#and it’s gonna be out in 10 gd days

[autistic-katara]

10 fucking days until tsats is out…

how just how

[da-rulah]

hi💆

I fucking love your content and I have a little request...

Here me out, Sexting with Mary Goore🏋‍♀️

Aww thank you so much, lovely!! I love that I'm getting Mary requests now, ever since writing my first Mary fic (which I just updated today, by the way 👀)

You want sexting with Mary Goore? Well, this is how I think that would go... fair warning, it's filthy. just as you'd expect with Mary.

GN!Reader, NSFW MDNI 18+

TW/ Fingering, masturbation, nude taking, filming self

(ps. if any artists see this and fancy recreating some of Mary's pics...... y'know, i wouldn't mind that... 👀)

You'd wanted a reaction, but this? This was beyond even what you could have thought.

14 text messages, 6 missed calls, and 2 failed video calls.

All Mary.

It was just a harmless little booty pic, something to tide him over until the next time you got to see your boyfriend. but to Mary it had been the final straw, the last of the sticks to be pulled from his game of kerplunk... And his marbles had been teetering all day, thinking about you, missing you...

The last text really caught your attention, after purposefully ignoring him just to wind him up.

If i wasn't on the road right now ur front door woulda lost its hinges. answer ur fuckin phone.

It sounded vaguely threatening; you liked that.

Sorry, my neighbour's cat needed a bath. A stupid lie to piss him off further. What's up?

What's up? u rlly gonna ask me that? You laughed at your phone, taking a seat on your couch as you waited for the three dots that were ominously typing still. My dick, that's what's up.

Sounds like a you problem. There was a brief pause, and you liked to imagine Mary was staring at his phone with an eye twitching in annoyance.

gonna make it ur fuckin problem, u started this.

A few moments later, you received a picture message; a close up of Mary's hand, donning his signature signet and skull rings, boney and veiny and large, gripping his bulge in his tatty jeans just below his leather belt. Immediately, your stomach flipped at the picture. He knew exactly what he was doing. Game on.

You alone?

Very.

Good.

With confirmation of his situation, you decided to turn up the heat. Resting your phone against a pile of books on your coffee table, you sat on the edge of your couch and removed your shirt. You set the self-timer to 10 seconds, and got into position.

Spreading your legs, you placed both hands between them to 'hide' your core. To show off the curve of your waist and hips, you leaned your shoulders forward, the figure he adored and desperately wanted to touch protruding and accentuated in the position you sat. The mix of skin, but not too much, and suggestion would drive him insane.

Satisfied after a couple of takes, you sent the best one and waited.

On his end, Mary stared at his phone with a twisted smirk, palming the bulge in his jeans. He fucking loved your nudes, always way more tasteful, artistic than previously less imaginative partners. They were always so much sexier than a standard dick pic or titty pic, of which he'd received many of the years.

u look gd enough to eat. u know what ur doing to me?

You giggled at your phone screen, typing out your reply.

no... will you show me?

Oh, he'd love to.

Mary set up his phone similarly to yours, resting it against a pile of laundry at the end of the motel bed he was lounging on. He removed his own shirt, undid his belt and pulled his erection from his confines, allowing himself a few quick tugs to keep the desperation at bay.

Then he set the self timer and leaned back, one hand behind his head and the other holding his erection in plain sight.

When he sent you his picture, all you could think of was crawling up between those skinny legs of his and riding him into the early hours. You fucking missed him. You ached for him.

u see, baby? all u.

This smug bastard knew the effect he'd have on you. He was smirking in the fucking picture. Time to one-up him...

You stripped from your clothes completely, once again setting your phone up on your coffee table. This time, you knelt on the couch with your knees apart, your ass to the camera, and leaned over the back of it, arching your back to show off the roundness of your ass for him.

When you sent it, Mary audibly cursed to himself. God, you looked delectable... he could clearly see your sex between your legs, so clearly aroused and presented to him. If only he were there...

aw baby, u wanna b fucked from behind? u know i'd take you in a heartbeat...

His text had you squirming where you sat, biting your lip as your hand travelled between your legs. With one hand, you typed back a reply.

Love when you fuck me like that... you get so deep, miss that

Mary groaned as he fucked into his fist, uncontrollably at the visions of previous exploits where he'd done exactly as you'd described. This was torture, his hand would never compared to being wrapped up and squeezed by your tightness.

just u wait til i come home...

can't wait... my fingers don't do the job anywhere near as well. you teased, slowly stretching out your hole as you leaned back into your couch, whining at the feeling.

ur touching urself now?

You smiled, picturing Mary's reaction. You could be so cruel, just reply with a yes and leave it to his imagination. But you were feeling particularly spicy today after too long without him.

So instead, you set up your phone again and took up the same position as your last picture, this time hitting the record button. To the camera, you coated your fingers in your spit, sucking them into your mouth before using them to push two inside you, teasing as your digits disappeared.

You whined his name wantonly, your intention to sound like the whore Mary turned you into. He always loved the noises you'd make for him.

The video lasted less than a minute when you cut it off with a giggle, ending on a close up of your smirking face as you'd turned the video off.

Does that answer your question?

Mary lost his mind. How dare you stop the recording. How dare you moan his name like that.

He'd had enough, the teasing too much for him to handle.

Instead of texting back, he instead his the little video camera icon by your contact name, the line ringing a few times as he was met with his own face putting the camera back at his feet, pants now completely discarded in favour of total nudity much like you.

You let it ring a few times, setting it back down against the books and hitting the answer button as you sat back into the couch, legs crossed and hiding yourself from him.

"You get back in that fucking position right now," he told you, voice gravelly and dark.

"Aw, you not gonna say please?"

"No. Get back up on your knees and show yourself to me. Let me see the mess you're making."

You bit your lip and did as he asked, spinning and kneeling back on the couch.

"You know what to do, baby..." he told you, the slick sounds from his end of the call sending shivers down your back as he stroked himself.

You did as you were told, re-enacting the short video you sent him as he watched. Mary guided you through it, telling you what to do, how to fuck yourself for him to his exact specifications. He edged you for almost an hour, and himself along with you.

It always blew your mind how Mary was able to give you the most mind-shattering orgasms, even from hundreds of miles away...

[mymalevolenthyperfixationpit]

1:08 ads end

5:10 three days. Yup. Thats how long it takes to recover from being run thru with a sword.

6:50 DRESS 👏 UP 👏 TIME 👏

9:30 “a thick piece of metal?” That dude wasn’t actually a prince, was he?

10:15 arthur bby plz do not go out in underwear and a shitty breastplate

10:20 Was that a zipper?? Btwn that and all the modern english everyone speaks, I don’t think they really time travelled lmao

12:10 three days. Absofruitly. 4 out of 5 doctors agree

13:10 what in gods name is that armor made out of

13:10 no he is definitely still a sore thumb

14:00 listen, i love yorick, but y’all trust him way too much

23:00 PI remembers secret doors are a thing. More at 6

25:30 for someone with no legs, you sure are good at jumping to conclusions, yorick

27:00 oh so now we’re suspicious.

28:50 nothing like some stagnant water with a three-day-old body in it to freshen up your stab wound

31:00 the lung capacity of this man gd

38:50 yes please get rid of the breastplate

39:00 a man who looks nothing like the prince who is nigh unintelligible with weird hair and shoes wearing nothing else but the prince’s bloodied underwear and one piece of his armor does not stand a better chance of getting into a castle than a random stranger. Once you get near the castle, hide your 20th century shit and the prince’s clearly more expensive clothing and say you were mugged and stabbed.

40:20 yeeeep its defo haunted. Again.

43:00 hes gonna paint the nails duh

44:00 ah. Ew, yorick. You know what, I’m not gonna yuck anyones yum

45:00 Alexander “definitely not an evil familiar” Owl, so happy to have you back

46:30 awww Faroe’s Waylay is probably a nice park with duckies 😭

[kewpidity]

answer every question on the proship ask meme POP QUIZ [or is it pro quiz??] i wanna knoooooow

@teacupballerina @hopscorched @emile-hides

sorry it took so long to get to these! gonna post em all together and give two answers where it makes sense since some of these are repeats!

1.) What is your favorite problematic theme/trope that appears in a lot of your ships?

its literally so basic in the grand scheme of problematic stuff, but i love a teen girl x older man, especially when she's in charge lol. i also like things like 'damning secret' (basically people going through forced proximity because they both know something they'd get in a lot of trouble over if it got out) or just forced proximity in general also a fan of one of the characters going insane with covetous love and lust that drives them to do all kinds of fucked up shit about it and also! a handy chart of one of my All Time Dynamics, kid x creature (im counting pompep)

↷↷↷

2.) Are there any problematic tropes that squick you out?

i dont really like anything involving cheating, DV, or hardcore rape/assault, feels bad man

3.) First problematic ship since you joined the proship community?

tbh ive never really Not been proship, it was the only logical thing to me, so this answer is kinda tricky- i guess i could say when i Actively started interacting with other proshippers? but tbqh i dont really remember sorry jklfsdk

4.) First ever problematic ship? (you didn't have to know it was problematic then)

quiche and ichigo from tmm is literally whats wrong with me it fucked up the chemistry of my brain when i was like 12

5.) Ship you don't think it all that problematic, but the rest of your fandom hates?

idk if this really counts Exactly but im baffled to this day by the divide the ML fandom has over the different love square dynamics, please explain to me how every combo is good and wholesome, except for marinette x chat noir, which is somehow bad and degenerate, like even the people working on it make jokes about it like what do you mean its the same gd people???

some others come from spop, where people will try to convince me that hordak x entrapta is abusive despite being one of the healthiest dynamics in the show, or how bow x glimmer is Practically incest cause they. grew up together??? spop discourse was Nuts

6.) Cutest, most vanilla ship you are into.

hmm probably my crossover ship for berry and adrien, they're downright saccharine

7.) Ship the antis in your fandom like, but you think is hella problematic?

Absolutely no hate to the people who like these but oh my god yall there are others but these are always the first two that come to mind

8.) Ship that is (presented as) cute in canon/fanon, but you think is problematic anyway.

kinda just the same ones i just listed tbh

9.) Problematic crackship?

as someone who deals almost Exclusively in rare pairs and crack ships, most of them lmao but if we're going with like. Probably Worst all across the board, its whatever is going on with cedrιc, elyοn, and phοbοs from w..i..t..c..h the depravity that we never got to fully explore with these three is off the charts

10.) Are there any problematic ships that are your NOTPs?

i do not care for wιllιam x mιchael aftοn- p sure its popular in fnαf proship spaces but im just never could come around to it other than that i cant really think of any- usually i only notp things because the fans piss me off about it, and i dont generally have that problem with other proshippers

11.) Darkest fandom you are into?

im really into old rpg horror games in general, and Those get Super Dark, so probably that!

12.) Least dark fandom that you are into!

sοfia the first, but rest assured im Making it problematic

13.) Rec a dead dove fic!

im so sorry but put on the spot, every single fic ive ever read and held dear has suddenly totally absconded from my brain and i cant recall literally any of them

14.) Song that reminds you of one of your pairings!

here just have some playlists i put together for some of them so i dont have to choose anything specific: Grim x Mandy Gaz x Zim Mabel x Bill Snufkιn x Jοxter and my general problematic playlist you'll like em

15.) Silliest reason you've been told not to ship a ship.

'its not canon' is the dumbest shit i've Ever heard and yet somehow is super pervasive in fandom

[semperreformanda]

life update

last june my boss let me go for “not being a good fit”

it didn’t take me long to put two and two together and realize that the big reason was because of my pregnancy. and the biggest support to this theory was he talked negatively about a coworker (who was in the company for 6+ years) who got pregnant, saying stuff like “I don’t want her back … I already know how it goes when employees get pregnant, they’ll start calling out … I don’t want to deal with that” he would say all that stuff to me and others behind her back so I knew I was only gonna stick around to save some $$$ and use the insurance as much as I could

(oh and she was forced to resign bc they literally did not want her there anymore 🙃)

but when it finally happened it drove me in anxiety and anger because I had relied on the insurance especially bc I AM PREGNANT

yes it is illegal yes I should have reported it but I had no energy to do anything

but God reminded me through it all that He provides and He does! and so silly of me to think He could provide for my greatest need (my salvation through Christ) but not provide for our little earthly needs

another reason I was annoyed was I was already planning to quit but they beat me to it 😂 but that was honestly the worst company I’ve ever worked for. I could not deal with the constant disrespect and the yelling and the cussing and their questionable ethics

they stole an engineer’s professional seal and stamp it on their projects WITHOUT HIS APPROVAL meaning all projects are “approved” 🥴 this was the last straw for me bc imagine all the hazards

anyways… that was almost 3 months ago and I honestly feel so relieved to not be working there anymore. I spent too many times feeling so incredibly stressed out and then even more stressed out that I may be hurting the baby from it

speaking of… I am already 27 weeks pregnant today 😭 I remember when I first saw that faint line and thought I was hallucinating things. we tried for months only with a stark white test every month, so seeing a shadow of a line sent chills down my spine. and 27 weeks later my little bubba has gotten so big and active 😭 I love him so much

like it’s so crazy how he’s so close to me but also so far it’s like a long distance relationship 🥴💀

also learned a lot about gestational diabetes bc my hypochondriac brain was convinced I HAD IT

apparently it’s not due to your diet and you can’t even cause it. shocking how this is not widespread knowledge, because so many moms feel guilty for failing their baby when they’re diagnosed but in reality it is mostly your placenta being a jerk 😭

so for the past few days when I got the call that I failed my 1 hour I acted like I had gestational diabetes 😭 became very picky with what I ate, which is hard bc my culture loves rice 😭 and I took 10 min walks after meals

all I could think about was my blood sugars spiking and how I needed to bring it down 💀

also I had to fast for at least 8 hours before I could do my 3 hour glucose test which was honestly so hard bc if you’ve been pregnant you know the pregnancy hunger pangs!!! I cried after my test because I was anxious about having GD and also I felt so bad for my baby 😭😭 like I starved him 😂 even though I know he’s fine in there because placenta n all dat

anyways I just wanted to let you guys in on that bc why not and also I’m bored and drinking chai while my husband works besides me 🙂🤠

[cryptvokeeper]

List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the askbox for the last 10 people who reblogged something from you! get to know your mutuals and followers (ू•‧̫•ू⑅)♡

man Yknow that thing where you constantly want stuff but when someone asks what you want you cannot think of a single gd thing

me but with things that make me happy I am full of simple joy but someone asks me to list it and suddenly I have never experienced tru happiness in my life

fuck it uhhhhhh

I like going on walks. it’s been like 90 degrees all week and I haven’t been able to but I finally went out yesterday and even though it was a humid nightmare it was nice to get out of the house

i like this shirt I just ordered and am very excited to get!! If it’s good then I’m gonna ask for more for Christmas cuz I like this stores prints

the welcome home Wally makeship plush has been rotating in my brain generating much seratonin (It’s like $30 which I cannot justify rn but maybe after my next paycheck I’ll order one.)

we’ve had signs of a mouse in my house for a while but there hasn’t been any sign in a few days and the exterminator didn’t see anything when he came back yesterday so I’m not as stressed about that anymore!

I started playing journey last night cuz I wanna meet up with another person in that game and also clean up some achievements. That games so lovely.

thank you! Sorry it took like 3 days to come up with things that make me happy!!

[unethicalexperiments]

listened to the new gd album. honestly about what i was expecting. a 5/10 at best. the lyrics were mid-to-bad and the instrumentals were basic (not that they’ve ever been particularly over the top with the guitar work or anything). very repetitive overall. i said this to kirsten earlier but i think the long shot album, foam, and this could have their tracks mixed and matched and the vibes wouldn’t change.

the critics were relatively positive on it which also doesn’t surprise me. certain magazines 👀 will always praise them no matter what. not to mention, most of the people writing for these journals are in the same stage of life as the band and may find it more relatable in that sense.

like. to me it felt tired and dull, like an old pillow on the couch. it’s nothing new it’s nothing exciting i feel like i can throw a stone and hit 5 other albums from other bands that sound the same. feels like putting out an album for the sake of putting out an album. or because someone needed the money. or maybe this is just what they like doing now. i’ve joked before about ac/dc putting out singles that sound exactly the same and it feels like this is what they’re doing now.

it’s disappointing but unsurprising to me. it feels like not that long ago the lyrics still felt fresh and inspired and exciting and like they actually meant something. but i guess 2016 really was 8 years ago. it feels like meeting up with an old friend who used to be the best time, just so much fun to be around but also an intelligent and profound person without being condescending, and the friend is just going on about how much they miss the “glory days” of high school. you can still be the person you used to be, you just have to try. like what the hell are you talking about?

gonna leave it here bc i feel like if i don’t stop i’ll just end up getting off track and rambling. also i’m stoned and incredibly hungry. track 3 has references to bisexuality which is a huge bonus w me so there’s that at least

[lurkingteapot]

Laws of Attraction กฎแห่งรักดึงดูด Ep 8

I really, really enjoyed this finale. I'll have to rewatch with subs at some point, at least in parts, because some of the details were lost on me (what was that new case of Chaan's about?), but I'm looking forward to it. I hope we get more queer shows out of One31 going forward -- can Organ and Sylvie get a spinoff, maybe? aaah I'll keep dreaming. Anyway! The live blog.

--

Six days late, but I'm watching this! I'm very sad that this is going to be over. Excited, too, though. Alright, going in.

WHAT THE FUCK is this cold open with the flashback in the moment of death type scene

Oh no, going to pay respect to his mum before he goes join her, huh.

ooooh is Maayaa going to broadcast whatever confession Rose catches at that warehouse live during her announced live? I BET she is and that's such a smart move, can't make something tens of thousands of followers saw unseen

this house remains an abomination

oh god Nawin please shut up

asdfasdf of course they're gonna punch each other about it

pick up the gd necklace, that's a tripping hazard or something

oh baby, crying in business class, huh

well that knot came apart easily

rescuing our lovers solidarity, huh

YIKES those boinks to the head with that thing would've had a pretty decent chance of killing the dudes if this were real

hahaha of course Chaan planted stuff. Let's hope this plays out as he hoped. can hardly believe Thatthep is this dumb, though on the other hand …

… oh god is Tinn going to ruin this take. He IS, isn't he.

I am SO nervous, goodness

he's pretttty convincing

250k viewers is pretty incredible

WOW this dude is cold as ice

ahahaha of COURSE someone was going to tell them this was getting streamed and they REALLY should've seen that coming

just put the freaking doll away and HIDE ffs Chaan

Tinn to the rescue

you fuckers, RUN

what are you doing

oh ffs Tinn don't RUSH the guy with the gun, and you, Chaan, don't just STAND there ffs

yeah that … was going to happen and I sure hope he's wearing body armour of some sort

how many shots does this thing HAVE??

hey. hate to interrupt but thatthep is still RIGHT THERE and ARMED

ROSE <3 <3 <3 I love her so much oh my GOD

okay everyone here is useless, why hasn't anyone called an ambulance

also I feel like Tinn should've been able to FEEL the body armour but w/e

so did they pull Thaenthai off the plane or what

adsfasdfasdasdf oh no he was being that passenger but I guess it's all for the best, huh

over the top and overdramatic, 10/10 no notes

asdfasdfasf Chaan being a BRAT because he can

GRANDMA 😂

asdfasdfasd of COURSE she'd be like "this is a HOSPITAL"

oh poor baby, your dad doesn't even want to see you in this situation, huh

and he said it himself

man I feel bad for Thaenthai.

offering Chaan "everything/anything" is a dangerous thing, Tinn

Tinn is so cute in his slow realisations. yes it's sorta overacted. no I don't care.

awww POST IT NOTES

oh no this is so cheesy (I love it) 😂

(it's a northern song!)

a proposal! wow. you've not even lived together yet! you only know his regular bad habits, not the living together ones! AND THEY'RE SHADING THE LEGAL SITUATION I love them

god they are ADORABLE

oh no, shovel talk!!!

asdfsdfasd TINN 😂😂😂

aaah the wlw mlm solidarity we love to see

I really dislike proposal and marriage plots but I'll give it to them, this admit this is cute

Nawin 😂

MORE shovel talk, oh no

oh, perfect drowning opportunity!

… is Thatthep trying to be a big man even in prison? I was so sure they'd ostracise him for killing a kid

ffs someone shut this dude up already (let it be Thee)

… oh WOW yikes ouch

I kinda hate that it was this was something Chaan probably set up. Not a fan of people making third parties get their hands dirty for revenge

awwww Thaen

whatcha gonna do with all this, hm? sell the house, get an apartment somewhere, be happy with Thee?

I really wanted for them to get to kiss, but you know what? these hugs are so heartfelt, I'll take them

oh Tinn, don't do that to yourself

look at grandma! look at Tinn with that ridiculous oversized bow tie!

Chaan subscribing to the "sun's out guns out" philosophy of fashion even on his wedding day, I see

ah, so he does have a jacket

oh they look good. hair and make-up on POINT

I have opinions on the set-up of this but there's a time and place for salt and this is probably not it

ASDFASDFDS GRANDMA

I like the "noise fades away and they're in their own world" of this love Sylvie's singing voice, godDANG

oh, Rose, looking at her all in love <3

Win 😅

of course they watch wuxia. probably domestically produced ones, too. incredible.

oh god I love them

KISS!!!!!!

aaaaaah can Rose and Maya kiss, too? for me?

god Chaan's "I'm so lucky" in love eyes. Film's expression here is so different from Thian's in-love-face and I love both of them.

AAAAAH MY GIRLS!!!!!!

PRODUCT PLACEMENT hello. I want twenty of those but also this REALLY shows the age of the intended target audience

ahaha Chaan back on the job, stirring shit. I love him.

oh my goodness, Chaan actually said it

this is reaching PatPran levels of interruption

I love them

I guess that was supposed to be cute but I couldn't see it as anything but overstepping, sorry, Tinn

oh, I love these long shots

… and that finaly second of that shot was 100% Film turning to the camera like "are we done yet" 😂

[garbagefarm]

Garbage Farm #50

2024-04-17, session #50 of Garbage Farm! Spanning Winter 16 through Winter 26 of Year 4!

cast:

me (@mothmute)

E.B. (@blueherin)

Kimi (@2kimi2furious)

Highlights include, but are not limited to the following:

Winter 16:

I'm gonna be tending the animals for a while, so everybody else can focus on getting their skills up to mastery

Ostrichard hatched!

doin' cheese chores!

I accept a BIG GAME FISHING quest from Mr. Qi!

—first, though, I need to do some submarine fishing! aaand accidentally miss E.B. who wanted to join, oh well.

Folks getting to bed late. "We do like to flirt with danger on the Garbage compound" "that's not all we flirt with 😉"

Winter 17:

Alex made Kimi pancakes! Alex keeps giving Kimi food to make her strong, because he wants her to carry him bridal-style. We all want Kimi to carry us, bridal-style. (She says she will get strong enough to carry all of us at once.)

(I remember Wizard's birthday!)

y'know, cindersap forest has regrown a lot since last time we deforested it......

Caught the Glacierfish Jr.!

Winter 18:

Starmas gift-givers announced! I got Pam, E.B. got Alex, and Kimi got Evelyn

having misplaced my own horse, Frucko, I borrow E.B.'s horse

I catch Mrs. Anglerfish and Son of Crimsonfish!

(Kimi deforests Cindersap forest)

Winter 19:

E.B. wants to open some of the mystery lootboxes, but Clint is nowhere to be found

Pam is also on vacation, allowing us to drive to the desert if we want

We failed fishquest. Kimi blames the ducks.

(Kimi is Possum's favorite)

E.B. tells me I'm tempting fate a lot these days. “that's not all I'm tempting 😉”

Winter 20:

Kimi wonders if we're on Pam's insurance. What insurance?? We had to get the Junimos to fix up the bus!!

Harvey says it's nice to live somewhere as relaxing as Garbage Farm

I deliver eggs to Gus — if I'm being honest, we probably would've gotten more for those eggs if we'd kept 'em.

E.B. finishes shipping the taro root that Caroline asked for!

Winter 21:

Caroline shares the secrets of solar power with all of us

it's a jelly day AND a keg day, I am busy all day

Harvey has nightmares about dragging E.B.'s limp body to the hospital

Elliott has nightmares about me giving him a buzz cut

(Alex never has nightmares, because that requires too many brain cells)

E.B. has been putting bombs in my fridge. “... thanks?” “you're welcome”

Winter 22:

I don't remember the context for this, but: how dare I suggest Kimi could read?

Pizza is missing... (maybe Shane found him, have you checked the mail?)

E.B. walks 10,000 steps, and would walk 10,000 more

Possum gives Kimi a snail!!

meanwhile, I'm mismanaging the cheese production for my own sick purposes, hope you don't mind. (E.B. accuses me of being a cheese deviant.)

Kimi finally finds Pizza: in bed for once in his gd life.

I set up a second water bowl, and get a turtle! Grandpa Jr.!

(I go on a late night stroll through the volcano, but return empty-handed)

Winter 23:

Kimi gets salmonella kissing Grandpa Jr. — “he's beautiful, so much better than the ducks”

E.B. makes rock crab rangoon, Marlon is very pleased.

—oh right at some point I activated the Danger Mines!

We all party up to conquer the mines!

E.B. dies due to disconnection, I die halfway into my bed. RIP I guess

Winter 24:

Finish the chores, and get back to the mines!

(those putrid ghosts inflicting nausea are awful!)

Kimi hits level 10 mining! One step closer to mastery!

Winter 25:

Elliott says something to Kimi about smelling the sea?? Honey, you're on a farm, and it's not even the beach farm.

It's Starmas!!

I give Pam a beer; Maru gives me a pumpkin pie.

Kimi gives Evelyn a flower; George gives her a pink cake. (I'm glad she's getting along with her in-laws!)

E.B. gives Alex an egg.

On learning that E.B.'s secret gift-giver was Kent, Kimi and I both immediately ask if he gave her a bomb. Turns out he gave her wine. ...then we realize it's a DIY molotov cocktail, because of course it'd be a bomb.

Shane wants to give out more pizzas.

Vincent got a “stegosonaurus”

Sam got a "joja basket" — I don't know what that is, but it doesn't sound great.

Winter 26?:

non-canon day

We decide to just have a fancy brunch this time. Drink some of our fancy ancient fruit wine, and eat our artisanal cheeses.

TO-DO

god we've still got so much left to do

need to find more of the jellies, so we can make a smoker

I'm still trying to set up crystalariums and preserves jars and kegs!

still— good garbage, everybody!

[reviewsbykarla]

the babadook

I finally did it. I watched the badabook. I’ve been hearing about this film for a long, long time and i was told it was “the scary movie for people who don’t get scared during scary movie”. i can’t even remember the last time a scary movie had me peeing my pants in fear, so let me tell you how excited I was for the bababook. i wanted it to be special, so i decided to screen it on my projector for my friends. little did i know, my roommate was the biggest scared person ever. jesus h christ he really was afraid. but it was hard to tell if he was being serious or not about his fear… i will get back to that.

SO fade in. the movie starts with a mother and child living alone at home. the mom is reading bedtime stories to her kid, as custom in popular culture. i honestly don’t remember what exactly happened between then and what i’m about to tell you, but it wasn’t really important if i can’t remember. so one day, the baby boy pulls out a new book and asks his mom to read it. it’s called “the babadook” and it’s about a creature that appears in your sleep and knocks knocks knocks before he comes in so you know he’s coming (doesn’t that kind of ruin the surprise?) and when you let him in, he theoretically tortues and kills you. After the mom read this she was like, oh fuck no we are throwing this gd book out” so she does. And the boy is already freaking out cause someone HAS been haunting him in his sleep. he’s pretty misbehaved though so the mom thinkis he’s just acting out since his dad died. like the baby boy is causing a lot of trouble in school and is like hurting people, and he blames it on the bababook but his mom and teachers are like, shut the fuck up you’re just being a little shit head. so anyawys, time goes on and the book keeps appearing in the house no matter how many times the mom throws it away. like waht the fuck!! i still wasn’t scared though. my roommate on the other hand, wouldn’t shut the fuck up about how scared he was even though he didn ‘twatch a god damn second of the film, instead staring at his phone so close to his face i thought he was gonna screw up his eyes. turns out, he was on tinder the whole fucking time!!!! every so often he would sit up and say “yo check out this chick on tinder” and then pass around his phone DURING THE MOVIE. i was really NOT IMPRESSED with him. i kept telling him to leave if he was so scared but he wouldn’t leave and just kept ruining the movie by interjecting with his dumb tinder and dumb opinions on how scary the movie was and how he “literally just can’t watch it” but still refused to laave the room or shut up.

i’m just so annoyed now that i can’t finish this synopsis. but rest assured, the badbook was truly not as scary as they said it was. but it wasn’t a bad movie.

*** 4/10 stars ***

[lesbienneanarchiste]

Fuck bros i do NOT know what I am doing re: online dating and it is so incredibly clear and I don't wanna fuck up but also like... Oof the emotional rollercoaster I've had in the last 24 hrs

[pppixelgd]

How to not drop the level you’re grinding (and not lose motivation)

ok so I’ve been seeing this same process happen to most of the people I know

someone finds a demon they want to beat

they start grinding the demon

they have a bad experience with the demon

they drop the demon

repeat 20x

sooo

Here’s some stuff that helps me beat demons without dropping them

(please note that I have adhd so you might not relate to some of the stuff I describe)

Chapter 1. Physical stuff

1. Take short breaks

I know this might sound counterintuitive (I mean, if you play the level less you wont beat it as quickly, right??)

but, think about what usually happens if you play a level for too long

you play the level > get mad > you keep playing level > get more mad > you play worse because you’re mad > repeat until you drop the level due hating the level’s guts

and if you’re playing worse because you’re mad, you’re going to take longer with the level, and I’m assuming you don’t want that

I would suggest that as soon as you realize you’re playing worse due to anger, you should take a break until you aren’t angry and then continue grinding.

(and if you are still playing badly, that probably means you should probably stop playing for the day because you’re burning out)

2. Only grind levels you know you can beat

now, this may seem obvious, but I have seen almost all of my friends make this mistake

and that mistake is... *drumroll*

Trying to beat levels that aren’t their skillset and are too hard for them

I have seen SO MANY people think that they could jump to a top 10 from something cataclysm difficulty, hell, even I thought I could do it! But take it from someone who tried to jump to Sakupen Circles from cataclysm, jumping. sucks.

Why does jumping suck you ask?

it doesn’t have quick progress

now I know that sounds weird, but lets be real, you’re probably not gonna like a level if you’re only making progress once every 2 weeks

it’s missing that dopamine rush you get from making progress, and honestly, that completely throws me off tbh

3. list placements don’t matter

I’ve seen a lot people think that lower on the list = easier extreme = they can beat it

let me tell you this

List placements are based on the average opinion, and I am assuming your skillset isn’t perfectly average

if your skill set is wave and you’re bad at cube timings then you will think that sonic wave is easier than black blizzard, despite blbl being ~30 80 spots below sw, and vice versa

4. there are extremes other than list demons

not much more needs to be said about this

instead of looking at pointercrate to find extremes, just look through gd/youtube and play ones you find interesting, you’ll have a better chance at finding an extreme that you like if you do that

Chapter 2. Mental stuff

1. Don’t set your expectations too high

This.

I have seen almost all of my friends fall victim to this problem.

When you set your expectations too high, you wont be able to reach them, and if you don’t achieve your goals, it might lead to anger/sadness, and you might end up losing motivation with gd.

also, uhh, this too

1 ½ . Don’t set your expectations too low

If your expectations are too low, you will meet them too fast, and if you keep meeting them too fast, you will get used to achieving goals quickly, and then when you meet your first road block, and you don’t get it quickly like you’re used to, you will lose your temper wayy quicker than normal.

2. You wont become a pro overnight, don’t hope that you will

I know, I know, this is the most overused saying like.. ever, but its true!

you’re not going to become a pro instantly like spaceuk (unless you have savant syndrome or something), skill takes time to build!

and if you hope that you will just magically become a top player then you are just going to be disappointed

3. it’s ok to take a break

Please, never push yourself too far.

I have seen so many people try to keep grinding and grinding levels despite them being obviously burnt out. Hell, even I have done this on multiple occasions.

Yes, you are determined, but it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t take a break every once in a while

remember, this isn’t a competition, you can stop whenever you like.

Extra stuff

Keep calm during grinds

brute force determination is what will get you through the level

only beat levels you want to beat

play on whatever fps you want, ignore what people say

don’t play gd for too long

ok bye cya later

[rouge-the-bat]

tagged by @thatoneweirdhumanisback owo! the other post is CRAZY fucking long with the reblog chain so im just separating my own lol

(and im glad u think im cool hehe :3 n i get being afraid to reach out to Cool Online People but if u ever wanna chat with me or somethin im down owo! i swear as a cool as hell person im also Just Some Guy. i contain multitudes JGKBZJF)

Rules: Tag 10 people you want to get to know better.

Relationship status: im dating my wonderful girlfriend @ megalo-station :3 shes the best i love her so much ♡♡♡ (also shadow the hedgehog and hiei are both my husbands-)

Favourite colour: pink!!!!!!!!!! hot pink, light pink, dark pink, reddish pink, purplish pink, magenta, bubblegum, fuchsia, i love every kind of pink!!!! pink like this specifically is my fave (this exact color is what i use as my name color on discord owo!):

Favourite food: my fave food of EVERYTHING would be hard to pin down so im gonna go for Categories-

if im going savory, then 1000% pasta. like any kind of pasta is fucking amazing. whether its more like spaghetti, alfredo, ramen, simply buttered, or anything else, im gonna eat the FUCK out of that.

with sweet stuff... ough man i love so many sweets. strawberries are probably my fave fruit, and i love having them added to or dipped in various stuff (like put on cake or in brownies, dipped in chocolate, sugar, or cream cheese, etc).

and i fucking LOVE desserts man. i cant even decide what my fave kind of dessert would be bc whatever id prefer just depends on the moment. cookies, cake, brownies, fudge, cheesecake, its all DELICIOUS. i just recently made some rasbperry brownies and ohhh my goddddd they were so good. mixing fruits with dessert is the gd best. adding coconut to them is Top Tier

Song stuck in my head: its only vaguely in my head atm but animals by architects! i just discovered the song yesterday and i fuckin LOVE it. actually i think im gonna listen to it again now lol. addendum: listened to a couple more songs afterward and now i also have god complex by vira and nightmare by megumi ogata going thru my head

Last thing I googled: well, lol. i was looking up a site i could get a quick pic of the color i put up there ^ and apparently #FE0071 is also some sorta technical number for an electric fuel pump?

Time: it is 1 minute after 2am as i get to this part. i just woke up like an hour or so ago. my sleeps fucked up rn lol (i really dont like waking up this early, i much prefer waking up at like, anywhere between 10am and 2pm)

Dream trip: id love to go to japan someday with my girlfriend- once i actually like. learn some of the language lol. theres so many cool things over there related to series i love n i wanna experience them soooo bad. i HAVE to go inside a pokemon center some day!!!! miku concerts!!! series themed cafes!!! and id LOVE to go to the cat island and fox village, i love those animals sooo much.

Something I want: since im a huuge rouge and kurama kinny and have gotten ear, wings, and tail phantom limbs, i sooo badly want to get these:

tho id be ordering the ears without the lil slices on the ear. but OUGH i want these. so gd fucking badly. once i have these ill be unstoppable. ultimate kinny mode

as for people to tag, uhmmm... perhaps @pinkcatminht @yoko-kurama-the-sex-god @hiei-doesnt-like-waffles if yall wanna? :'3

[marvel-m-lee]

Jay's Makeup Giggles

I actually like his fic a lot for the most part. I haven't felt so gd bout righting a fic in a while lol- though it's weird at the start, I promise it does actually get better.

Prompt: by @secretly-tword-obsessed - Lee Jay

Words: 2222

Warning: language, teasing, fluff.

-Big Mouth!

--------------------------------------------------

It was a casual day. Only it wasn't. I lied. Jay was now hiding somewhere in Nicks house, giggling nervously, awaiting for one of his friends to find him.

It had started off a normal day, Andrew and Jessi were going to come over to Nicks and Jay just stayed the night. Nicks parents loved him so they never really minded.

"So, Nick, Jay? What time are Andrew and Jessi coming round?" Nicks mum asked, everyone sitting around the breakfast tabled eating.

"Any time, but knowing them probably 11 or 12" Nick answered.

Both of Nicks parents looked at each other with lust, his father slightly whispered something rather a little too loud making all but the two lovers uncomfortable. Well and Jay- but that's just Jay for ya.

"Please don't say that when they're here-"

"Nicky, I perfectly normal -and healthy! To make love in the morning. Your mother and I would do it all hours of the day if you kids weren't around and we had no jobs-"

"That's enough dad!" Nick sighed, putting down his cutlery and feeling incredibly embarrassed.

Later Nick and Jay were getting ready when the door rang, alerting them that Andrew and Jessi were here. Nick ran down, Jay following after and let the two in the house.

"Hey Andrew! Hey Jessi!" Jay happily yelled, giving the two a hug.

"Hey Jay" Jessi chuckled, patting jays back.

"Okay, alright! Let's go upstairs and play some video games!" Nick said, the four ran upstairs and played video games.

Yeah, all rather casual for the most part. They played videogames, had lunch, played more video games- them jessi decided to scroll on her phone for a bit.

"Come on Jessi girl, let's do something fun!" Connie begged, watching ad the girl scrolled through Instagram posts of mini make up tutorials and clothing outfits.

"Connie I'm bored too, but the boys just wanna play videogames and I just wanna scroll through my phone" Jessi didn't once take her eyes off her phone.

"Come on!!!- oh I have an idea!!! We could convince them to let us do their make up!?" Connie's eyes shone brightly, as thiugh she'd just had the best idea.

Jessi thought for a moment, about to agree because that could actually be pretty fun, but she soon remembered she hadn't brought the little make up she had.

"We can't, I didn't bring any make up" she sighed, looking back at her phone.

Connie's expression changed from excitement, to disappointment ment, to yet more excitement in a matter of seconds.

"Check your bag!"

"What?"

"You packed some from the time you went on that horrific date-" An uncomfortable shiver went down Connie's spine, the same for Jessi's.

"Yeah- it was pretty shit..."

"Yeah... anyway go check if you still have it!"

Jessi jumped off the bed and went to grab her bag, Nick looked over to check if she was alright but soon realised she was fine.

Annoyingly that made him loose the game. "ha! Another win for the Jay Hammer! Thats what my pillow calls me" Jay winked but the other two grimisted at the thought of Jay fucking a pillow-

"Hey guys?" Jessie asked, picking something up and nor letting any of them see.

"Yeah Jessi?"

"Wanna do something fun?"

"She wants to fuck! She definitely wants you to pounds her" Maury chanted, excitement radiations off him. Andrew tried to ignore him.

"Uh.. sure Jessi, what?" Andrew asked, confused but wanting to see if Maury was right. Obviously he wasn't. But still, hope. 🤞

Jessi pulled out her make up and smiled evil-y as the lights flickered and the boys all screamed.

Very over dramatic indeed.

"What the hell jusy happened to the lights?" Andrew asked, looking up.

"Probably a fuise"

"Did anyone else hear that demonic laughter?" Nick asked.

"Me again, haha- MAHAHAHA" The lights flickered again as Jay laughed manicly, everyone else screaming. The next minute it was like nothing happened.

"Okay- anyway- Jessi you can't be serious? That's... make ups for girls" Andrew said, threatened by ruining his masculinity.

"Yes I'm serious! Plus, make ups for everyone. All it does is make your features show more"

"Jessi- I just don't think... make ups for me? Ya know?"

"Oh whatever Andrew, Nick? Jay? You two aren't afraid of make up right?" She asked, not wanting to convince Andrew.

"Uh... Jessi I just don't know-"

"I will!" Jay jumped up and off the bed, jumping up and down with his hand in the air like a child.

"Yes Jay!"

Jay and Jessi were both excited to do the make up, Nick and Andrew both shrugged as they continued playing their video game. Though it was better cause Jay would always win.

"Okay Jay, sit up here" Jessi said, patting the edge of the bed as she put her stuff down and grabbed a rather large make up brush.

Jay sat down and swung his legs like a five year old, he was more than happy to do this- for whatever reason. He sat patiently as he waited for Jessi to get ready.

Jessi had put some sort of powder on the brush and asked Jay to look at her, she gently held his chin in her hand and dusted the brush on his face, asking Connie if she was doing it right.

Suddenly though, Jay jumped upwards with a little squeak, everyone stopped and looked over at him.

"You okay Jay?" Nick asked, Jay went a little red and nodded, suddenly quiet. Andrew and Nick looked at one another, asking what the hell just happened, Jessi just asked for Jay to sit down again so she could keep going.

Reluctantly, Jay sat back down and waited. He tried to hold it in but he couldn't help as the brush dusted his cheek once more. Suddenly, light, bubbly, childish giggles splattered out of his mouth, giggling away as the brush tickled his skin.

He tried to twitch away but also tried to stay still, trying to mask was something he did rarely, if ever, but was trying so hard to at this moment.

"Jay? Everything okay?" Jessi asked, stopping the brush and taking it away. Jay's giggles didn't stop though, so he tried to rub them away which just messed with the powder slightly.

"Is- is he okay?" Andrew asked, yet again pausing the game.

"I dont know-"

Nick tapped Jay's shoulder, making him jump. For some, stupid, random reason whenever Jay was lightly tickled he'd become incredibly sensitive, not that he wasn't already, no. Jay was probably one of the most ticklish people in the world but would usually run and hide so his friends never found out.

"Woah- hey, Jay?" Jay stopped rubbing as the sensation went away, his face was going red as he realised most, if not all of his closest friends were in the same room, without him being able to run, as he was lightly tickled.

"Oh my god the boys ticklish-" Maury and Connie both exclaimed, now visible to all the children rather than just their kid.

"Aw, that's so cute!" Connie exclaimed, grabbing him and ticking under his chin, starting up a whole new bundle of giggles as he turned away.

"No! No-" Jay denied, still giggling like the five year old he was.

"Wait seriously?" Andrew exclaimed, jumping off the bed. Out of all of them Andrew was one of the most ticklish, but it wadnt a surprise, let alone new news. Jay on the other hand jumped at the slightest touch.

"How did we never realise?" Nick asked, rather surprised yet somehow not at all.

"Let's tickle him till he cries!" Maury yelled, wiggling his fingers at the boy who just giggled before he was even touched.

He shook his head, "g-guys! I-iheim not even ticklish!"

Jessi couldn't help but smile, Jay trying to ignore the fact of how ticklish he was was adorable to say the least. Especially as he was already giggling at the slight thoughts of being tickled.

"Aren't you a cutie!" Connie said again, tickling his chin, ears and neck making him squeal and step back into the bed. He tried to run away the sensations but couldn't stop the giggles or smirks growing on all his friends faces.

"N-no- really guys- ihihim n-neheot ticklish!"

"How about we test that theory?" Andrew said.

As soon as Jay heard that his eyes went wide and he ran. Probably faster than Usain Bolt.

So that's where we are, Jay hiding from his friends as the image of their wiggling hands corrupted his mindz reluctantly giggling. Jay slammed his hand over his mouth and shut his eyes tight, pretending he wasn't there.

Jay didn't hate tickling, he actually enjoyed it. His brothers would tickle him to tears and although they thought they were annoying him, Jay treasured the moments. His parents would do the same when he was much smaller, tickle him slightly and hear his childish giggles.

The thought of his friends tickling him? It was terrifying buy also exciting. He couldn't bring himself to let them though, so he hid away.

It had been 10 minutes, his giggles would stop and go all over again and he was surprised he wasn't found yet.

Only then did he hear people walking down the hall, calling out his name.

"Jayyyy? Where are you~" Andrew called out, the teasing didn't help. He flushed red and hid deeper in his hands, curling up.

"Jay, we're gonna find you" He heard Nick call.

"Come out~" Jessi couldn't help but laugh, imagining her friend in the exact position he was in.

The footsteps passed the cupboard but stopped soon after, Jay had accidentally let out a rather loud giggle after holding his breath. Once more his breathing stopped and so did everything else.

In a slash of a second, the door opened and Jay was thrown over some hairy monsters shoulder, squealing and yelling. Pounding his back.

"This kid is strong" Maury said, but soon gave Jay a poke on his side and he once more turned to a puddle of giggles. Jay was thrown on Nicks bed and the door was locked.

Jay curled into a ball and squeezed his eyes tight, giggling hysterically already.

"Oh my god he's worse than Andrew!" Jessi called out.

"Hey!"

"We haven't even touched him yet" Nick laughed, then going to poke Jay's side as he squealed.

"Jay~ are you sure you're not ticklish?" Nick teased, poking his side over and over abd Jay frantically tossed and turned, laughing now.

"NAHAHAGAHANOOOOO" He shook his head and squealed as the pokes became faster as faster.

Andrew them fluttered some fingers around his neck, giggles splattered out along with reluctant laughter.

"NAHAHA!! PLEASEEEEEE" Jay battered their hands away, begging as the sensations became stronger.

"Oh my fuck, you got him begging already?!" Maury cheered the kids on. Nick looked at Andrew and Jessi and the three decided to climb on the bed.

Nick said just below Jay's hips but not on his thighs, Jessi sat on his angles and Andrew used all his strength to lift up the boys arms exposing his armpits and sat on his wrists as he clashed around.

"All spread out just for us" Andrew teased, dragging his hands lightly down Jay's arms as he tossed and turned, giggling eyes squeezed shut after feeling the horror of being so exposed.

"Nahahaha!! A-andreewwww" Jay begged but soon he felt hands on his calves, Jessi's fingers slightly being dragged upwards. Jay couldn't help but bash his feet.

"Now, Jay? Are you ticklish?" Jay didnt care, he somehow thought that they'd believe him if he stood ground. Even if he was a giggling puddle.

"NooAh!?" He jumped as he felt Jessie flutter under his knees.

"Weak spot guys" she called out, then moved her hands and squeezed his kneecaps.

Jay shook and squealed then, bashing all he could to get out. His knees were definitely a weak spot, he couldn't handle the torture. And it had only just begun.

His friends all laughed at his situation and actions, then everyone dived in. Andrew scratched at his hollows, Nick squeezed his sides and hips, making him buck. Occasionally spidering his ribs which made his giggles bubble up again. And Jessi kept changing from squeezing his knees to his thighs.

Jay couldn't handle it all, not at one anyway. He shook and squeaked, a bright red happy face but begged abd begged.

"STAPPPPPPOP PLEASE STAPPPPHAHMMM" He spluttered out, his face was so red and he couldn't help the tears that formed through laughter over a party few minutes.

Everyone let up abd laughed with him as he crawled into a happy giggly little ball. Maury poked his side one last time for good measure with made him yell but they all just laughed.

"Aw, Jay's a ticklish like boy" Jessi teased. Jay hugged himself, drowning and his own laughter for a few minutes.

"Ya know we would have stopped if you asked?" Nick teased, jumping back on the bed witb Andrew to play again.

Jay went red again. They were right, he'd never actually asked them to stop, and he loved it so much. Everyone went back to doing their own thing and Jay just giggled. Fuck.

[hurricaneonanesthesia]

May I request Golden Deer x fem!reader headcanons where her upbringing didn't lend itself to her learning feminine hygiene like shaving or knowing how to braid her hair which makes her insecure and the house notices she never wears short clothes even in sweltering heat? Maybe with Claude x reader undertones?

Of course anon! I’d be more than happy to try my best. I certainly hope that I did them justice! Hopefully they aren’t out of character lol. to be completely honest, i feel like i rushed this towards the end lmao

~Admin Hurricane

Claude von Deer

He didn’t understand it, but you intrigued him

You weren’t like Marianne or Hilda, in fact you were far from it

It surprised him nonetheless when you were wearing long sleeves in sweltering weather

He’d asked you countless times why you weren’t wearing something lighter, but you would always shake your head and continue on with training.

It certainly worried him, when you suddenly fainted one day

He insisted that he be the one to carry you back to the infirmary.

Byleth had to force him to go back to class cause all his pacing outside of the infirmary was giving Manuela a headache.

When you finally woke up, he immediately booked it from the GD classroom and was the first one in

That was when you broke down and told him everything

He listened to every word you had to say, not breaking eye contact once please i love him he’s hubby material why isn’t he real sOB

When you finished he was silent before consoling you and pulling into a hug

He told you that it didn’t matter what your body looks like and that all that mattered was your personality and you as person

That caused you to break down more which made him PANIC lmao

Offered to teach you how to braid hair 

Whenever you guys are training or are in battle, he keeps an eye on you to ensure that you don’t faint again cause of heatstroke 

Advises you to drink plenty of water, STAY HYDRATED!

Ohoho Byleth the matchmaker caught on, and immediately paired the two of you together 

Whenever you’re feeling down cause you don’t seem “feminine enough” or are “too masculine” Claude immediately waves off those bad thoughts

Also to add onto you feeling down, if you were really out of it, he would drag you onto his wyvern and take you out for a ride :))))

Hilda

Hilda squealed when she first saw you, immediately dragging you into her room. 

She tried sprucing you up, but you didn’t really get it as she eagerly showed you different outfits and makeup

She got kinda upset when you stared out the window instead bored out of your mind

Tried to get your attention by waving her hands dramatically in front of you

She was pretty surprised when you opened up to her about why you weren’t interested

From then on Hilda decided to give you some tips on how to do your hair and such

She also gave you advice on clothes to wear, if you were still insecure. Something that won’t cause you to overheat, but is light and long enough to cover up your arms and legs.

Overall she was pretty open as soon as she learned about your circumstances and very willing to help.

Lorenz 

Off topic but Lorenz please change your goddamn pre time skip hairstyle

To be frank, the two of you didn’t get along that well

Why do I say that? Well you didn’t like his womanizing attitude towards other girls and felt that he was too stuck up for his own good

He thought you were too masculine and brutish for your own good and tried educating you which annoyed you to no ends.

Finally one day, when you couldn’t take his pestering anymore you just snapped

He stood there in shock, completely unsure of what to say

From then on he was more aware of what he said to you cause he was worried that what he would say would wound your pride again

Keeps an eye on you because he’s “such a gentleman” hey, his words not mine.

Raphael

Sorry bby, I love you Raph, but he’s a little bit dense 

Doesn’t notice your discomfort at first

Takes you awhile to open up but once you get to know him, he’s more than willing to listen

Being a big bro, he does his best to comfort you and encourage you saying that it doesn’t matter how you act he’s still rooting for you 🥺 BAHA PLEASE I LOVE THIS BIG TEDDY BEAR

Encourages you to wear whatever you like and be proud of yourself 

10/10 wholesome relationship

Bonus: if you still don’t know how to braid your hair, he’ll help do it for you cause he’s had plenty of practice with his younger sis 

Ignatz 

I’d like to think that he’s pretty sensitive and noticed right away

He asked you about why you were constantly wearing long sleeves

At first you weren’t that willing to open up, opting to change the subject and move on

However, as you came to know him more and discovered that his intentions were indeed genuine, you decided to tell him

He was rather surprised at first because he saw nothing wrong with you 

He told you to just continue being yourself and that everyone has flaws

You broke down crying and poor iggy panicked

You eventually stopped crying and thanked him

Since you shared your insecurities with him, he shared his secret hobby and love for painting and you encouraged him to pursue his artistic dreams rather than becoming a knight

Lysithea

She has many secrets herself but she isn’t very sensitive to how others are if you’ve seen her support with Marianne I think you know at first

Once you spend more time with her she notices how you avoid talking much about yourself and your upbringing

Not wanting to pry, she left you alone

Once you got to know her better, you slowly opened up about how you felt and your insecurities

And to your surprise, she listened

She kinda just sat off on the side patting your side unsure of what to say

Since you opened up to her, once you got to know her better, she found that she could trust you and told you abt her secret obviously i'm not gonna say it cause spoilers :)

Marianne

You’re insecure? She’s insecure? HOORAY YOU’RE NOW FRIENDS

Whenever the two of you hang out it’s literally just:

“....”

“.....”

“Um…”

Yeah...it's a little hard to strike up a conversation with Marianne at first

She was fairly curious about why you constantly wore long sleeves tho

"Um...y/n not to be rude, but why do you wear long sleeves? Aren't you hot, i-im sorry if I've overstepped, don't mind me…" 

But the two of you had grown close so naturally also being insecure you told her about your worries

Marianne didn't rlly know what to tell you at first and went all "oH iM soRRy you sHoULdNt bE taLkiNg tO mE bEcaUsE i bRiNg bAd LuCk"

Leonie

In a sense Leonie could relate to you

She told you to mmmm block out the haters and just be yourself

You gained a confidence boost from her cause she was encouraging and told you to just stay true to yourself.

She truly helped you get your walls down and let you know that its okay

Want more of my writing? Be sure to check out my masterlist :)

If you wanna request something, don’t be afraid to send something my way! Thanks for reading and have a lovely day!

[ultimatedemonsimp]

I've had all of this on my mind for too long and I refuse to apologize for what I'm about to do, but I understand that I'm prolly trash.

Bakers Family Tickle Headcanons

Jack Baker

Pre-infection:

This semi-sweet old man is a switch

Mainly goes after Zoe and Lucas, but does get into tickle fights with Marguerite pretty regularly (most of which he loses, btw)

Absolutely does the whole tickle monster spiel, don't even argue with me, I'm also pretty confident that he teases with compliments

Somewhat rough, but not too much

Raspberries are his favorite fruits. Just look at that man's gd beard-

Doesn't push anyone past their limits

Mostly likes to suprise his lee (leaning over the back of the couch, jumping at them or from behind corners, ect.)

Basically, even before Eveline and her "gift", you still couldn't walk around that house without feeling like you were about to be attacked by him

Old man is also very ticklish

Mostly tickled by Marguerite, but, every once in a while, Lucas has the nuts to get his father back

Ribs, stomach, sides and hips are his worst spots, mostly belly laughs

Likes to receive raspberry as much as he likes to give them

6/10 for ticklishness

Post-infection:

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST-

LER

With ever cell in his mold body, ler

Still tickles his family, but it's become more directed at Eveline and Lucas

That being said, he's very gentle with Eveline, the hivemind making sure he knows exactly what she wants and when

He still has tickle fights with Marguerite, but they've have become more savage and only slightly less loving

Zoe no longer interacts with the family enough to really do any of that anymore

But Lucas... poor Lucas gets his shit wrecked regularly.

A few long gone "family members" have been subjected to this sadistic old man's wrath, as well, but that's not to be dwelled on

As said above, Jack has become a sadistic fuck

Very rough, but not enough to leave bruises

Still uses the tickle monster act, but is much less affectionate than before, taking to scolding and/or insults instead of compliments when tickling someone other than Eveline

Still has his love of raspberries, giving and receiving

Limits? Don't know 'em

Is still as ticklish as before, same places, same reactions, if not a little more dramatic or erratic

Loves to chase his lees, taunting them the whole time (think of the shit he says while looking for Ethan in-game, but alter some of them a little)

Still 6/10, but he's a drama queen.

Marguerite Baker

Pre-infection

Mama of the year is a switch

Other than the tickle fights with Jack, she mainly goes after Lucas and sometimes Zoe

Very loving with her children, mostly does the "coochi-coo" kind of teases

A little bit mean to her husband tho-

She does the "now what are you doin' down there?" that I'm pretty sure all moms do

Really likes to back her lee up against a wall so they can slide down it and she gets to use that line

Stops far before her lee's limit

Southern mama is ticklish, but much less than her husband

Worst spots are the soles of her feet and underneath her toes, shrieks for days

Everywhere else is mostly giggles, whines, and the occasional squeal

Ticklishness is a 4/10

Post-infection

Another one that went from a pretty sweet switch to a mean ler

On rare occasions, she send her little bugs to crawl around on her lee

Not biting, not eating them alive, just walking and fluttering around

Still goes after Lucas, but not as much as Jack does

Is only a little rough with her little baby boy

Zoe doesn't stay around them long enough for tickles

Eveline, of course, is her main lee, who she is very gentle with

Tickle fights with Jack are more rough, though she sometimes tries to start and keep them light, which only really happens a few times every year, when the two of them are cuddled up together in the same bed like a proper husband and wife, tired enough to not want to full-on wrestle, but not enough to get them to sleep

Like her husband, she likes to chase her lee and search for them while they hide

Unlike her husband, she prefers to stay rather quiet, occasionally making comments on finding her lee

Only knows Lucas' and Eveline's limits, anyone else is fucked

Still ticklish, it was actually enhanced a little

Places other than her toes and soles produce more than giggles

Bumped up to a 5/10

Lucas Baker

Pre-infection

Boi is a lee-leaning switch that can't catch a break

Everyone in this house is trying to tickle him at every opportunity

Has tickled people back, but not often, other than Zoe

Him and Zoe have always had very rough and mean tickle fights

Whenever he tickled his father back, he tried to be mean, but it didn't work all that well

Actually just ended up just getting wrecked again afterwards-

Doesn't try to get his mama back though, doesn't mind it all that much from her

Gets Zoe at every chance, though

There's a 50/50 chance he'll respect limits

Ticklish everywhere, but especially his knees and waist

9/10, very ticklish boi

Post-infection

This mans lost all his fight-

Lee, mostly because his old man tuckers him out so much that he can't move for at least ten minutes

Not fully though, he still pops into the trailer to annoy his sister almost weekly

To make sure suspicion doesn't arise, tickles Eveline from time to time, still hates her

Jesus christ, he though he was ticklish enough-

Damn near screeches everywhere

Went from frantically trying to push your hand off his knee while laughing like a maniac to kicking you in the face while screaming like a banshee

He gives off major brat vibes, so that's what I'm going with

Chase him. You won't be disappointed.

It can be running through the giant house or hiding in the bayou, he loves it

Pull a Jack Baker and taunt him, he'll run faster, but also make more mistakes, like getting cornered

Those things are what makes him hate his dad so much because that's always what he does

11/10, went from very ticklish boi to *incoherent screeching*

Zoe Baker

Before Eveline

Was already a ler

Went after the whole family, too

Sneak up behind Lucas while he's doing an engineer and attack with claws to the waist

Daddy's working on the car? Well, he'd better pull down the hem of his shirt or his tickle monster of a daughter is gonna attack

Mama can't cook without checking if her daughter's around every few seconds or she'll be interrupted by a familiar set of fingers kneading her sides

Doesn't tease her parents, but Lucas, of course, gets all of it

Playfully makes fun of him for not fighting it all too much

Got her ler from her father and her lee from her mother

Not very ticklish, but more than her ma'

Hips and stomach are the worst

5/10

After Eveline, the only tickle related things that happened or changed was that she didn't interact with anyone but Lucas.

THEY'RE HERE! FINALLY!

I may or may not make one specifically for Eveline and/or Mia.