#and its funny because i realized the parallels when I was trying to look up musical compositions of ever after

[piratecaptainscaptainpirates]

Okay, so, there's one thing that I'm kind of tired of beating around the bush with white fans about, and it's this: if you pretend to "ignore" race in OFMD, you will miss a lot of what the story is trying to tell you.

Now, I do not truly believe that race is something you can ignore in a story. I just don't think it's possible, and when you try, what you wind up with is something like the conservative worldview of "not seeing color." Trying to ignore race will make you sound racist and ignore important racialized themes.

You can't understand Stede's need for character growth at the beginning of the show if you just focus on how he's "cringe" instead. When Stede makes his crew members of color serve them at dinner when the English board, this is gross, and their faces tell us exactly how they feel about it. Stede unlearning his biases here isn't subtle (guy who called him and Pete "fucking racists" I love you forever), and learning to take all of his crew members seriously as fully actualized people, moving away from the sort of Kindergarten-teacher behavior at the start to truly valuing them as people and taking their input and suggestions, it's an important aspect. Stede asking Abshir for intel at the party isn't just funny, it's also proof he's learned to see value in people in positions like Abshir's.

You can't understand the motivations behind Ed's actions, especially the violent ones, if you ignore the racist overtones. Ed is not a randomly violent person - he gets angry at a captain for calling him a "rich donkey," and if you think it's unreasonable for a brown man to want to get revenge on a white man for calling him that? Then fuck I'm glad you can't see the conversations I have with my other black friends, man. Ed's anger and frustration at the party aren't just because he fucked up with some spoons, lol, you can't get it unless you realize he's the only brown guest in that room. Yeah, he's ignoring Stede's advice, but he's immediately under a pressure Stede never has been. Ed's wanted posters in s2, too, rely on heavily caricaturizing Jewish features to make him look grotesque and monstruous. We're supposed to be horrified by that aspect.

And, yeah, when we ignore the racist tones to Izzy's behavior, I think that's undermining an important aspect of who he is as an antagonistic character. Him buying Ed from the English should feel like a gross violation, because it is. When he sits in front of the crew eating and making Fang and Ivan serve him, I think it's a pretty obvious parallel to how the crew members of color were similarly insulted in the pilot. It's impossible to ignore race in the way he dehumanizes Ed and tries to force him back into a caricature of behavior he hates and is horrified by - when he calls Ed a "wild dog" in s2, if that doesn't cause a visceral reaction of disgust in you, I dunno what to tell you. This doesn't mean that Izzy is irredeemable - just as Stede wasn't - but it does mean that racist biases are things Izzy had to unlearn.

OFMD so often takes so much care with how its characters of color are depicted. We get thoughtful, relatable moments (those French boat people getting humiliated and setting their boat on fire after they'd tried to touch Ed's beard is so satisfying, guys) and excellent, supportive friendships between men of color. The characters of color on OFMD are clean, smart, respected, and it's wonderful. And just because these things aren't always relatable to you specifically doesn't mean they're not important parts of the story.

[sparrow-ceiling]

LUCIFER IN EPISODE 8 POST

because i want to squeeze him like a rubber duck (I WROTE DICK HELP)

OK FIRST CAN WE TALK ABOUT THE PARALLEL TO THE TRUST FALLS WHEN HE CATCHES CHARLIE (TWICE)!!??? Like she trusts him. They love each other. They're gonna be ok. Charlie never set out to do this but in saving all those other people she also saved herself and her dad and i love her for that. Also I just realized they have the same little cheek circles its so cute <3

(help why does Charlie look like Candace Flynn In the first pic-) LOOK at him hes such a short king. He's trying to hide it with that silly little hate but he's fooling exactly nobody.

"I'm going to FUCK you." HES SUCH A DAD LMAO he really thought he ate that one. Also its so silly how his hair part switches sides all the time I love him for that. ((Also did anybody else notice that when Charlie pops in she has her hair tied up and stuff but before and after she's like. disheveled/bloody etc. Probably just a mistake but still interesting.))

ALSO HIS WHOLE FIGHT WITH ADAM IS SO FUNNY why is he so unserious about everything LMAOO. Also bonus look at his slutty little eyeshadow in the first pic (also most of these pictures but its so silly I love it. Also probably necessary to keep the design from being monochromatic) He really gives so few shits about Adam and just beats the hell out of him it's hilarious (honestly giving Alastor-Vox dynamic a little bit but I may be reading into things too much)

ALSO THE DYNAMIC DUO!! They really destroyed that fucker so hard together. PLUS get you a dad that looks at you the way Lucifer looks at Charlie.

ALSO HES SO FUNNY HERE. Hes so fucking confused. And concerned hes just like uhhhh. Awkward wet cat of a man!!!

ALSO THIS IS SO FUNNY LIKE READ THE ROOM MAN. Your daughter and her friends are soaked in blood and you're out here asking who wants to have pancakes (I mean fair enough though. I could use a good pancake after slaughtering angels honestly). But the contrast between them is so funny.

AND LOOK AT HIM HES SO SWEET TRYING TO CHEER UP HIS DAUGHTER. WE LOVE A KIND MAN!!! (Also i just realized he only has four fingers)

Also girl what are these fruity ass stances chill out bro

AND HE TAKES HIS HAT OFF TO SALUTE SIR PENTIOUS AWWW. Hes so genuine about it too <33333

ALSO HIS REACTION WHEN ALASTOR SHOWS UP LMAO. The SASS, he hates that guy so much kdhsjksf

Anyway that concludes my rant about lucifer i love him so fucking much!!

[transmascutena]

the scenes where characters go to the dueling arena without an actual duel are so interesting with the context of it actually being the planetarium in akio's tower.

in episode 9 there's the illusion of the castle falling down and anthy in the coffin when saionji tries to bring her to the arena. so many questions of who did that and why. definitely to mess with saionji in some way obviously, anthy's coffin is the same that he and touga found utena in, and he's been thinking about that moment throughout the episode. touga is the one who wrote him the fake letter from end of the world, but he couldn't have known all that would happen (he certainly couldn't have caused it to) unless he was working with akio. but when he calls him at the end of the episode, it's definitely implied that he didn't. so i think it's more likely that its was anthy who did it, to keep pushing things along. she and touga do kind of work together a lot in this arc to manipulate people (usually nanami, though that isn't really relevant here). touga needed to set up his fake rescue of utena and it makes sense that anthy would help him out by messing with the projector (the fact that utena gets another moment to feel like a hero is a bonus too). which means akio probably did also know, and just pretended he didn't in the phone call with touga later. i also don't think touga knows about the projector or the illusions, i think he just assumed anthy would. idk, pretend to lie helpless on the ground, not all the elaborate bullshit she pulled instead. he does only come up there after the illusion is gone, after all.

the scene in episode 36 is cool because it takes a moment for the floating castle to actually appear, which implies that utena and touga's trip up there was unexpected somehow? the projection isn't on. or not fully on at least, since it still is projecting the arena itself. i wonder what it means (i have thoughts but nothing coherent). it's also kind of funny that touga comes to get utena in the tower and then they walk all the way to the arena which is. also the tower. and they go up there to stargaze! which is ironic. and symbolic. they think they're looking at real stars, but it's still the projected ones. it shows how much touga has bought into akio's worldview, even if he is trying to do what he thinks is right here. and honestly, it is kind of a sweet moment, just not for the reasons he thinks. they're two lonely kids who have been (and are being) hurt by the same man in a very similar way, even if neither of them realize how true that really is. touga is framing his request for them to sit together in a very romantic way, which it obviously isn't, but maybe they can still offer each other some comfort. who knows. it's kind of tragic that it's all happening in akio's tower though. they are not free. not even slightly.

i think the parallel of both of these moments being touga using the arena to stage his "rescueing" of utena, the first one being entirely manipulative, and the second being something of a genuine (if completely misguided) attempt, is very cool.

[azsazz]

Cupid’s Chokehold (Part 7)

Azriel x Reader

Summary: You are a Cupid, a nearly extinct creature of Prythian. When you get caught trying to shoot Elain with your arrow, well, it’s a little hard to explain what you’re trying to do.

Warnings: N/A

Word Count: 2,811

[Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3] [Part 4] [Part 5] [Part 6]

Notes: The finale 😭 Please enjoy 💙

_________________________________________

It’s that revelation that makes him rethink everything.

Had he really been do dumb as to not notice what was happening between the two of you? The cheeky banter between the two of you, you getting on his nerves and him getting on yours. The almost kiss you’d shared when he had been cleaning your wound. The wound he had a hand in giving you. The heightened emotions he felt when it had anything to do with you, Eris’ threats or Rhys’ scolding, he didn’t care about any of that as long as you were okay.

Or had you just made another general assumption about love?

Azriel could admit that your words were convincing, even if he didn’t fully believe in the entirety of what your species was doing. And seeing Eris agree, having a sour experience with your kind, had made the shadowsinger rethink everything you had said, for he would never admit that the Autumn Lordling was right in any way, shape, or form.

“Our arrows are conduits of attraction and affection. They form this sort of bond, once the two parties are struck. You call it a mate, I believe.”

“Fate has a funny way of working, shadowsinger, don’t you worry.”

“It symbolizes the parallels between warfare and romance. How love can be invincible.”

“Everything happens for a reason. If a couple aren’t meant to be but still share a bond, that is fate. If they are madly in love and something dares happen to one of them, that is fate. If they live happily ever after as mates, that is fate.”

And all this talk about fate…he couldn’t help but wonder if there was someone out there for him, made to be his opposite and equal in every way. Maybe he could ask you–

No. It doesn’t even matter anymore if there is someone out there for him because there’s you…

It’s you.

It’s always been you.

Right?

“It is she who lights the flame of love in the hearts of Gods and men,” Eris’ words ring in his head, “I’d watch out if I were you, shadowsinger.”

He’s gotten nowhere by the time he makes his way up to the training ring, an incessant buzzing beneath his skin as his mind whirled. His shoulders have been tense since he rose from his bed, and he stretches to try and ease some of the tension while he waits for you to arrive. His shadows swirl around him in a restless manner, much like his mind and stomach.

It was always like this when it has something to do with you.

Azriel filters it down to the fact that you’d be arriving any moment, the female he’d been trying to force out of his head all night, unable to sleep because he kept thinking of the exact color of your wings, how soft they’d felt when they’d brushed up against him in the Autumn Court, the color of your wide eyes and look of utter shock on your face when Eris had held a knife to your throat. 

He’d thought of your eagerness to learn how to wield weapons other than a bow, one that he was still yet to see in action. Azriel’s cock had hardened almost to the point of pain when he’d imagined you standing tall with an arrow knocked, the bow arching perfectly like the curves of your body, the utter determination he’d see and that sparkle in your eye.

Love, he realizes.

You loved love.

And maybe it was just because you were born from it, a conduit in its rawest form. He’d wondered if you’d ever been in love before or had shared the act of it with anyone, and then his emotions spun from lust into wild jealousy, and he’d stayed that way, brewing until the first rays of light peeked through his windows.

His shadows alert him of your footsteps on the stairs and the tension melts slightly as he looks over. His heart picks up speed in his chest because he’s just waiting to see you, to see what style your hair is in or what clothes you don. Sometimes it was your armor or the clothes you’d come in, sometimes it was something more comfortable, and once it was in a pair of Nesta’s Illyrian leathers. 

That had been his favorite.

But his shadows had failed to mention that you were with Cassian, and that’s whose head pops up over the railing first, and then you, trailing next to him and laughing your perfect laugh as his brother grins down at you.

He’d never been able to make that sound come out of you.

The tension returns to his shoulders and Azriel turns quickly, headed straight for the swords.

“Hey Az,” Cassian greets from across the ring.

Azriel ignores him and the warlord stops in his tracks. It takes you a few steps to notice that he’s no longer beside you. Casting a look over your shoulder, brows pulled together in confusion, you see Cassian staring at the shadowsinger who hadn’t yet turned to greet the both of you.

Even from yards away Cassian can tell that something is wrong. He takes note of the way Azriel’s shadows shroud his taught shoulders, wings pinched high and tight behind his back, how he twists the practice sword around in his grip like he’s in the need to expel some energy.

The warlord was almost always ready for a lengthy spar, but he’d promised Nesta he’d go to her favorite bookstore with her today, and he was not to get all sweaty and bloodied up before he had to go.

Azriel hears his brother murmuring to you but he doesn’t make it out with how loud his blood is roaring in his ears. He keeps his shadows tucked tightly to his person, doesn’t even want to know what the two of you would have to talk about.

He feels like he could splinter the wooden sword into shards.

Cassian retreats back into the house and you approach Azriel, careful not to get too close. “Shadowsinger?”

He casts a sharp look over his shoulder and it makes you suck in a soft breath but he’s heard it. You watch curiously as his hazel eyes scour the training ring, noting the spot beside you is now empty.

Cassian is nowhere in sight.

“Are you okay?” you try again, having the courage to take a single step closer, even though he looks like he could snap at any second.

“I’m fine,” his response is like ice, sending shivers down your spine.

You set your jaw, giving a single nod as you head towards the weapons rack for your own training weapon.

The weight of the wooden sword is a familiar feeling now, and you’ve added the weapon to your warm up stretches, holding the weapon above your head as you reach to the sky to stretch your back, just as you’d seen Azriel do multiple times.

The air in the training ring is tense. You don’t know what to say to Azriel, who is clearly in a sour mood. You bend over, touching the practice blade to your toes as you chew on your lip, racking your brain for what to do, try and talk to him or let your weapons have the conversation.

“Are you and Cassian fighting?” you ask once he’s facing you, his own weapon raised for the spar to begin.

“Something like that,” he grits, making the first move. He swings his sword down in a maneuver you easily parry.

Azriel usually always starts your spars with a move you can quickly defend, wanting you to feel comfortable and get into the groove of the training. You know that it won’t quite be like that should you ever encounter a real battle, but the thought of it is nice.

“Why?” you reply, crouching low as he swings above your head. You drive up from the ground but he’s expected it and has moved out of your reach.

Azriel twists the sword in his hand and you're momentarily stunned by his grace as he handles the weapon with ease. “Why are you so nosy?”

You shrug, and he thinks that you’re going to pause mid-spar to talk about this, so he doesn’t anticipate your next strike coming. It jabs him clean in the stomach and if it weren’t wood he’d be a little more worried, but he hisses and bares his teeth as he slides back nonetheless.

Clever girl.

“I just don’t think you should be fighting with Cassian,” you say, watching him closely, trying to gauge his next move, “You love your brother, no?”

He’s pissed. “Must you always talk about love?” He asks, and the way he utters the word, like it’s some sort of venom has you swinging back that much harder. Your sword bounces off of his with a loud crack, the force of it reverberating in your bones.

“You are so passionate about hating love,” you remark, eyeing him as the two of you circle each other slowly. You catch his shadows burrowing into the deep red sand from the corner of your eyes and you stall for a second, wondering what he’s going to command them to do. Kick your feet out from under you? “Must you feel so hurt?”

Azriel runs his fingers through his damp hair, frustratedly, twisting the training sword around in his hands, letting the heaviness of the hilt ease him as his mind slips. 

It’s not that he hates love, it’s that he’s yearned for it for so long and he hasn’t even experienced something even remotely close. Sure he has his friends and his mother, but love like that isn’t the love he’s been searching 500 years for.

He wants what Rhys and Feyre have, Cassian and Nesta. Fuck, he’d even take what Elain and Lucien have if only for the fact that he was destined to be bound to someone. He didn’t ever think that such a thing was fated for him.

Until he met you.

He doesn’t even know where to start, how to differentiate the thin line between the lust and love he feels when you’re near. The rippling urge to protect you around threats that aren’t even treats. A strong word from Rhys or a suggestive joke from Cassian. It’s not his place to do so. 

But here you stand before him, a beautiful creature that he can’t have, which makes him want you so much more. 

And you…you probably couldn’t love him. Not for the marred flash of his skin, the multitude of scars and bruises he carries. You with your perfectly flawless skin, glimmering in the sunshine, you are ethereal in more ways than one, and how would he look with something so flawless next to him?

Surely he’d ruin you. 

“Why must you be so stubborn?”

You scoff, crossing your arms across your chest for a moment before you realize you’re still standing in the ring where he can surprise you with a strike back at any moment. “Like you’re not?”

“I’m a realist.”

“So am I.”

“Not when you believe in your little folklore love you’re not.”

He stills at the malicious words he’s let spill from his mouth. He didn’t mean them in the slightest and his throat tightens as he watches your brows curl and your eyes narrow.

You’re back at square one again.

“I believe in a nature I know is true. You are surrounded by love yet you cannot accept that it is real, Azriel. Is it because you do not have any?”

“I don’t–” he cuts himself off, brain short-circuiting at your words. Azriel. You’d called him by his name for the first time. His heart thumps loudly in his chest as he stares back at you, taking a shaky breath…panting, chest heaving. He has to turn away, your words striking hot through his core like you’d sliced into him with your blade. “I don’t believe in love because I’ve seen it hurt, even kill, and I won’t let that happen to myself.”

“It’s not your choice to make.”

The words ring in his head. The exact phrase he’d used in Rhysand’s office when he was reprimanding you about your powers the first time you’d met.

“I am not a good person,” his voice is a tremor that you hardly hear. His hands are shaking and his head dips low, wings shuddering behind him. His shadows are agitated, even you can see that from their erratic movements, not silky and fluid like you knew them to be. It takes all of his strength to even his breath and keep his voice steady. 

“I don’t feel…I’m hopelessly flawed.”

Your breath catches in your own throat now and your heart stutters, aching, reaching out for Azriel as his knees give out, head hanging low between his muscular shoulders, wings drooping into the red sand of the fighting ring.

You circle him slowly, letting his shadows carry whispers of where you are, moving around to his side to crouch in front of him, knee to knee.

“You’re not.” Your voice is thick with emotion from what this beautiful male before you thinks of himself. “You deserve love, Azriel. You just have to accept it.” 

Tentatively, you place a gentle hand on his cheek, nervous that he might pull away. Your cool fingers make him flinch but he’s startled by the action, quickly leaning into your palm as you begin to move your hand away. 

He wants you there.

You thumb the droplet on his cheek away, admiring the male up close. If you ask him later he will say it’s just sweat, and the corner of your mouth lifts at the thought.

His deep hazel eyes stare intently into yours, looking for any sign of untruth. He’ll find none, no matter what shadowsinger tricks he uses, because what you feel for him is real. He clutches onto your other hand tightly, nodding softly.

“I want it,” he breathes, a whisper so soft it’s picked up by the wind before you can even hear it. But you’ve read it on his lips, can see it in his eyes, the hunger for the bond he’s been burying inside of him all along.

“Az,” you say quietly, brushing his sweaty hair from his eyes, “Take a look over there for me.” You nod your head and he focuses on something just above your shoulder. His grip tightens on yours when he catches sight of the figure perched on the stone railing of the training ring. You shush him softly, rubbing over the scarred skin of his hands with your thumb. “It’s alright, she’s a friend of mine.”

Another Cupid, he notices once he sees those pure white wings, almost an exact match of yours. His shoulders slacken with relief, and his hazel eyes light with a mix of realization, weariness, and excitement as he turns back to you.

His heart pounds in his chest as you stare at him, eyes wide in question.

“Ready?”

He nods once, squeezing your hand before pulling you flush against his chest, his lips finding yours like he’s done it a thousand times. His hands wrap around your waist tightly and yours find their way around his neck, snaking into his inky black hair, holding him that much closer.

It’s heaven, his lips. Like everything you’ve ever wanted, needed, right here in this male before you. You gasp as you feel the sharp tip of the arrow pierce through your back and into your chest. It tears through the muscle and leaves through your front, embedding deep into Azriels stomach, locking the two of you together.

The second of startling pain melts in an instant, becoming hot and heavy and pure ecstasy. You can feel him inside of you, his soul intertwining with your own, lifetimes of memories dissolving into one another as you become him and he becomes you. Every heart string twists and knots with his and you feel like you’re on top of the world, sharing this with him. He belongs to you as you belong to him, fated together by the Mother.

Azriel’s grinning when you pull away and you lose your breath all over again, you’ve never seen a sight so beautiful.

“(Y/N), I’ve wanted you even without this tying us together,” he admits, brushing the hair from your face, tucking it behind your ear.

You smile at your mate warmly, giving the bond a teasing tug, “But isn’t it so much better knowing that we’re meant to be?”

“Yeah,” he breathes, honeyed eyes sparkling with emotion, “I suppose it is.” He captures your lips with his, letting your scent, your taste intoxicate him, fill every part of his body with you.

The lover and the fighter, together at last.

[heypax]

my n2n rambles after seeing the show and being blown away:

- THE CHEST REACH!! in i am the one dan reaches for diana. but because gabe is between them its like he reaches for gabes chest, gabe moves away in the last second. in im alive gabe mirrors this move and reaches for dans chest, and in i am the one (reprise) after the gabe moment dan reaches for gabes chest, stopping right before when natalie comes in

- jacks wolfes expressions constantly. 10/10

- eleanor was SO FUNNY during my favorite pills

- gabe on stage during the hypnosis was SOOOOO GOOD like him at first being amused by the idea then slowly getting scared when he realizes its working. and at the end he is placed right behind doctor madden, like he is blocking gabe from diana

- at some point (during catch me im falling i believe) jack raises and looks at his hand just like in im alive when he goes “if im a simple spirit or flesh and blood” and it was so good cause it felt like he was like doubting what he had said and checking if he was still flesh and blood

- lots of good parts where it felt like gabe was losing “power” it was so ARGHH

- the natalie&diana parallels were STRONGG especially with the changed staging of i miss the mountains

- eleanor was so cute after the first kiss with henry right before i miss the mountains she was jumping and squealing like after a first kiss it was so 🥺

- also when gabe comes in when dan is cleaning the blood… God. jack plays gabe so much like he really really wants to help diana and him sitting down and seeing the blood was so. heartbreaking

- diana holding on to gabe who’s trying to leave at the end of it dreamed a dance… WHEW

- theres a world was done so sweetly which really made the contrast to what happened so stark for me

- no “extra” nurses in wish i was here, jack and jamie took that which i loved

- the balloons for the ball was such a lovely touch

- so happy they moved some of the staging (like natalie taking the pills for the first time) down on the stage instead of up by the band was very good i felt like some of the staging up there was a bit crowded but this was sooo good

- gabe looking up during the “seventeen years ago your brother died” bit. ouch

- ALSO gabe kissed dianas head a lot and it was so sweet and then seeing diana kiss natalies head and natalie kiss dans head towards the end.. OOF

- ALSO in better than before dan puts his arms around natalie and she slowly eased into a hug but he lets go to talk to diana and she looked so heartbroken

- everyone was so talented i cried i laughed i loved it so bad

[faithrainee]

It hurts me so bad to think about Peter B Parker's story. This man lost his parents either at a young age or at an age he could somewhat remember them. Which in itself is traumatic, and painful, and changes a person for the rest of their life. How many birthdays did he go without having his parents with him? How many school events did he have no parent to take with him? "Take your dad to school day" isn't the same when your uncle, who you do love dearly, is the only masculine figure you can take to school. I can't imagine the looks, the conversations with teachers, the, "Is that your grandpa, bud?" questions that he probably was asked for years.

Then he loses his uncle. In ATSV we see its probably a sudden thing. Probably an accident or a crime being committed against him. Something along those lines. No one deserves that. How painful must it be to say you're the man of the house, the only man in the house, at 14, 15, 16+ years of age?

He becomes Spiderman. Its probably amazing, probably freeing and thrilling and- it's probably traumatic, let's be honest here. This is New York, I can only imagine the crimes he witnesses very young, if he got bit young like Miles. But even if he got bit as an older teen like some of the other spidermen, its still trauma. Getting hurt, seeing people die, being practically in charge of saving people. It takes a toll on you.

And then his aunt dies. And in ITSV his reaction to Aunt May's house hurts. He didn't want to even ring the doorbell. Why would he? She's gone. He doesn't want to see his dead aunt now alive, its not even his aunt. It's an interesting parallel to Miles seeing living Uncle Aaron. Miles hugs him and is shocked, rightfully so, but Peter doesn't react that way and its interesting to me.

And Peter has no one. He's actually alone. Besides MJ, and for a while I'm sure its okay. Until they divorce. He seems terrified of settling down, of having kids, of having people to take care of. Because realize, he had so many people that he likely feels he failed. They're gone because he couldn't save them. Why would he want kids? Why would he want to risk losing them? I saw someone post about how in ATSV Peter keeps Mayday close to him even in fights because he doesn't want to lose her. And I agree.

Peter is a clingy person, we see it with Miles. At the beginning of ITSV, Peter wants nothing to do with Miles, he wants to get back home and sulk and cry and be comfortable in his sadness.

And sure, comfort is nice, but he realizes caring for others feels so good. Loving others feels amazing. Being loved feels so warm. Being proud of others, being supported by others, being wanted and needed by others is the best feeling. It's uncomfortable, being so loved because he's afraid of losing it all. And after seeing Miguel lose his daughter, its likely worse. And after Miles feels betrayed by him for not visiting, for giving away his location, for planning not to tell him about his father's death, it's likely more worse.

He does not want to lose people again. He's happy and flippant and jokes around so much its funny on screen, but goddamnit is this man so full of hurt. He loves people so much, you can see it on screen. The way he teaches Miles in ITSV. The way he touches the people he loves, hugging Gwen and Miles close to show them pictures of his baby, holding Mayday close when he's feeling vulnerable, patting Miguel's shoulder to get him to loosen up, standing close to Miles trying to talk him down- he loves people and he loves them so big and he's just so scared to lose them.

[vidavalor]

So... I made a key lime pie cheesecake thingy with toasted marshmallow topping, and something that was meant to be mint choc chip cake but ended up as mint choc chip brownie (task failed successfully?) with mint buttercream and candied violet petals on top -- have a slice of each!

Also, GO thoughts:

Restoration of angelic status: obvious BS offer in s2, foreshadow/Chekhovness for s3???

If the Bookshop was literally burned in s1 and got un-burned a couple of episodes later, and was metaphorically 'burned' in s2, five gets you ten it'll be un-burned by about halfway into s3. Reason one, parallel storytelling. Reason two (I think it was @ao3cassandraic's 'compassion fatigue' meta that talked about this), Azzy's never been shown much gratitude for the good stuff he does, so he's due a heaping helping of positive karma -- Anathema doing witchy stuff? Gabriel wanting to repay what he sees as some sort of life debt? Muriel wanting to repay his kindness? Azzy's old platoon remembering seeing him desert and deciding their respect for him outweighs their fear of punishment? Reason three, Good Omens is a fundamentally optimistic show written by a very talented storyteller who loves and cares for the characters, so the bad shit ain't gonna stick around forever and the good stuff is allowed to happen and persist without being cancelled out by gratuitous Drama(tm) and Angst(tm) (this isn't Game of Thrones, or a J**s Wh***n project). When Aziraphale quits the Bookshop for the South Downs, it would I think be out of keeping with the themes of the show for it to be anything other than his free, genuine, un-manipulated/forced/puppeteered choice, where he's had time to think things through and make arrangements for a proper handover.

If Gabriel could remember parts of Everyday even after removing his own memory, because of the strong positive emotional wossnames after less than four years, how much more might Aziraphale retain in his subconscious after an attempted memory wipe, given his bloody-minded stubbornness and 6000+ years of Crowley?

...it's too warm here rn and my brain is going wibbly and giving me Emotions(c)

Hi @jotun-philosopher! Hope you're having a good week so far, dear. Your kitchen adventures sound delicious. 💕

-On b.s. "Metatron" offer for Crowley foreshadowing restoration of angelic status in S3: I think, by the end of it, that Aziraphale's fall leads to the characters banding together to try to challenge it and overthrowing The Metatron in the process. They might all find out that it's The Metatron behind the concept of a demon and it's all b.s.. The demons will wind up restored to "full angelic status" by way of the fact that they'll realize they've really had it all along. Evil exists (Satan, The Metatron) but the rest of the angels and demons are, for the most part, just different shades of moral grey, like the rest of us. I think that would go along with the ideas of personal power that you mention and not letting others define you that I see in the series a bit. We'll have to see what happens though.

-On bookshop "unburned" in S3 & it being Aziraphale's choice to leave it: It's funny that you mention the fact that it was burned two different ways-- on fire in S1 and as a safe place in S2-- and how that fits in with the idea of mirrored storytelling because I was musing about what that could look like continued into in S3. I was thinking of the idea of "unburned" and I think there is an element of that. (Would also not be surprised if it's burnt a third time-- this time, by a burnt orange paint job lol.) I feel like it probably does remains an embassy. Have a meta in the ol' drafts folder about the bookshop, that its an embassy, and the cottage idea & where I can see already where the cottage idea might weaved into what's going on in S2 (besides the potential Jane Austen connection) so more on that when I get to finishing that one at some point between now and 2027 lol.

I do agree with your thoughts on the tone of the show and how it deals with dark stuff but in a way with a lot of humor and an overall positive tone. It'll have a good ending. You're right about Aziraphale being overdue for some good karma-- I think S3 will take care of him pretty well before all is over.

-On Gabriel's memory loss foreshadowing that Aziraphale might remember some things: What Gabriel could remember and when was really interesting. It played to me a lot like retrograde amnesia, which can really happen to some people who experience traumatic events. The mind puts caution tape around anything associated to the trauma and doesn't let the person engage those memories so, as a result, they lose parts of their identity. Suffer severe enough or all-encompassing enough trauma, like Gabriel did, and the mind can cause itself to forget its own identity completely in an effort to protect itself.

Gabriel's recall is also in keeping with that. He knows things like how to take himself to the bookshop and the lyrics to "Everyday" (and, some of us suspect, remembering Bildad!Crowley during the protection miracle scene) because part of his mind is whispering to him "these things are safe" since he considers the people associated with the memories safe but the context isn't safe enough to fully remember because of how Aziraphale, Crowley and Beez are tied to the traumatic event he's undergone.

There's also that Gabriel remembers more when he feels safe enough and trusts enough to do so. Crowley is more successful at helping him remember things once they've talked and the tone is less antagonistic and it's Beez, of course, who can bring him back in full.

I think Aziraphale will be the same if he loses his memories for part of the story. There will likely be things he remembers without full context. It will be fun to see what those are. One scene I think foreshadows his memory loss in general is the one below but I go back and forth on what it might be suggesting regarding what of Crowley Aziraphale can remember at first. The mirrored storytelling we mentioned would mean it could go either way, really, but I can only think of one, other character who could genuinely be described as a skinny latte, can't you? lol

[weirdmageddon]

long mediation on jade and dave’s relationship - part 2

part 1 is here

this part is essentially about dave and jade’s personalities, their basic dynamic, and how it works. and addressing some things ive seen said about dave in moments that people remove from context because they dont weigh these contexts and prior ones. if you want a post that goes into dave’s attitude towards jade (conclusion: he cares about her a lot) here it is

part 2: switcheroo + misconceptions about dave's role in dave and jade's relationship

something interesting i realized while writing this is the thing about grimbark jade is that she is no nonsense when her normal self is all about nonsense and entertaining silly things because she can see the merit in them. in fact she is always having a chuckle caused by dave's sense of humor and im sure dave got used to interacting with jade like that so wtf with grimbark jade

EB: so i think i have to get TG to use his copy to save her! EB: but that jackass won't shut up and stop rapping and stuff. GG: hahaha GG: he is so silly! (p.293)

TG: snows a big chilly carpet of nobody gives a shit TG: like old man winter spread around his nasty mayonnaise and turned the landscape into his personal asshole sandwich GG: eww dave no TG: when i look around all i see is the miles of unharnessed snowmen im just too damn cool to build GG: no this is so lame GG: i am hearing an insane and stupid guy say stupid idiot things while wearing dumb sunglasses for lame morons! TG: whoa jade with the fucking haymaker TG: i need to go look for my teeth on the canvas as soon as shit stops spinning and there stops being like ten of you GG: heheheh GG: why dont we play in the snow later (p.3024)

GG: i cant get over how tiny this thing is! GG: its so cute GG: so the baby frogs show up on this pad here? GA: Yes GG: i cant wait to try it GA: What Are You Laughing At There GG: oh GG: lol GG: dave just has a lot of funny stuff to say about all this GA: What Is He Saying GG: oh you know, a bunch of silly stuff GG: theres too much to copy/paste! GA: Hmm GG: here ill save it all to a file and send it to you -- gardenGnostic [GG] sent grimAuxiliatrix [GA] the file "daveisafunnyguy.txt" -- GA: Okay Im Laughing Pretty Hard At All That GG: hahaha (p.3312)

JADE: *snicker* JOHN: what? JADE: nothing JOHN: is someone messaging you through the game? JADE: hehe JOHN: who is it? JADE: pffff! JOHN: dammit, jade... JADE: its davesprite, hes playing too JOHN: oh. JOHN: don't tell him any of our strategies. he is the enemy! JADE: we have strategies? JOHN: um... JOHN: ok, first, tell him we have strategies. then, don't tell him them. JADE: hahahahahahaha JOHN: oh god. JOHN: what is it now? JADE: did you know... JADE: davesprite is a funny guy? JOHN: meh, he's alright i guess. JOHN: i give most of his jokes a passing grade. sometimes as high as a solid b+! JADE: i just told him you said that JADE: davesprite says to tell you "youre basically welcome for being born 14 years ago and 1 year ago you ungrateful douche" JOHN: oh, like him taking credit for my existence isn't so old by now! (p.4732)

in a way i feel like their roles parallel dave and jade in the earlier acts from homestuck, but inverted (and twisted/not as nice cause grimbark jade is under nefarious influences)

dave approaches the world from a highly pragmatic position. his ego (in the purely psychoanalytical sense) that he holds himself to, shows to the world, and what he tends to reason through is one that’s about relaxed competence. he’s critical of unreasonable actions and takes it upon himself to guide others into being more efficient in practical, realistic ways. he sees that jade struggles in these initially but she readily accepts his help, which is more than glad to provide.

this doesn’t say anything bad about jade harley. this doesn’t make her stupid, or in need the saving from a knight in shining armor nor does it make dave condescending towards her. it’s information that he is able to provide and that she appreciates and trusts his assistance with while she sees through the things that she prioritizes like helping others with matters of hidden opportunities / the big picture and interpersonal needs which are completely out of dave’s league, something he highly respects but doesnt feel its his greatest asset towards other people like jade does. jade is very into science and gadgetry, but remember that she relies heavily on her sharp intuition rather than straight up pragmatism like dave would. jade really is exceptional and multitalented but she doesn’t know how she does the things she does half the time!

(p.790)

even though dave acknowledges this it doesn’t really bother him

TG: hey TG: oh TG: youre asleep again arent you TG: or do you even know if you are TG: i still dont know how that works TG: its like nothing means anything TG: its so cool getting hella chumped by your coquettish damn riddles all the time TG: i dont know why i believe anything you say im like the grand marshal of gross chumpage (p.829)

GG: i want to tell him happy birthday and ask him about his birthday package! TG: oh yeah TG: i was being sort of cagey and told him to check the mail cause i was wondering if mine came yet GG: i think it did! TG: yeah? GG: and i think mine came too TG: so uh TG: i guess you want to know if he likes it or something? GG: no!!!!!!! GG: he will not open it GG: he will lose it!!! TG: oh TG: uh TG: wow sorry to hear that i guess? GG: no its good actually! GG: because he will find it again later when he really needs it GG: which of course is why i sent it in the first place! TG: see like TG: i never get how you know these things GG: i dont know GG: i just know that i know! TG: hmm alright (p.382)

TT: Jade is connected with you? TT: Where did she get the discs? TG: i dont know how does she do any of the loopy batshit nonsense she does (p.1401)

but because she’s gotten by on intuition and her dreams for most things, she’s not as adapted to the rationale behind actions. dave can sense her struggling and wants to help because it’s basically his mission for everyone, not just jade. but that’s the information that jade is glad to be led by and continues to unconsciously prompt him with. she encourages his practical ways and doesn’t tell him to fuck off or just straight up ignore his advice which dave interprets as his strengths being needed by someone else

GG: dave! GG: are you busy? GG: i dont have much time! GG: i am about to make my entry item, and its a little confusing GG: i think the more players we add, the trickier they are to... um...... GG: activate! GG: like yours was GG: i figured we could brainstorm about it, while john fusses with the kernel GG: helloooooo? TG: nak nak nak GG: :o (p.2907)

TG: yeah honestly i figured wed have to do something like this TG: so i guess here we are doing it GG: doing what?? TG: well youre my server player remember GG: yes TG: i need you to deploy something first TG: in my apartment TG: in a few hours ill go back there and we can continue this GG: oh jeez, a few hours???? -- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering gardenGnostic [GG] -- -- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering gardenGnostic [GG] -- TG: yeah TG: as in a few seconds TG: im back at my place now GG: fastest hours :o TG: yeah TG: now TG: deploy the intellibeam laserstation GG: but that costs so much grist!!! TG: no it costs practically nothing TG: check out how much ive got GG: omg... GG: what does this thing do? TG: its mostly pretty stupid and useless TG: but itll come in handy here TG: it reads captcha codes GG: on the back of cards? TG: yeah GG: but GG: we can already read those! TG: some are too garbled and complicated TG: the human eye cant decipher them TG: needs sophisticated scanning technology TG: and artificial intelligence to figure it out GG: hmm GG: but isnt the whole point of captchas that only humans can read them? GG: and not robots??? TG: yeah well TG: thats why this is so dumb (p.3025 / 3026)

TG: thisll be the disc i use for your connection TG: while the original will stay bound to roses connection GG: so you will be the server for BOTH us ladies??? GG: you just keep getting smoother, i cant handle all this smoothness TG: well technically TG: i will be your server TG: and past me will stay as roses server TG: which is to say present me will TG: the one in the black suit GG: ohh... GG: i guess that makes sense TG: he can keep managing her for a while TG: until she sorta checks out soon and becomes totally useless TG: then he can start hopping around time like i did TG: make a ton of money and stuff TG: eventually become me TG: and become your server player GG: ok i think i understand that! TG: yeah see its not hard to get the hang of TG: in the meantime ill kind of loiter around this timeframe to help you out for a while GG: yessss thanks dave <3

TG: im just going to cut right to the chase and upgrade your alchemiter so you can avoid a lot of bullshit TG: ill give you some codes and you can punch cards and slip em into jumper blocks GG: yaaaaaaaaaaaay! (p.3030 - 3032)

jade has strengths that dave has weaknesses in too, which dave himself points out!!!

TG: ok so TG: the egg is now in a nest made of shitty swords and soft puppet ass TG: please advise GG: i think your sprite wants to hatch it! GG: awww TG: do you think thatll take more than four hours GG: hmm... GG: i dont know it looks like its pretty warm where you are TG: its hot as the sizzle side of the steak GG: maybe not too long then???? GG: i guess we'll find out! TG: maybe i should try to get it back TG: and put it in the microwave GG: :( (p.1507)

dave assumed the egg needed to be heated to break and allow him to enter the game, so his course of action is to go up there and get it himself and use whatever means are at his disposal. that is a logical, straightforward thing to do. he doesnt rely on uncertainty and blind trust that things will just work out when he has the ability to take action in a way that makes sense; that’s jade’s thing. but it turns out jade’s intuition for how to solve dave’s entry puzzle was right! it was actually a test of patience. he later says this to jade

GG: you guys are all so much better than me, i feel sooooo lame TG: we all start out somewhere TG: remember how i was scrambling up that tower to get that egg like an idiot TG: what the hell was i doing TG: i was like goddamn pooh bear in a tree reaching up his fat fuckin pooh paw for some mother fuckin honey GG: heehee TG: so even though im awesome now at one point i was plausibly likened to an autistic stuffed animal TG: and you even knew what to do TG: you told me how it worked all christopher robinning my ignorant ass about that egg TG: but i was all like IM A LITTLE BLACK RAIN CLOUD BITCH WATCH ME CLIMB TG: so maybe youre startin out with more sense than me GG: maaaybe GG: :) (p.3025)

hes pretty much like jade's hypeman but in his own sort of lowkey way and is actually sweetly reassuring to her. this includes davesprite btw

GG: those stupid things are impossible to kill :( TG: no you can kill them TG: youll get better dont worry (p.3024)

GG: hmmmm... GG: i dont know if i get that but ok! TG: well yeah TG: my thing is time yours is space TG: pretty different things TG: you GET things about space i dont TG: or you will GG: i will? TG: yup (p.3024)

DAVESPRITE: as a sprite im supposed to help him with his quest JADESPRITE: oh yeah JADESPRITE: im supposed to help jade too, but...... JADESPRITE: *sniffle* DAVESPRITE: shes doing alright dont worry about it JADESPRITE: ok, ill try... JADESPRITE: shes a lot more brave than me i think JADESPRITE: she brought me back thinking i could help her and all i did was disappoint her and everyone else JADESPRITE: you came back as a sprite and youre managing to do important things... JADESPRITE: but i just feel so scared and helpless DAVESPRITE: sounds like you came back because jade made the decision for you DAVESPRITE: i made the decision to come back myself maybe itd be different if you had the same chance JADESPRITE: i dont know if i would have if i had the chance JADESPRITE: but i would like to not feel so useless to everybody DAVESPRITE: i think everyones on top of this DAVESPRITE: theres not much for us to do anymore (p.3927)

DAVESPRITE: so jade must have done something right DAVESPRITE: to wake her up and get the forge going DAVESPRITE: dont know what she did though JADESPRITE: probably something amazing JADESPRITE: she is still working so hard to help everyone JADESPRITE: i guess i used to be that way... JADESPRITE: but ive completely forgotten how DAVESPRITE: are you sure (p.3945)

JADESPRITE: it reminds me of when i died JADESPRITE: and i was trying to wake john up JADESPRITE: i was scared then too JADESPRITE: but i didnt let the fear stop me from trying to save him DAVESPRITE: what would you want to do DAVESPRITE: if you werent scared JADESPRITE: i have no idea JADESPRITE: i guess try to help JADESPRITE: what is there to do? DAVESPRITE: well DAVESPRITE: i was going to bring this sword to dave JADESPRITE: oh noo JADESPRITE: does that mean youre going to leave? DAVESPRITE: no DAVESPRITE: i was gonna say DAVESPRITE: im not in any shape for more adventuring DAVESPRITE: i figure this is probably my last stop JADESPRITE: :( DAVESPRITE: but maybe this is a way you can help JADESPRITE: you mean... JADESPRITE: that i should give him the sword? DAVESPRITE: if you want JADESPRITE: but i dont want to leave you here either DAVESPRITE: maybe you dont have to actually go anywhere DAVESPRITE: you oughta have a lot of special powers remember DAVESPRITE: because of ascending to doghood JADESPRITE: oh yeah! DAVESPRITE: try doing your spacey thing DAVESPRITE: i mean not to sound condescending or anything but its got to be like borderline omnipotence pretty much DAVESPRITE: just put your mind to it (p.3946)

knowing all of this about dave and jade’s personalities and how they work together, i’ve see people get on dave’s case about making jade slap herself in the face after she put the dead bird into his kernelsprite while he was preoccupied with taking a leak

dave freaks the hell out when he realizes she’s asleep; he needs to wake her up because she needs to help him get into the game while requires pragmatism and reasonable actions so that he’s not crushed to death by an imminent meteor. or falling plumbing fixtures. the goal wasn’t to show her who’s in control or whatever or to be mean (do people seriously think he would do that to be mean to her just to slap a girl?) it was strictly to wake her up since he has no means of influencing that besides getting creative

while asleep, jade doesn’t think logically and certainty not to the extent dave needs her to be right now. she’s scattered lalalalala and can forget about limitations or consequences in the real world and also has a short memory span while dreaming: e.g. “4 hours until what?” and she put something into the kernelsprite right after dave asked her not to because she forgor </3 and jade does acknowledge this about her dreaming self btw

GG: i mean, i only talked to you when i was asleep! i am kind of different when im dreaming... GG: i forget things, and at times im not totally sure whats real GG: dont you remember thats what its like to dream on prospit? (p.3056)

dave literally says “we need to wake you up youre not very logical like this” and he does apologize about making her dreambot wake-up slap her

i also see people say that dave thought of jade as helpless and he needs to be the hero and that's why "davejade is not good actually"

TG: but ok i mean isnt that what heroes should be doing TG: working to take down the bad guy without a whole lot of this fuckin grandiloquence and these huge sweeping plans that got nothin to do with fighting him TG: like always biding our time and tiptoeing around the unbeatable god boss TG: johns too nice to get mad TG: rose spends all her time calculating TG: too focused on machiavellian ploys of sabotage to try anything drastic TG: jade is TG: i dont even know TG: probably more a liability if she got it in her head to take him down TG: if anything id bet she just needs protection GC: WH4T 4R3 YOU S4Y1NG H3R3 D4V3, 1N TH1S CONV3RS4T1ON TH4T 1S ST1LL B31NG 4BOUT YOU TG: im just wondering TG: when does someone actually step up TG: jacks got shit to pay for (p.3703)

this minor thread gets followed up on in the pesterlog where jade contacts dave and eventually she concludes jack needs to be stopped and dave's like ... "oh shit" in his head. "oh shit" as in jade's got Game good for her go jade, "oh shit" as in she's going to be ripe for the stabbing cause the idea is in her head now, and "oh shit" as in this moment is the seed of why im going to have to rehearse jade accidentally killing me over and over and i cant tell her about it. due to this he is always fated to die in the alpha timeline both standing up to jack and to protect jade. it's woven into his story. but he was wrong about everyone else also! which i dont see brought up when that quote is used? rose does something drastic (pilots the moon into the furthest ring) and john gets mad (on the ship) and jade is the opposite of needing protection (she’s the only one jack won’t stab and also she ends up so fucking OP she has to be basically written out of act 6) so it's less a thing about jade specifically but to show that in hindsight dave was wrong about ALL his friends. which is an interesting discussion to be had about him in itself, but not now. this is the most sane and well-thought out interpretation of it ive seen

"In general, though, I think Dave has a tendency not uncommon to [thirteen] year olds (or… humans in general, if we’re being honest here) to cast everyone else as a player in his own story and characterize them in ways that fit what he wants. There’s the famous chunk where he says John never gets angry, Rose will never stop scheming long enough to take action, and Jade’s a liability, only to be proven wrong in every count. That fits his understanding of these people and his ideal relationship with them - friend, actor, protector, the one in the group who can be the hero." "Yes, I think Dave probably saw Jade as the most supportive and least judgmental friend. I’m not sure if that impacted his incorrect judgment of her since that’s kind of a pattern for him in general, but I guess it could’ve."

and also putting this solely on dave is kind of ... ehhhhh? because john says the same thing about jade but i don't see anyone getting on his case for it.

CG: SHE AND DAVE RAN INTO JACK, WHICH I'M SURE HE MUST HAVE SAW COMING BECAUSE I'VE NEVER SEEN ANYONE EXPLOIT TIME TRAVEL SO SHAMELESSLY AS HIM, NOT EVEN ARADIA. CG: SO SHE AND DAVE FOUGHT WITH HIM A WHILE, AND LONG STORY SHORT, HE DIED. EB: what!!! CG: BUT IT'S FINE, I GUESS THAT WAS HIS PLAN, LIKE SOME BIZARRE USELESS LAST STAND, EVEN IF HE DIDN'T TELL JADE WHO WAS PRETTY FREAKED OUT UNTIL I TALKED HER THROUGH IT. CG: JADE SAYS SHE HAS THIS FIGURED OUT, AND I DON'T HAVE TIME TO DO MUCH BUT TRUST HER. CG: THE POINT IS, SHE'S ALL BOOKED UP, AND ALL TOO MORTAL. SO SHE WON'T BE DELIVERING THE BOMB, AND NEITHER WILL YOU. EB: ok, well what about this. EB: since she is mortal, and i am not (sort of), and i don't need to do the scratch for a while, can i go help her? EB: maybe she could use some protection? maybe that is what dave was just trying to do, when he temporarily died. EB: remember, jack is still on the loose! he has killed rose and dave once, and me twice. CG: NO NO NO NO NO NO. CG: SWEET BLEEDING JEGUS, EGBERT, YOU KEEP BRAGGING ABOUT YOUR IMMORTALITY, AND THEN BRAINLESSLY ANNOUNCE PLANS TO GO OFF AND DO SOMETHING HEROIC! YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE THE SHORTEST LIFESPAN OF ANY IMMORTAL IN HISTORY. EB: sorry. :( CG: BESIDES, IT'S A TOTAL NON ISSUE. JACK WOULDN'T HESITATE TO STAB YOU AGAIN, BUT HE WON'T HURT JADE FOR SOME REASON. CG: IF ANYTHING, YOU COULD USE HER PROTECTION. (p.3869 / 3871)

and also keep in mind dave does absolutely change his perception about jade's strength??

DAVE: youll probably annihilate me worse than my bro used to DAVE: dont you have all of your dogs insane powers and like DAVE: god tier space powers on top of all that DAVE: how exactly am i supposed to compete with that (p.6384)

DAVE: gotta keep em napping DAVE: especially jade im sure you know what kind of crooked ass baloneyfuck powers she got DAVE: cant let her turn those against us (p.7485)

so back to grimbark jade and the switching of these roles, dave doesn’t entirely lose his pragmatic bent. that’s still the way he thinks about stuff through but his time on the meteor has softened him and allowed him to become more reflective on big-picture things such as his role in everything

ironically this is the exact reason for his clash with grimbark jade is because she’s trying really hard to make him do stuff and it’s stuff that he’s not going to budge on because he doesn’t think it’s practical

JADE: why not? JADE: our empress can hardly have a knight with such rusty combat skills in her service DAVE: will you cut it out with the evil jade baloney DAVE: im not going to fight you DAVE: my rooftop dueling days are OVER JADE: en garde! DAVE: ugh DAVE: even if we just went balls out jackass BANANAS with our swords here i mean realistically how much appreciable advancement in my battle skills would even result from that DAVE: are you actually thinking this through or just going through the vaguely nefarious motions that come with the territory of being evildog!jade JADE: im gonna go through the vaguely nefarious motions of kicking your ass in a minute if you dont put up your dukes!!! DAVE: yeah you probably will DAVE: youll probably annihilate me worse than my bro used to DAVE: dont you have all of your dogs insane powers and like DAVE: god tier space powers on top of all that DAVE: how exactly am i supposed to compete with that JADE: by using your time trickery! JADE: come on dave do your timey thing JADE: get creative, make lots of copies of yourself or something... outsmart me! DAVE: no! JADE: yes!!! DAVE: ok here i go JADE: !!!!! DAVE: wait DAVE: nah JADE: grrr JADE: dave, just try a little time travel to get this fight started JADE: see look, one of your time doubles is surely predestined to come from a few minutes in the future and appear behind me for a surprise attack, riiiight about... JADE: now! JADE: ... JADE: no wait JADE: riiiiiiiiiight... JADE: ... JADE: ... JADE: NOW! JADE: .... JADE: ..... JADE: dave why is your future self being such a wet blanket DAVE: i told you DAVE: im not time traveling DAVE: i think im giving it up for good actually (p.6384)

one thing floral mentions in her post is that dave is pushing jade for answers about her failed relationship with davesprite

DAVE: why are you dragging that guy into this DAVE: what happened with you and him anyway JADE: none of your business >:p DAVE: it kind of is DAVE: hes bird me DAVE: that clearly means i have a right to know JADE: that doesnt make any sense! DAVE: you said he had issues DAVE: what issues JADE: augh! JADE: forget i mentioned it DAVE: was he talking shit about me the whole time or something DAVE: i know he resents me for being the real dave JADE: dont say that, you arent the real dave! JADE: well you are, but phrasing it like that is so mean! JADE: hes just as real as you, and when you imply he isnt you sound like a jerk!!! DAVE: man i knew it DAVE: i knew he was poisoning your view of me all those years DAVE: and i wasnt there to say anything or defend against his slander so now of course you think im a neurotic douche (p.6386)

and while it is true nobody is obligated to share the details of their relationship, there is a LOT of evidence to believe dave was asking because he wants to be a good person and, to me his words here, and his past and future actions relative to this point, show that he’s not as messed up of a person as grimbark jade is making him out to be. let’s dive into it. think on this: why does dave care so much what jade thinks about him? he started getting “neurotic” halfway through the conversation once jade brought up her feelings about him

JADE: THE ONLY REASON I THINK YOURE A NEUROTIC DOUCHE IS BECAUSE YOURE ACTING LIKE ONE NOW!!! DAVE: yeah but i only started acting like a neurotic douche like half way through this conversation DAVE: you clearly had an axe to grind with me from the start and i want to know why DAVE: what did i ever do to deserve this shit from you JADE: YOU BROKE MY HEART!!!!!! DAVE: what DAVE: i did DAVE: when (p.6386)

he’s genuinely so lost because he hadn’t had contact with any extension of jade in 3 years. alpha timeline dave has been sensitive towards jade for basically forever and especially now that he’s had time to grow up. he is not going to allow any version of himself hurt jade, and thats why hes asking so many questions to her about the nature of the relationship and what happened

JADE: ok not you JADE: davesprite did JADE: BUT YOURE BASICALLY THE SAME GUY! DAVE: whoa no way DAVE: thats such an unfair characterization we are completely different dudes JADE: you just said you had a right to know what happened between us because, and i quote, "hes bird me" DAVE: no i know DAVE: i was playing the "hes bird me" card because it was convenient to whatever it was i was saying at the time DAVE: i forget what point i was making when i said that JADE: *growl* DAVE: but thats not the point im making now DAVE: he and me are just DAVE: crazy different yo DAVE: hes got fuckin wings!!! DAVE: he also presumably takes a dump and lays eggs out of the same ghostly hole DAVE: ... DAVE: ew man whyd i have to go there JADE: *SNARL* DAVE: ok if he broke up with you or whatever that was because of his dumb bird issues not my issues DAVE: theres no way i would have done that to you (p.6386)

what dave means to say by “hes bird me because it was convenient to say at the time but it doesnt apply to this circumstance” is exactly what i was getting at in part 1 of this series of posts. yes, they are the same people at their very foundation, different reflections of a single character, but up to a point. there’s a gray area of whether or not we can call dave and davesprite the same person. in terms of this conflict though, dave should be regarded as a separate individual because of their diverging history up to that point and adolescent-teenage growth in different environments and under different circumstances. even if dave doesn't know what hes trying to say

he wants to know what this alternate version of himself did to hurt jade so much. even if grimbark jade really is bringing dave into some shit he had nothing to do with.

see the thing is, to me dave could have easily handled being accused a lot worse and say something like “youre overreacting” or something. that wouldve been dickish. but he doesn’t, he never does. he really seems to be more motivated by like, “woah what?? whats his problem? are these about issues i still have and dont know they were hurting jade or are they uniquely davesprite’s?”

like, this isn’t a joke to him even if his main form of communication through humor to lighten the mood (jade loves dave’s silliness dont forget all the times she’s giggled because dave was “so silly” and “hes a funny guy”). immediately after rescuing the mayor from eviljade’s lava kick, he was going to give davesprite a piece of his mind and this shows he is sincerely concerned about what an alternate version of himself did to break jade’s heart. he REALLY fuckin wants closure on it because he cares about her feelings so much

i don’t see this other side covered in floral’s post, but evildog jade here is Also pushing dave to do something that he is uncomfortable with as well, which is to use time travel.

dave stopped time traveling so he wouldn’t “have to wonder all the time if i was taking a wrong turn and dooming everybody”, stating he was “never that cool with it” to rose back in act 5. around the same time when karkat talks to john, he says “TO MY KNOWLEDGE, HE DOESN'T TIME TRAVEL AFTER [FIGHTING JACK WITH JADE], AND HE AND ROSE STAY ON DERSE WAITING FOR THE BOMB UNTIL YOU START THE SCRATCH” which honestly makes me think that whole event was the nail in the coffin for dave on time traveling. seeing himself die fighting jack and knowing it was coming and he couldnt tell jade no matter how much he wanted to that her bullets were going to be the cause. this is the last straw for him regarding time traveling it affected him that much

remember the last lines of pesterlog jade had with dave before being separated? i mentioned it earlier--the one where jade decided jack needs to be stopped and they should “come up with a better plan than Rose’s suicide mission to stop him. Dave suggests the idea is futile, but lets her know she’d come to her own decision regardless, and he’d be available to talk later if needed” (from recap 3)

GG: well maybe im just being naive... GG: but a crazy suicide mission does not sound like the ideal solution to me! GG: are you suuuure we cant beat him? GG: i dont know if we should rule it out! TG: well TG: youre about to do what youre about to do TG: and im not going to tell you not to TG: i wont do the bullshit troll thing and tell you what youre going to do and then just dare you not to TG: while knowing damn well you will anyway TG: so ill just say TG: whats next is up to you TG: and if later you want to talk about it TG: im here GG: ok GG: thanks dave! (p.3204)

this was dave’s nice causality-free way of saying “youre going to end up killing me during the jack fight that winds up happening. i cant tell you that im going to die and that youre going to be the one to shoot me, because i know you wouldnt go through with it. that would drag us in a doomed timeline and we’d all die anyway, not just me. youre probably going to be freaked out when it happens since i can’t tell you this, so if you want to talk me about it later, ill be here for you”

which, first of all is, holy shit. he cares about her and her feelings so fucking much. and it’s nothing new

TT: What about why you went to fight Jack? TG: sure TG: i did that TG: because i wanted to TG: and because i was supposed to TT: Are you sure? TG: yeah i saw my future self fighting him so obviously that had to happen or else id be dead anyway TG: without even getting the satisfaction of standing up to him TT: So what about Jade? TG: what TT: You didn't tell her your expedition with her would result in your death, let alone one she'd inadvertently cause. TT: Or that she'd be stuck with the job of resuscitating you. Did you? TG: what am i really supposed to say TG: hey were gonna hunt frogs til you shoot me through the jack TG: then i die and youve got to make out with me TG: that kind of changes how the whole thing goes doesnt it TT: Not if you're "supposed to," right? TG: what does that even mean TT: I guess you're right. No reason to make an effort to empathize if doing so comes at the price of oblivion. TG: wtf TT: It must be comforting to have your ASPD tacitly supported by predestination. TG: aspd TT: Antisocial personality disorder. TG: oh no TG: this conversation just got bumrushed by a mudslide of fucking awful TT: It wasn't already awful, believing you might be dead? TG: you dont know anything TG: about what i was feeling or what happened on lofaf TG: you were all pavement faced and babbling your throefester speak and flipping off the shit with your own crazy deathwish thing why do you think you know what was going through my head TG: youre just assuming and throwing around psyche buzzwords like aspd complex disorder TG: im telling you if i said anything at all about it she probably doesnt even fire her gun once and all im doing is dragging her into a doomed timeline with me TT: I guess I'm learning to be impressed by your sense of obligation to inevitable misfortune. It's a strange case of inspiration through futility. TG: none of this is that big a deal TG: i just mentioned the basics to her TG: that id stop time traveling soon TG: break out of the loops TG: not have to wonder all the time if i was taking a wrong turn and dooming everybody TG: i was never that cool with this (p.3896)

dave got suddenly super fucking defensive about rose making assumptions about how he felt about fighting jack and knowing jade was going to inadvertently kill him, knowing damn well how jade reacts to seeing corpses (remember that time dave threw his slain body out the window so jade wouldnt see it because “it would probably freak her out”), and the fact that he couldn’t warn her to protect the alpha timeline and also protect both of them and everyone from falling into a doomed timeline. and he knew it was coming the whole time. he was right, rose didn’t know what was going through his head. but his defensiveness here means he had strong feelings about it. not only that but dave saying “whats next is up to you, and if later you want to talk about it, im here” shows the amount of trust he has towards her

we see him tell this to grimbark jade straight up his thought process for why he stopped time traveling. and it’s spot on with what i said. again, remember that this is the first conversation he has with jade after 3 years being separated

DAVE: but see with time travel DAVE: all the stuff about learning it so you dont have to use it is true DAVE: theres no good that can come of it DAVE: you can crunch the logic on the loops all you want DAVE: but all youre doing is painting yourself into a corner DAVE: creating inevitabilities you have to rehearse and enact or face death for yourself or everyone you know DAVE: and sometimes facing death is the very inevitability you have to rehearse DAVE: and then you wait and wait knowing its coming and knowing it has to happen DAVE: how do you think it made me feel when we were gathering up all those frogs DAVE: and i knew the whole time in a little while you would have to watch me get shot DAVE: but i couldnt say anything or it would mess it all up DAVE: all cause i thought it would be cool to be marty mcfuckin fly DAVE: but instead of shredding johnny b goode on guitar to get my parents to bang DAVE: my crowning performance was doing a funny dance while getting pumped full of lead JADE: ...... (p.6385)

and what fucking broke me yesterday was realizing after all this time, ironically it was DAVE who wound up being the one who had to talk to jade about it.

JADE: sorry dave, you lost me there after the part where i shot you DAVE: damn DAVE: ok lemme start over (p.6385)

“damn ok lemme start over” bro he really wants to open up to her about this thing he’s been stewing on for three years only for it to fall on deaf mind controlled ears. it’s so fucking sad

part 3 is cooking and it’s going to be about dave’s character growth post-meteor and what that means for dave and jade

[artbyfinnbrown]

Screenshots of my favourite moments from Re:Zero Arc 7 (Part 1):

Todd, it’s chapter 7. You don’t even hate Subaru yet. Why are you already talking about things that could potentially act as parallels to Return by Death?

This death (and the subsequent loops that follow) is probably my favourite sequence of Subaru deaths. I had to do a double take reading this when I realized that the words had started repeating. It starts so suddenly.

I love the O’Connell siblings. Nothing bad better happen to these to or I will be very upset.

“No trust me, I have to keep using the girl voice, it’s about staying in character” Sure buddy, whatever you need to say to feel better about yourself.

So I know this is meant to be screenshots of my favourite arc 7 moments, I guess this is also screenshots arc 7 moments that just make be feel sad and go “Aw, Man”

Wow, Subaru, you’re weirdly into making sure your boobs seem real. I wonder if that means anything.

Priscilla is weirdly one of the characters that seems to be most okay with Subaru’s crossdressing. She’s still mocking him, but she’s not mocking him for crossdressing, she’ll mocking him for being Subaru. She basically says “Yeah you’re a pretty hot woman. Unfortunately, I know your true cringe nature, so your good looks have no effect on me”.

Al. How many times did you die Al.

HA.

“I’ll fill you in on the correct information about Natsumi next time”. This implies that Subaru has Natsumi Schwarz lore that he actively maintains, which is incredibly funny (and also shows just how much dedicated he is to the Natsumi Schwartz persona)

Abel: Good that you’re here Priscilla. I assume you brought troopS with you to help support my cause? Priscilla: Nope! Just me and these 3 useless men I got to follow me around. Abel: Abel: Girl I am trying to retake a nation here-

I really like what arc 7 does with Priscilla’s character. Because arc 3 really just sets her up as an arrogant asshole. And arc 7 never disproves that, she’s still an arrogant asshole. But she’s an arrogant asshole who cares some very specific people.

On my first readthrough, this just seems like another instance of Subaru and Abel’s banter. However knowing everything there is to know now about Vincent and China’s relationship… yeah, it makes sense why Abel might not want people to talk about Chisa betraying him.

“Either is fine” She says. Okay sure thing buddy (Googles “What is Bigender” on a separate tab)

Damn Rem, I’m pretty sure killing him would have inflicted less psychological damage at this point. I do think it is interesting that despite being unfriendly towards Subaru for most of the arc so far, Rem does try to help him by trying to make him feel less guilty about not being able to save everyone. Unfortunately, she had no way of knowing that Subaru was basing a large amount if his self-worth off the belief that Rem thinks of him as a hero, leading this to backfire.

Those are some great questions about Al being brought up. Does he know about Return by Death? Does he have an ability like it? If He does, why wasn’t he able to prevent the loss of his arm? NOW IF ONLY HE WOULD GIVE US SOME ACTUAL ANSWERS-

I don’t know how to feel about the fact that horses exist in the Re:Zero world. I always assumed that Land Dragons just filled the role that horses did in this world. So that fact that there are actual horses feels kind of weird. I don’t like it . Unless horses have always been a thing in Re:Zero and I just somehow never noticed. Does anyone else think that horses existing in Re:Zero is weird? maybe it’s just me.

I mean, I could do an analysis on Natsumi Schwartz, but at this point I feel like Re:Zero tumblr has analyzed Natsumi to hell and back, so I don’t know if there’s really anything meaningful I could add at this point. I’ll leave it at this: At minimum he’s a Drag Queen, and at maximum she’s a trans woman, with the truth probably being somewhere in between those two extremes.

On its own this is nothing. The fact that Subaru says this right after the story refers to Natsumi Schwartz as Subaru’s “ideal self” is what really gives me the sad “Aw, man” feeling.

No Abel was right I don’t think that deserved a response.

AL GODDAMMIT HOW MANY TIMES DID YOU DIE THIS TIME YOU CRYPTIC MOTHER-

Anyway, expect part 2 of this post soon.

[villainsandvictimsalliance]

I love how bnha parallels Izuku's first heroic act, his connection with other kids and Tenko's past.

In the first chapter of bnha, while the slime villain is about to kill Bakugo, everyone is waiting for a hero with the right quirk to show up and save him.

Deku's lifelong dream of being a hero has just been rejected by All Might, so he's "trying to be realistic" as everyone told him he should be.

Instead, Deku's body moves on its own once he realizes that a hero could arrive too late and Bakugo could be dead by them. In truth, Deku doesn't know what he's doing or why. His body moves on its own because "Bakugo looked like he needed saving".

That moment convinces All Might that Deku has what it takes to be a hero. Even more, to be an OFA user.

In Tenko's past we saw that no one around him would save him because they were waiting for the heroes to arrive. Similarly to what happened with Bakugo, except no Deku showed up to help little Tenko. He was roaming aimlessly, hands covered in blood and completely in shock. Yet, the people who passed by were too scared to act.

The chapter makes it very clear that if someone had reached for him, maybe things could have been different.

AFO "found him" in the end, planting in his heart the seeds of resentment against society and heroes for not saving or helping him at all.

When Deku comes across Eri, she's crying, arms full of bandages and she begs Deku to not let go. Although he had the disadvantage of being only Mirio and him against a seemingly dangerous man, Deku insisted on questioning Overhaul. He kept on using his mind to focus on the evidence he had that Overhaul was abusing Eri.

Deku's thoughts say it all. He cannot back down in the face of a frightened child crying. Aren't they heroes? Even if it's scary or too much to handle, it is their duty to react.

Like All Might first told him, his smile was to hide how scared he was, how nervous. It was his life on the line each time! That's what being a pro-hero means, being willing to put your life on the line to save others.

We saw a bit of that before, during the Summer training arc. Kota couldn't believe Deku would go so far to protect him. In fact, the reason for it was quite simple.

Deku is a hero.

Like Deku said:

" It's not a matter of what you can or can't do. For a hero, risking our lives and walking the walk is our job! "

The moment he saw Kota crying, Deku swore he would do anything to save him, no matter what.

So really, it's been building since day one. The only option for Tomura and Deku's fight resolution was for Deku to give his absolute best to help the person in front of him.

Kinda funny, how the name of my blog comes from such belief: that Tomura is both a victim and a villain, that a person can be both an answer to both parts of themselves in equal measure. One thing doesn't cancel the other out.

[summery-captain]

AuDHD traits Dirk Gently Displays - S1E5: Very Erectus

- You may follow the google docs file I'm writing everything down in, also! If you haven't read them yet, links to the first four episodes:

S1E1 - Horizons / S1E2 - Lost and Found / S1E3 - Rogue Wall Enthusiasts / S1E4 - Watkin

Click read more to read the analysis of the fifth episode! Tagging: @clockworkcheetah @urlocallesbiab @generalized-incompetence @amber-angel @goatygoat @frenchfriedgiraffe

> In the scene in the dinner, after they start driving to go look for the 'treasure' based on the map, Todd starts insisting that Dirk has a power and he immediately deflects and shuts down, avoiding eye contact completely, looking around. > The second Todd says "It's you. It's something about you", he goes "I'm not psychic, drop it." - of course this enters the parallel of the whole show being about the holistics having their ties to the universe in different ways, but I've had moments where people know I'm autistic and they start insisting on either me being actually "normal" and it being a superpower, trying to single me or sus me out, and I react similarly to Dirk in this scene > "No!! We are having this conversation", discomfort, "Here, let's do an experiment" EXTREME discomfort - sometimes you're just existing and people want a) an explanation of your whole life and b) for you to prove to be what you say you are > "Look, I can't explain it, ok? I learned a long time ago things don't always make sense the way people want them to" - AuDhd to its barest components– > "You're going to have to accept that too. To. Too. To. Too? Two?" - very common to lose a bit of sense of words both in autism (overwhelmed) and plus ADHD having the common comorbidity of dyslexia 

> Trading the Corvette for the beat down jeep, and when Todd goes "???" he says "It's just a rental!" - he makes decisions and when people express concern assumes it's based on something else, even if it doesn't make sense. So he just says it. I usually know for a fact I won't figure out what they're ACTUALLY judging me for - general inaptitude to read between the lines or figure out social situations 

> Martin tells Amanda, about Dirk, "He's got gourmet panic!" - he just like us, he just like us fr 

> "Don't start with the zen master thing, ok? It worked out a lot better before I figured out you were a mess, too" - people tend to assume we're more put together than they are because we showcase emotions differently 

> When Todd says he's gonna give up on digging, he just goes "Wouldn't this be just one more thing you walked away from, though" - not the sincerautistic murder-- Sometimes I also blurt out things and accidentally read people to filth without fully realizing. 

> He puts clues together and recognizes patterns then blurts it out, classic AuDHD style

 > "(...) I think life is like that too, just an endless series of room with puzzles and eventually one of them kills you" / "That's dark and depressing" - my fellow AuDHD ambassador just drops bombs and doesn't even realize 

> "What is it?" / "A thing" - stating the obvious shouldn't be as funny as it is but it never gets old 

> "You brought the cat?" / "Of course I did" - just. Very cute honestly but also, I too make decisions without fully realizing what it would entail, like bringing a kitten around with you while digging shit up 

> Todd starts venting to him and he's like. Confused - but yet again he tries his very best to support him, saying "When I look behind me, I can't see ahead of me" / "Are you saying dwelling on my past is holding me back?" / "No. I mean I literally can't see what's back there when I'm looking forward" - general literal thinking

> "You know what I was thinking about? When I was staring down at the barrel of that gun?" "...bullets?" - literal thinking part 321 electric boogaloo

> “Everything is connected. But only I can see it… I’m not.. Psychic. But I am something” yeah. Autistic-

> “The hunches don’t help me, ever” - we tend to figure stuff out based on our general understanding of them, trying to consciously clock things others don’t have to think twice about, but the same is true in reverse, where things that may seem impossible for neurotypicals to figure out, we see immediately. Although we may know these things, we’re usually not taken seriously enough or don’t have the bandwidth to actually prevent some things from happening to us or around us.

> “I don’t have any friends, I am always surrounded by bizarre and frightening states of disaster, and I am always alone” - sad part hours, but it’s unfortunately true: we’re always overwhelmed, surrounded by input we can’t filter out, and it is extremely hard to make and maintain friends. But Dirk has found his people and so will all of us, eventually!!

> When Todd says “And Dirk? I am your friend.” - immediate hope, bright red eyes, furrowed eyebrows, then IMMEDIATELY he schools his expression out to nonchalant, so yet again his big reactions don’t push people around him away (both true for Dirk and in our general experience, having had to tone yourself down your whole life does NUMBERS on you)

[otakween]

Digimon Tamers - Episode 1

Dear God...the vibes are immaculate. THIS WAS SO GOOD! So cinematic! So atmospheric! What a fabulous pilot episode. I'm definitely hooked. I'm trying not to overhype this show because the internet has sung its praises to the high heavens and I don't want to be let down. Let's take it one episode at a time and see how it goes :) (so far, so good).

Notes:

-So many thoughts, so many questions. Firstly, I'm getting the vibe that this is a parallel universe to the worlds of Digimon Adventure and Digimon Adventure 02. In those worlds digimon weren't a fictional concept (as far as I know) before they became real. In this world Takato knows digimon from video games and TCG before he meets one in person. Also. the world isn't aware that digimon are real, so this wouldn't be in the 02 world post-epilogue.

-A very small cast in this one! Only 3 kids (so far). I think this could be a very good thing. Tighter writing and more developed characters. These kids have barely said anything but they already feel more 3 dimensional than the 02 kids lol. Also, their designs are a lot more subdued which I think helps with the realistic feel.

-Culumon was...a little annoying, but cute at the same time. I love his retractable ears and that he asks a zillion questions like a toddler. Just wish he didn't say "culu" ever 2 seconds lol. He looks like a magical girl companion.

-We're still in Tokyo, Shinjuku this time around. Will we ever get a Digimon MC who's a country bumpkin? That could be fun.

-The gamer in me shudders at all of the new digimon that are about to be introduced. Good thing I'm not a "raise them all" kind of completionist.

-Digimon TCG anime debut! When they were like "Option card!" I was like "omg! I know that! I know the rules!" I wonder if the TCG will show up again or if they just used it to kickstart the plot?

-Takato's school DOESN'T have uniforms!? What kind of anime school is this!? (No seriously, I thought that was more of a rural school thing).

-I can relate to Takato designing his own digimon during class. I totally did that in elementary school too (with Pokemon as my inspo tho)

-I'm not in love with the new digivice design (a little bulky), but I like that it has a keychain strap. How practical!

-I'm not sure where Takato is getting the "tamers" vocab from. I don't think that would be referenced too much in the TCG, so he must be getting it from the video games.

-Love that Takato lives above his family's bakery. Give me ALL the anime food!

-I just googled this, but apparently the "guil" in "Guilmon" comes from "guilty." Didn't see that coming. I thought it might be Gila monster lol. Of course we get another stinkin' dinosaur-like digimon for the MC. Oh well. I guess that's what the little boys like. He's kinda cute, I suppose

-I don't know the main girl's name yet, but damn, what a badass! I feel like we haven't gotten this kind of female character yet. Closest would be maybe Hikari in her edgier moments, but she's more on the sweet side. I know that the furries like her partner digimon lol (Renamon, I believe?) To be honest, I'm not sold on her design yet. I think it's a little weird looking. Maybe she'll grow on me.

-When Guilmon's egg hatched I thought he died lol. I forgot that an egg cracked in half can be a good thing too.

-I was kind of giggling when they kept showing the scientists in their cyberpunk chairs and wearing VR headsets. Very 2000s sci-fi vibes (still looks cool, don't get me wrong). When they kept saying "wild one" I was just thinking "hey I heard you were a wild one oooooh~"

-When Jianliang's sister dropped Terriermon on his face I died lol. Why was that so funny? I'm so making a gif later...

-My guy (Takato) really saw a rat infested tunnel and just crawled right through it. I hope you have a good immune system because Jesus...

-The concept of Takato meeting a digimon and then immediately realizing "oh wait, a fire breathing dinosaur IRL is maybe not a good thing" was great. And of course they had to use it as a cliff hanger! I'm wondering if Guilmon will be able to speak or if he'll be more baby-like.

-Guilmon's existence raises many questions. I guess we technically already knew that people can create digimon, we've seen that happen. However, we haven't seen it happen so casually/easily. Does Takato have some sort of special power or can multiple people do this? Also, if Guilmon was born at child level, what happened to the previous 2 levels. Did Takato draw those in his notebook so they're just coded in there?

(My questions are all rhetorical...I shall wait for the show to answer them, so no spoilers please).

[we-keep-odd-hours]

ranting to myself about the Diamondback origin story fic I started in Morning and will go into more in its follow-up

The way I see it there's a few ways she could have been turned: that night, or later. If she was turned later, that would imply some...kind of prolonged hunt or courtship: still, she might not have known exactly what was going on. I just can't see Jesse turning her then and there unless it was an accident: maybe he bit her but she fought back, or said something/reacted in a way that made him stop for a minute?

Either way what did she do that convinced him to keep her???

Part of me loves the idea that she was the violent one; outlaw, bank robber, gang member, serial killer even! And she picked him up as a victim so smoothly he didn't even realize she was hunting too. A moment of "oh she's terrifying."

.....but that's...not exactly the character we get from her, unless she's changed (and I don't think she did: part of un-death in this universe seems to be stagnation, which I'm obsessed with in vampire stories but that's a WHOLE other post). She's not meek exactly--I've seen MULTIPLE film reviewers (pro critics and general horror fans) remark that she and Severen answer to Jesse like dogs. Yikes??? Severen argues with him, Mae talks back to him, and even in the script, where Diamond was definitely subordinate Jesse looked at her before making a final call. But she's...a bit soft.

Her role, according to the director, was keeping the "family" together--compared to Jesse viewing their group as a pack, a clan, and everyone else who wanted a family structure but didn't admit it to themselves, Diamondback was self-aware in her understanding of this as her family!!! She's so soft with Homer? she's wiping blood off his face at the bar! Even if he was as young as his face, he's still too old to have a parent do that; such a ''mom you're embarrassing me'' moment. (I want to study her and Mae under a microscope though because what EVEN is that dynamic--talking to her like I talk to my younger sisters, but she's her husband's favorite kid???)

Train of thought derailment aside, regardless of why Jesse turned her there's still one of two categories her getting turned could have fallen under: willing or unwilling.

Given the premise of the actual movie, that Mae turns Caleb before he knows what she is, and Caleb never really....holds it against her??? and then stays with her??? I....am inclined to think that Diamondback was meant to be a parallel to them? Which is!!!!!! Somehow so much worse!!!!!! Jesse wasn't an impulsive somewhat-new vampire with the brain of teenager, he's been dead for decades in his late 40s, and Diamond is almost half his age! And they're not Mae and Caleb, cutesy in new puppy love, they're damned married. If Diamond didn't get a say in turning vampire then she's living in a hell of a darker story than Caleb is!!!!

BUT STILL... there's two other categories that her getting turned could fall under which venn diagram with the willing/unwilling: either she was into this, or she wasn't. Maybe she didn't get a say, but she's got issues and was immediately into it! That's valid; not healthy maybe, but valid? I guess? I can't really imagine she'd still be alive if she was wholly unwilling and didn't want it; vampires can die very easily and all she would have had to do to escape was open a curtain. Hell, if she wanted she could have killed him that way too.

There could always be a funny option: Jesse intended on killing her when he got into her car/she got out of hers to help him with the flat, but instead of doing something violent, or simply trying to help out....she just came onto him, kinda flirty, and it caught him off guard enough to say 'okay where is this going?'

[side note: if he actually had a flat tire and wasn't hunting at the time, alllllll of this is a lot less dark; he met her because she was the first friendly person to pull over and help. But if he didn't have a flat tire and it was a trap, then holy hell, he's going out of his way to hunt friendly, trusting people. Which is like....there's a lot of subtle hints that the vampires are much more fucked up than we even get to see, and that was definitely one of them]

Anyway. Despite my hatred of children (I'm nice to kids, I'm good with kids, I still never want to be around them and never want my own and never have) Diamond is so Soft with Homer that like....when she turned did she know she wouldn't be able to have kids? Did she lose one before being turned/have kids with a previous partner? The script and director said that she's supposed to be helping Jesse near the end catch Caleb and Sarah, and she doesn't really try to stop him but the actual scene as it was shot reads like she gave the kids a head start.

Would she have let Severen and Jesse eat Sarah, or was she just going to have Severen kill Loy, so Homer could keep the girl? So they could keep the girl? Would she have let Homer kill Sarah if it was what he wanted? She's the one who takes Jesse's hand off the wheel at the end, accepting death now that Homer and Mae are gone (yes Mae survives but one, that didn't make sense, and two, she wouldn't have known).

There's just so many little things about her that make me wince something bad happened to you, didn't it?

[antlerx-art]

GOOD OMENS 2 EPISODE 2 REACTION - CONTAINS SPOILERS‼️

sooo bearded crowley in this episode am I right 😔 yup 2500 BC… HERE HE IS!!! i hate him so much

nah he’s talking about God abandoning him i don’t actually hate him poor fallen angel

WHAT IS AZIRAPHALE DOING

so if this is after the flood crowley had a huge glow down

“I COMMAND THEE, BEGONE!” “no.” he’s so me i’m so him (he has a permit from god??)

“satan and his diabolical ministers may destroy everything Job owns no question asked, hugs kisses, god” AND THE PAPER IS THAT LONG?

CROWLEY’S SO BITCHY

so aziraphale had met muriel before

LONG HAIRED GABRIEL WHY DOES HE LOOK SO?? JUST?? SO WRONG😭

AHH EVE WAS THE FIRST NOT ADAM

“i think they quite like the old ones”

alphabetical order!! FIRST LETTER OF THE FIRST SENTENCE HELP

OH WAIT I GET IT, in the playlists prime video dropped you have to look at the first letter of the lyrics of each song to have the words “ineffable” and “tempting” AND IT’S BECAUSE OF THIS JOKE

“EVERY DAY ITS A-GETTING CLOSER”🎶 lol didn’t jon hamm say he doesn’t sing in an interview

CROWLEY CHANGED CLOTHES THE TURTLENECK DBHDHSJN CROWLEY WITH THE TUTLENECK

theory time: shax says that the miracle could’ve been performed only by the mightiest of archangels and crowley asks her how does she know he didn’t do it, are you telling me crowley was an archangel??

okay they’re both risking to be eliminated now

aziraphale SINGING

NOOOOOSTOPCRYING MAGGIE

HEHEHEHHE SHE’S IN LOVE (“it’s not your job to sort out my doomed love life” because he should think about HIS love life first)

“every record they play eventually turns into that song” you mean like queen songs in the bentley?

“Gabriel.” HEART SKIPPED A BEAT “where is Gabriel.”

wooo saraqael creating wheelchair ramps

“falling in love is what humans do” crying rn

don’t i know you? NO YOU DONT SHUT UP 😁

NAHHH why is heaven watching him again leave aziraphale alone☹️

HERE IT GOEEEEES EVERY DAY🎶🎶🎶🎶

the pub from the picture!!

making them fall in love this is such a fanfiction trope i love it

A SUDDEN RAINSTORM FORCES THEM TOGETHER BENEATH A CANOPY THEY LOOK INTO EACH OTHER’S EYES AND REALIZE THEY WERE MADE FOR EACH OTHER???? OHHHHH I JUST KNOW THATS GONNA HAPPEN TO AZIRAPHALE AND CROWLEY AS WELL

if you’re going to invoke fiction… aziraphale are you about to say jane austen?

HE SAID IT yess i knew they were gonna have the ball for nina and maggie I CANT BELIEVE THIS IS ACTUALLY TRUE?

“PEOPLE WOULD GATHER DO SOME FORMAL DANCING AND REALIZE THEY HAD MISUNDERSTOOD EACH OTHER AND WERE ACTUALLY DEEPLY IN LOVE” okay but can you try to be a little more subtle

a clue!!!😼

“jim tell me what do you know” / “oookay, whaddayaknow” IM ON THE FLOOR STOPSPPP WHY ITS NOT EVEN THAT FUNNY

WOOO PURPLE EYES- is that god’s voice?

ANOTHER FLASHBACK oh no not bearded crowley again… his hair has lost volume

Bildad the Shuhite?? 💀

“i know you” / “you do not know me” AAAAAAAAAAA

NO WAIT THIS IS AFTER THE FLOOD. WHEN CROWLEY SAID “YOU CANT KILL KIDS” IM UNWELL aziraphale does know this is not what crowley wants to do

“I KNOW THE ANGEL YOU WERE” OHH I WAS WRONG HE REMEMBERS HE REMEMBERS HIM

he wants to do it because he was blameless too but he fell anyway. bye i’m about to appear on international news

the goats are back 😭😭😭😭 STOP THIS IS CUTE look at aziraphale’s face

“you can stop grinning” HHEJEHRHEHRH

“DOESN’T MEAN WE’RE ON THE SAME SIDE” AND YEARS LATER CROWLEY IS THE ONE THAT TELLS HIM THEYRE ON THEIR OWN SIDE

“be not afraid” 👁️biblically accurate aziraphale👁️

TY TENNANT!!!! why’s he so gay

AWWWGGGHHH DAVID SAYING HIS SON SEEMS NICE

AZIRAPHALE SHOUTINGBHAHAH “I BRING THE WARNING” that was unexpected

what. just. happened.

aziraphale knew they were safe because crowley wouldn’t actually kill kids 😭

“oooh aren’t you brilliant” giggling kicking my feet

GIRL WHY DID YOU TURN THEM INTO GECKOS

am i about to witness aziraphale’s first time being drunk?

THATS A PARALLEL A DAMN PARALLEL between crowley/nina offering wine and aziraphale/maggie both not drinking

“are you trying to tempt me?” i was wrong this is going to be the first time aziraphale EATS omg HEHEHHHH HES PRECIOUS

lol btw this big thunderstorm is nothing compared to what has happened a few days ago where i live

CROWLEY IS ON HIS OWN SIDE!!!! AND THEN IT BECOMES THEIR SIDE!!!

“see you in hell” shut up???

i love this whole flashback but why does he have to have that beard im sorry i can’t get over it😔

YEP THATS GOD’S VOICE

also i just realized there’s no narrator this time rip

“if you want answers come back when you can make a whale” CROWLEY COULD MAKE STARS AND STILL DIDNT GET THE ANSWERS

“shoemaking and obstetrics” HELPPPP

aziraphale’s in trouble ohhhh he LIED

D’YOU NEED A LIFT SOMEWHERE 🫢

HE ASKED TO USE THE BENTLEY OMG THEIR CAR

crowley is me i’m so jealous of my possessions no matter who you are

aziraphale has a driving license?😨

NOUR! *slaps his hand*

aziraphale being bitchy is my favourite thing

THE SCENEEEEE THE SCENE FROM THE PICTURE IM SO EXCITED

aziraphale is so nervous nooo my little guy HE THINKS HES GOING TO FALL WHATTTT

“IM NOT TAKING YOU TO HELL, ANGEL”

NOOO THIS IS SO HEARTBREAKING STOP. STOP CRYING.

“with your curly little.. and your neat white” MY GODDD

AZIRAPHALE VOICE WHEN HE SAYS “IM A FALLEN ANGEL” I CANT. DO. THIS.

“that sounds um..” / “lonely?” end me right now

BUT THEYRE NOT GOING TO BE LONELY ANYMORE THEY HAVE EACH OTHER THEYRE ON THEIR OWN SIDE

(crowley saying “you’re on your own with this one” in ep1 is even worse to hear now 😍)

MURIEL CLIP NEXT EPISODE YAYY

tagging @neil-gaiman since he said he was interested in reading live reactions

[tsnbrainrot]

now that the three specials are over, i got a bit nostalgic and watched some eps from season 4, but then i just decided to do a whole rewatch of classic rtd.

i just finished the girl in the fireplace, and i know its been said before but wowzers it really is modfat's prototype for the doctor/amy/river era, huh.

i havent watched it since the first time which would have been in 2010, and even then i remember how struck i was by how out of character the doctor felt, and how out of place the episode feels tonally. like when the doctor realized he was stuck in france, its like he completely forgot rose and mickey were trapped on an empty space ship, didnt even spare a thought for them. and they felt like two kids he was babysitting the whole time rather than actual companions.

it made me realize that part of what makes blink and family of blood so good was that the actual doctor was barely present so he didnt have a chance to mischaracterize him lol

oh boy oh boy do i feel all of that anon !!!!!!!!!!

you're right: it's been said to DEATH and by more eloquent people than me, but looking back gitf truly was a giant red flag re: some unbearable m*ffatism (as was the library two parter lbr). which is kind of funny because, despite being a HUGE tenrose girlie, 15/16 yo me looooooved that episode back when i first watched s2. but i feel like with every single rewatch since that first one i get more and more and more annoyed by it. m*ffat hated rose and it really shows etc etc. there are still some elements of it i really enjoy (the monsters kinda fuck and the concept of them trying to fix the ship with human parts is great, as are the whole time window thing. i love when eps blend historical & futuristic. also the soundtrack SLAPS). and i do think as a tenrose supremacist there's a lot of ways to interpret it that REALLY works for their relationship: it's right after the sarah jane ep and the doctor being truly confronted with rose's mortality/having to potentially leave her/lose her like he lost sarah for maybe the first time. (at least the first time as ten??) so him bringing mickey on board and then flirting with someone else to put distance between them/hide from his feelings is something i can work with. and it also works as a condensed echo/parallel of what tenrose's romance MEANS for the doctor; a blink of an eye and she'll be dead. but i dont think that was intentional on m*ffat's part. i'm just doing the heavy lifting.

overall, there's just a bunch of moments where you're kind of going: wtf the doctor wouldn't say/do that ????? even if he wasnt in love with rose (which he IS), he'd CARE that he left her alone. i can buy him leaving to save all those french people cos he wouldn't let innocents suffer.... but he'd be UPSET he lost ROSE and THE TARDIS??? it's bullshit. but then, i hate the way m*ffat writes ten in general (dont get me started on the 50th). and tbh i STILL don't understand why madame de pompadour even ends up falling for the doctor in the first place? it's completely shallow and superficial, like most of m*ffat's romances. it's like he's always trying to write a love at first sight/fairy tale story but he doesn't give it much substance so you're left with something completely hollow. it's emotionally empty.

anyways, he was much better at writing standalone eps than showrunning (imo), but even they haven't aged as well as some others rip.

[karatam]

Read recently (April - Sept 2023)

A Restless Truth by Freya Marske. A sequel to A Marvellous Light, but can be read as a standalone. In a Victorian era world with magic, Maud is on a ship crossing the Atlantic when a fellow passenger is murdered. Maud will team up with a beautiful stranger that kind of turns her world upside down in order to solve the mystery. I loved this book and all the characters involved, and it was a great murder mystery too.

Upright Women Wanted by Sarah Bailey. In a wild west era where all reading material is closely controlled by those in power, Esther stows away with a troupe of travelling Librarians because she needs to escape a marriage to a man who killed the girl she was in love with. Very queer and with lots of gun-slinging and books. A fun quick read.

Godsgrave by Jay Kristoff. Sequel to Nevernight, picks up basically where the previous one ended but also jumps ahead in a parallel narrative. Now involving gladiatorial combat, the tangled politics of the world, and finding out more about the tragic Corvere family. Utterly ridiculous in a fun way, I like this book.

The Fiancée Farce by Alexandria Bellefleur. A queer romance with a fake dating trope. This was very cute, though the romance genre isn't usually my favourite. I wish it had been a liiiittle more slow burn, and they deserved more than just the one sex scene lmao

Station Eternity by Mur Lafferty. Mallory seems to just attract murders all her life (in that they just randomly happen near her) runs away to a remote alien space station to try and make it so humans stop dying in her immediate vicinity. But when she finds out that a whole bunch of humans are incoming to the station, she realizes what's going on it much larger than just her own weird proclivity for finding herself at the scene of the crime. Sci-fi and murder mystery combo that I quite liked, though I felt like her ally Xan was weirdly unsympathetic to like....Mallory's trauma from finding a dozen dead bodies or witnessing murders. A weird book, but I liked it.

Ink Blood Sister Scribe by Emma Torzs. Sisters Joanna and Esther were raised to protect their family's secret library of magical books, but Joanna is left alone to her duty when Esther runs away from home and doesn't return. Nick is the last known person who can write these magical books, and it might be killing him. They're all thrown together when a dangerous book nearly falls into the wrong hands. A standalone novel that creates a very interesting magic system and very likeable characters who all grow and a mystery that kept my attention. Will be looking forward to more from this author.

A Good Girl's Guide To Murder by Holly Jackson. This small town was rocked 5 years ago when the most popular girl at school was murdered by her boyfriend who then killed himself, and her body was never found. Now, Pip is fairly sure he was actually innocent and the real killer was never found. And she's going to prove it as part of her senior capstone project. This is a YA murder mystery done very well. Lots of twists and turns (and lots of me wishing Pip would practice better computer security, but whatever) and I'll be looking for the other books in this series.

Blood of the Chosen by Django Wexler. Picks up a few weeks after Ashes of the Sun, with siblings Maya and Gyre still on opposite sides of the fight. Gyre tries to help another rebellion while Maya is sent off to spy on a potentially traitorous rival of her mentor. Definitely a middle book in a trilogy, but a big big plus this book has over its predecessor is that the very annoying character suddenly became wayyy less annoying and in fact became quite funny. Had some twists I didn't see coming and had me reaching for the final book right away.

Emperor of Ruin by Django Wexler. Picks up right away once again, with Maya and Gyre, uh, running for their goddamn lives? This author writes fight and battle scenes very well and I also liked the amount of research the characters have to do. Love how plot points from the first book circled back to be relevant once again. And once again the queer romance in this series is very sweet, even as the characters are attempting to not die. I really liked this series overall.

Some Desperate Glory by Emily Tesh. How do I even describe this book without giving too much away? Kyr is a soldier in training, one of the last remnants of the human race in the galaxy, after humanity was basically wiped out during a war about 20 years ago. But when her twin brother is assigned a suicide mission and she's assigned to just have babies forever, she strikes out with a hostage alien and her brother's strange friend to try and help keep her brother alive. And along the way, must confront the truth of everything she's ever known. I LOVED this book. Kyr's upbringing has echoes of cults and something like north korea, and she struggles with that throughout the whole book, it's not something tossed away easily once she discovers what's going on. And in her flaws, there's such a humanity, and my heart hurt to see her in pain. Highly recommended.

Killers of the Flower Moon by David Grann. This is non-fiction, which is a bit unusual for me, but wow it's great. This tells the story of the Osage Murders, a series of killings during the 1920s where dozens of members of the Osage Nation were murdered due to their tribe's ownership of oil rights in the region, and then the investigation and cover-ups that went along with them. Leaves you feeling bereft by the sheer volume of injustices committed against the Osage nation (and still, no doubt, being committed to this day). But there are still feelings of hope and kindness and generosity and grace, as this community tries to both protect itself and heal, even as the writer discovers more and more crimes that aren't part of the official tally.