#and its still something im self conscious about / not confident in so just thank you for saying you are enjoying the fic

[allylikethecat]

i just needed to tell you that i reread the last couple chapters of on a friday and BOOOOOOy

you wrote that sooo well i am sooo excited for more

Thank you so much for reading and for saying that about On a Friday oh my gosh. I know I have been very vocal about it (sorry) but writing smut is not something I am confident in at ALL and is way out side of my confidence zone. It took a lot of pep talks to get myself to not only WRITE those scenes but to also post them and then I sent myself spiraling worrying that they were the worst thing I had ever written and that I had just epically embarrassed myself BUT I was met with so much kindness and support that I still can't believe it. So thank you SO MUCH for sending me this message and these kind words it means more than you even know. I am so grateful for everyone who has taken the time to read OAF and send me a message about it!! I hope you continue to enjoy the OAF and I will hopefully have an update ready soon!! Thank you so much for the continued support! I hope you are having the BEST weekend and that you have a wonderful rest of your week!

❤️Ally

[dambaepuff]

hey hi, could i make a request? Im happy to see another good author starting :) u also seem very nice. could i request a yoongi x preferably fem!reader? if you want you can make it a genderneutral fic. my idea was a scenario were one of them is jealous, i thought of it being her jealous of him, over something stupid, but not in a toxic way like yk just pure jealusy mixed with insecurities. And they have a little petty argument and like it ends with smut i mean they make up to eachother that way :P like smut mixed with fluff at its purest. also, i am really curious to see how u write yoongi, i see many authors making him cold and tough but i believe that he is a very caring softie haha, by the morning wood headcanons, i think you got him very well ;) thank u in advance

REGRETS (m)

Pairing: Idol!Yoongi x FEM!Reader

Genre: angst, fluff, smut, one shot, request, established relationship

Warnings: jealousy, insecurities, a petty argument, depictions of sex, crying, emotional, oral sex (f receiving), vaginal fingering, bodily fluids, penetration (vaginal), a bit of praise, light biting, squirting

Word count: 5k

Summary: uhhh idk dude just read the request that’s pretty much it

A/N: UGH I LOVE THIS IDEA!! I don’t have much experience with writing angst so this was a really nice exercise. Thank you sooo so much for all the kind words, it’s what keeps me writing. I’m also a sucker for soft Yoongi so this is right up my alley. (Also this is not proofread so lmk if there’s any mistakes or anything)

Thursday night, it’s quiet outside. You’re trying to watch a movie with Yoongi. Key word trying. His hand has been gently rubbing your thigh for a few minutes now, whenever he tries sliding it up to tease you, you grab it and put it back onto his lap. He’s clearly trying to get you heated, but it’s having quite the opposite effect. Lately you’ve felt quite out of it, your lack of confidence causing you to avoid intimacy. With Yoongi being the gentleman he is, he always accepts it when he realizes you’re not in the mood and he moves on. However, you’re starting to doubt his ability to keep going like this. What if he realizes you aren’t satisfactory to him anymore? He could easily find someone else who would be all over him in seconds.

Replaceable. That’s how you’ve been feeling lately. He could have anyone he wants, so why you? “Are you not feeling it tonight?” Yoongi’s voice startles you out of your thoughts. “Huh? Oh. No I’m sorry.” You respond, your voice growing quieter with the end of the sentence. “That’s okay, c’mere.” He mumbles before pulling you into his chest, his hand soothing down your back.

‘Will he stay with me if I keep pushing him away like this?’ Is what you keep asking yourself. On one hand you’re afraid he’ll stop loving you if you stop showing him affection. And on the other hand, you’ve been so self conscious lately about your body and if you’re doing things right you don’t know if it’s worse to ruin the relationship by pushing him away or by not being good enough. ‘Do I even deserve to be with him at this point?’

Friday, 4:37PM. You got off work early today so you decided to stop by Yoongi’s studio. He’s still working so you’re lounging around on one of the couches inside of the room. The two of you had made plans to get dinner together when he finishes up for the day which you’re really looking forward to.

A short blurry figure appears at the studio door, they raise their hand up and place three quiet knocks onto the glass. Yoongi gets up with a huff and opens the door. In front of him stands a familiar woman, you can’t quite remember her name, but you’ve seen her around the company building before.

“Here’s your coffee Suga!” She says in a cheery tone. Her eyes land on you and her smile falls a bit. “Oh, I didn’t know you would be here. Sorry I didn’t get you anything.” She apologizes with a light bow of her head. You dismiss her with a wave of your hand before going back to fidgeting with the hem of your sweater. She turns her attention back to Yoongi who is setting his drink down onto his desk. “Hey Suga, a few of us are going to that barbecue place down the street for dinner and drinks tonight. Do you guys wanna come with?” She asks with a tilt of her head, her long black hair swaying with the movement.

“Uhh, yeah?” He looks at you quickly for confirmation to which you nod your head lightly. “Yeah. Sure we’ll come.”

Yoongi continues chatting with the girl. She casually leans against the door frame, the conversation between them flowing oh so easily. ‘It took me ages to be able to talk to him that smoothly. Why couldn’t I be like her?’ You think to yourself, trying your best to not let your irritation show.

He bids her farewell and sits back down at his desk. For the remaining time you spend in his studio all you can look at is him. Your gaze burns holes into his side profile, tracing each curve of his features over and over again. Why would a man whose heart only knows kindness, whose eyes and soul are so understanding of everything be with you? Your being is rotten with unforgiving bitterness, you seethe at every imperfection like a nun enraged by sin. Why would he want you?

He’s like a wild flower. He needs to be pollinated by the love and kindness of a bee to bloom, yet he stays with you, a caterpillar feeding off of him, biting off his flesh for your gain. Eating away at him and leaving nothing. Maybe you aren’t even a caterpillar. They can eventually turn into a beautiful creature with wings of eyeful colors, yet you can’t become anything more than what you are. You’re stuck in a vicious cycle, devouring every resource without paying any mind to the fact there will be nothing left when you’re done. What does he get for loving you if you can’t be of use? You can’t make him bloom.

“(Y/N)? (Y/N)!” You snap out of your thoughts, the reality around you giving you whiplash. Yoongi is kneeling in front of you, holding your jacket out. “Let’s go, we’ll be late.” You try to take it from his hands, but instead of giving it to you he holds it up so you can slip your arms inside. Once it’s on you he turns you around and zips it up for you. “Okay, let’s go.”

As you’re walking down the long hallways towards the elevators, Yoongi notices something odd. You usually grab onto his hand the moment you start walking somewhere together, but your hand is tucked away in your pocket now. He gently pulls it out and intertwines your fingers together. You can’t bring yourself to grip onto him like usual, instead you limply keep your hand at your side, letting him hold it. He’s a bit confused by this, but nevertheless he keeps holding you, his grasp only growing tighter in an effort to reassure you.

Yang Sunhee. Her name popped up in your head the moment she sat down across from you and Yoongi at the long wooden table. She’s been leading the conversation at your part of the table for a while now, mostly talking to Yoongi. To her credit she has tried to include you into the conversation a few times, but you didn’t really give her much to work with so she gave up.

You’ve been pushing your food around your plate for a while now. It’s mostly pieces of meat Yoongi placed down onto it for you, your favorite in fact. You just can’t get yourself to even place anything into your mouth, anxiety squeezing your throat so tightly you can barely even swallow your own saliva.

Sunhee is laughing at something, her eyes bright and her large smile hidden away behind a polite hand. Yoongi is laughing too, maybe not as hard as her, but he’s still laughing. ‘Why am I not the one making him laugh right now? Am I not funny anymore?’

As you’re glaring down at your food you feel a warm hand make contact with your shoulder. “You wanna go home?” Yoongi asks quietly, tucking a stray piece of hair behind your ear. “Yes please.” You breathe out, barely audible. On the drive home Yoongi tries asking what’s wrong multiple times, but all he gets in response is a simple “I just don’t feel too well.”

It’s been a few days now since you had dinner with Yoongi’s coworkers. He realized something was wrong so he’s been giving you some space. To be quite honest you aren’t sure if the space is helping or making it worse. After spending the whole day quietly sobbing to yourself in bed you decide to see what he’s up to. You find him sitting in the living room watching some sort of documentary and looking like he’s about to fall asleep. One of his cheeks is squished against a pillow and his hair is going on all the wrong directions. He looks adorable, your heart almost breaks in two knowing this is who you’ve been pushing away lately.

Taking a seat next to him, he lifts up his blanket so you can use it too. Just as you’re getting sleepy as well his phone pings on the coffee table. Instinctively you reach down for it so you can hand it to him, but when you see the contact name annoyance squeezes at your chest.

Yang Sunhee

Sent a message

“Why is she texting you?” The question slips from your mouth before you can even think it through. “I don’t know, let me see.” He responds while extending his hand out for the phone. You peer over at the screen, shamelessly trying to see what she sent. “Ah it’s just the schedule for next week.” He says and likes the message before setting his phone back down. Now you feel a bit guilty. Why were you questioning the intentions of this woman? She’s his employee after all.

Yoongi’s large hand comes up to cup your face, his thumb gently gliding over your cheekbone. “I know that look, what’s wrong baby?” He asks, his dark eyes skimming your face in search for answers. “It’s nothing.” You respond a bit too quickly, your tone stiff. The corner of Yoongi’s lip quirks up. “You’re jealous, aren’t you?”

Your eyes shoot open, “N-no!” you sputter out a weak defense. His hand slides down to your chin, the grip tightening a bit. His smirk spreads into a smile which angers you. He thinks this is funny?

“Don’t fucking touch me right now.” You say in a way harsher manner than you intended, tearing his hand away from your face. A flash of hurt runs over Yoongi’s face, his smile instantly falling. “Don’t look at me like that! I just- I need a moment right now.” You say in an apologetic tone. “You need a moment? I’ve been giving you a moment for days now. What about me? I keep trying so hard and you don’t show an ounce of being grateful. What’s your problem?” His tone gets louder as he talks, anger evident in his facial expressions.

“Problem? Oh it’s a problem now that I can’t always feel one hundred percent happy? Go sleep with some happy drugged out whore then if that’s what you want!” Without realizing it your tone has risen to a yell, you’re standing now, no longer in the comfort of warm blankets on the couch. “Don’t yell at me!” He yells back, tears beginning to brim his eyes.

“You’re yelling too asshole! Oh you’re gonna cry? Go cry to Sunhee, maybe she can suck your dick to make it better if you can’t go a week without me sucking it!” The moment you finish the last sentence a silence falls over the apartment. Yoongi stares at you wide eyed, unable to form a single sentence.

He looks like a kicked puppy, his eyes watery and his hands trembling. Realizing you went to far the only thing that pops up in your head is leaving the apartment for a bit. You speed walk to the front door, tugging your shoes on quickly and pulling a random jacket on. “Hey, hey! Where are you going?” Yoongi follows you once he realizes what you’re doing. Unable to look at his face you grab your keys and walk out, slamming the door behind you.

Not knowing where to go you walk to the nearest park. Taking a seat on one of the benches you stare up at the moon. “Why did I say that?” You mumble to yourself, tears stinging at your eyes. Your throat contracts, guilt choking you. There’s no holding back now, you let your sobs loose, tears running down your face uncontrollably.

“(Y/N)? Is that you?” A soft voice calls out to your right. Your head shoots up, trying to find the source of the sound. There stands Sunhee, she seems to be in her pajamas with a puffer jacket thrown on top. Her hair is a mess and she’s holding a leash. A little white dog sniffs around near her legs, you assume it’s her’s.

“What’s wrong?” She asks as she sits down next to you. “Ah don’t worry about it.” You mumble, sniffling lightly. “You’re so pretty (Y/N), I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone look good while they cry before.” Sunhee says with a genuine smile. “I- uh what?” You tilt your head to the side in confusion. “If I didn’t have a girlfriend I’d be jealous of Suga for having a girlfriend as pretty as you.” She giggles lightly.

“WHAT?” The question comes out harsher than you intend, the whole situation confusing you. “Listen, if you ever leave Suga just give me a call.” She says with a playful wink. You laugh in disbelief, your tears completely gone now. “You’re funny Sunhee.” You say, still sniffling lightly. “I’m not joking, but thank you.” She giggles along with you.

“Now why are you outside so late?” She asks while pulling her dog up into her lap. “I had a fight with Yoongi, I didn’t really know where else to go. I’m kind of scared to face him right now.” You answer truthfully. “Girl, have you seen how he looks at you? That man is a goner, I’m sure whatever you argued about isn’t that bad. You should go home and apologize, you can talk it through.” She says while giving you an encouraging smile. “You think so?” You ask quietly. “I know so.”

Even with Sunhee’s encouragement you’re still unsure. Guilt wracks through your whole body, pressing down on your insides and making you nauseous. You try to be as quiet as possible when you enter the apartment, but the sound of the heavy front door closing and jingling of keys betrays you. Just as you’re taking your shoes off you hear shuffling down the hallway. Yoongi’s dark figure emerges, you’re ready to hear something nasty from him, but instead you’re met with two warm arms wrapped around you.

“Thank god you’re safe.” He mumbles before kissing the top of your head. “I’m sorry Yoongi, I’m so sorry baby. Please don’t leave me. I didn’t-“ you’re cut off by a hiccup, your tears returning. “I didn’t mean to say any of that. Please, please don’t leave me I’ll never do that again…” You sob into his chest. “Shhhhh, I know you didn’t mean it, I should’ve done some things differently too.” His hand softly pets your head.

“I’ve been trying to figure out why you’ve been acting so weird lately and I think I get it now. You look at her like she killed your dog. You know she’s a lesbian right?” You can’t help but laugh a bit at that. “Yeah I kind of found that out just now.” You mumble, your fingers tangling into the material of his shirt. “Why don’t you like her?” You can feel him softly smile against your hair as he asks the question.

“I don’t know I just-“ You try to form the right words, but they won’t come. “Ugh! She’s just so pretty and she’s really open, it feels like she’s perfect and has everything you could need and I’m just sort of me? I don’t know, it’s stupid. I’m just projecting.” Yoongi listens intently to everything you say while he takes your jacket off. “Lately I’ve felt like the shell of who I was when you met me, you know? I’m just sort of bleh- and every other woman around me seems to have her shit togehter.” A tear runs down your cheek and Yoongi chases it away with his thumb.

“It’s why I’ve been avoiding having sex lately. I just feel gross and ugly while you… you look like you were sculpted by the ancient Greeks. You need a Hera to your Zeus. I’m like a satyr or something!” You let out a bitter laugh, trying to mask your feelings. “Hmm I think we’re more like Orpheus and Eurydice. Except I don’t want to lose you the way he lost her. They were such perfect lovers, yet there was something tragic about them. What’s love without tragedy?” He softly spoke, continuing to wipe your tears. You let out a genuine laugh and hit his chest lightly. “You idiot! You don’t get it.”

“I think I at least partially get it. I mean hell you make my knees weak whenever you look me in the eye woman, and we’ve been dating for years! I’d go to the pits of hell for you a million times more than Orpheus if it meant having a bit more time to spend with you. There’s no other person that could fulfill your role in my life as well as you do. I love you for you, you’re my muse. My light.” He places a ginger peck onto your forehead.

Love and desire suddenly flood through you, grabbing the collar of his shirt you pull him into a rough kiss. A few more tears make their way past your eyelids, but these ones of relief and joy rather than sadness and frustration. Yoongi gladly accepts your advances, kissing you back firmly. He barely wastes any time trying to get his tongue intertwined with yours. Your interwoven muscles becoming a metaphor for your souls combining together, the act of physical intimacy projecting your consciousness into one being, content and whole.

One of your hands shoot up to grip his hair a bit tighter than necessary which makes him release a deep moan. He pants against your lips, trying to catch his breath, but unable to fully separate your bodies. As he had endured yearning for you such a torturous amount, how could he let you go now?

He presses you flat against the door, holding you down chest to chest. His cold hands slide up your shirt, the contrast of temperature making you shiver. Caressing the skin of your stomach so lightly it tickles, he snakes one of his hands behind your back, swiftly unclipping your bralette in one movement. You let it drop to the floor, the only thing on your mind right now being the feeling of his body on yours. With his hands lightly ghosting over your breasts now, you shudder each time one of his fingers brushed against your nipples. Slowly he pulls your shirt off, the cold night air bites at your skin making your nipples harden. Instinctively your arms shoot up to cover yourself, but Yoongi stops you. He firmly grips your wrists and pins them down above your head.

Now fully exposed to him, he looks you in the eyes before licking a fat stripe from the area between your breasts to your neck. Lightly blowing onto the wet part of your skin, you take in a deep breath from the sensation. He begins to trail kisses down to your chest, letting go of your hands so he can bring you as close to him as possible. You tug at his hair softly as he mouthes at ode of your breasts, his tongue lightly teasing the soft bud. He groans softly before kissing down lower so he can get onto his knees.

He kneels before you know, unashamed of the submissive position he’s in. His teeth occasionally graze your stomach between sloppy open mouthed kisses. Looking up at you through his lashes, Yoongi starts undoing your pants. He pushes them down as if they’re getting in the way and moves his kisses down to your thighs. His uncalculated mouth moves dangerously close to your clothed cunt. Hovering over it he purposefully breathes through his mouth so you can feel his warm breath on your skin. You gasp when he suddenly pressed his nose against your pussy and inhales deeply. You can peel the tips of your ears heating up from embarrassment, but Yoongi doesn’t seem to care in the slightest.

“Ugh, fuck how I missed this part of you.” He groans as he kisses over the thin fabric. Finding your clit almost immediately he starts to roll his tongue against it through your panties. Your arousal and his saliva mix together in the material causing an uncomfortable need for real contact.

“Yoongi, take it off already…” you whisper to him, brushing his bangs out of his face. Looking up at you with a cheeky smirk he grabs onto the hem of your underwear with his teeth, making sure to lightly graze your sensitive skin with them as he pulls down. Your panties don’t even have the chance to reach the floor and his mouth is already on you again. He runs his tongue through your folds, making you instinctively angle your hips to give him more access. Heedlessly circling your clit with his tongue, he occasionally sucks on it or flicks it. You’re unsure if his mouth is glistening from his own saliva or from your wetness, but the sloppy noises he’s making are causing you to involuntarily buck your hips into his mouth.

“You’re so beautiful like this, my sweet girl.” He mumbles as he pulls away, nuzzling his head into your thigh. Replacing his tongue with his fingers, you let out a quiet moan when he slips them inside of you. “I love having you like this, only for me to see. You know I’d never do this for anyone else, right?” He emphasizes the question by pressing his fingers down against your sweet spot. ”Shit, Yoongi. I love you so much, no one makes me cum like you do.” Your response comes out in a dragged out whine.

Satisfied with your reply his mouth returns to your clit while his fingers work you open. The combination of sensations makes an orgasm built up in your abdomen fast. “Yoon- Yoongi, I’m gonna ah- I’m gonna cum!” You moan out, trying to warn him. This only encourages him to go faster as an orgasm ripples through you in harsh waves, your head falling back against the door as your eyes roll into the back of your head. You spasm slightly as he continues to work your cunt, trying to pull him away so he doesn’t overstimulate you.

He licks off your juices from his fingers, wiping his lips with the back of his hand. As soon as he’s back on his feet you go in for a kiss, leaning on him for support while still coming down from your high. He refuses to let your lips part as he leads you to the bedroom, his shirt and pants getting lost along the way.

“Lay down baby.” He mumbled against your lips as he led you to the bed. Kneeling down between your legs he made sure you were comfortable on your pillow. No matter how basic, missionary was always the best when you needed to express your love sexually. Parting your lips he pulls you down a little so your thighs are pressed together. He grabs his erect cock out of his underwear, not even bothering to get rid of the boxers. Pumping it a few times he gives you a dopey look, a lazy smirk spreading on his face.

“You ready?” He rasps out, rubbing the tip of his cock against your swollen clit, mixing his precum together with the aftermath of your previous orgasm. “A little too ready.” You replied, running a hand through your hair. “Mmm I can tell.” He teases while spreading the natural lubricant over his cock. Slowly he pressed the tip in, “Fuck, it’s going in so easily, o barely had to prep you. You really want it, don’t you?” his brows crease together in pleasure as he slowly bottoms out. “Yes, fuck Yoongi I want your cock so bad.” Your hand shoots up to grab onto his shoulder, biting your lip at the fullness.

“Please, (Y/N). Can I move?” He murmured, holding onto your hips tightly. “Yes, fuck me Yoongi.” You replied, grabbing his face to place a wet kiss onto his lips. He let out a low moan as he started thrusting into you, the warmth and wetness of your cunt feeling better each time he fucked it. You lightly squeezed your walls on purpose knowing it drives him crazy. “Oh my- ah shit I won’t last long at all if you do that.” He said breathily, his hips jerking forward involuntarily. You hooked one of your legs onto his hips, pulling him forward so he’s pressed into your cunt as deeply as possible. The both of you groaned at that, as soon as you let go he started thrusting into you with a quicker pace. His movements rapidly increased with each slap of skin that echoed throughout the space, his head thrown back. That look on his face means he’s absolutely lost in please and that makes you proud. He molds so perfectly inside you it makes all of your doubts melt away, it’s like he was made for you.

Matching the pace of his thrust to his fingers flicking your clit, Yoongi can swear he can feel you pulsating around him. “Ah, fuck (Y/N) I think I’m gonna cum already. Shit I’m sorry it just feels too good.” He groans, the already pink tips of his ears darkening. “It’s okay, go ahead baby, cum inside me.” You breathily respond, continuing to moan with each of his thrusts. He speeds up before abruptly stopping, the feeling of his warm seed filling you up making you clench around his cock. “Wait, shit, shit run my pussy please I’m so close too.” His fingers immediately speed up on your clit, furiously flicking it as your abdomen tightens again. As the hot white pleasure rips through your whole body, making your muscles spasm you hear a wet noise. Looking down the moment you can open your eyes you see Yoongi’s lower stomach covered in a clear liquid.

“Did you just make me squirt?” You laugh in disbelief. “That’s a first.” He mumbles before pulling his cock out, various liquids gliding down your ass. “I’ll go get a towel. He quickly gets up, trying his best not to make any of his surroundings wet.

As the two of you are laying in bed, your warm baked bodies pressed together, you feel Yoongi’s chest vibrate as he speaks up. “From now on, you always have to tell me when something’s bothering you, okay?” He softly says, stroking your hair. “Okay.” You whisper back. “Promise?” He questions while raising his pinky finger up, you lock yours with his, pressing your thumbs together. “Promise.”

[thequietkid-moonie]

Your writing is cute! I love reading through them all. They make me feel better everytime and I go back to reading them a lot.

If it's okay, could I request a story for My Hero Academia? fem!reader has a quirk that makes her nose grow like Pinocchio from command as opposed to lies. Her nose is invulnerable and can lift tons of weight, but it's embarrassing to her because she's often called "tengu" or "Pinocchio" would it be okay of the girls of class 1-A help talk to her and give her confidence about her quirk? Maybe help her find ways to use it to help them and others? I hope this is okay, sorry for the bloated request. I'm self conscious about my nose but I'm sure this exposes that ahaha

Class 1-A girls helping reader who have a nose quirk

[ HEADCANONS ] [ Class 1-A girls ]

[ My hero academia / Boku no hero academia ]

Im so happy that my writing comfort you so much ~ it gives me a lot of motivation!! ❤️❤️

And don't worry dear, this blog is a safe space for everyone (i'm not going to allow any kind of agression towards anyone!). I feel self conscious for my body some times too so i fully understand you, I hope this help you 💜

Remember that i always write for gender neutral

Exist all kind of quirks, some are noticible and others are not that much, some change people appearance and other have different effects. In class 1-A are an extent diversity of quirks too, and everyone is rather kindly witch others

The ones who are more probable to say something about your quirk is Bakugou by insulting you and calling you weak (nothing personal, that is how he is) or Midoriya wanting to know all about your quirk (but if you are uncomfortable he will stop and will deeply apologize)

In the class are a lot of people with quirks that affect their body, so they could understand you and they are quickly to say the good things about your quirk (Mina and Kirishima cheer for you while Midoriya rant about every good thing about it)

Still, if you prefer to relay more in the girls they will be happy to help you out, the first to approach the topic could be Momo (since she is really caring), Tsuyu (she is really observant and she will notice how insecure you are about it) and Mina (since she super cheerful, she probably do it while complimenting you)

By the very moment they notice your insecurity they will try to help you, you are their friends after all, they may even team up to cheer you and boost your confidence (thanks to Mina and Hagakure)

The more that are physicaly affected by their own quirks are Mina, Hagakure and Tsuyu, and they will gladly tell you stories about the inconveniences they've had with it or how they had made peace with their quirk and accept themself, and with that they will recommend you different things you could try to feel better with your quirk

Probably the girl how have the most similar quirk to yours is Jirou, and she could tell you her experiences about it too if that will help you (but she will do it shyly), and the other will talk to you about it too, at the end all of them will be talking about how they got their quirk, how they discovered all they can do and different funny stories about it (like fails or accidents), if you don't want to talk much about it its fine, they will wait until you are comfortable, but if you do they will happy to heard you, none of them judge you or laugh at you

This chats probably happen in sleepovers, they do it from time to time and of course you are invited over every single time. Sometimes they even make some self-care routine while talking

Uraraka, Mina and Hagakure become your own personal unofficial cheerleaders, always giving you compliments about your quirk and celebrating each improvement you have (it could be a little embarrasing at times but they always do it with the best intention)

Non of them will tolerate any offence towards you, whenever they heard someone talking bad about you or making fun of you they get defensive even if you aren't there, and this isn't just because you're insecure but because you are their friends and no one have the right to treat others like this (what kind of heroes they will be if they don't help a friend when they need it?)

Tsuyu is always honest so if you ever doubt yourself or think that they are doing all of this for some kind of pity you can ask her, she will never lie to you and will reasure you that all of them truly care for you

Momo is the more eager to help improve and find other ways to use your quirk and she will do help you if you ask her, at the end the other girls will get envolved too and they could help you while they train them too

Every time they make something to try to help you or cheer you up it always end in something really funny, and at the end all their efforts always works to help you at least to feel a little better. It could be a long road regain confidence but they aren't going to give up or lose hope in you

[tojisun]

sun sun! can u give me some advice? IF NOT U CAN DISCARD THIS IGNORE IT AND ILL UNDERSTAND!!!

how do u meet people and talk to ppl and go on a date or something w them? i sound like im an alien but im literally too socially anxious (im sociable and get along well w ppl, but struggle heavily with approaching), self-conscious, n inexperienced to know what to do. i wanna make new friends and potentially date someone :<

(also did u get my last message in response to ur reply? or did tumblr eat it like a poopyhead?)

my love omg i have no game whatsoever so i cant *really* help u. my confidence is the size of an apple which is already a lot for me tbh bc it has to contend with my anxiety so my days are a cesspool of “i can do this… but what if i cant” energy LMFAO 🥲

AND IM LITERALLY LIKE THAT TOO OMG like im sociable bc i get adopted by extroverts but i cant approach on my own. and if i do, i find myself having so little i can even talk about past the surface level questions :((

to add, my prev partners were all my friends so i never really had the experience of asking out people and then going on dates to see if we’re gonna work out 😭

although i started mimicking my extroverted friends! theyre not extrovert in the archetype way wherein theyre bubbly or just so energetic? but theyre so proactive in making the conversation going and cementing a bond!

since i think you and i are alike (wherein our issue lies on the approaching part), id let u know what i do instead of what they do!

i started pretending to have confidence in what i say. for example in school? my current school friend and i started hanging out bc i went up to them and went “hey, just wondering if u read the readings yet?” (and then we snowballed there teehee they did actually read it so thats cool as we were able to have a discussion about the topic but even when they didnt, i just end up steering the conversation to something ik we both know—the lecture! it was what started our friendship, but we also began to talk about other things until we were sharing our interests with each other!)

work? same thing! i start with work related topics (i work at a firm so it usually is always our clients hehehe) and then i’d invite them for coffee or lunch! im blessed to have coworkers close to my age which makes it a lot easier to poke on interests. i asked her if she’s seen this video on tiktok (it was something about that love surge couple i think) and she did so we were also able to expand our conversation out of work!

the highlight is that i bullshitted my confidence until it eventually started feeling normal :’)

im sorry that this isnt a sound advice :((

of course its still so important to stay true to yourself and im not telling u to be fake and to not be urself! but faking confidence i think is different bc, for me, its grappling with the hurdle (my anxiety) and training myself until im eventually used to it! im still not 100% the one taking the first step but when i do, im glad that i did :’)

(now for relationships… yea that i got nothing 😭 im so sorry)

but um yea! im sorry for the rambling. it just made me realize how much more work i need to put into myself too!

take care my love and i wish you the best and kindest and loveliest ever!!!

-

(i just checked and i received ur other ask!! im sorry, im kinda swamped rn so my responses have been going down the drain dhejjd but i’ll reply to it too! thank u sm for ur kindness and love <333)

[honeyhotteoks]

LATER TODAY? AIJWJE IM GOING TO EAT MY OWN HANDS PLEASE AND THANK YOU!!?? how does it feel giving us one of the sweetest moments in a story only to run us over immediately afterwards 🤪 so looking forward to yungi rage

also! i just went back and reread some of your works and i gotta say i really appreciate the small ways you consistently characterize yunho! hes very conscious of his size and of other peoples pain because of it. specifically in the summer series, I appreciated that even when he does outright ask if he did hurt MC he still has a grip on himself but you can sense his anxiety. it felt very humanizing for a character to have such a "silly?" worry. and i say "silly" because typically these kinds of things, the physical pains of sex, aren't necessary addressed in fanfic! like with that small scene alone, reader's own anxiety with-holding, you can tell its something he's self conscious about even if he tries to be confident and "present" for someone else and that its a big deal to him - which i think says a lot about his character by itself!!! idk! it was nice and really stands out! 🎉

!! thank you so much LMAO

I hope when you read it you enjoy the chapter!!

also thank you so much!! genuinely it's an immediate irk for me when sex in fics is always easy/not messy/not realistic, especially when size kink is involved. sometimes things are uncomfortable! sometimes things are messy! sometimes boys with big dicks have to be careful! anyways yes, i appreciate this so much.

there's enough smut and porn out there that warps people's perceptions of sex enough... i'd rather not overly contribute to that.

[angy-mouse]

BESTIE IM HERE AND I HAVE MCYT WHO WOULD LOVE BBW!!

First off Awesamdude! Like please he adore you and kiss you everywhere. Loves to see you be confident and will buy you sets of lingerie to see you wear. Gets full of hard thinking of you riding him.

Second Punz, like mans adores ass and tits but when his s/o has chub he just fuckinf looses it. Loves feeling all over you.

And of course sapnap mans would worship every bit of you. 

This took 3 days and its 2500 words... I have no regrets *^* fluff first, then smut under the cut

Awesamdude strikes me as the kind of guy who says he loves all kinds of women, and he actually does. He’d never let you feel self-conscious just because of how clear he makes it that he loves your body. When you hug him he probably holds your hips as you pull away, giving them a squeeze as he just looks at you with a smile because you’re just so gorgeous. He's the kind of guy who makes you feel just as beautiful in a modest dress or something that shows every roll. He'd give you that cute little smile, take your hand and twirl you so he could get the full view, and give you a kiss on the forehead and tell you, "You look stunning, darling. Are you ready to go?"

Of course, just because he thinks you look beautiful in everything doesn't mean he doesn't prefer certain clothes over others. When you’re going out I think he’d wanna put you in a dress. He just seems like the kind of guy to love seeing his girl in dresses. A flowy sundress (with pockets bc he’s a feminist) when you’re going somewhere casual, but on the special occasions when you go out to a formal restaunt he’d buy you a tight fitting dress that showed off your figure. On the (now rare) occasion that you put on the dress and don’t like how it makes your fat look, he’d gently coax you out of the bathroom to come show him. “Oh, what’s not to like, baby?” He’d take your hands in his and put them on his shoulders to make you stop hiding behind them. “God, you look gorgeous.” He’d grip your waist and pull you into his chest, kissing your cheek before trailing his lips along your jaw. “If you really don’t like it I’m sure we can find you something else to wear, but you’ll still wear this just for me sometime, right?”

As for my emotional support chads-

I feel like Punz loves bbw. He’s the type to see a big girl across the club and instantly go “that bitch gonna be mine… at least for tonight”. He wouldn’t shy away from your fat- look me in the eye and tell me this man wouldn’t give you tummy or booty rubs when you cuddle. That’s right, you can’t. Because you’re absolutely right: Punz is the assiest ass man to ever ass (did that make sense? No, but I’m vibing so shut up) but he also watches anime and if there’s one thing I know about motherfuckers who watch anime (coming from a motherfucker who watches anime) it’s that they fucking love tiddies.

If you’re dating Punz then 1: mans is smacking your ass whenever you’re in reach. Especially if you decide to be sweet and refill his water bottle while he’s streaming. He doesn’t care if he’s got facecam, hand cam, all of the above- he’s smacking that ass. He’d get a good whack in as soon as you entered his peripheral, then grab your ass and pull you closer until you gave in and leaned down to give him a kiss. “Thank you, baby girl,” he’d hum as you traded his bottle for a full one. “Isn’t she so sweet chat? Fuckin’ wifey shit.” And 2: if he walks in on you laying on your back he’s faceplanting into your tiddies. If you’re laying on your front he’s faceplanting on your ass. Only way to stop him is to tell him seriously that you don’t like it but let’s be real you wouldn’t do that. Whether he’s on your tits or ass he’d mindlessly play with the fat, grabbing a handful and kneading, give a rough pat to make it jiggle against his face and make himself giggle- honestly more fat in Punz’s mind is just more to play with.

Sapnap is probably a bbw appreciator. He might not be as much of a fanatic as Punz, but he’s definitely crushed on a few big girls. I think he’s the kind of guy to not care much about someone’s body beyond ‘yeah I can acknowledge that they’re attractive’ until he starts crushing because we all know when you get a strong crush suddenly everything that motherfucker does is hot. Suddenly he’s watching you adjust your shorts after they ride up due to chub rub, he’s grinning like an idiot because you found something cute in your size and you’re just so happy about it, he’s seeing clothes and thinking about how good they’d look on you. He’d probably admit he likes you on pure accident, maybe you’re hyping yourself up after one too many people were cruel to you about your weight. And he’s watching you pace his room (because of course you had to get your best friend in on this) going between ‘fuck all of them I’m a bad bitch you can’t kill me’ and ‘is it really that difficult to find someone who likes big girls’ and he’s tired from staying up all night playing with George and Dream so he just mutters, “so just date me, then… I didn’t mean to say that out loud.”

Once you start dating he discovers the joy of ‘girlfriend wearing your clothes’ and can’t get over it. Maybe you avoid it, telling him you don’t think they’ll fit, but he looks so excited to see you in them, so you try. Some hoodies and shirts actually fit pretty well, but some are a little tight around your chest and stomach. The first time you felt embarrassed and tried to sneak out of the bathroom to grab a bigger one, but he was waiting for you. He let out a strained breath and you were afraid he was trying to not be mean. “Fuck, darlin’, you look so pretty in my clothes,” he’d breathe out, settling his hands on your hips and pulling you closer. He’d pull you into bed to cuddle, spooning you and loving the feeling of your plush body against him. His hands would constantly be all over you whenever your around- on your thigh when you sit next to him, cupping your tit when you’re spooning, rubbing your hip when you’re laying with your head on his chest, giving you tummy and back rubs when you don’t feel good- he just wants to touch.

Sam always wanted you on his lap. You tried to resist at first, all too conscious of your weight, but he’d pout until he managed to pull you to sit on his thighs, pressing a kiss behind your ear with a smile. “See, darling, I’m fine. Now come on, settle down so we can watch the movie.” And soon it became a habit to settle on your boyfriend’s lap whenever he was on the couch. Of course, often he couldn’t seem to keep his hands under control and he’d find himself reaching under your skirt to rub and knead at your thigh. He seemed to always find himself losing interest in the movie, much more concerned with trailing sweet kisses down your neck and slipping his fingers into your panties.

“My sweet baby,” he cooed as he made you come on his fingers again. You moaned, hand trying clumsily to get him off through his sweatpants through your own pleasure. He gently tsked, crooking his fingers and grinning when your hand faltered against him. “Let me focus on you, darling,” he persuaded, lifting your skirt up around your waist to watch his fingers work. He groaned as he saw the familiar black lace and set to work taking your outer clothes off. “You’re wearing the set I bought you, baby?”

You nodded, pressing a kiss to his jaw. “Wanted to look pretty for you,” you murmured as you helped him tug your dress off. He groaned as you exposed the full set to him, lace accentuating your gorgeous body, and turned yourself to straddle him, grinding against his hard on in his sweats.

“You look gorgeous,” he gushed. His hands roamed your body like he couldn’t believe you were letting him see- let alone touch you. “I want you to ride me, baby,” he whispered reverently, grabbing your ass and pulling you to sit directly on his cock so he could latch his mouth onto the skin above your breast.

You moaned, scrambling to pull his cock out. “Please,” you whimpered, pumping him in your hand as he marked up your chest. He pulled your panties to the side and let you sink down on him, throwing his head back as he was wrapped in your tight heat.

“Fuck, baby,” he panted, eyes flying as he watched you bounce on his cock, every part of your body calling his gaze. It was everything he’d ever wanted- seeing his goddess-like girlfriend use him for your own pleasure and take what you wanted from him, wearing what he picked out for you. His hands gripped your ass as he thrust his hips to meet yours, swallowing your moans with a sloppy kiss. “God, you’re so perfect.”

Punz nearly didn’t make it through the front door the first time he brought you home. He growled into your mouth as he pressed you against the hallway wall, your hands pushed under his unbuttoned shirt feeling him up while his found the zipper on your tight dress. You helped him get the dress off with just a hint of shyness that immediately vanished as he groaned and groped your ass with one hand and your tit with the other, grinding his body against yours. “So fucking sexy, bunny,” he groaned, bucking sharply against you and grinning when it pulled a sharp moan from your lips. “Mmm, come here, baby girl.” He picked you up by the backs of your thighs and wrapped your legs around his waist, grinning against your neck as you shreiked in surprise and latched onto his shoulders.

“I gotcha, bunny,” he promised, pulling you off the wall with a deep kiss and carrying you off to the bedroom. He sat on the edge of the bed with you on his lap, leaving one hand kneading your ass while the other slid up to thread through your hair. He purred against your lips as you grinded down on him, his hips coming up to meet yours. “Fuck, baby,” he groaned, giving a sharp pull on your hair so he could mark up the underside of your jaw and grinning at your moans- he loved every reaction he pulled from you. He needed more.

“Wanna eat you out,” he growled, helping you push his shirt off his shoulders. “You gonna sit on my face, bunny? Let me drown in your sweet pussy? You panted out a hundred breathy ‘yes's- he’d made it clear earlier, when he made you beg him to finger you while he drove, that he needed verbal consent. You climbed off his lap so he could lay back and as soon as he was settled he was tugging you over by the hips. You kneeled over his head, glancing down at him to double-check that he was okay with this.

He had a dopey smile on his lips as he looked up at your gorgeous body. When he caught your eye he grinned wider, sticking his tongue out and lifting his eyebrows invitingly. You giggled at him but it turned into a moan as he pulled you to his mouth, eagerly lapping at your folds and curling his tongue around your clit. You let out a breathy moan, trying to stop yourself from grinding against his mouth but as soon as you made the slightest movement his strong hands on your hips were pulling you to do it again. He growled against you as he ravenously ate you out, one hand holding your thigh like an anchor and the other guiding your hips- save for when he gave a swift smack on your ass.

He moaned almost as loud as you did as you came on his tongue, making positively obscene noises as he slurped up every last drop. “Good fucking bunny,” he cooed, using your shaky legs to his advantage and firmly holding you down on his mouth. “Can you do it again for me? I’m not done eating yet.”

Sapnap was just so touchy. You never had to question what he thought about your body because his actions told you clearly- but he still made sure to tell you.

“So- haaa- look so pretty, darlin’,” he panted, holding his hair out of his face so he didn’t miss a single second as you sucked him off. “Fuck, so fucking good to me.” You gave a pleased hum at the praise, pulling off his cock to nuzzle against his inner thigh. He leaned closer and cupped your cheeks to pull you up to meet him, covering your face in soft kisses. He pulled you up to sit sideways on his leg, distractedly pushing his fingers into your panties as your hand returned to his cock. He pulled away from your lips just enough to give a needy whine, hot breath fanning over your face. “Fuck, sugar. So fucking pretty- gorgeous, baby.”

You pressed forward, swallowing his praise as you rocked your hips, grinding your clit against his palm as he fucked you open on his fingers. He groaned into your mouth as your hand pumped his cock, stomach tensing as he resisted bucking into your hand- he had no right, he told himself. He should be happy that such a gorgeous, perfect person wanted to pleasure him in the first place- he should be grateful for anything you wanted to give him.

On that note he gently brushed off your hand so he could focus, pumping his fingers inside of you while he searched for your g-spot. He smiled against your lips as you started whimpering, one hand latching onto his shoulder and the other onto his wrist to ground yourself as he worked you closer to your orgasm. “Let me make you come, sugar,” he coaxed, nose brushing yours as he refused to pull away. He had pure adoration in his eyes as your hips jerked against his hand. “Just wanna make you feel good, baby.”

You buried your face in his neck to muffle your moans as you came all over his thick fingers and he carried you through it, cooing how wonderful you were and how pretty you looked when you came until you were pushing his hand away. He laid you down on your back on the bed, covering your face with sweet kisses as you came down from your high then moving down your body. He gently helped you out of your bra and panties then lay down between your legs, resting his head on your chest as he waited for you to come down.

When your hand came up to cup his cheek he looked up at you with a grin, propping himself up and kissing you softly as one hand drifted down to line himself up. “Gonna make you come one more time, darlin’,”

[pindl3]

I just spent the better half of an hour transcripting Tubbo and Ranboo's entire conversation from the burger van.

The entire thing.

As I was going through it I noticed that it allowed me a much better look what they're actually saying. To hone in on the words.

Also there's one bit of the conversation that I am 100% going to turn into ranboo angst. Anyway, here's the full transcript! Feel free to use ^-^ I know looking through 8 minutes of conversation is annoying. It's all as accurate as I could get it, including the stammering and extra bits.

Video to listen along to

Tubbo: hello!

Ranboo: oh- uh, hel- hello

Tubbo: hi!

Ranboo: how are- how are you doing.

Tubbo: I'm doing alright, uhh-

Ranboo: doing alright- what were- what were you up to?

Tubbo: I was just talking over with quackity, burger business, you know *laughs*

Ranboo: is- is- did everything go well? Is everything ok? With that?

Tubbo: uh, yeah, I assume it's- yeah! I'm pretty sure it's uh, fantastic

Ranboo: you sure?

Tubbo: uh, yea yeayeayea 100%. I think it's going really well! Can I come inside? I wanna have a look at all your- I wanted to have little look at all your place

Ranboo: um yeah, sure- it's not much right now but we're still- um, we're still- me and uhh, Wilbur are still working on it.

Tubbo: Why do you trust Wilbur so much?

Ranboo: hm?

Tubbo: why do you trust Wilbur?

Ranboo: well ok, here's- here's the thing. Basically, I don't like- trust trust Wilbur yet but I definitely do have more trust in him than you do. But um...

Tubbo: yeah.

Ranboo: I mean, thirteen years... I mean, thirteen years, a guy has got to change throughout all of that right? (Unsure)

Tubbo: yeah I suppose so- I mean I don't not believe that he's changed i just think that he has to have the opportunity to prove it.

Ranboo: yeah! And thats why im- that's why im here so that, when he does something that does redeem himself then someone can be there that's- that'll be able to see it and everything- and honestly I would rather have it be me, the person... um, id rather have the person that be there be me instead of maybe someone... else. So um...

Tubbo: yeah I guess that- that makes a lot of sense I guess. I.. I don't know I just- I'm not sure I feel prepared to put my life in his hands again if you know what i mean.

Ranboo: well this isn't- this isn't putting my life in his hands. This is just- this is just making a little burger shop and everythi- are- are you like, okay with all of this right?

Tubbo: oh yeaaah yeaahh it's fine it's fine. I think it's quite enjoyable.

Ranboo: *softly, to himself* ok that's- that's- that's good. Ok, yep...

Tubbo: yeah I understand it all it makes a lot of sense

Ranboo: you- you sure you understand? Because- like, if you need me to- to stop, then I'll stop, like-

Tubbo: no no, it's alright it's alright- is there a reason like, I noticed that you hadn't told Wilbur about the tax reasons marriage *laughs softly, self conscious*

Ranboo: yeah well that's- that's just because- from what I've heard from Tommy and everything the Wilbur that- thirteen years ago at least- might've- he used stuff against Tommy and everything, so, you know just in case, just in case. I mean I still trust Wilbur just not- you know not super fully but still, still at least a little bit.

Tubbo: yeah, o-oh I completely understand though that makes a lot of sense honestly

Ranboo: so I- I mean I like working with him as well- I mean it's nice to just- to do something. You know?

Tubbo: yeah fair enough. Like- yeah I think the competition will be *hesitation* good- yeah I mean I'm very excited, I haven't felt this happy in quite a while. It feels like I've finally got- you know, something under my belt, something I can, you know really sink my teeth into and be a part of- it feels like I'm part of- like a bigger cause now. Like-

Ranboo: so... so you're saying you're sure that this is- that you're all okay with- everything that's going on?

Tubbo: yeah yeah of course! It's just friendly competition man, it's gonna be awesome. If anything it'll just be better for consumers, it means we're gonna make better things for everyone.

Ranboo: *hesitance* yeah, yeah that makes- that makes um... that makes sense, at least. I mean...

Tubbo: I mean, are you alright?

Ranboo: how did you- how did you bury the hatchet with quackity though? That's what I don't get...

Tubbo: bury the hatchet? What do you mean by that?

Ranboo: cuz I mean- how did you make peace with him cuz the last time we spoke about him you were talking about he had a role in your... un- unfortunate removal of life...

Tubbo: yeaahh he did, but- it- I mean to be honest it's as much- well no I mean I'm not even sure it is as much quackitys fault as wilbur- but like- I don't- like- I mean I was gonna die no matter what that day... I mean, it just happened. I mean I don't... eh, I don't have much quarrel with him, I think it's a-okay. I mean, he seems to have... I mean look at what he's built, like, he seems good. I mean... yeah I managed to also, like, clean over all the ruckus that we had about the um, cookie outpost and stuff as well, so that's all past now.

Ranboo: oh really? So he's ok with that now? *relieved*

Tubbo: yeah, yeah he promised me a good life. Like-

Ranboo: what do you mean...? Was your- life not- good before?

Tubbo: no! Nonononono it was- he talked *hesitance* a lot about L'manburg... and like he- yeah.

Ranboo: well- that wasn't- that wasn't really that much of a good life for you though- was it?

Tubbo: oh no- you- you've only heard the bad bits of L'manburg- *confident* L'manburg was amazing. You've only-

Ranboo: he- he promised you like, the- the good bits

Tubbo: yeah, yeah basically, which is- it's awesome.

Ranboo: *softly, to himself* that's- that's good, that's good.

Tubbo: yeah, so I- I figured out how to- like um- get rid of the tension regarding the cookie outpost; we came to an agreement, signed a contract, dot the t's and the i's- you know, put the past in the past. Im excited to, you know, keep moving forward, it's exciting!

Ranboo: ... ok, a-awesome... so- *voice raises an octave* so he's okay with the cookie shop now?

Tubbo: oh yea! Yeah yeah he's 100% okay! Basically, we just came to the agreement- is- I wasn't acting myself, like before when I was working on the cookie shop- I wasn't being myself- I was, I was just upset, and sad, and like- I just wanted to have something to feel part of something bigger again. But then I realized instead of fighting the thing that would've given me that feeling, I tried to make my own. I dig my heels in- it wasn't really- the right thing to do. I-

Ranboo: mhm (of reassurance)

Tubbo: so we signed a contract, I- so the cookie shops still owned by me, but it just exists within Las Nevadas now. And um... yeah, it follows its laws and regulations.

Ranboo: ok- so is everything- is everything um... everything's- *pause* w-wait so how exactly again? Sorry- how did you- make quackity ok with it all?

Tubbo: so we went up to the needle, uhh, we just talked it out, we wrote up a contract and I just- basically agreed to have the cookie shop become part of Las Nevadas! Cuz I mean it doesn't make sense-

Ranboo: wait you- you gave away the cookie shop?

Tubbo: well I mean I didn't give it away- I still own it, it's just now part of Las Nevadas.

Ranboo: which is- owned by quacki- you gave away the cookie shop.

Tubbo: well... yeah, but not- entirely.

Ranboo: y- yeah, entirely.

Tubbo: no- thats not how it works at all. It's- it's still owned by me- it's just, it exists inside his territory.

Ranboo: wait- but it's property of Las Nevadas, which is owned by quackity.

Tubbo: no! It's not like that at all.

Ranboo: you gave it- it seems like you just...

Tubbo: no, there's a lot more to it than that, it's not just- it's not black and white and I just- gave it to him- I still own it, I still have full control over it. It's just- it just follows his laws- which is fine.

Ranboo: and his ru- awesome, cool- um, that's great! Oh would you look at that- the bread is- stale- I gotta go-

Tubbo: oh, ok

Ranboo: but it was nice um- it was nice- uh talking to you- im gonna go throw this bread in the river- alright!

Tubbo: okay

Ranboo: um, thanks for- thanks for stopping on by, um- I'll talk to you um... l- later. Alright buh bye-

Tubbo: ok, bye!

Tubbo: that was- that- that was um... uh, I wasn't expecting that to *laughs* go quite like that- I didn't think that mattered that much... uhh- that- I was not expecting that to um... he- he didn't seem- oh god. That was- that felt a little- awkward. I didn't, I mean- *defensive* it's mine to give away! I mean, I- I built the entire place! Like- I built all of it. That is so weird.

[dangan-ronpa-cafe]

Hello Mod Aoi! I hope your doing great today, May I please have an Americano for himiko, Aoi, and ryoma of possible?

im doin great thanks for askin!! i hope your feelin good too lovely Anon!! oki doki!! i'll be honest i struggled a little with this one- i was able to do aoi and then i sorta lost motivation- i got lazy for himiko and did like three drafts of ryoma but it just wasn't workin ya know! anyway i wasn't gonna let you walk away without your request done fully so i asked mod kaede if buns could help me out, i hope this is all okay and if you need anythin changin just dm m on @pekowithabat !!

Aoi

-you had always been pretty self conscious, always hated the way you felt when compared to others,,course it was all crap!! at least that's what Aoi said,,she told you not to get all in your head about it- that you're just perfect the way you are,,and you knew it was in your head- but that's the point!! it wouldn't get out.

-you often found yourself getting more quiet, closed off- Aoi wasn't the best at noticing this as she herself was usually the energetic one- she was too busy ranting to see your tired eyes,,it wasn't that she didn't care, she just didn't pick up on the signals- especially as they were such small indications

-but the second you told her you were going to bed early and left to your room her brain would stat ticking, she would notice the hints of sadness in your usually uplifting tone

-she's a bit slow on the upstart but hey- we got there in the end i suppose,better late than never

-she found you crying in your room, layed in bed and clutching a pillow-  she didn't even take a second to think,,although she never really does- she ran over pressing you with questions and hugs,,’hey what's wrong?! it's gonna be alright okay!! just stay positive ya know,, does anywhere hurt? do you need something? why are you crying?! you can tell me i swear!!’

-usually you would be embarrassed with such attention on you, but her tone- a mix of comfort and motivational words merged together with fear and pity- no not pity,,guilt almost-as if it was in anyway her fault- as if she could have been more supportive and caring,,,,it made you giggle a bit- pulled you out of your own anxiety for a moment to comfort her- something simple,, a quick ‘i'm okay Hina,,’ course she didn't really believe you but it helped her calm down a little,

-she suggested getting donuts,,and that's what you did, she even gave you the one with sprinkles, it was nice- you told her everything, spilled like a flowing river, but it felt good- and at the end of the day knowing you had someone like her to comfort you- it made you feel just,,,comfortable  in yourself- it was a long way off fully confident but it was better than before- a lot better-

Himiko

-alike aoi, himiko isn't always the best at figuring out when your upset, but she tries her best!!

-when she does notice you've had a bad day you can expect a full magic show in your honour!

-sure some of the tricks go wrong and maybe you had to fake your reaction to a few- but it still made you laugh and made you feel better

-its no surprise that himiko gives the best cuddles!! and although its simple- its good-

-its enough for you to finally stop worrying and calm down

-himiko falls asleep on your lap, that's the best part, watching her dream somehow helps you to slowly drift off yourself and its good,,it's great

-she checks up on you the next morning, you say your fine- but its not fake

-you surprise even yourself with how happy you have become in comparison to last night and it's,,amazing-

-you weren't exactly on cloud 9 but you were okay- and it was better-

Ryoma (Mod Kaede is writing this part, Mod Aoi asked him to!!!)

Everything was getting to you. You felt so much stress even standing in your own room.

It had gotten to point you just kept yourself in the library. Nobody really came in there anyway.

You had your face buried into a book just reading about whatever. You weren't really paying attention.

"Kid, what are you doing down here?"

"Holy shit-"

Ryoma had somehow appeared next to you without making a single noise.

"I'm... just reading."

"Like every other day? Something wrong."

Say yes or no? Maybe you could get rid of the stress maybe... maybe...

You just broke down. Started crying and talking about how stressed out you've been whole you were staying here. And how you thought being alone would help with that.

Ryoma didn't know what to do so he just hugged you and rubbed your back. When you finished, he responded.

"Look. It's alright to be stressed out. But you shouldn't deal with it on your own. Next time you need someone. Come to me or someone else. Everyone has been worried and all of us would be willingly to help you."

You guys spent the rest of the day sitting in the library and just talking so you can prepare yourself to see everyone tomorrow.

[babysizedfics]

ok i have two (2) asks and i will send them separately but number one (1) do u think roman uses humor to cope with things when big because like. i relate to roman too much in general but also i really really relate to ur roman in this and i do that way too much because its easier so i was just wondering if that was a thing he did? and if it were to be a thing he did how do u think the others would react? like im self deprecating but is roman? idk sorry rambling 🐝

this turned into a long post exploring romans characterisation so thank u bee anon!!

i think Roman uses humour sometimes but mainly i think its can just be described as acting out? like acting proud and big

i keep saying when roman feels small he acts big and that has nothing to do with being little - when roman feels inadequate and embarrassed and sorrowful (small) he acts loud and proud and confident (big) and stands taller and puffs out his chest - this doesnt mean everytime he is proud he's hiding insecurities, he does it when hes actually happy too. its just like he's trying to force happy on himself by acting like this when hes sad

i think the times he makes jokes are more when he feels awkward. i said before when theyre big and roman wants to support virgil he holds his hand, but he blurts something random or makes a loud joke as he does it to try to distract from the action because its obviously a vulnerable move and he doesnt want anyone to dwell on that

i really don't think my roman is very self deprecating, he acts very proud but most of that is real, he really is pretty full of himself. and he actually has never talked down about himself, he feels bad when hes frightened and he can sometimes think hes stupid but its not that intense and he never voices these things and definitely never makes jokes abt them

he just hates feeling anything less than regal and strong so if he feels scared he feels weak and he pretends to be bigger and more confident because he hopes it will chase away the inadequate feelings, and it does help him a little bit - sure he needs to talk through these feeings to work through them but actually standing taller and being extra big brotherly and protective of vee to distract from his bad feelings does make him feel better in himself and reminds him that even if he feels sad and not very glittery he's still the same brave prince roman

its actually a pretty healthy thing for him i think, since he does talk about his feelings if theyre really bothering him - take chapter 5 of LABD where he sighs dramatically and virgil asks what wrong and roman immediately rants about how he wants to do a valiant act for vee. or in chapter 8 where patton asks him whats wrong and again he sighs dramatically then immediately admits that he's scared the family will split up. he might act out to try not to look weak and sad but he doesnt actually hide his feelings

also it makes him feel safer to know that the others still see him as strong and brave even when he feels down and small

the others do all notice, romans not exactly subtle.

big virgil tends to scoff and fondly calls roman a dumbass or a sap and accepts his hand holds or suggests they do something fun if roman clearly needs a distraction - it's also to make sure roman isnt around logan when he's like this (i'll talk more abt that in a bit)

and baby vee doesnt really notice he just likes that his big brother is babying him more and will subconsciously latch onto him at these times (i think without knowin, vee actually picks up on the fact that roman needs to baby vee to feel better and vee gives him all his attention)

patton thinks its kind of cute that roman preens like a peacock and gets more flamboyant and loud and confident, though he also makes sure to give ro a lot of attention since he clearly needs it - he tends to big roman up like if he's little he'll say things like 'you're such a brave little prince' 'what a big boy you are' 'you're a really great role model for your baby brother roman!' - he highlights the fact that roman is the bigger older brother because that makes little roman feel proud and happy

logan is the one who doesnt take too fondly to it tbh - he doesn't hate it, and he would never ever judge someone for their coping mechanism, but the two tend to clash most when roman acts more cocky (don't tell them but it's because theyre both full of themselves and neither likes to feel threatened by someone else acting more important)

logan also doesnt have much of a filter and will outright state that roman is clearly acting out due to feelings of inadequacy, and that only makes roman lash out with nicknames and mocking logan because sure he loves attention almost always, but when the attention is on how he is messing up he cant stand it - this tends to result in arguments between lo and ro

virgil hates it whenever anyone argues - including himself, he gets shaky from fear of confrontation - it sets of his anxiety and he will actively keep logan and roman away from each other if he notices roman is overcompensating with his ego and pride. he is of course hypervigilant and clocks onto romans weird moods pretty quickly and either gets roman to hang out with him or, if roman is busy or doesnt feel like it, he'll keep logan preoccupied

roman and logans relationship is an interesting one, it's very turbulent. little roman looks up to mom logan a LOT and is a little bit intimidated by him because he thinks his mom is really cool and clever. he can sometimes feel almost scared of logan, though not a lot, just in the sense that he knows logan has a lot of say in what is good for vee's regression and he's scared one day logan will decide roman is one of the things that is not good for vee and will split them up (this is a recurring fear of roman's that's consistent throughout all of the fics: he's scared he will lose his brother - because he already experienced that once)

and when roman forst became a little, logan was actually a bit confused and sceptical, he didn't know that you could be a little without mentally regressing and couldnt figure out why roman did it. it obviously gets resolved before LABD since he treats roman like a kid then, but their relationship is still a little bumpy. they really get into their roles and love playing together and logan does treat the boys as equally 'real' littles, roman still gets bedtime and affection and rules and stuff, but sometimes the facade breaks a little and they both remember that theyre still just adults, theyre still logan and roman who otherwise would never act like this together.

theres a moment in LABD chapter 8 where logan is tickling roman, its very joyful and cute, then a bit later theyve stopped, ro is on his moms lap and vee says he wants to play with roman. roman is reluctant and strokes his fingers along logans arm which is hugging him - he doesnt want to give up this special time with mom because mom is almost never this physically affectionate with him. but logan immediately gets roman off his lap and leaves and its because he suddenly realised 'oh this isnt a child, this is roman, adult roman who is very aware of the fact that i just tickled him and pulled him into my lap'

so logan gets self conscious that adult roman is fully aware of how different and affectionate logan acts as mama logan.

anyway yeah i REALLY went off track im sorry 😳😳

[itssolonelyhere]

Like your fics! Question i came for joker and wonder why sakura? i dont get the buzz for her. shes a obsessed sasuke fangirl so she wouldnt chose joker of him right? and i watched ns and she's not at all that. idt he would go for her either. there's harley that fits better. please dont take this offensively im just curious

This has been sitting in my ask box for a bit (I’m lazy... sorry!) and wasn’t sure how to answer it. So, first... Thank you for liking my stories! Second... @radita328 reminded me of all the reasons I like Sakura so much and chose her as my lead female character in all my stories. I try not to take anything offensively and have been asked this multiple times since I started writing for this ship. 

This might be a good way to explain it... And if I get questions like this again (which I undoubtedly will), it’s already been thoroughly answered. 

Sakura was quite insecure as a child, and the other brats often bullied her. For a while, she silently endured it and tried to ignore the comments on her appearance. It wasn’t until her friendship with Ino and crush on Sasuke that she really started to bloom and find her confidence. Sometimes we need an outside source to see ourselves in a different light or find what’s inside. I’ve debated whether it’s okay for a person to try improving for themselves or someone else. To me, it doesn’t matter. The results and finding that inner-strength is important. Sometimes it takes an outside influence or another perspective to bring out the best version of a person, and that’s the case with Sakura and myself. Those with a self-deprecating mindset rarely see what others do. 

Sakura’s infatuation with Sasuke temporarily ruined her relationship with Ino (we all make mistakes) and she became obsessed with perfecting her appearance based on rumors of what girls think he likes. Extreme dieting (even at the expense of her training), growing her hair out, fussing with everything. This is something many do in hopes of attracting their crush, especially teenage girls. During the Chunin Exams, she realized that spending so much time on her looks instead of training was a waste The boy she wanted to impress couldn’t care less about it and she put her teammates in danger by not focusing on what’s important. This arc shows the beginning of her character development. To save Naruto and Sasuke, she used her body as a shield and cut off her ‘beloved’ hair. After being beaten to a pulp, she still refused to give up, knowing it might end in death. 

Later on, Team 7 is split up as her teammates are taken to be trained, leaving her behind. Kakashi took Sasuke and Jiraiya with Naruto. Her own sensei and everyone else walked away, despite being in charge of helping her improve. Sakura took it on herself to go up to one of the Legendary Sannin and most feared woman to ask for training. She spent years studying, being pummeled by Tsunade, and honing her skill-set to the point of eventually surpassing her shishou, which is not an easy feat. The Strength of a Hundred Seal that took her three years of storing up chakra to create is a Jutsu very few are able to complete. 

Sakura went from a small girl that was extremely self-conscious, to a top kunoichi within a few years. People doubted, overlooked, and underestimated her from the beginning, using gender and appearance as an excuse. She smashed through all those barriers (literally). People often despise her for the loyalty she’s shown to Sasuke, who doesn’t deserve it—whatsoever—and blame everything going wrong on her. There are so many instances that plenty of characters (especially in the war) would’ve died without her power, it’s not even funny, yet those facts get tossed aside carelessly. She’s had amazing character development, overcame diversity and bullying, improved herself as a person, and became one of the strongest shinobi through sheer determination. 

As a woman who’s been teased for her appearance and underestimated, I resonate with her the most. Being half-Asian in a predominately white area as a teenager when my family moved came with its own trials and tribulations. Seeing a minority character grow and develop into a strong woman is very inspiring and why I chose her. I don’t blame Sakura for what the male creator of the series decided to do with her after building up so much potential. 

Canonically, Joker and Sakura would probably kill each other, but that’s one of the points that I enjoy. He thinks everyone’s beneath him and has zero empathy, while she has an enormous heart and tries to improve to feel worthy of standing beside her comrades. They’re very different, but their strange appearance, penchant for violence (in various forms), and fanatical drive towards their goals is where they meet halfway. I’m a fan of the whole ‘enemies to lovers’ and ‘bad guy/small woman’ trope. Canon relationships are irrelevant in AU’s and fiction, in general. That’s the entire point of fanfiction, crack pairings and crossovers. 

Harley Quinn makes appearances throughout most of my stories, but we’ve all seen how her relationship with Joker plays out. It revolves around abuse, manipulation, and abandonment. Not that my ship doesn’t at all, I’m just saying... They’re unhealthy relationship goals if that’s what you’re looking for. Personally, I like Harley better with Poison Ivy compared to J. Pam has been a big part of the healing process after Harley had enough of his shit. Saying she fits better includes keeping a woman in a toxic environment where she’s never respected or appreciated and constantly hurt without a single care. 

I like to think that J has a good-eye for talent and would see that Sakura is brimming with it, even if it’s to use her as a weapon. He’s intelligent, cunning, resourceful, with ingenuity in spades. The freedom from the restraints that society puts on everyone that comes with J is very liberating, and I enjoy putting Sakura in that kind of atmosphere where she has no limits holding her back, like the Narutoverse does. Her appearance, race, gender... None of that matters in Gotham where it’s all about survival and playing the game. Him pushing Sakura beyond her limits and rattling the cage is what I’m totally living for.

Thanks for the ask and hopefully my incessant rambling answers this question now and moving forward. I get it often and not really sure why, considering all the crack pairings I’ve seen over the years, especially with Sakura. 

[daddyd0nt]

It's going to sound weird but you are a great inspo for me because you dont shave your legs and go out in public AND be confident! I stopped shaving them too but I am still self conscious to go out in shorts or skirts as my hair is dark and coarse. But seeing you drives me to be confident too, for that I thank you thousand times. So good to see there are other women who are natural!

Thank you <3 I love my fuzzy legs they make me feel powerful, I struggle a lot to love my body so cutting my hair and not shaving my legs both make me feel more in-control of my physical self (which has changed a lot these past few years from medication and disordered eating).  I don’t even think about it anymore for the most part, I still am not to the point where I could go to like a wedding or something formal with hairy legs but what I found is for the overwhelming majority of the time, nobody cares about your leg hair.  Ive never had anybody remark on it (although im an imposing figure in a Jason Voorhees sort of way so maybe they just say it amongst themselves but i dont get any shit for it lol).  Its one of the few things I can do to have control over my appearance so I really do like being unapologetic about my facial/body hair.  Im glad that it makes you feel more comfortable about yours <3  I hope one day all girls can be free to be hairy and bare-faced.  Plus its super sexy the contrast between my hairy legs and my girly/flowery dresses haha in like a genderfucked way.  I make exceptions for formal events but if it’s not part of a male self-care routine I don’t do it on the regular as a rule.  But anyway im ranting, thank you so much anon and you should totally let your fuzzy legs free for the world to worship!

[captain-jinguji]

Hiya! Big Thx for answering to my last request. I was really curious what would be Starish and QN's reaction if their s/o was an artist and asked to paint them naked and the reaction after they see the painting. Thank you a lot. (btw, im sorry u got sunburned, hope u r better :)) )

Its people like you that keep me going by being nice 😭 so thanks BB I'm fine. It hurt the first couple days but my skin's calming down a lot. And I'm always happy to answer :3 hope this is okay!

Warning: slight NSFW. Nothing graphic but if you're sensitive to that, don't read. 

STARISH + QUARTET NIGHT reacting to being painted naked by their s/o 

Natsuki: 

When you first brought it up, he honestly felt kind of self conscious? He's a big guy so the painting would take a while and it made him blush to think about being naked in front of you for that long, even if you've seen him naked before. However, halfway through the session he calms down and starts to relax, joking, and even commenting on how you should paint both of you together sometime, which will just get him scolded because he's supposed to be still! Once the painting is finished and he sees it, all he can do was stare in awe. You captured everything so perfectly!!! Honestly just amazed at how you can get the painting to look so real and won't stop complimenting for days. 

Tokiya: 

Not shy per se, but uncomfortable at first. Sure you guys have seen each other naked, plenty of times! But this is like… you staring at him for hours on end and he can't even (make a) move. If you pester him enough though, he'll agree with a sigh and oblige. Don't ask him to smile though because his face doesn't work like that. But that's okay ??? Because the serious look he has on in the painting, with his hand just barely hovering over his package has him staring at himself for hours after the painting is done. Honestly finds himself so hot in the painting and might ask you to make another one. 

Cecil: 

Draw me like one of your french girls #1. Agrees immediately. Anything for his princess! Strips in such a way that you almost don't want to just paint him anymore. The whole process takes an entire day though because he just. Wont. Shut. Up. You have to remind him that paintings are quiet and dont speak, but that doesnt stop him. Reminds you that he's very tan and the tattoo on his chest has to be just right since its a special symbol from his country. Honestly annoys you half the time, but the painting turns out so good. You even put some fruit and velvet accessories around him to try and emphasize on him and his heritage and God those grapes barely covering his cock really bring it out… 10/10 approves. 

Ren: 

Draw me like one of your french girls #2. Already stripping before you finish your sentence, but also orders you to strip and paint naked because "I can't be the only one being stared at when i have such a goddess in front of me." You reluctantly agree, though his stare makes you almost mess up a couple times and oh my god the comments he dashes out and the things he says he will do to you after ward have you squirming in place. Ren might be a model with the body of a God but he's playing dirty. But the finished painting? Beautiful. And he says that too. Also says that now whenever he's gone, you'll have something to pleasure yourself to ;) 

Otoya: 

Blushes and almost passes out. Studders out an answer about how embarrassing that is and why would you want that and omg he's hyperventilating. You have to calmly reassure him that it's just a painting and it won't hurt him. No one else will see it because it will be in you guys' bedroom, or bathroom if he finds that safer. Gives in at some point because he doesn't want to disappoint you and lays down on the couch, completely red. You almost couldnt differentiate between his face and his hair and at some point his thoughts began to wander and uh oh now he's hard. But that's okay because it makes for that much more of a good painting. When he sees it, he's still embarrassed but also amazed by your artistic ability. Still makes you promise that it will go somewhere where no one sees it. 

Syo: 

Literally shrieks when you bring it up to him. You want what? Why? How? Are you gonna sell it? Has so many questions. You have to reassure him, much like Otoya, that no one else sees it and he'll agree to it. Is also blushing during the session but his is more like a soft pink hue and he tries so hard to keep his thoughts under control. Asks for at least some props to take some of the attention away from him and so you tell him to take out his violin. Have you ever seen a naked man with his violin? No? Have you ever seen a wet artist? Now you have. Both of you were so amazed with the outcome that it was almost cringe. Asks to have it in the bedroom so he can admire himself and also your skills. 

Masato: 

LMAO have fun convincing him. Least likely of all to be comfortable with this and it will take forever for him to get there. However, if you tell him he can wear his Yukata to cover up some of his skin, like it being draped around his shoulders or hanging over one of his legs, he might be more willing. He just doesnt like to see all of himself naked so at least respect that aspect. Also demands you make him melon bread after this. Is also a blushing mess during the session, worse than otoya even and you have to remind him to breathe every once in a while because youre genuinely scared he might pass out. Once the painting is done, though, he will actually be shook. He looks so good? And might he even say, sexy? Is this really him? Plz give this boy some love ;-; 

Reiji: 

Draw me like one of your french girls #3. Much like Ren, he's also stripping and trying out different poses. Want his butt in the air? His dick hard and erect? A hand sliding down his happy trail? Honestly tries to make this more of a porno than it has to be. Also demands some sexy time for his "hard work of sitting there doing nothing when you can stare at his naked glory for as long as you want" poor Reiji pulls the pouty lip and all and its honestly cute so you agree. You have him lay on the couch, hands crossed behind his head and his legs spread open, one popped up on the couch and the other steady on the floor. The finished result? Puts Michaelangelo to shame. At least according to reiji. Kisses your neck as he admires your art and kindly reminds you that even though he's the painting, you still have to pay your debt. 

Ranmaru: 

Draw me like one of your french girls #4. Honestly so not opposed to the idea at all. Has so much confidence going into this and is hella smug about it. However, once he actually has been against the red velvet pillows with a leather gloved finger between his teeth for twenty minutes or so, he starts to blush. Didnt realize you had to stare at him for this long and though he's comfortable being naked in front of you, he still feels a little too watched under your gaze. On the other hand, you were patting your own shoulder because oh my lord your man is hot. Leather is his thing. You can feel yourself being turned on by your own idea and when you see your finished painting you stare at it in awe for so long that Ranmaru becomes worried. Asks if its wrong, if it was the wrong angle, etc… but when he sees it for himself, he gets that smug grin back on his face. "Damn babe. I look hot." 

Camus: 

Knows you can paint well. Has all the confidence in the world. Totally down to do this. But "Don't waste his time" and "I'm expecting you to capture all of me in all my glory" has you kind of scared to mess up. Camus is beautiful and he knows it. Wont settle for less. You have him sprawled out on his silk bed, a hand resting against the side of his head and a book as a prop, gently laid against the upper side of his chest. You call it "sophisticated grace". But oh dear Camus knows exactly what he's doing and he's purposefully giving you the bedroom eyes during the whole session, his crystal blues covered by a dark lust. You take in a deep breath a couple of times and wonder if you can actually last through this without jumping on him, but you do and once you're done, Camus comes up behind you and analyzes the painting like it's the most important thing on this planet. He doesn't say anything though and it has you worried that he doesnt like it and saw too many flaws but the next thing you feel is his hot breath against your neck and his low voice whispering in your ear, "I believe you deserve payment for this." 

Ai: 

Confused? Why would you want to paint him? Humans are weird. He's so cute and innocent and it almost makes you giggle. He agrees to it though because he's interested in how you'd capture him and so he poses for you in one of the white, deep seated chairs that's in the corner of your living room. His skin is flawless and the early morning sun is at just the right angle, coming through the window that it makes his whole being glow up golden. It's better than the sistine Chapel. It's divine and you blush at the thought of this being your man. So catches that of course, and smiles to himself. He feels a sense of pride that you chose him for such an...intimate painting and he's sure to properly thank you later. The finished product has him in awe. He looks so good? Like an angel. And he thanks you with a deep kiss for making him look like that.

[thelostandforgottenangel]

Good Morning everyone! I'm back!

 I am happy to say that it is over, any reported harassment's against me were investigated; I had to send so much crap in and was told to wait; I was not guaranteed anything but it is luckily over and I can move past that and enjoy my followers and dear Tumblr family once again

Thank you for the few who gave me the support; I did get the messages whoever you are, I really would like to put a face to them but will not post them publicly to keep everyone safe. 

Now I want to take this time to apologize to everyone for whatever I did because for the two people I had contact with talked me out of a very permanent plan to officially leave here if I lost my page after many years of being able to confide in people who cared and built me up because this is my safe zone; my safe haven away from my reality which I do need my escape to forget for just a second. 

Returning to Tumblr after a forced hiatus, I was just happy to be back and check on my loved ones; getting my new phone in and finally having access to the internet again had me so happy until I got a message I did not fully understand

Now I had just returned; I had no clue what was going on when this happened and, yes, it upset me deeply to be delighted to talk to somebody I considered a friend and instead while replying to ask how they were doing wanting to be sure they were okay ((Understanding the person had been having troubles before I vanished I was looking in on a friend)) before the chat showed they had blocked me right after

Like everyone on here except one person; there is no way to contact me if I go missing. If I am not here due to I either: 1.) not having internet thanks to the person in control of it or 2.) functioning with a broken phone meaning - I did not get updates unless it was somebody who knew who to contact

I had no other way of reaching out since the friend is no longer active here after leaving months ago.

I had no clue what was transpiring and, Lexi, who anyone who has followed me since the beginning, is my lovely Anonymous penpal who sends me writing ideas for stories and the only real reason I left anonymous asks active because she, like me, suffers from extreme anxiety was trying to boost positivity for me because she understood my situation and the place I am in

I understand now she contacted a lot of people looking for me because; my anon messaging was finally turned off weeks before I left right after I stood up to my bully – I am sorry for that I did not get to say goodbye to anyone because it happened without warning and to those who knew what was going on I knew you would understand, and I know I worried a few people, it was never my plan to be such an inconvenience 

Now at some point in the last few days, I had a dear friend send me some things in a submission that I never saw and wish I never had, thankfully; I know now, and for the sake of their sanity and to keep from adding any more drama or toxic actions to our wonderful fandom, they will remain unnamed because I do not want them catching any hate

Nobody here deserves hate.

So I will not be posting the original nor will I release the creator's name; this was a problem between us it stays between us because I do not wish ill on you; I hope you are successful and are having no more issues, I know returning to my page and not seeing any anon hate in my box after ten days is very refreshing for a change

I have seen everything said about me in three possibly four separate posts since it was all sent to me as one with little separations in-between, and I’m okay with it; I guess I have to accept this is how you feel I have nothing else to say on the matter

What you are saying is fine; I’m not going to let it get me, that is your opinion, and as human's, we are all allowed to have an opinion 

Now, I don't know if you will see this, but I don’t think you are crazy in any way; I think you are intelligent and you have a huge heart; in our IM's you told me about your disorder also about you mental problem and like I said there I still understand; it runs in my family and, thankfully it bypassed me; but I still have compassion for those battling mental illnesses since I do have a few myself

I didn’t know about the ask you got until you mentioned it before I returned, and since mentioned by my best friend that she got one too earlier in the day I already knew who you were talking about

I had just seen it when I got blocked, and I didn’t fully get to read it until this morning when I was finally able to log on, and yes, I privately told you who that anon was because I had told her what a sweet person you were encouraging her to friend you, I have no idea how I lied but it is okay too

I was not here for those hate messages nor was I involved in anything I get too much hate daily when I am here to even dream of sending it but, nobody will believe me except anyone who has ever interacted with me

In your post, you warned people about three of those five people (Again; the ones I know about will not be named) 

I only tried to interact once with your Raph; the response was enough to discourage me from ever trying again; you were stressed I got that because of everything going on I can only imagine you felt like it was an attack, I did not want an RP I just needed somebody to talk to that night, and, for once I didn't go directly to private messages as I do with everyone, that was my fault so I deserved the blow up even if I did not know about that RP until you explained. I apologized, profusely because I felt bad for bringing up – it was to talk, something many know I am not good at, I didn’t know the subject would hurt you; we had never interacted but you had offered to interact with me at one time if I needed you and trying to heal I attempted to reach out on the only thing I had seen on your page a long time ago

I don't get to RP for me haven't for a long while now, but I try to make others happy

But I am sorry I made an effort to reach out; you didn't need that

So if you are in the TMNT fandom, please be cautious because I only seem cause problems for the people I care for

You blocked me, you have your reasons, and yes, I do respect them and, after this post, it is in the past; I hope you are doing and getting along well

And guys, I can’t and will not give the name of this person or do it privately because I don’t want them catching any hate, but please, by all means, if you ever find their blog follow them; they are so talented and deserve so much love from this fandom

Lastly, while I will be staying on Tumblr because I do not want to leave any of you, I will be making several changes to my several pages soon to make sure this never happens again and to all my followers; I love you guys, and for that, I will no longer be posting struggles on here anymore even though I only gave you guys a penny in a 10-gallon bucket because I needed comfort that was too much; my problems are my burden, not yours; and I can not say how sorry I am that I ever put that on any of you

Nobody needs to know what their friends are dealing with when we come here to be happy because it is too much to put on anyone not personally dealing with it, so you will only see the sadness in my stories and only see the struggle in my art 

My ask box will be open; anon will alternate day to day but, any hate I hope not to see will be deleted immediately; if your face is on the lovely message; you will be blocked right there just like the last 12 people since quarantine started for me in February

Also, while I am still here *this is a scheduled post it is 4 a.m. my time will post, hopefully after I am asleep cause my sleep schedule is grossly off* I do not want ANY hate streaming from this post, I know my followers will not do that to anyone; this is just me getting it out of my system 

We are breaking the chain of toxicity right here! We were not meant to be friends in this lifetime but maybe the next

Tumblr, at one point, was always a beautiful, safe place for many of us who needed a way out of our situations; and when I joined in 2014 as a supernatural blog I was run off, then I came back again in 2016 for TMNT and found my family some of us just wanted a place to be us; to not be judged for who we were, it needs to go back to that for all of its members soon.

We have already lost way too many wonderful creators from here let's not lose any more

And if you have noticed a difference in the last three months, mostly pertaining to my writing; I downloaded Grammarly and started taking classes with my old English teacher on ZOOM who, bless her heart, had to deal with my dumbass in school because I suck at punctuality.

I was very self-conscious about admitting that, but somebody reminded me there is no shame in learning something again and I have been working hard

[asrasotherbottom]

it is i, the fat!mc anon, glad that u liked my nice little message and im BACK with another ficlet scenario - in the beginning of julian's route he has to tug up mc's clothes to examine the eel bite/use his curse mark right? and a self-conscious mc might be Panicky but then he carries on as though he wasn't disgusted and maybe they confront him about it when they're in the garden and booyah time for him to charm and tell them how beautiful he finds them. hopefully u can work with this ❤️

hello god is that you its me amy.  (im gonna pull a bunch of dialogue from the game itself for the scenes) 

this got L O N G (1261 words) bless anyone who actually reads this. Content warning: i got #Real with the fat body anxiety so, keep yourselves safe. 

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The searing pain shot through their body as they laid back, barely conscious. They were still mildly incredulous that Julian was able to half carry them into the alleyway, but their nerves about it quickly subsided when the pain hit them at full force. 

“Let me see that bite.” Julian’s voice roused them to consciousness once more. They bobbed their head before realizing everything that would entail. The pain was excruciating but what would Julian think seeing their body like that. They couldn’t bear to suck in their stomach or tense it at all, nor did they have time to dwell on that thought much longer. 

“I’ll have to take that as a yes.” Julian slid up their shirt, his hands working nimbly over their abdomen. They stared at the stars, trying hard to focus neither on the pain nor on how disgusted Julian likely was, not with the blood and the bite, but with their body.  

“The bleeding won’t stop, damn.” As Julian peeled his gloves off, they noticed his murderer’s brand, dark pink against his pale skin. They shuddered as his cold hands pressed into their abdomen, barely registering the pain. Their thoughts ran over and over in their mind about if he truly thought they were worth helping, what he was thinking that he had to touch their fat stomach, how disgusted he was. They held still, continuing to struggle to stay conscious despite their racing thoughts. 

“Deep breaths. This will only take a minute or two.” After a moment the pain subsides, and they felt themselves relax for a moment, nearly forgetting what was going on around them. 

“Why are you helping me?” 

“Shouldn’t I? You’re injured. Surely you don’t think I’ll let you bleed out on the street. Now, are you feeling any better?” They were reassured that he wasn’t so disgusted he’d let them bleed out in the street. They nodded softly. 

“You’re lucky, believe it or not, those were vampire eels. One bite can bleed a man dry in minutes. The Count was fond of such pets.” They noticed the familiar looking magic mark glowing on his throat, staring just a moment too long. 

“Ah. Do you recognize your master’s handiwork? This was his parting gift to me. A curse.” The fresh blood collecting under his clothes drew their attention. They absentmindedly patted the matching spot on their own body that was still slick from their blood. The emotions of Julian seeing them like that came flooding back while he explained that the mark allowed him to take others’ wounds. 

“It won’t last. It never does.”His grin is undercut by the look of pain in his eyes. 

“Thank you.” 

“Don’t mention it.” Julian’s face flushes as he pointedly avoids their gaze. “I”m just glad you’re alright.” They both hear the guards a moment later, and Julian swiftly pulls them into an alleyway, pressing his body flush up against them. They could feel his warm blood on their body, for a moment they panicked at the thought of what he must be feeling pressed up against them, but quickly shook those thoughts from their head. There were far more pressing matters at hand. 

Julian looked at them with pain in his eyes, quietly uttering their name as if to say something, but they were interrupted by the guards. 

“Not the time.” Julian grabbed their hand and broke into a run. They kept up as best they could with him, their lungs burning in the cool air. Despite the open wound on his abdomen he was still fast and nimble. They worried that they wouldn’t be able to keep up and get him caught, what he would think of them then. 

Seeing a garden out of the corner of their eye, they tug hard on Julian’s hand, veering him off to the side. He helped them climb over the gate; they landed with a thud on the other side. The embarrassment they felt that he had to lift them twice tonight caused their face to flush even more than from the exertion. He followed after, landing gracefully on his feet. 

They try hard to muffle their hard breathing, but the garden is deadly silent save for the two of them. 

“Look at this place, ha, that was some quick thinking on your part. Looks like you’ve a knack for discovering hidden beauty.” Julian had already caught his breath and was wandering around the garden. 

He wrapped his arms around a statue. “Dangerous looking brute, eh?” “I like a little danger.” Their voice was steadying as they walked over and surveyed the statue. 

“It seems you’re full of hidden depths. But tell me…do you really mean that? You’re certainly brave, its true, but do you know what you’re getting into?” 

“Do you?” Julian’s eyes widened at their sharp retort, he stumbled over his words looking for a response, but coming up short. “Why…why aren’t you disgusted with me?” He looked taken aback for a moment, they couldn’t tell if the pain in his eyes was from their words or his still bleeding wound. 

“Why, why would I be?” Julian’s brows furrowed as he leaned back against the wall. They gestured vaguely at their body, but Julian’s expression didn’t change. 

“How hard it must’ve been to lift me those times, or when you had to touch my stomach for the bite?” They shuddered, pressing a finger into their soft abdomen as a visual for him. 

“Do you really think so little of me?” His words stung their ears as he spoke them. His voice was quieter than it as before. They hadn’t meant it like that. 

“Its not that its just…I always assume the worst. It hurts less that way.” To their surprise, a small smile graced Julian’s lips. 

“We’re alike then, you and me. Assume the worst and then when the worst happens…at least your hopes weren’t up.” His face falls by the end of his sentence, his gaze cast towards the ground. They cradled his cheek in their hand, bringing his gaze up to meet theirs. 

“What if I did get my hopes up this time? That maybe, since you didn’t hate what you saw, what you felt-” They were cut off, softly, by Julian. 

“Not just “didn’t hate”.” 

“What?” 

“I didn’t just “not hate” what I saw…what I felt.” Julian pulled them closer to him, one arm around their waist. Again they could feel the warm blood from his torso against them, but he seemed unfazed. Julian’s eyes searched theirs, looking for something that neither of them could quite put into words. As they pressed into his wound, he bit his bottom lip gently. 

“Dare I say I think you’re stunning?” His voice had more confidence than they expected from the blushing, soft doctor in front of them. They gazed at him in wide eyed wonder, feeling a blush creep across their cheeks. “Or that I wished my hands could skim across your body again.” His hands sunk into their sides as he slid them down their stomach. They bit their lip gently before craning their neck up, catching him in a kiss that neither of them seemed to expect. 

“Dare I say I think you’re worth getting my hopes up for?” Julian’s eyes no longer held any pain as they looked at them with open adoration. Before they could respond, a voice rang out through the night. 

“Guards!” They pulled back from him, looking for a way out. 

“Time to go.” He grabbed hold of their wrist, and whisked them out of the garden. 

[vampexx]

I have tried a few times now to write this post but I just couldnt go forward with posting it, thinking its too personal...

But...here it goes...

I have always been a painfully shy, paranoid and self conscious person so being this open is really scary for me to say the least due to my struggles with confidence and self esteem...

And drawing has been something I did for as long as I can remember...and it was something that helped me growing up...

However, ever since high school in 10th grade, I have had almost all my drive and love for drawing drained from me from comparing myself to the other, "better," students in my art class and from my own art teacher who at first, in 9th grade, started as a somewhat positive influence but then the next year being really negative and rude.

I was the student that was told, "youre not done, go back to your seat, keep working," when going to my teacher for advice. When he said this, he would only glance at my work before turning me away. All while the other students received kind, positive and constructive criticism when I did not.

He even addressed me, out loud, in front of the class, regarding my low grade, saying, "the only reason you arent failing my class is because you did your homework last night."

For context: the homework assignment was some drawing exercises...and the reason my grade was low was because, it was towards the end of the year, I had completely given up on myself and my art so I didnt turn in a project. One, because I never cared enough to finish it and two, it was an act of rebellion on my part.

That was the first and only class where I actually had an F-....I didnt even know it was possible to get that low of a grade...but trust me, it is. My math grade was never even that low.

Now, this art class was something you had to submit a portfolio for it to be reviewed so these 2 art teachers could decide if you were accepted into this art program or not. (It was exoensive too, if I remember correctly, it was like $200 per semester, and I did this for 2 years).

And against my own self consciousness, while feeling like I was far less qualified than others, I challenged my self doubt and fear of rejection and tried out anyways...

And a few weeks later, I found out I was accepted. That moment went down as one my top, most proud moments. I was proud of myself for a change.

Only for that to change a couple years later...where the little pride and confidence I had left in not only myself, but my skills in art, just dropped so low.

On top of that, my academic grades while in this art program, were also dropping considerably due to the amount of stress I put myself through trying to meet everyone elses expectations and standards.

My painting and drawing teacher (the nice one, not the rude one) would encourage my love and skill for cartooning, charcoal and shading. My digital art teacher (the one who ended up being so rude to me in the following year), helped me realize my strengths in photoshop and with a tablet. He did praise me a few times, which did help, but it didnt last very long.

My downfall was the art class that I took in 10th grade, with my previous digital art teacher, which was "figure drawing." Basically, it was learning how to draw anatomy and being anatomically correct which I found out very early on, was not my strength....and it was the whole focus of the class for the entire year so I was screwed. My strengths were cartooning and caricatures, not anywhere near anything anatomically correct. I kean, I could draw a skeleton, but when it came to human figures and poses....I dont know why but I had a tough time. So that was the year that things really went downhill fast.

It just took the fun out of drawing and turned it into something that felt too forced.

However, in my experience with this class I learned something about myself that Im actually glad that I did...

Its that art is just a hobby for me. I learned that I hate drawing on demand, in a certain time frame, and drawing what someone else wants me to draw.

I want to draw only on my own terms and at my own pace.

I couldnt see that about myself because I was too concerned with everyone else and their skills in drawing.

A few years after I quit the art program, I really didnt draw all that much aside from little doodles and unfinished sketches on the edges of my homework and class notes. I didnt like anything that I drew anymore.

And when you lose love, drive and interest in something you were once so passionate about....it leaves a gaping hole in you. It makes you feel pointless, like there nothing special about you. Nothing that sets you apart from everyone else. It really is as depressing as it sounds.

I was lost.

However. I FELT FREE. I didnt have a constant reminder from several different people that I wasnt as good. No one to make me feel lesser than someone else. No one to put me down.

As a result, my academic grades improved back to As and Bs (excluding math in the 11th grade, I had like a D).

---

And I realize now that maybe I didnt learn all of this the hard way for no reason. Maybe its to also help someone so they dont have to learn the hard way like I did. Or maybe, its to reach out to those have experienced the same or similar things as me so that they dont feel alone. So that they know that them and their skills are still very much valuable and valid.

Because everyone goes at their own pace, no two people are ever the same.

Anyone can be good at anything.

Now I didnt want this post to discourage anyone from taking or considering an art class. Please understand that my experiences are unique to myself. Art classes are actually very helpful as long as your surrounded by positive and encouraging influences.

Just remember to be careful. Respect yourself and your abilities. Be patient with yourself. Have faith in yourself, dont give up. And last, but not least, know your worth and what you deserve when it comes to treatment.

---

Anyways, so up until a couple of years ago, I slowly started to get back into drawing.

I do love to draw, along with architecture and interior/ fashion design.

Im working to rediscover myself, even though I dont want to do it professionally...

So as I did years ago, I will challenge my self doubt again and try to put myself back out there.

So as anxietal as I am, I want to ask...

Would anyone be interested in seeing something I drew?

Might be an odd question and it might sound attention seeking but Im really just testing the waters....

I will add one little doodle I did the other day just to see....

I know its not that great and thats its nothing amazing but....its something Im proud of...however small it may be.

Im not sure how I feel when it comes to reposting...

I feel like I dont want people to repost it...

In case I ever feel like taking it down...

Idk.

Anyways....Im literally shaking Im so nervous...

But...Im trying to repair some old damage.

Have a miraculous day and thank you for your patience.

Again, please dont repost. At least until Im a little more comfortable.

Thank you

[nomnomsik]

Hi babe! I love your writing please be more confident okay!!! Your bio says you don’t have any requests sooo, Can I get a Yandere Jin reacting to you messaging your ex boyfriend daily?

A/N: Thank you for this interesting idea *o* !! Idk if this is what you wanted ;; i focused more on Jin’s reaction to it ahaa… Thank you for the request though! Jin’s the rich rich rich boi out of all of them so for me there’s so much I can write Please do not read if you are sensitive to yandere/dark themes!

Word Count: 537

“What are you doing?”

A sharp voice interrupted your thoughts, as you looked up from your phone. You’ve been on your phone for almost 30 minutes. You awkwardly sat up from the soft couch and cleared your throat.

“Oh, I was just messaging a friend” you replied back, cheerfully. You didn’t want to upset Jin so you played it off like it was nothing. Over the course of your relationship with him, you had to develop a fake happy personality. Jin hated when you argued back at him because of his ridiculous superiority complex.

“Hand over the phone now.” Jin’s authoritative tone frightened you, so you got up and handed it over, hands shaking in fear.

Not even 2 seconds, you hear a scoff. You look up at Jin and you clearly see an expression of disgust.

“Y/n, why are you still talking to him? Do you enjoy having low standards? I’m right here. Handsome, intelligent, responsible, hard-working, and reliable. But you still keep in touch with this useless shit who couldn’t even make you happy?”

You clenched your knuckles and looked down. If he was trying to rile you up, you had to calm down even though you wanted to shout and correct him. What did he know? He didn’t know anything about your previous relationship. Sure the two of you broke up, but you didn’t end on bad terms. If anything y/e/n was really kind and sweet. Y/e/n always asked about your opinion and wanted to make sure he always respected you as an individual.

“Well, we’re still friends so… I keep in contact with him” you muttered. Jin eyes you in disapproval.

“Friends? What does he have to offer to be your friend?”

There it was. Jin’s specialty. He always judged people on their worth to him, rather than who they were. After getting no response, Jin smiled in victory.

“Well then, you’re going to delete his number now, right? Or would you rather prefer losing many of your privileges?’

“I guess you’re right, Jin” you gritted out.

He kneeled down and caressed your face, gently brushing his thumbs over your cheeks. You felt his soft eyes staring at your figure and the ends of his hair brush against your face as he slowly got onto the end of the sofa. Your eyes jolted open when you felt something wet touch your neck.

“Jin…” you whined, trying to push him off. “Please.. No marks. I don’t like being self-conscious all the time.” You winced in pain a second later as you felt your skin being squeezed. You felt another shock of pain higher up on your neck. Then another one on your shoulder. You sighed. Jin smirked, leaning back and staring at his work.

Jin brought his arms around your body and pulled you down onto the sofa. Your back was laying on top of his chest. His arms trapping your body in his hold. You squirmed in the vulnerable state and position you were in. Jin sighed,

“I’m not going to do anything. Just stay still. I want to admire you.” You laid there peacefully until you felt his hand slowly make its way up your leg.