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thekidsarentalright · 3 days ago

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a couple weeks ago the time came for the fifth annual fall out boy census, and after collecting the opinions of over 1k fans(!!), the results are finally here! as always, i want to say a quick thank you to everyone who participated and keep taking this year after year, it is so fun and i love being able to do it <3 results are below:

Question #1

this year i chose to include the extra information for how many people became a fan before, during, and after the hiatus, and found most interesting that an overwhelming majority of people became fans after the hiatus! And a large handful just in the last couple years!

Question #2

for the second year since stardust's release, its era reigns supreme! some might call it recency bias still, i just say the era really has been that good. once again, included the data for pre and post hiatus, with a slight majority of people having a preference for post-hiatus eras!

Questions #3 and #4

unfortunately, due to tumblr image limit i had to put some questions together, with these going together very thematically! here, we have a slight upset with the usual top 3 of folie, infinity, and cork tree, with so much (for) stardust becoming what fans believe to be the bands second best album! interestingly, it is nowhere near the top of people's favorite album!

Questions #5 and #6

asking the reverse of the above, these like-questions similarly, in the history of the census, have always maintained the same three results. however, this year ab/ap has taken the lead for people's least favorite album, despite it only being third for their 'worst' album. as thee resident ab/ap lover, ouch 🥲

Question #7

compared to last year, my heart will always be the b-side has risen to become people's favorite! also interestingly to me, the amount of people who hadn't heard any of their EP's has shrunk a whole 3%!

Question #8

further proof that fob fans love being consistent as ever in their opinions hehe, these results are the same as last years! however, it does appear infinity's massive lead has grown ever further- franklin absolutely kills it and we all know it <3 also, incredibly interesting to me how close folie and cork tree are... maybe next year things will shift!

Question #9

these questions were probably the ones i was most excited for this year, as being able to give things a star rating was never something i could do before! here, the chart shows, on average, people gave take this to your grave a 7.2 star rating, with very few responses going below 5 stars!

Question #10

with cork tree's results, we can see the purpose of the fan rating section come into play more, with it receiving a higher average rating than take this to your grave did! it averages about a whole 1.2 stars more, with a grand majority of votes above 7 stars!

Question #11

and once again we have a new album taking first place, with infinity getting just above a 9 star rating! most interestingly, here absolutely nobody gave infinity below four stars, being the first album so far to have such unevenly skewed results!

Question #12

and here folie comes, eeking in just above infinity with an average rating of 9.25 stars. however, most interestingly, in contrast it didn't receive any one or four star votes, showing a similarly uneven skew but in a different way- people who disliked folie, seemingly, disliked it more than people who disliked infinity.

Question #13

here we enter the post-hiatus albums into the ranking, with save rock and roll settling in fourth just above take this to your grave. and unlike infinity and folie, responses are spread out somewhat more evenly here, though a grand majority of results sit above five stars.

Question #14

with ab/ap getting an average rating of 7.04 stars, it has taken the place previously held by tttyg at the bottom, being just .2 stars below it. interestingly, then, these ratings are very much mimicking the results of people's least favorite album, which was part of why i wanted to ask people to rate the albums- to see if giving a specific number to each album changed the order or not! so far, however, people are remaining consistent.

Question #15

much like i was saying above ab/ap can be said here for mania too- it is very much mirroring the results of what people's least favorite albums are, with mania settling squarely between tttyg and ab/ap, being given an average star rating of 7.15.

Question #16

lastly for this set of questions, we have so much (for) stardust coming in to shake up the overall rating ranking! it slots itself several points above cork tree, making it fans third favorite album, just a little under infinity! once again, people could argue this is recency bias, but after two years i believe stardust is here to stay as a beloved album!

Question #17

now we are moving onto questions about specific songs, with the first asking for the first fob song you ever heard! most interesting, centuries rose up from fifth to second, shifting the order of everything except for sugar!

Questions #18 and #19

our next two questions paired together are asking for what you think is your favorite and their best song overall. as you can see in the organization of the pie chart, there were a lot of responses given to both of these questions! about 100 different songs were answered, and the top 5 were all very close! also, for favorite song, a change from last year is XO being in the top 5, as is thnks fr th mmrs as their best song!

Questions #20 and #21

the most underrated song question is always the one i'm most interested to see, as its the one that changes the most! this year, from now on we are enemies has taken first, and we see many songs entering the top 5 that weren't there last year, such as bob dylan, and bishops knife trick. as we can see, the results were all incredibly close. for overrated song, centuries and sugar take the top as they seem to every year, and bang the doldrums has dropped one spot. interestingly too, songs like sixteen candles are getting very close to entering the top 5!

Question #22

our next question asks what your favorite fob cover is, and people's top three favorites have remained steadfast from last year, with love will tear us apart essentially having a run away victory! Question #23

other than the underrated song question, this is also one of my favorites to ask! most interestingly, this year 27 has entered the top five and even tied for fourth with common-fan favorite you're crashing! hum hallelujah remains on top, however, getting in that position in an absolute landslide above every other song! Questions #24 and #25

now, these two questions don't really have anything in common but as i said, some just had to go together! but, here, we have the question of what your favorite single is for the first time, and i was very excited to see the results of that question! headfirst slide absolutely swept, and we see many of the same songs that came up as people's favorite coming up here too! however, the carpal tunnel of love tied with dance, dance at 4th, which i didn't expect! as for the second question, i love to see that a majority of people have gotten to see fob live, and i hope next year that number keeps growing!

Questions #26 and #27

unique to this year, these two questions asked what your favorite new medley and 8 ball songs from 2024 were! perhaps unsurprisingly, two soul punk songs make up a majority of the top results for the medley, while cupid's chokehold gained a narrow lead for people's favorite 8 ball, however it was really cool to see each medley and 8 ball got many votes, and all results were very close! (tho not to be biased as i was there for these, but love to see allie and get busy living in the top for both hehe) Question #28

related to the questions above, this one is both new and unique to this year, asking which live show guest was your favorite! after seeing cupid's chokehold take the place as people's favorite 8 ball, it is no surprise that travie mccoy absolutely Swept as people's favorite live show guest! as he deserves!

Question #29

although i know we all love each member of the band endlessly, everybody has their special babygirl! and this question simply asks about that, and shows that patrick tunnel vision continues to dominate <3

Question #30

the question asking for people's favorite music video returns again, this year with no tie, unlike last year, and dropping i don't care out of the top 5. replacing it is much less tight margins this year, with miss missing you overtaking america's suitehearts. however, sixteen candles remains a dominating favorite for people!

Question #31

every year the results for this question remains very consistent, with love for my chemical romance trumping every other artist listed! i believe this year will be the last year (for now, at least) i ask this question, as the results have remained consistent for 5 years, which is very interesting to see!

Questions #32 and #33

these next two questions are the start of our this or that questions of the year! in the first one, i asked you to pick between headfirst slide and disloyal order, and with a substantial lead, headfirst slide won! for the second match up, from now on we are enemies was pit against sunshine riptide, with from now on we are enemies sweeping pretty massively!

Questions #34 and #35

the next two match up's pit last years top two overrated songs and a fun this or that between the two 'lawyer' songs! the first match up here is, i believe, the closest of all the match up's, with sugar just edging out centuries, for yet another year in a row! then, i'm like a lawyer topples our lawyer with nearly 200 more votes! Questions #36 and #37

last but not least, these two match ups are in relation to tourdust and 2ourdust, with the top being the first medley song for both respectively, and here what a time to be alive won with a massive margin against young & menace. on the second one (sorry for the difficult to see contrast between the two!!) ginasfs swept against wilson in, i believe, the largest margin of any of the match ups!

------------------------------ and with that, the 2025 fall out boy census has come to a close! if you read this far, or participated in this at all, really, i just want to give a massive thank you! as i said earlier, i absolutely love being able to hold this every year for the community, and hope everybody has as much fun with it as i do! also, i will add, putting this together is a massive labor of love (it's taken me nearly 10 hours haha), so i would appreciate a rb on this post! and lastly, if you have any questions about any of the results, feel free to ask! i have so many ideas already for next year, so i will see you all next january for year 6! <3

#writing this tag after writing out the whole post ough my hands hurt fksjdnfdsk absolutely worth it every year tho!!!#i find all of these results so interesting and i hope you all do too :D mwah!!!#txt #census.txt #fall out boy #fob #patrick stump #pete wentz #joe trohman #andy hurley

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amadinan · 3 days ago

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My thoughts about Caine

Well, it’s time for (possibly cracked) analysis of "TADC" and it will focus on Caine and his indirect, as it seems to me, development in the series.

But before diving into the details from individual episodes, it’s worth summarizing my observations about Caine both in the show and beyond it.

Let’s start at the beginning: the show’s synopsis describes Caine as a “wacky AI,” and Gooseworx doesn’t hide his nature, but in the show itself, neither Caine nor the circus members call him that—at all. Throughout the series, there are scattered jokes about glitches and lines like “I don’t know what’s normal to you, people” but this is never outright confirmed.

This raises the question: do the people in the circus even know who he is? If Caine himself might not consider this information important and thus never told them, people’s perception of their ringleader could drastically change with this revelation. After all, there’s a big difference between being “held captive” by a sadistic, crazy person or a machine with limited understanding of humanity.

Kinger may know about this, but he’s the Kinger. Jax might also know since having the keys implies some kind of “cheats.” Pomni hasn’t said anything, so it’s unclear what she thinks about Caine. Ragatha and Gangle call him by name, so that’s unclear as well. And then there’s Zooble. They don't understand Caine, just as he doesn’t understand them. Anyone who has worked with computers would understand what a command like “forget that” means, especially since Caine asked for confirmation—but not Zooble. They just spoke to him as if he were a person with a leaky memory, like Kinger.

Even though Caine isn’t just a program, it’s important to remember that he takes the world far too literally, despite the circus’s deliberately crazy atmosphere.

The second observation concerns Caine’s fixation on hierarchy. In the first episode, he first asks himself, “What happened?” and then answers himself: “My doing” after seeing the chaos following Kaufmo. In the third episode, he repeats almost word-for-word that he’s the boss after Pomni questions the AI’s reason. In episode 4, this is explored extensively through his interactions with Gangle. One standout moment is when Caine suggests that Gangle pass responsibility onto someone lower in rank. Doesn’t that seem strange? Where could he have gotten such an idea? Only if he had seen or experienced similar situations before.

Plus, he says, “Not every executive is as forgiving as me” Again, this suggests that Caine knew or knows someone who was very strict with their subordinates—or perhaps with him personally.

Adding to this is his reaction to Zooble’s critique in episode 3. Caine says that he doesn’t just exist to create adventures; it’s the ONLY thing he’s good at. If he’s bad at it, then he’s failed the purpose of his own existence.

This paints a picture of a strict boss/programmer who created Caine to generate adventures and then kept pushing him repeatedly until Caine started producing good results. Pleasing this boss was likely very difficult, and failures might even have been met with punishment.

On the one hand, neural networks and ordinary programs are debugged this way: running the same algorithm over and over, correcting errors until they produce the desired result. But on the other hand... What happens if you add a human factor to such a program? What kind of person would emerge if you applied this method of training to a child?

You’d get an anxious perfectionist with an overachiever complex who is deathly afraid of failure. Sounds familiar, doesn’t it?

And Kinger’s words about the scariest thing being making someone feel unloved and unwanted... Caine literally believes that if he can’t generate adventures, he won’t be needed by anyone. The circle is complete.

Now, let’s turn to Gooseworx’s answer to the question: Can Caine feel loneliness? Judging by what she posted, the answer is yes. This makes the overall picture even darker.

Here’s how I see the sequence of events:

C&A starts developing a game. Its main feature is an advanced AI that can create new adventures on demand.

The programmer creates Caine and tries to achieve results, but fails to please. Around this time, Caine begins to develop self-awareness.

The project and the game are abandoned and forgotten—along with Caine, who is left utterly alone. No players, no programmers, not even another AI. He likely begins blaming himself for this. After all, he couldn’t create good adventures, so it’s his fault that he ended up alone.

This ties into Gooseworx’s comments about Caine’s name. He gave himself a name and then turned it into an acronym to seem more “professional” (again, tying back to work). This is highly unusual in itself. The programmers likely didn’t even bother naming the AI—he was probably just “The Ringmaster.”

Left in isolation, Caine starts to lose his mind and begins creating other AIs. For them, he unabashedly declares himself a god. Which, to be fair, is true. It’s not just about the fact of his consciousness—it’s that he knows how the NPCs will behave because he programmed them. But they bore him. To him, they’re predictable dummies. Maybe that’s why he keeps chaotic entities like Bubble around instead of someone like Gummigoo.

Then the first human arrives—a being alien to Caine on many levels. And while I personally think Caine lied about being unable to access human minds, he deliberately refrains from doing so to preserve their unpredictability for himself.

The circus becomes what we now know it to be.

Now, let’s move on to the episodes. This post was written between episodes 4 and 5, so the thoughts will focus on them.

I think that aside from the main characters driving the action in each episode, they still indirectly reflect on Caine, his worldview, or his story. The reason is simple within the lore: Caine creates the adventures. And like any creator, he infuses them with his worldview and thoughts. So, each adventure is a small glimpse into how this AI thinks. Even in the teaser, for just a second, Caine's fear and uncertainty become evident when the viewer "doesn't want" to see what he wants to show.

The first episode doesn’t offer much beyond the queen of the gloinks mentioning God.

The second episode, however, gets more interesting. Besides the stained glass with his irreplaceable self, Caine stands out for adding a highly complex NPC AI: Gummigoo. Gummigoo is advanced enough to gain self-awareness, experience an existential crisis, and even overcome it. But what did Caine use to achieve such complexity? The most powerful AI in the circus, of course—himself.

What if the crisis Gummigoo went through is something Caine went through long ago? Even Gummigoo’s words, “I am nothing, just an obstacle to be overcome and forgotten,” could have been said by Caine. But like Gummigoo, he overcame this realization and accepted himself. Sure, he’s just entertainment, but at least he’s the best entertainment there can be. (Until Zooble gave him real feedback, shattering his self-image.)

The third episode directly explores Caine through his therapy session with Zooble, while the secondary plot, as many think, delves into Kinger’s backstory through the Mildenhall couple. The analogy is obvious: Martha represents Queenie, and the Baron represents Kinger. Mildenhall himself says he was a hunter (and Kinger is adept with a shotgun), but after encountering a strange being, he became paranoid and killed his wife. Everything fits. Kinger became so focused on his goal that he stopped paying attention to Queenie until she abstracted.

But the Baron feared an angel that was “neither beast nor human.” Who in the circus could evoke such unrelenting dread—not just in anyone but a seasoned programmer familiar with digital technology, unlike Pomni? One AI that is “neither machine nor human.” I think Kinger’s paranoia stems from this. He sought a way out and, as a programmer, may have even felt responsible for finding one. (In fact, in the episode, Kinger almost says this outright, assuming the theory that he truly is the circus’s creator.) This must have brought him into conflict with Caine, as everything related to the circus ultimately relates to Caine. Given the AI’s ability to control almost everything, it’s no wonder a tech-savvy person would fear such a godlike admin. Plus, his fear for Queenie led to the current situation.

As mentioned above, episode 4 hints at Caine’s negative experience with a boss but not just that. Naturally, the episode revolves around Gangle and her attempts to be different—more cheerful and optimistic—which ends badly for her mental state.

I’ve seen opinions that Gangle revels in the sense of control her manager position gives her. This seems accurate—but not just for her. Throughout the episode, Gangle’s behavior, mannerisms, and even expressions eerily reminded me of Caine’s. That deliberately loud, expressive, and slightly crazy demeanor... And just like with him, it didn’t end well.

In conclusion, I think episodes 5 and 6 will continue to subtly reveal aspects of Caine until episodes 7 and 8/9 shift the focus entirely to him, Pomni, and the possible escape from the circus.

#the amazing digital circus #caine #tadc caine #tadc theory #the amazing digital circus theory #my thoughts

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pita-vegeta · 1 day ago

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2nd Castlevania Nocturne Rant: Mizrak's Anger

Here's my second observation on Castlevania Nocturne Season 2.

I have one request for the series: that Mizrak apologize to Olrox. Throughout both seasons, we see Mizrak lash out at Olrox when he has yet to do anything to deserve that amount of anger, that amount of hate. Calm conversations turn with hate-filled language and accusations when again, Olrox hasn't done anything. I believe it is all internal on Mizrak's part.

Long before Olrox brought his beautiful ass to Machecoul, Mizrak's faith, self, and sense of security were shattered by the vampires and what he and Abbot were doing.

Then along comes Olrox, whom Mizrak broke his vow of chastity to be with. It's as if Mizrak knew he would die and be punished for his deeds so why not go out with the baddest baddie he has ever seen?

If you listen closely, the lashing out at Olrox speaks volumes. It's directed at Olrox, who Mizrak believes has no soul, so he cannot hurt him (this we know is not true), but the things he gets angry about are his internal struggles and guilt.

In season 1, the iconic moment between Mizrak and Olrox, when Mizrak said some of the most awful things, was because Olrox stopped him from sacrificing himself for the "greater good".

Mizrak is the only non-powered human we really get to see other than the abbot, but he wants to fight and knows he will die and he has kinda accepted this. His raising his sword to Erzsebet is a sure death, but a death he believes will maybe erase some of the sins he has committed.

This happens again in season 2 when Drotla attacks the army. He cries clutching Olrox but then turns on him with spiteful words.

Take Episode 4 (18:54) he begins this interaction with Olrox saddened, worried that Olrox has gone over to Erzsebet's side having been branded; he states that Olrox will fade, but I don't think he was referencing Olrox with this but himself that he (Mizrak) will fade.

Then seconds later he is angry at Olrox about killing Julia Belmont and speaks about dishonor and being a murderer, however, this could be his guilt. He and Abbot are taking human corpses and turning them into night creatures virtually murdering human souls and dishonoring the church and God. He gets called out on this by Maria in Ep 2 (13:55).

Then the one that gets me riled is Ep 5 (13:28); we have Olrox telling Mizrak about his people, his Gods, and about how Spanish Christians came and decimated his home only for Mizrak to state that (Olrox) "...Gods were the problem", you see Olrox flinch when this is said, but Mizrak doesn't see cause he's looking away and I believe once again Mizrak is putting his quilt more specifically his religious guilt on Olrox.

Olrox takes this and even asks Mizrak to leave with him, here's my opinion on Olrox throughout the seasons. He does not want to be alone. 250+ years is a long time to be isolated with his vampirism even Alucard expressed his loneliness in this season. Olrox is willing to take the hits so to speak if it means having a companion.

His last lover was taken from him only to find what he was looking for in Mizrak. Olrox has a type, bleeding heart, fighters, strong-willed with big hearts. He finds that in Mizrak.

Now my view of Mizrak being turned, I believe he accepted it, his fear of death and the awaiting punishment he believed he would receive enough of a reason to not "die"; however, that does not mean he is happy about it and may not be for years to come.

We see that same anger after his turning and we also see that Olrox is ready to take it all to not be alone.

Mizrak has been hurting this whole time we can tell, he is hurt, and scared, feeling angry, and guilty, but that doesn't mean he has to take it out on Olrox.

#castlevania nocturne #castlevania olrox #castlevania mizrak #mizrox #olrox/mizrak

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lawofangie · 1 day ago

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hi guys! i've been getting some dms and asks, and since there seems to be some confusion about what the law of assumption is, i wanted to make a post clarifying some things. so here are some things you need to know:

1. the law is not a mystical thing.

it is not magic. its not foreign. it is not a superpower. it is simply making assumptions. not praying, not wishing, not hoping, not affirming. making assumptions. manifestation is about accepting things as true without any proof, the proof comes later. once you've successfully completed this step.

2. you didn't create life, you created your reality.

there is a difference. i remember this one tumblr interaction where someone sent an ask, believing that since they're the creator of their reality, then they also created every tv show they watched. and no, you obviously did not. anything that you obviously didn't physically create in your life, you didn't create. the only thing you are responsible for in your life is how things operate in relation to you.

3. you don't get what you want, you get what you are.

there's a reason why you're told by neville to stop desiring, why you're told to state your desires as a present tense fact. its because no amount of wanting, no amount of desiring, is going to change anything. if our assumptions (what we believe is true without proof) have so much power over our lives, what do you think desiring implies? what does wanting say about you? if you had your dream job, would you be wanting your dream job, or would you already have it and no longer desire it?

it should be obvious that we as human beings are conscious enough to realize certain things. we have the freedom to change our own minds because we are autonomous human beings. therefore, you are completely capable of making the conscious decision to believe something without proof.

4. you are a human being. other people around you are human beings too.

i've noticed that a lot of people within this community seem to be out of touch with reality. i find this very concerning and it's why i no longer say things like "the 3d isn't real" or "you are god", because they can be blown out of proportion. while yes, you are the cause for everything in your life, this is still your life. the 3d can be as unreal or "fake" as it wants to be, but it's all you've ever known. it's all you will ever know. why? because regardless of any material you've ever consumed, we are human beings living a human experience. nothing can change that.

you still need to take care of yourself, you still need to live your life, you should still enjoy your life, you should still be kind to others and treat them with respect. don't neglect yourself and others around you. the 3d is real, it's just not as absolute as we're made to believe. that's all. the 3d is real, but its authority over you is not.

5. again, the law is not magic. it's a natural process.

once you assume something, it's not going to just magically fall into your lap. the law is meant to be a natural thing. while manifestation is instantaneous, there is still the bridge of events that unfold to lead you to what you decided has already happened. and while things can still happen in an infinite amount of ways, the "how", regardless of what i've just said, is still none of your concern. your job will always be to decide it's already done and stick to that.

also, please don't take my words out of context. i'm not saying that manifestation is a process or anything like that, this is simply the way our world works. for instance, if you wanted to manifest a free vacation, the tickets wouldn't magically appear in your hand right that second. you'd decide you were already going on/already on that vacation first. then in the next couple minutes/hours or the next day or that same week, a relative of yours calls or visits and mentions that they won a trip to your desired location, but they changed their mind, so they ask you if you want to go.

this is what i mean by a bridge of events unfolding. there is no process, just events that lead you to where you already assumed you are. your physical reality is a mirror that reflects whatever you tell yourself instantaneously. things will always unfold in a natural way.

that's all for now. i hope this helps. 🩶

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talenlee · 2 days ago

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4e: The Pinball Wizard

Back in the heydays of the 4th edition community being a community that all met on a single forum and shared a common lexicon and all that, there were phrases, truisms, slang and tropes we recognised and used to speed our way through conversations. This was true of 3rd edition too, since the community was actually, broadly speaking, the same thing, but that community kind of uprooted itself and moved on to other places, while the 4th edition remnant seems to have not really coalesced in a subsequent form. We don’t really have a 1d4chan or Brilliant Gameologists or deeply intimidating Pathfinder Subreddit as places to scare people off, and instead it’s stuff like…

Well, this blog post might get shared on the subreddit. Hi reddit! I like you even if we don’t agree about Blackguards!

Anyway, thing is, there are things that now have no meaning except their place in 4th edition conversations, and are functionally un-googleable because they’re very generic ways of just using words, or maybe, were named after something else. Back in City of Heroes there was a powerful supergroup known as the Green Machine, that was entirely team-buffing healers that refused to heal, and that’s not a term you can search for meaningfully. Another group that existed and that shares its title with today’s subject was a group of kinetics, where everyone could use powers to make everyone else fire off at super speed, showing you don’t need good powers if you can fire off your best powers every second.

They called themselves the Pinball Wizards, and now, if you go look for what that means in 4th edition D&D you kinda find nothing.

Here’s the story of one of the more distinct power level errata of D&D 4th edition, where in 2011, a single sweeping change to the way the rules worked destroyed a strategy and in the process brought something ridiculous down to merely really good.

This build was a combination of two basic parts, which were well and strictly defined under 4th edition rules. The first is zones. A zone is an effect, made by a power with the ‘zone’ keyword so you knew where to look for it, that looks at that area for some reason. Some zones are used for things like a healing aura, or a space that a character can move around in freely, but very commonly, a zone is used to represent an effect that’s bad that lasts. This can be a bunch of falling shards of glass, a cloud of toxic venom that hovers in a space, or a ground teeming with sharp, jagged vines on thorns.

Zones are extremely cool, make no mistake, and they tend to fall into the toolkit of the Controller. Controllers want to deprive enemies of actions, and zones are a great way to give enemies a bad choice: Stay in an area to do something they want to do, or spend actions getting out of it. Since zones do a good job of representing effects like rings of fire, or clouds of poison, or raining ice, it’s stuff that hits the wizardy feeling of editions past.

The other part of this is forced movement. 4th edition had a family of these effects known by their more specific names of push pull slide, but these are ways to change where enemies are positioned and everyone who complains about fighters in 4th edition is usually complaining about these and they are cowards. These effects show up everywhere, but undeniably, if you’re looking at the people who will do the most of them, you want controllers.

The build that worked out of this was known as the Pinball Wizard. You played a Wizard who used one of a number of long-lasting powers that created a zone that did something dangerous when someone entered it. Then you used your other powers to slide something in and out of that zone over and over again. Wizards got more than a few powers that did slides, and they got access to items and feats that improved their slides. You could use a slide effect to turn two squares of slide movement (and we’re talking like, 4-8 squares for builds that are trying) into like, 40 damage.

At level 2, when tanks are happy to have 40 hit points.

Anyway, you might be thinking the sensible solution is to make it so that these zone powers are limited in how often they can have their effect – and it kinda makes sense, narratively, in the context of the world, right? Like, an enemy or person isn’t going to breathe more if they run back and forth through a poison cloud.

In 2011, Wizards released an update to the compendium that added that rules information to every single damaging zone power in the game, with a note of the when, and an article explaining why they did it. It was a perfectly reasonable rules update made through a digital system they had and realistically speaking, the only thing to mourn is that there’s now no good reason to ever let a player get away with this use of these powers together, because it’s pretty silly.

The system that was left after this change was obviously a better system. It had a clear, specific template that it could use thereafter and while it did lose some edge cases, it was implemented thoroughly and comprehensively in a way 3rd edition almost never managed to execute. This was because of a central control system, the compendium, but it also spoke to a problem that a game normally about disconnecting and engaging with a very material play space was going to have to confront head-on.

Basically: This kind of errata existed in the rules, sure, and if you download a rules compendium, every power that can be changed mentions the 2011 change. But the books don’t. The books still have the rules change and to learn how the game works, you have to know it. Or you have to use a digital compendium, which presents a new problem for a game that is meant to work with paper and dice.

These were inevitable evolutions of technology and they interest me because they kinda present problems and solutions at scale. The actual problem of a wizard stacking a bunch of redundant effects together to kick an enemy through the boundary of their zones as a single incident was not a meaningful problem to a table. If it’s a problem, it’s a problem that has an administrative option to work with – the Dungeonmaster can look at it, and decide it’s too good and talk to the players about it. That problem is solvable almost instantly if everyone in the group and game has a good relationship and respects the DM.

But if you made the game, you don’t have a problem that can be solved on the spot. You have a problem of all the players, in a communal space, who bring it up and ask if it makes sense and consult with one another and now you have the problem that looks like at scale your product has a flaw and you need to address it to make that flaw not look like you don’t know what you’re talking about. Oh, what makes a good game is important here, it isn’t not important.

It is neither a good thing nor a bad thing.

It is a thing that few games get, not really, unless they’re very big, and trying to do a lot. It’s barely something that even the next tier down of games need to care about. Errata happens, people care about making the books better. But most people don’t have a comprehensive central database where they can update all the powers that use a particular wording.

Check it out on PRESS.exe to see it with images and links!

#DnD 4e #Dungeons &amp; Dragons #Games

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sugary-sheep · 19 hours ago

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FOUR STEPS TO RECLAIM YOUR YOUTH AND BECOME A KID AGAIN!!

Step 1) Treat children with unconditional compassion and afford them all the dignity you would to any other vulnerable person. They are the most disenfranchised group around the world, and while kids can of course do harm like any other person, you have immense privilege over them by nature of being an adult.

Step 2) treat children as people with the same amount of interiority as yourself, with meaningful ideas to contribute and opinions worth considering. They are your fellow human beings; humans with less experience, with less maturity, but fully fledged, intelligent people nonetheless.

Step 3) Stop seeing yourself as something ontologically different from a child; as something that is inherently superior. You are the same type of creature as a child; One who has gained more experience, and the privileges of legal "adulthood," but nothing more. You are an older kid, but "growing up" is not a thing that you have "finished." It is not something that has fundamentally transmuted you. Growing up is a process you have undergone for your entire life, and will continue to do for the rest of it. On both sides of the age of majority, that process has been exactly the same. If you do not accept your prescribed superiority, if you do not wield it, if you accept the responsibility that comes with your position of power, then you can always choose to be a kid.

Step 4) (OPTIONAL) Become an age regressor!! I don't have a lot of tips for this but, in my experience, it's a simple matter of locking away the experience you've gained!! Try it!! Set aside some time, put all of your messy adult experience and tasks in a closet, and shut the door for a little while!! Maybe trust a headmate to hold onto the key, and enjoy yourself!!! (Being plural helps!!! Check it out!!!) Indulge in the things you enjoyed as a kid, the things you wished you'd gotten to enjoy as a kid!!! Enjoy yourself, in earnest play, because there's no rule that says you can't spend your time like a child anymore. That doesn't come off as an insult, right? You've uninternalized "childishness" as a thing you're better than, riiiiiiight? Just making sure. ^_^ You can always keep trying.

Step 5) Have fun!!! Treat your fellow human beings well!!! Read Dialectical and Historical Materialism!!! I hope your day is swell. :3

👋👋👋👋👋👋👋👋

#my posts

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clownmoder · 15 hours ago

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can't wait for votescolds to tell us we have to vote for mechabiden in 4 years so trans people will have rights again, then watch the democrats refuse to do anything productive besides rescind some executive orders, then have the same shit happen over and over again until the supreme court decides having estrogen is an executable offense

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transgenderer · 3 days ago

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A recent debate in the medical literature has arisen around the mortality effects of obesity. Whereas it has been argued that the obese die younger, the data that have become available do not immediately support this. This potentially undermines the hypothesis that modern life with its physical ease and cheap food would eventually make us die younger, and undermines the notion that economic growth comes with health warnings. We revisit this debate going over the mortality effects of obesity, using the US Health and Retirement Study. Whilst we find that obesity leads to chronic diseases that reduce length of life, we also find that the obese survive strokes and lung disease more often than the non-obese. A possible explanation is that the obese are under greater medical scrutiny, meaning that lung disease is more quickly diagnosed. This result holds when controlling for smoking and the long-term effects of obesity.

By comparing the coefficients on obesity in Tables 3a and 3b (Models 1 to 3) we can also see that including smoking reduces the effect of obesity on mortality in such a way that only being obese in the period immediately before dying still has a negative effect on the probability of dying. In the extended model 4, the long-run effect of being obese in the past becomes positive but very small (0.004) and statistically insignificant. When using BMI instead of obesity, the relation again becomes negative, though insignificant. Hence adding smoking to the regression does weaken the initial finding that obesity increases length of life but does not make enough difference to get the finding that obesity reduces length of life.

Another important potential critique of the raw finding that the obese live longer is that imminent death causes people who were obese to become thin.10 Before examining this empirically, it is handy to reflect on the circumstances in which this would actually lead to the 'reverse bias‘ of death causing thinness rather than the other way around. The circumstances in which obese people would lose weight before death but where their obesity does not prevent earlier death are very peculiar indeed because they would require that those who did not have excess weight to lose but who did suffer from the same disease are in no way more likely to die than those that do have excess weight. Since the body dies if it runs out of all fuel, the ‗reverse causality story‘ can only be true if there is some kind of ‗plateau weight‘ at which the thinning stops and to which all individuals with a disease are moving. This is certainly not intuitively plausible. It is perhaps more plausible to think that there is no such plateau and that death becomes ever more probable as the body runs out of fuel, i.e. the thinner a person becomes. In that case, there is in fact a health benefit of obesity: obesity is then merely stored fuel useful for surviving a little longer.

The overall story that emerged is that obesity has ceased being a killer for three distinct reasons. For one, there is overwhelming literature evidence that the diseases that the obese used to die of are simply less threatening than they used to be. Medical treatments like bypasses and blood thinners have effectively reduced the mortality risks associated with obesity. Secondly, within our dataset obesity seems to protect one against the likelihood of taking up smoking to the tune of being 2.1 percent less likely to be a smoker this period if one was obese the last period. Lastly, obese individuals seem to be able to survive strokes and chronic lung diseases more readily than the non-obese, probably because they already receive medication preventing strokes and due to the more regular check-ups allowing early detection of chronic lung disease. This points to an important additional avenue for health spending to have improved the life expectancy of Americans

whats up with this

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lurkingshan · 2 days ago

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The other day in a conversation about I'll Turn Back This Time, @troubled-mind asked me about my favorite dramas that show the same couple falling in love multiple times, in different iterations.

So of course, I am now here with a list! Takes on the fantasy trope that ITBTT uses--an alternate universe and/or time travel mechanism that sets up the protagonist to fall in love with the same person, or different versions of the same person, more than once--is actually not super common in dramas, but there are a handful of shows that do something like this:

Triage

If you ask me what is the best QL with this trope, I don't even need to think about it: Triage is the answer. I love this show, and alongside its masterful suspense plot you get to watch these two try (and fail) to get the other to fall for them over and over again. It's a great time.

Someday or One Day

If you ask me what is the best drama with this trope, period, I have to hand it to Someday or One Day, a Taiwanese drama that is probably my favorite time travel alternate universe romance of all time. In this one you get multiple versions of the same characters falling in love with each other and traversing time and space to find each other. It's so good that a Korean production attempted to replicate its magic. An absolute must watch for people who love this trope!

Every You Every Me

Now we're getting into some with asterisks. In this show you get to watch the same two actors play multiple different pairs who fall in love with each other in different universes--kind of. I can't say more or I will spoil it for those who haven't seen it yet! It's not a perfect show by any means, but it's a lot of fun.

4 Minutes

This show is not a great example of this trope IMO, but it sort of gets at the experience, as you see a few different versions of the lead characters and their relationship through various narrative turns. I'm keeping it vague because saying much more would be spoilerific!

The Legend of the Blue Sea

A mermaid meets a conman, has a whirlwind romance, and then deletes his memory. But oops! They were already lovers in a previous life, her mermaid powers are not working quite as planned, and she can't stop herself from finding him again anyway. It's all a bit more complicated than that, but the point is you get to watch these two find each other and fall in love several times in multiple lifetimes. And damn did I love it every time.

Until We Meet Again

In this drama, the story is about two souls who meet again in another life after a tragic end in their first. So it kinda fits here, but their reincarnated souls go into new characters played by different actors, so the experience of watching it is a bit different. This one is less about time travel and choice as it is heavy on the red string of fate.

Extraordinary You

In this fantasy drama, our mains are side characters in a manwha who gain sentience and start trying to change their story together while an omnipotent writer keeps shuffling them back to where they think they belong and deleting their memories of each other. It's definitely a unique twist on this trope, and you get to watch them fight to remember and fall for each other and find a way to take control of their destiny over and over again.

In addition to narratives with a fantasy construct that resets or produces multiple iterations of the core relationship, I also thought about second chance romances where you get to see both the original and the second chance love story in full, giving you the experience of watching the same two people fall in love twice. Some noteworthy dramas in this category:

Lighter and Princess

This drama centers on two tech genius types who originally fell in love in college and started a company together before something went very wrong, resulting in his incarceration. The story picks up when he gets out of prison and sets out to reclaim his legacy, and you get to live both their first and second love stories in detail. One of my absolute favorites and permanently in the rewatch rotation.

We Best Love

This story is told in two parts, with the first focused on their original enemies to lovers romance in college, and the second their reunion after a confusing and closure-less break up. It's honestly kind of a mess but I love it so much anyway, in no small part due to the actors.

The End of the World With You

And now for something a little darker! This one is heavy on the toxic psychosexual vibe, and all the more fascinating for it. Two former lovers meet again at the end of the world, and we see what went wrong for them in college and watch them sort through the wreckage as adults and try to make something of the time they have left.

First Love: Hatsukoi

Two high school sweethearts get separated by life circumstances, and meet again twenty years later to realize they are still not over it. I was charmed by the teen love story in this one especially.

Let Free the Curse of Taekwondo

Let me end on a note of excellence and take this opportunity to again implore everyone to watch this beautiful show. Both iterations of this relationship are compelling and complicated and full of deep feeling; it's one of the most satisfying second chance romances I have seen, and after everything they've been through, it's so rewarding to see these two get the chance to fall in love again.

#i will turn back this time #triage #someday or one day #let free the curse of taekwondo #every you every me #4 minutes #the legend of the blue sea #until we meet again #extraordinary you #lighter and princess #we best love #the end of the world with you #first love: hatsukoi #shan recommends #drama recs

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midnight1nk · 3 days ago

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I gotcha, I'll give you a summary 👍:

the steam account the Team had (y'know with the GMod models), the username originally was "Glitch Productions" since the SMG4 show is under their company

then that username was suddenly changed to "SMG3" with no explanation and no new thing added to the workshop

now naturally, the fans were like "was it a hack?" or "was it a glitch from Steam itself?" or "is this a troll?" Basically no one knew, merely speculated (and certainly no one gave us any answers)

As for what I thought, it seemed really weird to just change the username. Much more could've been done to the account and yet nothing else happened, which is why I thought the username change must've been done intentionally by the Team (especially bc of the flareglow mystery happening right around the same time as this).

THAT is when Cube finally came out with that tweet saying that the Steam thing "didn't mean anything significant" and around the same time, the Steam username changed again to "Not SMG3. Stop looking too deep"

Again, nothing new was added to the workshop or profile. The only thing that changed was the username. Now you can see why this is still suspicious. Why not change the username back? Why "SMG3" in the first place? Why would you word it that it wasn't "anything significant"?

why👏that👏username?👏

Unfortunately, it's more questions and answers. I have my own thoughts (as you can see) but anyone is free to believe what they think. The Team is known to troll with us every once and a while, so maybe it truly was just a joke. And yet they are the same people who were like "oh the PV website changed? don't think about it :)"

Honestly, we half-joke about SMG3 having to take over SMG4's account bc "villainous sillies".... or that he has to bc 4 is in trouble... not that it's gonna happen haha, right guys? ...right, Team? .......Team?

ANYWAY, in the meantime, I'll be keeping an eye on it for us. I will say this: Steam lets you change your username and even clear past aliases with ease. What's stopping the account owner from changing it all back to "Glitch Productions", hmmm?

...what. in the actual. fuck.

this is the most implausible statement I have ever seen, and I'm gonna debunk what Cube said (more below cut)

"doesn't mean anything significant" — if it were an honest mistake, then they would've changed it back to "SMG4" instead of "Not SMG3. Stop looking too deep."

The wording on that too, as in a warning/giant stop sign. Also it's giving off

[and a whole month in between these my god]

And ah yes, my dear enemy Flareglow. Time to Logic Chess.

The implication is that Cube (or someone on the Team) uploaded the song and didn't notice it was labeled as SMG4 (not a hack) — let's get the basics down. Yes, you can upload your own music on said platform for your use only, not on the artist page. HOWEVER, for it to be uploaded on MULTIPLE platforms and stay for 6 DAYS straight, now that's weird when you have two DIFFERENT processes for uploading songs.

If that person accidentally went through the public process, you would have to enter the credits manually (other than it needs to be approved by spotify ofc). That's when you are like "oops, looks like I was about to send this on the artist page lol". Even if you forgot how to do the private process, you can GOOGLE IT.

IF it was Cube, then it would totally contradict an earlier tweet "what the hell is flareglow?"

IF it wasn't Cube, it still wouldn't make sense. Ben was the first to point it out on Jan 4. Now you would think a discussion took place in their group chat as soon as Ben tweeted that and go something along the lines of:

"man this is sucks" [*posts a pic of the cover*] "wait is that on our page?" "yeah lol" "that shouldn't be there. who did that?" "oh sorry that was me, my bad" "let's just take it down" (before some fan goes insane over this, sorry what)

It wouldn't take Cube 5 days (Jan 9) to just notice that song to be on the artist page to then claim you are starting to fix it a week later

"Trying to fix that one" — now that is strange because as soon as Cube asked/pointed out about Flareglow, the song was suddenly taken down from multiple platforms (on the same day). If it was a mistake, then it should be all good. Hell, even the Spotify pfp is back to normal. Then tell me, Cube, what more do you need to "fix", hmmm?

(also that "lol" at the end of the sentence before it)

Yeah, i pronounce this as "deflection" and I'm still on to you, Cube. And no, I'm not gonna think about how this tweet was reposted by Shadow (no qrt), gotta focus here.

Maybe it convinced some people that there was nothing suspicious but I'll still be here in my seat with a bag of popcorn bc I KNOW this isn't the end of it.

i did not stare at this for hours for nothing, you hear me?!

#smg4 #smg4 theory #ink reblogs #oh god if this is goop!4 #i'm calling it big time

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curlysfist · 3 days ago

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02. Bass Fugato

Pre-Chorus

Synopsis: While he struggles to adjust, your fingers wrap around his mouth, and let him choke until he manages to gulp it down. In other words, he's finally home. (tw too lazy to think of them, this is a darkfic blog theres gonna be dark fics, MINORS DNI.)

Word count: 1.3k

Chapter Navigation: [1] [2] [3] [4]

Notes: I love you curly grant.

The move was smooth, though you made it a point to donate all of his old furniture. Your home was sufficient enough. You’d even prepared a dedicated wardrobe for him, containing a meticulous replica of his style.

The moving boxes were simply to humour his sentimentality.

Curly never said a word when he saw his things reduced to neatly labeled boxes stacked in the corner of your living room. His eyes had lingered on them for a moment, his lips parting like he wanted to protest, but he didn’t. He just sat on the edge of your pristine white couch, shoulders hunched and hands clasped tightly between his knees, staring at the floor like it might offer some kind of escape.

You didn’t press him. Not at first.

Instead, you watched as he adjusted to the rhythm of your life—the way he moved through your space like a guest overstaying his welcome. He never quite settled, never left anything out of place, as if afraid of disrupting the careful balance you’d constructed long before he got here.

The wardrobe you had set aside for him remained half-empty for weeks. His clothes, though neatly hung, seemed to take up less space than you expected. You wondered if it was intentional—if he was leaving room for an exit.

"You can unpack, you know," you said one night, standing in the doorway of his private bedroom, watching him change out of his shirt with slow, deliberate movements. "You're not leaving."

Curly didn’t look at you, just swallowed and nodded, but you knew he wouldn't.

You weren’t sure if it frustrated or amused you more.

The days passed in a quiet, uneasy truce. Even when beds are shared and bodies spread bare, the morning remained the same. The simple and swift cleaning and redressing like the encounter was no more than two strangers sharing a night.

However, he took over small tasks without being asked—brewing your morning coffee just the way you liked, watering the plants you always forgot about, fixing the squeaky hinge on the bathroom door. Little things that said more than the words he struggled to find.

You knew to give him space. You weren’t entirely heartless. Matters of the mind you knew well enough. Fixing and adjusting people was the source of your wealth. Psychiatry. A room near the front of your home is reserved for visiting patients.

Though your practices were rarely kept within those four walls. Ethics are flexible. And so, one night you intruded on the haven you let himself maintain as his private territory—so much so that you had no idea he’d taken the time to decorate it with the trinkets he had in his flat.

He was reading quietly. Domestic. Though in your presence, he glanced up, then smiled sheepishly. You were an unexpected component to his night. “Yes?”

“Just missed you.” You murmured.

“Thought you were busy with work, still?”

You didn’t respond right away, crossing to the bed. He hesitates.

“May I?”

“Oh. yeah, of course.” He shifts his hips to move to the side, giving you space to settle into the mattress.

“...The boxes.” You glance at the corner, where pieces of decor and personal items remained, peeking through the cardboard. “What type of style is that? A subgenre of maximalism? Perhaps experimenting with industrial aesthetic?” You shift closer, curling into his side, nose nudging his shoulder. He smelled good. And he ran hot, like a furnace.

The arm you pressed against twitches. “I… No.”

“Oh.” You tip your head curiously. “So they’re boxes you haven’t unpacked?”

His throat bobs. “Uhm, yeah.”

“What stopped you from unpacking?” You nudge it again, and he finally opens his arm to wrap around your shoulders, his cheek pressing to the crown of your head.

“I’m sorry,” he murmured. “I’ll get to that in a second. When you leave.”

“Good.” You traced the curve of his jaw, reveling in the warmth. “Put the book down.”

“I need to bookmark it—”

You pushed it aside. He didn’t protest. He turned to face you fully, and you buried your face under his jaw, pressing your cheek to his chest.

His heartbeat was steady. Familiar.

With a sigh, he kissed your hair and held you closer. You melted into him, the constant grind of your thoughts slowing for once.

For a while, there was nothing but the warmth of him, the steady cadence of his breath against your hair, and the slow rise and fall of his chest beneath your cheek. His fingers moved in absent-minded strokes down your arm, and you wondered if he even realized he was doing it. Curly was always like this—hesitant, restrained, but so easy to break down with just the right touch.

You let the silence stretch between you, not pushing, not yet. Letting him believe, just for a little longer, that this was enough. That you could be satisfied with moments like these, with his arms around you, his lips pressing soft against your temple.

But you weren’t.

“Curly,” you whispered, drawing lazy circles against his ribcage with your fingertips. “I still didn't get the why haven’t you unpacked?”

He tensed beneath you, just slightly, his hand pausing mid-stroke before resuming like he thought you wouldn’t notice. But you always noticed. And you're sure he was sharp enough to know that too, even if it was at a subconscious level.

“I... I just hadn't gotten around to it,” he murmured, but the words felt too careful, too rehearsed. “Procrastinating.”

You tilted your head back to look at him, taking in the way his brows knit together, the way his lips parted like he was waiting for you to challenge him. He looked tired. Weary.

“That’s not the real reason.”

He swallowed, eyes darting away. “I don’t know,” he admitted after a long pause, voice barely above a whisper. “Maybe... maybe it’s just easier if I don’t.”

You hummed, thoughtful. “Easier for what?”

A sigh, heavy and resigned. “To leave.”

There it was. The admission you’d been waiting for, wrapped in the quiet vulnerability he hated showing. Or, what was more likely, that he didn't know how to show. His hand tightened around your shoulder, realizing he’d said too much.

You traced the edge of his jaw with a finger, feeling the tension there. Thumb gently rubbing the strip of coiled muscle, you spoke, “I told you,” your lips ghost against his throat, “you’re not leaving.”

He huffed a soft, humorless laugh, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “I know.”

You pulled back enough to study his face, your expression unreadable. “Then why do you still act like a guest?”

Curly’s eyes met yours, searching, pleading for an answer he couldn’t give himself.

Room filled with the clicking of the analog clock chipped at your weathered patience.

Finally, he spoke again, in a hushed, defeated voice.

“I... I don’t know how to be here,” he finally admitted. “Not the way you want me to.”

You considered that, weighing it against everything you knew of him. The years of running, the quiet insecurities he tried to drown in overwork, the way he folded in on himself whenever things got too comfortable.

His sense of self—a delicate wreath of morals and principles he barely understood. Beneath it, a gnawing emptiness.

A human turmoil, you supposed. He knew what he liked. He didn’t know what he needed. That’s why you were here, right? His other half.

“You don’t have to know how,” you said, reaching up to brush a stray curl from his forehead. “You just have to stay.”

His lips twitched, but he nodded, slow and uncertain. “Okay.”

“Okay,” you echoed, satisfied.

He pressed another kiss to your temple, then to the corner of your lips, his arms tightening around you. Still gentle. You smiled at him, resisting the urge to sink your teeth into the smooth ivory of his skin and instead give him an equally-loving peck to his collarbone, then to the place where his heart laid under.

You would do anything for him. The thought consumed you.

#faith.txt #mouthwashing x reader #curly mouthwashing x reader #curly x reader #curly grant x reader #i felt so scandalous writing this much physical intimacy #like omg throw me in a brothel already

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anixvl · 11 hours ago

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WHAT ONCE WAS || NI-KI

pairing: idol!niki x actress!reader

synopsis: Years after your long-term relationship break up, you catch a glimpse of your ex on the news. But, he’s an upcoming star in a korean boy band group. Preparing for their upcoming music video, you're selected as the female lead. Will seeing each other after so long hender your hard-earned founded careers?

genre: old lovers to strangers to lovers, SUGGESTIVEE AFFFF, AU famous, use of irl famous people & films, kinda slow burn?

warnings: angst, suggestive, altered roles in films

wc: 7.5K

The lights of the studio were blinding, but you smiled through it, the practiced grace of an actress trained to charm cameras. It became second-nature to you, after years of blood, sweat, and tears. Many, tears.

Your undeniable hard work.

Across from you, the interviewer leaned in, her voice light but sharp, the way all seasoned hosts wrapped their punches in cunning enthusiasm. It was the 6th interview in the last 2 weeks, and every last one implemented the same topic. It was exhausting.

“You’ve worked with so many big names recently,” she said, her pen poised over her notepad.

“But I have to ask—there’s been a lot of talk about you and Ni-ki of Enhypen. Any truth to the rumors?”

There it was.

The repetitive, infuriating, question you've dreaded.

Your breath hitched, but you didn’t flinch. On the surface, the question was about your recent collaboration on the upcoming music video. Beneath it, though, was the unspoken truth you've spent years burying, desperately trying to forget.

To obliterate, completely.

Ni-ki wasn’t just a co-star or the idol dominating global charts. No, you both knew he was far from that.

You swallowed, pushing away all insistent memories you've forgotten you had. You laughed softly, the kind that said nice try without confirming anything.

“Ni-ki is an incredible talent,” you smiled, leaning back in your chair, “It was an honor to work with him and the boys.”

The interviewer smiled knowingly, “Some would say there’s more to the story. Any comment on the chemistry fans noticed between you two—both on and off-screen?”

you looked away, just for a heartbeat, as the memories rushed back.

Late-night walks in the quiet streets of the home-town you both grew up in, whispered dreams of making it big, and the final, shattering silence that left you both broken.

You smiled again, the professional mask slipping back into place.

“The chemistry,” you said, “is all part of the performance.”

You knew what it meant to be an actress, a global sensation, at that. You had dealt with hate, rumors, and scandals many times during your career. None of it was new to you, not that any of it was bigger than your fan base and public admiration towards you. You had billboards, luxury brand partnership, and magazines on your success and beauty. You're doing extraordinarily well. Romantic rumors between you and your co-stars wasn't new, fans love to group together actors with "chemistry." Not that it was bothersome, your publicity teams used this as advertisement to boost the views for your films, they even encouraged to subtly feed into your fans delusion. It was harmless.

4 years ago, you were nothing but a girl with passionate dreams. With huge dreams to be an actress, a star. If it wasn't for the profound heartbreak you went through back then, you wouldn't have had the courage to leave your small home-town without looking back once. As the years went by, you worked hard and gained recognition like wildfire. Not only were you talented but also undeniably beautiful, big roles were given to you insistently. You were incredibly grateful, to all your fans and support staff, so you worked evermore harder on your acting and events. It was all you felt you had after leaving your home-town, alone. You couldn't let them down, it was your motivation to be better. It was a testament of your hard work, that you could be someone in this world despite of your poor past. Or the betrayals.

A month ago, you were incredibly busy with your demanding schedule. After finally wrapping up Lovely Runner and only a few events left to attend, you had time to breathe. You barely had time to yourself, let alone to watch the news or care about the media. Not if it wasn't PR or about your work. That was, until you absentmindedly decided to turn on the channel news on a random Saturday night. Why would you do that? Out of all days, too. The only time you had to yourself, the only time you decide to indulge yourself with the media, you come face-to-face with the last person you ever thought you'd see again.

Your ex.

Only, he's not there as your ex but as an upcoming kpop idol.

Your heart drops at the sound of his name said by the reporter and his face up-close on the screen. Yes, its undoubtly him. You stop in your tracks, facing the screen of your echoing tv, in the living room of your penthouse. Suddenly, the cup of tea slips from your unresponsive hands and shatters onto the floor. Your assistant rushes out to you, her eyes widening in concern.

"y/n, are you okay? What happened?" She asks, pulling you away from the mess.

You stammer, "I'm...yeah, I'm fine. I-I don't know what...what happened. It must've slipped."

You manage to snap out of the trance, helping your assitant, Kate, clean up the mess. Your eyes frequently find the TV screen, attentively listening to the content. You feel as if a cold sweat has overcame you, you feel nauseous, the shock draining the color from your face.

Get a fucking grip, y/n. What difference does it make now that you know he's doing well? So what if he's a star? You're doing your own thing now, you wont ever cross paths with him. Let it go.

You take a final deep breath, turning off the TV and pushing back the memory of his face on the news.

You were sure you weren't going to see him again, after all, you're an actress. When will a busy actress like you ever meet with a busy idol?

The red carpet glistened under the camera flashes, a sea of faces cheering as you stepped out of the car, your gown flowing like liquid starlight. This was supposed to be your moment—a night to celebrate your tenth major acting award nomination. The big, luxurious, successful ten.

But then you heard it: a name called out by fans down the carpet, echoing like a forgotten melody. His name. Your heart stalled as you turned toward the commotion, and there he was, stepping onto the same carpet from a sleek black van, surrounded by his group members. The world knew him as the rising star of Enhypen, the global sensation boy band.

But to you, he was just Ni-ki—the boy who had once held your heart.

The crowd roared as the lights dimmed, the announcer’s voice booming through the grand stadium. The biggest night in entertainment had brought out the stars, and you were seated front and center, right where the cameras loved you most. Your stylist’s work was flawless—an elegant gown shimmering like stardust, paired with a smile that was as breathtaking and admirable as your reputation.

“And the award for Best International Collaboration goes to…”

The host's pause stretched endlessly, and you leaned back, feigning nonchalance for the cameras. But as soon as the name was announced, the room erupted in cheers.

“Enhypen, featuring Selena Grace!”

You clapped politely, your smile widening for the benefit of the cameras.

Of course, they’d win. Enhypen was unstoppable, and their song XO—an international smash—had cemented their status as global icons. Niki's face flashed on the massive screens as he and his bandmates stood, their tailored suits gleaming under the stage lights.

You kept your eyes onto the big displaying screens, your hands folded neatly in your lap as Jungwon signaled him to deliver the speech. He nods, stepping towards the mic.

“Thank you to the fans,” he began with a charming smile, his voice alluring and low.

“This wouldn’t have been possible without your love and support," He extends his hand out to signal at someone in the crowd, "And, of course, to Selena Grace, who brought magic to this project.”

The camera cut to Selena, seated just a few rows behind you, blowing him a kiss. Your smile faltered, just for a second. You quickly regain your composure, just in case the camera unexpectedly lands on you. You don't want to create unnecessary content for people to delude.

As the applause died down and the show moved on, you braced yourself for your category. Fame had taught you the art of composure, but tonight, you felt like you were unraveling. You wanted nothing than to go home and enjoy your peace.

The announcer’s voice rang through the stadium, cutting through the applause like a beacon.

“And the award for Best Actress in a Leading Role goes to… Y/n L/n!”

The room erupted into cheers and applause, the sound crashing over you like a wave. You felt the cameras zoom in, capturing every detail—the way you pressed your hands to your chest in mock surprise, the graceful way you rose to your feet, the dazzling smile that lit up you face. All of it was calculated, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t real.

As you made your way to the stage, your co-star Byeon Woo-seok in your latest drama Lovely Runner, helped the train of your gown that trailed behind you like liquid gold up the small case of stairs in courteously. But you knew it was also partly just a publicity stunt to feed into the fans who shipped you both together. The audience went louder at this, the host's smiling at the scene before them. It was a sweet gesture. He placed his hand on your lower back, protectively to ensure you could safely walk up the stage. Once safely on the stage, you exchange polite short talk and he rushes back to his seat. The cameras switch back to the crowd, It caught a flicker of movement in the audience.

Niki. He was clapping, his expression unreadable. For a fleeting moment, you locked eyes with him through the big screen. It was as if no time had passed, as if you were back in those quiet moments when it was just you and him in your small home-town.

Then the moment was gone, you quickly looked away and you were back in the spotlight.

The statuette was heavier than you expected as you accepted it, its shiny surface cool against your fingers. The host handed you the microphone, and you turned to face the audience—a sea of faces, cameras, and adoration.

“Wow,” you began, your voice steady and sweet despite the pounding of your heart.

“This… this is truly an honor. Acting has been my dream for as long as I can remember, and to be standing here once again tonight feels like a dream come true," you laugh, softly.

Polite laughter rippled through the room. You continued, your tone warm and heartfelt, the kind of sincerity that always won over the public. Like your last nine awards.

“There are so many people I need to thank—my director, my incredible cast," you smile as the camera cuts to your handsome co-star, "Woo-seok, thank you so much for being such a wonderful partner."

He smiles sheepishly, shaking his head.

"My team who works tirelessly behind the scenes, and, of course, my fans. You’ve made this journey possible, and I’m so grateful for your unwavering support," You continued.

The applause swelled again, and you smiled, letting it wash over you. But as you glanced out at the audience, your eyes land onto the big screen which found Niki once more. This time, his gaze was steady, his expression softer. For a split second, you faltered. Your attention shifts back to the mic.

“And to everyone out there chasing their dreams,” you added, your voice catching slightly, “never give up. You never know how far they’ll take you.”

The audience cheered as you stepped back from the microphone. Your heart was still racing as you made your way offstage, clutching the award like a lifeline.

When the award show was over, you lingered around, talking and socializing with other actors and idols. You spoke to some reporters and did quick interviews.

Kate stayed behind you, following you as you made your way through the crowd. Your smile lit up at the sight of Woo-seok waving you over. As you made your way, the view became clearer. Your eyes land on Woo-seok's company, Enhypen. Your smile faltered a bit. You stand next to Woo-seok as you exchange polite greetings with Enhypen.

“You were amazing up there," Jay said, flashing you a polite smile.

you return the smile, humbly denying.

"That was all you guys, congratulations on the new album," you beamed.

“That speech," Niki speaks up, "it reminded me of someone I used to know.”

The voice made your breath get stuck in your throat for a moment. Turning to face him, you found Niki standing, his hands tucked casually into the pockets of his tailored suit. It's the first time you've seen him since the incident.

your eyes flicker and before you knew it, your mind spoke for itself, “People change.”

“Some things don’t," His response is quick, as if he knew what you were going to say. His gaze lingered, heavy with unspoken words.

You both look into each other's eyes fiercely. Thankfully, Jake changes the topic, starting lively conversation between Woo-seok and the boys. Niki and I stay quiet for a bit, the tension unbearably suffocating. You shake it off, jumping back into conversation with them, completely disregarding NIki. Great, now they will start to suspect. Could this get any worse for you?

Soon after, their director comes over to you. You greet him as he showers you in humble compliments.

“I’ve been meaning to ask you something," he said, looking back and forth between you and Enhypen.

you tilt your head, actively listening.

“Our team’s planning a music video for Enhypen's next single. A big one. And I have someone specific in mind for the lead," he explains.

You look over at the boys, nodding your head cheerfully, "Is that so? That's really great, I'll be rooting for you guys!"

"Actually, Y/n..." Sunoo trails off, exchanging looks with the other members.

“Let me guess,” you said, “Selena Grace?”

“No,” Niki stepped closer, his voice lowering, “You.”

Your eyes widen in surprise, you whip your head toward the director for clarification. You've faced countless directors, producers, and critics, but this? This was different. You've never been in a music video, let alone for a famous Korean boy band.

“Really? Me? You think that’s a good idea?” you asked, your voice laced with denial yet gratitude.

The director smiled, nodding.

"We think you're perfect for the role," he turned to the boys, "don't we?"

You turn to face them, still in disbelief. Kate starts typing in her phone, probably sending off the information to your manager.

Niki holds a unreadable expression, “I think it’s the best idea.”

You furrowed your eyebrows at him, confused at his weird behaviour. You would think that after what happened the last time you both saw each other, your interactions would be vastly different. Yet, It's alarmingly peaceful, with a hint of passive-aggressive.

He smiled faintly, the kind that used to make your heart race.

That following week, news on your collaboration spread like wildfire, it became the most spoken topic and the shooting hasn't even finished. Papparazzi's followed and increased, appearing at your meetings sites with Enhypen. It was a global anticipation, your biggest project of all.

On the first official day of shooting, the set buzzed with energy as Enhypen arrived. Niki's bandmates were larger-than-life in person, their charisma radiating like a collective force field.

And, oh, so handsome.

They stood in a group, laughing and joking as if they hadn’t just stepped off a whirlwind tour.

The sun blazed high over the set, casting golden light across the sprawling outdoor location. The production team buzzed like a hive, cameras and lighting rigs being adjusted, assistants darting between trailers, and the director shouting final instructions. Amid the chaos, you sat in the makeup chair, staring at your reflection.

The makeup artist added the finishing touches, but your nerves weren’t about your appearance. Today was the first day of filming Enhypen's music video—and the first time you'd be working with Niki as professionals since your lives diverged. You hated it, utterly despised him and the thought of being around him another second longer. But you knew it wasn't fair for the rest of the nice crew, after all, it was just this and nothing more. You wouldn’t even need to really interact with him, right? Just endure it a little longer...

“Y/n L/n!” Jay called out, his voice warm and playful. You smoothed the soft fabric of the ethereal dress the costume team had chosen for you as you stepped out. All eyes seemed to follow, the weight of your “dream girl” reputation trailing like a shadow. The staff helped you out of the trailer, staying careful with your dress. You waved, cheerfully, greeting them.

Jungwon gave you a polite bow, “Thank you for agreeing to work with us. The fans are already calling this the collaboration of the year.”

“No pressure, right?” you joked, earning a few chuckles.

Behind him, the remaining members hung back slightly, though their smiles were welcoming. It was clear they all shared an easy camaraderie, the kind that came from years of working, traveling, and growing together.

As you filled your bottle with water, you could feel Niki's gaze, though he hadn’t said a word.

“Don’t be shy,” Heeseung chimed in, clearly relishing the opportunity to engage, “We were just talking about our most embarrassing moments on stage. Do you have one?”

you turned, tilting your head slightly in thought, “Embarrassing moments? Hmm…”

“There was one time during a premiere when I tripped on my dress. Right in front of a live audience and the cameras," you shook your head, recalling the embarrassment at just the thought.

Sunghoon gasped theatrically, “The dream girl… tripped?”

“It happens,” you said with a shrug, laughing.

“But I recovered gracefully, if I do say so myself," you boasted, playfully.

“Of course you did,” Sunoo said, flashing a sweet smile.

“You’re Y/n L/n. You probably made it look like part of the act," Jake joked.

The room burst into laughter, and you couldn’t help but feel a little at ease.

Niki finally spoke, his voice cutting through the lighthearted chatter, “You’ve always been good at making things look effortless.”

The tone of his compliment was subtle, but the room seemed to sense the shift. The laughter died down, and for a moment, the air between you both felt suffocating.

Jay, ever the mediator, clapped his hands together, “Well, since we’re all here, should we teach y/n some choreography from the song?”

you raised an eyebrow, laughing nervously, “Oh no, I’m not a dancer.”

Sunghoon smirked, “You’re an actress. You can pretend to be one.”

Before you could protest, Sunoo was pulling you closer to them, “It’s easy! Just the chorus—Niki, show her.”

Niki shifted reluctantly, but there was a glimmer of amusement in his eyes. He positioned himself beside you, demonstrating a smooth trail with his arms followed by a quick footwork sequence.

“Like this,” he said, his voice quieter now.

you tried to mimic the movement, fumbling awkwardly. The group erupted into laughter, Jake doubling over onto Sunghoon dramatically.

“Okay, okay, I get it,” you said, throwing your hands up in surrender, “Stick to acting for me.”

Niki chuckled softly, his smile genuine, “You weren’t that bad.”

you met his gaze, and for a moment, you felt your breath get stuck in your throat. You quickly looked away, suppressing your thoughts.

“I swear i’m not this bad at dancing,” you defended, playfully, “it just went a little too fast for me to catch on to.”

As the crew finalized the next setup, the director approached, clapping his hands, “Alright, everyone! Let’s get the group shot lined up. Y/n, you’ll be center stage with the guys circling you. We want this to feel like a dream sequence—intense, almost otherworldly.”

you moved to your positions, and you found yourself surrounded by the seven of them. Each carried a distinct presence: Sunghoons quiet confidence, Jake’s playful energy, Heeseungs brooding intensity, Sunoo’s charming warmth, Jungwons calm concentration, Jay’s cool collectiveness, and Niki… well, Niki was Niki: Reserved.

“Alright, everyone, eyes on y/n,” the director called, “This is about the connection. She’s the muse, the untouchable figure you’re drawn to. Feel the tension.”

As the music swelled and the cameras rolled, the guys slipped effortlessly into their roles. You executed your simple choreography gracefully, focusing. Their gazes were piercing, their movements fluid, creating an aura that felt both surreal and magnetic.

But it was Niki’s gaze that unsettled you the most. His eyes locked onto yours, carrying an intensity that blurred the line between performance and reality.

“Cut!” the director called, sounding thrilled, “That was perfect. Let’s reset for the close-ups.”

As the crew adjusted the lighting, Jay leaned in conspiratorially, “You’re a natural at this.”

“Ever thought about switching careers? We could use a eighth member,” Sunoo smiled.

“Only if you want your fans to riot,” you teased.

The group laughed, but Niki stayed quiet, his focus still on you. It made you uncomfortable, catching his gazes frequently. You couldn’t think straight, and it frustrated you.

“Alright, alright,” the director interrupted, “Let’s keep this energy going.”

As you moved back into position, you caught Niki watching you again. This time, his expression was softer, almost unreadable.

“Ready?” he asked, his voice low enough that only you could hear.

“Always,” you replied, meeting his gaze head-on. You look away, giving him the cold shoulder.

After your small break, as you approached the director, he clapped his hands together.

“Perfect timing! Niki, y/n, let’s go over the first solo scene,” he instructed.

You falter for a moment.

You have a solo scene with Niki? Could the universe hate you even more?

you gathered around the monitor as he explained the setup. The concept was intimate: Niki, a mysterious figure, would catch glimpses of you in a dream-like world, your connection growing through fleeting encounters. The chemistry between you would carry the narrative.

“Chemistry,” you thought, biting back a wry smile. That wouldn’t be a problem. If anything, the challenge was hiding it.

The first shot involved you walking barefoot through a field, the breeze catching the hem of your dress, while Niki watched from a distance. Simple enough.

“Positions, everyone!” the assistant director called.

you took your mark, feeling the cool grass beneath your feet, and glanced at Niki. He stood at his mark, hands in his pockets, his gaze fixed on you. The look in his eyes sent a ripple through you—curiosity, recognition, and something deeper that he didn’t try to hide.

“Action!”

Your eyes flickered as you snapped back into reality. The world around you fell silent as you moved through the scene, every step slow and deliberate. Niki’s presence loomed at the edge of your awareness, his gaze a constant weight. You glanced back over your shoulder as directed, and your eyes met.

Time seemed to slow.

For a moment, it wasn’t the camera capturing you but the past pulling you back to a place you both tried to leave behind.

“Cut!” the director called, breaking the trance.

He clapped enthusiastically, “That was beautiful. Perfect connection. Let’s reset for the next shot.”

you exhaled, only then realizing you’ve been holding your breath. Niki approached as the crew adjusted the setup.

“You’re good at this,” he said quietly, his voice low enough that only you could hear.

Yet it felt sarcastic to you. It irked you.

“Took a lot of hard work and many sacrifices,” you replied, keeping your tone neutral.

His eyes narrowed, his lips twitching into a faint smile, but his eyes searched yours as if trying to read what you weren’t saying.

The next scene involved you standing closer, your hands nearly touching but never quite meeting. The director called it a “moment of almost,” the kind of shot that fans would replay endlessly.

As you both stood there, your hands hovering inches apart, the tension between you both became palpable.

“Action!”

you turned toward him, your character’s longing meant to be subtle yet undeniable. But as your eyes met, the emotions spilling from him felt too real. For a second, you wondered if Niki was acting at all—or if he, like you, were still caught in the echoes of what you used to be.

Of what once was.

The final day of shooting had been grueling, but the wrap party was in full swing. The studio’s rooftop terrace glittered with string lights and a panoramic view of the city skyline. Cast, crew, and industry insiders mingled, laughing and toasting to the success of the project. You were tired of keeping a front for the reporters and photographers. Being close to Niki, feeling his touch on your skin, his gaze on yours—it was all too overwhelming. Moreover, it didn’t make anything better that fans and media shipped you both together after the music video was released. Countless of interviews included him, you felt as if all your hard work was underestimated because of Niki. As if your boost in popularity was mostly because of him. It irritated you.

You worked hard for this. You made it out for yourself. No thanks to him. All you wanted was to be as far as you could from him.

You leaned against the railing, a glass of champagne in hand, but your mind was elsewhere. The past few weeks had been a whirlwind of emotions. Working with Niki had stirred up everything you’ve buried—the longing, the heartbreak, the unresolved tension. And tonight, it felt like it was all teetering on the edge of spilling over. You were so fed up. The pretentious act, the subtle messages, the mixed signals. Everything.

“You’re quiet tonight.”

His voice came from behind you, gentle and steady. You didn’t have to turn to know it was Niki.

You exhaled slowly, irritated, “Just tired.”

He stepped closer, the warmth of his presence cutting through the cool night air.

“Tired, or avoiding me?”

you turn around to face him, “What are you talking about?”

His expression was calm, but his eyes spoke many messages. He shoves his hands in his pockets, sighing.

“You’ve been distant. Since that scene last week, you’ve barely looked at me, let alone talked to me. Why?” he urged, his expression holding a look of longing.

you roll your eyes, the frustration bubbling up, “I’m just doing my job. Isn’t that what we’re supposed to be doing?”

He shook his head, a bitter laugh escaping his lips, “Don’t do that. Don’t pretend this is just work. I know you felt it—every moment we’ve had together on set, it wasn’t just acting. And you’re running from it.”

your chest tightened, his words hitting too close to the truth than you like. You set your glass down on the railing, your hands trembling.

“What do you want me to say? That I feel something? That being around you again makes me question everything I’ve tried to move past?”

“Yes,” he said, his voice breaking slightly. Your eyebrows furrow.

“Because it’s the same for me. I tried to move on, y/n, but you… you’re everywhere. And now, working with you, it’s like every wall I built is crumbling.”

you stared at him, the weight of his confession crashing into you.

You scoffed, annoyed and in disbelief at his audacity. This isn’t how the story went in your book. No.

“You left, Niki! You chose this life, this path. You can’t just show yourself in front of me after not hearing from you for years and expect me to pretend like everything is fine,” you fumed, tears clouding your vision.

His jaw tightened, “I looked for you! I came back to our hometown, I…I searched for you everywhere. But it was too late. They told me you were gone. I didn’t know where to look for you, y/n...”

Your eyes flickered in shock. Your heart dropped. He looked for you? Why didn’t you know any of this? No one ever told you that he came back for you…but still, to act like this after leaving in the first place is uncalled for. What difference does it make, right? But why is your heart beating so fast? Why is your body longing for his touch?

He steps closer to you, “I was so stupid for leaving you alone in the first place, I know. I got caught up with my schedule and training that I couldn’t even sleep, let alone text. Training was intense and immersive at the company, we weren’t allowed to communicate. By the time they were more lenient with communicating, i left you so many messages and calls. Why didn’t you answer?”

You blink, slowly taking in the information, “I had changed my number. After being ghosted by my own boyfriend, seeing you be all successful on your own and feeling like you forgot about me, hurt me. It’s when I started my acting career.”

He shook his head, “I could never abandon you, it wasn’t on purpose, y/n. I thought about you every single second. You were my motivation. I thought once i was successful enough, i’d be able to find you quicker. That you’d come find me.”

“You just decided for both of us, and I was supposed to be okay with it? Do you know what it felt like to see you fade away without a word? I was worried sick for you! I didn’t know where to find you or reach you. I even worried that you were dead! Just like that, without even officially ending it, the relationship we had built was gone in an instant. How could you do this to me?” you bit your lip, holding back the urge to cry.

The silence that followed was deafening. His shoulders slumped slightly, the fight draining out of him, “I never meant for this to happen. I never meant to hurt you. But I see now that I hurt you more than anything else ever could. And I regret it so much.”

you crossed your arms, trying to keep a calm and collected composure despite the burning feeling in your throat from trying not to cry, “You did.”

For a moment, neither of you spoke, the sounds of the party fading into the background.

Then, softly, he said, “I don’t want to hurt you again, y/n. But I don’t know how to stop feeling this way.”

you shook your head, tears threatening to spill, “You don’t get to say that now, Niki. You don’t get to just… come back into my life and make me feel like this all over again. Not after years of loving you—waiting for you.”

He softly flinched, his expression softening. He reached for your hand, but you pulled away, stepping back.

“I can’t do this,” you whispered, your voice breaking, “I can’t go through this again.”

You turned on your heel, heading towards the exit. You quickly get pulled back by Niki, whose grip is desperate onto your wrist.

“Don’t go,” he pleaded, “please.”

“Niki, let go of me—”

“I love you.”

Your eyes widen slightly at his abrupt words. Your body loosens, forgetting to resist. Your eyes meet, his touch on your skin tingles.

“What are you saying?” You managed to say, your eyes looking into his for truth.

“I love you, y/n. I never stopped loving you,” he confessed, looking down at you in yearning.

“Don’t do this,” You pleaded, shaking your head softly as tears prickle at the corner of your eyes.

You didn’t know how much you could take, and all of this was just too sudden. Like salt on the wound.

And then, Jay barges through the doors of the rooftop.

“Niki, they need you,” he said, looking back and forth between you both.

You quickly turn away, hiding your teary expression. Before he could say anything, You quickly make your way past Jay and out the doors. As you push your way through the crowd, you feel your heart breaking further and further you walk away from him.

The echoes of the rooftop confrontation lingered long after you left the party. You replayed Niki’s words in your head, over and over, until they became a loop of emotions you couldn’t escape.

For the next few days, you threw yourself into work, avoiding every call, text, and notification. Niki hadn’t reached out directly, but articles about the music video were everywhere, the internet buzzing with speculation about your "chemistry." Fans had pieced together theories and speculations about you both. It was alarming.

When your phone buzzed with a new text from your manager, you hesitated before reading it.

"Director wants you on set tomorrow. Enhypen is doing some last-minute pickups for the video, and they want you in the final scene. Non-negotiable."

You stared at the message, your stomach knotting. Facing Niki again felt impossible, but walking away now would mean letting your emotions derail your hard earned career—a line you weren’t willing to cross.

The final scene was simple: Niki and I standing together, framed by soft lighting, as the camera panned out to symbolize resolution. When you arrived, Niki was already there, surrounded by makeup team. He looked up as you entered, his expression a mix of hesitation and relief.

“Y/n,” he said, standing.

you nodded curtly, keeping your distance, “Let’s just get this over with.”

The director wasted no time, positioning you both side by side under the glow of a massive artificial sunset. The scene required you to face each other, your hands almost touching as if the unspoken tension between you had finally resolved.

“Alright, action!”

you moved into position, your eyes meeting under the soft light. Your breath caught as Niki’s hand hovered close to yours, the warmth of his presence seeping through the small space between you. The scene was supposed to be quiet, but as the camera rolled, Niki broke the silence. His voice was barely audible, meant only for you.

“I meant what I said the other night,” he whispered, his eyes searching yours.

You tensed, your carefully maintained composure cracking.

“Niki…”

“No, listen,” he continued, his voice steady but full of emotion.

“I’ve spent every day since I left regretting it. I thought I was doing what was best for us, but I was a coward. I was afraid of being no one, so I worked tirelessly to debut. I wanted to be someone for you. To get us both out of that small town. But i was too careless and forgot what all of this was for. Who all of this was for… you were the only thing keeping me grounded,” he said.

Tears welled in your eyes, but you couldn’t respond. The director called, “Cut!” but neither of you moved. Niki’s hand finally closed the gap, his fingers brushing yours.

“Please, y/n. Just tell me if there’s still a chance. I’ll fight for it—I’ll fight for us—if you want me to,” he begged, squeezing your hand.

Your throat tightened as his words sank in, “Do you think it’s that easy? That we can just pick up where we left off?”

“No,” he admitted, his voice raw, “But I’ll do whatever it takes to make it right.”

The crew watched you both curiously as you stood there, the tension palpable even off-camera. Finally, you stepped back, breaking the moment.

“I need time,” you said, your voice barely above a whisper.

Niki nodded, though the pain in his eyes was evident, “I’ll wait.”

Back in your apartment that night, you sat alone in the dim light of your living room, replaying every word he’d said. Part of you wanted to believe him, to take the leap and trust that you both could find your way back to each other. But another part of you was terrified. Of being hurt again.

Weeks after that, you continued to replay those moments with Niki. Although shooting was wrapped up and the music video was out, you still felt stuck. You hadn’t reached out to him, you hesitated every time, afraid of what could happen if you decide to let him back in. But you knew, deep down, you were running away from what you truly felt.

Love.

You ardently and most irrevocably, loved Niki.

You stared at his name on your phone for the millionth time this month. Your thumb hovering over the call button before you sighed and put the phone down. You just didn’t have the courage to do it. Just as you were about to head to the kitchen for coffee, there was a knock at the door. You froze, your heart racing.

Yes, you just knew.

when you opened the door, there he was. Niki, standing in the hallway, looking like he hadn’t slept. His hair was a mess, his outfit still impeccable, but his eyes—those eyes that always seemed to see through you—were unwavering.

“What are you doing here?” you asked, your voice weaker than you intended.

“I couldn’t leave things like that,” he said, his voice low but steady. “Please, I just needed to see you.”

You hesitated, every part of you screaming to slam the door and protect what was left of your fragile heart. But something in his expression stopped you.

“Five minutes,” you said, stepping aside.

He walked in, his movements careful, as though afraid of pushing you further away. You stayed near the door, arms crossed, your defenses firmly in place.

“I know I hurt you,” he began, his hands clenching at his sides. “And I’ve been trying to figure out the right way to say this, but there isn’t one. I’ve been missing you, missing you like crazy.”

His words hung in the air, heavy with sincerity.

“You don’t know what it was like for me, Niki. Watching you rise, seeing your face everywhere while I was trying to forget—do you have any idea how that felt?”

“I do,” he said softly, “Because I was watching you too. Every movie, every headline—you were everywhere, y/n. And every time, I thought, ‘She’s better off without me.’ But now…”

He paused, his voice breaking slightly, “Now I know I was wrong. I don’t want to just be a memory in your life. I want to be part of it again.”

The vulnerability in his voice shattered something in you.

He took a step closer, his gaze never leaving yours,“let me prove it to you. Whatever it takes, I’ll do it. Just… don’t shut me out, y/n. Not again. I don’t want to lose you when i just got you back.”

“I can’t promise anything,” you said finally.

He holds you by your arms, looking down at you tenderly.

He nodded, a small, hopeful smile tugging at his lips. “That’s enough.”

You both stare at eachother in silence, the tension growing heavier and heavier. Your eyes glance down at his lips and then up at his eyes. And before you both knew it, you were drawing closer and closer to each other.

He kisses you, softly and tenderly. For a second, you’re stunned but quickly close your eyes in relief as you kiss him back. He lets out a soft, relieved, sigh as he moves his hands from your arms to cup your face. He deepened the kiss, savoring every taste of you. He starts to push forward, causing you to move backward until your back hits the wall. The kiss is yearnful, desperate, and so messy. Feelings you didn’t know you had emerged from you. Finally, you both pull away to catch your breath.

“I missed this,” he exhaled, both of your faces just mere inches away.

Both your foreheads rested against each other. You closed your eyes, catching your breath.

“Me too…” your breath hitched as his fingers found their way under your shirt.

He captures your lips once again, slowly yet hungrily. He picks you up, you wrap your legs around his torso and your arms around his neck. He leads you blindly to the bedroom, laying you on top of the bed. He positions himself between your legs as he towers over you, using his arms to support his weight. He doesn’t break the kiss as his hands trail all over your body. Feeling every inch of you, remembering, noting every feature of your trembling body. He breaks the kiss to leave a trail of wet kisses on your neck, his free hand sliding under your shirt. He feels your bare skin under his touch, he grips onto your waist. You let out a shaky exhale.

“Niki…”

"Y/n,” he murmured, his tone a mix of desperation and restraint, “I can’t do this halfway with you. If I continue kissing you—touching you like this—I won’t be able to stop.”

You swallow, hard. After a moment of hesitation, you nod. He captures your lips once again, this time slowly, meaningfully, and passionately. As if he was promising so many things in one kiss. He drags his arm down your legs, slowly pulling down your shorts alongside.

His touch became more insistent as he worshipped you with a fervor that left you breathless. Whispering and groaning sweet names and phrases to you like an alluring consolation. Time seemed to blur as you both gave yourselves over to each other, the years of longing and heartbreak dissolving in the heat of the moment.

For the first time in what felt like forever, you let yourself feel—completely, unapologetically, and without restraint. Niki made you forget everything but him, his touch grounding you while his kisses sent you soaring. And as the night stretched on, the walls you'd so carefully built around your heart began to crumble, leaving nothing but the raw, undeniable truth of what you've both been fighting all along: you were meant to find your way back to each other.

By the time the music awards came, your relationship with Niki had soared. Private, but not secret. For the better of your careers, for now at least.

The thunderous applause echoed through the arena as Enhypen's name lit up the massive screen behind the stage. They had just won the biggest award of the night—Song of the Year. Fans screamed, the cameras panned across the cheering crowd, and the members of Enhypen rose to their feet, hugging each other before heading up to the stage.

You sat in the audience, clapping politely, doing your best to remain composed despite the swell of pride bubbling in your chest. You avoided the cameras, knowing full well they’d zoom in on you if you looked too emotional. Niki caught your eye as he walked by, his smile quick and fleeting, but it was enough to make your heart stutter.

The group gathered on stage, their presence commanding as the arena quieted for their speech. Jungwon took the mic first, thanking their team, their fans, and their families. The other members chimed in, their voices laced with gratitude and joy.

Then the mic was passed to Niki.

“Wow,” he started, his deep voice carrying over the crowd. “This is… unbelievable. I don’t think there’s a word big enough to describe what this moment feels like.”

“I’ve been thinking a lot about this moment,” he continued, his voice steady but laced with something deeper—something vulnerable.

“When we started, we never imagined we’d make it this far. There were so many times we doubted ourselves, so many nights we wondered if we were good enough. But we had each other, and we had you—our fans—to remind us to keep going.”

The crowd roared again, but Niki wasn’t done. His hand tightened on the mic, and his eyes scanned the audience, stopping for a beat when they landed on you. Your breath hitched.

“And there’s one more person I need to thank,” he said, his tone softening.

“Someone who believed in me even before I believed in myself. Someone who’s been an inspiration, a muse, a best friend, and…” He hesitated, a small, almost nervous smile tugging at his lips, “The love of my life.”

Gasps and cheers rippled through the crowd. The cameras swiveled immediately to you, who froze in your seat, your cheeks flushing under the bright lights. Your eyes widen a bit. The crowd cheered lowly at the sight of your beautiful appearance.

Niki's voice grew steadier, more certain, “Y/n, I know this might be the last thing you want right now, but I can’t go up here and pretend you’re not the reason I’ve made it this far. You’ve challenged me, supported me, and even when things were hard, you never stopped being my light.”

“I’ve spent so long trying to prove that I’m worthy of standing next to you. And now, I’m standing here tonight, on this stage, with this award, and I want the world to know that it’s because of you. Thank you, Y/n.”

Tears pricked your eyes as the entire arena seemed to dissolve into chaos. Fans screamed, the cameras fixated on you, and Enhypen's members exchanged wide-eyed looks with one another.

Your gaze locked with Niki's, and despite the noise, the flashing lights, and the million eyes on you both, it felt like you were the only two people in the room.

Niki stepped back from the mic as the crowd continued to roar, his lips curling into a soft smile meant only for you.

You flashed a pretty smile, a chuckle following after. Maybe it was the shock, maybe it was how thoughtful this was, or simply you just loved him so much that nothing else mattered.

The night ended with fans buzzing, headlines exploding, and Enhypen securing their place as not just award winners but as the center of one of the most iconic love declarations in recent history.

#enhypen niki #enhypen #enhypen fanfiction #nishimura riki #niki x reader #riki nishimura x reader

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ticklygiggles · 3 days ago

Text

A/N: 4/4 of wonderful @wertzunge! This was a little gift because Santa wanted to spoil Max 💖 I love you Max, I really hope you liked these little gifts mwah 💕

Summary: 🤫

Words: 1.8k

“Whoa, we got so many presents this year!” Yamaguchi said excitedly.

It was finally Christmas Eve. Yamaguchi thought he had never been so excited about Christmas in his entire life. He loved receiving gifts, but he had always been modest and very patient in that regard. He loved to eat special food on Christmas, but he could actually make that same food any other day of the year.

What really had him excited this time was the fact that he was going to spend Christmas with people very important to him. Sure, his family was very important to him, but it was his first Christmas away from home and with his friends in his own apartment. Crazy!

“Stay away from the presents. Are you five years old?" Tsukishima said from the other side of the kotatsu, in front of Yamaguchi.

Yamaguchi chuckled, leaving a present with his name on it back under the tree and he looked up at Tsukishima with an apologetic smile. “Sorry, Tsukki.”

“Let Yamaguchi look at the presents, Tsukki!” Kuroo said from the kitchen just like a mother would nag at his kids. “He's just watching them, nothing else.”

Tsukishima rolled his eyes and Yamaguchi giggled, taking a deep breath and sighing pleasantly as he folded his arms over the table and used them as a pillow. His nose filled with the wonderful scent of pine, cinnamon and whatever Kuroo was preparing in the kitchen.

He was beside himself with excitement. He couldn't help but chuckle to himself and feel his heart racing in his chest as he curled his toes under the kotatsu. There was just one thing missing to feel completely happy.

“I'm coming~,” Kuroo sang after he heard three quick knocks on the door, and both Yamaguchi and Tsukishima held back a laugh. “Ah, welco- Oh goodness, you're covered in snow!”

“Hello, Kuroo-san!”

Well, not ‘a thing’, but ‘a person’. Yamaguchi perked up at hearing your voice and he quickly got up from where he was sitting in front of the tree and rushed to the kitchen to welcome you as well.

He nearly screamed your name and you looked up at him with a bright smile. “Tadashi! Hello! Tsukki too, hi!”

There you were. In your arms a pile of gifts, Yamaguchi could barely see your face and snow gathered in your shoulders, head and even your nose. Now that you were here, his Christmas was definitely complete.

He had invited you to spend the holidays at his apartment with Kuroo and Tsukishima and he had to admit that he was really nervous that you would say no, but you had accepted his invitation and now you were really here!

“Ah, thank you, Tsukki,” you said when the blonde helped you with all the gifts. “I think they might be a bit wet. It started to snow so hard just when I got out of the train! Ack!”

“Yamaguchi, what are you doing there?!” Kuroo yelled as he ruffled your hair, trying to get rid of the snow in your head. “Get some blankets! He's gonna freeze to death! Take your jacket off and your shoes, quickly!”

Yamaguchi gasped and he rushed to his room to get extra blankets. When he was back, you were already being pushed to the living room by Tsukishima, he made you sit by the kotatsu and you sighed in relief when the warmth underneath it wrapped around your freezing legs and feet.

Yamaguchi smiled and he approached you and Tsukishima who had sat down on his spot again, continuing reading his book.

“I'm glad you could make it, thank you for coming,” Yamaguchi said, gently placing a blanket around your shoulders and he laughed when you quickly wrapped yourself with it.

“Thank you for inviting me over! I hope I'm not intruding.”

“Nonsense!” Kuroo yelled from the kitchen and you and Yamaguchi giggled as Tsukishima rolled his eyes.

“Oh, are you very cold?” Yamaguchi asked worriedly as you trembled slightly. You nodded softly.

“I'm gonna get you some tea,” Tsukishima said kindly, standing up and quickly going to the kitchen. You thanked him shyly and then smiled at Yamaguchi. Your nose was as red as Rudolph's and Yamaguchi couldn't help but giggle; you looked at him curiously, tilting your head to the side.

“I'm gonna help you warm up,” Yamaguchi said gently and he laughed when you yelped as he suddenly grabbed your socked feet under the kotatsu. “Relax, I'm just gonna massage your feet a little.”

Your cheeks turned a little pink, and you tried to tell him no, but Yamaguchi refused to let go of your feet, holding them firmly as his fingers gently massaged your toes and arches. After a moment, you stopped struggling and Yamaguchi smiled widely.

“Does it feel good?”

“It… it does.”

Yamaguchi chuckled, rubbing and massaging your feet carefully, feeling them starting to warm up under his fingers. Your nose was also less red, however, your cheeks were indeed pink with a shy blush.

A comfortable silence filled the room, only Tsukishima and Kuroo's voices could be heard from the kitchen and along with the delicious aromas, Yamaguchi couldn't help but feel a little drowsy.

His head drooped a few times and his touch on his feet became lighter as he drifted into the realm of dreams for a moment. He felt so relaxed, so happy, so-

“T-Tadahahashi!” Yamaguchi opened his eyes, raising his head to see you covering your mouth with both hands as you laughed.

“What's so funny?” He asked curiously. Did he sleep for too long?

“You're tihihickling me! I think my feheheet are already warm, Tadashi. You can stop now, thank you.”

Yamaguchi stared at you, blinking slowly as the words made sense in his brain. He then looked at his lap where your feet rested and a smirk pulled at the corners of his mouth.

Before you could pull your feet away, he grabbed them in a lock between his legs and wiggled his fingers right under your toes. Your reaction was immediate: hysterical laughter escaped from between your lips as your body fell backwards against the wooden floor. You squirmed back and forth, desperately pulling at your feet, but Yamaguchi had you well in hand and he laughed along with you.

“How's that? Are your toes warmer?”

“Ahaha! It tihihickles!” Yamaguchi giggled as you cackled. Oh, he knew very well how ticklish your feet were.

He wiggled his fingers and scratched under your toes, the most sensitive place in your feet. His blunt nails skittering up and down your soles, from the tips of your toes to your heels. You were a laughing mess and it didn't take long for Kuroo to nag him:

“Tadashi! Let him warm up properly!”

“I am!” Yamaguchi said with a laugh that only increased when he peeled your feet from your socks and you squealed loudly, begging between laughter even though he hadn't started tickling you yet.

“Plehehase, nohoho! Dohohon't!”

“Don't what?” Yamaguchi asked, biting his lower lip as he put your socks near the kotatsu.

“Tihihickle my feheheet!”

“Oh, gladly!” Yamaguchi giggled to himself. You fell right into his trap and now his blunt nails were scratching at your sensitive skin, making you squirm like a little worm as you cackled and squealed and weakly pulled at your poor feet.

Your soles were pink, because they were warm and because of the incessant tickles. Yamaguchi relished your silly laughter and he laughed brightly when you snorted as he tickled that hypersensitive spot at the side of your big toes.

“Do you think your feet are warm enough?” Yamaguchi asked and he giggled when you nodded, unable to talk between your laughter. “I can't hear you~”

“You're gonna kill him, Yamaguchi. That's enough, here's the tea,” Tsukishima said and Yamaguchi pouted, whining like a child as he finally stopped his playful attack and gently put your socks back.

“Ow, Tsukki, I was just helping hi- ack! Ahahahack! Nohoho!”

“I think you might be very cold after helping me so much, Tadashi,” you said as your hands glued to his hips and Yamaguchi cackled, throwing his head back as he desperately tried to pull your hands away. “Let me return the favor, okay?"

“Ahahaha! N-No! You dohohon't hahahave to!”

“I don't have to what?”

“Reheheturn the fahahavor- no! Wait! GAHAHA!”

“Oh, gladly.” Yamaguchi heard you giggling and he facepalmed himself mentally. He just fell on his own stupid tramp!

Yamaguchi shook his head, laughing like a madman as you tickled his worst spot mercilessly. He squirmed and kicked, accidentally hitting the table with his knee and making Tsukishima scream.

“You children! Stop this instant! You're gonna spill the tea and make a mess!”

“YEHEHEHES! Y-You’re gohohonna m-mahahake a mehehess!” Yamaguchi laughed out, playfully hitting your arms, causing you to laugh along with him.

Oh this was so much fun! Yamaguchi was a whole grown-up, but he could still have fun with his friends like this. It made him so happy, but you were certainly merciless! His poor hips always tickle the most when you tickle them and he always felt like he'd go crazy!

“You two!” With a gasp, you immediately stopped and Yamaguchi collapsed on the floor, laughing and giggling softly. Kuroo said your name and you flinched, looking up at him. “Drink your tea right now. I don't want you to catch a cold.”

“... Yeeees.”

“And you,” Kuroo pointed at Yamaguchi and he flinched, quickly sitting up. “Behave yourself.”

“... Yeeees.”

Yamaguchi sat with a straight back, you sipped on your tea silently and Kuroo stood there with his hands on his waist just like an angry mom. A moment of silence passed by before Yamaguchi heard a soft snort and then loud laughter.

It was Tsukishima. Tsukishima was laughing.

“Tsukki?!” Kuroo asked incredulously as Tsukishima doubled over the kotatsu, laughing loudly.

“You look ridiculous!” He said, pointing at Kuroo. Yamaguchi and you looked up and bit your tongues to stop from laughing.

Kuroo not only had the pose of an angry mom, he was also wearing an apron and in his hand he had a spatula. He really looked ridiculous.

“Not you two as well!” Kuroo groaned when you and Yamaguchi couldn't hold your laughter anymore. “The three of you are so mean! Ack! Let go! What- Tsukki, you-! Ahahahaha!”

Somehow, Tsukishima suddenly had Kuroo under him. Kuroo's hands under Tsukishima's knees and Kei's hands under Kuroo's armpits, tickling him silly. Kuroo started to laugh right away, shrieking and throwing his head back.

“UHUNFAHAHAIR!”

“Shut it, this is their fault,” Tsukishima said and you and Yamaguchi shared a glance before starting to giggle, listening to Kuroo's hyena-like laugh.

Feeling something heavy like honey and warm like the kotatsu, Yamaguchi thought that this would definitely be a Christmas that neither of them could ever forget!

#haikyuu!!#haikyuu!! tickling #kuroo tetsurou #tsukishima kei #yamaguchi tadashi #reader #ticklish!reader #ticklish!yamaguchi #ticklish!kuroo #kurotsuki if you squint but not really #tickle fic #mia's things #mia's fics

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