#and it's not keeping me that much anymore so expect a lot more solas

[zialinart]

Current state : obsessed by this egg-shaped guy

I found out at the end of the game what Vhenan means and I’m not okay

[allmannerofmalady]

In continuation of my clownery, I started a new DATV playthrough because my beloved Inquisitor looked so jarring I had to remake her and replay like 20 hours of the game. But hey, I made peace with the fact that I am playing DATV to wrap up Inquisition and get an ending scene at this point, I'm not currently foreseeing a second playthrough, so I gotta do it right, y'know?

Spoilers, and me complaining at extreme length, yet again, about my own personal expectations vs reality into the void. Please ignore if DATV negativity is something you prefer to stay away from, protect your peace & what you enjoy.

So I replay HOURS. I'm having fun killing everything as fast as I can - I don't know what it is about playing as a rogue in this game that has tickled my ADHD brain so much, but I'm surprisingly really good at the arrow bonanza and relentless enemy aggro?! This turn based bitch? I digress.

I see my bb Inquisitor Lavellan - she still doesn't look like herself, but I can live with it. She got some ill-advised fillers in Tevinter, she's been through a lot, let her LIVE.

This time around my strategy is pure lore hunting. I'm getting every codex, I'm SQUEEZING this playthrough for whatever lore/easter eggs I can get because idk if I'm going to play again. I got all of Solas' murals early on, got Mythal's essence before Weisshaupt even, I think. BUT WAIT! I have one more treat! The locked room in the Lighthouse! Solas' study! There must be something juicy for all the effort, right? RIGHT? :'D

I know it's been beaten to death, but PERSONALLY, the game still feels incredibly flat to me, jarringly so. If I'm in the Dreadwolf's home, I want to snoop. I want Rook to look through his library, his books, his garbage bin. I even remember the devs saying they wanted being in the Lighthouse to feel an old friends house, or something? I could be wrong, my brain is fried. It's not just a Solas thing - I'm playing this game because I'm desperate for info about the characters I love, but as Rook, we are IN Solas' HQ and I want to rip open the floorboards. I'm trying to RP as much as I can RP in this G.

Anyway, I was so thirsty for something more, something deeper than just these lovely environments I cant do much with, and notes on how Solas hoards raisins - so I collected the wisps and did all the things to unlock the second door in the Lighthouse, forever booboo the fool, thinking I would get some juicy content or something. Trying to stay positive.

No. NO. I got some gear, another empty room Rook has no comments on, and fine, some of Solas' observations on the anchor. It does seem to confirm he kept the Inquisitor’s arm aaaand I love him your honour.

Back to backflipping and shooting arrows in the air, and wanting to grab Emmrich by the beautiful lapels to shake him and ask about the Pentaghast family. Where's my WIFE --

On to the Weisshaupt mission, which was actually ridiculously fun to play - until I was told Weisshaupt is gone haha wow great love that at least the Inquisitor & gang are keeping Southern Thedas safe *subtle foreshadowing* 😃🤞 weeee

I was SO MAD at myself for expecting more like the clown that I am, it was something dumb but just annoyed me all over again and got me all… opinionated 🫠

So, I'm mad again. I cannot begin to articulate my feelings about the incredible amount of storylines and lore we've lost with the decisions made in DATV's writing - they've already been written so eloquently by much greater minds than myself. SO I'm just laughing my way through the pain 🤡

People pleaser that I am, I see other creators I've followed and loved for ages defend the game's choices, tell others they lack media literacy, that your criticisms mean you have rose tinted glasses about the previous games - whatever, your opinion can be valid without tearing others down. So, I genuinely thought something was wrong with me for being so hung up on details. But I can't even engage in fan theories anymore because I'm so jaded at this point. When I see new deep dives into lore-based theories on the game, 99% of the time my mind goes "There is no deeper meaning. They just wanted to wrap it up." Why do you think this thing happened? What do you think that thing is hinting? Nothing. And this is coming from someone who played all the games, owns all the novels, art books, World of Thedas I and II, the bloody Inquisitor lamp from the BioWare store LOL, I was primed and ready to engage in these conversations, but I can't. I have nothing to say that won't end in a cynical answer, and maybe that's because I'm also jaded by working in the game-adjacent VFX industry.

The factions are, yet again, fun but shallow, the logic confusing, and lack much of a backstory for Rook (I think Grey Wardens and Mourn Watchers seem to be the best developed from other reviews and playthroughs, I've only played extensively as a Shadow Dragon, to be fair). Why are you a mage in this one faction? Why are you a rogue in another when it doesn't make sense without a story to support it? It's all this beautiful candy floss that melts away the minute I stop and think about it. And then the cynic in me thinks - these are probably vestiges of the live service part of the game that EA was pushing for. I have to slap myself and stop looking for deeper meaning within corporate decisionsssss there is no swimming pool behind that closed door you needed 7 wisps for 😃

I desperately did not want this to be the case. I was hyped. I preordered the game and organized vacation around it, I'm too old and dealing with way too many crappy personal things to just be a hater for the sake of being a hater. Gaming and Dragon Age are my comfort spaces. But for the LIFE of me, I can't imagine playing DATV again once I finish, let alone more times than I can count like the previous games. Or imagine listening to 4 hours of Youtube videos of party banter to analyze, or even imagine how companions would react to certain things because they feel so stiff. Everything is beautiful, but sterile.

I do love Emmrich - I'm enjoying his storyline and romance, it's like the loveliest most whimsical Vincent Price Pixar romance, but still, something is always missing with the characters even as some do grow on me. I can't imagine anything close to just the party banter ALONE between Solas and Iron Bull. Cole. Fenris and Anders. And to be clear - the whole DA was GRITTY and DARK, DAO supremacy - NOT ME. I love all the games but they have always been whimsical and silly, cringey at times, and did not take themselves seriously. I remember doing the quest where Hawke is running around trying to keep Aveline's date with Donnic from going south, cracking up at how ridiculous it was, and just thinking - gods I LOVE this game.

Speaking of romance, while I'm enjoying how sweet the romance with Emmrich is, when I see others complaining about lack of spice... ahem. I still cannot get over the art style when it comes to characters. This is subjective, and a me problem - I still find it jarring. I don't like the proportions, the bloom, how smooth everyone looks. They still mostly look like cartoons to me, with no body hair and the big heads, and I find everyone's hands so distracting because they look like plasticine. I'm ok with no spice between these characters with their current designs lol let me leave it at that. Ok, except for Felassan and Solas, chef's kiss, no notes.

Solas and story elements directly around him still mostly hold the familiar weight, for the most part. I think credit goes to his amazing VA and the strength of what was likely written for his arc from the very start, before the rewrites and dev hell the game went through. I still have opinions, obviously, but even as a ride or die Solavellan I don't like having the Solavellan angle hijack conversations, so I'm not going to go there. If I'm going to criticize stuff I'll do it as a gamer/DA fan first, egg lover and apologist second.

As I reach the end of Act 2, the game continues to makes me feel like I'm stripped of all agency after a lifetime of playing choice-based games. I talk to companions when it allows me to, then they are relegated to set dressing. My conversation choices all feel the same, or don't match what I'm choosing sometimes. The Lighthouse does not feel like the vibrant hub it was sold as. I am on quests I mostly cannot accept or reject. I cannot interact with my surroundings unless it is gameified (light a candle, move a crystal). The companions abilities are all just - platforming? I know I sound hyperbolic, but it's all I can see currently.

I played Persona 5 from end to end, twice. I played FFXVI. I loved both, had no issues with their linear storytelling, and how the game led you to their end points. Those games are not DA, they did not have the expectations you would have from a BioWare title 10 years in the making. You were not lured in by tales of an incredible character creator, teased about what might be coming from previous games, told this was a sequel to an immersive fantasy RPG series in a beloved fantasy world where the defining studio mechanic was CHOICES MATTER, even when they changed a lot of other things from title to title. In P5/FFXVI you were Clive, you were Joker, you were playing out their story. They were not direct sequels to anything. I'm loathe to be seen as a mindless critic who just wants to shit on things, but a part of me does feel emotionally manipulated for $$$. I still resent how much hype was built for the game by maligning the previous ones (we're fixing Inquisition's mistakes!!).

I'm back to my mission of finishing the game I paid for, enjoy what I can, and get my Solavellan ending scene cause I'm down BAD for literally the only ship I have ever shipped🧍🏻‍♀️I appreciate that it was included. But also - wow does it exacerbate what wasn't included for everyone else's choices.

Something I hate is how everyone immediately jumped on the Baldur's Gate 3 comparisons - BG3 was a life changing game for me, but it's not perfect, and the comparisons are not fair. The one thing I will say is that when I first played BG3, despite its issues and the later criticisms of how Larian reacted to pressure from fans, I remember my earliest impression was - it feels good to be respected as a player. I didn't feel the game was talking down to me, and I got SO much for what I paid for (700 hours baybeee). Jaheira and Minsc were included as companions in homage to the previous games. Yes, they did Viconia dirty, nothing is perfect - but for example, Jaheira would tell you about her husband Khalid from the original games, which came out in 1998 and 2000. There was a lot of world building/easter eggs that not everyone was familiar with or even noticed, because not every player played BG1 and 2, or were familiar with DND 5e - but it was included. Drizzt Do’urden was mentioned ffs, they didn’t overthink about who read those books or not. I’m aware of my biases and I may very well be looking through rose tinted glasses, but I did not feel like the information was presented like I was dumb, or "ah they'll never understand this - SCRAP IT". It just feels like it’s there to honour the past and out of love for the world Larian were playing in.

—> edit to say that I do notice and enjoy the codex entries, callbacks to Tevinter Nights, Masked Empire, the older games. I wish that care and detail was woven into the main story and overall end product and not just background fluff. I know others are satisfied with those additions, wish that were me. I saw a tweet saying that every callback to a previous game or storyline actually pissed them off even more lol, I relate.

I don't feel that respect for the player in DATV, I'm sorry. There is love there, but as hard as I try, it feels like it's there despite of the overall design of the game, not part of it. I keep remembering interviews before the game was released and things that were promised, and I don't see it. At all. No more meaningless fetch quests!! Most companion-focused game! The quests are largely boring or formulaic, but addictive and fun because they are so packed with mindless combat that my brain enjoys. Sometimes it feels like filler - we didn't know what to add here, FIGHT! You unlocked a poignantly named gate in the Crossroads? NO STORY MORE FIGHT! And I'm eating it up, let me not be a hypocrite, I have 80 hours in the game. But personally, it feels designed to pad out this beautiful, sometimes fun, but bitterly shallow game. I can't even go into companion specifics because I have nothing to say, no story I want to analyze. Some have grown on me, but there is no bite or nuance to the writing that compels me and I have no urge to know more. In the previous DA games I would take the long route wherever I went just to get more banter from my companions, and I was instantly interested in them, even if I disliked them. I've seen the comments, I tried, I don't think it's because "I haven't spent enough time" with the DATV companions.

The level design of long narrow corridors, which do remind me of DA2 and FFXVI, has become so predictable to me that I almost always know exactly where I'm going to find loot. So it becomes this admittedly satisfying run of grabbing and fighting to the end point, getting the dopamine hits of collecting pointless stuff, but not really taking in the environments and enjoying the adventure. The level design is not immersive. These do not feel like real cities or real people, and that was intentional. It feels like “levels”, not a World. No one reacts to a single thing you do. Even in the ultra minimalist style of Zelda BOTW, townspeople would react to things you did. Sometimes I walk up to yet another obvious fight arena where the enemies are just chilling, waiting for me while standing still - almost like they're on shift at a haunted house LOL. I can imagine the Venatori stubbing out a cigarette, "C'mon guys, she's here, showtime". The funny part is this has all been seen before in older games, and it never bothered me. My own expectations and overhype might be to blame, but it feels like a big step back when so many games are stepping forward. Me = clown

I keep going back to my first reaction when the disappointment hit me. It feels like being given Persona 5 Strikers or Hyrule Warriors, and told that it's the sequel to the actual RPG. It's fun, it wears the skin of the thing you like that makes you happy, but stops there.

Other things I shake my fist at

Cheap ass The 6th Sense ass Varric death. Yes, yes, Solas villain arc whatever - it was cheap. Way to honour a multi-game beloved character and the player, even if the time had come for him to die in the story.

No, I cannot find a single redeeming reaction from a companion that makes Varric dying make sense in hindsight, except that they are all made of cardboard. I saw comments saying on a second playthrough it's clear Harding is in mourning - sorry, I don't see it.

So. Dorian, the Inquisitor, Charter, Harding, your party, Maevaris, Isabella, list goes on - not a single one of them asks about Varric or mentions his death? Expresses condolences? Nothing? Cheap. Even if Solas was playing with your mind, doesn't it make the overall characters in the game seem even more wooden and unrealistic to the player? It was not the gotcha they seem to think it is.

When the novelty of the cameos and the emotion associated wore off, they were just flat and felt random. Cassandra should have been there, doing Seeker shit (my WIFE). Ok no cameo? Casual dialogue with Emmrich about having a Nevarran in the Inquisition (or as the Divine?!) Lucanis info dumping about Josephine as an Antivan, Zevran as a Crow, nvm, time for a coffee joke. Merrill, eluvian queen, how is she a nonentity? Habibi Fenris should have been in the Shadow Dragons, spitting on the ground after being approached by Solas to join his uprising (lol what uprising amirite). Ok I'm cooking hire me Bioware 🍳 but at least they can remain untainted by the Isabella Treatment (tm)

This leads into the yeeting of the Keep, world states, choices, and hypocrisy around claiming to want to level the playing field for new players. No, all I can see is - it was treated as a buffet that they picked from as it suited. This is the one disappointment I will never let go of. Facsimile's of beloved character cameos were tossed in, you could not really talk to them outside of what limited dialogue you were allowed. Certain world states are now canon apparently - Dorian being recruited in the Inquisition, Morrigan drinking from the Well etc. You want a reboot and you've committed to tossing the choices and burning down Thedas (literally)? Go down with GLORY! Have all the previous main characters/companions alive. Have them all mentioned, even in passing. A portrait on a wall. Say goodbye to them, get your reboot. Honour what you built your business on. But yeah, Emmrich and Harding get to have their picnic in Fereldan fml bye

The argument of: well, the games are old now, it shouldn't matter. Ah - not too old to capitalize on the IP and DA name? Not too old to use some cameos to lure old players? The argument of - it was too many choices to track. Ok cut them down, but don't go scorched earth? 3 choices, mostly irrelevant to those who don't care about Solas (could never be me), and then literally telling you everything else in the South and Weisshaupt is now razed to the ground. But also the illuminati did everything.

FINALLY - the Inquisition should have been in charge of the hunt for Solas, hill I will die on. Fine, have Rook, but Inquisitor should have been the other protagonist. The people... who knew Solas best and betrayed by him... who were in an organization to save the world... Why did we have that cunty dagger stabbed into the map of Tevinter cliffhanger to have the Inquisitor reduced to a pyjama wearing husk BIOWAAAAAAAARE

It's this stuff that builds up, and makes me think - does this game hate its fanbase and source material that much? I very obviously need to go touch some grass 🤠

I keep engaging with Reddit, Tumblr, Twitter - all to my detriment because it makes me feel like there's something wrong with me for not loving it, all over again. I also desperately have a fic in me I would love to write, an ode to the story in my head from years of loving the world of Thedas, a love letter to my Lavellan and others - but idk what to do with the post-DATV world atp. I just want to get through Act 2/3, get my Solavellan smooch, ignore the ~secret Illuminati ending, and be grateful I'm not a Mass Effect fan so I don't have to go through this again 🐣

[ms-katonic-of-tamriel]

The Man Called Uncle

Uncle Cicero as the Herald of Andraste. AU where Justinia brings him along to the Conclave... and he's the one who picks up the orb using telekinesis. The orb's power is already reversing Tranquillity, and Uncle gets a good look at the mysterious orb that's healing him, and starts going a little Gollum over it.

"Sacrifice the Divine if you want, Nine know I'm not putting myself out for the Chantry after what they did. I'm keeping this. Now, I'm no wizard but how does this work. Like this?"

Manages to trigger the explosion, but with a twist. No Anchor in his hand as he wasn't physically holding it... but the power activates his dormant dragon blood, and a Dragonborn can take the power like a dragon's soul. So here he is, in the Fade, newly Dragonborn, Tranquillity broken, and the Anchor's power has done two other noteworthy things: rejuvenate him physically and give him knowledge of the Shouts to open and close the Fade. And it's him they find sitting out in the Temple ruins, having just Shouted the Fade shut.

Leliana was not OK with him being here anyway. She was not coping with having him around, not OK with him being there every time she wanted to talk to Justinia, and then she saw the explosion and thought he'd died and felt horrible... and now he's prime suspect in the Fade explosion. Thankfully, no one else knows he's her father. He does though, and he's not Tranquil anymore and he's staring at her and...

Thankfully he's better able to control himself against Cassandra and snaps at her that they'd better not kill him, he's the only one who can seal Fade rifts. Which they saw him do, and so Cassandra ends up escorting him to the summit. Much against Leliana's wishes because he's an old man!

More suspicion because how are you suddenly so healthy, Cesaire.

"Perhaps Andraste healed me when she handed me out of the Fade and taught me the words to close Rifts."

Cassandra would have hit him if Leliana hadn't been right there. As it is, she's stuck with the mouthy little gobshite all the way up the Temple path. These two will never get on.

Solas can tell, just tell, he's absorbed the Anchor somehow. He just doesn't know how, and Cesaire's telling no one. So he pretends friendship and tries to get closer to find out, but unfortunately for him the one-time finest bard in Orlais can tell he's asking too many questions. Cue a lot of verbal fencing around each other, several dream sequences in which they visit each other, and much suspicion on both sides as they try to figure the other out. Cesaire's near certain Solas knows what was behind all this.

(If a Tamriel link is required, a certain other Dragonborn who can dream-walk might start sliding into both Solas and Cesaire's dreams. Whether it's the one from Cicero Dragonborn or Prodigal Dragonborn is unknown, but either might work rather well. We can assume Those Across The Sea are active and faithfully sending details on all this to the Ruby Throne which is Definitely Taking An Interest.)

Cesaire actually does remember what happened in the explosion, because the worst had already happened to him and he just plain wasn't scared, just hyped on adrenaline the whole time. Is he telling anyone? Hell no. (Leliana doesn't need to know about the abuse he might have screamed at Justinia in the Fade, or the stabbing threats.) Does this mean we can skip the Fade sequence in Here Lies The Abyss? Hell yes.

Varric gets on with him like a house on fire, as expected. They do actually have stuff to do other than write musicals, but the friendship is still there. Cesaire is extremely fond of the dwarf who didn't want to be there either. Varric's fascinated by the cheerful rogue who reminds him of Hawke. They both bond over complaining about Cassandra.

Cullen is far too easy for Cesaire to drive up the wall, and he does. Repeatedly. This will change once Cesaire's officially Inquisitor - Cesaire isn't about to make his life a misery once Cullen is officially his subordinate. He has some principles... and is surprisingly understanding about the lyrium addiction.

Josephine! Cesaire adores her. Cesaire is the epitome of charming gentleman from day one and flirts constantly. They bond over a shared hatred of the cold and taste for the finer things in life, and meet regularly to gossip about the Orlesian nobility. Leliana is horrified, needless to say.

Sera? Recruited immediately, Cesaire thinks she's hilarious. Vivienne... he's a bit suspicious of but recruits her anyway despite himself. They do actually start to get on. Shared sense of humour, it turns out, plus they're both skilled at the Game. Mutual respect does develop.

Blackwall - something is off there, but he doesn't suspect the truth about him until it happens and is livid he got blindsided by it. Despite that, they were friends once. Despite that, Blackwall gets liberated. Despite that, they end up still friends afterwards. Blackwall figures expecting the most disreputable rogue in Orlais to be a paragon of virtue and upholder of the law was too much.

Iron Bull - well, of course he's a spy. Of course! And he just... that is not how it works, Iron Bull. You're not meant to tell the organisation you're spying on that you're a spy. Sighs and agrees to the deal then has to face Leliana who... thinks it's a good idea and something they can use to maybe feed information back to the Qun. Cue bonding experience. As for Bull, he's very entertaining to have around, but Cesaire is always watching, watching, watching for the dumb merc mask to slip. (He tells Bull to save the Chargers. He saw enough to realise the whole thing was a setup, and decides he's seen enough of the Qun to reach a conclusion. It's in keeping of the general theme of the story that personal connections trump abstract principles.)

Dorian - DORIAN! Kindred spirit right there. If Cesaire wasn't straight, he'd have kissed him, as it is, Dorian is his son now. Witty comments all over the place, elaborate roasting before sharing a laugh over their purloined liqueurs, these two are having a fine old time.

Cole - Cole knows Too Much. Suspicion! All the same, he's young, sad-eyed, alone in the world, in need of guidance... Cesaire doesn't exactly trust him but doesn't dislike him either.

Sides with the mages. Offers them full allyship, flirts with Fiona even. She's not having it. He actually respects her more for that.

Cure for Tranquillity - he's not letting that one go. Pieces it together from what Cassandra's willing to share, discusses it with Dorian and reluctantly Solas, starts curing a few Tranquil in Skyhold. Mixed results, but overall they're ride or die for the Black Rose after and all hate the Chantry.

High Dragons - help, why do the High Dragons all seem to like him. One of them licked him. Do they think he's a baby dragon or something?

Halamshiral - Someone is having a Great Time! No, don't bother with secrecy, just have yourself announced as the Black Rose, get everyone's attention immediately, what do you mean now the entire ball wants to talk to me. Goodness, is that the Dowager, I haven't seen you for years, madame! How this goes is anyone's guess, but he always had a soft spot for elves, so perhaps he does go with his daughter's idea. Court approval is through the roof within five minutes of arriving, so basically he can do whatever he wants.

Cassandra's max disapproval scene might actually activate at the ball.

Of course, the real meat here is Cesaire and Leliana's relationship as father and daughter try to come to an understanding. It's not easy but he does love her. He doesn't stop trying. They do have conversations, both about spywork, the Game, Orlais past and present, Leliana's mother... and Leliana's pet nugs. Cesaire loves nugs, they're so stupid with their little hands and stupid little faces. Leliana promptly gets some of hers sent to Skyhold and gives him a pet one. She wasn't expecting to see the Black Rose cry over a nug, but he adores it.

The Unhardening of Leliana has been going on as a Thing all story, but it comes to a head at the Chantry, where we get a rerun of AoD and Cesaire telling her not to turn into him... and her hugging him and telling him a man who loves nugs cannot be all bad. Also he has been making the world a better place all this time, no?

"I have been trolling the Chantry out of spite. It is NOT the same thing!"

Leliana smiles and kisses him on the cheek. She tells him it needed it. He does end up supporting her for Divine, but only after a long discussion about her plans and does she really want this. Otherwise he'd have supported Vivienne because it would be funny.

If we go the Tamriel inclusive angle, Miraak may well turn up in person... or may just remain acting via dreams instead, but either way he'll figure out fairly quickly the link to Cicero the Younger, and an uncle-nephew reunion might happen too.

After it's all over, the Slayer of Corypheus who is also the Divine's beloved father could go anywhere he wants, but it's probably retirement to Antiva for him with Josephine. The Montilyets never in their wildest dreams expected the Divine's father to turn up and ask for their daughter's hand in marriage but they can hardly say he's not got standing. Also their financial status changes overnight what with half of Thedas wanting to curry favour.

Cesaire LaRose lives to nearly 120 years old and dies surrounded by Montilyet children and grandchildren. Just long enough for the elderly Divine Victoria to name the next age the Nug Age.

[helbertinelli]

enamour me anidala 🥺

I wrote about Padme finding love and showing her perspective mainly on falling in love and having a family. It's mostly canon, except the ending because I want the Skywalkers to be happy.

--

Padme laid awake, staring at the clock on her nightstand. She was too anxious to sleep as she would soon have to travel to Coruscant and try to convince the rest of the Senate to vote against the Military Creation Act. There was one thought at the back of her mind that started to bother her more and more and it was brought upon by her conversation with Sola earlier that day.

Deep down Padme knew Sola was right about her wanting more from her life. Being a senator and being able to help others was rewarding in and of itself, but Padme would be lying if she claimed she never wanted to have a family of her own or at least someone to share her life with. However, even if she tried, finding love was not an easy task. Most of the men she met or knew were politicians like her, most of them had their own agendas and their interest in her was only present to serve a purpose. Most of them were deceitful and would try to sell her sweet nothings to get her on their side. Others just wanted her as a prize, because although she was no longer Queen of Naboo, her name still held a lot of power. How would she ever be able to find someone who would love her for herself? Someone who would want to be with Padme and not with Amidala.

She thought about her sister's marriage and how happy Darred and Sola were together and how perfect their family was. The thought started to hurt as it made Padme think that that life would never be hers. The more she thought about it, the more hopeless she felt about having that kind of happiness in her own life. Sola and Darred were soulmates, so were her mother and her father, and both of them found their love already by the time they were Padme's age. Part of her felt like she waited too long and now it was too late or maybe she was never destined to find love. The other part of her felt like she was being silly that tears pooled in her eyes at the thought of ending up alone for the rest of her life and her work for the Republic was everything she needed. Still, as she closed her eyes to try to sleep, tears streamed down her cheeks and she could not help but feel even more alone as she laid in her oversized bed.

--

Anakin made sure his feelings for Padme were clear. Although she tried to reject his advances and to deny her own feelings for him, Padme could not help but feel good when she was around Anakin. He knew how to make her smile and how to get her to be herself. She could just be Padme around him. He knew her only as Padme ever since their first meeting and the fact that she was a Queen did not change his perception of her. She had always been Padme, his friend. Now that they were reunited, she was reminded of why they became such fast friends ten years ago on Tatooine in the first place. Anakin was easy to talk to, he was open, and genuine, and good, and he had no hidden interests in her. He was one of the few people, aside from her own family, who viewed her as a person and not as a symbol or as a job.

Being with Anakin brought out the best in her. His eagerness to do good and to help others only made her strive for that even more. And since he started guarding her, it seemed like Anakin was trying his best to make her smile and see her happy everyday. How could she not love him back when everything he did screamed to her that they were meant to be.

She had her doubts at first about Anakin's feelings for her being caused by his infatuation to her and his desire for her being only a physical one. They were however quickly dispelled in the following days she spent with Anakin on Naboo. It was more than obvious that Anakin loved her for more than just her appearance and in fact he found everything about her interesting and worthy of love. Even when Padme's more abrasive side came out, he was more than willing to adapt to her suggestions and he respected her decisions.

By the time they reached Geonosis, it became obvious that Anakin not only loved Padme, but he trusted her completely. And when they got captured, she felt that hopelessness again. She realized that they were most likely about to die and she was the one who convinced him to come to this planet in the first place. They were about to die and she spent all the time they had together trying to deny her feelings for him and trying to convince him to do the same. And now she felt hopeless because she almost had that love she dreamed of, the kind that Sola and Darred had, and she tried so hard to make it go away. She had tears in her eyes as she finally confessed her love to Anakin and when their lips finally met, there was no more denying that they should be together.

--

Despite Anakin losing his arm, both him and Padme escaped the arena alive and they were now back on Naboo. As they laid on Padme's bed and she looked deep into his blue eyes, Padme decided that she would not want to spend any more time apart from him. Anakin was also sharing her thoughts, but before he could find the right words to express that, Padme bluntly stated that they should be married. It did not matter that they would have to hide and live a lie, none of that would come close to how happy both of them would be as husband and wife. Anakin knew that too and he quickly said yes. The rest of the day was spent putting together the wedding and the following day the two of them got married in the same spot they shared their first kiss. As Padme looked into Anakin's eyes and he was staring back into hers, they both understood that they were always destined to be together.

--

With the war being finally over, Anakin and Padme were able to leave Coruscant behind and live on Naboo. They returned to Varykino, which was now to be their home. Varykino was indeed special to them, it was the place where they fell in love, where they got married, and now it was going to be the place where they will raise their family. While Naboo had always been Padme's home, she had to trade her family's home for the palace for her eight years as Queen and then, as senator, she was constantly travelling between Naboo and Coruscant. Anakin called the Jedi temple his home and before that it was the small hut in which him and his mother were living on Tatooine. The two of them did spend time in Padme's apartment on Coruscant, but during the war it was difficult for them to live there for more than a few days before they were pulled to different worlds. However, despite how little time they spent there, both of them understood that the apartment was the closest thing they had to a home. Now it was different. They were able to stay at the lake villa as much as they wanted, there was nothing to keep them apart anymore, so finally they would have a real home at Varykino.

It was also at Varykino where Luke and Leia were born. Neither Anakin nor Padme expected that she was carrying twins, but they were more than happy when they found out. There were small adjustments that needed to be done to the nursery, but that did not matter too much. As they held their children, Anakin placed a kiss on Padme's temple. He told her how happy he was that they were all together and healthy and that his nightmares, that he was so worried about, never came true.

--

A few years have passed since Luke and Leia were born. The couple and their twins were back in the meadow at the lake villa. Padme was lying on the grass, on a blanket. Luke had his head propped on her right arm, being fast asleep. Her left shoulder was taken by her husband who was also sleeping. Leia was sleeping on Anakin's chest, clutching her father's shirt in her fist as she was snoring lightly. Anakin's left hand was holding Leia, making sure she doesn't roll off, while his right hand was rested on Padme's swollen belly.

Padme had been happy for a long time now, but in this moment she remembered how afraid she felt all those years ago, thinking she would never have love or a family, and that she was meant for nothing more than to serve the Republic. She smiled thinking about how silly all those fears were in hindsight and how lucky she was to have Anakin. And Luke and Leia. And the new baby she was carrying.

She placed a kiss on Anakin's forehead before she closed her eyes to rest. She knew he loved her, all of her, even the parts of herself that she disliked or was insecure about. And she loved him in the same way, too.

[emerald-amidst-gold]

I'm not immune to the fluff 💖

Hand-holding 32. not really paying attention, both doing something else, but still holding hands Touching 22. falling asleep on the other’s shoulder

AWWW YES! My fluff trap has worked! >:D

Some drabbles! Just for you, friend! <3

Their relationship was confusing for some. Well, most, if Fane was being honest, but he didn't really care what anyone else thought. Not many relationships in this day and age held a candle to what he and Solas had fostered, and that wasn't the fault of those who didn't understand. It was how the world was, and their relationship was complexity incarnate, so confusion was a typical reaction.

And many, many people didn't understand the concept of intimacy in sheer presence. Not all love was shown through acts of intercourse or raw carnal desire. Sometimes, it was as simple as an open palm and a small smile as two hands became as interlocked as a masterwork lock. Even better was when neither party thought of combining tumblers, the act instinctual, the purpose wanted in thought.

And that was very much what depicted their acts of intimacy.

"If I get one more letter from Halamshiral talking about my eyes, I will seriously gouge them out.", Fane growled as said eyes flitted across a piece of parchment; a letter in the most refined and disgusting filigree he had ever seen. He didn't get paid enough for this job.

"I would advise against self mutilation, vhenan.", Solas quipped from beside him, the two of them situated side by side as the mage's desk in the rotunda. His sky was currently reading his own text, but from the view of a small smirk and lax expression, it was far more calming than what Fane was currently having to deal with.

"Just try and stop me.", Fane said with a sneer before flicking the letter away unceremoniously, sighing. "What time is it, anyhow?" It felt late and he knew that because of how his marked hand felt numb and heavier than a dead weight, but also...warm?

"I am unsure.", Solas responded, throwing off his confusion from gentle heat. "The candle is worn down to about half, so I would hazard a guess and say close to midnight." The assessment even, concise, even as the voice that sounded them held the desire to sleep in its lilt.

Fane blinked. "Midnight?", he balked, the mage only letting out a hum in affirmation. "By anything that's holy, Solas, why didn't you--", he went to raise his left hand to pinch the bridge of his nose in exasperation, but found that it was...heavy? And again, warm? "What the..? Why are we holding hands?", the question slow as his gaze shot straight down to their loosely joined hands and then back up and then back down.

When had they interlocked?

Solas let out an airy chuckle, his head lulling to the side, eyes picking up from his book to give him a look that said, 'Truly?' before the hand adjoined to his own gave a light squeeze.

"Truthfully, I don't know the answer to that question.", Solas admitted, looking down at their joined hands, too with a small smile. "Perhaps it was merely instinctive. I find myself reaching for you without thinking.", more admittance falling like the freshest rain upon a warm brick.

"Do you now?", Fane teased as he looked back up to gaze into the only sky he would ever know from now until the end. Solas hummed, lifting his head back up, the same small smile still in place.

"I do.", he said without hesitation before something akin to shame flashed into blue and grey, blessed warmth beginning to unravel with his slightly larger appendage. "But I can stop if you--"

Fane shook his head, cutting Solas off. "Don't start with that.", he admonished, pulling the retreating hand back to entwine them tighter together before picking up the next letter in his small pile. "You can hold it for as long as you want, my sky.", he said before shifting his gaze away from slightly wide orbs. "...And you're not the only one who finds themselves reaching out. You beckon for the dragon above to land, and I yearn to draw the sky near. So, don't worry about making me uncomfortable because I'm anything but that."

Heat blazed across his cheeks as the words left his mouth, intensely screwing his eyes on the letter in his free hand, but not retaining any of the words. Damn it all! Why did he always get so flustered?! He was just saying the normal shit he always did! So, why did it--!

"Thank you, my dragon.", the words of gratitude sounding like a literal prayer as the voice that uttered them dropped to a reverent whisper, the hand around his reinforcing its grip around his own like molten silverite. "Thank you.."

Fane huffed out an amused breath of air, giving his molten encasing a reciprocating squeeze, further solidifying the bond between them.

"No, thank you. For everything."

****

The Emprise du Lion was cold, that much was a given, but wasn't so bad for Fane. Two layers of fur was more than enough to keep him comfortably warm. Anymore than that and he would melt, his inner core still inherently the same as the one he had possessed as a dragon.

However, others were far less fortunate. Namely, a creature, that for all intents and purposes, should have insulated fur of their own.

"Cold?", Fane asked plainly as he meandered his way over to where Solas was sitting on the log by the fire of the Inquisition's latest reclaimed camp, face calm, but a light shudder through strong, but slender shoulders betrayed the true state of his sky.

"Not terribly.", Solas responded easily, but subtly tried to shift his furs around so as not to make Fane aware. Sadly, keen observational skills and a pinpointing nature were his aces in this particular deck of veiled strength.

"You're cold.", Fane stated matter of fact, stretching one long leg over the log to plop down next to his sky, chuckling a bit when a lightly shivering form instinctively leaned into his own, seeking warmth. "How you think you can hide shit from me is a mystery."

Solas chuckled, actively resting his head against one of his fur pauldrons with a quiet, but content sigh. Fane only rolled his eyes, smirking. For an elf that prided himself on keeping a poised and reserved demeanor, he sure did crumble when around him. Though, that was exactly what Fane sought every time he and Solas managed to get some time alone.

"Old habits are hard to kill, ma'isenatha. Ir abelas.", Solas murmured from where he was nestled on his shoulder, the sun setting in sky-like orbs as they shut, blocking out the orange glow from the fire before them. "It is simply more frigid than I expected."

"I imagine for you, it is.", Fane murmured back, rolling his head to the side to rest it against the top of Solas', who let out another, more tired sigh in response. "Tired, too?" It was a foolish question, he knew, but he was trying to use his voice more. Even if to state the obvious.

Solas nodded a bit. "The red lyrium is especially potent here. It makes it hard to concentrate, thus I expend more energy pulling magic through the Veil.", he explained, no longer shivering form coming closer to where their knees were touching. Fane didn't even flinch, the layers of his armor and cloak making his scars blessedly numb.

"Then sleep.", Fane ordered softly, lightly nuzzling his cheek against the mage's head. "I've been asking a lot of you these last two months, so rest. I'll take first watch." He wasn't going to be sleeping anytime soon, anyways. The red lyrium was causing him issues as well. Murmurs in the back of his mind, and echoes of blackness with crimson lights in the distance making it hard to keep his rage in check.

"No, that is unfair on--", Solas began to protest, as per usual, but Fane silenced him with a growl and with a jerk of his arm, fluttering out his cloak to wrap it around his stubborn wolf. The reaction was instantaneous as the mage practically melted into his side with a truly exhausted sigh.

"Go to sleep, you old fool.", Fane said, leaning down a bit to lay a light kiss to a lax temple. "I'm fine. The cold doesn't bother me, and neither does less than two hours of sleep. So, relax and dream." Solas needed the rest more than he did, and he would grant him that.

The mage sighed. "I do wish you would stop calling me that.", the words slurred with approaching sleep, but still held gentle teasing in silk.

Fane shrugged, lightly so as not to jostle Solas too much. "I state what I know.", he said. "And you're old."

"You are older than I.", his sky replied, inching closer and closer to the Fade as his form leaned into him more, the cheek buried in his fur going lax as usually calm breathing slowed even more. Fane smiled a bit at that, bringing his emerald cloak in more to shield his wolf from soft gusts of chilly air.

"Only by about two thousand years. Give or take.", he quipped quietly before laying another soft kiss to Solas' temple. "Now, shut up for once, and sleep. You can glare and raise your eyebrow at me later." Solas only let out a noncommittal hum at his words before Fane saw his face go completely lax, sleep wrapping around a tenacious mind like how his cloak was his physical body.

Fane smile a bit more. "Sleep well, my sky.", he whispered in a voice he only reserved for the one of utmost devotion. "Ar lath ma.", unusual Elvhen rolling from his tongue as he repositioned his head to lightly rest it against the top of Solas' again.

And sadly, he missed the tender smile that rarely graced a stoic face, his words reaching far past the boundaries of the Veil, the Fade, and perhaps, even the Void. The sky would rest in the wings of a dragon. No matter where their mind would take them for their heart, their soul, knew what the mind sometimes did not.

[viviae]

can you like. tell me a little about dragon age. seeing your posts about it has got me interested in playing but i have little to no clue what it actually is

Boy can I explain nonny <3 This is a bit long so strap in and im sorry

Dragon Age is (currently) a three game series composed of Dragon Age: Origins (PS3, Xbox 360/Xbox One, PC), Dragon Age: II (PS3, Xbox 360/Xbox One, PC), and Dragon Age: Inquisition (PS4, Xbox One, PC) and its really unique because of its selling point that your actions impact the games as you progress. Like if you kill one character in one game they’ll stay dead through the rest of the series which makes you feel lived in the story and that your actions matter. Dragon Age is also an RPG so a roleplaying game kind of along the same lines of DnD where you get to make and play your own character. And yes there are romances and you can be gay.

The First Game of the series is Dragon Age: Origins where you choose from a selection of six unique (technically seven) origins or backgrounds for your character. You can be anywhere from a human noble or a Dalish elf, the unique elven culture in Dragon Age of nomadic clans dedicating to reclaiming their past. But eventually, from the events in your origin, you wind up a member of a secretive and elite order known as the Grey Wardens whose duty is to protect the world from the Blight.

The Blight is this spread of a horrible disease known as the Taint but is characterized by the presence of Darkspawn, a kind of zombie like creature who exists only to destroy the world. Grey Wardens take the heavy duty of protecting the world from the Blight, which have nearly wiped all of humanity multiple times, at all costs. And currently the country of Ferelden is under going a blight and due to events you wind up the only Grey Warden with your companion Alistair to save the world and reunite Ferelden which had fallen under a civil war.

Along Origins you meet many interesting characters. Alistair is your friendly co-warden who has a mysterious parentage that he hides under his happy go lucky attitude. In contrast to Alistair is the witch Morrigan who is your favorite goth swamp queen who would insult you and you thank her. In addition you meet your chaotic bi rogues Zevran and Leliana. Leliana is a nun who is on the run and hiding from a dark past and she is suspiciously good at murder. And Zevran is not at all hiding his aptitude for murder as an Assassin for hire who tried and failed to kill you but who can ignore that charming bastard?

Dragon Age II follows a much smaller story of a Ferelden refuge who had escaped from the Blight to the city of Kirkwall named Hawke. Unlike in origins where you get to pick your background 2 limits you to Hawke but fear not, Hawke is a loveable bastard and you can still customize them. Throughout DA2 you get to experience all the delights Kirkwall has to offer: Demons, crime, corrupt cops, and fighting your way to survive in this city and make a name for yourself.

Where Origins sets the stage for the world DA2 you are the actor in that play - literally the game is divided into 3 acts that take place over a span of 7 years. DA2′s main conflict is the argument of Mages vs Templars, as in DA’s lore while there are those who are born with magic they are forced to live in prisons policed by the Templar order and the church. You explore the more political arguments of; are the Templars right in their fears of magic as Kirkwall is filled to the brim with corrupt mages or do Mages deserve the chance to live and prove themselves freely from their prisons.

Your romancable companions in DA2 are all bisexuals as the true theme of DA2 is: be gay do crime. You have the foils of Anders: the runaway mage who fled from the prisons the mages are housed in and is determined to bring mages to freedom, and Fenris: the runaway escaped slave who curses magic for only inflicting pain and suffering in his life and wants his warnings to be heard about the dangers magic bring. In addition you also have Merrill, your cute but terrifying Dalish mage who would probably murder you with a cute smile and then go oops. And of course, my pirate wife Isabela, who lives a life free from commitment and is dedicated to the idea everyone should have a good time no matter the cost. Also while not romancable Hawke’s bff Varric deserves every ounce of praise he gets as never before has the energy of “two idiots sharing a braincell” ever been so well adapted.

Then finally we reach Inquisition. After the events of DA2 it triggers a full on war between the Mages and Templars that is destroying the land and causing severe damage that neither side can handle anymore. Desperate for an end to the conflict the Divine (err... fantasy pope) calls for a meeting on both sides... only for the entire thing to literally explode. Killing everyone present and causing a hole in the sky which now means demons are raining like cats and dogs you are the only one to survive. In Inquisition you can once again return to pick between unique backgrounds like in Origins but you don’t get to play through those backgrounds sadly.

You now possess something on your left hand which gives you the ability to patch up the hole in the sky that is pissing demons and due to being the only survivor everyone is incredibly confused about you. Eventually the Inquisition is formed around you, the character they are calling the Herald of Andraste (Andraste is fantasy Jesus) due to your ability to seal the holes. The mystery unfolds as over the course of the game you learn what caused the explosion, how you are connected, and what exactly the mark on your hand is.

DAI has the largest numbers of romance options so I’m gonna give a quick bullet point list for them all

Iron Bull (Pansexual, All Races): A Qunari (think Tiefling but big and beefy) mercenary who is far more clever than he lets on, as well as being the rope top dom of your dreams. Literally! Bull’s romance is a really healthy bdsm relationship if you are interested its very well done

Josephine (Bisexual, All Races): Your loveable ambassador and advisor for the inquisition. She is a workaholic noble who is a tried and true classic romance. Sweep her off her feet and duel for her hand all while navigating the nobility

Dorian (Gay, All Races): The flamboyant pariah rock star mage, he demands attention whenever he walks into the room. Although he wants to be all talk and no emotions make no mistake he is making puppy eyes at you the entire time and gets deeply offended if you say he is. Also not going to lie Dorian is the best piece of gay male rep in gaming history.

Cassandra (Male-only, all Races): Your stern warrior wife who is all serious no funny business... expect she is a bleeding heart romantic who reads horrible smut for fun. You wish to COURT HER?? I mean... if you want 👉👈 she won’t say no...

Blackwall (Female-only, All Races): Your weird dilf who wants desperately to prove himself every step of the way and help people. He is a constable for the Grey Wardens, but all the details on him seem murky... Ah well I’m sure its nothing, the Grey Wardens are a secretive order after all.

Sera (Lesbian, All Races): My wild child, monster chugging, beer guzzling, arrow shooting lesbian. Sera is here for a fun time and not a serious one, she’ll always make sure to keep you humble and ensure you aren’t getting to big for your breeches. 

Cullen (Female-Only, Human and Elf only): Cullen’s the Inquisition’s commander who oohh boy is steeped in a lot of trauma. Cullen’s actually a character you get to know through out the series and see just all the horrible nonsense he’s been through. But he is your tragic self loathing... he isn’t princely but he is your adorkable charming

Solas (Female-Only, Elf Only): The humble apostate who joins the Inquisition out of curiosity of the breech, he is an expert on what the hell is going on with that hole in the sky. However, he holds a wisdom that goes far deeper than your typical apostate. Smooth talking and refined he carries a heavy cloud over him.

I left out a lot and all the nonsense with books and what have you but this is the easiest overview of the series I can offer. It’s main selling points is the deep story and characters throughout the games. And of course who doesn’t love the ability to make and roleplay your own character as a bonus? The games are bit of a flawed gem and Origins in my ugly child but they are truly a delight if you are interested

[lavellander]

more bc i am unstoppable now

I Am Thinking About My DA Protagonists’ Taste In Romantic Partners both their “usual” type and why they’re drawn to their canon love interest (and the hypothetical ones from other games). i expect no one to give a shit abt this except me lsdfjd but im on a roll and its a good exercise or whatever. i’m sure i’ll use it eventually?????

once again. i know no one gives a fuck but if anyone DOES happen to want to torture themselves and read this pls know all my ocs are bi except zaniyah, who is a lesbian<3

sarenan: 

general disclaimer that “in the circle love is just a game” etc etc etc so while she definitely is more inclined to romantic relationships, she only really had friends w benefits at most

she likes smart people! she likes fun people, she likes people who can get on board with her fucked up sense of humor. she’s witty and charming and loves to flirt just to flirt, and in the circle that wasn’t much of an issue lol. leliana is the first person she ever feels like...foot-in-mouth around, bc suddenly she likes and is attracted to someone and...that’s allowed? it’s all very foreign to her but she falls Real Hard, Real Fast

in a hypothetical da2 romance obviously isabela is extremely hot but also sarenan canonically has a foursome w her, leli, and zev so dLFKKDS it makes sense that bela’s the love interest of choice<3 (but also i think it would be like...friends-to-friends with benefits-to-lovers lol)

in a hypothetical dai romance once again josie is very hot and also so sweet and cute and delightful !!!!! idk if its just me but i see similarities bw origins leli and josie so again it just makes sense to me that josie is the LI for an inq romance :’)

(BUT for the most part. it is pretty hard for me to imagine sarenan w anyone but leli, bc they are the only couple i have that like. makes sense. lmfao)

maeve: 

actually doesnt often have romantic relationships? she has ~flings~ and rarely catches feelings. she describes her type as “anyone sexy” 

(her and isabela do in fact have a brief Thing but strictly no strings attached; this is bc i was very very adamant about romancing isabela when i played da2 and then anders fucking SNIPED me. so i incorporated it into canon i guess. lmao)

her attraction to anders is originally just “sexy tortured man” and then “sexy tortured man that gives free healthcare to poor people!!!!” and then - after it’s clear it won’t be a fwb situation - she realizes she has Actual feelings for him and is like well. its been a good run. guess i’ll die! until he reciprocates dflksdjf then they are kirkwall’s weirdest couple to everyone except themselves :’)

in a hypothetical dao romance her and zev would be classic fuckbuddies who accidentally start having a crush on each other, absolutely refuse to acknowledge it, then someone else in the friend group is like “oh my god PLEASE just kiss we are all going insane watching yall do this” <3

in a hypothetical dai romance im still torn bw sera and bull. maeve would just keep hitting on sera until sera did something about it; bull would be similar to zevran in the fuckbuddies-accidentally-caught-feelings dynamic

alani:

i feel like (depending on the size of the clan etc) alani was prob mostly involved w people she’d known almost all her life. she’s obviously attracted to other ppl who like to learn and stuff, but other than that it’s equal opportunity crushes ykwim. she doesn’t even Know she has a thing about people who are like. puzzles to be solved until solas lol

in a hypothetical dao romance she’d be drawn to alistair bc...who wouldnt be. hes adorable. they’re both warm friendly charming sunshines and i think it’d be natural for them to be drawn to one another. once she realizes he has Baggage she’s like oh. OH. i have to defend you against the world now

in a hypothetical da2 romance i thiiink it would be kinda similar to solas. like oh this bitch has a lot of emotional walls up, he’s got some real shit going on. I Like That. also mage rights, hes a sad sexy doctor, we love a revolutionary, etc. it makes sense imo

zaniyah:

similar to maeve i think she’s more of a fling person than a relationship person, but she has had a couple gfs. she’s not very comfy being super serious but she’s a good gf and is very devoted. generally speaking i think she just likes Hot Ladies but is esp drawn to quirky / weird ppl lol

in a hypothetical dao romance she’d like morrigan bc 1) she’s hot and 2) she’s standoffish lol. she’d take it upon herself to get morrigan to like her as like, a personal triumph, but then along the way realize she has a real crush on her and be like shit? fuck? (the same goes for morg. it would be an oh shit oh fuck moment on both ends)

in a hypothetical da2 romance i think her and merrill would be more like friends to lovers :’) zaniyahs immediately like “youre weird. i like you” also they bond bc dalish etc, and over time she starts liking her more and more. eventually zaniyah just cant take it anymore and kisses merrill, apologizes profusely, etc, and merrill’s like “oh. i thought we were dating?” sldkfjsLDKFJds i care them

(josie is kind of an outlier bc she’s so graceful, collected, knows what to do/say always, etc. i dont believe in love at first sight but if i did thats what zaniyah and josie would be<333)

ranae:

she doesnt like. have a type really. because she’s just been in love w her childhood best friend since forever and doesnt think of what she might like in other ppl bc well. he’s right there? she assumes they’ll be together forever, even if only platonically :( 

when she meets morrigan she’s like oh i like women too apparently. cool?? when she meets alistair shes a little put off by the fact that hes a golden retriever, then clings to him bc Trauma, then VERY begrudgingly realizes she has a crush on him but feels like shes betraying tamlen 

eventually she comes to terms w the fact that like. theres nothing she can do about tamlen unfortunately, and alistair is here and Loves Her and he’s been the only person to make her truly happy in a very long time. it takes a lot for her to think she deserves that, but she does, and the rest is history :’)

in a hypothetical da2 romance it makes perfect sense to me that she’d latch onto the other Elf Who Is Full Of Rage immediately. they are both very intense and it can put other people off sometimes but they dont really care! die mad about it, shem! etc

in a hypothetical dai romance she’d be drawn (platonically) to blackwall bc grey warden stuff, but subconsciously they both kind of feel like frauds, like they dont deserve happiness, etc; theyre both kinda brusque, at least at first, too. she just kinda sees him as a buddy til she watches him bonding w sera or with some kids or something and then shes like  😳 😳 😳 and then angry that shes like that lmao

[glacierbash]

dragon age for the fandom asks :)

 t h i r d  t i m e ‘ s  t h e  c h a r m

first time I did it on mobile, it crashed, and it didn’t save, the second I went to go hang out with my partner after i /thought/ I hit post but Apparently Didnt, so here goesssss

prefacing this with saying I played the games out of order, haven’t even managed to play da2 (haven’t been able to buy it yet :pensive:) so my opinions might not be informed as a more intense fan. Buut, still love the games and still have Opinions:tm:

First character I fell in love with: 110% Josephine. When I first saw her, I was like “If I can’t hold her hand this world will be unfixable and I will have no purpose in living anymore” and then I saw the flirt option when talking to her and lost my goddamn mind. It was so nice to see a story where there was just. No Tragedy (to an extent), no dying, it felt like I got to live out my sappy romantic dreams :’) she was my first romance in a DA (or bioware game in general) and she’ll always have a special place in my heart,,

Character I never expected to love as much as I do now: Honestly? Wynne lmao, I thought she would just be “nagging old lady” but she grew on me and to this day I still love her. Even when she was trying to keep me from doing the horizontal tango with Leliana smh /j

Character everyone loves that I don’t: Surprise Surprise, Cullen. When I first started playing Inquisition (since. again, out of order,) he was just slightly annoying to me, if a bit offputting. I didn’t wanna be around him that much, felt some of comments were. strange, so say the least, but then... Then, I played Origins. 

And I fucking hated him.

I can get why some people might like Cullen. I am not one of those people. After doing the circle quest and having to deal with his “kill all the mages” bullshit, I just... Look, I felt bad for him, but still. In my grand opinion, he shouldn’t have. Uh. Wanted to kill all the mages <3 he’s in my top 5 least favorite characters (and yes, I am aware of his addiction story, and while I still feel bad about that, I just... That doesn’t exactly “redeem” his prior actions, for lack of a better term).

Character I love that everyone else hates: I’m not sure if she gets a lot of hate, but Sera. Seeing a lesbian character who will get a happy ending made me really happy. Sure, you can... Dismiss her at any time, there’s almost no interactions that I can remember where you can be nice/understanding with her (even if the interaction gains approval) and sometimes her “my way or the highway” is really shitty (again, for lack of a better term) but still. I love her, I really do. One of my first times seeing an openly, quite unapologetic lesbian in games, and it’s still kinda important to me. I dunno. I was still trying to figure out who I was, I only recently really embraced “lesbian” as my own label, and I guess you could really attribute part of that to her. But, if she isn’t really hated, then disregard this. I’ve just seen some really nasty things people said about her.

Character I used to love but don’t anymore: Solas... And no, not because of his dreadwolf reveal. I enjoyed that! I like the thought of him as a villain! But, like... Lots of stuff started to wear on me, like... It’s been a while since I last played but he always felt quite condescending once I talked to him a bit more, just a bit “I’m superior to you haha.” I was playing a lavellan for this first playthrough, and... I dunno. I don’t hate him! I just don’t really love him. He’s worn on me, and not in a good way.

Character I would totally smooch: You want a list? Sera, Josephine, Leliana, and Qunari lady from the da4 trailer.

Character I want to be like: I don’t think I have a character I’d particularly wanna be like! If I had to choose, I’d pick Dagna, because I respect her dedication to. Learning. JDFKSD (can you tell I’m tired of doing this for the third time?)

Character I’d slap: Cullen <3 I would say Meredith too but even though I know she’s. uh. kinda fucking bad I’ll wait until I play DA2 to say so with Confidence

Pairing I love: Merribela, Leliana/Josephine, and really most pairing between pc/npc, save for a few exceptions, such as...

Pairing i hate: Cullen/Mage. Any mage. Mage Inquisitor. Mage Warden (hghg). Mage random character on the street you yoinked up. Just... No. Nope. Nuh-uh. Usually I’m very “do your own thing, idc if I don’t like it :)” but that’s like... Major nope. Ya know... Kill all the mages in the circle. (Plus, his feelings for a mage warden? When he’s in a position of power over her? :////////////) But! no hatred for anything else, really!

Thank you for the ask!

[noire-pandora]

Letters

Another prompt from this list. Also on my AO3

Words: 2419

Warnings: none

A few of the letters Inquisitor Elluin Lavellan exchanged with her adoptive mother and her adoptive brother.

Mama,

This is the moment when you can say “I told you so”. I got in trouble. Big trouble. Have you heard about that explosion at the Conclave? Where the Templars and the mages were supposed to make peace? (like that could ever happen). Well, it seems I am the cause of it, or at least that’s what they think.

And no, before you ask me if my magic finally went nuts, it wasn’t my fire magic but a type of magic I never met until now. It got stuck to my left hand, and it’s slowly spreading in my body and only one annoying elf can understand it and keep me alive. He’s getting on my nerves and I wish I could tell him to fuck off but I might die if I do that, so here I am, stuck with an elf I can’t stand. The irony in that, huh? There are other humans here that get on my nerves, but I try to be as respectful as I can. They can kill me so easily. My only salvation is the Mark (that’s how they call it) on my hand.

Besides that, the humans are calling me the “Herald of Andraste” because I physically walked in the Fade and I have been saved by a woman. They believe it was Andraste. And I can’t remember anything. I walked in the Fade, outside a dream and I don’t remember it!! It makes me so furious! I can’t believe my mind betrayed me. It never did that!

Anyway, if you hear the humans talk about a Herald, they are talking about me. No, I don’t like it.

I’ve lost my sketchbook in the Fade. I cried for an entire hour when I realised that.

Are you well? How is everyone doing? How are they baby hallas? Have they started kicking everyone around?

With love,

Elluin.

P.S: I’m in Haven. It’s so cold in here, my bones hurt at night.

---------

Lethallan,

My instincts never failed me. Since the last time we have met, my dreams warned me about your fate every night. A vast shadow looms above you, one shaped in the form of a wolf. My dear child, this is a bad omen. Fen’Harel is testing and tricking you. Please open your eyes for any sign of his presence. The explosion at the Conclave might be his doing.

My dear, since childhood, you had a knack for trouble and your curiosity hurt you many times. I beg of you, do not get distracted. Do not forget our teachings. It worries me you do not understand this magic hurting you. Pay attention to the elf who understands it. He might know more than he shows.

The Herald of Andraste? I do not know if I should cry or laugh at this. They truly have no idea who they are giving this title to. You barely believe in our gods, the gods you were raised with, and they expect you to believe in their human prophet ? The gods have  a peculiar sense of humour. Or the humans are truly disparate.

My daughter, I do not understand what fate you have brought upon yourself, but the appearance of this hole in the sky is worrying. I wish you were not trapped in the middle of it. Stay safe, my sweet child.

I will send you two blankets made with halla’s hair. They should keep you warm at night.

The hallas are growing. They still do not know how to kick, but I imagine they will learn soon.

The soldier you have sent with this letter is becoming nervous to be in the middle of a Dalish Clan and the children are terrifying him with their curiosity. I will stop now before the poor man starts running frightened.

P.S.: This is a prayer I offer to you, child. Keep it in your thoughts every day.

“May the Dread Wolf never catch my scent,

May the Dread Wolf never hear my step,

May the Dread Wolf never feel my breath

May the Dread Wolf never steal my soul.”

----------

Mother,

Thank you for your kind words. But not all that takes place in this harsh world is the fault of the gods. Sometimes, the greed and hate of the mortals are sufficient. And please give that prayer to someone that needs it. I am no one; I am irrelevant. Usually gods like interesting people.

Thank you for the blankets! They smell and feel like home. I can sleep much better like that.

You worry too much. We already have a solution for closing the Breach (that’s how we call the hole in the sky) and in a few months, it will be done. I will come back to you after we close it. This ordeal made me realise how much I miss you. I can’t wait to be scolded by you. It’s going to be even better than your delicious food.

Please say hello to everyone in the clan and tell them I miss them.

All the care and love from your rebellious daughter, Elluin.

------------

Mother,

I guess the words of Haven’s destruction reached you. We survived it. I survived it. Barely. It was terrifying. I got lost and drifted in the snow for three days. I almost died. I don’t remember how I made it to my friends. All I can remember is the cold gnawing at my bones and the trail of blood behind me.

I am sorry it took me so much time to send this letter. I have been busy because now I own a castle! A castle, mother! I never had my room and now I have a castle! We call it Skyhold. It’s a wonderful place, but it needs a lot of repairs and I have to make certain all goes well. Many people joined the Inquisition and I am taking my time to meet every one of them.

Oh, I almost forgot. They made me the Inquisitor. A mage, the head of an organization who formerly hunted down mages. This world is going mad.

Remember that annoying elf I told you about? He saved my life, again. This is the third time he does that, and I don’t know how to thank him anymore. And I’m in love with him. I don’t know what to do with all those new feelings. I shouldn’t fall in love in times of war. But here I am, doing the stuff I am not supposed to do again. I don’t need more complications in my life right now. But my dumb heart races every time I see him because of his kindness and his intelligence. You should see him rant about anything. He will talk and talk and talk for minutes at a time, and I can’t stop listening to him. He’s wonderful.

Please don’t let Alaion about this love part. I will never hear the end of it next time I see him.

I love you, and I wish you were here to give me advice. But the clan needs you more. Please stay safe and don’t let anyone hurt you.

Send all my love to the others too.

Inquisitor Elluin.

---------------

My child,

I wish I could have seen you at Wycome. I understand why you had to remain at Skyhold, but I do miss you. I have told the Commander to send you our thanks with this letter. I do not know what we would have done without his help. He is quite the dashing young man, and he seems to have a deep respect for you.

We are well. A few of us are terrified to be close to humans, but I find this situation a perfect moment to teach the children that humans can be good too. Not only mean and dangerous as those who tried to murder us.

I apologize for the problems we have caused. I should have known people will try to hurt you by getting to us. We will be more careful from now on. After all, my wonderful daughter is the head of an important organisation now. I am proud of you, even if I would have liked to see you in a safer position.

About the previous letter. Alaion read it first. I thought he would die of laughter. He is coming to Skyhold in a few weeks. He wants to write a few words in this letter to you.

El!!!! I can’t believe it. You’re in LOVE! I can’t wait to see his face. I asked the man you sent to help us, and he had no idea you’re in love. But he said his name is Solas. Really, sister? You’re in love with a man who calls himself PRIDE? Actually, that’s not surprising, we’re talking about you. You always had peculiar tastes. I bet he’s a stuck up elf who is so boring, he makes flowers fall asleep. I can’t wait to meet him. He must have something special if he made you fall in love.

We miss you, sister!

--------------

Mother,

Alaion arrived at Skyhold in one piece.You should have seen his face when he saw Skyhold from up close. I thought he swallowed his tongue; he didn’t say anything for a few minutes. I think he might be jealous, but I wish he wasn’t. He’s the leader of his clan, and that’s much better than being here, surrounded by people I can barely understand.

Somehow, I ended up confusing my feelings to the man I love. And, to my surprise, he feels the same. It took me a bit to persuade him, but it seems we are together now. This is going to be interesting. But I am happy, he seems happy, so I guess that’s good.

Alaion was a pain in my butt, always nagging and teasing Solas. And Solas tried to be polite because he knows I care about Alaion a lot. Solas has a sharp tongue and if it wasn’t for me, he would have destroyed Alaion with his wits. But instead, he sighed and gave me a pained look every time my brother opened his mouth.

But I had a wonderful time with my brother. I am glad he likes Skyhold. Having him here gave me the strength to carry on. And he told me he thinks Solas is the best match for me, even if he has a pole stuck deep into his arse. My brother never disappoints, does he?

We are getting close to defeating Corypheus. Just a few more months and I can be done with this mess. I want to come home for a while. Rest a bit. I will invite Solas to join me. He needs to spend a bit of time with a peaceful Dalish clan and learn not everyone is there to get him.

I gave my brother a few packages with food for the Clan. Please give the sweets to the children. I’m sure they are going to love them. I have a present for you. I hope you’ll like it.

I love you, mother.

Elluin Lavellan.

-----------

Elluin,

The knitted scarf is perfect. I can see your knitting skills have improved quite a lot. I am proud of you.

Alaion talked for an entire hour about you, Skyhold, your friends and your lover. He had to stop before losing his voice. He is fascinated by your work and I believe he would have joined you if not his duty to his People. Everyone here is amazed to know you are a great leader. But I am not. Since you were a child, I knew you could move people with your words and actions. This was the reason why I asked you to be the leader of this clan. I truly wish you remained here to lead us, but it seems fate had bigger plans for you. You are the only one who can save the world. And I am proud of you.

You can come back to us at any time. We love you and we miss you. And you can bring your man, too. I am quite curious myself. His mind must be as sharp as a knife if he amazed you with his intelligence.

Fate be in your favour, my child, may the gods offer you their blessings. I will pray for your safety at night.

Mythal enansal.

-----------

Mother,

It’s done. We have won. We defeated the monster. Corypheus is dead. It was a terrible fight; it drained all of us, but we killed him. Finally, after two years of fighting for the safety world, I am done. I am so proud of my friends. They helped me get through it, without them I’d be dead.

I can’t come back just yet. There are a lot of things I need to do. A lot of stuff needs fixing. They still need a leader. Thedas is a mess right now, and it won’t get better if I leave. Now it’s time to help my People. To use my position and power to make things easier for the Elvhen. I helped the mages. Now it’s time for us to grow.

It might take a while until I will be able to do it, but I will. I promise.

I hope you are well. Please tell me if you need anything. I will send my soldiers to help you, no matter what. I love you.

P.S : he left. Without a word. I think I wasn’t good enough. But it is how it is.

------------

My dear,

I knew you would save the world. I am proud of you. You fulfilled your destiny. The world is safe now, and I know you will change and make it a much better place to live in. For everyone.

He left? Your lover? Do you know why? How peculiar. Alaion told me you two looked very in love and he could not keep his eyes off you. Are you sure you are all right? I know you do not like to speak about your feelings, but you said you loved him. I find it impossible to forget your first love that fast. I am here for you, my child. No matter what.

You are not alone in this, Elluin.

----------

Mother,

Forgive me.

Forgive me, mother, you were right.

They are real. The gods, they are real.

And Fen’Harel came. And he stole my heart and my soul.

I don’t know what to do. I am lost. Help me.

[filia-sapientiae]

Como El Viento (Like the Wind)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Mexican!Reader

Summary: Four months ago, Tony hired a new computer scientist for a temporary classified assignment. Bucky didn’t plan on falling in love with her. But now the assignment is over and she’s going back home. Will he be enough to make her stay?

Series Warnings: Novela style drama, angst, cursing, crazy Mexican family dynamics, typical cartel business, drugs and alcohol, smut, rich people being assholes, Spanish 

A/N: This is for Mimi’s One Hit Wonder Challenge hosted by @captain-rogers-beard​     (Inspiration in BOLD)

I’ve had this story in my head for a little over a year and it was literally in my drafts titled “She’s Like the Wind”, so when I saw your challenge, I knew I had to participate!!! 

I’m so sorry it’s late!!! I really struggled in deciding whether or not to make it a WOC!Reader fic. And then it turned into an OC fic. And then went back Latina!Reader. And then it turned into a vague Reader fic, but my brain just wouldn’t let me write it that way. 

This quarantine has given me a lot of time to binge Spanish novelas on Netflix. So I finally settled on making a Mexican!Reader fic. You can totally use the QUEEN Selena Quintanilla as the face claim. It’s how my brain pictured the Reader. But you do you!!! I’ve got a little bit of everything planned for this story. It will definitely read like a Spanish novela!!!

____________________________________________________________________

Bucky looked at himself in the mirror. The bags under his eyes were a dead giveaway of the sleep that eluded him for the past two weeks. His hair was dirty and haphazardly thrown into a bun. He sighed as he walked away from his reflection and made his way down to the training room.

Steve eyed Bucky as he made his way to a punching bag.

How could he have been so stupid?

Punch.

He remembered fawning over every dame that crossed his line of sight. But this was different. She was so different.

Punch.

And he had to go and fuck it all up!

Bucky swung at the bag ferociously until it split open and sand spilled onto the floor.

“Buck, that’s the fourth bag this week!”

“I can’t stop thinking about her!” Bucky paced in front of the broken bag. His hands fisting in his hair. “Steve, I told Y/N I was in love with her. I put myself out there and she left!”

“You did what?! Bucky, she was in New York on temporary assignment! You knew this!”

“I didn’t plan on falling in love with her!!!” Bucky snapped at Steve.

“Buck,” Steve pulled his best friend into a hug. “What happened?”

“I freaked out when she said she was leaving and it all came out.”

“What’d she say?”

“What do you think she said? She’s gone back to California to her fiance!”

“So she’s still in love with him?”

“No, I don’t think so.” Bucky whispered under his breath. He felt defeated.

“Huh? Whaddya mean?” Steve asked incredulously.

“You remember the night we all went out for drinks and I brought her home early after she twisted her ankle dancing on the bar counter?” Bucky began to tell the account of that night, “God, I was already in love with her then.”

Y/N was snuggled against Bucky’s chest as he carried her up to her room. Bucky laid her gently on the bed. He looked down at her and his chest tightened.

“Bucky, what’s wrong with me?” She sat up with tears in her eyes.

“Nothing’s wrong with you doll. You just twisted your ankle. You’ll be good as new in a couple of days.” Bucky reassured her.

She started sobbing, “No no no no. What’s wrong with me Bucky? Why can’t I bring myself to marry Mateo?”

“Y/N, you guys are engaged. You’re getting married soon.” He sat on the edge of the bed.

“No. I postponed the wedding again!” Y/N blubbered.

“That’s ok. Why’d you postpone? What’s going on?” Bucky asked. Y/N shook her head.

“He is so good. He’s kind and sweet. He comes from a good family. But God, I am so unhappy!”

“Then why stay with him? Why are you going to marry him if you’re not happy?”

“I have to marry him. I promised them.” Y/N sank back down into the mattress and curled to her side away from Bucky.

“Doll, you don’t have to marry him. Who did you-” Bucky was met with Y/N’s quiet snores. He got up from the bed and covered her with a blanket. Bucky took one last look at the woman in front of him and left quietly.

“Buck, she was drunk.” Steve argued.

“I know, but you should’ve seen her. She’s not in love with him.” Bucky rested his head against the wall and sighed.

_____________________________________________________________

Y/N wrapped herself in a warm blanket and sat on the windowsill watching the wind blow through the trees.

Y/N had isolated herself for the past two weeks. She kept replaying her last night with Bucky over and over in her head. The feel of his lips. The way her body responded to his kiss. The desperate way he told her he loved her. The way he yelled at her.

“Tell me that you love me too!”

“He doesn’t make you happy. I do! I know I do.”

“Am I a fool to believe that I have anything you need?”

Y/N curled the blanket around her tighter and cried. After a few minutes she let out a frustrated yell. She had cried so much for the last two weeks during her self imposed isolation. She was tired of crying. Y/N stood up and paced around her living room. She was going crazy alone with her thoughts in the small apartment. She knew she couldn’t hide from the world forever.

Y/N stopped and entertained the idea of running away and starting fresh with a new life and new identity. She could do it. She knew people. You didn’t become a computer scientist as good as she was without knowing people. Hell, she had been sought out by Tony Stark for her skills. She would be free.

Y/N started pacing again. She couldn’t do that. She had to go back home. She had responsibilities and duty. The perfect Mexican daughter lived at home until marriage. But what if she didn’t want to be that anymore?

Now there was so much more to consider. The conversation she had with Tony had left her unsure of what she wanted.

“Hey Baby Houseman? Friday said you were in the lab.”

Her hair was up in a messy ponytail and her eyeliner was smudged.

“Are you ok? Were you crying?” Tony kneeled down by her side.

Y/N shook her head. “I’m fine. I’m good. What’s up Tony?”

“Are you sure everything is ok?”

“I’m good Tony.” Y/N snapped.

Tony nodded, “I have a business proposition for you.” He sat on the lab desk in front of her.

“I’m listening.”

“Come work for me. I want you to be Stark Industries’ computer network architect. You’d make communication and use of technology easier for the company to use.”

“Tony, you have your AI system, what do you need me for?” Y/N was confused.

“I want to put you in charge of Friday’s operational system.”

“Tony! I can’t take over control of Friday. Friday is your brainchild! Your baby!” Y/N gasped.

“That’s why I need you. I’m not getting any younger Y/N. Pepper and I want a family. I’m ready, but I can’t make the same mistakes as my father. In order to do that, I need to delegate responsibilities. I can’t let the company take priority over my family. That’s why I need you. You’re the only one I trust for the position. What do you say?”

Y/N stayed quiet in disbelief. “Can I think about it? I need to go home and talk to my family about it. My fiance is in California.”

Tony nodded, “Sure, take the time that you need. We’ll talk when you’re ready..”

Y/N sighed. When had her life become such a mess? The weight of her responsibility and duty and honor was steadily crushing the levity of independence and her dreams.

Lost in her thoughts, she hadn’t noticed her phone buzzing.

Shit.

10 missed calls from “Madre Mia”.

Shit.

Another call came in.

“Hello?” She knew she was in trouble the second she answered.

“Y/N L/N! I have been calling you! Porque tienes un pinche telefono si no lo contestas?!”

“I’m sorry Mami. I was busy.”

“Oh too busy for your own mother?”

“No Mami. I’m here. We’re talking now. What’s up?” Y/N sighed pinching the bridge of her nose.

“You need to come home. Now.”

“Mami, I’m still working-”

“Don’t lie to me Y/N! Que crees, que tengo cara de estupida? I know you’ve been done for two weeks!”

Shit. Y/N was really in trouble. How did they find out?

“Mami-”

“You need to get home now! Estoy harta! You’ve pushed your wedding back too many times. You’re getting married in two weeks.” There was no room for negotiation in her voice. Y/N knew her mother had been pushed beyond her limit.

“Mom, I can’t. Tony offered me a job! It’s a really good job and I want to take it!” Her voice went a little high. The same way it always did when Y/N tried to get her mom to understand.

“No me importa. We’re done playing your games! Your father and I let you postpone because you wanted to go off to school. Ok. We indulged you when you postponed because you said you wanted a doctorate. Fine. We even let you go to New York to help The Avengers. You’re done. You have things to take care of here at home.”

“Mami, please! I promise-” Y/N was not done trying to bargain for her freedom.

“No Y/N! You are marrying Mateo in two weeks. Todo ya esta listo.”

Screw this!

Y/N was old enough to make her own decisions. She was accomplished. She could handle her own! “Mom, I am 26 years old! I have a doctorate! You can’t-”

“Y qué? Crees que tu te mandas sola? No. You are a L/N. You will do as I say as long as I run this family.”

Fine. That’s how she wanted to play? Y/N was done being nice. Now she was going to be heard. “I thought it was Papi that ran things.”

“Who do you think orders him around?”

“What if I say no?” Y/N words dripped with rancor.

“Yo misma me encargare que nunca vuelvas a ver a tus hermanas.”

Y/N voice caught in her throat. No! She couldn’t. Her mother wasn’t ruthless.

“Mami, please! You wouldn’t do that!” Y/N choked out. Her mother held all the bargaining chips. Y/N had lost.

“Try me Y/N. I expect you on the next flight out.” The call ended.

FUCK!

Y/N threw her phone against the wall.

FUCK!!!

How could she threaten me like that? Threaten to keep my own sisters away from me?

Y/N wiped away her tears. The severity of her situation made its home in her chest.

It was her freedom or her sisters. She had to choose between her dream job or family duty. She had to choose between herself or Luisa and Blanca.

What was she willing to lose?

The decision wasn’t an arduous one. She knew what she had to choose. Y/N made her way to her room to start packing her bags.

PT. 2 coming soon

[pikapeppa]

Brilliant Pika, Would you be willing to share any advice on writing Cole’s little rambles?

Hello darling friend, I’m honoured by this ask! Cole is a tough cookie, but I will do my best to explain how I write him!

Pikapeppa writes: Cole from Dragon Age: Inquisition

A little context for those who don’t know: I LOVE COLE A LOT and I’ve written a few pieces from Cole’s POV; there was a short two-chapter Colemance, and two pieces in first-person POV where Cole is reflecting on Solavellan (here and here).  Cole also features prominently in my ongoing WIP, Lovers In A Dangerous Time (i.e. FenHawke and the Inquisition). 

I’ll break this down into two parts: what Cole says, and how Cole says it.

What Cole says: the content of his rambles

Cole is a spirit of compassion. In his own words, “Helping makes me who I am. I help the hurting. That is what I do, all I do.” His rambles expose the hurts or trauma of the person he is focused on, and are intended to untangle and assuage their pain. He often says things that people don’t want to hear, but need to hear. Because of this, the incidents that Cole mentions are often things that the person wouldn’t want others to hear, since those hurts are very personal.

I purposely say that he intends to lessen people’s pain; despite his best intents, Cole does not always get it right. A good example of this is his dialogue with Iron Bull if Iron Bull sacrifices the Chargers. As well-meaning as Cole is, sometimes his words accidentally do more harm than good. 

It is also important to mention that Cole doesn’t hear every person’s every thought. At one point when speaking to the Inquisitor, he states that “I don’t hear everyone. They have to need me. Pain, fear, sadness, guilt, anger, hurt: things I can fix.” That being said, everyone feels those thing at some point or another, and even happy memories are often tinged with some sadness or pain. A good example of this is when Cole talks to Cassandra about blueberry pastries — a preference of hers that is closely linked to her sharing them with her late brother Anthony.

I like to think of Cole as an antenna picking up memories that contain pain, sadness, or guilt, and that he conveys those memories/thoughts in the format that he picks them up — that is, in a manner that reflects both the clarity and the vagueness of memory. If we consider the way that memories work, they are not clear linear narratives. They are not perfect detailed recordings of the things we see or do.  Memories are often fractured or vague, especially if they’re old. Even the clearest memories are not very lengthy, and some elements of the memory might be very clear — a smell, a flavour, a sensation, a specific mental ‘snapshot’ — while everything else in the memory is rather blurred. The content of Cole’s rambles reflects this fractured, clear-but-unclear nature of memories. 

Thus, in terms of content, Cole’s rambles often start off by exposing the person’s pain by giving us a vague or fractured glimpse into their memories. He then goes on to say something comforting that (hopefully!) assuages the person’s sadness/anger/guilt associated with that memory. 

How Cole says it: Cole’s speech patterns

When writing Cole’s rambles, there are a few key characteristics of his speech patterns to keep in mind:

Alliteration

Direct quotes from people’s thoughts

Vague and indirect references

Alliteration:

Alliteration is when you string together a number of words with the same consonant sound for stylistic purposes. This is what gives Cole’s speech part of its poetic quality. 

An example from when he talks to Sera: “The sky wants to say something. It's trying, tempting, words in the wind, whistling, wandering, wasted.”

Direct quotes: 

Cole sometimes speaks the exact words of the person he’s focused on. An example from when he’s talking to Blackwall: “‘Mockingbird, mockingbird.’ Too many voices in the carriage. Maker, they're young. If I tell my men to stop, they'll know it was all a lie.”

Vague and indirect references: 

Cole often speaks without explaining who or what exactly he is talking about. His speech can often be phrased such that if you know who or what he’s referring to, it’s perfectly obvious, but if you don’t know who/what he’s referring to, it’s a complete enigma. But just because we don’t understand him, it doesn’t mean he doesn’t make sense. In Cole’s words to Vivienne, “I can say what I mean without you understanding.” 

For example: “Voice ringing with fullness from both worlds, guiding me to the shining places. He calls himself Pride.” When you play Inquisition for the first time, you have no idea who this refers to. When you’re playing a second time, it’s obvious that it’s Solas, and the two worlds he’s referring to are the ‘real world’ and the Fade. 

How the hell do I put all of this together and write him?

Tip #1: Repeatedly listen to and/or read all of Cole’s dialogue. I often find that with any character, just listening to the rhythm and cadence of their voice and speech helps let me imitate it. So it’s often a good idea to just read/listen to his dialogue prior to writing him. 

Tip #2: Clearly state the meaning you want Cole to convey, and then ‘dress it up’ to make it indirect. I think of this like working backwards: you know the ‘endpoint’ or the conclusion to the ramble, so you have to work backward to the intriguing beginning. 

As an example, in Lovers In A Dangerous Time (my Fenris the Inquisitor fic), I wanted Cole to ramble about Morrigan and Old God Baby Kieran at one point. My endpoint was this: Morrigan loves Kieran, despite never expecting or meaning to love him as much as she does. Having this in mind, I wanted to make Cole’s ramble indirect and vague, with some alliteration and poetic quality, and with enough hints in it for it to be obvious who it was about if you were told the subject of the ramble.

“It whispers, waiting, keeping him company. Where it starts and he ends, she doesn’t know, but she loves him all the same. [...] She never thought she would be good at this. He grew on her, in her, grows over her: taller and wiser and more ineffable every day. But he’ll always be her little man.”

The first sentence has two examples of alliteration; the second sentence is indirectly referring to the fact that Kieran has an Old God soul that he was born with and that he is tied to very deeply since he was born with it. There’s some more alliteration/repetition with the “grew on her, in her, over her”, which adds some poetic Cole flavour, and then the ‘little man’ reference is a direct quote from Morrigan, who calls Kieran her little man the first time the Inquisitor meets him. In terms of content, I admittedly don’t know Morrigan super-well since I haven’t played DA:O, but I imagine there is some guilt about the utilitarian purpose for his conception, and also some very complex negative feelings about her Flemeth that are tangled in her own love for Kieran, so that’s what I was keeping in mind when writing this ramble. 

Another example, also from Lovers In A Dangerous Time: this is Cole talking to Fenris about Varania. 

******************************

 “Red hair like the blood that almost stained her hands. She lives in a place that’s not her home, toiling as a tailor like she told you before. [...] She is jealous still. But if you had been wiped away, if you were made not you, she would be not her. She would be a monster.”

Fenris frowned. “Jealous? Of what?”

“You were everything she wanted to be,” Cole said. “Mired in magic, loved, seen. You were free. [...] You gave her a chance. You didn’t kill her.”

“That wasn’t my… Hawke and Varric stopped me,” he said distractedly. “I would have…” He trailed off and ran a hand through his hair.

“You would have been sad afterwards,” Cole said softly. “You gave her a chance to not be a monster.”

***********************

I started off with a flash of an image: Varania’s red hair. There are some indirect references to the idea that she is not in Tevinter (her home) anymore, since I headcanon that she doesn’t or can’t return to Tevinter after the incident in the Hanged Man. And finally, Cole addresses Fenris’s complex feelings of anger and uncertainty and wistfulness with regards to his estranged sister, and he attempts to assuage those feelings by assuring Fenris that he did a good thing by not killing her, and by trying to give some insight into why Varania sold him out. 

A final note: remember that Cole does not always speak in this poetic, indirect manner. He often has conversations with normal, non-poetic sentences, even if he still tends to be vague or to launch into topics without giving any context. A lot of his (PRECIOUS) banter with Varric is excellent for displaying this. 

I hope this has been helpful — honestly, I feel like I’m not entirely capturing everything about Cole’s uniquely poetic rambles, so I’m going to call on my fellow Cole-writing experts @elveny and @faerieavalon here:  do you guys have any further insights on how to write Cole?

Thanks again for this ask, my love! I hope it helps! xoxoxo

[merrybandofmurderers]

hey so forgive me if you've already told me this, but yuo's a blood mage, right? what caused him to turn to blood magic? does he feel guilty about it, considering the stigma surrounding it, or does he say fuck all that jazz? and have there ever been lasting consequences to using blood magic? sorry if that's a lot, thank you ily :)

no no no, i LOVE answering questions!! yes, yuo is a blood mage (and also a battle mage, a pretty good combo imo, but also one that’s hard on his body). he doesn’t really use blood magic a lot, just when he really needs it (and obviously when he’s in the inquisition, he REALLY tries to be discreet, which being a battle mage covers up for).

there’s only a few ppl he openly uses blood magic around at first (solas, cuz he gleans it from their magic convos and won’t out him despite their contentious relationship; cole, cuz he reads yuo’s mind basically; bull, cuz he figures it out and doesn’t judge yuo for it).

SO. the backstory. yuo’s mom died when he was 19, just before he received his vallaslin, which has always weighed heavy on him. his dad died when he was.. 22? i think? (both of them die in skirmishes with humans, which is where his dislike of humans really started). the death of his mom he was able to handle somewhat cuz he had his dad and his sister.

when his dad died, his sister did not handle it well either, so yuo was a mess. at that time is also when he and his sister adopted three young elves who were orphaned. he was desperate for more power to protect his loved ones, so he asked his keeper (newly appointed and his sister’s best friend) for permission to learn blood magic. she was worried what he would do if she denied him, so at the next arlathvhen they found him a hahren to teach him ethical blood magic.

he never expected himself to turn to blood magic, becuz blood magic is not widely accepted among the dalish. but he accepted it becuz he figured it would help him (he ultimately comes to the conclusion that nothing he does can protect his loved ones, but he doesn’t stop using blood magic becuz it does make him stronger.)

around his clan he didnt need to hide it. they understood his grief and trusted him. he only really learned the necessity of discretion when he fell in love with a human apostate and trusted him to teach him blood magic and then was betrayed by him (which is the root of his trust issues).

this didn’t stop him from using blood magic, but he realized how careful he needed to be, and the lasting consequence from that was his trust issues which has definitely impacted him negatively. aside from that, as i said, his combined specs are hard on his body, which have left him with recurring pain as well as needing to treat his scars regularly.

(EDIT: okay so i tried to put a cut here to make it not so long, but apparantly tumblr does not like them anymore so i had to remove it to save the formatting :/ thanks tumblr

EDIT TWO: apparantly removing the cut did NOT save the formatting it just put the cut at the beginning :))))

i talked a bit about about the effects of his specializations here, and i talked about his blood magic and grief allowing him to relate to alexius here.

dorian, sera, and blackwall find out about his blood magic during the reclaiming of suledin keep. they agree to keep his secret but it’s a rough process of acceptance for all of them, especially dorian.

these are some excerpts of the confrontations dorian and yuo have about yuo lying about his blood magic

“Have you ever used blood magic on me?”

Dorian hates himself for asking. He hates himself because he knows the answer will be no, it must be. He asks anyway.

Lavellan stays quiet so long, Dorian starts to hate him more than he hates himself. Dread and genuine fear coil in his gut.

“Once. Only once. In Coracavus, when that darkspawn hit you. Dorian, I was afraid you were going to get the Blight. I couldn’t—” He stops, breathes. “That was the only time. Just, to stop the bleeding, keep it clean. Nothing more than I do for myself.”

*

“I don’t understand why you think you need it. You’re powerful enough already—”

“No, I’m not, Dorian. Don’t you understand? I’m not powerful enough—I’ll never be powerful enough. And I have to remember that, I have to remember… nothing will ever be enough. I have to hold onto that every time some fucking demon thinks it can use me by promising to give me what I want. When a demon promises to give me back my parents, to protect my sister, my clan, to save everyone I care about, to keep everything I have—I need to remember that it’s not enough. I have to accept that. Because if I believe—if I hope—for even a moment that there might be some power capable of that—of restoring what’s lost, preserving what I have—I won’t be able to fight them. I have to know it, that no power will ever be enough; I’ll never be enough.”

and here is when yuo ultimately tells dorian the story behind his using blood magic

Dorian sat next to him on the battlements. “Who was it? That you were wrong about?”

Lavellan was silent for a long moment, then, “His name was Rory. He was an apostate.”

“A human.”

“Yes, human. He wasn’t the first I’d been with, though. He wasn’t special… in that way. That wasn’t… a red flag for me. Then. It’s—” He sighed.

“Let me start from the beginning. My mother died when I was nineteen, just before I received my vallaslin, my father when I was twenty-two. My mother’s death, I managed well enough. But when my father died… Anavi didn’t know how to deal with it either. She… closed off. And it was hard to be around her because she reminded me so much of them. She looked just like him but acted just like our mother. It was a mess, we both were, but especially me. I didn’t have anything to—to tether me. I was so desperate. Every night I had these horrific dreams of losing her.

“What I wanted was power. That’s what everyone wants when it comes to blood magic, isn’t it? The power? To protect my sister, my remaining family, my clan, I decided I needed more power. But I was going to do it right. So, I went to our Keeper and asked permission to learn blood magic. Our Keeper by that time was my sister’s closest friend and knew me well. She knew I wouldn’t disobey her if she forbade it, but I needed something to hold on to, and if she didn’t give this to me, she was afraid of what could happen to me. What I would do.

“That year, there was an Arlathvhen. My Keeper found a hahren for me to learn blood magic from. I told you it is not widely accepted amongst the Dalish, but it does happen. So, I lived with this hahren’s clan for a time to learn from them. It got me some space from my sister, from the grief. And they gave me the instruction I needed. The power I wanted, but still drawn from our beliefs. It would have been so easy for me to get twisted, but my hahren guided me, showed me what to do. They reminded me what my magic was for, kept my head on straight. A few years later, I returned to my clan—sooner than I meant to, sooner than perhaps I should have, but another of the clan had died; I needed to be with them, so I went.

“That winter we settled near a village, and that’s where I met Rory.”

Lavellan was silent for a long time, staring into nothing. Dorian sat quietly, watching his somber profile.

“Rory wasn’t special,” he finally continued, “he wasn’t different. He was easy to fall in love with, and I did, and more than that, I trusted him. I didn’t hide my blood magic from him, and he asked me to teach him. I’d already been showing him some magic; he hadn’t really had anyone to learn from. I never thought his questions or intentions were strange or sinister. To me, blood magic was just magic you had to be a little more careful with. So, I taught him.

“Well, the Templars caught him. I don’t know what he did, I don’t know if he actually used blood magic—or any magic—in front of them, if they just suspected, or what. I don’t know if he hurt someone, I just know that they found him, and the reason I know that is because he sold me out to them.”

He sneered. “He told them I had seduced him, bewitched him, used my magic on him, whatever. I’d tricked him into it, coerced him, forced him to use blood magic. All the words that meant he couldn’t be culpable. My clan had been there for several months, and our welcome was already wearing thin. I don’t know if he mentioned them specifically or if it was just me, but the Templars, of course, wouldn’t be taking chances.

“No one died, no one was hurt, but we had to leave, unprepared. And I don’t know what happened to him. All I know is that I loved someone and trusted them, and it turned out I was wrong, and because of that everything I ever cared about protecting almost…”

His hands clasped together, white knuckled. “So, this time the stakes are a lot fucking higher, aren’t they? I’m not going to compare the two of you, because there isn’t any comparison to be had. I was younger then, and eager to be in love with him, and I fought for so long to not feel for you the way I do, but still I love you more than I thought I’d ever love anyone, and once you earned it, my trust in you has never wavered—and that’s why I won’t hate you if you decide you can’t accept this, or—or forgive me, or move on, because you deserved to know and I didn’t tell you.

“Creators, Dorian, if it were just me, I wouldn’t have thought for a second about it. But in this position, it’s not just me—it never was, but he really fucking drove that home for me. My people will always come first, because no matter what, they’re a part of me. I will never be just me; I will always be Dalish. My people will always be there, and I will always have to care about them. However much more love and trust I had for you, the fear was even greater, and I couldn’t—Dorian, I almost lost them, and it was my fault because I was wrong about someone I loved, and I couldn’t take that risk again, I couldn’t. And that’s all I can say for myself, is that I was afraid.”

(please forgive any typos, these are first drafts u.u)

[yourdeepestfathoms]

Six Pokémon AU

some teams are missing Pokémon because the site i used has yet to update with the Sword and Shield Pokémon so bear with me

Catherine of Aragon

Nicknames and genders: Tempest (female); Queenie (female); Gryffindor (male); Scarlet (female); Bishop (male); Foggy (female)

Tempest is Aragon’s partner. She’s raised her ever since she was a Shinx. They’ve been together all through Aragon’s run as queen.

Scarlet is like Aragon’s second-in-command. Aragon got her as a gift when she was just a Litleo and evolved her into a Pyroar. She and Tempest are inseparable.

The first Pokémon Aragon caught after reincarnation was Queenie, who she just...vibed with. She really liked the Vespiquen’s aura and wanted to add her to the team. And she did!

Gryffindor was named by Cathy, if you couldn’t tell

Anne Boleyn

Nicknames and genders: Bandit (male); Splendid (female); Hokey Pokey (female); Frisk (male); Screech (female); Booboo (male)

Bandit is Anne’s partner. They met when Anne was still very young. He comforted her when she moved to the kingdom and kept her safe.

That being said, Bandit is fiercely protective of Anne

Anne, during a show: And now, Screech!!

Screech, at max volume:

*screeches*

Anne: That’s my girl!!

At least one of her Pokémon are dancing with her

Jane Seymour

Nicknames and genders: Lady (female); Honey (female); Morgana (female); Jewel (female); Nessie (female); Sire (male)

Lady is Jane’s partner.

Lady lost her baby, so she doesn’t have a little Kangaskhan in her pouch.

So she was really protective of Jane when she got pregnant because she didn’t want her human to lose her baby, too.

What a shame that it wasn’t the baby that was lost

Lady stayed alive for a little while after Jane’s death and took care of Edward until her passing.

Honey and Jewel were found together by Lady and Jane when they were just a Sewaddle and Ralts. Jane and Lady raised them and evolved them, so they’re all really close.

After reincarnation, Honey and Jewel got reunited with Jane and Lady. It was very heartwarming

Sire is Jane’s big boy

She loves him so much

Anna of Cleves

Nicknames and genders: Pixie (male); Livewire (male); Ruby (female); Umber (male); Camelot (male); Atlas (female)

Pixie is Cleves’ partner. They became a team when Pixie was a Herdier.

Cleves had several other dog Pokémon, but, unfortunately, Livewire and Ruby were the only ones who made it through reincarnation.

None of her horse Pokémon came back, so when she saw Umber trotting around the nearby park and causing disruptions, she knew she HAD to have him

Camelot is just a babey

He’s heavy but Cleves carries him anyway

Cleves loves Atlas’ attitude

Where does she store all that sass

(Her claws)

Katherine Howard

Nicknames and genders: Duchess (female); Magnificent (female); Dazzling (female); Tulip (female); Wolfie (female); Octavia (female)

Duchess is Katherine’s partner and never evolved because Katherine lowkey was afraid she wouldn’t like her anymore once she becomes a Purugly.

Which is fine for Duchess tbh not evolving doesn’t bother her

After Katherine’s death, Duchess was sold, but died because she stopped eating due to grief over the loss of her trainer.

Them reuniting was very tearful.

Also yeah all of Katherine’s Pokémon are female

She can’t wait until Octavia evolves

Catherine Parr

Nicknames and genders: Clearsight (female); Mastermind (genderless); Dreamcatcher (male); Solar Flare (genderless); Sepia (female); Ballerina (female)

Clearsight is Parr’s partner. She was already a Noctowl when they met, so Parr didn’t evolve her from a Hoothoot. Still, they’re very close.

Parr thinks Mastermind and Solae Flare are very intriguing, so she does a lot of research on them.

She isn’t big on Pokémon battles, but Sepia is her strongest Pokémon

Dreamcatcher sometimes will just curl up on her head and it’s pretty damn cute

Ballerina likes to be out during performances so she can dance

Bessie

Nicknames and genders: Flower (female); King (male); Kohga (male); Caliburn (female); Ombré (female); Ophelia (female)

Flower is Bessie’s partner. The two met when Bessie was being sent to London for Aragon’s wedding. The carriage was destroyed during a storm and the Absol had sheltered the young eleven year old. Since then, they’ve been a team.

Many people were scared of Flower, since Absols were said to being bad omens. Some say she’s why Aragon could never deliver a live male heir.

Aragon let Bessie keep Flower around because she was so weak for her young lady in waiting and Flower wasn’t hurting anyone, despite the suspicions.

However, when Bessie was exiled, Flower and Bessie were separated and never saw each other again, even after Bessie returned to court. Flower had been culled.

Their reunion was even more tearful than Katherine and Duchess’

King was one of Henry’s Pokémon, but Bessie still took him anyway. Because she believed he was good, despite his trainer.

He has some anger problems, but is truly a good Pokémon and is fiercely protective of Bessie.

He will literally inspect any new Pokémon that get added to the team.

Ombré and Ophelia were a buy one get one free deal. They came together as a Venipede and Stunky. Someone at a train station was literally fucking selling them from cages and Bessie felt so bad for them, so she immediately took them in.

Caliburn hatched from an egg that Bessie was given. Bessie didn’t think she had the ability to take care of a baby Pokémon, but she absolutely fell in love with Caliburn the moment she hatched in her arms.

During shows, Bessie would have to leave the egg unattended and that made her so anxious that the baby might hatch without her there.

And since baby Pokémon get attached to whoever they see first, this little Axew thought Bessie was her mama 🥺🥺

Bessie cried

Maria

Nicknames and genders: [not listed- Raboot] Blister (female); [not listed- Rillaboom] Jambu (male); Hamlet (male); Vertigo (male); Borderline (female); Bentley (male)

Both Blister and Jambu are Maria’s partners. She got them both when her parents surprised her with them when she was a little girl and they were just a Scorbunny and Grookey.

She caught Hamlet shortly after reincarnation because he was just so funky!!

She got Bentley through trading and thought he was just So Cool

Borderline is a little distant, but Maria is trying to bond with her more often

Maggie

Nicknames and genders: Azura (female); [Not listed- Amped Toxtricity] Alto (female); Fidget (female); Bo (female); Fathom (male); Mangrove (male)

Technically, Alto is Maggie’s partner. They’ve been together ever since she was just a Toxel.

Then Maggie met Azura and the three of them were a team.

But after Alto evolved into an amped Toxtricity, she and Maggie grew distant, since Maggie had been expecting a low key Toxtricity. And Alto attitude was very hard to get along with.

Speaking of attitude, Alto sometimes straight up refuses to obey Maggie. Like, Maggie tells her to use Thunderbolt, Alto will use Venshock. Or she’ll come out of her PokéBall without being sent out or called.

Because of this, Maggie is trying to keep her inside her PokéBall as much as possible.

After Anne’s death, Bo came along. And Maggie, who was still mourning, thought this ghost type was the spirit of Anne, hence her name.

Joan

Nicknames and genders: [Not listed- Sobble] Indigo (male); Hyde (female); Tenor (male); Grandeur (male); Fatigue (female); Glorybringer/Glory (female)

None of these six were Joan’s original partner, who didn’t seem to come back after reincarnation.

However, in her second life, Indigo is Joan’s partner. She found him out in the cold behind the theater.

When she first came across Tenor she KNEW she needed him.

She caught Hyde while away on a trip because it was cold outside and Hyde just looked like she was freezing. So she snuck her into her hotel room and fed her and when she woke up the next morning, Hyde was curled up with her on the bed. She knew she had to have her on her team.

Except Hyde causes some problems because the two heads fight a lot. And when they fight, it’s vey loud. So Joan gets even less sleep.

So she caught Fatigue! And everyone warned her about Drowzees and Hypnos, but Joan ignored it. She loves her Drowzee!

Fatigue does her best to help her trainer sleep.

Then we got little Grandeur! He was brought back to life from a fossil.

He’s just a babey 🥺🥺

And, finally, Glorybringer! Glory for short

Joan first saw Glory being mistreated by her trainer during a performance (he was mainly pulling on her ears) and confronted him about it after the show.

Glory was so moved by her helping that she ran all the way back to the theater a few days later to find Joan after escaping her trainer.

Joan immediately took her in

Joan never makes Glory battle unless she wants to. Usually, she’ll just hold her and they’ll watch.

(Glory loves being held)

[jarakrisafis]

Extract from Stone and Sky

(sfw, Trespasser spoilers). Edric Cadash finds Solas. He’s spent a lot of time putting clues together and come to a conclusion he really hopes is wrong. AKA, I have theories and refuse to accept that the Inquisitor didn’t put some of these clues together. (I suppose one could also consider this my guess about DA4)

"Solas."

He stops. "Edric."

I've found he cares little for small talk, best to get straight to the heart of the matter, more likely he'll stay and hear me out. "You want to tear down the veil, restore magic to how it was," I state, sitting down on the grass, back braced against a rock.

He turns, pacing back towards me. "I couldn't expect you to understand..."

"Why not?" I interrupt, "because I'm a child of the Stone?" I laugh, though mirth is far from what the sound entails. "I've been researching. Put together a lot of things, you tell me how right I am."

He leans against a statue, apparently willing to hear me out.

"The Titans are the blood of the earth. Dwarves are the workers that tend to them. The dragons are the sky-born. Elvhen are the surface-born. Over time some of the dragons and the Elvhen find more power. They begin to rule over others, bending the world to their whim. They are the Old Gods and the Evanuris. Then one of the Evanuris finds a Titan; they find the source of the lyrium, of their power and they take it. For they are Gods - why should they not? Yet taking like that, it unbalances the world. Did you feel that Solas? Did you realise they were going to destroy themselves and take the world with it. Was creating the veil, trapping them in sleep a desperate response to those who declared themselves Gods going mad?"

He isn't leaning on the statue anymore, a step forward, suprise etched on his face before he realises what he's done. How easily he's given himself away.

"It worked didn't it, the Evanuris and the Dragon Gods both sleep. And you... How much power did that take? You slept, long years you dreamt away and woke to a world much changed. And in your waking you found that the veil still held, but there were other consequences you hadn't known would happen. Without their Gods the Elvhen have forgotten themselves, without every one of them having access to mahic they've lost their power, their strength. Humans have crushed a once proud people. You can use that as a rallying call, a reason to fight. But it isn't why you really wish to take down the veil is it?"

He takes several steps towards me, crouching down just beyond reach of weapons. Though that matters to neither of us, spells nor daggers care for the length of arms.

"It's my people that suffered the worst betrayal, you cut us off, unintentionally maybe, from the Titans. It was our job to keep them safe and we couldn't do it. Most must have left, ran from the Titans who they couldn't feel anymore. They must have created the Empire we know of now. Only a few remaining to keep the Titans well. Too few. They've grown corrupted. The lyrium in their veins no longer pure and clear. They're the source of the taint. The heart of the earth is dying."

He inclines his head, sadness almost tangible.

"Though for once I have to thank the human mages, the Magisters who went to find their dragon Gods, without them there would have been no surface blights, no warning that anything was wrong. The corruption would have spread unseen until perhaps it was too late. Anyway, these are your options as I see it: release the veil so the stone-born can cleanse the Titans and pray the Old Gods can be contained. Or do nothing and watch the world slowly crumble as it decays."

He is silent for a long long time and I watch, waiting patiently. "You do not intend to stop me, do you?" He finally asks.

"Even if I could, I'd take my chances with the old Gods over a creeping blight that infects without a way to fight it. What would we be able to do when the blight taints the water and the land?"

"You are wise."

"I'm old. Not sure they're the same thing." I'm certainly feeling my age right now. "They gave Skyhold to me you know. They didn’t want to, but, well, I have my ways. Since it's where the veil went up, if you wish to come and take it down from there, give me a little warning, I'd rather send my men away first. I doubt merging Tarasyl'an Te'las with the Black City will be a calm thing." He jerks a little, a small recoil before catching himself. I smile. That was an idle thought I had hoped was not correct, a guess from the elvish translation that caught my attention.

"It would be easier there, yes," he finally admits.

I sigh slightly. "I was really hoping to retire there. Pass on the family business."

He stops whatever he was about to say. Then he laughs, a sound I've not really heard from him, a full laugh that takes a while to stop. "You are..." He trails off into laugher again. "Oh, I did not see that coming."

I smile, "Can you do something about this?" I motion to my arm, the green light flaring and crackling, as it has been for weeks, months even. Everyday the light is creeping along my flesh, slowly growing.

He nods. "I have a method, it took some research." A pause. "One must remove the flesh from the anchor, not the other way round." He waits.

"No other way?" I ask, not that I expect there to be. Like the options for the veil there is a bad option or a worse option. He shakes his head and I sigh, holding my arm out and gritting my teeth. I doubt this will be pleasant.

It is not. Was not. The sudden lack of pain though... The lack of cold fire burning up my arm... That's worth the loss.

"They will ask if you found me," he points out as he lets one last spell wash over me, a soothing flare I recognise as revitalising magic, before pushing himself to his feet.

"I did yes, you cast some spell which tore the anchor from me and I fell unconcious, when I woke, you were gone."

He raises an eyebrow before inclining his head. "Until we meet again then, Dasher."

I nod back. "Fen'harel." Then I frown, there's something I've been wondering for a long time, "do you know which of the Evanuris might have been the one whispering to Andraste?"

He stops at the edge of the mirror, the surface rippling where he's close to it, "no. I cannot say that I do. I'm sure we'll find out though."

I chuckle. "I'd love to be in the Chantry in Orlais when they find out who their Maker is."

His own laughter rings out before being swallowed by the eluvian. I take a moment to revel in the peace here, the otherworldly lack of distractions. It might be the last moment like this I get. War is coming. House Cadash has a lot of preparations to make.

[jadejedi]

Love Does Not Fail (4/?)

Summary: When Anakin saves the galaxy from Palpatine, Padmé and his children survive, but their family is split apart nonetheless. Leia is taken to be raised in the Temple, not knowing that the Jedi who "found" her is actually her father. Luke grows up with Padmé, knowing only his mother's side of the family. But some things are inevitable.

Chapter Summary: Anakin and Padmé’s year on Naboo.

A/N: So! Thanks to quarantine related free time I suddenly have, I managed to plot this sucker out. Right now, I think it’s going to about twenty chapters. This chapter is 3x the length of the previous ones, and I have no idea what future chapters will look like going forward.

Because the plot is sort of… loose... there will be a lot of time jumps in the chapter, focusing on major events. Or some chapters will focus on like, one really busy month, lol.

All of that said, strap in folks, because this one is a rollercoaster. Let me know what you think!

ao3 link here

Padmé sat on a chair out on the lawn at her family’s home in Varykino, with Artoo next to her, watching as Anakin and Ahsoka sparred on the lawn. She smiled as they traded jabs, both verbal and physical. 

They’d been on Naboo for a week now, and Padmé was extremely glad they’d decided to come here. Nothing Coruscant had to offer could compare to a sunny day in Naboo’s lake country. 

She idly rubbed her stomach as she’d been feeling some amount of discomfort for a little while now. She was less than two weeks out from her due date, and since she was carrying twins, AZ seemed sure that they would come early.

She and Anakin had already decided on names. Anakin had wanted their children to have Nubian names; he didn’t want anything but their surname to tie them to Tatooine.

The names Luke and Leia had ended up as her and Anakin’s favorite names. Neither name was very common among Padmé’s generation, but fairly common names all the same. 

Over in the distance, Anakin once again won the sparring match. Something Ahsoka said caused him to laugh.

He’d been so nervous to come to Naboo and face her parents. It had been sweet, really. They had decided that she would come a day or two early, so she could tell her parents the identity of the father of her children by herself, and then Anakin would follow. He’d insisted on packing her luggage for her, as she directed him from where’d she sat on the bed, and had peppered her with questions about her family and how they would take the news.

In the end, Padmé had been right. They had already liked Anakin from the first time they met him, right before the war, and they liked him now. They were obviously upset that they hadn’t been able to attend the wedding, but they had also understood the difficult circumstance that they had been in. It wasn’t Nubian culture to insert oneself into another’s private life. Family might get away with more than most, but her family had always respected her choices.

And, of course, her parents were delighted to have Anakin as a son-in-law. Sola had been over the moon that she’d been right all along about their feelings for one another. 

Padmé grimaced slightly as the pain she’d felt earlier returned with a stronger intensity. She turned to Artoo, who Anakin had tasked with keeping her company. “Artoo, would you go find AZ-7 for me?” 

He beeped in reply, and headed off towards the house. 

She turned back to watch Anakin and Ahsoka, who were now cooling down from their sparring session, and her thoughts turned again, as they so often did, to her children’s futures. One of them, she knew, would have a relationship with Anakin similar to Ahsoka’s. That of a Padawan, never able to fully have a parental figure. The other would hardly know Anakin at all for the first twelve years of their life. 

Her heart ached at the thought of her children not able to know their father. She loved Anakin with all of her heart, and she’d been so excited when she’d first discovered her pregnancy, not just because she wanted to be a parent, but because she wanted to be a parent with him. Knowing that neither one of her children would be able to experience that fully hurt her almost as much as the rest of all of this mess. 

It was hard to reconcile her dark thoughts with the beauty of the lake country, with its chirping birds, beautiful wildflowers, and the distant sound of water flowing, so she tried to steer away from them.

Instead, she thought of the year that they would have here, and all the memories that she and Anakin would make with their children. 

“You called for me, Mistress Padmé?” AZ said, coming up to hover next to her chair. 

“Yes,” she said, turning to look at him, hand still on her stomach. “I think I am having contractions,” she said, unconcerned. She’d been having those pains for the last half an hour or so, but they were far enough apart that she didn’t feel that there was any need to rush. 

“Oh!” AZ exclaimed. “Well, then I will stay here with you and monitor their timing, so that we may know if you are going into labor,” he said in that way of his, that was both serious and excited sounding. 

She nodded, at that moment felt another wave of pain. “There’s one right now,” she said, through slightly clenched teeth. The pain still wasn’t terrible, but it was getting more intense. 

Anakin and Ahsoka must have noticed the appearance of AZ, because they came jogging up to the house, having stopped meditating while she had been talking to the medical droid.

“Is something wrong?” Anakin asked, concern written all over his expression. 

“It’s nothing,” she said, “I’m just having some contractions.”

Anakin’s eyes went wide. “Are you having the baby?” at the same time as Ahsoka gasped, “You’re in labor?”

--

Ahsoka paced outside the door of Anakin and Padmé’s room, where they were both was inside, with AZ and a midwife from a nearby town they’d contacted before coming to Naboo. 

After AZ had started monitoring Padmé’s contractions, it was another half hour before he’d determined that she was going into labor. At that point, they’d moved her upstairs to the bedroom and called the midwife. It was then that Ahsoka and Dormé had been kicked out of the room. 

That had been an hour ago. Since then, she’d commed Obi-Wan to let him know, as he’d been planning on stopping by once the babies were born, and had meditated for about as long as she could take. Now she was pacing. She knew that human births could either be fairly short or extremely long, so she wasn’t really sure what to expect.

“Ahsoka, you’re making me dizzy,” Dormé said, seated in a chair in the upstairs living area that the bedroom was connected to. “Come sit down.”

Ahsoka sighed as she flopped down on the more comfortable looking of two sofas. “I’m not very good at waiting,” she confessed with a wry smile.

Dormé smiled back at her. “Everything will be fine,” she tried to reassure her. “Women of almost every species do this everyday, all across the galaxy.”

“I know. It’s just that Anakin has been so worried about her. He tries not to be, but I don’t think he can help it.”

Dorme laughed. “Of course he can’t. He loves her. Of course he worries about her.” She looked at Ahsoka oddly. “Don’t you Jedi ever worry about the people you love?” 

She paused, and then amended her statement. “The people important to you, I suppose. Since you aren’t supposed to love.”

“They,” Ahsoka reminded her. “I’m not a Jedi anymore.” She could say that now without it hurting. Much. 

She considered Dormé’s question. “Of course Jedi worry. But they aren’t supposed to, no. Jedi are supposed to trust completely in the Will of the Force. Master Yoda says that all will be as the Force wills it. If a Jedi does worry, they are supposed to release that worry into the Force, because it can lead to fear, which can lead to-”

“Anger, hate, suffering,” Dormé interjected. “So Padmé has explained to me. I suppose that I don’t really understand, because when I try not to worry, I just worry more.”

Ahsoka chuckled. “Yeah, it’s not just you.”

There was a moment of quiet, cut by a particularly loud scream of pain from the bedroom. 

“Do you miss being a Jedi?” Dormé asked after a moment.

“Yes, and no,” Ahsoka said. “I miss my friends. I missed Anakin, before I came back, and Padmé, too, for that matter. I miss a lot of the routine, and the security I felt with the Order. But my life has so much more than it was when I was a Jedi. I’m happy to be on my own. It was hard at first, but I think I am finding my own path,” she said, glancing at the door as another shout came through.

Dormé shook her head. “I just don’t understand how an Order claiming to be dedicated to protecting people could do this to them,” she said. “Padmé has always respected the Jedi, and for them to do this to her, to Anakin, when he saved the galaxy?” She shook her head again. “It’s just so cruel.”

Ahsoka sighed. “I think, to them, they are really just trying to follow normal protocol as best they can. They are so attached to their traditions they don’t see how their normal protocol could ever be cruel.”

Both of them turned as the door opened, and Anakin stepped out, a small bundle in his arms and an enormous grin on his face. 

Ahsoka gasped and jumped off the couch, making her way over to Anakin.

“Meet Luke Skywalker,” he said proudly.

Ahsoka looked at the tiny, red little baby in his arms. A little strange looking, she decided, but cute all the same. “He’s beautiful.”

“He’s lovely,” Dormé agreed, and Ahsoka thought she looked a little misty-eyed. 

“Isn’t he? Padmé has Leia right now, but she’s just as perfect.”

Ahsoka shook her head in amazement. “I still can’t believe you have twins! Twins!”

He laughed, a little tearfully, looking down at his son. “I know. It all kind of feels like a dream.” Luke made a little cooing sound, and all three of them stood silently for a moment, watching him.

“I assume Padmé is doing well,” Dormé asked after a moment, reaching out to touch Luke’s tiny baby fingers.

“Tired,” Anakin said with a nod, “but otherwise doing fine. She wanted you to give her a few minutes before coming in, but then you can meet Leia.”

“Who's older?” Ahoska asked.

“Big brother, right here.” Anakin looked up at her. “Do you want to hold him?”

Ahsoka nodded. She’d helped out in the Temple crèche enough to know what she was doing. She let Anakin transfer Luke in his soft yellow blanket into her arms. 

“Hi, little guy,” she cooed softly. His eyes were closed, and he was squirming around a bit in her arms. He was so much smaller than the babies she held at the crèche, who were usually at least a year old. “He’s much cuter than Stinky,” she told Anakin with a smirk.

Anakin laughed. “I don’t think that that’s too hard.”

She glanced back down at Luke. “No, but he really is cute.” She could feel his Force presence, so strong already. She poked at his mind, and he immediately opened his eyes to stare at her. She laughed. “Sorry to bother you.”

“He’s got your eyes,” Dormé told Anakin.

“Do you want to hold him?” Ahsoka asked her, and she nodded eagerly.

While Dormé was holding Luke, Iala, the midwife, peeked her head out the door. “She says you can all come in now,” she said with a smile. “She’s ready to feed Luke.”

Dormé passed Luke back to Anakin and they all followed Iala into the bedroom. 

“Hi,” Padmé greeted them with a tired smile. Her curls were tied into a bun at the top of her head, and she was propped up and surrounded on the bed with half a dozen pillows, another tiny baby swaddled in her arms. 

Anakin smiled at her, and bent down to kiss her in greeting, before they carefully exchanged the children. Ahsoka thought about offering to help, but decided that they needed to figure stuff like this out on their own. 

“They’re beautiful, Padmé,” Dormé said with a smile, coming over to stand by the bed so she could look at Leia in Anakin’s arms. 

“Aren’t they?” she asked, as she positioned Luke to feed him. “I can’t get over how perfect they are. All their little fingers and toes.” She turned to Anakin. “I’ve already burped her, so she should be fine.”

“She’ll probably want to sleep,” said Iala from where she was seated. 

Dormé and Padmé continued chatting as she fed Luke, while Anakin brought Leia over to where Ahsoka was standing at the foot of the bed. While Luke had just a small amount of wispy blond hair and blue eyes, Ahsoka was surprised at how much dark brown hair Leia already had. Her big brown eyes were focused intensely on Anakin, who was gently rocking her in his arms.

“How does it feel to be a dad, Skyguy?” 

Anakin didn’t look away from Leia as he answered. “Wonderful. Terrifying.”

“Scarier than facing down a battalion of battle droids?” she teased.

He laughed softly. “Yes.” He looked up at her. “Honestly, besides facing Palpatine, the last time I was this scared was when you first became my padawan.”

“Really?” she asked, crossing her arms. She remembered her master being mostly irritated those first few days together. “What was so scary about me?”

He shrugged, and looked back down at baby Leia, who indeed started to drift off, blinking sleepily as Anakin continued to rock her. “You were just a kid. When I was fourteen, Obi-Wan and I were mostly going on diplomatic missions or protection detail, not fighting in a war. I was twenty years old, newly knighted, and here was this snippy kid I had to protect. It was terrifying.”

“And now you’re twenty-three and you have two babies to protect. At least you don’t have to worry about the war,” she joked. “And hey, you’ll be able to handle ages fourteen to seventeen no problem.” 

--

The next three months flew by so quickly that Anakin didn’t really have time to feel anything but joy. Obi-Wan stopped by on his way back to Coruscant from a mission for a day or so. Padmé’s family visited again from Theed, though they once again had to leave Ryoo and Pooja home for now, as they were still too young to keep so many secrets. 

It wasn’t until everything started to settle down a bit, with only Anakin, Padmé, Dormé and the three droids left at Varykino, that Anakin began feeling the pressure of the fact that this happy time with his family had an expiration date. Ahsoka had decided to go visit Rex on Mandalore for a couple of days, to let him know what was happening, and to give Anakin and Padmé some time with Luke and Leia. 

It started when he got a comm from Master Windu. Since the twins were (miraculously) asleep at the same time, Anakin was able to step away to an empty room to take the comm.

“Skywalker,” he said. “We have lost contact with Senator Chuchi, who was sent as a diplomat on behalf of the Republic to negotiate terms of their surrender and our troops withdrawal. The Republic has maintained a presence there since the Battle of Sullust. Since Naboo is in the same region, and you are familiar with the Senator, we are tasking you to go to Sullust and regain contact with Senator Chuchi. If at all possible, those negotiations need to continue. We don’t have any troops in the area, other than the ones already on Sullust, so you’ll be on your own for this one.”

Anakin crossed his arms. He didn’t want to leave right now. His children were barely three months old and his wife needed him. 

As if sensing Anakin’s reluctance, Master Windu’s blue holographic form glared at him. “As a Jedi, we expect this mission to be your first priority.”

“Is there really no one else, Master?” 

“No. The war with the Separatists may be over, but that doesn’t mean that every Separatist planet is willing to give up so easily. We are still spread thinly, and as this is an extremely time sensitive mission, you are the best person for the job.” He gave him a look. “This is why we do not allow attachments, Skywalker. A Jedi should not place any one individual or family above the rest of the galaxy.”

Anakin scowled. “I understand. I’ll leave immediately.”

“We have Master Secura and her troops coming in as reinforcements, but she is tied up with a conflict on Felucia right now, and it is crucial that Senator Chuchi is rescued.” 

With that, Master Windu ended the call.

Anakin sank down into a chair in the office, and put his head in his hands. How was he supposed to tell Padmé that he had to leave so soon? He knew that she would understand that it was his duty, and that almost made it worse.

The joy that he’d been feeling only minutes ago faded into anger and confusion. How could he be a Jedi, now? All he wanted was to be with his family, but that was no longer an option for him. He couldn’t be the kind of Jedi that the Council wanted him to be. He didn’t even think that he wanted to be, anymore. 

“Anakin.”

His head whipped around, looking to see where the voice was coming from, but seeing only the empty office.

“Anakin.” This time, he realized that he recognized the voice.

“Master Qui-Gon?” Anakin asked haltingly, not really believing it.

There was no response. 

Maybe the lack of sleep was making him go crazy. He shook his head.

“Anakin.”

“What do you want?” Anakin snapped, hoping this wasn’t an exhaustion fueled hallucination.

“Want? I don’t want anything. I’m here to talk,” came Qui-Gon’s voice, as calm and serene as Anakin remembered. 

“Talk about what?”

“Your anger at the Jedi.”

“You can’t tell me that you think that what they’re doing is right.”

“No, I can’t. But I can tell you that your anger isn’t going to help anyone. Yourself least of all.” He paused. “You’re conflicted. All you’ve ever wanted was to be a great Jedi, but now you don’t know what you want.”

“How can I be a part of an Order that would do this?” he asked, pained. “How can I pretend to be one of them for the next… fifteen? Twenty? Twenty five years?”

“There is more than one way to be a Jedi, Anakin.” Qui-Gon’s disembodied voice chuckled. “Look at me. I may have been a powerful and well respected Jedi, but they never offered me a position on the Council. And if they would have, I would have turned them down. I often found myself at odds with them. And look at Jedi Vos. He is far from a typical Jedi, but he is a Jedi nonetheless. And look at you. You have never been an ordinary Jedi, and yet you are one of the best.”

“What does that have to do with anything?” Anakin asked. He’d forgotten how cryptic Qui-Gon could be. 

“I’m saying that the Council wants you to be a Jedi, fine. Be a Jedi, Anakin, as you always have been. Do what you know to be right, follow what the Force is telling you, not what the Council is telling you. If there is to be any hope for the Jedi, they must see that what I am telling you is true, and they will only see that if you show them.”

Anakin bowed his head. “Why is this up to me?”

“Because you are the Chosen One. You must bring balance to the Force.”

Anakin growled in frustration. “Didn’t I already do that when I destroyed the Sith?”

“Don’t you remember Mortis? Balance is about more than merely destroying the darkside. It is about holding them both, the dark and the light, in balance. The Sith Lord was right about one thing, Anakin. There is more to the Force than the Jedi could ever imagine. The Sith, too, for that matter.”

“What do you mean, Master?”

There was no response. 

--

It turns out when Master Windu said that Anakin would be on his own for this mission, he really meant on his own. The Republic troops still on Sullust were halfway across the planet, defending the main Republic garrison from an attack from the Sullustan forces, when he landed just outside of the Sullustan capital of Pinyumb. 

“I’m sorry, General Skywalker,” Dav, the clone Commander in charge of the garrison said over comm. “The Sullustans have us surrounded. Tanks, destroyer droids, and way more men than we have.”

“I understand,” Anakin replied as he landed his starfighter in a small clearing in a wooded area not far from Pinyumb. “Keep the garrison defended, and their troops occupied, but don’t try and break their blockade just yet. Hopefully their attention will be on you and not on the Senator.”

“Yes, sir.”

“What do you know about Senator Chuchi’s disappearance?” he asked, still seated in the cockpit of his fighter.

“We know that there are two disagreeing factions here on Sullust. One that wants to rejoin the Republic, and one that does not. While the Prime Minister is in favor of rejoining, we think that Senator Chuchi was kidnapped by someone in the opposing faction. Possibly before even making contact with the Prime Minister, to make it look like the Republic never intended on negotiating.”

Anakin sighed. “Great. So not only do they think we went back on our word, wherever Chuchi is being held, it’s probably not in any official capacity.”

“Probably not, sir.”

“That’ll make it more difficult to find her,” Anakin said, contemplating. “Wait. If the Prime Minister is in support of rejoining the Republic, why are his troops blockading our garrison?”

“We think that the opposition party has launched a coup and taken control from the Prime Minister.”

Anakin sighed again. “This just keeps getting better and better. Commander, send me any blueprints you have of the capitol building, as well as a list of known high ranking officials who oppose the Republic.”

“Will do, sir.”

“Skywalker, out.”

Anakin opened the hatch of the cockpit and climbed down. “Artoo, I’m going to need you with me for this one.”

Artoo trilled and beeped in reply. He grinned. “Don’t worry. I think the hardest part of this one will be freeing the Prime Minister. After that, it’ll be a cinch.”

Artoo beeped skeptically, but lowered himself down from the fighter anyways.

The trek into the capital wasn’t a long one, but it gave Anakin time to look through the documents that Dav had sent to his datapad. 

As it turned out, the leader of the Republic opposition party was in charge of the Sullustan Ministry of Justice, which oversaw all prisons. That would make it easy for Senator Chuchi to be hidden in the high security prison on the other side of the city, most likely under a fake name, to hide who they were holding.

“We just need to break into the main capitol building so you can connect to their prisoner database. Hopefully by narrowing down by intake date we will be able to figure out where Senator Chuchi is,” he told Artoo.

Artoo beeped, causing Anakin to chuckle. “It’ll be a breeze, Artoo. We’ll be back on Naboo in no time.” He felt a pang as he thought of his family on Naboo. He checked his chrono. The kids were probably napping right now. Would Padmé be able to get them to sleep at the same time? Neither of them had mastered the art of rocking both of them in their arms, yet, and the twins would only go down for a nap for the two of them. 

A questioning trill from Artoo drew him out of his thoughts. 

“I’m fine,” Anakin assured him. “We just need to get into the capitol. Once we’re inside, I’ll find the Prime Minister, and you find a computer terminal to figure out the Senator’s location.”

--

As it turned out, getting into the capitol building was the easy part. Using the blueprints, he’d found a ventilation shaft that had an opening on the second floor of the backside of the building. It was a little tight around his shoulders, but it was far from the first time he’d crawled through ventilation shafts. 

The Prime Minister was indeed being held in his apartments within the capitol building, guarded by at least thirty Sullustan guards, around fifteen battle droids, and two super battle droids. And that was just what Anakin could see through the vent.

Not the hardest odds he’d had ever faced, but in such an enclosed area, it would be hard to destroy the enemy combatants and protect the Prime Minister.

Thankfully, the vent he was looking out of was positioned right above where the Prime Minister was seated at his desk. 

He shimmied a little past the vent so he could kick it loose, and then pushed himself gracefully out of the vent and onto the floor, onto the Prime Minister’s desk.

The troops in the room turned around at the sound of his thud onto the desk, and swung their blasters around to face him. He reached for his lightsaber and ignited it, the bright blue of his blade stark against the dark interior of the apartments. 

“Put down your weapons. I am Jedi Knight Anakin Skywalker, here on behalf of the Republic to free the Prime Minister.”

All at once, they started firing at him. 

“Prime Minister, get down!” he shouted, using the Force to knock him out of his seat. “Get under the desk!”

He easily deflected the first round of bolts volleyed at him, before jumping and flipping into the air and off the desk, swinging his saber as he came down, decapitating three of the battle droids. 

Anakin grinned as the blaster bolts came flying at him, and he deflected each one, slipping easily into his master’s preferred form of Soresu.

 He continued to work outwards, destroying the droids one by one and incapacitating the Sullustan guards by either destroying their blasters or using the Force to throw them across the room. 

He’d almost forgotten how easy it was to slip into the heat of battle, at one with the Force, the only thing he was aware of was his saber and his goal.

He slashed downwards at the remaining super battle droid at the same time as he shoved a guard away. 

It didn’t take long before the room was strewn with unconscious guards and droid parts.

Using the Force, he pulled the last guard standing towards him, slashing through the guard’s blaster as he did so. “Take me to the one in charge,” he ordered with a growl.

The guard spoke rapidly in Sullustese. 

The Prime Minister climbed out from under his desk and spoke to Anakin rapidly. Unfortunately, Anakin didn’t speak a word of Sullustese. Many species, including Sullustans, could’t speak Basic, but thankfully, these two seemed to understand what he was saying. 

He shook his head. “Do you speak Huttese?” he asked.

The Prime Minister shook his head, looking offended at the mere sound of the language, while the guard nodded rapidly.

“Yes! I speak Huttese.”

“Great. What did the Prime Minister say?” Anakin reached out and grabbed the guard by his collar. “And don’t lie to me.”

The guard looked nervously between the Prime Minister, Anakin, and the door. “He said that there will be more troops on the way. That his loyalists are locked in the parliamentary chambers.”

“Well,” Anakin asked, “Are there more troops coming?”

The guard nodded, and Anakin sighed. “Of course. Tell the Prime Minister to follow me.”

The guard relayed his request before turning back to Anakin. “What about me? What are you going to do with me?”

Anakin rolled his eyes. “Don’t worry. I’m not going to kill you.”

“Why?”

“Because I need you to translate.”

He motioned for the guard to head out first, keeping the Prime Minister behind him. 

--

The rest of the mission went smoothly. Anakin lost himself in the adrenaline of fighting his way down to the parliamentary chambers, liberating the Prime Minister’s troops, retaking the capitol building, and capturing the Minister of Justice who was also in the parliamentary chambers. Hours of combat faded into each other as he focused only on the task at hand.

After that, it was just a matter of meeting up with Artoo, who had found a record of a female prisoner of an unlisted species processed around the time Chuchi went missing. 

Since the Prime Minister was once again in charge, they were able to walk into the prison and were escorted to the cell of the prisoner they were interested in. 

“Master Skywalker,” Senator Chuchi breathed out in relief, scrambling up off the cell floor. “I wasn’t even sure if anyone was aware that I was missing!”

Anakin gave her a quick grin. “We knew. Don’t worry, Senator. Sullust is back in the hands of the Prime Minister, and your negotiations can resume.”

He motioned to the guard to open the cell.

“Are you okay? Were you treated well?”

She grimaced slightly. “I can’t say the food was very good, but otherwise it wasn’t too terrible. They mostly forgot about me, I think.”

Anakin nodded. “They’ve been distracted with their coup and with the Republic garrison.”

“Well, I can’t thank you enough for not only rescuing me, but for overthrowing the Minister of Justice. It is imperative that the Sullust rejoins the Republic. Such an alliance would allow us better deals with the SoroSuub Corporation.”

“I’m glad to help.”

And to his surprise, he was. All in all, it’d been a very cut and dry mission. He’d fought some battle droids, saved a Senator, and restored a planet’s democracy. The kind of mission that reminded him what being a Jedi was supposed to be like.

But, even though by the time he got back to Naboo, it’d be less than three days, he still missed his family. 

“Senator, I am needed elsewhere, so I will be leaving Sullust very soon, but I have gotten word that Master Secura is on her way now from Felucia,” he said as they walked out of the prison.

“I understand. Thank you again, for your help.”

--

Padmé smiled as she sat in the grass outside of Varykino. She, Dormé, and Ahsoka sat in a circle so that the twins could play in between them on a blanket she’d laid out, belly crawling in between the three of them and soaking in the sunshine.

“Leia, Leia,” she said in a sing-songy voice. “What are you doing, sweetheart?” She was scooting her way over to her, slowed down by the stuffed nerf whose leg she had clutched in one hand. 

Padmé laughed as she struggled to make it over to her. “You’re going to have to set that down, you know.”

“She seems pretty determined,” Ahsoka said with a grin. Padmé was so thankful that she and Dormé were both here with her. Ahsoka had arrived back yesterday from Mandalore after Anakin told her that he was going on a mission. Padmé wasn’t sure how she would’ve taken care of the twins these last two days without them. And Ahsoka was so good with the twins. She loved to gently toss them into the air, and play games to make them laugh.

After a few more moments of struggle, Leia finally made it over to her, and put her hands on her knees, looking up at her mother beseechingly. “Oh, okay,” she acquiesced, reaching down to pick her up and set her on her lap. 

She glanced over to where Luke was sitting in front of Dormé, who was trying to read her one of those thick paged children’s books that had lots of animals with little circles of textures for them to touch. Unfortunately, Luke seemed more interested in trying to eat the book than touching it. 

“Luke,” Ahsoka called, trying to get his attention. “Watch this!” 

Dormé turned Luke around so he and Leia could both watch as Ahsoka levitated their wooden Aurebesh alphabet blocks in the air, making them spin and dance around mid-air. 

Luke’s eyes were wide with wonder as he watched. Padmé glanced down to see that Leia’s eyes were similarly wide, reaching out with one hand. Ahsoka raised her eyebrows as one of the blocks floated loose from its formation, bobbing unsteadily through the air until it landed on the ground in front of Padmé and Leia. 

“Whoa,” Ahsoka said, impressed. “Good job, Princess!”

Padmé smiled down at Leia, and tried to press down the worry she felt at any reminder of her children’s Force sensitivity. It wasn’t that she didn’t want her children to be trained in it; she just knew that if Luke and Leia were anything like her and Anakin, they would already be magnets for trouble without adding Force sensitivity. It seemed like a lot to place onto such young children.

“What age do Jedi younglings usually start doing things like that?” Dormé asked.

“Oh, it depends,” Ahsoka replied, setting the blocks down into a pyramid formation in front of Luke. “On whether or not they’re raised in the Temple around other Force-users, and on how strong in the Force they are.” She looked between the two children consideringly. “I guess with a father as strong as Anakin, and having the two of us around them all the time, this is a pretty reasonable age. Maybe a little young. Usually parents start reaching out to the Jedi about their child’s strange powers before the kid turns two or three.”

Padmé smoothed down Leia’s already thick brown hair that seemed to want to stick out in all directions. “I can’t imagine raising a child with these kinds of powers unexpectedly. It must be scary.”

Ahsoka nodded. “It’s the main way that the Jedi get children. All hospitals within the Republic suggest that children have their midichlorian count tested at birth, but it’s not a requirement. Most parents reach out when they don’t know what to do, when they worry that they won’t be able to provide the best life for their child anymore.”

That made sense, Padmé supposed. She couldn’t imagine any parent who had wanted their pregnancy to be willing to give up their child right after birth, but when faced with mysterious powers, and a promise of a better life for their child, Padmé could understand what a difficult decision it must be, especially if the Order applied any sort of pressure on those parents. She was only glad that she would have Anakin and Ahsoka in her life to help her raise a Force-sensitive child without the Order.

As Luke lunged forward after the pyramid of blocks, Padmé’s comm went off. She quickly accepted the call, holding her holorecorder at face level after glancing down at the datapad she’d brought out with her to see that it was from Anakin. 

His miniature blue form appeared before her. He appeared to be sitting in his starfighter. 

“Anakin, is everything okay? Are you headed home?”

He grinned and nodded. “Everything’s fine,” he assured her. “I saved the Senator, saved the day, saved a democracy. All in a day’s work,” he said with a cocky grin. 

Ahsoka rolled her eyes from behind his holographic form, causing Padmé to chuckle. 

“Well, we’re glad to hear it,” she replied. She angled the holorecorder down slightly so he could see Leia seated in her lap. 

Anakin brightened at the sight of her. “Are you guys outside?”

“All five of us,” Padmé confirmed. “It’s such a beautiful day out. Hurry home, and you could join us for dinner.”

Anakin nodded. “Will do. I just wanted to give you a quick call before I made the jump to hyperspace. I love you.”

“Love you,” she echoed, and his blue form blinked away. 

Padmé smiled to herself as Leia chewed on the block that she’d stolen from Ahsoka. Anakin was safe, and he was coming home. They still had nine more months to spend together, and as she sat out on the lawn, it almost felt like all the time in the world.

--

Those nine months passed much like the previous three. In a blur of feedings and nap times and diaper changes. Visits from her family, taking the children out onto the lake, trying to convince them to eat their first solid veggies. 

But Anakin could even blink, a year had passed on Naboo, and he and Padmé were already packing their bags to leave. 

 “I’m not ready to go,” Padmé said, pausing her packing.

Anakin looked up from where he’d been packing his own bag and saw tears in her eyes. “Me either.”

“It just doesn’t feel long enough,” she continued. “I can’t believe that the twins are already almost a year old.”

He nodded. While their year on Naboo had been wonderful, the last month or so had started to feel more and more suffocating as they both realized that their time as a whole family was almost up. Every moment began to feel like it had to be something special, something that they could both hold on to for later.

And now their year was almost up. The twins would turn one year old in three days, and Anakin would have to run the blood test to test their midichlorian counts. 

They would have to run the test while still on Naboo, and Anakin would fly back in his Jedi starfighter with one child and Artoo, while Padmé and the other child flew back on the Naboo star skipper with Dormé, Ahsoka, and Threepio. 

The official story, Anakin had been informed by Obi-Wan, was that he was undercover somewhere in the Mid-Rim. After his “mission” was over, the Council would supposedly hear from Senator Amidala about a Force-sensitive child on Naboo with no parents, and would send Anakin to investigate. 

“Let’s take a break from packing,” Anakin suggested. “I’m sure that Ahsoka could use a break from watching them.”

Padmé nodded, wiping her eyes, trying to pull herself together. His heart clenched at seeing her so distraught. He knew that what was happening to them wasn’t his fault, but it still felt like she would have been better off with someone else. He knew better than to say that, though, instead pulling her into his arms and holding her.

After a moment, Padmé stepped back, nodding to herself. “Okay, yes, let’s go,” she said determinedly. 

They walked out of their bedroom, across the second floor living space, and into the children’s playroom. 

Ahsoka was seated cross-legged on the floor with Leia in her lap as Luke sat near her, playing with a plastic ball that had lots of buttons on it, each one producing either a sound or a colored light. 

“Hey, look who it is!” Ahsoka told Leia, turning around as they approached. “It’s mom and dad!” Leia babbled happily in response, and made a reaching motion towards Anakin. 

He grinned and swooped down to pick her up. He kissed her on the forehead, causing her to scrunch up her face and giggle. She babbled some more nonsense at him, and he nodded seriously. “I’m happy to see you, too,” he said with a grin. 

Leia looked so much like Padmé already, with her big, dark brown eyes, and her dark brown hair that still wasn’t quite long enough to do anything but tie the longest hairs into a single ponytail sticking straight out on top of her head. Anakin called it her antenna, much to Padmé’s chagrin. 

“Are you guys done packing?” Ahsoka asked.

“Hardly. But we needed a break, and figured you might, as well,” Padmé replied as she sat down next to Luke, smoothing out her skirt as she did so. 

Ahsoka smiled and reached over to tickle Luke, “Need a break? From these two bundles of energy?” she joked. “Never!” She ruffled Luke’s hair, causing him to laugh some more. “This guy just got changed, but she,” pointing at Leia, “will probably need it soon.” 

Padmé nodded, and Ahsoka got up to leave. “Bye kiddos!” she said, waving at both of them. “I’m going to go do some packing myself,” she told Anakin as she walked out. 

“Ma!” Luke exclaimed, suddenly, reaching out his arms towards Padmé. She grinned as she picked him up and set him on her lap. Both of the twins had started babbling more and more lately. It was hard to tell what “words” were actual words and which were just coincidences. 

Anakin sat down next to Padmé and Luke, Leia still in his arms. “Have you guys been good for Ahsoka?” he asked them, smiling as they both looked at him, blue eyes and brown, and babbled a response.

“You two are always good, aren’t you?” Padmé said, brushing a kiss to the top of Luke’s head. 

“Is that true? Are you always good?” Anakin asked Leia, bouncing her up and down on one of his legs. She laughed and he glanced over to see Padmé smiling softly at the two of them.

 He could tell what she was thinking. If they didn’t have many of these moments left, then they would have to treasure every one.

--

“And don’t forget to comm us when you reach Coruscant,” Jobal told Padmé, voice thick with emotion. 

Padmé nodded. “I won’t.” She gave her mother another hug. Her mother wrapped her arms tightly around her, and Padmé felt her hands running comforting circles on her back.

“If you ever need anything at all, comm me.” 

Padmé nodded wordlessly. They were all meeting her family Varykino one last time to say goodbye, before they had to leave for Coruscant. 

Ruwee was talking quietly to Anakin while holding Luke in his arms. Sola was saying goodbye to Leia.

The goodbyes lasted several minutes of passing the babies around and hugging. Her parents even pulled Ahsoka and Dormé into the hugging action, much to both of their amusement. 

After her family left, Dormé and Ahsoka made themselves scarce, so Anakin and Padmé could be alone with the children. 

Anakin had the same blood testing equipment that Qui-Gon had tested him with all those years ago, and AZ had the equipment to test it.

Padmé felt like time was moving at half speed as she held Luke, who was being very squirmy in her arms, as Anakin quickly cleaned a spot on Luke’s chubby arm.

“Would you like me to do this, Master Anakin?” AZ asked, hovering next to her. 

Anakin shook his head. “No, I’ve got it.” He carefully pricked Luke’s arm with the needle. 

Luke barely reacted, going still for a moment, before turning to look up at Padmé. She smiled comfortingly at him, bouncing him in her arms. “Good job, Luke!” she cooed at him. “That didn’t hurt at all, did it?”

“Good job, little man,” Anakin agreed, only able to conjure up the barest hint of a smile as ruffled his hair.

Padmé sat Luke back down on the ground on the playmat and picked up Leia. “Your turn, sweetheart.” Leia watched with big eyes as Anakin swabbed her arm and then pricked her with the needle, a tear rolling down her cheek.

“Aww, Princess,” Anakin comforted her, “I’m sorry.” He handed AZ the testing equipment and Padmé let him take her. He gave a pouting Leia a kiss on her nose, before cuddling her into his chest. “I know that hurt, didn’t it?”

Padmé couldn’t help herself but smile at the two of them. Since day one, Leia had had Anakin wrapped around her little finger. 

Luke had crawled back over to her, and tugged at her skirt. “You want up?” she asked him, already bending to do so. 

She took a deep breath, hugging Luke to herself. “AZ, go ahead and analyze the results.”

AZ used his own satellite technology to communicate with the medical equipment in her star skipper to run the results remotely. “Do you want to know the midichlorian counts of each child, or do you just want to know who has the higher count?” AZ asked.

Padmé exchanged a look with Anakin, her heart in her throat. She hugged Luke closer to her, and she could feel tears starting to run down her face. She barely noticed when Anakin stepped over to her, to wrap the arm not holding Leia around her.

“Just which is higher,” Anakin answered quietly.

“The counts are very similar,” AZ began, “But Leia’s midichlorian count is slightly higher.”

Padmé started crying in truth now, turning into Anakin’s arms, still holding Luke, so that she could put her free hand around Leia. 

She could tell that the children were confused. Luke was moving anxiously in her arms, but she couldn’t help it. She had ignored the truth of what was going to happen to her family for a whole year, and now  the seemingly far off future was upon them. It seemed too overwhelming for her to comprehend. 

--

Anakin stepped back after a minute or two when he could tell that the children were getting restless. “Here,” he said quietly, “You take her for a bit. I want to say goodbye to Luke.” Padmé nodded through her tears and let him take Luke with his flesh hand as his mechanical one handed Leia off. Padmé sat down on one of the couches, clutching Leia against her shoulder, murmuring into her ear. 

“Da?” Luke asked, blue eyes peering up at him in concern. Anakin tried to give him a bit of a smile. “Hey there, little man.” Anakin hugged Luke to his chest, and wished that he would be able to remember anything that he was about to say.

“The next time I see you,” he told him, “it won’t be like this. We’ll have to pretend that I’m not your dad, okay?” He leaned Luke back in his arms, so his legs were against his chest, and he could look his son in the eyes. “But guess what? That doesn’t mean that I’m not your dad. I’ll always be your dad. And I’ll always be there for you and your mom, okay?” Luke blinked his blue eyes at him, looking solemn. Anakin could tell that he was picking up on his emotions through the Force. 

He hugged Luke again, smelling the top of his head, taking in the sweet baby scent. 

Padmé was still on the couch with Leia, who was now on Padmé’s knee, as she ran her fingers through Leia’s wispy brown hair. “I’m going to go get Ahsoka,” he told Padmé, who nodded, looking only briefly up at him.

He carried Luke up the stairs to the sitting room where he assumed Ahsoka and Dormé were waiting. As he climbed the steps, he thought about the future. He would return to the Temple with Leia. She would be known from now on as Leia Lars, which was his step-family’s name, but also a not uncommon name on Naboo. Luke would go to 500 Republica with Padmé a day later, and Anakin wouldn’t visit Luke for at least a month. They wanted to give him time so that he could see him as a new person, his mother’s friend and bodyguard, not as his father. 

Ahsoka and Dormé were indeed waiting for him in the living area. “We’re almost ready,” he told them. “Leia and I will be leaving soon.”

He could tell that Dormé had also been crying before he’d come up, and Ahsoka looked as upset as he’d ever seen her.

“I’m sorry, Anakin,” was all she said. Anakin nodded. 

“You two should go down and say goodbye to her.”

He followed them back down the stairs, and took a seat on the couch opposite Padmé. She reluctantly handed Leia off to Dormé, before walking over to Anakin and sitting down next to him.

“I’m not going to be able to teach her how to do her hair,” she said, leaning her head on his shoulder. “I won’t be able to brush it for her like my mother always did for me.” Anakin wrapped an arm around her. He knew that the mother-daughter relationship was very important to the Naboo, and he hated that she wouldn’t be able to experience that.

“Ani, I don’t know if I can do this,” she whispered.

He swallowed around the lump in his throat. “I don’t know if I can, either.” He looked at Luke. “We have to be strong. For them.”

She nodded tearfully, and reached out a hand to Luke, who grabbed her index finger and immediately brought it to his mouth and started mouthing on it. She gave a short laugh of surprise.

“Master Anakin, if you want to make it to the Jedi Temple before nightfall, you’ll need to leave very soon,” Threepio informed them as he entered the room, Artoo trailing behind him.

He nodded. He looked over at Dormé, who had passed Leia off to Ahsoka at some point. “Could you take him for a second?” She nodded, and strode over to pick up Luke. She looked at the two of them. “We’ll give you two a minute alone.” She ushered Ahsoka and the droids out of the room.

He pulled back so that he could look at Padmé. He knew they would see each other in a few days, but it wouldn’t be the same. He reached out his flesh hand to her face, rubbing her cheek with his thumb. “We’ll be okay,” he told her as confidently as he could. “This is only temporary. We will be a family again, someday. We’ll all be together.”

She nodded, looking up at him. “You have to help her,” she all but pleaded. “You have to make sure that she has love in her life.”

Anakin nodded. “I will.” 

“If you don’t, she won’t ever want to be a part of our family,” she said, tears starting to fall again. “She’ll be too much like the rest of them.”

He shook his head. “I won’t let that happen.” He leaned in and gave her a gentle kiss, tasting the salt from her tears on her lips. He felt her reach out and grab his robes with both hands. He moved his hand from her face down to her waist to move her closer to him, pulling her all but onto his lap. He deepened the kiss, feeling the urgency of their imminent separation, before pulling back, resting his forehead on hers. “I love you, with all my heart,” he whispered. “We will get through this,” he promised her.

“I love you, too,” she whispered back. 

--

Anakin glanced back to where Leia was strapped into her speeder seat in the back of the speeder on their way to the nearest spaceport, which was where he’d landed his Jedi fighter. About five minutes into the speeder ride, Leia had started crying, and hadn’t stopped since. This was the furthest apart she and Luke had ever been. He reached out in the Force to try and comfort her, to no avail. 

“Oh dear,” Threepio said, “Mistress Leia sounds most unhappy.”

Artoo beeped a response that Anakain could tell was not very polite. Anakin couldn’t help but grin. Threepio was coming along to fly the speeder back to Varykino, and now wasn’t really the time for his helpful commentary.

Thankfully, the flight to the spaceport was not a long one, and Anakin was able to climb out of the speeder and extract Leia from her seat. “Artoo,” he said, as he cradled a still wailing Leia against his shoulder, “go ahead and get the fighter ready for flight. I’m going to try and settle her down. And Threepio, you can go ahead and head back to Varykino.”

“Yes, sir,” said Threepio. “I do hope you and Mistress Leia have a safe flight back to Coruscant.”

Anakin started walking around the nearly empty starport, bouncing Leia in his arms as he walked. “Come on now, Princess,” he said. “Don’t cry. Everything’s okay.” He heard a beep behind him and found Artoo holding out Leia’s pacifier and smiled gratefully at the astromech. “Thanks, Artoo.” 

He gave the pacifier to Leia, which helped a little, but she continued to sniffle around it, tears still streaking her cheeks. 

He sighed. He and Padmé had been so caught up in how they were feeling about the separation that they hadn’t even considered that either of the twins would have such a strong, immediate reaction. 

“If you cry the whole ten hours, neither of us is going to have much fun,” he muttered. “Not much room in a starfighter.”

He closed his eyes, reaching out to touch her bright, fiery presence in the Force. Everything’s okay, he sent her. He continued to send her waves of calming affirmations until she truly settled down and drifted off to sleep. 

By that point, Artoo had the fighter prepped and ready to go, their two bags stored in a compartment under the cockpit, so Anakin was able to climb carefully up the ladder one handed. He maneuvered his way into the seat, Leia’s sleeping head resting on his shoulder. Getting the harness on with her on his shoulder was a bit of a challenge, but he managed it. 

After quickly comming the Temple to let them know he would be arriving with a new Initiate and comming the starport’s communications tower, they lifted off. Anakin reached out and brushed the minds of his wife and his son, saying one last goodbye, before taking off into the atmosphere to engage the fighter’s hyperspace ring.

--

The sun was setting over the Jedi Temple as Anakin dropped into the atmosphere, the hyperspace ring already disengaged. Leia was asleep again; this time he’d adjusted his seat back so she could sit on his lap and fall asleep leaning back against him. 

Her little antenna of hair brushed his chin when he leaned down to check some of the controls and instruments. 

His little Princess. He’d realized while in hyperspace that he wouldn’t be able to call her that anymore. She wasn’t Leia Skywalker, daughter of Naboo’s favorite Queen any longer. From now on, she was Leia Lars, the daughter of two dead farmers on Naboo. 

He blinked as he looked down at her, sleeping contentedly on his lap. He was approaching the Temple; he couldn’t afford to show emotion now. He had to appease the Council as much as possible if he wanted to remain a Jedi, if he wanted to be able to see his daughter. 

“Jedi Temple traffic, Delta 7B Aethersprite-class 7514Y, landing platform A from the southeast, Temple Precinct.”

He maneuvered the fighter onto the landing platform, and engaged the landing gear. He landed softly enough that Leia didn’t stir, until the cockpit canopy opened with a hiss, and she blinked softly awake. 

He wondered if she would ever fall asleep on his lap like this again.

“Hey now,” he whispered, “go back to sleep.” He stayed seated for another moment, waiting for her to drift back off. She’d only been napping for fifteen minutes or so, and would be cranky if she didn’t sleep longer. 

“I’ll always be your dad,” he whispered to her, suddenly feeling the need to promise her. “I’ll always love you. I’ll always be there for you. You’ll never be alone, Leia,” he swore, as she drifted back off to sleep. 

Once Anakin was certain she was asleep once more, he carefully maneuvered her into the crook of his arm and climbed one handed out of the cockpit and down the ladder onto the landing platform. 

The sun, now directly behind the Temple, radiated bright red and deep purple hues. Anakin looked down at his sleeping daughter. He wondered if she would remember any of this year, deep down somewhere, if she would remember having a family who loved her earnestly and completely and unconditionally. 

Waiting for Anakin on the platform was Master Yoda, Master Windu and a Mirialan Jedi he didn’t recognize.

In that moment, Anakin was a heartbeat away from turning around and running back to his starfighter, and taking his daughter as far away as he could. 

But he didn’t. He kept walking. Didn’t Leia deserve a stable, happy childhood? The Jedi might not be a normal upbringing, but he knew that younglings raised in the Temple had fond memories of their childhoods. And didn’t she deserve to be trained like he had been? She was powerful, both of his children were, he could feel it, and he knew that Obi-Wan and Ahoka had felt it, too. 

And most of all, didn’t she deserve the chance, no matter how far off, to be apart of a family again someday?

He kept walking.

“So, a youngling, you have found?” asked Master Yoda. 

His words stuck in his throat. It was a moment before he could answer. “Yes, Master. An orphan, from Naboo. Strong in the Force.”

“And her name, what is?”

“Leia. Leia Lars,” he said, managing to keep his voice steady. 

“You have done well, Skywalker,” Master Windu said. “Jedi Seminaria will take her down to the crèche.”

The other Jedi, Jedi Seminaria, stepped forward to take Leia from him, to take his daughter away from his arms. He glanced down at Leia, still wearing the flowery patterned play outfit that Padmé had dressed her in at the beginning of the day, still dozing peacefully. 

He passed her over, and she stirred slightly as she left his arms. “I’ll take her down to the crèche,” Jedi Seminaria murmured, bowing to the three of them. The other two Masters bowed slightly to her, and Anakin remembered to follow suit. 

He looked past Master Yoda and Master Windu, watching as Jedi Seminaria walked into the Temple from the landing platform, the reds and purples in the sky around them fading up into the deep indigo of nightfall. 

“You have done well,” Master Windu said after a long moment. “We weren’t totally sure if you would go through with it.”

Anakin didn’t say anything.

“For the best, this is. Only here in the Temple will her full potential, Leia be able to achieve. Even better if her brother was also here, it would be.”

Anakin shook his head. “The Jedi are not the only way.”

“We are the path of the lightside,” Master Windu snapped. “Master Yoda is correct. If anyone as powerful in the Force as Leia Lars is, is going to fulfill her full potential, then the Temple is the best place for her.”

Anakin decided it was better not to argue. Suddenly, he felt too exhausted to say anything, so he just nodded. 

He noticed Obi-Wan walking towards them. “Master Kenobi,” Master Windu greeted him. “Did you need anything?”

Obi-Wan bowed. “No, Masters. I am only here to greet Anakin.”

With that, the other two Masters bowed, and headed back into the Temple.

Obi-Wan looked at him and sighed once the others were further away. “I’m so sorry, Anakin.”

Anakin shook his head, crossing his arms as he started walking the way Obi-Wan had come from. “I feel like I am failing. As a father, for abandoning both of my children. As a Jedi, for loving them and even having a family at all.”

“You’re not abandoning them. None of this was your choice. And you’ll still be in their lives; it’s not as if you’re dropping them off on some backwards planet and running off. You’re trying to do what’s best for them, in very difficult circumstances.” 

Anakin nodded. Obi-Wan was right. He wasn’t abandoning them, and he wasn’t giving up on them. They would all be together, someday.

[allegrafitzgerald]

BASICS

Name: Allegra Genevieve Fitzgerald

Gender & pronouns: nonbinary, they/them and she/her

Species: wereworlf

Age: 27, October 28th

PERSONALITY

Traits: resourceful, cautious, cynical, organized, wary

Moral alignment / MBTI / enneagram: lawful neutral /  istj /  8

Values: order, loyalty, compassion

Flaws: unforgiving, pride, envy

TLDR

Just to jumpstart plotting: Allegra is relatively (a few months) new to town. A wolf that was bitten at 18 and shunned by her family of hunters. She doesn’t trust anyone, doesn’t want to do anything other than survive, and Blackrock’s her best bet for that. Secretive and closed off, craving stability and secretly longing for a home! Very similar to my original take on Allegra from when I was here briefly at the start, but with minor adjustments

HISTORY

TW: Minor Violence, Suicide references

You are Allegra Fitzgerald, the first daughter of Richard and Emilia Fitzgerald, both prominent members of their social circles. They are sure, they are confident, they are icons. You are to be the same when you’re of age. And so, they teach you. They teach you to read and write, they teach you how to speak and how to listen. Tutors and teachers are brought in. You sing, you write, you dance. You also learn archery. A funny thing for someone so light and airy, but your parents insist on it and no questions their word.

Despite the oddity of the bow and arrow placed in your small hands, you think that this is your favorite of your lessons. You don’t know why but it feels right when you pull the string taut, arrow notched and carefully aimed. You feel like you were born for this. One day, you’re certain, your aim will be true every time.

Your parents take a lot of trips when you are young, leaving you alone with nannies or with friends. When you are older, around fifteen, you find out why. Your parents are not the benevolent socialites they always made themselves out to be. They are hunters. At first, you were confused, but they continued to explain. Werewolves, apparently, existed. Your parents were heroes to humankind still, defending others from monsters that could tear them limb from limb.

You are to be just like them, an heir to a monster-hunting throne.

You do not object. 

You learned young that you’re meant to be the person your parents are trying to shape you to be. There’s no room for disobedience, for questioning their edicts. The idea of rebelling has never occurred to you. 

But you’re still training, three years later, when, the unthinkable happens. You are in the woods, not too far astray from your parents and their fellow hunters. It is the first time your parents brought you on a hunt with them, the first time you’re expected to truly do your part. You might have been dawdling a little, nervous and wondering if this is right,  but a beast rushes out of the woods and the next thing you know you are on your back. There is a wound to your middle, rough and tearing. You cry for your parents, but when they come, you don’t recognize the looks on their face. It’s disgust. It’s hatred. It’s because of you.

They give you a gun and tell you to do what needs to be done.

Then they leave you.

Had one of them been in your shoes, things would have ended differently. But you? You hesitate instead. You can’t kill yourself for the betterment of humanity.

Instead, you run.

You run and you run and you run.

You find home in the mountains, cold enough year round that you can be a wolf full time. It’s easier that way. You don’t have to think about your family, you don’t have to think about their abandonment. All that matters is hunt, eat, and rest. That becomes your cycle. Hunt. Eat. Rest. There is nothing more to you.

You are, at  your core, a wolf.

You’ve lost count of the years in your wandering. You stay near those mountains, but sometimes you like to stretch your limbs, pace the woods and explore. You avoid humans. They make you think, which is something you refuse to do. 

But sometimes you wander too close to town, catch sight of families and even your wolf starts to long for that. You can only be a lone wolf for so long before something snaps, and one day, you shifted back.

This exploring comes back to bite you. One day, you are only minding yourself, when you feel the sharp sting of a bullet grazing your side. Hunters, like your family had been, like you were supposed to be. They found you. So you do what you do best. You run. 

It is safer to hide in plain sight, so against everything in you screaming to do the opposite, you follow your instincts and find a town. You’re human again for the first time in a decade.

You hate this.

You were not meant to be human, not since you were eighteen, not since your family turned you away.

Blackrock is name that tugs at your memories, ones you’ve carefully buried in the years you’ve been a wolf. It’s familiar because it’s where Spruce is, the only person from your old life that feels anything close to safe. It’s a risk, still, but you arrive in town half off instinct, desperate to survive in this world.

Desperate to live. 

Blackrock is what you expected. You  keep yourself as isolated as you can, distrusting any kindness that you encounter. People aren’t good. You learned that the hard way already.

You do not want to be a part of this pack. It feels wrong. It’s not right. You are jealous of them all, these people, these wolves, who have close ties with others. They have family. You don’t have that, not anymore. You were cursed with a bite, and with just one moment in the wrong place at the wrong time, everything was stolen from you. Of all the paths your life could have gone, of all the choices you could have made, this wouldn’t have been the one you picked for yourself. But there’s safety in numbers, so you ended up here. They don’t know much about you, they don’t know your past or your family. You are just a wolf who needs a safe place to rest.

DEVELOPMENT

So obviously this is a minor rework of Allegra from when I was previously in Shiver, and the long-term plan for Allegra is the same-that eventually she will come to terms with the fact that, just because her family rejected her and didn’t want her, not everyone will. She could come to admire, maybe even love, this new pack that has allowed her a safe haven. However, that won’t come soon, and I think the added dynamics with Spruce and Reed will build on that struggle to find peace, to make herself a home here. Even once she does find her place within the pack, she is always going to have a sense of paranoia to her, a sense that maybe being alone and by herself in the woods will be better than --- than this. She still has a sinking feeling that she needs to run.

She isn’t as grounded as she likes to present herself to be, too skittish the second anyone gets in her space. Not even close to her-just close enough for her to perceive them as a threat. As she slowly starts to let members of the pack in, her defenses are slowly going to calm down for those few people. She’ll likely never be one to go for physical contact, but eventually she won’t tense if someone is within an arm’s length of her.

CONNECTIONS

[ ZACH ] seems to want something from me, why else would they be this kind? I don’t trust it ( Allegra hasn’t known kindness in far too many years, and they can’t accept anyone doing anything out of the goodness of their heart )

My past is the past, it shouldn’t matter to anyone here. So why does [ OPEN ] ask so many questions ( They were supposed to be a hunter. Allegra might never have killed a wolf, but that was the path they were on and they’re scared of how that will impact things with the pack if it gets out. This person is pushing, asking too many questions, making them scared they’ll have to run again )

Something about [ SOLA ] makes me feel at ease. I don’t understand why, but I’m drawn to them. I’ll do my best to avoid them. ( Friend or family or loved one, it does’t matter. Allegra has only had themselves since the moment they were bitten, and they didn’t have much prior to that to begin with. Closed off she might be, Allegra wants to let this person in, they just don’t know where to start )

[ OPEN ] doesn’t know how to mind their business, and it’ll come back to bite them one day ( Allegra is going to fight someone, wound too tightly to relax and finally snapping )

I was young when I turned, and I never got to experience some aspects of my humanity while I was living as a wolf. [ OPEN ] is part of that ( Allegra spent almost a decade after turning 18 as a wolf, and it turns out that hooking up is fun and good and the only form of contact that doens’t immediately set them on edge )