#and its like... well i needed 4 surgeries in the last 4 years. i needed the ER like 20 times.

[unidentified-ending]

What's up bro! I was just wondering weather you could make a little oneshot-headcanon about a male student in aizawas class who's younger brother (age 4-5) is quite dangerous due to his quirk but he's never done anything and he's been declined from multiple daycares and his parents are super stressed but Aizawa ends up taking the male reader younger brother to U.A's daycare and everyone in the dorms loves him bc he's so cute.

Thanks man, have a good day!!!!!

A/N: of course bro, this request is so cute so buckle up for some fluffy, maybe ooc aizawa and a cute younger brother.

This can be read as a trans or cis dude but if trans js imagine you got top surgery at a young age (not that young tho!). It's not mentioned anyways

Your parents were stressed. Like stressed stressed.

Your younger brother with (h/c) hair and (e/c) eyes was boping around in your living room.

His name was Kuragari and he could destroy all of reality in one clap of his hand

But it's never happened before, but most people stay away from the cute ball of happiness.

When he was a child (2-3), everyone would stay away from him but he had you

Y/n L/n, a (personality trait) boy who was in class 1a, UA. Aspiring hero, and the best brother anyone could ask for.

Anyways back to the point.

Your parents were stressed, Kuragari's power was getting in the way of his daycare applications.

He was dangerous and so nobody came near him bc of "the sake of the other children"

And your parents both worked and you went to school so it was a hell of a time trying to do something for him

He'd usually get a baby sitter but he'd cry a couple of hours in, begging for you and his parents.

Which made either you, your mother or father come home from work early and have to settle him down

But that when the offer of you life came true.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Y/n" you hear a faint voice call for you.

"Y/n!" The same voice but louder said again.

"Y/N!" The person said and you shot up straight away, the redness in your eyes and the bags under them were a huge sign of no sleep.

You looked around, you were in your classroom but nobody was in there, just your homeroom teacher calling out for you.

"Yes sir! I'm up, I'm up." You exclaimed into the empty room, your brother had woken up crying at exactly 2:27 am yesterday night and your parents wouldn't wake up so you had to deal with Kuragari by yourself and that lasted duntil 4:16 am when he decided to sleep. And you knew you had to wake up at 7 tomorrow so only 3 hours of sleep didn't toll well on your body.

"It's break, why are you still sleeping?" Aizawa questioned, though not making any visable facial expressions.

"I-uh, I just didn't get enough sleep. I'm okay" You said, blinking in drowsiness

Aizawa raised an eyebrow and said "Are you sure? Is there something I need to know?"

"Nah, not really. It's just my younger brother Kuragari. He's been declined by so many daycares' bescuse his quirk is too dangerous for the daycare but hes never actually used it before." You explain and Aizawa listens intently.

"He can break reality in one clap of his hands but he's so cute, he's 5 this year and me, my mother and my father have been extremely stressed about this issue because nobody can baby sit him for more then five hours before he starts to throw a fit and cry. And we have to take care of him at night and its very tiring."

Aizawa listened to your story all the way through and at the end he said, "How about we take him and we can take care of him? It's up to your parents though." Your eyes glimmered at the idea and you told him you'd ask them this evening.

That evening~~~~

"Mum, Dad. I've got news! Sensei Aizawa said he's take in Kuragari into the U.A daycare! Only if you want." You exclaimed when you got into the house and ran straight into your living room.

"Wait what?" Your father said, a hint of surprisment in his voice. "Really?" You mother said, a huge smile growing on her face.

"Yes!" You shouted with picking up your little brother and he immediately started laughing and clapping his hands together in excitement even though he had no idea what you were talking about.

A few hours later

"So what do we need to do to get Kuragari in there?" Your mother said while feeding him some food.

"Nothing, we just have to bring him in tomorrow and they take him in, look after him and there is another sweet girl called Eri in there. She's so sweet and I think they would get along together."

"Are you sure about this, honey?" Your father said to your mother

"It's a opportunity we must take. For the sake of our sleep" Your mother yawned.

Your father nodded on agreement.

"Alright then, but it's your responsibility to dress and wash him in the morning because we have work tomorrow. Fair?" Your father asked while taking a sip of his coffee.

"Fair" you agreed while picking up Kuragari and placing him on the couch and turning on some baby shows.

The next morning~~~~~~

You looked at a snoozing Kuragari at 6:50 am. You knew he was gonna throw a fit about waking this early but he had to get up.

You picked up the snoozing boy and cradled him in your hands, gently rubbing your finger over his forehead to wake him.

He started to fidget in your hands and kick his legs about. That's when he opened his ayes and started wailing.

"Shh, shh it's okay. I need you to wake up for me." You say as you kissed his head and put him in his baby chair.

You made his baby breakfast and ate your own, he was still glaring at you for waking him up early.

After that, you ran a bath for the two of you while he played with some of his toys.

"Kuragari." You exclaimed and he came crawling over to the bathroom with a toy car in his hand.

You undressed him and put him in the bath and you also got in. He flapped around with his bath toys in the bath, accidentally hitting you with some bubbles.

"You silly child" you sighed before taking him out and dressing him in some new clothes.

"Alright lil bro, I'm gonna carry you to school today. So climb on my back." You said while taking your keys and unlocking your front door.

You crouched down do he could climb on your back and he crawled up your back and seated himself right on your shoulders.

Off you two go to school~~~

Surprisingly you were the only two there in your class. Mean class did start at 8:20 and you two got there at 7:59 so it was pretty early.

You went to sit at your desk and then you took your brother off your head and placed him on your desk, then placed your own head on the desk, hoping for some of your own sleep.

Your promised it would 5 minutes but 5 minutes turned into 15.

Your self-consciousness was telling you to get awake and that's when you shot up awake, immediately in search for you younger brother.

"Kuragari" you said, your eyes darted across the room but all you could see were your fellow classmates crowded around something..or someone.

"Where's my brother?" You said in panic and the whole class looked at you in surprise.

"You mean this bundle of joy" Denki said as he held your smiling and laughing brother in his hands.

Your face immediately relaxed, you hadn't lost him.

"I'm so sorry guys-" you started but Mina interrupted.

"There no need to be sorry he's so cute!" She said while the rest if the class agreed with him. You went to join the classmates of yours and when he saw you he did his signature grabby hands and you picked him up.

"Bakugo saw you sleeping when he came in then me spotted your brother on his desk. He carefully just put him back on your desk and sat down."

Bakugo tsked at his desk but didn't deny it.

"What's he even doing here anyways?" Sero says as he laughs with Kuragari.

"Oh it's a long story, so-" then a door slammed open and Aizawa walked in.

"What is going here?" He questioned and everyone moved out the way of Kuragari and Aizawa had one look at the child and back at you and he knew you two were siblings.

Kuragari on the other hand started to cry at the old grizzled man and immediately started to grab onto Deku's shirt.

"Sorry man, he's a bit grumpy. I'll take him out." You say to deku and he waves it off completely fine.

When you walk out of the room, Aizawa walked out as well.

"Sorry sensei, he's just-"

"Yeah yeah, I know. Let's just get him in the daycare and we can start lessons" Aizawa said and the two of you walked to the daycare in silence.

You dropped him off to the daycare in silence where he met Eri and they got along together.

The two of you walked back together to class in silence before Aizawa said. "He looks like you".

"Really?" You say, surprised at the comment.

"Yeah, I bet he's a hard one to deal with."

"Oh he is" you say, enjoying the small talk.

"I can see where he gets it from" he says and you accidentally let out a chuckle.

You knew you had a good teacher.

[angryschnauzer]

January 11th 2024

Yeah its been a while since i updated. I haven't had the energy to if i'm honest, but here we go.

Hubby had his brain surgery end of November '23. The tumour they took out was a nasty one, somewhere between the size of a golf ball and a kiwi fruit. The wound has healed well with little to no side affects apart from some double vision, but he was checked out for that and it is a common after affect of brain trauma and was remedied with an eyepatch for a few weeks.

We met with the Neuro Oncology team at Royal Marsden Hospital in London. They are one of the best (if not the best) cancer treatment centres in the whole country, and we worked through a treatment plan.

Just before Christmas hubby was also cleared to have shoulder reconstructive surgery (he broke his shoulder bone in the original seizures back at the end of October '23). There was a really small window of time between it being enough time after the brain surgery that he could go back under general anaesthetic, but also enough time to mostly heal before he started Radiotherapy and Chemo, so just 5 days before Christmas hubby was in and out of our local hospital in a single day to have that surgery.

Christmas was a quiet and subdued affair. I also herniated a disk in my back the day Hubby had surgery (i was clearing the deep freeze out ready for grocery delivery), so it meant both he and I were dosed up to our eyeballs on strong painkillers for most of the holiday, and Little Dude spent the majority of the break either playing video games or building his new lego sets.

Two days before Christmas i also had to have emergency dental work (i had been grinding my teeth and had previously cracked a tooth) and whilst i was in the dentists office some utter idiot crashed into my car. That was the last thing i needed but i simply handed it all over to my insurance company (who are aware of my husbands situation) and they arranged a hire vehicle and sorted repairs.

Onto the start of 2024. This is the first week of Radiotherapy and Chemo for Hubby. He is getting very tired and fatigued already from the Radiotherapy, but thankfully no nausea from the chemo as yet, but that could change over time. He is scheduled for a full schedule of 6 weeks of this dual treatment, where we are having to visit Royal Marsden every day Mon - Fri for the six weeks, and then he also takes the chemo 7 days a week for the six weeks.

He'll then have 4 to 6 weeks 'off' treatment for his body to relax and recuperate, but will have scans and MRI's during that time to gauge what further treatment will be, but its likely to be just chemo but a stronger dose, but no radiotherapy. The chemo is to be 3 weeks off one week on, so a 4 weekly cycle.

The one thing we have discovered isn't done is prognosis's. When we first got to Royal Marsden we were shocked as they started talking about years, and explained that although it was a really nasty tumour, it was found very early and whilst it was still relatively small for its kind. They've discussed things like 'this years treatment plan then we'll look at next years', and also for a while Hubby was being considered for a clinical trial which candidates who have prognosis's of 12 months+ are only considered for. In the end he didn't meet the criteria (his cholesterol was too high). The Macmillian Nurses also have been talking to us about Mobility Car assistance schemes where you can get govt assistance financially and get an adapted vehicle on a 2 year rolling lease. All these timings are reassuring in one way, but worrying in another - we have no idea what the future holds and it really does cement in stone that our time is limited and could end any moment, and makes it very difficult to make any long term plans. You don't realise how much of your life is preplanned until you end up in this situation and aren't sure if you can book your kid onto the school residential trip in 5 months time.

Should anyone want the mundane daily day-to-day life updates you can follow me on my personal instagram @simone_with_an_e its generally a load of utter boring bollocks, but i try to keep it updated daily with updates when i can as its a lot easier to do 1 short paragraph than a big update.

For me my mental health is a little better now that i've had time to process Hubby's diagnosis and that he is getting treatment. There are still days or hours when i fall apart, and it could be something as simple as listening to a song on the radio as i drive back from dropping Little Dude at school and i realise the song would be lovely at his funeral. I end up having to pull over and have a cry whilst switching the radio off. I'm loosing weight and aging quickly, my hair is turning grey from stress and i realised i've aged about 15 years in the last 3 from stress. My appetite comes and goes, and things like red meat now turn my stomach and i can't digest it. But i also haven't drunk alcohol since the day before Hubby had his seizure back in October. I feel like i need to stay 'alert' in case i need to rush him to the hospital for something. I don't miss it as such, but I miss the ability to fully relax. Its hard to describe but i feel like at the moment i've lost myself and am just functioning to care for those around me, going through the motions as such.

Anyway, this has been a long update. I do still lurk here, you may see me pop up in notifications liking something, but at the moment i don't feel its right to start putting fandom stuff back on here yet. I do hope to get back to writing at some point. I miss it and the unfinished stories plague my mind as i have such lovely plans for story arc's and really want to finish them.

Take care all,

Schnauz

xxx

[modkatisbacc]

Guess who's Dad is getting Open Heart Surgery!!

Yeah. You guessed it!

Anyway, my dad told me today that his heart doctor wanted him into some surgery Tuesday, for some Catheder (I did NOT spell that right) and after the testing, they'll determine if he NEEDS The Surgery for Open Heart, but his doctor has straight up told him that the answer is likely yes.

So, here's the issues we're facing.

1: My dad's broke. Still no job. I am not Allowed to Support him. He cannot come down where I am to live for a while either.

2: His health is getting worse.

3: Since my last update on this, Things got SHITTIER. I have doubled the price of my One shots. (From 10 to 20 dollars). His phone bill (($55 dollars)) cannot be paid, Messenger was the only way to get in touch with him, and as of about an hour ago, that means we have no way to contact him, unless I go through my other uncle, supposedly.

4: While writing this someone freaking sent my Kofi 20 dollars. I... Am so Grateful,,,

5: Putting the Rules and Stuff on this post.

6: If you cannot donate, please share! He will straight up have no where to go after this surgery, basically. I am not SURE where he is living currently, as I have not physically seen him in two years.

Rules and Things I write under the cut (Has been updated)

Rules: Pretty lax on everything, literally just nothing NSFW/Incest/underage.

I will write for anything, but if it doesn't fall into a fandom I'm already in, or a fandom I haven't looked at content for in quite a while, I will need extra information. Heck, send me a few episodes pertaining to the plot/character of the show you want me to write about. That's doable.

The fandoms I regularly write/am somewhat active in the fandom for: Ninjago, RWBY, World of Warcraft, Gen:Lock, Venturiantale *More information needed for VT, its been a long while*

I write for OC's, as well. Please give me a detailed description of the character(s)! I love writing ocs... *Gestures at PSTD, which is about to go under a fourth revision because I'm STILL not happy with it*

Oneshots: 20 dollars up from 10.

Multichapter: 30 dollars For TWO CHAPTERS. The basic price is for TWO Chapters. +5 for each chapter afterwards. You get as many chapters as you pay for.

I can't really draw. If I can figure something out with art, I will absolutely add art comissions to the mix. Hopefully I can soon.

Support Katlynn Bloodmoore on Ko-fi! ❤️. ko-fi.com/katlynnbloodmoore - Ko-fi ❤️ Where creators get support from fans through donations, memberships, shop sales and more! The original 'Buy Me a Coffee' Page.

[booksforevermore13]

Make it up to me later (I love you)

...

Summary: 4 times Percy ditched Annabeth for missions and she didn't know why, and 1 time he didn't. Angst and fluff and a lot of percabeth. AU, where Percy is a special forces agent and Annabeth is a doctor. Rated T for mentions of death and mild swearing.

Author's Note: Credits go to @redlion8123 for letting me use their headcanon while writing this fic. The idea is theirs and I am so thankful to them for letting me use it. I let myself go wild with this one, and as this is my first 4+1 fic, I hope you all like it. :D As always, I will be immensely grateful for all those who take the time to read this. Reviews will be much appreciated, and I always welcome constructive criticism.

...

I

...

"He's coding," Annabeth stated plainly, her voice tight as years of training set into place, and she handed over her scalpel to the attending nurse, starting on chest compressions.

Thirty seconds in and she knew it was of no use.

"Charge to 150," she barked as the nurse brought over the defibrillator paddles. "Clear!"

She watched the monitor burst into activity and then die down again.

"Push one of epi!" she commanded. "Resume chest compressions."

Inside, a thin veil of panic was taking over her chest. This man couldn't die, she thought to herself. She'd known Henry for far too long, attended his wedding, been in the room when his daughter was born. She couldn't afford to lose him.

"Charge to 200," she said, peering intently at the chest monitor. A minute had already passed. With his condition, a minute was too long to last.

She waited with bated breath as the shock passed through his body, and then sighed in relief as she saw the heart monitor changing.

"ROSC," she stated, her heart hammering in her chest. "I'll finish off the surgery, and then we'll move him to ICU for further monitoring."

Voices around her agreed in unison as she was yet again handed her ten-blade and forceps, as yet again, her fingers descended into the chest of a decade old friend.

Annabeth really needed a break.

…

She sighed as she walked through the halls of the hospital and reached her office, collapsing immediately on her sofa. Annabeth ran her hands through her hair, which over the years, had lost its shine and was falling apart in her hands.

She really needed to stop taking on back to back 36 hour shifts.

Annabeth groaned as her neck snapped painfully as she turned to lay on her side, her eyes settling on the wall hanging that her boyfriend had given to her on their anniversary. At just the right angle, the sunlight hit the ornament in such a way that the wall above became a mural of waves crashing against each other. It was mesmerising to watch, and on hard days, it had become her solace.

"Hey!" Annabeth turned, as Piper walked in, the familiar scent of lavenders wafting into her office. Annabeth smiled in welcome, as Piper settled in on her sofa. The latter peered in concern as she took in the resigned figure of her counterpart.

"How many hours has it been since you properly slept?"

"A couple of days at most." Annabeth grunted as she struggled to find a proper place to rest her neck in.

"Mother of Zeus, you've got to stop doing that!" Piper exclaimed, her light brown hair glinting in the sunlight, and appearing a gorgeous amber. Piper was stunning, and Annabeth had once questioned whether surgery was really the line for her instead of more fashion oriented professions. But then, Piper had put her in her place, and once she did, that was all.

"I know," Annabeth muttered, her eyes once again floating towards the waves on her ceiling. They were now a bright sea-green, and Annabeth smiled as she was reminded of the eyes of her beloved.

"You heading home?" she asked Piper, who nodded in response.

"Jason wants me back for something."

"Jason always wants you back for something."

"Yeah, well." Piper smiled fondly and Annabeth chuckled as she saw a dreamy expression settling in on her friend' s face. A year into their relationship, but Annabeth had never seen that expression on Piper for anybody else.

"You have that date too, don't you?" she fired back, and Annabeth blushed, as she looked away in embarrassment.

Piper cackled in response.

Truth be told, it was the only thing Annabeth had been looking forward to for weeks to come. Her boyfriend was an international aid worker, meaning he was more often than not, travelling to various places for his job. This meant they couldn't meet up as often as Annabeth would have liked, but it made no difference. In her thirty four years of life, he was the first person with whom Annabeth could truly let go of herself, and her job and all the tribulations it brought.

Now, three weeks later, they would finally be meeting again, and after hours and hours of surgery and stress, not that those never overlapped, those few hours she'd spend with him would make up for it.

"Few hours doing what, exactly?" Annabeth smiled, as Percy's voice resonated through her head, his crooked smile making home in her mind.

She wouldn't admit to herself, but she was completely and irrevocably in love with him.

"What's it been, a few weeks?" Piper asked, after she'd finally calmed down and gathered herself.

"Hmm," Annabeth said, "Speaking of, I should really be going now. He'll be here any minute."

Piper smiled again, that same coy expression on her face, and Annabeth whacked her as she got up from the sofa. "You're not going to change?" she yelled, as Annabeth headed towards the door.

"I won't need to," she quipped as the door closed behind her.

Annabeth laughed softly as she heard the thud of a pillow against the door.

…

Where are you?

She typed, sighing as she felt a few drops of rain on her head.

Percy was never this late. And he'd never not replied to her texts before.

She heard the ring of her phone and her hands fumbled as her fingers swiped at the screen to accept the call.

"Percy?"

"Annabeth!" She jerked away as his voice boomed across the receiver. Annabeth glared at a passerby as she hurriedly walked over to a corner on the street, ignoring the now constant slew of rain over her.

"Percy?"

"Annabeth," his voice came through again, a note of urgency in it. "Annabeth, I'm so sorry I don't think I can make it. My flight's been redirected to Chicago, and I don't think I'll be on time for the date."

Annabeth felt her heart sinking, as she mustered up the voice to answer back. "You're already late!" she yelled back, and smiled sadly as she heard Percy laugh through the phone.

"I'll make it up to you!" he yelled. "I'm sorry, I have to go now!"

"It's okay!" she said, but the call had already ended. Annabeth looked at the phone screen, willing his name back. She couldn't help it, but she felt small pinpricks of tears at the back of her eyes.

She'd been looking forward to seeing him again.

"Annabeth!" she heard someone yell her name. Annabeth looked up to see Piper in a small Bentley, Jason by her side, both of them peering at her, through the rain, "What's wrong?"

"Percy couldn't make it." she replied, as she walked over to them. "Drop me home?"

"You never have to ask." Piper said gently, as Jason smiled warmly back at her, tipping his cap in greeting.

Annabeth smiled, her throat clogged, as she got into the back of his car.

Even the rain didn't seem to appease her today.

...

II

...

"So, its like a ball, but for doctors?" Percy quipped, one eyebrow raised, and Annabeth shoved him, laughing as he feigned injury.

"It's not a ball," she argued.

"And yet, you're still going?"

Annabeth chuckled incredulously, as the couple walked hand in hand across the streets of New York. Percy had picked her up to get doughnuts, and she'd gotten the plain glazed, while he'd settled for blueberry. Apparently, her choice was extremely basic, but Percy had sneaked in a few bites from her nonetheless.

"What do you mean?" she asked, her eyebrows furrowed together.

"You know that fairytale that little children like to hear before going to bed?"

Annabeth looked back blankly.

"There's a movie too."

"What-"

"The one where the girl goes to a ball and there's a prince-"

"Cinderella?" she offered and Percy snapped his fingers, elated.

"That's the one!" he exclaimed and Annabeth laughed.

"This is absolutely not a Cinderella story," she argued back, shaking her head in exasperation. Around them, people sped across trying to reach their destination in the shortest amount of time possible. It was like a race against time, but Annabeth had by now, accepted that they'd always be on the losing side.

"Of course it is! There's a ball, and there's a prince, that's me," Percy pointed to him in all seriousness. "There's you-"

"This is ridiculous. You're ridiculous." She shook her head again and Percy put his head back as he laughed, letting go of Annabeth's hand and putting it across her shoulders, pulling her closer to him.

"You know I'm right."

"Absolutely not."

He made a face, and Annabeth poked him on his side, while he squirmed away. The couple walked hand in hand and they slowed down as they neared Annabeth's apartment, a small cosy set-up in a three story brownstone.

"You're sure you're coming?" she asked worriedly, and Percy turned around, taking her face in his hands.

"There'll be no prince without his Cinderella now, would it?" he said in mock seriousness, and Annabeth chuckled, shoving him gently.

She stepped forward, wrapping her arms around his waist, while he reciprocated, enveloping her in his warmth. Annabeth closed her eyes, enjoying a moment away from the chaos of New York City.

"I'm just saying, you don't have to come."

"But I will," she heard Percy say and sighed in content. "I promise."

October had arrived and in consequence, the leaves had started falling. New York changed colour, Annabeth had observed, unlike San Francisco, which seemed never changing. No, in New York, there was always something to be seen, and felt.

Right now, it seemed orange.

"I have to go," she muttered.

"Don't."

Annabeth smiled, then raised her face to look into his eyes. Percy bent forward, kissing her softly.

"Six pm. Sharp." she said sternly as she stepped away from him, and towards the door.

"Yes ma'am."

…

Three hours later, Annabeth walked towards her mirror, checking her reflection in it for the umpteenth time.

She was wearing a light blue dress that hugged her waist and went flowing down to her ankles. Her hair had been let down for once, and her eyelashes had been curled and painted as per Piper's instructions.

She didn't look like herself.

Annabeth fussed over her earrings, smoothing her hair down, as she debated upon tying it up in a bun just for the sake of it.

Who'd care?

Percy would, she thought to herself, then realising he actually wouldn't. Annabeth smiled, as she thought about him, his ever-ready tongue that had got him into more trouble than he could account for, his eyes which seemed to understand everything and everyone in the world, and his heart, that had made room for her in the same way hers had done for him.

Sunlight flickered in through the window in her bedroom, as Annabeth paced to and fro, waiting for Percy's call.

She'd called him twice, and he'd disconnected every time, and Annabeth was slowly getting worried.

Her phone pinged, and she unlocked it, scanning through Percy's new message.

I'm sorry

'What?', she thought to herself, and called Percy again.

This time, he picked up.

"What the hell, Percy?" she barked into the phone, sensing Percy wincing on the other end.

"Someone I know got into an accident," he explained hurriedly, but Annabeth snapped.

"What in the world are you talking about? What accident?"

"Uhh.." Percy stammered, "car accident. It's bad, and I'm so sorry -"

"Cut it out, Seaweed Brain," Annabeth sighed. "Do I need to go to the hospital? How bad is it, do I-"

"No, no," Percy denied, and Annabeth frowned as static came through the other end. "You don't need to do that. You just go to the party. You don't need to come, it's fine. It's okay."

"Percy - "

"I'm so sorry, Annabeth. I know I promised."

Annabeth bit her lip, stopping it from trembling. She ran her hands through her hair, messing up her little hairdo, as she resigned herself to the bed.

"It's fine," she said, more to convince herself. "It's okay."

"I'll make it up to you."

Annabeth nodded, feeling like a jerk for feeling like this, as static came though the call, and it disconnected. She blinked away rapid tears, not wanting to ruin her makeup.

She hadn't wanted to go to this party alone, but she'd make do.

Annabeth sighed, letting her hands fall down to her sides, composing herself for the upcoming slew of discomfort.

Cinderella would have to go alone, she quipped to herself, smiling sadly.

...

III

...

They'd fallen into an easy schedule after that. On the days he'd be in New York City, he'd come to pick up Annabeth at the hospital at the end of her shifts. He'd become popular among the nurses, having won them over by his quick wit and charm. Around the hospital, he'd started being known as Doctor Chase's new guy, something that Annabeth had secretly liked.

However, an incessant suspicion had settled itself in her head that something was up with him. With his untimely disappearances and excuses that didn't line up with each other, Annabeth had that feeling in the back of her mind that something was wrong.

Piper and her had chalked it up to her paranoia.

Today had been one of her worser days. She had lost two of her patients in a span of three hours from each other, and each time she had had to listen to the daunting sound of the heart monitor flatlining.

Ten years as a cardiothoracic surgeon, and she could still never get herself accustomed to that sound.

All doctors unanimously agreed that the worst thing about losing a patient was telling their family. There was nothing worse than to see their expectant faces as they approached them, and then seeing the light leave their eyes. Annabeth had once been on the receiving end of it, and till date, she could never decide which evil was better.

Worst of all, their faces always seemed to stay with her.

"Miss Charlton's mother, please," she asked the receptionist, Margot, as she reached the waiting room.

Margot pointed to a seat at the extreme right corner at the back of the hall. Annabeth sucked in a big breath, steeling her nerves as she entered the room.

Her heart hammered painfully as she saw the woman get up and run to her expectantly.

"Ma'am," she began softly, but Annabeth could already see that the woman had understood.

"No-"

"Ma'am, the moment I opened up her heart-"

"My baby," the woman wailed, clutching at her heart, as she staggered towards the bench beside them.

Annabeth looked to the ground, her chest feeling tighter by the second. She didn't even think she knew the mother's name. Annabeth had always addressed her as Mrs. Charlton. Or Evelyn's mother.

Curse the Gods.

It was protocol that the doctor couldn't leave until they had informed the guardian about the happenings in the O.R.

After all, it was their ward the doctor had been operating on. It was their ward the doctor had killed. Annabeth had killed.

She sucked in a breath, blinking back tears as she approached Mrs. Charlton again. Annabeth had no right. No right to feel what she felt, when a mother in front of her had lost her baby.

Mrs Charlton howled in her grief.

"Ma'am," she said, and she stepped back as the woman turned on her, her eyes blazing, clouded with grief and anger, as she walked over to Annabeth and slapped her across the cheek.

Annabeth gasped, her hands flying towards her cheek, as she staggered away from the woman in front of her.

"You killed her," she snarled.

"I," Annabeth stammered. "I," she said, her voice breaking.

She tried to explain, but then turned and ran.

…

Outside, she took her phone out, ignoring the looks that she was receiving, as she dialled Percy's number, hoping to Zeus he'd pick up.

Still sobbing, she slipped into an empty on-call room, locking it shut as she sank to the floor, her legs trembling, the emotions of the day catching up to her.

As the call disconnected, she frantically dialled his number again.

"Hey, Annabeth," she heard his voice, and scrambled to put the receiver close to her ear. "I'm sorry, can I call you-"

"Percy," she sobbed, completely breaking apart, as she tried desperately to get herself under control. She'd killed that girl, and that was all she could think about.

"Annabeth?" Percy's voice turned frantic. "Annabeth? Are you okay? Are you hurt? Where are you?"

"No, no, no," she shook her head. "I'm fine, I'm fine," she blubbered. Somebody was yelling behind Percy, yelling at someone, at him? Annabeth heaved in a breath, as she fumbled to reduce the call volume.

"Hey, hey," Percy said. "What's wrong? Where are you?" His voice seemed urgent, and the person behind him was still yelling, making things inside her head seem even more deafening.

The voice in her head was mocking her for trying to find comfort in her boyfriend when she had just left a life destroyed, not a few metres away from her.

Annabeth stifled a sob, as she answered. "I'm at the hospital. I just…I just, had a bad day."

"Fuck, Annabeth," Percy said, her voice growing more frantic by the minute.

Annabeth jerked away from the phone as a weird static came up, followed by Percy yelling that he'd call later.

"No, wait," Annabeth cried, as the phone disconnected, "Wait!"

She screamed into her hand, pulling at her hair in frustration as she flung the phone away from her.

Tears leaked out, as the day's events flashed across her mind. The first patient, who'd been a John Doe, then Evelyn, Evelyn's mom, and now….and now Percy.

Annabeth heaved out a sob, as she finally rested her head against the door, her body slumping in defeat. She closed her eyes, and let herself be lost to the world.

Days later, Percy appeared at her door, enveloping her in his arms. With him, came an excuse and the sound of Annabeth's heart breaking.

...

IV

...

"Can I see the trauma entry records for last month?" Annabeth asked the nurse behind the counter. She had a slight idea her name was Olivia, but Annabeth had never met her before other than by word of mouth from the other nurses.

"May I know why, Doctor Chase?" the nurse(Olivia?) questioned, as she got up from her chair, rummaging under her desk for a second, before she got out a slim file, filled with patient records.

"I just," Annabeth hesitated, "I just want to check something."

Olivia nodded, handing her the file, and Annabeth flipped through it, looking for the records under July 15. A few broken bones, a heart attack, and yes, a car accident. For a second, Annabeth's hopes were lifted, a cruel irony, until she saw that the time of entry had been at 11 pm in the night.

She had called Percy in the evening.

Annabeth felt her heart sinking as she read through the contents of the patient record, eyes flickering back to the time of entry.

11:58 pm. Annabeth had talked to him that evening at 6:59. She knew because she had checked.

"Everything okay, Doctor Chase?" the nurse questioned, and Annabeth hurriedly blinked back tears as she closed the file, returning it back to her.

"Yeah," she managed to say, "everything's fine." She turned to go, before pausing and briefly turning back. "I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name - "

"Olivia. Olivia Hansley."

Annabeth smiled, nodding in thanks, then turned to go.

…

There had been no flight redirected to Chicago either. There hadn't been a flight in the first place.

Annabeth sat down heavily on her sofa, running her hands through her hair. He had bailed on her. Percy had bailed on her.

Already, a lump had set in on her throat, as she clenched and unclenched her fingers, trying to distract herself.

She had been cheated on once by her ex. Annabeth wouldn't be surprised if Percy had done that to her too.

She stifled a sob, raising her head as her eyes fell on the mural that he had given to her. Again, the waves seemed iridescent compared to her bland grey walls, but this time, unlike all the other times when it had managed to calm her, Annabeth felt enraged.

He had lied to her so many times. Disappointed her, left her waiting while he screwed some other girl.

But still, it was Percy.

And until a few hours ago, Annabeth had felt that she had known him. Known him just like he had known her. She had fallen in love with the boy with the green eyes and crooked smile. Who had shown up when she'd needed him Who'd brought her back from the broken shell of a person that she had once been.

He at least deserved a chance. And Annabeth hoped to all the gods of Olympus that she was wrong. For once.

She got up from her sofa, dialling the ever-familiar number on her phone. She heard it ring once….twice…..thrice, then heard Percy's voice on the other end.

"Hello?"

"I want to meet up," she declared, her voice assuming the one she adopted in the operating room, when she meant business and nothing else.

"Annabeth, what?" Percy's voice came through the other end, and again, she could hear the familiar sound of static, that she had gotten used to on calls with Percy.

"I want to meet up," she repeated.

"Annabeth, I don't think I'll be able to -"

"Why?" Annabeth demanded, anger coursing through her veins. "What could you have possibly going on today, on a Saturday, that you won't be able to meet me for a few hours?"

"Annabeth, I'm sorry - "

"I'm so sick of you apologising," she interrupted. "What, you have some flight that's been redirected to the Philippines now, or somebody's dying again? Is it some other girlfriend that I don't know-"

"Annabeth, just hear me out," Percy's voice reverberated through the speaker, but Annabeth could hurl her phone at the very mural he'd given her.

"What, Percy? What can you explain? Because I have waited for you for so many months, overlooked all of your excuses," her voice broke, but she went on, "hoping…praying that you weren't like all the other guys who had left me hanging."

"Annabeth-"

"But you ... .you have completely exhausted me," she finished, sinking down on the floor, back against the wall, a stray tear escaping down her cheek. She gulped, breathing in deeply through her nose, but the lump was still there, hurting her throat.

"Just give me a chance to explain," his voice came through the speaker, and Annabeth shut her eyes, willing the past few hours to just go away.

"Explain then. Right now. Explain to me why you've been lying to me for the past few months," she said into the phone, voice clogged with desperation.

"I…..I can't," his voice came through again, and Annabeth closed her eyes, finally letting her tears flow.

Percy went on. "Not right now. Just… just one day. Give me one day, and I'll tell you everything. Please."

The sun was setting as the last few rays came pouring into the room, lighting up a few select tiles on the floor. Annabeth stifled a cry, as she snapped back.

"Don't fucking call me again, Percy."

...

+1

...

I'll come. Jason will drop me.

Annabeth saw Piper's text, her fingers flying over the keypad.

Don't. I'm fine. I'll come over tomorrow.

Annabeth watched as the familiar three dots appeared on the screen, indicating she was typing again. Annabeth sighed, then typed back.

It's 3 am already. I just need some time alone.

The dots disappeared. Then a message popped up.

I'll be there first thing tomorrow.

Annabeth smiled sadly, then switched off the phone. Her phone screen flashed as the clock turned to three, and she sighed.

Outside, the night had taken on its darkest, the wind blowing against the window shutters, making the room inside deafening. The night felt like her, had become her, and Annabeth could barely do anything without being reminded of the hurt in her chest.

Try as she may, she couldn't shake it. Hadn't ever even met with this hurt before.

Annabeth had fucked up. After Luke, she had vowed to neve give her heart away to anybody ever again. But then Percy Jackson had appeared, and got under her skin. And try as she may, she hadn't been able to stop it.

Annabeth buried her head in her pillow, letting her tears soak into the linen.

Outside the storm raged on, unrelenting, unyielding.

How Dickensian indeed.

Then, the bell rang. Annabeth jerked up from the sofa, immediately reaching for her phone. Was it Piper? No, Piper had a key. She'd walk right in.

Annabeth crept closer to the door, her thumb just inches away from dialling 911. She'd seen reports of people being robbed at gunpoint by late night visitors. She'd even treated them in the ER.

The bell rang again, and Annabeth hyperventilated, furiously typing in the digits, hands trembling, when a voice came through.

"Annabeth, it's me!" the voice yelled through, and shestilled, her heart in her throat. "It's Percy, don't call the police!"

Annabeth frowned, phone away, as she slammed open the door, wincing at the onslaught of the wind against her face. She glared at Percy, who was heavily leaning on the wall beside her, hand on his side.

"What the hell are you doing here?" she demanded, eyes flashing, her back against the harsh drops of rain.

"Just hear me out, Annabeth, please," Percy begged, and for the first time in a few weeks, she looked into his eyes, really looked and saw, to her surprise the desperation in his face, an emotion that she had never before seen on him.

"Are you going to lie to me again?" she bit back, and Percy tilted his head, his eyes boring into hers.

"Just the truth," he replied. "Nothing else."

She glared at him, and then let the door open wide. Percy got up, shuffling forward, before his legs buckled. Annabeth rushed forward and caught him before his knees reached the ground.

"The fuck," she muttered. It was then, her eyes scanned over his body, noticing the gaping wound on his side. It was why he was leaning against her wall, and looking at it now, the blood had seeped into the wall as well. On top of that, he was soaking wet too.

"I'm fine," Percy muttered, looking at her expression, but Annabeth looped his hand around her neck, as she hauled him up. Percy grunted, but complied as they both shuffled into the house, Annabeth kicking the door shut in the process.

Once inside, she settled him on her sofa, before rushing into the kitchen, taking out the rubbing alcohol and the first aid kit. On second thought, she got up a few select pain meds as well, before sprinting back towards him.

"How the hell did this happen?" she demanded, as she cut open his shirt. Annabeth cursed internally, as she touched his cold skin, knowing it was because he had been in the rain for so long.

"I…" Percy hesitated.

Annabeth raised an eyebrow challengingly, as she examined the wound. In the light, she could see a few bruises forming on his face as well, and not for the first time, she wondered what he had been up to.

"Bullet graze," he muttered, and Annabeth smarted back.

"What?" she cried out. "What the fuck do you mean by a bullet graze?"

"I…"

"No, don't speak," she commanded. "Wait until I've patched you up."

Under the yellow light of her tungsten bulbs, Annabeth poured the rubbing alcohol on his wound, ignoring his wince, as she pulled out a cauterised needle and thread from the first aid box.

"I'm going to stitch you up, okay?" she said, gently swatching a generous amount of numbing cream on his wound.

Annabeth worked on the stitches, her fingers flying over the broken patch of skin in record-breaking speed, trained from years and years of practice and experience.

She noted briefly how he barely winced, and as she finished up, wrapping a roll of gauze around his abdomen, Annabeth noticed Percy's eyes on her, silent through the entire ordeal.

She handed him a towel instead and a pair of shorts that he had left in her house last time he had been there, which now that she thought about it, had been over six months ago.

The familiar burst of anger ignited in her veins again, as she turned away from him, giving him the space to change. She wrapped up the gauze and needle in a cellophane plastic, all the time being acutely aware of the deafening silence in the room. Annabeth disappeared into the kitchen, sucking in a few heaving breaths before going back into the room again.

Percy was now standing beside the sofa, waiting for her.

"Sit," she commanded, and Percy opened his mouth, as if to argue, but she wouldn't hear of it. "You'll rip the stitches."

He nodded, facing her as she leaned opposite to him, biding him to start.

"I lied." He said, hsi voice barely above a whisper, his voice hoarse as if he had been yelling for a long time.

Annabeth said nothing.

"I lied about my job. About what I do," he admitted. "I am not an international aid worker, or whatever the fuck I told you I was," he said, his eyes looking straight at hers.

"I work in the special forces," he ended, and Annabeth imperceptibly sucked in a breath. "I work for an organisation, named Olympus. They give me my missions, and I carry them out. They give me my orders, and I follow them."

Annabeth's eyes softened, and she dared to ask. "So, all the times you lied to me -"

"I was in Jakarta. Slovakia. Portugal. Venice," he finished. "While I'm working, I'm in multiple places at once. The only time I'm at one place is ... .is when I'm with you," Percy's voice broke, and he looked away.

Annabeth gulped, her mind running through all the scenarios where she'd sensed something wrong, where Percy had had to leave suddenly after some call in the middle of their date, the number of times he had not been able to meet her for something after being excited for the same for much longer than her. It was all falling in place for her.

"And," Annabeth paused. "And, what does this entail?"

Percy looked back at her. "I'm breaking enough protocols to tell you this anyway," he chuckled bitterly. "But, I….I have lied to you about everything I do. I have let you down, but," his voice broke, "I have never lied to you once about how I feel about you."

Annabeth felt a lump rising in her throat.

"When I met you," Percy said, his voice heavy, "you were this brilliant cardiothoracic surgeon I'd met in the ER, who'd looked at me once and deemed me too far gone for my own good. And I was. My life is full of people who I've killed in order to protect myself, who've died in my crossfire, and those who I've killed under orders."

Annabeth watched as a few tears streaked down his face, landing on his hands. She frowned, blinking back her own tears as they threatened to overcome her.

"I'm a murderer," he went on, and Annabeth winced. "I kill people for a living. But then you…you have shown me how different life could be from my own, and I've fallen in love with it. I've….I've fallen in love with you."

Percy looked up at her, and Annabeth gasped as their eyes met, both of them overcome with emotion. She had pushed this man to the edge, hoping he'd leave her, but he'd come back. He'd come back.

She stepped forward, hesitating, before Percy gently caught her hands, pulling her over his lap. Annabeth yelped, before rushing to get up. "Your wound -"

"I'll be fine," Percy interrupted, one hand slinging around her waist, holding her in place.

Annabeth let her hand rest on his cheek, wiping away the tear trails on his face, as she felt a light shudder pass through his body.

"I can't lose you," he whispered, letting a few of his tears escape again.

"You won't," Annabeth replied, letting her forehead rest on his. "I'm sorry I didn't give you a chance-"

"No," Percy shook his head. "You…you have done everything right. I…" he shut his eyes tightly., shaking his head again. "I quit."

"What?" Annabeth jerked back. "What do you mean?"

"I quit today after I got back from my mission. I've been wanting to for so many years now, and after last night, I….I just couldn't afford to lose you to do something that was about destroying everything around me and losing everything I'd ever loved. I can't. I can't keep doing this job, leading this life anymore."

"Percy," Annabeth whispered, her voice heavy with tears.

"Annabeth," he said back, cracking a smile.

"I love you," Annabeth settled on saying. She smiled, looking into the eyes of the man she loved. Yes, she could say that now. She loved him.

Percy's eyes shone with tears, as he raised his hand and cupped her cheek, raising himself just barely above the sofa to capture her lips in his. And unlike all the kisses they had shared before, this one was full of fervent passion, as the both of them clung to each other, sharing a mutual sense of need, brushing away tears and letting the midnight rain in.

"I love you," Percy whispered back.

Outside, the storm eased, as the rain found in itself the grace to die down into a drizzle. And as the soft pattering of the rain lulled into a wind that soothed away the lashes of the day. Annabeth drew back, eyes furrowed in question.

"So, your bullet graze is a -"

"Crossfire. Stray bullet," Percy accepted, wincing as he shuffled to get into a more comfortable position.

Annabeth nodded, before declaring. "I'm making an executive decision that you need to sleep."

Percy chuckled, complying as she helped him lie down on her sofa, getting up to go, before he pulled her back close to his chest, snuggling together, their warmth blending together to create one.

"I'm sorry I got blood on your coach," Percy muttered into Annabeth's hair, resting his head over hers.

"Make it up to me later," she smiled back.

"I'll do a lot more than that tomorrow," he replied, an evident smirk in his voice, and Annabeth laughed.

[dudewhy3]

4 and 27 for the writer's ask game 🤗

Hi Myrtle! Thank you for the ask! 💛

4. a story idea you haven't written yet

Oho, do i have plenty of those! One of them is an AruAni medical drama, sort of like Grey's Anatomy but with aot characters. The 104th are doing their internship at the same hospital. Annie's the daughter of the acclaimed doctor Leonhart, and she bonds with Eren over the 'perks' of having fathers with such powerful names in their domains. It's through him that she meets Armin who- lo and behold- is renting out his late grandfather's house. And since she desperately needs to get out of her father's house, it's the perfect opening. And it sort of develops from there-- they start falling for one another, they're a great team at work, they quarrel at home because they have different tabiets and so on and so forth.

Maybe Armin is like the O'Malley of his year- very awkward, underestimated, the butt of each joke... proves himself worthy by performing heart surgery in an elevator during a blackout. Levi could be their attending- who they mistake for a janitor at first because he was dusting a shelf when they first met. Erwin is the chief of surgery, also a general surgeon, and he keeps getting these crazy ideas for investments and possible procedures- which are, of course, encouraged by Hange the cardio surgeon and very much frowned upon by Levi. Hange takes a special interest in Annie because of her father's legacy. Levi hates all their guts. Eren tries to get to his good side by getting closer to his niece Mikasa, which proves to be futile. I just think it'd be hilarious to hear Bailey's speech out of Levi's mouth- "Don't bother sucking up to me, I already I already hate you." Hilarious!! Maybe at some point he'd take a week off and the group would get Shadis assigned as their resident- which doesn't end well; catching Sasha stuffing her face with chips during rounds is the last drop for him.

Maybe Annie told her father she's moving in with her boyfriend (ahem *Armin* ahem) to get him off her back and then they'd have to fake a relationship in front of the old man. Maybe they actually start acting like a couple all the time and don't even realize it until Hitch jokingly points out that they're like an old married couple.

The possibilities are endless!! Had I known more on the medical part of things, I'd probably actually write the thing lmao ;-;

27. your favorite part of the writing process

Outlining!! Now, before i outline i usually vomit all the ideas i have into a document, however they might come to me- chaotic, all over the place... The outlining part is when it all starts making sense. And i just love putting stuff in order and watching how my silly ideas start taking a shape, tying together to form a coherent thing that breathes on its own.

Thank you once again for asking! I had such a blast answering these haha, and i'm sorry it took so long for me to get around to it ;-;

ask game in question

[desdemonical]

So it looks like I'm gonna need to pay about a thousand dollars for dental work…I wasn't able to have dental insurance for the last few years and its biting me in the ass. I'm also in general trying to pay for doctor's appointments (I'm disabled) and trans surgery care as well as a wheelchair so anything people can send helps. https://ko-fi.com/desdemonical#shareGoalModal You can also send to my paypal or Venmo Venmo: @DV-Goldberg-4 Paypal:deseretgear@gmail.com Willing to take commissions but due to wrist issues they may take a while to be finished <3 I also have adopts and zines for sale in my zine store. Will be adding more later as I've gotten some new ones printed. You can get $40off the adopts in my store through this link (code is 40off) only for the next week! https://ko-fi.com/desdemonical/link/40OFF

[ltfad]

So this is pretty wild but next year will be 10 years since we started writing Live to Fight Another Day (May 20th 2014 was when Chapter 1 was first published on Ao3).

Yikes. I can hardly believe it!

If I'd been able to continue the same momentum as I had when we first started writing it, book 1 would be done and we'd be well on our way into book 2, but alas, life is never that straightforward.

For those interested, here are just some of the major life events that have happened since LtFAD began:

5 job changes for me (including one entire career change) I don't know how many jobs for Cal actually 2 college degrees started and completed (an AA for me and a Master's for Cal) 1 Master's Program started for me just this year 4 surgeries total between me and Cal at least 6 moves (2 or 3 for Cal and 4 for me) 2 weird not-great-for-mental-health relationships beginning and ending

This isn't counting things in our families of origin such as deaths, births, weddings etc though those have also happened, some of them much more significant to us personally than others. The difference between being 24 and being 34 feels huge in some ways and not very big at all in others.

But I am definitely in a much different headspace than I was when I first threw myself into writing this fic. It's not at all an exaggeration to say that this story saved my life in a time when I was very lonely and still grappling with a lot of questions about what my life should be and why I was even alive. There were days when I literally thought to myself, I need to stay alive, I need to make it through this, so I can finish writing LtFAD.

It means the world to me that even now that I'm doing much, much better most days, this story continues to give comfort and a feeling of connection to other people even though it's unfinished. That's the best legacy I can hope for, for this story: connection, comfort... a feeling of knowing others' hidden courage in the hard times and feeling known in turn. Yes, I do still want to finish it. Or at least continue it for as long as I can, whenever I can. It feels like a friend I've carried with me (and been carried by) for the last nine years. I can't promise any sure timeline for its completion, but I just wanted to write this to thank everyone again for loving LtFAD, from the most active commenters to the quietest lurkers whose usernames I've never seen. Thank you so much for existing and for connecting with something we made.

-Rae.

[castlebyersafterdark]

It’s been so quiet on here that no one has talked about Noah’s Letterboxd reviews post Saturday Night. Here they are (warning- some minor spoilers):

The Substance (5 Stars):

One of the best films I’ve seen in past months. Wow. The jaw-dropped look on my face when the credits hit tells you all you need to know. It was truly flawless from start to finish, with not a single dull moment in its 140-minute runtime. Demi Moore and Margaret Qualley deliver outstanding performances, fully embodying their characters. The story is a horrifying but important celebration of self-acceptance, reminding us that we are perfect just the way we are. This is the ultimate anti-Ozempic / plastic surgery film of the year.

It Follows (4 Stars):

So so goood…. And then they just don’t end it. What the heck?! It was so well shot and well acted and then they just didn’t bring it home. Unsatisfied.

We Live In Time (5 Stars): Beautiful tale about making the most of your days you have. I sobbed in the last scene. I loved how they didn’t show her dying but rather a soft transition into the aftermath. Felt like more of a gut punch.

Heathers (5 Stars)

“I love my dead gay son!!”

Anora (5 Stars):

WOWWWW man that was amazing. Everything about it. I loved how real it felt. The scenes were so much longer than normal and I loved that about it. You would sit with these characters in one moment for such a long time and it made it feel so authentic. Nothing felt produced or scripted. It was also SO FUNNY at parts. Mikey Madison was amazing.

I also really appreciated her dynamic with the bald guy. It was such a stark contrast to her relationship with the Russian boy, which was purely physical. With the security guard, it was about connection—they’d just talk or share silence, and it felt real. Their journey from enemies to lovers was so satisfying.

Mermaids (5 Stars):

Cher, Winona Ryder, and Christina ricci? Iconic. Love that Noni’s thing became ending movies with dancing scenes. She eats everytime

Cinderella (4 Stars):

“Be kind, have courage and always believe in a little magic.”

I love him, he's so cute!! Crossing my fingers for the dream scenario of the core 4 boys actors starting up a movie review podcast one day. Literally the biggest dream. Noah is so insightful and honest and I love that he's not afraid to show passion and sincere thoughts on films. I love Letterboxd for the tracking and lists aspect, but so many people on there use the review function just to be quippy and it's so NOAH to be sincere and show his love of exploring film. Even when he doesn't say much it's still pretty fun and honest.

Also him being Winona's number one fan is the sweetest thing 🥹❤️

[scotianostra]

Happy birthday actress Daniela Nardini born 26th April 1968 in Largs.

Nardini was educated at Largs Academy school, then trained as an actress at the Royal Scottish Academy of Music and Drama in Glasgow. Her parents owned Nardini’s, an ice cream parlour and restaurant in Largs. She was on the point of giving up acting and training to become a drama teacher when she was offered the part of Anna in This Life.

Other roles for Danniela have been in Taggart, of course, Big Women and Waterloo Road. as well as Bob Servant, we last saw he in Sunset Song with Peter Mullen. Nardini currently lives in Glasgow with her partner, Ivan Stein, a former civil servant-turned-chef, and their daughter. She had previously lived in Notting Hill in London, but moved back to Scotland after the birth of her daughter.

Daniela has been a bit quiet on the acting front, apart from a couple of shorts in the last couple of years, we have to look back to 2015 and Bob Servant for anything regular. I poked around further and found she is narrating Priest School, a documentary on BBC Scotland that follows a group of seminarians for a year as they train at the Scots College in Rome. It’s the first time the college – Scotland’s oldest overseas institution – has opened its doors to TV cameras. The best part of the filming however has been left out. The footage featured the Holy Father Pope Francis accepting a bottle of Oban malt from some students and proclaiming it “the real water of life”

Following a feud, the big Art Deco Nardini’s ice cream shop on the prom in Largs is no longer run by the family. It was founded by Pietro, her great-grandfather, who came to Scotland from Barga in Tuscany. He ended up in Paisley and then moved to Largs to open the shop that still bares the family name, I think anyone who has visited Largs will have visited it, at least just admire the shop itself.

Daniela had a health scare a couple of years ago when abnormalities showed up following a mammogram, she said in an interview in The Sunday Post;

“It was a huge shock to be told I had breast cancer, and it was another shock to learn I needed to have a mastectomy. All these decisions that have to be made come at you, like whether or not to have reconstruction at the same time as the surgery.

“I was in shock. After all of it is done, you can get over the physical side, but mentally, well, you are just a bit off. Now I look at it and think I was very lucky. After the treatment I’ve had nothing – no other symptoms – and I’m in the clear.”

She admits to seeking professional help after the death of her father, and her divorce, but has come out of it and is now embarking on her own journey into counselling. She says it’s always been something that interested her, so she completed an HNC during lockdown and is now studying for a diploma.

In 2022 Daniella teamed up with fellow Scot David Tennant to play Lady Macbeth, David playing the title role.for the play, which was aired on BBC Radio 4. That's about all I could find of her recent work online unfortunately, Nardini currently lives in Glasgow with her partner, Ivan Stein, a former civil servant-turned-chef, and their daughter

[mslanna]

Happy New Year or Something

Here I am, for now with what will have to pass for New Year's Resolutions.

1. Less AuDHD exhaustion

I will take a closer look at all the things I do and how much energy they take and make sure I don't overdo. That will suck because there is not much I can do to make work less exhausting. I had a great streak last summer where there was about nothing to do. Did wonders for my mental health. But I am already seeing the exhaustion creep in at the corners.

I will observe it (and me) and I will find a way to reduce it. Making my reduced hours official will be one step. Maybe I can get more than 2 hours per week less for the same pay. Here is hoping.

2. Less beating myself up

I'm still very good at it. Therapy helps me to do it less but I am Very Bad at finding out what the actual problem is and get hung up on symptoms. Being kind to myself is great (and helps a lot) but it won't work unless I understand where to be kind and to apply changes that help.

Like, telling myself it's fine is one thing. But telling myself where it comes from and why it happened and that it is fine because I am still learning myself and it will pass and next time I will do better because I now know – that is better help for me.

3. Therapy

I am not very good at therapy, but my therapist is so we are making progress. Small, erratic and unpredictable, but it is there. I note at the strangest times. I am happy about what we achieved already.

I will keep going. Whatever issues will pop up, I will tackle them best as I can and work on them as much as I can and it will be a little better afterwards.

4. Trans

It will take so fucking long but by the winds, I will get it done. A first appointment with an endocrinologist will be in August. My gynaecologist sees me in two weeks. I don't even know when to start scheduling consultations for the surgery in specialised hospitals.

This is dragging its feet and I hate it.

But at the end waits a body that matches my identity so I will plod on. At the moment, it is the issue that gives me the most breakdowns. I may or may have googled "boob guillotine". And it takes so much more effort to care for a body not yours. 😔

5. Writing

I shall finish the last BG3 fanfic. I fucking well will.

I will get the best and most out of my WriteHive mentorship.

If allowed with the above, I will self-pub my first novel. And novelette.

I will probably write another book. I tend to do that. I won't force it. Once the mentorship is over, I hope to et my hands on The Losing Game again. Need to dissect that bitch and put the pieces together correctly. Getting Shadows at Night or Sava II over the 1/3 and 2/3 marks would be good, too.

6. Gaming

I'll finish Veilguard and do some more romances. Lucanis is on the menu. As is Harding and maybe Emmrich. Taash keeps gutting me unexpectedly. I love that Qunari. Actually surprised I finally got a Qunari to romance I want to romance.

Get back to Baldur's Gate three and finish a Melta run with patch 7.

Melta runs in the other 3 Dragon age games. Finish the Melta run of Mass Effect.

7. Sewing

Sew some more trousers. And some more light summer trousers. The thin fabric wasn't made to last. 😔

Learn to let go. I have sewn many items I do not wear. I have to let them go somehow. (Not the shirts I just need – no boobs for. I will hang on to those until I have no boobs.)

Another cosplay. Maybe the paladin (oath of devotion) from Baldur's Gate pre patch 7. I can't believe they changed the colours: I do not like the new colours. Maybe the blue coat my Rook wears in Veilguard. Both would be very difficult. But I like a challenge in cosplay.

8. Joy

There are many good things coming for me. Holiday with my sister, meetings with friends, conventions. I will enjoy the fuck outta them. I will plan many more good things. This is my life and I will shape it into something I love doing. 😤

[wild-forest-bee]

I feel the need to make a vent post. idk if anyone will see it, but telling ppl in my life just feels like blaming them, so feel free to interact

I've been homeless for 4 years now. no problem there per se. but without the duties of school and work, im left to decide for myself. Im (thankfully) not american so working while being in school was not so common, but i never got a cent in allowance so it was worth it at first.

they say to properly heal from burnout you need way longer than what time you have. im still trying to stop faking it and start making it. being a 19yo burnout is all fine and edgy until youre 22 unemployed homeless and without any degree and you still feel like doing two (2) tasks a day is a lot. i feel like i got the perfect depression-adhd cocktail where if i dont do what i want all day every day i might start killing ppl, but if i do i might as well be a rotting log in the forest

i have the chance to get top surgery but i feel my depression making me fumble it. "who cares what you look like. without your tits youre just fat. no point in changing anything" I also know for a fact that it wont make me less depressed but it makes me anxious to think that, if i let it pass, ill have to jump through the hoops again to get where i am now.

im just in so much pain every day from walking, sometimes just sitting. when i lay down, its my shoulders. probably something to do with joints. i also got scabies from some irresponsible guests, so i havent touched skin in over a month now and i feel my grip on my feelings slipping. not being allowed to touch my partner is putting a strain in our relationship and general wellbeing. as a countermeasure, I also have to be very careful about textiles, wich sucks because most of my hobbies revolve around fabric.

i just feel like living death.

either no appetite or binge eating, either way tummy pain. cant deal with groups but feeling lonely. body feeling worse every day. everything around me seems to get more complicated every day. i always tried to seem open and welcoming but i feel forgotten

at least i quit smoking weed last winter. they say the best time to quit was 20 years ago and my asthma is probably happy abt it but... bye bye sleeping routine

even as i write this post i couldnt be sleeping because i have to hit the wall (/lit) every time i hear the rats biting at my caravan or else theyll get in and start eating my food and shitting on my pillow (yay skin care!!) who wants pets when you have [INTRUDER ALERT]

ill have to look at the hole in the morning, but working inside a metal box during the day in 35°+ weather is not appealing. also have to cut the bushes so i dont have to suffer a thousand nettle stings, also cook and eat something and maybe I'll have the energy to shower like i wanted to since last week

if you get down here and wonder if i have a gofundme or smth give it to a palestinian and talk with me instead

[angryschnauzer]

Update 3th April 2024

How are we into the 4th month of the year already? This year is slipping away so quickly. Anyway, my husband finished Radiotherapy mid Feb, had a few weeks off treatment, and is now on 6 cycles of strong chemotherapy. He has 5 days on tablet dose, then 23 days off, so its a 4 week cycle. We had an update meeting with his Neurologist. The tumour hasn't started to grow back, but we've got to add a 'yet' to that. The type of brain tumour (Glioblastoma) is an incredibly agressive form of brain cancer, spreading tendrils out into the crevices of the brain that there is never any way of scooping the whole thing out and getting every last bit with surgery. Thus the Radiotherapy and chemotherapy to try and blast - i cant think of a better word - as much remaining cancer as it can. He'll have regular MRI's to monitor any regrowth etc, and as he's mid 40's if he's strong enough he can have surgery again.

So now we're at the start of April and to be honest the last three months have been horrible. At the start of the year i caught a cough that developed into Bronchitis, and then by mid March i was so ill it was Pneumonia. When Hubby was on his 'rest' weeks post radiotherapy he was unable to rest as he had to help me care for our son. Sidenote; our Son's type 1 diabetes has been somewhat out of control during this time too. Two weeks ago i was admitted to the emergency dept at Hospital with chest pains. Hardly surprising with the amount of stress i'm under, but it turned out to be caused by bruising my internal chest muscles from coughing so much due to the pneumonia. Doctors told me i must rest. Well, the universe decided it didn't like that option and the day after Hubby went down with a cold/flu like virus, and because of his cancer treatment all but destroying his immune system, it's knocked him sideways. We're now 10 days later and its still in full force. I had to take him to the cancer hospital yesterday to have blood tests to ensure it hadn't turned bacterial (it hasn't) but we've been having awful nights sleep for the both of us which means neither of us are recovering at a rate we need.

So that's were we're at. Its just a massive cycle of illness followed by illness and it feels like we can't get out of it.

[semper-legens]

98. The Fiery Cross, by Diana Gabaldon

Owned?: No, library Page count: 1412 My summary: 1771, North Carolina. While revolution brews in the air, the inhabitants of Fraser's Ridge settle into their homes and lives. Forewarning of what's to come will prepare the Frasers and MacKenzies for the future, but they have other problems on the rise. Trouble is sparking in the colonies, and as the leader of his community, Jamie Fraser is called to lead his men into battle. Will their family ever find peace - or will war and strife and bitter conflict tear them apart once more? My rating: 4/5 My commentary:

Ah, Outlander. I blame this series for why I haven't read nearly as many books as I usually do this year - just look at that page count! The books are daunting in their size, and yet, here just past the halfway mark of the series, I think they're pretty well-paced. Don't get me wrong, there's a lot of lingering around gossiping with other women or doing the washing or setting up Claire's surgery, but I think the books do an excellent job both of showing the domestic lives of our characters, and of giving breaks in the action, establishing and renewing the status quo, and doing the vital character work needed for a series like this. Sure, the book was a long one, but I always felt the pull to come back and immerse myself in its world and in its story. And while, as in previous volumes of Outlander, I've had some issues with certain aspects of how Gabaldon represents the past, I'm still overall enjoying it and glad that I've stuck with it this long! I can't write about everything that happens in this book, obviously, but here's some of my broad talking points.

Claire and Jamie continue to be a really good team. They work together excellently within their roles as healer and leader respectively. We also have another stable, settled relationship in Brianna and Roger, who get married at the start of this book and raise their son to a toddler throughout the book. Although it's still unknown whether young Jemmy is biologically Roger's kid or the child of Stephen Bonnet, who raped Brianna in the last book, Roger doesn't take any of the opportunities offered to find out. (Claire can test Jemmy's blood to see what type it is, which wouldn't confirm if he was Roger's, but could definitely confirm if he was Bonnet's depending on what the result was.) It's some nice character work, it shows that Roger ultimately wants to raise this kid as his own regardless of the biology, and though he thinks about the idea of having a kid that's definitely biologically his, he respects Brianna's choice early in the book to not have any more children for now.

Speaking of which, Brianna and Claire have some frank discussions about preventing pregnancy in this kind of time period, which is interesting! Brianna is worried about giving birth again without proper hospital care, and Claire warns her that abstinence is the only true preventative - abortificents available in this time period could cause just as many issues as childbirth. It's a very frank and unjudgemental discussion, and refreshing to see! So, too, is Claire's going through menopause throughout the book. It's not something often spoken of in fiction like this, so kudos there! Overall, I really like that this time, we don't have any will-they-won't-they kind of romantic intrigue. It's a personal preference, but I much prefer the domesticity of Claire and Jamie and Brianna and Roger's relationships as depicted here to the passionate young lovers of earlier books. Still, I gotta once again give praise to how all of the characters are allowed to have sexualities and be sexual without narrative judgement.

Claire is an inventor of sorts in this one. She's manufacturing crude penicillin, and has created a microscope that allows her to identify it properly. It's not at the standard of modern penicillin, and she can't inject it, but it helps patients throughout her practice. Claire's doctor skills have been her main strength throughout the novels, and I really appreciate that she's allowed to innovate and invent like this. She's blending both the archetypes of male and female medical professionals - the caring role stereotypical to a female doctor, the innovation stereotypical to a male doctor. And there's a realism to the production of penicillin, too. One patient dies of a suspected allergy to penicillin, which Claire deeply regrets, and it's not a foolproof treatment. But she's doing her best to do well by her patients, and that has to be commended.

I do have some things to say about how these books treat gender, though. Jamie and Roger are consistently depicted as being big, brawny, buff men willing to do rugged outdoor work like hunting and trapping, while Brianna and Claire live in more of a domestic sphere. Jamie and Roger are physically hurt more than Claire and Brianna, with Jamie covered in scars and Roger going through injury after injury (he's almost hanged to death in this one!). I don't remember an instance where the women are physically harmed in the same way. However, I don't mean to imply that Claire and Brianna are weak characters, or that they're never allowed to do what might stereotypically be called 'men's work'. Brianna is a better hunter than Roger, for example, and Claire's work is very bloody, plus she ends up killing a buffalo. I suspect a hint of romanticism is taking place here (I've never been a straight woman, but shirtless scarred Scotsmen with rippling muscles sounds like the sort of thing Gabaldon might be into) and there's nothing inherently wrong with that, it's just that an element of the stereotypical starts creeping in here and there, and it's very noticable. And again, some of it is due to the setting and to the fact that, enlightened though they may be, most of the characters are from the 1770s or 1960s. It's just worth noting as something I've seen creeping in here and there; the men are Rugged, the women are Harried and Domestic.

And finally, some of my major continuing criticisms. Gabaldon keeps dropping the ball when it comes to race. It's notable that, with five books in the series so far, and three of them fully or partially set in the American colonies, there's very few main characters of colour. The best there are Jamie's aunt Jocasta's slaves, Ulysses and Phaedra, but they don't get a lot of focus beyond their role serving Jocasta. We've seen Native Americans, we've seen a man from China, we've seen enslaved and free black people, but we seen them mostly in passing - none of them join the main cast. I don't think this is a conscious bias on Gabaldon's part, but it could very well be an unconscious one. Claire's friendship with a Native medicine woman happened largely off-screen, so to speak, as did Jamie and Ian's hunting parties with Native people. Roger, in this one, is saved from the fire by a group of Maroons (escaped slaves), but they're portrayed as intimidating, and the only member of their group to speak or get focus is a white woman that Claire and Jamie previously met. Ian living with Native people is likewise portrayed as a sad thing (though mostly for Ian's separation to his family than anything else) and while Claire and Brianna refuse to be enslavers, they aren't really doing much for the enslaved people whose labour they utilise when visiting Jocasta. Claire does attempt to help Phaedra's mother Betty who takes ill, but it ends up smacking of white-saviourism more than anything.

Again, I don't think this is something Gabaldon is doing consciously - and in fairness, there's a lot of positives to how she portrays people of colour! Ulysses, Phaedra, and the Native people Claire and Jamie interact with are portrayed with as much humanity and character as the minor white characters, and while the white characters are often racist in their thoughts and beliefs, the Native communities that we see are shown to be villages and towns the same as the white towns. At one point a local Native community asks for Jamie's help hunting a bear, and they work together well. I just think that Gabaldon could have put a little more thought into how she was portraying the non-white characters. Narratively, it's fine if these white characters from the 1700s are somewhat racist. But when the narrative itself is upholding stereotypes of the intimidating and dangerous Maroons, the savage Native people, the docile enslaved people, that's when eyebrows need to be raised, and I don't think that Gabaldon did enough to subvert these stereotypes when they arose in her story. I think that these books could have benefited from more major black or Native characters, and perhaps some consultation from black or Native historians. It's close to being better, and that's the frustrating and disappointing part about it.

Next, a she-wolf of Pompeii walks the streets.

[vaulted-ceiling-painted-sky]

I'm making a major life change. I'm detransitioning (for medical reasons, so please don't cancel me).

I don't talk about this sort of thing much on my blog because I prefer to live a relatively private life separate from social media. However, I still wanted to disclose some things to my followers. I was on testosterone for over 5 years. I got the prescription after 8 months of counseling for gender dysphoria, followed by a consultation with a psychiatrist and an endocrinologist. This all started back in 2016 and I began taking T in 2017.

The symptoms that were considered part of my gender dysphoria diagnosis were mostly related to body dysmorphia. Since puberty, I felt like my body shape was completely wrong and that certain parts didn't belong to me (no real explanation, just physical discomfort). I had an eating disorder for many years that I never fully recovered from until the T improved my metabolism enough and I could start eating intuitively again. My other symptoms were... pretty much just being a weird girl and a social misfit. I had learned to mask it ok but social expectations just felt overwhelming and exhausting.

T was amazing for the first few years. My period stopped after a month, I lost fat and put on muscle, I could eat a full meal again, my body felt right in a way it never had before. I even got a new job where I felt like a fit in way better as a guy. I was extremely well informed on what changes to expect and when, and I was always careful with my health, getting regular blood tests and checking in with my doctors.

The side effects started to accumulate and worsen however. My body temperature ran high and I got overheated quite easily, which affected my sleep among other things. After about a year I started to get intense abdominal cramps with increasing frequency. Several years of this and I eventually had to get a hysterectomy (I kept my ovaries) and the cramping finally stopped. I had already had top surgery at this point. That was an entire ordeal on its own. I needed to have an emergency revision a week after the original surgery when I got a hematoma in the left side of my chest. I had to drive myself to the emergency room (my boyfriend was at work) where they opened the stitches and tried to manually drain it. Blood was gushing out of my side. I had to be rushed into the OR to have it fixed. After about 4 years on T, I began to have constant pain in certain organs due to atrophy. Medication only stopped it from getting worse, but the pain was still there and sex was out of the question. This can take a toll on one's mental health and relationship. The side effect that really scared me though was the heart problems. After nearly 5 years on T, I started having episodes of fast, pounding, irregular heartbeats. They were uncorrelated with anxiety, and heartburn medication did nothing. I stopped T for a few weeks and the episodes decreased. I started T again and had the worst one yet, where I was actually afraid for my life. I stopped again and my heart issues resolved in a month or two. My last dose was in October 2022.

Since then my body has been reverting to its natural appearance. I just look more feminine and read as female in spite of a flat chest and deep voice. It happened quickly for me. I decided to file paperwork for a court order name and gender change last week. I think I'll be back to publicly presenting as a woman in a few months. This has been a lot for me to process but I'm cautiously optimistic. And I'm so, so grateful that I have a loving, open-minded boyfriend and a supportive family. I don't know what I would do without them.

Why did I post this? Well, I thought sharing my experience might be useful for some of you. If you're on T or getting gender-related surgeries, or if someone you care about is, it's helpful to know about some of the things that can happen. My experiences differed significantly in some ways from the standard information you get on this stuff. Side effects can be quite manageable for some people, but very serious for others. I thought I was at very low risk of anything bad happening yet treatment still proved unsustainable for me. It can be difficult to find accurate information in a medical field that's been unfairly politicized. I just want what's best for everyone though.

[watmalik]

Oversharing on the internet

Thank you @ambiguouspenny​ for the tag!! <3

1. Are you named after anyone?

Ohhh yes. My first name is literally the female version of my dad and brother’s name… Patricio/Patrick. My middle name is after my Abuela (dad’s side) bc she died a couple of months before I was born.

2. When was the last time you cried?

HA! I’m actually proud of this one *clears throat* ever since the 911 Lone Star finale...for now.

3. Do you have kids?

I’m 22 almost 23, so my only child has four legs and lives in my apt rent free. I’m also undecided about having them in general (bio or adopted)? I have a autoimmune disease that makes it harder for me to have them and I also had surgery when I was 14… lets say I have 1/3 of my left ovary chopped off bc of a random health issue I had as a kid and now I have a faint smiley face on my bikini line :) talk about oversharing.

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

*Takes sunglasses off* Babes, I invented sarcasm. It’s the fourth language I’m fluent in… its a culture thing.

5. What sports have you played/do you play?

Fútbol and futsal. Loved them. Stopped when I got into college but I still participated in intramural games in my sorority/club. I also played basketball in middle school for a bit, but ultimately gave it up bc there wasn't really a girl’s team in my school.

6. What's the first thing you notice about people?

Their personality so I don't make them angry on purpose. I’m a notorious people pleaser, and I hate confrontation when it comes to myself, so I need you to like me…. LIKE ME 

7. What's your eye colour?

I have dark, brown cow eyes

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

Scary movies bc I cry when movies have happy endings and I don't like tearing up at the movies. Emotions? me? pfttt

9. Any special talents?

I can meow like an actual cat, and put my feet at the back of my head, you know the usual.

10. Where were you born?

El Caribe 😎

11. What are your hobbies?

Singing, drawing, playing the ukulele

12: Do you have any pets?

My 3 year old cat, harry :)

13. How tall are you?

I’m Jennifer Love Hewitt, inches tall.

14. Favourite subject in school?

P.E and Maths. Mind you, I hate Maths with a great passion, but I was in group B (When you reached the 6th grade, they will separate the two form groups of your year group, in my school there was two class groups per year, and they will separate students in A and B group depending on how well you were doing in that specific subject). B group was always the funniest class to be in. I was usually an A group type of student but I always made sure I was in B group for at least a few of my classes and in Maths? It was inevitable. 

Anyways, I sat in the middle of the most chaotic pair of people, this dude (a twin) who had a crush on me at the time and this volleyball player who I once had a fall out with. For context, back home I went to a small British school, pre-k––12th grade, and from the 6th grade until I left on 10th grade, I always sat with them bc I will always LAUGH MY ASS OFF every damn class period. Our teacher was this 24 year old guy from Scotland and he was fine with us being together because we got good grades and did the work. I like looking back at this because, we weren't friends, we didn't hang out or talked after class much, but we always sat together because it brought us joy. 

Oddly enough I will always miss the poorly drawn dicks at the last page of my maths notebook, the stupid jokes, and the dumb noises they will make on purpose 😂

15. Dream job

 To be an immigration lawyer and help other minorities. I just graduated from college, so I’m taking a much needed year off and then law school here I come!

And my “You probs already did this, and def don't do it again if you have, but I’m still tagging you because its 2am” tag goes to: @noxsoulmate​ @itsneonbright​ @tailoredshirt​ @anchor-bird-94​ @taralaurel​ @tylerkennedys​ @catanisspicy​ and anyone else who wants to do this :)

[gynandromorph]

Stop reading here if pet suffering distresses you a lot. Mawkish has been continuing to have seizures every 2-3 days. Last one was about a minute long. She screams like she's in pain during them, often croaking or gurgling at the same time. But I don't know if she's in pain for real. She's usually unresponsive during them, sometimes for like 10-20 seconds after she stops spasming as well. It's disturbing to watch. Her dose is higher now, but the med schedule is rigid and one many people can't tolerate — 3 times a day, every 8 hours. Not giving it at the same time every day can lead to breakthrough seizures. She can't switch to phenobarbital because of its adverse effects on the liver. I'm awake right now because one of those doses is at 4 am. I've been in so much physical pain myself with no fast solution and I've been failing her in a lot of ways. This is going to Fuck my sleep schedule. Making sure there's at least 1 person home to supervise her because of the seizure risk is a nightmare. My mom has been diagnosed with carpal tunnel in both arms and needs surgery so I'll be expected to help with that too instead of being able to ask for help. My sister's dog has more tumors and isn't eating. If 3 of our 4 dogs all died this year I wouldn't be surprised. Idletry is a welcome relief from the shit that's happening, but the mental whiplash going between a project I really want to focus on and pressing constant real life stress demanding my attention is not easy to tolerate gracefully