#and it'd be foolish to not draw them like that at least sometimes

[aro-osomatsu]

to celebrate ichimatsu month it is time for me to post fat ichimatsu in cat lingerie

[sysig]

Tainted batch (Patreon)

[violetueur-archive]

[ tears ]  your muse wiping away mine’s tears . ( from suma bc wouldn’t that be funny that the crybaby is wiping away nicolette’s tears :’ ) )

NON - SEXUAL   ACTS   OF   DOMINANCE » ACCEPTING

The nights have grown colder this time of year.

With every gentle breeze that blows through the thin fabric of her simple yukata a tremor runs through her body, though she hardly feels it, lost in melancholy as she is. Sitting at the edge of the engawa, Nicolette stares out into the yard with a distant look. Her bare feet nudge at the small stones lining the perimeter of the estate, toes flexing against the pebbles.

She does not hear the door slide open, nor the soft patter of footsteps drawing near, but jolts minutely at Suma's sudden presence by her side. She says nothing at first— neither of them do. Normally talkative, Suma seems to hesitate at whatever expression she finds on her face. Even without words, the slayer can practically feel the other's concern. It's palpable and terrifying, but not entirely unwelcome. Somehow, the addition of a warm, familiar presence at her side makes it impossible to ignore just how cold she'd been before.

❝ Sorry, ❞ Nicolette is the first to speak, voice soft and uncharacteristically timid. Ashamed. ❝ I didn't mean to wake you. ❞

Suma shakes her head, denies the misplaced guilt. Nicolette isn't sure if she's telling the truth or not— even if her exit from the room hadn't awoken her, it's clear that Nicolette's absence had inevitably pulled her from bed. It's a strange feeling, to be both warmed by the knowledge of being missed, and chilled with regret for being an iconvienance.

It's still hard to be cared about. She isn't very good at accepting it sometimes.

❝ Everyone else is still asleep? ❞ She feels foolish for asking, but can't resist. Maybe it's some twisted way to figure out just how much self-inflicted punishment she deserves. Maybe Suma realizes it too, because she nods— assures that she only happened to wake up by chance. It could be true, but it's hard to tell. After another moment of silence, the kunoichi moves closer, sitting right beside slayer, smooth legs tucked under her bottom. Their arms brush with how close they are. It's enough to make Nicolette tense up for half a second before immediately relaxing by a thread.

A soft, sweet voice asks her what's wrong, and she shudders.

❝ I don't know, I— ❞ She stops, breathes in, then out, a trembling sigh. It'd be easy to just make an excuse, to brush it aside. Suma might be stubborn enough to put up a fight at first, but she'd never try and force Nicolette beyond her comfort. Yet... it feels wrong. She's trying to get better at this, at being loved, isn't she? ❝ Sometimes I have these dreams... they're not even nightmares. Not really, at least... not like I'm used to. ❞ Scarred fingers twitch in her lap, moving incessantly as she speaks. Clenching and relaxing. Picking at fabric. ❝ They're just... things I've experienced. Like I'm out on a mission... and there's all this blood. It's mine. I'm hurt real bad, and I'm laying there, all alone... and it's cold. So cold, and quiet. I can't move— I don't know if anyone will get there in time. I might die... I'm a little scared, I guess, but I'm used to it. It happened all the time before, but then I wake up, and I— I feel like I'm not really here... ❞

Like a confession, her voice falls to a trembling whisper. ❝ I wake up, and this is the dream. I'm not hurt, and I'm in bed, and I'm not alone— I'm safe, a-and... and it's not REAL. I want so badly to reach out and touch one of you, t-to just prove that it is, but... I'm so afraid that I'm wrong. That one selfish touch could ruin everything and I'd wake up all alone, covered in my own blood. Or that I might not wake up at all. I figured that it was better... better to never touch any of you again, if I could just stay in a beautiful dream. ❞

She doesn't realize she's shaking until Suma reaches out grab her hands, stopping the way they'd begun to clench so tightly that her nails left bloody, crescent-shaped wounds in her palms. ❝ But the thought of that made me feel so alone... you were all right there, but you couldn't have been further away. It was so confusing and scary. Before I knew it, I was out here... but I still didn't— don't feel like I'm in my own body. ❞ Her voice cracks with rising emotion. A gentle palm moves to cradle her cheek and lifts her head hanging head. It's impossible to hide the expression of acute grief on her face, eyes wide and glistening, lost. Suma doesn't look away, instead cupping both her cheeks, thumbs stroking awake tears— when had she started crying?

Nicolette sniffles and sinks heavily into the other's embrace as if the strings holding her up had been cut. Arms wrap tightly around her body, hands rubbing at her back and brushing through plum hair. She feels a pair of lips pressing into the crown of her hear, murmuring soft assurances and loving praise, and it's enough for the last of the tension to melt away. Wet lashes flutter closed, flushed nose burying against her lover's smooth neck to breathe in her familiar, comforting scent. Suma keeps talking, keeps touching, proving that she's here. That this is real.

The words follow even as exhaustion sets in. Sleep begins to claim her, and Nicolette dreams of nothing but a beautiful warmth surrounding her on all sides.