#and it's cause i kinda felt like what's the point I'm not a great artist

[daftpatience]

YEAH YEAY OKAY! here we go! welcome to i get to infodump about pens again, yay yippee!

what's the difference between ballpoints, rollerballs, and gel pens?

ballpoints, rollerballs, and gel pens all use a ball-socket mechanism that continuously coats itsself in ink as it rolls across a page. what makes them all different from each other is in the ink composition!!

ballpoint pens have an oil based ink paste. the ink is very thick & requires more pressure to write with, and can get kinda skippy as the tip gets dirty or clogged, but is able to stick to many more surfaces like receipts, plastic, really shitty paper, etc. it can be hard to wash out of things that you get it on, since it's more waterproof than other inks.

one of the neat things about this type of ink is that you're able to shade with it by varying pressure. lots of artists make great use of this!

hybrid or low viscosity ballpoint ink is often just ballpoint ink with an added lubricant to make it write smoother and flow better.

rollerball pens use water based inks. fountain pens, felt tip pens*, and dip pens all usually use water based inks. because of this, rollerballs are very free flowing and rarely clog, but paper choice is more important and some folks can find them to be leaky or overly wet. the writing experience is not as glidey as a gel/ballpoint since the ink is not thick, but it doesn't need a heavy hand. rollerballs enjoy more colour options than ballpoints and can have very dark blacks, but aren't waterproof unless the ink is pigment based instead of dye based. *felt tip pens feel very different than any of the other pens on this list cause of the soft point, they put out ink in a very even and somewhat dry way, and can also use alcohol inks, like copic markers. alcohol inks soak very deep into the page and dry very fast, and blend very differently. i'm not as familiar with them!

gel pens use inks that are made of pigment suspended in a water based gel. these inks tend to be very thick and put out a wet line that takes a longer time to dry. gel pens are most likely to clog and skip due to this, since the ball is not as evenly coated in a substance so thick. gel pens do have the widest colour options and can be fully opaque (ie. pastels, whites, etc) but are often very frustrating as they clog up and get old and dried out.

as a bonus, true technical pens are a whole different kind of beast and have very specific standardized nib sizes and colours. cad software has largely replaced the need for extremely precise technical drawing, but artists still like pens like the rapidograph! they're made differently everywhere but generally, instead of a ball, there is a small tube of a precise diameter with a little wire inside it that controls the ink flow. they can't be held at a lot of angles and aren't as versatile as other pens, but they put down incredibly crisp lines.

yippee yay pens!! wahoo!!

[violeteclipseboaty]

So I recently went to go watch KOTPOTA again. I wanted to share my thoughts overall on the film, I couldn't properly do it before because I had forgotten some stuff lol

The pacing: at first watch I though it was kinda weird but watching it again I realized it pretty much went straight to the point, if anything I wanted MORE but you know the movie would've been too long but I wouldn't have minded either way. I mean, I've watched the Avatar and Harry Potter movies, so yeah I could've handled that lol

I really like the environment they set up with the eagle clan; their culture, their tradition with the eggs, and their bond with the eagles. I hope we get to see more details in the next movie.

The cinematography was amazing, they really nailed it. The sceneries were outstanding. A lot of that stuff reminded me back to Rise, back when it was filled with human life, now sadly the structures are abandoned and overtaken by nature but look pretty either way. The action scenes omg were so engaging and just done so well.

Let's talk about the main characters:

Noa: Great character. He's curious, smart, brave, and compassionate. I know a lot of people wanted him to be Caesar's descendant but i didnt really care about that. I'm excited where his next journey will take us if they have the chance to make a sequel (please 🙏) I'm pretty sure at the end of the film, Noa now has a new view of the world he lives in and now questioning his entire existence lol

Raka: loved him!! I really like how he truly understood what Caesar stood for. I did notice some things he believed were wrong lol but he's got the spirit and would lighten up the mood after what happened with Noa's clan. He's got a good heart, he sacrificed himself for Mae despite knowing her for a very short amount of time after all. Also I refuse to believe he's dead so there's that also and I hope he comes back to guide both Mae and Noa onto the path for the coexistence of both apes and humans.

Soona: I really wish we could've gotten more scenes with her, but I really like her. She's brave, sweet, and a ride or die for both Noa and Anaya. I hope we get to see her more in the next film

Anaya: yall already know cause I made a seperate post lol but loved him and I wish we had more scenes with him as well! I felt so bad for him when we see him again with Proximus, he's been through enough!

Proximus: he was a great villian and I did not like him, which is good! Not all villians need a sad backstory, this dude was clearly only hungry for power. He was twisting Caesar's words, enslaving other apes, killing humans, and wanted access to technology capable of bringing destruction and chaos. He's smart and knows how to be resourceful. I find it funny that he was talking smack about humans yet his way of thinking and actions are similar to the bad side of humanity. I only wish we could've gotten more scenes with him; he was underused and I thought he would have a much bigger role based on the trailers, but I enjoyed his presence overall.

Mae: I've already made a seperate post about her character and I still sorta feel the same way about her. Rewatching it again, I got to sympathize more with her situation. She's a survivor who clearly grew up and was taught misinformation about apes, but after meeting Raka and bonding with Noa; i truly believe she'll come around and change her mind. I believe in her, and I hope we get to see her again and get more of her backstory to understand her better.

The movie was great. The plot, visuals, and acting were so well done. I took about 5 years for them to work on this, and it SHOWS. Their dedication shows that when enough time is given; movies that involve CGI can be done properly. I'm sick of projects being crunched and the visuals ending up looking like 💩 because the teams/artists aren't appreciated enough. I definitely recommend watching at least twice, and I pray for a sequel.

[magknightidv]

hello sweetie! :D

i see that you want to write about descendants and i would absolutely love to share some requests i've been thinking about.

idk if you write ficlets, headcannons or oneshots, so you can write in the way you feel more comfortable! :)

so, the thing is, uma and harry (separately) x artist!reader (gn please!!) where the reader draw and write music and poetry about their lover/crush. i just want to see how they would react if they seen the readers art bcs i think it would be soooooo cute!

(im so sorry if you can't understand something, english isn't my first language.)

take care of yourself. love u!!

I love this so so much! thank you!

Hope this doesn't end up being too bad, I feel it was a little rushed (not because I felt I was being rushed just that I had a few thoughts that I needed to write before they were gone yk?)

I'm doing it so it's:

Harry Hook x painter/drawer!reader

And

Uma x music artist! Reader

To make it easier to imagine

Also I've kept it gender neutral dw and I've also written it so Uma and Harry are in Auradon when they meet you

Please feel free to request more at any point (I'm going to write for all descendants characters but mostly Harry Hook)

----------------------

Harry Hook

Let's imagine Harry has no idea who you are in the beginning

Some random person that's always seen drawing, painting, creating something.

He's seen some of your works hung around Auradon prep in expensive looking frames

He doesn't approach you for a while, in fact Gil is the first to meet you

Gil takes the same art course as you so you meet there when Gil had a bit of a paint disaster

Harry was originally cautious around you because he thought you'd be some stuck up art critique kind of person who was going to complain about Gil

But when you instead explain that you could see what he was trying to do but the actual execution of it wasn't great , Harry laughed with you

Overall your first meet was a positive one that was the beginning of a laughter filled relationship

Harry would always see you sat somewhere, in some weird position, scribbling away in your sketchbook

He eventually spots what you are drawing, or better yet who.

Him

He crashes.

All thoughts, Gone.

He's just staring at it for a good 5 minutes before you have to click your fingers in front of his face to wake him up.

"H- How, no, why are ye drawin' meh?" Heat rises to his cheeks and he slowly brings his thoughts back to Earth.

He'd already had been developing feelings for you since you two met. I mean you were nice to his friends, kind to him, he let you meet his sisters at one point and they seemed to even like you. You are fun to be around, you check that he's taking care of himself, you make sure he's not too bashed up from the sports he plays. What isn't there to like?

"You have a pretty face, nice to draw." He takes note of the blush that grows on your cheeks and the way you look off to the side with a shy smile growing. "I draw the people I like, the people I'm closest to."

His heart almost stops. Did you just try to kill him?! 'cause clearly you aren't aware of the way you make him feel.

I headcannon Harry to be Pansexual, as a pan person myself, so he was kinda well known on the Isle for being able to flirt with anyone he wanted for various reasons

But let me tell you, not once had he had the air knocked out of his chest from a few simple words.

You take his silence the wrong way and begin packing your things to go find somewhere to wallow in your shame, but Harry just drops to his knees in front of you.

"Please, draw meh, whenever ye want to." He is on his knees looking at you with the happiest smile he can muster and almost puppy like wonder in his eyes. "I'll be yours, if you'll be mine?"

Okay that bit came out a little too easy to him, he didn't really mean for that to happen.

But he can't complain since you agreed!

Everything you create for him, he treats like it's the most fragile item he's ever come in contact with

He's always showing it off though he's so appreciative of everything you do so he wants to show the entire world

When you feel down for not feeling your art is good enough, he's oddly prepared to show every bit of art you've ever given him with reasons on what makes it perfect to him

He may as well be prepared with a PowerPoint presentation on every one of your works he's seen

I fact he's probably prepared one somewhere, pictures, effects, transitions, the whole shebang!

He draws too, almost forgot to mention. I've got a little headcanon of him always doodling pirates on cool adventures when he was younger on the isle. I also like to imagine that there was a time where Evie and Harry liked to draw together but Evie drew Princesses and dress designs and Harry drew pirates which created some childish clashing between the two. So they'd stopped almost as soon as they started their little doodle hangouts

That's offtrack, sorry.

He gives you pictures of you in multiple different styles, each time it seems like he's trying to depict you as an angel of sorts

He also draws the Uma and the crew but he comes to check that he got everyone right with you

ART DATES.

YOU'RE GOING TO ALL THE MOST AESTHETICALLY PLACES HE CAN FIND

He may or may not let you take pictures of him for references as long as he can do the same with you, he's also pretty good at photography so he loves getting new picture of you with some fantastical background making you stand out so much more

Uma

Uma knew who you were when she arrived in Auradon, she'd heard your music played at cotillion

She couldn't complain about it, it wasnt her usual style but it was new and she liked that

When she had officially arrived she would notice you all around

Playing music for parties, proper events, even just around the school

Despite her not meeting you she subconsciously finds her way to you

She listens out for you whenever she can

She ends up actually meeting you thought Evie

Evie was designing everyone's outfits for a party so your fitting time overlapped into Uma's time. Uma didn't mind and in fact took the opportunity to tell you that she'd heard you around but hadn't had the chance to meet you

From then, you became quick friends.

Her feelings developed the more time she spent with you, she just loves listening to your music

She'd like to learn an instrument that would compliment your style of music so you could play together

She helps you with lyrics whenever you need the help

She first finds out that you write songs about your experiences and the people around you by looking at the lyrics for some of your songs

She finds it sweet that although you don't directly mention people, you can share the way you feel to them to those who will listen

But then she finds a song that's for her

I mean who else would it be for, she's the person you spend most of your time with and she's the pretty pirate with blue hair

She definitely looks over the lyrics and gets so giddy that she's kicking her feet with glee, when you walk in and see her smiling at the page she doesn't stop smiling

She immediately asks what you mean and when you tell her she latches onto you

Basically, she asks you out right then and there

Who are you to deny her? Of course you accept

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ♫ ⋅.} ───── ⊰

So sorry it took longer than I thought, and sorry Uma's part was shorter thats my dumb lil brain being dumb

[i-like-anything-water]

Hello I-Like-Anything-Water! I'm respecting your privacy by knocking, but am too impatient to wait for permission and am coming in anyway! (Breaks door down with a battering ram)

Glad to see from you again! Hope school's treating you well. I have returned with more CHLOENETTE!!

I posted this a few other places, but was curious about your thoughts on it: The Scene starts with Rose inspecting a present someone left on her desk, wondering what's inside... only for it to blast open and smash a pie into her face, the sound of cruel laughter coming from behind her. She turns her head to see Marinette and Chloe, both decked out in gold, and asks why Marinette became so mean. Marinette's answer? "Because someone needs to keep little losers like you in their place!" Before moving in to kiss her girlfriend... and then Marinette wakes up screaming, wondering why she dreamed of dating Chloe of all people... and why the thought of being so cruel felt so right.

Meanwhile, across town, Chloe is experiencing a dream of her own. One in which she's no longer rich, and isn't particularly famous. One where she spends most of her days either keeping the house in good condition or helping her in-laws run the bakery. A simple life with a loving family, when her wife, Marinette walks through the door... carrying their daughter in her arms. She moves in to pull her wife into a kiss... and wakes up, blushing bright enough to be seen from space, and instantly going into denial that she would EVER want to be with Dupain-Cheng OR give up her wealth and influence... no matter how at home she felt in that little shop in her dreams.

To make a long story short, my thought is that both Marinette and Chloe are crushing hard on each other, in denial, and would gladly throw away their current lives if it meant being with the other. What do you think?

Hello! School is still a pain and my toothache isn't helping but it's alright, ask as much as you want. My doors are pretty much open at this point xD

I think that's what makes Chloenette my favorite ship in the series. They won't throw away all the life they built away (technically) but they would want to do everything that hey can to build a future for them.

Marinette growing a more firm and decisive backbone due to Chloé's influence is pretty much accepted within the chloenette fandom and I personally think it's great. Despite her growth (canonically...there still is) I don't see why she can't be a bit more aggressive in situations. Plus it's funny when Mari's being mean but also feeling kinda bad but satisfied later and Chloé's just proud and smug. 'That's my girl.'

Chloé Bourgeois, former heiress turned commoner found strolling Paris's park with up and coming fashion designer Marinette Dupain-Cheng.

I don't know if y'all have read the fics, but Tacomuerte's stories 'Best Frenemies' and 'Divided Loyalties' are one of the best portrayal of Chloé slowly settling down with Mari's lifestyle and Mari with Chloé's. Chloé is artistic (a bit perfectionist in a way as well) and I can definitely see her fussing and making sure all of the pastries are decorated to the tiniest of details and that every box doesn't have a single speck of dirt or crumpled. Baking also requires physical exertion especially in large orders so that's one way for her to let out some steam without causing an akuma xD.

They grew up with different backgrounds but I can see them having multiple common grounds aside from Fashion. One of them is their devotion and loyalty to people they like (in Chloé's case, people she genuinely respects and looks up to) which can get pretty aggressive and sometimes obsessive (obsessive chloenette is a fave).

Basically, yeah, I can see them doing a lot of unexpected things just to be together and to build a future they both want and need.

[zoobus]

With One Day Left I'll Break All the Destruction Flags: "Serves You Right!" RTA 24 Hour Record

Fun concept, middling payoff. Villainess "wakes up" 24 hours before her condemnation and fights it with everything she has.

Always the most fun to write about: The Bad

I'm never a fan of isekais that give any weight to divine right of kings, especially when we've established this character is from a modern day democratic country.

Oh nooo, would the heroine winning mean the next king would have commoner blood? A low pedigree? Tell me why I should give a fuck ms. office worker who died renting a studio apartment.

I know they were holding this artist back from drawing wrinkles on these milfs. I can feel it in my blood.

otoisekais looooove to punish reincarnators for playing the fucking game as intended. like oh here's a reverse harem route but if you take it, everypony will beat you with hammers which you will deserve you greedy breeding sow. If you want a reverse harem, burn in hell. Can we stop slut shaming women already? So sick of harem-hate as a norm! If it was an option in the game, it should be an option for the reincarnator, get over yourself.

In general, the OG heroine is little more than a punching bag for the women to take turns denouncing. She's self-centered and thoughtless, sure, but (in my mind) she had no malicious intent until she realized how dire the situation was - she's just playing the game! If you're familiar with the term "white lotus," I wouldn't even call her that. The route she targeted is even one where the villainess survives and befriends the heroine (the villainess is viscerally repulsed by the idea, which is funny). She says something upsetting/hypocritical, but as far as we know, that's what her character is supposed to say! Now, they kinda-sorta rationalize that her ho-tendencies have the potential to destabilize the country, but it's also clear her #1 crime is man-eating. You sound like a hater 2 me.

After 24 hours of setup, of theft, manipulation, buying people off, food-tampering, and string-pulling, the actual condemnation ends up pretty lackluster. To an extent, that's the conceit, to ensure beyond a shadow of a doubt the condemnation fails. Even so, the remaining points of contention are either generic ones you've seen dozens of times:

or are given super weak rebuttals - in what universe do you confirm you paid thugs to beat up your classmate and escape punishment because a) the thugs were unsuccessful and b) you only did it because you were jealous? I know the world hates women who fuck, but it's crazy how one of them committed an actual crime and got off with a mere apology and you're supposed to nod along like that makes sense. "I apologized, what more do you want" - add that zinger to your next legal defense.

The Mid

I wanted to like that the villainess was angered more by the idea of befriending the harlot who stole her man than she was the idea of execution, but it didn't hit for me, nor did the other insinuations of her being a fr villainess rather than a good girl with spilling cleavage. Perhaps because the story blends her antagonist motives in with the indignant rebukes of intelligent noble ladies with refined countenances and even fiercer eyes.

And while I'm a big fan of the cold, fierce eyes of women committed to her ideals, I was ambivalent about their ideals absorbing "the heroine is an annoying slut and will cause the empire to crumble." A sincere villainess who makes no apologies for her behavior endears me, but writers continually ruin it by looking for justifications for that behavior.

Similar feelings about assassin-boy's end. On paper, I like that kind of callousness. In execution (lol), it felt sort of hollow. What's the tone of this outcome, what am I supposed to feel? Not bad, but could have been stronger.

I guess you have to have romance in these things. This one was there.

The Great

Love loooooved the twist. This was the best plot conclusion and made the whole thing worth it.

Did the Reincarnator deserve this? Hell no. Which made it even more delicious! This is the kind of unjust cruelty I'm here for! She really unlocked the insane yandere bad end for the offense of being herself.

Art was nice and dare I say I wish it was more common to draw normal athlete muscles like this instead of the popular hyper shredded dehydrated infinity obliques aesthetic? It just looks better.

In the end, it's easier to remember the bad than the good, so obviously the critique ratio here is waaaay off. This was a fine, but suffers from a few of my OI pet peeves.

[therevengeoffrankenstein]

my 2024 reading wrapped.

in 2024, i actually set a reading goal since i felt like i didn't read enough in 2023, or, at the very least, i read less than i would normally. so i set myself an initial goal of 12 books, one for each month, and quickly reached it. then 15, 20, and 25. i reached 25 exactly!

this is me counting down some of my favorite books i read in 2024, and a couple of least favorites, too. plus a most read authors graph at the end bc i love charts and graphs.

under cut.

-

books read: 25, equaling 4793 pages, according to the storygraph.

-

top ten best books, loosely ordered:

on the road by jack kerouac (my rating: 4.5-5/5).

i too am kind of in love with dean moriarty.

the dharma bums by jack kerouac (my rating: 4.5-5/5).

pretty much where i'm at in life atm.

none of this rocks by joe trohman (my rating: 4.5/5).

sometimes joe's self-deprecation is more saddening or tedious than funny, but it's still a deeply funny and touching autobiography throughout. i was prepared for the heavier subject matter, but g-d. it still hits so hard.

fall out toy works #3 by pete wentz and co. (my rating: 4.5/5).

genuinely beautiful.

lady windemere's fan by oscar wilde (my rating: 4.5/5).

honestly wasn't expecting this one to sweep me off my feet like it did? so funny and so relevant, still, today.

the boy with the thorn in his side by pete wentz (my rating: 4.5/5).

beautifully grotesque art and beautifully grotesque story.

genuinely unsettling and disturbing. it's been a while since anything had really scared me like this one did. (the doctor character is what scared me, iymk.)

pete takes this insecure tone throughout that is. very understandable and relatable, from one artist to another, when dealing with such personal subject matter. i don't think i can rate it negatively or ax off any points for that, but it is worthy of note since i feel like it's part of the experience of this book to be discomfited by him while reading it.

while i do appreciate the raw (read: unedited) vibe of this book, some of the grammatical errors took me out a little at times.

fall out toy works #5 by pete wentz and co. (my rating: 4.5/5).

like much of this series, a bit hard to follow at times (and that is coming from me, the king of nonsense and openendedness), but that kinda works in favor of the setting/universe.

i love tiffany.

the importance of being earnest by oscar wilde (my rating: 4.5/5).

this book had me ROLLING !!!!

genuinely love how everything wrapped up here.

so mecore all around i love causing my own problems.

fall out toy works #1 by pete wentz and co. (my rating: 4.5/5).

the first couple pages are just really well done.

great introduction to a series i all-around really love.

sailor moon, vol. 2 by naoko takeuchi (my rating: 4/5).

beautiful art.

i think i prefer the manga to the anime? the manga is a bit more serious/dramatic and romantic and i really dig that for these characters.

-

worst books of the year:

i only have two picks for my worst books of 2024 since these were the only two that i rated lower than a 3.5/5.

mexican gothic by silvia moreno-garcia (my rating: 2.5/5 (just barely)).

i say with zero exaggeration that this is one of the most frustrating, boring slogs i've ever had the displeasure of sitting through. instead of wasting my time again, here's my full review.

star wars: aftermath (#1) by chuck wendig (my rating: light 3/5).

i picked this up because pw showed it off in a video (not necessarily an endorsement, i know, but i was already contemplating giving it a go and that was the push i needed) and i want to make fun of him/talk with him about it now. has he even read it or did he just happen to have it with him at the time. i don't know. i know i am insane.

so slow. the first chapter was alright and then it just gets so fucking boring and unfunny. i get that it's trying to build tension and flesh things out, but it doesn't do either of those things especially well, either, so it just feels like a big waste of time.

act 3 was actually pretty great and fun! took it long enough, but it finally did get good!

tries so hard to be funny. the colloquial 'star wars-y' language here is mostly just grating. i have such a high tolerance for sw bullshit but this felt like the author is trying to be a star wars nerd instead of just is being a star wars nerd. it made me laugh less than three times and made me groan probably closer to fifty times.

i did really like the ex-imperial dude (of course) and was rooting somewhat for the rag-tag squad by the end. most of the characters (eventually) held my attention.

i get it, he's only 15 years. but that little teenage boy is a major cunt. this book occasionally does succeed, later on, at making me feel for him but g-d. i hated following this kid for most of the book. i'm not even talking, really, about how he treats his mother. his attitude in general was just frustrating as fuck to be forced to sit through to get to the better characters.

-

my most read authors, according to the storygraph (aka my formal diagnosis):

pete wentz won with a unit of seven, clocking in five units ahead of the runners up. i really like him.

[maximuswolf]

Forspoken got a bad deal. (Quick review)

Forspoken got a bad deal. (Quick review) The game is actually pretty good.Writing: 6Acting: 7.5Gameplay: 8Art design: 9Visuals: 8.5Length: 7I didn't buy this game cause it was touted as being a complete clusters*ck, the. This week I saw it on playstation plus and thought to look what the fuss was all about when it released.This game got review bombed to oblivion but honestly I got duped by the general sentiment at the time and I'm now certain many of the bad reviews were done by people who never got far into the game if they played it at all.The game looks great and the art direction was fantastic, the landscapes are amazing as is the architectural design. Some very good artists worked on this.The gameplay is fast and although it can get overwhelming switching spells once you get the hang of it and have a lot of spells available it's awesome. I don't like the upgrade system of gear as its to dependant on gathering huge amounts of resources which is kinda a grind. Difficulty is a bit to easy on normal and you easily overlevel.The game story feels a bit short but I haven't played after the credits yet and I've definitely not explored all there is to see. That said, story with a bit of sidetracking took me 20 hours to complete so maybe it felt short but it's not necessarily too short in practice. I recommend playing on hard on the first playthrough.The writing wasn't the best but also wasn't nearly as bad as the many cherry picked and edited togheter clips I saw around on release made me believe. There is good character development and good character interaction, the actors did a good job even if the writing wasn't fantastic. The world building could have used a bit of s bigger scope as now its focused solely around the plot and the world and its traditions are left to the imagination.I give the overal game a 7.5/10, definitely worth it at something like a 30-40 dollar price point. It's free on PS+ now and I recommend you all pick it up on that if you haven't already.As a final thought I think it's a shame we are unlikely to see a sequel as this game was a great base to build upon. The internet killed another game frsnchise by wat of populistic hatred and culture war and its a damn shame. Submitted December 21, 2024 at 08:16AM by Rent_A_Cloud https://ift.tt/gAdkw18 via /r/gaming

[beautiful-excuses]

Our society is so obsessed with productivity and success that, without even realizing it, I've started to feel like it's not worth it to put my time and effort into things unless they correspond to those values. Which is...so stupid?? No I'm never going to be a great artist but why should that stop me from drawing? Sure there's no productivity or success in that but it makes me happy. The end goal of productivity and success is happiness but I feel like we kind of forget that? Like if I'm happy sitting here doodling, that's great. Not everything has to be related to your long-term plans for success or whatever. You're allowed to do things for no other reason than that they make you happy

[the-sinful-voice-witch]

All right! It's time to talk about Sonamy and it's future:

Ok in past posts i already stated how badly Amy's potential was wasted in general and how it affected her relationships and specifically her relationship with Sonic.

When she showed up for the first time in a game she was 8 and was a fangirl of Sonic so... Basically another Tails but without any more use than be a damsel in distress, sonic didn't share her feelings like he did in the manga when she first appeared and then... Well things still didn't get any better in comics and series.

In Archie comics... oh boy... 🤦🤦 Do you remember? She was still 8 and in her classic looks and was still in love with Sonic and additionally she wanted to be part of the freedom fighters but was too young so she used a magic ring or something to get an old enough body... WTF with this plot? Still she had to work hard to finally be part of it and that's great I guess but seriously the changing the body thing was... 😣😣 She still was portrayed as annoying (in another comic she was portrayed as a capable independent warrior but sonic treated her crush for him with too much disgust so...😒)for a while but kept getting better, yet her crush for sonic remained completely one sided for so long until finally little by little he started to be more comfortable with her and she wasn't pushy about her feelings anymore and we got so many nice moments but the best ones to me are in the IDW reboot because I mean... Just look at this:

Best part of it? Sonic is not only comfortable with her he wants her company! Writers and artists of the comic are not allowed to show too much specific emotion like a obvious blush but still they did it pretty clear! He flirts subtly, he gets embarrassed in the good way with her comments and... Isn't he more touchy? Remember the group hug? Tails is also hugging him and then Tangle squeezes everyone with her tail but sonic hands are only AROUND AMY !!! And not only in the modern comics also the comics with the classical look!

Aren't they cute????

Well now the TV shows, i still don't know what will happen in Sonic prime but let's remember others shows:

Sonic X: I'm not a really big fan of this show besides the Knuxrouge moments and for good reason, they had the modern game designs i like but the animation was terrible 🙈🙈 and I can't stand most of the humans because of the lack of charisma specifically that tag along needy bland kid but issue here is how Amy was treated, yeah sure there was some spontaneous moments when she was charming and sweet and a tiny moments when she was a good fighter but in general for comical relief i suppose... She was obnoxious, loud, pushy, obsessive, bossy, over violent... They also took away her moment with shadow ... And in general most characters showed discomfort with her in too many times and she wasn't seen as a capable fighter in the most serious situations so sonic didn't want her around in the battlefield, just see the difference between Rouge and Amy in the show, i guess because Rouge is a match for Knuckles and half antagonist she could be seen as a capable fighter but Amy was just a loud violent fangirl so she couldn't 🙄🙄😒. But I'm going to be fair and point the little sonamy moments, but to be honest they didn't felt that genuine to me because sonic uncomfortable annoyed attitude in general towards her... So this moments felt kinda forced and because of that im not satisfied with them. The remarkable ones: the shells bracelet the sonamy moment to me was Sonic fixing the bracelet and wearing it without Amy knowing cause let's be honest the moment he rushed into water to save her doesn't count because he would do that to save any of his friends so we can't trust that moment in fact he did that for knuckles in the movie and they were still enemies 🤷 and others i remember that there's a Japanese ending that was sung by the seiyus of Amy and Sonic in a duo a sounded really romantic and it shows in the animation how Sonic is looking for a sad Amy in the mist and the last one i remember is when sonic is back from earth and Amy runs going to meet him and yells at him crying her feelings out and he out of nowhere gives her a flower and says something that we casually can't hear in the original dub... Like up to interpretation right? Like he could have said that he loves her and we don't know...🙄😒 Well for this i can't say that sonamy was cannon in this show...

Sonic Boom: well here we are, with this show 😂😂😂 well funny enough unlike with Sonic X or for now in any Sonic stuff ever(except the original manga when she first showed up), i can and I will say absolutely convinced that SONAMY was totally CANNON here, for starters like in the recent comics Amy is again part of the group, capable smart and strong fighter, maybe whiny and bossy but still more charismatic and funny and sarcastic and also those treats are in sintonía with the other characters: sonic sassines, knuckles dumbness, sticks craziness and Tail geekness so everyone Is balanced in annoyingness moments i don't know if I'm explaining myself 😂😂. This time Amy hides her feelings but Is still obvious and Sonic hangs out with her a lot, even without the rest of the group and more importantly HE GETS NOTICEABLE JEALOUS! He was annoyed Amy prefers Vector help than his and was upset when she hugged him, when she was fawning over a skater rat boy, when he thought she had a date with someone, same He has no problem flirting with that girl Perci but with Amy he is shy even though in his fantasy he was enjoying the jealous Amy stating: "don't mind her, she kind of has a thing for me" when in this show she hides her feelings and never told him, Eggman points out that there's something between them, he dreams with her and they had dates alone!! Just like with the Knouge moments in Sonic X, the sonamy moments were the only reason I watched Sonic boom 😂😂😂😂

Oh and what could happen in Sonic prime? It remains to be seen... I hope we get good stuff🫴🫴🫴

And for the games we still have nothing in particular, we just have a new Amy still in love but not obsessed and she is wanted along with the group as a strong asset for the team like she should be

Seriously this scenes meant a lot for me, she was fighting on her own the robots fine and Sonic and Tails looked for her to invite her to the adventure that is all I wanted! I hope the game feed us as well with the Sonamy we deserve.

And last the future possible Sonamy in the movie, you just have to read this👇👇👇

Movie Sonic is not only a lonely child who doesn't want to be on his own and wants attention and company unlike the free spirit he is the games, he is also an awkward teenager who wants to show off and look cool and has never seen a female from his species so.... 👀👀👀 What could happen? Well in case you haven't read it if you scroll down my account you'll find my version of what i imagine of Amy appearance in the movie 🤭🤭🤭 honestly if sonic isn't a shy mess not knowing what to say to look cool in front of her and he isn't teased the blue out of him by his adopted family because of it I'll be disappointed 😮‍💨😤

[saffloure]

ೃ༄HIT DICE (IV)

EDDIE MUNSON X HARRINGTON!OC

MASTERLIST

✧chapter four: misery of the wrathchildren

↳ word count: 7,5k

↳ spoiler warning: s4ep1-2

↳ other warnings: angst, death, wound & injuries description, anxiety attacks, mentions of ED, childhood trauma, mentions of weed

↳ mentioned songs/artists: Ozzy Osbourne, Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now by the Smiths, Morrissey, Metallica, Christine by Siouxie and the Banshees, Rainbow in the Dark by Dio (reference)

↳ a/n: hell kinda broke loose in this chapter

"Principal Higgins’d crucify you if he saw you right now," Eddie Munson chuckled, lending his scraped black lighter to no other than Stacy Harrington.

With her brows furrowing, she leaned forward, inhaling the bitter puff of nicotine.

"Like what?" she asked in a challenging tone, closing her eyes as she let her bag drop to the ground.

"Skippin' classes and smokin' those disgusting menthol Newport’s with the last person you're supposed to be friends with," he replied swiftly, his back now plastered to the cold wall of Hawkins High gymnasium.

There was a little passage between the two buildings — legend had it, it was the exact same spot where Steve and Nancy broke things off two years ago. Now, however, hidden from the judging stares of rumbustious students and their astir yells, the location had become a secret hideout. This morning, the little shire of serenity had been especially important, hence neither Stacy nor Eddie felt the urge to attend the great speech before this evening’s Championship Game.

"I'd rather spend eternity listening to you rambling about DnD than hear another word from that barf bag Carver," Stacy whispered in a venomous tone, her expression causing the corners of Eddie's lips to go up.

"Speaking of which..." the Dungeon Master started, sending her the side eye.

"You know I can't, Edds," she interrupted him with a sigh, "I need to be on that stupid game."

"But you don't want to go there," Eddie pouted theatrically, a cigarette he was smoking almost falling off of his mouth.

"Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do," Stacy murmured, looking down at her shoes, just as they were the only thing that could possibly comfort her. "And I need to do... this 'till I'm out of this shithole."

There was a moment of tingling silence shared between the two high schoolers. If it wasn't for the accompaniments of muffle sounds of the school band and the students cheering, the atmosphere would have been almost grave.

An awkward sensation swallowed Stacy Harrington, leaving her with an inner notion of dispute. Throwing the cigarette butt on the ground, she took a few steps closer to Eddie, burying her head in his chest.

"I'm sorry. It's just so bizarrely complicated," she mumbled, begging to feel at ease when he gently stroked her back.

"'S alright, sweetheart," he comforted her, only to be met with her discombobulated stare. Correcting himself, he blabbered, "I mean... It's not alright, but I get it."

"We should go back inside," Stacy responded, pointing at the school building.

"Nah, they're not finished."

"They are! Just look!" Stacy exclaimed, trying to see through the window that was on almost twice her height. "I swear they're all gone by now!"

"You sure you can see anything?" Eddie teased, yet simultaneously handed her her bag. "If you wanted to free yourself from me that badly, you could've just said," he added in the exact same manner. This time, however, sticking out his tongue.

"Not that quickly, Munson," Stacy responded cheekily before continuing, "We still need to go roller skating together."

"For what? So you could laugh at my exceptionally traumatic fall and possibly an arm broken in three places?"

"Pretty much," Stacy let out a giggle, playfully punching his arm. "See 'ya, milksop!" she added before entering the school building.

Still having around ten minutes before her classes began, Stacy Harrington made her usual route to the bathroom. It was an oddly specific coping mechanism, or rather the lack of it — running the cold water through her fingers, splashing it onto her face in order to deal with the emotions she tended to bottle up each time they surfaced. Today wasn't any different. Moreover, it was a day such an occurrence was likely to happen. Pep Rally, the worst possible social event.

The bathroom door opened right in her face the moment she laid her hand on the doorknob, causing her to nearly spit her heart out. Recognizing a familiar face, she let out a sigh of relief.

"Geez, Max," she mumbled with a smile that never fully reached her cheeks.

"You're friends with Chrissy Cunningham?" The redhead asked unprecedentedly, pointing at one of the bathroom stalls, "She's in there... I-I tried talking to her but she told me to get lost."

With a rapid nod of her head, Stacy patted Max's shoulder, muttering a quick, "Thank you."

Not hesitating a second longer, Stacy stormed into the depths of the restroom. Chrissy was her dearest childhood friend, someone, whom she treated as a younger sister or a cousin. With a relationship as long as theirs, it wasn't a revelation for the girls to be familiar with each other's background. And unfortunately, such information contained knowledge of Chrissy's eating disorder caused by her mother’s disruptive antics. Therefore, Stacy had rather a prominent idea what to expect when she set off to find the doe-eyed cheerleader.

"Chrissy? Are you in here?" Stacy's voice rang through the seemingly empty toilet. It wasn't hard to find the only locked stall and hear muffled paints that began to terrify her.

They brought back the memories of the last summer.

"Open the door, Chrissy!" she shouted, maniacally grabbing the doorknob. "Chrissy!"

"Go away!" The shriek that was let out from the cheerleader was far from an annoyed one.

No.

It was soaked with terror. Ossifying the air around them. It was a scream for help. A scream of someone stricken with horror.

Having no idea where her sudden strength came from, Stacy managed to kick the door so hard the little metal padlock fell out, hitting the ground with a clinking sound.

"Chrissy," she whispered, watching the golden-haired girl sitting, completely fossilized, on the dirty bathroom floor.

"S-Stacy?" Her voice was weak but high-pitched. Almost as if she had just woken up from a draining nightmare.

"Come here, sweets," Stacy murmured, kneeling right beside her friend and embracing her in a warm hug. "You wanna tell me what happened?" she asked, delicately stroking the back of her head.

"I-I..." Chrissy started, yet no other words escaped her mouth.

"You don't need to answer just now. Take your time."

"I think I'm losing my mind..."

An unspoken sister-like worry filled Stacy Harrington the second her friend quietly sobbed, soaking the shoulder pad of her blazer. At that moment all that mattered was to keep Chrissy safe. To help her. Hence she wasn't capable of helping Heather Holloway and her family, Billy Hargrove and all of those, who let out their last breath before the Starcount Mall massacre.

That day, July 4th became a date she would never forget. It became a tragic scar not only on her behavior, but also on her mind. Because of that, Stacy Harrington had sworn to herself she would never let anything else happen to her family and friends.

It was why seeing Chrissy Cunningham, red-cheeked, crying on the bathroom floor with clasped eyes made her so unbelievably vengeful. And solving the problem was the only thing that could possibly tame those feelings down.

"What do you mean losing your mind?" Stacy repeated with a furrowed brow.

"I'm imagining things," Chrissy whispered in frenzy, her hands shaking when she put them back on her knees. "And they're... so, so scary, Stacy," she added in a muffled cry.

"Do you... wanna talk about them?" the other girl asked carefully. With a shake of the head, she knew she made the right decision not to force Chrissy into talking. "Okay. Okay..."

Stacy looked up on the cheerleader, only to let her eyes wander around the bathroom stall they were still sitting in. Hesitating to take further steps, she took a deep breath.

"I... get those anxiety episodes sometimes," she began in hopes of comforting Chrissy.

"You do?" the blonde girl asked in the most innocent tone one could ever imagine.

"Yeah…” A sad smile appeared on Stacy's face when she answered before continuing, "...about school, my future, my friends. Because of that I stress a lot. A shitload, actually."

Her snarky remark caused the cheerleader to chuckle through her drying tears.

"I'd never have thought," Chrissy smiled softly, her demeanor seemingly calmed down. "What do you do to stop that?"

"I-uh," Stacy murmured, scraping the back of her head. She didn't think this part through. "...I occasionally smoke weed. I know it's not the smartest solution but..."

"Do you think I could try it?" Chrissy interrupted her friend, her eyes suddenly becoming bigger.

"I-I... You could, but I don't think it's the best idea. You should talk to someone about the things first. A school counselor, a teacher, even me if you want to," Stacy rambled, realizing how odd the conversation would have been if anyone listened in.

"I've already... talked to Ms. Kelley. For a while now," Chrissy confessed with her head hanging low. As if she was ashamed to admit it.

It broke Stacy.

Seeing her childhood friend and the sweetest person in the whole Hawkins made her want to shout. It was unfair. It was ordinarily heartbreaking to be a witness to Chrissy's meltdown.

The usage of substances to deal with one's problems was utterly immature, she knew that. Yet still, Stacy was becoming desperate to do whatever it took to find a solution.

"If you want to... I can ask Eddie Munson to meet you after school," she whispered as Chrissy nodded her head. "But you have to promise me not to tell anyone about it, okay?"

"Okay," the girl agreed in a timid tone.

As they both got up, Stacy send Chrissy a warm smile before turning back. Heading towards the doors, she heard her name being called.

"Stacy... Thank you."

"Not a problem, sweets," she answered, doing a little saluting gesture that made her friend giggle.

Deciding she should talk with Eddie about the strange situation she had experienced, the canteen became her destination. With the bell announcing the lunch break, she was ready to head towards the DnD table. Having a tiny delay of talking with Ms. Bailey after class, she tightened her ponytail as she rushed through the schools corridors.

As she entered the canteen, her brows furrowed, eyes opening widely a moment after.

Eddie Munson was standing on top of the cafeteria table, delivering a resonant monologue. His hands were plastered to the sides of his head as a resemblance of devil's horns as he put out his tongue, ridiculing Jason Carver.

Focusing all of her attention on the bizarre scene, Stacy shivered when an arm wrapped around her neck.

"Your boyfriend's fucking crazy," the sarcastically amused tone of Debbie Donoghue resonated in Stacy's ears, leaving her with a bad aftertaste.

However, instead of answering, she fixed her already blank stare on the curly-haired third-time senior, who now jumped off of the table.

"Wanna some M&M's?" Angie Ferguson asked blandly, showing a handful of multicolored candies in her mouth before handing the little red bag to her friend.

"Thanks," Stacy replied, appearing compellingly absent-minded.

She watched Eddie sat down, his face muscles tensing up to reveal a sour expression. Throwing his lunch at Dustin Henderson and Mike Wheeler, he scoffed, finding himself back up.

Debbie chuckled at Stacy's reaction, pinching her cheek before she and Angie went back to their usual table. Harrington, however, shook her head to let herself out of the trance she had found herself in.

"...I'm gonna snatch that diploma and I'm gonna run like hell outta here," Eddie exclaimed in agitation, his smirk suddenly.

"I'm borrowing you," Stacy informed both him and the Hellfire members, grabbing his hand and leading him out of the cafeteria.

Confused as he was, Eddie let out a chuckle after they had found themselves on the more secluded part of the corridor.

"Hold up, hold up! Where are we running?" he uttered, a smile never leaving his face.

"Urgent matter," Stacy replied rapidly.

"Well, that I already know, love. We wouldn't have been holdin' hands in front of Carver the Douchebag if it wasn't," he smirked, bumping into Stacy's back when she abruptly stopped.

She looked down at his hand that was still wrapped by her fingers, muttering an unbothered, "Oh..."

"Oh? You're gonna cause a controversy worse than DnD in Newsweek," he blabbered, putting one of his hands on the locker in front of him. "Speaking of which..."

"No."

"Come oon, you didn't even give me a chance to finish!" Eddie dramatically complained, scrunching his eyes.

"I'm not coming today, Edds. I can't even play," Stacy replied with an eye roll, nervously grabbing onto the strap of her bag.

"Oh, I know. 'M not asking you to play... Besides, you know how the campaign is gonna end so..." he shrugged.

"Edds..."

"Sinclair ditched us. We need a sub. It wouldn't be weird if you came here to watch since we, 'ya know, already'd have one outsider," he stated informatively, yet only now noticed how worried she appeared to be. "You good?"

"Chrissy's not been feeling well recently. I think she gets anxiety from all that Pep Rally shit," Stacy confessed, hiding her hands in the pockets of her blazer.

"And you want me to..?" Eddie began, waiting for the girl to fill his question in with an answer.

"...sell her something."

He blinked twice when a fond smirk grew on his face.

"I can't believe it," he muffled, grinning. "Hawkins' pride and joy, Miss H. And Miss C. doing drug deals?" he added in amusement.

"That's not funny, Eddie."

"One more day and it'll turn out she listens to Ozzy as well... I mean, maybe she'll come with you to our campaign, huh?" he rambled on, keeping up his joking mannerism.

"For the love of god! I'm not coming to your stupid meeting!" Stacy stopped him, her voice muffled, yet at the same time audibly annoyed.

"I..."

"Honestly, Eddie. I get that's important to you but so is that shitty Pep Rally to me! If I don't come there it'll be a fucking social suicide!"

Only at that instance Stacy began to hear what she was saying, realizing how abominable her explanation sounded. Suddenly, she felt her stomach drop, her limbs freezing. Before she got the chance to deliberately explain herself, Eddie was looking at her with eyes as widely open as he didn't want to believe what he had just heard.

"Social suicide, you say?" he scoffed, avoiding the eye contact with her. "So that's what this has been all about? You, not getting embarrassed by people like me? You, getting to live your picture-perfect life?"

"That's not what I meant," she tried to interrupt him, but failed as he looked up on her.

"But that's exactly what you've said, Stace! You put on that phoney smile, pretend like it's all good and your friends don't talk shit about you behind your back. A-and the moment someone wants to like you for you, you just turn your back, wagging your tail at that Donoghue girl."

This time it was Eddie, whose voice quieted down at the end of his sentence, regretting the words he had just said.

"I-I..." Stacy tried to defend herself, yet the brutal thought that was just delivered to her kept her far from creating a working answer. "I’ll see you around."

"Stacy!" Eddie called after her as she turned on her heel, speeding off in the opposite direction.

"Just remember about Chrissy," she reminded him before she disappeared into another corridor, a tear escaping her eye.

With his hand clenched into a fist, Eddie let out a growl, hitting the locker he had been leaning on, "Shit!"

This evening, guilt and frustration were the only emotions Stacy Harrington endured. Replaying the conversation she had with Eddie over and over, she couldn't seem to pay attention to the basketball game she was watching alongside Angie Ferguson. Her leg was nervously bouncing, as if she was awaiting for the inevitable end of the tournament. Minutes seemed like hours, elongating her suffering from overthinking every possible scenario that came after her argument with Eddie Munson.

The most tremendously bashful thing? She knew he was right.

That was why after their teams victory, she refused Debbie Donoghue party invitation. After all, she wasn't wagging her tail at anyone. At least not more than necessary.

Grabbing her stuff, she made eye contact with Chrissy that lead to them talking behind the bleachers. She wanted to make sure the girl was taken care of and the fight between her and Eddie didn't affect her. After learning that the Dungeon Master and the cheerleader fixed a meeting after the game, Stacy drove straight to her house, breaking into tears the moment she closed the doors to her bedroom.

Pathetic. The word rang inside her mind like an annoying alarm clock on a Monday morning.

Pathetic. There was no doubt her actions were just so.

Pathetic that she could've prevented it.

If only she stood up, exclaimed she had no interest in basketball, yelled she had had enough of the counterfeited compliments and noisy gossips.

If only she had the courage to be herself.

With her makeup now entirely destroyed by sea salt tears, she crawled into her bed, placing a The Smiths vinyl into the record player. Such cliché action of listening to melancholy music while feeling morose herself was what was a usual occurrence during times like those. A few minutes in, Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now started playing. Wrapping her arms around her knees, a distressed smile entered Stacy's lips.

In my life Why do I give valuable time To people who don't care if I live or die?

"Stace! Turn that sappy Morrissey down!" Steve called from his room, his complain being a repressed grumble.

Fulfilling his wish to avoid him coming to her room with a possibility of finding her crying, Stacy rolled out of her bed. All of the sudden, her eyes fixed on the baby blue landline phone located on her desk. Her mind cramped up with the thoughts of how Chrissy was doing. If she got home safe. If the drug deal came as planned.

A salve of shame overwhelmed her again when she realized she could've suggested her company during smoking. Hence why her one hand made its way to the phone, the other frantically searching for Chrissy's number in the tiny purple notebook Stacy kept the addresses of her friends.

Just as she was about to dial the number, she realized how late it was. If she was to call Chrissy, she would have woken up her whole family. That, she wanted to avoid. She knew the Cunningham's and how their frustration with a late night call could affect their daughter. Therefore, Stacy made up her mind into calling Eddie Munson. His uncle worked late shifts, after all.

However, no one picked up. Not even after four attempts.

He's mad at me, Stacy thought to herself, letting her intrusive thoughts devour her sanity. Back in her bed, she cried herself to sleep, deciding she would try contacting both Eddie and Chrissy the morning next.

Waking up, her emotions cooled down, leaving her mind with a clearer vision of what to do — apologize to Eddie and make sure Chrissy took the weed well. Dressed up in denim jacket, matching jeans and a simple white t-shirt, Stacy grabbed a piece of toast, her Walkman and a pack of cigarettes. Making her way to the Cunningham's she hummed along Siouxie and the Banshees mixtape she accidentally left in her car.

"Oh! Hi, darling! We were just having breakfast. Would you like join us?" the soothing tone of Laura Cunningham greeted Stacy the moment she knocked on the front door.

"No, thank you, Mrs. Cunningham. I'm not hungry," the girl replied, only now realizing she was holding her breath. "I-uh, actually I was going to ask if Chrissy is home."

The cheerleader's mom furrowed her brow, abruptly surprised, "Weren't you two at Debbie's yesterday? I thought you stayed over."

"I didn't go," Stacy responded, doing her best not to express the sensation of fear that began to burn her from the inside. "Chrissy didn't come home last night?" she asked, placing her hands behind her back to hide their trembling.

"No... Did something happened?" Laura splattered all of the sudden, a motherly concern on her face.

"We were... supposed to go shopping. But I guess she must've stayed a night! Good day to you, Mrs. Cunningham!" Stacy lied swiftly, sending her friend's mother a reassuring smile.

A smile she wanted to believe was genuine.

She couldn't stop her fingers from quivering when she started the car. Breaking the speed limit, she raced to the trailer park in hope for some answers. If Chrissy didn't return home that must meant Eddie offered her to stay. And if she experienced bad results of the substances she allegedly used, it would've been for the best if she did that. After all, Eddie was experienced with the drugs he was selling. He could have easily taken care of someone, who zoned out a bit too quickly...

...or at least that's what Stacy wanted to believe.

It wasn't until she arrived at the trailer park, the realization hit her. Simultaneously, her guts wrenched, her legs became unbelievably light, her head began to spin. She had no recollection of parking her car and running towards the direction of Eddie's trailer.

Swarmed with people in blue uniforms.

"Miss! Miss! You can't come in here!" a policeman called, stopping her from running into the house.

But stepping on the doorstep was enough for Stacy to notice a figure being covered by black plastic sheet. Limbs unnaturally bend in joints, lifelessly sprawled on Eddie's floor. Bloodshot eyes, still wide opened. Crimson liquid leaking from her mouth that seemed to freeze in the middle of a scream.

"Miss? Are you okay?" The policeman's words seemed so far away, so distant.

The only thing Stacy could hear was the sound her own rushing blood. The only thing she could feel was the piece of toast forcing her guts to be vomited.

"T-that's... Is that... Chrissy?" she managed to say, her hands shaking so badly she couldn't grab the railing to sit herself down.

"We... still didn't identify the victim. That could be anyone, Miss. There's no need to..."

"Bullshit..." Stacy interrupted the man, hearing her voice as if it was not coming from her. "She has a cheerleader hoodie on. Her name's on it," she explained, pointing at the direction of the house.

"As I was saying, Miss. We didn't identify..."

"Her name's on the hoodie," Stacy repeated, rocking herself back and forth as her arms and legs trembled from the terror that was awaiting to come.

"Miss, you really need to go. This is a crime scene."

Her head was spinning. Her mind was absent. Her brain couldn't comprehend what she had just saw.

She froze. Just as she did in Starcount Mall. Just as she did in the Byers' house.

"Stacy?" a familiar voice called, although she needed to look up in order to recognize its owner. She had never heard Wayne Munson so petrified. So frightened. "Stacy, he didn't do it. He didn't," the man frantically rambled.

He.

Eddie.

Stacy's eyes wide opened when she rapidly got up, her expression covered by overwhelming frenzy.

"Where is he? Where's Eddie, Mr. Munson?" she questioned hectically, her breath heavy.

"He... he ran away," Wayne answered quietly, his eyes blank, lacking any sort of liveliness. "But he didn't do it, Stacy. You have to believe me. Eddie's a good boy."

"I... I," Stacy stuttered. It was only now when she fully realized what happened.

Chrissy was dead. In Eddie's trailer.

The fog that took over her mind vanished, leaving her with the sore throat and sheer horror. But, she finally could begin to think rationally. That's why she vigorously lead Wayne Munson a fair distance from his house. Just to reduce the possibility of the policemen listening it.

"Can you tell me what happened?" she asked, her voice steady, yet still morbid.

"I came home from work. Saw this girl on the floor. No sign of Eddie," Wayne answered in short sentences, still reliving the sight of the dead body in his living room.

"Do you know where he might've gone?" she continued, receiving a negation when Eddie's uncle shook his head. "Okay... okay..." she whispered more to herself than to him.

Trying to confirm that everything was under control. Even if it was leaking through her fingers, not seeming to stop.

"He didn't..."

"I know, Mr. Munson," Stacy interrupted him, grabbing his forearm.

Never for a second had she thought the murder was a result of Eddie's action. It had never crossed her mind that he could be the perpetrator. As naive as it might've sounded, Stacy knew him. She knew his tiny quirks, his random outbursts of breaking into monologues. She knew about the spots he hid his drug supply, about his fascination with Tolkien, about his love for trashy metal ballads. But most importantly, she knew he couldn't have done that. Because nonetheless of everyone else claimed, nonetheless of them calling him a freak, a weirdo, a social outcast, she knew he was a gentle soul. He was the boy, who spent his days on learning how to play the new Metallica song and who skipped lessons just so he could stop being bullied by both his teachers and his peers. He was her friend. Not a murderer.

"I will find him. I promise," Stacy whispered, noticing the tears escaping Eddie's uncle's eyes. "If you need a place to stay..."

"My friend runs a motel. Don't worry, little Harrington," he reassured her with a tiny sorrowful smile.

After saying goodbyes and thank you's, Stacy run back into her car, her destination becoming her brother's workplace.

She needed someone to calm her down.

"Fuck!" She yelled the moment a song called Christine came on, hitting the steering wheel with all of her strength.

Her mind went back to the scenery she entered a while ago. The gruesome sight of her friend's corpse perpetuated her mind, making it unable for her to breath properly.

If only she didn't tell Chrissy to meet Eddie. If only she came with her.

Stacy's thoughts became unbearable to the extreme she had began hyperventilating. It was just like having a macabre lucid dream, a feverish nightmare that was turning out to be reality.

But then, she felt her body sinking even further.

If Eddie didn't kill Chrissy, who did?

Running into Family Video seemed to be a never-ending marathon. Stacy didn't realize when she was standing inside, her hair disheveled, her face red from crying. She didn't even recalled bumping into an older couple until the lady let out an annoyed scoff when their shoulders touched.

"Woah, woah. What happened, Stace?" Steve called as soon as he saw his sister. Mumbling, "Apologies," to the older woman as he grabbed Stacy by her arms.

"Chrissy... Eddie... the trailer park," she mumbled full of panic, her voice cracking the more she spoke.

"Shit! Shit, shit, shit," Dustin ranted, grabbing Stacy's forearm and leading her beside the counter to sit her down. "You've seen her, didn't you?" he asked, worry entering his face.

Stacy nodded her head, a lonely, bashful tear streaming down her cheek.

"Hey, she's my sister, Henderson. Not yours," Steve called with the tone that indicated he was trying to get rid of the tense atmosphere.

"Yeah, but she is... Stacy," Dustin wondered, confused by his own lack of a more descriptive word.

"Can you focus? We're kind of short with time," Max reprimanded the boys, pointing at the computer's screen that showed shop's database.

"Well, forgive me for caring about Stacy, who comes in her with her eyes cried out!" Dustin argued, furrowing his brows at Steve.

"It's not that, man! You're just stealing my job!"

"Oh, calm down, Dingus!"

"I saw her on the ground and she... didn't look human," Stacy's whisper brought the attention to her, causing the teenagers to become silent. "And I know Eddie couldn't... I mean, h-he couldn't..." she stuttered, putting a hand over her mouth. She began feeling nauseous at the mere thought that had just occurred in her mind.

"The lights started flickering last night," Max replied, carefully approaching Stacy.

"No…" the older girl gasped, her eyes fixed directly on the redhead. "No, this can't be happening… not again," she repeated to herself as if she wanted to convince her own self the Upside Down wasn't a part of it.

It was so unbelievably hard, hence she already familiarized with the idea in her subconsciousness.

Noticing her state, Steve took a few steps closer to gently ruffle her hair. Giving her time to calm down, the teens had returned to the computer. Trying to figure out the true identity of a certain mysterious persona, they based their research off of their VHR rentals. Connecting the dots while realizing they were doing their research on a man named Rick, Stacy rapidly stood up, glancing at the screen.

"You're looking for Eddie," she stated with confidence, yet her voice remained weak. "You think he's hiding at Reefer Rick's?"

"Hold up, how do you..." Steve started but was never able to finish.

"I can take you there," Stacy assured quickly, her voice breathless.

"So this is true," Robin gawked, a small smirk appearing on her shocked face. "The thing that goes around school... That you actually are friends."

A loud sigh of Max Mayfield tried to return everyone to the rightful subject when she said, "Of course they're friends. Why else would she be at the trailer park today?"

Indicating it was close to common knowledge, Max Mayfield grabbed her Walkman, walking past the remaining high schoolers.

"What are you waiting for?" the redhead went on, standing by the exit.

"Uh, me and Robin are actually on a shift here," Steve complained, met with four equally reprimanding glares. As an defense, he yelled, "Okay! Geez, calm down, people!"

"Closin' early!" Robin called, locking the door as all of them left the store.

"Everyone get into my car. Stace, you sit in the front!" Steve ordered in a mother-like tone, starting up the engine.

With her left feet bouncing, Stacy bit the nail of her thumb, her eyes numbly fixed on the road. Focusing to begin giving directions, she was unable to concentrate on anything else but the route.

On the backseat, Dustin was complaining he was seated in the middle, meanwhile Max rolled her eyes, looking out of the window. Robin's stare, on the other hand, was fixed on Steve's back. Just as she knew what conversation was going to happen in a few seconds.

"We need to talk," Steve started, tapping his fingers on the steering wheel.

"About what?" Stacy asked, not out of sleaziness but of pure curiosity. She felt cut off of the real world, her thoughts took too much time to make a sensible whole. Therefore only after a while she realized the meaning behind her brother's words, commenting it with a simple, "Oh."

"Why didn't you tell me you are friends?" he went on, his voice sounding almost disappointed.

"Technically I did," Stacy whispered, unintentional smile cracking her expression. "Turn left."

"Wh-technically you did? What is that supposed to mean?" His brows furrowed as he followed her directions.

"That time two weeks ago when I was going out. I've told you you were going to Eddie's."

"I thought you were being sarcastic! Like you always are!" Steve exclaimed, sending a sharp stare to Robin, who began to chuckle.

"Why are you making such a great deal about this?" Stacy asked, her voice weaker that usual. Implying she had truly not inner strength to cope with his fits at that moment.

"You need to tell me about stuff like that! I'm your older brother!"

"Well, shit. I haven't noticed," she mumbled, causing even Max to smirk. "Follow the road until we pass McKinley's house."

"I'm being serious! I need to know about that so when the dude needs to be beaten up..." Steve stopped himself, looking at his sister, whose face drastically change. "Why are you laughing?"

"Sorry, it's just... whenever you got into fights...like that one with Tommy H. or Billy... you're always the one, who ends up being beaten up," Stacy claimed through her pitiful chuckles. A smile on her red, swollen from crying face resembled the first droplets of rain on the land stricken by drought.

"Oh, very funny, Stace. Hilarious," Steve lamented with his tone awfully exaggerated.

Stacy looked down on her hands as the reoccurring realization of existence caught up to her again. Through her forced soft smile, she had to deal with the horrid images, the mortifying scene, and, what mattered the most now, Eddie Munson, who was now a proclaimed murderer. The same Eddie Munson, who she thought to be angry with her due to her own indecisiveness.

She looked out the window, placing her chin on her hand. What if he didn't want to see her? Most importantly, were they even going to find him at Reefer Rick's house?

With the persistent thoughts occupying her mind once again, she brought her attention back to navigating Steve. Arriving at the tiny shack near the Lovers’ Lake, the crew found themselves scanning the house with flashlights.

"Eddie! It's Dustin!" the curly-haired boy yelled, while banging on the window.

A tiny quarrel broke, typical for the dynamics of when Dustin Henderson and Steve Harrington were paired up together.

Stacy couldn't get her act straight. The flashlight in her hand wasn't working properly, or… that was what she thought until she realized it was the fault of her trembling hands. She was petrified. Not for herself, but for Eddie. If what Max said was true and their suspicions confirmed? What was the possibility Eddie was being targeted by the same thing that killed Chrissy? What if that something captured him and they were going to find him in the exact same condition?

"The boathouse," Stacy whispered ever so quietly she was heard only by the red-haired girl standing beside her.

"You guys?" Max called, following the clue she was given. Basking in the dead of the night, there was a single light burning, directly above the doors of the building Stacy mentioned.

"Oh, I have a bad feeling about this!" With Steve's mumbling incoherent words to himself, the remaining four went after Max. As they carefully opened the doors of the building, he grabbed an oar laying beside them, taking a lead, just in case.

The boathouse looked drastically different from what Stacy recalled. The atmosphere was chilling, especially now, at night. What added to the eeriness was the overwhelming silence that seemed to be deafening. As they split up, Steve following Dustin, Stacy keeping a close distance between her and Robin, the girl suddenly kneeled down. She picked up a golden box of cookies.

Famous Amos'.

The box she left half-full in the living room of Reefer Rick's house over a month ago. It couldn't have been just a coincidence.

"What are you doing?" Dustin's muffled shriek brought her attention back to her brother, who now hit a bump of trash covered by a black tamp… with an oar.

Shaking her head, ignoring the usual bickering, Stacy went after Max and Robin as they examined a bunch of candy wrappers and beer bottles that were messily placed on the wooden shelf.

"Maybe he heard us. Got spooked and ran," Robin commented, her voice so serious it almost did not suit her.

"Don't worry! Steve will get him with his oar," Dustin answered sarcastically, not pleased at the fact his friend was holding an equivalent of a deadly weapon in his hands.

Stacy stood silent, her nails digging into the cardboard box she realized she was still holding. The same box that dropped a second after Steve let out a terrified shriek and was put up against to wall by a silhouetto that emerged from the darkness of the boathouse.

"Woah, woah, woah! Eddie! Stop!" Dustin yelled frantically, repeating his name over and over.

Stacy had no idea why words couldn't came from her mouth. Especially when her friend was holding her brother, holding a broken bottle to his throat.

"It's Dustin! This is Steve! His not gonna hurt you, right Steve?" the curly-haired boy spoke in a cautious manner, causing Eddie to focus his eyes on him.

The eyes that Stacy remembered as cheerful each time they spoke, now we're filled with anguish and... fear.

Dustin went on, introducing the girls as to calm Eddie down and make him as comforted as possible in that instance. Yet, when it came to Stacy, she held her breath when Henderson said her name. For a spare moment she could've sworn her and Eddie's stares locked. His grip on the collar on her brother's neck loosened a tiny bit.

But it wasn't until Dustin swore on his mother none of them were trying to cause any harm, Eddie fully let go. Breathing unevenly, he slid down the wall, his eyes completely blank, avoiding meeting anything but the floor. Dustin kneeled next to him, saying words Stacy was unable to hear. All of her focus was on Eddie's glance when he finally looked up. Only then she noticed how watery his eyes were, how puffy they appeared.

But she couldn't do anything. She couldn't even emote what she was feeling, hence every single inch of her body felt frozen.

"We wanna know what happened," the calm, quiet voice of Robin was what caused Stacy to snap out of her thoughts.

But it was Eddie's first words that day that utterly broke her heart. "You won't believe me," he sobbed, failing in maintaining his steady tone.

Stacy wanted to kneel down next to him, embrace him, tell him it was going to be alright. Just so he won't feel that exact same way she did last summer. Just so he could lay all of his problems on someone else.

"Try us," Max challenged him.

And so he did. He had told them about Chrissy Cunningham, deep in trance in his living room. He had told them about how he tried waking her up, how she lifted up in the air, how her limbs bend and how the blood splattered from her eyes. Whilst he told that, his hands were trembling, he was biting his lower lip in order not to break into tears. Yet, the constant cracking of his voice entirely negated that he was far from what he had tried to pursue.

The thesis confirmed while recalling the monstrous incident, he snapped at Dustin and Max after they claimed they believed him. After all, his confession seemed compellingly out of place.

It wasn't until Dustin explained Eddie, in brief detail, what they endured on the span of the last three years that the curly-haired senior started to believe he wasn't going crazy. Although his voice remained monotonous and his lips compressed.

"You know, I tried to wake her, man. She couldn't move. It was like she... she was in a trance or something.

"Or under a spell," Dustin suggested, his eyes opening widely.

"A curse," Eddie corrected him.

"Vecna's curse."

"Vecna's curse," Stacy repeated to herself, yet her voice was barely audible.

Taking a step back, she leaned on a wooden counter in hopes of stabilizing her body. Her head was so light it could take a moment for her to collapse the second she’d close her eyes. It all felt like a bad dream. A nightmare she so frantically wanted to wake up from.

And yet, her eyes remained shut.

It felt like oscillating in between reality and imagination; one moment she was feeling entirely rational, ready to take action. The other, her body was pulled down by a sinking lead weight, unable to recognize anything but the sound of her echoing breath.

"Stace?" her brother's voice stood her back up on her feet.

"I'm good," she replied, although she was far from sounding convincing. Finally taking a look at the others, she realized everyone had been staring at her for a while now. That only meant one thing. "Are you going... Can you wait for me? It'll just take a second."

Her sudden change of mind caused Steve to furrow his brow and Robin to nudge him in the shoulder, making him answer nothing except, "Yeah. Sure."

As she watched the four leave, she hesitantly took a step closer to the man, sitting in a half-darkened corner of the room. With her breath becoming coherently audible came the realization she needed to do everything in her power to tame it. Or at least try to.

She didn't even noticed when the words, "Please tell me you're not hurt," left her mouth.

Eddie swallowed the gulp in his throat, focusing on his clasped fingers resting in his lap.

"'M okay," he mumbled, although he sounded exactly how Stacy a while ago. "I-I didn't want to... I tried to wake her..." he started, feeling he had to explain himself. Seeing Stacy shoved an immaculately great amount of guilt on him.

She shouldn't have came here. She shouldn't have seen him like this.

Intrusive questions swarmed his head with every step she took. He could see the pain in her face, the stained cheeks. Even the marks on her forearms she had given herself after trying to snap herself out of her anxiety attack. The thought of him not being aware how much she knew of if she even believed what he had just confessed to make him feel like he was choking a cloud of gray smoke. Smoke that was coming from scorching fire which was devouring his insides.

"I know," Stacy tried to comfort him, yet her voice broke in between the words. "I-I'm so glad you're safe," she added, being only millimeters from him.

His arms wrapped around her hips as he was still seated against the wall. What felt like an electric shock came through her body, causing the hell to completely broke loose. Within seconds she had found herself kneeling down, her chin resting on his shoulder, her hands pulling him closer.

It wasn't like any other hug their had shared before; it was a gesture of desperation that desolately tried to calm their frenzy. An embrace that felt like peace after the storm, like a rainbow in the dark. Most importantly, it felt real.

"We-we will deal with this, I promise. It'll all be okay," Stacy assured him, her throat burning from all the tears that were waiting to be released.

Her fingers carefully stroke his back, hoping to calm them both. She realized her actions had the opposite effect when a sob took over Eddie's body.

"You're crying," she murmured, frantically trying to wipe off his tears with her fingers.

"You're crying, too," he informed her, his weak voice stricken with worry.

In a state of surprise, with an open mouth, Stacy touched her cheeks, only to find out he was telling the truth.

"I... didn't realize," she confessed, a small smile exchanging the sorrowful expression. "I'm sorry," she added, wiping her face off with her forearm.

"What?" Eddie shook his head. "What are you sorry for?"

Stacy's trembling fingers traveled back to his body, this time stroking through his curls.

"You don't deserve to be a part of this," she cried, recalling all of the times the Upside Down was involved in her life. Now, when it was Eddie Munson — a person, she so dearly liked — she couldn't help the overbearing sensation of fear pushing on her.

Eddie looked back down, exhaling after an extended amount of time. He leaned into Stacy's touch, closing his eyes gently and wishing he didn't have to open them any time soon. Simply stay like that, not remembering the morbid events that took place in his house. Just him and Stacy's fingers comforting him.

"And I'm sorry I behaved like a total bitch. I've never meant to say your party was stupid," she added, but this time her tone resonated strongly. Confidently. Just like usual.

The vocabulary, that wasn't entirely suiting her, made Eddie chuckle for the first time since the incident. Seeing his response, Stacy swooped her feet a bit closer, closing him into a warm embrace once again.

"It's okay," he whispered into her ear, his hands melting into the sides of her head.

"It will be. I'll fix it, I promise," she reassured him once more, slowly getting up. "I'll be back as soon as possible. Get you some groceries and shit," she explained quickly, trying to collect not only herself but him.

"Thanks," he smiled briefly, his fingers interlocking with hers.

"Oh! I have a gift for you," Stacy exclaimed, vigorously searching through the pockets of her denim jacket. "To make waiting for us more bearable," she added, handing him her Walkman, a cassette and a pack of cigarettes — the only things she managed to grab before heading out this morning.

"Ew, menthol Newport's," he replied, smirking at her choice of cigarettes.

An attempt to bring just a tiny bit of normality to the situation.

"Oh, shut it, Munson," Stacy chuckled, shaking her head. "Gotta go. I'll make sure to grab you a beer."

With a smile, she waved to him, turning on her heel. However, she was made to turn her head at the sound of her name escaping his lips.

"Stacy?"

"Huh?"

"Be careful, 'kay?"

[seokwoosmole]

KAMP LA Day 1 Pros&Cons

This'll be a long one...

Cons (Let’s get those outta the way first)

-$50 parking?????

-Lines. For awhile there were like 6 of them cause no one knew where they were going or what they were supposed to do. I spent like half an hour w/ another fan just wandering around in different lines tryna find the right one until we did a full circle and went back to the line we were told to move from in the first place. Like why were there no signs whatsoever?? No workers stationed throughout the grounds to give instructions. Just eww.

-Maybe I was expecting too much from a company that couldn’t even get all of their booked artists to fly over but I was kinda hoping there’d be artist-specific merch or freebies. I would have even been happy with cheaply printed fake photocards :/

-P1Harmony & iKON should have had longer sets. I was a casual Piwon fan before KAMP but now I am srsly considering committing full-on. Their energy was soooo good, they have great live vocals & dancing, and every song they performed had me so hyped I totally would have wanted more. iKON. I practiced the Killing Me fanchant over and over only for them to not perform it?? I get opening with Sinosijak is basically tradition, Love Scenario is a must as the national anthem, Bling Bling was amazing, obviously gotta promote But You since it’s the newest, and I am a BDAY enthusiast but would I have preferred Killing Me, Freedom, or even Dragon? Absolutely. The set times were weird in general. T1419 was on stage for a very long time for a new group. I like them a lot but they performed like half of their discography. And Momoland seemed surprised that they were supposed to do another song. I don’t remember but I think it was Nancy that was like “oh we have another song?!” after they were ready to leave the stage. Then when iKON was on, they were tryna prolong their stage time by talking in between songs. Idk if SUJU got the amount of time they deserved but I really hope so since so many of their fans were there.

-That translator?? First of all, not 100% of my frustration goes to her since it seems like she’s not an actual translator but just a staff member of KAMP that was suddenly forced to be translator cause they probably didn’t have one. However, that still doesn't change the fact that she was...not the best. I don't speak Korean and I could still tell that she was not doing her job fully. There were moments when an artist would say like 5 sentences in Korean and the translator would be like "I'm so happy to be here, thank you". Like uhhhh I know for a fact that they said more than that and gave adequate pauses in between speaking to give room for the translator to talk. Also, asking T1419 who the best BTS impersonator is? What kind of question?? My memory is hazy, but I could have sworn there was a moment when the translator either dipped or just stopped talking, and T1419 were just trying to tough it through with their limited amount of English. I felt so bad for them, as this was their American debut and this is what they had to deal with. I noticed that besides Bobby, Jinhwan and from my memory, even Donghyuk a little bit, tried speaking more English, not relying on the translator too much as she wasn't translating everything they were saying, especially things in relation to the many mishaps going on. I also heard that one of the Super Junior members called out the translator for mistranslating what he said. I don't know if this was KAMP's weird attempt at censoring the artists' critiquing the organization, or if she just wasn't well-versed in translating – her grammar was off at times, making me wonder if she's just proficient in English and isn't actually fluent, which I am not blaming her for. But if that is the case, and the predominantly Korean-speaking artists can point out when there are flaws in the translation, then maybe KAMP should have actually had a professional translator prepared.

-I'm not elaborating on the obvious screwups of idk...half the artists not even being there and the lack of a sufficient apology and such cause idk what else I can say about that. I ended up requesting a refund for Day 2 because the artist I wanted to see most was MONSTA X, and even without them, T1419, MOMOLAND, and EPIK HIGH were up there, but I already saw T1419 and MOMOLAND on Day 1 so at that point, it just wasn't in my best interest financially to go. I think about how I at least got to see one of my ults, iKON, but a lot of people didn't even get that. I met someone in Koreatown who flew in from another state in the midwest JUST to see Kai. Like yeah, a refund is great (deserved tbh) but what about people's hotel expenses, gas costs, airfare, etc. Obviously KAMP isn't legally responsible for covering those, but on a moral front – all that money wasted because of a mistake KAMP made.

ANYWAY

Pros (Cause KAMP sucked but there people that showed up didn't)

-P1H's set was sooooooo good

-"When I say 'Kee', you say 'Ho'" and that bilingual joke. We love Keeho, bilingual king

-Oh yeah, P1H was great btw I may or may not be on my way to becoming a P1ece

-T1419 did amazing & congrats on their American debut! They seemed super nervous but for being so young they were great live performers. I'm definitely gonna keep supporting them.

-Also the collective 'ohhhhhh' from the crowd when they explained the meaning of their group name💀

-MOMOLAND has gained a new fan. Their type of music is usually not my cup of tea at all, but there's such an aesthetic appeal to the way they dance and their songs are so catchy I just loved every bit of their performance. Their stage presence is just AHH Exquisite. Also I could tell at parts they were being real sarcastic about the whole situation. The passive aggressive behavior was suuuuuper relatable and I adored it.

-iKON!!!!!!!!!! I can't even speak about it coherently yet. They were amazing. I love them. I loved them before. I love them even more now. Seeing them live is everything I imagined and more so. They didn't live up to the hype but exceeded it.

-Jinhwan shading the translator. Also him jumping as if to say "can y'all see me?" I love all 65 inches of him.

-Bobby live –– seeing one of my ult biases live –– he's (no pun intended but well deserved) iconic. Also he made us bark. I was too in awe to even process it but if my delayed processing hadn't kicked in I would have barked and chased my own ass in circles if he asked me to😩✋ Mrs. Bobby tell ur husband to leave his kinks at home

-Also Donghyuk bias-wrecked me harder than he ever has that night he was looking fine af🥵

-Met @aqua-bebe ☺️ See you at the next show <3

-There was a trio of dudes that sat in my area that were just the definition of the greatest fans on the planet. They cheered so loud waving their EXO lightstick like a lasso and dancing and singing for EVERY. SINGLE. ARTIST. What class-A supporters. When Keeho said "When I say Kee, you say Ho," they said HO with their whole chest. When MOMOLAND was on, one of them screamed "I LOVE YOU NANCY" louder than I thought was humanely possible. When iKON left the stage before their encore, they started the iKON chant in my section for them to come back. The were incredibly loud and obnoxious and looked like they had a blast. I aspire to be them.

[spaceorphan18]

Glee Musical Retrospective: I'll Stand By You (Ballad)

Sung by: Finn Hudson Original Artist(s): The Pretenders

One of the unique aspects of music is the ability to form an emotional connection to it. One of the reasons we collectively tend to love songs from our teenage years is because we attached to them so hard as we were growing up, in a way that we don't necessarily do with music in other parts of our lives. This song in particular I'll always associate with Dawson's Creek - as it was used in that show, and I was a teen at the time.

So, it's always fascinating when I come across a song that I have strong contextual associations with already when I hear it on Glee.

Anyway...

Story Analysis

It's interesting to note that it's Kurt's idea for Finn to sing this song. I don't think Finn gives a whole lot of thought to music beyond that there are things he likes and things he doesn't. Kurt is the one who is more musically knowledgeable, having the ability to know when a song should be used. We'll see this skill used again later on in the episode...

Meanwhile, I think the straightforward simplicity of the song works in Finn's favor. And the portion we get in the on screen performance is mostly boiled down to the refrain.

I'll stand by you, I'll stand by you Won't let nobody hurt you I'll stand by you Take me in into your darkest hour And I'll never desert you I'll stand by you

As Kurt suggests for him to do -- he's expressing how he feels, that no matter what happens, his child is still his child and he'll do whatever he can to be a great father. It's actually a theme that's brought up a lot in Glee (partly tied to all the 'be a real man' crud that's thematically sprinkled throughout the show, but this at least doesn't land on the more problematic end of that theme).

Finn is able to allow himself emotion through song -- an is able to express his own feelings of wanting to do whatever he can, even if he's currently feeling a bit helpless.

I do think there's a bit of duality to the song, though, too. I think he's singing about himself, as well.

Oh, why you look so sad? Tears are in your eyes Come on and come to me now Don't be ashamed to cry Let me see you through 'Cause I've seen the dark side too

Finn has a hard time with expressing his emotions (usually the only one he can really let out is anger). And I think this song speaks to himself, as well as his unborn child. It's alright to feel helpless and sad sometimes. And sometimes singing about it helps with those emotions.

Now - I'd argue this is Kurt's thought process on singing, and not necessarily Finn's. But I think Finn does latch onto it. The sentiment of the song is sincerely felt, and Finn does allow himself to tear up and be emotional in a way that he couldn't before.

So if you're mad, get mad Don't hold it all inside Come on and talk to me now

This feels very Finn-ish, too. Finn gets mad first, but here the song is telling him to be emotional. Or is this through Kurt? (Never really noticed how much Kurt meta you can pull out of this, wow.)

Technical Thoughts

I think that Cory did the best with this that he could - and it's really not that bad, even if I'm not the biggest fan of his voice. (Look - he wasn't a trained singer, and that came through at times, but he could hold a tune, and they threw a lot of difficult stuff at him.)

I will say - that pop/rock was what he did the best with, and that veers into that. I wish they had brought it down a little bit - he's definitely straining on those higher notes, and it always feels painful. But, I do think he's getting the emotion of the song right - and his acting was always on point.

Interestingly, there are some backup vocals that fill out the performance in the second part of it. Glee is slowly starting to break out of its firm - you have to see realistically where the music is coming from - stance.

(As an aside - is him singing to the sonogram supposed to be funny? Sometimes I can't tell with Glee, but I kinda found it funny.)

vs. The Studio Recording: The studio version is a bit more processed than the on screen version -- there's more reverb, there's more auto tune, there's more synthesized sounds. That's not necessarily a bad thing? It's covering some of Finn's (Cory's) shortcomings, he doesn't sound like he's straining so much, and the whole sound feels more relaxed - vs the tense show version. The overall sound is a lot nicer to listen to.

vs. The Original Version: Another song where Glee takes the original arrangement pretty much verbatim. Hmmm. There really isn't a whole lot to this song, is there? Glee changes the context a bit - as the original song is about standing beside someone in their time of need. But the fact that it's such a simple song mixed with Glee not doing that much with it, kinda leaves me little to say. :/

[stellawolfe30]

Hey I got a question, as a more or less new artist trying develop their skills, I am having trouble liking the art I make. Like my motivation depletes as I am drawing, cause I feel like I'm not drawing right. Do you have any tips for getting past this? If not that's absolutely okay, just wanted to ask cause you're a skilled artist, and asking questions gives insight.

im honored you'd ask me this anon, genuinly bc....i went through the SAME THING.

so first off yep i am an experienced artist at this point in my artistic journey but that still means i have doubts...many. about my art. doubts never really go away, they always stick but i can say they do lessen.

now that thats out of the way.

there was a time where i HATED my art, hell still kinda do sometimes. just a couple months ago i hit an art block bc i was so jelous of others people's art that i just couldnt make anything i felt worthwhile. and even before that i used to constantly hate my art simply because i wasnt very skilled and still new to art stuff.

the best thing to do for yourself is to accept how your art is right now and continue learning. how i always overcome days where i absolutly despise my art (i do that alot) i grab a couple references from pinterest and from my favorite artists and start learning. when i see my art improving (and u need to keep an open mind to this not doubt every line) i feel better. i feel more confident.

you also have to accept that your art will NEVER look like thiers. not because of skill but because art is a personal thing for everyone. just like everyhuman is different your art will be different and beautiful in a brand new way.

Basically what I'm saying is, give yourself a break. take a moment to breathe when u feel like ur art isnt right. then try learning something new. when u see development, be proud and accept that you're still learning. if i would have given up when my art was...man it wasnt good, i never would be where i am today with my art. im proud of my progress and i promise you as long as you keep going you will be proud of it too. draw what u love and hey if u like my art i tottally encourage u to reference it. i did the same with other artists alot and still do.

also dont think too hard when doing art, trust me it makes everything worse. have fun while drawing get exited! when im upset and drawing it doesnt ussually end up right. so have fun with it and try not too worry too much when something isnt right. you can always redraw it and...please please please reference lol it helps SO MUCH

okay so its really small but ohmygod eeeewww

this was before covid like 2-3 years before covid

2019

Maaaan my art wasn't great. But here I am now..satisfied with where I am as an artist when I used to think I'd never get here. trust me all you need is patience with yourself and an open mind to continue learning.

wish u the best of luck anon

[astra-novar]

Writer Troubles

This is kind of a rant post but still something I wanted to address.

You know the one thing that kinda bugs a writer? You get all these readers right? You see them reading the story, SO WHY DON'T THEY COMMENT? Like bruh, y'all underestimate how much writers need validation of their work. Especially if they're just writing it for free.

I might get some heat for this but I just wanted to address the matter. I'm sure my fellow Wattpad writers can relate.

Let me clarify that this isn't me trying to hound or force anyone to do anything. You have the choice to comment or not but I'm just telling you from the perspective of an author how it looks and feels like. Even if you may not care. This post isn't to guilt trip or shame anyone into commenting. Just draw an awareness of perspective.

As authors, we wanna hear what people think of our work. We wanna see how the audience reacts and genuinely feels about our content and how we've managed to make an impact. We wrote and started the work to begin with in order to tell a story. Or even possibly draw awareness to a matter by forming it in a work of fiction.

In my case, one of my Wattpad fanfics that's still in progress speaks on matters of domestic abuse in relationships which has been a recent issue in my country for the last few months. As well as a common thing for some people in the pandemic around the world. The purpose of me writing that fanfic was to bring awareness, give the audience an inside look to the mind of a victim (not saying that I am one), and understand why it's so hard for some people to leave. As well as to possibly help or comfort someone who may be dealing with the matter.

Writers have various reasons for writing that all have a degree of personal meaning/worth to them.

When people don't comment, we don't get the connection with our audience, and we don't know how people necessarily feel. Comments are the feedback on our work. And without proper feedback. how can we hope to improve the work or actually understand what our audience feels about? It often feels like no one's really reading your work or actually enjoying it even if you can see the numbers rising. Which can be detrimental to our motivation to update and can be a part of the reason why many writers either don't finish their works or may even delete them all together. For me, when I see a comment about my work, even if it's just a rave of how great my writing or chapter may be (Because let's be honest we'll always have those lovely comments that praise us as writers. Bless their souls I love them) that's the highlight. Even just one comment from one reader can make someone's day or keep that story going.

I understand not everyone will feel the need to comment. I also understand that as a writer I'm not obligated to expect anything from my readers. And my readers aren't obligated to comment. No one forced me to make this content for people right? Some may even argue we're lucky enough to have readers at all and should just be grateful for that. You're entitled to your opinion and if the world were a nicer place, all of us would wouldn't belittle/attack others for theirs and respect the difference of opinion since we're all different.

But I digress. That's not the point of this post.

I'm just saying personally as a writer, and for all the other writers who may feel the same as I do, our love for our readers is out of the question. Any fanfic writer, or any person who creates content for others, whether it be actors, musicians, artists (in every sense/media), Youtubers, etc., have an unbelievable amount of love for their supporters. We're grateful that we have them. But we want to hear and feel how what we're doing is making a difference or causing a reaction. That's all.

Personally I used to feel guilty for wanting comments and thought I should just settle for the readers I'm getting right? But it's fine to want more. I don't think it's greedy to want comments. And if anyone's felt the same, it's okay to want comments. So long as we're not forceful or rude in asking for them.

So bottomline, as you're reading a fanfic that you really love, just consider commenting. At least consider it.

That's all. Thank you for listening to my TED Talk. 😌👏🏾

[sunjaesol]

you got me fucked up in the head, boy

juke | human!au | medley of "sour" by olivia rodrigo

/////////////////////////

"I shouldn't call him," Julie decided.

Flynn looked up from her phone, doubtful that Julie's statement held any merit, and shrugged.

"If you want to call him-"

"You're supposed to congratulate me for my hashtag girl power."

"-then you should," she went on unperturbed. "You were with him for three years. You're allowed to ask how he's doing."

Her lips rolled in, frustrated. It wasn't that easy. If broken relationships were that easy to traverse, no one would write a billion songs about it - including her. Luke and her had history, fragmented moments of love and heartache mixed together to the point that she sometimes doubted herself. What did she craft herself - that stupidly imaginative brain of hers - and what was real?

Regardless, calling Luke was scary.

Everything started to spiral with one simple, Pitchfork article. Sunset Curve touring all festivals of the West Coast - the band to watch?

She knew the band had been doing well (without her), but she hadn't realised the big leagues were beckoning them on the stage. It was amazing, it really was, but it stung. Was she allowed to be jealous, to compare her career to theirs?

Her music was less marketable - a known fact after numerous articles calling it acquired taste - but now it felt like they were leaps ahead of her. It fucking stung.

Most of all, she just wanted to tell him she was proud. That at the end of the day, they were all artists and wished each other the best. That he deserved it. Because he did.

(Did he? When she was the one that launched the band into the public eye? God, she sounded bitter.)

"I shouldn't call him," she repeated.

Flynn sighed, rolling over on the bed to face her. "I think you should."

"Why?"

"'Cause you're clearly gutted about it," she muttered, an apologetic smile framing her lips. "Just call him, Julie. I'm sure he'll get it."

Julie laughed bitterly. "Yes. Because our relationship ended so amicable. Definitely not with paranoia and tears and-"

"Alright," she cut her off, tapping on her phone and then throwing the device in her hands. "It's ringing. Be ready."

The girl gasped at the sight of Luke's name and picture glimmering on Flynn's screen, heartbeat racing to an unhealthy speed while nausea rose.

She wasn't ready. She shouldn't call him. But knowing him-

"Flynn?"

-he always picked up.

She held her breath. It was foreign hearing his voice again. The same as three months ago, though somehow entirely different at the same time. Maybe because their was no mirth in his tone, no gleam in his eye. She heard it all - it was just confusion.

"Hey, Luke," she said.

It was quiet for a moment. Flynn stared at her with wide eyes, as if realising the weight of the situation. Julie wanted to chuck the phone out hre window.

"Julie?" It sounded accusatory. Fuck. "Why're you calling me from Flynn's phone?"

Oh, fuck. This was such a big mistake. Thoughts and shreds of sentences floated around her brain, none able to be plucked and spoken.

Her voice trembled. "I, uh, I wanted to ask how you are?"

"Why?"

It was cold. Somehow, she struck a nerve with a normal question like that. Her eyes shut, wondering if this was even happening at all and why he had so much power over her, still. They were broken up. They were on equal footing. It shouldn't feel like this.

"Because I saw the article," she pushed through. "That's why."

That seemed to mellow him down a bit. It felt like a tug of war, going back and forth with sickly twisted plays of power. One phone call, an entire coup d'état.

"Oh." A pressured pause. "Yeah, I'm good. It's crazy. Thanks." And then- "How are you?"

A smile mustered itself on her lips. Him just asking that… it felt nice. She wished her heart wasn't so malleable.

"I'm doing good as well," she said, unsure how truthful that was. "Thanks."

And then he made the big swing. "I'm seeing someone new."

It happened automatically, the way the phone retracted from her ear to put in on speaker. She wouldn't have the strength to recount whatever he'd say next to Flynn.

She kept the phone close though. "You are?"

Her tone had gone up an octave, sugary sweet, too fake that he couldn't have missed it.

He didn't comment on it. "Yeah. Just thought you should know."

Flynn scowled, sticking her finger in her throat

Asshole. "Good for you," Julie smiled. "Are you happy?"

The question was dubious. Are you happy you broke my heart into a million pieces? Are you happy with your new girl? (Does she know how much I've shaped you? That I taught you all those sappy songs on the guitar?)

Or maybe Julie was too emotional. Too much of everything. Too gready to be whatever he wanted her to be.

God, how did it end so wrong? It started so beautifully. They worked so well together. How could they have gone from origami stars - attached and idealistic and lovesick - to a simple rip in the delicate paper, for her to be discarded?

Did she even want to know if he was happy?

"I am," he whispered. He was smart enough to sound remorseful. "She's great."

Julie sighed and nodded. "And-" And did you tell her she was the one too? That your love is eternal? "And…"

"I kinda have to go, Julie," he cut off. Always the last fucking word. "Nice to talk to you again, yeah?"

"Yeah," she exhaled. Taking him off speaker, she held it close to her ear again and listened to his breath for a beat. "Congratulations, again."

"Thanks." A smile in his voice. "Take care."

"You too."

"Bye."

She hung up. He should know what that felt like for once.

And then the jealousy snuck in. Fuck. A new girl. A new girl giving him butterflies - prettier, softer, happier, more collected, less fucked in the head. She probably had both her parents. She probably had a perfect body. She was probably secretly everything Julie wanted to be.

(Comparison would kill her one day.)

Cautiously, Flynn took her phone and pocketed it. "I'm sorry."

"You're right. I should've called him." She sat down. "Now I remember why we're not together anymore."

A familiar hand caressed her arm. "Are you okay?"

Her head shook. "No… I guess that's… part of it. I feel regret and shame and… I feel like he ruined me." Her body tensed up, angered. "How can he move on so quickly?"

Flynn's lips pursed, though the words were clear as day in her eyes. That maybe, their relationship had been bad for longer than Julie thought. She couldn't assume, but if Luke openly told her about his new girl… then maybe…

"You'll be okay again, Jules," her friend soothed. "Some day."

She huffed. "Is it bad that I still care?"

"No. I bet he still cares too."

Julie burrowed her head in a pillow, agitated by her own overwhelming thoughts and emotions, wishing she knew the full story, that she didn't feel like a fool, that she didn't have so many regrets, that he thought it through before he swept her up in the romance of a lifetime.

Julie was barely twenty. It shouldn't be like this.

She wished he thought it through before she fell in love with him.

/////////////////////////////////////

@blush-and-books @bluefirewrites @willexx @unsaid-emily @pink-flame @constantly-singing @ourstarscollided

[robincantfunction]

requested: yes/no(requests are open)

word count: 1201

warnings: slight mentions of racism nothing detailed in anyway at all though(mentions the black family as racists)swearing, one sex reference

lemme know if i missed any.

summary: fred and y/n are in a popular band together, and they're dating. the ships get too much and they have to tell their fans. but during an interview someone questions y/n about her racist family. but luckily fred is there for her, her hero. her lover boy.

song prompt 2: lvr boy - awfultune (i have to be honest i didn't really stick too much to it, but i had this idea so we are gonna go with it.

a/n: this is a modern au- the band is kinda supposed to give maneskin vibes but idk, although lvr boy isn't the best example of that-

toujours pur. one of the most popular bands globally, they were so frequently spoken about by all age groups, and just all people to be honest. they really were great. there music varied so much in genre, there was always something for everybody. the bandmates where what really made people love the band- on top of their killer vocals and riffs and just talent in general, their interviews, their youtube videos, their instagram lives, all of it made the public see what amazing people they truly were. fred weasley (lead guitarist) george weasley (rythm guitarist) y/n black (lead vocalist and ukulele player) harry potter (bass player) hermione granger (pianist) ron weasley (drummer) ginny weasley (acoustic guitarist). that summed up to a lot of gingers and a lot of talent. after endless obliviousness and shipping, ron and hermione finally got together- much to the fandoms satisfaction. harry and ginny were frequently shipped, but once ginny came out they started shipping her with luna, a known friend of the band. it was fun to both y/n and fred at first, all their friends were being almost nagged to get with the people they so obviously liked. it wasn't a safely guarded secret that fred and y/n were an item, they just never directly stated it. i mean what was the point? they loved each other, why vocalize it to the world? but then it happened. the tweets, the instagram posts, the tiktoks, every social media platform had to know if the hand holding, the cheek kisses, the 'i love you's', and the loving looks were all just out of friendship- or something much more. it was still fun initially, watching people try and figure out their relationship, but then it was brought into the interviews and the livestreams.

"why don't you guys just tell them? its so obvious anyway, and it's not like your hiding it." george asked after the band attempted a livestream, but ended it when the only comments were about fred and y/n. "why is it their business?" she responded softly. she wasn't wrong, but everyone except fred was still confused. "we know it's not. but come on, we're not gonna force you to do anything you're not comfortable with but it would stop all of that" ginny said, pointing to the livestream set up they have at the end of her sentence. fred and y/n knew they were right, but they were so comfortable how they were, they didn't want their relationship to be completely demolished. it was the last thing they wanted. and the last thing that either of them saw coming, but they were still cautious. "we have a couple interviews tomorrow, tell them or don't tell them. but it would be a good chance." both of them instantly knew what the other was thinking. the time has come. they're gonna tell them.

the next day were all sitting in front of an interviewer, and then another one, and then another one. and finally this one. "so, i know your name has never really been spoken about" the interviewer said, the band nodded "so what's with the band name?" everyone looked at y/n. she chuckled slightly and started explaining "so most of my family, not good people. they were pretty commonly associated with a racist organisation. like i said, not good people. well they have this family tree, personally i've only seen it once. me and my dad don't go to the family home often. it gives us the heebie geebies and they hate us. well anyway, the family tree says toujours pur, always pure. so i thought i'd mock them and suggested it as a band name. trust me, i've received many a message about it. they aren't happy." everyone chuckled, if y/n was one thing it was spiteful. "so just out of interest, has the band received any backlash about your family?" the entire band shifted in their seats, if there was one thing y/n rarely talked about it was her family. and fred was preparing to go into protective boyfriend mode. she shook her head "um, no not really." the guy looked somewhat hurt "oh. so racist family isn't something your fans have a problem with?" ok this guy was obviously being bitter, but before fred could say anything y/n jumped in "family by blood. not by nature. the only thing that correlates me with them is dna, and clearly they drew the short straw because they're missing some necessary brain cells. i'm not my 'family'. so no. i don't get backlash for something people who i've only ever had one conversation with did." the rest of the interview was very awkward. like, very.

"ok one last one and then we're done for the day" lily (their self appointed manager- not that anyone minded, she was a life saver) said, sending a sympathetic smile to y/n "i'm not doing it." everyone frowned, but understood somewhat. "y/n/n, love, one more. we'll tell them we're shagging like they want and then bounce" that made her chuckle, he always managed to that "lovely description of our relationship dear" everyone started laughing at the two. "ok. but if one more thing gets said about the fucking black family i swear to shit i will start throwing things."

the last interview was a lot more smooth. especially when fred held y/n's hand the entire time. that didn't go unnoticed by the interviewer, who commented on it a few minutes after she sat down. "so, fred and y/n. i know you to are" she paused and cleared her throat, whilst looking at their hands "close. and i know you're probably sick of hearing this but, what are you?" they chuckled a little "um... we're sorta dating" the interviewer smiled, and so did fred and y/n. it felt good to say it out loud. "i have to ask you, really quickly. is fred weasley your lover boy?" she asked, referencing their latest single "lvr boy". it was well known that y/n wrote the majority of their songs- specifically the slower bedroom artist vibe songs. y/n nodded sheepishly, never actually admitting that directly to the group no matter how obvious. "my room mate now owes me a tenner, thank you" everyone laughed, this was ok. she was ok.

"i'm sorry about earlier, love." she sighed "it's ok." he shrugged "no it's not. that was fucked up" both of their features softened "i was ok. i am ok. because you were there. and because you're here." they kissed "y'know 'm sorry bout your name. i know people give you shit for it" she pecked his lips again "don't worry about it." he shook his head "why didn't your dad take remus's name?" they both looked at each other "cause a name shouldn't be a burden. and with the person yuo love, it eases it all y'know. they don't care when they have each other." he smiled "can't wait till you have my name" he didn't mean to say it, panic evident in his eyes she smiled a genuinely happy smile "me neither" and she put her head in his chest.

he was her lover boy.

he owned her heart.

he owned her heart like no one else did.

she was always his.