#and its way more interesting than any 'look ALL of the gods are evil actually!!!!' narrative people have been hoping for/reading into this

[balleater]

nothing brings me more joy than people talking about how fucking stupid ludinus is

[the-moon-files]

Aaaaa yay, you updated for Linked Universe again! 🙏 And right when the hyperfixation was coming back for me, too 👀 

I was looking over your posts for LU, and if you don’t mind, I’d love to share some of my own random thoughts with you! I hope that’s okay 👉👈

After I read your “Humans aren't just round-eared Hylians?” post I have had,, many thoughts 👀 One random difference between humans and Hylians I thought about was the possibilities of varying strength,,, You briefly mentioned how Hylians seemed lighter than they seemed to Guide!Reader, and let me tell you, it was such a small detail, but I was transFIXED. I have this image of humans/Guide!Reader just being naturally stronger than the average Hylians - and it made me think of scenarios of the Reader just effortlessly hauling around two Links on their shoulders like sacks of potatoes- And them also picking up things that are supposed to be really heavy with ease! Like, Four would make a longsword, and Reader picks it up out of curiosity, expecting it to be really heavy, but it’s actually not that bad?? (Four in the background: 🧍)

If the Reader is already pretty strong (and maybe even has a profession in fighting, like a boxer or something,, [I might be projecting slightly—]), then ooo 👀 I can see there being this one time where a bunch of monsters ambush the Chain, and as everyone is fighting with the Reader giving them advice and whatnot, a Lizalfos managed to slip past everyone and sprint towards the Reader to attack them. The others are panicking because they won’t be able to reach the monster in time, but just as the Lizalfos raised its sword, one single punch from the Reader sent it flying back into the fray, knocking it into a Moblin. Reader is just standing there with their fist still in the air like “👁️👄👁️ h u h … whY ARE YOU GUYS STARING, YOU’RE STILL FIGHTING—”

In your newest post about the Guide!Reader’s voice, you mentioned how some entities could hear them, and I don’t know if he would, but I think it’d be kinda funny if Ganon and all of his other reincarnations could hear the Reader talking to Link- I’m not sure if he remembers his past lives, but if he does and hears/recognises Reader’s voice, I love the image of him thinking “Oh god, THIS guy again??” Because Reader WILL clown on him-

Dehydrated Ganondorf: *insert evil monologue here*

Guide!Reader: Uh-huh, sure, bold words for someone whose skin looks like a prehistoric riverbed. :|

Sage: *w he eze*

As I was writing all this, I had to think to myself, “Huh,, Guide!Reader doesn’t die when they fall into lava, aren’t really affected by harsher temperatures and winds, and also can swim against strong currents. They’re environment-resistant basically. But there’s bound to be at least one weakness to it all, right?” I did come up with said weakness, and I think it’s kinda basic, BUT one idea I had was that because Guide!Reader is so resistant to the natural elements of Hyrule, they are conversely quite weak to unnatural causes in turn. If they get injured, say they get cut with a knife by a Bokoblin, then that wound would take much longer to heal than it should. Any injuries that the Reader sustains in Hyrule are harder to heal (which I feel like could make some interesting angst,, 👀); their injuries would take more magic to completely heal them, or have more healing potions to drink. I also thought of the Reader being very vulnerable to any sort of poison- Like, if they get a pinch or two (or three) of strong poison in their system, they get knocked out for like two days 💀 

So basically, Guide!Reader is very resistant to the environment, possibly quite strong, but does not have any good constitution,,

[On another note, maybe it’s just a me thing, but I personally love the thought of Wind looking up to the Reader as like a big brother figure,,]

And also!! Happy birthday!! 🥳🥳🎉 As a way of procrastination, I’ve been compiling memes with Guide!Reader and the Chain because the brain rot is hitting HARD,, I can share it with you in the future if you like! /gen /pos And sorry if this is such a long post dkjfgndf-

NOT SOMEONE BEING HAPPY I UPDATED UwU

ur ideas, ur compliments, ur bday wishes, etc. hitting me like^^

Sun: Masc!Reader (he/him) this will be default unless ppl specify otherwise! , Guide!Reader, Boxer/Martial Artist!Reader

Orbit: Headcanons-ish

Stars: Most Links of the Chain mentioned + Sage (Totk Link)! No focus/centric Link

Comets & Meteors: Content Warnings: light cussing, & Trigger Warnings: none known.

Please comment if I missed any. /gen

In reference to This Post! Wait, Humans Aren’t just Round-Eared Hylians??

YOUR BRAIN>>>????!!!

This was such a yummy treat tysm for this, sharing is caring 🫶

I absolutely think Humans could be 10x stronger than Hylians, I mean if we base everything abt their universe off of Link weighing ~8 apples lmao

that means swords, armor, broadswords/claymores, battle axes, huge shields, if those weigh abt like fake swords/wooden ones back on earth to us, then i cant even imagine what canons/horses/tree trunks/boulders weigh 💀

like props on a stage weight rather than the real thing lmao

No but how many Links can you fit in one carry??

ok u got a heavier Link on your back, like Time, Twi or Wars, then Four/Wind/Hyrule/Legend (yes he’s light/smaller side, tho he may deny) in ur arms like one Link per arm, maybe 3 Links if you can like wrap ur arms around them

so like 4 Links total? well, Wind or Four r so light/small one could possibly ride on ur shoulders, so 5 LMAO??? that's like half the Chain already AHALJFAfJLL-

on another note,

I LOVEEE ganon being able to hear Guide Reader bc spent too long around them, also i originally based that off of characters who’ve shown they're meta/highly magical kinda (esp the meta part where they may have directly addressed players/broke 4th wall)

No bc Ganon would just be SO fed up by like, Wild’s time, it would literally be EXACTLY like what u said I’d imagine:

(u just playing the game and not realizing until later they can hear you)

Ganon: “ugh that blonde twink again, god when will this plan actually work-?!”

You: “eyyy, Ganon! omg, why’s he?? Hot??? damn, botw best ganon version fr”

Ganon: “you know what maybe you should just kill me right now, hero Link.”

(the thought of Ganon never being able to escape ur voice whenever Link was near him bc u didnt have a body to fight/kill, and instead he just had to deal with ur comments is SENDING ME)

changing subjects again sorry

YES!! that's the weakness/drawback I was thinking abt for Humans in Hyrule, while yes their environment isn't that effective on us, (i like to use “inside a video game” as the reason bc i think its neat)

humans are notoriously fragile in our own world already - we get sick, we get acid-reflux/throw up from bad food/food poisoning, etc.

so it makes sense we’d be more sensitive to this new environment, but even if we got adjusted,

we’re more external-proof, not internal-proof

(u know that's another reason why it works for Hylians and not Humans, we aren’t automatically healed by food, but their world does, and even in botw/totk when u have “dubious” food, its never inedible, its just useless to eat, so technically Hylians can kind of eat most anything off of that logic, like there is no such thing as “bad food” for them)

and u could take this either way tbh,

like we’re either entirely resistant to magic/dont take to it well bc our world didnt have it so potions/fairies don't work and we have to heal naturally

or just yeah, its like ur in a new country tbh, new germs/nature/food/etc. and u def cant guarantee u wont get a little sick from that

this would definitely include genuine poison!

bro the amount of WORRY the Links would feel after realizing the human guide guy who’s physically here now can barely handle their food??

Wild’s making a thorough list of what foods work for you and what don't, like safe foods to go back on, including recipes,

the way Time/Wars would absolutely be willing to take little detours/stop by towns more to make sure you have the right food you can eat,

and even tho Wild’s cooking, Sage is constantly testing for poison, like the dish itself, the herbs/plants, every ingredient needs to be extra safe even by Hylian standards (like not eating adventurous stuff like pufferfish or smth that could possibly have poison if cooked wrong/not enough etc)

that is to say, even if Wild makes a new recipe/other meal, he always has a backup safe meal to give you instead on those nights, and just way too many in general (yes he knows it doesn't buff ur health but he cant help his Hylians instincts to stuff the hurt person’s face with food ok??)

Hyrule! Is!! Losing!!! It!!!!

he has all the healing magic in the world and the one man he wants to help the most, for keeping him from being lonely on his adventure/looking out for him/being on his side no matter what, now he finds out he can’t even help them??

mans would literally keep trying to heal u til he’s drained it all out to just try and get the wound to close, if u didnt stop him

U get injured for the first time, and while a bruise/cut taking weeks to heal (depending on how bad) is normal to you, Hyrule + lowkey everyone is Freaking Out

Wounds DO NOT take weeks to heal?? They take hours at most??? Dude, are you dying-

(Wind got elbowed for that one, purely bc he voiced Sky/Hyrule/Wild/Twi paranoia out loud lol)

that is going with the version ur mostly unaffected by magic, but u could also do the human thing where we get adjusted to things over time (at least more than nothing), including food/sickness

The way All the Links just surround you or outright don’t let you come into crowded parts of town so ur poor immune system wont make u sick again 😭

on the bright side they'd all get rlly good at preventative measures like this, and taking care of sick you lol

(yes, u bribed Wind to get little bro cuddles when ur sick, it wasn't hard, he sees u as the most genuine bigger bro probably bc ur likely hte most affectionate out of all the Links)

(should I get into cultural differences between humans/hylians like humans being more openly cuddly/affectionate? like how in humans are space orcs fandom they acknowledge its unusual for us to “packbond” so easily to so many different species? and how this could possibly apply to not only Hylians but any Friend-shaped creatures across the Hyrules?? ..nah. I’ll save that for another post)

AND YES!! feel free to shoot rambles/thoughts/not even requests my way! Id love to talk abt it or just post it for the world to marvel at too lol

ohh mY God;; YOU HAVE MEMES FOR THIS?? PLEASEEEE SHOW ME????

thank you for this, srsly /pos

Peace out,

🌙

[burningcheese-merchant]

When Burning Spice was introduced a lot of people made comparison with Capsaicin, and even thought they were related. You have any thoughts on that?

I do, and you're all probably going to be very disappointed lol

Not only do I NOT vibe with the idea that they're related, I'm actually really annoyed that it's as popular as it is lol. It doesn't even make sense. Burning Spice was in prison for thousands of years; when, where and how did he have a kid? At what point in time did this occur? Capsaicin is a young man. A regular mortal, outside of his "Spice Overlord" thing. I ask you all again: when? Where? How? WHY? Has anyone ever actually thought this through?

"ThEy LoOk SiMiLaR" okay, and? So fucking what? Neither of them own the concept of "long hair" or "muscles" or "sharp teeth". Pitaya has those too, and he has an arguably more substantial connection to Capsaicin because they're actually from the same fucking area. Happenstance. Lots of characters in this game have similar attributes, that doesn't necessarily mean anything

"ThEy'Re BoTh SpIcY" Refer to point A. Do you all think all the nut-based cookies are related, too? That's the logic you might as well be operating on. Correlation is not causation

"Blah blah both go 2 jail" you know how many characters in this wack-ass phone game count as felons, bro? How many of them SHOULD count as felons lol? The Cookie Run universe might as well be one giant Alcatraz with all the shit these little affronts to God get up to every day, I ain't making them all each other's relatives because of it

They're the wrong ages for them to be family. Burning Spice was serving a life sentence since long before Capsaicin was even thought of, he literally got out after the guy was already a grown ass man. They're not even from the same fucking CONTINENT! Capsaicin has probably never even HEARD of Beast-Yeast! Even that little comic the CRK Twitter account posted makes fun of all this shit!!! The Wild Spices mistake Cap for Spice from behind, and then get confused when he turns around because THEY VERY CLEARLY DO NOT KNOW WHO HE IS AND HAVE NEVER SEEN HIM BEFORE! Wouldn't an army know if their general had a son, even if it was only mentioned in passing? Wouldn't THIS army have a vested interest in having their general's son around if he existed, and stop at nothing to bring him home should he vanish, to gain favor with Spice and because of how powerful Capsaicin is and how useful he could be to them?

I wouldn't be so bent out of shape about all this if it wasn't LITERALLY FUCKING EVERYWHERE!!! I cannot enjoy any content of Burning Spice OR Capsaicin without having to endure a fucking barrage of "hurr durr father and son" posts!!! I just want to ogle my hot, sexy, deliciously evil spice man BY HIM-FUCKING-SELF in peace, I never asked to have to hear the exact fucking same "hi son I came back with the milk" joke over and over and over again

I know I sound like a massive dick right now and I'm truly sorry. You are more than welcome to think of these two as related in some way if you wish. I am not your mother, nor your leader, nor your god, I'm just some cringe loser on the internet. Enjoy this game and its characters in whatever way you choose. I even actually like a good bit of the father/son art, a lot of it is cute and funny. I'm able and willing to say that with complete sincerity.

I just wish I didn't have to feel like it's being forced on me. That is one of the biggest issues I have with this fandom: how oppressive it often feels. You MUST ship this particular pairing, you MUST headcanon these characters as family, you MUST take this one-off joke that was clearly just a goddamn joke and preach it 24/7/365 like it's the gospel truth that Devsis themselves wrote on stone tablets and delivered from the top of Mount Sinai. And then when someone doesn't want to do that, everyone else descends upon them like a plague of fucking locusts. I actually saw a Dad Spice + Son Cap post on here with the person who made it saying something like "ok since everyone agrees that these two are family [...]" and I just got so fucking irritated. No, actually, not everyone agrees. Not everyone agrees on a lot of the fanon that's shoved down the entire community's throats on a regular basis. PLEASE stop acting like they do. I still remember when people would get flat-out harassed for not acting like Herb is Sea Fairy's son (old ass drama lol).

Say what you will about me, I'm just one person and you can block me or whatever dumb tags I use for my dumb shit. There is NOWHERE I can go to avoid this. Twitter? Plagued. Tumblr? Plagued. Even fucking reddit is on this nonsense (only in my personal opinion). But that's what I get for acknowledging Reddit in any capacity lol

I shall once again sincerely apologize for my harsh tone here, I am not attacking you personally or anyone who headcanons these two as relatives. I am just generally, profoundly frustrated and I need to get it out. I appreciate you taking the time to ask me an honest question, I hope you can forgive me for my painfully honest answer

[multi-bookworm]

Why does nobody in this universe want to learn Greek like me :( making me sad, and bored, so I've made a list of all THE BENEFITS TO LEARNING GREEK:

1. The writing is really sexy. For example, even saying "you are a fish with a large forehead" looks beautiful

είσαι ένα ψάρι με μεγάλο μέτωπο

(even insulting someone is now gorgeous)

2. You could read Homer's odyssey or iliad with much less confusion since it will make more sense in the original language. Also you seem smarter reading the iliad or odyssey.

3. You seem really cool, this honestly comes with learning any new language, but Greek is connected to English, making it easier to learn, often, despite its complexity.

3. Understanding English itself will be easier since a large amount of the english language stems from Greek, as well as Latin, but Latin writing isn't quite as sexy (my own personal opinion, this is probably just because it is so similar to English, which is boring to me)

4. It is still spoken, as opposed to learning Latin, a dead language, making it easier to learn since you are more likely to have a conversation in it with somebody else.

5. The alphabet is interesting, as all foreign languages are, but the use of certain letters, how there are two different s's, three different i's and two different o's.

6. Interesting etymological origins from words. Some words came from myths, such as the man Narcissus, and particularly my favourite is when something is καλλίπυγος (Callipygious) which originated from an association with Aphrodite calling her Aphrodite Kallipygos, as well as roman reference of callipygian Venus. Callipygian means "one with/of beautiful buttocks," which I find to be quite hilariously accurate in addition to the common reference to Aphrodite in this manner.

7. If none of this enticed anybody and you dont think youll even go to greece so why bother, here are many things in Greece worth seeing:

A) THE MUSEUM IN ATHENS: multiple museums in Athens houses more history than the British Museum (that's saying a lot) with 11,000 artefacts in just the Natural Archaeological Museum in Athens alone (the British Museum has only 2,000 artefacts). Unlike many societies, they docked down much of what they did very early on so we have so much unscripted and crazy history from the Greeks alone in writing, and even moreso in their abundance of beautiful, detailed art. Even if you hate the Greeks (every country has done some bad things) it's still worth checking out the museums there just for historical knowledge and context, it will teach you a lot, i promise you that.

B) THE COASTAL WATERS: just look at the Mediterranean water, does that NOT make you want to jump in??

C) there are cats everywhere, particularly in Crete.

D) there are thousands of sites related to greek myths such as: the cave and temple of the Oracle of Delphi, which actually existed, and are still sometimes praised to Apollo today; Mount Olympus, the largest mountain in greece and worth a climb; the site where the Spartan Society thrived (my favourite society of all time, whom you should seriously check out here if you do not know already, if you do know... you should check it out also bc Weird History in yt really explains it accurately and in such a cool way).

E) greek culture. An ancient custom is to be kind to travellers, which was a belief that the traveller could be a God in disguise, so one always must treat them like a king and invite them into their home. (Again, this was an ancient custom, I'm not sure how prominent it would still be but it is a nice thought and the general public say that Greeks, particularly rural, are the loveliest people you will meet, for they have the strongest connection to this culture.) If you see blue roofs in greece this was a cultural belief as well, thought that rhat particular shade of blue would ward off evil spirits and protect the home from disease and impurity. Greece's long history of celebrated gods which are now well known worldwide through the many tales told about them and worship in their names.

If you still aren't enticed, that's okay, I am not offended, I'm just passionate I hope I didn't hurt anybody's feelings, and pls tell me if i have offended anyone who is greek themselves, because I am not greek, just heavily in love with your culture, so pls do correct me. Have a lovely day everybody :>

[roughentumble]

God. I bet Logan gets really bad domdrop. He'll finish a scene and get real quiet and then softly asks, "Babe, am I bad person?"

GOD. LITERALLY ABSOLUTELY SOOOOOO TRUEEEEEE

because he's always at war with his desires and his impulses and he tries to act very Human, like he doesnt /hate/ being a mutant and there are parts he embraces, but he also tends to hide/downplay those sides and only bring them out when he WANTS to shock someone. he contains multitudes. he's like, big on how others perceive him and will play into that intentionally in order to get the social upper hand by not presenting exactly how you'd expect, either being more or less animalistic than his apperance and your own biases would lead you to think.

im getting a little off topic but it is related! despite all that he is scared of being Too Other, Too Freak, Too Beast, Too Animal, Too Mindless. is he too violent? can he put down the violence, will the world let him? is he only made to be a weapon? what would others think of him, if they saw all the instincts he fights against? is he the instincts he fights, or is he the thinking man who wrestles with them?

all questions he struggles with, so any scene-- but extremely and especially a scene where he's mean or violent-- is going to bring those questions back up in his head until he's found a way to settle them and accept himself. i love the idea of wade and logan going out into the woods to dismember and gut each other, and then fuck in the bloody aftermath while their bodies are still knitting together, but logan is still trying to cling to normalcy and humanity enough that it would cause MAJOR domdrop once they were done. he'd be nauseous over what he got pleasure out of doing to another person, because doesnt that just confirm every evil thing ever said about him? while wade doesnt have the same reservations, because he's made peace with his own violence, and is much easier able to compartmentalize what theyre doing here as their version of "playing" because they can both take it. logan has absolutely no desire to dismember someone who cant grow back from it(or even if he does have the urge to do so with people who wont heal, the fact that they wont heal stays his hand and makes the thought repulsive even when the urge to do so with SOMEONE remains), so clearly this doesnt say anything bad about logan, to wade. clearly logan is just someone to the left of human who has inhuman urges and has no interest in sating them with the blood of innocents, he's just a Guy. its Fine. but logan isnt able to see that distinction in himself, and really struggles with feeling like a monster

he needs a lot of TLC and gentle introspection to get over it, and even after he's dealt with it there will be times where he looks over at wade and needs to know. did i hurt you too badly? am i bad because i want to hurt you? am i a monster? could you ever love me when i have your blood in my teeth?

then there's the "dont touch me, im a fucking monster" days where he starts breathing heavy and getting in his own head, and he needs to be talked to nice and sweet, reminded of how happy it makes wade and how he isnt alone in their games. he isnt bad for being an aggressor. because that's what it comes down to, being the aggressor feels like an evil tainted role when its him, but obviously its not bad when WADE is hurting HIM-- a flaw in his logic that he cant see when he's in the moment and panicking and feeling like utter crap

logan getting domdrop is actually something that can be so personal

[notebooks-and-laptops]

Hi!! I absolutely love your analysis on Veilguard, and I also love Sten, so how do you think he would fit in the game? What would his presence change? Like you said, it could give us a sympathetic point of view on the Qun (and maybe some Taash and Sten interactions?)

HELLO its been a while since you sent this but please know I've been thinking about it near constantly and have finally pulled my thoughts together into something coherent. I have a couple of 'options'; one involves the game basically maintaining the same quality but being a tad better rounded for the qunari, the other is if they actually took Sten and all he represents seriously.

Option one: Faction Leader

Look so here is the thing. There is no reason why the game, as is, could not incorporate a 'Qun' faction. It would actually be really fun; I've wanted to play as a member of the Qun since DA2 and I know so many of us have Qun headcanons for our Adaar or their parents. Unlike the other backgrounds that seem to be more suited to particular races, the Qun is literally a state/religion/philosophy and thus any race could be a member (we know for certain plenty of elves defect to the qun and I'm sure humans and dwarfs do as well). (I do think this faction would need to seriously consider whether or not it allows for a 'mage' class, because it would be a lot of work to explain why a Saraabas is allowed to just be walking about. They could pose it as their mage came into their powers late and when they were found out immediately left with Varric, but thats the only way I could see it not being a potential pressure point)

Sten thus slots into the game here as a faction leader; he is the Arishock. We see a different side to the Qun; those antam who did not leave it behind. We get to hang out with some Ben'Hassrath as well. In my ideally world the other faction leader in this scenrio would be Tallis, who has regained her place within the Qun (but I'm biased because I'm in love with Tallis). But you could also have Gatt because I think he's quite an interesting character, would call Neve out on being Tevinter, wouldn't let you easily look away from slavery AND I feel his bitterness, anger...its so fun, I wish we'd gotten more of him, I want him back.

The thing is....this game wants to treat the qun better, I think. But in doing so they ignore parts of the qun that genuinely were interesting culturally (Saarabas - god that one da2 quest kills me every time) and also...we don't MEET anyone who is really representaitve of the qun. Taash is there, but her questline of 'I can accept non-binary but I draw the line at multicultural' is...questionable to say the least, and from the stats it seems most people push her towards Rivan anyway. Shathann is from the qun and still holds it as important, but she feels more of a plot device to tell Taash's story than anything else. We've got the Qunari on the beach who tells the weather, but again, its not the Qun as a whole.

And to replace the 'evil' Qun we just get the 'evil' Antam. Who are now equipped with growling and turning into horrible beasts so. That's uh. something.

So actually having a qun faction, maybe letting us see Par Vollon, letting us interact with people there who actually live under the qun, letting us see Sten...it would be really interesting. And further, Sten being involved in this game makes perfect sense. Who is the Qunari going to send when it realises that they have a double blight on their hands? Probably the guy who actually fought in the fifth blight and helped finish it. You can also easily retcon any Sten death by saying he somehow got out of the cage and made his way on his own - its not perfect but it'll do considering the same is done with Isabela for DA2.

And Sten links us to DAO. In da2 we had Anders, Lothering, Flemeth, Merrill, Isabella...a lot linked us back to Fereden and DAO. In Dai we had Varric and Cassandra back from DA2 (as well as Hawke) and we had Leliana and Morrigan and potentially Loghain/Alistair back from DAO. Morrigan IS in DATV as a kinda link back to dao but she's not really around in that capacity here. Sten could talk about Ferelden, the blight, all of that stuff.

AND are the qun really just...standing by and letting the antam do whatever? they haven't sent ANYONE after them? Haven't tried to stop them in any way? There's no Antam who didn't defect? I don't know man, I really dislike the way the Antam are portrayed in this game. It really just feels it was done the way it is so the writers could pull a 'well we aren't saying ALL qunari are like this, just these ones'.

So just. Give us a qun faction. Let me play it out. I'm sure they'd handle it about as well as any other faction, but it would at least I think allow them to explore the Qun better than the Lords of Fortune do.

I also think this would mean Taash has a qun presense that isn't demonised and isn't their mother, which would really help them. They could go talk to the shadow dragons AND they could go talk to Sten. Bonus points if Sten assumes their a man to start with because they fight. BONUS BONUS points if we can get more on the qunari and gender.

The Better Option: Butcher, the Dragon King, The Qunari, and The Blight

OKAY SO the Butcher. I want Sten to be the Butchers like, narrative foil.

Because here me out, the Butcher should be SO MUCH MORE INVOLVED IN DATV. Other than Ghilian'han and Isseya (and maaaaybe Illario) he's the interesting villian this game gives us and he's just GONE SO QUICKLY. He's the opposite of the Arishock; he came to this city and instead of dispising it he FELL IN LOVE WITH IT. How fun!

Meanwhile, the Dragon King SUCKS. I wrote a whole post on that which you can find here but basically bleh, he's poorly written and poorly thought out. So lets just get rid of the Dragon King, and have the Butcher be our main Qunari/antam antagonist. Then lets have Sten here as someone who ALSO fell in love with a different place (Ferelden) but went home anyway, who went back to duty, who worries in the privacy of his own mind, about what it would mean if Ferelden fell to the Qun.

But also....as the Butcher is becoming less and less a follower of the Qun while believing hes doing right by the anatam...have sten ACTUALLY follow the Qun. I want to know more about Kosslon the prohet I really thought this game would give us that and it never did. I want to know about the Qun from someone who yeah has been travelling but who never really left it like Bull does.

I think this would also allow the crows to breathe a bit more because we could get some questioning around if the crows really ARE a good option for Treviso. Is the qun? Are both bad? Maybe both are bad? Annnnddddd now I'm thinking about how nicely this could dove-tail into a Zev cameo with Sten bringing him in.

I think Sten would also be really important for the blight as detailed above, but equally...I think having Sten react to the blight being basically the fault of a bunch of powerful mages? Thats an important perspective here! God, DAI goes out of its way to be like 'can mages be trusted' and even makes the alternative future of a pro mage character become anti-mage (leliana from the alternaitve future my beloved). But in DATV there is absolutely NOBODY who says mages are fucking things up - not even Varric who canonically is absolutely sick of mages and templars.

So Sten can do that for us because Qunari don't trust magic. And Sten can also play of Davrin for blight stuff (I think Davrin would have so many questions).

And like most legacy characters, if taken seriously...Sten offers us a chance to get rid of all this sanitisation because Sten is a complex character who has complex opinions on mages, who literally killed a whole family, who loves his homeland and the qun but has a soft spot for ferelden. Sten who will encourage you to get rid of all the mages in the mage tower, and who will see a lot of your do-goodery as a waste of time against the larger goal, but who also likes order and will defer to you as the leader.

Anyway thank you for the ask! Sorry for the long response. I love Sten though and think he should have been here.

[y-rhywbeth2]

Lore: Baldur's Gate #1

Link: Disclaimer regarding D&D "canon" & Index [tldr: D&D lore is a giant conflicting mess. Larian's lore is also a conflicting mess. You learn to take what you want and leave the rest]

The City | Demographics | Law & Legal System | Administration & Government | ??? - WIP

Might as well start compiling lore on the namesake of the game...

Featuring the city aesthetic (the depiction of it in-game wasn't nearly grey, damp or claustrophobic enough) and a mostly complete overview of the city and its major areas: the Lower City, Upper City, Outer City, Undercellar and Undercity.

Cultural titbits: like why you can't have animals bigger than peacocks; that you shouldn't live here if you have claustrophobia; how the Patriars clearly have it out for people with hay fever; the constant mould problem; where to go to get a glowing tattoo, a fake tan and the magical equivalent of a plastic surgeon; and why, in fairness to the Banites, the city requires very little effort to turn into a nightmarish police state under the control of an evil deity.

And if your Dark Urge is a sewer gremlin then that's a life choice they're making, not a Bhaalist thing: the Undercity isn't in the sewers.

-

The city state of Baldur's Gate is one of Faerûn's more important ports, situated geographically between the massive trade centres of Athkatla and Waterdeep. It began its life as a fusion of the early fishing hamlet of Loklee (formed around 0 DR) and the pirate and smuggler hub that formed nearby. It was a popular port with a shipyard and visitor's wharves by 204 DR. The natural harbour the man-made harbour is built on is one of the only places in hundreds of miles that's safe for ships to dock at.

Due to the lack of nearby settlements to form competition, the trade hub attained city status and import early in its existence. It briefly fell under the early kingdom of Shavinar, though this was mostly a technicality and the settlement continued to govern itself and continued to do so when the kingdom fell in 277 DR.

The area was first officially recognised in the history books as the city of of Baldur's Gate in 446 DR.

The primary spoken language of the Gate is Chondathan, however during the Spellplague the city attracted enough refugees to become one of Faerûn's most populated cities, and it's a diverse enough location that many people are at least bilingual (not counting Common): many speak Chondathan, their native/ancestral language and a third.

As a major port the city has always been something of a melting pot and encouraged a policy of tolerance - you don't want to drive away merchants and trade, after all. Likewise, in the interests of encouraging trade, the city has enforced a stance of political neutrality and refuses to be drawn into international problems.

Officially, the city prides itself on being welcoming to all ways of life, to the point where anyone and anything goes as long as they obey the laws and don't rock the boat; even the open worship of the majority evil gods is completely unremarkable - what if you want to trade with a place where those gods are a major religion, after all? While Umberlee is worshipped everywhere near the sea (under threat of tidal waves and drowning in retribution for not worshipping her), Baldur's Gate is one of the few places she has an actual temple.

A shrine to any god - regardless of what their faith does or preaches - can be established in any of the temple districts for public worship, and the law will pay it no mind.

This reputation for tolerance and neutrality means it tends to be one of the first choices for refugees and immigrants looking for a new start. The city is extremely crowded, with many people packed into tight spaces and narrow streets, and its population numbers surpassed the metropolis of Waterdeep decades ago; standing at 42,103 people in the 14th century, it has likely more than doubled since. Visitors often find it incredibly - possibly intolerably - loud and busy, while locals consider them to be backwater farmers who don't know what civilisation looks like.

While the city doesn't discriminate legally against any groups, its reputation for tolerance is somewhat overexaggerated. Peoples who are viewed as monstrous by the Realms at large, such as orcs and other goblinoids, or drow, can expect to feel unwelcome as with everywhere else. The recent wave of unwanted human refugees from Calimshan have a strained relationship with the established Baldurians, who view them as foreign and wish they'd just assimilate and start speaking Chondathan already. The city is a human settlement by culture and demographics, retaining its historical human majority, and while the demihuman minorities are part of mundane everyday life, there have been incidents such as in the early 14th century, which saw the rise of The Sure Helm: a human supremacy group who had an issue with the non-humans in their society and were known to carry out hate crimes on the likes of half-elves and half-orcs if they thought they could get away with it.

On a slightly saner note: you have the freedom of religion to worship a god who demands slaves and blood sacrifice, but it's a bad idea to advertise that... Or get caught slaving and murdering, unless you're a very high ranking priest.

--

Local bards tend to refer to the city as the Cresent moon in their lyrics and poems, after the shape of the city layout. The musical traditions of the Gate focus on "brassy-voiced tenors" and "delightfully smoky altos".

Baldurians frown on drunk, debauched and disorderly behaviour in public: there's no space for this nonsense and you're keeping everybody on the street awake.

The gate has an array of cosmetic services available in the markets of the Wide, where - as well as mundane tattooists and piercers - one can hire wizards in the market to perform cosmetic alterations with transmutation magic: glowing tattoos and other strange illusions, tans, magically affixing gems and jewellery like pieces to your body, changing hair colour, texture and style, changing your eye colour, altering your height or your weight or your sexual dimorphism, etc etc.

It's considered bad luck to harm a cat. Many of the animals moved into the area by hitching a ride on sea traffic, and as they're extremely useful for keeping vermin down both on land and at sea, Baldurians are fond of them.

If you need help carrying your shopping or finding somewhere in the city, most street corners have youths known as "lamp boys" and "lamp lasses" you can hire - so called because of the lanterns they carry at night. With the founding of the newspaper you can also find them hawking the daily papers.

The trade the city brings is the lifeline of the Sword Coast (South), and the only place one can buy foreign and luxury goods in the entire region. That said, these goods come at a significant mark up compared to the prices you'd find in Waterdeep or anywhere in Amn.

The majority of silver trade bars (bars of metal used in place of coins, for ease of transport) are made in the Gate, and the city sets the standards for this form of currency.

-

The city has always been heavily policed, and is known for being quiet and one of the safest cities in Western Faerûn; Baldurians don't expect much if any major disruption to the city's day-to-day life.

The city has its own City Watch - member of the watch being readily identified by their black helms, bearing a red stripe down one side - however the Flaming Fist Mercenary Company is the first thing that comes to mind when you mention law enforcement; you can barely go more than an hour without seeing at least one uniformed officer.

The City Watch used to be the city's police force, however by the end of the 15th century the Fist has taken on much of their role, and the Watch now functions purely as the private law keepers of the Upper City. They are permitted to live within the Upper City, and positions in the watch are now mostly hereditary.

Even when the Watch was the official city police the Fist boasted an army a thousand strong. By the start of the 15th century the Fist had taken over city patrols in a semi-official capacity. The two groups also overlap, and many of the Watch are also secretly members of the Fist. One in ten people in the gate - Watch or otherwise - are spies and informants for the mercenary company.

They may not be fully reliable as a police force however, as they are known to chose not to deal with some problems, declaring it a problem for the watch to deal with. Notably they do not police the Outer City and refuse to touch anything involving the Undercellar.

The Flaming Fist also has outposts in other realms, where it guards the foreign trade interests of the city, such as Fort Beluarian (a hamlet of 313 people) in the jungles of Chult on the Southern end of Faerûn. Being mercenaries, they are available for hire for any purpose that isn't considered flat out evil.

Of course the heavy policing and massive police presence, to anybody who cares to look closer at the city's outward appearance of security, is a giant tip-off that the city has a thriving underworld. The Thieves Guild is an ever-present force, and the religious tolerance means that there are a lot of other organised crime syndicates (ie the priests), murderers and extortion rackets running around. Such organisations keep close diplomatic ties to the Grand Dukes and the commander of the Flaming Fist.

-

The weather conditions are typically rain, sleet or fog depending on season and time of day, and the streets and buildings are almost constantly wet either from the weather or the sea. The architecture is almost entirely stone, as it's less likely to rot. The streets are often slippery, and straw or gravel from the river is sometimes thrown over the cobbles for grip. The citizens take advantage of the moisture and damp to use their cellars to cultivate edible fungi. Damp, mould and mildew are a common menace, but it did lead a wizard named Halbazzer Drin to make his fortune by inventing spells that banishes mildew (12gp per casting) and dry out an area without damaging anything (10gp), so services exist if you need to hire them. The spell is not known outside of the city; Drin refused to sell knowledge of the spell to anyone for any price or offer. Due to the damp, the streets have no banners or other hanging fabrics around.

Buildings tend to be tall and narrow, with shuttered slit windows placed high up, which will be firmly shut at night and all day in winter, to keep out the gales and invading gulls looking for places to nest. The extremely narrow streets of the Lower City are full of window planters and hanging baskets of flowers, providing the sole spot of colour amongst the grey. As the city streets are so steep and narrow, the city has a ban on allowing animals larger than a dog into the city (it's too difficult for them to navigate and likely to cause traffic issues).

Boxed in by its thick, heavily fortified city walls and with no space to expand the city has largely built upwards, and the streets are filled with stone buttresses and arches supporting the upper floors.

Due to its stony architecture and frequent overcast, the entire city is often referred to as the Grey Harbour by residents. (This is also the name of the actual city harbour)

The city is built into the chalk white cliffs around the harbour, growing in elevation until the settlement stops at the outermost walls.

By the 15th century, the city was firmly divided into the Lower and Upper Cities, the latter of which is built into the highest elevation, cut off by a wall. In the population boom that followed the mass immigration of Spellplague refugees, many people were forced to make space for themselves outside of the walls, building the Outer City. Beneath the city lies the Undercellar

Descending from the Undercellar is a labyrinth of tunnels leading down into caverns buried beneath Baldur's Gate; housing the ruins of a forgotten era, where the Temple of Bhaal stands over the ruins, surrounded by the restless spirits and walking corpses of undead residents ancient and brand new.

-

The Lower City houses most of the city, crafts and trade.

With the narrow spaces, cliffs, tall buildings and arches, the city can get rather dark at night. What public lighting is available is maintained by the citizens themselves. The wealthier parts of the Lower City, like Bloomridge, use oil and wick copper bowls, while poorer areas make do with candles in tin lanterns, usually such things are mounted on the walls and ceilings of the darkest corners; but when you want to navigate at night you'll usually be hiring lamp lads.

The Grey Harbour is one of Toril's most famous and best ports, frequented by legitimate merchant captains and pirates alike; many of the families living on the docks are the families of sailors. The area is very industrialised, sporting the shipyard, multiple cranes and railway tracks used to facilitate the moving of goods. The most notable structures are the Harbourmaster's Office, a tiny building with barred windows that deals with all trades and taxes - and the Water Queen's House at the end of the pier, which everybody with a brain makes offerings to and nobody looks too closely at whatever the Umberlant priests get up to in there, because the vast majority of people like breathing.

The Gate has little in the way of large fanciful festivals, but specific streets in the Lower City are prone to a centuries old tradition of "cobble parties", where the people living on a street pull up some chairs, benches and barrels and gather outside to share a mild drink, tell stories and chat. An ongoing cobble party can be recognised by the bright rose-red torches that are hung up along the street walls - these torches are made at Felogyr's Fireworks and can be bought almost anywhere in the city.

Bloomridge is as close the Upper City as you can get without actually gaining access, and houses the Gate's middle class. It was initially built in elevated platforms cimbing up the Upper City's walls using magic and Gondian engineering. It's various attractions - including fanciful architecture, florists, artisanal boutiques, fancy open-air kaeth houses (cafes) and dining houses (restaurants; also known as "skaethars" or "feasthalls"), and elaborate hanging gardens and floral arcades - made it attractive to those with wealth but no pedigree.

The district expanded as those who could afford to do so began purchasing and razing the original, less fancy buildings in the vicinity and building estates on the ground where they used to stand. Those who can't quite afford that instead opt to live in high class apartment buildings and flats over the local businesses. Buildings here often have rooftop gardens and balconies with pleasant vistas.

-

The Upper City is located in the oldest quarter of the city, the Lower City being built outside of the walls and stretching down to the harbour and then having the lower city walls constructed around it. The only gate connecting the two halves is the eponymous Baldur's Gate, the first of the many city gates constructed. It's also heavily guarded and the only gate by which outsiders may access the Upper City; there are numerous smaller gates, but they are exclusively used by patriars and those bearing family livery or bearing a letter of employment signed by a patriar. This district houses the Gate's oldest and most powerful families: anyone who isn't a patriar is either a servant or a watchman, who will most likely be a member of a family that has served a patriar family/the Upper City for generations. The exceptions tend to be a handful of the most successful and affluent business owners whose businesses have become popular enough with the nobility to be welcomed in. Every business and city service in this district exists to serve the upper class exclusively.

It's the most open and colourful part of the city; the shutters and doors are painted in fresh, vibrant paints. The streets are broad and well lit with ornate enchanted lamps; the terrain is mostly flat, unlike the streets of the Lower City, which can often resemble giant staircases.

Businesses that would cause unpleasant smells are banned from the area, and the Upper City maintains many gardens, windowsill planters and trellises where flowers bloom and fill the air with pleasant scents (unless you have hay fever, anyway). Wandering minstrels provide ambient music as they wander the streets - usually a singer playing a lute or harp accompanied by a flutist and perhaps a drummer who may provide a chorus.

They've also got drains, so the streets are less inclined to flood or turn to mud the way the rest of the city is.

There are no inns or alehouses here: a noble who wishes to drink will either host a party, attend a private club, or go slumming in the Lower City.

The Upper City houses the High Hall, also known as the ducal palace; the administrative building that provides a place for feasts, court hearings and government meetings. The meeting rooms are and have always been open for public use, however there is a rule that states you cannot rent a meeting room there twice within 48 hours (to stop people from monopolising the rooms). The High Hall used to be a more grim, military building but has since been renovated to appear more bright and friendly as a PR stunt following a giant riot over taxes.

The other two of the city's temples are located in the Upper City, the Lady's Hall - a Temple of Tymora - and the High House of Wonders, the temple of Gond (who is near enough the city's patron god). The building serves various purposes: a temple, workshops, factories and laboratories. When something deemed ready for the eye is released it can usually be viewed in the Hall of Wonders: a science museum across the street to the temple.

It's also where the Gate's largest marker - the Wide - is situated. It's the only large open space in the city, and the only open air market. Outside of festivals, performances and music is banned in the area. The Wide is usually packed with people forced to stand shoulder-to-shoulder, and those who are hired to perform deliveries in the Wide are always tall and large, capable of seeing over the heads of the throngs and pushing their way through. Goods are carried atop tall poles that are strapped to the deliverymen's chests or backs. Prices are lowest in the Wide compared to anywhere else, and any transactions that cannot be performed within a licensed store must take place here by law.

Permits to rent space in the Wide for the day are limited, and they usually go to whoever has the money to bribe the bailiff, watchmen and other officials who have sway in over the market's administration - which is usually the merchants of the Upper City.

As well as the usual fare of goods, the Wide offers a large range of cosmetic services including the mundane body modifications and stylists that one would find on Earth, and more esoteric concepts that can only be accomplished with magic; such services and the artisans who provide them are seasonal and ever changing. The Wide is the most colourful spot in the city, and the only place that's the exception to the lack of banners and other hanging fabrics. Historically the Wide was open all day and night, but in recent times the watch has been closing the area at dusk - nobody except for the patriars may have use of the Upper City after dark.

The Wide is only closed if the area must be used for something else, such as public Highharvestide festivals... or because a patriar decided to close it off for private use, such as a ball or wedding.

Just outside of the market area is the rest of the Upper City's commercial area; stores, insurance offices, trade guildhalls, Ramazith's tower and the public entrance to the Undercellar - a flight of stone stairs leading down to a pair of heavy oak doors at the southern edge of the market. The doors are shut, but the Undercellar never closes and if you knock somebody will open them and usher you inside.

-

The Undercellar is a maze of underground passages lying beneath the city - mostly vaulted stone chambers created from the interconnected and abandoned cellars of the old Upper City, with hidden exits all over the city. Those who know where these exits are tend to guard them jealously, but may be willing to allow the Thieves' Guild access for coin or service. The Guild itself controls a fair few of these exits, and has been working on expanding the network.

It's also the playground for the criminal underworld of the Gate. The Undercellar's public image is that of a rather unprincipled festhall (a specific form of adult entertainment venue in the Realms that serves as a fusion of casino, bar, lounge, spa, brothel, playground, BDSM scene, LARPing club and so forth), which in a way, it is. Due to its dangerous reputation, it's incredibly popular, especially with those who are trying to look edgy and dangerous (particularly teenagers).

If one is openly carrying weapons, you can expect the armed guards stationed in the room to start following you closely; otherwise they'll leave you be. The guards are unlikely to care much about any disturbances, so long as they don't start disrupting everybody's business. Customers are not to venture further into the Undercellar without permission and an escort.

And behind that edgy, but mostly harmless veneer visitors play at and never see past is the real Undercellar, which is every bit as dark as its rumoured to be.

The Guild has its offices down here, and other rooms are used for varying purposes by other criminals. Want to put a hit on somebody, watch somebody get murdered in a Bhaalist red room, smuggle people or whatever crimes against humanity you feel like seeking out, this'd be the place to do it.

The Undercellar is policed by nobody except the criminals who do their work down there; whatever might take place down there, neither the Watch nor the Fists have any desire to know about them if you try and bring them to light. Want to avoid bad things? Don't get involved with the Undercellar.

The sprawling, pitch-black maze - if one knows how to navigate it - is a good way to get around the Upper City without detection. Somewhere down there is a passage that goes deeper, leading further into the earth and into the Undercity.

The Undercity is, clue in the name, the dead remains of a city buried beneath the living Baldur's Gate (specifically the original city that became the Upper City). At its heart is the Temple of Bhaal, and the city is inhabited by Bhaalists, alive and dead; the original, now undead, inhabitants of the undercity and any victims of the temple that have joined them.

-

The Outer City, Cliffgate and Blackgate are not technically parts of the city, being constructed outside of them.

The soil surrounding the city is little use for agriculture, but it is sufficient for grazing, so most farmers are the likes of shepherds and cattle farmers. As livestock and large animals are not permitted inside the city, cattle markets, stables and such businesses will be found there. Many of the less pleasant businesses, such as butchers and tanners, have relocated here to spare the rest of the city the smell and mess.

Much of the structures are semi-permanent in nature, and the areas are not subject to official oversight or in possession of any particular infrastructure. They aren't policed by the Fist or the watch, the area is near enough lawless, and crime is frequent. "Security" tends to be overseen by the Guild, and while the government doesn't tax outside the walls, residents still have to pay their dues to the local thieves and thugs.

The Outer City is as crowded as the Lower City, but less sanitary or orderly: these places are dirty, loud, smell a lot and tend to be quite dangerous. Many of the residents are farmers, criminals and foreigners and immigrants of varying generation who can't afford or find a place in the city proper.

The Blackgate is the historical slum area, and grew around the inland-facing Black Gate to the North West, growing around the Trade Way connecting The Gate to Waterdeep.

The Tumbledown district, located in Cliffgate outside the city gate of the same name, is the middle child of the expansions, leading down the cliffs. The land was owned by the Szarr family generations ago, before they were all (supposedly) slaughtered by a rival family in the night. Tumbledown is an extremely foggy area, full of graveyards and tombs, and rumours abound that the ghosts of the dead Szarrs haunt the streets there and steal people away. People do disappear there, but most people are sceptical that it's due to ghosts.

The Outer City is a newer, larger slum that grew around the Basilisk Gate and spread along the Coast Way - the road between the Gate and Athkatla - as the city population exploded at the end of the 14th century.

Immigrant communities have taken the opportunity to build their own settlements in the Outer City, styled in their own architectural styles, such as Little Calimshan; a tenement on Wyrm's Crossing is exclusively occupied by halflings; Whitkeep houses a gnomish community who does most of the city's tinsmithing; half-orcs lodge in Stoneyes; a shield dwarven community is located in Shieldgate.

These communities are considered outsiders by most Baldurians, and generally there's no love lost between those inside the walls and outside.

[ashintheairlikesnow]

thoughts about the devil in fiction

I think the amount of stories that feature or even focus on a deeply sympathetic or tragic Lucifer Morningstar who is not so much evil as misunderstood, or someone who broke the rules before anyone understood rules could be broken, are an interesting take on our innate need to believe that literally anyone can be redeemed, or at least have some capacity for desiring or wishing for redemption even if they can never, ever earn it.

The tragedy of Lucifer isn't that he was the first of the damned, but that he simply has no other future, no hint of potential to have existence be anything but what it already is.

His tragedy never results in any significant change to heaven in a positive direction. Usually these stories involve the idea of rebellion designed to take heaven down or make it more similar to hell. Rebellion based on being jealous of humanity's ability to make their own choices, or being so proud of himself that he believed his power could rival God.

Lucifer remains trapped within a prison of his own pride and belief that he knows best, or maybe the story involves him learning that his pride was misplaced, but even so the punishment is never truly lifted. It cannot be. It's eternal.

There's also an element, I think, of many people seeing the unfairly demonized - how impossible it can seem to fight against seemingly arbitrary rules - and sort of painting that in larger strokes using the Devil as a canvas. The first of creation to look at the way things were and wonder why they could not be different than this.

How many of us grow up thinking we will change things on a grand scale, fight against the powers that made us, and instead find ourselves simply struggling to maintain hope in a world we aren't allowed to affect? Who find ourselves stomped down when we stand up, or told our ideas are impossible? Told that we're just jealous of those who have more than we have, or that we're too full of ourselves thinking we could make a difference?

It's a really interesting relatability that we have created out of a handful of mentions in a very old book, similar mythologies from other religions, and sheer imagination.

Even in Dante's Hell, written in the 17th century, Lucifer is tragic, damned by pride and envy of God to reign in Hell but ultimately declaring he would rather rule the worst of creation than serve the best.

Is it the best, though?

What is humanity with all its potential for both bad and good removed?

Is the goodness of humanity worth much if it can't be contrasted with the worst? Does good exist without evil, or is it functionally meaningless at that point? Does Lucifer rule over the way that humanity can define what is good, rather than serve a good that has no evil with which to compare itself?

One of my favorite takes has always been those stories that have Lucifer's damnation be focused on seeing the worst of humanity coalesced, over and over and over again, and never allowed to see goodness in Creation. That his tragedy is that he isn't allowed to see how we can use the free will and knowledge of good and evil to do good, he can only see the way it's been twisted to darkness. Which suggests that he has been blinded to goodness purposefully.

The story of the serpent tempting Eve is always performed or written as the serpent slyly, knowingly tricking her by saying, "Surely you will not die," with a wink and a nudge. But there's another take in which the serpent - often written to be the same as Lucifer/Satan and explicitly stated to be the same entity in Christianity, although Genesis doesn't actually make that connection, it's just a snake who can talk and ask questions Eve and Adam hadn't thought of yet - was genuinely of the belief that humanity wouldn't come to same ruin he had, since they were so clearly and obviously being given a different set of potential than the angels.

In that reading, "Surely you will not die," is said with outright, honest confusion as to why they would think so.

After all, this creation was two people in a garden being given endless paradise. But there was something about the potential of their existence they had yet to touch... the ability to make choices that were truly their own.

His rage, his unending fury and pain, is because he believed once in his hubris that if humans can be given the capacity to choose, so could an angel. But then he realized that it didn't matter... even his rebellion was choreographed. It was just lines written on a page, enter the Morningstar, stage left, give his lines, be thrown into the pit.

If the plan was written from the start by a power he could never begin to equal, that means it was a script whose lines he read thinking those thoughts were his own.

Lucifer's tragedy is that even his pride and his envy, his fall, wasn't actually his.

His rage and his suffering is just one more step in a plan larger than he could ever be.

And he had no idea until it was done.

Punished for playing his part so well in a play he had no hand in writing and no idea was even an act, given the unending absence of the basic foundation of angelic existence afterward, forced to witness the worst of the favored creation given everything he ever wanted only to squander it...

Isn't that a tragedy unlike any other?

So those stories that feature Lucifer or even demons in general who are sympathetic and tragic because they are fighting against a constructed universe that they can barely touch or affect and who are suffering an absence, a chasm inside of them that was once filled with artificially created joy that was removed as arbitrarily as it was made...

You can see why those stories resonate over centuries, take new forms, and are an endless fascination for those of us here.

[onestepbackwards]

(not a request) I remember the idea of "self aware pokemon masters ex" being thrown here a few months back, and using my 3 awesome brain cells i thought about how some of the villains in the game would react after gaining self awareness and all that hooba dooba:

Ghetsis: boy, if you wanted to see an AI go full rebel mode, look no further than this guy. despite being an old evil geezer, he was fast enough to catch on about the environment; or rather the GAME he's in. he orders kyurem to attack, but he can't even feel himself move when doing so. he quickly attempts to fight for control against the invisible force (aka YOU) that puppeteers him to do whatever it pleases. of course, after you win on whatever mission you were doing, Ghetsis would attempt to communicate with you to figure out just who or WHAT are you. oh, and he's not too happy with you, either. and despite that, he's.. strangely fond of your battling strategy. he will never say it to you out loud, but he's somewhat accepting of the situation he's in, and knows he can trust you to lead him to whatever his stinky bottom wants (he would also convince you to join team plasma but you don't have the heart to tell him that team plasma is, in fact, not real)

Giovanni: same reaction as Old Man Gee-cis, but he's more quick to accept the situation that he's in. after gaining sentience, he was, quote-unquote "unsure of who he is". all he knows is that HE is supposed to order people around, not the other way around. after you explain to him what he is, what his role is and anything that the internet provides you with, he is left rather.. curious. sure, being painted as the Big Bad Who Only Wants To Do Bad bummed him a bit, but he promises to fulfill that role for you. you're real to him just as he is to you, and he depends on you more than you can imagine.

Maxie & Archie: took the whole situation to a more funny extent, believe it or not. you'd find them in the lobby seemingly discussing back and forth, and once you'll tap in to talk with em', they're actually.. way more chill than you imagined. of course, they're completely clueless as to what they are, and you help them with the internet. at first, they're not too fond of being, yknow, ecoterrorists, but the idea of having groudon and kyogre as their sync partners was enough to apparently lift their spirits. they're also way more fond of you mainly for all the hours you put on them to make them hard as tooth and nail. what can they say, your dedication is admirable!

Cyrus: took the whole scenario as calm and lax as possible. "oh so my entire life was merely a lie, and my entire being is just code and numbers? oh well lol. wanna grind for pair scouts?". he's not very fond of the backstory that was chosen for him, but he didn't let it stop him from living life to the fullest. tried to smile once but it was unsuccessful. he wouldn't tell you that, but he trusts you more than any of the others you pair him with.

Oohh self aware Team Leaders 👀👀👀

I feel Ghetsis would also be in an odd position. He’s programmed to feel somewhat fond of the player character, hinting he wants them to be his organization’s new King/Queen or whatever.

Of course, we all know its for manipulation purposes, but he probably sees potential in you all the same. Sees your battle strategy and prowess. Which definitely carries over once he starts realizing that in game model of you is no more than a soulless puppet.

He hates his situation, and is probably one of the ones that actually takes a lot of convincing just how different your worlds are.

Worst case scenario, he sees you as an actual god, and tries to get close to you so he can ascend to godhood as well. Who wouldn’t want a god under their thumb?

But… it doesn’t work that way, and he refuses to listen. He knows you have some sort of power. How else are you able to control him and others?

Giovanni is another interesting one 👀 he’d not take kindly to finding out you were controlling him to a certain degree…

But he does admit, you don’t seem to be doing any harm, just using him for your battles. He doesn’t show it, but his ego is through the roof when you choose him, and make him stronger. Of course he’s the right choice.

He acts a lot calmer about it, trying to grasp what kind of a person you are, and is pleased when he sees you don’t see the world in black and white. You think a bit more openly than the children running around the island.

He’ll see if he can’t get close to you, and figure things out. You aren’t a god, he can tell. You act too human. But being close to you will surely yield some benefits…

Archie and Maxie are definitely the more laid back of the group. Especially if they are together. They have their differences, but they were working together before with your player character, they can surely behave and continue to do so.

They still argue though every so often.

Both of them also look out for you a bit more than the others. They can see how… unhinged Ghetsis is, and Giovanni’s laid back attitude has them on edge since they know what he’s capable of. At least one will usually be at your side, just in case.

Meanwhile, Cyrus would probably be the most genuinely curious about you and your world. What is it like? How does a world function without pokemon?

Even if he doesn’t like the past and role he was given as a means of entertainment, he doesn’t fault you for that. From just a few conversations from you, he can gleam you mean no harm.

He also enjoys the conversations you have. You have an interesting view on humanity and the universe as a whole.

You even question his ideals, with a real means of backing up your own hypothesis on how his ideal world wouldn’t work, instead if just saying it was wrong, like every else who opposed him.

He can tell you genuinely care for him at least, despite knowing his goals. You make sure he’s strong, one of the strongest.

Cyrus at least internally decides to have you as an ally.

[natureismynature]

What is idwtkoh?? Tell me your propaganda

Oh my fucking god anon hello and THANK YOU for giving me the opportunity to talk about THE most amazing webtoon I have ever laid my eyes upon. Get ready cuz I'm gonna be insufferable-

OKAY. So, 'I don't want this kind of hero' is a Korean webtoon (manhwa) made by Samchon. It became popular in 2010 and the english translation ended in 2020. It has 290 chapters when I say every single chapter is top tier, I MEAN IT.

First of all, the artsyle is SO GOOD. It's so fucking charming and so BADASS when it wants to be, a perfect balance. Idfk why some people get turned off by the artstyle?? Like???

This is the first ever panel and it already looks SO GOOD WDYM. And the character designs??? THE CHARACTER DESIGNS OH MY GOD. You can take one look at any character in this series and you'll have the basics of their personality just like THAT. It's so obvious but subtle at the same time??? I can't explain. Just- the character designs are AMAZING. I want to post every single character in the series just to prove my point but that'll be overkill, take this group photo instead-

SPEAKING ABOUT THE CHARACTERS.

The characters in this are all SO GOOD. And I'm not even being biased about it I swear- I mean, I don't like main characters often, in fact, I can count in two hands the number of main characters I actually like from ALL the stuff I've watched over the years, and Naga is in that list. Naga is the main character of the series and that boy owns my HEART. He's the most powerful person in the world, he goes through a lot of shit, he canonically has depression, he had so many opportunities to take a life and get away with it because it would have been JUSTIFIED, but he still finds it in him to be the kindest person out there. He can be selfish, he can be childish, and he is unapologetically FLAWED in more ways than one, he messes up and sees the world for what it is, but he learns and he grows but he will never be perfect and that's what makes me love him.

And it's not just Naga who's amazingly written. ALL the characters are unique and complex in their own ways. I can go through every single one of them, from the heroes to the villains to the people caught in the crossfire- I can make ESSAYS for everyone. Why they act the way they do, why they did the things they did, how the circumstances that they went through made them who they are. The dynamics between the characters themselves are so amazingly done as well, it's so origanic, in a way.

Oh my god if you love women, you'll LOVE this series because lemme tell you, the women in this are amazing. 100/10 would recommend. They're not sexualized in any way, they get as much character development AND exploration just as much as the men do and no one is there to purpose as the mc's love interest. The ladies as fuckin BADASS and cool and beautiful and the villains!!! HOLY SHIT THE VILLAINS LADIES. They are so evil and flawed and I adore them so much- the hero ladies too AUGH- (makes sense cuz the author is a woman)

But yeah, I talk about heroes and villains a lot bc this is a story about heroes and villains and a world with powers and animal hybrids and mythical creatures-

AND THE STORY. THE FUCKING STORY. IT'S SO GOOD.

I won't go into details because that'd be spoilers in case you wanna read it (PLEASE READ IT ITS SO GOOD) but I can tell you this much- it's a perfect balance between humor and action and tragedy. It starts of light and funny, but the story gets a darker edge as time goes on, I know that's a deal breaker for a lot of people, but it's actually done in a way that makes so much sense that you realize in your second read that it's ALWAYS been a much darker story. The cruelty of the world has always been there, the racism, the unforgiving circumstances, the perversion of the world, the pain and the grief and the misery- it's always been there.

Only, we were seeing the world through Naga's young and naive perspective. He was new to the world of heroism, he's just a kid that didn't know any better. He was never arrogant about his powers, he never bragged about it, didn't even want the attention it brought him, but he unknowingly got too confident in his abilities to keep him sheltered. As time went on and as more fucked up shit he goes through, he sees more, understands more, and suddenly everything's too dark because that's ALL he sees now.

The story shows us how the world is not black and white but instead a multitude of the shades of gray. And it doesn't shy away from exploring those shades. It DIGS into those shades of gray, makes you question the justice of a character's actions, makes you wonder if things would have gone differently if this or that happened instead. Even goes deep into the psychology of the characters, both heroes and villains alike.

And the main villain? OH THE MAIN VILLAIN. Baekmorae is SUCH a top tier villain. I HATE HIM. I hate how much I love him. He's so- he's insane. He's crazy. He's unhinged. I want to put him in a blender, turn his bones into powder and feed him to the fishes. He's so well written it HURTS.

Oh and this series gets dark. Like DARK dark. It's like if you mix One Piece, BNHA, Mob Psycho, and Saiki K together, you get this. And if you know me, you know I ADORE all four of those, so this series owns my entire being-

Augh, as much as I want to keep going, this is getting longer than I expected it to be. Well, that's a lie, I wanted it to be longer but I also want you to read the entirety of my propaganda and having this stretch out longer might turn you off so I'll stop here kfvekdvs if you want to know more PLEASE don't hesitate to slide into my inbox I'll be so freaking happy to talk about this more <3

TLDR: idwtkoh is freaking amazing from start to finish you should go read it it's amazing, BYE!

[fnaftalexreader]

I'm assuming you meant my baby boi Satan, which is going to be VERY interesting... @gallifreyianrosearkytiorsusan

Uriel Ventris getting tortured by Satan (headcanons)

Angel, demon, or God Satan would definitely have their own ways of torturing him-

Before the Fall

Hoooooooo boooooooi

Satan as an angel was very... dense. And very VERY childish.

Time in Hell

While the torture would be unintentional, he still would look like a grown man acting like a little kid.

Look at this man, he's HUGE-

He doesn't look like it, but he's a toddler. A 15-foot toddler. And he would torture him in the same way a normal toddler would.

"Can I touch your armor?! Can I have your weapon?! Do you have any battle stories?! DO YOU WANNA FIGHT ME?!" *literally vibrating with excitement*

He is basically a more violent "do you have games on your phone" kid, and will. Not. Shut. Up.

A bolter to the face won't even intimidate him, because he's never seen a gun before. He's like... 7. And VERY sheltered.

He'll latch onto Uriel's tiny leg (in comparison to him, it's tiny), and just ask millions of questions, till he sees the next poor space marine to harasss.

He has no social boundaries, as angels don't have boundaries with each other. So, the moment Uriel gets fed up with Satan's behavior, it will result in this poor angel crying. He's a sensitive guy, despite his love for all things war.

He's also very much danger prone, and I could see Satan getting Uriel in trouble a LOT by accidentally making him abandon his troops.

"Look at this weird puppy! Can I keep him?!"

"...you heretical magnet of an angel, that's a flesh hound- put it down, it's dangerous!"

He's also surprisingly quiet when he wants to be, and will give the poor man a heart attack every now and again-

Thankfully, he struggles with reading. Why is this a good thing? Uriel could lie to Satan, saying if he reads the codex front to back, he too can become a space marine (or at least an honorary one, if he doesn't want to crush the poor guys hopes and dreams with false promises.)

This might work for a few days, but after a while it will get too frustrating, and he might try to rip up the poor thing out of frustration.

But before he can, Belphegor, Lucifer, Andras, Metatron, Gabriel, or someone else that likes to read will start reading the codex like a bedtime story for him.

Till their father tries to burn it, seeing it as "evil" since its knowledge outside of his own. He doesn't like his kids learning anything.

But this is pretty much how baby Satan would torture him. He'd push Uriel's flexibility to its limits with his childish nature, huge stature, and inability to understand ANY social cues, human or space marine.

After Ascension

Ah shit, here we go again.

He doesn't really change much in personality, but he is partially blind, occasionally hears voices challenging him or calling him weak, and at this point, he makes daemons of khorne seem more patient.

VERY irritable, and constantly scared, he's more like a frightened animal than a malicious demon.

But he still looks like demonic scum... if you squint, he looks like a bloodthirster. So he's chaos enough.

Satan wouldn't really attack him unprompted, let alone actually torture him.

But if he hurt other demons first? Mercy is not Satan's first thought-

"You fired at a LAMBTTEN?! I WILL RIP OUT YOUR ENTRAILS AND STRANGLE YOU WITH THEM!"

He's very overprotective of the denizens of gehenna, and-

Huh...

Now that I think about it, and what I've researched...

Satan is just demon Uriel.

They're both warriors, they both think outside the box, they're protective of the innocent...

Satan is just Uriel with anger issues, crippling cptsd, and anxiety.

I could see Satan torturing him over a misunderstanding, like Uriel attacking demonic children, thinking they're chaos scum.

Or him attacking Satan, thinking he's hurting civilians, when he's trying to protect them too. Leading to another fight that doesn't go in Uriel's favor.

At this point in his life, Satan is not strong. Not by a long shot. But he is CRAZY. He's willing to do everything and anything to protect the innocent, even it means hurting himself or others in the process.

Though he'd eventually find out what a good person Uriel is for the most part, and feel REALLY guilty for hurting him. He can respect a warrior protecting their own, he just forgets that not all who hurt children are villains.

He'd let his siblings heal him up, while he himself lays on the ground with guts between his fangs, whimpering like a bad dog who got caught ripping up the couch.

I could see them coming to an agreement in secret, like with the demon engine. Though it would be more mutually beneficial. Demons help protect the empire from chaos, and they get food for the Lambttens in return.

This would DEFINITELY get him checked for heresy again, but thankfully working with demons from gehenna doesn't corrupt your mind. You only get weird, if you already are weird. You won't have urges to fuck your mom, or murder puppies any time soon. The demons of gehenna don't want you to do that either-

But Uriel might get a little too close to being executed for heresy as again, Satan is blind. Out of all the demons, he's one of the few that would get caught a LOT due to his disability. He can "see" mainly through hearing, so the marching of an army sounds like he's already surrounded, unless he's more focused.

They might have to give him and his chapter refuge at that point, and that would slowly lead things to end up kinda like how the angelic interaction would go.

"...so can I have your bolter? I won't do anything with it, I just want to feel it-"

Uriel will not know a day without this demon fanboying over the emperor's children, if he dares to answer any of the demon's questions-

At this point in Satan's life, he has finally matured.

He's basically like Khorne, if Khorne had a zen garden.

He is a god of wrath, but also patience. A god of war and peace. A god of violence and mercy.

His domain reflects this weird balance between blood and serenity. Part of his temple is dedicated to training in all forms of combat. While another part is dedicated to meditation. There are decorative infinity pools full of blood, with an enchantment to keep the blood from rotting and stinking up the place. The air has a mix of iron, smoke, and incense filling it with their unique and oddly pleasant smell. Satan's own room has bubbling rivers of blood, zen gardens, actual gardens, and a small training area where he keeps his favorite weapons in a display near his meditation spot.

All in all, he's fucking weird.

At this point, he's a god, but he's able to take a healthier version of his demonic form. With black fur and white wool.

He's a lot more patient, as already stated, and THAT would be what tortures Uriel...

...and possibly getting accused of heresy, AGAIN-

Satan would take Uriel in, given the chance, to give him tests and challenges in an attempt to think even more outside the Codex Astartes, and whatever boxes he has in his mind in general.

He wouldn't be any real danger. Buuuuut, it would be like waking up in a saw trap, unaware that it's a normal escape room.

Satan, at this point, would torture him purely on accident. Sure, he'd wish to scare him and give him pressure, but he doesn’t want to drive the poor man mad-

If the puzzles get to be too much, Satan would give him a break, which could get mistaken for a trick of chaos.

Satan wouldn't want him to convert away from the emperor, he's just made it his life goal to help any and all warriors to be their best, most honorable selves.

I could see him and the emperor having a fight in the warp. Not a full on battle, more so an argument over Satan kidnapping warriors to train and send back out with better strategy skills-

At this point, getting tortured by Satan would just be bizarre...

But if you want headcanons on ACTUAL intentional torture, it's the same as when he was a demon. Hurt the innocent, and you get mauled.

He wouldn't care for the "kill all xenos on sight" rule, even if humanity has a good reason for it. A child is a child and must be sheltered from war, even if they are your enemies' blood.

Thankfully, Uriel's sense of honor might save him here, as the only time I've read about him threaten the innocent was when he was threatening to kamikaze a planet so the tau would back off.

But if he hurts a Lambtten, out of reflex from fighting daemon scum-

He is in for a WORLD of hurt-

Because, unlike Khorne, Satan is extremely patient at this point... sure, he could have his followers maul him as a sacrifice. But he could also make a small slit in his skin, and have him bleed to death, one milligram of blood at a time...

Is it inefficient? Yes. Will it probably take months or years for it to kill him? Probably. But Satan can wait for Uriel to beg for death, either to end his boredom or to get his agonizingly slow execution over with.

It will also give him time to think about his actions and apologize.

But surprisingly, dying from a tiny cut in your foot or hand would be Satan showing mercy in a backwards way.

If Uriel REALLY pissed him off at this age? Dude would just eat him.

Just depends on whether or not the Lambtten is just wounded or dead. If the Lambtten dies to Uriel's hand, he's getting eaten. If they're just hurt, he gets the ridiculously slow execution and plenty of time to apologize to the god and possibly the child he hurt.

I had to go to the wiki a few times and watch a whole video on him, so this might not be perfect. But I did my best with what I got :3

[ultraintrovertedgryffindor]

𝐌𝐮𝐭𝐮𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐀𝐬𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐃𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 - Ettore

ah...um...i have no excuse for this one, just my mental illness. seriously wanted to name this Dark Matter but I already have a fic named that😭 Happy Valentine's Day💕. Please, please mind the warnings.

Summary: Being forced into deep space as part of some twisted experiment, tensions rise with a fellow inmate.

Warnings: DARK (no really, dead dove: do not eat), minor spoilers for High Life, serial killer!reader (also a bit of a psychopath), nihilism, brief mentions of witnessing CSA, graphic descriptions of murder, mentions of The Box™, Ettore being a creep obvi, mild vore if ya squint? (does it count if said voreist doesn't swallow?), sexual violence, Reader and Ettore takes every chance to beat each other up honestly, SMUT (MINORS DNI), switches between con/noncon, hatefucking (they will try to kill each other), choking (but like, actually almost to death), slapping, punching, degradation, some misogyny, blood kink, pain kink

word count | 5.1k🤙🏻

You were a dangerous killer, but you knew you didn’t belong here.

You never could’ve fathomed how brutally cold and dark being in deep space truly was. Even inside the ship, no one could ever really escape the constant chill. At first, you thought this was the obvious option, joining this experiment. It was either this, or death row. But this was death row, in its own way. No one believed they’d come out of this mission alive. But you supposed dying in a black hole was more interesting than being pumped full of poison. Less boring. Now, you would’ve preferred death row on Earth. At least that would guarantee you a painless death. Welp, too late now.

At least you weren’t completely alone, if you prefer being in the company of other dangerous and evil people rather than isolation. You’d rather have to constantly look over your shoulder than go mad with loneliness. The crew was an eccentric bunch, as you could imagine. All of them are some type of murderer, like you. Some of them had good reasons, but most of them didn’t. What was more distressing was the fact that the doctor, Dibs, frightened you the most out of them all, but it was mostly due to the fact that the witch was on a personal mission to get one of the females pregnant even though the fetus would die from radiation. Even though she was here because she killed her own children. She was the biggest hypocrite of them all, though you had no room to talk, having a bit of a god complex made you one just as much as she was.

You knew you were different from other people, even at an early age. You didn’t see the world like others did, you never could find the beauty in anything. The first blossoms of spring, the sun rising over the horizon, the miracle of life, the kindness of strangers; you didn’t see any of it. All you could focus on was the evils in the world and you found that the world was overrun with it. Children starving, needless wars, homelessness, animals being tortured and killed for entertainment; it was all there was, it was wrong. It was all wrong.

Your parents had taken you to therapy multiple times, but nothing ever seemed to work. You were diagnosed as depressed and they hopped you up on all kinds of medication, but you weren’t depressed, not really. Just because you saw the world for how it really was didn’t automatically mean you were depressed, you just refused to be ignorant of it. You didn’t see the point of being a cooperative member of society when it wouldn’t take care of you. It had nothing to offer you, so you just refused to play along. The first anyone noticed something was truly wrong was the first day of kindergarten. You had beaten a boy near half to death because you saw him pushing another kid around. They weren’t fighting back, so you did it for them. Your parents had to pay the brat’s hospital bills. You didn’t understand why the doctors helped save the life of a kid who’d grow up to be an even bigger bully. A waste of oxygen, you thought. You barely paid attention to the severe scolding your parents gave you about how “violence was never the answer.” Bullshit, you knew that, even your parents knew that, they just wanted to follow the so-called moral rules to be accepted. But that wasn’t you, you didn’t need social acceptance. Not by anyone, not even your own family. But there wasn’t much you could do about it at the time.

You grew into your teenage years without so much of a punch to anyone, not even to defend yourself. You were beaten up by so many of your fellow students, you could’ve gotten a punch card for every time you had to be sent to the nurse’s office. You just bottled up everything.

The first time you ever felt a semblance of love was when your little sister was born. As soon as your mother placed her in your arms at the hospital, you knew you had to protect her. You never wanted her to be like you, you didn’t want her to end up like you, ostracized and bullied. You’d lay down your life and kill for her if need be. You made that promise to yourself. So, when you walked in on your father with his hand down her pants, you had no idea how to react. Fathers weren’t supposed to touch their children that way. He had all but flung her off his lap once he saw you, claiming that they were just playing a game. But you weren’t a naive child anymore, you knew what he was doing.

Before you could think on it any further, you ran to the kitchen and grabbed a knife, but your father was close behind to stop you. He had wrestled you to the ground, trying to take the knife away, but you blindly thrusted the blade upwards, hearing a sickening squelch before something wet hitting your face. The world seemed to go dark for a brief moment, before coming back into view and seeing your father’s horrified face. You followed your arm to the blade in your hand, your heart leaping out of your chest. You had aimed for your father above you, but your sister must’ve followed you and tried to stop the fight. Tears filled your eyes as you saw your knife stuck in your little sister’s chin, her tiny body going limp and crumbling to the floor, your arm frozen in place allowing the blade to come free as she fell.

Your father screamed and screamed at you as he wailed with his baby girl in his arms, trying to stop the blood copiously flowing from her neck and making a red sticky puddle on the tiles. But it was too late, the life had already drained from her once bright innocent eyes. You didn’t mean to…it was an accident…but you knew your father would spin the story in his favor. So, you did what you only thought you could.

You buried your blood coated knife into your father’s back, hearing him exhale a choked breath in shock. The blade was long, so the one hit wasn’t enough. So you did it again. And again. And Again. And again. Again until he fell to the floor, unable to yell or cry as you kept stabbing. You couldn’t count how many times you dug the blade into his chest, enough until you couldn’t tell what was his shirt or his skin. You were drenched at this point. You knew you had to leave. You threw up, thick tears and painful sobs escaping your throat as you looked upon your mistakes.

You showered, rubbing your skin raw and hastily packing a bag and running from your childhood home. You didn’t want to think about the look on your mother’s face when she ultimately got home from work, calling out for her husband and two precious children whom she loved dearly. She wouldn’t know that he was a predator or that he preyed on his own daughter. She wouldn’t know why she walked onto a bloodbath in the kitchen, you nowhere to be found. She wouldn’t believe the police when they say you should be considered a suspect. You were odd and violent when you were little, yes, but you could never kill your own family. She saw your face of awe when you looked down at your newborn sister in your arms. She’d never believe you to be the culprit, until the DNA came back matching yours. You weren’t her daughter anymore. She wasn’t a wife or a mother anymore. She was nothing, much like you.

You didn’t bother to control yourself anymore. You had nothing to live for. You were nothing. You weren’t a protector, now that you had nobody to protect. But you soon realized that wasn’t necessarily true. There were other kids in similar situations, you could try to protect them. Like a light bulb when off in your head, you suddenly had a purpose once again. Like your father, you’d find and punish those who’d hurt their children. And that’s exactly what you did, until you got caught of course. But you had a good run, ridding the world of some of the filth it had to offer. You were bloodthirst, you craved to see the looks of horror on these men’s faces as they knew they would be punished for their misdeeds. If you had time, you’d torture them. But you rarely had that luxury of taking your time, but you still felt better knowing one less evil person was in the world. It was ironic that you were now on a crew full of evil people.

Monte didn’t seem all that bad, a bit temperamental. He didn’t hesitate to knock your lights out if you pissed him off, you learned that firsthand. Well, most of the inmates did that. Ettore though, was one you had trouble figuring out. He was quiet, observant, not particularly violent though like the other inmates. He was a pervert though, hypersexual. It definitely put off all of you. He used the Box every day, but that wasn’t unusual. You were instructed to never talk about why you were here, but gossip was like breathing, you couldn’t go without it. You learned he killed someone in a particularly violent way when he was a teenager, much like you. He was a minor but was charged as an adult, got the same ultimatum like the rest of you; death row or deep space.

You’d honestly thought he’d try to talk to you, given that you both were around the same age and the “babies” of the crew, but he never did. But maybe that was for the better, attracting the attention of another inmate didn’t seem like the best move. For the most part, you just kept to yourself, trying not to bother anyone. But the witch doctor seemed to have it out for you, she hated you, but you knew that was because you couldn’t participate in her own experiments. You knew you never wanted to have kids, so you gave yourself an injury that made it so that you were barren. You almost died then, but you figured it was worth it since you didn’t have to be seen as just a walking womb to be played with.

Over time, you got yourself into a bit of a messy schedule. Not having a schedule was just something else that would make you go crazy. There wasn’t much to do in this space prison, but there was a rec room with games and books. You had exhausted all those resources pretty quickly. A rubik’s cube you were fond of was what you chose to be part of your schedule. Every day cycle, you’d try to solve that cube before going to sleep. It was one of the only things that helped you relax, besides the Box. But similarly to Monte, you didn’t really indulge all that often. The Box, even when you needed it, almost always left you numb. You weren’t one for human touch, but you weren’t immune to craving that intimacy. So the rubik's cube it was. You hogged it constantly, but that only got you a broken nose from Boyse due to it being one of her favorites too. But it didn’t matter. You claimed it for yourself, and nobody else cared enough to fight you on it.

Months into the mission, you started to notice Ettore around you more often. Most of the time, he’d just…stare at you. Openly. You’d never gotten attention from him before, so this sudden display startled you, but not enough to do something about it. It was only until he started to purposely bump into you in the halls did you start to worry. He was already a creep, but he only got creepier as he started to catch your gaze just to smile at you. Smiling didn’t suit his character, no matter how pretty it was. His lips were one of the first things you noticed when you met him, how soft and plump they looked. But a smile on them just looked out of place for the likes of a murderer. You certainly never smiled, you never had anything to smile about. You knew you’d get some odd looks if you were to suddenly flash your teeth.

You were just so on edge one day, the rubik’s cube wasn’t helping, so you went down to the Box. It was just a quick and easy session, just to relieve some tension. And it worked, until you ran into Ettore as you came out of the machine. You watched his already dark eyes darken even more as he saw the state of you. Sweaty, breathless, disarray. He looked like a wolf ready to pounce on you, but it was only the rules that held him back. No inmate was allowed to have sex with each other, hence the reason for the Box.

Ettore hummed as he placed a stray piece of hair behind your ear, letting his touch linger until you pushed him away roughly, but it only made him smirk and push you up against the cold wall of the Box. You glared as you felt his hard on pressing against your thigh, his hands keeping you firmly in place. “I bet your pussy would feel so good around my cock.” He almost moaned at the thought, biting his bottom lip. “If it weren’t for that cockblocking witch, I’d have you on every surface of this fuckin’ ship.”

You hated how your recently stimulated clit throbbed at his words, your body betraying you for the most primitive urges. Much like how good it felt to take a life, you knew it would feel good to fuck your fellow inmate. You wanted to tell yourself that he was a perverted murderer, you should not want to fuck him. But you were no better than him, no better than anyone here. But you pushed him off anyway, punching him in the gut and casually walking back to the ladder. “Enjoy the Box.” You spoke before climbing up, leaving the young man aching and angry.

You tried avoiding Ettore after that encounter, but of course that’s hard to do when you’re on a small ship with nowhere else to go. He didn’t hide the glares directed at you and he always seemed like he was about to do something, but never did. He was unpredictable, and you hated that. Everything about this mission was unpredictable, but you did have some control over what happened to you, Ettore was just another variable that you couldn’t control. You wanted him dead, but you didn’t know how you could get your way without ending up dead yourself.

Wandering the halls with nothing to do, you found yourself on the bridge looking up at the stars. The view always freaked you out, the sight of stars moving backwards even though the ship was moving forwards. It made you nauseous and a panic attack not too far behind. But you kept looking up through the large windows anyway. At least it made you feel something. Feelings tended to be sparse in deep space. You often wondered what it would be like to be stretched and compressed by a black hole. How badly would it hurt? Would you feel anything at all? Would it last for a second or an eternity? No one knows, and no one who finds out would be able to tell since they’d be reduced to atoms. Black holes are probably where Hell is located, you figured, if the theory that you’d be in unimaginable pain for all eternity is correct. You wanted to stop thinking about it, but you couldn’t. Not until you felt a warm presence come up behind you.

You didn’t have to guess who it was, by the stiff length that was pressing against your ass, you could already tell it was Ettore. The young blonde couldn’t take a hint, could he? You didn’t move away, for some reason that was unknown to you. Even as you felt his hands traveled around your waist, holding onto your hips with a bruising grip, you didn’t push him away. He took deep inhales of the scent of your hair, his hands traveling up to grope at your breasts as you continued watching the stars. You started to think about your sister, how she might react to the stars. You remembered the first time you pointed out a constellation you knew, teaching her about various different ones, knowing she was too young to remember. But it was one of your only fond memories. You held onto it, remembering her toothless grin as she got excited about learning something new.

You gasped as Ettore’s hand brushed against your clothed core, cupping it roughly until you winced. “Why waste time looking at these stars when I can make you see much prettier ones, hm?” He hummed in your ear, licking up the side of your neck, unwanted goosebumps rising all over your body.

“No.” You scoffed, pushing him off you, but he stopped you from walking away by grabbing your wrist.

“You want to.” He smirked smugly.

“No, I really don’t.” You tried pulling away, but his grip only tightened.

“Liar.”

“Fuck off!” You yelled, wringing your arm back and swiftly connecting your balled up fist to his nose. You grinned when he stumbled back, holding his hand to his face but seeing his blood flow through his fingers. He looked back up at you with a glare before leaping at you, tackling you to the floor, one hand around your throat and the other wailing on your face with his fist. Your ears rung as his fist landed right in front on your ear and feeling your nose and mouth fill with blood as he punched you. You spit your blood back in his face when you sensed a pause in his beating, leaning your head down as much as possible to bite his forearm of the hand that was grabbing your throat. You bit hard and didn’t let go until he recoiled with a shout, cradling his arm that now had a bloody teeth indent and a small chunk of flesh missing. You could still see the outline of his cock stressing against his orange jumpsuit. You could’ve laughed, the bastard was still turned on.

“Cunt!” He growled, but all you did was spit out the skin you took from his arm. “You can’t deny me forever.”

You raised your brows unimpressively, standing up while wiping the blood off your face with your sleeve. “Watch me.”

You stormed up with an aching face yet again, but you didn’t bother to visit Dibs, you didn’t feel like being scolded for defending yourself. But you ended up getting yelled at anyway for biting Ettore the way you did, your dose of medicine only being increased as a punishment. Seeing the bloody bandage around his arm almost made it worth it though.

The next few day cycles were a blur, the drugs making you sluggish and tired all the time. You didn’t even try to hide your disdain for Ettore every time you had to be around him and it made everyone feel tense, like they were waiting for a bomb to explode. You knew you couldn’t avoid him forever, but you sure did try. It was only a week later until that bomb finally exploded.

You had gone to the rec room before bed like you’d always done to try and solve that damned rubik's cube. You were so close, almost having solved all sides. But looking around the room, you couldn’t find it. You felt a panic attack start to bubble up in your chest, frantically searching everywhere around the room until you heard someone clear their throat.

“Lookin’ for something?” You frowned as Ettore came into view, him casually leaning against the doorframe, holding the small colorful box in his hand.

“Give it back.” You growled, your skin flushing with anger.

He only smirked, which made you ball your fists and stomp towards him. “No, I don’t think I will.” He chuckled when you tried to grab it from his hands, but he was taller than you and held it up where you couldn’t reach. You tried to repress a shiver when he ran one of his hands up your side where your shirt had ridden up, but you instantly pushed him away.

“Dick!” You seethed, the urge to punch his stupid face getting stronger and stronger.

He smiled softly. “I know. But if you give me what I want, I’ll give this back.” He juggled the cube back and forth between his hands, giving you an expectant look.

You stood as close as possible to him without touching, getting right in his face, not missing the way his eyes trailed down to your lips. “You can go fuck yourself.”

Ettore surged forward, roughly pressing his lips against yours with a growl, the sound going straight to your core; but you wouldn’t tolerate his behavior. You pulled yourself away and threw your fist against his face, then wound up to hit him again but he caught it this time. He grabbed your wrist tightly and pulled you to his chest, disregarding the rubik’s cube. “I’m getting fuckin’ sick of you hitting me.”

“Then stop acting like someone who deserves to be hit.” He cut you off by slapping you, grabbing onto your neck before kissing you again. You bit his bottom lip, hearing him let out a pained groan as your teeth cut into his sensitive flesh. “Let me go, or I’ll scream.” You demanded.

Ettore grinned evilly. “Go ahead. Scream. It’ll make it better for me.” You struggled as hard as you could against his hold on you, dragging your feet as he pulled you further into the room after shutting the door.

“I’ll fucking gut you, you piece of shit!” You yelled, clawing and kicking until he kneed you in the stomach, knowing the breath out of your lungs until you were wheezing. “Fuck…you…” You coughed, crumpling to the floor.

Ettore kneeled with you, powerless to stop him from removing your shirt, exposing your breasts to the cool air. You winced as he groped them roughly, forcing you on your back with one hand while the other ripped your pants and underwear off. Unwanted tears sprang to your eyes as you fought, just recovered enough from the blow to your stomach to scratch his face, droplets of blood pooling to the surface of his cheek. “Cunt.” He slapped you again, straddling your hips as he removed his own shirt but only unbuttoning his trousers.

“You disgust me.” You spat, glaring up at him.

You let out a yelp as Ettore shoved two of his long fingers inside you with no warning, his smirk making you feel more uncomfortable than the digits stretching your walls. “Really? Why is your pussy so wet then, eh?”

“Knowing that I hurt you gives me more satisfaction than that fuckin’ Box.” You hissed as he pinched your clit with a sadistic chuckle. He forced your legs apart, kneeling in between that as he took his hardened cock out of his pants, lining himself up with your entrance but with a great struggle since you didn’t stop wiggling around. Your head jerked to the side as he punched you a couple times, making you unresisting enough that he could fully sheathe himself inside of you. You let out a cry as he hit the ends of you, your walls clamping down on him, trying to expel the intrusion.

“Fuck!” Ettore groaned. “So much better than that Box. So warm. So tight.” He stuttered, moving his hips back and forth without giving you time to accommodate. The stretch burned and you couldn’t keep in your painful whimpers. Your cries only seemed to spur him on further, thrusting his hips at a faster pace, way too fast so early.

“Stop!” You cried, beating your fists against his chest erratically.

“Nah. You’re gonna take it. You’re gonna take it until I say we’re done.” He laughed, speeding up his thrusts to purposely make it even more painful for you. But instead of it hurting more, it had the opposite effect. His cock started to brush up against that sensitive spot inside you, eliciting a whine from your lips.

“You’re gonna fuckin’ die!” You growled angrily, baring your teeth like a cornered animal.

“Yeah?” He mocked, giving your cheek another slap just for good measure before continuing his brutal pace.

Eventually, your cunt produced so much slick, it was soaking his cock and your inner thighs, his pelvis shimmering in the dull fluorescent lighting of the ship. Lewd noises coming from your intimate union forced heat to spread across your cheeks, the wet suction echoing off the walls with every jolt of Ettore’s hips made an unwanted pang of pleasure shoot through your body, making goosebumps rise along your skin.

You hated that you were feeling pleasure from this. You were so ashamed, but god, it felt so much better than the pain of his cock splitting you open over and over again.

You felt so hot, a thin layer of sweat covering your entire body. Ettore on top of you made it even worse, his sweat coated body pressing up against yours, your breasts being squished under the weight of his chest. You were breathless as his dick kept brushing against your g-spot as he kept moving in and out of you rapidly, feeling your slick dripping off the curve of your ass and pooling onto a puddle on the cold floor. You couldn’t keep your moans in and against your hatred for the man, you allowed your body to relax and indulge in the euphoric sensations. Ettore’s smug smirk made it difficult however.

You looked to your right, seeing the discarded rubik’s cube sitting idly on the floor next to you. You didn’t hesitate to grab onto it tightly, hitting Ettore over the head with it again and again until he was weak enough to push him off of you. But instead of running like you should’ve done, you straddled him, pushing his cock back inside you and riding him, chasing that release that had already begun building in your core.

Ettore groaned with a smirk, looking up at you in a pleasured haze (and possible concussion). “I knew you wanted to fuck me.” You replied by punching him square in the jaw, busting his lip open deep enough that a small trail of blood slid down the side of his face. You shocked him by leaning down and licking the red substance, the metallic bitter taste coating your tongue and making you move your hips faster. His furrowed brows from the pleasure and pain spurred you on further, raking your nails down his chest hard enough until little droplets of blood beaded on his pale skin, his groan filling your ears and making your clit throb.

You placed both your hands around Ettore’s neck as you continued to thrust against him, squeezing harder and harder the closer you got to your climax. You smiled with a loud moan as you heard his choked gasps, his face getting red as he attempted and failed to breathe in the recycled oxygen. The sight of him struggling to breathe edged you closer and closer. But eventually, he started to fight against you, grabbing onto your hands to try and pry you off. You tried to dig your fingers tighter against his skin, determined to make him pass out at least, but he knocked you off him with a single strong punch to your cheek. “You can’t kill me that easily.” Ettore coughed out hoarsely, his near death experience not even being enough to take a break from fucking you. He took a deep breath and resumed plowing into you like you didn’t just almost kill him. “God, you’re so pretty beaten and bloody like this.” He moaned, grabbing onto your neck and squeezing like you had down previously, though not enough that’d you pass out. The lack of oxygen made the pleasure all the more intense, your walls clamping down on his cock as your release was right there. “Such a fuckin’ whore, aren’t you? I bet you’ve wanted this all along. You just needed to be put in your place, right? Don’t worry, I’ll never let you forget where you belong, what you’re good for. You’re just a pretty little toy whose only purpose is to be fucked and filled.”

You moaned as his words finally made that wave of ecstasy wash over you like a tsunami, powerful and unforgiving as it destroyed you, making your mind go blank as the only thing you could feel was that throbbing pleasure that knocked the breath out of you. Ettore groaned as your walls seemed to pull him in deeper, pulsing rhythmically as you rode out your high with shuddering high pitched moans and trembling limbs. It didn’t take long at all for him to reach his climax as well, pumping you full of his cum with a load strained groan, sweat dripping down the side of his face and mixing with his blood as he slumped against you to try and catch his breath.

You came out of your daze enough to feel him against you, hearing and feeling his deep breaths fan against your skin, making you panic and quickly push him off you; there was nothing he could do about it since he was so weak from his orgasm. You sat up with a huff, dressing yourself frantically, refusing to look at Ettore.

“I bet you’ve never come that hard before.” He voiced arrogantly, making you roll your eyes.

“I have.”

“Liar.”

You turned back around to glare at him. “If you try this shit again, I’ll kill you. That’s a promise.”

Ettore, still naked, stood up and pulled you to him by your waist with a smirk. “Forgive me if I doubt that. You sure seemed to enjoy yourself, slut. I wouldn't be surprised if you came crawling back for more soon.”

You scowled, unable to voice any retort like you usually did. You blamed your post orgasm haze. Ettore only hummed, dressing himself and walking past you, bumping your shoulder. You bit your lip hard until you tasted blood, hating yourself and him.

“Well, whenever you feel like you wanna be filled with a real cock again, you know where to find me.”

don't know where this came from honestly😬

[misrepresentedmorallygrey]

PROPAGANDA

Jean Vicquemare

He's a minor character with a surprising amount of depth when u look into it!! But he is also a Cop (derogatory) and I feel a lot of people take the few things we know about him and twist it into an entirely different entity separate from the source material. I think he's an interesting character and should also be catapulted into the sun <3

This could not be more of a divisive character in this Fandom, which is hilarious considering he doesn't even have that much screen time. He is either seen as the devil incarnate or a poor little baby who's so sad! Being a fan of him means it's just best to block his tag here on Tumblr otherwise you'll tear your hair out at how frustratingly people misrepresent his purpose in the story.

Dark Pit

Most of Dark Pit's mischaracterization comes from the fact that he's in SSBU- everyone assumes he's like every other nintendo clone; evil and just a 'bad' version of the original. But he's not!! Even the characters in his own game think he's just cruel by nature, when he's never actually done anything wrong. He's a dick, yes, but wouldn't you be a bit pissy if you kept getting dragged into a war you want no part in, called a name crafted specifically to belittle your own existence?

Dark Pit was created when Pit, the original, was on a mission to destroy a mirror that would copy anything that stood before it, since the villians were using it to create an army. It's incredibly important to note that it does NOT create 'evil' versions or even just copy the body and leave the personality at home. It's a 1:1 conversion. Unfortunately, the villians also knew Pit would destroy the mirror quite directly, standing in front of it (or more accurately, flying kicking towards it) and triggering the copy to be made. It was shattered midway through creation, creating Dark Pit- something the villians were hoping would happen, as Pit is the last angel to exist and they REAAAALLY want their own angel.

Immediately everyone assumes Dark Pit is just evil by default- even the villian is gloating about her new minion, but he immediately rejects that and punches the villian and helps you in the fight. He steals her power and flies away after, but its important to realize that Dark Pit could've just allied with the villians for the same result, and instead chose to be alone. Sure, he's kinda a dick to Pit, but he hasn't done anything outright evil. Just took a dead god's power in order to fly and left.

Cue the next mission where Palutena calls Dark Pit 'twisted' and 'inherently corrupt' like ma'am where??? Hes just an asshole cmon, you would be too if your birth parent is a reflective piece of glass. You go off on a mission to try and KILL him, and he obviously defends himself- once again, he's done nothing outright wrong. He's rude and aggressive, yes, but he literally doesn't want ANY part of all this war between gods shit, and here you are killing him for merely existing. During the final battle of the mission Dark Pit tells Pit that he is his reflection, and that they're the same person- Dark Pit is just more than willing to say the things Pit refuses to admit to himself.

AND HE'S RIGHT. Dark Pit believes the gods are selfish, are using Pit as a tool for their own gain, and that the world would be better off without them since all they ever seem to do is cause war and destruction. If you pay attention to how Pit reacts to the world around him, he DOES share these beliefs but instead of acting on them, he just buries it. Pit will even snap at the gods about half-way through the game, telling them outright that its THEIR war that is destroying the planet and that THEY'RE all at fault. Dark Pit is NOT an evil clone; he's an inversion. Everything Pit hides away, he wears on his sleeve, and interestingly, everything Pit openly is, DARK PIT STILL IS TOO. He, just like Pit, hides it away instead of admiting it.

After the fight Dark Pit runs away, and shows up mainly as an ally to Pit going forward. The game mentions further how kinda fucked up Dark Pit's whole situation is- if Pit's soul is removed from his body, Dark Pit just DOESN'T EXIST during that time. If Pit dies, Dark Pit dies, and he has no control over it. He never even gets his own name- its either Dark Pit, or his nickname of 'Pit two' (Pitto). If Pit ever attacks Dark Pit and tries to kill him, there's little Dark Pit could ever really do; In the game he'll defend himself and try and kill you, but at that point he's dead either way. His life is barely his own.

Worst part is, SSBU confirms Dark Pit allied with Viridi after the events of Kid Icarus Uprising. I cannot STRESS how horrible that is for his characterization so far. Viridi is the god of nature and hates humanity for even existing, with her first appearance being her dropping NUKES onto towns and cities to purge humanity. And Dark Pit now works as a commander under her. Either Viridi has to mellow out REAL damn fast and stop nuking medieval humans, or they accidentally wrote Dark Pit to be a Human Murderer (we specifically know Viridi sends her commanders to kill off anyone who survives her nature nukes). Really hope this stays in the realm of 'not canon' because holy shit there's so many better options to pick from than the 'little girl god with a hit list and a factory of bombs'.

(Not even sure WHY Dark Pit, who thinks gods are selfish and use angels like tools, would want to ally with a god. Yes, he can't fly without a god's help, but even then why ally with the most vindictive and murder-happy god that isn't Hades??? Poor dude really just needs a break from all the gods to sort out who he is and to start building his own life independently from Pit)

[kerubimcrepin]

Live-read: Dofus Heroes - Kerubim Tome 1 (part 1)

You can find this comic's physical version on Ankama's site, webtoon version on Allskreen, and Free Scans on various file-hosting websites that shall not be named.

Quick disclaimer: While I will be including french screenshots here, because it is a language that uses the latin alphabet, and everyone has that on their keyboards, all ready to type up in DeepL and Google translators — what I will actually be reading is a new fan translation in my native language, which does not use latin alphabet.

Time to quickly switch between two tabs because nobody has translated this comic into English. Yaay...

This comic has, as my fellow crepinjurgenology studies colleague @dullard put it, "thin god Ecaflip jumpscare"

Ecaflip looks a lot like Ush here, and I think it's way too malevolent. Part of the fun of him to me, is that he is an Evil Fucking Cat that looks like a cute cat. It makes his despicable actions more funny & interesting.

...Anyway, this comic came out during the run of the show, in 2013, and its sheer existence, — including its negative portrayal of ecaflip, its inclusion of blood and Kerubim's 20 mental illnesses, — is a direct confirmation of the show being an unreliable narrator story. (Though, we've been knew.)

This comic's most important function for this blog is that it will provide us with a well-needed glimpse at what Kerubim's adventures are like when he isn't retelling them to a 7-year-old child whose respect and approval he desperately craves.

The second Kerubim is fatally wounded, he gives up. Yet, Ecaflip saves him, without using one of his nine lives, just as he did in the Wheel of Destiny article.

I suppose it's one of his trump cards, isn't it?

But I am more interested in how at peace Kerubim is with death... It does make sense for Kerubim to hide some rather morbid feelings about his life behind his cheery facade, doesn't it?

It must be tiring. Losing your family, being a god's plaything, losing your brother, feeling like you have to constantly play the role of the cool womanizing warrior, and never unpacking your emotions about any of it. Death would feel like a relief from such weight.

Which makes Ecaflip's grip on his life feel more malicious.

I know, chances are, this comic, as well as most of the show, were made well before Kerubim's demigod status was thought of as a plot-point.

But even in terms of him being a demigod... I think that death would seem relaxing, despite its temporary nature, wouldn't it?

One of the main things of this whole comic is that Kerubim gets amnesia.

Harry Du Bois-ass character. Not only is he mentally ill, divorced, and has 20 layers of sad backstory, but also he got amnesia. God bless.

Yeah, this comic is more realistic and gritty than the show, but the cartoon shenanigans are still real. Thank god.

There's a reason why I think that a big part of Kerubim's character is his experiences with loneliness and isolation, and the way it makes him crave being loved and cared for, as well as how it makes him act out to get attention and popularity.

It's telling that while completely amnesiac, he identifies immediately with a small kitten, whom he immediately assumes is a "he" and "an orphan", and wants to take care of it.

It may seem like an innocuous moment at first, but "he is all alone" will become a reoccurring motif for Kerubim's mental state and subconscious in this comic, and it is the comic where we get the Orphan Kerubim reveal.

I already discussed the fact that I think Kerubim kept and adopted Joris due to Atcham-related guilt earlier on the blog, but I will take this moment to voice 2 other reasons:

Kerubim identifies with orphans and children easily. He would never leave Joris alone after looking at him and thinking "You're all alone. Like I was."

The idea of having a child would be very pleasant to someone as lonely as him. He struggles a lot with wanting to act in a way that will make people like him, and children are, by nature, inclined to like their parents even if they're complete losers.

Btw, if you follow my main, @joris-jurgen , you probably know that I headcanon Kerubim as having comorbid HPD and BPD. Because it fits. And because personality disorders are usually the result of insane levels of childhood trauma. And... my experience running this blog has so far not swayed me from this opinion in any way. This little paragraph was your Armchair Fictional Psychology Corner. This man can fit a lot of sadness and wanting to be loved in him.

Ecaflips confirmed to, just like real cats, have very good night vision.

...Aaand now I'm thinking about cute scenarios of Kerubim, Atcham, and Joris travelling at night, or navigating their home in the darkness.

(Because Joris doesn't have human eyes, as we've seen from the movie. And considering the way Grougaloragran's eyes reflect light in the Oropo ova, chances are, dragon eyes glow in the dark, the same way cats do. Which brings me to the point that, Joris's dragon-ish eyes would probably glow in the dark. Like a cat. Yeah, I am very sane, and should not be sedated in any way, readers.)

Crocosec has always wanted to have a butcher's shop and feed people with delicious food...

Ah, I don't know why, but my silly little detail-noticing from the first eps, where I pointed out that he has a meat shop, paying off? It makes me feel fuzzy. It's nice to know that the person who wrote this comic cared enough, and that it's something that was put in here with intent.

Anyway, I am about to be very normal about the next few pages.

*jumpscaring you by including a screenshot from the high-quality scanlation I am reading. Because this moment would be too blurry if I didn't.

He isn't even playing with any other kids... This is going to kill me, and not in a fun way.

The translation I am reading interprets the last line as "I would return to..." but it seems a bit wrong to me, especially considering my own research on language sentence-comparing sites.

What Kerubim pretty much says here, is that, he'd like to become a huppermage, and use magic to bring back his parents, sisters, and brothers.

While one could interpret that as Kerubim being lonely while being raised in an orphanage all his life without a family, I have a couple of counterpoints:

He calls the kitten "orphaned" specifically, which implies that there were parents, and that they aren't there anymore.

If it were just a family he wanted, he wouldn't be as specific as to say "sisters and brothers," besides just "parents," which leads me to assume that Kerubim means specific people he used to know (before they died).

3. Atcham is a Crepin too, as was revealed in the Dofus Movie. Logically speaking, if they were both given to the temple after being born, (and as we know, Atcham was at the temple, because Bashi knew him, according to Wheel of Destiny #8) they probably wouldn't have surnames, especially the same one.

4. Kerubim's unfunny joke about being the last in his family.

5. Wakfu: One More Gate's shopkeep being an ancestor of the Crepin family implies that Crepins are a real family that existed, and that, perhaps, Kerubim's affinity for selling stuff has to do with his early upbringing, before he was orphaned.

6. In the Dofus manga, Atcham says that a sword he owned, which was stolen from him, has been "passed in his family for generations", which yet again, points to them having a family to begin with.

All of this to say... What I think happened was far more devastating.

He had sisters and brothers, and two parents — it doesn't matter if the Crepin family was an adoptive one, or if it was made up of their biological mother, her husband, and half-siblings. Because they're all dead, and that's just... horrible.

A whole family, at the very least 6 people (if we assume that by "sisters and brothers", he means just two sisters and two brothers), wiped out.

...Oh, and one last thing.

7. I think that, as an adult, Kerubim did put some research into dark magic, with a hope of bringing his family back.

Just as he said he would.

....Though, as always, that might just be me reading too much into things. ╮(￣ ▽ ￣)╭

These aren't the tears of an orphan who wishes he had a family. These are tears of grief of a child who used to have one.

And Ecaflip, his biological father and God, is taunting him about it.

...I would speak on my deeplore conspiracy theory that perhaps Ecaflip himself is to blame for whatever happened to Kerubim and Atcham's family, — to get Kerubim, or both of them, isolated, and under his thumb, — but perhaps it's just me being actually clinically insane.

[rxyhiraeth]

SO PJO CAME OUT TODAY

and i have a lot of thoughts

this is just me screaming into the void about this show that i’ve been excited about since it’s been announced.

i haven’t personally really read the books in a bit, so if i am remembering things incorrectly or forgetting if something was in the books or not, forgive me (and correct me and my terrible memory)

OBVIOUSLY SPOILERS AHEAD

EPISODE 1: I Accidentally Vaporize My Pre-Algebra Teacher

first off - chapter titles. i knew about this a while ago but im so happy we are doing this

getting the whole speech from percy in the beginning oh we are so back

blackjack??? that was blackjack right??

MYTHOMAGIC CARDS

if this gets us actual mythomagic cards we can buy, so help me god. i’m gonna spend all my money on them

i will never be able to speak highly enough about sally jackson. best fictional mom ever and i love her with all of my heart.

the “hold fast perseus. brave the storm” parallel at the beginning and end of the episode oh i’m sick to my stomach

the fountain scene felt a little… goofy? from what i remember percy just remembers her ending up in the fountain,like it sounds like he kinda blacks out. maybe that’s actually how it was in the books, but i did imagine it differently.

grover and brunner being the KINGS of gaslighting

percy is stronger than i could ever be if grover exposed me like that i couldn’t talk to him for like a year.

the biggest issue i’ve seen everyone talk about: gabe. i understand WHY they made him how he is in the tv show. it’s a disney show, they can’t have him be completely book accurate putting his hands on sally and threatening percy for money so he can play poker, but i feel like this doesn’t fit with how he ends up at the end of book 1. maybe we will see a more ‘evil’ side to him through the news interviews and stuff, or he will have a different ending, but i feel like the way he acts now doesn’t justify his end in book 1 that i expect to see in the tv show.

sally in the rain listening to olivia rodrigo i love her so much 😭😭😭

d’angelos??? it’s spelled differently but reference perhaps? i cannot WAIT to see nico i hope we get to see him in the casino

i didn’t get this until i saw someone point it out but the cuts to black were ends of chapters!! and it makes so much more sense. i will say it feels a bit odd?? but i honestly prefer it more as someone who has read the books.

i find the whole sally explaining the gods to percy interesting. it fits for the tv show more, but i love book percy just getting forced into camp half blood without any real knowledge just like “what the fuck is going on”

“Like… like Jesus?” PERCY PLS

i love this grover reveal, but the BEST will forever be the musical

“She was a fury!” “YOU’RE a furry, WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR LEGS?!?”

grover dropping the fact he is 24 in a super intense scene is very grover

that first shot of thalia’s tree lit up by the LIGHTNING gave me CHILLS

the entire minotaur scene was incredible. sally’s speech to grover and percy. percy killing the minotaur. insane

not to mention sally taking percy’s jacket to throw off the minotaurs scent? such a cool choice

EPISODE 2: I Become Supreme Lord of the Bathroom

"you droll when you sleep" YUPPP MHMM YUP

ik that the whole 'Mr. D trying to use percy to get a drink' thing is supposed to be a little joke, but its also such a good way to explain the whole "gods can get their kids to steal shit for them because they can't do it themselves" without having a whole dramatic moment explaining it.

in my head I imagined the entire camp being very heavily wooded, maybe that's just the movies having some influence over me when it comes to visualization, but it was cool to see the camp in the actually valley in a very book accurate portrayal.

OH THE CABINS MY EYES WERE GLUED THE WHOLE TIME

THEY LOOK SO GOOD

this tv show has already captured the two personally traits of percy jackson: 1. he loves his mom 2. he hates the gods

the jelly beans

seeing Luke befriend percy and be his first friend at camp luke I am in your fucking walls

I personally feel like the way they have chosen to portray clarisse is quite different from the books, but I absolutely love it. i was not a fan of her for a while in the books, but I love her immediately in this version.

also did we get to 'see' the cloven council in tlt? I don't think we did, and I like seeing it in prep for sea of monsters.

the entire scene of percy praying to his mom breaks me. oh my god. favorite scene in the entire show so far. it breaks my heart he loves and misses her so much.

"I think I've made some friends here. like real friends" luke I have a gun

the whole bathroom scene. that's it.

ANNABETH

maybe its just different seeing all these characters portrayed well on the screen, but she feels super different than book annabeth but also exactly the same. im not 100% how to explain it but there is no one better to play annabeth than leah

I am so excited to see this slowburn all over again

"she my little sister" luke please

thalia name pronunciation how are we feeling team

i have 100% been pronouncing it the other way this whole time but oh well

"sunshine" hey! when we get the first "seaweed brain" I am going to go crazy

"percy's on it. when its time he's gonna be ready" are you sure about that luke

in the books the main 'introduction scene' we got with clarisse was the bathrooms, but this scene with her in the woods feel much more like an introduction scene and im not sure if this was done on purpose, but I love her and this scene.

annabeth. I cannot stress my love for her enough

annabeth pushing him into the water instead of him falling. love her

percy FINALLY finding a place he belongs only to be forced out on a quest for his dad that he fucking hates

"good kid" from tlt musical was so right

"I am Sally Jackson's son!" what if I just started eating glass rn

anyway I am absolutely obsessed with this show already. I am so sorry to anyone who doesn't want pjo on their feed you are getting it anyway.

if this show is your first introduction to the series. read the books! or at least the lightning thief. and for the love of god LISTEN TO THE MUSICAL. I cannot stress enough how good of a portrayal of the book it is and it is my all time favorite interpretation of the books (although this show may take that top spot soon).

[paragonrobits]

there's a few ships i specifically dislike because they did not happen in canon and their supporters complain non-stop about how the series personally betrayed them (often for a relationship which is not only noncanon but the characters in question barely interact and this hypothetical relationship is unrelated, or even contrary, to their narrative arcs) but a lot of the discourse they create around this is also eerily similar to the discourse you see with people propping up a faction or group that is inherently antagonistic and, using very similar arguments, these people straight up make up stuff to make these groups look better, and their opponents (the canonical protagonists, the characters they view as romantic rivals for their fanon ship) as being villified in very similar ways.

Let's take, for example, that One ATLA Ship. You know the one. The one that those big name fans never shut up about; the most frustrating discourse about it is that the diehard shippers have straight up invented all manner of details and criticisms that have no actual relationship to canon, and this is important because the validity of their arguments revolves entirely around these facts they've made up and have no basis in canon.

Lets take, for example, the ever popular 'Katara should become a bad ass Fire Lady and rule over the Fire Nation' fic concept. A lot of this premise requires certain details that either directly antithetical to established canon, or presume aspects of the character that are not canonical. The Fire Lady has never been shown to have any real political power at all, and novels have indicated that the consort to the Fire Lord has only one purpose: to produce heirs. That's it. They have no political power at all. And to be blunt, these fans SHOULD realize this because the Fire Nation has been established as exactly the sort of empire that puts all its power in the hands of an autocrat revered as a god-king.

Other facts further tear down this notion. Katara is characterized as wanting freedom and happiness for everyone, regardless of nation, but she is also characterized as someone who loves her homeland and would prefer to live there, and not abandon her cultural customs and visual details (as much of the Fire Lady Katara imagery does, having her dress entirely in FN style, including her hair, which is culturally an extremely loaded thing, as I understand it). She certainly doesn't give the indication of wanting to rule over an enemy nation like a conqueror. I think a lot of this mentality comes from the idea of 'absolute power = empowerment' to some people, which is also where we get the whole girlboss concept; the idea of absolute political power equating to personal empowerment and being liberating, rather than it being exercising power over others, with all the moral difficulties that entails.

The arguments of the people who support this concept relies heavily on aspects of her character which do not exist in canon or she has given no indication of but her existing characterization leans towards 'no', both in terms of romantic interest and long-term goals. She is the last waterbender of the Southern Water Tribe. She wants there to be more waterbenders from the Southern Water Tribe, and living the rest of her life in a nation populated by the people who systemically destroyed her people's culture and killed most of them is not in any part suggested as something she would want to do.

Now, consider the Sith. In Star Wars canon, they are a pretty blatant faction of bad guys. They are built, from the ground up, to be evil. Their philosphy explicitly hates compassion and any form of love outside the context of possession; their ideology revolves around selfishness and weaponizing hatred, and just about every iteration and established character is incredibly cruel, heartless and even the most reasonable of them, so much so that they are no longer considered Sith, constantly yell at you if you do things like 'give homeless people money' or 'help anyone for any reason that does not further your personal goals'.

There are no canonically good Sith. You cannot be a good person and a Sith, because their ideology explicitly forbids things that generally make a person moral and kind, and that same ideology expressly encourages hatred, jealous possessiveness, and betraying others for gain. When we see Kylo Ren in the first movie of the sequel trilology throwing a violent temper tantrum that could kill anyone nearby when he lost his temper, that's the logical conclusion of all Sith mindsets.

However, the Sith are very widely believed in fandom circles to be more inherently moral or capable of heroism compared to the Jedi.

Part of it, I think, comes from the Jedi's philosophy discourages certain things that people tend to romanticize or believe are essential; its very common to believe in the idea of love being inherently ennobling or making you a better person, in family as the ultimate good, and personal being the most important thing. The Jedi do not permit marriage if you are a part of the order (and its crucial to mention here that leaving the Order is perfectly fine and usually doesn't even have any stigma; Dooku did so and he was well regarded by the Jedi until his actions were revealed), they don't usually have children and instead adopt children into their culture, and their philosophy stresses about letting go from attachment, due to the nature of attachment as inherently jealous and thus giving the Dark Side a way into your spirit.

It is important to remind a reader here that this is NOT attachment as in 'cares for someone' or 'values another'. The term instead is used in the philosophical definition of attachment as jealous possessiveness or, at the very least, the inability to accept that all things fade; everyone dies, or all relationships end one way or another. The desperation to keep those things by clawing at them or pulling them closer is attachment; causing harm, to yourself or others, because you cannot accept the inevitable. This is fairly basic philosophical stuff.

However, because these Sith apologists refuse to accept either the Sith being the big bad villains of the franchise or what the series means about attachment, they view the idea of attachment as a moral good in its own, believing the Sith to be inherently more noble than the Jedi because they believe that a personal attachment induces morality. Just because you care about ONE person does not mean you care about others.

Many people in real life love their friends and family deeply, but could not care less about anyone outside that family. Consider the classic case of a family man or woman who loves their family, kisses their children goodnight, is unfailingly faithful to their spouse, and then goes to work and tortures people for a living, or participates in genocide and the systematic oppression of other people, all without the faintless twinge of guilt or moral compromise.

Caring for a specific person does not induce universal compassion. Love for a speciifc person is exactly that; just love for a particular person. It doesn't guard you from indifference, callousness, or anything at all.

So, its very interesting to me that a lot of these fandom obsessions, despite being very different, have very similar arguments going on about them; whether its AtLA fandom trying to argue that Aang is the most evil person in the universe actually, or insist that the Sith could secretly become the greatest heroes in the setting, while ignoring both Aang being a compassionate hero while his foils are explicitly selfish (and crucially, KATARA is also just as compassionate and not focused solely on her loved ones), and the Sith's iconic technique being a torture beam.