#and it's not gay if you don't fuck! because being gay without fucking was invented in 1906 at the prussian court!

[shakespearerants]

Sometimes trying to specialize in the European middle ages is like: *goes to a seminar about ceramics*

And sometimes trying to specialize in the European middle ages is like: *Prof starts lecture 10 mins late due to had to finish the PowerPoint**opens said PowerPoint* Being gay (MEN ONLY) was invented at the Prussian court in 1906 and I can PROVE IT.

[badasscoffeemug]

okay, so, i tried to pull as many interviews as i could to see if i could parse what the original plan for bucktommy was (or if there even was any), and subsequently, if there had been a pivot of any kind. now, we are not privy to any bts talk, and storylines are never set in stone, even from when they've been teased or promoted (henchim friction? hello?) but interviews are really all we have to go off of. so, idk, i compiled some quotes, all bolded emphasis is mine.

i kinda got the impression that it really was supposed to be a 4-episode arc for tommy, after which he would gracefully bow out and leave buck a newly realized single bisexual. for some reason, that changed and they chose to keep him around and extend that storyline (gelled rather well in the story? opening the door for potential future storylines?). except then they had them break up anyway, leaving buck in much the same place he would have been had they called it quits in 7x06, only much more heartbroken (essentially wasting over half a season's worth of buck storyline, except he's sadder now, i guess). but, judge for yourself.

march 28, 2024, TM: Showrunner Tim Minear also teased future episodes for Tommy. “He’s going to be around for a little bit. He’s not going to be a member of the 118 again, but he is going to be involved in some stories.”

april 4, 2024, TM: “I was kind of bored with the hamster wheel of the relationships [Buck] had been in. His story needed a slap. It needed some something fresh. This felt like it could be important to some people, and it felt like it was right for the character.”

OS: “I’ve always had in my head that I wanted a partner for Buck to be someone where it wasn’t easy”

TM: “That’s what I like about this. He’s not siloed off into some love interest story with a character who has nothing to do with the main characters.”

Minear noted that Tommy is currently an important romantic partner for Buck, largely because “it’s sort of the entry-level relationship.” Yet at the same time, he noted that he doesn’t think “anybody’s making wedding plans.”

“It really is a first fling for Buck right now. What that might amount to, only time can tell. But what I’m interested in is not something that’s fraught. I’m interested in something that’s tender and positive”

april 4, 2024, OS: “The focus was on it being important, but also not wanting it to feel like the bravest episode in television. We just wanted to tell a lighthearted love story that happens to be a queer love story.”

april 5, 2024, TM: “[what] I don't want to do is the mistake that I think we've made with some of the other love interests, which is siloing those characters off into their love life and they have no kind of organic connection to the rest of the characters in the story. [...] Going with Tommy allowed us to start to play a story without just inventing a whole new character just for the purpose of being the bi character or the gay character or the male love interest for Buck.”

april 12, 2024, TM: “that moment at the end of the episode where he sits down with Tommy and says, “You said I wasn’t ready. I don’t know what I’m ready for, but I’m ready for something. I’m just sure what that is yet.” But he feels safe with Tommy. So even though he doesn’t know exactly what road he’s stepping onto, he’s willing to roll the dice.”

april 12, 2024, LFJ: "So, it happens in phases. My manager said 9-1-1 called, and I was like, 'Cool.' And then he is like, 'All right, well, they called for an arc.' And I'm like, 'Four episodes? Cool.'

"Given the circumstances, we just kissed. There's something there. We go on a date, and then Eddie happens to show up because there's only one restaurant, I guess, in L.A., and I would totally understand if he was nervous and whatnot." (this quote has nothing to do with my point really i just think it's so fucking funny. this entire interview is so messy.)

"I have no idea," he explained when asked what the future could hold for the duo. "If the writers do choose to extend this storyline and make it into its own thing [...] I'm just as excited as you are to find out."

april 12, 2024, OS: "I just hope he continues down that path and I think we will see him opening up more and more, and being louder and prouder about it. I want to tell real stories where not everything is going to be straightforward, but I don’t want the angst or the trauma to be in these kind of negative troupes that we’ve seen before. I want them to have real world problems that couples or people who are first dating have, but I don’t want it to be rooted in outside people being homophobic or anything like that. Those are stories we have seen and we’ve told, and sure, of course, happen in the real world, but I want to tell a happy story between these people and a real story. They have issues and they have things to deal with, but I just want them to be real world, everyday relationship issues."

april 18, 2024, OS: "we want to tell it in an honest way where not everything is going to be easy and carefree. There are going to be issues, but we also don't want it to feel like it's down or too heavy. We want to tell this queer love story in a very honest way, but also in a very loving way."

"Tarlos is a beautiful relationship," Stark says. "I'm just honored to get to tell a story that can kind of partner up with that and maybe continue with a similar thread."

"I really want to see Buck continue to explore what it is that really speaks to him, and what he's into," Stark says. "He's obviously going to continue down this path with Tommy for now. I don't know what that story is going to end up being, but I would really like for Tommy to stay a part of Buck's life, regardless. He's obviously opened this door for him, and I think it would be really nice if [Tommy] was able to continue to hold [Buck's] hand and could help guide him through this process. As somebody who's a little older and more experienced, to kind of help shepherd Buck into this new phase of understanding who he is."

april 23, 2024, OS: “I really enjoy [Lou]. I really enjoy working with him. I think he’s been a great addition to the show, and I look forward to — assuming Tommy sticks around for a while — continuing to develop that relationship with him on-screen and off-screen.”

may 2, 2024, JLH: "I’m really excited for Buck, because I think he’s a person that has never quite settled into who he is. And if this is who he is, it’s beautiful,” Hewitt said. “I was so happy Maddie felt that way, because that’s how I would feel. And I’m really happy that she’s there for him. In Season 8, the actor hopes Maddie gets to “understand what all that means, be in that with [Buck], and get to know Tommy better.”

may 3, 2024, KC: “I think it was the brilliance of [co-creator] Tim [Minear]. Even introducing the storyline of Buck and Tommy, he said, "I don't want it to be this very special episode of 9-1-1. I'm going to make this a f---ing romantic comedy, man. You won't see it coming. It'll come out of left field." And I think that's the same thing he did with the revelation. There's no sit down, there's no big discussion or talk about it. It's what it would be. This guy has found love fina…. Well, I think love finally.”

may 3, 2024, KC: "When I heard about the storyline, I was super excited. And on a selfish note, I'm really happy because they brought Lou Ferrigno Jr. back. We've become really good friends, as he was in "Hen Begins," "Bobby Begins Again," and of course "Chimney Begins," and we formed a tight personal bond. I think he's a terrific actor, and I think this new dynamic brings this newfound energy into that storyline and into the show, and I'm excited to see how it blossoms."

not dated? post-7x06, KC: “It’s one of my favorite scenes,” Choi says. “It’s a reveal for most of the characters that Buck has found a love interest he’s actually interested in. It’s adorable, it’s cute, it’s perfect, and the audience is going to love it.”

OS: Stark likens Buck’s journey to “a hamster wheel”: “He’s been taking one step forward and two steps back, as is quite typical of being in your late 20s and early 30s, trying to find yourself,” the actor explains. “As we’ve moved into this seventh season, he’s found a way to really discover who he wants to be.”

july 8, 2024: 7x09 deleted scene released

september 9, 2024, TM: “They’re still getting to know each other a little better”

september 11, 2024, TM: Minear says not much time has passed between the events of the season 7 finale and the season 8 premiere, so there haven't been many developments in Buck and Tommy's relationship. "But we see that they're more comfortable together," he explains. "We'd definitely call them a couple. Obviously they're comfortable hanging out with Eddie, but when you couple with somebody, it takes up some of your time, so that also leaves Eddie a little bit out in the cold. Well, not out in the cold, but Buck doesn't have as much free time as he did before, let's put it that way." (yeah so, this barely happened?)

september 20, 2024, OS: “We don’t really have too much of a time jump moving into this season, so the relationship with Tommy is much where it was left off,” explains Stark. “It is in its early stages. They’re still learning and figuring things out about each other and what a relationship might or could look like.”

[inkskinned]

"it's so embarrassing you like that popular thing" "oh ew that geeky/strange thing is so cringe lol" "oh it's kind of weird you get excited about that harmless shit"

dude i love how ironic and jaded you are and that's so cool and sexy of you. and i am so so glad to tell you - you won!! we all had a meeting and we decided that you won, and we are writing your name on the inside of a burger king crown. the marker smeared, sorry, but we knew any form of real effort is ugly to you. but anyway. congrats! you are officially the coolest, most ironic, most jaded person in-the-world-right-now. we would throw you a party but you would think it was totally boring - and besides, we're weird so we wouldn't have been coming. we would have brought our love of beetles and of baking and of little canapes. we would have brought our artsy videogames and pages of writing. we would have written a poem with you, our hands covered in ink, and spread out a canvas to dance on, the night so lurid and pink.

but do not worry. we will not throw the party. we will just get you a ringlight and that crown i mentioned. it is a nice crown, except for where one of us dropped it.

the vote was a really hard one because we had so many cool ironic people to pick off the shelves. all of you have hands that rot fruit, how strange is that - you can't look at something without destroying it for other people. you like it when you can squeeze a person into a pinpoint - all us small ones scampering our little feet around our ugly joys. the vote was also a hard one because we kept our voices down because you don't like it when we talk too loud. you were on your phone at the time, talking to people other than us. you are a ghoul of every moment - half in, half out, you resent us for being here without shame or embarrassment.

so good news! we have invented an island for people like you. you get to go there and speak into the air things like if you still like watching harmless twitch streamers in 2023 you're fucking boring. you will say things like liveplay podcasts are fucking ugly and it's kind of awkward they try to make everything gay. on the island we made you, all of your words will have weight. they will form in the air like icicles, large white behemoth letters that will crumple in anvils around your feet. maybe we will send someone there once in a while to sweep, but honestly you might be there for a while, alone, waiting. we are busy being outside looking for mushrooms and flapping our hands and humming. we are busy kicking our little heels while we watch cringey tv. we are busy - sorry! as an apology, we have pre-filled the island with every bland, mediocre, unscented thing we could find. the island has the texture of american cheese. the island has an ocean that never gets angry. the island is perfect for you, trust me. you will be so happy there - as happy as you can be, ironically.

we want to say we are sorry for doing harmless things that you find annoying, childish, or unappealing - but we are not sorry. we thought we could help you, because we don't mind laughing at ourselves, but it turns out you are allergic to color and noise and atmosphere, so this is the best that we can do for now. we are all making a big shirt that says i voted in the ironic monarchy. we got you one that is just a fast fashion buttondown. i am so excited for you and this island and the big life you have won. you have a cool jaded grey life and miles of irony to roam. i love you! be well.

now leave us alone.

[ceilidhtransing]

I feel like so much shitty discourse could be avoided if people more consciously bore in mind the fact that Mainstream Society and The Queer Community are, you know, meaningfully different spaces that often have different social phenomena and different issues.

Random example, there'll be a discussion about femininity often being prized over masculinity, especially transmasculinity, in some queer spaces. And there'll be a bunch of transmasculine people talking about being made to feel unwelcome once they came out, feeling pressured to identify as nonbinary rather than as a binary man as that receive less hostility, being increasingly isolated and othered once they started T, feeling pressured to act more feminine and GNC, being told that their presence as a man makes others in the space uncomfortable, etc.

And then inevitably someone will respond with something like “OP what fucking planet are you on. You're fucking insane if you think femininity is prized over masculinity in society. And the idea that nonbinary people have privilege over binary trans people - what is this fucking enbyphobic bullshit? God, some people are so stuck in an echo chamber of terminally online tumblr queers with their invented problems that they've forgotten what it's like in the real world.”

But was the discussion about wider mainstream society? Or was it very particularly about the queer community and issues that these people have faced specifically within that community?

The queer community is a subculture (arguably many subcultures but let's try to keep it simple), and it's totally, utterly standard for subcultures to - even deliberately, as an act of pushback - value different things from the mainstream culture. Aesthetics thought of as “weird” or “[insert slur here]” by the mainstream can be highly prized in the queer community. Identities that are all thought of as equally “fucked-up” and “cringe” by the mainstream can find themselves organised into some weird hierarchy of validity and oppressed-ness within the community. Politics which are considered extremely fringe and radical by the mainstream can be considered the default norm, even a necessity, in the queer community. Gender expressions that are seen as the most basic “normal” thing ever in the mainstream can be devalued by the queer community for “not looking queer enough” or “being straight-passing”. And none of this is a contradiction because this is pretty much how subcultures operate! They assert different values and cultural norms from the culture they exist within and that's partly what makes them subcultures.

So if someone's pointing out “I face this issue specifically when I'm interacting with queer spaces”, it doesn't do the conversation any good to assume that they're talking about mainstream society and attack them for “being deluded about how the real world works” or “inventing fake problems to sound more oppressed” or something. (And the inverse - someone pointing out “I face this issue when I'm interacting with the mainstream” and someone else responding with “I don't know what you're talking about; I never face that issue at all [in my exclusively queer friend group and support network]” - is far rarer, but it does still happen, and it's just as unhealthy for the discussion. Probably the most common example of this I can think of is when cis gay and lesbian people discuss homophobia they've faced, for instance to do with their gender expression, and someone goes “but that doesn't happen, because actually cis gays are a privileged group and I've never seen anyone attack their presentations” - yes, because the frame of reference you're using is the queer community, where being gay is pretty much the expected default, and you're forgetting that in mainstream society, even cisgender gays and lesbians are by no means “a privileged group” that experiences no oppression ever.)

People need to be able to discuss issues in the specific social contexts they're talking about without it being basically guaranteed that someone will misinterpret them and start jumping down their throat in anger at something that wasn't even said or implied. It is so bad for the community when people seemingly can't fathom that the dynamics at play might be different within queer spaces versus out in mainstream society and it leads to so much pointless toxicity and aggressive misunderstanding.

[atopvisenyashill]

actually, why DID aerion threaten to castrate egg and make him into a wife when he already had two sisters? and according to the wiki, maekar's eldest daughter daella is older than egg, so age isn't an issue. i don't know how long aerion was married to daenora but they only ever had one son . . . is grrm trying to imply that on top of everything else wrong with aerion, he might also be a repressed (problematic) gay?

hmmmmm. okay so several things.

one is that he sort of does this with daemon too - that fixation on viserys' sex life (and vice versa) is there in the book, it's not solely a show invention. i don't know that george sees daemon as bisexual (like...genuinely, i honest to god wish i knew how he viewed viserys, daemon, rhaenyra, and laena re: sexuality, i'm so damn curious), and i do think george has this very old fashioned habit of defaulting to like, The Depraved Bisexual, when he's establishing a Targaryen with weird sexual proclivities. But regardless, EYE personally, feel like most of that generation of Targs have very complex identities wrt sexuality because they're on 3/4 targ incest marriages at that point, and there is a lot of sexual abuse and pedophilia cooking in that court. the daemon/alyssa scene for example is daemon working through the fact that he has just has no conception of love without sex - why would he? his parents were siblings, his grandparents were siblings, he's married to his niece (the girl child he rocked on his knee!!), he has this psychosexual obsession with his brother because he wanted to be his brother's wife, and here it is manifesting again as sexual attraction for his mother. he just doesn't understand he has no experience with platonic and loving relationships. and i would argue this inability to separate platonic love from sexual attraction and romantic love is a core theme for every targaryen in the dance, on both the green and black sides.

and they don't break from this! jaehaera and aegon, first cousins, are forced to marry each other. viserys ii forces his children to marry, baelor and daena are forced to marry, and baelor locks his sisters up because of his shame over wanting to fuck them. viserys ii marries and has children by the time he's 13 years old! aegon iv does nothing all day but rape his own sister and sexually prey on teenaged virgin noble girls. the first break from this attitude is daeron but you can see that despite his clear efforts to get them to stop marrying in this way, the practice is still talked about and expected from the people in his family. i think aerion shows a marked return to this idea of sexually abusing people in your family to ~show them love. what's the difference, in the end, between aerion sexually assaulting egg and threatening to castrate him and daemon beating a messenger to death over the news that viserys married an andal? i don't think it's about sexuality so much as it's about showing us the way this family has such a twisted idea of what family even means that they continue to perpetuate deep and lasting harm against each other because it's all they've ever known. it's not about aerion being attracted to men, it's about aerion being attracted to power.

[pechtothevoid]

Hey @bluepeachstudios ! How are ya? i should be doing stuff but instead i'm here with your boy Lonny! whose name i always spell Loony first and then correct it :D Ngl to ya, Lonny's sketch is superior that the end result. I blame it on the brush i'm using for the lineart :] I won't change it tho. They need to be a set. I'm already screw.

SO, HC TIME!:

Ok, i don't remember the ask exactly but i remember reading that Lonny makes the more aesthetically pleasing inventions, but also the less efective. So i thought "Oh, he likes design! What kind of design does he like?" and i think he would really love interior design, which i think you may have mention already or something in that topic? So, yeah, Lonny might be an interior designer. (He would be one of those people that plays the sims just to make cool houses AND HE WOULD BE SO GOOD AT IT. Also, in the Animal Crossing game he shares with Leo and Dea, Lonny is the one that makes the Island cute and neat.)

In that topic, you also mentioned that he has a folder. So i thought it would have a lot of interior design ideas inside. Also that it gives him peace to look at it. This is not a big HC… more like a HC detail /hj But it helps with his anxiety.

I had this HC that i thought before chap 11 (and after Dea's drawing) of Dea and his thoughts. I thought being Deangelo might be really tiring because of all the thought in his head, but he's stable because he has a filter/system to them, so he consumes a lot of energy but is stable. I wanted to mention it because i think Lonny also consumes a lot of energy for of all the paths and worries he has, but doesn't have a filter for them yet and because of that he's kind of an unstable fusion. It's obviously not cannon because in chap11 Dea was outside for days without problem. But idk, i like to compare them. They are both sometimes overwhelmed by their thoughts but Lonny is worst at dealing with them (When he appeared the first thing he did was having a crisis SO-).

You know? Indigo is a weird color. Some people thinks Indigo is this purple shade (like Lonny uses) and others a bright-dark blue? Google Indigo, the differences between the colors is so wild! These are two completely different tones and yet both are considered indigo… (This is not a HC. This is just me being "indigo is not that shade!" at Lonny and discovering that Indigo is a fucking lie.)

Lonny is the only fusion with Leo who i think uses just He and plural they. He might be super gay tho /J

Anyway BYE i need to run or i will be late. This is totally worth it tho /hj (no. Really. I'm def gonna be late. I shouldn't be doing this rn)

[mildlybizarrecorvid]

Remember how I said I'd talk about the guy who looted the UFO in my Dialtone lore post?

Let's talk about Nathaniel Robot.

Born in the early 19th century to middle classed immigrants, Nathaniel initially led a fairly standard life. Then at the age of 8, they left him behind on a family trip and were so caught up in frontier shit they failed to notice and get him back for two years.

A born entrepreneur, Nathaniel made his first break into business running a way station and general store. He quickly changed his surname to Robot, a set of random letters he got by asking strangers for their favorite letter, from his birth name of Murderface, fearing the effects it may have on business.

Nathaniel made his initial fortune, however, with a different business. He made his journey west, as was fashionable at the time, and he noticed a few things rather obvious nowadays.

1: People are happy to work for you if you treat them well, especially if other places won't.

2: There were a lot of women and minorities who wanted to get into various fields, but were unable to because this was the 19th century.

With this knowledge, he set about founding a variety of businesses with the fundamental principle of hiring and treating people solely off of the quality of their work. As you can guess, he was also staunchly pro-union. Because this is my fun lil oc world and I'm god, this worked great for him.

After some years of success and significantly moving the cultural norms leftward, he moved to Alaska in hopes of high yield snow farming. While there, he discovered an alien space ship which had crashed some years prior. Like any right thinking American, he investigated alone without telling anyone. Some time later, he ran into the nearest town raving of devices 'beyond comprehension' and scheduled a demonstration. Once the day came, he showed off a computer he's fixed up, powered by a solar panel he'd pried off the ship.

After he threw money at someone smart to reverse engineer the technology, he'd essentially thrown technology ahead over a century, furthering his business. Despite this, he made many of the patents public with the logic that if someone added a brilliant extra, he could hire them, or give a grant. He was less a brilliant businessman than lucky, and the type who's willing to throw money at anything vaguely interesting.

While technology was able to extend Robot's life significantly, he eventually passed away in the mid 20th century. However, he went out with a bang, mere weeks after announcements of his company creating the first autonomous computer, dubbed a robot in his honor.

Robot's was also a life-long supporter of civil rights movements, known for bragging about his 'anonymous' donations to whichever groups looked most likely to make an effective difference. These actions by someone with an enormous influence (just look at Edison [fuck Edison], or Carnegie for people who could approximate his status) resulted in much of that world achieving the closest to full equality and equity you're going to get in the late 20th century. A known bisexual, Robot's suspected relationship with gay activist Steven Mandater would likely have resulted in scandal if not for the public perception of him being batshit insane anyway.

Examples of what caused that view were his claim that seagulls only don't talk for fear of paying taxes, his claim to have invented calculus before Newton, and the fact that before anyone told him of motion picture technology he withdrew into his rooms for a week before returning with a full script for what would to a person from our world be recognizable as the original Star Wars trilogy.

[bestygogirl]

BEST YGO GIRL: Round 3, Group B

Match 1

please use this as an opportunity to say why you like a character, not why you don't.

Propaganda under the cut!

Yuzu Hiragi

The entire show would not work if the cast wasn't obsessed with her, and they're all right to stan her, literally gets Sora and Serena to defect from Academia with her sheer charisma, beat Masumi at their gay little rivalry, Yugo spends a few days with her and is ready to die for her, Yuya is simply just the loudest about adoring her And why not? She is so clever and determined, doing the most work out of anyone to figure out the myth plot. Actively trains to keep up with the rest of cast. Even when the universe is conspiring against her and trying to keep her down, she fucking headbutts Roger and tells him off or manifests to help save the world in the ultimate girlboss team-up that was the Arc V finale. Truly any dimension without her is worth upending. - The mysterious magical bracelet that isekai's her to different worlds, the Can-Do attitude, the cool poses (fusion summoning), the ADORABLE character design, AND she was 1/4 of a world-saving hero in the past?? If it weren't for the meddling writers, she would have been the main character - yuzu is everything. literally the plot of arc v hinges on the fact everyone who meets her become just as obsessed with her. and they are totally right to do so

Yuna Goha

Yuna is great. She's an absolute bully whenever she's in conflict with the other characters (so sorry to Sky), which honestly? fun. Amazing energy. and then she has gay energy with Rovian and Asaka. Yuna has a surprisingly dynamic character arc, going from just following Rovian around in between bullying people, to taking on the task of inventing a new card (which is very hard work in this universe), and maturing to being one of the town's leaders. She's clearly someone in the process of learning who she is and I've really enjoyed seeing her get to go on that journey. SHE HAS A BASICALLY CANON GIRLFRIEND PLEASE I AM BEGGING BECAUSE ROVIAN GOT ELIMINATED ALREADY

[mrsfrecklesmarauders]

"So what exactly happened there, eh Sirius?"

Remus was furious. He had been in love with Sirius Black since he was ten years old. But this love wasn't easy or beautiful. Sometimes Sirius made Remus go crazy. So angry that he wanted to kill him. So angry he wanted to wrap his hands around his neck and... And... And bloody kiss him senseless. Fuck that gorgeous bastard with those puppy eyes.

"You couldn't just let it go, could you?" Remus snapped "You had to make everything about yourself. You couldn't stand that someone was actually flirting with me and not you for once?"

Sirius had been extremely rude with Emmeline. She hadn't done anything wrong. She was really cool in fact. One of the few girls that didn't fall for Sirius Black's charm. She was lucky. Fancying Sirius was a nightmare.

But no. Sirius couldn't stand it. Could he?

Remus wasn't into Emmeline. He was gay. And he couldn't get Sirius out of his mind. But he liked Emmeline. And it was the first time someone actually flirted with him. It felt nice. But Sirius had to ruin it.

"I find that girl really odd" Sirius snapped "Rumor has it she is always lying and inventing stories..."

Remus shook his head and clenched his teeth.

"Lads, let's just be reasonable. Okay?"

The worst part was that James and Peter had witnessed everything. And now they followed Remus and Sirius to their dorm and were very pendant of Remus' explosive mood. But he didn't care.

"I am just trying to take care of you, Moony"

How dare he use the nickname now. It made Remus weak.

"It is not your business who I hang out with or not, Sirius!"

Remus has raised his voice. Just a little.

"Remus..."

"No James" Remus snapped "He is awful with Lily too. And he was awful with Susan when Peter dated her... Apparently every girl who is not into him immediately deserves shame"

"That's not true!!" It was Sirius' turn to raise his voice.

"I just hate how you guys had become so stupid to go after girls like that. They are not worth it"

"You go after girls all the time!!"

James and Peter were looking between them like a tennis match.

"They are nothing serious" Sirius said "No one to take my time away from my friends and make me a fool"

"Sirius..." James tried "That's not..."

"Of course! I forgot the great Sirius Black is immune to love"

"I didn't say that!" Sirius yelled "You don't even like Emmeline, Moony. You are into blokes"

"That doesn't mean I cannot like her as a friend!"

"She clearly doesn't want to be your friend, Remus!"

"Jealous?" Remus snorted "You cannot stand that a cool and pretty girl isn't actually into you, ha?"

"I don't care! I don't fancy Emmeline"

"Then, why don't you admit that you are jealous because you would die to be with me?"

It came out without a filter. Remus underestimated the power of his anger. He had vomited the words without thinking. Well maybe kind of desperate that Sirius actually felt the same. And he was doing this out of jealousy.

But damn. Remus regretted it the second those words came out of his mouth. Especially when he saw how Sirius went pale. He seemed so disgusted by the idea that he was in shock.

Remus also remembered that James and Peter were actually there. And they had their mouths wide open.

"Blimey" Peter even murmured.

"I... I... I don't..."

Sirius' face was turning red, purple even. God, he was so ashamed. Remus had to end this.

He faked a laugh.

"But you won't do it because you are not gay" Remus felt his cheeks were on fire and he hoped his blush wasn't evident.

"And you are only doing this because it hurts your ego that Emmeline doesn't fancy you like everybody else"

Remus cleared his throat embarrassed. James had adopted his concerned face from before. Peter was trying not to laugh. But Sirius... Sirius was still red as a tomato, eyes wide fixed on the floor.

"I am going to have a fag downstairs" Remus said as quickly as he could "May I, Mr. Black?"

Sirius didn't answer. He was still in shock, blinking to the floor. He couldn't even stand the idea of being gay and into Remus. Even as a joke.

Remus tried not to think about it and he left the dorm as quickly as he could.

"Emmeline is nice, Pads" James told Sirius, as soon as Remus closed the door "You should apologize. Moony can be friends with other people"

Sirius didn't answer. But he swallowed loudly.

James sighed and walked to his bed unaware of the whirlwind in Sirius' mind. But Peter knew. Peter knew pretty well. He patted Sirius' shoulder and winked at him.

Sirius was still out of breath.

Remus only said it as a joke or because he was angry. But damn that was close. Sirius thought he had been caught. He had been trying to hide this stupid crush on Remus. Sirius had been acknowledging recently that his heart jumped wildy when Remus was around. That he had been observing Remus' lips, freckles, nose, eyelashes (actually everything about him) more than he should. More than a friend would. Sirius' eyes moved frantically searching for Remus when he was not around. Like he missed him. And Sirius smiled when he saw Remus walk into the room seconds later. He could breathe again.

Sirius had never felt this about any girl. About anyone really. What did this mean for him? He didn't know. Sirius had been so confused lately. Sirius had been avoiding the girls he used to snog and pretending he just wanted to have fun with his friends. But in reality, all Sirius could think when he was with a girl was how different she was from Remus. And how she wasn’t Moony. He closed his eyes and sometimes he pictured he was kissing Moony. And then he felt ashamed by it. So he stopped.

Sirius had gone crazy when he saw Emmeline flirting with Remus.

My Moony... He had thought.... I want him to be mine.

Sirius had never thought that much about Remus' interests. It was a surprise when Remus came out as gay a few months ago. And even though it was true, the possibility of him having a thing with Emmeline hurt him. Not only with Emmeline. With anyone that wasn't him.

Shit. Sirius was going mad. He had never had to hide a crush or his feelings before. He was so pathetic.

But Remus didn't want to be with him. He didn't feel the same.

Remus was too amazing for the mess that Sirius was. Remus probably wanted a bloke who was sure of himself, someone who knew if he fancied blokes before girls. Someone who would risk it all to be with him. Someone like his friend Grant for example. Shit, that thought made him really sad.

Sirius was Remus' messy friend. That was all. He would never see him as nothing else.

Sirius groaned openly, feeling really embarrassed. He dropped to his bed, burying his face on his pillow. Sirius wanted to be swallowed by earth. He wanted to go back to before he fancied his best friend. Because now it had become very complicated.

"Don't be dramatic, Padfoot" James tutted "Just swallow your stupid pride, okay handsome?"

"Mur... Mray..."

"Sorry, love?"

Sirius lied on his back.

"You're right" Sirius sighed loudly "I will apologize to Moony"

James smiled proud of his friend.

"Don't forget about Emmeline" Peter said from the bathroom door.

Sirius groaned again. Now rolling his eyes.

"Emmeline tomorrow..." Sirius pouted "Moony now"

"Good boy, Padfoot"

Sirius could feel James' smirk mocking him. Sirius did his best to roll out of bed. And walk out of the room without looking at his friends.

As Sirius climbed down the stairs, he started panicking. What the hell was he supposed to say to Remus? He didn't know how to not be obvious in front of him. Sirius had been acting stupid and nervous. Had he noticed something? It would be very embarrassing if Remus figured out his feelings. Sirius didn't know how to explain them yet. Not even to himself.

Like right now, when he saw Remus sitting by the window in The Common Room, Sirius' heart did a little flip. And he blushed. Maybe this was a bad idea.

"I am sorry, Moony" Sirius sighed, walking towards him. Remus noticed him "I acted like an idiot"

Remus turned to the window again.

"You only say that because you want a cig"

Sirius smiled.

"No. I am really sorry"

Sirius took a seat next to Remus.

"And I do want a cig"

Remus tried to hide his smile as he gave Sirius the pack. Sirius felt himself blushing as he rushed Remus' hand and he thanked the poor light.

"You can be friends with Vance if you want" Sirius said with the cigarette between his lips.

"Why don't you like her?"

Because Sirius was immensely jealous.

"I like her..." Sirius murmured with a pout "Well actually you were right" he sighed "I don't want The Marauders to crumble because of girls. Look what happened with The Beatles"

Remus laughed and Sirius' stare stayed on his throat moving accordingly.

"The Beatles didn't crumble because of Yoko" he said with a smile "There were a lot of things going on as well. Fights and all"

"My point exactly"

Remus tutted and giggled.

"I feel like I am losing James because of Evans" Sirius confessed "And Peter is going to find someone too... And you with Emmeline"

"Pads, I am gay!" Remus laughed "I don't fancy her"

Then fancy me. Sirius thought.

"You won't abandon me for her, eh Moony?"

Sirius' heart started beating fast. Fuck, Sirius wished he could control it.

Remus shook his head.

"I could never abandon you, Pads"

Sirius was momentarily out of breath while Remus kept smiling at him like that.

"So..." Remus started "This isn't about you having a crush on me?"

Something happened with his cigarette but Sirius began coughing like an idiot. But luckily with this excuse he could cover his embarrassing blush.

Remus laughed. That fucking bastard. He patted Sirius' back.

"Don't worry, asshole. I am joking"

Sirius decided to compose himself and act as if Remus' words hadn't affected him. He should stop joking about that. Remus kept laughing, that wanker.

Sirius took deep breaths to recompose himself. Remus kept smoking as if nothing happened.

"Remus..."

"Mmm?"

"You promise to tell me if you fancy a boy, yeah?"

Remus took a while to answer. Sirius held his breath until Remus spoke again.

"I promise, Pads. I will tell you"

[dionysiandevotee]

QUEERS READ THIS

A leaflet distributed at pride march in NY Published anonymously by Queers

June, 1990

How can I tell you. How can I convince you, brother, sister that your life is in danger: That everyday you wake up alive, relatively happy, and a functioning human being, you are committing a rebellious act. You as an alive and functioning queer are a revolutionary. There is nothing on this planet that validates, protects or encourages your existence. It is a miracle you are standing here reading these words. You should by all rights be dead. Don't be fooled, straight people own the world and the only reason you have been spared is you're smart, lucky or a fighter. Straight people have a privilege that allows them to do whatever they please and fuck without fear. But not only do they live a life free of fear; they flaunt their freedom in my face. Their images are on my TV, in the magazine I bought, in the restaurant I want to eat in, and on the street where I live. I want there to be a moratorium on straight marriage, on babies, on public displays of affection among the opposite sex and media images that promote heterosexuality. Until I can enjoy the same freedom of movement and sexuality, as straights, their privilege must stop and it must be given over to me and my queer sisters and brothers. Straight people will not do this voluntarily and so they must be forced into it. Straights must be frightened into it. Terrorized into it. Fear is the most powerful motivation. No one will give us what we deserve. Rights are not given they are taken, by force if necessary. It is easier to fight when you know who your enemy is. Straight people are your enemy. They are your enemy when they don't acknowledge your invisibility and continue to live in and contribute to a culture that kills you. Every day one of us is taken by the enemy. Whether it's an AIDS death due to homophobic government inaction or a lesbian bashing in an all-night diner (in a supposedly lesbian neighborhood).

AN ARMY OF LOVERS CANNOT LOSE

Being queer is not about a right to privacy; it is about the freedom to be public, to just be who we are. It means everyday fighting oppression; homophobia, racism, misogyny, the bigotry of religious hypocrites and our own self-hatred. (We have been carefully taught to hate ourselves.) And now of course it means fighting a virus as well, and all those homo-haters who are using AIDS to wipe us off the face of the earth. Being queer means leading a different sort of 2 life. It's not about the mainstream, profit-margins, patriotism, patriarchy or being assimilated. It's not about executive directors, privilege and elitism. It's about being on the margins, defining ourselves; it's about gender- fuck and secrets, what's beneath the belt and deep inside the heart; it's about the night. Being queer is "grass roots" because we know that everyone of us, every body, every cunt, every heart and ass and dick is a world of pleasure waiting to be explored. Everyone of us is a world of infinite possibility. We are an army because we have to be. We are an army because we are so powerful. (We have so much to fight for; we are the most precious of endangered species.) And we are an army of lovers because it is we who know what love is. Desire and lust, too. We invented them. We come out of the closet, face the rejection of society, face firing squads, just to love each other! Every time we fuck, we win. We must fight for ourselves (no one else is going to do it) and if in that process we bring greater freedom to the world at large then great. (We've given so much to that world: democracy, all the arts, the concepts of love, philosophy and the soul, to name just a few gifts from our ancient Greek Dykes, Fags.) Let's make every space a Lesbian and Gay space. Every street a part of our sexual geography. A city of yearning and then total satisfaction. A city and a country where we can be safe and free and more. We must look at our lives and see what's best in them, see what is queer and what is straight and let that straight chaff fall away! Remember there is so, so little time. And I want to be a lover of each and every one of you. Next year, we march naked.

ANGER

"The strong sisters told the brothers that there were two important things to remember about the coming revolutions, the first is that we will get our asses kicked. The second, is that we will win." I'm angry. I'm angry for being condemned to death by strangers saying, "You deserve to die" and "AIDS is the cure." Fury erupts when a Republican woman wearing thousands of dollars of garments and jewelry minces by the police lines shaking her head, chuckling and wagging her finger at us like we are recalcitrant children making absurd demands and throwing temper tantrum when they aren't met. Angry while Joseph agonizes over $8,000 a over for AZT which might keep him alive a little longer and which makes him sicker than the disease he is diagnosed with. Angry as I listen to a man tell me that after changing his will five times he's running out of people to leave things to. All of his best friends are dead. Angry when stand in a sea of quilt panels, or go to a candlelight march or attend yet another memorial service. I will not march silently with a fucking candle and I want to take that goddamned quilt and wrap myself in it and furiously rend it and my hair and curse every god 3 religion ever created. I refuse to accept a creation that cuts people down in the third decade of their life. It is cruel and vile and meaningless and everything I have in me rails against the absurdity and I raise my face to the clouds and a ragged laugh that sounds more demonic than joyous erupts from my throat and tears stream down my face and if this disease doesn't kill me, I may just die of frustration. My feet pound the streets and Peter's hands are chained to a pharmaceutical company's reception desk while the receptionist looks on in horror and Eric's body lies rotting in a Brooklyn cemetery and I'll never hear his flute resounding off the walls of the meeting house again. And I see the old people in Tompkins Square Park huddled in their long wool coats in June to keep out the cold they perceive is there and to cling to whatever little life has left to offer them. I'm reminded of the people who strip and stand before a mirror each night before they go to bed and search their bodies for any mark that might not have been there yesterday. A mark that this scourge has visited them. And I'm angry when the newspapers call us "victims" and sound alarms that "it" might soon spread to the "general population." And I want to scream "Who the fuck am I?" And I want to scream at New York Hospital with its yellow plastic bags marked "isolation linen", "ropa infecciosa" and its orderlies in latex gloves and surgical masks skirting the bed as if its occupant will suddenly leap out and douse them with blood and semen giving them too the plague. And I'm angry at straight people who sit smugly wrapped in their self-protective coat of monogamy and heterosexuality confident that this disease has nothing to do with them because "it" only happens to "them." And the teenage boys who upon spotting my Silence=Death button begin chanting "Faggot's gonna die" and I wonder, who taught them this? Enveloped in fury and fear, I remain silent while my button mocks me every step of the way. And the anger I fell when a television program on the quilt gives profiles of the dead and the list begins with a baby, a teenage girl who got a blood transfusion, an elderly baptist minister and his wife and when they finally show a gay man, he's described as someone who knowingly infected teenage male prostitutes with the virus. What else can you expect from a faggot? I'm angry.

QUEER ARTISTS

Since time began, the world has been inspired by the work of queer artists. In exchange, there has been suffering, there has been pain, there has been violence. Throughout history, society has struck a bargain with its queer citizens: they may pursue creative careers, if they do it discreetly. Through the arts queers are productive, lucrative, entertaining and even uplifting. These are the clear-cut and useful by-products of what is otherwise considered antisocial behavior. In cultured circles, queers 4 may quietly coexist with an otherwise disapproving power elite. At the forefront of the most recent campaign to bash queer artists is Jesse Helms, arbiter of all that is decent, moral, christian and amerikan. For Helms, queer art is quite simply a threat to the world. In his imaginings, heterosexual culture is too fragile to bear up to the admission of human or sexual diversity. Quite simply, the structure of power in the Judeo-Christian world has made procreation its cornerstone. Families having children assures consumers for the nation's products and a work force to produce them, as well as a built-in family system to care for its ill, reducing the expense of public healthcare systems. ALL NON-PROCREATIVE BEHAVIOR IS CONSIDERED A THREAT, from homosexuality to birth control to abortion as an option. It is not enough, according to the religious right, to consistently advertise procreation and heterosexuality ... it is also necessary to destroy any alternatives. It is not art Helms is after .... IT IS OUR LIVES! Art is the last safe place for lesbians and gay men to thrive. Helms knows this, and has developed a program to purge queers from the one arena they have been permitted to contribute to our shared culture. Helms is advocating a world free from diversity or dissent. It is easy to imagine why that might feel more comfortable to those in charge of such a world. It is also easy to envision an amerikan landscape flattened by such power. Helms should just ask for what he is hinting at: State sponsored art, art of totalitarianism, art that speaks only in christian terms, art which supports the goals of those in power, art that matches the sofas in the Oval Office. Ask for what you want, Jesse, so that men and women of conscience can mobilize against it, as we do against the human rights violations of other countries, and fight to free our own country's dissidents.

IF YOU'RE QUEER,

Queers are under siege. Queers are being attacked on all fronts and I'm afraid it's ok with us. In 1969, there were 50 "Queer Bashings" in the month of May alone. Violent attacks, 3,720 men, women and children died of AIDS in the same month, caused by a more violent attack --- government inaction, rooted in society's growing homophobia. This is institutionalized violence, perhaps more dangerous to the existence of queers because the attackers are faceless. We allow these attacks by our own continued lack of action against them. AIDS has affected the straight world and now they're blaming us for AIDS and using it as a way to justify their violence against us. They don't want us anymore. They will beat us, rape us and kill us before they will continue to live with us. What 5 will it take for this not to be ok? Feel some rage. If rage doesn't empower you, try fear. If that doesn't work, try panic.

SHOUT IT!

Be proud. Do whatever you need to do to tear yourself away from your customary state of acceptance. Be free. Shout. In 1969, Queers fought back. In 1990, Queers say ok. Next year, will we be here?

I HATE ...

I hate Jesse Helms. I hate Jesse Helms so much I'd rejoice if he dropped down dead. If someone killed him I'd consider it his own fault. I hate Ronald Reagan, too, because he mass-murdered my people for eight years. But to be honest, I hate him even more for eulogizing Ryan White without first admitting his guilt, without begging forgiveness for Ryan's death and for the deaths of tens of thousands of other PWA's --- most of them queer. I hate him for making a mockery of our grief. I hate the fucking Pope, and I hate John fucking Cardinal fucking O'Connor, and I hate the whole fucking Catholic Church. The same goes for the Military, and especially for Amerika's Law Enforcement Officials --- the cops --- state sanctioned sadists who brutalize street transvestites, prostitutes and queer prisoners. I also hate the medical and mental health establishments, particularly the psychiatrist who conviced me not to have sex with men for three years until we (meaning he) could make me bisexual rather than queer. I also hate the education profession, for its share in driving thousands of queer teens to suicide every year. I hate the "respectable" art world; and the entertainment industry, and the mainstream media, especially The New York Times. In fact, I hate every sector of the straight establishment in this country --- the worst of whom actively want all queers dead, the best of whom never stick their necks out to keep us alive. I hate straight people who think they have anything intelligent to say about "outing." I hate straight people who think stories about themselves are "universal" but stories about us are only about homosexuality. I hate straight recording artists who make their careers off of queer people, then attack us, then act hurt when we get angry and then deny having wronged us rather than apologize for it. I hate straight people who say, "I don't see why you feel the need to wear those buttons and t-shirts. I don't go around telling the whole world I'm straight." I hate that in twelve years of public education I was never taught about queer people. I hate that I grew up thinking I was the only queer in the world, and I hate even more that most queer kids still grow up the same way. I 6 hate that I was tormented by other kids for being a faggot, but more that I was taught to feel ashamed for being the object of their cruelty, taught to feel it was my fault. I hate that the Supreme Court of this country says it's okay to criminalize me because of how I make love. I hate that so many straight people are so concerned about my goddamned sex life. I hate that so many twisted straight people become parents, while I have to fight like hell to be allowed to be a father. I hate straights.

WHERE ARE YOU SISTERS?

I wear my pink triangle everywhere. I do not lower my voice in public when talking about lesbian love or sex. I always tell people I'm a lesbian. I don't wait to be asked about my "boyfriend." I don't say it's "no one's business." I don't do this for straight people. Most of them don't know what the pink triangle even means. Most of them couldn't care less that my girlfriend and I are totally in love or having a fight on the street. Most of them don't notice us no matter what we do. I do what I do to reach other lesbians. I do what I do because I don't want lesbians to assume I'm a straight girl. I am out all the time, everywhere, because I WANT TO REACH YOU. Maybe you'll notice me, maybe we'll start talking, maybe we'll exchange numbers, maybe we'll become friends. Maybe we won't say a word but our eyes will meet and I will imagine you naked, sweating, openmouthed, your back arched as I am fucking you. And we'll be happy to know we aren't the only ones in the world. We'll be happy because we found each other, without saying a word, maybe just for a moment. But no. You won't wear a pink triangle on that linen lapel. You won't meet my eyes if I flirt with you on the street. You avoid me on the job because I'm "too" out. You chastise me in bars because I'm "too political." You ignore me in public because I bring "too much" attention to "my" lesbianism. But then you want me to be your lover, you want me to be your friend, you want me to love you, support, you, fight for "OUR" right to exist.

WHERE ARE YOU?

You talk, talk, talk about invisibility and then retreat to your homes to nest with your lovers or carouse in a bar with pals and stumble home in a cab or sit silently and politely by while your family, your boss, your neighbors, your public servants distort and disfigure us, deride us and punish us. Then home again and you feel like screaming. Then you pad your anger with a relationship or a career or a party with other dykes like you and still you wonder why we can't find each other, why you feel lonely, angry, alienated.

GET UP, WAKE UP SISTERS!!

7 Your life is in your hands. When I risk it all to be out, I risk it for both of us. When I risk it all and it works (which it often does if you would try it), I benefit and so do you. When it doesn't work, I suffer and you do not. But girl you can't wait for other dykes to make the world safe for you. STOP waiting for a better more lesbian future! The revolution could be here if we started it. Where are you sisters? I'm trying to find you, I'm trying to find you. How come I only see you on Gay Pride Day? We're OUT, Where the fuck are YOU? 8

WHEN ANYONE ASSAULTS YOU FOR BEING QUEER, IT IS QUEER BASHING. RIGHT?

A crowd of 50 people exit a gay bar as it closes. Across the street, some straight boys are shouting "Faggots" and throwing beer bottles at the gathering, which outnumbers them by 10 to 1. Three queers make a move to respond, getting no support from the group. Why did a group this size allow themselves to be sitting ducks? Tompkins Square Park, Labor Day. At an annual outdoor concert/drag show, a group of gay men were harassed by teens carrying sticks. In the midst of thousands of gay men and lesbians, these straight boys beat two gay men to the ground, then stood around triumphantly laughing amongst themselves. The emcee was alerted and warned the crowd from the stage, "You girls be careful. When you dress up it drives the boys crazy," as if it were a practical joke inspired by what the victims were wearing rather than a pointed attack on anyone and everyone at that event. What would it have taken for that crowd to stand up to its attackers? After James Zappalorti, an openly gay man, was murdered in cold blood on Staten Island this winter, a single demonstration was held in protest. Only one hundred people came. When Yuseuf Hawkins, a black youth, was shot to death for being on "white turf" in Bensonhurst, African Americans marched through that neighborhood in large numbers again and again. A black person was killed BECAUSE HE WAS BLACK, and people of color throughout the city recognized it and acted on it. The bullet that hit Hawkins was meant for a black man, ANY black man. Do most gays and lesbians think that the knife that punctured Zappalorti's heart was meant only for him? The straight world has us so convinced that we are helpless and deserving victims of the violence against us, that queers are immobilized when faced with a threat. BE OUTRAGED! These attacks must not be tolerated. DO SOMETHING. Recognize that any act of aggression against any member of our community is an attack on every member of the community. The more we allow homophobes to inflict violence, terror and fear on our lives, the more frequently and ferociously we will be the object of their hatred. Your immeasurably valuable, because unless you start believing that, it can easily be taken from you. If you know how to gently and efficiently immobilize your attacker, then by all means, do it. If you lack those skills, then think about gouging out his fucking eyes, slamming his nose back into his brain, slashing his throat with a broken bottle --- do whatever you can, whatever you have to, to save your life! 9

reeuQ yhW

Queer!

Ah, do we really have to use that word? It's trouble. Every gay person has his or her own take on it. For some it means strange and eccentric and kind of mysterious. That's okay, we like that. But some gay girls and boys don't. They think they're more normal than strange. And for others "queer" conjures up those awful memories of adolescent suffering. Queer. It's forcibly bittersweet and quaint at best --- weakening and painful at worst. Couldn't we just use "gay" instead? It's a much brighter word and isn't it synonymous with "happy?" When will you militants grow up and get over the novelty of being different?

WHY QUEER

Well, yes, "gay " is great. It has its place. But when a lot of lesbians and gay men wake up in the morning we feel angry and disgusted, not gay. So we've chosen to call ourselves queer. Using "queer" is a way of reminding us how we are perceived by the rest of the world. It's a way of telling ourselves we don't have to be witty and charming people who keep our lives discreet and marginalized in the straight world. We use queer as gay men loving lesbians and lesbians loving being queer. Queer, unlike GAY, doesn't mean MALE. And when spoken to other gays and lesbians it's a way of suggesting we close ranks, and forget (temporarily) our individual differences because we face a more insidious common enemy. Yeah, QUEER can be a rough word but it is also a sly and ironic weapon we can steal from the homophobe's hands and use against him.

NO SEX POLICE

For anyone to say that coming out is not part of the revolution is missing the point. Positive sexual images and what they manifest saves lives because they affirm those lives and make it possible for people to attempt to live as self-loving instead of self-loathing. As the famous "Black is beautiful" slogan changed many lives, so does "Read my lips" affirm queerness in the face of hatred and invisibility as displayed in a recent governmental study of suicides that states at least one third of all teen suicides are Queer kids. This is further exemplified by the rise in HIV transmission among those under 21. We are most hated as queers for our sexualness, that is, our physical contact with the same sex. Our sexuality and sexual expression are what makes us most susceptible to physical violence. Our difference, our otherness, our uniqueness can either paralyze us or politicize us. Hopefully, the majority of us will not let it kill us. 10

QUEER SPACE

Why in the world do we let heteros into queer clubs? Who gives a fuck if they like us because we "really know how to party?" WE HAVE TO IN ORDER TO BLOW OFF THE STEAM THEY MAKE US FEEL ALL THE TIME! They make out wherever they please, and take up too much room on the dance floor doing ostentatious couples dances. They wear their heterosexuality like a "Keep Out" sign, or like a deed of ownership. Why the fuck do we tolerate them when they invade our space like it's their right? Why do we let them shove heterosexuality --- a weapon their world wields against us - -- right in our faces in the few public spots where we can be sexy with each other and not fear attack? It's time to stop letting the straight people make all the rules. Let's start by posting this sign outside every queer club and bar:

RULES OF CONDUCT FOR STRAIGHT PEOPLE

1. Keep your display of affection (kissing, handholding, embracing) to a minimum. Your sexuality is unwanted and offensive to many here. 2. If you must slow dance, be as inconspicuous as possible. 3. Do not gawk or stare at lesbians or gay men, especially bull dykes or drag queens. We are not your entertainment. 4. If you cannot comfortably deal with someone of the same sex making a pass at you, get out. 5. Do not flaunt your heterosexuality. Be Discreet. Risk being mistaken for a lezzie or a homo. 6. If you feel these rules are unfair, go fight homophobia in straight clubs, or: 7. Go Fuck Yourself.

I HATE STRAIGHTS

I have friends. Some of them are straight. Year after year, I see my straight friends. I want to see them, to see how they are doing, to add newness to our long and complicated histories, to experience some continuity. Year after year I continue to realize that the facts of my life are irrelevant to them and that I am only half listened to, that I am an appendage to the doings of a greater world, a world of power and privilege, of the laws of installation, a world of exclusion. "That's not true," argue my straight friends. There is the one certainty in the politics of power: those left out of it beg for inclusion, while the insiders claim that they already are. Men do it to women, whites do it to blacks, and everyone does it to queers. The main dividing line, both conscious and unconscious, is procreation ... and that magic word --- Family. Frequently, the ones we are born into disown us when they find out who we really are, and to make matters worse, we are prevented from having our own. We are punished, insulted, cut off, and treated like seditionaries 11 in terms of child rearing, both damned if we try and damned if we abstain. It's as if the propagation of the species is such a fragile directive that without enforcing it as if it were an agenda, humankind would melt back into the primeval ooze. I hate having to convice straight people that lesbians and gays live in a war zone, that we're surrounded by bomb blasts only we seem to hear, that our bodies and souls are heaped high, dead from fright or bashed or raped, dying of grief or disease, stripped of our personhood. I hate straight people who can't listen to queer anger without saying "hey, all straight people aren't like that. I'm straight too, you know," as if their egos don't get enough stroking or protection in this arrogant, heterosexist world. Why must we take care of them, in the midst of our just anger brought on by their fucked up society?! Why add the reassurance of "Of course, I don't mean you. You don't act that way." Let them figure out for themselves whether they deserve to be included in our anger. But of course that would mean listening to our anger, which they almost never do. They deflect it, by saying "I'm not like that" or "Now look who's generalizing" or "You'll catch more flies with honey ... " or "If you focus on the negative you just give out more power" or "you're not the only one in the world who's suffering." They say "Don't yell at me, I'm on your side" or "I think you're overreacting" or "BOY, YOU'RE BITTER." They've taught us that good queers don't get mad. They've taught us so well that we not only hide our anger from them, we hide it from each other.

WE EVEN HIDE IT FROM OURSELVES.

We hide it with substance abuse and suicide and overarhcieving in the hope of proving our worth. They bash us and stab us and shoot us and bomb us in ever increasing numbers and still we freak out when angry queers carry banners or signs that say BASH BACK. For the last decade they let us die in droves and still we thank President Bush for planting a fucking tree, applaud him for likening PWAs to car accident victims who refuse to wear seatbelts. LET YOURSELF BE ANGRY. Let yourself be angry that the price of our visibility is the constant threat of violence, anti- queer violence to which practically every segment of this society contributes. Let yourself feel angry that THERE IS NO PLACE IN THIS COUNTRY WHERE WE ARE SAFE, no place where we are not targeted for hatred and attack, the self-hatred, the suicide --- of the closet. The next time some straight person comes down on you for being angry, tell them that until things change, you don't need any more evidence that the world turns at your expense. You don't need to see only hetero couple grocery shopping on your TV ... You don't want any more baby pictures shoved in your face until you can have or keep your own. No more weddings, showers, anniversaries, please, unless they are our own brothers and sisters celebrating. And tell them not to dismiss you by saying "You have rights," "You have privileges," "You're 12 overreacting," or "You have a victim's mentality." Tell them "GO AWAY FROM ME, until YOU can change." Go away and try on a world without the brave, strong queers that are its backbone, that are its guts and brains and souls. Go tell them go away until they have spent a month walking hand in hand in public with someone of the same sex. After they survive that, then you'll hear what they have to say about queer anger. Otherwise, tell them to shut up and listen.

[makorays]

How can you tell the difference between a good faith and a bad question or behavior? because I got aspergers and I can’t the bloody difference beside they literally insulting you

it can be hard to tell, especially since most people who do bad faith arguments probably don't even realize they're doing it. they're stuck in the "i'm right" mindset, and their confused brains will invent any possible excuse to say you're wrong. so they create a fictional version of you in their heads and pretend that you meant a completely different thing than what you actually said.

for example, if you say: "i think kids should know that it's okay to be gay or trans"

and your opponent says: "oh, so you want to brainwash our youth into committing suicide?"

it's because they're too stupid and cowardly to face the real you without having their entire belief system blown the fuck out by your correctness, so all they can do is slap at an imaginary version of you that's far easier to see as the villain in order to feel like they're winning. it's literally the adult version of when little kids draw their teachers as being ugly and stinky.

a good faith engagement is when the person actually fucking listens to what you're saying and responds to your points instead of twisting them

[aberfaeth]

top five fics (ever. for a fandom/pairing. by people you know. by strangers. whatever u want go crazy) ORRRR top five fob songs bc I know u and ilu and I wanna hear ur thoughts

hi sav. hope you know what you've unleashed here.

TOP FIVE FICS.....EVER

tell me about the big bang (star wars sequel trilogy, Finn/Poe, 37.8k.) i made my mom read this fic and that's not a bit i literally had her read this. and she isn't even a star wars fan. like she's seen tfa but she wasn't even that into it i just made her read this because it's one of humanity's greatest literary achievements and she still brings it up to me in conversation that's how much she enjoyed it. sorry this turned into more of tmatbb being one of my mom's top five fics but yknow. context. anyways i don't want to say too much about it because i don't want to spoil it for anyone who might check it out which Please Do That but suffice to say. it is a work of fucking art and i can only hope to someday write with half the talent nina varela possesses in her pinky finger

darling i'd wait for you, even if you didn't ask me to (the great pretender season 1, Laurent/Makoto, 11k.) swear to god this isn't me sucking up it is still the best gift i have ever received in my life. hey you reading this have you ever conceptualized a fic and went "boy i wish i could feed this into a machine and it would execute the idea perfectly in a way that managed to surprise and delight me as i read it" well you simply must get yourself a sav. because she will do that for you. anyways watch tgp season one literally just to read this fic.

Be Gay; Solve Crime (american vandal, Peter/Sam, 9.2k.) this fic has everything--outsider POV! perfectly in character banter! angie and michael who are real and canon to me! mr fernandez did you eat shit! gay lou carter! do your string thing man! MING, EVEN!!!!!! consider this a rotating spot for the work of my lovely lovely friends in the hanover high AV club, who have churned out some of the bangers of all fucking time which i talked about some of those in a top five ask four calendar years ago

Over & Through (dimension 20 fantasy high, gen, 62.7k.) also made my mom read this. she got the riz chapter first and said it gave her horrifying acid trip dreams. which is honestly so fair. if you are a dimension 20 fan and you haven't read this fic what are you doing. the form is inventive the prose is stunning the characterization is painfully sharp. if you've been watching neverafter going hey i wish this was actually horror READ THIS RIGHT NOW THE HORROR IS IMMACULATE

If You Could Let Me Inside Your Heart (leverage, ot3, 2.5k.) remains my favorite leverage fic of all time and also my favorite group character study. what a lovely premise and executed with such grace and perfect understanding of character and pacing like so much work is done for its length and GOD IS IT ALL GORGEOUS

okay haha onto the fall out boy--JUST KIDDING. I HOPE YOU HAD YOUR WEAPON READY TO TAKE ME OUT BECAUSE ONE TIME I SAID IF I EVER MADE A RECLIST WITHOUT I HATE TO LOOK INTO THOSE EYES AND SEE AN OUNCE OF PAIN YOU WOULD HAVE TO SHOOT ME BECAUSE I'D BE A POD PERSON. SO HERE'S ME DOING THAT, PLEASE READ IT, READ IT NOW. WHAT FANDOM OR PAIRING OR LENGTH? YOU GET TO FIND OUT WHEN YOU CLICK! THAT! LINK!

okay haha onto the fall out boy. so i earnestly did try to come up with my top five fob songs on my own. then i had a breakdown and filled out the whole damn fob song sorter yes all 500 battles. heres my top 25. note the repetition of numbers indicating my inability to make decisions

elaborations on the medal winners:

THE KIDS AREN'T ALRIGHT: when this song came out i was thirteen years old (in middle school) (did not have my own itunes account) (did not have spotify) and as all songs do it was released at midnight (i was thirteen) (supposed to be asleep) (it was a school night) i hid under the covers with my ipod touch on the lowest brightness setting (supposed to be asleep on a school night) midnight arrived and i could not buy the song on itunes because then my parents would get an email about the purchase and know i had stayed up (i was supposed to be asleep) so i just listened to the 30 second preview on itunes for like an hour straight (i cried) (a lot)

THE (SHIPPED) GOLD STANDARD: me for real bc im literally no good at math

(COFFEE'S FOR CLOSERS): also in middle school i used to doodle song lyrics to keep myself focused during class and my history professor was taking a walk around the classroom and spotted my doodle of a little coffee cup with the lyrics "i will never believe in anything again" and went "aw why not," clearly concerned for my mental health and wellbeing. and despite that horribly traumatizing experience, coffee's for closers remains one of my favorite songs in the world. so thats proof that its really very good

OF ALL THE GIN JOINTS IN THE WORLD: you only hold me up like thiiiiis cause you don't know who i really aAAaaAAAaam

PAVLOVE: sorry its the quirky girl tendencies again. when will they put this on spotify so i can scream my little heart out to I WANT TO MAKE YOU AS LONELY AS MEEEE SO YOU CAN GET GET ADDICTED TO THIS YOU CAN GET GET ADDICTED TO THIS! anyways folie >

now, a disclaimer: this sorter is obviously older than two weeks and thus does not include the songs off SMFS. i feel like recency bias means i can't accurately fit them into the list but i will say that there is no universe in which hold me like a grudge doesn't make top fifteen

if you've reached the end of this post, thanks for going on this journey with me. i meant to be asleep an hour ago. but i did this instead. was it worth it. well whos to say. if you ended up reading IHTLITEASAOOP then yes it was.

[lockedtombbrainworms]

Oh no a big long politics post that's only tangentially related to what I'm here to post about!

The realisation that there are actually terfs in the locked tomb fandom, who know the books well enough to have actually engaged in some level of analysis of them as texts, is fucking terrifying to me. I should've realised they'd be here, they're everywhere now, but like, it really sucks. Lemme explain... Ten years ago, when I was a recently-out trans woman, I was a lot less afraid of terfs in fandom spaces because they were just another kind of weird internet bigot, like the homophobes and the misogynist nerd bros. They could be a threat, sure, but they were the sort of threat you had a much better chance of avoiding. Now their movement has gained the sort of political traction where they're actually impacting policy and having a tangible negative effect on trans people offline and in the wider online world, the idea of having them in a social space with me fills me with actual fucking dread. I'm no stranger to fighting these fuckers, I've counter-protested them with my friends and my comrades, met them in the street when they came to my town and said "not here or anywhere, not now or ever". I'm not coming from the perspective of someone who thinks terfs are these incomprehensible eldritch horrors that will rend me asunder without me being able to do anything about it. I'm just pissed off because I don't like having to watch out for terfs in my fucking downtime when I'm on tumblr reading about my fucking blorbos and their gay little adventures with swords and necromancy.

Drive that shit out. Stand together and don't let your friends slide down the rabbit hole. The terf ideology is melding with the far right and it's not just trans people they've got their sights on. They're after all of us, and they try to pick people off and radicalise them against the rest of us, because if we're divided we don't stand together against them and they can run right over us.

I've been seeing this shit for ten years and it isn't always the cartoonishly obvious fuckery like "hey, the trans movement is making my daughter think she's a boy, how disgusting".

It starts with trying to demonise queers for anything - for the way we dress, the way we act, the way we talk, the way we fuck, the way we love. It works its way in through feminism, by saying "how dare these gay men make a mockery of womanhood through drag and then expose our children to such misogyny", or "how can you support women selling their bodies in the sex industry by suggesting sex workers should organise and work together to keep themselves safe".

They try coming in through leftist ideology like "how dare these transsexuals complain about being misgendered at work or raise money for something as bourgeois as cosmetic surgery when there are real working-class people who can't even pay their rent". They try and launder their ideas through appeals to reactionary tendency like "aren't polyamorous people just a bit... weird? Look at all these horror stories you hear of people turning a polycule into a miniature cult, surely that can't be good!". They appeal to your inner prude, "kink is weird and violent and how can people consent to that? Hey, don't you think these queers might be a bit dangerous? Look what they get off to!".

All that shit is leading you astray. Stop caring so much what other people do. Stop inventing convoluted justifications for pouncing on your fellow queers by playing 5D chess to come up with a way to explain that actually, a man dyeing his hair pink is doing misogynist violence and therefore you have to write 10,000 words online about him. Get out there. Find the people near you who are making the world a better place, who are running food banks and soup kitchens and homeless shelters and clothes exchanges and support groups and whatever else is out there and GET INVOLVED. If you can't physically go out there, see what logistical support those organisations need that you can do from home. Fuck, knit hats to keep people warm. Just do something.

It'll feel weird. You'll see some shit that'll absolutely smash your beliefs about how everyone outside of your little bubble is evil. Some 75 year old boomer will say the most radical shit you've ever heard about solidarity between oppressed people. The crustiest middle-aged cishet punk dude you'll ever meet will go on a drunken rant about how cool his trans friends are and how he wishes he could help them more. You'll think you're a lesbian and then suddenly you'll kiss this dude you met at a punk show that your buddies from the food bank took you to, because you liked the look in his eyes when the band played a song about queer joy and resistance and tearing down borders. Weird shit will happen to you and it'll be great.

This was about the locked tomb fandom at first I promise. It's turned into the post I always end up making on every social media platform I end up on, which is "I'm getting too Online because of this platform and I'm not gonna be around as much, you should try that maybe"

[voidsumbrella]

imo hbomberguy's original video was an excellent rundown of the broader plagiarism issue, but todd in the shadows' fact check vid is really the reason im pissed at this specific guy, and gives me a bit less sympathy for people who fell for his shit tbh.

like missing the plagiarism and less like... relevant misinformation is one thing- im actually pretty sure i saw a post about the disney gay day thing go around a while back and went "huh neat" and moved on without checking, because why would i check that sort of thing, i don't care about the history of disney. and while we can collectively raise our eyebrows at people not picking up on the celluloid closet-tier theft, if you don't have any interest in more in-depth queer theory or history i does kinda track that you wouldn't know these books exist. i watch random essays as mildly informative background noise all the time; i'm not going to be able to cite any of the organic chemistry sources referenced, no matter how common knowledge it is in-field.

but holy SHIT so much of the facts he very confidently stated were such blatantly biased horseshit that they really should have pinged more radars than they did. i cannot fucking imagine listening to someone tell me that american soldiers primarily enlisted in wwii because the nazis were just so sexy and not thinking something was up there. claiming that subtlety in western movies wasn't invented until the 1960s while gushing over the homosexual subtext in disney cartoons is insulting to your audience's knowledge of their own pop culture, and also their grasp on linear time. if you thought his dig at western theater being entirely tell-don't-show held any water i have to assume you flunked english from 8th grade on, and have never seen a production in your life.

i have not watched his videos, and im not planning to, but frankly there is no amount of contextual padding that will make his commentary on asian media and culture in general less xenophobic and/or infantilizing. the kabuki/noh mixup and disregard for even reading the wikipedia article before discussing how their narratives work aside, the whole thing about the big scary chinese government padding their action movie box office numbers as propaganda exclusively designed to intimidate western audiences is 1) stupid as hell, and 2) yet another offshoot of the right-of-center sinophobia that's been circulating for the last couple five years and i really don't know why people are so willing to defend themselves by saying it isn't their fault that they uncritically swallowed his racist bullshit or accepted it as confirmation of their own biases.

i think that's actually what bothers me the most here. his entire platform was built on stealing other people's ideas and reframing them to tell his audience what they wanted to hear. and i get it! everyone wants to think they're smart and cool and know the real history behind everything, everyone wants to hear that they can continue to like the stuff they like that other people are pushing back against- attack on titan isn't really facist, disney has always been progressive, china's just as awful as you think it is- it's really easy to get suckered into that!! it sucks to hear someone you trusted is a liar, and it's embarrassing to get called out for believing something false, but some of this stuff crumbles so quickly under any measure of critical thinking that defending taking it as gospel is more of a self-own than anything else.

hopefully the current teardown has reminded everyone that people on the internet are frequently full of shit and passed out a few more tips on how to be smarter going forwards.

[batsarebetterthanpeople]

ok I was tagged by @ourflagmeansgayrights in another ask game so here goes ig.

Fave Ed gif

ok I've got three and CJ is in two of them, which is on brand for me. First is my fav of all time but I litterally can't find a good gif of it despite it being the most gifable moment in the show to me. It's when Jack says "Whose the big gal" and then he does the gay little jump. This is literally my first time ever making a gif so forgive me for the quality

second of all this one because Ed Teach invented the pog face in 1717

He's literally making that face it's so funny to me.

finally, stab me you will always be famous

Fave Stede Gif

ALRIGHT APPERANTLY I HAVE TO MAKE IT MYSELF AGAIN!!!!

anyway. Tumblr need a better method for finding gifs.

Fave Stede Outfit

Unfortunately I've gotta stick with the classics here.

Fave Ed Outfit

Now. I know this is a contravercial one but also he's so gender as the Kraken. I love black leather and big eyeshadow and I love you dysphoria beard.

Fav Blackbonnet song.

Listen I know this one objectively doesn't make a ton of sense but hear me out. Oh Well Oh Well by Mayday Parade

I made a little video to allow you to enter my mind palace about it. You can reblog it here without the whole fucking ask game attached if you feel so inclined

we'll see how season 2 goes I might make the rest of this video.

Fav OFMD fic trope

I love it when Jack Stede and Izzy are Ed's harem and they're all fighting. Bite each other's dicks off! I want the whole douchebag brigade pointing guns at each other but like the guns are made of sexual tension and loaded with snide remarks. FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!

Ed's hair or Stede's Hair

If the question is Ed or Stede It's always gonna be Ed 100% of the time.

Longest I've Gone between rewatches

Uh It's been a month now I think that's probably a record of some kind.

hiding in the ship lucius vs ghost lucius

Hiding in the walls is just objectively the correct answer it's not even about preference

Fav Crew Member

Now this is hard because Frenchie is the right answer and I enjoy being right but I'm a whore above all else so Lucius.

I'll tag @thetardigrape @chuplayswithfire @glamaphonic and @leatherdaddyteach if you don't want to do it that's cool I hate tagging people like this lmao.

[azems-familiar]

I am This Close to watching the untamed

So if you want to perhaps yell about it or something (since you’ve gotten me into stuff that way before) that could be cool idk

OH MY GOD PLEASE WATCH IT

okay to start with. the live action show is very good and a great place to start but it has some important differences from the novel and the donghua (animated show). i personally prefer a combination of cql (the untamed/the live action, that's the acronym i'll be using for it from now on) and the donghua; the novel suffers a lot of lost in translation effect and whatnot and i personally dislike the way the relationship is built in several places in it as opposed to how the adaptations do it, but it's definitely still worth reading. (dm me on discord if you want a copy of a pretty good fan translation of the novel and also like, a link to a place you can watch the donghua, btw.) other problems with cql: censorship hits the live action the hardest and their budget was i'm pretty sure basically nonexistent (they very clearly spent most of it on the costumes and the props, which you know what, the costumes are fucking stunning so great choice). so they changed the worldbuilding some and like.... the fight scenes? are really not good. they're really not good. also the special effects are universally pretty bad. it can make watching some parts of it difficult to get through, and there are some plot elements that are changed as well that i dislike, and a lot of the moral greyness of the original story had to get removed because again, censorship issues (if you want the most accurate, non-morally-whitewashed take first, you'll want to start with the novel, which is also what has the explicitly gay stuff). it's also not explicitly gay - but the actors played it as gay and there are multiple marriage metaphors and holy fuck like. honestly. there doesn't need to be a kiss or a confession or anything it's REALLY FUCKING GAY.

what cql excels in is its character interactions. the acting is absolutely stunning, the soundtrack is beautiful, and every single scene is just done with so much heart and emotion in it. so definitely keep that in mind going into it. i've watched it all the way through i think 3 or 4 times and i still keep seeing new fun details in the background that i hadn't noticed before.

the donghua, on the other hand, has an absolutely stunning art style, very very good voice acting, the worldbuilding and plot are more accurate to the book, and the magic and combat scenes are much more realistic for a fantasy and the powers they have. however, it, especially specifically the third and final season, is very rushed (and it has its own plot changes to fit how much they had to condense things, mostly just in the second half of season 3) and excludes some details, so it can be confusing if you don't know what you're seeing first. i recommend either watching cql or reading the novel first, then watching the donghua!

in terms of like, actual fandom stuff! so the main character of mdzs is, obviously, Wei Wuxian. i'm not sure how much you know but he's like. an incredibly ADHD man with horrible self-worth issues (despite being arrogant as hell) and a very strong sense of justice who is extremely brilliant and goes through a shitton of tragedy. he is known for inventing a viable form of necromancy, which is considered incredibly heretical and, among other things, gets him killed, and then gets him resurrected, so you know. pros and cons. he does magic by playing the flute. he is a disaster bisexual and also a bit of an alcoholic (okay a lot of an alcoholic) and i love him. his love interest is stoic and serious and incredibly autistic-coded and has been in love with him since they were teenagers and literally wrote him a love song. the two of them get trapped in a cave together and have to kill an ancient corrupted divine monster without weapons. it's very romantic. wei wuxian as a younger teenager is basically the epitome of a child pulling a girl's pigtails because he has a crush and is desperate for attention.

anyway, i'm not sure how much you know about the plot, but there's two timelines going on - the present and the past. the present is after wei wuxian is resurrected, and he and lan wangji (the love interest, in case you haven't picked up on the names yet - everyone has like two or three names and it can be hard to tell them apart at first) are basically going on a fun little murder mystery quest while also babysitting a bunch of teenagers which then abruptly devolves into politics, murder, more politics, and more murder. the past on the other hand goes from a high school definitely-not-a-romance to a goddamn war drama to politics and back to. hm. not exactly a war drama anymore but i'm really not sure how to describe everything that happens after a certain event. it's all very much a tragedy and the real "villain" of the story (which is less obvious in cql, again because of moral whitewashing due to censorship, though honestly i feel like they did a pretty good job of staying as true to the source material as they could all things considered, a whole lot of the scenes were word for word from the novel just slightly edited to fit the adjusted worldbuilding or plot changes) is the mob mentality, rumors and gossip and hearsay, and society itself!

lastly, because i am trying not to overwhelm you here, i am going to link you a couple great amvs i've found on youtube that will probably not make a lot of sense without context but will at least hopefully intrigue you?

and

and

the other one i really want to link i cannot because it definitely will make absolutely no sense without having watched the show and so you have to come talk to me when you've finished it so i can give it to you. also hey please feel free to come dm me on discord i Will ramble at length about this. especially about wwx he is my BLORBO and currently taking up residence in my brain. and also i need your live reactions if/when you start watching things oh my god

be glad it's almost 2 am and i'm still recovering from my covid booster or this would be even longer