#and it's definitely disappointing but what speaks the loudest is to simply get back to it and be better. and i beleaf <3

[dorianepin]

i'm already over it re: oscar because this is one of his biggest tests of resilience and character building of his career and it'll be important to see how he bounces back and puts his head down for imola... oscar Please prove that you really do have the strong mentality mweb gasses you up for every single day lol. also why do i have stars dying in game 7 scheduled in an hour i can't take 2 high-adrenaline events in one day

[realcube]

CELEBRATING YOUR BIRTHDAY 

characters ♡ bokuto, tendō, matsukawa & suna

tw ♡ gn! reader, timeskip! bokuto (all sfw tho), swearing, reader wears makeup (matsukawa), swearing, mentions of death & food 

cred ♡ thanks to anon for this request <3

KŌTARŌ BOKUTO

♡ he was literally counting down the days to your birthday, he even took the day off practise to celebrate it with you so imagine his surprise when the special day finally rolls around and he wakes up to an empty bed

♡ at first, he thought that perhaps you were just around the house somewhere but nope, the place was completely empty and even worse, all signs pointed to his theory that you had gone to work/school on your birthday 

♡ outraged. he was absolutely outraged. 

♡ firstly, he tried calling you but you wouldn’t pick up, even after his many attempts so his next resort to call your place of work/school reception 

♡ obviously he managed to get a hold of you then-

♡ he was originally gonna yell about how you lied to him about taking the day off on your birthday but there was no way he could be angry at you — almost ever — so instead, he made the quick decision of telling you to have a nice day before hanging up 

♡ you were kinda pissed that he wasted your time like that but how could you stay mad at him? he’s fkn adorable! he blew you audible kisses over the phone for good luck!

♡ you laboured your way through the day, putting in great effort yet through it all, the only thing on your mind was how much you wanted to just pass out on the couch with bokuto as soon as you got home. you weren’t even sure if you had the energy to change into your pjyamas.

♡ however, when you finally did arrive home, there was no need to put yourself through the onerous task of changing clothes as the first thing you were greeted by when you stepped foot in your own home was a chorus of cheers of ‘surprise!’ followed by people spilling out into the foyer from the kitchen and living room 

♡ then there was bokuto, the loudest of them all leading the crowd, blowing into the party horn while dashing up to, throwing his arms around your shoulders to pull you into a tight hug, ‘happy birthday, sweetie!’

♡ a light gasp escaped your lips at the sudden hoots, and the unfamiliar — and frankly uncomfortable — sight of many friends swarm towards you had you on edge but when you felt bokuto wrap you in his warm embrace, you knew you were home

♡ he held you close until you were forced apart by many guests tearing you away to personally wish you a happy birthday

♡ now that the initial shock had died down, you noticed that there wasn’t as many people present as you thought, it was a humble gathering of all your closest friends 

♡ there was a massive pile of bright-colored gifts lying on the stairs, and it was hard not to immediately acknowledge them as the sheer mass and number of the presents scattered across the steps prevented anyone from being able to go upstairs

♡ the following day, you were made aware of the fact 90% of those presents were addressed from ‘your best ace husband ;)’ which was pretty straight-forward considering you only have one husband; kiyoomi sakusa. 

♡ jokes, you married bokuto but sakusa was also at the party. he originally just wanted to drop off his gift then leave but bokuto persuaded him to stay, though he seemed to be regretting it now as almost everyone at the party now shared an unspoken goal to slam sakusa’s face into one of the cupcakes that decorated the circumference of your cake

♡ speaking of the cake, bokuto remembered what type of cake was your favorite from the wedding planning and he was so chuffed with himself. in fact, he was so confident in his cake picking ability that he ordered a massive 3-tier monster of a dessert 

♡ neither of you would be able to finish it before it goes bad so you ended up cutting it up into pieces  and sending each guest away with a little goody-bag with a slice of cake inside lmao 

♡ once you had finished your goodbyes and everyone had filed out of your home, you flopped onto the couch and let out a deep sigh of relief. well, it was only a sigh for a few moment as it became a wheeze when bokuto laid down on top of you 

♡ ‘happy birthday, (y/n). i’m sorry if i tired you out.’ he hummed, fiddling with your fingers as his lips curled into a shaky smile

♡ ‘i’m a bit sleepy but i had an amazing time. thank you so much, kō.’

♡ bokuto smiled, his heavy lid falling shut as he finally rested his neck, being able to fall asleep comfortably now that you’ve told him that you had fun

SATORI TENDŌ

♡ unlike bokuto, he’ll actually mention your birthday a few weeks prior to the celebration so he can plan the perfect date :3

♡ ‘so do you wanna go to the aquarium or the theme park? because i know we’ve went to the park before but they remodelled it apparently. plus, maybe the aquarium is a bit underwhelming for such a special day, but it’s up to yo--’

♡ ‘we won’t really get to spend much time in either. if you consider the time school finishes, the train ride and the time the aquarium and park closes so maybe we could just chill at my house instead.’

♡ tendō deadpanned for a moment, the most unamused look taking over his features until he suddenly burst out laughing, cackling as if you just told the joke of the century, ‘seriously, (y/n)? you’re gonna go to school on your birthday.’

♡ ‘yes, of course.’ you replied in all seriousness, resulting in tendō awkwardly beginning to stifle his chuckles.

♡ he frowned, slumping back into the seat beside you, ‘c’mon, it’s your birthday, though! you deserve the day off.’

♡ you shook your head, kindly declining his suggestion, ‘i have a test on that day.’

♡ ‘all the more reason to ditch!’

♡ now it was your turn to deadpan

♡ tendō tossed his head back while letting out a sigh  of defeat, draping his arm around your shoulder to lovingly pull you to his chest, ‘alright, then. whatever you want, dear.’

♡ you smiled, glad that you didn’t need to disagree with him any longer — and you were even happier on the day. even though you insisted that he keeps things small on your birthday, he still managed to find a way to make things extra asf by getting you a massive plush that was about half the size of your stature and a hamper of homemade chocolates ><

ISSEI MATSUKAWA 

♡ honestly, he’s never been the best at giving gifts but he tries extra hard for you 

♡ like if you off-handedly say that you are cold during class, he’ll buy you a bunch of new jackets, jumpers and gloves

♡ or if you say you need more mascara, he’ll buy you exact same one you usually wear 

♡ he’s observant enough to notice and remember the exact shade and brands of all your cosmetic products but he’s not observant enough to pick up on the subtle hints you drop as to what you want for your birthday 

♡ you can never guess what he’s gonna get you and that adds to your anticipation for the day 

♡ if your birthday is on a school day, he’ll bring in a batch of homemade cupcakes (which hanamaki helped him with) and stick a candle in one of them for you to blow out 

♡ he offers you one but they are all pretty stale- just smile and nod while your teeth feel like they are being shattered trying to bite down on the cupcake 

♡ it might set off the fire alarm but oh well, just count that as another present

♡ oikawa will probably get you something like a bouquet and try flirt with you so at that point, matsukawa and hanamaki begin using the cupcakes as weapons 

♡ they are a two for one deal so you’re going to be spending the day with both of them tailing you like lost puppies

platonic RINTARŌ SUNA

♡ (requester specified) your birthday is on the same day as his so ofc he’s going to be a little salty abt it 

♡ you both created a game to see who receives the most birthday wishes and whoever won gets ¥1500 from the loser’s birthday money

♡ for the past few years, he’s usually been the winner by just a few but this year, you made it a point to befriend all him teammates in order to ensure victory 

♡ having to pretend to be friendly with atsumu — who wasn’t very good at hiding his massive crush —was definitely a challenge but you powered through 

♡ in fact, you may have played the role too well as both the miya twins gave you a gift 

♡ osamu gave both you and suna a plastic bag filled with some food he made and water bottles

♡ as for atsumu, his gift to you was a massive hamper filled with an assortment of many different luxury confectionary which didn’t look cheap at all but it didn’t feel appropriate to question the price so you simply took it from him with a bright smile

♡ of course, suna was excited (and very hungry) as he expected the same gift but he was more than disappointed when all he received was a bag of chips and a slap on the back

♡ he goes out of his way to tell every teacher it’s your birthday in hopes that they’ll make the class sing happy birthday to you 

♡ but it pisses him off to no end when you add that it’s his birthday too so he ends up getting roped into your misery 

♡ also your thumbs are going to be sore at night swiping through all the various candid pics that suna took of you throughout the day (in less than flattering poses) which he uplaoded to almost all of his social media stories with stupid ass captions 

♡ but dw bc he’ll eventually post a nice photo of you with a sweet message

♡ ‘happy birthday to @(y/n) . i would die for you, bitch (even though you annoy the hell out of me every single day 🤠).’ 

[marriael]

Be my Latibule? (Changbin x Reader)

@skzrequests​

Request: My pace 24 w changbin? uwu im a sucker for the idea of tattooist bin lmao I so vibed with this request, I love thinking about tattoist bin

Word count: 3717

a/n: part of the reason this took so long is I had to restart it twice :(

You walk into work at Insomnia Coffee Shop and your co-worker, Sohee, greets you.

“Anyone fun yet?” You ask. She's usually in when the store opens and often gets the most interesting customers.

“Not today. But yesterday a cute guy came in and ordered 3 americanos. Turns out it was for him and 2 friends. I tried to give them for free cause he looked half dead but he wouldn't let me. Who even does that?“

While she was talking you had slipped on the ugly orange apron and scowl when you noticed someone double knotted and didn't untie the strings.

You shake your head, “probably a college student pulling an all-nighter. What college student turns down free anything? Ugh, I wish some cute barista offered me free coffee, just, ever.”

Sohee turns and passes the drink over the counter. “For Jeno!”

A cute guy comes up to grab and winks at her before he turns to the door. Your jaw drops a little and you slap her shoulder.

“Is he a regular?” You ask.

“Nope. Said he got a recommendation from a friend and went out of his way to come. Weird day to do it though.”

You hum as the next customer comes in and you get thoroughly distracted. It isn’t until he comes up to the counter and speaks that you stop staring blankly.

“1 latte, 1 americano,” his voice is low and rough and he’s a little bit intimidating honestly. He’s got a small bit of a tattoo poking out one of the sleeves and you try and look at it before you have to turn around.

“Is that a tattoo?” You ask him when you turn around.

He rolls the short sleeve up to his shoulder to expose the full tattoo and you stare at the simple beauty of the moon and stars.

“Woah, that’s cool!” Sohee must’ve seen him just in her peripheral… or she was staring like you. You nod emphatically in agreement.

He blushes a little and says “thanks. Couldn’t reach this part of my arm or else I would’ve done it myself, but I still drew it.”

“Do you work at a tattoo parlour then?”

“Yeah, I do a lot of the designs for our place,”

You gasp, “can I come look at them? Please?” You pout trying to convince him to accept your strange request. You just felt something pulling you towards these drawings and the man who made them.

He looks at you for a moment then says, “yeah, let me give you the address. When you come in just ask for Changbin.”

He pulls out a random business card, not his unfortunately, and writes down the address. He slides it over and covers his smile with a sip.

You turn back to the coffee machines as he walks out the door but Mina stops you.

“Changbin huh? He was pretty cute,” she smirks.

“Hush your mouth and get back to work, brat.”

“Nuh-uh! I get to leave now but if, no no not if when, you meet him we're talking about this later.”

The next day was Tuesday and, thankfully, it was mostly empty of things for you. So you pull out the piece of paper Changbin gave you and looked up the address.

It was just a couple blocks down from the coffee shop and you head out. The building is small and squished right between a bakery and a florist, basically some cheesy romance just waiting to happen.

You walked in and looked around. There were corkboards on either sidewall and they were filled with drawings pinned to them. The bottoms of them fluttered a little at the draft you brought with you.

When you looked at him the man behind the counter raised an eyebrow at you. Ah, so it was very obvious you wouldn't be in here often.

You let out a little nervous laugh, “hi, Changbin told me to come see him here?”

The man raised both eyebrows at that. You fiddled as he looked you over again then laughed a little. “Changbin!” He suddenly yelled.

From one of the closed side rooms comes a muffled voice “go away Chan, I’m busy!”

The man at the desk, Chan, turns back to you “sorry, he’s always like this. He’s probably just sketching a custom.”

“Oh, I can come back later if he’s busy.”

Chan doesn’t answer you and instead yells at Changbin again “I know you’re not actually busy. Your partner is here to see you!”

“Hey!” You protest but Chan just grins at you as you hear the door open.

“Chan what the hell are you-” Changbin cuts himself off and gently smiles when he sees you “hey, didn’t think you were actually gonna come.”

You smile back at him. He looks much softer when he’s smiling and you were briefly caught off guard.

“Tell me again about how you’re not dating or at least interested, “ Chan’s eyes flick between the shy but wide smiles on yours and Changbin’s faces.

Changbin rolls his eyes but inclines his head towards the door he was behind and you follow behind him. He closes the door most of the way behind you and then moves to sit at the desk in the far corner. There are more drawings in here and you assume all of them are his. It’s a wide variety of subjects, from small sketches of animals and plants to large and detailed fantasy creatures.

“Sorry about Chan, he’s always delighted in teasing anyone who’s younger than him,” Changbin shakes his head, probably at Chan even though he can’t see or hear in the room.

“Have you two known each other a long time then?” You ask and tilt your head a little.

“Ah, yeah,” Changbin looks at you again, “most of us met in high school and a couple joined right at the start of college. College was really when our whole group started getting close, too.”

“Sounds nice,” you were paying attention to him, promise, but with such wonderful drawings surrounding you, you really couldn’t help it if your attention drifted a bit.

Changbin notices and raises an eyebrow slightly, “interested in getting one?”

“What? Oh, no no, not right now at least. They’re just… really, really good.”

Changbin immediately looks down and smiles, and you could swear he was blushing a bit but when he looks back up it's gone.

“There’s a couple hidden ones in here that aren’t mine. Think you can spot ‘em?” He challenges.

You immediately head up to one of the boards and stand about 5 centimetres away. You push a couple of them up and out of the way, making sure to be careful. There really is all sorts of stuff, Changbin must be pretty busy. A rushing river done with such detail you can almost see it moving. Swirls that when you look just right suddenly snap into focus to make an abstract, soaring bird. Nature moulded with a person or item in such a seamless way that there is not a difference between them, they are simply one continuous sight.

You’re looking for hidden drawings, not ogling at Changbin’s skills. Right. When you move one more there is a small piece of paper. There is… something on it. Either Changbin drew this when he was about 5 years old or it was someone else.

“Hey, I found one. I don’t even know what this is though, it looks like a squiggle.”

Changbin laughs, “hold on.”

He comes and looks right over your shoulder. You can feel his hot breath on your ear and feel his chest move when he laughs at the drawing again. You quickly reign in the slight disappointment when he moves away.

“Yeah, that’s the thing Chan keeps trying to make our mascot. Felix and I won’t let him so until one of us breaks it’s two against one,” he shrugs and it doesn’t look like he feels bad at all.

“Do all your friends have a drawing stashed in here somewhere?”

“Well, I’ve seen at least 16 drawings put in here so yes they all have one. Some of them and Felix, Jisung’s special twin, has hidden at least 4. There’s probably more that he did when I wasn’t paying attention.”

“Ugh, how many friends do you even have. If it’s more than, like, 6 I might be genuinely angry.”

Changbin practically cackles, “well then get ready to be absolutely furious. There’s 9 of us, including myself and everyone I’ve already mentioned.”

“That’s not even fair! How have you all been friends for so long without someone murdering someone else.”

“Oh, believe me. Seungmin’s wanted to. Unfortunately, his best friends are some of our greatest problem children. Though sometimes I'm pretty sure he'll murder them first.”

“Any other possible murderers I should worry about seeing?” You flip a couple more pictures up, still passively looking for any other weird drawings.  

“Hm, Minho's murderous intentions are usually directed at Jisung. He'd do it for his cats too, though. He definitely fits in well.”

“Were there concerns about him not fitting in?”

“Yeah 'cause, he was the last one to join us, but he’s just as chaotic if not more. For Chan’s graduation night he insisted on using some mini firework things he found. Nearly lit himself and Jisung on fire with the very first one.”

Something clicks in your brain. You’ve heard this story before, from one of your random classmates. He was… interesting, to put it politely.

“Are you talking about Lee Minho? The smug bastard who tried to get everyone to call him Lee Know for like 5 months? And Han Jisung, my co-worker kind of, that I’m pretty sure hates me for some reason?”

“Wait, you know them? And why do you think Jisung hates you?”

“Yeah, Minho was my weird classmate. I’m like 90% sure Jisung hates me because he barely looks at me and gives one-word answers to all of my questions. I don’t really see him other than during shift switches but still!”

“I think Minho actually might have mentioned you before. And Jisung is just like that around people he doesn’t know. Trust me, he actually has the capacity to be the loudest person in the room. By far.”

“Huh, I wonder how many of your friends I actually know.”

"Well, we're hanging out on Thursday. Do you want to come with and meet some more of them?”

You hum thoughtfully, thinking of any possible commitments you had made lately, “I probably can but can I bring Sohee? Just so I know someone there?”

“Do I still not count as someone you know?” He whines and pouts a little for the extra effect.

“Not enough. If you all go off on some inside joke I need someone to be confused with.”

“Actually fair, because it might happen. I’ll let you know when and where we’re going later then.”

You pull out your phone and extend it to him, when he looks at it confused you raise an eyebrow, “unless you plan to send it by bird I recommend putting your number in my phone.”

He makes a surprised noise and keeps his eyes away from you and on your phone. It has not spread to his face but under his dark hair his bright red ears peek out just enough for you to see. Even when handing it back he doesn’t look at you and you smile at his bashfulness.

“See ya soon, Bin. I work again tomorrow.”

Directions are not always your strong suit. You’d like to believe they are and that’s how you end up like this, no map and unsure of what direction you should even look in.

“You look lost,” a voice comes from behind you.

You spin around. A tall puppy-like guy is standing behind you, he looks slightly amused and you’re betting it’s at your expense.

“Yeah, do you know where M.I.A Café is?”

“Oh,” he nods, “yeah I’m going there. Let’s go.”

It’s slightly awkward, walking this distance with someone you don’t know. You search your brain with how to start a conversation with someone.

“Are you… meeting someone at the café?” You ask, slightly awkward.

“Yeah, a couple of my friends.”

“Huh, so am I. Well, actually, it’s someone else’s friends and I’m just kinda tagging along,” you shrug, realizing how awkward this will probably be.

“Good luck with that,” he says as he holds the door for you.

You enter and scan the tables for Changbin’s face. You wave and slip into the chair opposite him. On the edge of the table thankfully, hopefully Sohee can recognize the back of your head. Someone sits next to you and you get a little shock seeing who it is.

He grins at you, “hey stranger.”

The guy you walked all that way with one of Changbin’s friends!

Changbin looks between you confusedly, “you know Seungmin?”

“He helped me get here. I might have gotten a little lost.”

“A little, ok. You had no idea where you were,” Seungmin snarks.

“Maybe so!”

“Well good to know you get along with another one of my friends already,” Changbin interjects.

Someone comes up and sits beside Changbin.

“Hey, I’m Hyunjin,” he greets you simply.

You give him a little wave. You don’t like judging people so fast but he’s a little intimidating.

You hear a little scrape of a chair beside and Sohee pops down at the end of the table.

“Sohee, you made it!”

“Yeah, no thanks to you,” she sticks out her tongue at you.

“I’ve seen you somewhere before,” Hyunjin speaks up and you whip your head towards him.

Sohee looks at him and squints for a moment. They start looking at each other for so long that you think they’re actually just having a staring contest. You think you recognize someone walking outside but when you actually look out the window you have no idea who any of them are. It’s still a nice day out, maybe you can go out somewhere after this.

“Oh! You’re the guy I thought was going to drink 3 americanos the other day!”

“Sohee~” you sing.

“What?” She looks at you, annoyed.

“You forgot an important detail that you told me about him.”

She looks genuinely confused for a moment before catching on and shaking her head, “shut up, nope nope nope.”

“You think he’s cute!” You cackle.

You, Changbin, and Seungmin make fun of Sohee and Hyunjin for a little while. It backfires when Sohee manages to sneakily turn the attention on you, well you and Changbin. Together, you being together.

“Yeah, and you stared at him for so long when he came in!” Sohee says.

“Sohee, kindly shut your mouth,” you reply, smiling the most pained and fake smile ever.

“Ok, please don’t pour your drink on me, I’m afraid. Also we work together so I’m coming for you.”

You just roll your eyes at her, you didn’t actually scare her and you both know that. She just likes to be some sort of annoying sister to you.

Hyunjin clears his throat and when you look at him his eyes are bright. He smiles sneakily and says, “you should hear about the time Changbin actually poured his drink on someone.”

“Hyunjin that was an accident and you know it!” Changbin exclaims, attempting to shoulder check a giggling Hyunjin.

You breeze into Blueprint Tattoos and Chan looks up in surprise.

“Hey there, didn’t know you were coming in today.”

You let out a single, unnatural ‘ha’, “I didn’t know either but uh, here I am.”

“Well, Changbin’s in his usual spot. I don’t think he has anything today.”

“Thanks,” you nod stiffly.

Looking around at the cork boards you can see some of them definitely done in Changbin’s style and a handful more you suspect would be his. You breathe out heavily and slouch a little before straightening and walking towards where Changbin should be, full of false confidence.

“Are you ok?” Chan asks and when you look over his eyebrows are furrowed and his forehead pinched down a little. The concern from someone you barely know is a little unusual but the warmth you get from it is welcoming.

“Yeah, just a little nervous you know?” You force a small laugh but you know it’s not convincing.

“Oh!” Chan exclaims, “well if this is what I think it is then good luck.”

Chan’s face is completely relaxed and you feel a little bit bad for making him worry so much. You’re not entirely sure what he thinks you’re doing but you smile at his kindness as you open Changbin’s door.

He has headphones in and doesn’t hear when you close the door behind you. You stand there for a minute, back against the door, just looking at him. Most people move to what they’re listening to but the only thing moving is his hand and it glides across the page. You have no idea what he’s doing but you just hope he’ll show it to you when he’s done.

You take a big breath in and out before approaching him. Tapping his shoulder gently you hope not to cause him to jerk his arm and ruin a line or anything. He stops completely and pulls his headphones out. He looks a little annoyed but then he looks up to see you and his face eases.

“Hi! I didn’t know you were coming today. Anything specific on the brain or did you just want to hang out with Best Friend Binnie?” He gives you an exaggerated and comical wink.

“Give me a tattoo?” You say, surprisingly calm for how jittery you actually feel.

“Wait, what? Are you sure? Like really sure?”

You roll your eyes like a stereotypical teenager would at their parents, that is to say, so far back it felt like they would disappear into your head, “no, Changbin, I’m not sure. I’ve really only been thinking about it basically since the first time I walked into this room.”

“That was only a week ago,” Changbin deadpans.

“Yeah, and?”

Changbin shakes his head, “I’m not going to give you a tattoo you’ll regret.”

You look around at the drawings. Feeling like that one action gave this decision away as way more spontaneous than it had originally seemed. Yes, you had been thinking about getting one and getting Changbin to do it for you but doing it today specifically was a complete impulse.

“I’m not going to regret it! Bin, please,” you pout at him.

Changbin tilts his head to look at the ceiling as if it will give him some guidance.

“What do you want?”

You clap your hands excitedly and then hesitate again.

“Well, I know I want a flower but… I want you to choose which one. I want it to be a flower with a good meaning behind it.”

Changbin nods and stands there considering your request. You take the time to look around his office again. Staring at all the intricate drawings on the walls you feel a bit dorky choosing to get a simple flower. Your eyes briefly catch on two stylized drawings of the word SpearB. One of them has a cute little ‘Binnie~’ under it and the other has a messy ‘Chanathan’ in English and Korean.

There are a couple of flowers scattered throughout the room so you’re a bit surprised when you hear Changbin ripping a page out of his sketchbook. His back is to you so you can’t see him cutting it down to a size to la and trace on your body. You can hear the gentle snips of scissors as you distract yourself with rows of flowers connected and individual petals with such detail you could believe them being real.

You watch as he gently traces the pattern onto your skin. You don’t recognize the flower right away but it looks delicate and beautiful. You think you catch him glancing up at you a few times but you’re pretty sure the clock is behind you and he’s looking at that.

You zone out almost entirely as he prepares. Well, it’s not exactly zoning out. You’d say it’s appreciation of an attractive man, your friends would say that you’re just checking him out.

Ok, so what if you are? Changbin’s shirt has no sleeves which means his arms are on full display which means that you can’t stop looking at the muscles flexing as he moves. Thankfully you’re conscious enough to look away when he turns back around.

The buzz of the gun wakes you up and Changbin is looking at you.

“All good?” He asks.

“Yeah, let’s do this.”

You watch for a moment as he starts going and the ink sinks permanently into your skin. It’s a strange thing to conceptualize, something being on your body forever. You catch a glimpse of Changbin’s concentrated face and you get completely distracted by him. If this is what he looks like everytime he gives a tattoo then you want to observe, even study, him.

His mouth is set in a firm line and eyebrows pinched slight inwards and downwards. His eyes are wide and focused and if you look closely enough you can see every slight movement of his irises following his hand around.

Neither of you say a word and you don’t dare move to try and look at the clock or your phone. Just watching and waiting in silence, but together. A shared silence is different than one had alone.

Silences by yourself can feel wrong sometimes but this kind of silence with Changbin feels so right that you almost never want it to end.

Good things often come quicker than they should and soon the buzzing stops. You can hear phantom buzzing still and suspect you will for quite a while. You lift your arm and look at it, it’s finished now but you’re still not sure what it is and certainly not what it means.

“What is it?” You ask.

“An almond blossom. It, uh, it means promise.”

“Promise, huh?” You grin and look at Changbin's pink-ish face.

You expect him to have some witty comment but instead, he just smiles goofily and breathlessly says, “yeah.”

[lady-divine-writes]

Good Omens one-shot - “The Haunting of Warlock Dowling” (Rated M)

Summary: Warlock Dowling thinks his house is haunted. So he investigates, using a digital recorder to try and capture an EVP. He manages to record something he thinks might be one.

Nanny, however, strongly disagrees. (1454 words)

Notes: Just a random re-write for Halloween :) Warning for implied sexual content.

Read on AO3.

“Nanny! Nanny! Wake up! I have something I need to show you!” Warlock races full tilt down the hall, sliding across the polished wood floor in socked feet while imagining that he's James Bond, escaping the clutches of rogue agents by snowboarding down the Alps amid a hail of gunfire. 

He throws open the door to Nanny Ashtoreth's room and flies onto her bed, climbing up her lumpy mattress to find her already awake and scrambling to put on her dark glasses.

“Warlock!” she snaps in surprise. “What have I told you about running in the house? And barging in without knocking?”

“I’m sorry, Nanny! But I had to come tell you straight away! I got one! I really got one!”

“Got one what, my little love?” Ashtoreth asks, intrigued. The last time Warlock said those words, he came bounding into the kitchen, covered in head-to-toe mud, and carrying something Nanny Ashtoreth could only describe as furry, squeaky, and highly annoyed.

Luckily, it wasn’t rabid.

Nanny wasn't too thrilled about getting her gown filthy, but the reaction of Warlock’s mother to the wretched beast made the whole encounter much more delightful.

“An EVP!” he announces proudly, holding up the digital recorder he’d gotten on his last birthday. “I was right! I told you! Our house is haunted!”

“Are you certain?” Ashtoreth asks, a concerned look on her angular face.

Warlock beams with confidence as he shakes the recorder inches from her nose. “Oh, absolutely! I listened to it five times! It’s definitely an EVP! It sounds exactly like the ones I heard on YouTube!”

“Now, Warlock - what did I say about watching videos on YouTube without my express permission?”

“Sorry, Nanny.” Warlock deflates, his excitement considerably dulled. “But I had to! I needed help gathering evidence! Everything I know about ghost hunting, I learned from the Paranormal Plumbers!”

“With a name like that, I'll bet they’re American, aren’t they?” Nanny grumbles, struggling to sit up straighter on the bed. “Why again, is it, that you believe this house is haunted? As far as I know, no one has ever died here.” 

Nanny, in fact, knows that for sure. If there was a troublesome ghost lurking about, she would have dispatched it straight away. She doesn’t need anyone or anything interfering with her raising the Antichrist … the gardener, Brother Francis, notwithstanding.

Nope. This house is neutral - supernaturally speaking.

“I told you before, Nanny,” Warlock begins with a shake of his head. Why is it that adults never seem to remember the important stuff after he tells them half a dozen times? He’ll never understand. Aren’t they supposed to be smarter than him? Isn't that why they're in charge? “A few weeks ago, I heard moaning after everyone was asleep. It sounded like a soul in pain. Horrible pain! Like they were being tortured! Their eyes torn out of their skull and their intestines …”

Nanny puts up a hand to shush him. “Okay, okay. I get the gist.” Normally, she would love to sit and listen to him ramble on about the grotesque goings-on inside his tiny brain. But there are other, more pressing matters at hand. Warlock needs to be ready for school in an hour. And Nanny Ashtoreth needs to check in with the head office.

They need to move things along. 

“Anything else?” she asks.

“I saw a large, shadowy figure walk past my room late at night. The floorboards creak and the lights flicker on and off when they shouldn’t …” Warlock pauses, but when Nanny doesn't invite him to continue, he sighs. As much as he's trying to get Nanny excited about his discovery, her face remains blank.

She looks uncomfortable. 

He had hoped his nanny would be eager to examine his evidence. But she’s just sitting there, on her lumpy mattress, with the covers wrapped around her, looking anxious. 

Like she’d rather be anywhere else. 

“You don’t believe me,” he says grumpily. 

“I didn’t say that,” Ashtoreth says, shifting her weight away from the lumpiest of the mattress lumps. “I’m simply trying to digest all that you’ve told me. It’s a lot to think about, my dear.”

Warlock nods glumly, his eyes dropping to his nanny’s tartan quilt. He’s never seen this quilt on her bed before. It’s lumpy, too. In that way, it matches her mattress perfectly. Warlock starts poking at one particularly squishy lump, his once shiny smile well and truly tarnished.

“Here …” She grabs the boy under his arms and lifts him onto her lap. “Why don’t we listen to your recording, and I’ll tell you what I hear?”

His grin returns times one thousand. "Okay!" he says and presses play. They both sit stone still and listen. 

With any luck, he recorded himself snoring, Nanny thinks. Or talking in his sleep. Something that would be easy to explain in a way that would neither frighten nor disappoint an inquisitive eight-year-old. The last thing Nanny wants to do is discourage him.

But if Warlock did find evidence of some long-dead ghost who’s been popping by after hours, she’ll need to get herself a summoning circle.

Because someone has some explaining to do.

According to the counter on the recorder’s display, whatever Warlock heard starts at over two hours in. Warlock goes to bed at 8, so that would make this around 10 something. Nanny would have still been up, but she doesn’t recall hearing anything out of the ordinary at that hour.

The loudest noise in the room (per the recording) is the inhale-exhale of Warlock sleeping, and it makes Nanny smile. But not long after, another noise starts. It’s muffled, intermittent. To the untrained ear (and through several walls and closed doors) it does sound very ominous, like the notes of a sustained and painful cry rising up from the depths of Hell.

But to someone who knows exactly what they’re listening to, it’s clear as crystal. Nanny’s eyes grow wide behind her glasses, and she grabs the recorder out of Warlock's grasp.

“Uh ... that’s enough for now, Warlock, dear,” Ashtoreth says, turning it off.

“So what do you think, Nanny? Do you think I caught a ghost?”

“You caught something, alright,” Nanny mumbles. She stares at the recorder, unsure of what to do. "You know what, my love?” she says, helping Warlock off the bed and onto the floor. “Let me get up and get dressed. I would like to bring this to Brother Francis to have a listen.”

“You’re not going to erase it, are you?” Warlock gasps, worry scrunching his nose, creasing his brow.

“I won't,” Nanny promises. “I just want his opinion on the subject. You trust Brother Francis, don’t you?”

“I do, Nanny,” Warlock replies.

“Good. Then off you go. Get ready for school. I’ll be along in a moment.”

“Yes, Nanny.” Warlock rolls up onto his tiptoes to give Nanny a peck on the cheek, then hurries away, walking at a much safer pace back to his bedroom.

Nanny Ashtoreth waits until she hears Warlock shut his door. Then she rewinds the recording and presses play.

It’s not the moan of some faceless spectre haunting their halls.

It’s Brother Francis, moaning in the farthest thing from pain.

Ashtoreth kicks at the lump wedged between her legs beneath her blanket. “You daft angel!” The lump wails in agony, shimmying out from underneath, rubbing a sore spot on his belly. “You need to be more careful sneaking in here! And lock the bloody door next time! We're both lucky I still had my nightgown on! We'd've been sacked for sure!”

“I know, my dear. I know." Francis snaps his fingers, locking the door - too little too late seeing as they won't be going back to what they were doing moments ago. "But sometimes I forget. I just can’t help myself where you’re concerned."

"That's quite understandable," Ashtoreth says, breathing in deep, trying her hardest to quell what had almost been an earth-shattering start to her day. 

"Young Master Warlock has some sharp knees," Brother Francis remarks, massaging the back of his neck as he watches Nanny Ashtoreth climb out of bed and get her uniform for the day assembled. "What are you going to do about the recording? You promised not to erase it. And you can't go back on yer promise. You'd break his heart."

"I know, I know ..." She had toyed with the idea of making the moans sound more like Mr. And Mrs. Dowling, but she can’t remember the last time those two were intimate. “I’m just going to make it sound like a genuine ghost,” she says, snapping her fingers. “It'll be easier to explain. And a lot less traumatizing.”

[northcarolinanative]

𝐘𝐨𝐮'𝐫𝐞 𝐈𝐭 𝐅𝐨𝐫 𝐌𝐞 - Pope Heyward

Description: After John B and Sarah are gone and Ward was able to get the gold off the Island Pope feels the most defeated he ever has. He’s losing control of his friendships, his family, and his life. He slips into the unhealthy habits of his best friend, JJ. Y/N doesn’t like the person he has become, but what can she even say to start to make it better. TW// Drug use 

A/N: I had this idea out of nowhere when rewatching Outer banks recently. Pope is so complex to me and I had a hard time trying to encompass him in this, so any feedback that you have would be so so appreciated. I promise I am working on collision and request this is just a lil break because all my requests are JJ (not that I am complaining haha). As always my Requests/asks/messages are open :) 

It had been a few solemn days since Ward Cameron had flown off with the gold and John B and Sarah’s disappearance. The two young teenager’s fates hung like an unsolved mystery heavy over the rest of the pogues. The conspiracies that each person had come up with circled everyone’s thoughts anytime a silence fell over the group. The group felt utterly defeated at the loss of their friend, their brother. They lost the gold to the same man that sealed the fate of John B, angering them even more. 

“I don’t even understand why Ward needed that gold so bad!” JJ said kicking the logs in the fire. The logs fell creating a flash of flames. The group flinched slightly at the sudden heat, causing JJ to step back, falling into his respective camping chair. “He’s already rich as fuck anyway.” He scoffed. He pulled a joint from his pockets placing it between his fingers and lighting it. We were used to JJ getting high to deal with the thoughts that overtook his brain. JJ wasn’t JJ without ‘taking the edge off.’ 

What did surprise me was how Pope leaned forward, skillfully taking the lit joint from JJ’s hand. He leaned back in his chair, bringing it to his lips. He took a visibly large hit, only letting out a few shallow coughs. He closed his eyes letting the feeling wash over him. JJ reached to take it back from him, only for Pope to pull it away from him. Kie and I shared a worried glance with one another before looking back at the two boys on the other side of the fire. 

“He’s just a greedy Kook. Rich people get richer, and we don’t. We aren’t the Camerons, we don’t get second chances. Ward robbed us of our one chance to make it rich.” Pope spoke, his voice coming out slow and his drawl becoming more prominent. He was on his fourth hit from JJ’s blunt, no longer flinching when he took a long drag. He finally offered the blunt back to JJ, who practically snatched it from his hand. 

“I was trying to get you to relax bro, not hog my shit,” JJ mumbled. Pope just responded with a groan. I kept my eyes trained on the boy in front of me. He had been worrying me lately. He had to have a lot of emotions building up inside of him. He had expressed to us many times that growing up, he never really learned the proper way to deal with emotions. We all knew Heyward expected nothing but the best for Pope, pushing him to be the best version of himself that he could be. Somewhere along the way, I think Pope worked so hard that he lost part of who he was to his studies. All he wanted to do was making his parents proud. I think that is why the treasure hunt was so important for him. It was developmental for all of us, but it allowed Pope to have fun and open up to experiences outside of the textbook, to live the rebellious teenage life. 

We were all quick to tell him to come with us, to stop worrying about the essay, the interview, or his dad. None of us thought about how that would affect him. He walked out of his scholarship interview, giving up his one-way ticket to a better life, just to help us. That is the kind of friend that Pope is. Since then it had been tearing the boy apart. He didn’t say much, but whenever Heyward had us packing orders at the shop I could hear the sly remarks made about how Pope had the opportunity for a better life, or how Heyward was angry that Pope let something so good slip from his fingers. 

My heart hurt for the boy sitting in front of me. If that wasn’t enough he had to sit with the girl that he confessed his feelings to, only to have her push him away. Kie told me about the interaction almost as soon as it happened. Every time I would catch his eyes wandering to stop on her face, or he would follow in behind her, my stomach would drop. I would do anything for Pope, he knows that. After Kiara told me about their conversation at Tannyhill, I decided that I was going to push my feelings for Pope down to the pits of my brain and forget them, even though that hadn’t been happening lately. 

I definitely did not have the best coping mechanisms for this, but JJ was always down to flirt with anyone. I started responding to JJ’s empty flirtatious remarks more often. They almost always caused the two of us and Kie to laugh, but Pope was always seemingly in another world. He was always one to have a witty one-liner or the perfect roast to knock JJ down a few pegs, but he was quiet now. His sense of humor fleeting the group. 

“That’s…” Kie started, looking between the group, trying to see a reaction from Pope’s train of thought. “Dark.” she breathed. 

Pope scoffed before promptly getting up from his spot by the fire and quickly walking toward the water’s edge. I looked at Kiara and JJ with a confused expression. She nodded her head in his direction signaling that I should follow. I knew that things between the two of them were tense, but every time Pope had gotten upset over the past few weeks my heart broke further and further. He was turning into a shell of himself from the overwhelming amount of rejection that he was feeling. 

I found him, leaning against a tree at the edge of the woods, his head hung low, looking at the sharp rocks that formed the jetty. The closer I got the louder the water crashing to the rocks became, helping to drown out some of the loudest thoughts in my head. I approached the tall boy, bringing my hand up to his shoulder, beginning to rub it in a comforting manner.  

He pulled his shoulder away from me with a shrug. He shook his head slightly, before looking away from me. It hurt like hell seeing him have this reaction to me simply trying to be there for him. I felt the tears prick my eyes, the events of the past few weeks coming back to fruition as I watched the broken boy in front of me. The moonlight was bouncing off his skin making him glow in the darkness of the moment. 

I decided that being by the water was the only way that I would feel calm at this moment. Saltwater ran in all of our veins, the closer we were in proximity to the ocean making us feel more at home. I stepped out and onto the jetty. Looking back at Pope, trying to elicit anything that I could out of him. I held my hand out to him, urging him to follow me to the waves. As his hand slipped into mine, I pulled him further and further from the edge of the island. I felt a glimmer of hope in the way that he gripped my hand and the soft smile that graced his face as we clumsily made our way over the jagged, mismatched rocks. 

We finally got the edge, finding a larger rock, suitable for the two of us to sit on. We sat on the rock, our arms and legs brushing against each other due to the limited space. Pope’s eyes were once again were trained on the water that flowed against the rocks underneath us. The silence was heavy for a while. 

Pope finally starting to speak. “I’m sorry that I went off like that.” He sighed, leaning back onto his arms letting his head roll back with his eyes closed. 

I didn’t respond immediately. I was distracted by the way that his demeanor had changed the anger that had held onto him moments ago was now replaced with sadness. The way that the solemn look on his face made me want nothing more than to melt into him. “You have every right to be upset, Pope,” I said reaching for his hand again. He let me pull it into my lap, holding it between the two of mine, my thumbs rubbing comforting lines, back and forth.

“It’s just so much. I don’t know how much I can handle. I am never enough.” He said. I felt his hand tense up as he lifted himself to sit up straight. “I have literally disappointed my father so much, he won’t even look me in the eye anymore Y/N. I gave up my one good shot to get outta here, at a better life, to help some damn treasure hunt!” He said the urgency in his voice. I was at a loss for words, not knowing what to say to help him feel better. “I gave up everything and it still wasn’t enough for the others. They want me to help them with research and give up my time, that I need to earn back my father’s respect, to go on another goose chase.” He said scoffing. 

“Hey,” I said forcing him to look at me. “They,” I said nodding my head back toward the other two. “May not get it, but I do. I realize that you gave up everything for your idiot friends. Me included.” I said, finally getting him to crack a slight smile. “And for what it’s worth, I appreciate every single sacrifice that you made through the entire treasure hunt, and I’m sure that if John B was here, he would too,” I said nudging his shoulder.  

He let out a slight laugh at the mention of John B. It was always a toss-up to see how we all would react to the mention of him and Sarah, sometimes it was a reminiscent chuckle, sometimes it was a few straggling tears. “Don’t sell yourself short. We would have never found that well without both our brains.” He said nudging my shoulder back. I was happy to see a little more of the Pope that I know, the Pope that I loved, peeking through all the emotions again. 

I laughed with him shortly before continuing. “As for your dad, he wants what’s best for you and I don’t think he knows exactly how to show his love for you, so he does it through pushing you to be better because he wished he had someone like that,” I spoke, recounting the time Heyward has told us about his family. I spoke softly trying not to overstep my boundaries. 

Pope nodded his head in response, taking in what I had just told him. “I’m glad that they always send you after me.” 

I snapped my head to look at him, my eyebrows knitting together in confusion. I met his deep brown eyes, filled with every emotion that he was feeling. Reading over my expression he became nervous about his statement. “I mean after everything with Kie, I just figured that they sent you.” He spoke in a low, uncertain voice, shrugging his shoulder, suddenly insecure in the moment. 

“No, I always come because I want to. Last time you stormed off, I practically pushed JJ off the dock to get to you.” I said giggling at the memory of the overdramatic boy we were speaking of. It was Pope’s turn to return my statement with knitted eyebrows, as his eyes searched my face for the meaning of my words. 

“After Kie…” He said, his voice shaky and low. No one really talked about Pope confessing his feelings for Kiara, we all pretended like it was a fever dream and did not happen. I heard him swallow before continuing,” rejected me.”  He said with a sigh. “She said that she wanted something different?” He said, his word coated with confusion themselves. “I just felt like no one really wanted me around, or wanted who I was.” Silence fell over us as I gripped his hands tighter involuntarily, hanging onto every word that left his mouth. Every word he spoke about Kie tearing at my heart. “I don’t love her like that though, I don’t know why I did it.” My heart wanted to shatter for him, but I settled for picking up the pieces to hand to him to put back together. He spoke, regret now evident in his voice. “I don’t why I am doing any of this. I’m getting drunk and high, picking fights, like I’m JJ,” He sighed. 

“I know we always said we wanted you to loosen up, this isn’t what I want” I laughed awkwardly trying to joke about the topic, but I meant every word that I said. “I want the old Pope back.” I felt him tense at my words. 

Pope stood up, taking his hand out of mine and wiping the dirt off the back of his pants. “I don’t! It’s like my life went downhill after that interview and no one gives a shit! The old Pope was walked over by all these people and I am sick of it!” Pope said, his voice rising as the distress became evident. He started stepping over rocks to move back to the forest. 

I quickly stood up, briefly contemplating the words that were about to come out of my mouth., I quickly swallowed my pride, not caring about the outcome. My heart was beating in my throat, making sure that the words had to claw their way out. “I care Pope! I have always cared! Probably more than just your best friend should!” I said. The tears started to prick at the corners of my eyes as the words left my mouth. 

Pope stopped in his tracks, turning to face me, his eyes wide as he processed the words that I said. I grew bold in my actions, deciding that if I was going to put it out there that I had to put it all out there. “I’ve always been here Pope, I wished I could have made you seen it sooner before you fell for Kie, but for me,” I stopped closing my eyes and taking a deep breath, “It’s always been you. You’re little witty comments never fail to brighten my day, or how you effortlessly help me to do better at anything, even the way that we used to sit on John B’s dock in the middle of the night and have those deep ass conversations.” I said, feeling out of breath. “You’re it for me.” I managed to get out as my voice finally broke. I opened my eyes to see Pope, walking back towards me, His steps careful and calculated as he crossed the distance that had been created between us. 

“You like me?” Pope stuttered out. His face was one of complete and utter shock. 

I shook my head and scoffed. “You don’t have to act so surprisedly.” The tears were falling freely down my face, as I tried to look anywhere but the curious eyes if the boy in front of me. I moved my hand to try and wipe away the tears that were falling down my face, embarrassed of how emotional I had become. 

I was stopped by Pope’s hand moving at the same time to cup the side of my face forcing me to look up at him. I felt my face contort to show the pain that I was feeling. His eyes flickered between the two of mine. I couldn’t help but melt into the touch of his hand, trying to savor the way that it felt to be in his grasp. 

It took me a minute to comprehend what was happening, but the Pope’s lips were on mine. I felt myself sway backward from the feeling. Pope wrapped his arm around my back to keep me upright as I kissed him back at a feverish pace. I settled my arms on either side of his neck, holding the back of his head in one hand. I wanted to pull him impossibly close. The world around us felt like it was spinning into nothing until it was just the two of us in the middle. I could feel the emotions of the night being poured into the kiss, the anger, the regret, but most importantly the passion. 

We finally had to pull away from one another in a need for air, but we stayed entangled together on the teetering top of a jetty rock. Pope leaned down once again resting his forehead against mine. The eye contact was so intimate that I felt like I could hear his thoughts. 

“Just so we’re clear. I meant it when I said I know that I am not in love with Kiara. I just thought that after all this time you would never see me the way I saw you, so I tried to move on. It really blew up in my face though.” He said, a small chuckle leaving his lips. He placed a soft kiss on the top of my head. “You’re it for me too.”

My Masterlist:) 

Tagging those who asked :) -- @kikifromtheblock​ @bedazzledbanks​ @alexa-playafricabytoto​ @poguelifesurfshop​ 

[bigskydreaming]

Hey you know what’s really funny, in that not at all, actually hey these priorities are kinda fucked, kinda way?

What’s hilarious is how people are more accepting of the sexualization of kids’ shows than they are of the social criticism of kids’ shows.

No, I’m not saying everyone who condemns commentary of kids’ shows with ‘ugh omg chill, its just a kids’ show’ is a hypocrite who simultaneously approves of sexualized art or fics of those shows or characters.

But I am saying that its definitely, definitely a thing, that even people who I see condemning pedophilic works seem to switch gears when it comes to being critical of social justice issues in the same source materials. As though their worldview is more willing to make room for or accept the inevitability of people wanting to sexualize stuff even though they’re clear that its meant ‘for kids’....that they’re willing to make room for the validity of people being critical of the messages imparted in stuff meant ‘for kids.’

And like.....does that not seem fucking backwards?

We need to stop treating stuff ‘meant for kids’ as though kids are somehow separate from the rest of society and immune to the way we’re all affected and influenced and harmed by media meant for adults.

Instead of them being MORE vulnerable, LESS protected, MORE influenced by the media meant FOR them. As though they’re not actively in the stages of being shaped by their media, their influences, their entertainment....instead of at the stages we’re at, where we’re forced to PUSH BACK against all the deeply ingrained biases and assumptions we’ve been mired in.....since we were kids.

Like...this is just so bizarre to me. Of fucking COURSE we need to be critical of ‘just a kids’ show’ or something that’s ‘jeez, meant for kids, remember’. Because if grown adults who see and are aware of the problems in those things, or areas they need work, don’t criticize and condemn and push back against them....who the fuck will?? The kids don’t know enough to protect themselves from toxic ideas and influences, because the toxic ideas and influences ARE WHAT THEY’RE IN THE PROCESS OF LEARNING FROM!

Unless, do you somehow think, in this culture where we’re painfully aware of how damn near EVERY piece of media we consume has layers and layers of racism, sexism, homophobia, abuse apologism, rape fetishization....do you think that the second a content creator sits down at their desk and drawing board and goes “okay, but remember, brain, this is for KIDS, think of the kids!” That like.....that content creator suddenly, magically....gets it right? Because its for the kiddies, they’re able to suddenly, like, fucking levitate right over all their own ingrained biases and prejudices and fucked up toxic influences that might spill out unconsciously or consciously if their art was about and for adults....but the mantra ‘its for the children’ just....protects them from all that? Provides sudden, temporary enlightenment where every idea that pops into their brain and emerges through their story is a Right One, a Just One, a Progressive One?

That’s not how that works! That’s not how ANY of this works!

And the most frustrating thing is we all know this!

Why is it, that people who are SO good at calling out an argument as bullshit when they’re IN the discourse, invested, paying attention, putting something on the line.....have no problem snatching up those exact same arguments the second they catch a whiff of a discourse they don’t want to be involved in, or go near, or even entertain (la la la I’m not listening - lol, you’re all dumb, this is a kids’ show, relax, its not that deep)....as though its suddenly, magically, NOT a bullshit argument just because they’re the ones trotting it out because this time, the shoe is on the other foot, and THIS particular discourse makes them uncomfortable for whatever reason?

I get it. The discourse, whatever it is, wherever it is, can be exhausting. Nobody can mire themselves in it 24/7 and not walk away just completely drained. Sometimes we have to check out, take a break, recharge our batteries. Just fucking find something to enjoy. I totally get that.

But the thing is......that thing or that place you go to or look for to recharge in peace and quiet, away from the discourse....it is NEVER inherently going to be discourse free. Never above criticism or recourse. Because no art, no creativity, exists...without coming from the minds of imperfect, flawed human beings who are ALL in our own unique ways, still products of an imperfect, flawed society absolutely RIDDLED with issues and problems we’re all perfectly aware are there. There is NOTHING a product of society can produce, that can not be criticized. Can not be workshopped. Has no room to be MADE BETTER.

Some things get closer than others, sure....or at least some things do, as they relate to us and our personal experiences and beliefs individually. Those are the things we seek out as refuges, the things we don’t have to focus on making better, talking through the flaws that are readily apparent to us, find ways to make something better or more worthwhile out of the rough edges that hurt us when we watch it or consume it, just trying to be entertained or feel better.

But that never means those things are just.....better, overall. That they’re just...above being criticized. That it’s okay to just settle for ‘good enough’ because we ourselves are currently far enough away from whatever rough edges this piece of media has that we either can’t see them at all, or at least like, they’re not actively hurting us.

Just the other people, who came here looking for something to just enjoy too, but can’t get comfortable no matter how much they’d like to, because for whatever reasons, they ARE closer to the rough edges, they’re hurting them or just getting in the way, blocking their view of the movie or show you’re all there to watch.

And like, I’m not trying to pretend that I have all the answers here or tell anyone what to do or how to do it, just.....saying that like, we have to be better at LOOKING for better ways to handle that, that allow us to recharge and abstain from the discourse there, shut it out so we can get what we need from that before charging back in there or elsewhere.....without loudly shouting to everyone complaining about the rough edges “SHUT UP, ITS ALL IN YOUR HEAD, GOD, SOME OF US ARE TRYING TO ENJOY THE SHOW HERE, JEEZ.”

Our enjoyment should not ever require telling people that like......there’s no place here for them to enjoy an inherently flawed piece of media if they can’t like, suck it up and swallow whatever disappointments they have about rough edges that might not be apparent to you from your vantage point, but are just as real as any you’ve complained about in the past, when sitting elsewhere, watching a different show.

We all live in the same fucked up, imperfect society. We all run into stuff that hurts us, gets in our way, makes our daily journeys harder, demands we either suck it up or speak up and ask for some help making smoother sidewalks, clearing clutter out of the way, finding a way around an obstacle.

If we expect to be heard when WE have something in our way or something hurting us, we CAN NOT be content to just....shut down the voices of everyone saying something that makes us uncomfortable or that we think would just take up too much time or energy to deal with and we’re in a hurry to get somewhere, don’t have any energy to spare.

Like, yes, sometimes we legitimately don’t have anything else to give  without actively hurting ourselves, keeping ourselves from getting to an important destination on time, being able to complete our own journey. I’m not saying we owe it to a total stranger to add to our own pain when we’re already hurting and stretched past our limits.

But there’s a difference between acknowledging someone asking for help or confronting what’s clearly an apparent obstacle or hardship for them, while not being able to stop or help because you’ve got other people depending on you or waiting on you or simply do not have the means or resources or spoons to do anything but complete the necessary task or goal you’ve already set yourself towards.....

And like.....raising your own voice to drown theirs out or putting in your earbuds and blasting your music while you rush past them yelling ‘outta my way, I have more important things to do, get a job you lazy bum’ because you feel BAD about not being able to take the time or spend the energy, you maybe feel a little bit guilty, and if there’s a fairly universal human experience, its that nobody really LIKES feeling guilty, it’s one of our more unpleasant emotions, and we tend to look for any way possible to ignore it when it pops up, either with legitimate reason or without.

Again, not saying I KNOW the right way to handle these kinds of scenarios, just that.....the latter is not it, is never it. And yet more often than not, its what too many of us, even those of us yelling the loudest in other discourses perhaps, default to.

Because the other thing is....its not like every criticism out there IS valid. It’s not like everybody to stop in the middle of the street and start making a commotion and making everyone else stop what they’re doing and look what they’re complaining about, what their problem is....

It’s not like there aren’t plenty of times where like....it isn’t genuinely a problem. Where they’re not being HARMED by something, but at most mildly inconvenienced. Faced with a tiny little speedbump that has people who had to stop their own conversations to see what he was yelling about, people who had to pause in the middle of trying to navigate their way around a big five car pile-up blocking their commute, just rolling their eyes at the dude who’s making all that drama, slowing down everyone else’s day, just because he like....wants someone to do something about the little spider he just spotted on his expensive Italian loafers and he’s not even arachnophobic, he just thinks spiders are icky and wants someone to idk....get it off or kill it? Whatever. 

Point being, sometimes there are actually complaints or criticisms that AREN’T worth everyone’s attention, and the person yelling loudly about it is just super privileged and needs to figure out how to deal with not always having things just the way he wants them on his own, nobody can (or should have to) help him with that.

But I mean.....you can only tell that for sure once you’ve actually LOOKED at what his problem is. Heard what it was. And maybe that took just a two second quick glance or an hour for him to get to the bottom of it as he launched into his life story first to make sure you understood just how much he thinks bugs are icky before getting around to saying oh yeah, so there, that’s the problem, see? Icky bug.

But again, like....there’s a difference between feeling like this issue the guy is facing does not merit you taking time and energy away from your own issues to just....make his life marginally less inconvenient.....once you’ve actually given his actual issue some degree of actual consideration.

Versus just.....never actually stopping to listen and blowing past him while laughing with a buddy about what you ASSUME his issue to be based on like....where you’re all standing at the time. Like ‘lol this is a school zone, buddy, its meant for kids and people obviously put tons of time into making sure its all safe and pretty for the kids, so there can’t possibly be anything here that you, a grown adult, should actually be worried about, like whatever you think it is, its not that big a deal.”

And so you just keep on without looking back, laughing about what a dumbass that guy was and so never bothered to notice that the spider he was worrying about was actually deadly as hell, and just because he was the only one to see it at the moment didn’t mean that it couldn’t hurt a kid playing in the park just as easily as him, or that there weren’t a whole nest of similar spiders lurking around and potentially dangerous to all of those kids.

Like. Your priority was not the kids, and it was not whether or not his issue was actually legitimate, it was just whatever you were talking about with your friend that you didn’t want to be distracted from, you were both just having too good a time.

And honestly, like....its not like you’re a terrible person for that, its just.....that’s what it was. That’s what that actual interaction was, and just call it what it was. Not a reason to feel superior because some people just have to manufacture drama wherever they go and can never be happy, not even when something is meant for kids.

And while giving someone’s criticism the proper consideration before accepting it as valid or dismissing it as irrelevant, like...while that can look like a ton of different things?

If you can take the exact argument you used to dismiss or shut down that criticism you heard, switch out a few names and details without changing the structure or context of either the argument or the criticism....

and suddenly, you’re looking at the exact same bullshit argument you’ve seen people use to shut down YOUR criticisms, just when talking about different characters or a different, adult show?

Whatever you gave that criticism you heard here, it was probably not the proper consideration.

[speakmuzik]

Follow @muzik_speaks   Tweet to @muzik_speaks

On Wednesday 25th October 2017, the massive post-Britpop band, Starsailor (interview with James Walsh coming soon!) arrived in Brighton on their All This Life Tour in support of their latest album, All This Life. The band put on one heck of a high-energy show, packed to the brim with many of their hits as well as tracks from their new album. They were supported by Paradisia and Tom Speight.

Tom Speight

This singer-songwriter was an interesting performer with a well-crafted sound – apparently he had recently been writing with James Walsh (of Starsailor). His lyrics were meaningful and the addition of a backing singer (complete with shakers!) added a nice diversity to his live performance (instead of the often uninspiring, “guy with a guitar” sound). He and his backing singer had clearly spent a lot of time rehearsing as their vocals were very tight. The only thing which struck me as slightly odd is that considering he is a solo performer, he gave quite a bit of time to his backing singer to take lead vocals; more than you might expect, however there was a certain depth to his performance.

Highlight: Tom entering the crowd with just his backing singer and his guitar to perform a song, unplugged, in the centre of the audience was definitely a highlight and quite a unique performance idea.

Paradisia

From the moment you see a harp on stage, your interest is instantly peaked – not many bands use one, so it was something quite unique from the offset. This trio of ladies didn’t disappoint either; they are remarkably talented musicians, songwriters and performers. Their songwriting style was incredibly individual and their vocal abilities were simply stunning – to harmonise the way they did, takes a lot of practise. The only criticism I had was the lead singer’s sincerity when talking to the crowd and expressing their excitement to be there, or lack thereof – I heard others make comments about this too. However, that aside, I was utterly enthralled throughout their set and have spent time listening to them since – they are undoubtedly fantastic!

Highlight: The perfection with which the trio performed their vocal harmonies was a stunning thing to behold and I highly recommend anyone to check them out. Regardless of your taste in music, anyone can and will appreciate this band’s pure talent and the hard work they clearly put into perfecting their live performances.

Starsailor

The crowd erupted with massive applause as the band’s intro music blared through the PA system…and from there the volume only got louder – both the audience’s screams as the band appeared on stage and the band themselves as they began to play! Undoubtedly, this was one of the loudest shows I’ve ever been to (in fact two days later and I still have a very faint ringing in my ears).

Starsailor are clearly very professional at what they do – they’ve been in the business for over 15 years and toured the world – their set was flawless. They have clearly mastered their live performances, getting the right balance between not talking too much between songs (as sometimes happens with some bands) and playing a good ratio of new and old material. The audience were delighted to hear a string of the band’s biggest hits, including; ‘Alcoholic’, ‘Poor Misguided Fool’, ‘Four To The Floor’ and ‘Good Souls’ as well as some tracks from their new album, such as; ‘Listen To Your Heart’, ‘All This Life’ and ‘FIA (F**k It All)’.

Some of the standout performances for me, were: ‘Listen To Your Heart’ – as the band took to the stage, they made a massive impact on their audience straight away; ‘Take A Little Time’ which although I wasn’t overly familiar with it, was both catchy and a brilliant song to dance to – I’ve actually had it on repeat since the show; ‘Four To The Floor’ which had everyone pumped up and singing along and ‘Silence Is Easy’ as this track is just a real belter – the band played a slightly heavier version than the one they released but my god it was good!

The crowd loved every second of this show and I did too – the passion in the band’s performance and the vigour of the audience made it a truly special evening – one to remember. I highly recommend watching this band live; they will not disappoint…just make sure you bring earplugs – they’re LOUD!

Highlights:

The genuine, appreciative grin that occasionally spread across James Walsh‘s face every now and then – clearly showed he was grateful to be there and was enjoying the crowd.

James Stelfox‘s facial interactions with the audience were hilarious.

The high-energy impact and faultless nature of their set was remarkable – it was a truly special show to behold.

James Walsh asking the names of three fans at the front of the crowd who’d sung along to every word and danced without a care in the world, and then dedicating a song to them was a lovely touch of appreciation.

I liked Barry Westhead‘s use of different keyboards for different tracks – there was a great diversity with him switching between piano sounds on one keyboard and an organ.

📷 All of the photos in this post are credited to Damon Peirce 📷 Go and give him a follow on Instagram and Twitter.

Setlist

Listen To Your Heart Alcoholic Poor Misguided Fool All This Life Take A Little Time Crossfire Lullaby Blood Fever Sunday Best Caught In The Middle Tie Up My Hands Best Of Me Tell Me It’s Not Over Four To The Floor Silence Is Easy*

Encore FIA (F**k It All) Good Souls

* This song can be viewed on YouTube, below.

Finally, I want to say a BIG thanks to Rob Kerford from Sonic PR for setting up this review and interview with James Walsh from the band and to Starsailor themselves for putting on an incredible show and taking the time to talk to me.

Matt – Muzik Speaks www.facebook.com/muzikspeaks www.twitter.com/muzik_speaks

@Starsailorband's show at @concorde_2 was sensational! w/@paradisiaband & @TomSpeightMusic RT Follow @muzik_speaks   Tweet to @muzik_speaks On Wednesday 25th October 2017, the massive post-Britpop band, Starsailor (interview with…

[writing-banana-blog]

Common Room

It was the last day before most of your fellow students made the long departure home for the Christmas Holidays, and it would be an understatement to say you were simply relieved. At the moment, you were sitting in the Common Room of the Gryffindor house, playing with your wand and conjuring birds. Since the start of term in September, all your professors had down was give you homework until you were swimming in it up to your neck, and lecturing you until they were blue in the face. Their reasoning was the exam at the end of this year, your fifth, called the OWLs. The OWLs were the Ordinary Wizarding Level exam that every fifth year at Hogwarts School of Wizardry and Witchcraft had to take in order to determine their schedule for the next year.

The professors were considerably more concerned about this horrid exam than a majority of the students were, your best friends, and presumably, yourself included. Your best friends, James, Sirius, Remus and Peter, were so sure that they’d do wonderful, that, if their actual entire grade didn’t depend on it, they wouldn’t do the homework the professors drowned the students in. The boys were still the same goofy, unbearably annoying, jerks they were last year and the year before. You loved them, but they were difficult.

You, on the other hand, were so worried about the exam that it literally made you ill. You’d been carried to Madame Pomfrey in the Hospital Wing several times for a fever, and a stress-induced flu. The thought made you upset, and you stopped conjuring birds, and rather stared into the fire aimlessly. You hadn’t told the boys how worried you were, as you doubted they’d understand. None of them had blood purity extremists for parents. None of their parents pressured them into joining a certain rising dark wizard as soon as physically possible - which to them was now.

The man and women you called Mother and Father were so hard on you about your exams, that you were absolutely terrified to fail them. They had, after all, received nearly perfect scores on their OWLs and NEWTs - Nastily Exhausting Wizarding Test - with the exception of Muggle Studies, where they each scored Acceptable. Not only did they pressure you into studying until your eyes fell out, but they constantly made it a point that they’d be disappointed if you failed any of your exams, even Divination. You were terrified of the consequences. After all, they had just disowned your older brother, Nicolas, for getting the only job he wanted - owning a Muggle hotel.

You weren’t aware of how harsh the parents of the oldest friend of your’s were. Sirius Black never spoke about his family or home life, so you assumed - incorrectly - that everything was moderately okay.

“So, Y/N, you going home tomorrow?” You jumped as that exact boy plopped down onto the couch next to you. Placing your hand over your heart as if it would calm it down, you shook your head. “Why not?”

“I’d rather not be anywhere near my parents right now. I have enough on my plate,” You didn’t realize what you said until a few moments after you did. You were incredibly tired, and so very stressed, you hadn’t realized that you were speaking the truth until the truth was out, and Sirius raised an eyebrow. You groaned as James and Remus came down the stairs like baboons. Attempting to avoid the topic as long as possible, you asked “Where’s Peter?”

Neither of the two that had just arrived answered, they simply looked at each other and then at Sirius, who had draped his arm around your shoulder. Catching on, you turned scarlet and scooted a good two feet away from Mr. Black, giving James and Remus the deadliest glare you could.

They just laughed and went on their way towards where ever they were going, leaving you with Mr. Nosey.

“Okay, Sirius, buddy, see ya later-” You tried to dash away, but the nearly six-foot boy grabbed you by the waist and pulled you down onto his lap. You let out a small, short shriek and slapped his arm that was around your waist. “Sirius!”

“What do you mean you would rather stay here than go home? You have enough on your plate?” Sirius began to inquire immediately. You turned even redder and frowned at him, crossing your arms over your chest. You were incredibly uncomfortable, and the entire scenario terrified you. You were not ready for this kind of confrontation. You were absolutely not ready to tell any of the boys, especially Sirius.

“Nothing,” You immediately snipped at him. Despite how much you adored Sirius, your only defense against this downpour of suspicion from Sirius was to throw a wall of defense up, and become a bit on the side of snippy. “Nothing at all.”

You could tell that Sirius didn’t believe you, but you hoped he’d drop the subject for now. Whether he picked it back up or not later, you didn’t care at the time. You just wanted him to leave it alone for now.

“You’re lying, Y/N. Please tell me, you and I both know I’m as honest as can be with you, but you don’t return it. Aren’t I your favorite?” Sirius said, giving you his best ‘I’m here for you’ look. You sigh and look at him. His dark brown eyes met yours and it became harder for you to breath. He held your gaze fiercely, and wasn’t backing down. He was stubborn, but so were you.

And then he cheated. As soon as you narrowed your eyes defiantly, his eyes widened innocently, and he puckered his bottom lip out. The pout was undoubtedly your biggest weakness and Sirius knew it. You tried your best to withstand, but as he continued to pout, even making himself look sad, guilt clawed at you. You knew he just wanted to make you feel better, yet there you were, denying his sympathy. You tried to be strong, but Sirius was more stubborn, and a complete cheat.

“I never told you guys, but my parents are trying to pursued me to join that quack Lord-Whatever-It-Is. The one obsessed with blood-status,” Sirius nodded to confirm he knew who you meant, as you continued. “They disowned Nicolas over summer due to his now ownership of that Muggle hotel. Mother and Father are not only pressuring me into becoming a dark witch, but they’re adding on to the already crippling stress for the OWLs by reminding me in every letter that they scored perfectly, and that I am expected to do the same. I can’t be around them - it’s too much. They’re too much.”

You finished with a sigh and looked away from Sirius. Your heart ached at the truth, and you knew he’d only pity you. Shame began to wash over you in waves, and you began to doubt yourself. You shouldn’t have told him about your stress, and you definitely shouldn’t have told him so much about that dark wizard and Nicolas. You felt horrible, not for never telling him before, but for telling him at all.

James and Remus came babbling through the portrait hole again, and you went to jump off of Sirius, but he - once again - forced you onto his lap. The two boys were trailed by Peter, who was nervously twitching as always. Remus and James looked at you, and then at Sirius, before turning to each other and laughing. You frowned and tucked your hands under your arms, glaring at them. Remus was the first to acknowledge the deathly glare, and his brown eyes widened. As soon as James noticed, his hazel eyes widened just as big and he gulped.

“Don’t hex us!” James shouted while grabbing Remus and darting back up the stairs into the dorms. They trampled up the stairs and you could hear the door slam. Someone opened it back up and shouted - “Peter!”

The shorter, much chubbier and mouse-like, boy ran after his other two friends before turning and giving Sirius and you a big smile. Peter clambered up the stairs clumsily, tripping once before getting to the top. The door shut again and you could hear their laughter; James’ being the loudest.

You turned back to Sirius and tried to look innocent. “I guess I can go now.” You spoke softly, and yet, his eyebrows furrowed as if you’d hurt his feelings. The look of sadness that flitted through his expression saddened you. You only wanted to make Sirius happy.

“Y/N, I understand how you feel,” Sirius spoke softly, tightening his grip on you. “About your parents, I mean. Mine are… unbelievably oppressive and nearly disowned me for being sorted into Gryffindor. The Nobel House of Black is a family of mostly Slytherin, ya know. They were disappointed. They never liked me to begin with, I was too 'rebellious’, but my Sorting just hammered the nail into my coffin. I’ve gotten used to it, but it still bothers me. Of course, I can’t say the same about being pressured about everything, but they’ve said, many times, that I’d redeem myself if I joined Lord What’s-His-Face. You’re not alone, Y/N, and I don’t want you to ever deal with this by yourself again. I’m here for you, I promise. That’s what best friends are for anyway, isn’t it?”

Your heart both broke and swelled with relief. He wasn’t going to shower you with pity and countless 'you can be yourself’s. You smiled at him gently, and leaned forward, wrapping your arms around his neck and nuzzling into his hair. Sirius chuckled gently and tightened his arms around your back, squeezing you ever so gently, but still firmly.

“I guess having horrid families is just another thing we have in common, isn’t it?”

**********

Note - this is my first little thing here on Tumblr!!! Yay!

It was a Sirius thing with the reader who’s parents suck. The whole title is a play on the fact they have sucky parents in Common and their in the common room.

I hope you guys liked it!!

Love~