and strange and bizarre izuku is from everyone else’s point of view... i loved the outside pov bc i got the chance to show how much of a cryptid izuku is, something that izuku himself isn’t even aware of and thus would not make it into his pov

Anonymous said: anon who ((still)) hasn't read bnha here. chapter 3 of msa is amazing. i cannot get over the sheer amount of sass found in such a smol boy. also kirishima is quickly becoming my favorite character because of how supportive and caring he is. kirishima/deku is apparently now something to add to my armada of ships. for that i thank you. also i cannot wait for deku to meet spirit!one for all. it will either be glorious or horrible.

haha im always happy to introduce someone to the wonders of kiri/deku!! its an extremely good friendship... and in my professional opinion everyone should get on it and make it the Hot New Thing. as for ofa, ;3c

Anonymous said: I just thought of this but during Aizawa's interrogation I could totally see his spirit just blatantly looking away from Izuku while Aizawa is asking about his benefactor.

HAHA YUP, i love izuku saying all kinds of stuff about spirits and no one can make any sense of it and meanwhile the spirits are trying to tell him to stop. but izuku cannot and will not be stopped from passive aggressively vaguing about them. he WILL get his complaints in if its the last thing he does 

Anonymous said: “I just fixed your entire Quirk, you cabbage.” I'm sorry but this. This is beautiful. I'M GOING TO GO AROUND CALLING PEOPLE CABBAGE NOW

i was worried it was a bit of an overused classic internet insult but this is reassuring :p 

Anonymous said: every word that comes out of MSA Izuku's mouth is a blessing

but not to our three heroes and their intrepid intern sidekick... 

Anonymous said: Shit after the msa chapter i've got so many questions about Kamino. Did the rescue occur the same with minor variations? Is AfO still down? Did All Might fckin die? Has OfA been passed down yet? I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS

im uncreative and unoriginal with canon events so we’ll see.... we’ll see. 

Anonymous said: MSA CHAPTER 4! I just found it today and I'm already rereading it. I did not know how much I needed sassy dead inside izuku. I Love this fic so much! That cliff hanger was so good! I'm so exciting to see more of izuku's pov. I love kiri but like I can't get enough of this izuku and his thoughts and reactions to things. This is so well written. The pacing in chapter 2 was so good. It felt like a heist and then keeping the readers guessing with not knowing if he was gonna get away was so good!

thank you so much!! im really glad you enjoyed the story that much <3 <3 sassy izuku is a pleasure to write honestly, can’t wait to see him more in future chapters 

Anonymous said: Ohhhhhh you should update msa! It's so unbelievably good! I love the interaction between kirishima and izuku! Like I'm so excited to learn more about kamino ward and how that's gonna affect izuku going free and keeping his identy safe

:3c 

Anonymous said: In chalter 2 of the msa au, did Kirishima think anything about how Deku said "I swear to every spirit I know"?

he dismissed it as a kind of weird, niche turn of phrase. like oh, guess this guy believes in spirits and junk, but im more worried about literally every other weird thing he’s done today 

Anonymous said: So does MSA!Izuku always mess with attempts to record his presence? I feel like this would be kind of a major problem when it comes to getting himself a school ID or the like. (He's going to school somewhere, so he must have a school ID stashed somewhere). You know, they could potentially use this to track his identity down. They can try contacting schools to see if any had issues with one student needing to have an excessive number of photo retakes.

nope, usually izuku can keep it under control! the blood sigil on his collarbone is what really let him passively affect the electronics.

Anonymous said: Ok so msa!Izuku says "he shouldn't" exists, and when I first read that I was really confused, do you mean he shouldn't exist in the way that he sees things he shouldn't, or that he literally should not exists and Inko has no freaking clue where he came from/he was not a planned child?

yes to the first proposal. other than that, spoilers... 

[cookinguptales]

So I ended up being so bummed out about the shorts that I neglected to do a write-up for The Lego Batman Movie, which I saw the same day. But TLBM came up like 5 times on my dash today bc bigoted critics are lambasting it for being “pro-gay” so I thought it’d be a good time to talk about how much I enjoyed it! I don’t think I liked it quite as much as the original Lego Movie, but it wasn’t really trying to be the same kind of movie as TLM. It wasn’t quite aiming for that meta angle, and I don’t think it necessarily needed to. It was just a super fun movie -- and one that was really gratifying in some ways to someone who got really burned out on the comics.

Full review and slight spoilers below the cut.

So the basic plot of the movie is what you’d gather from the trailers: Batman (aka Bruce Wayne) is a weird reclusive loner who lives in his giant mansion/bat cave with no one but the butler who raised him, and he has to learn to stop doing shit himself and being such a goddamn asshole. It was kind of nice because he was constantly called out on the stuff that he’s gotten away with doing in a lot of Bat media. Barbara Gordon talking about how he never created lasting institutional/structural solutions to problems, but instead fed his ego by punching poor people felt really good haha. (More on Babs later.) It’s your basic “dickhead has to learn how to use social skills” film, but with a lot of humor and heart that prevents it from getting sappy. And Batman seriously never gets away with his bullshit. He is constantly called on the way he hurts people, and instead of the somewhat shallow lip service that has always been paid to his antihero status, I felt like this film really interacted with those ideas on a hopeful and emotional level. He wasn’t treated like a villain because he was ~dark and brooding~. He was treated like a villain because he went off half-cocked because of his own issues, and because he didn’t care who he hurt in the process. It wasn’t just a story about Batman learning to make friends -- it’s a story about Batman learning to set aside his own ego so he can work together with public officials to create long-term stability and safety for the town he purports to care about. It’s a movie that calls for kindness, compassion, and accountability in crime-fighting -- and in a world torn with debates about increased militarization and police brutality, that’s a conversation that’s pretty damn important.

The audience is there for a comedy, though, and the movie is hilarious. I was cracking up before the movie even technically started, because Batman’s narration and criticism of all the production logos was great. And I basically kept laughing the entire time. The movie pokes loving fun at pretty much every kind of Batman media that exists, from the biggest blockbuster movie to the smallest limited run mini, and there are tons of sly little jokes that will make a comics fan laugh. (No spoilers, but one of the more overt and more hilarious comics jokes was basically the entire Nightwing segment. It is not to be missed.) The characters are all incredibly endearing, especially a shockingly adorable Robin, and I genuinely enjoyed watching them go on their batshit adventures. I won’t give away where the plot goes, but I will say that things just kept escalating until I was impressed (and cracking up) at how bizarre things got. Just really, thoroughly enjoyable. The slapstick humor and mile-a-minute jokes could have gotten old very quickly, but the warmth and heart really helped pull things together.

The interpretations of the characters were all pretty interesting. Robin’s childlike wonder and naivete was really emphasized, whereas Alfred’s RAF background came quickly to the fore. Barbara Gordon was perhaps the most interesting interpretation of them all. As a disabled ex-comics fan, I’ve always had pretty complicated feelings about Barbara and I was nervous going into this. I will say right now that as far as I could tell, there were no real allusions made to Oracle in this film. I am bummed about that. Babs made the transition to Oracle before I was even born, and her journey has been important to me. (But I guess that’s a rant for another day.) But the Barbara that was introduced in TLBM wasn’t really Batgirl, either, despite allusions being made to the moniker. She’s the new commissioner of Gotham City, and she’s strong, fierce, intelligent, and committed to making structural changes to Gotham’s criminal justice system in order to create a safer environment for both Gotham’s innocent citizens and its seedier ones. She refuses to just delegate her duties to Batman, and she believes that things can be so much better than they have been -- and she’ll work hard to accomplish that. Perhaps most striking of all, despite Batman’s obvious infatuation with her, she does not reciprocate his advances. She wants to be his ally and his friend, but she is her own woman. (”If you call me Batgirl, does that mean I can call you Batboy?”) She’s not the protagonist of this film (and after three lego franchise films, they really are due for a female protagonist) but she’s also no sidekick. She advocates for responsibility, but she’s not the ~boring nag~ that female characters are often reduced to. She’s the voice of hope and reason in a culture of toxic masculinity, and Batman has to realize that her ideas are just as important, if not more, than his. She wasn’t Oracle, but I found that I still ended up really loving this version of Barbara.

Finally, all that gay shit! As I said, Batman has an obvious crush on Barbara. But he definitely has an overtly homoerotic relationship with the Joker, too. Their foemance is constantly put in terms of a relationship, with the main thrust of the plot being inspired by the Joker wanting Batman to pay more attention to him and treasure him as his most important adversary -- frankly, the Joker wants to be Batman’s most important person. I was tickled to find after I got home that I was not the only person that half-expected a kiss in one of their final tension-laden scenes. If Batman had to grow to appreciate his family (re: Robin and Alfred) and his political allies (re: Barbara), he also had to grow to appreciate the Joker, and perhaps in a more heated and intimate way than any of the others. It really is a story about their relationship, strange as that sounds. It’s not a canon gay pairing. Batman has a thing for Barbara, and the Joker and Harley are a (remarkably healthy and cute) item. But damn if it’s not basically rolling around in all that subtext. It’s the kind of film a fanficcer would have a field day with, frankly. There’s a lot of room for exploration. (Basically, if you like Kate Beaton’s Nemesis comics, you’ll like the Batman/Joker relationship in this film.)

Hilariously, the other potential pairing in this film is Bruce Wayne/Batman. It’s never directly stated, but I’m pretty sure Robin thought they were a thing for much of the movie. He definitely thought he was being co-parented by the two of them. And he was psyched! Robin loved having two dads! He went from having no dads to two dads! (“It’s raining dads!”) Like there is zero judgment from anyone about the concept of Robin having two adoptive fathers, even though it was never explicitly stated that people thought his two fathers were dating. (Related -- I kind of want to write fic about the Bruce/Batman that people lowkey thought was going on.) Like both of his dads were shitty, but that was clearly portrayed as a Batman thing, not a gay parenting thing. The film actually had strong messages about the importance of adoption, both by exploring Batman’s relationship with his new son and by exploring Alfred’s relationship with Batman.

tl;dr, the fundies aren’t crazy. The movie is definitely homoerotic and pro-gay parenting. AND I LOVED THAT.

Anyway, overall I really enjoyed the movie. It wasn’t the deepest film in the world, but it was really, really fun. I liked the plot and the characters and the jokes were great. There’s a lot there for both the passing fan of Batman and the superfans who’ve read comics for years. And frankly, it’s the kind of modern film that the franchise has needed for a while. It dissects some of the messages that have been put forth in many of the movies and comics that have starred Batman (and that have made him popular amongst angry wannabe grimdark vigilante dudes for decades) and shows why they’re actually quite dangerous on both a personal and societal level. Really good film.

[kiddshopp]

Why do you make packs of things that aren't kid friendly? Like oruan high school host club or assians creed? That should probably not he on a kid friendly blog? Not tying to be mean I really don't understand

Two reasons (kind of more like three):

1. (the shorter reason to explain) The age-regressor community contains a lot of people who, in additions to being age-regressors, are also fictionkin or fictives (someone who identifies as a fictional character or an alter in a system who originated as a fictional character, respectively), with their source material not being child-friendly things. Being that they may well be associated with media that is Not Child Friendly (e.g. Assassin’s Creed or Dragon Age, two games whose characters I can remember making posts for), the goal in those posts is to take something that would be associated with those characters that is child-friendly (IIRC the Assassin’s Creed character also cited that they liked pirate/nautical things because that fit in with the character’s theme in the game, and there’s plenty of kid-friendly stuff around those themes. For the Dragon Age one, I also believe I included a bunch of things that I thought would have appealed to the character when they were a child - like, things they would have used in their context in their childhood. The vast most of characters that exist and that someone can thus be kin/fictive with/of were once children, after all.) If you’re not familiar with the concept of fictionkin then I can attempt to explain that or link to explanatory posts or something, but I wanted to keep this portion of the answer fairly brief. And of course not everyone who asks for things relating to media like that is doing so because they’re one of the characters for it, but there are requesters who make requests that explicitly state they are, or they phrase the message in ways that, because of my personal way of running this blog, get translated to things FOR that character as opposed to necessarily OF them.

2a. Lots of people associate different things with their regression. Given that age-regressors are not physically children, they can be (safely) exposed to things that are Not Child Friendly and be aware of those things when they regress. That means that technically they can have things associated with their regression that an Actual Child wouldn’t be able to associate with their current state of childhood. (I’m of course making the assumption that said child wasn’t significantly exposed to anything Not Child Friendly during their childhood; I’ve known strangely large numbers of people who associate movies like Eraserhead and Pink Floyd: The Wall with their childhood and nostalgia because they were shown them as children. For those people, those Not Child Friendly things would be legitimately associated with childhood, even if they aren’t suitable for kids.) But anyway, some people associate Not Child Friendly things with their experience of child regression, either because the thing makes them happy and happiness makes them regress, the world a fantasy story takes place in is more appealing than the setting the person lives/lived in so they have childlike fantasies about it, there might be a child or child-friendly character in the thing in question so they associate that child character with childhood, the medium reminds them of child-y things (e.g. cartoons or anime that aren’t child-friendly being associated with age-regression bc of their medium, OHSHC is an example due to its medium), etc. 

(Weird personal example that you can completely skip but that I wrote because it gives an actual example of something Not Child Friendly that hits most of the above points and because I can analyze it in depth due to it being my thing: I more-than-a-little-bit associate the Hellraiser movies with age-regression despite them not being remotely suitable for children. In my case, it’s because I like that series a lot so it makes me feel extremely happy, which tends to make me age-regress; a lot of people report age-regression brought on by specific emotions, such as happiness. I don’t feel happiness a lot which is why more things don’t make me regress like that. I also have some really extensive headcanons/semi-confirmed-by-canon things about the movie that basically state that even though the demon-like characters who used to be humans now literally live in a Hell Dimension, that dimension is preferable to the lives they’d previously been living so even though it’s a pretty messed-up thing, there’s something really child-ly satisfying about thinking of a fantasy where people can run away to another world that, while also being bad, doesn’t have the specific bad things that made their own world miserable. Yeah, I consume very little media that has actual desirable settings. Also, one of the characters - the one called Chatterer, if you were curious and knew about the movies and wanted to know who from the movies I’m talking about - is a child, or at least can be argued to be one, because spoiler warning they went to the Hell world when they were a child and in one of the movies where the demon-like characters are turned back into humans, Chatterer turns into a human child despite having been played by an adult until then, so I see them and go “yay fellow child”. Again, kinda messed-up but that’s what my brain does. I turned this tangent into its own paragraph because I realized that’s how long it had gotten and it’s completely skippable.)

2b. There’s a surprisingly large number of child-friendly items and merch available for some Not Child Friendly media. With some things, you can get official action figures or plushes or other toys of the characters, even if those toys weren’t made for children (it’s still a type of thing that Actual Children use). Mainstream example: a lot of people think Star Wars isn’t suitable for children (or younger children anyway), but loads of Star Wars merchandise aimed at Actual Children exists. Some of the things that exist for Not Child Friendly media, while not aimed for kids directly, are still cute and therefore something a child might like (example: any time someone requests something relating to an anime, I usually find cute keychains and stuff depicting the characters, because those are a thing apparently. You can get cute anime characters on practically anything, it seems, even if the anime is Not Child Friendly but the type of item is.) And a lot of people (on Etsy or Redbubble or stuff, two sites I use a lot) create things relating to Not Child Friendly media that are still appealing to children (e.g. cute or cool posters/stickers/plushes/clay models/etc. of characters from things that aren’t considered child-friendly media). So that’s basically how it’s possible to make posts about media that isn’t suitable for kids but that contains items that would be suitable for Actual Kids.

I didn’t read your message as at all mean, it was honestly a good question that I imagine at least some other people were wondering as well. It’s less that this blog is 100% child-friendly for Actual Children PER SE but more that it’s geared towards those who are physically teenagers or adults but experience childhood nonetheless in some way, whatever that looks like for them.

Also I rly hope you ddn’t take the length of the responses to mean that I was upset and lecturing you or aything, because I wasn’t. I just get Really Really Really Wordy whenever I try to explain something that has more than a few sentences’ worth of a short answer and that I can give some examples to explain. Hope this explains it all!

[voxplusherizes]

April Ramble: Eye Troubles, Hair Uncertainties, and Doll Instanity

I’m gonna try to do a monthly update about stuff from now on.

So, Lots of stuff has happened. and at the same time lots of stuff ...hasn’t...happened.

Eyes:

I’ve finished Erasii’s mouth and right eye. However, my confidence with dealing with resin came back to bite me in the ass. Severl years ago, i tried to start a project where i would make large plushes (like Erasii’s size with a wildly different pattern) or all the remnants and i started with Azur. I didn’t get past sewing the arms and legs, and thats because i started on the eyes right away. I used the exact same methode as this time: sculpt an eye from polymer clay, make a mold, cast the eye dome, attach a photo of the eye behind it. Simple. easy. Lmao. Nope. I recall casting three eyes and every one of the had bubbles. every one of them was cloudy. one was very sticky. I gave up back then, and the project was since abandoned.

Until two weeks ago, where I thought i’d done enough research to know how to do it right. Except i forgot that resin has a fuckin vendetta against me i swear to god.

The first eye attempt developed holes at the dome, aka: the front of the eye. This irritated me because when i poured the resin, it was super clear for two hours before i checked it and suddenly: a fuckton of bubbles. I havn’t no idea where they came from. So i tried again (also tried to cover the first attempt in more resin after pokeing holes to the bubbles, which.....ended poorly.) and poured another cast. i watched this version religiously, and it was amazeingly clear! I thought it went perfect.....until i went to check if i could remove it after four days of letting it cure and it was still completely liquid. two extra days did nothing. Evidently, I did not stir it properly enough (i call bullshit, i stirred for three minutes. i timed it.) and i had to scoop the resin into the trash and clean the mold. by far the most agaonizeing part of this one was that it was still completely bubbleless like w h y must u hurt me.

By this point, I’m incredibly irritated. Whenever I get the measureing and stirring correct, my cast developes bubbles for no damn reason. whenever my cast doesn’t develope bubbles, it doesn’t cure. I have browsed forum after forum, video after video, did every trick i could find, fallowed the instructions to the T. and still, my resin has failed to turn out.

I am torn, honestly. I am so pissed at my inability to cast resin properly that i’m determined to keep trying to get it right. but at the same time, i’m wasteing resin and not making any imporvments. on the other side, My mom has a coworker who owns a jewlery buiseness with her husband and most of their peices use a really nice clear casting material. I’m wondering if I could ask them if they’d be willing to make me a complete eye as a commission. I havn’t any idea how they make their casts, however (i assume molds, but not sure) so i’m not sure. i’m also unsure if their casting material is a type of glass. I’ll ask about the durability of the material, and keep it as an option if everything else fails.

I currently have a third eye in the mold. i havn’t checked it since i poured it. i’m scared to, thb. i don’t want to be dissapointed.

Dragon:

On a more lighthearted note, If yall rememeber my dragon pattern from a while ago, i started on that plush. Originally i was just going to work on it until i got the rest of the stuff to finish erasii, but since his eye is taking forever and i havn’t been able to get the yarn to the correct length for his hair, i’ve gotten a lot of it done. the wings and batting inside are completely done (witht he exception of turning and sewing the finger details+stuffing) which was the largest part of the project. I started working ont he gold tail decor but i need to pull out an entire side since the peice didn’t match up properly. i was going to leave it, but i dont want her to look ugly int he end so about two hours of sewing earlier are down the drain Lol.

Hair:

Returning to Erasii, for more bad news, I’ve decided I can’t use yarn for his hair. i can’t get it long enough. I also can’t make a wig for him like i wanted to try, because i forgot his horns existed. Instead, i’ve decided to order saran hair. This....doesn’t sit well with me. I was going to try wefts this time, but i dont feel comfortable attching them dirrectly to his head. but i havn’t any idea how else to attach them either. i was thinking maybe glueing? or somehow sewing the hair directly into the head? the bangs and sides are the main ones i want to look nice since the back of erasii’s head is litterally just A Mess of short hair. I dunno. i’m ordering a crapton of hair, so we’ll see what i can do when i have it in my hands.

Dolls:

I’ve made the mistake of watching doll customizations. and i wanted to do one. except i couldnt make up my mind, and now i have three planned whoOPS

The first one is Pumpkin Pie, a pumpkin themed girl I want to make arund halloween. I have an orange body thats faceless and lacking hair bc it was from a create your own monster kit. she’s the perfect starter.

The second one was the original one i wanted to make, Nyoul. My little girly boy with a taste for cupcakes and human flesh. He was the reason i first went through the way-too-big box of dolls my mom and i bought years ago (over 500 dollars worth like srsly.) to find a duplicate to tear apart. but surpriseingly, we didn’t have any duplicates. We have three frankies, yeah, but they were all different versions, so i didn’t feel comfortable tearing any of them apart. Most unfortunately, this conundrum gave me time to lament, during which time i keep peeking at my Gooliope. She’s 17 inchs high, and i loved that size. I didn’t dare ruin her (she’s by far my favorite) so i kept an eye out for other 17 inchers. And as luck would have it, while stopping by toys r’ us the other day, I noticed one in the clearence bin. orignally 30bucks, dropped down to 15. not bad. the reason for this was because the doll (a clawdeen) was a little bit damaged. both her ears have broken bits and theres a lots of weird plastic at the seems. not so good for a child, a miracle gift from the doll gods for me. i expected to feel a little guilty buying a doll away from a potential kid, but because this one is damaged, i don’t. parents would have told a little girl to put this one back and grab another one anyway, so no harm in giving this little misfit a home x3

There are some....drawbacks, however.

Nyoul already requided heavy modification (ie: tiddy-be-gone) and now he needs even more. I was originally aiming for a frankie, since she has a lighter skin tone and no ears, since my concept for Nyoul has him as very pale. this is because his outfit will have a lot of color and having his skin be near-white would allow them to pop like on a canvase. he’s also aupposed to look like a doll, but also sickly. Cute, but not quite right. I’m going to have to cut off the ears (and boobs), and then repaint the entire body. I do feel.....gross, about doing that. it feels insulting and wrong. But if i’m going to put all this effort into makeing him, why shouldn’t i make him completely what I want?

on the upside of workin on him, I get to make a prop eventually! I love doing that! he carries a big-ass axe and long scissors.

Nyoul’s going to be a very long project. This is why I want to finish both Erasii AND the dragon before i even start him. So Clawdeen’s just chilling with her deformities for a couple of weeks Lol.

And lastly.....my ball joint doll.

Years ago, i purched a ball joint doll from someone used. I’ve always loved ball joints, but they were all too expensive. I was so excited to have a BJD at last, i developed an entire design for her that sadly failed to come to be. I had a lot of trouble as a newbie seamstress back then that i eventually gave up, and tossed her into my closet for a few....years.

and then i took her out of the closet and put her in the attic for several more years. I rescued her afew days ago, and i feel super guilty. I never even put her pants or shirt back on!

I dislike the original design i had for her, so i’ve been trying to think of what to transform her into. I was thinking about a demon popstar, so i could make horns and wings and a tail, but....her face doesn’t fit. she has a very serene sad face, lidded eyes. I’m not sure if i could paint her face to make her look more evil or mischevious or a diva. I really want to try tho. I might have to save it for another 17 incher monster high tho. i keep seeing the popstar design with highheels and my BJD has flat feet. and I can’t order new ones because they’re expensive and also i have no idea what modle doll i even have so whoops.

if i do move ahead with that idea tho, i’ve taken inspiration from Sia and Lady Gaga (and Billy Joe Cobra if i’m being embarisingly honest) especially witht he hair idea. a boxy neck length thats pure white on top, but each later under is a different color of the rainbow with some rainbow bangs. She’d also have sunglasses, piercings, tattoos, long fake nails....just so much stuff.

But its a long way before i’m confident to even try to work on her. just holding her makes me scared i’m gonna break her. (even tho i kinda already did, accidentally had to restring her legs bc i dropped a string trying to take her head off.)

Her time in the closet and attic seem to have done something to her faceup. I’ve been struggleing for the past three days to remove it (bc i want to repaint her and also the colors were ugly and she has a stupid little tear on her cheek) useing everything i could. I tried acetone first (i did a test ont he inside of the headcap to see if it’d hurt the resin) and it did absolutely nothing. so then i tried rubbing alcohol, and again nothing. i tried a magic eeraser which finally worked, but not well. i don’t want to try to buy anything else, so i’ve been dealing witht he magic eraser. i’ve nearly removed everything besides the lips, and i honestly don’t think i’m gonna be getting that lip color out of there. I’ve tried to shove some eraser into there and scrub with a toothpick and it did not do anything. I was planning on coloring her lips a dark color anyway, so meh. bonus shadeing.