#and it’s just a reminder how much i despise psychology and psychiatry and therapy

[szczylpierdolony]

wishing i never tried to get an autism diagnosis

[short--insomniacs]

this is a mendel weisenbachfeld appreciation post

 i’ve gone to psychotherapy-- and also a psychiatrist-- for nearly three years now, and though i’m definitely not an expert by any means, i want to address a couple of things about Mendel being considered a “bad psychiatrist.”

sometimes distinctions between things in psychology can be sort of confusing, so if you’re not sure what a psychiatrist really does, i’m here to help! 

a psychotherapist is a person who is a pro in dealing with mental health, and through various different therapy methods, help people overcome psychological problems-- or sometimes just help people cope with life. you might see a psychotherapist if you’re depressed, or are going through a divorce, or are just really really stressed and don’t know how to handle life’s curveballs. 

a psychiatrist is a doctor who has specialized in treating mental illness, usually with some sort of medication, like an antidepressant. these guys have an MD and have had to go through med school and done a residency and all that fun stuff. they’ve decided to specialize in psychiatry. however, some psychiatrists also offer to do talk therapy with patients, like Mendel does with Marvin. so Mendel Weisenbachfeld has an MD, y’all. the dude is just as much of a doctor as Charlotte. 

in my case, i go to a psychotherapist for my talk/cognitive-behavioral therapy, and i go to a psychiatrist just to deal with the medication aspect of things. moving on....

i will say that i do not think that Mendel’s behavior regarding Trina initially was the best when it comes to ethics, to put it mildly-- y’know, asking your client if his wife “sleeps in the nude” is kind of...yikes. i would not do what he did. i would never want to! he definitely shouldn’t have gotten involved with a client’s wife while still seeing that client, because that tries his impartiality. ethics are tricky, though-- i have to remind everyone that they aren’t black and white. there's a huge grey area when it comes to them, and i think Mendel’s behavior is sort of within those murky waters. remember, i don’t think he was necessarily expecting Trina to sort of barge into his office in a bit of a panic about Jason. he’s been Marvin’s psychiatrist “for years,” and surely he’s heard a lot about Trina. considering that Marvin and Trina aren’t on the greatest of terms-- well, that's going to skew how Marvin talks about her. he’s going to focus on the negative. and, as a result, Mendel is left with an impression of Trina that is heavily influenced by how Marvin perceives her. imagine hearing about how terrible a person is for years...and then they show up, and you talk with them, and you think, “hey, they’re not actually that much of a shitty person???” Mendel sure as hell had to reconcile what Marvin told him about Trina with what he actually saw and observed with Trina. i’m sure that threw him for a loop, to put it mildly! in fact, i think a lot of Mendel’s talk about Trina in “Marvin at the Psychiatrist” is him trying to work through that “what the fuck???” feeling-- with some attraction to Trina, thrown in, of course. does that confusion absolve his shady ethics? no, it absolutely does not, and i am not trying to defend that. he toed-- and downright crossed--some lines. again, it is a grey area that is tricky to navigate. thank god Mendel at least made sure to not continue treating Marvin or Jason after becoming romantically involved with Trina. 

 but Mendel isn’t a bad psychiatrist in the way he deals with both Jason and Marvin.

 the way Mendel interacts with Jason during Jason's therapy is interesting. he is, from what i can tell, trying to teach Jason not to let his anxiety control him. the "feel alright for ten minutes/twenty minutes/etc." is him saying to Jason, "yes, okay, you have these feelings, and that's okay that you have these feelings. but instead of worrying about what you can't control, think about now.” Mendel also tells Jason, "nobody's screaming at you, nobody's yelling at you, look around you!" which, to me, is indicative of Mendel telling Jason that he's not under any imminent threat and if he could calm down and be mindful of what's going on in the present, his anxiety won't be so pressing. mindfulness is an actual thing that i have been taught by my own therapist! Jason seems very comforted by that fact! by the end of the song, he is considerably more cheerful. 

during “Everyone Hates His Parents,” Mendel recognizes that Jason is clearly overwhelmed with all of Marvin and Trina’s fighting over the bar mitzvah. when he says, “Jason, i am agitato grande/Jason, i am muy disgutante/and muy disappointe/and muy nauseatus,” he's referring to how he is disgusted by Marvin and Trina’s behavior, and promptly takes care to assure Jason that “everyone hates his parents.”  When Marvin and Trina get too overwhelming for Jason, Mendel literally removes them from Jason’s presence-- “I’m a psychiatrist, get lost!”-- and continues to comfort Jason by letting him know “this too shall pass.” by the end, Jason isn’t angry or anxious, like he was in the beginning of the number. 

now, considering Marvin-- during “Marvin at the Psychiatrist,” Mendel is asking him to truly think about his relationship with Whizzer. He asks guiding questions for Marvin to try and figure out if he wants Whizzer as a partner or not: "do you love him?/when he's naked, does he thrill you?" and, i might add, Mendel is basically encouraging Marvin not to be ashamed of his love for Whizzer "don't despise what you feel/love the friend, not the heel" which i find particularly interesting because i'm sure there probably weren't a lot of gay-friendly psychiatrists back in the 70s...and Mendel doesn't care. he is clearly very tolerant, and mature enough to put aside whatever differences he has regarding his clients, which i think is excellent for a psychiatrist. he tries hard to help Marvin figure out what he wants. and, i suppose, is also is trying to make Marvin see that his being gay is okay. he doesn’t want Marvin to “despise what [he] feels.” he wants Marvin to accept it, so Marvin can, in turn, become a healthier individual. Mendel doesn't care whether or not Marvin is gay; Mendel wants Marvin to be able to live his life without the daunting weight of mental illness or struggle-- that is literally a psychiatrist’s goal! 

no, Mendel is not by any means a perfect character. and that's the point! none of the characters in Falsettos are perfect by any means! but i think it is important to take a deeper look into Mendel, and his work, and how he truly does, in his small ways, help heal the others. 

tldr: i love Mendel Weisenbachfeld and he is a wonderfully flawed character 

thanks to @moreracquetball for being lovely and helping me organize my thoughts for this!!